"RE-RELEASE: Jon Hamm"

The guys go full-Yamaha this week with avid golfer, Jon Hamm. It’s mad, man. This episode was originally released on 4/4/2022.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smartless is sponsored by Google Book. So the other day, I wanted to make invitations for my dog Ricky's birthday party. And I've got three things open on my laptop. An adorable photo of Ricky, a picture of a birthday cake, and the RSVP details. Thing is, as much as I look like one, I'm not a canine birthday party invitation designer. That's where Google Book comes in. It's a whole new kind of laptop with a feature called Magic Pointer. I just click the photos and different elements on my screen, and boom, Magic Pointer designs a customized birthday party invitation for Ricky. Click anything on your screen to create whatever you want. Visit googlebook.com. Available to 18-plus users.

• 0:44Sean Hayes?

  Compatibility and availability vary.

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• 1:29Sean Hayes?

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• 2:06Sean Hayes?

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• 2:45Will Arnett?

  Hey, it's Jon Hamm. I got here early and set my tech up very quickly, so of course I'm waiting for three idiots. Welcome to Smartless.

• 3:10Jason Bateman?

  Oh my god, that gives me... Is that Yaz?

• 3:12Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, Yaz it is.

• 3:13Jason Bateman?

  That brings me back to... I met... I went to Chicago once to work the phones at a charity, or a telethon.

• 3:24Sean Hayes?

  Jason, what have you done with my Jason?

• 3:26Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, and I met a girl there, and she was also working the phones. And we fell in love.

• 3:32Sean Hayes?

  And?

• 3:33Jason Bateman?

  And I was 15, and I went back home. I talked to my mom about this love I fell in with this girl in Chicago for a whole, full week. She said, "Why don't you go back and see her? I'll take you, I'll go with you." I was like, "Great." My mom and I got back on a plane the following weekend, went back to Chicago, and I had the most-

• 3:51Sean Hayes?

  Because you told her you fell in love with a girl?

• 3:53Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, working the phone banks with me at this telethon. And we had a magical weekend. And that was that. All we listened to was Yaz the whole weekend.

• 4:01Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, "Only You," it's one of the best songs ever. Now, Jason, did you know that the guy who wrote all those Yaz songs, wrote all those Erager songs, and wrote Depeche Mode songs?

• 4:11Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 4:12Sean Hayes?

  Vince Clark.

• 4:12Will Arnett?

  Not all of them, but a lot of them.

• 4:14Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, a bunch of it. Well, Vince Clark was the writer of Yaz, and then he went to Depeche Mode and wrote, you know, "Just Can't Get Enough" and all those kind of songs. Then he went, then he left Depeche Mode and went to Erager and wrote all the songs.

• 4:23Will Arnett?

  So now, let me ask you this. Here's a little, here's a... Sean, you might know that, you probably do, the name of the lead singer of Yaz. What was her name?

• 4:31Sean Hayes?

  Alison Moye.

• 4:32Jason Bateman?

  Wow.

• 4:32Will Arnett?

  Again, I said, you may know this, but yeah, okay.

• 4:34Jason Bateman?

  Well, do you guys?

• 4:35Will Arnett?

  Don't give Jason a chance. Yeah, go ahead.

• 4:37Jason Bateman?

  Did you guys know what the music festival was where Queen?

• 4:43Sean Hayes?

  Love this new game show we have.

• 4:44Jason Bateman?

  Queen, uh, Queen was the headliner and Yaz led in for them. It was called Yaz Queen.

• 4:51Jason Bateman?

  And, um, it was, it was pre, it predated Lollapalooza.

• 4:55Sean Hayes?

  I can't believe I'm laughing at that. So stupid.

• 4:58Will Arnett?

  Look who had a good one.

• 5:01Sean Hayes?

  Yaz Queen.

• 5:02Will Arnett?

  Even a stopped clock.

• 5:07Sean Hayes?

  I want to ask you guys what the worst trouble you got as a kid, because here's why. Because whenever I'm, I'm like five minutes late to rehearsal, whatever, however late I'm in rehearsal here in Chicago. You know, I feel like I get in trouble like I was a kid. So I was talking to Scotty about that. And Scotty's like, I asked Scotty, what's the worst trouble you got as a kid? Scotty got his mouth washed out with soap from the nuns in Catholic school. He was about six or seven years old and he got in trouble because he was making fart noises on his arm in the bathroom.

• 5:32Jason Bateman?

  Oh, boy.

• 5:33Sean Hayes?

  And they literally took soap and they really, literally scrubbed his mouth.

• 5:36Will Arnett?

  Why, they should have scrubbed his armpit.

• 5:38Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 5:39Sean Hayes?

  Uh, but you know what he did?

• 5:40Will Arnett?

  With the soap?

• 5:40Sean Hayes?

  He breathed in to make his mouth all dry so that it wouldn't suds up.

• 5:46Sean Hayes?

  You under our guest or?

• 5:48Will Arnett?

  I mean.

• 5:51Will Arnett?

  What, what are you, are you trying to?

• 5:52Jason Bateman?

  Will, Will, can you, can you top, uh, Scotty's, Scotty's dry wash?

• 5:57Will Arnett?

  I mean, there have been a lot of stories of heroes over the years and that is really, people really, when their backs against the wall, forced to come up with, uh, right?

• 6:07Jason Bateman?

  Louis Scott outsmarted them.

• 6:09Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 6:09Jason Bateman?

  You know, there's no fluid in my mouth, so you will not get suds, ma'am.

• 6:13Sean Hayes?

  But I always thought that was like a not real thing, that you got your mouth washed out with soap, but he got his mouth.

• 6:18Jason Bateman?

  That once happened to me.

• 6:19Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 6:19Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 6:20Will Arnett?

  I, one time my mom went to hit me with a wooden spoon, true story. And I was in the kitchen and I was being mouthy, I guess. I can't imagine.

• 6:28Jason Bateman?

  No.

• 6:29Will Arnett?

  How.

• 6:29Jason Bateman?

  Probably not.

• 6:30Will Arnett?

  And I was sweeping. I was holding a broom and I was sweeping and she went and I said something and she went to swat me with the wooden spoon and I put the broom up to block it and it broke the wooden spoon in half. My timing was perfect and it snapped it in half. And there was a moment of like, huh, what just happened? And then we both burst into laughter.

• 6:48Sean Hayes?

  Oh, that's nice.

• 6:48Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 6:49Jason Bateman?

  Well, because you said you better step, step off.

• 6:51Will Arnett?

  Well, just because I was able to block her so easily and then.

• 6:54Sean Hayes?

  Well, just the whole topic of, the whole topic of, of abuse in families is.

• 6:59Will Arnett?

  Well, she went to hit me on the butt with the, with the wooden spoon and I don't know.

• 7:03Jason Bateman?

  Next time, does she come at you with a metal spatula? Because that's what I would have done. Would have learned my lesson.

• 7:07Will Arnett?

  You know, I, I know it. I guess these days I, I don't even want to get into the broader conversation because.

• 7:14Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, well, no, hang on a second. Let's talk about, um, uh, how you discipline your children and what, what you advocate for.

• 7:22Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I want to open that up and I, I'd like to open it up to the world and I, and not only that, I want to hear their opinions on it.

• 7:30Sean Hayes?

  He would never do anything.

• 7:31Will Arnett?

  No, of course not.

• 7:32Sean Hayes?

  Guys, here we go. Ready? Mind if I, I gotta burp. I'm not gonna burp right now.

• 7:37Jason Bateman?

  Would this guest appreciate something like that?

• 7:38Sean Hayes?

  He wouldn't care. He wouldn't care.

• 7:40Will Arnett?

  You didn't even wait for our answer. You said, do you mind if I burp? And then you just were gonna do it. You didn't.

• 7:44Sean Hayes?

  I was gonna.

• 7:45Will Arnett?

  Why bother saying it? There's just, uh.

• 7:46Jason Bateman?

  Was it a false alarm? Because I didn't see you burp.

• 7:48Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 7:48Sean Hayes?

  No, it came up. It was right on the, whatever this is, part of your throat is, but it didn't.

• 7:53Will Arnett?

  You are, you are, I will say, after having been on the road with you for 10 days, almost two weeks.

• 7:58Sean Hayes?

  I'm a burper.

• 7:59Will Arnett?

  You're quite a burper.

• 8:00Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah, you are a loud burper like me. You like to, you like to.

• 8:04Sean Hayes?

  What?

• 8:04Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, no, you like to kind of yell your burp.

• 8:07Will Arnett?

  Well, Jason, you like to do the burp that's almost like is, you pretend as if you're about to.

• 8:12Jason Bateman?

  Throw up.

• 8:12Will Arnett?

  Completely throw up and you go.

• 8:15Sean Hayes?

  But I do the same thing. I do the same thing.

• 8:17Jason Bateman?

  I will say that, uh, it to both of your credits, um, you, neither one of you have bubble problems from the other end.

• 8:24Will Arnett?

  No.

• 8:25Sean Hayes?

  I don't have too many bubble problems.

• 8:27Will Arnett?

  Bubble problems from the other.

• 8:30Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. This guy's amazing. Let's get, he, I don't want to waste his time. He's received, guys, 16 Emmy nominations for one television show.

• 8:39Will Arnett?

  Huh.

• 8:40Sean Hayes?

  You guessed enough of that, no?

• 8:42Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I'm gonna say, uh, well, wait, so that's 16 years.

• 8:46Sean Hayes?

  Well, no, it could be for other things.

• 8:48Will Arnett?

  It could be multiple.

• 8:49Jason Bateman?

  Multiple, uh.

• 8:49Will Arnett?

  It could be writing and producing and.

• 8:51Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, sure. He's one of the, he's one of the rares that's known for both comedy and drama, and his films are some of the best ever made. This, I didn't know about him. He returned to his high school in St. Louis, Missouri, to teach 8th grade acting, and one of his students was Ellie Kemper. I didn't know that.

• 9:05Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 9:06Sean Hayes?

  Because I loved this, and I hope we talk about it for the entire episode. He's an avid golfer.

• 9:10Jason Bateman?

  Uh-oh.

• 9:10Sean Hayes?

  It's none other than the dashingly handsome, the talented.

• 9:13Jason Bateman?

  Very relatable.

• 9:14Sean Hayes?

  Jon Hamm.

• 9:15Will Arnett?

  What?

• 9:19Will Arnett?

  What?

• 9:20Sean Hayes?

  Did I get any of that right, Jon?

• 9:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, you got it all right.

• 9:23Sean Hayes?

  I did, really?

• 9:24Jason Bateman?

  Him, you have to say, uh, I don't think I've ever been immediately put in a good mood from any of our previous guests.

• 9:31Speaker 03

  It was a pretty low bar, given the fart burp conversation that I stumbled onto, but.

• 9:35Sean Hayes?

  Do you want to join in?

• 9:36Jason Bateman?

  You just perked me up.

• 9:39Speaker 03

  Hi, boys.

• 9:40Jason Bateman?

  Jon.

• 9:40Will Arnett?

  What's happening, Ham?

• 9:42Speaker 03

  It's been a minute. How you doing?

• 9:43Jason Bateman?

  Oh, Jon.

• 9:45Will Arnett?

  The best or nothing.

• 9:47Jason Bateman?

  Yes, exactly.

• 9:48Will Arnett?

  We got three car guys on here. Sean.

• 9:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, come on, Sean.

• 9:50Will Arnett?

  Get a fucking car contract for crying out.

• 9:52Jason Bateman?

  Or how about a motorcycle, Sean? Let me hear, let me hear you sell a Yamaha right now.

• 9:56Sean Hayes?

  Okay, ready? Hey, guys, are you in a hurry? Get a Yamaha.

• 10:01Will Arnett?

  Wait, you're advocating, they're gonna be like, no, no, no, we don't want to advocate for people to speed if you're in a hurry.

• 10:07Jason Bateman?

  Hey, guys, pissed off at those dudes cutting line by going right in between your cars? Get a Yamaha.

• 10:14Will Arnett?

  Hey, guys, why don't we weave in and out of traffic?

• 10:18Speaker 03

  Hey, we make musical instruments and motorcycles. That's not weird.

• 10:23Jason Bateman?

  You can play our car.

• 10:24Will Arnett?

  Do you want to ride up to your baby grand in style? Hey, I wonder how many products Yamaha makes. They make, they make musical instruments. They make pianos, obviously.

• 10:34Jason Bateman?

  Yes.

• 10:35Will Arnett?

  They make guitars?

• 10:36Speaker 03

  They make, I know they make violins, because I had one in third grade.

• 10:40Jason Bateman?

  A Yamaha violin? I've never heard.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  I believe I did.

• 10:42Jason Bateman?

  Whoa.

• 10:43Sean Hayes?

  How long did you play violin?

• 10:44Speaker 03

  I think until about sixth grade.

• 10:46Jason Bateman?

  And then?

• 10:48Speaker 03

  And then it just got too, I could never really read music. It got too complicated. I just, I could, I could, I can still kind of do it from memory, like that weird, long, long-term memory where you remember lyrics of songs, but like, you know, your mom's birthday somehow, you forget. Um, I, it's the, it's the weirdest thing how you're bringing.

• 11:07Jason Bateman?

  Quick, what's your mom's birthday?

• 11:09Speaker 03

  February 1st.

• 11:10Jason Bateman?

  Oh, well, that's easy. That's a, oh, happy birthday. Who would forget that?

• 11:12Speaker 03

  That's a very easy day.

• 11:13Jason Bateman?

  Um, did you move on to a different instrument, or did you just say, screw it?

• 11:17Speaker 03

  No, I think that's when like, sports became kind of paramount, and I just did that.

• 11:22Jason Bateman?

  What'd you jump into in sports?

• 11:24Speaker 03

  Uh, football, baseball, swimming, soccer, basketball, what have you. It was.

• 11:28Jason Bateman?

  Were you, were you kind, were you kind of good at all of them?

• 11:31Speaker 03

  I was better at football, baseball, but I was kind of good at a lot of stuff. This is the high school I went to. It says Borough's Baseball. This is my baseball shirt from 10th grade.

• 11:40Will Arnett?

  Is that your actual 10th grade t-shirt?

• 11:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, from.

• 11:43Jason Bateman?

  Congratulations.

• 11:45Sean Hayes?

  God, what brand is that? That's really holding up.

• 11:47Speaker 03

  I think it's a Champion.

• 11:48Jason Bateman?

  Will's high school t-shirts now, beautiful midriff that he wears every once in a while.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  It's turned into an homage to 90s Britney Spears.

• 11:58Will Arnett?

  Jason's high school t-shirt is a Warner Brothers Lot Tour shirt.

• 12:05Jason Bateman?

  It's a tank, okay?

• 12:07Sean Hayes?

  It's got a cap to match it.

• 12:10Speaker 03

  It's from Upfronts. They, they came in after Alf.

• 12:12Will Arnett?

  It's from Upfronts. 1988 Upfronts.

• 12:18Jason Bateman?

  I didn't know that about high school where you graduated with an English degree. And then went back to your high school to teach it because that's kind of like a, I'm one of the few people that loved high school. And clearly you did too.

• 12:30Speaker 03

  I went to a really excellent high school, the aforementioned John Burroughs High School in St. Louis, Missouri. And we had like crazy, you know, we were encouraged to try everything. So it was like arts and sports and academics. And everybody was sort of encouraged to achieve and do well. And that sort of was the ethos of the whole joint. So, you know, you didn't have to be good at it, but you had to try. And that was the fun of it all. And exposing, getting exposed to like all of these different disciplines was really, was really cool. And it wasn't, you know, there weren't like the jocks and the nerds and the sportos or whatever the Edie McClurg thing from Ferris Bueller is of all of the gradations. They were all kind of.

• 13:10Jason Bateman?

  Call on Edie McClurg.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  Come on, you gotta know McClurg. You gotta have McClurg at the top of the.

• 13:15Jason Bateman?

  I did, I did a show with her for five years.

• 13:17Speaker 03

  Did you really?

• 13:17Jason Bateman?

  Love that woman. Yeah. Hey, so, but now, John, don't, don't be falsely modest here, but I've got you between the jocks and the nerds. I've got you heavier over on the jock side.

• 13:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, the dial's twisted a little to that side, for sure.

• 13:29Jason Bateman?

  You did very well in high school. Is that, was that a fair statement?

• 13:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, I graduated with honors and yeah.

• 13:35Jason Bateman?

  That's not what I'm talking about.

• 13:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, it is.

• 13:37Jason Bateman?

  You did okay? Did you do all right?

• 13:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay.

• 13:40Will Arnett?

  Why do you keep winking at him?

• 13:41Speaker 03

  It's not winking.

• 13:42Jason Bateman?

  Did you, uh, look, we're talking about sports. Did you score, did you score a lot?

• 13:45Speaker 03

  Scored a lot of points. Scored a lot of points. Played a lot of defense.

• 13:49Jason Bateman?

  Did you put a lot in the bucket?

• 13:50Will Arnett?

  That's how good he was. He had to play a lot of defense.

• 13:51Jason Bateman?

  Put a lot of balls in the basket?

• 13:53Speaker 03

  I don't know where this metaphor is going.

• 13:54Will Arnett?

  Jason, has Amanda got you like on a no fly list? What's going on right now? Are you not? What's going on?

• 14:01Jason Bateman?

  Well, then how did, all right. So then, so then you start to feather in.

• 14:04Sean Hayes?

  Jason, fix your hair.

• 14:05Jason Bateman?

  I'm sorry. You start to feather in some theater, right? Did that, did that?

• 14:08Will Arnett?

  Feather, feather and then braid. And then did you braid anything in?

• 14:12Jason Bateman?

  I don't have a lot of terms. Will's so tired of my shit. It's new to John. So be, be hush, hush.

• 14:18Speaker 03

  There was, there was some theater feathering for sure.

• 14:21Jason Bateman?

  Did the jocks ostracize you for that? That's a new one, Will. I'm gonna, I'm gonna feather that one in. Did they ostracize you? And then did the nerds embrace and receive you?

• 14:31Speaker 03

  Like I said, no, not really. Cause there, there was a real blend of, talk about feathering. We were, both groups were feathered together quite well.

• 14:38Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  And, um. The jocks were all over. We did the, the senior production, senior year production was Godspell. So, uh, and, and as in most high school productions, they were, you know, thirty-five roles and they've split up roles and you would, you would do half a song and, with the exception of me, who played Judas and the, uh, the kid who played Jesus. So, um, yeah, you know, it was, it was fun and exciting and it was, you know, it was something to do and it just, it was encouraged. So, we all did it. It was fun.

• 15:12Jason Bateman?

  If I looked at your high school picture, did you have luxurious hair?

• 15:15Speaker 03

  I had a good flow in eighty-nine.

• 15:18Jason Bateman?

  Sure.

• 15:18Speaker 03

  Real good flow.

• 15:19Jason Bateman?

  Real solid, huh?

• 15:20Speaker 03

  Bateman-esque, I would say.

• 15:22Will Arnett?

  Jason, this is, I think Ham's giving you a run for your money. He's got a great flow.

• 15:26Jason Bateman?

  He can have it. John wins every category with any man on the planet. You know, you can't, you're foolish. You just chase the silver with him. That's it.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  It's just nice to be nominated in any category.

• 15:36Sean Hayes?

  Wait, Johnny, when you went back to teach at your high school, was there anybody still there that you knew?

• 15:42Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Yeah, tons, tons of teachers that I knew and loved. Um, so it was kind of a trip.

• 15:47Sean Hayes?

  Now, teaching beside them?

• 15:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. They were now colleagues, which was really cool.

• 15:51Sean Hayes?

  That's crazy.

• 15:51Speaker 03

  And in fact, the guy who was, who was pretty much responsible for me becoming a professional actor, giving me the encouragement and hiring me and got me my equity card eventually.

• 16:01Jason Bateman?

  Wow.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  Uh, I kind of taught under him as his, that was my pitch was like, look, you're so, such a good teacher that you, you made this department like a fun thing to do. So you have way too many students. So you need a, you need a helper. And basically I'll be the like junior theater teacher, if you'll have me, and they did.

• 16:21Jason Bateman?

  And when was that?

• 16:22Speaker 03

  I graduated college in ninety-three, so this would have been ninety-four, ninety-four, ninety-five. And then I moved to LA in ninety-five.

• 16:27Will Arnett?

  Wow. I did too. Okay.

• 16:30Jason Bateman?

  Wow, geez, what a coincidence.

• 16:32Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 16:32Jason Bateman?

  Lower your eyebrows, Sean.

• 16:35Will Arnett?

  Fuck.

• 16:36Jason Bateman?

  A lot of people hit the airport in ninety-five out here. Like a million a day.

• 16:40Speaker 03

  I remember we auditioned up against each other all the time, Sean, so it was.

• 16:45Jason Bateman?

  All the time?

• 16:46Speaker 03

  Wait a minute. Lost another one there.

• 16:47Will Arnett?

  And then I went on the four oh five. I was on the four oh five bill. What car? What exit did you go on?

• 16:54Speaker 03

  Cause I was on the four oh five.

• 17:00Sean Hayes?

  Okay, wait.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  I came here so long ago, it was the 404. Thank you. Hell, I'm getting sashimi, okay?

• 17:08Sean Hayes?

  Wait a minute. Wait.

• 17:12Sean Hayes?

  Wait, sorry, John, when we were on tour, Will or Jason, one of them came up. It was Will. The best pun in the history of pun. It was the dumbest. We were eating Japanese food.

• 17:22Will Arnett?

  I kept going, I was too lazy to make dinner, so I ordered some Japanese food. Sashimi.

• 17:32Will Arnett?

  It's so stupid. And we were so punch drunk and tired, we couldn't stop laughing.

• 17:37Sean Hayes?

  Oh, God, was that funny? I was crying real tears. And we will be right back.

• 17:46Sean Hayes?

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• 18:31Sean Hayes?

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• 18:58Sean Hayes?

  Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections on by default. Built-in content settings for the content teens can see, contact limits for who can contact them, and time management tools like daily time limits and sleep mode. Teens are automatically placed into teen accounts, and teens under 16 will need a parent's permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 19:41Jason Bateman?

  This episode of Smartless is brought to you in part by SkinnyPop popcorn. So I think one of the great journeys in life is finding the snack that's right for you. You know, and it's constantly changing, but what is constant is the love of popcorn I think that we all have. So finding a snack that tastes great and feels like a solid choice should not be more complicated than solving a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle. SkinnyPop popcorn, made with simple quality ingredients, always satisfies. No overthinking required. No jigsaw puzzle assembly required. It's a no-brainer.

• 20:25Jason Bateman?

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• 21:11Sean Hayes?

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• 21:54Sean Hayes?

  Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Smartless. It's the best way to support the show.

• 22:15Jason Bateman?

  And now, back to the show. John, would you ever consider doing something so generous and loving and give-back-ish as going, as teaching the eighth-grade class? Now that you got the 16 Emmys, this incredible career...

• 22:31Speaker 03

  Nominations.

• 22:32Jason Bateman?

  Nominations, sorry.

• 22:33Sean Hayes?

  That's crazy. Is that the most nominations anybody's ever received for one show? It's gotta be a record.

• 22:38Speaker 03

  I don't think so.

• 22:39Sean Hayes?

  That's crazy.

• 22:40Speaker 03

  I think there's been... Because they were kind of, they were for... Eventually, I became a producer on the show, so I got nominated for Best Show and things like that.

• 22:47Will Arnett?

  But you won three as an actor?

• 22:49Speaker 03

  I won one.

• 22:50Jason Bateman?

  Oh.

• 22:51Speaker 03

  I won one for the final season of Batman. But I was nominated, I think, as a guest star on SNL and on 30 Rock and a couple of things like that. So I think those have been lumped in there.

• 23:01Jason Bateman?

  What'd you do with all the speeches? What'd you do with the 15 speeches that you didn't use?

• 23:05Speaker 03

  I still got them.

• 23:06Jason Bateman?

  I'll bet you do, right?

• 23:06Speaker 03

  I still got them right up here.

• 23:08Jason Bateman?

  No, no, did you memorize them or did you write them down?

• 23:10Speaker 03

  No, no, no, I didn't write anything. I never wrote anything down, ever.

• 23:13Jason Bateman?

  You didn't have any sort of thoughts prepared? If I get up there, I want to make sure I don't forget to thank...

• 23:20Speaker 03

  Honestly, no. I really didn't.

• 23:22Will Arnett?

  Did you, Jason, did you write a few of the times that you lost?

• 23:26Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah. No, I've got a book. Yeah.

• 23:28Will Arnett?

  You did write them down.

• 23:29Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 23:29Speaker 03

  I was an early adopter for when Bateman won. I was right there on, probably number four on the text chain. Congrats, buddy.

• 23:36Jason Bateman?

  John is incredibly supportive.

• 23:38Speaker 03

  Love you.

• 23:39Jason Bateman?

  Consistent.

• 23:40Will Arnett?

  Oh, fuck, you know what? That's a good point. Congrats, Jason.

• 23:43Jason Bateman?

  What happened?

• 23:44Will Arnett?

  I know it's been a couple of years. No, you winning the Emmy. Sorry, I don't think I ever said anything.

• 23:49Speaker 03

  Hey, better late than never.

• 23:50Jason Bateman?

  Wait.

• 23:51Speaker 03

  Sashimi.

• 23:51Jason Bateman?

  Sashimi.

• 23:56Sean Hayes?

  You know what? Will can use the same joke again, another one from the tour, which was when I said to Jason, I got him golf balls for Christmas, like two sets of 18 golf balls each or something. And I said, did you ever get that? And he goes, yeah, I already had those. And Will goes, that's a twist on thank you.

• 24:17Jason Bateman?

  Wait, what did I say? I already had those?

• 24:20Will Arnett?

  No, Sean, you said that you dropped them. Sean, you go, I gave you like a couple of boxes of golf balls. You came over to my house and I gave them to you and go, and Jason, you said, oh, yeah, yeah, I did get those. I said, well, that's a fun twist on thank you.

• 24:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's pronounced, thank you.

• 24:38Sean Hayes?

  That's pronounced, thank you.

• 24:39Jason Bateman?

  I don't think that happened. I think you're both allowed.

• 24:42Sean Hayes?

  Wait, back to Jason's question. Would you ever go back and teach now, John? Would you ever do that? Desire still there?

• 24:48Speaker 03

  I sure would. I was offered a chance to extend my contract by another year. And I would have loved to have done it, but I was 24, turning 25 at the time. And I thought, well, maybe I'm at least gonna try to do LA, see what happens. And, you know, I did. And I really would, though. I found it tremendously fulfilling. I don't know what teaching is like now with phones and internet. This was pre-internet, pre-phone.

• 25:15Jason Bateman?

  Well, that's what I was gonna kind of ask, like, what teaching would be like now for you, though? Like, you as an acting teacher then versus how you would teach acting now? Not to get into acting weeds, because we'll lose our one listener. But like, as your whole theory about acting, like, how would you teach the kids now? Would it be different?

• 25:33Speaker 03

  It would probably be similar, if not identical. I would just have much more credibility as a 50-year-old rather than a 24-year-old guy trying to wear a tie.

• 25:44Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 25:44Will Arnett?

  What was the gig that you had? What was the job you had right before Mad Men?

• 25:49Speaker 03

  Um, I was kind of unemployed for like, I, I, I got a pilot, which I got fired off of. And then I tested for seven other pilots the following pilot season and got none, I could went all, you know, all the way up to the top and then.

• 26:06Jason Bateman?

  Seven times. Oh, my God.

• 26:08Speaker 03

  So Mad Men was my eighth test that season and it was crazy late in the, in what used to be called pilot season because it was on AMC, which didn't really know how to do pilot season. So they just had a different schedule than everybody else, but I had tested seven times and, and biffed them all. So, yeah, so my, my last job was a pilot that was called something that then went on to be called a show called Related with Lizzie Kaplan, Jennifer Spizito and.

• 26:40Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:41Speaker 03

  Someone else. And I played the love interest of, God, why am I spacing on her name? She was in Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts.

• 26:49Jason Bateman?

  San Giacomo?

• 26:50Speaker 03

  Yes, Laura San Giacomo. So Laura San Giacomo was the eldest of three siblings and I was her love interest and the, and she killed herself on this pilot. She was wonderful in it and they forced her call every day and she had a kid at home. It was like, they treated her terribly. And then they fired her and the powers that be said, you're out. And then they told me, they're like, but you're, we like you and you're gonna stay. I was like, there's no part for like, that was my love interest. I don't have a, a person and I'm not in the family. So it doesn't make sense. No, no, no, no, no. And they kept me, kept me, kept me. And I had to turn down another couple of jobs that now I was available for. And then they, they released my option on the last day and fired me. So that was, that was my last gig before Mad Men.

• 27:34Will Arnett?

  That's so crazy. And, and what, what, what a change of perspective you have now on the other end of it. And we all know, we've been there of, just, just, just hearing you describe it brings almost like PTSD.

• 27:46Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, for sure. Well, yeah, like you said, we've all, we've all had a version of that of just like.

• 27:51Jason Bateman?

  For sure.

• 27:52Speaker 03

  Oh, this is gonna go. Oh, it didn't. And then it's gonna go in the far worse way than ever possibly could have.

• 27:57Jason Bateman?

  Right. And a good example of while it probably felt like hell at the time, had that show kept going, had they not fired you, you, you would have been unavailable to do Mad Men. So it was a, a great. Everything happens. Yeah, everything happens for a reason.

• 28:12Speaker 03

  So you're saying, look at the bright side of things, which I, you know, I'm gonna say, I agree with.

• 28:17Jason Bateman?

  There's plenty of fluid in that glass.

• 28:19Sean Hayes?

  Johnny, I read somewhere that you, after Mad Men, you got offered like 800 parts where it took place in the 60s, or some kind of same thing over and over and over and over again. But you were smart enough to wait out, wait for that one good thing, and what was that one thing?

• 28:35Speaker 03

  Well, there's, there's, obviously like, as soon as one thing hits, then there's five versions of that thing that come down the pike. And so for us, it was NBC came out with something like called like Pan Am. Something that was about like sexy stewardesses in the 60s. And then like, there was some other version of like Woodstock and, and it was just all this stuff. And, and, you know, then the like, the movie Revolution Road came out. Like, there were all of these kind of things that the 60s became kind of a, a hot commodity, or at least the late 60s. And, and it was, and not only that, it was just, yeah, it was like, so if there was a brooding, dark character that smoked and drank a lot, then I got that script.

• 29:18Speaker 03

  And I was kind of like, that's my day job. Like, I don't, and I, and I love it. And I get to do it at a, at a very high level and I very much appreciate it. But it's my day job. Like, I would rather do something radically different.

• 29:31Sean Hayes?

  Was any part of you like, oh God, you know, I know what it's like to not work so much that maybe I should just take one of these things?

• 29:37Speaker 03

  Like, the, the immediate instinct when you have that is to just grab everything with both hands and hold on for dear life. But I don't know, there was something, I guess, I was older, I was 36 at the time, 37, like, I was kind of like, eh, all right, I got this. This seems to be going really well. But then like, you know, Lorne Michaels came calling and said like, why don't you host the show? And I was literally like, this has to be a prank. I don't understand. And I, yes, yes. And in fact, I had to turn it down the first time he asked because my then girlfriend at the time and I were, had planned this huge trip, like, I'd never been to Greece. We had like, had planned this whole like, Two week long getaway and it was like we couldn't, we couldn't move it.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  But I was like, well, I get to say no to Lorne Michaels.

• 30:26Jason Bateman?

  Sean will never go to Mykonos again. Tell him what happened.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, Sean. What happened, Sean?

• 30:30Jason Bateman?

  Jesus. Didn't know me too well. I love the highlights.

• 30:34Will Arnett?

  John, I, you know, it's funny, Mad Men was and, and remains such an incredibly, like, it's one of those shows that really changed, I feel like in a lot of ways changed TV, changed the way that people look at TV, was one of incredible, incredible writing. And you were so incredible in it. And I, and I'll tell you, here's a testament to how great you are, you were in that part and you are, because it still lives on. When I actually started watching it in earnest, I had already known you a few years and then started watching it and was completely immersed in it and could not get enough of it and watched absolutely every episode all the way through to the end and was really profoundly

• 31:17Will Arnett?

  moved by your performance as Don Draper, honestly. And it, it, really, really, really, truly, and.

• 31:25Sean Hayes?

  It's historical now.

• 31:26Will Arnett?

  Absolutely.

• 31:27Jason Bateman?

  Did it change the way you acted around John when you, when you'd hang out with him afterwards?

• 31:31Will Arnett?

  No, no, no, but yes, of course, but, but, but I think.

• 31:35Speaker 03

  Way more deferential.

• 31:36Will Arnett?

  Way more. Well, let's see what John has to say. I don't know.

• 31:40Speaker 03

  He's my friend, my friend John.

• 31:41Will Arnett?

  My friend John is. John, do you want anything?

• 31:47Speaker 03

  I mean, I wasn't going out, but I will. I will totally go out.

• 31:51Will Arnett?

  The kids are in bed and the doors are locked, but I'll get up. No, I'll get dressed. I'll get dressed. But, but did, so you do something like that, that changes your life in so many ways.

• 32:03Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 32:04Will Arnett?

  And it's at first scary probably and weird. Like you say, Lorne Michaels is calling you and like.

• 32:10Sean Hayes?

  And you, and it didn't happen at 18 years old, right?

• 32:13Speaker 03

  I, to this day, you know, Jason, God, I do be, your life and, and growing up the way you grew up, being famous since you were six. I remember you on Silver Spoons, I'll say it. I mean, and I was a fan. I was a fan early on. I was like, this kid's good. I get it. But, uh, yeah, it, it changes everything, you know, and it, and it really does provide an incredible amount of opportunity, but it comes with an incredible amount of like. You know, caveat, you know, like, just be careful what you wish for in a lot of ways. So, you know, we also, we also came around, you know, the show really kind of got famous.

• 32:53Speaker 03

  And I then got famous around two thousand seven, which seems like not that long ago, but was a long time ago. Not only it was fifteen years ago, but it was, um, that was the year they came out with the iPhone.

• 33:06Jason Bateman?

  Hmm.

• 33:06Speaker 03

  And I think it was maybe around the time that Twitter started. Uh, and then like two thousand ten was Instagram and like all of these things were starting to kind of, like, people's access to the internet became in their pocket and twenty four seven. And so that was kind of the blogging recap culture was just starting. So this idea of kind of actively engaged fans that could in real time kind of talk about the shows really came around right when we happened to get famous. So there was a lot of like serendipity and luck involved in, in our show's success. And it was, you know, it was crazy and it was a whirlwind and it was impossible to kind of not enjoy because it was enjoyable.

• 33:50Speaker 03

  And you, and it's, it's so rarely happens that you and we all, we've all been a part of at least one in some, in some cases, several hits like that where you just, it's out of your control and you just have to hold on for the ride. And, and that's kind of what it did.

• 34:06Jason Bateman?

  But getting that level of fame and, and respect and success in, in, in a profession at, at, at the age you are at is, is fortuitous, I would think, in that, in that you're, you've, you've got the coping mechanisms to, to, to deal with something like that. Were you able to take some really beneficial parts from fame and incorporate it into your life in, in a healthy way?

• 34:33Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, I think part of it is, is, is being okay with, with appreciating it, if that makes any sense.

• 34:41Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 34:42Speaker 03

  Yeah. There's a lot of us, I think, that are, want to like poo poo it and play it down and, and be modest with it, which is, which is also very healthy and good. But there's, there's something very, um, I think healthy about saying like, you know what? Yeah. Good for me. Hooray. Yay me. I didn't for nothing like work for 10 years with very little recognition or accolades or money or jobs or anything like, you know, when I landed in 95, when Sean and I landed in 1995, it took me three years to even get a job. So, you know, and it wasn't for lack of trying. I auditioned for everything. You know, my, my weird audition story was auditioning

• 35:23Speaker 03

  for Mimi Leader for Deep Impact, a part that eventually went to Jon Favreau.

• 35:29Jason Bateman?

  Jon Favreau, yeah.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  And, you know, who to this day I still say, I'm still a little angry at, I'm a little angry at him.

• 35:36Will Arnett?

  Sure.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  For beating me up for that. He had swingers. He had swingers. He's a writer. He's, he had so much and he couldn't.

• 35:43Jason Bateman?

  He didn't need Deep Impact.

• 35:44Speaker 03

  Couldn't back off and just give me that. I needed it.

• 35:46Will Arnett?

  No.

• 35:47Speaker 03

  But.

• 35:47Jason Bateman?

  He could pay you back now, give you some nice sweet arc on Mandalorian.

• 35:50Speaker 03

  Some Mandalorian love.

• 35:52Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Nice little tight little three up, three up arc.

• 35:55Will Arnett?

  Well, he's also, he's the guy in all that stuff too, in all the Marvel stuff, isn't he?

• 35:59Speaker 03

  He's Johnny Marvel. Come on.

• 36:01Will Arnett?

  Isn't he the guy, isn't he in those movies too?

• 36:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's Iron Man.

• 36:04Will Arnett?

  He's Downey's driver, right? Chauffeur. Getting his SAG benefits, you know what I mean?

• 36:09Speaker 03

  Listen, he's been, he's driven Robert Downey.

• 36:12Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  In the Iron Man trilogy, quadrupally.

• 36:14Will Arnett?

  Yep.

• 36:15Speaker 03

  He's driven Jack Nicholson.

• 36:18Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 36:18Speaker 03

  I think.

• 36:18Jason Bateman?

  Truly?

• 36:19Speaker 03

  In As Good As It Gets.

• 36:20Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 36:20Speaker 03

  Am I making this up?

• 36:21Jason Bateman?

  I don't remember.

• 36:22Will Arnett?

  Was he a driver in that?

• 36:23Jason Bateman?

  Was he in As Good As It Gets?

• 36:25Speaker 03

  I don't know. I'll be honest. I might be conflating a lot of things.

• 36:29Jason Bateman?

  John is a fun guy to act with. Have you guys done that?

• 36:32Will Arnett?

  No, but I obviously know him. He's a fun guy in general.

• 36:34Jason Bateman?

  He is, he is fun in a scene. Very fast, very quick. And him and Vince together, that must have been fun to watch.

• 36:41Speaker 03

  Oh, man. Yeah. He's, he's, I've, I've met those guys. I live on the east side of LA and they're kind of credited with kind of bringing Los Feliz into the hipster world for sure. The Dresden, that whole kind of swing, you know, swingers scene was their scene for sure.

• 36:59Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  And when those guys walked into a bar in 1996, like you knew it.

• 37:04Will Arnett?

  Oh, yeah.

• 37:04Speaker 03

  They were, they were very good hangs and they were very funny even then. And, you know, the proof's in the pudding. They both have very nice careers.

• 37:11Will Arnett?

  We were, we were talking the other day about, Jason and I were talking about Vince, about how fucking quick and funny he is.

• 37:18Speaker 03

  There's just no one better at what he does.

• 37:19Will Arnett?

  He's fucking, he's unreal.

• 37:21Speaker 03

  Yeah. And nobody does what he does, which is a nice place to be.

• 37:24Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 37:24Speaker 03

  And now, a word from our sponsor.

• 37:28Sean Hayes?

  Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections on by default. Built-in content settings for the content teens can see, contact limits for who can contact them, and time management tools like daily time limits and sleep mode. Teens are automatically placed into teen accounts and teens under 16 will need a parent's permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 38:11Sean Hayes?

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• 38:54Sean Hayes?

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• 39:08Sean Hayes?

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• 39:49Sean Hayes?

  Hiring now, then this is a job for Indeed Sponsored Jobs. All right, back to the show. John, when you, you know, now that you worked your butt off to get to where you are, and in hindsight, it probably took longer than you wanted and longer than what you explained before, is there anything that you tell younger actors going through it now? Or any kind of business, business-y advice, rather than acting, you know, technique advice that you know that you would probably pass on to anybody looking to make it now?

• 40:24Speaker 03

  You know, I've talked to, actually Jenna Fisher about this, who's also from St. Louis, who I've known for some time. I didn't know her in St. Louis, but we were talking about something for some reason. And it's funny, like, you can go to all of the acting schools in the world, and nobody really teaches you about the business of acting.

• 40:43Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 40:44Speaker 03

  And what it really is like, of course, like managing your day and managing your time and...

• 40:49Sean Hayes?

  Your expectations.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  Your expectations, for sure. Like, thinking about, you know, here's what it is to, like, drive into the valley in August and then have another audition in Fox in an hour, you know? And it's, you know, it's a lot, and it's real, and it's actually the part of acting that most actors engage with from a professional standpoint, far more than they do, you know, scene study or whatever. And so there's that part, and there's also just the fact that everything... At this level moves so quickly, especially in television, that if you're not ready to go, if you haven't done the work before you get to work, then you're, it's not gonna go well.

• 41:33Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  For one reason or another.

• 41:35Sean Hayes?

  Will.

• 41:35Speaker 03

  And I've seen it happen. I've been a victim of it of just like, oh, I'll just wing it. And then you're like, uh oh.

• 41:40Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 41:41Speaker 03

  But it's, it's a real lesson to learn of just, you know, it's the first one I learned in class is just like, be prepared.

• 41:47Will Arnett?

  I had, I had an acting teacher too, years ago. He would, he kind of would, would profess this and he was kind of a working actor. He was a character actor-y guy and he'd lived in LA a long time and moved back to New York. It's like early.

• 41:59Sean Hayes?

  Charles Nelson Riley or?

• 42:00Will Arnett?

  Early 90s.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  Charles Bronson.

• 42:03Will Arnett?

  He was Charles Bronson. It was. And we, he'd only, we'd only do scenes from Fort Apache, the Bronx, but, but he would. But he.

• 42:14Sean Hayes?

  Great movie. He wasn't in that.

• 42:16Will Arnett?

  Uh, Charles Bronson was. Sure he was. Um, so anyway.

• 42:20Speaker 03

  You had a lot to pick from, but I'm glad you picked that one.

• 42:22Will Arnett?

  Yeah, me too. Um, he would say the same thing, which, which was like, as a young actor, if you get on, if you get to set and you start going like, I'm gonna work through my stuff, you're fired. Um, there's no time to work through your shit. They gotta get this shot and they gotta move on.

• 42:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:38Will Arnett?

  And they don't give a fuck about what your process is and how you get there. You deliver. When they fucking call action, be ready. And I think that that was like the, I had that at an early age and I was, I felt lucky because I feel a lot of actors feel like, I'm just gonna go and I'm gonna work it out.

• 42:56Sean Hayes?

  Feel it.

• 42:57Speaker 03

  Once they see how amazing I am, they'll give me all the time in the world.

• 43:00Sean Hayes?

  Right. It, but, but it depends on what you want, right? If you want to be like, take Tom Cruise, for example, people are like, they didn't just hand it to him. Like he, he, he worked his butt off to be Tom Cruise. You know what I mean? Like.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  And having worked with him, he is the first guy on set. He were, you know, he's in the gym at five in the morning, call times at six. He's there. He's ready to go. And he's the last guy that leaves and it's.

• 43:23Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 43:23Speaker 03

  That guy deserves it, you know? He wants it. He got it. He works hard at it. And that's, you know, Jason, I know you've directed. Have you guys both directed television, Sean and Will? Like.

• 43:35Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 43:35Speaker 03

  It's the same thing when you sit through those auditions and you think like, all right. The guy that comes, who's gonna come in and take this part?

• 43:42Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 43:42Speaker 03

  Who's gonna come in?

• 43:43Jason Bateman?

  So I can worry about something else.

• 43:44Speaker 03

  So I can worry about something else. And by the way, so I can go back to the set, I gotta shoot.

• 43:48Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 43:48Speaker 03

  And, and you wa- and you watch the guys that do it, that walk in and just say like, "I don't have any questions," or, or "I don't have any ridiculous question." Not, "Hey, this is not 10 minutes of bullshit."

• 43:59Jason Bateman?

  No.

• 43:59Speaker 03

  It's like, "Let's do this and I'm gonna prove to you how, how I can crush this." And then it's like, "Great." That's the guy I want on the day when I'm 10 hours behind.

• 44:09Will Arnett?

  Sean, you do, but you're, you're, you haven't directed, but you also, you go to the, when it goes to going to the gym, you're the last guy there and the first guy out, right?

• 44:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:19Will Arnett?

  Very similar.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, look at me.

• 44:22Jason Bateman?

  So, John, growing up in St. Louis, did you, uh, did you, did you spend any summers, uh, at the Lake of the Ozarks down there?

• 44:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, in fact, my, uh, a good portion of my family has retired down there. My, my, uh, my dad's sister, my Aunt Betty, uh, lives, lives down there full-time now and my cousin.

• 44:39Jason Bateman?

  Is it true that there, that there's a, a, a bar down there that does real well called Big Dicks Halfway In?

• 44:45Will Arnett?

  Whoa.

• 44:45Speaker 03

  No way.

• 44:46Jason Bateman?

  Is that a true story?

• 44:47Speaker 03

  It's entirely possible. If I'm, if I'm judging by the amount of, of, and the quality of puns that I've seen and heard throughout the years in the, in the Lake of the Ozarks, the Redneck River. Is that true, Jason? Is that a real bar?

• 44:58Jason Bateman?

  That's a real bar, from what I understand, and it is a very high-level pun. That is, uh, that, they deserve to do a lot of business in there.

• 45:05Will Arnett?

  Ja- Jason, can we get, can we get a little something out of Marty Bird?

• 45:08Jason Bateman?

  Uh, I, I, I don't, I don't, I don't change at all. This is a full Marty right now.

• 45:13Will Arnett?

  We hear a little something out of Marty Bird.

• 45:15Speaker 03

  This whole interview's been conducted by Marty Bird, I think.

• 45:17Will Arnett?

  I would love to have a conversation with Marty Bird real quick.

• 45:21Speaker 03

  I think it might go a little something like this.

• 45:25Jason Bateman?

  Now, did you ever see any, uh, any, um, any money laundering or, um,

• 45:31Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 45:32Jason Bateman?

  killings or anything down there?

• 45:34Speaker 03

  Very little, if any.

• 45:35Jason Bateman?

  We're painting a pretty bleak picture of the lake down there.

• 45:37Speaker 03

  There was a lot of bass fishing, a lot of water skiing.

• 45:41Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 45:42Speaker 03

  Uh, and some pretty heavy, heavy, uh, drinking.

• 45:45Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 45:46Speaker 03

  But, uh, you know, a lot of, a lot of very- Poor water safety. Yeah, but you're not getting a murder a week down there. No. Yeah, we're taking a little license. You know, fall out of the boat, hit your head. Son of a bitch.

• 46:00Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  I had my phone in my pocket, god damn it. A lot of that, for sure. A lot of anger with that.

• 46:05Will Arnett?

  But not a lot of cartel guys walking down dirt roads with shotguns in the middle of the night, right?

• 46:10Speaker 03

  You just didn't see it, and that doesn't mean it didn't exist. Now, are they upset at us for painting that type of a picture? I think any publicity for the Ozarks is good publicity at this point. You know, they do need to lengthen the runway there so they could get some commercial flights in there and really open up tourism, darn it. You're preaching to the choir at this point. Why don't you get down there and kind of Ramrod something like that? Is that one of the other bars, the Ramrod something like that? The Ramrod does great business, but it's mostly on weekends.

• 46:39Sean Hayes?

  And it's gay.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  Mostly on weekends, thank you.

• 46:43Sean Hayes?

  Johnny, what's your favorite best movie experience on a set or part that you played?

• 46:49Speaker 03

  I've got it right here. He's loaded with that one. I worked on a movie called Bad Times at the El Real a couple of years ago. Yes. Directed by a guy who I've known for a long time. He used to write promos for the WB. I auditioned to be the guy that reads the next on the WB. That guy that Will probably got.

• 47:12Will Arnett?

  No, I did CBS at that time.

• 47:13Speaker 03

  Fair enough, fair enough. And so, and I got the offer for it during Sundance. Came through, they said, you got 48 hours to read this. It's yours if you want it. You gotta be on a plane from Sundance to Vancouver. Let me know. And I read it and I loved it and I was like, cool, cool, cool, this is amazing. Who fell out, basically, because clearly somebody did. No, John. No, somebody did. It was fine, it was Russell Crowe, whatever, good replacement, I think.

• 47:43Sean Hayes?

  Sure.

• 47:43Speaker 03

  And it was to work with Jeff Bridges, who I've wanted to work with my entire life and always thought was maybe the coolest guy. You know, even pre-Big Lebowski, I was just, I was on board. That's no letdown, right? He's a real, that's a high level professional. He is the best. And so I got to work with that guy for, they shot the whole thing chronologically. Spoiler alert, I die in the first act, but I shot all, you know, whatever, two and a half weeks of my part, and it was mostly with Jeff and... Man, that was, that was, and it was a beautiful set. It was super cool. Everybody on it was nice. It was, that was, that was one of the good ones. That was really one of the good ones.

• 48:24Will Arnett?

  John, how weird. So you actually, you, you did this movie with the guy who was writing promos at the CW. What a trip for you guys, right? Did you guys acknowledge that?

• 48:34Speaker 03

  And I knew him through like a little poker league that we played in. Like, he, he was just, he, he hit the big time. Drew Goddard, and he's still making movies.

• 48:42Jason Bateman?

  He's doing very well.

• 48:43Will Arnett?

  I know Drew, cause I, he, he, Caroline Williams, he's married to Caroline Williams, who's a tremendous comedy writer. She's one of the funniest writers I've ever worked with. She wrote on BoJack.

• 48:53Speaker 03

  Things happen to good people sometimes.

• 48:54Jason Bateman?

  Now, you mentioned auditioning to be the voice of, of CW. So the voice, the voice has been something that, that you've been using for a while, then it sounds like. But you've, you've really hit the top of the mountain there with, with Mercedes for how many years now?

• 49:09Speaker 03

  I think going on 13 now.

• 49:11Jason Bateman?

  Jon Hamm.

• 49:12Sean Hayes?

  That's so cool.

• 49:13Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, they've, I've, I've outlasted several CEOs and CMOs and...

• 49:18Will Arnett?

  13 years, that's pretty good.

• 49:20Jason Bateman?

  Here he comes, here he comes, here he comes. It's not professional grade though. I mean, 13 years is good, but it's not professional grade.

• 49:26Speaker 03

  It's not professional.

• 49:27Jason Bateman?

  It's not professional grade.

• 49:28Will Arnett?

  It doesn't matter.

• 49:28Sean Hayes?

  Oh no, I think people want to know.

• 49:30Speaker 03

  I will say, for the listeners out there, every now and again, I will get texts from both Jason and Will about some voiceover, something or other, which is, it's, it's a compliment, but it's a left-handed compliment.

• 49:44Jason Bateman?

  No.

• 49:44Will Arnett?

  No.

• 49:45Speaker 03

  It's always a, "Oh, I see you doing that too. Good for you, good for you, good for you. Real, real happy for you."

• 49:52Jason Bateman?

  Let me tell you what else is, is, is a, that Apple commercial that you do is killer.

• 49:56Sean Hayes?

  I love that.

• 49:57Jason Bateman?

  That's well done.

• 49:58Will Arnett?

  Come on, that's good.

• 49:59Jason Bateman?

  Who shot that, by the way? I want DP and director.

• 50:02Speaker 03

  Another guy I've known for a long, long time through our, our mutual friend, Tall John Schrader. A guy named Wayne McClamie, who now is, another guy that came out of the trenches, the WB.

• 50:13Will Arnett?

  No, I'm not kidding.

• 50:14Jason Bateman?

  Do you know who shot it? Do you know who the DP was?

• 50:16Speaker 03

  I don't remember the name of the DP, I'm sorry.

• 50:19Sean Hayes?

  Okay, wait, Johnny, before we let you go, cause I know you gotta go, I want to know what you're excited about coming up. That's, that's really getting you going.

• 50:25Speaker 03

  I'll tell you exactly what I'm excited about, cause I've said it about four times today. I get to go to Europe for my birthday.

• 50:36Jason Bateman?

  Oh.

• 50:36Speaker 03

  Like I turned 50 last year and it was during a pandemic and my big celebration was having some people over and standing 10 feet away from them.

• 50:44Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 50:45Speaker 03

  And I get to go, my gal and I get to go to the Alps for two weeks for my birthday. I've never been, I've never been to Switzerland.

• 50:55Jason Bateman?

  Oh, that's exciting.

• 50:56Speaker 03

  That part of France and I've never been to that part of Italy, so we're gonna, we're gonna do it right.

• 51:00Jason Bateman?

  You're gonna like that a lot.

• 51:01Speaker 03

  I'm leaving in a week and I'm very, very excited about that.

• 51:04Sean Hayes?

  That's so exciting.

• 51:04Jason Bateman?

  George can toss you the keys for the, the house in Como.

• 51:07Speaker 03

  Baby, you got Como handy? Let me, uh, let me rock it out.

• 51:11Jason Bateman?

  It's right there.

• 51:12Speaker 03

  I promise I'll mop up.

• 51:13Will Arnett?

  Why not? And listen, you can pop down to Zermatt and you know, where, where are you going in Switzerland?

• 51:19Speaker 03

  Switzerland, Stade.

• 51:20Will Arnett?

  Stade, yes.

• 51:22Speaker 03

  I just wanna be like, I wanna do like one thing James Bond did.

• 51:27Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 51:27Speaker 03

  Like I wanna eat dinner in a like UFO shaped thing that you have to take a gondola to. And then you ski out for dessert.

• 51:37Jason Bateman?

  Hey, what are, are you gonna get, are you gonna get into Germany at all? You should get to Germany and have Mercedes give you one of their cars and drive on the Autobahn where there's no speed limit.

• 51:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think that's a, that's a different trip, but yes, that's gonna happen at some point.

• 51:50Jason Bateman?

  I'll go on that one with you.

• 51:51Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 51:51Jason Bateman?

  Let's go.

• 51:52Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 51:52Jason Bateman?

  Come on.

• 51:53Will Arnett?

  God, that sounds like fun.

• 51:54Speaker 03

  Let's take, uh, let's take this podcast on the road and, uh,

• 51:57Jason Bateman?

  Done.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  Do it German style.

• 51:58Sean Hayes?

  But one more thing, and I know that, I know the personal life is way more important than anything we do for a living, but I'm just excited about you and, and your talent. And is there anything that you're excited that's coming up that you can share with us that you're working on or gonna work on?

• 52:10Speaker 03

  Uh, the most exciting thing that I have coming out, which will finally come out in May, is these long awaited 30 years on sequel to Top Gun.

• 52:19Jason Bateman?

  Oh, nice.

• 52:20Sean Hayes?

  You're in that?

• 52:21Speaker 03

  Yes, I am.

• 52:22Jason Bateman?

  Holy shit.

• 52:22Sean Hayes?

  That's great.

• 52:24Speaker 03

  That's coming out, I think Memorial Day weekend, around there and it's, I've seen it. It's really, really good. It's exactly what you want out of this and it's, I cannot wait for people to see it. It was one of those things where, another kind of pinch me moment, like, just like, wait, they're asking me to be in the Top Gun sequel, like, tell my, tell my 15-year-old self that?

• 52:45Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 52:45Speaker 03

  And I would punch my 15-year-old self in the face, like.

• 52:48Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, that's healthy.

• 52:49Speaker 03

  So, yeah.

• 52:50Jason Bateman?

  Tom Cruise was not, not a disappointment either, I'll bet, right? Just incredible.

• 52:55Speaker 03

  The best in the biz, man. He's the best in the biz. As advertised, he is intense and hardworking, but that's exactly who you want.

• 53:01Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 53:02Speaker 03

  That's who you, that's what you want in a, in a Tom Cruise.

• 53:04Sean Hayes?

  Oh, yeah, that's great.

• 53:05Jason Bateman?

  I'd do a whole hour on that. That's awesome.

• 53:07Sean Hayes?

  Well, I'm excited about that, Johnny. Thank you for being here. I know you gotta run. It means the world to us and thank you for saying yes to coming on. I'm such a big fan.

• 53:14Speaker 03

  Thank you very much for having me. It's rare that I know all three podcast hosts at the same time and it's.

• 53:22Jason Bateman?

  Hopefully if Major League Baseball gets their act together, we can go out there and spend some quality time.

• 53:27Speaker 03

  You know, Jason and I have a lovely, friendly Cardinals Dodgers rivalry that the Dodgers have had the better of the last few years, but.

• 53:36Jason Bateman?

  Not really, barely. You still have Flaherty though, you know?

• 53:40Speaker 03

  Listen, you got, you got the ring.

• 53:42Jason Bateman?

  You give me him and, and all's forgiven.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  Okay, I'll trade you for Walker Bueller.

• 53:47Jason Bateman?

  You have me at the high school out here and, no, no, no, he needs to be with Walker. Oh, anyway, we'll talk, we'll negotiate something.

• 53:53Will Arnett?

  No, no, no, please, continue on with fucking baseball, man. Of all the fucking sports.

• 53:57Sean Hayes?

  Let's end on baseball.

• 53:59Speaker 03

  We can end on the fact that I went on a blind date with Jason's now wife. We can, but that's, that's for another.

• 54:04Sean Hayes?

  Wait, you did?

• 54:05Will Arnett?

  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

• 54:06Jason Bateman?

  No, he's gotta go, guys.

• 54:08Speaker 03

  I gotta go, but I gotta go. That's, that's in the next episode.

• 54:12Sean Hayes?

  Did you really go on a blind date with Amanda?

• 54:14Will Arnett?

  Ham, just wink at me, one wink means yes, two means, okay, yes, fucking.

• 54:18Jason Bateman?

  John!

• 54:19Will Arnett?

  All right, John Ham, thank you so much, John.

• 54:21Sean Hayes?

  Thank you, Johnny.

• 54:22Will Arnett?

  Oh, great to have you. Ham, you're the best.

• 54:25Jason Bateman?

  You're the best. Go Burrows.

• 54:27Speaker 03

  I'll land on the next time. All right, I love you guys.

• 54:29Sean Hayes?

  I love you, Tom.

• 54:29Will Arnett?

  Love you, buddy.

• 54:30Sean Hayes?

  Thank you.

• 54:31Will Arnett?

  Thank you.

• 54:33Jason Bateman?

  Uh, Jon Hamm is no ham. Jon is a, is a very humble, classy, solid individual.

• 54:41Will Arnett?

  Solid individual, yeah.

• 54:43Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I, I was super excited that he, that he was coming on. I mean, he's like, one of those guys that's, you know, I say it all the time, but to, to about other people, but whenever he's in something, you're like, oh, this is gonna be great.

• 54:53Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 54:54Jason Bateman?

  Yep.

• 54:54Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 54:54Jason Bateman?

  He's got a real solid presence.

• 54:56Will Arnett?

  And I really meant it about, uh, about Mad Men, watching that and, and truthfully, like, thinking like, kinda know him and like this, how's this gonna be watching him in this? It's kinda like Jason watching you in Ozark, which is also a testament to how good you are.

• 55:12Jason Bateman?

  Hmm, yeah.

• 55:12Will Arnett?

  It's like you get into it and you're like, you forget that you know the guy, which is, it's a hard, it's a higher bar to have to, a higher threshold to have to go over.

• 55:20Sean Hayes?

  I love that, yeah. That's so true, like.

• 55:21Will Arnett?

  And that shows how good it is.

• 55:23Sean Hayes?

  Jay, whenever I, yeah, whenever I watch Ozark, I can't, it's like, I don't, it's transformative, as they say. So congratulations on that. Congratulations to Jon Hamm on being such a good guy.

• 55:32Will Arnett?

  So Sean, also, what a great guest. Uh, uh, so great having, uh, Jon on.

• 55:37Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, he's got a new podcast.

• 55:38Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I was gonna say that. Does he have a new podcast?

• 55:40Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, he's got a new podcast. It's called American Hostage and it's on Amazon Wondery. It's fantastic. The tr- you gotta listen to the trailer. The trailer sounds like an actual movie. It's, it's really, really cool.

• 55:50Will Arnett?

  Ah, he's perfect for that.

• 55:51Sean Hayes?

  It's really great.

• 55:52Will Arnett?

  He's perfect for that. Cause he's so good. I meant it when I said, like, I watch Mad Men.

• 55:56Jason Bateman?

  And, and to, I mean, how many, you would never think that a series about a pot store would last for how many seasons?

• 56:02Will Arnett?

  Oh, no, no, you're thinking of, sorry, you're thinking of Mad Men, which is a pot store out here in California. No, it's a different, it's a totally different, yeah. I mean, it's a very honest.

• 56:11Jason Bateman?

  Oh, this is, oh, sorry, Mad, so it's an anger management, like a help group?

• 56:14Will Arnett?

  Eh, again, it's just, I honestly, I wish you could, it's just kinda the play on Madison Avenue, guys have advertising.

• 56:20Jason Bateman?

  Oh.

• 56:22Will Arnett?

  Executives explaining what they do.

• 56:24Jason Bateman?

  I missed.

• 56:26Will Arnett?

  But it's like where they, you know, those ad executives, they come up with all the different slogans, like, you know, do this, do this, or like.

• 56:33Sean Hayes?

  You're thinking of like.

• 56:34Will Arnett?

  Bye, menin.

• 56:36Sean Hayes?

  Bye, menin.

• 56:39Sean Hayes?

  Smart.

• 56:45Will Arnett?

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• 56:50Will Arnett?

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• 57:03Will Arnett?

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• 57:08Jason Bateman?

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• 57:46Speaker 04

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