Pod Insights Pablo Torre Finds Out What It Means to Be Cool, with Kevin Wildes About this episode The world is in desperate need of a vibes transfusion. And so we asked Kevin Wildes — co-host of FS1's "First Things First” and professional counterbalance to Nick Wright — for something even bigger than Jordan vs. LeBron. Ol' K. W. has assembled nothing short of a master list of 71 (!) things that are, in fact, cool. And PTFO's official Cool Committee debates the door policy at a club where anyone, in theory, can be a member... whether you have whale bodyguards or not.
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Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Pablo Torre? This episode of Pablo Torre Finds Out is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Medium Fries and a Drink is now $8. And look, I've chased down a lot of strange stories, but nothing quite like what's inside a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. It is 100% fresh beef, cooked right when you order it, with no artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives in the beef. The onions are hand-topped by someone who knows the perfect amount by memory, two slices of cheese and a star, and two pickles, side by side. So every bite gets both. And every time one's ordered, a cowbell sound rings in the kitchen. That's the grill master's cue to put a fresh patty on the grill. My move?
0:42 Pablo Torre? QPC, fries and a drink after a long day of recording. That is my happy place. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink, now $8 for a limited time only, only at McDonald's. For a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California. And for delivery, fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery.
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1:54 Pablo Torre? This episode is brought to you by Apollo.io. A lot of the stories on this show start the same way. Something that looks pretty simple turns out to be a mess once you look under the hood. Well, it's no different in the sales world. Your team has a tool for finding prospects, a different tool for reaching out to them, and a third for keeping track of it all. On paper, that's a system. In practice, it's a salesperson spending the better part of the day copying names from one tab into another, and not much of it actually selling. Apollo.io is a platform that helps sales teams find the right buyers and reach out to them. It brings prospecting, outreach and follow-up into one place instead of several separate tools. It's used by sales teams of all sizes, from small businesses to larger
2:39 Pablo Torre? organizations, and it's built for teams who want less manual busy work and more time with buyers. If your marketing and sales teams are trying to work from the same view of the customer, it's worth a look. Sign up for free at Apollo.io. That's Apollo.io. Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out. I am Pablo Torre and today we're going to find out what this sound is.
3:07 Pablo Torre? Right after this ad.
3:10 Speaker 02 You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network.
3:26 Pablo Torre? What's the situation here? Are we... Sweet.
3:34 Speaker 03 Have we started?
3:35 Pablo Torre? I think we have.
3:36 Speaker 03 Great.
3:36 Pablo Torre? This is a very loud new chair. That's an FYI.
3:39 Speaker 03 Okay. I'm ready to make a proclamation, but you can start us.
3:44 Pablo Torre? I would like to start with your proclamation.
3:46 Speaker 03 Wherever you think this podcast is going to go,
3:51 Speaker 03 because you've caught me in such a unique headspace, it's going to go further away than you think it's going to. And here's the thing. If you don't like it, I'm okay just severencing this podcast. And be like, you know what? That never happened. We, you know, we just delete it.
4:13 Pablo Torre? Yep. I'm going to go home and have no memory.
4:15 Speaker 03 Yeah. Of like, oh, Gabe Wilds a pithy thesis while he was on vacation and he became like a different person.
4:24 Pablo Torre? You have a sheaf of papers.
4:25 Speaker 03 Yeah.
4:26 Pablo Torre? You're always full of ideas. But now you're like champing at the bit. By popular demand, by the way, and Kevin Wildes, I should say your name aloud for people not watching on YouTube. By popular demand, you're here and I thank you for that.
4:38 Speaker 03 You sent me a text, maybe on when I was on vacation. Yeah, I think it was.
4:43 Pablo Torre? Yep.
4:43 Speaker 03 I was in Maui.
4:45 Pablo Torre? It took you a couple of days to the point where I was like, I don't know if Kevin likes this idea.
4:49 Speaker 03 Well, that's another part, another leaf I'm turning over. Less phone, like just enough with the phones.
4:57 Pablo Torre? So actually disengaging or doing the thing that I've been trying to do, which is also admittedly trying to be tardy enough so that everyone's expectations for my responsiveness are reduced.
5:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, treat it like a letter, like a very fast letter. Like you wrote me a letter. I got it. I'm thinking about it. Here's your letter back, but it's very fast, a day.
5:17 Pablo Torre? Hmm.
5:18 Speaker 03 In the olden days.
5:19 Pablo Torre? Right. Not Ken Burn Civil War letter.
5:21 Speaker 03 No.
5:21 Pablo Torre? But closer to.
5:23 Speaker 03 You know, your birthday card from your parents.
5:25 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
5:25 Speaker 03 It's coming. Alright, so you sent me a text that said.
5:29 Pablo Torre? One embryonic topic, and this was Saturday, uh, 1:32 PM. One embryonic topic I'm meditating on for you. I don't like myself as I read my words aloud, but this is what I am. What it means to be quote unquote, cool. Who the coolest people are, whether it can be taught, how effort intersects with cool, risks of embarrassment, the coolest things we've ever seen.
5:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
5:50 Pablo Torre? And you didn't respond for hours. Actually, then you got to me and you said, quote, this is cool.
5:55 Speaker 03 Yeah.
5:56 Pablo Torre? Nothing else. And then you made me wait, uh, a day and a half. And then Monday morning, you said, I'm back and working on this.
6:04 Speaker 03 And now I have 20 pages. So this, this is where I was at.
6:08 Pablo Torre? So many papers in front of you.
6:09 Speaker 03 Headspace wise. Because I figured when you sent me a text, you just want to talk about like, hey, Michael Jordan sure was cool. I'm like, yeah. Hey, remember when Vince Carter jumped over Frederick Weis? That was cool, right? Like, yep, that's cool. And, you know, Led Zeppelin's cool. Like, yeah, everybody knows that stuff. So I'm like, how do I put a twist on this? And I just so happened to be in Maui. Have you been to Hawaii?
6:34 Pablo Torre? I've been to Kauai.
6:35 Speaker 03 Oh, man, we wanted to go to Kauai.
6:38 Pablo Torre? It's so good.
6:38 Speaker 03 Kauai is even more naturey than Maui.
6:41 Pablo Torre? It is. It's where they filmed Jurassic Park.
6:42 Speaker 03 Oh, okay. So this will be right in your wheelhouse. Did you, were there whales there?
6:47 Pablo Torre? Of course there were.
6:47 Speaker 03 Okay. I know you're a big whale aficionado as well.
6:50 Pablo Torre? My bachelor party involved. Whale watching.
6:53 Speaker 03 Did it really?
6:54 Pablo Torre? San Juan Islands. Saw a fully breaching humpback whale.
6:58 Speaker 03 So did I. Not at your bachelor party. Eight days ago, dude.
7:02 Pablo Torre? Um, my skin's tingling.
7:03 Speaker 03 Okay, so this is where it happened. We get to Maui. I wasn't aware prior to this vacation.
7:12 Speaker 03 I didn't even know the humpback whale's schedule.
7:14 Pablo Torre? Oh, yeah.
7:15 Speaker 03 I didn't know what schedule they were on. I thought they were just kind of roaming around. Nope. The humpback whales from Alaska and the humpback whales from Antarctica. They, they come and converge. They have a little meetup. To give birth to their babies and then kind of nurture them. In Hawaii.
7:34 Pablo Torre? In the warm waters.
7:36 Speaker 03 Holy cow. So anyways, we get there and there's all these blowholes popping off in the horizon. And we're screaming like maniacs and like, yeah, it's whale season. And it's like when you, shout out to all the European tourists that come to Central Park and start taking pictures of the squirrels. Like, guys, you need to chill. There's plenty of them.
7:58 Speaker 03 You don't need to take pictures of them.
7:59 Pablo Torre? I rarely feel cooler than when I am the guy just like pointing finger guns at tourists being like, yeah, this is what New York is like.
8:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, we got squirrels. That was me with humpback whales. So there's little kayaks you can rent kayaks.
8:13 Pablo Torre? Oh, you, wait, you, you went in a kayak?
8:15 Speaker 03 Dude, we get in normal kayaks that they rent to people at the hotel. With a guide who's on a stand-up paddleboard.
8:23 Pablo Torre? What's this guy look like?
8:24 Speaker 03 Awesome, obviously. Dude's getting whale watching tours.
8:27 Pablo Torre? He looks like a human stand-up paddleboard.
8:29 Speaker 03 He's amazing. He's ama- and his vibe is immaculate, of course. I just, that guy's day-to-day quality of life. I, we're, we should be jealous. He's just fantastic. Shout out to John. So John takes us out because we don't know how deep to go. We're, we're chasing the blowholes. So we're just hanging out. And next thing you know, here come the humpback whales in the distance, but nearby. Uh, baby.
8:55 Speaker 03 Mother. And then the escort. Do you know about this?
8:58 Pablo Torre? Oh, wait.
8:59 Speaker 03 Traveling pods of three. So the escort is either like a senior whale or like mom's friend.
9:06 Speaker 03 It's not the dad. And then the John tells, shows us, he puts his, uh, um, GoPro, he shows us a video of the GoPro. It's the baby and the mom like kinda side by side. And then the escort's kinda just like, like, like a security guard for a celebrity.
9:20 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
9:21 Speaker 03 Just like looming.
9:22 Pablo Torre? Not whale prostitute, whale.
9:24 Speaker 03 No, whale escort. Yeah, your bodyguard. So anyways. So then the whales start, the whales are doing their thing. Uh, me and my son, Russell, we're just sitting in the kayak and then the big circles start to happen.
9:36 Pablo Torre? Yes.
9:37 Speaker 03 We're like, what in the world?
9:39 Pablo Torre? Lunch feeding?
9:39 Speaker 03 Uh, no, this, it's just the way, it's just something's happening underneath us. And then, then we're in a circle. We're like, what in the world? We gotta start paddling backwards. Whales come, then a whale breaches right in front of us. Unbelievable.
9:52 Pablo Torre? Like whales, there's nothing you and I love more than a good pod.
9:56 Speaker 03 Okay. A whale pod you're talking about?
9:58 Pablo Torre? You know.
9:59 Speaker 03 No ponds, no ponds. Okay, so. Then I'm on the beach. And I go under the water, right? And I'm, you know, I like to swim under the water. Nothing.
10:10 Pablo Torre? Body surfing?
10:12 Speaker 03 Yeah, but this is, I'm just like patiently, like just going under the water, just opening my eyes.
10:16 Pablo Torre? Oh.
10:17 Speaker 03 It's pop up. Old man with a boogie board next to me. He says, you listening to the whales? I said, what? He said, you know, you can hear the whales. I said, you can? He's like, yeah, it's like a elementary school concert of violins, poorly played violins. So I go back, I go back under, I hear.
10:48 Speaker 03 So I popped up. And I got your text at some point. I'm like, the world is amazing, dude.
10:57 Speaker 03 I was like, oh, like, this is a very spiritual moment for me and has like changed my outlook on this particular podcast. Because I feel like what's cool, what's not, you know, you see in the magazine list, oh, this is cool and this is not. Wearing your socks high is cool and wearing them low is not. And it's just there's an element of negativity to it. OKW came back from Maui. I've got a very loose door policy at Club Cool right now.
11:31 Speaker 03 Very loose. Hey, oh, yeah, yeah, that's cool. Come on in because the world is great and I'm feeling alive. Now we can start the pod.
11:57 Pablo Torre? Okay, so number one, deeply jealous of your vacation.
12:01 Speaker 03 I don't want you to be. I want to share it. I don't want you to, I don't want you to have any negative feelings. And I don't want to be like, ah, I did this. Just saying, like, I'm here sharing it. I'm just trying to spread the positive energy. Don't be jealous.
12:14 Pablo Torre? So when it comes to the nightclub that you are now, you have a very, I use the word Catholic in a different sense, a very Catholic policy, very open, come on in.
12:24 Speaker 03 Yeah.
12:24 Pablo Torre? No velvet rope, just.
12:26 Speaker 03 There's still a rope.
12:27 Pablo Torre? Few clubs have as much paperwork as yours.
12:30 Speaker 03 True.
12:31 Pablo Torre? You're holding, you're double fisting. You have, you've printed out what feel like, are those shot sheets? You have photographs? I can't read the words.
12:39 Speaker 03 Well, what do you want to do? I've got a lot of stuff to go through. Want me to just kind of throw it at you and you tell me, you know?
12:45 Pablo Torre? You used to be a producer.
12:47 Speaker 03 I don't know.
12:47 Pablo Torre? Now you're.
12:48 Speaker 03 This feels like a meeting, though.
12:50 Pablo Torre? You're now an in-demand talent and I'd like you to run the meeting.
12:53 Speaker 03 Okay, first off. So I Googled what cool is and AI came up with something. AI.
13:02 Pablo Torre? Uncool?
13:03 Speaker 03 It's fine, I guess. It gave me a stupid list of what cool is. It's AI doesn't work.
13:10 Pablo Torre? Oh, oh, we're scrap- okay, you've, you've, you've thrown out the first piece of paper.
13:13 Speaker 03 It doesn't, I mean, it's, cool people are honest, they're diplomatic, they're good with others, they use humor, they have autonomy, independent, unconventional, don't conform, and they solve problems.
13:23 Pablo Torre? That's trash.
13:24 Speaker 03 No, that's not helping. There's nothing, you know what that sounds like? A robot wrote that.
13:28 Pablo Torre? Reddit.
13:30 Speaker 03 Oh, the Reddit community. So I went to Reddit. This is just like kinda-
13:34 Pablo Torre? You're polling the internet.
13:35 Speaker 03 Start, it's kinda starting an essay with like, the definition of cool, Webster's defines. Okay. Then Reddit had, there's two things that I pulled. One was, uh, kinda like psychology, which I got lost in. And then the second one, this person wrote it, 2000 Dragon, the handle is. I'll answer this from a filmmaker's perspective. The question was like, what's cool?
14:02 Speaker 03 When trying to create cool characters, the formula is competence plus calm plus confidence equals cool.
14:13 Pablo Torre? Competence, calm, confidence?
14:15 Speaker 03 Yep. It worked.
14:17 Pablo Torre? Okay.
14:17 Speaker 03 It tracks.
14:18 Pablo Torre? Okay.
14:19 Speaker 03 So I went through and so-
14:20 Pablo Torre? The CCC?
14:21 Speaker 03 Yeah. Four, even, even four there.
14:24 Pablo Torre? Oh, sure.
14:24 Speaker 03 Equals cool, so it works. Then I kinda came up with a Rosetta Stone of cool.
14:29 Pablo Torre? What does that mean? So I understand the Rosetta Stone is a way of being able to understand other languages?
14:36 Speaker 03 I kinda just liked the word Rosetta Stone rather than the Madden ratings of cool.
14:43 Speaker 03 So I saw this video. I wanted to get like something super famous. Certainly, walking on the moon is cool.
14:50 Pablo Torre? Hmm.
14:51 Speaker 03 But also kinda unattainable for most people. Then I saw this guy. I'd assume you haven't seen this video, but you are very online.
14:58 Pablo Torre? I, extremely. I, I know 2000 Dragons.
15:02 Speaker 03 Dragon singular. I like when I listen to the Chris Hayes podcast, you guys are talking about esoteric, random TikToks, and he's like, yeah, that guy's great.
15:10 Pablo Torre? Yeah, the hammer guy.
15:11 Speaker 03 What in the world? Have you seen this guy? I pulled a screen grab for it.
15:16 Pablo Torre? Oh, okay.
15:17 Speaker 03 I'll describe it.
15:18 Pablo Torre? Yeah, please, for theater of the mind.
15:20 Speaker 03 It's a gentleman fishing with a few of his pals. Looks like he's got a Miller Lite in his hand. And he's tapping on the water, okay? To get the gators to come near.
15:34 Speaker 03 Alligator comes right up to the boat. Taps it a little bit more, so the alligator opens its mouth. This dude takes a aluminum can of beer, pops it on the alligator's tooth, gives it to his buddy, who then shotguns it.
16:01 Pablo Torre? Some Flintstones.
16:04 Pablo Torre? Our bird is also our telephone. Our alligator is our bottle opener.
16:08 Speaker 03 So here's the thing. So I went back and looked at it. Is he calm? Yes. Is this dude confident? Yes.
16:16 Pablo Torre? Obviously.
16:17 Speaker 03 Is he confident? Oh, you want a beer? You want to shotgun a beer? Yeah, does anyone have a key? No. I have a gator tooth. Great, dude. He crushes it. And what I really want to... So what I take away from that, it's obviously cool.
16:32 Speaker 03 It doesn't matter how you look. It doesn't matter where you live. It doesn't matter,
16:39 Speaker 03 you know, your haircut, or your sneakers, or any of this other stuff. This is why my aperture is so open. It's just, this dude's just being him. And he's getting down to the raw authenticity of himself and doing cool stuff.
16:52 Pablo Torre? Are you aware that so far, a lot of your cool examples involve things that live in the water?
17:01 Speaker 03 I'm just going where the data leads me, dude.
17:07 Pablo Torre? And this is where I just need to jump in to say that our friend Kevin Wilds, the co-host of First Things First on FS1, and also a former producer at ESPN, he really does love data. He loves making sports infographics, actually, by hand. And when Wilds was in the PTFO studio in January, listening to me and his co-host Nick Wright debate the smartest person in sports media... Do I think I am the smartest guy in sports media? Obviously, I think that I would.
17:36 Pablo Torre? One regret I had was that I didn't tap into Kevin's passion for charts. And perhaps appropriately, charts about maybe the opposite topic from who is the smartest person in sports media, which is to say, what's the coolest thing in the world? And so today, before I get to my own story, which involves a guy I met named John,
18:02 Pablo Torre? I should warn you here that Wilds did not curate a list of five things, or 10 things, or 25 things. What he brought us was...
18:14 Speaker 03 71 things that are cool. We can discuss each of them.
18:18 Pablo Torre? It's a 50 minute show.
18:19 Speaker 03 I mean, I would go fly through them. Then the other thing you asked me was coolest thing in the world? Did you have a, did you think of something?
18:26 Pablo Torre? I have, I have.
18:27 Speaker 03 Did you assign yourself that?
18:28 Pablo Torre? I have, I have done so much less homework for this episode than you, but I have, I have some takes.
18:33 Speaker 03 It's your one.
18:34 Pablo Torre? I have some takes.
18:37 Pablo Torre? I ate lunch alone the other day.
18:40 Speaker 03 That's cool.
18:41 Pablo Torre? Went to Barney Greengrass, Upper West Side.
18:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
18:43 Pablo Torre? Establishment, Great Bagels, the Sturgeon King, more. Again, aquatic life. And I was asked, hey, there's no room for like a one person to get their own table. There's a four top. There's one guy here, his name is John.
18:59 Speaker 03 Great.
19:00 Pablo Torre? He's 80 something years old.
19:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
19:01 Pablo Torre? And there are two women, they're together. Do you guys want to share one table?
19:05 Speaker 03 All four of you?
19:06 Pablo Torre? All four of us.
19:07 Speaker 03 Like just communal?
19:08 Pablo Torre? And choose your own adventure in terms of how much you want to talk to each other.
19:12 Speaker 03 A lot.
19:13 Pablo Torre? And so I said, yeah.
19:15 Speaker 03 Great.
19:15 Pablo Torre? Of course.
19:16 Speaker 03 You should have brought a microphone, that would have been a great pod.
19:18 Pablo Torre? Believe me, I thought of it.
19:20 Speaker 03 You should have a, you should have a little travel kit.
19:24 Pablo Torre? So I almost put a wire on because John, what happened was, at some point, the waiter comes by and he's like, a table opened up, do you guys want to not do this? Because this is, he acknowledged this is a little much. And my move as a New Yorker is to say, and, you know, whatever John wants to do, I'm cool with.
19:45 Speaker 03 That's good.
19:46 Pablo Torre? And John, sort of like, very blasé, like, no, I'm good.
19:50 Speaker 03 Great.
19:51 Pablo Torre? And so me and John, that's my signal, door is open, time to start talking.
19:54 Speaker 03 Yeah.
19:55 Pablo Torre? John, turns out, uh, yes, he's in his eighties, I'm gonna look up his, uh...
20:01 Speaker 03 Oh, you can look John up?
20:02 Pablo Torre? Because John and I are just like shooting this [BLEEP]. Uh, and he begins to explain that he's a writer. And John is John Berrent, who is the author of a book called Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.
20:17 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, that's a famous book, dude.
20:19 Pablo Torre? Which happens to have been on the New York Times Bestseller List for 216 weeks.
20:24 Speaker 03 I think we have that book at my home.
20:25 Speaker 04 Midnight spent 216 weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List, more than any other nonfiction book in history.
20:34 Speaker 05 I never thought it would be a bestseller.
20:35 Pablo Torre? It became a movie, Clint Eastwood directed it. So the point being, like, John, who didn't give a [BLEEP] about anything, was down to either talk or not talk. Uh, he and I just started doing an unrecorded podcast.
20:47 Speaker 03 Does he lead with that? You know, I wrote Midnight in the Garden of Good... That's a famous book, it's not like a tiny book.
20:54 Pablo Torre? It's like a record-setting, it's about a thing in Savannah, Georgia. Two things about John, very eager to talk about it, but was honestly happy to just read the New York Times, until I said, "So, John, what do you get here?" And then we talked about order.
21:09 Speaker 03 Right.
21:10 Pablo Torre? And cool to me is showing up, putting yourself out there, and not knowing, is this going to be painful or not? And then being rewarded by the universe with the breaching humpback whale of one of the greatest authors, it seems, in nonfiction writing in at least, uh, you know...
21:29 Speaker 03 Well, that's cool.
21:30 Pablo Torre? Recent history of the United States.
21:31 Speaker 03 That's what I'm saying.
21:33 Pablo Torre? Eating alone. Cool.
21:37 Pablo Torre? Competent. Calm. Confident, all those things describe John.
21:42 Speaker 03 Home run, dude. Home run story. Is it the coolest thing in the world?
21:47 Pablo Torre? It's up there. Not, no, but no, not, not. And my list of 71 things, that's not number one.
21:51 Speaker 03 Do you have a number one? Cause I think I have a number one.
21:54 Pablo Torre? Yeah. I wanna, we should alternate. Or at the very least, I would like you to go next.
22:02 Speaker 03 Well, I have two, I have two more. I'll hold up two things, okay? I have all of these, okay? This is called, this one is called Massive List.
22:11 Pablo Torre? Yeah, it says it, you wrote it in all caps across the top.
22:14 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's all organized stuff. And this one is just the one that I think is the coolest moment.
22:20 Pablo Torre? Oh.
22:20 Speaker 03 But I'm not su-, this moment can just fold into all of these. Like, this moment is not necessarily cooler than, I'll give you just number 12, in no particular order, when owls turn their head around.
22:35 Pablo Torre? Yeah, that's cool. I went to an owl cafe in Japan.
22:38 Speaker 03 I've seen that!
22:39 Pablo Torre? It's so worth it.
22:42 Speaker 03 Nocturnal?
22:44 Pablo Torre? Great question. I also had, I was like, is this one of those like, uh, we are keeping the prisoners, uh, awake in a sort of like experimental torture situation? Uh, and I didn't get clarity on that because it was the daytime and these owls were spinning their heads around and seemingly cool with it.
23:02 Speaker 02 And these two, Ki and Gigi, and they look so angry, but...
23:08 Speaker 03 Ooh! That's good.
23:09 Pablo Torre? I got to pet several increasingly tiny owls.
23:12 Speaker 03 Oh, smaller?
23:14 Pablo Torre? Oh, yeah.
23:14 Speaker 03 I would've gone the other way.
23:15 Pablo Torre? Nah.
23:16 Speaker 03 It's a huge owl.
23:17 Pablo Torre? Well, you start with the big one and then you, you work your way to winning the trust of...
23:22 Speaker 03 The smallest ones.
23:23 Pablo Torre? Yes.
23:24 Speaker 03 Once you go through with your everything is cool, isn't it filter on? It's endless.
23:30 Pablo Torre? I mean, the bird as a thing, like, this is my whole Khan of Mammals take.
23:34 Speaker 03 Go ahead.
23:35 Pablo Torre? We fetishize the dog and I see of a, is that a dog on?
23:38 Speaker 03 Yeah, sure, so I'm glad you bring it up if you want me to jump your take.
23:41 Pablo Torre? Well...
23:42 Speaker 03 Here's a dog that, that herds sheep, but there's wolves out there, you know? So you know what this dog has on him? A collar of spikes! He's got a spiked collar, the spikes on this collar are about four inches long and it's so, uh, when a wolf tries to attack him...
24:01 Pablo Torre? His jugular is...
24:02 Speaker 03 It's basically, he's turning him into a dog porcupine. So that's number two. Go ahead.
24:08 Pablo Torre? That dog seems...
24:08 Speaker 03 Keep talking about dogs.
24:09 Pablo Torre? Uh, calm.
24:10 Speaker 03 Yeah, he is, dude. Herding sheep, just mind his business.
24:13 Pablo Torre? Yeah, I mean, that's a good, that's a good preempting of my take, which was, uh, dogs overrated, birds underrated, because birds, of course, can literally speak English and we don't care.
24:24 Speaker 03 Okay. Dogs can smell cancer, so like, let's slow your roll here.
24:29 Pablo Torre? Okay. I wanna, I wanna substantiate that. That is, that is a thing.
24:33 Speaker 06 So this is Lucy. She's a Labrador Cross Irish Water Spaniel. Rob Harris is training dogs to smell prostate cancer. They take urine samples from eight different patients. Now, one of the eight patients has cancer, and it's the dog's job to sniff it out.
24:51 Pablo Torre? They can smell like Alzheimer's as well.
24:52 Speaker 03 Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, they can't ask for, you know, "How was your day?" At the same time...
24:59 Pablo Torre? It's a real Jordan LeBron situation, dogs versus birds.
25:02 Speaker 03 Dogs have jobs, like, several jobs.
25:05 Pablo Torre? Birds don't have jobs?
25:07 Speaker 03 With delivering messages.
25:10 Pablo Torre? Eagles, they've trained eagles to take down drones.
25:13 Speaker 02 The Dutch National Police have found a unique way to take the flying device down.
25:21 Speaker 02 They have trained eagles to take down drones.
25:26 Pablo Torre? This is me...
25:27 Speaker 03 I mean, I, I...
25:28 Pablo Torre? The falconer, the falconer wrist.
25:30 Speaker 03 I do not want to be painted as anti-eagle. I'm just saying, you can come across dogs working. Dogs have jo- like, straight up have jobs. Dogs, they're, they're get, like, they're in the military, they're in police.
25:45 Pablo Torre? They do jump out of planes.
25:46 Speaker 03 Yeah, they do all sorts of stuff.
25:48 Pablo Torre? You know what birds can do?
25:48 Speaker 03 They're at the airport.
25:50 Pablo Torre? Birds can literally fly, so, you know.
25:52 Speaker 03 So this is my issue.
25:53 Pablo Torre? Cool parachute.
25:54 Speaker 03 This is, this, this is where I, I think that I don't want to get off on the wrong foot.
25:58 Pablo Torre? Yeah. This has become contentious.
26:00 Speaker 03 I think if you get the badge of cool, you're in the Hall of Fame. I'm not, I'm...
26:06 Pablo Torre? Hey, were you...
26:06 Speaker 03 The Hall of Cool. Are you Babe Ruth, or are you a guy who just snuck into the Hall of Fame, you know, recently? Doesn't matter, dude. My plaque is up. So whether you're... I had this originally. Jimi Hendrix closes Woodstock with the Star Spangled Banner. Number one seed.
26:38 Pablo Torre? Conventionally cool.
26:40 Speaker 03 It's unbelievable.
26:41 Pablo Torre? One, Marvin Gaye at the All-Star Game. That's my, that's my one seed.
26:46 Speaker 03 Are you kidding me?
26:47 Pablo Torre? That's my one seed.
27:04 Speaker 03 Or, you're just a kid in Little League who hits a triple and decides to slide head first.
27:10 Pablo Torre? Hmm.
27:11 Speaker 03 You both are doing your thing, dude.
27:13 Pablo Torre? That one is hammered to left. It's off the glove of Clem. And now to second and third. Yamaguchi's gonna score, heading to third. And in there with a triple, Bruce Boucher. What a day. Well, so this, this gets to something that I think is integral about what we're defining as cool, though, which is deliberate versus spontaneous.
27:37 Pablo Torre? Right? So you mentioned the slide, and I, I agree. The counterargument to a good slide is that it feels so practiced. So like, for instance, you, you know the thing that Baker Mayfield does? You've seen that, that animated gif of like him?
27:49 Speaker 03 I've seen it several times. When he slides and then pretends to be a photographer?
27:53 Pablo Torre? Yes.
27:53 Speaker 03 Unbelievable.
27:54 Pablo Torre? It's just like, the fluidity.
27:56 Speaker 03 Yeah, Baker is sick, dude.
27:57 Pablo Torre? It's just, it's like, that, that guy's fucking cool. That's cool.
28:00 Speaker 03 Yeah.
28:01 Pablo Torre? But then the question becomes like, what if you apply the standard of, what does it look like when he was practicing that in a mirror?
28:08 Speaker 03 He wasn't practicing that.
28:10 Pablo Torre? Okay, so this is a standard that we have to scrutinize. Does it undermine the committee's case if this thing was practiced, practiced, practiced? Versus felt as Jimi Hendrix, I think, did and spontaneously performed?
28:29 Speaker 03 No, you're allowed to practice it.
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32:11 Speaker 03 Some of my lists are just nouns, dude. So this is where I got into it. This is where I started to get into like, not just people.
32:21 Pablo Torre? So you're talking about proper nouns?
32:23 Speaker 03 No, just swords.
32:27 Pablo Torre? All swords?
32:29 Speaker 03 I mean, I don't know, most swords. If there was a sword here, that's cool.
32:32 Pablo Torre? Have you seen the Instagram account that is, uh, CoolSticks?
32:37 Speaker 03 Of course I have. Hello, Stick Nation. I'm here in Guarapari, São Paulo, Brazil. I found this beautiful, awesome stick. It's a white curly stick. And I found this here on this beautiful place.
32:53 Speaker 03 Yes.
32:53 Pablo Torre? Official stick reviews?
32:54 Speaker 03 Yeah, they're great, and everybody likes it.
32:57 Pablo Torre? So again.
32:59 Speaker 03 That's an offshoot of swords.
33:00 Pablo Torre? Well, it's like, what if? You didn't plan to make a sword, speaking to my practice thing and the nature and nature itself just presented you with an Excalibur made of bark.
33:09 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's, that's cool.
33:10 Pablo Torre? That's, that's objectively, obviously.
33:12 Speaker 03 Just raise, I'm, I've got so much stuff here and we're almost out of time already. Just raise, just stop me when you want to talk about something. Are you ready?
33:22 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
33:23 Speaker 03 They're not everything cool in the world.
33:24 Pablo Torre? You actually have 71 things, but I'm looking at your paper and there are.
33:28 Speaker 03 Some of them have A, B, C. Pablo gave me a job on my vacation. Hey, can you go through everything and everyone that's ever existed? And come up with a list and I only came up with 71.
33:41 Pablo Torre? You've been asking for it aside, but and I wish I could credit for this.
33:45 Speaker 03 Everything ever. So I just, this is just stuff that just popped into my brain recently. Surfers, obviously. That dog with the collar. Octopi.
33:55 Pablo Torre? I mean, ejaculates out of its tentacles, just as a side note.
33:58 Speaker 03 Spies.
34:02 Speaker 03 Bats, which is basically swords. Scorpions.
34:07 Speaker 03 Diving, but not necessarily Olympic diving.
34:11 Pablo Torre? Again, this whole thing of like, this feels very practiced versus this feels like a thing you do spontaneously and ecstatically.
34:17 Speaker 03 Old cars, cars from the future. Okay, this is where I, this is a large, large catchall. Pretty much all musical endeavors, pretty much all artistic endeavors, pretty much all dancing hard. Pretty much all motorcycles.
34:32 Pablo Torre? The committee needs a little bit more exclusivity than this.
34:37 Speaker 03 No, we don't. That's the point.
34:39 Pablo Torre? Pretty much all of, you just included.
34:42 Speaker 03 Pretty much every mus-
34:43 Pablo Torre? Spectrum of human performance.
34:46 Speaker 03 Yeah, I know. Pretty much every musical endeavor is cool.
34:51 Pablo Torre? Can I confess to something that I agree must be uncool? I was at my daughter's ballet recital.
34:57 Speaker 03 Okay.
34:57 Pablo Torre? And you know how this works? Like, there are like a hundred kids.
35:01 Speaker 03 I've never, just because I'm in the boy world, I've never, I'm unfamiliar with like dance recitals.
35:06 Pablo Torre? As the father of a daughter, I went to this dance recital and there are like a hundred kids. And Violet's like in the last quarter. And I, I am embarrassed to admit this, but in the interest of journalistic transparency, I will. Stuck an ear pod in.
35:22 Speaker 03 That's allowed.
35:24 Pablo Torre? For like, the non-
35:27 Speaker 03 That's totally-
35:27 Pablo Torre? The non-children of, of, of mine in attendance.
35:31 Speaker 03 My kids did a swim, did a, were on a swim team for a little while. It's like a five hour thing and then my kid gets in there and flops around for 45 seconds and get, and then comes out. Like, no, that we, I was like, let, we, we can't do this anymore. We have to, he has to be, even if he's on the bench in basketball, like, I'm looking at him, he's there, he's gonna get some run. Can't be there for five hours.
35:55 Pablo Torre? Yeah, I was, I was listening to podcasts.
35:56 Speaker 03 You can't do it, that's fine. Uh, you wanna keep going or you wanna argue about-
36:00 Pablo Torre? No.
36:01 Speaker 03 Skateboarding, pretty much all sports.
36:03 Pablo Torre? I recently discovered my, my sister in her house, uh, they have a skateboard and I'd never skateboarded before. Uh, I spent a week just like,
36:14 Pablo Torre? teaching myself to skateboard.
36:15 Speaker 03 How'd you do?
36:16 Pablo Torre? I've been posting Instagram videos that one of our producers here, Nadir, uh, he, he has been demanding that I show him what it looks like when I'm like, you know, and I, this is me revealing I don't know how to skateboard, when I'm taking off. Cause all I'm doing is like taking a video of me like, rolling along. Um, so I'm like, partially cool.
36:36 Speaker 03 Yeah, just trying it is cool.
36:38 Pablo Torre? Thank you.
36:41 Speaker 03 Almost all convertibles. Almost everything with a gas powered motor. This includes but is not limited to go karts, dump trucks, chainsaws, weed whackers, monster trucks and street sweepers.
36:53 Pablo Torre? What do you think about electric cars that have a device that makes the sound of a gas powered engine?
37:04 Speaker 03 Obviously, practical necessity for safety to gauge speed and distance. Obviously, cool to compose it because it falls under all musical endeavors.
37:15 Pablo Torre? I was gonna hold you to account.
37:18 Speaker 03 All turtles.
37:23 Pablo Torre? There's a, in Chinatown, I grew up, they sold tiny, tiny turtles that like live in like a whatever, a bowl of water and then inevitably die.
37:30 Speaker 03 I thought they grew super big.
37:31 Pablo Torre? Yeah, they die.
37:32 Speaker 03 Oh.
37:32 Pablo Torre? But they were cool.
37:33 Speaker 03 So does everything, yeah. We had sea turtles and, you know, tortoises, all turtles.
37:37 Pablo Torre? They get so old, they get so old.
37:40 Speaker 03 That's great. My buddy's got a turtle that's gonna outlive him. They need to like plan, they have to like do estate planning for it.
37:46 Pablo Torre? There's something reassuring, much like a redwood.
37:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
37:50 Pablo Torre? Which will outlive us, make us feel small, so too does.
37:53 Speaker 03 How long do you think those baby humpback whales are living? A good amount, right?
37:57 Pablo Torre? Oh, they've seen some things, yeah.
37:58 Speaker 03 Not the babies, the babies have just seen Maui like me. Almost all mechanics, maybe all mechanics.
38:06 Speaker 03 Pretty much any job that requires having a lot of stuff.
38:09 Pablo Torre? A superintendent's key ring.
38:11 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's, yes, that works.
38:12 Pablo Torre? For everything.
38:13 Speaker 03 Yeah, just any, whether you're a lumberjack, you know, any job where you're holding a lot of stuff. This is another catch-all that you'd probably be upset about. Stuff that is faster than that stuff usually is. People, animals, or vehicles. Just a little bit, just be fa, just faster than the normal thing. Whatever the standard for that thing is, if you're a little bit faster, great.
38:33 Pablo Torre? The committee demands, this side of the committee demands.
38:36 Speaker 03 Go ahead.
38:36 Pablo Torre? That, uh, you're trying to have your cake and eat it too. You're trying to praise everybody for their efforts. All efforts welcome, no judgment, this is an open division, and yet those who are surprisingly fast, you get bonus points.
38:50 Speaker 03 Yep, there's a little bit of bonus. There's a little, there is a little bit of bonus, lily pads. Also, stuff that is much slower than that stuff usually is. The last person at the, who crosses the marathon finish line. Sloths. Old jalopies. Any car that you have to crank in the front of it to get it going. Sunglasses. This is an odd one. People with long hair and barbers. Figure that one out. Venus flytraps, cacti, many trees, almost all sea life, almost everything that can fly.
39:25 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
39:25 Speaker 03 Old guys wandering around in flip flops with good vibes. People with their shirts off, crossing a river on a horse.
39:31 Pablo Torre? Hold on, the shirts off thing.
39:32 Speaker 03 Chill chefs.
39:36 Pablo Torre? The shirt off thing, I, I don't know if I can be down with that. In fact, I am not down with that.
39:42 Speaker 03 I put this in any, in the same category as people dancing. Okay.
39:48 Pablo Torre? Proceed.
39:50 Speaker 03 People are like, are you worried about being embarrassed? Everybody with, every dude with their shirt off is usually just crushing it.
39:59 Speaker 03 But it's a lot of it's just being confident. Who cares?
40:01 Pablo Torre? Right.
40:03 Speaker 03 Don't let the internet trainers get you down because you don't, you don't have trapezius muscles. Doesn't matter. Look at the guy who popped the beer on the alligator tooth. Most doormen.
40:15 Pablo Torre? Agree. Fully agree.
40:20 Speaker 03 Problematic zone.
40:22 Pablo Torre? Oh, wait, that, this is a, this is the sheet of paper that's just.
40:26 Speaker 03 Bank robbers. What do you want me to do? Sorry. A lot of weapons. Sorry. Venomous snakes.
40:36 Speaker 03 Mob bosses. Spitting tobacco juice on the floor of a saloon and then looking at the bartender like, what are you gonna do about it? It's just, there's an element of badassery that is cool. I don't quite, it doesn't quite hit the good vibes, but I'm also not gonna ignore it.
40:52 Pablo Torre? Right. The sound of a spittoon. That's cool.
40:56 Speaker 03 I've never heard, uh, uh, uh, I've never heard.
40:59 Pablo Torre? I, I mean, I, I.
41:01 Speaker 03 Bing!
41:02 Pablo Torre? Right. I mean, sorry, I didn't mean to imply.
41:05 Speaker 03 It's like a three pointer.
41:06 Pablo Torre? This is in the category of stuff that are, of stuff that is in cartoons that I just assume happens in real life, but I've never actually seen.
41:13 Speaker 03 Yeah. So many people dip and they have those like gross.
41:18 Pablo Torre? Dip is not cool.
41:18 Speaker 03 No, dip is not cool. It's totally what's not cool. I mean, it's kind of cool. Again, I got loose door policy. It's kind of cool. Guy's got a big dip in there.
41:28 Pablo Torre? Turning me into a cool, uh, nationalist, like I'm trying to close these borders.
41:34 Speaker 03 It's cool. I'm just saying spittoons probably could make a comeback. If somebody wants to start a spittoon company, like you're gonna carry around a Gatorade thing or a coffee, a Starbucks cup and spit into it. Look, we've got a beautiful spittoon in the corner there.
41:51 Speaker 03 Old bartenders, all amphibians, everything nocturnal as mentioned. Most people in rocking chairs, rocking chairs themselves, coolers, hammocks, anything that glows in the dark, including things and animals.
42:02 Pablo Torre? Have you seen bioluminescent aquatic life?
42:06 Speaker 03 Swam in it in Puerto Rico.
42:08 Pablo Torre? Same.
42:09 Speaker 03 Crushed it.
42:10 Pablo Torre? I had a friend, David Epstein, actually, friend of the show, fellow correspondent, like yourself, a Pablo Torre finds out. He told me a story. Uh, he was in a, there's a lot of just maritime life stories.
42:22 Speaker 03 It's okay. I think we're learning something.
42:23 Pablo Torre? I, I, I think we're, we're finding out actually, uh, something about what it means.
42:28 Speaker 03 Can I tell you why that is? Most of the earth is water and most of the earth is cool thus, thus far.
42:34 Pablo Torre? A manta ray jumped out of the water, covered in bioluminescent film.
42:40 Speaker 03 Come on, dude.
42:41 Pablo Torre? Flopped on his kayak.
42:45 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's all, yeah, that's awesome. This is going in the dark.
42:50 Pablo Torre? Yes.
42:52 Speaker 03 Beaver dams.
42:54 Speaker 03 Most mammals, a good amount of cash, but not as much as Floyd Mayweather has. Huge waves, wave pools, most water activities. See, now we're back here, okay? I'm almost done.
43:06 Pablo Torre? We've, oh, you're not done.
43:08 Speaker 03 Driving a car through a huge puddle, which might be considered, that's, you can see how my brain works there.
43:12 Pablo Torre? I, I feel like I've seen how your brain works this entire time and it's mostly water.
43:18 Speaker 03 The universe, all the planets, especially Saturn's rings, comets, shooting stars and black holes, also revolving doors.
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46:53 Speaker 03 That concludes the giant list. Now I have a new category.
46:55 Pablo Torre? What's this new category called?
46:59 Speaker 03 What is your most, this might be your most fam, I don't know, this is gonna hurt your feelings? I hope not. What do you think your most famous take is?
47:06 Pablo Torre? Hmm, it's probably, I mean, I probably am attributed. Trust the process?
47:13 Speaker 03 Okay, that, yeah, I think you're right. This is one of your famous takes?
47:19 Pablo Torre? Oh, yeah, yeah. What's?
47:21 Speaker 03 I wrote, wow, what an upset, Pablo's 16 over a 1.
47:25 Pablo Torre? For people who don't know, I would go around the horn every single year, because of course statistically it was overdue. And I would say, this is the year that a 16 seed will finally upset a 1 seed. For two months, we have talking, we've been talking about how this season is going to be the season when a 16 upsets a 1. So on this show, Around the Horn, I am predicting Southern University will upset Gonzaga tomorrow afternoon. I did it for 10 years in a row, and then the one year that it happened, UMBC upsetting Virginia, I picked another team.
47:57 Speaker 03 But you, you should have been able to just pick every 16.
48:01 Pablo Torre? That's what I told Tony Reali.
48:02 Speaker 03 You'd be like, I'm taking a 16 seed over a 1.
48:05 Pablo Torre? I got, I got minus 300 points.
48:06 Speaker 03 I mean, it's.
48:08 Pablo Torre? Uncool.
48:09 Speaker 03 Everything's cool, but I, just for the sake of this podcast experiment, these are some surprising 16s over 1s. I want to get your reaction.
48:19 Pablo Torre? Don't totally understand the dynamic, but I'm. I'm gonna, I'm gonna sit here and quiet.
48:23 Speaker 03 In a shocking upset.
48:27 Speaker 03 Roadies, number 16 seed, upset the band that they work for, the number one seed. Unbelievable. The guy's doing the wiring and the staging, cooler than the band itself.
48:42 Pablo Torre? Roadies have seen some things.
48:43 Speaker 03 They're so cool.
48:44 Pablo Torre? They know some things.
48:45 Speaker 03 Upset the band. Wow. No one could believe it except Pablo.
48:49 Pablo Torre? That, that.
48:50 Speaker 03 He called it.
48:51 Pablo Torre? That's a one shining moment level upset.
48:53 Speaker 03 In another huge upset.
48:57 Speaker 03 Being very good at billiards falls to being pretty good at billiards. I don't even really play. Cooler than being excellent at it.
49:10 Pablo Torre? Okay, so this leads me to a clarification.
49:12 Speaker 03 Go.
49:13 Pablo Torre? Guy who brings his own pool cue, guy who brings his own racket, guy who brings his own thing, unsheathes it and says, guess what I am? An expert.
49:22 Speaker 03 Cool.
49:22 Pablo Torre? Okay.
49:23 Speaker 03 But if you just never play and you're like, wow, you're like surprisingly good, cooler.
49:27 Pablo Torre? Hmm.
49:28 Speaker 03 It's an upset.
49:30 Speaker 03 Another upset. No, it's fun. Shiny things. Upset by old dull stuff.
49:39 Pablo Torre? Oh, game worn. You like game worn more than you like, uh, fresh off the assembly.
49:44 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's like, that's a big in the watch world.
49:46 Pablo Torre? By the way, as AI.
49:47 Speaker 03 Watch world?
49:48 Pablo Torre? Well, I'm not, but I know I can tell.
49:50 Speaker 03 Well, I know, but like, like if you send your watch away, you have to be like, don't polish it.
49:54 Pablo Torre? Oh, this is kind of like the cast iron theory of things where it's like, you don't wanna, I don't, I don't cook or have a cast iron pan, but I'm told that if you were to like, put it in your dishwasher.
50:02 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, don't do that.
50:04 Pablo Torre? You gotta keep the grime.
50:05 Speaker 03 Shiny things taken out there. All right, that's that list. What is this? This is kinda. I wrote, tough call for the bouncer at the cool club. Not a definite no, but also not a definite yes. Did I send you the, the, the gif of Isaiah Thomas from the last answer? He's like, I met the criteria, but I wasn't selected.
50:24 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
50:25 Speaker 03 Zip lines. I, I just, I don't know. Uh, depending on my mood.
50:31 Pablo Torre? Artificial plants.
50:35 Speaker 03 Tough to argue.
50:35 Pablo Torre? It's just, it's objectively, like, you get none of the, it's stolen valor. It's just stolen valor.
50:40 Speaker 03 Artificial plants aren't great.
50:42 Pablo Torre? They don't oxygenate the air, they, uh, pretend like you are taking care of them.
50:47 Speaker 03 It's an inauthenticity that you don't love.
50:49 Pablo Torre? Yes, I don't like, the man-made nature stuff, I just, uh, eh, no, no.
50:55 Speaker 03 Have you seen this meme of Cristiano Ronaldo?
50:58 Pablo Torre? No, I, somehow, despite being very fluent in what I thought were the universe of Ronaldo memes, no.
51:06 Speaker 03 Ronaldo is about to take a penalty kick. I titled this one "Cool as a Renewable Resource", because one of the questions you asked me was, can you, can it be a taught thing?
51:19 Pablo Torre? Yes.
51:20 Speaker 03 Ronaldo might be the second-best soccer player of all time. There's an argument that he's the best soccer player of all time.
51:27 Pablo Torre? Sure. Leo Messi, uh, Maradona.
51:30 Speaker 03 Pele, and I'm a Pele guy.
51:31 Pablo Torre? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:32 Speaker 03 He's in the mix.
51:33 Pablo Torre? They're all, they're all in that club.
51:34 Speaker 03 He's scored over 900 goals. Out of those 900 goals, 170 of them, over 170 have been penalty kicks. He is rich beyond his wildest dreams.
51:46 Pablo Torre? The most followed person on the internet.
51:48 Speaker 03 Also, and arguably gorgeous, okay?
51:53 Speaker 03 So, he's, he hits all those calm, cool, confident, right? He's got all of those. This video of him, before he takes this penalty kick, translated from, it's for, he's playing for Portugal, is talking to himself, he says, "You can cross the barrier, the same as always. For you, it's normal to score." He has to gas himself up before taking this penalty kick.
52:21 Pablo Torre? It is him saying very clearly these words as like a positive affirmation.
52:26 Speaker 03 Yes.
52:28 Pablo Torre? And it's, he's, there's so little irony. He looks legitimately like he needs to make himself less scared.
52:36 Speaker 03 Yes.
52:37 Pablo Torre? So, this is, okay, interesting conflict for the committee to consider. We said confidence was a key leg of the tripod.
52:44 Speaker 03 Yep.
52:45 Pablo Torre? This man, in this moment... Seems like he needs to lather himself up to get to that.
52:51 Speaker 03 My most optimistic takeaway from this assignment was if you can are the second best at something in the world, or let's just say for the best, you've scored 900 goals, you're the face of soccer for your country.
53:08 Speaker 03 And if you have self doubt, then of course it's okay if you're listening to this pod to have a little self doubt. But all you have to do is be like, you know what? I can do this.
53:19 Pablo Torre? You can cross the barrier.
53:21 Speaker 03 You can cross the barrier. I thought that was super interesting.
53:23 Pablo Torre? You can cross the barrier, same as always. For you, it's normal to score.
53:28 Speaker 03 My son played in a little league tournament in Cooperstown, and I had seen this video a long time ago. And, you know, you always got to like yell encouraging to the batters.
53:39 Pablo Torre? Oh, yeah.
53:40 Speaker 03 And we're playing kids from all over the place. Like, there's, there's teams from California who are very good at baseball. So anyways, so my, after I watched this video, I wouldn't be like, come on, you can do it. Oh, straighten out. And then people are trying to give actual tips, straighten out, move your elbow, all this. My, my thing was, my son, I was like, Russell, this is normal for you.
54:03 Speaker 03 That's what I tell him. Like, this is normal for you. You do this. This is normal for you. It's the best thing you can tell someone. It's the best thing you can tell yourself.
54:13 Speaker 03 It's, this is normal for you. You can do this. And if Ronaldo has to do it, it's good for you.
54:30 Speaker 03 Final thoughts. This is kind of, this gets me in trouble on First Things First when I get a statistic that I don't totally understand, but get the gist of. And Nick Wright is like, hold on, what? I'm like, I don't know, dude, but you get the gist of it.
54:42 Pablo Torre? Okay.
54:43 Speaker 03 The biomass of animals, biomass is measured by the amount of carbon an organism contains.
54:49 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
54:50 Speaker 03 Okay, carbon, primary component of all known life on Earth, used in complex biological molecules and compounds. That's not really my thing, per se.
54:58 Pablo Torre? That should be a combine measurement, your biomass.
55:02 Speaker 03 Comparing all biomass of life on Earth, bacteria, lots of it, fungi, tons of it, plants, protists, I don't even know what protists are. Well, most protists are single cells, viruses, archaea, single cell microorganism, animals. And then finally, here's, here's the point of this, okay? Humans make up approximately 0.01% of all biomass on Earth. So when you're accusing me, you're just letting everybody into club cool
55:45 Speaker 03 because I can't have that open door of a policy. Man, everybody can come in and I'm only letting in 0.01% of all biomass on Earth in a few fungi, in a few animals, and no bacteria has made it, and a few plants.
56:02 Pablo Torre? Some protists.
56:03 Speaker 03 The moral of the story is, the world is amazing. You gotta believe in yourself because if Cristiano Ronaldo doesn't believe in himself, has to gas himself up, so can you. And the fact that we're just, so few of us on this earth at this one time, being able to see whales, you are cool, even if you don't think you are.
56:24 Pablo Torre? Part of what I found out today is that I think you did all of this work.
56:28 Speaker 03 Yeah.
56:28 Pablo Torre? Just so you could throw your glasses onto a table.
56:31 Speaker 03 Did I truly do it? Sorry. They're only $80. Put them back. I couldn't get them on, it was more in frustration because I couldn't get them on over there. I'm not used to wearing these things. That's all I got.
56:42 Pablo Torre? Wilds.
56:43 Speaker 03 What else you got, anything else?
56:45 Pablo Torre? Let me see my notes.
56:46 Speaker 03 I got a free cup of coffee out of it.
56:47 Pablo Torre? Let me see my notes. We didn't even get to magicians.
56:50 Speaker 03 I know.
56:51 Pablo Torre? What the?
56:51 Speaker 03 Eh, sorry.
56:52 Pablo Torre? The one thing I had prepped is magician ticks.
56:54 Speaker 03 I had a thing on illusionists, too.
56:56 Pablo Torre? You, you didn't even, they didn't make the list?
56:58 Speaker 03 They are, I skipped over them because I felt like, don't get me started on mimes. I got an issue with mimes.
57:06 Pablo Torre? You can separate. The one group that should not cross that barrier. Mimes.
57:12 Speaker 03 No fan of mimes.
57:14 Pablo Torre? Kevin Wildes, it is an honor and a privilege to be on this committee. And also clearly, much like every other person on this planet, a member of Club Cool.
57:26 Speaker 03 That's right. I don't know if you did any, I'll tell you what was cool. Tricking me into producing your whole podcast. You just sit here and I ramble. Like a day off for you.
57:34 Pablo Torre? Honestly, you gotta go on vacation more.
57:48 Pablo Torre? This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out, a Meadowlark Media production. And I'll talk to you next time.
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Previous The Banned Prince Documentary: Director Ezra Edelman (Finally) Speaks Next Share & DOGE & Tell with Mina Kimes, Dan Le Batard, and Pablo Torre Page updated November 3, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated