Joy 101: Alfonso Ribeiro

“There was a time when I absolutely hated it. You know, time, age and wisdom give you perspective. Now, what I'm able to understand is they're asking me to continue to bring them joy with something that I have already created. It's not an insult. They're letting me know that at the end of the day, you bring me joy.” --Alfonso Ribeiro on being constantly asked to the Carlton dance Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb is Presented by CVS. Shop your local CVS, right around the corner. Experience the full conversation on the "Joy 101 podcast with Hoda Kotb" wherever you listen to podcasts. For more information, please visit us at www.joy101.com/podcast https://nam04.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.joy101.com%2Fpodcast&data=05%7C02%7CBrianBurton%40iheartmedia.com%7C9e04d583f9904a99753e08dec8c6b989%7C122a527e5b714eba878d9810b495b9e3%7C0%7C0%7C639168953018419862%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=dwz1QWPmQ2UBoCl6ZIAUxr745RfDQz4JQ7DQ80voaPg%3D&reserved=0 See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:11Hoda Kotb?

  Hey guys, I'm Hoda Kotb. Welcome to Joy 101, the podcast. So I am constantly seeking, I'm like seeking inspiration, I'm seeking joy. I'm seeking things that just make me feel good. And something crazy happened to me on a flight the other day. So I was flying back from Miami and it was 7:00 AM. I was exhausted. It was like just another regular flight. I'm sitting down and there's a guy who gets on the plane. And he was supposed to be sitting in another seat, but that was occupied. So he just plopped down next to me and we started talking. And so I thought it was going to be a two-minute conversation. And then I was going to go nighty-night. So the guy goes, you know, I've been feeling kind of heavy lately. And I was like, oh, I go, I go, what do you mean?

• 0:53Hoda Kotb?

  He goes, I just, I saw this image on Instagram. And it was a child who was an orphan and was hungry. And I can't stop thinking about him, like I couldn't stop. I woke up in the night and I couldn't stop thinking about him. And so I did a deep dive on the kid. So he went on Instagram and he found the photographer who took the picture. Then he found the orphanage and it was in Uganda. And he tracked, tracked, tracked until he got in touch with the man who ran the orphanage. And he called and he said, listen, I saw this image. Can I send something? And the guy said, send anything. So we sent clothes. And then the guy on the plane showed me a picture of the kids wearing new clothes. And I was getting teary-eyed. I was like feeling that feeling.

• 1:36Hoda Kotb?

  And he was like, and then they asked, I asked, how much does it cost to feed all these children, you know, an image of like dozens and dozens of kids? And he said, $232 a month. And so we started sending money. So this conversation weirdly like cracked me open. Like we were sharing, it was beautiful, like I was weepy. It was like one of those weird encounters that you feel like you're, you have different feelings inside. I get off the plane, I'm walking, and this woman is in a wheelchair. Her husband's pushing her, and their four-year-old daughter is walking along. I'm walking, normal. She slips her hand in my hand and just holds it.

• 2:20Hoda Kotb?

  And I look at her, and she goes, "My name is Bree." And I go, "Hi." So I'm walking, this kid is holding my hand. We're walking through the airport, and her parents just kind of smile, and we keep walking. And we get to the elevator, and she says, "I have to take the elevator with my mom and dad. Will you wait for me? Because I was taking the escalator." So I said, "Yes." So I took the escalator, waited for Bree, and she slipped her hand back in mine. And we walked to the door, and I said, "Goodbye." And I can't stop thinking about this encounter, because I think what happened was, on the plane, I was kind of cracked open. And you know that feeling when you're open, suddenly goodness comes?

• 3:03Hoda Kotb?

  Well, all of a sudden, that little four-year-old girl and me, we were connected. And I thought to myself, "All I want to do is have more of that. I want to have more of those moments that open you up, make you feel joyful, show you that there's goodness all around." So joy's in the tiny things. Which brings me to our episode today. Who is somebody who personifies joy? You know, the kind of person who, when they walk in a room, like bam, it's like the lights go on. You want to be near that person. Well, I know who that person is. It's Alfonso Ribeiro. Alfonso is the guy from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, but he's more than all that.

• 3:45Hoda Kotb?

  This guy is somebody who everyone in Hollywood says is the nicest guy. He's the guy who is kind to every single person. What makes him that way? What's he about? Where does it come from? We're going to explore all of it in our podcast, Joy 101.

• 4:02Speaker 01

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• 4:07Hoda Kotb?

  Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb is presented by CVS. I've realized that joy doesn't always come from those big moments. Sometimes you find it on the most ordinary day. I'll pop into a CVS for toothpaste or paper towels, and it never seems to be just a quick errand. Maybe I'll grab a delicious Well Market Trail Mix or wander over to the Joy Word Collection. That's part of the fun. So the next time you're checking something off your to-do list, stop by your local CVS Pharmacy. You might go in for one thing and leave with a little more joy. Visit your local CVS Pharmacy, sponsored by CVS. Every purchase is a financial decision. So it's worth asking, what am I getting out of this? If you're using the Chase Freedom Flex Card,

• 4:50Hoda Kotb?

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• 6:13Hoda Kotb?

  So first of all, yay, you're here. I'm here.

• 6:17Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 6:18Hoda Kotb?

  And you were hand-selected when we were talking about guests.

• 6:21Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 6:22Hoda Kotb?

  Because this podcast is called Joy 101.

• 6:24Speaker 04

  Right.

• 6:25Hoda Kotb?

  And I was thinking to myself, who? Who's the joy guy? Who's the guy when he walks in the room, everyone goes, I got.

• 6:32Speaker 04

  Ah, thank you.

• 6:34Hoda Kotb?

  You're that guy. So I do have a question for you about that.

• 6:36Speaker 04

  Yes, okay.

• 6:37Hoda Kotb?

  Is this a, um, I wake up in the morning and automatically, ding, I got it going? Or is this, does it take a little bit to get where you're going?

• 6:47Speaker 04

  I've gotta be awake.

• 6:49Hoda Kotb?

  You gotta be awake.

• 6:49Speaker 04

  I've gotta be awake.

• 6:50Hoda Kotb?

  Okay.

• 6:50Speaker 04

  Like, I always say, there's, there's two sides to my personality.

• 6:55Hoda Kotb?

  Okay.

• 6:55Speaker 04

  There is the going to sleep, waking up, hangry, right? There's that side of Alfonso that is the very real side. And then there's, we walk into the world and in the world, I'm happy. And it's not put on, it's not, it's like, I feel so lucky and blessed.

• 7:19Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 7:19Speaker 04

  That I get to do what I do, still, forty-seven years later. It's amazing to me when I'm, I'm like, I, I, I'm still doing. And I'm happy about it. And I, I appreciate life so much. You know, especially over the last couple of years, having, uh, some, some really dear friends passing. It, it's like you start to really recognize what's important in life. And I've, and that's how I live. My, my kids are everything, my family's everything, right? Like, going and being a baseball dad is some of the greatest joys that I have in my life now.

• 8:01Speaker 04

  Um, watching my kids do things, that's my, so I live in a space of like, true appreciation. So I'm, I'm, I'm joyous because I'm just happy of all the things I could have never written this story.

• 8:15Hoda Kotb?

  I mean, first of all, I I'm kind of admiring everything you're saying because the the admission of I get hangry, I have my house me. And then I step out and there's something about the light, something about all of that coming at you. And you said something else that struck me. You said, you know, you you've lost a couple of friends. I find it so interesting and same with me, like, the world suddenly snaps into focus when you have a loss. You're like bam. Okay, this is priority, this life is short. How how did it affect you? Like, what did it do?

• 8:49Speaker 04

  Um, well, it has affected me deeply, uh, especially James Van De Beek, pass it. You know, priorities, right? Uh, one of the things, I actually had this conversation with my my team this morning as I'm, you know, getting ready for the day. Um, time, right? When you're you're on your deathbed. The one question, the one, the one thing you would ask for is more time.

• 9:20Speaker 04

  And so then I look at the world backwards. So I start at what is it gonna be? What's my life gonna be like at the end? And when I get there, what would I want? What would I ask for? And I would say I'd ask for time. So then what am I doing with it?

• 9:37Hoda Kotb?

  Mm hmm, that's good.

• 9:39Speaker 04

  How am I using it? How am I affecting the people around me with my time? Because it's the only thing you're really gonna ask for at the end is more of it. So why waste it?

• 9:53Hoda Kotb?

  That's so interesting. When, um, you're saying this, it's landing with me too. When I was leaving the Tadation not too long ago. I was thinking about like my time pie. I was like, everyone gets one pie. How are you gonna carve it up?

• 10:07Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 10:07Hoda Kotb?

  You're gonna put like what goes where? What gets priority? What deserves more?

• 10:12Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 10:12Hoda Kotb?

  So what changed? What did you what did you alter?

• 10:15Speaker 04

  Well, family.

• 10:16Hoda Kotb?

  Yep.

• 10:17Speaker 04

  Friends.

• 10:17Hoda Kotb?

  Yep.

• 10:18Speaker 04

  Um, loved ones in all aspects, like my parents, um, time with them. You know, focused time, right? One on one time. Um, that was the, that's the biggest change, right? Telling the people that you care about.

• 10:37Speaker 04

  How you feel.

• 10:38Hoda Kotb?

  That's good.

• 10:38Speaker 04

  So you don't ever, if it ends tomorrow, for either one of us, no one goes away.

• 10:44Hoda Kotb?

  But you told them.

• 10:45Speaker 04

  Thinking about what they could have had. When I was going to see James, um, while he was in his deathbed, literally. You know, we, we had conversations and it was, I said to my wife afterwards, that's what I want when I go. I wanna be surrounded by people that love you, that are there for you, that want what's best for you and everyone around you. That's what I want.

• 11:15Hoda Kotb?

  Wow, wow.

• 11:16Speaker 04

  And so from that day, you can walk around in life going, let's make sure that's available. Let's make sure that ha- that can happen, right? And so live every day, making sure that's a possibility.

• 11:29Hoda Kotb?

  Wow.

• 11:32Hoda Kotb?

  I love that. I love, that was beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

• 11:37Hoda Kotb?

  Okay, so now you're making sense to me. I understand you now. I got your whole vibe.

• 11:42Speaker 04

  Right, right, right.

• 11:42Hoda Kotb?

  Uh, I wanna take it back though, because um, when I think about you, someone had to like pour into you. So who was the optimist when you were a little boy growing up? Was it your mom? Was it your dad? Who was the glass half full, life is beautiful?

• 11:54Speaker 04

  You know, they were, they were, they were all both. It wasn't an individual thing, right? Uh, my dad was my manager, my dad was my best friend, um, when I was starting in the business. And, and you know, my dad would put me on in the front part of the motorcycle. And I would, I would, I would ride to auditions with him, right? And we'd sit at a coffee shop between auditions. And it was always perspective, right? We're lucky to be doing this. We're lucky that we have this time. And of course, when you're a kid, you don't really get it.

• 12:29Hoda Kotb?

  No.

• 12:29Speaker 04

  You don't, it doesn't mean anything until much later, right? But my dad always gave me, you know, logic, right? What's important, you know, priorities. Um, my mom was kinda the same way, but then the love came kinda behind. It was never forward love.

• 12:50Hoda Kotb?

  Interesting.

• 12:51Speaker 04

  It was never, you know, we didn't say I love you a lot. We, that wasn't our relationship, right, my parents. But. I understood that there was love.

• 13:01Hoda Kotb?

  How did you know, like as a kid you need to know?

• 13:03Speaker 04

  Just in your heart. Right, um, James, I go back to James a lot because we have such, we had so many great incredible conversations. He used to say to me, your brain takes credit for all the things your heart does. He goes, you live your life with your heart. It's like, but your brain takes credit. And when he said that to me, it became so true because I live my life with my heart. This tells me everything I need to know. Get this out of the way and listen. This will tell you.

• 13:35Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 13:36Speaker 04

  Right, your brain has ego, your brain has, you know, history and, and damage and, you know, you know, all of that. But your heart doesn't. It just leads you and I just knew it. I always knew that I was loved. I knew that I had love. I knew that, that my parents, the things that they gave up in their lives.

• 13:54Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 13:55Speaker 04

  For me to have my life is love. There's nothing more than love.

• 14:00Hoda Kotb?

  You know, it's so funny. I just interviewed this woman about this topic and she said so many people say, oh, my parents never said they love me. And so, oh my God, I'm seeking it my whole life. And she said, saying it is not necessarily the only way to show love, like when they picked you up. When they brought you X, Y, and Z. And I think sometimes we all forget. It's like, but I never got the words. It's like sometimes show don't tell, like they have their own language.

• 14:28Speaker 04

  Words are words.

• 14:29Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 14:30Speaker 04

  It doesn't mean anything unless the substance is behind it.

• 14:34Hoda Kotb?

  Yes, right, show me.

• 14:35Speaker 04

  You can tell me you love me all the time. There's a lot of people who tell me they love me.

• 14:38Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 14:38Speaker 04

  I walk down the street, we love you. Do you?

• 14:42Hoda Kotb?

  Probably, yeah.

• 14:43Speaker 04

  You really love me, right? Do we really understand love if we're saying that? You know, I get it. We really like you. I take that. That can be real. But no, you don't love me. You love an idea of me. You don't love me, right? But, but my family loves me. Right? And, and, and I know that deep down and they don't ever have to say it. Now, because I didn't hear it all the time, I say it all the time.

• 15:11Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah, I understand.

• 15:12Speaker 04

  But I could say it or not say it and I don't think that would change how my kids feel about how I feel about them, right?

• 15:20Hoda Kotb?

  Who was the first person who told you you were talented and you believed it?

• 15:26Speaker 04

  My grandmother.

• 15:29Hoda Kotb?

  Hmm.

• 15:30Speaker 04

  My grandmother, um, on my dad's side. Uh, her name was Mumsy, as we called her. And she was a Rikers Island police officer. Hard as can be, right? Um, wealthy in a time when we didn't have wealth. You know, for, for people like that. And she had a daughter who was on a show called Laugh-In. Um, so my aunt was on Laugh-In. My grandfather was a calypso singer. Um, so she knew what talent looked like. And she would say, "You have it. You have that thing."

• 16:15Speaker 04

  And I, and she would always be, "I'm so proud." And I just, you know, all the, all the, all the rest of it.

• 16:22Hoda Kotb?

  But you believed that.

• 16:23Speaker 04

  But I was like, I believed it.

• 16:24Hoda Kotb?

  Wow.

• 16:25Speaker 04

  I believed it. I was probably four or five.

• 16:28Hoda Kotb?

  And what did she see? Like dancing, singing?

• 16:30Speaker 04

  So I would just, I would sing. I'd be singing all the time.

• 16:33Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 16:34Speaker 04

  Just.

• 16:35Hoda Kotb?

  Anything.

• 16:35Speaker 04

  Just, yes. My mom was the singer, really, in the house. But like, I, I would sing all the time. Um, I'd be moving all the time. I don't know what we call it, dancing. Um, now I would say just moving. It wasn't really dancing. Um, I would, I would, voices and characters and like, I was all of that in my, in my youth. So like, and, and so I would say, she was the first person that I believed it. And then my dad was the one that cultivated it.

• 17:01Hoda Kotb?

  Okay. Cause he, he had the structure, the discipline, the, you know, you gotta have work ethic, all that kinda stuff. This is how we're gonna get there.

• 17:07Speaker 04

  This is what we're doing.

• 17:08Hoda Kotb?

  I think we spend so much of our lives waiting for the big moments. The birthdays, the vacations, the milestones. But the truth is, some of the happiest moments show up on the most ordinary days. So like this, I'll stop into a CVS because I need one thing. Somehow, the best part of the trip is never the thing I came for. So maybe I'll grab a delicious well-marked snack. Or maybe I'll wander over to the Joyward Collection. It's really full of fun. Seasonal decor, thoughtful little gifts, and those little discoveries that make you so glad you stopped in. I have to tell you, if you're an Extra Care member, you're going to save on things you're already buying, and those extra bucks really do add up.

• 17:52Hoda Kotb?

  Just watching that total go down at the checkout never, ever gets old. I know, life's busy. We're all juggling a lot. And that's why I think those little unexpected moments of joy matter so much. So, the next time you're running errands, stop by your local CVS Pharmacy. You may go in for something you need, but don't be surprised if you leave with something that simply makes your day a little brighter. Visit your local CVS Pharmacy, sponsored by CVS. Halloween has a funny way of making you buy things you'd never normally buy. A 10-foot skeleton? Sure. A full-size fog machine? Why not? Three bags of candy that somehow become six bags of candy? It happens. Which brings me to the Chase Freedom Flex Card,

• 18:37Hoda Kotb?

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• 19:20Hoda Kotb?

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• 19:23Speaker 03

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• 19:53Hoda Kotb?

  Alright, so Tap Dance Kid, you on Broadway.

• 19:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:57Hoda Kotb?

  I mean, a kid, what were you, twelve, thirteen?

• 19:58Speaker 04

  I was, I was eleven when I got the role.

• 20:01Hoda Kotb?

  Jeez.

• 20:01Speaker 04

  Um, and I didn't tap dance.

• 20:04Hoda Kotb?

  What?

• 20:04Speaker 04

  So I didn't, I wasn't a tap dancer. I'd never tap danced in my life. And they hired me to be the Tap Dance Kid. And they taught me to tap dance for a year.

• 20:14Hoda Kotb?

  Okay, that's insane.

• 20:16Speaker 04

  And then we opened on Broadway, I was twelve, in nineteen eighty-three.

• 20:20Hoda Kotb?

  What's the day in the life of a twelve-year-old on Broadway? Just give me one single day of what it was like.

• 20:24Speaker 04

  Well, I would, I would say I had the hardest schedule in show business. Because, I'll just give you a Tuesday.

• 20:31Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah, give it.

• 20:32Speaker 04

  Um, I wake up at seven, have breakfast, be at school by eight, go to school till three, get home, do homework, study, have some food, maybe take a quick nap, relax for a second, get picked up at six, right, oh, sorry, that's Wednesday. Tuesday, I would go half-day, and then I would leave at, at, at eleven-thirty, get to the theater by twelve, onstage at one, to do a matinee, then, time to eat, show at eight, off at eleven,

• 21:13Speaker 04

  home by midnight, asleep by one, up again the next day. And the, and the, and the kicker is, Sundays, they would be off after the matinee and have Monday off, but I still went to school on Monday.

• 21:29Hoda Kotb?

  I cannot believe you did that as a kid.

• 21:31Speaker 04

  So my schedule never stopped.

• 21:32Hoda Kotb?

  How did you, I mean, now for kids, we, we, you know, it's like, we're always worried, like, is that, are you too tired? You didn't get your twelve hours sleep? I mean...

• 21:40Speaker 04

  I was sick a lot.

• 21:41Hoda Kotb?

  Were you?

• 21:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:42Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 21:42Speaker 04

  I was sick a lot. It was, it was a, they ended up taking me out of the matinees and letting my understudy do the matinees, about halfway through my run, because I was constantly sick.

• 21:52Hoda Kotb?

  Did you enjoy, were you loving it, or were you, was it just a grind?

• 21:56Speaker 04

  I loved moments.

• 21:57Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 21:58Speaker 04

  I enjoyed most of it.

• 22:00Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 22:01Speaker 04

  I recognized how hard it was. So when I went to television, I thought television was a joke.

• 22:06Hoda Kotb?

  Oh, because it was like lazy people.

• 22:10Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 22:11Speaker 04

  Really? We're gonna spend five days working on this?

• 22:15Hoda Kotb?

  Is this how it's really gonna go?

• 22:17Speaker 04

  I'm done it. It's, it's 3:30 at the time.

• 22:20Hoda Kotb?

  I mean, all these opportunities kept coming to you, though. I mean, you were obviously, again, I think it's your discipline, your, you, I mean, you worked for everything, but Silver Spoon, Fresh Prince, did you just keep getting things, or in between were there rejections that I didn't get? Oh, there were? Okay, I didn't read about those. What do you got? What happened?

• 22:41Speaker 04

  I mean, ton of them, right? Like, the, I, the life of an actor is, your job is to audition. Your bonus is getting the job. So, you audition for a hundred things, you get one, you are successful.

• 23:04Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 23:05Speaker 04

  Like, you are killing it if you get one out of a hundred, right? That's 99 rejections. It's 99 times someone said, "Yeah, not good enough." Which is just the life, right? So you get used to people telling you that we don't like you.

• 23:20Hoda Kotb?

  Wow.

• 23:21Speaker 04

  Right? Like, that's, someone says they don't like me, I go get in line.

• 23:26Speaker 04

  I mean, what do you mean? Why does that affect me, right? And especially now in this age of social media where people tell you they don't like you all the time, and you, you read it, and I've always said, actually had this conversation with one of my Dancing with the Stars, um, friends, uh, last night. I'm like, why would you give the devil an open communication with your heart?

• 23:52Hoda Kotb?

  Ooh.

• 23:54Speaker 04

  Why would you let them have communication with your heart? Don't read it. Don't care, right?

• 24:01Hoda Kotb?

  Right.

• 24:01Speaker 04

  So rejection for me is so?

• 24:05Speaker 04

  It doesn't mean anything. That's not important to me. What you think of me isn't important to me.

• 24:10Hoda Kotb?

  Right.

• 24:10Speaker 04

  What does my kids think? What does my wife think? What do my parents think? What do my friends think? That's important. I literally said, if I said these things to you, it should mean something.

• 24:20Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 24:20Speaker 04

  Because I'm your friend. I don't care about your success, I care about you. When I say, hey, how are you doing, I'm not just saying those words, I mean it. How are you?

• 24:30Hoda Kotb?

  When you talked about the 99 rejections and getting one, why didn't, after multiple rejections, why didn't you just say, you know what? Some things aren't meant to be.

• 24:41Speaker 04

  Because that's, that's just what it is.

• 24:43Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 24:44Speaker 04

  Right? That's the life of an actor.

• 24:45Hoda Kotb?

  Even as a kid.

• 24:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:46Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 24:46Speaker 04

  It's just, you go for them. And, and, and for me, the audition was the fun process.

• 24:52Hoda Kotb?

  Oh, that's good.

• 24:53Speaker 04

  That was, you know, I mean, at the end of the day, let's keep it real. It meant I left school early. I got out of school early to go on a motorcycle ride with my dad into the city to go perform for a bunch of people in a room and then maybe sit at a little coffee shop and have some food, maybe some ice cream. I even drank coffee back then, it was crazy. I don't, I don't drink it now much, but, but that was fun. The process was fun. So I didn't look at getting the job as the end-all, it was more of the process.

• 25:24Hoda Kotb?

  Carlton in Fresh Prince was a role that I don't think anyone imagined being as big as it was.

• 25:30Speaker 04

  No one could.

• 25:31Hoda Kotb?

  I mean, did, did it become as big as it was because of something you designed? How did that role turn into something that became part of the culture?

• 25:42Speaker 04

  I, I think, so, going deep for a second, which I never do.

• 25:50Speaker 04

  Carlton was a character that black people could laugh at white people, but not laugh at a white person.

• 26:02Speaker 04

  It was a character that white people could laugh at themselves without seeing themselves being laughed at. So it allowed people to be comfortable with the corny white guy without anyone feeling insulted.

• 26:20Speaker 04

  And laughing at it and feeling like, oh, I know that guy. I laugh at that guy. That kid's in my school. Yeah, he's smart, but he's not cool, right? Or you're laughing at something that exists in society, but no one gets offended.

• 26:34Hoda Kotb?

  Isn't that funny that you don't really go that deep to think about it? You just think, I know that guy. I get his vibe.

• 26:41Speaker 04

  Yes, but there's only positive.

• 26:43Hoda Kotb?

  Yes.

• 26:44Speaker 04

  So there's no negative reaction to you're laughing at him, laughing with him. You know, all of that, there's no negative to it. So he created a space in television where we could laugh at ourselves in society, but also laugh at that character. And they wrote him very funny, obviously. But that to me is what I believe was the reason that character for decades has such impact.

• 27:14Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah, I mean, no one forgets that.

• 27:16Speaker 04

  Right.

• 27:17Hoda Kotb?

  Was that one of your most joyful chapters, do you think, Fresh Prince?

• 27:21Speaker 04

  I'm living my most joyful chapter.

• 27:23Hoda Kotb?

  Boom!

• 27:25Speaker 04

  So it was a great time. I loved every minute of it. They were family, right? Everybody on Fresh Prince, that's family. But I'm living it now, and I'm living it because there is,

• 27:42Speaker 04

  there's both sides, right? I'm the most successful I've ever been, career-wise. And I'm the happiest I've ever been in life. So I'm living it right now. But those Fresh Prince days were incredible. Going to set every day, being with Will and James and Karen and Tatiana and Janet and Daphne and Joe. Those times were just incredible, right? What we were building, what we were doing. Um, the way we worked together, the way we supported one another uh was very special. And it's part of why I don't really act anymore.

• 28:23Hoda Kotb?

  Hmm.

• 28:23Speaker 04

  Because that'll never be achieved again.

• 28:26Hoda Kotb?

  Why?

• 28:26Speaker 04

  That kind of joy, that kind of love, that kind of support, um, that kind of creative magic. That it's just, it's so hard for that to happen. It would feel like everything else becomes a letdown.

• 28:40Hoda Kotb?

  Hmm.

• 28:41Speaker 04

  So now I get to just be me.

• 28:44Speaker 04

  And it's not a letdown because I can be me.

• 28:45Hoda Kotb?

  So if someone knocked on the door and said, Alfonso, I got a role for you, you gotta read for it.

• 28:51Speaker 04

  Well.

• 28:51Hoda Kotb?

  Would you?

• 28:52Speaker 04

  I wouldn't.

• 28:53Hoda Kotb?

  You would not? Oh, you wouldn't read?

• 28:57Hoda Kotb?

  I'm done reading.

• 28:58Speaker 04

  No, no, no, I wouldn't read.

• 28:59Hoda Kotb?

  No, thank you.

• 29:00Speaker 04

  We're not, we're not, no.

• 29:01Hoda Kotb?

  You wouldn't read for it?

• 29:02Speaker 04

  We're not, we're not asking for the job. I got, I got, I got three of them.

• 29:05Hoda Kotb?

  Okay, alright.

• 29:06Speaker 04

  But I would, if, if the itch, if the itch started itching.

• 29:13Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 29:13Speaker 04

  Um, I would absolutely, um, I would look at it.

• 29:18Hoda Kotb?

  Hmm.

• 29:18Speaker 04

  Um, the desire is not there.

• 29:20Hoda Kotb?

  Hmm.

• 29:21Speaker 04

  Um, the need isn't there. Um, because I'm, I'm doing everything I love to do. And, and the difference is, is that I'm doing shows that allow me to still have balance in my life with my family. Right? Um, we've talked about like, if a job came up here in New York, would you do it? And the answer was no. Like that just flat out, no, I wouldn't do unless it was very short. I wouldn't do a New York gig because I don't want to raise my kids here.

• 29:49Hoda Kotb?

  Mm hmm.

• 29:50Speaker 04

  Right? So now when my kids are old enough and they move on and they're doing their lives, you know, independent of mine. Anything's possible, right? Can my wife and I move to New York for a little bit to do something? Of course. But like, the idea of, you know, me getting in the car, telling the boys, hey, you gotta be ready by three twenty. We got baseball practice.

• 30:11Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:12Speaker 04

  Right? Getting out of my work clothes or whatever clothes I'm, you know, and then hopping on and just taking the kids and spending time and talking about the game and life and how their day was and getting there and watching them perform and, you know, watching my daughter. Um, she just won state um in gymnastics in California. She's incredible.

• 30:31Hoda Kotb?

  Holy, holy.

• 30:32Speaker 04

  That wouldn't really exist here in New York City.

• 30:36Hoda Kotb?

  Are you, you talked about your dad, are you, what things from parenting did you take from your dad? And what things did you leave behind and say, I'm not doing that?

• 30:44Speaker 04

  Well, I would, you know, I'm definitely more, I share more of my emotion with my kids. They see all sides, right? They see crazy dad, they see happy dad, they see loving dad, they see all of it.

• 31:04Speaker 04

  I saw it all, but it was less, but I, but, but really, what I took from what my dad did was my dad gave me his time.

• 31:14Speaker 04

  Gave me his presence and he was there and he was listening and he was involved. And that to me was the gift that I get to give back to my children is being there. Listening, being truly part of their lives, because you don't get the time back. You know, I've got an older daughter from a first marriage and I wasn't there. Right? I didn't give her the time. I didn't, I wasn't, I wasn't really part of her upbringing in the way that, that I would have wanted to. And because of that, I'm like, I am not making that mistake again.

• 31:57Speaker 04

  And so what I've learned ultimately was be there.

• 32:01Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah, I love it. Let's talk about repotting because you have, you know, this great career in acting. Obviously, everyone's, you know, knows your name, the Carl, by the way, do people still ask you to do the dance?

• 32:13Speaker 04

  Absolutely, absolutely.

• 32:13Hoda Kotb?

  How many times a day do you get asked to do the Carlton?

• 32:15Speaker 04

  If I go outside in public, it's gonna happen at least a hundred times.

• 32:18Hoda Kotb?

  Okay, and do you ever do it?

• 32:20Speaker 04

  Not a chance, not a chance, no chance. I was like, it's so much better on YouTube.

• 32:26Hoda Kotb?

  Just watch that.

• 32:27Speaker 04

  Just watch it there, watch it there.

• 32:28Hoda Kotb?

  Does it bother you to be so directly connected to that singular moment?

• 32:34Speaker 04

  There was a time when I absolutely hated it.

• 32:41Speaker 04

  You know, time, age, wisdom.

• 32:44Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 32:44Speaker 04

  Gives you perspective.

• 32:45Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 32:46Speaker 04

  Now, what I'm able to understand is

• 32:51Speaker 04

  they're asking me to continue to bring them joy with something that I have already created. It's not an insult. It's not, they're letting you know that at the end of the day, you bring me joy. That brought me joy. And when I see you, I can only think of the joy you brought me, and I would love to have more.

• 33:15Hoda Kotb?

  Wow.

• 33:16Speaker 04

  So I've, I have the perspective now.

• 33:18Hoda Kotb?

  That's beautiful, by the way. That's beautiful. I love that. I love that. So the repotting piece, which is hard for people to redirect a career, anybody.

• 33:26Speaker 04

  Right.

• 33:27Hoda Kotb?

  Because when you repot, you like pull yourself up by the roots. You're dangling in the air. Oh, where, where am I gonna go?

• 33:33Speaker 04

  Right.

• 33:34Hoda Kotb?

  And then you, fortunately, got planted in like nutrient-rich soil. Like, you just came alive. Did you imagine that this next chapter, which has involved all of this, all these cool TV gigs,

• 33:49Speaker 04

  Right.

• 33:50Hoda Kotb?

  was to come to pass? And did it surprise you as it was all kind of unfolding?

• 33:55Speaker 04

  Never would have expected it. Right? I never would have expected me not acting. Right? Like, that's, that's what I was. I was an actor. That's all I, I knew myself as that.

• 34:05Speaker 04

  And my manager, Conrad Lay, he just was like, there's, there's other spaces for you. You are uniquely qualified for other things that we don't have to just worry about whether you're getting another role. Right? And for a while, it was directing. Right? Like, I've directed over a hundred and twenty-five episodes of television.

• 34:28Hoda Kotb?

  Oh, really?

• 34:30Speaker 04

  People don't really know that.

• 34:31Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah, what, which, like, give me, give me a little.

• 34:33Speaker 04

  Well, it was, it was, uh, In the House. That was All of Us. I was, um, I did an episode of Fresh Prince. I did a bunch of Tyler Perry stuff.

• 34:42Hoda Kotb?

  Uh huh.

• 34:42Speaker 04

  I did Are We There Yet.

• 34:44Hoda Kotb?

  Wow.

• 34:44Speaker 04

  A bunch of episodes for that, um, so all over the place, right? A bunch of Disney shows.

• 34:48Hoda Kotb?

  Mm hmm.

• 34:48Speaker 04

  Um, UPN, you know, WB, a bunch of the, and so I did, I did all, you know, all I, I got to work with Zendaya when she was just a child.

• 34:56Hoda Kotb?

  Oh my god, how fun.

• 34:57Speaker 04

  You know, and she was incredible.

• 34:58Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 34:59Speaker 04

  And, um, and so I, I had a beautiful career doing that. I never would have thought of that, but my manager was like.

• 35:04Hoda Kotb?

  Try that.

• 35:05Speaker 04

  This is what I think you'd be great at. And I'd gone to film school.

• 35:08Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 35:08Speaker 04

  But I still was like, you know, I mean.

• 35:10Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 35:10Speaker 04

  Who's gonna hire me as a director, really? And, you know, and that became a really incredible time for me.

• 35:15Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 35:16Speaker 04

  While the rebranding or repotting.

• 35:19Hoda Kotb?

  Mm hmm.

• 35:20Speaker 04

  Could bear fruit, right? Being me, being not that guy. And then the opportunity to do Dancing with the Stars fell into my life.

• 35:30Hoda Kotb?

  Did you always wanna do that?

• 35:31Speaker 04

  Absolutely, from day one.

• 35:32Hoda Kotb?

  Really?

• 35:33Speaker 04

  From season one. It took till season nineteen.

• 35:36Hoda Kotb?

  Holy moly. So what, you, were you knocking on their door?

• 35:38Speaker 04

  All the time. Deena Katz and I became friends before I was on the show. Hey, Deena. How's it looking? It's not looking good. Not looking good. There was, there was a person at the network.

• 35:53Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 35:53Speaker 04

  That did not want me on the show.

• 35:55Hoda Kotb?

  Oh, please.

• 35:55Speaker 04

  And, um, and when that person was no longer at the network.

• 35:59Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah, you got on.

• 36:00Speaker 04

  The opportunity for me to do the show was that season, right after she.

• 36:03Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 36:03Speaker 04

  That person.

• 36:04Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 36:04Speaker 04

  Was, um, was, was, moved on.

• 36:07Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 36:08Speaker 04

  And that changed my life because after I won the season, I sat in the office of Rob Mills, who runs Unscripted for ABC. And he was like, alright, what do you wanna do?

• 36:19Hoda Kotb?

  Wow.

• 36:20Speaker 04

  And there was a picture of Tom Burge run on the wall, and I was like, that. And he's like, you mean you, you don't wanna do like another sitcom? I was like, no, no. I spent my whole life.

• 36:30Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 36:30Speaker 04

  Trying to get away from a character where people could see me as me.

• 36:35Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 36:36Speaker 04

  I did three and a half months on this show, showing people the real me.

• 36:41Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 36:42Speaker 04

  And they approved. Why are we going back?

• 36:46Hoda Kotb?

  Well done.

• 36:47Speaker 04

  To being someone else again. Let's just be, keep being me. This is working. And then AFE, and now Dancing with the Stars as host.

• 36:54Hoda Kotb?

  So, America's Funniest Videos, to have Tom Bergeron, by the way, choose you.

• 36:58Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 36:59Hoda Kotb?

  To have a mentor like him. I mean, what did that mean and what was the relationship like?

• 37:05Speaker 04

  Well, he, you know, obviously doing, I did dancing. And he turned to me, maybe the quarterfinals or something like that. And he goes, you know, I'm leaving America's Funniest Home Videos. And I've made the decision to, to no longer do this. And I think you're the guy to replace me. And I was like, he must have died. Oh my God, what? What are you talking about? Like, oh my God. Um, and he was like, I'm gonna talk to the producers and the network and, and really let them know that I think you would be incredible. And I was like, thank you. Wow.

• 37:45Speaker 04

  And so, when the opportunity came and I met with them and I had the meeting with Rob Mills and met with Vin DeBona and did a screen test and the whole bit. And I was like, well, what, what should I do? Like, how, like, how should I approach this? He said, I've already, you already know what to do. Just be you.

• 38:04Hoda Kotb?

  Oh gosh.

• 38:05Speaker 04

  Just do you.

• 38:07Speaker 04

  Right? And so, that kind of validation for me, allowed me to walk onto that stage with a confidence that, you know, we always walk in with a little bit of like, am I, am I right? Is it gonna be good? Like, what do I need to do? Like, you overthink it, right? And I was able to walk in and go, I'm just gonna do it? Maybe that's enough? I don't know, but I'm just gonna do it. Tom already told me that's all I need to do.

• 38:33Hoda Kotb?

  I love it.

• 38:34Speaker 04

  Right? And, and then when I got the show, I went to the writers and I said, look. The audience already loves this show, right? I don't think we should do anything different. I want you to write the episode no different than you would write it for Tom. But it will be different because I'm doing it.

• 38:59Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 38:59Speaker 04

  Because I'm not Tom. I can't do what Tom does. I do what I do. There might be similarities, but it'll be different.

• 39:04Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 39:04Speaker 04

  But we don't have to write it differently. Because the audience, if it feels different to them, they're gonna be like, "Ah, I don't know."

• 39:10Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 39:11Speaker 04

  Been watching this too long to have something new come into our house, right? And they don't know the backstory that Tom said he was leaving and they don't know all that. They just know that Tom's not there, this guy is now there.

• 39:23Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 39:23Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 39:24Hoda Kotb?

  What's going on here?

• 39:25Speaker 04

  I want it to feel the same.

• 39:26Hoda Kotb?

  God, that's so smart.

• 39:28Speaker 04

  And so they wrote every episode the same, and then as time went along, then they started to slightly write it differently more for me. But the transition had already been made.

• 39:36Hoda Kotb?

  I think we spend so much of our lives waiting for the big moments. The birthdays, the vacations, the milestones. But the truth is, some of the happiest moments show up on the most ordinary days. So like this, I'll stop into a CVS because I need one thing. Somehow, the best part of the trip is never the thing I came for. So maybe I'll grab a delicious well-market snack, or maybe I'll wander over to the Joyward Collection. It's really full of fun, cool, seasonal decor, thoughtful little gifts, and those little discoveries that make you so glad you stopped in. I have to tell you, if you're an Extra Care member, you're gonna save on things you're already buying, and those extra bucks really do add up.

• 40:20Hoda Kotb?

  Just watching that total go down at the checkout never, ever gets old. I know life's busy, we're all juggling a lot, and that's why I think those little unexpected moments of joy matter so much. So, the next time you're running errands, stop by your local CVS pharmacy. You may go in for something you need, but don't be surprised if you leave with something that simply makes your day a little brighter. Visit your local CVS pharmacy, sponsored by CVS.

• 40:51Hoda Kotb?

  Making you buy things you'd never normally buy. A 10-foot skeleton? Sure. A full-size fog machine? Why not? Three bags of candy that somehow become six bags of candy? It happens. Which brings me to the Chase Freedom Flex Card. The savvy decision that will earn you more cash back on the everyday purchases, plus the extraordinary Halloween tricks and treats. With Freedom Flex, you earn even more treats on your Halloween and everyday needs. You get 5% cash back on popular rotating quarterly categories, 3% on dining and drugstores, and 1% on all other purchases. More ways to earn, more ways to get rewarded. That's no tricks, all treats. More ways to earn, more ways to get rewarded.

• 41:35Hoda Kotb?

  So, sign up for the Chase Freedom Flex Card. Learn more at chase.com/getflex. This is a paid collaboration with Chase Freedom Flex. Cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank, N.A. Member FDIC. Subject to credit approval. Offer subject to change. Terms apply.

• 41:52Speaker 03

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• 42:22Hoda Kotb?

  So, this, you said, this chapter, doing all these amazing things. Hosting Dancing with the Stars. You're at up-fronts. You're like front and center everywhere. I mean, you had this crescendo with Fresh Prince. And sometimes when you're at the top of the wave, you're like, it's not going to get better.

• 42:39Speaker 04

  Right.

• 42:40Hoda Kotb?

  But you're on a different wave, and it got better.

• 42:42Speaker 04

  And it got better.

• 42:43Hoda Kotb?

  I mean, that's...

• 42:43Speaker 04

  Higher high.

• 42:44Hoda Kotb?

  That's pretty astonishing. How do you see it playing out? Or do you just, are you the kind of guy who's like, let's keep on rolling?

• 42:50Speaker 04

  Keep going.

• 42:51Hoda Kotb?

  Keep going. Okay.

• 42:52Speaker 04

  I say, you know, I'm Dory. Right? Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. And that's, and that's literally how I live each day of work. Just keep doing it. And where it ends, it ends.

• 43:06Hoda Kotb?

  That is.

• 43:06Speaker 04

  And just, just keep swimming.

• 43:08Hoda Kotb?

  That's, that's beautiful.

• 43:09Speaker 04

  Just keep going. Well, I mean, y- y- you can't know the future. You can't predict the future. And typically, anytime you try to influence the future, you influence it the wrong way.

• 43:19Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 43:20Speaker 04

  Just let it happen. Um, I believe that the story is already written.

• 43:27Speaker 04

  Anything you do can maybe change it, but that doesn't mean change is good. It's already written. Just let it happen. Let it happen. Just don't get in its way, right? Don't, don't do something that, that changes your destiny from the beautiful destination that I believe I'm destined to achieve by doing something. Just keep swimming.

• 43:55Hoda Kotb?

  You know, it's so interesting. There's that, you know, the, um, the nursery rhyme, it's like row, row, row your boat. Like, I spent a ton of my career, like, I felt like I was swimming upstream. I was trying. I'm like, if I just work harder, it's gonna get easier. And it wasn't getting easier. And all of a sudden, this was at Dateline when I was in all those kinda scary places. But I was listening to that row, row, row your boat, and it's like row, row, row your boat gently down. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. And sometimes when you're in flow, I can tell you're totally in flow. Like, this is so good.

• 44:28Speaker 04

  Right.

• 44:29Hoda Kotb?

  But when you are, it feels like a rush. And when you're pushing and thinking, if I work harder, if I'm more optimistic, if I just try harder.

• 44:37Speaker 04

  Right.

• 44:37Hoda Kotb?

  Like, getting out of that and finding like your bliss. It sounds like you hit it.

• 44:42Speaker 04

  Yes. I, I, working hard. First of all, I don't think I can work harder.

• 44:48Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah, no, you can't.

• 44:49Speaker 04

  Right? Now, I can put more hours in, right? I can take hours away from my life and put it into work. But does that really make anything better? And in my life, success isn't defined by my work. Success is defined by my heart. And if my heart is happy, then I'm successful. And if it's not, then I'm not.

• 45:16Hoda Kotb?

  That's it.

• 45:17Speaker 04

  And that has nothing to do with what I'm achieving in my career goals. It's life goals, right? We're put here to go through life. Not to go through work. Work can be part of it. But it's not all of it.

• 45:34Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 45:34Speaker 04

  So. So I row, row, row my belt gently down the stream. The water's already going in that direction.

• 45:42Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 45:42Speaker 04

  We're all moving together.

• 45:43Hoda Kotb?

  We're all going.

• 45:44Speaker 04

  Now, can I speed it up a little bit? Sure. Come on, speed up a little bit. I gotta catch up a little bit, let's speed up a little bit. I'm a race car driver, I can't help myself. Right, so, you know, but that doesn't mean we have to.

• 45:55Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 45:55Speaker 04

  Have to like get into it, start paddling and we're gonna do this. Just be prepared, right? Last season, um, before dancing started, I started taking dance lessons again. Right? Now, there was a joy that I found taking the classes. But it was also like, let's just be prepared for the job. Right? They asked me to dance every once in a while now on the show. So it's not like, hey, who, you know, like, no, no, no.

• 46:22Hoda Kotb?

  I gotta know how to do this.

• 46:22Speaker 04

  I gotta, I gotta remember how to do this.

• 46:24Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:25Speaker 04

  Right? And so I, I have spent.

• 46:27Hoda Kotb?

  Prepare.

• 46:28Speaker 04

  I mean, you know, be ready, be ready for the opportunity. Right? Will Smith used to always say to me, don't get ready, be ready.

• 46:34Hoda Kotb?

  Don't get ready, be ready.

• 46:35Speaker 04

  Right.

• 46:36Hoda Kotb?

  Oh, that's good.

• 46:37Speaker 04

  And so I spend my life being ready and not getting ready. So, but, but only on the things that I enjoy. So if I don't enjoy it, what am I getting ready for?

• 46:50Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah. I love it.

• 46:52Speaker 04

  Right?

• 46:52Hoda Kotb?

  Let's talk about love, cause you, you know, that's your, that's, that's your sweet spot. You found the girl, you got the family. What, I mean, finding a, a life partner, finding the, the soul connection.

• 47:06Speaker 04

  Right.

• 47:06Hoda Kotb?

  I mean, describe what she means in your world.

• 47:10Speaker 04

  I will start with the day that she let me know that I was the one.

• 47:20Speaker 04

  So the movie Eat, Pray, Love.

• 47:22Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 47:24Speaker 04

  The medicine man. She went and saw that person for real.

• 47:28Hoda Kotb?

  Oh.

• 47:30Speaker 04

  In Asia. And he said to her that you will find your soulmate when you meet the person that has your same birthmark.

• 47:46Speaker 04

  So we start dating. And deep into our dating life. She sees my birthmark. And flips. And I'm like, what did I do? Right, I'm like, what? But she was uncomfortable saying what she was about to say, because it was like. And then a month or so later, she was like, remember when?

• 48:11Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 48:12Speaker 04

  She was like, this guy told me that my soulmate has my same birthmark.

• 48:18Hoda Kotb?

  I can't.

• 48:19Speaker 04

  Look here.

• 48:21Speaker 04

  And it's identical, same spot, same shape, same everything.

• 48:27Hoda Kotb?

  I have chills. That's crazy.

• 48:30Speaker 04

  And I thought that was crazy, for real, when, when she said it. But then as life has continued to move on. Wow, is that true? Right, like, she is my other half. And we complement each other in life in the best ways possible. And you're never really ready for that when it comes to you. But the earlier you can appreciate it, the better it will be. And, you know, she's the mother of three of my children. And like, we are together.

• 49:13Speaker 04

  And we spend our time together. And, you know, she is my biggest fan, supporter, partner. Everything that I could ever want in a partner, she is. She's an incredible mom, she takes care of the kids, she's, she's a superwoman.

• 49:34Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah, well, you, it sounds like everything is firing. I get why this is your chapter.

• 49:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:39Hoda Kotb?

  I get why this is your moment. Let's close with, you know, look, there are people who are seeking joy. There are people who are trying to, they feel like it's elusive. And I do think it's a choice, I don't think you just get it or don't have it.

• 49:50Speaker 04

  Yes, yes.

• 49:51Hoda Kotb?

  But for someone who's lived all these chapters, if you were going to help someone who's kind of saying like, I feel like joy is out of reach. What would, what would be any advice, anything that might help someone who's seeking?

• 50:07Speaker 04

  I'd start with the word that that jumped into my head. There's two words that jumped in my head. Obviously, empathy, right?

• 50:18Speaker 04

  When you create empathy for the world, you have the ability to feel what others are going through, right? And

• 50:36Speaker 04

  when you have that, I believe it puts things in perspective, right? There is no such thing as perfect. It doesn't exist, right? We love our Disney movies, but that, those are fairy tales. In real life, there's good and there's bad, right? I believe in, in life, the yin and the yang, right? For all good that comes, bad has to equal it.

• 51:10Speaker 04

  How do you see it?

• 51:13Speaker 04

  How do you choose to see the bad?

• 51:19Speaker 04

  I've seen many people say,

• 51:22Speaker 04

  when something negative happens, it's an opportunity. You're not a victim of it. It's an opportunity, an opportunity to learn, opportunity to grow, right? You don't grow in success. You grow in failure. So if you can view failure

• 51:41Speaker 04

  and things that are not perfect as an opportunity, when the good happens, you will see it in a joyful way and not see it negatively because you're living in that negative.

• 51:57Hoda Kotb?

  I was just picturing you with James. What could have been like the most depressing and horrible and it was terribly sad. However.

• 52:06Speaker 04

  However.

• 52:07Hoda Kotb?

  You came out with all these jewels and gems and ways to change your life.

• 52:12Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 52:12Hoda Kotb?

  I mean, that's like personified.

• 52:14Speaker 04

  James and his wife Kimberly and all the kids have impacted my life in a way that um could never really truly be understood by others. And and that ability to have joy and appreciation and the wisdom that man was had wisdom. He'll never be fully appreciated for the man that he is and and the same for Kimberly. She's still with us, of course, so she will have an opportunity to continue to share um that kind of wisdom, but it did, it gave me a perspective.

• 52:47Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah. Well, I just want to say one thing, I love how you live your life.

• 52:52Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 52:52Hoda Kotb?

  I love the way you view the world and I'm so happier on this podcast, Joy 101, man. It's so you.

• 53:01Speaker 04

  Thank you for handpicking me.

• 53:02Hoda Kotb?

  Of course.

• 53:02Speaker 04

  I'm so happy. When I, I will say when, when, when the, when the, the ask came across, I don't do podcasts.

• 53:10Hoda Kotb?

  You don't? It's not your thing?

• 53:11Speaker 04

  I just. Well, 90% of podcasts are clickbait.

• 53:15Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 53:16Speaker 04

  That they're looking for

• 53:19Speaker 04

  that moment.

• 53:20Hoda Kotb?

  Yeah.

• 53:20Speaker 04

  And I was like, this is one that I know is not about that, it's about, and, and Joy 101 is, is everything and I couldn't be more happy that you've asked me and that I got to be able to do this with you, it was um, it's a true honor.

• 53:36Hoda Kotb?

  Thank you, love you, honey.

• 53:37Speaker 04

  Love you.

• 53:39Hoda Kotb?

  Okay, so as we wrap up today, um, I'm a huge quote person, I love a quote, I love a poem, they stick with me, so Joanna Gaines helped me redo my office for our company Joy 101 and I, it was like just a few weeks ago that I was walking through the office and in one of the places on a bulletin board was a poem that was left behind that Joanna and her team left behind for me and I didn't see it. And this poem is so moving, I'm just gonna read it to you, okay? It says this, "Somewhere in some corner of the world sits a seed. Maybe it's tucked in the pocket of last season's chore coat, or disregarded in the bottom of an otherwise empty hardware store packet,

• 54:22Hoda Kotb?

  or dropped and left alone on the floor of the garden shed. Wherever it is, it sits there containing within it almost all of the necessary pieces to grow, to burst out of the ground into the beautiful plant it was meant to be. But it will need nurture, to be planted in good soil, to be given water and sunshine and shade, and then time to wait and watch, as what's always been becomes the fullness of what it was made to be. And somewhere in some corner of the world sits you. Maybe you're on a park bench, getting ready to make your next move, or at your kitchen table after a hard conversation, or in front of your computer with minutes and hours and days of work left to do.

• 55:07Hoda Kotb?

  Wherever you are, you sit there, containing within you almost all of the necessary pieces to grow, to burst forth into the beautiful person you were made to be. But you will need nurture, to be put in a place that makes you come alive, to be given space to sort it all out, tools to learn, to grow, and to be. And then time, time to wait and watch, as what you've always been becomes the fullness of who you were made to be. I don't even know who said that poem, but it's a Joanna Gaines special, "Left Behind", and I hope it means something to you. It means a lot to me.

• 55:48Hoda Kotb?

  I've realized that joy doesn't always come from those big moments. Sometimes you find it on the most ordinary day. I'll pop into a CVS for toothpaste or paper towels, and it never seems to be just a quick errand. Maybe I'll grab a delicious Well Market trail mix, or wander over to the Joyward collection. That's part of the fun. So the next time you're checking something off your to-do list, stop by your local CVS pharmacy. You might go in for one thing and leave with a little more joy. Visit your local CVS Pharmacy, sponsored by CVS.

• 56:19Speaker 03

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• 56:49Speaker 05

  With ChatGPT, you can do more than get answers. You can get things done. Whether you're leading a big project, planning an elaborate trip, or trying to balance work and life, ChatGPT can help. Give it a goal, plus things like files, notes or project plans, develop a trip itinerary with daily updates, or create a prioritized schedule. So you can spend less energy sorting out the details and more on bringing your biggest ideas to life. Get started at ChatGPT.com.

• 57:17Speaker 01

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.