Charlie Sheen

Actor Charlie Sheen feels enchanted about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Charlie sits down with Conan to discuss his debut memoir The Book of Sheen, relating by way of struggles with addiction, the many reunions in the making of his two-part Netflix series aka Charlie Sheen, and much more. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Conan O'Brien?

  When it comes to insurance, Farmers doesn't like surprises. That's why there's Farmers coverage on a page. What is it you ask? Did you ask? I don't think you did, but let's pretend you did.

• 0:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay. What is that?

• 0:14Conan O'Brien?

  It's your coverage on a page, pretty straightforward.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:18Conan O'Brien?

  That's good, because sometimes it gets confusing, you know? What am I covered for? What am I not? Here, it's all on a page. Does your insurance do that? Get a quote to get started at Farmers.com. Don't be confused, don't wonder. Farmers makes it pretty clear. Underwritten by Farmers Truck or Fire Insurance Exchanges or affiliate. Products not available in every state.

• 0:37Speaker 02

  Monday on NBC. The wait is over for St. Dennis Medical. Strap in. The comedy about doctors.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  Woo, let's get it!

• 0:46Speaker 02

  Without boundaries.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  Healthcare is a fun, fulfilling, exciting career.

• 0:50Speaker 03

  Is it because you're getting sued and puked on all the time?

• 0:53Speaker 02

  And they're back for another dose.

• 0:55Speaker 04

  I want to show you the secret sauce of St. Dennis. The staff! This place is hell. Literal hell! Well, that's enough secret sauce.

• 1:03Speaker 02

  All-new St. Dennis Medical, Monday on NBC.

• 1:11Speaker 05

  Hi, my name is Charlie Sheen.

• 1:17Conan O'Brien?

  I love that you... Very few people struggle with their own name. Charlie, how are you?

• 1:22Speaker 05

  I came up with the fill-in in the middle of my name.

• 1:26Conan O'Brien?

  I'm using all of this. I don't care what you say.

• 1:29Speaker 05

  Yeah. Hi, my name is Charlie Sheen, and I feel enchanted.

• 1:33Conan O'Brien?

  Oh!

• 1:34Speaker 05

  About being Conan O'Brien's friend.

• 1:36Conan O'Brien?

  I love that. Yeah, I like that a lot.

• 1:38Speaker 05

  I haven't used that word since childhood.

• 1:41Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:04Conan O'Brien?

  Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, the podcast that gives life meaning. Soma Sessian joining me along with Matt Gourley. Hi. And Sona, I understand you've got a big gig coming up. Do you want to talk about it?

• 2:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, we were talking about a podcast recording we have coming up that I have to miss because I'm going to-

• 2:21Speaker 06

  This episode.

• 2:22Speaker 01

  Oh, just kidding. Oh, I'm missing this episode.

• 2:24Speaker 06

  You're missing this guest.

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Oh, so you won't see me or hear me in Charlie Sheen's episode. Do they know it's Charlie Sheen? I'm pulling a Conan, I'm like, do they know?

• 2:34Conan O'Brien?

  I know. I'm sorry, I'm from the old school of show business where you, voila, this is the new world of magic where they tell you how the trick works and then do it.

• 2:44Speaker 06

  Didn't your last show start with it going, and tonight's guests are-

• 2:46Speaker 01

  I know, I know. Nothing was ever a surprise.

• 2:49Conan O'Brien?

  I know.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 2:51Conan O'Brien?

  Don't reveal how ignorant I am in my own life.

• 2:55Conan O'Brien?

  I don't even know who I am at this point. So, but anyway, I'm gonna try and clean-

• 2:59Speaker 01

  So I'm missing the Charlie Sheen interview.

• 3:01Conan O'Brien?

  My job is to clean up this brambled brush.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 3:03Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you are going to miss the interview today because-

• 3:08Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 3:08Conan O'Brien?

  You have to go on a big gig. Tell us what the gig is.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  I'm doing a speaking engagement at a convention for assistants. Why are you laughing so hard? I was your assistant for 12 years.

• 3:20Speaker 06

  You were terrible.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  How dare you?

• 3:23Speaker 06

  Why is there also a convention for assistants?

• 3:25Speaker 01

  Because there's, it's an important thing to bring us all together. We are the most powerful people in the entertainment business.

• 3:33Speaker 06

  This is gonna make me sound really ignorant, probably to a bunch of assistants.

• 3:36Conan O'Brien?

  She's speaking, she's the one who's telling all the assistants.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  Stop laughing.

• 3:40Conan O'Brien?

  I'm the assistant.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  I kept you alive for 12 years. I kept you alive, I kept you fed.

• 3:48Conan O'Brien?

  This is the greatest thing I've ever heard.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  I got you to where you needed to be. I, I, uh, I forgot what else I did. I'm pretty sure like I-

• 3:58Conan O'Brien?

  Welcome, everybody, to the convention of non-killing murderers. And our speaker today is Genghis Khan.

• 4:08Conan O'Brien?

  Genghis, talk about your life of not killing and not murdering. No violence.

• 4:14Speaker 01

  These are my people. These are my people.

• 4:16Conan O'Brien?

  Now, are you there? Is it kind of ironic that you're going? People know. You wrote a book called World's Worst Assistant.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, you wrote the foreword for it.

• 4:24Conan O'Brien?

  I know, yeah.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  You laugh, you laugh at you. You did this. You laugh at you.

• 4:29Conan O'Brien?

  You laugh at you?

• 4:30Speaker 01

  Because you enabled this, you laugh at you.

• 4:32Conan O'Brien?

  Is this a preview of your speech? Hey, number one rule of being assistant, you laugh you. You laugh you. What are you talking about? You're incoherent.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  What I'm saying is you enabled me for 12 years.

• 4:44Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, sure, all right.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  What do you mean, sure?

• 4:47Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, yes, I agree with you.

• 4:49Speaker 01

  I don't think you ever reprimanded me. You just made fun of me all the time.

• 4:53Conan O'Brien?

  Right, but what I'm saying is, given that all of that is true, you still should not be speaking to thousands of assistants and putting your imprint on their mind.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  How, I am, I am a success story.

• 5:10Conan O'Brien?

  In spite of yourself?

• 5:12Speaker 01

  That's true, but I assisted a high-profile individual for a very long time.

• 5:17Conan O'Brien?

  Very true, very true.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  And I got you to where you needed to be. Yeah, what do you mean, uh? Yeah, I did.

• 5:25Conan O'Brien?

  Good debating skill. What do you mean, uh?

• 5:29Conan O'Brien?

  Were you also a champion of Sessi?

• 5:31Speaker 01

  I was, I was a champion, I, speech. I didn't debate.

• 5:34Conan O'Brien?

  Speech, she didn't debate, because debate involves logic and doing a little reading ahead of time. She was really good at going, "Oh, me? Now you!" You look at you. You look at you.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  You look at you, you laugh.

• 5:45Conan O'Brien?

  Funny me, funny you.

• 5:46Speaker 01

  You laugh you, and you, no, you did this. You did this. You enabled this.

• 5:51Conan O'Brien?

  And the speech champion once again is Sonamov Sessi, and Sessi, and Sessi, and Sessi.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  No, for real though, I came into this ambitious, and then you started making fun of me very early on. You said it sounded like I was arguing with Dracula when I was talking to my grandma on the phone.

• 6:05Conan O'Brien?

  It was your mother.

• 6:05Speaker 01

  And it broke us.

• 6:06Conan O'Brien?

  And it did sound like arguing.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  It broke us.

• 6:07Conan O'Brien?

  You were going, "Blah, blah, blah." And it did sound like, you know, Dracula the auctioneer, and I just commented on that, and I thought was a very sensitive way.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  Are you proud of what you've done to me?

• 6:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, I think it's really funny.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  Is it?

• 6:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  Is it funny for you?

• 6:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  Because you, in a, I think you-

• 6:21Conan O'Brien?

  You funny you.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  You, you funny you.

• 6:24Conan O'Brien?

  Well, you win that one too. God, you're good. What's the subject of your speech gonna be?

• 6:28Speaker 01

  It's not. It's a Q and A. I don't even have to have a prepared speech. I'm just gonna have a conversation with someone, which is nice. It's called the EA Mafia and, you know, they're like, it's a, it's gonna be in Palm Springs. It's gonna be lovely.

• 6:40Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, I'm gonna say this, at the risk of ruining all our good fun. You are, were a remarkable assistant. And, no, listen, I, I will say this, on some of the specifics, a disaster. But, the important thing is, Sona would have jumped in front of a bullet for me.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  I would have.

• 6:59Conan O'Brien?

  She would have. She's incredibly loyal. I- Why would you have done that?

• 7:03Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 7:04Conan O'Brien?

  Just so she could get overtime. Keep the job.

• 7:07Speaker 01

  To protect my paycheck? I don't know.

• 7:09Conan O'Brien?

  She'd be like, "Well, I'm shot now, so that's double overtime for the length of my recovery."

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Can I say something, though? You compliment David Hopping way more than you have ever complimented me. You always tell him he's doing a good job.

• 7:22Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  I taught him everything he knows.

• 7:24Conan O'Brien?

  I don't think that's true.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  It is true.

• 7:26Conan O'Brien?

  No, he, he took over and you were like, "Good luck to you. You do you."

• 7:31Speaker 01

  You do-

• 7:31Conan O'Brien?

  And then you jumped out a window and landed in a big hummus truck.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  Oh, that sounds good. I wanna get, I want some of that. That actually sounds really nice.

• 7:39Conan O'Brien?

  No, I'm gonna finish my nice thing.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  Okay, yes, please.

• 7:41Conan O'Brien?

  Incredibly loyal, very street smart, savvy, really funny, and we had a blast. I had a blast working with you. I think 95% of the time, we were doing bits. But yeah, helped keep me sane, or kept me insane. I don't know which, but, Sona, I love you and I owe you everything.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  I love you too. I'm serious too. I really miss working with you on a daily basis.

• 8:06Conan O'Brien?

  But back to how terrible you were at the specifics.

• 8:08Speaker 01

  No, we were so close to a nice moment. Come on, come on.

• 8:13Conan O'Brien?

  My favorite quote is the, we did a remote that you can look up on YouTube, I'm sure, or our webs, whatever. I don't know how things work.

• 8:22Speaker 01

  What?

• 8:22Conan O'Brien?

  Youtube. What's that? Youtube. Youtube's still a thing? Okay. Um, on the tube, you can look it up, but uh, when you and I worked with someone.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  The HR rep.

• 8:32Conan O'Brien?

  The HR rep. Blair, I think, right? Yeah.

• 8:34Speaker 01

  Oh, that's right. Her name is Blair.

• 8:36Conan O'Brien?

  And you said, and you weren't making a joke, you say, "I just think I have a mental block against assisting him." And I said, "You are my assistant."

• 8:45Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 8:45Conan O'Brien?

  And it was such a great moment because I think that's true, but it also in a great way worked.

• 8:50Speaker 01

  It did work. It worked and we're pals for life.

• 8:53Conan O'Brien?

  We are pals for life and I'm-

• 8:54Speaker 01

  I'm a barnacle.

• 8:55Conan O'Brien?

  Also, I'm proud of you. I'm, I'm really glad that you're doing this and I think those people are lucky to have you.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  Oh my god, thanks, Kong.

• 9:01Conan O'Brien?

  Piece of, what, are you getting paid?

• 9:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:03Conan O'Brien?

  Can I get a little something?

• 9:04Speaker 01

  No.

• 9:04Conan O'Brien?

  Little taste?

• 9:05Speaker 01

  No, that's mine. Don't do, don't do that with your mouth.

• 9:08Conan O'Brien?

  I wanna wet my beak.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  No, don't do that. Oh my god, no, I'm not do- stop doing that. Ew.

• 9:13Conan O'Brien?

  I love wet my beak. Godfather 2.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  It's gross. I don't like the-

• 9:16Conan O'Brien?

  Wet my beak.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  -sound effects. Those are awful. Awful.

• 9:19Conan O'Brien?

  My guest today, we gotta get into it. Yeah. I mean, there's no time to screw around. Maybe he wants to wet his beak. Well, it's all we've been doing is screwing around, just so we're clear. I know, that is actually the job definition.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  That is what we do.

• 9:31Conan O'Brien?

  Quit screwing around. We gotta get back to screwing around. My guest today is an actor whose new memoir, The Book of Sheen, is out now. He also has a two-part Netflix documentary titled AKA Charlie Sheen.

• 9:48Conan O'Brien?

  Charlie Sheen, welcome.

• 9:54Conan O'Brien?

  I wanna make it clear to uh, to all my listeners, I met you years and years ago. You came on, I didn't realize, you came on my show eight times. That's amazing. You came on the show a lot. And the first time I met you, my immediate reaction was, and this is but long before Two and a Half Men. Okay. My, my reaction was, "Damn, this guy's really funny." Oh, right on. And I remember clicking with you right away just about how funny you are, which enraged me.

• 10:21Conan O'Brien?

  Because uh, you were born with that head and I was born with this head. That infuriated me that you were so quick and verbally dexterous. Your delivery is so dry. You have the features and of course, the career of a leading man actor. Thank you. But you're- You were so funny in ways that could surprise because it's not what I expected coming out of you, and I think that served you really well over the years.

• 10:48Speaker 05

  Thank you, and now speak to that?

• 10:50Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:54Speaker 05

  What can I?

• 10:55Conan O'Brien?

  Where do you go from there?

• 10:56Speaker 05

  What can I say that you didn't?

• 10:57Conan O'Brien?

  Well, you could say, no, no, you're wrong, Conan, it is you.

• 11:01Speaker 05

  Right, right.

• 11:02Conan O'Brien?

  Who is the true master. Of course, you haven't done that.

• 11:05Speaker 05

  It was you, though, when I discovered that we had, like, instantly, we had a comedic rapport.

• 11:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 11:13Speaker 05

  And we understood each other's rhythms and timing and sensibilities.

• 11:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes.

• 11:17Speaker 05

  And that doesn't use, that's rare.

• 11:20Conan O'Brien?

  No, it was so much fun. I remembered, you know, there was always, as you know, you generate all kinds of stories, and at the time, there was some story about how you liked feet, you know, ladies' feet.

• 11:33Speaker 05

  Oh, right.

• 11:34Conan O'Brien?

  And so, our producer-

• 11:35Speaker 05

  We did it with Andy.

• 11:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and our producer Frank Smiley said, and, you know, we thought, well, we'll pitch you this thing, and I thought, well, Charlie Sheen might just get mad and punch us. It was all about us showing you different feet and you rating them.

• 11:49Speaker 05

  Right.

• 11:50Conan O'Brien?

  And you were like, of course, yes, let's do that. And then you did it, and you were really funny, and to me, it's, oh, he's really fun to play with. And there's so many ways that I, first of all, a lot of similarities, you and I were, when you talk about who really partied hard in the 80s and 90s, it's always Charlie Sheen and Conan O'Brien.

• 12:12Speaker 05

  Well, yeah. I mean, and not always in that order.

• 12:15Conan O'Brien?

  Not always in that order?

• 12:15Speaker 05

  No.

• 12:16Conan O'Brien?

  No.

• 12:16Speaker 06

  You sure he didn't party and you didn't just clean up?

• 12:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, no, no, I, and Charlie will bear this out, but there was not a moment in his hard-living times when I wasn't right across the room. It was me, Nick Cage, and you. And I was-

• 12:31Speaker 05

  And Sean Penn, of course.

• 12:32Conan O'Brien?

  And Sean Penn. And I remembered you guys sometimes saying, Conan, slow down.

• 12:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, but that didn't matter if you never listened to us.

• 12:43Speaker 05

  But if you're gonna set up.

• 12:48Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, that's why when I watched the documentary, read the book, I'm like, hey, where am I, man? I was there often leading the way.

• 12:55Speaker 05

  Well, as litigious as you've been in the past, uh, we were like, let's just, let's just disappear him.

• 13:03Speaker 05

  And we did, and I, I thought you'd see that as a, as a compliment.

• 13:07Conan O'Brien?

  You know, I, my, uh, my wife, very appreciative, my kids, so glad not to be mentioned. It's so funny, cause you've always made me, uh, really laugh and you have this, you've had this unusual career where, you know, these, uh, these films, these iconic films, uh, that you were, that you were in. And then, um, where you're playing, it's a heavy roles and leading man stuff and, you know, Oscar winning, uh, uh, you know, Platoon and you're in Wall Street and, and then you have this, we're talking about it, uh, uh, Major League and the Hot Shots, where you got to show this other muscle that most guys in your position didn't,

• 13:52Conan O'Brien?

  wouldn't have had that kind of flexibility.

• 13:54Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 13:54Conan O'Brien?

  And you probably knew all along, well, I could do that if I had to, or did you not know?

• 13:58Speaker 05

  Well, um, the Hot Shots movies, I, I, going into it, um, I was gonna be borrowing from the late, great Leslie Nielsen.

• 14:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yeah, yeah.

• 14:09Speaker 05

  And I just, I kind of, cause I saw those films as a child, uh, or as a young teenager, like with Emilio in Westwood on a Friday night, watching Airplane. It was the first time when I thought, oh my gosh, someone else gets my sense of humor.

• 14:26Conan O'Brien?

  And when I saw that, I thought, oh yes, this is what it is. Your eyes don't twinkle.

• 14:31Speaker 05

  No.

• 14:31Conan O'Brien?

  When you say it, you have to have the 10,000 yard stare. Everything you brought to any of their, your serious movies, you now bring to this, but what you're saying and doing is, is quite absurd.

• 14:43Speaker 05

  Right. So I, I have to kill those jokes like I killed Sergeant Barnes.

• 14:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 14:51Speaker 05

  I just came up with that.

• 14:52Conan O'Brien?

  That's amazing.

• 14:53Speaker 05

  And then, and then I had another.

• 14:55Conan O'Brien?

  Very good.

• 14:56Speaker 05

  Thank you. Thank you. I just, that, that's a fresh one for me.

• 14:59Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, okay.

• 15:00Speaker 05

  And then I just realized that you're talking with us too. I don't mean that demeaningly, but you're part of the, you're in part of the triangle.

• 15:07Conan O'Brien?

  You know what? We discourage him as much as possible.

• 15:09Speaker 05

  Okay, okay. Cause I don't wanna be like, he's the only one that matters.

• 15:12Conan O'Brien?

  You really don't have to. No, Charlie, please.

• 15:14Speaker 05

  But you're part of the show.

• 15:15Speaker 06

  Uh, not really.

• 15:17Speaker 05

  Did you, are you filling in for someone today?

• 15:18Speaker 06

  No, no, no. I've never met this guy before in my life.

• 15:21Conan O'Brien?

  No, no. He was here to, uh, fix the HVAC.

• 15:23Speaker 05

  That's right.

• 15:24Conan O'Brien?

  And we said, he said, this chair is comfortable. I said, well, have a seat.

• 15:27Speaker 06

  And I said, this is true. I did see Platoon when I was in sixth grade, six times in the theater.

• 15:32Speaker 05

  In sixth grade?

• 15:34Speaker 06

  Middle school.

• 15:35Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 15:35Speaker 06

  And I was obsessed with that movie.

• 15:36Conan O'Brien?

  You saw it how many times in the theater?

• 15:38Speaker 06

  Six times in the theater.

• 15:38Speaker 05

  Six times, I know.

• 15:39Conan O'Brien?

  So you have, I mean, that's a lot of money in Charlie's pocket.

• 15:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 15:42Conan O'Brien?

  That came directly from you.

• 15:43Speaker 05

  And I'm here to get it back.

• 15:45Conan O'Brien?

  You were dissatisfied, but you couldn't stop seeing it.

• 15:48Speaker 05

  That was a lot of money in Oliver's pocket.

• 15:50Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 15:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 15:51Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, okay, well.

• 15:52Speaker 05

  I didn't have any ownership back then, you know?

• 15:54Conan O'Brien?

  Of course, right. But one of the things that, uh, you know, between your, your book and the documentary, both of which I've found fascinating.

• 16:04Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 16:04Conan O'Brien?

  One of the things that I connected to on a personal level was because we're the same vintage. I grew up, came of age in the seventies as a kid.

• 16:15Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 16:15Conan O'Brien?

  And in the documentary, you're showing a lot of, uh, footage from your Super 8 films that you're making. And I recognize the jeans. I recognize the shirts, the jackets. I also recognize this idea that there were no helicopter parents back then. You just did whatever you did all day long with your friends.

• 16:35Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 16:35Conan O'Brien?

  My parents never knew what I was up to or what I was doing.

• 16:38Speaker 05

  Right.

• 16:39Conan O'Brien?

  In my case, not much. In your case, a lot. But I was looking at those, um, looking at your Super 8 films and I was thinking, yeah, I remember this part of my life. That resonates with me so powerfully.

• 16:53Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 16:53Conan O'Brien?

  Killing time with your friends. Only in your case, your friends are Sean Penn.

• 16:59Speaker 06

  And his brother Chris.

• 17:00Conan O'Brien?

  Chris, your brother Emilio, your, your, I mean, it's a who's who of very famous actors that you're clowning around with, only you're doing the same shit that I was doing in Brookline, Massachusetts with my brothers, only we didn't go on to become iconic movie legends.

• 17:19Conan O'Brien?

  You guys did.

• 17:21Speaker 05

  Well, um, yeah, and um, there's two people that are missing from the doc only because they joined the party late and the, the choice in the doc to focus on that, that specific, you know, capture of time, um, and that was Rob and Chad Low.

• 17:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 17:40Speaker 05

  They were also like right down the street. It was like, what was in the water?

• 17:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 17:44Speaker 05

  What was in that Point Dune water?

• 17:45Conan O'Brien?

  And was Rob moisturizing back then as a child?

• 17:48Speaker 05

  Uh, he must have been. He must have been. Yeah.

• 17:52Conan O'Brien?

  It just, that guy kills me.

• 17:54Speaker 05

  What is the deal?

• 17:56Conan O'Brien?

  He'll be, my face rotting like a pumpkin, uh, in the hot late October sun. Um, and I've, I've had talks with him and I remember I was talking to him once and he reached into his pocket and it came out and there was like a little packet in there and he was like, squeak, squeak, squeak.

• 18:10Speaker 05

  Is that true? Did that happen?

• 18:11Conan O'Brien?

  I think it happened. I think it happened, but he, you know, some internal clock went off that must moisturize, but yes, yeah. I don't know if he'll outlive me, but his face will outlive me by a hundred and twenty years.

• 18:22Speaker 05

  All of us. All of us. Yeah.

• 18:23Conan O'Brien?

  But, um, one of the things that was fascinating about watching the doc was you're making these very innocent films with your friends. Then you go off because your dad, Martin Sheen, is going to shoot Apocalypse Now. You and, and your family join him. When you come home from Apocalypse Now, spending a long time in the Philippines, your films change in tone and you actually have some of the props from Apocalypse Now, like a severed hand. You brought stuff back and suddenly all of the films go from, ha, ha, oops, we fell down.

• 18:58Speaker 05

  Right.

• 18:59Conan O'Brien?

  Whoops, I went boom. Yay, hippie, woo. And then you come back from shooting that and it's people shooting themselves, shooting each other, hands flying, body parts.

• 19:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:10Conan O'Brien?

  Your oeuvre completely changed.

• 19:12Speaker 05

  It did. It did. Um, yeah, I, I, I guess the, um, the violence, the, the pure spectacle, um, the sheer amount of blood and body parts.

• 19:25Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 19:26Speaker 05

  On Apocalypse, uh, like, it just like a, you know, like on a Tuesday.

• 19:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 19:30Speaker 05

  You know, um, just seeing that and, and, but also starting to like get, get in touch with, um, you know, not, not with the emotional aspects of FX makeup and gore and all that, but with the technical filmic. Versions of it, you know, and then wanting so badly to emulate that and bring that home. And then basically, it went from the stuff you talked about to our prop department just being guns and blanks and blood. That was it.

• 20:03Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, it's really funny to see that change. Some of that's age, but also you were just on the set of Apocalypse Now for a long time.

• 20:12Speaker 05

  Right.

• 20:13Conan O'Brien?

  There's skulls everywhere.

• 20:14Speaker 05

  There's skulls everywhere. The heads, you're looking at the heads. I mean, it's a line.

• 20:19Conan O'Brien?

  And this is you at catering. Yeah. There's just skulls and bodies and just here for a taco.

• 20:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:25Conan O'Brien?

  You had these friends who were becoming famous and then you had your brother. Emilio becomes very famous, huge star. And then there's the whole Brat Pack phenomenon, all those guys and gals. And I remembered I came out to LA in 85 and I have a very clear memory of working at Sunset Gower Studios as a 22-year-old, walking up the street to make a deposit at the Wells Fargo on Sunset in Hollywood. And all of a sudden I saw this Jeep roar, open Jeep roar pass and it was Emilio and Demi and Rod, they were all in there all going, "Yay!"

• 21:07Conan O'Brien?

  And they went by me and I remember thinking, "Oh, boy. If only I could be in that Jeep." That's how I thought back then. Of course. Surgery.

• 21:17Speaker 05

  We all did.

• 21:20Conan O'Brien?

  Your early movies where you're like, "I'm gonna go to Wall Street." So glad they did ADR and fixed that.

• 21:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:27Conan O'Brien?

  You are around that and I was thinking, "Oh, right. You'd have been around the Brat Pack, but no one knows who you are yet." And what did that feel like?

• 21:34Speaker 05

  It felt awful. It felt, I felt like I was just, you know, taking up the rear. I felt like a valet on certain nights. Even when I was in the mix, like we'd start at the Hard Rock Cafe and then we'd, you know, wherever the night took us to all the VIP lounges and all the special places where you'd, you know, try to hang out with the Untouchables, you know, not the band, like, you know, actual, yeah, super famous people. But I never, it felt the worst was when...

• 22:06Speaker 05

  All the attention from all the pretty girls, you know, and they would all go home with them, you know, and I would just go home. And it was, and I just, but it was, and I think there's a line in the book that my, my, my inner bear had been poked and it, and it lit a fire. You could see from the fucking moon, you know.

• 22:27Conan O'Brien?

  You knew on some level, because had you been a different person, you might've said, well, gee, I'd like to be in their situation, but that's not really my thing. It almost seems to me like you had this subconscious knowledge. I'm supposed to be one of the people that everybody knows.

• 22:43Speaker 05

  Well, that, or at least be part of all of the perks, you know, I didn't give a shit about acting. I was looking at that, just like, you know, if I can just.

• 22:54Conan O'Brien?

  Didn't give a shit about acting.

• 22:56Speaker 05

  No, if I could just get a job that everybody like, you know, lines up to go see.

• 23:01Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:01Speaker 05

  Then that's how my nights will end. I mean, seriously, that's kind of was the inspiration.

• 23:08Conan O'Brien?

  You are honest to a fault.

• 23:10Speaker 05

  Thank you. Thank you.

• 23:12Conan O'Brien?

  I only got into comedy to do good works.

• 23:15Speaker 05

  Right, I know.

• 23:16Conan O'Brien?

  In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I'm not familiar with these perks you speak of. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have nine Bentleys duct taped together. I'm gonna drive home.

• 23:35Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 23:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:38Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 23:52Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 23:53Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 24:06Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 24:10Conan O'Brien?

  Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 24:25Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 24:26Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid It should! Yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty, it's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 25:00Conan O'Brien?

  With the US Bank Smartly Visa Signature Card, you earn an unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. Huh, it's a good deal.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:07Conan O'Brien?

  No quarterly activations, no categories to track, just unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. Sona, just the other day, I bought you this antique wig stand.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 25:19Conan O'Brien?

  And I didn't get cash back, and I regret it now.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. Well, that's a very thoughtful gift.

• 25:25Conan O'Brien?

  Do you wear a wig, or is that your hair?

• 25:26Speaker 01

  Absolutely not. It's definitely my hair. And so, it's kind of insulting you would buy that gift for me.

• 25:32Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I'll just return it anyway, but I do wish I got cash back.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:35Conan O'Brien?

  Visit usbank.com/smartlycard to learn more. The creditor and issuer of this card is US Bank National Association pursuant to a license from Visa USA, Inc. Some restrictions may apply.

• 25:50Conan O'Brien?

  Ever invest in something that seemed incredible at first, but didn't live up to the hype?

• 25:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, all the time.

• 25:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. I did that with an all-potato restaurant.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 26:01Conan O'Brien?

  Marketers know that feeling. They optimize for the numbers that look great, like impressions, but then they don't see revenue. You know what I'm talking about, don't you, Sona?

• 26:10Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, all the time.

• 26:11Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. LinkedIn has a word for that: bullspend.

• 26:14Speaker 01

  Bullspend.

• 26:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Instead, you can get the highest ROAS of major ad networks with LinkedIn ads. Cut the bullspend. Advertise on LinkedIn. Spend $250 and get a $250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.com/Conan. Terms apply.

• 26:37Conan O'Brien?

  There's so much, I really recommend the documentary because there's so much in it. Yes, there's all these harrowing tales that you have. There are moments where I, as you, as your star rises and you're self-medicating and you're, you're getting into all kinds of stuff where I'm like, okay, that's not me. Like, there's a scene where you're actually being very valiant. You're trying to help a woman out who's in a bad situation. She's in a house with kind of a violent guy.

• 27:05Speaker 05

  Oh, right, right, yeah.

• 27:06Conan O'Brien?

  And you say, "Well, I, I went to the, I knew she was in there with this tough guy, so I went out to my trunk of my car and popped it open and I took out my," and you know the exact

• 27:14Speaker 05

  I do, I do.

• 27:15Conan O'Brien?

  "Make and model of the gun."

• 27:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, it was an HK P7M13.

• 27:20Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, not the way I go. I go for a Glock M8944 slash B, carry the three.

• 27:28Speaker 05

  They were sold out of those the day I bought the HK.

• 27:33Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, no, no, no, that's, I think of it always as a ladies handgun, but anyway. It shoots bubbles. What do you, what do you want? No, you, you, you.

• 27:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, why was I so specific about that in the doc?

• 27:46Conan O'Brien?

  In the doc, it stood out to me like, you rattle off the name of the gun and you like, chamber around and put it in your waistband, and I'm like, okay, you're an actor. What are you doing?

• 27:56Speaker 05

  Um, well, you know, rolling through a dangerous neighborhood, right? So I figured I should pack a little heat.

• 28:03Conan O'Brien?

  But it's in the trunk of your car.

• 28:04Speaker 05

  Right.

• 28:07Conan O'Brien?

  Could you pardon me for a minute, sir? I'll take care of you if you don't mind. I'll step out of the car, get it in the trunk if you don't mind.

• 28:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, wait, all my, my wallet's in the trunk. Hey, buddy.

• 28:24Speaker 05

  No, but it still came in handy.

• 28:25Conan O'Brien?

  It did, yeah.

• 28:26Speaker 05

  That was a tough guy moment, though, that doesn't really speak to like who I claim to be or or want to be.

• 28:32Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 28:32Speaker 05

  But it did feel dangerous enough that I needed to be armed.

• 28:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 28:36Speaker 05

  In that moment, in that creepy place to help her out.

• 28:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:40Speaker 05

  I just, I'm really glad I didn't have to shoot anybody.

• 28:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 28:44Speaker 05

  Right?

• 28:45Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 28:45Speaker 05

  Because that's when it gets like...

• 28:46Conan O'Brien?

  You need confirmation on that?

• 28:47Speaker 05

  I mean, it gets...

• 28:47Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, no, I say it would be good if you shot up the place.

• 28:50Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 28:51Conan O'Brien?

  Um...

• 28:51Speaker 05

  But that's when it gets messy.

• 28:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 28:53Speaker 05

  You know?

• 28:54Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, well, I do know.

• 28:55Speaker 05

  And not like our Super 8 movies.

• 28:57Conan O'Brien?

  Right, right. This is the real thing. Is this disallowed? Are we like not... Uh, I don't see any issue with it. I have no issue with it at all. It's just nicotine. Yeah. I don't know what you're doing. I mean, I'm fine with it.

• 29:07Speaker 05

  Vape away.

• 29:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Well, no, I was gonna say he was doing something else since it's audio. Yeah. He said, "Is this okay?" And he started removing his clothes.

• 29:15Speaker 05

  Can you imagine?

• 29:16Conan O'Brien?

  He just pulled out a Heckler and Koch 79B. Is this okay if I fire upon Conan?

• 29:24Speaker 05

  Amazing.

• 29:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, I don't have no problem with it.

• 29:29Speaker 05

  But but back to that night.

• 29:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 29:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, with Sandy.

• 29:32Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 29:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 29:32Conan O'Brien?

  I'm not doing this in any particular order. It's just as things come to me.

• 29:36Speaker 05

  That's all right.

• 29:36Conan O'Brien?

  And one of the things that comes to me is, which is, makes me sad, but you are uh, very evocative of another very handsome, very talented, extremely verbally funny person that I got to know a little bit, not super well, but Matthew Perry.

• 29:52Speaker 05

  Oh, wow.

• 29:52Conan O'Brien?

  He came on my show Just as Friends was hitting and he got there early and I remembered us just chatting in 30 Rock in the hallway.

• 30:01Speaker 05

  And laughing.

• 30:02Conan O'Brien?

  And taking a little walk and laughing.

• 30:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 30:03Conan O'Brien?

  And, you know, and um, I just thought, damn, this guy's so, as you are, verbally dexterous, funny, then I find out that you guys actually became friendly uh, before he passed away.

• 30:20Speaker 05

  We did, yeah.

• 30:21Conan O'Brien?

  Which makes complete sense to me.

• 30:23Speaker 05

  Sure, sure. I I I wish that I had stayed in better touch with him or just stayed more available or his his his orbit was a was a hard... One to to to penetrate, you know,

• 30:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 30:36Speaker 05

  Or or his his ecosystem or whatever. Which isn't unsurprising because uh you you know, when people need to be insulated to to to to hide or protect the things that they're that they're doing.

• 30:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 30:50Speaker 05

  Um, the less people getting the past the velvet rope, the better, you know?

• 30:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I just.

• 30:57Speaker 05

  But I read his book.

• 30:59Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 30:59Speaker 05

  And I read it in a day. And I just I started it and I was like, OK, I don't want to do anything else until I finish this. And then I wanted to reach out to him. And then, you know, you have kids and stuff in life and I was like, ah, call him tomorrow. Ah, call him next week. But I wanted to just congratulate him and have a laugh about how I was included in his book.

• 31:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 31:18Speaker 05

  That there's one line where he says, fuck Charlie Sheen. I'm gonna be just as famous one day, you know? He was like using me like I used Emilio and Rob and Dad and the rest of them, you know? Um, and I never got to reach out and and first of all, thank him for that. And and congratulate him on the book and then he, I think, died a month after I read it.

• 31:37Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 31:37Speaker 05

  You know?

• 31:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 31:38Speaker 05

  It was that it was there. There was a moment um in my childhood, there's a uh there was a coffee house in Malibu. And it sits like it was there for years and they finally tore it down like the get rid of everything cool, right? And um, uh, I think I was eleven or twelve. I had decided that Jaws was the greatest film ever made.

• 31:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 31:59Speaker 05

  Right? And I saw it in the movie theater a hundred times. Like in a movie theater, because it played in theaters for a year.

• 32:05Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 32:05Speaker 05

  Or longer. So anyway, in the middle of that, probably forty showings into that, right? Dad drops me off at that diner and I go and sit down. He said, I'll park the car and I'll join you in a minute, right? Um, so he's I'm waiting for him and a person sits down next to me and I turn and look at him and it's Roy Scheider.

• 32:24Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, wow.

• 32:25Speaker 05

  It's Chief Brody.

• 32:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 32:26Speaker 05

  And I'm frozen. I don't know what to do. I literally don't I the we don't there's no languages available. There's no I mean, I'm twelve, you know?

• 32:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 32:35Speaker 05

  And and then he was there just briefly. Dad took a while with the car. They knew each other from New York. That introduction could have been like, oh, hey, by the way, it's my son, right? He leaves, Dad shows up and I say, Chief Brody was just here, right? And he says, ah, it's too bad. I know him. I could have introduced you. So then that's so I never, I never got to tell him that. Right. And I was always like, Jesus, if I ever saw, you know, if I ever see him out in the world, then, you know, I'll, I'll, I'll say, wow, as a child in this thing. But during two and a half, Holland Taylor played my mom, she knew him. And so she got that message to him.

• 33:15Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, that's good.

• 33:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, before, before he passed, you know. But it was another one of those things. It was with Matthew that it was kind of, it was, it, it reminded me of the shider missed opportunity. Yeah.

• 33:28Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, that, I, I mean, Matthew wrote very honestly about his experiences and you must have rang a lot of bells with you about those demons and what it's like.

• 33:39Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:40Conan O'Brien?

  To have that kind of, uh, to be wrestling with that level of addiction.

• 33:44Speaker 05

  Yes. And, and his story, I think, took us more through, um, a lot of the, you know, um, just, um, a lot of the stuff that, that he dealt with specifically, um, with rehabs and with detoxes and with that whole world that tends to, um, cycle people, you know what I'm saying? That, that, that sort of the business model is to rely on, on relapse.

• 34:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 34:13Speaker 05

  And I'm gonna get yelled at for saying that, but there's, that, that's, it's really true, you know? And then they, they saw.

• 34:19Conan O'Brien?

  It can probably happen insidiously where it starts out one way, but then things can become a business.

• 34:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly.

• 34:24Conan O'Brien?

  And then you want to return customers sometimes. And I, I mean, I'm not, I'm, I'm asking, I'm not telling because I don't know.

• 34:29Speaker 05

  Uh, yes, yes, that, that, that is accurate.

• 34:33Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. Well, the lawsuit's on you then.

• 34:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's fine. It's fine. Add it, add it to the stack.

• 34:40Conan O'Brien?

  There's actually seven stacks behind you of lawsuits.

• 34:44Speaker 05

  But I, but I could relate to, to a lot of that and just being at the mercy of people all the time and just giving away, giving up your power and giving up your agency and giving up just the, the, the, the light that makes you special, you know? And it just, that just being dimmed. You know, um, plus I never did the frickin drug that he, you, you, you know.

• 35:06Conan O'Brien?

  Was it, what was it, ketamine?

• 35:07Speaker 05

  Ketamine, yeah.

• 35:08Conan O'Brien?

  He was ketamine, yeah.

• 35:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, um, the other thing that I'm, I'm grateful that, you know, I was never, um, involved. Uh, my heavy drug use, uh, n- n- never included fentanyl.

• 35:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 35:21Speaker 05

  So that was never like-

• 35:22Conan O'Brien?

  There's a good chance you wouldn't be here if it had.

• 35:24Speaker 05

  Exactly, exactly, yeah. Um, my ex-wife Brooke was engaged to a guy who had a nice business, you know, was a former athlete, young dude, good looking, um, but couldn't stop getting loaded and wound up in rehab again and scored dope, uh, some cocaine in rehab and went into the bathroom and did a couple big lines and died on his way to the floor. So it's like, and, and that was fentanyl.

• 35:50Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 35:51Speaker 05

  You know, and I just think about, my gosh, how many situation was, was I in where that, you know, we couldn't like order the fentanyl test strips on Amazon back then, right? I mean, it was just like-

• 36:02Conan O'Brien?

  As you can now, you're saying?

• 36:04Speaker 05

  Well, yeah, that's, that's literally it.

• 36:06Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, right? I thought you meant order fentanyl on Amazon.

• 36:09Speaker 05

  No, the test strips to see if it's-

• 36:11Conan O'Brien?

  For a second I was like, well, hold on, my phone's right here.

• 36:14Speaker 05

  We're wrapping early.

• 36:18Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, yeah, I misheard you, um, but, uh, it's not like today when you can just get fentanyl on Amazon. Um, there's another lawsuit, but not me, again, you. Yeah, you talk about, there was a great quote where you said that, that you and Matthew Perry, uh, you had a friend of yours that described you guys as veterans of the unspeakable.

• 36:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:38Conan O'Brien?

  And, um-

• 36:39Speaker 05

  That's a Downey quote.

• 36:40Conan O'Brien?

  Is it Jim Downey?

• 36:41Speaker 05

  No, uh, uh, Robert Downey Jr.

• 36:43Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God.

• 36:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a Downey quote.

• 36:46Conan O'Brien?

  Most people say Downey quote and I go to Jim Downey, personality, comedy writer.

• 36:50Speaker 05

  That's awesome.

• 36:50Conan O'Brien?

  And you go to that other Downey who no one knows.

• 36:53Speaker 05

  Right, I mean, maybe one day, maybe one day, yeah.

• 36:56Conan O'Brien?

  There's another really funny, very funny, verbally dexterous guy, brilliant actor.

• 37:01Speaker 05

  No, and a lovely man.

• 37:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, um-

• 37:04Speaker 05

  But it's, I gave him a new nickname in my book. I call him Bobby DJ. Wow, that's pretty good, right?

• 37:11Conan O'Brien?

  I like Bobby DJ.

• 37:12Speaker 05

  Kind of rolls right off the tongue, right?

• 37:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 37:14Speaker 05

  Bobby DJ.

• 37:14Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, well, I don't have one of those. I have a, I'm not gonna say guilty pleasure, because usually when you say, oh, I, I, I watch these comedies on reruns, but I'm, I'm friendly with, uh, one of your directors on Two and a Half Men, Jamie Widows.

• 37:30Speaker 05

  Oh, okay.

• 37:30Conan O'Brien?

  Who's, uh, who's a lovely guy.

• 37:32Speaker 05

  One of the great people ever.

• 37:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 37:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:35Conan O'Brien?

  He's a lovely guy. He's hilariously funny. A lot of you will know him like, wait a minute, how do I know that? You know, great TV director, but, uh, Animal House.

• 37:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:43Conan O'Brien?

  He's in Animal House. He's Hoover, I believe.

• 37:46Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 37:47Conan O'Brien?

  In Animal House, you know, uh, well, now, hold on a second, Dean, you know, you sit down, you know, that, uh, smart guy.

• 37:55Speaker 05

  And he tells great stories from that set.

• 37:57Conan O'Brien?

  He has great stories about Belushi. He has great stories. I mean, I gotta get him on here to tell those great stories. Um, but his price is high.

• 38:05Speaker 05

  So wait.

• 38:06Conan O'Brien?

  Anyway, he, he talks about. You should be getting paid. Hundreds of thousands of dollars.

• 38:10Speaker 05

  Interesting. Wow, they skipped that part.

• 38:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 38:13Speaker 05

  Just skip it.

• 38:14Conan O'Brien?

  He'll be paid. Um, Two and a Half Men, anytime that show is on, I'll watch it.

• 38:19Speaker 05

  Seriously?

• 38:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, because your character in that is funny in a way, because I'm such a comedy nerd, I'm like, this is a little different. I'm trying to think of who else has been funny in this way. It feels very original to me to be playing that rhythm, uh, on a sitcom. It just felt unique to me. You feel like there's some precedence for it?

• 38:40Speaker 05

  Well, yeah, I was, I was, I was borrowing, um, or honoring, uh, parts of it, uh, from Ted Danson.

• 38:46Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 38:47Speaker 05

  You know?

• 38:47Conan O'Brien?

  From Cheers.

• 38:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 38:48Conan O'Brien?

  But it's darker.

• 38:50Speaker 05

  It is darker.

• 38:51Conan O'Brien?

  Sam had to be somewhat likeable.

• 38:53Speaker 05

  Of course.

• 38:53Conan O'Brien?

  That didn't seem to trouble your character at all, being likeable, you know, like, he, he's, there's, you still like your character.

• 39:01Speaker 05

  Right, right, right.

• 39:01Conan O'Brien?

  You're not afraid to say the most horrendous things.

• 39:05Speaker 05

  Right, because I, I, I, I had confidence that, that, that whatever that they, that my character would wind up doing, that they, he would ultimately always be forgiven.

• 39:14Conan O'Brien?

  I've watched the blocking on that show. I think you burn four calories an episode. You're always very comfortably dressed.

• 39:22Speaker 05

  Right.

• 39:22Conan O'Brien?

  And you're always usually sitting one leg crossed over the other with a beer. And then other people can melt, have complete meltdowns.

• 39:32Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 39:32Conan O'Brien?

  Or John can have a complete meltdown. You're watching, you've got some great jokes.

• 39:37Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 39:38Conan O'Brien?

  Then cut to you in bed with an incredibly different, beautiful woman every week. And you're like, wait a minute, did you win some kind of contest?

• 39:45Speaker 05

  Must have. Must have, yes, yeah. No, that's, that's, that's an aspect to it that nobody complained about.

• 39:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:54Speaker 05

  The actors or the audience.

• 39:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 39:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, and interestingly enough, I, I, I was either married or in some relationship. No, it was only two relationships during the entirety of Two and a Half. It was either with Denise, married, and then that went bad, and then Brooke, married, and then that went bad. So anybody who see me dating on the show is just on the show.

• 40:17Conan O'Brien?

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:18Speaker 05

  Which kind of sucked.

• 40:21Conan O'Brien?

  I love that you're acting like, I know it's hard to believe, but I didn't actually sleep with that woman in that scene. That's usually the case.

• 40:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 40:29Conan O'Brien?

  This is gonna be hard for you to believe, but I've interviewed thousands and thousands of women over 30 years of television. And guess what? I didn't sleep with any of them.

• 40:36Speaker 05

  Seriously? Wow, how is that, how is that possible?

• 40:41Conan O'Brien?

  Thanks, pal.

• 40:42Speaker 05

  Hey, sorry.

• 40:42Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, be Arthur.

• 40:46Speaker 05

  Wow, wow, you brought be into it.

• 40:48Conan O'Brien?

  I had to.

• 40:49Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 40:49Conan O'Brien?

  I had to.

• 40:50Speaker 05

  You mentioned that you watch it whenever it's on, right? You know who else does? My parents.

• 40:55Conan O'Brien?

  Your parents?

• 40:56Speaker 05

  My parents will, will stop what they're doing, and if they've finished dinner, or they're about, then Two and a Half is on, they'll just sit down.

• 41:03Conan O'Brien?

  That's fantastic.

• 41:04Speaker 05

  And they'll just take it in, and then I'll show up at the house the next day, right? They'll be like, hey, we watched this episode where so-and-so does this, and then the kid did that, and then, so what? Why did John do that other thing? And I'm like, Mom, uh, I, I, I don't, I can't answer that question. I don't remember the episode. You know what I'm saying? They want specific details.

• 41:24Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I know.

• 41:24Speaker 05

  You know what I'm saying? And I, and I, and I'm like, okay, give me a little bit of backstory. And all the backstories are identical. You know what I'm saying? Uh, it's, it's the week you threw John out of the house. I'm like, I need... I'm like, I need more. I need, I need more, mom.

• 41:43Conan O'Brien?

  You're, you're slightly, uh, yeah, unpleasant. You're skeptical that something John's trying to do is going to work out.

• 41:51Speaker 05

  Right, and you're drunk in the scene.

• 41:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:55Conan O'Brien?

  You immediately throw one woman over for another. What happened in that episode?

• 42:01Conan O'Brien?

  I really like watching you and John cry.

• 42:03Speaker 05

  Oh, thank you.

• 42:04Conan O'Brien?

  In scenes together. There's a really nice, real chemistry there.

• 42:09Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 42:10Conan O'Brien?

  And I know, I was happy, cause I'm friendly with John, and I know that you guys went through stuff.

• 42:16Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 42:16Conan O'Brien?

  And, um, that could not have been easy for John.

• 42:19Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 42:20Conan O'Brien?

  I was very happy that he participated.

• 42:22Speaker 05

  I was too.

• 42:23Conan O'Brien?

  Because.

• 42:23Speaker 05

  I was too, yeah.

• 42:24Conan O'Brien?

  It felt like, uh, there was a bit of a, let's put that behind us, let's come together. Which I thought was.

• 42:31Speaker 05

  For the most part, there was.

• 42:32Conan O'Brien?

  For the most part.

• 42:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, absolutely, yeah.

• 42:34Conan O'Brien?

  When you say for the most part, who's, who is.

• 42:36Speaker 05

  Because there's a couple moments in the, in the doc where he's still kinda hacking on me a little bit, you know? And then he's questioning, like, if he should be in the doc, because, you know, is it gonna be another Sheen, experience that starts great and finishes in the toilet, you know?

• 42:52Conan O'Brien?

  Right, right.

• 42:52Speaker 05

  So, uh, I proved him wrong this time.

• 42:55Conan O'Brien?

  Have you, though? Cause I, many people consider coming on this podcast to be a, a rock bottom.

• 43:02Speaker 05

  That's a good point.

• 43:03Conan O'Brien?

  And by the way, I went through all of your experiences, both in the book and the doc.

• 43:06Speaker 05

  Right.

• 43:07Conan O'Brien?

  This is your rock bottom.

• 43:08Speaker 05

  Okay, okay.

• 43:09Conan O'Brien?

  This beats you going to your, the trunk of your car for a MI-1533.

• 43:14Speaker 05

  Twenty-eight, thirty.

• 43:17Conan O'Brien?

  Twenty-three, what is it, thirty-six? So, whatever, I, it was a different time. When you watch 60's movies, that joke about women's measurements all the time that people did back then? What is it? She's twenty-four, thirty? I forget how it goes.

• 43:28Speaker 05

  Thirty-six, twenty, thirty-six.

• 43:29Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, whatever.

• 43:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:31Conan O'Brien?

  And you're like, what? You watch it now, and it's just a standard thing, like, she's thirty-six, you know, twenty-four, thirty-six.

• 43:39Conan O'Brien?

  You're like, you're listing the, her bust and hip measurements? What? Um, I never, I've never understood it, uh, clearly.

• 43:49Speaker 05

  There doesn't need to be math in that moment. You know?

• 43:53Conan O'Brien?

  You're taking what should be a beautiful moment and reducing it to Geometry. To ratios. The ratio of hip to breast is quite pleasing. It's the golden mean the Greeks discussed. The Thagorrian theorem.

• 44:11Conan O'Brien?

  Your Emilio is not in and your dad's not in, is that, uh, do you, I think you mentioned at one point, you wish they were in the doc, but it, they maybe felt like they don't want to speak to all of this. I don't know.

• 44:25Speaker 05

  They watched a, um, a rough cut of the first episode at my house with the director, Andrew Renzi, Ramon was there, uh, mom was there and, and, and they loved it. They were so entertained, they were laughing, they were just like, they were so engaged. And then they both said, you know, dad said, I'm already in this thing. I'm already represented in this thing and I, and I like the way I look in that better than today. He says, he said, you don't want the

• 44:55Conan O'Brien?

  Such an actor thing.

• 44:56Speaker 05

  He said, you don't want the old version of me, you know? I'm like, well, kind of, I mean, well, you know, it's, that's the authentic moment right now.

• 45:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 45:03Speaker 05

  And so, so he said, no, no, no, I, I, I can't. And then Emilio, they both decided that, that, or came to a realization that they, it was my story. And, and even though they're, they're, you know, part of my life, obviously the whole journey, um, they didn't want to get in the way of my story. They didn't want to, um, in any way, uh, put it through their own filters or, or in, in, in ways that might misrepresent some of the stuff, how it actually happened, you know? They didn't, they didn't want to get in the way. But of course the press jumps on it and they're like, they're not in it. What's the backstory? What's the feud? You know, um, and there, there's like none.

• 45:42Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I, uh, I, your dad is a very special place in my heart because early on, when I was doing my show in 93, 94, and people were saying, what is this? Who is this guy? This comedy is aggressively strange. We had a bit where it's very hard to explain, but it was stay in your seat theater where we would. It's already funny. It's already funny. Well, we would have, we, we needed a, someone with gravitas, um, who would, I think it was a medical drama. And we needed an actor who, a guest who would be the medical drama. But what happened is we had other actors with green screen, um, sort of felt over their faces, moving to different positions. And then when their line came up,

• 46:24Conan O'Brien?

  we would take someone from the audience, literally a person who had been waiting in line outside Rockford Center, 20 minutes ago, their face would suddenly be put on the actor's bodies. They're just sitting in their seat. Do you remember, I don't know if anyone's seen this, but you, they would project it. It's early, early aggressively weird stuff. Your dad said he'd do it. And so, I mean, we never thought Martin Sheen would do this. He'd be the superimposed face? No, no, he, he was the actual guy. He's Martin Sheen as the doctor. And then he'd turn to another doctor and go, what's the diagnosis? And we'd be a, just a, you know, a body there with the green sock on. And then someone from the audience who's just sitting in their seat, who's from the Bronx,

• 47:07Conan O'Brien?

  their face would be there doing a scene and they would just, we'd hold up a cue card and it'd say, "Three cc's of palahoma samazone." And your dad would go like, "Great." And then one more thing, "I'm in love with you," you know, and your dad just went for it. Did he commit to it the whole thing? I mean, of course he did. Wow. He committed to it a thousand percent. That's amazing. And, um, I, he was lovely to me and we had a great conversation and, uh, I've always just had a, that is, just a, I mean, who does that? Especially with his stature, you know? What, this new guy? Something that's bound to fail? Let's do it. Sign me up.

• 47:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, exactly. So, uh, well, I'm, I'm glad that you guys are, and you talk about this. I didn't realize that Emilio was the first choice for, that Oliver Stone wanted for Platoon. Interesting, right? Yeah. Interesting isn't the word. I know, I know. Um, it's, hmm.

• 48:04Speaker 05

  Bananas?

• 48:07Conan O'Brien?

  Let's go with interesting. Let's not use a fruit.

• 48:11Conan O'Brien?

  But no, it, I mean, first of all, stuff between siblings and brothers especially, I think, can be, and I shouldn't say that, sisters too, but stuff between brothers is extremely loaded.

• 48:24Speaker 05

  Right.

• 48:24Conan O'Brien?

  Then you're both saying, let's do this acting thing. You're, you know, Emilio's first having success. Then there's this, what turns out to be a very important film, very important big director, and Emilio's their first choice. He's gonna do it.

• 48:39Speaker 05

  Right.

• 48:39Conan O'Brien?

  And then something happens, the project gets delayed, and then they come around and they say, well, Charlie Oliver wants to see you for it now.

• 48:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:49Conan O'Brien?

  How heavy is that?

• 48:50Speaker 05

  Um, it's, man, it's, it's a trip. Um, Emilio and I like never had that moment where we like sat down and processed it, or even gave it the, you know, it never existed between us that we felt that we needed to, you know?

• 49:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 49:09Speaker 05

  Because it wasn't like that, that didn't work out for him, and then he did nothing.

• 49:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 49:13Speaker 05

  You know, he, he did a ton of cool shit in films that people are still talking about to this day, you know?

• 49:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 49:20Speaker 05

  You know, I didn't mean to speak for him, but he told me that he didn't love the script. He didn't love the script. And then, um, if you ever have him on, there's a story with him and Tom Cruise, like jogging on the beach. That's already a great image, isn't it?

• 49:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 49:34Speaker 05

  Slow motion, the whole thing. And they're talking about the script of Platoon. They're kind of comparing notes, and Emilio's like, well, what about this thing? What about when he, you know, and then when the bunny character pees in the, in the dead VC's face and calls him this thing, you know, and like, what about all that? And Tom's like, yeah, man, that's pretty gnarly. And, and so it, I don't think-

• 49:55Conan O'Brien?

  How about we, us losing the Vietnam War? That's a drag.

• 49:59Speaker 05

  That part, yeah.

• 49:59Conan O'Brien?

  We should win it.

• 50:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:03Speaker 05

  But, so, I don't- I don't think Emilio really felt like he missed out on and a fantastic opportunity, which is interesting until he saw it and was like, oh shit, but I think he sees that it it's it just would have been a slightly different film with him than it was with me because that is, I think that is the only part that we've we've ever, uh, what's the cross swords on? No, that's not right. Um, what is the thing?

• 50:31Conan O'Brien?

  It's the image in my head now. No changing that.

• 50:36Speaker 05

  It's the only, uh, role that that ever, uh,

• 50:40Conan O'Brien?

  Where your penis is touched.

• 50:41Speaker 05

  Our penis is touched, yes, yes.

• 50:43Conan O'Brien?

  I'm trying to help you. Am I helping?

• 50:45Speaker 05

  At the premiere. Um, so what the hell? Um, that's not in the doc, is it? Jesus. I wanted to save something good for this, you know? Sorry, Emilio. Now I've done it.

• 51:11Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 51:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:14Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 51:28Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 51:29Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 51:37Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 51:42Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love.

• 51:45Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:46Conan O'Brien?

  Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 52:01Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 52:02Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona.

• 52:04Speaker 01

  It's done!

• 52:05Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty, it's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 52:35Conan O'Brien?

  Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?

• 52:40Speaker 01

  My kids.

• 52:40Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, you gotta get them your stuff.

• 52:41Speaker 01

  Or my dog.

• 52:42Conan O'Brien?

  And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year, you feel that, you smell that, uh, that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?

• 52:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:52Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. A little early to buy a turkey. Doesn't matter. Holidays? I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's, uh, very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season. Shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.

• 53:28Conan O'Brien?

  Technology can generate salary recommendations in seconds, but building an offer that lands skilled talent? That takes more than just an estimate you came up with.

• 53:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're right.

• 53:38Conan O'Brien?

  That's where Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide can help.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 53:42Conan O'Brien?

  Did we use a salary guide with you, Sona?

• 53:44Speaker 01

  Uh, no, but maybe-

• 53:45Conan O'Brien?

  For several years, I just gave you groceries, remember?

• 53:47Speaker 01

  I know, yeah, I remember that. That was not good.

• 53:50Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, well, anyway, now you got Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide. As a staffing firm placing talent every day, Robert Half combines compensation data with the experience of local recruiters. You can hire with the confidence that comes from experience. The new Robert Half Salary Guide is here. Visit roberthalf.com/salaryguide.

• 54:14Conan O'Brien?

  Well, this is another story that's fascinating. You give a verbal commitment or you sign a contract to do Grizzly 2 Revenge?

• 54:21Speaker 05

  Right, it was originally called Grizzly 2: The Predator.

• 54:24Conan O'Brien?

  Uh huh.

• 54:25Speaker 05

  Just for anybody, any cinephiles out there that think I'm violating the, you know, the true spirit of the Grizzly franchise.

• 54:33Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I'm just gonna tell you-

• 54:35Speaker 05

  I'm besmirching the great-

• 54:37Conan O'Brien?

  Matt Gourley saw Grizzly 2 Revenge in the theater 75 times.

• 54:41Speaker 06

  I'll thank you to respect the sanctity of my favorite film series. Regardless of whether you were in it.

• 54:48Conan O'Brien?

  I'm outta here.

• 54:49Speaker 05

  I move to dismiss.

• 54:50Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Motion denied.

• 54:55Conan O'Brien?

  But you know, you, this is the crazy story. So you've said, yes, I'll do Grizzly 2 Revenge, which by the way, um, also, uh, stars, uh, George Clooney and, um,

• 55:07Speaker 05

  Laura Dern.

• 55:07Conan O'Brien?

  Laura Dern. So there are a lot of great talent came out of Grizzly 2. And the bear has gone on to,

• 55:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, he has.

• 55:13Conan O'Brien?

  Now the, uh, yeah.

• 55:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's got that whole, that whole honey company.

• 55:18Speaker 05

  That's stupid. That was stupid.

• 55:20Conan O'Brien?

  He's the Paul Newman of honey.

• 55:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:25Conan O'Brien?

  All profits go to me. Uh, but you know, you say you're gonna do that, and then you get this call that they want you to be the star of The Karate Kid.

• 55:35Speaker 05

  That happened, yes.

• 55:36Conan O'Brien?

  And, take it.

• 55:37Speaker 05

  Uh, so I, uh, I think it was on a Friday and, um, and I went and I, I auditioned with, um, with Abelson, correct?

• 55:48Conan O'Brien?

  Mm-hmm.

• 55:49Speaker 05

  We have a research team here? Yeah, with John Abelson. Yeah. And

• 55:53Conan O'Brien?

  We don't.

• 55:53Speaker 05

  I, I thought the, the, uh, audition was a disaster.

• 55:56Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 55:57Speaker 05

  And it was the scene where he wakes up from the beating of the bullies, right? And he wakes up, um, to his, to this, you know, his mystical sensei, right? And so to Pat Morita.

• 56:09Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 56:09Speaker 05

  And then, um, the dialogue was kinda stilted and didn't really have any kinda flow. And like it did in that scene, but it's not supposed to. That's kinda their first encounter, isn't it?

• 56:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yeah.

• 56:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 56:21Conan O'Brien?

  So there should be a little tentative awkwardness, yeah.

• 56:24Speaker 05

  Yeah. And I thought I tanked it and, and I, on the drive home, I was like, alright, let's just park that and just do better next time, you know? And I get to Glennis Liberty's apartment in Santa Monica. She's my very first agent, right? Who actually got her agent's license because I decided that like, I was gonna become an actor.

• 56:41Conan O'Brien?

  Wow.

• 56:41Speaker 05

  You know, and she was a friend of my mom's, but she worked for Pollock and Redford and, you know, she knew her way around. And so, um, we, we would usually have like a chalk talk at the end of the day of auditions and stuff like that. And, and she was on the street like looking for me and I thought somebody had died. And I pull up and she like runs right up to me and, and, and she's like crying and, and babbling and, and just so excited. I couldn't believe it. And I'm like, slow down, slow down, slow down. What's going on? And she said, they, they, they, they need you in, in karate training on Monday.

• 57:14Conan O'Brien?

  You've got the part.

• 57:15Speaker 05

  Well, I'm like, well, hold on. Today's Friday. So, and she's like, yes. You, you, dude, you're gonna be the Karate Kid. It's like the biggest film in town, right? And I'm like, ah, okay. But I have to, um, I got the thing with the bear. I got, I got the predator thing.

• 57:31Conan O'Brien?

  And where is that shooting? That shooting in Budapest?

• 57:33Speaker 05

  Budapest, yeah. And not like when it's cool to be in Budapest, you know? Um, and so she said, well, I'm sure there's, you know, I'm sure there's a way to get you out of that and, and, and, you know, what should I tell them? And I said, I just tell them that maybe if we could just have the weekend, you know? So I took the weekend and went to dad and I said, hey, I got this amazing opportunity, like a career making move, this giant movie that I think is, you know, it's, it's got hit written all over it, you know, it's a game changer. And he says, and I said, um, so help me out, give, give me like a cool way to, to, to get out of the grizzly thing. And he didn't even, he didn't even offer anything in, in, in that regard. He, he just said, well, so you gave them your word, right? And I'm like,

• 58:15Conan O'Brien?

  The grizzly people, yeah.

• 58:16Speaker 05

  I'm like, well, yeah, but it's the thing with the bear in Budapest. It's, it's, it's totally forgettable. Anyone can get eaten by a bear, dad, right? And, uh, he's like, he's like,

• 58:28Conan O'Brien?

  I, I narrowly beat out a side of ham.

• 58:33Speaker 05

  Exactly. And he said, it's not about that. It's not about that. It's about that, you, you, you know, um, one big film, um, is in this business is not gonna carry you as far as, you know, being known as, as, as a man of their word. So I had to sell that to Glenys, you know? And she was like, yeah, have you lost your mind? And then after a while she agreed with Pop. And so,

• 59:00Conan O'Brien?

  Now, how was it when Karate Kid comes out and it's huge? Um, was, that must've stung a little bit?

• 59:07Speaker 05

  A lot of it.

• 59:07Conan O'Brien?

  Did you go and,

• 59:08Speaker 05

  A lot of it, yeah.

• 59:09Conan O'Brien?

  Did you go and see it in the theater with the bear?

• 59:12Conan O'Brien?

  I picture both of you.

• 59:13Speaker 06

  Oh, you fucked up.

• 59:18Conan O'Brien?

  It's just got a big paw.

• 59:19Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 59:20Conan O'Brien?

  You're taking more than your share. You're, you're splitting up.

• 59:23Speaker 06

  They offered me the part of Miyagi.

• 59:26Conan O'Brien?

  The bear could have been Miyagi. This is great. The bear was supposed to be Miyagi. You were supposed to be Ralph Macchio. The whole thing's fucked.

• 59:34Speaker 05

  Oh my god.

• 59:35Conan O'Brien?

  But he went with, "Oh, everyone just sees me as the thing that chases people and eats things. Cause I'm a bear." Um, but anyway.

• 59:42Speaker 05

  I saw in the movie theater, like on a Friday night, um, and it was interesting. It was, um, it was a strange mashup of, of intense jealousy, right? And missed opportunity, all that stuff, but add to that relief. There was a relief and I don't know how to explain what that was about. I think Ralph was so freaking good in that movie, right?

• 1:00:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 1:00:08Speaker 05

  That I was looking at ways like would I have, how would I have done that differently? How would I have done that at all?

• 1:00:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:14Speaker 05

  And I was kinda like, okay, I think I kinda dodged a bullet here. I don't think they would have filmed the whole movie with me.

• 1:00:20Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 1:00:21Speaker 05

  I think it would have been like, uh, okay, cool. No, you gave it a hell of an effort, kid. But, you know.

• 1:00:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:27Conan O'Brien?

  But also, um, I've had that experience at my age now where I can look back. The things that I missed out on, that I was convinced were essential.

• 1:00:39Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:00:39Conan O'Brien?

  To me moving ahead, that devastated me at the time.

• 1:00:43Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 1:00:44Conan O'Brien?

  Now, I see them and I go, well, they don't fit this arc that I have at all.

• 1:00:48Speaker 05

  Interesting.

• 1:00:49Conan O'Brien?

  They just don't.

• 1:00:50Speaker 05

  Interesting, yeah.

• 1:00:50Conan O'Brien?

  And, um, you could not, if I got in a time machine, on my way here today, there was some street work. So I had to pass my old apartment on Cochrane. I had a $380 a month apartment, 1986. I lived on the first floor, way in the back. I looked out on an alley. And I passed that apartment. I always slow down if I'm in that neighborhood and look at that apartment.

• 1:01:11Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:01:12Conan O'Brien?

  Because it was gonna sound weird, but I almost feel like there's, there's a ghost of me from 1985. It's, I used to sit on the steps of those apartment, of that apartment complex and think like, how am I gonna make this thing work? I don't know.

• 1:01:26Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:01:27Conan O'Brien?

  And so every now and then I'm like, I'm on my way to go talk to Charlie Sheen and I've had a pretty good run. But I'll stop and sort of honor that moment at that apartment. At that time, if you, if I could talk to that guy now and say, trust me, the gig that you, where it's between you and another guy to go work, be a writer performer for Letterman, and you didn't get it. And they only hire like one person every three years and that you're not going to be on that boat. I still think that kid would have said, you're out of your mind. That was my chance and it's over. I'm not going to make it.

• 1:01:58Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:01:59Conan O'Brien?

  And I've had like nine of those, you know, and but you, but then you look at it later on and you go, no, you weren't supposed to do Karate Kid.

• 1:02:07Speaker 05

  Wasn't supposed to happen. No, no. And, and.

• 1:02:10Conan O'Brien?

  Cause that trajectory, that choice changes other choices. So then you're not going to get Platoon. You're not going to get.

• 1:02:15Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 1:02:16Conan O'Brien?

  You're not going to get Wall Street. You're not going to get, none of those things happen if you do.

• 1:02:20Speaker 05

  Probably not. Probably not. And, you know, following like that amazing in theater experience with, you know, the Karate Kid as we know it, I didn't work for like eight months after that. And then I started writing stories about, okay, gosh, maybe they've, maybe they've tried to blackball me because I said, no, they're big, you know, they're big event, franchise film, you know? Yeah, it, it, it just so that sort of compounded the, the, you know, the funk that, that, that left me in, you know?

• 1:02:55Conan O'Brien?

  And you did contemplate like, I could be a cinematographer. I could be an A D, like I could get into this business in another way if this doesn't work out.

• 1:03:03Speaker 05

  That was more really, because I had done all of those jobs in our super eight world. You know, I'm not saying I did them well. But I had enough knowledge about, you know, what, what happened on both sides of the camera, you know? And that was sort of the pitch to my parents at the, at the breakfast table that first morning of summer. After, you know, being kicked out of high school, I, I kind of sold them on this thing and it's in the book.

• 1:03:33Speaker 05

  I don't know if it's in the doc, but I said, look. I'm gonna give the acting thing a shot, you know, I'm just gonna spend this first summer of freedom, just auditioning and just see where that takes me. If that doesn't work out, then, the kind of the, not a big lie, but the medium sized lie that I told them was that I'll, uh, I'll go to film school, and I'll learn how to, you know, I'll be an editor, or director, or cinematographer, and, you know, and so I just wanted them to feel like there was, there was a backup plan, that, that, that wasn't, um, the same one that, that dad had struggled with for so long in his early years, you know?

• 1:04:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:14Speaker 05

  Um, and they bought it. They bought it, you know, they thought, okay, yeah.

• 1:04:19Conan O'Brien?

  He wants to be a botanist. Um, did, uh, oh, you, you also, and you talk about this, you had to sell your, your dad on changing your name.

• 1:04:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:04:30Conan O'Brien?

  Which was a moment.

• 1:04:31Speaker 05

  It was a moment, yeah. Um, and I just, um, you know.

• 1:04:35Conan O'Brien?

  Your original name?

• 1:04:36Speaker 05

  Carlos Estevez.

• 1:04:37Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 1:04:38Speaker 05

  But Carlos had already been Charlie from, in, throughout childhood.

• 1:04:41Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 1:04:42Speaker 05

  Uh, because we've, uh, had, uh, an uncle Carlos, dad's brother. And so, someone would be, you know, "Hey Carlos", and we'd both, like, come in the room, and that, you know, we had to put a stop to that, right?

• 1:04:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:52Speaker 05

  There's only room for one Carlos.

• 1:04:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:54Speaker 05

  And, and seniority rules in that moment, yeah. So, I became Charlie, and then I was Estevez all the way through high school, and then when I made the change, or when I decided to, to, to give this thing a shot, I, I sat with them and I said, "I, I really wanna use Sheen. It's got a bit of ring to it. You know, Emilio's already using Estevez", and that way, you've, you've, you've got both bookends of your heritage, uh,

• 1:05:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:17Speaker 05

  represented out in the world, you know?

• 1:05:19Conan O'Brien?

  God, you're a good salesman.

• 1:05:19Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 1:05:20Conan O'Brien?

  You are so good.

• 1:05:21Speaker 05

  I'm in the wrong business.

• 1:05:22Conan O'Brien?

  Well, you and I should start an advertising agency.

• 1:05:24Speaker 05

  I'd love to. I would love to, yeah.

• 1:05:28Conan O'Brien?

  I just, uh, I just, uh, yeah, and I meant, you say to your dad, like, "I can see it in lights, Pop."

• 1:05:32Speaker 05

  Right, exactly.

• 1:05:34Conan O'Brien?

  Charlie Sheen, you weren't wrong, you know, but...

• 1:05:36Speaker 05

  I mean, I, I, I just, I, it was, plus it was easier to say.

• 1:05:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:41Speaker 05

  You know?

• 1:05:41Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:42Speaker 05

  "What's your name? I'm Charlie Sheen." Even though when I walked in here, it stumped me.

• 1:05:48Speaker 05

  And that's like on camera. That's gonna be on like YouTube.

• 1:05:52Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I know, I know, you're screwed, you're screwed.

• 1:05:54Speaker 05

  Hi, my name is...

• 1:05:55Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I'm... I don't want to take all your time, I'm gonna say this. First of all, you said you wanted to hand me something.

• 1:06:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:01Conan O'Brien?

  But I don't know if you still do, maybe you changed your mind.

• 1:06:03Speaker 05

  I know, I absolutely did not change my mind. Um, you and I had a banter that I think ran, that ran over the course of a couple years.

• 1:06:11Conan O'Brien?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:06:12Speaker 05

  And it was during Spin City, remember I was on the Zone Diet and I was like, super thin? And like, eating nothing.

• 1:06:18Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 1:06:18Speaker 05

  But I had this thing on Friday nights that was a treat to myself that was called the McFlurry. Do you remember this?

• 1:06:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 1:06:24Speaker 05

  And we had, we had great runs about that.

• 1:06:26Conan O'Brien?

  We had, yes, the McFlurry was important to us.

• 1:06:28Speaker 05

  Yes. And then you said, you, you'd always say, "Well, has McDonald's reached out and, and, and like, offered you free food for life or anything great like that?" I'm like, "No."

• 1:06:36Conan O'Brien?

  Unbelievable.

• 1:06:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, and then you would make jokes like, "Uh, well, why are you out here talking about McFlurry? Why aren't you saying, uh, names like, uh, Portia?" And, uh...

• 1:06:45Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:06:45Speaker 05

  "Ed's Diamond Store."

• 1:06:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes.

• 1:06:49Speaker 05

  So, shortly after that, this shows up in the mail, like, no joke. The guy from Arby's. The guy from Arby's.

• 1:06:58Conan O'Brien?

  Bill Arby?

• 1:07:00Speaker 05

  You know him?

• 1:07:01Conan O'Brien?

  Very soon.

• 1:07:03Speaker 05

  He sent me that.

• 1:07:04Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god.

• 1:07:05Speaker 05

  An Arby's free food for life card.

• 1:07:08Conan O'Brien?

  What?

• 1:07:08Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:07:09Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know if we can push in on that, or, you know, yes, this is...

• 1:07:13Speaker 05

  And it's signed on the back.

• 1:07:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Uh...

• 1:07:16Speaker 05

  I've been carrying that around for like 20 years.

• 1:07:19Conan O'Brien?

  I love that you have this, and also...

• 1:07:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, and you're the reason I have it.

• 1:07:23Conan O'Brien?

  You're welcome. You're welcome. And can I say one thing? This...

• 1:07:30Conan O'Brien?

  I wanna know, would you go to Arby's and order everything, and then, when they go, "Wow, so cool to meet you," "Oh, and by the way, I'm not gay."

• 1:07:41Conan O'Brien?

  And you're, you're driving like the nicest car in the world.

• 1:07:44Speaker 05

  Oh, man.

• 1:07:44Conan O'Brien?

  You know.

• 1:07:45Speaker 05

  Here, here, here's the good news. I've never used it. I've never used it.

• 1:07:50Conan O'Brien?

  No offense to Arby's, but you're a busy guy.

• 1:07:52Speaker 05

  No, I, I love Arby's. I think Arby's, it hasn't changed in years and that's a good thing. That's a good, they do have the meats. But, um, I, I just, I, I imagined.

• 1:08:04Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:04Speaker 05

  There'd be a line behind me and just what you said, and the guy brings all the stuff. And I'm like, well, I got this thing. And then he's like, okay, well, there's some paperwork.

• 1:08:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 1:08:12Speaker 05

  Right?

• 1:08:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 1:08:13Speaker 05

  And then I'm like filling stuff out. People are recognizing me.

• 1:08:17Conan O'Brien?

  TMZ is shooting it, yeah.

• 1:08:19Speaker 05

  Right, and they're like, uh.

• 1:08:20Conan O'Brien?

  And then he's like, what, uh, so that's two shakes, three roast beefs.

• 1:08:26Speaker 05

  Like in bananas.

• 1:08:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, exactly. Who had the, uh, yeah.

• 1:08:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, so I've never used it, but I saved it and I don't know, I just had it all these years.

• 1:08:35Conan O'Brien?

  Just hang on to it.

• 1:08:36Speaker 05

  It survived the carnage.

• 1:08:37Conan O'Brien?

  You know where that needs to go? The trunk of your car.

• 1:08:40Speaker 05

  There it is, right next to the, to the BPX 4563.

• 1:08:43Conan O'Brien?

  I've got something you need to see. A gun?

• 1:08:45Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:08:45Conan O'Brien?

  No, you can take the honest road to free Arby's or the dishonest road. We can say this two ways.

• 1:08:52Conan O'Brien?

  I rob you of these corned beef sandwiches? Or, or I get them for free.

• 1:08:56Speaker 05

  Either way, I'm leaving here. Either way, I'm leaving here with the meats.

• 1:09:00Conan O'Brien?

  Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen, this is what I'll say. This is one of my favorite sessions and I mean, it's up there in the pantheon. You always, since I first met you, a delight to talk to, a really funny person.

• 1:09:14Speaker 05

  Thank you, likewise.

• 1:09:14Conan O'Brien?

  You have been very honest about your struggles and the craziness and, you know, I went downstairs and you got here and I just, I told you, we hugged and I said, I'm really glad you're still here.

• 1:09:26Speaker 05

  Wow, thank you.

• 1:09:27Conan O'Brien?

  Because, um, we lose all these people. We lose these beautiful people. We lose these really funny, wonderful, and people, we lose so many people.

• 1:09:37Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 1:09:37Conan O'Brien?

  And, um, I'm just, uh, very grateful that you're, you're still with us.

• 1:09:42Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 1:09:42Conan O'Brien?

  And, um, go, go with God. What the hell was that?

• 1:09:49Speaker 06

  You're very religious today.

• 1:09:51Conan O'Brien?

  It was powerful. We'll change it.

• 1:09:55Conan O'Brien?

  Go with Satan. Satan. Go with Satan.

• 1:10:00Conan O'Brien?

  I already went with Satan. Satan's like, enough with him. He wouldn't, he moved in and wouldn't leave. Go with Arby's. Go with Arby's. Yeah. Charlie, seriously, thank you so much for being here. Thank you. This was great. It's an honor.

• 1:10:17Speaker 06

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 1:10:37Speaker 06

  Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

• 1:11:27Speaker 07

  Hey, that's me, Teddy Swims. You hear that? That's life. So go grab it. Grab your old friends, grab new friends, grab a White Claw. Grab flavor for everyone in your crew. Grab music, laughter, and moments you'll never forget. You'll never regret it.

• 1:11:46Speaker 02

  Oh, hey, man.

• 1:11:47Speaker 07

  Grab new friends, grab old friends, grab life. By The Glow, White Claw. Please drink responsibly. White Claw Celtic Works, Chicago, Illinois.

• 1:11:58Conan O'Brien?

  When you hear Alka Seltzer, you'll probably think heartburn, right?

• 1:12:00Speaker 07

  Yep.

• 1:12:01Conan O'Brien?

  Well, did you know Alka Seltzer has a line of cold and flu medications known as Alka Seltzer Cold?

• 1:12:07Speaker 07

  Ooh.

• 1:12:07Conan O'Brien?

  Did you know that, David?

• 1:12:08Speaker 07

  No, but I feel like we need it.

• 1:12:09Conan O'Brien?

  Why didn't you know that, David?

• 1:12:10Speaker 07

  I know, you expect me to know everything.

• 1:12:12Conan O'Brien?

  I knew this.

• 1:12:13Speaker 07

  Did you?

• 1:12:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I've tried it, it's really good. And I like that fizzy, fizzy, fizzy when you drop the Alka Seltzer Cold into the water.

• 1:12:20Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:12:20Conan O'Brien?

  Alka Seltzer Cold: Fast Dissolves Tablets are designed to deliver cold and flu relief, fast! Just drop the two tablets in water and hear those bubbles bursting into action, ready to work faster than pills. Bubbles faster than pills. Pills take time to dissolve, not bubbles. Next time a cold or flu strikes, quick! Alka Seltzer Cold: Nothing works faster for cold and flu symptom relief. Among oral products, use as directed.