The Emotional Finale of Dec’s Diary & Ant’s Awkward Goodbye

It’s a very special episode for DEC’S DIARY: THE FINALE and things get emotional! The team have donned their butt cut wigs and Ant’s dressed like PJ plus a 90s popstar and a Hollywood actor chime in for this very special final chapter Plus, we hear about the boys’ recent trip to New York to see England play, we’ve got your tattoos, and Hecklers’ Corner Shop is open for business! As always we love to hear from you, so keep your correspondence coming to [email protected]. Be sure to sign off your email with the name you'd like us to use. If you'd rather we didn't mention your surname, simply leave it out. And if you'd like a full name shout out, throw the whole thing in there ----- 00:00 - Coming up 00:36 - We're excited for Dec's Diary finale! 04:38 - Ant & Dec fly to see England play football 13:30 - The Hecklers' Corner Shop 20:07 - A call from Bad Boys Inc 22:50 - Dec's Diary Quiz 28:47 - Tattoo Time! 35:28 - Another excited caller for Dec's Diary 36:50 - A dodgy Simon Cowell impression 45:26 - Postbag WITH a new jingle :eyes: 53:16 - Michael Sheen introduces Dec's Diary 56:44 - Dec's Diary: The Final Chapter 01:01:20 - Dec's letter to 1994 Dec 01:06:44 - The shoes are back for swap next week! Send in your swaps! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:07Speaker 00

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• 0:52Speaker 00

  Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more, or visit tremfyaradio.com.

• 1:00Declan Donnelly?

  Coming up on today's show, Ant does an uncanny impression of Simon Cowell.

• 1:05Ant McPartlin?

  Dear Derek, Ant and Dec for amazing g-g-g-g-g. Does Dex have ADHD? He was distracted?

• 1:13Declan Donnelly?

  I was distracted. We went to New York City and watched some soccer! Can we talk about, uhh...

• 1:19Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, whoa, yeah, look! I pop into Heckler's Corner Shop, I'm gonna try before I buy. Oh, took my heart, fun.

• 1:30Declan Donnelly?

  And it's the final Dex diary.

• 1:32Ant McPartlin?

  And boy, are we excited!

• 1:34Declan Donnelly?

  Enjoy the show!

• 1:48Declan Donnelly?

  Wow!

• 1:49Ant McPartlin?

  I was gonna wear my P G hat, but it's been too small for me head now! Oh no! Oh no! Turn the lights on.

• 1:57Declan Donnelly?

  Oh goodness, this is all.

• 1:58Ant McPartlin?

  How are you all?

• 1:59Declan Donnelly?

  It's all gone to pop this. Oh my god, my chair is stuck on my cable.

• 2:03Ant McPartlin?

  How are you all?

• 2:04Speaker 03

  Hello, the time is now and welcome to the news.

• 2:07Declan Donnelly?

  What's going on? What a chaotic start to the show.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  Our top headline, excitement has swept the nation as we prepare for what experts are already calling the most significant event since the King's coronation.

• 2:19Ant McPartlin?

  Do you know what it is?

• 2:20Speaker 03

  The exciting finale of Dex's diary.

• 2:22Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, baby, yeah!

• 2:24Speaker 03

  Since the podcast launched in January of this year, fans across the globe have diligently tuned in each week for the next instalment of the diary.

• 2:33Declan Donnelly?

  I love the bit where he talks about the girls going wild, the fat guys.

• 2:37Speaker 04

  I couldn't sleep with the anticipation of would Dex have a hairdryer?

• 2:41Speaker 03

  The authorities are urging citizens to remain calm, although many have already begun celebrating prematurely. Historians and scholars are intrigued to finally learn the truth of Dex's final days of life on the road.

• 2:54Speaker 05

  It's the cultural impact these final days had on society, and particularly the music industry as a whole, which makes this so monumental.

• 3:04Speaker 03

  While scientists and environmentalists have heralded the diary as groundbreaking.

• 3:09Speaker 05

  We've never seen or heard of girls going quite this wild before.

• 3:13Speaker 03

  That's all the headlines for now. Up next, the Houses of Parliament discuss whether Dex's diary should have its own public day.

• 3:22Declan Donnelly?

  I think it probably should. That is incredible. Is that a proper news report? That is the real news.

• 3:27Ant McPartlin?

  That's the real news on all of the real news networks.

• 3:30Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, it is the final instalment of Dex's diary later today on the show. It is a little underwhelming, guys.

• 3:38Ant McPartlin?

  I'm sure it's not.

• 3:39Declan Donnelly?

  You've gone all out.

• 3:40Ant McPartlin?

  I'm sure it's not.

• 3:41Declan Donnelly?

  If you're just listening, Ant is here in his PJ Tampa Bay Lightning.

• 3:46Ant McPartlin?

  This is from the album cover, the Psych album cover.

• 3:49Declan Donnelly?

  It is, he's fully dressed.

• 3:51Ant McPartlin?

  I do have the hat, but the hat's a bit tight.

• 3:53Declan Donnelly?

  Has your head got bigger since?

• 3:55Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I don't think my head got bigger. Oh, can't quite bring... This wasn't my hat. This was somebody else's hat. Was this your hat?

• 4:03Declan Donnelly?

  No, it's got an A on it.

• 4:04Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I know, but you like me a lot. So that's why you've got that. Also...

• 4:10Declan Donnelly?

  Can we talk about the hair? The butt cuts? Everybody here in the studio is wearing a butt cut wig.

• 4:16Ant McPartlin?

  Well, yeah, they're kind of butt cut wigs, aren't they? They look like the back of my dog at the minute. Who's not very well. He's had a bit of a butt cut. He's um.

• 4:27Declan Donnelly?

  Is this, is you, oh, sorry, go on.

• 4:30Ant McPartlin?

  You just couldn't interrupt my story about my poorly dog, were you?

• 4:32Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I was, yeah, then I thought, oh, his dog's poorly gone.

• 4:35Ant McPartlin?

  He's had to have his um.

• 4:37Declan Donnelly?

  Anus. Anus.

• 4:39Ant McPartlin?

  Anus shaved. Because he's got an infected gland. So your, all of your haircuts look a little bit like my dog Bumble at the minute.

• 4:48Speaker 06

  I've had people going to school dressed like this.

• 4:50Ant McPartlin?

  What do you mean?

• 4:51Speaker 06

  Like Dec, for the diary.

• 4:52Declan Donnelly?

  For World Book Day?

• 4:53Speaker 06

  No, for Dec's diary.

• 4:55Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, for the, for the finale?

• 4:56Speaker 06

  People across the country are dressing up like that.

• 4:57Declan Donnelly?

  Are they?

• 4:58Ant McPartlin?

  Are they?

• 4:59Speaker 06

  Yeah, we've had letters.

• 5:01Ant McPartlin?

  It's very exciting. I can't wait.

• 5:03Declan Donnelly?

  Don't get too excited.

• 5:04Ant McPartlin?

  I can't wait to hear the final entry in, in the diary.

• 5:07Declan Donnelly?

  Don't get too excited.

• 5:09Ant McPartlin?

  We'll all get to hear it today and then of course I'm sure it'll be published just in time for Christmas. So it's a really good stocking filler. It's a good idea, isn't it?

• 5:16Declan Donnelly?

  It is a good idea. It's quite underwhelming, so don't.

• 5:19Ant McPartlin?

  I'm sure it won't be.

• 5:19Declan Donnelly?

  Let's not make a big deal of it.

• 5:20Ant McPartlin?

  I'm sure it won't be. I'm sure it won't be.

• 5:24Declan Donnelly?

  Let's. Let's not make a big deal of it.

• 5:27Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, but the diary is coming up later on in the show.

• 5:29Declan Donnelly?

  It sure is.

• 5:30Ant McPartlin?

  So stay tuned for that. Don't dip out, dip in. Stay, stay, stay in, stay in.

• 5:36Declan Donnelly?

  Uh, before we get there, can we talk about, um.

• 5:40Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, whoa, yeah, look.

• 5:43Declan Donnelly?

  If you're just listening, we've got our accreditation on for the FIFA World Cup 2026.

• 5:48Ant McPartlin?

  Just to say, I was there.

• 5:49Declan Donnelly?

  Just, we've just returned from New York, New Jersey.

• 5:53Ant McPartlin?

  I was there.

• 5:53Declan Donnelly?

  Where we watched England beat Panama 2-0 in the Stotendown rain.

• 5:59Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, did you see us on our socials and our ponchos?

• 6:02Declan Donnelly?

  Wow.

• 6:03Speaker 06

  Didn't it look glamorous?

• 6:04Ant McPartlin?

  It wasn't that glamorous, I'll be honest with you.

• 6:06Declan Donnelly?

  It was quite glamorous to be in New York, New Jersey for the football, um, but it was very glamorous sitting in the rain.

• 6:13Ant McPartlin?

  We stayed in Brooklyn, so we stayed right opposite the ITV studio where they host all of their World Cup coverage from. And the studio itself is one of the most impressive things I've ever seen. We're proper starstruck where we see the studio. It's brilliant what they've done. The first story, I was like, that's not real. Yeah, it's not green screen. It's great.

• 6:35Declan Donnelly?

  The bits of it are, bits of it are green screen and, and what is it augmented reality.

• 6:39Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 6:40Declan Donnelly?

  But um the majority of it is real and it is one of the most impressive sets we've ever been on. And we've been on quite a lot of sets.

• 6:48Ant McPartlin?

  Quite a lot of sets, guys.

• 6:49Declan Donnelly?

  In the world. Um it's, it's absolutely brilliant.

• 6:52Ant McPartlin?

  It's great. You've got Brooklyn Bridge right behind it. You can see the river. On one of the days, there was a jet ski kind of flotilla that went past, past the studio and we filmed it. But there was like thousands of people on jet skis.

• 7:07Declan Donnelly?

  Did we get that? Did we get that on our socials? Did we put it?

• 7:10Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we did. Yeah. Yeah. The one with Simon Cowell at the front.

• 7:12Declan Donnelly?

  That's right. Yes.

• 7:13Ant McPartlin?

  We presumed it was him. We couldn't quite see it clearly, but it will be him because he loves a jet ski and he likes being a leader.

• 7:21Ant McPartlin?

  So he would be at the front. But yeah, I mean, it was, it was the most impressive day. We went to, we'd done an interview with Laura Woods, who's lovely on ITV. And then we went off, um jumped in the minibus, went off to the MetLife Stadium for the game. Um with our passes, with our VIP passes, whole of that, we were there. It rained, so we had to wear ponchos. Um but first half wasn't great. Second half was better.

• 7:47Declan Donnelly?

  Was much better.

• 7:49Ant McPartlin?

  We have to point out, we haven't seen Wednesday night's game because we're, we're filming this on the day, just after we got back from New York.

• 7:58Declan Donnelly?

  Yes. So we're filming this on Tuesday. This is going out on Thursday and England play on Wednesday.

• 8:05Ant McPartlin?

  God, it just hurts me brain.

• 8:07Declan Donnelly?

  So prediction for tomorrow night against uh DR Congo, who Johan Wissa is playing for, Newcastle United striker. I think we will still win in normal time and I'm going with my previous prediction, which I got right versus Panama.

• 8:25Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 8:26Declan Donnelly?

  Of two nil. Two nil England.

• 8:30Ant McPartlin?

  Two one then. Two one, might be tighter than you think.

• 8:33Declan Donnelly?

  We're still to get one back for?

• 8:34Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I think so.

• 8:35Declan Donnelly?

  Doctor Congo?

• 8:36Ant McPartlin?

  For Doctor Congo, I think we still will get one for Congo.

• 8:39Declan Donnelly?

  We had a nice time though, didn't we?

• 8:40Ant McPartlin?

  We had a very nice time.

• 8:41Declan Donnelly?

  All around the, all around the football, we hung out in Brooklyn and we had a nice flight. We, um, we had a nice time at the airport on the way out.

• 8:50Ant McPartlin?

  We did, it was a nice.

• 8:51Declan Donnelly?

  Bought some nice chocolate for the plane.

• 8:53Ant McPartlin?

  We did, I didn't buy anything else. My spending barn is still intact.

• 8:58Declan Donnelly?

  It extended to a little bit of chocolate for the plane.

• 9:00Ant McPartlin?

  That's all right, it's in the city. You need a bit of chocolate for, you need snacks for the plane, right? Yeah? Why are you giggling?

• 9:08Declan Donnelly?

  Did you, did you clock the, um, social faux pas we had at the tills on the way?

• 9:13Ant McPartlin?

  No, no.

• 9:16Declan Donnelly?

  Um, we were at the pay, you know, the self pay tills.

• 9:20Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 9:20Declan Donnelly?

  We were just side by side buying our chocolate and this woman came over and she stood at the third till. And she went, are you okay, boys? And I, and I went, yes, thanks. Just off to the footy. And she looked at me like I was a bit of dirt on her shoe.

• 9:39Ant McPartlin?

  Because she was American, this woman.

• 9:40Declan Donnelly?

  She was American, looked past me and she had two little boys. She was talking to our kids.

• 9:46Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, I missed that. Well, I knew she was American because I overheard her talking to her boys.

• 9:50Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I thought she, we were just stood there and she came over and she looked over her left shoulder and we were stood there and she went, are you okay, boys? I went, yes, thanks. We were just off to the football. She just stared at me like, why are you speaking to me? I was like, she's a bit frosty. And then these two little kids came in and I went, oh, she was talking to my kids.

• 10:10Ant McPartlin?

  I had such a cringe moment flying back from New York though. So we flew back from JFK and we checked in. So firstly, can I just point out before I tell you this story? I persuaded Dec to do hand luggage only for an entire long weekend in New York.

• 10:28Declan Donnelly?

  I've never been so stressed in my life.

• 10:30Ant McPartlin?

  So we had one wheelie case that we were allowed to take on the flight. So bearing in mind, we were flying on the Friday. So we had Friday night when we got there. We had Saturday morning, we were having breakfast with the boss of ITV. Then we had an interview with Laura Woods on ITV Sport, on the ITV coverage. Then we were going off to the football and then we had the Saturday night. Then Sunday, we flew back, but not until six o'clock. So we had all day Sunday. So that's a potential, that's a lot of potential outfits. Yeah, but it can be done if you, if you, if you pack smartly. Dec didn't like the idea of this. Anyway, I persuaded you to do it. And how did you find it?

• 11:13Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I found it stressful. Let me just say that for to kick off. I found the whole thing.

• 11:18Ant McPartlin?

  Well, you were going to kick off with me.

• 11:21Declan Donnelly?

  I found the whole thing particularly stressful. I got there and I hung everything up so I could see it all. And I said, I haven't got enough stuff for this trip. And I like to have options.

• 11:29Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 11:30Declan Donnelly?

  But I couldn't have any options. I just had to pack the necessities. So it was fine. I had, I did have enough stuff. I got through it and we flew home. We got off the plane and I said to Anne, I can't believe the incredible feeling of smugness I feel right now. Getting off the plane and just walking straight through and out of the airport without having to wait for luggage. So it was all worth it.

• 11:54Ant McPartlin?

  But we landed, we were walked straight out, through passport control, straight out. Got picked up. By the time I got all the way home to the house, my, the driver that dropped me off had an alert on his phone. So he must have put like the, the flight details in his phone or something and got an alert when the bags were on the conveyor belt. He went, your bags have only just arrived at the conveyor belt and you're already home.

• 12:19Ant McPartlin?

  See, how much more smug do you feel now? More smug?

• 12:22Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, more smug.

• 12:23Ant McPartlin?

  I can tell by your face. Oh, is that just your face?

• 12:26Declan Donnelly?

  That's just my smug face.

• 12:27Ant McPartlin?

  Anyway, back to what I was going to say. On the flight back from New York, I was, so we just had hand luggage. So we went all the way through, got just about, nearly got on the flight. You know, when they double check your passport and your, and your, your boarding pass just before you get on the flight. And I just got through and the one went, oh, can you just come with me a second? Oh, no.

• 12:47Declan Donnelly?

  Go.

• 12:48Ant McPartlin?

  What's going on here? She went, for some reason, you're not in the system. She goes, I don't know how you've got this far. Did you hear her say that to us?

• 12:53Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I didn't, I didn't know what.

• 12:54Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. So anyway, she went on a computer. She went, don't worry, I can sort this all out. And then she goes, there you go. Have a nice flight. And she printed off a board and passed. She went, just take that just in case. I was thinking, well, the planes are just there. But anyway, I said, yeah, no problem. Thank you very much. She went, have a nice flight. I went, you too. Oh.

• 13:15Declan Donnelly?

  You too. And then you went, oh, she's not flying anywhere.

• 13:19Ant McPartlin?

  God, she's not flying. She's ground staff. She's ground staff. And I said, you too.

• 13:25Ant McPartlin?

  I thought about that a lot on the flight, on the five and a half hours flight home.

• 13:29Declan Donnelly?

  Flying anywhere.

• 13:30Ant McPartlin?

  Have a nice flight, you too. Oh, no. How embarrassing.

• 13:35Declan Donnelly?

  So I kept a close eye on you in New York as well.

• 13:37Ant McPartlin?

  Did you now?

• 13:38Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I did. Cause I was like, is he really not spending anything? And bar the chocolate bar on the way to America, he didn't really spend.

• 13:46Ant McPartlin?

  No. Good, eh?

• 13:47Declan Donnelly?

  Really good.

• 13:48Ant McPartlin?

  And I said to you on the Sunday, so we had Sunday mornings together, walking around Brooklyn, which was lovely, walking around trendy Brooklyn.

• 13:54Declan Donnelly?

  Lovely little ice cream together.

• 13:55Ant McPartlin?

  We did. Walked through the flea market, popped into a couple of shops. But I said to Zach, the good thing about taking hand luggage only is you can't buy anything because you can't fit it in your case.

• 14:04Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 14:06Ant McPartlin?

  So it's good and bad, but when you're on a spending ban, it's just good. It's all good. It's all good.

• 14:12Declan Donnelly?

  Only positives.

• 14:13Ant McPartlin?

  Have you got little bananas?

• 14:14Declan Donnelly?

  I've got a little banana for you for another week of.

• 14:16Ant McPartlin?

  Come on then.

• 14:17Declan Donnelly?

  Of no spending. So there you go.

• 14:19Ant McPartlin?

  So that is ten bananas, I think.

• 14:23Speaker 06

  Do you know what that means?

• 14:24Ant McPartlin?

  What does that mean?

• 14:25Speaker 06

  The heckler's corner shop has opened.

• 14:27Declan Donnelly?

  The heckler's corner shop?

• 14:29Ant McPartlin?

  Tell us more.

• 14:30Declan Donnelly?

  To spend his bananas?

• 14:31Speaker 06

  To spend your bananas in our corner shop. You can buy some stuff. Do you want to hear what we've got?

• 14:35Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, please.

• 14:36Speaker 06

  Right, we've each brought something in.

• 14:39Ant McPartlin?

  Is this your stuff or?

• 14:40Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, this is actually our stuff.

• 14:44Ant McPartlin?

  You're just a star.

• 14:47Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 14:48Speaker 06

  Working out we need more biscuits. So we've got this, um, a packet of Ready Salted Crisps.

• 14:53Ant McPartlin?

  Can you throw them over? Can I? I'd like to inspect them before.

• 14:55Speaker 06

  No, I wouldn't, no.

• 14:57Ant McPartlin?

  I'm not gonna open them. If I open them, now I've gotta buy them.

• 15:00Speaker 06

  Oh, I'm sorry.

• 15:01Ant McPartlin?

  Now they're ruined. Now they're crushed crisps. I get them. I get them. You stay here, though. I don't give a fuck. I'll get out my chair, even though you were just stood there.

• 15:10Declan Donnelly?

  They didn't fly very well, considering they're plain crisps.

• 15:13Ant McPartlin?

  Right. Um, I can tell you now, I don't want them.

• 15:17Speaker 06

  I've won bananas.

• 15:18Ant McPartlin?

  I've never wanted Ready Salted Crisps in me life.

• 15:20Declan Donnelly?

  Ever.

• 15:21Ant McPartlin?

  I'm certainly not gonna spend my hard-earned bananas on them. Next.

• 15:25Declan Donnelly?

  I think Ready Salted are a waste of a crisp.

• 15:27Ant McPartlin?

  They are.

• 15:28Speaker 06

  Um, this Etch A Sketch.

• 15:31Ant McPartlin?

  Tell me more.

• 15:32Speaker 06

  That's quite a few bananas.

• 15:34Ant McPartlin?

  Hand it over, hand it over. Hand it over. Why, why they would like that?

• 15:39Declan Donnelly?

  I love an Etch A Sketch.

• 15:42Ant McPartlin?

  I love an Etch.

• 15:42Speaker 06

  I thought Depp might like it as well.

• 15:44Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 15:44Speaker 06

  I thought Depp might like it as well.

• 15:45Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I do like it.

• 15:47Speaker 06

  We've got, uh, some coffee machine cleaning tablets.

• 15:51Ant McPartlin?

  But there, there's only like one in there.

• 15:53Speaker 06

  There's two.

• 15:54Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, wow. What did it start with?

• 15:58Speaker 06

  Um, ha- some hand cream. Might have been used.

• 16:01Ant McPartlin?

  Might, what do you mean might have been? You either know it's been used, that's been used. You can feel how light it is when you hold it up. Working hands. You've never worked a day in your life, you three.

• 16:10Speaker 06

  Uh, a space bubble gun.

• 16:14Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that's good.

• 16:15Speaker 06

  Uh.

• 16:16Ant McPartlin?

  I've actually got that. I've got that.

• 16:18Speaker 06

  And lastly, um, this biscuit tin that winds up and sings with some ginger biscuits, but I have eaten a few of them.

• 16:27Declan Donnelly?

  Eaten a few of the biscuits.

• 16:28Ant McPartlin?

  When did you eat the biscuits?

• 16:30Speaker 06

  Christmas.

• 16:31Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, they'll be gone now.

• 16:32Speaker 06

  Well, you can try.

• 16:33Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, this, uh, did you put a clip on them?

• 16:35Speaker 06

  You can have a look.

• 16:36Ant McPartlin?

  No, she did not. No, look how loose they are.

• 16:40Declan Donnelly?

  They're loose, they're open. What's the matter with you?

• 16:42Ant McPartlin?

  I'm gonna try before I buy.

• 16:45Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, good, my God. What on?

• 16:46Declan Donnelly?

  Surprisingly crunchy. They sounded crunchy. Well, they're good.

• 16:50Ant McPartlin?

  They are good. Well.

• 16:52Speaker 06

  Do you want anything from our shop?

• 16:53Ant McPartlin?

  Um, do I want anything from your shop? The only thing I'd be quite interested in is this Etch A Sketch. And how mu- how much do you say that was?

• 17:01Speaker 06

  About seven. So, yeah, six, six bananas.

• 17:05Ant McPartlin?

  You said six earlier and then you went, you thought I didn't hear, you were about to say seven. So for that, I'm out. Because I don't trust the seller here.

• 17:14Speaker 06

  We've also got, um, the McLaren Golf Clubs.

• 17:18Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 17:18Speaker 06

  But they cost 520 bananas, which is 10 years.

• 17:27Declan Donnelly?

  10 years bending ban.

• 17:28Ant McPartlin?

  Guys.

• 17:29Declan Donnelly?

  To splurge all your bananas on the golf clubs.

• 17:31Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I appreciate the corner shop and, uh, we should do this again because I really do enjoy this. I mean, I want none of this tap.

• 17:39Speaker 06

  Really?

• 17:40Ant McPartlin?

  Because it's not a McLaren Golf set, but, but that, that's close. That was, I was close to buying this, so small along these lines, if you don't mind.

• 17:48Declan Donnelly?

  So we did our World Cup sweepstake a week or two ago. How are we getting on? Who's still in the running and who's out?

• 17:54Speaker 06

  A lot of people, so we've lost, um, David Attenborough.

• 17:57Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 17:57Declan Donnelly?

  That's careless.

• 17:58Ant McPartlin?

  That, that, what a shame.

• 17:59Speaker 06

  Yeah, um, KSI is fully out.

• 18:02Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 18:03Speaker 06

  Dex Beard is fully out.

• 18:04Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, well, it's never has been, has it? Dex Beard has never been fully out in its life.

• 18:10Speaker 06

  But Ant is fully in there.

• 18:11Ant McPartlin?

  Am I?

• 18:12Speaker 06

  Yeah, you're still fully in there.

• 18:14Ant McPartlin?

  Who did I have? I had Dr Congo.

• 18:16Speaker 06

  And Ecuador.

• 18:17Declan Donnelly?

  Ecuador.

• 18:17Ant McPartlin?

  Ecuador!

• 18:19Declan Donnelly?

  You see, you got a good draw.

• 18:20Ant McPartlin?

  I did.

• 18:20Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know what you were moaning about.

• 18:21Ant McPartlin?

  I was complaining about your match fixing as well.

• 18:23Declan Donnelly?

  I did not match fix.

• 18:24Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, you did.

• 18:25Declan Donnelly?

  Uh, let's get these off and we'll get on with the rest of the show.

• 18:27Ant McPartlin?

  We have to, we're not allowed to have them too long. Guess the rules.

• 18:32Declan Donnelly?

  This next bit is sponsored by Santander, who understand managing money can sometimes be overwhelming and building small, everyday habits can make it feel more manageable.

• 18:44Ant McPartlin?

  What you doing here?

• 18:44Declan Donnelly?

  I am going through my accounts, trying to work out what I've got as like a standing order, a direct debit, what subscriptions I've got.

• 18:52Ant McPartlin?

  Ah.

• 18:53Declan Donnelly?

  It's just, I've, I've got a lot of stuff that you just subscribe to and you start with, and then you just leave them there and they.

• 18:59Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you do.

• 18:59Declan Donnelly?

  You've gone out of your account every month.

• 19:01Ant McPartlin?

  Well, let me have a look, like the gym.

• 19:03Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 19:04Ant McPartlin?

  Do you still go?

• 19:06Declan Donnelly?

  Every now and again.

• 19:07Ant McPartlin?

  When, when was the last time you went?

• 19:08Declan Donnelly?

  Um.

• 19:10Ant McPartlin?

  Last year?

• 19:11Declan Donnelly?

  March.

• 19:12Ant McPartlin?

  March. Do you need that?

• 19:14Declan Donnelly?

  They've got a good vending machine there.

• 19:18Ant McPartlin?

  Do you need that for now?

• 19:19Declan Donnelly?

  No, I don't.

• 19:20Ant McPartlin?

  Pause that for now?

• 19:20Declan Donnelly?

  No, I don't need it anymore.

• 19:22Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, well, get rid of it. Get rid of that one.

• 19:23Declan Donnelly?

  I'll get rid of that.

• 19:24Ant McPartlin?

  Just do that one. And then you can come back to it again.

• 19:27Declan Donnelly?

  Right, okay.

• 19:27Ant McPartlin?

  So you don't have to, like, weigh up the pros and cons of everything on there.

• 19:31Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 19:31Ant McPartlin?

  Because if you did that, you'd be there all day. You just need to start with one thing. Be intentional. Don't let it wash over you.

• 19:37Declan Donnelly?

  And do it in a little bite-sized chunk.

• 19:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 19:39Declan Donnelly?

  And actually, it'd be quite good to do this, like, every six months?

• 19:42Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 19:43Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe, just to check what you have subscribed to, what you have got. Do you still need them? Do you still use them? Or have you just forgotten about them and you're still paying for them?

• 19:50Ant McPartlin?

  Like me and that piano app that I've got on my phone. Where you can play the piano on.

• 19:55Declan Donnelly?

  How's that going?

• 19:56Ant McPartlin?

  I've never used it.

• 19:57Declan Donnelly?

  Have you not?

• 19:58Ant McPartlin?

  Nope, but I've paid for it for two years. And I never used it. Easily done, but easily got rid of. And that's what Santander are all about. Helping you take charge of your money and encouraging you to build good savings habits.

• 20:11Declan Donnelly?

  Absolutely, and guess what? If you've got a Santander current account, you'd be eligible for Santander's Regular Saver.

• 20:17Ant McPartlin?

  It pays 8% variable interest, which includes a 5% variable bonus for the first 12 months.

• 20:22Declan Donnelly?

  You can pay in up to £200 a month to help you build good savings habits for something that's important to you. Just visit santander.co.uk or search Santander Regular Saver.

• 20:34Ant McPartlin?

  Santander, it starts here. Now, hecklers caller for the Ts and Cs, please.

• 20:41Speaker 06

  Interest rate is correct at the time of recording. 8% AER slash gross variable interest rate, which includes 5% AER slash gross variable bonus rate for the first 12 months. Save up to £200 per month from your Santander current account to be eligible. Product is subject to availability. Availability. Ts and Cs apply.

• 20:57Declan Donnelly?

  Did you say availabitty?

• 21:00Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you did.

• 21:00Declan Donnelly?

  I think you said titty on the podcast.

• 21:02Ant McPartlin?

  That's not allowed.

• 21:03Declan Donnelly?

  That's not allowed.

• 21:04Ant McPartlin?

  Or you wouldn't say that.

• 21:04Declan Donnelly?

  We'll have to bleep that.

• 21:08Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 21:08Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 21:09Ant McPartlin?

  Hold on.

• 21:09Declan Donnelly?

  We never ha- that never happens. You'd better pick that up. You unstruck. If it's for me, I'm not here.

• 21:17Speaker 07

  Well, this is a blast from the past. Hi guys, hi Mr. McPartlin. Hello, Senor Donnelly. This is Matthew Pateman, former lead singer with Bad Boys Inc. We used to have a lot of giggles on the road, always seeing you out and about in clubs, doing lots of TVs with Jenny Powell and Nobby the Sheep when we were in Newcastle Way A, man. I am now, weirdly not doing anything with Bad Boys Inc., we still speak, but I am lead singer with Let Loose. I mean, what's all that about?

• 21:48Declan Donnelly?

  No. Crazy, crazy for you.

• 21:52Speaker 07

  Anyway, it's lovely hearing all your stories and your podcast is amazing, as are you, and I'm so glad that you're having amazing success, still at the age of 304, wherever you are now. Anyway, lots of love to you both and keep up the good work and I hope to see you soon. All right, guys. Take care. Bye.

• 22:08Declan Donnelly?

  Ah, that's so nice. How funny is that?

• 22:12Ant McPartlin?

  How weird is that? Thanks for getting in touch. That was nice to hear your voice again.

• 22:16Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, so the fact he was in Bad Boys Inc. and we were always touring together, doing road shows and nightclubs and all sorts of things. And we were with the same management as Let Loose.

• 22:26Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 22:27Declan Donnelly?

  And now he is not in Bad Boys Inc. and he is in Let Loose. That is so mad.

• 22:30Ant McPartlin?

  So what's happened to the lead singer of Let Loose, the original lead singer?

• 22:33Declan Donnelly?

  Richie? Yeah. He's now in Bad Boys Inc.

• 22:35Ant McPartlin?

  What? Band swap. Is that what it is?

• 22:39Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 22:39Ant McPartlin?

  It's like wife swap, but band swap.

• 22:41Declan Donnelly?

  How mad. Thank you for that message. That's brought back a lot of memories.

• 22:45Ant McPartlin?

  Oh my god, we've done loads of road shows with Bad Boys Inc., didn't we?

• 22:47Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, loads. How lovely. Thanks, man.

• 22:51Ant McPartlin?

  Very nice. So you'd always get to like a road show or some kind of arena gig, like a magazine road show, and you'd be thrilled if you were topping the bill, wouldn't you? You'd get there and then you'd find out what the bill was. And if you were last to go on, you knew you'd made it. Bad Boys Inc. were last to go on a lot of times.

• 23:09Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 23:10Ant McPartlin?

  But then...

• 23:10Declan Donnelly?

  We'd turn up, we'd go, "Oh, Bad Boys Inc. are here."

• 23:13Ant McPartlin?

  They're gonna be top of the bill, they're gonna be last on. But I tell you what, guys, as soon as let's get ready to rumble here, boom! We were top of the bill. Not for long, because that success didn't last that long. But for a period of like six months, boom! We were top of the bill.

• 23:30Declan Donnelly?

  Until our next single, "If I Give You My Number" came out.

• 23:34Declan Donnelly?

  Then we went, slipped down, back down the bill a bit.

• 23:35Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we did.

• 23:36Declan Donnelly?

  Until Eternal Love, then?

• 23:38Ant McPartlin?

  Boom! Back to the top of the bill again. Then, after that, the tricky second album came out and we were not top of the bill anymore.

• 23:48Speaker 06

  Okay, are you ready for a quiz? Dex's diary's quiz?

• 23:51Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 23:52Speaker 06

  Okay, you'll be against each other.

• 23:53Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 23:53Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 23:54Speaker 06

  Ready?

• 23:54Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 23:55Speaker 06

  Question one: who did Dex say "respect guys" to in the first ever episode of the diary?

• 24:05Declan Donnelly?

  Bing bong, that's my buzzer. It was, I don't think I put the full name in of who it was. It was General Something. That's what I said in the diary, I think.

• 24:16Speaker 06

  Here's the clip.

• 24:17Declan Donnelly?

  "The crowd were great and why me went down well. Bad Boys Inc were there too. And two guys called General Something were there. Top blokes, respect guys."

• 24:27Ant McPartlin?

  Respect guys? Oh my god!

• 24:31Declan Donnelly?

  One point to me.

• 24:32Ant McPartlin?

  Hold on, am I just answering questions about his diary, which he wrote?

• 24:37Declan Donnelly?

  You listened to it?

• 24:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but you wrote it initially and you then listened to it when-

• 24:42Declan Donnelly?

  Thirty-two years ago?

• 24:43Ant McPartlin?

  So it's a matter of you still wrote it? Come on.

• 24:47Speaker 06

  Okay, what type of travel lodge did you stay in?

• 24:50Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, me and Premier Inn.

• 24:54Declan Donnelly?

  We're now in this hotel in Bristol, the Forte Travel Lodge.

• 24:57Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, it's a Forte, of course, of course. Premier Inn's a different brand, what was I thinking? That's the Lenny Henry one.

• 25:04Speaker 06

  How does Dex describe the people of Yate?

• 25:11Declan Donnelly?

  Dex, I think, um, they, I described them as they were, they behaved like, they sat back and said, "Impress us." "After we finished, we went straight off to Yate in Avon. The people there are very strange."

• 25:29Ant McPartlin?

  Very strange.

• 25:31Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, very strange.

• 25:33Speaker 06

  At the ritzy in Northampton, there are some things in the dressing room that excite Dex. Can you remember what these things were?

• 25:40Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, and girls.

• 25:43Declan Donnelly?

  We had a dressing room, chilled drinks.

• 25:48Ant McPartlin?

  You did it right, chilled drinks.

• 25:49Declan Donnelly?

  And really big security guards.

• 25:55Ant McPartlin?

  No girls.

• 25:56Declan Donnelly?

  I was more excited by the big security guards.

• 25:58Speaker 06

  Okay, I've got a clip to play to you and there's a question after it.

• 26:02Declan Donnelly?

  The girls got really excited and one girl got hurt, bless her.

• 26:10Speaker 06

  What happened to that girl and an extra point if you can remember her name?

• 26:14Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, her, well, we know because the car reversed over her foot. And, and she, she wrote into the pod to tell us about it. So she, she ended up in A and E. Um, so the car went over her foot and broke her foot, broke her ankle.

• 26:27Declan Donnelly?

  Was she called Melanie?

• 26:28Ant McPartlin?

  It was Dawn, wasn't it?

• 26:29Declan Donnelly?

  It was Dawn, that's right, it was Dawn.

• 26:30Ant McPartlin?

  Dawn. I recently listened to your podcast where you spoke about Russ the bus and your manager parking the car on a girl's foot. Well, I am that girl.

• 26:41Declan Donnelly?

  No way!

• 26:42Ant McPartlin?

  Dawn is the girl.

• 26:45Speaker 06

  Very well remembered.

• 26:46Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, Dawn. How could you, how could you forget Dawn?

• 26:49Ant McPartlin?

  Still got pins in that foot.

• 26:52Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 26:53Declan Donnelly?

  Still can't go through the airport, no beeping.

• 26:57Speaker 06

  What item is Deck obsessed with but can never find?

• 27:00Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, a hairdryer.

• 27:02Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, good. No hairdryer. I really need one.

• 27:08Declan Donnelly?

  Another forte.

• 27:09Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 27:10Declan Donnelly?

  Guess what?

• 27:10Ant McPartlin?

  Comfortable.

• 27:11Declan Donnelly?

  Yep. No hairdryer.

• 27:15Declan Donnelly?

  Perhaps there will be one at the photo shoot tomorrow.

• 27:18Ant McPartlin?

  Photo shoot?

• 27:19Speaker 06

  Can you remember what that photo shoot was for?

• 27:23Declan Donnelly?

  Deck was a TV hit, left Northampton 11.30 for a photo session with the Daily Star.

• 27:31Ant McPartlin?

  What? The Daily Star?

• 27:35Declan Donnelly?

  Back in the days when the Daily Star still did photo shoots that were men with clothes on.

• 27:40Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah.

• 27:40Declan Donnelly?

  As opposed to women with them off.

• 27:42Speaker 06

  On day four, you go for an extracurricular activity. What is that activity?

• 27:46Ant McPartlin?

  Ant, we got ballin' and Dec wins every game.

• 27:49Declan Donnelly?

  Dec, I think we went to a, didn't we go to a wildfowl park? And then a trip to the wildfowl park.

• 27:59Ant McPartlin?

  Why?

• 28:00Declan Donnelly?

  I can hardly wait.

• 28:02Ant McPartlin?

  Isn't it a weird word, wildfowl?

• 28:04Declan Donnelly?

  Wildfowl.

• 28:05Ant McPartlin?

  Isn't it though? Wildfowl park.

• 28:08Declan Donnelly?

  Just gonna look at some foul. Are they tame? No, they're wild.

• 28:11Ant McPartlin?

  They're wild. They're furious.

• 28:13Speaker 06

  What outrageous things happened to you at Marilyn's nightclub in Hereford?

• 28:18Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, Willie's touched the lot.

• 28:21Declan Donnelly?

  The whack. Willie's and Arse's the whack. They screamed their heads off and nearly pulled our pants down.

• 28:27Ant McPartlin?

  Did they?

• 28:28Declan Donnelly?

  The security was rubbish again. I had my hair yanked.

• 28:36Declan Donnelly?

  And Ant nearly had his hat swiped.

• 28:39Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, that wasn't Willie's and Arse's the whack.

• 28:42Speaker 06

  It wasn't Willie's and Arse's the whack. You went through a lot on this tour.

• 28:45Ant McPartlin?

  We did go through a lot.

• 28:46Declan Donnelly?

  They did.

• 28:46Ant McPartlin?

  Got bruises to your shirt.

• 28:48Speaker 06

  How much did the private jet cost to Edinburgh?

• 28:50Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, Ant, £5,000.

• 28:52Declan Donnelly?

  £3,000. And got a private A seat on the jet to Scotland.

• 28:56Ant McPartlin?

  Can you believe that? A life of a pop star, eh?

• 28:58Declan Donnelly?

  It cost Telstar Records £3,000.

• 29:03Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but if you adjusted for inflation, which I did do in my head, £5,000, so a point each.

• 29:10Speaker 06

  You're both level, by the way, and I think you've got one left.

• 29:14Speaker 06

  Here we go. What causes Dec to scream the word "bastards"?

• 29:20Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, Ant, oh, Ant, the Just 17 review of Why Me?

• 29:25Declan Donnelly?

  It was a pretty good night until we read the review of Why Me in Just 17 magazine. Bastards!

• 29:36Declan Donnelly?

  I still would love to read that review.

• 29:39Ant McPartlin?

  Anybody got the review, send it in.

• 29:41Declan Donnelly?

  Anybody's got the April edition of Just Seventeen from 1994? Send it in.

• 29:48Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, time is ticking. I, I need to find some new tattoos.

• 29:51Declan Donnelly?

  Tea day is approaching.

• 29:52Ant McPartlin?

  Tea day, is that what you call it? Tea day?

• 29:54Declan Donnelly?

  Tattoo day. Shall I, shall I get the body out?

• 29:56Ant McPartlin?

  Please do.

• 29:58Declan Donnelly?

  Get the old body out.

• 29:59Ant McPartlin?

  My wife sent it this morning while I was going to work. She, uh, she goes, what are you talking about, the podcast? I said, well, it's the diary special, so it's gonna be a good one. Uh, I said, we, uh, we need to talk about tattoos. And she went, oh yeah, I'll have a say in this, won't I? I said, well, not unless you send the tattoo idea into the podcast you want, but, but she makes a fair point. She said, she's the one who will see it the most because I'm naked in front of her.

• 30:23Declan Donnelly?

  Whoa.

• 30:24Ant McPartlin?

  More than I am you.

• 30:25Declan Donnelly?

  Whoa, whoa.

• 30:26Ant McPartlin?

  And we also kiss because we love kissing and deal with it. It's what adults do.

• 30:31Declan Donnelly?

  Put your wooden spoon away.

• 30:32Ant McPartlin?

  Um, but she's like, so because of that fact, she goes, I think you should show me some of them. But I said, there's not many I'd bring home at the moment, so I'm hoping they get better today. And then I could take some shots and, and go back. So hit me.

• 30:50Declan Donnelly?

  Hi, Ant and Dec.

• 30:51Ant McPartlin?

  Hi.

• 30:52Declan Donnelly?

  Rosie here.

• 30:53Ant McPartlin?

  Rosie.

• 30:53Declan Donnelly?

  My idea for a tattoo is, is to represent your friendship and long partnership. Here's a rough sketch as an idea.

• 31:05Declan Donnelly?

  It is a tattoo of Dec's head.

• 31:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, laughing.

• 31:08Declan Donnelly?

  Uh, he's laughing because you are funny and always smiling.

• 31:11Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, I like, I like that line, Rosie.

• 31:14Declan Donnelly?

  You may want a different sketch that is better though, from Rosie. Rosie, I would like a different sketch of me laughing.

• 31:20Ant McPartlin?

  Rosie, it's the most unflattering photo of Dec ever. And so therefore the sketch is even worse. Seeing yourself in just black lines is not, that's not flattering.

• 31:32Declan Donnelly?

  That's not flattering.

• 31:32Ant McPartlin?

  For your sake, it's a no.

• 31:34Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 31:34Ant McPartlin?

  Sorry, Rosie.

• 31:35Declan Donnelly?

  Lovely idea, Rosie. Could have just made me look a bit nicer. Thanks, thanks for the thought. It was a lovely thought. What terrible execution.

• 31:45Ant McPartlin?

  I know. I'll draw all of your chins with a black pen. Thanks, Rosie.

• 31:50Declan Donnelly?

  Hi, Ant Dec and the Hecklers.

• 31:51Ant McPartlin?

  Hi. Hi.

• 31:52Declan Donnelly?

  Hey. I did GCSE art in school and now only really draw or paint when I'm stressed.

• 31:58Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 31:59Declan Donnelly?

  Work has been stressful for me as late.

• 32:01Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, good.

• 32:01Declan Donnelly?

  So this is the perfect time.

• 32:02Ant McPartlin?

  Good.

• 32:03Declan Donnelly?

  Good.

• 32:04Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, good.

• 32:04Declan Donnelly?

  That's good for us.

• 32:05Ant McPartlin?

  Gonna get a good tattoo then.

• 32:06Declan Donnelly?

  So it's a perfect time for me to pick up my pencils.

• 32:08Ant McPartlin?

  Good.

• 32:09Declan Donnelly?

  So here's my thinking. Aunt loves bananas, right?

• 32:11Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 32:12Declan Donnelly?

  Banana seems basic. So I was doing some research and it turns out banana trees actually have a lot of significance.

• 32:18Ant McPartlin?

  Do they?

• 32:19Declan Donnelly?

  Abundance and prosperity in many cultures, particularly in tropical regions where the plant is native. The abundant fruit represents wealth, good luck and prosperity.

• 32:27Ant McPartlin?

  I like that.

• 32:28Declan Donnelly?

  Playfulness and whimsy because bananas are bright and fun.

• 32:30Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 32:30Declan Donnelly?

  A banana-themed tattoo can signify a lighthearted approach to life, humour and a laid-back, positive person.

• 32:35Ant McPartlin?

  I love all of this. This is the best preamble we've had so far.

• 32:37Declan Donnelly?

  I know this is not the best. At best, it is GCSE art level. So thanks for considering me. And that is from Kirsty. Kirsty, I think you are selling yourself short because I like it.

• 32:49Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that's good, Kirsty.

• 32:51Declan Donnelly?

  And up here on the screen, it's in colour.

• 32:54Ant McPartlin?

  That was really good.

• 32:55Declan Donnelly?

  I like it.

• 32:56Ant McPartlin?

  I like that too. I really like that.

• 33:01Ant McPartlin?

  And I love the fact it symbolises whimsy and playfulness. And abundance.

• 33:06Declan Donnelly?

  And prosperity.

• 33:07Ant McPartlin?

  And prosperity. It's really good. So just to describe it to you all, you've got the banana plant and you've got one leaf hanging with a bunch of bananas hanging down. Then in the background, you've got another island with the sun setting and I presume that's the sea.

• 33:21Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. I like it. And two little flowers at the front to represent me and Aunt. One of the flowers is slightly taller.

• 33:29Ant McPartlin?

  She says that. She doesn't see any of that. She doesn't see. The flowers aren't to represent you and me. They're just flowers. They're nice flowers.

• 33:37Declan Donnelly?

  One of the flowers is slightly taller than the other one. So I think I'm the red flower and you're the orange. The flowers are the wrong way around. The taller one should be on the left. But that is a representation of me.

• 33:49Ant McPartlin?

  Take that, if that's what you want. If you want to be a flower on my arm, then so be it. Like, that keeps you happy.

• 33:55Declan Donnelly?

  Yep.

• 33:55Ant McPartlin?

  That keeps Kirsty happy.

• 33:56Declan Donnelly?

  Yep.

• 33:56Ant McPartlin?

  That would keep my wife happy, I reckon.

• 33:58Declan Donnelly?

  Do you think?

• 33:58Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. How can you not like that?

• 34:00Declan Donnelly?

  Would you go full colour?

• 34:01Ant McPartlin?

  No, I don't think I would go full colour.

• 34:05Ant McPartlin?

  I like a black and white tattoo.

• 34:06Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 34:07Ant McPartlin?

  I could paint it in the bananas yellow.

• 34:10Declan Donnelly?

  Just have that as a little splash of colour.

• 34:11Ant McPartlin?

  That is doing well at the minute.

• 34:14Declan Donnelly?

  Where should we stick it?

• 34:15Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, stick it on.

• 34:16Declan Donnelly?

  When you want me to stick it?

• 34:17Ant McPartlin?

  Underneath the boomerang, please.

• 34:18Declan Donnelly?

  Underneath the boomerang, right there.

• 34:22Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, just there.

• 34:23Declan Donnelly?

  Love that.

• 34:24Ant McPartlin?

  That would be exactly where it would go.

• 34:25Declan Donnelly?

  Right, last one today.

• 34:26Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 34:27Declan Donnelly?

  Holly Luff.

• 34:28Ant McPartlin?

  We haven't got long.

• 34:29Declan Donnelly?

  So she's got a Polaroid of River Tine and Magpies and the Newcastle coordinates. Uh, then we've got, uh, a Newcastle Brown Hill star with an angel of the north inside of it.

• 34:41Ant McPartlin?

  That is good.

• 34:41Declan Donnelly?

  Quite like that.

• 34:42Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I like that as well, actually.

• 34:43Declan Donnelly?

  Home, down here on the bottom left, home is where the heart is. So, oh gosh, goodness me, that is a real.

• 34:49Ant McPartlin?

  That's a real heart.

• 34:50Declan Donnelly?

  Drawn of a heart, uh, underneath a house, um, and a black and white one. Not sure about that.

• 34:59Ant McPartlin?

  Good, you're not getting that in then.

• 35:01Declan Donnelly?

  And, uh, there's a, a blue star here, Newcastle blue star with two magpies. I like that.

• 35:07Ant McPartlin?

  We only part to meet again. It's a good, that's a good phrase, isn't it?

• 35:11Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 35:11Ant McPartlin?

  I really like the star with the angel of the north inside and I really like the Polaroid. I think the Polaroid's cool. I've never seen a Polaroid. Well, I've seen a Polaroid picture. Obviously, guys, before you jump in, you hate us.

• 35:27Ant McPartlin?

  Um, but I've never seen a tattoo Polaroid before.

• 35:30Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, that's fun.

• 35:31Ant McPartlin?

  That's really good.

• 35:32Declan Donnelly?

  Mmm. Do you like them?

• 35:34Ant McPartlin?

  They're getting better, aren't they?

• 35:36Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 35:36Ant McPartlin?

  They're getting better. I am thrilled.

• 35:39Declan Donnelly?

  Holly Luff, I think, is a tattoo artist because her handle is hollyluff.tattoo. So let's, let's just stick Holly.

• 35:46Ant McPartlin?

  Stick Holly on there.

• 35:46Declan Donnelly?

  On there.

• 35:47Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, Holly's made it, Kirsty's made it. That has made me very happy.

• 35:51Declan Donnelly?

  Unfortunately, Rosie.

• 35:52Ant McPartlin?

  Rosie.

• 35:54Declan Donnelly?

  It just wasn't quite.

• 36:01Ant McPartlin?

  I thought the dial would be my favourite part of this week's pod, but no. I'm gonna keep this.

• 36:08Ant McPartlin?

  It's gonna make me smile.

• 36:11Declan Donnelly?

  Thanks for all your tattoos. If you've got any last minute tattoos, T-Day is approaching.

• 36:15Ant McPartlin?

  It is. You need to get them in next week.

• 36:17Declan Donnelly?

  Get them in. Hanging out. Hanging out at beltabox.com. Get your last minute tattoos in. This is your last chance. Last call for tattoos. T-Day is almost here.

• 36:28Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, it's gone again.

• 36:30Declan Donnelly?

  My gosh, this is a busy show.

• 36:32Speaker 03

  Hi guys, Biff here from London. I'm really excited to hear the final 94 entry, the big finale day. I was just wondering, if you could read any celebrity's diary, whose would you read and why? They can be dead or alive. Thank you, bye.

• 36:47Declan Donnelly?

  She just threw that in. They can be dead or alive.

• 36:50Ant McPartlin?

  That is a really good question.

• 36:51Declan Donnelly?

  That's a great question.

• 36:51Ant McPartlin?

  Really good question. They could be dead or alive. John Lennon, I'd love to read some of his thoughts. I mean, obviously he wrote a lot of songs, so you kind of got a little insight into the man.

• 37:03Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 37:04Ant McPartlin?

  But I'd love to know what those, from his point of view, what those early years of the Beatles were like.

• 37:10Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, imagine that.

• 37:11Ant McPartlin?

  And the Hamburg days and all of that.

• 37:13Declan Donnelly?

  Imagine their life on the road.

• 37:14Ant McPartlin?

  It'll be wonderful, wouldn't it?

• 37:15Declan Donnelly?

  Respect, guys.

• 37:16Ant McPartlin?

  Respect Beatles.

• 37:17Declan Donnelly?

  That'll be amazing. Do you know who's I'd love to have a little glimpse into?

• 37:21Ant McPartlin?

  Mark McGahn.

• 37:23Declan Donnelly?

  I've read books. I've read books about him.

• 37:27Ant McPartlin?

  He hasn't read any books. He has not read one book about Mark McGahn. Go on.

• 37:33Declan Donnelly?

  Simon Cowell's.

• 37:34Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 37:35Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I've often wondered.

• 37:37Ant McPartlin?

  We're with him all the time.

• 37:38Declan Donnelly?

  I know, but I've often wondered what's going on in that head of his.

• 37:40Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. But you really wanna know?

• 37:42Declan Donnelly?

  Well, also, as well, there's a chance we might feature in it.

• 37:45Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah, there's a really good chance we'll feature in it, I think.

• 37:48Declan Donnelly?

  So I'd like to read what he said about you.

• 37:52Ant McPartlin?

  Dear diary, I'm to do for a maze of gaga.

• 37:57Ant McPartlin?

  I was late again. That's what it would be.

• 38:00Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, would actually, that's quite boring. It's just him talking about.

• 38:02Ant McPartlin?

  And my the Holland was boring today. Alicia was boring today. He goes into a little bit of zippy when you do him too long.

• 38:12Declan Donnelly?

  He does. He's a bit, he's a bit zippy, crossed with, crossed with Peter Dixon, the.

• 38:18Ant McPartlin?

  My first time I was boring today.

• 38:24Ant McPartlin?

  What are you talking about, wonderful today? Uh, that's, yeah, I mean, that's what we've. He's not gonna let any insight, say it.

• 38:31Declan Donnelly?

  Called everybody boring.

• 38:32Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, everyone's really boring. It really is. We said, well, we had, we had lunch with him once.

• 38:38Declan Donnelly?

  We had dinner with him once.

• 38:39Ant McPartlin?

  And we, uh, he said, I've learned, he says.

• 38:42Declan Donnelly?

  I've come to a decision, wasn't it?

• 38:43Ant McPartlin?

  I've come to a decision. He says, I've been doing Idol in the States. He'd obviously done Pop Idol here and he'd done, X Factor was still on at the time, it was huge. Britain's Got Talent was on, it was huge. He was like the height of his powers. And he went, I've come to a decision. I went, oh yeah? He says, I've decided, spending all this time away, that I don't want to do anything boring again. We're like, what? I don't like doing boring things.

• 39:11Declan Donnelly?

  I've just made the decision, you know.

• 39:14Ant McPartlin?

  I'm not doing boring, Jeffrey.

• 39:19Declan Donnelly?

  I just don't want to do anything boring anymore.

• 39:21Ant McPartlin?

  He did.

• 39:23Declan Donnelly?

  Well, like.

• 39:23Ant McPartlin?

  They kind of stopped us dead. It stopped us in our tracks. We're like, well, nobody wants to do anything boring.

• 39:29Declan Donnelly?

  Is that really, I'm just not gonna do it?

• 39:32Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, he said, I'm just gonna say no. I'm gonna say no to anything I find boring. And he did.

• 39:36Declan Donnelly?

  He did?

• 39:37Ant McPartlin?

  Turned up to work on time. He finds boring. That's why he doesn't do it. Why it's always late.

• 39:42Declan Donnelly?

  Now he finds being late boring. So he's on time, which is, which is a godsend for everybody. But yeah, so that's quite interesting. Yeah, I don't know if I actually want to read his diary now.

• 39:51Ant McPartlin?

  Nah, I've done it. I've done it.

• 39:54Declan Donnelly?

  I think it would be quite boring.

• 39:58Ant McPartlin?

  This next bit is an advert for Gemini, Google's AI app.

• 40:02Declan Donnelly?

  And.

• 40:02Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 40:03Declan Donnelly?

  Are you ready for a fantastic summer of playing golf?

• 40:10Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, I am.

• 40:13Ant McPartlin?

  You like that? Do you like that? Yes, I am.

• 40:16Declan Donnelly?

  We're going on holiday soon, which I can't wait for.

• 40:18Ant McPartlin?

  And.

• 40:19Declan Donnelly?

  And we're gonna play lots of golf.

• 40:20Ant McPartlin?

  We are gonna play lots of golf. We see each other a lot over the summer and we play lots of golf. I wonder who the viewers think is better at golf, me or you?

• 40:28Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm, probably me.

• 40:30Ant McPartlin?

  Why would, why would you say that?

• 40:31Declan Donnelly?

  Lower centre of gravity.

• 40:32Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that doesn't work.

• 40:33Declan Donnelly?

  Shall we, um, see who has got the best swing at the moment?

• 40:37Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 40:37Declan Donnelly?

  We could use Google Gemini.

• 40:38Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 40:39Declan Donnelly?

  See who's got the best swing.

• 40:40Ant McPartlin?

  Go on, stand up there then. I'm gonna film you stand up, right? Okay, so, Gemini, can you rate Dex's golf swing out of bananas? Eight being the best, zero being the least?

• 40:57Declan Donnelly?

  What does Google Gemini say about that?

• 40:59Speaker 03

  Looking at Dex's swing, his form definitely needs some adjustments, so I'd give his swing two out of eight bananas.

• 41:05Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 41:06Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 41:06Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, do me, do me, do me. No second chances, no second chances. Well, you won't hold the golf club.

• 41:12Declan Donnelly?

  Well, that's one thing, isn't it?

• 41:13Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, come on, man. Bye.

• 41:19Ant McPartlin?

  Tell me when you're ready.

• 41:19Declan Donnelly?

  Ready. Gemini, rate Ant's swing out of bananas, eight being the best, zero being the worst.

• 41:27Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  Looking at Ant's swing, his rotation actually looks pretty good, so I'd give it three out of eight bananas.

• 41:35Ant McPartlin?

  Three bananas! I got three bananas, you got two bananas, ayo, ayo, ayo.

• 41:42Declan Donnelly?

  I mean, neither of us have covered ourselves in glory.

• 41:44Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, well, even Stevens, there's a point in it. Bit like golf yesterday.

• 41:49Declan Donnelly?

  That's so annoying.

• 41:50Ant McPartlin?

  Point for me today, a point for you yesterday. Can I speak to Gemini about some other things? What? Well, I want to maximize our time on the golf course.

• 42:00Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, that's a good idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:02Ant McPartlin?

  Hold on. Gemini, could you plan out a holiday in Portugal? We usually have about four hours to complete eighteen holes, and we want to stop for a snack.

• 42:12Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, around the house.

• 42:13Ant McPartlin?

  Twice. Twice, stay away, we get hungry.

• 42:15Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 42:16Ant McPartlin?

  And it's hot. Deck burns, so we don't want to be in the sun for too long. Can you plan our golfing day for us, please? Ah, Gemini says, to ensure you complete eighteen holes comfortably in four hours while protecting Deck from the intense Portuguese sun.

• 42:33Declan Donnelly?

  Thanks.

• 42:34Ant McPartlin?

  Timing and preparation are everything. The best strategy is to beat the heat by booking a twilight tea time.

• 42:41Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that's a nice idea.

• 42:42Ant McPartlin?

  Start at four, four thirty in Portugal. The sun stays up late during summer, and the temperatures begin to drop significantly by late afternoon.

• 42:49Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm.

• 42:50Ant McPartlin?

  This avoids dangerous eleven till three PM peak time.

• 42:53Declan Donnelly?

  Good idea.

• 42:55Ant McPartlin?

  Gemini has done a schedule. Shall I read it?

• 42:57Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 42:57Ant McPartlin?

  Okay. Three fifteen, sun prep. Decks to apply, factor fifty.

• 43:04Declan Donnelly?

  All right.

• 43:04Ant McPartlin?

  Twenty minutes to let it soak in. Pack a UV blocking golfing bra and a cooler bag with ice. Four o'clock, tee off. Rent a golf buggy. The can be provides instant shade.

• 43:16Declan Donnelly?

  Good idea.

• 43:16Ant McPartlin?

  And riding keeps your core temperature down.

• 43:19Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 43:19Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I didn't know that. Riding keeps your core temperature down.

• 43:22Declan Donnelly?

  Is that because you've got the wind in your face?

• 43:23Ant McPartlin?

  Hmm. Uh, ten to five, snack break one. This will be after hole six. Eat hydrating fruit such as watermelon or grapes and sip water with electrolytes. Gemini says five o'clock. Mid round, holes seven to twelve, shadows lengthen, offering natural shade.

• 43:43Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm.

• 43:43Ant McPartlin?

  Deck reapply so spray to ears, neck and arms in case of burning. Five fifty, ten to six to you. Snack break two. This will probably be after hole twelve. Eat an energy bar. Do you don't like energy bars?

• 44:00Declan Donnelly?

  Not really.

• 44:00Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, eat more fruit then. I'll have an en- I'll have your energy bar. You can have my fruit.

• 44:04Declan Donnelly?

  I'll have the fruit.

• 44:05Ant McPartlin?

  Cool and hack. Wrap ice cold damp towels around deck's head.

• 44:11Ant McPartlin?

  Neck.

• 44:11Declan Donnelly?

  That is not true. You've made that up.

• 44:12Ant McPartlin?

  I have it. No, look, look. Six o'clock golden hour. Take countless selfies of ants because he looks great in this light. I've added that bit. Finish the round as the temperature drops and a cool evening breeze sets in. Eight o'clock, nineteenth hole. Celebrate with cold drinks on a shaded clubhouse terrace.

• 44:33Declan Donnelly?

  Nah, it's more like it.

• 44:34Ant McPartlin?

  And we've got a little packing checklist. Fifty plus sunscreen and spray for deck.

• 44:38Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 44:40Ant McPartlin?

  UV blocking umbrella for deck. Cooler bag with ice water and electrolyte tablets for deck. Two small towels to keep on ice for deck and light snacks such as fruit for deck and energy bars and chocolate for.

• 44:51Declan Donnelly?

  Don't forget me armbands, will you?

• 44:53Ant McPartlin?

  There you go. Thanks, Gemini.

• 44:54Declan Donnelly?

  Thanks, Gemini. With Gemini, you can chat live with a truly helpful AI assistant. You can jump in, get some holiday tips, ask for more details or even show it what you're talking about by sharing your screen or camera as well. It's there for a real chat, not just a quick question and done.

• 45:12Ant McPartlin?

  Download the Gemini app today to unlock the power of Google AI on your phone.

• 45:17Declan Donnelly?

  Check your responses, setup required, compatibility and availability varies. Eighteen plus.

• 45:23Speaker 07

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorised by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 45:53Declan Donnelly?

  Um, we've had tons of letters this week.

• 45:55Ant McPartlin?

  Come on, get them out.

• 45:55Declan Donnelly?

  Shall we get the postbag?

• 45:56Ant McPartlin?

  Get them out, let's get rid of this.

• 45:57Declan Donnelly?

  I was also thinking, we used to have a theme tune on SMCB Live for the postbag. So we should have a new postbag theme tune here on the pod.

• 46:08Speaker 06

  Someone's actually got one in. I've been sniffing it. Yeah, I've got it.

• 46:11Ant McPartlin?

  Well, this is very...

• 46:13Declan Donnelly?

  Let's have the Eurovision Pod Contest. Let's have a...

• 46:16Speaker 06

  Are you ready?

• 46:17Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, let's go for it.

• 46:18Speaker 06

  Here you go. Let's get ready. Let's get ready. Let's get ready for the postbag. Postbag, postbag. Going through the lot. Postbag, postbag. Show us what we've got. What's inside? Let's take a look.

• 46:31Ant McPartlin?

  Read it out. From the book. Postbag time, come on. Hey! Let's go again today. Postbag, postbag, postbag today. Yeah! Yeah!

• 46:46Declan Donnelly?

  Bit long.

• 46:47Ant McPartlin?

  Bit long.

• 46:47Declan Donnelly?

  Bit long. Can we do a shorter one?

• 46:49Speaker 06

  I can cut it down.

• 46:50Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, let's do that.

• 46:51Ant McPartlin?

  Cut it down and that's off the tune.

• 46:52Declan Donnelly?

  Great.

• 46:53Ant McPartlin?

  And who's it from?

• 46:54Speaker 06

  I did not write their name down because I didn't know we were going to play it.

• 46:56Ant McPartlin?

  No problem. We'll name check.

• 46:58Speaker 06

  You'll find out next week.

• 46:59Ant McPartlin?

  We'll play it from now on, so he'll get name checked or she'll get name checked a lot of times.

• 47:03Declan Donnelly?

  But if you can do better...

• 47:05Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah, but we just want one theme tune.

• 47:07Declan Donnelly?

  Hanging out at beltabox.com.

• 47:08Ant McPartlin?

  We don't want loads of different theme tunes.

• 47:10Declan Donnelly?

  Don't just don't have to settle. Don't, don't settle for, uh...

• 47:13Ant McPartlin?

  Don't settle.

• 47:14Declan Donnelly?

  Don't settle for that.

• 47:15Ant McPartlin?

  Don't settle for the first theme tune that comes along.

• 47:17Declan Donnelly?

  Exactly. Let me get the postbag. Here we go. Lots of letters.

• 47:23Ant McPartlin?

  Come on.

• 47:26Ant McPartlin?

  I'm singing it. Okay.

• 47:34Ant McPartlin?

  Hi, Ant and Dec and Heckler's Corner. Hey. I have to mention one thing. I know Ant has ADHD. Why did you mention that? Why bring that up? And I do wonder, do you think Dec has as well? Because he has piles round the house. He's got a goldfish memory. His inability to see why people can't rhyme in Wonky Donkey. His strict aeroplane routine. I've spotted a few traits of ADHD in the way he presents. And we tend to spot others a mile off. Just something to think about. Gemma with a G.

• 48:15Ant McPartlin?

  I agree.

• 48:16Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 48:17Ant McPartlin?

  What do you mean, no?

• 48:18Declan Donnelly?

  Is that a thing?

• 48:19Ant McPartlin?

  It's one a thing. There's no... Is that what everything she's mentioned?

• 48:23Declan Donnelly?

  I'll be honest with you, I didn't hear the beginning of the letter. I was reading my letter.

• 48:26Ant McPartlin?

  You were distracted?

• 48:26Declan Donnelly?

  I was distracted.

• 48:27Ant McPartlin?

  So she reckons you've also got ADHD because you've got lots of traits. I'm not going to read the whole thing, you should have paid attention.

• 48:32Declan Donnelly?

  I did pay attention after that. How do I know then?

• 48:34Ant McPartlin?

  You get tested.

• 48:36Declan Donnelly?

  I can't be bothered with that.

• 48:38Ant McPartlin?

  Well, then you'll never know then.

• 48:39Declan Donnelly?

  Does it? Well...

• 48:41Ant McPartlin?

  It's this simple kind of question and answer.

• 48:44Declan Donnelly?

  Is it?

• 48:44Ant McPartlin?

  Form that you can go through.

• 48:46Declan Donnelly?

  Do you think I should do it?

• 48:47Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it live on the pod. Yay!

• 48:50Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, great!

• 48:50Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, call Ant and Dec, that's who. Let's diagnose you.

• 48:57Ant McPartlin?

  In the middle of my test, the doctor said to me...

• 49:00Declan Donnelly?

  So can you tell us what it's like to have an ADHD test? Sorry, am I talking over you?

• 49:04Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, exactly. It is...

• 49:08Declan Donnelly?

  What does it entail?

• 49:09Ant McPartlin?

  It's a lot of just questions and answers with the doctor. You can do one online, but the problem is if you do it online, you're not as thorough, I don't think, as when a professional is going through with you. And then there's a certain way they should ask you the questions, so you can't just... Cheat your way to having it.

• 49:26Declan Donnelly?

  Right, yeah.

• 49:27Ant McPartlin?

  Do you know what I mean? Um, so it's normally like a little booklet or like, uh, three sides of A4 paper. It's a checklist and if you have, if you show, cause there's certain forms of ADHD, not everyone has the same traits. You've got ADD with, uh, and ADHD, um, which even though I've got it, I find it hard to say. And halfway through my test, I was like, oh, that's a nice Rolex to the guy.

• 49:55Ant McPartlin?

  So I don't think I need the rest of the questions.

• 49:59Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh, shiny thing.

• 50:00Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, ooh, shiny, that's really nice. I wish we'd been on that.

• 50:04Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, anyway, yeah, it's, I think we should all do it if you feel like you've, cause I think for me, just knowing I had something was really helpful. Because one of my biggest traits was my impulsiveness. And not being able to stop myself from wanting to jump off a building or. Do you remember as a kid, when I told you, I threw myself out the window, the second floor window trying. I thought I would be able to land on and grab a branch of this tree and the tree would gently lower me to the ground, like in the Jungle Book. Of course, that didn't happen and I fell on my back and nearly really injured myself and.

• 50:39Declan Donnelly?

  You busted your elbow, didn't you? And that's where you got a score on your elbow.

• 50:41Ant McPartlin?

  No, that wasn't, that was, that was a different.

• 50:43Declan Donnelly?

  That was a different second floor window jump.

• 50:46Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that was it. Like just stupid, the inability to see ahead, to play the tape forward and to, you know, see things through and just do it. Which actually serves, serves people well, served me well in my job. In like working a live TV, cause you, cause I think that's probably why you do have a touch of it as well, is because you're very good at that. You know, having lots of different information at once. Apparently a lot of people who like, who have ADHD like to listen to two songs at once. Have you ever, have you ever taken that test?

• 51:16Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 51:16Ant McPartlin?

  There's a couple of things, you can find them online where they play two songs at once. And if you can hear them both at the same time and enjoy them both at the same time and they're not annoying, then you probably have something neurological.

• 51:28Declan Donnelly?

  Never heard that before.

• 51:29Ant McPartlin?

  We should try it. We'll, we'll do it on the, on the pod for you.

• 51:32Declan Donnelly?

  I've got a letter here.

• 51:33Ant McPartlin?

  Good letter, Gemma. And we all agree, we all agree, show of hands, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You've got ADHD. Well done. Welcome to the club.

• 51:41Declan Donnelly?

  Just been diagnosed. Hi, Ant Dec and Hecklers Corner.

• 51:45Ant McPartlin?

  Hi.

• 51:46Declan Donnelly?

  In Dex's diary the other week, you said how you were on What's Up Doc and Take That were on the other side on Live and Kicking in April 1994.

• 51:52Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, well, you're gonna call us a liar?

• 51:54Declan Donnelly?

  This unlocked a memory that at the time I was very proud of, but as an adult, I realised how much of a cringe-worthy square I was as a child. I was very anti-Take That as an 11-year-old, and when I was watching Live and Kicking, during an interview, Take That asked what they look for in a woman. Mark answered that he wanted a woman to have his babies and she could bugger off after that.

• 52:15Ant McPartlin?

  Did he?

• 52:16Declan Donnelly?

  Now was my chance. I could finally bring them down, ha ha!

• 52:21Ant McPartlin?

  So I had his babies.

• 52:24Declan Donnelly?

  And I stuck around, and now we've been together 30 years. In the Daily Mirror on a Saturday, there was a kids-only section called Megamirror, where you could write in to Canary Man. So I wrote in, of course, full of my own self-importance and armed with the knowledge that Mark Owen had sworn on live TV and children's TV at that. I did not expect what happened next. A reporter from the Mirror called my house, and two days later, there was a photographer at my house, ready for the next issue of Megamirror. I couldn't believe it. Me and my letter made the front page of Megamirror. I showed it to everyone who would give me the time of day. I think about it now, and it makes my skin want to crawl off my body. I obviously do not hate Take That. I'm sure they're all lovely people. I've attached a picture of the article. God bless the 90s. Stay sexy and nice, respect, guys.

• 53:08Declan Donnelly?

  From Natalie England, from Woodford in Essex. Let's have a look at Natalie. There she is, look. Heartthrobs Outburst Sparks Outrage in Fans.

• 53:18Ant McPartlin?

  Natalie, you should be embarrassed, because that was pure grass behaviour. Wasn't it, though? I'm gonna grass you up for saying something on the telly to the papers.

• 53:28Declan Donnelly?

  And there she is, in the picture.

• 53:30Ant McPartlin?

  Ripping up a photo!

• 53:31Declan Donnelly?

  Tearing a photo of Take That.

• 53:34Ant McPartlin?

  That's a very local newspaper thing to do. How can we get across that you don't like... I know, rip a photograph of them up. Yeah, that's very funny.

• 53:43Declan Donnelly?

  Natalie said the BBC and Mark should be ashamed of themselves.

• 53:46Ant McPartlin?

  But in a big box in the middle, but others have chosen to stand by their favourite men. Wow, brilliant. Well, well done. I mean, well done for getting them paper, you grass.

• 53:56Declan Donnelly?

  That is a very early example of like a Twitter storm, isn't it?

• 54:00Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it is. It is.

• 54:02Declan Donnelly?

  Very good.

• 54:03Ant McPartlin?

  Two people say something on Twitter and it's a Twitter storm.

• 54:05Declan Donnelly?

  Very good, Natalie. I love that. You're not the only one who looks back at the 90s and cringes just a little bit. So well done you.

• 54:14Ant McPartlin?

  No. Oh, oh, no more letters.

• 54:18Declan Donnelly?

  No more letters.

• 54:18Ant McPartlin?

  A phone call.

• 54:19Declan Donnelly?

  A lot of phone calls today.

• 54:22Ant McPartlin?

  I can't wait for Dex's diary.

• 54:29Declan Donnelly?

  How did you get this number?

• 54:30Ant McPartlin?

  Who's that?

• 54:31Speaker 06

  Just some school kids.

• 54:32Ant McPartlin?

  Just some school kids. They come with your diary.

• 54:36Declan Donnelly?

  How did you get this number? When are we doing the diary?

• 54:40Speaker 06

  We can do it now.

• 54:41Declan Donnelly?

  You ready?

• 54:42Speaker 06

  Well, we've got one last thing to just set the tone.

• 54:45Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 54:46Ant McPartlin?

  Dex's Diary, the grand finale. Michael. I love Michael's voice. Empires have risen and fallen. Civilizations have crumbled into dust. Yet somehow, against all odds, Dex's Diary endured. What began as a simple journey between friends became something far greater. A tale of courage, endurance, and one iconic bum cut. Across the scenic landscapes of Scunthorpe, through the windswept majesty of Newcastle, and into the untamed wilderness of Port's Mouth, two brave explorers, PJ and Duncan, ventured where few men dared to go.

• 55:33Ant McPartlin?

  Marilyn's nightclub. What did they find, you say? Stages, stardom, but never a hairdryer in sight. How he survived those dark hours without one remains a mystery to modern science. Alas, they continued their quest from city to city, town to town, where the girls all went wild. There were moments where arses were grabbed. There were moments where willies were grabbed. Even a brush with theft, Ant's hat, a national treasure, a cultural landmark, very nearly swiped. Yet, all of this was merely the beginning.

• 56:15Ant McPartlin?

  The boys crossed the vast frontiers of the UK in search of answers. Today, they get them.

• 56:27Ant McPartlin?

  It all comes down to this. One final adventure, one final chapter. Will PJ and Duncan's friendship survive? Will they ever appear on TV again? Will they ever get to make a podcast? Fasten your seatbelts, hide your hats and protect your willies. And for heaven's sake, can someone get Deck a hairdryer? There is only one way to find out what happened. This is the spectacular, the unbelievable, final installment of Dex's Diary.

• 57:13Speaker 07

  Oh, Michael Sheen, you are a legend. Thank you so much. That is, that is the perfect, um, run-up. The perfect prelude to what I'm sure will be a fitting, fitting finale.

• 57:33Ant McPartlin?

  We'll be the judge of that. As Michael said, there's a lot of questions unanswered. And I hope that this will tie it all up in a nice little bow and answer all those questions. Even pop a little cherry on the top.

• 57:46Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 57:49Ant McPartlin?

  Good luck, Dex.

• 57:50Declan Donnelly?

  I'll guess, I'll just whip it out.

• 57:54Ant McPartlin?

  Thanks, Michael, for doing that, by the way. That was brilliant.

• 57:56Declan Donnelly?

  It was amazing.

• 57:57Ant McPartlin?

  Can we just cut that up and use that for other bits of the pod? Yeah, especially the bit where he talks about willies.

• 58:04Speaker 06

  Protect your willies.

• 58:04Ant McPartlin?

  Protect your willies. Yeah, just use that. Yeah, it's good. Safe sex. Protect your willies, boys.

• 58:10Declan Donnelly?

  So the very, the very fact that this is the last diary excerpt.

• 58:18Ant McPartlin?

  I know, we're all very excited about it. That's why they're all wearing wigs. That's why I'm wearing this. That's why Michael's done that. That's why I've had voice notes.

• 58:25Declan Donnelly?

  I think I'd started to lose interest in keeping a diary.

• 58:28Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, what?

• 58:30Declan Donnelly?

  But this is the last instalment. It is day 24 of Life on the Road.

• 58:35Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 58:36Declan Donnelly?

  It is the 20th of April, 1994. What a day.

• 58:42Ant McPartlin?

  I see. It started well. It started well.

• 58:46Declan Donnelly?

  It's moving day. We are moving out of our manager's current house and into the new place. Fortunately, we were able to get out of the way by having a photo shoot for Smash Hits.

• 59:02Ant McPartlin?

  That's good. That's, that's up. That's a step up from the Daily Star.

• 59:08Declan Donnelly?

  Which is where we started.

• 59:09Ant McPartlin?

  For pop bands, it is.

• 59:10Declan Donnelly?

  Which is where we started. It went really, really well.

• 59:15Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, did it? See, it's good.

• 59:18Declan Donnelly?

  The photographer, Simon, was excellent.

• 59:21Ant McPartlin?

  Was he?

• 59:22Declan Donnelly?

  Not that I'd encountered that many photographers at this point in my life.

• 59:25Ant McPartlin?

  I wonder why you thought he was excellent?

• 59:26Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know. He was excellent.

• 59:28Ant McPartlin?

  Simon what?

• 59:30Declan Donnelly?

  Don't know.

• 59:30Ant McPartlin?

  Okay. Another question left unanswered.

• 59:34Declan Donnelly?

  Did a few pieces for the magazine. Scruples.

• 59:38Ant McPartlin?

  Hmm.

• 59:39Declan Donnelly?

  And Mr. and Mr..

• 59:42Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, my God, we play that all the time now.

• 59:44Declan Donnelly?

  All the time.

• 59:45Ant McPartlin?

  Not out of choice, just people think, people think it's something we've never done before, so they get us to do it. Still now.

• 59:51Declan Donnelly?

  To see how well we knew each other.

• 59:53Ant McPartlin?

  That would have been the first time we played that.

• 59:54Declan Donnelly?

  One of the first times.

• 59:55Ant McPartlin?

  The origin. Story.

• 59:57Declan Donnelly?

  I think I won that one.

• 1:00:00Ant McPartlin?

  You can't, what do you mean, you think you won it?

• 1:00:01Declan Donnelly?

  I won it.

• 1:00:02Ant McPartlin?

  You wrote that in your diary?

• 1:00:03Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:03Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, what a competitive. I think, why would you put that in there?

• 1:00:07Declan Donnelly?

  Because I won it. I won Mr. and Mr. Like I won air hockey.

• 1:00:09Ant McPartlin?

  And like you won bowling?

• 1:00:11Declan Donnelly?

  And like I won bowling and air hockey.

• 1:00:13Ant McPartlin?

  Oh my god.

• 1:00:14Declan Donnelly?

  Touchy subject, as I said back in the diary. Anyway, back to Maidstone and out for, guess what?

• 1:00:22Ant McPartlin?

  A curry?

• 1:00:22Declan Donnelly?

  Yep, a curry. It was a pretty nice one, though. Back home to the new house and ready for the start of a new chapter. Into bed amongst the half unpacked cardboard boxes. I don't know which one has my hairdryer.

• 1:00:40Ant McPartlin?

  Yay!

• 1:00:43Declan Donnelly?

  Declan.

• 1:00:51Declan Donnelly?

  She's making a tear. Don't cry because it's over, just smile because it happened.

• 1:00:59Ant McPartlin?

  Well, how do you feel?

• 1:01:01Declan Donnelly?

  Like, like, like it is a bit of a closing of a chapter.

• 1:01:03Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:03Declan Donnelly?

  That's like, that was the last day. We'd moved into that new house, our manager's new house.

• 1:01:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I remember it.

• 1:01:08Declan Donnelly?

  We didn't, we didn't stay with her for that long.

• 1:01:10Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 1:01:10Declan Donnelly?

  But we moved into their new house, surrounded by cardboard boxes. It was the start of a new chapter.

• 1:01:17Declan Donnelly?

  And I kind of lost interest in keeping a diary. I wish I kept it.

• 1:01:20Ant McPartlin?

  That's a shame because not long after that last diary entry, things started getting better.

• 1:01:26Declan Donnelly?

  And I think we must have got so busy then that I just, I don't know, I just.

• 1:01:29Ant McPartlin?

  Fell into bed.

• 1:01:30Declan Donnelly?

  Fell into bed, stopped doing the diary.

• 1:01:33Ant McPartlin?

  What a shame.

• 1:01:34Declan Donnelly?

  Um, and the rest is history.

• 1:01:37Ant McPartlin?

  Well, we're very pleased that you wrote what you did.

• 1:01:39Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I'm glad.

• 1:01:40Ant McPartlin?

  Lots of lols.

• 1:01:41Declan Donnelly?

  I'm glad you enjoyed it.

• 1:01:42Ant McPartlin?

  And lots of memories.

• 1:01:43Declan Donnelly?

  And we can now put it to bed, put it in a little time machine.

• 1:01:49Ant McPartlin?

  Bit underwhelming at the end, though, wasn't it?

• 1:01:50Declan Donnelly?

  I told you, I told you it was.

• 1:01:52Ant McPartlin?

  Wasn't it, really? What a shame. It's nice that the last word was hairdryer. Yeah, it's true. And that's coming from a bald man, so. That takes a lot for him to say that. That takes a lot.

• 1:02:04Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:05Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, so just take that.

• 1:02:07Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, but he does use it on the rest of his body.

• 1:02:11Ant McPartlin?

  He's very here suit.

• 1:02:14Declan Donnelly?

  Well, listen, thank you for enjoying the diary with us for the last five months.

• 1:02:20Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:21Declan Donnelly?

  I hope you've enjoyed it as much as we have. And thank you for sending all of your diaries and all of your experiences of the time that you met us during that period.

• 1:02:29Ant McPartlin?

  Still send them in.

• 1:02:30Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:30Ant McPartlin?

  Because we still enjoy them. So, you know, if you find a diary or if you remember a gig back in the day where we were there and you were there. So it's send any memories that you have because we do like reading them out on the pod.

• 1:02:42Declan Donnelly?

  Absolutely. Hanging out at ButlerBox.com. That's the end of him then. That's the end of Jack's diary.

• 1:02:48Ant McPartlin?

  That's the end of him.

• 1:02:49Declan Donnelly?

  Sorry it was an underwhelming ending.

• 1:02:51Ant McPartlin?

  You should be. You should be.

• 1:02:53Declan Donnelly?

  But in anticipation of this week, and this guy sat on his bed, I thought it might be quite nice to write a letter to my younger self to.

• 1:03:04Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 1:03:05Declan Donnelly?

  To write a letter to my younger self to thank him for the diary.

• 1:03:10Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 1:03:11Declan Donnelly?

  Shall I read it?

• 1:03:12Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 1:03:12Declan Donnelly?

  I wrote this this week. So you think of this.

• 1:03:17Declan Donnelly?

  Dear Declan, it's me stroke you from the future from 2026. Sounds exciting, right?

• 1:03:23Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:23Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I'm sad to report, we're not yet travelling around in hover cars or nor do we have robo servants or space colonies. But I wanted to write you this letter to tell you that I found and have just finished reading the diary you kept in March and April 1994 on yours and Anne's new podcast, which you can hear and watch on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and all other podcast providers and on Butler Box channel on YouTube.

• 1:03:47Declan Donnelly?

  I realise pretty much all of that information won't make any sense whatsoever, considering you haven't been introduced to the internet yet. You don't know what an email is and you haven't even started texting. That's coming later this year when you get your first Nokia 2110. But rest assured, it is a good thing. It's brought back a lot of memories from that time. Things I'd forgotten, to be honest, and it's reminded me how life felt for you back then. I remember it was exciting and exhilarating, yet daunting and bewildering. Thrilling and intoxicating, yet intense and exhausting. I know you think you and Ant have left to go on a bit of an adventure for a few weeks, but, and you don't realise it yet, you've both pretty much left home now and your lives will never return to how they have been.

• 1:04:27Ant McPartlin?

  Ohhh. But it turned out all right, guys.

• 1:04:33Declan Donnelly?

  I don't want to reveal too much of what happens next because you need to live the next adventure ahead and experience the highs and lows and the lessons they will teach you. Those lessons will make you the man you are today. However, I have a few words of advice to make the next part of your life and the ride that is ahead a bit more enjoyable. Grab every opportunity that comes your way and give it your all. I know this foundation has been laid by the wonderful people you've worked with on Biker Grove and rest assured, they've set you on the right path. Treasure the true friendships you make. Lots of people will come and go, but the real friendships last. Don't take them for granted, though. They must be nurtured. That's why, and I know this will be no spoiler, yours and Ant's friendship will endure through thick and thin.

• 1:05:16Declan Donnelly?

  And if you can believe it, it's even stronger in 2026 than it is there now.

• 1:05:21Ant McPartlin?

  Damn straight.

• 1:05:24Declan Donnelly?

  Stop and smell the flowers from time to time and don't pay so much attention to the weeds. Don't worry so much about things not being perfect or what's coming next and have those anxieties ruin the present. Enjoy what's coming your way and appreciate it. Get home as much as you can.

• 1:05:42Declan Donnelly?

  This might be a heartbeat.

• 1:05:43Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I'm a Batman.

• 1:05:48Declan Donnelly?

  Get home as much as you can. Your family have given you the best daughter in life. Your success is their success, so share it with them. You'll miss them and Newcastle more than you know, but they'll always be there for you. They're not all going to be there forever, though, so appreciate them all while you have them.

• 1:06:07Declan Donnelly?

  Don't get too high with the highs or too low with the lows. You'll have your fair share of both and it's too exhausting to constantly ride that rollercoaster. Finally, and most importantly, buy a flipping hairdryer. They're not that expensive. Splash out. What's the matter with you? But thank you for writing the diary. I wish you'd done more, but it's been a fantastic reminder of a special period in your life. Say hi to 1994 and for me. Tell him to remember he's a great kid and it'll all be okay. Oh. Even when it feels like it won't. Look out for each other, enjoy the ride and hey,

• 1:06:52Declan Donnelly?

  respect guys. Love from future Deck. P.S. Buy Tesla, Apple and loads of Bitcoin.

• 1:07:05Declan Donnelly?

  Well done.

• 1:07:12Declan Donnelly?

  I said I wasn't gonna cry. I think we were all crying. I thought it was just gonna be my hairdryer. And Finn Lassers, Willies and Arses. So that's it for this week's pod. It was, it was a rollercoaster of a show. Sure was. Really was. I don't know how everybody's got the phone number for, for the studio now. But they do. We're gonna get calls. But they do. Yeah, keep, keep your calls coming in. Send us any voice notes, we'll play them on the phone. Um, thanks for listening and watching. Don't forget to give us a follow and a like wherever you get in your podcasts or if you're watching. And subscribe to the podcast. Subscribe if you're watching. We will be back on Monday. Yeah. With a bonus. We will.

• 1:07:57Declan Donnelly?

  Until then, have a great weekend and. Respect guys. Respect guys. Do we have to stop saying that now? No. Never. Let's keep it going. Never. See you later. Ta-da.

• 1:08:13Speaker 06

  Oh my gosh, guys, the shoes have arrived. Don't tell Ant and Dec, but I'm gonna give you a sneak peek. Oh my God, look at those. These are amazing. All right. Send in your swaps. We're gonna do it next week.

• 1:08:28Speaker 07

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.