Giggling about onlyfans, canada, and cake

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Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

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• 0:38Paige DeSorbo?

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• 0:48Speaker 01

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• 1:25Speaker 02

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• 1:38Speaker 02

  Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 1:52Hannah Berner?

  What's up, my gotcha gigglers? Oh, good. I do have to say, at the end of our shows, we do a Q and A where Grace goes around and chooses people based on their kind eyes. Yes. She doesn't like when people like run up to her aggressively. She doesn't even want to be doing it.

• 2:07Hannah Berner?

  She doesn't want to be there at all. She doesn't want to be there at all. And this girl runs up to her and like grabs the mic and immediately everyone was like, oh no, like, because this girl clearly was blackout, having too much fun. The girl grabs the mic and I'm like, what you gonna say? And she just goes, "Gotcha." And everyone just went nuts.

• 2:24Paige DeSorbo?

  It was so funny.

• 2:25Hannah Berner?

  So it's become a thing now, like gigglers are coming up to the airport just going, gotcha. So we created.

• 2:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly, it's kind of terrifying.

• 2:32Hannah Berner?

  I'm more monster.

• 2:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Came up to me on the streets of New York City.

• 2:36Hannah Berner?

  Gotcha.

• 2:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Gotcha. I'd be like, they're gonna shoot me in the face.

• 2:39Hannah Berner?

  So we almost didn't make it to Canada.

• 2:43Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we almost didn't make it back into America.

• 2:46Hannah Berner?

  Both.

• 2:48Hannah Berner?

  When we were going across to Canada, the lady was not having it.

• 2:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Giggly Squad is a professional podcast. Let's talk about something that's really important, border control.

• 2:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Talk about border control.

• 3:01Hannah Berner?

  You didn't think this was gonna be top of the agenda today.

• 3:03Paige DeSorbo?

  And I understand that Canada was in fact trying to keep out the riffraff and that is.

• 3:07Hannah Berner?

  And we respect that.

• 3:08Paige DeSorbo?

  And I respect that.

• 3:09Hannah Berner?

  We respect that.

• 3:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, we pull up to the border and we get, first of all, we get our passports. We like give them to her. She's stunning. I feel like that's like important.

• 3:20Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, and her skin was glowing, but she immediately had attitude. She was like all at the same time because Grace was like holding two and she's like all at the same time. And I was like, ooh, she's not happy with us.

• 3:30Paige DeSorbo?

  And then this is the difference between me and Hannah. Hannah wanted to give her, her life story, like this is why we're here. This is what we're doing. And I was like, tell this bitch nothing. Why does she need to know what we're doing at the casino?

• 3:43Hannah Berner?

  So this thing of border control, if you don't have like a, when you are working in another country, you have to have like a slip of some kind.

• 3:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like a permit of some sort.

• 3:52Hannah Berner?

  And I've definitely gone over and like didn't print out the slip or whatever, then just been like, I'm going to see friends and they can't really say anything. But this time I knew we had the slip and she was giving us attitudes. So she was like, why are you guys here? And I was like, we're performing. I love how I was like, ask me more bitch, ask me. And she was like, what kind of performance? Is this like a band or something? And I was like.

• 4:11Paige DeSorbo?

  And I was like, I actually can hit the note. Thank you so much for bringing this up. I've been practicing.

• 4:16Hannah Berner?

  My wicked note, because I did hit it.

• 4:18Paige DeSorbo?

  And it just immediately goes, yeah, this is a band.

• 4:24Hannah Berner?

  But she's looking at us like, there's no way you're a band. And I go, um, we're a podcast. She's like, what's your podcast about? And in that moment, I wanted to be like, how difficult it is to get over the border. And I get attitude. And I tell that to the guy when we leave and he's the guy driving us and he was like, you would have gotten us arrested if you said that. And I was like, thank God for the first time in my life. I kept something in my own head.

• 4:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Comedy.

• 4:45Hannah Berner?

  Comedy. And she looked at us like, well, you're not funny. Um, and then really scared us like we weren't gonna get through.

• 4:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 4:53Hannah Berner?

  So we thought, didn't think we're gonna get through, even though there was, they make you feel like you have cocaine up your pussy and you start to boo, like they gaslight you to be like, I shouldn't go over the border.

• 5:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, here's the thing in my head.

• 5:04Hannah Berner?

  If we did have cocaine in our pussy, who was gonna stop?

• 5:08Paige DeSorbo?

  They weren't gonna find it because uh, this is the first time I've ever gone into Canada driving, like so going through the border, like in a car.

• 5:16Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 5:16Paige DeSorbo?

  They don't check anything.

• 5:18Hannah Berner?

  No, they're like, do you have guns? And we're like, no. And she's like, good.

• 5:22Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, don't lie.

• 5:24Hannah Berner?

  Don't fucking lie to me.

• 5:25Paige DeSorbo?

  What if I did? Like, I totally could have in that car.

• 5:28Hannah Berner?

  We definitely think Canada, you gotta tighten it up a little bit.

• 5:31Paige DeSorbo?

  No, Canada, tighten it up.

• 5:33Hannah Berner?

  Kinda tighten up. But then going back, this is, we've done six shows in four days. It's the end of our tour for twenty twenty four. We're like, oh my God, we did it. And it's.

• 5:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Zero brain cells between the three of us.

• 5:44Hannah Berner?

  It's seven AM, so I never have brain cells at that time. And we get to the border and the guy goes, give me your passports. And Grace immediately looks at me with like a weird look and I'm like.

• 5:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Like you were her mom.

• 5:55Hannah Berner?

  She looked at me like the guy said it in a weird way. And I was like, I don't think he was mean about it. And then she's like, still looking at me with this weird blank stare. And I'm like, are you okay? And she goes, I can't find my passport. And this is when.

• 6:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that's such a like little kid to your mom, like, mom, can I tell you something? When are we going home? That's like how it felt.

• 6:15Hannah Berner?

  No, and immediately I'm like.

• 6:17Paige DeSorbo?

  I turned into my mom, you turned into yours. I start praying. I'm like, it's fine. We'll say Saint Anthony.

• 6:22Hannah Berner?

  Saint Anthony. You, you went to God. You found Jesus. I assumed that I took it. I go, I probably have it. I'm going through my shit. I'm like, oh, I was looking for that chapstick.

• 6:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Your bag was so iconic. Cause Grace goes, why are you looking in your bag? You go, I'm trying to be helpful.

• 6:40Hannah Berner?

  Looking under my shirt. I'm like, in my hat.

• 6:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, we're done for.

• 6:44Hannah Berner?

  You go full negative. You go, we're never leaving.

• 6:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I go, we reside here now.

• 6:49Hannah Berner?

  And it turns out, we were in, what's it called? Like a in between.

• 6:52Paige DeSorbo?

  We were in purgatory.

• 6:53Hannah Berner?

  We're in purgatory.

• 6:54Paige DeSorbo?

  We weren't in America, but we weren't still in Canada.

• 6:56Hannah Berner?

  So we couldn't get back.

• 6:57Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we couldn't go back to Canada to be like, we forgot it.

• 7:01Hannah Berner?

  So we call the hotel, though, to be like, do you guys, can you look in the hotel room? And it's like a bunch of security guards and they're like, we looked, we couldn't find it. And I'm like, is there a woman there?

• 7:11Paige DeSorbo?

  No, truly.

• 7:12Hannah Berner?

  Cause you guys searched for two minutes. I know how men look for things. They don't even like lift stuff up.

• 7:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 7:18Hannah Berner?

  But they're like, we can't find it. And the woman is like, Grace gives her a paper and Paige is just like, we're not making it.

• 7:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. I'm like, there's just, I'm like, there's no way this is 2024. You can't like get into America without a passport.

• 7:30Hannah Berner?

  At that point, we weren't even trying to get in. We were just like, fuck.

• 7:32Paige DeSorbo?

  We were like, what do we do? What do we have to do?

• 7:34Hannah Berner?

  Meanwhile, border control getting back into America. She's like, yeah, you guys are good. And Paige is like, St. Anthony, St. Anthony, we're never gonna make it back. And she's like, can you please just like drive? And Paige is like, we're never gonna get home. So they were begging us to go back to America. Grace got back into America. Oh yeah. Grace also didn't have another form of ID.

• 7:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, I was like, there's no logical possible. I was like, if you had your ID and you lost your passport, yeah, you're saying you're Grace.

• 8:03Hannah Berner?

  No, she lost her ID in Boston.

• 8:05Paige DeSorbo?

  America was like, we don't give a flying fuck.

• 8:09Hannah Berner?

  So for anyone who needs to get in from Canada, you're welcome.

• 8:14Paige DeSorbo?

  You're fine.

• 8:15Hannah Berner?

  Our arms are wide open. And if you're thinking, Grace, stop losing things. Grace has too much on her plate.

• 8:19Paige DeSorbo?

  No, she does.

• 8:20Hannah Berner?

  Grace has to keep, make sure we're awake, make sure we're breathing, make sure we're fed.

• 8:24Paige DeSorbo?

  She asked for HR multiple times in the past three months. We've denied her request every time. We're like, put it in the comment box. We'll get to it in 2025.

• 8:34Hannah Berner?

  Documentary about the toxic work environment of the squad. And it's just Grace, like anonymous, speaking like, yes, this one time. Hannah forgot her boots and I had to Uber back 40 minutes to get her boots for the show.

• 8:47Paige DeSorbo?

  One time Paige commented on my boobs and how she wanted to see them.

• 8:52Hannah Berner?

  You guys are laughing, but everyone with a real job is like, yeah, not okay. Not okay.

• 8:59Paige DeSorbo?

  She will legit ask for HR. We start laughing. We're like, that's so funny. We have to.

• 9:03Hannah Berner?

  You're the next Lizzo.

• 9:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah.

• 9:06Hannah Berner?

  We've never taken Grace to a strip club. I just, we've never taken her to a strip club, even though she asks all the time. I'm just kidding. Grace's mom who listens. Oh, God. Anyway.

• 9:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Anyway, we're, we're back.

• 9:17Hannah Berner?

  Quick update. And I forgot to say yesterday, I am on the holiday episode of Is It Cake? A lot of moms have been messaging me. Just want to say, um, I probably was the worst judge that ever judged. Is it? Do you know how fucking hard it is?

• 9:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 9:33Hannah Berner?

  They give you 20 seconds.

• 9:34Paige DeSorbo?

  And you're far away.

• 9:35Hannah Berner?

  You're far away and they give you 20 seconds, but you also have to say stuff that's like funny. I, every time I blanked.

• 9:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 9:42Hannah Berner?

  And like, it's one of those things where like, I think I could hit the wicked note. I don't think I could get Is It Cake? And Tiffany Haddish was like, confident. Like she was just like, that's cake. That's cake. Turned out that's guys said whatever she, whatever she wants.

• 9:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Whatever she wants.

• 9:56Hannah Berner?

  What was funny is when we got there, they were, I was like, do people like get upset? Like, you know, we're judges, like it's this fucking American Idol. And they were like, literally once someone cried like years ago, but like, no, it's really fun. But they were like, they do work for like 12 hours to put these cakes together. So just like, keep that in mind.

• 10:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like they're tired.

• 10:15Hannah Berner?

  The whole episode was people crying. The whole episode, people cried and I loved all the, I was like, no, you're perfect. Like I don't even, Tiffany got it. I don't know. Like I couldn't tell. You're perfect.

• 10:25Paige DeSorbo?

  But do they get like eliminated? I only watched your episode.

• 10:28Hannah Berner?

  They literally are like, bye bitch. So.

• 10:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my God, it's cutthroat.

• 10:32Hannah Berner?

  The episode is like them working hard and then us dumb comics coming in being like, this cake.

• 10:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I like the host too.

• 10:38Hannah Berner?

  Oh, Mikey Day is so cute.

• 10:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, he's cute. He's funny.

• 10:41Hannah Berner?

  So he's actually, I realized from one of my favorite, like viral YouTubes back in the day of, who's the, um, magician? David's, I was gonna say David Spade. David Blaine?

• 10:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 10:53Hannah Berner?

  There's, if you YouTube David Blaine, it's like making fun of David Blaine and how he'll be like, pull, I'm pulling this out of your pocket and how people freak out and it's.

• 11:01Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like there was a time in like the 2010s where like magicians were really having a moment.

• 11:07Hannah Berner?

  No, magicians were cool. I feel like we should bring it back.

• 11:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know.

• 11:12Hannah Berner?

  Should we do it on tour?

• 11:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Have you been on to a magic show?

• 11:14Hannah Berner?

  I once went to this like swanky New York City bar where like everyone sits and there's a magician at the table.

• 11:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 11:20Hannah Berner?

  It was really fun.

• 11:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 11:22Hannah Berner?

  But there's two types of people. One that are like, oh, it was in his glove and for this.

• 11:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and they try to figure it out.

• 11:28Hannah Berner?

  I believe in magic. I enjoy it. And that's what I was. I enjoyed it until they were bringing out like the doves. I don't need doves.

• 11:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I don't need live animals.

• 11:40Hannah Berner?

  Leave the animals out of it.

• 11:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm hmm.

• 11:42Hannah Berner?

  Um, that's why we don't have live animals on the Giggly Squad show.

• 11:44Paige DeSorbo?

  But like David Blaine and like locking yourself in like a cage that like goes into shark infested water. It's like, maybe call a therapist.

• 11:50Hannah Berner?

  Maybe call a therapist.

• 11:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Just like, men will do anything to not go to therapy and they'll become magicians.

• 11:57Hannah Berner?

  No. And why is it always like the girl that they put into that box?

• 12:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, have you ever seen a female magician like putting a man into a box and, and sawing it up?

• 12:06Hannah Berner?

  Okay, now that's my next Netflix special. Now I need to do that. Well, I feel like like pilots, we're gonna get like a ton of girls being like, I'm a magician, as you should be. But it is, it is funny that it's always a man being like, I think that I could.

• 12:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I've never seen a magic show advertised and it was like a woman.

• 12:23Hannah Berner?

  Normally, I guess it's more like the Cirque du Soleil where the girls are like, I can take my limbs and like fold it behind my head, which jealous.

• 12:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm actually into that TikTok. I feel like me and you should do it. But it sounds like, have you ever seen this one? Have you ever seen this one?

• 12:40Hannah Berner?

  Every girl that was a former dancer, I just have to say, did it probably get you like nowhere in terms of your career? Probably not. No, but you know, like, there's like.

• 12:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, it's a Monday and Hannah showed up.

• 12:54Hannah Berner?

  No, but you know, like, you played football, you got a scholarship, like.

• 12:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 12:58Hannah Berner?

  There, I don't think there were dance team scholarships.

• 13:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Hard life.

• 13:01Hannah Berner?

  No. Well, like, yeah, they're getting paid no money doing, maybe they became cheerleaders.

• 13:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Even become a professional dancer. You're just, you're a backup dancer on a tour. Yeah, you're not getting like the recognition.

• 13:14Hannah Berner?

  But what I'm gonna say is, were they fucking cool in high school?

• 13:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 13:19Hannah Berner?

  The dance team at my school, these girls were just popping their pussy like so effortlessly. They, they would all do it like the same and like they were untouchable, like they were.

• 13:30Paige DeSorbo?

  The only reason I wanted to become a cheerleader in high school was the vibe.

• 13:34Hannah Berner?

  In my like, public school I went to, they're, the cheerleaders kind of were, like, we barely had a gym.

• 13:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:39Hannah Berner?

  So like, I don't know what they were doing. It was the dance team that was the shit. Cause they were like, they could give a blowjob.

• 13:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. The dance team knows how to give a blowjob.

• 13:47Hannah Berner?

  Came out with, um, her song, when she came up with, my goodies, my goodies, my goodies, not my goodies. And then the hair flip.

• 13:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:57Hannah Berner?

  And the hair flip, and the hair, that's my favorite thing with dancers, they're really good at the hair.

• 14:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Actually, one of my favorite things to watch on TikTok is, like, college dan- dance team competitions.

• 14:07Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, it's amazing. But I do have to say, y'all bitches are so lucky I can't do a split.

• 14:14Paige DeSorbo?

  We're, Hannah, we're so lucky, there's so many things that you can't do. We're so lucky that you don't have the voice of an angel.

• 14:21Hannah Berner?

  You're so fucking lucky.

• 14:23Paige DeSorbo?

  We're so lucky that you're not flexible.

• 14:24Hannah Berner?

  So, if I was flexible, I'd be sitting here with my leg around my head.

• 14:28Paige DeSorbo?

  And we're so lucky you're not a morning person. If you had those three things, I don't think we'd even be friends. I don't think, I don't think we'd even be sat at this flower table.

• 14:39Hannah Berner?

  I might be the star of Wicked.

• 14:43Hannah Berner?

  Which, by the way, I saw with my mom.

• 14:46Paige DeSorbo?

  And what did you think?

• 14:47Hannah Berner?

  It was fucking fantastic.

• 14:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 14:50Hannah Berner?

  Are there moments that you would be cringey, or you'd be like, I'm gonna fall asleep? Yes, but after watching it, again, remember I'm delusional, you are Glinda. Like, you are Glinda, and I am Alphaba.

• 15:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 15:06Hannah Berner?

  This is like a niche comment, but it was giving like, reality TV to me.

• 15:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:10Hannah Berner?

  Where like, you kind of became the princess, and then I was like,

• 15:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Gotta go.

• 15:15Hannah Berner?

  I flew out and I was like, ah!

• 15:20Paige DeSorbo?

  And they're just gonna leave me here with all the munchkins?

• 15:22Hannah Berner?

  I became the wicked witch of the West, but then people realized, it was, it's all, the whole thing is about propaganda.

• 15:28Paige DeSorbo?

  So the story, the story of Wicked is about us.

• 15:31Hannah Berner?

  It's literally Giggly Squad and there's short men running around.

• 15:39Paige DeSorbo?

  No, not the short men.

• 15:41Hannah Berner?

  But I do have to say, it's about propaganda of how like, you can make anyone believe in something and you can make every, everyone can bond over hating the same thing. And there's this concept of, they all started to turn on the animals because animals could speak. And they were like, these animals speaking is bad and they got everyone against it. And also you guys know this from The Wizard of Oz, so this isn't a spoiler. Oz is all bullshit, like his power, his everything, it's all just made up to control people. And she, she calls him out.

• 16:15Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't know that.

• 16:16Hannah Berner?

  And they try to make her seem like she's wicked because she was the only one.

• 16:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Speaking your mind.

• 16:21Hannah Berner?

  Speaking your mind, being like, ah. And um, well, people are gonna leave bad reviews for that.

• 16:27Paige DeSorbo?

  It's getting better.

• 16:29Hannah Berner?

  Don't say that to me.

• 16:29Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not getting worse.

• 16:30Hannah Berner?

  Don't fucking say that to me.

• 16:31Paige DeSorbo?

  It's either staying the same or getting better, but it's not getting worse.

• 16:34Hannah Berner?

  Well, because at first, honestly, there was really bad, um,

• 16:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Acoustics.

• 16:38Hannah Berner?

  Acoustics in that room.

• 16:39Paige DeSorbo?

  And you had a throat.

• 16:40Hannah Berner?

  I had, I also, I also had like a weird nap earlier that day.

• 16:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Earlier that day.

• 16:48Hannah Berner?

  Musicians are so funny. They'll be like, all you have to do is drink Dr. Pepper with a little bit of honey and you're sound amazing. Like everyone has a weird like,

• 16:55Paige DeSorbo?

  A weird little thing.

• 16:56Hannah Berner?

  Thing they do.

• 16:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you see Ariana and Cynthia were both nominated for Golden Globes?

• 17:01Hannah Berner?

  Yes, as they should. Um, want to make one note? Why, I think it's Golden, one of them, Golden Globes, they're, they added a comedy section.

• 17:11Paige DeSorbo?

  They did.

• 17:12Hannah Berner?

  But they, well, they have like the comedies and they go musical slash comedy. Why is that the same? Then they added a stand-up thing. I was not nominated. Um, I will be speaking to,

• 17:23Paige DeSorbo?

  The Academy.

• 17:24Hannah Berner?

  The Academy about that.

• 17:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, so it's a section of TV, film, musicals slash comedies?

• 17:31Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 17:32Paige DeSorbo?

  How many musicals slash comedies are there?

• 17:34Hannah Berner?

  They have a separate thing for musicals. Like musicals are not comedies. It's just like these, the Academy or whoever, does not respect comedy as an art form when it's fucking hard to do.

• 17:45Paige DeSorbo?

  And when you say it's comedy, it's just movies and TV? It's not specials?

• 17:50Hannah Berner?

  Specials was just given last year its own.

• 17:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 17:54Hannah Berner?

  And it's, and it's sometimes they have,

• 17:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Who was nominated for?

• 17:57Hannah Berner?

  Specials?

• 17:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 17:59Hannah Berner?

  Well, Ali Wong.

• 18:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 18:00Hannah Berner?

  Nikki.

• 18:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 18:02Hannah Berner?

  Um, Jamie Foxx, so I didn't know her special.

• 18:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Really? Yeah, I was just gonna say.

• 18:06Hannah Berner?

  Rami Youssef. And there's one more that I'm forgetting.

• 18:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Shane Gillis?

• 18:13Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 18:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Really?

• 18:14Hannah Berner?

  But that's why you.

• 18:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Who's nominating the people? Did, okay, actually, this brings me to my next thing. Lana Del Rey didn't know that you had to submit your songs to the Grammys.

• 18:27Hannah Berner?

  But also, she's not even the one that would do it. It's her team who would do it.

• 18:29Paige DeSorbo?

  But like that's, she was like, I didn't know that was even a thing. Her managers had to tell her like, no, you have to submit to get a Grammy.

• 18:36Hannah Berner?

  Did she not submit?

• 18:37Paige DeSorbo?

  No, she just thought like, oh, you just like get put on the ballot.

• 18:41Hannah Berner?

  That's her team's job. She submitted.

• 18:42Paige DeSorbo?

  No, but then they submitted. They submitted her. But like going into it, she was like, oh, I thought you just like.

• 18:47Hannah Berner?

  I actually don't know if my team submitted me. Grace, can you double check that?

• 18:54Hannah Berner?

  I think that's what happened. I think it got lost in the mail.

• 18:58Paige DeSorbo?

  What about the section for live shows and drunk girls?

• 19:01Hannah Berner?

  Live podcasts, no, but I do have to save. Awards in general, this is like end of the year where you're gonna start seeing, oh my God, everyone doing the like, my year in a nutshell. It's like, love, broken heart, working out, eating good food, traveling the world.

• 19:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, what, what are you talking about?

• 19:19Hannah Berner?

  This is what's gonna happen on TikTok. Everyone's like end of the year, like montages, which I love that everyone's making their life more romantic than it is, but like, who's it for? Send it to your mom.

• 19:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Who's it for?

• 19:31Hannah Berner?

  Put it together, send it to your mom.

• 19:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Speaking of, do you have any New Year's resolutions?

• 19:36Hannah Berner?

  I'm trying to survive today.

• 19:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:37Hannah Berner?

  New Year's resolutions, um.

• 19:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Anything you're trying to like improve on, change?

• 19:45Hannah Berner?

  I'm trying, I'm drawing a blank.

• 19:47Paige DeSorbo?

  That's crazy. I'm perfect.

• 19:49Hannah Berner?

  I actually do wanna stretch more, but like, I've been saying that since I was 12.

• 19:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. No, I wanna work out more. Not even, like, this is the first time in my life I'm like, no, I need to work out because I'm brittle and frail and I will die. Not like, oh, I wanna have like a high, tight butt. But like also, yes, but like.

• 20:10Hannah Berner?

  Mine is definitely not because I'm brittle and frail. Um, but I, we travel a lot and I feel like, yeah, our bodies are like breaking down. I mean, I've been doing the worm, my lower back.

• 20:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Like I need to be stronger.

• 20:21Hannah Berner?

  We wanna be strong and strong is beauty, as Alona Mayer, Alona Mayer would say.

• 20:26Paige DeSorbo?

  True.

• 20:27Hannah Berner?

  True.

• 20:32Hannah Berner?

  My goodies, my goodies.

• 20:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Another thing, I have a question for you.

• 20:36Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 20:37Paige DeSorbo?

  You wa- say you're walking into your bedroom.

• 20:39Hannah Berner?

  Wait, you never ask me questions. This is crazy.

• 20:41Paige DeSorbo?

  You're walking into your personal bedroom.

• 20:43Hannah Berner?

  Are you pointing?

• 20:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Because I'm trying to set the scene.

• 20:47Paige DeSorbo?

  This is you walking in.

• 20:48Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 20:49Paige DeSorbo?

  You're walking in, you're staring at your bed.

• 20:51Hannah Berner?

  Yep.

• 20:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, you're at the foot of it, you're staring at it.

• 20:54Hannah Berner?

  My bed's on the left.

• 20:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay. What side do you sleep on?

• 20:58Hannah Berner?

  Oh, I, okay, this is crazy.

• 21:01Paige DeSorbo?

  It's crazy.

• 21:01Hannah Berner?

  This is crazy because, not to brag, but when we're in West Hampton.

• 21:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 21:09Hannah Berner?

  When we're in West Hampton, I sleep on the left.

• 21:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 21:11Hannah Berner?

  I've always slept on the left. In the city, I sleep on the right. Basically, I sleep whatever's farthest to the door. The man, in my head, the man sleeps closest to the door.

• 21:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, that is how I sleep too. Like, I'm always closer to the window.

• 21:27Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, because if someone comes.

• 21:30Paige DeSorbo?

  They get them first.

• 21:31Hannah Berner?

  They get them first, yeah.

• 21:33Paige DeSorbo?

  At the door.

• 21:33Hannah Berner?

  As they should.

• 21:34Paige DeSorbo?

  But I saw this thing on TikTok that was like, it has nothing to do with like the door or whatever. There's a masculine and feminine side of the bed. And she said, if you're single, you have to sleep on the left side of the bed to like tell the universe you're ready for someone to be on the right side.

• 21:53Hannah Berner?

  Women in the arts, I don't support this. It's not true.

• 21:57Paige DeSorbo?

  But, in, like, okay, me not even knowing this, inherently, I go to the left side. Like, I go to the feminine side.

• 22:06Hannah Berner?

  Well, it's funny because I was single. And during COVID, I slept on the right side the whole time. That's when I met my husband. So go fuck yourself. I'm not trying to be Negative Nancy.

• 22:16Paige DeSorbo?

  In my old apartment, I slept on the right.

• 22:18Hannah Berner?

  And you.

• 22:19Paige DeSorbo?

  But I felt very in charge and very masculine.

• 22:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I love when life imitates art.

• 22:27Paige DeSorbo?

  That's when I was really just.

• 22:28Hannah Berner?

  I do understand the like coming into your feminine energy thing, but again.

• 22:33Paige DeSorbo?

  So need to come into my feminine energy in 2025. I'm gonna be softer.

• 22:36Hannah Berner?

  But I would argue, let's all like that. All of it's made up. Like what makes feminine energy is a stereotype anyway. Like what if feminine energy is being assertive and organized and like it's all, all the binary stuff like let's forget.

• 22:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 22:53Hannah Berner?

  You're a soul.

• 22:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Thank you.

• 22:56Hannah Berner?

  You're like, like Daphne.

• 22:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Speaking of that bitch.

• 23:00Hannah Berner?

  How is she?

• 23:01Paige DeSorbo?

  When I came home yesterday from tour, she was like giving me attitude like, oh, look who it is.

• 23:08Hannah Berner?

  Wait, she's the only one in your life who gives you attitude?

• 23:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Truly. Like she wouldn't come over to me. Like I obviously picked her up and was like, we're snuggling, we're hugging, we're loving. And she was like, okay. And then like, I'm gonna go do my own thing. So she wasn't like actively coming over to me. It was more just like, can't believe you're back. Like this is what we do here. So like fall in line. And then at like 3am, I felt her little head on my head and I said, okay, are you not mad at me anymore? And then we loved each other.

• 23:35Hannah Berner?

  And then this morning was good.

• 23:36Paige DeSorbo?

  This morning I was just like, you're perfect.

• 23:38Hannah Berner?

  And that's why I love cats because like you're almost, you respect her more because being like, I was disrespectful. I was gone for four days. I wanna earn your love.

• 23:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I left you with like a plethora of men.

• 23:50Hannah Berner?

  Rotating door.

• 23:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Rotating in and out of the apartment, like feeding you, petting you. You probably had no idea what was going on. And then I just come home and I expect you to be like obsessed with me. And she was like, give me a frickin minute.

• 24:02Hannah Berner?

  Which is so page coded.

• 24:03Paige DeSorbo?

  So page coded. She was like, you're not just coming into my life and like rearranging things. But the best thing was my brother was watching her over the weekend and he calls me the one day and he goes, hey, um, everything's fine. Daphne's fine. And I'm like, what's wrong? And he's like, well, she's just like really lethargic. I don't know if something's wrong. Like, and I'm like, oh my God, what is she doing? And he's like, she's just like not getting up and like I'm calling her name. She's like not looking at me. And so I like look at the clock and I'm like, it's two o'clock. We're in prime napping time.

• 24:36Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 24:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Call me when there's something actually important. Goodbye.

• 24:39Hannah Berner?

  Cats are cuddling from around 11 to four, I would say. Like they're not moving. They're not doing anything. She also was partying the night before, running around doing whatever cat jokes she has. This tour is sponsored by Neutrogena.

• 24:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I have to confess something and Hannah's actually turned me into a new person. I can't believe I let her do this to me, but we no longer get glam when we're on tour. Doing it myself, I have to have the perfect base and that's why I love the Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel.

• 25:09Hannah Berner?

  I actually don't use primer because my amazing makeup artist once told me that you really just need good hydration. So I always use it as my primer.

• 25:19Paige DeSorbo?

  And the Hydro Boost Water Gel really is such a weightless hydration and it stays for 24 hours. And we're flying multiple days in a row. So we need that 24 hour protection. And we can both use it and we have two very different skin types and it's suitable for all skin types.

• 25:36Hannah Berner?

  Shop it now at Neutrogena.com.

• 25:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I've always wanted to be more consistent with strength training, but my biggest problem is getting to the gym and thinking, okay, now what? I'll do a few exercises. I remember maybe a pull up, something I saved on Instagram, but there's never really any planning behind it. That's what I've been loving about the Ladder app. I open it and my workout is already planned for me by an expert coach. I know exactly what exercises I'm doing, how many sets, how many reps. And the in-ear coaching gives me cues and motivation throughout the workout. It genuinely feels like having a personal trainer in my headphones. I love using this whenever I'm in hotels. I've been using it for a while now and I see and also feel myself getting stronger each day because of Ladder. I have also been eyeing their Pilates workout routines for a little while now.

• 26:24Paige DeSorbo?

  So that will definitely be in my next workout venture. And for less than $1 a day, you can't beat it. And I love that Ladder remembers my weights, reps, and sets because I can actually see my progress instead of wondering whether what I'm doing is working. Plus you can get a new plan every week that builds on the last. Remove the guesswork with Ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything planned for you. And if you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit/giggly and take a quick quiz to find your perfect ladder plan. Use my link and get a free seven day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join.

• 27:02Hannah Berner?

  The Columbia Amaze Puff Jacket is so iconic because I feel so encapsulated and warm, but it's so light.

• 27:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Great use of encapsulated. I went whimsical. My jacket is the Tea Light Pearl Shine and it really does. Give T Light Pearl Shine.

• 27:18Hannah Berner?

  It gives it.

• 27:19Paige DeSorbo?

  It's sunny.

• 27:20Hannah Berner?

  Honey, and mine's black.

• 27:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Because sometimes in the winter, you just see all the same colors. And I'm like, okay, but let me throw like a galosh on with my puffer coat and let me have it be fun colors.

• 27:33Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, because you like a coat to be part of the outfit.

• 27:36Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the outfit.

• 27:36Hannah Berner?

  Not ruining the outfit.

• 27:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 27:38Hannah Berner?

  But also I hate when you put on coats and then you're like stiff. I, you guys, I literally could swim in this.

• 27:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it feels like it's light, but it's also extremely warm.

• 27:47Hannah Berner?

  It's not overpriced.

• 27:49Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 27:49Hannah Berner?

  And we love giving the Giggler's a good deal. And it has space for layering. Like you don't feel like it's tight, so I can layer a lot.

• 27:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Which is very important because there's nothing worse than like layering and you're stiff and then you're sweating and it's like a cold sweat and it's like, no.

• 28:02Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 28:03Paige DeSorbo?

  And I love that it has these things for your hands because I, I really use them with my thumbs. I love when jackets have this.

• 28:10Hannah Berner?

  So cute. And they have all different length options for what you prefer, depending on how long your torso is. Visit columbia.com to get your hands on an Amaze Puff Jacket.

• 28:21Paige DeSorbo?

  It's tough on cold, soft on you. I love a sweet treat. I'm always looking for a sweet treat and I certainly can't eat something without having a sweet treat. Kachava's new salted caramel flavor is one of my favorite flavors that they even make. It's salty, it's sweet, what is better together? Also, I feel like Kitty knows that around four o'clock, I need a sweet treat and I'm always craving something salty and sweet. And if that wasn't good enough, Kachava is all the nutrition your body craves in one delicious, simple shake. Just two scoops provide complete nutrition to your body with protein, fiber, greens, and so much more. Kachava provides no fillers, no nonsense, all clean nutrition.

• 29:02Paige DeSorbo?

  No artificial flavors, colors, sweeteners, preservatives, and they have the best flavors. Matcha, coconut acai, strawberry, coffee, chocolate mint, cinnamon french toast, and of course, salted caramel. Embrace your salty side, go to kachava.com and use code GIGGLY for 15% off your first order. That's kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com with code GIGGLY.

• 29:26Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Do you ever think about a situation in which you could permanently delete it from your brain? It could be an awkward interaction with a coworker from years ago. I keep replaying this irrational worry, I'll get stuck in an elevator forever. I think these kinds of thoughts get trapped in a loop in your mind and it's hard to get rid of them sometimes. That's why BetterHelp therapists can help you clear your thoughts that are taking up way too much of your mental space. And with insurance, many members pay $15 or less, some pay $0. BetterHelp therapists are fully licensed in the US with at least three years and 1,000 hours of hands-on experience. When it comes to matching with a therapist, BetterHelp does the initial work for you.

• 30:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Just take a short questionnaire to help identify your needs, and if you're not happy with your match, which sometimes happens, switch to a different therapist at any time from BetterHelp's tailored recommendations. BetterHelp is now in-network with more than 125 health plans, with many copays as low as $15 for eligible members. And if you don't have eligible insurance or live outside the US, you can still get 20% off your first month. Sign up and get 20% off at betterhelp.com/giggly-squad. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash giggly squad.

• 30:44Hannah Berner?

  Also, speaking of travel, you saw the woman who, with the Paris flight?

• 30:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Who just like got on the Delta flight with no ticket?

• 30:52Hannah Berner?

  She broke onto a Paris flight with no ticket. I think it was great. And she was just going from like bathroom to bathroom.

• 30:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, after being on tour in a thousand different cities, the airport is made up.

• 31:05Hannah Berner?

  And accidentally breaking into an Indianapolis flight.

• 31:08Paige DeSorbo?

  TSA is straight up made up. We broke into the airport in Indianapolis, Hannah almost got on with no ticket. Like, that, I'm not kidding, that scarred me.

• 31:18Hannah Berner?

  Accidentally.

• 31:19Paige DeSorbo?

  When I said, "How did she get through TSA?" And Delta goes, "We don't know." That terrified me.

• 31:24Hannah Berner?

  I looked at her and said, "What are we all doing here?" They said, "Gotcha."

• 31:28Paige DeSorbo?

  No, TSA is a lie, the border is a lie, like, there's no authority anywhere.

• 31:34Hannah Berner?

  Authority. Also, all you have to do is giggle and they'll be like, "Oh, they're fine."

• 31:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it's just like crazy. No, that woman getting on the Paris flight is...

• 31:44Hannah Berner?

  I feel like when you're getting on flights, they're more worried about you having a purse.

• 31:48Paige DeSorbo?

  A third bag. I was just gonna say that. I've been stopped getting on the flight just because I have a mini purse that's like not consolidated. If I hear the word consolidated one more time in the airport.

• 32:00Hannah Berner?

  As you know, I, I literally almost got arrested during a Southwest flight because of this and I had to choke myself in front of the line. However, this is sexism. They're not factoring in that we come with a mini purse. A mini purse does not count as something that would-

• 32:16Paige DeSorbo?

  It's an extension of my body.

• 32:17Hannah Berner?

  It's extension of your body. And like, yeah, men don't have purses. So they just think in their head, oh, too, that was made by a man.

• 32:22Paige DeSorbo?

  And you know what? All of his stuff in my purse.

• 32:24Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 32:25Paige DeSorbo?

  In my purse. So why don't we split that purse up?

• 32:28Hannah Berner?

  When I go to, to the airport, I have my luggage. I have my backpack that then has like my makeup and my laptop, if I remember it. And some people would have a nice bag, as you do.

• 32:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 32:39Hannah Berner?

  Like a big bag. And then you have your purse with your phone.

• 32:43Paige DeSorbo?

  And your wallet?

• 32:44Hannah Berner?

  Your wallet and Grace's passport.

• 32:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Your personal items.

• 32:46Hannah Berner?

  And your personal items. That's called girlhood. That's called being a woman. But what I do, cause look, I don't follow the rules.

• 32:55Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you don't.

• 32:56Hannah Berner?

  Gotcha.

• 32:58Paige DeSorbo?

  You put your purse on first.

• 32:59Hannah Berner?

  So I put my purse on first and then I put my backpack over my purse.

• 33:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 33:03Hannah Berner?

  And they've never got me once.

• 33:04Paige DeSorbo?

  No, they really don't get you.

• 33:06Hannah Berner?

  They don't get me. And if they did, I would just be like, oopsie poopsie.

• 33:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 33:10Hannah Berner?

  But um, I'm not putting my little purse into my backpack that doesn't fit to then just take it out when I get to my seat to, cause they both fit. If they both fit under your chair, what are we doing?

• 33:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm done with airports. I'm done with TSA. I'm done with planes. The last plane we got on to, it was all men in the aisle rows and I'm like so tired and like struggling and my arms are shaking, like putting my luggage up. And I literally put it in the overhead bin and I'm not kidding. I looked, I turned and I looked at all of them and I said, you should be ashamed. I mean, I didn't say that, but I gave them all looks.

• 33:45Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, there's, we've lost etiquette. We've lost the plot.

• 33:50Paige DeSorbo?

  We've lost the plot. There's no airport etiquette.

• 33:53Hannah Berner?

  I'm freaked out. Have you heard about the Meta Smart glasses?

• 33:59Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 33:59Hannah Berner?

  There are these glasses that you wear that really look like normal glasses and it pans people's faces. And when you see the person, you can press on them and Google them and see like it matches their face.

• 34:11Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 34:11Hannah Berner?

  And he's and that's where I'm at. That's where I'm at.

• 34:14Paige DeSorbo?

  No, thank you.

• 34:16Hannah Berner?

  That's where I'm at.

• 34:16Paige DeSorbo?

  No, thank you.

• 34:18Hannah Berner?

  I mean, maybe for dating it'll be good, but like anything that's like, it feels so um exposed. It feels so violated.

• 34:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Being at, just like picturing being at like a bar.

• 34:29Hannah Berner?

  And everyone's just looking at you with the sunglasses and you're like, you liking what you're reading?

• 34:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Like where, where would that, in what situation would that be like, oh, thank God I have my, thank God I have my spy glasses? Like.

• 34:44Hannah Berner?

  No, that's the thing.

• 34:45Paige DeSorbo?

  In what situation is that like helping?

• 34:47Hannah Berner?

  Leave, we're, the girls are already spying. Like, we know what's going on. We don't need stupid fucking glasses.

• 34:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Unless like it was for like the police.

• 34:56Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, the police should have them.

• 34:57Paige DeSorbo?

  But like, I don't need one at Starbucks.

• 35:00Hannah Berner?

  No, imagine a guy comes up to you and he's like, do you have podcasts about like how sharks kill you? And you're like, yeah, that was a clip we did. And then he's like, cool. That's how you date.

• 35:10Paige DeSorbo?

  No. Don't approach me. If you're a man, don't approach me.

• 35:15Hannah Berner?

  Also, if you're a man with stupid sunglasses out of Starbucks, don't approach me.

• 35:20Paige DeSorbo?

  No. I rarely get approached, I feel like, by men, unless like their girlfriends want a picture.

• 35:26Hannah Berner?

  I don't know. My algorithm thinks I'm you.

• 35:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a lesbian.

• 35:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Mine thinks I'm a lesbian.

• 35:35Hannah Berner?

  No one said that. No one said that.

• 35:39Paige DeSorbo?

  I've gotten more and more that I give lesbian energy.

• 35:41Hannah Berner?

  Wait, no, I know for a fact that you could have like at least one relationship with a woman and it'd be like amazing, but then you go back to men. Yeah, like aesthetically, you'd see, you'd be like, I would like this, like for photos.

• 35:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't think.

• 36:00Hannah Berner?

  She just goes down on you all the time?

• 36:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't, here's the thing.

• 36:04Hannah Berner?

  As someone who

• 36:06Paige DeSorbo?

  is a lesbian.

• 36:07Hannah Berner?

  Who identifies with the lesbian community, way more with the gay community, with the gay men, male community.

• 36:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I could be a lesbian if we were just chilling on the couch and chatting, but that's just a friend.

• 36:20Hannah Berner?

  Would you be?

• 36:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I couldn't be a lesbian because of the sexual stuff.

• 36:24Hannah Berner?

  First of all, we're in a lesbian relationship.

• 36:27Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't go down on each other.

• 36:29Hannah Berner?

  But you know what, a lot of these lesbians. Gotcha. I was gonna say, a lot of these lesbians, I don't know, but in marriage, don't you eventually stop? So aren't we just a married lesbian relationship? Like you come in and you're like.

• 36:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Starting a sentence with, I don't know, a lot of these lesbians is so funny and amazing.

• 36:49Hannah Berner?

  I, no, I could see you, okay, I don't wanna like, okay, you know Caitlin Carter?

• 36:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Please don't put me in a box.

• 36:55Hannah Berner?

  Do you know Caitlin Carter?

• 36:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like one.

• 36:57Hannah Berner?

  She dated Miley Cyrus and like, I saw it. Question is, do you want femme or?

• 37:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Masculine? Um.

• 37:06Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 37:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know what I would want.

• 37:12Hannah Berner?

  I think that's gay of you.

• 37:15Hannah Berner?

  The fact that you considered all of it, I think you're gay.

• 37:20Paige DeSorbo?

  My instinct is I would want like a femme girl.

• 37:24Hannah Berner?

  Okay, okay.

• 37:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, if I went, if I went more masculine, like a girl that was more masculine.

• 37:30Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 37:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I've dated gayer men. Like I, I've actually been with someone more.

• 37:37Hannah Berner?

  I think that's the thing though, lesbians, their whole thing is that they have the masculinity that I said earlier wasn't a thing. But then also, like, like when two lesbians raise a baby.

• 37:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, that's profound.

• 37:50Hannah Berner?

  It's the most incredible thing you've ever seen.

• 37:54Paige DeSorbo?

  That's, I mean, the, the, their apartment must be so, when I think of lesbians, I just think about like, their apartment must be so tiny, tidy and organized.

• 38:03Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 38:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, everything must have a home.

• 38:05Hannah Berner?

  And everything's fixed.

• 38:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Everything's fixed, everything's in its proper place.

• 38:09Hannah Berner?

  Yep.

• 38:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Like.

• 38:10Hannah Berner?

  And they're cooking, but they're cooking like steaks.

• 38:13Paige DeSorbo?

  They're cooking, but then they're cleaning up after they've cooked. You know, like they're not waiting for the next one.

• 38:18Hannah Berner?

  They're barbecuing and making all the sides.

• 38:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 38:21Hannah Berner?

  Um, do you ever see like a WNBA girl that you're like, wait, you can throw me around? Yes.

• 38:29Paige DeSorbo?

  No. No, but there is one WNBA girl, but I don't know if she's actually out.

• 38:36Hannah Berner?

  Paige Bukers.

• 38:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 38:38Hannah Berner?

  She's not out.

• 38:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm obsessed with her though, but like her vibe, I'm like, oh, she's like, has like swag and I'm like nervous. Like when I look at her, but like, I don't wanna date her.

• 38:48Hannah Berner?

  No, you're so right. I'd be like.

• 38:50Paige DeSorbo?

  But also imagine I dated someone with the same name.

• 38:54Hannah Berner?

  Like the Taylors.

• 38:55Paige DeSorbo?

  The Tayl- yeah.

• 38:56Hannah Berner?

  The Taylors.

• 38:56Paige DeSorbo?

  If I went lesbian, I would only go lesbian with someone named Paige.

• 39:00Hannah Berner?

  Which is, this is so page coded. So page coded.

• 39:03Paige DeSorbo?

  And like just think about like, us as a couple, we're P squared.

• 39:07Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I love how this whole episode is just me calling you gay.

• 39:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:12Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I have a question. Cause your fingers are so long.

• 39:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 39:16Hannah Berner?

  Are, are dicks like smaller to you? Because like for me to get my hand around a dick, it has, it, it could be small. Cause I have little nubby fingers. Every dick seems huge in my hands. You could.

• 39:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I really take their confidence away. I'm like, really?

• 39:33Hannah Berner?

  You're literally holding a string bean with your fingers. Oh my, have you thought of that? Like you giving a handjob is, does it get embarrassing ever? Cause your fingers are folded over so much? You've like, you have a.

• 39:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Like I've wrapped around three times. Um, no, but I once had a guy say that like, my fingers are so girly looking. And like my nails are always done, that like, he liked the way my hand looked.

• 39:59Hannah Berner?

  That's crazy. Never happened to me before. Not once. Well, I, I always say you could be a hand model.

• 40:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I could. Hand job.

• 40:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh god.

• 40:12Hannah Berner?

  Wait, this is actually really good segue. The men are mad.

• 40:17Paige DeSorbo?

  About?

• 40:19Hannah Berner?

  OnlyFans.

• 40:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Why?

• 40:21Hannah Berner?

  So, girls are coming out being like-

• 40:22Paige DeSorbo?

  They're the only ones on it.

• 40:24Hannah Berner?

  The call is coming from inside the house.

• 40:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Guys, you came up with it.

• 40:29Hannah Berner?

  Some girl came out and said she's making like forty million dollars a month on OnlyFans.

• 40:32Paige DeSorbo?

  A month?

• 40:33Hannah Berner?

  Did I make that up?

• 40:34Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I think a year.

• 40:35Hannah Berner?

  And the men are furious, but it's like, this is just basic business.

• 40:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, if the girls subscribe to it, they're maddening your own people.

• 40:43Hannah Berner?

  If there's demand, there needs to be supply.

• 40:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:46Hannah Berner?

  Econ 101 that I didn't even go to. So, why did I go full Sebastian Maniscalco?

• 40:55Hannah Berner?

  Forty-three million in her first year. So, the men are furious, and this is my thing.

• 41:01Paige DeSorbo?

  But you guys paid her.

• 41:03Hannah Berner?

  You're the ones paying.

• 41:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 41:05Hannah Berner?

  Also, I feel like guys used to make fun of girls for being strippers. And it's like now, we're making money doing sex work that is safer in our own apartment and entrepreneurial.

• 41:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw this quote that was like, I can't remember it like exactly now, but it was something where it was like, women-

• 41:29Hannah Berner?

  Oh, fuck.

• 41:30Paige DeSorbo?

  It was like, women, if it's unconsensual, it's sexy. If it's consensual, it's just slutty. So, like, men like feeling like, we don't want this, and that's like seduction, and like, I'm gonna make her want this. But when we're like, yeah, give it to me, they're like, you're a whore.

• 41:50Hannah Berner?

  And that sounds, my therapist would say, is you don't love yourself. If the second the girl wants to fuck you, you don't want it, look inward.

• 41:58Paige DeSorbo?

  But also, like, OnlyFans is like going on to Pornhub, but like, they're just, they have a better pay situation.

• 42:04Hannah Berner?

  A better pay structure, they're doing their own production. It's just the girls are making more money on OnlyFans because it goes straight to them.

• 42:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 42:10Hannah Berner?

  Instead of getting, like, I mean, there are companies that do OnlyFans, I guess.

• 42:14Paige DeSorbo?

  There's men on OnlyFans too.

• 42:16Hannah Berner?

  There are men making money on OnlyFans too. It's just-

• 42:18Paige DeSorbo?

  The women are just smart enough, like, no, I'm not paying for porn, you bu- you bunch of idiots.

• 42:23Hannah Berner?

  These fucking guys being like, I would never, I would never marry a girl who does OnlyFans. I'm just gonna. She wouldn't touch you.

• 42:31Paige DeSorbo?

  No, she wouldn't touch you.

• 42:33Hannah Berner?

  The guy, she's fu-

• 42:34Paige DeSorbo?

  She'd literally buy and sell you also. Like, she makes so much money, you would be a joke to her.

• 42:39Hannah Berner?

  Like, these, if you have ever had to say out loud, I wouldn't marry a girl who does OnlyFans, you've never met a girl who does OnlyFans. Like, you're not even in the room with this level of, of girls. You're not even in her tax bracket, exactly. But I think it's their mad that a lot of men, I think, don't like hot girls because they feel like they're already rejected before. I mean, that's what I was saying. I have your algorithm. They think I'm like a hot girl who likes white cats,

• 43:11Hannah Berner?

  who has a southern boyfriend, cuz I keep, I send you anything that relates to you, so it fully, so it sends me things like, are you a really hot girl? And did you, and I'm like, no. But they say how like hotter girls get approached less.

• 43:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 43:25Hannah Berner?

  And how people can like be, and like, I'm not trying-

• 43:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Can I admit something to you that I don't think people would like ever really, like, imagine? I've never been truly hit on in my DMs. Like, ever.

• 43:42Hannah Berner?

  Not even Charlie Puth?

• 43:43Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like, I've never had a man that I've, like, pre, not previously met, like, yeah, I've had like guys like,

• 43:50Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 43:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I met him at a club, or like, oh, he's a friend of a friend, like, slide into my DMs and be like, you look, whatever.

• 43:55Hannah Berner?

  But you love random guys be gross.

• 43:56Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I don't. I don't have random men being gross and sending me sexual things, and I don't have anyone like sh, ever shooting their shot in my DM. I've never had a guy that I've never met before, who is like anything that like I would potentially date, DM me and say, like, let's go on a date or something, never. Is that kinda crazy?

• 44:16Hannah Berner?

  I hate to say it, and I hate to like support pretty privilege, but like, it's cuz-

• 44:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I think my Instagram is not even anti-men, but it's like, oh, this is literally like shoes, clothes, I'm like, Daphne.

• 44:31Hannah Berner?

  Well, the male gaze is a real thing, and you can tell as a man, like, Chris, can you tell when a girl's posting for men versus posting for girls?

• 44:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, yeah. Yeah.

• 44:42Hannah Berner?

  So like, the girls who are posting-

• 44:44Paige DeSorbo?

  My first shot is at my ass.

• 44:47Hannah Berner?

  Actually, you did, that was for, who was that for?

• 44:49Paige DeSorbo?

  That was for myself.

• 44:52Paige DeSorbo?

  That was for myself to be like, you're thirty-two, but you still got it.

• 44:57Paige DeSorbo?

  But no, my Instagram very much gives girl, like for the girls.

• 45:00Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, for the girls.

• 45:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Not lesbian, but for the girls.

• 45:03Hannah Berner?

  And you also look just like really

• 45:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Mean.

• 45:05Hannah Berner?

  rich, pretty and mean, which I feel like

• 45:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Good. Don't fucking DM me. This is not, this is not an invitation. This is me saying, I like where it is. Keep it that way.

• 45:16Hannah Berner?

  Back in my single days, I was very, like, I was just chatty. I love to flirt. And it was like, sometimes guys would message me, but also I would message men.

• 45:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I never really even like did that well on dating apps.

• 45:32Hannah Berner?

  I was very, I was active.

• 45:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 45:34Hannah Berner?

  I was chatty, chatty, chatty. Like I'd lose interest quick, but I'd also was quick to just say something funny and like.

• 45:39Paige DeSorbo?

  I think like my whole, if I look at my twenties as a whole, like how many years of that I was on dating apps? Like definitely like more than two. I legit only went on two dates from dating apps. Nah, maybe three.

• 45:54Hannah Berner?

  I've gone on.

• 45:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, no.

• 45:57Hannah Berner?

  Dozens.

• 45:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't really like get that many match.

• 45:58Hannah Berner?

  I would say dozens. Well, you're probably crazy picky.

• 46:02Paige DeSorbo?

  True.

• 46:03Hannah Berner?

  I mean, not that I was just like.

• 46:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, because you know what? Dating apps actually used to make me really mad because sometimes I'd get like someone sliding in there and I'd be like.

• 46:13Hannah Berner?

  How dare you?

• 46:13Paige DeSorbo?

  How fucking dare you?

• 46:15Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 46:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Like you just pissed me off. Like in what world, sir?

• 46:20Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 46:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Like that would annoy the shit out of me.

• 46:23Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 46:24Paige DeSorbo?

  But like if you have the confidence.

• 46:26Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I feel like I would just swipe on like, I was, it's, the, the apps are so strange, but it is algorithmic and it is numbers.

• 46:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 46:35Hannah Berner?

  So that's why it's like, I would just like, I'd start talking, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Attention, attention, dopamine, dopamine. Um, it's like a game, but yeah, I'm so, I'm sorry that

• 46:48Hannah Berner?

  no man likes you.

• 46:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm sorry, you don't have a husband.

• 46:54Hannah Berner?

  What I was gonna say.

• 46:55Paige DeSorbo?

  And no prospects.

• 46:56Hannah Berner?

  I'm working on a new bit. Cause I feel like I know I'm funny.

• 47:05Hannah Berner?

  Because my husband's better looking than me.

• 47:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, you know that you're funny because your hus- I don't think Dez is better looking than you. I think you actually are a very complimentary couple.

• 47:17Hannah Berner?

  I can't tell if you just dissed us or complimented us.

• 47:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Gotcha.

• 47:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Gotcha.

• 47:29Paige DeSorbo?

  That's my whole personality. I don't know if Paige just insulted me and read me for filth.

• 47:35Hannah Berner?

  I'm gonna go to sleep tonight and be like, I had so much for recording a page. What does she, what does she mean by that? What did she? No, I think there's moments where like I glow up and I'm like, ooh, I'm fucking hot right now.

• 47:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 47:46Hannah Berner?

  But then there's moments where I'm like, he is so naturally good looking, like his bone structure, like his cheekbones, like his nose, like he's a-

• 47:51Paige DeSorbo?

  A naturally good looking man.

• 47:52Hannah Berner?

  A naturally good, but I've also always been, I don't know why, I would, no, I've not always been pretty.

• 48:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Which I like. Oh no. Call the authorities.

• 48:06Hannah Berner?

  You're so Glinda-coded, you have to, I'll, I'll watch it with you.

• 48:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I haven't always been pretty.

• 48:16Hannah Berner?

  No, I mean, I have to watch it with you, but then we might get kicked out, cause well, you can't make, you can't make a-

• 48:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Sing along.

• 48:22Hannah Berner?

  You can't make a sound.

• 48:23Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'm not gonna, I wouldn't even dare sing along.

• 48:26Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, but that's when we get our giggly fits.

• 48:28Paige DeSorbo?

  No. Um, wait, were you referring, what were you saying?

• 48:31Hannah Berner?

  No, so just saying that like, you have to have, I know I have a good personality, cause I'm, I'm with a hot man. I think that was always why I liked hot men, to prove that like, um, I could be the man one, like I could be the ugly funny one.

• 48:46Paige DeSorbo?

  But you're not the ugly funny one.

• 48:48Hannah Berner?

  But that's my identity.

• 48:52Hannah Berner?

  Am I the prettiest person you've ever met?

• 48:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 48:56Paige DeSorbo?

  When I look away from the mirror, yes.

• 49:01Paige DeSorbo?

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• 49:45Paige DeSorbo?

  across all of the app's features. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Get Rocket Money today at rocketmoney.com/gigglesquad. That's rocketmoney.com/gigglesquad. Rocketmoney.com/gigglesquad.

• 50:01Hannah Berner?

  The Columbia Amaze Puff Jacket is so iconic because I feel so encapsulated and warm, but it's so light.

• 50:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Great use of encapsulated.

• 50:10Hannah Berner?

  I know.

• 50:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I went whimsical. My jacket is the Tea Light Pearl Shine and it really does give Tea Light Pearl Shine.

• 50:18Hannah Berner?

  It gives it.

• 50:19Paige DeSorbo?

  It's honey.

• 50:19Hannah Berner?

  Honey. And mine's black.

• 50:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Because sometimes in the winter, you just see all the same colors. And I'm like, okay, but let me throw like a galosh on with my puffer coat and let me have it be fun colors.

• 50:32Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, because you like a coat to be part of the outfit.

• 50:35Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the outfit.

• 50:36Hannah Berner?

  Not ruining the outfit. But also I hate when you put on coats and then you're like stiff. You guys, I literally could swim in this.

• 50:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it feels like it's light, but it's also extremely warm.

• 50:47Hannah Berner?

  It's not overpriced.

• 50:48Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 50:49Hannah Berner?

  And we love giving the gigglers a good deal. And it has space for layering. Like you don't feel like it's tight, so I can layer a lot.

• 50:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Very important because there's nothing worse than like layering and you're stiff and then you're sweating and it's like a cold sweat and it's like, no.

• 51:02Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 51:02Paige DeSorbo?

  And I love that it has these things for your hands because I, I really use them with my thumbs. I love when jackets have this.

• 51:10Hannah Berner?

  So cute. And they have all different length options for what you prefer, depending on how long your torso is. Visit columbia.com to get your hands on an Amaze Puff Jacket.

• 51:20Paige DeSorbo?

  It's tough on cold, soft on you.

• 51:23Speaker 04

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• 51:50Hannah Berner?

  licenses for alarm license information. Hey, it's Hannah and Paige. Thank you so much for tuning into Giggly Squad every week.

• 51:57Paige DeSorbo?

  If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to Sirius XM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcast or visit Sirius XM dot com slash Podcast Plus to listen on Spotify or another app of your choice. Did you see?

• 52:11Hannah Berner?

  Jonathan Bailey and Wicked?

• 52:12Paige DeSorbo?

  No, did you?

• 52:13Hannah Berner?

  Cooper Koch.

• 52:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I have to get over, we have to get over the gay men that are never gonna bark up this tree. Okay, they don't care. They're actually, they're actually repulsed by our parts.

• 52:23Hannah Berner?

  They would be repulsed by me is again, why I need therapy and why I'm obsessed with them. And when they put their stupid straight voice and they go, hey, what's up? I'm like, I come.

• 52:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, no, they'd literally look at your vagina and be like, ew. Yeah. Now, what was it? Oh, did you see Timothy Chalamet?

• 52:43Hannah Berner?

  Oh, with the sports thing?

• 52:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Talking about sports?

• 52:45Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 52:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know one thing he said. I don't, it's that's above my pay grade. I don't give a shit. But I could not.

• 52:52Hannah Berner?

  Was he acting? Like, I didn't, couldn't understand the bit.

• 52:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Who knows? Don't care. I could not stop listening and watching him. There's something about a guy doing, I think because I'm so girly and I love doing like girl stuff that when I see a guy doing like boy shit, I'm like, I'm obsessed with you.

• 53:15Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, yeah, I think it's also like very New York of him. Like, I think he is just like a New Yorker.

• 53:21Paige DeSorbo?

  He is just like a New Yorker.

• 53:22Hannah Berner?

  And he could put it, he could just talk like this. Yeah, he's gonna win the Super Bowl. He's gonna go this and win these games and whatever.

• 53:27Paige DeSorbo?

  It was like, wait, and suddenly I'm pregnant.

• 53:29Hannah Berner?

  Him with the mustache, it's not Jacob Elordi bad?

• 53:33Paige DeSorbo?

  No, nothing's bad as bad as Jacob Elordi. Like, what? Somebody needs to call his mom.

• 53:39Hannah Berner?

  I love that he's lost some power.

• 53:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Jacob Elordi?

• 53:42Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 53:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 53:43Hannah Berner?

  I realize who my celebrity crush like has been. Like, I never like spoke it out loud and I know he's not good for me.

• 53:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 53:49Hannah Berner?

  Like, I know he's bad mood, bad news.

• 53:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's say ours on the, at the same time.

• 53:53Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 53:54Paige DeSorbo?

  One, two, three.

• 53:55Hannah Berner?

  Chris Hemsworth.

• 53:58Hannah Berner?

  You say Theo James?

• 53:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:59Hannah Berner?

  Who's that?

• 54:00Paige DeSorbo?

  He's like this British guy that's in, um, he's in like a lot of random things, but like most recently, he was just in that HBO show.

• 54:09Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 54:10Paige DeSorbo?

  What's that one where they go away on vacation?

• 54:11Hannah Berner?

  Wait, he looks like Matthew Bomber. Are you sure he's straight?

• 54:15Paige DeSorbo?

  He's straight.

• 54:16Hannah Berner?

  Okay, but that is...

• 54:18Paige DeSorbo?

  He's so fucking, that's not even like a good pic.

• 54:20Hannah Berner?

  I know, but-

• 54:20Paige DeSorbo?

  That's like, that's like him younger.

• 54:22Hannah Berner?

  No, no, he's but-

• 54:23Paige DeSorbo?

  He's beautiful.

• 54:24Hannah Berner?

  He's beautiful.

• 54:24Paige DeSorbo?

  And he's swaggy, I feel like, and I think he's tall.

• 54:27Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, but that's not your type.

• 54:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I know, but I like him.

• 54:30Hannah Berner?

  But you like them a little pretty. You like them aesthetically a little pretty. See, I like, I also like Dua Lipa's boyfriend.

• 54:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Who is she?

• 54:38Hannah Berner?

  Who's Dua Lipa?

• 54:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Who is she with?

• 54:41Hannah Berner?

  Callum Turner or something?

• 54:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Is he like skinny with tats?

• 54:46Hannah Berner?

  No, he's like, he just looks like a guy who could take a punch.

• 54:50Paige DeSorbo?

  See, I can't do anyone that like, I, I like Timothy Chalamet, but I can't do someone like skinnier than me.

• 54:57Hannah Berner?

  None of them.

• 54:57Paige DeSorbo?

  One, that'll send me into a fucking tailspin.

• 54:59Hannah Berner?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 54:59Paige DeSorbo?

  And two, like, I don't wanna be able to like snap you in half.

• 55:02Hannah Berner?

  Have I ever been with a skinny man? Oh, my high school boyfriend was like tall and skinny, cuz you know, like, they're, they're going through-

• 55:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, they're going through a weird time.

• 55:10Hannah Berner?

  They're going through a weird time where like they're just getting long.

• 55:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 55:13Hannah Berner?

  But like, it was, it was definitely annoying. Like, he had a, he would do like, accidentally do a skinny arm pose, and I'd be like, no.

• 55:20Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I don't think I've ever dated someone like lanky. Not my brand. I've never dated like a tall, lanky guy.

• 55:29Hannah Berner?

  You love him sturdy.

• 55:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I love them, I love them compacted. I love them stout.

• 55:37Hannah Berner?

  Like, you want your thick baby.

• 55:42Hannah Berner?

  You want a little chunk. You want chunky more.

• 55:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I love a chunk. I love a chunk because I'm like, this is the best day of your life.

• 55:50Hannah Berner?

  And like, again, we're not trying to put dad buds on a pedestal, but there's something to be said about a man who's been working all day, so he's put on a little pouch.

• 55:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, it's also like, most of my life, my type has been either like Italian or Jewish, and sorry, they're chunky. I'm Italian, so I can say this, but I'm sorry, they like, they pack a punch. Like, they-

• 56:10Hannah Berner?

  A hundred percent. I also, I do like Liam Hem- I like aesthetically, I love Liam Hemsworth. Light eyes, whatever. And that clearly he dims women's lights.

• 56:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:21Hannah Berner?

  And not to pick sides.

• 56:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, maybe. I don't know. I was never. Here's the thing I'm gonna.

• 56:26Hannah Berner?

  Why is he single? That's what I'm confused about.

• 56:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never been like a Miley Miley stan. So I was never really as invested in their relationship as other people. I like her and I I've I like her more as I we both get older. I didn't. I was too young for Hannah Montana. So I like feel like.

• 56:41Hannah Berner?

  Also, whenever I met anyone, they'd go, oh, like Hannah Montana? And I'd have to be like, yeah.

• 56:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, like when you'd be like, hi, I'm Hannah.

• 56:48Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, it was really traumatizing.

• 56:49Paige DeSorbo?

  You should have been like, no, Hannah, like banana.

• 56:52Hannah Berner?

  That's what I would say. Like Hannah Banana, that was first. Like Hannah Banana.

• 56:59Hannah Berner?

  Sorry.

• 56:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Instead of Elf on a Shelf, it's Hannah eating a banana.

• 57:03Hannah Berner?

  Can we just talk about all the moms right now whose lives are being tortured by Elf on a Shelf, which I did dress up as?

• 57:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I hope by the time we have kids, that fad's gone.

• 57:12Hannah Berner?

  I'm not doing Elf on the Shelf.

• 57:13Paige DeSorbo?

  No, well, you have to do it if everyone's doing it.

• 57:15Hannah Berner?

  But it wasn't a thing that that we did growing up and we're fine.

• 57:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I know, but think about them going to school and being like, my elf. And then your kid's gonna be like, I don't have an elf.

• 57:24Hannah Berner?

  Elves aren't real.

• 57:25Paige DeSorbo?

  You're gonna be like, you have Snoop on a stoop.

• 57:28Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I love someone messaged me and they're like, hey, I'm a mom and I want to watch Is It Cake? Um, just want to know, do you say Santa isn't real at any point? And I was and I go, honestly,

• 57:38Hannah Berner?

  I don't remember what I said, but I'm I don't think I said that.

• 57:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Actually, when you have children, you they're growing up and like you're doing all the Christmas stuff and you're doing like you're sneaking around like all the Santa's real stuff and all of that. If your child gets to an age where they're still believing in Santa, will you tell them?

• 57:58Hannah Berner?

  This is such a hard question.

• 57:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Or like, are you, are they, is every mom just waiting for like them to find out on their own? Because like, is there an age? Because I feel like there's an age where I'd be like, all right, look, we can't have her be the freaking class. Like, we got, we gotta let her know.

• 58:13Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I I definitely, there have been people in my family who it was like a little late, where it got a little awkward, where everyone was like, hey, just so you know, she still believes.

• 58:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 58:22Hannah Berner?

  And we had to kind of like go with it. I just think there's a part of your brain at a certain age that you realize like. Oh, there's.

• 58:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, how old were you when you found out that Santa wasn't real? If you have kids, oh, my gosh.

• 58:35Hannah Berner?

  I don't.

• 58:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, turn this off.

• 58:37Hannah Berner?

  I don't remember the moment. I think it was. I think. Yeah, I don't, it wasn't like a big deal in my house. I was just like, I don't care who gives me presents. Just give me fucking presents.

• 58:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 58:48Hannah Berner?

  Like, it didn't need to be Santa, but I do, I have thought, like, why would I do that to a kid, like, lie to them? But then I'm like, the magic it creates is so worth it.

• 58:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, in a very truly page coded way, I remember I was in fourth grade. I was hearing murmurs. I was like, oh, all the kids are chatting about.

• 59:02Hannah Berner?

  The gossip.

• 59:03Paige DeSorbo?

  The gossip was so hot on the playground.

• 59:05Hannah Berner?

  The tea was teeing.

• 59:06Paige DeSorbo?

  And Christmas was coming up and I, and I said, you know what? Let me do a little test. And I didn't put on my list, this pair of leather pants that I wanted. I was in fourth grade. I was like, I need these leather pants. Didn't put them on the list like that I knew was going to my mom. And in my head, I was just like, I want these leather pants. And then when they didn't come that Christmas morning, I was like, something's up. Something's up.

• 59:31Hannah Berner?

  My mom would write a note and be like, um, Santa, whatever loves you. And here's a cookie. Or I would write a note to Santa.

• 59:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 59:39Hannah Berner?

  And then she would write a note back with a bitten cookie.

• 59:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 59:42Hannah Berner?

  And when I found out Santa wasn't real, I was like, has this sneaky bitch been writing all those notes?

• 59:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 59:48Hannah Berner?

  You've been writing the letter.

• 59:49Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, who's eating the cookies?

• 59:50Hannah Berner?

  You sneaky little bitch. I just thought my mom was like, I was like, you sly little fox.

• 59:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Because I think, I think there are some kids that like now, like I'm, I, I meet some adults and I'm like, you seem like one of the kids that were in seventh grade. And you're like, no, he is real. And I can't have that energy around me.

• 1:00:10Hannah Berner?

  There's also the weird energy of the kids who were young going around being like, well, my parents said Santa's not real, stupid. And we just believe in science.

• 1:00:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, fuck you, Sam. Like, fuck you.

• 1:00:19Hannah Berner?

  Fuck you that you don't have a hap- happiness in your household. Well, and then.

• 1:00:25Hannah Berner?

  Anyway, um. No, I do have to say like, there is a moment though, when you're a parent, where you're probably like, working so hard to get together and then your kids would just be like, thanks Hannah. And you're like, it was, it was me. But I do think there's a point too, where your kids become grateful that you like, went above and beyond. I'm not doing the elf thing, but everything else to make them happy.

• 1:00:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm gonna make you do that thing.

• 1:00:49Hannah Berner?

  The reason why I spoil my parents and my grandparents now is because of those mornings.

• 1:00:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:55Hannah Berner?

  That like, they spoiled the fuck out of me and the joy it brought, like I'll, that's, it was so important.

• 1:01:01Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually had a moment this year at thirty two years old. This is the first time I've ever decorated my own apartment with like, Christmas stuff. And I was like, that's so crazy. Like the past ten years, living in New York City, I just like, haven't cared about like Christmas decorations. Don't need to put them up. I, it's not like I'm sad about it. I'm like, I just like, don't give a shit. And one of my friends said, well, that's because you must have grown up in a household where your mom made Christmas so special, that you don't like long for it. Like you're just like, oh, I know when I go home, like it's Christmas there. And I was like, wait, that's so true. Like I've never felt like, oh, I'm not in the Christmas spirit. It's just like, no, my mom's gonna do it.

• 1:01:43Hannah Berner?

  My mom is Christmas.

• 1:01:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Doing it.

• 1:01:45Hannah Berner?

  Wow. I do have to say, I saw Paige's house that she grew up in.

• 1:01:50Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I moved there when I was sixteen.

• 1:01:53Hannah Berner?

  But I saw your house for the first time. We went to Troy. And I feel like I couldn't, I already thought I understood you too much. I couldn't understand you more. Like when you walked in, like the aesthetic and everything, I'm just like, oh, this is what Paige gets her taste.

• 1:02:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Walked into my bedroom and I said, it used to be my parents, but I made them trade me.

• 1:02:09Hannah Berner?

  Also, there's a couch outside your bedroom and she goes, that's the waiting area if people want to see me.

• 1:02:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Can't you just come into my room? You have to be invited.

• 1:02:17Hannah Berner?

  For Miranda Priestly.

• 1:02:18Paige DeSorbo?

  You have to be an invited guest.

• 1:02:20Hannah Berner?

  Oh my God. It was, it was amazing. And Kim spoiled us with all the food. But I really feel like you can't be really close to someone without seeing the house that their parents live in, or that they spent some time in.

• 1:02:32Paige DeSorbo?

  No. Oh my God, no.

• 1:02:34Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. I feel like there's moments that I've like. Stopped liking a guy when I went to his house. And I saw the vibes.

• 1:02:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like every boyfriend I've ever had, I'm like, oh, gotta go.

• 1:02:46Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like you're, you're making up, like you just see the tip of the iceberg. When you go to his parents' house, you see the iceberg and what they built.

• 1:02:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, because so many people, it's such like a mixed, you know, and it's like, oh, when you marry someone, you marry their family. But then other people are like, don't go by the family. Like you're marrying the person. I very much, I feel like go by the family. And I've even stayed with boyfriends too long because I'm like, oh, but I love his mom. Like I'm obsessed.

• 1:03:11Hannah Berner?

  No, I know. But I've seen something like a dad has done before and been like, that's literally gonna be him. And that's a no to me. Also, like, sometimes you know those guys who just like tell their mom to shut up and like roll their eyes. And you like never saw that side of him before. And you're like, oh, because you want to fuck me.

• 1:03:27Paige DeSorbo?

  There was only one relationship I ever had and I saw the dad and the way he talked to the mom and like how the mom like reacted. And I remember sitting there and just being like, I will never be in this family and I have to break up with your son literally tomorrow. Cause that just terrified me.

• 1:03:44Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I think the, a lot of gigglers probably have dated guys whose moms are like outgoing fun. Funny, strong women. Cause that's most, if I see the mom and the mom is similar to you, I feel like it's a really good sign. Cause it's like, he respects her, he respects you, you guys are similar. I think that's like a good green flag to look for. Not to be too positive on giggly squad.

• 1:04:12Hannah Berner?

  Oh, Jag, this was from a couple of weeks ago, but I thought it was important to bring up because you're the aesthetic queen.

• 1:04:21Hannah Berner?

  Jaguar, or as they say in Europe, Jaguar.

• 1:04:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Is that how they say it?

• 1:04:25Hannah Berner?

  Jaguar, Jaguar, um, changed their logo. And like, I don't think anyone's ever been passionate about a Jaguar logo before. The internet is up in arms. They're so mad about it.

• 1:04:36Paige DeSorbo?

  They're really upset about it. I.

• 1:04:39Hannah Berner?

  Don't care.

• 1:04:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, they made it very like Gen Z. They made it look like it's literally like a fizzy drink brand.

• 1:04:45Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my God, yeah.

• 1:04:47Paige DeSorbo?

  It looks like it like will get you fucked up if you bring a pack of like a six pack.

• 1:04:51Hannah Berner?

  It's for local.

• 1:04:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:53Hannah Berner?

  It's for local cars.

• 1:04:54Paige DeSorbo?

  It does not give luxury whatsoever. And Jaguar is like a luxury car, but I feel like Jaguar is not that big in America as it is.

• 1:05:03Hannah Berner?

  It's not. And I think they're trying to go really and make it be like more electronic vehicles, like EVs. And maybe they're trying to look more like for the future, but also like, we don't care. And I'm sorry I brought it up.

• 1:05:16Paige DeSorbo?

  It's okay.

• 1:05:17Hannah Berner?

  Because like no one here cares.

• 1:05:20Paige DeSorbo?

  But I think it is an interesting topic with like how many brands are changing their logos to be like more plain.

• 1:05:25Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:25Paige DeSorbo?

  And it's like, I like a good logo.

• 1:05:29Hannah Berner?

  My final thought.

• 1:05:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:31Hannah Berner?

  Is, um, there was a meme that said, why is there nothing funnier than your friend saying a word wrong? And I realized that's our entire podcast. It's just me and you trying to put words together and not doing it. And then it's calling it a day.

• 1:05:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like one of my earliest memories of you, is this real or is this you or someone else? I'm gonna say it, but I'm pretty sure it's you. I feel like, were we ever walking down the street one day and you tried to say the word espadrille, but you said the word Esmeralda? Was that you? I feel like it was. And it was like the funniest thing that's ever happened to me in my life. And I was like, what'd you just say? And you're like, she's wearing Es- Esmeralda's.

• 1:06:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I think you're trying to say espadrille.

• 1:06:17Hannah Berner?

  And that is Giggly Squad, the one, oh, shout out to Burner Phone. If you guys aren't listening to Burner Phone, you should. It's basically Giggly Squad, but if Dez corrected me when I said it wrong.

• 1:06:28Paige DeSorbo?

  It's as if I had knowledge. It's Giggly Squad, but the second co-host is knowledgeable.

• 1:06:33Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. If you enjoy Giggly Squad, I highly recommend you listen to Burner Phone. Um, we have also an exciting announcement. Tour 2024 is done, but we're not done, bitches. We're not done. We are announcing the new show's added pre-sale goes up on Wednesday, December 11th at 10 a.m. with the code Giggly. Nashville, Tennessee. And you thought we were gonna forget about you. New Orleans. St. Augustine, Florida, where we don't know where that is, but it's gonna be good weather, and Hollywood, Florida, Tacoma, Washington, Portland, Oregon.

• 1:07:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I almost lost my virginity in Hollywood, Florida.

• 1:07:12Hannah Berner?

  Portland, Oregon, for some granola, Vegas, because how could we not? And then ending with our Mormon sisters in Salt Lake City.

• 1:07:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I'm so excited to go to Salt Lake City.

• 1:07:26Hannah Berner?

  I know, I'm so excited. It's actually like lit, like everyone's just fucked up on Coca-Cola.

• 1:07:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Maybe we'll stay out there and like do a little ski vacay. We won't ski, but we'll go to a ski place.

• 1:07:37Hannah Berner?

  Okay, I'll do that, but I'm not skiing. I retired. I've announced my retirement, even though the Olympics keeps reaching out.

• 1:07:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally just want to get, put the outfit on, get a picture and go.

• 1:07:45Hannah Berner?

  No, it's literally perfect. Um, also, I released some We Ride It Don merch. Check it out right now, HannahBarn.com, and go watch Paige on Amazon every week. Forever.

• 1:07:58Paige DeSorbo?

  For the rest of your life.

• 1:08:00Hannah Berner?

  For the rest of her life. Um, we love you guys so much. Thanks for getting with us. Talk to you later.

• 1:08:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Bye.

• 1:08:10Speaker 04

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• 1:08:40Hannah Berner?

  Hey, it's Hannah and Paige. Thank you so much for tuning into Giggly Squad every week.

• 1:08:45Paige DeSorbo?

  If you want to hear new episodes ad-free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcast or visit siriusxm.com/podcastplus to listen on Spotify or another app of your choice.