Pod Insights Pablo Torre Finds Out PTFO Smell Test: Celebrity & Athlete Fragrances, (Blindly) Reviewed About this episode Since long before their weed strains and tequila brands, famous people have been selling vanity fragrances. So, with a month before Valentine's Day, we're doing a pungent public service: Pablo, Katie Nolan and perfumier-adjacent lifestyle writer Lawrence Schlossman enter the PTFO laboratory with varying levels of sensory ignorance. The winner of our 11 mystery bottles, from Jordan and Brady's colognes to Taylor Swift and Britney's perfumes — plus, yes, Will Levis' sold-out parfum de mayonnaise — may surprise you.
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Transcript 10,193 words · 8 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Pablo Torre? This episode of Pablo Torre Finds Out is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Medium Fries and a Drink is now $8. And look, I've chased down a lot of strange stories, but nothing quite like what's inside a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. It is 100% fresh beef, cooked right when you order it, with no artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives in the beef. The onions are hand-topped by someone who knows the perfect amount by memory, two slices of cheese and a star, and two pickles, side by side. So every bite gets both. And every time one's ordered, a cowbell sound rings in the kitchen. That's the grill master's cue to put a fresh patty on the grill. My move?
0:42 Pablo Torre? QPC, fries and a drink after a long day of recording. That is my happy place. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink, now $8 for a limited time only, only at McDonald's. For a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California. And for delivery, fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery.
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1:54 Pablo Torre? This episode is brought to you by Apollo.io. A lot of the stories on this show start the same way. Something that looks pretty simple turns out to be a mess once you look under the hood. Well, it's no different in the sales world. Your team has a tool for finding prospects, a different tool for reaching out to them, and a third for keeping track of it all. On paper, that's a system. In practice, it's a salesperson spending the better part of the day copying names from one tab into another, and not much of it actually selling. Apollo.io is a platform that helps sales teams find the right buyers and reach out to them. It brings prospecting, outreach, and follow-up into one place instead of several separate tools. It's used by sales teams of all sizes, from small
2:38 Pablo Torre? businesses to larger organizations, and it's built for teams who want less manual busywork and more time with buyers. If your marketing and sales teams are trying to work from the same view of the customer, it's worth a look. Sign up for free at Apollo.io. That's Apollo.io. Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out. I am Pablo Torre, and today, we're gonna find out what this sound is.
3:03 Speaker 02 It's fruity in the back. You get that, like, apple...
3:06 Pablo Torre? What'd he say?
3:07 Speaker 02 It's fruity in the back.
3:08 Pablo Torre? Fruity in the back?
3:09 Speaker 02 It is, guys. Grow up. It's fruity in the back.
3:13 Pablo Torre? Right after this ad.
3:16 Pablo Torre? You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
3:32 Speaker 02 Now, when we did the drinking-based podcast, we had a drinks expert. Do you smell for a living?
3:36 Speaker 03 No.
3:37 Speaker 02 Okay. Well.
3:38 Speaker 03 I don't know shit about cologne. Well, I know about Jeremy Fragrance.
3:41 Pablo Torre? That's not true. Lawrence is underselling his credentials.
3:44 Speaker 03 I'm a men's lifestyle expert.
3:46 Speaker 02 Oh, my god. Wait, really?
3:48 Pablo Torre? Are you familiar with men or lifestyle?
3:51 Speaker 02 Both vaguely.
3:52 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
3:52 Speaker 02 Yeah.
3:53 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
3:53 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:53 Speaker 02 And that's what you're...
3:54 Speaker 03 That's my whole life. It's men and lifestyle.
3:56 Speaker 02 Wow.
3:58 Speaker 03 I have a podcast that talks about that kind of stuff.
3:59 Pablo Torre? Lawrence's podcast, Growing Fits, is one of my favorite non-sports podcasts.
4:06 Speaker 02 I feel like I've heard of this podcast, but it's not made for me. Is it? It's not a girl...
4:12 Pablo Torre? Not with that up, dude.
4:13 Speaker 03 There's like, we have a 1% women listenership, so...
4:15 Speaker 02 Yeah, I mean, same, working at sports.
4:18 Pablo Torre? Congrats on your podcast announcements.
4:20 Speaker 02 Thank you. Oh, you mean the number five podcast on the sports Apple chart? It's just because it's based on new subs?
4:24 Speaker 03 Hell, yeah. Good for you.
4:25 Speaker 02 We don't even have an episode.
4:27 Pablo Torre? Doesn't matter. Celebrate it anyway.
4:29 Speaker 02 Oh, wait, one last thing before we start, you guys. The Invisalign's done.
4:33 Pablo Torre? Oh, my god. Look at that. Katie's hot now. Katie's hot now.
4:38 Speaker 02 I'm now unapproachable. Please don't approach me. I'm too hot to talk to you.
5:01 Pablo Torre? This is the third episode in a trilogy that I want to catch Lawrence up on.
5:05 Speaker 03 Please do.
5:06 Pablo Torre? Katie and I have tested athlete alcohol. And we declared, what sucked in your memory?
5:11 Speaker 02 Oh, I think it was.
5:13 Pablo Torre? Oh, Michael Jordan's.
5:14 Speaker 02 Michael Jordan's sucked.
5:15 Pablo Torre? Tequila was terrible.
5:16 Speaker 02 So bad.
5:16 Speaker 03 Did you have the LeBron Henny?
5:17 Speaker 02 No, we had LeBron tequila.
5:19 Pablo Torre? The Lobos, right?
5:21 Speaker 02 We drank a lot.
5:22 Speaker 03 You got [BLEEP] pissed?
5:23 Speaker 02 We got pretty drunk, yeah.
5:24 Speaker 03 Tight.
5:25 Speaker 02 Yeah. Charles Woodson's we didn't like.
5:27 Pablo Torre? It was basically as much athlete alcohol as we could get.
5:30 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:31 Pablo Torre? C.J. McCollum's wine was pretty good.
5:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think it was. I think vaguely that I remember that it was. I don't, uh... It was one of the first things we drank.
5:38 Speaker 03 Oh, really? Yeah, so we'll have to go to the tape.
5:40 Speaker 02 It feels like it's enveloping my tongue. Does that make sense?
5:43 Pablo Torre? It is.
5:44 Speaker 02 I feel it on like all sides of my tongue. This is good.
5:47 Pablo Torre? Relatedly, Katie Nolan hasn't dumped any of the wine that she's been tasting. She's...
5:51 Speaker 02 Not a [BLEEP]. When I puked it all up, I didn't even taste that.
5:54 Pablo Torre? Yep, yep, yep, yep. That was, uh, part one.
5:57 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:58 Pablo Torre? Part two was athlete weed.
5:59 Speaker 02 Right, with my fiance, Dan Soder, who is a weed expert.
6:02 Pablo Torre? Yep.
6:03 Speaker 03 Very funny man.
6:03 Speaker 02 Our weed. Thank you. I'll let him know. And thank you. I made him this way.
6:07 Speaker 04 Thank you for bringing all this great weed around.
6:09 Speaker 02 How much of it stays, would you say? Because you don't want to get caught carrying this much. You could get in some real trouble.
6:13 Speaker 04 Typical dealer comes over, smokes some of it, eats some of your food, plays your video games. This is a story.
6:22 Speaker 02 Records everything you do and publishes it as a podcast.
6:25 Speaker 04 Guy's probably wearing a wire.
6:28 Pablo Torre? Gary Payton?
6:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, was the best, which we, I mean, that we knew that.
6:32 Speaker 03 Smoking that glove pack, dude.
6:33 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
6:34 Pablo Torre? And Dan cannot smell.
6:36 Speaker 02 Has no sense of smell. Was very upset today when I was leaving.
6:39 Pablo Torre? Physically cannot smell.
6:40 Speaker 02 He said, "Tell Pablo I said hi." Covid knocked it out completely, so now it's like gone. But he also insists his taste is untouched. And I'm like, that's not possible.
6:48 Speaker 03 Right.
6:48 Speaker 02 What I know is that I trust his agency on his own senses, and he tells me he can't smell, so he's not here today.
6:53 Pablo Torre? Useless. And so I was like, who in the world can fill this third chair?
6:59 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
7:00 Pablo Torre? And I said, okay, who, uh, hosts a show that I love?
7:04 Speaker 03 Thank you.
7:04 Speaker 02 Check.
7:04 Pablo Torre? Check. Who was able to convince me, using the word, uh, "master perfumer"?
7:10 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, yeah.
7:11 Pablo Torre? That, uh, he has some knowledge of cologne.
7:13 Speaker 03 Perfumier? I don't even know somebody that...
7:16 Pablo Torre? You did say that in the kitchen earlier.
7:17 Speaker 02 Is there a word? Perfumier?
7:19 Pablo Torre? I don't know, he was referencing a guy.
7:21 Speaker 02 You do know.
7:22 Speaker 03 His name is Rodrigo. I don't know his last name.
7:23 Speaker 02 You do know.
7:24 Pablo Torre? Met a perfumier named Rodrigo, and I was like, that's plenty.
7:27 Speaker 02 What else could a man named Rodrigo do for a living?
7:29 Speaker 03 That's the nose nose right there.
7:31 Pablo Torre? I believe you also said, quote, in a text, "I know what I like and have gotten a lot of expensive [BLEEP] for free."
7:36 Speaker 03 Yes, that is a fact. Hundred percent.
7:39 Speaker 02 All right.
7:39 Pablo Torre? Katie, what do you know about cologne?
7:41 Speaker 02 Nothing.
7:41 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
7:42 Speaker 02 Don't wear it. I don't wear perfume. I guess girl cologne.
7:46 Speaker 03 Cologne for girls.
7:47 Speaker 02 But then again, like, I get, I'm, I, the man, the object of my affection can't smell. So what am I wasting my time smelling all nice for?
7:55 Pablo Torre? Just farting with impunity.
7:56 Speaker 02 Yeah, exactly. But I think I like know if I like the way something smells.
8:00 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
8:01 Speaker 02 Not afraid to say it.
8:02 Pablo Torre? So, we have, in this corner of the room, eleven different
8:08 Speaker 02 Eleven.
8:08 Pablo Torre? athletes slash celebrity colognes slash perfumes. They've created a whole system. We're gonna blind smell the [BLEEP].
8:16 Speaker 02 Okay. Can we not call it [BLEEP]?
8:17 Pablo Torre? Fragrances is what I'm being told in my ear by Rob, who collected all of this stuff. Not to denigrate the genre.
8:23 Speaker 02 Are we doing it like, like they do at a counter where they spray it on a little thing and then they waft it in front of your nose like that?
8:27 Pablo Torre? You will see. We have, we have testers, pre-sprayed.
8:31 Speaker 02 Great.
8:32 Pablo Torre? Each individually bagged. And we have reveals in which we will find out what it was.
8:38 Speaker 02 Hope it's in a plastic bag.
8:39 Pablo Torre? Some notes, literally and figuratively.
8:41 Speaker 02 The notes of plastic.
8:42 Speaker 03 Yeah, I wonder if this is how like, this is not an official method.
8:45 Speaker 02 Doesn't feel it.
8:46 Pablo Torre? Okay, I'm being told to defend the method. There's a whole method?
8:50 Speaker 03 Sorry, boys.
8:55 Pablo Torre? Long before the athlete weed strain and celebrity tequila brands, famous people were selling vanity fragrances. And so I figured with about a month before Valentine's Day, that we might do everybody out there a service. So if you're listening to this instead of watching it on YouTube, what you should know about our method here is that Katie Nolan, Lawrence Schlossman, and I are going into this whole exercise completely blind. That means we're gonna start by taking these pre-sprayed paper strips of the vanity fragrance. In question, out of a Ziploc bag, at which point we will give our unbiased review of it, using only our sense of smell. And we're not going to find out which celebrity it even is
9:40 Pablo Torre? until the end of that segment, when we open a sealed paper bag to reveal the bottle our producers bought for us inside. But if you are, in fact, watching this on YouTube or the DraftKings Network, our producers are also going to try something a little bit different for you. Because they are going to show you the celebrity behind each fragrance early, and completely silently, just on screen, while we're doing our smell test, so you can know and see how powerful, or not, our noses are before we do. This is apparently the experience our producers had while watching us tape this episode. And this episode, by the way, will keep escalating as we get deeper and deeper into this list of 11 mystery fragrances,
10:25 Pablo Torre? about which we know absolutely nothing. And that is for better and also, spoiler alert, for worse.
10:34 Pablo Torre? We begin with fragrance number one.
10:41 Speaker 02 Oh, this smells like my dad 30 years ago.
10:43 Speaker 03 This is bright.
10:44 Speaker 02 Sorry?
10:45 Speaker 03 Bright.
10:46 Speaker 02 Okay.
10:47 Pablo Torre? Meaning it perks you up, almost?
10:49 Speaker 03 No, just fresh, bright.
10:50 Speaker 02 It smells like dad. It smells like aftershave dad.
10:52 Pablo Torre? It smells like a bunch of dads rolling around in a field.
10:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, this smells like dad camp.
10:58 Speaker 03 Get a little barbershop?
10:59 Speaker 02 Okay.
11:00 Pablo Torre? It smells like suppressed emotional accessibility. But it does-
11:04 Speaker 03 Unrequited love and affection.
11:06 Pablo Torre? But there is an aftershave aspect to this.
11:09 Speaker 02 This smells like a family function that I have to go to and give a lot of hugs at when I'm there.
11:14 Speaker 03 Hugs with men?
11:15 Speaker 02 Yes.
11:16 Pablo Torre? Does it smell expensive to you?
11:18 Speaker 03 Honestly, kind of. A little bit.
11:21 Speaker 02 A little because it has this like, here we go.
11:23 Speaker 03 New money, new money.
11:24 Speaker 02 It has this depth in the back end of it. It dips down in a way that you're like, oh, there's-
11:29 Pablo Torre? It's dipping?
11:30 Speaker 02 There's more to this, yeah. There's more to this than meets the eye. Nose, ear, or throat. Yeah, that's- Nice. It's nice.
11:39 Pablo Torre? I came in expecting like, I'm gonna [BLEEP] all over this, and then I'm like, "Ah, this feels like, kinda like the man that I once imagined I would be one day." Is it time to reveal?
11:47 Speaker 02 Should we put these back in the one bag?
11:49 Speaker 03 Oh yeah. Lock them up.
11:50 Speaker 02 Or do we need to keep them for context?
11:52 Pablo Torre? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put them in the bag so that we can isolate the scents.
11:54 Speaker 02 Then we can never go back and smell it.
11:56 Speaker 03 Oh, let's get some ASMR there, Pablo.
11:58 Speaker 02 It's like lunch.
12:01 Pablo Torre? This is, and I don't know the answer to this either until right now, Michael Jordan's Cologne.
12:09 Speaker 02 Did not do it.
12:10 Speaker 03 De Cologne, spray.
12:12 Pablo Torre? Va po di saccio.
12:13 Speaker 02 Did you say it smelled like dead dad?
12:14 Speaker 03 No, we were talking about like, male relatives. I said, "A required love and affection."
12:18 Speaker 02 Oh my god. Oh wow!
12:20 Pablo Torre? I mean...
12:21 Speaker 03 Murdered father.
12:22 Speaker 02 Yeah, smells like longing.
12:24 Pablo Torre? Hold on.
12:25 Speaker 02 Listen, guy sucks at tequila, but...
12:26 Pablo Torre? Let's examine.
12:27 Speaker 03 Look at this packaging here.
12:28 Pablo Torre? Look at this, yeah. Hold that. Describe it for the audience, please.
12:31 Speaker 03 There's a debossed basketball in the [BLEEP] glass. That's awesome.
12:35 Speaker 02 Yeah, that you could put your thumb in. That's actually quite nice. I would definitely be holding it that way while spraying it with the...
12:40 Pablo Torre? Has a flask ass-...
12:41 Speaker 03 This might pair well with like, cigar smoke and beer pong and...
12:47 Speaker 02 Taking things personally.
12:48 Pablo Torre? Gambling debt.
12:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
12:50 Pablo Torre? Michael Jordan by Michael Jordan is an aromatic fragrance for men. So we nailed that. The nose behind this fragrance is Steve De Mercado. That I believe is a term of art for the...
13:04 Speaker 02 The nose.
13:05 Speaker 03 Perfumier.
13:05 Pablo Torre? For the perfumier. Top notes are: Cypress, Grapefruit, Lemon, Cognac, Turanium, Cedar Needles, Brazilian Rosewood.
13:19 Speaker 02 Cedar Needy. That's fun to say.
13:20 Pablo Torre? Middle notes: Fur, Juniper Berries.
13:24 Speaker 02 Fur?
13:24 Pablo Torre? Lavender, F-I-R.
13:26 Speaker 03 No, I literally, my mind went, I was like, "Ah, uh, pelt."
13:30 Pablo Torre? Incense, green tea, clary sage and cloves, base notes are sandalwood, musk and patchouli.
13:37 Speaker 02 That's all I smell I'm learning. All I get are the base notes because the musk.
13:40 Speaker 03 I got some of that bright up top though. I can see that citrus. I know no one said that, but I kinda.
13:45 Speaker 02 I think he did. Did you describe what top, middle and low notes were?
13:49 Pablo Torre? But I will describe that for you now.
13:51 Speaker 02 Thanks.
13:51 Pablo Torre? Because a top note, according to the increasingly terrible AI overview on Google.
13:56 Speaker 02 Is when you eat rocks three days a day.
13:58 Speaker 03 I'm so lazy. I love that AI overview.
14:00 Pablo Torre? So much worse.
14:01 Speaker 02 It's not right.
14:02 Speaker 03 I don't care.
14:02 Pablo Torre? It's so much worse.
14:03 Speaker 03 Nothing I say is right anyway.
14:05 Pablo Torre? Top notes, the first scents you smell when you apply a fragrance, also known as head notes or opening notes. They're the most volatile of the three fragrance notes and are made up of small, light molecules that evaporate quickly. Top notes usually composed of citrus and fruity ingredients, but can also include fresh herbs.
14:21 Speaker 03 Some light top.
14:22 Pablo Torre? That is a fragrance that costs, what do you think?
14:25 Speaker 03 Fifty-five dollars.
14:27 Speaker 02 Fifty-six dollars.
14:29 Speaker 03 Oh, so we're doing price, price is right gross.
14:31 Pablo Torre? It's twenty-one dollars and thirty-six cents.
14:33 Speaker 03 Wow, what a deal.
14:34 Speaker 02 It's so cheap.
14:34 Pablo Torre? It smells more expensive.
14:37 Speaker 02 Ew, good. I don't, that smelled awful.
14:40 Speaker 03 Honestly though, once you know it's a twenty dollar cologne, it smells like.
14:43 Speaker 02 It smells like shit.
14:44 Pablo Torre? Does the silhouette of his bald head, unmistakably his bald head.
14:48 Speaker 02 Of course, yeah.
14:49 Pablo Torre? Embossed and also like some red foil, does that do anything for you?
14:52 Speaker 03 That's cheap. That's like you buy this at a grocery store.
14:55 Speaker 02 That sounded cheap.
14:55 Speaker 03 This is a Kroger's cologne.
14:57 Speaker 02 Damn.
14:57 Pablo Torre? Now, I'm told that between these scents, we should be.
15:02 Speaker 02 Smelling coffee?
15:03 Pablo Torre? Palate cleansing by sniffing some coffee or your elbow.
15:07 Speaker 02 Is this like Maxwell House?
15:08 Speaker 03 And we confirmed that this is an old wives tale, right?
15:11 Pablo Torre? I'm being told to remind you guys that we have no idea if this actually works.
15:14 Speaker 03 Right.
15:14 Pablo Torre? They also advise you to smell yourself.
15:17 Speaker 02 Is that what you were doing just then? I thought you were like sneezing in a weird way.
15:20 Pablo Torre? They say smell your own elbow. Number two.
15:23 Speaker 02 Yeah, number two.
15:28 Speaker 02 Oh, this one smells very different.
15:30 Speaker 03 Oh, this hit, this hit hard, dude.
15:31 Speaker 02 Very different.
15:31 Speaker 03 Was this sprayed one second ago?
15:33 Pablo Torre? These are sprayed two hours ago, for the record.
15:35 Speaker 02 It's very sweet.
15:36 Pablo Torre? By our lab full of scientists.
15:38 Speaker 03 Aquatic.
15:39 Pablo Torre? Mmm.
15:40 Speaker 03 Definitely sweeter. Katie's right.
15:42 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
15:43 Speaker 02 So it might be, does that mean it's perfume, do you think?
15:45 Speaker 03 Maybe. This, this is striking me as much more feminine.
15:49 Pablo Torre? Yes.
15:50 Speaker 03 Than MJ's musk.
15:51 Pablo Torre? Right, right, right.
15:53 Speaker 03 You wear this to your quinceañera. This is, that's what I'm getting, 100%. It's a sweet treat.
15:58 Speaker 02 This is like I'm, I'm reading a red book magazine and one of the pages is stuck together because of a perfume ad and I, I peel it off and it rips it open and I'm like, ooh.
16:09 Pablo Torre? Yeah, this is like a magazine where the pages are stuck together for different reasons.
16:15 Speaker 02 Okay, alright Pablo.
16:16 Speaker 03 Shout out Victoria's Secret.
16:18 Speaker 02 It almost smells like a perfume that is by a celebrity that I know of, but I don't think it's that.
16:22 Speaker 03 Like a Jessica Simpson Walmart?
16:26 Speaker 02 Yeah.
16:26 Speaker 03 Sweet?
16:27 Speaker 02 I said sweet.
16:28 Speaker 03 You said sweet.
16:29 Speaker 02 You just said it louder.
16:29 Pablo Torre? There aren't a lot of bass notes to this, is what I would say. This is like the antithesis of patchouli. This is not a barber shop. This is...
16:37 Speaker 02 It's florally, but like not really. It's like lightly, it's almost like a gardenia.
16:43 Pablo Torre? Like sophomore semi-formal. Like this is the scent that sticks in my mind years later when I'm trying to remember in my personal, uh, memory bank.
16:54 Speaker 03 Scent's memory.
16:55 Pablo Torre? That's right.
16:56 Speaker 02 It's a perfume.
16:56 Speaker 03 This is feminine. This is distinctly feminine, whereas I felt the first was distinctly masculine.
17:00 Speaker 02 I agree.
17:01 Speaker 03 Alright, so I think we're all on the same page. This is a perfume.
17:02 Pablo Torre? So let's, let's find out.
17:04 Speaker 03 Alright, this should be interesting. We're judging a cologne by its cover.
17:10 Pablo Torre? Whoa.
17:11 Speaker 03 Ooh.
17:12 Pablo Torre? Ooh.
17:12 Speaker 02 Excuse me?
17:13 Pablo Torre? A...
17:14 Speaker 02 For boys?
17:15 Pablo Torre? There are no words on this. Can you describe this, Katie?
17:17 Speaker 02 This may be for boys.
17:18 Speaker 03 That [bleep] is green.
17:18 Speaker 02 This is Seahawks perfume. The color of the liquid is green unless that's the glass. Nope, it's the liquid. It is Mountain Dew colored and the...
17:27 Pablo Torre? It is ectocooler.
17:28 Speaker 02 That's right.
17:28 Speaker 03 It looks delicious.
17:29 Speaker 02 This is for boys.
17:30 Pablo Torre? A product known as Avon Untouchable.
17:33 Speaker 02 Okay.
17:34 Pablo Torre? By Chris Paul.
17:35 Speaker 03 Wow.
17:36 Speaker 02 Huh.
17:36 Pablo Torre? I do regret my previous description. How much you think this costs?
17:40 Speaker 03 Why is there no branding?
17:42 Pablo Torre? There's...
17:43 Speaker 02 Good, also, good question.
17:45 Speaker 03 Did this drop when he was on the Pelicans? What is happening here?
17:47 Pablo Torre? Right.
17:48 Speaker 02 It's so crooked, too. It's like every part of it is leaning.
17:51 Speaker 03 It doesn't sit right.
17:52 Speaker 02 It sits, and then also this. So it's like, if you're gonna do that, then at least make that flush with the... I don't know, man. I hate it. $12.
18:00 Speaker 03 Uh, okay, what did you guys pay? You guys paid $15.37.
18:05 Speaker 02 Probably $70.
18:06 Pablo Torre? We paid $28.99.
18:08 Speaker 02 Okay.
18:08 Speaker 03 Wow.
18:08 Speaker 02 And you got fleeced.
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19:48 Pablo Torre? Head to dell.com/deals. That's dell.com/deals.
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21:57 Speaker 02 Alright, gals, here we go. These are wet, these are all wet. I don't know where to touch these, because they're all wet.
22:05 Speaker 03 Ooh.
22:06 Speaker 02 Ooh! That's, now that's different!
22:09 Pablo Torre? This is very different.
22:10 Speaker 02 This is very different.
22:11 Pablo Torre? We are redefining the spectrum of femininity, I dare say.
22:15 Speaker 02 That is a scented marker from, uh, from, from like, elementary school.
22:19 Pablo Torre? Get high off the [BLEEP].
22:20 Speaker 02 If you get too close to the blue or purple marker...
22:23 Pablo Torre? I'm gonna briefly huff the Ziploc bag, as you would with... Yeah.
22:28 Speaker 03 I gotta be careful, I got an addictive personality, guys.
22:31 Pablo Torre? Lauren's gonna take the Ziploc bag home with her.
22:33 Speaker 02 Next week, you're just on Galaxy gas.
22:35 Speaker 03 What color marker? I love that, because I'm getting like...
22:37 Speaker 02 It's, I think it's like the, almost like, maybe the brown... Remember the brown one was always like, "What is this?"
22:41 Speaker 03 I'm not like, a fan.
22:43 Speaker 02 Could you picture it on someone? Because to me, even though it's making me think of a marker, if I'm picturing it on someone, it's a very older woman.
22:50 Speaker 03 Your great aunt?
22:51 Speaker 02 A very older woman.
22:52 Pablo Torre? The person who wears this fragrance has a padded toilet seat.
22:55 Speaker 03 And a small dog.
22:57 Speaker 02 I love a padded toilet seat.
22:59 Pablo Torre? I hate a padded toilet seat.
23:00 Speaker 02 Like, not to have, and obviously the bacteria of it, but remember how nice it was when you would sit?
23:03 Pablo Torre? No, it's the worst. It's like [BLEEP] into a pillow.
23:05 Speaker 02 Yeah. Which... Kinda nice.
23:08 Pablo Torre? Not here to yuck your yum.
23:09 Speaker 02 If this is a cologne, I'll eat my hat.
23:12 Pablo Torre? I am getting the sense, though, why people are into Galaxy gas, though. Which I have discovered as a thing among kids. And possibly adults.
23:18 Speaker 03 I've heard, it's good [BLEEP].
23:19 Pablo Torre? Allegedly.
23:20 Speaker 02 Don't use it, it puts [BLEEP] holes in your brain, okay?
23:23 Speaker 03 You're gonna whip it?
23:24 Speaker 02 No, because it puts holes in your [BLEEP].
23:26 Pablo Torre? Remember when we visited, uh, we can bleep this institution out?
23:29 Speaker 02 Yes, yes! And they, and they moved a pillow and a billion cartons...
23:35 Pablo Torre? Shell casings?
23:36 Speaker 02 Little shell casings of, um, of little CO2 carts.
23:39 Pablo Torre? Katie and I went to a party because someone else brought us to this.
23:43 Speaker 02 Mina?
23:44 Pablo Torre? Mina, at [BLEEP].
23:45 Speaker 02 There you go.
23:46 Pablo Torre? And the floor was like, a shooting range where they were just like...
23:51 Speaker 03 Hell yeah.
23:52 Pablo Torre? Gatling gunning.
23:53 Speaker 02 I was like, you're our future. You're our brightest. You're our best and our brightest.
23:57 Speaker 03 So this is Galaxy Gas for your great aunt. Which you probably prescribed already.
24:01 Speaker 02 Do not like. Back in the bag it goes.
24:03 Pablo Torre? If someone is wearing this, I am, I am not into that person. Alright, let's see what it is. Katie Nolan.
24:09 Speaker 02 No, it's not Britney Spears. No, it's not Britney Spears. That's not Curious. I've worn Curious.
24:15 Speaker 03 You thought.
24:16 Speaker 02 I thought. Why is it in the full box, you guys? No. Am I thinking of a different Britney Spears fragrance?
24:22 Pablo Torre? So apparently, there are two different types of Britney Spears fragrances. Curious and Curious Love.
24:27 Speaker 03 Whoa.
24:28 Speaker 02 Wait, is the Curious Love in a pink round bottle with little green dots on it?
24:33 Pablo Torre? It is.
24:34 Speaker 02 That's the one I wore.
24:35 Speaker 03 So they're both inquisitive fragrances, but one is romance driven?
24:39 Pablo Torre? I love that Katie wore a version of this perfume.
24:44 Speaker 02 I loved Britney Spears. I love Britney Spears.
24:46 Pablo Torre? The Curious Woman, and this is capital C, the Curious Woman is romantic? Check. Independent? Check. Mischievous?
24:54 Speaker 02 You're talking about me? A romantic?
24:56 Pablo Torre? Romantic, independent, and mis- and mischievous.
24:58 Speaker 02 Okay.
24:59 Pablo Torre? One who's not afraid of risk.
25:00 Speaker 02 This is such a small bottle. Like, you're getting so little actual product.
25:04 Speaker 03 I wonder what the price then, the damage on this for getting so little, seemingly.
25:08 Speaker 02 I would say this is forty, forty bucks.
25:10 Speaker 03 Best bottle, though, yeah.
25:11 Pablo Torre? Describe the bottle, please.
25:13 Speaker 02 A genie bottle, but it's, uh, which, you know, Christina Aguilera. But it's very, like, angular on the ends. It's like, almost like a clam shell. It's blue, light blue.
25:23 Pablo Torre? Thirty milliliters.
25:24 Speaker 02 Thirty milliliters, tiny little guy.
25:26 Speaker 03 Like a diamond?
25:28 Speaker 02 Maybe. It kinda does look like a cartoon diamond.
25:31 Speaker 03 Alright, well, this is definitely a Walmart thing. So I'm gonna go fifteen.
25:37 Speaker 02 It's definitely a Walmart thing. What do you mean by that?
25:40 Speaker 03 Because Britney Spears has to deal with Walmart, right?
25:41 Pablo Torre? Launched in oh four, became an instant hit with the public. Composition is based on the notes of white flowers, surrounded with vanilla and musk nuances. It opens with fresh lotus, mouthwatering pear and magnolia, the intensive floral heart.
25:53 Speaker 02 Pear is there, for sure.
25:54 Pablo Torre? The intensive floral heart.
25:56 Speaker 02 Like me.
25:56 Pablo Torre? Is composed of tuberose? Tubrose?
26:01 Pablo Torre? Jasmine and Pink Cyclomen, Cyclomen?
26:05 Speaker 02 Those are my three favorite Disney princesses.
26:07 Pablo Torre? That's what the, uh, the wise men brought in Britney Spears's.
26:10 Speaker 02 Yes, Frankincense and Pink Psilocybin.
26:14 Pablo Torre? The sensual base is composed of Musk, Vanilla, and Precious Woods.
26:18 Speaker 03 Sensual base?
26:20 Pablo Torre? Precious Woods.
26:21 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's a lot, Brit.
26:22 Pablo Torre? It is the kind of scent that, uh, makes your parents want to control your finances.
26:28 Speaker 03 Oh, I was gonna say get divorced.
26:30 Pablo Torre? Katie, Lawrence had fifteen dollars.
26:33 Speaker 02 Uh, I'm gonna say thirty, uh, thirty dollars.
26:37 Pablo Torre? Britney Spears, Curious.
26:40 Speaker 02 Yeah.
26:41 Pablo Torre? Sixteen dollars and seventy-four cents.
26:42 Speaker 03 Wow.
26:43 Speaker 02 Wow.
26:43 Pablo Torre? This man knows what real America wants to smell.
26:45 Speaker 02 Finger on the scent pulse.
26:47 Speaker 03 Yeah, dude. I know they want lotus flower for sixteen bones.
26:50 Pablo Torre? Precious Wood. Number four.
26:55 Speaker 02 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wow! You guys spray these and put them right in the bag?
26:59 Speaker 03 Holy [BLEEP].
27:00 Speaker 02 Oh my god.
27:01 Pablo Torre? Whoa.
27:01 Speaker 03 Yo, dude. You are waiting online to get in the club. This is...
27:05 Speaker 02 Oh my god, you are talking to me about something I don't care about!
27:10 Speaker 03 This is gasoline.
27:11 Speaker 02 Oh my god, you won't shut up. Mmm.
27:14 Pablo Torre? I just got roofied by this fragrance.
27:16 Speaker 02 Oh my god! Crypto? This smells like crypto?
27:21 Speaker 02 Oh my god. It's tough to put near your nose.
27:25 Speaker 03 He still owns NFTs. Like, this is so bad.
27:27 Speaker 02 This guy had got one of those, those apes.
27:29 Pablo Torre? This fragrance owns multiple board apes.
27:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
27:32 Pablo Torre? Uh, says Diamond Hands unironically.
27:35 Speaker 03 This is, this is a rough one.
27:37 Speaker 02 It's really alcoholic.
27:39 Speaker 03 I might have to tap out. That's really, really heinous. That's not good.
27:43 Pablo Torre? Yeah, you hate to see this fragrance at a college reunion.
27:47 Speaker 03 It's just too much.
27:48 Speaker 02 It's too much, it's...
27:49 Pablo Torre? I wanna say European, but that might be too derogatory to Europe.
27:54 Speaker 02 It's a coked up business pitch. It's a like, dude, I think, I really think we should... I think we should talk about investments.
28:01 Pablo Torre? I cannot wait to find out what this is.
28:02 Speaker 02 I know, I hope it's like, uh, ooh, I just hope it's an athlete I don't like.
28:11 Speaker 03 Yes.
28:14 Speaker 03 Yes, CR7 dude.
28:15 Speaker 02 Yes.
28:16 Speaker 03 Yes.
28:16 Pablo Torre? Cristiano Ronaldo popping out of this paper bag could not have been more perfect.
28:23 Speaker 03 You're missing the operative word, origins.
28:25 Pablo Torre? Origins.
28:27 Speaker 03 Holy.
28:27 Pablo Torre? He's described what the packaging of this is like.
28:30 Speaker 02 I'm so happy right now.
28:32 Pablo Torre? Our nose is just.
28:33 Speaker 03 You would think that he would just go shirtless, right? But he's wearing a shirt, completely unbuttoned.
28:38 Speaker 02 Yeah.
28:38 Speaker 03 With the kind of come hither look that an absolute moron is gonna snatch right off the shelf. This is.
28:46 Pablo Torre? Look at that expression.
28:47 Speaker 02 At the top where you push, where you inflict damage upon. Says CR7, but it kinda looks like it says cry, and I love that. Oh my god, that's fucking brutal.
28:59 Speaker 03 That is fragrance imitating fucking life.
29:02 Pablo Torre? This is a new fragrance, CR7 Origins was launched in 2022. Top notes are bay leaf, mandarin orange.
29:07 Speaker 02 Bay leaf?
29:07 Speaker 03 I know.
29:08 Speaker 02 What is this, a soup?
29:09 Speaker 03 Send this perfumee to the Hague dude, this is terrible.
29:12 Pablo Torre? Middle notes are clary sage, lavender, and geranium. Base notes are patchouli and.
29:17 Speaker 02 Ass.
29:18 Speaker 03 Dog shit.
29:19 Speaker 02 And cheeks, spread cheeks. How much?
29:24 Pablo Torre? What are you guys saying?
29:25 Speaker 02 I said 50.
29:25 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
29:26 Speaker 02 I said 60.
29:26 Speaker 03 $68.
29:28 Pablo Torre? 25.56.
29:29 Speaker 02 Thank god, thank god, thank god. Okay Cristiano, you win this time. Oh, get it out as well.
29:33 Pablo Torre? Oh no.
29:34 Speaker 02 Oh my god, oh my god, contain it.
29:35 Pablo Torre? Where's the bag?
29:36 Speaker 02 Contain it.
29:36 Pablo Torre? Where's the bag?
29:37 Speaker 02 I don't know.
29:38 Speaker 03 We have a breach.
29:39 Speaker 02 It breached, oh god.
29:41 Speaker 03 See, how do you, how do you get it off our fingers?
29:43 Speaker 02 Oh my god, it is on my fingers, ew.
29:46 Speaker 03 It lingers.
29:47 Speaker 02 Oh, don't smell my finger.
29:49 Pablo Torre? Number five.
29:53 Speaker 02 Oh, it's cinnamon. Oh, it's spice.
29:56 Speaker 03 Oh.
29:57 Speaker 02 Oh, it's all spice, it's.
29:59 Pablo Torre? Mmm.
29:59 Speaker 02 Old spice, it's.
30:01 Pablo Torre? It's pungent.
30:02 Speaker 02 Five spice.
30:04 Speaker 03 It is like in your spice cabinet or rack where all the spices have been and they all kind of Voltron to be, you know? It's like every, all spices.
30:13 Pablo Torre? Yeah, this is the bottom of your grinder if you smoked spices.
30:16 Speaker 03 Hmm.
30:17 Speaker 02 Oh, it's.
30:17 Pablo Torre? Settling in. At a certain point, the spiciness begins to wear a suit.
30:23 Speaker 03 Hmm. I'm kinda fucking with it now.
30:25 Speaker 02 Okay, but then on the back, it's like sweet and, and almost floral? In the back, it's like...
30:32 Pablo Torre? Yeah, this back, there's a lot going on.
30:34 Speaker 02 Baby got it.
30:36 Speaker 03 It settles in tenderly.
30:37 Pablo Torre? Yes.
30:38 Speaker 02 Yes, it holds you nicely.
30:39 Pablo Torre? We've been on a run of three straight ass fragrances.
30:43 Speaker 03 This is growing on me.
30:44 Speaker 02 This is nice. This smells expensive.
30:47 Speaker 03 Yeah.
30:47 Pablo Torre? This feels like a chance that you're taking. You're going out and you're like, "I'm gonna try to be this guy, and I'm kind of intrigued by what this guy's life is like."
30:57 Speaker 03 Yeah, maybe some type of performative accessory, you know? A new hat.
31:01 Speaker 02 You try a hat, but you might take it off halfway through because you're crushing, crushed under the weight of it.
31:05 Pablo Torre? This is the new hat.
31:06 Speaker 03 Ordering a drink that you never order because you're like, "This kind of feels right tonight."
31:11 Pablo Torre? This is Cristiano Ronaldo's friend, who in comparison is the guy you want to spend the... your night out with. This is Cristiano Ronaldo with his shirt buttoned up.
31:23 Speaker 03 Just being normal.
31:25 Speaker 02 I think I quite like it. I reserve the right to say I hate it once I see whose it is.
31:30 Pablo Torre? Very good.
31:32 Pablo Torre? Let's find out.
31:32 Speaker 02 I'll put it in the bag because we cannot have another breach.
31:34 Speaker 03 It's Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes in the Guy Ritchie movies.
31:38 Speaker 02 I do think that's nice.
31:39 Pablo Torre? Guys.
31:40 Speaker 02 No, what is it?
31:43 Speaker 03 Yeah, see?
31:44 Speaker 02 David Beckham! You sexy [BLEEP].
31:46 Pablo Torre? We nailed it.
31:46 Speaker 02 I think so too.
31:47 Pablo Torre? I think [BLEEP] nailed it.
31:48 Speaker 03 You know, no, David Beckham nailed it.
31:50 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's a really good fragrance, David. I quite like that.
31:54 Pablo Torre? Instinct.
31:55 Speaker 02 Spice. What did [BLEEP] the first thing I said when I smelled it a bunch? Spice.
31:58 Pablo Torre? Rewind the tape.
31:59 Speaker 02 Posh Spice, I said.
32:01 Pablo Torre? Wow.
32:01 Speaker 02 This is posh spice.
32:02 Speaker 03 And it is a posh smelling.
32:03 Speaker 02 Oh my god, I do love this. Should we take a look at the bottle?
32:06 Pablo Torre? I think we're really good at this?
32:07 Speaker 02 I think we should do this for our living. I'm canceling my podcast and I'm starting. I mean, that just looks like cologne. That looks like a bottle of cologne.
32:15 Pablo Torre? But even the box, a classy box.
32:17 Speaker 02 Classy box. The posh spice.
32:20 Pablo Torre? Many are saying.
32:21 Speaker 03 This is like his version of Tom Ford cologne branding, almost like exactly.
32:26 Speaker 02 Even nicer in the bottle, if I may say.
32:29 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
32:29 Pablo Torre? Notes. We're back to the vetiver. Bergamot or Bergamo?
32:34 Speaker 02 I think it's bergamot, but don't quote me.
32:37 Pablo Torre? Which is like a yellow fruit. An orange, some are saying. A mandarin orange is another one. Star anise. Pimento.
32:45 Speaker 02 OK.
32:46 Pablo Torre? Pachuli.
32:47 Speaker 02 Yeah.
32:48 Pablo Torre? Cardamom.
32:49 Speaker 02 Cardamom.
32:50 Pablo Torre? White amber.
32:51 Speaker 03 I think we're missing the biggest thing. The juxtaposition between David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo.
32:55 Speaker 02 I didn't miss it.
32:56 Speaker 03 Comes down to having taste or no taste. This is a tasteful guy.
32:59 Speaker 02 Yeah.
33:00 Speaker 03 It's a tasteful fragrance.
33:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
33:02 Speaker 03 Cristiano Ronaldo, no taste, [BLEEP] gasoline.
33:05 Pablo Torre? The scene in the David Beckham doc, which I did not watch all of, but just have seen that scene.
33:09 Speaker 02 The car thing?
33:10 Pablo Torre? Yeah, exactly.
33:11 Speaker 06 We're very working, working class.
33:14 Speaker 07 Be honest.
33:15 Speaker 06 I am being honest. I am being honest.
33:19 Speaker 07 What car did your dad drive you to school in?
33:21 Speaker 06 So my dad did.
33:22 Speaker 07 No, one answer.
33:23 Speaker 06 My dad, well.
33:24 Speaker 07 What car was it?
33:25 Speaker 06 It's not a simple answer because.
33:27 Speaker 07 What car did you get your dad to drive you to school in?
33:30 Speaker 06 It depends.
33:31 Speaker 07 No, no, no, no, no.
33:31 Speaker 06 OK, in the eighties, my dad had a Rolls Royce.
33:35 Pablo Torre? So on that note, what do you think this runs?
33:38 Speaker 03 Yeah, this is expensive.
33:40 Speaker 02 On that floral note, I'm gonna say this is a sixty to seventy dollar bottle of perfume.
33:44 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'm thinking seventy-five.
33:46 Pablo Torre? Guys.
33:47 Speaker 02 Yeah.
33:47 Pablo Torre? This is nineteen dollars and twenty-five.
33:49 Speaker 03 Come on!
33:49 Speaker 02 Go buy it!
33:50 Speaker 03 The best nineteen you've ever spent.
33:52 Speaker 02 Go out there right now and buy it.
33:53 Speaker 03 Stocking stuffer.
33:54 Pablo Torre? Seventy-five million liters.
33:56 Speaker 02 Are we way wrong?
33:57 Speaker 03 That's a deal.
33:58 Pablo Torre? It's a deal.
33:59 Speaker 02 Are we super, is that a bad scent?
34:00 Speaker 03 It's a good fragrance. That's legit.
34:02 Pablo Torre? This is currently the top house leader.
34:04 Speaker 02 Yeah.
34:04 Speaker 03 Oh, without it, they're not even close to it.
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34:56 Pablo Torre? Cozy has everything you need to make your home feel like it has a plan because Cozy makes every part of the process easy. So visit Cozy today, that's C-O-Z-E-Y dot com, and make yourself at home. Life in 2026 is tough. We all have our struggles and we could all use some help. But trying to figure out how to get the right mental health treatment for you can feel overwhelming. Talkiatory helps you move from "I know I need help" to actually having a psychiatrist who listens and a clear personalized treatment plan. Talkiatory is 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management
35:39 Pablo Torre? for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and more. With Talkiatory, you can meet with a licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan, and supports you over time with consistent, evidence-based care. And all 800-plus clinicians are in-network with major insurers, so you can use your existing insurance instead of paying monthly subscriptions or out-of-network costs. Head to talkiatory.com/ptfo to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y dot com slash P-T-F-O to get matched in minutes. Talkiatory dot com slash P-T-F-O.
36:23 Pablo Torre? Did you know over 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated? And 90% don't get enough potassium, which is a key electrolyte responsible for energy, muscle function, and clear thinking? Well, that's why you can be drinking water all day and still feel tired, or foggy, or just off. And while most hydration packs really load up on the sugar, Instant Hydration contains zero sugar. There's no glucose spike and no sugar crash. And that is really important to me, because it not only gives me electrolytes without loading me up with sugar, but it also helps me avoid that late afternoon crash. You know, that time of day when your eyes start drooping as you reply to yet another email and you need something to get you back on track. Just mix a packet of Instant Hydration with water,
37:07 Pablo Torre? and I am feeling ready to push through to the end of the day. For a better way to stay hydrated, go to instanthydration.com/ptfo and use my promo code P-T-F-O for over 40% off your first subscription order. It's Instant Hydration's best offer available. That's instanthydration.com/ptfo, promo code P-T-F-O.
37:35 Pablo Torre? Number six.
37:41 Pablo Torre? Whoa.
37:42 Speaker 02 Yowza!
37:42 Speaker 03 Alright, this needs to breathe.
37:43 Speaker 02 It's wet!
37:45 Pablo Torre? This is very wet.
37:46 Speaker 03 Wetter than Bex got you?
37:47 Speaker 02 Oh, boy! This is something else.
37:51 Pablo Torre? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:53 Speaker 02 That's cinnamon, that's...
37:55 Speaker 03 Ooh, I hate this.
37:57 Speaker 02 That's heavy musk. That is Elon as [BLEEP].
38:00 Pablo Torre? My reaction to smelling this is like a meerkat popping out of a burrow, and I'm deciding whether to pop back down, and I think I'm back in the burrow.
38:08 Speaker 03 This is dirty.
38:09 Speaker 02 Sometimes you gotta pop out and smell fragrances.
38:11 Speaker 03 This is a little filthy.
38:13 Speaker 02 Okay, that is really not getting less strong.
38:16 Pablo Torre? This is a turn for the worse.
38:18 Speaker 03 It's becoming more...
38:19 Speaker 02 It smells like a woman wearing a suit for the first time. It feels like the first time a lady ever was like, "Women can wear suits as well." That woman wore this perfume.
38:28 Speaker 03 It smells like shoulder pads.
38:29 Speaker 02 Right. It smells like a shoulder pad, a big gold button.
38:33 Pablo Torre? This smells like the foam...
38:35 Speaker 02 She can! Let's see it.
38:37 Speaker 03 If it's for a man, I'll be surprised.
38:40 Speaker 02 Gobsmacked.
38:41 Pablo Torre? This is a big package.
38:42 Speaker 02 Okay.
38:45 Speaker 03 No!
38:45 Speaker 02 Gobsmacked.
38:46 Speaker 03 Oh, my [BLEEP] Brady!
38:48 Speaker 02 Oh, my god, Tom Brady. I thought it was Chris Pratt. I don't think that's on!
38:52 Speaker 03 You thought... How light-skinned is Chris Brown?
38:55 Speaker 02 No, Chris Pratt. I don't think about that other guy. I don't say that person's name.
39:01 Pablo Torre? Tom Brady.
39:02 Speaker 02 First of all, Stetson, Tom Brady.
39:03 Speaker 03 So collab with the hat company?
39:05 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:06 Pablo Torre? Damn!
39:07 Speaker 03 You got your cologne at the hat store?
39:08 Speaker 02 Also where my friend went to college, Stetson.
39:11 Pablo Torre? Oh.
39:11 Speaker 03 To learn how to make hats?
39:13 Speaker 02 Experience a true original, Stetson, the legendary fragrance of the American West. A rich, masculine blend of rugged woods and spice.
39:21 Speaker 03 This is a miss.
39:21 Speaker 02 Baby, baby, baby, no!
39:23 Speaker 03 Incomplete.
39:24 Pablo Torre? Base notes.
39:24 Speaker 02 Sandalwood.
39:25 Pablo Torre? Musk, vanilla, honey, tonka bean.
39:28 Speaker 02 Tonka bean?
39:30 Speaker 03 What's that?
39:30 Pablo Torre? Tonka trucks also make beans. Much like Stetson also wears twenty minutes colognes.
39:34 Speaker 03 He has for breakfast.
39:35 Speaker 02 That's what you get at Tonka Bell.
39:37 Pablo Torre? That's right. What do you think it costs?
39:39 Speaker 02 $12.99.
39:41 Speaker 03 $55.
39:43 Pablo Torre? $30.47. This is the most expensive cologne so far.
39:48 Speaker 02 Really?
39:50 Pablo Torre? Correct.
39:54 Pablo Torre? We've done a lot of patriarchal scouting of these fragrances. This?
40:01 Speaker 03 This is the first lady.
40:02 Pablo Torre? This, this is a lady that we should respect.
40:05 Speaker 03 This is Dr. Jill Biden. God rest her soul.
40:08 Speaker 02 What?
40:09 Pablo Torre? Dr. Jill.
40:10 Speaker 02 Still with us.
40:11 Speaker 03 Imagine you found out that's how she died, though, right now?
40:13 Speaker 02 Wait, what?
40:16 Speaker 02 Not Dr. Jill.
40:18 Speaker 03 This is soft and delicate and...
40:22 Pablo Torre? Oh, they'd buy laundry to kind of smell like this? You know?
40:25 Speaker 03 Yeah, or my bed sheets, you know?
40:27 Pablo Torre? Yes.
40:27 Speaker 02 Wow, sexist again.
40:28 Pablo Torre? I want this to make me a delicious sandwich.
40:30 Speaker 02 I want this to cook for me.
40:32 Speaker 03 I guess I could still be sexist even though I'm married, but I'm not.
40:36 Pablo Torre? There's a subtlety here.
40:39 Speaker 02 This smells like how I remember that Britney Spears perfume smelling.
40:42 Speaker 03 Is this the romance version?
40:44 Speaker 02 I don't think they would do both.
40:45 Pablo Torre? I don't, I don't know.
40:46 Speaker 03 These diabolical monsters?
40:47 Speaker 02 It's fruity in the back. You get that, like, apple...
40:51 Speaker 03 What'd you say?
40:52 Speaker 02 It's fruity in the back.
40:53 Pablo Torre? Fruity in the back?
40:54 Speaker 02 It is, guys, grow up. It's fruity in the back.
40:57 Speaker 03 I like this.
40:58 Pablo Torre? I like this.
40:59 Speaker 03 I like this.
40:59 Pablo Torre? I like this.
41:00 Speaker 02 Alright, guys, marry it, why don't you? Jesus. Simps.
41:04 Speaker 03 Alright, this is for sure perfume.
41:06 Speaker 02 It's not gonna sleep with you. So I'm just being people on the internet when you're nice to a lady.
41:12 Speaker 02 Hope she sees this, bro.
41:13 Speaker 03 Yeah, you can't just be polite.
41:15 Speaker 02 No.
41:17 Speaker 03 I mean, they're still correct, probably, but, yeah.
41:20 Speaker 02 This is nice.
41:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
41:22 Pablo Torre? This is the winner.
41:22 Speaker 02 We're not saying enough, it's classy. Yes, it's light, it's...
41:25 Pablo Torre? But also feminine enough to satisfy, again, my most, uh... aspirational alpha desires.
41:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, okay.
41:34 Speaker 03 Pablo is fully torched.
41:36 Speaker 02 Because I look at Pablo and I think of his alpha. How alpha.
41:39 Speaker 03 I like it. I like it a lot.
41:41 Speaker 02 Pablo's mad. I can't make eye contact when Pablo always smells this. It's making me very uncomfortable.
41:46 Pablo Torre? Look at me!
41:46 Speaker 02 No! It's nice. It's, it's light, it's floral, it's fruity.
41:50 Speaker 03 This is wonderful.
41:51 Speaker 02 It's like, almost like a peach or like a...
41:53 Pablo Torre? This is like the drink you order at dinner and your friends are like, beginning to make fun of you, and then you're like, try it.
41:58 Speaker 02 They're like, is this, is that elderflower in there? And you're like, just take a sip.
42:01 Pablo Torre? A bet, you regret making fun of me now.
42:03 Speaker 03 Soft.
42:04 Pablo Torre? Let's see what number seven is.
42:05 Speaker 02 Soft. Soft as baby [BLEEP].
42:10 Pablo Torre? Wow.
42:11 Speaker 02 Jennifer Lopez.
42:15 Speaker 02 This is me now.
42:17 Pablo Torre? This is us now.
42:19 Speaker 02 Still.
42:20 Pablo Torre? She did it again. She did it again.
42:23 Speaker 02 God, that f***ing J Lo.
42:24 Pablo Torre? She is still.
42:26 Speaker 02 What can't she do?
42:27 Pablo Torre? Damn.
42:27 Speaker 02 What can't she do?
42:28 Pablo Torre? That tracks.
42:29 Speaker 02 Be still my heart.
42:30 Pablo Torre? The block. Katie and I have made fun of J Lo in the past. I apologize.
42:36 Speaker 02 She popped out recently, I want to say it was something political, in a brown outfit that my jaw was on the floor.
42:43 Pablo Torre? This is what a celebrity smells like.
42:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:46 Pablo Torre? It's called still.
42:48 Speaker 03 That's good.
42:49 Speaker 02 That's nice. I like that.
42:49 Pablo Torre? Katie's contemplating making this for daily driver.
42:51 Speaker 02 Seventeen ninety-nine. My daily driver.
42:53 Speaker 03 Seventeen ninety-nine.
42:54 Speaker 02 And this is my Adam Driver. Seventy ninety-nine.
42:55 Speaker 03 I bet it, because I guarantee you she's moving bricks of this.
42:59 Pablo Torre? Hmm.
42:59 Speaker 03 Ah, twenty bucks.
43:01 Pablo Torre? Twenty-six dollars and twenty-three cents.
43:03 Speaker 02 And worth every penny, I think. Very beautiful. Very beautiful, very delicate. That's why you can't make eye contact with her when you see her.
43:09 Speaker 03 This is aspirational for a certain type of J Lo head, for sure.
43:13 Speaker 02 J Lo, you did it again.
43:15 Speaker 03 Feed my kids tonight, or f***ing smell like J Lo.
43:17 Speaker 02 I get that J Lo out my nose.
43:18 Pablo Torre? This next fragrance needs to earn it. They can't coast on, so many have. They cannot coast on the legacy of Jennifer Lopez.
43:29 Pablo Torre? Huh.
43:30 Speaker 03 This literally smells like the Standard Hotel in Miami. Pablo and I were talking about this earlier. This just smells like their lobby scent. Which is definitely something way more expensive and better than whatever this is, but...
43:40 Speaker 02 Soapy to me.
43:41 Speaker 03 This is nice.
43:41 Speaker 02 Soapy.
43:42 Speaker 03 In a bad way?
43:43 Speaker 02 Yeah. It smells, um...
43:46 Pablo Torre? I...
43:47 Speaker 02 Very soapy.
43:48 Pablo Torre? I like a luxury hotel lobby.
43:51 Speaker 03 Yeah.
43:51 Speaker 02 I know this about, we all know this about you.
43:54 Speaker 03 I like this.
43:55 Pablo Torre? There is restraint. I credit this for its restraint.
44:01 Speaker 03 Are you getting perfume or cologne?
44:03 Speaker 02 I don't, it's unisex, it feels.
44:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, right. I'm a fan. And if this is cheap enough, straight to cart.
44:11 Pablo Torre? Let's open up the bag.
44:14 Speaker 03 I'm really curious about this one. Wow! Why does Will Levis have a fragrance?
44:21 Speaker 02 Excuse me?
44:22 Speaker 03 And why is it so good?
44:24 Speaker 02 And why isn't it called Will Levis Stinks?
44:26 Pablo Torre? Read it more closely.
44:28 Speaker 02 Will Levis, number eight, Hellmann's Parfum de Mayonnaise.
44:33 Speaker 03 Yo, they killed it!
44:35 Speaker 02 That's so funny.
44:39 Speaker 03 He's in the commercials, right?
44:40 Pablo Torre? Yeah, so I-
44:41 Speaker 02 So funny that you guys thought-
44:43 Speaker 03 Can you buy this, or do you get it when you order a jar of Hellmann's?
44:46 Speaker 02 So it doesn't smell like mayonnaise, it wasn't supposed to, was it? Like, I don't-
44:49 Pablo Torre? So it is, to Lawrence's taste and appreciation for the finer things in life. This is impossible to find now, it's all sold out, can't get it.
44:56 Speaker 02 Ah, there you go, you should take it. Can't add to cart.
45:01 Pablo Torre? But they-
45:02 Speaker 03 It smells more like mayonnaise up close, and now that I know that-
45:06 Speaker 02 Liar, is it supposed to smell like mayo?
45:08 Speaker 03 Now that I've been told that it's mayonnaise.
45:09 Pablo Torre? Will Levis, number eight, Parfum de Mayonnaise, opens with a bright burst of tart lemon that provides a refreshing and clean introduction. At the heart of the fragrance lies a creamy, daring mayonnaise accord.
45:20 Speaker 02 What the f-
45:21 Speaker 03 Daring? Daring? Creamy and daring?
45:24 Pablo Torre? Creamy, daring, mayonnaise accord. Like it's Yalta.
45:28 Speaker 02 The Geneva ones.
45:30 Pablo Torre? Offering a smooth and complex heart. We're describing Lawrence so far, by the way.
45:37 Speaker 03 I am creamy and delightful.
45:39 Pablo Torre? And a complex heart.
45:40 Speaker 02 Okay.
45:40 Pablo Torre? Parsley adds a fresh herbal element reminiscent of a well-prepared dish, and of course, this fragrance would not be complete without subtle coffee undertones reminiscent of Will's signature mayonnaise-infused caffeine beverage.
45:49 Speaker 02 Didn't get those at all.
45:50 Pablo Torre? Apparently Will Levis is-
45:51 Speaker 02 Drinks mayo?
45:52 Pablo Torre? He has a signature mayonnaise-infused caffeine beverage.
45:55 Speaker 03 What?
45:55 Pablo Torre? This is a thing, right, he puts mayonnaise in his coffee.
45:57 Speaker 03 Wait, really, that's, and that's why they signed him? Levis quarterback at the University of Kentucky, and I have been known to put mayonnaise in my- Coffee sometimes.
46:11 Pablo Torre? A sensual musk base weaves through the composition, evoking physicality and charisma. Finally, we finish off with a comforting creamy vanilla finish that is equal parts inviting and intriguing.
46:20 Speaker 03 The vanilla was there.
46:22 Speaker 02 No.
46:22 Speaker 03 That's the hotel lobby.
46:24 Pablo Torre? I hesitate to say that Katie comes out looking great.
46:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, for sure.
46:28 Pablo Torre? Test.
46:28 Speaker 03 But it shouldn't be that good for what it is.
46:30 Speaker 02 They had no business trying as hard as it did.
46:33 Speaker 03 They put their whole [BLEEP] in.
46:35 Pablo Torre? [BLEEP] into that.
46:38 Speaker 02 They're mussy.
46:39 Speaker 03 Yeah.
46:41 Speaker 02 They're mayo-y.
46:42 Pablo Torre? I mean, it is creamy and, during.
46:45 Speaker 02 No, absolutely not.
47:01 Pablo Torre? Number nine.
47:06 Speaker 02 Very nice, very delicate. This feels like a lady to me.
47:09 Speaker 03 This smells generic to me.
47:11 Speaker 02 Hmm.
47:12 Speaker 03 Like a platonic ideal of perfume.
47:14 Speaker 02 Hmm.
47:15 Pablo Torre? It's almost evasive to me.
47:17 Speaker 02 Hmm.
47:18 Pablo Torre? In a world in which people are screaming, I'm not even sure what gender this is, honestly.
47:23 Speaker 02 Enigma.
47:24 Pablo Torre? A riddle.
47:25 Speaker 02 It's like a woodsy... I have such a headache from this.
47:29 Speaker 03 Yeah.
47:31 Speaker 02 Just to be clear.
47:32 Pablo Torre? Is it possible to be drunk off of smelling fragrances?
47:37 Speaker 02 When you picture perfume, you picture this smell.
47:39 Speaker 03 This is what you, yeah, you smell.
47:41 Pablo Torre? Dare I say that it almost feels like it's like an algorithmic.
47:45 Speaker 02 I liked it more at first than I do now.
47:47 Pablo Torre? This is a centrist. Admittedly, I'm a little gun shy also because I was just praising the mayo fragrance.
47:53 Speaker 03 Dude, the mayo is better than this. I don't care what comes out of the bag, the mayo is better than this.
47:58 Pablo Torre? We can only find a sample of this.
47:59 Speaker 03 Oh, broke.
48:00 Pablo Torre? Oh, my God.
48:01 Speaker 02 What is it?
48:03 Speaker 02 Driven by Derek Jeter.
48:07 Speaker 03 What?
48:09 Speaker 02 Yo, that's for boys.
48:10 Pablo Torre? We kinda nailed him.
48:11 Speaker 03 Is this going in the gift bag for the ladies? Driven away from my home.
48:18 Speaker 02 It's an Avon. It's another Avon jam.
48:20 Pablo Torre? Autographed baseball. It's sample of Derek Jeter. Driven.
48:26 Speaker 03 The captain?
48:27 Speaker 02 Boring.
48:28 Pablo Torre? I love, I grew up adoring this man, but I-
48:32 Speaker 03 Cause he got ass.
48:33 Pablo Torre? I mean.
48:37 Pablo Torre? He was clutch.
48:38 Speaker 02 Yeah, and he's a snooze fest.
48:40 Speaker 03 If you are a Yankee fan from Staten Island and you buy the Driven cologne and you put that on.
48:45 Speaker 02 You're gonna be upset. You're gonna be disappointed.
48:48 Pablo Torre? It's, it's not hitting for power.
48:50 Speaker 03 You might do a hate crime.
48:51 Pablo Torre? Still a Hall of Famer, to be clear, unambiguous, but-
48:54 Speaker 02 We can't take that away. They won't let us.
48:55 Speaker 03 Thank you for clarifying.
48:56 Speaker 02 They won't let us. But if we could, we'd revoke it because of that **** perfume.
49:00 Pablo Torre? Jeez.
49:01 Speaker 03 That's not good.
49:04 Speaker 02 Just really boring. Not my cup of tea.
49:07 Speaker 03 Like Jeets.
49:09 Pablo Torre? Yeah, Jeets.
49:09 Speaker 02 Yeah, Jeets.
49:11 Pablo Torre? Number 10.
49:15 Speaker 02 Oh, this is juicy. This is juicy as-
49:17 Pablo Torre? Oh, jeez.
49:21 Speaker 03 That'll get you.
49:22 Speaker 02 Oh, that's what the Britney Spears smells like to me.
49:24 Pablo Torre? This is pink.
49:25 Speaker 03 This is bubblegum. This is Bath and Body Works. This is Jessica Simpson written all over it, something like that. It's one of those for sure.
49:32 Speaker 02 This is fruity.
49:34 Pablo Torre? This isn't David LaChapelle.
49:35 Speaker 03 Yeah.
49:37 Speaker 02 Yeah, this is those Steve Madden ads where they used to make their heads really big and their bodies really small.
49:41 Speaker 03 This is a Bratz doll.
49:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
49:43 Speaker 03 This is no one over the age of 14.
49:45 Speaker 02 This is youthful. This is exhausting me just to smell it.
49:48 Pablo Torre? If you are wearing this and you are not a 14-year-old, you should be arrested.
49:54 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm. You're on a watch list at least.
49:56 Speaker 02 I'm telling you, this is Britney. This smells like the Britney Spears. I know I'm gonna keep saying that.
49:59 Pablo Torre? This, like, Chris Hansen should walk in the door.
50:02 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
50:03 Pablo Torre? Now that we've broken this out of the Ziploc.
50:05 Speaker 02 It's not as bad as they're making it sound. It's just very bright, very sweet.
50:08 Pablo Torre? For me.
50:08 Speaker 02 Good instincts for you both to be repulsed by-
50:11 Pablo Torre? That's right.
50:12 Speaker 02 The scent of a child, girl.
50:14 Pablo Torre? For the record.
50:14 Speaker 02 I love that. Good job doing a great job.
50:16 Pablo Torre? We hate this.
50:17 Speaker 02 Hate it.
50:17 Pablo Torre? Ew. Never.
50:19 Speaker 02 I-
50:19 Speaker 03 Gross.
50:20 Speaker 02 I can picture it bullying me.
50:21 Speaker 03 Oh.
50:23 Speaker 02 I am scared of it.
50:25 Speaker 03 Mean girl.
50:25 Pablo Torre? This fragrance is the reason why Katie got invisalign.
50:28 Speaker 02 It ends really, really sweet. Like, the more I'm sitting with it, the more it's like, alright.
50:32 Speaker 03 Cotton candy.
50:32 Speaker 02 We get it. You're 12. This is Taylor Swift, Wonderstruck.
50:39 Pablo Torre? Just nailed it.
50:40 Speaker 02 That tracks.
50:41 Pablo Torre? Nailed it.
50:42 Speaker 02 That tracks.
50:43 Speaker 03 And I like T-Swift, but yeah, this is, uh, this is preying on the parents of young girls who don't have the money to spend.
50:48 Speaker 02 Wonderstruck!
50:52 Speaker 02 Stupid!
50:53 Speaker 03 Ugh.
50:54 Pablo Torre? Thunderstruck Taylor's version.
50:55 Speaker 03 Also, no, is this the real? Is this the real bottle? Just zero effort.
50:59 Pablo Torre? It's a travel size.
51:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
51:01 Pablo Torre? It's a travel size.
51:02 Speaker 03 Travel size.
51:03 Pablo Torre? You know, you want to smell like Taylor Swift.
51:04 Speaker 03 You're like, travel with someone.
51:05 Speaker 02 This smells like a Taylor Swift concert. This is, this is exactly right.
51:08 Pablo Torre? Do you think that Taylor Swift smells like this?
51:10 Speaker 03 Hell, no.
51:12 Pablo Torre? Wonderstruck is the first fragrance from the young American pop country singer Taylor Swift launched in cooperation with the cosmetic company Elizabeth Arden. Wonderstruck is named after the lyricist from the song Enchanted. Quote, "I'm wonderstruck, comma, blushing all the way home."
51:26 Speaker 03 Cool portmanteau.
51:28 Pablo Torre? Which tell about the feeling and the impression you get when you first meet someone you like. Taylor hopes that her fragrance will be an essential part of many impressions and first meetings. What do you think Wonderstruck for Taylor Swift costs?
51:40 Speaker 03 It tracks, but I thought it would, this is, that smelled too low end.
51:45 Speaker 02 I don't think she was a full-blown capitalist yet.
51:46 Speaker 03 Yeah.
51:47 Speaker 02 How much she would sell it for, I will say, that size bottle?
51:50 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
51:51 Speaker 02 Twelve, seven, seventeen nine, seventeen ninety-nine.
51:54 Speaker 03 The travel size bottle is nine ninety-nine.
52:00 Pablo Torre? Fifty-nine ninety-nine.
52:01 Speaker 03 What the [bleep].
52:02 Pablo Torre? How dare you underestimate her capitalism.
52:04 Speaker 02 She's been a full-blown capitalist the whole time!
52:07 Pablo Torre? Wonderstruck!
52:08 Speaker 02 Fifty-nine ninety-nine for the travel size?
52:10 Speaker 03 Damn, we've been wonderstruck. [bleep]. That's, that's crazy town.
52:15 Speaker 02 That's egregious.
52:17 Speaker 03 Did they deliver it to your house on a private jet? That's bad.
52:20 Speaker 02 Wow, that's interesting.
52:21 Pablo Torre? That's the worst deal of the day.
52:22 Speaker 02 That being the most expensive and the smallest size, other than the Jeter one?
52:26 Speaker 03 And with the least appeal. That is only for little girls.
52:31 Pablo Torre? The last fragrance.
52:34 Speaker 02 Oh, good.
52:36 Pablo Torre? Is number eleven.
52:40 Speaker 03 Jesus Christ.
52:42 Speaker 02 What is that? Is that spearmint?
52:44 Pablo Torre? Wow. This is potent. This is the most po- I feel like this is-
52:48 Speaker 03 Strong as hell.
52:49 Speaker 02 This cat calls.
52:50 Pablo Torre? I have not smelled this since Origin.
52:53 Speaker 02 This sits outside in a folding chair and whistles at me.
52:58 Pablo Torre? Man, I'm afraid of this.
53:00 Speaker 02 This is an Elks Club.
53:01 Speaker 03 A VFW hall.
53:04 Pablo Torre? This one has seen some things and done some things.
53:08 Speaker 02 As I'm sitting with it, I don't dislike it necessarily.
53:12 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'm getting Vietnam Vet for sure.
53:18 Speaker 03 Hmm.
53:18 Pablo Torre? Man.
53:19 Speaker 03 Maybe it'll settle a bit. It's so-
53:22 Pablo Torre? It really does come on strong.
53:24 Speaker 02 It's kind of like deep. It's kind of like
53:28 Speaker 02 the back of my nose.
53:29 Pablo Torre? I feel that. I feel that, actually.
53:33 Speaker 02 And it's like earthy and woodsy.
53:36 Pablo Torre? Let it be known, there is some funk in here.
53:38 Speaker 03 Is this gonna be like John Madden or like some old, like Terry Bradshaw?
53:43 Speaker 02 Oh, I hope it's Terry Bradshaw.
53:44 Speaker 03 You know, something like an old guy.
53:46 Pablo Torre? I can see this being Terry Bradshaw.
53:47 Speaker 02 Me too, actually.
53:48 Pablo Torre? Almost medicinal.
53:50 Speaker 03 Yeah, this is a, this is a guy rolls into your one-horse town, he's got a [BLEEP] in a briefcase full of whatever you need.
53:55 Pablo Torre? Yes, yes.
53:56 Speaker 03 And this is something, this is one of those.
53:58 Pablo Torre? Yep.
53:58 Speaker 03 A polio? Here you go, dog. But it doesn't smell cheap. Like this kind of-
54:03 Pablo Torre? No, no, no, no.
54:04 Speaker 03 It's like, but like homebrewed.
54:06 Speaker 02 I think I'm giving it credit for being different. It's very different than what we've smelled today.
54:11 Pablo Torre? This is, this is, this is alluring.
54:13 Speaker 03 This is the work of an old man.
54:15 Pablo Torre? Is it snake oil? Is it penicillin?
54:18 Speaker 03 Who cares? He's got stories. And his own bottle of whiskey.
54:22 Pablo Torre? Our last fragrance is.
54:24 Speaker 03 Drum roll.
54:26 Speaker 03 Oh, wow!
54:29 Pablo Torre? We're gonna cut that.
54:30 Speaker 03 We got God.
54:31 Pablo Torre? We're gonna cut that.
54:32 Speaker 03 We got God.
54:33 Pablo Torre? We got God.
54:34 Speaker 03 Snake oil salesman!
54:37 Pablo Torre? I think we nailed that. This is, uh, fight, fight, fight Donald Trump.
54:43 Speaker 02 Oh, the bottle's brutal. What a tacky fuck.
54:48 Speaker 03 Just a sticker slapped on a [BLEEP].
54:50 Speaker 02 That's brutal.
54:51 Pablo Torre? Perfect, though.
54:51 Speaker 02 Limited edition 2024, made in France.
54:54 Pablo Torre? I hate how perfect-
54:55 Speaker 03 Made in France?
54:56 Speaker 02 Yeah, I thought he was America. I thought America first.
54:58 Speaker 03 We got the cig on the side. This is 2024. This must have been-
55:01 Pablo Torre? This is new.
55:02 Speaker 02 Like a cigarette. I was like, that's kind of sick.
55:03 Pablo Torre? This is that new, new.
55:06 Pablo Torre? It is an all-black, heavy-ass bottle. Fight Fight Fight is a bold fragrance from Trump Fragrances, designed for men who embody strength and resilience. This limited-edition cologne is crafted to leave a lasting impression with its rich and robust notes. The fragrances commemorate President Trump's moment of personal courage and the strong message he sent to Americans after being shot at in Butler, Pennsylvania. Instead of the potential horrific moment of Trump's assassination, every camera on the mainstream media captured the most iconic photograph and video of his political career.
55:33 Speaker 02 Oh my god, the amount of money. I was looking for the profile notes.
55:38 Pablo Torre? Lawrence, what do you think this costs?
55:39 Speaker 03 Well, based on that reaction...
55:40 Speaker 02 Oh my god!
55:41 Speaker 03 So this is $100?
55:44 Speaker 02 Mine says $200.
55:45 Speaker 03 Whoa, let's [bleep] go.
55:48 Pablo Torre? We pay... I don't actually... The most embarrassing thing might be...
55:51 Speaker 03 You guys spent $200?
55:52 Pablo Torre? That we spent $216.67.
55:55 Speaker 03 You gave Trump your hard-earned money?
55:57 Speaker 02 The retail is $1.99 a bottle.
55:59 Pablo Torre? We gave, I presume, to be the alleged shell company that someone else...
56:02 Speaker 03 Sure, sure, sure. I can't believe it doesn't smell worse.
56:05 Speaker 02 Now, let's go... Is anybody here really good at math and conversions?
56:09 Pablo Torre? I wanna end the show.
56:10 Speaker 02 This... If you took the amount that Taylor Swift had in hers and you scaled it up to this size, is that more... Does she charge more per drop than he does?
56:20 Pablo Torre? Mathematically speaking, Taylor Swift's cologne, fragrance, perfume, would cost, at this rate, $400.
56:27 Speaker 03 Jesus [bleep] Christ. Shout out to T-Swiz.
56:32 Pablo Torre? I hope that, uh, the rest of the year works out. In a way in which we're all like, "You know what? That wasn't as bad as I thought."
56:41 Speaker 02 Happy January 6th, by the way.
56:43 Speaker 03 Yeah, belated.
56:44 Speaker 02 Happy belated January 6th.
56:47 Pablo Torre? At the end of every episode of Hall of Torre Finds Out, a show where we find stuff out, we say what we found out today. And I guess...
56:56 Speaker 03 I guess, Katie.
56:57 Speaker 02 I found out Taylor Swift charges more per drop of her perfume, or did, I don't know, than, um, 45, 47. Is that what we call them now? Is it 45, 47? What, how do you even? Do you get both numbers? Did that, did Grover Cleveland get both?
57:12 Speaker 03 Yeah, you got, you got, you got both.
57:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
57:13 Speaker 03 You got both.
57:14 Speaker 02 Cool.
57:15 Speaker 03 You got both. What was your favorite?
57:17 Speaker 02 It's between Beckham and J-Lo, I think.
57:24 Speaker 03 I'm still shook.
57:25 Speaker 02 What did you learn today? What'd you find out today?
57:27 Speaker 03 Found out that I'm updating my hall pass with my wife to David Beckham.
57:32 Speaker 02 Hmm, nice. That wasn't on there.
57:34 Speaker 03 No. I also found out that I want to try mayonnaise in my coffee.
57:38 Pablo Torre? Mmm.
57:39 Speaker 03 The little levis, whatever's happening there.
57:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, you were in it.
57:42 Speaker 03 It's pressing all the right buttons for your boy. I don't know. I'm not gonna start rooting for the Titans, but...
57:49 Speaker 02 No, that'd be nuts.
57:50 Speaker 03 That, I mean, he's figured something out.
57:53 Pablo Torre? So I think, if I may collectively summarize our thoughts.
57:56 Speaker 02 I'll find you that picture of her in the outfit.
57:58 Pablo Torre? The big winner, I think, is David Beckham.
58:01 Speaker 03 At the price point, too.
58:02 Pablo Torre? At that price point.
58:03 Speaker 03 That's crazy.
58:04 Pablo Torre? 1925, the best deal, the best man, dare I say. On the medal stand, though, we concur that J-Lo is there.
58:13 Speaker 03 Yep.
58:14 Pablo Torre? If we're being honest with ourselves.
58:18 Speaker 02 I don't know.
58:19 Pablo Torre? The scientists behind the glass are telling me that, uh, it was pretty clear that we all agreed that the Trump one was pretty good.
58:24 Speaker 02 Damn, really?
58:25 Pablo Torre? What I found out today is that I should never trust the producers of this show ever again.
58:30 Speaker 02 Ever, why would you ever do that?
58:31 Speaker 03 The nose, nose.
58:32 Pablo Torre? God damn it.
58:33 Speaker 03 Noses don't lie. Trump got one.
58:44 Pablo Torre? This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out, a Metalark Media production. And I'll talk to you next time.
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Previous Share & Atone & Tell with Nick Wright and Kevin Wildes Next Share & Oddjob & Tell with Domonique Foxworth and Charlie Kravitz Page updated November 5, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated