Pod Insights Pablo Torre Finds Out Share & Scrotox & Tell with Katie Nolan, Michael Cruz Kayne Nolan and Pablo Torre About this episode Is Bill Belichick's girlfriend a Marvel superhero AND his momager? Why is Elon Musk lying about being a world-class gamer? And would you hire Dr. David Schlong? Plus: TMJ, POE2, foggin' it up, goin' all the way in, pre-mirror narcissism... and Chad Ochocinco's three-inch penis.
Further content:
DunKings 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quS-Ubn1tKA
Elon Musk rose to the top of video game charts. Now he has confessed to cheating. (Drew Harwell)
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2025/01/29/elon-musk-video-games-diablo-path-exile/
The Musklash (Max Read)
https://maxread.substack.com/p/the-musklash
'Labia puffing' is the latest NSFW cosmetic trend (Brooke Kate)
https://nypost.com/2025/02/04/lifestyle/what-is-labia-puffing-the-latest-nsfw-cosmetic-filler-trend/
Chins Are In (Brock Colyar)
https://www.vulture.com/article/hollywood-leading-men-plastic-surgery-chins-jawlines.html
Subscribe to "Casuals with Katie Nolan"
https://www.youtube.com/katienolan
Listen to "Sorry for Your Loss" by Michael Cruz Kayne
https://www.audible.com/pd/Sorry-for-Your-Loss-Audiobook/B0CGJSXSPF
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Pablo Torre? This episode of Pablo Torre Finds Out is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Medium Fries and a Drink is now $8. And look, I've chased down a lot of strange stories, but nothing quite like what's inside a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. It is 100% fresh beef, cooked right when you order it, with no artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives in the beef. The onions are hand-topped by someone who knows the perfect amount by memory, two slices of cheese and a star, and two pickles, side by side. So every bite gets both. And every time one's ordered, a cowbell sound rings in the kitchen. That's the grill master's cue to put a fresh patty on the grill. My move?
0:42 Pablo Torre? QPC, fries and a drink after a long day of recording. That is my happy place. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink, now $8 for a limited time only, only at McDonald's. For a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California. And for delivery, fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery.
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1:54 Pablo Torre? This episode is brought to you by Apollo.io. A lot of the stories on this show start the same way. Something that looks pretty simple turns out to be a mess once you look under the hood. Well, it's no different in the sales world. Your team has a tool for finding prospects, a different tool for reaching out to them, and a third for keeping track of it all. On paper, that's a system. In practice, it's a salesperson spending the better part of the day copying names from one tab into another, and not much of it actually selling. Apollo.io is a platform that helps sales teams find the right buyers and reach out to them. It brings prospecting, outreach, and follow-up into one place instead of several separate tools. It's used by sales teams of all sizes, from small businesses to larger
2:39 Pablo Torre? organizations, and it's built for teams who want less manual busywork and more time with buyers. If your marketing and sales teams are trying to work from the same view of the customer, it's worth a look. Sign up for free at Apollo.io. That's Apollo.io. Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out. I am Pablo Torre. Today's episode is brought to you by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. And today, we're going to find out what this sound is.
3:08 Speaker 02 They couldn't believe we weren't keeping our bush around?
3:10 Pablo Torre? Right after this ad.
3:13 Speaker 03 You're listening to DraftKings Network.
3:29 Speaker 02 Oh, my glasses are what I left in my jacket. You're not showing us anything, are you?
3:32 Pablo Torre? Undoubtedly.
3:33 Speaker 02 OK.
3:35 Pablo Torre? We get paid to your glasses?
3:36 Speaker 02 No, no, they're in a, like, hidden pocket.
3:40 Pablo Torre? How many?
3:42 Speaker 04 What do the other ones do?
3:45 Speaker 05 Don't worry about this one. This is your own voice, the first one.
3:48 Speaker 04 Do, do, do, do, do, do. Oh, yeah, lots of me, baby. What if I can make it only me and none of them? Can I just not hear them?
3:56 Speaker 02 You guys always have it cold in here.
3:59 Pablo Torre? Is it too hot?
3:59 Speaker 02 Oh, they're dirty. No, I just have a turtleneck on.
4:02 Pablo Torre? What's your glasses cleaning move? Oh, just rubbing it again, straight, dry, just real dry.
4:06 Speaker 02 You make it wet?
4:07 Pablo Torre? I fog it up.
4:09 Speaker 02 Oh, sometimes, yeah, sometimes.
4:10 Pablo Torre? The human body has its own Amazon device.
4:14 Speaker 02 What are you talking about?
4:15 Pablo Torre? You fog it up.
4:16 Speaker 02 Hold on, I'm going to move. I'm not in my spot.
4:17 Pablo Torre? Using the temperature of the human body, and then you wipe it down.
4:20 Speaker 04 Its own Amazon device.
4:21 Speaker 02 Is that OK if I do it wrong? I do everything right. Can I do this one thing wrong?
4:26 Pablo Torre? There are micro abrasions throughout the lens.
4:28 Speaker 04 Oh, you're going to have micro abrasions like crazy.
4:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, these things suck. I, you know, I wore broken glasses for three years before I finally was like, I deserve to upgrade these. I just, I don't like taking care of myself. I don't enjoy the act of taking care of myself.
4:44 Speaker 04 You know, something I think about a lot is the invention of the mirror. I've been thinking about this a lot lately.
4:49 Speaker 02 Screw that person.
4:50 Speaker 04 And if it hadn't been for that, you wouldn't have to. I mean, you wouldn't, you wouldn't think to.
4:54 Speaker 02 We wouldn't have cameras, we wouldn't have cameras if it weren't for the invention of the mirror.
4:56 Pablo Torre? Do we think a person, there's a person who invented the mirror?
4:59 Speaker 04 As opposed to?
5:00 Pablo Torre? Uh, a discovery?
5:01 Speaker 02 A discovery of a thing.
5:03 Pablo Torre? Of a thing that had already existed.
5:05 Speaker 04 The thing I think about all the time is like, if you got a haircut in the year like, you know, six, would you just have to like go down to the lake and be like, does this look good? Be like, no, nobody [BLEEP] splash.
5:16 Speaker 02 And then what if you look at it too long because you're so handsome?
5:19 Speaker 04 What if you look at it too long, yeah, exactly. That could happen, that could happen, yes.
5:23 Speaker 02 That's right.
5:23 Speaker 04 That'll echo in narcissus.
5:25 Speaker 02 Narc, narc, narc, narcissus, that's right.
5:27 Pablo Torre? Justus von Liebig.
5:30 Speaker 02 Found or invented?
5:31 Pablo Torre? Is credited with inventing the silvered glass mirror in, what year do you think this was?
5:36 Speaker 02 Eight.
5:38 Speaker 04 Eustace?
5:39 Speaker 02 Teen.
5:40 Pablo Torre? German chemist.
5:41 Speaker 04 German chemist?
5:42 Pablo Torre? German chemist.
5:43 Speaker 02 How late is it?
5:44 Speaker 04 That's, I'm surprised by that. This feels like one of those things where if we look it up someplace else, they're gonna be like, a Chinese dude invented this a thousand years before then.
5:52 Pablo Torre? Admittedly, I always have to say this now, this is the AI overview.
5:56 Speaker 02 Isn't that crazy that now, more than ever, I feel like, well, I should say I got this from the internet. So God only knows.
6:04 Pablo Torre? McGill University has backed this up separately.
6:06 Speaker 04 I'm putting him at 1305.
6:10 Speaker 02 I think it's like creepy late, um, but I don't want to be so wrong that it's embarrassing.
6:15 Pablo Torre? Yep.
6:15 Speaker 02 So I'll say five years after what he said.
6:18 Speaker 04 That's another Jeopardy [BLEEP]. This is not, this is Price is Right.
6:21 Speaker 02 Get your [BLEEP] game shows right. We're not all the same.
6:25 Pablo Torre? The Price is Wrong. 1835.
6:28 Speaker 02 That's what I said, okay, check the tape, I said in 18. I said in 18, I said in 18 and then I was like, what you said earlier, I was like, oh, I feel stupid.
6:36 Speaker 04 There's no way.
6:36 Speaker 02 Damn it, Katie, believe in yourself.
6:38 Speaker 04 You're telling me none of those people, King Tut, none of those [BLEEP] had a mirror?
6:41 Speaker 02 No, because I think once we got the mirror, then we got the lens, then everything changed. Like glasses happened and, and all that. But you wouldn't have needed any of that.
6:48 Pablo Torre? Are you doing a Don Draper, uh, sales pitch for mirrors right now?
6:52 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think.
6:53 Speaker 04 Or maybe they, maybe they just had like reflective surfaces that weren't mirrors? Is that possible? Like, could you have? I don't even know what that would be.
6:59 Pablo Torre? So let me give you some fine print on Eustace von Liebig in 1835.
7:03 Speaker 04 Okay.
7:03 Pablo Torre? A discovery, uh, by the great German chemist Eustace von Liebig in 1835 made mirrors widely available. Liebig found a way to coat glass with a thin layer of metallic silver by depositing the metal directly by means of a chemical reaction. So when it comes to the question, according to McGill University's page, how are mirrors made? The answer is Eustace von Liebig, 1835, uh, discovered that [BLEEP].
7:28 Speaker 04 Do you think he gets, like, his estate gets a nickel every time you look in a mirror? They should. Every time you look, you gotta send a nickel to Eustace. Says.
7:37 Pablo Torre? Eustace's.
7:38 Speaker 02 Okay, I'm glad we covered that.
7:39 Speaker 04 It's something I've been thinking about a lot. I should have made that my topic for the day.
7:42 Speaker 02 Do you have embroidered sweatshirts?
7:44 Speaker 04 Um, yeah, that's my, those are my initials right there.
7:46 Speaker 02 That's some fancy guy [BLEEP].
7:48 Pablo Torre? Oh.
7:48 Speaker 04 My wife got me one, I think like as a semi joke, and then I wore it every single day and now I have like five of them.
7:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, man, it's like your own merch.
7:54 Speaker 04 Yeah, not available in stores.
7:56 Speaker 02 No.
7:56 Speaker 04 Well, available in stores if you.
7:57 Speaker 02 The sweatshirt is, right? I assume you've got the sweatshirt.
7:59 Speaker 04 You could probably, you could probably hire J. Crew to put the same letters on it.
8:02 Speaker 02 Right.
8:02 Pablo Torre? Promo code Eustace.
8:04 Speaker 02 Right.
8:04 Speaker 04 Exactly.
8:04 Speaker 02 Interesting. Interesting.
8:07 Speaker 04 Yeah, I'm actually a pretty [BLEEP] interesting guy.
8:09 Speaker 02 Kind of a fashion icon.
8:10 Speaker 04 Yeah, well, I'm pretty [BLEEP] interesting, it is, um.
8:30 Pablo Torre? What was the Super Bowl like for you guys? Did you guys?
8:33 Speaker 02 I went to a party.
8:34 Pablo Torre? Me too.
8:35 Speaker 02 I haven't been to a Super Bowl party, and like, not a big one, but I haven't been to a, a, a social gathering for the Super Bowl in. A long time.
8:44 Pablo Torre? Why did you go?
8:44 Speaker 02 Because I had no reason not to. People that I liked were all gonna watch the Super Bowl together.
8:49 Pablo Torre? I think this is coming out of an episode that we did, committing to going to parties.
8:52 Speaker 02 Yeah, I know. I'd love to go to a party, but years before, I was going to the Super Bowl. You see, I had work. Um, and then usually I would either go to the game, or I would leave because the network didn't want to pay for me to be there for the actual Super Bowl, so I would go watch it, like, on my way back home somewhere.
9:09 Speaker 04 So you'd be like in the city of the Super Bowl, but?
9:11 Speaker 02 Or I would be like, I'd fly home and watch it, or I'd be like stuck on a layover or something. Then last year, Dan, like the last couple of years, like Dan went, and so I was just like at home watching it alone. And then this year I went to a party, and I was like, this, it's been such a long time. You miss a lot of stuff, but you don't care. That's exactly what this type of Super Bowl was for, for me. Was like, I don't really care. Gun to my head, go Birds, but I don't really care. I'll watch the halftime show. Excited for that, but like, don't have any high hopes for the commercials. It's been a couple of years of being disappointed by the commercials, so I'm not like, I need to sit down and make sure I see them all. I was like, I'll catch the ones that matter tomorrow when somebody says something about it online.
9:52 Pablo Torre? Right.
9:52 Speaker 02 I'm just gonna go watch the game and hang out.
9:54 Pablo Torre? So I have been to a Super Bowl. I went to the Atlanta Super Bowl. It was the Patriots Rams. It sucked.
10:00 Speaker 02 That was a very boring Super Bowl.
10:01 Pablo Torre? It was like 10 to 13 or whatever it was.
10:04 Speaker 02 There was a lot of threes in that.
10:05 Pablo Torre? Yeah, I remember sitting there, falling asleep during the game, and saying aloud at one point, "I missed the commercials."
10:12 Speaker 02 Yeah. And the halftime show was okay.
10:16 Pablo Torre? I don't remember what it was.
10:17 Speaker 02 It wasn't, it didn't go like I wanted it to.
10:20 Pablo Torre? I assume that Michael Cruz Kane's Super Bowl party is mostly him singing snippets from Maroon 5.
10:27 Speaker 04 I'm telling everyone else to be quiet while I sing Les Mis and the Super Bowl's on.
10:32 Pablo Torre? I texted you guys for, I think, what is obvious to anybody who has seen us previously on this program, cover a like truly insanely developing story.
10:45 Speaker 02 Yes, about Belichick's girlfriend.
10:49 Pablo Torre? Jordan.
10:49 Speaker 04 Jordan.
10:50 Speaker 02 I think it's just Jordan. Jordan. Okay, Jordan.
10:53 Pablo Torre? Look at how it's spelled.
10:54 Speaker 02 You're right.
10:55 Speaker 04 I like saying like Jordan because it feels like she's from the Superman universe, like
11:00 Speaker 02 Yeah.
11:00 Speaker 04 Kal- Al.
11:00 Speaker 02 Gorgon.
11:01 Speaker 04 Jordan.
11:02 Speaker 02 Jordan.
11:02 Pablo Torre? I believe that we need proof that she isn't, based on the rapid ascent.
11:07 Speaker 02 That's right. In a Super Bowl commercial.
11:11 Speaker 06 This ain't the Dunkings. Where the hell are Matt and Tom? Forget them suckers. Matt Damon and Tom Brady don't have the heart of a champion. We got a new squad, Dunking sequel, Affleck and Belichick. Dunkings!
11:23 Speaker 04 So this is just Cameo City, right?
11:25 Speaker 02 That's the Super Bowl. That's what the Super Bowl.
11:26 Pablo Torre? How would you summarize the Dunkin commercial, the franchise that this now is, I guess? For people who are not seeing this?
11:31 Speaker 02 Oh, I don't know. It's like a Boston Avengers assemble. Ben Affleck is sitting with his brother, who's wearing a pink Kangol bucket hat.
11:39 Speaker 04 And wasn't the brother removed from public view for a while?
11:42 Speaker 02 He sure was.
11:42 Speaker 04 He's coming back in the Dunkin commercial?
11:44 Speaker 02 No, I think he's come back before this and other stuff. But he's here, and arguably the better actor. But anyway, in the back, we see Belichick, who cut the sleeves off of his Dunkings.
11:55 Pablo Torre? Orange jumpsuit.
11:56 Speaker 02 jumpsuit. And next to him, in questionable hair and makeup. I don't know what they're trying to do to Jordaan, but it seems like they're trying to make her look like a stereotypical football wife or something. Or this is her aesthetic, and I'm just not familiar with it.
12:12 Pablo Torre? What was your reaction, Michael, when you saw Jordaan?
12:14 Speaker 04 I was watching the Super Bowl with my wife, my daughter, and my daughter's friend, shout out Lupe. And my son was at a Super Bowl party. This commercial came on, I screamed, "That's his girlfriend." And the three women I was with were like, "What are you saying? What are you talking about?" And every time they showed her, I went, "That's his girlfriend." And I had to explain to him the significance of it. But I was like, "He's this age, and she's that age."
12:41 Speaker 02 I wish that she was 27, so it'd be easier to remember that he's 72. And she's 27.
12:46 Speaker 04 24.
12:47 Speaker 02 But she's 24. And so it's like, man, this is the closest his age swapped will ever be to her.
12:52 Speaker 04 She's a third. It's an even third. Boom, boom, boom. Right up there.
12:55 Pablo Torre? There's a guy who's two to kids.
12:56 Speaker 04 Three Jordans makes one Bill Belichick.
12:58 Pablo Torre? The fact that she's here, I mean, I just want to point this out, right? Like, her being in the Super Bowl commercial with Bill Belichick, in this premise where it's like, "We're the Boston Avengers," and she's just there?
13:10 Speaker 02 Yeah.
13:10 Pablo Torre? It made me very curious.
13:13 Speaker 02 Is she from? She's from, I thought.
13:14 Pablo Torre? She's from the New England area. Again, a former competitive cheerleader.
13:18 Speaker 04 We're like 10 minutes away from her being the quarterbacks coach at UNC.
13:22 Speaker 02 She has a ring from a cheerleading championship.
13:27 Pablo Torre? Bridgewater State University in Massachusetts.
13:29 Speaker 04 She's like a baller cheerleader. She's real good.
13:31 Pablo Torre? She won a natty.
13:32 Speaker 02 A natty.
13:33 Pablo Torre? But just to say, like, Jordaan has accomplished plenty in her own life.
13:35 Speaker 02 Sure.
13:36 Pablo Torre? But in this context, and like, why? How did she make it into the commercial?
13:41 Speaker 02 Well, I could name a way.
13:42 Pablo Torre? It set me off on a bit of a mini reporting trail.
13:45 Speaker 02 Okay.
13:45 Speaker 04 Okay, here we go.
13:46 Pablo Torre? What I have been told is that Jordan essentially has been functioning as Bill Belichick's.
13:52 Speaker 02 Momager?
13:54 Pablo Torre? Momager.
13:54 Speaker 02 Nah-uh.
13:56 Pablo Torre? That is so much better than what I was gonna say, but she has represented herself essentially as his de facto agent.
14:02 Speaker 02 Okay.
14:02 Pablo Torre? The person who you need to go through to book Bill Belichick for a Super Bowl commercial. Or for the other commitments he has as a multi-platform personality. She's the gateway. And so in this case, what I have been told reliably is that Jordan happened to then use that power to be in the commercial as well. So again, more power to her, I guess, but she's a momager. Jordan is, Katie, I think you had it right. She's Bill's momager.
14:34 Speaker 04 Absolutely good for her. Go get it, girlie. You're fielding the phone calls.
14:38 Speaker 02 Yeah.
14:39 Speaker 04 Lord knows what it's like being Bill Belichick's one-third his old girlfriend.
14:43 Pablo Torre? Negotiating with the athletes.
14:44 Speaker 02 It's also like you're teaching him the art of yes. He's like in his year of yes. Where you're like, listen, I know you don't want to do it, Bill, but I said yes, and now it's a commitment, and now you have to go do it.
14:54 Pablo Torre? Katie for Brady has been outclassed by 24 for, I can't make this rhyme, but for Bill Belichick.
15:03 Speaker 02 I don't know if you saw Charlotte on her podcast, Sports Gossip Show, had like a theory that they were fighting? That these two were in a fight leading up to the Super Bowl? They think that she's posting to his social media, which would make sense to back up the.
15:16 Pablo Torre? Heard this.
15:16 Speaker 02 Right. And they think at one point in his story, he had just posted like the text of a link. WWW dot link tree dot com slash, and it was like the text of that was the story, which is obviously not clickable. It's not how Instagram works. And they thought that Bill made that post, so they must have been in some sort of a fight where he'd be like, I'll do it. And I just think that's interesting in this context of her being his.
15:38 Pablo Torre? She wasn't chaperoning.
15:39 Speaker 02 Right.
15:40 Pablo Torre? That.
15:40 Speaker 02 Right.
15:40 Pablo Torre? That story.
15:41 Speaker 04 And this is actually really interesting intel.
15:44 Pablo Torre? But I think the point should not be lost that Bill Belichick is doing literally the opposite of. What he used to do.
15:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, and I wanna be clear in saying that that could be, I hold space for the fact. Let me hold your finger, that that could be, that could actually be that because they're in love and she has changed him as a man and she's taught him about how like to live in the moment and to embrace the opportunities that you have and that they're like so in love with each other.
16:13 Speaker 04 And it's beautiful.
16:14 Speaker 02 It's beautiful. There is a chance of that.
16:17 Speaker 04 Yes.
16:17 Speaker 02 But when you make moves this way, when we're already going, you're how much younger than him? And then you see her show up in a commercial.
16:26 Pablo Torre? In the commercial.
16:27 Speaker 02 And then you hear that she's in charge of his career. That's when you go, okay, these are all also the traits of somebody who would be here for the wrong reasons. I need to see some of the traits that are evidence that you are here for the right reasons. Otherwise, you're acting like the evidence is adding up. It seems like you could be taking advantage of the guy.
16:49 Pablo Torre? But what if they're.
16:49 Speaker 02 And he's obviously taking advantage of the girl. So I mean, what is it?
16:52 Speaker 04 If they're both there for the wrong reasons, isn't it the right reasons?
16:55 Speaker 02 No, what is the reason?
16:56 Pablo Torre? What I believe mathematically speaking.
16:58 Speaker 04 Yes, two negatives make a right reason.
17:01 Speaker 02 At what point is it elder abuse, I guess?
17:03 Pablo Torre? Well.
17:04 Speaker 02 Is the question.
17:05 Pablo Torre? I feel like he has his faculties.
17:07 Speaker 02 He does.
17:08 Pablo Torre? He has his wits about him.
17:09 Speaker 02 Sure, for now.
17:10 Pablo Torre? Do we agree as a show, as previously established, that we should be able to sit in chairs that are turned the other way, like on The Voice and listen to?
17:17 Speaker 04 I think about this all the time now.
17:19 Speaker 02 I just wanna listen to a chat. I just wanna hear y'all talk.
17:20 Pablo Torre? Just talk.
17:21 Speaker 02 Just talk.
17:22 Pablo Torre? Just talk and then we can press a button and flip around to approve or not.
17:25 Speaker 02 Uh, I don't know if you saw at the NFL honors, um, Snoop Dogg made a joke about her. Football fan for a long, long time. I mean, I remember back when the Cowboys was good.
17:38 Speaker 02 I remember back when the Chiefs was bad. And I remember. Remember, what was it?
17:48 Speaker 02 Bill Belichick's girlfriend wasn't even born yet.
17:56 Speaker 02 He starts the joke before he remembers the punchline. And then he like buys himself some time and then delivers, like a little too much time.
18:03 Speaker 04 Like, do you think their relationship is a lot of Bill being like, how do you get the internet on here?
18:08 Speaker 02 Tell me what the scores are.
18:10 Speaker 04 How to get, hey, can you tell me how to get texts on my phone?
18:12 Pablo Torre? Is it always the same driver in Uber? Or is it different guys?
18:17 Speaker 04 It's like when your dad gets an iPad.
18:21 Pablo Torre? I wish we were in the writers' room for that, for the Jordan material.
18:24 Speaker 04 Yeah, Snoop, if you're looking for writers for the next time you host the whatever that was.
18:28 Speaker 02 The NFL honors.
18:29 Pablo Torre? NFL honors.
18:30 Speaker 04 The three of us are here, ready to rock.
18:31 Pablo Torre? An awards show. I do like that the NFL was like, we need an Academy Awards.
18:37 Speaker 02 So silly.
18:38 Pablo Torre? I love it. I love, I have a, of course, a tortured relationship with winning awards in general. We need and desperately crave external validation and yet.
18:48 Speaker 04 Not me, buddy. I don't need it from anyone.
18:51 Speaker 02 Nice. That's cool.
18:52 Speaker 04 I'm very comfortable in my own skin. Not a single person. Self-sufficient emotionally and psychologically.
18:58 Speaker 02 And what are you doing in comedy?
18:59 Speaker 04 What's that?
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20:49 Pablo Torre? I'm pretty sure this won't shock anyone out there, but buying a car is just a hard process. You have to figure out what you want from thousands of options, then you have to find somewhere that's offering a good deal, then you get hit with unexpected fees. But let's just break it down, and think about how you'd describe your ideal car to a friend. You know, something like, "good gas mileage, four-wheel drive, reliable, under 30 grand." Luckily, CarGurus makes it that easy. Just describe it to CarGurus the same way. With Guru, you search in your own words and you get listings, real listings, that match. No endless filters, just the car that fits your life. CarGurus also helps you shop with more transparent pricing, allowing you to see when dealer fees are included
21:33 Pablo Torre? so you can compare listings with greater confidence. And with more than 4 million listings, CarGurus has the biggest selection of cars. So it's easier than ever to find the right car and the right deal. It is no wonder CarGurus is the number one most-visited car shopping site according to SimilarWeb's estimated traffic data. So buy or sell your next car today with CarGurus at cargurus.com. Go to cargurus.com to make sure your big deal is the best deal. That's C-A-R-G-U-R-U-S dot com. Cargurus.com.
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22:49 Pablo Torre? I wanted to talk about this Elon story.
22:51 Speaker 02 The video game story? You know, you know I'm fired up.
22:55 Pablo Torre? So there are many ways to talk about Elon right now, and many of them are valid. And all of them have to do largely with him now running the federal government and cutting budget to like, people who need medicine for AIDS.
23:07 Speaker 02 No, he's making it more efficient, Pablo. You just gotta give him time. It's gonna hurt before it heals.
23:11 Pablo Torre? I believe that that is a valid method of talking about Elon Musk. But a more, I think, directly informative and illuminating one has to do with the story about video games. I have a lifetime of playing video games. At one point, I was, you know, maybe one of the best Quake players in the world. You're actually like a world-class, incredible video game player. Yeah. You're also, with the paragon board and the build, you're also an innovator there. Yeah, I've played a lot of video games.
23:42 Speaker 05 If you think about like Starcraft, or any game like Quake, any game where a lot of people are playing, to rise to the top, you have to be exceptional, period, as a human being.
23:50 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
23:51 Speaker 05 There has to be something exceptional about you.
23:53 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
23:53 Speaker 05 Are you in the top 20 in the world? The top 20, wow, in Diablo.
23:57 Pablo Torre? Yeah, yeah.
23:58 Speaker 02 Cooks from all my favorite shows.
23:59 Pablo Torre? That's right.
23:59 Speaker 02 Cooks from my programs.
24:01 Pablo Torre? Yeah, he claimed to be one of the top 20 Diablo players.
24:03 Speaker 04 The forest mage.
24:04 Pablo Torre? And he had just become, as of November 2024, the number one player in the world on these leaderboards with millions of people on them. He then proceeded to brag about how he then became a top-ranked player in a different game, a game known as POE, which stands for Path of Exile, Path of Exile 2 in this case. And this got the attention of some hardcore POE players, who were like, what's, what's going on here? How is the world's richest man, who is also running the federal government? And is involved in electric cars and rockets and space and hyper-fast internet connectivity. How does he have the time that is actually required to get highly ranked in these games?
24:49 Pablo Torre? So what happens is Elon goes live.
24:51 Speaker 02 Insane.
24:51 Pablo Torre? He streams himself playing KOE2. And these people, these streamers who are actual like hardcore experts and players are watching.
25:02 Speaker 01 Dude, you are not this far in the game and you're running past Chaos Arms. You are not li- no, I'm sorry, bro. Bro, bro, there's no way you are not leaving Chaos Arms on AC trade. AC trade Chaos Arms are valuable.
25:22 Speaker 01 Nah, he, this is a board account, bro. He has no idea what he's doing. He has no idea what, he literally has no idea what he's doing.
25:29 Pablo Torre? And they see that and they're like, something isn't adding up. Elon does not seem to know what he's doing.
25:36 Speaker 02 Like basic like menu navigation. Like I don't know that video game, but watching him kind of walk into wall. You're like, that's how a person that's doesn't play games plays.
25:48 Pablo Torre? The best part is that he's bragging about all of this. He's bragging about how he had this, his, this post on X in which he said, quote, "So many life lessons to be learned from speedrunning video games on max difficulty. Teaches you to see the matrix rather than simply exist in the matrix." End quote.
26:04 Speaker 04 Yo, I think this guy sucks.
26:08 Speaker 02 Based on what evidence?
26:10 Pablo Torre? So all of these people begin picking up on Reddit. They start compiling this dossier and they're like, okay, he doesn't know how to use a mana flask, which is very embarrassing, obviously.
26:19 Speaker 02 Very embarrassing.
26:19 Pablo Torre? He's picking items up by dragging them into his inventory manually. He is struggling to understand why he cannot pick up an item when his inventory is full. And he has, maybe indictingly, on his account, he has a tab for his maps called Elon's map, which is a weird thing to call it when you have all of the maps. Why wouldn't it just be maps? And so what it turns out to be is of course, a giant series of lies in which he has hired people to play the game for him. And he just lied about all of it.
26:53 Speaker 02 The most embarrassing possible thing.
26:56 Pablo Torre? Great question, Michael. Um, so what happens is Zach Hoyt, a popular gaming streamer known as Asmongold, he said that this is, I mean, part of the crime here is that if you're really into video games, this is horrifically embarrassing. The whole point is that you're actually like there spending time
27:18 Speaker 02 Right.
27:18 Pablo Torre? in the trenches playing these games. He's the one who said that Musk was insecure and lying about this. It's a truly sad day for gamers. And Elon Musk said in a since-deleted post that, quote, "He had been on hundreds of streams playing live with the world's best players," and that it was Zach Hoyt, in fact, who was not good at video games. He's good. My critic is bad.
27:39 Speaker 04 Actually, you're who's making this up.
27:41 Speaker 02 I'm rubber and you're glue.
27:43 Speaker 04 Your dad had an emerald mine.
27:46 Pablo Torre? And then he took Zach Hoyt's blue check away, naturally.
27:50 Speaker 02 As you do, because it's not supposed to be about earning it, you know?
27:54 Pablo Torre? But then, finally, as people began to assemble yet more and more evidence, uh, evidence that he, in fact, was doing something that's very common, which is paying other people to level up your character. Elon has to do an interview. And in that interview with a gaming streamer known as Nico Rex, he confesses, finally. But as a video game enthusiast, Katie, just let's talk about the sin involved here.
28:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's the most embarrassing possible outcome. Um, if I told people I was really good at video games, I would live my life petrified that somebody was gonna ask me to prove it. I would never walk around being like, "Yeah, I'm the best." "Oh, you want me to prove it?" I would never get on the sticks. Are you out of your mind? Why would you immediately prove it? You thought we wouldn't know the difference? It's this like, it's the thing about Elon Musk that has never made sense to me. Is this just blind faith in himself and the fact that everyone will buy it? So it doesn't really matter? And people are willing to give him that credit? And so like, as a video game person, I'm like, listen, my culture's not a costume. You can't, like, we don't make fun of people that are good at video games and say they don't have a job.
29:02 Speaker 02 And then a guy with like the most money, who does the most jobs, also is the best at the video games? It doesn't, the world doesn't work like that. And I feel like it's where I go nuts is when I'm seeing like, well, for Elon Musk, apparently the world is like that. You can just caught be caught telling an incredibly embarrassing lie and then just be in charge of the government. Like, what an embarrassing lie. This used to end people, stuff like this.
29:27 Pablo Torre? Yes.
29:28 Speaker 02 And he's not, he doesn't even go here. He's not even from here. And yet, in the face of the most embarrassing lie to be caught in, he's caught in it. And then he's like, by the way, you don't have USAID anymore.
29:40 Pablo Torre? You're bad.
29:40 Speaker 04 And the thing that's so embarrassing about it, because it is so embarrassing, is you don't need this lie.
29:46 Speaker 02 It doesn't help you in any way.
29:48 Speaker 04 It doesn't help you. Just leave it alone. Just be the richest man. But what it makes you think is how you do anything is how you do everything. So if you're lying about this, this is who you are.
29:58 Speaker 02 Right.
29:59 Speaker 04 Someone who is so profoundly incapable of feeling loved, that you have to jump through. And I'm also, oh, and, and I'm also the, I'm the best pole vaulter dead, and I'm also the best at checkers. You're [bleep] not, bro. Just leave it alone.
30:14 Pablo Torre? So this is why I, I love this story is because it is deeply symptomatic of a larger character. And the character is the guy, to Katie's point, who's like, deeply, deeply unworried that all of the morons out there are ever gonna catch on.
30:32 Speaker 02 Right.
30:32 Pablo Torre? And all-
30:33 Speaker 02 He doesn't respect you, guy who's simping for him.
30:36 Pablo Torre? He does not respect you. Like, look at his accounts. Like, the way he handles any conversation about anything is reflective of somebody who just doesn't respect the people reading.
30:46 Speaker 04 It really, it's like, it's so pathetic to me. It's so humiliating. And I have so much sympathy for someone that pathetic and unloved, except that he's got the hands on the levers of every bad thing in the world.
31:00 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:01 Pablo Torre? So eventually what happens, because Elon Musk tries to deny and counter insult and spin, and then he ends up getting in a conversation with a gaming streamer known as Nico Rex. And Nico Rex asks him, point blank, quote, "Have you ever level boosted," parentheses, "had someone else play your accounts," and parentheses, "and/or purchased gear slash resources?" For P O E two and Diablo four. And Musk says, 100 emoji. It's impossible to beat players in Asia if you don't.
31:34 Speaker 02 Oh, my God.
31:41 Pablo Torre? It is perfect.
31:43 Speaker 04 Just what an incredible, like, a little, a soup song of racism.
31:46 Speaker 02 And here's the thing. And you know what? That soup song, it puts it in people's mouths. And then they go, oh, he's right.
31:53 Pablo Torre? He says, all top characters require multiple people playing the account to win a leveling race. He is, he is continuing to now, by the way, he also says, uh, he's asked, would you apologize to the P O E two community? And he says, what would I be apologizing for? And I'm just like.
32:09 Speaker 04 It's, I, I don't know anything about gaming. So like, maybe you do, if you want to be the number one ranked player.
32:13 Pablo Torre? But the point is.
32:14 Speaker 04 Five or whatever game you're playing, you might need to have 10 guys get together and all be like, trade in their masturbating points to get to the top of the thing, whatever it is. But, but you should just be honest, just be like, you know.
32:27 Pablo Torre? Well, that, the thing is.
32:28 Speaker 04 And also, sorry, sorry, just one more thing. He sucks though, right? Isn't that what we found out? You're not one of the, it's not, you're like one of the top guys in the rotation. You suck. You're the worst guy on the team.
32:37 Pablo Torre? He is telling us now officially that he is lying and cheating about wildly small stakes stuff.
32:44 Speaker 02 Right.
32:45 Pablo Torre? That isn't actually important to his fortunes, literally speaking. And so the question I have whenever it comes to like, so what do you think of this guy is like, just know he's that guy. What else is that guy doing when it comes to stuff that actually does?
33:00 Speaker 02 Why wouldn't he employ the same tactics, but probably on like a bigger scale?
33:05 Speaker 04 Why do you trust this guy?
33:06 Pablo Torre? It's also.
33:07 Speaker 04 He's a liar. He's a cheat, literally a cheater and a liar. His excuse for it also is such a window into his psyche that's like, well, everybody's cheating. Not everybody, no.
33:18 Speaker 02 Right.
33:18 Speaker 04 You think that because that's your nature.
33:20 Speaker 02 Exactly. You're thinking that everybody thinks the way you do.
33:23 Speaker 04 He's like a perfect character for our time, though. I don't know.
33:26 Speaker 02 It's in a, in a cool way.
33:27 Speaker 04 He's literally the avatar for all of civilization right now.
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36:59 Speaker 04 I read an article in the New York Post, absolutely amazing publication.
37:03 Speaker 02 Had to be real.
37:03 Speaker 04 About a trend, also must be a trend because the New York Post says that it is.
37:07 Speaker 02 Two people have done it online.
37:08 Speaker 04 About women doing something called labia puffing, where you take filler or like botox or something and inject it into your labia to make your labia look younger, I guess? Puffy, certainly puffier. What is not in dispute is that it becomes puffier.
37:31 Speaker 02 The puffier is the younger. We don't have to pretend those are separate. That's younger.
37:35 Speaker 04 I believe that, I guess I don't, what I thought about it the second that I read it is, I don't think that most men, and maybe you're not doing it for men, I don't think that most men get to the point in a, in an encounter. Where they go, you know, I wish the labia looked younger. I think at that point, you're mostly like, I'm actually really enjoying myself. And I'd like to keep going in the direction that I was going.
38:10 Speaker 02 I don't mean to rain on a parade, but I feel like you were not single and seeking. How long have you been married?
38:17 Speaker 04 A very long time. I've been married since 2008 or something.
38:21 Speaker 02 We weren't in our porn brain era.
38:24 Speaker 04 Okay.
38:25 Speaker 02 As heavily then.
38:26 Speaker 04 So you think that porn is so, like, the culture's so infected?
38:30 Speaker 02 I think it has an effect on the sexual interactions of single people now. I think it's different than it was for us. And this happens in every generation where like our, our generation, I don't even really want to talk about this. I feel like our, the difference between my mom's and mine was that like, they couldn't believe we weren't keeping our bush around. And I feel like that was because you wanted to look younger. This might be that. I just think you're right for your, it makes sense for you. But I don't know that that's the way it is for kids now.
38:58 Speaker 04 Yeah, I assume this is like how some people don't like Kendrick Lamar. You're like, this is my that.
39:02 Pablo Torre? Yeah, this is a, this is a hinge category, I believe. Just like labia.
39:05 Speaker 02 How, how thick are your labium? Is your, is one labium?
39:09 Pablo Torre? And there's like a score.
39:10 Speaker 02 Right.
39:11 Pablo Torre? Um, this is the headline from the New York Post. Labia puffing is the latest NSFW cosmetic trend. Quote, "I'm getting turned on just looking at myself."
39:19 Speaker 02 Oh, my God, what?
39:20 Pablo Torre? End quote.
39:21 Speaker 02 What?
39:21 Pablo Torre? So that was said, uh, by a patient, according to this person, whose last name is, uh, Milhouse, which I appreciate. Milhouse is, hold on, it's good.
39:33 Speaker 04 Isn't there, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but also wasn't there recently a, like, scrotax? Isn't that also a thing where the dudes are injecting the, the dudes are?
39:45 Pablo Torre? You guys are killing my.
39:46 Speaker 02 Scrotox?
39:47 Pablo Torre? My Google search history.
39:48 Speaker 02 Scrotox? Where are you getting this information? And that's to make them less wrinkly, less.
39:53 Speaker 04 I think to make your.
39:54 Speaker 02 Less veiny?
39:55 Speaker 04 Or maybe less droopy, or I don't know.
39:57 Speaker 02 I'm not, and this is, a porn brain doesn't change this at all. The balls aren't getting a lot of airtime with my eyes. I'm not really gazing upon your sack. I don't know.
40:08 Speaker 04 Behold, where were you 10 years ago?
40:11 Speaker 02 What are we doing? I'm, do it in the dark, close your eyes and [BLEEP] get off. What are we doing? Why are you like, mm, this doesn't hold up under a, in a ring light?
40:21 Pablo Torre? Scrotox is a cosmetic procedure that involves injecting botox.
40:25 Speaker 04 Is this also in the New York Post?
40:26 Speaker 02 For what? To what end? Because you're putting a toxin next to your boys. That's not a good idea.
40:31 Pablo Torre? Well, according to this Healthline.com story, which I believe is a real publication, but may not be, frankly. Scrotox was first used as a way to relieve scrotum pain if surgery didn't resolve the issue.
40:42 Speaker 02 And that's fine. That's like for the jaw people when they have, what's that called? TMJ? And they get botox for that. And it's like a medical treatment of the thing.
40:52 Pablo Torre? I've had some TMJ.
40:53 Speaker 02 You might need to get some tox. Or maybe this is like when people say that they broke their nose, but it was actually just a cover for...
40:58 Speaker 04 No, I remember, I had pretty bad TMJ, so I got botox in my scrotum to kind of fix that.
41:06 Speaker 04 And now that jaw's basically good.
41:10 Pablo Torre? It was first used as a way to relieve scrotum pain if surgery didn't resolve the issue.
41:14 Speaker 02 Sure.
41:14 Pablo Torre? Since 2016, thereabouts, more and more people are trying it out to purportedly make their sacks bigger. And their sacks better. I'm getting this. I'm not sure Healthline's the authority that I thought it was gonna be.
41:24 Speaker 02 Sacks bigger and sacks better?
41:26 Speaker 04 Really impugns the legitimacy of Healthline.com.
41:30 Pablo Torre? Not sure their sacks bigger.
41:32 Speaker 02 This isn't an abstract. I'm not reading an abstract.
41:37 Pablo Torre? This is not helping my journalistic credibility.
41:41 Speaker 02 So the topic you brought was that we're making our lips puffier.
41:43 Speaker 04 I'm talking about what, well, it was jaw, chin, chins. But that made me think of, I had recently read a thing in the Post about labia puffing, which made me think of a thing that I had also recently read about Scrotox. And you can sort of, from this, tell what the algorithm is doing to me.
42:00 Speaker 02 What's the jawline thing?
42:02 Pablo Torre? Right. So the jawline thing.
42:03 Speaker 02 I mean, the world's trying to change you, and I don't think you should change yourself at all.
42:05 Speaker 04 Thank you. Thank you so much.
42:06 Speaker 02 Except your balls. They are shriveling and could use a bit more.
42:10 Speaker 04 Yeah, I'm posting a lot of.
42:12 Pablo Torre? Yeah, you should make your sacks bigger.
42:14 Speaker 02 We've all been thinking it. I'm glad we're finally saying it.
42:17 Speaker 04 So wait, what was the jawline thing? The jawline thing was guys getting hardcore jawlines. Like, you know, like taking fat from the back of their...
42:25 Speaker 02 Like Matt Rife, allegedly?
42:26 Speaker 04 Like Matt Rife. Matt Rife's in the article.
42:27 Pablo Torre? Can you explain Matt Rife's?
42:29 Speaker 02 Uh, handsome Squidward.
42:31 Pablo Torre? Very good, very good.
42:32 Speaker 02 No, Matt Rife started, his big pop, I believe, was he was on Wild 'n Out.
42:36 Speaker 04 He was on Wild 'n Out?
42:37 Speaker 02 And he looked very different then, so it was like it's, he, um, you know, because it was on TV, so you can look it up. Then he, I saw him re-enter the public consciousness via TikTok. He did a lot of crowd work, which is famously what a lot of comics post because they don't want to burn their material, so they just post your crowd work. Um, but he sort of rode that wave of crowd work, uh, clips. People really liked them, predominantly women. He had a very female audience and fanbase. Then he put out his first Netflix special, when he had all these female eyeballs on him, and he felt the need to open it up with a very hacky, um, sexist joke, which women were like, "What?" And he like made this joke and then clearly wanted it to be taken the way that it was. He wanted it to offend people and let them know he's one of the boys.
43:19 Speaker 02 Then he did like a Jordan Peterson interview, and you were just like, "Okay, so you're pivoting in a way I don't really follow." And, um, sorry, I got, I lost the plot. He got, uh, facial surgery.
43:29 Speaker 02 It's rumored, it's widely rumored, he looks so different now. He looks like a male model, he's got like male modeled jaw. And then somebody was like, "You know, he was on Wild 'n Out." People looked it up and they were like, "That's not what his chin looked like before." And then I believe there was a plastic surgeon who posted that he did Matt Rife's chin implant.
43:44 Speaker 04 You said you didn't read this article, but you're reciting every detail of the article.
43:49 Speaker 02 This is firsthand knowledge. I remember this happening. A plastic surgeon posted that he gave Matt Rife his chin implant. Matt Rife was like, "That's not true." And then the surgeon was like, "Now you can't take a joke." It was this whole big, um, I think it's weird when plastic surgeons post online about who their patients are anyway. That feels like a HIPAA thing to me.
44:07 Pablo Torre? It feels like it.
44:07 Speaker 04 Which is what makes you feel like it's not true. Because I feel like you actually literally could not do that.
44:12 Speaker 02 Could not, right. So, um, and so anyway, that, that was the, there was a lot of talk about his face. And it has seemed like, as with a lot of people who open that door to plastic surgery, it seems like he's reached a point where it's like, getting to be, he's letting too much of, you gotta like close the door and step away for a little. You don't look like a, you're getting uncanny valley.
44:31 Pablo Torre? Right.
44:32 Speaker 02 Sorry, I blacked out. Was I talking?
44:35 Speaker 04 I would say you went kind of insane for a minute there. You sort of did a thing where I think you were like, "I don't know that much about this," and then proceeded to give us, I think from birth, every detail about Matt Rife.
44:46 Pablo Torre? You were speaking in tongues at one point.
44:49 Speaker 02 Special wasn't good, did I say that?
44:52 Pablo Torre? But this doctor had claimed something.
44:54 Speaker 04 Yes.
44:54 Pablo Torre? Uh, that he had created for a quote unquote canceled celebrity. The greatest jawline ever seen. And this is a thing. The greatest jawline is an aspiration. Michael, how would you describe what the aesthetic is?
45:05 Speaker 04 I guess it would be like, look at me.
45:07 Speaker 02 Right.
45:07 Speaker 04 And then be like a sort of that.
45:08 Speaker 02 I'd say like, look at, find your face.
45:10 Speaker 04 Yeah, like find a picture of me on the internet or like look at me right now.
45:14 Speaker 02 MCK, Michael Cruz Kane.
45:15 Pablo Torre? It's honest duty.
45:15 Speaker 04 Pause the video right now and just be like, okay, so it's kind of.
45:19 Speaker 02 Like this, right.
45:19 Speaker 04 Like people would pay, I think a million or a billion dollars, they're saying for this.
45:23 Speaker 02 Right. To look just like you.
45:25 Speaker 04 To look like me. They'll do the whole, they'll do the whole face, yeah.
45:27 Speaker 02 Right.
45:27 Pablo Torre? Twelve thousand dollars.
45:29 Speaker 04 So it's obviously cheap.
45:31 Pablo Torre? For a hyper masculine jawline, a real bargain.
45:33 Speaker 02 I don't know, man. I just feel like if, if your face. The best version of your face to me is gonna be the one that you got. Because it's like, um, it all kind of works in, you don't realize that if you add your jaw, now your cheeks look small.
45:50 Pablo Torre? That's what this scrotum said, and look what happened.
45:53 Speaker 04 But I do, I think that, I think the thing that you've alluded to that does happen frequently that we all know is you start with the one thing and then you're like, ooh, you know what? I gotta.
46:02 Speaker 02 And then you fine tune too much. I do it with a lot of stuff in my life. Which is why I have not yet and will eventually probably open this door and start to work on this.
46:12 Pablo Torre? To get hyper masculine jawlines.
46:14 Speaker 02 But I, once I start, like, I wanna, if I'm gonna buy furniture for my house, I wanna research all my options, narrow it down based off on what I'm looking for, find the best possible available couch for me.
46:25 Speaker 04 But what ends up happening, as you're saying, is you buy, you've got your fucking shitty house that you live in and you put a fucking fire couch in the living room and you're like, the rest of the living room looks like shit.
46:34 Speaker 02 Yes, exactly.
46:35 Speaker 04 So now you gotta fucking redo everything.
46:36 Speaker 02 And on a deeper weird psychological level, if I look in the mirror right now, thanks to Leader Von Sleef or whatever. And I, and I.
46:46 Speaker 04 Absolutely correct.
46:47 Speaker 02 And I don't like what I see.
46:51 Speaker 02 Not my fault. But if I start to play with it and I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see, that's my fault. I told them to give me this nose. I picked these brows. Right now, none of this is my fault. I'm doing the best I can with what I got.
47:06 Pablo Torre? So this is where I believe there's a through line that connects us through our topics today.
47:10 Speaker 02 I love those.
47:11 Speaker 04 Beautiful.
47:11 Speaker 02 I love those.
47:12 Speaker 04 God damn it. Incredible.
47:13 Pablo Torre? Because the hyper masculine jawline I would use to point to in the barber shop of hair, of jawlines, is Tom Brady.
47:22 Speaker 02 Oh.
47:23 Speaker 04 Yeah.
47:23 Speaker 02 I'm sorry. I voted you.
47:24 Speaker 04 Thank you so much. I voted me too.
47:26 Speaker 02 Right. So you're outweighed. So actually.
47:29 Pablo Torre? But we saw him.
47:30 Speaker 02 I mean, is that his?
47:31 Pablo Torre? I don't know if he had that, but in terms of just like somebody who is tweaking himself in ways that are conspicuous perhaps.
47:36 Speaker 04 He's been tweaked, for sure. For sure, he's been tweaked.
47:38 Pablo Torre? Now, did he get what Dr. Benjamin Coughlin aforementioned alleged, maybe, maybe not, Matt Rife.
47:46 Speaker 02 Plastic surgeon.
47:47 Pablo Torre? Plastic surgeon. Uh, did he get the Benjamin Coughlin face BBL?
47:52 Speaker 02 Oh, my God.
47:52 Pablo Torre? Which moves fat from one part of the face to the other. Forty-one percent of his clients these days, his patients, are male.
47:58 Speaker 02 Well, it's about time. I will say that part. It's about time you guys start worrying about what you look like.
48:04 Speaker 04 Yeah, I like, I like how the direction we've gone in, which is like there's sort of these various pressures on women. Instead of being like, we're gonna fix that. It's like, you know what we'll do is we'll just.
48:13 Speaker 02 Pressure for everybody.
48:14 Speaker 04 Everybody's problem.
48:14 Pablo Torre? Yeah. I'm gonna break my legs and have rods inserted into them to become taller.
48:19 Speaker 02 Did you hear Chad Ocho Cinco tell Stephen A. Smith? He got his penis done?
48:25 Pablo Torre? We were, we were in action and she said in my ear, "Go deeper.
48:31 Pablo Torre? Stay with me now." And what hurt me is I was already all the way in.
48:38 Pablo Torre? So I had ran out of pee pee. And that is what caused me to get into amateur porn so I could perfect my craft in the pelvic area so I would never have to hear that again. I'm here to share my stories and my shortcomings. Back then, I've had surgery since then. Can I read you this headline from New York Magazine, June 3rd, 2016?
49:00 Speaker 02 Yes.
49:00 Pablo Torre? Chad Ochocinco says he's packing a three-inch penis.
49:03 Speaker 02 Oh!
49:05 Speaker 04 So that's from 2016, you said?
49:07 Pablo Torre? Yeah, I'm realizing that this is...
49:09 Speaker 04 So he's been talking about his penis size for a long time.
49:11 Pablo Torre? And somehow, we have not heard it.
49:15 Speaker 02 Also, I don't think you're allowed to use... I think there's a threshold for use of packing. I don't think you're allowed to pack a penis smaller than five, six. I haven't checked in a while. There's definitely a threshold, and three does not meet it.
49:28 Pablo Torre? What verb would you prefer he use?
49:30 Speaker 02 He is...
49:30 Speaker 04 In possession of?
49:31 Speaker 02 Concealed carrying. He is, uh, he's cherishing.
49:36 Pablo Torre? He is unburdened by...
49:38 Speaker 02 He is protecting.
49:39 Pablo Torre? His three-inch penis.
49:40 Speaker 02 Chad Ochocinco is in possession of a three-inch penis.
49:45 Speaker 04 And I think that's wonderful. I think it's great.
49:50 Speaker 02 Well, not anymore. He doesn't have a three-inch penis.
49:52 Speaker 04 Whatever size it is, I think it's great.
50:07 Pablo Torre? What did we find out today on Pablo Torre Finds Out, a show about finding out about apparently three-inch penises?
50:13 Speaker 02 I think what we found out today was it's never anything.
50:18 Speaker 04 I, I didn't know about all these fun games you could play, about the Diablo 4 and the POE 2 and how you could be a... Oh, maybe I said the thing about a forest mage.
50:29 Pablo Torre? You sound like, you sound like Bill Belichick trying to summarize.
50:33 Speaker 04 Trying to explain, like, uh...
50:34 Pablo Torre? RPG video game.
50:35 Speaker 02 I found out Jordana is his momager. I did find that out. I didn't know that coming into today. Sorry. It's really important to me to like, make sure I give him something and I never bring it prepared because I'm supposed to find it out, right? Sorry, I just, I think I found out that she's his momager.
50:49 Pablo Torre? I, I think that's true. I co-sign that. Um, I found out that...
50:55 Pablo Torre? Oh, oh.
50:57 Speaker 04 Say it, yeah, good. This is good.
50:59 Pablo Torre? When I look at my scrotum later today...
51:01 Speaker 02 Which everyone does at 7:00 PM.
51:03 Pablo Torre? I know who to thank for the mirror I'm standing in front of.
51:07 Speaker 02 Perfect.
51:16 Pablo Torre? This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out, a Meadowlark Media production.
51:22 Pablo Torre? And I'll talk to you next time.
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