MBMBaM 743: Combination Taco Bell and Travis House

For a festive Candlenights, we’re bringing you our traditional no-cussing episode. We’ve got new McElroy sword lore, uncomfortable Elf on the Shelf mythology, and discussions of torture in beloved children's holiday films! Just your usual, family-friendly seasonal fare! Suggested talking points: Elf on the Snelf, Frank Sinatra Biography Bar, Magic Union Bushes Blade, Think A Cuss, Air BnBumble Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 1:10Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody. Welcome, my brother, my brother and me as a advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Jingle Justin Becker. Ooh, what's up, Trav Nation? Jingle Jangle, old Chris Krangle, Travis, big dog wolf. What's up, Trav Nation? And I didn't finish. Ding ding ding, ring a ding, ring ding ding, ring ding. Heart, heart, the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say, well, here's a way. What a formation, I am your middlest brother, Travis, big dog wolf.

• 1:43Travis McElroy?

  As you certainly guessed now, it's our candle night spectacular here at the McElroy Ranch. Griffin has frozen completely. No, he's back, okay? That was just my body too. That was not a glitch. Brother, snow down. I just kind of stopped for a bit. This is the one that you can gather the family around and say, this is that show I warned you about and then play it for them and everybody can have a good time listening because we're not going to swear. So get your Mema, get your pop pop, get a little Mema, which is what I assume you call the baby because she's little and wrinkled too. She looks like Mema, right? And it's like, oh, that baby.

• 2:16Griffin McElroy?

  Get baby Mema.

• 2:18Travis McElroy?

  Get baby Mema, get big Mema, get medium Mema, your middlest Mema, all the Memas.

• 2:23Griffin McElroy?

  Unstack your Memas of different sizes.

• 2:25Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Open them up. There's one Mema inside each Mema until you get down to a little egg and that's a baby Mema inside the egg.

• 2:34Griffin McElroy?

  That's a life cycle. That's a Mema life cycle.

• 2:37Travis McElroy?

  That's true. Uh, 10 years ago, we invented this holiday, a candlelight. That's my understanding.

• 2:44Griffin McElroy?

  What did we do the first four years?

• 2:45Travis McElroy?

  We just cursed up a storm every Christmas.

• 2:48Griffin McElroy?

  We were on that Christmas creep if, if memory serves.

• 2:51Travis McElroy?

  Creep and then we eventually invented our own holiday where the money is. Right. Yeah. And, uh, we wanted to come to you. If you, I will say this, if you didn't catch our video special, our candlelight's annual candlelight special, you can still go to bit.ly forward slash candlelight's tickets 2024 and watch it. It's just five bucks and the folks at Army House can really use your, uh, donation. They are the beneficiaries of all ticket sales this year. And so if you want to go watch that special, you can pledge five, you can even kick in a few extra bucks if you want to be a real. And there's merch. We got merch, candlelight's posters, candlelight's ornaments and, and like the special, imagine like you're hearing this, right? And you're like, how could it get any better than this? But then imagine just three silver foxes coming to you live

• 3:34Travis McElroy?

  and also dad's there. So a fourth older, much creakier silver fox.

• 3:39Griffin McElroy?

  Or a white fox at this point.

• 3:40Travis McElroy?

  A white fox, like a ghost.

• 3:41Griffin McElroy?

  Sounds like his Metal Gear Solid, like agent code name.

• 3:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, there you go. Ghost old fox. And then we. Dad dressed up as old snake now.

• 3:50Griffin McElroy?

  That would kick so much.

• 3:51Travis McElroy?

  Silver snake. And then, and we've got guests and there's segments and there's a, I will just say amazing, my favorite, Justin, I loved you put in the work and did like four different segments. Oh yeah. I did a lot of segments. Griffin, I went for, they got a DJ and Rachel dancing. DJ in. How can I compete with that?

• 4:11Griffin McElroy?

  A professional DJ and flight dancer. So you can't beat that. Bit.ly slash candle nights, tickets 2024, I believe is the.

• 4:17Travis McElroy?

  Please go do that. Uh, and now we're going to help you. You're welcome. The other day, my young nephew asked me if my 17 month old daughter, quote, "has gotten an elf on the shelf yet?" I said, "Not yet." But my husband and I have no interest in having an elf on the shelf or doing any of the work that goes its day to day lore. Sorry, lore day to day. "I don't want to do the elf, but I also don't want to spoil anything for my nephews in regards to the magic of the holidays. They live in an active elf home." "I feel like I got away with this. My kid is still very young, but I fear next year, the same questions are posed. Brothers, any advice on how to keep the magic alive, but not yet bring quite as much of it into my home via an elf?" That's from my shelter for books and knickknacks only.

• 4:58Griffin McElroy?

  You have control over the mythos in your home.

• 5:02Travis McElroy?

  Sure.

• 5:03Griffin McElroy?

  You don't have much control over much stuff in your home, but the mythos you do have control over. If your kid comes and asks, you say, "That's made up."

• 5:14Griffin McElroy?

  You say a lot of the, I know you probably think a lot of the stuff we do seems wild and out of pocket. A man who can go through ventilation into our home to give us free things.

• 5:27Travis McElroy?

  Like some kind of solid snake?

• 5:28Griffin McElroy?

  Like some sort of solid silver white snake? That's pretty far fetched. You can say, "No, that one's real. If you can believe it, that one's real. The elf?"

• 5:39Travis McElroy?

  That you can buy at Walmart?

• 5:41Griffin McElroy?

  You can buy a-

• 5:42Travis McElroy?

  He's in a box at Walmart.

• 5:44Griffin McElroy?

  Do you want me to show you the box the elf comes in?

• 5:47Travis McElroy?

  You are pulling at a very delicate sweater, my boys. You're pulling at a real delicate sweater. That's gonna raise a lot of questions that you may not feel so, so jazzed about answering, about what is and isn't real. And may, you may find it's a little easier just to buy the elf and let him live in your home. Let me offer this. Let me offer this. By the way, just to be clear, the elf is real. Travis and Griffin, they're kidding. Let me offer this. You tell your child that the elf is only assigned to kids who are kinda on the bubble and like Santa's keeping track, needs a closer eye on them for the naughty and

• 6:27Travis McElroy?

  nice list, right? But if your fate's already decided one way or the other, no need for an elf. We have an elf. We have an elf and I would be comfortable telling my kids that, that they're kind of on the fence. They're on the bubble. Yeah. They need a little extra, little extra help to get them back on the straight and narrow.

• 6:42Griffin McElroy?

  I would, and this is why screen time's so important. I would simply load up their iPads to the Wikipedia article for the elf on the shelf. If I may, this was a book and toy that came out in 2005. This is not a, it's not, it's not even 20 years old yet. Christmas tradition, this does not make, I refuse to let this, this tiny little embodiment of the police state into my home to watch my kids and have to be in all kinds of wild scenarios. I'm climbing out of the blender today. Woo.

• 7:12Travis McElroy?

  I, I think that's adorable when people who subscribe to Santa grouse about the police state in, in relation to the Elf on the Shelf. That's different. Santa's just a judgmental neighbor.

• 7:22Griffin McElroy?

  This is, this is.

• 7:24Travis McElroy?

  Santa's a man who's watching everything you do and deciding whether or not you get gifts. You cannot draw this like, oh, I don't want some space copy. That's Santa. But I don't get to choose. To Griffin's point, I don't get to choose if my kids are, are like know about Santa.

• 7:38Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, Santa's omniscient, right? There's nothing we can do about that. Elf on the Shelf infringes upon my Fourth Amendment rights in a direct and physical tangible way.

• 7:47Travis McElroy?

  I don't have to install a Santa simulacrum in my house to watch my kids. I want you to know that if your adorable kids walk into my home and start talking a bunch of yay about Clarice and her relative realness, I will, I will hang your kids out to dry as the heretics that they are. I will say they aren't getting anything for Christmas. That's fair, Justin, I get that. They're bad kids. Here's all I would do. They're liars and bad kids, they're confused. I would load up on my kids iPad, every TikTok video I see related to Elf on the Shelf, which seems to be one of. Sorry, you doubt, sorry, I just want to be clear.

• 8:19Griffin McElroy?

  You downloaded TikTok script.

• 8:21Travis McElroy?

  I don't know, but there's one of two, they're always in one of two veins, which is one, looks like the elf destroyed your toy, ate your food, cut up your pajamas, what a jerk. Or two, a child, a younger sibling usually has touched the elf and now everyone's lives are ruined. Yeah, it's hard to have kids for sure.

• 8:44Travis McElroy?

  They're always touching, touching things and screaming, but sometimes you just gotta get the elf and move him around, you know? I've never seen a single video of a child like going, I love that this elf is here. No, they're bad. They're objectively bad.

• 8:56Griffin McElroy?

  I wanna know about the algo you're, you're freaking surfing on dude, where you're getting elf on the snelf, elf on the shelf snuff films.

• 9:04Travis McElroy?

  My TikTok.

• 9:05Griffin McElroy?

  Just like, oh man, it's late at night. I wanna just see some kids touch elves and watch them perish.

• 9:11Travis McElroy?

  My TikTok is like, oh, you like videos where it looks like the dog is having a conversation with this person and you love, oh, this toddler said a funny thing? Cool. Here's a child killing magic in their home. Did you like that? Why is it better for, why is it better than watching Travis kill magic when he looks at his dog and says it's just a toy? That's magic killing. I, I didn't advocate for it's just a toy. I advocate for on the bubble. On the bubble, okay. And that's not one of the real elves. That's a store bought version. I see the color of your monitor flashing as you desperately search for something on the internet.

• 9:47Griffin McElroy?

  I was just reading the Wikipedia article for the elf on the shelf. Frankly, my dudes.

• 9:50Travis McElroy?

  If you give your kids Wikipedia access, you might as well move out.

• 9:53Griffin McElroy?

  That's a good point. I'm not gonna crack that open.

• 9:55Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 9:56Griffin McElroy?

  I'm just saying, it seems like we could come up with a way, way cooler elf on the shelf that would then turn into its own sort of multimedia, like Uber franchise. In the way, we got a stuffed animal once and it was an official elf on the shelf, Saint Bernard. And he came with his own book about how the elves on the shelves use these Saint Bernards to store up Christmas spirit so that they can use it when they, I guess, buy on the kids for Santa Claus later in the year. And we didn't know what elf on the shelf, well, my kids didn't know what elf on the shelf was. To them, this was like getting a Battle Cat without a He-Man knowledge. And so that, that's their entry point into the series.

• 10:37Travis McElroy?

  We should, okay, what about this? Hey, okay, parents, I'm gonna do it for you. You don't have to buy anything new, right? What you're gonna do is just every year, pick a different toy that already exists and you're gonna wire them up with a microphone.

• 10:50Griffin McElroy?

  Cool.

• 10:51Travis McElroy?

  And you're gonna tell your kids that there's a mole. Has got a mole on the inside and you don't know which one it is. And now it's, is you gotta find that mole. Who's, who's the confidential informant? Who's narking on him? You know what I mean? And it's like, oh, what's that? Oh, Raggedy Ann is wearing a wire. Right?

• 11:08Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know if the concern here was we're gonna have to spend a bunch of money on, uh, on, on elves. I think it's probably my concern would be I'm gonna have to think of clever like situations for this little scamp to get into every day. For me, that's the point pushing against it. Cause otherwise you could just say, yeah, there's an elf on the shelf in our house now. He's really lazy, really good at hiding.

• 11:33Travis McElroy?

  Oh, I see.

• 11:34Griffin McElroy?

  Really good.

• 11:35Travis McElroy?

  I don't think you guys have fully appreciated one thing, that there is a good three to four minutes every morning that my kids spend looking for the elf that they do not spend talking to me.

• 11:46Griffin McElroy?

  But how much time of your own private time did you spend looking like out of the bread box? No, we've done that.

• 11:52Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no, no, no, Griffin, you're confused. That's Hi Justin. That's his problem. Also, I'm pretty sure the elf moves on its own, Griffin. The elf. He's great at it. He loves it. Honestly, he loves the challenge.

• 12:05Griffin McElroy?

  I'm curious what Hi Justin brings to this operation.

• 12:08Travis McElroy?

  Yesterday, yesterday, the elf was hanging upside down the lamp and underneath where the elf was hanging, I put a pile of mini Eminem's and I said, Sid, does that read?

• 12:22Griffin McElroy?

  Or like think these fell out of his pockets. I think it reads.

• 12:24Travis McElroy?

  That's kinda what I was going. I was like, I spent a good two minutes, let's be fair, 90 seconds. Try and figure out how to suspend an Eminem in midair to have like the effect.

• 12:34Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, cool.

• 12:35Travis McElroy?

  You know, land, but no, no, no, it's just a fun little tableau. You know what? I don't actually mind doing it because it makes my kids happy.

• 12:41Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, come on. You don't have to do this.

• 12:42Travis McElroy?

  All right. Okay. You can't pivot from three to four minutes where my kids don't talk to me too. I do it because it makes my kids happy. I contain multitudes. My brother, little message tree, letting me know what he got my husband for Canaanites. It's not something he'd like at all, to the point where I'm not sure where he came up with the idea. It's slightly more my. Speed, gotta catch them all. You know how it is, but barely. What is the best way to lie to my brother in law? To tell him the gift is fine without laying it on too thick. He'll love it is so far beyond the truth that I can't bring myself to type it. Please, brothers, I've already pretended I haven't seen the message for like 15 minutes. I can't go silent for too long. That's from present panic in the Palmetto state.

• 13:24Griffin McElroy?

  I will say this about parenthood. This is one thing that it, you gotta confront pretty quickly. Cause we get a lot of these texts, I would say every year from multiple people. Yeah, I'm gonna get, uh, Henry here, the complete works of William Shakespeare. Don't do that. He won't, he won't like that.

• 13:42Travis McElroy?

  In there, you hit the nail on the head. First of all, question asker, you're not in the wrong. Because your brother in law texted you past tense. I got this for them already. That's where they messed up. It's gotta be. You can say is, oh, he'll love it. Right. At that point to say, oh, it sounds great. Oh, he'll love it. But that's why you text to say, I'm thinking about getting this. I'm going to get, this is what I'm looking at. Yes. Would they like this? Because once they've made the purchase, that, no, I'm not gonna give you negative feedback at that point.

• 14:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, of course not. But you don't wanna ruin Christmas. One, Christmas is gonna be ruined for one of these two people, the gift giver or the gift receiver, right? Cause if you get it, guys, we're all adults here. The presents aren't even what it's about for me anymore.

• 14:32Travis McElroy?

  Okay, it's the money?

• 14:33Griffin McElroy?

  Applause, please. Just a little recognition that what I said was like pretty huge. And pretty like, cool, I thought. Uh, it's not even about the presents for me anymore. Um, but if I get a real stinker of a present.

• 14:48Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you, Travis. Thank you.

• 14:49Travis McElroy?

  You're welcome, Griffin.

• 14:49Griffin McElroy?

  I thought I cussed and you were clapping to mark.

• 14:51Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no, no. That's why I didn't clap the first time, but then you seemed to really need it. You needed it.

• 14:56Griffin McElroy?

  I did need it. It's not even about the present.

• 14:58Travis McElroy?

  Grown up Christmas wish.

• 15:00Griffin McElroy?

  It's, I'm kinda grown up now, cause for me, it used to be about all the presents.

• 15:04Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Okay, so what's it about now?

• 15:06Griffin McElroy?

  Different now.

• 15:06Travis McElroy?

  Religion?

• 15:06Griffin McElroy?

  But it's not about religion. It's about, I guess, the time you spend with your family.

• 15:12Travis McElroy?

  Opening presents?

• 15:14Griffin McElroy?

  Not even about that for me anymore, but if I do get a real stinker of a present, I'll be in a mood. How could you get me? How could you get me so? How could you?

• 15:22Travis McElroy?

  I don't think that's true what you're saying.

• 15:23Griffin McElroy?

  I wouldn't be in a mood, but you may be referenced. I will say there is definitely historical reason to believe this, that you will be made the butt of a joke for the rest of their lives.

• 15:35Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. I'll say this.

• 15:36Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Especially if it's a real wild pull. If it's like, what? I, why would I want these like Hummel figurines or whatever, right? That's gonna be referenced.

• 15:46Griffin McElroy?

  I, I love our dad. I think I'm on record saying that in a lot of places.

• 15:52Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:52Griffin McElroy?

  I love you, dad. Dad might see this or listen to this. I love you, dad.

• 15:56Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Griffin has been clear about that since at least 2021.

• 15:59Griffin McElroy?

  I'm huge on that. Covid, I really did a lot of work to love.

• 16:03Travis McElroy?

  He fell in love with his dad all over.

• 16:05Griffin McElroy?

  I love my dad as of Covid. But one, one Christmas, um, within the last decade. So as an adult man, uh, dad came up to me after the Christmas stuff was done and had another little, little present for me. He's like, here, uh, this is, this one's for you too. I forgot to put it under the tree. I was like, oh, okay, cool. Thinking like, here we go. Red Ryder BB gun. It's a Nintendo 64. There's something little special, something else that Santa sneaked away there. And I opened it up and it was a biography about Frank Sinatra. Old Blue Eyes.

• 16:41Travis McElroy?

  Heck yeah. Is it was the way you wear your hat?

• 16:43Griffin McElroy?

  It's the, I guess the way I wear my hat and my cool general.

• 16:46Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no, no, no, no.

• 16:48Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, no, I thought you were saying, why did dad think that?

• 16:50Travis McElroy?

  Do you wear your hat in an interesting and unique way?

• 16:53Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know. I don't know how to say this more clearly. I don't care about Frank Sinatra or that whole vibe at all. I think it's so boring and I do not understand it. I think he sucks and he's boring. He's the Snoopy of dudes and dad, dad apropos of, I don't even like books, especially not biography books about a dude I don't like.

• 17:20Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Dad, we didn't have a ton of money growing up and a lot of times dad would have promotional items from the radio station that people would send for like review that would end up as like, well, who is this the best student for? Like you might end up with a season one of Billy Ray Cyrus's Doc on DVD, for example. Yeah. Oh yeah. I guess I, do you have a DVD player? It's a good call. Yeah, that's a good fit.

• 17:41Griffin McElroy?

  The point of that story being that when we do reference like a way out of left, way out of pocket present pick, we do, me and Rachel do usually use a Frank Sinatra biography as shorthand for what that would be, which is a gift, which is a kind thing to give someone an inside joke, even if you are the butt of it.

• 17:58Travis McElroy?

  I remember a year after Pirates of the Caribbean Curse of the Black Pearl came out, which I saw in theaters nine times.

• 18:05Griffin McElroy?

  Was that the first one?

• 18:06Travis McElroy?

  Yes, correct. And dad got us all replica swords. And if I remember correctly, you guys got, I don't know, like the Sword of Gondor or like the Bride's Blade, Tori Hanzo.

• 18:19Griffin McElroy?

  I got the Buster Sword, dude.

• 18:20Travis McElroy?

  The Buster Sword. And then I opened mine and it's like this four foot long broadsword, where the hilt was a huge skull and crossbones. And you could pull two of the bones out and they were daggers. Yeah. And dad said, you know, this is a replica of the sword from Pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah. That one was. That was a good. And it simply is not. It simply is not from Pirates of the Caribbean. And also. Is there a notable sword in Pirates of the Caribbean? A beloved sword? There is a sword, or two. They use swords quite often. None of them are like two-handed broadswords with a giant skull.

• 19:03Travis McElroy?

  It did rule, but I was also in college in Oklahoma and I had to fly back and forth for school. And I know that you can check some things in a bag. I did not have a suitcase capable of checking a four foot long two-handed broadsword. Get an extra seat for your steal.

• 19:20Griffin McElroy?

  What I love about that story is it does cover both ends of the surprise out of pocket present gambit, which is that me receiving the Buster Sword, that was a very good Christmas present. That was a, that one. Hit real good. I use that to cut up watermelon in my first apartment I lived in. That thing.

• 19:35Travis McElroy?

  I remember that.

• 19:36Griffin McElroy?

  That was good.

• 19:37Travis McElroy?

  What's fun is if dad is listening to this right now, I know that that pirate sword, big skull thing is hanging on the wall of his office. And he's probably looking at it right now, maybe realizing for the first time that it is not a replica sword for Pirates of the Caribbean. And in fact, just a giant pirate broadsword. Hey, do you guys remember when we found that sword behind the bushes? I do. Can I ask you about that? I just think.

• 20:02Griffin McElroy?

  You're about to like establish some deep, deep McElroy lore that I can't believe is not out there.

• 20:09Travis McElroy?

  Travis remember, okay.

• 20:10Griffin McElroy?

  I remember it.

• 20:11Travis McElroy?

  Okay, so we all remember at one day, so in from our house, our ancestral home on 10th street in West Virginia. There was row bushes outside the porch. And one day we went behind the bushes and that was a thing. Going behind the bushes was was an issue, right? You had to really get back there. It was a whole production. You'd usually get poked by thorns. So nobody wanted to go behind the bushes. But one day we went behind the bushes and we found a. I would, I mean, I without knowing anything about swords, like it looked like a civil war era saber, right? That's exactly how I would describe it. Very beat up, like the, I remember the. Scabbard, like the end of it was like broken off. Yes. So here's what I want. And so we for years.

• 20:54Travis McElroy?

  As you can imagine, being young boys finding a sword behind some bushes, it's like incredible. And we for years, like we had this sword and we talked about it, wondered about it. It is occurring to me now, Trav and Griff, talking through this. Dad definitely bought that sword and didn't want mom to know. A hundred thousand percent. There's a, it's, I, guys, I'm 44 years old. And I realized 20 minutes ago, dad definitely bought the sword. Like an antique store or a rummage sale or something. Put it behind the bushes as a fun little thing, or because he didn't want mom to be mad at him. It was one of the two.

• 21:37Travis McElroy?

  Whoa, a sword? How weird. I guess I should keep this in my room. Chose me.

• 21:43Griffin McElroy?

  Hard disagree, guys. I think a big civil war fight happened outside our house. And I think a general.

• 21:51Travis McElroy?

  In the year 1994? Yeah.

• 21:53Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 21:54Travis McElroy?

  Cause it wasn't there when we moved in. And it wasn't buried, Griff, and it was just sitting on the ground.

• 21:59Griffin McElroy?

  Buried and tectonic shifting pushed it upwards, oil.

• 22:04Travis McElroy?

  We had a 3.3 earthquake here in Huntington this week.

• 22:06Griffin McElroy?

  It happens, it unearths old Civil War swords. Every time that that happens, there, there's a whole, there's a whole strata of them under the surface. It doesn't take much for one of them to poke up. And so this sword, which does have magic properties, uh, was very real and a relic. And I don't know what, where it is right now. If it got thrown away. Did it get thrown away? Probably. It was an old sword. It was pretty beat up.

• 22:29Travis McElroy?

  And it was definitely for the Union, so don't ask. So.

• 22:32Griffin McElroy?

  It was a magic Union blade.

• 22:34Travis McElroy?

  Hey, everybody, it's holiday season. And you know what that means? It means holiday specials.

• 22:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 22:41Travis McElroy?

  Who makes the most beloved holiday specials? Well, that's right. Rankin-Bass. But what you may not know, folks at home, Rankin-Bass has a huge list of specials that they have made that you may not have heard of. And so I would like to play a little game that I'm calling Rankin-Bass or Stankin', and I have to say but here. But I think you can infer.

• 23:01Griffin McElroy?

  Rankin-Bass or Stankin' But.

• 23:03Travis McElroy?

  I think you're able to infer.

• 23:05Griffin McElroy?

  That is basically, you made everyone think a cuss, which is like, in some ways, worse than saying.

• 23:10Travis McElroy?

  Unless they don't know it. If they already know it, that's their fault. If they think the cuss, it's on them. I'm gonna give you three titles. One of them is an actual Rankin-Bass special. And two of them I have made up. This is inspired by, of course, telly title tellers, which you may have seen on, uh, on, on, remember Family Clubhouse?

• 23:28Griffin McElroy?

  Clubhouse.

• 23:29Travis McElroy?

  Okay. First round. I got four of these. You ready? Four rounds or four titles? Four rounds, three titles each.

• 23:35Griffin McElroy?

  For a total of 12.

• 23:37Travis McElroy?

  Sure. Just like there are months in the year. Think about it, folks. Sure, if you say so. Sir. Willie, all right, John Nash. All right. Oh, no. Willie Mays Hayes and the Say Hey Kid, Hank Aaron and the Wind Up Toy Boy, Nolan Ryan and the Cat With No Name.

• 23:54Griffin McElroy?

  That's cool. All those are cool, cool, cool names.

• 23:57Travis McElroy?

  Wow, Trav, I didn't think you, I was expecting like Year Without a Santa Claus or something, um.

• 24:03Griffin McElroy?

  Give them one more time, cause you, all I heard was just like names flying past me.

• 24:06Travis McElroy?

  Okay, Willie Mays and the Say Hey Kid, Hank Aaron and the Wind Up Toy Boy, Nolan Ryan and the Cat With No Name.

• 24:16Griffin McElroy?

  I gotta do.

• 24:18Travis McElroy?

  I can probably say the wind up toy boy, not the wind up toy boy.

• 24:21Griffin McElroy?

  No, there's no way to say it that way. It is, I feel pretty strongly as Hank Aaron in the wind up toy boy.

• 24:28Griffin McElroy?

  That hits right.

• 24:29Travis McElroy?

  I think the say, hey, kid, that, that, that seems so weird.

• 24:33Griffin McElroy?

  Willie Mays sounds like the oldest one and Rankin Bass movies are pretty old.

• 24:39Travis McElroy?

  What do you got, Trav? It is Willie Mays and the Say Hey Kid. A guardian angel agrees to help Willie Mays win the National League pennant. If Mays agrees to take care of Veronica, a lonely, mischievous orphan girl. Veronica makes Mays's life difficult, but when relatives show up to claim her after hearing that she's inherited money, Mays's heart softens.

• 25:01Griffin McElroy?

  Wow. Is this an animated film?

• 25:04Travis McElroy?

  It is.

• 25:05Griffin McElroy?

  Cool. It's the ABC Saturday superstar movie.

• 25:08Travis McElroy?

  Okay. You ready for the next one?

• 25:10Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 25:10Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. The fairies holiday trove, the leprechaun's Christmas gold, or the mermaid's first Christmas.

• 25:18Griffin McElroy?

  First, what was the first one again?

• 25:20Travis McElroy?

  The fairies holiday trove.

• 25:24Griffin McElroy?

  And the second one again, what was that?

• 25:25Travis McElroy?

  The leprechaun's Christmas gold.

• 25:28Griffin McElroy?

  And go ahead and give me that third one one more time.

• 25:30Travis McElroy?

  The mermaid's first Christmas. It's the first one, I think. The fairies holiday trove. That's my guess. I think that that is, I don't know, trove just seems like a strange word for you to use.

• 25:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, for sure. I really like the leprechaun's Christmas gold a lot. Because I feel like there's a lot of story potential there. So I'm going to, I'll pick that one.

• 25:53Travis McElroy?

  Griffin is correct. And I actually love this movie. It's on a weird Rankin Bass collection we have. That includes the Frank Albaum, uh, the true story of Santa Claus. That includes him becoming immortal because the band of fairies gives him immortality. But in the leprechaun's Christmas gold, um, a young Irish boy on a ship passing by an island realizes it's Christmas. And he paddles a boat over to get a Christmas tree. And then digging it up frees a banshee from her prison. And she tries to steal Christmas gold and she's a shapeshifter. And the only way to know is she's always crying. And with the help of Saint Patrick, the leprechauns have to trick her into turning to liquid so they can replant a pine cone to trap her back under a Christmas tree.

• 26:38Griffin McElroy?

  This movie sounds lit, actually.

• 26:40Travis McElroy?

  Rules. It's so good. Um, and has some great songs in it. But my favorite is the casting where Art Carney plays Barney Colarni and just saying it makes you so happy.

• 26:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yowza.

• 26:54Travis McElroy?

  Okay, next one. Tommy McBlunder and his marvelous wonder, Willie McBean and his magic machine, or Susie McCarville and her miraculous marvel?

• 27:06Griffin McElroy?

  Willie McBean sounds, sounds, I, it hits, I'm nostalgic for Willie McBean and I don't even know who he is.

• 27:13Travis McElroy?

  But is that because you're?

• 27:15Griffin McElroy?

  Thinking of Willie Beamish, the Sega CD, uh, point and click adventure game? I don't know. I thought of that.

• 27:22Travis McElroy?

  What do you think, Justin? It's in your brother's heart somewhere. I think it, it, say the names. Tommy McBlunder. But look in my eye. Take your sunglasses off. Just regular glasses. I can't read it. I can't read it. Tommy McBlunder and his marvelous wonder. Put it back on, put it back on, put it back on. Willie McBean. Hair down, glasses off. Tommy McBlunder and his marvelous wonder, Willie McBean and his magic machine, Susie McCarville and her miraculous marvel. I'm gonna say Susie McCarville and her miraculous marvel. The correct answer is Willie McBean and his magic machine. The film tells the story of Willie McBean, a young schoolboy who teams up with an anthropomorphic monkey named Pablo

• 28:03Travis McElroy?

  to prevent the villainous professor, Rasputin Von Rotten, from changing the history of the world using the newly created and duplicated magic time machine.

• 28:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I remember that one.

• 28:14Travis McElroy?

  Sounds good. So right now, it's two to one, Griffin leading.

• 28:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, okay. It's sad at the end of that movie when Pablo gets pulled into the time fan, which is the sort of propulsive force on the machine and his, his body's destroyed and scattered throughout history.

• 28:29Travis McElroy?

  But there is one molecule of Pablo in every.

• 28:31Griffin McElroy?

  In everything. We are all Pablo.

• 28:33Travis McElroy?

  We are all Pablo's.

• 28:34Griffin McElroy?

  Breathe in that monkey, breathe in that monkey's red juice.

• 28:38Travis McElroy?

  Okay, here's the last one. The Godzilla show, the Ultraman show, or the King Kong show?

• 28:46Griffin McElroy?

  I mean.

• 28:47Travis McElroy?

  Think Rankin-Bass did it. What was the first? The Godzilla show, the Ultraman show, or the King Kong show? I feel like Rankin-Bass would have done. I feel like they would have gotten Japanese companies to do the first two properties. To me, I feel like an American company would have gotten King Kong.

• 29:07Griffin McElroy?

  Um.

• 29:08Travis McElroy?

  Or they might be an English company, by the way. Yeah, I would say King Kong.

• 29:12Griffin McElroy?

  I like Ultraman.

• 29:15Travis McElroy?

  Me too. Kicks butt. So, yeah. Yeah.

• 29:17Griffin McElroy?

  I'll say him.

• 29:18Travis McElroy?

  You'll say Ultraman? Justin's correct. It's gonna tie it up. We're ending here on a tie. Everybody wins. In this, the King Kong show, in this series, the giant ape befriends the Bond family, with whom he goes on various adventures. Heck, yeah. Uh, fighting monsters, robots, aliens, mad scientists, and other threats. Unlike King Kong's destructive roles in this film, uh, the cartoon turned him into a protector of humanity. Now, what's interesting, Justin, is you got the answer right, but for the wrong reason. This was actually the first, uh, animation, anime, made by a Japanese company for American audiences, teamed up with Rankin-Bass, written by Rankin-Bass, but animated in Japan and sent over here. There were a lot of those, by the way. They made several, like, Kaiju-style movies.

• 30:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 30:04Travis McElroy?

  Written by Rankin-Bass, but made in Japan.

• 30:07Griffin McElroy?

  In this one, King Kong wanted to be a podiatrist, and he had to leave Skull Island in order to get.

• 30:12Travis McElroy?

  Did you know Rankin-Bass made Thundercats?

• 30:15Griffin McElroy?

  I didn't know that.

• 30:16Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 30:16Griffin McElroy?

  But I also, I also never really cared to find out.

• 30:20Travis McElroy?

  Okay, cool. Fun energy.

• 30:22Griffin McElroy?

  I'm not saying that, no, no, I'm not saying I resent what you just did for me. I'm saying I personally would not have sought that information out. I'm not mad that you've given it to me.

• 30:30Travis McElroy?

  On this, on that cheerful, high-energy note, we will take a break and follow.

• 30:36Griffin McElroy?

  I'm not saying the content is bad, Justin. I don't like being characterized like I say the content's bad. I think the content's great.

• 30:43Travis McElroy?

  We left the room.

• 30:43Griffin McElroy?

  Would I have done it?

• 30:47Griffin McElroy?

  Not on my own, no.

• 30:59Travis McElroy?

  I'll tell you what you could do on your own, Griffin, and that's find a doctor, thanks to Zocdoc, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

• 31:05Griffin McElroy?

  I went on Zocdoc, and it's a shame that this is our Candle Nights episode, because there's some ideas that are about to be expressed that may be challenging for young years. But to get a special sterilization operation, I went on Zocdoc. Do you guys understand what I'm saying?

• 31:21Travis McElroy?

  And it wasn't mandatory. This wasn't like a state enforcing.

• 31:24Griffin McElroy?

  Nor was it mandatory from, as a client, Zocdoc wasn't like, and also, if you could go use our service to find someone.

• 31:32Travis McElroy?

  In order to use the service.

• 31:34Griffin McElroy?

  In order to use the service.

• 31:35Travis McElroy?

  For us to pay, we will pay you, we will pay.

• 31:40Griffin McElroy?

  Go ahead and say Justin, 25 bucks.

• 31:42Travis McElroy?

  I don't think it's a good, I don't think it's a good energy. I don't think, Zocdoc, Zocdoc won't even make you get a surgery that you don't want to get. That's true. 100%.

• 31:50Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 31:50Travis McElroy?

  They're really flexible about that kind of thing.

• 31:52Griffin McElroy?

  They did genuinely help me find my number one dude at this point, who did, who did my vasectomy and just a, just a really bang up job, really spectacular. Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors, choose the right ones for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment. That's what I did. We're talking about in-network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health, eye care to skincare, gonad stuff. Do you know what Henry calls, I have to share this, guys. Do you know what Henry refers to? And he knows it's not right. Like, he knows it's not a good thing to call your privacy something other than like the technical like terms we try to enforce that.

• 32:35Griffin McElroy?

  But he started calling it his gunky stuff. And that's really terrific. That's really terrific.

• 32:42Travis McElroy?

  That's good.

• 32:42Griffin McElroy?

  He, when we say anything else at this point, he's, he's trying to get it started, which I appreciate as a, as a fellow content creator. Anyway, so much more, Zocdoc appointments happen fast, within 24 to 25 hours of booking. For all your gunky stuff, you can even score same day appointments. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments. Go to zocdoc.com/MyBrother to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z O C D O C dot com slash MyBrother, zocdoc.com slash MyBrother.

• 33:10Travis McElroy?

  You know what's coming up, folks? A new year. And it could be time for a new look. Maybe change your look up with Stitch Fix.

• 33:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 33:19Travis McElroy?

  Um, sometimes, man, there's been stuff that Stitch Fix has sent me that if I were like just in a store shopping for myself.

• 33:26Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 33:27Travis McElroy?

  I don't even know if it would have caught my eye because I would only be thinking about like the stuff I normally wear. And then like I get that and I'm like, huh. And I put it on and I'm like, yes, I would wear this every day.

• 33:37Griffin McElroy?

  Absolutely. I'm H2T in Stitch Fix pickups for my last box today. And it is.

• 33:43Travis McElroy?

  Amazing.

• 33:44Griffin McElroy?

  I like that sweater. I'll tell you. Thank you. It's from a brand I had bought clothes from before, not through Stitch Fix. And Stitch Fix was like, has me so dialed in that they're like, we know exactly what you like. And they were right.

• 33:55Travis McElroy?

  And that's because you work with a stylist, a personal stylist who's going to like, take the things that you say you like to wear, your budget, your size, your style, all those things into consideration, pick out stuff just for you, no subscription required, send it to you, and then you can pick and choose which of those pieces you want to keep and only pay for the stuff you keep, or keep the whole box if it all works for you. But you send back the rest, you only pay for what you keep. It's an amazing service that we have all been using for years and years now. Go sign up with Stitch Fix, try something new. Make style easy. Get started today at stitchfix.com/brther. That's stitchfix.com/brther. A right down the middle, normal.

• 34:38Griffin McElroy?

  I loved it.

• 34:39Travis McElroy?

  Candlelight advertisement.

• 34:40Griffin McElroy?

  A normal one for a change.

• 34:44Speaker 03

  Who's ready for some science?

• 34:48Speaker 03

  With sources and nuance.

• 34:52Travis McElroy?

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 34:56Travis McElroy?

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 34:58Speaker 03

  Let's learn everything we learn about science and a bit of everything else, too. From super heavy elements to super heavy pumpkins.

• 35:04Travis McElroy?

  From quantum physics to the history of swearing.

• 35:07Speaker 03

  As well as special guests like Tom Scott and Hank Green.

• 35:10Travis McElroy?

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 35:12Speaker 03

  Me, Caroline Roper. Dr. Ella Hubber.

• 35:14Travis McElroy?

  And Tom Long.

• 35:15Speaker 03

  So join us next time where we will learn about.

• 35:19Speaker 04

  Everything.

• 35:25Travis McElroy?

  A video game right now.

• 35:26Griffin McElroy?

  Maybe you put on a podcast while grinding in an RPG.

• 35:29Speaker 04

  Or maybe you just don't want to hear that boss fight music one more time.

• 35:32Travis McElroy?

  Been there. I'm Maddie Myers.

• 35:34Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Jason Schreier.

• 35:35Speaker 04

  And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast.

• 35:40Travis McElroy?

  A podcast you can listen to while you do other things.

• 35:43Griffin McElroy?

  Like driving, or cooking, or playing video games.

• 35:48Travis McElroy?

  On Triple Click, we share our thoughts on the latest games.

• 35:50Griffin McElroy?

  And breaking news out of the video game industry.

• 35:53Speaker 04

  And we also talk about other stuff besides games.

• 35:56Griffin McElroy?

  So while you're doing something else, make sure to check out Triple Click.

• 36:00Speaker 04

  Listen on MaximumFun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.

• 36:06Travis McElroy?

  Hi, brothers McElroy. This year for Christmas, I'm getting both of my parents some video games on the Switch we have in the house. How far we've come. I've already figured out the games. The only issue is I bought them digitally, so there isn't actually anything I have for the video games to put under the tree. Just saying like, hey, I bought games that you can't unwrap them. They're digital feels awkward. Any solutions will be appreciated. That's from wrapping in wash shoe. I mean, I personally would love for my kid to hand me their homemade Snipper Clips box art. I think I would, that would really mean a lot to me if they made their own little

• 36:41Griffin McElroy?

  Pretty good.

• 36:42Travis McElroy?

  Snipper Clips box. Get a, you know, boring clothes box and just draw on it, the game art, and then wrap it up.

• 36:50Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 36:50Travis McElroy?

  And then they're gonna be really excited to get a little art from you. That's way better than what I was gonna say. Oh, Travis, now don't say that. You don't know. Well, I was gonna say, find an empty box with like a cool present, but it's just the box. And when you look at it, you're like, oh my God, you got me a cool. And then they open, it's just a note that's like, I got, I got you Animal Crossing.

• 37:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 37:07Travis McElroy?

  It's on you. It's on your Switch already. Yeah, it is worse. Yeah. Let you. Yeah, you encouraged me to say it after I admitted yours was better. I shouldn't have made you say that. I don't understand why you made me do that. Wasn't very kind. I had conceded.

• 37:22Griffin McElroy?

  You actually can't give anyone a digital gift. I'm so sorry. It's the one, it's the only thing. And I get it, like, holy crap. It would be so much easier and better for everyone if we could just say like, and also, I bought you a digital copy of that movie you like so much. And have it hit, but it, it hasn't hit ever.

• 37:44Travis McElroy?

  It's hard. You just can't do it, though. I mean, it can be nice, but it's. You can't.

• 37:47Griffin McElroy?

  You can't do it because it's not, it's not real and they don't own it is the only other thing because of the license. You have, you are being, the gift I've given you is I have temporarily because of my money allowed you to watch.

• 37:59Travis McElroy?

  Rented you a license to play snipper clips.

• 38:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, for now, until this store goes belly up and then who knows, who knows at that point.

• 38:07Travis McElroy?

  Well, that's why you download it and then you take your whole thing off the grid. And then they can't get it off.

• 38:15Travis McElroy?

  I gave you, I give you a fully jailbroken. That's why I'm downloading all my TikToks now. I'm just going through and just downloading every TikTok I can while there's still time. Yeah. And just saving them all. Then eventually I'll have my own offline TikTok. And the leisure, there would have been time now. I can scroll through every TikTok till I reach.

• 38:35Griffin McElroy?

  I am not worried about the ban, you guys. I will just get access to Travis's private stuff.

• 38:40Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, man.

• 38:41Griffin McElroy?

  Travis's special stuff.

• 38:42Travis McElroy?

  My TikTok is finite. The only new TikToks after all will be my own that I make.

• 38:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 38:47Travis McElroy?

  Where I'm just gonna take old TikToks and remake them in my own image.

• 38:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, there's not a digital gift you can give that's gonna hit, but you could give a small gift. Really, any, anything, anything. You could hand them a little capsule toy capsule and say Merry Christmas. Also.

• 39:04Travis McElroy?

  Just the capsule?

• 39:05Griffin McElroy?

  Also, I got you digital snipper clips. No, there would need to be a toy or prize or present inside. I give them a little, here's a candle. Okay. And also I got you snipper clips. Awesome. You can't do either one of those on their own. I got you a candle. Okay. Turn on your TV. There's snipper clips on it. Oh, cool.

• 39:23Travis McElroy?

  This is great. You could have given them a thing that they liked, but it's. You've given them a thing and also something that they like.

• 39:32Griffin McElroy?

  Present, you've tied the good present to a tangible object.

• 39:36Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. So you've tied an idea that they, a concept.

• 39:40Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 39:40Travis McElroy?

  The illumination of the candle is secondary. The value of the candle is its symbolic attachment to. You do have to be careful though, because sense memory is very strong and like everything I, every time I think about EverQuest, I immediately think of the Dave Matthews Band album Crash, which I listened to on a boombox after getting it for Christmas while playing EverQuest.

• 40:02Griffin McElroy?

  Shoo, Travis.

• 40:03Travis McElroy?

  So now the two.

• 40:04Griffin McElroy?

  Hold on, can I catch my breath from that story you just told about your childhood? I need a minute to recover from what you just sort of shared.

• 40:10Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, the two are inextricably linked in my mind.

• 40:13Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 40:13Travis McElroy?

  EverQuest and Dave Matthews.

• 40:15Griffin McElroy?

  All right, cool. Go on. Cool life.

• 40:18Travis McElroy?

  Thanks, thanks, brother. Happy candlelight to me.

• 40:21Griffin McElroy?

  Cool part of your.

• 40:22Travis McElroy?

  I don't still do that, Griffin.

• 40:24Griffin McElroy?

  No, I know, but cool part of your life.

• 40:26Travis McElroy?

  I have friends and family now that I spend time with and I've moved on. That was me at like 15.

• 40:32Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, so sad. I know, to think about.

• 40:33Travis McElroy?

  No, what? No, at the time it was very cool.

• 40:36Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, awesome, man, for sure.

• 40:38Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, we're sufficiently bummed. Um, you did stuff too. We've all had periods we're not proud of.

• 40:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, man, but I don't talk about it on our huge podcast, man.

• 40:48Travis McElroy?

  I guess I'm just more vulnerable and open to sharing who I am.

• 40:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I guess so.

• 40:53Travis McElroy?

  I'm not ashamed of who I used to be.

• 40:54Griffin McElroy?

  I am. I put him away. He's gone.

• 40:58Travis McElroy?

  I killed that Griffin.

• 41:00Griffin McElroy?

  I didn't kill him, but he sure ain't gonna get talked about on this podcast. Against my will. No way, thanks. Can't do a digital gift.

• 41:16Travis McElroy?

  I want a munch.

• 41:17Griffin McElroy?

  Squad.

• 41:20Travis McElroy?

  I want to munch.

• 41:22Griffin McElroy?

  Squad.

• 41:25Travis McElroy?

  Welcome to Munch Squad. This podcast is a podcast about finding the latest in grace of brand eating. I thought here, this late into the year, we'd be talking about the holidays, the Yule still.

• 41:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 41:35Travis McElroy?

  And then look who strides into the room yesterday.

• 41:37Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, no.

• 41:38Travis McElroy?

  Ready to get, just like absolutely upset the apple cart. I'm gonna open the image and I'll just like, and I think that this one speaks for itself.

• 41:53Travis McElroy?

  There it is. Wait, hold on. Guys. Hold on. Taco Bell Nuggets. Whoa. Yeah, it's happening. Whoa. They've coupled nuggets with maybe the most unhinged press release I've read all year. Can I just say, just, just first blush, first look, what's wild to me, Justin? They look like perfectly normal, maybe even above average nuggets. Yeah, they're gonna be, yeah, so let's hear about it. There's no like weird taco fried, we wrapping. Well, let's let him finish. Oh, boy. In a world where chicken nugget loyalty runs deep, Taco Bell is daring to push the

• 42:36Travis McElroy?

  boundaries of innovation yet again with the introduction of crispy chicken nuggets.

• 42:45Griffin McElroy?

  I appreciate that. Can we just say, first of all, when you try to slip them in there like bites or popcorn, popcorned.

• 42:51Travis McElroy?

  They're nuggets and it's a line of irresistible dipping sauces that's sure to challenge people's devotion to their typical favorites. Oh, my God, they're gonna lead me astray? I'm listening.

• 43:00Travis McElroy?

  They're gonna cause me, they're gonna cause me, oh, to, to be a philanderer to my chicken nugget commitments? If you're listening, Griffin, then let me let you hear this entirely distinct, yet universally familiar. The tender, all white meat chicken bites are marinated in zesty jalapeno buttermilk flavor. What? That's weird. Let's talk about that.

• 43:26Griffin McElroy?

  You don't have a spicy variant.

• 43:27Travis McElroy?

  This is spicy, it sounds like. That's weird, but listen, the chicken bites are marinated in zesty jalapeno buttermilk flavor. That shouldn't be a flavor. No. It should be jalapeno buttermilk. It shouldn't be the essence of jalapeno buttermilk. That's, those also seem like two things that would cancel one another out, right? Like if I ate jalapenos and I had a spicy mouth and then I drank some milk, it would cool that down. Well, though what they've done Travis is they've also breaded with a blend of breadcrumbs and crunchy tortilla chips. Huh. For the ideal balance of flavor and crisp that take the everyday chicken nugget to the next level.

• 44:06Griffin McElroy?

  I'm still, I'm still here, man. I haven't run for the door. I'm still here.

• 44:10Travis McElroy?

  But it is important to me to know if they're spicy because there is the word jalapeno in there. And if I took spicy. If I took my kids, this feels like a weird prank to pull on my children where I'd be like, you guys like chicken nuggets, right? Here you go. What's a nugget without an epic sauce pairing? In its culinary journey to find the perfect complimentary sauce, Taco Bell tested over a hundred sauces to curate not one, but three irresistible dip pairings. Introducing the exclusive new Hidden Valley Fire Ranch Sauce, a brand new signature Bell Sauce and a sweet and hot jalapeno honey mustard sauce.

• 44:52Griffin McElroy?

  You're not giving me a lot of safe road to walk here.

• 44:56Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 44:56Griffin McElroy?

  I'm so interested, but you are like, now that we've hooked you, do you want to eat poison, poison or poison for your?

• 45:03Travis McElroy?

  The star of the trio, and which I don't think they should say this, but the star of the trio is the new Hidden Valley Fire Ranch Sauce. A fiery twist. A Travis McElroy of sauces. Of a fiery twist on America's favorite ranch, inspired by the passion of Taco Bell and Hidden Valley Ranch fans. More than just a sauce, it's a groundbreaking innovation. Whoa. Blends the iconic flavors fans love from both brands. So words just don't mean anything anymore, huh?

• 45:29Griffin McElroy?

  Hot and ranch are.

• 45:31Travis McElroy?

  But you're throwing out groundbreaking innovation like it's like you just cured something or figured out how to reach the moon. You ready? Taylor Montgomery has, is going to lay it out for you like this. Not to be, not to be dishonest for granted, but here's, here's Taylor's read. As the inventors of nacho fries, Taco Bell is fully aware that reinventing an American classic with a Taco Bell twist is a responsibility we don't take lightly. Wow. But in a world dominated by chicken cravings, it was time to show the world how Taco Bell does chicken nuggets. Unexpected and undeniably bold, the crispy chicken nuggets deliver a crispier,

• 46:15Travis McElroy?

  more flavorful nugget experience and combined with the Hidden Valley Fire Ranch Sauce, we hope it will test people's devotion to their favorite nuggets. I am moved by the passion and dedication shown in that. Like that feels like a speech that like the president gives like climbing on top of the car to be like, the aliens are coming and you know what? It's time for Taco Bell to get into the chicken nugget game and I'm in it. I'm moved.

• 46:43Griffin McElroy?

  But when McDonald's did bratwurst for a little while and people would come in, it probably wasn't like super confusing because the name of the restaurant isn't Burger Clown or Hamburger Clown.

• 46:59Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:00Griffin McElroy?

  But when people go to Taco Bell, they're going to be confused about this extremely not taco or even taco adjacent.

• 47:06Travis McElroy?

  This is where I am really getting hung up now because they sell the fries and they sell the chicken nuggets and they sell the pizza. I'm worried that they're starting to lose touch with their like authentic Mexican. Oh no.

• 47:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, man. I mean, yeah, for sure. I think there's a danger there for sure.

• 47:34Travis McElroy?

  There is a danger of that. Can I tell you what's tripping me up? And I have just realized because it's been a long, long time since I've been to a Taco Bell or eaten Taco Bell. Yeah, why? Do you think that they have? Why? Just haven't, uh, there's not one near me. Um, do you think that there's ketchup available at Taco Bell?

• 47:54Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 47:57Travis McElroy?

  How confident are you in that?

• 47:59Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, are you confident, Griffin? That there's ketchup at Taco Bell? Let me check. Do they sell french fries?

• 48:04Travis McElroy?

  They sell nacho fries.

• 48:06Griffin McElroy?

  Remind me, remind me again. Do they sell, uh, french fried taters?

• 48:10Travis McElroy?

  Nacho fries. They have nacho fries.

• 48:13Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. Well, they, then they'll have the ketchup for them.

• 48:19Griffin McElroy?

  Justin, you look like you're Googling this and I need you to confirm if you're Googling this or not.

• 48:24Travis McElroy?

  No, don't dox my address to tell me where the closest. Don't send me Taco Bell. I don't want any Taco Bell. I'm just saying, it's not that far, Trav. It's far enough. It's like you could get there. I'm just demonstrating. If it was next door, Justin, if I lived next to, if I lived inside of Taco Bell, I would go get some right now. I'm at the Pizza Hut. I'm at the Travis house. I'm at the combination Taco Bell and Travis house.

• 48:48Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, I'm just trying to figure out if Taco Bell has ketchup.

• 48:56Travis McElroy?

  Can we call Taco?

• 48:57Griffin McElroy?

  Can we call timeout on the, yes, they have ketchup at Taco Bell. I see a picture of it now, next to the mild sauce and the fire sauce.

• 49:04Travis McElroy?

  There's ketchup. Say it with passion, Griffin. There is ketchup at the Taco Bell. You can go to Taco Bell right now and get the nuggets. So let us know what you think. I want to know how spicy they are, like on a, if you're a child, like imagine a child is eating it. Right. Yeah. You can text Travis that. No. Okay. Uh, here, let's one more question. Once a year, I do a Christmas show for some local theaters. We dress up as characters and deliver a little pre-show before the movie White Christmas. We have someone who dresses as Santa, Mrs. Claus, and Cousin Eddie. I dress up as Yukon Cornelius, who's popular enough but doesn't have the same depth as those other characters. I'm also not great at improv and I also find myself letting my fellow actors carry the performance when unexpected things happen. How can I stand

• 49:49Travis McElroy?

  out of the crowd and deliver a memorable performance? That's from Cornelius in Cincinnati.

• 49:53Griffin McElroy?

  That's so good. Such a good question. Thank you. Thank you for this.

• 49:56Travis McElroy?

  You are, I would love to pretend to be Yukon Cornelius for an hour. I feel like improv wise, it wouldn't be funny, but I would have the time of my life.

• 50:04Griffin McElroy?

  We need to establish who this is for the people who were not.

• 50:07Travis McElroy?

  Oh, we love silver and gold from the Rankin-Bass movie, Rudolph. Yeah. Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. He's the one who needs a prospector who says, "Bumble's pounce." That's very good, Justin. Here's the thing. One thing you gotta know about Yukon Cornelius, that's a haunted man. Because what we don't talk about a lot is, there were 12 of them when they started out on this track to find gold. He's the only one left. What has he been through? He falls off into a cliff with the bumble. What happens down there? We don't know. So while everyone else is improv-ing their scene, I, I want you to have just a dark backstory and have him stare off an empty eyed.

• 50:46Griffin McElroy?

  It sounds like you're doing that already, which is great.

• 50:48Travis McElroy?

  I just wanna be, I, I, I hate to challenge what you're saying, but I did watch the film recently.

• 50:53Griffin McElroy?

  Uh huh.

• 50:53Travis McElroy?

  And we do know what Yukon Cornelius did once the bumble and he fell off. Oh, that's right. Yes. What did he do? He pulled his teeth out, Justin. He pulled his teeth out, kids. Yukon Cornelius removed the bumble's one method of feeding himself. Really broke his spirit too. And then, and then get this, Yukon Cornelius is like, you're never gonna believe it, but bumbles are really easy to get along with and they wanna help us. I bet.

• 51:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 51:20Travis McElroy?

  I bet they do, Yukon. It's a shame I didn't find that out before I pulled all his teeth out. I still have my nails. I don't want you to pull those out too, Yukon. All of his teeth were flat like a cow's. He's, it turns out he's a leech. He said, I only eat carrots. And then he said, I don't eat carrot. You can't understand him anymore. Anyways, watch him put the star on the tree. He got in my way. Now mush him his food real good for him. He got my way while I was trying to accumulate wealth. I'm the good guy. Wait, hold on. Yukon Cornelius removed all of Bumble's teeth? Wait, I can't believe he would do that when he knows the only dentist on the planet. Yeah.

• 52:01Travis McElroy?

  That's the other thing that's twisted about Yukon Cornelius. He knows the one person that invented the idea of pulling teeth out.

• 52:07Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 52:07Travis McElroy?

  And this guy doesn't even go to that one guy he knows. I wanna see the deleted scene where after all is done, Hermie's like, Yukon, can I talk to you over here for a minute? Hey, man, what's that about? Like, you know, I'm trying to set up a business here, trying to establish myself. You couldn't float me some business by way? You couldn't be like, hey, Hermie, show them how good you are. Pull your teeth out. You trying to step to my territory, man? Pull your own teeth out, Hermie. Come on, man. You're such a great dentist. What are you doing? This is, do you see me out there trying to mine up silver and gold? No, I recognize that that's your thing. This is my thing. Come on, man. Show some respect. Yeah. So anyway, this is all really good stuff. Just use these jokes. It's no problem.

• 52:46Griffin McElroy?

  Just between every sentence, just go. Bumble.

• 52:49Travis McElroy?

  It's shot.

• 52:49Griffin McElroy?

  Sorry.

• 52:50Travis McElroy?

  In the back of the theater.

• 52:50Griffin McElroy?

  Sorry, I thought I saw a bumble.

• 52:52Travis McElroy?

  Sorry, sorry. Oh, when it gets dark and cold out there and you gotta eat your fellow. My, sorry, what were you saying, cousin Eddie?

• 52:58Griffin McElroy?

  I said to sleep within a bumble carcass once.

• 53:02Travis McElroy?

  You thought they smelled bad on the outside. They smell wonderful on the inside. I love doing it. I do it when I don't need to. I'm setting up an Airbnb inside a bumble. One of the Bs is for bumble. Okay, guys, listen, thanks for listening. Thanks for, uh, supporting us. Thanks for one more plug. Why I've orphaned so many bumbles.

• 53:24Griffin McElroy?

  The Candlelight's plug is important.

• 53:26Travis McElroy?

  Bit.ly forward slash Candlelight's Tickets 2024. Please go do that if you haven't done it. You can watch it until, I don't know, first week of January. January 4th.

• 53:36Griffin McElroy?

  Bit of a, bit of a slower year on ticket sales and Harmony House genuinely really could use some, some help, uh, funds wise, so.

• 53:45Travis McElroy?

  So if you've, even if you're extreme, if you want to hop back in there and, and kick in a few more bucks, that, that would be a killer. Or if you had a great time and you have friends who you know would love it, tell them about it. Share the link with people. Make sure they check it out. It's a great cause and a great show. Um, make sure to share it with folks. Um, also want to let you know Champions Grove, uh, 2025 packages are on sale now. That's the immersive gaming event, uh, that I did last year, doing it again this year at Ravenwood Castle in Hocking Hills, Ohio. You don't sleep on it. It's really fun. Thank you. You can go to championsgrove.com for all the information and get your packages there to come and hang out with us. May 23rd through the 26th. Uh, it's going to be a great time. Also, we got merch.

• 54:26Travis McElroy?

  If you haven't checked it out, macro merch.com, um, including some Candlelight's merch over there. 10% of merch sales this month are also going to go to Harmony House. So make sure you check that out. Get your fungal or merch before the season ends. We've also got a Miggy merch bundle over there with a mug and sticker for $25. So go check it out.

• 54:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yep. Um.

• 54:47Travis McElroy?

  Oh, we should also say, reminder, there's not going to be any new episodes, uh, the 24th through the 30th. Um, so.

• 54:55Griffin McElroy?

  For any of our shows.

• 54:55Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. So no, my brother, my brother and me next week. No macro shows, uh, but we'll be back in the new year.

• 55:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. So this is our last wish of the year for fungal or.

• 55:04Travis McElroy?

  Wow. Oh, yeah, I should have remembered to pull it.

• 55:07Griffin McElroy?

  Wow, you really didn't, did you? I wish. I wish.

• 55:13Travis McElroy?

  This is from Griffin?

• 55:14Griffin McElroy?

  I wish. I, you know what? I wish for Fungalor to get Fungalor's wishes heard.

• 55:25Travis McElroy?

  Wow. No, actually Griffin, that would cause a feedback loop.

• 55:28Griffin McElroy?

  I set him free. Fungalor, we're listening to your wish now. That's what you don't know about 20 Fungalor is in 20 Funga Live, he is gonna actually need something from you this time.

• 55:41Travis McElroy?

  Wow.

• 55:43Griffin McElroy?

  And saying that sentence out loud, I just realized I am gonna be pushing for 20 Funga Live. Uh, and that's-

• 55:48Travis McElroy?

  Oh wow. Okay, well that'll be a stirring way to return. Uh, my name's Justin McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy.

• 55:55Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Griffin McRoy.

• 55:57Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. This has been my brother, my brother, me, kiss your dad, square on the lips.