921. Real Talk: Average Is Your Enemy

On today’s Real Talk, Andy talks about how most people are programmed for mediocrity by the people around them, and how to silence the “bitch voice” in your head through action. Learn how to take control of your inner dialogue, stop taking advice from losers, and kill the old version of yourself so you can become unstoppable.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:17Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys? It's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today I have a real talk. I'm just gonna get right into it, okay? Look, all of our lives, from the time we're born, all of us, by the law of averages, are surrounded by average people, average thinkers, mediocrity, people who are just trying to get by. And we have these people all around us. They're always talking about things in the same way.

• 1:01Andy Frisella?

  "I've gotta get it done, so I can take it easy." "I've gotta work hard till Friday, so I can relax." "Don't go too hard, don't forget where you came from, it's not that serious, you need to take it easy." These are the things that we grow up hearing. We hear them from our parents, we hear them from our teachers, we hear them from people that we look up to, unfortunately. And here's the problem with this. All of those things, because we hear them over and over and over again, become part

• 1:42Andy Frisella?

  of who we are and what we think and how we talk to ourselves. And I hear you guys, and I see you guys, talking about all these different things that make winning hard. "People don't believe in me." "People don't support me." "Nobody wants me to win." "People talk shit." All of these things are irrelevant. The only thing that is keeping you from where you want to go and who you want to become is your ability to recognize...

• 2:27Andy Frisella?

  That you are your own biggest enemy. And the reason that you're your own biggest enemy is because for years and years and years, you were filled with mediocrity. You were filled with the vocabulary of people that lose. And your brain now talks to you in that same way.

• 2:53Andy Frisella?

  You worked pretty hard today. You deserve a break. You know what? You did good on your diet for three days. Cheap meal's not gonna hurt you that bad. You know what? I'll start tomorrow. We'll start next week. We'll start on Monday. After the holiday, after that wedding, after that vacation, I'm gonna get my shit together. And then when things are going good, you're working too hard, don't forget to smell the roses.

• 3:23Andy Frisella?

  Don't forget who you are. That's an interesting statement, isn't it? Don't forget who you are. Who are you?

• 3:33Andy Frisella?

  What does that insinuate?

• 3:36Andy Frisella?

  What it insinuates is that you are an average motherfucker. You're doing good. Don't forget where you came from. What the fuck does that even mean? What does that even mean? What? Does that mean that you are supposed to be average? You are supposed to be like everybody else? Don't forget where you came from? Isn't that the whole fucking reason you're doing all of this? Isn't that the reason you want to win? Isn't that the reason you're sacrificing and investing all of this time, energy, blood, sweat, tears, frustration, anger? Into creating this life that you desire so you can get the fuck away from who you are?

• 4:21Andy Frisella?

  That's why you're doing this. But we are filled. Everywhere we look. With messages of average, messages of mediocre, messages of taking it easy. From people who have never ever done a fucking thing in their entire lives. And I would suggest to all of you that if you don't want to turn out like them, you better become aware of their influence in your life. Because that little voice that you hear that tells you, oh, you worked hard today. You could skip your workout. We'll do double tomorrow. That is your fucking enemy. It's not the people talking shit.

• 5:07Andy Frisella?

  It's not the, the, you know, the people from your hometown or the people on Instagram or who you went to high school with, or they don't believe in me, no motherfucker. You don't believe in you. Because you can't identify that you are your own biggest hater. You are the person that has the little voice on the inside that says, yeah, you know what? They're right. I don't think I can do this. Yeah, you know what? I do need a break. Yeah, you know what? I have been working pretty hard.

• 5:41Andy Frisella?

  And that's the voice that kills your whole fucking life. And you're so unaware of it that you can't identify it. You think it's coming from over here or over there, when in reality, it's coming from deep inside of you because that's all you've ever fucking heard. And if you want to change the outcome of your life, you're going to have to learn how to identify the voice inside of you that keeps you from doing the things that you're trying to do. All of us on the inside have two voices. We have a bitch voice and then we have a boss voice.

• 6:20Andy Frisella?

  The bitch voice is the voice that's been crafted and formed and created by our environment over time. It is the voice that has listened to every critic, every naysayer, every bit of negativity, and then reminds you of it every time you are trying to do something outside of the realm of everybody else. It'll be the first one to talk. It's not your friends, it's not your girlfriend, it's not your boyfriend, it's not your wife, it's not your friend group that's talking shit, it's fucking you.

• 6:57Andy Frisella?

  And you are blaming on everybody else instead of controlling your internal dialogue and identifying the bitch voice and looking at him straight in his fucking face and saying, you know what? Fuck you. I am gonna do this work. I don't need a break. I am gonna step the fuck up and do what I need to do. And when you start to identify the bitch voice and then start to defy it is when you start to make progress towards who you're actually meant to become. And the more that you silence that voice through action, the more progress you will make. The stronger your boss voice will become.

• 7:39Andy Frisella?

  When you have a strong boss voice and you have a weak bitch voice, the internal dialogue sounds completely different. It sounds more like this. Yeah, they can't fucking do it, but I can. Yep, that guy's settled, but I'm not. Yeah, I probably could take it easy, but then I'm gonna end up just like that dude. No, I don't want that. So I'm gonna go do the fucking work. And the way that you make this transition from a very loud bitch voice to quieting it to a very loud boss voice that encourages you and pushes you and makes you better is through action.

• 8:19Andy Frisella?

  You have to understand that when your voice chimes up and starts talking you out of shit, that is your signal to act immediately. The minute you hear your bitch voice chime in, you need to get up and do the exact opposite of what it's telling you to do. If it's telling you to take a break, you go do double the work. If it's telling you, ah, man, it's Sunday, you don't need to do this, you need to get the fuck up and do it. Every time you hear it, you need to take action because action is the only thing that will squash that voice permanently. It is the only thing that will get you to where

• 9:04Andy Frisella?

  you're trying to go because you're not just fighting the outside elements. You're not just fighting competition and the economy and the marketplace. That shit's hard enough. You're also fighting a lifetime of mediocre indoctrination that comes from every fucking place you've ever been in your life. Nobody grows up around winners 360 degrees. It doesn't happen. If you're lucky, you might know one or two people who win big. Most people have never even met someone that has won big in life and because they've never even met someone,

• 9:47Andy Frisella?

  they think it's impossible for them and it's not. You just have to understand that just because everybody else has put limits on their life and everybody else has settled and everybody else has accepted their reality for what they are given, not for what they take, doesn't mean that you can't have a completely different life. You have to understand that this is in your control. All of the things that are going to create your ultimate reality come from things that you can't control and anybody who tells you different has never

• 10:30Andy Frisella?

  done anything. You could control what you eat. You could control what you drink. You could control how you move your body. You could control who you associate with. You could control the information you put in your brain. Those are the things that are going to get you where you want to go and nobody can fucking stop those things but you. So ultimately, what do you have to do to succeed? Well, it's very simple. You have to stop listening to- Outside elements, stop surrounding yourself with outside elements that only think in mediocre

• 11:09Andy Frisella?

  terms, that have long ago quit on what they could have become and who you hang out with just because you think you're supposed to, or because you did at one point in your life. There's not a motherfucker out here who wins big, that surrounds himself with a bunch of mediocre people. It doesn't fucking happen, and it's not optional. You have to cut it out. And then after you cut it out, you have to then audit your internal dialogue to over time, remove their influence from yourself. Which means every time that voice comes in, every time that says, "Oh, I wonder what they're gonna think," or, "Hey, you know, you're not

• 11:54Andy Frisella?

  very humble anymore," or, "Hey, remember where you came from," or, "Hey," you know, and you think about the things someone said to you seven years ago that pisses you off. All of those things have to become part of what drives you. They have to become something that you silence through action. They have to become the switch that as soon as it's flipped, you are moving towards where you want to be. And when you become the person who can take the negative influence, the negative voice, the doubt, the frustration, the pain, the non-belief, and you can turn that in to productive action, there is nothing

• 12:34Andy Frisella?

  and nobody on the fucking planet who can stop you from becoming who you want to become. Everybody who says it's up to chance or circumstance has lost. You never hear someone who's winning tell you, "Oh, it was just I was in the right place at the right time. Oh, you know, I, I don't know, I just fell out of the fucking womb and I became rich." Okay? You don't have these situations for most people. Most people who have ever become the kind of people that you want to become have done it the exact same way I'm telling you. They take every fucking word, they take every doubt, they take every frustration, whether it comes

• 13:18Andy Frisella?

  from them on the outside, or more than likely you on the inside, they take that and they use it. They move, they act, they fight, they sweat, they bleed at the threat of mediocrity. And after a while, you don't hear it anymore. You don't hear the bitch voice anymore. The bitch voice goes away. And you become that version of yourself you've always wanted to become. So if you're wondering why it's so hard to win, if you're wondering why you have such a problem with it, it's not the circumstances, it's not where you came from, it's not how you were born, or what color you are, or this or that or the other,

• 14:03Andy Frisella?

  or somebody else had it easier. It's none of those things. It's that you can identify that you are taking direction from a literal fucking loser that has been implanted in you from all the other losers that you've been surrounded by your entire life. And your job is to kill that version of yourself so that only the strong one exists. And if you can do that, you can do anything.