Everything Is Stupid Except Punch and Porch Goose

Donate to the ALS Association: https://www.als.org/?form=general&s_src=donatebutton Come see BNC live! https://linktr.ee/bnclive Pre-order Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It: https://sites.prh.com/phoebe-bermans-gonna-lose-it SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr This week, Brooke and Connor talk about the their three fun facts, identifying as double jointed, and the new JFK Jr. show. Plus, Connor recaps his trip to the Olympics and Brooke learns about frame mogging and looksmaxxing. Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/ Join the loyalty program for renters at https://joinbilt.com/bnc Go to https://nuuly.com and enter the code BNC at sign up to get $28 off your first month. Go to https://Nutrafol.com and use promo code BANDC for $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping Join for free at https://rakuten.com or download the Rakuten app to start saving money today Use code BNC for 15% off at https://barebells.com B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 0:00 We’re Going On Tour!!!! 0:44 Intro 1:00 It’s Ok To Take Breaks 2:05 Run Ins. 5:56 Fisting Clam Chowder 9:33 Figuring Out Our 3 Fun Facts 15:09 Exploring The Double Jointed Community 19:42 Bilt 20:52 Nuuly 22:39 The New York Blizz 23:53 Horned Up For Love Story 28:39 We Need New Faces 32:10 Excited About TV Again!! 33:23 All Eyes On Punch the Monkey 37:22 Nutrafol 39:13 Rakuten 40:10 Barebells 41:23 Getting Emotional Over Porch Goose 46:26 Connor Goes To The Olympics 49:25 Getting Lost In Paris 55:20 Completely Framed Mogged 1:00:04 Phoebe Is Going On Tour!!! 1:04:19 We’re Also Going On Tour!!! 1:05:47 Bonding With Dylan E. 1:07:43 Loving Symbolism & Jacob Elordi 1:10:09 RIP Eric Dane 1:10:43 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:37Brooke Averick?

  Hey, guys. Guess what? We're going on tour!

• 1:42Connor Wood?

  We're going on a mini tour.

• 1:46Brooke Averick?

  Three shows.

• 1:46Connor Wood?

  Three shows, three separate days.

• 1:49Brooke Averick?

  Three places in California. Give them due respect.

• 1:53Connor Wood?

  Yeah, okay, well, I have the dates here. On April 3rd, we'll be in San Diego at the Balboa Theater. On April 8th, we'll be in Irvine at the Irvine Improv. And on the 11th of April, we'll be in Sacramento at Channel 24. And we look forward to seeing you there.

• 2:31Brooke Averick?

  Hmm, I kinda have to go to the bathroom, but it's like,

• 2:36Brooke Averick?

  I don't know if it's worth it.

• 2:38Connor Wood?

  Cause it's all the way over there?

• 2:39Brooke Averick?

  It's all the way over there. It's not like at a hundred percent. You know?

• 2:46Connor Wood?

  Well, if you need to take a break, I have so many topics on my notes today.

• 2:49Brooke Averick?

  I bet. You've had a busy few weeks.

• 2:52Connor Wood?

  No, like, these are like, things that are happening in the, in our world.

• 2:56Brooke Averick?

  Oh, okay, those?

• 2:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 2:59Brooke Averick?

  Okay. Well, should I, uh, I'm gonna stay here. And if I need to go to the bathroom later, I need to go to the bathroom later. It's not a big deal.

• 3:08Connor Wood?

  It's not a big deal.

• 3:10Brooke Averick?

  Hey, man. Oh, Izzy, I didn't need, I did not say I had to poop. I did not say that.

• 3:15Connor Wood?

  What is she bringing over to you?

• 3:17Brooke Averick?

  You took away. What?

• 3:18Connor Wood?

  What is she?

• 3:18Brooke Averick?

  She said everyone poops.

• 3:20Connor Wood?

  Hmm.

• 3:21Brooke Averick?

  But I hadn't said anything about poop. So it's actually Izzy. Izzy got poop on the brain today. Are we recording?

• 3:30Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah, let's make sure that that wasn't included in the beginning of our episode.

• 3:33Brooke Averick?

  No, I liked that.

• 3:34Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 3:36Brooke Averick?

  Um, I do just have to start off by saying something happened on the way here that rocked me.

• 3:40Connor Wood?

  Oh, hit me with that bassline and hit me with a treble.

• 3:44Brooke Averick?

  I saw one of my exes as I was driving here.

• 3:47Connor Wood?

  You know, I was gonna, I was gonna ask you that because I'm not, I don't feel like I know what, and I racked my brain on what soup ex could mean.

• 3:55Brooke Averick?

  Um, I have, I've actually only spoken about it in the bonus. But-

• 4:00Connor Wood?

  Was I not here?

• 4:01Brooke Averick?

  No, you were completely here. I spoke about it multiple times to you. We engaged in a conversation about it. The guy who brought me soup when I was feeling under the weather.

• 4:11Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 4:12Brooke Averick?

  Just saw him walking down the street. We had had a really strong connection over text. And I was like, I had a really big crush. And then, I will say, fizzled pretty immediately, uh, during meeting and after meeting as well.

• 4:27Brooke Averick?

  But I really wanna go back to the way we were before we met. And I'm thinking, I could text him two things right now. I also wanna flag that it also could have been the fact that I was handing him the bowl of soup. And my, my entire hand slipped into it. As I was handing it to him and I should have just handed him the one that my, cuz there were two bowls of soup. One had had my entire fist in it and one hadn't. And I gave him the one that my hand had slipped into and said, sorry.

• 4:59Connor Wood?

  I think that's

• 5:00Brooke Averick?

  And I think that could have been the end. I don't know. I don't know what the end was. I think

• 5:07Brooke Averick?

  I understood why it was an end, but I wanna know why he thought it was an end. But anyway, I think I could text him two things. One, I saw you walking down the street.

• 5:20Brooke Averick?

  Two, what happened to us?

• 5:23Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 5:27Connor Wood?

  Right. I think maybe, what about a hybrid between the two?

• 5:31Brooke Averick?

  I saw you walking down the street. What happened to us?

• 5:33Connor Wood?

  No. Hey, what was he wearing today?

• 5:37Brooke Averick?

  Like Kim Possible vibes.

• 5:39Connor Wood?

  Like black shirt up top and some khakis?

• 5:41Brooke Averick?

  I think so.

• 5:42Connor Wood?

  Okay. I'd say,

• 5:45Connor Wood?

  how come you didn't wear those khakis over to my house? Maybe we need to, maybe you need to wear those khakis over to my house sometime.

• 5:49Brooke Averick?

  Nice. I want to go back to the way we were before we met.

• 5:53Connor Wood?

  Oh, well then say, how come, how come you didn't wear those khakis over to my house when we hung out? And then that doesn't

• 5:59Brooke Averick?

  I don't wanna draw attention to the fact that we ever met. I wanna go back to the way we were.

• 6:04Connor Wood?

  Then say, nice, nice khakis.

• 6:07Brooke Averick?

  I can't guarantee that he was wearing khakis. Can't guarantee it.

• 6:12Connor Wood?

  Then, nice, nice strut.

• 6:14Brooke Averick?

  I'm gonna text him that I saw him.

• 6:15Connor Wood?

  Maybe you say, maybe you say, this is crazy. You had some pep in your step. Did you get laid?

• 6:29Connor Wood?

  So you're walking down, so you're walking down.

• 6:31Brooke Averick?

  Ding ding ding ding ding.

• 6:33Connor Wood?

  That's the one. So you're walking down Sunset. You, you looked chipper.

• 6:37Brooke Averick?

  Uh, it's just hard when like, you have a history like ours. I don't want to open, I don't want to reopen any old wounds.

• 6:47Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 6:47Brooke Averick?

  For anyone. You want to know what happened on his end?

• 6:52Brooke Averick?

  And if it had anything to do with my hand in the soup.

• 6:55Connor Wood?

  I don't think so. I think like the hand in the soup is something unless, and I don't think you want to, I don't, ultimately, I don't think you want to be with someone who is genuinely turned off permanently by a little hand in there, a little bit of hand in there.

• 7:09Brooke Averick?

  But I wonder, I, I need to know if that's what it was, you know?

• 7:12Connor Wood?

  I think so. I really like, but I'm serious. I don't think that that would be.

• 7:16Brooke Averick?

  He ate the soup.

• 7:18Connor Wood?

  Of course he ate the soup. Then there's no way it was that.

• 7:22Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 7:23Connor Wood?

  No, I don't think you eat the soup.

• 7:25Brooke Averick?

  I'll text him.

• 7:27Connor Wood?

  I don't think you eat the soup. Like that reminds me of a time when I was at my friend's house. And this was in like high school and her dad made clam chowder and.

• 7:38Brooke Averick?

  And this was chicken noodle. So it's not like I put a fist in his clam chowder, if you know what I mean.

• 7:44Connor Wood?

  I do know what you mean.

• 7:47Connor Wood?

  A fist in the clam chowder is different because there's a lot of like residuals that are, that follow.

• 7:53Brooke Averick?

  Then it not only becomes the issue of I put um, my hand in your soup, it's your chowder got in my hand, you know?

• 8:01Connor Wood?

  Now I'm dealing with the chowder on my hand.

• 8:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, there's like, that's, that's a double issue. This was more singular.

• 8:06Connor Wood?

  I want you to consider the fact that like,

• 8:11Connor Wood?

  the viscosity of, of a, of a chicken noodle.

• 8:14Brooke Averick?

  Good word.

• 8:15Connor Wood?

  Yes, that came to me in a, in the, in the form of syrup from like high school. Um, the viscosity of a soup, a chicken noodle versus imagine if it was clam chowder on your couch, where would you wipe it on your newly sweater?

• 8:31Brooke Averick?

  Exactly. No.

• 8:31Connor Wood?

  You'd have chowder all over you.

• 8:32Brooke Averick?

  Lick it off of my fingers.

• 8:33Connor Wood?

  You'd have to lick it.

• 8:34Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 8:35Connor Wood?

  Which could be sexy.

• 8:36Brooke Averick?

  Something you can come back from.

• 8:37Connor Wood?

  Which could be sexy.

• 8:38Brooke Averick?

  Sucking clam chowder off my fingers?

• 8:40Connor Wood?

  Sure.

• 8:43Connor Wood?

  Now my friend's dad.

• 8:44Brooke Averick?

  Okay, now that is hot.

• 8:45Connor Wood?

  When my friend's dad sucked the clam chowder off of his finger after he had tried to get me one extra chunk because he was scooping. And he dropped the chunk. So he grabbed the chunk, put it in my bowl.

• 8:56Brooke Averick?

  I didn't know what you were saying, the C word today.

• 8:59Connor Wood?

  I don't know what, how else I would explain that part of the chowder.

• 9:05Brooke Averick?

  Clams, because you know, I like won't even, I've never had clam chowder. I won't go near it.

• 9:10Connor Wood?

  I remember the chowder being good, but I couldn't get past the fact that he had these fingers.

• 9:17Connor Wood?

  Yeah, you don't forget someone's fingers.

• 9:19Brooke Averick?

  You don't forget clam chowder fingers?

• 9:20Connor Wood?

  No, that's something that sticks with you.

• 9:23Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. So the chunks are clams. So we can just call, let's just call it what it is clam.

• 9:29Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah. So my friend's dad was, was tossing his clam over to my bowl. And um, he was licking clam off his fingers. Anyways, it was really good. I do remember being like, it was one of those things where.

• 9:44Brooke Averick?

  I like clams.

• 9:45Connor Wood?

  Well, it was one of those things. I don't really know what the chowder is. That's my, and I'm a big texture person, you know that. And so it was my first time with the chowder. It was my first time with a clam and the combo of the two, it was kind of like I had already been invited over for dinner. I'd already said, yes, they're Italian. What am I to do? I can't leave. They would take it very personally. So I just sucked it up. I ate the chowder. I watched your dad lick his fingers and I enjoyed it. I didn't enjoy the fingers. I just enjoyed the chowder.

• 10:15Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Yeah, no, I know I would like it. I like clams.

• 10:21Brooke Averick?

  Well, I don't see, clams and cream don't seem to be a natural mix.

• 10:25Connor Wood?

  It doesn't see. Yeah. When you really start thinking about it, it's like, how did we, how did we get here?

• 10:30Brooke Averick?

  But lobster bisque is really good.

• 10:34Brooke Averick?

  And it's similar. But to me, lobster and cream makes a lot more sense than clam and cream.

• 10:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 10:43Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I could see that because it's just, it's a butter base.

• 10:47Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 10:48Connor Wood?

  Anyways.

• 10:51Brooke Averick?

  What kind of notebook do you have in your hands?

• 10:53Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 10:53Brooke Averick?

  And the moral of the story, I do think I'm going to text him later. I will let y'all know what happens next week. Or I'll text him in the bonus.

• 11:01Connor Wood?

  I brought all of my notes.

• 11:04Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, what kind of notebook is that? I'm, I like, I'm so into like, I'm usually not like a brands girl. But when it comes to notebooks, let me know.

• 11:13Connor Wood?

  I think it's leatherology.

• 11:14Brooke Averick?

  Okay, not familiar with that.

• 11:16Connor Wood?

  Which is weird, it's, there's no lines on it, so that's something that's new to me.

• 11:19Brooke Averick?

  It's an A6, isn't it?

• 11:21Connor Wood?

  Huh?

• 11:22Brooke Averick?

  It's an A6, isn't it?

• 11:23Connor Wood?

  I don't know, it's, I'm not as in touch with the, I'm liking this though. It was really nice to have it written out and I could do arrows and stuff.

• 11:32Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 11:32Connor Wood?

  Which is helping me keep track. Now, I think that this is a notebook someone would, would find, maybe if I leave it behind in a taxi or something, they go, we have, we have a case on our hands that we need to, some, whoever's notebook, this is, needs to be on a list.

• 11:44Brooke Averick?

  Ooh, tell me what's in the notebook.

• 11:46Connor Wood?

  Okay, well, the first thing that happened was this morning I was at a coffee shop and this girl was on her phone.

• 11:53Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 11:54Connor Wood?

  And she goes, "Yeah, and then he asked me to share three fun facts." What was this? Like a team building exercise? So I think my understanding was, okay, there was a couple things. I'm like, team building exercise, I'm assuming it was a date, right?

• 12:07Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I am too.

• 12:08Connor Wood?

  Okay, you're on a date.

• 12:11Connor Wood?

  The young man asks you, "Please share three fun facts about yourself." I can't remember the last time I did this. I do know that it, it, for me, it sends me into fight or flight. Because one, I have a competitive side where it's like.

• 12:21Brooke Averick?

  When someone asks you this, it sends you into fight or flight?

• 12:24Connor Wood?

  When you're going around in a circle and everyone's facts are like, I do, I do feel like this is the narcissist Olympics where it's like, I do want to have like a very cool fun fact, but I also don't want to be like, try hard and you also don't want to do that like name drop-y thing. Like, there was one time in Barbados when I was deep sea fishing with, you know, the Kennedys or something and you just want to, I don't know, like drop these bombs, but then you also want to be like this person that's like, I don't know, what would you do if you were on a date?

• 12:55Brooke Averick?

  I think I'd throw my hands into some soup.

• 12:59Connor Wood?

  Just as a distraction?

• 13:00Brooke Averick?

  Just like as a, yeah, to change, change the subject. I have, I always hated that. I've never had a fun fact.

• 13:07Connor Wood?

  Okay, let's just like, no pressure, do three fun facts.

• 13:09Brooke Averick?

  No, I knew you were gonna do that. I don't have any.

• 13:12Connor Wood?

  Yeah, Brooke, you do. Like, and you know what's funny is I remember, I always remember like grade school or people would be like, I'm double jointed. And then they'd show you the grossest shit in the world with their wrists. And so you shouldn't, your wrist is broken. That's actually something that you need to go to the doctor for.

• 13:26Brooke Averick?

  I used to say I was double jointed because I could like bend my thumb back. But like, everyone can do that.

• 13:33Connor Wood?

  No, I can't.

• 13:36Connor Wood?

  I can't do that.

• 13:37Brooke Averick?

  Well, I barely can either. Like, it's not like I can touch it to my arm. I can just bend it a little, like, as you do with thumbs.

• 13:50Brooke Averick?

  But I really don't have any fun facts.

• 13:55Connor Wood?

  I think if I were to share a fun fact, it would be like, there was one time

• 13:59Connor Wood?

  with like a little, like, there's been several times actually where I think I've been very close to having a breakthrough with an animal.

• 14:07Brooke Averick?

  Hmm.

• 14:08Connor Wood?

  Communication wise, but I don't know if that's like, has enough, I don't know if that holds enough weight to share, because I haven't had it yet. I do think that it will happen, and I'm saying that with my chest.

• 14:19Brooke Averick?

  I think like, I think I might have made up my fun fact that I have, and it's also like, kind of like, name dropy, so I don't really wanna.

• 14:27Connor Wood?

  Like, you lied?

• 14:29Brooke Averick?

  No, I just, it might be true, it might not be true.

• 14:32Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 14:35Connor Wood?

  Can you share it?

• 14:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I guess I can. When I was like, young, I used to be really good friends with M. Night Shyamalan's daughter.

• 14:43Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 14:44Brooke Averick?

  And I think that like, we were like, drawing or something. And I'm pretty sure he used the drawings, like, in one of the, his movies, like, on the kids' walls. But also, he might not have.

• 15:02Connor Wood?

  Might not have happened at all.

• 15:02Brooke Averick?

  I think it might have been in signs, if there's kids in signs.

• 15:07Connor Wood?

  I mean, that's pretty much, that's one of the more fun facts that I've heard.

• 15:10Brooke Averick?

  But I'm saying like, it also could not have been my art.

• 15:15Connor Wood?

  I think that-

• 15:15Brooke Averick?

  It could have just been hers. I don't know where I got that idea that it was mine as well.

• 15:21Connor Wood?

  Well, I think here's what I-

• 15:22Brooke Averick?

  Like, I'm assuming someone must have told me that. Like, I don't think I just made that up, but...

• 15:27Connor Wood?

  I think, even if it's not entirely true-

• 15:30Brooke Averick?

  The sentiment is there.

• 15:32Connor Wood?

  I think that in some way, you might have influenced Shyamalan Jr. And, and the way her world was shaped, and then in, in a way, you were her muse for this movie.

• 15:44Brooke Averick?

  Mmm.

• 15:45Connor Wood?

  It would be impossible, if you ever interacted with this young woman, for your, your soul not to be interpreted into her piece as well. So I, I don't think that's entirely a lie.

• 15:57Brooke Averick?

  Well said.

• 15:57Connor Wood?

  You could say, "I was her muse."

• 15:58Brooke Averick?

  Well said.

• 15:59Connor Wood?

  For Uncut Gems.

• 16:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well then, that is kind of a fun fact.

• 16:05Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 16:06Brooke Averick?

  I don't think I have... I, I think that's a really good, like, journal prompt.

• 16:13Brooke Averick?

  That like-

• 16:13Connor Wood?

  Three fun facts.

• 16:14Brooke Averick?

  You can sit with for a while.

• 16:16Connor Wood?

  I also think, I think it's interesting how the fun facts evolve as you grow up. Like, I think that's a really, really interesting one, right now.

• 16:23Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 16:23Connor Wood?

  Whereas Double Jointed kind of fades into the background these days.

• 16:27Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 16:29Connor Wood?

  Cause-

• 16:29Brooke Averick?

  That's so true.

• 16:30Connor Wood?

  What happened to that community? I, I do want, if anyone's in, in like, a professional office setting right now, and they're like, "Yeah, I can, my thumb can touch the back of my forearm."

• 16:40Brooke Averick?

  Right. Yeah, we've outgrown... Double Jointed is definitely the same energy as Leap Your Birthday.

• 16:47Connor Wood?

  For sure.

• 16:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Something that was like, a big brag in elementary school that might not necessarily still land.

• 16:56Connor Wood?

  That's an interesting one, Brooke, and I did, also like, I weep for the Double Jointed. Because they've lost their, they've lost their thing, you know? What a shame.

• 17:08Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 17:08Connor Wood?

  If you're Double Jointed and you're listening to this, just know that we see you. And I, I hope you're doing okay, cause it must be hard.

• 17:15Brooke Averick?

  Well, if some guy dislocated his shoulder in front of me, like, at a party, like, I'd still be like, "That's pretty sick, man." You know?

• 17:24Connor Wood?

  That's not double jointed. That man is injured.

• 17:27Brooke Averick?

  I don't know. Like, hey, can I ask you a question?

• 17:31Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 17:31Brooke Averick?

  What is double jointed?

• 17:34Connor Wood?

  Brooke, no clue at all.

• 17:36Brooke Averick?

  Like, we can just claim we're double jointed like all we want, but at the end of the day, what is it?

• 17:42Connor Wood?

  I think it's-

• 17:43Brooke Averick?

  Because I've been claiming it because my thumb can just like move in certain ways.

• 17:46Connor Wood?

  I think it's this, like-

• 17:47Brooke Averick?

  That's what I thought.

• 17:49Connor Wood?

  See how mine's kind of jumping?

• 17:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 17:51Connor Wood?

  But I think everyone does that.

• 17:52Brooke Averick?

  Mine's jumping a little bit as well. Double jointed is a common term for joint hypermobility, a condition where ligaments are more elastic, allowing joints like fingers, elbows, or shoulders to move beyond normal range. So dislocating your shoulder would be double jointed.

• 18:06Connor Wood?

  No, no, no, because that's not flexibility. You are broken.

• 18:09Brooke Averick?

  But you have to get to the point where you can dislocate it, which is moving it past its normal range.

• 18:14Connor Wood?

  So you're double jointed until it's dislocated?

• 18:18Brooke Averick?

  You, your double jointed nature has gotten you a dislocation.

• 18:22Connor Wood?

  You, you jointed too close to the double.

• 18:25Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 18:28Connor Wood?

  What sucks about people that have a dislocated shoulder is that they can just like sneeze and it pops out moving forward.

• 18:34Brooke Averick?

  Have you ever dislocated anything?

• 18:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 18:38Brooke Averick?

  It really hurts.

• 18:39Connor Wood?

  Something in my arm. I fell off a fridge.

• 18:42Brooke Averick?

  Oh, what were you doing on top of the fridge?

• 18:44Connor Wood?

  We were moving. I was very young and I had climbed onto like the trailer that we had put the fridge on and it was in the parking lot and I was up on top of the fridge, like punch the monkey. And I was pulling leaves off the tree and one was really tough and I was like, I'm gonna get this one. And I pulled, pulled, pulled. It gave. I flipped off the fridge, snapped my arm.

• 19:05Brooke Averick?

  Eesh.

• 19:06Connor Wood?

  Yeah, one time, my sister was hopping over a fence. She falls, her elbow pops out this way. So like the way your elbow bends, imagine it bending-

• 19:16Brooke Averick?

  Inverse.

• 19:17Connor Wood?

  In inward. And I see it. I scream. She screams. She hits it like this. Pop. Pops it back in. I run her over to my dad. I'm like, her elbow just went this way. And he's like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're in the back of the car. He's driving us home. She just goes like this, kind of like stretches it, stretches it, stretches it. Because it almost felt like we dreamed it. She gets right here, just pops right back out this way. We're all screaming. And then she again goes Twice she relocated it.

• 19:47Brooke Averick?

  She probably had nursemaid's elbow.

• 19:50Connor Wood?

  Sure. What did you say?

• 19:53Brooke Averick?

  Nursemaid's elbow.

• 19:55Connor Wood?

  What does that mean?

• 19:55Brooke Averick?

  I don't, I think it's when you're a kid and you keep dislocating your elbow. Cause that's what I had. Painful elbow injury in children under six caused by sudden sharp pull on an extended arm such as

• 20:06Connor Wood?

  Oh geez.

• 20:07Brooke Averick?

  Blah, blah, blah. The ligament slips out of place causing the child to refuse to move their arm, which is usually held straighter, slightly bent. Be treated by healthcare professional with quick gentle manipulation, usually resulting in immediate pain relief and restored mobility, though it may occasionally reoccur. That's what I had. I think I dislocated it three times.

• 20:24Connor Wood?

  That means that someone was kinda yanking you around, right?

• 20:27Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, once it was pop up, uh, he was so sad. That was a really sad thing to happen.

• 20:31Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 20:32Brooke Averick?

  And then once it happened at a roller skating party. But no one was pulling on it.

• 20:39Connor Wood?

  Well, once, once you're, once you

• 20:42Brooke Averick?

  Cause I think

• 20:43Connor Wood?

  Once you go, yeah, once you go nursemaid, you never go

• 20:45Brooke Averick?

  I think it was the initial back that was a pull.

• 20:50Connor Wood?

  Well, damn, I'm glad you're, I'm glad we have you here today.

• 20:52Brooke Averick?

  Thank you.

• 20:54Connor Wood?

  Do you still have it right now? Are you nursemaid?

• 20:56Brooke Averick?

  No, I, it was like when I was really young, like kindergarten.

• 21:02Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh. Well, that's a key aspect of nursemaid's elbow.

• 21:04Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Your, your ligaments must be

• 21:08Brooke Averick?

  more at risk.

• 21:10Connor Wood?

  Yes, yes.

• 21:12Brooke Averick?

  At that age.

• 21:13Speaker 00

  Chronic migraine is 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  Botox, onabotulinum toxin A prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine before they start. It's not for those with 14 or fewer headache days a month. It prevents on average eight to nine headache days a month versus six to seven for placebo.

• 21:31Speaker 02

  Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness can be signs of a life threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis or Lambert Eaton syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects.

• 22:07Speaker 00

  Why wait? Ask your doctor, visit botoxchronicmigraine.com or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more.

• 22:14Speaker 06

  Parenting unlocks some pretty impressive skills like carrying grocery bags, a soccer ball, and a sleepy kid all at once. Good thing the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica has a few tricks of its own. Hands-free power sliding doors and liftgate, rear seat entertainment, and stow-and-go seating and storage that adapts faster than your family's weekend plans. Visit Chrysler.com to learn more. Chrysler is a registered trademark of FCAUS LLC.

• 22:44Connor Wood?

  Um, I have some exciting news.

• 22:45Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 22:46Connor Wood?

  Daylight Savings is next week.

• 22:48Brooke Averick?

  Ah!

• 22:50Connor Wood?

  We are so bad.

• 22:51Brooke Averick?

  It always sneaks up on you. I feel like it does happen too soon.

• 22:55Connor Wood?

  No, this one is the good one.

• 22:56Brooke Averick?

  No, I know, but like, for, to me, daylight savings signifies like, spring is coming, but like, it's not.

• 23:04Connor Wood?

  I see.

• 23:05Brooke Averick?

  Like, you, it will still be snowing in New York after daylight savings, probably.

• 23:09Connor Wood?

  I know. It's really, really nasty right now. It's like, everything's so wet.

• 23:13Brooke Averick?

  Were you home for the blaze?

• 23:15Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it was really cool. The blaze was cool because it wasn't that cold.

• 23:19Brooke Averick?

  Oh, really?

• 23:21Connor Wood?

  No, also, I'm not drinking sparkling water on the today's episode so that I won't burp because I do feel like I owe everyone at least one episode. What?

• 23:29Brooke Averick?

  You just burped. It was just a natural, of natural causes?

• 23:32Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that did, that kind of is what brought it up. I did want to address that burp. That was from, that was beef, but that was not sparkling water.

• 23:41Brooke Averick?

  I like your sweater a lot.

• 23:43Connor Wood?

  Thanks, Brooke. Look at this. And I do want to, I do want, it's full zip knit. Isn't that kind of fun?

• 23:49Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I love that.

• 23:50Connor Wood?

  Thank you. I gotta get you one.

• 23:51Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, oh.

• 23:52Connor Wood?

  Now, I want to say, it's reminding me, I am so horned up for Love Story, the JFK Junior Story.

• 23:58Brooke Averick?

  Honor, do you think that's not the first note in my Hobonichi?

• 24:02Connor Wood?

  And mine.

• 24:03Brooke Averick?

  I knew you would be. This is the type of glamour and intrigue that you have been yearning for.

• 24:11Connor Wood?

  Praise be.

• 24:12Brooke Averick?

  These are like, these people, this is, this is celebrity.

• 24:16Connor Wood?

  This is, this is, yeah, and this is like, the celebrita that I like where it was like, we're not normal people.

• 24:23Brooke Averick?

  They are not, I look at them and I'm, that, one, we are not the same species. Two, like, I'm embarrassed to have even existed on the same plane as them for even a short time.

• 24:36Brooke Averick?

  They to me, you don't read like Akatar and shit like that, but the species of kind of humans in there are, there's humans and then there's the fey, the fairies, the high fey, which are like an elevated type of human that kind of like, they just have this je ne sais quoi. Like they're just hotter and better in every way. To me, Carolyn and JFK are high fey. Does that make sense?

• 25:01Connor Wood?

  Yeah, and then you have The Fray, great band.

• 25:05Brooke Averick?

  Yes, completely separate.

• 25:08Connor Wood?

  Completely, now that's a whole different, that's a story for a different day. Um, would love to see them in concert. I am so, like, this show is so good.

• 25:17Brooke Averick?

  I am intoxicated by these people.

• 25:19Connor Wood?

  Brooke, you need to come to New York, please, soon. We have, it's taken over the way people are dressing, or maybe I'm just hyper aware.

• 25:27Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I've seen that.

• 25:28Connor Wood?

  I am walking that, Brooke, I put on my pea coat today. It's cold out. Put on my pea coat. I popped the damn collar. And I wore a knit, a knit underneath. I was like, oh, like, I didn't even do this on, it was kind of like subconscious. Where I was like, I'm actually not gonna wear a hoodie under, under this pea coat.

• 25:47Brooke Averick?

  No, they're infiltrating the minds and bodies of everyone. Do you think you'll get one of those like backward caps?

• 25:54Connor Wood?

  No, because I think I'll look like Michael Rapaport. I know my limits.

• 26:01Brooke Averick?

  Uh, I mean, it's just like, I am completely, like, yeah, they are not human to me. It's so weird. And I guess that's exactly what everybody was experiencing at the time that they were alive. Like, they are, they are royalty. And it's like hard, it's really almost impossible not to be swept up in it. Like, my whole explore page is JFK Jr.

• 26:23Connor Wood?

  So, like, obviously, I'm loving the show. I, I understand, like, if this was a time when we were alive, this is the closest we've had to Royals, right?

• 26:30Brooke Averick?

  It is. And I feel it in my bones.

• 26:32Connor Wood?

  And I don't feel that way towards, like, the British Royal. Like, I'm just like,

• 26:38Connor Wood?

  What? Are you guys on? But then I see them and I'm like, I would like to follow their every move. I get it.

• 26:43Brooke Averick?

  It's not, and it's like, it sucks because like you want to be the exact kind of person that Carolyn was and just like not swayed by the Kennedy name, but it's like, there's something, it's intoxicating. I can't explain it. I'm intoxicated.

• 26:59Connor Wood?

  Brooke, I can't either. I mean, I said I was horny.

• 27:01Brooke Averick?

  Like you want to be cool, but I can't like, thank God that I was not like a sentient being.

• 27:09Connor Wood?

  Right.

• 27:10Brooke Averick?

  At the ti- at like the peak of this because I would have been like Club Chalamet. Like I would, I would have been like a person that I don't want to be and have never wanted to be.

• 27:21Connor Wood?

  I mean, could you imagine if they were to be around during like this, this era? But during social media, that would have been a bloodbath.

• 27:31Brooke Averick?

  No, that would have been really bad for everyone involved.

• 27:35Connor Wood?

  Uh, my bloodbath was not the word that I wanted to use there.

• 27:39Brooke Averick?

  It just would have been really bad.

• 27:41Connor Wood?

  It would have been, yeah, it would have been very tough. Um, I do want to say really quickly, like I had to one more time look up like when this was set. Because the actual way it's written is very much like, it's how we talk still. Like, he's like, suck my ass. I'm like, wait. Were they saying suck my ass?

• 27:58Brooke Averick?

  Do you think they were doing like full like times of yore in the nineties?

• 28:03Connor Wood?

  Like, have we come full circle to saying suck my ass?

• 28:06Brooke Averick?

  I don't think, I don't think anyone said suck my ass in this show.

• 28:10Connor Wood?

  I promise you, they said suck my ass because this has stuck with me.

• 28:13Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 28:14Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 28:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, they were speaking like we were alive. We were babies.

• 28:21Connor Wood?

  I don't see my parents ever, ever uttering suck my ass.

• 28:25Brooke Averick?

  Well, that's it. That your parents are southern. This is very, they're, these are New Yorkers.

• 28:30Connor Wood?

  My parents are not New Yorkers for sure. Yeah, that's true.

• 28:32Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 28:33Connor Wood?

  Um, okay. Well, yeah, that was my only notice. I mean, I just think this is just like, this is just like fun, you know, the TV's, TV's getting fun, you guys.

• 28:41Brooke Averick?

  Something also that's interesting is I'm having a really challenging time separating the actors from the real people. Which is not something that is usually a problem for me.

• 28:52Connor Wood?

  What do you mean?

• 28:53Brooke Averick?

  Like, I'll see if, like, when I watch, I'm like, this is, this is JFK Junior and Carolyn Bisset. Like, I'm not watching actors playing these people. I'm watching the two of these, like, documentary style.

• 29:04Connor Wood?

  Do, do you feel refreshed in a way that? And again, this is one of those things that I might be just out of the loop for, but I do really like that. I didn't know these, these actors. I didn't know either of them.

• 29:16Brooke Averick?

  What you've been saying and a lot of people have been saying, and I think this and heated rivalry have really proven it to be true. Like, we need new people.

• 29:26Connor Wood?

  We need new faces.

• 29:27Brooke Averick?

  We need new faces. Yeah, because when it's the same people over and over, you just, you know them and you project their past characters, their personalities onto them. We have these, like, beautiful, clean slates and such talent. There is so much talent out there that is yet to be untapped, as we've seen, and I'm just glad that, that we are utilizing that.

• 29:48Connor Wood?

  I like it and I also, like, I have that thing where I walk into a theater or I sit down to watch a show and I am projecting someone's entire IMDb onto their new character and it pulls me out. And seeing this, new faces, new spaces, wide open places. It's so refreshing. I love it. I'm so excited. This is just like, I really think, I agree. I think heated rivalry in this, it's opening up like a new window for, for new, new characters for us. I'm so excited. I'm giddy about this.

• 30:19Brooke Averick?

  And you know what? Like, the two people that I do know, Grace Gummer and Naomi Watts was Jackie. Like, I, I was having a harder time. Like, I was like, you're not Carolyn Kennedy, Caroline Kennedy, and you're not Jackie. I know who you are.

• 30:35Connor Wood?

  Right.

• 30:36Brooke Averick?

  But whereas these, Sarah Pigeon and Paul, I'm like, you, you are who you're playing.

• 30:45Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 30:47Brooke Averick?

  Paul Anthony Kelly.

• 30:49Connor Wood?

  We're on the same page, Brooklyn.

• 30:50Brooke Averick?

  Paul Anthony Kelly. Here's what I'll say about him.

• 30:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 30:55Brooke Averick?

  Have you seen him out of character?

• 30:58Connor Wood?

  I haven't seen him really genuinely with, I'm saying in full honesty. I have never seen this man in my life besides on the TV. In this show.

• 31:09Brooke Averick?

  In the interviews, it's like, and this was happening to me with Hudson and Connor too. Cause they're just like good actors, but I'm like, whoa, you are not, you're actually not JFK Junior. He's so different. He's so like soft spoken and mild mannered and like, kind of like artsy. Like he has an earring and like glasses and like curly, like curly hair, like he could live in Silver Lake. He could live in Silver Lake.

• 31:34Brooke Averick?

  But yeah, it's crazy. I also think that. This will mean something to only a few people. I think he's the only one qualified to play Reese and in. An Akatar out of.

• 31:45Connor Wood?

  I know I, that translated to me, I didn't understand that.

• 31:48Brooke Averick?

  Cause I've been looking for that person. We've all been looking for that person. There've been a few question marks. We found our, we found our Reese. That's, I'll just say that.

• 31:57Connor Wood?

  Brooke has thrown her hat in the ring.

• 31:58Brooke Averick?

  I will just say that about that.

• 32:03Connor Wood?

  Well, well said.

• 32:04Brooke Averick?

  Thank you. He is high Faye. They are high Faye to me.

• 32:07Connor Wood?

  High Faye.

• 32:08Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 32:09Connor Wood?

  They're not the fray.

• 32:10Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Not to be confused with the fray.

• 32:13Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I'm, I'm really excited. It's so nice to be excited about TV.

• 32:17Brooke Averick?

  It's so awesome. I love when people are all watching the same thing.

• 32:20Connor Wood?

  Me too. It reminds me of a simpler time.

• 32:24Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, like Tiger King.

• 32:25Connor Wood?

  Yes, thank you.

• 32:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 32:27Connor Wood?

  And Outer Banks.

• 32:30Connor Wood?

  I don't know if you're on board with Outer Banks.

• 32:31Brooke Averick?

  No, not my show, not my kind of show.

• 32:34Connor Wood?

  I just think of Outer Banks, like. It was like so. The Goonies vibes for me when I first watched it. It was like. Me and my roommates every single day, sitting on the couch, same time, same place. So nice.

• 32:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 32:48Connor Wood?

  But I was also watching a lot of Love Island UK during that time, which does bring me to a space in my heart that I really miss.

• 32:54Brooke Averick?

  Watch, keep watching it.

• 32:56Connor Wood?

  It's past and I, I just like, people started watching Love Island US and I.

• 33:03Connor Wood?

  I didn't like that. I didn't like when everyone started watching that. It was kind of this like safe space. In the UK that no one else was watching and it was like. Fun and there was no.

• 33:15Connor Wood?

  Thing around it. Nothing against people that watch US. I just, it took me out. It removed me.

• 33:22Brooke Averick?

  Interesting.

• 33:23Connor Wood?

  So were you inundated? We haven't talked in so long that Punch the Monkey has been brought into the world.

• 33:29Brooke Averick?

  I don't know Punch.

• 33:30Connor Wood?

  Oh, you don't?

• 33:31Brooke Averick?

  I saw my first thing about Punch last night, but didn't look into it.

• 33:34Connor Wood?

  So what did you see?

• 33:36Brooke Averick?

  There's just that there's a monkey named Punch.

• 33:39Connor Wood?

  So Punch is this like little baby that's being reincarnated into, or not reincarnate, what is the?

• 33:47Brooke Averick?

  I don't know. I don't know Punch.

• 33:50Connor Wood?

  Izzy, can you help me? I'm sorry.

• 33:52Speaker 07

  What were you looking for?

• 33:53Connor Wood?

  Being... Not reincarnated. That's when you die. Um, okay, I can do this.

• 34:02Speaker 07

  What are the context clues?

• 34:03Connor Wood?

  Reintasted, reintroduced, but not in that way. He's trying to be re-in something to the, the new troupe of monkeys.

• 34:15Connor Wood?

  Because he's been raised by-

• 34:16Brooke Averick?

  Reintegrated?

• 34:17Connor Wood?

  Reintegrated, yes. Kind of. I don't know. Whatever. You know what I'm saying.

• 34:22Brooke Averick?

  I don't. That's the thing.

• 34:23Connor Wood?

  Okay, so he, he, he is-

• 34:25Brooke Averick?

  Oh, yeah, reintegrated. He was an outcast?

• 34:29Connor Wood?

  No, well, he was abandoned by his mom, I'm pretty sure, and so they raised him with a little plushie.

• 34:35Brooke Averick?

  Uh-uh.

• 34:36Connor Wood?

  He's adopted as his mother. Look, what the fuck is their problem, these other monkeys? It's just like, and then I'm like, why are we, take this baby, yeah, like, maybe we just make an exception and have this be a domesticated monkey.

• 34:47Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 34:48Connor Wood?

  That's, that's where I'm at.

• 34:49Brooke Averick?

  I will raise that as my own. Oh my God, I'm gonna throw up. I'm throwing up.

• 34:55Connor Wood?

  It's just like, I don't know.

• 34:58Brooke Averick?

  Oh my God, where is he now?

• 35:00Connor Wood?

  So he's being, he got his first hug this morning.

• 35:04Brooke Averick?

  From who?

• 35:05Connor Wood?

  He's, he's received a hug.

• 35:06Brooke Averick?

  From who?

• 35:08Connor Wood?

  I don't know the name of the hugger, but-

• 35:09Brooke Averick?

  Was it a monkey?

• 35:11Connor Wood?

  It was a monkey. Yes, not a man. Brooke, you need to see when the humans come in, that like Punch runs over and jumps on their leg. Like, he's seeking shelter. He has so much comfort in this plush. As many adults, I think do, but it's, he's, he's figuring it out. I don't know. I, just like, everyone's saying, like, now, these monkeys are sensing that there's so much love being, like, pushed on to Punch, that now they're feeling it and, and now they're clout chasing Punch.

• 35:39Brooke Averick?

  My God.

• 35:39Connor Wood?

  But look at Punch here.

• 35:41Brooke Averick?

  My God.

• 35:44Brooke Averick?

  I can't watch him do push.

• 35:45Connor Wood?

  Those two monkeys, they have a

• 35:46Brooke Averick?

  Those, they need to go to monkey jail.

• 35:49Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna kick their ass, their monkey ass. I would really

• 35:52Brooke Averick?

  Oh, who was that? What's going on?

• 35:55Connor Wood?

  Look at this.

• 35:56Brooke Averick?

  Is he back? He's back in the game. He's so back. Punch is so back.

• 35:59Connor Wood?

  Punch is so back. So that, that picture there

• 36:04Connor Wood?

  brings out like a sort of primal

• 36:08Connor Wood?

  feeling in my stomach that makes me wanna throw up and then, and sob and then just find this baby.

• 36:12Brooke Averick?

  I agree.

• 36:15Brooke Averick?

  Oh my, I would drop my, I'm not kidding. I would drop my, and I just met Punch a few seconds ago. I would drop my entire life for Punch. I would move to where he lives to take him under my wing.

• 36:27Connor Wood?

  China.

• 36:27Brooke Averick?

  Like.

• 36:30Connor Wood?

  All eyes on Punch. Yeah.

• 36:33Brooke Averick?

  Oh. Where does Punch live?

• 36:35Connor Wood?

  China. Japan. Oh, Japan.

• 36:38Brooke Averick?

  I would move to Japan.

• 36:40Connor Wood?

  Why did I think it was China?

• 36:43Brooke Averick?

  He's plushy.

• 36:46Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, it's so sad.

• 36:48Brooke Averick?

  What Austin Scott did in the first place?

• 36:51Connor Wood?

  I just like

• 36:53Connor Wood?

  no, don't watch. There's a video of them fighting. I can't. Please don't pull it up.

• 36:57Brooke Averick?

  Punch around.

• 37:00Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I can't believe you didn't. I can't believe this wasn't on your FY.

• 37:04Brooke Averick?

  It was as of this morning, but like I didn't have time to get into it.

• 37:11Brooke Averick?

  I'm sick.

• 37:13Brooke Averick?

  I'm sick.

• 37:14Connor Wood?

  I mean, I just wanted to kick some monkey ass over the weekend.

• 37:17Brooke Averick?

  He reminds me of my boys.

• 37:18Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 37:19Brooke Averick?

  Reminds me of Rob.

• 37:23Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 37:25Speaker 06

  Parenting unlocks some pretty impressive skills like carrying grocery bags, a soccer ball, and a sleepy kid all at once. Good thing the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica has a few tricks of its own. Hands-free power sliding doors and liftgate, rear seat entertainment, and stow and go seating and storage that adapts faster than your family's weekend plans. Visit Chrysler.com to learn more. Chrysler is a registered trademark of FCAUS LLC.

• 37:54Speaker 00

  Chronic migraine is 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  Botox, onabotulinum toxin A, prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine before they start. It's not for those with 14 or fewer headache days a month. It prevents, on average, eight to nine headache days a month versus six to seven for placebo.

• 38:12Speaker 02

  Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away. As difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue, and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS, Lou Gehrig's Disease, Myasthenia gravis, or Lambert-Eaton Syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects.

• 38:48Speaker 00

  Why wait? Ask your doctor. Visit botoxchronicmigraine.com or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more.

• 38:54Speaker 03

  The best part of waking up? A full cup of Folgers coffee and music on full blast.

• 39:21Speaker 03

  Shop Folgers Instant Coffee and more at your nearest retailer.

• 39:25Connor Wood?

  So sad.

• 39:26Brooke Averick?

  Did you see porch goose?

• 39:28Connor Wood?

  No, I didn't see porch goose. I was gonna look that up. I forgot.

• 39:32Brooke Averick?

  I think porch goose is less viral than punch. But, oh my God, I saw this video last night. This girl, basically, she kept driving by this house a few streets down that had this porch goose. And she also had a porch goose at her house, so she felt very connected.

• 39:50Connor Wood?

  What do you... Is it a goose that's on your porch?

• 39:52Brooke Averick?

  It's kind of just like a goose, like a statue of a goose that lives on the porch. So she began, like, dropping off, like, clothes to dress the porch goose in, because she had clothes for her porch goose as well. And she like had just these tender feelings for the old couple that owned this porch goose, you know, porch goose and porch goose, porch goose sees porch goose. And one day she got some, she saw something, she got something back. Somebody dropped a bag off for her for, for the porch goose.

• 40:24Connor Wood?

  It was a bomb?

• 40:25Brooke Averick?

  No, it was not a bomb. It was an obituary.

• 40:29Connor Wood?

  Oh shit.

• 40:29Brooke Averick?

  From the daughter of the elderly couple. And a note that was like, my dad just passed, but like, please know that like in his last months, like you brought him so much joy and the clothes that you, I'm gonna start crying. The clothes that you dropped off like for porch goose, like he showed like my kids, like his grandchildren, like it was just such a staple in the last few months of his life. It brought everyone together, like you made us so happy, like, and you know, my mom, his wife, like passed like a few years ago and she loved porch goose so much that this really like brought up the best memories of her. Um, and like here, I want you to have this.

• 41:11Brooke Averick?

  And she gave her like her mom, her late mother's like cookbook that was like the mom like loved geese. So it was like mama goose, like her, her cookbook and it was annotated. Yeah. And look, watch, I've reposted.

• 41:26Connor Wood?

  I don't know if I should watch this.

• 41:27Brooke Averick?

  The girl's just like, like she's so emotional about it. And it truly is just like one of the like, this is what humanity like it should be about. Like it's these like little things that like bring us together that are just, oh, this is, this is what, this is the human spirit to me. Just watch the beginning.

• 41:46Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 41:46Speaker 08

  Because there's this like elderly couple like two blocks away from me that have a concrete porch goose. And I've been dropping them off porch goose outfits like anonymously. I feel so silly for crying. But I've been like writing them little notes, like love your friends on Melody Lane. And they found my house by finding my porch goose. Cause I told them I had a porch goose and I've never met these people. And they just dropped me off something and just like drove away and I'm about to open it. I'm literally crying.

• 42:20Speaker 08

  Hey, there's a card. Oh, oh my God.

• 42:25Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 42:27Speaker 08

  Oh my god!

• 42:28Connor Wood?

  Oh my god!

• 42:31Speaker 08

  They died, Joseph!

• 42:33Connor Wood?

  Oh my god!

• 42:36Speaker 08

  I think that was her daughter. What do you mean they died?

• 42:43Connor Wood?

  What do you think she means?

• 42:47Speaker 08

  Dear goose friend, we wanted to let you know that the goose owner passed away earlier this month.

• 42:53Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 42:53Speaker 08

  Dad was so tickled.

• 42:55Brooke Averick?

  This is not def- like...

• 42:57Connor Wood?

  I mean like-

• 42:58Brooke Averick?

  Dad was so tickled.

• 43:00Connor Wood?

  The guy could have put a shirt on before he like-

• 43:02Brooke Averick?

  He didn't know. He didn't know that he was about to go completely virus.

• 43:07Connor Wood?

  Least he could do. That pulled me out of it a little bit. I'm not gonna lie.

• 43:10Brooke Averick?

  He did not know he was about to go mega viral.

• 43:13Connor Wood?

  Sorry, I- I literally almost went, "Huh."

• 43:17Connor Wood?

  No, he's not dead. He's behind you. Okay.

• 43:21Brooke Averick?

  Anyway, that-

• 43:22Connor Wood?

  Well-

• 43:24Connor Wood?

  Well, that is just about the sweetest thing you could ever see.

• 43:27Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. It makes me wanna drop off-

• 43:29Connor Wood?

  Oh my god, lord knows we could need a little, uh, we could use a little positivity, huh?

• 43:33Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 43:35Connor Wood?

  Just, yeah?

• 43:36Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, we could use some positivity.

• 43:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah, you know why I need a little positivity?

• 43:41Brooke Averick?

  Why?

• 43:42Connor Wood?

  Cause twice in the past two days, I've walked into a restroom, gone to wash my hands, lotion.

• 43:51Brooke Averick?

  That's bad.

• 43:52Connor Wood?

  Don't put the lotion next to the sink. Put the soap next to the sink. Lotion's second.

• 43:57Brooke Averick?

  Listen, I'm- I'm on your side.

• 43:59Connor Wood?

  I'm washing this- this lotion off my head. Why won't this come off my head? Lotion!

• 44:04Brooke Averick?

  I'm on your side.

• 44:05Connor Wood?

  I'm sure it's nice too. Now it's down the sink.

• 44:06Brooke Averick?

  I actually don't think it should be in the same place as the soap.

• 44:10Connor Wood?

  I think-

• 44:10Brooke Averick?

  Like, it should be in a different area.

• 44:12Connor Wood?

  Lotion just right outside the door of the bathroom.

• 44:14Brooke Averick?

  Sure.

• 44:14Connor Wood?

  To me.

• 44:15Brooke Averick?

  Or even like on a- on a little table.

• 44:19Connor Wood?

  What are you gonna do these days? There's so much wrong in the world, including people putting lotion next in first.

• 44:25Brooke Averick?

  What are you gonna do?

• 44:27Connor Wood?

  Pardon me. Um, I mean, where do we go from here, Brooke? There's, I have so much on here.

• 44:32Brooke Averick?

  I actually have a lot to say too, believe it or not. But do you, you like went to the Olympics?

• 44:37Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I went to the Olympics. The Olympics were lovely. It was so amazing. Um, thank you to Team USA. We won a ton of medals. That was just the coolest thing you could probably ever do. It'll probably be my one and only time going to the Olympics. So pinch me, that was just like the coolest thing ever, especially it being in Italy. And especially, we knew a handful of the, the athletes, which are so cool, just from Jake, who came with me, he's skied with these people, growing up, grown up with these people. It was just the coolest thing ever, like pinch me, pinch me, pinch me. Um, I thought, obviously, the finals in hockey were pretty funny. Like, did you see the whole, the men's team just go in and?

• 45:17Brooke Averick?

  Funny?

• 45:19Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I thought that it's funny how you could fuck that up so bad.

• 45:22Brooke Averick?

  They're so stupid.

• 45:25Connor Wood?

  It's, it was just like unbelievable. And then, so we've already, I mean, that's been covered a thousand times. It's just like, oh my gosh, are you?

• 45:31Brooke Averick?

  It also just pisses me off like beyond belief because like you had like heated rivalry set you up for the.

• 45:40Connor Wood?

  Brooke, that's what I was gonna say. All eyes?

• 45:42Brooke Averick?

  All eyes on you, like literally like you had the best footsteps to follow in. You were set up for like, to be adored and you fucked it up immediately.

• 45:55Connor Wood?

  Do you have to take, I mean, I, do you have to take a phone call from the president when you're celebrating the Olympic gold medal? Like, what are you, like, just enjoy your team? Like what? And then the film and, and then obviously we pick up like Cash Patel is in there, our head of the CIA, is it CIA or FBI?

• 46:12Brooke Averick?

  FBI.

• 46:13Connor Wood?

  Our head of FBI is in there chucking beers in the locker room. You better have been looking for Nancy Guthrie in all of those lockers before you chugged that beer. Like, what are you doing there? You know what I mean?

• 46:26Brooke Averick?

  I had a dream that, oh my god, I don't know if I should say this, it's like not in good taste.

• 46:33Connor Wood?

  We know your heart, Brooke.

• 46:34Brooke Averick?

  But I had a dream Nancy's disappearance was part of the rehearsal season three and Nathan Fielder was behind it. I don't know if I should say that, but it was just a dream.

• 46:44Connor Wood?

  It was just, it was all a dream, yeah.

• 46:47Brooke Averick?

  Obviously, that's not the case.

• 46:49Connor Wood?

  No.

• 46:50Brooke Averick?

  At all.

• 46:51Connor Wood?

  Not even.

• 46:52Brooke Averick?

  But that was something that I dreamed about.

• 46:54Connor Wood?

  It's so amazing that we haven't found her. It's also so amazing that it's national, national news and our head of the FBI is in Milan.

• 47:02Brooke Averick?

  Stupid, except for Porch Goose.

• 47:05Connor Wood?

  And Punch.

• 47:05Brooke Averick?

  And Punch.

• 47:08Connor Wood?

  Just interesting. It feels like we're kind of on our own. And also JFK.

• 47:15Brooke Averick?

  And, and, yeah.

• 47:17Connor Wood?

  Great show.

• 47:23Connor Wood?

  Hard to follow that up, I'll be honest, because I have to pee now, too. Can we take a quick intermission to pee?

• 47:28Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 47:29Connor Wood?

  If, if, if you're gonna push through, I'm gonna push through, too.

• 47:31Brooke Averick?

  No, mine sucked itself back up, but you should go pee.

• 47:34Connor Wood?

  Oh, you put your pee back in the chamber?

• 47:36Brooke Averick?

  Put your pee back where it came from, or so help me?

• 47:38Connor Wood?

  So help me, so help me.

• 47:39Brooke Averick?

  No, you should go pee.

• 47:41Connor Wood?

  No, I'm okay. I did want to say that when I was on my way. What?

• 47:45Brooke Averick?

  I didn't have to pee.

• 47:47Connor Wood?

  You'd never had to pee?

• 47:48Brooke Averick?

  Uh-uh.

• 47:49Connor Wood?

  What were you going to do?

• 47:50Brooke Averick?

  The other thing.

• 47:52Connor Wood?

  Okay, you had to pee.

• 47:54Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 47:55Connor Wood?

  You had to pee.

• 47:57Connor Wood?

  I do want to say on my way to Milan, I was, I was flying through Paris, because I was in Vancouver, doing a show, and I love Vancouver. Thank you so much Vancouver for coming to the show. So much fun. Just for last Vancouver, it was a blast. Flew through Paris. I get to Paris, okay? This is the most organized I've ever been for any trip in my life, okay? I have snacks in my bag. I have vitamins in my bag. I have lotion. And I get to Paris to board the flight. I needed my passport, so I put it right into my tote bag. My tote bag was an extra carry, like a purse type situation because I checked my bag. So I had the tote bag on my arm and a backpack on my back. I go to my backpack's

• 48:42Connor Wood?

  up above tote bags on the ground in front of me. Obviously, it's like open, you know, it's an open mouth tote as most totes are no zipper. And so I go to get off and I put my tote bag on my seat and I put my backpack on and I'm scurrying off the plane. I realized when I get into the gate right off the plane that I had left my tote bag on the seat, passport and tote. They go, you cannot go back on the plane. I go, well, I totally understand what you're saying. Can you go back on the plane? They go, no, we cannot go back on the plane. And they're French, by the way, French, bless your heart, French, but I, you don't like me and I understand why. But I, they sent me, they said, you have to go talk to my colleague. They sent me to their colleague. Colleague goes, you need to go to customer service. Customer service says, we'll go check to see if it's

• 49:25Connor Wood?

  there. I go, it's not really a check situation. I know it's there. I boarded the plane. My passport's on the plane. I didn't have it when I exited the plane. I don't have my tote, my totes on the plane. My tote's on the plane. So anyways, it took them five and a half hours to locate it.

• 49:38Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 49:39Connor Wood?

  They said, you should just go do something. And I said, should I go to like the city of, should I go see the Eiffel Tower? They go, yeah, you should definitely like you have time. Because they pulled the, they put, when you get off.

• 49:50Brooke Averick?

  Just go back and get like just walk.

• 49:54Connor Wood?

  It was one of those things.

• 49:56Brooke Averick?

  Usually like I've done that before and you just have to wait till everyone's off the plane.

• 50:00Connor Wood?

  They, they told me to get out of here. Like essentially, like I was trying to gather tone of voice, but I don't think there's any tone of voice that's essentially like, oh, baby, like, hang on, baby, we'll get you, baby. Like, we'll take care of you, baby. The French don't have that like nurturing, the French that I spoke to.

• 50:16Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 50:17Connor Wood?

  And it was kind of like, the third time I went to customer service, like, hey, can you just give me like a piece of information that gives me hope and like an ETA something? And they go, no, wait there and we'll, we'll wave you over when it's ready. So it was kind of like one of those, this is out of my hands. I'm helpless type situations. Finally, they located it. The next flight out was nine PM. I had, I had arrived at eight AM Paris. So I just spent the night, my, my next flight was nine. So I spent the night in Milan, but it worked out. But it, to have that on my first night.

• 50:46Brooke Averick?

  You spent the night in Milan?

• 50:47Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 50:49Brooke Averick?

  How did you get to Milan?

• 50:51Connor Wood?

  I, my flight out of Paris was 9pm, so it was just like I missed everything to get to where I needed to go, but flew out at 9pm.

• 50:58Brooke Averick?

  Wow. That's horrible.

• 50:59Connor Wood?

  So I spent the whole day in Paris. It was cool. It was like, obviously very cool to, I never, never spent the night like Paris.

• 51:05Brooke Averick?

  Never spent the night in Milan before.

• 51:07Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it was a pretty cool experience, but um.

• 51:11Brooke Averick?

  Did you leave the airport in Paris?

• 51:13Connor Wood?

  Yeah, no passport.

• 51:15Brooke Averick?

  Where'd you go?

• 51:18Connor Wood?

  Like the city, it's an hour out of, away from the airport.

• 51:20Brooke Averick?

  Oh yeah.

• 51:22Connor Wood?

  Um, but I was just thinking like, to have an inconvenience like that where it's like, this is ruining your day, puts everything into perspective. Do you know what I mean?

• 51:31Brooke Averick?

  I, genuine, it's like the, those types of inconveniences that make you like, happy to be alive, once you can.

• 51:37Connor Wood?

  Nothing else could have happened to me, yeah. That could have been worse than that.

• 51:43Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 51:43Connor Wood?

  So I was like, you know what, this is good. And there were so many, like, it obviously took me two full days to get where I needed to go. And there was like an eight hour car ride and all these things. But I was like, I'm happy, like I'm alive and I have my passport. And it was just so great. For it to happen the first day, I'm like, this is an amazing situation.

• 51:58Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 51:59Connor Wood?

  An amazing time.

• 51:59Brooke Averick?

  It sucks that you can't be grateful, like unless something like that happens. Like I wouldn't be just like so grateful to have my passport.

• 52:07Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 52:07Brooke Averick?

  If I lost my passport.

• 52:09Connor Wood?

  I also, there's this thing about like going on a trip with your friends where like these group trips. Have you been on like a group trip where you've traveled a long way with like a group of people?

• 52:18Brooke Averick?

  Um, I would say I've, yeah, like, well, I'm, you know, I went on that French exchange.

• 52:23Connor Wood?

  Oh yeah.

• 52:24Brooke Averick?

  In high school. And then recently I've done like two to three to four people in Europe.

• 52:28Connor Wood?

  Yes. Oh yeah. There's stuff that happens where it's like, oh, this is probably the worst day of my life. But when you're with people, you want to kill them by like day three.

• 52:38Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 52:39Connor Wood?

  You know? But then you come back and it's like, you look back at that and it's like, that was so odd. Like, it's like a trauma bond situation. Like now it's funny. That day, like one day this is going to be so funny. That day was not.

• 52:49Brooke Averick?

  That day was not today.

• 52:51Connor Wood?

  But then you're in one, you're in that day now. And it's like, oh my gosh, that was funny.

• 52:54Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I totally get you, man.

• 52:57Connor Wood?

  And then you start getting Venmo requests for parts of the trip. And it's like, oh, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to come over to your house and drive my car through your front door.

• 53:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 53:04Connor Wood?

  Oh my God, to receive a Venmo request from someone you thought was your friend?

• 53:08Brooke Averick?

  I get it.

• 53:09Connor Wood?

  You think you know someone and then you get a Venmo request. Wow. Oh my God, eat the rich.

• 53:16Brooke Averick?

  I get it, man. I really do.

• 53:21Connor Wood?

  Have you seen Clavicular?

• 53:23Brooke Averick?

  Clavicular?

• 53:25Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 53:25Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 53:26Connor Wood?

  Okay, have you seen, hmm, what would it mean to you if I said, "completely frame-mogged"?

• 53:33Brooke Averick?

  Frame-mogged?

• 53:34Connor Wood?

  Frame-mogged.

• 53:36Brooke Averick?

  Use it in a sentence?

• 53:39Connor Wood?

  "Clavicular completely frame-mogged by ASU frat leader."

• 53:43Brooke Averick?

  No, use it in a sentence with some other words that I would know.

• 53:46Connor Wood?

  Okay, um, okay, "Slay completely frame-mogged me in that photo that we took together."

• 53:54Brooke Averick?

  Oh, he completely outdid you.

• 53:56Connor Wood?

  Yes, by, by, just by his build.

• 53:59Brooke Averick?

  It's about his build or face?

• 54:01Connor Wood?

  His, the way he's cut.

• 54:03Brooke Averick?

  Oh, it's about his, oh, his frame.

• 54:05Connor Wood?

  It, his frame, but it's also looks-maxing. What do you know about looks-maxing? Walk me through looks-maxing.

• 54:10Brooke Averick?

  Is that the same as Slay, like what Slay would do? Like he just outdoes your looks?

• 54:14Connor Wood?

  It's working toward to like, looks-max your face where you look better and better and better, but you're doing like ridiculous things to get to that point.

• 54:21Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 54:22Connor Wood?

  So.

• 54:23Brooke Averick?

  Slay doesn't have to looks-max.

• 54:25Connor Wood?

  Wait, I got exactly this sentence right.

• 54:28Brooke Averick?

  "Clavicular got frame-mogged by a frat leader."

• 54:33Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 54:34Brooke Averick?

  Is Clavicular a person?

• 54:36Connor Wood?

  He's on the right, right there.

• 54:37Brooke Averick?

  Okay, who is Clavicular?

• 54:39Connor Wood?

  He looks like if Killian Murphy had that like normal SpongeBob situation happen.

• 54:45Brooke Averick?

  Who is Clavicular?

• 54:47Connor Wood?

  He's on the right.

• 54:48Brooke Averick?

  I, no, but who is he?

• 54:50Connor Wood?

  He's a, he's a looks-maxer.

• 54:53Brooke Averick?

  Are you sure Clavicular's not on the left?

• 54:55Connor Wood?

  No, that's ASU frat leader.

• 54:57Brooke Averick?

  Clavicular is looks-maxing livestream. He's trying to achieve the greatest possible level of physical attractiveness. What is he, how far into the process is he and what has he done?

• 55:08Connor Wood?

  He's months, he's now taking a hammer to his jaw and cheekbones to, to make them swell like you would get filler done.

• 55:18Connor Wood?

  So Clavicular is promoting his lifestyle to his young audiences.

• 55:21Brooke Averick?

  He's like alt-right, like.

• 55:24Connor Wood?

  I'm a s- I mean, like, it's hard to not think that, but I don't know.

• 55:30Brooke Averick?

  Okay, so I want to let you know that he has publicly stated that he takes heroin to look slimmer.

• 55:37Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 55:38Brooke Averick?

  And, um.

• 55:39Connor Wood?

  It's meth.

• 55:40Brooke Averick?

  He is supporting Hitler right now.

• 55:44Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 55:45Brooke Averick?

  Right now.

• 55:46Connor Wood?

  Okay, my bad. Maybe he is alt-right.

• 55:48Brooke Averick?

  And he hit someone with a Cybertruck.

• 55:54Brooke Averick?

  Everyone has the right to do what they want with their own bodies, but looks-maxing influencers are promoting toxic masculinity and dangerous values to impressionable youth. This is not okay.

• 56:05Connor Wood?

  I think we can pretty much draw the line on hitting someone with a Cybertruck.

• 56:08Brooke Averick?

  You know what? I almost would have drew the line at, uh, the heroin and the Hitler as well.

• 56:14Connor Wood?

  Yeah, those are not great, like, uh, resume bullet points.

• 56:19Brooke Averick?

  Clavicular got frame-mugged by a frat leader. That, but the frat leader, like, that frame is, like, scaring me. I, but I can't tell if it's the piece that he's wearing that's, like, making the frame look scary.

• 56:31Connor Wood?

  No, I think it's pretty scary.

• 56:33Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 56:33Connor Wood?

  He looks like Larry the Lobster.

• 56:34Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 56:36Connor Wood?

  Um, so I want to know, and now that you know who Clavicular is, like, I can't, I, I understand why he wasn't on your, he didn't come across your desk.

• 56:47Brooke Averick?

  Clavicular, that sounds like part of the ear.

• 56:51Connor Wood?

  Well, the clavicle.

• 56:52Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 56:55Connor Wood?

  And we learned about our ears last week, but I, I think that, um, I, I don't imagine a world where SNL doesn't do a skit about this this week. Because it does seem like something that they would assume they have their finger on the pulse for.

• 57:07Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Clavicular got frame-mugged by a frat leader.

• 57:12Connor Wood?

  Say it again for me a little louder. Say it again for me a little louder.

• 57:16Brooke Averick?

  Clavicular got frame-mugged by a frat leader. Clavicular got frame-mugged by a frat leader. Clavicular got frame-mugged by a frat leader.

• 57:23Brooke Averick?

  Nice.

• 57:23Connor Wood?

  Like, I'm like, what are you maxing right now? I'm, I'm hunch maxing.

• 57:29Connor Wood?

  I'm hunched over like a, I'm hunch, I'm, I'm hunchmogging you.

• 57:33Brooke Averick?

  I've been touching my feet the whole episode. And picking the nail polish off of my toes.

• 57:39Connor Wood?

  You're athlete's foot maxing right now.

• 57:41Brooke Averick?

  No, I don't have athlete's foot. Don't put that in the space. Don't put that in people's heads.

• 57:47Connor Wood?

  Um, I'm, I'm like, I'm like UTI maxing over here because I am holding it.

• 57:51Brooke Averick?

  Go.

• 57:52Connor Wood?

  No.

• 57:55Connor Wood?

  I'm sphincter maxing.

• 57:57Brooke Averick?

  Go pee and I can tell everyone about my tour because I haven't spoken about it.

• 58:01Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, wait, but I want to hear this too, but, okay, wait. Hang on. Okay. Okay, tell them about the tour and then like, give me a summary when I come back. Sorry.

• 58:09Brooke Averick?

  No problem. It's not really anything. It's just that I'm going on tour with, let me get my phone. Haven't touched my phone this whole episode. Um, I'm going on tour with Phoebe, starting on May 26th in New York. Um, oh, thank you, Izzy. Izzy's pulling it up. Yeah, come join me. Um, there are still some cities with some tickets available. We're starting off in New York. Let me tell you exactly where I'm going because I'm already, it's, I will be sleepy, but it will be an amazing kind of sleepy. Starting off in New York on the 26th, that's pub day. It's Phoebe's birthday. Then going to Philly. That's where I'm from. So that's exciting. Both of those. And Boston, Boston's the next day. Those three are sold out.

• 58:52Brooke Averick?

  But those are like sold out for good. Then we're going to Los Angeles, Barnes and Noble, The Grove. So coming back west. Then go, go into Chicago. These are sold out, I think, but with the opportunity to move to a larger venue. So keep an eye on that one. Um, there's two in Chicago. There's a luncheon thing, which is the one that it, I think they're looking to move to a larger venue. And then I think there's a one at night with tickets that are still available. Okay. Then we're going to Charlotte.

• 59:27Brooke Averick?

  I think there are tickets available for that one, or it might be sold out. Then going to Louisville. I have not been to Charlotte or Louisville, so I'm excited for that. I definitely think there are still tickets in Louisville. Then going to Dallas. Never been to Texas, so that's exciting. I think there are tickets there. Then Austin, which I'm really excited about because Connor, you know, I've never been to Texas.

• 59:51Connor Wood?

  What's the date for Austin?

• 59:52Brooke Averick?

  The date for Austin is June 5th.

• 59:55Connor Wood?

  That is my sister's birthday.

• 59:57Brooke Averick?

  Happy birthday.

• 59:59Connor Wood?

  Can I come to that?

• 1:00:00Brooke Averick?

  I would love if you came to that. Are you freaking kidding me?

• 1:00:02Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:04Brooke Averick?

  And that one is sold out, but I think they are looking to move to a larger venue. So keep your eyes peeled.

• 1:00:10Connor Wood?

  June 5th?

• 1:00:11Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Heading to St. Louis. I've never been there either. I'm not sure about that one. Then we are going to, back to Los Angeles. I'll be at Diesel Bookstore, which I've actually never been to that location, which is exciting. And that one is not sold out, but the moderator for that one, which we'll announce the moderators in a few weeks, I think you will love. So I would get tickets for that one if you want before the moderator is announced.

• 1:00:39Brooke Averick?

  Then heading to Seattle. I've never been there, which I'm really excited to go there. I think there might be tickets available for that one.

• 1:00:45Connor Wood?

  Oh, you're gonna have so much fun in Seattle. This is gonna be so amazing.

• 1:00:48Brooke Averick?

  I only have one night in all these places, though.

• 1:00:52Connor Wood?

  That is kind of hard. That's kind of, that's my experience too. But you get the whole day. And because you get the whole day, like if you're in a place like Seattle, you hit all the touristy spots and it's fun. You know, you get to like be a tourist all day.

• 1:01:06Brooke Averick?

  But I feel like I'm, I'll get there that, like during the day. Like that's when I'll arrive.

• 1:01:11Connor Wood?

  I usually, I try as many, as much as I can, I try to get places the day before.

• 1:01:16Brooke Averick?

  But I have something, I have the show, like I have the tour stop the nights before, you know?

• 1:01:21Connor Wood?

  Oh, wow. You're busy, busy.

• 1:01:23Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, so I don't, I don't know what to do, man.

• 1:01:29Brooke Averick?

  Then going to Portland. Never been there. So that's exciting.

• 1:01:34Connor Wood?

  We're in Seattle. That'll be a quick trip.

• 1:01:36Brooke Averick?

  And I do think that one's sold out, but maybe we're going to a larger venue for that one. Can't, can't be too sure. Then San Francisco, I've also never been there.

• 1:01:45Connor Wood?

  Have you been anywhere?

• 1:01:46Brooke Averick?

  Although I've been getting yelled at because apparently the location is not actually in San Francisco. So go ahead and make sure you look at the location before booking tickets. Cause some people have been upset that at me, that they didn't look at the location. So just go ahead and look at that for me. And then back to LA and we will be doing a little birthday party. Um, on my birthday, June 18th at the Ripped Bodice.

• 1:02:10Connor Wood?

  So that'll be there too.

• 1:02:11Brooke Averick?

  Great.

• 1:02:13Brooke Averick?

  Yay. And that's it. And I'm very excited and I hope to see some, if not all of you there. Appreciate you.

• 1:02:23Brooke Averick?

  Thanks a million.

• 1:02:25Connor Wood?

  You're completely frame mugging me right now. Um, I also want to say, what?

• 1:02:30Brooke Averick?

  With my frame?

• 1:02:31Connor Wood?

  With your newly frame.

• 1:02:34Connor Wood?

  I also want to say, we are going on a little mini tour that we already talked about. And it will be announced.

• 1:02:41Brooke Averick?

  Did we talk about it?

• 1:02:42Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I think we'll have posted it live by now.

• 1:02:46Brooke Averick?

  Oh, amazing.

• 1:02:48Connor Wood?

  So, uh, three little stops in California. We're so excited. It's gonna be so much fun. It's already live, so people sleuths have already found it. Um, we're so excited. It's gonna be so much fun.

• 1:02:58Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I can't wait. I've never been to Sacramento before.

• 1:03:01Connor Wood?

  Look at that little graphic.

• 1:03:02Brooke Averick?

  I've never been to Sacramento. I can't wait.

• 1:03:05Connor Wood?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 1:03:05Brooke Averick?

  To go on April 11th.

• 1:03:07Connor Wood?

  Fun. San Diego. Wow.

• 1:03:09Brooke Averick?

  And San Diego and Irvine.

• 1:03:10Connor Wood?

  We might have to spend a little time.

• 1:03:11Brooke Averick?

  Irvine is the one that we did their show at before, right?

• 1:03:13Connor Wood?

  Yes. And we're gonna reinvigorate it this time. We're gonna have so much fun. Um, well, sweet. I think, uh,

• 1:03:20Brooke Averick?

  I'm excited to get really comfortable on that stage this time around.

• 1:03:23Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Frame mugging looks maxing.

• 1:03:26Brooke Averick?

  Last time I was stand up, so I'm looking forward to standing up this time.

• 1:03:29Connor Wood?

  You were sit maxing.

• 1:03:30Brooke Averick?

  I was sit maxing. No, but I think I have, I dropped my hobonichi while you were gone.

• 1:03:36Brooke Averick?

  But I think I have something else in there. Oh, yeah.

• 1:03:38Connor Wood?

  I have, I have a big one if you don't.

• 1:03:40Brooke Averick?

  One quick thing. My dad was visiting this weekend and I did something that I don't know if you will see, but you might. I did something with our close personal friend Dylan. Friend of the family. And I was like, I was very nervous for my dad to be there because I, you know, I don't know what parents are ever gonna say, you know, like I did, I did think my dad was gonna say something about like.

• 1:04:07Connor Wood?

  Like what? What could your dad's?

• 1:04:09Brooke Averick?

  I thought that he was gonna be like, where's, where's Zach?

• 1:04:12Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 1:04:13Brooke Averick?

  And why, why haven't you called Zach? And I, so I told my dad on the way, like, you may not bring up Zach.

• 1:04:18Connor Wood?

  What if, what if he just called Zach?

• 1:04:20Brooke Averick?

  My dad?

• 1:04:22Connor Wood?

  Like, I could see him saying that.

• 1:04:24Brooke Averick?

  No, I know. Like, parents don't understand, like, sometimes if I'll be like, oh, like, I really, I have a crush on Andrew Garfield or something, parents will be like, just email him. Okay, thank you.

• 1:04:35Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:35Brooke Averick?

  So I was worried my dad was gonna be like, call Zach. So, you know, on the way there, I said, no, you know, we're not doing any Zach. Just, you know, hi, introduce yourself and, you know, that's it. Um, cause I do, my dad is a big fan of Dylan, like, really, really.

• 1:04:49Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:04:49Brooke Averick?

  Really cares for the guy. Um, so the other day, he sent me a photo and he was like, here's this photo I took of you and Dylan.

• 1:04:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:59Brooke Averick?

  It's just Dylan and like my foot is in it. Like, he had completely zoomed in on Dill only.

• 1:05:05Connor Wood?

  It's majority Dylan, yeah.

• 1:05:07Brooke Averick?

  And was like, here's this photo of you and Dylan. Dad, you went ahead and you just got Dylan, which is fine and I totally get it. Like, I wouldn't have wanted to be frame mugged anyway, but it just kind of cracked me up. Cracked my fat up.

• 1:05:20Connor Wood?

  That's really, I mean, what an experience. Your dad's probably gonna tell people about that for a long time.

• 1:05:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Maybe.

• 1:05:28Connor Wood?

  Um, well, I'm looking forward to maybe seeing it or maybe not.

• 1:05:32Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:33Connor Wood?

  Based on what I'm hearing, but, um.

• 1:05:35Brooke Averick?

  Can't stop touching my feet.

• 1:05:37Connor Wood?

  I have one more thing I want to talk about really quickly, just, I should have slipped it into the TV. I should have probably slipped it into something a little more comfortable, but.

• 1:05:43Brooke Averick?

  Sure.

• 1:05:44Connor Wood?

  I, it is like relevant to TV film right now.

• 1:05:47Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:48Connor Wood?

  I saw Wuthering Heights.

• 1:05:50Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 1:05:51Connor Wood?

  Um, I want to talk about that in bonus. I did really enjoy it. I think it's special. I do want to shift gears. I have a longer. Whoa, what is going on?

• 1:06:02Connor Wood?

  I have a longer, um, pretty, pretty like intellectual

• 1:06:07Brooke Averick?

  Ooh.

• 1:06:07Connor Wood?

  conversation to have about it, which everyone I've talked to has been really impressed with my,

• 1:06:15Connor Wood?

  with my ability to look into things and connect things, which I'm pretty stoked on because I didn't look anything up about it. Like I didn't know anything about it, but like I can draw, this is why I was so good at my, um, essays. Because I'm really good at symbolism randomly.

• 1:06:28Brooke Averick?

  Okay. I'm excited to hear what you have to say.

• 1:06:30Connor Wood?

  I love symbols, but, um, king, king, king, that was kind, but I also, uh,

• 1:06:38Connor Wood?

  love it.

• 1:06:40Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:06:40Connor Wood?

  Oh, Jacob Elordi.

• 1:06:42Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 1:06:42Connor Wood?

  He's been cast as the new James Bond.

• 1:06:43Brooke Averick?

  Saw that.

• 1:06:44Connor Wood?

  I do not like it. I do not understand how someone of his stature can slip quietly through a crowd. If he was slipping through some sort of gala or ball, you'd be like, there's that tall guy with the gun. You know, I don't, I don't see him being able to be sly and slipping around the corner and even doing a backhand spring.

• 1:07:02Brooke Averick?

  You know, when like spies have to, or not even spies, like if you're breaking into something, there's all those laser pointers going in different directions and you have to like sneak through them as to not activate the laser pointers.

• 1:07:13Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:14Brooke Averick?

  I want to do that.

• 1:07:15Connor Wood?

  Okay. Jacob's wingspan alone.

• 1:07:17Brooke Averick?

  Jacob can't do that.

• 1:07:19Connor Wood?

  No, Jacob can't slip through lasers.

• 1:07:22Brooke Averick?

  Although he, what can't he do?

• 1:07:25Connor Wood?

  It's really, he will be able to do it.

• 1:07:26Brooke Averick?

  I think so, but we'll discuss your take in the bonus.

• 1:07:30Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:31Brooke Averick?

  See you then.

• 1:07:32Connor Wood?

  He might be a great James Bond if things are too high for other people to grab. Like that could be his whole thing is I'm tall James Bond.

• 1:07:37Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 1:07:39Connor Wood?

  I'm tall, I'm tall maxing. I'm height maxing. Anyways, I'm just saying, I don't know if they can like, whatever they did for Tom Cruise, I guess he wasn't James Bond, was he?

• 1:07:48Brooke Averick?

  He was Mission Impossible.

• 1:07:50Connor Wood?

  Mission Impossible. Well, whatever they do for Tom Cruise, where you don't even realize that he's five, five, they're going to have to do the opposite for Jacob Elordi. Like they're going to have to film from him from above, from like.

• 1:07:59Brooke Averick?

  Interesting.

• 1:08:02Connor Wood?

  Okay, well, that's all I got.

• 1:08:03Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:08:04Connor Wood?

  Rest in peace, Eric Day. And also, we missed that. That's such a shame. I hate ALS.

• 1:08:09Brooke Averick?

  Fuck ALS. Like, I... Don't even get me started.

• 1:08:14Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 1:08:15Brooke Averick?

  Izzy, can we put a link in the bio to donate to ALS? I have one to send you.

• 1:08:24Brooke Averick?

  Anyway, donate to ALS. Not to it, but to research. Appreciate it. Thank you.

• 1:08:30Connor Wood?

  ALS research.

• 1:08:31Brooke Averick?

  Okay. Bye.

• 1:08:33Connor Wood?

  Okay. Bye. I'll see you in the bonus. Thank you, guys, for listening. We'll see you in the bonus. Later.

• 1:08:48Speaker 09

  Now streaming on Paramount Plus. I'm Dexter Morgan. I've been killing killers for half my life. It gets to you. You're having a midlife crisis. I'm not ready for that. He's back. I'm older. I'm wiser. And sharper than ever. Things are gonna get messy. But if I can't believe in myself, I can't believe in anything. Dexter Resurrection. New season now streaming on the Paramount Plus Premium Plan.

• 1:09:19Speaker 10

  What's the secret to being a great host this season? Keeping things deliciously simple, like mixing Simply Cranberry into a festive drink as guests arrive, or serving up a warm mug of Simply Apple on a chilling night. That means less time behind the scenes and more time in the moment with everyone. Crafted with real fruit, Simply juices and fruit drinks make any holiday drink effortless, inviting, and completely delicious. Simply. Say yes to simple.

• 1:09:49Speaker 11

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