Is Christina Still The Garbage Queen? w/ H. Foley & Kevin Ryan | Your Mom's House Ep. 878

Salt Lake City Pootah, the Main Mommy herself will be in you on October 9th and 10th as Wiseguys comedy club! Make sure to get your tickets at https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates SPONSORS: Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. Join Wayfair Rewards today and get five percent back on every purchase. Head to https://Wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home. Get $80 off your first month with promo code SPACE80 at https://Talkspace.com Christina P holds down the Mommy Dome with H. Foley and Kevin Ryan of Are You Garbage, and the boys show up ready to smoke indoors. Christina gives a full status report on the divorce diet, back on heaters after twenty years, white wine in the pool, sparkling rosé on weekends, one thin-crust Domino's Supreme a day, then demands to know if she's still the reigning Garbage Queen or if Jordan Jensen has taken the belt. From there: the locked drawer of Marlboro Lights with American Spirits on backup, the $228 Walmart pool that ruined a surgeon's view, whether a bedroom water cooler and coffee machine makes you Winston Churchill or a dirtbag, nugget supremacy, wasting good cheese on a burger, the correct way to bag groceries (eggs on the bottom, they build a perfect base), pickling every vegetable in the house, and Christina's $100,000 cat paintings, including a portrait of naked Tom Segura wrestling a bear. Then a full watch-along of M. Night Shyamalan's brand-new YouTube channel, where a man with thirty years of movies takes "a risk" by sitting on a bench next to a tree he planted for his dead dad. This leads directly into kids having taser fights under a bridge, Jackass, Johnny Knoxville, and why nobody in Hollywood ever tells anyone their idea sucks. TikTok Curations: the watermelon puncher, the outfit-of-the-day pervert, the man who cracks walnuts with his fingertips, and a kid crawling under a bathroom stall while a man is actively taking a shit. Plus: the Zac Efron DM remains unanswered, the Batwing, burping the alphabet until you puke, Kevin's $200,000 Hawaii cliffside wedding with a ten-minute set in the vows, and the correct way to reheat a slice. Your Mom’s House Ep. 878 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters00:00:00 - Intro00:00:12 - The Are You Garbage Boys Tackle The Divorce Diet00:08:38 - Is Christina Still The Reigning Garbage Queen?00:15:05 - Opening Clip: Nuggets You've Never Heard Of00:16:43 - Walmart Above-Ground Pool00:19:11 - Nugget Rankings & Wasting Good Cheese00:22:40 - Randall's Takes & Pickling Everything00:27:08 - M. Night Shyamalan's Cool YouTube Channel00:34:08 - Taser Fights Under The Bridge00:36:46 - Jackass, Co-Parenting, & Heater Hypnotist00:44:09 - Christina's TikTok Curations00:48:34 - DM-ing Zac Efron & Naked Bear Art00:54:05 - Back To The Toks01:03:55 - Pizza Hack01:06:49 - Indian Content Corner01:08:49 - Wrap Up01:09:59 - Closing Song - "I'm Taking a Shit Homie" by Ramsay McQueen Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  Welcome, welcome to your mom's house.

• 0:12Speaker 01

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• 0:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Guys, with me, the Are You Garbage team is here. Come on, Foley and Kevin. I'm so fucking glad you guys are here.

• 0:49Speaker 03

  Thanks for having us.

• 0:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yo, hey, let's fucking smoke, dude. Does he have an ashtray? Does Foley need an ashtray?

• 0:54Speaker 03

  He's just one right here.

• 0:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, so basically now that-

• 0:56Speaker 04

  Now there's ash on the floor. You're single now. What are we doing here? Let's go!

• 1:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, I've been engaging in such, such trashier behaviors since-

• 1:06Speaker 03

  Well, you're returning back to your roots, your true roots. You can never shake it. You can never, that's the thing. Money don't change it. Six, you are who you are.

• 1:15Speaker 04

  What are we talking about here?

• 1:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay.

• 1:17Speaker 04

  DiGiorno pizzas? Are we talking about like spring break and-

• 1:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Worse than DiGiorno. Will you tell me, you tell me, is this worse than DiGiorno? So I've been picking up the darts after 20 years of being-

• 1:26Speaker 03

  That's alright. Darts, shigs are coming back in fashion and I think we have a b- We're a very heater-heavy pod and I think we're part, you know, listen, I would take money from Philip Morris immediately. If they cut me a check, and listen, I think, I don't think you should smoke.

• 1:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:41Speaker 03

  I don't think you should smoke. I think it's bad, but if you smoke, I get it.

• 1:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  I get it.

• 1:46Speaker 03

  And smoke your brain.

• 1:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Not only that, like in Europe, they still smoke. Everywhere else in the fucking world. It's so good.

• 1:51Speaker 03

  It's crazy. I saw, I saw a pregnant, well, we were at a wedding and a pregnant woman was just crushing heaters. In Europe. Yeah, and everyone was just like, I'm like-

• 2:00Speaker 04

  Seems okay over there, I don't know why.

• 2:01Speaker 03

  Here, she'd be arrested immediately. Over there was just like, I'm like, okay, I was like, okay, maybe one.

• 2:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Not true.

• 2:07Speaker 03

  I'll let one slide. Although she had a glass of red wine, though.

• 2:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, of course. Have you been to Florida? I've seen pregnant people smoking.

• 2:13Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 2:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Pregnant women in front of movie theaters.

• 2:15Speaker 04

  My mom smoked. I'm fine.

• 2:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, you're fine. You look great.

• 2:18Speaker 04

  I got an A hundred on the SATs. Thank you very much. I appreciate that.

• 2:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  What's going on? Why?

• 2:21Speaker 04

  I did Zepbound.

• 2:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, that's the-

• 2:23Speaker 04

  Been walking a lot, not eating a lot.

• 2:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's all you can do at this age. Just stop eating. You're just gonna stop eating.

• 2:29Speaker 04

  Doesn't do it for me anymore, which sucks. That's the one thing it took away. I have no like, um, comforting thing. Drugs, booze, nothing. It's all gone. I'm a live wire. It's bad news.

• 2:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  So what do you do? What do you mean? You're just white knuckling? Or you want an SSRI of some kind?

• 2:44Speaker 04

  I take Effexor. Is that an SSRI?

• 2:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, good.

• 2:47Speaker 04

  Um, and therapy and meetings and all that stuff. Yeah, brutal. It's worse than the addiction, I'm telling you.

• 2:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 2:54Speaker 04

  Cause you're digging up all this shit, all this stuff. Sucks.

• 2:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Here's what I'm thinking.

• 2:58Speaker 04

  Pretty fucked up.

• 2:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Cause I'm 50 and I'm like-

• 3:00Speaker 04

  So am I.

• 3:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, but I've been like good for so many years. Like, maybe I can just write out the next 20 like this. Just be in a dirtbag?

• 3:08Speaker 04

  You're having heaters and, what do you, what do you-

• 3:10Speaker 03

  But this is a little refined. What are we talking about? You got a Cortado or something in front of you.

• 3:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Is this not bad? I feel like this is terrible. I feel like this is terrible.

• 3:18Speaker 03

  What have you been doing?

• 3:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Ripping darts. Okay, so here's my-

• 3:20Speaker 03

  That's okay.

• 3:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Here's my thing. I'm up to 50mg of Prozac a day. That's what I have for breakfast. Some coffee and then-

• 3:27Speaker 04

  Very 90s of you. I like it.

• 3:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, yeah, and I'm not hungry until noon, which is when, up until recently, I would order one thin crust Domino's Supreme pizza.

• 3:36Speaker 03

  Thin crust from Domino's. I respect the choice.

• 3:39Speaker 04

  Wait, normally, you've been doing that?

• 3:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  For a month, and I've been living in my swimming pool ripping darts. That's all I do. And drink wine. I drink white wine and I rip darts in my pool.

• 3:46Speaker 03

  So you fucking, you won life, is what you're saying? What are you talking about? That's like, I respect it. I, listen, and I haven't seen the pool, but I don't think it's above ground.

• 3:54Speaker 04

  No. Salt water? What do you got? Salt water?

• 3:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, salt water.

• 3:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, it's chlorine because apparently there's not a big diff. But hold on, do you think that DiGiorno's is trashier than Domino's?

• 4:05Speaker 04

  I didn't know you were doing Domino's.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  I'm okay, listen, I'm a big proponent of Domino's.

• 4:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  So am I.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  Domino's has, it has beat Pizza Hut in the recent years. Growing up, Pizza Hut was it, obviously. Pizza Hut ran it.

• 4:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 4:16Speaker 03

  But now they're fucking, Domino's got their shit together.

• 4:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Together, bro.

• 4:19Speaker 04

  So does Papa John's, by the way.

• 4:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, maybe, but do they, do they have a thin crust?

• 4:23Speaker 03

  I think everybody's banging a thin crust nowadays.

• 4:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, that shit shows up so fast.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  It's also, that's, in my head, you're going light on the carbs.

• 4:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  That's like barely even crust.

• 4:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, here's the thing, with my divorce diet, all I do is drink wine, rip darts.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  What kind of wine you doing? Are you doing fancy-pantsy wine?

• 4:40Speaker 04

  Cheap stuff or?

• 4:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  I do, no, I do like to have a Sancerre.

• 4:44Speaker 04

  Oh, Sancerre. Wow, look at you.

• 4:48Speaker 03

  I didn't know we were in the presence of royalty. Oh, course so.

• 4:52Speaker 04

  Is that Jackie Kennedy sitting there, Kippy? Holy shit, a Sancerre. Is he taking a Greek oil tycoon?

• 4:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hold on, don't get too fucking stoked, okay?

• 5:00Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 5:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  And then I do a sparkling rosé on the weekends.

• 5:03Speaker 04

  Jesus Christ.

• 5:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love it. Why, you guys are my friends in real life. It's like, I can't have you on the show and pretend like, anything happening, guys?

• 5:11Speaker 03

  That's what I was gonna do, cause I'm used to not addressing problems or fist fighting. That's the only thing, that's how I know how to handle problems. It's either we don't talk about it or we have to fight now.

• 5:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  You're so white. That's what whites do, yeah?

• 5:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's Irish Catholic repression, don't know how to handle a lot of booze.

• 5:26Speaker 04

  I think we should go back to that, cause I'm being in therapy, all this stuff, digging up all this stuff, I like the 50s. Don't say a word, swallow it, and then die of a heart attack in 50 seconds.

• 5:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  But here's the thing, once you delve into all that therapy, cause I do all that and drink and smoke and do Prozac, it's like, it just makes you wanna do shit more, yeah?

• 5:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's bad news.

• 5:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  So you're walking? Walking's helpful.

• 5:48Speaker 04

  I walk a lot.

• 5:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  I like walking.

• 5:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, walking's good.

• 5:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 5:52Speaker 04

  Walking's good.

• 5:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  What, what were you doing before? Just eating a lot?

• 5:55Speaker 04

  I was eating a lot. I was eating my feelings. I was doing drugs. I was drinking. I was denying, all this stuff. Not moving at all, and now I live in Ian's basement, so I gotta walk a little bit. A little bit of a different situation than what you got going on.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Things are going great. Things are going great over at AYG Studios.

• 6:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sounds like Foley and I are on the same life path.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  I think, yeah, I think your pool's nicer, though.

• 6:17Speaker 04

  Me and my wife are splitting hundreds of dollars.

• 6:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, I heard some really exciting news about you.

• 6:23Speaker 04

  What?

• 6:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Uh, I hear there's an above-ground pool.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  No, that's me.

• 6:27Speaker 04

  That's Kippy.

• 6:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  What?

• 6:28Speaker 03

  Went above ground, baby. $228 from Walmart.

• 6:31Speaker 04

  That's the leader.

• 6:31Speaker 03

  Do we live in a better country than that?

• 6:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 6:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, $228 pool, backyard. Ruin the grass. Neighbors don't like it.

• 6:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 6:39Speaker 03

  But, you know.

• 6:40Speaker 04

  We are who we are.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  I had my best summer. The neighbors were like, real-

• 6:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why would they give a fuck? How could they-

• 6:45Speaker 03

  Cause it's a nice-

• 6:46Speaker 04

  Property value.

• 6:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hold on, you did it in the front yard?

• 6:48Speaker 03

  No, I didn't. I'm not a fucking animal. What the fuck?

• 6:52Speaker 04

  He's grilling out there.

• 6:52Speaker 03

  I'm not Eastern European.

• 6:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  So why do they care if it's in your backyard?

• 6:57Speaker 03

  They don't care, but it's like, you know, you know, I live next to, uh, I live next to a surgeon, so it's like, you know, he's, they, they just like very meticulously curated houses and mine is not. I stay on top of it.

• 7:10Speaker 04

  They're worried about this and that.

• 7:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why are you worried about-

• 7:13Speaker 03

  They didn't complain. It was just more of like, uh, it's an eyesore. It was lopsided.

• 7:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  So?

• 7:18Speaker 03

  You know.

• 7:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can they see into your backyard?

• 7:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  First fucking things first. You gotta-

• 7:22Speaker 03

  Hey, what the heck? Who, that's not me.

• 7:24Speaker 04

  Jesus Christ, what are you guys, the CIA?

• 7:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, that's a nice one, though.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  It turned green a bunch. I had a shock at a couple of times. I lost the pool.

• 7:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude!

• 7:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, look at it.

• 7:37Speaker 04

  It's like ectocoude.

• 7:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, uh, yeah, it was, it was a bumpy summer, but it was fun. It was great.

• 7:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  But that's nice. That's a big one. What is that?

• 7:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's 14 feet.

• 7:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's a huge one.

• 7:48Speaker 03

  What are you talking about? Stop it.

• 7:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's huge!

• 7:50Speaker 03

  No, but it's real shallow. It's only like two and a half feet deep.

• 7:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Doesn't matter.

• 7:54Speaker 03

  So you gotta fucking-

• 7:54Speaker 04

  No diving!

• 7:55Speaker 03

  Hippo mode it.

• 7:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, can I tell you what I've wanted to do? Because I do have a pool, but I lack a jacuzzi, okay?

• 8:01Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 8:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Now, here's the thing. Anything in Texas takes a million years to build.

• 8:04Speaker 03

  I got the answer for you.

• 8:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Please.

• 8:06Speaker 03

  Just standalone jacuzzi. You're, you're a white trash-

• 8:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Thank you!

• 8:10Speaker 03

  Lottery winner. You fucking, you, for sure. You're new money. That's what you got.

• 8:15Speaker 04

  Put it in the living room.

• 8:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude!

• 8:17Speaker 04

  Put a jacuzzi in there.

• 8:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm single. I can do whatever the fuck I want.

• 8:19Speaker 03

  Yeah!

• 8:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, I should put it in my bedroom, like everything else. My coffee machine's in there. I got a water cooler now in my bedroom. I don't have to leave it.

• 8:26Speaker 03

  At a doctor's office? That's insane.

• 8:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  I got a water cooler. I put, I don't wanna leave my bedroom ever, like Winston Churchill.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  Is it like the five gallons?

• 8:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's a big one.

• 8:35Speaker 03

  Like the, like at a doctor's office?

• 8:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes. I have a water cooler in my fucking room. I got a coffee machine.

• 8:41Speaker 03

  I get, that's, that isn't classy, but like if you're never leaving the room, you're a dirtbag. If you do it, if you do it where you're like, I drink the reverse osmosis water right when I wake up, I make a latte, whatever, but if you're just living in your room, hunkered in-

• 8:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 8:55Speaker 04

  Hmm, it's like Grey Gardens there.

• 8:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I have two cats. I had one cat and now I got a second.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  This is how there will be blood, Andy. You're gonna beat one-

• 9:03Speaker 04

  I'm finished!

• 9:03Speaker 03

  You're gonna beat one of your producers with a bowling pin and be like shooting rifles in the house?

• 9:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, let me ask you this. How many cats is a trashy number? Cause I'm, I'm working my way up.

• 9:15Speaker 04

  When did you get the two cats? Have you always had them?

• 9:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  No. The first cat I got two years ago, and then I was like, I got two hands. I need one for each cat.

• 9:23Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 9:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  So now I'm on the second cat, but every time I see a little stray buddy or I wanna go to the shelter, you know what I mean? Like, I just want, I want like 10.

• 9:31Speaker 03

  That's too many. That's too many.

• 9:33Speaker 04

  You're not there yet.

• 9:33Speaker 03

  Cause the house is probably pretty big, too. You're gonna lose them. They're gonna be like, they're gonna be wild cats inside and that's not good.

• 9:41Speaker 04

  You'll have ivy growing on the house. You don't wanna do that.

• 9:43Speaker 03

  We're gonna have to do an intervention or something.

• 9:44Speaker 04

  We're not there yet. Enjoy the pizza, hang out in the room, whatever you wanna do, but-

• 9:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  But most importantly, before we begin-

• 9:52Speaker 03

  Wait, we're not recording? I've been fucking killing her.

• 9:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  I haven't even done the, the intro, but I just need to know this, cause I've been wondering since the last time I saw you.

• 9:59Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 10:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Am I still the reigning queen?

• 10:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're up there for sure, right?

• 10:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes!

• 10:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 10:07Speaker 04

  Jordan Jensen came close.

• 10:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Jordan's really trash. I was gonna ask about her.

• 10:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, she's trashy.

• 10:13Speaker 03

  She's trashy, but she's like a little different. She's like, like, hill, like, like, like, you know, sticks trash. She's like forest trash.

• 10:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, moonshiner.

• 10:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:21Speaker 04

  You were at Roseanne and Tom Arnold's wedding, right?

• 10:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes, I was. There's pictures of me in Life magazine.

• 10:26Speaker 04

  You can't, you can't do that.

• 10:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's trash. And then, oh, oh, last time I saw you, I, remember I got a snake bite? And I cut my hand?

• 10:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, this last weekend, I was sitting in this hot tub and I got fucking, not my hot tub, this friend of mine who lives in the hills and, and all these ants were everywhere. And I got bitten by something and I got a huge allergic reaction. I mean, that's pretty garbagey, isn't it? To sit in someone's filthy.

• 10:48Speaker 03

  Was it above ground? No, I was, it was like.

• 10:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fancy. She's real rich, yeah.

• 10:53Speaker 04

  You were in the, you were in California?

• 10:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, no, in Westlake here. Yeah, I don't live there. That's like fancy, rich. But I did get an ant bite that created a reaction.

• 11:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you were in a nice, probably like, you know, built into the landscape includes like, oh, we're lowering our footprint. It's built within the lake. You didn't like.

• 11:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 11:12Speaker 03

  That's pretty classy.

• 11:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, Salt Lake City, short leg titties. I'm coming to you at Wise Guys Comedy Club, October 9th and 10th. Grab your Diet Cokes and meet me there.

• 11:22Tom Segura?

  As summer winds down and autumn approaches, I think it's time we all collectively admit it's by far the better season when it comes to being outside. From the crisp air to the changing leaves, fall ignites a burning desire to be around a bonfire or holding it down at a tailgate with my boys. No matter where you find yourself this time of year, it'll be a better experience when paired with the American original that is Mountain Dew. Hailing from the foothills of Tennessee in 1948 by way of two brothers who knew what it meant to have a good time outside. It's the kind of simple roots you can't help but respect. That crisp citrus kick hits even harder after tossing around a football in the front yard

• 12:04Tom Segura?

  or breaking out the grill on game day. Aren't you tired of just being so sweaty? It's the grossest. Autumn is by far the best and there's nothing better than a crisp Mountain Dew with cool weather. Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew, an American original, tasting great since 48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you.

• 12:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Autumn is finally here, which means it's the perfect time to refresh your space as the seasons change. Whether you've been needing to replace those chairs that are more for looks than lounging, or you're like me and always searching for dark decor to up the angst in your atmosphere, look no further than Wayfair. They specialize in curating a home that withstands the wear and tear of real life with quality products at a great price that are backed by countless trusted reviews. Wayfair lets you shop thousands of products across every style and budget by using filters, customer photos, and reviews to find the right fit for your home. With more than 20 million verified five-star reviews, Wayfair helps you buy with confidence.

• 13:08Christina Pazsitzky?

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• 13:38Speaker 04

  Who's the friend?

• 13:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Uh, a lady, yeah, lady. It was chicks.

• 13:42Speaker 04

  Divorced as well?

• 13:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Uh, remarried.

• 13:44Speaker 04

  Okay. All right. So girls' night, you're hanging out in the hot tub?

• 13:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. Oh, I've been doing a lot of that.

• 13:49Speaker 03

  That's classy.

• 13:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Lot of hanging out in the pool, girls ripping darts, having fun, drinking. So, that's my life.

• 13:55Speaker 03

  That's okay. You're processing. You're figuring it out.

• 13:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I'm, but just to be clear, I still am trashier than Jordan Jensen.

• 14:02Speaker 04

  For sure.

• 14:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  For sure. You said that very convincingly and I, that's very.

• 14:06Speaker 04

  You're eating Domino's every day.

• 14:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  True.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  Also, yeah, that's, I forgot about that.

• 14:10Speaker 04

  And you're ordering it yourself? Like you were going on there, not an assistant, nothing like that? So just showing up?

• 14:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, you just DoorDash or whatever. It just comes to, what do you mean? Yeah, my assistant.

• 14:18Speaker 03

  Do you, I got, do you have, you don't, you don't have the Domino's app, do you?

• 14:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, but I have the 7-Eleven app and I order darts to the house.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, but, yeah, I know. You got it. Yeah.

• 14:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  I have that.

• 14:28Speaker 03

  I have it too for when we're down here.

• 14:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's bad. What's the car like? Are you cleaning the car regularly or no? Is it dirty?

• 14:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's dirty. It's always dirty. Right now, if you were to look in my car, there's half an eating breakfast bar, half a bottle of water, lipstick, like just shit everywhere. I got kids.

• 14:45Speaker 03

  I got a question. Yeah, kids, I just got a new car and I have one, I have one son and my wife and it's like, it's, it just goes. It's just, you just lose it.

• 14:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yep.

• 14:54Speaker 03

  I don't understand it. But how many packs of cigarettes are at the house at the moment?

• 14:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, I got it.

• 14:59Speaker 03

  How many open, how many unopened?

• 15:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Great idea. Oh, not only that. Okay. So I got a drawer that I lock everything in so that the kids can't see what I'm up to. Okay?

• 15:07Speaker 03

  Very good parenting.

• 15:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  So hold on. I got at least five pack of Marlboro Light darts that I keep on hand.

• 15:13Speaker 03

  Unopened.

• 15:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Unopened, American Spirits for backup when these don't cut it. And then some blue Camel Lights. And then, hold on. Oh, and then I started vaping. Kim Kongden got me into vaping.

• 15:24Speaker 03

  He's been vaping too.

• 15:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's great.

• 15:26Speaker 04

  I just quit.

• 15:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  Last night or this morning.

• 15:29Speaker 04

  Two weeks. Back on the heaters. Something healthy.

• 15:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  I feel like these are way healthier. This is organic matter, dude. All right. You guys are great. Let's start with this opening clip. Are you ready?

• 15:39Speaker 04

  Please.

• 15:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  You guys got your cans on? Here we go.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  Canned up.

• 15:42Speaker 06

  I am dipping nuggets you've never heard of into sauces you could never understand.

• 15:48Speaker 04

  Just the friend you were in the hot tub?

• 15:50Speaker 06

  I'm not talking about nuggets.

• 15:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Talking about nuggets.

• 16:01Speaker 04

  She's ripping heaters. I'm ripping heaters. I don't give a fuck.

• 16:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 16:04Speaker 03

  It's a heater crew, dude.

• 16:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's the year.

• 16:06Speaker 04

  Is that okay?

• 16:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Of course it's okay.

• 16:08Speaker 04

  Like I have to?

• 16:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Help yourself. What are you, what are you ripping?

• 16:12Speaker 04

  Camels.

• 16:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, that's a good. Let me see. The blues?

• 16:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  I like the blues.

• 16:16Speaker 04

  Here, have yourself.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  Every pack of cigarettes he has look like they'd be like they, they were in a pool or something. The box immediately fucking crumbles and flaps open. It's crazy.

• 16:24Speaker 04

  They were in Fallujah.

• 16:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 16:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:31Speaker 04

  Oh, man, she's off the deep end this one.

• 16:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  Sniffing cigs is wild. I get it. I get it. I felt that in my belly, but it's wild.

• 16:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'll tell you why.

• 16:42Speaker 03

  You're moving bad.

• 16:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why.

• 16:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hold on, the theme song is, okay.

• 16:47Speaker 04

  She's over the theme song?

• 16:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is.

• 16:49Speaker 04

  Cut it.

• 16:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  God, this is my first, this is what I smoked first and the smell is of raisins, Camel Light. These smell so good to me.

• 16:58Speaker 04

  Raisins?

• 16:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, they smell like raisins. This is not, it doesn't smell like shit. Smell this. These don't do anything to your lungs. Those really shred you up and I kinda like that.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  I, listen, I've, I've smelt my fair share of Marlboro Lights, my friend.

• 17:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. Um. So what else? What's new? You got the above ground pool. It sounds like a fucking killer summer.

• 17:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was great.

• 17:17Speaker 04

  It's gone now.

• 17:18Speaker 03

  It's gone. I had to take it down, obviously. Try put 228 bucks, I probably got five, six weeks out of it.

• 17:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's not bad.

• 17:24Speaker 03

  It's great.

• 17:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. How old are your kids?

• 17:26Speaker 03

  Uh, 15 months.

• 17:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay. So when they get a bit older, wait, oh, they're twins?

• 17:31Speaker 03

  No, just one. I only have one, 15 months.

• 17:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Boy, girl?

• 17:33Speaker 03

  Boy.

• 17:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, yo, here's what you're gonna do next summer. You're gonna get an inflatable thing from Amazon, like these inflatable jumper Rooney water things.

• 17:43Speaker 04

  I know what you're talking about.

• 17:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Go to Amazon right now. It's like a play.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  Type in jumper Rooney.

• 17:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like a jumping water thing?

• 17:49Speaker 04

  They blow away in high winds sometimes. Those are great videos. Those are great.

• 17:53Speaker 03

  Kid didn't make it, but yeah, great videos.

• 17:55Speaker 04

  People are freaking out.

• 17:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yo, you put that in your backyard, summer made, bro. That boy's gonna love it. Yeah, one of these things?

• 18:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

• 18:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Go to Walmart, spend 230 bucks and you got yourself a whole summer.

• 18:06Speaker 03

  We were talking about maybe getting an actual pool, but I think that's on hold. I'm just not gonna use it.

• 18:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's gonna take forever too.

• 18:13Speaker 03

  They're fucking crazy expensive.

• 18:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  How much are they?

• 18:15Speaker 03

  They're like a hundred thousand dollars.

• 18:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Shut the fuck up.

• 18:17Speaker 03

  Pools are insane.

• 18:18Speaker 04

  You got a hundred grand?

• 18:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:20Speaker 04

  That's pretty good.

• 18:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Damn.

• 18:22Speaker 04

  We make the same amount of money.

• 18:25Speaker 03

  Hey, it's crazy. He'll be like, how do you, what do you just pay that at the end of the month? Yeah.

• 18:31Speaker 03

  And he, he makes it, he actually like, I'm like, I'm living this.

• 18:33Speaker 04

  I'm a minimalist.

• 18:34Speaker 03

  I live in this insane lifestyle. It's like, I drive a Tahoe, uh, I have a $228 pool.

• 18:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 18:41Speaker 03

  But he makes it, yeah.

• 18:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  What's going on? What are you, what are you spending money on?

• 18:45Speaker 04

  I did spend a lot of it on nefarious things.

• 18:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sure, sure.

• 18:49Speaker 04

  Stuff, yeah. We're building our way out of it. I'm just not good with it, you know?

• 18:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 18:53Speaker 04

  I feel like my, uh, mission is to die in the gutter, right? I mean, you know?

• 18:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right?

• 18:59Speaker 04

  Play this out.

• 19:00Speaker 03

  I love how you're trying to connect with her on that. She's in like a 70 million dollar house. You're like, you're gonna die in a gutter, right? Oh, you know what you're talking about?

• 19:07Speaker 04

  Like a true artist. The boys got me.

• 19:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, they all have more money than you too.

• 19:11Speaker 04

  I know, it's bad news.

• 19:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well.

• 19:13Speaker 04

  We can do.

• 19:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can, can the wife watch the money? Can someone else do the money?

• 19:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't think she's gonna.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:21Speaker 04

  We have a business manager. Yeah.

• 19:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay.

• 19:23Speaker 04

  JB.

• 19:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  They got a wrangle, they got a fucking, the dial you in, dude. What are you doing?

• 19:28Speaker 04

  I guess. I don't know. At 50, do they? What do I got? What are we doing here?

• 19:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Um, that's true. Hold on. I have a good clip for you guys.

• 19:35Speaker 04

  Hit us.

• 19:36Speaker 03

  Wait, what was that? Who's this broad?

• 19:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's the lady I was kicking it with.

• 19:39Speaker 04

  No, it wasn't.

• 19:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, dude.

• 19:41Speaker 03

  If you end up looking like that, that's too far. Fucking, I'm gonna have to call CPS if this is who you're hanging out with.

• 19:46Speaker 04

  You're doing trivia night and stuff like that, speed dating? Get out of here with that.

• 19:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  But she's got nuggets that she's dipping in all kinds of places.

• 19:52Speaker 03

  I don't get that innuendo. What is it? I, I'm, maybe I'm a brood, but she's like, she's dipping nuggets?

• 20:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  She's dipping her nuggets.

• 20:01Speaker 03

  What are her nuggets?

• 20:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean, they're whatever you want.

• 20:06Speaker 03

  That's what I'm saying.

• 20:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, first of all, which is the superior nugget are we talking?

• 20:11Speaker 04

  Oh, McDonald's.

• 20:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right? Hands down.

• 20:13Speaker 04

  Still, forget about it.

• 20:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 20:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hey, what about Chick-fil-A? My kids are into the Chick-fil-A.

• 20:18Speaker 04

  The Chick-fil-A tray is a standard. You know what I mean? You get the Chick-fil-A nugget tray for Christmas and stuff like that.

• 20:24Speaker 03

  Serves like fifteen, twenty people.

• 20:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh.

• 20:26Speaker 04

  That's a different thing.

• 20:27Speaker 03

  We did it on Easter this year.

• 20:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Really?

• 20:30Speaker 03

  Great.

• 20:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 20:31Speaker 04

  But standard nuggets, it's Mickey D's.

• 20:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think so too.

• 20:34Speaker 04

  For sure.

• 20:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's just because that's what we were raised on, yeah?

• 20:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, nobody's touching Mickey D's. It's just the way it is now.

• 20:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, this shit's delicious, dude. Alright, what about this? Hold on.

• 20:43Speaker 07

  We got nobody putting the cheese on the burgers now.

• 20:46Speaker 00

  I'll double some of them up.

• 20:47Speaker 03

  I've never seen that.

• 20:48Speaker 07

  What are you doing up here with all that cheese?

• 20:50Speaker 00

  Without cheese.

• 20:50Speaker 07

  So we use the fancy cheese on our burgers. What are we using here?

• 20:54Speaker 00

  The only cheese we have.

• 20:55Speaker 07

  We're using a cheese tray. Okay. Don't think it's the only cheese we got. We're acting like we're fancy using real good cheese on the burgers.

• 21:03Speaker 04

  They got pepper jack, they got cheddar.

• 21:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude.

• 21:05Speaker 04

  And Colby, which is the weirdest cheese of all.

• 21:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Colby, yeah.

• 21:11Speaker 04

  Colby tastes like nothing.

• 21:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:12Speaker 04

  It's strange.

• 21:15Speaker 03

  I don't know what the take on this video is. I walked in, when I saw that, I went, they're wasting that good cheese on those burgers.

• 21:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Me too, me too.

• 21:23Speaker 03

  I don't know what that says about me, if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

• 21:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's definitely trashy, it's bad.

• 21:29Speaker 04

  They think it's fancy, that's what's bad.

• 21:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think it's fancy. I've, can I, I just, that made me realize that I've never put anything other than American or cheddar on a burger in my entire life.

• 21:39Speaker 04

  Cheddar, you don't do Swiss?

• 21:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fuck you, Swiss. Disgusting.

• 21:43Speaker 03

  Swiss, what are you, a communist? That's crazy.

• 21:45Speaker 04

  It's alright.

• 21:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  I didn't know you could put other cheeses on burgers.

• 21:49Speaker 03

  No. Dude, when I go somewhere and I'll be going to the burger, they go, wait, what kind of cheese? I go, American. I don't know, I don't even go with an option there.

• 21:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't know, that's what I'm saying.

• 21:58Speaker 03

  I go like, I don't, do you have Gorgonzola? Like, I've never ordered Gorgonzola anywhere.

• 22:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, me neither.

• 22:04Speaker 04

  Cheeseburger?

• 22:05Speaker 03

  Munster.

• 22:06Speaker 04

  Munster.

• 22:06Speaker 03

  I don't even know, I don't know what an option is.

• 22:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  What's an option? I mean, these fools have figured it out.

• 22:12Speaker 03

  You go, American or cheddar?

• 22:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's it.

• 22:14Speaker 03

  Same thing when I do an omelet. I'll be like, an omelet? And they go, what kind of cheese you wanna go? Cheddar? That's me being like toity-toity.

• 22:20Speaker 04

  Cheddar stinks.

• 22:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can I cut?

• 22:21Speaker 04

  On an omelet.

• 22:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  What are you talking about?

• 22:24Speaker 04

  There's no taste to it. You gotta do American on an omelet.

• 22:26Speaker 03

  Gouda?

• 22:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Gouda, that's super gay, dude.

• 22:29Speaker 04

  Young Gouda?

• 22:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Gruyere? Come on, who's getting this shit?

• 22:32Speaker 03

  Gruyere.

• 22:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Gruyere? Who gets this in their house?

• 22:35Speaker 03

  Pepper jack, I could kinda see maybe.

• 22:37Speaker 04

  Pepper jack's the flavor of the week.

• 22:38Speaker 03

  Adds a spicy kick, melts decently well, making it a favorite for heat seekers.

• 22:42Speaker 04

  They're hot right now. Nobody really likes pepper jack. They just like it saying, oh, good pepper jack.

• 22:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, it makes you sound special. I don't even sure I've ever had pepper jack.

• 22:51Speaker 04

  It's bullshit.

• 22:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  I like Gouda, but on its own. I don't know, I've never.

• 22:56Speaker 04

  Who's doing the grocery shopping at the house now?

• 22:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, I do, I Instacart.

• 23:00Speaker 04

  You do?

• 23:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  I always have, yeah. Yeah, why? What do you think? That I live in Downton Abbey and I don't, I don't do anything?

• 23:08Speaker 04

  I'm surprised. A little bit.

• 23:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can I tell you what I really like? I like the HEB, but I prefer Randall's because it's even trashier than HEB.

• 23:16Speaker 03

  My buddy, I was, I met up with my buddy who lives here last night, he goes, everybody makes fun of me for going to Randall's.

• 23:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Love Randall's. Here's why I prefer Randall's to HEB.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  It's cheaper too, I think. That's what he said.

• 23:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, I don't know about that, but I do know that the selection is significantly less, so you got less to work with.

• 23:33Speaker 04

  You're like a salt and vinegar chip, that's it?

• 23:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  You're in and out, and they always hire special needs people to work the registers and the baggers, so I love that. I really wish they, they brought back more special needs people to be baggers.

• 23:47Speaker 04

  But you're not doing it there, you're ordering in.

• 23:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, not all the time. When I can go to Randall's, I take the kids and they go, hey, look at the retarded guy bagging your groceries.

• 23:56Speaker 03

  It's gonna be you one day.

• 23:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  For sure.

• 24:00Speaker 03

  I was a bagger too, so I get it.

• 24:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's a skill, because there's a whole art form to bagging groceries.

• 24:05Speaker 03

  Don't get me started. I got, I got, I got bagging takes that'll blow you. I go eggs on the bottom. That's how I'm not saying it. Eggs on the bottom.

• 24:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  You can't do that! That's against the rules!

• 24:13Speaker 03

  You're crazy, you're crazy.

• 24:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Eggs on the bottom.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  If you're in the industry, you know, yeah, they're in the container. It's also very hard to crack an egg unless you like drop it.

• 24:23Speaker 04

  Those brown ones?

• 24:24Speaker 03

  And it creates a great base at the bottom. Whoo, you get a, you get a fucking eighteen, you get a dozen and a half, boom, that keeps the bag perfectly erect you stack on top of it.

• 24:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay.

• 24:34Speaker 03

  I'm not saying you put your fucking five pounds of tomato, tomatoes on there, you know?

• 24:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  So what do you put on top of the eggs?

• 24:40Speaker 03

  Anything boxed.

• 24:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Anything boxed, so like your Nilla wafers?

• 24:45Speaker 03

  You got, you know.

• 24:46Speaker 04

  Is that where you're getting all the wafers?

• 24:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love it. And I've eaten cream of wheat. Apparently that's trash. Is cream of wheat?

• 24:51Speaker 04

  You've eaten cream of wheat?

• 24:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Love cream of wheat.

• 24:52Speaker 03

  What? You're the weirdest person I've ever met. You might be the only person eating cream of wheat and Domino's every day that exists in walking this planet. No one does that. No one's ever done that. You're a man.

• 25:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  And.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  Call a meat crazy.

• 25:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I've been pickling things, like beets, like my Eastern European. I've got jars of pickled.

• 25:10Speaker 03

  She's lost it.

• 25:12Speaker 04

  But I'm in Temptations or something, will you? Go to Tursey Cakeos.

• 25:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let's see what, we should have Drew on actually pretty soon. He's been really nice, okay?

• 25:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, um, that's your, yeah, that's, wait, pickling? What are you pickling?

• 25:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  So Eastern Europeans, you pickle all the vegetables. You can pickle anything. I do green beans, cauliflower.

• 25:34Speaker 03

  You can pickle anything.

• 25:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  I like to make my own pick. You guys don't do that? Americans don't pickle anything?

• 25:39Speaker 04

  No. I live in a basement. I'm not pickling anything. I got no pool, nothing. I've been living out of a roller bag for the last five months.

• 25:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  But you look so tan. Where are you getting your sunshine from?

• 25:50Speaker 04

  Uh, got a little color this weekend. Where were we before? We were in LA. Got a little color out there.

• 25:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 25:55Speaker 04

  Um, yeah, that's about it. Keeping up on the tan for a little while.

• 26:03Speaker 04

  That's my focus. Get a little color, you'll be alright, that's it.

• 26:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 26:06Speaker 04

  You need fifteen minutes.

• 26:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's true, you do. You need a little, you look good though, you do. And that's all that matters, is how you look.

• 26:12Speaker 04

  I've been telling him that. That's all that matters. We're Hollywood, what are we doing here? Everybody thinks I'm killing it.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  I'm gonna kill both of you. I don't have, I don't have a semi today. Not today.

• 26:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  You don't wanna, okay.

• 26:21Speaker 03

  Not today.

• 26:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Then you know what?

• 26:23Speaker 03

  Devil's knocking on the door. Not today, Jesus.

• 26:25Christina Pazsitzky?

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• 27:10Christina Pazsitzky?

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• 28:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Then you know what? I want you to see, I know you guys are huge M. Night Shyamalan fans.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  I saw him once.

• 28:16Speaker 04

  We did.

• 28:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  You did? Where?

• 28:18Speaker 04

  We saw him outside of like a.

• 28:19Speaker 03

  Finnegan's Wake or something, didn't we?

• 28:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, something. He was with his kids. Nice guy, good guy, great actor. Doesn't get a lot of credit for his acting.

• 28:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, I'm so excited to announce that he has started his own YouTube channel, because I know you guys are dying to get to know him.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  Hmm, wait, it's like, it's like POV content? Or is he put, he's like shooting stuff and putting it out there? Or is he like an influencer now?

• 28:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, let's see. I just want you guys to get a feeling for this, okay? Here we go.

• 28:43Speaker 03

  I'm M. Night Shyamalan.

• 28:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  We know.

• 28:45Speaker 03

  I'm a filmmaker, make movies for a living.

• 28:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  God, I'm bored already.

• 28:49Speaker 03

  This is my YouTube channel. Um, what I hope it is.

• 28:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  I hate his socks. I hate his jeans.

• 28:58Speaker 03

  Is an opportunity to reflect and get to know each other. Spit it out already, guys. You gotta get it. Come on. The first thirty seconds matter. You gotta get him, you gotta keep him.

• 29:07Speaker 04

  Mr. Beast is killing it.

• 29:08Speaker 03

  It's the way that feels.

• 29:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, it's insufferable.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  Shut up, dude. You're behind the camera for a fucking reason, dickhead.

• 29:15Speaker 04

  Why? Go away. Go on vacation. What are you doing?

• 29:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Just watch this.

• 29:18Speaker 03

  I'm scared.

• 29:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's scared to do it.

• 29:20Speaker 03

  And when I'm scared, I usually feel like I'm doing something right.

• 29:25Speaker 00

  Growing. Um, the messiness of it all.

• 29:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  What messiness? You're not saying anything.

• 29:31Speaker 03

  He hasn't said a fact yet.

• 29:33Speaker 00

  And permission to be.

• 29:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, my God.

• 29:35Speaker 00

  Not great.

• 29:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, congratulations.

• 29:38Speaker 00

  Both for, for you guys and for me and to.

• 29:41Speaker 03

  How many views does this have? If this has more than what I get on an episode, I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna kill somebody.

• 29:47Speaker 00

  You know, it's like thirty years making movies and I wanna.

• 29:52Speaker 00

  Um, undo it a little bit.

• 29:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why? Why?

• 29:55Speaker 04

  Six Sense was great.

• 29:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why would you undo it?

• 29:58Speaker 00

  Or in anybody's head. Um, and so.

• 30:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, my God.

• 30:02Speaker 00

  Maybe a reflective. Uh, part of my life. And so maybe this is a part of that, but something about it feels right. Um. As long as I don't feel like I'm breaking anything that's like important to me here.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  Who, who is going, I need M. Night Shyamalan content? No one's ever said that. His last four movies tanked. Like, they're not even watching the thing you're good at. No one's doing that.

• 30:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  I'm, I can't.

• 30:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  I can't. I know.

• 30:31Speaker 03

  This just broke me.

• 30:32Speaker 04

  Everybody stop. Go away.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  Stop it, dude.

• 30:34Speaker 04

  Take a vacation. It's over.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  It's also like, we started doing YouTube content and podcasts because we couldn't, but nobody.

• 30:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, you wouldn't cast me, dickhead.

• 30:43Speaker 03

  Yeah. Joke off your shot fucking signs in my, in my hometown.

• 30:47Speaker 04

  I could have been an alien.

• 30:47Speaker 03

  You didn't, you didn't knock on my door.

• 30:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is why you're here to watch this with me. This is exactly the outrage I feel.

• 30:54Speaker 03

  I just don't get it. What the fuck are we doing? I'm, I'm, I'm sorry. I've been traveling a lot. I didn't get good sleep.

• 31:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, and this also bothers me. It's very similar to Garth Brooks's attempt at being a human being.

• 31:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a dude, you're, you're missing even like gen- genuine con- like connection.

• 31:12Speaker 04

  The shirt and tie, the ruffled jeans, the sneakers, the bench.

• 31:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Of cour- and he's so far gone from humanity because he's been so rich for so long.

• 31:22Speaker 04

  You think so? He's got a lot of cash?

• 31:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  For sure. He's been doing movies for how many years? Twenty years?

• 31:27Speaker 03

  Crazy, right? If he had a couple of points, I was still prime DVD fans.

• 31:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean, and now he wants us to know him as a person, but he's so insufferably boring.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  God.

• 31:38Speaker 03

  I also.

• 31:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Eighty million dollars!

• 31:42Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 31:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why is he doing a YouTube channel?

• 31:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, right. When's enough enough? Also, that bench doesn't live there. Like, you carried that out. You had a set director. You had a wardrobe guy.

• 31:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hold on. Speaking of the bench, he's gonna tell you a little bit about it.

• 31:54Speaker 00

  By the way, this is my little bench.

• 31:57Speaker 03

  Oh, that's fucking crazy.

• 31:58Speaker 04

  I'm living in the basement, dickhead!

• 32:00Speaker 00

  Actually, my, my, uh, office gave me this as a present.

• 32:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, they gave it to you or you paid for it, dummy?

• 32:05Speaker 00

  That's my office, in there, actually.

• 32:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, in there.

• 32:07Speaker 00

  So I come out here to.

• 32:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 32:10Speaker 00

  Kind of calm it down when I'm not feeling.

• 32:13Speaker 04

  Calm what down?

• 32:13Speaker 03

  You're the slowest moving man in the world. Just to calm it down. What? You calm it down anymore? You're not gonna have a pulse, jerk off.

• 32:21Speaker 04

  What, does he have a game after school? Look at the shirt and tie.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  This guy stinks, dude.

• 32:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  He sucks.

• 32:25Speaker 03

  I liked him too. He's from Philly. I got, we gotta love him.

• 32:28Speaker 04

  Good guy.

• 32:29Speaker 03

  This, but no, he's not. Sucks.

• 32:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's insufferable.

• 32:32Speaker 03

  How many, how many, you, can you get information on his YouTube account?

• 32:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, let's see what's going on.

• 32:39Speaker 04

  This has almost two million views.

• 32:40Speaker 03

  What? Are you fucking kidding me, man? Dude.

• 32:45Speaker 04

  That's all bots.

• 32:46Speaker 03

  That's, yeah. That's all Paramount money. How many subscribers does he have?

• 32:51Speaker 04

  What are the comments?

• 32:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, if he's not getting trashed.

• 32:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  We gotta go deeper. Oh, no. Look at the profile.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  We gotta beat on subscribers. Five videos. Movie director.

• 33:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, my God.

• 33:02Speaker 03

  Two million views, twelve days. This guy's doing numbers, though. I respect it.

• 33:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  God.

• 33:06Speaker 04

  Diary while filming.

• 33:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, my God. Could you imagine? I mean, just for a second, could you imagine being this enamored of yourself?

• 33:16Speaker 04

  No.

• 33:18Speaker 03

  We genuinely dislike ourselves.

• 33:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  So much. So, and like, if I'm not entertaining within two seconds, that I'm getting the sweats, I'm nervous. It's like, you're, when you're a performer, you know, monkey dance. And he doesn't have that in him of like, dance, make, come on. Oh, I'm so jealous that he doesn't have that in him.

• 33:35Speaker 04

  Some intern or somebody works for him said YouTube's very big right now.

• 33:38Speaker 03

  He said, he said in a boardroom at like CAA and they're, you know, and they're like.

• 33:43Speaker 04

  Shout out to the boys.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  Shout out to the boys, like YouTube. You know what I mean? Some guys like, these kids are doing great on YouTube. You know, we should fucking, what about YouTube?

• 33:52Speaker 04

  These island boys are hot.

• 33:53Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, that's, you know, but I get it. He's gotta stay with the times a little bit, you know?

• 34:01Speaker 04

  No, you don't.

• 34:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, you don't. He doesn't have to. He's so far, he doesn't need to do any of that.

• 34:05Speaker 03

  But like, you still create. He is an art, like, you know, we're, I was shitting on him. He is an artist and it's like, as corny as that sounds, but it's like, he's got, he does have the. The thing in him to keep doing it, you know, keep doing something.

• 34:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Make a movie. Yes. Get, get off the YouTube and go make a good movie.

• 34:21Speaker 04

  Go to Thailand, something. Ladyboy, have fun.

• 34:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Have fun. Yeah, what are you doing here, son?

• 34:26Speaker 03

  How much, well, how did his last movie do? Can, can you get a?

• 34:30Speaker 04

  I think it was the island one, the beach one.

• 34:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's been struggling. I feel like, not that I'm a movie maker and obviously.

• 34:37Speaker 03

  Fucking electric chair. This guy's cranking, cranking heater. I respect it. I'm jealous.

• 34:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let's go.

• 34:42Speaker 04

  Breaking the mold.

• 34:42Speaker 03

  Trap.

• 34:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'll keep up with you, dude.

• 34:44Speaker 03

  Twenty twenty-four.

• 34:45Speaker 04

  Crap.

• 34:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  I never even heard of this. Again, it grossed eighty-three point seven million. I never even.

• 34:52Speaker 03

  Production budget thirty, I think it made fifty million dollars.

• 34:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Still.

• 34:56Speaker 03

  That's crazy. That's, I mean, movies, I mean, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. You know what? I'm sitting here criticizing this guy.

• 35:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. Okay, but look, look, I, I agree. I, this is not.

• 35:05Speaker 03

  I can't afford a pool. What the fuck am I talking about?

• 35:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is not my type of entertainment, but this, I want tickets to immediately.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  What? What's this? Is that taser fights?

• 35:17Speaker 03

  Sick.

• 35:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right? I love it.

• 35:21Speaker 04

  He's trying to compete with this on a bench?

• 35:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude, you're never gonna.

• 35:25Speaker 04

  Collared shirt?

• 35:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, this crash is so hard.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  That guy's laughing.

• 35:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, they love it.

• 35:32Speaker 03

  And also, you probably shouldn't be in water, no? That's a fuck, I don't know how electricity works, but that's a grounding issue.

• 35:37Speaker 04

  These kids are crazy.

• 35:39Speaker 03

  I shout out to it.

• 35:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is more entertaining than every M. Night Shyamalan YouTube video he's going to put out.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  Well, that's the thing, even like, we're all.

• 35:46Speaker 04

  Lady in the water was pretty good.

• 35:48Speaker 03

  We're all comedians and it's like, there's a fourteen-year-old black kid that can make the funniest video. It's funnier than anything we've ever thought of.

• 35:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 35:55Speaker 03

  Anything we've ever tried to craft. It's like, I'd watch this over anything M. Night Shyamalan does out. And that guy who's getting tased ain't making eighty million dollars.

• 36:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, yeah. He can't, you can't get me out of my house to go see an M. Night Shyamalan movie. I would leave immediately to go in a dirty tunnel and see this.

• 36:10Speaker 03

  Shyamalan in my house.

• 36:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? It's on the TV. It's four presses away, four buttons away, and I'm not gonna do it.

• 36:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  This, I would get out of my bed at midnight and find the sewer.

• 36:20Speaker 03

  They were like, hey, you gotta change your flight. There's taser fights under the bridge. I'd go, I'd tell my wife I'll be home tomorrow.

• 36:25Speaker 04

  This kid's pointing it out there.

• 36:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  How do we find out where the next taser fight is?

• 36:30Speaker 03

  I've been tased before.

• 36:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  Really?

• 36:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, I did it to impress a girl at a party.

• 36:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Did it work?

• 36:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Nah.

• 36:36Speaker 04

  Really?

• 36:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, we dated for like a year.

• 36:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Was she cool?

• 36:38Speaker 03

  Yeah. Obviously, she's dating a guy who gets tased. What up? Cause she's the coolest girl at school.

• 36:43Speaker 04

  We used to put a dog collar on the, uh, electric fence thing and walk in front of the TV.

• 36:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, we had a.

• 36:49Speaker 04

  Never got laid from it, though.

• 36:50Speaker 03

  We had a buddy who was like, selling low levels of drugs and he thought he needed it. So he brought out a taser at a party. And just fucking, it was fun.

• 36:59Speaker 04

  You got any nickel at the house? You got a piece at the house?

• 37:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm sorry?

• 37:01Speaker 04

  Gun?

• 37:03Speaker 03

  Good lord. I'm sorry?

• 37:06Speaker 04

  Sincere, I said.

• 37:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Uh, yeah, we got lots of guns in my house. So you fucking fuck around. Don't you come over and try me, fatso. Yeah, no.

• 37:14Speaker 03

  Who's fatso?

• 37:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Where was it from? Was it Casino? You can fuck a try me, fatso. It's the greatest line.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  That's a good line.

• 37:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Uh, yeah, tons of guns, lot of guards. Don't even fuck with Pajitski. You got it?

• 37:25Speaker 04

  Nice. You got guards at the house. Well, that's better with the white wine and the living and the pizza and all that stuff. That's all right. You got the guards out there.

• 37:33Speaker 03

  Uh, that's good. Yeah, we need more stuff like this. I'm all about this kind of stuff.

• 37:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, this is why I miss the time before the internet, cause you really could just, this is what people did to entertain themselves. Like, I feel like, I don't know, walking around in the nineties, you'd see some guys skateboarding. You, this is how like Jackass got started. It was always started by skateboarders. Bored, young dudes putting firecrackers in their ass or tasing each other. It was great.

• 37:59Speaker 03

  I was a wannabe. I skateboarded. I was bad, but skateboarded. Outside in the suburbs of Philadelphia where Jackass or CKY started. It was like, that was, you couldn't tell us. We went and I bought like a three hundred dollar video camera and I'm like, we're gonna. Jump out of, you know, get a shopping cart and crash it into stuff like that's what we're doing.

• 38:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Good. I show my kids Jackass. We watch it every night. It's the fucking, by the way, Knoxville's doing Fear Factor Two. He's, Johnny Knoxville, come on your mom's house. I wanna talk to you. I, we've had Steve-O on, but I would love to interview Knoxville. Um, yeah, that shit's so good, dude. That shit's so funny.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  Again, funnier, it's the funniest stuff in the world.

• 38:40Speaker 04

  Everybody loved it.

• 38:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  I can watch those fools shave their eyebrows, taze each other, fuck each other up all day.

• 38:47Speaker 04

  It's funny, at the time, we didn't realize the damage they were doing to themselves.

• 38:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 38:50Speaker 04

  Which is crazy. The shit that Knoxville would do on that rocket.

• 38:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  And he still does. He still does. On the last movie, they're still making these movies.

• 38:58Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's like the blindfolded fighting the bull and shit. Crazy.

• 39:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  He does all the bull stunts, Knoxville.

• 39:05Speaker 04

  Nuts.

• 39:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  He does the craziest ones.

• 39:07Speaker 04

  And M. Night Shyamalan's coming on, sitting on a bench in a collared shirt.

• 39:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  This fuck, "Hi, I just thought I'd get out here and take a risk."

• 39:14Speaker 04

  What?

• 39:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Talking on a bench.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's like, that's how, that's how protected that guy is, that that's a risk.

• 39:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 39:21Speaker 04

  "I'm gonna sit here."

• 39:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 39:22Speaker 03

  To take a risk. Meanwhile, there's probably, it's getting shot on a fucking fifty thousand dollar camera.

• 39:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  There's people making all these decisions, so it's like, you're not taking a risk.

• 39:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:30Speaker 03

  The guy getting tased under a bridge is taking a fucking risk.

• 39:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  You know what the risk is? You're right, is, is the criticism. Because guys like him, especially in like proper Hollywood, are so insulated. Nobody tells him that anything is a dumb idea.

• 39:44Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 39:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  There's nobody in his world that is like, "Hey, guy, this fucking sucks."

• 39:49Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  No one's told him that he sucked in a million years.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Whereas stand-ups, people tell us every fucking minute.

• 39:55Speaker 04

  Tell me today.

• 39:57Speaker 03

  That's how I woke him up this morning. I rolled over and said, "You suck."

• 40:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  You suck. Either that, or you always go in by the dumpsters, no matter how big a gig you have.

• 40:06Speaker 03

  You guys walk by the grease trap, ruin your fucking new, my new Nikes that I got for the run. Yeah, it's, it's like, it is, it's obviously, it's a very humbling, uh, but in a good way, you know, it's like, uh,

• 40:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's the best way.

• 40:18Speaker 03

  You can't really lie to yourself a whole, whole bunch.

• 40:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Not with stand-up.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  It's tough, too.

• 40:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  You'll figure it out. You stink.

• 40:25Speaker 04

  I stink.

• 40:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  At stand-up?

• 40:27Speaker 04

  Everything.

• 40:29Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, I was gonna know you stink. M. Night thinks he's great.

• 40:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  He thinks he's, that's the problem. Once you believe your own hype, you're dead.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  Even when we have really good nights on tour, like, you know, where it's like, you know, we're both in the pocket, it's just, you know, great, great stuff. It's like, we did our job. It was like, that is what, you know,

• 40:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 40:47Speaker 03

  is expected of us.

• 40:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  By the way.

• 40:48Speaker 03

  Not like, we're the best. We walk off and go, "Great job, great night."

• 40:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 40:53Speaker 03

  But we, it's either you pass or fail.

• 40:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Do you know how self-loathing I am? I, I got a standing ovation recently, and I ignore it. I, I'm so damaged inside. I, I saw them in my pre-free standing, and I was like, "Gotta go."

• 41:06Speaker 03

  Eh, too much eye contact. Gotta get going.

• 41:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Gotta go. Speaking of, Salt Lake City, uh, Pootah, short like titties, I'm coming to you in October at Wise Guys. Uh, not, not a ton of tickets left, but please, get them now. That's such a fun one. Have you guys done that one?

• 41:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, we've done Wise Guys out there.

• 41:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  I like that club. I like those guys. They're nice people.

• 41:26Speaker 04

  You're on the road, huh?

• 41:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Very minimally, very. I have two dates that I'm doing. One in Chicago, and then one in Salt Lake City for the, the rest of the year. And then I do mothership. I'm at a residency at mothership for, uh, November and part of October, and that's it. I do spots here. You know, with the kids, doing my thing.

• 41:42Speaker 03

  That's fun.

• 41:42Speaker 04

  The Domino's, all that, that's him.

• 41:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, it's a full fucking thing, you know, I, I gotta.

• 41:46Speaker 03

  He's gonna, if I don't do the Domino's, who's gonna eat the Domino's?

• 41:50Speaker 04

  What are the holidays gonna look like? You figured that out yet?

• 41:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 41:52Speaker 04

  Who's doing Thanksgiving?

• 41:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  So, that's a really good question. Because Tom and I are getting along, we're just doing them together.

• 41:59Speaker 03

  Like that. Very nice.

• 42:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, why not?

• 42:02Speaker 03

  That's really good.

• 42:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, we're, we're keeping it together.

• 42:04Speaker 03

  I didn't, I didn't have that.

• 42:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  You guys were not.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  We flip-flopped.

• 42:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  I hate that shit so much.

• 42:10Speaker 03

  It was alright. Uh, yeah, but it wasn't like, we, they didn't, they didn't have a co-parenting type.

• 42:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Not in the eighties.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  No.

• 42:19Speaker 04

  No.

• 42:19Speaker 03

  No, it was like, uh, the cordial, it drop off. Anytime they were together, like if they had to go to back to school night or something, I was like, "Whew, man, this is..." I remember one time I was having surgery, I broke my hand or something when I was like twelve or thirteen, and we had to go down town to a doctor, like to, for the, the surgeon down, like in, you know, like U Penn or something. And we, it was the first time we were ever all, me, my mom, and my dad in a car, and I was just like, "I don't even, I don't even know." And then my mom hit him with like, uh, you know, like, she like, he like blew a yellow light or some, there was some sort of criticism. And I was like, "He could fucking just turn off this bridge right now and just kill us all."

• 43:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was like, uh, I was just, it was like, yeah, they were, it was cool. They never fought in front of each other. And they never bad-mouthed each other, which was good, but.

• 43:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, the shit talker was always behind the scenes.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, they.

• 43:16Speaker 04

  Well, tell your father that, or look who's coming, he's bringing his new girlfriend.

• 43:20Speaker 03

  We never had, there was none of that. My grandmother told my mom, she was like,

• 43:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  I dread that.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  "You cannot, as much as you hate that man, you cannot trash him to, he's still their father."

• 43:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Never, never. And you know what?

• 43:31Speaker 03

  He did a good job of that. Now it's fair game, but now that we're all there.

• 43:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  But also Tommy and I have been friends since we were in our twenties. Like, we started stand-up around the same time. We've been in the trenches. Like, there's such a history.

• 43:42Speaker 03

  That you can't really forget.

• 43:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, it's kinda like this, he's always gonna be family. We're always gonna be family.

• 43:47Speaker 03

  That's a very good outlook. That's very healthy.

• 43:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 43:50Speaker 03

  Prozac or not, you know? Seven thousand milligrams of Prozac or not.

• 43:54Speaker 04

  Plus, here's the good news, everybody's still rich. We're alright.

• 43:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's what I said! We're still rich and alive. It's all good.

• 44:01Speaker 03

  Back on heaters, you know what I mean?

• 44:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Back on heaters. I'm gonna, I'm gonna give myself a year, so I actually contacted the hypnotist that got me off heaters.

• 44:09Speaker 03

  You're crazy.

• 44:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  The first time.

• 44:10Speaker 03

  I contacted me, and Miss Cleo's gonna come. Fucking neuralize me.

• 44:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, she, she helped me twenty years ago. So I said, "You know what? I'm gonna contact her." She goes, "Christina, enjoy the heaters for now." She didn't say heaters, but she's like, "Just stay on it, burn it out."

• 44:23Speaker 03

  It'll burn out on its own, probably. I, I, I have gone, I've flip-flopped a bunch, and it's like, I've gotten to the point where I go, "Oh, these'll never taste good." Like, I just, they, they burn out. There's a shelf life on them.

• 44:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, so right now it's interesting, and then.

• 44:37Speaker 03

  It's fun.

• 44:38Speaker 04

  What time you sleep until, usually? You up in the morning?

• 44:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I have kids. Like, I was up at six this morning to get the kids, you know, for school, and, uh, no, my, my life is very regimented and disciplined still. I can't go off the rails, 'cause I got babies.

• 44:51Speaker 04

  In the bedroom or down in the?

• 44:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, in the bed sometimes. If my kids aren't there, I'll eat, I'll eat the pizza in bed.

• 44:56Speaker 03

  Now, the pizza comes up, are you doing a plate? You eating out of the box?

• 44:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Out of the box. In the hand, the hand plate.

• 45:02Speaker 03

  The hand plate.

• 45:03Speaker 04

  Watching a show?

• 45:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, I don't like watching, uh, I can't, I have a hard time watching stuff. I don't know.

• 45:08Speaker 03

  So what are you doing?

• 45:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  I sit, I scroll, yeah, I like to watch TikToks and stuff.

• 45:14Speaker 03

  Oh, I've heard.

• 45:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I, can we get into those?

• 45:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, these are my favorite part of my life. Alright, let's see. This is a little premature, but why not?

• 45:26Speaker 04

  What the fuck was that?

• 45:30Speaker 03

  You're on a part of the internet I've never seen, and I'm on the internet a lot.

• 45:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  You gotta watch my stories on Instagram.

• 45:37Speaker 03

  I do. I've fallen into deep, deep holes in your story. I was, last night, I believe I did. Yeah, it's, it's not good. It's not a safe place.

• 45:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  But why is he doing this? Can we watch it again? It's really, it's barefoot. He's barefoot, too. It's like a smack.

• 45:54Speaker 04

  M. Night, this is what you gotta do.

• 45:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Uh, why are you doing it?

• 46:01Speaker 03

  It feels like it doesn't need to be that violent. You know what I mean? Like, the, the, the first ninety percent of it has a lot of grace. He like, it's like jujitsu-esque, and then he fucking smashes his legs down.

• 46:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  But why does he have to do that?

• 46:15Speaker 03

  I don't think he has to do it. I don't think.

• 46:17Speaker 04

  For views, his art. What do you mean?

• 46:19Speaker 03

  Why does he have to? It's not like how he gets around.

• 46:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's just so fun to watch him hurt himself.

• 46:28Speaker 03

  He's also a big guy to be moving like that. You know what I mean? That's like a clunky guy.

• 46:34Speaker 04

  It's gonna hurt in the morning.

• 46:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know, he is way too big. Like, um, my only least favorite walk, or gait, as they call it, is when fat guys walk on their tippy toes, 'cause their calves are so strong. Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you do that, Paulie?

• 46:50Speaker 03

  No, he, you know, fat, yeah, yeah, fat guys have a certain, have like, there's like three or four unique fat guy walks. And you don't have, you have a regular guy.

• 47:00Speaker 04

  I remember you telling me that. That went away. It feels good.

• 47:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're fat, yeah, you're fat guy, you have like a normal guy walk gait in a fat guy body, so that was like, but now everything, there's not as much friction, everything's moving like a normal guy.

• 47:15Speaker 04

  Feel like I'm gliding.

• 47:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Now, when you burp, are you still burping up rotten eggs?

• 47:20Speaker 04

  No, not with this that much. I really, I don't fight it anymore. So like, I really, you know, I got hit with the newspaper so many times where I eat small, like, I don't eat until I'm full. It just doesn't do it for me anymore. I don't like feeling full.

• 47:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, 'cause it makes you wanna throw up.

• 47:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, which I do a little bit sometimes, which is good.

• 47:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  What are you picking out on?

• 47:39Speaker 03

  Gotta keep my edge, you know what I mean? Can't just turn into one of those pussies who doesn't puke.

• 47:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  What are you, what, what pushes you into puking?

• 47:47Speaker 04

  Uh, nothing really anymore. Like, if, if it catches me and I feel full, I'll just go in and make myself throw up. The only thing I would say I'm indulging in is like, uh, fruity candy every once in a while, that's it.

• 47:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like, like Mentos?

• 47:59Speaker 04

  You know, Nerds clusters, Skittles. Yeah, but that's really it. Yeah, I'm over it. I like feeling good and, you know, for me, looking good.

• 48:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 48:09Speaker 04

  You know?

• 48:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  I've really been into Cheez-Its lately, too.

• 48:14Speaker 03

  Girl after my own heart. "I'm married, lady, get off, back away."

• 48:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  There's nothing like, after I've had the wine, and it's like the last thing I eat before bed, and that nice salty cheesiness, crunchiness.

• 48:27Speaker 03

  I almost pulled the trigger last night at a gas station on some Cheez-Its, but I didn't.

• 48:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  But they're so fresh. Like, how do they fucking stink?

• 48:35Speaker 03

  How do you feel about the extra toasty? These are very divisive in the Cheez-It, in the Cheez-It realm.

• 48:39Speaker 04

  There's a white cheddar.

• 48:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Nah, fuck your mother white cheddar.

• 48:42Speaker 03

  What am I, in the X Games? Who fucking eats that shit?

• 48:45Speaker 04

  My mom bought that shit once at Christmas. We almost threw it in the house.

• 48:47Speaker 03

  It gets on your hands. That's what's great about Cheez-Its, is there's no residue.

• 48:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  No residue. And it smells like, like shit.

• 48:54Speaker 03

  Smells like from under cheese.

• 48:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I don't like those at all, dude.

• 48:57Speaker 04

  You brushing your teeth at night still?

• 48:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, yeah, I'm still into hygiene. You know what I really got into is Takis. My kids are into those.

• 49:04Speaker 03

  I never fucked with them. They're having a moment. The internet made those like really kinda cool.

• 49:09Speaker 04

  Flamin' Hot Cheetos, you like them?

• 49:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 49:11Speaker 04

  Ooh, they're alright.

• 49:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 49:12Speaker 03

  That's ratchet shit.

• 49:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's ratchet. Takis are where it's at, dude. I mean, you gotta try it. Do yourself a favor. Don't eat the blue ones.

• 49:18Speaker 03

  It is kinda crazy, 'cause you're like a proper, single mom. Like, you could go real the wrong way. You're at a, I just hit me, you're at a very volatile moment in your life, where you could go the wrong.

• 49:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  What could happen? Like, I gained five hundred pounds?

• 49:31Speaker 03

  Nah, not even that.

• 49:32Speaker 04

  Start dating a veteran or something like that, who knows?

• 49:36Speaker 03

  Okay, a cop or something?

• 49:37Speaker 04

  Going to softball games?

• 49:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's-

• 49:41Speaker 04

  Some guy in a band.

• 49:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, who would I date in a band?

• 49:45Speaker 03

  Not even a good band. Like, you could probably date someone in the fucking, you know, the Foo Fighters or something. But don't go dating like a guy in a fucking cover band who works on Sixth Street.

• 49:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why not? Listen, I DM'd Zac Efron. Have not heard back yet, Zac Efron.

• 49:58Speaker 03

  Really?

• 49:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, cuz I met him in the green room and he liked-

• 50:01Speaker 03

  Good for you!

• 50:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  He liked my set and then Dunkin' was in here last time and he's like, "Listen, every girl sucks that guy's dick." You gotta DM him and be like, "I am not gonna suck your dick, Zac Efron."

• 50:10Speaker 03

  Is that what you said to Zac Efron?

• 50:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, let's see if he's answered.

• 50:13Speaker 03

  Is he married?

• 50:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Shit, is he fucking married?

• 50:14Speaker 03

  I don't know. I mean, you didn't fact-check that? Send it off, "I'm not," you're insane.

• 50:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm such a boomer. I don't, I don't know. Let's see.

• 50:22Speaker 03

  Okay, boomer.

• 50:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't know how this works. Oh, by the way, you know what I'm gonna do when I am ready? Yeah, he hasn't answered me. He hasn't even seen the message.

• 50:29Speaker 03

  He finds his DMs are probably closed. That guy, that guy in DMs. What the fuck's he in DMs for?

• 50:35Speaker 04

  "Hey, think so? You're like seventeen again or whatever the fuck it's called."

• 50:39Speaker 03

  He's not fucking DM-

• 50:40Speaker 04

  Wait, he's the kid from High School Musical, right? That's who we're talking about?

• 50:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't know.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  He's the guy that got all that fucking, he had to broke his jaw or whatever. He got that huge-

• 50:46Speaker 04

  He had an accident.

• 50:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  He did? Oh, now I like him even more. He's all damaged. That's good for me. People are saying I should date Fifty Cent.

• 50:53Speaker 03

  Ah, shout out to, I'm a big Fifty Cent guy.

• 50:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Same, I like him. I date him.

• 50:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, maybe. That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a turn.

• 51:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  I've never had a black.

• 51:03Speaker 03

  Okay, I don't think you will if you say it like that either.

• 51:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't know, we'll see.

• 51:08Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I, I get that. That's, you know.

• 51:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 51:12Speaker 03

  But you're, you know, I think you're doing a good job of your, your, uh, you know, get the heaters back, the-

• 51:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's slow. It's slow. Step by step.

• 51:19Speaker 03

  It's fun. You gotta, you're blowing off a little steam.

• 51:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, that's right. Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys.

• 51:23Speaker 04

  We don't really see anything too alarming here.

• 51:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, well, give-

• 51:26Speaker 04

  You should be worried about.

• 51:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Give it some time. No, I'm actually, I'm, I'm getting better. I'm getting, I'm getting, I stopped eating the Domino's recently.

• 51:32Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 51:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  So, and I'm making art again. Like, I, I've been making silly art, like cat art and stuff, like I-

• 51:37Speaker 03

  What's cat art?

• 51:38Speaker 04

  Wait, what?

• 51:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  I sell paintings. These guys know. I sold one for a hundred thousand dollars.

• 51:43Speaker 03

  Paintings?

• 51:43Speaker 04

  Paintings?

• 51:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:44Speaker 04

  You're painting?

• 51:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can you bring up, uh, fuck, fuck around and find out? I sold it for a hundred thousand dollars. And then I also did portraits of Tom naked wrestling bears and things like that. You go ahead and show my art. I'm working on a piece right now. I'll be-

• 51:56Speaker 03

  I don't know if this is a bit or not.

• 51:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's not a bit. I swear to God. I make bad art and I, I mean fantastic art and I sell it. I swear to God. I swear. Find the one of me wrestling, of, of naked Tom.

• 52:07Speaker 03

  You're lying.

• 52:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right? I promise you.

• 52:08Speaker 03

  I don't know what's, I don't, I-

• 52:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  I swear to God, I'm not lying.

• 52:12Speaker 03

  I feel like this is a Nathan Fielder bit. I don't know, I don't know what world I'm in.

• 52:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, okay, work, work. You guys find my artwork and the meantime, I'm gonna show them this next bit. This is pretty cool.

• 52:28Speaker 04

  Yikes. His wife must hate him.

• 52:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know, right? I know.

• 52:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude.

• 52:36Speaker 03

  Why's the shirt so tight?

• 52:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 52:39Speaker 03

  I don't get that.

• 52:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 52:41Speaker 04

  It's a perfectly good watermelon. Oh, there's the painting right there.

• 52:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, that's, that's a fuck around and find out.

• 52:45Speaker 03

  That's a really good painting.

• 52:46Speaker 04

  I wouldn't call that cat art. I was worried you were doing like taxidermy on dead cats.

• 52:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, I thought it was like you were taking hair from a cat and doing stuff with it.

• 52:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, no.

• 52:55Speaker 03

  You're a painter.

• 52:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, this is great. And then can I, can we pull up the one I- There's two of Tom on the mantle. No, no, no. That one's Tom as a cat. But where's the one of him in a bear? When he's naked wrestling a bear? Find that one.

• 53:07Speaker 03

  How long have you been doing this?

• 53:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  My whole life, really.

• 53:10Speaker 03

  You know, some are born with it.

• 53:12Speaker 04

  That one?

• 53:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, yeah, here.

• 53:13Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 53:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  This one I did

• 53:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  when Tom choked and he went, he went, "What's everybody?" So that's him as a cat choking.

• 53:24Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 53:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  What do you mean, "okay"? This is beautiful.

• 53:28Speaker 03

  That seems a little, you know, that's different than that, I think you have to say.

• 53:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  What, what do you mean? This is perfect. I don't know.

• 53:34Speaker 03

  It's perfect.

• 53:37Speaker 04

  That's got school shooter written on it right there.

• 53:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  This one?

• 53:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:40Speaker 04

  A little bit.

• 53:41Speaker 03

  I mean, there's some, there's some Elmer's glue involved in that.

• 53:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, here we go. This one's pretty good. Go ahead.

• 53:46Speaker 03

  Let me see that.

• 53:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, this is the first naked Tom. But then there's Tom wrestling a bear.

• 53:51Speaker 03

  Did you put a piece of tape there?

• 53:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  To cover his dick, cuz we had to show it on the show.

• 53:55Speaker 03

  Gotcha.

• 53:56Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 53:56Speaker 03

  That's a good, I mean, that's good. That's really good.

• 53:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's got a tiny painter in there.

• 54:00Speaker 03

  Christina P. Eight twenty-three, twenty-five? Yeah, so a year, a year ago.

• 54:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I was bored. Anyway, I got some big artwork coming up, you guys.

• 54:06Speaker 03

  Very cool.

• 54:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Get ready, get ready.

• 54:07Speaker 03

  What you should do, are you gonna do like a gallery? Do, run out of space, do a gallery?

• 54:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's a great idea.

• 54:11Speaker 03

  It's a great idea. I'll take ten percent.

• 54:12Speaker 04

  Figure food, stuff like that.

• 54:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm gonna do a show, a full show. All right, what do you guys think of the watermelon guy?

• 54:19Speaker 03

  Uh...

• 54:21Speaker 04

  Yeah. It's a good watermelon. It's red.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  This is very, just like, you know, what these people are doing. I don't know, I don't, I don't know. How you ever figured out you could do that?

• 54:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Uh, there was no, I've come very close to doing that. You've never like been in dire straits. Okay, how, how about this? You're trying to open a bottle of wine. There's no wine opener. So you do the fucking same method. You punch it down, right?

• 54:47Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 54:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Same shit. So he's like, "I gotta eat this watermelon. There's no knives. I'm in Saudi Arabia."

• 54:52Speaker 03

  That guy doesn't need to eat anything.

• 54:53Speaker 04

  Is that what he's doing it for? To eat the watermelon?

• 54:57Speaker 03

  There's no way.

• 54:57Speaker 04

  How does this play out?

• 54:59Speaker 03

  No, you wouldn't keep doing it. He's got it open. He could then start... I don't know. This is, this is a weird-

• 55:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  You know, it's, it's too upsetting. Let's go. Next.

• 55:08Speaker 03

  Oh, this guy's bad.

• 55:09Speaker 04

  What's he doing now? Those potatoes?

• 55:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Walnuts. With his fingers, dude!

• 55:17Speaker 04

  Ooh!

• 55:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, that's pretty good, right?

• 55:23Speaker 03

  This guy's probably brutal on an iPhone.

• 55:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 55:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  I feel like I had Hungarian uncles that would do this type of shit.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  Where's he from?

• 55:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's Arabic or some kind? Yeah. This is typical Eastern European shit, too.

• 55:39Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 55:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 55:41Speaker 04

  Okay, you could date that guy. What the fuck?

• 55:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's pretty good talent.

• 55:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Remember that kid in elementary school that could do that?

• 55:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, he's blowing a bubble with a spit and then the bubble blows away. That's pretty hard.

• 55:56Speaker 03

  I, I could never figure that out.

• 55:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Me neither.

• 55:58Speaker 03

  In any sense.

• 55:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  I could never do that. I could never... Now, oh, the whistle, like this thing. I could never do that.

• 56:07Speaker 04

  Can you flip your eyelids?

• 56:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 56:08Speaker 04

  No?

• 56:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Do you?

• 56:09Speaker 03

  That's a tough kid.

• 56:09Speaker 04

  No.

• 56:10Speaker 03

  It's a bad kid.

• 56:11Speaker 04

  I know a kid that could gleek consistently.

• 56:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's tough, too.

• 56:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  I knew a girl that could queef on command.

• 56:16Speaker 04

  Jesus.

• 56:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:18Speaker 03

  I had a friend that could fart on command. You could hear him suck the air in through his ass.

• 56:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Damn.

• 56:22Speaker 03

  Crazy. And I had another friend that could puke on command.

• 56:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't like that.

• 56:25Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 56:25Speaker 03

  It was wild. His name was Scott. And the one time we were riding a bike and he was like coming towards us and like, we were like, "Yo, puke!" And then he, "Ah!" It just like immediately happened.

• 56:35Speaker 04

  Holy shit, that's awful.

• 56:36Speaker 03

  It was crazy.

• 56:37Speaker 04

  Date that guy!

• 56:38Speaker 03

  It was crazy. That, and one time, I, I feel bad about this, but he did it at a pizza place cuz he didn't have any money. So he just threw up on the table and they were like, "Get out of here!" And he used to say later, they'd offer like a dollar fifty slap. I felt really, looking back, whoa.

• 56:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Now, come on.

• 56:53Speaker 04

  That's not bad.

• 56:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's not terrible.

• 56:55Speaker 03

  That's really good.

• 56:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, thank you. That's, so this is-

• 56:57Speaker 04

  Is that a dog?

• 56:59Speaker 03

  It's a bear?

• 57:00Speaker 04

  A bear dog? You're good with the signature.

• 57:03Speaker 03

  Signature's great.

• 57:04Speaker 04

  You got that down.

• 57:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  What about, look at Tom's dingus.

• 57:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, I don't know if I'm looking at it correctly, but it looks very small. Obviously, this isn't, this isn't, this isn't, obviously, you were a little upset that day.

• 57:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is a precursor to the divorce.

• 57:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Um, oh, did you ever know anybody that could burp the entire alphabet?

• 57:24Speaker 03

  In one burp?

• 57:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 57:25Speaker 03

  No, I could do it like A, like start, like-

• 57:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 57:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm talking one free burp. You guys call yourself trash.

• 57:32Speaker 03

  I would puke, though. If I burped too much, I puke.

• 57:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Really?

• 57:35Speaker 03

  I would get to like T, U, V, and I would throw up. Kind of a ladies' man.

• 57:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  The taser, the burping.

• 57:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, kind of, uh, you know?

• 57:45Speaker 04

  I could take my nuts and cover my whole penis with it.

• 57:48Speaker 03

  They call it the bat wing.

• 57:49Speaker 04

  Yeah. I could do that. I got that going on. Do you want something real? Yeah, yeah! I hate these people.

• 57:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  I hate it.

• 58:04Speaker 04

  That wedding must've sucked.

• 58:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fuck, that stressed me out. Can you imagine being a guest at that fucking wedding?

• 58:16Speaker 03

  I just put myself literally sit in fucking Chris Ross applesauce there.

• 58:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  And you know it's a dry wedding. You know it's a dry wedding.

• 58:24Speaker 04

  Or a cash bar.

• 58:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, fuck right off.

• 58:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, they stink.

• 58:27Speaker 03

  I don't...

• 58:28Speaker 04

  Anything like that at a wedding. When the bridal party comes in, dancing.

• 58:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh my god.

• 58:33Speaker 04

  Get out of here.

• 58:34Speaker 03

  I don't, I, I, there's this, and maybe it's just different, because, I don't, you know, I don't, I just a perspective thing or something? And we, you know, we get to perform a lot. Maybe these people wanna perform and like to perform, they don't have an outline, that's like, I don't know, there's a lot of like choreographed dances and stuff? With like the groomsmen, the bridal party, the mom, the dad, it's like, I just go like, just knock it all, why is this, why is it a spectacle?

• 58:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean weddings are painful enough to fucking sit through.

• 59:00Speaker 03

  Act like you and your dad are dancing well together?

• 59:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh my god.

• 59:04Speaker 03

  Cause you've hit the dougie or something?

• 59:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, not only that, it's hot as shit out there, they're all barefoot, and you know, you know it's a, it is a dry wedding, because they're hippies, because I've been to these hippie weddings? And then you have to sneak out to the parking lot and get drunk the whole time.

• 59:17Speaker 03

  I wouldn't, yeah, if, if, say this was my wife's friend, I would just go like, ah, I can't make it, I gotta be in Tulsa that weekend. That would be like a...

• 59:26Speaker 04

  He had a nice wedding, right? Wedding was good?

• 59:29Speaker 03

  Wedding was nice, he had a nice wedding.

• 59:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah?

• 59:31Speaker 04

  Good wedding?

• 59:32Speaker 03

  Very nice wedding.

• 59:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  You did?

• 59:33Speaker 03

  No, he did.

• 59:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, you did? What'd you do?

• 59:35Speaker 04

  Hawaii?

• 59:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh!

• 59:37Speaker 04

  It was nice.

• 59:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Whoa, that's...

• 59:38Speaker 04

  Two hundred people, fairy tale sunset, it was a nice party, right?

• 59:41Speaker 03

  Very nice party. I literally, I was proud at one point, because I walked out from smoking a cig and I was like walking back in and it was like, it was outside on, you know, on like the cliffs or the whatever the fuck, and I went, "It's crazy that we've created something that can fund this."

• 59:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's amazing!

• 59:59Speaker 03

  I felt like I was at Brad Pitt's wedding.

• 1:00:00Speaker 04

  Really couldn't fund it.

• 1:00:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hawaii, two hundred people, that's a lot of scratch. Wait, where, where in Hawaii?

• 1:00:06Speaker 04

  Uh, Koalina on Oahu.

• 1:00:09Speaker 03

  It was, it was genuinely crazy.

• 1:00:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Jesus Christ!

• 1:00:12Speaker 04

  Two hundred grand.

• 1:00:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Of course!

• 1:00:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Damn dude, good for you though, you should go hard.

• 1:00:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was fun.

• 1:00:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:18Speaker 04

  Pretty good time. Pretty good time, right?

• 1:00:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Did you sing like this? Did you do your mouse?

• 1:00:24Speaker 04

  None of this.

• 1:00:24Speaker 03

  He did do ten minutes though.

• 1:00:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  You did?

• 1:00:26Speaker 03

  New stuff wasn't great.

• 1:00:29Speaker 03

  Had to light them early.

• 1:00:30Speaker 04

  A lot of Palestine, Israel stuff, packed. Yeah, stuff like this drives me wild.

• 1:00:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  What kind of food did you have? Pigs in a blanket at least?

• 1:00:38Speaker 04

  No, we had a potpourri, we had some, uh, what's it called, um, what's the stuff I'm thinking of?

• 1:00:44Speaker 03

  Spam.

• 1:00:45Speaker 04

  No, we had muesli, we had, um, what am I thinking of? The tuna?

• 1:00:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Spam fried rice crush is so fucking hard in Hawaii though.

• 1:00:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, why can't I think of it? What's those stuff, the seafood stuff?

• 1:00:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Poo poo?

• 1:00:56Speaker 04

  No, what am I talking about?

• 1:00:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Tuna? That, that, that raw shit they always eat.

• 1:01:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, fuck, what's it called?

• 1:01:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Pookie pokey?

• 1:01:02Speaker 03

  I don't know what you're talking about.

• 1:01:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  How come poopy?

• 1:01:03Speaker 04

  Poke, we had pork sliders.

• 1:01:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:06Speaker 04

  We had, uh, merasadas.

• 1:01:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:08Speaker 04

  Bunch of drinks, coffee station.

• 1:01:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 1:01:11Speaker 04

  The whole nine yards.

• 1:01:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  You had a pig? Did you do some pork?

• 1:01:14Speaker 04

  Not into a pig.

• 1:01:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well.

• 1:01:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, just me.

• 1:01:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, it lasted about, uh, ten months and then we were out of there.

• 1:01:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Damn dude.

• 1:01:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, no.

• 1:01:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Alright, what about this? What do you think about his outfit today?

• 1:01:26Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:01:30Speaker 04

  Is that the guy that goes, "My money don't jingle jingle"?

• 1:01:32Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:01:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love that song.

• 1:01:33Speaker 03

  That's Louis, Louis, Louis Theroux. Theroux?

• 1:01:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Louis Theroux.

• 1:01:37Speaker 03

  I love that guy.

• 1:01:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love him too. So this gentleman likes to post his outfit of the day, and I thought this one was particularly nice. Yeah.

• 1:01:45Speaker 04

  It's nice?

• 1:01:46Speaker 03

  For us in the biz, okay? O O T D.

• 1:01:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  O O T D.

• 1:01:51Speaker 04

  I respect it.

• 1:01:52Speaker 03

  Um...

• 1:01:53Speaker 04

  Is this what you're watching?

• 1:01:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, so she's doing, I don't get, I don't, again, I don't know, because I have a creative outlet.

• 1:02:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right.

• 1:02:00Speaker 03

  Maybe if I didn't, I would be doing this shit.

• 1:02:03Speaker 04

  I'd be rolling down a hill.

• 1:02:05Speaker 03

  I, you know, I don't know what, I don't know, this is all very, I don't know what he gets out of it.

• 1:02:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hmm.

• 1:02:12Speaker 04

  Scene.

• 1:02:13Speaker 03

  Scene, is that what it is? So it's just the eyeballs, it's the attention?

• 1:02:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's a pervert, sweetie, he's his...

• 1:02:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's getting boners.

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  That's also, I don't think anybody's ever said that sentence ever, "He's a pervert, sweetie." Obviously, he's a Chester the mo- you know that, honey.

• 1:02:29Speaker 04

  I remember the first time I was called a pervert by my uncle.

• 1:02:32Speaker 03

  Calling to his underwear.

• 1:02:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  For what?

• 1:02:33Speaker 04

  Called me watching someone on Skinamax, we were about to eat dinner, he's like, "What the hell are you doing, pervert?" I'm like, "God damn!"

• 1:02:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  See, that's the thing, is that we need to start calling perverts out again.

• 1:02:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Everything became too normalized, and now you can't just be like, "Yeah, this guy's just a fucking pervert, stay away from this one."

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  That was, that was, that was a thing in the, in the eighties and nineties, it was just like, "Ah, that guy's a pervert, stay away from it," it was just very like,

• 1:02:56Speaker 04

  "That damn pervert?"

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:58Speaker 04

  A freak.

• 1:02:58Speaker 03

  If you get got, it was kinda your fault, we told you he was a pervert, we told you not to go over his house.

• 1:03:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:03Speaker 03

  It's your fault.

• 1:03:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  But that's what I tell my kids, when they're like, "Mommy, what's going on here?", I go, "They're mentally ill, the wires are crossed, just stay away from them."

• 1:03:10Speaker 03

  Sure, yeah, yeah, tend to keep a radius on that guy.

• 1:03:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Stay away, don't even fucking look over there, man.

• 1:03:15Speaker 03

  That's a very good way to, it's a very good way to raise them.

• 1:03:18Speaker 04

  That's a freak, son.

• 1:03:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's right, don't even talk to them, be nice to them, be, be kind, but you don't need to, come on.

• 1:03:25Speaker 04

  No vacations.

• 1:03:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, this is awesome.

• 1:03:27Speaker 03

  That's great!

• 1:03:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah!

• 1:03:29Speaker 03

  That's what we're talking about!

• 1:03:30Speaker 04

  Is that a roto?

• 1:03:31Speaker 03

  Yeah!

• 1:03:32Speaker 04

  Alright, now we're going somewhere.

• 1:03:34Speaker 03

  Where do you fucking lead with this?

• 1:03:35Speaker 04

  There you go.

• 1:03:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sorry guys.

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  This is it.

• 1:03:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  I found it.

• 1:03:38Speaker 03

  That's great!

• 1:03:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 1:03:40Speaker 03

  But would it be dripping? That's gotta be a dry bird if it's not dripping on your dashboard, because I like a, I like a moist bird.

• 1:03:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love a rotisserie chick, but the thing is, why isn't it falling apart? It's not cooked well enough, yeah?

• 1:03:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, because the ones you get, the legs are just, they like, they pop right off.

• 1:03:56Speaker 04

  The underside of that, it's like human skin.

• 1:03:58Speaker 03

  There's a short shelf life on a, on a roto. We're, we're, obviously, we're big roto guys.

• 1:04:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Same.

• 1:04:05Speaker 03

  There's a short shelf life on them, you gotta hit it and move real quick.

• 1:04:08Speaker 04

  Twenty-five minutes, that's it.

• 1:04:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:10Speaker 04

  It's like a carnival goldfish.

• 1:04:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, my mom got sick from eating a rotisserie that was sitting around too long at Gelson's, yeah.

• 1:04:16Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:04:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, you gotta, you gotta go, you're right, you gotta get in there.

• 1:04:19Speaker 03

  Now, this is a question that we've been talking about recently on the show, what do you do, that pizza, you know, you get your, you say you crush, you're, you're being bad, you crush half the pizza?

• 1:04:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:28Speaker 03

  Right? What is the, what is the other half, where's that live?

• 1:04:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  In the trash.

• 1:04:33Speaker 04

  Throw it out.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  You just trash it right away, you don't save it.

• 1:04:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, here's why, I'll, I'll tell you why. I like a freshy, is what I call them, I go, "A freshy." Look, it, you know, fifteen dollars later, I get a freshy, to me, it's worth it, like, I don't like old Domino's, because it's, it's only good when it's hot and fresh.

• 1:04:50Speaker 03

  It's a different pie, you're not wrong.

• 1:04:51Speaker 04

  You won't have a slice the next morning after you left it out?

• 1:04:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'll nuke it, and, and I, but then it's too hot, it's too hot.

• 1:04:56Speaker 04

  Really? You'll nuke it, that's crazy!

• 1:04:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, the problem is, it's too hot, and then it gets hard, so how do I heat it up the next day?

• 1:05:03Speaker 04

  You don't, you leave it out.

• 1:05:05Speaker 03

  You know, you know what you do? Frying pan, little bit of water, put a lid on it.

• 1:05:10Speaker 04

  Or an air fryer.

• 1:05:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Now it's all soppy, isn't it?

• 1:05:12Speaker 03

  No, it's not, it, the, it, the bottom gets, see if you can find that video, or the steps to that, the bottom gets perfect, and then this, the water causes the steam to melt the cheese on top without getting too hot.

• 1:05:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is way too advanced.

• 1:05:23Speaker 04

  Leave it on the bed, eat it cold.

• 1:05:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, oh yeah, you eat it cold, but if you wanna reheat, that's what you'd do.

• 1:05:29Speaker 04

  What's on that pie, by the way?

• 1:05:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, here's what I like to do, I go pep, obviously.

• 1:05:34Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:05:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Um, double cheese if I can that day, if I'm feeling it, I like mushroom, I like pepper chenilles, um, fuck olives, fuck your mother with olives.

• 1:05:45Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:05:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sometimes I'll get the sausage bits on there, depending on my mood.

• 1:05:49Speaker 03

  I love their sausage.

• 1:05:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's so good!

• 1:05:52Speaker 03

  They did it differently than everybody from Jumps...

• 1:05:53Speaker 04

  Broken up sausage is the best.

• 1:05:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, then, you know, like, you know, I don't want to dial the, the, you know, the fifty cent pizza.

• 1:06:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, and I don't like the chicken, I feel like that makes it too healthy.

• 1:06:03Speaker 03

  I don't like chicken on pizza.

• 1:06:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  Me neither.

• 1:06:05Speaker 03

  Too trash. I lo- I love a buffalo chicken slice, barbecue chicken, but like, it doesn't, it doesn't belong there, I like it, but it don't belong there.

• 1:06:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can I tell you what I've also been doing with my Domino's? I get dipping sauces, I get a ranch, I get a buffalo.

• 1:06:18Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:06:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  And then I get an extra of the sauce, and between those three, it's heaven.

• 1:06:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm all about that.

• 1:06:23Speaker 04

  What are you drinking with that?

• 1:06:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Uh, Diet Coke DC.

• 1:06:26Speaker 03

  Out of what vessel?

• 1:06:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Uh, cans that I have at the house.

• 1:06:30Speaker 03

  Cold cans?

• 1:06:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:31Speaker 03

  The little guys are the main, the regular stuff.

• 1:06:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  The little guys, little guys. I know, I like the little guys.

• 1:06:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, what are we, on a plane?

• 1:06:37Speaker 03

  Some people like them.

• 1:06:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  I like them, because I don't want a whole can.

• 1:06:39Speaker 03

  How many are you doing? You're not do, you're just doing one of them with a, with a pie?

• 1:06:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:44Speaker 03

  I would, I'm not even joking, I would need, when I go, I'll go get slices of pizza at the place next to my house, I'll get three slices, and I'll get a twenty ounce bottle, and then a can kicker, I need a lot of soda.

• 1:06:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 1:06:55Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:06:56Speaker 03

  I'm a bite and sip guy, I bite, I sip, I bite, I can't, I can't govern.

• 1:07:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, what are you gonna do on your pizza? What's your pizza order?

• 1:07:04Speaker 04

  Uh, Domino's, I do bacon pizza.

• 1:07:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, sorry, I forgot the bacon, I forgot the bacon, the bacon's amazing.

• 1:07:09Speaker 04

  I do bacon pizza.

• 1:07:10Speaker 03

  I love their pep too.

• 1:07:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  The pep's fucking, okay, so here's your video that you wanted to show, let's see this.

• 1:07:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Medium low.

• 1:07:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 1:07:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, fuck this guy.

• 1:07:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't wanna watch him eat, I don't like it.

• 1:07:32Speaker 03

  You don't wanna watch me eat?

• 1:07:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't like watching him eat it.

• 1:07:34Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:07:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  It felt braggy, I don't like it.

• 1:07:37Speaker 03

  I don't like this guy's attitude.

• 1:07:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, fuck you.

• 1:07:39Speaker 04

  The running of the knife on the bottom of something to show how crispy it is?

• 1:07:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  I hate that shit. They all do that on YouTube.

• 1:07:45Speaker 04

  That's all fully artist shit anyway, they had that in.

• 1:07:47Speaker 03

  That's M. Night Shyamalan's next movie, I hear.

• 1:07:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Shit, motherfucker. Alright, here we go.

• 1:07:55Speaker 03

  Is that on his wiener?

• 1:07:56Speaker 04

  Jesus Christ!

• 1:08:01Speaker 03

  Let's see Tom try to do that.

• 1:08:02Speaker 04

  What the fuck?

• 1:08:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  They really know what they're doing in India.

• 1:08:10Speaker 03

  Well, it's all that free time.

• 1:08:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 1:08:12Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 1:08:12Speaker 04

  We need a big war, we really do. We need a big war.

• 1:08:16Speaker 03

  That guy just brushed his hands, like, he was like, "Ah, job well done, did it again, babe."

• 1:08:21Speaker 04

  I'm hitting the showers, boys.

• 1:08:22Speaker 03

  Clogging out of the fucking dick stretching factory.

• 1:08:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, these, I've been, speaking of India, I'm really into these videos lately. Face waxing?

• 1:08:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fuck dude.

• 1:08:36Speaker 03

  Why is it so much?

• 1:08:39Speaker 04

  Get the trimmer.

• 1:08:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, it's too much, did he, no! Fuck off!

• 1:08:44Speaker 03

  At this point, if I was him, I'd be going, "I can live the rest of my life with this glue on my head."

• 1:08:48Speaker 04

  Just leave it, just leave it!

• 1:08:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll, I'll figure that out.

• 1:08:52Speaker 04

  That probably lasts like two hours too.

• 1:08:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah! Oh, fuck dude!

• 1:08:57Speaker 04

  This guy's got a hot date.

• 1:08:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, not on the nose, fuck off, oh, fuck, oh!

• 1:09:07Speaker 03

  I love how you're like, "I don't like watching that guy eat," but then this is the next video.

• 1:09:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is in the street, too. This is outside.

• 1:09:14Speaker 03

  Everything in India is outside. I don't think they have an inside. From the videos I've seen, there's no inside in India.

• 1:09:20Speaker 04

  That infection's gonna be brutal.

• 1:09:26Speaker 03

  Am I wrong? Is there any video that takes place in four walls and a roof in India? I don't think-

• 1:09:33Speaker 04

  That's crazy. You ever see the guy cooking with his feet? He sits across-

• 1:09:36Speaker 03

  That's every guy.

• 1:09:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes! I love that guy. He puts his hand in the curry and then he fucking touches his feet.

• 1:09:43Speaker 04

  They have a nuclear weapon. You believe that?

• 1:09:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 1:09:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's called chicken tikka masala, huh?

• 1:09:48Speaker 04

  Start with a health inspector, will you, boys? Jesus Christ, shout out to them.

• 1:09:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  You guys are the best. I'm so glad you came. Thank you so much. What are we plugging?

• 1:09:56Speaker 03

  Uh, we have a comedy special on YouTube out right now on our channel. It's called American Garbage. Uh, we play Are You Garbage with the audience. They ask their questions.

• 1:10:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh my god.

• 1:10:07Speaker 03

  So it's like, is it garbage if, you know, whatever.

• 1:10:10Speaker 04

  They're part of the show. We did it down in Tampa at SideSplitters.

• 1:10:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, that's the garbageiest club in the world!

• 1:10:16Speaker 03

  We were like, "That's where we have to do it."

• 1:10:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Tampa!

• 1:10:18Speaker 03

  So it was perfect, yeah.

• 1:10:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sucks, Tampa.

• 1:10:21Speaker 03

  I love Tampa.

• 1:10:21Speaker 04

  What? Sucks?

• 1:10:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, no. I mean, in terms of like, Tampa is its own beast.

• 1:10:27Speaker 03

  A hundred percent. It's not a- no, I know what you mean by sucks.

• 1:10:30Speaker 04

  Like, like, India. Yeah, exactly.

• 1:10:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 1:10:34Speaker 03

  Um, so yeah, it's on our YouTube page. Uh, please check it out. If you've never watched Are You Garbage, please go check out-

• 1:10:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, please.

• 1:10:39Speaker 03

  I mean, Christina and Tom each have multiple episodes.

• 1:10:42Speaker 04

  Queen of the trash.

• 1:10:42Speaker 03

  Yeah. Or you only have one!

• 1:10:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  I only have one and I got-

• 1:10:45Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:10:45Speaker 04

  That's all she needed.

• 1:10:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Voted the queen, yeah.

• 1:10:47Speaker 03

  Well, next time you come back, or next time you're in New York, we'll do one.

• 1:10:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Definitely. I would love to do that. You guys are my absolute favorite. I love you.

• 1:10:54Speaker 04

  Thank you so much.

• 1:10:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Trash. Oh, Salt Lake City Poo Talk, come check me out in October. And, uh, that's it. Thank you guys for being here.

• 1:11:00Speaker 04

  Thanks, buddy. It's good to see you.

• 1:11:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Good to see you, too.

• 1:11:04Tom Segura?

  This dude...

• 1:11:07Tom Segura?

  This kid crawls under a stall-

• 1:11:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:09Tom Segura?

  -in the bathroom. But I'm thinking that look in his eye is, uh, revealing.

• 1:11:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's touched?

• 1:11:17Tom Segura?

  I think so.

• 1:11:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Either he's touched, or he's on drugs. Like, he's tweaking on something and he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing?

• 1:11:23Tom Segura?

  You'd never crawl under a stall. I'm taking this shit, homie.

• 1:11:28Speaker 06

  Hey, what you doing? What you doing? Hey, what you doing? What you doing, homie? Hey, what you doing? What you doing?

• 1:11:39Tom Segura?

  What are you doing?

• 1:11:40Speaker 06

  Hey, my boy, I'm taking this shit, dawg. I'm taking this shit. Boy, I'm taking this shit, dawg. Yeah, I'm taking this shit. What you doing, my boy? I'm taking this shit, homie.

• 1:11:51Tom Segura?

  He's definitely taking a shit. I actually can't believe how much this kid kept it together. That's taking a shit. I think ninety-eight percent of the population would not be able to view it this way. I know I would.

• 1:12:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  I would. I'd be like, "Dude, I'm shitting."

• 1:12:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  "Bro, I'm shitting." "I'm taking this shit, homie." "Dude, I'm shitting."

• 1:12:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  "Bro, I'm shitting." I'm like, "Here comes Rob, Rob."

• 1:12:20Speaker 06

  Hey, what you doing? What you doing? Hey, what you doing? What you doing, homie? Hey, what you doing? What you doing?

• 1:12:30Tom Segura?

  What are you doing?

• 1:12:32Speaker 06

  Hey, my boy, I'm taking this shit, dawg. I'm taking this shit. Boy, I'm taking this shit, dawg. Yeah, I'm taking this shit. What you doing, my boy? I'm taking this shit, homie.

• 1:12:41Tom Segura?

  I'm taking this shit. He is taking a shit. Yeah, it's kinda-

• 1:12:49Tom Segura?

  Yeah, it's kinda-

• 1:12:52Tom Segura?

  Yeah, it's kinda-

• 1:12:56Tom Segura?

  Yeah, it's kinda scary because at the end, the guy that crawled under the stall is really close to the camera.

• 1:13:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:02Tom Segura?

  He didn't walk that way. He didn't walk towards the door. He walked towards the door. And then it abruptly stops, so...

• 1:13:24Speaker 01

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