A Strong Dose

Conan talks to Ankur from Hyderabad, India about turning marital happiness into an Excel sheet and which song and dance he and Conan would perform together. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Conan O'Brien?

  When it comes to insurance, Farmers doesn't like surprises. That's why there's Farmers coverage on a page. What is it you ask? Did you ask? I don't think you did, but let's pretend you did.

• 0:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, let's go. What is that?

• 0:14Conan O'Brien?

  It's your coverage on a page, pretty straightforward.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:18Conan O'Brien?

  That's good, because sometimes it gets confusing, you know? What am I covered for? What am I not? Here, it's all on a page. Does your insurance do that? Get a quote to get started at Farmers.com. Don't be confused, don't wonder. Farmers makes it pretty clear. Underwritten by Farmers Truck or Fire Insurance Exchanges or Affiliate. Products not available in every state.

• 0:39Conan O'Brien?

  Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids? Or do you shop for Tac?

• 0:43Speaker 01

  My kids.

• 0:44Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Or Okie.

• 0:45Conan O'Brien?

  You gotta get them your stuff.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Or my dog.

• 0:46Conan O'Brien?

  And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that, you smell that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?

• 0:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:56Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. Little early to buy a turkey.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01Conan O'Brien?

  Doesn't matter. Holidays? I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season. Shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.

• 1:33Speaker 01

  Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit TeamCoco.com/callConan. Okay, let's get started.

• 1:43Speaker 02

  Hi, Ankur. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.

• 1:46Speaker 03

  Hello. First of all, Namaste, Sona.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  Namaste.

• 1:49Speaker 03

  As someone who is a speaker of Hindi language, Sona indeed means gold, which is the most precious metal worship like you are in this podcast.

• 2:02Conan O'Brien?

  That's, okay. Yes, yes, Ankur. I'm waiting for you to get to me. That's okay, I'll just wait.

• 2:07Speaker 03

  Namaste, Matt.

• 2:09Speaker 02

  Namaste.

• 2:09Speaker 03

  So, the podcast genius and trash can expert.

• 2:15Conan O'Brien?

  What expert? I didn't hear.

• 2:16Speaker 03

  And Conan.

• 2:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes.

• 2:20Speaker 03

  Hi.

• 2:24Conan O'Brien?

  Love this guy.

• 2:25Speaker 03

  I love him. I have something, I have something to get off my chest if, please, if you allow.

• 2:32Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yes, I mean, Ankur, clearly you have the floor, so take it away.

• 2:37Speaker 03

  Yes. So, see, it was a huge proud moment for all Conan fans when you got, you know, nominated in the Oscars and you won the, you know, Mark Twain Prize, not award, Prize.

• 2:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yep, yep.

• 2:52Speaker 03

  Right? But I was, I really want to know who greenlit the invitation address that you gave in Hindi to Indian people when you were inviting us to watch? Because you butchered every line in that address. Do you remember?

• 3:09Conan O'Brien?

  Do I get any points for trying, for the attempt?

• 3:13Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 3:13Conan O'Brien?

  To reach out to another culture? Why don't we focus on that and not on the, on the fact that I butchered your beautiful language?

• 3:22Speaker 03

  No, because, because I say this because I know you are so careful in pronouncing the correct name and your ad of American Express you did way back was top notch.

• 3:33Conan O'Brien?

  Thank you.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  So I want to know, it's not your fault, but who greenlit it? You need to question them.

• 3:38Conan O'Brien?

  I will, I will find out. I did it. It was Matt Groley. I did it. Matt Groley's in charge of everything that happens or doesn't happen on the Oscars and that was his call and he said, he said, "Sounds perfect to me."

• 3:51Conan O'Brien?

  Ankur, am I saying your name correctly? Ankur?

• 3:53Speaker 03

  Yes, you are.

• 3:54Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. Ankur, you are from, right now you're in Hyderabad, India, is that right? Where is Hyderabad?

• 4:01Speaker 03

  Correct. So it's in the southern part of the country. It's one of the biggest IT hubs of the country after Bangalore.

• 4:09Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 4:10Speaker 03

  So, yeah.

• 4:11Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, and tell me a little bit about yourself. Hyderabad, clearly you seem to be aware of of my work. My oeuvre.

• 4:24Conan O'Brien?

  Tell me about yourself, tell me about yourself and why you've called into the show.

• 4:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, so I would say my name is Ankur. I'm I actually lived in Chandigarh for which is in the northern part of the country for, you know, 28 years of my life. But then I got married and then I moved with my wife to Bangalore.

• 4:43Conan O'Brien?

  Oh.

• 4:44Speaker 03

  And there I started working and now I'm working as the senior solution consultant for a product-based IT company.

• 4:52Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, wow, terrific. And tell me a little bit, congratulations on your on your marriage. How long have you been married for?

• 4:58Speaker 03

  It's almost two and a half years.

• 5:01Conan O'Brien?

  Good for you. I like that. I like young people getting married. I'm I'm.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  Thanks, granddad.

• 5:06Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I'm sorry, but I like it, I tell you, I like it, I do. I I'm happy for you. Tell me a little bit about your marriage. What's your wife's name and how's the marriage going?

• 5:20Speaker 03

  My wife's name is Priya and the marriage is going great. It's the relationship with you that is, you know, a cause of sometimes a bit of a, you know.

• 5:33Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, wait a minute, you're saying that.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  Understanding.

• 5:35Conan O'Brien?

  How am I a cause of friction in your marriage, Ankur?

• 5:41Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, it has come a long way. You have to pay me. I've been a great advocate for you. But at the start, when I used to listen to you with my headphones on and, you know, laughing. So my wife would, you, you know, ask me like, who is this guy? And you're constantly listening to him and it's not good at the start of your marriage, right? So actually, she listened to one of your podcasts as well, right? Not great reviews.

• 6:09Conan O'Brien?

  So, so Encore, let me, let me get to the crux of the matter here, okay?

• 6:14Speaker 02

  Not great review.

• 6:16Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. I have a thick skin. I've been in this business a long time.

• 6:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, you do.

• 6:21Conan O'Brien?

  Encore, to summarize, you are recently married, you're a newlywed, you're a big fan of my podcast. Your wife, Priya, not so much, not a fan. Is that correct?

• 6:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, it started with disdain, and now it's okay, whatever.

• 6:38Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, so, wait a minute.

• 6:39Speaker 03

  Because I love you so much.

• 6:41Conan O'Brien?

  Wait a minute, Encore, we moved from disdain to indifference, and that's improvement. If I can get her to mild contempt, I think we're getting somewhere, don't you?

• 6:54Speaker 02

  It sounds like she views you as a third wheel in the relationship.

• 6:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 6:57Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 6:57Conan O'Brien?

  Does she feel, I think what's hap- I know what's happening here, Priya. I think she feels threatened because you and I have a very close relationship. You're a big fan of my comedy, you're there, you're glued to every word I say, and she feels threatened by this Conan figure. Is that possible?

• 7:15Speaker 03

  No, that's not true. The only reason that you are right now at okay-whatever state is because she loves me. So I love you, so I initially thought, you know, A is equal to B, B is equal to C, so A should be equal to C, but not that case here. So you need to do some work, Conan, as if you have very little fans already.

• 7:34Conan O'Brien?

  I will do what I can, this is now gonna be my mission in life, Encore, to, to improve my comedy or tailor it more towards Priya, so that Priya's happy, okay? Does that make you, does that please you?

• 7:49Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 7:50Conan O'Brien?

  So, would you say that you guys have a, you guys have a good relationship, other than her disdain for this Conan O'Brien fellow that you're constantly listening to? Everything's good?

• 8:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I call her my Liza, you know, so that's what I call her.

• 8:07Conan O'Brien?

  After Liza Minnelli or my Liza?

• 8:10Speaker 03

  No, Liza Powell O'Brien.

• 8:13Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, that's sweet, that's sweet. Well, I very much love my wife. And how is it? Are there similarities between? Because I talk about my wife sometimes. I think we have a very strong marriage. She's beautiful, she's highly intelligent, she's better than me in many ways. Does that, take it easy, Sona, does that? Does that sound familiar to you? Does that resonate with you in your marriage?

• 8:40Speaker 03

  Absolutely. All the checkboxes are ticked, you know, I'm incredibly lucky. Sometimes I feel like, how the hell I, she said yes to me. And I mean, I'm not at your level, but I also, you know, have different voices in my bathroom. I would be singing certain songs, you know, doing some bits to annoy her. And more importantly, you know, I'm very, you know, hyperactive. I'll be very happy or very sad. And she is the anchor. She kind of grounds me. And she's like, okay, you know, behave yourself. So in that ways, I just imagine that relationship of us. And I really admire both of you. I almost saw all the interviews that you both are featured in. So I always tell her,

• 9:22Speaker 03

  you know, that that is the kind of dynamics, because how to explain, why am I so crazy?

• 9:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. So, well, first of all, you sound insane. And I think I'm perfectly normal. So, yes, do I mutter and do voices and bits in the bathroom when I'm all alone? Sure. But what you described actually sounds exactly like what I do. You're, you're an energetic guy. And tell me a little bit about, I'm told you have some kind of weekly practice that you have. Tell me a little bit about that.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  So my wife is not very expressive. So it's like always, I need to kind of figure out where she is. She loves me a lot, but she's a different way to show it. So to do that, I have this weekly heart-to-heart talks. But I say that, you know, whatever is in your heart, you have to let it out. If I have done something that, you know, annoys you or, you know, anything, so you just say it. So we have different categories in life. I feel like happiness is the ultimate goal that all of us are searching. And I feel there are seven or eight factors, if we are, you know, good. Or average, uh, above average in that, we would be happy. So that is how my brain works. So I've compartmentalized into these things. She does not like, she likes organic, you know, talk.

• 10:37Conan O'Brien?

  Wait, wait, let's walk through this. She just wants to have a regular chat. You say you've compartmentalized into these things. You mean you've drawn up a chart?

• 10:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I have an Excel sheet.

• 10:44Conan O'Brien?

  You have an Excel sheet? And what are the categories in your Excel sheet that you talk about every week?

• 10:51Speaker 03

  Uh, first is health. Uh, we talk about our parents, siblings, finances, uh, career, our current job, uh, love, where we talk just with each other, how we are, uh, friends, hobbies. And, uh, yeah, that is pretty much it. Like work, career together. Yeah, these are the categories.

• 11:10Conan O'Brien?

  So you've put all of these onto a Excel spreadsheet? And you walk her through and discuss each category with her once a week?

• 11:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:20Speaker 02

  I, I have to tip my hat to you. You're trying to quantify the unquantifiable and that's admirable and insane and I, I tip my hat. Yeah.

• 11:28Speaker 04

  It's a check-in. It's a weekly check, which is nice. I think I like the idea of it.

• 11:32Conan O'Brien?

  It's nice, but you say that Priya, your wife, is a little unsure of it because she would just rather you maybe take a walk and talk about whatever comes to mind.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, so we have a segment called Walk and Talk that we do on a daily basis.

• 11:48Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, listen, Ankor, I don't mean, I mean really take a walk with her and talk, not, not, not have Walk and Talk on an Excel spreadsheet. That's what I'm saying.

• 11:59Speaker 03

  No, no, no. Walk and Talk is without Excel.

• 12:01Speaker 02

  Oh. That's just PowerPoint?

• 12:04Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 12:06Conan O'Brien?

  That's a pie chart.

• 12:07Speaker 02

  A pie chart, okay.

• 12:09Conan O'Brien?

  Ankor, okay.

• 12:10Speaker 03

  That is just we, we go around the society. Even for Excel, she didn't like this algorithmic and noting it down. So I, what I do is that, you know, we talk normally just to check in. And then, uh, if needed, we refer the Excel sheet. But the point, uh, what Sona mentioned is right. Like, it's like you know, okay, how you have progressed over the period. Like if your health issues are there or if, uh, you know, uh, there is something that, uh, finance-wise you are not. So I think this really helps us to stay on track.

• 12:38Conan O'Brien?

  I, I, listen, if it works for you guys, then fine. I get the sense that maybe you like this method more than your wife does. Is that true?

• 12:46Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  Are you entering into the spreadsheet a, a number, uh, qualifier so that you can look at trends and things like that?

• 12:53Speaker 03

  No, no, not that much.

• 12:54Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I'm sorry. Wait a minute, well, maybe we're hearing more about your spreadsheet now. I just want to know how this works, because, uh, yeah. I, uh, this is, this is, uh, I have to say, Ankur, you, um, you're an intense fellow. You're a strong dose and, and maybe that's why you relate to me, because maybe I'm a strong dose as well.

• 13:14Speaker 04

  Maybe.

• 13:15Conan O'Brien?

  You know? Is that right?

• 13:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:17Conan O'Brien?

  You think, uh...

• 13:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, there are so many other reasons as well, like I have a lot of self doubt. I have a lot of sometimes anxiety. And I know, I mean, behind everything, how hardworking you are and how prepared you are. So I value preparation a lot prior. And then I feel like in the moment, magic happens, but you need to like prepare a lot. Something I've learned from watching you and from you as well.

• 13:49Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 13:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, I love awards.

• 13:52Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen. You know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 14:06Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 14:06Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 14:15Speaker 04

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 14:19Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5 N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 14:39Speaker 04

  Hello.

• 14:39Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 15:13Conan O'Brien?

  Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?

• 15:17Speaker 04

  My kids.

• 15:18Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, you gotta get them your stuff.

• 15:19Speaker 04

  Or Oki, or my dog.

• 15:20Conan O'Brien?

  And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year, you feel that, you smell that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?

• 15:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:30Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. A little early to buy a turkey, doesn't matter. Holidays? I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's very nearby in the cupboard.

• 15:45Conan O'Brien?

  Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season, shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holidays.

• 16:06Conan O'Brien?

  Now, Sona, clearly I'm a very important person to you.

• 16:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:09Conan O'Brien?

  Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.

• 16:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:11Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?

• 16:17Speaker 04

  A vase.

• 16:19Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't want a vase, I want something better.

• 16:21Speaker 04

  A jacket.

• 16:23Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, nice jacket, I love a nice jacket.

• 16:24Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, that jacket, nice jacket.

• 16:25Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so now you have to do it, because you said you would.

• 16:27Speaker 04

  Aw, man, I didn't know you were doing that.

• 16:29Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I know the holidays, I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me.

• 16:41Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 16:41Conan O'Brien?

  Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more, all in one place. You can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at macy's.com/giftguide.

• 17:06Conan O'Brien?

  So, you have to admit, the holidays, it's really about hanging with the people you love.

• 17:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:12Conan O'Brien?

  And getting to be yourself, not going to some stuffy holiday party where you need to conform to what the man wants you to think about the holidays.

• 17:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:22Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's about being yourself. Turn your holiday time into Miller time by enjoying a Miller Lite in a place where you're free to enjoy yourself on a walk with a cousin. With a cousin? Why are they getting all specific about?

• 17:33Speaker 04

  Because it's family.

• 17:34Conan O'Brien?

  But what about a niece or a nephew?

• 17:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:38Conan O'Brien?

  Like a walk with an ex-wife? I don't know. I mean, they're just throwing, that's a weird, they just made a very specific choice.

• 17:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:45Conan O'Brien?

  Now's the time for those unexpected holiday side guests and enjoy a great tasting light beer. 'Tis Miller time, as Dickens wrote. Miller Lite is brewed for taste, the taste you can depend on. The original light beer since 1975 and still iconic more than 50 years later. I like to be with my bros, my chums, my posse, crack open a Miller Lite, take a swig, a sip, look around and see my friends. We've known each other forever and we're just hanging out.

• 18:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, you guys are just doing chest bumps and high-fiving.

• 18:15Conan O'Brien?

  Miller Lite is great taste done right. Go to millerlite.com/conan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. 'Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

• 18:37Conan O'Brien?

  Well, listen, let's say I were to come to Hyderabad and let's say I was to visit you, what do you think we would do? Would you have a spreadsheet for me or what would we, how would you imagine this would play out?

• 18:51Speaker 03

  I mean, so, oh man, so, a lot of things. I think the first thing when I even contacted, tried to contact was that In India, every emotion is attached with song and dance. You know, you name any emotion, we have a song and dance for you. So if you come to India, I really want to perform and it's like a best friend do it. It's the song called Notu Notu and it has won an Oscar uh in twenty twenty three for the best original song. So I want both of us to really tap, learn the steps and do that performance.

• 19:26Conan O'Brien?

  You want us to do the, you want us to do a performance of Notu Notu together. Uh, and what is the song all about? It mean this song is very special to you. Why the song Notu Notu?

• 19:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, so it is a French, it is a song about friendship. And it's a song about being crazy in dance, like just dance. The song just simply simplifies that leave all worries aside, leave all whatever the world, you know, throws at us and just dance like a madman. And you know, and it's, it's such a popular song and yeah, that is how I imagine uh both of us sometimes and it's funny.

• 20:04Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, well, listen, that's very sweet, uncle.

• 20:06Speaker 03

  He imagines it, he daydreams about it.

• 20:08Conan O'Brien?

  You know what? So uh when you're sitting at work, sometimes you just daydream about you and I doing the Notu Notu dance together, um about friendship.

• 20:17Speaker 03

  And I had an actual dream also, which I told my wife, you know. So I had an actual dream. So in that dream, what happens, can I share?

• 20:25Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, of course.

• 20:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, so in that dream, what happens is Conan says that, you know, I really respect you as a fan. I didn't know you, so I want you to come to United States, right? And I, I, I go there and then just as I land, I am caught by the police and I'm thrown in, you know, in the, in the jail. And I'm like, no, no, I have, I have, Conan has called for me, you know, he is waiting for me. Please take me.

• 20:49Conan O'Brien?

  That would not help you.

• 20:52Conan O'Brien?

  Do not invoke my name if the authorities grab you here.

• 20:55Speaker 04

  Harsher punishment.

• 20:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. You'll probably get the electric chair. So go ahead, go ahead.

• 21:00Speaker 03

  And in the J L I C, um, in the J L I C, Mad and Sona, you know, on the other side.

• 21:05Conan O'Brien?

  This is making sense.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  This is too real.

• 21:07Conan O'Brien?

  Are they incarcerated?

• 21:08Speaker 03

  They are telling me like, no, you shouldn't have come.

• 21:10Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, wait, are they incarcerated in the jail? In your dream?

• 21:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are on the other side.

• 21:15Conan O'Brien?

  This is, this is starting to sound real to me.

• 21:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:18Speaker 02

  I think you put us in jail.

• 21:20Conan O'Brien?

  No, I think you probably, your own crimes put you there.

• 21:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's true.

• 21:24Conan O'Brien?

  Um, Encore, uh, I love that you're, I, I really like that you're such a big fan. Obviously that's very flattering and, um, I'm excited for you. It sounds like you have a very good marriage, uh, with Priya and that there are similarities with my marriage to Liza. So I'm, I'm excited. I'm excited for you and I would very happily do the not to, not to dance with you because I feel we are friends and I feel that, uh, I know how to dance like a madman. I can't dance well, but I can dance like a madman. So, um, there are many things here that recommend you.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  Encore, I wonder if you could help us with something. I'm taking a lead from him. What if we were to have a relationship spreadsheet between the three of us for this podcast? What would the categories be? I mean, I initially just put down comedy, guests, chemistry between the three of us and downloads, but you're the expert, Encore. Is there something else that you think should go in there? Are you guys?

• 22:18Speaker 04

  Huh.

• 22:19Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, complaints?

• 22:20Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, that, how could I have missed that?

• 22:23Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Um, and then ways which, in which maybe, uh, a section where you guys apologize to me.

• 22:29Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 22:30Speaker 02

  Uh, that doesn't seem at all necessary.

• 22:31Speaker 04

  You should apologize. I think that's the thing.

• 22:34Conan O'Brien?

  No, it's not, there's not room for it on the spreadsheet.

• 22:35Speaker 04

  How about an apology section where we all just apologize to each other?

• 22:39Conan O'Brien?

  Hmm, I don't know.

• 22:42Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 22:43Conan O'Brien?

  You guys apologize.

• 22:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, write that down, apologies.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  What, Encore, what?

• 22:47Speaker 03

  No, I was thinking like the gifts that Conan should be giving to Sona and like just like the jacket.

• 22:52Speaker 04

  Gifts, gifts, gifts, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:55Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, and would I get a gift?

• 22:57Speaker 04

  No, you don't get a gift. No, there are no gifts.

• 22:59Speaker 02

  I'm not getting a gift either here, Encore.

• 23:01Speaker 04

  No, you're not getting a gift either. It's just me.

• 23:03Speaker 03

  You're also getting a gift.

• 23:04Speaker 02

  I am, okay, alright.

• 23:06Conan O'Brien?

  I'm gonna get you Sean Connery's last toupee.

• 23:09Speaker 02

  I'd take it.

• 23:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 23:10Speaker 04

  Gifts for Sona, you should just specify.

• 23:12Speaker 02

  Gifts for Sona and Matt.

• 23:13Conan O'Brien?

  Um, Encore, uh, you seem, you seem like a good fellow, you really do. And I want to ask you quickly about your shirt. What does your shirt signify?

• 23:21Speaker 02

  It's Avengers.

• 23:22Conan O'Brien?

  Is that Avengers?

• 23:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a Avengers t-shirt.

• 23:26Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, it's an Avengers t-shirt.

• 23:27Speaker 02

  You know how Conan feels about portals, right? That's, that's kind of a triggering thing for you to wear.

• 23:31Conan O'Brien?

  Are you with me on the portals thing? Portals are bad for, uh, screenwriting, I think. Portal, when a portal opens, screenwriters are killed.

• 23:39Speaker 02

  I'm gonna put a portals category in this spreadsheet here.

• 23:41Conan O'Brien?

  Have you heard me talk about portals? I actually think that when a portal opens up and it ruptures the space-time continuum, it's a terrible flaw because the writers then can make a fri- a giant fried bucket of fried chicken come out of the sky. They can make, they can make anything happen without any kind of discipline, without following any kind of, uh, intellectual rigor, and I have a problem with it.

• 24:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I agree.

• 24:04Conan O'Brien?

  Do you agree with me?

• 24:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I, I do agree on that. Sometimes, you know, it just comes up for no rhyme or reason and just to push the narrative, right?

• 24:11Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 24:12Speaker 03

  But then, uh, it's good for kids, yeah. Like, let's not, uh, take away the joy.

• 24:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:17Conan O'Brien?

  I'd like to, no, I'd like to take the joy away from children everywhere. Children have too much joy. They need to have less joy. That's actually a position that I'm, uh, fairly strong on. My father grew up in the depression and boy did that help him.

• 24:29Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 24:29Conan O'Brien?

  Um, and then that helped me.

• 24:31Speaker 04

  Do you agree with me? The way you said that too is so aggressive.

• 24:34Conan O'Brien?

  Quiet. I mean, I respect your opinions.

• 24:37Speaker 04

  Do you agree with me?

• 24:38Conan O'Brien?

  I said quiet. I said quiet. Sonu, do you agree with me that you should be quiet? Sonu, don't you agree with me that you should be quiet?

• 24:44Speaker 04

  No, I don't agree with you.

• 24:45Conan O'Brien?

  There's no time. There's no time. We're out of time. Ankor, um, all right, uh, there's a lot here for me to digest. You have made an Excel spreadsheet for your wife. Uh, you claim to be just like me and that your marriage is very similar to mine, although I don't have a spreadsheet for my wife. She wouldn't tolerate that for a second. You also wouldn't know how to do a spreadsheet.

• 25:05Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 25:06Conan O'Brien?

  That comes, that's the second reason why this wouldn't happen, but not the first. Um, but, uh, I like you. You're a man that bibles, babbles. You have a lot of insane energy. Uh, you're a lost, uh, you're a lost relative of mine and you live in India. And this makes all the sense in the world. I think in many ways we're brothers. Don't you think so?

• 25:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I would say a father figure, but okay, brother.

• 25:39Speaker 04

  He's right. He's so much younger than you are.

• 25:42Conan O'Brien?

  Well, our, uh, single's breaking up. I'd even be a grandpa.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, grandpa.

• 25:47Conan O'Brien?

  I have to go. I'm having, uh, both hips replaced right now. It's my seventh time this week.

• 25:52Speaker 04

  I love Ankor.

• 25:54Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, Ankor, you're very funny and it's really nice talking to you and I like you.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  Oh, no. Is it ending?

• 26:00Conan O'Brien?

  No, yes, we're gonna have to end this because, uh, your wife may escape.

• 26:04Speaker 03

  I have, I have a question, though.

• 26:06Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 26:08Speaker 03

  Can I ask?

• 26:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes, that was me saying yes.

• 26:10Speaker 03

  Okay. Okay. So, uh, Korn, like, uh, right now, as we are in our third year of marriage, we are pretty much on the fence of, you know, having kids. Um, because our lifestyles are, you know, very, very busy, right? And, uh, we feel like whether, so my dad was a government, uh, worked in a government, uh, employed in government sector. So he had a lot of time with me. He spent, attended every parent-teacher meeting, you know, did everything. And I feel I, as a father, in that sense, would not be able to give that much time because I work in a private tech sector. It's very busy. You know, but then I heard on one of your shows, and I'm sure you are twenty- Times busy, especially in those years. And one of your guests, I don't remember the name.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  They mentioned how when they were dropping their kids to school, they saw you and you know, your children hugged you. I actually assumed that your kids would not be very close to you because you didn't get that much time to spend with them, right? Because you were so busy. But and Liza would be the person. But now in this case, you know, like it it felt like you have a great bond. You talk about going to music festivals. You go talk about watching binge watching TV series, right? So as a father, like, uh, was that a guilt like before having that kid like I'll not be able to be there? Well, I and also support your wife.

• 27:28Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I'm I'm gonna be um, I'll be very honest with you because I see many joke opportunities here. But I'm gonna pass all of those by because this is something I'm very passionate about. And I think I speak for everybody in this room. That having children is just one of the greatest joys you can have on this earth. It's amazing. And you can always come up with reasons why it might not be efficient. It might be a hassle. There are many different reasons that you can come up with. But um, you know, I was very fortunate that my wife, Liza, took uh, she's an incredible mother. And she devoted a whole chunk of her life to making sure that my kids had all the love and attention and everything they needed and she was on it.

• 28:14Conan O'Brien?

  Um, yeah, I was very busy, but I loved playing with my kids so much. And they were such a big part of my life that I am very close with them, I like to think. And um, I think what happens is you have the kids and then you make your life fit to the children, you know? And and you will, you will. And I think you and Priya will figure it out. But I I have a hard time telling anybody, yeah, skip the kid thing. It's it's overrated because that's not been my experience at all. As I've been very fortunate with my life and my career. Everything that I've achieved professionally is meaningless compared to uh, you know, having kids.

• 28:53Conan O'Brien?

  It's just really is. So I I encourage you to really think about that carefully before you, you know, say, oh, that doesn't work because of my tech sector job. I mean, you and you guys should speak up because I've seen you both go through this and I don't think you.

• 29:09Speaker 04

  Well, I was working for, I was an assistant to a man for a long time who was very demanding. And when I had my kids, I couldn't assist him day to day anymore. Cause he was like a third kid for me.

• 29:18Conan O'Brien?

  But did he take it well, this guy?

• 29:20Speaker 04

  You know, he took it okay, I guess. No, but I think, to Conan's credit, cause you're right. He's a very busy person, but as somebody who was his assistant for a really long time, Conan never missed any of his kids' performances. No, he didn't miss any parent teacher meetings. You went to, you were very present. Like, you shouldn't, like, you know, you shouldn't, yeah. Like, he is a busy person, but his kids were the priority. And, you know, it was a lot of talking with Liza, making sure that the kid's schedule was the priority. And so that's how it works. And for us, I mean, yeah, this is, it's nice to have enough time for your kids, but it's also nice to work too. So it's not like you have to compromise one to make the other one work.

• 30:01Conan O'Brien?

  Matt, way in here. You've seemed very quiet, as if you loathe your child.

• 30:06Speaker 02

  No, I was incredibly busy when my daughter was born. And I wanted to be involved, not just out of duty and responsibility for helping my wife, but it soon became the story that I was just saying no to a lot of things. Not out of obligation, but because I just simply did not want to be away from my daughter.

• 30:23Conan O'Brien?

  Kids are fun.

• 30:24Speaker 02

  They are. They're a challenge. But anytime I'm given the opportunity between work and Glenn and I, and I have the choice, it's not something I, it's something I can control, I always choose Glenn. And it's just because I feel like I'm missing out. And I'm not a FOMO person, but I feel like I'm missing out if I'm not with her. And it's, it's something I would never regret. And she's a spitfire and she gives us hell. And there's not a second of it I would trade or change.

• 30:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, my, my, my, my little gentlemen are my bros.

• 30:51Conan O'Brien?

  Well, they're also, they're monsters.

• 30:52Speaker 04

  They're monsters.

• 30:54Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 30:54Speaker 04

  But they're also my bros.

• 30:55Conan O'Brien?

  They've done serious time and they're four years old.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  They have.

• 30:59Speaker 04

  Like, I used to hit the clubs. Now I'm like down to hit like a trampoline park.

• 31:03Conan O'Brien?

  With my bros. You were up for that too before. Yeah. Just as long as there was alcohol. Yes. Well, Ankor. Fun. We'd have to wrap it up, but I have to say, you, I, that is our sincere advice is that you don't let career and things like that get in the way. Yes, you want to be responsible. You want to really think it through, but you know. Sounds like you need to make a spreadsheet about this. Yeah. Yes. Make a spreadsheet, talk it over. Pros and cons. Make another category in the spreadsheet with, with Priya and give her all my love and tell her I can't wait. I'm hoping I have a chance to meet her someday and I'll do all my bits for her in person. Oh, no. And she's gonna love it. You're threatening her. Actually. It's a threat.

• 31:48Conan O'Brien?

  Illegal, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  This was such, so much fun. Thank you so much. Conan, I mean, whatever initial part, but I love you so much, so much. Happy as all the team members you have in. I don't think, sometimes I feel I don't pay you anything. Like I just dream. I'm not paying anything. So I feel.

• 32:06Conan O'Brien?

  That's all I need. The dreams are, the dreams are good enough. The dreams are good enough. That's what this is all about.

• 32:11Speaker 03

  Thank you so much.

• 32:12Conan O'Brien?

  So, thank you so much. And I hope we cross paths soon, Ankor. That would be a lot of fun.

• 32:17Speaker 03

  Please.

• 32:17Conan O'Brien?

  All right.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  Please, please come to India. Even if you don't meet me, please come to India. That episode will be off the charts.

• 32:24Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  And Matt and Sona should be there. Matt and Sona also should be there.

• 32:28Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, I'll fly them in. Hey, last time I went to India was with Sona. I was there. There you go.

• 32:33Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 32:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 32:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's never gonna happen.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  Fantastic ad. That was a fantastic ad as well.

• 32:38Conan O'Brien?

  Take care, Ankor, and I hope to see you soon. Bye bye. Bye.

• 32:42Speaker 03

  Okay, bye.

• 32:44Speaker 02

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Obsidian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 33:01Speaker 02

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• 33:30Speaker 05

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• 34:14Speaker 05

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• 34:29Speaker 06

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