Here’s an Important Power You Have

The ask is just an ask, you know. Whether they’re asking you to pass the salt or asking you for a hundred thousand dollar loan, whether they’re asking you what you weigh or if you can come in and work on Sunday, the ask is just the ask. We decide that it’s offensive or presumptuous or rude. That’s what Epictetus was saying when he observed that it’s not events that upset us, but our judgement about events. The request is objective—just words coming out of someone’s mouth. The opinion that it’s objectionable is just that. Your opinion. We have to remember that we hold this power. We don’t need to get upset. We don’t need to be taken apart. We just need to realize that all someone has done is utter some words at us, and that we are free to ignore them, grant the request, or politely explain why we’re not interested. Epictetus said that when we get offended—when we get upset and think, “How dare they?” or “Wow, that’s a huge imposition they just tried to foist on me”—we are complicit. We have chosen to be upset. We have chosen to hear or read the request that way. We could have just let it go. We could have seen it for what it was—simply an ask. And then moved on. We have that power. We choose whether we exercise it or not. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to The Daily Stoic, where each day we read a short passage designed to help you cultivate the strength, insight, wisdom necessary for living the good life. Each one of these passages is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us at DailyStoic.com.

• 0:29Ryan Holiday?

  Here's an important power that you have. The ask is just an ask, you know. Whether they're asking you to pass the salt or asking you for a $100,000 loan, whether they're asking you what you weigh, or if you can come in and work on Sunday, the ask is just the ask. We decide that it's offensive, or presumptuous, or rude. That's what Epictetus was saying when he observed that it's not events that upset us, but our judgment about events. The request is objective, just words coming out of someone's mouth. The opinion that it's objectionable is just that, your opinion. We have to remember that we hold this power. We don't need to get upset. We don't need to be taken apart. We just need

• 1:13Ryan Holiday?

  to realize that all someone has done is utter some words at us, and that we are free to ignore them, grant the quest, or politely explain why we're not interested. Epictetus said that when we get offended, when we get upset and think, "How dare they?" Or, "Wow, that's a huge imposition they are trying to foist on me." We are complicit. We have chosen to be upset. We have chosen to hear and read the request that way. We could have just let it go. We could have seen it for what it was, simply an ask, and moved on. We have that power. We choose whether we exercise it or not. Hey, everyone. Obviously, you're listening to this podcast. You've probably read our Daily Stoic book. Maybe you get our Daily Stoic emails. If you wanted to take some

• 1:57Ryan Holiday?

  Daily Stoic wisdom with you to the office, for your kitchen counter... Well, we've made a daily Stoic page a day calendar. It's starting with the year 2020. It doesn't take a prophet to guess that 2020 is going to be a crazy year. It's an election year in the US, start of a new decade. And I think we could all use a little guidance in the year to come. And so this daily calendar features quotes that match that page in the Daily Stoic each day. So these are our original translations of Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Epictetus, and many others. Each month has the same theme as the book, and each day has a quote and a theme as well. And I think this will help you live your best life throughout the year. You can check out the calendar in the Daily Stoic store, dailystoic.com/store.

• 2:42Ryan Holiday?

  2020 is starting soon, and this is the only place you can get this awesome calendar.