Ep 209: Hasan Minhaj

We do a chunk up top with just the guys while waiting for Hasan Minhaj to arrive. Recapping the meeting with Larry David and how that didn't go great. The show in the Boston Garden and then we chat all things comedy with Hasan. Watch Hasan's new Netflix special "Off With His Head" Spice up your sex life & get 20% off your 1st order at  https://www.usejoymode.com/DRUNK Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/ SubscribeToWMBD WMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ WMBD Clips Page: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Hasan Minhaj: Netflix Special "Off With His Head" out now! Sam Morril: YouTube Channel: @sammorril Instagram: https://instagram.com/sammorril/?hl=en Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: YouTube Channel: @marknormand Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marknormand/?hl=en Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets We Might Be Drunk is produced by Gotham Production Studios https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/ @GothamProductionStudios Producer Matt Peters: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters/?hl=en #wemightbedrunk #marknormand #sammorril #podcast #drunkpodcast #comedy #comedian #funny #gothampodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Mark Normand?

  Hey, hey, we're here, we're back. Look at Winnie in the holiday fair.

• 0:10Sam Morril?

  I had to, you know, she's been a big part of the pod. I gotta drop some money on her, man.

• 0:14Mark Normand?

  It's nice. What is that, Gucci?

• 0:16Sam Morril?

  It's Fendi.

• 0:17Mark Normand?

  Ooh, well, I'm offended about that price. Jesus.

• 0:22Sam Morril?

  Uh, yeah, dude, she's doing some big shit in LA. She's able to stop in occasionally now.

• 0:29Mark Normand?

  Very good, yeah.

• 0:30Sam Morril?

  She's having a Betty White type of resurgence.

• 0:32Mark Normand?

  And she don't live there. Hey, happy holidays.

• 0:37Sam Morril?

  Hey, get in there.

• 0:38Mark Normand?

  Sally brought, uh, don't tell me you brought a cookie, you sick fuck.

• 0:41Sam Morril?

  Oh, fuck her. I just did Seth Meyers, they give me a-

• 0:45Mark Normand?

  Thank you.

• 0:45Sam Morril?

  Amazing experience, great show, but they give you the bag of the Levine cookies.

• 0:50Mark Normand?

  Ah, the Levine.

• 0:51Sam Morril?

  And then I was gonna not take them, but I saw Ted Danson take them. I'm like, who am I to not take them?

• 0:56Mark Normand?

  If he's taking them, you gotta take them. You gotta take, how is Ted? Is he 6'8"? What is he?

• 1:00Sam Morril?

  He's tall, he looks suave as fuck.

• 1:02Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:03Sam Morril?

  His tailored suit looked great. You were saying, we were just talking about the making of one coffee a day, pregnant?

• 1:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10Sam Morril?

  That's rough.

• 1:11Mark Normand?

  No one talks about that. Everybody knows, hey, no booze, no drugs, no smoking, but no sushi, no cold cuts, no oysters. You can't take, like, Pepto Bismol, you can't even have. It's crazy, the amount of shit. No Pepto.

• 1:25Sam Morril?

  How about like a peppermint pill, could you do that?

• 1:28Mark Normand?

  Probably.

• 1:29Sam Morril?

  No Pepto's, I took it yesterday.

• 1:31Mark Normand?

  You live on Pepto.

• 1:32Sam Morril?

  I took it this morning.

• 1:33Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 1:34Sam Morril?

  I take it every fucking day.

• 1:35Mark Normand?

  That's your spinach.

• 1:35Sam Morril?

  I'm a piece of shit.

• 1:36Mark Normand?

  You're Popeye. But yeah, she, no one talks about all the other stuff. And you'll be like, oh, we're doing shrooms tonight, here you go. Ah, shrooms, yeah, yeah, like, everything.

• 1:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I would advise against that one.

• 1:46Mark Normand?

  I didn't know what, it's natural.

• 1:47Sam Morril?

  I know, but that one seemed like a layup.

• 1:49Mark Normand?

  That's true, that's true.

• 1:50Sam Morril?

  You can't do acid on shrooms? This is fucking crazy.

• 1:54Mark Normand?

  Well, acid's a chemical, it's on a, it's in the bible. This is, um-

• 1:59Sam Morril?

  I know, but I would have assumed, like psychedelics or, is shrooms a psychedelic?

• 2:03Mark Normand?

  It is, yeah.

• 2:03Sam Morril?

  Okay, well, yeah, you probably shouldn't do it.

• 2:05Mark Normand?

  Psilocybin, imagine that baby in there, like, whoa, it's, you know, it's like a planetarium, all of a sudden. You got Orion's Belt up your ass.

• 2:12Sam Morril?

  He's in there like, oh my god, it's crazy, I'm gonna come out of that thing.

• 2:16Mark Normand?

  I was jizz, man. I was in my dad's balls.

• 2:22Sam Morril?

  That's crazy. I want to hear about this gig you did with. Okay, so it's first off, Big Jer.

• 2:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 2:30Sam Morril?

  Who else? Springsteen?

• 2:32Mark Normand?

  Springsteen closed.

• 2:33Sam Morril?

  Okay.

• 2:33Mark Normand?

  Jerry, Springsteen, Stewart, Gaffigan, Norah Jones.

• 2:38Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 2:38Mark Normand?

  And Questlove.

• 2:39Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 2:40Mark Normand?

  If that tickles your taint.

• 2:41Sam Morril?

  Oh, he's great. I love him.

• 2:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah. But, uh, Bob Woodruff, Stand Up For Heroes, shout out to him. He makes all this money for these vets. I mean, this guy's in the front row with no legs.

• 2:51Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 2:51Mark Normand?

  Probably shouldn't have said, "That joke's got legs, unlike him."

• 2:54Sam Morril?

  Oh.

• 2:55Mark Normand?

  No, I didn't say that. But it ran through the head.

• 2:57Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:58Mark Normand?

  Two years ago, I would have. But don't forget Larry on Saturday.

• 3:03Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 3:04Mark Normand?

  That was Monday.

• 3:05Sam Morril?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 3:06Mark Normand?

  What a week.

• 3:06Sam Morril?

  You spent time with both creators of Seinfeld.

• 3:11Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 3:11Sam Morril?

  It can't get, I mean, that's like comedy fucking camp 101.

• 3:15Mark Normand?

  Yes. Make a wish, baby. Um, well, I gotta tell you about the Larry thing.

• 3:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah. He didn't look happy in the picture.

• 3:22Mark Normand?

  He was miserable. I was miserable. It was bad. It was like a hostage situation.

• 3:27Sam Morril?

  Damn it.

• 3:27Mark Normand?

  I would rather be waterboarded than go through that again.

• 3:30Sam Morril?

  And because he knew, his agent was like, "This guy demands you meet..." This is like a thing he would hate.

• 3:36Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 3:37Sam Morril?

  This is like a curb.

• 3:38Mark Normand?

  It's a curb app.

• 3:38Sam Morril?

  Like, he has to.

• 3:40Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 3:40Sam Morril?

  He has to shake your hand and take a photo.

• 3:42Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 3:43Sam Morril?

  And in the curb app, you'd be like played by someone, you'd be played by like Alex Edelman or something.

• 3:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, exactly. So, just long story short, I'm doing the Chicago Theater. He goes, Berkowitz goes, "Hey, Larry wants to do it that night. Can he have the 5 o'clock slot? You move your show from 7 to 8, just to give a little more breathing room." And I said, "No problem, but I get to meet him." And he said, "Yeah, no problem. That's easy."

• 4:07Sam Morril?

  And this is my agent, by the way.

• 4:08Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 4:09Sam Morril?

  And this is like, you know, he, uh, he's a bulldog, but I can imagine he did not enjoy delivering this news to Larry David.

• 4:16Mark Normand?

  I can imagine too, because I don't think he ever did. Larry was in the dark.

• 4:20Sam Morril?

  He didn't know about it?

• 4:21Mark Normand?

  That's why this was so awkward.

• 4:22Sam Morril?

  That's why he's a good agent. He just made it happen.

• 4:28Mark Normand?

  So here's the rundown. So Larry, his guy, I'm not gonna say his name, but he's on, he's on WME, he's on your team.

• 4:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 4:35Mark Normand?

  He's Larry's point man.

• 4:37Sam Morril?

  Okay.

• 4:37Mark Normand?

  I'm not gonna say his name, cuz I'm about to fuck this guy right in the ass.

• 4:41Sam Morril?

  I know who it is already.

• 4:42Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 4:42Sam Morril?

  I think.

• 4:43Mark Normand?

  So, I'm in Chicago, me and DeVito are out at a lunch spot, having coffee, talking comedy, we're having a great time. Anthony DeVito, look him up.

• 4:51Sam Morril?

  One of the best.

• 4:52Mark Normand?

  One of the best, just that-

• 4:53Sam Morril?

  So funny.

• 4:53Mark Normand?

  So funny, and just walking around that downtown Chicago, we're in Kalamazoo the night before, no offense, so it was like quite an upgrade. The river going through, the Lake Michigan, the Sears Tower.

• 5:02Sam Morril?

  That would be funny if someone in Kalamazoo is like, "What?" Chicago's, they don't know, they're like, "Kalamazoo is fucking cool, dude."

• 5:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, the theater wasn't bad, but as a town, it's, you know-

• 5:13Sam Morril?

  No, Chicago is top five in the, in the state. Chicago's-

• 5:16Mark Normand?

  Easily.

• 5:16Sam Morril?

  You got the water, it's fucking, I love New York, but it's affordable.

• 5:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, true, true.

• 5:23Sam Morril?

  It's gorgeous.

• 5:24Mark Normand?

  Gorgeous.

• 5:24Sam Morril?

  The architecture's insane, the food is great, it's, it's a top-tier city-

• 5:29Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 5:29Sam Morril?

  Through and through.

• 5:30Mark Normand?

  Millennial Mile, the park, the bean.

• 5:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 5:33Mark Normand?

  You know, and I'm a Ferris Bueller nut, so I'm just going, "Oh, yeah."

• 5:37Sam Morril?

  Twist and chef.

• 5:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, so Larry's guy's hitting me up, and he's going, "Hey, the show's at five, you might wanna come early, meet him before the show." And I go, "Oh, well, we're out at lunch, I still gotta go shower, I was planning on coming to the, to the show."

• 5:54Sam Morril?

  They're already fucking you.

• 5:54Mark Normand?

  Exactly. And he's like, well, he's gonna wanna leave right after his show, and I'm like, "I'm out." They told me after, so I had planned on after, and now you're trying to switch it up on me, he's like, "You might not be able to do it after, I'd come before." And I'm like, "I'll never make it, I gotta go home and shower, and get my, my outfit on, and the whole thing."

• 6:10Sam Morril?

  This is fucked up.

• 6:11Mark Normand?

  It's fucked up. So I'm like, I put my foot down, I call him, I'm like, "Hey, hey, fuck you, we agreed to this, I moved to time." Well, I'm texting. I'm like, "Hey, we agreed to this," and he's like, "All right, all right, we'll see, give me the we'll see." And I'm like, "What was all this? What was all the agreement?"

• 6:26Sam Morril?

  This is fucking Pev City, all over it.

• 6:28Mark Normand?

  So his show's at five, so I show up at 5:30, cuz I wanna see the show. He's doing an Evening with Larry David, it's him and Susie Espin on stage, it was, it was really funny.

• 6:36Sam Morril?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 6:37Mark Normand?

  Super cool Q and A, Larry's up on his feet telling stories. One guy goes, Larry, did you keep anything from the Seinfeld set? And he was like, yeah, I kept some stuff from the diner. And he goes, no, that's boring. Give me some like, some real dirt. And Larry goes, boring? Fuck you! Fuck you! And he's up on his feet. You call me boring? You know, he does that whole thing. And it was great. And then, after the show, they whisk Larry off into the green room. And I'm like, this is it. So Larry's guy comes and grabs me and he goes, let's do it. And he looks annoyed at me, like, let's get this over with. And I'm like, why am I the bad guy? But whatever. So we get to Larry's green room.

• 7:11Sam Morril?

  Did he have any idea who you were?

• 7:12Mark Normand?

  No idea.

• 7:13Sam Morril?

  So he didn't know you were doing the show after him?

• 7:15Mark Normand?

  Nothing.

• 7:16Sam Morril?

  You could just be some dipshit roaming the halls.

• 7:19Mark Normand?

  Yes, exactly. And I got that weird thing on my arm. He probably thought I had cancer or something. And I just got a blood infusion, because that was from the IVs.

• 7:26Sam Morril?

  That's why I travel with Vida. People are like, he might have cancer.

• 7:29Mark Normand?

  He's bald.

• 7:30Sam Morril?

  He's bald, he's got the thin eyebrows.

• 7:34Mark Normand?

  So Larry's in the green room, that green room with like, 12 people. Old people, his daughter's in there, he's got family in there. And they're all like, great show, good to see you. And he's like, I haven't seen you since New York City in 1971. He's talking to all these people.

• 7:46Sam Morril?

  Fuck.

• 7:47Mark Normand?

  And his point guy is looking at me, I'm standing outside the green room like this. And he goes, we gotta do it now. We gotta do it now. If we don't do it now, it'll never happen.

• 7:54Sam Morril?

  Like Secret Service, they're like, the eagle has landed.

• 7:56Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes, exactly. Meanwhile, I'm picturing, I'm at my hotel room showering like, me and Larry are gonna talk about stand-up, we're gonna talk about Open for Jerry, we're gonna talk about the Dodgers, we're gonna talk about New York. I'm gonna talk about the show, he's gonna get me in a headlock, he's gonna noogie me, we're gonna kiss. I have all these fantasies. I thought about asking for a guest set, like, what kind of crazy world am I living in?

• 8:17Sam Morril?

  He stays for your show, he's like, I should bring back Curb. This guy could be my new wacky neighbor.

• 8:21Mark Normand?

  Yes, I fuck his daughter, I thought all kinds of stuff was gonna happen. So I'm outside the green room and he's like, let's do it now. And I'm like, give him a minute. He's talking to some old guy, their old friend, give him a minute. And he's like, it's now or never. And I'm like, alright, fine. And this pimple, this twerp, he goes, hey Larry, sorry to interrupt, this guy wants to meet you. And Larry's like, uh, okay. And I just come in.

• 8:44Sam Morril?

  This guy is rough.

• 8:46Mark Normand?

  How about, he's doing the show next to you, after you, it's sold out. How about he's a stand-up comedian, how about he opens for Jerry? How about, you know, he moved his time for you? Give me some context, you queef? You killed me.

• 8:57Sam Morril?

  This is rough, and did you, did you see the agent afterwards? Was he in there?

• 9:02Mark Normand?

  Uh, well, who?

• 9:03Sam Morril?

  The guy who, who fucked you over.

• 9:05Mark Normand?

  He was the one going, "We gotta do it now." That's him.

• 9:07Sam Morril?

  Oh, I thought he was just a, a security guy, okay.

• 9:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, no, no, this is his point guy, his assistant, or whatever you wanna call it, his representation.

• 9:13Sam Morril?

  That's rough.

• 9:13Mark Normand?

  So Larry's like, okay, he just stood there, no handshake, and I go, I had all these things to say, I froze. Cause I felt so uncomfortable. I went blank and I go, "Great show." And he goes, "Yeah." And they took the photo and I got, I left. And DeVito was like, "Woo, that was brutal." DeVito thought he would meet him too, I mean, we thought this would be a lot more casual and, and, and, and fun.

• 9:35Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 9:36Mark Normand?

  It was rough.

• 9:37Sam Morril?

  You gotta text, you gotta text my agent.

• 9:38Mark Normand?

  I'll, I'm gonna let him know, I hope he hears, send him this clip.

• 9:40Sam Morril?

  Send it to him.

• 9:42Mark Normand?

  Cause, uh, he, that kid fucked me right in the ass, Larry had no idea, he thought my dad owned a theater or something, I assume. And, uh, I went back to my green room and shed a tear.

• 9:51Sam Morril?

  The difference in expression is, you know, like, look at Mark, he's still trying, he's like, maybe I could fake my way through the picture.

• 9:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 9:57Sam Morril?

  Giving the little finger bang, Larry just looks like he ate like something sour.

• 10:03Sam Morril?

  Like he had some expired milk or something, he's just like, uh, uh.

• 10:06Mark Normand?

  He had no idea what that was, and the whole thing lasted about four seconds. Photo got out, and he was like, uh, the, the agent guy was like, "All right, see you later, we did it." And I was like, "You fucking chooch."

• 10:18Speaker 02

  I think in the curbed episode, you're Larry.

• 10:21Sam Morril?

  No.

• 10:22Speaker 02

  I need a signed contract for a handshake, I gotta meet, this is a very Larry thing to do.

• 10:27Sam Morril?

  No, but Larry's the guy who's, there, there's like the episodes where Larry has to write the recommendation, like Larry's the guy who's always...

• 10:33Mark Normand?

  He's put out.

• 10:34Sam Morril?

  He's put out.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  Okay, so Larry's not being put out here.

• 10:37Sam Morril?

  No.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  The real Larry.

• 10:38Sam Morril?

  He's hanging out with, uh, you know, people I haven't seen in years, and some guy he doesn't know.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 10:44Sam Morril?

  I mean, this is, by the way, this could be a curve, but from someone else's perspective.

• 10:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 10:49Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 10:50Mark Normand?

  I gotta tell you, it ruined my, my set a little bit, cause I was so, like, in my head about it. But whatever, we got the photo, when he dies, I'll tell, I'll change the story, and I'll, I'll be like, we, we, we had a great time. And I opened for him and all that. So then, uh...

• 11:04Sam Morril?

  That's what, DeVito's dad was whacked by the mob, and he's like, "That's the worst thing I've ever seen."

• 11:08Mark Normand?

  That's true. Yeah, DeVito wanted to meet him too. I mean, we thought it was gonna be like an easy going like, "Hey Larry, nice to meet you. Great show. We're on After You. Uh, big fan, yada, yada."

• 11:18Sam Morril?

  That's a good picture. Look at that. Jerry's looking serious too.

• 11:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. These guys are getting old.

• 11:23Sam Morril?

  Did you tell Jerry?

• 11:24Mark Normand?

  I told him I met him and I didn't unload the whole thing on him, cuz it was, we were like in the wings.

• 11:30Sam Morril?

  Are they still close or no?

• 11:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They talk all the time and he loves Larry.

• 11:35Sam Morril?

  Then the next curb is like Mark then meets him again, has to pretend he never met him and Larry's like, "Where do I know you from?"

• 11:42Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 11:42Sam Morril?

  That's the next.

• 11:44Mark Normand?

  "I met him at Schumer's wedding. I was gonna bring that up. I mean, I had so many things to go to and it all went to hell."

• 11:49Sam Morril?

  Damn. You have all these reference points.

• 11:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah. It just shows you reality is unbeatable. Like, you have all this fantasy in your head, but reality is what reality is and it's not gonna change.

• 12:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 12:02Mark Normand?

  You can't beat it, but...

• 12:03Sam Morril?

  Sorry, dude.

• 12:04Mark Normand?

  But...

• 12:04Sam Morril?

  But you know what? It's, here's the thing about being a comic. Even when something like that happens, you get a story.

• 12:10Mark Normand?

  I got a story out of it, totally.

• 12:12Sam Morril?

  That's the beautiful thing. You either meet your hero and you have a great time, or you get a story.

• 12:17Mark Normand?

  Yes. And at least Larry is still cool in my eyes. The other guy I hate. It's not like, "Oh, you can't meet your heroes." No, no, you can't meet their agents. That's the takeaway. So...

• 12:27Sam Morril?

  They take 10% of your money and 90% of your joy.

• 12:30Mark Normand?

  Yes. You're all right.

• 12:32Sam Morril?

  You're all right. So, tell me, how was this benefit with Jerry and Gaffigan and all these guys?

• 12:38Mark Normand?

  Jon Stewart. Well, so I text the Q's, the mole, the gorilla. This guy can just slide in anywhere. He's a slippery minx, this fucker. And, uh...

• 12:49Sam Morril?

  That's a good one.

• 12:50Mark Normand?

  That's a great one.

• 12:50Sam Morril?

  You threw on the suit!

• 12:51Mark Normand?

  I had to.

• 12:52Sam Morril?

  That's a nice one.

• 12:53Mark Normand?

  Gaffigan fucked me on this one. But this...

• 12:56Sam Morril?

  What'd he do?

• 12:57Mark Normand?

  This was a 180 compared to the Larry. This was an amazing night. Everything was awesome.

• 13:00Sam Morril?

  How'd Gaffigan fuck you?

• 13:01Mark Normand?

  Gaffigan, I texted him at noon the day of and I go, "What do we wear to this?" It's kinda formal. It's at Lincoln Center. And he goes, "Oh, go suit, no tie. That's the move." And I go, "Oh, all right." He's like, "That's what I'm wearing." I show up. He's dressed like Kim Jong-un. And, uh, he's got a sweatpants on, like a loose zipper jacket. And he was like, "Yeah, I had a change of heart." And I was like, "You fuck me."

• 13:22Sam Morril?

  Change of heart?

• 13:23Mark Normand?

  "I'm wearing a monkey suit out here."

• 13:25Sam Morril?

  No, you look good.

• 13:26Mark Normand?

  Hey, thanks. But those shoes are so uncomfortable.

• 13:29Speaker 02

  Mark was leaving the place and he was like, "Damn it, Jim Jong-un." He came up in the line way after on the walk home.

• 13:36Mark Normand?

  Well, one of the great moments of the night is Seinfeld's like, we were making fun of Jim's outfit. And we're like, who does he, what is he? And I was like, maybe a cult leader? And he's like, yeah, that's not bad. I go valet, eh? And then, right as the night's about to end, Jerry goes, Korean dictator. And I was like, that's it, that's it. We had a great moment. And then I thought of on the subway home, Jim Jong-un.

• 13:56Sam Morril?

  I like Norman's brain scanning, his like messy plemmons.

• 14:01Mark Normand?

  That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Messy plemmons is big.

• 14:06Sam Morril?

  Alright.

• 14:07Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 14:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah, Stuart looking cool. I wouldn't expect him to rock like a, like a cool suede look.

• 14:12Mark Normand?

  Well, here's the irony of Stuart. He did the Daily Show that night in a suit, took the suit off to come to this.

• 14:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 14:18Mark Normand?

  So I'm like, I didn't know we could do that. I would have worn my Hooters shirt.

• 14:21Sam Morril?

  Oh, that looks great.

• 14:22Mark Normand?

  That's accused.

• 14:23Sam Morril?

  So where's, where was the show?

• 14:25Mark Normand?

  Lincoln Center, um, sold out, beautiful theater, state of the art. And got the green room with Jerry, with Jim. And we just had a great time.

• 14:35Sam Morril?

  What the hell are these pictures you have in your, in your messages? I just saw a guy's pant line in there.

• 14:39Mark Normand?

  That was Ronnie Chang.

• 14:41Sam Morril?

  Oh, okay.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  I was looking for a photo of that center mark.

• 14:44Sam Morril?

  Alright. You have a hot set on there?

• 14:47Mark Normand?

  Eh, the crowd wasn't great. I did pretty good considering like some, two guys, I'm not gonna say who.

• 14:53Sam Morril?

  You know who?

• 14:54Mark Normand?

  It's only four guys. Well, you gotta still figure it out. But I'm not saying who.

• 15:00Sam Morril?

  I, I know who killed.

• 15:01Mark Normand?

  Seinfeld crushed.

• 15:04Sam Morril?

  I know it's gonna be my guess.

• 15:06Mark Normand?

  Hey, bleep that, don't say it. The two guys struggled.

• 15:09Sam Morril?

  Did you go bullet?

• 15:10Mark Normand?

  Of course.

• 15:11Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:11Mark Normand?

  Fucking Norah Jones is supposed to go first, cause she's doing a piano piece. And then she goes, I don't wanna go first. So they were like, hey, hey, dickless.

• 15:18Sam Morril?

  Do you really wanna, do you really wanna follow Norah Jones anyway?

• 15:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I guess you're right.

• 15:22Sam Morril?

  Following music is tough.

• 15:23Mark Normand?

  She killed too. She was like a tear, not a dry eye in the house.

• 15:26Sam Morril?

  She's talented.

• 15:27Mark Normand?

  Very talented, very attractive.

• 15:28Sam Morril?

  Would you?

• 15:29Mark Normand?

  Would I?

• 15:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 15:30Mark Normand?

  Well, I'd fuck Jon Stewart.

• 15:34Mark Normand?

  But I talked to Stuart about Tony Hinchcliffe. I got some great time with Stuart.

• 15:38Sam Morril?

  He's a cool guy.

• 15:39Mark Normand?

  Great guy, nice guy.

• 15:40Sam Morril?

  Very cool, like, I don't think, our generation may not know like, what a killer stand-up he was.

• 15:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 15:47Sam Morril?

  He had some funny shit back in the day.

• 15:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, totally. But you know what it was? It's a, it's a room full of vets and rich elites, so it was kinda like liberal, uh, right-wing split. So he went right on the election, because this is two weeks ago. And people are just like, enough with the, we don't wanna do this right now. My leg's blown off. You're shitting on my guy, you're shitting on my gal.

• 16:08Sam Morril?

  That would be the best heckle. Dude, my leg's blown off. Come on. He just freezes, ah, fuck.

• 16:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah. This is, this is us going, hey, you hired Tony, you're gonna get Tony. I'm like, ah, you get Tony Hinchcliffe. And John's like, that's what I'm saying.

• 16:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 16:22Mark Normand?

  So, that is Justin Theroux.

• 16:24Sam Morril?

  Big gigs, man. Yeah, when you do those big gigs, like, of course, Mark and I, like, we're the, we're the small guys on, we're the young guys.

• 16:31Mark Normand?

  Of course.

• 16:32Sam Morril?

  I went bullet on Garden of Dreams, and I remember being like, just fucking bring the heat.

• 16:36Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 16:36Sam Morril?

  Set the tone. I remember Greg Giraldo used to do those, uh, those roasts. He always went first. And it's like, set the tone.

• 16:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 16:43Sam Morril?

  Do what you can do.

• 16:43Mark Normand?

  It's a bit of a compliment, because you're reliable, too. You're, you're the new guy, but reliable.

• 16:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 16:48Mark Normand?

  I think. They're not gonna put, uh, you know, just any Joe Schmo up first.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  And then they brought you all out on stage in the end, right?

• 16:56Sam Morril?

  Did you riff with them? I saw mics.

• 16:57Mark Normand?

  I did. Now, you wanna play the video? Oh, yeah. So, this was, uh, I'm just watching Bruce, I'm watching Seinfeld, like, hey, how cool is this? Seinfeld's killed. And, uh, he has some great stuff, I'll tell you later, I don't wanna spill his material, but, uh, then they go, here's your cordless mic. And I go, what's this for? I'm done. And they go, we're gonna put you all out there together, so we can flip the room, or flip the...

• 17:17Sam Morril?

  Did you start drinking already?

• 17:19Mark Normand?

  A little, yeah.

• 17:20Sam Morril?

  I know the feeling.

• 17:21Mark Normand?

  But I am so out of place. I should not be on stage with these guys. These are all legends, they're all sixty-five plus.

• 17:27Sam Morril?

  You're, you're, I'm sure they loved you out there with them, man, come on.

• 17:31Speaker 02

  They did.

• 17:31Mark Normand?

  Uh, well, I, I did, it's a tough thing, because you're like, do I say something, or do I not say something? If you don't say something, you're like the quiet weirdo. But if you do say something, if you're like, why are you talking?

• 17:41Sam Morril?

  The tough thing is when you wait too long, and then they're like, oh, there you are.

• 17:44Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes. So Jon Stewart luckily referenced me. He goes, we're a boy band now, and this is our newest member, and that got a little pop. And I was like, this is my chance. Hit it.

• 17:55Speaker 03

  We're going to... Yes, so we're going to...

• 18:00Speaker 03

  We just finally found a younger singer.

• 18:05Mark Normand?

  Thank you. I used to do ditty parties. This is an upgrade.

• 18:10Sam Morril?

  I love it. Perfect.

• 18:11Mark Normand?

  Good to be here. I escaped.

• 18:18Mark Normand?

  Alright. So that was a Jon Stewart referencing, we have the same system, we held up a paddle, because they did an auction right before that, so it was like a callback to the auction. We hold up a paddle and fuck him, or whatever.

• 18:28Sam Morril?

  That's amazing, dude.

• 18:29Mark Normand?

  But I got a line in and I got out, so.

• 18:32Sam Morril?

  That is beautiful.

• 18:33Mark Normand?

  Terrifying.

• 18:34Sam Morril?

  Terrifying.

• 18:35Mark Normand?

  But what a night and a complete 180 from the, uh, from the Larry thing, because all it was, was backstage. The set was secondary, just hanging out with Jerry and Gaffigan and Stewart. Good times. And then watching Bruce was, was pretty, that was a treat.

• 18:47Sam Morril?

  That is pretty cool. Never seen him live.

• 18:50Mark Normand?

  Unbelievable. I mean, the voice was great. Hey, little, little buddy, hoota, hoota, hoota, hoota.

• 18:57Speaker 02

  Don't judge based on this, it was pretty good. Also, he told jokes in between songs.

• 19:01Mark Normand?

  Told three street jokes and killed.

• 19:03Sam Morril?

  Two miscarriage jokes and, uh...

• 19:07Sam Morril?

  One about Gaza, it was kinda weird.

• 19:09Mark Normand?

  There was one point where we're all watching Bruce and we're zinging and zanging to each other, and Seinfeld goes, "We should probably watch this, right?" And I was like, "Oh yeah, good point." It was so much fun bullshitting with the comics that we're like, "Bruce Springsteen's on stage, we should listen."

• 19:20Sam Morril?

  Oh, that's pretty cool, man.

• 19:22Mark Normand?

  And then Seinfeld goes, "What are you doing tomorrow?" I go, "Ah, I got a couple podcasts, uh, I gotta do some writing." I go, "What are you gonna do?" He goes, "I'm gonna sleep in and watch the, uh, the Red Sox doc on Netflix." And you're like, "Oh, man, this guy's, he's just a normal guy."

• 19:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah, as a Mets fan, you can watch that, as a Yankee. That fucking hurt.

• 19:42Mark Normand?

  Uh, yeah, that's true.

• 19:43Sam Morril?

  But I'm sure the doc is cool.

• 19:45Mark Normand?

  You know, in Japan, they watched, like, we watched the World Series, but in Japan it was like, times eight. They love baseball so much because of that Otani guy.

• 19:54Sam Morril?

  Well, yeah, they have other great players. I mean, fuck, isn't Ichiro Japanese?

• 19:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 19:58Sam Morril?

  I mean, he was the, he was the guy.

• 20:00Mark Normand?

  I thought they were the same person. Alright. But, yeah.

• 20:04Sam Morril?

  Oh, I gotta tell ya, I did Seth Meyers.

• 20:05Mark Normand?

  Yes! What a week!

• 20:07Sam Morril?

  We drank the whiskey together.

• 20:08Mark Normand?

  Ah, pull it up!

• 20:09Sam Morril?

  Panel is so much easier.

• 20:11Mark Normand?

  Is it really?

• 20:12Sam Morril?

  Oh my god, cuz like, you're following, I followed like, the kid from Cobra Kai. So it's like, so it's like, he's charming as hell, but it's like, it's a different gear.

• 20:20Mark Normand?

  Wow, we got a Jew and then Jiu-Jitsu.

• 20:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 20:23Mark Normand?

  Look at that!

• 20:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's probably on YouTube.

• 20:26Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 20:27Sam Morril?

  You can just get the beginning of me being like, he tried Bodega Cat, he loved it. He was like, I brought in a mostly drank bottle, which I thought was kinda fun.

• 20:35Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 20:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he was a cool fucker.

• 20:38Mark Normand?

  Hey, there it is!

• 20:40Sam Morril?

  Yeah, just go, I think the verb again, he pulls it out.

• 20:42Mark Normand?

  His streaming on Prime Video, you can see him live next year on the Errors Tour. Tickets are available through samreel.com, please go over to the show, Sam Rille, everybody.

• 20:51Sam Morril?

  Here we go. Look at him. Yeah, this is all important, me walking. Look at him!

• 20:55Mark Normand?

  Good outfit.

• 20:57Sam Morril?

  Handsome, deadly, yeah.

• 20:59Mark Normand?

  I'll say, I saw Seth Meyers perform at the Beacon, he's got jokes.

• 21:02Sam Morril?

  He's fucking funny, dude.

• 21:04Mark Normand?

  Great writer.

• 21:04Sam Morril?

  And he's like, paged the stage, he's not like, a guy who like, I do shit in a lot of comics who don't do the road hard, but he actually, maybe it's cuz he was like, an SNL writer guy, but he just like, he just has jokes.

• 21:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he loves jokes and he pumps them out.

• 21:17Sam Morril?

  Here it is with the new bottle and everything.

• 21:19Mark Normand?

  Wow!

• 21:19Sam Morril?

  He's called Bodega Cat, and I uh...

• 21:21Mark Normand?

  Right in there! That's fantastic, I think we have a couple glasses here, will you have some with me?

• 21:25Sam Morril?

  Good dude. It was full when I brought it, by the way, your interns are crazy.

• 21:30Mark Normand?

  I will say, this is the first time someone's held up a bottle that is this empty. What uh, how many years have you had it?

• 21:36Sam Morril?

  It's been a few years.

• 21:37Mark Normand?

  And uh, was this because you were drinking it anyway? Nice cups.

• 21:41Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 21:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah, just cool, and this is like, it's called Bodega Cat, it's like a city whiskey, this is a great drinking city.

• 21:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:48Sam Morril?

  You can just cab home, I was, I was leaving my friend's house at 6 a.m. the other night, I uh, I was hammered. I hail a cab, and, I mean, I'm stumbling. And the driver sees me and he just goes, LaGuardia? And, you know, I don't have any luggage, I'm stumbling. But I was so bombed, I was just like, yeah. So, he starts driving me to the airport and I'm just, I'm gone. And I started sobering up like halfway through and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. JFK.

• 22:19Mark Normand?

  That's a great joke.

• 22:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, that was, we were leaving Michael Che's place that night at like 5 or 6 a.m. Wasted, he poured us Blue Label.

• 22:26Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 22:27Sam Morril?

  And, and I said to him, I was like, you're wasting this shit on us because we are shitfaced.

• 22:31Mark Normand?

  That's right.

• 22:31Sam Morril?

  We would drink gasoline right now. And, and I think I was so drunk, I was like boxing you out in the hallway. We were like fucking doing like, just like, you know, dude shit.

• 22:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 22:42Sam Morril?

  Drunk as hell. And we split ways and that's when I got in the cab and the guy fucking drove me to LaGuardia.

• 22:47Mark Normand?

  That's amazing.

• 22:48Sam Morril?

  But, uh, yeah, you want to get the joke, you want to get to the jokes like immediately.

• 22:51Mark Normand?

  Of course. Now, tell me about the producer, because I've never done the couch. Is it, are they up your ass, like, that story sucks, that's too blue, what's?

• 22:58Sam Morril?

  No, they're cool. They, pretty much everything, they were like, just say whatever, we'll bleep it or we'll cut it.

• 23:02Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 23:03Sam Morril?

  Cut it, I don't want to use, you know, I only got like six, seven minutes.

• 23:05Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 23:06Sam Morril?

  But I said, uh, I had one comment where they pulled up an old picture of me on America's Got Talent. I had like curly bangs and I was like, ugh, look at me, I fucking look like Julius Caesar's hipster younger brother with AIDS. And they, they were like, I just got an email after the show, uh, great segment, uh, just a heads up, we cut AIDS. That's all the emails.

• 23:26Sam Morril?

  What a, what an email. But they were cool as hell and, uh, no, the producer's great. They were like, just tell us stories. Couple, like, I had a couple of news stories I want to tell, but I'm like, eh, they're not like ready to, you want, you want endings, you want?

• 23:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah. No, I think that's a perfect story because it went with the booze, it's a drunk story, it's perfect.

• 23:44Sam Morril?

  And also AGT is good because it's like on NBC and shit.

• 23:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 23:48Sam Morril?

  I was like, I'll just do that.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  Is this the first time you ever did one of these shows without doing stand-up first?

• 23:52Sam Morril?

  Uh, well, yeah, I did Letterman. No, I did Daily Show back in the, I did Daily Show a while back when Trevor was hosting, but uh, and then I did, I did the Letterman Netflix thing, but I did stand-up before, but that, but the show was to be on the couch. So it wasn't, it wasn't like back in the day where you do like, you know, a danger real thing and then like a quick thing on the couch. It was like, it was a longer time on the couch than stand-up. And it was way more fun doing couch, cause you're like, there's lower pressure, you kind of, cause you have moments where you're like, oh, I could riff with Letterman.

• 24:20Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 24:22Sam Morril?

  There's less pressure.

• 24:23Mark Normand?

  That's true, man. That, that looks fun. Now I want to do it.

• 24:26Sam Morril?

  You will do it. I'm sure you could do it whenever.

• 24:28Mark Normand?

  Uh, well, I tried Fallon, had no dice, but Seth Meyers seems more laid back and chill than.

• 24:33Sam Morril?

  He's, he knows that I've done shows with people, you know, you know when you do like a podcast with someone, you're like, they're just not, you're doing someone's, like you're a guest on someone's podcast, they just don't set you up.

• 24:42Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 24:43Sam Morril?

  They're, you're just kind of, they're just like, oh, just go. And you're like, alright.

• 24:46Mark Normand?

  And Fallon makes you do karaoke and ping pong with Snooki. I'd rather that.

• 24:51Sam Morril?

  Well, he wouldn't make you do that.

• 24:52Mark Normand?

  Ah, no.

• 24:53Sam Morril?

  No one wants to see you do that shit. They want to see, they want to see like, you know, Katy Perry do that.

• 24:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true. I can do beer pong.

• 24:59Sam Morril?

  That would be fucking fun.

• 25:00Mark Normand?

  Hey.

• 25:01Sam Morril?

  You beat Fallon though, is the question?

• 25:02Mark Normand?

  No, he's a booze bag. He would bury me.

• 25:05Sam Morril?

  But you know, uh, no, those shows are like, you also in those shows, you're usually following, I don't know, you're following someone who's not a comic.

• 25:14Mark Normand?

  Of course, Cobra Kai.

• 25:15Sam Morril?

  But stand-up on those shows is like, every word's got to count with like panel, you can kind of build to something.

• 25:23Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 25:24Sam Morril?

  And you could play off them a little too.

• 25:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and it's so much more conversational. Stand-up, you walk out and there's been no stand-up and you're like, so I was in a cab the other day and they're like, whoa, it's kind of jarring. This is just so natural. It's organic.

• 25:35Sam Morril?

  Dude, and also Seth is, he just understands comedy. So he's like, he knows not to step on you.

• 25:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 25:40Sam Morril?

  He knows I'm, there's like another line coming.

• 25:43Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 25:43Sam Morril?

  If I'm trying to build to something, he, yeah, no, it's, I still love, I miss shows, I did Are You Garbage Live the other day and I was like, I like doing things with like an audience.

• 25:52Mark Normand?

  It's the best.

• 25:53Sam Morril?

  It's fun.

• 25:54Mark Normand?

  It's fun. That is, was it the Gramercy?

• 25:56Sam Morril?

  It was at Chelsea Music Hall.

• 25:57Mark Normand?

  Oh, nice.

• 25:58Sam Morril?

  That's why we ran into that guy who said he wants to carry Bodega Cat. Dude, Bodega Cat's fucking moving.

• 26:02Mark Normand?

  It's moving, baby.

• 26:03Sam Morril?

  We're moving with this shit.

• 26:04Mark Normand?

  Moving product. Every time I get a text from Matt Herman, our distributor, I feel like, uh, Ray Liotta in the shower. I'm like,

• 26:12Mark Normand?

  Jimmy, but I'm like Sammy.

• 26:15Sam Morril?

  How funny would it be though if this fucker Kaiser Soze'd us and just took all our money?

• 26:18Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 26:19Sam Morril?

  Cause Mark and I are all in financially on this.

• 26:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 26:22Sam Morril?

  Fifty fifty partners now. We bought out our other partner. We are in the red right now.

• 26:26Mark Normand?

  Lot of moolah.

• 26:26Sam Morril?

  Lot of moolah. We're in the red right now and it would be hilarious if this like sweet, seemingly competent guy just fucked up our lives.

• 26:34Mark Normand?

  He's a cute little nerdy guy. He's always anxious and uncomfortable and nebbishy. And this guy could be Kaiser Soze-ing us right out of our savings account.

• 26:42Sam Morril?

  He's listening to this podcast with a cigarette like, yeah, I'm fucking nerdy. Yeah, I'm gonna rip you fuckers to shreds.

• 26:47Mark Normand?

  He's fucking your lady right now. He's like, ah, these guys have no idea. Yeah, I wouldn't use my lady, but they're cousins. That's why I went with yours.

• 26:55Sam Morril?

  That's even darker.

• 26:56Mark Normand?

  Ah, that's true. It's his baby.

• 27:00Sam Morril?

  His first words were, duh?

• 27:04Sam Morril?

  Oof, that was rough. Sorry. Sorry about that one, guys.

• 27:06Mark Normand?

  I've been sitting on a hipster Julius Caesar, uh, they them brute?

• 27:11Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 27:13Sam Morril?

  That's a good one.

• 27:14Mark Normand?

  Those 20 minutes I was waiting to get there.

• 27:16Sam Morril?

  He's like, I'm not working back to Caesar.

• 27:20Mark Normand?

  When I was in high school, the Caesar cut was popular. Remember that?

• 27:23Sam Morril?

  It's awful.

• 27:24Mark Normand?

  It was awful.

• 27:25Sam Morril?

  Who was like, were there any like big actors who had that shit?

• 27:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, George Michael had it.

• 27:30Mark Normand?

  George Michael?

• 27:31Sam Morril?

  Jason Tatum, the basketball player for a minute, kinda had it.

• 27:33Mark Normand?

  Ooh. Yeah, it's my high school yearbook photo is me with the Caesar. No, that's no good.

• 27:41Sam Morril?

  That's not the Caesar. That's the big boss man. Remember that wrestler?

• 27:44Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 27:44Sam Morril?

  That was when wrestlers were like the most uncreative.

• 27:47Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 27:47Sam Morril?

  It was like Ted DiBiase was just a guy with money.

• 27:50Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 27:51Sam Morril?

  Billy Nellie, man. Then they had IRS. He was just like, he was like, I'm the IRS guy. You're like, well, how uncreative.

• 27:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 27:56Sam Morril?

  They're just thinking of shit people hate.

• 27:58Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 27:59Sam Morril?

  Like, I'm the herpes man.

• 28:02Mark Normand?

  Then one guy was just Iranian.

• 28:03Sam Morril?

  I know.

• 28:06Mark Normand?

  That was it, that was it. I had that cut. It was not that short on the sides.

• 28:09Sam Morril?

  Oh dude, I had to, pull up the AGT photo, it's awful. Just pull, look up Samerl AGT. It's like a curly Caesar.

• 28:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 28:16Sam Morril?

  It's awful.

• 28:16Mark Normand?

  Well, I was ashamed of my curly hair as a kid, because everybody would go curly Q, curly Sue, brillo head.

• 28:22Sam Morril?

  That's fucking awful.

• 28:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, it hits the forehead.

• 28:25Sam Morril?

  What was I thinking?

• 28:27Mark Normand?

  That was a different time.

• 28:28Sam Morril?

  That was like what I thought a nice outfit was back then, too.

• 28:30Mark Normand?

  Hilarious, it's a hoodie.

• 28:32Speaker 02

  By the way, you're wearing the same thing today.

• 28:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 28:34Mark Normand?

  Ah, that's not a hoodie.

• 28:35Sam Morril?

  That's like a, there was like 5,000 people in the crowd there. I could have, I could have maybe, I could have maybe tried a little bit.

• 28:41Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 28:42Sam Morril?

  I could have worn a fucking hoodie with one fucking string.

• 28:46Mark Normand?

  That's more normal.

• 28:47Sam Morril?

  That's a good shirt, it's a nice, yeah. Conan, you tried it. That was like our first example of like trying to look nice.

• 28:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah, true. I put on, that was the first time you put on a button down ever.

• 28:58Sam Morril?

  And then Fallon, the suit, and then people tell us, like, oh, my first suit, and I think I did Colbert in my first suit, I looked like shit.

• 29:04Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 29:05Sam Morril?

  I didn't know you had to get a suit that fit.

• 29:07Mark Normand?

  Same.

• 29:07Sam Morril?

  It was like, yeah, tailoring was like foreign to me.

• 29:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah, pull up his Colbert suit and pull up my Fallon suit. That's a nice suit.

• 29:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but pull up Colbert, that's fucking, that's a bad one.

• 29:17Mark Normand?

  It was a little big, I remember.

• 29:19Sam Morril?

  It was awful.

• 29:21Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, look at that, the Mormon. You look like you're selling bibles in that thing.

• 29:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I remember Burt Kreischer was like, you should never wear a suit. You know what's rough when a guy who doesn't wear clothes is telling you not to wear a suit?

• 29:33Mark Normand?

  Right, right. Um, damn, that's a good point. But the hair looked good in that one. Oh, there you go, a little Rodney.

• 29:40Speaker 02

  Looks like Rodney.

• 29:41Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we're a Republican congressman.

• 29:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you got a senator thing. Is that Paul Ryan?

• 29:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah, let's see, pull up Norman. What show?

• 29:51Mark Normand?

  Fallon, my first Fallon.

• 29:52Sam Morril?

  You look good though in it though.

• 29:53Mark Normand?

  Well, it was a gray suit. I got it at Topman in Soho for like $70. It was so cheap, but it didn't fit. They had to, they had to, uh, they had to pull the sleeves in.

• 30:02Sam Morril?

  I don't know, it looks kinda good actually. I thought you looked good in this one.

• 30:04Mark Normand?

  Well, they, they fixed it for me, because, uh, it was loosey goosey.

• 30:09Sam Morril?

  I don't see the problem here. What, do you?

• 30:11Mark Normand?

  I got about 74 pins.

• 30:12Speaker 02

  The black tie doesn't go well with it.

• 30:13Mark Normand?

  The four pins in the sleeve, and then they, the sleeves had to turn in like this, the cuffs.

• 30:18Sam Morril?

  Oh wow.

• 30:18Mark Normand?

  Because they were way too long. It was, it was a mess.

• 30:20Sam Morril?

  How about that black one there? That looks good.

• 30:22Mark Normand?

  That was when I actually got a couple bucks together and bought a suit. But that, even that suit's shit now.

• 30:27Sam Morril?

  You know what's funny? That you spend money on these suits and then like you think you look good and every comment's like, "Why the fuck's he wearing a suit?"

• 30:33Mark Normand?

  I know, I know.

• 30:34Sam Morril?

  You really think you pulled it together.

• 30:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 30:36Sam Morril?

  Every comment's like, "You're not a fucking suit guy."

• 30:38Mark Normand?

  The only good one is my aunt, like, "You look sharp." "I'll get one of those."

• 30:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah, if you wanna fuck a 60-year-old in the Midwest. You're looking, you're looking right.

• 30:47Mark Normand?

  I just, uh, the Mulaney's first special came on the other day and he's, his whole opening is about his suit. He's like, "So, I got my first communion, blah, blah, blah. I look like a tall boy." So, we have to address it. It's like a weird thing that comedians in a suit is strange.

• 31:01Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but now it's hard to picture Mulaney in like a bomber.

• 31:03Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 31:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and he's in like a good-fitting suit.

• 31:07Mark Normand?

  That's a hell of a suit.

• 31:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's like a nice-

• 31:08Speaker 02

  Is he tall? He gives the appearance of being tall and thin, but-

• 31:11Mark Normand?

  Six even.

• 31:11Speaker 02

  Oh, that's alright.

• 31:12Mark Normand?

  He has a joke about it. That's the only reason.

• 31:13Sam Morril?

  But he has, yeah, but he's like very thin, so...

• 31:16Mark Normand?

  But he's a, uh, dapper guy. I mean, look at that. He just did, I think he won GQ, Man of the Year, and it's all just sexy sweaters and pants and-

• 31:26Sam Morril?

  At what point is that a problem for your comedy?

• 31:28Mark Normand?

  Oooh!

• 31:29Sam Morril?

  Because we are not supposed to be cool. Oh, yeah, he looks like good. That's the thing.

• 31:33Mark Normand?

  It works on him.

• 31:33Sam Morril?

  It does. But it's like, at what point is that, cause like, in your head, I think we're not supposed to think of ourselves as cool.

• 31:40Mark Normand?

  A hundred percent. If I was wearing this, I'd kill myself.

• 31:42Sam Morril?

  But, but also-

• 31:43Mark Normand?

  Not that it looks bad. I just couldn't pull it off.

• 31:45Sam Morril?

  No-

• 31:45Mark Normand?

  Look at this!

• 31:46Sam Morril?

  No, the thing is, you could pull it off, but then you have to get in a state of mind where you're like, "Think cool."

• 31:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I don't have that.

• 31:52Sam Morril?

  As opposed to like, "This is ridiculous."

• 31:54Mark Normand?

  I just hear my high school buddies in my ear going, "Hey, you jerk off. You think you'd pull this off? You fucking queef. Who do you think you are?"

• 32:00Sam Morril?

  My girlfriend got me a sweater the other day and I was like, "What are you doing for me?" And she's like, "It's a really nice sweater." I'm like, "Yeah, but I can't fucking wear this."

• 32:06Mark Normand?

  Exactly. That's how I feel. I have a leather jacket hanging up in my house. I got glass around it with a, with a hammer. I'm like, "I can't wear this."

• 32:13Sam Morril?

  Signed by Andrew Dice Clay. You, you, I saw you wear it once.

• 32:16Mark Normand?

  I've worn it like three times.

• 32:17Sam Morril?

  It looked good.

• 32:18Mark Normand?

  Thanks, thanks.

• 32:19Sam Morril?

  But leather jacket is hard not to, even if it's a nice ja- I wore one on a gig with Chrissy D and he was like, "Leather?" He's like, and now you're like, "Oh, out of the gate."

• 32:28Mark Normand?

  Exactly. Then it's in your head the whole night.

• 32:30Sam Morril?

  But I thought it looked cool.

• 32:32Mark Normand?

  With the fur on it?

• 32:34Sam Morril?

  No, it's got no fur.

• 32:34Mark Normand?

  Oh, I thought you had a fur one.

• 32:35Sam Morril?

  I've seen those. Those are fucking cool.

• 32:37Mark Normand?

  Very nice.

• 32:39Sam Morril?

  Is our guest coming, by the way?

• 32:41Mark Normand?

  Ten minutes from now? Okay, shit. We're gonna run into the second guest.

• 32:46Sam Morril?

  Well, maybe we could just start that one. Can we cut all this, obviously, but we can just, we can start that late, right? Yeah, they're not here till four.

• 32:51Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay, okay, we're fine, we're fine. And he'll come in with late energy, which is good, because he'll be on and he'll be grateful, or not grateful, but apologetic.

• 32:59Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and he's got the, he'll bring the, you know, middle relief energy.

• 33:03Mark Normand?

  Yes!

• 33:04Sam Morril?

  Like, ten in pitcher.

• 33:04Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 33:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 33:06Mark Normand?

  Late energies can help.

• 33:07Speaker 02

  Can I tell a quick Mark story?

• 33:08Mark Normand?

  Ahhh.

• 33:10Speaker 02

  So I was, uh...

• 33:12Mark Normand?

  Oh, I got one too. What about you?

• 33:13Speaker 02

  You go first.

• 33:13Mark Normand?

  No, no, you go first.

• 33:14Speaker 02

  Alright, so, uh, I was with Mark the other night and he was playing like a gay room.

• 33:19Mark Normand?

  It was a part of the New York Comedy Fest. It was called My Straight Friends, and it was a gay...

• 33:23Sam Morril?

  Mark had to pretend he didn't know of them already? He's vetoing The Sopranos, like, "Oh, it's a joke!"

• 33:29Mark Normand?

  Ahhh!

• 33:29Sam Morril?

  "It's not, it's a joke!"

• 33:31Mark Normand?

  Cut to me in the car later?

• 33:33Sam Morril?

  What?

• 33:36Mark Normand?

  Alright, pull that scene up.

• 33:37Sam Morril?

  And, uh... Pull that up for after.

• 33:39Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 33:40Sam Morril?

  Just a scene in the club.

• 33:41Speaker 02

  Okay. Um, so, uh...

• 33:43Mark Normand?

  Oh, the club!

• 33:44Speaker 02

  He starts, uh, out his set, and like, seventy percent of his regular jokes is about gay stuff.

• 33:52Mark Normand?

  I got a lot of gay jokes.

• 33:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. So I was, I was like, "Is he gonna do like, his gay material in front of these gay guys?" And he starts, and I see him doing it, and he's like stuttering just a little bit.

• 34:01Mark Normand?

  I was nervous.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  A little nervous, and then he went right into it, and they went nuts.

• 34:05Mark Normand?

  I leaned in.

• 34:06Speaker 02

  So I saw him afterwards, I saw him downstairs, and I was like, "I saw you like stutter step there for a second. You're gonna have to bleep this, I'm sorry, Matt." And he's like, "Yeah, yeah." I just said to myself, "Come on, do it!"

• 34:19Speaker 02

  "Get over it!" I was, I was dying when he said that.

• 34:23Sam Morril?

  I mean...

• 34:24Speaker 02

  Because that's, that's really his internal monologue.

• 34:25Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 34:26Speaker 02

  "From your friends."

• 34:26Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 34:27Speaker 02

  "1998 or whatever."

• 34:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, you're right, and it, and it worked.

• 34:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's, I mean, those rooms during the fest can be tough, too. And to be nervous and take a chance. I had the exact opposite thing happen.

• 34:40Mark Normand?

  Uh oh.

• 34:41Sam Morril?

  I did the Katz's Deli show.

• 34:43Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:44Sam Morril?

  I bombed so hard.

• 34:45Mark Normand?

  Really? That's your Mecca?

• 34:47Sam Morril?

  I just killed at, uh, that's why it hurts. I've now bombed in the Strand bookstore.

• 34:52Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 34:52Sam Morril?

  I bombed in Katz's Deli. I've bombed in like some New York landmarks. I'm like, these are places I love.

• 34:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 34:59Sam Morril?

  What's next? I'm gonna bomb in the Garden Floor? You know, the Knicks locker room, they're fucking heckling me.

• 35:03Mark Normand?

  Stocking shade.

• 35:04Sam Morril?

  Dude, I had, I, I, it went late. The show went late, I can say that for after. But the show went late and, uh, it started at 10. I'm there at like 11 and people keep cutting in front of me. It's one of those things where they're like, I got a thing.

• 35:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 35:19Sam Morril?

  All right. And then I see Louis at the Cellar and Louis is like, oh, I'm doing that Katz's Deli show with you after. And I was like, oh, cool. But in my head, I'm like, he's like, yeah, yeah, I think I'm going after you. And I'm like, all right, thank God.

• 35:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 35:27Sam Morril?

  But then I get there, Louis like swung on and he didn't, I think he thought I went on already.

• 35:32Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 35:32Sam Morril?

  He did like 30.

• 35:33Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 35:34Sam Morril?

  And I'm like, fuck. I'm in the back just like, I, I had already had half a sandwich, a huge.

• 35:39Mark Normand?

  Huge.

• 35:39Sam Morril?

  And I was like, fuck it, bring another one out.

• 35:41Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 35:42Sam Morril?

  And I started pounding, I started doing picklebacks with Bodega Cat.

• 35:45Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 35:46Sam Morril?

  With their pickle juice, which is fucking.

• 35:47Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 35:48Sam Morril?

  I'm like, this is iconic, but I am miserable. Then, yeah.

• 35:51Mark Normand?

  Iconic.

• 35:52Sam Morril?

  That's what, that's what happened to me, yeah. And then.

• 35:54Mark Normand?

  Pickleback.

• 35:54Sam Morril?

  Marcelo is, you know, from SNL is, is like, I gotta shoot tomorrow at 6 a.m. And I was like, go ahead.

• 36:01Mark Normand?

  And he kills, big energy.

• 36:02Sam Morril?

  He killed and the ladies are going nuts. And I'm like, I, in my head, I'm like, I'm dead in the water. I know, it's, I look at my clock, it's like 12:09. And I'm like, two, over two hours into a show, they're tired.

• 36:13Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 36:14Sam Morril?

  Tired. I just keep trying, but I just keep, it's like drowning where you're just like, uh, uh, uh. And I'm just fucking bombing and, uh, it's like, what do you do?

• 36:23Speaker 02

  It's also a tough room. Not Katz's, but like that crowd that they get, they're kinda like well off and hip.

• 36:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 36:30Speaker 02

  And they're not, like, they're into themselves more than the performers sometimes.

• 36:33Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 36:34Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Marcelo did well.

• 36:39Sam Morril?

  But I, uh, no, I, I, I kinda got him toward the end, but it was one of those where I'm like, let me make my exit quietly.

• 36:45Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 36:46Sam Morril?

  You know?

• 36:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah, damn, what happened? Do you think it, they just, the energy shift was too much?

• 36:51Sam Morril?

  Maybe, yeah, it's like, fuck, all his charisma to then to me.

• 36:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 36:55Sam Morril?

  You know, I'm like, that ain't helping.

• 36:57Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 36:57Sam Morril?

  And, uh, late, tired.

• 36:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, true.

• 37:00Sam Morril?

  I think they wanted the night to be over, and I think also you just, sometimes you don't connect.

• 37:03Mark Normand?

  That, that happens all the time.

• 37:05Sam Morril?

  I think I didn't open with the right jokes, and so it's like, you sometimes forget you have to be likable onstage. You're like, well, this mathematically is a good joke.

• 37:11Mark Normand?

  Yes!

• 37:12Sam Morril?

  And it, it just fucking misses.

• 37:14Mark Normand?

  I struggle with that, too.

• 37:15Sam Morril?

  And then you're out, and it's like, there's nothing worse than bombing and hating yourself, but also being full of two pastrami sandwiches.

• 37:21Mark Normand?

  And booze.

• 37:22Sam Morril?

  And booze, and you're like, now do I hate myself? I feel like ill.

• 37:25Mark Normand?

  Right, oh, man.

• 37:27Sam Morril?

  Well, this'll cheer me up.

• 37:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, this was me at that show.

• 37:35Sam Morril?

  This was fucking amazing.

• 37:37Mark Normand?

  Oh, man, go Vito. Is this a stereotype, or do gay guys really do this?

• 37:49Speaker 03

  Oh!

• 37:50Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 37:51Speaker 03

  What the fuck?

• 37:52Speaker 04

  Sal, hey!

• 37:53Mark Normand?

  Dire Straits in the back.

• 37:57Speaker 04

  I was here, it's, it's a joke.

• 37:59Speaker 03

  You're a fucking fag?

• 38:00Speaker 04

  What?

• 38:00Speaker 03

  Buddy, you're fucking watching, cupcake?

• 38:03Mark Normand?

  Cupcake!

• 38:04Speaker 04

  It's okay.

• 38:05Speaker 03

  You think so?

• 38:06Speaker 04

  Sal, please, it's a fucking joke.

• 38:09Sam Morril?

  Oh, my god.

• 38:10Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 38:11Sam Morril?

  Oh, that was more. This is crazy.

• 38:13Speaker 03

  Say hi to your wife.

• 38:15Speaker 04

  I'm serious, I'm, Sal, please!

• 38:19Mark Normand?

  Oof.

• 38:19Speaker 03

  Don't say nothing, Sal!

• 38:22Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 38:23Speaker 03

  Fuck those jerks, what do you care what they think?

• 38:28Speaker 04

  What? Leave me to fuck alone.

• 38:31Sam Morril?

  Oh, he just shifted. That's sad.

• 38:33Mark Normand?

  That is a sad scene.

• 38:34Sam Morril?

  That went from hilarious to just so fucking sad.

• 38:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I feel bad for the guy. I mean, I thought you were gonna show the give it head in the car scene.

• 38:42Sam Morril?

  That's pretty good, too.

• 38:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but, whoo, that was dark. And also, I don't think I've ever seen that Sal guy. Is he in a lot of episodes? Because I feel like they hired him just to be the homophobic Guido.

• 38:53Sam Morril?

  It's a great casting call.

• 38:54Mark Normand?

  Great casting. You don't remember me from Sopranos? I'm the guy who called him to [BLEEP] at the gay bar. That was me.

• 39:02Sam Morril?

  He's like, uh, and by the way, imagine nailing that role. And that's all the only role you ever.

• 39:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I don't recognize that guy.

• 39:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I'm an actor. Says here you only played homophobic man in Bar Scene.

• 39:13Mark Normand?

  Don't get me wrong, he nailed it. There, this was me after the show.

• 39:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's Finn.

• 39:20Sam Morril?

  The nod.

• 39:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, this guy can't catch a break.

• 39:27Mark Normand?

  He can catch a dick, though.

• 39:28Sam Morril?

  If you, if you play them all in succession, it is kind of slapstick. He just keeps running into people. He's sucking dick. He's getting [BLEEP]. He's like, not again.

• 39:39Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 39:40Sam Morril?

  That was one of the darkest ends, though, that he met. I mean, that was fucking crazy. The Phil Leotardo.

• 39:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 39:47Sam Morril?

  So hateable.

• 39:48Mark Normand?

  That's a good way to get around saying retard. This guy's a Leotardo. If the guy's an Italian retard, that's pretty good. Leotardo.

• 39:57Sam Morril?

  Fuck.

• 39:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, I had another thing. You were talking about Cats. Oh, I get it, really. Yes.

• 40:03Sam Morril?

  Yeah, well, I bombed, I bombed that show at Strand, too, which was like another, like, I love Strand Bookstore. That's another New York landmark.

• 40:09Mark Normand?

  Totally.

• 40:10Sam Morril?

  Thank God it didn't bomb at Luger's.

• 40:12Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 40:13Sam Morril?

  That would've sucked. But sometimes those crowds are very, like, I don't want to say, like, precious, but you nailed it, like, those IG type of.

• 40:19Mark Normand?

  Totally, totally.

• 40:20Sam Morril?

  It almost feels like a Miami-type crowd.

• 40:21Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes, exactly. Marcelo's perfect for that cute, energy, kind of.

• 40:27Sam Morril?

  He is funny, though. I know what you mean, but he is, he's a funny dude.

• 40:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:31Sam Morril?

  I see him in that commercial constantly now, the, the platino power.

• 40:35Mark Normand?

  Oh, I haven't, I don't know this.

• 40:36Sam Morril?

  You've never seen this?

• 40:36Mark Normand?

  I don't watch TV anymore.

• 40:38Sam Morril?

  Oh, I watch too much. I watch so much sports that.

• 40:40Mark Normand?

  Well, oh, sports will do it. I'm all in on, like, uh... Youtube and Netflix and streaming, so I never watch commercials.

• 40:49Sam Morril?

  You watching anything good?

• 40:51Mark Normand?

  Well, The Penguin, I gotta say.

• 40:52Sam Morril?

  It is good.

• 40:53Mark Normand?

  Simon Rex recommended it.

• 40:55Sam Morril?

  Same.

• 40:55Mark Normand?

  And Colin Farrell, his performance in it alone is worth the fucking watch.

• 41:01Sam Morril?

  I agree with you 100%. I'm just annoyed that it has to be superhero IP.

• 41:06Mark Normand?

  Agreed.

• 41:07Sam Morril?

  But I agree, it's really good. Kristen Milati's incredible.

• 41:11Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 41:12Sam Morril?

  She's kind of the most interesting character.

• 41:13Mark Normand?

  Totally.

• 41:14Sam Morril?

  Episode 4 is crazy. And also, have you finished it?

• 41:18Mark Normand?

  No.

• 41:19Sam Morril?

  There's like a flashback, I'm not giving anything away, but it's Penguin as a kid. And they cast some little kid who's like, "Yeah, ma, I'm gonna get you a penthouse. You're gonna be up by the Boyd's." You know, and you're just like, oh, here it is.

• 41:36Sam Morril?

  This, I see this commercial constantly.

• 41:38Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 41:39Sam Morril?

  Everywhere.

• 41:52Mark Normand?

  Tradition, I heard.

• 41:56Sam Morril?

  It's a long commercial.

• 41:57Mark Normand?

  I know. Minute thirty.

• 41:59Sam Morril?

  It's like a thirty second version, that's what they're playing.

• 42:01Mark Normand?

  Well, the country's over. I don't even speak the language. But, how good, great, good on them. That's a great ad.

• 42:10Sam Morril?

  Ask him if he's a real baseball fan, he's a huge fan, so that's cool.

• 42:12Speaker 02

  And Shane's new Bud Light ad came up.

• 42:14Mark Normand?

  Oh, let's see that.

• 42:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm just bringing it up. Oh, we got our guests here.

• 42:17Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay. Damn. Our friends are really doing, making moves, it's cool.

• 42:22Sam Morril?

  We got our whiskey.

• 42:23Mark Normand?

  And we got our whiskey, we're making moves too, guys.

• 42:25Sam Morril?

  Peter Luger, baby. And coming to more, we just added a bunch of bars, so it's coming away more bars.

• 42:30Mark Normand?

  We were gonna get in the.

• 42:31Sam Morril?

  Hey, here we go.

• 42:32Mark Normand?

  Hey, what's shaking?

• 42:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah, come on, just come in.

• 42:36Sam Morril?

  Use the bathroom, yeah, yeah, back there. Hey, what's up, dude?

• 42:38Mark Normand?

  Hey, what's up, man?

• 42:41Sam Morril?

  What's up dudes?

• 42:42Mark Normand?

  Hey, thanks for doing it.

• 42:43Sam Morril?

  Uh, yeah, I'll see you in a sec.

• 42:45Mark Normand?

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• 43:30Mark Normand?

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• 44:11Mark Normand?

  Hey!

• 44:13Sam Morril?

  Sit down, I heard you like banana, so we were trying to do a banana...

• 44:17Mark Normand?

  No pressure.

• 44:17Sam Morril?

  Manhattan, no pressure to drink if you don't wanna drink.

• 44:19Mark Normand?

  Oh, we got the real thing.

• 44:20Speaker 05

  You guys don't even know this about me, I don't drink.

• 44:22Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 44:23Speaker 05

  I've never drank in my life.

• 44:25Mark Normand?

  Well, we'll drink yours.

• 44:26Speaker 05

  Hell yeah.

• 44:26Sam Morril?

  Let's try, we'll try it and we'll tell you it's good.

• 44:28Speaker 05

  You gonna cheers on it?

• 44:29Mark Normand?

  Well, let's pour the, he just mixed it.

• 44:34Mark Normand?

  We got you these. In case you want a potassium shot.

• 44:37Sam Morril?

  Bonnie, a buddy, a buddy of many years, actually.

• 44:39Speaker 05

  Many years.

• 44:40Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 44:40Speaker 05

  Dude, remember when we went to that Knicks game years ago? Me, you and Roy. That was fucking great.

• 44:43Sam Morril?

  We went, I think it was during, okay, crazy Hasan story right here. He took me to a game years, years ago.

• 44:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:50Sam Morril?

  Porzingis' last game with the Knicks.

• 44:52Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 44:53Sam Morril?

  I don't know if you remember this, but yeah. Steve Mills was the GM of the Knicks at the time. And he was tall, he just came, Roy Wood was there with Neil Brennan.

• 45:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 45:02Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 45:03Speaker 05

  And Roy, it was a great crew.

• 45:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 45:04Speaker 05

  It was like a good.

• 45:05Sam Morril?

  And Roy and I are chilling and Steve Mills, the GM, walks over to me and like not thinking, you know, like, oh, they're in this like VIP room. Maybe they're worth talking to, whatever.

• 45:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:13Sam Morril?

  And he starts chatting up, you know, Roy and myself and I, and I go, man, how about Porzingis, man? Can't wait to have him back. And he goes, yeah, but what about Mitchell Robinson? I go, yeah, no, Mitchell's great, but like Porzingis too. And he was like, no, Mitchell. Porzingis got traded the next morning.

• 45:27Mark Normand?

  Oh, Dallas. Yay. It's like when you tell your friend, hey, your girlfriend's great. And they're like, yeah, yeah, she's cheating on me.

• 45:34Sam Morril?

  Cheers.

• 45:34Mark Normand?

  Hey.

• 45:35Speaker 05

  Hey, man.

• 45:35Mark Normand?

  Mazel tov.

• 45:37Sam Morril?

  Congrats on the new Netflix special.

• 45:39Speaker 05

  Thank you, man.

• 45:39Mark Normand?

  Hey, it's great.

• 45:40Speaker 05

  Oh, dude.

• 45:41Mark Normand?

  I really watched with my wife and we don't watch anything.

• 45:43Speaker 05

  Holy shit.

• 45:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we hate each other.

• 45:45Speaker 05

  But I, I never watch full specials. I'm gonna wa, I'm gonna.

• 45:47Sam Morril?

  Oh dude, thank you.

• 45:48Speaker 05

  At least clips.

• 45:48Sam Morril?

  But the fact is you took the time. Holy shit, man. It's, it's tough.

• 45:51Mark Normand?

  Of course, of course.

• 45:52Sam Morril?

  This is actually decent.

• 45:52Mark Normand?

  Oh, all right.

• 45:53Speaker 05

  Have you tried it?

• 45:53Mark Normand?

  The bank joke killed me.

• 45:55Speaker 05

  Oh, thank you.

• 45:56Mark Normand?

  Liking a politician like liking a bank?

• 45:57Speaker 05

  Uh.

• 45:58Mark Normand?

  Killer.

• 45:58Speaker 05

  Uh, oh, yeah, yeah. Ooh, that's good. It's a good angle.

• 46:01Mark Normand?

  Hey, that's not bad.

• 46:02Speaker 05

  Not bad.

• 46:03Mark Normand?

  I like it.

• 46:04Speaker 05

  What did you guys, what's the?

• 46:05Sam Morril?

  I just, we were waiting on walnut and black, uh, walnut and chocolate bitters to add to banana liqueur in our whiskey bodega cat. It's called a, I think it's a banana bread Manhattan.

• 46:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:18Sam Morril?

  It tastes pretty good, though.

• 46:19Mark Normand?

  I'm into it. I love banana bread.

• 46:20Sam Morril?

  Heard you like bananas. So I was like, banana.

• 46:22Speaker 05

  Dude, I love banana.

• 46:22Sam Morril?

  Forgot you don't.

• 46:23Speaker 05

  I do too.

• 46:23Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Banana caramel, like on dessert too. Whew.

• 46:27Mark Normand?

  Throw one of those in the freezer. Not bad.

• 46:29Speaker 05

  Dude, and then you blend it with peanut butter. This is some old man shit.

• 46:32Mark Normand?

  No, I eat one every day.

• 46:33Speaker 05

  Dude, oh my god, I gotta cut it out.

• 46:35Sam Morril?

  On the road, are you like a big?

• 46:37Speaker 05

  Like, you know, you just hit that age where you're just like, I mean, when you have a really good blueberry? I'm like, what the fuck? But it's true. You're like, you have an amazing blueberry.

• 46:45Sam Morril?

  You ever explain your, like, decisions to a cashier at the grocery store? And you're like, I'm the most uninteresting fucking.

• 46:51Speaker 05

  Totally.

• 46:52Sam Morril?

  I was telling, I was like deciding whether or not to get an umbrella. And I was like, I'm just not really an umbrella guy.

• 46:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:56Sam Morril?

  And she's looking at me like, I don't care. But I'm like, what are you talking about? But I'm like, I do need one, but I was like, but I'm never gonna use it.

• 47:01Mark Normand?

  You become Biden at the register.

• 47:02Sam Morril?

  She just watched it all. I was like, I am fucking awful.

• 47:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:06Speaker 05

  But, okay, but in our defense, though, do you ever have to, when you go to like a, like a party with your ladies work friends?

• 47:12Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 47:13Speaker 05

  And you're like, bro, there are fucking just goobers out here.

• 47:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, boring.

• 47:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, just office banter.

• 47:19Sam Morril?

  They're listening to this like, I thought we connected.

• 47:21Speaker 05

  No, yeah, no, not at all. Dude, I go to so many, fuck, who cares? I go to so many, like, work events with my wife. Cause she, you know, she's got her career and she's doing her thing. And we, you gotta go to the Christmas party, you gotta go to the whatever. And like, they'll find out you're a comic, they'll go, you know I was in a band, right? You know I was in a band? Yeah, and you're like, yeah, sure.

• 47:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, you're like, cool, man, cool.

• 47:43Mark Normand?

  What do you play? You gotta keep it going a little bit?

• 47:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, and you just, yeah. So, at least with us, when we're at, like, when you're having the conversation at the bodega, like, our ability to talk to literally anyone is a skill set.

• 47:56Mark Normand?

  Totally.

• 47:57Speaker 05

  Like, it's a kind of a cool.

• 47:59Sam Morril?

  I don't think she was like, man, this guy's really social.

• 48:02Speaker 05

  No, you don't think so?

• 48:03Mark Normand?

  But in your defense, all we do is like,

• 48:05Speaker 05

  Nah, man.

• 48:06Mark Normand?

  Trump jokes, we got the Gaza shit. Like, all we do is ingest all this dark shit and real shit and serious shit. Then it's nice to go, this umbrella is a little too thick for me. This one's lighter, though. It's nice to go minutia every now and then.

• 48:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:19Mark Normand?

  That's why the Seinfeld show was fun.

• 48:20Speaker 05

  Just like, we're talking about bullshit. And being quick, I was at an event, like I was at a work thing with my, with my wife, and it was in Los Angeles, and I fucking hate Los, I hate going to LA. But we're, we're in a, we're like in a building and outside the window, it looked like, it was like a visual illusion, it looked like someone was about to jump off. Oh, wow. But they're just on the roof. And so the guy goes, he goes like, is that guy like, is he, is, is he walking on the roof? I go, the part didn't go his way, so he's just. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, oh. Yeah, and he's like, is this a suicide joke? And they're like, they, but they get it. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, oh, got it.

• 48:55Sam Morril?

  They computed it, but they didn't get it.

• 48:56Speaker 05

  Yeah. Right.

• 48:57Sam Morril?

  Mathematically, we understand what you're going for.

• 49:00Speaker 05

  Oh, it's funny. Right. That's the story of my life. You go to the wife's party or whatever, and you're like, it's weird that some pedophiles fuck little kids and some fuck little girls. Are they gay? And they're like, whoa. Right, right, right. Oh, I'm just bored out of my mind. Yeah. I'm just being myself. Yeah, yeah.

• 49:14Sam Morril?

  His wife worked for the Catholic church, so.

• 49:17Speaker 05

  By the way, I think teachers now fuck more kids than priests.

• 49:21Sam Morril?

  I think percentage wise, you might be on to something.

• 49:23Speaker 05

  I think I got something there.

• 49:25Sam Morril?

  I don't know.

• 49:25Speaker 05

  Well, the thing.

• 49:26Sam Morril?

  If you just, if you just look at New York Post headlines, you'd think teachers are just, like, it's like 80% of teachers fuck.

• 49:32Speaker 05

  Totally. Yeah. Or no, that's all they do there.

• 49:34Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 49:34Speaker 05

  But I mean.

• 49:35Sam Morril?

  Ban books from the library. They banned Stephen King books and they fucked their students.

• 49:39Speaker 05

  They fucked their students. This is, this is really dark, but with the big, the big conversation in schools right now, at elementary schools, because my daughter goes to elementary school, is the, the phones in school. Now, I'm not, I don't actively participate in this. This is dark? We went from pedophilia.

• 49:54Speaker 05

  No, no, no. But like the whole thing, and I don't, I don't participate in the comment section, because it's weird, because you'll have like civilians in the comment, I'm not going to come up with a blue check. Don't do that. I'm not going to come up with a blue check in a PTA convo. Right, right. So the whole thing is they're like, my first grader needs to have a cellphone. In the event that there's a school shooter, like I need to, and there's every part of me that wants to do like the bit, and I'm like, I can't. Right.

• 50:16Sam Morril?

  You know, like you can't. What is a cellphone doing in the school shooting?

• 50:19Speaker 05

  Sam, we're, you're reading the passing lane?

• 50:21Sam Morril?

  People are gonna hear.

• 50:22Speaker 05

  Bro, you're Iverson reading the passing lane? You're in the pass, I get it. I so want to do that.

• 50:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 50:27Speaker 05

  On God. You know how AI was so good at that? He could, yeah.

• 50:30Sam Morril?

  There's a guy with a gun, hold on a second. Police?

• 50:33Speaker 05

  Let me go live.

• 50:34Sam Morril?

  Heard about it, yeah.

• 50:35Speaker 05

  We don't get enough credit for that too as comics of like, hey, we can read the passing lane. Like, the way you saw it, you anticipate it, you're like, pass, fast break, but they, yeah. There's certain convos where they're like, they're not willing to engage with that. Yeah, no, of course not. But I think the, the.

• 50:50Mark Normand?

  Schools should ban phones. I think we don't need them. I don't know. The teachers got a phone, they can call the cops. What are we doing here?

• 50:57Speaker 05

  I'm staying out of this one.

• 50:58Mark Normand?

  Bag them up.

• 50:58Speaker 05

  There's a whole, there is a whole-

• 51:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah, what's that, what's that thing they use at the shows to bag them up?

• 51:02Mark Normand?

  Yonder.

• 51:02Speaker 05

  Yonder. You guys don't do yonder?

• 51:04Sam Morril?

  I don't.

• 51:04Mark Normand?

  Nah, it's, eh, I'm too greedy. I need the money. It's like an extra 10 grand.

• 51:09Sam Morril?

  It's expensive.

• 51:10Speaker 05

  You're right, you're right, you're right.

• 51:11Sam Morril?

  Do you do it at every show?

• 51:12Speaker 05

  I do it if, if I know like I'm prepping for a special. Cause people fucking, they put out 12 minutes. I'm like, dude, I'm not-

• 51:19Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 51:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 51:20Sam Morril?

  I don't think people care.

• 51:21Speaker 05

  You guys are, you guys are, you guys are super prolific. Like I, if, if I have-

• 51:24Mark Normand?

  Still.

• 51:25Speaker 05

  70, 80 minutes, I'm like, this is all like, bro, do not, please.

• 51:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I just-

• 51:28Speaker 05

  I'll take this one.

• 51:29Mark Normand?

  I just did a benefit with Seinfeld. Somebody put his whole 60 minute set on, on YouTube. Yeah, and it's like a part of his new hour and you're like, damn, he's just in the balcony with a phone.

• 51:39Speaker 05

  And the phones are really good now, too.

• 51:40Mark Normand?

  I know!

• 51:41Speaker 05

  You go full 4K.

• 51:41Mark Normand?

  I watched the whole set. I liked it and shared it.

• 51:44Sam Morril?

  The guy brought a boom?

• 51:47Mark Normand?

  It's scary though, but every time I do a show with the yonder, I've opened for a Chappelle a few times and it's like, uh, the phones are bagged, you just feel free. You're like, fuck it, I'm gonna throw shit against the wall.

• 51:57Sam Morril?

  It is old school. It feels-

• 51:58Speaker 05

  Fucking great shoe. Air Max 90.

• 51:59Mark Normand?

  Thank you. These can be an inch and a half, too. Yeah.

• 52:03Sam Morril?

  During sex.

• 52:03Mark Normand?

  I need it. What?

• 52:05Sam Morril?

  During sex.

• 52:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah, there you go.

• 52:06Sam Morril?

  Do you, uh, when you, you said, you mentioned the food before. When you're on the road, is it like a, is food a big part of it?

• 52:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:13Mark Normand?

  Well, if you don't drink, you gotta have something.

• 52:14Speaker 05

  You gotta have food, yeah, yeah. So, so, so I'm always trying to hit up the other comics to go like, where, where am I, where am I eating? But I also, you did a good job traveling with Vider. You got me on-

• 52:24Sam Morril?

  Everyone knows this.

• 52:25Speaker 05

  Yes, but you'd, like-

• 52:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 52:28Speaker 05

  I went from not being able to move any tickets at like Rooster Teeth Feathers Comedy-

• 52:32Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, shout out.

• 52:34Speaker 05

  To, to, shout out to Rooster Teeth's. Heather's probably still there.

• 52:36Sam Morril?

  I had some rough ones there.

• 52:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, rough. They don't even have a green room.

• 52:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 52:39Speaker 05

  They don't, they don't have a-

• 52:39Sam Morril?

  Outside.

• 52:40Speaker 05

  You're in the back fucking yard of, uh, of Sunnyvale. Like you're just in someone's backyard. To go from there to theaters and then I just, I totally didn't realize. I was like, yeah, you gotta have someone to travel with.

• 52:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 52:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 52:50Speaker 05

  Like it's the whole-

• 52:51Mark Normand?

  It's huge.

• 52:52Speaker 05

  It's huge.

• 52:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you need it. And your guy is a good comic.

• 52:55Speaker 05

  Vider's a great, yeah.

• 52:56Mark Normand?

  And knows restaurants.

• 52:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Do you, who do you usually bring out?

• 53:00Speaker 05

  I'll do, I'll do like a combination. It'll be like friends or somebody local. Like I'll just like rotate it.

• 53:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I like.

• 53:07Speaker 05

  I don't have a person. No, go ahead.

• 53:08Mark Normand?

  I like the guy who's nice, low maintenance, but can also bounce bits. You know, you need the guy you can work shit out with. Like is that tag? That needs a little help. What do you got on that? And you know, you don't want the guy you don't really respect. Who's like, hey, you gotta use this as a, as a line. You're like, ugh.

• 53:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 53:22Mark Normand?

  I gotta stop using you. That's a brutal line.

• 53:25Speaker 05

  Are you volume? You're a volume guy, right?

• 53:27Mark Normand?

  What do you mean?

• 53:28Speaker 05

  Like when it comes to like tags and bits, are you, or is your percentage really high? For me, it's like 10% of one eye.

• 53:34Mark Normand?

  Probably 20 for me, just cause I throw out crazy shit against the wall, cause you never know what'll hit. Sometimes I'm, I'm almost 20 years in, I'm still surprised. Like that line hit and this one didn't?

• 53:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:45Mark Normand?

  But that's why comedy's great.

• 53:46Speaker 05

  What's your, you shoot pretty high.

• 53:48Sam Morril?

  No, I, I, I whiff a ton.

• 53:51Speaker 05

  I feel like.

• 53:51Mark Normand?

  Big whiffs.

• 53:52Speaker 05

  U2, U2 and Michelle Wolf?

• 53:54Mark Normand?

  Wolf is pumping it out.

• 53:56Speaker 05

  Her like MLB, her batting, it's like, she's at, she's batting 340, 420, like Hall of Fame, like.

• 54:02Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 54:03Speaker 05

  You know, you know how in MLB they're like, if you're, if you're, if you're 300, you're like fucking great.

• 54:07Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 54:08Speaker 05

  She bats like 428.

• 54:09Mark Normand?

  She's Otani.

• 54:10Sam Morril?

  I'm just comfortable, I'm okay with bombing. I, I really am.

• 54:14Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 54:14Sam Morril?

  At the cellar.

• 54:15Speaker 05

  At the cellar?

• 54:16Mark Normand?

  I'm not.

• 54:16Sam Morril?

  I, I, if I'm working on shit, yeah, no, it feels horrible, but like I love going on those early shows when it's like Quinn and Norden. And it's like, they're working on shit. It's always topical. It's always interesting.

• 54:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:27Sam Morril?

  And I'm like, okay, I can work on shit, you know, but.

• 54:30Speaker 05

  How, how, how long have you been comfortable like that?

• 54:33Sam Morril?

  Not long.

• 54:33Speaker 05

  Like I've watched you at the cellar do that and I'm like, fuck, bro. He, he doesn't panic.

• 54:37Mark Normand?

  No, no.

• 54:38Speaker 05

  All spats.

• 54:39Mark Normand?

  Me too.

• 54:39Speaker 05

  You'll start to see like my little Hassan tics and like, yeah, he's getting big with his, he's moving his hams too. You can, you know, I'm nervous.

• 54:46Sam Morril?

  I panic in here. There's, there's times.

• 54:48Mark Normand?

  You hide it well.

• 54:48Sam Morril?

  There's times up there.

• 54:49Speaker 05

  You're fucking great in the pocket.

• 54:51Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 54:51Speaker 05

  You don't scramble. You're like, go back.

• 54:53Sam Morril?

  Everything's a sports reference.

• 54:55Speaker 05

  Dude, I have like, there's, there's like three things I know. Like there's only like three things I know like deep, but.

• 55:02Sam Morril?

  He's like, look at Sam up there avoiding the, the sack.

• 55:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:05Sam Morril?

  Good stuff.

• 55:05Speaker 05

  And he, he's a white quarterback. He's not gonna, he's not gonna Vic. You know what I mean? And like when he starts scrambling, you're like, don't do it, dude.

• 55:12Sam Morril?

  I'm in my Aaron Rodgers era right now. I think I've lost it, but uh, no.

• 55:16Mark Normand?

  He's Anthony Hernandez. Like, like, like, like.

• 55:21Speaker 05

  The most marks.

• 55:24Mark Normand?

  Sorry.

• 55:24Speaker 05

  Uh, like, like, white quarterbacks that scramble is like a white dude at, at the Christmas party that gets on the dance floor. It's like, hey, proceed with caution. Like, if you're gonna dance.

• 55:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 55:34Speaker 05

  You better fucking come correct.

• 55:35Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 55:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, like. Cause, cause if you're a YQB, you're competing with like a Cam Newton, you're competing with like a, like, those are, there's real.

• 55:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 55:42Speaker 05

  YQBs that can scramble.

• 55:43Sam Morril?

  I hate, I hate bombing. I really hate it, but it's like, I just, I'm, I also hate not having new shit and I hate putting on a bad show for people that pay to see me and like. And I also feel really guilty if they've heard bits before and stuff and I don't know. I mean, I mean, how do you work out if you, cause you always have new shit.

• 55:59Mark Normand?

  You gotta bomb.

• 56:00Speaker 05

  I have to, yeah, yeah. I'm, I'm bombing. I'm just, I'm personally having a meltdown.

• 56:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 56:05Speaker 05

  You know what I mean? It's like, I'm like, I fucking feel horrible. Cause we live in the burbs, so it's just like.

• 56:08Sam Morril?

  I know. And once you moved out there, I'm like, what the fuck is he doing?

• 56:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know.

• 56:12Mark Normand?

  I got kids.

• 56:13Sam Morril?

  I got kids. I get it. I get it.

• 56:14Speaker 05

  Dude, we were living in Hell's Kitchen for like eight years and.

• 56:17Sam Morril?

  I remember.

• 56:17Speaker 05

  I was pushing my daughter.

• 56:18Sam Morril?

  You were living with Nimesh for a minute.

• 56:19Speaker 05

  For a, for a, yeah. Bro, when I first moved to New York, I was living with Nimesh. I was engaged. This is how fucking psychotic.

• 56:25Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 56:25Speaker 05

  I was engaged. Yeah. My, like, my wife had to walk past my roommates to like.

• 56:28Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 56:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 56:30Sam Morril?

  Nimesh should crowd work with her on the way to the kitchen. He's like, Bina, what's up?

• 56:36Mark Normand?

  That's a pretty good Nimesh.

• 56:38Sam Morril?

  You about to fuck Hussin? Fucking herb.

• 56:42Mark Normand?

  What if she comes home and gets the wrong room?

• 56:44Sam Morril?

  Man, Hussin's out here.

• 56:45Mark Normand?

  You guys are about the same build?

• 56:46Sam Morril?

  Hussin's doing comedy for Indian nerds. I do comedy for Indians that do drugs.

• 56:51Mark Normand?

  Damn, that was dead on.

• 56:53Speaker 05

  No, that's one of my, like, I can do like four.

• 56:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah. That one's not gonna move tickets.

• 56:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 56:58Mark Normand?

  But, yeah. He's not well known enough, but that's a great impression if you know Nimesh. Check him out. Nimesh Patel.

• 57:04Speaker 05

  Nimesh Patel, hilarious. You do, you do act outs? You don't do act outs, right?

• 57:08Mark Normand?

  Nah, I can't. I'm stiff. I'm a, I'm a fucking animatronic doll. I can't move.

• 57:13Speaker 02

  He's Aaron Rodgers in the pocket.

• 57:14Mark Normand?

  Thank you. And I didn't get the vaccine.

• 57:17Speaker 05

  Hilarious. What's his YouTube video?

• 57:19Speaker 02

  Oh, it's Aaron Rodgers.

• 57:20Mark Normand?

  In the pocket. White quarterback.

• 57:22Speaker 05

  Throws and mobility destroyed.

• 57:24Sam Morril?

  Scared now. It is crazy. Like, there he goes.

• 57:28Mark Normand?

  But he fucked up his Achilles, right?

• 57:31Speaker 05

  You know more about football than me. What's going on with him right now?

• 57:35Sam Morril?

  I think he's just old. Yeah, he's old and he's like, I think great athletes are the last ones to know they've lost it.

• 57:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:42Sam Morril?

  So I think we all believed him when he came to New York and was like, I'm fucking turning this shit around. And then he's just old and...

• 57:47Speaker 05

  Dude, the last two, three years of any athlete is just...

• 57:51Mark Normand?

  It's rough.

• 57:51Speaker 05

  And he goes rough, bro.

• 57:52Speaker 02

  They say beautiful women and athletes die twice.

• 57:56Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 57:56Speaker 05

  Wait, what's the saying?

• 57:57Speaker 02

  Beautiful women and athletes die twice.

• 58:00Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 58:00Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 58:00Sam Morril?

  WNBA player.

• 58:02Speaker 05

  Woo.

• 58:03Speaker 02

  Three times.

• 58:04Speaker 05

  Goddamn. Dude, I was at the Tyson fight, by the way.

• 58:07Mark Normand?

  What? Oh, was that a mess?

• 58:08Speaker 05

  Dude, it was surreal.

• 58:10Sam Morril?

  Were you serious?

• 58:11Speaker 05

  I thought, okay, first of all, I think the undercard was a great fight.

• 58:14Sam Morril?

  That was a great fight. That saved it.

• 58:15Mark Normand?

  Oh, I didn't see that.

• 58:16Sam Morril?

  You were playing with house money.

• 58:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't know enough about fighting, but I feel like Serrano won. Am I, like, I'm a noob. Maybe I'm like...

• 58:22Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 58:23Speaker 05

  Maybe I don't know.

• 58:23Sam Morril?

  Oh dude, I thought she totally won and that was hilarious. Her trainer came on and was just like, this woman's a dirty fighter.

• 58:30Speaker 05

  Came on the pod?

• 58:30Sam Morril?

  No, it came on the mic there, remember?

• 58:32Speaker 05

  Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, the, the, what's wild about the acoustics is you can't really hear what they're saying on the mic the after. You can't hear it in the arena. But I felt, I felt like, um, I felt like Serrano was amazing. And Taylor, from my understanding, just could lead with her head. It was kind of fucking dirty, the way she...

• 58:53Sam Morril?

  Wow, she looks a lot like Adam Ray. That's crazy.

• 58:56Mark Normand?

  Wait, you were in Texas for this?

• 58:58Speaker 05

  I was in Texas.

• 58:58Mark Normand?

  Oh shit.

• 58:59Speaker 05

  I flew in just for this. Yeah.

• 59:00Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 59:01Speaker 05

  Yes. I went with a buddy of mine, yeah. Who was, who, who really, really wanted to see the Tyson Jake Paul fight.

• 59:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 59:07Sam Morril?

  Did you, uh...

• 59:08Mark Normand?

  Damn, what a slugfest.

• 59:09Sam Morril?

  Did you see any crazy celebs there? Did you see Shaq?

• 59:10Speaker 05

  Oh dude, Shaq was, let me, let me just say this. People do not understand how famous Shaquille O'Neal is.

• 59:16Sam Morril?

  I understand.

• 59:17Speaker 05

  We get it.

• 59:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 59:18Speaker 05

  But like, everybody, Gronk was, everybody was there. Charlize Theron.

• 59:23Sam Morril?

  She looks insane, by the way. So hot.

• 59:25Speaker 05

  Incredible. But people are walking past Cedric the Entertainer, Mike Gabs, Charlize. Like literally give their baby to Shaquille O'Neal. You know what I mean?

• 59:34Sam Morril?

  By the way, what was Cedric the Entertainer doing there?

• 59:37Speaker 05

  He said...

• 59:37Sam Morril?

  I know, but he's on the...

• 59:38Mark Normand?

  Cedric the Entertainer, right?

• 59:39Sam Morril?

  I know, but he's on the mic. Did you say, they busted him with like, they were like, he goes, I've been to a hundred Mike Tyson fights. So like, oh, which was, which was, uh, your favorite? It was like when they, when they asked Trump his favorite Bible verse. He was like, they're all great.

• 59:51Speaker 05

  Which one? He goes, I like both of them.

• 59:55Speaker 05

  Old testament, a new testament. I like both of them. I was like, oh.

• 59:57Mark Normand?

  That's great.

• 59:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah, and also like Rosie Perez was there. I was like, I love Rosie Perez. But is she just, she's just a fan? Is that what it was?

• 1:00:02Speaker 05

  All right, let me just say this. Let me say, when, when black dudes come out for Fight Night, they're getting fits off.

• 1:00:08Mark Normand?

  Look at that.

• 1:00:09Speaker 05

  Fur hat, like, it's Fight Night.

• 1:00:11Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:00:12Speaker 05

  It's a scene, man. It is a scene. It's really cool to see.

• 1:00:14Sam Morril?

  Do you know Jake Paul at all?

• 1:00:15Speaker 05

  I don't, I don't know any of the guys. But I, I'm just a fan of...

• 1:00:18Sam Morril?

  Who are you rooting for?

• 1:00:19Speaker 05

  Tyson. But everyone, everyone was rooting for Tyson.

• 1:00:22Mark Normand?

  Of course.

• 1:00:22Speaker 05

  Those few things, he, like, in a weird way, he was the, not in a weird way, he's a legend. He was the hero. But I, but I feel like, um, Paul fully embraced being heel.

• 1:00:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:32Mark Normand?

  Yes, which I like.

• 1:00:33Speaker 05

  He's like, boom me.

• 1:00:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:35Speaker 05

  I want you to boom me. He came out in the...

• 1:00:36Mark Normand?

  The Bentley thing?

• 1:00:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, the low rider thing. And then he had the, um, he had the cage, the pigeon in the cage.

• 1:00:43Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's right.

• 1:00:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:44Mark Normand?

  I didn't even put that together. Oh. I was wondering why he had a dove.

• 1:00:49Speaker 05

  You know, so, you know, so interesting too about it? Like, everybody in the arena was,

• 1:00:56Speaker 05

  we kinda all had the hope where like,

• 1:01:00Speaker 05

  remember that, remember when Michael Jordan blocked Ron Mercer on the Bulls at 41?

• 1:01:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:04Speaker 05

  So, he, he comes down, he kinda gets swatted. There was like these last games that he had on the Wizards.

• 1:01:08Sam Morril?

  Was he 41 at the time?

• 1:01:09Speaker 05

  He was 40 or 40, 39 or 40, he was old. But then he chases him down and two-hand locks him off the glass, which was just fucking classic MJ.

• 1:01:17Mark Normand?

  Pull it up.

• 1:01:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, look at this. Swatted, but wait, wait, go back. Go back. See, this was the sad part of these years, is that he didn't have the vertical. Look on the fade. Swat.

• 1:01:27Mark Normand?

  Oh, damn.

• 1:01:27Speaker 05

  Now, look at this chase down.

• 1:01:31Speaker 05

  Boom.

• 1:01:31Mark Normand?

  Oh!

• 1:01:33Sam Morril?

  Badass.

• 1:01:34Speaker 05

  Just badass, just badass. Boink. Got him.

• 1:01:38Sam Morril?

  And the stare down.

• 1:01:39Speaker 05

  And the stare down, just, two, it's the two hands in the pull.

• 1:01:44Sam Morril?

  Oh shit, that's Hubert Davis.

• 1:01:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:01:46Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:01:47Sam Morril?

  QB.

• 1:01:47Speaker 05

  But you see what I'm saying?

• 1:01:48Mark Normand?

  He was angry.

• 1:01:49Speaker 05

  So, this is what we wanted. Yeah, of like, yeah, no, you're not just gonna fucking swat me flat-footed.

• 1:01:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but guess what? This is different between 39, 40, and 58.

• 1:01:56Speaker 05

  I know, I know.

• 1:01:58Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:01:58Speaker 05

  But what I'm saying is my emotion was there. This is where our emotion was at. This is what we wanted, like a big uppercut, a big like, just touch him up. Get a knockdown.

• 1:02:07Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:02:07Sam Morril?

  We were collectively all rooting for a convicted rapist. Cause that is how unlikable Jake Paul is.

• 1:02:13Mark Normand?

  He did his time.

• 1:02:14Speaker 05

  He did, that's what it is. He did his time.

• 1:02:16Mark Normand?

  He did his time.

• 1:02:16Speaker 05

  And Jake Paul still feels, it feels like he's getting away with something.

• 1:02:19Mark Normand?

  Well, you want the YouTube guy knocked out. You want the blonde guy who's cocky and, uh, you know, made his way through YouTube to get knocked out.

• 1:02:27Speaker 05

  You know what was so fire to see though? And it's still like, look, the, in round one.

• 1:02:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:34Speaker 05

  There was a moment where he touched Jake.

• 1:02:38Mark Normand?

  I saw, and he panics.

• 1:02:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:02:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I saw that.

• 1:02:40Speaker 05

  It was the feeling of like, oh, no, no, I'm fucking, I'm playing Michael Jordan one on one.

• 1:02:44Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 1:02:45Speaker 05

  You know what I mean?

• 1:02:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah. But Michael, uh, Michael, Tyson has always been like this kid inside. Like he's always been like a scared kid and I feel like that came out in this fight. You could see, he was a killer in the nineties. He was like the scariest guy on the planet. And this was like, oh, you're a sad little boy. He's on the, he's on the corner like crying a little bit. Oh.

• 1:03:04Speaker 05

  He was crying at one point.

• 1:03:05Mark Normand?

  It killed me.

• 1:03:06Speaker 05

  Wait, Jake Paul was crying?

• 1:03:07Sam Morril?

  No, no.

• 1:03:07Mark Normand?

  No, no, Tyson. Tyson was a sad little boy.

• 1:03:09Speaker 05

  Fuck, man.

• 1:03:10Mark Normand?

  It was brutal.

• 1:03:11Speaker 05

  Yeah. But anyways, the environment, dude, it's a must, it's a must see thing. Cause it's America. Like even on the undercards, every, whatever country you're from, like if there's a Mexican fighter, all of the Mexicans will be there. There's a Puerto Rican, do you know what I mean?

• 1:03:28Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:03:28Speaker 05

  It was every ethnicity, every race, every like economic class.

• 1:03:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:33Speaker 05

  It's all there.

• 1:03:34Mark Normand?

  I love that.

• 1:03:34Sam Morril?

  It's a bummer. I feel like I have to support Jeffrey Epstein because he's Jew, you know? It's just.

• 1:03:38Speaker 05

  Also, also the stories, by the way, pull this up, just pull up this Wikipedia. Bro, every fight is a story about America. Pull up 1981 Muhammad Ali, his last fight. Just read this Wikipedia.

• 1:03:49Sam Morril?

  Are you, are you a huge boxing guy?

• 1:03:51Speaker 05

  I just, I just like the lore of it. Like if you watch When We Were Kings, the documentary.

• 1:03:55Mark Normand?

  I was just thinking that.

• 1:03:56Sam Morril?

  I'm gonna watch it.

• 1:03:56Speaker 05

  Come on, bro. It's on Netflix now. Let's just read this. Read how fucking crazy that, when people are like, it's crazy now. Read how fucking crazy the stories. Muhammad Ali versus Trevor Berbik billed as the drama in Bahama was a 10 round professional boxing match. Bahamas 11th, 1981. The fight went the distance with Burbank winning through unanimous decision on points. Now, read the fucking background on this. Prior to the fight, Ali claimed that he had been declared fit by even the best white doctors. Amazing quote. Fucking amazing quote.

• 1:04:20Mark Normand?

  That's a great line.

• 1:04:21Speaker 05

  Nevertheless, the venue for the fight, Nassau on the Bahamas, was chosen because no American state would grant Ali a boxing license.

• 1:04:26Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 1:04:27Speaker 05

  After his performance in the match with Larry Holmes. Now, at the time, I believe Ali was in his early 40s. The promoter of this fight was James Cornelius, a convicted felon with links to the Nation of Islam. However, a problem arose since Don King had signed up Burbank for a three-fight deal. When King arrived in Nassau to demand his share of profits from the fight, he was greeted by two friends of Cornelius, who administered a sound beating to King.

• 1:04:48Mark Normand?

  Wow. It's like a movie.

• 1:04:50Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 1:04:51Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:04:51Speaker 05

  So like what I, like, dude, this is America. It's like swindlers, crooks.

• 1:04:56Mark Normand?

  Hustling.

• 1:04:57Speaker 05

  Hustlers, fucking, it's all of it.

• 1:04:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you're right.

• 1:05:00Speaker 05

  I'm there to see that.

• 1:05:02Mark Normand?

  It's that with the.

• 1:05:03Speaker 05

  I love that.

• 1:05:03Sam Morril?

  I hear that.

• 1:05:04Mark Normand?

  Throw the Colosseum in there in Rome. It's these gladiators, like, did you see the, uh, the Trump fight? I call it the Trump fight.

• 1:05:10Speaker 05

  UFC.

• 1:05:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah, UFC. John Jones gives him his belt. He bows to him. It felt like the gladiator bowing to the emperor in Rome and like, you know, who knows what? It's insane.

• 1:05:19Speaker 05

  It's just a wild thing to.

• 1:05:20Mark Normand?

  It's a wild thing and it's all goes back. Like, we haven't changed as human beings.

• 1:05:24Speaker 05

  So you, are you guys watching the McMahon doc on Netflix?

• 1:05:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we watched it.

• 1:05:27Mark Normand?

  I jerked off to it. It was incredible.

• 1:05:28Speaker 05

  Bro.

• 1:05:29Sam Morril?

  Linda's part of Trump's cabinet.

• 1:05:31Mark Normand?

  Is that right?

• 1:05:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:32Mark Normand?

  No, I didn't know that.

• 1:05:33Sam Morril?

  She's Secretary of Education.

• 1:05:34Mark Normand?

  Shut the fuck up.

• 1:05:35Speaker 05

  That's fucking crazy.

• 1:05:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:36Mark Normand?

  Wow, Tony Hitchcliff's, uh, Secretary of Puerto Rico.

• 1:05:40Speaker 05

  There we go.

• 1:05:40Mark Normand?

  If you saw that.

• 1:05:41Speaker 05

  But dude.

• 1:05:42Sam Morril?

  Vince is Secretary of pooping on, uh, coworkers.

• 1:05:46Sam Morril?

  That one didn't really land, but you know what I mean?

• 1:05:48Mark Normand?

  The poop did. Poop hit the chest.

• 1:05:51Speaker 05

  Um, but dude, it's that, that, I would say that, that doc, in my opinion, that's up there with The Last Dance. It's that good.

• 1:05:57Mark Normand?

  It's great.

• 1:05:57Speaker 05

  That good.

• 1:05:59Sam Morril?

  But you know what, I've talked to friends, because I, I agree, I really loved it, but I've talked to like, Mike Lawrence is a good friend of mine, and Mike was like, you know, like for, for casuals like you, it's a great doc, but for wrestling fans, like, we're furious, because we all knew this shit, and it goes deeper, like Vince is connected to murders.

• 1:06:15Speaker 05

  Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Oh, so we're, we're casuals, we're casuals.

• 1:06:20Sam Morril?

  Is Linda getting tombstoned?

• 1:06:21Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:06:22Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that a 69?

• 1:06:23Speaker 02

  This is how I get pulled off, but I'm gonna play it anyway.

• 1:06:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:06:26Mark Normand?

  She's a fucking sport, huh?

• 1:06:28Sam Morril?

  Wait, by the way, is this gonna, we can't really show this, right? Because they, there's, dude, we did an episode with Shane and Soda where we all dressed as wrestlers, and WWE had, they had it pulled, because we're dressed as wrestlers.

• 1:06:38Speaker 05

  Hilarious.

• 1:06:38Mark Normand?

  They're all doing Quaaludes, hitting each other with chairs, and we're the bad guys.

• 1:06:41Speaker 05

  It's all, but you know what's so wild is like, I also saw it through the lens of being a comic, you know how there's all this debate about like censorship and what?

• 1:06:49Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:06:49Speaker 05

  Remember the episode where they talk about like, there was an era?

• 1:06:53Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:06:53Speaker 05

  Of Girls Gone Wild, Jerry Springer, of like, is this the moral depravity of society?

• 1:06:59Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:06:59Speaker 05

  Are, are we losing control of our children? It's like the same conversation we're having with like, social media and kids.

• 1:07:06Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:07:06Speaker 05

  Was, do you see, do you see the parallels?

• 1:07:08Mark Normand?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 1:07:08Sam Morril?

  I do think it is worse now.

• 1:07:11Speaker 05

  Okay, yeah.

• 1:07:11Sam Morril?

  But I, but I, but I think you're right.

• 1:07:13Speaker 05

  But like, but like, the themes are the same.

• 1:07:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but what do you think is worse, Beavis and Butthead or kids all day like?

• 1:07:22Sam Morril?

  Beavis and Butthead is not as bad as that shit.

• 1:07:23Mark Normand?

  That was 30 minutes.

• 1:07:24Speaker 05

  Well, the, the crazy part is I have a couple buddies that do these response videos on like Instagram reels, so they'll play like a crazy video, and then their head will pop out, and they'll be like, alright man, here's what I think of.

• 1:07:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:35Speaker 05

  So sometimes it'll be like, a girl doing something crazy. So I do drop off in the morning, and I like, I had to unfollow my friend, because like, I was like, bro, my, my six-year-old is like, in the backseat, and you're posting just random lewd content.

• 1:07:51Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:07:51Speaker 05

  You know what I mean? I have a six-year-old at the back, and I had, he goes, why'd you unfollow me? I was like, it's, I think your comedy's hilarious.

• 1:07:56Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:07:56Speaker 05

  I just can't have.

• 1:07:57Sam Morril?

  He confronted you on the other side.

• 1:07:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:59Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 1:08:00Speaker 05

  Because he's my boy, we're boys. He's like, yo, is this like a thing? And I'm like, dude, I just, uh.

• 1:08:04Mark Normand?

  He should get that.

• 1:08:05Speaker 05

  I, I text and drive, and I open up.

• 1:08:09Speaker 05

  Like, I am an irresponsible father, but I'm not that irresponsible, so, so I was just like, bro, your, your content is like, I can't.

• 1:08:15Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 1:08:15Speaker 05

  He'll see it from the backseat.

• 1:08:16Mark Normand?

  That makes sense.

• 1:08:17Speaker 05

  So anyways, to answer your question about Beavis and Butthead, the point is, is that the fact that kids can just have pocket porn immediately.

• 1:08:23Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:24Speaker 05

  There's no like.

• 1:08:25Mark Normand?

  Bad news.

• 1:08:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, there was no.

• 1:08:28Mark Normand?

  There's no barrier to entry.

• 1:08:30Speaker 05

  Someone's done this bit, right? The barrier to entry of like, "You had your, your older brother had to give you the..." Someone's done this bit. This bit's been done, yeah?

• 1:08:35Mark Normand?

  I mean, Ronnie Chang had the great bit of like, "Twitter's so bad for you, we're gonna look at it like smoking." Like, "You used Twitter when you were pregnant?" Great line. But it's all the same vein.

• 1:08:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but Nimesh has a joke like that too where it's just like, "I was on social media, six hours a day." Like, it'll be like one of those. Remember how they had the smoking ones?

• 1:08:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I thought that was RFK.

• 1:08:56Sam Morril?

  No, but it really is like, you used to have to earn it. And now, kids are gonna be into shit sexually now that we didn't get into till our 40s.

• 1:09:03Mark Normand?

  Of course, of course.

• 1:09:04Sam Morril?

  Because they had acts, but also, you know, our, our parents can say that shit like, you know, they jerked off to Sears catalogs. We were on, we had internet.

• 1:09:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:12Speaker 05

  There's also the, the humiliation factor. I did, have you, have you done Mello's podcast yet?

• 1:09:17Sam Morril?

  I haven't.

• 1:09:17Speaker 05

  Bro, you gotta do, alright.

• 1:09:18Sam Morril?

  They offered me a date and I couldn't do it and then they never asked me again. I was like a little hurt.

• 1:09:22Speaker 05

  Oh shit. Alright, if you guys are watching, uh, Miro, reach out. Reach out. Sam's gonna be great on it. Okay. But I asked him, I was like, you know, cause Kian, his young, his youngest, basically just grew up on the internet. And now they have mixtape highlights on the internet.

• 1:09:39Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 1:09:40Speaker 05

  And, and look, I'm not gonna lie, like, growing up when I played, I've been dropped. I've been crossed up and dropped before, but it died that night.

• 1:09:47Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:09:47Speaker 05

  Like me, me getting dropped by some dude.

• 1:09:50Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:09:50Speaker 05

  It happened, like, I got ridiculed and we, we kept it moving. And I can then lie about it later and be like, "It never happened."

• 1:09:56Mark Normand?

  Totally.

• 1:09:57Speaker 05

  But now it's like, an eighth grader, you get fucking double-crossed and dropped and it's on Hoops Mixtape.

• 1:10:03Mark Normand?

  And that's not...

• 1:10:04Speaker 05

  It's like etched in amber forever and you're like, "Dude, I'm going through puberty."

• 1:10:09Mark Normand?

  People kill themselves over that shit.

• 1:10:10Sam Morril?

  Dude, I used to have a bit about like, how people say like bullying back in the day was worse. I'm like, cyberbullying, like, imagine getting catfished as a kid. What's, what's worse, getting, getting a wedgie or taking a bus to Syracuse thinking you met the one? Way worse.

• 1:10:24Speaker 05

  That's great.

• 1:10:24Mark Normand?

  Jonathan Haidt has that book.

• 1:10:26Speaker 05

  Dude, by the way, I'm just jumping, you were on Seth Meyers the other night, bro, you were so good.

• 1:10:30Mark Normand?

  Hey!

• 1:10:31Speaker 05

  Doing the couches.

• 1:10:32Sam Morril?

  You're one of the four people that watched it.

• 1:10:35Mark Normand?

  The other three are right here.

• 1:10:36Speaker 05

  No, but dude, doing the couches so hard. It's like...

• 1:10:39Sam Morril?

  Really? Oh, I think it's so, I was just saying, I think it's so much easier.

• 1:10:41Speaker 05

  But you're great at it, is what I'm saying. You're great at it. It's like, you, the audience, they don't know, unless you're, you know, fucking Chapel Rohn or a huge celebrity, they kinda don't know who you are. But you, you did like, within a six-minute segment, you did four? Like, hard, like-

• 1:11:00Mark Normand?

  Nice!

• 1:11:00Speaker 05

  And stories.

• 1:11:02Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I try to be quick.

• 1:11:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, bro, it was great.

• 1:11:04Sam Morril?

  Well, you've done a bunch of those panel things. I've seen you on Fallon, Stuck Hill, and it's like, how prepped are you when you go in there?

• 1:11:11Speaker 05

  Well, for me, I know, like, and by the way, this was your first time, too, right?

• 1:11:15Sam Morril?

  Well, I did Daily Show and I did the Letterman thing on Netflix, but I've never-

• 1:11:18Speaker 05

  No, no, but your first time with Seth.

• 1:11:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, no, but-

• 1:11:20Speaker 05

  Bro, you killed it.

• 1:11:21Sam Morril?

  I expected him to be awesome, because I know his style of comedy where he's like, he's so economical with words, so I feel like, yeah, he'll listen well and-

• 1:11:31Speaker 05

  But the part, and people gotta watch this, is if you look at it, generally, they gotta get to know you.

• 1:11:39Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:11:39Speaker 05

  But from your first joke, from the first time you poured out the bodega cat, like, it's hitting with the studio audience.

• 1:11:47Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:11:47Speaker 05

  We've had friends that do their set with the studio audience and they're like-

• 1:11:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:11:51Speaker 05

  Fucking suck.

• 1:11:52Mark Normand?

  Definitely.

• 1:11:52Speaker 05

  Do you know what I mean?

• 1:11:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:53Speaker 05

  And the stories are great, or the bits are great, they just don't know who you-

• 1:11:57Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:11:57Speaker 05

  Are.

• 1:11:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:58Sam Morril?

  It'd be tough.

• 1:11:59Speaker 05

  You know, you're not Zendaya, so they're just not, like, you know what I mean?

• 1:12:03Mark Normand?

  True. You should get your friend to do a reaction video to this. Hey, this is Gay Guy on Seth Meyers.

• 1:12:11Speaker 05

  Um, but yeah, it was great. But with Jimmy, man, for me, I'm like, alright, look, I got two segments, just isolate up top. Just clear the ball, give me the ball up top.

• 1:12:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:21Speaker 05

  Just isolate, just isolate, isolate. I do the Jeremy Lin wave off, just isolate, just isolate.

• 1:12:24Sam Morril?

  The wave off?

• 1:12:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, just isolate, just go, just give me the ball up top.

• 1:12:27Sam Morril?

  You're-

• 1:12:27Speaker 05

  People in the comments do it, too, they're like, he just is steamrolling the set. And I'm like, well, I got six minutes, let me just-

• 1:12:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:34Speaker 05

  Do you know what I mean? There is something still to be said. You know, we spent all this time working on these bits and stories and stuff. There is still something to be said when you do do it in that studio with like all the lights and the-

• 1:12:46Mark Normand?

  It's fun.

• 1:12:47Speaker 05

  Shine.

• 1:12:48Sam Morril?

  Look at that suit there. Is that like an orange suit? That's crazy.

• 1:12:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, man.

• 1:12:51Mark Normand?

  It's 30 Rock. It's still showbiz. It feels like showbiz.

• 1:12:54Speaker 05

  I did a whole thing on the copper suit, looking like my wife's IUD.

• 1:12:57Mark Normand?

  Ah, damn, look at that. That looks, that's swaggy as-

• 1:13:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, bro.

• 1:13:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:13:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:13:03Mark Normand?

  Damn, you're like the Riddler. Nice.

• 1:13:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:07Sam Morril?

  I like getting dressed up.

• 1:13:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you wish. You're not that famous. The Rizler's killing it.

• 1:13:12Sam Morril?

  I know.

• 1:13:13Speaker 05

  Rizler's on fire. I know. The Rizler's fucking crazy.

• 1:13:15Mark Normand?

  He's cute.

• 1:13:16Speaker 05

  Um, but yeah, the McManager, that doc was fucking incredible.

• 1:13:20Mark Normand?

  Incredible.

• 1:13:21Speaker 05

  What's the, I'm not tapped into this.

• 1:13:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 1:13:24Speaker 05

  Dude, I'm so.

• 1:13:25Sam Morril?

  You don't know who the Rizler is?

• 1:13:26Speaker 05

  Dude, my algo's different.

• 1:13:27Sam Morril?

  Dude.

• 1:13:27Speaker 05

  You whooped with him. My connection is I saw your Instagram photo.

• 1:13:30Sam Morril?

  He was a big defensive liability. He cost us some big possessions.

• 1:13:34Speaker 05

  Hilarious. Have you guys already dissected your performance?

• 1:13:37Sam Morril?

  Uh, no, I was, there was no footage of it. I sucked.

• 1:13:40Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:13:40Sam Morril?

  That was terrible. But he, he, uh, the Rizler, we had Jamal Crawford on our team. He was, he was incre-. You're like the biggest.

• 1:13:47Speaker 05

  Bro, I love Jamal Crawford.

• 1:13:48Sam Morril?

  I'm a huge fan of him.

• 1:13:49Speaker 05

  Bro, I love Jamal Crawford.

• 1:13:50Sam Morril?

  But you're the, you're like the Celebrity Kings fan, I feel like. Cause he's, he's a Sacramento guy. See, this is the beauty of like being like an Ian Carmel and like being a Blazers fan.

• 1:13:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:00Sam Morril?

  When it's a smaller market, you're like a bigger deal.

• 1:14:02Speaker 05

  Dude, there's, there's four people.

• 1:14:04Sam Morril?

  Who's another big Sacramento?

• 1:14:05Speaker 05

  Tom Hanks went to Sac State.

• 1:14:06Mark Normand?

  There we go.

• 1:14:07Speaker 05

  And they rep him. They rep, they're like, hey, you know he went to Sac State, right? Uh, Greta Gerwig, obviously.

• 1:14:12Mark Normand?

  Oh, Lady Bird, shout out.

• 1:14:14Speaker 05

  And me, and then like, um, who's the actress who played in Ms. Marvel? Uh, what's, Brie Larson. Brie Larson went to like high school for two years.

• 1:14:24Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:14:24Speaker 05

  So I get, they, they roll out the red carpet for me.

• 1:14:26Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:14:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:14:27Sam Morril?

  And you rep?

• 1:14:28Speaker 05

  I'm, I'm, I'm number six on every Hollywood call sheet, but I'm fucking the king of Sacramento.

• 1:14:32Mark Normand?

  That's great.

• 1:14:33Speaker 05

  I rep it hard. I rep it hard. That, that was one of our original connections. Cause he goes so deep on the Knicks. And like, I respect that. He's not a casual. He's not like a Knicks casual in that way. Um, but we're good, bro, this year.

• 1:14:47Mark Normand?

  Great comedy town, too. I mean, I've been doing that punchline for years.

• 1:14:49Speaker 05

  That punchline's a great, a great room to work out in.

• 1:14:52Mark Normand?

  I love it.

• 1:14:53Sam Morril?

  Next to the mattress store.

• 1:14:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, people shit on, it's above the mattress store, just to be accurate. But, but, but I think, but I think it actually is a workout room.

• 1:15:00Mark Normand?

  Great.

• 1:15:01Speaker 05

  Um, and I'm gonna get a little slander for this too, but I think to work out in New Hour, the SAC punch is a little bit stronger than the San Francisco punch.

• 1:15:07Mark Normand?

  Woo.

• 1:15:08Speaker 05

  Is it a little hot take? A little hot take? I do both. I do both. But I think, but I think.

• 1:15:13Sam Morril?

  You might be getting that hometown love.

• 1:15:14Speaker 05

  Yeah. I, I don't know. There's, there's.

• 1:15:16Sam Morril?

  They're both great.

• 1:15:16Speaker 05

  There's also a feeling too where. Sacramento as a city is like the rest of the United States.

• 1:15:22Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:15:23Speaker 05

  Do you, do you see, you know what I'm saying?

• 1:15:24Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:15:24Speaker 05

  So like when, growing up when I went to high school, like, yeah, one of my best friends, his dad is like a gun owner.

• 1:15:29Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:15:30Speaker 05

  It's all, you know what I mean?

• 1:15:30Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:15:31Speaker 05

  Libertarian, Republican.

• 1:15:32Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:15:32Speaker 05

  It's all of it.

• 1:15:33Mark Normand?

  And where's SF?

• 1:15:34Speaker 05

  My dad's a professor, like it's all, you see what I mean?

• 1:15:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, of course. I always, I always say it's like San Francisco's straight older brother.

• 1:15:40Speaker 05

  Hilarious.

• 1:15:41Mark Normand?

  You know, it's just, it's got more realness to it.

• 1:15:44Speaker 05

  Yeah. So if like your hour is killing like that there, you could run that same hour in Dallas or San Antonio and you're, you're good.

• 1:15:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah, definitely.

• 1:15:51Sam Morril?

  Every, every audience member for me in, in SAC looks like they do MMA. They're like a harder edge.

• 1:15:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:57Sam Morril?

  SF, I'm like, yeah, they, they don't use their hands much.

• 1:16:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I saw a biker gang last time I was there. It's definitely more of America.

• 1:16:03Speaker 05

  Well, also, so, so the fact that you've noticed that, right? That like every dude there kinda is a little bit of like a brawler.

• 1:16:09Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:10Speaker 05

  It's why when I moved to New York, I fucked with Knicks fans. Because you guys are kinda like, as in Knicks fans respect John Stark's Anthony Mason energy.

• 1:16:21Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 1:16:21Speaker 05

  Like if you have that bravado, like you're, you're, you get respect, the same, that's the same way Kings fans are. Like, we love Lottie, we love, um, yeah, just like, kinda like Bruisers, uh,

• 1:16:37Speaker 05

  Peja, Bibby, Doug Christie.

• 1:16:39Sam Morril?

  C-Web.

• 1:16:39Speaker 05

  Like kinda hard-nosed players.

• 1:16:42Sam Morril?

  That was a cool team, man.

• 1:16:43Speaker 05

  It was a cool team. A dope team.

• 1:16:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:16:46Mark Normand?

  You guys got hockey over there, too. Does Sacramento have a hockey team?

• 1:16:49Speaker 05

  No, we're getting, we're getting.

• 1:16:51Mark Normand?

  Oh, you are?

• 1:16:51Speaker 05

  We're getting the A's.

• 1:16:52Sam Morril?

  That's kinda.

• 1:16:53Speaker 05

  Before they move to Vegas, which is a, which is a weird thing.

• 1:16:55Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:16:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:57Mark Normand?

  Weird.

• 1:16:57Speaker 05

  There's like, we're like the, we're like the foster care for the.

• 1:16:59Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 1:17:00Speaker 05

  We're like, we're a loving household for a couple of years.

• 1:17:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah, cause Oakland lost everything.

• 1:17:05Sam Morril?

  Some of these owners, man, they're just really.

• 1:17:07Speaker 05

  Do you guys do good in Vegas? Do you guys play well? I, I fucking bomb in Vegas.

• 1:17:11Mark Normand?

  Vegas is tough.

• 1:17:12Speaker 05

  I'm not a good Vegas.

• 1:17:13Sam Morril?

  It depends.

• 1:17:14Speaker 05

  It kills my morale.

• 1:17:15Mark Normand?

  You have to go broad in Vegas.

• 1:17:16Sam Morril?

  But when you get the, when you get the.

• 1:17:17Speaker 05

  But I feel like you.

• 1:17:18Sam Morril?

  Residents.

• 1:17:18Speaker 05

  You guys are killed, like, there's no crowd you can't kill in front of.

• 1:17:21Sam Morril?

  Ah, that's.

• 1:17:22Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:17:23Mark Normand?

  You should've seen me last night.

• 1:17:24Sam Morril?

  That's not true.

• 1:17:25Speaker 05

  In your bag, in your bag.

• 1:17:27Sam Morril?

  Uh, no, I mean, look, Vegas, I've had, I think coming up in Vegas was brutal, like when,

• 1:17:32Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:17:33Sam Morril?

  But like, last couple of times have been good, but because I feel like I got a lot of locals. I think locals are the key. You might be such a big act over there that you're getting people like coming in.

• 1:17:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, dude, it's, yeah, it's, I'm, I, it's the worst city on my tour. I'm like, fuck.

• 1:17:47Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:17:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, bro.

• 1:17:48Sam Morril?

  Vegas is your least favorite?

• 1:17:50Speaker 05

  Atlantic City treated me better than.

• 1:17:51Mark Normand?

  Wow, cause it's still Jersey.

• 1:17:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah, AC's still Jersey and you're still getting a lot of Philly people and stuff.

• 1:17:56Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:17:57Sam Morril?

  It's a little different.

• 1:17:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that is a sad town.

• 1:17:59Speaker 05

  Here's another few cities where I'm like, and look, no disrespect.

• 1:18:02Mark Normand?

  Here we go.

• 1:18:03Sam Morril?

  I'm coming.

• 1:18:03Mark Normand?

  Shitless.

• 1:18:04Speaker 05

  Shitless. And listen, I'm saying this from a place of love. I want to have a great show.

• 1:18:07Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:07Speaker 05

  Like, I'm, I'm leaving my family to be here. Dude, I bombed in Albany so bad.

• 1:18:11Mark Normand?

  Albany's rough.

• 1:18:12Speaker 05

  I bombed in Buffalo so bad.

• 1:18:14Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 1:18:15Mark Normand?

  Don't get me started on Syracuse.

• 1:18:16Speaker 05

  And I bombed in Syracuse.

• 1:18:17Mark Normand?

  Woo, neat work.

• 1:18:18Speaker 05

  Now, look, it's on me, it's on me. They're killers, but I, I bombed so fucking bad.

• 1:18:22Sam Morril?

  Albany's hit or miss. The egg is sick, though.

• 1:18:24Mark Normand?

  Egg is cool.

• 1:18:25Sam Morril?

  I like the egg.

• 1:18:26Speaker 05

  That's in Syracuse?

• 1:18:27Sam Morril?

  No, Albany. That's legendary, but yeah, man, that Albany funny bone. Yeah, I've had some rough times there. Syracuse funny bone was one of my wor- I, I remember I walked like so many peo- I remember my agent called me, she goes, "You walked forty people last night?"

• 1:18:42Speaker 05

  What?

• 1:18:42Sam Morril?

  And she goes, "What did you do?" And I was like, "My act?"

• 1:18:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:45Sam Morril?

  I just didn't like, what do you want me to do? It was not like I was like, "Fuck you, motherfucker." I just bombed.

• 1:18:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:49Sam Morril?

  But, uh.

• 1:18:50Mark Normand?

  Forty people?

• 1:18:51Sam Morril?

  Buffalo I like, actually. I think Buffalo's really cool.

• 1:18:53Speaker 05

  You did the special at the Den, at the Den Theater in Chicago?

• 1:18:56Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I was, that's a cool venue. Chicago's, we were just saying.

• 1:18:59Speaker 05

  I think that's one of your best specials.

• 1:19:00Sam Morril?

  Thanks, man. I look back and I'm like, eh.

• 1:19:02Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:19:02Sam Morril?

  Eh.

• 1:19:03Speaker 05

  No, you got some classic bits in that, in my opinion.

• 1:19:05Sam Morril?

  Thank you, bro.

• 1:19:06Speaker 05

  But, um, the den, like that, the way that venue is designed is the opposite feeling that I get in Albany.

• 1:19:14Sam Morril?

  Well, you, what are, what are your favorite cities?

• 1:19:16Speaker 05

  Um.

• 1:19:17Sam Morril?

  To hit, to hit on the tour? Like, where do you?

• 1:19:20Speaker 05

  DC's incredible.

• 1:19:21Mark Normand?

  Love DC.

• 1:19:21Speaker 05

  Bro, DC is like the best, from the DC improv to the theaters, like all of it.

• 1:19:27Mark Normand?

  All great.

• 1:19:28Speaker 05

  It's just great.

• 1:19:29Mark Normand?

  The Lincoln, the Warner.

• 1:19:30Speaker 05

  All, all of them are great.

• 1:19:31Mark Normand?

  Great.

• 1:19:31Speaker 05

  Um.

• 1:19:32Mark Normand?

  He just did a with Shell Wolf special there. He recorded it.

• 1:19:35Speaker 05

  Boston, uh, Wilbur. I think the Wilbur's one of the best.

• 1:19:38Mark Normand?

  I agree.

• 1:19:38Sam Morril?

  Well, I did my last one. I loved the Wilbur.

• 1:19:40Mark Normand?

  Top three.

• 1:19:41Sam Morril?

  Oh, that's a cool, she looks cool, though.

• 1:19:42Mark Normand?

  Nice curls.

• 1:19:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's at the DC improv.

• 1:19:44Speaker 05

  Is that the special?

• 1:19:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, I shot it there.

• 1:19:46Mark Normand?

  She went the improv, huh?

• 1:19:47Speaker 05

  Great, oh, great.

• 1:19:48Mark Normand?

  No backdrop?

• 1:19:49Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:19:50Speaker 05

  They let you use the logo?

• 1:19:51Speaker 02

  They said it's, oops, I shouldn't say this. They said it's, to remove it. I was like, alright, let's keep it.

• 1:19:57Sam Morril?

  That's a weird, uh...

• 1:19:58Mark Normand?

  It's a weird markup.

• 1:19:59Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:19:59Speaker 05

  Bro, you can't, you can't be talking money on the mic.

• 1:20:02Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:20:02Mark Normand?

  Bleep it.

• 1:20:03Speaker 05

  It's gonna be like Rico lost with us. You know how like, you know how the, you know how the rappers are in like court right now?

• 1:20:08Mark Normand?

  Wait, what happened with the rappers?

• 1:20:09Speaker 05

  So what happens is like, Young, uh, who's it, Young Thug, right? Young Thug is a court, you know? Yeah, they freed him, yeah, Young Thug's free, they freed, Young Thug's.

• 1:20:16Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm thinking of, uh, Lil Dirk.

• 1:20:17Speaker 05

  Bro, pull this footage up, this is crazy. Play up, play the Young Thug, play the Young Thug court footage. And by the, by the way, shout out to Josh Johnson, who did like a whole hour.

• 1:20:25Mark Normand?

  Ah, Josh is killing it.

• 1:20:27Sam Morril?

  Shout out to Josh.

• 1:20:27Speaker 02

  He's prolific.

• 1:20:28Speaker 05

  Prolific. Shout out to Josh Johnson.

• 1:20:29Mark Normand?

  He's crazy.

• 1:20:30Speaker 05

  No, no, no, Young, yeah, just go to YouTube, Young Thug Court.

• 1:20:32Mark Normand?

  Young Thug Court?

• 1:20:33Speaker 05

  Dude, they play the... It's like a sketch, bro. They play, they play his music. And like, like, the, the judge and everybody's listening to it. And, cause he's implicating himself.

• 1:20:43Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's crazy.

• 1:20:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, so like...

• 1:20:49Speaker 05

  This is attorney, his attorney.

• 1:20:52Speaker 05

  Smiling. It's like, this is like us being like a, a bit.

• 1:20:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly. He's loving it. Look at the Mitch McConnell motherfucker on the right.

• 1:21:02Speaker 05

  That's, that's his attorney.

• 1:21:06Speaker 05

  That's his, but I just love how he's just like...

• 1:21:07Mark Normand?

  Ah! Yeah. Which I would not be doing. If they were playing my bit in court, I'd be like, ugh!

• 1:21:13Speaker 05

  But at least they play it. Remember in the Lenny Bruce trials, they're reading the joke?

• 1:21:16Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:21:17Speaker 05

  So he's like, that's not how I would say it.

• 1:21:18Mark Normand?

  Good point.

• 1:21:19Speaker 05

  You're messing, you're fucking up the delivery.

• 1:21:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:21Speaker 02

  And he's just smiling.

• 1:21:23Mark Normand?

  The security guard's enjoying it a little.

• 1:21:26Speaker 05

  So if you go down the rabbit hole, then they'll go to reaction shots too.

• 1:21:29Mark Normand?

  Ah!

• 1:21:30Speaker 05

  It's, it's just, it's like, bro, it's like a, it's like a Chappelle Show level sketch.

• 1:21:32Mark Normand?

  It really is.

• 1:21:33Speaker 05

  It really is. Some people are like, doing this.

• 1:21:40Speaker 05

  It's just C-SPAN footage of this.

• 1:21:42Mark Normand?

  Wow!

• 1:21:43Sam Morril?

  So he's, he, he won the trial.

• 1:21:45Speaker 05

  Look at, look at this older, like, white lady, this is...

• 1:21:47Mark Normand?

  Ah!

• 1:21:48Speaker 05

  Bro, you could not cast, the casting on this is so good. Remember old episodes of Workaholics?

• 1:21:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:55Speaker 05

  Where I would ask Adam Devine, I'm like, how did you find these characters? It is straight up Cartoon Network.

• 1:21:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:00Speaker 05

  It's fucking TNT Characters Welcome on your show. And he's like, oh yeah, they would just come from the valley.

• 1:22:05Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:22:05Speaker 05

  But look at, just look at the way you would...

• 1:22:07Mark Normand?

  Amazing.

• 1:22:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's incredible.

• 1:22:09Mark Normand?

  Old white lady next to Sideshow Mel.

• 1:22:11Speaker 05

  Old, old white lady's in, yeah. And she's like, what is happening?

• 1:22:15Mark Normand?

  This is amazing! I will say it's hard to hear the lyrics sometimes, so you need the writing.

• 1:22:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:21Speaker 05

  Shout out to Joe Coy. Joe Coy has a great bit about this song.

• 1:22:24Speaker 02

  What did he say?

• 1:22:25Speaker 05

  About this song. Lifestyle. This, Joe Coy has a killer bit on just this in his last special.

• 1:22:29Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:22:30Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 1:22:30Speaker 05

  But anyways, my point is, is that this is fucking...

• 1:22:34Speaker 02

  So, explain the Rico.

• 1:22:35Speaker 05

  Truth is way better than fiction.

• 1:22:36Speaker 02

  Explain the Rico act, how they're trying to catch you.

• 1:22:38Speaker 05

  Roughly from what I understand, and I'm gonna get this a little bit wrong, is that there's a law that basically like in your music, or if you implicated yourself in a crime, they can go back and then use that against you.

• 1:22:54Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:22:55Speaker 05

  Is that, am I getting that right roughly, Sam? With Rico, the Rico statute?

• 1:23:01Speaker 04

  But it's, uh, if you're associated with the person, or like if you do communications, they can get you on a gang charge.

• 1:23:07Speaker 05

  Yes, yes.

• 1:23:08Speaker 02

  I think it was originally...

• 1:23:09Speaker 05

  They did this with Escobar, Pablo Escobar as well.

• 1:23:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, good.

• 1:23:12Sam Morril?

  Escobar, great rapper, though.

• 1:23:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's great. But they tried to implicate like your entire crew this way.

• 1:23:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think they started it for the mafia, like the Italian mafia.

• 1:23:19Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:23:20Speaker 04

  That's how they got Capone.

• 1:23:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, so they got Al Capone through the Rico statutes. So anyways...

• 1:23:25Sam Morril?

  Stifelis got him after that. That's true.

• 1:23:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:28Mark Normand?

  Rot of his brain.

• 1:23:28Speaker 05

  So anyways, so I just didn't want you to get caught up when you're like, "We paid..." You're in court and they're just like, "Let's just play, we might be drunk." And there's like a SAG-AFTRA representative to be like, "Really..."

• 1:23:40Sam Morril?

  Oh, that's the least of his concerns. If his wife leaves him, there's a lot of footage with his kid in the back.

• 1:23:47Mark Normand?

  So how many kids you got?

• 1:23:48Speaker 05

  I got two.

• 1:23:48Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:23:49Speaker 05

  You're about to have a baby, right?

• 1:23:50Mark Normand?

  I got a seven-month pregnant wife.

• 1:23:51Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:23:52Mark Normand?

  Thank you. I'm terrified. I'm trying to live now. I'm writing all the material, doing all the pods.

• 1:23:57Speaker 02

  Bro.

• 1:23:57Mark Normand?

  Going on trips. Thanks, I'm scared.

• 1:24:00Speaker 05

  Congratulations, bro.

• 1:24:01Mark Normand?

  I mean, how do you do it with comedy? What's the trick?

• 1:24:08Speaker 05

  Are we the same age? I'm thirty, I'm thirty-nine.

• 1:24:09Mark Normand?

  I'm forty.

• 1:24:10Speaker 05

  Oh, great. Yeah, man, it's, you're gonna be, you're gonna be fine. It's gonna be great. You're gonna, it's gonna be awesome.

• 1:24:16Sam Morril?

  That wasn't the answer he was looking for.

• 1:24:18Speaker 05

  How do you do it with comedy?

• 1:24:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah, how do you do it?

• 1:24:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah, are you still getting up? I mean, you put out specials.

• 1:24:22Speaker 05

  I mean, like, the thing is, is that, like, you just be, you just get dialed in.

• 1:24:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:26Speaker 05

  You're like, I just can't fuck around.

• 1:24:28Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:24:28Speaker 05

  There's no fuck-around time.

• 1:24:30Mark Normand?

  Got it.

• 1:24:30Speaker 05

  So when, so like, if I'm at...

• 1:24:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it, but you know what's really cool, man? Selfishly for us, and, and Gaffigan will tell you this, you're just like, oh, there's seven minutes right there.

• 1:24:43Mark Normand?

  Right, right. Seinfeld said the same thing.

• 1:24:45Sam Morril?

  Gaffigan will tell you this, "Wear a suit."

• 1:24:48Mark Normand?

  That's a callback.

• 1:24:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:49Speaker 05

  But then also, but then also, just to like, just to keep it real, man, like, we gotta, life's about graduating. Like, we did the twenties thing, we did the thirties.

• 1:24:59Mark Normand?

  That's a good point.

• 1:25:00Speaker 05

  You know what I mean? Like, when you, when you, um...

• 1:25:04Speaker 05

  Again, I'm, I'm not saying this just to like, whatever.

• 1:25:08Speaker 05

  Like, Sam, you're so good at owning the bomb. Rock is, Rock is good at this too, by the way. When Rock goes up to the cellar, he's so, he is fucking un-flappable. When he's working on shit.

• 1:25:23Speaker 05

  But if you talk to like, an open mic'er, who's like, twenty-three, they treat everything like it's like, "So, then I'm gonna do a late night set, and then it's gonna change everything." And so like, when I sometimes talk to them, I'm like, "You gotta live through this." I can tell you how to, I can give you all the advice in the world.

• 1:25:38Mark Normand?

  That's a good point.

• 1:25:39Speaker 05

  You have to live through it. But it makes me realize, I'm like, I'm so glad I graduated past this. Like, I'm not playing that

• 1:25:44Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:25:45Speaker 05

  game anymore. So what I'm, what I'm trying to say with the kids thing is, you're gonna experience just new memories.

• 1:25:49Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:25:49Speaker 05

  And the shit that we did in our twenties and thirties at Moon Tower, when we stayed up all night.

• 1:25:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:54Speaker 05

  Like, that was cool. We did that.

• 1:25:56Mark Normand?

  Interesting.

• 1:25:57Speaker 05

  And now we're doing this.

• 1:25:57Sam Morril?

  Yeah, you'll look at your baby, and you'll forget all the good times we had.

• 1:26:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Well, I get such bad FOMO, but I think you're right. You gotta move on.

• 1:26:04Sam Morril?

  I think some.

• 1:26:04Speaker 05

  Dude, you'll be a dope, you're gonna be a great dad.

• 1:26:06Sam Morril?

  Oh, thanks.

• 1:26:06Speaker 05

  No, you're gonna be a great dad.

• 1:26:07Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I bet you're a great dad. I could see, what, what's it, what's?

• 1:26:10Speaker 05

  My wi, my wife, my wife, this, this, she'll...

• 1:26:14Speaker 05

  You can't say-

• 1:26:15Sam Morril?

  Sorry, honey, I gotta go to Vegas.

• 1:26:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You, like, like, you'll realize this too, I was just like, I can't stand on that. There's other people that'll be like, "I would like to disagree on that." Uh, but I think, I think I'm, I do my best.

• 1:26:26Sam Morril?

  But what's, what's the complaint? That you're on the road too much? Is that it?

• 1:26:29Speaker 05

  The complaint is, is that, like-

• 1:26:30Mark Normand?

  That's where the money is.

• 1:26:31Speaker 05

  There's, there, there's, there's, it's like this.

• 1:26:39Speaker 05

  Like having a comedy career, you have to be the showrunner of your career. So if like you've ever been in a comedy's writer's room, you're like, what are we doing? What's the take? What's the direction? What's the plan? Like, what's the schedule? You're that. You're the fucking offensive coordinator for the whole thing. But to be a parent, you're also showrunning like that thing.

• 1:26:57Sam Morril?

  You're running two shows.

• 1:26:58Speaker 05

  You're running two shows.

• 1:26:59Mark Normand?

  The wife isn't running that, you don't think?

• 1:27:01Speaker 05

  No, no, no. My, shout out to my wife. She is running that.

• 1:27:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:03Speaker 05

  But she want, and I want to be a part of that. And it's just the, it's the pull of that.

• 1:27:09Mark Normand?

  Got it, got it.

• 1:27:10Speaker 05

  See what I mean? It's the, it's the, man, it'd be really great if we go to that water park at the, you know, in New Jersey this weekend.

• 1:27:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:16Speaker 05

  Oh, but I'm doing Albany.

• 1:27:18Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 1:27:19Speaker 05

  And it's like, I want, I want to do, actually, I don't want to be in Albany. I want to be with y'all, but like, it's that, it's that constant.

• 1:27:26Mark Normand?

  Got it, got it.

• 1:27:27Speaker 05

  That's the, that's the shitty part.

• 1:27:28Mark Normand?

  That sucks.

• 1:27:29Sam Morril?

  But the good thing about standup is you do have free time, maybe when she wouldn't.

• 1:27:32Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:27:33Sam Morril?

  There's times where you just drop in like.

• 1:27:34Speaker 05

  Facts.

• 1:27:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:35Mark Normand?

  Days free.

• 1:27:36Speaker 05

  So, yeah, thank you. I'm gonna play this in couples therapy, by the way. Oh, but for real, but for, like.

• 1:27:41Sam Morril?

  My drunk friend of a podcast.

• 1:27:43Speaker 05

  Yeah. Hey, Sam, my drunk, single friend. Are you single? Have you seen someone?

• 1:27:47Sam Morril?

  I'm serious.

• 1:27:48Speaker 05

  Okay, gotcha. Respect.

• 1:27:48Sam Morril?

  But, you know, Gary, Vida, I have to hit him with all the time, because, you know, Gary's got two kids. He's on the road with me all, like, we're doing the bus next year pretty hard. And Gary's like, he feels a lot of guilt not being there.

• 1:27:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:27:59Sam Morril?

  But he's a great dad when he is there. And he, and you know, he's always checking in on FaceTime.

• 1:28:03Speaker 05

  Totally.

• 1:28:04Sam Morril?

  You know, he's with other women, but they, they don't see that, so.

• 1:28:07Speaker 05

  Who are we to judge? Who are we to judge?

• 1:28:08Mark Normand?

  But you gotta make the money, dude.

• 1:28:09Sam Morril?

  The joke, by the way.

• 1:28:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah, women want it both ways in some senses. You're like, ah, gotta get the lights on.

• 1:28:15Speaker 05

  It's also just like, it doesn't even matter about like the gender thing. It's just a resources thing of like, all right, there's fucking 50 decisions we have to make. Like, all right, braces is this much.

• 1:28:23Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:28:24Speaker 05

  Nanny is this much, like private schools, whatever it is.

• 1:28:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:27Speaker 05

  Like, it's just a numbers thing.

• 1:28:28Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:28:29Speaker 05

  It doesn't matter. Like, I could be doing OnlyFans or comedy, what, doesn't.

• 1:28:32Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 1:28:33Speaker 05

  You know what I mean? Like.

• 1:28:34Sam Morril?

  With that jawline, you could be doing OnlyFans.

• 1:28:36Speaker 05

  And there'd be like a niche market, because there's not a lot of like Indian.

• 1:28:39Sam Morril?

  What do you think you're showing off? You think like feet or what are you doing? Butt?

• 1:28:42Speaker 05

  I would do like hair.

• 1:28:44Mark Normand?

  Hair is good.

• 1:28:44Speaker 05

  Hair fetish.

• 1:28:46Mark Normand?

  Indians aren't known for the feet.

• 1:28:47Speaker 05

  I know, I know there's people that are into body hair.

• 1:28:51Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:28:52Speaker 05

  You know what I mean?

• 1:28:52Sam Morril?

  You're hairy. Me too, man.

• 1:28:54Speaker 05

  I'm fuzzy.

• 1:28:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:55Speaker 05

  I'm fuzzy.

• 1:28:56Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 1:28:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:28:57Mark Normand?

  Indian hair is the best hair.

• 1:28:59Speaker 05

  Indian hair is the best. It's the most coveted hair.

• 1:29:01Mark Normand?

  Beautiful head.

• 1:29:02Sam Morril?

  You got a great, look at that hairline, that's fucking crazy.

• 1:29:04Speaker 05

  Bro, thank you.

• 1:29:06Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:29:06Speaker 05

  Like, hey, I lucked out.

• 1:29:08Mark Normand?

  If you fail in comedy, you could sell that.

• 1:29:09Speaker 05

  Are you selling?

• 1:29:10Mark Normand?

  And you'd be cleaning up.

• 1:29:11Speaker 05

  For sure, for sure. Was I supposed to bring in a bit?

• 1:29:13Mark Normand?

  If you got one.

• 1:29:15Sam Morril?

  We could, yeah.

• 1:29:15Mark Normand?

  Like a half baked, not ready yet.

• 1:29:18Speaker 05

  I don't even have, yeah.

• 1:29:19Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:29:19Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we got, we do bits, wrecks and peeves on here.

• 1:29:23Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:29:23Mark Normand?

  Speaking of bombing, I saw Louis bombing for a good month, and I'll say this to the camera. He was dying up there, and now I saw him two nights ago, it's all working.

• 1:29:32Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:32Mark Normand?

  The same shit.

• 1:29:33Sam Morril?

  It is pretty cool.

• 1:29:34Mark Normand?

  It's incredible to watch.

• 1:29:35Speaker 05

  Incredible, man.

• 1:29:35Sam Morril?

  He gave me, he gave me.

• 1:29:36Speaker 05

  Can you turn around a bit like that?

• 1:29:37Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:38Mark Normand?

  It takes me, sometimes it takes me six months, sometimes I get it in a week, it's all over the road.

• 1:29:42Sam Morril?

  Mark is being humble, I do think of all my friends who have a premise, he sticks with it as well as anybody. Like, he will have a bit not working, and then it'll just be fucking, like, I'll just see one day, like, holy shit, I didn't, and I always believe in it, but I'm also like, there's times when I'm like, oh, I didn't see it there, like, I just, sometimes, you know, if you find something funny, clearly there's something there and you're just not articulating it, but, but the way he sticks with it is pretty cool.

• 1:30:11Speaker 05

  And there's, there's also the, um, it's always the, what's the link that I'm missing?

• 1:30:16Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:30:17Speaker 05

  Oh, it's just the link.

• 1:30:18Mark Normand?

  The puzzle piece, it's right there.

• 1:30:20Speaker 05

  Okay, has somebody done that, somebody's done this bit, but, um.

• 1:30:24Sam Morril?

  The arrow in the head?

• 1:30:25Speaker 05

  The arrow in the head, yeah, yeah. Um.

• 1:30:29Speaker 05

  Remember when you were in elementary school? Like, the fastest kid in your class?

• 1:30:35Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:30:35Speaker 05

  Was the, the biggest, speed in third grade was the biggest flex in the world. Like, I remember at recess, it'd be like, do you remember the fastest kid in your class?

• 1:30:45Mark Normand?

  I do.

• 1:30:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, and you knew him by name.

• 1:30:47Mark Normand?

  Tony Champagne.

• 1:30:48Speaker 05

  That's what I'm saying, so, so there's something in this idea. I've been trying to fucking crack this bit for a year.

• 1:30:54Mark Normand?

  It's very male, I don't think women were sitting around like, she's quick.

• 1:30:57Sam Morril?

  But, but, but.

• 1:30:58Speaker 05

  Girls would come, girls would.

• 1:31:00Mark Normand?

  To watch.

• 1:31:00Speaker 05

  To recess.

• 1:31:01Mark Normand?

  Ah-ha.

• 1:31:02Speaker 05

  Down at recess.

• 1:31:03Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:31:03Speaker 05

  And it was like, I will race you.

• 1:31:05Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:31:06Speaker 05

  And then to get older. There's something in this idea.

• 1:31:08Mark Normand?

  I like it, I like it.

• 1:31:09Speaker 05

  Because like.

• 1:31:09Sam Morril?

  Well, when you're young, it's racing, when you're older, it's fighting, I think. Like, like, eighth grade, like, who's the toughest?

• 1:31:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:31:15Sam Morril?

  You know, so it's like fight or flight.

• 1:31:16Speaker 05

  What's the currency, like, now?

• 1:31:18Mark Normand?

  Money.

• 1:31:19Speaker 05

  Money, yeah, yeah.

• 1:31:20Mark Normand?

  Success.

• 1:31:20Speaker 05

  I'm trying to think of the, do you know what I mean? The thing that's not.

• 1:31:25Mark Normand?

  The easy punchline at the end would be, and now I'm fast and my wife hates it. But that's, that's too easy. But yeah, there's, there's something relatable for sure about this.

• 1:31:33Speaker 05

  And like, in the, the vein of the, you ever do this where you're like, this is how my brain works?

• 1:31:40Speaker 05

  I almost hear it like a song. I'm like, I know the joke is gonna go like this.

• 1:31:43Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:31:44Speaker 05

  Produce a song like.

• 1:31:45Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:31:45Speaker 05

  So like, a little bit of this bit, I know, I have to pepper it up top the way Cosby did the dentist thing.

• 1:31:50Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:31:51Speaker 05

  Cause it is a remember, you remember when joke?

• 1:31:53Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:31:53Speaker 05

  And there's, so there's like, there could be a crowd work element of like, who was it? Is it Nick? And you remember like, da da da, like, I'll meet you at recess. And then the idea of recess, like, just, just like random 20 minute break where we would somehow fucking organize this.

• 1:32:07Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:32:08Speaker 05

  Flies.

• 1:32:10Speaker 05

  Fight. You know what I mean? This match. And then maybe there's like a, a way to be like, you can't do that as adults, but like, chase me.

• 1:32:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:32:17Speaker 05

  The idea of like, chase me, they're like, hey, chase me.

• 1:32:19Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:32:20Speaker 05

  They think it's so fucking great.

• 1:32:22Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:22Speaker 05

  Like, my son could come up and be like, hey, will you chase me? And you'd be like, alright, I'll chase you. You know, but like, you do that now.

• 1:32:27Sam Morril?

  It's a skill that doesn't translate to adulthood. Like, there's no use for being fast.

• 1:32:32Mark Normand?

  Unless you're the Olympics. That's really the only way is to go all the way with it.

• 1:32:35Sam Morril?

  But there's like five people that.

• 1:32:36Speaker 05

  Is there, is there some primal, like, like, thing in our amygdala of like, no, speed means you're, you can be the leader of the pack?

• 1:32:46Mark Normand?

  Probably, yeah.

• 1:32:47Speaker 05

  Impressive.

• 1:32:47Mark Normand?

  I don't know. It's like, goes back to the hunter gatherer days. You could chase a gazelle, who the hell knows? Or you can get away from an enemy.

• 1:32:53Speaker 05

  But at age seven, why did we?

• 1:32:55Mark Normand?

  I don't know. Well, sex wasn't introduced yet.

• 1:32:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:58Mark Normand?

  That's what I think, you're like, this, you're focused so, you have a small bubble when you're a kid. So speed was everything.

• 1:33:04Sam Morril?

  Woman now is like, is like, does he have a lot of money? No, but he's like a fucking cheater dude.

• 1:33:08Mark Normand?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 1:33:09Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:09Mark Normand?

  Money and sex come into your life later and you're like, fuck running. This is important. And I think that's what the thing is, as a kid, that was your, your world was speed.

• 1:33:17Speaker 05

  So I'm, I'm out of the adult, I've been out of, I'm married, it'll be now like almost 10 years. What's the, what's the currency that matters? Like, I have friends that have told me that for some reason, height is a big deal.

• 1:33:28Mark Normand?

  Height's big. But that's for getting laid though.

• 1:33:30Speaker 05

  They'll get eliminated from the love, from, on height.

• 1:33:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:33:35Speaker 05

  That's fucked up.

• 1:33:36Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that was him. That was the kid in my school. Tony Champagne. You found him.

• 1:33:39Speaker 05

  That's crazy.

• 1:33:40Mark Normand?

  Friend of mine.

• 1:33:41Speaker 05

  Okay, look at this. Store manager at Ross Stores, Inc. Did you see what I'm saying?

• 1:33:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah, shout out Tony, my old pal.

• 1:33:46Speaker 05

  But Tony Champagne Jr., like, in the third grade, bro, that, like, being the fastest kid in your class was like, "Yeah, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a partner at Aiken Gump." Like, I'm-

• 1:33:56Sam Morril?

  The champagne of sprinters.

• 1:33:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:33:58Mark Normand?

  Run for his run. I mean, running is in there. It's, it's important.

• 1:34:01Speaker 05

  That's crazy.

• 1:34:02Sam Morril?

  This is also Tony Champagne. How many Tony Champagnes in New Orleans do you think there are?

• 1:34:05Mark Normand?

  It's a common name.

• 1:34:06Sam Morril?

  It also sounds like a guy who would fuck it over with money.

• 1:34:09Speaker 05

  Those are wildly different Tony Champagnes.

• 1:34:12Mark Normand?

  That was the black guy.

• 1:34:13Speaker 05

  That's dope, man.

• 1:34:14Sam Morril?

  Hey, Tony Champagne, you piece of shit. You better make good on that bet.

• 1:34:18Mark Normand?

  Uh, that kid could run. Tell you that right now.

• 1:34:22Sam Morril?

  He never stopped running.

• 1:34:23Mark Normand?

  And he was a good drawer.

• 1:34:25Speaker 05

  What's it like for you to meet people now, Sam? Like, when you meet people to date?

• 1:34:30Sam Morril?

  To go on dates?

• 1:34:31Speaker 05

  You're kind of fam- famous.

• 1:34:32Sam Morril?

  Uh-

• 1:34:33Mark Normand?

  That is tough.

• 1:34:34Sam Morril?

  I haven't been on a date in a while, but, uh, there was a period where it was like, no one gives a shit.

• 1:34:39Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:34:39Sam Morril?

  No, I don't think anyone cares.

• 1:34:41Speaker 05

  But they just knew you're, you're financially secure. So they're like, alright.

• 1:34:43Sam Morril?

  Uh-

• 1:34:44Mark Normand?

  And tall.

• 1:34:45Sam Morril?

  I guess. Yeah, it didn't really do me that many, unless, occasionally I get like, "I don't, my brother thinks you're funny. I don't know who the fuck you are." That was like, I would get, like, uh, you know, something like that. It was nothing- This might be delicate. Do you ever match with someone on Raya? Who what? Have you ever matched with someone on Raya? Yeah, of course, yeah. Ever?

• 1:35:04Mark Normand?

  What the hell was that?

• 1:35:05Sam Morril?

  Why is that delicate? Because you have a girlfriend now. I didn't want to- Oh, yeah, I don't give a shit. Alright, who'd you match with on Raya? Oh, I don't want to say. That's-

• 1:35:12Mark Normand?

  Ah!

• 1:35:13Speaker 05

  Rico statutes, man.

• 1:35:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah. It was, uh, no, I don't want to put people on blast there, you know, but, uh, fine, it was Helen Mirren. And I fucked her twice, too.

• 1:35:24Speaker 05

  Yo, you want to know what crazy-

• 1:35:25Sam Morril?

  And then I ran away Champagne style.

• 1:35:27Speaker 05

  You know, this, I felt, I'm not on Raya, but I felt a certain way. I had like, some Instagram clip that I put up, you know, on my channel, and Helen Hunt liked it. And I was like, woo! It got me feeling a certain way. I'm not trying to brag, but it was Helen Hunt?

• 1:35:40Mark Normand?

  I love you like I do.

• 1:35:43Sam Morril?

  I was like, yeah.

• 1:35:46Mark Normand?

  It's good.

• 1:35:47Speaker 05

  Oh, let me, let me ask you guys this. What was your, um, do you remember your first cartoon crush?

• 1:35:53Mark Normand?

  Well, Jessica Rabbit is the obvious answer.

• 1:35:55Sam Morril?

  That's tough.

• 1:35:56Speaker 05

  I was, mine, mine's was Anastasia.

• 1:35:58Mark Normand?

  Anastasia.

• 1:35:59Speaker 05

  And it made me kinda like have a crush on Meg Ryan.

• 1:36:02Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:36:02Speaker 05

  Because Meg Ryan was the voice of Anastasia.

• 1:36:04Mark Normand?

  Right, right. Meg Ryan's cute. I don't know Anastasia. What, what, what Disney was that?

• 1:36:08Speaker 05

  It was, it wasn't Disney. That was, it was the whole, it was a darker animated movie.

• 1:36:12Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:36:13Speaker 05

  Which was kinda like.

• 1:36:13Mark Normand?

  Got it. Got it.

• 1:36:15Speaker 05

  By the way, are you guys watching, seeing a darker, are you guys watching Penguin?

• 1:36:17Mark Normand?

  Yes, just got into it.

• 1:36:19Speaker 05

  Oh, you guys already talked about it on the podcast.

• 1:36:21Sam Morril?

  I think it's pretty good, man. It's a good show.

• 1:36:25Speaker 05

  It's good or great?

• 1:36:27Sam Morril?

  I think when people were saying it's in the same conversation like this.

• 1:36:29Speaker 05

  Breaking Bad.

• 1:36:30Sam Morril?

  The Wire.

• 1:36:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:30Sam Morril?

  You gotta settle down, but it's a, it's a really good show.

• 1:36:32Mark Normand?

  But Colin Farrell alone is amazing. It carries the whole show. It's just like, wow, he's so different.

• 1:36:37Speaker 05

  There's a lot of, there's a lot of like, good. So, so there's a lot of okay. So the fact that it was like, good to great, made it.

• 1:36:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah. And you gotta love the IP juke they did of like, hey, you like Batman, huh? Check this out. It has nothing to do with Batman.

• 1:36:53Speaker 05

  And also, isn't it crazy, and I'm on episode four right now, but they, there's no mention.

• 1:36:57Mark Normand?

  Nothing.

• 1:36:58Speaker 05

  Of the Batman.

• 1:36:59Mark Normand?

  They, they got us in with the name we know and then they pulled the rug out.

• 1:37:02Speaker 05

  Do you feel there's a little bit, like what I like about it is the, it's, it has a little bit of that Breaking Bad factor.

• 1:37:07Mark Normand?

  Sure, sure.

• 1:37:08Speaker 05

  Of like, at the end of every episode, he's cornered in some way.

• 1:37:11Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:37:11Speaker 05

  And you're like, how is he?

• 1:37:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:13Sam Morril?

  It is fun to root for the bad guy a little bit.

• 1:37:15Speaker 05

  It is.

• 1:37:16Mark Normand?

  And he's so fucked up that he's kind of an underdog.

• 1:37:18Speaker 05

  Have you guys seen the clip of him when he's, when he's rapping? I think it came out yesterday.

• 1:37:22Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:37:22Speaker 05

  Of him in full Penguin. Play it. Him in full Penguin.

• 1:37:25Mark Normand?

  Uh oh.

• 1:37:26Speaker 05

  But he, but he's talking like Colin.

• 1:37:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Rico.

• 1:37:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no.

• 1:37:30Mark Normand?

  Oh, geez.

• 1:37:31Speaker 05

  Not rapping, not rapping.

• 1:37:31Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:37:32Speaker 05

  When they rapped production.

• 1:37:34Mark Normand?

  Oh, I didn't, I love the same.

• 1:37:37Speaker 05

  But he's in. Jesus, man. Yeah.

• 1:37:42Sam Morril?

  That is hilarious that that's how I read it.

• 1:37:44Mark Normand?

  I did the same thing.

• 1:37:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:37:46Mark Normand?

  We both did the Rico joke.

• 1:37:47Speaker 05

  But, but it's, it's a, it's like, it's like Colin Farrell, like, talking to the cast when they rapped.

• 1:37:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, take a minute, but it's wild hearing him talk like Colin in the full prosthetics.

• 1:38:03Mark Normand?

  Is there a?

• 1:38:06Sam Morril?

  Krista Malati. She's amazing.

• 1:38:08Mark Normand?

  She's great.

• 1:38:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah, she's awesome.

• 1:38:09Mark Normand?

  Layered character, too.

• 1:38:10Speaker 05

  What do you guys, what do you, do you guys do the whole PS5 thing on the road? Do you guys do movies?

• 1:38:14Mark Normand?

  We drink.

• 1:38:15Sam Morril?

  Movies and booze. I'm doing the bus the whole run next year, pretty much.

• 1:38:18Speaker 05

  Bus is so fun.

• 1:38:19Sam Morril?

  And, yeah, I got, I bought so many fucking Blu-rays. It was, it was, I'm texting Vider, I'm like, what do you think about this one? He's like, dude, we gotta re-watch Cape Fear. He wants to watch like De Niro.

• 1:38:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's great.

• 1:38:30Sam Morril?

  He's just picking out, dude, I got Deliverance for the South, I got, uh, what else?

• 1:38:35Mark Normand?

  Oh, fun.

• 1:38:36Sam Morril?

  So many good ones coming. I just bought The Game with Michael Douglas.

• 1:38:39Mark Normand?

  Oh, great. That's a fun movie.

• 1:38:41Speaker 05

  Oh, that's great. Fincher directed that, right?

• 1:38:43Mark Normand?

  That's right.

• 1:38:43Sam Morril?

  Yes.

• 1:38:44Mark Normand?

  That's right.

• 1:38:45Sam Morril?

  I got some really good ones. I got some, I got fucking Man Hunter and Thief.

• 1:38:48Mark Normand?

  Nice, Michael Mann.

• 1:38:50Speaker 05

  Let me just say this, by the way, we gotta.

• 1:38:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, jeez.

• 1:38:57Mark Normand?

  Plug your dates.

• 1:38:58Speaker 05

  No, man, let's do, let's do 10 minutes. Let's wind it down. 10 more minutes. Let them know we'll wind it down.

• 1:39:02Mark Normand?

  Woohoo.

• 1:39:03Sam Morril?

  I like it.

• 1:39:04Speaker 05

  What was I gonna say? Uh, fuck.

• 1:39:06Mark Normand?

  Penguin.

• 1:39:07Speaker 05

  No, no, no.

• 1:39:07Mark Normand?

  What were you talking about? Malati.

• 1:39:09Sam Morril?

  Tour Bus?

• 1:39:10Mark Normand?

  Tour Bus, PS5.

• 1:39:11Speaker 05

  Dude, what I love about the movies, I love about the, no, but, um, this comic that would open for me, Mekki Leeper, it was a very funny comic.

• 1:39:17Mark Normand?

  Oh, I know Mekki. That's a good guy.

• 1:39:19Sam Morril?

  He was on that Amazon show, too, right?

• 1:39:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:39:21Mark Normand?

  Jury Duty.

• 1:39:21Speaker 05

  Yeah. Mekki's super funny.

• 1:39:23Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:23Speaker 05

  But, um, he brought a Nintendo Switch to the, like, to the Tour Bus a couple of years ago. The graphics on the video, dude, it's unreal. So you should just, you should absolutely get like a PS5, Nintendo Switch.

• 1:39:37Mark Normand?

  Which one is that? Is that the little one?

• 1:39:39Speaker 05

  You didn't, you didn't like it?

• 1:39:40Sam Morril?

  Well, no, I did, but I did it on the road with Aziz Ansari, and I was with Mateo, and he's such a little glitch bitch. He knows how to win every, every little cheat code. Mateo's just doing like some shit. I'm like, how the fuck are you in first place by this much?

• 1:39:53Speaker 05

  Mateo's so talented.

• 1:39:54Sam Morril?

  You guys don't, yeah, he is talented at everything.

• 1:39:57Mark Normand?

  He is.

• 1:39:57Speaker 05

  There's, there's nothing he is bad.

• 1:39:59Sam Morril?

  We, we were on stage together the other night at The Cellar, and he's, he's speaking French to an audience.

• 1:40:03Mark Normand?

  Ah, singing, drawing.

• 1:40:06Speaker 05

  While wearing like a New York Knicks jersey.

• 1:40:07Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:40:08Speaker 05

  Fucking.

• 1:40:08Mark Normand?

  Ripped.

• 1:40:09Speaker 05

  He's got arms like Dwight Howard. It's like, god damn.

• 1:40:13Mark Normand?

  Those guns.

• 1:40:14Speaker 05

  Yeah. When he's, when he's bulking and cutting, it's just crazy. Yeah, play this clip of, of him and I.

• 1:40:21Sam Morril?

  Got my tits like shit.

• 1:40:29Speaker 05

  Trippy, right?

• 1:40:30Mark Normand?

  Blowing my tits off.

• 1:40:33Mark Normand?

  I will miss the suit.

• 1:40:36Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:40:37Sam Morril?

  He's had a crazy career because I feel like he was in a ton of shitty movies for a while and then he just like started just, he just got in a hot streak.

• 1:40:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:44Sam Morril?

  Kind of like McConaughey where it's like, we know you're good, you're just in a lot of, you can't, you can't always control what you're in.

• 1:40:49Mark Normand?

  Well, it's the hot guy fail, it's the hot guy problem.

• 1:40:52Sam Morril?

  But then he was in Imbrugge and I think everyone was like, oh shit, this guy's awesome.

• 1:40:55Mark Normand?

  Killer.

• 1:40:55Speaker 05

  Let me just say this, I love that you, uh, you're curating great movies. Let me just say one movie that I think is fucking great.

• 1:41:04Sam Morril?

  Hot Rec time.

• 1:41:05Speaker 05

  Okay, Any Given Sunday?

• 1:41:08Sam Morril?

  It's fun.

• 1:41:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, it's a classic.

• 1:41:09Speaker 05

  Is, um, who's the director of Any Given?

• 1:41:11Sam Morril?

  Oliver Stone.

• 1:41:12Mark Normand?

  Stone.

• 1:41:12Speaker 05

  Oliver Stone. He is slept on as a director.

• 1:41:15Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:15Speaker 05

  Like, I don't think, is he ever?

• 1:41:18Mark Normand?

  Born on the 4th of July?

• 1:41:18Speaker 05

  Is he put in the, like, the Quentin Tarantino, Steven Spielberg conversation?

• 1:41:21Speaker 02

  No, he's not.

• 1:41:22Speaker 05

  People don't put Oliver Stone in that conversation.

• 1:41:23Sam Morril?

  Speaking of the Tarantino, Spielberg, he, he direct, didn't he do Natural Born Killers, which Tarantino hid the story and he was like, I want nothing to do with.

• 1:41:31Mark Normand?

  Also, Stone just did that new Megalopolis and I think, was it Coppola? Okay.

• 1:41:35Sam Morril?

  No, he did Platoon though, he did Wall Street, he did some.

• 1:41:38Speaker 05

  So I, I would say, I would say, like, if you look at the cinematography of Wall Street.

• 1:41:42Speaker 02

  I think he wrote Scarface, by the way.

• 1:41:45Speaker 05

  And Any Given Sunday.

• 1:41:46Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:41:46Speaker 05

  You're just like, the tone of it, the tone of it's great. Any Given Sunday, to me, is like, for, I haven't seen a better, like, football movie.

• 1:41:54Sam Morril?

  Jamie Foxx was awesome.

• 1:41:55Speaker 05

  Fucking great. Willie Beaman's amazing. Bill Bellamy is like, like, a fan of his. Fucking great.

• 1:42:00Sam Morril?

  LL Cool J.

• 1:42:00Speaker 05

  LL Cool J.

• 1:42:01Mark Normand?

  That's right.

• 1:42:02Speaker 05

  They apparently like legitimately got in a fight on set, LL Cool J and Jamie Foxx. So there's a whole lore about them, like, in that scene where they're in the bathroom and they, they full on go at it. Yeah, and, and, and the story is, like, Oliver Stone just let it rip.

• 1:42:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:17Speaker 05

  Just like, yeah, yeah, just talk that shit, like, yeah. So they were both kind of, it's that beautiful thing of like, they were in character because LL is still kind of LL at that era. And then Jamie's kind of coming up and he's kind of an R and B singer and that, like, so.

• 1:42:29Mark Normand?

  Egos.

• 1:42:30Speaker 05

  It's great.

• 1:42:31Sam Morril?

  Quaid, we were talking.

• 1:42:31Speaker 05

  Dennis Quaid, yeah.

• 1:42:32Sam Morril?

  Held on too long. He's like the, he's the older quarterback in that.

• 1:42:36Mark Normand?

  By the way, LL, real badass. A guy broke into his house, he beat him up.

• 1:42:40Speaker 05

  Fucking great.

• 1:42:40Mark Normand?

  Pull that story.

• 1:42:41Speaker 05

  By the way, hey, hey, if I'm gonna, if I'm gonna do a pitch. By the way, by the way, LL, if you wanna, would you guys have him on? We might be.

• 1:42:47Mark Normand?

  Of course, we'd love to have LL.

• 1:42:49Speaker 05

  He's on a pod run right now.

• 1:42:51Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:42:52Speaker 05

  There's two people that are doing podcast runs right now. Let me just shout them out too, that are fucking killing it. LL Cool J is ripping through every pod.

• 1:42:59Mark Normand?

  I had no idea.

• 1:43:00Speaker 05

  This dude has stories. Like, he's like, you wanna know how I recorded an album with Michael Jackson? You're like, what the fuck? Where's this story coming from?

• 1:43:05Mark Normand?

  He's a Queens guy.

• 1:43:06Speaker 05

  So LL Cool J is doing, is like ripping through podcasts, has amazing stories, and Marlon Wayans.

• 1:43:10Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 1:43:11Sam Morril?

  We tried to get him.

• 1:43:12Speaker 05

  Marlon is like, killing it.

• 1:43:14Sam Morril?

  I met him at that Skid Super Show. He was very cool, but I, uh, yeah, his stories are insane too.

• 1:43:19Mark Normand?

  Of course.

• 1:43:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, he was like, oh, his friends at Tupac, and da-da-da. And by the, another great movie with Marlon Wayans, Above the Rim.

• 1:43:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:43:24Speaker 05

  Great movie.

• 1:43:25Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:43:25Speaker 05

  Oh, get that for the.

• 1:43:26Sam Morril?

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna get that for the bud.

• 1:43:27Speaker 05

  Um.

• 1:43:28Speaker 02

  So, sorry guys, our guest has to go. He, our guest has to go.

• 1:43:31Sam Morril?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:43:32Mark Normand?

  All right, what you got, what you got on tour?

• 1:43:33Speaker 05

  Uh, I'm, I'm not on tour, but watch the special on Netflix, please.

• 1:43:36Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 1:43:36Speaker 05

  Off with his head, streaming now on Netflix. I'm really proud of it.

• 1:43:39Mark Normand?

  It's very, I think it's your best one.

• 1:43:40Speaker 05

  Thank you, man.

• 1:43:41Sam Morril?

  I'm pumped to see.

• 1:43:41Speaker 05

  I think you guys will enjoy it. Thank you, guys.

• 1:43:43Mark Normand?

  Thanks for coming in, man. That was great. Good chatting. We went deep.

• 1:43:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah, Mark, where you gonna be, man?

• 1:43:49Mark Normand?

  I'm gonna be all over the road. I got Inglewood, New Jersey. What is it? Oh, got it. All right, we just wrapped up Providence. Now we're coming to Wilkes-Barre, PA, Inglewood, New Jersey. Doing a run in Houston at the Improv, polished this hour, a run at the Stand Up Live in Phoenix, Dallas Improv in Addison, and the Ryman in Tennessee, Nashville.

• 1:44:12Sam Morril?

  Where are you taping the special?

• 1:44:14Mark Normand?

  I don't know yet. I think I got three, Minneapolis, San Diego, Denver. Those are my three options.

• 1:44:19Sam Morril?

  Let's talk about it.

• 1:44:19Mark Normand?

  Okay, we'll talk.

• 1:44:20Sam Morril?

  I wanna hear your thoughts on each.

• 1:44:21Mark Normand?

  I like it. Where are you at, there, fatty?

• 1:44:23Sam Morril?

  Yeah, where, where are we starting? The 8th of December. I just added a bunch of clubs to work out before I go on the theaters. So I added San Antonio, January 3rd and 4th. We added Liberty Township, Ohio.

• 1:44:36Mark Normand?

  Oh yeah, I know it.

• 1:44:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:37Mark Normand?

  Outside Cincinnati.

• 1:44:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah, right outside Cincinnati. Then we got Pittsburgh, January 23rd through 25th. And then we hit the fucking bus, baby. Uh, first two days I think we're doing a runner, but Charlotte, Richmond, Philly, DC, Bethlehem, Tulsa, Austin, Dallas, Houston, New Orleans, Memphis. It goes on and on. Knoxville, Nashville, Birmingham, Atlanta, Durham, New Haven, Providence, Portsmouth, uh, Portland, Maine, Burlington. Go to the website, Montreal, Toronto. Goes on and on. I am hitting your city and if I'm not, I'll do it in the fall. Samorell.com/shows or PunchUp.live slash Mark Norman, PunchUp.live slash Samorell. We're on there. Get some tickets. Buy some Bodega Cat. We love ya. Watch Haas and Special.

• 1:45:21Sam Morril?

  Uh, our buddy and, uh, Salamanca, you anything to promote here?

• 1:45:25Speaker 02

  Just Page to Stage. It's on, uh, Punch Up Live. You can buy it for three bucks. It's a documentary I made with Mark about writing one joke.

• 1:45:32Mark Normand?

  And we did Michelle Wolf and we just did one with the Seinfeld, uh, appearance and all that. So we're cooking.

• 1:45:38Sam Morril?

  All right. Well, awesome. Love you guys. Keep listening. Tell your friends and get some Bodega Cat.

• 1:45:43Mark Normand?

  Hell yeah. Comedy.