Foley Moves In with Ian!

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Ian Fidance! You know Ian Fidance from stand up comedy, Bein' Ian with Jordan, The Joe Rogan Experience, Kill Tony, The Adam Friedland Show, First Date, Stavvy's World, Your Mom's House, Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, Harland Highway and so much more! Check out IAN DO: An Odd Guy Doing Odd Jobs! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Undrdog: Our listeners get up to 30% off their entire order at https://undrdog.com Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Attention, attention, the army of garbage. The boys are coming to a city near you for that army of garbage tour, baby. Round up the squad and come on out and see the boys.

• 0:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, this October, we're gonna be in Appleton, Wisconsin. We're gonna be in San Jose, California, San Diego, Atlanta, Georgia, Philly announcing soon. We have Springfield, Missouri, Fort Wayne, Indiana, Connecticut, Phoenix, Arizona, Baltimore, Maryland, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Chicago, Illinois, Cincinnati, Ohio, and Columbus, Ohio. We're announcing more cities as well, but all tickets are available at areyougarbage.com. Get them before they're gone. We love yous.

• 0:35Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:55H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's good to be classy. Or just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back at Tooties in the new addition. She's upstairs with a bowl of Fruit Loops. My co-host coming at me from right next to me. That's a steamroll. Don't give him a chance. Right next to me, he is the CEO of Are You Garbage, international businessman, my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up!

• 1:32Speaker 01

  Oh, boy. Catfight.

• 1:35H. Foley?

  For Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  What's up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks as always for tuning in. We appreciate you. Make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. The boys are climbing the friggin' charts. And obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. Check it the frick out, gang.

• 1:54H. Foley?

  Yes, sir. And also check out our brand new special. It'll be out September 13th. American garbage, right here on our YouTube page. If you're an audio listener, go over to the YouTube page, subscribe. We're gonna be doing a live stream for it. Live premiere?

• 2:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:07H. Foley?

  We're gonna all pull out all the bells and whistles. So get on that. Plus, the new Army of Garbage Tour, which is on sale now. Come see the boys. We're coming to the real nooks and crannies of the country. Salt of the earth, folks!

• 2:18Speaker 01

  The layover tour.

• 2:19H. Foley?

  None of the big cities!

• 2:22Speaker 01

  They wouldn't have us.

• 2:23H. Foley?

  Doing weekends, digging it out, gathering the army, gathering the militia. Come out and see us. Welcome to my world. Gathering the militia. What's that, Fats Domino? What are you talking about? Getting excited for the new July 4th, January 6th. Gang, we are...

• 2:41Speaker 01

  That's all the time we got.

• 2:43Speaker 03

  Do me this favor, once?

• 2:45H. Foley?

  Gang, we're lukewarm excited to have our...

• 2:48Speaker 01

  I was excited.

• 2:49H. Foley?

  Okay, guest, here with this today. He's been one of my rocks. One of my...

• 2:55Speaker 01

  Is that why you're sinking?

• 2:59H. Foley?

  He's been like stones in my pocket, ladies and gentlemen, in an above-ground pool.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  You just stand up.

• 3:07H. Foley?

  Six feet.

• 3:08Speaker 01

  Above-ground pools are six feet?

• 3:10H. Foley?

  Mine's seven feet. Yes, it is.

• 3:12Speaker 03

  And my joke wasn't as bad now.

• 3:15H. Foley?

  He's my landlord, although no monetary compensation has been established yet.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  I won't take it.

• 3:21H. Foley?

  There is an IOU.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  This is such a long con he's got going on. And dude, you've been hook, line, and sinker.

• 3:28H. Foley?

  We're having a great time. We're having a great time.

• 3:31Speaker 03

  I love you, roomie.

• 3:33H. Foley?

  Bought me a stiller soda last night. When's the last time you bought me a stiller soda?

• 3:36Speaker 03

  I know that's what you like.

• 3:37H. Foley?

  No serious comebacks.

• 3:40H. Foley?

  Our good pal from Bean Ian and other things.

• 3:44Speaker 03

  Ian Do, an odd guy doing odd jobs. [email protected]. Email me. Look at my tour schedule. If I'm coming to your town, get me working. Find me a job. Let's go. Continue with how good I am.

• 3:55H. Foley?

  The best guy ever.

• 3:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:57H. Foley?

  The best cat dad ever.

• 3:59Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 3:59H. Foley?

  Ian Fidance, ladies and gentlemen.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  Cousin Ian is here. Cousin Schmeen.

• 4:03Speaker 03

  Thank you for having me.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  An hour late.

• 4:05H. Foley?

  I like those glasses.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  Thank you. Which ones?

• 4:09H. Foley?

  Whoa, folks.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  Always in the slapstick is out.

• 4:12Speaker 03

  I am not wearing headphones because I just got my first earring at 41.

• 4:17H. Foley?

  You can't wear headphones?

• 4:18Speaker 03

  No, I don't want to.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, because then you're not gonna see it. And how are you gonna give them attention?

• 4:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't want to upset my ear. Because it's sensitive.

• 4:27H. Foley?

  I can't wear headphones. I've had my scrotum pierced.

• 4:31H. Foley?

  Ladies and gentlemen, Ian!

• 4:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:34H. Foley?

  I forgot what I was gonna say.

• 4:35Speaker 03

  I'm so excited to be here.

• 4:37H. Foley?

  It's great to see you, pal. I haven't seen you since this morning.

• 4:40Speaker 03

  The morning. And I come in, he's singing Nirvana, and I was listening to Nirvana on the way here.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  And I was about to shoot myself with a shotgun.

• 4:47H. Foley?

  We are on the same cycle.

• 4:50Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, have I loved it.

• 4:52H. Foley?

  We have our deli that we go to. I know what kind of Van Leeuwen ice cream Ian likes. It's honeycomb.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  Yep. And I know what stiller soda he likes. Lime. I bring it to him. And I went to a deli the other night.

• 5:04H. Foley?

  That is completely wrong. I like the Shirley Temple. First of all, I don't like stillers at all. It's kind of whack.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  I didn't really like that one.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  They're falling apart at the seams already. And I'm here for it.

• 5:14H. Foley?

  It's not about that. It's about the gesture. He thinks of me, I think of him. I gave him some L-theanine. Did you try that?

• 5:21Speaker 03

  I did, and I have another bottle ordered because we're running low.

• 5:24H. Foley?

  Chewables?

• 5:25Speaker 03

  Chewables. I know you have a problem with pills.

• 5:29H. Foley?

  Did the Chewy box get there?

• 5:30Speaker 03

  The Chewy box has arrived.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  Little couple of greenies and a new chew toy for the big man.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  If my factor arrives, please let it in.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  That's promo code garbage.

• 5:39Speaker 03

  Promo code to Ian Do Show.

• 5:41H. Foley?

  Or either one, whichever you want to do.

• 5:42Speaker 03

  Either or.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  What the fuck?

• 5:46H. Foley?

  We have been talking about expanding the network.

• 5:51Speaker 03

  I have...

• 5:53Speaker 01

  I literally walked in, I was gonna be one of my, before I walked in, I was gonna be one of my favorite episodes, and I'm gonna fucking hate both of them by the end of it. And I'm here for it. Let's go.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  Dude, it is, it's great.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  Are you guys like pitching shows? What's it like? Two phenoms of the industry, of the comedy industry, moving in together?

• 6:11H. Foley?

  I try to tread lightly. He's very welcoming, very sweet. Not the best sleeper, which he woke me up today, which we had a tough morning.

• 6:24Speaker 03

  We did, yeah. Today was a tough one, but we were there for each other. Yeah, there have been some issues with sleep. Foley, do you want to take it away?

• 6:34H. Foley?

  Ian's a little high-strung. Doesn't sleep great. Sleeps on his back.

• 6:39Speaker 03

  Even in my sleep, I am going.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  I mean, these two are fucking...

• 6:45H. Foley?

  I thought he was in the room. He sleeps with the door open. I thought he was in the room.

• 6:48Speaker 03

  Sometime, I can't, okay, I can't sleep through the night. This has been a summer from hell. I had gout, and then I had kidney stones. I was in and out of the hospital. I had kidney stone surgery. I'm fine now.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  What's kidney stone surgery? Do they go in and get them?

• 7:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, I had to go under. They had to go through my urethra. I had a stent in my ureter, my bladder, my kidney.

• 7:10H. Foley?

  I feel like with those two sisters on fucking...

• 7:13Speaker 01

  Thousand Pound Sisters?

• 7:14H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  I like my Sadis.

• 7:17H. Foley?

  We're gonna be like Grey Gardens in there.

• 7:19Speaker 03

  I'm doing fine in my life.

• 7:21Speaker 01

  Foley starts dating a black guy.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  I'm jealous.

• 7:24H. Foley?

  Wait, why?

• 7:26Speaker 03

  Just roll with it, Toots.

• 7:27H. Foley?

  I didn't watch the show.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 7:29H. Foley?

  Is that what happens? I thought one of them was seeing that doctor, the Indian guy.

• 7:33Speaker 01

  Did you leave your funny bone at the house?

• 7:37Speaker 03

  Instacart your funny bone?

• 7:39H. Foley?

  Are those family glasses?

• 7:40Speaker 03

  I stole them from a guy who I had to kick out of a show.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  As a blind guy?

• 7:44H. Foley?

  Very nice. Because I have a pair of ours in my bag.

• 7:48Speaker 03

  I'm looking at a pair of ours right now.

• 7:50Speaker 01

  Is that his tits?

• 7:54H. Foley?

  Ian's on the board.

• 7:55Speaker 03

  No, I had to kick a guy out for being anti-Semitic, and I took his sunglasses.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  What did he say?

• 8:01Speaker 03

  Like, we don't got to get into it. The clip will come out. I animal sex.

• 8:04H. Foley?

  It wasn't Go Jews, I'll tell you that.

• 8:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't, I'm a fan.

• 8:08Speaker 01

  He's saving it for his own Instagram reveal.

• 8:11Speaker 03

  You gotta do what you can.

• 8:12Speaker 01

  And drum up the business here.

• 8:13Speaker 03

  You know how in a gang, you steal their biker jacket or their colors off of their back? You steal their patch. I stole a sunglasses.

• 8:20H. Foley?

  You've never been in a biker gang?

• 8:22Speaker 03

  I've wanted to.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  I have a bicycle.

• 8:26Speaker 03

  I would love to join a bicycle gang. Dude, when I was going to AA in Delaware, living in a halfway house, my home group was a men's meeting called...

• 8:33Speaker 01

  Word by word.

• 8:35Speaker 03

  It gets sadder.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  I thought it was bad when I was in Delaware. I said, oof.

• 8:38Speaker 03

  My home group was a men's meeting called Ventilators, and it was a bikers' meeting. And I went there because they were rough and tumble, and they'd tell it like it is. And so I would park my bicycle that I had to ride, because I got my license taken away, next to all their bikes. And it was like, you know, they'd wait for me, and when I'd pull in, they'd go vroom, vroom, vroom.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  You do that thing where you knock them all over in a line?

• 8:59Speaker 03

  What? I'm sorry. No, it was like Peewee. They embraced me.

• 9:03H. Foley?

  He can be very sweet in public or very assertive. I'll say that. I don't want to say aggressive or crazy.

• 9:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:09H. Foley?

  Because I don't want to...

• 9:10Speaker 01

  I'll do it.

• 9:11H. Foley?

  I gotta go home with this guy.

• 9:12Speaker 03

  No, I, you know, you gotta put your foot down sometimes. You gotta stand up for yourself. You know, it's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I'm a cat. What are you gonna do?

• 9:22H. Foley?

  Cat mom.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  Cat mom.

• 9:24H. Foley?

  You know Glenn?

• 9:26Speaker 03

  I've heard of Glenn.

• 9:27H. Foley?

  Dude, Foley and Glenn are best friends. No, we were.

• 9:31Speaker 03

  What happened?

• 9:31H. Foley?

  I stepped on him. And he's fucking like, real fucking...

• 9:36Speaker 01

  Pissed about it.

• 9:38H. Foley?

  He's like...

• 9:39Speaker 03

  I mean, he's got a thousand-pound sister stepping on his tail. What do you expect? That thing's gonna have some resentment? Jesus Christ, Henry.

• 9:46H. Foley?

  Oh, okay, first of all, you gotta, okay, so last week when I was there, all right, when I got there, he comes downstairs, he whines at the door. If Ian's out, no.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  Me, me! Have me back home!

• 10:03H. Foley?

  Henry.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  When he, when he, when.

• 10:05H. Foley?

  To my bud, Henry. Oh my god, I just realized something.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  What?

• 10:10H. Foley?

  Oh, I was calling you daddy.

• 10:11Speaker 01

  What?

• 10:12H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  What the freak is going on down here?

• 10:14H. Foley?

  When you were gone, what daddy's not here?

• 10:17Speaker 01

  Oh daddy, daddy gonna come home and yell at us?

• 10:19H. Foley?

  Uncle, Uncle Hank and Aunt Ian.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:22H. Foley?

  No.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  What?

• 10:25H. Foley?

  Huh?

• 10:25Speaker 01

  You guys are in love with each other.

• 10:27Speaker 03

  It's nice to have someone in the house.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  Listen, I've been on, on record on the Patreon.

• 10:34H. Foley?

  Because I get where he's coming from.

• 10:36Speaker 03

  It's, well dude, I haven't had a roommate in forever and I always had people, years and years ago, I lived with friends and then they moved out and then I would sublet my place out to strangers on Craigslist and it was very like, don't talk to me. Whatever, I was making money, I was, you know.

• 10:52Speaker 01

  It was good cold hard cage.

• 10:54Speaker 03

  And, you know, I've, I've lived alone for a while and it's funny because if I, if I live with a woman, I'm like, nah, leave me alone. And now I'm like, is Henry in the living room?

• 11:03H. Foley?

  I said to the cat, I said daddy, daddy, come on, get upstairs, daddy's coming, I'm gonna tell your dad.

• 11:08Speaker 03

  Yeah. And now he's mad at you.

• 11:11H. Foley?

  He's mad at me.

• 11:12Speaker 01

  Is he a fucking rat?

• 11:13H. Foley?

  No, he was fucking downstairs, he's downstairs. Ian has strict rules, he doesn't want the cat wandering around the studio and he wants the bathroom door closed because the cat can get, I don't really know why.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  He hides behind the shower curtain and then he can get locked.

• 11:25Speaker 01

  I could do this all day. You two idiots and two cats? Guys, these are lobbops.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  I see his tail coming out.

• 11:32H. Foley?

  Foley, yeah, yeah. So he was doing that for a while, so after I cleaned the room out.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  What daddy say?

• 11:41H. Foley?

  So after I cleaned the room out. He, you know, he.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  Daddy made you clean your room?

• 11:46H. Foley?

  No, I cleaned it out myself.

• 11:47Speaker 01

  Because daddy wanted daddy to clean it. You don't want daddy to get mad when it's your fault.

• 11:51H. Foley?

  He's not my fucking daddy, I'm a friend to his.

• 11:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:54H. Foley?

  Okay, I'm just being nice to the cat.

• 11:56Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:59Speaker 03

  Go ahead.

• 11:59H. Foley?

  After I cleaned up the room, did the sheets, all that kind of stuff, I let him come in there and hang out. And we hang out and we're boys and I go upstairs and when I'm going to bed, if he's away, he's crying. And I say, you gotta go upstairs, go to sleep, he goes upstairs, go to sleep. I come up in the morning, I give him Gucci Gucci's, all that kind of stuff, he's a good guy.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  He's been giving him greenies?

• 12:17H. Foley?

  I give him greenies.

• 12:18Speaker 03

  And, and Sampson was hiding.

• 12:20H. Foley?

  After I did my initial rooting, when I started feeling comfortable when he was on the road, I did my initial, my initial, uh, my initial search. My initial rooting through the, to the cabinets.

• 12:29Speaker 01

  Do you have a warrant for this or a sneak and peek?

• 12:31H. Foley?

  No, but, yeah.

• 12:32Speaker 03

  What?

• 12:33Speaker 01

  What? Give me, okay, give me, what? What, what cabinets, because I'm familiar with the apartment myself, what cabinets, I keep forgetting you have sunglasses on. What cabinets did you open? And what did you find? What were you looking for, do you think?

• 12:47Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, why was my bed made?

• 12:50H. Foley?

  I thought that was nice.

• 12:51Speaker 01

  You made his bed?

• 12:52Speaker 03

  He did, he did, but, but, but, okay, my.

• 12:55H. Foley?

  You don't get us.

• 12:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:57Speaker 01

  What?

• 12:57H. Foley?

  What? No.

• 12:59Speaker 03

  I bought him a fan, you know, it gets a little hot down there. Well, it's a thoughtful gesture.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 13:04H. Foley?

  He was coming home.

• 13:06Speaker 03

  It's nice to come home to a made bed. I left, you know, Eve left and she didn't make my bed. My stripper friend from San Jose, shout out Eve, go see her at the Pink Poodle. Um, she.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  Is that a comedy girl?

• 13:18H. Foley?

  She was a stripper?

• 13:19Speaker 01

  Well, she wasn't an accountant.

• 13:20Speaker 03

  She certainly wasn't a doctor. No, but she, she's actually a massage therapist, she's incredibly smart, uh, she's doing great and she came to visit. She comes and stays with me sometimes, just a friend. And, uh, you should see Foley's face asleep at the.

• 13:36H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'm down there, I'm down there fucking stretched out, getting ready to do my night nights. I got my mask on.

• 13:42Speaker 01

  What's going on?

• 13:43H. Foley?

  These two come downstairs, standing, he's got this, got this chick with him. In the doorway, I'm like, hey, I'm Henry.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  Foley's jaw hit the floor.

• 13:52H. Foley?

  My jaw hit the floor? I had my retainer in.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  Well, Eve stayed over and I left to, to go to, uh, Winnipeg and she didn't make my bed. Which I was like, hmm.

• 14:02H. Foley?

  Right. And you were coming back, I cleaned out the ashtray, I liked, listen.

• 14:07Speaker 03

  You did fill it with lollipops. I keep hard candy around my house now, I'm at that age and I have hard candy, maple candies, hard candy.

• 14:14H. Foley?

  We're both candy guys.

• 14:15Speaker 03

  We're candy guys.

• 14:16H. Foley?

  We're, yeah, we're in recovery, we're, we're candy guys.

• 14:18Speaker 03

  Candy guys.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  Um, I, but.

• 14:20H. Foley?

  Boom!

• 14:24Speaker 03

  So anyway, my cat.

• 14:25H. Foley?

  That's Ian banging me up.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  My cat Sampson.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  You guys are the fucking drug addict fucking Costco guys? We're hard candy, we're recovery guys. Boom, boom, boom.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  That's five free, big free relapses, boom, boom.

• 14:40Speaker 03

  We're in the rooms, room, room, room. Uh.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  You guys, hold on, stop talking, you guys fucking stink. I'm here for it and I love it.

• 14:52H. Foley?

  Double knock and relapse, boom, boom, boom!

• 14:56Speaker 01

  That's them shocking you?

• 14:58H. Foley?

  Chunk, chunk, double oxy, chunk. Bottle vodka, chunk. We were, we were in pre-production for a, um, a sleep paralysis demon.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  Character.

• 15:11H. Foley?

  Character of your friend who's in recovery, who's staying in your basement.

• 15:16Speaker 03

  Your friend who's life's falling apart, sleeper house.

• 15:19Speaker 01

  I'm sorry, I thought you guys were describing another guy sleeping in the basement.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  Well, wait, when Foley moves out.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  Is there a lower basement?

• 15:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, when Foley moves out, Dan Seidman is gonna move in.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  Uh-uh.

• 15:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm running a recovery house, it's crazy. Free of charge.

• 15:34H. Foley?

  He's in town for work, what are you talking about?

• 15:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's staying in town for work. So here's the thing, well, my one gripe is, my cat Sampson, there's a toy. And when cats.

• 15:43H. Foley?

  Oh, don't fucking do this.

• 15:44Speaker 03

  See, here you go.

• 15:45H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  Cats, cats.

• 15:46H. Foley?

  This is crazy.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  Cats love going out.

• 15:48H. Foley?

  This is why I'm tiptoeing around.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  Bringing you gifts, no, be yourself. Cats bring you gifts.

• 15:52H. Foley?

  I am being myself.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  And there's one toy that Sampson has that it's, it, he plays with and when he played with him, he puts it in his mouth and he trots it in my bed and leaves it on the bed as a gift. Foley, eh, eh.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  Gets jealous.

• 16:04H. Foley?

  This guy.

• 16:07H. Foley?

  I just, yeah, just.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  Back up!

• 16:08H. Foley?

  Sampson's fucked up.

• 16:09Speaker 03

  No, he's not.

• 16:10H. Foley?

  He's got real abandonment issues.

• 16:13Speaker 01

  Sampson was, you're all a little fucked up.

• 16:14Speaker 03

  Sampson.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  On the outside.

• 16:16H. Foley?

  He's stolen.

• 16:17Speaker 03

  Sampson was found in an engine block without a mother in my neighborhood. He was feral and I was the first human he ever warmed up to. See, that's why he doesn't like you, it's too much masculine energy. He likes sensitive energy, he gravitates towards women. And now that he's used to you, that's why he didn't like my cousin Sherry, because she's a bull dyke. So he didn't like that masculine energy. Now, it just takes a while, he's warming up, he's coming out.

• 16:40H. Foley?

  Cousin's a bull shark?

• 16:41Speaker 03

  Henry did.

• 16:43Speaker 01

  Hate to see what her mom looks like.

• 16:46Speaker 03

  Do you like dick?

• 16:47Speaker 01

  Nah, uh, nah.

• 16:51Speaker 03

  But he did, Henry did lose the toy.

• 16:54H. Foley?

  I didn't lose it.

• 16:55Speaker 03

  Sampson found it and he brought it out, so things are fine now. Sampson found it.

• 16:59H. Foley?

  Okay, no, Sampson fucking hid it and he knew, I was a fucking, first of all, let me tell, let me tell the good people out there. For the first week that I was there, I was pretty sure that he made this cat up. Because you didn't see this cat, it was just Glennie. Who, we're coming back around, I think Glennie just holds a grudge and.

• 17:18Speaker 03

  Well, you stepped on him, man.

• 17:19H. Foley?

  Yeah, because he's creeping, he's on the basement steps in the middle of the goddamn night, I'm coming out of the shower.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  You gotta, you gotta look out for.

• 17:27Speaker 01

  In the middle of the night?

• 17:28H. Foley?

  Huh?

• 17:28Speaker 01

  What are you doing down there?

• 17:30H. Foley?

  The middle of the night for him, 4:30.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  Well, Foley, Foley also has a penchant of really.

• 17:36H. Foley?

  Pension?

• 17:37Speaker 03

  In, in pension.

• 17:38H. Foley?

  I did not have a pension. That's why I'm in East Bay.

• 17:42Speaker 01

  If he, if, if there is one, can I get access to it? I'm a little, a little hard up for cash.

• 17:46H. Foley?

  What?

• 17:47Speaker 03

  He is a pension for, uh, you know, waking, being my alarm clock.

• 17:52Speaker 01

  What time do you, okay, hold on, a few questions, you guys are jumping all over the place a little bit. What time, regular day, Foley doesn't live there, what time are you waking up?

• 18:01Speaker 03

  Well, it depends on what I got to do for the day, I like to wake up around 10, get some stuff done and. What is that about, Luke? What is that a giggle?

• 18:08Speaker 01

  That's pretty late.

• 18:09Speaker 03

  Pretty late? I'm up all night doing spots, what do you want from me?

• 18:12H. Foley?

  He's a road dog.

• 18:13Speaker 03

  I'm a road dog.

• 18:14H. Foley?

  He puts food on the table.

• 18:15Speaker 03

  I'm on the road all weekend.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  I thought you were doing spots.

• 18:17Speaker 03

  I gotta take, I'm doing, I'm headlining on the road, I gotta take a day off to catch up and then I'm out doing sets.

• 18:22H. Foley?

  He's a comedian.

• 18:23Speaker 03

  On my, on my, on my, on my travel day, Sunday, I ended up working spots at night. Uh, my brain, the endorphins are running, I'm creative at night, I stay up late. And, uh, I, yeah, 10 a.m. is not late, okay?

• 18:36Speaker 01

  It ain't early, okay, that's all we're saying.

• 18:38Speaker 03

  Well.

• 18:38H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 18:39Speaker 03

  I can't sleep through the night sometimes.

• 18:41H. Foley?

  I have a day job, he works at night, that's why the relationship works.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  It works.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  This is like Dorming Greg.

• 18:49H. Foley?

  Kibby, you hear about this underdog?

• 18:51Speaker 01

  Underdog, underdog, underdog.

• 18:53H. Foley?

  Now, listen, Uncle Hank shedded a couple of pounds. I'm in the market for some new t-shirts, all that kind of stuff. I'm a little more health conscious these days. I don't like the polyesters and the microplastics and all that stuff. You go to Underdog, we're talking all natural fibers, baby. Do yourself a favor. They're blank tees. They got none of that polyester, none of that junk in there. All natural fibers.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  Yes, 51% hemp for durability. They got 31% bamboo for breathability and they got 18% organic cotton for comfort, baby. You can feel it in the textures and the fibers. There's a hu- obviously a huge movement to get away from plastics and synthetic fibers and stuff like that. The pla- the microplastics are getting in your brain.

• 19:35H. Foley?

  No good.

• 19:35Speaker 01

  Getting in your liver, getting in your ball- they're getting in your ball bag. They're taking over.

• 19:40H. Foley?

  You want to have a kid and it comes out a G.I. Joe? Do yourself a favor. Get over to Underdog.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, they were nice enough to send us over some tees. They're fan friggin-tastic. Uh, they fit, they fit great. They, they wear well and they're good for you or better for you. You know what I mean? Uh, more than 450,000 men have already switched. More than 40,000 men order these every single month. That's a lot of guys ordering a lot of t-shirts. The proof is in the pudding. They've sold out eight times. For a limited time only, our listeners are getting up to 30% off over at their website. That's U-N-D-R-D-O-G.com for up to 30% off. After your purchase, they're gonna ask you how you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them the boys sent you. That's Underdog, baby.

• 20:21H. Foley?

  Do it. Kevin, it's like about Chime.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  Chime.

• 20:25H. Foley?

  As you know, baby, life comes at you pretty quick.

• 20:28Speaker 01

  You ain't lying, big man.

• 20:29H. Foley?

  Things start adding up. You know what I'm saying? I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, if you're gonna do a little banking, make sure you save your money. Make sure you do it right. Watch out for bank fees, all that kind of stuff. I'll tell you what I really wish. I could go back and say, hey, I wish I had Chime.

• 20:44Speaker 01

  I know. Listen, if you're, if you're out there, this is where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's hard, listen, it's hard enough to keep a buck as it is. Then you got these big corporate banks coming after you.

• 20:57H. Foley?

  Overdraft fees.

• 20:58Speaker 01

  Overdraft fee, uh, monthly statement, not it. Oh, oh, five, five dollars for this, $10 for that. They got their hand in your pocket. Not with Chime. Chime offers the most rewarding fee-free banking, all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balances. You get 5% cash back on the Chime card in a category of your choice, like gas or groceries, all while building credit through regular, everyday spending. And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee-free. Look at that. I know I need that, dog. Uh, right now, you can join the millions that are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/garbage. That's chime.com/garbage. Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes.

• 21:39H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 21:40Speaker 04

  Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime Card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.

• 21:53H. Foley?

  But Ian sleeps with his door open.

• 21:55Speaker 03

  I sleep with my door open.

• 21:56Speaker 01

  I would do the same thing.

• 21:56Speaker 03

  And some, because the cat's going in and out.

• 21:59Speaker 01

  In, in, in his apartment, I would for sure, yeah, because in my head, that door's, that door's closed and that goes right to the street-ish.

• 22:09Speaker 03

  No, no, no. My, I'd sleep with my bedroom door open.

• 22:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know. I'm telling you.

• 22:15Speaker 03

  Oh, my front door.

• 22:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, like you're on the first floor of a apartment. Yes. Anybody, I don't want someone getting in and then I'm stuck in the bedroom.

• 22:21Speaker 03

  Well, that's why I got knives everywhere.

• 22:23Speaker 01

  Oh, you didn't explain that.

• 22:24H. Foley?

  It's like a medieval fucking.

• 22:26Speaker 01

  I do have knives.

• 22:27Speaker 03

  You should get a cat door for your door. Well.

• 22:29H. Foley?

  No, shut up. I like the heat. No, he leaves, he likes that. We're a family.

• 22:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:36H. Foley?

  As we, as I said last night on our way home.

• 22:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, our home. So, uh, I leave the door open. The cats come and go.

• 22:44Speaker 01

  You were just about to touch me and pulled back.

• 22:45Speaker 03

  I did, I did. I noticed. I saw your eyes. And, uh, you can't see mine, but I see yours.

• 22:50H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  I, uh.

• 22:52Speaker 01

  I don't want nobody making my bed.

• 22:53Speaker 03

  I can't sleep through the night sometimes, so I'm up and down peeing. You know, the kidneys, I haven't had a good night's sleep in forever. Finally, I'm sleeping, but I fall asleep on the couch sometimes, watching, uh, TV or I'll just go and rest my eyes and I, I just end up falling asleep.

• 23:08H. Foley?

  He falls asleep, first of all.

• 23:09Speaker 03

  I sleep like a vampire.

• 23:10Speaker 01

  What does sleeping in the room look like? What's up? Do you turn the lights off? Is the TV on?

• 23:14H. Foley?

  You can't tell if he's in the bed or not.

• 23:16Speaker 01

  Where are you? He's on the ceiling.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  Door.

• 23:18H. Foley?

  If he's.

• 23:19Speaker 03

  In the corner like hereditary.

• 23:22H. Foley?

  If he's, if he's, okay, if he's sleeping Dracula style, he's in the middle of the bed.

• 23:27Speaker 01

  I mean, you two are some freaks.

• 23:29H. Foley?

  He's in the middle of the bed like this.

• 23:31Speaker 03

  I, I sleep.

• 23:32Speaker 01

  But is there, is there a TV on or anything? You have noise? You're just, lights out?

• 23:36H. Foley?

  If he's in non-Dracula mode, he's so turned over on the side of the bed and his, his legs are so little, it just looks like the sheet. So you can't tell if he's in there. And then there's a suitcase and a blanket and pillows scrunched up on the couch. So if you come up the stairs and look over, he, he's not there. And then the bathroom door's always closed because we don't want, we don't want Glenn to get in there and get behind the shower curtain.

• 24:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've heard. Also, there's not a suitcase on my couch. The way my apartment is, there's space, uh, a lot, I have an L couch. There's space along there. So I have their cat tree.

• 24:14H. Foley?

  Lowercase L.

• 24:15Speaker 03

  And then my, my, it's a small apartment. And then the, uh, suitcase fits like perfectly there. And I like having stuff fit in like Tetris in my apartment. I'm not, I'm not dirty. I'm not a hoarder. There's clutter. I'm a collector of things. I have records. I have little toys.

• 24:31H. Foley?

  Oddities. It's like the Mudder Museum.

• 24:35Speaker 01

  You motherfucker, you.

• 24:36Speaker 03

  If, if I have my.

• 24:38H. Foley?

  What the fuck is, what the fuck is that? Why is that so bad?

• 24:43Speaker 03

  What happened? I missed it.

• 24:45H. Foley?

  He just went, motherfucker, you.

• 24:58H. Foley?

  This guy's been killing me all day. He's a real cut up, this Kevin James Ryan.

• 25:05H. Foley?

  Oh, Ian didn't like that.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  He didn't. He wasn't, he wasn't in on the fun. That's it. You're booted. You go, you go home, all your shit's in the street.

• 25:17Speaker 03

  Sleep happy and shit on the sidewalk. Me and Glenn are at the window.

• 25:23Speaker 01

  He's no longer friends with us, Glenn. He chose his friends and, and you pull the curtain shut. You fucking psychopath.

• 25:31Speaker 03

  Glenn sees me looking through the blind with my son Glenn.

• 25:34H. Foley?

  Glenn likes to go under the, under the curtain.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  Glenn, Glenn does sit at, on the window sill and I, I leave one of, one of the window open a little and there's, there's a screen and like.

• 25:43H. Foley?

  I feel like I should be blinking help into the camera.

• 25:45Speaker 03

  You like it.

• 25:46H. Foley?

  I love it.

• 25:47Speaker 03

  And, uh, when, when I come home, I'll whistle and Glenn will hop up and put his head on the thing and it's really nice.

• 25:52H. Foley?

  I love it, knowing at some point it's gonna go so south.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  Why?

• 25:56H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 25:57Speaker 03

  It's good because I'm not around a lot.

• 25:58H. Foley?

  That's why, that's why I'm treading lightly. And I'll be honest with you.

• 26:00Speaker 03

  Treading lightly, make yourself at home.

• 26:02H. Foley?

  Of course I make myself at home.

• 26:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:04H. Foley?

  Um, I was rooting through your cabinets.

• 26:05Speaker 01

  What, what is treading lightly to you? What would you do a little bit more?

• 26:08H. Foley?

  Here's the thing.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  Cause I know.

• 26:10H. Foley?

  As you said before, I, I have used up all my, uh, not credit, but all my.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  That's, I would say that.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  Who said this?

• 26:19Speaker 01

  I did.

• 26:20Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:21H. Foley?

  Well, I thought it, but go ahead.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  Just wanted to make sure I didn't verbal, I wasn't talking in my sleep again.

• 26:26H. Foley?

  I'm not in a position where I can have another situation, whether.

• 26:30Speaker 01

  A lot of pleasantries are no longer extended to you in certain circumstances.

• 26:34H. Foley?

  Pleasantries, yes.

• 26:35Speaker 03

  And living, and living at Sober House Finance is another way to restart.

• 26:40H. Foley?

  Right. But, um, I could be annoying. I can cross lines. I, I can, you know, be a lot. Um.

• 26:49Speaker 03

  My missed phone call log is large.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  With him.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:53H. Foley?

  And, um, that's outside that. That, that's industry business.

• 26:58Speaker 03

  What? Yeah. Well, he's like, I'm thinking for the next video we make. I do have a good idea for a video.

• 27:03H. Foley?

  Hold on, slow down, slow down, slow down.

• 27:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I have some ideas.

• 27:07H. Foley?

  OnlyFans. Um, God, I've lost my train of thought. Don't you hate when that happens to you?

• 27:12Speaker 03

  It's been happening to me all the time.

• 27:14H. Foley?

  I know.

• 27:14Speaker 03

  All the time.

• 27:15H. Foley?

  It's crazy.

• 27:16Speaker 03

  But if you just rethink your thought, you'll go back to it. I'll say, okay, I'll go back to the thing. He has woken me up and I have been very scared at times.

• 27:26H. Foley?

  He, he freaks the fuck out.

• 27:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, even when I got surgery.

• 27:29H. Foley?

  Huh, huh, huh, huh, yeah.

• 27:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:31H. Foley?

  Who are you?

• 27:32Speaker 03

  He woke me up. Who are you?

• 27:35Speaker 01

  Wait, you did that?

• 27:36H. Foley?

  No, what? No, no.

• 27:38Speaker 01

  I'm cool as ice.

• 27:41H. Foley?

  Hold on, get back to what we were saying. What the hell was I talking about?

• 27:45Speaker 01

  Why were you waking him up?

• 27:47H. Foley?

  Wait, no, before that.

• 27:48Speaker 01

  The pleasantries.

• 27:49H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 27:49Speaker 01

  Towing lightly.

• 27:50H. Foley?

  Okay, okay.

• 27:51Speaker 01

  Which I still yet to see or do.

• 27:52H. Foley?

  This is what would happen. Here's a.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  You couldn't tow lightly in ballet shoes.

• 27:55Speaker 03

  Why are you treading lightly?

• 27:56H. Foley?

  Here's a Venn diagram. Not a Venn diagram. Here's a, here's a drawing of it, okay? This'll be me.

• 28:01Speaker 03

  Hold on, I gotta put on my glasses.

• 28:02H. Foley?

  This'll be me.

• 28:03Speaker 01

  I'm killing it.

• 28:03H. Foley?

  Okay. And I'll be causing all kinds of trouble, okay? Outside of somebody's, uh, house or inside somebody's house. And then what'll happen is that person, okay, that's Ian.

• 28:17H. Foley?

  That's Glennie.

• 28:18Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 28:19H. Foley?

  He'll see Kevin, that's Kevin, big head Kevin. No hair.

• 28:26Speaker 03

  Give me a bigger.

• 28:26Speaker 01

  Just give me hair.

• 28:34H. Foley?

  And then he'll be like, dude, Foley's killing me. And everybody knows that, you know, for a long time I've been, uh, you know, Kevin's responsibility or, you know, he takes a lot of heat for, for my things and then.

• 28:49Speaker 01

  You're really painting you being a dickhead to be my fault.

• 28:51H. Foley?

  Then that, then that.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  And I respect it. I really respect it if I'm being honest.

• 28:56H. Foley?

  Come on Foley's being a lot and fucking Kevin will hear about it. He doesn't want to hear about it. And then he'll yell at me.

• 29:02Speaker 03

  But, but you're projecting, you're future tripping. That's not gonna happen because I will not do you dirty like that.

• 29:08H. Foley?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 29:10Speaker 01

  Hold on, no, go back to that.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  So what are you worried about?

• 29:12Speaker 01

  Am I complaining to Ian or is Ian complaining to me?

• 29:15H. Foley?

  Ian would be complaining to you, like Foley's driving me crazy.

• 29:17Speaker 03

  I don't fucking do that.

• 29:19H. Foley?

  No, you're not gonna because I am being.

• 29:21Speaker 03

  I'm not that guy.

• 29:22H. Foley?

  No, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop.

• 29:23Speaker 03

  And don't fucking play me out like I am, like shit sweet and it's not.

• 29:26H. Foley?

  It's our first fight. Sex later is gonna be awesome.

• 29:30Speaker 03

  Quit saying that because it, it'll make people think that and I don't want people to know.

• 29:33H. Foley?

  That is not what I'm saying.

• 29:35Speaker 01

  I like it better when no one knows.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  So what are you saying about treading lightly? You're making me sweat.

• 29:38H. Foley?

  I'm not treading lightly. I'm trying to be a good house guest because in the past I have been a fucking nightmare and I am all out of credit and I don't want to fuck.

• 29:47Speaker 03

  So you're making changes for the better and we can see progress.

• 29:50H. Foley?

  That's right.

• 29:50Speaker 03

  That's great.

• 29:51H. Foley?

  So that's why when I know Ian's coming home, my friend Ian, okay, when he's coming home from a long weekend, five sold out shows.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 29:58H. Foley?

  Up there in Canada.

• 29:59Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 30:00H. Foley?

  Okay. Kind of numbers you're doing.

• 30:04Speaker 03

  See me this weekend in Milwaukee, Madison, Wisconsin, Comedy on State, December 1st to 3rd.

• 30:09H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 30:10Speaker 03

  Philly, November 7th to 9th, helium, sell that out ahead of time. That would be very nice.

• 30:14H. Foley?

  By the way, um.

• 30:16Speaker 01

  This is going out as an Instagram video.

• 30:21Speaker 01

  They're, they're extending the content.

• 30:24H. Foley?

  I emptied, I emptied the ashtrays. I emptied the ashtrays. I lit a candle and yeah, he's got a sheet and a blanket on his bed. And so I fucking, yeah, I, I, you know, I go in there sometimes to play with the cat. Um.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  He made the bed. It was nice.

• 30:37H. Foley?

  I threw his sheet in the fucking pillow and I didn't think on it for him, okay?

• 30:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was nice.

• 30:40H. Foley?

  And you know, I, you look at, I, you know, I, I, I go to, I go to the deli, I grab my fucking, uh, ice cream. He wants to have an ice cream.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  It's nice.

• 30:48Speaker 01

  Oh, listen, no one's saying, buy, buy him a sweet treat on a hot, on a hot sunny day. I'm, no one's against that. I just think the.

• 30:55H. Foley?

  You're not doing nothing wrong.

• 30:55Speaker 01

  I think the making of the bed, I think is just, it just.

• 30:58H. Foley?

  Weird to you guys.

• 30:59Speaker 03

  He's eager to please. He's eager to please.

• 31:01H. Foley?

  Don't say that.

• 31:02Speaker 03

  And that's fine.

• 31:02Speaker 01

  And he's eager to get on his knees.

• 31:06H. Foley?

  I just, you know, I appreciate it.

• 31:08Speaker 01

  I know, but I'm just, I, listen, I've known you for 15 years, but we've been best buds.

• 31:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, me too.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  We've been roommates.

• 31:13H. Foley?

  If I came.

• 31:13Speaker 01

  You never made my fucking bed.

• 31:15H. Foley?

  If you came home from work one day, here, let me do a drawing.

• 31:18Speaker 03

  Do you want the drawings? You should see our fridge.

• 31:22H. Foley?

  Huh? Why?

• 31:23Speaker 03

  It's empty. I'm posting up your drawings.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  It's empty. He ate all the food.

• 31:26Speaker 03

  He does keep looking in the fridge like magically food will grow.

• 31:30H. Foley?

  Here's, here's Kevin.

• 31:31Speaker 01

  I'm Asian?

• 31:32H. Foley?

  Here's Kevin. No, you're angry. Here's Kevin when he, when he, when he was in Philly.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  The guy in Breakfast at Tiffany's.

• 31:40Speaker 01

  There he is.

• 31:40H. Foley?

  Here's Kevin when he, when he worked.

• 31:42Speaker 03

  Mickey Rooney?

• 31:42H. Foley?

  Oh, I'm sorry.

• 31:43Speaker 01

  Now draw you sleeping in my basement.

• 31:45H. Foley?

  Here's Kevin when he worked in Philly.

• 31:47Speaker 01

  On someone else's futon. Can you draw that?

• 31:49Speaker 03

  Did he, did he pass out on a kitchen table once?

• 31:52Speaker 01

  Oh, he, he used to sleep under a kitchen table.

• 31:55H. Foley?

  I slept under.

• 31:56Speaker 01

  Mike Svenneman's kitchen.

• 31:57H. Foley?

  Jordan Rabel. Jordan Rabel and Mike Svenneman's, uh, kitchen table in Bushwick. I slept under there on a, uh, air mattress for six months.

• 32:08Speaker 03

  And now you're sleeping in a bed.

• 32:10H. Foley?

  You with three mattresses.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  You went underground though. So you're on a bed.

• 32:13Speaker 03

  Uh-huh. Underground.

• 32:14Speaker 01

  Subterranean.

• 32:15H. Foley?

  Anyway.

• 32:15Speaker 01

  Bit of a lateral step.

• 32:16H. Foley?

  And the making of the bed was once.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 32:19Speaker 03

  It was a nice gesture.

• 32:20Speaker 01

  Defensive about it. We just said, whoa.

• 32:22H. Foley?

  You're both, you're both critic stars, our lifestyle.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  No, I'm a, I, the only thing that was upset about that was that it made Samson's toy go away, but he found it and things are fine.

• 32:32H. Foley?

  Samson hid the toy when you were gone.

• 32:35Speaker 01

  How do you know?

• 32:35H. Foley?

  Samson hid the toy before I knew Samson was real.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  Well, Samson's real and he's, and he's hanging out now and things are great.

• 32:41H. Foley?

  I'm trying to get Glenn back fucking.

• 32:43Speaker 03

  He'll, he'll be back. You gotta let him come to you. Cats are about acceptance, consent, understanding. You're not on your time. You're on cat time and that's a good timeline.

• 32:52H. Foley?

  Uh, last night was the first night in a few nights that I slept alone down there.

• 33:00Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:00H. Foley?

  Okay. Um, and the door moved a couple of days ago on its own downstairs. Okay?

• 33:10Speaker 03

  What?

• 33:11H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 33:12Speaker 01

  What are you talking about? Ian peeping Tom.

• 33:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's a ghost.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  I'm peeping Ian. That's my new show, Peeping Ian. Coming to a bedroom near you.

• 33:22Speaker 03

  It's haunted, huh?

• 33:23H. Foley?

  So.

• 33:24Speaker 01

  You got a sheet over your head. Boo. You're hard.

• 33:28Speaker 03

  He's got his dick out the hole.

• 33:30Speaker 01

  Boo. Blow me.

• 33:32H. Foley?

  So that's in the back of my head. I'm a scaredy cat and I had seen a, uh, Instagram video a couple of days ago that said, if you, if you get woken up at three o'clock in the morning, uh, like, like whatever, it's not, uh, anxiety. It's a signal and I know that's dumb. It just popped into my head and, and I, I fell asleep last night at like.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  How's the door moving?

• 33:54H. Foley?

  The door like.

• 33:55Speaker 03

  Which door? The door to your room or the door to the basement?

• 33:58H. Foley?

  If that door moved, I would freak the fuck out. That's a fucking heavy metal door.

• 34:01Speaker 03

  No, well, what?

• 34:04H. Foley?

  I don't know. It just moved a little bit. It would just.

• 34:06Speaker 03

  You sure?

• 34:08H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  Could be all the years of peyote.

• 34:11H. Foley?

  Could have been the wind. It could have been whatever or.

• 34:13Speaker 03

  The wind. You're in a.

• 34:14Speaker 01

  You're under the ground. The fuck, that's a heavy gust.

• 34:18Speaker 03

  I told you not to open that window. Oh, you know why it moved? You got the fan running.

• 34:23H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 34:23Speaker 03

  And it probably, you know, because guess what?

• 34:26Speaker 01

  Wind turbine? What are you talking?

• 34:27Speaker 03

  Every time you shut the main basement door, it sucks air out of the room, dude.

• 34:32H. Foley?

  You're getting caught up in the wrong details of the story. The point is.

• 34:35Speaker 01

  What kind of fan is it? A Vornado?

• 34:37Speaker 03

  I don't know. I went to the store. I got it for him and I just ordered another. So he has options.

• 34:42H. Foley?

  What am I, Jabba the Hutt? How many fans do you think I need?

• 34:45Speaker 03

  Yar.

• 34:45H. Foley?

  No, I'm not. And it's quite cool down there with the fan. Really?

• 34:50Speaker 03

  I mean, if he was, at least he'd be walking.

• 34:52H. Foley?

  I thought, I always saw myself as a, either.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  Lando Calrissian.

• 34:56H. Foley?

  Sheen.

• 34:59Speaker 03

  Love Lando.

• 35:00H. Foley?

  Um.

• 35:01Speaker 03

  Dude, my buddy, he used to tell his wife, cause she was a big, you would call her, you would call her Blando Calrissian.

• 35:10H. Foley?

  Who's this? Who was it?

• 35:12Speaker 03

  My scumbag lifelong friend.

• 35:14H. Foley?

  Oh, thought it was an old, thought it was an old roommate. I was gonna say, sounds like a loser. Anyway. Whatever. It was in my head.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 35:21H. Foley?

  The scaries got in my head.

• 35:22Speaker 03

  So you couldn't sleep?

• 35:23H. Foley?

  It wasn't that. It's just, I had this thing, I had this thing last night where I kept falling asleep for like, I went to, I fell asleep at like two o'clock and I would fall asleep for like 45 minutes and I would have this nightmare that I was in.

• 35:36Speaker 01

  Against basement?

• 35:37Speaker 03

  Kind of.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  In your life?

• 35:39H. Foley?

  Kind of.

• 35:40Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 35:41H. Foley?

  I was in a ba, I was in like a basement apartment and I woke up and somebody was trying to come through the window and, uh.

• 35:47Speaker 01

  I'm locked out. It's Ian.

• 35:49H. Foley?

  And somebody, somebody was holding me down.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  Samson stole my keys.

• 35:51H. Foley?

  Hey, hey, trauma here.

• 35:54Speaker 01

  Tell us a bad dream. Shut up.

• 35:55H. Foley?

  Having that every time I fell asleep. So it freaked me out. And then I had another reoccurring dream, three times in a row, a U stream last night from like four to whatever. And I, I just, I woke up and fucking Ian was standing there going, come on, it's, it's 10, 10 and 9.

• 36:11Speaker 03

  We, we go to meetings in the morning sometimes, which is nice. And then, uh, so we were gonna meet at 8:30 in the living room and then go to our morning meeting and I went out, I got coffee, I got breakfast.

• 36:21Speaker 01

  You gotta say meet in the living room, like there's, you're gonna get lost in the apartment and not bump into each other?

• 36:26Speaker 03

  It's nice to have a spot to meet, you know, start the day.

• 36:28H. Foley?

  Common area.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  It's not like, hey, we're gonna meet by the, the south exit so we don't get lost, right? Also, what time does the nurse come to give you guys your pills every morning?

• 36:39H. Foley?

  There's a lot of traffic in there in the morning between Glenn, Samson and Ian and I'm going the other way.

• 36:44Speaker 01

  And there's strippers coming and going.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  I go down and, uh, I go out, I get coffee, breakfast and I, I go down. I'm like, hey, wake up. And he's like sleep apnea it out. And I'm like.

• 36:55H. Foley?

  I'm whacked out.

• 36:56Speaker 03

  He is like, ah, ah, ah.

• 36:58Speaker 01

  Comes to like inception?

• 36:59Speaker 03

  He's pulling at me. That's how I wake up.

• 37:01H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  And then, uh, and then I'm like, all right. And he's like, don't look at me. I was like, oh my God.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  Hide my chode.

• 37:07Speaker 03

  But I'll tell you, there's something in the air because I took a nap and I had a horrific dream about you.

• 37:14H. Foley?

  Did something happen to me?

• 37:15Speaker 03

  Yeah. Swear to God.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  What happened?

• 37:18H. Foley?

  Today?

• 37:18Speaker 03

  Today.

• 37:19H. Foley?

  Fuck man, tell me.

• 37:20Speaker 03

  I had a, I wrote it down.

• 37:22Speaker 01

  Didn't it come true?

• 37:22Speaker 03

  No, I wrote it down.

• 37:24H. Foley?

  Oh my God.

• 37:25Speaker 03

  You and, there's something in the air. I don't know what it, I think it's a shedding of a skin. I got my tarot read when I was in Winnipeg. I pulled the emperor, which is good. I, she said, what do you want out of the tarot? I said, I don't know. I just want to pull the emperor. She goes, why? I go, cause I pulled it one time and I had a great year. And guess what? Randomly I pulled the fucking emperor. There's, it's new beginnings. Dolly died yesterday, so maybe there's something going on.

• 37:49H. Foley?

  Tell me what was in the dream.

• 37:50Speaker 03

  Okay. You and I were on a job in like a fire truck and we got a call.

• 37:54H. Foley?

  This is hot. We're firing?

• 37:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it changes. So, uh, you put in the GPS to the job.

• 38:01H. Foley?

  I'm driving?

• 38:02Speaker 03

  You're driving. We're not in a fucking Waymo. So I put in the GPS.

• 38:07Speaker 01

  Foley couldn't Waymo.

• 38:11H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 38:12Speaker 03

  What the fuck?

• 38:14Speaker 01

  Ian, no!

• 38:21H. Foley?

  You broke the chair?

• 38:23Speaker 03

  No, stop broken. Yes, it's residual fat. Oh my God. Then dude, there's something going on. Where would you go? He couldn't Waymo. My chair breaks. What is happening? This is crazy. Can I please have a cigarette?

• 38:37H. Foley?

  No.

• 38:37Speaker 03

  Oh my God. Jesus, that was wild.

• 38:42Speaker 01

  I gotta be honest, I think that Waymo was the greatest joke I've ever. And Ian couldn't take it. So he squirts his ass out and it broke the chair. I thought it was a great joke.

• 38:51Speaker 03

  No, man, it was great. I want Waymo jokes.

• 38:55H. Foley?

  Not a bad tag or whatever you call it.

• 38:58Speaker 03

  Um, so you and I.

• 39:00H. Foley?

  All right. So we're firemen.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  Hold on, that's I'll take a second. That was crazy.

• 39:05Speaker 03

  That felt like it was in slow motion.

• 39:06H. Foley?

  That was crazy to you and Luke, not for our apartment.

• 39:10H. Foley?

  That was a Wednesday.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  That was run of the mill hijinks.

• 39:13Speaker 03

  Can you just tell the people, because people have this idea about me, the place is, is, it's not.

• 39:19H. Foley?

  What are you worried about? And I'm not trying to.

• 39:21Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no. I think people think that I live in squalor or I live in like trash.

• 39:25H. Foley?

  It's a fantastic, beautiful, comfortable. Let me tell you something right now. You want to know something? You ever want to take a shower in Brooklyn? Go to his place. The shower pressure, the heat, that, that, that much. Mike Cross is the only one that had a better shower.

• 39:41Speaker 03

  Rest in peace.

• 39:41H. Foley?

  Rest in peace, R I P.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  Oh my God, that's the emperor.

• 39:45H. Foley?

  What?

• 39:45Speaker 01

  What? It's the yellow king.

• 39:47Speaker 05

  Did you pull it in reverse?

• 39:49Speaker 03

  What? Did I what?

• 39:50Speaker 05

  Apparently, I don't know tarot cards, but there's an upright meaning and a reverse meaning.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  No, it was upright. I did not pull it in reverse. Um.

• 39:55Speaker 01

  What's the upright meaning? Sorry.

• 39:57Speaker 05

  Authority, taking charge and leading with confidence, structure.

• 40:00H. Foley?

  Hey, I'm fucking dying here. What, what's the deal?

• 40:03Speaker 05

  Stability and discipline.

• 40:06Speaker 01

  You lack discipline.

• 40:07H. Foley?

  Hey, we have a big fire alarm fire in a make out session downtown. Can you give us a second? Finish the goddamn thing.

• 40:13Speaker 03

  It's not all about you, Henry.

• 40:14H. Foley?

  Yes, it is. Who the fuck opens up? I had a bad dream about you and I wrote it down.

• 40:19Speaker 03

  Well, did you not see my accident just now?

• 40:24Speaker 01

  I gotta be honest with you. I don't know what's going on.

• 40:26Speaker 03

  That was crazy that the chair broke.

• 40:28H. Foley?

  I thought you just fell back.

• 40:30Speaker 03

  No, the fucking chair broke. What'd you say?

• 40:33Speaker 01

  Ian pulls a neck breaks out of his.

• 40:34H. Foley?

  And I will testify.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  This is going to cost you a lot. You guys, well, you've been planning this all week. This is like training day.

• 40:40Speaker 03

  Oh, dude.

• 40:40Speaker 01

  I'm Ethan Hawke.

• 40:41Speaker 03

  This is a slip and fall if you fucking ever seen one.

• 40:44Speaker 01

  Take me for everything I got.

• 40:46Speaker 03

  Ow.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  I look, I look, your name's been taken off of everything. You just fucking sue me.

• 40:52H. Foley?

  Kim, let's talk about Chime. Chime. As you know, baby, life comes at you pretty quick.

• 40:57Speaker 01

  You ain't lying, big man.

• 40:58H. Foley?

  Things start adding up.

• 40:59Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 40:59H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying? I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, if you're gonna do a little banking, make sure you save your money, make sure you do it right, watch out for bank fees, all that kind of stuff. I'll tell you what I really wish. I could go back and say, hey, I wish I had Chime.

• 41:14Speaker 01

  I know. Listen, if, if you're out there, this is where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's hard. Listen, it's hard enough to keep a buck as it is. Then you got these big corporate banks coming after you.

• 41:26H. Foley?

  Overdraft fees.

• 41:28Speaker 01

  Overdraft fee, uh, monthly statement, not it. Oh, oh, five, five dollars for this, $10 for that. They got their hand in your pocket. Not with Chime. Chime offers the most rewarding fee free banking, all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balances. You get 5% cash back on the Chime card in a category of your choice, like gas or groceries, all while building credit through regular everyday spending. And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee free. Look at that. I know I need that, dog. Uh, right now you can join the millions that are already banking fee free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/garbage. That's chime.com/garbage. Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes.

• 42:08H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 42:09Speaker 04

  Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.

• 42:21Speaker 06

  Want to know you're on the best path to the right car? At CarMax, the price you see is the price you pay. No negotiating, no last minute surprises. Every car is CarMax certified and backed by a 10 day money back guarantee, so you can buy with confidence. Want to shop from home? Go for it. You can come in when you're ready, take it for a spin and buy however works for you. No pressure, no haggling, just the right car, your way. Visit carmax.com for details. Want to drive? CarMax.

• 42:51Speaker 03

  Ah, the, the wood went in my kidney. Okay, so, uh, we are.

• 42:56Speaker 01

  Probably cleared out your stones. You owe me money.

• 42:58Speaker 03

  We are.

• 43:00H. Foley?

  What's the copay on that, eh?

• 43:01Speaker 03

  And, uh, we're in a fire truck. We're going to a job. We put in the GPS, but the truck does not take us to the job site. It takes us to a biker's house and you can't stop the truck. You almost run into the house.

• 43:15H. Foley?

  Oh my God.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  We stop and all these bikers come out and they're like, Henry, good to see you. And I'm like, what's this? And you're like, ah, I got into some, some shit with these guys. We said something on the podcast and they're pissed off about it. We'll take care of it. And they take you somewhere and then take me somewhere. And I'm like, what's going on? They're like, no, no, no, we're just gonna work it out with Henry. You hang out here. So then they take you.

• 43:36Speaker 01

  Did you dirty? Let's, fuck you. Let you separate you.

• 43:38Speaker 03

  Boat and they bring you on the boat on a stretcher and some like goblin vampire sea creature comes out and bites your neck and kills you. And I had to watch and then they took my phone and gave me a tracking device on my phone. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone what would happen. And I woke up in the dream and like right before I woke up, I was trying to fight them and smash the phone to try to like avenge and help.

• 44:02H. Foley?

  But he died.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  But I'm dead.

• 44:04H. Foley?

  Oh, you're done.

• 44:05Speaker 01

  Scary Jerry got you.

• 44:06H. Foley?

  Your weak brain let me die in the dream?

• 44:09Speaker 03

  Dude, they, they held me back and put me in a different room. I saw you die and they held me back and then they put me in another room.

• 44:15H. Foley?

  Were you fighting?

• 44:16Speaker 03

  This new phone.

• 44:17H. Foley?

  Were you fighting to get over there?

• 44:18Speaker 03

  It, it's.

• 44:19Speaker 01

  Not real. It doesn't sound like it.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  All right. Yeah, I'll be honest. I wasn't fighting in the dream. I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. I thought they'd kill me.

• 44:25H. Foley?

  You weren't Sean Penn?

• 44:26Speaker 03

  I.

• 44:27H. Foley?

  You weren't Sean Penn in Mystic River?

• 44:28Speaker 03

  I thought.

• 44:29H. Foley?

  Is that my Foley in there?

• 44:31Speaker 03

  I thought that if I, if I like played it, like get back and get revenge and infiltrate the system, then I could get them back. Because in that moment.

• 44:39H. Foley?

  They're greasy, dirty meth head bikers. What system?

• 44:41Speaker 03

  I'm in the fucking hornet's nest, man. I gotta get out. They put a tracking device on my phone. I can't, what do you want me to do?

• 44:48Speaker 01

  You two don't stand a chance.

• 44:51H. Foley?

  Let me tell you this.

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 44:52H. Foley?

  You don't gotta worry about me in the dream world.

• 44:54Speaker 03

  Well, worry about yourself then. You're going, I had this dream and that dream and the ghost came to visit me.

• 44:59H. Foley?

  Yeah, but I always fight and I win. I don't lose in my dreams. I have full control.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  Seems like it's a tie right now.

• 45:07H. Foley?

  I chased the guy. It was, I was being held back and fought. I'm very good in my dreams. So I died.

• 45:13Speaker 03

  You're done.

• 45:13H. Foley?

  What the fuck does that mean? Google, what if you die in somebody else's dream? Luke?

• 45:18Speaker 03

  And I'll tell you, I never have dreamed.

• 45:20H. Foley?

  Loser living in a basement.

• 45:22Speaker 01

  It's actually, if you look at it on paper, it's the best outcome.

• 45:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, I put you out of your misery.

• 45:27H. Foley?

  And you gotta, you gotta get, what, what, what?

• 45:29Speaker 03

  What?

• 45:30H. Foley?

  I thought it's on my face.

• 45:30Speaker 01

  I was scratching my face, you fucking freakazoid.

• 45:33H. Foley?

  They'd have to get me up those steps, the hook.

• 45:36Speaker 01

  From the basement. They'd probably have to excavate.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  I mean, they're gonna make a new.

• 45:41Speaker 01

  Bringing a, bringing a digger.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:44H. Foley?

  Well, no, one of those doors goes to the outside.

• 45:46Speaker 01

  You're gonna have to pull permits.

• 45:47H. Foley?

  No, I saved you that. You don't have to knock out the wall. You will have to pay for the funeral.

• 45:50Speaker 03

  I'll tell you this. I think.

• 45:52H. Foley?

  You're not gonna?

• 45:53Speaker 01

  Pay for your funeral?

• 45:54H. Foley?

  Yeah, right. There's no way.

• 45:55Speaker 03

  Clean them out for my slip and fall.

• 45:58Speaker 01

  He, he's just gonna embalm you, empty you out and then get inside of you and wear a Foley suit and show up and cash your checks. That's what he would do. You know how they do that with like social security? They, that's what he would do. He'd show up.

• 46:10H. Foley?

  Do that.

• 46:10Speaker 01

  He'd show up.

• 46:13Speaker 01

  Oh, you know who's great that he can find it?

• 46:16H. Foley?

  Buck Band in the building.

• 46:17Speaker 03

  Is that me?

• 46:18H. Foley?

  That's you.

• 46:19Speaker 03

  I just did that for him.

• 46:21H. Foley?

  This is my Foley.

• 46:23Speaker 01

  He already broke the chair. He's halfway there.

• 46:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm going method. Here.

• 46:29H. Foley?

  What's it mean, what's it mean when you die in somebody else's dream? Oh, I'm sorry.

• 46:33Speaker 03

  I'll tell you this.

• 46:35H. Foley?

  He didn't mind having a $45 language order.

• 46:38Speaker 03

  Hey.

• 46:38H. Foley?

  While we were out working.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  Jealous.

• 46:40H. Foley?

  Little bit.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  Hey, can I, can I make a prediction on the dream? I think this is a sign that skin is being shed. Uh, there's growth and in death, there's a new beginning. And I think that's kind of what's going on.

• 46:54H. Foley?

  Fuck that, man. I'm going to hell. I ain't doing.

• 46:56Speaker 05

  Spot on.

• 46:57H. Foley?

  Really?

• 46:57Speaker 05

  Usually symbolizes a major life transition, shifting dynamics in your relationship with that person or how you represent a specific trait or chapter in their subconscious mind.

• 47:07H. Foley?

  Wait, so it's about him, not about me? No, what's it mean to me?

• 47:10Speaker 05

  I think it's about both of you. It's transitional relationship.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  You're in a transitional phase.

• 47:15Speaker 03

  And if you continue, you're gonna look hot in a dress.

• 47:20Speaker 03

  Um, I will say the tarot card lady said that there's a new thing that is going to help me uh, get my happily ever after and things will come true. And I've been working so long and there's success. And I just need to hold on and keep working, but there's a blockage. And she goes, what's your relationship with your mother? And I said, listen whore. Change the subject. You fucking bitch. And then she pulled the emperor.

• 47:51Speaker 03

  So there's something in the air, man. It's good. It's good.

• 47:54H. Foley?

  Yeah, my demise.

• 47:55Speaker 03

  No, it's not all about you and how bad it is.

• 47:58H. Foley?

  Bikers and mermaids.

• 47:58Speaker 03

  You're a vampire. You're gonna live forever. Fucking chill.

• 48:01H. Foley?

  I would love that.

• 48:02Speaker 03

  Dude, think about how good our lives are, man.

• 48:04Speaker 01

  Watch everybody die. That's what you want.

• 48:06Speaker 03

  We're, we're getting up at the crack of dawn, going to meetings. At night we have debriefs. It's good. You need this.

• 48:11H. Foley?

  I had a rough, rough morning.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  You did.

• 48:13H. Foley?

  I need a, I need a big nap.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  You need a cigarette.

• 48:16H. Foley?

  No.

• 48:17Speaker 03

  Right now.

• 48:17Speaker 01

  You don't, but that how, how kind of.

• 48:22H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 48:24Speaker 03

  Hey, you're just staring daggers at me.

• 48:26H. Foley?

  If I, if I wasn't turned on before.

• 48:29Speaker 01

  Fucking.

• 48:31Speaker 03

  I got Luke.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  Well, I missed it.

• 48:33Speaker 03

  I go, you were staring daggers at me. I got daggers. Take my neck.

• 48:37H. Foley?

  What are you, in the Russian mob?

• 48:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:40H. Foley?

  No idea. Flemmy, what'd you have to say? Flemmy Ryan.

• 48:43Speaker 03

  Flemmy Kilmer, sir.

• 48:45Speaker 01

  I don't like this.

• 48:48H. Foley?

  Hey Flemmy.

• 48:48Speaker 03

  I'm motor get no head.

• 48:51H. Foley?

  What?

• 48:56H. Foley?

  Motor get no head.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  I forget what I was gonna say.

• 49:00H. Foley?

  Something mean.

• 49:01Speaker 01

  Probably. Have you seen the program?

• 49:04Speaker 03

  I will say, I think my place is a good respite from the daily grind.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  From what I heard, it's a bit of a spider bite as well.

• 49:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I'm looking at a fucking black widow over here. I think it is a good place for positivity, growth, new beginnings, setting a foundation, getting structure, waking up in the morning, going to meetings.

• 49:27H. Foley?

  Spores, moles, and funguses.

• 49:28Speaker 03

  I collect them all. Print is dead. Um, you go get a court order and I'll sue your ass for wrongful prosecution.

• 49:36Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 49:37Speaker 03

  It's Ghostbusters. Um, uh, I-

• 49:40H. Foley?

  Kevin.

• 49:40Speaker 03

  I do think, and it's good for me too, because I need structure. I gotta go, dude.

• 49:45Speaker 01

  Listen, I'm on, I'm on paper.

• 49:46Speaker 03

  Going back to meetings, I've been feeling amazing, dude. So you're helping me, I'm helping you. That's what it's about. And it's, it's a new beginning. It's a dawning of a new era. Shout out to Specials. It's a great song.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  I've, I've-

• 49:59H. Foley?

  It's not Lord of the Rings.

• 50:00Speaker 01

  I'm on record, I think it's great. I think he's, I don't want him to move out. That's what I say.

• 50:06Speaker 03

  Either do I.

• 50:07Speaker 01

  Everybody here says, this is the best version of him we've seen in a while. We think it's very good. We think it's-

• 50:12H. Foley?

  You were just trashing me, walking up the fucking street.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  About what?

• 50:17H. Foley?

  That's a good question, Ian. About what?

• 50:18Speaker 03

  What are you doing to my friend?

• 50:20H. Foley?

  Tell him. Tell me. Yeah. See how well you're doing. It's too on-

• 50:25Speaker 03

  Can you?

• 50:25H. Foley?

  Forehead.

• 50:26Speaker 01

  No, he slept, is it about this?

• 50:29H. Foley?

  No, I'm kidding.

• 50:30Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 50:30H. Foley?

  He's, I was late to Stavi's podcast. We recorded it a couple of weeks ago.

• 50:34Speaker 01

  Before you had moved in with Ian.

• 50:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:37H. Foley?

  Oh, that's right, it was.

• 50:38Speaker 01

  So you've been on time since you've been living with Ian?

• 50:40H. Foley?

  Very good.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, dickhead.

• 50:41H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. Can we get in there? Hey babe, what if I stay over one night a week? I'll bring the baby.

• 50:45Speaker 03

  I've got another room. I gotta clean it out. It's my dorm room. It kind of is a manifestation of my depression, but that's something we'll work on later.

• 50:52H. Foley?

  I thought that was house business. I don't know you're gonna be telling everybody about that. Sorry.

• 50:56Speaker 03

  My, my office.

• 50:58H. Foley?

  Which I offered to clean out. I'll clean out.

• 51:00Speaker 03

  I know, it's, we'll work on it. But I do think that this is, you are the best version of yourself, uh, now in a structure. I honestly, like, all jokes aside, it's really helping me.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  I didn't even hear you make a joke this whole show.

• 51:15Speaker 03

  Go- Uh-

• 51:17H. Foley?

  I don't like that.

• 51:18Speaker 03

  What's that? Slimy motor get no head.

• 51:22H. Foley?

  Hey, take it easy.

• 51:25Speaker 01

  What are you talking about?

• 51:26Speaker 03

  Uh, no, I, I think it's great. It's helping me. It's helping you. I think it's fantastic. I think you should stay longer.

• 51:33H. Foley?

  Enough of this fluffy stuff.

• 51:35Speaker 03

  Alright, fats domino, what the fuck you wanna talk about?

• 51:38H. Foley?

  Let's get into the hard stuff.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Fucking, okay, yeah, after you shower, take your hair out of the drain. I'll tell you that.

• 51:42H. Foley?

  That's not my hair.

• 51:43Speaker 01

  That's his pubes.

• 51:44H. Foley?

  Who has black curly hair?

• 51:45Speaker 03

  Who's got black hair? It's not curly.

• 51:47H. Foley?

  Mine's brown.

• 51:48Speaker 01

  But he, listen, he comes to the point where that, he lives there. It's not there this whole time. You move in and there's hair. He's gotta- He goes, it's clearly full.

• 51:56H. Foley?

  Let me ask you this. How many times have you gotten in that shower and that hair wasn't taken out of there?

• 52:00Speaker 03

  The hair ends up in my hand when I run my hand through it. It doesn't end up in the thing.

• 52:04Speaker 01

  No, he's saying, how many times have you gotten in the bath and there's been it in the shower? One, two, five?

• 52:08Speaker 03

  Couple.

• 52:09H. Foley?

  It'll never happen again, I promise you.

• 52:11Speaker 03

  Thank you. Just clean the fucking drain out after you shower.

• 52:13H. Foley?

  I do all the time. I've, I've cleaned the toilet. I've taken the trash out.

• 52:17Speaker 03

  That was nice. Yes, you're earning your keep.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  How do you feel about him using your bar of soap?

• 52:22H. Foley?

  I don't. I have, I have my own.

• 52:23Speaker 03

  You have that pink soap?

• 52:24H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 52:25Speaker 03

  I've been using it. Oh, okay, yeah.

• 52:27Speaker 01

  How do you feel about that? I don't think you like that.

• 52:30Speaker 03

  I haven't been using it.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  You like using other people's stuff. You don't like when they use yours.

• 52:33Speaker 03

  You know I have the loofah. Um-

• 52:35Speaker 01

  Have you touched that loofah?

• 52:37Speaker 03

  I have a loofah on a stick I use. Uh, yeah.

• 52:40Speaker 01

  You know, he's, he's been on record of taking that and using it on his grundle. Not that one specifically, but he likes that.

• 52:46H. Foley?

  No.

• 52:46Speaker 01

  He likes that.

• 52:47Speaker 03

  I'll beat the fuck out of you.

• 52:47Speaker 01

  He likes that with the- Okay, hey, let's go. Hey, make fun of me for my phlegm. Relax a little bit, will you?

• 52:55Speaker 01

  I'll do it again, okay? Everybody chill.

• 52:58H. Foley?

  I washed my feet with it once, but I didn't know it was yours.

• 53:01Speaker 03

  Who the fuck else was it?

• 53:03Speaker 01

  Samson.

• 53:03H. Foley?

  I'm kidding.

• 53:04Speaker 03

  Glenn's?

• 53:04H. Foley?

  No. I don't know why.

• 53:06Speaker 03

  But something happened where my beef tallow soap is, uh, has been gone.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  You gotta blame one of the cats for that.

• 53:12H. Foley?

  That's beef tallow soap?

• 53:14Speaker 01

  I was making eggs with it.

• 53:15H. Foley?

  I didn't realize.

• 53:16Speaker 03

  I was, I was-

• 53:17H. Foley?

  I wasn't sure what you used.

• 53:19Speaker 03

  Shout out my ex-baby girl from, uh, up in Vermont. She brought it to me special tallow soap. I was not using it because it was the one last remnant of our relationship and it's gone.

• 53:27H. Foley?

  It smelled great.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  Did you, did you empty, did you empty a container?

• 53:32H. Foley?

  Huh?

• 53:32Speaker 01

  You heard me. You empty, you used the last-

• 53:35H. Foley?

  It was a bar. It's a bar.

• 53:36Speaker 01

  And you did it till it disintegrated?

• 53:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, you know how when you use a bar of soap, it like, uh-

• 53:42Speaker 01

  To use the-

• 53:42H. Foley?

  There's fucking seven different soaps in there. I don't know what this kid, he's crazy.

• 53:46Speaker 01

  Well, was it yours?

• 53:48Speaker 03

  No, it wasn't yours to use.

• 53:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what I would say.

• 53:50Speaker 03

  And you got a lot of real estate to wear it down, so.

• 53:54H. Foley?

  Location, location, location.

• 53:56Speaker 01

  That's a very smart fat joke.

• 53:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, thank you. I'm a new guy with this earring. I'm telling you.

• 54:02Speaker 01

  I, listen.

• 54:02Speaker 03

  I really feel like it is, I'm like-

• 54:05Speaker 01

  Someone say you're the emperor.

• 54:05H. Foley?

  I owe you a nice bar of soap.

• 54:07Speaker 03

  The emperor's new-

• 54:07Speaker 01

  Your beef tallow.

• 54:08H. Foley?

  I owe you a nice bar of soap.

• 54:09Speaker 03

  You owe me the beef tallow, which you can only really, well, she could only get it in her town in Vermont. I've tried to order-

• 54:15H. Foley?

  Fucking Manhattan.

• 54:16Speaker 03

  Oh, I wish.

• 54:18H. Foley?

  Brooklyn. I get it over there.

• 54:19Speaker 03

  I don't think you can. I've looked for it on Amazon.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  See if you can get beef tallow soap.

• 54:24H. Foley?

  Come on. Luke in Manhattan? Oh, sorry, you have to Google something.

• 54:28Speaker 03

  Come on, Foley, you look for it. We'll call Babe Pig in the city. What?

• 54:32Speaker 01

  I liked it. No, no, no, I liked it.

• 54:36Speaker 03

  I really, honestly though, do you think, okay, so this relationship, we're joking, it's fun, it's working. Should we poison the well by turning it into content or should we just continue living our life normal?

• 54:49Speaker 01

  I think you should continue living your life normal.

• 54:51Speaker 03

  Yeah. I think maybe a fun video every once in a while, like that, that idea I have. So I had a video of me-

• 54:57Speaker 01

  I feel like you're pitching me for financing.

• 54:59H. Foley?

  I got this, I got this DM at four, did you see that I was on Instagram?

• 55:03Speaker 03

  Well, I saw, no, but I saw that you saw and you ignored it. But-

• 55:06Speaker 01

  It's kind of his MO.

• 55:07Speaker 03

  Uh, there's, so I took a video of me holding, holding, uh, spinning my cat around and then the next shot is-

• 55:14H. Foley?

  A 12-pound cat?

• 55:15Speaker 03

  The actual, uh, shot of him getting held like, ah, and I think it'd be funny to recreate that with Foley and him.

• 55:23H. Foley?

  He thinks I could hold him up like that.

• 55:25Speaker 03

  You can't?

• 55:26Speaker 01

  He's got hollow bones.

• 55:27H. Foley?

  Are you crazy? You're a grown man.

• 55:29Speaker 03

  We'll, we'll, we'll cheat it for the camera. We both work in Hollywood. Come on, tires.

• 55:35Speaker 01

  You guys live in Brooklyn.

• 55:37Speaker 03

  It's the new Hollywood.

• 55:38Speaker 01

  It's Hollywood.

• 55:39Speaker 03

  It's Hollywood.

• 55:41Speaker 01

  Uh, okay.

• 55:44H. Foley?

  Can we get back to the cabinet?

• 55:45Speaker 03

  Go for it.

• 55:46H. Foley?

  They're a little scary.

• 55:47Speaker 01

  Your cabinets.

• 55:49H. Foley?

  I just don't know what's what.

• 55:51Speaker 03

  Well, you gotta get used to it.

• 55:52H. Foley?

  I would like to, I'd like to clean out the fridge for you. Is that okay? Is there anything in there that you don't want me to throw out?

• 55:57Speaker 03

  No.

• 55:58H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 55:59Speaker 03

  No, you can-

• 55:59Speaker 01

  What's in there, do you think? You had a ball?

• 56:01H. Foley?

  There's some old fresh juices that have gone dark.

• 56:05Speaker 03

  Oh, my celery juice.

• 56:06H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 56:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:07Speaker 01

  I get that though, that's tough.

• 56:08H. Foley?

  Yeah, some fruit.

• 56:11Speaker 03

  I threw the fruit out the other night.

• 56:12H. Foley?

  Oh, you did?

• 56:13Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. Yeah. Cause I, instead, the ice cream's nice, but I'm trying to really work on my diet. So instead of ice, I treat myself every once in a while, but I do, uh, shut up, Luke. I, I do yogurt with a little bit of honey, fruit, and some granola.

• 56:26Speaker 01

  Just doesn't scratch the itch. I just feel like, I'd rather, I'd rather have nothing.

• 56:31Speaker 03

  But dude, once I start with the honey, it's like, uh, what do you know? I blink and the whole fucking pint's gone.

• 56:36H. Foley?

  I think that's, that, you just gotta do that and accept that.

• 56:40Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh, I'm, I'm like, if I'm like, I decide I'm getting, I did it two nights ago. I'm like, I'm getting it. I'm gonna fucking crush the pint. I'm throwing the lid out right away.

• 56:47H. Foley?

  I'm not, I'm not, I'm not fucking, I'm not fucking dropping dead someday, going to hell for eternity and fucking worrying about fucking, uh, that, that I crushed the whole thing of fucking Jerry Garcia. Fuck this.

• 57:00Speaker 03

  Like publicly, I'm like, funny, silly, ha-ha guy, but I very much have like a lot of meanness towards myself. And I'm very, very mean and I don't treat myself well. And any excuse to like shame or feel anger towards me, I use. So if I, if I do that with ice cream-

• 57:19Speaker 01

  Thank you for the share. Yeah, what the fuck? Somebody give me a cup of coffee and a heater. This is like a fucking bad aid. Boom, boom, boom!

• 57:29Speaker 03

  You think you can be vulnerable with your friends?

• 57:32H. Foley?

  I'll tell you this right now, and we both share the same thing. We're both, we're both-

• 57:35Speaker 01

  Underwear.

• 57:36H. Foley?

  No. We're both, we're, we're both addicts. We did that, you know, the, the, uh-

• 57:41Speaker 01

  Addict? I thought you lived in the basement. Guys, is this on? Can I move in, please?

• 57:46H. Foley?

  That's why he's the king of the slams.

• 57:50Speaker 03

  Rod.

• 57:52H. Foley?

  Um, yeah, 100%. I didn't, I didn't mean to cut you off.

• 57:54Speaker 03

  I was gonna make a fat joke, but I decided not to.

• 57:56H. Foley?

  Nice. Yeah, we're both like that.

• 58:01Speaker 01

  I'll probably check my files.

• 58:03Speaker 03

  You're king of the slams, he's king of the yams.

• 58:06Speaker 01

  But that's a healthy vegetable.

• 58:08H. Foley?

  King of the hams.

• 58:08Speaker 03

  King of the hams. I know. See, even in my little stinkerness, I'm trying to be nicer.

• 58:13H. Foley?

  Thanks, pal.

• 58:14Speaker 03

  But I'm a piece of shit.

• 58:16H. Foley?

  I'll tell you this about Ian. That basket comes around at the meetings.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  You donate, you're supposed to, you donate money at these things?

• 58:24H. Foley?

  Yeah, the group is self, self, self-funded.

• 58:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:28Speaker 01

  Now, what are you dropping there?

• 58:28H. Foley?

  We don't accept outside contributions.

• 58:31Speaker 01

  What are you dropping? I don't know. Like, what standard?

• 58:33Speaker 03

  It's anonymous.

• 58:34H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 58:35Speaker 01

  But people know. He knows. Well, Foley, what have you dropped in there?

• 58:40Speaker 03

  Church, like, it's like the heavy-

• 58:41H. Foley?

  Foley's a girl on a first date. Uh, I don't have, I don't, where's my wallet? My celebrity presence is, uh, his presence is a presence. All fucking moves around. Jesus Christ. That was today. You sat next to me like we're in a packed movie theater. I did drop my phone twice. I was having a rough morning. I also started crying. You didn't notice that?

• 59:03Speaker 03

  Really?

• 59:03H. Foley?

  I told you that.

• 59:04Speaker 01

  You are, I noticed it.

• 59:05Speaker 03

  That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:07H. Foley?

  And I cried the whole way in. I think it was that vape. I think there's estrogen in that.

• 59:11Speaker 03

  Bro, I'm telling you, you gotta stop vaping, man.

• 59:15Speaker 01

  Dude, we're trying to get him back on the heaters. That's where we're at.

• 59:17Speaker 03

  Vaping, dude?

• 59:19H. Foley?

  You wanna tell him?

• 59:22H. Foley?

  Come on, man.

• 59:26H. Foley?

  I gave my vapes. They throw this out for me.

• 59:28Speaker 03

  Good. Now start on these.

• 59:29H. Foley?

  No, I don't want to.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  Why?

• 59:30Speaker 01

  Dude, I swear to God, I told Ian I quit smoking. He went, what? Why?

• 59:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, why?

• 59:34H. Foley?

  Cause it gives me, I don't feel well when I do it and I get a headache and I don't want to smell like cigarettes.

• 59:40Speaker 03

  You don't smell, does my apartment smell? We smoke in there. Does it smell like cigarettes?

• 59:43H. Foley?

  A little bit, yeah.

• 59:44Speaker 03

  Fuck you.

• 59:44Speaker 01

  Have you smoked in his apartment?

• 59:46H. Foley?

  We had a cigarette the first night that I was there.

• 59:49Speaker 03

  Well, when I was shooting that one thing, I, I was down there ripping heaters.

• 59:53H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 59:53Speaker 03

  I know, I know. It's my space.

• 59:55H. Foley?

  Gotta make contact. You do your thing. You're not gonna hear a pipe.

• 59:58Speaker 03

  I have a new show coming out that is really gonna take the world by.

• 1:00:01H. Foley?

  Tore cancer.

• 1:00:03Speaker 03

  That's under wraps.

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  It's under wraps.

• 1:00:04H. Foley?

  He can't talk about it.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  Obviously.

• 1:00:07Speaker 03

  I'm very excited. Maybe that's a new thing the Tara witch told me about that will skyrocket me to the.

• 1:00:13H. Foley?

  I know. I know. It's, it's house stuff. Nothing personally against you.

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  No, that's, hey, listen, you guys do what you do in the house. That's, you know, I think that's great.

• 1:00:23Speaker 03

  But truly, okay, that, it did smell like cigarettes.

• 1:00:26H. Foley?

  I don't care.

• 1:00:27Speaker 03

  Does it smell like smoke when you walk in?

• 1:00:28H. Foley?

  No.

• 1:00:30Speaker 03

  Are you lying?

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  That's all the time we have.

• 1:00:33H. Foley?

  We are, we are two crazy people.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  You think?

• 1:00:36Speaker 03

  It's great. It's great. Dude, I honestly love it. I hated living with people. You're my friend. I enjoy it.

• 1:00:43H. Foley?

  Buddy, I appreciate you. I love you. You're the fucking man.

• 1:00:45Speaker 03

  Dude, we, we can put a fucking tent in the living room.

• 1:00:48H. Foley?

  We're coming over to do the pot at some point.

• 1:00:49Speaker 03

  Sleep like?

• 1:00:51H. Foley?

  To push the spesh.

• 1:00:51Speaker 03

  A sleepover.

• 1:00:53H. Foley?

  He's not gonna sleep there.

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I have a wife and kid that live in the city. I can't just say, hey, I'm gonna hang out with my two junky boom boom friends.

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  I got shit to do, guy. I'm not looking for roommates at 50. All right? Some of us locked in a little earlier.

• 1:01:08Speaker 03

  Junky boom boom.

• 1:01:14Speaker 01

  Would I love to fucking sit around, smoke cigarettes and play with the cats? Sure.

• 1:01:17Speaker 03

  Do it.

• 1:01:17H. Foley?

  You don't like cats. You're allergic.

• 1:01:19Speaker 03

  Dude.

• 1:01:19H. Foley?

  And that would stink if you were in there and you slept with your door open.

• 1:01:23Speaker 03

  Do you know how many?

• 1:01:23H. Foley?

  I'd be out of there in two hours.

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, please.

• 1:01:25H. Foley?

  Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.

• 1:01:28Speaker 03

  Do you know how many people come in that are allergic and they don't get allergic to Glenn or Samson?

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  Every fucking guy with a cat says this.

• 1:01:36H. Foley?

  That's cause Glenn is really a dog.

• 1:01:38Speaker 03

  He is a dog.

• 1:01:39Speaker 01

  Or doesn't exist.

• 1:01:39Speaker 03

  He is the closest, I don't even know if I exist. I don't even know if this is a fever dream and I died fucking 15 seconds ago.

• 1:01:47H. Foley?

  Were you bitten by a vampire mermaid too?

• 1:01:50Speaker 03

  No, I, I overdosed on computer dust during 2008. I never heard the same.

• 1:01:55H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 1:01:57Speaker 03

  I used to be addicted to the dust.

• 1:02:00H. Foley?

  One time I, one time did, I did dust and I thought I figured out the secrets of the universe and then I couldn't remember when I came out of it.

• 1:02:06Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, that's why you keep doing more of it.

• 1:02:07H. Foley?

  I was convinced.

• 1:02:08Speaker 03

  You gotta get the answer. Were you, were you doing math equations? Once you start doing math equations when you're, when you're high, that's when you're like, yo, it, my brain is slipping.

• 1:02:20Speaker 03

  Never done that?

• 1:02:20H. Foley?

  No. I don't do math.

• 1:02:23Speaker 01

  But pencil me in for the sleepover for sure.

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  Now wait. Glenn is a dog. He's the coolest.

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  Gotcha, I gotcha.

• 1:02:30Speaker 03

  Dude, he comes when you, when you whistle.

• 1:02:31Speaker 01

  So does Holy.

• 1:02:34H. Foley?

  Hi, boys.

• 1:02:40Speaker 01

  I mean, this has been great, this little, you know, roommate powwow we've had, but we, we do have to wrap it up.

• 1:02:45Speaker 03

  Let's get into the next segment.

• 1:02:47Speaker 01

  That's next month.

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  How are you guys getting home together? Well, I, I've been trying to get him on the city bike and he's, he's really reluctant.

• 1:02:55Speaker 01

  I get that.

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  Why?

• 1:02:57Speaker 01

  I mean, I get, I, you know, he's a, he's a bigger, older guy. He hasn't been on a bike. He's not the most active.

• 1:03:03Speaker 03

  You get the, you get the electric, but I'll ride on side of you to protect with the cars. It's dude, it's, it's a, you trick yourself into working out while you travel.

• 1:03:12H. Foley?

  No thanks. I'm not riding this. Listen. New York City.

• 1:03:17Speaker 03

  This guy's ubers all the time. I'm like, hey, let's walk to the meeting. 50 minutes. We're taking an Uber.

• 1:03:22H. Foley?

  This is Manhattan. Okay?

• 1:03:24Speaker 03

  But you're in Brooklyn, baby.

• 1:03:25H. Foley?

  I'm in Brooklyn.

• 1:03:26Speaker 03

  We're fucking Brooklyn street rats now.

• 1:03:28H. Foley?

  All you want in Brooklyn.

• 1:03:29Speaker 03

  No, I do it in Manhattan.

• 1:03:30H. Foley?

  Ride your bike all you want in Queens. You go up to the Bronx, you ride your bike. Okay?

• 1:03:34Speaker 01

  Who the fuck's doing that?

• 1:03:35H. Foley?

  Here's the thing. Here's the thing.

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  What do you want to look like? Swiss cheese?

• 1:03:38H. Foley?

  Here's the thing.

• 1:03:40Speaker 03

  Do you watch the news?

• 1:03:44Speaker 01

  Guys been writing together, eh?

• 1:03:47H. Foley?

  Here's the way I feel about this. This is a compromising thing. This is Manhattan. You wanna walk, walk. Otherwise, this is the modern day Rome. This is the fucking capital of the world.

• 1:03:59Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:04:00H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of the way with the bikes.

• 1:04:02Speaker 03

  No, fucking keep your head on the swivel. Pay attention where you're going. Actually, this is, this is one of the worst weeks for cyclists in the city. Multiple people have died. It's, it's, it's a problem. Nobody's paying attention anymore.

• 1:04:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, so why would we want him on a fucking bike?

• 1:04:18Speaker 01

  Ian's.

• 1:04:19Speaker 03

  Are you garbage? You're Kevin Ian.

• 1:04:21Speaker 01

  Ian's gonna start poisoning you.

• 1:04:22H. Foley?

  You trying to get me out of the way?

• 1:04:23Speaker 03

  I've been.

• 1:04:23Speaker 01

  We thought, we thought he was trying to get you out of the way. Or, yeah, he's gonna be poisoning you.

• 1:04:29Speaker 03

  Dude.

• 1:04:29Speaker 01

  Slowly.

• 1:04:30Speaker 03

  Are you kidding?

• 1:04:31H. Foley?

  My stomach has been burning.

• 1:04:32Speaker 01

  Putting antifreeze, he wants you to get back on the cigs cause he's gonna be dipping them in antifreeze.

• 1:04:35Speaker 03

  I've been putting antifreeze in your sleep.

• 1:04:37Speaker 01

  Coming out squeaky clean. Guys running a perfect temp. I haven't had a fever.

• 1:04:42H. Foley?

  Ian, what are you promoting? What do you have?

• 1:04:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, everybody strap in.

• 1:04:45Speaker 03

  IanFiDance.com for all my dates. Everybody come out, have a smoke, hear a joke. We're having a blast. I'm loving seeing all you guys out there. Uh, September 1st through 3rd, 3rd through 5th, Madison, Wisconsin, Comedy on State. And then, uh, Charlotte, North Carolina, September 17th, 19th, Dallas, Texas, October 1st to 3rd, Addison Improv. Let's sell that out. Philly, November 5th to 7th, and then, uh, I'm going all over. Just announced Cobb's Comedy Club, December 16th and Sacramento Punch Line, the 17th to 19th. And then I'm closing out the year, Pittsburgh Improv, uh, December 31st to January 2nd.

• 1:05:23H. Foley?

  He had a big audition yesterday too.

• 1:05:24Speaker 03

  Are coming up, yeah. That, I'm, oh, fingers crossed. That would be nice. Ian Do and Odd Guy doing odd jobs out with YMH every other Tuesday. YouTube.com slash IanFiDanceComedy. I'm having a blast. [email protected]. If you have a job out there, you need me to work with you, you have a lead, let me know. I don't like being alone. Uh, and iAnimal69 on Instagram, and you guys are the best. I love you coming out to shows. Thanks so much. I got a lot going on. What the fucking what for me? I've worked so hard for this. I'm not pumping the brakes. I'm fucking, I'm gonna skyrocket in the car. You're either in the passenger seat or I'm gonna drop you on the side of the road. Are you coming with me?

• 1:06:01Speaker 01

  Hey, can you pay for that?

• 1:06:02H. Foley?

  My best pal, Ian FiDance, everybody.

• 1:06:04Speaker 03

  I got a lot of EZ pass bills.

• 1:06:06Speaker 01

  Does anybody have a gas card on them?

• 1:06:09H. Foley?

  Gang, our brand new special American garbage will be on our YouTube page, September 13th. Please check it out.

• 1:06:15Speaker 01

  And we have a tour that we gotta plug. We're in Appleton, Wisconsin, San.

• 1:06:17H. Foley?

  Army of Garbage Tour.

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  Uh, the Army of Garbage Tour, it's starting up in October. We got Appleton, Wisconsin, uh, San Jose, San Diego, Atlanta, uh, Springfield, Missouri, Fort Wayne. Uh, we got Connecticut, we got Phoenix, Arizona, we got Chicago over there to, to Chicago Improv. We got the, Ian's looking at the days. We got Cincinnati, we got Columbus, and we got Providence. I'm not sure if Providence is on sale right, right now, but it will be, uh.

• 1:06:40Speaker 03

  Fucked up to April 27th.

• 1:06:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, he done.

• 1:06:43Speaker 03

  Hell yeah, dog.

• 1:06:43H. Foley?

  Ian, we love you.

• 1:06:44Speaker 03

  I love you. I love you guys.

• 1:06:46H. Foley?

  We love this crazy little world we've built over here in Antutti's.

• 1:06:49Speaker 03

  Love being a part of the family. Thank you.

• 1:06:50H. Foley?

  Kippy?

• 1:06:52Speaker 01

  I love you guys.

• 1:06:52H. Foley?

  Love you, pal. Gang, we love you and we'll see you in three days.

• 1:06:55Speaker 03

  Peace. Adopt, don't shop. Cats.

• 1:06:59Speaker 01

  Somebody adopt me.