Netflix Bedtime

What ever happened to predictability? Well, we're throwing it out the window today, as special guests Liz Lopatto and Kwame Opam join Nilay and Sam, with a very special crossover cameo at the top of the show. It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper page, so it's a mixed bag of topics this week. We've got Furious 7, Microsoft's newest Surface, the ongoing Californian drought, Amazon Dash and Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. Only time will tell if all these dreams fit under one umbrella, but we hope you enjoy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Nilay Patel?

  Hello and welcome to The Vergecast.

• 0:09Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 0:09Nilay Patel?

  A show about The Verge and podcasting.

• 0:13Speaker 01

  I really thought you were gonna say a show about nothing and I was about to like.

• 0:16Nilay Patel?

  No.

• 0:17Speaker 02

  No.

• 0:18Nilay Patel?

  We, we, look, we wait till the tired jokes get so tired and then we bring them back. We don't just let them be tired. But hello, welcome to The Vergecast. It is today, April 2nd, which is my mother's birthday.

• 0:29Speaker 02

  Happy birthday.

• 0:30Nilay Patel?

  Um, so she doesn't listen to the show, but I want her to know that, um, she's cool.

• 0:35Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:36Nilay Patel?

  Um, I will call her eventually, presumably after the show's taping. But this is the week of March 30th, so it's very confusing. April 2nd today, but March 30th. People want the date, I don't want the date. But this is The Vergecast, the show where we talk about The Verge. Today is a very special and strange episode. I'm very excited about what's happening in this episode. I would, I would go so far as to say, there's a revolution in the air.

• 1:00Nilay Patel?

  So I am Neelai Patel. I am joined by.

• 1:03Speaker 02

  I'm Liz Lopatto. I am the science editor.

• 1:06Nilay Patel?

  Yes.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  And I'm in town from San Francisco.

• 1:08Nilay Patel?

  Liz is visiting us, so I, I don't know, I blew up everything. And then to my left.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  I am Kwame Opam. I'm a news editor at The Verge.

• 1:16Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 1:17Speaker 01

  And I'm based in New York.

• 1:18Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, we're gonna have Kwame on the show more often, I think.

• 1:20Speaker 01

  I hope so.

• 1:21Nilay Patel?

  That's a feeling I have, but the revolution, there's a revolution. Sam Sheffer is in the studio right now, but he's just Snapchatting with his selfie stick.

• 1:30Speaker 01

  The revolution selfie Snapchat.

• 1:31Nilay Patel?

  Selfie stick. He's not in the hype desk, in the hype desk.

• 1:37Speaker 03

  Hi, I'm Becky.

• 1:40Speaker 01

  Hey, Becky.

• 1:42Nilay Patel?

  Becky Roosevelt is our office manager, who was just sitting in that chair before we started filming. And I insisted that she hype check our topics in, on The Vergecast.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  She's super hyped, guys. It's intense.

• 1:52Speaker 03

  I'm only here for the signage.

• 1:54Nilay Patel?

  You're only, she's only here for the her swag, is she signed? So Becky, how's it going?

• 1:58Speaker 03

  It's going great.

• 1:58Nilay Patel?

  Yeah? What do you, I mean, you observe The Verge at a distance most days.

• 2:03Speaker 03

  I try and stay as far distant as I can.

• 2:05Nilay Patel?

  Thanks.

• 2:05Speaker 03

  You're welcome.

• 2:06Nilay Patel?

  You're really great.

• 2:07Speaker 03

  You're welcome.

• 2:08Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. Thank you.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  I assume it's coming.

• 2:15Nilay Patel?

  So tell me, what's going on with you today? You were saying you're trying to get people's attention over email. I'm just, we have this whole list here. We gotta do the Surface 3. We gotta talk about Fast and Furious. I'm sure Liz is gonna educate us about the California situation with the water restriction. It just says Ryan Reynolds here. There's like, actually not. It doesn't say anything else. So I'm assuming-

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Deadpool, Neil I.

• 2:33Nilay Patel?

  Oh, I get it. Okay. Sam, you know, Sam's doing his thing. There's all kinds of stuff to talk about. But Becky, I wanna know what's going on with you.

• 2:40Speaker 03

  I mean, we're having a similar drought in the office, just like California.

• 2:46Nilay Patel?

  A drought of what?

• 2:46Speaker 02

  Would you say you're thirsty?

• 2:47Speaker 03

  Extremely thirsty. We are missing cups to hold water and people are just like, sticking their head under the sink to-

• 2:55Nilay Patel?

  What?

• 2:55Speaker 03

  -get every last- No, that's not really true.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  But it's a nice visual, right?

• 3:00Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. Yeah. No, thirsty people in the office.

• 3:02Speaker 03

  Thirsty people in the office and, you know, they only have beer to drink and they complain about that.

• 3:06Nilay Patel?

  Would you describe any of them as randos?

• 3:09Speaker 03

  Some of them, for sure. Some of them just walk in and I don't know who they are and it turned out they're like, you know, visiting editors from like, San Francisco.

• 3:16Nilay Patel?

  Really?

• 3:16Speaker 03

  And like, I just never know.

• 3:18Nilay Patel?

  I will say Liz is just like, she's appeared as a force in the office and everyone's like, "That's Liz." "Don't write anything about cell phones and cancer. She'll kill you."

• 3:30Nilay Patel?

  It's been great. No, so we have this list. So it appears, from what I'm told, Liz, you've never seen a Fast and Furious movie.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  I have never seen one.

• 3:39Nilay Patel?

  Have you ever seen a Fast and Furious movie?

• 3:40Speaker 03

  I've seen plenty of advertisements for them.

• 3:43Nilay Patel?

  Oh, my God. So-

• 3:44Speaker 01

  How could you not?

• 3:45Nilay Patel?

  This is, here it is. So the hype desk, here's what you do in the hype desk.

• 3:48Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 3:49Nilay Patel?

  I say to you, this is the first time I've ever been able to like, truly control the situation. I'm so excited about it. I say, "Hype check blank." And then you, hopefully, provide a hype number and then explain the hype number.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 4:03Nilay Patel?

  No one has ever actually done that, but that is my dream.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  Okay, I'm gonna do it like, at least once for you.

• 4:09Nilay Patel?

  Okay, so hype check, Fast and Furious.

• 4:11Speaker 03

  Okay, I'm gonna give it like, a 6 out of 10 because they keep the same font that looks like it's from the 90s on all the covers.

• 4:17Nilay Patel?

  Oh, wow.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  Accurate, but-

• 4:19Nilay Patel?

  That's it?

• 4:20Speaker 01

  Harsh.

• 4:20Nilay Patel?

  Is that totally true?

• 4:21Speaker 03

  That's all that comes to mind when I think of Fast and Furious.

• 4:23Nilay Patel?

  It does have that like, silver gradient going on.

• 4:25Speaker 03

  It's like, that, it looks like it came from like, Microsoft Word. You know, those things to jazz up letters. It's really awful, but it was like, slanted at like-

• 4:33Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  -a 30-degree angle and super edgy. It has a drop shadow that is pre-Photoshop drop shadows.

• 4:39Nilay Patel?

  And it does have that silver gradient.

• 4:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, it's pretty.

• 4:42Nilay Patel?

  But you have, other than that, no?

• 4:44Speaker 03

  I don't really, it's about cars and about going fast and, you know, that's, that's fine.

• 4:48Nilay Patel?

  Do you, would you say that you live your life one quarter mile at a time?

• 4:53Speaker 03

  I would say it's probably more like a third of a mile.

• 4:58Speaker 03

  I'm into odd numbers, so.

• 4:59Nilay Patel?

  Okay, well, if you could hype check one thing today, here on the show, before, because we, you know, I do need to get Sam's thoughts on Fast and Furious, because I know he's got, he's got a lot to say. If you, if you could hype check one thing on the show right now, what would you hype check?

• 5:13Speaker 03

  About the things listed?

• 5:14Nilay Patel?

  No, just whatever, just in life.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  In life?

• 5:17Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  Let's talk about keyboards. Can we talk about Apple keyboard versus PC keyboard?

• 5:24Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, do it.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  Oh, PC keyboards all the way.

• 5:27Nilay Patel?

  Whoa, whoa.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  I know, I know, because you get a lot more satisfaction from clicking down a little bit further on each of those buttons.

• 5:33Nilay Patel?

  Oh, you mean like old, like mechanical PC keyboards?

• 5:36Speaker 03

  No, no, no, like on the laptop.

• 5:38Nilay Patel?

  What laptop do you have?

• 5:39Speaker 03

  Oh, it's, it's old.

• 5:40Nilay Patel?

  I should have asked you this question from the start. What laptop do you have? Are you kidding? For this show?

• 5:43Speaker 03

  It's an old.

• 5:44Nilay Patel?

  That's what we should do with randos in the hype. I just ask them what they have.

• 5:47Speaker 03

  It's an HP from like late 2011.

• 5:50Nilay Patel?

  And you're saying the keyboard is more satisfying?

• 5:52Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:52Nilay Patel?

  What kind of phone do you have?

• 5:53Speaker 03

  I have an HTC One Mini.

• 5:57Nilay Patel?

  Whoa, whoa. I like how Sam is so loud, we can hear him anyway. Sam doesn't need a microphone at all. He just hype checked the hype desk. Today, I was, I was, I was using Siri from across the office, and it just picked you up. It could, it was just, you were just talking about Snapchat or whatever the hell you talk about.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  Also.

• 6:16Nilay Patel?

  Siri's like, ah, super confused.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  Can we talk about how mailboxes work? Because apparently.

• 6:22Nilay Patel?

  Wait, we can, but just do it with me in this format.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  You got it.

• 6:27Nilay Patel?

  Hype check mailboxes.

• 6:28Speaker 03

  Mailboxes, nine.

• 6:32Nilay Patel?

  Wait, do you mean mailbox is the app or email boxes?

• 6:35Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 6:36Nilay Patel?

  Physical mailbox?

• 6:37Speaker 03

  USPS, corner of the block.

• 6:40Nilay Patel?

  Wow.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  Mailbox, blue mailboxes.

• 6:43Nilay Patel?

  Okay.

• 6:43Speaker 03

  Do you know how they work?

• 6:44Nilay Patel?

  No.

• 6:45Speaker 03

  Can you explain to me what you would do with a mailbox?

• 6:48Nilay Patel?

  I feel like you're really turning this on me in a really aggressive way right now.

• 6:51Speaker 03

  I'm sorry.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  Well, she did exactly what you wanted.

• 6:54Nilay Patel?

  I would care for it.

• 6:56Speaker 03

  You would care for it?

• 6:57Nilay Patel?

  I would.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  How would you interact with it on a casual basis?

• 7:00Nilay Patel?

  What do you mean?

• 7:01Speaker 03

  You know, if you were like, oh, you know what? I kind of like dropped my rent off. What would you do?

• 7:06Nilay Patel?

  I would walk up to the mailbox, open it, insert an envelope, say, "Thank you."

• 7:12Speaker 03

  10.

• 7:12Nilay Patel?

  Infrastructure.

• 7:13Speaker 03

  10.

• 7:14Nilay Patel?

  Hype 10?

• 7:14Speaker 03

  Hype 10.

• 7:15Nilay Patel?

  What's the story here? Sam doesn't know how to use a mailbox. That's a story, isn't it?

• 7:19Speaker 03

  That's a story.

• 7:19Nilay Patel?

  That's the whole story.

• 7:20Speaker 04

  I don't think I've ever dropped.

• 7:22Nilay Patel?

  Okay, okay, here, we're gonna... Can you say the one thing that you need to say to make fun of Sam? And then I want Sam to tell me the story.

• 7:28Speaker 03

  Oh, just Sam doesn't know how to use a mailbox? That's all I really wanted to get out of there.

• 7:34Nilay Patel?

  Okay, can we swap?

• 7:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 7:37Nilay Patel?

  Can we swap Sam back in?

• 7:37Speaker 03

  This is a pleasure to be here.

• 7:39Nilay Patel?

  Becky, thank you so much. Hype check, one more thing before you go.

• 7:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:41Nilay Patel?

  Whatever you want. Open hype.

• 7:43Speaker 03

  Hype check, Sam's selfie stick.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  I give it a 2?

• 7:47Speaker 03

  I was gonna give it like a 4, just because...

• 7:50Speaker 02

  That's really generous.

• 7:52Nilay Patel?

  The Verge...

• 7:53Speaker 03

  Just because he's not using it for selfieing.

• 7:55Nilay Patel?

  The Vergecast audience is gonna love the fact that you remain most rigorously devoted to the 10-point rating scale. Because you don't even know how contentious those 10 points are. And actually, I will continue talking about this as you guys make this move. The Verge rating scale is not 10 points. It is 100 points.

• 8:12Speaker 03

  Oh, I've been giving everything really low scores. Okay.

• 8:14Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 8:14Speaker 03

  Cool.

• 8:15Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. No, but no, it's because it's 0.0 to 100.0, which means it's effectively 100 points.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  Right.

• 8:20Nilay Patel?

  Which I think is insane, but also wonderful.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  Makes the review process really powerful.

• 8:26Nilay Patel?

  What is the difference between a 7.7 and a 7.8?

• 8:29Speaker 01

  I could not tell you.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  A 10th of a point?

• 8:32Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. Okay, thanks.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  But in practice, like, what does that mean? I don't know.

• 8:35Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, who knows? Who knows what that means? Okay, thank you, Becky.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  Bye.

• 8:39Nilay Patel?

  Delightful to have you here. We're gonna do, we're gonna get into some real talk now, Sam. Sam, are you still periscoping?

• 8:45Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:46Nilay Patel?

  Do you understand that you are now competing with our own livestream?

• 8:48Speaker 01

  You're diluting the stream right now.

• 8:51Nilay Patel?

  You're diluting the stream.

• 8:53Nilay Patel?

  Okay, Sammy, bye.

• 8:55Speaker 04

  Hey buddy.

• 8:56Nilay Patel?

  Hey, I missed you.

• 8:57Speaker 04

  Welcome aboard.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  Hey.

• 8:58Nilay Patel?

  I gotta say you bring a palpably different energy to the show.

• 9:01Speaker 04

  Oh, thank you.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 9:02Nilay Patel?

  Mostly in the sense that you want to be here and have not been forced to participate. So, you know, I do what I can.

• 9:10Speaker 04

  Oh, there we go. I'm like in and out with.

• 9:12Nilay Patel?

  All right, we gotta get in, we gotta get into some news.

• 9:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:14Nilay Patel?

  Enough, enough of this. I've checked mailbox. Can you tell me the mailbox story?

• 9:18Speaker 04

  I just, I wasn't really, hold on, let me just fix my periscope.

• 9:20Nilay Patel?

  Oh, my God.

• 9:21Speaker 04

  I wasn't, I wasn't really 100% certain on how mailboxes like work. Cause you see mailboxes a lot and I, I feel like a lot of them don't open.

• 9:29Nilay Patel?

  The green ones don't open.

• 9:31Speaker 04

  The green ones don't open.

• 9:32Nilay Patel?

  The green ones, the green ones are like where, yes, I, I understand your confusion. So the blue ones you open, you put stuff in.

• 9:38Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 9:38Nilay Patel?

  The green ones are like for a mysterious network of like mail carriers who've been operating since.

• 9:44Speaker 04

  I grew up in like, I grew up in suburb, New Jersey. And like there were no, none of those blue mailboxes in like the towns and developments that I've lived in.

• 9:54Speaker 02

  That sounds like a really sad place. I mean, I grew up in Iowa and we definitely had mailboxes.

• 9:59Speaker 01

  I mean, if you think about it though, like if you've seen The Sopranos, like they never depended on mailboxes. And they lived in mansions, so.

• 10:05Speaker 02

  Well, I'm sure they had their own private network of carriers.

• 10:08Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  You know, like you do.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. The mafia has that sort of thing. Oh, mafia does not exist.

• 10:13Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  You don't talk about mafia.

• 10:16Nilay Patel?

  If actually, if anybody could tell me what the green boxes are for.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  I can do this, actually.

• 10:20Nilay Patel?

  Hey. This show is just.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  We are not talking about news at all.

• 10:23Nilay Patel?

  There we are.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  So my understanding is that like for, for mail carriers, they, um, they have the boxes to pick up mail after they've delivered some mail. So that you don't have to carry everything around with you on your entire route because that would be very heavy.

• 10:37Nilay Patel?

  Sure. Okay. Fine.

• 10:39Speaker 04

  Are you just casually eating Hershey kisses?

• 10:41Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. I haven't eaten off that. This is my little snack.

• 10:46Speaker 02

  It's making for really great audio, I'm sure.

• 10:48Nilay Patel?

  I'm doing it on purpose. Right now, John is crying.

• 10:52Speaker 01

  So are we.

• 10:55Nilay Patel?

  All right, so we gotta start with the news.

• 10:58Speaker 01

  News.

• 10:59Nilay Patel?

  The real John, we need like the show is really starting sound. Think about it. Like a local news like.

• 11:06Nilay Patel?

  Like it just clap. Look for the waveform on your local podcast player of me clapping. That's when the news begins. About what I'm gonna do. Okay, 499, Surface 3.

• 11:18Speaker 01

  The Surface, man, the Surface is, the Surface is one of those products where I'm always pleased that it exists. But I would probably never buy one, especially with the Surface 3 Pro.

• 11:30Nilay Patel?

  So I have a Surface 3 Pro.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  Right.

• 11:33Nilay Patel?

  It's fine.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 11:35Nilay Patel?

  Is everything about it seems too small for what I want it to be.

• 11:39Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 11:40Nilay Patel?

  I want, really, I'm just casually eating her she kisses. Casually. Just like I'm doing.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  It's a thing, but like it's one of those things where it's like it's reasonably priced. I do happen to like Windows 8.1. Not as much as anything I would actually use on a regular basis, but like I dual boot it on my MacBook, whatever. And.

• 11:58Nilay Patel?

  The MacBook whatever.

• 12:00Speaker 01

  It's MacBook Pro.

• 12:01Nilay Patel?

  Now, here's what I know.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:02Nilay Patel?

  From now on, if you dual boot a MacBook into Windows, it is known as MacBook whatever. Okay, so you do, you, you run 8.1 right now.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I like it. I, I use a great, it's great for just running games and just having around. But as far as having a Surface, it's always something I will talk to my old roommate about it because he's a hyper Microsoft Windows fanboy and be like, yeah, I'm gonna buy the Surface. He never did, he never will. And it's like, there's no reason to right now.

• 12:29Nilay Patel?

  So here's this thing, so the, let's do some history.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 12:33Nilay Patel?

  So there was the original Surface, which was a disaster.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  Surface RT, right?

• 12:39Nilay Patel?

  There was, there was a Surface Pro and the Surface RT.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:42Nilay Patel?

  Those products were disasters.

• 12:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:44Nilay Patel?

  There was the Surface 2.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 12:46Nilay Patel?

  Um, which was basically an RT thing. Then there, then all of that like stopped.

• 12:52Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 12:52Nilay Patel?

  And there was a Surface Pro 3.

• 12:54Speaker 01

  Right.

• 12:54Nilay Patel?

  Uh, the Surface Pro 3 is basically a laptop without a hinge, right? Like it has a powerful laptop processor, has a core processor. It has a big, you know, like a bigger screen that has high resolution. I mean, it's a laptop. And then there's this thing, which is runs an Atom processor.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  Right.

• 13:10Nilay Patel?

  It's still running full Windows.

• 13:14Nilay Patel?

  When we saw it. They demoed apps to us, including iTunes and Chrome, not Windows and Windows applications.

• 13:22Speaker 01

  Of course not.

• 13:22Nilay Patel?

  Because they were eager to be like, you can run whatever you want. And I was like, but who wants to run iTunes? And they just, there was sadness in their eyes.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  Just like.

• 13:32Nilay Patel?

  Yes, the people who buy a $500 laptop.

• 13:34Speaker 01

  Right.

• 13:35Nilay Patel?

  iTunes people, I call them.

• 13:37Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 13:38Nilay Patel?

  Although I will say this, what do you use for music?

• 13:40Speaker 02

  Uh, Spotify mostly.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  Spotify.

• 13:42Speaker 04

  Spotify.

• 13:43Nilay Patel?

  Spotify. Spotify is a garbage.

• 13:45Speaker 01

  Title for a second.

• 13:46Speaker 04

  Yeah. That's true.

• 13:47Speaker 01

  Wait, what?

• 13:48Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, Spotify. Spotify is, it's like, it's, um.

• 13:52Speaker 01

  It's the Walmart of streaming process.

• 13:55Nilay Patel?

  It's more like the, the, the, the peak Catholic empire of music services. Right? It's so religious.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  Medici era fucking Catholic empire, yeah.

• 14:05Nilay Patel?

  Right? It doesn't know that it's about to fall apart.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  Right.

• 14:07Speaker 02

  Well, so here's, here's.

• 14:08Nilay Patel?

  Like, it doesn't know that Martin Luther is wandering the town with the 95 Theses. And that, you know, like, I don't know, that doesn't make any sense.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  No, especially.

• 14:15Nilay Patel?

  But it's like the hubris of the empire.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  Right.

• 14:17Nilay Patel?

  And it's, oh, it's all about to fall apart, all because they won't make like one change.

• 14:20Speaker 02

  Well, so here is my problem with Spotify that I have noticed lately. And it's possibly because my phone is old. Uh, I use an iPhone four.

• 14:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's your problem.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  But so every time I've gone underground and come back up, like every time I've gone out of cell service, I have to reload the app.

• 14:38Speaker 04

  Yes, that happens to me too.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  It's really stupid.

• 14:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, like when I leave the building here, I go in the elevator and then immediately jump into Spotify because I'm about to be in the subway. And it just is like, no, I'm not going to ever load for you. And then I either jump on airplane mode and then reboot the app. That is that, yeah.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  I don't really have that problem on Android, but it is, it has a terrible UI, just like in general.

• 14:59Nilay Patel?

  Right. No, it's a mess. Like, Apple's going to show up with Beats Music and they're going to do all the business model stuff they need to do to make these a success, but they're going to have the UI. And all of the people running iTunes on their $500 Windows PCs are just going to upgrade. And Apple like sweep them away because Spotify doesn't make it easy to go away from iTunes. Like, there's like a story to be written in the fact that if Spotify would just sell music on top of the streaming. So you pay them eight bucks a month or whatever it is. And then when Beyonce wants to sell her new record, they're just like Beyonce's new record is out. Would you like to buy it for $10? If Spotify would just turn on that button.

• 15:35Speaker 04

  You could just download the songs onto your device.

• 15:38Nilay Patel?

  Where? From when?

• 15:39Speaker 04

  On, you could just like hit offline mode and then the songs download to your device and then they're on your.

• 15:43Nilay Patel?

  Spotify won't sell you the album.

• 15:45Speaker 04

  But what's the difference between?

• 15:46Nilay Patel?

  They're not getting the music right now.

• 15:47Speaker 01

  Because you have like an exclusive deal with iTunes where Beyonce released her original album in 2013. It was exclusive for however long.

• 15:54Speaker 04

  Oh, you're saying because iTunes has have those artists.

• 15:56Nilay Patel?

  This is why, this is why my comparison was to religions and not like nation states. Spotify is religious about its business model.

• 16:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:03Nilay Patel?

  To its extreme detriment. Right? Like if they would just stop being like, everyone should stream everything.

• 16:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, but.

• 16:09Nilay Patel?

  And they'd be like, mostly we provide is streaming for the long tail. And then when Taylor Swift wants to show up and release an album, we let people pick the button and integrate it. And that means like, we can move over your iTunes library more effectively because we can just match your purchases or whatever. They would be more successful. But instead they have like religion and they have like this decaying empire cathedral of an app that's like.

• 16:32Speaker 04

  So do you?

• 16:33Nilay Patel?

  So terrible.

• 16:33Speaker 04

  Do you think?

• 16:35Nilay Patel?

  I'm really pushing this religion metaphor.

• 16:36Speaker 04

  Do you think that?

• 16:37Nilay Patel?

  Hi, I'm Neelai Patel and I'm talking about religion on the internet. This can only possibly go well.

• 16:43Speaker 04

  Do you think, Neelai, that Beats music will be comparable to Spotify streaming? Because I don't have an iTunes library. I ditched that model years ago. I couldn't keep up with it anymore. And now everything I do is, I stream everything for the most part. And if I want to listen to an album, I will just download it for offline because I use the subway twice a day and it works fine. And then I have like my starred playlist that I also, you know, like my favorite songs.

• 17:09Nilay Patel?

  But presumably what we're here to talk about is like, this is a Surface 3 conversation, but the most important thing.

• 17:14Speaker 04

  We got really off.

• 17:14Nilay Patel?

  The most interesting thing about our meeting with Microsoft when they were showing this thing to us was they just kept on bringing up iTunes. They brought it up like five times this meeting to prove that. It was like a real computer.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  Right.

• 17:26Nilay Patel?

  Because what you really want to do with your computer, if you're spending, if, because this is targeted very directly at like students and families and like a second computer for people who have real computers, right? And they were like, the thing you want to do on that kind of device is run iTunes. Um, and they just kept saying it. And they got, we got all the way to a point where like, are you going to put iTunes in a commercial? And they're like, well, that's probably one step too far. Right? But it's like a nice computer, right? Like it, I still have, uh, problems with the idea that it's not a laptop.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 17:56Nilay Patel?

  Like, that is still.

• 17:57Speaker 01

  It still wants to be a laptop, even though it isn't.

• 18:00Nilay Patel?

  In your heart of hearts, you want to be a laptop.

• 18:04Speaker 02

  So I'm, I'm just going to say this, I, I don't understand tablets at all. Um, at all, just because like I, the way that I tend to use the internet involves like, you know, typing.

• 18:16Speaker 04

  Uh, Liz, can you just tell the audience what kind of keyboard you use?

• 18:21Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 18:22Speaker 02

  Oh, my God. Are you guys going to like cyberbully me here?

• 18:24Speaker 04

  We need to contextualize your, you know, your view on these machines.

• 18:30Nilay Patel?

  Corporate Sam makes an appearance.

• 18:34Nilay Patel?

  I'd like to really contextualize.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Right there.

• 18:36Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  Um, so I, I actually have an external keyboard that I usually use, like split.

• 18:41Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. Oh, you have an ergo keyboard.

• 18:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:43Speaker 04

  It's nuts.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  It's, well, it's ergonomic and it doesn't hurt my hands, which is what I care about.

• 18:48Speaker 04

  It's like a baby transformer on her desk.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  Right. I mean, I just, I, you know.

• 18:52Nilay Patel?

  You travel with it.

• 18:52Speaker 02

  I travel with it. Yeah, I brought it, I brought it to CES and then everybody made fun of me.

• 18:57Nilay Patel?

  No, you were IRL bullying.

• 18:59Speaker 01

  No, I don't think, I don't think it was though, because I think we're like all on the verge of corporal tunnel.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:03Speaker 01

  All things considered, so it's like, it's good to have.

• 19:05Speaker 04

  I see what you did there, Kwame. No, I, I, I don't think we're making fun of you, Liz, per se. I think, I was, I'm just like shocked that like there, you use one of those, you know? Like, I don't think I've ever seen one of those in person, for real.

• 19:18Nilay Patel?

  High check ergonomic keyboards.

• 19:19Speaker 04

  10 out of 10. Easily. We're all going to be so, I mean, I, I have like pains in my thumbs now even because I've been using an iPhone since 2007, been typing on keyboards forever and laptop forever.

• 19:32Nilay Patel?

  And your pains in your thumbs?

• 19:33Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, for real. It's like already starting and I'm 24 years old.

• 19:37Nilay Patel?

  You know, to.

• 19:38Speaker 04

  For real.

• 19:39Nilay Patel?

  I believe you. I believe that you are not over exaggerating the pains in your thumbs.

• 19:46Speaker 01

  What were you gonna say?

• 19:47Nilay Patel?

  No, this point was to make about tablets, which is, there are days when I barely sit down at my desk at work and I just run all over the office in the meetings and it feels like I'm doing all of my work from my phone. Right, like everything that I, like, I'm communicating and I can communicate fairly well, not as well as I'd like to, but I can communicate with everybody I need to, even as I run around from my phone. It would never even occur to me to try to do that with a tablet anymore.

• 20:13Speaker 01

  Why?

• 20:14Nilay Patel?

  Because it's ridic-

• 20:16Speaker 01

  It's a completely different use case now.

• 20:18Speaker 04

  But because of the size?

• 20:19Speaker 01

  Because you have to like-

• 20:20Nilay Patel?

  If I'm gonna call a, uh, yeah.

• 20:22Speaker 01

  A wholly separate device that you need to use completely differently and you can only use the two hands and you may or may not actually have like a cell signal on it.

• 20:30Speaker 04

  You don't one hand the plus.

• 20:33Nilay Patel?

  All the time.

• 20:34Speaker 04

  Yeah?

• 20:34Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. It's not great, but I do it all the time.

• 20:37Speaker 04

  Fair.

• 20:38Nilay Patel?

  I mean, I actually use that double tap to bring the screen down, reachability, whatever it's called. I use it all the time.

• 20:43Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 20:44Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, it's great. I mean, like, all I'm saying is I wouldn't run around the office with an iPad. It just wouldn't occur to me to do that. It would, I would feel like a moron. Like, I would rather, if I'm gonna do that, I might as well carry my MacBook.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  I mean, like, the use case for the iPad, to me, seems like gaming.

• 20:58Speaker 04

  And Netflix bedtime.

• 21:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:00Nilay Patel?

  Netflix bedtime.

• 21:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:02Nilay Patel?

  Netflix bedtime is like a children's book by Sam Shepard. Goodnight Netflix. Wait, just one more. It's like a book that turns its pages in a circle and it never ends because you just watch one, never mind. I'm sorry.

• 21:16Speaker 04

  Eli has ideas about circles.

• 21:19Nilay Patel?

  Can you imagine if it was like a troll children's book? Called Goodnight Netflix? And you tried to, you kept on trying to say goodnight to it, but it kept on showing you one more page?

• 21:28Nilay Patel?

  And your children never went to bed?

• 21:31Nilay Patel?

  It'd be great. No, but the thing, so the thing, it's like a Surface 3, it's like- Microsoft can't make a laptop because it'll piss everybody off.

• 21:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:39Nilay Patel?

  So they have to keep making this tablet and like, what I really want is like the canonical Microsoft laptop.

• 21:45Speaker 04

  Will it happen?

• 21:45Nilay Patel?

  Microsoft make the best laptop.

• 21:47Speaker 04

  They.

• 21:47Nilay Patel?

  Just do it.

• 21:48Speaker 04

  Well, will you ever be able to buy a, like a Windows like laptop made by Microsoft hardware?

• 21:54Nilay Patel?

  I know.

• 21:55Speaker 04

  They own Nokia now, right? They could bang one of those out if they wanted to.

• 21:58Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. Although Nokia is making like a weird like Android thing now, right? Aren't they?

• 22:03Speaker 04

  Aren't they? They're making the tablet, the, the one that looks exactly like an iPad mini.

• 22:07Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 22:07Speaker 04

  Yeah. I mean, Google.

• 22:09Nilay Patel?

  It's like baby's first.

• 22:09Speaker 01

  It's frankly depressing.

• 22:10Speaker 04

  Google is making excellent Chromebooks now. They're doing it. And, and there's plenty of OEMs that are doing it too. And it's kind of just sad that Microsoft hasn't just realized like, hey, we make the operating system. We should also make the hardware. They can. They own Nokia. Do it, Microsoft.

• 22:27Nilay Patel?

  Do it.

• 22:28Speaker 04

  Just do it.

• 22:28Nilay Patel?

  Anyway, it's, it's fine. The Surface 3 is fine.

• 22:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. It'll come out.

• 22:32Nilay Patel?

  Hype check Surface 3.

• 22:34Speaker 04

  I've, like, six, maybe five or six. With Windows 10 around the corner, sure.

• 22:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, sure.

• 22:40Speaker 04

  I'll, I'll add some points to that.

• 22:41Nilay Patel?

  We're really, we're really leaning hard into numbers. Hype check numbers.

• 22:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's good. It feels good.

• 22:46Nilay Patel?

  See, I knew it.

• 22:47Speaker 04

  It, it works.

• 22:48Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, it'll come out. Okay, moving.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  Right along.

• 22:52Nilay Patel?

  Here's the, here's the next situation. Tommy, I'm going to lean hard on you for this. Tell me about Vin Diesel.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  About Vin Diesel? Uh, he's a big guy. He has a lot of feelings. He, he, oh, God. He's really into D and D, which we'll get into in a second.

• 23:13Nilay Patel?

  What?

• 23:13Speaker 01

  And he's deeply about family and, you know.

• 23:17Nilay Patel?

  All right, so we're obviously talking about Fast and Furious 7, which we tried to talk about with Becky.

• 23:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:21Nilay Patel?

  She's not having it with us.

• 23:24Speaker 02

  Didn't we, didn't we do a video that was a quick recap of Fast and Furious for those of us like me who have never seen one?

• 23:31Nilay Patel?

  I don't think that you can call it that thing quick, a recap or a video. It was like 10 minutes into Rondo's mind. It was, it is one of the craziest, like, I love Fast and Furious. If you are aware of The Verge, you know that many of the staff members, past and present, deeply love Fast and Furious.

• 23:52Speaker 01

  At this point, future, I would guess.

• 23:54Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 23:55Speaker 01

  It's gonna be on your resume.

• 23:56Speaker 04

  We have a worker, you have to like that series.

• 23:58Nilay Patel?

  We have five open job listings right now.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  One of them is for a science reporter. If there are any people who are into science listening.

• 24:04Nilay Patel?

  I'm sorry, it's Phil's voice on the thing, not Rhonda's. I thought it was Rhonda's voice in Phil's edit. Oh, I see. It's a combination of Phil's insanity mind and Rhonda's insanity voice.

• 24:15Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 24:15Nilay Patel?

  Okay, well, all that said.

• 24:18Speaker 04

  If someone's listening to this, go on our YouTube channel and find it. It's one of the most recent videos we published. Watch it, sit there for 10 minutes and just laugh your ass off.

• 24:24Nilay Patel?

  It is bonkers.

• 24:25Speaker 04

  It is incredible.

• 24:26Nilay Patel?

  But so here's, so one of their positions is for a science editor, and I know that if you apply to that job and you just fill in most of the fields with references to Fast and Furious, probably get a callback.

• 24:39Nilay Patel?

  I'm not saying that like you're gonna get a job.

• 24:41Speaker 04

  That's gonna happen now.

• 24:42Nilay Patel?

  I'm just saying if you want to talk to Chris Ziegler, that's a great way to get your name in the door. So yeah, Creighton, our old video producer and Chris have a Fast and Furious fan podcast called The Fast Cast.

• 24:54Speaker 04

  This is no joke.

• 24:54Nilay Patel?

  Which they've never invited me on because I think that, that my skepticism about Fast Six like really threw them.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm sure that's why.

• 25:04Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 25:07Nilay Patel?

  You know, Liz, let's talk about some tropes. Terrible.

• 25:11Speaker 04

  Oh man.

• 25:12Nilay Patel?

  Terrible things to say. But so Liz, you've never seen one of these movies?

• 25:16Speaker 02

  I have never seen one.

• 25:18Nilay Patel?

  Did you watch this video, the 10 minute video?

• 25:19Speaker 02

  I watched, I watched part of it and then I had, had to come down here. So.

• 25:23Nilay Patel?

  Trying to catch up.

• 25:24Speaker 02

  I was trying to catch up because I knew we were gonna be talking about it and I wanted to be able to say something other than that The Rock is entirely charming and I.

• 25:33Nilay Patel?

  The Rock is entirely charming?

• 25:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:34Nilay Patel?

  Not Vin?

• 25:35Speaker 02

  Vin's whatever. Yeah, no, I mean, The Rock is like, to me, like, he's like.

• 25:40Nilay Patel?

  I'm consistently surprised by this.

• 25:41Speaker 02

  He's like, he's kind of like a rottweiler who really, really wants to be like a chihuahua and sit in your lap, but is a rottweiler and like doesn't understand that he's 90 pounds and like won't fit.

• 25:51Nilay Patel?

  The Rock is a monster.

• 25:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, actually.

• 25:52Nilay Patel?

  Have you ever seen that picture of what The Rock used to look like?

• 25:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:55Nilay Patel?

  He's The Rock now.

• 25:56Speaker 04

  Have you seen the, the cheat day that he had that one time?

• 25:59Nilay Patel?

  No.

• 25:59Speaker 04

  He ate like, like two trays of brownies, like four trays of pasta, a pizza pie and like all this other crap. And he still looks diesel as hell.

• 26:08Nilay Patel?

  I want to, can we rewind to calling it a pizza pie? It's a pizza pie.

• 26:14Speaker 04

  A pie of pizza.

• 26:17Nilay Patel?

  That sounds amazing. Um, you know, so we are actually, so here's a fun thing about Furious Seven. We can get into a little bit. Komi, I think you should try to recap the Fast series.

• 26:26Speaker 02

  Please.

• 26:27Nilay Patel?

  It's a game I'd like to play.

• 26:28Speaker 01

  Good lord. Um.

• 26:30Speaker 02

  I'm prepared to smell what The Rock is cooking.

• 26:31Nilay Patel?

  Oh, my God. We're done.

• 26:35Speaker 01

  Effectively straight from Chris because I've seen only the first one in entirety.

• 26:40Nilay Patel?

  What?

• 26:40Speaker 01

  And through us, Moses, I've absorbed my knowledge of the Fast series through Chris because he sits right behind me and so I'm.

• 26:45Nilay Patel?

  I mean, we watched, I will say this, we launched a transportation section on Monday, April 1, which was actually yesterday, not Monday.

• 26:54Speaker 04

  Yesterday was Thursday. Thursday, April 1. It was not an April Fool's joke. A lot of people on social thought that our transportation hub was a joke and everyone was like, yeah.

• 27:05Nilay Patel?

  You're saying she got the dates wrong? Yesterday was Wednesday, April 1.

• 27:09Speaker 04

  Oh, today's Thursday. We're all, we're all drunk.

• 27:13Nilay Patel?

  Okay. Anyway, a lot of people thought it was April Fool's joke, but it's not. We're doing car coverage for real. And I, I just can't imagine a better gift to Chris on the launch of his car section than a new Furious movie.

• 27:25Speaker 01

  Right.

• 27:26Nilay Patel?

  But he's so mad about it because it's apparently bad.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  The thing is, it has like an 82% on Rotten Tomatoes right now, partly on the strength of like, like Paul Walker passing away and people like, yeah, this is like a legitimate tribute to this character and this person and the fact that it's just balls out insane.

• 27:44Nilay Patel?

  I think the, the idea of a legitimate tribute to a character in a movie where the characters basically have no emotions, except that's my family, that should explode and I'm gonna kill you.

• 27:56Speaker 02

  Those are good emotions.

• 27:57Nilay Patel?

  That's it. That's all they feel.

• 27:59Speaker 01

  The Fast movies, though.

• 28:00Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. Also, we should go really fast.

• 28:04Speaker 01

  Furiously.

• 28:06Nilay Patel?

  I know. So here, I will tell you, we're, we can, we can move on past this, but I will, here's the thing that's happening for real, for real, for real. Tomorrow, we are going to Aloft, in Greenpoint, where there will be a $50,000 media streamer, where we are going to rent for a portion of our staff, Fury7, for 24 hours, for $500. It is probably the most decadently rich thing. We're gonna write about it, of course.

• 28:35Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:35Nilay Patel?

  But I'm very excited about this adventure we're gonna take.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  It's gonna be fun.

• 28:39Nilay Patel?

  It's gonna be something.

• 28:40Speaker 01

  And it's gonna get weird. Yeah, I'm coming.

• 28:42Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. And you're like going out to see Bjork.

• 28:44Speaker 02

  No, I saw Bjork yesterday.

• 28:46Nilay Patel?

  You saw Bjork yesterday?

• 28:46Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:47Nilay Patel?

  How was Bjork? Tell me all about that.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  Oh, god, amazing. So it was a two-hour show. It was at New York City Center. And the first hour is her new album, which is a breakup album about her relationship with Matthew Barney.

• 28:59Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 29:00Speaker 02

  And then the second half of the show was sort of deep cuts and really, really fun. It was a little disjointed, the second half. The first half was super powerful. But as somebody who's into really gross animals, there was this amazing video of slug sex during one of the songs. Yeah. I was into it. But yeah, if you have a chance to see Bjork live, you should definitely do it. She's really something to see live. Like, seriously.

• 29:30Nilay Patel?

  I wish I could just be that professionally weird.

• 29:32Speaker 02

  Right?

• 29:33Nilay Patel?

  That's her move, right?

• 29:34Speaker 01

  She, pretty much, yeah, I'd say she probably like invented that particular strain of like artistic weirdness and like kind of love it because everyone kind of... Like, you can say Madonna is weird in her way and Lady Gaga is like weird in her way previously, apart from the whole Tony Bennett stuff.

• 29:51Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 29:51Speaker 01

  But yeah, Bjork is weird, dude. And like, she got in the MoMA, like, it's great.

• 29:56Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, I saw the MoMA show too while I was here. And I was a little underwhelmed by it. I mean, I read Emily's review before I went in, so I kind of knew what I was in for. But it felt like it was much more of an audio show than a visual show, which was a little bit of a bummer. I mean, I could have kind of listened to that as a podcast at home. You know what I mean?

• 30:14Speaker 01

  Right.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  But one of the things that's really remarkable, like she has such a visual aesthetic in terms of dress, that's really crazy.

• 30:23Nilay Patel?

  Right.

• 30:24Speaker 02

  And so seeing those costumes up close was remarkable, in part because like, you get a sense of like, you can't put your hands down in some of these dresses, like you can't put your hands by your side because there's so much going on. And that was a thing that I saw at the show.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  So much like foam and lace and stuff, it's crazy.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  It's crazy. And that was like, at the show, she was like, her last costume, she did three costume changes. And the one for the encore was this enormous puffy, yellow thing with long strings hanging down. And she spent a bunch of time twirling, which rightly so. But yes.

• 31:02Nilay Patel?

  Rightly so.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  Well, you know, if you have, if you have fun things to twirl with, why wouldn't you twirl?

• 31:06Nilay Patel?

  I agree. I mean.

• 31:08Speaker 01

  Where'd you, where'd you see the show, Liz?

• 31:10Nilay Patel?

  I'm an itinerant twirler.

• 31:11Speaker 02

  At New York City Center?

• 31:13Speaker 01

  Itinerant twirler?

• 31:14Nilay Patel?

  I don't know what that means. It just sounded good. I go from place to place, twirling.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  Like a whirling dervish, like?

• 31:22Nilay Patel?

  Yes, I'm a whirling dervish.

• 31:25Speaker 01

  Neela is a whirling dervish.

• 31:26Nilay Patel?

  Oh, you know what we need to talk about? Let's do, let's do, we gotta make some money.

• 31:32Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 31:33Nilay Patel?

  And then, hold on, I gotta do some stuff. And then we gotta talk about these Amazon buttons.

• 31:37Speaker 01

  Yes. Oh, dude.

• 31:38Nilay Patel?

  Which are not an April Fool's joke, but we, I think, is important.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:43Nilay Patel?

  I have a lot of things open.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  I signed up for those buttons, I really want one. Just, just to troll.

• 31:49Nilay Patel?

  Hold on, hold on, let me do this.

• 31:50Speaker 01

  I gotta do it.

• 31:51Nilay Patel?

  John, make the sound. Make the money noise. Today's episode of The Vergecast is brought to you by Tripcase. Tripcase has helped brilliant people take over 30 million trips last year by collecting their flight, hotel, and other trip items into a single app on your phone or tablet. You also get free flight notifications if you're delayed, or if your gate changes. And with support for Pebble and Android Wear, you'll always be up to date. To get started, just go to tripcase.com/vergecast to sign up. If you're still not convinced, after what I think was one of my top five ad reads ever, here's why Tripcase is the place where trips live.

• 32:28Nilay Patel?

  One, Kwame.

• 32:30Speaker 01

  Why are you looking at me?

• 32:32Nilay Patel?

  Because you are doubting the power of Tripcase's Uber integration, where it automatically fills in your pickup and drop-off locations based on your trip, shows you Uber rates within the app, and then all you do is click to get a ride. You just click it. There's also free flight alerts, which I'm not sure who else is charging you for flight alerts, but Tripcase will not charge you, in case you're worried about that. They will automatically alert you of any changes to your trip, like a flight delay or gate change. They'll email you. They'll send you push notifications to so many devices, be it a phone, tablet, or smartwatch.

• 33:02Speaker 02

  Lord knows, I need more notifications.

• 33:03Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:05Nilay Patel?

  Have you ever thought to yourself, "Am I taking a trip today? Better look at my smartwatch."

• 33:10Speaker 02

  No.

• 33:10Nilay Patel?

  Well, Tripcase is prepared. Super prepared for that possibility. You can also share your trip with people, with a coworker or a loved one. You can remember a place, so if you go someplace new, you can open the app, you can push the button, remember it the next time you're in town. There is the weather of your destination built into the app.

• 33:30Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 33:31Nilay Patel?

  What, you want to know that information?

• 33:32Speaker 01

  I mean...

• 33:33Nilay Patel?

  And then, I think this is potentially the most exciting, there are seat maps. So as you're booking your flight, it can tell you where to go. Go to tripcase.com/vergecast. Check it out. The Vergecast is also sponsored by Harry's, which is a company that sells blades. Let me tell you about them. When did shaving become so expensive? It seems like every razor has some futuristic vibrating and swiveling handle that no one asked for. Harry's is here to save that day. Their razors are about half the price of the other big branded blades, and they ship for free to your front doorstep. And they're better. The first blades are made in Germany, and they like them so much, Harry's just bought the entire factory, the entire factory of blades in Germany. That is commitment to cutting things.

• 34:16Nilay Patel?

  With Harry's, you'll get a better shave that respects your skin, slash face, slash legs, slash your wallet. No more poor-quality blades and no Pexy Plexiglas cabinets to unlock either.

• 34:30Nilay Patel?

  No more tongue twisters in the ads. The starter set is an amazing deal for $15. You get a razor, moisturizing shave cream, three razor blades. And with promo code VERGE, you can get $5 off of that for an amazing deal. Now, here's the truth, and I want you guys to know this. This is a fact. I have not shaved my face completely in like five years. But when I did, this is true, before I moved to New York, I used to shave. I refused to use the blades, the crap blades I used. I had the Badger, I was a fancy man, Badger brush thing. If Harry's was around then, I would have, I don't know. I want to say, I want to say I would have been in. I would have been in. It would have been shipped to my door. The quality of my shave would have been good.

• 35:14Nilay Patel?

  I mean, I was a bad shaver, which is kind of why I stopped shaving, but I think it would have been good. Also, great gifts, I think, for those of you who shave. Go to harrys.com now. Harry's will give you $5 off if you type in coupon code VERGE with your first purchase. That is harrys.com coupon code VERGE at checkout. And you should shave your face because you, I mean, honestly, you could stand to look a little bit better.

• 35:39Nilay Patel?

  All right, let's talk about this Amazon button.

• 35:41Speaker 01

  All right.

• 35:42Nilay Patel?

  I'm into it.

• 35:43Speaker 01

  I kind of want, like, number one, it's real, so it's amazing.

• 35:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, let's explain it for people.

• 35:48Speaker 02

  Yes, please.

• 35:48Nilay Patel?

  Sammy, why don't you, why don't you hype explain?

• 35:51Speaker 04

  Hype splain.

• 35:53Nilay Patel?

  No.

• 35:54Speaker 01

  We need to add that.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  I like that, we're doing that now, that's a thing.

• 35:58Nilay Patel?

  Okay, hype explain's a thing.

• 35:59Speaker 04

  I lost the headphones, okay, I'm not going to move. Um, okay, so, March 31st, the day before. What?

• 36:07Nilay Patel?

  What was the weather? It was a rainy night on March 31st, 2015.

• 36:10Speaker 04

  Um, so, the day before, um, April Fools, Amazon announced these buttons. They're called, it's Amazon Dash.

• 36:17Nilay Patel?

  Yes.

• 36:18Speaker 04

  And they partnered with 20 different manufacturers, uh, to make this little button that you could stick on places. So there's one for, let's say, Tide. So when you run out of Tide, when you're doing your laundry, you literally push that button and it just, one will show up at your house two days later. It is connected to your Amazon account and you can only, like, the each, each, uh, dash. is connected to one specific product. So shampoo, it's mostly things in your house too. You can't like order a laptop from it yet. But I thought it was a joke at first. And they've got 20 partners, like I said, and a lot of people on the internet seem to be into them.

• 36:56Nilay Patel?

  I'm super into them.

• 36:57Speaker 04

  Cause it's like.

• 36:57Nilay Patel?

  There's a whole backend service called the dash replenishment service.

• 37:00Speaker 04

  Is it really?

• 37:01Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, it's a whole thing. So like there's a coffee maker, like quirky put out a coffee maker alongside it. And the hopper for the beans has the button on it. So as your beans go, you push the button and a bean show up.

• 37:11Speaker 04

  But I, I think.

• 37:12Nilay Patel?

  Look, have you thought about what it's like to push a button and then have beans show up at your house?

• 37:17Speaker 04

  I, I just.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  Jetson level craziness right there.

• 37:19Speaker 04

  I think, I think the idea in theory is good, excuse me, but it needs to be delivered instantly for that to have real satisfaction. Right? Like you press a button and it's like.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Two days.

• 37:31Speaker 04

  LOL, two days later, like you're gonna forget that that package is showing up.

• 37:35Nilay Patel?

  I disagree.

• 37:36Speaker 04

  You disagree.

• 37:36Speaker 02

  I completely disagree also, actually.

• 37:38Speaker 01

  I completely agree.

• 37:39Nilay Patel?

  Wait, wait, who, what are we agreeing with? What are we? Hype check, hype check dash buttons.

• 37:46Speaker 04

  Eight out of 10.

• 37:47Nilay Patel?

  Eight, that's a high.

• 37:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, it's, it's an interesting.

• 37:50Nilay Patel?

  But you disagree with the premise that it's cool.

• 37:52Speaker 04

  It would be cool. It would be very cool if they had one hour delivery for that thing.

• 37:56Nilay Patel?

  Wait, objective hype check, Amazon dash buttons?

• 37:59Speaker 04

  Well, for like normal humans, probably like six or seven.

• 38:02Nilay Patel?

  Okay. And then Sam, subjective Sam.

• 38:04Speaker 04

  I mean, subjective Sam, corporate Sam, future Sam, present Sam.

• 38:08Nilay Patel?

  There's a lot of you. You contain multitude.

• 38:10Speaker 04

  Um, I'm a Gemini.

• 38:13Speaker 04

  Astrology, religion, I'm playing to the verge casting today.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 38:17Speaker 04

  No, right, right, like you.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  It got intense.

• 38:20Nilay Patel?

  This is Sam Shepard. He just conflated astrology and religion.

• 38:23Speaker 04

  Look, all I'm saying is that.

• 38:26Nilay Patel?

  His email address is [email protected].

• 38:29Speaker 04

  All I'm saying is that when you, when a human pushes a button today. There's like this, this thing in your brain that wants a reaction right away, right? If you push this button, does it make noise? Does it tell you? Is there an indicator saying when your packages are gonna arrive? It's like, boop, okay, that's it, done. Like that, the satisfaction is-

• 38:47Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, I think the question of like, how do you stop like children from just banging around?

• 38:51Speaker 02

  Well, so you know what a good prank would be? Would just be go to somebody's house and like press that button over and over.

• 38:56Speaker 01

  Like at Thanksgiving, just like-

• 38:58Speaker 04

  In the piece, it says that it's got some sort of software to prevent that from happening. I just feel like, is there, is there a visual or audio cue that confirms that your order actually went through? Like, you, I think Neela, you tweeted this. It's like the perfect, and I can't believe I'm gonna say this in real life, but it's the perfect internet of things thing.

• 39:16Nilay Patel?

  It is, it is the single best internet of things thing to ever exist.

• 39:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:20Nilay Patel?

  Right? It's like, it is-

• 39:21Speaker 04

  It's like a connected little shopping button thing that knows when you're out.

• 39:26Nilay Patel?

  No, it's a product that like did not, there, everyone has always talked about things like this.

• 39:31Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 39:32Nilay Patel?

  The connected fridge is one of these things where it's like, it knows you're running out of milk and then like milk shows up.

• 39:37Speaker 04

  Right.

• 39:38Nilay Patel?

  Or something happens.

• 39:39Speaker 04

  Right.

• 39:40Nilay Patel?

  But that is so much more complicated than I see that I'm running out of paper towel and push a button.

• 39:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:47Nilay Patel?

  You just mind, you just mind.

• 39:48Speaker 04

  I think, yeah, I think-

• 39:49Nilay Patel?

  You couldn't even help it. That was like a totally like-

• 39:52Speaker 02

  I was like, is there somebody behind us? What are we pointing at?

• 39:55Speaker 04

  I, I just think it would, it would work if it had one hour prime shipping and there was a visual cue. And you also have to like be conscious, like Neela, you just said like, you see that you're running out of something. Like what happens if you're pouring your Tide into the cup and it's like, it runs out right then and there, you know?

• 40:13Nilay Patel?

  I think that it's like the three times before that you picked up the thing and you were like, huh, this is pretty light.

• 40:18Speaker 04

  And then it's like, boom, press one, yeah.

• 40:19Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  So, it's cool. The reason I like it is because I have this problem where I don't necessarily think about things unless they're actually happening.

• 40:27Speaker 04

  Right.

• 40:28Speaker 02

  So like if I'm picking up like my laundry detergent and I'm like, oh, this is light. Um, you know, I'll think about it for the five minutes or so. And if I don't put it down on my list of things to do, like buy more laundry detergent, I just forget. So, in that sense, like being able to do the instantaneous like ordering where you're like, oh yeah, I'm running low on toilet paper. Um, that, that to me would be helpful.

• 40:49Speaker 01

  Right. Cause if you're out of toilet paper and then you're out of toilet paper, that button won't do you a damn thing.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  No, you're gonna go, have to go to the store like a pleb.

• 40:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 40:57Nilay Patel?

  Well.

• 40:59Speaker 01

  The thing that makes.

• 40:59Nilay Patel?

  Satis button. You're like, ah, I screwed that up. Ah, I waited two more.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  Yes. The thing that makes.

• 41:07Nilay Patel?

  That's where one hour prime shipping also won't help you.

• 41:09Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 41:10Nilay Patel?

  You're like, I've been here. I've been here for an hour. Just leave it and go. Just, just go. I paid for it with Prime.

• 41:19Speaker 01

  That's actually happened. Yeah. Where someone got stuck on the toilet and they ordered toilet paper from their phone and it showed up. Probably has.

• 41:27Nilay Patel?

  Worst task rabbit ever.

• 41:28Speaker 02

  If, if that is something you have done, please contact Sam at theverge.com. We want to hear your story.

• 41:33Nilay Patel?

  Task rabbits like building advanced semantic analysis to like prevent that from happening to their people.

• 41:39Speaker 01

  Oh, man. But like.

• 41:40Nilay Patel?

  It's another toilet paper guy.

• 41:42Speaker 01

  The thing that.

• 41:42Nilay Patel?

  Shut it down.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  The thing that I think is powerful, like about two days versus like one hour is that if you're just not thinking about like what you've ordered, like if you want to order toilet paper, but you're like not quite out yet, then you might think about it again. Like, oh, I should get toilet paper again. You'll order it again and then you'll have like this surplus of toilet paper. That's something I would totally do versus if it were connected to my prime now account, then okay, then I have like a thing of toilet paper that's ready for me in an hour's time. I don't have to think about it ever again until I.

• 42:12Nilay Patel?

  Right. And it, it, that's like a personal, like.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:14Nilay Patel?

  What is the saddest like nuclear fallout shelter? It's like empty racks of buttons. And it's like, oh, oh, I should have pressed these.

• 42:21Speaker 01

  Oh, man. We should write that story.

• 42:24Nilay Patel?

  We should just take that picture. Um, we used to call it the Patel general store in my basement because my dad would bulk buy everything. And then my sister and I would come home from college.

• 42:32Speaker 01

  Is that, is that also an Indian thing? Cause.

• 42:35Nilay Patel?

  Bulk buying everything. I think that's just a thing.

• 42:37Speaker 01

  That's just a thing?

• 42:38Nilay Patel?

  I think the fact that my first, my last name was involved in the, the nickname. Like, I'm sure there was the Schaeffer general store.

• 42:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, kind of.

• 42:45Nilay Patel?

  My dad couldn't resist it. So when my sister and I came home from college, we would just like go shopping in the basement, like all the time. And then he would, and then we could have just been like, boop. Like.

• 42:55Nilay Patel?

  I took everything. He was so happy about it. My parents are those people who like if you if you go to their house and mildly enjoy anything they own, like four days later, they've sent you one.

• 43:04Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 43:05Nilay Patel?

  Like, just that's like their move. And it's always like, my dad worked nights in the ER, so he like stayed up. He couldn't fall asleep, so he would like stay up and watch infomercials. So like, we had any number of like food dehydrators and like kitchen gadgets.

• 43:17Speaker 04

  Did you have a ShamWow?

• 43:19Nilay Patel?

  Uh, yes.

• 43:20Speaker 04

  Did it work?

• 43:21Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 43:21Nilay Patel?

  Right. Because think about this. When I was grand, there was no internet, right? So my dad would just like not be able to fall asleep and he would watch infomercials and he'd be like, that's a gadget.

• 43:30Nilay Patel?

  We can have that. We can have that right now. And then they're like, it would show up. You're like, let's, everyone is eating dried apples for a month. And we would, like seriously, I'd come home from college, like, we bought this juicer. And he'd be like, try the juice. And you'd have to be like, yes, it's pretty, it's great. Good. And then it'd be like, three days later, like in my dorm, like a huge juicer box would show up.

• 43:47Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 43:48Nilay Patel?

  Constantly.

• 43:48Speaker 04

  You need this.

• 43:49Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 43:49Speaker 04

  You need this in your life.

• 43:50Nilay Patel?

  You said you like to juice, though. So I bought you a juicer. I'm like, I live in 20 square feet in Chicago. Like, what do you want me to, well, drink juice, obviously. My dad and I have word conversations.

• 44:01Nilay Patel?

  Dash buttons. Hype check. Final hype check.

• 44:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'll give him a seven.

• 44:04Nilay Patel?

  All right. All right, Liz, we got to talk about some science stuff. You're here.

• 44:07Speaker 02

  I am here. So, um, uh, one of the things that's going on in California is a tremendous drought, um, which, you know, it's historic. It's huge.

• 44:19Speaker 04

  How bad is it?

• 44:20Speaker 02

  It's pretty bad. I mean, we have like about a year of water left in our reserves. I don't know if you saw that in the LA Times.

• 44:26Speaker 04

  In California or?

• 44:28Speaker 01

  California.

• 44:28Speaker 02

  In California. And like, um, in places in, uh, in the Central Valley, they're, they're pulling up water from wells so fast that the, the land is sinking.

• 44:37Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 44:39Speaker 02

  And one of the things that's like exciting about this is, you know, that the government is acknowledging that there's a problem, but about 80% of the water use is actually by agriculture. And that's not affected by, um, it's not affected by, uh, these, these restrictions, basically. You know, I mean, it's great. I've been taking drought showers for a while, so I'm usually in the shower for about three minutes, maybe, maybe five.

• 45:03Speaker 04

  Conscious thing that you do, right? This is not a, like,

• 45:06Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, I mean, I'm a crazy environmentalist. I think that it's important to conserve water. This is just something that I have been doing for like the last year or so.

• 45:16Speaker 04

  And California state has recently regulated water usage, right?

• 45:20Speaker 02

  That's right. So there's like a $500 fine if you go over. Yeah, it's pretty serious. But again, this doesn't affect agriculture and like 10% of the water usage is just almonds, by the way. So like maybe stop buying almond milk because you are destroying California.

• 45:34Nilay Patel?

  Wait, what?

• 45:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, did you not know this? Almonds require a lot of water.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  There are a bunch of pieces what last year about like how unsustainable almond agriculture is.

• 45:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:44Speaker 01

  It's a problem.

• 45:44Speaker 02

  It is a huge problem.

• 45:46Nilay Patel?

  Let's walk you through the problem. Let's just back it up. Almonds.

• 45:50Speaker 01

  Almonds are bad.

• 45:51Nilay Patel?

  Almonds are bad.

• 45:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:53Nilay Patel?

  Because?

• 45:54Speaker 02

  Well, so because they suck up so much water and they're being grown in a place where there isn't a lot of water. I mean, that's mainly it. Like, you know, they're good for you in terms of like food. They're perfectly good sources of protein. They're delicious on salads. But like, you know, the way that we're producing them and the way that we're using them isn't sustainable.

• 46:11Nilay Patel?

  Crazy. How does one sustain an almond?

• 46:14Speaker 02

  That's a good question.

• 46:15Nilay Patel?

  And the word sustainable in that context in particular is like, what, what is you like?

• 46:25Speaker 02

  But I mean, they just require a lot more water than we have, you know? And so like all of these things with like almond milk, that's like kind of a trend now where people are like, oh, dairy is bad for you. Which, well, that's a whole different thing. But, you know, like people are moving towards almonds.

• 46:39Nilay Patel?

  I've never seen three people just like basically like opinions. Almond milk is, opinions, they're out there everywhere. Let's move on. No, okay, so California is not running out of water.

• 46:53Nilay Patel?

  Nathan Siker just tweeted an incredible picture of you.

• 46:57Speaker 04

  Wait, no, Liz, I want you to talk about this water.

• 46:59Nilay Patel?

  Talk about why they're out of water. How to fix it.

• 47:02Speaker 04

  This water situation doesn't only exist in California also, right? It's kind of a.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  It's, I mean, it's the West generally. There's like, there hasn't been a whole lot of precipitation. There hasn't been a lot of snow. But they're also like, part of what's going on is it's unusually hot also.

• 47:17Speaker 01

  It's a drought like for the last, what, couple of years now?

• 47:19Speaker 02

  Several years, yeah. I forget how many, how many years. But the actions that are, that are, the government is taking are meant to reduce water usage by about a quarter. You know, and Jerry Brown was basically on, standing on dry grass where there should have been snowpack.

• 47:36Nilay Patel?

  Really?

• 47:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:37Nilay Patel?

  Wow.

• 47:38Speaker 02

  And again, it's because it's been hot. So like the snow has been melting, but-

• 47:41Nilay Patel?

  You say Edmund Brown, not Jerry Brown.

• 47:43Speaker 02

  Well, Edmund is his real name.

• 47:44Nilay Patel?

  Oh, okay.

• 47:45Speaker 02

  And Jerry is his nickname.

• 47:46Nilay Patel?

  Whoa. Wasn't there an older Jerry Brown? Am I crazy?

• 47:49Speaker 02

  This is the same one.

• 47:50Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 47:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, he was, he was the governor, like, I think, he was like Governor Moonbeam in the 70s or whatever, and then came back.

• 47:56Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, that's what I remember him at. He's back.

• 47:57Speaker 02

  He's back. But so, so one of the things that's been going on is like, people are starting to do things like, and there were, there were reports in this last year, they're painting their dry grass green instead of watering it.

• 48:06Nilay Patel?

  Wow.

• 48:07Speaker 01

  We just talked about this too. It's nuts.

• 48:08Speaker 02

  It's nuts. And like, another thing that I really like is that, you know, you see people using succulents as, as lawn rather than grass, because grass is actually an invasive species.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  It was, it's brought over, I think, from England or Scotland. It was used initially as like a wealth signifier, basically, and now is just the standard. So that's, that's another thing to think about if you are a crazy environmentalist, you know? If you are living in a place like California, maybe don't have grass.

• 48:36Nilay Patel?

  Right.

• 48:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:37Nilay Patel?

  That's wild. So as a Californian-

• 48:40Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 48:41Nilay Patel?

  You are now a proud Californian.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  I am a proud Californian.

• 48:43Nilay Patel?

  What's your, what's your, what's your move? Are you cutting water in your daily life?

• 48:48Speaker 02

  Um, I, I mean, again-

• 48:49Nilay Patel?

  This is like some like dystopia stuff.

• 48:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Well, so I'm trying to use as little as possible. But again, most of the water is being used by agriculture, and that's like a whole separate process for regulation. So if you really wanted to cut into that, you would, you would need to basically work against agricultural lobbying groups, which are very powerful. I mean, in Central Valley, I, I went to Joshua Tree before I came here. And there are all these signs up that say, "Stop the second bus, Dust Bowl, the government caused the Dust Bowl," blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's all like water usage stuff. Like, this is, this is big, big politics. And there's actually, if you know who William Vollman is, he is a writer, a novelist. He almost always writes at a thousand pages. You don't have to read

• 49:35Speaker 02

  them all. But it's like a thousand pages per book. But he wrote this great book called Imperial, about California's Imperial Valley and water usage. And it's like this amazing history of the politics around water, which have been really incredible. Like, a lot of water comes from, from Colorado. It's like brought in.

• 49:57Speaker 02

  Um, and one of the things that was super crazy to me at CES, coming from a place with, with, with drought, was seeing those water fountains in Vegas, which are like sort of signifiers of wealth.

• 50:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  You know, like, we're so, we're so wealthy that we can just waste water on fountains.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  Well, Vegas is like blinkered and like bizarre in a whole host of ways.

• 50:15Speaker 02

  Right. So, um, you know, it's one of those things where like, you know, $500 a day fines are great. They're a nice start for, for water consumption.

• 50:24Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  But i- if you're thinking about it in a long-term way, you need to be thinking about agriculture. You need to be thinking about wineries. You need to be thinking about the weed operations. Both of those are huge. Um, uh, they, they use a lot of water.

• 50:37Nilay Patel?

  Right.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  And then, you know, things like almonds, things about, um, a lot of, a lot of produce comes from California. And there must be better ways to, to utilize water in agriculture. That's like one of those things where you're like, Silicon Valley talks about changing the world, but.

• 50:53Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. I mean, that's, that's a crazy thing to me. It's like the values there, all this, all these, all these tech companies are there. And then for there to be drought, like.

• 51:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. Does Zuckerberg give a crap that there's a drought in his state?

• 51:05Nilay Patel?

  I mean, drought is like the oldest of like maladies.

• 51:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:08Nilay Patel?

  Like, like literally.

• 51:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is. It's absolutely biblical.

• 51:12Nilay Patel?

  Why did people die before? Cause drought. And they're like, but these cars drive themselves. They'll drive you to water. It's like totally crazy.

• 51:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:21Nilay Patel?

  Like all of the most advanced things and then the oldest problem we've ever had.

• 51:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, it's, it's, you know, water is life, basically. Like there's, there's no life without water. That's literally what we look for when we're looking for planets that could sustain life. That one of the main things we're looking for is water.

• 51:37Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 51:37Speaker 02

  And if we don't have water, we don't have life.

• 51:40Nilay Patel?

  A lot of religious themes on the show today.

• 51:43Nilay Patel?

  I don't know why we've gotten there. I think that's a good time to turn to Deadpool.

• 51:48Speaker 01

  There was like no segue whatsoever.

• 51:51Nilay Patel?

  John, do we have the sound of a segue crashing?

• 51:55Nilay Patel?

  The sound of like a drunk cop on a segue, just like motoring into a wall.

• 51:58Speaker 01

  Paul Blart, mall cop.

• 52:00Nilay Patel?

  Paul Blart.

• 52:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:02Nilay Patel?

  Paul, all right, Paul. John, look through the, uh, Paul Blart fully reel for the segue crash.

• 52:06Speaker 01

  Let's not.

• 52:08Nilay Patel?

  Go ahead. Check that out for me, buddy.

• 52:13Speaker 01

  Um.

• 52:14Nilay Patel?

  I'm just trying to, we have five minutes left in the show.

• 52:17Speaker 01

  Five minutes? God, I mean.

• 52:18Nilay Patel?

  Blown right by.

• 52:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 52:20Nilay Patel?

  That's what happens when, when, when we start the show. Ten minutes rambling about nothing.

• 52:25Speaker 01

  Oh, Becky.

• 52:26Nilay Patel?

  Um, she was great.

• 52:27Speaker 01

  She was great.

• 52:28Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 52:28Speaker 01

  Um, okay, so Deadpool.

• 52:30Nilay Patel?

  She's, she's tweeting about mailboxes right now.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  Is she?

• 52:32Nilay Patel?

  Yep. All right.

• 52:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, tell me about Deadpool, because I've only ever read Lady Deadpool, like Mary H K Choi did a really awesome Lady Deadpool. That, that was really cool, but I'm not familiar with the original character.

• 52:45Speaker 01

  Okay, so Deadpool is one of those characters who was created by esteemed sarcasm. Writer, Rob Leifeld, and he's a beloved character who, like in the Marvel Universe, where it's like, he'll break the fourth wall, and he'll just like crack bizarre jokes, he loves chimichangas, and he'll kill everything. So it's pretty great, and people are really excited for the movie to come out next year.

• 53:09Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  And Ryan Reynolds is playing the character.

• 53:12Nilay Patel?

  But he was, Ryan Reynolds also played the character in that miserable Wolverine movie.

• 53:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, X-Men Origins Wolverine came out in 2009, and they destroyed that character.

• 53:22Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 53:22Speaker 01

  But Ryan Reynolds was actually pretty good when he was actually like talking. As Wade Wilson.

• 53:27Nilay Patel?

  Ryan Reynolds is only, only good at talking.

• 53:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:31Nilay Patel?

  Right? Like, I, I, I would, I would watch a movie that was just, uh, uh, uh, oh my God. What's happening to me?

• 53:42Speaker 02

  Did you get Ryan?

• 53:43Nilay Patel?

  I figured it out. It's, uh, and just go with me on this, it's just Ryan Reynolds, uh, Robert Downey Jr. And Hugh Grant just being charming.

• 53:53Speaker 02

  Actually, you know, I've watched that.

• 53:54Nilay Patel?

  They don't go anywhere, they don't do anything, they just try to charm each other a little bit.

• 53:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I would totally watch that.

• 54:00Nilay Patel?

  Totally watch that movie.

• 54:00Speaker 01

  I would totally watch that.

• 54:01Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 54:02Speaker 01

  It's different style of charm, like.

• 54:03Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, all the way around.

• 54:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:04Nilay Patel?

  And it's like on the snark meter.

• 54:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:06Nilay Patel?

  Like, you know, like, you, you definitely would like take Hugh Grant, no, they're not, like Hugh Grant is like a man without snark. Like, he's, he's very dry and sarcastic, but he's still like, you know, I'm a, I'm here for you.

• 54:17Speaker 02

  He's got floppy hair, people like that.

• 54:19Speaker 01

  He cares.

• 54:19Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, he cares. He cares.

• 54:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:21Nilay Patel?

  And then Robert Downey Jr. Has like, there's a heart of gold in there.

• 54:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, but like post drunk, like lots of drugs in the 90s.

• 54:27Nilay Patel?

  Right, but he's, there's still, there's still a core, you can get it.

• 54:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:30Nilay Patel?

  Right, and then Ryan Reynolds is like, you're a, you're just a D-bag. You're just a hundred percent gonna do something stupid.

• 54:36Speaker 01

  I don't know about all that.

• 54:36Speaker 02

  So, but.

• 54:37Nilay Patel?

  That's not your scale?

• 54:39Speaker 01

  I like Ryan Reynolds. I mean,

• 54:42Nilay Patel?

  like, he was. As not as, like, I don't know them as people. I mean, in terms of the characters they always play.

• 54:47Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he's.

• 54:49Nilay Patel?

  I can't, I, yeah.

• 54:51Speaker 02

  I'm just gonna say it. What women would you put in this movie?

• 54:54Nilay Patel?

  No, I'm saying it would just be the three of them being charming.

• 54:56Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 54:57Nilay Patel?

  What? The three of them talking very fast. That's it. That's the whole movie. I understand, I understand why you would ask me that question, and why you'd have asked it to me. But I'm saying a movie that was just the three of them talking very fast would be very entertaining.

• 55:10Speaker 02

  I mean, it would.

• 55:11Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, that's it. I mean, if you would like to cast additional fast-talking people in this movie, you're more than welcome to.

• 55:16Speaker 02

  Man, you know, I feel like who would be really good is Reese Witherspoon when she's drunk and like back-talking like the cop. And like, she's like the, the, the force that they have to interact with and figure out how to charm.

• 55:27Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 55:28Speaker 02

  Like Reese Witherspoon when she's not on. Like Reese Witherspoon when she like.

• 55:31Nilay Patel?

  Hungover Reese Witherspoon. Yeah, I'm like, obviously, like, in this zone, like, there's like a, there's a very, like, dry Tina Fey area.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:39Nilay Patel?

  It could happen.

• 55:40Speaker 02

  Amy Poehler just like comes in. Yeah.

• 55:43Nilay Patel?

  No, but like, that, that's all the wrong mode. That's what I'm saying.

• 55:47Speaker 02

  They're not charming enough?

• 55:48Nilay Patel?

  They're, they're, it's all, it's the wrong, it's not that, like, bitter sarcastic, I'm talking over you meta.

• 55:54Speaker 02

  So Jeanne Garofalo, maybe?

• 55:56Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, like that. Like that kinda, that's the mood.

• 55:58Speaker 01

  I'm gonna go real weird here. Kristen Schaal.

• 56:00Speaker 02

  Oh, word, yeah.

• 56:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, cuz you don't know. Like, she'll just come out you from like, like, left field. It'd be weird.

• 56:08Nilay Patel?

  No, I'm with you. I don't know, maybe this is like a personal thing. Like, that, Kristen Schaal is like, she's on another planet. And usually, there's like hilarious dispatches. This is like, I think all of their charm looks, it's, it's all the same. Those three in particular, it's like, they're, they're with you, but they're just talking, they're always talking to another audience.

• 56:29Nilay Patel?

  That's, that's all I'm getting at.

• 56:30Speaker 02

  Constantly performing.

• 56:31Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, yeah, they're always on. I had, I have a bunch of friends who are always on. They're exhausting people to hang out with.

• 56:35Speaker 02

  They sure are.

• 56:36Nilay Patel?

  Um, but then I'm like, that was, huh.

• 56:39Speaker 02

  That was entertaining. That was fun, and now I need to go take a nap.

• 56:41Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, exactly. I'm saying, it would be nothing, it would just be, and then they would like, they would like hurt each other at the end. It would just be their inability to like be the most on. It would just like lead to gore in some way.

• 56:55Speaker 04

  Gore?

• 56:56Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, it would end in a violent confrontation.

• 56:58Speaker 04

  Not Al Gore.

• 57:00Nilay Patel?

  Oh my god, this Full House news.

• 57:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's what I was gonna bring up before.

• 57:03Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 57:04Nilay Patel?

  Okay, you finished Deadpool, and then we have to do this.

• 57:07Speaker 01

  I'm not happy about this at all.

• 57:08Nilay Patel?

  Okay, can you just finish the Deadpool thing?

• 57:11Speaker 01

  Okay, so Deadpool is coming out next February.

• 57:13Nilay Patel?

  Yeah.

• 57:13Speaker 01

  And there was a new trailer, an April Fool's trailer, where Ryan Reynolds is talking to Mario Lopez, who is like the biggest tool in the world. I'm not sure in real life, because I don't know the guy. But Deadpool comes out of nowhere and just knocks him over and kills him, and makes like this offhand reference to Saved by the Bell, and it's amazing.

• 57:30Nilay Patel?

  Wow.

• 57:31Speaker 01

  Like, it's on the site right now, you need to watch it if you haven't watched it.

• 57:33Nilay Patel?

  Yeah. Kristen Ritter.

• 57:35Speaker 02

  Ah, she's great, yeah.

• 57:37Nilay Patel?

  That's, that's, that's one. Okay, I'll think of more.

• 57:41Speaker 02

  So, I, I haven't seen this Full House news, tell me about Full House.

• 57:44Nilay Patel?

  Just read, read our, it's all over, literally, there are no other tweets.

• 57:48Speaker 04

  All right, ready?

• 57:49Nilay Patel?

  It's illegal to tweet about anything but this right now.

• 57:51Speaker 04

  Netflix may be reviving Full House as Fuller House.

• 57:55Speaker 02

  That sounds awful.

• 57:56Speaker 01

  Beef or bust, Sam?

• 57:58Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, buddy.

• 57:58Speaker 04

  I will, I will definitely give Full House beef, I grew up on that show, but this remake, how the hell can you remake Full House, just leave it alone?

• 58:05Nilay Patel?

  I have a question for you, can you name three other TGIF shows? Three.

• 58:10Speaker 04

  What does that mean, TGIF shows?

• 58:11Nilay Patel?

  Wasn't Full House a TGIF show?

• 58:12Speaker 01

  No.

• 58:13Nilay Patel?

  No, it wasn't.

• 58:13Speaker 04

  What does that mean?

• 58:14Nilay Patel?

  It just came up during that time?

• 58:15Speaker 04

  Yeah. What is a TGIF show?

• 58:17Nilay Patel?

  What?

• 58:17Speaker 04

  Like, a show that you watch?

• 58:18Speaker 01

  TGIF, ABC 7?

• 58:21Speaker 04

  What?

• 58:21Nilay Patel?

  Okay, so I, I just got something else wrong, but I'm happy for my ignorance of this. To me, Full House is wrapped up into an era of television that was defined by, like, was it Casey Warner Productions? And they produced every family sitcom on ABC.

• 58:37Speaker 04

  They did, what did they do, Step by Step?

• 58:39Nilay Patel?

  Step by Step.

• 58:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:42Nilay Patel?

  Family Matters, Boy Meets World. Right, and it was all of those shows.

• 58:46Speaker 01

  They did Serena too?

• 58:47Nilay Patel?

  Yeah, John knows this stuff cold. He's just, he, that's, you're not even hearing him in earphones right now. He's just screaming in the control room, the names of 80s and 90s shows. Um, and Full House, in my mind, is one of those shows, but it's not. Am I crazy?

• 59:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, so during, during this time, when these TGIF, you know, shows were on, I was there watching Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network, watching shows like Rocket Power and SpongeBob and a ton of others, Hey Arnold and-

• 59:17Speaker 01

  Good shows.

• 59:17Speaker 04

  Yes, all the, all the 90s people watching the show know exactly what I'm talking about. There's so many others, Johnny Bravo, Powerpuff Girls, uh, and then you got into like Adult Swim. But yeah, I, I, I watched, um, no, I watched, what the hell is it called? Full House on, um, Nick at Night.

• 59:34Speaker 01

  Right.

• 59:34Speaker 04

  That was like my thing. It was Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon growing up, not ABC. Or like the Disney Channel. Like a lot of people like closer to my age, like watched the Disney Channel growing up.

• 59:42Speaker 01

  I don't really even remember Disney Channel like circa 97.

• 59:46Speaker 02

  I wasn't allowed to watch television.

• 59:49Nilay Patel?

  John, you're crazy. Full House was a TGIF show. I just, I just Wikipeded you, man. Uh, Full House started before TGIF and then it rotated into the schedule of Family Matters, Perfect Strangers.

• 1:00:01Speaker 04

  We're in a deep, a deep-

• 1:00:02Nilay Patel?

  This is not a deep hole. This is like, you know, this was a thing. Like in this moment in the 90s, like, networks would block their programming. So NBC had must see TV and ABC had TGIF. And all of that stuff is coming back, right? It's all being mined for nostalgia.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:22Nilay Patel?

  So because they were blocked out and it would be like, watch 10 shows on NBC on Thursday night. Those shows are all together and they all share branding and they all have these like weird, they all have the same piece of like 30 somethings, watched all of them.

• 1:00:35Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:00:36Nilay Patel?

  So on Thursday nights, like, people of my generation-

• 1:00:38Speaker 04

  Cause the idea is like, you watch the first show and they want you to stay on the network.

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:42Speaker 04

  And it's like, just wa, keep watching.

• 1:00:45Nilay Patel?

  Just hit the Verge homepage, explain every story. And then 10 years from now, we'll just bring them all back. Remember that story about the Amazon Dash buttons? Now come to Netflix.

• 1:00:56Speaker 02

  Although I feel like we, one of the things we've learned from Facebook is that nostalgia is not always a good thing, right? I mean-

• 1:01:01Speaker 04

  Oh, look at that segue.

• 1:01:02Speaker 02

  Ah.

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  Nicely done.

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  Like a professional.

• 1:01:05Nilay Patel?

  Liz, two for two. First she's cat, making me cast women, my Ryan Reynolds movie. Now she's segueing right into burning Facebook.

• 1:01:14Speaker 01

  It's not even like a hard burn, by the way, but

• 1:01:17Nilay Patel?

  What?

• 1:01:17Speaker 01

  Burning Facebook?

• 1:01:18Nilay Patel?

  No, no, it's burning Facebook right now is the easiest thing in the world. Everybody in the world right now has a bone to pick with Facebook.

• 1:01:23Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:24Nilay Patel?

  Like, it doesn't matter. Like, if you talk to media people, for example, Liz, this is a, Liz and I have a favorite pastime of talking to media people and then slacking each other about those conversations later. And I have a pastime of spilling shit on coffee.

• 1:01:36Nilay Patel?

  So, like, media people are all terrified of Facebook because they're a looming monster. Regular people are mad because, uh, bad memories are now just automatically populating their timelines.

• 1:01:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:47Nilay Patel?

  Uh, moms everywhere are mad.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Snapchat's mad.

• 1:01:49Nilay Patel?

  Because they're learning how to use it.

• 1:01:51Speaker 01

  Snapchat's super mad because Facebook is thirsty.

• 1:01:54Nilay Patel?

  What? How's Snapchat mad?

• 1:01:55Speaker 01

  Snap, because they just came out with their third iteration of like their, what was the new Facebook app that?

• 1:02:01Speaker 04

  Uh, Riff.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  Riff, yeah.

• 1:02:03Speaker 04

  Riff.

• 1:02:04Speaker 01

  And that's like the third iteration.

• 1:02:05Speaker 04

  Okay. Oh, man, we're, we're kind of out of time, but...

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  They had Slingshot.

• 1:02:10Speaker 04

  Yep. And now they're trying Riff.

• 1:02:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:12Speaker 04

  So, whenever these apps come out, I have, like, all of my non-tech, normal-y friends that just, like, see things on Facebook or, like, you know, are hip to this stuff in some way, no one asked me about Riff. Like, that did not, that did not even make a ripple in the pond yesterday. It's like, we hit the news, all the tech outlets hit the news, and then no one gave a crap. I didn't even download it. Did anyone here download Riff?

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:02:38Speaker 02

  I'm not on Facebook.

• 1:02:39Speaker 04

  What is Riff? Exactly my point.

• 1:02:41Speaker 02

  I'm not on Facebook. I haven't been on Facebook since 2006. That's when I quit.

• 1:02:44Nilay Patel?

  Trey, our, our video producer, also on Facebook, and today someone was point, was showing him the, um, the, you know, the news where it's like, old things are showing up and people are like, don't like it. And it's like, just a lot of bad memories. And like, literally, he was responsible. He's like, yes, that's Facebook for me. Cold and personal and bad memories.

• 1:03:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:03Speaker 04

  I deleted my Facebook in college for a solid year, and it was the best thing ever. Get off Facebook. Do it now while you can.

• 1:03:10Speaker 02

  Quit Facebook. I mean, that's, that's, that's like a recurring theme. If you follow me on Twitter, it's, it's

• 1:03:15Speaker 04

  Quit Facebook.

• 1:03:15Speaker 02

  Quit Facebook.

• 1:03:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:16Speaker 01

  Sam, are you on Facebook right now?

• 1:03:17Speaker 04

  I have to be because of work.

• 1:03:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:20Speaker 04

  Kind of.

• 1:03:21Nilay Patel?

  I'm on Facebook just to, just to, you know, check out old flames.

• 1:03:25Speaker 01

  Oh, dude.

• 1:03:26Speaker 02

  Are you?

• 1:03:28Nilay Patel?

  No.

• 1:03:29Speaker 02

  Which one of us is telling Becky about this? That's the real question.

• 1:03:32Nilay Patel?

  I think Becky is more interested in the travails of my old flames than anyone. She's very much like, ah, hmm, six babies now for that one.

• 1:03:40Speaker 04

  Hmm. What? What does that mean?

• 1:03:45Speaker 04

  What just came out of your mouth? Six babies for that one? Is that a sentence?

• 1:03:49Nilay Patel?

  It's just like a joke.

• 1:03:50Speaker 04

  Are you terrified of babies?

• 1:03:51Nilay Patel?

  Because we left Midwest and live in New York and we're like a, like a, you know, like cynical, childless couple.

• 1:03:57Speaker 04

  Oh, so she's gonna punish you with children?

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  What is this dual income, no kids?

• 1:04:03Nilay Patel?

  Dinks.

• 1:04:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:04Nilay Patel?

  It's, we're yuppies of the finest sort.

• 1:04:06Speaker 04

  Dinks?

• 1:04:06Speaker 02

  Dinks.

• 1:04:10Nilay Patel?

  Hype check being good at acronyms.

• 1:04:13Speaker 04

  It sounded like you guys said dicks. I don't know.

• 1:04:17Speaker 04

  By the way, Sam?

• 1:04:18Nilay Patel?

  By the way, that's what you would title that Ryan Reynolds movie. That solves all my problems.

• 1:04:23Speaker 04

  Wait, what? By the way, on Doug, the dinks, the family?

• 1:04:27Nilay Patel?

  Yes.

• 1:04:27Speaker 04

  They were dual income, no children family.

• 1:04:29Nilay Patel?

  Oh, that's what?

• 1:04:30Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:04:31Nilay Patel?

  Wow, you just blew my mind.

• 1:04:33Speaker 04

  It all becomes clear.

• 1:04:34Nilay Patel?

  By the way, the Wikipedia page for TGIF, just, it just, just read this.

• 1:04:39Speaker 04

  Nostalgia all over the place.

• 1:04:39Nilay Patel?

  No, it's not nostalgia. It's just like, you wanna know why the TV industry like basically just like lost the internet? It's because for a while, they tried to spin off TGIF, which thank God it's Friday, into I Love Saturday Night. And they, because to get audience for Who's the Boss, Growing Pains, and Perfect Strangers. They're like, these shows suck now. I love Saturday. Yeah, I don't know. Everything, everything about TV is crazy to me.

• 1:05:03Speaker 04

  Yeah. TV is super weird. I would love to just have, spend an hour on a Vergecast talking about the cable industry and television right now.

• 1:05:11Nilay Patel?

  There's another, one other piece of news. You see it? The Apple thing, where Apple wants people to pay for their own streams?

• 1:05:16Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:05:17Nilay Patel?

  Which is, I understand why they wanna do it, but insanity.

• 1:05:19Speaker 04

  It'll happen. Apple will be able to do it. They're the richest company in the world. They're, they're gonna do it.

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  Welcome to the iVerge.

• 1:05:26Speaker 04

  I have no, I have, I have called this, I have called this Apple television thing for a while now. I don't remember the first time I ever saw it on the Verge.

• 1:05:33Speaker 01

  Gene Munster, everybody.

• 1:05:34Speaker 04

  Well, no, no, no, I don't care about the television itself, but like the whole cable and shift to digital thing. I think what Apple did with iTunes, they're gonna do with television in a similar way.

• 1:05:44Nilay Patel?

  I don't think they can do that.

• 1:05:45Speaker 04

  Okay, we'll see.

• 1:05:46Nilay Patel?

  I just, there's, the cable companies make, they still make, they have all of the money.

• 1:05:50Speaker 01

  Yep, they have too much power.

• 1:05:52Nilay Patel?

  They have all of the money.

• 1:05:53Speaker 01

  But like, as soon, the whole thing with HBO, with HBO Now.

• 1:05:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, that, that's the, that's the crack in the ice.

• 1:05:58Speaker 01

  I feel like that's the first step to something like really happening, because they got that.

• 1:06:03Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:06:03Speaker 01

  Exclusivity deal, even though it was only for three months, and even though Dish got it, it's like, they're doing things, and I don't know what to expect out of that going forward.

• 1:06:12Nilay Patel?

  That HBO Now thing is like HBO, HBO knows that it has tons and tons of people who don't sign up for Comcast or Time Warner or whatever.

• 1:06:21Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:06:21Nilay Patel?

  Right, but if you are NBC, or you're CBS, or you're Fox, and you broadcast sports, which is like the thing, like, that's billions of dollars, right? Those, those networks pay billions of dollars to get the NFL. They are not gonna just roll over for Apple.

• 1:06:40Speaker 04

  You know what? Alright, so, so the first iPhone did not launch with 3G, let alone LTE. I mean, there was no LTE back then. Look, we, we could, we could, we could get this Apple television with like, the premium channels minus sports, right? And like, I would probably buy into that because I don't watch too many sports on television. You, you get Netflix, you get HBO, and you get whoever else wants to buy into this now, and then that, like what Kwame said, I think the, the HBO, like rift right now of, of taking it away from cable exclusivity, and saying like, here guys, we can do this thing now.

• 1:07:19Nilay Patel?

  No, but that's a new market. I think, think about it this way, the people who are gonna sign up for HBO Now are not the people who would have otherwise signed up for Comcast. That makes no sense. They're the people who are otherwise using their HBO, their parents HBO Go logins.

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  It's me.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  Me.

• 1:07:33Nilay Patel?

  It's you, right? So it's, that's all new customers, right? But those people, you can't, they're not gonna take away from the old customers. And until you start taking away from Comcast customers, Comcast, which owns NBC, is not going to be incentivized to bring football to you, Apple. And like that,

• 1:07:52Speaker 04

  True.

• 1:07:52Nilay Patel?

  Every story about Apple and the TV right now comes down to them talking to Comcast and Comcast being like, no. Like, we will not do what you're saying. And like, until you, like, until something breaks that logjam, it's going to be incredibly

• 1:08:04Speaker 04

  I mean, I know it's tough and silly to compare the cable industry to the music industry, but Apple was able to uproot the music industry with iTunes. I don't see why they can't do that again, given that they are the richest company ever in history right now.

• 1:08:20Nilay Patel?

  Someone just tweeted the following fun fact at me. Fun fact, Family Matters switched over to CBS for its final season.

• 1:08:26Speaker 04

  And it was terrible.

• 1:08:27Nilay Patel?

  It ended with Urkel going to space. That is so dumb.

• 1:08:31Speaker 04

  That is so dumb. It was terrible, and he wound up, winded up with Laura. Wound up? And it was the terrible

• 1:08:38Nilay Patel?

  So you just straight ahead spoiled Family Matters on The Verge.

• 1:08:41Speaker 04

  Listen, that show is so old, it doesn't matter.

• 1:08:43Nilay Patel?

  All right, all right, all right. I think we're a little over time. We're done.

• 1:08:47Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:08:48Nilay Patel?

  Type check TGIF.

• 1:08:50Speaker 04

  Two?

• 1:08:51Nilay Patel?

  Wow.

• 1:08:52Speaker 04

  Two.

• 1:08:53Nilay Patel?

  I think that proves my theory that type check is a

• 1:08:55Speaker 04

  Broken.

• 1:08:56Nilay Patel?

  logarithmic over time.

• 1:08:57Speaker 04

  False. Oh, yeah. Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:08:59Nilay Patel?

  There's definitely a time function to the type check.

• 1:09:02Speaker 04

  What, what hashtag teens care about TGIF? That's my question.

• 1:09:05Speaker 02

  I mean, he's our teens expert after all.

• 1:09:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:08Nilay Patel?

  All right.

• 1:09:09Speaker 02

  Our teens correspondent.

• 1:09:10Nilay Patel?

  Sam, would you like to engage?

• 1:09:11Speaker 04

  I'll do the thing.

• 1:09:12Nilay Patel?

  Do the thing, buddy.

• 1:09:14Speaker 04

  So if you're listening to this live, you should absolutely check out the Snapchat story today. We are blessed with having Liz in the office, and we did a quick little science Snap story.

• 1:09:22Nilay Patel?

  Hashtag blessed.

• 1:09:23Speaker 04

  We did a science story with Liz. You should follow us on Snapchat anyway, because it is awesome and a lot of fun. We are The Real Verge on Snapchat. You should follow us on Twitter. We're like slowly nearing a million followers, and that will just be awesome to have.

• 1:09:37Nilay Patel?

  We want a million.

• 1:09:38Speaker 04

  We want a million.

• 1:09:39Nilay Patel?

  Here's what we'll do. Once we hit a million, to all your friends, we'll do a sick giveaway from the reviews closet.

• 1:09:43Speaker 04

  Done. Oh, man. Deal.

• 1:09:45Nilay Patel?

  We'll give away like 10 things.

• 1:09:47Speaker 04

  At once. So you should follow us on Twitter.

• 1:09:49Nilay Patel?

  And tell your friends.

• 1:09:51Speaker 04

  And tell your friends.

• 1:09:51Nilay Patel?

  And we'll give something to you.

• 1:09:53Speaker 04

  And, uh, and the last thing you should do. You should definitely go on youtube.com/theverge and watch the videos from this week. I'm not going to talk about it that hard, but we published a video on an electric Mustang and that ish is dope. It's sick. It's a 10 minute, like, film. It's not like a video, it is a film. Go watch it, youtube.com/theverge.

• 1:10:14Nilay Patel?

  You want a little backstory?

• 1:10:15Speaker 04

  Do it.

• 1:10:15Nilay Patel?

  We were editing that thing really late at night and I was, I told Jordan and Jimmy, like, you guys are, you know that you're just making Days of Thunder. And they were like, we've never seen it. And I literally stopped all production and we just watched the intro to Days of Thunder together because I was like, just get it. And they got it.

• 1:10:32Speaker 04

  The video is awesome.

• 1:10:33Nilay Patel?

  That's, that, by the way, in case you want to know how video edits to The Verge go, I walk in at the last minute and make you watch a Jerry Bruckheimer movie. I'm like, make that, then I leave.

• 1:10:42Speaker 04

  Good process.

• 1:10:42Speaker 02

  That's definitely how the Hangover video went.

• 1:10:44Nilay Patel?

  I was like, you guys are just making Top Gun. Liz was goose.

• 1:10:50Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:10:51Speaker 02

  That's harsh. That's harsh.

• 1:10:52Nilay Patel?

  You did the needle one. All right, Casey was goose.

• 1:10:55Speaker 04

  Danger zone.

• 1:10:56Nilay Patel?

  Casey was goose. I take it back, Casey's.

• 1:11:00Speaker 04

  I signed off already, by the way, so.

• 1:11:01Nilay Patel?

  Liz is mad. Are we done?

• 1:11:02Speaker 04

  I'm, I'm, I'm done with the sign off.

• 1:11:04Nilay Patel?

  There's, uh, whatever. Uh, I am, uh, reckless on Twitter.

• 1:11:08Speaker 01

  I am Kwame Opam on Twitter.

• 1:11:10Speaker 02

  I'm at Ms. Lopatto.

• 1:11:11Nilay Patel?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:11:12Speaker 04

  And, uh, that's what that is. And I'm Sam Shepard.

• 1:11:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, if, if you're going to troll me, you need to be polite.

• 1:11:17Nilay Patel?

  Wait, you didn't know that her first name was Melissa Beth?

• 1:11:20Speaker 04

  Okay, so I thought it was like some weird, I'm not, I'm not going to say it.

• 1:11:25Nilay Patel?

  All right, that's The Verge Cast. Thank you so much for listening. Uh, uh, we'll be back again next week. We're going to have Kwame on the show more often, I think. That's cool. Enjoy, enjoy these, the last days of winter.

• 1:11:36Speaker 04

  Beef.

• 1:11:37Speaker 02

  Don't eat any almonds.

• 1:11:38Speaker 04

  Spring is beef. Bye.

• 1:11:39Speaker 02

  Bye.