My Turn Now HELLO

Pre-order Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It: https://sites.prh.com/phoebe-bermans-gonna-lose-it SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr HELLO! This week Brooke and Connor talk about meeting Zac Efron’s body double, personifying their favorite objects, and getting white boy wasted Channing Tatum. Plus, Brooke finally shares a story she’s been repressing and Connor has an interesting misstep at one of his shows. Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/ Go to https://HelloFresh.com/bandc10fm now to Get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life! Shop the White Barn Neutrals collection now at https://bathandbodyworks.com! Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/BANDC Head to https://www.squarespace.com/BANDC to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code BANDC. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 0:00 HELLO 1:03 Intro 1:23 Celebrating 2[redacted] 12:38 Icky Mugs & Icky Bananas 16:13 HelloFresh 17:58 Bath & Body Works 20:19 White Boy Wasted Connor Wood 21:45 The Puerto Rico Song 24:13 Brooke Encounters Hairballs 30:20 Zac Efron’s Body Double 38:05 Rocket Money 40:04 Squarespace 41:19 Brooke’s New Dream 43:50 Connor’s UCSD Show 49:39 The Treacherous Journey Back to LA 51:58 Netflix Is A Joke Debrief 55:33 Connor’s Little Comedy Family 56:39 Nester Before Tour 59:05 Reese Witherspoon vs AI 1:00:22 Innuendo Songs 1:05:43 The New Wordle Show 1:07:55 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:32Speaker 01

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• 0:56Brooke Averick?

  Uh.

• 0:57Connor Wood?

  Hello.

• 0:59Brooke Averick?

  Hello.

• 1:01Connor Wood?

  Welcome back to Brooke and Connor Make a Podcast.

• 1:04Brooke Averick?

  We would like to start this episode by wishing a very, very happy birthday to our dear Izzy.

• 1:08Connor Wood?

  Izzy.

• 1:10Brooke Averick?

  The big two, you know what, today. And we'd like to start off by telling her 20 blank things that we love about her.

• 1:21Connor Wood?

  Yeah, and we'll stop whenever, and it may not even be related to the number that she is.

• 1:24Brooke Averick?

  It might not, but it might. Which is amazing.

• 1:28Connor Wood?

  The important thing is that she's getting up there, in a way, compared to other numbers.

• 1:32Brooke Averick?

  But also, compared to other numbers, so down there as well.

• 1:37Connor Wood?

  Brooke, that's the thing about numbers, there's always something higher than it.

• 1:39Brooke Averick?

  Everyone's gonna be somewhere down and up.

• 1:41Connor Wood?

  There's always something lower. Comparison is the deepest.

• 1:43Brooke Averick?

  All relative.

• 1:44Connor Wood?

  Comparison is the deepest boy.

• 1:46Brooke Averick?

  1,000. Hello. Hello.

• 1:50Connor Wood?

  Hello.

• 2:10Brooke Averick?

  Okay, do you want, well, let's do every other.

• 2:12Connor Wood?

  Okay, yeah.

• 2:13Brooke Averick?

  Do you want to start?

• 2:14Connor Wood?

  Well, they're kinda like, yeah, okay.

• 2:16Brooke Averick?

  Or do you want, what do you mean? Do you wanna do the ones that resonate with you?

• 2:20Connor Wood?

  Yeah, why don't you start? I think we, did you mix them up?

• 2:25Connor Wood?

  Cause I-

• 2:25Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's possible.

• 2:27Connor Wood?

  Cause I, okay, go ahead.

• 2:29Brooke Averick?

  Number one.

• 2:30Connor Wood?

  No, start with-

• 2:31Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 2:33Connor Wood?

  Twenty blank things-

• 2:34Brooke Averick?

  Twenty blank things we love about you.

• 2:35Connor Wood?

  We love about Izzy.

• 2:36Brooke Averick?

  Izzy. Number one. You are, or, let's not even number them. Let's just-

• 2:41Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 2:41Brooke Averick?

  You are our safe space.

• 2:47Connor Wood?

  You be knowing what I mean. And wait, should we provide any? I feel like I wanna provide the context, cause I just was trying to list things and I didn't-

• 2:56Brooke Averick?

  Provide it.

• 2:56Connor Wood?

  So you be knowing what I mean. Sometimes I'm laughing so hard and look at Izzy and she, I'm like, she be knowing what I mean.

• 3:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 3:04Connor Wood?

  And like, she also be knowing what you mean, though.

• 3:07Brooke Averick?

  No, she speaks two different languages. She's bilingual.

• 3:10Connor Wood?

  That's exactly right.

• 3:11Brooke Averick?

  Is what you're trying to say. Yeah.

• 3:12Connor Wood?

  That's why I just said she be knowing.

• 3:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 3:15Connor Wood?

  She's benounced.

• 3:15Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 3:16Connor Wood?

  To many.

• 3:16Brooke Averick?

  Our bilingual queen. You're a rolodex of having a guy for that.

• 3:20Connor Wood?

  Well-connected.

• 3:21Brooke Averick?

  So well-connected.

• 3:23Connor Wood?

  But also-

• 3:23Brooke Averick?

  Even when it's like, I didn't even know there was a guy for that.

• 3:26Connor Wood?

  No, but also, it's like,

• 3:29Connor Wood?

  it's also like, tell us that. You, she's, she's like-

• 3:33Brooke Averick?

  So humble.

• 3:34Connor Wood?

  No, no, no, no. One of the things I have on here is like, you are moving in silence constantly? In a way where it's like, why didn't you tell us that? You know?

• 3:42Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 3:43Connor Wood?

  I would love to know that you knew that guy, or like, you're, it's just fascinating to me.

• 3:47Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's like, oh, you wanna go to O'Mary? Don't worry, I know the producer.

• 3:50Connor Wood?

  You know, you guys know. Every guy I know, you guys know. And you're like, you told us, you know? Like, I would love to be like, yeah, that's my cousin.

• 4:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 4:00Connor Wood?

  You know?

• 4:02Brooke Averick?

  Which you've met, you've met my cousin.

• 4:04Connor Wood?

  Unadulterated horse love. Now, this is a two parter.

• 4:08Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 4:09Connor Wood?

  You, you love horses, but you're still like, you're kind of like changing the way that people would view a horse girl because you carry yourself in like, and now this is gonna, I'm gonna be, hmm, I'm walking in a gray area here and if I step in either direction, I have a community of people mad at me. Um, you, you were changing the way I would view a horse girl.

• 4:31Brooke Averick?

  And me.

• 4:33Connor Wood?

  And then I could probably stop there because I think less is more.

• 4:35Brooke Averick?

  Agree.

• 4:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 4:36Brooke Averick?

  Hello.

• 4:37Connor Wood?

  You do have horse girl hair though, PazCon.

• 4:39Brooke Averick?

  Thank you.

• 4:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's healthy.

• 4:40Brooke Averick?

  You have beautiful hair and we will actually get there.

• 4:42Connor Wood?

  Man, man and tail.

• 4:43Brooke Averick?

  We'll get there soon.

• 4:44Connor Wood?

  Man and tail type shit.

• 4:47Brooke Averick?

  You are living proof that there are no stupid questions.

• 4:50Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 4:50Brooke Averick?

  In the sense that at least you make us feel like our questions are not stupid, even when they are.

• 4:57Speaker 04

  I accept them.

• 4:58Brooke Averick?

  You accept them. Not only do you accept them, you're enthusiastic about them.

• 5:02Connor Wood?

  And sometimes you know the answer still and you're like, okay, well, it's like infant parenting.

• 5:06Brooke Averick?

  Wait, that's another thing I love about Izzy that's not on here is that like, she does know the answers most of the time, but like, and anyone else would be like eager to say them, especially like during connections or something like that. But Izzy is always, always wants us to get there on our own.

• 5:24Connor Wood?

  Oh, Jesus, the way I would be the worst producer known to man. I'd just be filling it in. I'd be behind it. You guys are just too slow. I have to go. I have stuff to do. You guys can't just like be sitting here staring at the world.

• 5:36Brooke Averick?

  I'm drooling onto the microphone.

• 5:37Connor Wood?

  Oh my God. Hello, hello. Okay.

• 5:40Brooke Averick?

  Okay. I like this one.

• 5:44Connor Wood?

  I do too.

• 5:44Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 5:45Connor Wood?

  Um, I don't think I've ever seen your kneecaps.

• 5:48Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 5:48Connor Wood?

  And I find that intriguing.

• 5:50Brooke Averick?

  I don't think I have either. You're, there's, like, you're so open, but there's mystery to you.

• 5:55Connor Wood?

  That's what I, that's the moving in silence. Like, you do create this air of mystery and it's like, kind of the things that you wouldn't think to hide, like your kneecaps. I'm like, are you warm or something? You know, like, I don't, maybe there's something that you haven't even told us.

• 6:08Brooke Averick?

  Like any remotely fun fact that I have, it's like you're, you're gonna know it. T-shirt. It's like you have so many things that. You just offer when they come up in context instead of blurring them out. Like, just whatever.

• 6:21Connor Wood?

  Could not imagine.

• 6:22Brooke Averick?

  Genuinely.

• 6:23Connor Wood?

  And then we already touched on the next one.

• 6:24Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I move in silence. You, how about you touch on this next one? Cause I don't know if I understand.

• 6:29Connor Wood?

  You cut the fat from the storytelling. So I have like, obviously, I have the thing, so kinda like with the connections thing that we just talked about. If I know where your story's going, I promise you, I finished it in my head and I have, I'm thinking about something else.

• 6:42Brooke Averick?

  Well, that's why I bury the lead all the time, according to you. It's like, I-

• 6:46Connor Wood?

  But you're burying my lead of my story.

• 6:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, exactly, cause it's like, let's go.

• 6:51Connor Wood?

  But like-

• 6:51Brooke Averick?

  Let's go.

• 6:52Connor Wood?

  Like, I want to, I'm getting there.

• 6:55Brooke Averick?

  But you're taking a really long time.

• 6:57Connor Wood?

  Instead of finishing the story that you, that I'm trying to tell to other people on the podcast, why don't you just like, be like, cut the fat? Cut the fat.

• 7:03Brooke Averick?

  It's cause, it's again, and this goes back to why Izzy's so special. I want my, I want to talk.

• 7:10Connor Wood?

  I want to go.

• 7:11Brooke Averick?

  I want, I want to go. It's my turn now. It's my turn now. Izzy doesn't have that. It's an amazing way.

• 7:16Connor Wood?

  You were able to hold your tongue in a way most people can't.

• 7:18Brooke Averick?

  But like, in a really, in a, in a really good way.

• 7:22Connor Wood?

  I want to go.

• 7:23Brooke Averick?

  She has self-control.

• 7:24Connor Wood?

  I want it now.

• 7:25Brooke Averick?

  I want my turn now. Mine, mine, mine.

• 7:28Connor Wood?

  Daddy! Hello?

• 7:30Brooke Averick?

  Hello?

• 7:32Connor Wood?

  I'm sweating.

• 7:33Brooke Averick?

  Sorry. Uh, your attention to detail.

• 7:39Brooke Averick?

  Which goes kind of hand in hand with something that we've mentioned a few times on this, your thoughtfulness.

• 7:44Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 7:44Brooke Averick?

  Like, you will

• 7:47Brooke Averick?

  get like a gift for someone that like, I said this like five months ago, but you paid attention like so deeply? That like you knew, why are you laughing? Does that sound bad?

• 7:59Connor Wood?

  No, I was just like thinking of a situation.

• 8:01Brooke Averick?

  Like what?

• 8:02Connor Wood?

  Nothing, like really nothing that was not related to this, but please continue.

• 8:07Brooke Averick?

  You wanna talk, don't you?

• 8:09Connor Wood?

  No, I'm literally like making up a scenario in my head. And like thinking, that's what can I say?

• 8:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 8:15Connor Wood?

  Just like thinking about like, we were earnestly in a conversation right now. You're telling me about something like, if you're really hard for me, it's nuts to be like, hello? I don't think I can stop myself.

• 8:30Connor Wood?

  You were genuinely talking about it. You're so thoughtful, Izzy, like, it's so amazing and touching to us, and I'm just like, hell.

• 8:36Brooke Averick?

  Oh, this tick's developed, I think when we were reading the ads. So, this is a live, live development, but your attention to detail is amazing. Hello.

• 8:49Brooke Averick?

  Nice.

• 8:49Connor Wood?

  It's really a good quality to have. Uh, your ability to be unfazed.

• 8:55Brooke Averick?

  Like, the way that you could Google, like, something, like, so disgusting about poop with such a straight face?

• 9:03Connor Wood?

  No, you just go, yeah, on.

• 9:04Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 9:05Connor Wood?

  Actually, like-

• 9:05Brooke Averick?

  You're already Googling it.

• 9:06Connor Wood?

  Yeah, well, that's what I was gonna say. I have that in here, too. You're always one step ahead of us.

• 9:10Brooke Averick?

  One step ahead.

• 9:11Connor Wood?

  The foresight.

• 9:12Brooke Averick?

  Yep, yep.

• 9:13Connor Wood?

  Uh, like, I'm like, can we, and it's already being pulled up on the screen. And, like, for everything else, too, there's always stuff where it's like, oh, crap, we didn't, and she's like, Inspector Gadget pulls out, like, a lighter from her sleeve.

• 9:27Brooke Averick?

  Oh, Mary Poppins.

• 9:28Connor Wood?

  Mary Poppins, that's-

• 9:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that's also, she always has, like, if I, I needed a Band-Aid the other day, she had 16. So, it's like, who has Band-Aids nowadays, Izzy? You know?

• 9:37Connor Wood?

  Oh, my God, I sliced my finger this morning. Ooh, I did one of those thin slices that will stay with me for a while.

• 9:42Brooke Averick?

  Don't talk to me about thin slices right now.

• 9:44Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 9:45Brooke Averick?

  Um, you, I, you have a great sense of style and great clothes and a gorgeous body under them.

• 9:50Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 9:52Brooke Averick?

  You're welcome.

• 9:52Connor Wood?

  Um, you're, to me, what Xanax is to other people, I think. Cause I'll be like, la, la, la, la, la, like, worst case scenario, and you're like, no, literally, don't worry about it.

• 10:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, hand in hand with that safe space.

• 10:05Connor Wood?

  Yeah, with, like, do you think that, like, when I said this, this, this, are people gonna think this? You're like, no. And I'm like, okay. You know what I mean?

• 10:13Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, absolutely, I know what you mean. Uh, you're the greatest Googler I know. You always know exactly what to say to the beast to get them to tell us what we need to hear. Not a lot of people can do that.

• 10:26Connor Wood?

  Izzy and the machine.

• 10:27Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 10:28Speaker 04

  Some spelling mistakes, though.

• 10:29Brooke Averick?

  It doesn't matter, they know.

• 10:32Connor Wood?

  Uh, when we both say, that was the worst app ever, and you go, no. Even though it was. I love that.

• 10:40Brooke Averick?

  I do, too. Uh, food tastes better when you order it.

• 10:44Connor Wood?

  Ooh, yeah.

• 10:45Brooke Averick?

  And you always like know what we want. Like even when we don't.

• 10:49Connor Wood?

  Except that one time when I said shakshuka, yeah, nobody knows what you're saying. And you were like, okay, so I got you the shakshuka. And I was like.

• 10:57Connor Wood?

  Is she like, I thought you knew me.

• 10:58Brooke Averick?

  You just thought you were just commenting on it because it was a funny word?

• 11:01Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I've, I had never until like two weeks ago, heard of shakshuka.

• 11:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 11:06Speaker 04

  It's like, how do you want your eggs? You were like, I don't.

• 11:07Connor Wood?

  Oh, I genuinely thought it was like a big joke.

• 11:09Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 11:10Connor Wood?

  Why are we ordering from a Polish restaurant? It was, it was literally Joe and the Juice.

• 11:15Connor Wood?

  What is this? When did we study abroad?

• 11:21Brooke Averick?

  There's another thoughtful in here. Sorry if we already said that, but I think it's worth mentioning twice. That's true.

• 11:27Connor Wood?

  This is, this is a good one.

• 11:28Brooke Averick?

  You like it?

• 11:29Connor Wood?

  Your ability to keep two big, two of the biggest space cadets and two different time zones on schedule is no small feat.

• 11:37Brooke Averick?

  That's true.

• 11:38Connor Wood?

  That's a good one.

• 11:39Brooke Averick?

  Like the fact that like, we have, we have recorded an episode every week for the most part, except for that one week when we messed up a few weeks ago.

• 11:48Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 11:48Brooke Averick?

  And that was our fault.

• 11:50Connor Wood?

  There was a lot going on. It was our fault.

• 11:53Brooke Averick?

  It was, oh, it was our fault, but the fact that like, that's only happened once isn't like, it's actually insane when you think about it.

• 12:01Connor Wood?

  It is.

• 12:02Brooke Averick?

  Like the fact that neither of us have any sort of handle on our schedule and are living across the country from each other and we're here once a week. That's all because of Izzy. And when it's not, it's our fault.

• 12:15Connor Wood?

  It's true.

• 12:17Brooke Averick?

  You're a real adult who we can learn real adult skills from. So that's nice and we appreciate that.

• 12:24Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 12:27Connor Wood?

  You never get mad at us for being late, which is cra- which is funny. I'm loving this new thing recently where like Brooke is late now and like I'm completely.

• 12:36Brooke Averick?

  I am so.

• 12:37Connor Wood?

  I showered upstairs in the sink when I got here.

• 12:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, I heard about that.

• 12:43Connor Wood?

  Did you rat on me?

• 12:46Connor Wood?

  Um, I, yeah, and it's, it's nice, but there have been times where I've been like, there was one time where I was like genuinely 40 minutes late and didn't bat an eye. You're like, it's okay.

• 12:57Brooke Averick?

  No, I, it's really amazing.

• 12:58Connor Wood?

  Are you on some like, I've never, are you on something?

• 13:03Speaker 04

  A cocktail, yeah.

• 13:04Connor Wood?

  Okay, a cocktail.

• 13:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 13:05Connor Wood?

  Wow, beautiful. Cause like, need that, hashtag need that.

• 13:10Brooke Averick?

  Hashtag need it. And then lastly, you're so pretty, even though your looks are the least interesting thing about you.

• 13:16Speaker 04

  Guys.

• 13:17Connor Wood?

  We love you, Izzy.

• 13:18Speaker 04

  That is truly, truly the best present ever.

• 13:20Connor Wood?

  We heart Izzy.

• 13:22Brooke Averick?

  We heart Izzy.

• 13:23Connor Wood?

  We heart Izzy over here.

• 13:24Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I thought I was drinking out of the Izzy mug today, but I'm drinking out of the Connor mug.

• 13:27Connor Wood?

  Oh, hello.

• 13:29Brooke Averick?

  Hello. I've never once drank it out of the, drank it?

• 13:32Connor Wood?

  I don't know.

• 13:33Brooke Averick?

  I've never sipped out of the Brooklyn.

• 13:34Connor Wood?

  Can I say something?

• 13:35Brooke Averick?

  You may.

• 13:36Connor Wood?

  Those mugs make my coffee taste like complete bullshit.

• 13:39Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 13:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I don't know what it is about those mugs. Like, I know they're handmade by a fan, like, thank you, it's very nice. Decoration.

• 13:46Brooke Averick?

  They're, they're made from Patrick, where we made this pot.

• 13:50Connor Wood?

  He made us those mugs. Come.

• 13:52Brooke Averick?

  They ta, it tastes fine.

• 13:53Connor Wood?

  Complete.

• 13:53Brooke Averick?

  There's no.

• 13:54Connor Wood?

  Oh, for me, bad mood. Like, I, I pick up that mug and I'm drinking out of it. I'm like, oh, today's gonna suck. Like, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be super negative.

• 14:01Brooke Averick?

  Interesting. I'm not getting that. Do you want to, uh, dive into these bananas and just like, see? Like what's going on?

• 14:09Connor Wood?

  Mine's holding on by its, it's on life alert and yours looks so healthy and fresh.

• 14:13Brooke Averick?

  No, it doesn't. Like Connor has this banana that he just dropped on the floor that's like pretty damn brown.

• 14:21Brooke Averick?

  And like, could, it could be banana, a banana bread banana, but it also might be able to be a regular banana.

• 14:29Connor Wood?

  Okay, it's falling.

• 14:29Brooke Averick?

  Ew, ew, ew, Connor, stop. Okay, I think it's a banana bread banana. And I have one that's maybe a little bit too green. So we wanted to see, we wanted to do a taste test. That looks so good.

• 14:41Connor Wood?

  Miss me with, miss me with this.

• 14:43Brooke Averick?

  See, this is like, I don't know if this is gonna be.

• 14:46Connor Wood?

  Miss me with the nipple of the banana.

• 14:48Brooke Averick?

  Cut off the nipple.

• 14:49Connor Wood?

  What's crazy to me is how much you have to fight through for the good part of the banana. When that string, even though the string is, when that string is kind of.

• 14:59Brooke Averick?

  Starts with a P.

• 15:01Connor Wood?

  Penelope Cruz. I'm forgetting what it is.

• 15:04Brooke Averick?

  Me too.

• 15:05Connor Wood?

  Petui Terry.

• 15:06Brooke Averick?

  Mm-mm.

• 15:08Connor Wood?

  No, that's not right.

• 15:12Brooke Averick?

  That, that definitely wasn't it. The Curio, it definitely was not the Curio Ratican. That sounds like a hotel.

• 15:20Connor Wood?

  The furniture just started floating in the corner. Flume bundles.

• 15:24Brooke Averick?

  Uh, yeah, hello.

• 15:25Connor Wood?

  Yeah, hello. Uh, they're disgusting and it's crazy and I can't believe like, like what's this?

• 15:34Connor Wood?

  You know what would be amazing?

• 15:35Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 15:36Connor Wood?

  A school lunch where the string that you pull off is cheese. The flume bundle is made out of string cheese.

• 15:41Brooke Averick?

  So that's just a piece of string cheese?

• 15:44Connor Wood?

  No, but the banana's on the inside.

• 15:45Brooke Averick?

  Okay, we are going to do a taste test and see which is better. The one that's barely ripe or the one that's a little over ripe. Ready? First you, let's, ready?

• 16:00Brooke Averick?

  This one's sour.

• 16:02Connor Wood?

  This one's sweet.

• 16:03Brooke Averick?

  Here, switch.

• 16:09Connor Wood?

  My very soft like my grandma.

• 16:19Connor Wood?

  I seriously think what we're tasting is like GMOs.

• 16:23Brooke Averick?

  Those are the complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Extremism is not good on either side.

• 16:29Connor Wood?

  That's a polarizing banana.

• 16:31Brooke Averick?

  I'm, I'm good to call it on both. Which one did you like better?

• 16:35Connor Wood?

  This one.

• 16:36Brooke Averick?

  Me too. I don't want it though.

• 16:37Connor Wood?

  Yeah, sorry. That one I found like

• 16:39Brooke Averick?

  That one was pretty disgusting.

• 16:40Connor Wood?

  Under a bunch of bags of chips. I don't know how long it's been there.

• 16:43Brooke Averick?

  Alright.

• 16:44Connor Wood?

  I truly, like fruit recently has been

• 16:48Brooke Averick?

  I have chills.

• 16:49Connor Wood?

  Chills. I'm at Coachella.

• 16:51Brooke Averick?

  Coachella. Hello.

• 16:52Connor Wood?

  Hello. We gotta stop, like it's not even

• 16:55Brooke Averick?

  I want to.

• 16:55Connor Wood?

  I want it.

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• 17:58Connor Wood?

  I, um, I, I, um, I have something to tell you.

• 18:04Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 18:04Connor Wood?

  I woke up, have you ever woke up, you ever wake up with a song in your head?

• 18:09Brooke Averick?

  I don't know, probably.

• 18:11Connor Wood?

  There was one day when I was like, oh, today is gonna be a cursed day. I woke up with Gaslighter by The Dixie Chicks in my head, and I was like, what did I do wrong? Like recently, or this is my punishment? Gaslighter, dance, but it was, it was bad. Today I woke up with White Boy Wasted, Channing Tatum.

• 18:28Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 18:28Connor Wood?

  And it's like, I don't even know what that's from, I had to Google it. And it's from Megan Thee Stallion's song, Megan Thee Stallion.

• 18:34Brooke Averick?

  I don't know it.

• 18:36Connor Wood?

  It's Megan Thee Stallion and Glorilla, but I wasn't singing it like how she does it, it was like...

• 18:42Brooke Averick?

  You did the remix?

• 18:42Connor Wood?

  White Boy Wasted, Channing, it was like that.

• 18:45Brooke Averick?

  Like Yankee Doodle?

• 18:46Connor Wood?

  But I also didn't wake up with the right lyrics in my head, it was, he don't wanna be saved, don't save him.

• 18:51Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I know that song, Don't Save Her.

• 18:52Connor Wood?

  20 Miss Calls, White Boy Wasted, Channing Tatum. But for some reason I had, white, white, she don't wanna be saved, don't save her.

• 19:03Connor Wood?

  White boy wasted Channing Tatum. And I was like, what a weird lyric. Channing Tatum? Who's that? That would be fun. But now I um, I would really like to make a TikTok after this and you do the rap and it hits me and I'm like, well, white boy wasted Channing Tatum.

• 19:19Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 19:20Connor Wood?

  If that's okay with you.

• 19:21Brooke Averick?

  Uh, have you heard the Puerto Rico song?

• 19:24Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I can't do that right now. I'm serious.

• 19:25Brooke Averick?

  No worries.

• 19:26Connor Wood?

  I can't, it hit.

• 19:29Brooke Averick?

  You don't like it?

• 19:30Connor Wood?

  It hit my desk and I was like, oh, that's funny. Like,

• 19:34Connor Wood?

  and then it didn't leave my brain for a long time.

• 19:37Brooke Averick?

  How does it go again? I'm being serious. Like, I genuinely.

• 19:40Connor Wood?

  First time in San Juan.

• 19:43Brooke Averick?

  It's so good.

• 19:45Connor Wood?

  San, then Puerto Rico.

• 19:47Brooke Averick?

  It's so good.

• 19:49Connor Wood?

  It is really good. I'll be on.

• 19:50Brooke Averick?

  It is so. It reminds me of like, there's an essence of like Schoolhouse Rock to it.

• 19:56Connor Wood?

  Well, the guy, it's AI. You know it's AI?

• 19:59Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 20:00Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 20:00Brooke Averick?

  But there's a guy.

• 20:02Connor Wood?

  The guy writes, apparently the guy writes the songs and then plugs it into ChatGPT or whatever and then it cooks it up and makes a song for it.

• 20:09Brooke Averick?

  That, that blows.

• 20:11Connor Wood?

  And he's, so he's like full blown. He's not singing it. He's not, he's writing, apparently he's writing the lyrics. And he goes, he travels a lot. And so every time he goes to a new place, he like, writes about his trip and it puts it in and it makes a song. And people are commenting on his TikToks from other places and they're like, we like San Juan more. And he's like, okay, like, I'm not an artist. This has nothing to do with me.

• 20:30Brooke Averick?

  I like, I wonder if this song is like genuinely like benefiting Puerto Rico. Cause like, I haven't thought about Puerto Rico this much in like a minute. You know, like, I wonder if people are now like wanting to go to Puerto Rico more.

• 20:43Connor Wood?

  I didn't even see the video. I've only heard the song.

• 20:46Brooke Averick?

  It's educational in a way.

• 20:49Connor Wood?

  Um.

• 20:50Brooke Averick?

  Anyway.

• 20:50Connor Wood?

  I know nothing about Puerto Rico. I don't, I don't totally know where it is. Cuba.

• 20:56Connor Wood?

  What?

• 20:57Brooke Averick?

  A family from there.

• 20:57Connor Wood?

  You have family from Puerto Rico?

• 20:59Brooke Averick?

  Kinda.

• 20:59Connor Wood?

  Huh?

• 21:01Brooke Averick?

  Like an aunt.

• 21:03Connor Wood?

  An aunt is from Puerto Rico?

• 21:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, she's Puerto Rican, but like she's not by blood.

• 21:08Connor Wood?

  Like this?

• 21:10Brooke Averick?

  Like one of my uncles like moved to Puerto Rico and married a Puerto Rican woman and so now I have Puerto Rican cousins.

• 21:17Connor Wood?

  You scared me. I was like, I don't know this.

• 21:19Brooke Averick?

  I'm not Puerto Rican, but I have Puerto Rican family. Does that make sense?

• 21:24Connor Wood?

  Yeah, by marriage.

• 21:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, but like the cousins are blood.

• 21:29Connor Wood?

  Will you go?

• 21:30Brooke Averick?

  But the aunt is not blood. I don't think they live in Puerto Rico anymore.

• 21:34Connor Wood?

  Ugh.

• 21:36Brooke Averick?

  I've met them like once.

• 21:38Connor Wood?

  You should text him.

• 21:39Brooke Averick?

  But they are good people.

• 21:40Connor Wood?

  I love, have you heard the song?

• 21:42Brooke Averick?

  No, I mean, this could reconnect families.

• 21:47Connor Wood?

  You should reach out.

• 21:47Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 21:50Brooke Averick?

  I have to tell you something.

• 21:54Brooke Averick?

  But are you ready? This is something I've been meaning to say for a long time, but I kept slipping my mind. It is poop related. Permission?

• 22:06Connor Wood?

  Granted.

• 22:06Brooke Averick?

  Let me have a few more sips out of my Connor mug.

• 22:08Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 22:09Brooke Averick?

  For this one.

• 22:10Connor Wood?

  Those mugs suck. Sorry, Patrick. Those are the worst.

• 22:14Brooke Averick?

  Don't be mean.

• 22:15Connor Wood?

  No, I persona, you know, I personify all of my dishes.

• 22:19Brooke Averick?

  I love these.

• 22:20Connor Wood?

  That mug gives me like coworker carpooling with me to like a work thing and

• 22:28Connor Wood?

  our weight, no coworker, definitely coworker. I'm stuck in a situation. What is this situation?

• 22:37Connor Wood?

  Coworker, work, retreat, randomly assigned, share hotel room coworker.

• 22:44Brooke Averick?

  And they're drinking out of this mug?

• 22:45Connor Wood?

  No, they are that mug to me.

• 22:47Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 22:49Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 22:50Connor Wood?

  You don't have that?

• 22:51Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 22:51Connor Wood?

  Your dish is at your house. You don't have a favorite dish that you like feel close to?

• 22:55Brooke Averick?

  Of course I do, but it's not like I'm like, you're my coworker.

• 22:59Connor Wood?

  You're my-

• 22:59Brooke Averick?

  I just like the way you look.

• 23:01Connor Wood?

  Oh, we're different. See, like, I'm like, you're my family, you're my friend. If I don't use you, I think you'll feel bad.

• 23:07Connor Wood?

  My fork that's rounded doesn't hurt when I cut hard? That's my family member.

• 23:10Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, no, I never really personified objects, just things with faces.

• 23:13Connor Wood?

  My front left-

• 23:14Brooke Averick?

  Oh, and sponges.

• 23:15Connor Wood?

  My front right burner on my stove, if I don't use that, I really truly feel like I'm gonna feel guilty.

• 23:22Brooke Averick?

  That's fine.

• 23:22Connor Wood?

  That's, it's like going behind someone's back and not telling front right burner.

• 23:27Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 23:29Connor Wood?

  Don't get me started about Ramekins.

• 23:31Brooke Averick?

  I won't.

• 23:32Connor Wood?

  Do you wanna hear about-

• 23:33Brooke Averick?

  Hello, no.

• 23:34Connor Wood?

  Come on.

• 23:34Brooke Averick?

  No, I have to tell you something.

• 23:35Connor Wood?

  I only have four Ramekins.

• 23:36Brooke Averick?

  I've been trying to tell you something.

• 23:37Connor Wood?

  Doesn't care about my Ramekins at the record show. Tell me. I just like, forgive me for pushing off the poop convo just a little bit further into the episode.

• 23:44Brooke Averick?

  It's fine.

• 23:45Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 23:45Brooke Averick?

  We are, we are like a significant amount in.

• 23:47Connor Wood?

  Okay, poop me.

• 23:48Brooke Averick?

  Um, this is, this happened a while ago, but-

• 23:51Connor Wood?

  You've been holding this back?

• 23:52Brooke Averick?

  I, I keep forgetting to tell you. Basically, both of my boys are really good at using the litter box.

• 23:57Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 23:58Brooke Averick?

  And they always have been since they were babies. But like, kind of recently, like a few months ago, there started like, maybe like every two weeks, just being like a little poop.

• 24:08Brooke Averick?

  Like here and there. And it was like weird because it was such like an intentional poop. Like, it was not like they, like, it was like a turd. Like, they didn't have a stomach ache or anything, clearly. This is gonna be like poop heavy.

• 24:20Connor Wood?

  Whoa, either-

• 24:22Brooke Averick?

  Like, it was like, there was like, you had to have pushed this out. Like, you did not like have diarrhea on the floor. Like, you were not having a stomach ache. Like, this was an intentional thing. But it's like, kind of just, it started later in their lives. And it only happened like, once every three weeks or so. So I was like, okay, weird for my kids who are so good at the litter box, but whatever. And it's a very like, I can't stress this enough, they, it always looked the same. This little turd.

• 24:53Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 24:53Connor Wood?

  Getting chills.

• 24:54Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, and so, a few months ago-

• 24:56Connor Wood?

  Related chills.

• 24:58Brooke Averick?

  John started gagging. And I was like, oh, he's throwing up. So, like, obviously rushed towards him. I wanna be there with him if he's not feeling up, but also eyes and ears closed. While that's happening. And then, when it was done, opened my eyes.

• 25:16Brooke Averick?

  There's the poop on the ground.

• 25:18Connor Wood?

  The turd.

• 25:19Brooke Averick?

  The turd. So I was like, did you just throw up poop?

• 25:26Brooke Averick?

  All of these poops that I've been seeing have been coming out of John's mouth. So John has been pooping out of his mouth.

• 25:34Brooke Averick?

  So obviously I think he's dying. I'm freaking the fuck out Googling cat poop out of mouth like.

• 25:41Brooke Averick?

  Hi, hello.

• 25:42Connor Wood?

  Oh, that's a very unenthusiastic hello for me. I'm worried about this.

• 25:47Brooke Averick?

  And guess what? I just did cat pooping. The suggested search immediately fill in out of mouth. This is a very common problem because guess what? Have you ever seen a hairball?

• 26:00Brooke Averick?

  No, you haven't.

• 26:01Connor Wood?

  I had a cat, Brooke.

• 26:02Brooke Averick?

  Do you, do you know that it looks like a poop?

• 26:09Connor Wood?

  Like, like maybe?

• 26:11Brooke Averick?

  No, Izzy, I'm sorry.

• 26:12Connor Wood?

  Did you have your contacts in?

• 26:14Brooke Averick?

  This is a poop.

• 26:17Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, go maybe one, two, three, five, the sixth one next to him. That's it. Uh, two more over. No, just that, like that piece of poop.

• 26:26Connor Wood?

  Yeah, like I've.

• 26:27Brooke Averick?

  That's a, that's a hairball.

• 26:30Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I know. I've, I've seen hairballs. Yeah, I.

• 26:33Brooke Averick?

  But mine boys looked like more like poop than that. So imagine, yeah, that's a hairball. You're telling me that's a hairball? You're telling me that's a hairball?

• 26:45Connor Wood?

  I'll give you that that does not look like a hairball. Because it's not.

• 26:50Brooke Averick?

  That is what a hairball looks like.

• 26:52Connor Wood?

  No.

• 26:52Brooke Averick?

  No, no, it, yes. Izzy, just have to Google cat hairball. Look at all of them.

• 26:58Connor Wood?

  We have to get it. No, I think I get it.

• 27:00Brooke Averick?

  I understand, but why didn't Doc, like the vets should tell you like, hey, don't worry. Like new, new cat owner, like if it looks like your cat's pooping out of its mouth, that's what a hairball looks like because that's not what the media has portrayed hairballs as.

• 27:16Brooke Averick?

  They portrayed it as more of a ball of hair.

• 27:18Connor Wood?

  I do want to say like my cats hairballs didn't look like fat turds, like fat, long turds.

• 27:23Brooke Averick?

  They are fat, long turds.

• 27:24Connor Wood?

  No, my like, mine was very hair heavy. So it was very clear. And also, there was like,

• 27:31Brooke Averick?

  What color was your cat?

• 27:33Connor Wood?

  Like gray?

• 27:34Brooke Averick?

  I guess maybe because I have

• 27:36Connor Wood?

  Black cats.

• 27:38Brooke Averick?

  They're, that's like, it's pretty much a poop.

• 27:42Connor Wood?

  So, okay, Turd Gate is closed, right?

• 27:45Brooke Averick?

  Turd Gate is closed, but it's no less upsetting. It's more upsetting. And it causes them discomfort that I, which I don't care for.

• 27:53Connor Wood?

  Hair balls are normal.

• 27:54Brooke Averick?

  They are normal. I wonder if any have ever come from Rob. I'm really curious because I only saw.

• 27:59Connor Wood?

  I gotta keep taking, don't move your shirt.

• 28:02Brooke Averick?

  Oh, wait.

• 28:04Connor Wood?

  Just hang on.

• 28:05Brooke Averick?

  I know that.

• 28:05Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna do a collection of Brooke's shirt every time I see it in like a different shape and I'm gonna share them at the end of the episode. It's remarkable what's happening to Zach.

• 28:14Brooke Averick?

  This just showed up to my house. I didn't order it.

• 28:17Connor Wood?

  What a coincidence.

• 28:18Brooke Averick?

  I don't think it's a coincidence. I do think someone ordered it.

• 28:22Connor Wood?

  No, what a coincidence based on my experience on Monday.

• 28:24Brooke Averick?

  What's your experience on Monday?

• 28:26Connor Wood?

  I texted you. I texted you both.

• 28:28Brooke Averick?

  I forget.

• 28:30Connor Wood?

  I saw him.

• 28:31Brooke Averick?

  Oh, and you think I didn't have a dream about him last night? By the way, my, I'm wearing a Troy Bolton shirt.

• 28:37Connor Wood?

  Don't move. No, don't move.

• 28:39Brooke Averick?

  I just didn't.

• 28:40Connor Wood?

  You just put your chest out in that way.

• 28:43Brooke Averick?

  Connor.

• 28:44Connor Wood?

  Brooke! Hello?

• 28:49Connor Wood?

  Hang on, don't move.

• 28:50Brooke Averick?

  I don't know who ordered this for me. I checked in with everybody that I know. So I do think it was someone that I didn't know. But I'm grateful for it. It is weird.

• 29:00Brooke Averick?

  But I love it. He was in my dream last night.

• 29:03Connor Wood?

  Well, yeah, he's, he's ever present this week because I went to the Lakers game on Monday. I lucked out. Someone gave me tickets to this, these amazing seats and Lakers having a really bad season. I can't, I'm not totally like a basketball man. I do love going to Lakers games. It's very cool.

• 29:24Brooke Averick?

  I want to go to a Dodgers game.

• 29:26Connor Wood?

  I would go to a Dodgers game with you. We are historically.

• 29:29Brooke Averick?

  Farmers.

• 29:34Connor Wood?

  Is that just?

• 29:37Brooke Averick?

  You said, "We are like that."

• 29:39Connor Wood?

  Oh, okay.

• 29:41Brooke Averick?

  Sorry.

• 29:41Connor Wood?

  No, it's fine. I just, I was gonna say, um, hello.

• 29:52Connor Wood?

  No. I was gonna say, "We're historically very, we have historically a lot of much, the buses are very late, the buses are nasty, and we waited a periodically long time."

• 30:06Brooke Averick?

  To, for the Lakers?

• 30:08Connor Wood?

  No, now we're both tweaking. We had a good time at a Dodgers game, that one time, and we have to go back, yeah.

• 30:14Brooke Averick?

  The one where I was crying?

• 30:15Connor Wood?

  Yeah. And then we started laughing.

• 30:17Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 30:18Connor Wood?

  We didn't, we did a little bit of shrooms, and so emotions were high.

• 30:21Brooke Averick?

  No, we did not.

• 30:22Connor Wood?

  Yeah, we did. No, we did. Yeah, we did.

• 30:24Brooke Averick?

  No, we did not.

• 30:24Connor Wood?

  Yeah, we did.

• 30:25Brooke Averick?

  No, we did not.

• 30:26Connor Wood?

  Yeah, we did.

• 30:27Brooke Averick?

  I would not have done that at that time in my life.

• 30:29Connor Wood?

  Brooke, we did.

• 30:30Brooke Averick?

  I swear to God, I, there's no way.

• 30:33Connor Wood?

  Cross my heart, hope to die.

• 30:35Brooke Averick?

  Like chocolate?

• 30:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 30:38Brooke Averick?

  We're, like, what was the context of it?

• 30:40Connor Wood?

  We were just like, "Let's do it."

• 30:42Brooke Averick?

  At the Dodgers game?

• 30:43Connor Wood?

  Before.

• 30:45Brooke Averick?

  Where? Like, at your house?

• 30:47Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 30:48Brooke Averick?

  I don't think there's a way.

• 30:49Connor Wood?

  I promise, there's a will.

• 30:52Brooke Averick?

  I really don't agree.

• 30:55Brooke Averick?

  But that would make a lot of sense.

• 30:56Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I'm telling you, that's what happened. Okay.

• 30:58Brooke Averick?

  Unless you gave some to me without me knowing.

• 31:02Connor Wood?

  Well, I would not slip shrooms into your drink. Like, I don't have an interest in

• 31:09Connor Wood?

  you not knowing that you're on shrooms.

• 31:10Brooke Averick?

  I just don't think I, I don't remember that.

• 31:16Brooke Averick?

  Is that a side effect of shrooms?

• 31:17Connor Wood?

  Like, yeah. I told you when I went and got that massage, and I thought I was eating chocolate before my massage, the massage that gave, gave me COVID, and I, they were playing music on this little boombox, and it was that song from Not Ave Maria, but it was like something adjacent to Ave Maria and it was playing in a boombox in this like tent that I was getting a massage in. And they were massaging me and I like, my emotions were overflowing and I started crying through that little face hole in the massage table. And I was like, what is going on? Why am I so moved by this? And like, the guys, that was the fingernail one where the guy's fingernail was like scraping me on while he massaged me.

• 31:58Connor Wood?

  And then I got COVID like all around was worth every, every $15 that I spent on that. And then I was like, oh my God, I ate that shrimp chocolate.

• 32:07Brooke Averick?

  What were we talking about?

• 32:10Connor Wood?

  Zac Efron. So I was at the Lakers game and I'm looking around, it was crazy. It was so star studded. It was Usher sitting here. Jessica Alba and Odessa Daisy on or whatever. I don't know how to say her last name. I just read her Instagram name. So I don't know when her last name starts.

• 32:28Connor Wood?

  I read it.

• 32:29Brooke Averick?

  I don't know where her first name ends and her last.

• 32:30Connor Wood?

  Yeah. So Odessa was with Jessica Alba. And Leonardo DiCaprio was sitting right in front of me. And I think he was with like two young influencer girls, like bleach blonde hair influencer.

• 32:44Brooke Averick?

  That is a likely.

• 32:45Connor Wood?

  No, but it was weird because he's usually with like an Italian, still 22 year old, but like, these were like LA.

• 32:56Connor Wood?

  Like influencer type. It was not like, anyways. And then next to him, not right away, there was like a bunch of those people that like definitely like talent agents. And then, then it was Miles Teller and then Zac Efron.

• 33:10Brooke Averick?

  My man, my man.

• 33:11Connor Wood?

  And they were talking the whole time. And I was like, that's Zac Efron. Like I immediately clocked it. And they're talking and they're hanging out. And then like Miles Teller gets put on the jumbotron and it's half of Zac Efron's face.

• 33:27Connor Wood?

  You know, you know.

• 33:29Brooke Averick?

  I, I know.

• 33:30Connor Wood?

  Izzy, put up, can you put up the photo I sent you guys? Where he's, he walked by and I was like, I gotta send a photo to these guys. I was like, it's weird that they're not highlighting Zac Efron.

• 33:41Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, and you know what? I should have noted that when you sent that to me, but really, there was no doubt in my mind that that was Zac. If you are listening to audio, you should look at this because it's pretty alarming.

• 33:51Connor Wood?

  It's remarkable.

• 33:52Brooke Averick?

  This one, I was like, that's not Zac.

• 33:54Connor Wood?

  Here's the photo.

• 33:55Brooke Averick?

  That, that one I didn't think was Zac.

• 33:56Connor Wood?

  It doesn't look like him at all. Like in any way, but then his, his, we gotta go to the next one. His profile on the image was like completely Z E.

• 34:08Brooke Averick?

  That is E on the jumbo.

• 34:10Connor Wood?

  Yeah, and then go, when you see the screenshot that I sent next, you're gonna be.

• 34:15Brooke Averick?

  And that's the, that, that was the.

• 34:17Connor Wood?

  That's a remarkably bright creature.

• 34:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 34:19Connor Wood?

  100%.

• 34:19Brooke Averick?

  150.

• 34:20Connor Wood?

  And I'm thinking, okay, cool, locked and loaded. And then I'm getting my car from valet.

• 34:28Connor Wood?

  And he walks up and I get a straight full frontal. This guy was like Asian. Or like half Asian or made like, he was like not white.

• 34:38Brooke Averick?

  Not Zac?

• 34:39Connor Wood?

  It was not Zac, but it was like so close and it makes me think that like.

• 34:43Brooke Averick?

  That, to me, I would have said, you sent that to me, I said, wow.

• 34:46Connor Wood?

  No, it was, it was like, perhaps he's gotten a little bit more touch, touch ups in the stew.

• 34:52Brooke Averick?

  Oh, so you're saying it was Zac? You think it was Zac?

• 34:55Connor Wood?

  Maybe.

• 34:56Brooke Averick?

  No, if it was that, they would have put him on the jumbo with Miles.

• 34:59Connor Wood?

  I don't think, I don't think he would have done his eyebrows that dark if, because he doesn't have that dark of eyebrows.

• 35:06Brooke Averick?

  I don't, I don't think it was Zac, but it is an alarming doppel.

• 35:10Connor Wood?

  But, yeah, or you know what? They should, I mean, if anyone's looking for a body double for Zac Efron, I found one. It's remarkable. It's remarkable.

• 35:19Brooke Averick?

  That is, that is Zac Efron.

• 35:23Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 35:23Brooke Averick?

  So are you sure it wasn't?

• 35:26Connor Wood?

  100, 100p.

• 35:27Brooke Averick?

  How about you ask Dylan? Or is that weird to send him a video of his brother?

• 35:32Connor Wood?

  I like, the way I forget they're brothers and sisters, like, it's crazy.

• 35:36Brooke Averick?

  No, sometimes Dylan will say like my brother and I, it just like won't occur to me until like four hours later that he's like.

• 35:41Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 35:42Brooke Averick?

  I'm like, okay, you're talking about Zac Efron. Okay.

• 35:44Connor Wood?

  Um, what was I gonna say?

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• 36:44Brooke Averick?

  I have something to say about my dream about Zac.

• 36:48Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 36:49Brooke Averick?

  It's not that, it's just like stupid. So I'll pass, actually.

• 36:55Connor Wood?

  No, you should say it.

• 36:56Brooke Averick?

  Basically, Ariana Grande invited me to her concert.

• 36:59Connor Wood?

  Don't move.

• 37:00Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 37:01Connor Wood?

  Keep talking, though.

• 37:02Brooke Averick?

  And there was a lot that went on in the woods by the concert. I did, I did end up shooting someone, but that isn't relevant to the Zac Efron portion of the dream in which he was congratulating me. I had basically solved this huge FBI case in the woods next to the Ariana Grande concert that was connected to the stadium. And, you know, I had brought the unsub in, justice restored.

• 37:28Connor Wood?

  The what?

• 37:29Brooke Averick?

  The unsub.

• 37:30Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:31Brooke Averick?

  And Zac came up to me, or Ariana said something into the mic and was like, Brooke, it's finally time, like, we have someone we want you to meet. And then pulled me over to Zac, and then Zac was like, I have to be honest, like, I already know who you are. And then at the same time, as he said, you're friends with Dylan, I said, you know Lady Efron? And so he was like, what? And then I was like, yes, I'm friends with Dylan. And he was like, no, what did you say? And then I had to explain Lady Efron, and it was so embarrassing.

• 38:05Connor Wood?

  That's funny. How did you not think, even in your wildest dreams, that that would be a little bit endearing for the young man?

• 38:13Brooke Averick?

  In the dream?

• 38:13Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 38:15Brooke Averick?

  I don't know. I would, I don't know if that would be endearing.

• 38:20Connor Wood?

  At this point.

• 38:21Brooke Averick?

  To be like, "I am 30 and I go by Lady Ephron sometimes on the internet." Thank you. Hello.

• 38:28Connor Wood?

  Hi. No, that's, you're, you're a comedian.

• 38:30Brooke Averick?

  I'm actually 29 now, so it could be funny.

• 38:32Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Get it in while you can.

• 38:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 38:36Connor Wood?

  Um, that's fun.

• 38:38Brooke Averick?

  Thank you so much. I think you, I'm sure you were there.

• 38:42Connor Wood?

  Probably in the background screaming.

• 38:43Brooke Averick?

  I'm sure you were there.

• 38:45Connor Wood?

  Wait, wait for me.

• 38:45Brooke Averick?

  I'm sure you were there.

• 38:46Connor Wood?

  Um, you're, I'm the one you shot.

• 38:49Brooke Averick?

  No, no, no, I didn't shoot you.

• 38:52Brooke Averick?

  Also, it was not a fatal shot.

• 38:55Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 38:55Brooke Averick?

  I was just able to disarm.

• 38:57Connor Wood?

  Well done.

• 38:58Brooke Averick?

  Thank you. Neutralize the threat.

• 39:00Connor Wood?

  Patriot.

• 39:03Brooke Averick?

  Also, my gun came out of nowhere.

• 39:07Connor Wood?

  Speaking of a situation like that.

• 39:08Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 39:11Connor Wood?

  Um.

• 39:13Connor Wood?

  This morning, this is just like a story I'm gonna tell quickly. It's not related to anything. I just forgot it happened. This morning, I texted, I was texting Maggie. Cause she talks, um, a little bit about Tucker Carlson in her set.

• 39:27Connor Wood?

  And Tucker Carlson was just listed as a domestic terrorist by the White House. And I texted Maggie, "Tucker Carlson just listed as domestic terrorist by the White House." Texted, sent.

• 39:41Connor Wood?

  "I think you have the wrong person."

• 39:43Brooke Averick?

  Nice.

• 39:43Connor Wood?

  "Hope you're doing well." Texted my high school soccer coach's wife that Tucker Carlson has been listed as a...

• 39:51Brooke Averick?

  Is her name Maggie?

• 39:52Connor Wood?

  No, I'm not gonna say, but it's a lot of the same letters.

• 39:56Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 39:58Brooke Averick?

  That's the worst.

• 39:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah. She said, "Hope you're, wrong person, hope you're well." I said, "Well, just so you know, Tucker Carlson's a domestic terrorist."

• 40:07Brooke Averick?

  Hello.

• 40:07Connor Wood?

  Hello. Yeah, the domestic terrorist list is growing.

• 40:11Brooke Averick?

  Can you explain what happened to you last night?

• 40:14Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Nothing happened to me, by the way.

• 40:18Brooke Averick?

  Can you explain what you went through last night?

• 40:19Connor Wood?

  Yeah, well, okay. Okay, so last night, basically, Alex Edelman, who's a comedian, very funny, one of my buddies, messaged me over the weekend and was like, I have a show at UCSD in San Diego. Would you want to jump on? And I thought, yeah, oh, my God, I'm a huge fan of his. He's so funny.

• 40:40Connor Wood?

  Let's do it. And then I, so I'm sure this didn't go to anyone. So like, there was a schedule or anything. And then like day of, we're like driving down. And he's like, oh, it's at this auditorium, blah, blah, blah. And then he starts laughing. He's like, oh, my God, I didn't realize this is for the Jewish Arts Festival.

• 40:59Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 41:01Connor Wood?

  And so I arrive and there is like Shabbat music playing in the green room.

• 41:05Brooke Averick?

  Which I found so interesting because

• 41:07Connor Wood?

  It was a Tuesday?

• 41:08Brooke Averick?

  It was a Tuesday.

• 41:09Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 41:10Brooke Averick?

  Like the song Connor sent me a voice memo and like the song that you sent me is something that is sung on Shabbat.

• 41:16Connor Wood?

  Yeah. And it was, I think it was just maybe to get me in the mood. And then we went upstairs and like the

• 41:25Connor Wood?

  the median age of the group attending was probably 75.

• 41:29Brooke Averick?

  But I feel like you would love that, no?

• 41:32Connor Wood?

  Yeah, like, yeah.

• 41:35Brooke Averick?

  Was it like a religious Jewish community or was it like a bunch like Larry David?

• 41:40Connor Wood?

  I don't know. It was not a bunch of Larry Davids for sure. But the thing is, like, anytime you get like an audience, you want to like tailor, I tailor my set. You know, like when I'm in the South, I'm like.

• 41:53Brooke Averick?

  Sure.

• 41:56Connor Wood?

  Vaccines? Hello. I don't know. I don't know. But there I was like, I want to like. And they're like, I think it was like a little bit more things outside of my knowledge of Judaism. Like I like

• 42:08Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 42:08Connor Wood?

  No one enough. I hang out with like a lot of Jewish people.

• 42:10Brooke Averick?

  A little bit more deep cut.

• 42:12Connor Wood?

  Yeah, and like the things being said, and I had not prepared anything. And then I, I find out on, like, basically when I walked on stage, I was mediating a conversation with Alex at the end. So it was kind of just like an improv-y thing, talk through things, open it up. I had a list of questions I was asking, kind of like running through and chatting with him, kind of like live. And we're talking about his set, and like, immediately, I'm like trying to do jokes at the beginning, and like, it was not even like pity laughs, it was like completely like,

• 42:44Connor Wood?

  what, like, what is this?

• 42:45Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 42:46Connor Wood?

  And-

• 42:47Brooke Averick?

  Which is not your fault.

• 42:48Connor Wood?

  No, I think it was fine. I do think that, like, given the audience, like, they might have just been like, we're sitting and listening vibe.

• 42:55Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 42:55Connor Wood?

  And I don't receive, like, sitting and listening very well. Um, so I'm like, okay, let me just ask these questions. And at some point, I'm like, okay, we're asking the questions, we do need to have a conversation, that's what I'm here for. And I'm forgetting, like, sayings and stuff, and I'm saying things weird, and like, and I'm, we're talking about a set, and I'm like, so when you're working through a set, blah, blah, blah, you do have to, like, you're breaking it down, he's like, I had four hours of material, I broke it down for my special, no, an hour and a half. And I was like, so you had to, like, you had to, like, cut your babies?

• 43:27Connor Wood?

  And I was like,

• 43:29Connor Wood?

  okay, that was not the saying, in my head. And then, like, because I'd been trying jokes, I was like, what if they think that was a circumcision joke?

• 43:37Brooke Averick?

  Uh huh.

• 43:39Connor Wood?

  And I'm sitting there fucking sweating.

• 43:44Connor Wood?

  And then he's talking, talking, talking, I'm not even hearing a word he's saying, because I'm in my head, like, they're thinking I made a circumcision joke, and like, no one, like, ever, like, I'm looking around, like, everyone, there's 700 people, I'm like, everyone here's mad at me, and then I go, middle of a sentence, "Kill your darlings." And it was like-

• 44:03Brooke Averick?

  I've never heard, "Kill your darlings," like, I couldn't even, I couldn't-

• 44:07Connor Wood?

  And, no, but he was in the middle of the sentence.

• 44:09Brooke Averick?

  -meant by "cut your babies."

• 44:11Connor Wood?

  It's basically, like, I don't know if it applies anywhere else, but basically, like, when you're, when you're doing comedy and you, you have new jokes, you have to work into your set, you still have a set time, like, if you're, if you're a comedian, you're doing an hour special, like,

• 44:25Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 44:25Connor Wood?

  And you have an hour and a half, you have to kill off some of your darlings.

• 44:28Brooke Averick?

  Kill your darlings, I've never heard that.

• 44:29Connor Wood?

  You love these jokes, and they feel like so key to you, but you have a better joke coming in, you gotta kill your darlings. And that's another, like, cut the fat.

• 44:37Brooke Averick?

  Uh huh.

• 44:37Connor Wood?

  And sinuendo.

• 44:39Brooke Averick?

  Got it.

• 44:41Connor Wood?

  Cut the babies was not right. No, and then I just cut him off and I was like, "Kill your darlings." And they probably thought I had Tourette's.

• 44:51Brooke Averick?

  That's, you know what, that's probably best case scenario.

• 44:54Connor Wood?

  It sure wasn't.

• 44:55Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 44:55Connor Wood?

  I promise you, but he was happy, so.

• 44:57Brooke Averick?

  Okay, good.

• 44:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah, and then we went to this dinner place last night.

• 45:02Connor Wood?

  The way it was my dream venue.

• 45:04Brooke Averick?

  What was it?

• 45:05Connor Wood?

  Um, it's a bar, like dive bar. And it's like where I would put a pool table in this dive bar.

• 45:12Connor Wood?

  Benihana Grill. You order your food, you cook it yourself, and you sit around a grill and everyone's grilling, and then you walk back to your table and you order your beers.

• 45:19Brooke Averick?

  What kind of food were you grilling?

• 45:21Connor Wood?

  I got a flank steak. And I got salmon.

• 45:26Brooke Averick?

  What about people who don't want to do that?

• 45:28Connor Wood?

  You can go in there and sit and drink.

• 45:30Brooke Averick?

  No, what about people who want to eat but not grill it themselves?

• 45:33Connor Wood?

  Better bring a friend that wants to grill.

• 45:34Brooke Averick?

  Wow, so it's not even an option for the kitchen to make it for you?

• 45:38Connor Wood?

  I'm not sure, but the.

• 45:39Brooke Averick?

  So they just bring you out raw meat?

• 45:41Connor Wood?

  Yep.

• 45:42Brooke Averick?

  I would not trust myself to cook it thoroughly.

• 45:43Connor Wood?

  They have directions like on the thing, it's like if it feels.

• 45:46Brooke Averick?

  Doesn't matter.

• 45:47Connor Wood?

  If it feels like your cheek, then it's ready to go.

• 45:49Brooke Averick?

  Doesn't matter.

• 45:49Connor Wood?

  I'm not gonna put my hand on a hot piece of meat, but,

• 45:53Connor Wood?

  it was very, very cool. It was like a cool experience to me.

• 45:56Brooke Averick?

  Okay, I love that.

• 45:57Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Another San Diego experience where I was like, in San Diego, you know how I always talk about San Diego? And I'm like, every time I go, it's like I'm in a different place. Another night where I'm like, I don't, I don't recognize anything, I've never been here.

• 46:07Brooke Averick?

  That's kind of, I love San Diego, you know that.

• 46:09Connor Wood?

  You know my, I was in La Jolla.

• 46:12Brooke Averick?

  La Jolla.

• 46:13Connor Wood?

  But I drove back up here. I'm thinking, I'll leave really early and I'll get up here and we'll celebrate Izzy's birthday and everything, I'll leave.

• 46:22Connor Wood?

  Suggested time to leave on Waze, 5:40.

• 46:24Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 46:27Connor Wood?

  Hello!

• 46:28Brooke Averick?

  Did you leave at 5:40?

• 46:29Connor Wood?

  Yeah, can you believe it?

• 46:30Brooke Averick?

  No!

• 46:30Connor Wood?

  I had it at 5:40, I honestly like, called my dad, listened to music, sang.

• 46:35Brooke Averick?

  How long was the drive?

• 46:37Connor Wood?

  Two hours, 48 minutes.

• 46:39Brooke Averick?

  Why was it so long?

• 46:40Connor Wood?

  There's, there's traffic.

• 46:41Brooke Averick?

  There's traffic.

• 46:42Connor Wood?

  No, the way people are crashing in the morning is crazy. It's like, not like afternoon crashing, it's like, full blown 18 wheeler turned over, but I felt so bad for the people going south, because an 18 wheeler, on that two lane road when you're going down to San Diego on the oceans on your right, there's no other road, you can't even exit. You're just on this road. An 18 wheeler fell, blocked, like, there's no going around the 18 wheeler. It was 20 miles, stop.

• 47:09Connor Wood?

  I wouldn't be here right now.

• 47:12Connor Wood?

  Thank you.

• 47:12Brooke Averick?

  That sucks.

• 47:14Connor Wood?

  It does suck.

• 47:14Brooke Averick?

  But I'm glad that you made it in one piece.

• 47:17Connor Wood?

  Thanks. Oh, um, I was gonna tell you also, this was like, related to this, did Netflix as a joke last week.

• 47:25Brooke Averick?

  Oh, wait, yeah, let's talk about it.

• 47:27Connor Wood?

  Well, the biggest thing for me, and like, the thing that I did last night, like with Alex, um, and I've been, like, kinda, I've been, kind of, talking to like, other, like, legitimate comedians this week. And it's the most real comedians have ever talked to me, like, they don't like, you know, cause, and Alex is pretty open, like, he just doesn't, he doesn't hold anything back, and he's like, "Yeah, I came to your show at Gramercy," and I was like, "I don't need to go to this TikToker show," and I'm like, "I know that's how everybody thinks about people that start comedy on TikTok," and like, "I remember being in green rooms and like, no one..."

• 47:57Brooke Averick?

  I feel that way, too.

• 47:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah, no one would talk to me, and then you go out and you prove yourself, and then they're like, "Oh."

• 48:01Brooke Averick?

  Prove yourself.

• 48:02Connor Wood?

  But there is, like, territorial, like, I'm, I'm already seeing, like, new people come out and start doing comedy, and I'm like, "Stop."

• 48:07Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I get mad when other influencers write books, and I'm like, "You..."

• 48:13Connor Wood?

  Yeah, no, it's like, the gate, the gate should have closed after I went, "My turn, I wanna go." Hello.

• 48:19Brooke Averick?

  My, my turn.

• 48:22Brooke Averick?

  Do you know what that's from?

• 48:23Connor Wood?

  No.

• 48:24Brooke Averick?

  Forget it.

• 48:25Connor Wood?

  Who cares?

• 48:26Brooke Averick?

  Who gives a fuck? It's from that episode of The Office, it's just frickin' incredible dinner party.

• 48:31Connor Wood?

  Oh, I just watched that.

• 48:32Brooke Averick?

  When Michael goes, "My, my, my turn," and Jan is like, "Whoa, babe."

• 48:36Connor Wood?

  I just, I just...

• 48:37Brooke Averick?

  It's so good, it's the best episode. That's the Asabuka has to brace for three.

• 48:42Connor Wood?

  I, I just watched that with the TV.

• 48:44Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, the plasma?

• 48:47Brooke Averick?

  Sorry, did I cut you off?

• 48:48Connor Wood?

  No, I'm wondering what's happening in my stomach, not outside. Uh, no, that was it, it's just like, this is like, it's like legitimized the comedy.

• 48:57Brooke Averick?

  Well, what, did he say you proved yourself?

• 48:59Connor Wood?

  No, he didn't come.

• 49:00Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I thought he went to Gramercy.

• 49:01Connor Wood?

  He went to Gramercy two years ago.

• 49:03Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 49:04Connor Wood?

  And I was like, "Have you been holding on, like, to this?" This was our first time meeting on our three-year drive down to San Diego.

• 49:09Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 49:10Connor Wood?

  But we have, like, a ton of mutual friends.

• 49:11Brooke Averick?

  That's my worst nightmare. Hello.

• 49:13Connor Wood?

  Hi. Yeah, it was, okay.

• 49:17Brooke Averick?

  Were you driving or shopping?

• 49:18Connor Wood?

  I mean, it was good, it was good. I was driving. Um, I have this little Hyundai, that's like, half-electric, half-gas.

• 49:26Brooke Averick?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 49:27Connor Wood?

  It's, like, I get it. It was awesome. I filled up the tank one time.

• 49:35Brooke Averick?

  Like to and from San Diego?

• 49:38Connor Wood?

  No, I like the whole time I've been here, I've been here for two weeks.

• 49:40Brooke Averick?

  Oh wow.

• 49:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 49:41Brooke Averick?

  That's cool.

• 49:42Connor Wood?

  Yeah, like no one, like you're listening to a podcast where I'm telling you that I filled up my tank and my Hyundai is amazing. Sorry, like I'll move forward. Um, but that was, that was a good show. Like that was like one of my more fun shows just because it like went really well, but I talked about it.

• 50:00Brooke Averick?

  It was so good.

• 50:00Connor Wood?

  Thanks, thanks for coming.

• 50:01Brooke Averick?

  You should be so proud.

• 50:02Connor Wood?

  Brooke came, my grandma came.

• 50:04Brooke Averick?

  I didn't get to see Mimi.

• 50:05Connor Wood?

  Cousin Logan came, understandably.

• 50:07Brooke Averick?

  I did get to see Cousin Logan. She got in a lot of trouble for taking a picture of you. They were so, there was this one guy that was so strict, Connor, you couldn't breathe without him breathing down your neck.

• 50:20Connor Wood?

  That was like the craziest, they, the venue was like so insane. We did a meet and greet after and we all went upstairs and like, there was not a single person on the staff there and it was just like bizarre and we were like so far away from everyone and we didn't know what to do and there were like people that had bought meet and greet tickets and they were just standing in the room with you and I. And they're like, what do we do? And I was like, I don't know where we are.

• 50:42Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I didn't know what was going on there, but I loved every second of it and

• 50:47Brooke Averick?

  you were amazing and shit like that.

• 50:48Connor Wood?

  It was very fun.

• 50:49Brooke Averick?

  It was fun.

• 50:49Connor Wood?

  Um, I think, uh, I don't know.

• 50:51Brooke Averick?

  Say it.

• 50:52Connor Wood?

  But no, it's fine.

• 50:53Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 50:53Connor Wood?

  But, um, and then that's the last thing I'll, well, I go to Milwaukee this weekend. I'll see you in Milwaukee for a show. And then, why?

• 51:02Brooke Averick?

  I just like get confused. So now you're just doing like one-off shows?

• 51:07Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 51:08Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 51:08Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Keeping fresh because I filmed my, I'm not calling it a special.

• 51:12Brooke Averick?

  Tight and fresh.

• 51:13Connor Wood?

  I'm, I'm filming a spectacle first month of June and I'm going to read it off where I'm going because I want you guys to come. I haven't announced, I think this will be announced by the time we go live with this, but June 10th and 11th, I'm in Fort Lauderdale. June 12th, I'm in Tampa and June 13th, I'm in Orlando with Maggie Winters and Xavier Phillips, Fibs and Friends. We're, we're taping it. We're taping a special is what people, people call it, but it's a spectacle because it's going to be very different.

• 51:41Brooke Averick?

  I love that y'all are like a little family.

• 51:43Connor Wood?

  It's great.

• 51:44Brooke Averick?

  It really is.

• 51:44Connor Wood?

  So it's, makes it so easy and we have such a different dynamic.

• 51:47Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 51:48Connor Wood?

  It's very fun.

• 51:48Brooke Averick?

  It's so good.

• 51:50Connor Wood?

  And I can't wait to be in Florida.

• 51:51Brooke Averick?

  I know, I love Florida.

• 51:52Connor Wood?

  It's gonna be great. And you're gonna be on tour too while I'm on tour.

• 51:55Brooke Averick?

  Ah!

• 51:55Connor Wood?

  We're gonna be two, two touring, we better talk about, did we talk about scheduling yet?

• 51:59Brooke Averick?

  Yes, we did, baby.

• 52:01Connor Wood?

  Spooky.

• 52:02Brooke Averick?

  Um, I am, I guess nesting, you could say. In preparation of Phoebe and Tor.

• 52:09Connor Wood?

  Good.

• 52:10Brooke Averick?

  I'm not kidding. And like, this is mental illness, but it's fine because like, I know I will snap out of it. Like when I have to, because I don't have another choice. I have gone complete like agoraphobic, like can't leave the house unless I have to. Sunlight like burns my eyes and skin. Like, I like, I cannot leave the house like in preparation. Like I think my body in mind knows that like, I will not be home for a while. And so my body is bound to the home like legally and like the up, there's like a biological component of my body that like cannot step outside. Or do any, or respond to an email or text. It's really amazing.

• 52:47Connor Wood?

  That's okay. I don't, I wish I had like some, something deep to say.

• 52:50Brooke Averick?

  Um, there's nothing and like everyone is like concerned in a way that I'm like, no, like it will pass. It will, it will totally subside the moment I step on the plane because it has to.

• 53:03Connor Wood?

  It'll understand.

• 53:03Brooke Averick?

  But like, I am definitely nesting.

• 53:07Connor Wood?

  That's awesome to me.

• 53:08Brooke Averick?

  I'm hernating.

• 53:08Connor Wood?

  Cause I'll be, I'll be like moving around, doing a ton of stuff. And then I'll go do the traveling stuff. And then I'm like, I'm gonna end it.

• 53:16Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 53:16Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna end it all.

• 53:19Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 53:19Connor Wood?

  I nest post, I nest in post.

• 53:21Brooke Averick?

  Okay. So I'm definitely nesting pre and like, I almost can't even imagine what will happen post. What I'm worried about is that I come back on the weekends for a day. And I'm worried about

• 53:36Brooke Averick?

  getting like having to leave again. And like, if my body will let me.

• 53:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 53:40Brooke Averick?

  You know? So it's, it'll be interesting to see.

• 53:42Connor Wood?

  You'll just be on autopilot. Like I think your feet will just move and your body will move and you'll go to the airport and you'll pack your bags and it'll be just like.

• 53:48Brooke Averick?

  I'm, I'm just so curious, like so excited and so lucky. I'm just very curious about how I'm going to handle it. I'm looking forward to finding out.

• 53:56Connor Wood?

  I think it'll be kind of like you're, like you're on crack. Like I think it's gonna be awesome.

• 54:00Brooke Averick?

  I definitely wonder.

• 54:01Connor Wood?

  I think you're, you're gonna be a nerd to do it.

• 54:02Brooke Averick?

  I definitely wonder. So that's exciting. And less than two weeks.

• 54:08Connor Wood?

  Less than two weeks for

• 54:09Brooke Averick?

  She comes out.

• 54:10Connor Wood?

  P B G L I, P B G L A.

• 54:13Brooke Averick?

  She pops.

• 54:13Connor Wood?

  Oh, that's why I want to make TikToks. Cause I'm gonna do a promo for Phoebe, but just like in my own way.

• 54:17Brooke Averick?

  What will the way be?

• 54:19Connor Wood?

  It's like, you just have to agree to do all these TikToks with me that are fun. And I'll make the caption, Phoebe Berman, X amount of days out.

• 54:25Brooke Averick?

  That works.

• 54:26Connor Wood?

  Perfect. Cause they're fun. It will, it will be so fun.

• 54:30Brooke Averick?

  I want to do the Puerto Rico song, but I don't want to get in trouble if it's AI, honestly.

• 54:33Connor Wood?

  No, everyone's come to terms with that.

• 54:35Brooke Averick?

  I don't like, I don't get it. Like some people are, like some things are okay and some things are not. I don't know where the line is.

• 54:41Connor Wood?

  It's truly like.

• 54:42Brooke Averick?

  I don't know.

• 54:43Connor Wood?

  It's truly like, we like this person, they can use AI.

• 54:46Brooke Averick?

  I don't get it.

• 54:47Connor Wood?

  Is anyone mad at Reese Witherspoon? I'm confused. Okay.

• 54:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, but she doubled down.

• 54:52Connor Wood?

  I know. Well, she's a businesswoman. Like it truly is like she doesn't, she's not reading any feedback from people.

• 54:58Brooke Averick?

  See, like I, and I actually, I'm done saying controversial things.

• 55:01Connor Wood?

  You, you can't say it. I, I can. I will just say like, when you're, she's adapting these amazing books. It's like, at what point do you need AI for that? Like what, you have the, you have that and then you have writers. Like I'm confused. Like where AI would come in.

• 55:17Brooke Averick?

  No, I didn't, I don't think that she plans on using AI.

• 55:22Connor Wood?

  I'd say it feels like a message of someone getting ahead of it.

• 55:25Brooke Averick?

  I think she's just like, I want to understand it because it's happening whether we like it or not. I did not take it as I'm going to be implementing AI into my projects, but to each their own.

• 55:41Connor Wood?

  That's how I received it, but I'll keep a very open mind. I hope not. I really like her.

• 55:45Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, we'll keep our.

• 55:47Connor Wood?

  But the Puerto Rican, Puerto Rican guy, Puerto Rican guy can use it. I, that song like, you are the only exception.

• 55:58Brooke Averick?

  Ah, I love that song.

• 56:00Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's really good.

• 56:02Brooke Averick?

  Paramore and still into you by Paramore.

• 56:05Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's a good song. I listened to it on the way here.

• 56:07Brooke Averick?

  No, you did not.

• 56:07Connor Wood?

  Yeah. You know what else I listened to? I promise you, cause it was on a really weird playlist. Believe women. Yeah. I listened to that song on the way here. I also listened to, no, no, no, no, don't funk with my heart. I, I miss the days when like, song names would be like, don't funk with my heart. And it was like, oh, you're bad.

• 56:25Brooke Averick?

  Like if you seek Amy.

• 56:26Connor Wood?

  Oh, that was my other example.

• 56:28Brooke Averick?

  Literally took five years, literally one day in the most random, like I was in the supermarket and it dawned on me.

• 56:33Connor Wood?

  No, it was like, innuendo. I'm like, and, and.

• 56:36Brooke Averick?

  Hello.

• 56:37Connor Wood?

  And my, I'm going to listen to this in my bedroom and my parents don't know. And now the songs are like, eat my pussy immediately.

• 56:42Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Remember "You And Your Hand" by Pink?

• 56:47Connor Wood?

  No!

• 56:47Brooke Averick?

  You don't remember that one?

• 56:48Connor Wood?

  That's our bonus song.

• 56:50Brooke Averick?

  You don't remember "You And Your Hand"? It's just you and your hand and I... That was so good.

• 56:56Connor Wood?

  No, I didn't know that.

• 56:57Brooke Averick?

  I had no idea what she talked, what she meant.

• 57:00Connor Wood?

  Oh, I get it.

• 57:01Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 57:01Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 57:02Brooke Averick?

  I didn't, until I did, multiple years later.

• 57:05Connor Wood?

  Until I did, multiple times later.

• 57:08Brooke Averick?

  I remember, poor Gabby, my sister, like, had older siblings, obviously, and so she would get in trouble for explaining what songs meant to her classmates, because she was just trying to get ahead of it and warn them, and she got in trouble for telling everybody, um, what's that whistle song?

• 57:26Connor Wood?

  Are you gonna blow my whistle, baby?

• 57:27Brooke Averick?

  Yes, so she let everyone know, just the subtext and the deeper meaning behind that song, and she got in trouble.

• 57:34Connor Wood?

  Okay, I tru-

• 57:35Brooke Averick?

  Which she shouldn't have.

• 57:35Connor Wood?

  I truly think that's an art that we need to bring back, like, these kids, like-

• 57:39Brooke Averick?

  She's dissecting lyrics.

• 57:40Connor Wood?

  It's genuinely impossible for that, like, it's just, it's just handed out now, it's like, this song is about sucking and blowing dicks, you know, like-

• 57:49Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, Candy Shop?

• 57:51Connor Wood?

  Brilliant work. Also, Lollipop?

• 57:54Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that was really, I remember someone telling me about that when I was little, and I was like, this is deeply upsetting.

• 57:59Connor Wood?

  No, no, no. The beginning of the song is, "Call me so I can make it juicy for you." I go, "How do you make a lollipop juicy?" What does he mean by that?

• 58:11Connor Wood?

  "So good that make me wanna lick the wrapper?"

• 58:16Brooke Averick?

  That couldn't mean-

• 58:16Connor Wood?

  He actually, he actually said, "No homo, no homo, but I wanna lick the wrapper."

• 58:19Brooke Averick?

  Did he say no homo?

• 58:20Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 58:20Brooke Averick?

  I wanna bring that back.

• 58:24Brooke Averick?

  I think you can, if you're an ally.

• 58:25Connor Wood?

  I said, "He's so sweet, make her wanna lick the wrapper, no homo."

• 58:31Connor Wood?

  So I gotta get out of it?

• 58:32Brooke Averick?

  No, ah, oh, the first thing he says is no homo?

• 58:36Connor Wood?

  No homo, I said, "He's so sweet, make her wanna lick the wrapper." And like-

• 58:40Brooke Averick?

  He's just like, talking about his buddy?

• 58:43Connor Wood?

  I, no.

• 58:45Brooke Averick?

  What it, wait, what song is this?

• 58:47Connor Wood?

  Lollipop.

• 58:48Brooke Averick?

  I was talking about, "I'll Take You To The Candy Shop." Candy Shop.

• 58:52Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I mean, this is just like an offshoot, I'm sure.

• 58:55Brooke Averick?

  Sorry.

• 58:56Connor Wood?

  She, she, she lick me like a lollipop, yeah. She, she lick me like a lollipop, lollipop, yeah. She, she lick me like a lollipop, lollipop, yeah. She, she lick me like a lollipop, lollipop, yeah. And that's in honor of Tucker Carlson being a domestic terrorist. I wanted to read it like him. Um, "Shawty Wanna Thug?" Yeah. "Bottles In The Club?" Yeah. "Shawty Wanna Hump?" You Know I Like To Touch, yeah. "Your Lovely Lady Lumps?" Yeah.

• 59:20Brooke Averick?

  I want to talk about the no homo.

• 59:22Connor Wood?

  Sure.

• 59:23Brooke Averick?

  Because I don't get it. So, okay, intro, Lil Wayne. Ow, uh-huh.

• 59:30Connor Wood?

  Can we click on the genius lyrics? Maybe they can explain them to us?

• 59:33Brooke Averick?

  No homo. Like, he says, the first thing he says is no homo.

• 59:36Connor Wood?

  Here Lil Wayne expresses his intention before he starts saying, "No homo." He's not gay.

• 59:41Brooke Averick?

  So, but just, he is setting the scene for the entire song.

• 59:44Connor Wood?

  The word rapper creates-

• 59:46Brooke Averick?

  But what could be perceived as gay?

• 59:48Connor Wood?

  He's a rapper, and he's talking about a rapper for a piece of candy. "You wanna lick it 'cause it's so sweet." She wants to lick his cock and balls.

• 59:55Brooke Averick?

  But what could be gay about that?

• 59:57Connor Wood?

  He's quoting her, but in the song, you can't hear him do quotation marks.

• 1:00:02Brooke Averick?

  Okay, so he's singing from the POV of a woman.

• 1:00:05Connor Wood?

  "She wants to lick the rapper of the lollipop as it's so sweet." "She wants to lick Lil Wayne, the rapper."

• 1:00:10Brooke Averick?

  He's getting in the head of a woman, and he's like, "No homo, I'm singing from the POV of a woman. I'm not yearning for this cock and balls."

• 1:00:17Connor Wood?

  Exactly, Brooke.

• 1:00:18Brooke Averick?

  Okay, I get it.

• 1:00:19Connor Wood?

  Symbolism is everywhere.

• 1:00:20Brooke Averick?

  I get it.

• 1:00:21Connor Wood?

  For those who wish to see it.

• 1:00:22Brooke Averick?

  I get it.

• 1:00:23Connor Wood?

  This is a, this is a brilliant song. And this was one of my favorite songs. One of my first songs I split headphones with someone for.

• 1:00:30Brooke Averick?

  Mine was Pussy Money Lead.

• 1:00:33Connor Wood?

  Fabulous piece of work.

• 1:00:34Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:35Connor Wood?

  I also, that was, wow, I didn't know that you listened to any Lil Wayne.

• 1:00:38Brooke Averick?

  Only because my crush liked it. I was making my Facebook status a little lame in the lyrics.

• 1:00:43Connor Wood?

  He's great. He's one of my favorites.

• 1:00:45Brooke Averick?

  Mine too.

• 1:00:47Connor Wood?

  What were we talking about before this?

• 1:00:48Brooke Averick?

  I don't know.

• 1:00:48Connor Wood?

  Oh, we're about to do Wordle on the bonus, and, okay, I really like-

• 1:00:58Connor Wood?

  I really wanna say something.

• 1:00:59Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:01:03Connor Wood?

  Let me like read back what I was thinking about it before I say it, just to make sure like, this is kosher.

• 1:01:10Brooke Averick?

  I have to sneeze.

• 1:01:13Brooke Averick?

  Thank you.

• 1:01:14Connor Wood?

  Everyone copes differently.

• 1:01:19Connor Wood?

  To announce a hosting of Wordle.

• 1:01:26Connor Wood?

  To cope with your odd and mysterious murder of your elderly mother.

• 1:01:34Brooke Averick?

  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did she say that she was launching this in order to cope?

• 1:01:40Connor Wood?

  No, I would probably just be nesting right now. I don't know.

• 1:01:43Brooke Averick?

  I mean, what's she supposed to do? Just lock herself in her house?

• 1:01:48Connor Wood?

  I don't, I was just like, I'm sorry, the Wordle of it all, like really changed. Like if she was now the new host of Jeopardy, I'd be like, that's a noble step. Just like, Wordle?

• 1:01:59Brooke Averick?

  To me, like that perhaps a Wordle game show could be the only thing that brings me back from the ashes.

• 1:02:05Connor Wood?

  Okay, you just re, re, re, then, hello?

• 1:02:09Brooke Averick?

  Like it's light and like.

• 1:02:11Connor Wood?

  Executive producer Jimmy Fallon. There's like a lot of nefariousness in this. Like the Jimmy Fallon of it all. I'm like, the Wordle of it all.

• 1:02:19Brooke Averick?

  I don't love the Jimmy Fallon of it all, but like, I think this could be a good project for her. I really do.

• 1:02:27Connor Wood?

  Why is the Holocaust trending?

• 1:02:30Brooke Averick?

  Sigh.

• 1:02:33Brooke Averick?

  I don't know.

• 1:02:36Connor Wood?

  All right, maybe that's not how we end.

• 1:02:39Brooke Averick?

  I don't wanna end on the Holocaust.

• 1:02:40Connor Wood?

  Can we end with, I can touch my toes again?

• 1:02:43Brooke Averick?

  What do you mean?

• 1:02:43Connor Wood?

  I remember how I've been working on having to touch my toes for like the past three years.

• 1:02:47Brooke Averick?

  Genuinely no.

• 1:02:48Connor Wood?

  Okay. I can touch them again.

• 1:02:51Brooke Averick?

  Yay!

• 1:02:52Connor Wood?

  That's how, that's how we can end.

• 1:02:53Brooke Averick?

  All right, well.

• 1:02:54Connor Wood?

  If I tried to, tried to prove it to you, I would, uh, what's this?

• 1:03:01Brooke Averick?

  I don't know.

• 1:03:03Connor Wood?

  What's that?

• 1:03:04Brooke Averick?

  I don't know.

• 1:03:04Connor Wood?

  Saxof- what's it?

• 1:03:06Brooke Averick?

  Oh, accordion?

• 1:03:06Connor Wood?

  Accordion. I'd accordion, I'd accordion out some pee. Cause I'd squeeze.

• 1:03:10Brooke Averick?

  Oh, okay. Gotcha.

• 1:03:12Connor Wood?

  I would pee. All right. Thank you guys so much for listening. Uh, we'll see you in the bonus.

• 1:03:15Brooke Averick?

  Love you. Happy birthday, Izzy.

• 1:03:16Connor Wood?

  Thank you, Izzy, for everything that you do for us. Bye.

• 1:03:28Speaker 05

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