Our Journey Eastward

Pre-order Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It: https://sites.prh.com/phoebe-bermans-gonna-lose-it SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr This week, Brooke and Connor talk about their recent journey to become Chinese, Brooke’s obsession with Traitors, and Connor’s addiction to reels. Plus, Connor shares a very vulnerable story around 50 minutes. Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/ Use code BNC for 15% off at https://barebells.com Watch Star Trek. Starfleet Academy, new series, streaming January 15th, on Paramount Plus. Shop Brooke’s favorite bras and underwear at http://www.skims.com/bnc #skimspartner It’s Dry January… but you don’t need a reason to enjoy a Heineken 0.0. Zero Alcohol, Great Taste, Now You Can. Must be 21+. #Heineken00 #DryJanuary #AlcoholFree Must be 21+ Download the app or order now at https://Shipt.com Join the loyalty program for renters at https://joinbilt.com/BNC B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 00:00 A Dynamic Duo 05:30 Becoming Chinese 10:35 Connor’s Big Truck 14:46 Transformations 16:57 Loving Traitors 19:23 Barebells 20:47 Star Trek: Starfleet Academy 21:30 Skims 22:46 A Traitors Romance 28:34 We Love Rob 32:13 The Beckham Drama 36:33 Connor Being Humble 39:53 Heineken 0.0 41:36 Shipt 42:45 Bilt 43:55 Air Travel 50:14 Apocalypse Scenarios 51:36 Connor’s Unbelievibly Gross Story 59:05 Sexy Dogs 1:04:50 White Lotus 1:06:51 Bald Men & Headaches 1:10:52 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:31Speaker 01

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• 1:07Brooke Averick?

  Hello, good morning, my other half.

• 1:08Connor Wood?

  Hey, Bear.

• 1:10Brooke Averick?

  Bear. Hey, Belle.

• 1:12Connor Wood?

  B and B make a C. I didn't realize you were gonna wear that today.

• 1:17Brooke Averick?

  I wish you had told me that you were gonna wear your Bear Belle sweatsuit.

• 1:21Connor Wood?

  Well, I could have worn maybe the top and you could have worn the bottoms. But we both decided to do the whole thing.

• 1:27Brooke Averick?

  Let's just both full send and call it what it is.

• 1:31Connor Wood?

  I love it.

• 1:31Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Oh my God, we're finishing each other's sentences.

• 1:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah, we're such a...

• 1:37Brooke Averick?

  We're such a duo.

• 1:38Connor Wood?

  A duo.

• 1:39Brooke Averick?

  You could say.

• 1:39Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I was gonna say twosome.

• 1:41Brooke Averick?

  Ooh, I like that.

• 1:42Connor Wood?

  I like duo better. They shortened twosome into just duo. Which is nice.

• 1:47Brooke Averick?

  Speaking of, Bear Belle's new flavor, tell me a little bit about it.

• 1:51Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 1:53Connor Wood?

  This old thing?

• 1:54Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:54Connor Wood?

  So they just came out with a peanut butter and jelly flavor. And I'm so curious.

• 2:00Brooke Averick?

  I am too. And you're a big peanut butter and jelly guy in general.

• 2:04Connor Wood?

  Yeah, well, for the longest, for my whole life up until, I guess, college, when it got to the point where it was just like, it's time to...

• 2:15Brooke Averick?

  To move on?

• 2:16Connor Wood?

  Well, you're, you know, you're, you have full-time, you have actually like a half-time job. What's it called?

• 2:21Brooke Averick?

  Part-time?

• 2:21Connor Wood?

  Yeah, whoa. Oh, my God, words are gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, making new words. And you're gonna be like, no, that one exists today. I can feel that happening. I was out with coworkers and they're like, we're gonna get... What could it have been? It was some sort of fish, perhaps Branzino? And I think it was a seafood restaurant. And so like, I really, my tubes were tied. I had to have some version of fish and I was not a fish guy.

• 2:49Brooke Averick?

  Where are you going with this?

• 2:51Connor Wood?

  At some point, I had to push myself outside of my boundaries, but it's nice to be back.

• 2:54Brooke Averick?

  I thought you were gonna pivot into Branzino flavored protein bar.

• 2:58Connor Wood?

  No, I'm gonna pivot away from Branzino completely. If you don't mind, unless you wanna talk about Branzino long.

• 3:03Brooke Averick?

  No, no, no, no, that's totally fine.

• 3:05Connor Wood?

  I, I like this. This is good for me. This takes me back to my roots. It takes me back to one of my favorite duos, peanut butter and jelly. There's not many duos that are better.

• 3:14Brooke Averick?

  Than PB and J?

• 3:15Connor Wood?

  It's another doo- doo.

• 3:16Brooke Averick?

  Hi, Dewey.

• 3:17Connor Wood?

  Ciao, Dewey. I wake up.

• 3:22Brooke Averick?

  Uh, honestly, I don't know if I can think of one right now.

• 3:25Connor Wood?

  Okay, wait, I can think of one.

• 3:26Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 3:26Connor Wood?

  I can think of a bad one.

• 3:28Brooke Averick?

  Who?

• 3:28Connor Wood?

  Orange juice and toothpaste.

• 3:31Brooke Averick?

  That is a bad one.

• 3:32Connor Wood?

  So what's the opposite of that?

• 3:33Brooke Averick?

  A good...

• 3:33Connor Wood?

  A good one.

• 3:34Brooke Averick?

  Like Sonny and Cher?

• 3:36Connor Wood?

  Who's that?

• 3:38Brooke Averick?

  Connor.

• 3:39Connor Wood?

  I don't know who that is.

• 3:40Brooke Averick?

  Like, the, the music duo. Sonny and Cher.

• 3:45Connor Wood?

  I know Cher.

• 3:46Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, she's one part of the duo.

• 3:48Connor Wood?

  Well, it's giving Cher.

• 3:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 3:50Connor Wood?

  What is, who's Sonny?

• 3:51Brooke Averick?

  I've got you, babe. Sonny and Cher.

• 3:53Connor Wood?

  Uh, uh-oh.

• 3:54Brooke Averick?

  Okay, never mind. That's the only duo I could think of right now.

• 3:58Connor Wood?

  Well, I'm thinking of food duos, a food duo.

• 4:01Brooke Averick?

  Okay, well, I was thinking of Sonny and Cher.

• 4:03Connor Wood?

  Or we're gonna eat 'em?

• 4:04Brooke Averick?

  Let's just do it.

• 4:05Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 4:06Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 4:07Connor Wood?

  Let's try this.

• 4:07Brooke Averick?

  I like, I'm gonna, right off the bat, I like the crunchies on top, on top.

• 4:11Connor Wood?

  I like the way you opened. You're so clean, like a banana. Mine is gonna come off in several pieces.

• 4:18Connor Wood?

  Which is why, a huge point of contention.

• 4:20Brooke Averick?

  I think, should we make a conscious decision to like, eat into the mic or out of it?

• 4:25Connor Wood?

  We've gotten several strongly worded letters to stop eating into the mic, so I'm gonna follow-

• 4:30Brooke Averick?

  But this is a food-based segment, so it's like-

• 4:32Connor Wood?

  Okay, well, my people, I'm gonna suggest you just take your headphones out, maybe for the next 10-

• 4:38Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 4:39Connor Wood?

  And then-

• 4:39Brooke Averick?

  Seconds or minutes?

• 4:42Connor Wood?

  The next 10 seconds, I'm gonna chew for 10 seconds.

• 4:44Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 4:45Connor Wood?

  And then I'm gonna swallow whatever's left after I'm done chewing for 10 seconds, swallowing it whole.

• 4:49Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 4:50Connor Wood?

  So it doesn't matter.

• 4:51Brooke Averick?

  Okay, ready?

• 4:51Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Ready?

• 4:53Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 4:58Connor Wood?

  Oh my god, wait.

• 5:01Connor Wood?

  There's it. Look at it.

• 5:04Brooke Averick?

  For whatever reason, I wasn't expecting the jelly to be like, actual jelly. I was expecting like, a jelly flavor.

• 5:13Brooke Averick?

  But there's jelly in there.

• 5:14Connor Wood?

  There's jelly in this-

• 5:14Brooke Averick?

  This is like a PB and J.

• 5:17Connor Wood?

  Wow. You know what?

• 5:19Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 5:20Connor Wood?

  When I really thought I was stepping out of my comfort zone, I started toasting my PB and Js. This is what that, this is what that's like.

• 5:27Brooke Averick?

  This is like a PB and J on the go. I guess you could take a regular PB and J on the go as well, but this one's even pocket-sized PB and J.

• 5:34Connor Wood?

  Right, bottom of my backpack PB and J.

• 5:36Brooke Averick?

  Mmm, well said.

• 5:37Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 5:38Brooke Averick?

  Okay, I love it.

• 5:39Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that was a nice, nice, nice treat.

• 5:42Brooke Averick?

  What a great duo.

• 5:44Connor Wood?

  Truly. Wow. I'll be finishing that shortly, once I can chew into the mic again, maybe after this segment.

• 5:54Connor Wood?

  What a treat.

• 5:55Brooke Averick?

  What a, what a treat.

• 5:56Connor Wood?

  I really wasn't expecting that jelly, y'all.

• 5:58Brooke Averick?

  I know, and why weren't we?

• 6:00Connor Wood?

  Sometimes jelly's where you least expect it, like, right there, but I guess it said, peanut butter and jelly. I just wasn't expecting physical jelly.

• 6:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I wasn't either, and it was a nice surprise.

• 6:07Connor Wood?

  Yeah, well cheers.

• 6:12Brooke Averick?

  Cheers.

• 6:30Brooke Averick?

  Hi Connor.

• 6:30Connor Wood?

  Hey, you.

• 6:32Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I need to start off by letting you know that I made a mistake this morning.

• 6:37Connor Wood?

  You can't be doing that.

• 6:38Brooke Averick?

  I know, but I'm only human. I've been getting a lot of these TikToks recently from a lot of like white women that are like.

• 6:47Connor Wood?

  In a very Chinese time in their life?

• 6:50Brooke Averick?

  How did you know I was gonna say that?

• 6:52Connor Wood?

  Because I've been getting those for weeks.

• 6:53Brooke Averick?

  Oh, they're just like, so I turned Chinese last week and like, obviously at first I'm looking at this and I'm like, this is going to be pretty offensive. But as you watch, it's like, no, they're not being offensive. They are adopting Chinese health customs into their lifestyle routine and diet. And so there's this whole trend of like, being Chinese now, but it's not racially motivated, it's lifestyle motivated and diet motivated. And so one of the big things, and I'm hopping on the bandwagon because I love doing that. One of the big things is drinking hot water first thing in the morning and waiting to have your coffee.

• 7:34Brooke Averick?

  So apparently coffee first thing in the morning for a lot of people is not good for you because it spikes something, okay?

• 7:41Brooke Averick?

  Cortisol, I think it spikes your cortisol, so you like should wait a little bit before your coffee. Whereas I usually have it first thing. So for the past few days, I've been doing hot water and/or uncaffeinated tea in the morning and then waiting to have my coffee. Okay, because that hot water is really supposed to just jumpstart your metabolism, etc. Okay? So I've been doing that and then yesterday I had my tea. And then I was like, what if I just didn't have coffee? Because that could be something to try and I was fine. So I was like, maybe I don't need coffee at all. So if I did that this morning as well. It turns out I did need it pretty significantly.

• 8:25Brooke Averick?

  So what you saw a few minutes ago was me going to get coffee. Because I need it really, really badly.

• 8:33Connor Wood?

  Well.

• 8:35Brooke Averick?

  And I did not have it this morning, so I'm sipping it now. So it might take like 10 to 20 for me to arrive.

• 8:43Connor Wood?

  That's okay. That's something that I can live with completely.

• 8:46Brooke Averick?

  But I had my hot water.

• 8:47Connor Wood?

  You can still be in a Chinese time in your life.

• 8:52Brooke Averick?

  Absolutely. Oh, and I waited more than an hour before I had my coffee. That's the Chinese way. That's fine. I tried something new and different that was a mistake.

• 9:02Connor Wood?

  Oh, my God.

• 9:02Brooke Averick?

  And I'm rectifying the mistake right now. What?

• 9:04Connor Wood?

  I was like, why can I feel wind on my navel?

• 9:08Brooke Averick?

  Your buttons out?

• 9:10Connor Wood?

  My belly button, like these shirts don't, they, why would it choose to open in that way?

• 9:14Brooke Averick?

  Are those buttons lined up correctly?

• 9:17Connor Wood?

  Ooh.

• 9:20Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, yeah. I like that sweater. It's like a structured cardigan.

• 9:27Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 9:28Brooke Averick?

  A lot of structure.

• 9:29Connor Wood?

  I wasn't fishing for compliments when I did that. But I also wasn't fishing for insults. I appreciate that.

• 9:37Connor Wood?

  Well, congrats on your journey.

• 9:38Brooke Averick?

  Thank you. And I have been feeling.

• 9:40Connor Wood?

  Your journey eastward.

• 9:41Brooke Averick?

  I've been feeling really great with my hot water slash tea first thing when I wake up.

• 9:47Connor Wood?

  Good.

• 9:48Brooke Averick?

  Thanks.

• 9:49Connor Wood?

  I've been doing the jumps.

• 9:52Brooke Averick?

  Tell me about the jumps. I have not gotten past the hot water. You're also.

• 9:55Connor Wood?

  I'm also becoming Chinese.

• 9:57Brooke Averick?

  But I have not gotten past the hot water yet. So tell me about your jumps.

• 10:00Connor Wood?

  I'll tell, I'll show, why don't I show you the jumps?

• 10:01Brooke Averick?

  Absolutely.

• 10:02Connor Wood?

  Okay, so this is, this is something that the Chinese also do.

• 10:08Connor Wood?

  I haven't seen any Chinese doing it. I've only seen white people doing it, actually, now that I'm thinking about it, but they say that. They say that the Chinese are doing it.

• 10:16Brooke Averick?

  Well, show me.

• 10:18Connor Wood?

  Okay. I did it this morning.

• 10:24Connor Wood?

  I'll do it back here if you can see.

• 10:27Connor Wood?

  I've never done it in front of anybody.

• 10:30Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 10:30Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 10:36Brooke Averick?

  You're just like loose getting your body warmed up?

• 10:38Connor Wood?

  It helps.

• 10:39Brooke Averick?

  Yes. It helps the lymph nodes. Absolutely, I can tell.

• 10:46Connor Wood?

  I think I combined several of the techniques into one.

• 10:49Brooke Averick?

  That's fine to do.

• 10:50Connor Wood?

  But that's, that's my way. One is simply you can just jump. You can do this.

• 10:57Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 10:58Connor Wood?

  There's something with the arms that I really think I wasn't doing.

• 11:01Brooke Averick?

  It loo- hey, listen, it looked good. It looked great.

• 11:03Connor Wood?

  No, you know what? Yes! Oh my god, it's this.

• 11:08Brooke Averick?

  That's a dance. That's like, isn't that Urkel or something?

• 11:11Connor Wood?

  No, that's this.

• 11:16Brooke Averick?

  Oh wait, no, it's Carlton.

• 11:19Connor Wood?

  Yeah. You know what? We said, "We're becoming Chinese." We didn't say, "We are Chinese." So it is a journey.

• 11:25Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Thank you for sharing.

• 11:28Connor Wood?

  So, as I work on...

• 11:31Connor Wood?

  What's the altitude here? Okay, I'm gonna move back over to my seat.

• 11:35Brooke Averick?

  Okay, move over to your seat because I have to show you something else that's in my purse.

• 11:40Brooke Averick?

  Because on the spirit of hot beverages, guess what this is?

• 11:43Connor Wood?

  Can someone just, can you guys raise your hand if my belly button starts to come out? I'm like not willing or able to have a full 60 minutes of my belly button looking at the camera the same way I am.

• 11:53Brooke Averick?

  Look at me. Look, guess what this is? That I'm gonna have after this episode.

• 11:59Connor Wood?

  What is that? I don't know.

• 12:00Brooke Averick?

  Miso soup?

• 12:01Connor Wood?

  Is it packets, like ramen?

• 12:03Brooke Averick?

  It's literally, this is the miso paste. This is dried tofu. This is seaweed. And this is green onion. And they're all in these little packets. And you pour hot water over it and you have miso soup. And I've been doing it, drinking it in a mug.

• 12:17Connor Wood?

  Wow. Um, I would say so, I'm, I'm here this week.

• 12:21Brooke Averick?

  I'm not. But thank you for letting... What do you mean? Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

• 12:27Connor Wood?

  What do you mean?

• 12:28Brooke Averick?

  I meant the week broader. I leave tomorrow, but I'm here right now.

• 12:31Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 12:32Brooke Averick?

  But I'm so happy to see you.

• 12:34Connor Wood?

  I'm happy to see you. In a way.

• 12:37Brooke Averick?

  In a way. But, do you want to tell us why you're here or you can't?

• 12:40Connor Wood?

  No, I can. I'm hosting an award show tomorrow.

• 12:42Brooke Averick?

  That's so cool.

• 12:43Connor Wood?

  Agents versus agents. Yeah, I'm excited. I have like full-blown...

• 12:48Connor Wood?

  Like a whole night, a whole evening of script, which is cool. We were gonna have a teleprompter, but I was like, I would have, you know, like a panic.

• 12:56Brooke Averick?

  Did you write your own jokes or have they been written for you?

• 12:59Connor Wood?

  I wrote with someone else.

• 13:01Brooke Averick?

  Were you in a writer's room?

• 13:02Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 13:03Brooke Averick?

  Whoa.

• 13:03Connor Wood?

  Virtually, but it was great. It's fun. It was super fun. I know. It was like so collaborative. What a treat that was.

• 13:12Connor Wood?

  Now, I got in late on Monday and I rented a car and I got in so late that they were like, "Just go over to the lot from LAX. You like take that shuttle, you go over to this lot and just go pick a car."

• 13:27Brooke Averick?

  Any car?

• 13:28Connor Wood?

  Pick a car, any car. The only car that was left is

• 13:35Connor Wood?

  a Ford F-250. So it's a dooley. It's like a, it's a diesel truck. It's pretty much what a cattle rancher would maybe load a heifer into.

• 13:44Brooke Averick?

  I didn't know, out of the last two sentences you said, I knew about four words.

• 13:48Connor Wood?

  So it's a huge truck. That's the truck I'm driving around right now. I look like, I look like, well, you know, you know, when those like 11 year olds steal their parents' car from the gas station, they left the 11 year old in the car and he's speeding down the highway. It's like, we gotta pull him up. That's what I look like in this thing. It is impossible to drive.

• 14:08Brooke Averick?

  I see you as a truck person.

• 14:09Connor Wood?

  I like, I like driving a truck. I enjoy having a truck. I enjoy, maybe it's because

• 14:17Connor Wood?

  of like the way I'm built, it makes me feel, you know, like I get.

• 14:20Brooke Averick?

  Oh, you are built like a truck, baby.

• 14:21Connor Wood?

  I'm built like a truck?

• 14:22Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, like a semi.

• 14:24Connor Wood?

  A tonka. But I, yeah, I am enjoying it now.

• 14:30Connor Wood?

  I gotta go turn it back in because immediately I hit, I hit something. It's just like, it's so big. Like I'm not, it's, it's bigger than my hotel room. I'm not joking.

• 14:40Brooke Averick?

  Are you gonna get in trouble?

• 14:40Connor Wood?

  What?

• 14:40Brooke Averick?

  Are you gonna get in trouble?

• 14:41Connor Wood?

  No, I got insurance. But it's just, I don't really understand in what world would someone flying into Los Angeles need a, a truck that could tow a, a mobile home? Like what, what? Who's, who needs that truck? And it was the only thing left.

• 14:56Brooke Averick?

  You, a lot of people fly into LAX to go. On road trips, on camping road trips. I don't know about a lot, but someone definitely could and might.

• 15:06Connor Wood?

  It's great, Brooke. I have to take, there's a, there's a little staircase, like what you would get if a French Bulldog to get into your bed.

• 15:12Brooke Averick?

  There's no way I could get into this car.

• 15:13Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it like comes down when I open the door and I'm like hopping. It takes me, it takes me more than one second to get into the car.

• 15:20Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 15:20Connor Wood?

  I have to grab something and hoist myself.

• 15:22Brooke Averick?

  Ooh, yeah.

• 15:23Connor Wood?

  It's lovely to be in that truck.

• 15:25Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Once you're in it.

• 15:28Connor Wood?

  Once you finally get into the seat and then I lower my seat and I push it forward so I can reach the pedal, I really enjoy my time in there. It feels like you're in a, you're in the office. You're heading out to the oil, the rigs.

• 15:42Brooke Averick?

  It's great.

• 15:44Connor Wood?

  It is great.

• 15:46Brooke Averick?

  Well, I'm glad that you're here and even though that it took the truck to get you here.

• 15:49Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I, I have a story to tell you that I'm not ready to tell you yet.

• 15:53Brooke Averick?

  Is it the one that you texted me in Izzy and we're like, something so gross just happened. You're not even gonna believe me, but I have proof?

• 15:57Connor Wood?

  It seems like we've gone there on this podcast so many times. Like, I don't know. I don't know about this one.

• 16:04Brooke Averick?

  I do want to hear it pretty significantly.

• 16:06Connor Wood?

  No, I don't think I can tell you.

• 16:08Brooke Averick?

  No, you do have to. I'm fine with giving you some time before you say it, but you will have to say it before the episode ends.

• 16:16Brooke Averick?

  Are you going to say it now or are you going to say it like?

• 16:18Connor Wood?

  No, I need a little bit of time.

• 16:19Brooke Averick?

  That's a good teaching strategy, by the way. Give somebody, give two options and put the choice in your hands.

• 16:26Connor Wood?

  So unbelievable.

• 16:27Brooke Averick?

  So you feel like you have agency. Will you tell the story now or will you tell the story?

• 16:30Connor Wood?

  No, I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell it later. I am gonna tell it later.

• 16:32Brooke Averick?

  Okay, great. But see, you will be telling the story, champ.

• 16:38Brooke Averick?

  On my topics list, I just have Chinese and traitors.

• 16:44Connor Wood?

  What do you have to say about traitors?

• 16:45Brooke Averick?

  I started watching. I had never watched before.

• 16:46Connor Wood?

  Wow, Brooke.

• 16:47Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I'm obsessed.

• 16:49Connor Wood?

  I don't even know this girl. Sometimes, sometimes I, sometimes I come back to town. You know, I, I talk to her every week and then sometimes I come in and you've had like a seven day transformation where like,

• 17:01Connor Wood?

  you're different than you were last week and like every way.

• 17:03Brooke Averick?

  Thank you. I also don't smoke weed anymore.

• 17:07Brooke Averick?

  And I, so I love, this week, Chinese, don't smoke weed. I love traitors.

• 17:14Connor Wood?

  My god. I mean-

• 17:16Brooke Averick?

  The name of few.

• 17:19Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna come back, she's like, I'm actually, I'm running for mayor.

• 17:23Brooke Averick?

  I can almost guarantee you that probably won't happen.

• 17:27Connor Wood?

  I started smoking weed again, I'm running for mayor, and I'm becoming Russian. You might be Russian by next week.

• 17:35Brooke Averick?

  Oh, absolutely. I am Russian. By, by blood, ancestry.

• 17:40Connor Wood?

  Really?

• 17:40Brooke Averick?

  I think so.

• 17:42Connor Wood?

  You're 99.9% Askanazi Jew?

• 17:44Brooke Averick?

  Exactly.

• 17:45Connor Wood?

  How are you Russian at all?

• 17:46Brooke Averick?

  That's what, that's where we come from.

• 17:48Connor Wood?

  Russia?

• 17:48Brooke Averick?

  Yes. Eastern Europe.

• 17:50Connor Wood?

  I need to do some reading.

• 17:51Brooke Averick?

  Eastern Europe.

• 17:53Connor Wood?

  I didn't know that.

• 17:53Brooke Averick?

  But, oh, absolutely. So, yeah. But I love traitors. I'm having so much fun.

• 17:59Connor Wood?

  I really like traitors too.

• 18:00Brooke Averick?

  I thought I didn't like reality competition shows because I don't like, like, the challenges part I go on my phone for. But when they are fighting, you like the challenges? See, those, I'm like, I'm not invested in those. You worried about your belly button falling out?

• 18:15Connor Wood?

  It's been, I keep feeling almost your breath on it.

• 18:18Brooke Averick?

  Oh, really?

• 18:19Connor Wood?

  Maybe it's my breath. It's probably my breath, because I'm right here. No, I do love traitors. I've been, I've been tuned in since the last time.

• 18:26Brooke Averick?

  Well, I went back and watched Dylan's season.

• 18:28Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 18:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. What a talented individual. And I've always known that about him.

• 18:33Connor Wood?

  Me too.

• 18:34Brooke Averick?

  Just from the way he moves through the world. But to watch him in action, and Gabby?

• 18:39Connor Wood?

  Gabby.

• 18:40Brooke Averick?

  Wow.

• 18:41Connor Wood?

  Yeah, they are all really great. You know they're doing a civilian season.

• 18:43Brooke Averick?

  I want, so that's what I want to bring up. I want to do it.

• 18:48Connor Wood?

  You wouldn't be on the civilian season?

• 18:49Brooke Averick?

  Yes, I would. I wouldn't be on this, I wouldn't be on the famous people one, I asked already.

• 18:56Brooke Averick?

  Thanks.

• 18:57Connor Wood?

  I think, I think, I don't think that you could go on a season of that as a civilian.

• 19:02Brooke Averick?

  I absolutely, I'm a civilian.

• 19:03Connor Wood?

  That's like Charli D'Amelio going on Dancing Stars as the star instead of the dancer.

• 19:07Brooke Averick?

  No, she's not.

• 19:08Connor Wood?

  Classically trained dancer.

• 19:09Brooke Averick?

  I am a civilian.

• 19:10Connor Wood?

  I know, by trade, you're a civilian, but no, but by profession, you're not.

• 19:15Brooke Averick?

  Well, let's say by profession.

• 19:18Connor Wood?

  You're not a professionally trained civilian, that's what I'm saying.

• 19:20Brooke Averick?

  Well, like, I'm an, let's say I'm an author. That doesn't- Work for the current traders. Like, you don't have authors on that. It's like, reality TV people.

• 19:30Connor Wood?

  You don't have authors on that, yet. I'm sure someone on that, on that show has, or has or is currently writing a book.

• 19:36Brooke Averick?

  That's true. But, they don't have influencers or authors on that. And I would say those are my two things. So I'm gonna do civilian. I, I, I'm applying.

• 19:45Connor Wood?

  Okay. Does anyone? She couldn't be on civilian.

• 19:50Brooke Averick?

  I could. I absolutely could. They're reaching out to influencers. They want influencers.

• 19:56Connor Wood?

  I can't, I can't speak.

• 19:57Brooke Averick?

  You do not have to be a celebrity to play. We're looking for smart. I can, yes, sure, strategic, a little bit. Everyday people, absolutely. To compete in the ultimate game of trust and treachery. You don't, why do you not want me to go on traders?

• 20:11Connor Wood?

  I do.

• 20:11Brooke Averick?

  You'll miss me.

• 20:12Connor Wood?

  Oh, I'll miss you dearly. Now, Brooke, you, you have to be off your front for six weeks.

• 20:16Brooke Averick?

  No, you don't.

• 20:16Connor Wood?

  Yes, you do.

• 20:18Brooke Averick?

  I didn't know that.

• 20:18Connor Wood?

  I asked.

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• 21:50Brooke Averick?

  It's not six weeks. I already looked because I was worried about being away from my cats. It's two to four that you'd be there. And I didn't know about the phone. Is it safe? No phones on there, Izzy?

• 21:59Speaker 05

  No, but it does say.

• 22:02Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I can't go. It's in May 2026. I'm busy, but I'll do next season. I'm not worried.

• 22:11Connor Wood?

  It's another celebrity season.

• 22:12Brooke Averick?

  If you cannot have your phone, that's something else that I need to look into. But other than that, I will look forward to going on the next season of Civilian Traders.

• 22:25Connor Wood?

  They'd come find me under my blanket and I'd be like, I'd look up. I'm like on Instagram. I just needed to get some reels in. Like I just needed to get some reels in. I'm like, I think that this would be, this would essentially be like rehab for me from my phone.

• 22:38Brooke Averick?

  I think you can go on your phone.

• 22:40Connor Wood?

  You can't go on your phone.

• 22:42Brooke Averick?

  Traders doesn't have any, like you don't need to be closed off from the outside world and not have contact with people. Like that's not necessarily the plot of the show. Whereas it is in like The Bachelor. Not really, is it though? I feel like you probably can't have your phone in the castle, but in your hotel room.

• 23:02Connor Wood?

  I feel like someone just told me that you can't have your phone on Traders.

• 23:05Speaker 01

  I don't think they'd want you texting the other contestants.

• 23:07Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 23:09Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 23:09Brooke Averick?

  There, I will say something about Traders. There needs to be romance. There needs to be more romance.

• 23:13Connor Wood?

  Able to talk to his family and that was part of what made him willing to participate.

• 23:17Brooke Averick?

  Absolutely.

• 23:17Connor Wood?

  But I don't know if they get their own cell phones or if they get production devices or something.

• 23:21Brooke Averick?

  Here's what I'm fine with.

• 23:24Brooke Averick?

  I'm fine with just a device that I can touch. Like, that's my thing. Like, even if it's an iPod Touch, like, I need to be playing Fruit Merge. Like, I need to be swiping. That's the thing. And I need to be opening apps and closing them, and then opening the same one that I just closed again. Exactly. It's like smoking a cigarette. So, as long as I can fiddle, and I can talk to people, I'm okay. And I need a live cam of my cat.

• 23:50Connor Wood?

  We're tweakers. Like, it's so crazy, because I'm thinking about not having my phone. I was telling Izzy when I came in this morning, I was like, I need some Advil. And I was like, because my eyes hurt from looking at my phone the past few days. And I was like, when I wasn't on my phone, I was on my laptop. And when I go from my phone to my laptop, my laptop feels like I'm reading a book. And then when I go from my laptop to the TV, it literally feels like I'm having dinner with my grandparents. Like, that's how wholesome it gets, when the screen gets bigger. And for that reason, I need to be killed.

• 24:21Brooke Averick?

  And it's for that reason? No, I agree. And this could be a good break for us. So, will you come on with me?

• 24:26Connor Wood?

  I would love to.

• 24:27Brooke Averick?

  Great.

• 24:27Connor Wood?

  No, I'm not selling myself as a civilian, no offense to civilians affected. I'm a schmedium. I think I'm somewhere in the middle.

• 24:34Brooke Averick?

  You're a stand-up comedian, though, so that could...

• 24:36Connor Wood?

  You are handing...

• 24:37Brooke Averick?

  You're a Netflix is a joke...

• 24:38Connor Wood?

  We are PB and J, Brooklyn.

• 24:39Brooke Averick?

  You're a Netflix is a joke stand-up comedian.

• 24:42Connor Wood?

  No, we are right there together, walking hand in hand into this dark night, and we're not going quietly. It would be so fun if we were the traitor.

• 24:49Brooke Averick?

  Well, that's what I was gonna ask you. Do you want to be a traitor or a faithful?

• 24:52Connor Wood?

  Oh, I'm a liar. Like, I'm so good at lying.

• 24:54Brooke Averick?

  You want to be a traitor.

• 24:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I would love to be.

• 24:55Brooke Averick?

  I think I would want to be a faithful.

• 24:57Connor Wood?

  I think it would be fun to...

• 24:58Brooke Averick?

  But I would also be disappointed to be one.

• 24:59Connor Wood?

  Yeah. It'd be like, oh...

• 25:01Brooke Averick?

  I'd be stressed to be a faithful, but at the end of the day, I'd be like, this is exciting.

• 25:05Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 25:05Brooke Averick?

  And I would be relieved to be a faithful, but also disappointed. So, win-win, lose-lose.

• 25:10Connor Wood?

  It'd be fun to be on a show where it's like, the point is to be a deceitful, lying...

• 25:17Brooke Averick?

  Coniving.

• 25:18Connor Wood?

  Coniving.

• 25:18Brooke Averick?

  Colluding.

• 25:19Connor Wood?

  Gossiping.

• 25:20Brooke Averick?

  Commiserating.

• 25:21Connor Wood?

  Nasty.

• 25:21Brooke Averick?

  Colton.

• 25:22Connor Wood?

  Bitch. That would be so great. I think that'd be so fun. And then you get out and be like, oh, that's not me. I was just playing a game.

• 25:28Brooke Averick?

  And something that I can bring to the show, and this is a pitch for myself, that I feel like Traitors is lacking, is the romance. Now you'll notice Rob on this season.

• 25:37Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 25:37Brooke Averick?

  Can't help but notice the guy.

• 25:39Connor Wood?

  Why?

• 25:40Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 25:40Connor Wood?

  Why?

• 25:40Brooke Averick?

  I just, I can't help but notice, I just like him.

• 25:43Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 25:43Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 25:44Connor Wood?

  He was one of my closest friends.

• 25:45Brooke Averick?

  What do you mean?

• 25:46Connor Wood?

  We've just been close for a long time.

• 25:47Brooke Averick?

  What do you mean?

• 25:48Connor Wood?

  In, in, in the, in the definition of the word.

• 25:51Brooke Averick?

  Do you know Rob?

• 25:52Connor Wood?

  Yes, I know Rob.

• 25:53Brooke Averick?

  In what way?

• 25:53Connor Wood?

  Well, we're like brothers, only.

• 25:56Brooke Averick?

  Have you met?

• 25:56Connor Wood?

  Closer. Oh God, yeah.

• 25:58Brooke Averick?

  When?

• 25:59Connor Wood?

  Years ago.

• 26:00Brooke Averick?

  What did you, where?

• 26:01Connor Wood?

  I don't know.

• 26:02Brooke Averick?

  What did you say?

• 26:03Connor Wood?

  I don't remember.

• 26:04Brooke Averick?

  But you know you met?

• 26:05Connor Wood?

  100%.

• 26:06Brooke Averick?

  What was he like?

• 26:07Connor Wood?

  Sweet.

• 26:09Brooke Averick?

  When he knew the word commiserating, when Michael was misusing that and he said, that's not how you use the word, he want, he stole my heart.

• 26:17Connor Wood?

  He doesn't say much, but when he does.

• 26:19Brooke Averick?

  But when he does, his words carry weight. And so during my confessionals, I don't know if I'm a traitor. I don't know if I'm a faithful. I know exactly what Rob said to me this morning over breakfast and how long we sustained eye contact. And I think that's what the show is missing and I would like to offer it to them. Thanks.

• 26:37Connor Wood?

  So you'd like, like a casamore in traitors?

• 26:40Brooke Averick?

  I just think, yeah, I think it's missing romance.

• 26:43Connor Wood?

  That could add a level of je ne sais quoi.

• 26:46Brooke Averick?

  Can, can they fraternize?

• 26:50Connor Wood?

  That's not actually how you use that word.

• 26:51Brooke Averick?

  Out of the, like when you're out of the castle, I think they stay in hotels. Sorry if that's like, you're not supposed to talk about that. But like, are they locked in their rooms? They should be locked in their rooms because the traitors need to leave. And, and meet. So no one should be able to see that. So they should theoretically be locked in their rooms. But can they, so then they cannot hang? No?

• 27:12Connor Wood?

  Can they hang though? Um, that's a good question. I'm not cut up, so don't give me anything.

• 27:22Brooke Averick?

  There were hookups.

• 27:23Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 27:23Brooke Averick?

  There were hookups.

• 27:24Connor Wood?

  There were hookups. MJ said on Jeff Lewis. Oh, if anything is going to come out, it's going to be on Jeff Lewis Live.

• 27:31Brooke Averick?

  Is that what you went on?

• 27:32Connor Wood?

  Oh, I'm always on Jeff Lewis Live. Me and Jeff go as far back as me and Rob almost. Love to death.

• 27:39Brooke Averick?

  I wanted to hear more about you and Rob and I feel like a lot of people would. People are loving Rob. I didn't know who he was on Love Island, because I don't watch Love Island.

• 27:46Connor Wood?

  I, I mean, he was, he came up in the TikTok class with us. He was like, he was like a TikToker.

• 27:52Brooke Averick?

  No, he wasn't. He's a snake wrangler.

• 27:54Connor Wood?

  What do you think he was posting on TikTok?

• 27:56Brooke Averick?

  Connor.

• 27:58Brooke Averick?

  I don't know where he posted his snake content, actually. Was it on TikTok?

• 28:02Connor Wood?

  Yeah, and on Instagram, of course.

• 28:05Brooke Averick?

  If that makes sense, I guess.

• 28:07Connor Wood?

  Come on, Reels.

• 28:08Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 28:08Connor Wood?

  I'm obsessed with Instagram reels.

• 28:11Brooke Averick?

  You know what? I bet Rob would come on this podcast if you're such good friends.

• 28:13Connor Wood?

  He would. I don't know if he would. Yeah, I could ask him.

• 28:17Brooke Averick?

  I think he should.

• 28:17Connor Wood?

  I think it's a bad time. He's getting a lot of, he's busy.

• 28:20Brooke Averick?

  Get him while he's hot. Get him while he's hot.

• 28:23Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 28:23Brooke Averick?

  For the, for the press tour, assuming that they win. Get him while he's hot, Connor. You follow each other on Instagram, Connor?

• 28:32Connor Wood?

  God, yeah.

• 28:32Brooke Averick?

  DM him.

• 28:34Connor Wood?

  Okay. I'll DM him.

• 28:36Brooke Averick?

  What will you say?

• 28:38Connor Wood?

  Oh, my gosh. You want to know something crazy while we're talking about people that follow people?

• 28:41Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 28:41Connor Wood?

  Can everyone stop asking if I'm gonna kill myself on Instagram? I'm good. I get this. You are not alone.

• 28:46Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I got, I do too. I do too. I do too.

• 28:49Connor Wood?

  I'm, I'm alright.

• 28:53Connor Wood?

  If I was gonna kill myself, I wouldn't be posting on Instagram, I promise you.

• 28:58Connor Wood?

  So, Henry, Henry, Henry posted, or texted me this morning. He doesn't want this to be public, but I think this is fun.

• 29:06Connor Wood?

  He posted a bag haul.

• 29:09Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I saw that.

• 29:09Connor Wood?

  Of his bags.

• 29:12Connor Wood?

  Liked by Sarah Jessica Parker and immediately followed.

• 29:14Brooke Averick?

  And he did not follow her back, I noticed. Or he might have since she followed, but it said follow back when she followed him.

• 29:21Connor Wood?

  Well, yeah, she, she followed him first.

• 29:22Brooke Averick?

  She followed first, is what I'm trying to say.

• 29:23Connor Wood?

  That's a crazy, I was like, yeah, you completely made it.

• 29:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 29:27Connor Wood?

  Okay, Rob, half this podcast will be me being like, yeah, I'm gonna DM them.

• 29:33Brooke Averick?

  Read it out, read out loud what you will say. Hello?

• 29:36Connor Wood?

  I'm going to.

• 29:38Brooke Averick?

  You guys already have?

• 29:39Connor Wood?

  We chat. We're friends.

• 29:40Brooke Averick?

  Can I see?

• 29:41Connor Wood?

  No.

• 29:42Brooke Averick?

  Private?

• 29:42Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 29:43Brooke Averick?

  What are you guys talking about?

• 29:44Connor Wood?

  Ask him where he got his jacket.

• 29:46Brooke Averick?

  Where did he get it?

• 29:48Connor Wood?

  Diesel.

• 29:50Brooke Averick?

  He's someone I would actually be very comfortable talking to, and I'm not even just saying that. Because it's like the kind of person that's so hot, it's like I don't even care. You know what I mean? No?

• 30:00Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 30:02Brooke Averick?

  Like that's not even like, that's not someone that is going to be in my life long term. So it's like, I don't care. There's the stakes are really low. Does that make sense?

• 30:13Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Gosh dang it.

• 30:17Brooke Averick?

  Okay, what's, what's the trouble?

• 30:18Connor Wood?

  I just got on Instagram reels. I love them.

• 30:23Connor Wood?

  Cause I keep getting, um.

• 30:25Brooke Averick?

  Did you message Rob?

• 30:26Connor Wood?

  Yes, I said, would you come on like a podcast, please? Heart.

• 30:29Brooke Averick?

  Let me see.

• 30:33Connor Wood?

  I'm on reels again. Just kidding.

• 30:39Brooke Averick?

  Aw Connor.

• 30:40Connor Wood?

  Please.

• 30:41Brooke Averick?

  Good job.

• 30:42Connor Wood?

  Thanks.

• 30:42Brooke Averick?

  Thank you honey.

• 30:43Connor Wood?

  You didn't read my last message.

• 30:44Brooke Averick?

  What was your last message? Where'd you get your jacket?

• 30:47Connor Wood?

  I just said sick.

• 30:47Brooke Averick?

  Then he doesn't, he didn't need to respond. Wait, I have actually not really seen any of his content. Can we watch a snake wrangling?

• 30:53Connor Wood?

  Can we do it in bonus?

• 30:54Brooke Averick?

  Yes, absolutely Connor.

• 30:56Connor Wood?

  Okay. Cause I don't know how much, I don't know how much audio is gonna come through about him being like, whoa, like, you know?

• 31:03Brooke Averick?

  Well, I, I bet I'd have some commentary, but no worries. We can do it in bonus.

• 31:07Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 31:10Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, I was gonna tell you something.

• 31:12Brooke Averick?

  I wish you would.

• 31:13Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, I was gonna tell, oh, the way I was gonna tell you something, Brooke. We got really like,

• 31:19Connor Wood?

  we moved off of.

• 31:21Brooke Averick?

  Sorry, I took us to traitors.

• 31:23Connor Wood?

  It's, it's completely fine. I, I liked talking about traitors because I'm enjoying that, that too.

• 31:29Brooke Averick?

  I'm so glad.

• 31:30Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, what am I? What was I gonna tell you?

• 31:34Brooke Averick?

  Do you want to tell us the gross thing?

• 31:36Connor Wood?

  No, I'm gonna save that for, I'm gonna save that for at least 40 minutes in.

• 31:40Brooke Averick?

  Okay, so we have 15 minutes till the gross thing.

• 31:42Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 31:43Brooke Averick?

  What would you like to talk about for the next 15?

• 31:45Connor Wood?

  I don't know, there was like a lot of pop culture stuff that has gone down in the past week.

• 31:48Brooke Averick?

  Should we talk about it?

• 31:49Connor Wood?

  Well, it's funny because I don't really give about any of the actual sub, substance of the things that happened, like the Brooklyn Beckham thing, disowning the family and what have you.

• 31:58Brooke Averick?

  I'm curious about that.

• 31:59Connor Wood?

  That comes down to this thing that I said years ago about like A-list celebrities and how I kind of.

• 32:07Connor Wood?

  Like, I, here's the thing, like, I, I, I don't care about what happens with their fans. It's literally none of our business, but I know they're having like a media off between the two, where they're just like squashing each other, and it's sad to me, it makes me sad, but like-

• 32:22Brooke Averick?

  It makes me sad.

• 32:23Connor Wood?

  But I also don't like when celebrities of this level, like, humanize themselves, like, there's just, you know, I'm sorry, like, I kind of like when celebrities are like, larger than life. I do like that, like, that, that's what makes a celebrity, and so this like, new age thing where celebrities are like, "I'm just like you," and then like, "I'm fighting with my mom online," like, I'm like, "Ugh, you're not supposed to do that? I'm supposed to do, fight with my mom online."

• 32:49Brooke Averick?

  I mean, it is, it is helpful to know for some people, because I know that's just something you prefer, but some people genuinely do not know that celebrities are people. So like, it is a, it is a genuine reminder for some people, but-

• 33:04Connor Wood?

  I guess, but this is-

• 33:05Brooke Averick?

  Everyone is like, so like, "I'm team this, I'm team..." I don't know anything about the Beckhams, by the way, like, I truly like, know nothing about D, V, or B.

• 33:15Connor Wood?

  Oh, you know the initials?

• 33:16Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I know their names, and I know their professions, actually don't know what Brooklyn does.

• 33:22Connor Wood?

  He cooks.

• 33:23Brooke Averick?

  But, does he?

• 33:24Connor Wood?

  He's David Beckham's son.

• 33:25Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that's all I know, but I don't really know anything about them. Everyone's so eager to take a side, this is an ongoing investigation.

• 33:34Connor Wood?

  Right.

• 33:34Brooke Averick?

  We do not have all of the information yet, nor should we.

• 33:41Brooke Averick?

  And that's all I have to say, it just makes me sad.

• 33:42Connor Wood?

  I'm obviously hung up on my mom was dancing inappropriately on me at my wedding.

• 33:47Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that is-

• 33:48Connor Wood?

  God forbid she wants to shake some ass with her firstborn.

• 33:51Brooke Averick?

  That is where my attention went as well.

• 33:54Connor Wood?

  Uh, I mean, what are you gonna do? I mean, you throw a claim like, "Posh Spice was dancing inappropriately on me at my wedding," and then you look at David Beckham's tramp stamp of his son's name on, above his cheeks, and it does, it does, it doesn't look good.

• 34:11Brooke Averick?

  Well-

• 34:12Connor Wood?

  But it is also like, can you guys maybe just like, group text?

• 34:15Brooke Averick?

  Offline, I do think it's an offline thing, that being said, I do, it's tough, because I do think it should be offline, and I do want to see all of it happen.

• 34:24Connor Wood?

  Just, yeah, I think that there should be like, opt-in, not like, oh-

• 34:27Brooke Averick?

  Newsletter.

• 34:28Connor Wood?

  Newsletter.

• 34:29Brooke Averick?

  Substack.

• 34:29Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 34:32Brooke Averick?

  Well, would I opt in?

• 34:34Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I would love to see it.

• 34:35Brooke Averick?

  It should be an option.

• 34:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 34:37Brooke Averick?

  Should be an option.

• 34:37Connor Wood?

  And also, I ain't reading all that.

• 34:40Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 34:41Connor Wood?

  Uh, congrats, or sorry that happened. And she is apparently, quote, "on the floor in bits," like a Lego, about this. She, like, is upset naturally. And she's told the Daily Sun that... Why doesn't she tell her son Daily that? She's upset.

• 35:03Brooke Averick?

  That is why you are a stand-up comedian. I'm really serious. To me, that is genius.

• 35:09Connor Wood?

  Well, Brooke, thank you.

• 35:10Brooke Averick?

  To me, you are genius.

• 35:12Connor Wood?

  You are being so kind to just a man in a cardigan like myself with his belly button now.

• 35:16Brooke Averick?

  No, I'm really serious. I think I really, when you thrive, is when those things just slip out.

• 35:20Connor Wood?

  It's all purely luck, but thank you. And it's also...

• 35:23Brooke Averick?

  That's not luck.

• 35:24Connor Wood?

  Completely a gift from God.

• 35:25Brooke Averick?

  That's not... yeah.

• 35:26Connor Wood?

  Don't try to learn it.

• 35:26Brooke Averick?

  It's not luck.

• 35:27Connor Wood?

  You can't.

• 35:27Brooke Averick?

  But... You've been, like, being more humble recently.

• 35:35Connor Wood?

  Was there a time when I was, like... So there was a time when I was less.

• 35:40Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. But, like, you're not telling me any of your accomplishments. You're just being a little bit more under the radar.

• 35:47Connor Wood?

  You're giving... So the example you're gonna give, and I know what you're gonna give, is that yesterday it was announced that I am participating in Netflix's joke.

• 35:57Brooke Averick?

  That's insane.

• 35:58Connor Wood?

  And I... And Brooke texted me, "Were you not gonna say anything?" And I was like, "So..." I got booked on Netflix as a joke months ago. I was like, "That's amazing."

• 36:10Brooke Averick?

  Like, why didn't you text me when that happened?

• 36:12Connor Wood?

  I didn't know it was, like, the legit one. So, yesterday, uh...

• 36:19Brooke Averick?

  You thought it was the fake one?

• 36:20Connor Wood?

  Megan, I don't know. Like, I didn't know it was this. Like, I really didn't. Because things come across my desk, all that, you know, like, stuff, like... And I'm like, "Oh, my gosh, cool." Like, Netflix's joke, like, I thought it was just, like, maybe a one-off show that I'm doing, and it'll be like... Because I, like, I've gotten inbounds, like, via Netflix before to do, like, a showcase where I go up and I do five minutes on a big show that they're sponsoring. And so I, like, in my brain, I was like, "Oh, it's something like that." And then Megan texts me and goes, all caps, "Connor, are you joking?" And I was like, "Oh, no."

• 36:54Connor Wood?

  What's go- what's happened?

• 36:57Connor Wood?

  You know, is my mom online saying I dance inappropriately on her at her wedding?

• 37:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 37:01Connor Wood?

  You know? No. It's that I'm on day three of Netflix is a Joke Festival with Seth Rogen that same night, Matt Rife, let's see, my close friend Chelsea Handler, Mark Normand, Jonathan Van Ness and his friends, Sam Jay, Emile Joakim.

• 37:20Brooke Averick?

  And why, and you didn't post about it?

• 37:22Connor Wood?

  I was told I wasn't allowed to until today.

• 37:24Brooke Averick?

  I was waiting for you to post something so I could post it as well.

• 37:27Connor Wood?

  And then everyone posted, but I was advised not to. And then I was sent my graphic I was supposed to post yesterday.

• 37:33Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I want that.

• 37:33Connor Wood?

  And I was like, hate that picture, we need to go back to the drawing board. And so I'm hoping to get the graphic shortly. Well, thank you. That's very sweet.

• 37:42Brooke Averick?

  And you didn't really tell anyone about your, your rom-com.

• 37:46Connor Wood?

  Right, yeah, I did a short film. I, I told you I was filming that.

• 37:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, but you were like low-key about it and you didn't say anything when it came out.

• 37:53Connor Wood?

  Well, cause I can't.

• 37:54Brooke Averick?

  So I had to find it for myself and watch it.

• 37:55Connor Wood?

  I can't, what did you think?

• 37:57Brooke Averick?

  I thought it was so precious.

• 37:58Connor Wood?

  Oh, good, thanks. It was fun, it was a fun thing to film.

• 38:04Brooke Averick?

  It's on YouTube?

• 38:05Connor Wood?

  It's on YouTube. Yes. It was great.

• 38:09Brooke Averick?

  I looked up Connor Wood rom-com because he's not going to give you any of the details for some reason.

• 38:13Connor Wood?

  It's called Twixmas.

• 38:14Brooke Averick?

  Twixmas.

• 38:15Connor Wood?

  It's cute.

• 38:16Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, and you didn't really talk about that either.

• 38:17Connor Wood?

  Well, we don't have to, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, we don't have to do it here.

• 38:22Connor Wood?

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 38:24Brooke Averick?

  It was really cute.

• 38:25Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's, it's by our friend Jonah Feingold. I, I told you that.

• 38:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:30Connor Wood?

  And he's so good.

• 38:31Brooke Averick?

  But yeah, you've just been a little bit more under the radar than I'm used to.

• 38:36Connor Wood?

  Moving in silence, my belly button out when I say I'm moving in silence, like.

• 38:40Brooke Averick?

  Very low-key.

• 38:41Connor Wood?

  Good lord, like.

• 38:42Brooke Averick?

  Very low-key.

• 38:42Connor Wood?

  Some feedback for this brand, maybe, the belly. You need to, you need to give me another button there.

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• 40:18Brooke Averick?

  Um, okay. Well, I'm very proud of you.

• 40:21Connor Wood?

  I'm sweating.

• 40:22Brooke Averick?

  I'm very proud of you.

• 40:23Connor Wood?

  Thank you. That's very sweet. And I you, as always.

• 40:27Brooke Averick?

  No need, champ. But I have to perform a therapy exercise.

• 40:32Connor Wood?

  On yourself or me?

• 40:35Brooke Averick?

  Me.

• 40:35Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 40:36Brooke Averick?

  Um, well, my new therapist is helping in the sense that like when I get really anxious about something that I get really anxious about things that I don't know what the outcome is going to be. Like the unknown is very unsettling to me. And so it helps to verbalize plans and like courses of action that I can take should X, Y, or Z happen. So I'm going to Philly this weekend for some work stuff. And I think I'm going to get snowed in.

• 41:02Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 41:03Brooke Averick?

  I'm just going to say that it's a possibility that I'm going to get snowed in. You know, I don't know if I am. I don't know if I'm not. It's a possibility. And that's what's stressing me out. Hey, if I get snowed in, I'm going to be able to get home.

• 41:14Connor Wood?

  And you'll be in Philly.

• 41:16Brooke Averick?

  I'll be in Philly.

• 41:17Connor Wood?

  You could be somewhere. You could have been in Cleveland.

• 41:20Brooke Averick?

  I'm going to be able to get home. It's not the end of the world. I'm just more so stressed about the like, I get to the airport. I'm there for five hours. It's delayed, it's late, it's late, it's late. Then it's finally canceled. Like, I can't do that.

• 41:30Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that sucks.

• 41:30Brooke Averick?

  But you know what? It happens. I'll have my Kindle. I'll have my laptop. My cats will be taken care of.

• 41:38Brooke Averick?

  And it will be okay and I will get back to LA eventually.

• 41:41Connor Wood?

  That calmed me down.

• 41:43Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I really like my therapist.

• 41:45Connor Wood?

  Wait, so it's just accepting things are out of your control?

• 41:47Brooke Averick?

  It's just accepting and just like, okay, you know what, this might happen. And if it does, here's what I can do.

• 41:53Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 41:55Brooke Averick?

  So those are my options.

• 41:58Connor Wood?

  Options.

• 41:59Brooke Averick?

  Options. Because usually what I would have done in the past is just tell myself, it's not gonna get canceled. It's not gonna get canceled. And so when it does.

• 42:07Connor Wood?

  Devastating.

• 42:07Brooke Averick?

  It's pretty bad. Like, because I've told myself it's not going to.

• 42:10Connor Wood?

  Well, yeah. That's...

• 42:14Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna have to put that in my phone, even though it is simply just like accepting that things are out of your control. But the way you said it for some reason, I'm gonna use the Philly, being stuck in Philly as an example. I'm going... So this ice storm that's coming, I guess, is like once in a lifetime.

• 42:28Brooke Averick?

  Oh, great.

• 42:30Connor Wood?

  It's, they said that this is an ice storm, you're not gonna forget, whatever that means.

• 42:33Brooke Averick?

  So the one that's happening on Monday you're talking about?

• 42:35Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah.

• 42:36Brooke Averick?

  That's when my quiet out is, absolutely.

• 42:38Connor Wood?

  Cool.

• 42:39Brooke Averick?

  Hey, and I might get, I might get stuck there. No worries.

• 42:42Connor Wood?

  Fine.

• 42:42Brooke Averick?

  Who gives a fuck? Hey!

• 42:46Connor Wood?

  Um, or ice day, so I think that the ice storm itself is supposed to be pretty devastating.

• 42:52Brooke Averick?

  Pretty hard for planes to fly in icy conditions, isn't it?

• 42:55Connor Wood?

  I've heard that, yeah. I think more so, less so fly, more so take off and land.

• 43:02Brooke Averick?

  Exactly.

• 43:03Connor Wood?

  Flying is fine.

• 43:04Brooke Averick?

  But, the good news is that they can land in LA completely fine.

• 43:09Connor Wood?

  So they just need to get out, yeah.

• 43:10Brooke Averick?

  They just need to get out, which seems to me to be easier.

• 43:13Connor Wood?

  Um, I'm now getting...

• 43:17Connor Wood?

  Because I'm going to North Carolina next week, which will also be under duress. In duress?

• 43:21Brooke Averick?

  I think under was good.

• 43:23Connor Wood?

  Using duress?

• 43:25Brooke Averick?

  Being in duress be like?

• 43:27Connor Wood?

  So, North Carolina is going to be affected by the storm as well. Allegedly.

• 43:31Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 43:32Connor Wood?

  It's like the whole, um, thing. It's like everybody, so.

• 43:36Brooke Averick?

  When do you leave here? Do you leave here to go to North Carolina?

• 43:39Connor Wood?

  Friday, no, I go back to New York.

• 43:41Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 43:43Connor Wood?

  And then I'm in New York for a couple of days. But I heard, I mean, it's just been like, it's just been like miserable in New York too.

• 43:49Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 43:49Connor Wood?

  Like yucky.

• 43:51Brooke Averick?

  It's also gonna be seven degrees.

• 43:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 43:54Brooke Averick?

  Anything that does come from the sky will freeze pretty immediately on the ground.

• 44:01Connor Wood?

  On impact, on sight.

• 44:03Brooke Averick?

  Let me know if you guys are like flight experts, what you think I should do if I'm flying out of Philly on Monday? Should I just not even bother? Should I just book a flight for Tuesday? But I need to be back in LA. Just let me know what I should do. I'm trying not to stress about it. It's a little bit challenging for me, so.

• 44:19Connor Wood?

  I feel like there's a

• 44:20Brooke Averick?

  Who cares?

• 44:21Connor Wood?

  Thing where like everybody gets pushed.

• 44:25Brooke Averick?

  I think I should take the later, the latest flight.

• 44:26Connor Wood?

  From Monday to, no, because then you'll get rolled over to the next day regardless.

• 44:30Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, but like I feel like the later the flight, the more like the storm will be stopping possibly at the end of the day.

• 44:39Connor Wood?

  But it'll be night, so it'll just be colder.

• 44:42Brooke Averick?

  Maybe like a 4pm?

• 44:45Brooke Averick?

  Let me know what I should do. I'm serious. Please help me.

• 44:49Connor Wood?

  Um, that was like the evening that I

• 44:54Connor Wood?

  had to be back. It was the night before the Radio City Music Show when I was doing Jake's tour. And we were in DC the night before. And I did the opening and then they were like, you can lowkey like if you want to fly home tonight, we're gonna take the bus back from DC. So, and we're gonna sleep on the bus, but you could make it home on like a tent, like a 9:30pm flight. Washington DC is one of those fuck ass places with several airports and it just searches all of them for you. Even though one's 49 minutes away and one's 11. And so I obviously booked the 49 minute away one.

• 45:33Connor Wood?

  Missed that flight. Pushed, and then the next one delayed, delayed, delayed, delayed 1am, had to go back to my hotel, spend the night in DC, fly out the next morning. They, they were in bed at 2am in New York.

• 45:43Brooke Averick?

  I don't handle those situations like.

• 45:46Connor Wood?

  It's not fun, but at some point you gotta laugh.

• 45:48Brooke Averick?

  I see, I don't get to that point.

• 45:50Connor Wood?

  Oh, I'm just like, oh, this is, this is just. I'm gonna, I'm gonna have an ice cream.

• 45:55Brooke Averick?

  But you know, I'm gonna go into the airport being like, I have my laptop, my Kindle, my notebook. Let's treat it as a writing day.

• 46:02Connor Wood?

  A getaway.

• 46:03Brooke Averick?

  Let's treat it as a writing day. And if I happen to get on the plane, that's fabulous. If I don't, look how much work I got done.

• 46:12Connor Wood?

  Well said.

• 46:13Brooke Averick?

  Thank you.

• 46:13Connor Wood?

  I love the airport.

• 46:14Brooke Averick?

  See, I don't, I don't connect with that, but.

• 46:17Connor Wood?

  I could, like, I wish that there was.

• 46:21Brooke Averick?

  I wish there was a massive Barnes and Noble in the airport.

• 46:23Connor Wood?

  I wish there was someplace I could go that was the airport, but I don't have to get on the plane.

• 46:27Brooke Averick?

  And not go through security. The mall.

• 46:30Connor Wood?

  The mall. The people yearn for the mall. It's such a damn shame. They're all abandoned now.

• 46:37Brooke Averick?

  What? Not really.

• 46:38Connor Wood?

  I keep having dreams. Whoa, that just brought me back. Brooke? Sorry, this is... I feel like I get feedback every time I talk about my dreams. People are, "No, no one gives a shit about your dreams." I'm like, "Okay, I have to tell someone."

• 46:49Brooke Averick?

  I had a dream I went ice fishing with my high school sweetheart.

• 46:52Connor Wood?

  Whoa! I had a dream I was fishing last night, but more importantly, the world was ending. And I look up in the sky and Logan was, cousin Logan was moving up to LA and I was helping her move. And she's in this building and then I look up and all of, it was like an Elon Musk level, like all of these drones are landing and they're spraying something. And we're like trying to get inside and it had gotten like all over my skin and my eyes and it was making everyone go blind.

• 47:20Brooke Averick?

  That's really horrible.

• 47:21Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 47:22Brooke Averick?

  I like, that is a good genre though, blind apocalypse.

• 47:27Connor Wood?

  It wasn't good when it was happening to me.

• 47:29Brooke Averick?

  Just like for, like Bird Box, you know? That was a good book.

• 47:32Connor Wood?

  That was blind by choice though. Obviously it was like life or death situation, but like she chose to do that.

• 47:37Brooke Averick?

  I'm just saying apocalypse movies where you're, you don't have sight.

• 47:40Connor Wood?

  Sandra Bullock does a lot of blind themed movies.

• 47:43Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, The Blind Side.

• 47:45Connor Wood?

  Blind Side, Bird Box.

• 47:48Brooke Averick?

  What about Box Needed To Be? Emphasize for blindness.

• 47:54Connor Wood?

  I felt right when I was...

• 47:55Brooke Averick?

  I totally get it. Hi, 40 minutes. Time for your girl story.

• 47:59Connor Wood?

  No way. Wow. No, no, no, I'm not ready.

• 48:06Brooke Averick?

  You made a choice.

• 48:06Connor Wood?

  I just don't think, like, I should have just subtly just put it in.

• 48:11Connor Wood?

  Oh my god, okay, so. So yesterday morning, I woke up pretty early and I went on a walk and I.

• 48:19Brooke Averick?

  In LA?

• 48:20Connor Wood?

  In LA. And I go, I get a coffee, I walk down to the beach. Um, and I, I go onto the sand, I walk in, I'm like walking in the water, holding my shoes, whatever. And it was just like, and the fog rolled in by like 8 a.m.

• 48:35Brooke Averick?

  And you love fog?

• 48:37Connor Wood?

  It's a fog year. It's the year of fog.

• 48:41Connor Wood?

  Um, and I'm kind of, I'm down at the beach and it was cool. It was just like. It was like all of this negative space. I was like, this is like the coolest thing. I took a bunch of cool pictures. There was some dolphins.

• 48:56Connor Wood?

  Oh, is that your fingers?

• 48:56Brooke Averick?

  Sorry.

• 48:57Connor Wood?

  Oh, no, it's okay. I was just like, I'm hearing something.

• 48:59Brooke Averick?

  I'm growing out my fingernails. That's another new personality.

• 49:02Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 49:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 49:03Connor Wood?

  Um, and so I walk back up and like, I'm having an amazing day. And I go and I sit in the grass. Um, and I'm just sitting there. I have my shoes off. I'm, I'm laying back. I'm relaxing. And then I keep walking home and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna get one more, one more, one more coffee on the way home. So I get off the sand. I put my shoes on. I'm walking up. I get a coffee. Um, I popped into this thrift store that I'd been wanting to look into. Um, and then there's like a new baby store that opened on the street and I was like, I want to look at the toys. Like, cool. I was like, I. I'm gonna be in the hotel for a little bit. I might get a puzzle or something. I don't know. And then I'm.

• 49:47Connor Wood?

  I'm almost home.

• 49:49Brooke Averick?

  I don't even know where like.

• 49:50Connor Wood?

  You do.

• 49:52Brooke Averick?

  You had seaweed on your foot?

• 49:54Connor Wood?

  I wish. So.

• 49:57Brooke Averick?

  Izzy, do you know what?

• 49:58Connor Wood?

  So I itch, I itch my face.

• 50:00Brooke Averick?

  Bird poop?

• 50:01Connor Wood?

  I itch my face and I'm like.

• 50:04Brooke Averick?

  Regular poop?

• 50:05Connor Wood?

  I look at my hand. Poop on my hand.

• 50:13Connor Wood?

  And then I get my phone out. I'm like, if I smell it, is it, I look at my face, poop on my face.

• 50:21Connor Wood?

  Who pooped on me?

• 50:24Connor Wood?

  I can't believe it.

• 50:27Connor Wood?

  When did this get here?

• 50:30Brooke Averick?

  How long?

• 50:31Connor Wood?

  When did this get here?

• 50:32Brooke Averick?

  Were you walking around?

• 50:33Connor Wood?

  Oh my god, it must be on my shoes.

• 50:39Connor Wood?

  And I looked down. And I go like this. And I go like this. It's not on my shoes. And I look at my foot. It's in my shoes.

• 50:52Brooke Averick?

  Wait, you didn't notice you slipped your foot into poop?

• 50:57Connor Wood?

  There's poop in my shoe.

• 51:01Connor Wood?

  So I guess two things could have happened.

• 51:05Brooke Averick?

  There's poop in your shoe and not in your face.

• 51:08Connor Wood?

  Brooke.

• 51:11Connor Wood?

  Poop all over me.

• 51:13Connor Wood?

  One.

• 51:16Connor Wood?

  I stepped in poop while I was barefoot in the sand.

• 51:19Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 51:20Connor Wood?

  One option. Now, I walked-

• 51:22Brooke Averick?

  How do you not feel that?

• 51:24Connor Wood?

  Or two, when I was relaxing, something or someone pooped in my shoes when they were off of me.

• 51:30Brooke Averick?

  Either way, how do you not feel?

• 51:31Connor Wood?

  The thing is, I think I would have noticed if I had stepped in poop. So I'm leaning towards the second option, that someone pooped in my shoe while I was relaxing. Because I was lying back, eyes closed, off my phone.

• 51:44Brooke Averick?

  And you think this was a human?

• 51:47Connor Wood?

  Like, I don't want... I don't want to accept that, but that... It wasn't looking like dog poop, and it was not bird.

• 51:59Connor Wood?

  It wasn't... It wasn't Santa Monica. So there is a... There's a genuinely, like, a... Decent chance it was a person that pooped in my shoe while I was relaxing.

• 52:10Connor Wood?

  I have a photo. Like, there is a photo. I'm gonna show you guys after. I'm not gonna do it right now. I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna get... Just know that it sounds like I'm making this up.

• 52:21Connor Wood?

  I started crying, like I was tearing up.

• 52:24Connor Wood?

  Because guys, I want to emphasize one more time, I visited three establishments with poop, guys, and it was

• 52:33Connor Wood?

  there was enough poop where it was like humming out of my shoe.

• 52:37Brooke Averick?

  At least it wasn't on your face yet. At least it wasn't on your face till later.

• 52:44Connor Wood?

  I was a patron, I like, I got a coffee, I got, I went into a thrift store, like shoe full of poop.

• 52:52Brooke Averick?

  Wait.

• 52:52Connor Wood?

  And get this.

• 52:53Brooke Averick?

  And but it was on your hand the whole time?

• 52:56Connor Wood?

  It was on my hand the whole time.

• 52:58Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 52:59Connor Wood?

  And, and there wasn't a ton of poop on my hand, it was I could see it, and then I, obviously, I'm like, I'm pretty close to my hotel, but like, I'm I'm mortified, I'm just like, I, there's poop all over me, like, and then I was like, I can't go like, I'm like, do I throw away my shoes out here? And I'm like, I have to, they're not usable shoes. But I, I was like, I could also just get into my hotel, but then I was like, I have to get in the, what if someone gets in the elevator with me? I was like, I have to, so I, I went down to the ocean, I, I bathed in the ocean, I had to, like, I, I

• 53:32Brooke Averick?

  You had to.

• 53:33Connor Wood?

  There was nowhere to go, I had to go wash off in the ocean.

• 53:37Brooke Averick?

  That's what the ocean's for.

• 53:38Connor Wood?

  I mean, it was just like shoeless bathing in the ocean, just like thinking about, like, I'm thinking about, like, how many people walked by me, and I'm like

• 53:50Connor Wood?

  I must look cool today, like, I'm like, I have a good outfit on, it's just like.

• 53:55Brooke Averick?

  Wow.

• 53:56Connor Wood?

  So that was a story, I'm glad, we got it.

• 53:58Brooke Averick?

  That was worth it, that was worth the wait, thank you for sharing that.

• 54:01Connor Wood?

  There's like there's just like not a world where that happens to anyone else, ever, except me.

• 54:08Brooke Averick?

  I agree, I agree, I do agree.

• 54:09Connor Wood?

  Me and my huge truck, poop in my shoe. My stupid chungus life.

• 54:19Brooke Averick?

  Poop all over me.

• 54:23Connor Wood?

  Poop pooped on the front of me.

• 54:24Brooke Averick?

  Who pooped on the side of my face?

• 54:31Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh.

• 54:32Brooke Averick?

  Oh, that's really horrible and amazing.

• 54:34Connor Wood?

  So I took like the hottest shower you could ever take, like an hour long. Oh, and then you just have to like get on a Zoom call and act like you didn't just have poop all over you.

• 54:45Brooke Averick?

  That is like, I don't know if I, I think I'd call it.

• 54:51Connor Wood?

  I needed normalcy to happen. Like I needed my day to like continue on so I could shake that.

• 54:55Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 54:55Connor Wood?

  It's just something that like, you're like, I'm talking out loud, by the way, like, no, no, like when uh, we could just, I'm like going through, like, I'm like, no, no, no, no. And like, there's guys walking by in suits and something like, no, it's not me, it's not me. It was you.

• 55:11Brooke Averick?

  Wow.

• 55:13Brooke Averick?

  Pooped in your shoe.

• 55:15Connor Wood?

  So that is off my chest and off my face and off of my foot now, which feels so good.

• 55:22Brooke Averick?

  Wow.

• 55:24Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna move forward.

• 55:25Brooke Averick?

  How do we move on from that?

• 55:26Connor Wood?

  I'm just gonna move forward. We had a conversation last week about,

• 55:32Connor Wood?

  how did it come up when I was telling you, like, I've heard several people be like, isn't my dog sexy?

• 55:39Brooke Averick?

  Uh, so I know exactly what it was. I sent you a DM.

• 55:44Brooke Averick?

  I'm gonna go into our DMs.

• 55:46Connor Wood?

  There's like a genre of-

• 55:47Brooke Averick?

  A book. It's Minotaur romance. So I sent you, there's a new,

• 55:54Brooke Averick?

  uh, romance called Meetings with the Minotaur and it's gay Minotaur. And I was like, this could be interesting for me. Big horns, big secrets, even bigger chemistry. Yeah. And then there's Morning Glory, Milking Farm.

• 56:06Connor Wood?

  And then there's Bad Boy Minotaur.

• 56:07Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. But I like hadn't been interested in it, in it until I was like-

• 56:11Connor Wood?

  Minotaur's secret baby.

• 56:13Brooke Averick?

  Izzy, can you look up Meetings with the Minotaur, Love at Labyrinth Solutions, Book One?

• 56:19Brooke Averick?

  You don't need to look up Love at Labyrinth Solutions, Book One, but-

• 56:24Brooke Averick?

  So you know this because of heated rivalry and everything, I've been really into like gay romance. And I was like, maybe this could be good. But then I was Connor and I were talking about like, wait, is like Minotaur romance bestiality?

• 56:36Connor Wood?

  Low key.

• 56:37Brooke Averick?

  And it, but it's not because the issue with bestiality is consent. And this is like, they're like human-esque.

• 56:45Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 56:45Brooke Averick?

  The Minotaurs.

• 56:47Connor Wood?

  Oh my God.

• 56:48Brooke Averick?

  Anyway, that's how we started talking about bestiality and dog.

• 56:50Connor Wood?

  Well, I mean, if, if, if meetings with a Minotaur is considered bestiality, so would, so would Beauty and the Beast.

• 56:56Brooke Averick?

  Which it's not.

• 56:58Connor Wood?

  Which like, I have a little bit of an issue with Beauty and the Beast because I'm having trouble. That's obviously a cow, you know, with, with like legs and he's wearing a, he's working on Wall Street.

• 57:09Brooke Averick?

  Well, I think that that, that would show, I think it's kind of like, this is just a different kind of person. Cause it is more, they are like human.

• 57:19Connor Wood?

  Maybe I have a closed mind.

• 57:20Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I do think that that's what it's trying to show you.

• 57:24Brooke Averick?

  Because I too am a little unsettled. Like I don't, like Morning Glory, Milking Farm is like a big book and I have been like, I don't think I can do that.

• 57:32Connor Wood?

  Do you see where I'm coming from where it's like, okay, if you are like, because Minotaurs aren't real. Do you know what I mean? Like that. I do think it's opening people up to be like,

• 57:44Connor Wood?

  like I want to fuck that warthog, you know, like I could say, I don't think that that's a huge leap to be made.

• 57:48Brooke Averick?

  Well, they're not, they don't have, what is the word called? Sentience? No, animals have sentience. What's the word? It's like not, it's like human.

• 57:58Connor Wood?

  Conscious.

• 57:59Brooke Averick?

  It's like, no, because animals have that too.

• 58:01Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 58:01Brooke Averick?

  Let me, I saw, let me look.

• 58:04Brooke Averick?

  Why aren't romances about Minotaurs? Beast.

• 58:11Connor Wood?

  Let's hit the experts here. Definitely someone on.

• 58:15Brooke Averick?

  Oh, sapient.

• 58:16Connor Wood?

  Sapient, yeah.

• 58:17Brooke Averick?

  They're sapience consenting humanoid entities. And that's all you need to know.

• 58:23Connor Wood?

  Period.

• 58:24Brooke Averick?

  Period on God.

• 58:27Brooke Averick?

  So that's it.

• 58:28Connor Wood?

  So that's really all.

• 58:29Brooke Averick?

  But then anyway, Connor was saying.

• 58:30Connor Wood?

  Yeah, well, then this is what I, there's a genre of people who are like, how sexy is my dog? You know, like, I've seen this so many times, and then Brooke has never seen it happen.

• 58:42Brooke Averick?

  I've not seen that.

• 58:43Connor Wood?

  But I've seen so many people, like TikToks, be like, isn't my dog, like, low-key hot? Has anyone seen that?

• 58:47Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 58:48Connor Wood?

  Any people say that? Wow. Okay, wow, I thought this was a larger issue. And you do build your algorithm by things that you engage with.

• 58:55Brooke Averick?

  Rick, five Rick, baby.

• 58:57Connor Wood?

  Hmm.

• 58:58Brooke Averick?

  So have you seen that from anyone you know, or just algorithms?

• 59:01Connor Wood?

  I've heard people say that, that I know.

• 59:03Brooke Averick?

  Like, I feel like that is something maybe that your cousin Logan would say.

• 59:06Connor Wood?

  You got it. I didn't even have to say it.

• 59:07Brooke Averick?

  So I don't think that that counts as, I don't think that that can be applied.

• 59:11Connor Wood?

  I don't think it's like.

• 59:12Brooke Averick?

  Anyone else. I don't think that that can fall to a most people.

• 59:15Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna hook up with my pet.

• 59:17Brooke Averick?

  I didn't think it was.

• 59:18Connor Wood?

  It's more like, if my pet turned into a human, we would.

• 59:23Brooke Averick?

  He would be a hot human?

• 59:24Connor Wood?

  Go on a date, yeah.

• 59:26Brooke Averick?

  I could see, that makes more sense to me that my dog is hot.

• 59:30Connor Wood?

  I know, I think that that's.

• 59:31Brooke Averick?

  It makes sense to be like, my, if my dog morphed into a humanoid, sapient, consensual being, he would be a good-looking guy. That I get.

• 59:43Connor Wood?

  I know, but that's just like making the comparison that like, this would be a good-looking man.

• 59:49Brooke Averick?

  I know exactly what my cats would look like if they turned into humans.

• 59:53Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 59:55Brooke Averick?

  Rob would be like a total beefcake with a buzz cut.

• 59:57Connor Wood?

  See, now we're eating like, it's like weird to me that we would make that.

• 1:00:00Brooke Averick?

  I didn't mean hot.

• 1:00:01Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 1:00:02Brooke Averick?

  I just meant like beefcake as in like, like thicker, like a sturdier guy.

• 1:00:06Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 1:00:07Brooke Averick?

  And John would be very like twink-based, twink-forward.

• 1:00:12Connor Wood?

  Got it. So it's this book.

• 1:00:15Brooke Averick?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:00:18Brooke Averick?

  A little. That is Rob and John, yeah. Oh, I love that, Connor. Thanks for sharing.

• 1:00:24Connor Wood?

  I know, I'm so excited for people to come back with feedback on the like, seeing people post that their dogs are, I know, there, I know there's a community of people that are just like.

• 1:00:33Brooke Averick?

  When you framed it as dog turning into human, that made more sense to me.

• 1:00:37Connor Wood?

  That's what I, yeah, I think that they are saying that, but people are just blatantly being like, how hot is my dog?

• 1:00:41Brooke Averick?

  I, I, with your cousin, I would, I feel like it is more like, this dog is hot.

• 1:00:48Connor Wood?

  She's married to a man and has a baby, like with a man, not a dog, but yeah, she would.

• 1:00:54Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:55Connor Wood?

  I think, and I think that she would agree, she'd be okay, I think, without saying that.

• 1:01:03Connor Wood?

  I'm glad we covered that today.

• 1:01:04Brooke Averick?

  Oh, me too. We're going a few different places today.

• 1:01:09Brooke Averick?

  Oh, White Lotus, season four.

• 1:01:11Connor Wood?

  Saint-Tropez.

• 1:01:12Brooke Averick?

  It is gonna be in Saint-Tropez?

• 1:01:14Connor Wood?

  I thought it was gonna be in like France.

• 1:01:15Brooke Averick?

  Me too. I think I told you that, and I think I made it up.

• 1:01:19Connor Wood?

  The White Lotus is heading to Saint-Tropez. Oh, I'm so smart. The suites at the 19th century palace, turned luxury hotel run 3K to 8K per night with a spa beach access by Rolls Royce, transfer, restaurants, sports activities, and a children's camp.

• 1:01:38Brooke Averick?

  Chris Messina is in talks to be in it, who is that guy I love from The Mindy Project?

• 1:01:43Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:43Brooke Averick?

  You remember he was in that Peacock show also that I loved, based on a true story? I will freak out if that's the case. I love him.

• 1:01:51Connor Wood?

  I don't know why I don't like the idea of it being in like a, like a European country. But I do think that they were getting like a lot of flack for going to places.

• 1:02:00Brooke Averick?

  It was in Italy, season two.

• 1:02:02Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah, it was. That was good.

• 1:02:04Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:05Connor Wood?

  Okay, maybe.

• 1:02:05Brooke Averick?

  You might like it.

• 1:02:06Connor Wood?

  For two.

• 1:02:07Brooke Averick?

  I thought they were supposed to go somewhere cold this season.

• 1:02:10Connor Wood?

  I think that would play too.

• 1:02:12Brooke Averick?

  I think they should go to Iceland.

• 1:02:15Connor Wood?

  I think they should go to Greenland.

• 1:02:16Brooke Averick?

  Greenland's colder than Iceland.

• 1:02:17Connor Wood?

  No, and then half of it is just like Trump coming and being like, we're buying this now, you guys have like, it's America. I don't know what's happening with that. But luckily, that's like not something that we need to cover on this podcast.

• 1:02:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:30Connor Wood?

  Good luck, everybody else.

• 1:02:33Connor Wood?

  No, I think this will be good. I forgot about Italy. Italy was one of my favorite seasons.

• 1:02:38Brooke Averick?

  I'm trying to remember what happened.

• 1:02:40Connor Wood?

  Um, the dad was just like sex addict, Tanya, Adam DiMarco was in it.

• 1:02:44Brooke Averick?

  Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, and Leah Woodall and Hillary Richardson.

• 1:02:48Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah, that was really good.

• 1:02:50Brooke Averick?

  Oh, my God, and Audre Pollock. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Megan Peggy and everyone. Oh, this was a great season. Damn, White Lotus and Greg, who everyone says looks like Pop-Up.

• 1:02:59Connor Wood?

  He does.

• 1:02:59Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Pop-Up says he get people like will come up to him on the street and say that.

• 1:03:04Connor Wood?

  I could see that.

• 1:03:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:05Connor Wood?

  They have like the exact same.

• 1:03:07Brooke Averick?

  He's just a bald guy.

• 1:03:08Connor Wood?

  Yeah. I think I want to be bald. I'm getting like a lot of bald propaganda, pro-bald.

• 1:03:14Brooke Averick?

  I just read, you know that book I read, uh, everybody in this, I get, always get tripped up on the title, but it is one of my favorite books, Everybody in This Room Will Someday Be Dead, where the girl is like obsessed with thoughts of dying. I've spoken about it.

• 1:03:26Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:27Brooke Averick?

  I read a second book by that author, Emily Austin, who I'm obsessed with, and this girl had like lived with a very, very severe phobia of bald men.

• 1:03:37Connor Wood?

  Oh, no.

• 1:03:37Brooke Averick?

  And that's what the book was about. Cause she had PTSD and grappling with a fear of bald men. Like she saw a bald man and it was like, full panic.

• 1:03:47Connor Wood?

  She would have a tough time in Florida.

• 1:03:48Brooke Averick?

  Like she was struggling, like at work, there was, she had a new bald coworker and that was like a big plot of the book was like navigating that.

• 1:03:56Connor Wood?

  Did she have a negative experience with a bald man?

• 1:03:58Brooke Averick?

  Kind of. I don't want to spoil the book, but there was a bald man, kind of. But it's called Interesting Facts About Space. You should read it. I think she's my favorite author.

• 1:04:09Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 1:04:09Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I'm reading another one of her books right now.

• 1:04:13Connor Wood?

  Emily.

• 1:04:13Brooke Averick?

  Emily Austin.

• 1:04:14Connor Wood?

  Austin.

• 1:04:15Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:15Connor Wood?

  Isn't that who wrote?

• 1:04:16Brooke Averick?

  That's Emily Henry.

• 1:04:17Connor Wood?

  No, no, no.

• 1:04:19Brooke Averick?

  You're thinking Jane Austen?

• 1:04:19Connor Wood?

  Love Emily Henry, by the way.

• 1:04:21Brooke Averick?

  I love Emily. I genuinely love Emily Henry.

• 1:04:23Connor Wood?

  Um, I'm thinking of Jane Austen.

• 1:04:24Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. No, Emily Austin.

• 1:04:26Connor Wood?

  Dead and killed herself?

• 1:04:27Brooke Averick?

  Oh, like just old and dead.

• 1:04:30Connor Wood?

  She's old and dead?

• 1:04:31Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:31Connor Wood?

  Hmm.

• 1:04:33Brooke Averick?

  One of the classics.

• 1:04:34Connor Wood?

  Bummer. She wrote something. Pride and Prejudice. Wow. I'm like getting there, you know, Hodgkin's lymphoma.

• 1:04:40Brooke Averick?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:04:43Brooke Averick?

  This, I don't know, like I always forget that like cancer has been around. You just don't really hear like in the olden days, like people dying of cancer. You hear like plague, black plague and black lung and like syphilis and you don't hear of like camp. I guess no one really like

• 1:04:59Connor Wood?

  All the classic ones.

• 1:05:00Brooke Averick?

  What to do with it.

• 1:05:02Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:04Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:06Brooke Averick?

  I've been Googling a lot of health-related anxieties. And Google does seem to think that like by the time I'm 60, there will be serious advancements in cancer research, which makes sense.

• 1:05:19Connor Wood?

  I told you last week I went to the urgent care. I told you both. I told you I went to urgent care. I was like, I've never had a headache such as this. And the guy was like, I mean, like, what is it? What does it feel like? And I was like, it feels like, are you? It feels like a headache, like it really hurts. Like, he's like, one to 10. And I was like, nine. He's like, okay, I mean, it's probably like sinusitis. And I was like, do you want to check? Like, I was like, what if my brain's bleeding? He's like,

• 1:05:48Brooke Averick?

  There's an episode of Black Mirror.

• 1:05:49Connor Wood?

  I'm not joking. Like, why, like, it's so weird how at urgent care, they'll be like, mm, no.

• 1:05:57Brooke Averick?

  You could literally like have been looking at your phone too much, or you could have a tumor, or anywhere in between.

• 1:06:03Connor Wood?

  No, it's not a tumor. I asked.

• 1:06:05Brooke Averick?

  No, but I'm saying like, that's what, like, how will anyone ever know unless you spend $5 million on an MRI?

• 1:06:10Connor Wood?

  Well, he said, like, you, one, you wouldn't know if you had a brain tumor. And I was like, that doesn't make me feel better. That makes my head hurt. And he's like, two, if your brain was bleeding, you'd still be in bed. And I was like, I would love to be in bed. I'm strong, like, I have a, I needed to be here so I could get it fixed. And he's like, I would say Advil. And I was like, you're weak, a doc. Like, and it's, of course, the urgent care that was completely readily available on the side of the road. So, I don't know if we were dealing with employee of the month.

• 1:06:38Brooke Averick?

  Did your headache go away?

• 1:06:39Connor Wood?

  No, God, no. Not as much.

• 1:06:44Brooke Averick?

  In this episode of Black Mirror, there's this doctor that has a helmet that allows him to experience his, the pain, the exact pain that his patients are feeling. And like, obviously, it ended pretty horribly for him.

• 1:06:56Connor Wood?

  Right.

• 1:06:56Brooke Averick?

  But I do think that that would be really good.

• 1:06:59Connor Wood?

  We talked about this because I was saying how, what if I have this horrible, horrible pain that I'm just like used to, and I gave it to you, and you were like, ah, help me, help me! And I'm just like, used to it?

• 1:07:09Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:07:10Connor Wood?

  Oh, I was gonna tell you something. I just remembered. Did you know High School Musical is now as old as Grease was when our parents told us about it?

• 1:07:18Brooke Averick?

  Don't. I watched Grease the other day. It's the best thing I've ever seen.

• 1:07:21Connor Wood?

  It's a good movie.

• 1:07:22Brooke Averick?

  Um, 20 years old.

• 1:07:25Connor Wood?

  Grease?

• 1:07:26Brooke Averick?

  No, High School Musical.

• 1:07:27Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:28Brooke Averick?

  I came alive 20 years ago. I was born 20 years ago. No, let's just say born.

• 1:07:33Connor Wood?

  Reborn.

• 1:07:34Brooke Averick?

  And call it.

• 1:07:35Connor Wood?

  Okay. I'm cool with that.

• 1:07:37Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. High School Musical for me really was the beginning of, the start of something new, so to speak.

• 1:07:43Connor Wood?

  Well, it's sad.

• 1:07:43Brooke Averick?

  Like, the birth of a very important piece of me.

• 1:07:47Connor Wood?

  Lady E.

• 1:07:48Brooke Averick?

  Who still lives within me.

• 1:07:49Connor Wood?

  The woman who lived.

• 1:07:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I have to pee like pretty significantly.

• 1:07:53Connor Wood?

  Our cycles are synced today.

• 1:07:55Brooke Averick?

  So it was lovely talking to you.

• 1:07:57Connor Wood?

  See ya, Peanut Butter.

• 1:07:58Brooke Averick?

  Bye, Jelly.

• 1:07:59Connor Wood?

  I didn't like that. That felt weird. But we are PB and J. We should've said PB and J.

• 1:08:03Brooke Averick?

  Because I'm jelly.

• 1:08:05Connor Wood?

  Whoa, maybe that's what it was.

• 1:08:06Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:07Connor Wood?

  Later, Jay.

• 1:08:08Brooke Averick?

  Bye, PB.

• 1:08:09Connor Wood?

  I liked that. That felt better. All right. Thank you, guys, for listening. Sorry about what I told you. That's not reflected of my character. Um, and I'm, I took a long shower, so.

• 1:08:21Connor Wood?

  It's just crazy that, like, I went to the Golden Globes and then immediately had poop all over me, you know, like?

• 1:08:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. It's important to stay humble. Maybe that's why you've been so humble.

• 1:08:34Connor Wood?

  You guys walk around with your shoes off in Los Angeles.

• 1:08:36Brooke Averick?

  No wonder you didn't post about Netflix as a joke yesterday. You have poop on your face.

• 1:08:41Connor Wood?

  Thank you, guys, for listening. We'll see you next week. Bye.

• 1:08:43Brooke Averick?

  Bye.

• 1:08:54Speaker 01

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