A Recipe for Survival

Coffee is the love language for two Gaza journalists Shrouq and Roshdi. But one morning at breakfast, their little family life is torn apart. Now, Shrouq must navigate a war, motherhood and the disappearing memories of love. And -- the story of a 10-year-old girl with a magnetic smile who makes magic out of breadcrumbs on a rooftop in Gaza and the internet is eating it up. STORIES After Roshdi Coffee is the love language for two Gaza journalists Shrouq and Roshdi. But one morning at breakfast, their little family life is torn apart. Now, Shrouq must navigate a war, motherhood and the disappearing memories of love. Thank you so much, Shrouq, for sharing your story with us. Produced by Ashley Cleek, Regina Bediako, and Shaina Shealy. Edited by Nancy López and Anna Sussman. Original score by Renzo Gorrio. Artwork by Teo Ducot. Chef Renad A 10-year-old girl with a magnetic smile who makes magic out of breadcrumbs on a rooftop in Gaza and the internet is eating it up. Many thanks to Chef Renad and her sister Nourhan Attallah. You can find Chef Renad on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Renad-from-Gaza or Instagram https://www.instagram.com/renadfromgaza/?hl=en. Special thanks to the Committee to Protect Journalists https://cpj.org/ for sharing their extensive reporting from the Gaza Strip. Produced by Shaina Shealy. Edited by Nancy López. Music by Renzo Gorrio. Translation by Ansam Ismail Kalloub. Recording by Shrouq. Season 16 - Episode 9 Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices https://dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:07Speaker 00

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• 1:13Glynn Washington?

  One of the things that surprised me about doing this show and the generosity of people in impossible situations who let us into their lives is learning that there is laughter. Laughter on death row. Laughter on the front lines. Laughter holding a friend's hand in hospice. Laughter. And I've always felt that this laughter, this joy, it feels like an assertion, declaring that whatever you take from me, you can even take my life, but you can't take this.

• 1:55Glynn Washington?

  This you can't have. What is this? This humanity, this defiance, this spirit, this hope? This is mine.

• 2:09Glynn Washington?

  Well, today, from KQD's Snap Judgment Studios, we proudly present a story about this. We're calling it "A Recipe for Survival."

• 2:23Glynn Washington?

  My name is Tim Washington. May you too always have this

• 2:30Glynn Washington?

  when you're listening to Snap Judgment.

• 2:50Glynn Washington?

  Today's story takes us to the front lines of a war. In fact, the deadliest war for journalists in modern history. Since October 7, 2023, nearly 150 journalists have been killed in the most recent Gaza-Israel conflict. Still, journalists on the ground continue to work in extreme and sometimes fatal circumstances. And sensitive listeners, please note, this is a real story that takes place in a war zone. And as such, it contains scenes of violence, death, and destruction. But before that, before the most recent iteration of hostilities began,

• 3:33Glynn Washington?

  there were two newlywed journalists in Gaza. They had a new apartment with a rooftop garden close to the sea, and they had just welcomed a brand-new baby girl into the family. Then these lovebirds, Shruk and Rusty, decided to take a vacation. Snap Judgment.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  October 6, 2023. Shru Ela, her husband Rushdi Saraj, and their baby girl, Danya, are in Mecca. The trip was a birthday present for Rushdi, their first vacation as a family.

• 4:24Speaker 03

  Because I really wanted to go, and I really, really wanted to go with him.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  They booked a room on the 34th floor of a fancy hotel. Floor-to-ceiling windows, a view of the Great Mosque and the Black Kaaba in the center. Later that day, Shru asked Rushdi if he could bring her a coffee.

• 4:47Speaker 03

  So we can drink together, a cup of coffee.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  A simple request. For Rushdi and Shru, coffee is a love language.

• 4:56Speaker 03

  We both are coffee addicators, and the coffee that he fixes is the best coffee ever. And sometimes he says like, "I say I love you when I fix you a coffee."

• 5:08Speaker 02

  So he told her.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  What about calling the reception of the hotel and, you know, you can ask for coffee for both of us, and they're also sweet?

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Shru protests it a little because room service, it's gonna be pricey.

• 5:22Speaker 03

  He said something in Arabic. I'm just trying to word it in English. It is like, you know, it is in Arabic, "Jalma hada hawash", and it means like, "We do savings for this moment. So don't think about money. Just order what you want."

• 5:41Speaker 02

  This would be the last cup of coffee that they would enjoy together in peace. October 7. Shru, Rushdi, and Danya were fast asleep high up in that hotel room in Mecca.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  Rushdi wakes me up at the morning, I think 7:00 a.m., and he said, "We're going back to Gaza." I was like, "What is going on? To Gaza? What is happening? Your family is okay? My family is okay?" And he said, "Yes, but there will be a massive war in Gaza."

• 6:19Speaker 02

  Shruk got out her phone and started scrolling. News reports said Hamas had launched a surprise attack on Israel, killing about 1,200 people and taking 251 hostages.

• 6:31Speaker 03

  We decided we better just run to Gaza before they close the border.

• 6:37Speaker 02

  Both Rushdie and Shruk had lived through numerous conflicts and wars.

• 6:42Speaker 03

  We know that when it comes to wars... And you are out of Gaza, you die every single minute. Because you keep scrolling down the news and it breaks you down.

• 6:59Speaker 02

  They knew what was coming. Egypt would close its border crossing to Gaza, and then it would be nearly impossible for them to get home.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  So we ate our breakfast and was looking for tickets just to leave immediately to Gaza.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  As they're booking plane tickets, Rushdie gets a call from a coworker. He says that when Israel started bombing Gaza, he and three other journalists had gone out to film fighting that had broken out at a border crossing. One of them had been shot and killed. Two others were now missing.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  So it was really a shock, like Rushdie collapsed. They are like a family. They are like brothers for us.

• 7:43Speaker 02

  Rushdie and Shruk are journalists. More than a decade ago, Rushdie founded Ain Media, a well-known production company in Gaza.

• 7:52Speaker 03

  So Rushdie was unaware what is happening around him. And I tried as much as I can just to focus.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  I was having daniya at that time. And I went to change her diapers. And he brought me coffee from the airport. I didn't drink it, and he didn't drink his coffee as well because we are not in the mood.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  The flight was on after midnight.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  From Cairo, they jump in a van toward Gaza. It's early morning, still dark, and it feels like they're the only ones going in that direction. But Shruk and Rushdi are determined to go home.

• 8:39Speaker 03

  If something happened to your family, if one of them got injured or killed, you will never forgive yourself. So when it comes to war, you stay with the family.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  They arrive at Rushdi's family's house. Almost at once, Rushdi picks up a camera and heads out into the street to cover the attacks. He goes alone. They've already lost three colleagues, and he doesn't want to lose more. He films paramedics bringing the dead and wounded men, women, and children to hospitals. He documents airstrikes. He gets drone footage of bombed-out neighborhoods. And during breaks, Rushdi films himself on his phone and posts the videos to Instagram.

• 9:24Speaker 04

  The situation here is very bad. It's unmerciful. We talk about disaster. There is no water anymore. There is no electricity at all. Even the network and internet was down.

• 9:37Speaker 03

  I had that feeling that I'm afraid that he's going outside to do the coverage. But I was unable to say no for him because this is his work and also this is his duty, you know? So it feels like I'm betraying my country when it comes to saying no for my husband.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  And of course, Shruk wants to go out too, to film and document. But they have Danya, and she's still breastfeeding. So every day before he leaves, Shruk makes Rushdi tell her exactly where he's going to be, and she calls him constantly.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  Just a check on you, how are you doing? How are you feeling? This is what we agreed on.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  One day, Rishdi's out working for longer than expected. Shruk calls once, twice, too many times.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  And I was ringing and calling and he's not responding. I was like, what happened to him? Like, he's not responding. But then, he returned with all the dust on his clothes. And then I found out that they bombed a place that was close to him. And he ran to extract the bodies and the people injured under the ripples. So he left the camera and helped in extracting the bodies and the casualties from under the ripples. So he was not a journalist at that time. And I'm always proud of this.

• 11:15Speaker 02

  Day 16. Shruk wakes up to Danya crying.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  She just wanted to keep doing the breastfeeding all the time. And I got annoyed because it hurts when it takes so long of doing the breastfeeding. And I'm tired. So I was talking with her this way. And then Rishdi wakes up. And Rishdi said, okay, I will take her outside and you sleep, you relax.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  After a few hours, Rishdi checks back in with Shruk. He needs to get ready to go out and film paramedics for the day.

• 11:50Speaker 03

  And I was like, Rishdi, I'm having bad feelings because every day they are attacking amputations. And I'm having like, I'm having negative energy about this. I was telling him this way. And he was like, if I did not, who will do it?

• 12:07Speaker 02

  Before he leaves, Rishdi asks his whole family to sit down and eat breakfast together.

• 12:12Speaker 03

  And he insisted on this, and this actually kept him late.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  So they all sit down, all nine of them. Shruk reaches her hand across the table to grab a piece of bread.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  Once I just hold it, we hear a very nearby explosion that made the table moving. You know, all of us got terrified because it's very close. And then we decided to run downstairs.

• 12:46Speaker 03

  Rishdi, like, he was beside me. I was holding his hand. And in the other hand, I was holding Danya. And, like, you can say in a half of a second, he moved and stood in front of me, like he gave me a shield.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  She doesn't hear the rocket at all.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  At this very moment, everything went into dust. Like, I was only seeing dust, only the gray. And then I started to smell, the smell of the weapon, the smoke of the weapon. I have Danya on my... like, carrying her. I tried to put my... you know, to feel her, and I felt like she's fine. And I never thought that they are attacking us because I hear nothing.

• 13:48Speaker 03

  The first thing that I heard, the voice of his mom, where she said, "Where's Rishdi?"

• 13:57Speaker 03

  And I started to... I was feeling that there is something heavy on my legs. And then,

• 14:08Speaker 03

  I tried to see what is there, that heavy thing on my leg.

• 14:13Speaker 03

  It was Rishdi.

• 14:17Speaker 03

  I grabbed him from his leg, and he collapsed, like he's not resisting. So, we carried him and moved because they are still bumping the area. The house is collapsing. They pumped us. They hit us directly with two rockets. And I was even not even too able to understand how we made it alive.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  Rishdi's mom, dad, sister, and brother are okay. Danya is okay. And so is Shru. But Shru can see that Rishdi's severely injured. His skull is broken.

• 15:02Speaker 03

  We called the ambulances several times and the ambulances said, "I'm sorry, we cannot come because the area is very dangerous. They are not stopping, tackling the area. So we cannot take the risk and come." So we decided to carry him.

• 15:19Speaker 02

  The house is crumbling around them. And they move Rushdie to the street. His breath is labored, wheezing. The emergency workers can't make it. But Shruk knows the hospital is just a few blocks away. Maybe they can carry Rushdie there themselves. So they place him into a blanket. They each grab the edges of the cloth and hoist him up and over the rubble.

• 15:50Speaker 03

  And we carried him, you know, using the blanket. So I tried my best to be focused, like, you know, because otherwise I will not forgive myself if I didn't, if I didn't did so. I was, you know, comforting myself and saying, "Totally fine, he will be disabled. Thank God, he's gonna be disabled and he will be alive disabled. I will, I love him all the ways, even if he's disabled." I was, you know, convincing myself with this idea, but I never imagined that he will gone.

• 16:29Speaker 02

  It takes them 15 minutes to get to the hospital. But it's too late. Rushdie is dead.

• 16:43Speaker 02

  The same day, Shruk goes back to the house. The house that's just been bombed. She manages to dig through the debris and find a bag. It's actually her daughter's diaper bag. In it are some clothes, diapers, of course, some gold, cash, her laptop, their passports. She and Rushdie had wanted to go abroad. To study for PhDs in Europe, maybe. To grow the media company. In an instant, Shruk's life has shrunk down to a size she doesn't recognize. She's a widow. Her daughter is fatherless.

• 17:34Speaker 02

  In the days after Rushdie's killed, she looks down at her phone and thinks,

• 17:40Speaker 03

  Why he's not, you know, calling me like, he always called me all the time, like, how are you doing? How are you feeling? And till now, I can say that I cannot just look at his photos.

• 17:57Speaker 03

  I don't feel like I'm, let me say, I'm ready to see him now.

• 18:05Speaker 03

  And also, I believe like if I focus, like looking at his face, I will collapse. And I'm not allowing myself to collapse because I believe it's not a suitable time to grieve.

• 18:22Speaker 02

  Day 30. Shook's moved in with her sisters. But then her sister's neighborhood is hit by a rocket. So they all have to flee together, an hour south to Rafa.

• 18:46Glynn Washington?

  Without her husband, without a home, where will Shook go? And how will she protect her husband's legacy? Stay tuned.

• 19:07Speaker 05

  At Radiolab, we love nothing more than nerding out about science, neuroscience, chemistry.

• 19:14Speaker 06

  But, but we do also like to get into other kinds of stories. Stories about policing or

• 19:19Speaker 05

  Politics.

• 19:20Speaker 06

  Country music.

• 19:21Speaker 05

  Hockey.

• 19:21Speaker 06

  Sex of bugs.

• 19:24Speaker 05

  Regardless of whether we're looking at science or not-science, we bring a rigorous curiosity to get you the answers.

• 19:30Speaker 06

  And hopefully make you see the world anew.

• 19:32Speaker 05

  Radiolab, adventures on the edge of what we think we know.

• 19:36Speaker 06

  Wherever you get your podcasts.

• 19:47Glynn Washington?

  Welcome back to Snap Judgment. Our story today follows real people in wartime and as such, contains violence. When we left, Shrukh's husband had been killed in an airstrike and she and her daughter fled toward the south.

• 20:04Speaker 02

  And it's here, for the first time in weeks, Shrukh has internet. She's flooded with messages from sources, clients, contacts. They write how sorry they are about Rishdi. His death has been all over the news and their messages mourn the apparent end of Ein Media. In a span of around two weeks, two of their journalists have been killed. They've lost their founder. Surely, the company can't go on.

• 20:36Speaker 03

  They are just assuming ending Ein Media by the murder of Rishdi.

• 20:42Speaker 02

  Shrukh's upset. She writes their clients back. We're still here.

• 20:50Speaker 03

  Because if we did not, who's going to document and record this history? And, you know, it's a duty. Even if we are not doing anything for clients, for business, we have to document it for ourselves because it is a history.

• 21:09Speaker 02

  Since the invasion, Israel has restricted and controlled outside journalists' access to Gaza and 55 reporters wrote an open letter asking to be allowed inside. So the work that Ein Media is doing in Gaza has never been more important.

• 21:24Speaker 03

  The only thing that I can do is to work and to get busy because I don't have the privilege to grieve.

• 21:33Speaker 02

  The company only has one camera. It's too dangerous to get their gear from the office in the north, which is under constant attack by the Israeli army. So they rent gear and start filming.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  Shrukh teaches herself to operate a camera. Sometimes she goes out with another producer.

• 21:54Speaker 03

  Stories that we're trying to cover is the displacement camp, basically, and how everything has a story inside.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  They interview displaced families. Families that sleep on the beach in tents. Tents that flood when the tide comes in. They document aid workers giving out food and clothing. They try to stay away from red zones and areas where there have been airstrikes.

• 22:31Speaker 03

  You know, we all believe that it's not only the marked areas that is just dangerous. It's everywhere.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  February 9th, day 125. This is when I first reached out to Shru. I found Rushdie's name on a list of the journalists who had been killed in Gaza. I looked them up. The first picture I saw was from Shruq's Instagram. Rushdie was snuggled with Danya in a chair, looking down at her. I messaged Shruq on WhatsApp, and she started sending me voice memos.

• 23:08Speaker 03

  Today is 131, uh, day of this genocidal war, the war that feels, that feels forever. Yesterday night, my daughter and I, we were able to sleep finally after an epic week of being sick. Anyways, um, uh, it's very heavy, it's very heavy. Like, sometimes, uh, I just feel numb regarding everything that is happening. And also the persevering as well. And I don't want to stop it. I don't want to stop this persevering because,

• 23:52Speaker 03

  uh, let me say, I hear.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  I'm sorry for this.

• 24:10Speaker 03

  So I don't want to stop this breastfeeding. My daughter now, she's one year and three months. And I don't want to stop it. I can stop it, but I don't want to stop it.

• 24:26Speaker 03

  Breastfeeding is a good thing that keeps both of us close to each other. And also, when it comes to breastfeeding, for me as Shruk, I don't know if I ever later will feel this feeling once again.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  Which I mean, after Hushdi.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  Day 139. Danya is 15 months old. Shruk's living in a small house in Rafa with her family. Her sisters and brothers, and their families too.

• 25:05Speaker 03

  I sleep in one room along with 12 children and six adults. And those, all of them are my relatives. All of them are women. And what I did today, that I...

• 25:26Speaker 03

  Finally, I got shower after almost eight days. Thanks God, I was able to take a shower.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  Sorry, that's my daughter. She's hugging me. Baby to mama.

• 25:45Speaker 02

  One day in Rafa, Shruk decides she's going to make herself a coffee, like Hushdi used to.

• 25:54Speaker 03

  To fix myself a cup of coffee.

• 25:56Speaker 02

  She sends me this message as she's walking down the street.

• 26:00Speaker 03

  I remember that I was fine at that moment. But then,

• 26:06Speaker 03

  just something that crossed my, my heart at that moment, saying that, solo, I'm fixing the coffee. Solo, I'm drinking it. Solo, I start to sob.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  Her sisters come into the kitchen and they're confused. Because Shruk hasn't really cried since Rishi died. And there she is, sobbing over a cup of coffee.

• 26:36Speaker 03

  Since then, my family decided that they're gonna fix me the cup of coffee. So since that moment till now, I'm not fixing a cup of coffee at all. It's only my family. So whenever I want a coffee, I just ask them easily. And sometimes they just fix it and give it to me.

• 26:54Speaker 03

  I'm not ready for this. And,

• 26:58Speaker 03

  and I really wonder for how long I'm gonna stand this way.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  One morning, I wake up to a new voice message on my phone from Shruk. She's moved again. Still in Rafa, she and her sisters found an apartment just for them.

• 27:18Speaker 03

  So the apartment that we moved to, this is Danya, she's making noise. Anyways, I hope that it is a safe place. You try your best to be as safe as you can. But at least we got lucky to find

• 27:35Speaker 03

  an apartment.

• 27:36Speaker 02

  She'll have her own bedroom. So she and Danya will have some privacy.

• 27:45Speaker 03

  So I'm whispering, I'm sorry because Danya is sleeping and

• 27:51Speaker 03

  it's 2 AM now and they cannot sleep. Um, yesterday, they started the invasion of the western part of the Rafa city.

• 28:05Speaker 02

  Day 213. I get this message from Shruk. Israel has begun the invasion of Rafa, where according to Reuters, over a million Palestinians have fled, including Shruk.

• 28:19Speaker 03

  And you cannot imagine like how

• 28:24Speaker 03

  or where all of these displaced people would go. And really, there is no place and they cannot sleep because we are quite close to the army soldiers. We can hear the bombings all the time and just afraid like because of seeing what happened in the past seven months when it comes to the invasion. And what does it mean to have the soldiers

• 28:57Speaker 03

  quite close to you? They cannot sleep because I'm thinking of where the hell shall I escape? Along with my daughter and family.

• 29:09Speaker 02

  City by city, the places that Shru and Danya can find refuge have disappeared. So I keep checking in to see how they are.

• 29:18Speaker 03

  Hey there, thank you for reaching out. Actually, after the invasion of Rafa, we decided to go to the middle area of the Gaza Strip.

• 29:26Speaker 02

  To a city called Der Al-Bala. Danya and Shru are now living in a tent.

• 29:32Speaker 03

  We are coping with the current living conditions, but it's always there's no place like home. So that's it. So this is life under the word.

• 29:47Speaker 02

  Shruk's still working, going out every day to film and document Gazan stories, walking for hours to find internet to upload footage. While Shruk works, Danya stays with her sisters. They have kids her same age. Actually, Shruk says, the one bright spot in all of this is that Danya spends her days playing with her cousins. At night, when Shruk comes home, the sunset calms her down. She spends her evenings with Danya, who's talking now. She just turned two. Sometimes, Shruk thinks of going to the sea.

• 30:29Speaker 02

  She thinks of a time when the beach was free of tents. She thinks of her husband.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  We used to go to the sea. We bring our coffee with us and we just sit. Like, most of the time, we don't talk, we just sit. A sunset is such an invitation, like, "I didn't see you today, and I miss you, and I wanted to see you today, and to watch the sunset together." So, you know, it's a symbol of love, like, "I'm gonna invite you for a coffee in front of the sea." Ah, this is my daughter, this is Danya. She's smiling, we're talking about her father.

• 31:44Glynn Washington?

  Ruzhti was the 23rd journalist killed in this war. In November, Shruk was honored in New York by the Committee to Protect Journalists with the 2024 International Press Freedom Award. Shruk is still living and reporting in Deir Ebal. Her daughter, Danya, is now two. Since the ceasefire was reached, Shruk thinks about returning home to Gaza City, but has no physical home to return to.

• 32:13Glynn Washington?

  The original score for this story was by Renzo Gorrio. It was edited by Nancy Lopez and Anna Sussman. It was produced by Ashley Cleek, Regina Barriaco, and Shaina Shealy.

• 32:38Glynn Washington?

  Now, after the break, we're gonna hear from a kid who's been cooking her way through the war. Stay tuned.

• 32:59Glynn Washington?

  Welcome back to Snap Judgment, the Recipe for Survival episode. My name is Glynn Washington, and Snap producer Shaina Shealy was home in DC doom scrolling on her phone when a video popped up on her Instagram feed from Gaza. And this video was so different from the videos she was used to seeing from the region that she just couldn't stop watching.

• 33:27Speaker 02

  The video is of a kid standing on a rooftop in Gaza. She's in a t-shirt and flared blue jeans, and she's grating pita bread by hand into a bowl full of crumbs.

• 33:42Speaker 02

  "Work, Nafa," she says. "Let's get started."

• 33:50Speaker 02

  Chef Renad. She has wavy brown hair, long bangs tucked behind her ears. Sometimes she wears bandanas.

• 34:00Speaker 02

  Her smile is so radiant, I can't not smile back at my phone.

• 34:07Speaker 02

  In this video, Chef instructs her audience step by step on how to make fake cream. Water, cornstarch, semolina, milk powder. Mix it together. You can hear surveillance drones overhead all the while.

• 34:24Speaker 02

  The dish she's making, knafa, is conventionally made with layers of melty gooey cheese and orange oily pastry threads. But chef does not have any of those things. So she improvises. At the end of the video, she holds a round metal tray in front of the camera, topped with crispy breadcrumbs, orange from food dye.

• 34:50Speaker 02

  "It's amazing," she says. "So delicious."

• 34:57Speaker 02

  The video on Instagram got 370,000 likes.

• 35:07Speaker 02

  Chef Renad's videos were so different from the ones I was used to seeing from Gaza. Her content wasn't about death and destruction. It was about the sweetness of life. I needed to talk to this chef, but I knew it would be tough. For one, Chef Renad is in high demand. And it was days after the January ceasefire announcement. Her family was hosting dozens of displaced people in their apartment. Why would she talk to me? So I actually reached out to Shruk, the award-winning war journalist from our last story, for advice. And Shruk was like, "Oh yeah, I love Chef Renad." Within minutes, I got this message from the chef's older sister.

• 35:52Speaker 02

  By accident, I was calling Shruk, and she told me about this. We love her so much. Renad loves Shruk so much. And she told me about that she will record the interview.

• 36:17Speaker 02

  Renad?

• 36:20Speaker 02

  And now, Shruk is at the chef's apartment with Renad and her sister and a translator. Hello, hello. I'm on speakerphone from my house in DC. Hi, I'm Renad.

• 36:34Speaker 03

  Hi Renaud! What an honour to talk to you. Guys, we are having Renaud and we are having Nourhan at the same time. I'm so lucky to have both of them around me. And each time I'm looking at Renaud, I feel hungry. I don't know why. Maybe because she's a chef.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  Soon, Chef Renad is serving Shruk cheesecake.

• 36:51Speaker 03

  Wow!

• 36:52Speaker 02

  And then coffee.

• 36:55Speaker 03

  Remember when coffee was banned? And now we have coffee. Yes. And this is Halat Jiban.

• 37:02Speaker 02

  And these sweet cheese rolls.

• 37:05Speaker 03

  Delicious. Too zaky. Zaky. I'm lucky to do this broadcasting. I'm eating lots of tasty dishes.

• 37:16Speaker 02

  Eventually, Shruk and Chef Renad sit down together.

• 37:20Speaker 03

  I'm Renaud. I'm 20 years old. The next month, I will be 11. Okay, my name is Renaud. I'm from Dar el Balah. I'm 10 years old. The next month, I will be 11. And what do you want people to know about you? That I love life a lot. And I miss my school, my friends, and Gaza as before the war.

• 37:52Speaker 02

  10-year-old Renaud should be in the 6th grade. But she hasn't been to school in over a year, since before the war started. And a few months into those empty, unpredictable days, she and her older sister Nourhan started making these cooking videos.

• 38:07Speaker 03

  It's me, everyone, it's me, Nourhan. This is the person in the shadow.

• 38:12Speaker 02

  Nourhan is 25, a pharmacist.

• 38:15Speaker 03

  But because of the war, I prefer to stay at my home and decide to save my sister's mental health by keeping her busy with something she loves. So it was cooking.

• 38:33Speaker 02

  Nourhan is basically Renaud's producer.

• 38:36Speaker 03

  Okay, guys, I am the one who filmed the videos, edited the videos, published the videos.

• 38:41Speaker 02

  She writes captions for Renaud, like, "Can you tell me how many times I said the word fluffy? We make the most delicious bread in the whole world."

• 38:51Speaker 03

  And Renaud just eating. Yeah! Yeah, okay, she's very good at cooking, but I'm doing all the work. I don't mind being suffering for my little sister. She's my... She's my... Harab is a cotton candy. Yeah.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  She says Renaud is her cotton candy.

• 39:14Speaker 02

  Chef Renad says her content includes these three main things.

• 39:19Speaker 06

  Three things, which are cooking and talking about Gaza and my smile, of course. So, people loved my smile and my cooking.

• 39:30Speaker 02

  She goes for that ASMR thing, too. Scraping the top of fried bread.

• 39:38Speaker 03

  I love that sound, that crunchy sound and crispy sound of the food.

• 39:44Speaker 02

  Struk is translating for Renaud here. She jumps in every so often.

• 39:48Speaker 03

  Always prefer to eat stuff that is just crispy from outside.

• 39:54Speaker 02

  Renaud is the kind of chef that tastes as she goes.

• 39:58Speaker 03

  I remember I was cooking a mushroom soup and I forgot myself, I started eating the mushroom even before I cook it. I tried to taste it and then I found myself eating the entire mushroom.

• 40:12Speaker 02

  She collects recipes online and then uses them for inspiration for her own creations. Most of her recipes are based on what she receives in aid packages, what she calls "boxes that fall from the sky from other countries."

• 40:33Speaker 02

  There's this video where she makes something called "war sandwich." She sautees crushed garlic with onion, pomegranate syrup, and canned olives.

• 40:44Speaker 02

  She adds chopped meat from a can she got in an aid box. Then she wraps the fried meat in flatbread. And then she douses the entire wrap in a water and flour paste and then coats the entire sandwich in breadcrumbs, deep fries it, makes sure we hear how crunchy it is, and then dunks it into tahini sauce.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  She promises us it's nicer than shawarma.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  Or my favorite, the war lollipop.

• 41:22Speaker 02

  She boils sugar in a big spoon over a gas burner. She says that after it liquefies, she pours it over toothpicks. It cools into these brown, hard globs. Not the most appealing, and she knows it. At the end of the video, she says:

• 41:41Speaker 02

  "The shapes are as frightening as bombs." In every one of her videos, Chef Renad seems so satisfied with her creations, overjoyed at what she's cooked up. But she says that eating food that comes as aid doesn't feel good.

• 42:01Speaker 02

  She tells us there was this one time she really missed eating cheese. Like, she wanted cheese so bad that she and her sister got up really early on a cold, windy morning, and they got seats on a donkey cart and settled in for a four-hour journey to get to a market in Khan Yunis.

• 42:22Speaker 03

  I was afraid of not having or getting the cheese because I would be very desperate and disappointed for not having it.

• 42:33Speaker 02

  She said the trip was miserable.

• 42:36Speaker 03

  The donkey was really tired over walking on the broken streets.

• 42:46Speaker 02

  And when she got to Khan Yunis, she could barely recognize the city. She saw sewage everywhere. The streets were so packed with tents, it was hard to maneuver the donkey cart between them.

• 43:03Speaker 02

  The cheese she was looking for, it's a special kind of cheddar called "greatest", and she actually found it in the market.

• 43:12Speaker 03

  It was never an easy journey to go and look for cheese around. And I found it.

• 43:26Speaker 03

  I feel like when I found it, I feel like it's not a cheese. It's a treasure that I found. Chef finds a cheese, it feels like a patient finds a medicine. This is according to Renad. So she feels very happy.

• 43:51Speaker 02

  She came home and used the cheese in a noodle recipe with canned mushrooms. Chef seems pretty sure that the real reason people watch her videos is her smile.

• 44:04Speaker 00

  And I think that my smile is the biggest factor for my being famous.

• 44:11Speaker 02

  It is a very good smile, a constant in her videos.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  When Chef Renad's sister Nourhan started posting her cooking videos, she got message after message about Renad's smile. And she kept saying this word, contagious.

• 44:28Speaker 00

  Contagious. I didn't know the meaning of this word, but when I searched about it, it means like when the people see Renad's smile, she also smiles. So it was...

• 44:41Speaker 03

  It is a kind of conviction.

• 44:43Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 44:50Speaker 02

  Do you ever feel like it's hard to keep the smile on all the time?

• 44:57Speaker 00

  For sure, I'm trying to be smiling all the time. That I hide behind this smile a lot of sadness over martyred people and my friends who have passed away during this war. And I can't see them anymore. And of course, my school has stopped.

• 45:20Speaker 00

  I always try to smile in order to lighten the suffering inside me.

• 45:27Speaker 02

  Behind her videos, there were times Renad couldn't smile this past year. Times when she was hungry and had no food. And times when she had food, but couldn't bring herself to cook it.

• 45:45Speaker 03

  I wasn't, I felt shy to, to share anything about food at a time that my people are starving.

• 45:54Speaker 02

  The only thing that gets her posting again is when one of her experiments works.

• 46:03Speaker 02

  Like when she managed to get fluffy pancakes without eggs or milk.

• 46:08Speaker 03

  To that moment, I felt, uh, this is such an award. Okay, let's, guys, let's go to the, uh, to proof to see, uh, the location of the kitchen, the small kitchen of Renad. Yalla? Yeah, yeah, let's go. Yalla? Yalla? Yeah, let's go.

• 46:25Speaker 02

  Shruk walks up three flights of stairs with Chef Renad and Nourhan to the rooftop kitchen.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  Wow, it's sunny today. Yeah?

• 46:35Speaker 02

  They get to the roof and Renad sets up.

• 46:40Speaker 03

  So, uh, what do we, what do we have here? You're gonna cook something for us? Um, shalag, l'antilat. Yeah. And the leymon, ben dora. Leymon?

• 46:50Speaker 02

  She's making salad. It's the first dish Chef Renad ever made, one of her favorites.

• 46:55Speaker 03

  So you added the pepper. Ben dora. And the salad, now you're gonna hit it, you're gonna smash it. Yeah.

• 47:03Speaker 03

  So she is mixing the tomato with the pepper, try to make it more juicy.

• 47:08Speaker 02

  She had spices and lemon juice.

• 47:10Speaker 03

  Lots of lemon, wow. Yeah.

• 47:14Speaker 02

  And finally, she mixes it all together.

• 47:18Speaker 02

  Shruk leans in for a taste.

• 47:20Speaker 03

  Mmm, it's very yummy.

• 47:29Speaker 03

  Spicy. Time to clean this mess.

• 47:36Speaker 03

  Yalla, bye, Nourhan.

• 47:40Speaker 03

  We're gonna miss you, Sharuk. We're gonna miss you too, guys. What a lovely day with you. What a lovely day with you.

• 47:48Speaker 03

  Ya'la, it's sunset now.

• 47:53Speaker 02

  Sharuk leaves their apartment with a full stomach and heads back home from a day of work. Back to her daughter, Danya.

• 48:25Glynn Washington?

  You can find Chef Renad at Renad from Gaza on YouTube, Instagram, or wherever you get your social media. Many thanks to Chef Renad and her sister Nourhan Atala and Ansam Ismail Kalloub, who helped with this translation. Sharuk recorded the audio in Gaza. Another special thanks to the Committee to Protect Journalists for sharing their extensive reporting from the Gaza Strip. This story was edited by Nancy Lopez. It was produced by Shaina Shieley.

• 49:12Glynn Washington?

  Now, if you missed even a moment, know that Snap features into places others dare not tread. The Snap Judgment Podcast awaits your ears each and every week. And Snap recently released the brand-new podcast series Fire Escape. Every fire brings Amika Moda closer to reclaiming the world she lost. Fire Escape is available wherever you get your podcasts. Snap is on the Instagrammer KQD in San Francisco. It's where we hide our secrets. Snap is brought to you by the team that always has just one more question, except, of course, for the Uber producer, Mr. Mark Ristich. Your honor, no further questions.

• 49:55Glynn Washington?

  That was Nancy Lopez, Pat McMillan, Anna Sussman, Renzo Gorio, John Facio, Shayna Shealy, Taylor Decot, Flo Wiley, Bo Walsh, Marissa Dodge, David Exame, Magina Berriaco.

• 50:11Glynn Washington?

  And know that this is not the news. No way is this news. In fact, you could plant a grove of large pole pine, giant sequoia, the eucalyptus, coast live oak. And when these mighty trees grow into a forest, and that forest burns, you shake your head, secure in the knowledge that each and every tree needs this place in order to release their seeds. And you would still not be as far away from the news as this is. But this is BRX.