Midyear Wake-Up Call | Part 1

You can hit every goal you set in January and still be running on empty in the parts of your life the list never thought to measure. That's not a failure story. That's a design flaw in the instrument most of us reach for at the midpoint of the year. Jonathan Fields has spent 14 years exploring what it takes to build a life that genuinely feels like yours. In this solo episode, he gets personal about a stretch that looked, by every external measure, like one of the best runs he'd had in years. A major work transition, real momentum in business, and every morning from 7:30 to 9, writing the first draft of his first novel. A genuinely good season. And one that was quietly drawing down on something no scorecard ever caught. What you'll explore in this conversation: Why grading yourself against January goals in July is the least useful thing you can do at the midpoint of the year, and what to reach for insteadThe three Good Life Buckets framework (Vitality, Connection, Contribution) as a practical audit tool, not an abstract ideaTwo ways a bucket drains that most driven, successful people never see coming: the leak and the missing refillWhy the most dangerous bucket is often not the one that aches, but the one filling and draining at the same timeThree reckoning questions that surface something more honest than any goal list you've ever writtenWhy so many of us would rather stay tired and certain than rested and unsure, and what it actually costs us This is Part 1 of a two-part series. Part 2 arrives in a few days with the specific actions to take for your mid-year wake-up call. Episode Transcript https://www.goodlifeproject.com/podcast/midyear-bucket-audit-jonathan-fields If you LOVED this episode, you can find the 1-page worksheet HERE. https://www.goodlifeproject.com/ws2026/ Next week, we're coming back for Part 2 of this series with Jonathan to talk about what to actually do once you've named the bucket, and why you don't need a plan for the second half of your year. You need a move. One small, real, repeatable move. And we're going to figure it out together in real time before that episode is over. Be sure to follow Good Life Project wherever you get your podcasts so you don't miss it. Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the Wheel https://jonathanfields.substack.com/aboutVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes https://www.goodlifeproject.com/sponsors/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jonathan Fields?

  So we're at the middle of the year and most of us, if we mark this moment at all, we mark it by pulling out the goals that we set back in January and grading ourselves against them. Did I do the things? Am I on track? Over these next two episodes, I want to make the case that this is close to the least useful thing that you can do at the halfway mark of the year. January is aspiration. July is evidence and the whole grading yourself against January move neatly hides one piece of information this moment is actually trying to hand you. So here's where we're going. I'm going to tell you about a year of mine that looked from the outside like one of the best I've had and felt from the inside like something had gone a little bit sideways. I'm going

• 0:44Jonathan Fields?

  to make the case for why the thing that looks most like success in your year might actually be the exact thing that is draining the rest of it. And I'm going to give you three questions that tell you the truth about what's going on in your life. Maybe not the whole truth about everything, but a lot of truths, not one of which involves your goals, your step count, or your net worth, or anything else that you might be inclined to measure against. So excited to share this series with you. I'm Jonathan Fields and this is Good Life Project. We'll be right back with that right after this short break.

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• 2:34Jonathan Fields?

  Good Life Project is sponsored by ShipStation. So, most of us know Black Friday from the shopping side, but plenty of you know the other side too. You turn the side project into a real thing, and then peak season hits and every order you hoped for lands at once. And suddenly, it's midnight and you're buried in boxes. That's exactly the moment ShipStation is built for. It's an end-to-end order fulfillment platform that syncs orders from all your online stores into one place, so you're not scrambling when volume spikes. Its automated rate shopping compares UPS, USPS, and FedEx in real time with savings up to 90%, so you're not overpaying when it matters most. If I were building a product business right now, this is the piece I'd want handled.

• 3:17Jonathan Fields?

  ShipStation helps you get back to what you started for. Peak season doesn't wait, and neither should you. Get ahead of it today with ShipStation and get 60 days free at shipstation.com with the code GOODLIFE. That's shipstation.com code GOODLIFE. Taxes and fees apply. So, let me tell you about this past year, and I'm going to tell it honestly, which, in my case, means a little bit of telling on myself. Not because it was a bad year, just the opposite. It was one of the richest, most rewarding stretches I've had in a really long time, which it turns out is exactly the kind of first half of the year this whole episode is about.

• 3:58Jonathan Fields?

  And by any measure I have set for myself, it was a genuinely good run. I mean, of course, there were challenges along the way, but good things happening. They came together at once. One was a major transition in my work life that I've been building towards for years. A real accomplishment and honestly, a privilege, one I'm proud of and grateful for. Hand it off to exactly the right people and one that I won't bore you with the logistics of. Another was a whole season of building and momentum in business. And the one I love most was maybe the smallest, but the most meaningful. Every morning from about 7:30 to 9:00 AM, before the world could get its hands on me, I was writing a novel, my first.

• 4:42Jonathan Fields?

  And late spring, I finished the first full draft, which was gloriously, magnificently bad. Exactly the way a first draft should be. And I loved every minute of making it. So that's the picture from the outside. And here's what matters about it. It was also a good picture from the inside. It wasn't miserable. I wasn't burning out in any dramatic cinematic way. A lot of it felt genuinely solid, which is precisely why the thing I'm about to describe was so easy to miss. Because underneath all that good, there was a current kind of running the other way. All of that work, the transition and the building and the dozen other things that a

• 5:23Jonathan Fields?

  business asks of you, it leaned heavily on the kind of work that for me drains rather than fills. In my own framework, I call that your anti-spark type. Mine is what we call the essentialist. You know, that detailed, operational, get every last item into its box kind of work and really valuable work, you know? And the thing about your anti-spark type is not that you can't do it. I can and I did, and I think I did it reasonably well, arguable maybe. It's that doing it, it costs you something that it wouldn't cost someone who's actually wired to be lit up and energized, sparked by the same work. It draws down on a reserve that for me is mostly mental.

• 6:08Jonathan Fields?

  And for a good, long stretch, I found myself living almost entirely on that side of myself. And here's where I'd like us to kind of pause and appreciate the full comedy of it. I once built an entire body of work, a book, assessments, and honestly, concerning number of slides, all around a single idea that doing the wrong kind of work for you will wear you down over time. And then, fully briefed by my own life's work, I spent months doing a great deal of exactly that kind of work. And if you've ever wanted proof that knowing a thing and living a thing are two completely different sports, I am your example. Now, here's the part where I really want to be straightforward about it, because what

• 6:53Jonathan Fields?

  keeps us from being any kind of sob story, which is absolutely is not, I saw this happening. I'm not going to pretend that I sleepwalked into it. Somewhere in the thick of it, I noticed the drawdown. I could, I could feel the mental reserve getting thin. And I made a conscious choice to stay in that mode anyway. Because what it was serving genuinely mattered to me and carried real benefits that I decided with open eyes were absolutely worth it. I'd make a lot of the same choices. Again, so this isn't a story of somebody who got depleted by accident and came here to sort of like moan about it. I chose a demanding season

• 7:36Jonathan Fields?

  on purpose, for good reasons. And as part of that, I also chose work that I knew would actively empty me out. Right? But maybe here's where I would do it a little bit differently. Because choosing a hard season is one thing. What I didn't do, and maybe should have, was to protect the handful of things that refill me while I was in it. The novel, thank goodness, I kept. That 90 minutes stayed sacred. It fed me more than I can overstate. And I think in hindsight, I'm realizing how important that was to me on a rebuilding energy standpoint. But the other one was making things with my hands.

• 8:18Jonathan Fields?

  I kind of let go of that. And that one's a bit sneaky because it doesn't only clear my head. The making is its own kind of deeply nourishing work for me. It isn't a break from contribution. It is contribution, the kind with, you know, with nothing to do with deadlines or outcomes, or everything to do with just the plain satisfaction of having made a real thing you can touch and feel and that exists in the world. So setting it down wasn't dropping a hobby. I was kind of actively defunding, one of the few things paying into two parts of me at once, right when the hard work made me need it more than ever. And I'd love to

• 9:01Jonathan Fields?

  tell you that I made that call deliberately. I waited, decided that making could wait. I didn't. I just kind of lost week after week to my inbox, which tends to always win these contests, because the inbox is a relentless full-time professional and the workbench seemed to be a hobby that never once sent a reminder to me like, hey, I'm here. There was no moment of decision on that front. I simply looked up one day and I kind of couldn't remember the last time that I'd made something with my hands that made me feel really good, which is how it often goes. Nothing dramatic happens. It just goes a little at a time while you're

• 9:44Jonathan Fields?

  looking somewhere else. I'm guessing you can probably relate to that. It took about, until about the halfway year of the mark, once the busiest stretch of all of this work started to ease and there was a little bit of room to feel anything at all, for the whole shape of it to really land, you know, that a genuinely good, genuinely chosen season had still drawn me down in places that nobody could see, mostly the mental side of things. And that I kept the refill that I loved and dropped the one that I needed. And that even a season that you would choose again has a cost side. And I had kind of stopped looking at mine actively and regularly.

• 10:27Jonathan Fields?

  And that pointed me at one more thing, which is really where part two of the series is headed a little bit later in the week. The making thing I'd let slide, it was never going to survive on good intentions. I'd just run that experiment and publish the results. If I want to hold through the next demanding season, and there's always a next demanding season, especially for me as a maker. I love building things and that can be things with my hands, but often it's also brands and businesses and books. It's just kind of wired into me. So I know that that's coming and it's going to need more structure, actual commitment, something sturdier than me just liking the idea of doing things a bit differently.

• 11:08Jonathan Fields?

  Now, here's the part that I most want you to hear about all of this as I invite you into sort of like reimagining what the first half of your year brought you and what you might want the second half to bring you. While I was living this, even after I had noticed something was a bit off, I couldn't have told you cleanly what it was. I had the sort of like a low background hum, a vague unease and no real language in the moment to pin it on. What finally let me see the whole picture was a ridiculously simple way of looking at life that I have leaned on for years. So before we go one step further, let me hand that to you because it's a lens for everything else we're going to do today and then in part two of this series.

• 11:53Jonathan Fields?

  So here's the way I look at life. I think of it as resting on three buckets, just three. And the idea is almost embarrassingly simple, which is exactly why it works. Nearly everything that makes a life genuinely good drops into one of these three buckets. The first is vitality, your mind and body, your energy, your health, your sleep, how alive you actually feel inside your own skin. When it's full, when that vitality bucket is full, you feel capable and awake. When it runs low, everything else gets harder and you tend to blame the wrong things for it. The second bucket is the connection bucket. This is about your relationships, not how many, but how real.

• 12:37Jonathan Fields?

  The people who actually know you, the ones you can be unguarded with, the sense that you belong somewhere and to someone and with others. And when it's full, you feel held and seen. When it runs low, you can be literally surrounded by people and still feel strangely alone. And the third bucket is what I call the contribution bucket. The meaning that you draw from how you use your energy in the world. This is your work in the biggest sense of that word, not necessarily paid. The sense that you're making or helping or building something that wouldn't exist without you, that there's meaning and mattering in what you're doing. And when it's full, your days feel like they count.

• 13:21Jonathan Fields?

  When it runs low, you can be busy from sunup to sundown, and I have done this, and feel like none of it really adds up to much of anything you care about. Vitality, connection, contribution. Mind and body, relationships, meaningful work. And if you're new here, that's the whole model. It's yours now. And we'll be right back after a word from our sponsors. Good Life Project is sponsored by Bombas. So there's this moment every fall here in Boulder. The morning air is crisp, the light goes golden against the mountains, and something in you just wants to slow down, like soft layers and long walks and a warm mug and a good book.

• 14:02Jonathan Fields?

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• 14:46Jonathan Fields?

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• 14:59Jonathan Fields?

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• 15:43Jonathan Fields?

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• 16:27Jonathan Fields?

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• 17:14Jonathan Fields?

  Now, take that lens back to the story because this is where it earns its keep as we take a look back at the first half of the year and tap that same model to explore what's to come in the next half. That drawdown feeling that I couldn't quite name, that's vitality. Mostly for me, it was on the mental side, worn low by just months of work that was depleting me. That part is clean enough. Contribution is a little bit more interesting here. The one that I want you watching because it shows you something, a scorecard, the basics are like goals and checkboxes, never will show you. From the outside, for me, it looked great, big wins, real momentum.

• 17:58Jonathan Fields?

  And one piece of it genuinely was, the novel, it fed it every morning. And actually, there's a second piece too. There was this beautiful, powerful business transition that just went really well and I'm super proud of. But what I've noticed is that a bucket, especially the contribution bucket, tends to not fill evenly and it doesn't fill from outcomes. Good results poured into the top while the daily grind was more depleting on the bottom. And the practice that would have added the most, the making side, the physical craft, the making, I'd set it on a shelf.

• 18:39Jonathan Fields?

  And that one's a little bit sticky because it pays into two buckets at once. It clears my head, which is vitality, and it's also its own kind of meaningful making, which is contribution. So letting that go, it wasn't just one hit in hindsight, it was two, from a single move that I never actually proactively decided to make. Which brings me to the real question of the day, because having a good way to see your life is one thing, actually using it honestly is another. And most of us, when we sit down to take stock, we reach for a completely different instrument, one that feels rigorous and responsible and that tells us almost nothing that's true.

• 19:22Jonathan Fields?

  That different instrument is the scorecard. And I want to show you why it fails us, because the failure is so easy to miss. And I'm raising my hand here, I have missed it so many times in my own life and I probably will again. When most of us take stock at the midpoint of a year, here's what we actually reach for, that scorecard. We pull up the goals, the resolutions, the intentions that we set in the cold, clean light of January, and we grade ourselves against them. On track, behind, ahead, failed. Some of us even make a spreadsheet color-coded with one tab we're not proud of. It feels rigorous. It feels like the responsible, grown-up thing to do.

• 20:04Jonathan Fields?

  And I want to suggest that the scorecard is the easier thing, precisely because it's the less honest thing. So here's why. The goals you set in January were set by a specific person in a specific state at a specific moment. And that person was, I mean, let's be honest, a little bit lying to you, not maliciously, aspirationally. There's a well-documented pattern that psychologists, Daniel Kahneman and Almaz Tversky named, the planning fallacy. Our consistent, almost unshakable tendency to underestimate how long things will take

• 20:45Jonathan Fields?

  and how much they'll cost, even when we have years of personal evidence that we always underestimate. It may be the single most relatable feature of human planning, a good deal more reliable than the plans themselves. January you is in the full grip of the planning fallacy. January you believes this is the year. January you has not yet actually met the year. So grading yourself against January's goals in July measures your real, lived, complicated six or seven months against predictions made by an optimist who didn't know what was coming. Of course, we pretty much always come up short.

• 21:28Jonathan Fields?

  Everyone comes up short against that kind of fantasy metric. I am Exhibit A here, like same as everybody. We plan for the version where nothing goes sideways. Even if we plan for things to go sideways, there's so much we cannot see or anticipate. And then we live in the version where everything takes the time it actually takes. Plus, a little extra for the surprises we swore wouldn't happen this time. So grading myself in July against my confident January math would have only confirmed that January me was an optimist, which I kinda already knew. That's how I admired. That's the ceiling on what a scorecard can teach you. It can prove you were hopeful

• 22:10Jonathan Fields?

  once. It cannot tell you how you're actually doing. But that's not even the deepest problem with the scorecard. The deeper problem is that it measures the wrong thing entirely. Think about what a goal actually is. A goal is a box, right? It's binary. Did you or didn't you lose the weight, or didn't hit the revenue number, or didn't write the pages, or didn't wrote the book, or didn't make the thing happen, or didn't? Boxes are wonderful for projects. They're kinda almost useless for a life. Because the things that actually determine whether your life is going well, they're not boxes,

• 22:52Jonathan Fields?

  they're levels. They rise and fall. They're kinda more like the buckets. Those exact three that I just walked you through. How full is your energy, your health, your physical aliveness? How full is your sense of real connection to the people who matter? How full is your, your, your sense that, you know, like what you're doing with your days actually counts for something? None of those are, did I or didn't I? Every one of them is, how full or empty is it right now? And this is what the scorecard, it can never tell you. You can hit every single goal on your January list and be running empty in the parts of your life the list never thought to measure. I'm living proof, and I have been living proof many times over in the

• 23:37Jonathan Fields?

  past and I will be in the future. My scorecard last spring was excellent, but my life had a bit of a hole in it. The scorecard asks, did you do what you said you'd do? The reckoning asks a harder, kinda more useful question. Across the things that actually make a life, where do you genuinely stand right now, today, regardless of what you intended six months ago?

• 24:06Jonathan Fields?

  And the reason that July is a great time to ask this, the reason I argue it's a more honest checkpoint than January will ever be, is that the aspiration has worn off. In January, you have no evidence. You have, maybe you have a little bit of evidence because you've done big things in the past, right? But generally, we set goals, or we set up the scorecard for things where we don't know what this year is going to look like. So it's all based on aspiration. You have hopes, a clean page, and a feeling. But July, you have six months of how you actually spent your time, your hours, your days, your moments, your minutes, what you reached for,

• 24:46Jonathan Fields?

  and what you let slide. This isn't aspiration anymore. That's data, real flattering, unflattering, useful data about how you actually live when nobody's making resolutions. A goal can tell you whether you did what you planned. Only an honest look at the whole of your life can tell you whether the plan was ever worth doing. So if we're putting down the scorecard, we need something to pick up in its place. Kind of need a better instrument. And that's exactly what those three good life buckets are for. Not just a nice way to think about a life in the

• 25:25Jonathan Fields?

  abstract, but an actual gauge, a way to kind of take the reading on how full each part of your life really is right now, today. And here's why this beats a goal list for honest stuff. Goals live almost entirely in one bucket. Usually contributions, sometimes vitality. We set goals about careers and often our bodies. Sometimes our mindsets too, but way too often, it's about careers and bodies. We very rarely set one that says, be more genuinely known by the people I love. Things like that. So if you only measure your goals, you're systematically often ignoring a third of your life, sometimes maybe more, and very likely letting it run dry

• 26:10Jonathan Fields?

  while you look somewhere else. The buckets, they don't let you do that. They make you look at all three. And the moment you look at all three, honestly, you almost always find they're nowhere near evenly filled. But there's a subtler thing going on here also, one that I learned last year, the hard and personal way, that I also want to hand you because almost nobody is saying it out loud. We tend to assume there's only one way that a bucket ever gets low. You stop filling it. Simple, obvious, and it turns out often completely wrong. Because there are two sneakier ways that a good life bucket runs down.

• 26:53Jonathan Fields?

  And they happen to be the exact ways that really get that good, capable, busy person. The ones who would never just neglect their own lives on purpose and who are, you know, often the very last to suspect that they're doing things to empty their buckets. The first way is that a bucket can drain at the same time that it's filling. Sounds counterintuitive, but picture pouring water into a bucket that's got a slow leak in the bottom. The level can look steady, even rising, while the whole time it's actually losing water. And that was in part my work in the earlier part of this year. Good results pouring in at the top.

• 27:34Jonathan Fields?

  The daily grind of some of the work that was depleting to me was leaking straight out of the bottom. And on a scorecard, you only ever see what's going in. You never once see the leak. But the second way, it's kind of a sneaky way, is that the things that refill a good life bucket are almost always the first that we cut when life fills up. Cause they have no deadline and nobody chasing them. So, nobody emails you about your walk. No one escalates your sleep. The workbench or your, the artist's studio, wherever it is, has never in its entire life sent a follow-up. So, the refills go first every single time.

• 28:18Jonathan Fields?

  And here's the part that really costs you, the part that I learned in the expensive way. Some of those refills pay into more than one bucket at once. The making that I dropped, it wasn't only good for my head, it was a real source of meaning, too. One practice, two accounts. So cutting it didn't cost me once, it cost me twice. And I filled the whole thing in my head under sensible, temporary, grown up decision making, which is where I keep most of my mistakes, actually, if I really think about it. This is one of the most common and least discussed ways that good, driven, hardworking people, even like who are succeeding by external measures, end up running low. Not because they're failing at the scorecard side of things,

• 29:02Jonathan Fields?

  but because the leak and the missing refills don't show up anywhere they're looking. The scorecard says winning, the body and the spirit, and often the relationships, are filing a very different report. And the two almost never get read side by side. So when I ask you to take stock with the buckets, I'm not only asking which one looks low, I'm asking a slightly more maybe uncomfortable pair of questions. Which bucket has been running low in plain sight? And which bucket has been leaking out the bottom, even while it fills, looking like a clean win on the outside while it costs you on the inside? Because the bucket that's draining you is very often not the one that aches.

• 29:46Jonathan Fields?

  It's the one you're being congratulated for. The most dangerous bucket isn't the one that's empty. It's the one filling and draining at the same time, because the scorecard only ever shows you the part that's filling. Okay, so let's do the audit part of this. Let's get kind of more granular here. Let's walk the three buckets one at a time. And for each one, I'm going to give you a question, sort of like the real question, not the scorecard question, the reckoning question. The one that actually services something more honest, the truth. And I want to say this clearly upfront. The goal here is not to make you feel bad about whichever bucket is low.

• 30:32Jonathan Fields?

  The goal is just to see it more clearly. You can't do a single useful thing about a bucket you won't look at. So today is the looking. Part two of this series in just a couple of days is where we're going to do something about it. So today we're focusing on telling the truth, getting honest. And we'll be right back after a word from our sponsors. Good Life Project is sponsored by TinCan. So if you grew up in the seventies or eighties, you probably still remember your best friend's phone number and stretching the kitchen phone cord around the corner for privacy. Our executive producer, Lindsay, wanted that same freedom for her kids, eight and 10.

• 31:15Jonathan Fields?

  So in January, she got them a tin can. Now friends call the house to chat, make plans and check in without borrowing her phone. They even keep a handwritten phone book next to it. I kind of love that. TinCan is the new school way for kids to talk with their friends. It's a secure landline that lets them call all their favorite people, but with parental controls to keep them protected. No screens, no algorithms, no texting, just a phone being a phone. Kids can only call or be called by people on your approved list. Calls to other tin cans and 911 are always free. And there's even an answering machine for messages that are, I'm told, gloriously ridiculous. Go to tincan.com/goodlife to get $10 off your first order, exclusive for our listeners.

• 32:00Jonathan Fields?

  That's tincan.com/goodlife for $10 off. And when you use our link, you're supporting our show. Tincan.com/goodlife. This message is brought to you by Apple Card. Ah, fall, that cozy season where we swap the swimwear for sweaters and sunnies for scars. But before the Halloween decorations are put away or Thanksgiving table has been set, There's already holly jolly music playing in the grocery store, reminding you that the year is coming to a close. Time to kick end of year into high gear. When you use Apple Card with Apple Pay, you earn 2% daily cash back on all purchases, including food, decorations, gifts, and more. Get a head start on your end of year purchases.

• 32:44Jonathan Fields?

  Apply for your Apple Card in the Wallet app on your iPhone today and start using it right away with Apple Pay. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City branch. Terms and more at applecard.com.

• 33:02Speaker 01

  With no fees or minimums on checking accounts, it's no wonder the Capital One Bank guy is so passionate about banking with Capital One. If he were here, he wouldn't just tell you about no fees or minimums. He'd also talk about how most Capital One cafes are open seven days a week to assist with your banking needs. Yep, even on weekends. It's pretty much all he talks about, in a good way. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See capitalone.com/bank. Capital One, N A, Member FDIC.

• 33:35Jonathan Fields?

  So let's start with vitality, your mind and body. A scorecard question for vitality often goes something like, did you hit your fitness goals? Did you lose the weight? Did you run the miles? Did you hit the macros? Finish the program? Put that question down for the moment. Here's the reckoning question instead. When was the last time you felt genuinely energized? Not caffeinated, not running on adrenaline, a deadline, and the heroic optimism of a third coffee? I mean, actually energized, rested in a way that held alive in your own body and glad to be in it at peace in your mind? For a lot of us, and this was certainly true for me, the honest answer to that question is

• 34:19Jonathan Fields?

  a number of months we don't really want to say out loud. Notice what the question does that the fitness goal or the more scorecardy type of thing doesn't. You can technically hit a workout goal or another, you know, like sort of like external goal or target and still be exhausted and lack energy in your bones. You can still be losing weight through sheer grim willpower and feel terrible the entire time. You can be achieving your lifestyle goals and feel empty. The scorecard would call that a win. Your body knows better. The lie we tell ourselves in this bucket is almost always some version of, "I'll get back to it when things calm down." That

• 35:02Jonathan Fields?

  has been my pattern so often. After this project, after the season, after the deal closes, as if, quote, "things coming down," we're actually a real scheduled event that has even once ever actually occurred. We treat our physical and mental aliveness as the thing that can always be deferred, the loan we can just kind of always take out because the body and the mind keeps showing up for work even after we've stopped paying it like the most loyal, underappreciated employee in the building, right up until the morning that it doesn't, and hand you the invoice for everything all at once with interest. And the way that an empty vitality bucket actually feels, before we have a

• 35:44Jonathan Fields?

  name for it, it's actually rarely dramatic. It's not usually a collapse. It's a kind of a flatness, a graininess, a sense of moving through your daze behind a thin pane of glass with a lack of energy. Things that used to light you up or energize you land as just kind of one more thing to handle. You're tired in a way that doesn't really seem to be touched by sleep because the tiredness isn't really about sleep. It's about an account that you've been overdrawing for a very long time. So if you want to take the reading on this one, here's a simple way in. Think back over the last, call it a week or so, and try to find a single hour where you felt physically and mentally

• 36:28Jonathan Fields?

  good in your body, in your mind, not productive, not on top of things, just good, loose, rested, focused, at peace, awake. Most of us trying this, we find ourselves actually reaching back well past a week. And the reaching itself is the data. The other tell is it's how you talk about your own body and mind. If the only times that you think about it are when something hurts, when you're managing it, or apologizing for it, or promising to deal with it later, that is a bucket that you've stopped depositing into and only withdraw from. And notice, I'm not asking you to fix anything right now. I'm not handing you a protocol or a program.

• 37:13Jonathan Fields?

  That's not today. Today, the entire job is just let yourself register honestly where the needle actually sits. And most of us skip this part. We, we just jump straight to the fix because the fix feels like progress and the looking just doesn't feel great. But you cannot solve for a number you refuse to read. So that's the one to sit with here. Not did I do my workouts, whatever the thing was, but when did I last feel genuinely physically and mentally alive? And how long has it honestly been? Let that one be a little uncomfortable.

• 37:55Jonathan Fields?

  The discomfort is just information. Okay. Now it's time for the second bucket, connection bucket. The relationships in your life. The scorecard question here, to the extent we even bother tracking this one, it often goes something like, did I see people? Did I keep up? Did I show up to things, answer texts, return calls? Tap the little heart on the photo so they'll know I'm still alive? Put that down too. Here's more of the reckoning question. Who actually knows what this year has really been like for you?

• 38:35Jonathan Fields?

  Not who did you see, not who do you owe a text? Who, if anyone, actually knows the texture of your last six months? The real version, you know, the kind of the hard part you didn't post about. Who in your life has the actual unedited story of how you've been? For a lot of us, when we're honest, that list is shorter, often a lot shorter than we'd like. Sometimes it's entirely empty. And that can be a genuine shock to discover about a life that is by all appearances, completely full of people. Because that's the particular danger of the connection bucket. It's the one that's easiest to kind of like fake full.

• 39:20Jonathan Fields?

  Because a packed calendar looks, it looks an awful lot like a full life, especially from across the room. You can have a calendar jammed with people and a connection bucket that isn't merely dry. Because proximity is not connection and contact is not being known. I have watched this one fool people I love. And I have been fooled by it myself so many times in seasons where I was just around people all day long and somehow rarely actually with any of them. All that contact, it was real, but a lot of it was transactional. And it was me showing up as, you know, the capable managing version of myself,

• 40:04Jonathan Fields?

  which is a version that by its very nature is not being known. It's being useful. And the lie that we tell ourselves here is everyone's busy. It's, it's just this season. We'll reconnect when things settle down. And the relationships being like made of patient and loving people, they mostly wait for a while. But connection isn't a thing that holds at a level when you stop tending it. It kind of settles like sediment into something more distant and more careful. And one day you reach for a closeness that used to be there. And you find that you kind of have to clear your throat first.

• 40:43Jonathan Fields?

  The way that a low connection bucket actually feels before you name it is often a very specific kind of loneliness, not the loneliness of being alone, kind of this stranger, more disorienting loneliness of being surrounded and still unseen, of being everyone's reliable person and no one's confidant, of ending a full day of interaction and kind of feeling underneath it all oddly untouched by any of it. And here's the concrete way to take this reading and heads up here, it may sting a bit. Picture something hard happening tonight, not catastrophic, just kind of genuinely hard, right?

• 41:25Jonathan Fields?

  A scare, a loss, a piece of news that knocked the wind out of you. Now ask who you'd actually call. Not who you should call, it's not about shoulds here, not who'd be hurt to learn later that they weren't called, who you'd reach for at 11 at night or 2 in the morning without rehearsing it first. Count that on one hand, for a lot of us, the honest count is one or two, or in the busiest seasons, sometimes it's a unsettling zero, not because people aren't out there, but because we kind of let the lines go slack and stop being reachable ourselves. And here's the part I want to be careful about, because I'm not trying to make anyone feel like a failure at being human.

• 42:10Jonathan Fields?

  This is just life, a short list is not a character flaw, it's a maintenance reading, right? Connection is the most renewable of the three buckets. People are almost always still there, maybe a little further out than before, waiting to be reached for, but you have to see the gap honestly before you'll close it. And most of us would rather stay busy than admit that that gap is there. So that's the question, not did I keep up with people, but who actually knows the real version of my year? And if that list is short, that's not a verdict on whether you're loved or whether you're a good person, it's just the current level of your bucket.

• 42:55Jonathan Fields?

  And the level can change, but only if you let yourself see it first. And that brings us to the third bucket, right? Contribution. This is, it's the meaning you get from how you devote yourself in the world. This is the one that I have to be kind of most careful and most honest about because my own year held both its brightest spot and its biggest blind spot, right here in the same bucket. And my own year, I mean, like the first half of this year, by the way, like we are still in the middle and there's still so much that can shift. But this is also the one where the scorecard often does the most damage because contribution is where we tend to keep the most score.

• 43:38Jonathan Fields?

  Revenue, output, income, titles, projects shipped. The metrics are everywhere and they're seductive, right? Because they're countable and a number you can, you can put on a dashboard and admire is just very hard to walk away from, to not be seduced by. So the scorecard question for contribution is, was I productive? Did I get a lot done? Did I hit the number, ship the things, move it all forward, right? I'm going to invite you again to put that down because, and I cannot stress this enough, given sort of like my first half of the year, you can answer a resounding yes to all of that and still have a real depletion in this bucket. Here's the reckoning question instead.

• 44:24Jonathan Fields?

  Did the work actually feel like mine or was I just executing? There's a real difference between work that, that fills the contribution bucket and work that merely fills the day. Work fills the contribution bucket when it feels like an expression of you. You know, when at least some of the time you look up and think, yeah, this is the thing that I'm about, that I'm for. Work merely fills the day when it's just demand. Competent, important, necessary demand, but demand. You're processing it, handling, being responsible, and none of it is feeding you, even though all of it is fusing you up.

• 45:07Jonathan Fields?

  But this bucket also tends to have a second pattern that I described earlier, the leak. All the buckets leak, but this one, it's really, it can be kind of tough to spot and, and really cause a lot of trouble. So I want to come back to it right here because contribution is where the leak fools most of us. Right? Here's the trap. And it's a good one because it's built out of our own competence. We treat any work that produces a good result as if it fills this bucket. It does not. This bucket fills from work that feels like an expression of who you are. It drains from work that's just heavy, just a grind, even when that grind produces excellent measurable results.

• 45:52Jonathan Fields?

  Which means you can run a whole year of real accomplishments, trophies and all, and find this bucket lower than when you started. Right? The outcomes went in the top, the daily experience leaked out the bottom. And I had a version of this, running both directions at once this year, which is what makes it, at least for me, like such a good teacher. One part of my contribution was unmistakably full, really full. The novel every morning, that as it cheerfully was, was the realest kind of filling there is. Work that felt like an expression of me, a beautiful business transition that felt really good. But a lot of the rest of my hours were the draining kind. The, the grind that produces results without feeding you.

• 46:37Jonathan Fields?

  And I'd let go of the making, the physical act of making, which is so nourishing and important for me, one of the purest bucket fillers that I have when it comes to contribution. So this bucket, it wasn't empty. And it wasn't also simply full. It was being poured into and drained at the same time. And for the longest time, I didn't notice because the winds kept the gauge looking fine. So here's the concrete tell for a leaking contribution bucket. Because it hides often inside your own success. It's the gap between how the work looks and how it feels. If the results are real and the recognition is real, and yet you're oddly flat about it, unmoved by your own good news,

• 47:20Jonathan Fields?

  that flatness, it isn't ingratitude. It's the gauge telling you that the work is succeeding and draining you at the same time. So this bucket, it kind of has like two reckoning questions here. The first, does my work actually feel like mine? Or am I just executing? And the second, the one almost nobody asks, is this bucket leaking? Is the work that looks most successful, the very work draining me dry? And what did I stop doing? The things that genuinely fill it to keep the results coming?

• 48:03Jonathan Fields?

  The lie in this bucket is the most sophisticated of the three, because it dresses up as a virtue. It sounds like this is just what it takes right now. This is responsibility. I'll get to everything else when the season is done. And look, sometimes that is true. Sometimes that is real. There are seasons that genuinely ask everything of us. This is just what it takes is also often the most effective thing you can tell yourself to avoid noticing that you've built a life or days with two empty rooms in it and called it success. And what a struggling contribution bucket feels like, before you even name it, it tends to come in two flavors. The empty kind feels like busyness with no point, like climbing very efficiently up a ladder

• 48:47Jonathan Fields?

  that you're no longer sure is yours if you were ever sure. The leaking kind, the kind of sneakier one, it feels stranger than that. It feels like pulling off the exact thing you set out to do and then standing there, holding it oddly hollow as if the wind arrived, kind of addressed to someone else and nobody forwarded it to you, or at least partially. So there they are, the three buckets, the three questions. Vitality, when did I last feel genuinely alive? Connection, who actually knows my real year? And contribution, does the work feel like mine? And what is it costing the rest? Not one of them is a goal.

• 49:32Jonathan Fields?

  All of them harder and truer than anything you're gonna find on a scorecard. So now, before I send you off with these three questions, I wanna spend a few minutes on something that I think is genuinely important, which is, why is this so hard for us? If the buckets are that simple and the questions are this clear, why do so many of us, very much including me, by the way, go years without really honestly looking? And I think the answer is worth understanding, because understanding it is what makes the looking possible. The first reason is the one that we've been circling, kinda like the loud bucket drowns out the low one, right?

• 50:14Jonathan Fields?

  When, when one part of your life is urgent and full of deadlines, it takes up the entire foreground. And it's genuinely hard to notice things slowly going missing when something kind of enormous is standing right in front of it, every day waving its arms. The low bucket doesn't generally shout, the demanding one does. So, you know, you attend to the one that's shouting year after year, and the other just kinda keep emptying without everyone's raising their voices. And the second reason is that looking honestly, it actually costs you something. As long as you don't look at the low bucket, you don't have to do anything about it. The moment you say it out loud, like my health has been running on empty for eight months,

• 50:59Jonathan Fields?

  or no one really knows what this year has been like for me, you've now created an internal, an urgency, an obligation. Now you know. And knowing is the end of the comfortable version where you didn't. There's a real, if expensive, comfort in not looking. It's the same comfort as not opening the bill, or not returning to the gym to see sort of like how your body is feeling, or not having that critical conversation to see how connected or disconnected you are.

• 51:33Jonathan Fields?

  And the third reason, the deepest one, is that the bucket that's low is often low because of choices that we made, or more honestly, choices we didn't quite make. The making didn't fall out of my life, you know, the physical act of making, of creation of art, it didn't fall out of my life because I decided actively that it should fall out of my life. It fell out because a hundred small times, I let something that was seemingly more urgent win. I just never registered that any of those was an active decision. Nobody did that to me, and it's genuinely harder to look clearly at a problem when when some honest part of you suspects that you're the one who let it happen, or at least you're part of that.

• 52:16Jonathan Fields?

  We'd often rather not look at all than look and have to own all or some of it. And there's a fourth thing here underneath all of this, the one that took me longest maybe to see. The demanding bucket is usually the one your identity is built on. For me, the work wasn't just something I did, it was something I was. The capable one, the one who ships, the one who answers the midnight email with a plan and three attachments nobody asked for, sorry about that. And when your sense of who you are is wired closely to the work that's draining you, looking at what it's costing the rest doesn't feel like reviewing your life. It often feels like a threat to the self.

• 52:58Jonathan Fields?

  Because the question under the audit is, if I'm not the person who pours everything into this, then who am I? And kind of way too often, most of us would rather stay tired and certain than rested and unsure. Let me repeat that one more time. Way too often, most of us would rather stay tired and certain than rested and unsure. So we just don't look, not because we're lazy, but because looking asks us to loosen our grip.

• 53:33Jonathan Fields?

  On the one story about ourselves that we're most assured of. So if you've gone a long time without doing this kind of honest accounting, I want you to hear that it doesn't mean that you're avoidant, or asleep, or bad at life. It means you're human, just like me, and just like everybody else. We're just kind of figuring out and making it up every single day and showing up. And it means that the architecture of a busy, successful, full life is almost perfectly designed to keep us from noticing what has been costing underneath. Noticing isn't the default. Noticing is the achievement. Which is exactly why I'm not going to ask you to fix anything today. Fixing is next time. And actually, it's not even fixing.

• 54:16Jonathan Fields?

  It's just starting to pay attention and then taking simple actions. We'll get to that in the second part of this in just a few days. Today, the whole assignment is just to look, to pick up the better instrument, ask the three honest questions, and let yourself actually see the levels. Even if what you see is uncomfortable, especially if what you see is uncomfortable. The bucket you haven't been watching didn't empty because you failed. It emptied because you were busy succeeding somewhere you could see.

• 54:55Jonathan Fields?

  So here's where I want to leave you until next time. Just a couple of days from now when we get to part two. I want to leave you with one question, just one, and like always, I actually don't want you to rush to an answer. Let it kind of like sit with you, let it ride with you for a day or two. Let it find an answer instead of kind of forcing one out of yourself. Which bucket have you not been watching? Again, which bucket have you not been watching? Not the one that's easy to talk about, not the obvious one you've been meaning to get to, the one you'd happily journal about because admitting it costs you nothing. I'm talking about the one the rest of your life has been drawing down while you weren't

• 55:38Jonathan Fields?

  looking. The one you'd find if you put down the scorecard, stopped grading yourself against a January that no longer exists, and just looked honestly at the levels. Maybe it's connection, and the harder truth is that for all the people in your days, almost no one actually knows how your year has really gone to date. Maybe it's contribution, and the work that looks like a win on paper has actually been deeply draining you the whole time that you were quote winning. Maybe it's vitality, worn down not by a bad year, but by a good one that you chose with open eyes, but because a year can go right on the outside,

• 56:19Jonathan Fields?

  and it can also even be one that you choose all over again, and still cost you something on the inside that no scorecard was ever designed to catch. You don't need to fix it today or tonight. You don't need a plan yet. You don't even need to be certain that you've landed on the right one. All I'm asking is that we stop pretending that we know which bucket we're talking about, because I suspect if you stayed with me the whole time, that some part of you named it a while ago, and has just been waiting for permission to say it out loud. And here's something I want to free you from, because I had to learn it myself this year. Maybe relearn it, because it's a lesson I keep coming back to. Naming

• 57:02Jonathan Fields?

  the low bucket does not obligate you to overhaul your life today, or tonight, or this week, or even this month. Sometimes you'll look, see the cost clearly, and decide that for this season, for reasons that genuinely matter to you, the trade is actually worth it. That is allowed. That is real and an honest answer. It's not the same thing as not looking.

• 57:27Jonathan Fields?

  Drifting into a course with your eyes closed and choosing one with your eyes open, completely different experiences, and only one of them tends to end in regret. The whole game is the open eyes. So say it to yourself, just this is the one. This is the bucket that's been running low while I wasn't looking. That's the whole assignment for today. Naming it out loud or on paper, or just clearly enough in your own head that you can't unknow it. Cause if there's one thing this past year has taught me, the slow and expensive way is that you cannot refill a bucket you won't admit is low. The looking isn't separate from the fixing.

• 58:08Jonathan Fields?

  It's the first move of the fixing, or let's not even use the word fixing, right? Just the refilling. And it's the move that almost everyone skips, which is why so many resets and fresh starts fizzle by August. People jump straight to the plan and you cannot plan your way out of a problem that we've refused to see. So this time, we're not skipping it. This time, we look first. Now, in part two of this short and sweet summer reboot series, which is coming in just a few days, we do the other half. We take whatever you have named today and turn it into movement. Not a big, giant, complicated plan, something much smaller, more honest, and far more likely

• 58:52Jonathan Fields?

  to actually move the needle. I'll make the case that you don't actually need a plan for the second half of a year. You need a move, one real, small, repeatable move, and we'll make one together. We're going to figure it out together in real time before that episode is over. Name the bucket you haven't been watching, and then just for now, let that be enough. It's more than most people will ever do, and it's the thing the next step depends on. So. Be sure you're following Good Life Project wherever you get your podcasts so you don't miss that next episode. You'll get it in just a few days. And if this episode has awakened something in you, it'd mean the world to me if you take just a few seconds to share it with a friend who could use a gentle mid-year

• 59:36Jonathan Fields?

  reset too. Good Life Project is created by a wonderful team. Lindsay Fox and me, Jonathan Fields are executive producers. Troy Young joins in with editing and our theme music is from Christopher Carter. I'm Jonathan Fields and this is Good Life Project and I'll see you in just a few days where we'll turn insight into action.

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