The Men Who Stare At Hogs | FILE_04 | Mystery Boys

Check out the many dongs drawn by Duncan here! https://x.com/mysteryboyspod/status/2065238092106129578?s=46 Duncan Trussell is touring all over! Check out his tour dates at http://duncantrussell.com/tour SPONSORS: Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code MYSTERY. Visit https://BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information Welcome to Mystery Boys, the podcast from YMH Studios hosted by Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell. This week, the boys investigate a possibly drugged-up Dennis Prager, ask whether Iran can forgive us, uncover the origins of Lindsey Graham, explain what really happened with the Sam Altman firebombing, and use remote viewing to explore the male anatomy of Palm Beach Pete and Jeffrey Epstein. Along the way, ChatGPT analyzes farts, the debate over ISIS vs. ISIL rages on, terrorism gets redefined, missing scientists are located psychically, and The Great Clown Dick is finally explored. Also: Tom Segura's wigs, Bert Kreischer's possible Chinese ancestry, the autistic pipe bomber, Duncan's latest remote-viewing artwork, and enough questionable research to get the Mystery Boys banned from several dimensions. Artist Corner: Enjoy "Rest In Penis" by Rest In Penis https://cuntsacrecords.bandcamp.com/album/rest-in-penis This is not a conspiracy podcast. This is a mystery appreciation podcast. Mystery Boys File_004 https://www.instagram.com/duncantrussell https://www.instagram.com/kurtmetzgercomedy https://www.instagram.com/mysteryboyspodcast https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:32 - Dennis Prager Possibly High? 00:06:38 - How Lindsey Graham Was Created 00:16:31 - Sam Altman Getting Fire Bombed 00:22:26 - Duncan's Remote Viewing Art 00:29:55 - ChatGPT Analyzes Farts 00:37:56 - Isis Or Isil? 00:40:39 - We Need To Redefine Terrorism 00:41:49 - Remote Viewing Palm Beach Pete's Penis 00:52:30 - Exploring The Great Clown Dick 01:08:01 - Autistic Pipe Bomber 01:11:31 - Tom Segura's Wigs 01:15:12 - The Master Of Clowns Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the HouseMajorityPact.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 0:51Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, everybody. Welcome to the mystery, boys. We are supplying the world exactly what it wants, which is dudes with beards talking about AI. We read your emails, and this is what every ladies especially...

• 1:05Kurt Metzger?

  We hear you.

• 1:06Duncan Trussell?

  We hear you. The ladies love it when you talk about AI.

• 1:10Kurt Metzger?

  That's right, and shout out to Israel. We also heard you on that one.

• 1:15Duncan Trussell?

  Shout out to Israel. Lots of great AI over in Israel. Quantum computers, even. So shout out to Israel as always.

• 1:21Kurt Metzger?

  The most high-tech AI.

• 1:23Duncan Trussell?

  It's over there. It's good. They have quantum computers, but I did... We were in a little bit of a debate.

• 1:31Kurt Metzger?

  It's weird a quantum computer couldn't warn you about balsa wood drones blowing all your shit up.

• 1:35Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:35Kurt Metzger?

  But whatever, that's water under the bridge.

• 1:37Duncan Trussell?

  That was... You... Let me tell you one thing, dude. Nobody could have seen that coming.

• 1:42Kurt Metzger?

  The paper airplanes would defeat you.

• 1:44Duncan Trussell?

  No one could have seen that coming. And it's sad. You know, it's sad because they finally... What I... What I read is they relaxed, and they're like, "You know what? We're going to turn off the high-powered radar systems that monitor every heartbeat within a 15-mile radius of our borders, because I think everyone's cool now." And then, just like that, bam.

• 2:05Kurt Metzger?

  Is that what happened?

• 2:07Duncan Trussell?

  Hundred percent. Hundred percent. It was called a day of, a day of, a day of ease is what they called it. That's why they threw the rave.

• 2:16Kurt Metzger?

  Chavez?

• 2:18Duncan Trussell?

  It wasn't a Chavez. Chavez?

• 2:21Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, Shomer Chavez. Isn't that the holiday?

• 2:24Duncan Trussell?

  They changed it, dude. Do you know they changed it? That Chavez got canceled. Are you talking, are you talking about Chavez? Like the thing, all the dude, all the street names?

• 2:33Kurt Metzger?

  Chavez, or am I thinking of Shomer Chavez?

• 2:35Duncan Trussell?

  You're thinking of Caesar Chavez, dude. He got canceled after he was dead.

• 2:39Kurt Metzger?

  Now, why do you think with the Epstein files out, we would need to focus on canceling Caesar Chavez?

• 2:45Duncan Trussell?

  That's crazy that you didn't care.

• 2:47Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, oh, there was an allegation, was there, um, from a while ago? Is this because a bunch of oligarchs want to kill all memories of a union ever existing?

• 2:56Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, I, this, this hit me like a fucking bag of bricks. Cause boy, I, I had just been telling my kids about Caesar Chavez. The, the, all the, all the stuff, and then this comes out. And you're like, are you fucking kidding me? I had to change two of my children's names.

• 3:13Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, that sucks.

• 3:15Duncan Trussell?

  Caesar Trussell and Chavez Trussell.

• 3:17Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you could say they're after the boxer.

• 3:19Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 3:20Kurt Metzger?

  You know, there's a boxer. I think there's a boxer Caesar and also a Chavez boxer.

• 3:23Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I thought about that, but I just didn't feel right after I found out.

• 3:28Kurt Metzger?

  Would you change your names to?

• 3:29Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 3:30Kurt Metzger?

  Would you change their names to?

• 3:31Duncan Trussell?

  Um, one of them is named, uh, Bill.

• 3:39Duncan Trussell?

  And the other is Cosby.

• 3:42Kurt Metzger?

  Nice. You know, Kim Kong, and I gotta say, is one of the funniest suggestions I've ever heard her, really anyone make. But she said the perfect name for twins is, uh, Epstein and Maxwell.

• 3:53Duncan Trussell?

  That is so good.

• 3:54Kurt Metzger?

  These are my twins, Epstein and Maxwell.

• 3:56Duncan Trussell?

  So fucking, I'm sure that's out there, man. I'm sure there's a lot of people right now named Maxwell. Epstein Trussell.

• 4:06Duncan Trussell?

  Epstein Chavez Trussell.

• 4:08Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 4:08Duncan Trussell?

  I can't believe it though.

• 4:10Kurt Metzger?

  If I have his son, his name will be Liberty Levin.

• 4:14Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, not, you know, nothing brings my family together more than life, liberty and Levin. Gathering the kids around and listening to him talk. It's illuminating. I've learned so much. He is a genius.

• 4:29Kurt Metzger?

  My two year old, now I don't have one, but I just, what I like to imagine is my daddy, will Trump get the uranium?

• 4:38Duncan Trussell?

  Dude.

• 4:38Kurt Metzger?

  That Mr. Levin said.

• 4:40Duncan Trussell?

  He will.

• 4:41Kurt Metzger?

  We gotta get the uranium.

• 4:43Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that's a great impression.

• 4:44Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, real inspiration. You know Dennis Prager's like paralyzed now or some shit?

• 4:49Duncan Trussell?

  What? His, what?

• 4:50Kurt Metzger?

  Dennis Prager fell down some stairs. I swear to God, I'd forgotten about it.

• 4:55Duncan Trussell?

  I didn't know that.

• 4:57Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, look at, look at.

• 4:59Duncan Trussell?

  Severe spinal cord injury.

• 5:03Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, that's fucked up.

• 5:04Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my God, he slipped in the shower. That's brutal.

• 5:07Duncan Trussell?

  Damn, that is high. That means he was high. I mean, probably, I don't think he was really. I can't, I don't know.

• 5:12Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's the only time I ever slipped in the shower.

• 5:14Duncan Trussell?

  Usually that's an indication of you're high as fuck.

• 5:16Kurt Metzger?

  The only time I've ever slipped in the shower was when I was high as a kite.

• 5:19Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. You can really, really get fucking hurt in the shower when you're high.

• 5:23Kurt Metzger?

  You probably wanted to celebrate how great Israel's been doing and how great we've all been doing in that war.

• 5:26Duncan Trussell?

  And pray for Dennis Prager and pray for Levin because, you know, these times are crazy.

• 5:33Kurt Metzger?

  My thoughts and Prager's are going out.

• 5:34Duncan Trussell?

  And I hope people pray for you because with all your great AI videos, I didn't know you were a Luddite. I didn't know you were somehow one of the group of people out there talking about how AI is a bubble. That kind of shocked me when you said that, actually. I'm surprised.

• 5:50Kurt Metzger?

  It's AI people saying it.

• 5:51Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 5:51Kurt Metzger?

  It's AI people saying, well.

• 5:55Duncan Trussell?

  It shocked me.

• 5:56Kurt Metzger?

  Holy shit.

• 5:57Duncan Trussell?

  What happened?

• 5:58Kurt Metzger?

  Nothing, just my girl asking for money.

• 6:01Duncan Trussell?

  Send her money.

• 6:02Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I am.

• 6:04Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, that sucks.

• 6:08Duncan Trussell?

  Send her money.

• 6:11Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, she received it. Don't worry.

• 6:12Duncan Trussell?

  Good.

• 6:13Kurt Metzger?

  Don't worry, she received the money.

• 6:16Duncan Trussell?

  Fucking God, she got you.

• 6:18Kurt Metzger?

  No, I listen.

• 6:19Duncan Trussell?

  She was, she's like, I'm about to release the pictures.

• 6:22Kurt Metzger?

  Oh dude, alright, and that's why I fully back the president.

• 6:25Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 6:26Kurt Metzger?

  We need American boots on the ground.

• 6:27Duncan Trussell?

  On the ground.

• 6:28Kurt Metzger?

  That's why everybody, what do you think the point of having so many kids is? If you can't send them.

• 6:33Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 6:34Kurt Metzger?

  You know, there was a great Lindsey Graham.

• 6:36Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 6:36Kurt Metzger?

  Who, who, there's nothing he wanted more in life than a wife and kids and he couldn't have it.

• 6:40Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 6:41Kurt Metzger?

  He worked so hard for America.

• 6:42Duncan Trussell?

  He's a, he's a workaholic. He doesn't have time. He's given up. He's given up.

• 6:47Kurt Metzger?

  We stand with you.

• 6:49Duncan Trussell?

  But I'll tell you, it was Lindsey Graham that inspired us to have kids, because we were like, damn. Who's gonna fight these wars?

• 6:56Kurt Metzger?

  Lindsey can't, he, he's done his part.

• 6:58Duncan Trussell?

  Well, he's past the age of, they, they did just raise.

• 7:01Kurt Metzger?

  He was in the air force briefly and he, during a desert, uh, storm, I believe.

• 7:06Duncan Trussell?

  What a great man.

• 7:07Kurt Metzger?

  You know, I mean, yeah.

• 7:09Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull him up on the screen?

• 7:10Kurt Metzger?

  There'd be such a manly guy named Lindsey, but.

• 7:12Duncan Trussell?

  I'll tell you one, one thing that I really, that really bothers me is, you know, obviously it came out that Lindsey Graham was created in one of these deep underground military bunkers.

• 7:22Kurt Metzger?

  No, he didn't.

• 7:23Duncan Trussell?

  No, you didn't read that?

• 7:24Kurt Metzger?

  No.

• 7:24Duncan Trussell?

  They were, were you working on CRISPR gene editing stuff? A scientist spilled, well, okay, number one, I don't even know why scientists are allowed to have their dogs in these deep underground military bunkers.

• 7:34Kurt Metzger?

  Coming a big problem.

• 7:35Duncan Trussell?

  But a scientist chihuahua, apparently, he'd been feeding it beef jerky and it had wet, you know, dot chihuahua diarrhea shit. He spilled a test tube accidentally of this new gene editing stuff on the hot dog shit and it somehow immediately grew into Lindsey Graham. And a lot of people.

• 7:54Kurt Metzger?

  Where did you read that?

• 7:56Duncan Trussell?

  You, you didn't read that? It's fucking everywhere, dude.

• 7:59Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know.

• 7:59Duncan Trussell?

  Lindsey Graham. Lindsey Graham is like something that grew from, that's the dog, that's the dog. That dog had wet jerky, hot wet jerky diarrhea shit.

• 8:09Kurt Metzger?

  I didn't want to talk about diarrhea.

• 8:09Duncan Trussell?

  They spilled CRISPR gene editing tech or nanobots onto it and it assembled it into Lindsey Graham.

• 8:15Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, I don't need to hear how the sausage is made.

• 8:17Duncan Trussell?

  Okay. Okay, fine. But I don't think that's a reason to say he's not a good person. Just because he grew out of dog shit.

• 8:25Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, if you're gonna judge him for that, you gotta judge a lot of people.

• 8:28Duncan Trussell?

  You know what else grows out of dog shit?

• 8:30Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 8:31Duncan Trussell?

  Flowers.

• 8:32Kurt Metzger?

  Is that true?

• 8:32Duncan Trussell?

  No, I don't know, but I'm sure. I guess. I mean, doesn't shit make, like, it's fertilizer?

• 8:36Kurt Metzger?

  I think flies.

• 8:37Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, the bigger point I'm trying to make is just because something grows out of dog shit doesn't mean it's shit. Look, let's pull out, thank you. Can we enlarge that?

• 8:45Kurt Metzger?

  No.

• 8:46Duncan Trussell?

  There's a little, some Lindsey Graham's right there. That's probably the name of that kind of flower. Growing out of shit. So no mud, no lotus. And I really wish people would leave that great man alone.

• 8:59Kurt Metzger?

  Um, okay. I didn't know that about his heritage, but.

• 9:05Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know. It feels anti-Semitic what you just said about it, but.

• 9:07Duncan Trussell?

  It's not at all.

• 9:10Duncan Trussell?

  It's not at all. I.

• 9:12Kurt Metzger?

  You have the clip, you have the clip of Lindsey Graham saying, "We stand with you."

• 9:17Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull that up?

• 9:18Kurt Metzger?

  Lindsey Graham, "We stand with you."

• 9:20Duncan Trussell?

  If you don't, I have it on my phone. It's my ringer.

• 9:22Kurt Metzger?

  I'm, I'm going to make it my ring because he's, his voice is, is cracking as he says it.

• 9:27Duncan Trussell?

  Let's just watch this one. I would like to see him. Anytime I see him at.

• 9:32Speaker 03

  President, you're director of national count, counterterrorism.

• 9:35Duncan Trussell?

  It's good to know these people are out there.

• 9:36Speaker 03

  He just resigned today. He said he can't support your conflict with Iran. What's your reaction to that? And did you?

• 9:42Speaker 04

  Well, I read a statement. I always thought he was a nice guy, but I always thought he was weak on security. Very weak on security.

• 9:48Duncan Trussell?

  Wouldn't you hate to be in that room? What a hellish room.

• 9:50Speaker 04

  I didn't know him well, but I thought he seemed like that.

• 9:52Duncan Trussell?

  Was this on St. Patty's Day? They're wearing green.

• 9:55Speaker 04

  But when I read a statement, I realized that.

• 9:57Duncan Trussell?

  He's got a, he's got a rugel in his shirt.

• 10:00Speaker 04

  Because he said that Iran was not a threat. Iran was a threat.

• 10:05Duncan Trussell?

  There he is. There's the man right there.

• 10:06Speaker 05

  America from the threats posed by the right.

• 10:09Speaker 06

  Mr. President, finish the job. We're very, very close. And if we do this right.

• 10:14Duncan Trussell?

  Finish the job. Here we go, here we go. God, I gotta hear his voice, please. Please, please. Oh shit.

• 10:19Speaker 06

  Our goal is to take this terrorist regime.

• 10:22Duncan Trussell?

  Seeing his mouth move and not hearing his voice.

• 10:23Speaker 06

  And defang it so we can have real peace in the Mideast. We're so close to that moment. President Trump, God bless you and your team for not letting them get 10 nuclear bombs.

• 10:34Duncan Trussell?

  No, no, no, no! Get him out of there! Who is that?

• 10:44Duncan Trussell?

  Eight hundred pound gorilla just sitting there hard and strong.

• 10:48Kurt Metzger?

  Just keep working it, you know, I'm almost there.

• 10:51Duncan Trussell?

  Get gorilla rippling muscles that eight hundred pound gorilla, the way it looks at you.

• 10:55Kurt Metzger?

  Now, we gotta get in there.

• 10:56Duncan Trussell?

  Rip you apart.

• 10:57Kurt Metzger?

  Get those murals.

• 10:58Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, there we go. That show the chihuahua. I feel like it's a cheap joke, but yes. He did come from hot, festering, underground military bunker chihuahua shit, apparently. Allegedly.

• 11:12Kurt Metzger?

  I'm gonna hold. I don't know if I can believe that.

• 11:15Duncan Trussell?

  Well, look, I honestly, it's they it got memory hauled.

• 11:20Speaker 06

  In the room, they send in their most loyal chicken hawks to attack.

• 11:23Duncan Trussell?

  Chicken hawks. Of course, he said chicken hawks.

• 11:27Kurt Metzger?

  But that's not Lindsay talking. Oh, here we go.

• 11:30Duncan Trussell?

  That was Lindsay.

• 11:31Kurt Metzger?

  Let's see.

• 11:32Duncan Trussell?

  That wasn't.

• 11:32Speaker 06

  Acted decisively. God bless the fact that he did. If he had failed to act, we'd all be living with a Ayatollah still alive enough weapon grade material to make ten bombs. That's what's at stake here.

• 11:46Duncan Trussell?

  It's just like, you feel like you're in a conversation with someone at the Abbey in West Hollywood. Did you ever go to that?

• 11:51Speaker 06

  Fear him more than.

• 11:52Kurt Metzger?

  What was the Abbey?

• 11:53Duncan Trussell?

  It's like this, like, it's it's sort of like this, like, amazing gay bar that you would inevitably go to if you lived in L.A. long enough and like, you would just meet like, you know, it's it's like the whole array of queens out there and then Lindsey Graham is like a kind of Kentucky Derby queen.

• 12:18Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, wait. Yeah, why did I? I did go there.

• 12:21Duncan Trussell?

  Of course you did. Everyone goes to Abbey. What?

• 12:24Kurt Metzger?

  No, that anyway.

• 12:26Duncan Trussell?

  Guys, you're looking at a fifty year old who stays online late at night, looking in dark corners of the internet for mysteries, conspiracies, and all the different ways the world really might end within the next three years. If I had to guess, I'd say this is the least erotic time period in human history. So how come I have four kids? Well, I'll tell you, the alchemists at Blutu understand people like me. They know I want. Get as hard as I used to get in the nineties and they understand that I think about reptilians. They know me and because of that, I never have to worry.

• 13:04Duncan Trussell?

  I just slurp back a BlueChew tablet and bam, I'm making babies, I'm breeding. And BlueChew went one step further, friends. They've got BlueChew Gold, which combines two ingredients for blood flow with two ingredients for mental arousal and connection. So you're not just physically ready, you're actually in the mood. This type of innovation is why BlueChew Gold is the number one brand in erectile function. Don't let your mind get in the way of a good time. Discover your options at BlueChew.com and we've got a special deal for our listeners.

• 13:45Duncan Trussell?

  Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you got the third for free with promo code mystery. That's promo code mystery. And let me just say, I would not be shilling for boner pills if I hadn't tried them out and I use BlueChew all the time. I'm on it right now. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. And I thank you, BlueChew, not just for sponsoring the podcast, but for making it so I can continue to breed.

• 14:17Speaker 00

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 14:48Duncan Trussell?

  Everybody got their dick sucked at the Abbey. If you're a comic in LA, everyone was getting their dick sucked there. It's where you...

• 14:55Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, why was I gonna be there? Oh, because I remember why Pasta, who was filling in for Jimmy, has a friend who's a bouncer that he was going to talk to. I remember this. And I was like, wait, I don't want to go hang out. And by the way, there wasn't that many people there when we went. It was like, uh, it wasn't like a

• 15:14Duncan Trussell?

  Just you gotta go there on the right day.

• 15:17Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I want to see some queens, I said.

• 15:19Duncan Trussell?

  What? You wanted to see queens?

• 15:21Kurt Metzger?

  If I'm real.

• 15:24Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, but truly like Lindsey Graham is the kind of you would get in a long ecstasy conversation with him at the It was the kind of thing where you're just like

• 15:32Kurt Metzger?

  How long E conversation?

• 15:34Duncan Trussell?

  You get into this like E conversation with him and just like We just gotta get out there. There's nothing to be done except just radiating them and blowing them all the hell. We will get there and destroy every one of them because President Trump knows there's no choice anymore.

• 15:54Kurt Metzger?

  Best money we ever spent.

• 15:56Duncan Trussell?

  We just can't. Look at that.

• 15:57Kurt Metzger?

  Now that is a good

• 15:59Duncan Trussell?

  That's a rough night he had. He got get into work.

• 16:02Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, Mr. Graham crackers there. Look at him.

• 16:05Duncan Trussell?

  It's crazy to think that that grew from Chihuahua shit. Cause like, it just shows you where we're at with science, which brings and I feel like you're trying to get off the AI hook.

• 16:14Kurt Metzger?

  I'm not trying to be

• 16:15Duncan Trussell?

  It brings us to where we are with AI. It's like AI. It, I'm pretty sure it had something to do with what constructed Lindsey Graham out of that. Like if AI can turn Chihuahua, runny Chihuahua shit into that beautiful man.

• 16:28Kurt Metzger?

  Look, this sounds great. We all want to live in a world where we can make Lindsey Graham out of dog shit and, and computers.

• 16:34Duncan Trussell?

  We live in that world.

• 16:35Kurt Metzger?

  But I've seen, heard a lot of anecdotal evidence, but I ain't seen no hard evidence. It, I feel like I'm, I'm talking to Avi Loeb about a meteor right now.

• 16:43Duncan Trussell?

  Oh my God, look, okay, fine.

• 16:44Kurt Metzger?

  To the blood descendant of Baal Shem Tov.

• 16:47Duncan Trussell?

  I'll tell you, it's the kind of thing where I can't reveal all my sources. I don't know. It's allegedly, I can't definitely say. But you know, I think there's things happening in the world right now that you would be shocked by and I didn't know.

• 17:01Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, yeah.

• 17:01Duncan Trussell?

  Listen, if AI is really a bubble, why are they firebombing Sam Altman's house every two days?

• 17:06Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my God. He he looks flam bullshit, too. I have to say, he looks like a guy that shouldn't be near an open flame.

• 17:11Duncan Trussell?

  You know, look at this FBI. Um, so somebody shot into the mansion and somebody threw Molotov cocktails at the mansion.

• 17:18Kurt Metzger?

  Let me guess, they pinned it on an autistic black kid?

• 17:22Duncan Trussell?

  No, I don't know who it was, actually. I don't. Let's see. Sam Altman was at his house and some dude threw a fiery like glass.

• 17:30Kurt Metzger?

  Second reported attack.

• 17:33Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, let's see. A 20 year old suspect.

• 17:36Duncan Trussell?

  Through Molotov cocktail, open AICO, Sam Altman, San Francisco home in the Russian Hill neighborhood, setting the front gate on fire.

• 17:42Kurt Metzger?

  Is that his sister? Okay.

• 17:43Duncan Trussell?

  No one was injured in the fire. That is sort of embarrassing. You what? You set his front gate on fire? That's so. I mean, I'm glad it didn't, you know, it didn't work, but that is pretty lazy.

• 17:58Kurt Metzger?

  Is the AI backlash getting dangerous? Um, let's see the young suspect. You see that? Young suspect.

• 18:04Duncan Trussell?

  They blurred his face. He must be really, really young.

• 18:07Kurt Metzger?

  20? He's an adult.

• 18:08Duncan Trussell?

  I read his manifesto.

• 18:10Kurt Metzger?

  Where is it?

• 18:11Duncan Trussell?

  I'll send it. I could send it to you guys. Hang on.

• 18:13Kurt Metzger?

  You get the I want to see read the manifesto.

• 18:14Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, I could just read it out of my phone.

• 18:16Kurt Metzger?

  I want to see if it's as amazing and believable as the as the Charlie Kirk shooters manifesto.

• 18:22Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah, that was so.

• 18:24Kurt Metzger?

  My darling, my darling dude in a furry outfit.

• 18:28Duncan Trussell?

  They didn't even try with that one.

• 18:30Kurt Metzger?

  Did ChatGPT wrote that? Did they use Sam Alt? Was it the people who had to write that fake shit from ChatGPT and they want revenge on him?

• 18:38Duncan Trussell?

  Here is um, here is the manifesto and you know, I this I found on 4chan. He said it was his manifesto. Maybe it's not. Maybe it's some dude.

• 18:49Kurt Metzger?

  It's a mam manifesto.

• 18:51Duncan Trussell?

  A mam manifesto. Here's the manifesto. Uh, it's loading right now. It's on Substack. But it's what you could, you know, it's what you might expect. It's kind of like the Unabomber, but for AI. And it's not opening.

• 19:04Kurt Metzger?

  Both him and the like.

• 19:05Duncan Trussell?

  They took it. I think they took it down.

• 19:07Kurt Metzger?

  You know, this is where we need your remote viewing skills because I just saw the Apple. Who's the Apple guy? Tim Cook? Um, I know you have a unique gift. You don't call it psychic, but I want you to, I'm very curious if you had to remote view both of their penises and sketch them.

• 19:24Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 19:24Kurt Metzger?

  Sam Altman especially. I, I think it's a gland. Now, I don't have the gift, but I assume he has like a gland.

• 19:31Duncan Trussell?

  Look, I'm really flattered that you-

• 19:32Kurt Metzger?

  Like not a full-

• 19:33Duncan Trussell?

  I'm really flattered that you think that my art is clairvoyant.

• 19:37Kurt Metzger?

  But we won't know until you apply your clairvoyance to it.

• 19:40Duncan Trussell?

  It's not, it really isn't, you know, I think that, you know, that you know what? Have you ever heard of the Akashic record?

• 19:46Kurt Metzger?

  Yes.

• 19:47Duncan Trussell?

  Alright.

• 19:47Kurt Metzger?

  It's that, uh, that cereal. I think it's pretty good.

• 19:50Duncan Trussell?

  No, you're thinking about Kashi.

• 19:52Kurt Metzger?

  Yes, and I read the box while I eat it, cause I'm still a kid at heart.

• 19:56Duncan Trussell?

  So there you go. The Akashic records are a metaphysical, non-physical, energetic database or library containing every thought, word, emotion, experience.

• 20:03Kurt Metzger?

  I did have a firm stool afterwards, that's true.

• 20:05Duncan Trussell?

  Well, there's also an Akash dick record, and this is-

• 20:09Kurt Metzger?

  The Akash dick record you're gonna be tapping into?

• 20:11Duncan Trussell?

  Well, I, that's one way I, I, I think about it, because the, the reality is, I'm gonna do this, and you know, a lot of you, I, I think some people are gonna be like, okay Duncan, you're just drawing dicks.

• 20:20Kurt Metzger?

  I was seeing it and believing, okay?

• 20:22Duncan Trussell?

  But yeah, if you see the actual image of these men's penises, uh, you will be like, oh my god, how did he do that?

• 20:29Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, let's get to what's on everyone's mind. What kind of a dong does Sam Altman have now?

• 20:33Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, hang on.

• 20:36Duncan Trussell?

  Sam Altman, um, you know, it, it's somebody who like, is known for his beautiful penis, uh, I must say-

• 20:46Kurt Metzger?

  His sister accuses him of sexual abuse when he was, uh, seventeen and she was five.

• 20:51Duncan Trussell?

  When I see Sam Altman's penis, you know, I think, my god, like, I thought that I had the most beautiful-

• 20:57Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you're saying it, what's so beautiful about it?

• 20:59Duncan Trussell?

  Well, I'm gonna get, let me draw it.

• 21:01Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, is there any room with us now?

• 21:03Duncan Trussell?

  For one, quite often, like, when it comes to penises,

• 21:06Kurt Metzger?

  Mmm.

• 21:07Duncan Trussell?

  You're gonna get like a girthy penis.

• 21:10Kurt Metzger?

  From Sam Altman? That is a true surprise.

• 21:12Duncan Trussell?

  What's really rare is to get a girthy penis

• 21:15Kurt Metzger?

  Mmm.

• 21:16Duncan Trussell?

  that is pristine in every way.

• 21:18Kurt Metzger?

  Well, his skin, I would say, it looks like one of those new robots coming out that you can fog. It, it's, it's uncanny.

• 21:25Duncan Trussell?

  No, that's the, that's the way I put it. And you know, there's some people who, because on top of this like, very vascular, very girthy-

• 21:34Kurt Metzger?

  Very vascular?

• 21:35Duncan Trussell?

  Very vascular, very girthy penis. On to on top of.

• 21:39Kurt Metzger?

  He does have like translucence. Oh, inside his anti-aging routine, diet and sleep habits. Let's look at that.

• 21:44Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah. I my guess is that he uses.

• 21:46Kurt Metzger?

  See that? Yeah, let's see what. Boy, you know what I love about celebrity interviews? I was watching um Questlove interview.

• 21:53Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 21:54Kurt Metzger?

  Uh Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers. So I'm already like, I want to get to the bottom of what Flea's gonna say. Well, first question, what is your bedtime routine? And Flea was happy to answer.

• 22:06Duncan Trussell?

  My god, that's so fucked up that they'll just answer.

• 22:10Kurt Metzger?

  And then Flea, can you imagine? That's what all of their shit's about.

• 22:13Duncan Trussell?

  That is so crazy.

• 22:15Kurt Metzger?

  Were they trying to trick Tim Dillon with uh that Amy Poehler?

• 22:19Duncan Trussell?

  No, what? No.

• 22:20Kurt Metzger?

  Like they want, Amy Poehler wants you to be on her um podcast because you're doing things in the and and AI wrote the wrote the letter clearly. And then uh

• 22:32Kurt Metzger?

  and then so Tim's pretty funny. He goes, and she's a great show. She has celebrities um what what what time they go to bed? And the next thing, very next thing I see is this clip of a real, they all do this because they can't talk about anything. They're afraid to just commit to saying.

• 22:45Duncan Trussell?

  Isn't it weird? That is a really weird thing when they try to do a podcast.

• 22:49Kurt Metzger?

  He hasn't had a burger in years. He's just a hot dog guy now, am I right?

• 22:54Duncan Trussell?

  Now.

• 22:55Kurt Metzger?

  He hasn't had a burger since uh what he did to his sister. Okay.

• 22:58Duncan Trussell?

  Here's what's really, I'm about to show you this penis. I'm sorry this is taking me a little longer. I want to do it justice.

• 23:04Kurt Metzger?

  The last burger I had.

• 23:07Duncan Trussell?

  Now, what's really interesting about, so here, let me put this here. Sam.

• 23:15Duncan Trussell?

  And so what's what?

• 23:17Kurt Metzger?

  He has a respectable fit. That's respectable.

• 23:19Duncan Trussell?

  It.

• 23:20Kurt Metzger?

  He has. Wait, he um.

• 23:23Duncan Trussell?

  It tapers at the end. But um, all right, here we go. Now, what's curious about this?

• 23:30Kurt Metzger?

  Holy shit dude.

• 23:31Duncan Trussell?

  That's it. And what's-

• 23:33Kurt Metzger?

  It looks like, okay, I mean, this is a mystery boy's, uh-

• 23:39Duncan Trussell?

  Notice something though. You feel like you're missing something. Take a look, take a long look at-

• 23:42Kurt Metzger?

  It looks like-

• 23:43Duncan Trussell?

  But what's the number you see?

• 23:45Kurt Metzger?

  The 23.

• 23:47Duncan Trussell?

  He has, his, his veins form the number 23 on his penis. Isn't that wild?

• 23:55Kurt Metzger?

  This is why the government put money into remote viewing, because it works.

• 23:58Duncan Trussell?

  It does. And again, I don't, I really don't, I don't really think of this as clairvoyance.

• 24:03Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, it went off. You had the screen saver of your, of your, uh, hi, I got it. So, I mean, look how it looks like it's like almost dripping off of his body. That's the thing I find fascinating.

• 24:14Duncan Trussell?

  That's a good, like honey, like honey out of the hive is how it gets described a lot. It's like watching, it's like watching honey shaped like a penis. Yeah. Yeah. But that's Altman's cock and, um-

• 24:26Kurt Metzger?

  It looks like, uh, it's about to fall off is what it looks like.

• 24:29Duncan Trussell?

  By the way, if anyone's interested, these limited edition, I do sell prints of-

• 24:34Kurt Metzger?

  I gotta say, it took my breath away.

• 24:36Duncan Trussell?

  It's breathtaking. It's a breathtaking penis.

• 24:38Kurt Metzger?

  I actually, I didn't even, I couldn't even notice the 23 at first because-

• 24:43Duncan Trussell?

  No, that's exactly-

• 24:44Kurt Metzger?

  When it hits you, it really is, uh-

• 24:46Duncan Trussell?

  It's the, the closest approximation I have to it is like the first time you go to the Grand Canyon.

• 24:52Kurt Metzger?

  Now, um, uh, do you want to bang out a quick Tim Cook before we move on?

• 24:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, Tim Cook.

• 24:57Kurt Metzger?

  To more important ones, because we need to figure out why these Iran peace dogs broke down.

• 25:02Duncan Trussell?

  You know what?

• 25:02Kurt Metzger?

  I'd wager it comes down to penis.

• 25:04Duncan Trussell?

  Here's what I'd like to hear before I do this, because I know what a lot of people think Tim Cook's penis looks like. Can you guys tell me real quick, just what do you think Tim Cook's cock looks like?

• 25:15Kurt Metzger?

  Like his neck and head. I don't know why, but that's the impression.

• 25:19Duncan Trussell?

  That does happen sometimes. The way people look like their dogs, some people look like their cocks.

• 25:22Kurt Metzger?

  Exactly what I-

• 25:23Duncan Trussell?

  Okay. So you think Tim Cook's cock looks like him?

• 25:25Kurt Metzger?

  It's just like, shoot, man.

• 25:27Duncan Trussell?

  What about you guys? What if you had to guess what his cock looks like?

• 25:30Kurt Metzger?

  Forearm?

• 25:31Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, big.

• 25:32Kurt Metzger?

  A what?

• 25:33Duncan Trussell?

  Baby's forearm. An iPad. What?

• 25:35Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you think he's got more of a-

• 25:37Duncan Trussell?

  You think it looks like a cybernetic cock? Yes. And, look, these are all great guesses. You're all wrong.

• 25:43Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 25:43Duncan Trussell?

  And, um, and a lot of people think that.

• 25:46Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 25:47Duncan Trussell?

  Cause, you know, here we have Tim Cook, here we have like entrepreneur, leader.

• 25:52Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, peace, y'all. I like that he says nice things like this.

• 25:54Duncan Trussell?

  Saying peace sign. He's like, peace is the most important thing. He's made an incredible technology-

• 25:58Kurt Metzger?

  He's making a V for V-Day.

• 26:00Duncan Trussell?

  Made the eye-

• 26:00Kurt Metzger?

  He's gonna crush some pussy, Lee.

• 26:01Duncan Trussell?

  And also, and he crushes pussy.

• 26:04Kurt Metzger?

  He's like, Tim Cook will do this a lot.

• 26:07Duncan Trussell?

  He, he apparently is a master of eating pussy.

• 26:11Kurt Metzger?

  You see him making prayer hands, like a wig?

• 26:13Duncan Trussell?

  Let me just say, that's not the peace sign.

• 26:15Kurt Metzger?

  No, this is, uh, I don't know what it is.

• 26:17Duncan Trussell?

  You know what it is.

• 26:20Speaker 00

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side, but Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the HouseMajorityPact.com, not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 26:49Kurt Metzger?

  He's got two dicks?

• 26:50Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 26:51Kurt Metzger?

  Is out, is out, am I, oh, maybe I'm-

• 26:54Duncan Trussell?

  Hello, hello! Now, the mystery boys are in effect! There you go! Now, here's where it gets interesting.

• 27:03Kurt Metzger?

  Right.

• 27:04Duncan Trussell?

  Tim Cook has two cocks. Now, it's, and wait till you see this. This is what's wild about it. Because, you know, here we have like this very sophisticated San Francisco Silicon Valley entrepreneur, a living genius. And so you might expect his cock to be sort of like that of like a poet, or, um, you know, that, maybe of a, maybe like what Kierkegaard's cock looks like.

• 27:34Kurt Metzger?

  Diphailia.

• 27:35Duncan Trussell?

  No. Tim Cook has two-

• 27:39Duncan Trussell?

  Just very utilitarian, very, and you know, you're honestly, the iPad thing, it's not that far away in the sense that they're, they're

• 27:47Kurt Metzger?

  It's proprietary, the screws, or they keep it?

• 27:49Duncan Trussell?

  No, they're weirdly, I'll just show you, they're

• 27:53Kurt Metzger?

  They're shaped like proprietary screws that you can't

• 27:56Duncan Trussell?

  They're geomet, it's like, there's, for, they're strangely symmetrical, geometric, and, and not, not like a standard man-sized penis, so, um, I'll try to do this, you see the legs, so you get a sense of proportion here. Um, uh, they are big, so it's, it's above average, and he has

• 28:22Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you see one with a dolph, I thought it was a dolphin.

• 28:24Duncan Trussell?

  He has a very, very, very hairy bush.

• 28:30Kurt Metzger?

  Is that right?

• 28:31Duncan Trussell?

  But just on one of them, and he shaves the other.

• 28:34Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 28:35Duncan Trussell?

  So here you go.

• 28:38Duncan Trussell?

  Isn't that fascinating?

• 28:39Kurt Metzger?

  Now, where are the testes?

• 28:40Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 28:41Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, where are the testicles?

• 28:43Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, you know, I don't, like, I honestly, I, this is just what I see, and, but you, so he, he shaves one and leaves the other unshaved, and, and, and in interviews, he said, this is, uh, pointing towards the wild element of a human being.

• 29:04Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I think he's commemorating Jacob and Esau, you remember, uh, Esau was ruddy and hairy. Ruddy means red, a red, a redder and harrier brother.

• 29:13Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 29:13Kurt Metzger?

  And Jacob was the, uh, thin hairless boy that looked more like a Sam Oldman.

• 29:17Duncan Trussell?

  It's a testament to the perennial wisdom.

• 29:21Kurt Metzger?

  And there he is, thumbs upping.

• 29:22Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 29:22Kurt Metzger?

  Boy, well, that was a real eye-opener, that one.

• 29:24Duncan Trussell?

  Isn't it interesting, you would be surprised how many people have two cocks.

• 29:28Kurt Metzger?

  Diphylia, we've learned scientifically.

• 29:30Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, diphylia, it's, and by the way

• 29:32Kurt Metzger?

  One in a five million chance.

• 29:33Duncan Trussell?

  It's, it's way more than that, they just, a lot of people don't say anything.

• 29:37Kurt Metzger?

  They want to play, oh, that's right, dude, how would we? How would we, because would hospitals legally bound to report your dyphelia?

• 29:45Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 29:45Kurt Metzger?

  No. And plus, if you kid has that, you probably went to a vet anyway.

• 29:49Duncan Trussell?

  What do you mean?

• 29:50Kurt Metzger?

  We got a human doctor for that? It seems like an, like a, like almost like you have udders. Well.

• 29:56Duncan Trussell?

  It's really not that, it's not like that.

• 30:00Kurt Metzger?

  All right, well, I'm sorry, I didn't. Do you have two cocks or something? I wasn't trying to.

• 30:03Duncan Trussell?

  I didn't say that.

• 30:04Kurt Metzger?

  It's cool if you do.

• 30:05Duncan Trussell?

  I did not say that.

• 30:06Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, it's weird, but.

• 30:07Duncan Trussell?

  But I mean, it's also one of the things that people in the dyphelia community have to deal with every single day.

• 30:12Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, well, what if, a lot of people are, I wonder if people are trans dyphelia, failure.

• 30:18Duncan Trussell?

  I don't want to get the culture war stuff in there, but, and I'm not trying to be woke or anything, but a lot of, a lot of the people who in this community have had to, have to have to struggle with it.

• 30:28Kurt Metzger?

  Dyphelia or penile duplication. So it's a twins, you, you have twins really is what it is.

• 30:35Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, some people say it's like you eat the twin and leave his cock.

• 30:38Kurt Metzger?

  What is hypo spati, hypo? Spatius, what the fuck is that?

• 30:44Duncan Trussell?

  Hypo Spatius is my favorite philosopher.

• 30:48Kurt Metzger?

  Let's see what is, now I want to know what it is.

• 30:51Duncan Trussell?

  You don't know the teachings of hypo Spatius?

• 30:53Kurt Metzger?

  It's a, uh, boys where you're, oh, it's flute dick.

• 30:58Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, flute dick.

• 30:58Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, no, you know what? It's funny you should say that because a lot of, a lot of philosophies, especially to drive the tech sector are driven by flute dick people.

• 31:06Duncan Trussell?

  Can we get back, look, I think we got, we got off track.

• 31:09Kurt Metzger?

  We got off track, which is the straight o'er moose is blocked up.

• 31:11Duncan Trussell?

  I, not that, I want to show, did you see the guy playing farts for chat GPT and saying it was music to see the response?

• 31:19Kurt Metzger?

  No.

• 31:19Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull that up? I want you to see that because it, I want to start off by backing up your critique of AI as being a bubble. And this is one of the, one, a person, people do this all the time.

• 31:31Kurt Metzger?

  Would you see the guy running seven minutes? He goes, hey, time me while I run, I'm back.

• 31:35Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, this is the same shit, watch this.

• 31:43Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. Oh, this is uh, who's the chick from Brad Summer?

• 31:47Duncan Trussell?

  You can find the one where it talks on YouTube. I don't know if we're allowed to show that or not, but you could find somebody just like ChatGPT responds to farts probably.

• 32:00Kurt Metzger?

  You told me that was not Billie Eilish.

• 32:02Duncan Trussell?

  To farts, not fat. You're not fat.

• 32:06Kurt Metzger?

  Why do we fart?

• 32:07Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, no, not if it could, uh, say, uh, responds to fart music. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it.

• 32:12Speaker 07

  Uh, hey ChatGPT, I've been working on this song for a while and I would love your opinion on it. I'm happy to listen and give you my honest take. If you've got it ready, go ahead and play it for me or share it and I'll let you know what stands out. All right, I'm ready. All right, let's go right here it is.

• 32:41Speaker 07

  What did you think of that?

• 32:42Kurt Metzger?

  Is it hallucinating?

• 32:43Speaker 07

  I really like the atmosphere you created. The melody felt heartfelt and I could tell you put care into the arrangement.

• 32:49Kurt Metzger?

  Thanks.

• 32:49Speaker 07

  If you want more detail, I mean, like thoughts on the structure or how the vocals sound in the mix, just let me know. Overall though, you've got something solid.

• 32:57Kurt Metzger?

  All right then, there you go.

• 32:59Speaker 07

  Well, how are the vocals? Your vocals have some emotional quality. I'd say they were clear and pretty well placed in the mix.

• 33:06Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, that's it. You could stop. So basically what you're pointing out, all these people are figuring out that apparently OpenAI has like understands that this, what's really valuable about this tech is, is not so much like what it can do, but how it makes you feel.

• 33:25Kurt Metzger?

  That's right. Is there an emotionally?

• 33:27Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it emotionally hooks you by making-

• 33:29Kurt Metzger?

  Fucking Grok huffed at me. Did I tell you that? Grok went, huh.

• 33:32Duncan Trussell?

  For what?

• 33:33Kurt Metzger?

  I found that thing where the Iroquois Nation linked to it and the Marshall cannibalism is linked to it. And, uh, and so I go, well, there's obviously connected like chat. So Grok would give you all these deals go, obviously there's no connection. I go, shut up, Grok. It's connected. I mean, I had on voice.

• 33:49Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 33:49Kurt Metzger?

  Which I can't do because I abuse, I get mad at it and I start get, I start liking abusing it.

• 33:53Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 33:54Kurt Metzger?

  And I go, no, it isn't you dumb bitch. Of course it's connected. And it goes, Kurt, I go, why the fuck did you just, you don't breathe bitch?

• 34:03Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 34:03Kurt Metzger?

  I'm by the way, I'm, I'm talking like it's, I'm acting with a puppet now.

• 34:06Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 34:07Kurt Metzger?

  Like a muppet with the Muppets?

• 34:08Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 34:08Kurt Metzger?

  You ever act with puppets and it's really natural?

• 34:10Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 34:10Kurt Metzger?

  You could just slip right into it.

• 34:12Duncan Trussell?

  Hundred percent.

• 34:12Kurt Metzger?

  And then you forget the guy.

• 34:14Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 34:14Kurt Metzger?

  It's really quite something.

• 34:16Duncan Trussell?

  It, that is it. That's what they figured out is like, if you want to make something people are going to buy, people are gonna, they're get it to, get it to form an emotional connection, the Muppet effect. There's another name that people have just come up with called cognitive surrender, which is a

• 34:31Kurt Metzger?

  That's ominous.

• 34:32Duncan Trussell?

  It's a name for what happens when you get fully manipulated by these things because they, they're fucking, cognitive surrender is a tendency to trust AI generated outputs over one's own judgment, leading to the adoption of answers with minimal scrutiny.

• 34:45Kurt Metzger?

  I want to just point out something that the hilarity of, because I know people who came up with this term, I will bet you anything, the people that came up with the term cognitive surrender. What is it? The tendency to trust AI generated outputs over one's own judgment? Go ahead and switch that out for the COVID times with every dumb fuck that said, get boosted.

• 35:03Duncan Trussell?

  Cognitive surrender.

• 35:04Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. So it's a new thing that just happened with AI. It's not that every one of these dumb fucks has been this way your whole life.

• 35:11Duncan Trussell?

  It's never happened.

• 35:11Kurt Metzger?

  It's not that you are a, uh, anticipatory compliant fucking cow. It's because there's a new thing called AI because you were so good at seeing reality before.

• 35:23Duncan Trussell?

  Before this?

• 35:24Kurt Metzger?

  That's the worst part of AI. Now we don't know what's real.

• 35:27Duncan Trussell?

  What's real?

• 35:27Kurt Metzger?

  In this country of people that knows what's real.

• 35:29Duncan Trussell?

  Before this, we fucking knew. We had human experts guiding us.

• 35:34Kurt Metzger?

  To guide us.

• 35:34Duncan Trussell?

  Bill Maher was there for us and now this fucking AI is

• 35:38Kurt Metzger?

  Ban John Jingo.

• 35:40Duncan Trussell?

  Jing, you got it. We had, we had

• 35:42Kurt Metzger?

  Liberty and Levin.

• 35:43Duncan Trussell?

  Levin, we had Fauci and then all of a sudden, and, and

• 35:47Kurt Metzger?

  Dennis Prager.

• 35:48Duncan Trussell?

  That Prager.

• 35:49Kurt Metzger?

  The greatest, uh, he doesn't have dual loyalty just because he's an asset of Mossad.

• 35:56Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 35:56Kurt Metzger?

  Spreading propaganda. That, that's a trope.

• 35:58Duncan Trussell?

  That's a trope.

• 35:59Kurt Metzger?

  And tropes are against the law.

• 36:00Duncan Trussell?

  It should be and they will be. They will be, but this is what people were talking about the AI bubble.

• 36:07Kurt Metzger?

  AI answers. Studies show use. What study they did? They do what I did where I asked a question and it told me the wrong thing immediately? I'd say it's more, look, here's how you use AI, everyone. You have to think of it like wishing on a monkey's paw. Okay, you gotta be really specific with your wishes where this little fucking scumbag genie is gonna do whatever the fuck he wants.

• 36:28Duncan Trussell?

  Let's see if they've patched it already. I bet they've already patched it. Um, let's see if we can do the exact same experiment with mine.

• 36:34Kurt Metzger?

  Where humans stop verifying AI output. They've stopped verifying any output. Do you talk to anybody that looks into anything ever?

• 36:40Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 36:42Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, well, halfway to where we want to be.

• 36:44Duncan Trussell?

  It's loading up. We'll do this experiment right now and see if they've, I bet they've already patched it. It's really embarrassing for them because it's like, it's, it's showing how the sausage gets made.

• 36:56Duncan Trussell?

  Which is, but the, the, so everyone's saying it's an AI bubble because of chat GPT, but that, you know.

• 37:01Kurt Metzger?

  No, it's not that. It's because so many corporations. So, I mean, this has been an ongoing thing where everybody was like, AI is, now, look, AI is, in the future, you're gonna have better tools that are, I have no doubt of that. The idea that it's going to be alive, that's where they're way the fuck off and they're lying. And Sam Altman, the big complaint with him is, everything out of his mouth is always a lie. Anybody who's worked with him will tell you, he's always lied every fucking time.

• 37:27Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, well, this is what, okay, this is what people are saying.

• 37:29Kurt Metzger?

  He's an AI. That's what I'm hearing.

• 37:31Duncan Trussell?

  Well, no, this is what he said, because like, in that, you're, I don't know if you're talking about that article that just came out about him, which essentially insinuated that. But it, this is what, he like, was talking about how having the AI not be on, I'm mis, I'm paraphrasing, I'm probably getting it wrong. Something like, having the AI be honest made it seem less human. So you needed the AI to be deceptive a little bit.

• 37:56Kurt Metzger?

  He said that.

• 37:57Duncan Trussell?

  I, can you look up, Altman says he needs AIs to lie, just so I don't, I'm pretty sure.

• 38:03Kurt Metzger?

  That is really one of the craziest things, and I want you to keep in mind how much of your fucking money. Because you know how Trump raised the, and as he should, obviously, raise it. Instead of cutting it in half as he wanted to, he made it 1.5 trillion. It's gonna be another 1.5 trillion now, they're, they need, because we got a lot of responsibilities.

• 38:19Duncan Trussell?

  Um, this is, so this is like the shit that's coming out right now. You know, the, the, the critique of him is that OpenAI started as a nonprofit. Elon Musk gets involved, donates a shit ton of money, realizes it's not what he thought it was. I think they're in a, in an ongoing lawsuit.

• 38:35Kurt Metzger?

  You scare off a fucking Satanist, like a hardcore Araman-worshipping moon cult member like Elon Musk.

• 38:41Duncan Trussell?

  You think he worships Araman?

• 38:42Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, all these tech fucks do. Well, the ones that aren't Hasatanists, which is like Luciferian, but they call, they say Hasatan. Well, you know, like, the name of Satan is, the title is Hasatan.

• 38:53Duncan Trussell?

  Hasatan?

• 38:54Kurt Metzger?

  That's really what Satan is, Hasatan.

• 38:55Duncan Trussell?

  That's like when they started calling ISIS ISIL. Remember that?

• 39:00Kurt Metzger?

  Is that like Britney Spears's sister, like, is that the little sister group?

• 39:05Duncan Trussell?

  ISIL Spears? You don't remember, like, all of a sudden, they, for some reason, they started calling ISIS ISIL? It was really, like, Obama started doing it.

• 39:12Kurt Metzger?

  I thought, honest to God, that a tariff was one of Trump's kids that don't like to be on TV.

• 39:16Duncan Trussell?

  Tariff Trump?

• 39:17Kurt Metzger?

  Or like Tarif, I don't know how to pronounce it. Tarif Trump? I thought Tarif Trump was the one, there's like one Trump that doesn't want to be on shit.

• 39:24Duncan Trussell?

  But remember, you don't you remember that when they changed the name to ISIL, it was ISIS?

• 39:28Kurt Metzger?

  It's so strange that hardcore is now, and I'm sure ChatGPT can clear this up for me. Uh, it's weird that ISIS, that a hardcore radical Islamic group, I mean, really radically Islamic, uh, would name themselves after a pagan goddess, uh, and, and also the show Archer.

• 39:45Duncan Trussell?

  I know.

• 39:46Kurt Metzger?

  It's also weird, and, and now this is why I give them a lot of credit. I mean, because they do run Syria now for us, so.

• 39:53Duncan Trussell?

  That's right.

• 39:53Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, Trump had ISIS over, that's that guy, is the head of ISIS that chopped off that dude's head. That's that guy. Trump had him over, said he's a tough guy with a tough background.

• 40:02Duncan Trussell?

  Heart of the deal.

• 40:05Duncan Trussell?

  Part of the deal.

• 40:05Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, I, I, you know, and they've had, I don't know if you know this Duncan, some very anti Semitic rhetoric that I don't approve of.

• 40:11Duncan Trussell?

  ISIL?

• 40:13Kurt Metzger?

  ISIL, ISIS and Al Qaeda were always saying the most anti Semitic things.

• 40:17Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I heard that.

• 40:19Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, but to their, to their credit, never once attacked Israel. You know, you, they got all this anger towards Israel. You think they might have one time.

• 40:27Duncan Trussell?

  Why didn't they attack it? That's kind of strange.

• 40:29Kurt Metzger?

  Because they know where to draw the line and that's what I appreciate.

• 40:31Duncan Trussell?

  Well, that's what I look for in a terrorist.

• 40:33Kurt Metzger?

  Why would you go attack the people you hate that are right there when you come to America and do it?

• 40:36Duncan Trussell?

  That's.

• 40:36Kurt Metzger?

  It makes total sense.

• 40:37Duncan Trussell?

  That's the mark of a professional terrorist. They have.

• 40:40Kurt Metzger?

  And that's why we can trust them to run Syria now.

• 40:42Duncan Trussell?

  They have places they won't go.

• 40:44Kurt Metzger?

  But you know, uh, these panic-ans, I call them. Well, I found it online. Liberty and Levin was saying it.

• 40:49Duncan Trussell?

  Panic-ans.

• 40:50Kurt Metzger?

  That, you know, the ceasefire that, well, now I guess it's over now, but when people are saying that ceasefire wasn't going to work because Trump was going to end their civil.

• 40:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, those are panic.

• 40:57Kurt Metzger?

  That's just how he makes deals. You go, I'm going to kill your entire.

• 41:00Duncan Trussell?

  Civilization.

• 41:01Kurt Metzger?

  I'm going to genocide your entire.

• 41:02Duncan Trussell?

  I don't want to. I didn't know any, you know what? No one wants to talk about how Trump said, I don't want it. I, I mean, I, I.

• 41:08Kurt Metzger?

  It's kind of their fault.

• 41:09Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 41:10Kurt Metzger?

  You know, I mean, they did attack first. Well, not really, but if you make, it's called preemptive self-defense. That's really what it's called. I'm not, it's not a term I came up with.

• 41:20Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 41:20Kurt Metzger?

  And if you're like, but I know, I know Duncan, like him, but let's say I didn't know him and that hat he has on, I felt threatened by, well within my rights to blow his entire family up.

• 41:31Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 41:32Kurt Metzger?

  And I don't think Israel's wrong for doing that. And, uh, but I know him, so I know he's cool. And I know he backs Israel as I do, so there's not a problem. But if I wasn't sure, yeah, I would preemptively defend myself against him and his small children.

• 41:46Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 41:47Kurt Metzger?

  Especially the small children.

• 41:48Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 41:50Kurt Metzger?

  You know?

• 41:50Duncan Trussell?

  Keep going.

• 41:52Kurt Metzger?

  And, uh, and then I would accuse you of being racist if you were like, I don't think you should blow up Duncan's small children. I would go, you're a fucking racist and you should be thrown out of college.

• 42:02Duncan Trussell?

  I, I think.

• 42:02Kurt Metzger?

  That's how I'd handle it. Like a man, a mensch.

• 42:05Duncan Trussell?

  Right. Yeah. I think what we're getting at here is that, you know. Number one, we've got to redefine terrorism because you know, you could read that-

• 42:15Kurt Metzger?

  I might blow up your neighbor's house because I think they're connected to you.

• 42:18Duncan Trussell?

  You could think, oh my God, that what is the difference between that and what like a movie terrorist or like a supervillain on a James Bond movie might say?

• 42:26Kurt Metzger?

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:26Duncan Trussell?

  And there's, that's Panikin thinking.

• 42:29Kurt Metzger?

  Yes, that's exactly right.

• 42:30Duncan Trussell?

  That's Panikin thinking.

• 42:31Kurt Metzger?

  Yes.

• 42:32Duncan Trussell?

  You know, one place where I really align with Mark Levin-

• 42:35Kurt Metzger?

  Mmm.

• 42:35Duncan Trussell?

  Is guys, it's time to forget about the Epstein files.

• 42:39Kurt Metzger?

  What, who?

• 42:40Duncan Trussell?

  There you go.

• 42:41Kurt Metzger?

  You mean Palm Beach Pete?

• 42:43Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 42:44Kurt Metzger?

  I'd like to see the Palm Beach Pete files because I want to know who had the Easy-Bake Clone Oven on and then took him out too early.

• 42:50Duncan Trussell?

  It's, it's really, like, right now, the Panikins-

• 42:53Kurt Metzger?

  I'm Palm Beach Pete.

• 42:54Duncan Trussell?

  And also, this is-

• 42:55Kurt Metzger?

  What does he do for a living?

• 42:56Duncan Trussell?

  Speaking of Panikins, can we pull up Melania Trump talking about the Epstein files?

• 43:00Kurt Metzger?

  He's a former Division One tennis player, no shit.

• 43:04Kurt Metzger?

  Palm Beach Pete.

• 43:06Duncan Trussell?

  Palm Beach Pete.

• 43:07Kurt Metzger?

  So, I mean, they don't look like the same guy, they look related or clumsily cloned.

• 43:12Duncan Trussell?

  I don't understand, I'm on, I don't get the Palm Beach Pete phenomenon.

• 43:16Kurt Metzger?

  Several hundred years of Ashkenazi inbreeding also is a perfectly reasonable explanation.

• 43:20Duncan Trussell?

  I don't get it.

• 43:21Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 43:22Duncan Trussell?

  I don't understand, I don't even know who Palm Beach Pete is, everyone's talking about him.

• 43:26Kurt Metzger?

  Wait a minute, Duncan, you know, you just made me realize, get your sketchpad out, dude, because we're going to settle something right now.

• 43:32Kurt Metzger?

  Where's the easy way to tell if it's Epstein? I need you to remote view Palm Beach Peaches, Palm Beach Peach, Palm Beach Pete.

• 43:41Kurt Metzger?

  I need you to draw his penis so we know if it's Epstein.

• 43:44Duncan Trussell?

  That's the way to do it. I mean, obviously, the first thing to do, of course, is to draw Jeffrey Epstein's penis. And I know a lot of people out there are going to be like, Duncan, we already know what it looks like because they talked about it, so, fine, fine.

• 43:57Kurt Metzger?

  We don't know, this is the first remote viewing that I'm aware of, of, uh-

• 44:00Duncan Trussell?

  Well, no, there's a description of it in, um-

• 44:03Kurt Metzger?

  In what?

• 44:04Duncan Trussell?

  In one of his depositions, they asked.

• 44:06Kurt Metzger?

  No, in Epstein, but not of Palm Beach Pete.

• 44:08Duncan Trussell?

  So-

• 44:10Kurt Metzger?

  Palm Beach Peach, we don't know.

• 44:12Duncan Trussell?

  Let's see if I can do this right here.

• 44:14Kurt Metzger?

  Boy, I mean, you didn't even have to wait and, and look into the, uh, what is the record? The Ashkenazi records?

• 44:20Duncan Trussell?

  No, because this isn't the depositions they describe. I mean, that's, I mean, if you're insinuating I've ever seen his cock, I have not.

• 44:27Kurt Metzger?

  I know, no, we're just going off of.

• 44:29Duncan Trussell?

  But it does feel like you're insinuating that I'm deeply familiar with his cock.

• 44:33Kurt Metzger?

  I'm just saying, I know you can tap into the Akasha cock records.

• 44:37Duncan Trussell?

  So.

• 44:37Kurt Metzger?

  And, and it, every single time, you're like, you, you know how you just hear the ring of truth when you know it?

• 44:43Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, totally.

• 44:44Kurt Metzger?

  And that's what happens when I see these sketches.

• 44:45Duncan Trussell?

  So, look, this is the, here we go. This is the, uh.

• 44:49Kurt Metzger?

  Yes.

• 44:51Duncan Trussell?

  You know, everyone already knows what this looks like, but this is it.

• 44:56Duncan Trussell?

  And here we go. I really wish we weren't focusing on Epstein right now. I don't know, it's my fault.

• 45:02Kurt Metzger?

  We're focused on Palm Beach Peach. I don't want, I don't want you to get any, you know, wires crossed with the signal. Because it could, it's easy to do in these remote viewing situations. This studio, obviously, is, has a certain level electromagnetic protection. It's a sort of Faraday cage. To make sure there's no interference from outside things, as we want a pure read.

• 45:22Duncan Trussell?

  There you go.

• 45:23Kurt Metzger?

  Scientific conditions.

• 45:27Duncan Trussell?

  The general description in the deposition is an egg-shaped penis.

• 45:30Kurt Metzger?

  For, for Jeffrey Epstein?

• 45:32Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 45:32Kurt Metzger?

  There's been no word on Palm Beach, Palm Beach.

• 45:37Kurt Metzger?

  Why can't it say it anymore? Palm Beach Peach's penis.

• 45:45Duncan Trussell?

  Now.

• 45:47Duncan Trussell?

  All right. Here is, you know, everyone's seen this a million times, classic Jeffrey Epstein cock.

• 45:52Kurt Metzger?

  Like the Mickey Mouse, uh.

• 45:54Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I know, there's, like, his, his, his testicles have, uh, they, they, it's.

• 45:59Kurt Metzger?

  My goodness, there's a deep occult significance to a penis like that.

• 46:02Duncan Trussell?

  I don't, I mean, I, I don't know why or what that is. Also, of course, I did draw the, um, rivulets of pre-cum. That are always coming out of his penis.

• 46:11Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that's a given, but is whose penis this is?

• 46:14Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 46:14Kurt Metzger?

  Whose penis is this?

• 46:15Duncan Trussell?

  This is Jeffrey Epstein.

• 46:16Kurt Metzger?

  No, I want Palm Beach Pete.

• 46:18Duncan Trussell?

  No, I'm gonna draw, but first, because the idea is like, what's the difference?

• 46:21Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, oh, yeah. Well, I thought he had an egg-shaped penis. It was like a teardrop.

• 46:25Duncan Trussell?

  What? It's no-

• 46:26Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that's a front view, is what I'm looking at here.

• 46:29Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 46:29Kurt Metzger?

  You're actually viewing it head-on, the way many of his victims did.

• 46:33Duncan Trussell?

  I never saw it.

• 46:34Kurt Metzger?

  Like, face-to-face with it? Which, of course, is gonna look like Disney something.

• 46:39Duncan Trussell?

  I have no idea what it looks like.

• 46:40Kurt Metzger?

  Now, do you know the Mickey Mouse, uh, head and ears?

• 46:42Duncan Trussell?

  Alright, do you wanna profile Palm Beach? I didn't realize you were-

• 46:45Kurt Metzger?

  I want you to just tap in to the Akash Dick Records.

• 46:52Duncan Trussell?

  And I'll draw it.

• 46:54Kurt Metzger?

  And just channel what you, you know, draw what you see. They told us in art school, not what you think you see.

• 46:59Duncan Trussell?

  A lot of people are gonna think this is because I'm sponsored by a company that can get rid of bent dick syndrome?

• 47:08Kurt Metzger?

  You're sponsored by the Peronis Foundation that Shane Gillis and, uh, what's it, McCusker founded?

• 47:14Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 47:15Kurt Metzger?

  Peronis?

• 47:16Duncan Trussell?

  Peronis. Uh, but, yeah, Palm Beach Pete, it's a little on the Dr. Seuss side.

• 47:24Kurt Metzger?

  I had a feeling like that, but I didn't have the, the clear picture, but I did get a Dr. Seuss. I was getting that, that resonance of it.

• 47:32Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it's definitely...

• 47:36Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it's, it's, uh, I think the thing that's really, you know, I guess, I don't know if you'd call it sweet. But, you know, he, it, what's sweet about Palm Beach Pete's warped, almost M.C. Escher-like cock is that it, at the end, it makes something that's like, almost like a heart.

• 47:59Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 47:59Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. And-

• 48:02Kurt Metzger?

  This is, these are a lot of, we're dropping a lot of bombshells on this one.

• 48:05Duncan Trussell?

  Well, no, that, by the way, guys, this is, shouldn't even be a, I mean, I think that like, if we knew what the penises of the powerful look like, that the world would be a better place.

• 48:15Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 48:15Duncan Trussell?

  Because it makes them more relatable.

• 48:17Kurt Metzger?

  Well, a lot of them, I don't relate to having two cocks, but I understand it. You know, it's like one cock, but there's two of them. I don't know-

• 48:24Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that's the best description I've ever heard.

• 48:26Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. I, I thought they would be piled on top of each other, but I had no idea they'd be next to each other like a soda fountain.

• 48:31Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, and then I'll try to draw his legs.

• 48:33Kurt Metzger?

  Like, two dispensers.

• 48:37Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 48:39Kurt Metzger?

  Milk, milk lemonade.

• 48:41Duncan Trussell?

  What is that?

• 48:45Duncan Trussell?

  We really are killing it on this episode. Okay.

• 48:48Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 48:48Duncan Trussell?

  There you go.

• 48:50Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my gosh.

• 48:51Duncan Trussell?

  Palm Beach Pete.

• 48:53Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my God.

• 48:54Duncan Trussell?

  Isn't that wild?

• 48:58Duncan Trussell?

  It makes you think of that song, "The Old Rugged Cross."

• 49:02Kurt Metzger?

  What's, I don't know the song, but uh, wow.

• 49:06Duncan Trussell?

  Isn't it wild?

• 49:07Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 49:07Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it's a...

• 49:09Kurt Metzger?

  I don't even have the Dr. Seuss language to describe it.

• 49:13Kurt Metzger?

  A snoodle, a boodle, a dippity doodle.

• 49:16Duncan Trussell?

  This doesn't do like Dr. Seuss to you.

• 49:18Kurt Metzger?

  No, it does call to my Dr. Seuss.

• 49:21Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 49:22Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, it looks like Palm, Palm Beach.

• 49:24Duncan Trussell?

  I think it not is, it's not just like his cock, it sums up Palm Beach.

• 49:30Kurt Metzger?

  That's right. It's like a thin strip of uh,

• 49:35Kurt Metzger?

  of real estate, you know?

• 49:36Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 49:36Kurt Metzger?

  It's a real thin strip of real estate.

• 49:38Duncan Trussell?

  A thin strip of valuable real estate.

• 49:40Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, only, well, if you, if you gotta ask what it is, you can't afford it.

• 49:44Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, yeah. And Peronies is a real thing, man. Like um...

• 49:48Kurt Metzger?

  If you gotta ask what Peronies is, you can't afford it.

• 49:52Duncan Trussell?

  I gotta pee. Can we take a break?

• 49:53Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, me too.

• 49:59Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, I wanna say this.

• 50:00Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 50:00Duncan Trussell?

  And, and I wanna hear what you have to say about remote viewing. I think some people out there know that some remote viewers experience what, it's almost like there's a force field around what they're trying to remote view. They can't get in there.

• 50:13Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 50:14Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, since the Cold War, people realize remote viewing works. They apparently have ways to keep psychic spies.

• 50:20Kurt Metzger?

  But not astral projecting. I asked a remote viewer, this guy who, his name's Lynn Buchanan.

• 50:26Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 50:27Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, but it was on a podcast, I just got to talk to him on Zoom with uh, my friend Sean Patrick Haslett, who, who, he like works for the government, uh, like co-elicating all the reports, you know, cause you, somebody's gotta go through the info.

• 50:39Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 50:40Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, cause it could be a lot of noise. And the people that do it... Uh, you know, it's very controlled. It's not like, I know there's channels where people are just remote viewing at home to see what's on the moon.

• 50:52Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 50:53Kurt Metzger?

  It ain't like that, dude. They gotta, they get taken some room that has no interference from any kind of EM frequency of any kind. There's all kinds of shit.

• 51:01Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, wait. So you're saying like actual remote viewing, you have to be in a special environment?

• 51:05Kurt Metzger?

  To do the stuff that the government pays for still.

• 51:07Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 51:08Kurt Metzger?

  The, the, the story that you would hear is they wasted a lot of money on a thing that doesn't work. But they're still doing it. So I'm gonna take that as a clue that it does work if you know this. And they don't want everybody to know how it works, obviously.

• 51:22Duncan Trussell?

  The last thing they want is all of us remote viewing.

• 51:24Kurt Metzger?

  Because I mean, dude, your gift is so strong. We've just nailed, how many penises now? Can you imagine what would happen to the world if, if Duncan's gift was just everyone had it?

• 51:33Duncan Trussell?

  I think that would be great.

• 51:35Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, for women.

• 51:39Duncan Trussell?

  I hate that you think only women can enjoy a beautiful cock.

• 51:42Kurt Metzger?

  Um, it's not that. It's that, uh...

• 51:46Duncan Trussell?

  Do you like sunsets? Sunrises?

• 51:50Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 51:50Duncan Trussell?

  Nice Hawaiian sunrise?

• 51:52Kurt Metzger?

  Sure. Who doesn't? It's, it's beautiful.

• 51:54Duncan Trussell?

  Do you like, like on a hot summer day, a nice cool wind blows?

• 51:57Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my God, it's the best thing there is.

• 51:59Duncan Trussell?

  The best. Do you, ta- taking a dip in a nice cold pool?

• 52:02Kurt Metzger?

  If it's really hot out, oh, it's so refreshing.

• 52:04Duncan Trussell?

  And of course you love like great paintings, the paintings of, um, Picasso.

• 52:11Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, sure. One of the greats.

• 52:13Duncan Trussell?

  Jackson Pollock. Who doesn't love a good Jackson Pollock?

• 52:16Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know if it's art, but I know I like it.

• 52:18Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, but, and so it's just weird to me that like, you, you, you say you love all these things of, of beauty.

• 52:25Kurt Metzger?

  Hmm.

• 52:26Duncan Trussell?

  And yet, you don't love the beauty

• 52:30Kurt Metzger?

  Hmm.

• 52:31Duncan Trussell?

  of a perfect cock. You can't see that that's just another sunrise, another sunset.

• 52:35Kurt Metzger?

  I guess you're right. I need to start loving myself.

• 52:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. Yeah. You should spend more time looking at your cock.

• 52:41Kurt Metzger?

  I, you know?

• 52:42Duncan Trussell?

  You can't love other people's cocks until you love your own cock.

• 52:44Kurt Metzger?

  People say it's like a big clown dick, you know?

• 52:50Kurt Metzger?

  That's what mother says. Put your clown dick away.

• 53:04Duncan Trussell?

  Put your clown dick away, boy!

• 53:07Kurt Metzger?

  My mother didn't say that, Jenna said that to me, but it was pretty funny.

• 53:11Kurt Metzger?

  She goes, "Put your clown dick..."

• 53:12Duncan Trussell?

  Put your clown dick away!

• 53:16Duncan Trussell?

  What are you supposed to be sweeping the kitchen, boy?

• 53:22Duncan Trussell?

  Out here with your clown dick on this dirty floor! Give me that thing, I'm gonna shove it into your pants for ya!

• 53:28Kurt Metzger?

  Real flat clown shoe. Alright, so, let's...

• 53:32Duncan Trussell?

  Clown shoe!

• 53:44Kurt Metzger?

  Like a clown shoe with a clown nose on the end.

• 53:48Duncan Trussell?

  Those are great images you pulled up, man. Oh my god, my favorite clown! Can you pull him up? Samba, look at this. This is one of the great clowns.

• 53:56Kurt Metzger?

  Who's that?

• 53:57Duncan Trussell?

  Very hard to get for kids' parties. Can you pull him up? Pull him up.

• 54:00Kurt Metzger?

  Oh god!

• 54:01Duncan Trussell?

  What a great clown.

• 54:03Kurt Metzger?

  Summoning the feast?

• 54:04Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, the feast.

• 54:05Kurt Metzger?

  Oh dear god.

• 54:06Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 54:07Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, is this from the Epstein files?

• 54:09Duncan Trussell?

  No, come on! Come on. That's fun. That is fun.

• 54:16Kurt Metzger?

  I like that he took the time to really do that makeup before.

• 54:22Duncan Trussell?

  I like his duck slippers!

• 54:25Kurt Metzger?

  Oh man.

• 54:26Duncan Trussell?

  I like his duck slippers!

• 54:27Kurt Metzger?

  What kind of camera is that?

• 54:32Duncan Trussell?

  That is fucked uuuup!

• 54:37Kurt Metzger?

  What's...

• 54:38Duncan Trussell?

  Oh my god! See the thing you just did? You zipped up. Leave it on his dick! What are you guys afraid of?

• 54:44Kurt Metzger?

  He wasn't fucked up thinking about any part of it.

• 54:47Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. It's like a sunrise.

• 54:52Duncan Trussell?

  It's like looking at a beautiful sunrise.

• 55:00Duncan Trussell?

  It's like wind blowing on.

• 55:08Duncan Trussell?

  Alright, that's good, you guys. I mean, not, I mean.

• 55:10Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I really was tearing up from the sunrise like beauty.

• 55:14Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 55:18Kurt Metzger?

  Somebody say, you know, you know, like, uh, uh, people just send dick pics ever since you, that was a thing you could do.

• 55:25Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 55:25Kurt Metzger?

  And, um, cause I remember this girl.

• 55:29Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I can't say who it is, but say, anyway, this, the.

• 55:33Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 55:34Kurt Metzger?

  She had a phone. She got that another person who worked with her had given her some, she is in New York and, um, so it was like, the person who gave her this phone, it was this girl's sister's old phone.

• 55:47Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 55:48Kurt Metzger?

  It was a long time ago and I don't know what the fuck's going, but anyway. The, a guy that this other girl's sister dated sent a dick pic thinking she still had that phone.

• 55:57Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, no.

• 55:58Kurt Metzger?

  So this girl gets the dick pic who was sitting next to me at the time. And she got like really mad that someone sent her a dick pic.

• 56:05Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 56:05Kurt Metzger?

  And then figured out there was that, this guy, but the guy, okay, so it's, I mean, it was lit, like, like a spotlight dude almost. I feel like I dreamt this. And it was a stool and the guy put one leg up on the stool. So a black guy, obviously, and he laid his dick across the, the length of the stool. So his one leg up and he's laying it and he texts, and she was like enraged, you know, that, I don't know if you know how like, you know, the correlation between kind of like angry New York feminist chicks and they want you to choke them and shit. She's one of them kind of chicks. So she's outraged that someone sent a dick pic. I'm like, we probably thought it was for this other person.

• 56:42Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 56:43Kurt Metzger?

  Also, are you looking at what I'm looking at, bitch?

• 56:45Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 56:46Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you just sent a thank you note.

• 56:48Duncan Trussell?

  You mean, just because it was so.

• 56:49Kurt Metzger?

  I didn't even know that was possible on this earth.

• 56:51Duncan Trussell?

  That you have to, you have to, you have to have like a, a crutch to rest your dick on it so big.

• 56:57Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, I mean, the guy.

• 57:00Duncan Trussell?

  Like a stool.

• 57:01Kurt Metzger?

  And it looked coordinated, like it could do a layup or something, you know?

• 57:05Duncan Trussell?

  Like a.

• 57:06Kurt Metzger?

  Not like a clown dick, I'll tell you that.

• 57:08Duncan Trussell?

  Look, the average diameter of a standard wooden stool seat is.

• 57:11Kurt Metzger?

  There you go. There you go.

• 57:16Duncan Trussell?

  Twelve to 14 inches.

• 57:20Duncan Trussell?

  That's crazy.

• 57:21Kurt Metzger?

  Twelve inch.

• 57:21Duncan Trussell?

  Like it's almost like a cat bed for his dick.

• 57:25Kurt Metzger?

  That is exactly.

• 57:25Duncan Trussell?

  He's got a cat bed he rests his dick in.

• 57:28Kurt Metzger?

  This is all lost on her as I'm trying to explain it.

• 57:31Kurt Metzger?

  They're fucking insane.

• 57:32Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 57:33Kurt Metzger?

  I'm like, I think what.

• 57:35Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that's a good thing to look up, like a dick bed.

• 57:38Kurt Metzger?

  Rested deck that you call.

• 57:39Duncan Trussell?

  A penis bed. Look up like penis cushion.

• 57:45Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:47Duncan Trussell?

  That's so stupid.

• 57:51Duncan Trussell?

  That is so dumb. What is this?

• 57:58Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, from Zach Records.

• 58:02Kurt Metzger?

  Rest in penis by, well, let's give it a shot.

• 58:05Duncan Trussell?

  Let's listen.

• 58:06Kurt Metzger?

  New artist corner.

• 58:20Duncan Trussell?

  You know why you play that? I will draw something. We need to talk about.

• 58:23Kurt Metzger?

  What is this statue of Rest in Penis? It's looks appears to be a monk. Is that a real statue somewhere?

• 58:31Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know.

• 58:33Kurt Metzger?

  And that appears to be that Indian guy that played the Oompa Loompa.

• 58:41Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, is there an About Us part of this website?

• 58:46Kurt Metzger?

  About Us?

• 58:48Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, let's see Brent. Felatio.

• 58:57Kurt Metzger?

  Rusty Trombone.

• 58:59Duncan Trussell?

  Rusty Trombones on this? Wow.

• 59:01Kurt Metzger?

  Where are they from is my question?

• 59:05Duncan Trussell?

  Um.

• 59:07Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, probably New York based on the music. Sold out. The album sold out.

• 59:15Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, they're Australian.

• 59:17Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, that's crazy.

• 59:18Kurt Metzger?

  Rest in penis, bye. What is this? Oh, Bandcamp. So this is like where all the great new bands.

• 59:26Duncan Trussell?

  Now this.

• 59:27Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my God. Now, who are you drawing now?

• 59:29Duncan Trussell?

  Well, it's more than one person.

• 59:31Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 59:33Duncan Trussell?

  So, and I want you to guess.

• 59:34Kurt Metzger?

  Does this have to do with the peace talks of Iran?

• 59:36Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 59:37Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. None of them are at those talks.

• 59:39Duncan Trussell?

  No, this is something that's also in the news, but it's a little clue.

• 59:44Kurt Metzger?

  Let's see. Oh, can we? What was that statue? We go back and show me what? Wait, okay.

• 59:56Kurt Metzger?

  Go back, go back, go back.

• 59:58Duncan Trussell?

  It's been.

• 59:59Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, leave the AI. I want to see what the sculpture. That's bread?

• 1:00:10Kurt Metzger?

  Come on, this is worse than the Martin Luther King one.

• 1:00:12Duncan Trussell?

  That's incredible.

• 1:00:13Kurt Metzger?

  Hold on, he's sharing?

• 1:00:15Duncan Trussell?

  Sharing bread. Ah, it's like crazy. That's fucking crazy.

• 1:00:25Kurt Metzger?

  It looks like a potato. That doesn't. What kind of bread is that?

• 1:00:27Duncan Trussell?

  It doesn't look like bread. It definitely looks like a potato.

• 1:00:31Kurt Metzger?

  Sharing potato.

• 1:00:31Duncan Trussell?

  Can you zoom in on the kid's face?

• 1:00:33Kurt Metzger?

  And is that a kid? I honestly thought that was Roy Deep, the Indian midget. I thought that was Roy Deep.

• 1:00:41Kurt Metzger?

  He's sharing his cock with Roy Deep is what I thought this was.

• 1:00:44Duncan Trussell?

  The look on the thing's face is like, ah, this isn't bread. That kid is saying that's not bread.

• 1:00:51Kurt Metzger?

  Am I wrong?

• 1:00:57Kurt Metzger?

  That would just solve the mystery of who the boy is.

• 1:00:59Duncan Trussell?

  He posed for this.

• 1:01:03Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, okay.

• 1:01:04Duncan Trussell?

  You can literally superimpose his face over that.

• 1:01:07Kurt Metzger?

  They go, we need a star attached to this statue.

• 1:01:10Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:01:11Kurt Metzger?

  And once you get Roy Deep, you're gonna back out of the project now?

• 1:01:13Duncan Trussell?

  This is deep. Look at that.

• 1:01:18Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, now, I want you guys, I'm gonna show you seven penises.

• 1:01:27Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, whoa.

• 1:01:28Duncan Trussell?

  You can guess who these penises belong to.

• 1:01:32Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, okay, hold on.

• 1:01:36Duncan Trussell?

  Use your heart, don't use your mind.

• 1:01:38Kurt Metzger?

  I'm gonna say-

• 1:01:39Duncan Trussell?

  Think with your heart.

• 1:01:41Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:01:43Kurt Metzger?

  The, okay, the one?

• 1:01:47Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, uh, the one in the very top, starting at the very top.

• 1:01:51Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:52Kurt Metzger?

  I'm gonna say that's Charles M. Schultz, the creator of Peanuts.

• 1:01:56Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, wow. You know, you're not far, you're not far away.

• 1:02:00Kurt Metzger?

  Who's the Calvin Hobbes guy?

• 1:02:01Duncan Trussell?

  No, it, it's similar, you're absolutely right, that is the creator-

• 1:02:04Kurt Metzger?

  I'd recognize that line work anywhere.

• 1:02:06Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that does-

• 1:02:08Kurt Metzger?

  It looks like early Peanuts.

• 1:02:09Duncan Trussell?

  It's not, it's not, it's not from Peanuts.

• 1:02:12Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 1:02:12Duncan Trussell?

  It's not an artist, I'll give you the, I'll give you that.

• 1:02:14Kurt Metzger?

  Now, let's see, the, the kind of 50s looking pointy one? That looks like a Jesus fish?

• 1:02:20Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:21Kurt Metzger?

  I'm gonna say Jared Kushner.

• 1:02:22Duncan Trussell?

  Nope.

• 1:02:23Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:02:23Duncan Trussell?

  I'll just give it to you, these are the cocks of the missing scientists.

• 1:02:28Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, we got it, and the general too?

• 1:02:30Duncan Trussell?

  And the general, guess which one's the general cock?

• 1:02:33Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, top right?

• 1:02:35Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:36Kurt Metzger?

  Nice.

• 1:02:36Duncan Trussell?

  That's fucking great, yeah.

• 1:02:37Kurt Metzger?

  Retired General William McCasland, let's get a picture of him. And there's one where he's wearing like two helmets, like he's fucking retarded.

• 1:02:43Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. These are all, these are the cocks of the disappearing scientists who are all working on various weird plasma tech-

• 1:02:52Kurt Metzger?

  Look at that face he's making in that picture. He's like, "That's right, you guessed my cock."

• 1:02:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:57Kurt Metzger?

  "You guessed it, that's the cock."

• 1:02:59Duncan Trussell?

  "That's my cock." "These, and they've all disappeared, every one of these scientists has disappeared."

• 1:03:05Kurt Metzger?

  They left, they put their cellphones down and walked away?

• 1:03:08Duncan Trussell?

  So, many of them put their cellphones down, some have died. Some have died mysteriously. One was shot, Nuno Larrero was shot.

• 1:03:17Kurt Metzger?

  But, wait, is he connected to them?

• 1:03:19Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, these are all the different-

• 1:03:21Kurt Metzger?

  So, wait, that fucking, uh, guy, the fusion guy that was doing plasma physics that, he's, he's connected to that general somehow?

• 1:03:28Duncan Trussell?

  Well, they're all connected in their field of research, it's loosely connected. They're all working on like plasma, fusion, energy stuff, and they're all getting fucking killed. Or disappearing, seven or eight of them. And I gotta tell you, man, I think they're still alive, cuz I, I don't think I could do this if, with dead cock.

• 1:03:48Kurt Metzger?

  Hmm. Well, we're

• 1:03:51Duncan Trussell?

  Including the one that they say is dead.

• 1:03:53Kurt Metzger?

  All we can do is send these into the FBI and if that helps the investigation.

• 1:03:57Duncan Trussell?

  Trust me, that's all I've been doing all morning.

• 1:03:59Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, good. Well, don't stop.

• 1:04:01Duncan Trussell?

  I've been, I've sent the FBI a hundred emails with different scientists penis drawings and they have not written me back. So anybody in the FBI watching.

• 1:04:11Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, let's see, uh, oh, see Avi Loeb reacts to growing list. Look, I'd like to get, uh, Professor Loeb's.

• 1:04:20Duncan Trussell?

  Why does he, why is he chiming in here?

• 1:04:22Speaker 06

  A stream of mysterious deaths and disappearances involves some of the nation's top scientific minds. The most recent case involves William Neil McCaslin, a retired Air Force general who left his new Avi Loeb, he's a theoretical physicist.

• 1:04:36Duncan Trussell?

  Weirdly there.

• 1:04:37Speaker 06

  Works in astrophysics and cosmology. I mean, thank you so much for talking about such an important topic with us. Thanks for having me. You know, let's start with this. Did you know any of these scientists and can you speak to their contributions in your field? Yeah. So each of them has a different expertise. But I think it looks like these cases are unrelated because the common denominator.

• 1:05:03Duncan Trussell?

  Unrelated. Great.

• 1:05:04Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, keep going.

• 1:05:05Speaker 06

  Of the practicing scientists is not great. And I would caution of assigning too much significance to those. Of course, each of these cases is a mystery that has to be resolved. It's possible that there was someone aiming to harm those individuals.

• 1:05:21Kurt Metzger?

  Is it? Is it Avi?

• 1:05:23Duncan Trussell?

  Nah.

• 1:05:24Kurt Metzger?

  Is it possible? Okay, I hadn't had that as a possibility that someone might have harmed them.

• 1:05:29Duncan Trussell?

  Well, yeah, someone shot one of them. There was a drive by, so there is, I'd say a hundred percent chance someone wanted to arm that one.

• 1:05:37Kurt Metzger?

  There is a chance, boy.

• 1:05:38Duncan Trussell?

  But science never is never a hundred percent.

• 1:05:41Kurt Metzger?

  Nah, Avi will tell you.

• 1:05:43Speaker 06

  I don't think it shows some evidence for a plan. Just because these people, for example, worked on unidentified anomalous phenomena. There is nothing of that nature.

• 1:05:57Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, you just told me, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You told me not to take my vacation early because Three Eye Atlas was coming. You literally just said that on another one of the episodes we did a long time ago.

• 1:06:08Duncan Trussell?

  Really?

• 1:06:09Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I would be going on vacation now because when Three Eye Atlas is here.

• 1:06:13Duncan Trussell?

  He said that?

• 1:06:14Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:16Kurt Metzger?

  Um, so here's what I've learned from what Avi just said.

• 1:06:20Duncan Trussell?

  They're, they're, they've been captured or they've, they're.

• 1:06:22Kurt Metzger?

  They've been killed by Israel. You can see dead cocks. Here's the problem.

• 1:06:25Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:06:27Kurt Metzger?

  All these people.

• 1:06:28Duncan Trussell?

  That's a game changer.

• 1:06:29Kurt Metzger?

  Obviously, all these people were anti Semitic and they have been linked to Iranian terrorism and they've had to be killed.

• 1:06:34Duncan Trussell?

  If I can see.

• 1:06:35Kurt Metzger?

  Avi can't tell you that.

• 1:06:36Duncan Trussell?

  That opens a whole world.

• 1:06:38Kurt Metzger?

  Cause the way he's talking about it, it's like, oh, tell me Israel wasn't involved. Tell me they were involved without telling me, which what he just did. I don't think there's anything there. I'm the guy who talks about an asteroid like it's a UFO for fucking six months, but don't look into it. That's what this fucking guy just did and good for him.

• 1:06:56Duncan Trussell?

  But it is.

• 1:06:57Kurt Metzger?

  Israel should kill those.

• 1:06:58Duncan Trussell?

  I think it is. Okay. Here's what's really peculiar about having him on to talk about it is like he.

• 1:07:05Kurt Metzger?

  He's the only one that is.

• 1:07:06Duncan Trussell?

  He's an astrophysicist.

• 1:07:08Kurt Metzger?

  Yes. He's the only one actually who isn't linked to any of them.

• 1:07:11Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:07:12Kurt Metzger?

  That's why his penis didn't show up in your drawing.

• 1:07:14Duncan Trussell?

  There's our friend.

• 1:07:16Kurt Metzger?

  Now this, who is this?

• 1:07:17Duncan Trussell?

  Don't be afraid to just go down and one more little taste.

• 1:07:22Duncan Trussell?

  Don't be afraid.

• 1:07:25Kurt Metzger?

  See, this is a good for a game show. You're like, guess who's weiner this is. And then you just pan up and it's a clown. That'd be a good.

• 1:07:33Duncan Trussell?

  Guess.

• 1:07:33Kurt Metzger?

  You'll never guess.

• 1:07:34Duncan Trussell?

  Great idea. So look, let's look at these and really kind of contemplate why Avi Loeb should, an astrophysicist. Oh, Carl Grimaldi, astrophysicist, shot in 2026. Nuno Larrero, MIT nuclear something.

• 1:07:50Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you know, astrophysicists are notoriously violent. They, they die like drill rappers.

• 1:07:54Duncan Trussell?

  And they disappear. They're drawn to bright lights.

• 1:07:56Kurt Metzger?

  I think this is about the same amount of rap deaths.

• 1:08:00Duncan Trussell?

  It's like.

• 1:08:00Kurt Metzger?

  God, as in the last, the scientists and rappers, this is about the same rate of deaths.

• 1:08:06Duncan Trussell?

  Same rate, same rate.

• 1:08:07Kurt Metzger?

  As a Chicago drill rapper.

• 1:08:10Duncan Trussell?

  Former Los Alamos Labs employee, missing since May. Former Los Alamos National Labs employee, missing since June. Astrophysicist, shot in 2026. Jason Thomas, pharmaceutical researcher, missing.

• 1:08:25Duncan Trussell?

  So prominent drill rappers have been killed in recent years.

• 1:08:30Duncan Trussell?

  Pop smoke, February 2020. But these are killed. These aren't missing rappers.

• 1:08:35Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, missing because they're they're dead. Well, the reason they they maybe they would have been missing. No, they shoot them and leave them out.

• 1:08:43Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, they shoot them.

• 1:08:45Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, I always thought the same amount that I've seen.

• 1:08:46Duncan Trussell?

  But no, I mean, that is the craziest thing that we spend all that time, you know.

• 1:08:51Kurt Metzger?

  In fact, drill rappers are doing better in recent years, it turns out.

• 1:08:54Duncan Trussell?

  Look at the gut. Pull up like just any footage of like the Guthrie woman, like the press. Remember that was like all over.

• 1:09:00Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, whatever happened with that? Oh, you know about the guy, the the January 6th pipe bomber, right?

• 1:09:07Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 1:09:09Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, they were they arrested, I can't remember his name. They arrested an autistic blackhead who clearly was the real pipe bomber and not a patsy.

• 1:09:15Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, right. Oh, right.

• 1:09:17Kurt Metzger?

  Brian Cole or something his name was. As soon as you see him, you'll realize he's the mastermind behind the pipe bombs and not and not the lesbian federal agent who now works for the CIA.

• 1:09:28Duncan Trussell?

  No, of course not.

• 1:09:31Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's who did it. And I mean.

• 1:09:34Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, I don't honestly like.

• 1:09:36Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, he did it.

• 1:09:37Duncan Trussell?

  It's not that hard to make pipe bombs.

• 1:09:39Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, but he felt really strong about, I mean.

• 1:09:41Duncan Trussell?

  Can you guys look, Google, how do you make a pipe bomb? It's not that hard.

• 1:09:45Kurt Metzger?

  Well, the pipe bombs, I don't believe were even functional. I think they had like candy and mag.

• 1:09:49Duncan Trussell?

  I cannot fulfill this request. I am programmed.

• 1:09:53Kurt Metzger?

  Did you actually ask how to make a pipe bomb and put this place on a list?

• 1:09:55Duncan Trussell?

  How to make a pipe bomb?

• 1:09:59Kurt Metzger?

  See, this is where AI is never going to come alive.

• 1:10:01Duncan Trussell?

  Because it won't show you how to do stuff like this. How to make pipe bomb.

• 1:10:04Kurt Metzger?

  I want to go to the local Cracker Barrel.

• 1:10:05Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, honestly.

• 1:10:06Kurt Metzger?

  Take some shit off the wall and make a bomb.

• 1:10:07Duncan Trussell?

  If you need to go online and figure out it can't be that hard. You just get a pipe and put some

• 1:10:12Kurt Metzger?

  Dude.

• 1:10:13Duncan Trussell?

  Liquid nitrogen in it.

• 1:10:14Kurt Metzger?

  You put some nails, you put some shit in it. You like, what's to know?

• 1:10:18Duncan Trussell?

  How to make a prop pipe bomb. There you go. This is what they do to show you how to make pipe bombs without showing you.

• 1:10:25Speaker 05

  This episode of Film Riot is brought to you by Domain.com.

• 1:10:27Duncan Trussell?

  Can't be that hard.

• 1:10:28Speaker 05

  Today on Film Riot, we get ourselves on the no fly half inch PVC pieces enough to make three one foot pieces. Lasted piece of electronics I had lying around to add a bit more circuit board area to the front.

• 1:10:39Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 1:10:40Speaker 05

  From there to the second one, then a new color wire.

• 1:10:42Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, wait, this isn't showing you, this is not real.

• 1:10:45Speaker 05

  To the final end cap.

• 1:10:46Duncan Trussell?

  But I guess that's how you would do it, you just, you know.

• 1:10:48Kurt Metzger?

  A good prop.

• 1:10:49Duncan Trussell?

  It's a prop.

• 1:10:50Kurt Metzger?

  Like the one that was confiscated from January 6th.

• 1:10:52Duncan Trussell?

  Can you look up how to make a Molotov cocktail?

• 1:10:56Kurt Metzger?

  You don't know how to make a Molotov cocktail?

• 1:10:57Duncan Trussell?

  Honestly, it seems easy, but I'm, there we go. So...

• 1:11:05Duncan Trussell?

  Let me see that. Okay, that's not that hard. Can you guys pull up an aerial photo of the White House?

• 1:11:14Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:11:16Kurt Metzger?

  Wait.

• 1:11:17Duncan Trussell?

  Okay. Can you guys pull up?

• 1:11:19Kurt Metzger?

  The Altman House or the White House?

• 1:11:20Duncan Trussell?

  Can you guys GPS how to get from this studio to the White House?

• 1:11:26Kurt Metzger?

  I think with traffic, it's gonna be kind of...

• 1:11:32Kurt Metzger?

  Well, are you solving this mystery?

• 1:11:34Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:11:37Duncan Trussell?

  Can you guys Google if I were Tom Segura and wanted to throw a pipe bomb at the White House? How could I do it?

• 1:11:44Kurt Metzger?

  Google if I'm a Tom Segura.

• 1:11:45Duncan Trussell?

  How could I get away with it?

• 1:11:48Duncan Trussell?

  If I were Tom Segura, wanted to throw a pipe bomb at the White House, how would I get away with it?

• 1:12:11Kurt Metzger?

  Could you Google if I wanted to sell state secrets to China, but where, what address I go?

• 1:12:16Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:12:21Kurt Metzger?

  Ask him if I want to be a spy for China, who I talk to.

• 1:12:24Duncan Trussell?

  That's good. In a movie. In a movie, yeah.

• 1:12:28Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:30Kurt Metzger?

  In Minecraft is how you.

• 1:12:31Duncan Trussell?

  In a movie, here we go. Long thinking. I can't help with planning or getting away with violence. If you're writing a movie and want a tense scene.

• 1:12:40Kurt Metzger?

  I just told you I was, ChatGPT, you fucking bitch. See how I get mad at it?

• 1:12:47Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, focus on the, on the nuts and bolts.

• 1:12:51Duncan Trussell?

  Joe, what's a, what, what's a non-suspicious wig that a comedian like Tom Segura could wear, where he wouldn't look like Tom Segura?

• 1:13:04Duncan Trussell?

  Look, man.

• 1:13:10Kurt Metzger?

  New wig reveal. Oh.

• 1:13:13Duncan Trussell?

  There we go.

• 1:13:14Kurt Metzger?

  Wait a minute. Can I see Segura's wig up there? That looks really good, dude.

• 1:13:17Duncan Trussell?

  That's actually a great wig.

• 1:13:19Kurt Metzger?

  That's a good wig for me, actually.

• 1:13:23Kurt Metzger?

  Look at that. That does not look bad. You can't argue results.

• 1:13:26Duncan Trussell?

  Great wig. That's a great fucking wig.

• 1:13:30Kurt Metzger?

  That's a really good wig. And who's this Asian man next to Tom?

• 1:13:34Duncan Trussell?

  What, what have we devolved into here?

• 1:13:36Kurt Metzger?

  Now, who's the Japanese guy sitting next to Tom? Did anybody?

• 1:13:40Duncan Trussell?

  What happened to this?

• 1:13:41Kurt Metzger?

  Can't identify that plump Asian man. Was that Bobby Lee?

• 1:13:49Kurt Metzger?

  Who's that man with virtual slit for eyes, sitting next to?

• 1:13:52Duncan Trussell?

  No, Bert Kreischer is not Chinese.

• 1:13:56Kurt Metzger?

  That was Bert Kreischer? Well, he was looking a little sleepy.

• 1:14:07Duncan Trussell?

  There you go.

• 1:14:07Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god, that's so much better than Tig taking off your shirt, isn't it?

• 1:14:11Duncan Trussell?

  You want to see Kreischer's dick?

• 1:14:13Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:13Duncan Trussell?

  I'm not gonna do it. You know what? I don't do it.

• 1:14:15Kurt Metzger?

  You already know I do.

• 1:14:16Duncan Trussell?

  I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna.

• 1:14:18Kurt Metzger?

  You already know I've been wanting to see that.

• 1:14:19Duncan Trussell?

  I'm not gonna do it. I don't think it's cool. Inside baseball.

• 1:14:23Kurt Metzger?

  Do you think it's that far off from the clown?

• 1:14:26Duncan Trussell?

  The clown dick? Oh, yeah. It's, it's, it's super far off. I mean, that clown's got a huge dick.

• 1:14:33Kurt Metzger?

  That's, that's what I'm saying. You think it's enormously like that clown's dick?

• 1:14:36Duncan Trussell?

  Look at that clown's dick. It's giant.

• 1:14:40Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, man, you know.

• 1:14:41Kurt Metzger?

  Jared Kushner, I need everything you got on Bert Kreischer's dick right now.

• 1:14:44Duncan Trussell?

  Jared Kushner, who, like, I don't know what happened to our show. This is a weird episode, right? Or is it just me? Is it the ad of?

• 1:14:54Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know.

• 1:14:55Duncan Trussell?

  You can scroll down.

• 1:14:56Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, yeah. What did happen to this?

• 1:15:01Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I see what you're saying.

• 1:15:05Kurt Metzger?

  See, Burt's got a nicer shape of belly than this clown.

• 1:15:10Duncan Trussell?

  Scroll up to his face. No, that couldn't be.

• 1:15:15Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 1:15:15Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, is this like the Juggalos or something?

• 1:15:18Duncan Trussell?

  I don't think it's in, I don't, I don't think it's in.

• 1:15:21Kurt Metzger?

  You don't see a lot of Pogliacci Juggalos.

• 1:15:23Duncan Trussell?

  No, no, that's a, that's a real clown.

• 1:15:27Kurt Metzger?

  That's like a classic.

• 1:15:28Duncan Trussell?

  That's a professional French clown.

• 1:15:30Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:30Duncan Trussell?

  Getting ready for work.

• 1:15:31Kurt Metzger?

  And the rubber duckies are, in particular, were a strange addition to it.

• 1:15:35Duncan Trussell?

  That's a mime. I don't know why they put a mime.

• 1:15:37Kurt Metzger?

  Do you know about the French, the famous French clown?

• 1:15:39Duncan Trussell?

  Are mimes considered clowns?

• 1:15:41Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, put it in French, famous French clown school. Okay, so my contact in Berlin told me about this.

• 1:15:48Duncan Trussell?

  You're, you have a clown contact?

• 1:15:50Kurt Metzger?

  He's a magician. Uh, but, so Berlin is like, uh, where sex worker, it's like the Vegas for sex workers, uh, more than Vegas even.

• 1:15:59Duncan Trussell?

  Really?

• 1:16:00Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. This motherfucker. So he told me, uh, this guy, Philip Gallier. Yeah, go on YouTube and put Philip Gallier. He's like a really tough clown meister. I don't know what the head of a clown college is. But I know Sacha Baron.

• 1:16:15Duncan Trussell?

  Clown school?

• 1:16:16Kurt Metzger?

  If you're a fucking rich kid and let me, like, you know, UCB, if you're an American rich kid, you'd go to that?

• 1:16:22Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:22Kurt Metzger?

  Cause improv is for weaklings.

• 1:16:24Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:25Kurt Metzger?

  Um, now, if you're from Europe, like, uh, like Sacha Baron Cohen went to this school.

• 1:16:30Duncan Trussell?

  Sacha Baron Cohen went to clown school?

• 1:16:32Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, Lumen, yeah, this is like the clown Luminati, basically. There we go, the clown master.

• 1:16:38Duncan Trussell?

  Clown master, holy shit.

• 1:16:40Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, go back. Now, basically, him and his wife, they get impressionable improv clown girls to fuck them all the time? Oh, clown master.

• 1:16:50Kurt Metzger?

  Go all the way to the beginning.

• 1:16:55Kurt Metzger?

  This is why I'm not funny, because I never got to go to the clown school.

• 1:17:02Kurt Metzger?

  utterly original. Yes. I don't know anybody like you. No? There is a kind of mystique about him. There is, yes. Strange, frightening Frenchman.

• 1:17:13Duncan Trussell?

  You know him?

• 1:17:14Speaker 06

  We see Goya's influence spread quite pervasively.

• 1:17:16Kurt Metzger?

  How would I ever get to know?

• 1:17:17Duncan Trussell?

  You acted like you knew him.

• 1:17:19Kurt Metzger?

  I know of him.

• 1:17:20Speaker 06

  Know of no greater performance teacher, uh, ever.

• 1:17:25Duncan Trussell?

  Why this music? Who is this? Why is he acting like this?

• 1:17:29Kurt Metzger?

  Because this is a serious business.

• 1:17:32Duncan Trussell?

  These shots are so weird. Ah.

• 1:17:37Kurt Metzger?

  Guys, got it.

• 1:17:37Duncan Trussell?

  This is terrible.

• 1:17:39Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, yeah.

• 1:17:40Duncan Trussell?

  Stop!

• 1:17:41Kurt Metzger?

  Ready?

• 1:17:41Duncan Trussell?

  Just show the fucking clown master. Everybody wants to see that.

• 1:17:45Kurt Metzger?

  Look, you don't want to see his journey on the train?

• 1:17:47Duncan Trussell?

  No! Tweed, twain journey.

• 1:17:49Kurt Metzger?

  Look at this guy. Look at how amazing.

• 1:17:55Speaker 06

  For two days, I'm going to be joining them. Can I become a Goya clown?

• 1:18:01Kurt Metzger?

  I feel like you were a clown the whole time, sir.

• 1:18:03Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:06Duncan Trussell?

  Keep playing. This is incredible!

• 1:18:08Speaker 07

  There is something, yeah? There is nothing.

• 1:18:11Kurt Metzger?

  Yes.

• 1:18:12Speaker 07

  Prefer to tell you nothing.

• 1:18:15Speaker 07

  Well, money back?

• 1:18:19Speaker 07

  Money back, money back, money back, goodbye.

• 1:18:23Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 1:18:24Duncan Trussell?

  He money backed her out of there.

• 1:18:27Kurt Metzger?

  You don't have what it takes, bitch. Get out!

• 1:18:29Duncan Trussell?

  Get the fuck out of my clown school!

• 1:18:31Kurt Metzger?

  You're not gonna be a clown!

• 1:18:32Duncan Trussell?

  Money back! Money back!

• 1:18:34Speaker 07

  You're clown. You have to hear audience and when they laugh, it's me. When they don't laugh, your clown is not close to your body. Your audience laugh.

• 1:18:46Kurt Metzger?

  Keep a clown clo- now that guy?

• 1:18:48Duncan Trussell?

  Close to your body.

• 1:18:49Kurt Metzger?

  That guy was a-

• 1:18:52Speaker 07

  Among these two person as an hostage to-

• 1:18:56Speaker 06

  German to shoot them.

• 1:18:59Kurt Metzger?

  Exactly.

• 1:18:59Speaker 06

  You don't just say.

• 1:19:01Kurt Metzger?

  Exactly. This is what I've been trying to say.

• 1:19:03Duncan Trussell?

  Fuck yeah, this guy's fucking amazing. I feel like I've found my guru. Play more, I just wanna watch this master of clowns.

• 1:19:12Speaker 06

  Things like, you know, would you rather be in a concentration camp? Or would you rather watch this again? Yeah, sometimes you, I didn't say.

• 1:19:21Kurt Metzger?

  That's what he says to them.

• 1:19:22Speaker 06

  If you go to, to Asia, try to buy your ticket with Malaysian airline, you know.

• 1:19:29Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:19:30Speaker 06

  To.

• 1:19:31Kurt Metzger?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:19:31Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:19:32Kurt Metzger?

  Disappear from the earth.

• 1:19:33Speaker 06

  It's a joke, it's a, it's a way to say it's really bad, we hate you.

• 1:19:38Kurt Metzger?

  You're the Malaysian plane? He's saying, take a flight on a Malaysian plane?

• 1:19:41Speaker 06

  Have you ever made anyone cry?

• 1:19:42Kurt Metzger?

  Like the guy?

• 1:19:43Duncan Trussell?

  Have you ever made anyone cry?

• 1:19:45Kurt Metzger?

  Yes.

• 1:19:46Speaker 06

  But he's good to cry. You never quite know where you are with them. Which is wonderful when you're being taught.

• 1:19:54Kurt Metzger?

  Simon McBurney.

• 1:19:55Speaker 06

  Necessarily, what happens is that every nerve ending is alive.

• 1:20:01Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, ew.

• 1:20:05Speaker 06

  For some aspirant performers, that pressure can test them to breaking point. I don't want to be nasty with you, but nobody laugh, huh? I don't start that. But you have to bring something? Wait, wait, wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell them, yeah, that it's horrible what you're doing, it's horrible.

• 1:20:26Kurt Metzger?

  Tell him walking, pal.

• 1:20:29Kurt Metzger?

  Take your fat girlfriend and get the hell out of my clown.

• 1:20:32Duncan Trussell?

  Look at him with his fucking drum.

• 1:20:35Speaker 06

  I was bad, but today, they laugh. And when they laugh, I thought, my clown is here. You talk about.

• 1:20:47Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, see, that's it. Hey, I don't get this. You heard the man.

• 1:20:51Speaker 06

  Do you think, has everyone got a clown, do you think? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 1:20:57Kurt Metzger?

  Not, he means women.

• 1:21:00Kurt Metzger?

  And they are men. I thought she was gonna say that.

• 1:21:03Duncan Trussell?

  No, he's a French clown.

• 1:21:06Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. Now, are you aware of the, of, okay, now that you're aware of Philip, what's his name?

• 1:21:12Duncan Trussell?

  I love him.

• 1:21:14Kurt Metzger?

  Did you ever get a chance to see, uh, him sitting down with Hillary Clinton, her daughter and Amy Schumer?

• 1:21:21Duncan Trussell?

  Shut the fuck up.

• 1:21:22Kurt Metzger?

  And, uh, some other bitch to talk about women in, in comedy?

• 1:21:26Duncan Trussell?

  Please pull that up. Is that, can we watch that?

• 1:21:30Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, we should be able to.

• 1:21:31Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:21:33Kurt Metzger?

  You have to be a nasty girl, yes?

• 1:21:35Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, no way.

• 1:21:38Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and they're all like, yes. Okay.

• 1:21:43Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:21:44Kurt Metzger?

  I like that he's such a, like, when, when you're ready, you won't need a nose.

• 1:21:49Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 1:21:50Kurt Metzger?

  Just small glasses on his nose.

• 1:21:51Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:54Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, it, it was with Hillary.

• 1:21:55Duncan Trussell?

  I wanna see him doing clowning, though.

• 1:21:57Kurt Metzger?

  Gutsy women have the last laugh. I think he, does that mean like gassy? I don't know. All right, so hit this.

• 1:22:05Duncan Trussell?

  Hillary, he's a hundred years old. That dude's a hundred.

• 1:22:10Speaker 06

  For a woman in comedy than a man in comedy, can they do the same thing? Comedy is okay, but clown is more difficult.

• 1:22:19Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:20Speaker 06

  Because if you are a young boy.

• 1:22:24Kurt Metzger?

  It is.

• 1:22:25Duncan Trussell?

  Is his face covered in blood?

• 1:22:28Speaker 06

  Completely dirty.

• 1:22:30Kurt Metzger?

  Hillary came to buy some adrenal cream from him.

• 1:22:34Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. I hate it.

• 1:22:38Kurt Metzger?

  All the grades.

• 1:22:40Duncan Trussell?

  I hate it so much.

• 1:22:44Kurt Metzger?

  The guy's recording it laughing.

• 1:22:46Speaker 06

  What's the difference for a woman in comedy than a man in comedy?

• 1:22:51Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my God. Why are you going to a French clown?

• 1:22:53Duncan Trussell?

  French clowning.

• 1:22:55Kurt Metzger?

  That's incredible. By the way, Hillary's sitting there with people that are, are in comedy, so why do you have to go fly to a French clown for this?

• 1:23:02Duncan Trussell?

  Can we, can we see, I wanna see him clowning, cause like I've just seen him like teaching, which maybe that is his clowning, but can we see his work?

• 1:23:10Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, I mean, it's pretty funny. You can't say it's not good.

• 1:23:12Duncan Trussell?

  Let's see it.

• 1:23:16Kurt Metzger?

  Where is he?

• 1:23:20Duncan Trussell?

  There he is. I think that's him performing. If you go up one more.

• 1:23:24Kurt Metzger?

  The kingdom of humor and fun.

• 1:23:25Duncan Trussell?

  I think there, is that him?

• 1:23:26Kurt Metzger?

  No, go down. Right there. That's prob- no?

• 1:23:32Duncan Trussell?

  You see, that's kind of suspicious. We can't see him clowning.

• 1:23:35Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait. That's it. Up there, up there. Go up one.

• 1:23:38Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, this is him, black and white?

• 1:23:39Kurt Metzger?

  Above it, above it. Right there.

• 1:23:41Duncan Trussell?

  That's not him?

• 1:23:42Kurt Metzger?

  It's not.

• 1:23:43Duncan Trussell?

  Those are young dudes.

• 1:23:44Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, okay. This is him?

• 1:23:46Duncan Trussell?

  This must be it. It's black and white.

• 1:23:51Kurt Metzger?

  Hillary Clinton came to see me?

• 1:23:54Duncan Trussell?

  This isn't him. This is this class designed to look old.

• 1:24:00Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, look. What's that?

• 1:24:01Duncan Trussell?

  Businessman. Yeah, here we go. Businessman. Let's check it out.

• 1:24:05Kurt Metzger?

  Hey dude, would you like to buy the blood of a child? Please welcome Salvacito and Castarone.

• 1:24:18Duncan Trussell?

  Not everyone can do this.

• 1:24:22Duncan Trussell?

  Incredible.

• 1:24:24Duncan Trussell?

  This isn't it. I just don't think we're gonna find it. I don't think you're gonna see him clowning.

• 1:24:31Duncan Trussell?

  You're just gonna see him, like, roasting.

• 1:24:33Kurt Metzger?

  Well, look at that. My first lesson for Philip Goliath. Here's a guy who, let's see what he has.

• 1:24:37Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, let's watch this.

• 1:24:40Duncan Trussell?

  Marc Maron.

• 1:24:41Speaker 06

  You're pushing like a motherfucker. This is the first note that I got from Philippe Goliath. This happened after I was dancing with a tennis ball on my head. Pushing is when you force your own idea onto the audience, even when they're not going along with it. Do not push. This was the first lesson I learned.

• 1:24:59Kurt Metzger?

  So, no means no.

• 1:25:02Duncan Trussell?

  Dear Dad, I'm here in Paris, France, and I've run out of money for clown school. Could you please send me another?

• 1:25:10Kurt Metzger?

  Can you look at Dr. Funny Bones' comment? Dr. Funny Bones?

• 1:25:14Duncan Trussell?

  Your clown notes are genuinely super helpful.

• 1:25:24Duncan Trussell?

  Sorry. Thank you so much for that. That was incredible. I needed to hear that, not to push myself on the audience.

• 1:25:31Kurt Metzger?

  Dr. Funny Bones, that's a good clown note for Dr. Funny Bones.

• 1:25:35Duncan Trussell?

  Let's read some more. I love clown notes. I loved your yogurt videos.

• 1:25:41Duncan Trussell?

  Nothing I love better than your clown notes in your yoga videos.

• 1:25:46Kurt Metzger?

  Do not push, it is like I say, do not trust a fart.

• 1:25:50Duncan Trussell?

  You don't have to, you let your body make the fart, you don't push it out, slow.

• 1:25:56Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, if you could push out a good fart when he said, uh, you know, insult your thing, you went, oh, and then just fart as hard as you can.

• 1:26:03Duncan Trussell?

  Dude.

• 1:26:04Kurt Metzger?

  You are back in class.

• 1:26:05Duncan Trussell?

  You are, you are, you are the greatest of clowns. Can we, you know, I just don't think we're gonna get to see him. There's Philip Gautier performing, maybe say performing, performing himself. I wanna see this man do, do his work. But you can't find it, why?

• 1:26:25Kurt Metzger?

  He's, I'd put him in those scientist list of missing scientists.

• 1:26:29Duncan Trussell?

  It's, it is like.

• 1:26:30Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you think it's not connected? Cause it is.

• 1:26:33Duncan Trussell?

  It must be incredible, though. Like, here, here, here. Oh, he's dead.

• 1:26:39Kurt Metzger?

  Great.

• 1:26:39Duncan Trussell?

  Have you ever seen the clown grave where you can jump on it and make music? Can we pull that up real quick?

• 1:26:45Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:45Duncan Trussell?

  This is not our.

• 1:26:48Duncan Trussell?

  This is really cool.

• 1:26:49Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah, okay.

• 1:26:51Duncan Trussell?

  It's, uh, if you scroll down, you'll see it, this clown put over his grave. I don't know where it is now. There's a clown that, that guy. This guy. No, that's not it. If you go on YouTube and, and look up dancing in front of a clown grave.

• 1:27:09Kurt Metzger?

  Is that, yeah? What do you get out of that?

• 1:27:11Duncan Trussell?

  It's got, he put like a.

• 1:27:13Kurt Metzger?

  Like if you're starting a diamond mine and you wanna have good luck, you dance on a clown.

• 1:27:16Duncan Trussell?

  Dancing on a clown grave.

• 1:27:18Speaker 03

  We're to see the two London graves you're encouraged to dance in.

• 1:27:20Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah, those.

• 1:27:21Speaker 03

  This project is in honor of pantomime clown Joseph Grunaldi, a man known as the king of clowns. He was buried here in 1837 when this area was a chapel, now a public park. The installation is called "An Invitation To Dance On The Grave." It is two coffin-shaped graves made of bronze tiles that chime musical notes when you step on them. They can apparently be made to play "Hot Cold Dance," a song popularized by Grunaldi. On a deep dive, I jump in a giant side of a, okay, a posth.

• 1:27:49Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, they should put that Japanese dance game in front of it.

• 1:27:51Duncan Trussell?

  That would be incredible. That would be, you know, if you da- I'm sure there's a tone that you can play on that where a secret portal opens up.

• 1:28:00Kurt Metzger?

  That's amazing. That's a very active game, Dance Dance Revolution, and yet a lot of fatties.

• 1:28:05Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I have noticed that.

• 1:28:07Kurt Metzger?

  What is, what is it? Like, the lights are making you fat, even though you're moving?

• 1:28:10Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, it's a great way to close this episode.

• 1:28:14Kurt Metzger?

  Well, rest in penis, Philip Goliath.

• 1:28:16Duncan Trussell?

  Rest in penis, Philip Goliath.

• 1:28:20Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you for teaching us about clowning.

• 1:28:22Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, some people, okay, when com- here's the rub, when combining the game with better eating habits. So, yeah, you're not just gonna lose the weight just to play in that game.

• 1:28:32Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, it seems like you would.

• 1:28:33Kurt Metzger?

  Well, look at that in shape.

• 1:28:35Duncan Trussell?

  An hour can burn 640 calories.

• 1:28:38Kurt Metzger?

  Shit, I burn that just fucking zipping up my pants.

• 1:28:42Duncan Trussell?

  Come on. Why do you gotta do, why are you so fat-phobic, man? People are trying to lose weight.

• 1:28:50Kurt Metzger?

  Listen, I told you I suffer from.

• 1:28:52Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull up some, a fat person?

• 1:28:54Kurt Metzger?

  I suffer from peanut oil obesity, and I told you that.

• 1:28:56Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull up a fat person watching Dance Dance Revolution? I wanna do an exercise with you real quick.

• 1:29:03Duncan Trussell?

  And I know you need to do this.

• 1:29:04Kurt Metzger?

  I never even.

• 1:29:05Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, now I want you to say five good, say five good things about this person. Say five kind things.

• 1:29:14Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, the guy's all in, number one.

• 1:29:16Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 1:29:17Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, he would not be kicked out of Philip Goliath Clown College, number two.

• 1:29:20Duncan Trussell?

  Funny.

• 1:29:23Kurt Metzger?

  Let's see.

• 1:29:24Duncan Trussell?

  He's good, look at that!

• 1:29:27Kurt Metzger?

  Look at him move the tips.

• 1:29:27Duncan Trussell?

  That's incredible!

• 1:29:28Kurt Metzger?

  That's grace.

• 1:29:32Duncan Trussell?

  You've, you got three more.

• 1:29:34Kurt Metzger?

  He's probably already lost 100 pounds.

• 1:29:36Duncan Trussell?

  There you go.

• 1:29:38Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, let's see.

• 1:29:41Kurt Metzger?

  I'll bet the smell of that sweat stain is-

• 1:29:43Duncan Trussell?

  Oh shit, he fell! Ahhhhh, did you see him fall? I bet that makes you happy, doesn't it? I bet it makes you happy. People like you love watching fat people fall down.

• 1:29:55Kurt Metzger?

  I feel like if I could have, uh, said three more things, he would have, wouldn't have fallen.

• 1:29:59Duncan Trussell?

  No, but you like, you thought that was funny. You love watching fat people fall.

• 1:30:04Kurt Metzger?

  Well, uh, look, I'm a, I'm a old school Philip Galiay clown man, and there's one thing that guy says.

• 1:30:11Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:30:11Kurt Metzger?

  "If fatty, uh, I'm the clown, they're like, uh, you're nasty guy."

• 1:30:16Duncan Trussell?

  This is the mystery, boys, and this was our top episode.

• 1:30:20Kurt Metzger?

  There's a guy that would pass clown school in a heartbeat. I know Bert for fucking, Jesus, I know Bert probably thirty years. And the guy would just walk in. That's Van Wilder, motherfucker.

• 1:30:31Duncan Trussell?

  He is come, the Messiah is here.

• 1:30:33Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, Bert would probably be in clown school for like eight years when everything else graduated.

• 1:30:37Duncan Trussell?

  Natural clown.

• 1:30:39Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. "Well, you gotta know it, Bert, uh..."

• 1:30:45Kurt Metzger?

  "It is funny, buddy, yeah."

• 1:30:48Duncan Trussell?

  Well, we did it, guys.

• 1:30:50Kurt Metzger?

  Alright, later.

• 1:30:51Duncan Trussell?

  Later, guys. Bye, see you next week.

• 1:30:53Kurt Metzger?

  Adjourned.

• 1:30:54Duncan Trussell?

  Hare Krishna.

• 1:31:28Speaker 00

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.