Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Shawn Live @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live Good afternoon everyone. Hope you're all having a great week so far. Here we are again with our weekly cast. It was a hot one this week I'm not gonna lie to you. Just da fambly this week. Please enjoy. God Bless. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP ps. the special patreon treat is coming soon thats a gg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wow, wow, Wes.

• 0:01Matt McCusker?

  Yes, my legs feel so smooth right now.

• 0:04Speaker 00

  Why?

• 0:05Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. Just my skin just feels fucking.

• 0:08Speaker 00

  Your skin's glum.

• 0:08Matt McCusker?

  I haven't, I haven't sat like this, I guess, since last week with my.

• 0:14Speaker 00

  No, start at the beginning there. There.

• 0:17Matt McCusker?

  Oh, with my skin?

• 0:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's good stuff.

• 0:20Matt McCusker?

  That works. True. That's a good, uh, I don't, I'm just saying, I'm surprised by my, my leg. Usually my legs hit my other leg and I go, ew, get that the fuck off.

• 0:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's rough. My skin's dry as shit.

• 0:29Matt McCusker?

  My teeth. Is it high right now? I got fucked for, I was in Omaha last weekend. I got all dried out in the cold. Came back like I had that alligator skin. But, Bill, I was, uh.

• 0:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, I've got it right now. I was staring at my skin the entire meeting I was just having. For one straight hour, I was going, damn, I got dry skin.

• 0:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I do that every now and again. I catch like.

• 0:47Speaker 00

  Shane, what do you think of that? And I go, yeah. For sure.

• 0:52Matt McCusker?

  You can like see individual skin cells?

• 0:54Speaker 00

  I wasn't staring at my skin.

• 0:56Matt McCusker?

  I know. I've been pretty spacey today, too.

• 0:58Speaker 00

  I wasn't staring at how red my faces the entire Zoom meeting, just going, Jesus Christ.

• 1:03Matt McCusker?

  They got, why don't, they let you do a different background. They should let you just do a whole different face. That way you're not staring at your own face.

• 1:08Speaker 00

  I should do cat face. Just put the cat. You ever see that lawyer? It was during COVID and the old guy had to call in for a thing and, uh, his grandkids were fucking with the computer and it was like a cat. Like when he talked, it would talk and he was like, I'm not a cat. And they're like, yeah, we know. It's classic.

• 1:28Matt McCusker?

  That is pretty good.

• 1:29Speaker 00

  I've been, I've been fired up. There's too many skeeters. The skeeters, Texas mosquitoes.

• 1:33Matt McCusker?

  They do, they don't.

• 1:35Speaker 00

  Hell here.

• 1:36Matt McCusker?

  I feel bad because I know my wife gets crushed. They don't touch me, man. I don't know what it is. They don't like.

• 1:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, they get me.

• 1:43Matt McCusker?

  That sucks. I know a couple of people. I think it's a blood type thing.

• 1:46Speaker 00

  But also just they're everywhere. They're fucking everywhere here. Like they're in my house. I was, I tried to get in the hot tub last night. There's 20 of them.

• 1:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah, you're, you're around that water too.

• 1:56Speaker 00

  Fucking swamp back there.

• 1:57Matt McCusker?

  Around the bayou.

• 1:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm down here on the bayou.

• 1:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I don't, I'm, uh, I don't, dude, the mosquitoes, I swear to God.

• 2:02Speaker 00

  You guys are up on the high plains.

• 2:03Matt McCusker?

  I'm on the high plains. I'm in the grasslands. I really am in kind of in the grasslands, but I will say I'm battling a neon green spider right now. It's kind of my, it's kind of my bro right now. It's in my blueberry bush.

• 2:14Speaker 00

  It's, what's he up to? Do you know what kind of, have you figured out what kind of spider it is?

• 2:17Matt McCusker?

  Fine dude, I, I ID'd it right away. Let me see. I'll show you a picture of this guy. He's pretty spooky, dude.

• 2:22Speaker 00

  You gotta let him chill.

• 2:24Matt McCusker?

  I am. He's, he's.

• 2:24Speaker 00

  Jackson, or just Jackson's gonna eat it.

• 2:26Matt McCusker?

  Bro, look at that guy. Neon green spider.

• 2:29Speaker 00

  Oh, he's great.

• 2:30Matt McCusker?

  He's a good guy.

• 2:31Speaker 00

  Looks like a little shamrock spider. What kind of spider is that?

• 2:33Matt McCusker?

  Ah, I forget what it's called. Let me, I have my family. I sent it to my little nephew. He gives me my bug ID. He ID'd it. Let me see what I got here right now. Go hit the family chat. Man has been active actually in here. Oh, here it is. Uh, Sphinx. He called it a Sphinx spider. Although, he is like seven, so he could be fucking wrong.

• 2:52Speaker 00

  A Sphinx, he might be wrong.

• 2:55Speaker 00

  Sounded like things.

• 2:56Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I found, you would love this book. I found the book on Amaz- I, I was sitting there, I don't know what I was doing. I was just like watching TV with my family and I was like, dude, has anyone ever written a book exclusively about farts? Like the science? And nobody has. I haven't, I haven't seen it at least.

• 3:11Speaker 00

  Like a scientific?

• 3:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, like, you know, how, what's like, you know, how do they start? Like what, exactly what are they? What happens if you hold them in? Like just stuff you'd want, like everything you'd want to know about them, which by the way, I don't think that book exists. But I did find a book about, this guy self-published a book on Amazon called Never Trust a Fart. And it's, it's six, it's six-

• 3:31Speaker 00

  Six short stories of shitting himself?

• 3:33Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 3:33Speaker 00

  That's awesome.

• 3:34Matt McCusker?

  Just his like bros, their like best shit themselves story. Dude, I was cackling.

• 3:40Speaker 00

  That's a great idea.

• 3:41Matt McCusker?

  It's unbelievable. And it's like the guy, the guy who wrote it, it's very like, uh, I don't know how to explain it. You know when like, um, I can't even, I honestly can't think of a way to explain it, but he just, I guess he not like uses cliches, but he uses like, and like Dale's a red blood, like any red-blooded American man has a close, close brush with, you know, he like, it, dude, it's so funny.

• 4:02Speaker 00

  People shitting themselves stories are like the best.

• 4:04Matt McCusker?

  Dude, they, they hold up.

• 4:05Speaker 00

  I don't know who it was. I'm trying to remember who it was. You remember the guy, he shit himself on a train? And then had to throw his pants out the window of the, no one, no one remembers this?

• 4:17Matt McCusker?

  Was this somebody we know?

• 4:18Speaker 00

  I feel like it's either somebody we know or a Barstool guy and I can't remember.

• 4:21Matt McCusker?

  At least he got rid of his underwear. Dude, the stories, the stories I'm reading, everyone fails to ditch the shitty underwear. One guy goes on a date, he's like in college, he's like on a date with this girl and it's like, set long enough ago.

• 4:34Speaker 00

  I'm sorry to cut you. Who the fuck is shitting? Who's risking a fart on a date?

• 4:39Matt McCusker?

  Dude.

• 4:39Speaker 00

  This is crazy, man. Everybody does the same thing. You wait until the date's over and then you uncork one.

• 4:44Matt McCusker?

  He was on his way to the date. He was walking over and it like.

• 4:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, alright. Right before the date, you gotta let it out.

• 4:50Matt McCusker?

  You get back and he was late. He was running late and you get enough backstory where he builds up the characters. He's like, he was Dale's a hardworking man. He's working two jobs. Any hardworking man has to eat fast food. There's no way around it. And his stomach was like, and he uses a lot of like gurgle, gurgle, blah.

• 5:04Speaker 00

  And he's like. He's Hemingway.

• 5:06Matt McCusker?

  Oh dude.

• 5:07Speaker 00

  Very, very easy. Short sentences, four word sentences.

• 5:11Matt McCusker?

  They're so good. And it'll be like, and then he gambled. He thought he could get away with it. He goes, I got this one licked. And it was like splat and he just shit himself already late, goes into the door. This is the first story. I won't give away the other ones. There, I've read four and after the fourth, I'm like, I think I get it. I start reading the next one. I'm like, this is so fucking funny. But yeah, he shit himself heading up to the date. It was already late. The girl was all made up in the dorm room with her roommate. And he was like, oh guys, I'm sorry. I gotta hit the bathroom. And he took off his shitty underwear. It was all contained. And he saw this big window out of the dorm. He could have thrown the shitty underwear out, tried to flush it. Underwear, the toilet backs up.

• 5:48Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 5:48Matt McCusker?

  He climbed out the window, got on a tree and just escaped. And the girls thought he was in the bathroom the whole time. So then after like 35 minutes, he wasn't answering. So they called the fire department. The fire department kicked down the door. There was just shitty underwear. There was just shitty underwear floating in the toilet. He just never talked to the girl ever again.

• 6:08Speaker 00

  Using apparition. He literally, there was a fart demon. It was a shit demon.

• 6:14Matt McCusker?

  He's like, now Steve's a family man through and through. And he's like a guy taking his family to a football game. He shits his pants. It's so funny, dude. It's so funny.

• 6:23Speaker 00

  I shit my pants before the Super Bowl.

• 6:25Matt McCusker?

  Did you?

• 6:26Speaker 00

  In sixth, sixth grade.

• 6:27Matt McCusker?

  Oh shit.

• 6:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, I was trying to cut weight. Got vicious diarrhea from not eating or eating some crazy shit. And then right when we got to, right when we drove the whole way to the, to the field, I shit.

• 6:42Matt McCusker?

  You went to the Super Bowl in sixth grade?

• 6:44Speaker 00

  It was what we call the Super Bowl. It was just.

• 6:46Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 6:47Speaker 00

  Pony. Pony football. And shit, yeah, I was in sixth grade. I was playing in the Super Bowl. I was trying to cut weight for the bowl.

• 6:56Matt McCusker?

  I thought you were just at the Super Bowl.

• 6:57Speaker 00

  No, no, the Rams, Rams Titans. That was sixth grade, sixth grade Super Bowl. Titans weren't gonna let me play unless I cut weight. No, I had to, I had to lose weight and I uh.

• 7:08Matt McCusker?

  You were about to play in the bowl.

• 7:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, I was about to play in the bowl.

• 7:10Matt McCusker?

  First bowl game.

• 7:12Speaker 00

  That was my first Super Bowl.

• 7:13Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 7:14Speaker 00

  And I uh, and I shit. And then I tied a hoodie around my wa- I was wearing white.

• 7:20Matt McCusker?

  Dude, everyone does it.

• 7:21Speaker 00

  Was wearing white shorts.

• 7:24Speaker 00

  And I knew it had to have gone through. It was a spurt. It was a spurt. It was right when I was getting out of the car. So people were just watching me walk away. And I tied my hoodie around my waist.

• 7:34Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 7:34Speaker 00

  Like a fucking weirdo.

• 7:36Matt McCusker?

  No, dude, I'm telling you, it's a cla- it's an archetype.

• 7:38Speaker 00

  It's hell. I mean, what else can you do?

• 7:40Matt McCusker?

  Dude, a guy who was taking his family and this is, I will, I will spoil another story. He was taking his family to the game. He's like, I gotta take a dump. And he's doing like a quick walk away. And his wife had just given him a talk about like, no letting kids pull your finger and farting. Like, we gotta set a better example for our kids. He's like, for sure.

• 7:54Speaker 00

  No more of that.

• 7:55Matt McCusker?

  For sure. And he goes to run and every, the funniest part is every guy, the way he describes like guys getting away with it being like, yeah, I didn't shit myself this time. And then just be like, oh no.

• 8:07Matt McCusker?

  And he, it was like cold out and he just tied his sweatshirt around his waist and just sat. He like ditched his boxers, sat like that. And his like, his whole family, are you cold? He's like, I'm fine. He's had, he was contained in the mess.

• 8:16Speaker 00

  Come on, man. It's football weather.

• 8:17Matt McCusker?

  But even him, dude, he didn't, what would you do if you shit your pants in a parking lot? You'd throw them somewhere else.

• 8:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:22Matt McCusker?

  Stashed them under the driver's seat of his car. And then his daughter, who was a teenager, was, has her learner's permit. She's like, I'll drive home. And she opens the door and everyone's like, oh my god.

• 8:34Matt McCusker?

  And he just kept being like, must be a dirty diaper. I don't know what it is. And she reached back to pull the seat back and just hit the shitty drawers and was like, and they'll eat, dude, the wi- how mad the wives get in these stories. It's so.

• 8:45Speaker 00

  I, I, I sympathize with the, the wives. I'd be furious.

• 8:48Matt McCusker?

  Dude, just go throw your fucking underwear somewhere else. Yeah, it is, I mean, dude, I'd never trust a fart. It might be a literary masterpiece. So good.

• 8:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, I have to check that out.

• 8:59Matt McCusker?

  I wanted to bring it so I could just give you, the passages are so funny.

• 9:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, it'd be nice.

• 9:03Matt McCusker?

  But I won't spoil it for.

• 9:04Speaker 00

  We probably got some good shit your pants stories out of this crew. It looks like, we got some bruisers in this squad.

• 9:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, Lemese, when's the last time?

• 9:11Speaker 00

  Come on, man.

• 9:13Matt McCusker?

  You never shit your pants?

• 9:16Speaker 02

  I don't really shit my pants like that.

• 9:18Matt McCusker?

  You don't really?

• 9:19Speaker 00

  No, when you say you don't really, I mean, the last time I shit my pants was like sixth grade. It's not like I really shit my pants.

• 9:24Matt McCusker?

  Last year, last year, carnivore died, shit my pants.

• 9:27Speaker 00

  As I was saying it, I realized that's a complete lie.

• 9:32Matt McCusker?

  We gotta save the tales for the book.

• 9:34Speaker 00

  True.

• 9:35Matt McCusker?

  You should take this.

• 9:35Speaker 00

  I'm gonna write eight story stories and just one guy. You've got nothing on me.

• 9:40Matt McCusker?

  Take this as Simon and Schuster.

• 9:42Speaker 00

  I feel like there's guys that shit their, their pants a lot, like, didn't Del Calo talk about it a lot?

• 9:46Matt McCusker?

  I think so. Dude, the, the, these stats on it are staggering, dude. It's like 10% of the adult population shits himself like every couple of months. It's something insane. When's the last time you shat yourself?

• 10:01Speaker 03

  Proud to be part of the 10%.

• 10:03Matt McCusker?

  You're a 10 percenter?

• 10:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm a 10 percenter. And I, it happened so often, I can't even recall like the last time.

• 10:09Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 10:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  But not like turds or nothing.

• 10:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, no one's dropping full logs. It's just diarrhea.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  I don't think I've ever dropped a full log, but I've squirted out some diarrhea. Probably on a month, once a month schedule.

• 10:22Speaker 00

  I bet you guys are shitting your pants at the creek in the cave a lot when you guys are out.

• 10:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, I probably have shit my pants.

• 10:27Speaker 00

  Lemare, why are you acting like this? Isn't you?

• 10:29Speaker 02

  I don't shit my pants.

• 10:30Matt McCusker?

  When's the last time you did? Or just had a messy fart? That was, that counts.

• 10:34Speaker 00

  A messy fart is what we're, basically we're talking about.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't, I don't, I try not to like fart. I fart in my sleep, you know?

• 10:42Matt McCusker?

  This is. Lemare, you, we, you stink fucking rooms. We gasp this out all the time.

• 10:49Speaker 02

  You can't even think of a last time you heard me fart.

• 10:50Matt McCusker?

  Last week we stopped the podcast and he had, he shit for a half an hour. We, we had to wait and he tried to go across the street to shit too.

• 10:56Speaker 02

  That's because I was poisoned by Nate. We got poisoned by Nate.

• 10:59Speaker 00

  I feel like you have to be poisoned a lot.

• 11:03Matt McCusker?

  You gotta get poisoned a lot.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  No, dude, I'm good at holding it and like not pooing before I, like, I mean poop before I go out. Except for last week.

• 11:13Speaker 00

  For last week.

• 11:13Speaker 02

  Last week was a shame pool. Who was that?

• 11:15Matt McCusker?

  Two shit breaks. Tried to go across the street to shit. On the clock. Tried to go across the street. We had a bathroom right there. Like, no, no, no. You got a shit on site.

• 11:24Speaker 00

  How was that? How was the episode received?

• 11:26Matt McCusker?

  I think alright.

• 11:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, cuz it was supposed to be a Patreon episode.

• 11:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I know.

• 11:30Speaker 00

  Me and Guard Dog, me and Guard Dog and uh, we let the squad down a little.

• 11:35Matt McCusker?

  No, I don't think so at all.

• 11:36Speaker 00

  I thought we had one.

• 11:37Matt McCusker?

  You guys went into the fucking.

• 11:38Speaker 00

  We were at Chappelle's. We had it. We recorded it.

• 11:42Matt McCusker?

  The ask is, dude, I'm so scared of asking.

• 11:45Speaker 00

  I was so, I've, I've asked him, I've asked Chappelle to do so many things.

• 11:48Matt McCusker?

  It's so, it's so honorable to be like, to go there and be like, I'd literally rather shit my pants than be like, hey, can you do my podcast, Dave?

• 11:59Speaker 00

  I was there, I was like, Dave, this is crazy. Feel free to say no, we gotta do a podcast. Depends when you ask him.

• 12:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 12:05Speaker 00

  Yeah. And then in the morning you go, there's no way he's gonna do that. And then he was like, I don't wanna do it. And I was like.

• 12:11Matt McCusker?

  Fair.

• 12:12Speaker 00

  Fine. And then I waited like twenty minutes. I called him back and I was like, dude, dude, just do the fucking podcast.

• 12:17Matt McCusker?

  Podcasts are, dude, they're like fucking kinda swaying elections. They're not, it's not fucking.

• 12:22Speaker 00

  But then we did it and uh, the audio is, not Guard Dog's fault, but the audio is horrendous. Maybe we'll put it out on Patreon, but it's not.

• 12:28Matt McCusker?

  I listened to some. The audio was not.

• 12:30Speaker 00

  It's just, and I had, I was just nervous and the conversations just kinda, me, it's one of those podcasts we do where you go, I'm just gonna tell him these stories. I'm talking only to him.

• 12:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 12:42Speaker 00

  Everybody that's listened to it has heard me tell these stories.

• 12:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 12:45Speaker 00

  Nine hundred times. But I'm just trying to talk to him. I don't know.

• 12:48Matt McCusker?

  That makes, that makes sense. I don't.

• 12:50Speaker 00

  Ended up being a dud.

• 12:52Matt McCusker?

  You think so?

• 12:53Speaker 00

  Alright.

• 12:54Matt McCusker?

  I mean, it's also, it's fucking sick cuz it's, you know.

• 12:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:57Matt McCusker?

  It's like Dave Chappelle talking.

• 12:58Speaker 00

  But the mic was on the bar and he was just walking around.

• 13:00Matt McCusker?

  Such a power move.

• 13:01Speaker 00

  You can't really hear him.

• 13:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 13:03Speaker 00

  He'll hop in sometimes.

• 13:05Matt McCusker?

  That's such a sick move, though.

• 13:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:07Matt McCusker?

  Cuz he knows how, he knows how mics work.

• 13:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's very familiar with mics.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  Just asking him to keep it a fist away from his face.

• 13:16Speaker 00

  No one, no one can do it. Everyone just.

• 13:18Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 13:19Speaker 00

  Literally, I'm just sitting there going, no one's gonna be able to hear this. He's just walking around.

• 13:23Matt McCusker?

  It's such a sick move, though, to just be like, yeah, I'm gonna take a fuck. Although, maybe he's just used to being lobbed up.

• 13:31Speaker 00

  I, yeah, I don't know.

• 13:32Matt McCusker?

  You should lob them with the mic.

• 13:34Speaker 00

  I think he rightfully doesn't.

• 13:35Matt McCusker?

  Doesn't give a fuck at all?

• 13:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, he just didn't give a fuck. And I was, you know, I was like, we're not gonna film it, there's no video.

• 13:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 13:41Speaker 00

  You know.

• 13:42Matt McCusker?

  That's sick.

• 13:43Speaker 00

  Cause he's always worried about getting clipped.

• 13:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 13:46Speaker 00

  Everything he says, someone's gonna clip.

• 13:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. And it's like, yeah, he was, he was in the crossfire for a while, the crosshairs for a while there with Netflix.

• 13:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:56Matt McCusker?

  He made it out all right, but.

• 13:57Speaker 00

  He, I think, yeah, I think he is every time he.

• 13:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 14:00Speaker 00

  Puts anything out.

• 14:01Matt McCusker?

  They're on his ass.

• 14:01Speaker 00

  He's back in the crosshairs.

• 14:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they're on his fucking ass. I watched the, I watched the Damon Wayans, uh, Club Shea Shea. Yeah, and he was like saying how, you know, he's like, he was basically saying, he's like, Dave was the only one out of our, like, our group who just kept doing, he goes, I can't do it anymore. He's like, if I do, he's like, I can't say, all those guys, Steve Harvey, they want us, they're like, if I did a special right now, it would just ruin my whole life. It's like, just do it, dude, do it, Steve.

• 14:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:27Matt McCusker?

  Do it. Fucking do it.

• 14:29Speaker 00

  We actually talked about that. We, we talked about Steve Harvey for a little.

• 14:32Matt McCusker?

  Did you really?

• 14:33Speaker 00

  Just how great he is.

• 14:34Matt McCusker?

  He is the man.

• 14:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:35Matt McCusker?

  Although he got a lot of people, people like to shit on Harvey, dude, he's the man. His morning show is so fucking good. I love his morning show.

• 14:42Speaker 00

  I didn't even know he had one.

• 14:43Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 14:44Speaker 00

  A morning show?

• 14:45Matt McCusker?

  Dude, he's at the biggest morning radio show, he's at like one of the biggest morning radio shows of like all time.

• 14:50Speaker 00

  Yeah?

• 14:50Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 14:51Speaker 00

  What is it? What's it called?

• 14:52Matt McCusker?

  Steve Harvey in the Morning.

• 14:54Speaker 00

  Steve Harvey in the Morning? Who, is it on the radio?

• 14:57Matt McCusker?

  It's on the radio. It's on like, yeah, it's on like FM radio. But it's like, it's like syndicated, dude, he's got like, he's the radio god, dude.

• 15:05Speaker 00

  Steve Harvey in the Morning? When was that? Is it still on?

• 15:08Matt McCusker?

  WDS, it's on like, it's on like, old, eh, like, you know, there's like Power 99, like, young black people, he's on old black people radio, WDS, WDSF.

• 15:17Speaker 00

  I never had access to old black people radio.

• 15:19Matt McCusker?

  It's fucking sick. It's, it's all, it's like four songs.

• 15:22Speaker 00

  Central PA did not even close. It was, I mean, I remember being excited when we got popped.

• 15:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 15:30Speaker 00

  For real.

• 15:30Matt McCusker?

  Pops you.

• 15:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, we had country the whole time and it was like, I, I didn't like it.

• 15:34Matt McCusker?

  Dude, WDS.

• 15:35Speaker 00

  We had classic rock, though.

• 15:36Matt McCusker?

  It's Brian McKnight forty thousand times a day, and then it's that one guy goes, I can't stop loving you, that plays a thousand times. And then it's just Steve Harvey all morning. It's two songs and Steve Harvey.

• 15:48Speaker 00

  Steve Harvey rules.

• 15:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he does roll.

• 15:52Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Quince.

• 15:54Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 15:55Speaker 00

  What do you know about Quince?

• 15:56Matt McCusker?

  I love Quince. I'll be, I'll be honest. They sent me the stuff and I, their boxers, they use like cotton, like regular materials, not a lot of polyesters, natural fibers. I'm a, I'm a big fan.

• 16:07Speaker 00

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• 16:32Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty crazy.

• 16:33Speaker 00

  That's a bargain.

• 16:34Matt McCusker?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com, get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know it was Matt and Shane's secret podcast. It's the best way to support the show. This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

• 17:00Speaker 00

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• 17:01Matt McCusker?

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• 17:08Speaker 00

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• 17:17Matt McCusker?

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• 17:37Speaker 00

  Incredible.

• 17:37Matt McCusker?

  Club Shea Shea, man. How, how long can it go, dude? He's, I think he's trying to recapture the Cat Williams episode, but like, cause you can tell he wants the beef, dude. He wants, nobody wants

• 17:47Speaker 00

  I gotta ask, I gotta ask to do Club Shea Shea.

• 17:49Matt McCusker?

  I was wondering about that. When's it coming?

• 17:52Speaker 00

  I didn't, I'm not, I haven't done it yet.

• 17:55Speaker 00

  I'm just gonna say my friend Matt's a Hollywood pedophile.

• 17:59Speaker 00

  That's all I'm gonna do.

• 18:00Matt McCusker?

  He's gonna go, what?

• 18:02Speaker 00

  I'm gonna say, yeah.

• 18:02Matt McCusker?

  I'll talk about that.

• 18:07Matt McCusker?

  You gotta do Shea Shea.

• 18:08Speaker 00

  No, I just, I would, I would love to. Whenever I'm, hopefully I can be in town for it.

• 18:12Matt McCusker?

  Where is, where's he, where is Shea Shea?

• 18:15Speaker 00

  I don't know. They were talking about doing it in Vegas at one point.

• 18:18Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 18:18Speaker 00

  But I don't know where it is.

• 18:20Matt McCusker?

  Me either.

• 18:20Speaker 00

  It's probably LA or Atlanta.

• 18:22Matt McCusker?

  I was thinking, I was thinking, yeah, where do they film Shea Shea?

• 18:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I've been, I've been, I've been checking.

• 18:29Speaker 00

  I can probably, I can probably get in there.

• 18:31Matt McCusker?

  Bro.

• 18:31Speaker 00

  I'll go, I'll go full Catwoman.

• 18:33Matt McCusker?

  You got it, you got it.

• 18:34Speaker 00

  LA? Yeah.

• 18:36Matt McCusker?

  Damn, Shea Shea would be sick.

• 18:38Speaker 00

  I don't head out LA way very often.

• 18:39Matt McCusker?

  You gotta do it. I, I, I noticed Andrew Schultz was in, uh, he did like a lot. He did this one podcast where he had to like, it was like him versus, it was like, him just versus like four black dudes and they're trying to attack him for, uh, I don't know if that was a whole thing.

• 18:51Speaker 00

  Oh, it was Ryan Clark.

• 18:52Matt McCusker?

  Who's that?

• 18:53Speaker 00

  Uh, Ryan Clark. He's, uh, he's actually the man.

• 18:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 18:56Speaker 00

  He's, he's lib, he's lib, but he's a good bro.

• 18:59Matt McCusker?

  He's a good bro.

• 19:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they were, they were trying to get him and he was like, dude, you've literally had people, that, that thing he said about like, he's like, you literally have people on here beating black women. He's like, well, we, we pressed them on it, but you know, they asked to edit it, so we let them. That was, it's pretty smart of him.

• 19:15Matt McCusker?

  It was funny though, doing it, but just watching him do battle, just black, black podcast battle is like, it's pretty sick.

• 19:21Speaker 00

  Schultz will go in, yeah.

• 19:22Matt McCusker?

  He did, he fully, he fully did. It was pretty, uh, it was fun to watch. So I was following it loosely and I was like, damn, they're fucking really giving it to me.

• 19:29Speaker 00

  It's tough to go in there and battle.

• 19:31Matt McCusker?

  I mean, but if you have, he had the, you know.

• 19:34Speaker 00

  Going into a black podcast and battling is nuts, dude.

• 19:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude.

• 19:38Speaker 00

  You get me on Breakfast Club or any of these, I'm gonna be like, fucking, yeah, I hate racism.

• 19:44Speaker 00

  Fucking Trump racist piece of shit. I like Biden.

• 19:47Matt McCusker?

  That's the funniest first name.

• 19:48Speaker 00

  I like Biden.

• 19:49Matt McCusker?

  Obviously hate racism. Like, we didn't ask you any questions.

• 19:52Speaker 00

  I hate racism and, uh, yeah, Kamala Harris was great.

• 19:57Matt McCusker?

  Although they could goad you into an epic white spaz. That show is designed to evoke crazy white spaz.

• 20:04Speaker 00

  I don't think they would give me the spaz, but I think they would give me to finally be like,

• 20:10Speaker 00

  what you're saying is wrong.

• 20:14Matt McCusker?

  They'll bring the lady, that lady who zooms in is the, she's like an agent.

• 20:19Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, yeah. On Breakfast Club?

• 20:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. That lady.

• 20:22Speaker 00

  It's not Angela Yee, is it? No, who is it?

• 20:24Matt McCusker?

  No, it's just this lady who zooms in.

• 20:26Speaker 00

  I know who it is.

• 20:27Matt McCusker?

  They bring her in for Ramaswami.

• 20:29Speaker 00

  She zooms into battle like Ramaswami. Ramaswami eats her lunch. They always have Ramaswami and he fucks her up.

• 20:37Matt McCusker?

  Well, to be fair, she has, to be fair, she's, she's arguing with zero facts, which is impressive. She just cuts off.

• 20:46Matt McCusker?

  She just cuts off and just goes like, does the classic like, no, no, no, just answer my question. You're like, yeah, well, obviously like, okay, that's all I gotta say. You're like, what the fuck?

• 20:56Speaker 00

  Arguing with zero facts? Come on, man.

• 20:59Matt McCusker?

  What? She does. I've watched like four interviews. It's like, it's so funny.

• 21:05Speaker 00

  You see The View?

• 21:07Speaker 00

  You tell me ladies argue with zero facts?

• 21:11Matt McCusker?

  True, that kind of is their thing.

• 21:13Speaker 00

  Fuck yeah.

• 21:14Matt McCusker?

  They're just nothing but Doctor Strange portals the whole time. You're like, wait a second, how the fuck did we get to this subject? Where am I? But yeah, that, uh, that was, that was kind of my week at YouTube. How was fucking, how was?

• 21:26Speaker 00

  I had a great week.

• 21:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, how was the fucking ranch?

• 21:28Speaker 00

  Chappelle's was fucking awesome.

• 21:29Matt McCusker?

  It sounded sick as hell.

• 21:31Speaker 00

  Uh, first night, some members of Wu-Tang were there and performed.

• 21:34Matt McCusker?

  It's awesome.

• 21:35Speaker 00

  And then, uh, we got the, Talib Kweli was up there, that was good.

• 21:38Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 21:39Speaker 00

  Uh.

• 21:41Matt McCusker?

  Sick?

• 21:41Speaker 00

  It was awesome. I mean, it was the whole time. And I, Guard Dog and I brought Guard Dog and James came the next day. And they, you know, rightfully, they were nervous to be like, holy shit, we're gonna hang out with Dave Chappelle. And I was telling them the whole time, I was like, wait till you meet this guy. He's literally the nicest.

• 21:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 21:58Speaker 00

  He was the man.

• 21:59Matt McCusker?

  Two people have truly stunned me. Louis CK, I was like, whatever, I was like, I couldn't think. I was like, holy fuck, dude. And then I, I, when you did that show in the garden, I was just in the same room as Dave Chappelle. And as soon as he's like, how you doing? I was like, oh, fuck. Completely blanked out. I was like, dude, whatever, I'm pretty normal, pretty natural.

• 22:16Speaker 00

  Uh, no, I just added a third to the, uh, people that have stunned me.

• 22:19Matt McCusker?

  Who?

• 22:19Speaker 00

  Kaitlyn Clark, dude.

• 22:21Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 22:21Speaker 00

  Kaitlyn Clark was at the show. I, I don't know if she was a fan or her boyfriend, or I don't know who, you know, but. Before the show, we were in Indianapolis on Saturday. And we were like, this is the house that Kaitlyn Clark built. We were talking about the Pacers arena. And then, uh, we were at lunch and I was like, it'd be fucking sick if Caitlyn Clark came to the show. That'd be nice.

• 22:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it'd be awesome.

• 22:41Speaker 00

  And I was like pacing back and forth between the show and the green room. And then I just, Kaitlyn Clark walked by.

• 22:47Matt McCusker?

  That's just where she pays us to.

• 22:49Speaker 00

  Do you wanna hang out in the green room? She was like, yeah, sure.

• 22:54Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 22:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:55Matt McCusker?

  That's sick.

• 22:56Speaker 00

  And I walked in and I was like.

• 22:59Speaker 00

  Also, James brought his friend, James brought his friend to fly back with us to Austin. He was a priest.

• 23:05Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 23:06Speaker 00

  Which is great. He was awesome. But I did have a priest in the green room. It was me, Big Jay, who Soder was making fun of, looks like my goth stylist.

• 23:16Speaker 00

  And my road priest.

• 23:18Matt McCusker?

  Road priest would be sick.

• 23:19Speaker 00

  To people like, I don't bring a priest all the time.

• 23:23Speaker 00

  Kaitlyn Clark, I don't bring a chaplain on the road.

• 23:26Matt McCusker?

  Kind of the move, though.

• 23:27Speaker 00

  But yeah, she was one I was like, uh, got me a little.

• 23:30Matt McCusker?

  If you start moving like a military platoon, like you have like a chaplain, you have a cook.

• 23:36Speaker 00

  Cook, goth stylist.

• 23:37Matt McCusker?

  Dude, you had Kaitlyn Clark, a priest, that's like a, it sounds like a bar joke. It's like an Australian, a priest, and Kaitlyn Clark walked into a green room.

• 23:45Speaker 00

  Green room and watched me play UFC.

• 23:48Matt McCusker?

  You should have had either Nada Lomair just walk by her and go.

• 23:56Matt McCusker?

  Space invader, that'd be a sick Space Invaders. Just your Kaitlyn Clark.

• 24:01Matt McCusker?

  Black lady's mopping you.

• 24:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, I, uh, that's cool.

• 24:07Speaker 00

  I had another good invite to the green room, which was very fun. So in Columbus, uh, right before we were leaving the green room, a bunch of the Columbus Blue Jackets wives came back to say hi. So it was literally just four professional athletes' wives came walking back. My, literally, first thing I said, I was like, what are you guys doing here? Cause there were no husbands with them.

• 24:30Matt McCusker?

  For sure, yeah.

• 24:30Speaker 00

  It was literally just four beautiful women.

• 24:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 24:32Speaker 00

  And I was like, what?

• 24:33Matt McCusker?

  Can I help you?

• 24:34Speaker 00

  I was like, for real, what are you guys doing here? And they're like, uh, uh, uh, can we get a picture? I was like, yeah. And then I was trying to be polite, but it looked like I was being a sex pervert. Cause I was like, do you guys wanna, there's drinks in there if you guys wanna hang out. And they're like, no, we're all right. I was like, there's, if you want, you can hang out. And then I walked away like, probably looked like a fucking psycho.

• 24:56Matt McCusker?

  It was being hospitable, but I get it.

• 24:58Speaker 00

  I know, I know, but when it's four hot ladies and you're like, do you guys wanna hang out in the green room?

• 25:02Matt McCusker?

  You guys want some alcohol now?

• 25:03Speaker 00

  There's alcohol in there. If you guys need anything, I got it, you know?

• 25:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 25:06Speaker 00

  There's chicken tenders and nachos and Bud Light if you guys want it.

• 25:09Matt McCusker?

  You know, typical hot lady stuff.

• 25:12Speaker 00

  We got an Xbox and chicken fingers.

• 25:16Matt McCusker?

  Where were their hubbies?

• 25:18Speaker 00

  I don't know. Maybe they were on the road? Maybe the Blue Jackets, they were probably in a way game.

• 25:23Matt McCusker?

  Oh, I got what you're saying. So they weren't like out, like, you know, they were not there for real?

• 25:27Speaker 00

  Must've been rained out or some shit.

• 25:29Matt McCusker?

  Dang, so they were not there at all?

• 25:30Speaker 00

  That's a Biggie Smalls reference.

• 25:32Matt McCusker?

  What was?

• 25:33Speaker 00

  Uh, what I said, must've been rained out.

• 25:36Matt McCusker?

  Biggie Smalls done with the rain out?

• 25:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, nothing. It's a song he sings about fucking NBA player's wife.

• 25:42Matt McCusker?

  Oh, Jesus.

• 25:43Speaker 00

  And then the NBA player comes home. They're like, what's happening? He's like, I don't know, shit must've been rained out or something. They go, which one? He's like, I don't know where I'm fucking six, six months.

• 25:52Matt McCusker?

  You're just talking about refreshment, core refreshments. Now you're like, yeah, fucking.

• 25:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, the players are gone and their wives.

• 26:01Speaker 00

  And the wags, when the players are gone, the wags, the wags will play.

• 26:07Matt McCusker?

  The wags will play.

• 26:08Speaker 00

  The wags of Columbus will come play.

• 26:11Matt McCusker?

  Then they saw her like, damn, he has the queen babe of, he has the queen babe of the Midwest here.

• 26:16Speaker 00

  No, that was the next night. That was Indianapolis.

• 26:18Matt McCusker?

  Oh, that's Indianapolis.

• 26:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, in the house that Kalen built.

• 26:20Matt McCusker?

  I forgot you're, I forgot you're the aviator, dude. You're, but you're jumping.

• 26:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, jumped.

• 26:26Matt McCusker?

  So you were in, how long did they hang? They just came back to peek on you? Like, what was up? That's not on you.

• 26:31Speaker 00

  Literally just came back for a picture and then left. But I was, yeah. It was just one of those things where I was like, do you guys wanna hang out?

• 26:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 26:37Speaker 00

  They're like, no, we have to leave. And I was like, you could hang out.

• 26:39Matt McCusker?

  Could hang out. There's a giant couch right there.

• 26:42Speaker 00

  It'd be nice to.

• 26:44Matt McCusker?

  Dang dudes, what, who are the Blue Jackets?

• 26:47Speaker 00

  NHL.

• 26:48Matt McCusker?

  I got you.

• 26:48Speaker 00

  NHL.

• 26:49Matt McCusker?

  That sounds like one of those.

• 26:50Speaker 00

  Cause it's, it's for the Union.

• 26:52Matt McCusker?

  Is that what that's for?

• 26:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:54Matt McCusker?

  Okay. Okay. They, were they changing from the gray jackets?

• 26:58Speaker 00

  Well, that was, that was the Atlanta team and they got canceled.

• 27:01Matt McCusker?

  So they're the blue ja, they're the Union Blue Jackets?

• 27:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:04Matt McCusker?

  That's cool.

• 27:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's like a cannon as the logo. It's pretty sight. I think they actually have like a pretend yellow jacket, like a wasp that's blue.

• 27:13Matt McCusker?

  I was wondering, I thought it was some sort of bee reference. I was like, I gotta get up on my fucking bees. I was like, what kind of, what kind of, uh, what's a bluebee? I was trying to imagine like a blue bee. I was like, I don't know if I know about that. Damn, that's, that sounds like a good weekend.

• 27:27Speaker 00

  Great weekend.

• 27:28Matt McCusker?

  Very chill weekend.

• 27:29Speaker 00

  Got to take, LeMare, you'll like it. We went to St. Elmo's Steakhouse in Indianapolis. And the whole time I was like, I can't wait till these guys get this fucking cocktail sauce.

• 27:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, the horseradish.

• 27:39Speaker 00

  I was like, I cannot wait. And then I, the waiter comes over and I was like, don't, you know, don't spoil it. He was like, it's the hottest cocktail sauce in the world. And I was like, that was what I was talking about.

• 27:53Matt McCusker?

  I tried it when I was there.

• 27:54Speaker 00

  Guard Dog cowered it out. Admit you cowered it.

• 27:58Matt McCusker?

  It's not that, dude.

• 27:59Speaker 00

  And we kept being like, all right, dude, get it for real. We've all done it. Like, I got it and almost died.

• 28:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 28:04Speaker 00

  And then Guard Dog took a big one and I was like, all right, this is it. Soon as he picks it up, 90% falls off. He's like, what? I did it?

• 28:13Speaker 00

  And everybody at the table, everyone at the table gave you guff.

• 28:16Matt McCusker?

  He ashed the shrimp?

• 28:17Speaker 00

  And now he's gonna, yeah, he ashed it.

• 28:19Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it only passes so fast.

• 28:21Speaker 03

  Six or seven shrimps.

• 28:22Speaker 00

  You did have a lot, but you kept not putting the cocktail sauce on it.

• 28:26Speaker 03

  No, it was on it.

• 28:28Matt McCusker?

  You were glazed? He was just glazed?

• 28:29Speaker 00

  He would take some off and then he'd eat it and go, I'm Zandini, it doesn't affect me. He goes, yeah, cause you're not doing it.

• 28:35Matt McCusker?

  You gotta scoop it, dude.

• 28:36Speaker 03

  I had a lot. It hurt my belly really bad.

• 28:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, I remember when the squad got sick. I was fine. I was like, this is, I was born in this darkness.

• 28:47Matt McCusker?

  I don't like horseradish. It just like hits your nose and then goes away.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  It was so yummy.

• 28:51Speaker 00

  It was so good.

• 28:52Matt McCusker?

  I don't like it, man. I'm a, I like habanero. I like peppers. I, I went there. I went to St. Elmo's and just kinda like bothered them. I was like, I just wanna have the shrimp thing and I ate that and left. Upon your recommendation.

• 29:03Speaker 00

  Eating the, the whole thing and that's tough.

• 29:05Matt McCusker?

  Who was I with? I, I'm, maybe. Was that an Indy? Yes, that was the place we went there. I had one of those. Yeah, those were nuts. Yeah. Like, it made me.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  Not for me.

• 29:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, it'll fuck you up.

• 29:14Matt McCusker?

  Good for the sinus.

• 29:15Speaker 00

  It's great for the sinus. Me and Lemese went to town on them.

• 29:19Matt McCusker?

  We had about two cocktails.

• 29:20Speaker 00

  Me and Lemese went nuts on them. Then I went to the airport the next day and there's a, there's one there and I ate some at the airport. I ate some before departure at like 11 a.m. I was like.

• 29:33Speaker 00

  And it had, it's one of those like where the, where the restaurants like basically in the

• 29:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 29:38Speaker 00

  Walkway, like there's just a tiny fence separating you. So people were just walking by at 11 a.m. I'm like.

• 29:46Matt McCusker?

  Fuck.

• 29:49Matt McCusker?

  Just going back for it?

• 29:51Speaker 00

  Just kept going for it.

• 29:54Speaker 00

  I don't know, horse rash doesn't fuck my stomach up.

• 29:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I was probably just nervous.

• 29:58Speaker 00

  I feel like the spice just goes away right away.

• 30:00Matt McCusker?

  It does, that's what I'm saying.

• 30:01Speaker 00

  And it doesn't affect me. Like if I eat like really spicy food, that can fuck you up.

• 30:05Matt McCusker?

  Oh, for sure. But yeah, that stuff, I mean, to, to ash a shrimp of cocktail sauce.

• 30:09Speaker 00

  That's disrespectful.

• 30:10Matt McCusker?

  It's crazy.

• 30:11Speaker 00

  I think the last time you did it, it, it was a mistake, but a big glob fell off. And everyone at the table noticed.

• 30:17Matt McCusker?

  It was a mistake, but then I would scoop it with the crackers and eat it that way.

• 30:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, but with the crackers, it's easier. That's what the crackers are there for.

• 30:22Matt McCusker?

  That's fair.

• 30:23Speaker 00

  I mean, you, and then bragging while you were doing it, saying you're Zandini. Going, this is nothing to me, I'm Zandini.

• 30:30Matt McCusker?

  What's that website where you can order like food? You hate how Zen. What's like the Uber Eats where you can send a dish from like across the country? I forget. Yeah, Golden House or something? Goldbelly. We got a Goldbelly.

• 30:41Speaker 00

  What is this?

• 30:44Speaker 00

  What is this?

• 30:45Matt McCusker?

  This is a behind the music downfall.

• 30:46Speaker 00

  Cause I'm finding out about a lot of rich things. I'm just finding out about rich things. I just found about auctions. That you can buy like from people's estates. I told you about the OJ.

• 30:55Matt McCusker?

  Oh, estate sales are sweet.

• 30:56Speaker 00

  Bought a bunch of the OJ gear.

• 30:57Matt McCusker?

  Oh?

• 30:57Speaker 00

  I didn't tell you this?

• 30:58Matt McCusker?

  I thought you were talking about like estate sales like on the corner where you can just go to a dead guy's house and buy his chair.

• 31:02Speaker 00

  No, not like a yard sale, like a garage sale. No, like literally like OJ Simpson's estate.

• 31:08Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 31:09Speaker 00

  Auctioned a bunch of his stuff and. I got it.

• 31:12Matt McCusker?

  You got some of his stuff? What'd you get? The other glove?

• 31:16Speaker 00

  They were up for sale.

• 31:17Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 31:18Speaker 00

  They, there was a couple sets with gloves. I did not get them. I got all of his ties though.

• 31:22Matt McCusker?

  You got OJ Simpson's ties?

• 31:23Speaker 00

  I got his tie collection.

• 31:28Matt McCusker?

  Dude, if you wear his ties and gold belly some cocktail sauce?

• 31:30Speaker 00

  And go, yeah, exactly. And now I gotta find out what this gold belly is.

• 31:36Speaker 00

  I can ship that stuff to my house?

• 31:38Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 31:39Speaker 00

  You can get food from anywhere.

• 31:39Matt McCusker?

  Anywhere, bro, anywhere.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  But I think it's like frozen though.

• 31:42Matt McCusker?

  It's frozen.

• 31:43Speaker 03

  That would be fine if it's shrimps, but.

• 31:45Matt McCusker?

  Shrimps would be easy. They were just, all you need is the sauce.

• 31:48Speaker 03

  You could get like a cheesesteak from Philadelphia.

• 31:50Speaker 00

  I'll probably stick with Chipotle bowls.

• 31:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. I was, I was talking to, uh.

• 31:54Speaker 00

  Who are we kidding?

• 31:55Matt McCusker?

  I was talking to like, one of our friends and they were, he was, he was putting me on the gold belly a couple of months ago and he's like, dude, we're gonna get this cake made out of donuts. And he's like, tell me all the shit he was gonna get. And then like, within the next, we like changed topics. He's like, dude, they're telling me I fucking high blood pressure. It's like, it's probably just genetics, huh?

• 32:13Speaker 00

  Could be a donut cake. You had somebody fly to your house.

• 32:17Matt McCusker?

  It was killing me. He's like, yeah, I mean, it's just, you know, you can't really do anything about it. It's like, bro, you're scheming across, you're like trafficking fucking donut cakes. Such a sick move though to be like, bro, it's out of my hands. I don't know. But anyway, this gold belly app, dude, I'm gonna get a cheesesteak from Philadelphia sent to my house.

• 32:34Speaker 00

  That's another one. Yeah, I'm fully against this.

• 32:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. You do gotta make, they send you the shit.

• 32:39Speaker 00

  A cheesesteak is the easiest.

• 32:42Speaker 04

  Dry ice or whatever. And then you just take it out.

• 32:45Matt McCusker?

  Whip it up.

• 32:46Speaker 04

  Ingredients put together and you make it out.

• 32:47Matt McCusker?

  Have you ever gold bellied?

• 32:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, gold bellied, uh, this shit I saw on Top Chef. It was like cheeseburger dumplings. It was fire.

• 32:55Speaker 04

  It was fire.

• 32:56Matt McCusker?

  Gold bellied is so funny.

• 33:00Speaker 04

  It's like price, it's like, it was like sixty bucks, like.

• 33:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 33:04Speaker 04

  Nothing crazy.

• 33:05Matt McCusker?

  It's like FedEx next day delivery with dry ice, basically.

• 33:08Speaker 04

  Basically. It's like Uber Eats prices.

• 33:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 33:11Speaker 04

  You just have to make.

• 33:12Matt McCusker?

  The fact you gotta cook it kinda pisses me off.

• 33:13Speaker 00

  I think they're fibbing.

• 33:15Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 33:15Speaker 00

  I think they're fibbing.

• 33:16Speaker 04

  You think it's just?

• 33:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think they're fibbing.

• 33:19Matt McCusker?

  What do you think he's fibbing about? Oh, you think he's?

• 33:20Speaker 00

  I think you're getting a cheesesteak from fucking down the street.

• 33:22Matt McCusker?

  It's like an Uber Eats ghost kitchen. Yeah, it's probably a ghost kitchen that sends it to your house with dry ice.

• 33:26Speaker 04

  I, I, it was good. Like the sauce was, it, it tasted high and it was just worrying about the dry ice was the next part. I didn't know what to do with a box of dry ice.

• 33:34Speaker 00

  Throw it outside. Throw it in the homeless encampment.

• 33:37Speaker 04

  Well, no, this, this was, this was back in Jersey. I got this, that tried it years ago.

• 33:40Matt McCusker?

  Damn, you gold belly, you're on the frontier of gold belly.

• 33:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, OG gold belly. I think I saw like an ad for watching Top Chef.

• 33:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I heard about this and it was cracking me up to be like, dude. I don't know. I think it just takes all the joy out of it. It's like, you know, especially if you want something.

• 33:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:58Matt McCusker?

  If I want to like a cheesesteak from Philadelphia, then it just sits in dry ice and I have to assemble it myself. It's like, you know, dude, just fucking go take a walk, man. Go outside.

• 34:09Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. These days, you have to be smart with your money. If you're gonna make a big purchase, you gotta make it count. What's something, what's something you bought?

• 34:20Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I just invested in two bug tanks. I got two bug tanks from National Geographic. So they got a little magnifying glass on them. I got not one, but two.

• 34:31Speaker 00

  What type of bugs are you gonna put in there?

• 34:32Matt McCusker?

  Uh, right now, we've only gotten some roly-polies. So you can throw them in there, create their natural habitat and you can kinda like.

• 34:38Speaker 00

  I'd like to see what roly-polies are up to.

• 34:40Matt McCusker?

  Bro, I got, I catch, I catch like, me and my daughters catch like four roly-polies a day and put them in my garden.

• 34:46Speaker 00

  It's really nice.

• 34:46Matt McCusker?

  It's awesome. I have so many roly-polies. So yeah, I gotta, the bug tank's nice, man. Cause otherwise you gotta carry them in your, you ever try to carry a roly-poly in your hand for like, they fucking, they get, they're, they're escape artists. So, yeah, I got some bug tanks.

• 34:58Speaker 00

  It's been, you know, 30 years.

• 35:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:01Speaker 00

  Since I've tried.

• 35:02Matt McCusker?

  It's just as hard. They escape. So.

• 35:05Speaker 00

  I bought a bug light.

• 35:06Matt McCusker?

  You got a bug light?

• 35:07Speaker 00

  I got a bug zapper out there. That's, you know, kinda the opposite of what you're doing, but.

• 35:11Matt McCusker?

  Hey.

• 35:11Speaker 00

  Just as fun.

• 35:12Matt McCusker?

  You're battling.

• 35:13Speaker 00

  Uh, you sit by the, you sit in the hot tub and all of a sudden.

• 35:17Speaker 00

  God damn, that guy, you get some of these big, the bugs out here are so big.

• 35:20Matt McCusker?

  My dad's big on bugs.

• 35:21Speaker 00

  They die, they go.

• 35:24Speaker 00

  You hear him hit the fucking bug light and they go, Jesus.

• 35:28Matt McCusker?

  God damn.

• 35:30Speaker 00

  Another great investment, taking care of yourself, you know, you're talking about these bugs.

• 35:35Matt McCusker?

  I didn't even think about that.

• 35:36Speaker 00

  Why don't you think about yourself? Traditional therapy can get crazy expensive though. Like between a hundred to $250 a month or more or something like that. Therapy is worth it though, and you do have options like BetterHelp, the help with the bet on it. It could help you save up to 50% per session while getting you the help you need. I've had a lot of sessions where I think about myself.

• 35:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 35:57Speaker 00

  Take care of myself. I like therapy because. I've benefited from therapy.

• 36:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I think it's nice. I think it's a nice thing to do.

• 36:05Speaker 00

  Everyone could learn something from therapy.

• 36:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you could just learn how-

• 36:08Speaker 00

  Because it teaches you positive coping skills.

• 36:10Matt McCusker?

  Like how dumb your family is.

• 36:12Speaker 00

  And set boundaries.

• 36:13Matt McCusker?

  How you're doomed.

• 36:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, basically you get on a Zoom call and you talk about how dumb your family is.

• 36:18Matt McCusker?

  Hey, just break it to you, your family are idiots and you're doomed.

• 36:20Speaker 00

  With BetterHelp, you can work toward being the best version of yourself while saving money. And because everything is online, it's easier to get into a session with your schedule. I love getting online sessions.

• 36:30Matt McCusker?

  Love that.

• 36:31Speaker 00

  With just a few clicks, you can be talking to one of their therapists. You can even switch therapists at any time for any reason. Your well-being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com/MSSP to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash M S S P.

• 36:48Matt McCusker?

  And also, you can't use the tokens for those either.

• 36:50Speaker 00

  No tokens.

• 36:51Matt McCusker?

  I tried. You cannot use tokens for the-

• 36:53Speaker 00

  You're stuck with those, you made a mistake, you bought some tokens. But you can talk to BetterHelp, the help with the betta on it.

• 36:59Matt McCusker?

  About that.

• 37:00Speaker 00

  The better help, the help with the betta on it.

• 37:04Speaker 03

  Hello, everybody. Pardon the interruption. This is Sean Gardini. I just wanted to let you know that Matt McCusker will be performing in San Antonio this weekend. Thursday through Saturday, April 10th through April 12th, at the LOL Comedy Club.

• 37:21Speaker 03

  That's short for Laugh Out Loud. Matt McCusker will be in San Antonio this weekend. If you want to get tickets, go to mattmccusker.com. Also, I, Sean Gardini, will be at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on May 6th. It's coming up, so please get tickets if you can.

• 37:42Speaker 03

  I, Sean Gardini, will be at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia on May 6th. I'm coming back to Philadelphia. All of our friends will be there. It'll be a nice time.

• 37:55Speaker 00

  And that's a Gardini guarantee. So please, if you want to come to those shows, get tickets at shawngardini.com. Please come if you can. Thank you. And lastly, Shane Gillis will be in Cleveland, Ohio and Washington DC this weekend. Tickets for those shows, if they're not sold out, are available at ShaneMGillis.com. Uh, thank you for your time. Pardon the interruption. Now, let's get back to the show.

• 38:25Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, I don't really, I don't hanker for stuff like that. I could eat this, I could honestly eat the same thing every day and be fine. But-

• 38:33Speaker 00

  Gimme few, gimme fuck.

• 38:36Matt McCusker?

  Maybe I won't.

• 38:37Speaker 00

  Chipotle bowl.

• 38:38Matt McCusker?

  You should go belly Chipotle from Philly.

• 38:41Speaker 00

  Ooh, make get the worst Chipotle. I only want Chipotle made by black teenagers with disdain. I want hate in every scoop.

• 38:54Matt McCusker?

  You order extra guac and it comes back, it's that much. You go, perfect.

• 38:59Speaker 00

  I'm furious. What's this, just romaine? Perfect.

• 39:04Matt McCusker?

  I didn't ask for that.

• 39:08Matt McCusker?

  That's so fucking-

• 39:09Speaker 00

  Can you guys, Mayor Nate, can you guys acknowledge what you've, what you've done to our Chipotlas? What, what, what you're, hold on. You guys put a lot on us. Alright, we get a lot of guff. The way we took Rock and Roll and ruined it.

• 39:27Speaker 00

  Can you guys admit you took Chipotle from us and absolutely nosedived it?

• 39:32Matt McCusker?

  To be fair-

• 39:33Speaker 00

  Hold on, let, let-

• 39:34Matt McCusker?

  True, true, true, true.

• 39:36Speaker 00

  Come on.

• 39:38Matt McCusker?

  It's not the black people, this is Hispanics, is that, no, I'll say this, I'll say this.

• 39:42Speaker 00

  Fucking, you're out of your mind.

• 39:44Matt McCusker?

  I'm not gonna blame-

• 39:44Speaker 00

  You're putting Mexicans, you guys are passing the buck.

• 39:46Matt McCusker?

  What, hey, wait, have you ever tried to go in overly polite-

• 39:50Speaker 00

  You're passing the buck on back of the house? I can guarantee it's front of the house.

• 39:55Matt McCusker?

  They got caught being racist, Chipotle got caught being racist.

• 39:58Speaker 00

  What do you, like, what, were they just-

• 39:59Matt McCusker?

  The portions, they were being racist with the portions.

• 40:01Speaker 00

  On the portions?

• 40:02Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 40:03Speaker 00

  What, they're giving the honkies small portions?

• 40:04Matt McCusker?

  Yes. I swear to God. I, I don't, I don't know, I don't know if it was-

• 40:09Speaker 00

  I didn't need, I didn't need an article or a court case. I lived it. I lived it. And I had a march. I arranged a march.

• 40:20Speaker 00

  We did Selma across the uh

• 40:24Speaker 00

  Bridge by 30th Street Station in Philadelphia.

• 40:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, ERC resume ERC resume testing investigation finds racial disparities at Chipotle restaurants.

• 40:36Speaker 00

  Jesus.

• 40:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, bro.

• 40:40Speaker 00

  You guys took from us.

• 40:41Matt McCusker?

  We got the link back.

• 40:43Speaker 00

  You took Chipotle. It's such a small link. No, that's huge.

• 40:48Matt McCusker?

  Sorry, sorry. I gotta be fair. This is not about portions. It's about there being way more white managers.

• 40:56Matt McCusker?

  I take that back. Hold on.

• 40:59Speaker 00

  You saw that article where like, I know it's about portions.

• 41:02Matt McCusker?

  I swear to God, I saw, I swear to God, I saw, uh.

• 41:07Speaker 00

  Matt, I believe you 100%. They definitely fuck us on the portions.

• 41:11Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I maybe it's not Chipotle, but I swear to God, one of those like build your own things came under investigation because they were giving white people less portions. I swear to God. I swear to God.

• 41:20Speaker 00

  You head into a.

• 41:21Matt McCusker?

  Allegedly on Chipotle.

• 41:22Speaker 00

  Sweetgreen in Philly. God bless. Good luck, dude.

• 41:26Matt McCusker?

  What do you mean?

• 41:27Speaker 00

  They're gonna fuck you in your face. You're gonna stand there and go, I got extra chicken. They're gonna go.

• 41:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 41:33Speaker 00

  There's one more piece.

• 41:35Matt McCusker?

  Well, I would mad dog them. I go make a triple then and just be like, let's get, let's get the meat going. I also, I am, I'm not bragging, but if it's like a slightly older fat black lady, I can, I can definitely massage some extra portions. I'm pretty good at it. I'm pretty good. I go, oh, God bless. On the first one, you go, God bless you. Oh, that, oh man, God bless you. Then they, they'll hit you. Can I get double? They hit you with double. You go, oh my God, you're the best. Thank you so much. Cause I've, I've faced, you know, I've faced discrimination as well.

• 42:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:03Matt McCusker?

  While at the other side of the counter and being like, you know, now I really gotta, you know, you gotta sing and dance for them to get your portion.

• 42:11Speaker 00

  That's what a white man has to do to get a portion.

• 42:16Speaker 00

  It's like a jungle sometimes.

• 42:17Matt McCusker?

  Can a white man get his macros?

• 42:20Speaker 00

  Let a white man get his fucking protein.

• 42:25Matt McCusker?

  I really hope I got this right about Chipotle.

• 42:27Speaker 00

  I mean, it is Chipotle, dude.

• 42:29Matt McCusker?

  I, I know. We've, Sweetgreen's cra- dude, it's like a teaspoon of meat.

• 42:32Speaker 00

  Don't order Sweetgreen. Don't, you gotta go in the building to get it. I've ordered Sweetgreen and gotten just lettuce.

• 42:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I go in, I go to Sweetgreen and I have the White Panthers behind me.

• 42:43Speaker 00

  White Panthers coming in.

• 42:46Matt McCusker?

  Just filming.

• 42:51Matt McCusker?

  Sorry, they're not called the White, I should.

• 42:53Speaker 00

  They're not called the White Panthers.

• 42:55Matt McCusker?

  I didn't even think about that. I didn't even think about that. I forgot, we already had a group.

• 43:02Matt McCusker?

  Although, do we even have a group anymore?

• 43:04Speaker 00

  I don't think we even have that many groups anymore.

• 43:14Speaker 00

  Are we gonna sit in and go on a Chipotle? I'm gonna fucking sit at the bar and go, I'm not leaving. We're gonna get bit by a dog. A Chipotle.

• 43:31Matt McCusker?

  You're gonna get bit by like a fucking fat gender studies major. Actually, you think that's bad?

• 43:41Matt McCusker?

  I swear to God, this is true. I gotta call Spud. Spud told me about this.

• 43:45Speaker 00

  Oh, man, you gotta fucking, he's a member of the White Panthers.

• 43:53Speaker 00

  The White Panther Party.

• 43:57Matt McCusker?

  God damn it, dude. Anyways.

• 44:00Speaker 00

  They're still not accountable.

• 44:02Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 44:03Speaker 00

  I didn't get one apology out of you guys from, from La Mer, La Mer. I wanted from La Mer. La Mer is the most stubborn. He's a mule. He's a donkey. He's just a little donkey.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  Dude, I gotta say, most recently, the most recent Chipolés I've been has been, uh, it's been full of honks.

• 44:21Speaker 00

  Those are good Chipotls.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  I don't know, man.

• 44:26Speaker 00

  What was that, Nate? He said, he said, "They're pretty good Chipotls."

• 44:31Matt McCusker?

  There we go.

• 44:31Speaker 00

  Chipotle really are pretty nice. And you see honkeys.

• 44:33Speaker 04

  They're pretty, they're lad heavy, though.

• 44:35Speaker 00

  Lad heavy's great, of course.

• 44:37Matt McCusker?

  Chipotle faced a viral backlash in a shareholder lawsuit over inconsistent portion sizes at his restaurants. Mm-hmm.

• 44:45Speaker 00

  I do remember that. They were getting in trouble for the portions. That was, that was one of the few news stories I've followed.

• 44:52Speaker 00

  Oh, Chipotle is in the news.

• 44:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, so.

• 44:55Speaker 00

  Every once in a while, Chipotle will be in the news for like a, is it E. coli or Ebola?

• 44:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude.

• 45:00Speaker 00

  E. coli outbreak and I go, I'm going today. You gotta buy low.

• 45:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 45:06Speaker 00

  I go, they're gonna have a, you gotta buy the dip on this Chipotle.

• 45:09Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 45:10Speaker 00

  They're gonna be dishing out the portions.

• 45:12Matt McCusker?

  Yep. And then you go in after holding them down through the whole E. coli outbreak and being like,

• 45:16Speaker 00

  How are you rewarded?

• 45:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I was here the whole time. You hit with a half a ladle of meat, you go, bro, look me in the eye. Look me in the eye with that half.

• 45:25Speaker 00

  If you're gonna fuck me, if you're gonna fuck me, look me in the eyes when you fuck me.

• 45:27Matt McCusker?

  They ash the ladle, dude. Worse than ashing the shrimp. When they go like that, it's like, bro, why? Why?

• 45:34Speaker 00

  I know. Is it your chicken? Are you taking it like?

• 45:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, half of this is fucking.

• 45:39Speaker 00

  Give me the fucking chicken.

• 45:39Matt McCusker?

  Half of this is soybeans anyway. Just fucking give me all of it. Yeah, their pork was apparently for a while, I believe they had like, their chicken had soy for some, I don't know, maybe it was like the sauce or something, but the pork was just pure, the carnitas was so good. And that's a lot of times, you gotta eye the meat levels too and go, oh, steak's looking a little low. I don't see that guy working on in the back. Let me get the chicken because they gotta ration out the steak. You know, you do gotta, you gotta move around there too. But I feel your pain.

• 46:08Speaker 00

  How do you feel about Kava?

• 46:10Matt McCusker?

  I don't, dude.

• 46:11Speaker 00

  That's crazy. I can't believe you're about to be against Kava.

• 46:15Matt McCusker?

  I think it's alright.

• 46:15Speaker 00

  So good.

• 46:16Matt McCusker?

  I think it's alright. I don't, uh.

• 46:18Speaker 00

  Oh, man, I'm getting Kava. I'm gonna order Kava right now.

• 46:21Matt McCusker?

  That is, that is white rebellion against Chipotle to order Kava.

• 46:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, I go, how about some hummus?

• 46:25Matt McCusker?

  He's like, you know what? Keep your fucking ball. I'm going to Kava right now.

• 46:28Speaker 00

  What was it? You have something negative to say about Kava?

• 46:32Matt McCusker?

  Kava's just like poop, poop, poop fuel.

• 46:37Matt McCusker?

  But Kava's like, it like speeds it up.

• 46:40Speaker 00

  That's great. You don't like dropping a Kava pile?

• 46:43Matt McCusker?

  Kava pile?

• 46:46Speaker 00

  Build a great pyramid?

• 46:48Matt McCusker?

  Kava's not bad. That's what, if I'm near my parents' house and I got an Uber Eats, I'll get a Kava. Because I don't, I don't think they had the Chipotle near them. But Kava, Kava's alright. I just, I don't know, man. Something about their hummus, I don't really, don't fucks with. Hummus has been sitting. The coffee hummus has been chilling. Yeah, I kind of, especially when you take hummus too, like.

• 47:09Speaker 00

  I think hummus can chill.

• 47:10Matt McCusker?

  It can, but it's just like, I don't know, something about it. I don't, I don't love coffee.

• 47:14Speaker 00

  I like the hot hummus they have there.

• 47:15Matt McCusker?

  Yes, that stuff is good. I always get that as well. This episode is brought to you by Viori.

• 47:20Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 47:20Matt McCusker?

  I've been wearing the Sunday Performance joggers and I'll be honest, I didn't expect to have opinions about joggers, but I do.

• 47:26Speaker 00

  Oh, I know you do.

• 47:27Matt McCusker?

  Well, they're soft, lightweight and have four-way stretch, so they can move with you with no restriction. They're technically workout clothes, so you can train in them, but they don't look like workout clothes. You can wear them out and people will think you've got your life together. Honestly, they're comfier than whatever you're wearing right now, unless you're already wearing Viori, in which case, respect.

• 47:51Speaker 00

  And with the holidays coming up, Viori makes gift giving easy. Uh, I was close to that. Uh, whether it's the Sunday collection or the Strato collection, their bestsellers are go-to gifts for everyone on your list, including yourself. Get 20% off your first purchase at Viori.com/secret and discover the versatility of Viori clothing. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions.

• 48:13Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Dude, real quick, gotta tell you guys about this.

• 48:18Speaker 00

  Oh, I like this.

• 48:18Matt McCusker?

  I like that too. AG1, the healthy stuff I've been drinking recently. Still just one scoop, once a day. Vitamins, minerals, probiotics, all this stuff my actual diet doesn't provide. Mix is great, doesn't taste like a fistfight, package travel easily if you're on the road doing shows or just too lazy to measure anything out, which dude, come on. They also recently came out with AG1 Pro, the same foundation, but with creatine in one simple delicious drink. So if you're someone who trains a lot or wants to get more impact out of your stack, this one might be worth checking out. So hurry up and go to drinkag1.com/secretpod and for a limited time only, get a free immune support bundle,

• 49:02Matt McCusker?

  including omega-3 fish oil and vitamin D3 plus K2 with your first subscription to AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/secretpod. I would just build your own bowls, dude. I actually, I had a million dollar idea about restaurants. Have you considered starting a viral, like, just like a chain restaurant?

• 49:22Speaker 00

  I have not.

• 49:23Matt McCusker?

  Dude.

• 49:23Speaker 00

  I don't want to get into any bar or restaurant bullshit.

• 49:26Matt McCusker?

  Dude, you're talking about like, you're calling Wahlburgers fucking bullshit, dude?

• 49:32Matt McCusker?

  How dare you?

• 49:32Speaker 00

  Apparently Wahlburgers is good.

• 49:33Matt McCusker?

  Wahlburgers is fucking rules, dude.

• 49:35Speaker 00

  It's really good.

• 49:35Matt McCusker?

  Wahlburgers was my spot, dude. But the, um, I was thinking, instead of Shake Shack, you start a restaurant that it's only standing counters and it's just the thinnest shitty steaks. So it's like, instead of a burger, you get a thin, like, six ounce steak and beans. And there's no, there's only cold beers. Cold beer is the only refreshment. If you're a girl, you can have White Claws.

• 49:59Matt McCusker?

  Not bad.

• 50:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:00Matt McCusker?

  You do a fast food steakhouse of just stand only and eat steaks on a counter and eat beans and drink beer.

• 50:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:07Matt McCusker?

  It'd be sick.

• 50:08Speaker 00

  I'm interested.

• 50:09Matt McCusker?

  Not bad.

• 50:10Speaker 00

  I'm interested. What's it called?

• 50:11Matt McCusker?

  Steak and beans.

• 50:12Speaker 00

  It's called Steak and Beans.

• 50:15Matt McCusker?

  No, but it would be Shane Gillis Presents Steak and Beans.

• 50:17Speaker 00

  Steak and Beans? Oh, you're talking about this strictly my diet?

• 50:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 50:22Speaker 00

  Is that what you're actually doing? Steak, beans and beer and you stand at the counter and eat it?

• 50:30Matt McCusker?

  And then you, and then every, everything, it'd be, there'd be a little razzle dazzle where we'd just put like a, get some like crazy, like a Lambo in every parking lot parked crooked and then you go, everyone go, like, people working there, like, yo Shane's actually, he's upstairs. But it'd be in every, it would be in every.

• 50:45Speaker 00

  So upstairs he's taking a nap. If you wait, he'll be down to eat steak and beans.

• 50:49Matt McCusker?

  He personally manages.

• 50:50Speaker 00

  And then go back upstairs.

• 50:54Matt McCusker?

  That'd be kinda sick, though.

• 50:56Speaker 00

  Steak and Beans.

• 50:56Matt McCusker?

  Just like the corner of like 23rd and Sampson in Philly? Just like Shake Shack, but you walk in, it's just all people standing, ice cold lagers.

• 51:03Speaker 00

  Where in Philly?

• 51:04Matt McCusker?

  Like, right where Shake Shack is. Is that like, like 22nd and Sampson, like a corner? But it's just, you go, it's fast, no bullshit. It's just steak and there's like two or three types of beans. And it's like, you ever ate steak at like a Mexican restaurant?

• 51:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:16Matt McCusker?

  It's like, and it's not like the primus cut, it's just like a fucking thin.

• 51:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:20Matt McCusker?

  Just like, almost gray, just a shitty, very bad steak. Sometimes, though, it can be good.

• 51:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:26Matt McCusker?

  But, yeah.

• 51:27Speaker 00

  It's a cafeteria burger.

• 51:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 51:31Matt McCusker?

  You could do the Salisbury, you could do the Salisbury.

• 51:32Speaker 00

  Salisbury steak. Salisbury steak and beans.

• 51:38Speaker 00

  I had some beans last week.

• 51:40Matt McCusker?

  Did you really? Kind of beans?

• 51:42Speaker 00

  You know, just baked beans.

• 51:48Speaker 00

  You guys can laugh all you want, dude. Beans, baked beans rock, dude. You don't understand this. I ate those beans so you all could run, dude. I was in Philly eating beans and now look at us.

• 52:07Speaker 00

  We made it off the beans, dude, trust me.

• 52:10Matt McCusker?

  Tell you, dude, steak and beans.

• 52:12Speaker 00

  We wouldn't be here without Bush's baked beans from my parents' house that I drove two hours to get. And drove back to Philly with a grocery bag of baked beans and chunky soup.

• 52:25Matt McCusker?

  It's gonna be the new Margaritaville, dude. Steak and beans.

• 52:28Speaker 00

  You should, Del, cuz it could be some chunky soup.

• 52:31Matt McCusker?

  Oh dang, just like a serve yourself ladle of some chunky. Bro, just nothing but diarrhea.

• 52:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're gonna get diarrhea. It's actually like a cleanse.

• 52:46Matt McCusker?

  Oh, and I was also since steak and beans.

• 52:48Speaker 00

  And also, you don't get to play, but we do have Xbox there.

• 52:53Speaker 00

  We're gonna hire another big guy to just play Xbox.

• 52:57Matt McCusker?

  Go like Disney World, it's animatronic, like the Chuck E. Cheese guy.

• 53:02Matt McCusker?

  That's gay.

• 53:03Speaker 00

  That's gay. Nice kids.

• 53:07Matt McCusker?

  True, he uses AI to hear stuff that's like slightly sus and he's like an animatronic like Chuck E. Cheese type is like, that's actually very gay.

• 53:17Matt McCusker?

  Back to the game.

• 53:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, we get the whole band, though. We can get all the boys animatronic out.

• 53:21Matt McCusker?

  Live stream your seasons where you're playing and they just broadcast it, the fucking MLB show.

• 53:26Speaker 00

  I do like the Chuck E. Cheese animatronic, though, of these three coming out. You on the flute, animatronic Matt on the flute, you three in the back playing keyboards and shit.

• 53:40Matt McCusker?

  Tony, bro, it's a million dollar deal.

• 53:42Speaker 00

  It is.

• 53:43Matt McCusker?

  You fucking.

• 53:44Speaker 00

  Steak and beans. Shane's steak and beans.

• 53:52Matt McCusker?

  Ice cold beer, the coldest beer allowed by law.

• 53:54Speaker 00

  Don't talk about that.

• 53:58Matt McCusker?

  I'm talking borderline slushy.

• 53:59Speaker 00

  Don't talk about that. I get brewskis tomorrow, I'm trying to stay off the brewskis. I gotta, I gotta wait till tomorrow. And I know I got a six pack of Beals in that fridge.

• 54:10Matt McCusker?

  Oh, man. Where you going tomorrow?

• 54:12Speaker 00

  I gotta go Pittsburgh way.

• 54:13Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 54:14Speaker 00

  I got a long ass fucking week, I gotta go to Pittsburgh. And then I'm gonna stay in Pittsburgh Thursday, Cleveland Friday, DC Saturday, and then Sunday. I'm gonna go to the Masters.

• 54:23Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 54:24Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 54:24Matt McCusker?

  That'll be sick.

• 54:25Speaker 00

  And, uh, I, they, they gave me one extra ticket. And they were like, my manager was like, you should take Gerben, he loves golf.

• 54:33Matt McCusker?

  Mm-hmm.

• 54:34Speaker 00

  And I was like, that hang is gonna suck dick.

• 54:41Speaker 00

  And I called him, cause he loves golf, so I called him and I was like, bro, I got us tickets to the Masters on Sunday, which is, that's the day.

• 54:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 54:49Speaker 00

  And he was like, oh my god, thank you, wow. And I was like, all you have to do is drink six beers.

• 54:55Matt McCusker?

  That's fair.

• 54:55Speaker 00

  And he was like. And he was like, I can't do it.

• 54:59Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 54:59Speaker 00

  I just, I can't, I don't know what to tell you, I can't do it. He was practicing, he does drink, he's just a little fuck.

• 55:06Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 55:06Speaker 00

  Behind, everybody I talk to, like, yeah, Gerben was wrecked, I saw him. Like, that fucking asshole won't drink with me.

• 55:13Matt McCusker?

  Why?

• 55:13Speaker 00

  He does every single time, he always drinks.

• 55:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you're gonna get him.

• 55:16Speaker 00

  But he's always a little reluctant baby.

• 55:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I can't do it, I can't do it with you, Shane. I thought he was drinking two beers a night and practicing.

• 55:21Speaker 00

  He was drinking three Bud Lights and watching the Phillies, that was last baseball season. I'm sure this baseball season, especially the Phils are off to a red hot start.

• 55:28Matt McCusker?

  What's going on with them?

• 55:29Speaker 00

  He's just being a baby, he just does that.

• 55:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 55:31Speaker 00

  It's like his nature.

• 55:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 55:33Speaker 00

  To be like, I'll take you to the Masters if you drink a six pack of light beer throughout the day, it's like six out.

• 55:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's not that bad.

• 55:39Speaker 00

  It's nothing.

• 55:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 55:40Speaker 00

  And he's like, I just can't, and I don't wanna bring you down, I know you're gonna have fun on the trip and, uh.

• 55:47Matt McCusker?

  He's gotta do it.

• 55:48Speaker 00

  I was like, you have one hour to respond. And I hung up. And then he never responded. So I was like, you're coming. I got you the ticket.

• 55:55Matt McCusker?

  That's so fucking funny. That's so funny.

• 55:59Speaker 00

  So me and Gerbys babies at the Masters.

• 56:01Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 56:01Speaker 00

  I had to buy outfits.

• 56:03Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah, you can't just.

• 56:03Speaker 00

  I had to buy, yeah, I can't wear, you can't wear this.

• 56:05Matt McCusker?

  What do you gotta wear? Like a polo?

• 56:06Speaker 00

  You gotta kinda wear, yeah. You gotta, I just gotta find pants.

• 56:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 56:10Speaker 00

  That aren't jeans.

• 56:11Matt McCusker?

  Go to Dick's.

• 56:12Speaker 00

  I'll go to Dick's Sporting Goods.

• 56:13Matt McCusker?

  Get some golf pants, some dicks.

• 56:15Speaker 00

  I ordered a bunch of Under Armour golf gear, but I hope it's not skin tight, cause I'm not wearing tight pants. And walking around all day in fucking Georgia.

• 56:28Matt McCusker?

  I didn't even think about it from that angle.

• 56:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:31Matt McCusker?

  When you said the Masters, I didn't think you'd maybe be walking around in tight pants in Georgia the whole time.

• 56:35Speaker 00

  Yeah. I think it'll actually be nice weather, though.

• 56:37Matt McCusker?

  Probably.

• 56:38Speaker 00

  Can you look that up?

• 56:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 56:39Speaker 00

  Augusta weather, Sunday.

• 56:42Matt McCusker?

  Oh, dude, just having that, just having that loom over the Gerbs though, all day of just the eyes.

• 56:46Speaker 00

  He's gonna be so, he's gonna be, I'm gonna make sure I ruin this experience. I'm bringing him there to ruin the Masters.

• 56:55Speaker 00

  Sixty-nine.

• 56:56Matt McCusker?

  Oh, that's gonna be perfect.

• 56:58Speaker 00

  That's good fucking steak and beans weather.

• 57:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's for real.

• 57:02Speaker 00

  I might treat myself to some steak and beans down Augusta way.

• 57:07Matt McCusker?

  I mean, you might as well take the shot.

• 57:08Speaker 00

  If you think I'm not eating beans at the Masters and then hitting a fucking Irish space shuttle, yo. Did you hear Billy and Spud talking about your dad used to call porta potties Irish space shuttles?

• 57:24Speaker 00

  Irish space shuttles is so fucking funny.

• 57:29Speaker 00

  I bet the Masters has good shuttles.

• 57:31Matt McCusker?

  Oh, probably. They probably got those trailers. Yeah, they probably have the trailers.

• 57:36Speaker 00

  I don't know, though. It's a lot of fucking people out there.

• 57:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you're right.

• 57:39Speaker 00

  People get wrecked at the Masters? Isn't that supposed to be like a?

• 57:41Matt McCusker?

  I would imagine, dude. Dude, golfers are, no offense to them, but total degenerates.

• 57:46Speaker 00

  For sure.

• 57:46Matt McCusker?

  So they're gonna be, yeah, people are gonna be fucking hammered.

• 57:49Speaker 00

  But I, I'm sure they are. But I feel like that's the one, it's like, I don't know if it's gonna be like Kentucky Derby, where everyone just gets dressed up and gets fucking obliterated.

• 58:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 58:00Speaker 00

  I feel like golfers, this is Mecca.

• 58:02Matt McCusker?

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:02Speaker 00

  This is like a genuine.

• 58:04Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 58:05Speaker 00

  But in honor to order or honor uh the golf gods, you do get wrecked, but I'm sure they're very strict about it there.

• 58:13Matt McCusker?

  What'd they say?

• 58:14Speaker 03

  This says you're allowed to drink of course at the masters, but it couldn't be more opposite than the waste management invitational.

• 58:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, the waste management intentionally, you just get fucked up.

• 58:24Matt McCusker?

  Oh, really?

• 58:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's it's awesome. They build like stadium around the course.

• 58:29Matt McCusker?

  And they just get fucking hammered.

• 58:31Speaker 00

  They build like big stands.

• 58:32Matt McCusker?

  Oh, like NASCAR looking thing?

• 58:33Speaker 00

  Kind of, yeah, on certain holes. I think the seventeenth. I think the seventeenth at the waste management.

• 58:41Matt McCusker?

  What's the waste management thing? That's just like a tournament?

• 58:43Speaker 00

  Just a PGA tournament in uh Phoenix.

• 58:47Matt McCusker?

  Dang.

• 58:48Speaker 00

  Or down, yeah.

• 58:49Matt McCusker?

  So they.

• 58:49Speaker 00

  People go nuts there.

• 58:50Matt McCusker?

  People get probably quiet. I mean dude, those like Scotch and sodas are probably going around. You'll see a lot of red faces, yeah. Towards the end of it, people are gonna be probably pretty shitty. But you gotta be quiet, that's the problem. So you can't. Yeah, it's so fucking shit.

• 59:05Speaker 00

  Steve, drink a fucking beer. You fucking pussy.

• 59:08Matt McCusker?

  And you move, like if you're the crowd at the masters.

• 59:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, you gotta walk around, yeah.

• 59:12Matt McCusker?

  Hole to hole.

• 59:13Speaker 00

  Some some people post up.

• 59:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 59:15Speaker 00

  You get a good spot at a hole.

• 59:16Matt McCusker?

  Just chill.

• 59:17Speaker 00

  Chill. I don't know how you don't get fucking obliterated at this thing.

• 59:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 59:21Speaker 00

  Just sitting outside in a beautiful area.

• 59:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 59:23Speaker 00

  Just waiting for another golfer to come by.

• 59:25Matt McCusker?

  Bro, I'm telling you, just sit, just stand there all day, not even watching, but waiting for golf, it'd be insane.

• 59:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think I don't I don't give a fuck about golf.

• 59:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 59:35Speaker 00

  It's fun to be there and play.

• 59:37Matt McCusker?

  It'll be cool watching people that good at it from like a shoot from a close range. That'll be really sick.

• 59:43Speaker 00

  Kirby's is gonna be.

• 59:44Matt McCusker?

  He'll be in heaven.

• 59:45Speaker 00

  He's gonna be in heaven.

• 59:46Matt McCusker?

  I heard he's got the golf, doesn't he have the indoor golf setup?

• 59:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:49Matt McCusker?

  It's so fucking funny.

• 59:50Speaker 00

  He's spending his tires money on a sick indoor golf thing in his garage.

• 59:58Speaker 00

  The video of him practicing is so funny. Him losing his club into the trees.

• 1:00:03Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 1:00:04Speaker 00

  One time we were at the bar and he was like, he just, he's always, he's one of those guys that once he started playing golf, it's the only fucking thing he talks about.

• 1:00:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:12Speaker 00

  Literally, it's the only thing he talks about at all fucking times. And we're at the bar and he was like, could you put on the, uh, tournament? And they're like, uh, sure. So we're just watching golf and he's like, "God, I'd just love to be like a commentator for one of these things. I think I could do it." And I was like, "Well, it's on mute now. Just commentate."

• 1:00:32Speaker 00

  "Just commentate now." And I made him sit next to me and commentate on the golf. It was so good.

• 1:00:37Matt McCusker?

  He's like, "And Rory, Rory, he's looking good today. He's a, oh, that was a good shot and, uh, it's good for him. He's off. So the next golfer is..."

• 1:00:51Speaker 00

  It was just because he was like, "That's my dream." And then I made him do it. And I was like, "See how bad you are?"

• 1:00:56Matt McCusker?

  He's ruined his dream.

• 1:00:57Speaker 00

  "You can't do your dream."

• 1:00:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I mean, on the spot in a bar, commentating golf would be so fucking hard.

• 1:01:04Speaker 00

  But he went for it. He believed in himself.

• 1:01:05Matt McCusker?

  That's good. What was he, was he like, "Oh Rory, real, taking it, oh, the nine iron. Here we go."

• 1:01:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, he was trying his best.

• 1:01:11Matt McCusker?

  He's a, yeah, that's just, that's a good choice for club.

• 1:01:14Speaker 00

  Should be the course layout. It's a bit of a dog leg to the right.

• 1:01:20Matt McCusker?

  Does he go golfing a lot or does he stay?

• 1:01:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's,

• 1:01:22Matt McCusker?

  He goes.

• 1:01:22Speaker 00

  Well, he's up in PA now, so he's been on the indoor for a while.

• 1:01:25Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 1:01:26Speaker 00

  But I'm sure he's ready to break loose.

• 1:01:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:01:28Speaker 00

  Spring has sprung.

• 1:01:28Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:01:29Speaker 00

  The Gerbys is out. And Westchester has nice courses.

• 1:01:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I'm actually pretty happy to hear about it. He's just crushing the indoor. Indoor golf is, that screen is fun.

• 1:01:40Speaker 00

  After a little, yeah.

• 1:01:41Matt McCusker?

  Well, yeah, I mean, if you had one.

• 1:01:42Speaker 00

  It gets pretty old.

• 1:01:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I guess, right. I got to do it for like 20 minutes at one time. I'm like, this is fucking fun.

• 1:01:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, hitting a golf ball is fun.

• 1:01:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Although my, uh, when I was doing it, it wasn't like picking up on the screen. It was pissing me off. But you're supposed to keep the front foot stable, I've learned.

• 1:01:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't believe in those screens.

• 1:01:57Matt McCusker?

  You think they're just fucking?

• 1:01:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:58Matt McCusker?

  That makes sense.

• 1:01:59Speaker 00

  I think they're crud.

• 1:02:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, being like, "Bro, you crushed that fucking two hundred yards."

• 1:02:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, why don't you keep playing? This is the best round of your life. Put 20 bucks in.

• 1:02:09Matt McCusker?

  They have the indoor, they have that indoor, fuck, you think that's fixed? Indoor golf league?

• 1:02:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, that shit's terrible.

• 1:02:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they're trying to make a big push.

• 1:02:17Speaker 00

  They're trying to push it. ESPN's really pushing it.

• 1:02:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but, I mean, if you think about it from a, it's so nice, cause it's like you just put some cameras, let them hit the screen, you're like, holy shit.

• 1:02:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:02:27Matt McCusker?

  And golf, and it really is like, guys who like to watch golf, that, you know, if you give them another excuse to sit there. It kinda bothers me when I see people watch golf on TV, I'll be honest. I'll come in and it's just like, you see your uncle and you're like, come on, bro.

• 1:02:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, this is-

• 1:02:42Matt McCusker?

  Do something else.

• 1:02:43Speaker 00

  Also, this is just nap. This is nap time. Which I understand, like, my dad watched a lot of golf.

• 1:02:49Matt McCusker?

  Naps to it?

• 1:02:49Speaker 00

  Perfect. It's the best nap.

• 1:02:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:52Speaker 00

  But if, if other people are around and you're like, put on the PGA Tour. Also, it's not Sunday. It's, you're watching fucking Friday.

• 1:03:03Matt McCusker?

  It's crazy.

• 1:03:03Speaker 00

  Yeah. Put on the British Open.

• 1:03:05Matt McCusker?

  It's like, dude, your wife, your wife's not here, you don't have to talk to her, you don't have to watch golf.

• 1:03:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, you don't have to talk. Yeah, she's on vacation. We can chill.

• 1:03:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we don't have to be dead.

• 1:03:13Speaker 00

  We can watch fucking remodeling shows.

• 1:03:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's the, that's the ultimate one, dude. That is a wife crusher. Just a Sunday golf show.

• 1:03:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:03:23Matt McCusker?

  Just watch it, fall asleep.

• 1:03:25Speaker 00

  I ran into a, a wife crusher last night.

• 1:03:27Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 1:03:27Speaker 00

  Put on Interstellar.

• 1:03:29Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:03:30Speaker 00

  Not for the babes. There's a lot going on. You gotta explain relativity.

• 1:03:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:34Speaker 00

  In the middle of a movie.

• 1:03:35Matt McCusker?

  But it's emotionally charged.

• 1:03:36Speaker 00

  What's going on there with relativity? And I go, well, I know what it is, but I can't explain it to you.

• 1:03:39Matt McCusker?

  I can't explain this to you.

• 1:03:40Speaker 00

  But I, I understand relativity.

• 1:03:42Matt McCusker?

  You should've been like, just Google Newtonian physics, master those, I'll bring you to the quantum realm. Yeah, that, uh, I don't, I feel like it's emotionally charged, though.

• 1:03:50Speaker 00

  It was, yeah, but it worked. It worked eventually, but there was a lot of questions.

• 1:03:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, like, wait, what?

• 1:03:55Speaker 00

  A lot of questions.

• 1:03:56Matt McCusker?

  He's behind the fucking bookshelf, cause he's in another dimension.

• 1:03:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. Somehow, humans built the other dimension within the black hole to guide him there from the future, cause we figured that, yeah.

• 1:04:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's called superposition. Jesus fucking Christ. Uh, go watch What the Bleep? Please. Did you ever see that?

• 1:04:16Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:04:16Matt McCusker?

  What the Bleep came out, it was like about quantum physics, and everyone was like, holy shit, and it, it got like completely debunked.

• 1:04:23Matt McCusker?

  You guys didn't get stoked on quantum physics when you were younger? You didn't see what the bleep?

• 1:04:28Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:04:29Matt McCusker?

  It's called what the bleep do we know? And it was like, do you know that two particles can be in the same place at the same time? Or like two different places at the same time? And I was just like, I was like 25, just always high being like, holy shit. Then I watched the thing five years later, like that was totally debunked. I was like, god damn it.

• 1:04:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:47Speaker 00

  No, superposition is real. They just.

• 1:04:49Matt McCusker?

  It is real.

• 1:04:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:50Matt McCusker?

  But they were trying to say like.

• 1:04:52Speaker 00

  I can't believe you guys have smoked enough weed to think you understand quantum physics.

• 1:04:55Matt McCusker?

  No, I'm telling you, it's entangled.

• 1:04:56Speaker 00

  I know both of you are like, no, I get it. It's very simple. You don't.

• 1:05:01Matt McCusker?

  It's no, it's.

• 1:05:01Speaker 00

  You don't understand it. It's so simple.

• 1:05:03Matt McCusker?

  He's caught up in particle duality right now.

• 1:05:06Speaker 00

  I know you remember the words. You can, neither of you can explain any of it.

• 1:05:10Matt McCusker?

  It's like, I can explain it right now.

• 1:05:11Speaker 00

  You can explain quantum mechanics to me?

• 1:05:12Matt McCusker?

  Not all of it, but I get the basic fundamentals.

• 1:05:15Speaker 00

  Please do.

• 1:05:16Matt McCusker?

  So the, the main thing it rests upon is the double slit.

• 1:05:19Speaker 00

  You're already off to a good start with rest upon.

• 1:05:21Matt McCusker?

  Look, the found a.

• 1:05:22Speaker 00

  You're already brainiac.

• 1:05:24Matt McCusker?

  I've explained it. I've explained the double slit experiment to you before.

• 1:05:27Speaker 00

  I do remember that. I know what that is. Yeah, yeah. And if you're looking, it's there. If you're not looking, that one?

• 1:05:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. And it was, it was, it's a wave and a particle at the same time.

• 1:05:35Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:05:35Matt McCusker?

  And, and then he found out that like, it's just all about clouds of probability and that like, even like things you think are solid at their most fundamental, the quantum level, which just means like the smallest thing possible. It's just a, every physical object that is very rude is a cloud of possibility that it could be in like seven different places.

• 1:05:52Speaker 00

  Possibility?

• 1:05:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. So it's like, if, like, according to that, like these smallest particle, like if you take like an atom and break it down, break it down, break it down. It just turns into like a, basically a wave that can be simultaneously in multiple places until you observe it and fixes it there.

• 1:06:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:07Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. That's, I mean, that's, that's a nutshell.

• 1:06:10Speaker 00

  Yeah. And you've, you've wrapped your head around that.

• 1:06:14Matt McCusker?

  I've just the basics. I just, I don't understand. I mean, if you really get into it, you have to be able to do like the most insane math. And the problem is, is like, it actually technically has like predictive, they can use it. I don't know how to do this, but scientists can use quantum mechanics to predict things. But they still don't understand how it works. So it has predictive capabilities, but we still can't, us in scientific community still can't wrap our heads around it.

• 1:06:37Speaker 00

  I get it.

• 1:06:40Matt McCusker?

  But no, I don't know. It's just cool.

• 1:06:41Speaker 00

  It is cool, without a doubt.

• 1:06:44Matt McCusker?

  It's just super cool.

• 1:06:44Speaker 00

  But I, yeah, I just never got high enough to be like.

• 1:06:47Matt McCusker?

  You gotta get high as fuck.

• 1:06:48Speaker 00

  I fully understand this.

• 1:06:49Matt McCusker?

  I don't fully, that's the thing, it's a bottomless mystery.

• 1:06:50Speaker 00

  I think while you're high, you feel like you fully understand it.

• 1:06:53Matt McCusker?

  You're just, you're in awe. That's the thing. I'm, I'm just in awe.

• 1:06:55Speaker 00

  I know he believes he understands it. And that's fine.

• 1:06:58Matt McCusker?

  Let me hear it. Jam, get on this quantum jam.

• 1:07:00Speaker 00

  I'm more of a quantum computing man, myself, guy.

• 1:07:02Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 1:07:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:03Speaker 02

  I'm more of a quantum computing guy.

• 1:07:04Matt McCusker?

  What's up with that?

• 1:07:05Speaker 02

  It's just like, it's just infinite storage and infinite memory.

• 1:07:08Matt McCusker?

  There we go.

• 1:07:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:09Speaker 00

  What is it?

• 1:07:09Speaker 02

  It's just infinite storage and infinite memory. That's basically what quantum computing is.

• 1:07:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, I could say things like this. Anybody can say things like this.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  This is the truth.

• 1:07:19Speaker 00

  It's just like unlimited energy and waves.

• 1:07:21Matt McCusker?

  I gave it decent rundown.

• 1:07:23Speaker 00

  That was good. That was a good rundown.

• 1:07:24Matt McCusker?

  I'm telling you. But I, I don't understand it. Just at the very root, physical reality is just like, matter breaks down into something that people don't even know what the fuck it is. And it's like,

• 1:07:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:38Matt McCusker?

  You know, pretty cute.

• 1:07:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:40Matt McCusker?

  That's why it's basically it's proof of like spirituality and stuff. A lot of spiritual dudes go heavy on quantum stuff. It's really funny.

• 1:07:47Speaker 02

  Dude, don't even get messed started on dark matter. There's been a lot of dark matter discoveries.

• 1:07:51Matt McCusker?

  I don't know anything about dark matter. I read those fucking articles all the time on Google News. It's like scientists just came out and you read it and you're like this, they didn't say anything.

• 1:07:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:59Matt McCusker?

  It fucking got me again.

• 1:08:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:08:01Matt McCusker?

  Finally, we understand. They did that with the, what's that fucking thing in the ocean? That's like the blue spot and, um, It's like in South America, there's this thing in the ocean. It's like this deep, super deep blue spot that just out of nowhere goes in. And they're like, they've studied the blue spot and found out that there's more tornadoes now thanks to global warming. It's like, How the fuck did you guys come up with that? And they're like, the dust, the sediment on the ocean says that there's been way more tornadoes. It's like, dude, where, how are you coming up with that? I think, I honestly think scientists are on, if you want my honest opinion, I think a lot of them are on some mega bullshit. And they're just fake working so hard.

• 1:08:36Speaker 00

  I think that's fair.

• 1:08:38Matt McCusker?

  Dude, everything, I read, I have National Geographic, it comes to my house, every time I read it, I'm like. Fucking guys, guys didn't say anything. I also just gotta skim it, buddy.

• 1:08:49Speaker 00

  Bullshit.

• 1:08:50Matt McCusker?

  Fucking bullshit, yeah, right.

• 1:08:52Speaker 00

  You get Nat Geo?

• 1:08:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:54Speaker 00

  That's sick.

• 1:08:54Matt McCusker?

  Nat Geo?

• 1:08:55Speaker 00

  I haven't seen a good Nat Geo in forever.

• 1:08:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I get it.

• 1:08:57Speaker 00

  I used to be so pumped when I would

• 1:08:59Matt McCusker?

  Nat Geo's tight.

• 1:09:00Speaker 00

  Get ahold of a Nat Geo.

• 1:09:01Matt McCusker?

  I get them, I get them at my house, my wife gets mad, I just get them at my house and I never read them.

• 1:09:06Speaker 00

  It's alright, it's good to have.

• 1:09:07Matt McCusker?

  Scientific American, Nat Geo.

• 1:09:09Speaker 00

  Are you sure you didn't get hit by the magazine guy?

• 1:09:11Matt McCusker?

  Huh? No, I do, every, I do this to myself, every two years, I spaz and I go, I need to start learning about what's going on.

• 1:09:17Speaker 00

  I need to read The Economist.

• 1:09:18Matt McCusker?

  I send The Economist, I send them all to my house and I just ignore, I go, not right now, I just ignore them.

• 1:09:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, but it's good to have and it's good to tell people you have them. You go, I actually have The Atlantic.

• 1:09:27Matt McCusker?

  Nat Geo, I'll do with my kids, I'll flip through Nat Geo, I'm like, look at that fucking thing, and just like, point to a leopard.

• 1:09:31Speaker 00

  Nat Geo's a good kids.

• 1:09:32Matt McCusker?

  Nat Geo's sick, scientific, eh, it's alright. But they, dude, they really, they're, they're just capping about space, it pisses me off. Always about, they, they come out with shit about space, they're like, we still don't understand it, it's like, well, stop writing this fucking article.

• 1:09:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:09:46Matt McCusker?

  You've, you've said nothing this whole time. You got me stoked, I'm on the edge of my seat about dark matter, still don't know what the fuck it is. Pisses me off.

• 1:09:57Speaker 02

  The papers are to put out a theory out there so everyone else can start working on it and like, figure it out. So, there's like a trail, you know?

• 1:10:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:09Speaker 00

  Steak and beans, steak and beans. La Mer, you need to stop focusing on quantum physics and focus on getting your, your jack off computer out of a kitchen.

• 1:10:22Matt McCusker?

  I mean, though, if you think about it, though, imagine the fucking-

• 1:10:24Speaker 00

  Two things can exist at the same time. And your shoe fell off.

• 1:10:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but imagine, imagine the quantum goon station. Imagine the quantum goon.

• 1:10:37Speaker 00

  Two guys can jack off in the same apartment at once. Two male roommates can jack off in the same apartment at once.

• 1:10:45Matt McCusker?

  It's, he's just on the other side of the wall, like Interstellar, like, dude. La Mer, stop! La Mer, stop! Not the kitchen!

• 1:10:55Speaker 00

  It's the gravity, he's sending me coordinates.

• 1:11:00Speaker 00

  I learned about dark matter today.

• 1:11:02Matt McCusker?

  Their house has just as much dust in it.

• 1:11:05Speaker 00

  It's a dust storm.

• 1:11:10Matt McCusker?

  We can't keep going on like this.

• 1:11:14Speaker 00

  Alright, alright. We gotta switch over to the Patreon. God bless.