#172 - Nick Mullen and Dan Soder

Nick Mullen and Dan Soder return to the pod to discuss the Austin Powers series, Jeffrey Epstein, Al Pacino and Robert De Niro’s kids, risking it all for Rogue from X-Men, Aunt Becky’s incarceration, back problems, and much more. Nick, Dan and Stav help callers including a man whose widowed dad is having an affair with his late wife’s married friend, and a salesman who’s considering tattling on his coworkers who are juicing their numbers to get better leads. Follow Nick Mullen on social media: https://www.instagram.com/mulldogforever https://www.tiktok.com/@mulldogforever https://x.com/nycguidovoice See Dan Soder live and follow him on social media: https://www.dansoder.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dansoder https://www.youtube.com/@DanSoder https://x.com/DanSoder https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Thank you to our sponsors!! Visible - https://www.visible.com/catfished switch now! Twisted Tea - https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!! ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hey Richmond, Mark Smith, Midas Richmond, 2026. We have been doing what we do for 29 years. Total car care, total community care. In 2026, we are donating $365,000. A thousand dollars a day to the nonprofits we've historically supported. Gooch and Care, Shalom Farms, St. Joseph's Villa, Ask, the Colonial Heights Food Pantry, everybody we've helped over the years. These are important things making a big impact in our society right now. Total car care, total community care, that is Midas of Richmond.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Having lots of choices sounds like it would be great. Who doesn't want more flavors of ice cream? It turns out, the answer is us. Too many choices can make us anxious, overwhelmed. I'm Shankar Vedantam, host of the Hidden Brain Podcast and YouTube channel. Each week, Hidden Brain brings you fascinating, science-backed insights about human behavior. So the next time you have to choose, choose Hidden Brain on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or hiddenbrain.org.

• 1:00Stavros Halkias?

  Hello, everyone. We have a very, very fun show with my old pals Nick Mullen and Dan Soder coming up right now. And yes, I am parked at a Wawa, but don't worry about that. What I want you to worry about is the fact that the Dreamboat Tour, the final leg of the Dreamboat Tour is kicking off soon. And a lot of the dates are sold out, but we still have tickets for Jacksonville, Atlanta, we just added a second show. Buy those tickets up if you're in the ATL. What are some other big, Rochester, Milwaukee, buy those tickets. And also, the Baltimore special taping, April 24th and 25th, four shows, three are sold out. There's a few tickets left to the Friday Late Show. Come be a part of the special taping.

• 1:43Stavros Halkias?

  We're going to tape all four shows. The best stuff, we'll get into the final product. So anyway, enjoy this super fun episode with two of my favorite guys in the world to riff with. I think you're gonna have a nice time. See you on the road. Opa! Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World. 904-800-STOP. Call in, we'll solve your problems. I got my good pals Nick Mullen, Dan Soder on the couch in the makeshift Lower East Side studio.

• 2:12Speaker 03

  I feel like I'm in to do the stunts for Adam.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  We need a guy that can jump through a wall. I go, all right, is it Union, Union Scout? What are you guys gonna call me, some kind of gay? And then I'm gonna jump through a wall?

• 2:26Speaker 04

  Have you ever seen Rad, the BMX movie? I love you, they didn't even make an attempt to hide that all of, what's the aunt's name from Full House?

• 2:35Speaker 03

  Oh, Becky.

• 2:36Speaker 04

  Aunt Becky plays the, have you seen?

• 2:37Speaker 03

  She's the hot girl in Rad.

• 2:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, so Rad, in Rad, Rad is a-

• 2:41Stavros Halkias?

  Young Aunt Becky?

• 2:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:43Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  Aunt Becky was hot, Aunt Becky still is hot.

• 2:46Speaker 04

  She's in prison now.

• 2:47Speaker 03

  Oh, she was married to Massimo, right? The guy, Massimo's shirts?

• 2:53Speaker 04

  Maybe, she's in prison, she bribed the-

• 2:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, but her husband is like, the guy that looked at, I think, I think her husband like owned the shirts I wasn't allowed to buy in middle school.

• 3:04Speaker 04

  You weren't allowed to buy Massimo's?

• 3:05Speaker 03

  It was at the, it wasn't at Target yet. I was only buying clothes at Target. They, they became Target after I got out the game. I wish I would have got Massimo.

• 3:16Stavros Halkias?

  I know what you mean, cause I, I remember buying a Massimo pea coat and being like, I'm fucking rich, dude. From Target.

• 3:21Speaker 04

  Oh, I thought you said you weren't allowed to buy it, cause they were like, your mom was like, I hate.

• 3:24Speaker 03

  Oh, Italians?

• 3:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, she's like, I don't fuck with fashion.

• 3:29Speaker 03

  I was like, what? Grandpa died in the world, no, didn't even serve.

• 3:33Speaker 04

  If you don't know, Rad is a BMX movie, and it's like one of those eighties movies where it's like, the bad guys coming to town with bad BMX.

• 3:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, they do evil BMX.

• 3:42Speaker 04

  But Aunt Rachel-

• 3:44Speaker 03

  Aunt Becky.

• 3:44Speaker 04

  Aunt Becky has to, are you sure?

• 3:47Speaker 03

  A hundred percent positive.

• 3:48Stavros Halkias?

  It's Aunt Becky for sure.

• 3:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:50Speaker 04

  Who the fuck is Rachel?

• 3:51Speaker 03

  Stamos put twins in her in Full House, I was like, damn right you did.

• 3:54Speaker 04

  Who's, who's, who's Aunt Rachel then?

• 3:56Stavros Halkias?

  Is there an Aunt Rachel?

• 3:57Speaker 03

  There's a Miss Rachel.

• 3:58Stavros Halkias?

  Miss Rachel, the-

• 3:59Speaker 04

  On Full House?

• 4:00Speaker 03

  No, on Full House, it was just Aunt Becky.

• 4:02Stavros Halkias?

  Miss Rachel, you know, the child educator who's poisoning our children's minds.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  This woman gives all of her time to helping kids.

• 4:11Speaker 04

  Oh, oh, oh, Miss Rachel, yeah, yeah.

• 4:13Stavros Halkias?

  She's the one who's like, Palestinians are children too, and then people are like, not anymore bitch.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  Now they're targets. For this complicated weapons.

• 4:23Stavros Halkias?

  Imagine how fucking, what a piece of shit you have to be to see that lady and be like, she is my enemy. Like the nicest woman you've ever seen in your life.

• 4:32Speaker 03

  Just like a guy throwing a knife at a wall back in the day about Mr. Rogers. Taking your shoes off when you come in the house, kinda queer shit is that?

• 4:41Stavros Halkias?

  Mr. Motherfucking Rogers. Shout out to him not having any creepy.

• 4:44Speaker 03

  Thank God dude, because the one in England got caught fucking all.

• 4:49Speaker 04

  But that's more of an English thing rather than a children's entertainment.

• 4:52Speaker 03

  That's the spoil of being British.

• 4:54Stavros Halkias?

  Who was he? Gary Glitter? That's a different pedophile.

• 4:57Speaker 03

  He was the one that did the stadium music that was such a bad.

• 5:02Stavros Halkias?

  But he's also a pedophile, but no.

• 5:03Speaker 03

  He's such a bad pedophile, he got kicked out of Thailand.

• 5:06Speaker 04

  Jimmy Savile.

• 5:06Stavros Halkias?

  Jimmy Savile, yeah.

• 5:08Speaker 03

  And he was like.

• 5:09Stavros Halkias?

  He got kicked out of Thailand?

• 5:10Speaker 03

  Gary Glitter.

• 5:11Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my God, dude.

• 5:13Speaker 03

  Gary Glitter, Gary Glitter, that's like, that's like when Homer gets kicked out of the Chinese buffet or the all you can eat seafood buffet.

• 5:20Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, that's insane.

• 5:23Speaker 03

  They go.

• 5:23Stavros Halkias?

  Who, who?

• 5:25Speaker 03

  They go, that man over there. He's doing, he's doing three to a lap.

• 5:31Speaker 03

  He's got a six pack on his lap.

• 5:33Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck dude, that guy just, that guy just thought like the Epstein, the Epstein list was about sellouts. He was like, he was like, nah, man, I'm not for all that corporate pedophilia. I'm in the jungles of Thailand getting kicked out.

• 5:45Speaker 03

  Farm to table, kid to penis to my mouth. Oh, you guys were mainstream with that Epstein shit. Oh, you're hanging out with Bill Clinton?

• 5:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, now pet, now even the Jews get pedophilia. They don't get lit.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  I need you to eat. I need to eat monkey brains before I get sucked off by a kid.

• 6:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, shout out. Actually, no, no shout out to Gary Glitter.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  No, die.

• 6:12Stavros Halkias?

  I was almost gonna say shout out. I'm gonna say no shout out to Gary Glitter.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  But Jimmy Savile was like the, wasn't he like British Mr. Rogers?

• 6:19Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think he was quite Mr. Rogers. I think he was like. But he wasn't like purely-

• 6:24Speaker 04

  He's like a Willy Wonka type.

• 6:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. He was, yeah.

• 6:27Speaker 03

  Just pratfalls and then screams at kids.

• 6:29Stavros Halkias?

  Like a child show, yeah. Didn't he do, I feel like every, all of British television is just like, uh, like a different gay, like a different gay guy or like a different guy that might not be gay, just barely, host like having a dinner party. Cause they're all having like-

• 6:44Speaker 03

  That's every British television.

• 6:45Stavros Halkias?

  Every British show is like those panel shows where they're like, oh, you know.

• 6:48Speaker 04

  I've only seen the sitcoms.

• 6:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:50Stavros Halkias?

  No, they have like those sit down shows where it's like-

• 6:52Speaker 03

  Oh, like Graham Norton where he's like-

• 6:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that one, yeah. Yeah, but I feel like-

• 6:56Speaker 03

  Where they all look like they're at a, like a airport lounge.

• 6:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That looks like a pretty fun show. It's always like, it's always like Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts.

• 7:03Speaker 03

  It's like our elite- It's like our elite A-list and then a guy that I've never seen from Britain that everyone loves.

• 7:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's on some sitcom about like gardening that's been on British TV forever.

• 7:16Speaker 03

  British TV fucked me up because of the lighting. It was always lit different. And that, to me was like, that's not TV.

• 7:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  Lit like shit.

• 7:24Stavros Halkias?

  I never, all I watched was, there was one show in a, in a, uh, like a department store. Hotel too.

• 7:32Speaker 04

  No, it's Faulty Towers.

• 7:33Stavros Halkias?

  Faulty Towers is the bed and breakfast, right?

• 7:35Speaker 04

  I think that's a department store.

• 7:36Stavros Halkias?

  Is it? Oh, faulty, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:38Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 7:38Stavros Halkias?

  I watched that and I thought, uh, what's his face from Monty Python was in it.

• 7:42Speaker 03

  John Cleese?

• 7:42Stavros Halkias?

  But it wasn't. It was just some different British guy.

• 7:44Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 7:46Stavros Halkias?

  And I remember like bragging, being like, I know all about British shit and showing it to someone, being like, check it out. This show, John Cleese is almost on.

• 7:53Speaker 04

  I've never watched any, I've watched maybe one episode of The British Office.

• 7:57Speaker 03

  I watched it.

• 7:58Speaker 04

  And then a lot of Keeping Up appearances, but that's it. Outside of that, I haven't seen any of them. I don't know what Black Adder is.

• 8:02Stavros Halkias?

  Me neither. It's Mr. Bean.

• 8:04Speaker 04

  Oh, is it?

• 8:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's Mr. Bean.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  No, Mr. Bean's fucking-

• 8:06Speaker 04

  Well, I would like to go back because I, I was thinking about Mr. Bean in my head the other day and I'm like, that has, it has to be bullshit.

• 8:13Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 8:13Speaker 04

  If I watched it now, it has to suck.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  Well, it's like Mr. Magoo.

• 8:17Stavros Halkias?

  I watched it recently.

• 8:18Speaker 03

  Mr. Magoo, yeah, he like almost falls and shit. Mr. Bean just gets himself into situations and facial expressions.

• 8:24Speaker 04

  The one I remember is him going around his house like using a gun to turn off things.

• 8:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, to turn the lights off.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  But that shit's funny. He does. I think it would hold up. I think.

• 8:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:36Speaker 03

  Court testimony against him. They just play that back. Is this you?

• 8:39Speaker 04

  Well, it's crazy because he had so much success with Mr. Bean and they let him do that one spy movie and they're like, we've had enough of this guy.

• 8:45Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm. Yeah, well, there was Rat Race where he was also pretty much Mr. Bean.

• 8:48Speaker 04

  He was Mr. Bean in that, yeah.

• 8:50Stavros Halkias?

  And then, yeah, they made him like sexy.

• 8:53Speaker 04

  They did Johnny English.

• 8:53Stavros Halkias?

  And it's funny because Johnny English is like very, I think it would catch on now. Cause what it, you know what it was? It was kinda like Tim Allen core, where it's like, these young guys don't know shit. It was kind of a boomer, a boomer spy thing where it's like, like, somebody had hacked computers, so he had to use analog stuff. So they're like, we have a, a hybrid car for you, you know, Johnny English. And he's like, what am I, a fucking homo? Give me a fucking ro- yeah. And he, he asked for the old school, like, you know, muscle car or whatever. I don't know, whatever, British car. And they're like, and it doesn't get hacked or something? I don't know. I, I saw like five minutes of it.

• 9:30Speaker 04

  You, that's way more information than I had on Johnny.

• 9:32Stavros Halkias?

  I believe that's what happens in Johnny.

• 9:34Speaker 04

  I, I heard. I imagine it failed because it came out at the same time as Austin Powers, which was so much better.

• 9:40Stavros Halkias?

  No, did it?

• 9:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's the same general, like a twenty year window.

• 9:44Stavros Halkias?

  Twenty years.

• 9:46Speaker 03

  Twenty years for a British spy?

• 9:49Stavros Halkias?

  Johnny English came out in like nine, in like two thousand something.

• 9:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:53Stavros Halkias?

  Two thousand three. Two thousand three.

• 9:54Speaker 04

  When did, when did Goldmember come out? Two thousand two? Goldmember, Goldmember's gotta be like two thousand two.

• 10:01Stavros Halkias?

  But Goldmember sucked.

• 10:03Speaker 04

  No.

• 10:04Stavros Halkias?

  We rewatched it. Goldmember, actually, the best part is Goldmember.

• 10:08Speaker 04

  You can't say Mr. Bean holds up without checking and then say Goldmember.

• 10:13Speaker 03

  The fall off of Spy Who Shagged Me into Goldmember is crazy.

• 10:16Stavros Halkias?

  The first two are great.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  Spy Who Shagged Me, a regular Austin Powers, Spy Who Shagged Me, the fall off of.

• 10:22Speaker 04

  Which is the one with Mini Me where there's the silhouette and he's got the penis?

• 10:26Speaker 03

  I think that's Goldmember.

• 10:27Speaker 04

  That, that's one of the, that's one of the funniest.

• 10:29Stavros Halkias?

  They did that gag in two though. But that, yeah.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  But that also, and that.

• 10:32Speaker 04

  But that scene where he goes, where they, there's one lab coat and he goes, one of us is gonna have to get on the other's shoulders. And he's got the tiny legs.

• 10:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that is good.

• 10:39Speaker 04

  That's one of the funniest things anything, anyone's ever done.

• 10:41Stavros Halkias?

  But I will tell you, the problem with Goldmember is that Beyonce, very clearly, there was a note that's like, she can't be horny publicly.

• 10:49Speaker 03

  Why?

• 10:50Stavros Halkias?

  On the other one.

• 10:51Speaker 03

  Do you think it was gonna cause chaos?

• 10:52Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know, but the other two, it's such a horny, it's a sexy.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  Black women won't be in this, British fucks.

• 10:58Stavros Halkias?

  You should be like a scary animal.

• 11:02Speaker 03

  They go, no, no, no, you don't understand, she can be like sexual, I go, she can't.

• 11:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  That's how you get more of them.

• 11:08Stavros Halkias?

  It's gonna scare everybody.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  One, she's horny, and one scene, the next they know there's eight of them, and the next.

• 11:14Stavros Halkias?

  The British were too racist against Beyonce in 2003.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  You guys need to, you guys need to turn this down. They lay eggs like spiders. If she's horny, we could have nine Beyonce's by the end of this filming.

• 11:30Stavros Halkias?

  That don't sound so bad.

• 11:32Speaker 04

  What if, what if Beyonce was really stupid and she hated Michael Myers, but she thought all the characters were different people?

• 11:38Speaker 03

  No, that's funny.

• 11:38Stavros Halkias?

  Catch up to you.

• 11:39Speaker 04

  So she was like, fucking fat bastard.

• 11:42Speaker 03

  That's really funny.

• 11:42Speaker 04

  And she thought it was a secret between them.

• 11:44Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then Michael Myers just thought she was kinky?

• 11:48Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:48Speaker 03

  Mike Myers was just like, she's crazy kinky.

• 11:50Speaker 04

  Tried to fuck her as Dr. Evil, and she was like, what?

• 11:52Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, Dr. Evil, I'm dating fat bastard.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:55Speaker 04

  She doesn't know what moves.

• 11:56Speaker 03

  He has to fuck.

• 11:57Stavros Halkias?

  So, we're all coworkers here.

• 11:59Speaker 03

  Mike Myers is like, the pussy's so good, I go through three hours of prosthetics.

• 12:04Speaker 03

  He's gotta sit there, he's gotta be lectured by a Navy SEAL on how to withstand torture to fuck Beyonce.

• 12:10Stavros Halkias?

  Jim Carrey, right?

• 12:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was like.

• 12:12Stavros Halkias?

  He actually hated it. But I will, there is a sexual chemistry missing that the first two have, because Beyonce clearly, this was like her, she, she wants to be in a big franchise, she wants to be a movie star. But it's that thing that happens sometimes when it's like very famous people try and sanitize the shit.

• 12:28Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 12:28Stavros Halkias?

  So it's like, clearly, they have this weird, non-sexual relationship, and it, that zaps Austin completely.

• 12:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:36Stavros Halkias?

  He actually has lost his mojo more in Goldmember.

• 12:41Speaker 03

  It's interracial dating.

• 12:42Stavros Halkias?

  Because, yeah, because, yeah, for whatever, yeah, because.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 12:45Stavros Halkias?

  But the first two are.

• 12:46Speaker 04

  Which is the one where he's got the card?

• 12:48Speaker 03

  That's the first one.

• 12:49Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 12:50Speaker 03

  That was.

• 12:50Speaker 04

  Also amazing.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  I mean, amazing. It's the bits in that.

• 12:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:54Speaker 03

  Also, what fucks up Austin Powers for me is like the same thing when you find out Eddie Murphy was supposed to be in Ghostbusters. You find out Colin, Mike Myers wrote Scott Evil for Colin Quinn.

• 13:05Stavros Halkias?

  Which is so funny. I didn't know that.

• 13:06Speaker 03

  It makes so much more sense. He turned it down.

• 13:08Stavros Halkias?

  Colin Quinn was like, I don't wanna be a part of this gay ass movie.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  I think what he told me is he was like, I don't know, I got something going on. And Mike Myers was like, I wanna put you in this movie. He's like, nah, I don't know. But it would have been so much funnier.

• 13:21Stavros Halkias?

  It would have been a lot.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  As a thirty year old guy from Brooklyn being like, I don't know, I love you, dad.

• 13:25Stavros Halkias?

  It makes so much, the character makes so much more sense if he's older.

• 13:29Speaker 03

  If he's like, I can just go get my gun, come down here, we shoot them both.

• 13:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:32Speaker 03

  Like, that's so much funnier to me.

• 13:34Stavros Halkias?

  Do you think if now, would we have ever gotten Robot Chicken without Seth Green's juice?

• 13:41Speaker 03

  He was doing fine. Seth Green was in Airborne, the rollerblading movie.

• 13:45Stavros Halkias?

  Was he in comedy movies before Austin Powers? I think he was in that teen movie. He was on Buffy.

• 13:49Speaker 03

  He was on Buffy, but he was doing shit. Seth Green had been working.

• 13:52Stavros Halkias?

  We were using the N word. But was he, was he like a comedy guy before that?

• 13:55Speaker 03

  He was what?

• 13:56Stavros Halkias?

  I feel like he's, he's that teen movie where he's pretending to be like a Sagalow style white rapper.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:02Stavros Halkias?

  Can you tell him?

• 14:03Speaker 03

  Don't put Special K.

• 14:04Stavros Halkias?

  Can you tell him to stop rapping so much?

• 14:06Speaker 03

  I will. I'll pull the reins.

• 14:08Stavros Halkias?

  Can you tell him to just be like, look Sagalow, one a week max.

• 14:11Speaker 03

  I need, I need your Caesar Milanum. I go, hey.

• 14:16Speaker 03

  Too many bars. You get thirty two bars a month.

• 14:19Stavros Halkias?

  It's so awesome. He legit wants to be a white rapper. I didn't know this was happening. Dude, he's the best. He is good.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  He's good.

• 14:25Stavros Halkias?

  Technically good, but you gotta dull those out slower.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  Yeah. Distribution.

• 14:31Stavros Halkias?

  Just from a friend.

• 14:32Speaker 03

  Friend to friend.

• 14:33Stavros Halkias?

  I'm rooting for him.

• 14:35Speaker 03

  Oh, but you're talking about Can't Hardly Wait.

• 14:37Stavros Halkias?

  Can't Hardly Wait.

• 14:38Speaker 03

  Great movie.

• 14:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I feel like he was like a, a supporting comedic, like teen. Yeah, but not like an over the top comedy guy. No, probably not. Yeah, yeah.

• 14:49Speaker 03

  But Robot Chicken rules. So do you think that happens because of Austin Powers?

• 14:54Stavros Halkias?

  He's got a lot of juice. I'm saying if, if you're not Scott Evil, do you have the juice?

• 14:59Speaker 04

  Probably not. They wouldn't trust him.

• 15:01Stavros Halkias?

  So unfortunately for Colin, you know.

• 15:03Speaker 03

  We would have got a couple more seasons of Tough Crowd.

• 15:05Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, that's interesting. Honestly, I would rather have Colin done it. And Robot Chicken really is the thing that you watch when the thing on Adult Swim that you actually wanted to watch was over.

• 15:15Speaker 03

  American Dad's over.

• 15:16Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, I'll watch seven minutes of fucking.

• 15:19Speaker 03

  It's fun.

• 15:19Stavros Halkias?

  Robot Chicken while I'm fucking.

• 15:21Speaker 03

  I'll watch Optimus Prime, you know?

• 15:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, in therapy?

• 15:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 15:25Speaker 04

  I don't know why.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  I was touched. I want to go back and watch Goldmember though, to see Beyonce have no sexual chemistry.

• 15:33Stavros Halkias?

  You should watch it and report back. And honestly, we all thought, we watched it on the bus. It was the final movie we watched, the end of the tour.

• 15:40Speaker 04

  The driver too?

• 15:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, the driver, the driver.

• 15:43Speaker 03

  What's going on, man?

• 15:47Stavros Halkias?

  The cops are like, so you were watching Goldmember?

• 15:52Speaker 03

  There's no sexual chemistry.

• 15:53Stavros Halkias?

  80 dead.

• 15:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, fucking Stobbs is gonna get Tracy Morgan, but, but it's by a company with no money.

• 16:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, fuck, that sucks.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  They're gonna sue you?

• 16:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:05Speaker 03

  They're like, we got him.

• 16:06Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, dude.

• 16:07Speaker 04

  I've been loving these, these dash cam videos of the Seat guy truck drivers.

• 16:12Stavros Halkias?

  I haven't been following, what's going on?

• 16:14Speaker 04

  Oh man, there's like three accidents now where, the first one was hilarious. It's like the Seat guy just tries to make a U-turn on the highway.

• 16:20Stavros Halkias?

  That's crazy.

• 16:23Speaker 04

  And then his buddy is just in the truck for some reason. I didn't know you were allowed to bring your friend with you.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  Overseas truck driving, from what I've watched on the internet?

• 16:30Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:31Speaker 03

  It's a buddy system.

• 16:32Speaker 04

  Well, they, they do that here. There's a Seat guy and he's like just trying to make an illegal U-turn on the highway. And, um.

• 16:39Stavros Halkias?

  The highway?

• 16:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, and he turns from the right-hand lane on the, and then the, a minivan comes through and decapitates you, like the whole family. And it goes under and he's just like.

• 16:52Stavros Halkias?

  He keeps going?

• 16:54Speaker 03

  It didn't hit the side. Tardos, buddy.

• 16:57Speaker 04

  No, and there's been a couple more where they just kill like a hundred people. Yeah, in a big pileup.

• 17:04Stavros Halkias?

  Just why, just?

• 17:05Speaker 04

  I think, I don't know, you've met Sikh guys, they're all like just so chill.

• 17:09Stavros Halkias?

  They are pretty chill.

• 17:10Speaker 04

  I think they're maybe too chill to drive a semi.

• 17:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's true, they are chill, yeah.

• 17:14Speaker 03

  Aren't those, is it, are they the ones that carry the swords?

• 17:18Stavros Halkias?

  The dagger, yes.

• 17:18Speaker 03

  Dag, it's a dagger.

• 17:20Stavros Halkias?

  Every Sikh guy is a warrior.

• 17:21Speaker 04

  You know what I found out recently, you know Yomini guys, they have that thing in their belt?

• 17:25Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-mm.

• 17:26Speaker 04

  It's a, it's a sword, I thought it was a paintbrush.

• 17:28Speaker 03

  In case they just had to bust out an oil?

• 17:30Speaker 04

  It looks like a paintbrush.

• 17:31Stavros Halkias?

  Or baste some chicken.

• 17:32Speaker 04

  If you look at, yeah.

• 17:33Stavros Halkias?

  I was, I was trying to baste a roast recently and I didn't have a brush, I was pissed off, dude.

• 17:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, well that's why they got that thing on there.

• 17:41Stavros Halkias?

  I would love to have a brush.

• 17:42Speaker 03

  You wanna glaze something?

• 17:43Stavros Halkias?

  I wanted to do an egg wash over a fucking, I made some Greek yogurt bagels and I had no paintbrush, it pissed me off. So I might start doing that shit.

• 17:49Speaker 04

  You're getting to, get into painting?

• 17:51Stavros Halkias?

  I get into painting through egg washes and buttering things.

• 17:55Speaker 03

  Have you watched Stavros watercolor of fucking biscuits? It's insane.

• 18:00Speaker 04

  Just going to Home Depot to get the long roller to do a buffet?

• 18:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, I can see it.

• 18:06Stavros Halkias?

  Buttering my clothes buttered.

• 18:08Speaker 04

  At, at a restaurant while it's coming to you from the kitchen?

• 18:12Speaker 03

  Whoa, sir, sir, sir, you're messing with my balance.

• 18:14Speaker 04

  You're just hitting the expo from your booth?

• 18:17Speaker 03

  What I like is Stavros goes to the action.

• 18:20Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Um, so they have a sword, huh?

• 18:24Speaker 04

  Yomini guys, they have, well Sikhs do.

• 18:26Stavros Halkias?

  Sikhs have a dagger.

• 18:27Speaker 03

  Where do they keep it?

• 18:28Stavros Halkias?

  I think like here, they got it on.

• 18:30Speaker 03

  Just that thing on them?

• 18:30Speaker 04

  From under.

• 18:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's.

• 18:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that would be cool.

• 18:33Speaker 03

  Or in their sleeve?

• 18:34Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:35Speaker 03

  That's, yeah, it's like a James Bond villain.

• 18:38Stavros Halkias?

  That is, yeah.

• 18:38Speaker 03

  Or a Austin Powers villain.

• 18:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Will Ferrell, and he was wearing a turban, wasn't he?

• 18:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, he was wearing a fez.

• 18:46Stavros Halkias?

  Fez.

• 18:47Speaker 03

  With one of those fucking caps.

• 18:49Stavros Halkias?

  What was it, what, why did, so there, why did the Shriners, who are the Shriners and why did they have fezes? Cause fezes is Morocco, right?

• 18:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's like a pretty small country.

• 18:59Speaker 04

  And then they drive the tiny cars, I only know the jokes from The Simpsons, I don't know the actuals.

• 19:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, me too, that's the only, that's the only.

• 19:05Speaker 03

  Shriners, is that the one with the, I thought that's the one with the kids?

• 19:08Speaker 04

  There used to be three of them, and then the youngest one just murdered his father.

• 19:13Speaker 03

  Which?

• 19:14Speaker 04

  The Shriners, there was Carl and Rob.

• 19:17Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no, no, Shriver.

• 19:21Speaker 04

  And the youngest one, I think.

• 19:22Speaker 03

  I thought you were talking about those kids.

• 19:24Stavros Halkias?

  Call Reiner.

• 19:25Speaker 04

  Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  In my mind, I thought you were talking about the sick kids that come on. Who are those commercials? Those are Shriners, right?

• 19:33Speaker 04

  Didn't we talk about that at one point? Cause they're, yes, they're sick kids and then they had, that's St. Jude's Hospital.

• 19:38Speaker 03

  That's who I thought, Kev, you call Reiner.

• 19:40Speaker 04

  They had, they had one of the guys, one of the kids, like, was this amazing presenter?

• 19:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:45Speaker 04

  And so it came off like it was very, like, uncanny watching this boy who's, like, disabled be like, "We need all the support."

• 19:52Speaker 03

  Dude, he still does it.

• 19:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, right, yeah.

• 19:53Stavros Halkias?

  He still does cursuring, he goes, "This Christmas."

• 19:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:56Speaker 03

  He's got like that voice that's like slightly handicapped.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:59Stavros Halkias?

  Where he's like, "Don't forget this Christmas."

• 20:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:01Speaker 03

  And you go, "I don't, I don't like this."

• 20:03Speaker 04

  But he could be doing, he could be doing the Golden Globes.

• 20:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, they should.

• 20:07Speaker 04

  He's like Barack Obama. He has that level of charisma.

• 20:10Stavros Halkias?

  Real quick, what have you been typing over there? Cause you look like you're doing stuff. We asked eight fucking questions. God forbid you look up one thing.

• 20:16Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 20:17Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, what, wait, what Shriver's?

• 20:19Speaker 03

  Shriners. What Shriver?

• 20:23Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, what Shriver's?

• 20:24Speaker 04

  No, I looked up, I looked up the Will Ferrell Fez thing.

• 20:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's the thing you looked up? The thing we knew about? Shriners, you motherfucker. What are the Shriners?

• 20:34Speaker 04

  Austin Powers?

• 20:35Stavros Halkias?

  No!

• 20:37Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck have you been doing?

• 20:38Speaker 04

  It's from, it's The Simpsons.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  I don't want to say this.

• 20:43Stavros Halkias?

  Shriver's, God, you're a fucking idiot.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  I looked up Maria Shriver.

• 20:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. Shout out to her.

• 20:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, that kid though, you're right. He does have Obama like.

• 20:52Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 20:53Stavros Halkias?

  "If you could save me."

• 20:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:55Stavros Halkias?

  "We need all the help we can get."

• 20:59Speaker 04

  And he's in like one of those high wheelchairs?

• 21:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:01Speaker 04

  Where they just, they stack them up?

• 21:03Stavros Halkias?

  I can reach stuff.

• 21:03Speaker 04

  That seems unsafe.

• 21:04Stavros Halkias?

  To be that stacked?

• 21:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're always like way up here and then it's like half the wheelchair is like battery, I guess. Yeah.

• 21:11Speaker 03

  Half man, half machine.

• 21:12Stavros Halkias?

  You're kind of strapped in almost.

• 21:14Speaker 04

  I don't know why they didn't do that from the beginning with wheelchair. I changed my mind. They should have big wheels and they should all be, eye level should be six, two, if you're in a wheelchair.

• 21:22Speaker 03

  Oh, that's, that's very smart.

• 21:23Speaker 04

  People would respect disabled people more. We wouldn't have needed COVID to respect disabled.

• 21:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, cuz you could be, you could crush a foot with your big ass.

• 21:31Speaker 04

  You should be like the black guy from Twisted Metal.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:34Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know.

• 21:35Speaker 04

  Axel. He's got, he's a black guy with wheels as arms.

• 21:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:39Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, he has wheels as arms?

• 21:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:41Stavros Halkias?

  There's no Sweet Tooth, the clown.

• 21:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, the ice cream truck one.

• 21:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's the most popular from that.

• 21:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's a, he's icon, he's definitely an icon. They had, they made a Twisted Metal on Peacock. Shout out to Mike Mitchell, friend of the pod, he's on it.

• 21:55Speaker 04

  A show?

• 21:55Stavros Halkias?

  Play Stu. He doesn't feel like he's in the games. It's the guy named Stu.

• 22:01Speaker 04

  Well, they have, they made a game in a long time.

• 22:04Stavros Halkias?

  But they made a show.

• 22:04Speaker 03

  That was like the first PlayStation game, like PlayStation Wallet, you can play Twisted Metal.

• 22:08Stavros Halkias?

  It scared me. I was literally like, he's fucking evil, his head's on fire. Cuz I know Sweet Tooth, his, his fucking backstory is that like, his head was on fire cuz of Satan or something and then he got, he got cured and the, the priest who cured him or whoever cured him was like, okay.

• 22:25Speaker 04

  They changed it up cuz I played Twisted Metal one and two and then Black and Black was like the Goth one.

• 22:31Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 22:31Speaker 04

  Where they're all in a mental institution.

• 22:33Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting. Well, he, what happened to him is he gets the cure and then they're like, alright, you can have the cure now. The only, the only thing is you can't kill anyone else. And then Sweet Tooth was like, so I fucking killed him. I can never not kill. And I was like, ah! As a child, I was like, oh my god, this man is pure evil.

• 22:55Speaker 03

  How could you pick him?

• 22:56Stavros Halkias?

  He was cured and he killed the guy who saved him?

• 22:58Speaker 03

  Would you have friends pick him? And you're like, don't do that.

• 23:00Stavros Halkias?

  I'd be like scared as fuck. And honestly, I was, I was not like young either. I was like 12 or 13.

• 23:05Speaker 04

  This was last year.

• 23:07Speaker 03

  Were your dads disappointed by your fear?

• 23:12Speaker 03

  What the fuck are you afraid of, dude? It's a clown.

• 23:14Speaker 04

  I remember in the second one, you could blow up, you could blow up the Eiffel Tower.

• 23:18Speaker 03

  Really?

• 23:18Speaker 04

  That was cool in the second one, yeah.

• 23:20Stavros Halkias?

  Take that, France.

• 23:21Speaker 04

  There was a trick to do it. Yeah, no, that was the best part.

• 23:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 23:24Speaker 04

  It's like there was a code, a cheat code.

• 23:26Speaker 03

  What did we ever do to anybody? They always get picked on to the point that they're like, we lost World War II very badly.

• 23:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, but they like gave up World War II and then the Nazis came, yeah, the Nazis came in and the British were like, please fight the Nazis. And the French were like, no.

• 23:42Stavros Halkias?

  The French were holding their assholes open. They were in the middle of bending over and being like, put it in here.

• 23:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, they, because of the-

• 23:48Speaker 03

  You can goose step right into my battle.

• 23:50Stavros Halkias?

  Put as much schnitzel in my asshole as you want.

• 23:53Speaker 04

  Europe would have been fucking lost. If it was, it was, was it, uh, Dunkirk?

• 23:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:59Speaker 04

  And that, you know, they could have, the Germans could have just fucking killed the rest of the British, but it was the French that like gave up before that.

• 24:05Stavros Halkias?

  Pussy ass motherfuckers.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 24:07Stavros Halkias?

  And then they just became.

• 24:08Speaker 04

  Then they became Nazis.

• 24:09Stavros Halkias?

  They were like, ah, we're, I guess we're Nazis now.

• 24:11Speaker 03

  Do you want our passion?

• 24:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's why all their shit is still there. That's why all their cool shit isn't bombed. England had a bunch of cool shit, but they were like, fuck you, Germans. I do respect, the more, honestly, the older I get, the more I respect the, except for, you know.

• 24:23Speaker 04

  Jimmy Seville.

• 24:24Stavros Halkias?

  Except for Jimmy Seville, Gary Glitter.

• 24:25Speaker 04

  About Jerry Seville and Gary Glitter, I respect the British.

• 24:28Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no, that's not what makes me respect.

• 24:30Speaker 03

  They're focused on a goal.

• 24:32Stavros Halkias?

  I do not respect them because of their two notable pedophiles.

• 24:35Speaker 04

  That seems to be what you said.

• 24:37Speaker 03

  I'm here with, with Nick and I are picking up.

• 24:39Stavros Halkias?

  I don't really respect.

• 24:40Speaker 04

  You said the only mark against the British is that, is putting Beyonce in the beloved Austin Powers series.

• 24:47Speaker 03

  In a sexual role.

• 24:48Speaker 04

  Which is ruined the sexual element of the movie.

• 24:52Stavros Halkias?

  I stand by that.

• 24:53Speaker 04

  When it was a chain smoking British whore, I said, I could jack off to this.

• 24:56Stavros Halkias?

  I stand by that sentiment. It did ruin the sexual element of Austin Powers.

• 25:00Speaker 04

  When it was a raspy skeleton covered in nicoderm patches, I could jack off to that.

• 25:06Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, fucking both the other ones.

• 25:08Speaker 04

  A red bone woman?

• 25:09Stavros Halkias?

  No, no. Beyonce is hot.

• 25:11Speaker 04

  What is this, Pocahontas?

• 25:13Stavros Halkias?

  It's not about her body, it's about her attitude.

• 25:15Speaker 03

  Classic out of my face.

• 25:16Stavros Halkias?

  And I would like to say both Heather Graham and, uh, the other bitch, Heather, who's the first one?

• 25:21Speaker 04

  Elizabeth.

• 25:21Stavros Halkias?

  Elizabeth.

• 25:22Speaker 03

  Hurley.

• 25:22Speaker 04

  Hurley, yeah.

• 25:23Stavros Halkias?

  Both of them are also hot, okay?

• 25:27Speaker 04

  When I see her, it makes me wanna Elizabeth Hurley. I'll start Elizabeth Hurley.

• 25:33Stavros Halkias?

  Hurley?

• 25:33Speaker 04

  Cause she's so disgusting to me.

• 25:35Stavros Halkias?

  Cause she's a woman?

• 25:36Speaker 04

  Fuck, no.

• 25:37Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you're gay?

• 25:38Speaker 04

  No. That's what you also do whenever you see pussy. Do Elizabeth hurl?

• 25:42Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 25:43Speaker 03

  You show me that pussy, I'm about to Elizabeth Hurley.

• 25:48Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 25:50Stavros Halkias?

  Nick's gonna go have sex with him. Sorry, guys. Nick's boyfriend, Nick's boyfriend is outside.

• 25:55Speaker 04

  There was women outside.

• 25:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's why I left.

• 25:56Speaker 04

  There was women out there.

• 25:59Speaker 03

  He's backing the Sikhs are after him.

• 26:02Speaker 04

  There was no guys.

• 26:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:04Speaker 04

  We cut the camera, Nick sucked eight guys off and then we cut it back on.

• 26:07Speaker 03

  He swallowed.

• 26:08Stavros Halkias?

  I'll just go back and make it look like a cut, please. Mark, mark that.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  He got acid reflux because of all the cum.

• 26:21Speaker 03

  You can be perfect.

• 26:23Speaker 04

  God damn. Yeah. So, yep, Austin Bowers, first to hold up.

• 26:28Stavros Halkias?

  This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone. It's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month. Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STOV.

• 27:13Stavros Halkias?

  Terms apply.

• 27:14Speaker 00

  Hey Richmond, Mark Smith, Midas Richmond, 2026. We have been doing what we do for 29 years. Total car care, total community care. In 2026, we are donating $365,000. A thousand dollars a day to the nonprofits we've historically supported. Gooch and Care, Shalom Farms, St. Joseph's Villa, Ask, the Colonial Heights Food Pantry, everybody we've helped over the years. These are important things making a big impact in our society right now. Total car care, total community care. That is Midas of Richmond.

• 27:45Speaker 04

  I don't remember what else we were fucking talking about. What's going on with you, Dan?

• 27:47Speaker 03

  We're like due to, we're due to flee.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  Are you gonna be?

• 27:50Speaker 03

  Cause I'm Mom Donnie. What you both did. You both, you both brought him into my city.

• 27:57Speaker 04

  I guess he's.

• 27:57Speaker 03

  You know I'm an Eric Adams guy.

• 27:59Speaker 04

  He's Jeffrey Epstein's son? Did you see?

• 28:03Speaker 03

  They go, why are Bill Clinton, Jeffrey Epstein at his bris? And you go, he's Muslim.

• 28:08Speaker 04

  Dude, MAGA is just saying anything now. It's just any, I mean, that's crazy.

• 28:13Stavros Halkias?

  They were sending, they were sending.

• 28:16Speaker 04

  Oh, Mom Donnie's dad, pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. What's that based on? Absolutely nothing.

• 28:23Speaker 03

  Did you ever see Luke Who's Talking? Well, Jeffrey Epstein was the John Travolta character. That came in and raised Zoron.

• 28:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. No, John Travolta would have been, his real dad would be John Travolta.

• 28:34Speaker 03

  No.

• 28:35Stavros Halkias?

  The old guy would be.

• 28:36Speaker 03

  He's the real dad.

• 28:37Stavros Halkias?

  He's the real dad.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, the old guy. So Epstein would be.

• 28:40Stavros Halkias?

  They're saying he's, they're saying it's actually his real dad.

• 28:42Speaker 03

  Oh, he's like DNA. So he is the old guy from Just Shoot Me.

• 28:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, the old guy from Just Shoot Me.

• 28:47Speaker 03

  Hats off Christie Alley at the beginning of Look Who's Talking. Which is, that's the whole opening scene is him nuttin' in her. Isn't that crazy?

• 28:54Stavros Halkias?

  Is it nut, is a cum shot?

• 28:56Speaker 03

  The whole opening scene of Look Who's Talking is just him busting in Christie Alley.

• 28:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. And then you see the jizz go in the pussy.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  His ass quivering was in the original.

• 29:06Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck.

• 29:07Speaker 04

  Does the jizz have sunglasses on when he's talking?

• 29:11Stavros Halkias?

  This cool jizz. That's the one you know is gonna make it.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  It's Bruce Willis.

• 29:14Speaker 04

  They offered Colin the role of the jizz.

• 29:17Speaker 03

  He goes, you know, I don't know, I'd prefer probably, you know, running down a thigh.

• 29:21Speaker 04

  Forty-five minutes of jizz explaining the Declaration of Independence?

• 29:26Speaker 03

  You know, we the people, which is interesting because they had people working for him.

• 29:31Speaker 03

  This fucking, this sperm knows a lot about American history.

• 29:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's called Talking Cum.

• 29:38Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah. That, good movie, Look Who's Talking, by the way.

• 29:42Speaker 03

  Great franchise. They moved it to the dogs. They made the dogs sentient beings.

• 29:47Speaker 04

  I never saw Look Who's Talking.

• 29:49Stavros Halkias?

  I remember that as a youth. Uh, yeah, that was Christie Alley's like.

• 29:53Speaker 03

  What's funny is the second one, the little girl is Roseanne. So I would, I would rather them, if they reboot that, they better re, keep Roseanne. And let her go off script.

• 30:03Stavros Halkias?

  Let her go off script, yeah, yeah.

• 30:04Speaker 04

  Well, I'm just confused. I thought you meant a young Roseanne was playing a girl.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  No, no, no. She was the voiceover of a baby.

• 30:11Stavros Halkias?

  Bruce Willis was the first.

• 30:12Speaker 03

  And then he came back for the sequel and his little sister was voiced by Roseanne.

• 30:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, Bruce Willis has like really bad Alzheimer's.

• 30:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 30:20Speaker 04

  So how about just filming him in a wheelchair, wherever he is?

• 30:24Speaker 03

  I bet one of the kids.

• 30:24Speaker 04

  And then having a baby do the voice.

• 30:30Speaker 03

  That's a trillion dollar idea.

• 30:31Stavros Halkias?

  Eight seven.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  I don't want to.

• 30:35Stavros Halkias?

  He's like this.

• 30:35Speaker 04

  And it's called Help Who's Talking.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  I want pudding. I want pudding.

• 30:46Speaker 03

  I have a poop in my pants and I want pudding.

• 30:51Speaker 03

  And Demi Moore signed off on this? The kids and Demi signed off on this.

• 30:56Stavros Halkias?

  I believe they did.

• 30:59Speaker 03

  Help Who's Talking is so fucking funny.

• 31:03Speaker 04

  I think it's his wife that's doing it.

• 31:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's honestly, if you're, look, it's not good. But like, rich as hell with dementia, it's like, you get to be a baby.

• 31:14Speaker 04

  Well, I think about Jack Nicholson all the time. Every day I check to see if he's dead yet. Cause if he's not, he's just like in a room somewhere with tits, watching movies.

• 31:21Stavros Halkias?

  Do you see when he pops up? But he eats like fucking meatball subs, gets his dick sucked.

• 31:25Speaker 03

  Do you see when he pops up and his hair is fucking wide and he's like?

• 31:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. It's kinda the best way to die. Like he, and by the way, going senile, it's nicer than knowing what's going on.

• 31:35Speaker 03

  Well.

• 31:36Stavros Halkias?

  You don't worry about the future.

• 31:37Speaker 04

  I think the best way to die is probably being killed by an Israeli F-35 while you're shooting up a synagogue.

• 31:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. That could probably be the best.

• 31:48Stavros Halkias?

  I think Mullins' views are not representative of Stavi's world.

• 31:52Speaker 04

  After that.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  Then it's rich.

• 31:54Speaker 04

  Yeah. Screaming, screaming talk beer while shooting up a synagogue. And then you get drone striked.

• 32:02Speaker 03

  The, the equalizer about dementia is everybody gets to be Bruce Willis.

• 32:07Speaker 04

  Is that the premise of the movie?

• 32:08Stavros Halkias?

  Of the equalizer?

• 32:09Speaker 03

  Is he, yeah, it's dementia.

• 32:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 32:11Speaker 03

  It's actually.

• 32:12Stavros Halkias?

  Denzel forgets where he is.

• 32:13Speaker 03

  Denzel's just a regular black guy that went crazy. Or he just lost it and they told him that he was a badass. Do you know where the hell I am?

• 32:22Speaker 03

  He goes, you're not my son. You know where I am, Jake? Where the hell am I? You know where I am? I don't know where I am, Jake. I'm very lost.

• 32:31Stavros Halkias?

  In a different movie, saying a different character?

• 32:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:33Stavros Halkias?

  Where's Jake? He's at Home Depot where he works. Where's Jake?

• 32:39Speaker 04

  Where's Jake?

• 32:39Speaker 03

  I didn't know you liked to get wet. Maurice, do not talk to me like that.

• 32:45Speaker 03

  He's just sitting in the checkout, girl. I didn't know you liked to get wet.

• 32:48Speaker 04

  What's the one where he's the bodyguard for the little girl?

• 32:50Speaker 03

  Uh, Man on Fire.

• 32:51Speaker 04

  Man on Fire, yeah.

• 32:52Speaker 03

  I wish you had more time, but he's insane. He's just crap.

• 32:56Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to Creasy.

• 32:57Speaker 04

  That movie's good.

• 32:58Speaker 03

  Creasy Bear.

• 32:58Stavros Halkias?

  That movie's incredible. Dude, that movie's incredible and the like la- like if you really want to just put your nuts on the table, just go ahead and skip the first hour.

• 33:07Speaker 04

  Of the Man on Fire?

• 33:08Stavros Halkias?

  Just watch.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  Watch him go off.

• 33:10Stavros Halkias?

  Just watch him do revenge, dude. Although the, him and fucking, uh, the scenes with him and Christopher Walken.

• 33:16Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:16Stavros Halkias?

  So fucking good.

• 33:18Speaker 03

  That's where Christopher Walken though gave up. He started becoming the character.

• 33:21Speaker 04

  I told you, my name isn't Jake. I've told you a million times.

• 33:26Stavros Halkias?

  We were in the CIA together.

• 33:27Speaker 03

  Does your daughter know you're out of the house?

• 33:31Speaker 03

  You wandered down here. I can show you the ring cam.

• 33:35Speaker 04

  You're telling me a little girl went missing.

• 33:38Speaker 03

  And you're gonna fight the cartel. You work in the lumberyard of Home Depot.

• 33:45Speaker 03

  He's just a mishmash.

• 33:48Speaker 03

  Jake? He's doing the Jake thing again.

• 33:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. What if I am the guy who knows who Jake is?

• 33:56Speaker 03

  You might have been a former enemy and now I'm keeping secrets from you. Yeah, Christopher Walken's like Pacino. He gave up in one movie. Like, I forget which movie it is.

• 34:07Stavros Halkias?

  It's not Man on Fire. He's good in Man on Fire.

• 34:09Speaker 04

  I don't think Pacino actually gave up. I, I was, I rewatched The Irishman the other day.

• 34:13Stavros Halkias?

  He's great in that.

• 34:14Speaker 04

  And, well, he's great in everything, but I watched the like special features for The Irishman and they have like a round table that's like De Niro and Pacino and, um...

• 34:22Stavros Halkias?

  Pesci?

• 34:23Speaker 04

  Pesci, yeah. And Scorsese and they're all talking.

• 34:25Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck, yeah.

• 34:25Speaker 04

  And I, I guess I've never seen Al Pacino just hanging out, but he's like, kinda like shy and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, oh, that is a performance. I thought he just did himself, but, but no.

• 34:35Stavros Halkias?

  The best part about him is he's still nutting inside a 20, whatever. You're like...

• 34:39Speaker 03

  He just had a baby, was he?

• 34:40Stavros Halkias?

  He had a, he just had a fucking kid.

• 34:41Speaker 03

  28-year-old.

• 34:42Stavros Halkias?

  It's crazy. You're still nuttin', raw dogging?

• 34:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:46Stavros Halkias?

  He was talking about how he texts his son. He's like, sometimes I text him. He's a fucking baby.

• 34:54Speaker 03

  That's crazy. When you grow up and you're like, why did you let him have me?

• 34:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Oh dude, you gotta be so mad at your mom.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  Because by the way, he's not even gonna touch the estate.

• 35:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I wonder how many kids, check how many kids.

• 35:06Speaker 03

  What's the Pacino range?

• 35:08Stavros Halkias?

  De Niro's range is long. I think he also recently had a kind of a kid. Uh, but Pacino, I don't know.

• 35:15Speaker 04

  But all his kids are like, they're black, right?

• 35:17Stavros Halkias?

  Seven kids.

• 35:18Speaker 04

  Aren't De Niro's kids all black?

• 35:19Stavros Halkias?

  I think, I believe so.

• 35:20Speaker 04

  So they don't expect to have a father or anything.

• 35:23Stavros Halkias?

  I think they might expect.

• 35:25Speaker 03

  That's why I did it. He goes, that's why I did it.

• 35:26Speaker 04

  It's okay in that situation.

• 35:28Speaker 03

  He goes, you know what? I'm playing chess.

• 35:31Speaker 03

  I have a lot of kids. They don't expect me to be there.

• 35:35Speaker 03

  It's kind of a move. No one knew, that's why I was doing it.

• 35:39Speaker 03

  So hats off.

• 35:40Stavros Halkias?

  I don't like them.

• 35:41Speaker 03

  And then I'm gone.

• 35:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Pacino, seven kids with who?

• 35:49Speaker 04

  Well, that's a lot of kids. Seven.

• 35:51Speaker 03

  Seven's tough.

• 35:52Stavros Halkias?

  I bet it's less than, I bet Pacino has four. Okay.

• 35:55Speaker 03

  What are the age ranges though?

• 35:57Speaker 04

  Four to seventy-three.

• 35:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, like two years old, yeah, like.

• 36:01Stavros Halkias?

  The oldest is born eighty-nine.

• 36:03Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 36:03Stavros Halkias?

  Julie Marie Pacino. Thirty-six. And.

• 36:07Speaker 04

  That's, that's quick math.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 36:09Speaker 04

  Oh, oh, you cheated.

• 36:10Speaker 03

  Oh, that's funny. I had the same thing.

• 36:12Speaker 04

  You're pretending you're good at math.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  I was trying to think of which way he did it, where I was like, did he start at twenty twenty-six or what?

• 36:17Stavros Halkias?

  I was born in eighty-nine.

• 36:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:19Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. Then we got Anton James Pacino.

• 36:22Speaker 04

  Anton James.

• 36:23Stavros Halkias?

  Two thousand and one, twins with Olivia Rose Pacino. And then Roman Pacino, of course, twenty twenty-three. Roman is the little guy? Yeah. Who's the, who do you have this first kid with?

• 36:34Speaker 04

  A baby shouldn't be named Roman.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  No.

• 36:36Speaker 04

  The fuck?

• 36:36Speaker 03

  That should be, if anything, given to you in the older age.

• 36:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, you should have to kill your older brother Roman to take his name.

• 36:42Speaker 03

  Roman the first.

• 36:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:44Stavros Halkias?

  Roman Pacino is a great name though.

• 36:45Speaker 03

  Roman Pacino's great.

• 36:46Stavros Halkias?

  That's a fucking good ass name.

• 36:48Speaker 03

  It's also setting him up that that kid could suck.

• 36:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:52Speaker 04

  Oh, for sure.

• 36:52Speaker 03

  Growing up the.

• 36:53Speaker 04

  He's gonna top out at four eleven.

• 36:55Stavros Halkias?

  Well, he's.

• 36:56Speaker 04

  He's gonna be a white rapper.

• 36:57Speaker 03

  He's gonna be like, he's gonna be like a white rapper, but also.

• 37:00Stavros Halkias?

  Tiny.

• 37:01Speaker 03

  But also Wolverine.

• 37:02Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  So he's gonna be hairy and small.

• 37:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:05Speaker 03

  And just ferocious.

• 37:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, he'll, he'll do nothing until he hits fifty and he'll open a bar across the street.

• 37:11Speaker 03

  You've never been to Pacino's?

• 37:15Stavros Halkias?

  Some guy fifty years from now, opening a bar called Pacino's. His dad's been dead for four years.

• 37:22Speaker 03

  We put on Serpico.

• 37:24Stavros Halkias?

  He doesn't even talk like that. He takes voice training lessons, like he's trans to don't, like his dad.

• 37:30Speaker 03

  Can you teach me how to speak like him? I'm watching his movies. I said, we got a drink special, cause my dad nutted in my mom.

• 37:41Stavros Halkias?

  He's gotta go to governors and find some fucking dumb Italian that does a Pacino impression.

• 37:45Speaker 04

  Real trans people take voice training?

• 37:47Stavros Halkias?

  I believe so, yeah.

• 37:48Speaker 04

  That seems like the biggest scam. Well, cause that's gotta be a new business.

• 37:51Speaker 03

  That's my side gig.

• 37:52Speaker 04

  That's gotta be a new business. And there's some, people are just tricking trans people into signing up for lessons they probably don't need.

• 37:58Stavros Halkias?

  I believe, cause you can't get a lower voice.

• 38:01Speaker 03

  I think about the scene with-

• 38:02Stavros Halkias?

  So even when you become, you look like a sex, if you had a deep ass voice, you'd train yourself to have a lower-

• 38:06Speaker 04

  But yeah, but they just go to somebody that's like, "No, I'm all like this."

• 38:10Speaker 03

  Well, I'm wondering is-

• 38:12Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know.

• 38:13Speaker 03

  Is it the scene where, have you ever seen the scene where Richard Pryor teaches Gene Wilder how to be cool in any which way but up, where he's like, "Yeah, now get bass in your voice." Is that what they do? Or they go like?

• 38:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, but the other way.

• 38:25Speaker 03

  But there's-

• 38:26Speaker 04

  No, it's like, it's like in Miss Congeniality, when Stanley Tucci teaches.

• 38:30Speaker 03

  Oh, cause I was thinking women transitioning to men and a guy goes, "Hey dude," and they go, "I can hear it."

• 38:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I think, I think the, the T does a lot of the work going that way.

• 38:40Speaker 03

  You're saying the opposite way. You gotta brighten it up.

• 38:43Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta brighten it up. Although I'm sure it would, I'm sure voice training, did you ever know, I feel like I, you would meet kids who would pretend to have a deep voice? And then one day it just stuck?

• 38:53Speaker 03

  I just always had, cause my mom has it.

• 38:55Stavros Halkias?

  I don't feel like you're, you know, there's nothing about you that's-

• 38:57Speaker 03

  I used to call my friends when I was a kid in fifth grade and be like, cause you'd call, you know, to see if they'd come out and hang out.

• 39:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  And I remember calling my friend Louis, Louis Condon. Shout out Louis, I hope you're all right.

• 39:08Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to Louis.

• 39:09Speaker 03

  And I called his house and his mom was like, I was like, "Is Louis there?" And she's like, "Who is this?" Like, you know, not know like a mom, like in a way that I've never heard.

• 39:19Speaker 04

  Oh, really?

• 39:20Speaker 03

  Being like, "Who is this?"

• 39:21Speaker 04

  She's just trying to fuck somebody on the phone. Your mom's, his mom's an Indian man.

• 39:28Speaker 03

  What are you doing later?

• 39:30Speaker 04

  Please come over to me.

• 39:32Stavros Halkias?

  Louis is busy.

• 39:34Speaker 03

  Are you looking for Louis or me? For you, sir. But, uh, I was like, oh no, it's Dan. And she was like, oh, I thought you were one of Louis's football coaches. I'm like, damn.

• 39:47Stavros Halkias?

  Did you ever use that? Did you ever do any hijinks?

• 39:49Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Phone pranks all the time. Pranking people.

• 39:52Speaker 04

  I used to hate that when, when you'd like to be telemarketers or something, they would call.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:56Speaker 04

  And they'd be like, ah, hi ma'am. Yeah, right. And you're like, no, I'm a ma'am, I'm a boy. And then I'd start, I'd start hissing into the receiver. I'm like, can you hear my penis?

• 40:08Speaker 03

  Sir, you're breaking up the phone. Are you peeing in the receiver?

• 40:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:12Speaker 03

  I would call Toys R Us to see if they had toys and then pick up on hold and go.

• 40:17Speaker 04

  But a child can do that. I don't know.

• 40:19Speaker 03

  And they go, ma'am.

• 40:20Speaker 04

  They send the cops to your house to arrest a pedophile?

• 40:23Speaker 03

  You're checking if they have Gambit? You're a pedophile. No one's searching for Gambit with the heavy leather jacket.

• 40:29Stavros Halkias?

  No respect. I loved Gambit.

• 40:31Speaker 03

  But I used to call Toys R Us and when they'd pick up.

• 40:33Speaker 04

  That's the Cajun X-Men?

• 40:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:36Stavros Halkias?

  Mo, Mo Cherie. What'd he say?

• 40:38Speaker 03

  Sex up, the sex stuff X-Men.

• 40:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. He would, he would throw, he would make a playing card on fire.

• 40:45Speaker 03

  But he was the king of edging because he wanted to fuck the lady that you couldn't touch.

• 40:49Speaker 04

  Rogue.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  Or she'd kill you.

• 40:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:51Speaker 03

  So he had to like have.

• 40:52Speaker 04

  I would do it anyways.

• 40:53Stavros Halkias?

  If you wore a condom, couldn't you fuck her?

• 40:56Speaker 03

  That's a great question.

• 40:58Stavros Halkias?

  Cause she wears gloves.

• 40:59Speaker 04

  She doesn't kill you immediately. It's like you have a.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  She sucks your power.

• 41:03Speaker 04

  Right.

• 41:03Stavros Halkias?

  She drains your life force.

• 41:04Speaker 04

  So if you bust like right away, you're good.

• 41:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you're gonna be like a prude.

• 41:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Bitch, fuck you.

• 41:11Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, zip.

• 41:12Speaker 03

  Professor X is telling someone that?

• 41:14Stavros Halkias?

  Swindexing your dick?

• 41:15Speaker 04

  That's awesome, dude. If that's your girlfriend, you could just nut immediately and be like, well, I'd die.

• 41:19Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you want me to die, bitch?

• 41:20Speaker 04

  I can't, I literally can't eat your pussy because I'll die.

• 41:23Stavros Halkias?

  Or my mouth will stop.

• 41:25Speaker 04

  You have to suck me off immediately.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  I'll melt like one of the fucking Nazis in Indiana Jones. If I suck your pussy.

• 41:32Stavros Halkias?

  But I feel like with a condom, you should be able to fuck her.

• 41:35Speaker 03

  Professor X is like, our only weakness is if you come fast.

• 41:41Speaker 04

  Ba da da da da now.

• 41:43Stavros Halkias?

  That's me shooting up.

• 41:46Stavros Halkias?

  It's the regular X-Men and then me just fucking putting on sweatpants shorts.

• 41:51Speaker 04

  What's the rumor Professor X liked all the, his mind is everywhere? So he's like in that place and then Rogue comes in and he turns around to see her and he's like, hey? And then it's just her pussy and tits all over the.

• 42:03Speaker 04

  And he's like, what's, what's going on?

• 42:08Stavros Halkias?

  For a second, it's like some fat old lady.

• 42:12Stavros Halkias?

  Right. But then it comes back stronger, she's sucking.

• 42:16Speaker 04

  The baseball bat turns into his dick.

• 42:19Speaker 03

  I should take this off.

• 42:22Stavros Halkias?

  But before he does, it's like his whole body going in and she's a giant and he's just being stuffed in her pussy. In the wheelchair.

• 42:30Speaker 03

  I'm in the chair. No, I'm in the chair.

• 42:34Speaker 04

  His shitty legs just being like, like wet spaghetti.

• 42:42Stavros Halkias?

  She's just fucking putting them in there, using them like a dildo.

• 42:45Speaker 03

  When he has that, when he has that helmet on, it's his search history.

• 42:48Speaker 04

  She's like, um, Tuesday is laundry day. He's like, uh, yeah.

• 42:54Speaker 03

  I just wanted to know where y'all keep your biscuits. Oh, you saw it with me Rogue. And then Storm comes in, but he's not sexually attracted to her.

• 43:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, right. It just says, it just says, cold members suck.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  Don't say the N-word. Don't say the N-word.

• 43:12Stavros Halkias?

  He says the N-word to the big red circle.

• 43:19Speaker 04

  And she's like, oh, should I come back? He's like, no, that's, I shouldn't say it.

• 43:25Speaker 04

  You're allowed in here.

• 43:26Stavros Halkias?

  It's just a reminder for myself.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm sorry, Storm.

• 43:32Speaker 03

  You weren't supposed to see that.

• 43:35Speaker 03

  Rogue didn't tell you about my fantasies.

• 43:38Speaker 04

  How about they're like, uh, Storm, can you go pick up groceries? And so she creates a hurricane so she can go loot the groceries.

• 43:45Speaker 03

  It's her waiting with a.

• 43:46Speaker 04

  We gave you money.

• 43:47Speaker 03

  It's her waiting with a door and all the doors, all the groceries.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  Professor, I brought in a TV. I didn't ask.

• 43:56Stavros Halkias?

  Why are there thirty flat screens in here?

• 43:59Speaker 03

  Why? Why did you get a bunch of Nokia cell phones?

• 44:03Speaker 03

  No one uses flip phones anymore.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  Bro, you startled me.

• 44:10Stavros Halkias?

  She was fucking sexy.

• 44:12Speaker 03

  She so, remember those cards? They used to jack off to the cards.

• 44:15Speaker 04

  So the cards?

• 44:16Speaker 03

  The X-Men cards?

• 44:17Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember the cards. This might be, this might be slightly generational.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a little bit older, a little before your time.

• 44:22Speaker 04

  My friend had X-Men cards.

• 44:24Speaker 03

  What's that?

• 44:24Speaker 04

  My friend had X-Men cards. Yeah, we're the same age.

• 44:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm trying to remember what the, I definitely was horny for the X-Men, but I don't know if I, if there was ever, if they ever made it to me jacking off to them. Was there ever, uh, maybe a, because the video game wasn't sexy.

• 44:43Speaker 04

  Well, the movie, what's her name plays the blue.

• 44:45Speaker 03

  Anna Paquin, she didn't do.

• 44:46Stavros Halkias?

  It wasn't the same thing.

• 44:47Speaker 04

  No, but who don't know the blue lady from the movie?

• 44:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 44:49Speaker 03

  Oh, Rebecca Romaine.

• 44:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, for sure.

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, Rebecca Romaine.

• 44:53Stavros Halkias?

  Definitely, I, I, there was, I believe there was footage of her getting into the, like, being body painted.

• 44:59Speaker 03

  Damn dude, I bet BTS did it for a young star.

• 45:01Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. Not only that, I'll tell you one further. I then, in my rotation, was body paint porn.

• 45:08Speaker 03

  Really?

• 45:08Stavros Halkias?

  Like there were.

• 45:09Speaker 03

  Well, Sports Illustrated did a whole thing for a couple of years there, the swimsuit edition, where girls were just naked with body paint on.

• 45:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:15Speaker 03

  Interesting.

• 45:16Stavros Halkias?

  There was a very specific.

• 45:17Speaker 04

  That'd be awesome if you're colorblind.

• 45:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:19Speaker 04

  It's just porn.

• 45:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, you go, oh, look at these naked ladies.

• 45:22Stavros Halkias?

  Their skin looks a little weird.

• 45:25Speaker 03

  Sure, I have dog eyes, but look at this fucking porn.

• 45:29Stavros Halkias?

  Dog eyes.

• 45:30Speaker 03

  Sure, I'm a.

• 45:31Stavros Halkias?

  If you're, if you're, you'd be able to smell like a dog. You'd be able to get dog scent.

• 45:36Speaker 04

  That's what I said, you can't, you're like anosmic now. You just don't care.

• 45:38Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, you can't smell at all.

• 45:39Speaker 04

  I didn't know that. I don't think you told me that.

• 45:42Speaker 03

  I've had it, had it for a while.

• 45:43Stavros Halkias?

  This was, you said it was COVID. I feel like this was before COVID, wasn't it?

• 45:45Speaker 03

  No, COVID's would have knocked it out. Smoking cigarettes severely dulled it.

• 45:49Speaker 04

  I, I, like, the couple of times, I, I mean, I got sick again recently and I couldn't smell, but the first time it happened, I couldn't smell for like two days and I was like really upset about it.

• 45:59Speaker 03

  My shit got so doled out because of smoking for so long.

• 46:04Speaker 04

  You were ready to go.

• 46:05Speaker 03

  That when it happened, I was just kinda like, I guess it isn't there.

• 46:08Speaker 04

  What if there's a gas leak?

• 46:10Speaker 03

  I'm gonna die.

• 46:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, don't, you gotta fix that.

• 46:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's, people have been reaching out, like, there's like therapies you can do to like bring it back.

• 46:16Speaker 04

  That's what I did. When I got sick and mine went away, I just, I got all the spices out of the cabinet and I would just keep smelling them.

• 46:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like a thing where you like.

• 46:22Speaker 04

  One of them kind of recognized it and then I would just think about like, oh, rosemary or whatever, you know?

• 46:27Stavros Halkias?

  You would think about it?

• 46:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, you have to think about it, make it.

• 46:29Speaker 03

  It's like bringing back the force.

• 46:30Stavros Halkias?

  You have to be fucking sitting there like.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  I have to go to an island, I have to go to an island and find Luke Skywalker just to smell this stinky ass city again.

• 46:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but you're pumped. You don't even wanna smell.

• 46:40Speaker 03

  I mean, Katie literally is like my smelling nose lady.

• 46:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 46:45Speaker 03

  Like, I go to her and I go, do I smell? And she goes, I get.

• 46:48Stavros Halkias?

  What about taste? Has it fucked up your taste?

• 46:50Speaker 03

  Doled it a little, but I still have taste. I can still, I can still.

• 46:53Speaker 04

  No, see, I lost both when I had it.

• 46:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, I lost both, but my taste came back, but just a little dulled.

• 47:01Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, alright.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:02Stavros Halkias?

  Well, yeah, you don't, you can't smell, well, now you're a, you're a, uh, to be married man, you don't have to worry about strange, stinky pussies.

• 47:10Speaker 03

  Nope.

• 47:10Stavros Halkias?

  But that's a positive if you're a young man who's, you know, who knows what kinda.

• 47:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, but there's stuff like, it's like, you know, like your mom's perfume or stuff like that you might smell in the future and you're like, oh.

• 47:22Stavros Halkias?

  Get your dick hard.

• 47:22Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, that or, you know, like.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  You go, is that Liz Taylor?

• 47:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, your mom's perfume, your grandma's perfume.

• 47:29Speaker 04

  No, you probably have nice memories that are now inaccessible that you don't even fucking know about.

• 47:33Speaker 03

  That is.

• 47:33Speaker 04

  Great times in your life, cause it's, a lot is, a lot of memories attached to a scent, there's, yeah, smell.

• 47:39Speaker 03

  I might bring it back.

• 47:40Stavros Halkias?

  Do you think you have that capability?

• 47:42Speaker 03

  I, they've, they've been doing a lot of studies. They've been saying there's like medications that can bring it back now.

• 47:47Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 47:48Speaker 03

  Get real good at targeting areas of the brain.

• 47:50Speaker 04

  I think doing the spice thing, you know, you know Born on 4th of July?

• 47:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:53Speaker 04

  We were in the beginning where he's, he's paralyzed and he's in the hospital and he's like, I'm gonna fucking walk again.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:58Speaker 04

  And then he like snaps his leg and he gets too like excited.

• 48:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:02Speaker 04

  That would be me entirely. It's like, I don't care what the doctors say. I'm gonna try and fix it my own way.

• 48:07Speaker 03

  Mine was just kind of like, eh. I don't think I need it right now. It's more that I don't want it.

• 48:15Stavros Halkias?

  I respect that. I would be freaking the fuck out if I lost a sense. A sense.

• 48:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, but my shit was always dulled because of smoking.

• 48:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 48:23Speaker 04

  That shit really upsets me. One of my eyes went like either up or down, a diaphragm or whatever you call it. One of my eyes, I like, I don't know if I had.

• 48:30Speaker 03

  You were googly eyed?

• 48:31Speaker 04

  No, I, I, my vision had been stable and then I had a bad eye infection in this eye. And then, I don't know, it was like a sty and then it became infected. I got, it was called the para orbital cellulitis. I didn't take antibiotics. This was years ago, but it was at the same week. Maybe it was because I could only use this eye and I was like fucked up or something. I was watching TV and then suddenly it was like, like a filter went over and I couldn't read anything.

• 48:54Speaker 03

  Nah, fuck that shit.

• 48:56Speaker 04

  I got a fucking eye exam and this eye had like dropped off.

• 48:59Stavros Halkias?

  So there's jizz in your eye?

• 49:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:01Stavros Halkias?

  Like I was like, that thin layer of the filter was just jizz.

• 49:05Speaker 03

  You have a, almost a force field of cum around your eye.

• 49:08Speaker 04

  But that shit made me really sad. I was like, and I'm looking online, I'm like, can you do exercises?

• 49:13Speaker 03

  There was like times I gave up hope. There was like frustrating shit where I was like, dude, I have to be able to, and then I would pull my nose out like this. That was the only time I was able to smell nail polish.

• 49:23Speaker 04

  You're making fun of me for the spices and you're like doing Pinocchio.

• 49:28Speaker 03

  Dude, I sort of got it.

• 49:29Speaker 04

  There's no way that's the answer, is pulling your nose out?

• 49:32Stavros Halkias?

  I think, I like pulling your nose more.

• 49:33Speaker 04

  No, you're teaming up against me for nose.

• 49:35Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, I, pulling your nose is better.

• 49:37Speaker 03

  Spices is better.

• 49:37Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. Okay, spices, but not thinking you can think your way back to having fucking smell. You can't be like fucking cinnamon and then.

• 49:44Speaker 04

  Yes, you can. It's your brain. Your brain is doing everything. It's the same brain.

• 49:48Speaker 03

  By the way, his science isn't that awful.

• 49:49Stavros Halkias?

  I like tugging nose. Tugging nose makes more sense.

• 49:52Speaker 04

  I do my own science and I'm always right.

• 49:57Speaker 03

  That's how he fixed his eye.

• 49:59Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I'm, I think, I'm very scared that I'm just fucked because of my back. I was telling you guys before, but yeah, I just was fucking deadlifting. Not even a lot of weight and I just tweaked some shit and it just has not, it just, I wake up every morning in excruciating pain for like three hours.

• 50:14Speaker 03

  You need to read that, that book that cured Howard Stern's back.

• 50:17Speaker 04

  You gotta get on Louis Simmons, dude.

• 50:19Stavros Halkias?

  Who's Louis Simmons?

• 50:20Speaker 04

  Louis Simmons was the guy that ran West Side Barbell, but he like broke his fucking back. And then, yeah, have you seen West Side Versus the World?

• 50:28Speaker 03

  No.

• 50:29Speaker 04

  Oh, you should watch it. You'd like it.

• 50:30Speaker 03

  Is that a documentary?

• 50:31Speaker 04

  Yeah. It's like Pumping I- It's like Pumping Iron and West Side Versus the World. It was the two best.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 50:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, but West Side Versus the World is all about Louis Simmons and his gym. Yeah, the powerlifting gym in Ohio. I think it's still there, but it's like invite only and it's just a garage and it's like, like they set a bunch of records, I guess, in the late 90s and early 2000s, but Louis Simmons broke his back. And then he's a welder, so he invented like the rehab machine that he used to fix his back. Yeah.

• 50:56Speaker 03

  That's the most manly shit I've ever heard in my life. Breaking your back and then welding your thing that heals you.

• 51:02Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just sitting here, I'm like in a fucking like a Epsom salt bath being like, ah, ah, my back hurts.

• 51:10Speaker 03

  I need more DoorDash.

• 51:11Stavros Halkias?

  I need more DoorDash. I have, I have to, I have to get to my job where I pretend to be a working class tire salesman tomorrow.

• 51:22Speaker 03

  I know, I'm not actually a tire salesman, but I'm in so much pain.

• 51:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's literally what this last fucking month has been like. I'm like, ah, how am I ever gonna pretend to be a horny tire wreck?

• 51:35Speaker 03

  Maybe I'll bring it to the character.

• 51:36Speaker 04

  You could get into, you could get into pills, too. You could become a pillhead.

• 51:40Speaker 03

  Brother, that's how most people get.

• 51:42Stavros Halkias?

  I'm very scared of that.

• 51:43Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, I know. That's why I'm suggesting it.

• 51:46Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, I got some.

• 51:47Speaker 03

  That's why I'm walking him to his death.

• 51:48Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, I'm really, I've been really worried about that. I've been keeping them at bay. I only use them like, I've only used them like a couple times.

• 51:54Speaker 04

  They're in here somewhere in this park?

• 51:55Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not telling you where they are.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  Are they, if I walk towards it, would you do hot, cold? Do you think if, if your friend Nick got up and walked around, you'd maybe shout out a hotter or colder once in a while?

• 52:08Speaker 04

  I got into, I, I, you know, we would get like kratom for free on the old show.

• 52:11Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 52:12Speaker 04

  It's always kind of gross to me, but then when I, I got surgery a couple of years ago and I used the kratom to extend how long I was on painkillers. And then, um, and then I had this.

• 52:21Stavros Halkias?

  Kratom's very interesting. It's just like.

• 52:23Speaker 04

  Well, if you do enough of it, it's like a Percocet.

• 52:25Stavros Halkias?

  It's just three different drugs.

• 52:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, but.

• 52:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, but this is like you guys coming up with the recipes for like biscotti where you go, a biscotti ice cream? I never thought of that.

• 52:34Speaker 04

  I was doing this for a while.

• 52:35Stavros Halkias?

  Both of those will work for me.

• 52:37Speaker 03

  You guys have pills?

• 52:38Stavros Halkias?

  Ice cream?

• 52:39Speaker 03

  You guys have pills or not?

• 52:40Stavros Halkias?

  Now I'm in heaven, brother.

• 52:41Speaker 04

  I was doing this thing for a while where I would sit at home and I would have like six or seven non-alcoholic beers and then take 40 grams of kratom. And be like, I'm sober. Fucked up.

• 52:51Stavros Halkias?

  Literally triggering your brain into thinking you're drunk.

• 52:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude, and your brain's like, what's going on? It's not the same feeling.

• 52:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. No, that was, that was awesome.

• 53:01Speaker 03

  That's like indoor skydiving for drinking.

• 53:04Speaker 04

  Just sitting there watching my girlfriend, friend play Hogwarts Legacy. Pretending to be drunk, good job.

• 53:10Speaker 03

  Good job. I just had six Heine's zeros.

• 53:12Speaker 04

  I feel great. We're having a great night inside.

• 53:16Speaker 03

  You gotta call Louis to get more creative.

• 53:18Stavros Halkias?

  Missing me and alcoholics so much that you're fucking redoing the shitty parts of it. You're just drunk on your couch.

• 53:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, a thousand calories of Stella zeros.

• 53:30Speaker 03

  So fucking funny.

• 53:32Stavros Halkias?

  Doesn't even taste that good.

• 53:33Speaker 03

  You're in debt.

• 53:34Speaker 04

  They taste good.

• 53:35Stavros Halkias?

  After like two or three though, you want to keep drinking.

• 53:37Speaker 03

  After three, they're bad. I went to a, I went to a 4th of July barbecue with Shane and I drank a 12 pack of Heine's zeros.

• 53:43Stavros Halkias?

  12.

• 53:43Speaker 04

  But those aren't good though.

• 53:44Speaker 03

  I like them. I like them, but six was too much.

• 53:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I, I top out at like three of those. And it's for a barbecue and you want to just fucking.

• 53:53Speaker 03

  They were shotgun and beers, drinking it. I was like, ah, I fucking.

• 53:58Speaker 04

  Shotgunning NAs is, that's.

• 54:00Speaker 03

  A beer bogged the fucking.

• 54:01Speaker 04

  That's like something the chess club does.

• 54:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 54:04Speaker 03

  But I needed it. I needed to like, it was like, it's like a pedophile sex doll. I needed it. I was gonna fucking act out if I did it. I was in a really dark place. I was gonna, don't judge my child sex doll. I needed it.

• 54:18Speaker 04

  Hey, um, Shane, could you just tell those guys that was real beer?

• 54:22Speaker 03

  I was like, I don't give a shit, dude. I'll take three edibles. I was doing it with Nick.

• 54:26Speaker 03

  Just displacement.

• 54:27Speaker 04

  Hey Shane, if Post Malone asks, that was real beer.

• 54:29Speaker 03

  Hey, if George Kittle asks what I'm pouring here.

• 54:34Speaker 04

  Sitting there getting a temporary tattoo.

• 54:38Speaker 03

  Hey, me too. I got, uh, stuff on my face too.

• 54:43Stavros Halkias?

  Oh fuck, Eldis, what, is it about time we, we gave a little wisdom to the, to the listeners, Eldis? Yeah. Wonderful. And by the way, here, we should say, Dan, you are in the middle of a tour.

• 54:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour, on sale.

• 54:55Stavros Halkias?

  This will come out in March, probably.

• 54:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, danstater.com, March and April are the final months of it.

• 55:00Stavros Halkias?

  Perfect. Go see Dan. Nick, you said, we were talking, you said you're back on the road, baby?

• 55:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, I just did Chicago. I gotta line more stuff up. But I'm being lazy about it. I kinda wanna keep everything in driving distance for a little bit.

• 55:09Speaker 03

  That's smart.

• 55:10Stavros Halkias?

  It's kinda nice, dude. Yeah, I just bought, I bought a RAV4.

• 55:12Speaker 03

  Woo!

• 55:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, places is awesome.

• 55:14Speaker 04

  Well, I, I, I realized that.

• 55:16Stavros Halkias?

  He did Philly, it was awesome.

• 55:17Speaker 04

  I had a flight, I, I, like, for some reason, it's like on Saturdays, I'm like anxious about the shows, even though it's the end of the week.

• 55:22Stavros Halkias?

  Mm, really?

• 55:23Speaker 04

  And then it, it took me until now to realize it's because I have to fly on Sunday.

• 55:27Stavros Halkias?

  Ah.

• 55:28Speaker 04

  And I get, like, even before I go on the road, it's like, I think, like, oh, why am I nervous? And it's, I hate, I'm like, I'm gonna fuck up. I'm not gonna get to the airport on time.

• 55:35Speaker 03

  Dude, and that also.

• 55:36Stavros Halkias?

  Travel sucks, dude.

• 55:37Speaker 03

  Especially with government shutdowns possibly happening again.

• 55:40Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 55:40Speaker 03

  It's like one of those things where you're like, I might not make it, and the stress of not making it to a fucking faraway city.

• 55:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 55:47Speaker 03

  Because people are like.

• 55:48Stavros Halkias?

  We've been promoting it for a fucking year.

• 55:49Speaker 03

  Just been begging people, like, come out! There's gotta be, and you're like, cuz I can't fly there.

• 55:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we fucking drove back from Greensboro. We, we fucking.

• 56:00Speaker 04

  What is that? South Carolina?

• 56:01Speaker 03

  Ten hours?

• 56:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what was it, ten? It was like six hours to Baltimore, and then we like stayed. Yeah, we literally stayed in my house like a fucking Grand Theft Auto save point.

• 56:10Speaker 03

  Dude, that's great. I forgot you have that.

• 56:11Stavros Halkias?

  We slept for like three and a half hours and then got back to New York.

• 56:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's great.

• 56:15Stavros Halkias?

  But it was a fucking hilarious ride. We saw a, that's, we, we were talking about the truck drivers earlier. We saw, literally, a guy was, he had parked his truck in maybe the worst spot possible, and we were like, it was like, there was like a detour off a highway, and we needed to like go around his shit. We were like, what the fuck's that guy got in there? Was he getting sucked off by a lot lizard? And then, as we said, that like, a disheveled woman comes out. And it's like, and is like, telling, he's like, doing traffic.

• 56:43Speaker 03

  Go around!

• 56:44Stavros Halkias?

  Literally.

• 56:45Speaker 03

  Go around!

• 56:46Stavros Halkias?

  Helping him back up, so we can like cross through and keep on going.

• 56:49Speaker 03

  Oh, she's like, sorry, I had to come out here and scratch the come out of my pussy.

• 56:54Stavros Halkias?

  So go see The Golden Retriever of Comedy. Go see the Muldog when he when he throws some stuff up there. And we got some great stuff at this point. Probably Radio City's coming up by the time this comes out.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  What are you doing Radio City?

• 57:08Stavros Halkias?

  March 25th?

• 57:09Speaker 03

  Fucking A.

• 57:10Stavros Halkias?

  28th? 28th. March 28th. Come by. Come hang.

• 57:14Speaker 04

  You gotta check out there. Maybe you'll like this. In the back there, they got a like, it's the original machine from like the 1930s. It controls all the

• 57:23Speaker 03

  Really?

• 57:23Speaker 04

  The fucking, you know, the, I don't know, ropes?

• 57:26Stavros Halkias?

  Holy shit, really?

• 57:27Speaker 03

  Yeah. It controls the curtains?

• 57:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:30Stavros Halkias?

  They still use it or it's just like?

• 57:31Speaker 04

  I think they still use it.

• 57:32Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome. I'm excited.

• 57:33Speaker 03

  Now, that's fucking, that's mad ghost territory.

• 57:36Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, they ghosted up.

• 57:37Speaker 03

  That's Phantom of the Opera. Oh, is it?

• 57:39Stavros Halkias?

  I'm sure.

• 57:40Speaker 03

  Radio City has to be.

• 57:41Stavros Halkias?

  Every, a lot of shit is haunted, dude.

• 57:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's why they all have that ghost light they put on that stage at theaters.

• 57:45Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 57:46Speaker 04

  For the ghosts to like perform?

• 57:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, the ghost is a model.

• 57:49Stavros Halkias?

  Just doing rage, just doing blackface. It's like, if it's a ghost from like 1910.

• 57:54Speaker 04

  It's just so offensive that they're not allowed in hell.

• 57:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 57:59Speaker 04

  Satan's like, Jesus Christ.

• 58:01Speaker 03

  Have some taste.

• 58:04Speaker 03

  Golly. I mean, I'm evil, but I like good stuff.

• 58:11Speaker 03

  Satan's pissed because he gets all this.

• 58:13Stavros Halkias?

  Satan doesn't necessarily have that bad taste.

• 58:15Speaker 03

  I invented rock and, I stole rock and roll from black people.

• 58:21Speaker 03

  Can I grab another seltzer real quick?

• 58:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, please.

• 58:23Speaker 03

  Do you want a Zero?

• 58:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, that'd be great.

• 58:26Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis will get it.

• 58:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:31Stavros Halkias?

  Can you get me a fucking root beer while you're at it?

• 58:35Speaker 04

  You gotta pull up the advice.

• 58:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Eldis, pull up some fucking advice.

• 58:39Speaker 04

  Did you get like?

• 58:39Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, everyone. It's Stavros Halkias, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast, Stavvy's World. Each week, we're joined by great guests like Josh Safdie, Eric Andre, Caleb Heron, and more. It's sort of an interview show, but really, we're just messing around, making each other laugh, and hopefully making you laugh while you're washing the dishes, or grocery shopping, or on a long drive. Plus, I take listener calls, or we have honest conversations about dating, life, and everything in between. Imagine if your therapist was a vulgar degenerate whose office was in a Greek diner. No scripts, no polish, and absolutely no holding back. Listen to Stavvy's World wherever you get your podcasts.

• 59:19Speaker 05

  Fall is a vibe. So what's yours?

• 59:25Speaker 05

  Do you go wild? Or get a little nostalgic? Do you like to cozy up indoors? Or kick it outdoors? Whatever you fall for. Get shoes to get you. We've got the trend. You bring the vibes. DSW, let us surprise you.

• 59:47Stavros Halkias?

  Finish with some fucking calls, LD.

• 59:49Speaker 03

  Yo, can I hit the one?

• 59:51Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. Oh, yeah, go crazy.

• 59:56Speaker 04

  Damn, I've had like nine coffees today.

• 59:59Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, where's the fucking call, you dunce? Yeah, I fucking said it three times. Jesus Christ.

• 1:00:05Speaker 06

  Hey, Stavi. Hi, Aldous and esteemed guests. I'll try to get this quick.

• 1:00:13Speaker 06

  I blew two discs in my lumbar spine when I was like 25. Had surgery, was good to go. But a couple of weeks ago, I was in a lot of pain, got an MRI. Turns out it's degenerative disc disease and I blew two more and they'll just continue to get worse. It's manageable, but I, my career path is mobile mechanic. I run my own business, I make a good money. But I'm at this point now where I've got to decide, do I change career path?

• 1:00:46Speaker 04

  Well, quick, quick answer, real quick. Immobile mechanic.

• 1:00:49Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, that's true. Bring your car.

• 1:00:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:52Stavros Halkias?

  You jack your car up, you bring it to my house.

• 1:00:55Speaker 04

  Put my hands on the car for me.

• 1:00:57Speaker 03

  Wheel me under there. Lay me down, wheel me under. And I'll give a glimpse.

• 1:01:04Speaker 04

  Get a wheelchair and replace the car.

• 1:01:07Speaker 03

  I'll be your car.

• 1:01:08Speaker 04

  You can, people can ride you around.

• 1:01:10Stavros Halkias?

  You know my lap. Yeah.

• 1:01:13Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking brutal. So this guy figured out his back is just fucked?

• 1:01:17Speaker 03

  He has degenerative.

• 1:01:19Stavros Halkias?

  Disc disorder.

• 1:01:20Speaker 07

  Disc disease.

• 1:01:21Stavros Halkias?

  Disease, which I guess, I don't know what that is. Hopefully.

• 1:01:23Speaker 04

  Isn't that what you have?

• 1:01:24Speaker 03

  Does it make you feel like a pussy? Hearing a guy that's got like, like you got back problems, but this guy's got like.

• 1:01:30Speaker 04

  This guy is the character you're playing.

• 1:01:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:37Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know, David's a manager.

• 1:01:40Speaker 03

  I sell tires at this place. I'm a manager and you go, what the fuck?

• 1:01:45Speaker 04

  It would have been awesome if you were supposed to be a mechanic and then you showed up, you're like, I'm gonna need a chair.

• 1:01:50Speaker 04

  I'm gonna need a chair to sit in.

• 1:01:53Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah, dude, I mean, you're pretty, that sucks dick. Uh, he's basically just saying he needs to change his career.

• 1:02:00Speaker 07

  Yeah, he's wondering if he should seriously reconsider pursuing a different career.

• 1:02:04Speaker 04

  He should learn how to use Chat G P to do coding for him. That's my advice to everybody is find, no, find something that you are completely dispassionate about, that you hate. And then use Chat G P T to do that.

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  Cause poorly for you.

• 1:02:19Speaker 04

  Doesn't matter. Yeah.

• 1:02:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:21Stavros Halkias?

  But what would that even fucking be? He doesn't know. He has no, does he have any ideas about what he would do? Or you're saying should he? I mean, yes, cause if you're asking us in a vacuum, should you take a job that is less physically taxing? The answer is yes, if you have that available.

• 1:02:36Speaker 04

  Well, if you were in a vacuum, that'd be awesome.

• 1:02:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:39Speaker 04

  Can you imagine living in a giant vacuum?

• 1:02:41Speaker 03

  Is it a giant vacuum?

• 1:02:42Speaker 04

  It's a giant vacuum, maybe a Kirby. That would be pretty cool.

• 1:02:45Speaker 03

  Oh, I'll tell you what, you're in a Dyson, your life's pretty good.

• 1:02:48Speaker 04

  It would be even better if it was haunted and then it's like Luigi's Mansion and you're in that, you live in a vacuum.

• 1:02:52Stavros Halkias?

  It's full of fucking dust. I don't want it to be full of dirt and shit.

• 1:02:55Speaker 04

  Well, it's a fantasy world. We're living in, where you can live in a vacuum.

• 1:02:59Speaker 03

  It's charming in a Disney way. You can use it to fly up places.

• 1:03:02Stavros Halkias?

  I coughing or like.

• 1:03:03Speaker 03

  Nah, at first, but then you become acclimated.

• 1:03:06Speaker 04

  Maybe you're in a different part of the vacuum.

• 1:03:08Speaker 03

  You might be in the brushes.

• 1:03:10Stavros Halkias?

  The brushes would be cool.

• 1:03:11Speaker 03

  That's like the inner city of the vacuum world.

• 1:03:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:14Speaker 03

  You go, you don't want to live in the brushes. Let's just say this stuff gets trapped or.

• 1:03:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Hmm. I don't know. I mean, the sensation of being vacuumed, that would feel nice.

• 1:03:24Speaker 03

  Getting sucked?

• 1:03:25Stavros Halkias?

  Being, getting a body.

• 1:03:26Speaker 03

  I think you just want a blowjob.

• 1:03:28Stavros Halkias?

  No, dude, I just want like. I don't know, I feel awesome.

• 1:03:31Speaker 03

  Just to be taken away? You want to be abducted?

• 1:03:34Stavros Halkias?

  Being abducted would feel good.

• 1:03:36Speaker 04

  Being sucked, your entire body.

• 1:03:38Stavros Halkias?

  Your whole body getting sucked would feel good.

• 1:03:39Speaker 04

  I was reading about the uh-

• 1:03:40Stavros Halkias?

  You don't really get sucked. You get, your dick is played with, with a mouth.

• 1:03:45Speaker 04

  I was reading about the uh-

• 1:03:46Stavros Halkias?

  It's not really a suck job.

• 1:03:47Speaker 04

  The Apollo, Apollo one disaster?

• 1:03:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, story?

• 1:03:52Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:03:52Speaker 04

  I really only know it from the beginning of Apollo thirteen. The movie?

• 1:03:55Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know shit about it.

• 1:03:57Speaker 04

  Well, so it was the first Apollo mission. And um, like just the pre, they were just testing. They were like, get in the cockpit and let's just make sure the radio works.

• 1:04:07Stavros Halkias?

  You know, just like, turn the radio on.

• 1:04:09Speaker 03

  I can, I immediately-

• 1:04:10Speaker 04

  Literally.

• 1:04:11Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 1:04:11Speaker 03

  I immediately see Nick selling a comedic version of Apollo one to a streamer. Being like, they've got to learn how to be astronauts.

• 1:04:20Speaker 04

  That's what happened. So they put him on the, they put him on the launch pad. They get in the cockpit and they were, they have to, you know, they have to pressurize the cockpit because when it goes into space, it's a fucking vacuum. So they do that on the ground. And at the time, I don't know if they changed it later, they did it with pure oxygen.

• 1:04:34Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:04:34Speaker 04

  And so, and there's a recording of the comms, right?

• 1:04:37Stavros Halkias?

  Oh no.

• 1:04:37Speaker 04

  And so they're sitting in there, it's pure oxygen, some wire shorts. And then you hear the guy, like, the guy's like already impatient. He's like, how the hell are we gonna go to the moon if we can't even get, you know, comms working right between two buildings? He's like, uh oh, we got a fire. Bad fire, bad fire!

• 1:04:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh no.

• 1:04:55Speaker 04

  And they're like, get us out of here! And then it just cuts out. But then you hear the other guys, because there's so much pressure in there, because they pressurized it, and it's also pure oxygen, the fire like makes it even more. So they got squeezed and burned to death.

• 1:05:07Stavros Halkias?

  Oh!

• 1:05:08Speaker 04

  In like thirty seconds, but then there's the other side of the comms and the other guy's like, yeah, Mike, can you go check on them?

• 1:05:14Speaker 03

  So fucking, the guy that goes-

• 1:05:17Stavros Halkias?

  He's being a fucking diva again.

• 1:05:18Speaker 04

  Mike, can you update, you got visual on them?

• 1:05:20Speaker 03

  The guy that always goes, stop playing around.

• 1:05:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:24Speaker 03

  You guys playing around, the guy's being squeezed and burned?

• 1:05:26Stavros Halkias?

  Oh dude.

• 1:05:27Speaker 04

  But you gotta think, like, all those guys went to like Korea in World War Two. So for them-

• 1:05:31Stavros Halkias?

  Especially the first round.

• 1:05:31Speaker 03

  That was sweet relief.

• 1:05:32Speaker 04

  For them, that's like, that's like nothing. It's like, yeah, they all got, get, get some more astronauts in here.

• 1:05:38Speaker 03

  We lost three, what do you want me to cry about?

• 1:05:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:41Stavros Halkias?

  That would be, that would suck dick to be number one, though.

• 1:05:44Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:05:44Stavros Halkias?

  And you know, not only do you not get to go to space, you die in fucking Florida on fire.

• 1:05:48Speaker 03

  The smartest guy was like, I'll go two.

• 1:05:52Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah, I'll be number, why don't I go on the fourth?

• 1:05:54Speaker 03

  Don't you want to be the first one? And he goes, no.

• 1:05:59Speaker 03

  No, I don't.

• 1:06:00Stavros Halkias?

  Not really.

• 1:06:00Speaker 03

  Have you guys figured out the old pressure thing?

• 1:06:03Speaker 04

  Well, that's, I, I never really knew this story. I rewatched Apollo 13 recently and I never picked up on that as a, when I was a kid, but like, it makes the story so much crazier because it's like, these guys are thinking about the other guys that burned to death.

• 1:06:14Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:06:15Speaker 04

  And they already know how dangerous this is gonna be. And then they go up there and they just get stuck.

• 1:06:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:19Speaker 04

  Like in between Earth and the moon, which.

• 1:06:21Speaker 03

  You know what though? It does give a, a layer of more danger.

• 1:06:24Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, that's what I mean because as a kid, I couldn't appreciate Apollo 13.

• 1:06:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, I saw it with my dad and I remember being like, they got stuck and they got out of getting stuck.

• 1:06:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, who cares? Kid too, you're like, fucking Han Solo does fucking backflips.

• 1:06:37Speaker 04

  Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:38Stavros Halkias?

  Like when you see, when you're a kid and you see.

• 1:06:39Speaker 03

  This guy can't even get it up.

• 1:06:40Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, what are you guys, you're just, the Earth is right fucking there. It's so scary.

• 1:06:44Speaker 04

  I thought.

• 1:06:45Stavros Halkias?

  You have a fucking jetpack.

• 1:06:48Speaker 04

  When I was in Chicago, I got back to my hotel room at 3am and they locked the door and I tried it and it was locked and I was like,

• 1:06:56Speaker 04

  the guy was already walking over, right? The guy was already coming over to let me in. I was crying. It's like, maybe a second and a half had passed before I was urinating and like, didn't know what was gonna happen.

• 1:07:08Stavros Halkias?

  Like, oh no, I hope the two Nigerians from Jesse Smollett don't get me.

• 1:07:12Speaker 03

  Oh, I just went to Subway.

• 1:07:19Speaker 03

  What do you mean you just went to Subway? That's like, you say you sit outside. You are going to Subway.

• 1:07:25Stavros Halkias?

  You have become MAGA country.

• 1:07:27Speaker 03

  Yeah. Welcome to America.

• 1:07:29Speaker 04

  We gotta do it again.

• 1:07:31Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome to the country of MAGA.

• 1:07:33Speaker 03

  Welcome.

• 1:07:34Speaker 04

  No, it's welcome to, this is MAGA.

• 1:07:36Stavros Halkias?

  Where is my meatball sub?

• 1:07:37Speaker 03

  Where?

• 1:07:38Stavros Halkias?

  You promised me a six foot on Italian herbs and cheeses.

• 1:07:41Speaker 03

  I wanted a teriyaki chicken. Where is my teriyaki? You do not bring it to me.

• 1:07:47Speaker 04

  It's crazy. That's the only good thing on the menu. Sweet onion chicken teriyaki. Everything else is bullshit.

• 1:07:51Speaker 03

  Cause they know it's good.

• 1:07:53Stavros Halkias?

  I like the Italian BMT.

• 1:07:55Speaker 03

  Nah, dude.

• 1:07:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:57Speaker 03

  Sweet onion teriyaki.

• 1:07:57Stavros Halkias?

  Honestly, the meatball sub's not bad either.

• 1:07:59Speaker 03

  It isn't bad. In a pinch.

• 1:08:00Stavros Halkias?

  In a pinch.

• 1:08:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, but there's never a pinch. You always have to.

• 1:08:07Stavros Halkias?

  There's never a pinch, what do you mean there's never a pinch?

• 1:08:09Speaker 04

  Unless you go in there like, we don't have the sweet onion chicken teriyaki.

• 1:08:12Stavros Halkias?

  It's not that good, bro. The fucking meat. Also, sometimes you want something different. You want a meatball sub.

• 1:08:18Speaker 07

  It's good, but the chicken does kinda suck.

• 1:08:20Stavros Halkias?

  It's that weird.

• 1:08:22Speaker 07

  But the flavor is like.

• 1:08:23Stavros Halkias?

  It's that weird rubbery ass chicken. Fuck Subway.

• 1:08:26Speaker 03

  Damn, I kinda want Subway though.

• 1:08:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, of course. Do you fucking white trash?

• 1:08:31Speaker 07

  I got a Subway Thanksgiving sub they had on the menu when me and Stav stopped on the way back.

• 1:08:37Speaker 03

  That was an old Lenny's thing that they used to do. That was great.

• 1:08:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, I do think it's nice when chains do something for a limited time.

• 1:08:47Speaker 04

  I had a night where I was way fucked up on kratom to the extent that I wouldn't say I blacked out, but I didn't remember it happening, but I like inquired about, I inquired about opening a Blimpy's franchise.

• 1:08:57Speaker 03

  You know what?

• 1:08:58Speaker 04

  Sent an email and then the next day I got like, you know, they're like, thank you for looking into opening a Blimpy's franchise.

• 1:09:04Speaker 03

  I'm genuinely curious. Blimpy's was my favorite.

• 1:09:08Speaker 07

  There's no Blimpy's anymore.

• 1:09:10Speaker 04

  I didn't say I'm dumb or that this was a bad idea. I just said that I didn't remember it.

• 1:09:16Speaker 03

  I just said I didn't remember.

• 1:09:17Speaker 07

  Yeah, no. I feel like there's no Blimpy's anymore.

• 1:09:19Speaker 04

  Blimpy's, if you opened a Blimpy's slash Blockbuster in like wherever the Harry Potter store is, yeah, you would be.

• 1:09:26Speaker 07

  No, no, no. It would need to be in like Ridgewood or some shit.

• 1:09:29Speaker 04

  Yeah. What the fuck is going on out in Ridgewood?

• 1:09:32Speaker 07

  You would need it to be like hipster.

• 1:09:33Speaker 03

  You just said that like you're a black comic.

• 1:09:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, man, the fuck?

• 1:09:37Speaker 03

  Ridgewood, what the fuck's going on?

• 1:09:39Speaker 04

  The fuck, yeah. Well, I feel like I've lived in Bed-Stuy long enough now that I can act like that to the people that are moving there now.

• 1:09:45Speaker 03

  I think it's true.

• 1:09:46Speaker 04

  You don't belong here.

• 1:09:48Speaker 03

  You know what you did?

• 1:09:49Speaker 04

  They're like, you don't either. I'm like, yeah, but less, I mean, a little bit more than you.

• 1:09:54Speaker 03

  They're not as mad at me anymore.

• 1:09:58Speaker 07

  Play another call, LD.

• 1:10:02Speaker 08

  Hey Seth, uh, second shot here, cause I went way too long in the first try. Uh, so long story short, I am having a hard time with my dad since my mom passed away six months ago. Um, she, it's, it's been a hard time and, and all that, you know, goes with that thing. Um, since she passed away, my dad, who's like a deeply, deeply conservative, like Catholic man, Midwestern man, has started hanging out with one of her old friends. Um, like a lot. It started off sort of, sort of low key that she would like bring him lunch sometimes.

• 1:10:40Speaker 08

  Um, but now he's like seeing her like every day after work and, uh, my dad, he went to Texas last week, uh, cause he had some health stuff going on. He needed to get some, he needed to get some scans and he got like a second opinion down there. Uh, my brother and sister-in-law went with him, which we thought would be enough.

• 1:10:58Stavros Halkias?

  He did Rogan, did Ways to Well. Which by the way, what's up with stem cells? If anybody knows, inject them into my back.

• 1:11:05Speaker 03

  Oh yeah.

• 1:11:06Stavros Halkias?

  I need them fixed.

• 1:11:07Speaker 03

  Rey Mysterio just took him. He's back in the WWE.

• 1:11:09Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck dude. If somebody knows Mysterio's doctor, let me know.

• 1:11:12Speaker 03

  That'd be awesome. Having you doing 619s, having people trapped at the rope.

• 1:11:18Speaker 04

  I, I kind of feel like we're on like, and this is gonna get like conspiratorial, but with all the Epstein stuff coming out and everything, it's gonna be like, we're all gonna have to make a decision. It's like, it's gonna be like, okay, it's clear. Everybody in the government fucks children.

• 1:11:32Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:11:32Speaker 04

  They're all evil. They wanna murder like an entire race of people.

• 1:11:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 1:11:36Speaker 04

  But we now have the technology where like everything could be cured. You can live forever and you're gonna have to make like a decision.

• 1:11:42Stavros Halkias?

  Let them do it and take the drugs or don't?

• 1:11:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, kinda.

• 1:11:45Speaker 03

  So like you can live.

• 1:11:47Speaker 04

  Whether we, whether we get rid of morality and kill God, basically, and then we have immortality.

• 1:11:54Speaker 04

  Not yet, he's hanging on.

• 1:11:56Speaker 03

  I feel like God just hasn't checked in in a while.

• 1:11:58Speaker 04

  He's in Iran, he's in Palestine.

• 1:12:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:01Speaker 04

  A little bit of southern Lebanon in the caves.

• 1:12:03Speaker 03

  Lot on, lot on God's plate.

• 1:12:05Stavros Halkias?

  Lot on God's plate right now.

• 1:12:07Speaker 03

  He's not really thinking about the Super Bowl this year.

• 1:12:09Stavros Halkias?

  Um, I, so would I take the drug to cure everything?

• 1:12:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, I just overwrote this guy's question.

• 1:12:16Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, we'll get back to his question.

• 1:12:19Speaker 04

  If my family's dying, I'm like, here's a better one.

• 1:12:21Speaker 03

  No, well, listen, we'll get, it's, his dad's getting new pussy.

• 1:12:25Speaker 04

  Not would you take the drug necessarily, but like, would you accept that world? It's like you could have paradise on earth born out of like, things that violate your principles.

• 1:12:35Stavros Halkias?

  We were still, we're just gonna let them get away with everything.

• 1:12:38Speaker 03

  So they're gonna be that and not pay for it?

• 1:12:41Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think I could do that, but I don't know if like.

• 1:12:44Speaker 04

  It is sort of the natural outgrowth of like, the life you already kind of live, living in the West anyways.

• 1:12:49Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, true, that's true. That is true, you could argue we're already doing that.

• 1:12:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:12:53Stavros Halkias?

  Just by being fucking successful in America.

• 1:12:56Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:12:56Speaker 03

  They, they've cured being fat from eating too much food.

• 1:13:02Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it's still a process, Dan. You know, that's easy for you to fucking say over there.

• 1:13:07Speaker 03

  Don't come at me, I'm a handicapped.

• 1:13:08Stavros Halkias?

  You still gotta take the shots.

• 1:13:09Speaker 03

  Don't tell me to smell the roses.

• 1:13:10Stavros Halkias?

  And sometimes you're so fat, you override the shot, you throw up because you had too much pizza.

• 1:13:15Speaker 04

  Do you have a Band-Aid tan line?

• 1:13:19Stavros Halkias?

  I do.

• 1:13:21Speaker 03

  I think, hold on.

• 1:13:23Speaker 04

  What's that? But I don't understand how the middle part still looks like a Band-Aid.

• 1:13:26Speaker 03

  It is.

• 1:13:27Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know what that's from, honestly.

• 1:13:30Speaker 03

  It looks like a Band-Aid.

• 1:13:31Speaker 04

  It looks like you had a tattoo of a Band-Aid that got removed.

• 1:13:34Stavros Halkias?

  When did I get shots?

• 1:13:35Speaker 03

  I'm saying, we haven't cured it yet, but we've made crazy progress.

• 1:13:39Speaker 04

  Are you on the, uh, and then are you taking the pill one or the injectable?

• 1:13:44Stavros Halkias?

  The injectable one?

• 1:13:45Speaker 04

  Are you gonna switch to the pill?

• 1:13:46Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know.

• 1:13:49Speaker 04

  What if they put it in peanut butter and put it in your mouth?

• 1:13:52Speaker 03

  Oh, how have they not came out with different flavors for this?

• 1:13:54Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, that's a no-brainer.

• 1:13:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, and half of it should be placebo pills.

• 1:13:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:59Speaker 03

  So they're just getting you to try.

• 1:14:01Stavros Halkias?

  That's why they haven't made them flavored.

• 1:14:05Speaker 03

  We've overdosed.

• 1:14:06Speaker 04

  It's like that movie, Thinner.

• 1:14:08Speaker 03

  Everyone looks like they were cursed by a shaman. Everyone.

• 1:14:13Stavros Halkias?

  Um, all right, back to this fucking guy.

• 1:14:14Speaker 03

  His dad's getting new pussy.

• 1:14:17Stavros Halkias?

  What was he doing in Texas?

• 1:14:18Speaker 04

  They're going to Texas for a medical appointment. Prescription barbecue.

• 1:14:24Stavros Halkias?

  Excuse me. I'm here for the buy get first dips on the brisket. You were supposed to save me the fattiest cup. My doctor said I did it.

• 1:14:31Speaker 03

  Uh, we could knock this out with a half pound of brisket and some cornbread.

• 1:14:36Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so he's in Texas and what, this bitch went with him?

• 1:14:39Speaker 08

  Um, but he also invited this bitch to come with him as well.

• 1:14:44Speaker 07

  Uh, but he also invited this bitch to come with him as well.

• 1:14:48Speaker 08

  Uh, and those two stayed with, with her family. She, her family's from Texas. They stayed with her family together.

• 1:14:55Stavros Halkias?

  What do you want us to do about this?

• 1:14:56Speaker 08

  My brother and sister-in-law stayed elsewhere. Uh, while they were down there, my brother is like calling me and texting me saying, it's fucking weird. They're, we're apparently like holding hands.

• 1:15:06Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, what do you think is going, what is this question?

• 1:15:09Speaker 03

  Can I tell you something right now? As a child of divorce, this guy is irritating me. Cause he's going like, what is, why is my dad acting like a man?

• 1:15:18Stavros Halkias?

  My mommy's, I mean, look, no disrespect. We get, your mom died. No disrespect, but disrespect. I mean, I get it, but also, how old is he?

• 1:15:27Speaker 07

  Uh, I don't think he's specific.

• 1:15:28Speaker 03

  Sounds like he's in his thirties at least.

• 1:15:30Stavros Halkias?

  I will give him, what's weird is that it's his mom's friend, right?

• 1:15:34Speaker 03

  That's fucked up, but also man, here's the deal. Your dad.

• 1:15:40Stavros Halkias?

  That happens a lot.

• 1:15:41Speaker 03

  Hopefully your dad did not cheat the entire time he was married to your mom.

• 1:15:44Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:15:44Speaker 03

  So he did not know how to acquire outside pussy.

• 1:15:48Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:15:48Speaker 03

  Your mom dies. I'm sorry. May her rest, may she rest in peace. But now.

• 1:15:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, that almost makes more sense. I mean, the nexus of their relationship is like grief over this lady.

• 1:15:58Stavros Halkias?

  This happens a lot, I feel like, doesn't it?

• 1:16:00Speaker 03

  Brother, this is what they used to do when we were settling the west.

• 1:16:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:16:02Speaker 03

  Someone dies, you marry, they're fucking, it was close.

• 1:16:05Stavros Halkias?

  This feels like.

• 1:16:05Speaker 04

  You raise your brother's son Jeremiah. Pretend he's your son.

• 1:16:09Speaker 03

  Raise a barn, yeah, the child.

• 1:16:11Stavros Halkias?

  But this literally does feel like some village type shit.

• 1:16:14Speaker 07

  There's, there's another little twist detail coming up. This is a longer one.

• 1:16:19Speaker 08

  And like my dad and this, this woman were like holding hands. My dad told me that he has an angel up in heaven, my mom. But now he has an angel on earth with him as well. It's just fucking weirding me out. It's a, it's a lot. Um. And to top it all off, this woman is married, um, and is the principal of a Catholic school.

• 1:16:40Speaker 03

  Oh, man.

• 1:16:43Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow. Catholics are fucking hypocrites. Don't, don't be so naive to even mention that like it's weird, but go, the married thing is so funny. Is there any more elders?

• 1:16:54Speaker 08

  Uh, I don't know. I thought that nothing was going on, but you know, that he was just in his grief, he was finding comfort in her. But then last night, my brother called me and, uh, said that my dad, his location was being weird. Cause we both have our dad's location. I am not a person who checks locations, but he was like, check dad's location. And I checked our dad's location. He was an hour away at, um, this Doreen, this Doreen woman, her dad owns a condo, like an hour from where my, my dad lives.

• 1:17:26Speaker 03

  He was at the Smash Palace.

• 1:17:28Speaker 08

  But the guy who owns it is in Texas and my dad and Doreen were like at that condo together.

• 1:17:35Stavros Halkias?

  He was hitting skins in that. Dude, this man's fresh from the fucking, the, the Houston heart center.

• 1:17:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:42Stavros Halkias?

  And he's fucking.

• 1:17:43Speaker 03

  By the way, he was just going to get a checkup to make sure he could fuck. The doctor was like, uh, you didn't need to come down here in person. Your heart, he's like, is it good enough for sex? We're gonna monitor you. It's like, it's like that where he's, he's got one of those masks on where he's blowing the ball, yeah, the ball in the air while he's on a treadmill.

• 1:18:01Stavros Halkias?

  But he's, he's fucking this lady?

• 1:18:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. Just making sure he's boxing underwater. Getting ready to fuck. What's her name? Colleen? Miss Colleen?

• 1:18:10Speaker 07

  He called her Doreen, kind of as a fake little code name.

• 1:18:13Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay. That's a full fake name.

• 1:18:14Speaker 03

  Yo, he, your dad is.

• 1:18:17Stavros Halkias?

  The married thing is really funny.

• 1:18:19Speaker 03

  It's, it's, it's perf, it's fucked up.

• 1:18:22Stavros Halkias?

  This turns into she's the scumbag.

• 1:18:24Speaker 03

  She's the worst.

• 1:18:24Stavros Halkias?

  What hap, okay.

• 1:18:25Speaker 03

  Get her dead friend's ex-husband and she's married.

• 1:18:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's hilarious. She's a dumb bitch. But here's the thing.

• 1:18:34Speaker 03

  That pussy's so good.

• 1:18:35Stavros Halkias?

  Honestly, dude, what are you, what are you doing? You're now, you're being very naive here. Hmm. Of course, your dad is gonna fuck this lady.

• 1:18:41Speaker 07

  It's also none of, none of your business.

• 1:18:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, who gives a, honestly, what do you care that it's like, uh, not right or some shit?

• 1:18:48Speaker 03

  I would tell you right now, listen, obviously I don't have kids. I don't know about parenting. I think he should have hit you more so you weren't tracking him. He didn't scare you enough to not track him. My mother's business is my mother's business. I respect it, you know what I mean? She got, she hit me. She hit me with a one-two-one New Year's Eve when I was 12 years old and I was like, I don't ever question this woman.

• 1:19:13Stavros Halkias?

  So, did he have a final que- like, what is he even asking us? What should he do?

• 1:19:20Speaker 03

  Is, yeah.

• 1:19:22Speaker 04

  He said any help would be great, that's basically.

• 1:19:24Speaker 03

  Any help is let your dad fuck.

• 1:19:26Stavros Halkias?

  This is what it is. Your mom is gone, that sucks.

• 1:19:29Speaker 03

  Deal with that.

• 1:19:30Stavros Halkias?

  It's weird that he's quickly getting back.

• 1:19:32Speaker 04

  You should start fucking the husband. You should find the husband and start having sex with him.

• 1:19:38Stavros Halkias?

  Or, or, this is doubt fire yourself, seduce your father.

• 1:19:41Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:19:42Stavros Halkias?

  Suck your dad's dick.

• 1:19:43Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 1:19:43Stavros Halkias?

  And then be like, now you're fucking gay, dad.

• 1:19:46Speaker 03

  And he went the whole time, Daniel? The whole time, he go, you molested me first.

• 1:19:52Speaker 04

  What if he found out that the, this lady's husband was fucking the dead mom?

• 1:19:56Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 1:19:56Speaker 04

  And this whole thing.

• 1:19:57Speaker 03

  Oh, it's like a swinger thing?

• 1:19:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, and then he finds out at the end when the dad's dying, because he doesn't talk to dad.

• 1:20:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, he goes, I can't talk to you anymore.

• 1:20:04Speaker 04

  And he's like, yeah, over this, and then years later, you find out, he's like, I was just getting revenge.

• 1:20:10Speaker 03

  Don't you understand?

• 1:20:10Stavros Halkias?

  I couldn't do it while your mom was here.

• 1:20:12Speaker 04

  We didn't spend the best years of our, your, well, neither of our lives, but some time together before he died.

• 1:20:19Speaker 03

  He's like, I know.

• 1:20:20Speaker 04

  That'd be sad.

• 1:20:20Stavros Halkias?

  Or what if they have, what if?

• 1:20:22Speaker 04

  What if this is Zorron Mom Donnie? And the dad is Jeffrey Epstein?

• 1:20:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's probably what it is.

• 1:20:27Speaker 04

  Because Zorron is just called in.

• 1:20:29Speaker 03

  What if these are all code words? Yeah, but I see what you're saying, what if the dad, what if they had an arrangement?

• 1:20:35Stavros Halkias?

  What if now, what if he, what if the other guy, he's in the cuck chair?

• 1:20:40Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:20:40Stavros Halkias?

  What if they're geeing out this woman?

• 1:20:42Speaker 03

  Or what if?

• 1:20:43Stavros Halkias?

  What if the dad is sucking the guy's dick and fucking the lady?

• 1:20:46Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 1:20:47Stavros Halkias?

  Something to think about.

• 1:20:49Speaker 03

  MFM.

• 1:20:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what if this is an MMF situation?

• 1:20:52Speaker 03

  MMF situation, she's just getting, she's like, I need, she goes, now you're free.

• 1:20:57Stavros Halkias?

  But either way, whatever freaky shit your dad's up to.

• 1:21:00Speaker 03

  I mean, I hate to say this about your mom. But if you die in that situation, the ultimate cucking is being in heaven and watching.

• 1:21:08Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, true, well.

• 1:21:09Speaker 03

  That's the, heaven's the first cuck chair.

• 1:21:11Stavros Halkias?

  That is true, heaven is, heaven is the fucking, heaven is the first cuck chair.

• 1:21:15Speaker 04

  Well, I would imagine sex, I'd be like, stop. Above, you could at least jack off to it, and you're in hell, it's just all assholes.

• 1:21:23Speaker 03

  He was watching radio. I didn't even see nothing.

• 1:21:25Stavros Halkias?

  Your wife in doggy? Yeah. You just see her tits swing. You're like, stop! You seen his nuts? Yeah, it's just fucking like- Stop!

• 1:21:33Speaker 03

  Look at the force!

• 1:21:34Stavros Halkias?

  Residue dripping all over you.

• 1:21:36Speaker 03

  Oh my god, at least cover tits. I can't watch this bag of cake batter move around.

• 1:21:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, man, look at, this is what happens. People, you know, what do you want him to do? Never fuck again?

• 1:21:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:21:49Stavros Halkias?

  If it wasn't for friends-

• 1:21:50Speaker 03

  I'm honestly pumped for your dad and I've never met the man.

• 1:21:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:52Speaker 03

  And maybe this relaxes his tight conservative views.

• 1:21:58Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:21:59Speaker 03

  Cause now he's out here just getting sucked and fucked. Let him buy an MGB.

• 1:22:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:03Speaker 03

  Let him wear glasses and slick his hair back.

• 1:22:05Stavros Halkias?

  He's Texas dad now.

• 1:22:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude, he's full Texas dad.

• 1:22:08Stavros Halkias?

  He's down there in Texas.

• 1:22:09Speaker 03

  He's on testosterone, he's got peptides.

• 1:22:12Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah, shit, I need some of those too.

• 1:22:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's just doing peptides, fucking his friends.

• 1:22:17Stavros Halkias?

  What are peptides?

• 1:22:17Speaker 03

  I don't know, I've heard guys-

• 1:22:18Stavros Halkias?

  I think they're basically steroids, but better.

• 1:22:20Speaker 03

  I've just heard dudes say it.

• 1:22:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I'm in dude, I'm in. Whatever, whatever it will take to fix my back. Alright, so yeah, your dad's gonna fuck. Sorry it's your mom's friend, but...

• 1:22:33Speaker 03

  Him calling in to be like, really, anything could help? You go, ah, it sounds like your dad's getting new pussy.

• 1:22:38Stavros Halkias?

  What are you gonna do? Sit him down and be like, stop fucking, you know, Donna or whatever the fuck her name is?

• 1:22:43Speaker 03

  Did you know the last time I got new pussy? Doreen Nixon was leaving office.

• 1:22:48Stavros Halkias?

  It is weird for him to be like, my dad is a super conservative, super Catholic guy, but he's the one being like a prude. Yeah. About his dad like getting pussy, just cause he's like married. You're being a prude and also you're being naive by, of course you're fucking dumbass dad, hypocrite. There's nothing- They're all pieces of shit that don't believe anything. There's not, there's nothing in- Now they're pretending it's no big deal that Trump fucked kids. Is that against the religion to like, fuck somebody else after your wife dies? No, in fact, after your wife dies, I feel like that's kind of the one time you get new pussy legally.

• 1:23:18Speaker 03

  Check those bylaws.

• 1:23:20Stavros Halkias?

  God lets you get new pussy after your wife dies.

• 1:23:22Speaker 03

  He goes, whoa, that was very sad.

• 1:23:24Stavros Halkias?

  That happens in the bible a million times.

• 1:23:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, he goes, oh, Daniel, your wife has died. How about new pussy? Turn the page.

• 1:23:34Stavros Halkias?

  All right, well, fuck that guy. Next question. Well, not fuck you. Good, good luck.

• 1:23:38Speaker 03

  I'm sorry, man. Hey, listen, uh, this is an opportunity for you to humanize your father. He's a man just like you.

• 1:23:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yup.

• 1:23:46Speaker 03

  And he wants pussy, and this woman is the one breaking the marriage she has. Your dad at least waited till she died. So your dad, I would argue, not as bad as a person, and everyone knows when you fuck horrible people, it's good sex.

• 1:24:00Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 1:24:01Speaker 03

  Not the man, no.

• 1:24:01Stavros Halkias?

  I'm trying to think, who's the worst person I fucked and was the pussy good? I don't remember off the top of my head. Well, next question, Eldis.

• 1:24:11Speaker 09

  Hey, Savi, Eldis, and whoever else is there. Um, I have a bit of a strange question about my boyfriend. So we've been together for-

• 1:24:21Stavros Halkias?

  He's gay.

• 1:24:23Stavros Halkias?

  What's up? What's up? What's up, baby girl? How big are your tits? Your boyfriend's gay, show us your tits. Doesn't matter, let's go. I'll meet you in Texas.

• 1:24:36Speaker 09

  About my boyfriend. So we've been together for almost nine months, or almost 10 months now.

• 1:24:42Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:24:43Speaker 09

  Um, also, I'm 25, he's 27, soon to be 28. Um, and things have been going really, really great. Like, we've met each other's families, like, I'm-

• 1:24:52Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, that's cute.

• 1:24:53Speaker 09

  Like, 99% sure this is the love of my life, and like, we're in game. Um, and everything else is going really well. Um, and he asked me to do something recently that was a bit strange, and I genuinely don't know what to do about it.

• 1:25:10Stavros Halkias?

  I need you to hide the Hope Diamond in your pussy.

• 1:25:14Speaker 03

  I need you to break in.

• 1:25:15Stavros Halkias?

  What was the painting that was stolen? I was trying to pull it up.

• 1:25:17Speaker 03

  The, uh, didn't they-

• 1:25:19Stavros Halkias?

  They robbed a Louvre.

• 1:25:20Speaker 03

  They robbed it, but I don't know which one they robbed.

• 1:25:21Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I wanted to say, but it fell out of my head, or I just didn't know.

• 1:25:25Speaker 03

  Hope Diamond's better, funnier to put in your butt.

• 1:25:28Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, um, uh, the Mona Lisa. Yeah. I need you to put the Mona Lisa in your pussy. That's not bad, actually.

• 1:25:36Speaker 03

  She says that's fucking hot.

• 1:25:39Stavros Halkias?

  Roll that up. All right, what else? Eldis, go ahead.

• 1:25:42Speaker 09

  I genuinely don't know what to do about it, so we started as like a, a fling, like a casual relationship, just like, kinda hooking up. And like, the sex was really, really, really good. Um-

• 1:25:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I can relate to that.

• 1:25:55Speaker 09

  And also keep in mind that I-

• 1:25:56Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, is it me? Are you talking about me? Remember you?

• 1:26:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:26:01Stavros Halkias?

  I'm thirty-six. I'm not about to turn twenty-eight. Are you thinking of the right guy?

• 1:26:06Speaker 03

  Are you trying to change the numbers? So people won't know it's me?

• 1:26:14Speaker 04

  Ah, delete this one. It's about me.

• 1:26:18Speaker 03

  She goes, he comes so much. You go.

• 1:26:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:26:21Speaker 03

  Couldn't be anybody else.

• 1:26:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:26:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this is about me.

• 1:26:26Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, I remember that.

• 1:26:27Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:26:28Stavros Halkias?

  I thought a lot about my age. And I look so young. And I look so young. She believed me.

• 1:26:34Speaker 03

  You try talking to her like she's still on the phone? No, it's me. Hey, it's me.

• 1:26:37Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, it's me.

• 1:26:38Speaker 04

  If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again.

• 1:26:41Speaker 03

  Hey, it's me. Hey, pick up.

• 1:26:43Speaker 09

  Um, and also keep in mind that I lost my virginity a month before meeting him and have only been both four people in my life. So.

• 1:26:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, all of them. Nice, nice.

• 1:26:53Speaker 09

  He had, he really liked.

• 1:26:54Speaker 03

  This guy's like Mike Myers.

• 1:26:55Speaker 04

  Yeah. It's me as Dr. Evil. It's me as Bad Bastard.

• 1:27:00Speaker 03

  Your pussy is wet.

• 1:27:04Speaker 03

  It's wet.

• 1:27:04Speaker 04

  Hmm, how about you, Don? How about hole?

• 1:27:07Speaker 03

  I'm gonna come on your tits. Right.

• 1:27:11Speaker 04

  My penis with your freaking vagina on his head.

• 1:27:15Speaker 03

  I'm gonna shoot liquid hot magma on your tits.

• 1:27:20Speaker 04

  It's awesome. One million busts.

• 1:27:25Stavros Halkias?

  Austin Bowers, any of his dialogue would work. It's all he talks about is getting pussy. Go ahead, Aldous.

• 1:27:32Speaker 09

  The bar was set low for him and he exceeded it. Um.

• 1:27:36Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 1:27:36Speaker 09

  And recently, we watched a video where a girl, a black girl, was like sitting and kissing on her boyfriend and.

• 1:27:47Speaker 04

  Oh, the gold member deleted scene.

• 1:27:51Speaker 09

  See that he likes that? And he wants me to do that. And like, don't get me wrong, like, I have my own kinks and things like that.

• 1:28:02Stavros Halkias?

  No, you don't.

• 1:28:03Speaker 03

  Girl, right now, don't you dare try to run up and pissing and shitting on someone's face.

• 1:28:08Stavros Halkias?

  Lightly choke.

• 1:28:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, because your hair pull makes you feel nasty. This guy is trying to get happy.

• 1:28:15Stavros Halkias?

  Also shit and piss, it's like not just piss. Once you get shit and piss at the same time.

• 1:28:21Speaker 04

  Shit is a bridge too far.

• 1:28:23Stavros Halkias?

  Piss, it's like, alright, I'm not pumped.

• 1:28:25Speaker 03

  Also.

• 1:28:25Stavros Halkias?

  But I'll hear you out.

• 1:28:26Speaker 03

  At least Hitler was on methamphetamines. This guy's stone sober going, I want to watch you shit.

• 1:28:33Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, shit is crazy.

• 1:28:35Speaker 03

  When he was making Ava, when he was shitting on Ava Braun was fucking.

• 1:28:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:39Speaker 04

  Here's what I, we can do, because I'm thirty seven, I'm not a young lady like this. I can send you some of my shit to show him.

• 1:28:48Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:28:49Speaker 04

  And once this guy sees the kind of shit that comes out of a thirty seven year old man's body, I don't think he'll be into shit anymore.

• 1:28:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, he'll go, why does it change like that? And then I'll, I'll, and then that's when I come in.

• 1:29:00Stavros Halkias?

  There's pennies from nineteen seventy three.

• 1:29:01Speaker 03

  And then, and then that's when I'll kick in with my forty two year old shit. And I'll go, it barely keeps forms anymore.

• 1:29:08Speaker 04

  Does it get worse? I don't know how it gets worse.

• 1:29:10Speaker 03

  It plateaus, gets worse, gets better, plateaus again. You get a V dip.

• 1:29:16Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 1:29:17Speaker 04

  Mine, I think.

• 1:29:18Speaker 03

  The consistency in my forties is what, you know?

• 1:29:21Stavros Halkias?

  That's what you're chasing?

• 1:29:22Speaker 03

  It's like an older quarterback.

• 1:29:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:23Speaker 03

  He's not gonna throw it down the yard, but he's not gonna get spooked by, by the pocket class.

• 1:29:28Speaker 04

  I mean, me, I get, it's like Pirates of the Caribbean down there. It's crazy.

• 1:29:31Speaker 03

  Mine, I would say most of the shitting in my twenties was mulch like, because of my drinking. So this, I would.

• 1:29:38Stavros Halkias?

  I know mulch shit. I know about mulch shit.

• 1:29:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know that life.

• 1:29:41Stavros Halkias?

  So, alright, this girl, this guy wants to shit and piss on her, right? And she's like, what should I do?

• 1:29:46Speaker 04

  Oh, he, no, he wants her to shit and piss on him.

• 1:29:49Stavros Halkias?

  She wants her, he wants her to shit and piss on him. Now. I think.

• 1:29:53Speaker 04

  There's one more detail. He said it this one time and it hasn't come up since. But she's wondering if she should open it up.

• 1:30:00Speaker 03

  Well, he's into it.

• 1:30:01Stavros Halkias?

  Well, yeah, that means he definitely wants.

• 1:30:04Speaker 04

  I'm gonna throw a wild card in here, taking the whole situation in its entire context. But part of the story was that she's expressed that she's more experienced than he is.

• 1:30:13Stavros Halkias?

  She's not.

• 1:30:13Speaker 03

  She's not. He's more experienced.

• 1:30:15Speaker 04

  She lost her virginity like right before they started dating and she said she's only been with like four people. And then, but didn't she say that he has not?

• 1:30:23Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:30:23Speaker 03

  No, he's much more experienced.

• 1:30:25Stavros Halkias?

  Well, theoretically, yeah.

• 1:30:27Speaker 03

  I, this is a jump from high school to the NBA. That's why they don't do this anymore.

• 1:30:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this, like, look.

• 1:30:33Speaker 04

  They shit and piss on each other in the NBA?

• 1:30:35Speaker 03

  All over. That's how they get all the names.

• 1:30:37Speaker 04

  I gotta start watching basketball.

• 1:30:41Speaker 03

  I gotta download this draft case app.

• 1:30:44Stavros Halkias?

  Um, dude, so, look, I would go back to the fact that she said 99% sure it's the love of her life. I'm gonna go ahead and knock that down a couple of percentage points.

• 1:30:53Speaker 03

  Well, also, she just had sex.

• 1:30:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:57Speaker 03

  So she thinks everybody's the love of her life.

• 1:30:59Stavros Halkias?

  I, I, I don't know. I think like, look, you don't go, you putting love of your life on this relationship is kinda nuts.

• 1:31:06Speaker 04

  That's also not real. There's no such thing as the love of your life.

• 1:31:10Speaker 03

  It's just the person you're with the longest.

• 1:31:12Speaker 04

  You find somebody that's in roughly the same socio-economic bracket as you. Like, I mean, they speak the same language.

• 1:31:20Speaker 03

  That's big.

• 1:31:21Speaker 04

  I mean, that's, that's what it is.

• 1:31:22Speaker 03

  Sometimes they don't.

• 1:31:23Stavros Halkias?

  Companionship. Basic companionship.

• 1:31:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, but you can find companions. It's like you need somebody that's a good roommate.

• 1:31:30Speaker 03

  Agreed.

• 1:31:31Speaker 04

  Mullen the romantic. A lot of people would ask, what's Nick been up to? He's been writing romantic poetry.

• 1:31:37Speaker 04

  I love the way you pay half the rent.

• 1:31:42Speaker 03

  Let's split the bill. Let me count the ways.

• 1:31:45Speaker 04

  Roses are red, violets are blue. T-Mobile has a deal for two lines.

• 1:31:50Speaker 03

  What say you?

• 1:31:51Speaker 04

  69, 92.

• 1:31:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's working for Hallmark, writing these like, they call it stepping over the bar.

• 1:32:01Speaker 04

  Both of us are allergic to dogs, so we got a cat and now there's an Instagram.

• 1:32:07Speaker 04

  And that's good enough for me.

• 1:32:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, look, if you don't want to get shit and piss on, I got bad news. This is not the love of your life.

• 1:32:18Speaker 03

  You're gonna have to get out, cuz this will be brought up, and then if it never happens, he will cheat on you and say it's because you don't.

• 1:32:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, or you'll wake up one day, you'll be getting waterboarded with diarrhea.

• 1:32:28Speaker 04

  I think it might, something about that just reads to me like this might be him reaching for something.

• 1:32:34Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:32:35Speaker 04

  Like he's like, he misread something, yeah, right, he misread, you're talking about this guy like, you know, you're calling into a fucking podcast being like, and the bar was set pretty low, but he exceeded it or whatever, it's like, maybe this lady is having weird conversations with this guy where it's like.

• 1:32:52Stavros Halkias?

  About how good he is.

• 1:32:52Speaker 04

  Cuz it doesn't matter, he could be like, I only fuck four guys, so you don't have much to worry about, but then that guy's like, fuck, four guys.

• 1:33:00Speaker 04

  You know what I mean? She's like, no, I haven't had a relationship before, I just, you know, there was this guy, and he was like seven foot three, and, you know.

• 1:33:08Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:33:09Speaker 04

  And it was, but you know, it was almost, it was like too big, and so, you know, and then that got in his head, and like, maybe he's like, yeah, right, and then this guy's

• 1:33:16Speaker 03

  And then the next guy, he couldn't get enough.

• 1:33:18Speaker 04

  Yeah. We could have had a relationship, but he had to go to prison, and so, I don't, you know, like.

• 1:33:24Speaker 03

  What did he do, he goes, kill the guy in self-defense.

• 1:33:26Speaker 04

  He robbed, he robbed a bank with his penis.

• 1:33:29Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:33:30Speaker 04

  He smashed open the bank, he fucked the bank vault open, and then, but then they caught him because he fucked the money as well, I don't know, something along those lines, so maybe it's like this guy is not, you know, why were you watching porn together? It seems like this situation is like overly sexualized, and maybe something has accidentally happened to this guy's head, cuz that's a crazy jump to.

• 1:33:53Speaker 03

  Shit and piss is crazy.

• 1:33:54Stavros Halkias?

  I know what you're saying, but I just think unfortunately, it might be Occam's razor here, you might just want shit and piss on him.

• 1:34:00Speaker 04

  I know, I'm just offering an alternative explanation.

• 1:34:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, but what about.

• 1:34:03Speaker 04

  It's my job as an intelligence analyst, to think, what could be the other story?

• 1:34:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:08Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:34:08Speaker 03

  He's a detective, he's working all his clues.

• 1:34:11Stavros Halkias?

  So, yeah, monitor the situation, he probably is gonna want this the rest of his life, if that's not something you want, move on, sister, you're still young.

• 1:34:19Speaker 04

  Or stay with him, and then, you know, you don't have to worry about that stuff until you guys are together still at age 70, when you are incontinent, and then it just happens incidentally.

• 1:34:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, honestly, he could probably just find where you do it and roll around in it.

• 1:34:34Stavros Halkias?

  I think the thrill is probably the hot, fresh shit.

• 1:34:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think he wants it right out of the machine. He wants the donut that got plopped right down.

• 1:34:41Stavros Halkias?

  The one element that seems that I might understand is the temperature.

• 1:34:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, he doesn't want reheated poop.

• 1:34:47Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I don't want to get shit on either way, but I'd rather, I guess I'd rather have body temperature shit than cold shit and piss.

• 1:34:55Speaker 03

  But him being so desperate that he goes and rolls around in it.

• 1:34:57Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no good. So, yeah, good luck, sister.

• 1:35:00Speaker 04

  Or, you know what? Just do it once.

• 1:35:03Stavros Halkias?

  Do it once.

• 1:35:04Speaker 04

  Do it once, because either way, it's like, either you do it once, he loves it, you gotta break up with him.

• 1:35:07Speaker 03

  He's gonna think you're gonna do it again.

• 1:35:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, do it once.

• 1:35:10Speaker 03

  Give him out some cookies.

• 1:35:10Stavros Halkias?

  What if he loves it?

• 1:35:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, what if you like it? You do it once, he hates it. Win. If you, like, just ignore it, this is gonna become a festering problem.

• 1:35:18Stavros Halkias?

  Either way, you will get more valuable information, because you will either know, do I like it? Does he like it?

• 1:35:24Speaker 03

  Also, you learn, like, can you shit and piss on command?

• 1:35:27Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good skill to have.

• 1:35:29Speaker 03

  Honestly, I wish I had the piss on command better at sports games.

• 1:35:32Speaker 04

  And this is not a thing where he can, like, cheat on you. You know what I mean?

• 1:35:36Speaker 03

  Well, if he does.

• 1:35:36Speaker 04

  It's not like this guy can, like, go secretly meet a woman somewhere. Like, the, the level of investment into, because he has to go through this whole process with somebody else.

• 1:35:44Stavros Halkias?

  I think we're talking about specialized sex workers here, if you're gonna cheat.

• 1:35:47Speaker 03

  Are they, like, is that like a?

• 1:35:49Stavros Halkias?

  High-fiber diet prostitutes?

• 1:35:51Speaker 03

  Do you think there's, like, a SEAL Team Six that comes in and will shit on your chest if you hire them?

• 1:35:55Stavros Halkias?

  Definitely, like, people who specialize in shit.

• 1:35:58Speaker 03

  That's crazy. Imagine being.

• 1:35:59Stavros Halkias?

  Norton, I guarantee you knows about this.

• 1:36:02Speaker 03

  Imagine being a hooker's boyfriend for, that's tough. But the second one, that shits on people?

• 1:36:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:07Speaker 03

  And she's like, sorry, I need my.

• 1:36:08Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, eat, finish your Grape-Nuts, or we're not gonna be able to get rent this month.

• 1:36:11Speaker 03

  Yeah. I need you to, I need you to down this protein shake. You have been watery and see-through for a long time.

• 1:36:19Stavros Halkias?

  I've heard a lot of complaints. Eat your kale.

• 1:36:21Speaker 03

  Pimping, pimping a girl out, but he's like, you gotta shit, baby.

• 1:36:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, have some garbanzo beans.

• 1:36:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, we gotta.

• 1:36:29Stavros Halkias?

  You fucking whore. Eat your fucking garbanzos, you bitch.

• 1:36:36Speaker 04

  That'd be a cool pimp who specializes in that. He's got a cane with a toilet on top. He's just got all porcelain jewelry.

• 1:36:45Speaker 03

  He goes, "You know, you know the difference between the United States and Australia."

• 1:36:48Speaker 04

  "What's up, baby? They call me Flush."

• 1:36:50Speaker 03

  He goes, "Flush, the difference is the toilet flushes backwards now." "You treat me like an Australian toilet." "You flushing the other way, bitch."

• 1:37:00Stavros Halkias?

  "The money can't be going that way, baby. It gotta come this way."

• 1:37:04Speaker 03

  "The money gotta come flushes way."

• 1:37:05Stavros Halkias?

  "The money come to Flush."

• 1:37:07Speaker 03

  "Now, listen here, baby girl."

• 1:37:08Speaker 04

  "They call me Royal Flush."

• 1:37:09Stavros Halkias?

  "This ain't Australia."

• 1:37:11Speaker 03

  "First week, I put a bitch on tortilla diet." "Just tortilla." "I got that bitch eating nothing but carbohydrates." "Second week, that's when the attack happens."

• 1:37:23Speaker 04

  All right, next question, Eldis.

• 1:37:26Speaker 10

  Hi, Stav. Hi, Eldis. Hi, guest. I'm a first-time caller, just got a really tricky one here.

• 1:37:34Speaker 04

  Oh, we'll see about that.

• 1:37:35Speaker 10

  I work in a job that has commission as part of the, uh, the pay package. And one of the ways we work towards closing deals is to get on this select list. And to get onto that select list, you have to have a certain amount of conversations with clients. Certain amount of contacts in a month.

• 1:37:58Speaker 04

  Can I pass real quick? Of course. Uh, right, right behind Eldis on the left. Play us a call, you're the gay sex man.

• 1:38:05Speaker 10

  I'm sort of new in my branch. There's a couple of people who've been here for 10 years, 15 years, 25 years. And I've recently found that the information is public and found that they are all capping like crazy. They're all faking the amount of contacts and conversations they have with clients. They'll meet with a couple and they count it as four contacts instead of two. They'll count random things they do with contacts that aren't. And I'm sort of in a tough position just because it will make a lot of-

• 1:38:37Speaker 04

  When I joined Cutco, I thought this was a- This is like- Upstanding society.

• 1:38:40Speaker 03

  I thought we were putting good cutlery in there.

• 1:38:42Speaker 04

  Tattletale night with these fucking calls. Or like, "Oh, my dad is doing something." "He went to church when he's fucking-"

• 1:38:48Speaker 03

  "Stop my dad from getting pussy."

• 1:38:51Speaker 04

  "And RIP your mother again." "The other people at work are cheating."

• 1:38:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, for real. Okay, keep going, Elders.

• 1:38:57Speaker 10

  Just because it will make a lot of people unhappy. Um, but it will be more fair if I was to mention this to my manager.

• 1:39:08Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck are you?

• 1:39:09Speaker 10

  I'm leaning towards not mentioning it.

• 1:39:11Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, you think they don't know?

• 1:39:13Speaker 10

  Too many people unhappy.

• 1:39:15Stavros Halkias?

  This guy thinks his managers don't know his coworkers are lying. You think you're the guy who figured it all out? This is insane, dude. What a naive guy.

• 1:39:24Speaker 03

  I would be, if I listened to your podcast and I recognized this voice as a guy I worked with, it would create an instant villain for me.

• 1:39:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 1:39:35Speaker 03

  I'm gonna kill this motherfucker.

• 1:39:36Stavros Halkias?

  This isn't fair. How is this above board?

• 1:39:38Speaker 04

  And at work, he's the guy wearing like a Stav shirt and a Stav hat.

• 1:39:44Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:39:47Speaker 03

  This guy's three weeks till he's coming through town.

• 1:39:49Speaker 04

  He's got that calendar in his cubicle. And they're like, well.

• 1:39:53Speaker 03

  He tries to do his own, but it's shit here. I did my own Stav calendar. No one asked. I thought people wanted it.

• 1:40:01Speaker 04

  He's like, he's like rail thin and it's him upside. He's a fucking asshole.

• 1:40:05Speaker 03

  You can see his whole dick and balls.

• 1:40:06Speaker 04

  He's an asshole.

• 1:40:07Speaker 03

  You can see everything.

• 1:40:08Speaker 04

  He's trying to give it to the, the woman he works with.

• 1:40:11Speaker 03

  I did it. No, are you, do you know Stavros? No, here, I'll show you his special.

• 1:40:16Stavros Halkias?

  And he's just like, sits like this while they watch it on his phone.

• 1:40:19Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:40:20Stavros Halkias?

  They're like, ha, ha, ha.

• 1:40:21Speaker 03

  All right, he goes, so he's from Baltimore. They're explaining Ronnie, the character in their cubicle, and he goes, I don't like football. I don't like football. I don't watch it.

• 1:40:32Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, what is this tattletale speech, motherfucker, after else to say?

• 1:40:35Speaker 10

  A lot of payoff. Like, I wouldn't be making that much more money.

• 1:40:39Stavros Halkias?

  You're not the Joker, dude.

• 1:40:41Speaker 10

  Sort of just my bone of desire for justice and fairness that makes me want to say something. And I also work with somebody else who wants to say something. Um, because it, it does take away from what we can make, but, um.

• 1:40:55Stavros Halkias?

  Just also, dude.

• 1:40:56Speaker 10

  Just don't think it's enough payoff. And, uh.

• 1:40:59Stavros Halkias?

  This guy thinks he's fucking Sherpa, dude.

• 1:41:01Speaker 04

  Yeah. Look, take that energy, buy it, and go to Minneapolis and.

• 1:41:08Speaker 04

  If you're that concerned.

• 1:41:10Stavros Halkias?

  If you want to talk about truth and justice.

• 1:41:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, right. Go.

• 1:41:17Speaker 03

  You can't even find them anymore.

• 1:41:18Speaker 04

  In Minecraft or whatever.

• 1:41:19Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll bleep it.

• 1:41:20Speaker 04

  Whatever you gotta say.

• 1:41:20Speaker 07

  We'll bleep just enough, don't worry.

• 1:41:21Speaker 04

  No, just add the Minecraft parts. Minecraft is fine.

• 1:41:25Speaker 03

  I can't believe these people are selling gym memberships to people who aren't gonna go anymore.

• 1:41:32Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, the world is bullshit. You work at a dumb company. It doesn't matter. You're talking about justice?

• 1:41:38Speaker 03

  Unless your owner of the company's name is the company's name, you can't go to anybody.

• 1:41:44Stavros Halkias?

  That's 100% true.

• 1:41:46Speaker 03

  It's like if you go to like Tom Duracell of Duracell Batteries.

• 1:41:49Speaker 04

  I'm trying to think what this industry could possibly be where you would get that fired up about it. And nothing is, I'm like maybe-

• 1:41:54Speaker 03

  Child cancer medication?

• 1:41:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, like medical equipment or something or like, but no, there's nothing.

• 1:41:59Stavros Halkias?

  But all he's talking, all he's mad about is that these people are juicing their meeting stats or whatever.

• 1:42:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, right.

• 1:42:04Speaker 07

  He said, he said if you like, say that you have enough meetings with people, you get like, uh, better leads or, you know.

• 1:42:12Stavros Halkias?

  So dude, you're, you like go to the front of the line to make more sales or something.

• 1:42:15Speaker 03

  Is it all salesmanship bullshit?

• 1:42:17Stavros Halkias?

  You're, you're, you're in sales. You're bad guy. Every, every sales-

• 1:42:21Speaker 04

  It's Shelley Levine, dude.

• 1:42:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it is. It really is.

• 1:42:24Speaker 03

  It really is.

• 1:42:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:42:25Speaker 03

  Well, first you're selling and then they love you.

• 1:42:27Stavros Halkias?

  Stop giving all these Indians.

• 1:42:28Speaker 04

  If you can't back your man, you're shit. You're worse than shit. You're scum.

• 1:42:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, wasn't, wasn't the big plot point that they were, the guys were mad that they were getting Indian leads or whatever? They were getting Patel's or whatever?

• 1:42:37Speaker 04

  They were getting the bad leads and then fucking Shelley Levine breaks in and steals the good leads.

• 1:42:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:42Speaker 04

  And then he lets it slip when he's trying to shit all over.

• 1:42:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:45Speaker 04

  Uh, Williamson? What's his name?

• 1:42:47Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, dude, you're fucked. Stop, stop thinking life is fair. You work in sales. You're a scumbag.

• 1:42:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, if, if anything, get blackmail on the most important person at that company.

• 1:42:57Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:42:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, use that information to your benefit. Don't do me a tattletale.

• 1:43:01Stavros Halkias?

  Just also start cheating.

• 1:43:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:43:03Stavros Halkias?

  It's, you're not in a, you're not in a, in a, in an industry where like morality exists or matters.

• 1:43:09Speaker 03

  Hey, you know what? The first salesman that told me that things weren't working well here. I've got a bonus for that. A two million dollar bonus.

• 1:43:20Stavros Halkias?

  You think it's that or getting fired? Cause if there's, if I had to pick one of two.

• 1:43:24Speaker 03

  Charles, this is the first time anyone's been honest and I've been waiting for this.

• 1:43:27Speaker 04

  No, people like that usually like if you probably, if you told your boss, you'd get fired.

• 1:43:31Speaker 03

  Yes. He would turn around and go, shut the fuck up. I can't put this in a report.

• 1:43:34Stavros Halkias?

  Pussy.

• 1:43:35Speaker 03

  Pussy.

• 1:43:36Stavros Halkias?

  Who do you think started that? If you tell. Who started that, got promoted and now is the boss?

• 1:43:39Speaker 04

  If you tell your boss about a systemic problem, you're, you are the problem.

• 1:43:44Speaker 03

  He reads it and he's like, are you fucking with me?

• 1:43:48Stavros Halkias?

  You didn't email this, right? This isn't, this isn't in the company logs.

• 1:43:51Speaker 03

  Whoa, have you talked about this?

• 1:43:52Stavros Halkias?

  We can make this go away, right? I want you to keep your job.

• 1:43:55Speaker 03

  You're the.

• 1:43:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you put it in writing? Okay. Well, you're fired.

• 1:43:59Speaker 03

  Uh, thank you for your time. I don't know what to tell you.

• 1:44:02Speaker 04

  Now I really wanna watch Glenn Gary Glenn Ross.

• 1:44:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:44:06Speaker 04

  And anytime I've mentioned it.

• 1:44:08Speaker 03

  You got Jack Lemmon fever?

• 1:44:10Speaker 04

  Yeah. Big time. Big time. If I go across the street, they had it at Village East or something, that'd be, that'd be perfect tonight. Go get some Chinese food and watch.

• 1:44:19Stavros Halkias?

  It's not bad. I don't think they're showing Glenn Gary Glenn Ross.

• 1:44:21Speaker 04

  I know, but I'll call over there. Use your grown man voice and call over there.

• 1:44:25Speaker 03

  If my friend Nick Mullen coming over to watch.

• 1:44:27Speaker 04

  Can you put Glenn Gary Glenn Ross on?

• 1:44:30Speaker 03

  If you don't, I'm gonna send ICE.

• 1:44:34Stavros Halkias?

  Does it curse a she/her on the phone?

• 1:44:37Speaker 03

  Someone is very upset.

• 1:44:39Stavros Halkias?

  Hey everyone, it's Stavros Halkias and I'm here to tell you about my podcast, Stavvy's World. Each week we're joined by great guests like Josh Safdie, Eric Andre, Caleb Heron and more. It's sort of an interview show, but really we're just messing around, making each other laugh and hopefully making you laugh while you're washing the dishes or grocery shopping or on a long drive. Plus I take listener calls where we have honest conversations about dating, life and everything in between. Imagine if your therapist was a vulgar degenerate whose office was in a Greek diner. No scripts, no polish and absolutely no holding back. Listen to Stavvy's World wherever you get your podcasts.

• 1:45:19Speaker 05

  Fall is a vibe. So what's yours? Do you go wild? Or get a little nostalgic? Do you like to cozy up indoors? Or kick it outdoors? Whatever you fall for. Get shoes to get you. We've got the trends. You bring the vibes.

• 1:45:44Speaker 05

  DSW, let us surprise you.

• 1:45:48Speaker 03

  Give us something fun to go out on, Eldis.

• 1:45:51Speaker 11

  Bobby, baby. How we doing?

• 1:45:54Speaker 03

  We're doing great.

• 1:45:55Speaker 11

  Hello, Eldis. Hello, amazing guest. I hope you're all doing wonderful and as beautiful as your faces are. So I have a quickie question.

• 1:46:07Speaker 11

  I can't really give any trigger warnings here. I don't think I really need to. So my grandpa passed away a few years ago and we're just now getting through all of his stuff.

• 1:46:22Speaker 03

  Guys, you can't do grandpa deaths with Nick.

• 1:46:24Speaker 04

  I was raped by a grandpa.

• 1:46:26Speaker 03

  It wasn't even his.

• 1:46:28Speaker 04

  You can't say grandpa.

• 1:46:29Speaker 03

  You can't say grandpa around Nick. That's where he's been.

• 1:46:35Speaker 03

  We've been trying to fix this. Go ahead, Eldis.

• 1:46:38Speaker 11

  ... we're just now getting through all of his stuff.

• 1:46:42Speaker 03

  Shout out, I went through that. Oh, yeah?

• 1:46:44Speaker 11

  I've run into a bit of an issue in donating his things and that he had

• 1:46:50Speaker 03

  Just too much Nazi memorabilia?

• 1:46:52Speaker 11

  A small mountain of porn. No way to say that. He had a small It's gotta be over 100 magazines, my guy. And we're talking

• 1:47:01Speaker 03

  First off, you are so lucky you're finding magazines. What a fucking chicken and rice version of porn. That shit is so tame. It's so tame. It's like, you can put them on eBay. You can put old Playboys on eBay. You can make money off that porn. I kinda want, I want some porno mags. Vintage porn. You're so lucky that it wasn't eight millimeter footage of a boy that was missing on a metal carton. Like you could have found something in your grandpa's stash that you're like, oh my god.

• 1:47:35Stavros Halkias?

  You said you went through your grandma's stuff?

• 1:47:37Speaker 03

  Ah dude, I was worried about it. I found one letter of my dad being pussy whipped when he was 25. After he divorced his first wife. Very funny to read that.

• 1:47:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:46Speaker 03

  Cause he's like, he's got new pussy like that kid's dad and he's like, she's the best. She's the best thing I've ever had in my life. And my mom dated my dad like a year or two later and I was like, do you know about this lady? And she was like, no, that was, your dad lived in Southern California. I didn't know shit was going on down there.

• 1:48:01Stavros Halkias?

  That's beautiful. Like just one generation ago, we knew so much less about everyone.

• 1:48:07Speaker 03

  Dude, it made them-

• 1:48:07Stavros Halkias?

  We didn't need to low, ever-

• 1:48:09Speaker 03

  That's why standards were higher.

• 1:48:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:11Speaker 03

  You didn't have proof-

• 1:48:12Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you were lying, cause you were lying like that last guy. Everyone was pretending to be better than they were.

• 1:48:16Speaker 04

  You were allowed to lie all the time. That's why, I mean, I've said it a million times, but like the Elizabeth Warren getting like fucking canceled over the Pocahontas thing is bullshit.

• 1:48:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:26Speaker 04

  That's like, if you met-

• 1:48:27Stavros Halkias?

  That's one of the most classic white people thing to say.

• 1:48:29Speaker 04

  It makes her more authentic for her to be like, well, yeah, that's my Cherokee eyelid.

• 1:48:33Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 1:48:34Speaker 04

  You know, it's, I'm 132nd Cherokee. So anytime it's a little rainy out there-

• 1:48:38Speaker 03

  Before she got in trouble for that, white people, we would always pull it up when they'd have to do anything with nature. Where you go, actually I could tell the mud is wet. I'm a 14th Arapaho.

• 1:48:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, right, right, right.

• 1:48:49Stavros Halkias?

  I come from trackers. A long line of trackers.

• 1:48:53Speaker 03

  That eagle senses water. I can hear it from it screeching.

• 1:48:57Stavros Halkias?

  No, truly, literally every white kid I grew up with-

• 1:49:00Speaker 03

  Dude, I grew up in Colorado.

• 1:49:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:01Speaker 03

  Everybody's personality was that. You know how much teal people were wearing? Cause they said they had an uncle's standing rock.

• 1:49:07Speaker 04

  A folksy lie like that is authentic.

• 1:49:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:11Speaker 04

  And then the people were like, oh, well, that makes her a liar. It's like, no, it doesn't.

• 1:49:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm with you.

• 1:49:16Speaker 04

  Pretending she wants universal healthcare. That makes her a liar.

• 1:49:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, pretending she keeps shit about us at all. I, this woman, you've-

• 1:49:24Stavros Halkias?

  It's okay.

• 1:49:24Speaker 03

  You sell it.

• 1:49:25Stavros Halkias?

  She found some porno, is there more porno mags?

• 1:49:27Speaker 11

  We're talking full bush. We're talking 80s, 60s, 70s.

• 1:49:34Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:49:35Speaker 11

  Like, I don't know if it's-

• 1:49:36Speaker 03

  Dude, what is this, 2005?

• 1:49:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:38Speaker 03

  80s, 90s and now?

• 1:49:40Speaker 04

  And you're saying it in a way as if it's bad. You're, we're talking playboy.

• 1:49:47Speaker 03

  Club International.

• 1:49:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, right.

• 1:49:49Speaker 03

  Hustler.

• 1:49:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're talking.

• 1:49:51Stavros Halkias?

  I love this.

• 1:49:51Speaker 04

  Articles.

• 1:49:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:54Speaker 03

  Interviews with Terry Bradshaw.

• 1:49:57Speaker 04

  I'm not here, you're saying it like it's bad, but it seems like.

• 1:50:00Speaker 03

  An upcoming look at the second season of Alf.

• 1:50:03Speaker 11

  I found it like years ago and then um in going through all this stuff, I found the whole stash. We've got VHS, we've got cassette. We've got um a couple Game Boy games. Um, yeah, so.

• 1:50:18Speaker 04

  Porn?

• 1:50:19Speaker 11

  My question is, what, what should I do with this?

• 1:50:22Speaker 04

  Sell it.

• 1:50:23Speaker 11

  Do I donate it? Do I take it to my local uh sex shop and you know, maybe they can do something with it?

• 1:50:30Speaker 04

  This is a goldmine.

• 1:50:31Speaker 11

  Yeah, I don't know. What should I do with all this porn?

• 1:50:34Stavros Halkias?

  Can you send us some? First of all, we would be honored to have some of your.

• 1:50:38Speaker 04

  To have some of your grandfather's pornography in the new studio.

• 1:50:42Speaker 03

  First, uh, not, not only that, but I mean, Nick and I would have to come back if you did an unveiling. We need to go through it.

• 1:50:48Stavros Halkias?

  I would love that.

• 1:50:49Speaker 03

  Send it to Stoff.

• 1:50:50Speaker 04

  I would love to have an autistic YouTube channel where I do pornography unboxing. Like hard card? Okay, welcome to Pussy Surprises. Okay, today's box.

• 1:51:00Speaker 03

  Hey, it's Glory Hole. It's Nick.

• 1:51:02Speaker 04

  We're ripping wax here today on Pussy Surprises.

• 1:51:04Speaker 03

  Oh, this is a vivid movie.

• 1:51:06Speaker 04

  Oh, wow, her clit. Oh, wow.

• 1:51:08Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 1:51:08Speaker 04

  Oh, oh, wow, they're burning her clit with a branding iron.

• 1:51:11Speaker 03

  This is a classic, this is a classic Rocco Siffredi movie.

• 1:51:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. Well, Rocco, renowned for his girth.

• 1:51:18Stavros Halkias?

  That would be awesome, being like asexual porno.

• 1:51:23Speaker 03

  A guy that clearly isn't moved by it.

• 1:51:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:26Speaker 04

  Oh, it's nice. Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

• 1:51:29Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 1:51:29Speaker 04

  Oh, this is hard card, this card stock is really, it's much thicker than most.

• 1:51:32Speaker 03

  He actually, he's holding her up while he's giving her anal.

• 1:51:35Speaker 04

  You could get maybe twenty to twenty-seven dollars at this at the local flea market.

• 1:51:39Speaker 03

  Please send in your porn stuff.

• 1:51:42Stavros Halkias?

  We would love some of your grandfather's pornography, but if you don't want to send it to us, yeah, you should sell this. You will honestly make a killing on this.

• 1:51:50Speaker 03

  You'll make thousands of dollars.

• 1:51:51Stavros Halkias?

  This is a, you're sitting on a goldmine for real.

• 1:51:54Speaker 07

  Or if you have a nephew or something, it could be a nice family heirloom.

• 1:51:56Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:51:57Speaker 07

  Pass along some porn.

• 1:51:58Speaker 03

  Does she sound, does she sound black at all? Cause if this is classic.

• 1:52:01Speaker 04

  When it started, yes.

• 1:52:02Speaker 03

  If she, if this is classic black pornography.

• 1:52:04Stavros Halkias?

  When it started.

• 1:52:05Speaker 04

  When it started, she had like a sultry kinda, there was like a.

• 1:52:08Stavros Halkias?

  She just sounds silly, we listened.

• 1:52:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, towards the end, it doesn't, it didn't. It sounded like.

• 1:52:13Stavros Halkias?

  I think she sounded black as well.

• 1:52:15Speaker 04

  I, I did it first.

• 1:52:17Speaker 03

  But I'm saying if you get like old, old time eighties, like blaxploitation seventies porn.

• 1:52:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great point. You know, she also could be mixed.

• 1:52:26Speaker 03

  Great.

• 1:52:27Stavros Halkias?

  Could have, it could be a white grandfather.

• 1:52:29Speaker 03

  Her white side?

• 1:52:30Stavros Halkias?

  Or she could not, she could not be either of these. She could be.

• 1:52:32Speaker 03

  She's a white lady.

• 1:52:33Stavros Halkias?

  Vietnamese for all we know.

• 1:52:34Speaker 03

  I would love that. Let's get, then we're getting into Gary Gitter. Gary Glitter territory.

• 1:52:40Stavros Halkias?

  Um, either way, but that's true.

• 1:52:43Speaker 04

  Gary, Gary, Gary Gitter, Gary Gitter Done, how about that?

• 1:52:45Speaker 03

  Uh, those.

• 1:52:46Speaker 04

  Fun character.

• 1:52:48Speaker 03

  That's a fun.

• 1:52:48Speaker 04

  Gary Gitter.

• 1:52:49Speaker 03

  Shit, Lorne Michaels is like.

• 1:52:50Speaker 04

  Larry Gitter Done.

• 1:52:51Speaker 03

  He goes, we're gonna do, we're gonna do it three times.

• 1:52:54Stavros Halkias?

  Larry Glitter Done?

• 1:52:55Speaker 04

  Larry Glitter Done.

• 1:52:56Stavros Halkias?

  Glitter Done.

• 1:52:57Speaker 03

  Glitter Done, ba bam bam bam.

• 1:53:01Speaker 04

  Larry the Cable Pet.

• 1:53:02Speaker 03

  Play it from the beginning though.

• 1:53:04Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:53:05Speaker 03

  Or is it, is it call over?

• 1:53:06Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead, play, you can play it.

• 1:53:08Speaker 11

  Bobby baby, how we doing? Um, hello eldest.

• 1:53:13Stavros Halkias?

  We don't have to, we don't have to figure out this girl sounds black. I, we're not doing this.

• 1:53:19Speaker 04

  Tell us if you're black and send us your porn.

• 1:53:21Stavros Halkias?

  We're not doing this. We'll take it to pornography no matter what your race is.

• 1:53:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh absolutely.

• 1:53:26Stavros Halkias?

  But either way, either way, you should sell it. You should sell this porno.

• 1:53:30Speaker 03

  Send some to you.

• 1:53:31Stavros Halkias?

  This is a lot, no joke, she's, this probably is worth a lot. Like vintage porno in pretty good condition.

• 1:53:36Speaker 04

  It would have to be an amazing, cause they've turned everything into a collector thing now. Like basically, and you can be.

• 1:53:42Stavros Halkias?

  Everything's rated?

• 1:53:43Speaker 04

  You can be, yes, everything's fucking rated. So if it's like, if you've touched it, it's already worthless. But if it's still in the package.

• 1:53:49Stavros Halkias?

  I feel like there's gotta be more grace for porno mags, given how bad they can.

• 1:53:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, but they don't put them in those sleeves like comic books.

• 1:53:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, if they're in a sleeve, I mean, it's fucking crazy.

• 1:53:58Speaker 03

  They're battling the elements.

• 1:53:58Stavros Halkias?

  Put it in a sleeve.

• 1:53:59Speaker 04

  I saw on eBay, like a box of Pokemon cards from nineteen ninety-eight. It's thirty-five thousand dollars.

• 1:54:05Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 1:54:05Speaker 04

  And people buy that shit.

• 1:54:06Stavros Halkias?

  That's insane.

• 1:54:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're like in the, but then the box is great. You can't open them. They have a box sealed. And then that's graded, they're like, oh, oh, there's a little dent here. So that's, now it's worth five bucks, yeah.

• 1:54:20Stavros Halkias?

  So, look, we hope your grandpa wasn't too rough on these mags as he was jacking his shit. And we hope they're in good shape, but I do-

• 1:54:26Speaker 04

  There's a lot of them.

• 1:54:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, get the ones with the less mileage and send them to the staff.

• 1:54:30Stavros Halkias?

  I think, no, you can, you can send us some fucked up ones. You can, you can sell the good ones. We just want a little, a little piece of your grandpa's pornography collection in the new studio. But I think, I think what you do is sell them because I really do think you could make a good amount of money.

• 1:54:44Speaker 03

  There's people out there that would pay good money for that.

• 1:54:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, the good ones you should send in to get graded.

• 1:54:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:54:49Stavros Halkias?

  Is there a pornography grader?

• 1:54:50Speaker 04

  I think they grade everything now. There's one company that, because people complain online that they've ruined, like, you know, if you just want stuff from your childhood.

• 1:54:57Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:54:58Speaker 04

  They grade everything now, so like, you can't just get things.

• 1:55:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:55:01Speaker 04

  They're all like, you know, way expensive.

• 1:55:05Stavros Halkias?

  So, look, yeah, good, good on your grandpa. I think you're sitting on at least a couple of G's here, is my, is my inclination.

• 1:55:12Speaker 03

  I would, if we're, yeah, I would guess.

• 1:55:16Stavros Halkias?

  How much would you pay for, uh, it's like a fucking sixties, like porno mag with some tits out? I would pay top dollar for that.

• 1:55:24Speaker 03

  Fifty bucks?

• 1:55:25Stavros Halkias?

  Easily, I'd pay fifty bucks for that.

• 1:55:26Speaker 04

  No, maybe me, twelve, seventy-five.

• 1:55:29Stavros Halkias?

  Twelve?

• 1:55:30Speaker 03

  Six ninety-nine, local taxes.

• 1:55:32Speaker 04

  Twelve dollars, seventy-five cents.

• 1:55:32Speaker 03

  I'll do sales tax.

• 1:55:34Speaker 04

  For a nineteen-sixties Playboy that's been touched, all touched up.

• 1:55:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, you don't even know her grandpa.

• 1:55:39Stavros Halkias?

  Who's in it though, also? What kind of tits?

• 1:55:40Speaker 03

  Sophia Loren.

• 1:55:41Speaker 04

  Sophia Loren.

• 1:55:42Stavros Halkias?

  I'll pay-

• 1:55:42Speaker 04

  Elizabeth Hurley, Beyonce.

• 1:55:44Stavros Halkias?

  Elizabeth Hurley? Sophia Loren? Did she do pornography?

• 1:55:47Speaker 03

  Zorron Mom Domini is a baby. Epstein sold his baby pictures.

• 1:55:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, Epstein fucking Zorron is a baby.

• 1:55:55Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, some guy sent me, uh, the literally most clearly AI picture.

• 1:56:00Speaker 04

  Of the two of them?

• 1:56:01Stavros Halkias?

  Of Zorron as a child. Doesn't, you know, just, it's just like some brown-

• 1:56:05Speaker 04

  Oh, with Bill Gates and Bill Clinton? I saw that one.

• 1:56:07Speaker 03

  Oh, that's so good.

• 1:56:08Stavros Halkias?

  And you really thought it? I was like, are you, like, I usually don't respond, but I was like, dude.

• 1:56:13Speaker 04

  It's also true, that, that picture, they're standing like in the middle of Fifth Avenue. It's like at no point where like, you know, Bill Clinton, that's the president and Bill Gates. They wouldn't just be hanging out for lunch.

• 1:56:25Stavros Halkias?

  It's hilarious to accuse a child of being on Epstein's. That means he was being raped on there. No children.

• 1:56:32Speaker 04

  Of all that shit I saw today, my favorite one was people posting like, I saw one where they're posting comparison pictures of Zorron and Jeffrey Epstein to show that he's the son. And it's just that they're both smiling.

• 1:56:43Speaker 03

  That's really funny.

• 1:56:44Speaker 04

  They're like Jeffrey Epstein smiles.

• 1:56:47Speaker 03

  Zorron mom Donnie smiles.

• 1:56:49Stavros Halkias?

  They really, Zorron really has turned people insane, dude.

• 1:56:52Speaker 03

  He broke everyone's brain when he goes, I'm not going to Israel.

• 1:56:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, respect.

• 1:56:56Speaker 03

  Thanks, dude. And they were like.

• 1:56:57Stavros Halkias?

  Like what? You're the mayor of New York.

• 1:57:01Speaker 03

  You need to eat a bagel within the first hour.

• 1:57:04Stavros Halkias?

  The fact that seven out of the eight were like, Israel, Israel, Israel.

• 1:57:08Speaker 03

  It's crazy.

• 1:57:10Speaker 04

  Who's the guy that was like the dork where he's like, um, yep, well, I would make my fourth trip to Israel, followed by my fifth trip to Israel.

• 1:57:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:57:18Speaker 04

  What was that guy's name?

• 1:57:19Stavros Halkias?

  I remember who you're talking about.

• 1:57:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:57:21Stavros Halkias?

  Crazy.

• 1:57:22Speaker 03

  He goes, I would have two servings of Israel.

• 1:57:25Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, how about you just be, do the job of the fucking city? Does the mayor of Toledo have to go to Israel?

• 1:57:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's like, ah dude, I gotta go to Berlin.

• 1:57:34Speaker 04

  I think the answer is yes.

• 1:57:41Speaker 04

  I think they do.

• 1:57:42Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, well, sell the pornography, um, you know, that's about it. And I think that was the, that was the one you had dialed up to go out on Eldis? Excellent, excellent. Well, salute to you, fellas. Thanks for coming.

• 1:57:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:57:56Stavros Halkias?

  It was fun as hell.

• 1:57:56Speaker 04

  Thanks for the A and W zero.

• 1:57:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, the seltzers, the un.

• 1:58:01Stavros Halkias?

  You know, we get busy with the diet.

• 1:58:02Speaker 04

  I don't know what the hell the holiday vanilla Coke is. It seems like it's, but is it different than regular vanilla Coke?

• 1:58:09Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know.

• 1:58:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:58:10Speaker 03

  Holiday.

• 1:58:11Speaker 04

  It says holiday. Yeah, it's British.

• 1:58:13Stavros Halkias?

  It's holiday. That might be the only box in America.

• 1:58:16Speaker 03

  On holiday.

• 1:58:17Speaker 04

  When you're off work.

• 1:58:18Stavros Halkias?

  I've seen, I got, those are my final holiday, the holiday sodas.

• 1:58:22Speaker 04

  Oh, you stocked up? December time, you got about 45.

• 1:58:25Stavros Halkias?

  I got so many in December, no joke.

• 1:58:27Speaker 03

  I get it.

• 1:58:28Speaker 04

  Because they're, oh, there's a storm coming in nine weeks.

• 1:58:33Stavros Halkias?

  You're enjoying the vanilla, haha, the vanilla right now. It's all a joke until it actually is. Everyone's having a nice time with them though. I didn't hear any fucking complaint when you were drinking them. I'm not complaining now. I'm just saying what happened.

• 1:58:48Stavros Halkias?

  That's gonna do it for us, folks. We will see you. Go see these fellows on the road. See us in Radio City and wherever else we're coming. We'll see you next time. Bye bye.

• 1:59:06Speaker 12

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• 1:59:36Speaker 13

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