Share & F*ck Around & Tell with Michael Cruz Kayne and Katie Nolan

Did Pablo "win" his "beef" with Bill Simmons? Why are baseball broadcasts so dick-centric? How bad is it to touch the Stanley Cup? And how good can you get at an instrument in a week? Plus: Zoogle, Skyrizi, Gary Peyoteon, redding-wing eczema, Bouilliabaise Mode and a sick kitten to a hot brick. • Subscribe to "Casuals with Katie Nolan" https://www.youtube.com/katienolan • Listen to "Sorry for Your Loss" by Michael Cruz Kayne https://www.audible.com/pd/Sorry-for-Your-Loss-Audiobook/B0CGJSXSPF Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:32Pablo Torre?

  This episode is brought to you by apollo.io. A lot of the stories on this show start the same way. Something that looks pretty simple turns out to be a mess once you look under the hood. Well, it's no different in the sales world. Your team has a tool for finding prospects, a different tool for reaching out to them, and a third for keeping track of it all. On paper, that's a system. In practice, it's a salesperson spending the better part of the day copying names from one tab into another, and not much of it actually selling. Apollo.io is a platform that helps sales teams find the right buyers and reach out to them. It brings prospecting, outreach, and follow-up into one place instead of several separate tools. It's used by sales teams of all sizes,

• 1:16Pablo Torre?

  from small businesses to larger organizations, and it's built for teams who want less manual busywork and more time with buyers. If your marketing and sales teams are trying to work from the same view of the customer, it's worth a look. Sign up for free at apollo.io. That's apollo.io. I'm Pablo Torre, and this episode of Pablo Torre Finds Out is brought to you by Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale, exceptionally smooth cognac for all your game day festivities. Please drink responsibly, because today, we're going to find out what this sound is.

• 2:08Pablo Torre?

  Right after this ad.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  I'm fixating on an old song that I've rediscovered. I can't stop listening to it.

• 2:24Speaker 02

  I mean, what is this? Gaga? Uh huh.

• 2:29Pablo Torre?

  "Something About You" by Level 42, which I'm fading out for legal reasons.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  Come on!

• 2:34Pablo Torre?

  I would just want to vibe to that.

• 2:36Speaker 02

  It's so good. It's such a vibe.

• 2:38Speaker 03

  What's it called? Level 42?

• 2:40Speaker 02

  That's the band? I was gonna let it get to the chorus so people could know they've heard it before, because I promise you both have.

• 2:45Pablo Torre?

  We can skip to the chorus.

• 2:55Speaker 02

  That bass is filthy!

• 2:57Pablo Torre?

  I love a bass. We love a bass on this.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  Filthy!

• 2:59Speaker 03

  Is that a Sharon Tell or is that just a snack for you?

• 3:02Speaker 02

  It is a snack! Is this a Sharon Tell?

• 3:05Pablo Torre?

  It is a literal snack pack.

• 3:06Speaker 03

  I was told to bring it.

• 3:07Pablo Torre?

  Don't open it!

• 3:08Speaker 02

  What's going on?

• 3:14Pablo Torre?

  Okay, I'm jumping in here to say that if you watch PTFO on YouTube, you probably know that the Nintendo-adjacent-style sound effect, the "doot doot doot doo" that you just heard, visually triggers an actual role-playing game-style menu with a little animated version of me who explains stuff. Which is why internally, the PTFO staff calls these voiceovers that I do RPGs. Anyway, I say all of this because Katie Nolan's question today, "What is going on?", is a good one. Numerous Pablo Torre Finds Out observers have observed that we have always chosen the "Pablo Explains" menu option,

• 3:57Pablo Torre?

  but I have never actually selected the second option that is shown right beneath "Pablo Explains", which is simply "F*** Around."

• 4:08Pablo Torre?

  But after repeatedly forcing share and tell regulars Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz-Cain to be guinea pigs in what some critics have called the future of journalism, and still others have called your stupid Bill Belichick, Jordan Hudson episodes, I realized something. I realized that it was probably time to just [BLEEP] around. I've somehow explained less about what we're doing here today than I have in previous episodes in which I also explain nothing.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Which is crazy.

• 4:41Pablo Torre?

  Which is not just crazy, I have been reflecting.

• 4:44Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 4:45Pablo Torre?

  And I think I owe you guys.

• 4:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:48Pablo Torre?

  An episode where we just get to chill.

• 4:51Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 4:52Pablo Torre?

  With surprises in the center of the table.

• 4:54Speaker 02

  No.

• 4:55Pablo Torre?

  I sent a group chat to you guys and it was just hello and Katie's response was, uh-oh. And I was like, I need to, we need to reestablish our friendship.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Anytime I hear in this group text, I go, oh, Jesus Christ, what'd she do now?

• 5:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  But this wasn't about, it's not about her.

• 5:13Pablo Torre?

  Well, so technically.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 5:15Pablo Torre?

  It has been now 50 days since our many, many, many, many, many public records requests were filed and not fulfilled.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 5:24Pablo Torre?

  So that is happening in a parallel track alongside this. North Carolina administrators, if you're listening to this and-

• 5:30Speaker 02

  Come on and raise up.

• 5:31Pablo Torre?

  Raise up.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  Take your shirt off.

• 5:36Speaker 03

  Heels, heels up. What did they say? They must have a thing.

• 5:39Pablo Torre?

  Oh, what's their, what's their, like their slogan?

• 5:40Speaker 03

  Heels up.

• 5:41Speaker 02

  Click your heels.

• 5:43Pablo Torre?

  What is North Carolina Tar Heels slogan?

• 5:49Speaker 03

  Go, go blue.

• 5:50Pablo Torre?

  Um, they have a song called, "I'm a Tar Heel Born." Do you want to listen to what that sounds like for a second?

• 5:57Speaker 03

  I do and I don't.

• 5:58Speaker 02

  That's not as good as Something About You.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  What are we doing here?

• 8:33Speaker 03

  So far, so good.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  What's the purpose today? That meat's not gonna open, is it?

• 8:40Speaker 03

  Honestly, I'll eat a Gusto pack. I'm not afraid to.

• 8:43Pablo Torre?

  So much of my diet is Gusto packs.

• 8:48Pablo Torre?

  Small batch artisanal meats.

• 8:50Speaker 02

  Oh, gross.

• 8:50Pablo Torre?

  Smooth Vantina cheese, artisanal crackers.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Gross, gross, gross.

• 8:53Pablo Torre?

  Genoa, mild salami.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  Gross.

• 8:54Pablo Torre?

  Snack pack, keep refrigerated.

• 8:55Speaker 03

  Is that the one with the chocolate? Oh, it's got a little fruit bar. It's got a fruit bar.

• 8:58Speaker 02

  There's no fruit bar.

• 8:59Pablo Torre?

  No, this is, this is just-

• 8:59Speaker 02

  Just cheese, meat, and more meat.

• 9:01Speaker 03

  Oh, just crackers.

• 9:01Pablo Torre?

  Straight protein and dairy and some artisanal crackers.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  No. Yuck.

• 9:07Pablo Torre?

  This is, this is the adult Lunchable.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  Yes, very true. We, we have a lot of those in my home.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  Probably much more expensive.

• 9:14Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Lot of salt in there, baby.

• 9:17Pablo Torre?

  Oh, yeah. I don't wanna, I don't wanna-

• 9:18Speaker 02

  Don't let me forget I'm putting this on the ground.

• 9:20Speaker 03

  Okay, I'll try. I'll try to remember that.

• 9:22Pablo Torre?

  Disgusting place to rest your lollipop stick.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  There's no, uh, trash in here. There's never been a trash in here, which is crazy.

• 9:28Speaker 03

  Where are the receptacles?

• 9:29Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 9:30Pablo Torre?

  We're like Japan in here.

• 9:32Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 9:33Pablo Torre?

  You know what I'm talking about?

• 9:33Speaker 03

  No.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  No trash cans?

• 9:36Pablo Torre?

  No trash cans.

• 9:37Speaker 03

  But I believe that we are like Japan.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  We're like New York City during a marathon.

• 9:40Pablo Torre?

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:41Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. Just pee in our pants.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  Yeah. Walking your dog and then you realize like, oh, something must be going on publicly this weekend because there's no garbage can anywhere.

• 9:50Speaker 03

  Is the whole episode gonna be what we're doing right now? Because honestly, I'm great with it.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  I guess so. I didn't get high enough.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  I'm hyped.

• 9:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  I didn't get high at all.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  Damn, that sucks.

• 9:58Speaker 03

  I don't usually get high. I don't really get, I don't really get high. I tell you what, the littlest, and I'm so far gone.

• 10:02Speaker 02

  Great.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  I'm absolutely obliterated.

• 10:03Speaker 02

  That's economical.

• 10:06Speaker 03

  But I don't, I never, I, it's very hard for me to find a place where it's like, I'm glad that I did this.

• 10:09Speaker 02

  Just take one hit. Start there.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 10:13Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  You're welcome.

• 10:16Pablo Torre?

  What happens to you?

• 10:17Speaker 03

  What happens to me?

• 10:18Speaker 02

  Do you get scared?

• 10:19Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I kind of, well, I, what, I often become like so far gone, often. I hardly ever do it. But like so far gone that I'm like paralyzed. You know what I mean? The very first time that I accidentally, uh, used a marijuana product.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  What?

• 10:33Speaker 03

  I was at a party and there were brownies and never even occurred to me-

• 10:36Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  That there would be weed in the brownies. So I ate like a few brownies.

• 10:40Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 10:41Speaker 03

  Cause I'm, I'm the type of guy who'll go to a party and I'll eat a lot of your brownies.

• 10:44Pablo Torre?

  Just to be, just to be, uh, you know, uh, conscientious towards the chef.

• 10:48Speaker 03

  Yeah. You made all these brownies. I'm gonna let them sit here?

• 10:51Speaker 02

  You're the guy that walks in like the third time in the room and goes, "Oh, brownies."

• 10:55Speaker 03

  That's exactly right.

• 10:56Speaker 02

  Well, I gotta eat them, even though it's your, it's your-

• 10:58Pablo Torre?

  You put them into a big shopping cart?

• 11:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:01Speaker 03

  I make a big show out of it. And yeah, I'll eat, I'll eat a few. So I ate a few brownies.

• 11:05Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  And I was sitting by the pool and I was like, I feel a little bit weird. And then people were like, you guys want to get in the pool? And I was like, yeah, I would love to get in the pool. And then my arms and legs would not move. And I was like, I guess I'm here for a while. So that's kind of, I, I all.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  Doesn't sound bad.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  I rarely get to the place where you're like, I'm just a little bit happier than I was.

• 11:24Speaker 02

  I don't think eating a couple brownies was taking it eat. Like, that's like, if I ate a couple brownies, I would also be comatose.

• 11:31Speaker 03

  I guess I mean, I'm not good at, I feel like you seem like someone who's really, uh, you're a connoisseur.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  Mm-mm. No, Dan is. I just, um, whatever he gets, I go, nice. And then I take a hit or two of it and then I go, I'm good for three hours.

• 11:44Speaker 03

  I got you. Yeah. See, I just don't know what, I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe, maybe I need like a weed sommelier to.

• 11:49Speaker 02

  Probably.

• 11:49Speaker 03

  To show me how to.

• 11:50Speaker 02

  Pablo could help.

• 11:51Pablo Torre?

  I'll be your sherpa.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  He brought a bunch of weed to my house with athlete names on it.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  Athlete names?

• 11:55Pablo Torre?

  Oh, you didn't even watch the episode, Michael. You would have been.

• 11:57Speaker 03

  No, I did. Gary Payotian?

• 12:01Speaker 02

  I mean, that's the pun it could have been. It wasn't that pun, but yeah, that's close.

• 12:05Pablo Torre?

  So far you're one for one.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  It's just Gary Payton. It's just called Gary Payton. It's not.

• 12:09Speaker 03

  Is that a pun?

• 12:10Speaker 02

  No, Payotian was a pun.

• 12:12Speaker 03

  No, but I thought, okay, but there wasn't one?

• 12:14Speaker 02

  No.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  Good.

• 12:15Pablo Torre?

  But what about?

• 12:16Speaker 03

  What?

• 12:17Speaker 02

  The amount of times I come here and I forget to put my engagement ring back on is too many.

• 12:21Pablo Torre?

  Methinks the fiancee doth protest too much.

• 12:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't wear my red ring on, wear reding, and it's called a redding wing. And I don't wear it very much.

• 12:30Speaker 02

  Why?

• 12:31Speaker 03

  Because I have what is called.

• 12:33Speaker 02

  Cause it's easier to cheat.

• 12:34Pablo Torre?

  In fidelity.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  Eczema.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 12:36Speaker 03

  And so I get a cool little ring of eczema right around my, right around my hand. And it's not fun to have that.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 12:43Speaker 03

  As long as I, if I don't sweat at all, it's fine. But if I do sweat, then it starts to accumulate under the ring.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  Yum.

• 12:49Speaker 03

  And this is also, this is like, how do you track metrics for this podcast? This is the kind of thing that makes me.

• 12:54Pablo Torre?

  It's going great.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, numbers are going through the roof.

• 12:56Speaker 03

  Yeah. So I give myself a shot.

• 12:58Pablo Torre?

  Let's describe your finger eczema more.

• 13:00Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 13:02Pablo Torre?

  I wanna get to what Michael brought us.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  Is it food?

• 13:07Speaker 03

  No, and I was told to bring it.

• 13:10Speaker 02

  What? You didn't tell me to bring anything.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I assumed you'd bring like a-

• 13:14Speaker 02

  Thanks.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  Honestly, I assumed you'd be bringing like some kind of obscure instrument also.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  I brought the funk.

• 13:19Speaker 03

  I thought you'd bring like a woodblock or something.

• 13:21Speaker 02

  As you can see, I brought the funk.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  You did, that's true. But people don't even know that.

• 13:24Pablo Torre?

  I think we have a legal clearance for the funk.

• 13:27Speaker 02

  Okay, sorry. It might be free. It's fair use. That's an old song.

• 13:31Pablo Torre?

  Well, fair use, Soundalike, for the funk.

• 13:34Speaker 02

  Nah, it's not gonna be the same.

• 13:35Speaker 03

  We can do, the three of us can do an a cappella.

• 13:37Speaker 02

  On whatever this is.

• 13:39Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, but it's not a cappella if we use this. Can you use, is the problem, you can't even license, like you can't sing the song, right?

• 13:45Speaker 02

  No.

• 13:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can't do anything.

• 13:46Pablo Torre?

  Well-

• 13:47Speaker 02

  Is Level 42 litigious? I don't even remember them as a band.

• 13:50Speaker 03

  Well, they're gonna be litigious now that you said that. That was nice.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  They're coming for her.

• 13:55Pablo Torre?

  Is Level 42 really gonna sue us?

• 13:58Speaker 02

  Right.

• 13:59Speaker 03

  I dare you. Level 42-

• 14:01Speaker 02

  It's like when Bill Simmons said, "What are you gonna do, fire me?" And then they very much did.

• 14:04Speaker 03

  Bill Simmons said that, and then next week, Level 42 sued him.

• 14:07Pablo Torre?

  I am sorry, by the way, to Katie Nolan for getting you sucked into a larger internet happening in which you were asked questions like, "Which side are you on?"

• 14:18Speaker 02

  I've sucked it up and handled it, so I need Simmons to do the same. It's weird. Pablo's investigating it. He's doing a fantastic job. So I'm Team Pablo. And I assume you are as well. Oh, yeah, but I picked you. It wasn't like it. There was no hesitation.

• 14:32Pablo Torre?

  I noticed.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  It was, he didn't even listen to the episode. I was doing it back and I was like, "Bro, come on."

• 14:38Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Pablo got into a media fight with another, with another member of the, his name's Bill Simmons. I believe we just talked about him. He, Bill Simmons took issue with Pablo's reporting. And then, we don't, you can cut it out, but Pablo then went to LA for his, did you win the?

• 14:52Pablo Torre?

  Oh, no.

• 14:54Speaker 02

  He went for the what's it called's?

• 14:56Pablo Torre?

  The...

• 14:57Speaker 02

  Peabody's.

• 14:58Pablo Torre?

  Peabody's. What a Boston way to pronounce that.

• 15:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, that is, sorry, the Peaboddy's. Sorry. It's Peabody, Massachusetts. And he was out there in LA, so he did Simmons' podcast, like refuting Simmons, saying that it was like, whatever, reporting or whatever. And basically during the episode, he was like, have you listened to any of the episodes that the aggregated clips are coming from that you're referring to? And Simmons was like, well, what I'd like to talk about instead.

• 15:21Pablo Torre?

  It was a scalable move by Bill.

• 15:22Speaker 02

  No, it was not. It was immediately, you could see right through it. It was like, so no then, Bill.

• 15:28Speaker 03

  I didn't realize that Peabody's, the Peaboddy's had nominations. I thought you just won it.

• 15:32Pablo Torre?

  Oh, no, there are nominations now.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 15:35Pablo Torre?

  I know because I...

• 15:37Speaker 02

  You have one.

• 15:37Pablo Torre?

  Didn't win it.

• 15:38Speaker 03

  I do, I have one.

• 15:39Speaker 02

  We noticed in your house.

• 15:40Pablo Torre?

  Brother.

• 15:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:41Speaker 02

  Shannon was like, you know, he's a somebody.

• 15:43Pablo Torre?

  And I did the thing that Connor McDavid did that everyone got mad at him for. I touched it.

• 15:54Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 15:55Speaker 03

  Oh, that might have jinxed it.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  That he touched the cup?

• 15:57Pablo Torre?

  You should neither touch nor hoist the conference trophies when those series have been won because the players, according to this footnoted Wikipedia page, feel that the Stanley Cup is a true championship trophy and only it should be hoisted.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, we're kind of pretentious hockey fans that way. But it's, it is what it is. It's a known thing.

• 16:18Pablo Torre?

  I'm just trying to guess further and further away from the fact that Michael has the thing that I...

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Eggs on his hands?

• 16:23Pablo Torre?

  Yeah.

• 16:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  By the way, I don't have it right now.

• 16:26Speaker 02

  Don't give it to the cup.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  Right now, I don't have it.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 16:28Pablo Torre?

  Where is it?

• 16:29Speaker 03

  The eggs on?

• 16:30Speaker 02

  Where are you keeping it?

• 16:31Speaker 03

  I don't have the eggs on anywhere.

• 16:32Pablo Torre?

  Who's on, who's on first?

• 16:33Speaker 03

  No, you guys, I take a shot. I take a shot every two weeks. I'm a pharma boy.

• 16:37Speaker 02

  Oh, you do?

• 16:37Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  Which one? Wait, let me guess, let me guess. It's, um, because it's, nothing is everything.

• 16:45Speaker 04

  Now is the time to ask your dermatologist about Sky Rizzi.

• 16:49Speaker 02

  Which is, um...

• 16:50Pablo Torre?

  Oh.

• 16:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, what is that one?

• 16:53Pablo Torre?

  Sky Rizzi?

• 16:54Speaker 03

  No, it's not that. It's not that. It's not that.

• 16:56Speaker 02

  Damn, that is Sky Rizzi, though. Have you seen the one where they have the...

• 16:59Pablo Torre?

  Wait, we, we did an episode about this. It's Dupixent.

• 17:02Speaker 03

  Yes, I must have, I talk about it all the time. I love Dupixent.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  With Dupixent.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 17:08Pablo Torre?

  How do you, how do you know all of the jingles?

• 17:10Speaker 02

  Because I watch TV all day. I watch TV all day. There's a commercial where they have baseball fans in a stadium chanting, "Farsiga."

• 17:28Speaker 02

  Forciga.

• 17:30Pablo Torre?

  Now, there is one from a commercial that I noticed. Was I with you? I must not have been with you guys. But there is a pharmaceutical drug that is supposed to address a bent penis.

• 17:39Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, for, um, that's called, um, Peyronie's? The disease is called Peyronie's?

• 17:45Pablo Torre?

  I cannot stress enough how this was unprepared by everybody.

• 17:48Speaker 02

  I believe it's called Peyronie's disease.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  I mean, the level, the level of quickness with you. Oh, yeah.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  Sure, yeah, Peyronie's. There's a good one and a bad one.

• 17:58Speaker 03

  Spandura? Yeah, I got that. I don't know.

• 18:00Pablo Torre?

  Absolutely called Peyronie's.

• 18:03Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 18:03Pablo Torre?

  That is the disease, uh, when a fibrous scar tissue inside the penis causes curved, painful erections.

• 18:09Speaker 03

  That's gotta be such a bummer, a bummer for Doug Peyroni. You know what I mean?

• 18:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:14Speaker 03

  For the doctor, he'd be like, actually, you're gonna be famous on this. And he's like, wait, why?

• 18:18Speaker 02

  What? Please don't.

• 18:18Speaker 03

  Don't, don't do that.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  Name it after anything else.

• 18:21Speaker 03

  Can't you call it just bent penis disease? No, Doug, we're naming this after you.

• 18:24Speaker 02

  No, no, please.

• 18:25Pablo Torre?

  They need to understand how fibrous this scar tissue is.

• 18:28Speaker 02

  Oh, my goodness, fibrous.

• 18:30Pablo Torre?

  I'm looking for the, for the, for the, for the pharmaceutical, um...

• 18:34Speaker 02

  What the, what the?

• 18:36Speaker 03

  What, what, what, Peyronie's disease? It's not like just a splint?

• 18:39Pablo Torre?

  Xyoflex? I think it's Xyoflex.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 18:42Pablo Torre?

  Otherwise known as Collagenase Clostridium.

• 18:45Speaker 02

  Adalimeb.

• 18:46Pablo Torre?

  Histolysitem. Lysticum.

• 18:51Speaker 02

  What are we doing? What is this?

• 18:53Speaker 03

  What are the rails?

• 18:54Speaker 02

  What are the rails? Where, what's the?

• 18:56Speaker 03

  Are we a train?

• 18:57Pablo Torre?

  Are you saying that you're trying to straighten the rails?

• 18:59Speaker 03

  No, absolutely not.

• 19:00Pablo Torre?

  Are you saying that there's a fibrous tissue perhaps in the, in the rails?

• 19:03Speaker 02

  If it hurts, you should have it medicated. But I will say, if it doesn't hurt and it curves a certain way, you could just leave it.

• 19:09Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 19:09Speaker 02

  And that's just advice.

• 19:10Pablo Torre?

  But just think about how...

• 19:13Speaker 02

  And that's just advice from me here.

• 19:14Pablo Torre?

  That's a freebie.

• 19:15Speaker 02

  And that's just free advice. As long as it doesn't hurt, you could just leave it.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  Doug Peyroni, why don't you call in, buddy?

• 19:23Speaker 02

  If it's going side to side, probably take the...

• 19:27Speaker 03

  Take the Zycoflex.

• 19:28Speaker 02

  Right, but if it's, "Oh, I think you can leave it."

• 19:31Pablo Torre?

  My main reaction was like, "Wow, this must be a common affliction" in order for this commercial to be aired during the sporting event.

• 19:38Speaker 02

  They do a lot of dick-centered stuff during sports.

• 19:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is like, this is when we're gonna get them.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  Remember, baseball playoffs used to always be, um, what's the one that's not Viagra? The one that starts with maybe a C?

• 19:49Speaker 03

  Cialis.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  Cialis.

• 19:50Pablo Torre?

  Cialis.

• 19:50Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 19:51Pablo Torre?

  Remember when there was, uh...

• 19:52Speaker 02

  Nobody wanted to make that a big deal that you knew that right away.

• 19:55Speaker 03

  Took me a second, because I almost said Sky Alice, but I knew that wasn't right.

• 19:57Speaker 02

  Sky Rizzy.

• 19:58Pablo Torre?

  That would be embarrassing.

• 19:59Speaker 03

  Sky Rizzy, that's when you put them, when you take them together.

• 20:01Pablo Torre?

  That's when you...

• 20:02Speaker 02

  It's Sky Alice.

• 20:03Pablo Torre?

  That's when you...

• 20:03Speaker 02

  Nothing is, everything is hard as [BLEEP].

• 20:06Speaker 03

  Hey, you wanna get [BLEEP]?

• 20:08Pablo Torre?

  Sky Rizzy.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  Sky Rizzy.

• 20:10Pablo Torre?

  What a flirtatious bird.

• 20:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  A Rizzy, yeah, you're right. We got it. Yeah, we got it.

• 20:16Pablo Torre?

  Sky creature.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  What is a podcast bird?

• 20:18Pablo Torre?

  So, Mr. Peyroni.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:21Pablo Torre?

  Uh, François-Jacques Dela Peyroni.

• 20:24Speaker 02

  No.

• 20:25Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 20:26Pablo Torre?

  A French surgeon.

• 20:28Speaker 02

  Oh, it was the surgeon.

• 20:29Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 20:30Pablo Torre?

  And this is, I think, a real, a real problem for the other Peyronis in this, in this lineage. Because, yeah, he's the guy who discovered, um, as it is described here, uh, induration of the corpora cavernosa of the penis.

• 20:45Speaker 02

  Cavernosa?

• 20:47Pablo Torre?

  Oh, wow. You guys wanna see a diagram?

• 20:49Speaker 02

  Probably not.

• 20:49Pablo Torre?

  Yeah.

• 20:50Speaker 02

  But, yeah.

• 20:51Speaker 03

  I do. I do wanna see the diagram. I do.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  Wait, where are we? Where are we? What are we looking at?

• 20:55Pablo Torre?

  We're looking at the constituent cavernous cylinders of the penis.

• 20:58Speaker 02

  I'm sorry? What's the, where are we looking at? Is that the mushroom at the top? What's going on?

• 21:05Pablo Torre?

  The glands.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  I don't know what that is.

• 21:07Pablo Torre?

  This is like an old illustration.

• 21:08Speaker 02

  I don't know what that is, and I don't like...

• 21:09Pablo Torre?

  Look, my dad is a urologist. This is totally exactly what he would want me doing with this episode. Wikipeding medical illustrations.

• 21:17Speaker 02

  Red Sox traded Rafi Devers.

• 21:18Pablo Torre?

  How is, how is, how is that?

• 21:20Speaker 02

  [BLEEP] miserable.

• 21:21Pablo Torre?

  That must have been a real kick to the dorsal veins.

• 21:22Speaker 02

  [BLEEP].

• 21:25Speaker 02

  It's miserable.

• 21:27Pablo Torre?

  Let me close out some windows and open that one up.

• 21:29Speaker 03

  Close out some of my penis tabs.

• 21:31Speaker 02

  It has made me so miserable and yet I brought it up because I don't want to talk about curved dick anymore on this podcast. Looking for a way out, she brought up her own deepest pain. And that is losing.

• 21:43Pablo Torre?

  Sounds like there should be a pharmaceutical product for what you're dealing with.

• 21:45Speaker 02

  I know. I think there's a lot of them.

• 21:47Speaker 03

  I think they have, yeah, there are a lot, sure, a lot of those.

• 21:48Speaker 02

  I think I'm gonna take them all at once.

• 21:51Pablo Torre?

  Well, let's not do that. What if?

• 21:53Speaker 03

  That feels a little severe.

• 21:55Pablo Torre?

  What if instead we unzipped something else?

• 22:07Pablo Torre?

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• 22:40Speaker 04

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• 23:12Speaker 00

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• 23:50Pablo Torre?

  Michael, I believe, has been spending his days when he's not around us doing something that we should enjoy

• 23:58Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 23:58Pablo Torre?

  now that he's here with us.

• 24:00Speaker 03

  Okay, so, a friend of mine, a comedian, had an Omni Chord in her office.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  I'm supposed to know what that is?

• 24:07Speaker 03

  So, and I started playing it, and I thought, oh, this is so fun, and then I bought one.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  How much? Price point?

• 24:13Speaker 03

  It's like $750.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 24:15Speaker 03

  It's kind of a

• 24:15Pablo Torre?

  I love this.

• 24:16Speaker 02

  Below a thousand?

• 24:17Speaker 03

  And I got it like a week ago.

• 24:19Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 24:19Speaker 03

  And I also, I think since the last time I saw you guys, I broke my elbow. Did you know that?

• 24:24Pablo Torre?

  What?

• 24:24Speaker 02

  No, you seem like you're fine.

• 24:25Pablo Torre?

  I don't even know which one.

• 24:26Speaker 03

  My left, my left elbow, so I've got some limited motion.

• 24:29Pablo Torre?

  How did you break it?

• 24:31Speaker 03

  I was playing B-ball with the youths.

• 24:33Pablo Torre?

  Oh, man.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  And I'll tell you guys, I was fucking saucing these kids up.

• 24:36Speaker 02

  I bet.

• 24:36Pablo Torre?

  So I watched, I've, I've been grinding some Michael Cruz Kayne game tape.

• 24:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:41Pablo Torre?

  What I love about Michael Cruz Kayne playing basketball is that he wears sweatpants.

• 24:45Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 24:46Speaker 03

  I do sometimes. I do sometimes. I'm not afraid to do that. Well, it's just whatever's clean.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  And doesn't have to be that clean. Whatever's around, I'm gonna wear.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  Basketball pants. Common.

• 24:54Pablo Torre?

  But he's got, he's got a J.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  I was absolutely, wait, what are you even talking about? Where have you seen me play basketball?

• 24:59Pablo Torre?

  The same place

• 25:01Speaker 03

  On Instagram?

• 25:01Pablo Torre?

  That I saw you play an Omni Chord.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  I was so

• 25:05Pablo Torre?

  Through your window.

• 25:06Speaker 03

  Let me tell you this, let me tell you this story because it's worth it for this podcast.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 25:10Speaker 03

  I was saucing these kids up, absolutely ruining some 20-year-olds.

• 25:13Pablo Torre?

  You're sky-rizing them.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  I'm feeling so good, so you know what I do? Something I haven't done in 10 years, I sprint from one end of the court to the other end of court, and I'm calling for the ball.

• 25:21Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 25:21Speaker 03

  I'm saying, I'm telling the guy

• 25:23Speaker 02

  Hit me, I'm going.

• 25:23Speaker 03

  I'm like, send it.

• 25:24Speaker 02

  I'm driving to the hoop.

• 25:25Speaker 03

  I see the, I'm tracking the ball with my eyes. I go to catch it. I'm fully extended.

• 25:29Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 25:29Speaker 03

  A much bigger, stronger, faster, younger man is doing the same thing I'm doing.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  Not a good idea.

• 25:35Speaker 03

  I leap off the ground. Must have been one, maybe .5 inches off the ground. Get absolutely mauled by this younger man. My legs go over my head.

• 25:44Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 25:45Speaker 03

  And I catch myself with my arm extended. Fracturing the radial head of my elbow.

• 25:50Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  I'm kind of rolling around the ground for a little while. Everyone's like, are you okay? And you don't really know how injured you are right away.

• 25:55Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 25:56Speaker 03

  I was like, I think I'm fine. So I play one more play.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  No.

• 25:59Speaker 03

  We're down by two, Katie.

• 26:01Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 26:01Speaker 03

  Your boy gets-

• 26:02Speaker 02

  This is a real Klay Thompson situation.

• 26:03Speaker 03

  Your boy gets the ball on the wing.

• 26:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:05Speaker 03

  Whoop, hot. Wet, game's over, and I go, you guys.

• 26:09Speaker 02

  I think my-

• 26:09Speaker 03

  I think I gotta go.

• 26:10Speaker 02

  I think my radial head is-

• 26:11Speaker 03

  And then I left. I, I, I think honestly, I think, I think I've changed those kids' lives.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  Anyway, I've been spending a lot of time not playing basketball, trying to learn how to play the Omni Court.

• 26:21Speaker 02

  Great.

• 26:22Pablo Torre?

  My god.

• 26:23Speaker 03

  So that's, that's it, it's right here.

• 26:24Pablo Torre?

  So you said, you said, okay, computer.

• 26:27Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 26:27Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't-

• 26:30Speaker 02

  You called the karma police.

• 26:32Speaker 03

  That's good. These are the, that's radial head.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  Radial head.

• 26:34Speaker 03

  Oh, now I see.

• 26:35Speaker 02

  The radial head of your elbow. I got you there.

• 26:37Speaker 03

  Took me a second.

• 26:38Speaker 02

  It's okay.

• 26:38Speaker 03

  I knew that it was radio head.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 26:39Speaker 03

  But I didn't get radial head.

• 26:41Speaker 02

  Right.

• 26:41Speaker 03

  But you guys are both-

• 26:42Speaker 02

  Because they sound so different. So I could see why it took so long.

• 26:46Pablo Torre?

  You thought we just left you high and dry.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 26:48Speaker 03

  I don't even know, I don't know what that is. That I know.

• 26:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  Phew, man, well.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  Anywho.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  I'm feeling like a, a real creep, and that's, that's too much.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 26:56Speaker 03

  Is it too easy?

• 26:57Speaker 02

  No, that's good stuff.

• 26:59Speaker 03

  Those are all the ones that I know.

• 26:59Speaker 02

  That's the best stuff.

• 27:02Speaker 02

  TV talk show host on mute, talk show on mute?

• 27:06Pablo Torre?

  Are you stroking out?

• 27:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  Oh, and of course, talk show on mute.

• 27:11Speaker 02

  That's a radial head, we're doing radial head songs.

• 27:14Speaker 03

  Is it a radio song?

• 27:14Speaker 02

  I think so, but I can't remember the order of the words.

• 27:17Speaker 03

  Alexa, tell me if talk show on mute is a song.

• 27:20Pablo Torre?

  Talk show on mute is incubus.

• 27:22Speaker 02

  Oh, fuck. Wait, then what's the one I'm thinking of? TV-

• 27:25Pablo Torre?

  On the radio.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  No, that's a band.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  Video Killed the Radio Star.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  Sorry, can you do this?

• 27:32Pablo Torre?

  No.

• 27:33Speaker 03

  What do we do? I don't know.

• 27:34Pablo Torre?

  Hold on, we gotta, we gotta describe for an audio audience, it's a visual thing.

• 27:37Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 27:37Pablo Torre?

  So, uh, Katie, can you describe actually what this is?

• 27:42Speaker 03

  She's Googling radiohead songs.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  Talk show host, talk show host, talk show host. That was the song I was trying to think of.

• 27:48Speaker 03

  You said it like you were trying, you said it like you were trying to make Jay Leno appear.

• 27:51Speaker 02

  Thing. I don't think that's who shows up. I don't think that's the one.

• 27:54Pablo Torre?

  Candyman rules.

• 27:55Speaker 02

  Um, Omnicord by Suzuki.

• 27:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:59Speaker 02

  It's a motorcycle.

• 28:00Pablo Torre?

  By the way, I didn't know this, but the motorcycle company also makes all that other stuff.

• 28:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:04Speaker 03

  Yes, it's truly, truly wild.

• 28:05Pablo Torre?

  What a company.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  Yamaha, I think is also the same. Doesn't Yamaha make motorcycles and pianos?

• 28:09Pablo Torre?

  Yes.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  And like water skis, water jet skis?

• 28:13Speaker 03

  Water jet, ski, ski waters?

• 28:14Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  Well, I just think like the...

• 28:16Speaker 02

  It's shaped like a bean. It's a little bean-like.

• 28:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:21Speaker 02

  It's almost like the outline of a whistle. Um, one side, on the right side, the smaller, the tapered end, we have what appears to be a speaker.

• 28:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's right.

• 28:30Speaker 02

  I don't know what this ribbed part is.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  That's called a strum plate.

• 28:33Speaker 02

  Okay, there's a strum plate. And then we have a couple, well, that's the, that's the strum plate.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  No, these are the controls for the strum plate.

• 28:40Speaker 02

  Can I tell you? I'd say strumplet is what I would have said. Strumplet.

• 28:45Pablo Torre?

  There are like a zillion buttons.

• 28:46Speaker 02

  Rhythm, chord, keyboard, strumplet, voice pattern, and then we have major, minor, the seventh, and all the different chords across the top.

• 28:57Speaker 03

  Sure do.

• 28:57Speaker 02

  Okay, so this is a push button. This is like a keyboard, but different.

• 29:02Speaker 03

  It's like a keyboard. I mean, honestly, you know, now, now you know as much about it as I do, pretty much.

• 29:07Pablo Torre?

  So, so, so this also has an aesthetic of like, what year do you think this was made?

• 29:12Speaker 02

  Seventy-two.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  I, I think it definitely has the look of that, and I think it is modeled after some, some version of itself

• 29:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:19Speaker 03

  that was released around that time, but I think this is a relatively new instrument.

• 29:23Speaker 02

  All the money you paid for it, it better be at least.

• 29:25Pablo Torre?

  So, so you bought this on the internet?

• 29:28Speaker 03

  I used the internet to buy it. I said, "Omnicord, buy," and I went to shopping, and then I bought it. And here it is.

• 29:34Pablo Torre?

  Wow.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  Okay. And this is the... OM 108 model.

• 29:39Speaker 03

  OM 108. Yeah, so my daughter and my wife went to El Paso to see Coldplay with my brother and his girlfriend.

• 29:49Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 29:49Pablo Torre?

  And you were not invited.

• 29:52Speaker 03

  Neither there, nor was I invited.

• 29:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 29:55Speaker 03

  So I was at home and I taught myself to play the beginning of one Coldplay song on here.

• 30:01Speaker 02

  Oh, I think I watched you doing this on the internet and I couldn't watch it. So I changed, I think I scrolled past.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Couldn't watch it because it's like so cringe.

• 30:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, no, no, it's because it was so good and I was like, not ready for this. I think I had just

• 30:14Pablo Torre?

  That's what happened.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  Had a little bit of drugs and was like, I don't think he needs to look in my eyes and sing. I don't think I need to have him look me in the eye and sing personally.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  So, and then I guess Pablo saw this video, which I think, having, having looked at, I think maybe a hundred people have seen.

• 30:28Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  It's been shadow banned by Instagram rightfully.

• 30:31Speaker 02

  People can't see this kind of stuff, too hot for TV.

• 30:34Pablo Torre?

  I made immediate, direct eye contact with it.

• 30:37Speaker 02

  Yes, sick.

• 30:38Pablo Torre?

  But I

• 30:39Speaker 02

  And then you want him to do it live?

• 30:40Speaker 03

  And then for some reason you had me bring it here.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  And you did.

• 30:43Speaker 03

  But what I, what I wasn't sure about is like

• 30:46Pablo Torre?

  Just in my defense, okay?

• 30:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:48Pablo Torre?

  You're saying if, I don't know, some other trio friends you hung out with, one of them bought a musical instrument and displayed a proficiency with it, you wouldn't have follow ups?

• 30:59Speaker 03

  No, I sure would. I would. I would. I don't know.

• 31:01Pablo Torre?

  If Katie bought a theremin, I'd be like

• 31:04Speaker 02

  How do you know I didn't?

• 31:05Pablo Torre?

  Bring that in.

• 31:06Speaker 03

  That's what I thought would happen. What I thought would make sense to me is you were like, Michael, you bring your omni chord, Katie's gonna bring her theremin. I've got, you know, a, a, a glass kazoo.

• 31:17Pablo Torre?

  A pan flute.

• 31:18Speaker 03

  A pan flute and I will play at like, uh, Zom Fear, the master of the pan flute. And together we'll play together.

• 31:24Speaker 02

  How are you even gonna Google, Google?

• 31:26Speaker 03

  Look that up on Google.

• 31:30Speaker 03

  We just replayed Katie dismissively saying, "Zoogle."

• 31:34Speaker 02

  How are you gonna zoogle that?

• 31:36Speaker 05

  How are you even gonna zoogle? Because zoogle.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  Zoogle it!

• 31:42Speaker 02

  Zamfear? How are you spelling it?

• 31:44Speaker 03

  Zamfear.

• 31:44Pablo Torre?

  George Zamfear.

• 31:46Speaker 02

  Oh, it's exactly how you would have spelled it.

• 31:47Pablo Torre?

  My god.

• 31:48Speaker 02

  Wow, master of the pan flute. Hello darkness, my old friend.

• 31:53Pablo Torre?

  Zamfear, man. Jesus. Romanian, um, and alive, 84 years young.

• 31:59Speaker 02

  Capital of Romania?

• 32:00Pablo Torre?

  And he's known as...

• 32:01Speaker 03

  Bucharest.

• 32:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:03Pablo Torre?

  He's from Gajesti.

• 32:05Speaker 02

  How is it?

• 32:06Pablo Torre?

  But, um...

• 32:08Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 32:08Speaker 02

  Play your [bleep] thing. Let's go.

• 32:10Pablo Torre?

  The master of the pan flute is Zamfear, the master of the omni chord, well...

• 32:15Speaker 03

  It's not. I'm not even good at it.

• 32:17Speaker 02

  We're about to hear...

• 32:17Speaker 03

  I've had it for a week.

• 32:18Speaker 02

  La la la la la la la.

• 32:20Speaker 03

  I've had it for a week. I'm better at the piano than I am at this, and I suck [bleep] at the piano.

• 32:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:26Speaker 03

  Woo, am I bad on the piano.

• 32:28Pablo Torre?

  Did you ever take piano lessons?

• 32:29Speaker 02

  No, but I had a boyfriend who was super into Billy Joel.

• 32:33Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 32:33Speaker 02

  Who once taught me a Billy Joel song.

• 32:37Pablo Torre?

  What song?

• 32:38Speaker 02

  It might have been.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  Good Night Saigon.

• 32:39Speaker 02

  No. It, I think it was, uh, it was a doo-lee doo doo, doo-lee doo doo doo doo doo doo.

• 32:45Speaker 03

  I think that is Scenes from Italian Restaurant. Yes, like the...

• 32:49Speaker 02

  Into the, yeah. So I used to be able to do that. I could not do that now.

• 32:52Speaker 03

  That feels like a relatively complicated first thing.

• 32:54Speaker 02

  It was incredibly complicated, but I...

• 32:55Speaker 03

  This guy sounds like he rules so far.

• 32:57Pablo Torre?

  And that boyfriend, Billy Joel.

• 32:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, yes. Uh, he was a big Billy Joel fan, and his name was Billy Joel.

• 33:05Speaker 03

  No relation.

• 33:05Speaker 02

  None. A dev- a try as he might, he's really, uh, he's really QAnon now, that X of mine. I recently saw him reposting Newsmax, and I was like, "Jesus, I got out."

• 33:17Speaker 03

  What's his name? We can, uh, we can zoogle it.

• 33:20Pablo Torre?

  Look him up on Google. My internet search history is-

• 33:25Speaker 02

  It's whacked out.

• 33:26Pablo Torre?

  Is-

• 33:27Speaker 02

  It's real crazy.

• 33:28Pablo Torre?

  I'm on a terror alert list of some kind now.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  So, no, I never took any piano lessons. I played clarinet.

• 33:34Pablo Torre?

  Really?

• 33:34Speaker 02

  In middle school.

• 33:36Pablo Torre?

  Um, what was your, what was your go-to song?

• 33:38Speaker 02

  Oh, I don't know. Whatever we were playing that week. But I was second clarinet. I was like-

• 33:41Speaker 03

  That's pretty good.

• 33:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was decent.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  How many clarinets were there?

• 33:45Speaker 02

  I don't know. Five.

• 33:46Speaker 03

  Two.

• 33:46Speaker 02

  Four. Maybe two. I got to sit in the second clarinet seat. I had solos.

• 33:50Pablo Torre?

  Did you, you didn't think of going pro with it?

• 33:52Speaker 02

  No. I don't even, I couldn't even tell you why I chose clarinet. I don't remember at all. I just, I loved it.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  It's a beautiful instrument.

• 33:59Speaker 02

  It's like a girly oboe.

• 34:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:01Pablo Torre?

  A she oboe.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:03Pablo Torre?

  Um, I took piano lessons.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 34:06Pablo Torre?

  I can play one song.

• 34:08Speaker 02

  Chopsticks?

• 34:09Pablo Torre?

  No, I can play, well, yes, uh, two songs. Uh, Chopsticks and Fur Elise.

• 34:16Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 34:16Pablo Torre?

  By an artist you may have heard of before.

• 34:19Speaker 03

  Sting.

• 34:22Speaker 02

  Not The Police. It's actually The Police.

• 34:24Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, I can-

• 34:25Speaker 03

  Fur Elise is who? It's Mozart?

• 34:26Pablo Torre?

  It's, uh, I think it's Beethoven.

• 34:27Speaker 02

  I think Beethoven.

• 34:28Pablo Torre?

  Beethoven?

• 34:29Speaker 02

  Was it Ibiza? We're going to Ibiza? Crazy.

• 34:33Speaker 03

  The Beethoven?

• 34:34Speaker 02

  Crazy. I had a Yamaha, a little Yamaha, a little white Yamaha keyboard. I wanted to play piano. Um, and I remember once I saw, when I saw, uh, Home Alone.

• 34:44Pablo Torre?

  Mmm.

• 34:45Speaker 02

  Somewhere in my memory. Remember that song?

• 34:47Speaker 03

  Nope.

• 34:50Pablo Torre?

  Oh, yes.

• 34:52Speaker 02

  I went upstairs and taught myself that on my little, but it wasn't knowing piano. It wasn't like making it sound good. It was going-

• 34:59Speaker 03

  But even that- But that's pretty sophisticated to be able to hear it and be like, I could play that.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  I don't think it is.

• 35:06Speaker 03

  A lot of people can't do that. A lot of people can't hear a song and go, I can match it to this.

• 35:11Pablo Torre?

  Is that perfect pitch?

• 35:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, are we finding out right now that you're a musical savant?

• 35:15Pablo Torre?

  Are you Beethoven?

• 35:18Speaker 02

  Yes, so that's my, that's the extent of my music.

• 35:21Pablo Torre?

  Sheevey wonder.

• 35:22Speaker 02

  And then I tried to play guitar when I was in college and my hands are too small.

• 35:29Pablo Torre?

  What were you trying to play, Billy Joel?

• 35:31Speaker 02

  Uh, no, John Mayer. That was when I was in my John Mayer phase.

• 35:33Pablo Torre?

  Uh huh.

• 35:34Speaker 02

  And so my, the song I could play, again, to start way too difficult than like easy chords. Um, there's a John Mayer song called "Comfortable", and the beginning of it is like this very beautiful, complicated, and I could play that. I couldn't now, but I could then, so.

• 35:52Speaker 03

  I feel like we're learning you're secretly really good at instruments.

• 35:54Pablo Torre?

  Yeah.

• 35:54Speaker 02

  I don't think that I am.

• 35:56Pablo Torre?

  She can accurately describe.

• 35:57Speaker 02

  I think that I start them and then I stop them.

• 36:09Speaker 06

  Hi, I'm Jenna Ashkowitz. You might know me from Glee. This is At the Table, the food allergy podcast, a show about food, connection, and what it really looks like to live with food allergies. Each episode, we hear stories from real people like Daniel.

• 36:24Speaker 07

  People would always think I was lactose intolerant, so I just kind of shortened my explanation to I'm deathly allergic, in a big way that defined a lot of my childhood.

• 36:35Speaker 06

  And while there are challenges, there are moments that remind you you're not alone.

• 36:40Speaker 00

  One of the best guys that I dated, he made a point to memorize all my food allergies.

• 36:46Speaker 06

  So join us and hear their stories and more, because living with food allergies isn't just about what you can't eat. It's about still having your seat at the table. Brought to you by Genentech and Novartis. Listen to At the Table, the food allergy podcast, on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow At the Table and start listening on the free iHeart radio app today.

• 37:06Speaker 00

  At Humana, our Medicare Advantage plans are easy to understand and easy on your wallet, like offering more benefits than you'd get from original Medicare alone, and including dental, vision, and hearing coverage in every plan. And the best part is, every plan has a $0 or low monthly plan premium, which makes it easier to save, too. So this Medicare planning season, plan well with Humana. Learn more at gethumana.com. Humana is a Medicare Advantage, HMO and PPO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.

• 37:44Speaker 02

  Now, tell me how this works. I don't understand it.

• 37:47Speaker 03

  Okay, well, I don't understand it either, so we're gonna find out together.

• 37:49Pablo Torre?

  Let's do this thing where we point your microphone, Katie, at it.

• 37:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 37:55Pablo Torre?

  And we'll point this microphone at us.

• 37:57Speaker 03

  People who actually know how to use this instrument are going to be sad about this.

• 38:02Pablo Torre?

  Oh, there it is.

• 38:02Speaker 03

  Okay, and then, well, I mean, I'm just gonna play it. So, like, cool, it does like...

• 38:07Pablo Torre?

  I feel like we're your backup band.

• 38:09Speaker 03

  It's Jerry's line.

• 38:18Pablo Torre?

  I love this instrument already.

• 38:20Speaker 03

  Check it out.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  What?

• 38:40Speaker 03

  I mean, it's just fun, and the thing is that... A dog could play it.

• 38:53Speaker 03

  Nothing.

• 38:53Speaker 02

  Changed nothing.

• 38:55Pablo Torre?

  This is like if Chris Martin was in Zelda.

• 39:02Speaker 02

  How do I make it funk?

• 39:07Speaker 03

  That was basically the chords of "Fix You." Thank you so much.

• 39:10Speaker 02

  How do I make it funk?

• 39:11Speaker 03

  That comes, that happens.

• 39:13Pablo Torre?

  He's twisting knobs. Ooh, yeah, the dance remix?

• 39:18Speaker 03

  And then, if you want other rhythms in the background. This is the same rhythm, it didn't change.

• 39:26Speaker 03

  That's rock, too. This is just an ad for the Omnicord.

• 39:32Speaker 03

  But you need the chords to be playing, so I think-

• 39:34Speaker 02

  Booyah bass? Oh, bossa nova.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Booyah bass. Activate booyah bass mode. And that, my friends, is everything I know about the Omni Chord. Now you know everything I know. There are other things you can do on it. See this button that says keyboard here?

• 39:48Pablo Torre?

  Yeah.

• 39:48Speaker 03

  What does that do?

• 39:49Speaker 02

  I don't know. I thought you'd say.

• 39:50Speaker 03

  Great, great. That's a great question to ask. I haven't had long enough to know.

• 39:54Speaker 02

  They're yelling at me that I need to take my mic back.

• 39:55Speaker 03

  Okay, you have it.

• 39:57Speaker 02

  That was cool. I don't feel like I know it any better. This is, I like this part the most.

• 40:01Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, can we do that more?

• 40:02Speaker 02

  And what's the little one for?

• 40:04Speaker 03

  Oh, the little one. Little watch, well, the little one, uh, okay, wait.

• 40:09Speaker 03

  Little one. It's like whatever's happening, the little one goes, "Stop."

• 40:14Pablo Torre?

  Oh.

• 40:14Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 40:15Speaker 03

  Little makes it all stop.

• 40:16Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 40:17Speaker 03

  And you know that this instrument was designed by someone who had a child, because then at some point, they had to put a button on it to be like, "It makes it, it makes it just stop."

• 40:27Speaker 02

  Brilliant.

• 40:28Pablo Torre?

  What are your, oh, so have you unveiled this to your kids?

• 40:32Speaker 02

  Well, they all saw the Instagram.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  I would say that my children approached it with apprehension, but have taken kind of, have taken an interest in it, because it is a thing where like, you go to a song that you like, and you see the chords, and you're like, "And now I can play every song."

• 40:45Speaker 02

  And now I just push the button. You don't have to figure out how to make your fingers do that. You just go, "Boop."

• 40:49Speaker 03

  It's a really great intro to playing music.

• 40:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:52Pablo Torre?

  There's a whole subreddit, r/omnicord.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  Cool.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  Okay, here we go.

• 40:56Speaker 02

  Did they post you in it?

• 40:57Speaker 03

  I hope not.

• 40:59Speaker 02

  They go, "Check out this guy."

• 41:00Speaker 03

  Because it's gonna be people-

• 41:01Speaker 02

  Omnicording.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  It's gonna be people in cool bands.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  Do cool bands use these?

• 41:05Speaker 03

  I don't know, maybe.

• 41:06Speaker 02

  Who uses these?

• 41:07Speaker 03

  I think the, um, Gorillaz is Gorillaz, that's a band, right?

• 41:10Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, of course it's a band. You don't have to do that.

• 41:12Speaker 03

  I think they have a song, I don't, I couldn't name a song that Gorillaz does.

• 41:15Speaker 02

  Yes, you could.

• 41:15Speaker 03

  I could?

• 41:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. Feel Good Inc.

• 41:17Pablo Torre?

  Clint Eastwood?

• 41:18Speaker 03

  How's that go?

• 41:19Speaker 02

  Doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon. Feel good. Do, do, do, do, do.

• 41:23Speaker 03

  I don't think I know. Oh, maybe I did. When you went down, I knew it.

• 41:26Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 41:28Speaker 03

  But I think they have a song that they made on the Omni Chord.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  Cut that out, by the way. Show me somebody wailing out on the thing.

• 41:35Pablo Torre?

  Gorillaz, Clint Eastwood is an Omni Chord preset.

• 41:37Speaker 02

  Oh, Clint Eastwood. I ain't happy. I'm feeling good, I got sunshine.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  Oh, I know that song.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  That's them.

• 41:46Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, you can make, you can make, you can make that do that.

• 41:49Pablo Torre?

  You have it?

• 41:50Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't know what chords they are.

• 41:52Pablo Torre?

  Okay, well, I'll show you the screenshot.

• 41:53Speaker 02

  Oh my god, this is crazy. That looks different than yours.

• 41:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is like an old one.

• 41:57Pablo Torre?

  He's got, he's got four lit up buttons.

• 41:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's, that's probably the OG OmniChord.

• 42:03Pablo Torre?

  It's...

• 42:03Speaker 03

  But if you put it on auto mode, it will go through chord progressions on its own.

• 42:07Speaker 02

  And so this is the podcast?

• 42:11Speaker 03

  Just you wait, until we reveal our...

• 42:14Speaker 02

  Jordan Hudson's here!

• 42:15Speaker 03

  Mystery guest!

• 42:18Speaker 02

  She's here!

• 42:32Pablo Torre?

  Man, I, okay, so I'm gonna buy an OmniChord.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  Oh my god, really? Are we all gonna buy them and then we'll have an OmniChord and stuff?

• 42:37Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, guys, we're starting a band!

• 42:39Speaker 02

  A three OmniChord band? Where nobody plays anything different, we all play the same instrument? It's crazy!

• 42:46Speaker 03

  Press the button together?

• 42:50Pablo Torre?

  Oh man, this rules. Okay. I would like to have Michael, though, perform the song using his voice.

• 42:59Speaker 03

  Wait, why?

• 42:59Speaker 02

  You're gonna make him sing for us?

• 43:01Speaker 03

  Mid-yawn.

• 43:03Speaker 02

  Wait, really? You're gonna make him do the thing live? I couldn't even stomach on my, on my phone?

• 43:07Speaker 03

  Yes!

• 43:08Speaker 02

  I have to look at him while he sings? Can I turn my back? It's no offense. I just...

• 43:12Pablo Torre?

  Like the voice?

• 43:13Speaker 02

  Really, yes. And I'll spin around if I like it.

• 43:15Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, we can do the voice style.

• 43:17Speaker 02

  I really don't like, um, looking at people directly while they sing. It makes me so uncomfortable. I'm sorry about it.

• 43:23Speaker 03

  Don't you need to, don't you need to, can I even sing the song on here?

• 43:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a really good point. I'm turning my chair just in case, but that's, he's making a really good point.

• 43:31Pablo Torre?

  No, no, no, we are going to, uh...

• 43:33Speaker 03

  I don't wanna be sued by Chris Martin for singing this song and also be singing it badly.

• 43:38Pablo Torre?

  Well, what if we're journalistically analyzing it, such that we are gonna fair use... We're gonna fair use your rendition of this song, so...

• 43:49Speaker 02

  Is it fix you?

• 43:52Speaker 02

  I think I know somebody who was one of the producers on that album. So maybe we could call him.

• 43:57Speaker 03

  Maybe they'll hire me?

• 44:00Speaker 02

  We got a new OmniChord!

• 44:01Pablo Torre?

  Does that make them more or less likely to litigate?

• 44:03Speaker 03

  Hey, you know that sound you've been looking for? Well, this is not it!

• 44:12Pablo Torre?

  I would like for you to play it and then we can figure out if this is a thing we can air or not. But.

• 44:17Speaker 03

  Why?

• 44:18Pablo Torre?

  Because, because, because.

• 44:19Speaker 02

  Good question.

• 44:20Pablo Torre?

  Because as Katie Nolan has turned her chair around.

• 44:23Speaker 02

  This is the Voice.

• 44:25Pablo Torre?

  I need to journalistically establish that we are going to discuss this. Uh, its contents, its lyrical value, its musical execution.

• 44:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:33Pablo Torre?

  Through the lens, of course, of how I intend this, which is as a dedication to Bill Balachek and Jordan Hudson.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  When you try your best, but you don't succeed.

• 44:46Speaker 03

  Oh, you got, you sing it, you sing it. I don't even know, honest to God, I don't know all the words.

• 44:50Speaker 02

  Look them up.

• 44:53Speaker 02

  But don't look at me, you know?

• 44:56Pablo Torre?

  Do you want me to?

• 44:57Speaker 02

  When you get what you want, but not what you need.

• 44:59Pablo Torre?

  Hold the lyrics on my computer in front of you like a.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  I can't believe it's happening.

• 45:01Pablo Torre?

  A physical karaoke machine?

• 45:03Speaker 03

  People.

• 45:03Pablo Torre?

  My Filipino destiny?

• 45:04Speaker 02

  This sucks.

• 45:05Speaker 03

  People listen to this podcast. This is gonna be.

• 45:08Pablo Torre?

  More than ever, actually.

• 45:09Speaker 02

  Oh, my God. This is a big moment for you.

• 45:11Speaker 03

  This, this for you. This is your, this is your way of going. We got too many people listening to this.

• 45:16Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, we were like, what if you jet skied over the shark?

• 45:20Speaker 02

  Let's cull the herd. Let's, um, let's have singing happen. Too many people here. Let's clear the room out. Michael?

• 45:29Speaker 03

  This is true. It is, it really is that. It's like, it's the me bringing my guitar to a party of this.

• 45:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:35Pablo Torre?

  Except in this case, the host of the party will not let you leave until he gets his dose.

• 45:41Speaker 02

  And girls are turning their backs. It's actually doing the opposite. I feel like the rats that are being driven out of the city.

• 45:52Pablo Torre?

  Listen.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  Do you really want me to do this?

• 45:55Speaker 02

  I think it has to happen now at this point.

• 45:57Pablo Torre?

  Do you want me to open the snack pack? Cause that's the backup plan.

• 46:00Speaker 02

  I can give you backup vocals.

• 46:02Pablo Torre?

  We gotta snack up, backup. That's all I got.

• 46:06Pablo Torre?

  So again.

• 46:07Speaker 03

  This has, this has a lot of like, um, long-term humiliation potential.

• 46:11Speaker 02

  Yes, it does.

• 46:12Pablo Torre?

  But this is not, it's not about you, it's about.

• 46:14Speaker 02

  The music.

• 46:15Pablo Torre?

  Bill and Jordan.

• 46:16Speaker 02

  Now that I'm not understanding.

• 46:18Pablo Torre?

  For whom I think.

• 46:19Speaker 02

  The connection.

• 46:20Pablo Torre?

  Because I believe, because journalistically speaking, I believe that this is a song that we can discuss in the context of journalism that allows us to use it for fair use.

• 46:28Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 46:29Pablo Torre?

  And this.

• 46:30Speaker 02

  I still don't think that's true.

• 46:31Pablo Torre?

  The contents of this, I think, are, I would say, this is, um, Jordan.

• 46:37Speaker 02

  But he tried his best and he did succeed.

• 46:38Pablo Torre?

  Hmm.

• 46:40Speaker 03

  Or.

• 46:40Pablo Torre?

  Or, well, maybe we should let the song decide.

• 46:42Speaker 02

  You're right, you're so right. Are we doing it or not? Cause I'm gonna throw up.

• 46:46Speaker 03

  Is this really?

• 46:48Pablo Torre?

  Katie's gonna look that way, I'm gonna look directly at Michael.

• 46:53Speaker 03

  I'm, uh, I am vibrating with anxiety.

• 46:57Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  Just thinking about all the ways that people will be able to make fun of me forever for doing. I mean, I already posted a video of myself doing this on Instagram.

• 47:03Speaker 02

  Which was crazy.

• 47:04Speaker 03

  Which was a kind of a cringe thing to do from the outset.

• 47:08Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 47:08Pablo Torre?

  That wasn't cringe.

• 47:09Speaker 02

  It was bold and brave. Just not for me, you know? It just wasn't for me.

• 47:14Speaker 03

  I, this is gonna be the last time we see each other.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  Probably.

• 47:17Speaker 03

  This is it.

• 47:17Speaker 02

  And I've had so much fun.

• 47:18Speaker 03

  This is it.

• 47:19Pablo Torre?

  We've had a good run.

• 47:20Speaker 03

  This is it for us.

• 47:21Speaker 02

  We really did, we really did. Five, six, seven, eight. Oh my god!

• 47:27Speaker 03

  I don't, why are there more microphones?

• 47:33Speaker 03

  Okay, let's just, we're gonna do this?

• 47:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, let's just do it really fast.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  Oy, do it at the pace that the artist intended.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  What the hell is this show?

• 47:42Speaker 03

  It's also not, it's not a good key for me, I should probably learn how to play it at a different key, it's too high.

• 47:48Speaker 02

  Also, I haven't warmed up my voice, I haven't had any tea today.

• 47:53Speaker 03

  When you, when you, mm, mm. Okay, let's just start over. When you, mm, mm, when you try, okay, mm. Fuck me, alright.

• 48:06Speaker 03

  When you try your best and you don't succeed.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  When you get what you want, but not what you need.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  Oh, that was a nice little run. I'm not turning around yet.

• 48:19Speaker 03

  When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep. Yeah! Stuck in a river.

• 48:29Speaker 02

  Beautiful!

• 48:30Speaker 03

  He can sing!

• 48:40Speaker 03

  This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out, a Meadowlark Media production. And I'll talk to you next time.

• 49:06Speaker 00

  At Humana, our Medicare Advantage plans are easy to understand and easy on your wallet, like offering more benefits than you'd get from original Medicare alone, and including dental, vision, and hearing coverage in every plan. And the best part is, every plan has a $0 or low monthly plan premium, which makes it easier to save, too. So this Medicare planning season, plan well with Humana. Learn more at gethumana.com. Humana is a Medicare Advantage HMO and PPO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.