3 Frameworks & 5 Action Steps to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection For Good

What if I told you that your self-doubt is the silent killer of your dreams? After achieving everything I thought I wanted—the accolades, the recognition, the external markers of success—I still felt angry, frustrated, and empty inside because I wasn't getting the feeling of happiness or validation I truly craved. In this solo episode, I'm sharing the three frameworks that completely destroyed my fear of rejection and helped me stop living for other people's approval. These are the exact mental shifts that taught me to build real courage and finally love myself enough to know that no rejection could ever take away my worth. Make Money Easy: Create Financial Freedom and Live a Richer LifeThe Greatness Mindset: Unlock the Power of Your Mind and Live Your Best Life TodayThe Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest LivesThe School of Greatness: A Real-World Guide to Living Bigger, Loving Deeper, and Leaving a LegacyIn this episode you will:Discover why every time you say yes for validation, you're secretly rejecting yourselfTransform your relationship with support and learn why courage isn't about doing it aloneBreak through the scarcity mindset that keeps you chasing approval instead of finding peaceMaster the mirror exercise that rebuilt my self-worth from the ground upLearn to ask yourself "Am I still safe even if they reject me?" and find the answer that changes everythingFor more information go to https://lewishowes.com/1828For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Lewis Howes – greatness.lnk.to/1810SCMichelle Obama – greatness.lnk.to/1767SCSadhguru – greatness.lnk.to/1800SC Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  What if I told you that your self doubt is the silent killer of your dreams? After all these big accomplishments and achievements, I would still feel like almost angry, almost upset, even more frustrated because I wasn't getting the feeling of happiness or validation that I truly longed for, that I truly wanted. And that's why in this video, I'm sharing the three frameworks that destroyed my fear of rejection. These are the exact shifts that helped me stop living for other people's approval and start building real courage and finally love myself enough to know that no rejection could ever take away my worth. I want you to watch this video daily.

• 0:45Lewis Howes?

  And I promise you that if you put these into practice, you'll never see rejection the same way again. The first framework is about scarcity, validation, and the fear of rejection. Every time you say yes for validation, you're secretly rejecting yourself. Every time you say yes for validation, you are secretly rejecting yourself. A lesson for me and a lesson I want to share with you is that fear of rejection comes from scarcity and the need for validation and constantly saying yes to other people to be liked and to be approved.

• 1:28Lewis Howes?

  There's a quote I want to share with you. I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure. Try to please everybody. This is by Herbert Bayard Swope, who's an American editor and journalist. And for years, I personally said yes to everyone who said, Louis, can you help me with this? Louis, here's an opportunity. Louis, I've got a project I need your help with. Every request, every project, every opportunity, I was like, yes, what can I do? How can I help you? What do you need from me? I was seeking the validation and approval from everyone. I just wanted to be liked. I wanted to be loved by other people because Growing up, I didn't feel enough. I didn't have a lot of friends.

• 2:13Lewis Howes?

  People made fun of me, was picked on, bullied, all these different things. Because deep down, I didn't feel like I was enough for myself. So I was always seeking the approval of other people. And it was exhausting. I don't know if you know this feeling. Seeking validation from other people drains your energy. It doesn't give you energy. I thought if people saw me everywhere, achieving more, accomplishing bigger things, but maybe they wouldn't reject me. Maybe they would accept me. Maybe they would like me. Maybe they would love me. But that scarcity mindset and craving for validation had me chasing approval instead of feeling peace.

• 2:58Lewis Howes?

  And can I tell you that peace is one of the greatest gifts you can have? Inner peace is priceless. But when you're chasing and seeking approval and validation, and you're afraid of rejection, you are giving up your peace, my friend. That robs you of your peace. You are creating chaos and stress and overwhelm. And there is turbulence inside of you because you're always trying to control things and external factors, and you never have peace. Eventually, after many, many years of doing this, I realized that every time I said yes to everything else, I was really just saying no to myself.

• 3:39Lewis Howes?

  Every time you say yes to someone else because you're seeking approval or validation, you're saying no to your self-worth. Now, this doesn't mean you shouldn't be a generous person, and you shouldn't be helping others, and you shouldn't be kind and giving. I'm not saying never help other people. But what I am saying is when you help because you want someone to like you only, and you're afraid that if you don't help them, then they're not gonna like you. Then you are making decisions based out of scarcity and fear that will block your freedom, that will block your peace, that will block your flow, a block your abundance. And that will create stress in your body, stress in your mind,

• 4:23Lewis Howes?

  and it will only hurt you in your life. Be a giver, be generous. Help your friends and family. All these things are good things. This is a key to life, is building these deep relationships. Don't do it out of fear of rejection. Don't do it because you don't love yourself. And you're hoping that maybe if they like you because you do something for them, you'll feel like you're finally enough. That is not the way to go about it. A couple of action steps I want for you is to write down the last three times you said yes, when you really wanted to say no. And I can think about these, you know, it's hard. It's hard because you want everyone to like you. You want to be there for people. You don't want to let people down.

• 5:08Lewis Howes?

  I get it. But if you are letting yourself down trying to please other people's agendas, then you're always going to feel like you're second best. You're always going to feel unworthy, like you're not enough. And you're not good enough for yourself. That's what we got to get to. And it's not always fun. I spent decades saying yes to everything that came my way because I didn't want anyone to be frustrated. I didn't want anyone to say negative things about me behind my back. I was worried what they would think about me, all that crap. I'm telling you, that does not create peace for you. It creates a war inside of you. It does not build self-worth.

• 5:52Lewis Howes?

  It brings down your worth. It hurts you. Do things though with your friends, your family, people to reach out. You can be generous still. But if you know inside, like you don't want to do something or you're extending yourself too much and it's not something you really want to do, or you're doing it because you just want to be liked by them, that's when you have to say, ah, do I really, should I really be doing this? You've got to create boundaries in your life. You got to protect your peace as well. And when you give your energy to everyone to be pleased by them, you don't protect your peace. So ask yourself, am I doing this for me or for validation? Am I doing this because I want to be a giver or because I want to be liked? So next thing I want you to ask yourself.

• 6:36Lewis Howes?

  And practice saying no to one small thing today.

• 6:41Lewis Howes?

  Even if it feels extremely scary or uncomfortable, just say, no, I can't do that right now. But it doesn't mean you're not going to be able to do something for someone else in the future, or that person for the next thing in the future. Just know you can't do one thing right now. If you really feel like it's not meant for you to do this thing. Don't be available for everyone all the time. Unless it's part of like, it brings you a lot of joy, it brings you a lot of peace, cool, do that. But if it's pulling your energy, it's sucking and draining your energy, you gotta learn to say no. And remind yourself, rejection of an opportunity is not a rejection of you. Scarcity, validation, fear of rejection.

• 7:27Lewis Howes?

  This is the first framework that I want you to be thinking about. We need to start learning how to have courage in our life to say no to people that, that we're just saying yes to because we want validation and to be liked. Now, I get it, if you're working in a career or your job, you've got clients and you've got commitments where people are paying you, you've got responsibilities, those are different things. You've created an agreement or contracts in place where you've got to deliver certain results and you've got to show up. There are things I do all the time that I don't necessarily love to do, I don't want to do in this moment,

• 8:08Lewis Howes?

  but I've got obligations, I've got responsibilities, I've got bills, I've got all these different things that I've committed to showing up to. And I can always renegotiate these contracts or agreements if I want to in the future, but these are something that I've taken on and I'm glad to take them on because of the opportunities in my life. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the people reaching out to you left and right, asking you for favors all the time, or asking you to do something that just want you to take from you. They don't want to give from you also. There's not a mutually beneficial relationship. Or they, you're just doing it because you want to be in the it crowd, or you want to be liked, or you want to be validated by a certain person. That is going to rob you of your joy and rob you of your peace.

• 8:52Lewis Howes?

  And I want you to have more peace than stress. Framework number two. Courage isn't internal, it's supported. Now, this is a little contradictory and this, this doesn't give you the full picture. Courage isn't about proving you can do it alone. It's about proving you're strong enough to ask for support. And this is the key. Courage doesn't mean silencing fear on your own. It means having mentors, having friends, having support, having tools that help you face rejection without letting it break you. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

• 9:36Lewis Howes?

  That's what Mark Twain said. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. And I used to think I had to handle everything on myself. Because I grew up thinking I had no friends, that people made fun of me. And I validated that by actually real life experiences. And it was struggle, it was a big struggle for me not to have friends growing up. To be picked on, to be picked last on sports teams, all these things. It really hurt my psyche when I was eight, nine, 12, 14 years old. And it drove me to prove people wrong. And it drove me to do things to get validation, to seek approval, to all these different things.

• 10:18Lewis Howes?

  And I'm assuming most people in the world have experienced this in some way, shape or form. But I used to think I had to handle everything myself because I felt like I was alone. I felt like I was alone, no one was looking out for me, no one cared about me, no one loved me. That was a story that I played in my own mind. It wasn't the absolute truth. Especially in relationships, I feared upsetting people so much that I betrayed myself over and over again, just to avoid conflict. Have you ever been in a relationship, an intimate relationship, where you constantly betrayed what you knew you were supposed to do? Just to try to keep the peace with your partner? Just to try to make them happy, just so they wouldn't scream at you?

• 11:03Lewis Howes?

  Just they wouldn't yell, just they wouldn't cry because you didn't do something? I gave in so many times. And it's sad for me to look back and think about how much I betrayed myself just to avoid conflict in intimacy. Because I thought like, I'm supposed to give so much and make sure that they're happy and never mad at me. I lacked the courage to say, this is who I am, this is what I stand for. And if you're gonna be upset or scream at me or throw a tantrum, that's on you. And maybe we're just not the right fit, and that's okay. But I lacked that courage to create those boundaries until I learned the lessons the hard way, over and over again. Suffered a lot of stress, a lot of pain, a lot of frustration.

• 11:48Lewis Howes?

  Because I'm the one who betrayed myself. These other people didn't do it, I did it. And so I'm the one that paid the price. And I don't know if you can relate to this, where you've ever betrayed yourself in a relationship? It's exhausting. It drains the life out of you. It sucks the soul from you when you do this over and over again. But hopefully, you're here for a reason right now. And if you're in that experience right now, you can make a change. It doesn't mean the other person in your life will change, but you can make a change and the situation may change. You can start to say, I am no longer going to give in to please another person.

• 12:31Lewis Howes?

  It doesn't mean you don't want to make the relationship flourish and thrive, and you don't want it to be harmony, you do. But you don't have harmony because you're giving in constantly to try to please another person. That doesn't work for you anymore. And I'm here to let you know that you are more worthy, you're more lovable, than having to give in constantly to create the peace. Now, this doesn't mean the change is gonna happen overnight. You're gonna have to have courageous conversations in your life. You're gonna have to be able to have self-worth and stand up for self consciously, calmly. When these patterns continue again, you're gonna have to start shifting old behavior into a new behavior and stay consistent with it for yourself.

• 13:15Lewis Howes?

  But the key is to stop betraying you. Cause every time you betray yourself, your self-worth diminishes. Your chaos inside of you increases. Your lack of peace grows. And I want you to have more peace, more abundance, more joy, more freedom, to be exactly who you are. But you've gotta have the courage to be willing to speak up and to speak up for yourself. What changed everything in my life was realizing I didn't have to carry it alone. And that can be a very scary thing for a lot of people. Cause a lot of us feel like we're doing life alone.

• 14:00Lewis Howes?

  That no one is helping us, we're carrying all the weight, all the load, all the responsibility is on our shoulders. And that is exhausting. It's exhausting. I know it, cause I lived it for a long time. And I still have a lot of responsibility in my life. I still take a light on. But I empower others to support me. I create agreements with others to support me. I'm allowing others to support me as well. Cause when you get used to doing things on your own, it's hard for you to allow another person to support you. You get so comfortable.

• 14:42Lewis Howes?

  And used to say, I'm just gonna do it on my own because everyone else lets me down. No one else can do it like me. Everyone else isn't consistent like I am. And they're not gonna do it the way it needs to get done. I know that mentality. That will only get you so far. But it'll exhaust you, it'll drain you, and it'll rob you of your peace long-term. Having support, a coach, mentor, friend, a guide, a spiritual leader.

• 15:10Lewis Howes?

  It helped give me the courage to stop letting other people's opinions control my life. And I believe having support for you will do the same. Doesn't mean it's always easy getting started, but it's definitely necessary to sustain a more harmonious life for yourself. An actionable step I want you to take right now, a few of them, is to identify one source of support in your life right now. This could be a potential mentor, a coach, a trusted friend. And I would love for you to start a conversation with them. Reach out to them and say, "Hey, I want to talk to you about a few things, and I'd love for you to support me." Literally saying the words, "I would like to talk to you,

• 15:56Lewis Howes?

  and are you able to support me on something I'm going through right now in my life?" That is scary for a lot of people. I know it's hard for me because I never asked for support. So when you're not familiar doing that, it's scary. But I'm telling you, this is something I want you to take action on. Reach out to someone and say, "Can I share with you a fear of rejection that I have?" And share this fear of rejection that you might be having in your life, and talk about it. And allow it to just come out of you. Allow yourself to express it. Allow yourself to speak about it in a way, so hopefully it's less scary. Because when we speak about things, those things become less scary.

• 16:39Lewis Howes?

  When we hide it, when we hoard it, when we are shameful about it, it stays stuck inside of us. So share it out with a trusted person in your life, and allow them to support you. Before, the next key I want you to do is before making a decision in your life, any small or big decision, ask yourself, "Am I still safe even if they reject me?"

• 17:03Lewis Howes?

  Ho, that's a big one. Because I used to think if I upset someone, then I'm gonna die alone forever. You know, I'm gonna be like dead. They're never gonna like me. They're gonna judge me. I'm upsetting them. I can't upset them. Ah, so I have to just extend myself all the times. And I am safe even if people reject me. I am. I didn't used to think I was, but you learn how to create emotional safety within your nervous system, even when people reject you, even when they're upset at you. You're gonna wake up tomorrow. You're gonna be alive. You're gonna be okay. It may not feel like you're gonna be okay. It may feel like the end of the world if someone doesn't like you,

• 17:48Lewis Howes?

  if they're upset at you. It may feel like, ah, I need this validation. But I'm telling you, I have met so many people in my life and I used to feel like I needed to know everyone and I needed everyone to be my friend and I need to do favors for everyone. And I've gotten to a place where I've really shrunk my circle over the last few years and I am safer than ever now. Sure, I know lots of people still and I'll show up for friends and I'll show up for people when I can, but I'm really good at saying no now from a loving, conscious place, just saying, listen, I'm busy right now. I've got a lot going on. I cannot do this for you. And I'll also try to give when I can give and I'll try to support those when I can.

• 18:32Lewis Howes?

  But it's knowing I'm gonna be safe even if they're not in my life or even if they don't like me like the way I want them to like me. You're gonna be safe. I'm safe. Create a mantra for yourself as well. Their reaction doesn't define my worth. Use this mantra. Their reaction does not define my worth. Repeat this daily. Repeat it over and over again. When I say no, I can't do this. I don't have the time. Their reaction does not define my worth. It doesn't. Human beings are human beings. I'm gonna let down other people. Other people are gonna let down me. You know, we're gonna have our feelings. We're gonna feel sad. We're gonna feel frustrated, all these... We're human beings.

• 19:15Lewis Howes?

  We have a wide range of emotions. Then we move on. And if people don't move on or if I don't move on it, that's on us. And we gotta work through our emotions. But you are gonna be safe, no matter what someone's reaction is, their emotional reaction. And courage is an internal, it's supported. That's framework number two. Allow yourself to reach out for support. Yes, it takes internal courage to act, to move, to take action, to have that courageous conversation with someone. You've got to take that courage inside of you as well as say, ah, I can't do this right now. And be willing to face the emotional reactions of people in your life for the letdown or the breakdown. Yes, it takes internal courage.

• 20:00Lewis Howes?

  But don't do courage on your own forever. Reach out to support, find support, have a guide, have a friend, have someone in your life to support you in that courageous journey. And framework number three, self-love over external validation. Oh, man, this is hard because most of my life, all I wanted was love from others, likability from other people, external validation. That's what made me feel like safe, like I was okay. And if they don't like or love me, I'm worthless. But rejection only breaks you when you don't already love yourself. When you know you are enough,

• 20:42Lewis Howes?

  their no can't take anything from you. Let me say this again. Rejection only breaks you when you don't already love yourself. When you know you are enough, their no can't take anything from you. A big lesson is the rejection hurts the most when you don't already love yourself. If you can do this one exercise, where you look yourself in the mirror. It's one of the weirdest things you do. If you're not familiar with this. And I'm not saying look yourself in the mirror and say, oh, I look pretty today, or I look ugly today, or looking at yourself in terms of material looks. But if you can look yourself in the mirror,

• 21:26Lewis Howes?

  and this is look back into the reflection of your own eyes, into the soul of who you are through your eyes. And if you can look at your soul in your eyes and say, I am enough.

• 21:40Lewis Howes?

  I am enough. I am enough, just looking into your eyes. And have courage to do it. Ninety-nine percent of the world will never do this. Because it takes true courage to be able to look yourself in the eyes and say, I am enough. When you can do this and start to truly believe it, even when other people don't accept you, make fun of you, criticize you, judge you. When you can start to do this, rejection loses its power. Rejection loses its power over you. It is freeing. It is empowering. It is

• 22:25Lewis Howes?

  something that just creates more in your life, more peace, more freedom. And that's what I want for you.

• 22:34Lewis Howes?

  The Buddha said, you yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserves your love and affection. Oh, does that sting? Does that sting the younger version of myself that never gave myself love and affection? Does that sting you right now? Do you give yourself love and affection? And some of you here might watch some of my content or listen to the School of Greatness or the show, coming for health and wellness, information, coming for strategies on how to make a lot of money and invest and build your business.

• 23:16Lewis Howes?

  Some of you come for relationship advice and how to find the right partner and build a beautiful relationship. And you may say, ah, this is a little woo wooey Louis, like this is a little whatever fluffy. This is like, come on, be a man, toughen up. This is lame. But this quote really does hit you deep. If you actually have an open heart and you're willing to listen to it. Ask yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,

• 23:45Lewis Howes?

  deserve your love and affection.

• 23:49Lewis Howes?

  You yourself, do you deserve your love and affection? And are you giving it to yourself? If you're not, then you're always going to be seeking outside approval.

• 24:03Lewis Howes?

  For decades, I'm talking about decades from early years, teen years, twenties, even early thirties. I chased achievement. I chased it and I had these big goals and I was able to accomplish so many of these goals. And for whatever reason, within minutes, hours of accomplishing these massive goals that I would set for myself. It's almost like I was more frustrated, more angry, more upset than I was before accomplishing it. And I was like, man, I'm accomplishing the biggest things in my life right now. Why am I still frustrated?

• 24:43Lewis Howes?

  And I realized that these accomplishments, money, followers, status.

• 24:51Lewis Howes?

  I was doing them to feel validated by other people instead of doing them because it was something that brought me a lot of self-pride, self-joy. Because it was out of passion, because it was out of a desire to to achieve something for me where I could impact other people as well. It was doing it to prove people wrong, who made fun of me. It was doing it to show that I was better than. It was doing it to try to seek approval that when I accomplish this, then people will like me finally. Then maybe the people will love me. Then I'll feel worthy enough when I accomplish this thing. But that did not, did not work. And I remember when I hit thirty, I realized that none of this fulfilled the emptiness inside of me. None of it.

• 25:37Lewis Howes?

  And this is the book that I wrote recently called The Greatness Mindset. That's the book that I wish I had in my teens and my twenties before this massive wake-up call. Because it gave me all the tools that I learned on how to feel harmonious inside of me. So that I could go after my dreams without doing it to try to prove. others wrong and seek approval or validation. But instead, because it was a higher calling. And it felt like it was part of my journey. If you haven't read The Greatness Mindset. Unlock the power of your mind and live your best life today. I highly recommend you get this. Because this will help you in so many ways.

• 26:20Lewis Howes?

  Transform your life and give you step by step tools. For getting clear on your mission. And how to accomplish your mission. Based out of a place of peace and harmony. Rather than anger, resentment and seeking approval and validation. And the real wake up call. When I turned thirty. Happened when I thought and I received everything. And everything I ever wanted actually happened. And I was still unhappy. My relationships were broken. My business was falling apart. My health was falling apart. Yet I was accomplishing all these things externally. But why was I broken on the inside still? And when I finally shifted things was. The moment I started to shift.

• 27:04Lewis Howes?

  My practice for gratitude. And literally standing in front of a mirror as weird and silly as this might sound. Was literally practicing gratitude. And standing in front of a mirror. Saying, I like you. I love you. I know I'm gonna get a lot of weird reactions. I know a lot of the men watching this right now are listening right now are gonna. Already comment and say you're weak. This is lame. You're staring some stupid stuff right now, Lewis. I already know a lot of you are already commenting this or you're about to comment it right now. But real men. The real women. And real human beings can stand in front of the mirror and say, I like you. And mean it. And say, I love you and mean it. And if you can't.

• 27:48Lewis Howes?

  It's just a reflection. Of what's missing in your life. It's a reflection of where you get to grow. Where you get to heal. Where you get to improve. Where you get to forgive. Not only others in your life. But yourself. Who? And if you can't look in the mirror and say, I like you and I love you, then it just means you've got work to do. It doesn't mean you're a broken human being, but it might mean you have some breakdowns in your life that need a stronger foundation of healing, of mending, so you can come back stronger and start to believe that you are likable and lovable in this world. Because I used to think that I had so much shame and guilt inside of me

• 28:29Lewis Howes?

  from things that happened to me, from things I did, from things I said, from thoughts that I had. I used to hold on to the shame and just feel like if people knew what happened to me, or what I thought, or what I did, no one would like me, no one would love me. How could anyone like someone who's living in so much shame and guilt and insecurity? And so I had to step by step, start to heal, start to mend, start to rebuild. Because I was chasing approval, seeking validation, needing accomplishment to feel lovable. And yet I felt like I hated myself more and more every time I achieved greater and greater.

• 29:10Lewis Howes?

  And that's why in The Greatness Mindset, we talk about the process of healing and how to really go through that. I spent twelve and a half years interviewing the greatest neuroscientists, the greatest therapists, the greatest healers, the greatest leaders, talking about achieving from a place of harmony, rather than seeking approval from others. When you get this book and dive in, it's going to give you the guide on how to do that from the greatest minds in the world. And that simple practice broke the cycle of needing other people's approval. Now, there's a great story I actually talk about in this book. I want to share with you real quick. It kind of relates to this. On page 103 of The Greatness Mindset,

• 29:52Lewis Howes?

  I talk about ourselves as a work in progress. I talk about how to overcome self doubt, because self doubt is the killer of dreams. And I saw this video online that I quote in here. It was a video of Snoop Dogg talking about this, actually. I saw a video of Snoop Dogg after he was awarded a star. On the Hollywood Walk of Fame. So I live in Los Angeles, I'm fifteen minutes from Hollywood Walk of Fame. And he got his star on the Walk of Fame. He rattled off a list of all the things he was grateful for. Again, gratitude is the first thing that I talk about. If you can express what you're grateful for and look yourself in the mirror and say, I like you, I love you.

• 30:35Lewis Howes?

  He said, he talked about all the things he was grateful for and thanked a lot of people. Again, gratitude, grateful for people in his life. And lastly, this is what he said. He said, I want to thank me. I want to thank me for believing in me. I want to thank me for doing all this hard work. I want to thank me for having no days off. I want to thank me for never quitting. I want to thank me for always being a giver and trying to give more than I receive. I want to thank me for trying to do more right things than wrong things. I want to thank me for just being me at all times. It was kind of funny, like people were kind of laughing at it because he was like so audacious in how he shared this thing. But I actually really liked that example.

• 31:21Lewis Howes?

  Cause a lot of times we aren't able to look ourselves in the mirror and just say, I like you, I love you. And I want to thank you. I want to thank you for showing up this morning. I want to thank you for doing what you said you were going to do today. I want to thank you for having that courageous conversation because you allowed us to have more peace today. I want to thank you for working out today because you're taking care of our future self and our future us is thanking you now. I want to thank you. And it doesn't need to be filled with a bunch of ego and vibrato, but it can be the genuine likability, lovability for you and a thank you to yourself for showing up. You have gone through a lot in your life. You've gone through challenging times. You've gone through people who have abused you and abandoned you in different scenarios of life.

• 32:07Lewis Howes?

  You have been through people taking advantage of you. You have been through people laughing at you, making fun of you, telling jokes behind your back about you. You have been through a lot in your life. I know you have, because I've been through similar things. And we are very similar in a lot of ways. It's because all human beings have been through similar experiences. And some of us have had more challenges than others. But we've all experienced the inner critic, the inner doubt that says, "I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable. I'm not worthy. I'm not enough." And an action step I want you to take today is to start each morning by looking in the mirror and saying,

• 32:52Lewis Howes?

  "I am enough. I like myself. I love myself." And for all the men who are making fun of me right now, saying, "Louis, you're weak and soft." Hey, I feel peaceful. And if that's what it takes to have peace and harmony in my life and to have a thriving life where I feel proud of who I am, then I'm willing to have that. But these are practices that have worked for me. And it seems like it's worked for Snoop Dogg as well. Where he says, "I want to thank me for all the hard work. I want to thank me for showing up and doing good more than I do bad. I want to thank me. And I want to be grateful for the people in my life." And I think if Snoop Dogg can do it, then it's good enough for the rest of us guys as well.

• 33:33Lewis Howes?

  But I think the ladies in here who have more of an open-hearted mindset as well, I think you can resonate with this. But now, a lot of women who have never been able to look in the mirror without putting makeup on and say, "Ah, I'm judging myself. I'm critiquing myself. What is this? I wish my face looked different. I wish my body looked different." Because ladies criticize themselves the most. And if you can start to shift that energy, ladies, and just take a moment to look in the mirror, look at yourself in your beautiful eyes right now, into the beautiful soul that you have and say, "I am enough. I like myself. I love myself."

• 34:16Lewis Howes?

  Because you've probably spent years and hours looking into the mirror saying, "I'm not enough." And it's time we start undoing some of that damage. It's time we start undoing some of that negative thinking, that negative self-talk, that limiting self-doubt that only makes you feel worthless. It's time we start shifting the narrative. It's time you start speaking empowering thoughts into your eyes and into your heart and your soul. Because you are lovable, you are powerful, and you are enough. And you may not believe it right away. You might look in the mirror and do this exercise right now and say, "I'm enough. I like myself, I love myself."

• 35:01Lewis Howes?

  And your body may not believe it, your mind may not believe it. And it's going to take the courage to do it every single day. The first time I did this, I didn't believe it. I rejected it. But if you can soften your gaze, if you can look at yourself and really calm your eyes and look at yourself until you start to believe it, even for a moment, you can start to shift it in the energy in your body and your body can start to feel safe again. And that's what I want for you. I want you to start feeling safe with you. "I'm enough, I like myself, I love myself."

• 35:46Lewis Howes?

  I also want you to write down three things you're grateful for. Every single morning, write it down. If you want to write it down on your mirror while you do this exercise, write it down. "I'm grateful for this, this, and this." And then do this exercise in the mirror. Again, it's good enough for Snoop Dogg, I think it's good enough for you as well. Just an example there. Write down three things you're grateful for. Gratitude drowns out fear in comparison. Gratitude expands your heart. It expands you to feel more love as opposed to receiving more criticism and fear. And next time you're rejected by someone, or someone says no, or someone does something where it feels like a rejection, ask yourself, "What does this say about them?

• 36:31Lewis Howes?

  And why doesn't it change who I am?"

• 36:36Lewis Howes?

  Ask yourself, what does it say about who they are? And why doesn't it have to change who I am? It doesn't have to change who you are. And then one last thing here is to celebrate one small win each day to reinforce your self-worth. Whether that's, hey, I made my bed today. Hey, I followed through on the three things I said I was gonna do today. Hey, I reached out to a friend or two and I was generous today with them. I, I connected with them, I listened to them, I asked them questions. I did an act for someone today, some kind act, like, think about those things and celebrate one small win each day to reinforce your own self-worth.

• 37:14Lewis Howes?

  This is the end of framework number three, self-love over external validation. And I want to remind you that rejection doesn't define you. It only defines the people who couldn't see your value. Remember that. And also, we don't have to take everything so personally. Sometimes a rejection from someone else just means they might be too busy with something right now. And that's okay, because you're gonna need to say no to things as well in your life, because you have other things going on and it just doesn't fit in with your time or your schedule. We need to stop taking everything so personally as if it's a, a personal attack against us. And when you stop saying yes, just to be liked,

• 37:57Lewis Howes?

  when you allow others to support you instead of trying to do it all your, all yourself. And when you finally learn to love yourself, no matter what, rejection loses all of its power. These three frameworks destroyed my fear of rejection. And if you put them into practice, they'll do the same for you. And remember this, every no you hear is just clearing the path for the right yes in your life. In my book, I talk about the three killers of self-doubt. The fear of failure, the fear of success, and the fear of rejection. Rejection is one we talked about today.

• 38:40Lewis Howes?

  And I break down in the book each one, because each one of us has at least one of these fears. Some of us has two or three. If you're afraid to fail, leave a yes and let me know I've been afraid to fail in my life. If you've ever been afraid of success, say, I've, I've been afraid of success in my life in the comments. Or if you're afraid of rejection.

• 39:03Lewis Howes?

  Judgment, the, the opinions of other people, then leave a comment below that says, "I'm afraid of rejection." In the book, we break down how to overcome each fear, how to take back your own power. So make sure you get a copy of The Greatness Mindset if you don't have it already. And if this resonated with you in any way, if this spoke to you in some way, even if not all of it made sense, but if one thing made sense to you and it felt like it resonated, then type in the comments, "I'm ready." Type in the comments, "I'm ready." And you're gonna let me know, you're gonna signal to the world and to me that you're ready to start taking action.

• 39:45Lewis Howes?

  You're ready to start overcoming the old self that's been living in, "I'm not enoughness, I need to seek approval for other people, I need validation to feel liked and loved." And you're saying, "I'm ready to start stepping into a newer version of me that is living with power, intention, clarity, and freedom." And I want you to watch this video over and over again, anytime you feel rejection creeping back in, because repetition is how you start to restructure and rewire your mindset and step into your own personal power and your own personal greatness.

• 40:24Lewis Howes?

  If this video helped you, make sure to watch this one as well, right here, that I had, that has been going crazy for a lot of people. It's all about why most people stay poor, because they ignore this one law. I want you to have freedom internally with your worth in life, your self-worth, and I want you to create more financial worth as well, because when we increase our self-worth, our financial worth grows also. So if this has been powerful, make sure to check out this other video right now to start unlocking that in your life. And I want to remind you one last time in this episode, that you are loved, you're worthy, and you matter, and I'll see you very soon.

• 41:10Lewis Howes?

  I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately, that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.

• 41:54Lewis Howes?

  And now it's time to go out there and do something great.