WE'RE DADA Ft. Hannah Berner | Episode 227

Finally, Hannah Berner is on the show this week! Drew and Hannah talk about why you should never settle for an awful boyfriend, leveling up after a breakup, giving men nicknames, ghostwriting texts for your friends, Hannah dominating tournaments on her high school men's tennis team, the rom-com moment she first saw her husband at a standup show, and so much more. Watch Hannah's new standup special, None of My Business, our now on Hulu!! Hannah IG: https://www.instagram.com/hannahberner/ Hannah Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hannah_berner Follow The Comment Section on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/thecommentsection/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Drew Afualo?

  Ugly people cheat too. Yeah, if you can believe, ugly people suck too.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  I would argue ugly men.

• 0:06Drew Afualo?

  Cheat a lot more.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Cheat a lot more.

• 0:07Drew Afualo?

  I've also said that. Yeah, I've also.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Really good looking men have seen enough tits. They're tired. By 35, they're like, I've seen them all. I'm good. I just want a cigarette and to relax.

• 0:25Drew Afualo?

  Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show. Sorry, me, your fave, everybody knows me, who cares about me. Onto the guest today, we have the iconic, the hilarious, the legendary Hannah Berner.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Oh, my god, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for having me.

• 0:41Drew Afualo?

  Oh, my god, I'm so happy to have you.

• 0:43Speaker 01

  We've literally met for three seconds.

• 0:45Drew Afualo?

  We have.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  But we were saying.

• 0:46Drew Afualo?

  And we've already kissed at least twice. Before the cameras came on.

• 0:50Speaker 01

  We went to third base.

• 0:51Drew Afualo?

  We were lighting it up.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  Bitch, it was crazy. I'll climb you like a tree.

• 0:55Drew Afualo?

  You won't have to climb that far, you're tall too.

• 0:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm 5'7". No, I was saying, in my friend group, I'm the tall one.

• 1:01Drew Afualo?

  You and me both, sister.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  I put girls in my pockets.

• 1:03Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  I carry their baggage for them.

• 1:05Drew Afualo?

  I'm dada, and you're dada.

• 1:07Speaker 01

  I'm daddy.

• 1:08Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, like when we go out, same.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  No, my bestie Paige, I'm her boyfriend.

• 1:13Drew Afualo?

  You're her man.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  I'm her man.

• 1:14Drew Afualo?

  You're her man.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  I'm her man. But no, I'm so excited to be here. You, um, I feel like we both are men's, like, sleep paralysis demons in different ways.

• 1:24Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, we're sandwiching them for real.

• 1:26Speaker 01

  So like, I just, artist to artist, I just want to say, I love your work.

• 1:30Drew Afualo?

  Lover of the game to lover of the game.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  Yo, all his life.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  And people express it in different ways, but I appreciate your hard work out there in the streets.

• 1:41Drew Afualo?

  Likewise, honestly, likewise. I think, honestly, I think that's why we feel spiritually connected.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think that's, we've, we've literally never spent time with each other.

• 1:49Drew Afualo?

  No, but it feels like we have.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  Also, you're close with Tiffy.

• 1:52Drew Afualo?

  Yes.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  I'm close with Tiffy, so when you text Tiffy, I feel like you texted me. Is that a thing? Where you're like, nah, we're gonna.

• 2:00Drew Afualo?

  No, we just recently exchanged numbers, so now we're for real. Now, when I text Taffy, I will text you for real.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  Um, I love a group chat, throw in a little, a little emoji, a little, a little gif.

• 2:10Drew Afualo?

  I love a little group chat, too.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:12Drew Afualo?

  I've been naming group chats a lot lately. I feel like this business is nothing but fucking emails and group chats. Like, that's all, I'm in two billion group chats.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  But I do have to say, like, we talk about stand-up comedy, we talk about great TikToks.

• 2:24Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  A good timed gif in a group chat, like, that's legendary.

• 2:29Drew Afualo?

  Right. When everyone's reacting to yours.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  When you're killing, and you know, and you know also when you have to be like, I gotta say this right now or someone else is gonna get ahead of it and we'll lose the moment. Also, when you change the group title without, like, warning people and it hits, girl.

• 2:46Drew Afualo?

  I stayed doing that, too, changing the names.

• 2:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:49Drew Afualo?

  I did that once when we were, we were in Ireland and, um, yes.

• 2:55Speaker 01

  What a trip.

• 2:55Drew Afualo?

  When we had left, we were like, uh, well, like, half of us had left already, some of us were still staying. And so we were out in a group chat, it was me, my sister, Caleb and Brittany. And so we were all texting in there and like, just like, super gushy stuff, like, I love you guys, like, the universe brings friends into your life, but you just, you know, you're getting real emo.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:14Drew Afualo?

  And so you're like, sending these in, in insanely heartfelt messages to each other and we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And my sister responded a little bit later, when we had already kind of started moving away from that and started being funny. But she was, we were still in the moment, so we were still reacting and stuff. But then it was just poorly timed, my sister sent like, a really heartfelt text and like, right above it, at the same time, I had changed the group name to something super awful and terrible and I can't say. Only because it won't make sense to you, and I don't want to have to explain the joke. But it was just like Caleb screenshot, and he was like, no perfect timing, Drew.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  But that's also range.

• 3:48Drew Afualo?

  I'm glad you changed the name.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  That's the range of a friend group. I love having like, the darkest talk, like, before I go on stage sometimes with my opener, I'll be like, so, then like, when did you feel like it was that moment in your life that you were like, do we, are we gonna make it? And then I'm like, go have fun out there.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  I'm not doing small. Small chat.

• 4:07Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 4:07Speaker 01

  But they're small chat. I'm like so in high school, like was the bullying like? How intense was it? Oh shit, you gotta go on stage. Go be funny. Bye bitch.

• 4:13Drew Afualo?

  They're like, hey, you're on in five, by the way. Honestly, okay, that's a perfect transition. Cause we want to talk about the new special. How exciting.

• 4:20Speaker 01

  Oh my god, thank you.

• 4:21Drew Afualo?

  Oh my god, second special.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 4:23Drew Afualo?

  Period. Look at you.

• 4:24Speaker 01

  Well, look.

• 4:24Drew Afualo?

  Cranking them out.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  After the first special, they were like, okay, you're gonna do a second special. And I'm like, that's such a, like, don't be so, like.

• 4:31Drew Afualo?

  Don't be stupid.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  It seems selfish. It seems like too much, like in this age of capital. I'm like, how much shit do we need? You need a whole nother. And it's also not like coming up with a new song. That's like three minutes. It's like a whole new fucking hour.

• 4:44Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  Um, I do think with stand up, I love being in a male dominated space. And I love taking up space.

• 4:52Drew Afualo?

  Too.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  And I love how people will be like, oh, like men, like women talk too much. And it's like, men have ESPN. Like, we all are talking a lot. Your podcast is short compared to male podcasts.

• 5:05Drew Afualo?

  Right, I'm telling you. And at least it's entertaining, shit. I've never heard a man talk for forty-five minutes straight and been intrigued.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  I do have to say the last per minute on your pod, like, should be studied. A hundred percent compared. Let me see the data on that.

• 5:17Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  Someone online figured that out.

• 5:18Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, someone get on it. The scientists get on it.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  The women in STEM get on that.

• 5:21Drew Afualo?

  And women specifically, please get on it.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Or gay in STEM. People's, why don't people say gay in STEM? Or gay guys? You guys are in STEM.

• 5:27Drew Afualo?

  I'm not sure.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 5:28Drew Afualo?

  We should ask. Let us know. If you're gay and in STEM, let us know.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  I don't want any, like, male surgeons who aren't gay, like, doing work on your body or your face.

• 5:38Drew Afualo?

  No, why would you?

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Cause men.

• 5:40Drew Afualo?

  That's how I feel about, um, male, uh, gynecologists. What's the matter with you?

• 5:44Speaker 01

  That's, that should be illegal.

• 5:45Drew Afualo?

  What's the matter with you? Yeah, also like, so you're a pervert?

• 5:48Speaker 01

  That means like.

• 5:48Drew Afualo?

  So you're a doctor pervert?

• 5:49Speaker 01

  You had a choice. You decided to be a pervert. Like, you're not even hiding that you're a pervert.

• 5:53Drew Afualo?

  Get a PhD in perv.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  You know what they're doing? They're almost.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  That's what PG stands for, perv.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  But you know what they'll do? They'll be like, you'll be like, you're a pervert for that. And they're like, you're a pervert for thinking I'm a pervert for that. Like, they try to turn on you.

• 6:10Drew Afualo?

  What are we, a Russian doll? Here we are. Fucking perv, perv, perv on perv.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  I, no, I've never had, and I'll do a male masseuse.

• 6:17Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  I'll go to second base, I don't care. But, I'm, no.

• 6:23Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  Absolutely not. And I know gay guys are not become, gay guys are not becoming gynecologists, because that's gross.

• 6:29Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  Straight men are being fucking weird.

• 6:31Drew Afualo?

  They're being weird, that's why I said, you're being perv. I know it. I know it to be true.

• 6:36Speaker 01

  That's why we have barely any research in it, because they don't work. They're just poking around.

• 6:42Drew Afualo?

  Okay, so, the special.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:44Drew Afualo?

  Back to the special. Now that we've gone over Dr. Perv, back to the special. Okay, tell, I would love to know, like, how you felt going into the special. After having done your first one, how did you feel going into this one?

• 6:54Speaker 01

  My first special, I was so nervous. My first special, I full on had like a out of body, like, every anxiety, panic attack. I always say, like, when you're trying to get to that next level in your life, the universe will be like, we're not letting you get there until you actually face those demons that you thought you overcame.

• 7:13Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  So it was scary, because, like, performing a film stand-up set, you gotta nail that.

• 7:21Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 7:21Speaker 01

  And it was like, early in my-

• 7:23Drew Afualo?

  Talk about one and done.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Because I love a live moment.

• 7:26Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 7:26Speaker 01

  The energy, the vibes. Oopsie poopsie, I messed up, ha, ha, ha, silly, silly.

• 7:29Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  But live, it's like, a lot of pressure, and I was a tennis player, and I dealt with like, a lot of pressure in my past.

• 7:36Drew Afualo?

  I know.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  And it's all you, like, when you fuck up, you go home and you have to look in the mirror and be like, you're a fucking loser.

• 7:42Drew Afualo?

  You're all, God, it's my team, and it's you.

• 7:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, team, you just blame the, the girl next to you. You're like, maybe you should have tried harder next time.

• 7:49Drew Afualo?

  You're a team of one.

• 7:49Speaker 01

  You're team, I'm a team of one. It's me fighting with myself, and I'm being like, why the fuck did you do that?

• 7:54Drew Afualo?

  And Hannah was a for real tennis player, period. I love an athletic bitch, period.

• 7:59Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, thank you. But also, I know, people make fun of me for like, talking about tennis, which I do talk about a lot. But it's like, what I did and what I know. And if I was a dude who played basketball, they'd be like, former basketball player, he played in high school.

• 8:12Drew Afualo?

  I don't know if you know this, but I did play basketball at one point in my life, so.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  But I am also that girl who's, who will talk about like, an injury I had in college, like a fuckboy. On a date, but maybe that's my feminism, like

• 8:23Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  Going up to men and making them hear about my college tennis career.

• 8:27Drew Afualo?

  Yes.

• 8:28Speaker 01

  It's like Taylor Swift playing guitar for Travis Kelce every night, like that's, that's what I've actually, I love that shit.

• 8:35Drew Afualo?

  You're gentrifying their space.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 8:36Drew Afualo?

  You're taking up their time.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  Girls need to start just playing bad guitar at night.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  I feel like this is the podcast where we could start those types of movements.

• 8:45Drew Afualo?

  Right, yeah. Start being annoying in any way.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  Really annoying.

• 8:48Drew Afualo?

  The way that they are, like I was like, it's, they are extremely annoying.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Learn.

• 8:52Drew Afualo?

  Many ways.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  Turn it on them.

• 8:55Drew Afualo?

  You have to Uno reverse it.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  Uno reverse that shit.

• 8:57Drew Afualo?

  So when you were building the hour for this new special?

• 9:00Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 9:01Drew Afualo?

  Like how did, how, did you find that to be like a little bit easier? Did it feel like less pressure this time when you were building the hour?

• 9:07Speaker 01

  At first I panicked.

• 9:08Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  Because what's annoying about standup is when you, it airs, it's called like, it's burnt. So that means I always, to do a sports analogy, it's like, it's like winning the Super Bowl. You got your Netflix special and then you have to start learning how to play football again.

• 9:25Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  So then you go to the club with no material and you're like, our Kinkle's funny. Like you start from scratch. And I was like, how am I gonna do a whole nother hour of jokes? But then you remember you weren't funny because of that specific wording of that specific joke.

• 9:41Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  At the end of the day, it was like your creative brain and who you are. So this hour, I actually feel like, I obviously improved as a standup, but I was like sillier, more myself.

• 9:52Drew Afualo?

  That's so nice.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  You know, like when you're with a friend group you fuck with, you start being like lucier, gooseier, you're like, I'm gonna go for a risk on this one and then it works, you're like, ah! Crazy! I can't restart. And there's, that's like the warmness that I want to bring to my specials where you're just like, everyone feels comfortable.

• 10:08Drew Afualo?

  Yeah. I think that's, that's really cool too. And I think it speaks to like you saying like, you're becoming more confident too, in your ability to be a standup and like move as one. I think that's fucking awesome that you felt more confident this time.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  Thank you. I also feel like standup has certain ways that you're like supposed to go about it.

• 10:25Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 10:26Speaker 01

  And I think if I had gone the very old school way as a woman, like I wouldn't have made it here.

• 10:32Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  And I think that the internet and TikTok and group chats is like where the girls are shining.

• 10:38Drew Afualo?

  For real.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  A lot of, I always talk about it, but there'd be more women in standup if, when you went to a Drunken bar at nine P M in the Bronx.

• 10:49Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  And no one laughed. A lot of hilarious women are like, maybe this isn't for me.

• 10:53Drew Afualo?

  No, for real.

• 10:55Speaker 01

  If you're honestly like just not a straight white man and you go into those spaces, something happens and you go, maybe I should go into accounting. Like that's what happens and I think.

• 11:05Drew Afualo?

  Cause they like refuse to laugh, even if it is funny.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, and it's it's from big things to little things that happen to you. So I feel like I'm excited for this new wave of comics. Based off of the internet. I mean memes are the girls and the gays.

• 11:18Drew Afualo?

  That's true.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  I mean, we are working creating.

• 11:21Drew Afualo?

  Everything funny and interesting has always been created by marginalized people. It's never, I've never in my life seen something created by a straight white man. And been like, that's fucking awesome. I have never in my life felt that way.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  Well, cause trauma.

• 11:33Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Like if you haven't had trauma, you're not funny. You're not interesting. You're not, you're not, I don't wanna hear from someone who doesn't, hasn't faced. Like really hard times and overcame it. And they overcame it by finding the light in the darkness, which is like corny as fuck, but like.

• 11:48Drew Afualo?

  But it's true.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  It's so true.

• 11:49Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 11:50Speaker 01

  And but that's why it's crazy. Like Netflix, like why are there no, like, why aren't there multiple gay guys?

• 11:55Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 11:56Speaker 01

  And gay girls on Netflix.

• 11:58Drew Afualo?

  For real.

• 11:58Speaker 01

  And I always say that the gay girls paved the way for me.

• 12:01Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  Because they don't give a fuck what men think.

• 12:04Drew Afualo?

  No, for real.

• 12:05Speaker 01

  So they walk in a room and they're not like, you know, do I look cute enough? Did he look at me weird? They don't give a fuck. They're just doing their art.

• 12:11Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, they're just, they're focusing on what they love, which is being funny.

• 12:15Speaker 01

  And that's why I think so many lesbians, like, yeah, they paved the way for the straight girls.

• 12:19Drew Afualo?

  Hell, yeah, absolutely.

• 12:21Speaker 01

  Even though I am lesbian passing.

• 12:22Drew Afualo?

  Right. You and me both.

• 12:26Drew Afualo?

  In that sense, yeah.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  Cause we could throw a ball.

• 12:28Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, well, yeah, I think it's, I, I also think it's just like the, uh, me giving dada, but that's also just like. I think I'm extremely straight looking and, and, and generally like energy, but I think it's also just because I'm so fucking mean to men.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  I was gonna say.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  You don't look scared.

• 12:45Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  You don't, and you're not afraid of a man not liking you.

• 12:48Drew Afualo?

  No, never.

• 12:49Speaker 01

  And that's power, right?

• 12:50Drew Afualo?

  I'm kinda hoping for it.

• 12:52Speaker 01

  Ooh, if a man likes you, talk to yourself about that. Check on that.

• 12:55Drew Afualo?

  Let's revisit that.

• 12:56Speaker 01

  Ooh, if a man gets good vibes from you, if he's like, there was something I liked about her, no.

• 13:01Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 13:02Speaker 01

  You wanna give off something like

• 13:03Drew Afualo?

  No, for real.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  She made me uncomfortable, that's

• 13:05Drew Afualo?

  Or if you like make a video and it's only men agreeing with you, you're like, oh my god, I'm on the wrong side of history. Oh no, I've made a terrible, terrible choice.

• 13:11Speaker 01

  I've had some female comics be like, how do you have only female fans? And I'm like, cuz that's who I'm talking to.

• 13:19Drew Afualo?

  For real.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  The men, the men know that it's not a welcome.

• 13:24Drew Afualo?

  They're probably not gonna enjoy it that much over here. Which like is how it should be.

• 13:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I think the boyfriends have started to come to the shows, which

• 13:33Drew Afualo?

  That's good.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  Is, it's a problem. It's not what I anticipated. It's not the energy I want. But I do like building tension in the room to like call each other, everyone out.

• 13:42Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 13:42Speaker 01

  And it's funny cuz I also think it's important, like I want the men to listen though. Cuz I have shit to say that I'm sliding in that is like important.

• 13:51Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, if you're gonna be here, take notes and be quiet.

• 13:53Speaker 01

  Yes, I always say my stand-up, the guys that showed up, this is probably the longest they've ever listened to a woman talk without interrupting.

• 14:02Drew Afualo?

  Right, and sometimes they'll still try.

• 14:06Speaker 01

  Oh my god, whenever a man even laughs too loud, I'm like, who's chaperoning him?

• 14:10Drew Afualo?

  So you're talking over women?

• 14:11Speaker 01

  No, let a woman speak for a second. Let a woman speak, we're five minutes in and you're already giving your opinion. Also, like, no one cares that you thought it was funny, let women laugh.

• 14:19Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I don't care that you thought it was funny.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  No, also it's giving performative, like, ooh, it's for women, like, shut the fuck up.

• 14:25Drew Afualo?

  That wasn't even a real laugh, I could fucking tell.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  You would die cuz at the end of my show, I would, your crowd work with men would be, cuz you're doing crowd work but just alone with yourself.

• 14:35Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, that's what Caleb told me.

• 14:38Speaker 01

  You're coming for them and you're like, I got the mic and you're not saying anything.

• 14:41Drew Afualo?

  Right, exactly.

• 14:42Speaker 01

  So at the end of every show, it was almost like research, I asked men if they ever thought about what sex feels like for a woman.

• 14:50Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  Let's just start with that. The answers, crazy. Like, that was a setup question, they literally be like, no. And I'm like, that was literally a setup question, how do I teach men empathy?

• 15:03Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 15:04Speaker 01

  On this theater show in one minute.

• 15:05Drew Afualo?

  And we don't have the time.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  And then I'd say, can you think of an adjective which is a describing word for what sex feels like for a woman? The answers I got.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  It's like, they've never walked this earth before.

• 15:20Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, for real, they woke up yesterday.

• 15:22Speaker 01

  One guy said, "Warm."

• 15:23Drew Afualo?

  Warm? Oh geez. Yeah, from sweating on top of me, you're right.

• 15:27Speaker 01

  And I'm like, "Nah, nah, nah, we're warm." You're not, we're warm.

• 15:31Drew Afualo?

  No, you feel warm, you're, once again, you're thinking about you.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  Yes, I've never been cold and been like, "If I had a dick in me, I'd be warm right now."

• 15:36Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  Sorry, Mom. And...

• 15:38Drew Afualo?

  God, I'm freezing, I wish someone was here.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  Freezing, I wish I had a... Dang.

• 15:41Drew Afualo?

  I mean, I wish I had penetration.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  No, if any, no. One, one other guy said, "Stabbing," I had to stop the show.

• 15:48Drew Afualo?

  Stab, right, okay, no, yeah, alright, well.

• 15:50Speaker 01

  Stabbing.

• 15:50Drew Afualo?

  Call the cops on him.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  They do all the like, you know, exciting, and I'm like, "Yeah, I've never finished sex and been like, exciting."

• 15:58Drew Afualo?

  That was so exciting.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  On my special, some guy said, "Teamwork," I said, "There's..."

• 16:02Drew Afualo?

  Teamwork? That's not even a descriptive word.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  So like...

• 16:06Drew Afualo?

  That's not an adjective.

• 16:07Speaker 01

  I've lost more faith in the male species since like, doing, I've, I've been in the rooms, Drew, I'm talking to the specimens.

• 16:16Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, you're getting ground, like, ground floor.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 16:19Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 16:19Speaker 01

  Boots on the ground, and it's not looking good. And then I'm looking at their girlfriend, I'm like, "This conversation in the car going home is gonna be a journey."

• 16:26Drew Afualo?

  Hey, hopefully you guys fight on the way home.

• 16:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, hopefully you work some stuff out. Cause I'm just speaking truths up here, I'm not doing crowd work, actually. I'm just nosy on stage, actually.

• 16:36Drew Afualo?

  Right, you have to be, you have a curious mind, that's important.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 16:40Drew Afualo?

  You're like, "Look at me, I'm multitasking, I'm entertaining and I'm also researching."

• 16:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I also can sense like, when a guy's gonna have a really bad answer.

• 16:47Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 16:47Speaker 01

  It's those little, when you do it so much, like, just the length of his sleeve even. Like, you know, it's like a little too long.

• 16:55Drew Afualo?

  A little too many wrinkles.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  A little too, a, a weird earring, that, it's like, "We're in Minnesota, what's going on?" Like, little new, a facial hair that's just not right.

• 17:06Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, it's a little off.

• 17:08Speaker 01

  And like, how they're sitting, I'm like, "He's scared."

• 17:10Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  I could smell fear. You would fucking lo-, oh my god, well, you've done live shows.

• 17:15Drew Afualo?

  I've done live shows, yeah, I've done, I've done stand-up twice, well, a couple, yeah, twice. And then I've done like, live comedy, like, with my sister when we go on tour and do podcasts, which is, I mean, obviously like you, I'm sure, very few men. I do an opening bit, though, every time we perform, where I'm like, "Is there anyone here, um, that has no idea who the fuck we are and came as a plus one?" Almost always they're men, and so always like, "Man, nice, shocker." Uh, but I'm like, "Okay, well, I hope you guys enjoy the show, um, you know, have a good time, laugh, and if you don't..." I have your money, so I actually don't give a fuck. I don't fucking care either way. I don't care.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  And that's feminism.

• 17:53Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, there you go.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, making them listen to you.

• 17:54Drew Afualo?

  Which reminds me, I love asking female comics, like, um, if you've ever been given notes on your sets. Like, that's like one of my favorite questions to ask, because it's always...

• 18:03Speaker 01

  Oh, all the time. And it's funny, from an athlete perspective, it's like being a tennis player and a guy like watching you hit and trying to give you notes. And I'm like, I'll literally whoop your ass right now.

• 18:12Drew Afualo?

  You know what? Stand right there, and I'm gonna hit the ball as hard as I can. How about that?

• 18:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, I actually first kind of wanted to be a sports broadcaster.

• 18:18Drew Afualo?

  Me too.

• 18:19Speaker 01

  Really?

• 18:19Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I did.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  Wait, me and you? Welcome back to Diego. Wait, I'm obsessed with us.

• 18:23Drew Afualo?

  We should take that gig that they gave Snoop Dogg and Kevin Hart, but they should give it to us. So we can commentate sports.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  That's literally my dream.

• 18:30Drew Afualo?

  Oh my god, okay, me manifesting.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  Wait, manifesting?

• 18:34Speaker 01

  I'm in LA, so suddenly I'm like, mama. Wait, I'm obsessed with that, because, yeah, I want to be a sports broadcaster, and I come from like a basketball family, and I love interviewing people, so I...

• 18:44Drew Afualo?

  Knicks fan? Are you excited about them?

• 18:47Speaker 01

  My dad cried last night. My dad hasn't shed a tear since 1999. He was crying on the phone.

• 18:52Drew Afualo?

  It's that running joke that like, if they win or lose, everyone get out, stay out of New York if you're not from there.

• 18:58Speaker 01

  My dad would literally disown me to smell Jalen Brunson, like... But it's, I, I come from like, my grandpa was a basketball coach in Brooklyn.

• 19:07Drew Afualo?

  Very cool.

• 19:08Speaker 01

  And, um, he was one of those literally guys that they make, they talk about in movies where he'd see like a tall guy on the street and be like, "You're making it to college, you're coming to high school." Like, crazy, like, just insane Brooklyn in the 70s, if you can imagine.

• 19:22Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 19:23Speaker 01

  So then, in college, I was like, I went to Wisconsin playing tennis, and I had to do a gig my last year, and I was like, I wanted...

• 19:28Drew Afualo?

  Are you guys Badgers?

• 19:29Speaker 01

  The Beagers. Go Beagers! And it was a little culture shock for me, but we learned, we grew, we had a lot of cheese. I learned I need lactate.

• 19:40Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  Which you love.

• 19:42Drew Afualo?

  Yes, I do. I'm very familiar with lactate.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  That's what we DM about.

• 19:45Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 19:46Speaker 01

  If you're wondering what's under the surface.

• 19:47Drew Afualo?

  That's true.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  I love me looking at the camera for that. So anyway, I, yeah, at Wisconsin, I started doing interviews and the men would come up to me before I had to go on camera and be like, "Do you know what a double double is?" And I had to look at them like, first of all, do you think I like accidentally fell in this and I'm just lying my way through like?

• 20:09Drew Afualo?

  Yes.

• 20:10Speaker 01

  Like, do you think that I'm just a girl who was given a microphone? I don't know what I'm doing. Why am I here? And I remember getting fucking angry.

• 20:18Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 20:18Speaker 01

  And the like, the constant, just like little.

• 20:21Drew Afualo?

  The assumptions.

• 20:22Speaker 01

  Assumptions that I don't know anything.

• 20:24Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  And then I, I had to move to like a small town to start if I wanted to do sports broadcasting and I was, I was like, I want to go back to New York City. And I ended up cold calling, blah, blah, blah. Long story short, it was because I felt like it was so sexist that I kind of was like, I'm not in the mood for this.

• 20:41Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 20:41Speaker 01

  And then I found myself in stand-up comedy, but I feel like that was when I was like stronger and ready to.

• 20:46Drew Afualo?

  Right, totally.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  I just love disrupting male spaces and that's like what I was put on this earth for.

• 20:50Drew Afualo?

  You're telling me, bitch.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  So anyway, that's why I love you. That's why I love you. But I feel like we do it in, um, in a way that's so tasteful.

• 21:00Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, and it's also really authentic to us. And it's weird, I didn't know, I didn't know that you started doing interviews and stuff in college, which is so interesting because that's what I did too. Like, so I grew up an athlete. So I played, I played soccer my whole life. So that was my main sport, but I tore my ACL in high, in high school. And so then.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  We're literally frat guys right now.

• 21:18Drew Afualo?

  In high school, I tore my ACL.

• 21:19Speaker 01

  I would've gone pro.

• 21:20Drew Afualo?

  I was gonna go pro. If it wasn't for my knee. But I, I really, when I tore everything in my knee, I for real thought to myself, okay, this isn't forever. So what do I want to do instead? And I, and I started thinking about what I wanted to do. So I wanted to work in sports and I was like, I wanted to do broadcasting. Literally on my, um, resume, like my, my reels and all that stuff, I wrote that I wanted to be the next Bob Costas because I'm, I came from a football family.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:42Drew Afualo?

  So everybody loved football. My dad loves basketball too.

• 21:44Speaker 01

  I just remember when he had a pink eye during the Olympics. Do you remember that?

• 21:46Drew Afualo?

  Yes.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  That's like the one thing I remember of Bob Costas. And the whole time, he had the biggest pink eye. You know CBS or whoever the fuck was like.

• 21:54Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 21:55Speaker 01

  This is happening. And he's getting paid like 400 million dollars.

• 21:58Drew Afualo?

  You better get the hell out there.

• 21:58Speaker 01

  But also, only a man, only a man could show up with a full pissing pink eye.

• 22:04Drew Afualo?

  And be this close to the camera.

• 22:06Speaker 01

  Pussy pink eye.

• 22:07Drew Afualo?

  Imagine, imagine.

• 22:10Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 22:11Drew Afualo?

  They would have put us in an eye patch. They'd say, "You're gross. Nobody wants to see it."

• 22:14Speaker 01

  But everyone was like, "Bob Costas is experienced."

• 22:17Drew Afualo?

  Okay.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  Looks like he's seen stuff. Anyway, I interrupt.

• 22:21Drew Afualo?

  But I experienced the same.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  You wanted to be Bob.

• 22:23Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I experienced the same thing. Interviewing in college, talking to athletes, like especially how interviewing them was also painful. I don't know if this is shocking to hear, but a lot of them are not very eloquent.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  Well, CTE is a real thing. It's very real. And I did, I joke, I did CTE charity all through college for free. I dated these men, I talked to these men, I did their homework. I helped them.

• 22:49Drew Afualo?

  You and me both.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  I told them what a major was. I literally, I helped them like get from place to place.

• 22:54Drew Afualo?

  Right, literally, I, and I remember one time I was interviewing someone, and he told me, which, I mean, I did end up dating this person, but that is neither here nor there. He, he literally told me, like, in an interview, while I was interviewing him, he was like, "You know, normally I get asked to do interviews because I'm, I'm one of the smartest guys on the team." And I'm like, "Oh, word? Yeah, for sure." As I'm like interviewing him and then through, I wish to this day I could remember what it was, but he made up a word. And it was one of those words, it was like, "Oh, what's the one where they..."

• 23:23Speaker 01

  So he's a visionary.

• 23:24Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, so it's one of those like conversated, like, you know, like conversated is not a word. It was something like that. And he made up a word, like, right after he said that to me. And I was like, "Yeah, okay, I'll fuck around with you for a couple more months and then you know."

• 23:37Speaker 01

  That's the thing.

• 23:38Drew Afualo?

  Then I'm done.

• 23:39Speaker 01

  You're like, "Okay, there's four more months left in that." My, I swear to God, my dude texted me the word "isn't." And he spelled it I-S-I-N-T.

• 23:50Drew Afualo?

  Is, okay.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  And I was like, "I have to speak up for women. Like, this is bigger than me." And I, he was, he literally, I responded, and he was like, "I'm tired from practice." And I was like, "You don't add a letter when you're tired. That's crazy behavior."

• 24:01Drew Afualo?

  That's not what that's called. That's called being stupid.

• 24:02Speaker 01

  He was getting concussed, like, he would see, like, colors, but he couldn't tell the coach, because then they'd take him out, and he couldn't go pro, whatever. So I'm just watching his brain just shriveling up. But he, that was a large man. That was a tall man. He would throw me around. I was like, "I'll stay with you. I'll keep going."

• 24:18Drew Afualo?

  And you know what? All right, I'll see it through.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  You know, every now and then feeling dainty. Girl.

• 24:26Drew Afualo?

  I've always been drawn to larger men, so I was a Jersey chaser, if you will, in college.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  But I would argue, you're not a Jersey chaser if you are an athlete.

• 24:35Drew Afualo?

  That's true. I mean, yeah, we're just running parallel.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 24:38Drew Afualo?

  At that point, we're pacing.

• 24:40Speaker 01

  Trying to have a division one child. Yeah, you talk about that, right?

• 24:44Drew Afualo?

  That's true.

• 24:44Speaker 01

  Dude, if I-

• 24:45Drew Afualo?

  I pitched that to Caleb, because I don't want kids personally.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 24:48Drew Afualo?

  But I've told Caleb, I was like, I mean, obviously, I don't want to ever be pregnant, but like, if you put, if my egg mixed with his sperm in my body-

• 24:56Speaker 01

  Holy Olympian.

• 24:56Drew Afualo?

  D1.

• 24:57Speaker 01

  Olympian.

• 24:58Drew Afualo?

  And he was like, well, now I'm gonna have to consider.

• 25:02Drew Afualo?

  Because he loves football. Which I was like, you know what?

• 25:05Speaker 01

  And look-

• 25:05Drew Afualo?

  Listen.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  But it's true, if I was a large man in college and I saw you.

• 25:11Speaker 01

  Start humping your leg, I'd be like Nike sponsorship, out of the womb. But also, your poor pussy, like-

• 25:18Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 25:19Speaker 01

  That baby would be fucking huge.

• 25:20Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, no way. That's why even my, my man, like, now is like, he's 6'4", so he's a big dude, and like, if, like, we, he was like a 11 or 12 pound baby. And I was like a ni- I was a 9 pound, almost 10 pound baby.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  I feel like that's a good, I should talk about that more often, like, how much did you weigh when you came out of the womb? Is that allowed? They're like, let's stop talking about babies' bodies. Let's stop shaming babies' bodies. I go, you were 9, oh, interesting.

• 25:46Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I know, I was a big ass fucking baby.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  Wow, I don't know how much I was.

• 25:50Drew Afualo?

  And my brother was born ap- who was the last baby my mom had, he was almost 11 pounds. Because my dad's a huge dude, so it's like-

• 25:56Speaker 01

  Holy shit.

• 25:57Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, it's not in the stars for me. Worked out that I don't want kids, because holy fuck. You know what I mean? Oh, Jesus Christ, can't do it.

• 26:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, you don't even have to pee, it would just fall out whenever. Drink water, it'd go right through you.

• 26:09Drew Afualo?

  Right, for real, just doosh, right out my fucking pussy.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  No, vaginas are very powerful, and they adapt.

• 26:14Drew Afualo?

  That is, that's true, literally.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  Well, that's why I don't understand why men call women loose, cuz I'm like, so a girl who's getting, hooking up with her boyfriend, do you hook up with your boyfriend? A girl who's having sex with her boyfriend every single day for three years.

• 26:28Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 26:29Speaker 01

  Is tighter than a girl who has sex with a different guy every month cuz she's single? The math is a math.

• 26:34Drew Afualo?

  He's like, you don't get it, I'm doctor pervert, you don't understand. I went to school for this shit, okay? So, listen to me, how's that, dummy?

• 26:41Speaker 01

  The footage of a, a gynecologist's, like, teaching room, just full of a bunch of dudes, like, talking, and they, and they all still don't know what a clit is. Crazy, just skip the clip part.

• 26:52Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I was like, you studied the whole inside, huh? Didn't figure out the outside? Nice. Well, what's the worst piece of advice you've ever been given on a, on like jokes, or like, one of the most memorable times someone gave you?

• 27:02Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, guys, giving me notes and stuff. I actually have a joke that made it on my Hulu special, where I, I joke about, like, I'm a reality TV six, I'm a stand-up comedy seventeen, and like, I had a bit. I joke about how, um, stand-up comedians are kinda like serial killers, that we don't have to be that good-looking, to be considered ridiculously good-looking, and I make fun of, like, our Ted Bundy's not that hot, and like, whatever. And I was working on that joke, and a guy pulled me aside, he was like, you know, it's kinda hack to like, to do like, oh, I'm a,

• 27:34Speaker 01

  you know, LA six, or whatever, and I was like, yeah, that wasn't the bit I was, I was doing.

• 27:38Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  But, then part of me, this is so sad, a lot of the time, like, guys will watch other guys, like, at the club when there's a show, and then when a girl goes on stage, all the guys just leave.

• 27:49Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 27:49Speaker 01

  Like, they don't even wanna watch it.

• 27:51Drew Afualo?

  Of course not, yeah.

• 27:51Speaker 01

  So then I was like, well, thank you for listening, I love attention, no matter what.

• 27:55Drew Afualo?

  Wait, so you stayed for my set?

• 27:57Speaker 01

  You stayed for my set, I'm obsessed with that.

• 27:59Drew Afualo?

  Someone's a fan.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  But I also, like, in comedy, I, I, cuz it was like my second, third career, I didn't have a huge ego, like, it didn't define me, and I just, like, tried to learn from the people around me, and then, like, when I could sense that it was just like, there you go, I was, I would just be kinda like, thank you, I appreciate your work, I love your, I love, thank you for your time.

• 28:21Drew Afualo?

  When I talked to Mary Beth once, she was like, oh yeah, one time I left the club, and he followed me out, and was like, giving me notes on my set.

• 28:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:27Drew Afualo?

  As I'm walking out, and he was like, why aren't you writing this down? She said, she was, yeah.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  Writing this down, was this homework?

• 28:33Drew Afualo?

  That's why she literally went, why would I do that?

• 28:36Speaker 01

  No.

• 28:37Drew Afualo?

  I'm not entertaining, you're just talking at me, I didn't ask, like you're just kinda following me and saying words on, I haven't been listening the whole time you've been talking, so.

• 28:44Speaker 01

  It's so, it's so funny. I do think also, yeah, commanding a room, I guess is a like masculine quality, but I think women are the leaders.

• 28:54Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  Like, we're the leaders in every family.

• 28:56Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I disagree, I think commanding a room is just when you're it, like when you have it.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  True.

• 29:02Drew Afualo?

  Right, so it's like, it's so, it's so specific to people who like just have it. The ability to capture an audience, right, is, is an inherent trait to some people and a real struggle to others.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  Well, it's funny, people do, they get very impressed with stand-up cuz it's like a big fear for a lot of people and they'll be like, how do you do it? And I'm like, my brain's just weird, we're like, I'm scared to drive, but like I can talk in front of 2,000 people and that's my, that's my journey in this life. Like, I just got my driver's license.

• 29:30Drew Afualo?

  That was gifted to me.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, for some reason, something's twisted where I'm like, this is safe.

• 29:33Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 29:34Speaker 01

  This is safe, but like me trying to drive 10 miles per hour, I'm like, something bad's gonna happen!

• 29:39Drew Afualo?

  That's right, I know you're a notorious not-driver, don't like to drive.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  Well, I'm a, I'm a city girl, you know, sub, I love a subway, I'm a New Yorker.

• 29:47Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 29:48Speaker 01

  Which, I try to make it like it's a cool thing, but at some point, my mom was like, it would be nice, like, if something happened to someone that you could get in a car and drive them somewhere.

• 29:55Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, you should probably have that general skill.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, so that's, I, I, all last summer, that was my goal, to get my driver's license. And I was like, I had a therapist about it, like, it was intense.

• 30:06Drew Afualo?

  Oh.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  But, cuz I literally was like writing, like, I'm gonna pass my driver's test, cuz it got kinda mental for me.

• 30:13Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, totally.

• 30:14Speaker 01

  Also, like, having a man judging a woman driving, that feels sexist.

• 30:18Drew Afualo?

  So misogynist.

• 30:19Speaker 01

  No, it's literally setting me up for failure.

• 30:20Drew Afualo?

  Misogyny is alive and well at the DMV, I see.

• 30:23Speaker 01

  I also, I do, I would love to see the stats, I think they're harder on the female drivers.

• 30:26Drew Afualo?

  Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure they fucking are.

• 30:29Speaker 01

  And, so I try, I also try to come in, like, kinda like... I didn't want to dress too cute, like I was really like, you know, I was going for an audition.

• 30:37Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 30:37Speaker 01

  Like I was like, this is, I came with a blazer. I was like, I'm a serious driver.

• 30:41Drew Afualo?

  Business professional driver.

• 30:42Speaker 01

  Yes, but my hair back, my hair back and no makeup and.

• 30:47Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 30:47Speaker 01

  But I passed it. I passed it. But you know, they don't tell you anymore at the moment if you pass it because there were physical altercations happening.

• 30:56Drew Afualo?

  Really?

• 30:57Speaker 01

  Which is fucking, because people, they'd be like, you didn't pass and they'd get into like huge fights.

• 31:00Drew Afualo?

  Immediately swing on them. That's crazy.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  The DMV is iconic.

• 31:04Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, even when I, I remember when I got my license, it was at the DMV right by my, in my hometown and there was like, you know, like kids from my high school were all getting their driver's licenses and stuff and there was a known like instructor there that would fail everybody. And so my first morning, I was like the, one of the first appointments, I was so nervous and he like walked up to my car because you need to like pull up and I, he walked up to my car and he was, and I was like, of course I fucking get this guy. Of course I do. And then he came to my window and he like said a name that was not my name and I was like, oh no, that's not me. And he was like, oh, and he went to the car behind me and then I got a different guy.

• 31:43Speaker 01

  The universe came in.

• 31:44Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I got so lucky.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  God, literally it was like, not today.

• 31:46Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, and they were like, she needs it. She needs the win.

• 31:49Speaker 01

  But it's, for to have someone watching you, it's like, it's like, have you ever like typed in front of someone? Like you just forget how to do it.

• 31:57Drew Afualo?

  Or when you're like trying to find something to show someone that's funny and it's taking too long and you're like just free, I swear it's, forget it, it's fine.

• 32:03Speaker 01

  How come every photo in your phone that you've ever had to show someone is never there?

• 32:07Drew Afualo?

  Right when I'm trying to show them. It's like the climax of my story.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  Also fuck all these DMV people that get off on failing kids. I mean, look, most of these teen people shouldn't be driving.

• 32:17Drew Afualo?

  Of course, I, yeah, I was in my thirties when I went, but still.

• 32:20Speaker 01

  You too.

• 32:21Drew Afualo?

  No, I wasn't.

• 32:24Speaker 01

  I was like, look at us together and you go, babe, we're not in a.

• 32:28Drew Afualo?

  I got mine late for a teen. I, I got mine when I was seventeen. I think about to be eighteen, so that's when I got mine.

• 32:34Speaker 01

  Keep bragging. Oh yeah, I was, I was a sturdy thirty, I was a late thirty-two. I was late into my early thirties.

• 32:44Speaker 01

  Maybe he just felt bad for me. I did pass, but I haven't really driven since because I don't have to.

• 32:48Drew Afualo?

  It's okay. All you had to do was conquer the feat.

• 32:50Speaker 01

  I have a husband, like that's called a driver.

• 32:53Drew Afualo?

  Oh yeah, my man drives too. He prefers to drive, which I, which I am like, awesome, because I don't want to drive.

• 32:58Speaker 01

  I love empowering them in ways that they feel like, that's perfect.

• 33:01Drew Afualo?

  Useful.

• 33:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, because I actually don't fuck with directions because I'm a creative. So I let him like, show me where it is. And like, I don't want to be involved in logistics. Like, that's not my purpose on this planet.

• 33:12Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, no, no, no.

• 33:13Speaker 01

  To get under paperwork and stuff.

• 33:14Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, no, thank you.

• 33:15Speaker 01

  It's so funny how we both have a mans that we, he's there.

• 33:19Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, he's just kind of there, you know?

• 33:20Speaker 01

  And honestly, if you find a man that adds value to your life,

• 33:24Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  Not to fully red pill this pod, but if he adds value, perfect. Why would you keep a guy that doesn't bring value?

• 33:32Drew Afualo?

  I agree.

• 33:32Speaker 01

  If he's smart and he believes in you and you can bounce stuff off, off him.

• 33:36Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 33:36Speaker 01

  And he doesn't have a CTE.

• 33:38Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 33:39Speaker 01

  Then keep him around. If he makes you feel like you want to be around him.

• 33:43Drew Afualo?

  Right. I, well, and I'm sure you get this question a lot too, because, because of that, which like I do, but I get a lot of people asking me or him, if they ever meet him, like, how like, almost like how he's able to be with me, like, and not feel like weird. And it's, a lot of times it's coming from women and it's, it's in earnest. It's very like, did you have to do something to kind of get there? Um, like so, one of, one of my friends asked him once, um, and he was like, I mean, no, I didn't have to like work to get there because like all of the things you're describing are reasons why I, I was drawn to her. So like, it would be crazy for me to be with her and then want to get rid of it.

• 34:21Speaker 01

  No, I want to cry.

• 34:25Drew Afualo?

  It's very like, to him, it's very simple. He's like, no, I, like, I would be crazy to think that other people wouldn't love her for the reasons I love her. Like, obviously I love her. Like, he's like, it makes sense that so many people love her because I do. Like, it's the same thing.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  Well, it's interesting because that's layered, like. Him liking you despite like you being so vocal about hating men.

• 34:46Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 34:46Speaker 01

  People get confused about that and I'm like, cause he knows he's not the man I'm making fun of.

• 34:51Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 34:51Speaker 01

  Cause guess who's also making fun of the kind of men I make fun of? Him.

• 34:54Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  He's on my side being like, I can't stand that, I can't stand that. And it is fun to feel like you have like, um, a spy. What are, what are the men talking, what, like, how did we get here? And my husband, like, he's this like, big, white, gray haired dude, like, he looks MAGA. Like, he, he's so funny, people go to his comedy shows thinking they're gonna get some kind, and he just turns it on them. And I kinda feel like that's beautiful too, for him to be able to bring in all kinds of people and trick them into listening to him.

• 35:27Drew Afualo?

  Absolutely, because sometimes they will only hear it from people who look like that.

• 35:30Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 35:31Drew Afualo?

  So that's why they're imperative too.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  And sometimes I like having those conversations with him to be like, why are men doing this? Why do you think this is happening and where do you think we're misunderstood? But that's where I started, that like, I had this hand on the street series with male comics.

• 35:45Drew Afualo?

  Yes.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  Where I was like, they were comfortable with me, which is why I could push it. I don't wanna like, get anyone in trouble or like, have anyone lose their job. You're like, that would be fun though, but like, it's more I wanted the guys, I would ask them stuff about women. And sometimes it became very like, eye opening.

• 36:03Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 36:04Speaker 01

  And it was good to have those conversations with them.

• 36:06Drew Afualo?

  Right, I, I, I've talked to about like, obviously I joke about hating men all the time and I talk about how like, they start guilty and then they have to prove themselves innocent in my eyes, which I think is a very fair way to move and like, I've like gotten, like, out of my way almost to like, explain, not for men, but for women specifically, who get afraid of vocalizing those feelings, that like, it's a form of protection which I think we've earned, right? Like, women have been violated in more ways than you could ever imagine for thousands of years. If, if anything, what I'm doing, what you're doing, I always say is like, tip of the fucking iceberg. Like, you guys are lucky that I was only born recently. You know what I'm saying? Like, imagine if I was born hundreds of years ago, like, bitch, I would've been lighting that shit up, like.

• 36:51Drew Afualo?

  That's what I'm saying, like in every

• 36:52Speaker 01

  There's laws now.

• 36:53Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, every reincarnation of me bitch is antagonizing men because they can't help but violate women. So it's like, it's one of those things where I'm like, you can feel safe to vocalize how you feel. Because that is the only reason women even have rights today is because of women like that. Women, women who refuse to be quiet about it. Is the only reason you and I are able to talk about it, let alone make money off of it. And that's why I laugh when they say things like, oh, she's like profiting off of women's misery.

• 37:20Speaker 01

  What?

• 37:21Drew Afualo?

  I am extorting someone for sure for money and I can promise you it's not women who love me. It's awful men who can't shut the fuck up. Like I am literally using and abusing your stupidity. To build an empire. Like I stand on the shoulders of men who hate me. Like, and my bestselling book is purely because men are so fucking awful. Women are now like, I'm gonna buy a book and I'm gonna learn how to fucking de-center them. I'm gonna do that.

• 37:45Speaker 01

  We all see it, but you fucking verbalize it. You put it into fucking a thesis, hypothesis, a conclusion. You fucking write it out. You, every time I think you're done, you're like, and another thing.

• 37:56Drew Afualo?

  And I've also said too, I'm like, you guys think you need me to make women hate you? Girl, you, you, that PR is all your own. Like, what are you talking about bitch? Like, they really think, they're like, you're convincing women to hate men, bitch, please. I was like, you wanna hate men, just spend a couple minutes with one. Hang out with one for about 10 minutes, you'll find a, a couple reasons.

• 38:17Speaker 01

  Start from the beginning. Some of these men hate us.

• 38:21Drew Afualo?

  Right, yeah.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  There's so many women, like you're in a relationship and then one day you're like, I don't love him because he hates me. Like I, this problem, but like our podcast, so many girls are like, hey, thank you so much. I finally broke up with my boyfriend. Like, we're getting girls to like, just

• 38:39Drew Afualo?

  Same. Oh, I'm a home wrecker bitch.

• 38:44Speaker 01

  I'm like,

• 38:44Drew Afualo?

  I'm wrecking that home.

• 38:46Speaker 01

  Divorce, I always say congratulations.

• 38:48Drew Afualo?

  Me too.

• 38:48Speaker 01

  What am I gonna be like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, whatever you were in, you had the balls to get out of there to find something better. Cause life is too short to stay with the wrong dude.

• 38:56Drew Afualo?

  I agree. And just because you spent 10 years with one, doesn't mean you have to spend the next 30.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  A hundred percent. Cause we all evolve. Also, some of these men, they are fun in the beginning. And they are convincing in the beginning.

• 39:06Drew Afualo?

  Right, yeah.

• 39:06Speaker 01

  They are tall in the beginning. And they have a funny accent in the beginning. And they, their perfume smells good in the beginning, but guess what, you're not into him, you're into the specific perfume that he's wearing. I'm calling it perfume because that's funny.

• 39:21Drew Afualo?

  Cause they hate that.

• 39:22Speaker 01

  They hate that. But yeah, people also will, even like my mom's friends will ask like if my husb- how he's handling like that I'm, I don't know, doing stuff, like that I'm doing well.

• 39:32Drew Afualo?

  You're being so hilarious for a living. How do you feel about that, having a funny woman for a wife?

• 39:36Speaker 01

  And he's a comedian himself.

• 39:38Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 39:39Speaker 01

  So like, but his thing is like, he's had a great career.

• 39:42Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 39:43Speaker 01

  He's an older guy that has seen a lot of shit and he's loves being able to sit back and like watch me do what I do. And he, he calls me his pension pussy, like he loves it.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  And I also, I've always just been looking for a partner.

• 40:01Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 40:01Speaker 01

  I'm not looking for someone, like I, I just wanna be me and if you wanna be in my life with me, that's great. I also think, cause we, I met him in my thirties, he met me later in life, we're two individuals that just like fuck with each other. We don't complete each other.

• 40:17Drew Afualo?

  Right, exactly, yeah.

• 40:19Speaker 01

  I don't, if something were to happen, we'd both be okay.

• 40:21Drew Afualo?

  Right, absolutely.

• 40:22Speaker 01

  And I think that's what's actually so fucking romantic about it, is that we don't need each other.

• 40:26Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, and it's like a choice at that point, right? Like you're choosing each other, cause you don't need each other.

• 40:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're not, there's not a trauma.

• 40:32Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, absolutely. And it's not a like obligatory thing, it's not like, oh, I feel like I have to be in a relationship, or feel like I have to stay with this person. And it's like, it's a choice. Like you're like, I choose to be with this person because they make me happy and they like uplift me and amplify me. Like even um, with my man too, it's been very like, he like loves ev- everything that is so like obvious about me and a lot about me. Like I always say, and I say a lot, not in a derogatory way, it just is like, I am a big personality to be with, like, yeah, I'm, I'm loud mama for real.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  I just hear entertaining, but continue.

• 41:06Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, that's why I was like, I, I am, I am all of that, but it's like, it's one of those where it's like, everything that I am, it's worth it. It's hard to be with me, but it's worth it, I'll tell you that much.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  But also like, when you can laugh with your partner.

• 41:17Drew Afualo?

  Girl, you're telling me.

• 41:19Speaker 01

  Who cares if you're crying? We're now we're laughing, we're having fun.

• 41:22Drew Afualo?

  I even like, uh, I've asked him before, I'm like, who do you think's funnier between the two of us?

• 41:27Drew Afualo?

  Who do you think? And then he was like, well, you, obviously. And then I was like, period, that's the right answer.

• 41:32Speaker 01

  And he's beautiful.

• 41:34Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  Not to be, you know. Talking about your man, but that I can respect.

• 41:39Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, no, he is.

• 41:40Speaker 01

  Beautiful looking man.

• 41:40Drew Afualo?

  Yes.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  Cause if he's gonna be around, at least make it beautiful to look at.

• 41:43Drew Afualo?

  That's what I'm saying. I'm like, believe it or not, ugly people cheat too. Yeah, if you can believe, ugly people suck too.

• 41:49Speaker 01

  I would argue ugly men.

• 41:51Drew Afualo?

  Cheat a lot more.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  Cheat a lot more.

• 41:53Drew Afualo?

  I've also said that. Yeah, I've also.

• 41:55Speaker 01

  Really good looking men have seen enough tits. They're tired. By thirty-five, they're like, I've seen them all, I'm good. I just want a cigarette and to relax. Where these fucking guys, these fucking guys who have been bullied their whole life and never talked to women, who hate women, the second they get attention, they, they start doing insane things.

• 42:12Drew Afualo?

  They start losing their minds.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  For girls who are single, listening, my advice just also with men is like, really don't settle.

• 42:20Drew Afualo?

  I agree.

• 42:21Speaker 01

  They say the happiest girls are the ones who aren't with a guy.

• 42:26Drew Afualo?

  That's true.

• 42:26Speaker 01

  Or they're in a happy relationship.

• 42:28Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  And one thing, shout out to my mom, she was so good at like, getting me out of, she would hold my hand and get me out of relationships when she saw. Cause she was just like, life is too short.

• 42:38Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 42:38Speaker 01

  And it takes one person to be like, oh, I fuck with that person.

• 42:41Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  But if you're stuck with ding dong.

• 42:43Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 42:44Speaker 01

  I've never said that in my word, but in my life. If you're stuck with a ding dong. I don't care how comfortable it is, get, get your stuff and leave. I don't care if your CDs are in his car.

• 42:54Drew Afualo?

  For real. Well, it's, like I said, like you said, it's, your life is way too fucking short. And at this point, like, women did not fight for as much as we have now, and as little as we have now, there's still a long way to go. Women did not fight for all that, for you to settle for a fucking loser. Like, I was like, I'd ra, you, you should rather be alone, which is what I've always said. I'm like, that, that was something I made peace with. Right before, I think like, actually for real accepted, right before I met my man now. But I was like, you know what, that's okay, because I am not unhappy. Like, my, my life is amazing and awesome, and I, and I'm surrounded by love, and I'm deeply loved by many people.

• 43:32Drew Afualo?

  Family, friends, women. I was like, women's love is like, irreplaceable, in my opinion. Like, you could live without a man loving you, but you could never live without a woman loving you. And I really do believe that to be true, like without men, you're like, eh, whatever. But like with women, it's like, oh my God, what a void life.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  It's like when a woman compliments you versus a man.

• 43:51Drew Afualo?

  Right. It's like it means something.

• 43:52Speaker 01

  If a woman compliments me on the street, I'll cry. Like, I'll literally be like, I'm pretty good at it.

• 43:57Drew Afualo?

  In fact, take it. You want it here. You like it here, take it.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  It's a coupon. It's a coupon. Let's go shopping together. I also feel like relationships are mirrors. So if your guy sucks, you're seeing yourself through his fucked up lens.

• 44:11Drew Afualo?

  That's true.

• 44:12Speaker 01

  And that's why sometimes your girlfriends, when they're in a bad relationship, I'm like, you're a shell of yourself. Like, you're not yourself.

• 44:17Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 44:18Speaker 01

  So it's super important. Also, when you get out of a relationship, that's my level up time. I'm always, I feel like relationships are like a corporate job. Every time I leave one, I'm getting a better one. Like, you see, you're just moving up the ladder. And these girls, when we break up, we're doing Duolingo. We're learning Japanese. We're starting like a certification and what a certification.

• 44:40Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, we're starting a nonprofit.

• 44:42Speaker 01

  I sound like your ex-boyfriend certification. That's crazy. So I'm really smart. But yeah, these girls, they get, they like, they, they start doing their makeup, even countier. Like, every time a girl gets a breakup, I'm like, she's on a Pokemon on the next level.

• 44:55Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, she's evolving.

• 44:57Speaker 01

  Evolving.

• 44:57Drew Afualo?

  Oh my God, when she emerges.

• 44:58Speaker 01

  I love a breakup. Too bad I'm fucking married and it's more complicated, but breakups are so beautiful.

• 45:03Drew Afualo?

  My favorite part of breakups is like when your friend gets to a point where you can talk shit. And you're, oh, that's the, oh, oh my God, oh my God. I'm like, I've had 12 banger jokes that I have not been able to fire off. Oh my God, I'm so glad you hate him now. I'm so glad you hate him now. Let's talk about it.

• 45:20Speaker 01

  But you have to wait for her to say it first. You have to wait.

• 45:23Drew Afualo?

  Oh my God, the way I hear like, it feels like when you play Mario Kart and then it's like the noise that plays when the, the, the traffic lights going.

• 45:30Speaker 01

  It's so niche.

• 45:31Drew Afualo?

  That's how I feel. I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, this is my, my time has come. My time has come.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  And then you're starting to send like photos of him, making fun of him after, like, it just. It's beautiful.

• 45:41Drew Afualo?

  I know, one time we were, we were on, when we were on tour, uh, we were all like, delirious and, and sitting up and late at night, and we were all talking, and, um, my friend Carrie, right over there, she had brought up an ex and we were all like, doing a competition to see, to bring up what we thought he looked like better. And I was like, this is my bread and butter. You have no, I am so good at comparisons, you guys are fighting for second. And I literally was like, let me go last. I literally told him, I was like, I wanna go last.

• 46:09Speaker 01

  You're like, I'm the closer.

• 46:10Drew Afualo?

  I was like, try, I already had it. Like, the mini, you showed me a pic, I had one, I had one immediately. And then, and then mine killed and I did win, so.

• 46:17Speaker 01

  Well, that's why girls are creative directors. I always say like, the, when you meet a guy and they come up with the funny nicknames.

• 46:24Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 46:24Speaker 01

  I love when girls are married and they still have his nickname in the phone.

• 46:27Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 46:28Speaker 01

  And also like, as the friend of the girl with the guy, like, I'm, we're sticking with the nickname.

• 46:33Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I love that. When they have monikers, like, we had, in my college girlfriends, uh, who I'm still friends with to this day, like, there was multiple of them at one point, we're talking to a, a Chris. So then we had to start like, adding stuff in front of their names.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  Well, every man's name is Chris.

• 46:47Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, right, that's true.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  So that was not even your fault.

• 46:49Drew Afualo?

  Every man ever's name is Chris.

• 46:50Speaker 01

  Every man that's ever.

• 46:53Speaker 01

  Also, C H, that's, what do they think they are? Are they French? Like, Chris? Like, what the fu- like, what?

• 46:58Drew Afualo?

  I'm annoyed.

• 46:59Speaker 01

  I'm annoyed.

• 47:00Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, they, uh, we had one that was dick pic Chris, because he always sent dick pics like, at least three times a week.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:06Drew Afualo?

  To one of my girlfriends. And then we had motorcycle Chris, cause there was one that had a motorcycle.

• 47:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:09Drew Afualo?

  And there was one with a boat. So we were like, boat, Chris.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  That's important to decipher.

• 47:13Drew Afualo?

  And he was the best one. He was number one for us.

• 47:14Speaker 01

  That's important. Also, it could be like, something very, very subtle, like, this guy played golf once, and we played, we called him caddy daddy, and like, he doesn't even play golf. But like, whatever you need to do to make sure you're texting the right one.

• 47:26Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 47:26Speaker 01

  At the right time.

• 47:27Drew Afualo?

  You have to label them.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  To show up and the wrong Chris is there.

• 47:30Drew Afualo?

  Everybody has to wear name tags, so, until everyone learns.

• 47:33Speaker 01

  But you know, what's crazy about tour is men's names in, um, the south.

• 47:39Drew Afualo?

  What's going on down there? Lots of X's.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 47:42Drew Afualo?

  Braxton. Like Dixon, like.

• 47:47Speaker 01

  And then the like Cypress's. But that's a place in Greece. You're like, that's just a country.

• 47:56Speaker 01

  I'm like, Italy.

• 47:57Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, for real.

• 47:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it's, they, yeah, it's um, hard to take and see your, and then they do side, have you seen like, they do their head at the side?

• 48:06Drew Afualo?

  What does that mean?

• 48:07Speaker 01

  They have like a side bang.

• 48:09Drew Afualo?

  Oh my god.

• 48:10Speaker 01

  They do, but they enable each other. It's like an echo chamber in the south.

• 48:13Drew Afualo?

  Do they do it like under the hat too? Like?

• 48:15Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 48:15Drew Afualo?

  All pressed against the forehead?

• 48:17Speaker 01

  And then they put sunglasses on top of the hat.

• 48:18Drew Afualo?

  Oh man.

• 48:19Speaker 01

  And they're like, perfect. Let's go out here.

• 48:22Drew Afualo?

  Red as fuck, by the way.

• 48:24Speaker 01

  Branley.

• 48:25Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  It's like all different kinds of Bradley.

• 48:27Drew Afualo?

  Or like syllables like Bo.

• 48:29Speaker 01

  That's a cough.

• 48:32Drew Afualo?

  Those are just noises.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, weh.

• 48:33Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 48:34Speaker 01

  Wyatt, Wyatt? When I first heard of Wyatt, I was like, we're gonna have to start from the beginning. What is Wyatt? I'm from Brooklyn. Guys' names are like Joe. Like, I was thrown. Brimley.

• 48:46Drew Afualo?

  What the hell?

• 48:47Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 48:47Drew Afualo?

  That was, that was a man? His name was Brimley?

• 48:49Speaker 01

  No one knew.

• 48:50Drew Afualo?

  Who knows?

• 48:51Speaker 01

  No one knew.

• 48:51Drew Afualo?

  Who knows?

• 48:52Speaker 01

  But girls with GH at the end of their name, I respect you because you had to come up with hard spelling as a young, young child.

• 48:58Drew Afualo?

  You know what? I respect your culture.

• 48:59Speaker 01

  I respect your culture.

• 49:00Drew Afualo?

  I respect your culture of that GH, I E G H.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  You have to say that to everyone every time you spell it. That's, that's trauma.

• 49:09Speaker 01

  Imagine? Wait, I love the name Drew.

• 49:12Drew Afualo?

  Thank you.

• 49:13Speaker 01

  Cause it's like simple and you could send an email and people could think you're just like a gay man with exclamation marks.

• 49:17Drew Afualo?

  Right. And that's actually where my mom named me, uh, like, gave me a gender neutral name because she said, when she was pregnant with me, she saw like, um, this program on TV that was about, um, it was like studying the differences between like job applications and like acceptance rate.

• 49:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:34Drew Afualo?

  And so like if the applications looked exactly the same and one had like a feminine name like a Bethany and then one was like Nick, they would almost always pick the man.

• 49:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:42Drew Afualo?

  So my mom picked a gender neutral name and every job interview I've ever fucking had like in corporate America or not, like they would be like, I thought you were gonna be a boy, like when they met me.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  See, I love that.

• 49:51Drew Afualo?

  Especially in sports, they were assumed immediately that I was a man.

• 49:54Speaker 01

  I love that. I have a, one of my manager's name is Mac, and I was talking to this guy, I'm like, I'll, I'll hook, I'll talk, I'll connect you with my manager Mac, and he was like, can't wait to talk to him. And I call her and I'm like, he's gonna be in a rude awakening.

• 50:04Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, don't tell him, don't tell him.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  Don't tell him, I'm like, Mac's about to fuck his shit up. Mac man is about to come in these streets. I know, I, I sometimes feel like with emails, people. Yeah, Hannah's such a fucking girly name, which you know what? It's good to be girly.

• 50:21Drew Afualo?

  True.

• 50:21Speaker 01

  It's like, we wanna throw like a girl, we wanna be a girl.

• 50:23Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 50:24Speaker 01

  But there's so much subconscious, just like the way people speak to you, and the way you can't speak to them, cuz then you're a cunt. Sorry, I wanna say that word.

• 50:32Drew Afualo?

  But that's okay.

• 50:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, are you a, are you a strong emailer?

• 50:36Drew Afualo?

  Oh yeah, I'm a very like visceral emailer. I can, I can really dice someone up in an email, but that's just because I'm a Virgo, I think. So I'm like, I really enjoy insulting, especially in the written word. I do love to write it.

• 50:47Speaker 01

  Do you do all capitals when you want them to know that you're yelling?

• 50:50Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, or if it's, if it's professional, if it's professional and I want them to know I'm yelling, I'll, I'll bold it, or I'll italicize it.

• 50:58Speaker 01

  Italic, I'm obsessed with that. That's artistic.

• 51:01Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 51:01Speaker 01

  Like, you're the Michelangelo of yelling at people. That's, wait, that's italicizing stuff?

• 51:06Drew Afualo?

  Yeah. Oh, I get in there.

• 51:07Speaker 01

  I don't know if Gen Z's know how to italicize.

• 51:09Drew Afualo?

  No, for real.

• 51:10Speaker 01

  That's, it's complicated.

• 51:10Drew Afualo?

  I know, or even write an email, like, I, I really, you guys need to learn how to write a strongly worded email. It will come in handy. I have actually ghostwritten emails for people. I've ghostwritten texts for people. One of my, my cousin, when we were, um, on vacation together a couple of years ago. Um, she, her boyfriend, she found out he had cheated, so she was breaking up with him, and then his like dad was texting her or something. And she was like, what the fuck? Like, I don't wanna listen to this guy, like, and he was making excuses for his son, whatever the fuck. Um, and so then she gave me her phone, I was like, give it to me. I wrote the meanest text you could possibly imagine. In a way that was like, like, it made sense for her to say it, but I, I'm like, I can strike your tone too. Like, if I know how you talk.

• 51:53Drew Afualo?

  I can write it like that. I've written several for my sister. Uh, I've written some for my friends.

• 51:58Speaker 01

  Unpaid ghostwriter.

• 51:59Drew Afualo?

  Right, I am. I know.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  It is funny when you know your friends.

• 52:02Drew Afualo?

  To hit my line if you need someone.

• 52:06Drew Afualo?

  He loves them.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  Drake catching strays?

• 52:11Drew Afualo?

  Loves ghostwriters, I'm good. That's why if someone, if you need to break up with someone, or you need to like really stick it to a bitch, yeah.

• 52:18Speaker 01

  But I feel like it's good to have a ghostwriter sometimes with texts. Like, I see other people's situations so fucking clear.

• 52:24Drew Afualo?

  For real, me too.

• 52:25Speaker 01

  Like when I'm your friend, and I do know everyone's fonts, I know your wording, I know what words you'd use.

• 52:30Drew Afualo?

  And we never forget.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  And with flirting too, because I'm like, you know, the second you start flirting with someone you actually like, you're like, I don't know words, I don't know sentences. So that's why you need your friend who doesn't give a fuck.

• 52:40Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, for real.

• 52:41Speaker 01

  I have this new thing for flirting, because I'm bored and I can't have him flirt in five years, that I want to tell the girls about. Because someone asked me, they were like, should you wait a long time before you text? And I'm like, honestly, that's pick me. You're literally putting on a timer to like, look like you don't care about this man, text him back immediately with typos.

• 53:01Speaker 01

  So it looks like you don't give a fuck.

• 53:03Drew Afualo?

  And you're on the go.

• 53:04Speaker 01

  Like you're texting an assistant, that you're like, I'm literally too busy for this, figure out what that meant. You just, you Da Vinci Code that shit.

• 53:10Drew Afualo?

  Reverse psychology.

• 53:12Speaker 01

  Like texting back something that makes no sense.

• 53:14Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, and you're like, oh, sorry, I meant to send that to someone else. There you go.

• 53:18Speaker 01

  Like, just be a mess. And be so chaotic, he's like, either she's obsessed with me, or she hates me, and like, keep men on their toes.

• 53:24Drew Afualo?

  And that will keep them, yeah, that will keep them interested, that's for sure.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  At the end of the day, the right one, you could do anything and he'll...

• 53:31Drew Afualo?

  I agree, can't say the wrong thing to the right person, kind of deal, period. Wait, so that's a fun little transition into our fun facts.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  I love a segue.

• 53:42Drew Afualo?

  I do have some fun facts for you.

• 53:43Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 53:44Drew Afualo?

  You can tell me if they're fun, but they're about you.

• 53:46Speaker 01

  Oh shit.

• 53:47Drew Afualo?

  Yeah. I should have specified that, they're not about random things.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  I was like, I like animals.

• 53:52Drew Afualo?

  For real, okay. This one says, um, when you were sixteen, you played on the boys' tennis team at Beacon High School because they didn't have a girls' team. And there was a New York Times article written about it. That's crazy. Okay, she's the man.

• 54:06Speaker 01

  I love that you got that, because that's so, like, you would appreciate that. Yeah, Title IX is basically this thing that says, if they don't have a girls' team, the girl has to be able to try out for the boys' team.

• 54:17Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 54:18Speaker 01

  So I tried out, I made the team, and we were winning everything, and other teams were getting mad that we had me on the team.

• 54:24Drew Afualo?

  A girl.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  And it was, it was so, it was so crazy, but the beautiful story of it all was that... When I went to college, they funded the public school, a girls team that my dad ended up coaching.

• 54:37Drew Afualo?

  Oh, that's so nice. Look at you, making a difference in the world.

• 54:40Speaker 01

  Just trying to get, but women in sports, baby, women in STEM, let's go.

• 54:44Drew Afualo?

  Period. Oh, my god.

• 54:45Speaker 01

  But yeah, I made, you would have loved this. I made men like break their rackets.

• 54:50Drew Afualo?

  That's literally what the next one says. It says like, one time a boy cracked his racket in half in frustration when you beat him in a championship match.

• 54:56Speaker 01

  Drew, you would have orgasmed. You would have fucking orgasmed.

• 54:59Drew Afualo?

  I'm not even kidding, Hannah, I got chills.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  No, like, it's amazing. But the funniest thing is like, in my head, I'm like, these are high school, like, I played internationally, like, I'm playing high school boys, so like, if I lose, I'm gonna be pissed.

• 55:11Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 55:11Speaker 01

  But tennis is not a physical sport. It's very mental. Like, we're not like pushing each other. So I was technically mentally and physically better than them.

• 55:20Drew Afualo?

  Yes.

• 55:20Speaker 01

  And they'd lose and they'd be so mad, yelling, screaming, and I was just like, sorry.

• 55:26Drew Afualo?

  You're like, sorry, I'm a girl.

• 55:28Speaker 01

  The boys on the team, my team, were very supportive where they'd start fucking with the other teams. They'd be like, hey, like, take it easy on her, like, she's, she just started this year.

• 55:36Drew Afualo?

  Them hustling.

• 55:37Speaker 01

  They were like, yeah, they're fucking doing bets under the table as a black market. But the guys on my team knew me and they were really supportive and loved it.

• 55:45Drew Afualo?

  That's really nice, though. I'm glad that they were all supportive of you being there.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  Well, because we all like trained together.

• 55:49Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  Um, but I do think because I was able to like survive being in such a male-dominated sport, stand-up didn't feel as scary for me.

• 55:59Drew Afualo?

  No, that makes a lot of sense, honestly. And also too, like, the fact that you, it speaks to how courageous you are too, because you have to be really brave to do that, especially at sixteen.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 56:08Drew Afualo?

  Like, when you're in like your prime, like, centering men phase, like, in high school especially, that's what my prime, like, pick-me phase was. Unbeknownst to me at the time, obviously, there was no terminology for it at the time, but like, the fact that you were able to do that and sustain and keep doing it is fucking awesome.

• 56:25Speaker 01

  I have to give a shout out to my dad because my dad, I remember early on, I'd like play a boy and I like lost something and he like pulled me to the side and he was like, did you let him win? And I was like, no, like, I swear. And he goes, if you had a crush on him, you let him win, not good, not cool. That's not how we do things.

• 56:40Drew Afualo?

  Get your fucking head in that game.

• 56:41Speaker 01

  My dad always was like, my dad literally was like, never let a man distract you. Like, that's how I live my life.

• 56:46Drew Afualo?

  Listen up.

• 56:47Speaker 01

  And my dad like put it into my head. So if I saw a guy like being cute and stuff, I'm like, he's trying to distract me. Like, I literally act like a male comic.

• 56:53Drew Afualo?

  Nice try, Jezebel.

• 56:57Speaker 01

  I'm like, why are you wearing your shirt so tight around me?

• 56:59Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, you're trying to distract me with your big titties. Nice try, ho. It's not gonna work on me.

• 57:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, like when you walk away, your butt looks good. Get out of my face!

• 57:07Drew Afualo?

  Temptation, I'm not gonna fall for it, this is the enemy.

• 57:09Speaker 01

  But my dad raised me like, like a boy. And that's, it was, and, and he valued like, like he never talked about my looks, my dad. It was always like, how hard are you working? Are you having good sportsmanship?

• 57:20Drew Afualo?

  It's a beautiful thing.

• 57:21Speaker 01

  It's beautiful, and not to be on a soapbox, but that's why I do think women in sports is good because when you have those years where your body starts changing and your hormones are raging, if you could put some confidence into sports, and it's not just based on like, are guys liking me? Cause I was awkward as fuck, braces, acne, but I would go home and be like, I won my match, I feel good about myself.

• 57:42Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 57:42Speaker 01

  And I was like, these legs and this body is doing cool stuff.

• 57:46Drew Afualo?

  Hell yeah. I think, I, I absolutely am such a proponent of that too. And it's also building confidence, like you said, in skills, like things that like, make you unique, make you special. Like, it's like highlighting all the wonderful things about you that have nothing to do with your looks. Which I've talked about, that's like, cause a lot of times, and I know you get this question too, is like, how do you stay so confident? When you're like, in a male-dominated industry, when you like, get harassed by men constantly, like online especially? And I've always said like, I mean, obviously misogyny like relies heavily on women putting a lot of their worth and value in their looks. And they just kind of assume that all women will be so deeply offended if you call them fat and ugly. Like, they just automatically assume that's the meanest thing you could ever say.

• 58:27Drew Afualo?

  Um, as a ve- as, as an actual mean bitch, that's not the meanest thing you could ever say. I can speak confidently to that.

• 58:33Speaker 01

  You go, it's uncreative.

• 58:34Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, that's actually so low lift, it's not even funny. Um, you guys need to get your fucking money up in that regard. Um, but I, I've said before too, I'm like, my confidence, other than the fact that that's a lie, like ugly, you're tripping. Fat, depends on who you ask. Like, I'm a big fat fatty compared to some people, and to some people I'm not, so it really just depends. It's all relative, right? And so like, with that, I've like, said before too, also my confidence, does it, all of my confidence comes from things that you cannot physically see on me. So like, it's like, everything that I pull and derive my confidence from are things you can't see. And that's why it's never, I've been, I'm like, you see my hand? It's not shaking. That's how I feel about men.

• 59:11Speaker 01

  I also think like, Doesn't matter what you look like, how someone carries themselves, like you know when someone walks in a room and like you said, you're like, they got it.

• 59:21Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 59:21Speaker 01

  They got the sauce.

• 59:22Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  And the sauce is not the size of your nose.

• 59:25Drew Afualo?

  No, for real.

• 59:26Speaker 01

  The color of your skin.

• 59:27Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  Like, the sauce is like, ooh, I get shivers from someone.

• 59:30Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, it's like, it's literally like you, like, it's like, that's what, that's why I always say, like, confidence that you and I have is like, easily accessible to everyone, it's, it's, you just have to give yourself permission. Like, I did a long time ago, so that's why I believe I'm the most awesome at no detraction of anyone else. It's just like, I think every woman is awesome.

• 59:47Speaker 01

  And not to talk about our inner child, but like, you know when you see a seven-year-old who like, doesn't give a fuck?

• 59:51Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  Like, remember who you were when you were seven, you didn't care what boys thought, you knew what you liked to do for fun.

• 59:57Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, for real.

• 59:58Speaker 01

  You showed up at class and you're like, let's go.

• 1:00:00Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, you were so confident about it.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  That's what I think, like, your twenties is like figuring out who you are in your thirties, you're like, oh, it's who I was. I just have to deconstruct all the bullshit.

• 1:00:09Drew Afualo?

  And you're walking in it at that point.

• 1:00:10Speaker 01

  That people put on to me.

• 1:00:11Drew Afualo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 1:00:13Drew Afualo?

  Period. Oh, my gosh.

• 1:00:14Speaker 01

  We would be so good on a panel, by the way. Put us on a panel. Put us on a panel. You love a panel, don't you?

• 1:00:20Drew Afualo?

  I do love a panel. They love me on a panel, honestly.

• 1:00:23Speaker 01

  Oh, also, I just want to add, that's why some of us, let's work on our personalities. Let's work on our personalities, and I think shout out to like, your pod and a lot of these like hilarious pods out there that I think, like, helps people be like, oh, conversation is important.

• 1:00:37Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  Being charming is important, listening is important. Cause you ever leave a, a conversation with someone and be like, wow, that was incredible, like, good chat, you know, in like, Ireland?

• 1:00:46Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:47Speaker 01

  It's about the chat.

• 1:00:48Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, it's about the chat.

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  It's about the vibe. Learn how to roast someone with confidence and beauty.

• 1:00:53Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  And grace. Like, girls are working on, and it's not their fault, it's the fucking patriarchy, but we're working on your pores, you're working on your cuticles, you're working on the size of your nostrils.

• 1:01:03Drew Afualo?

  No, yeah.

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  Let's work on our personalities.

• 1:01:05Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:06Speaker 01

  Men as well.

• 1:01:07Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, for real, they, they especially, I was like, men are so uninteresting, it's not even funny.

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  They need some classes.

• 1:01:12Drew Afualo?

  Literally, my, we joke about this all the time with my friends, but like, our friend Ian, he calls, uh, people punishers, which are like, when they come up and they talk to you and they have no Conversation skill, they have no personality and it's like, that's how I feel about a lot of awful men when they come to like harass me at that point, it doesn't feel like conversation feels like harassment. But he's like, he literally calls them punishers. He's like, you're punishing me, you're punishing me in this conversation.

• 1:01:38Speaker 01

  Well, our, our life, we have to do so much small talk with so many different people. Like the fame stuff, the influencer stuff, like the energies get fucking weird.

• 1:01:47Drew Afualo?

  Oh my god, in those parties, you talk to famous people and you're like, have you ever spoken to another human ever? Sometimes I talk to famous people and I'm like, holy fuck, holy fuck, has anyone ever, have you ever asked a question?

• 1:02:03Drew Afualo?

  Am I fucking awful or was I just talking a million?

• 1:02:05Speaker 01

  But then you talk to your friend and you're like, we're normal. Let's add a little mercy laugh every now and then, like let's move the story. Oh my, some of it's brutal.

• 1:02:14Drew Afualo?

  Some of it's really bad and like honestly, like I, I'm shocked when I meet like, and you, I know you've met a ton, like A-list talent.

• 1:02:24Drew Afualo?

  I know you have though, because you, I know you've had these interactions because you've met a lot of A-list talent, so have I, where like sometimes I'm like, Oh god, god help you if you ever go on a podcast, like, oh my fucking god. I was like, if you are ever on a podcast, I hope your team cuts it up a million ways.

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  There's a reason these people don't do hour-long podcasts, which is Aussie smart, good for them.

• 1:02:46Drew Afualo?

  Know your strengths, honestly. And I'll tell you this story, I have told it on here before, but I've never, obviously I've never said who it is, but it's about.

• 1:02:54Drew Afualo?

  One time I, I heard this girl say like, because I asked, I was like, I might have seen him as something, I didn't end up seeing him. But like, they were like, if you do talk to him, right? Do not ask anything outside of these two questions. And the two questions were like, how do you feel? And, um, what do you like about it? Like that was it. Like they were very, like three words max, like very easy. So then when I get to the event, I'm like, you know, obviously one of the best parts of this industry is talking to people behind the scenes and being like, so who do we love, who do we hate?

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  I'm like, is she a monster?

• 1:03:31Drew Afualo?

  I'm like, who's the meanest person you've ever fucking talked to? Like I love asking people that. And so like, I was like sleuthing, I'm like asking around, I'm like, so what's his deal? Like, what is that? Because I've also heard through the grapevine that he's misogynistic. But I've never confirmed that. So I was like, what is the?

• 1:03:45Speaker 01

  I've never been misogynistic. That's crazy.

• 1:03:48Drew Afualo?

  That's crazy dude.

• 1:03:49Speaker 01

  That doesn't support the patriarchy at all.

• 1:03:50Drew Afualo?

  So I literally was like, who, I was like, why, you know, cause they, they edited my stuff down and then they told me, do not ask him anything outside of this. And then she goes, I was like, is that because he's like, is he fucked up or what? And she goes, no, I think it's because he's fucking stupid. That was a verbatim quote. She said, fucking stupid. I laughed so hard. I said, girl, what are you talking about? And she said that he literally does not like improv. He doesn't like pivots. He doesn't, he doesn't like anything fun. When he gets questions, girl, when he goes-

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  By the way, this is a beautiful man you're talking about. That girls are jerking off to every night. Continue.

• 1:04:27Drew Afualo?

  Girl, he literally, when he goes on appearances, like big shows, whatever, they give him everything in advance. They write answers out. He memorizes them like lines. He's a robot. I think someone puts a big key in his back and turns it.

• 1:04:41Speaker 01

  Wait, when you said he doesn't like pivots, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Imagine you're like, you gotta stick to where it's going. If a, I have ADHD.

• 1:04:49Drew Afualo?

  In normal human conversation?

• 1:04:50Speaker 01

  I pivot mid-work.

• 1:04:52Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:52Speaker 01

  We, we haven't finished one thing we brought up on this pod.

• 1:04:55Drew Afualo?

  No, for real. Not one.

• 1:04:58Speaker 01

  Nothing has been figured out.

• 1:04:59Drew Afualo?

  Not one.

• 1:05:00Speaker 01

  But we started everything.

• 1:05:01Drew Afualo?

  I literally couldn't believe it. I was like, no way. And then he's like, no, he's a dumb bitch.

• 1:05:05Speaker 01

  This is the problem though, cause then, not that I ever watched his stuff. It's not like ruining the art for me.

• 1:05:11Drew Afualo?

  No, me too.

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  But um, yeah, never crossed my desk, but it's like, sometimes you meet someone and you can't appreciate the TV shows anymore. Cause you know, like the person behind it, same with comedy. Like you meet some comics and you're like, that's not funny anymore.

• 1:05:23Drew Afualo?

  Yeah. Unfortunately, I saw behind the curtain. So that sucks.

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  Damn it.

• 1:05:28Drew Afualo?

  But yeah.

• 1:05:28Speaker 01

  But then some people you meet and you're like, holy shit, they're better than I thought.

• 1:05:31Drew Afualo?

  Or, or you're like, thank God.

• 1:05:33Speaker 01

  Thank God.

• 1:05:33Drew Afualo?

  Thank God, they're awesome. I had a feeling, thank God.

• 1:05:36Speaker 01

  I need it. But it's, it's real. I feel like people, they say fame either like makes, just exasperates. I don't know if that's the word. Just like, you're more of what you were. If you're an asshole, you become a supreme asshole.

• 1:05:48Drew Afualo?

  I agree, yeah.

• 1:05:49Speaker 01

  If you're great, then you could become like an angel.

• 1:05:51Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I literally told one of my friends recently that I'm like, I really do think to make it to a certain level, you either have to be the best person ever, or the worst person I've ever fucking met. Cause every really famous person I've ever met is one or the other. There's no in-between. And I think it's cause you'll get squeezed out. You'll get choked out.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  And I think, cause like, normal people who are actually just like- They are living content with living good, nice lives.

• 1:06:16Drew Afualo?

  I agree, yeah.

• 1:06:16Speaker 01

  Instead of putting himself through the chaos of trying to be famous.

• 1:06:20Drew Afualo?

  So it's only the strong or the evil survive. That's all that survives in Hollywood. Like, you're either strong as fuck or you're evil. Those are the only two ways you get it. And it's true. Like, I was like, it's so true, because everyone I've met is either awesome, or I'm like, I hope I never cross paths with you ever again. Like, you're awful. And anyone in your circle sounds awful, too. Like, it's so, and I take that shit so serious. And it feels like high school, low-key, because we, like, you talk to one person, they all know each other. Everybody knows everybody.

• 1:06:48Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:06:49Drew Afualo?

  It's so strange.

• 1:06:50Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:06:50Drew Afualo?

  But I do have more fun facts for you.

• 1:06:51Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, sorry. I was trying to distract you.

• 1:06:53Drew Afualo?

  Oh, this one, this one says, you used to be a community relations intern for the Brooklyn Nets. Was that, it's so mad to your dad.

• 1:07:02Speaker 01

  Well, the, the Nets, we, the Knicks suck so bad, but like, um, the Nets became Brooklyn and I'm from Brooklyn, but I, but yeah, that was a really fun, that was a fun job. It was cool.

• 1:07:12Drew Afualo?

  I, I-

• 1:07:12Speaker 01

  Shout out to the Nets.

• 1:07:15Drew Afualo?

  I love the NBA. They're fun to work with.

• 1:07:16Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, you do stuff.

• 1:07:17Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, I, I love them.

• 1:07:19Speaker 01

  That got me so excited when I saw that, because again, love women and male dummy fields.

• 1:07:23Drew Afualo?

  Oh, my God, I know. When they were like, why the fuck would you pick her? I'll tell you why. There's women on that team, that's why. Women on that team were like, you want women to tune in, you gotta pick the one.

• 1:07:32Speaker 01

  Have you ever been to a Liberty game?

• 1:07:34Drew Afualo?

  No, I haven't. I want to so bad, though.

• 1:07:36Speaker 01

  It's like being in a gay club. Like, well, Liberty has Ellie, which was like the amazing mascot.

• 1:07:42Drew Afualo?

  I love Ellie the Elephant, yes.

• 1:07:43Speaker 01

  She's fully, I think she should win Drag Race. Like, there's something going on, but like, it's all for, um, not through the male gaze, so it's crazy to see the whole, the whole performance of it all. Like, they had these, like, eighty-five-year-old dancers come out, and the whole thing, I was like, oh, wait, so much is for, like, what do we think the average forty-five-year-old guy wants to see?

• 1:08:02Drew Afualo?

  That's true.

• 1:08:02Speaker 01

  That's what the NBA is. But the WNBA, they were like, let's have fun, girlies! Let's have a good time. It's like, what are feelings?

• 1:08:09Drew Afualo?

  And let's watch some basketball.

• 1:08:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, so you have to go to WNBA.

• 1:08:12Drew Afualo?

  Oh, my God, I'm so excited. I went to their All-Star game. A couple of years ago in Arizona, and that was fucking awesome.

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:18Drew Afualo?

  Um, okay, this one says, you got appendicitis in twenty twenty while filming an episode of Bravo's Chat Room? Oh, my God, Hannah. That what happened to you?

• 1:08:28Speaker 01

  There was, okay, so my first like talk show gig was this show, virtual show during covid. I did it in my mom's kitchen, like on a toaster oven. And like, it was with Portia Williams, Gisele Bryant, Kate Chastain, so much fun.

• 1:08:41Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:41Speaker 01

  I started with like a feeling of burning in my stomach, which, look. I have stomach problems, like if I had a nickel, for the amount of times I'd be like, there's burning in my stomach and it's my fault. I had, I ate something I shouldn't have eaten.

• 1:08:53Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:54Speaker 01

  But it was like burning and I remember like unzipping my pants at one point, being like, oh god, this is bad, this is bad. And my mom is like type A.

• 1:09:01Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:02Speaker 01

  So I look at her, I'm like twenty-nine, thirty years old at this point. We finished the episode and I'm like, I think I have to lie down, my stomach is burning. And she goes, I read about this, it's appendicitis, we gotta take you to the hospital. Like that, like you know a mom that's anxious, but like for the perfect reason?

• 1:09:17Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

• 1:09:18Speaker 01

  Like if she wasn't a psychopath and had been like searching all the ways her kid could die.

• 1:09:22Drew Afualo?

  She never would have been able to diagnose you.

• 1:09:24Speaker 01

  Never would be able to diagnose.

• 1:09:25Drew Afualo?

  And it also sucks because it validates them doing that shit. My mom's like that too, so my mom will keep doing it. And I'm like, then she's like, well, I was right. I'm like, right, but you still shouldn't be doing that.

• 1:09:34Speaker 01

  She's like, I don't like the shade of your gum, I think you, you gotta go to the hospital.

• 1:09:38Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, you have something.

• 1:09:39Speaker 01

  She's the one who texts me just being like, everyone is dying in, you know, Maine because of a lettuce disease. And like, I know you're in New York, but it's coming down to you soon, so don't eat salads for the next eight months.

• 1:09:50Drew Afualo?

  Thanks mom, appreciate it. Hey, don't worry about that with me. Okay, last one, it says, the first time you ever saw your husband was when he got up and did a stand-up set at the Comedy Cellar.

• 1:09:59Speaker 01

  Oh, that actually is kind of a cute, meet cute rom-com moment.

• 1:10:02Drew Afualo?

  That is cute, yeah.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  I was like doing sales, I was just a fan, I never thought I would be a stand-up comic.

• 1:10:07Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:07Speaker 01

  And I was just a fan with my coworkers and this guy got up and he's from Queens, New York originally. And he was funny and he said he lived in Ireland and I was like, oh, I guess I'll never marry that guy. And I never saw him, I just thought he was hot and I followed him and then like five years later, he saw me in the background of a Nikki Glaser Instagram story and followed me. Shout out Nikki, causing love connections.

• 1:10:30Drew Afualo?

  I do love Nikki, we do, we love her here.

• 1:10:32Speaker 01

  We love, I mean, she really held my hand at the beginning, like she's amazing. But um, and then I, I was like on dating apps, but he was above my age range. But I was also crazy back then, I was like, my age range was like up to thirty-five. Girls, get it up, girl. Get it up, we want these experienced, tired men. These young men.

• 1:10:55Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:10:55Drew Afualo?

  Girl, don't even.

• 1:10:56Speaker 01

  So.

• 1:10:57Drew Afualo?

  They're just discovering looks maxing, which is them discovering that being beautiful works. Yeah, we've been on that tip, so I, I've known that for a fucking while.

• 1:11:06Speaker 01

  Any guy looks maxing is coming out to you.

• 1:11:08Drew Afualo?

  Right, like, it's, it's genuinely like a man just discovered, like, pretty privilege.

• 1:11:14Speaker 01

  But I do love using men's insecurities of their looks to monetize them.

• 1:11:19Drew Afualo?

  Oh, you're telling me, that's my whole platform.

• 1:11:20Speaker 01

  Sell them some fancy lotions.

• 1:11:22Drew Afualo?

  Right, right.

• 1:11:23Speaker 01

  No, enough with the three in one conditioners, like, let's get every single part, like.

• 1:11:27Drew Afualo?

  Right, they're too busy giving tips to women about things to fix, like, maybe you should look in-house.

• 1:11:31Speaker 01

  True.

• 1:11:31Drew Afualo?

  Make sure their own house is in order.

• 1:11:33Speaker 01

  True.

• 1:11:34Drew Afualo?

  True.

• 1:11:36Speaker 01

  So, yeah, I, um, we ended up getting together even though I, I met him four years later after that.

• 1:11:41Drew Afualo?

  That's crazy.

• 1:11:41Speaker 01

  But it was just doing research, just spotting stuff early. And the universe was like, you're not ready yet.

• 1:11:47Drew Afualo?

  Yeah, that's a good point.

• 1:11:49Speaker 01

  I had work to do on myself first.

• 1:11:50Drew Afualo?

  And look at you.

• 1:11:51Speaker 01

  We tried.

• 1:11:51Drew Afualo?

  You saw him on that stage, you said, "I'm gonna get, I'm gonna take that job."

• 1:11:56Drew Afualo?

  Match made in heaven.

• 1:11:57Speaker 01

  I go, "He's gonna have to watch me do stand-up the rest of his life."

• 1:12:01Drew Afualo?

  I'm gonna, oh no, reverse that hoe.

• 1:12:02Speaker 01

  I'm gonna ruin his life.

• 1:12:03Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:05Speaker 01

  I hope he's having fun for now.

• 1:12:06Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:07Speaker 01

  Enjoy your last few moments of joy.

• 1:12:09Drew Afualo?

  Well, did you enjoy the fun facts? Were they fun?

• 1:12:11Speaker 01

  That was so fun.

• 1:12:12Drew Afualo?

  Oh, my God, I'm so glad.

• 1:12:13Speaker 01

  I was.

• 1:12:14Drew Afualo?

  Amanda lives to see her job another day.

• 1:12:15Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, Amanda, good job. You killed it.

• 1:12:18Drew Afualo?

  My last question for you, for, if you have any advice for any women who maybe want to get into stand-up especially, or even podcasting, or even tennis.

• 1:12:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:28Drew Afualo?

  If there is someone who really wants to get into entertainment and they want to pursue it, like, what advice do you have for them?

• 1:12:33Speaker 01

  My advice is that be that X-factor, be yourself. I think my stand-up connected with people because I wasn't. Like watching what other people were doing, I was just trying to like focus on my stuff. And I think when people are like, you're unique, you have your own voice. No, no, no, you're just being yourself and there's no one like you. Right. So if you're sitting there being like, I'm not as good as that person or that person, that person, you're not those people. Right. You're you and your voice should be heard. Yeah. So speak from your heart, speak from your stories and get out there and everyone's always nervous about like doing bad or bombing. I'm like, the funniest part is when you say something that no one laughs and you're like, oh, that's where you guys, that's where you put like, that's the funniest part where I'm like,

• 1:13:14Speaker 01

  oh, that's when we got tight, when I brought up my grandpa. Okay. Like, just be honest.

• 1:13:19Drew Afualo?

  All of a sudden, everybody has standards of comedy.

• 1:13:21Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:13:22Drew Afualo?

  I was joking about poo poo for a second. Y'all were cracking up.

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  Yes. And I always think like, I know it's scary, but you know, it's scarier not going for what you want.

• 1:13:30Drew Afualo?

  Right. Or even ever finding out. It's true. And I honestly think a lot of the times it's the fear of being perceived that with like, holds people back from even pursuing art forms like, like standup, for example.

• 1:13:41Speaker 01

  Let's just say you're being perceived regardless. You might as well make money.

• 1:13:44Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:46Speaker 01

  Right?

• 1:13:46Drew Afualo?

  Maybe get a few yucks here and there. Maybe make some people laugh. Why not?

• 1:13:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, being perceived makes you feel alive.

• 1:13:52Drew Afualo?

  Right.

• 1:13:52Speaker 01

  And everyone's just projecting their experiences onto you. So it's cool.

• 1:13:55Drew Afualo?

  Right. And what people think about you, like,

• 1:13:58Speaker 01

  Whenever you say sticks onto you and stick me. That's the quote.

• 1:14:02Drew Afualo?

  And what people think about me is none of my business. I was always like, that's for y'all, not for me. Period.

• 1:14:07Speaker 01

  Hulu, January 5th, none of my business.

• 1:14:11Speaker 01

  Let's go.

• 1:14:11Drew Afualo?

  Well, thank you so much for coming on the show.

• 1:14:13Speaker 01

  Thank you, Drew. This was so much fun. I love you too.

• 1:14:15Drew Afualo?

  You're the best.

• 1:14:16Speaker 01

  We gotta punch a man now.

• 1:14:17Drew Afualo?

  Yeah. And now I'm, now I'm getting,

• 1:14:19Speaker 01

  Now I'm mad at my husband.

• 1:14:21Drew Afualo?

  Now I'm gonna homewreck your home and then you're gonna marry me.

• 1:14:27Drew Afualo?

  Dada, for real. But for everyone that, the two people that maybe don't know, where can they find you and your special?

• 1:14:33Speaker 01

  Oh, Hannah Berner and Hulu is my second special.

• 1:14:37Drew Afualo?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:37Speaker 01

  None of My Business. And Netflix was my first one.

• 1:14:40Drew Afualo?

  Amen. Look at you knocking them down one by one. And you have a podcast.

• 1:14:45Speaker 01

  Yes, Giggly Squad. Giggly Squad. We love to giggle like Drew.

• 1:14:49Drew Afualo?

  Amazing.

• 1:14:50Speaker 01

  Oh, amen.

• 1:14:50Drew Afualo?

  Yeah. And they do be making me giggle.

• 1:14:52Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:14:53Drew Afualo?

  Y'all be making me giggle, I love it.

• 1:14:54Speaker 01

  That means a lot to me.

• 1:14:55Drew Afualo?

  Thank you. Likewise, I make you giggle. Period. Thank you all so much for tuning into this episode of the comment section. Thank you so much to my amazing guest Hannah Berner. You all already know who she is and you all already follow her, but if you don't, make sure you do and you check out her new special on Hulu. Very exciting. And thank you so much for tuning in. Don't forget, new episodes of the comment section drop every Wednesday. You can stream the audio on all streaming platforms and the video is now on YouTube. Wow, how exciting. Thank fucking god. We're free. Y'all, we made it. We did it, guys. Anyways, thank you so much to my amazing guest Hannah. Thank you so much to all of you and I'll see you next week. Bye.