800 Byron Katie: Enlightenment Is Within You

QUESTION WHAT YOU’RE BELIEVING. We’re a slave to our thoughts. And most of the time, they’re not true. “This person doesn’t care about me. This person did this to me. I’m not worthy of love.” Our thoughts create suffering. So how can we stop believing them? On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I talk about the ego and how to investigate our thoughts with the creator of The Work: Byron Katie. Byron Katie is a speaker and author who teaches a method of self-inquiry known as "The Work". She is the founder of Byron Katie International, an organization that includes The School for the Work and Turnaround House. TIME describes her as "a spiritual innovator for the 21st century.” Byron walks us through her four questions that help us investigate the stories we tell ourselves. After listening to this episode, you can download the worksheet for free and work on investigating your own stories. So get ready to learn how to live fearlessly on Episode 800. Some Questions I Ask: Why were you so depressed in the first place? (6:00) How do we eliminate anger? (26:00) How often do you feel suffering? (42:00) When you see something that is unjust, what do you do? (56:00) How do we tap into an abundant mindset? (1:00:00) In This Episode You Will Learn: How Byron Katie came out of her depression (5:00) Why our brain thinks harmful thoughts (13:00) The “four questions” to get rid of untrue thoughts (18:00) The four noble truths (38:00) Why it’s important to investigate our thoughts (50:00) How to not allow fears of the future to affect your present (1:05:00) Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 800 with Byron Katie.

• 0:06Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:31Lewis Howes?

  Byron Katie said, "The perfect world is created when the mind is free to see it." I am so excited about this episode. If you don't know who Byron Katie is, she is a bestselling author, speaker, and founder of a method of self-inquiry known as the work. She had her own revelation in 1986 when she emerged from a deep depression with the determination to question her thoughts. The work is an embodiment of the wordless questioning that had woken up in her. She's been on Oprah, Tony Robbins is a big fan, and has incorporated her work into his own teachings.

• 1:15Lewis Howes?

  And over the past 21 years, it has helped millions of people around the world begin to free themselves from stress, frustration, anger, and sadness. And in this interview, we talk about the ego, its power, and why it must be questioned. We talk about questioning the thoughts that cause your suffering. Why, for Byron, forgiveness is never necessary. What to do when you see something unjust in your life, and how enlightenment is already within you. We also go through a little session where I do the work myself. With Byron, and this is pretty eye opening for me. So let me know what you think about the

• 1:56Lewis Howes?

  process when I start to go through this and do the work myself. Very excited about this one. Make sure to share with your friends. It's episode 800, guys. So if you've been here since episode one over six years ago, or if this is your first time here, thank you so much for being here. It means the world to me. It blows my mind that we're at 800 episodes and we've got over 5,000 five star reviews. So if you haven't left a review yet, please leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts or any podcast app that you're listening to, and let me know what you think. I'm super excited about this one. As you're listening, please share with your friend. You can take the link from the podcast app, copy the link, text a friend who might be needing some of the work themselves, where

• 2:39Lewis Howes?

  this could support people overcome their anxiety, their stress, their overwhelm, whatever it may be they're going through, send them this link. You can copy the link in the podcast that you're listening to, or just send them lewishouse.com/800. Episode 800 is underway. Without further ado, let me introduce to you to the one, the only Byron Katie. Welcome everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. We have the inspiring Byron Katie in the house. Thank you so much for being here. Very excited about this. I was just commenting on how calming your energy is. And you've been doing this work, it's called The Work by Byron Katie for 30 years now, 20 something years?

• 3:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, 30, 32 years or so.

• 3:27Lewis Howes?

  32 plus years. And you were explaining to me, for those who don't know your story, which I think there actually be a lot in this episode who don't know your story and the work that you've developed. You were just telling me it started from you being depressed.

• 3:42Lewis Howes?

  Thirty plus years ago, losing your identity, and trying to figure out what you were gonna do with your life, who you were, asking yourself probably a list of questions, I'm assuming, right?

• 3:53Speaker 01

  Well, let's, let's see, should we, should, should I backtrack a little?

• 3:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, backtrack a little, for those that have no clue.

• 3:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I was depressed for at least a decade.

• 4:03Lewis Howes?

  A decade?

• 4:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, trying to raise three children and, and, and depressed and agoraphobic. That was not easy, raising children, but, but one morning, as I lay sleeping on the floor, actually, a bug crawled up my foot, a cockroach crawled over my foot. And I was on the floor, sleeping, because I was so full of self-loathing. I didn't believe I even deserved a bed to sleep in, so that's depressed, that's nuts.

• 4:33Lewis Howes?

  So you're on the floor, because you had a bed, but you were just like, I'm deserving of zero comfort.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 4:39Lewis Howes?

  I'm a worthless piece of crap, I should sleep with the cockroaches.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's it, that's it.

• 4:45Lewis Howes?

  When your kids were how old?

• 4:46Speaker 01

  Actually, I didn't, I wasn't sleeping with the cockroaches, I was just on the floor. And a cockroach would be the last thing I think I'd ever see there. So it wasn't quite like that, it just happened. One crawl over my foot, and I opened my eyes, and in place of all that darkness was a joy that I'm still experiencing today. It doesn't change, it's immovable, it is, it's a possibility to live without depression, and that's why I love, you know, sitting with you. It's because we can, you know, it's the possibility. And where you've come from, you know, we're like double in it.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  But I saw in that moment, what is really important is, and what I'm doing here, and I would say in the world, is what I saw was how the world was created. I saw without identification, so I wasn't really seen, there was absolutely, when he crawled, when the bug crawled over my foot, I opened my eyes. And no identification. And then I saw there was a window. And through the window, there was a sky. And then there was like a roof. And then there were walls. And then there was, and I'm watching this.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  And I saw that just prior to believing it was a window, it was a sky, you know, this was the floor, prior to believing that it didn't exist. So I literally believed my world into being. And then, the way I used to say it was, you know, without identification. And I began to laugh. And that was the first sound that came out of it. And, and it's like, I got the joke. We shared that with you. I get it, oh my gosh. And, and so, it's like, this body, this object, this I, because I was still, you know, like, mindless.

• 6:52Speaker 01

  But it stood up. It walked into a bathroom and looked in the mirror. And I looked into the eyes in the mirror, but really it was like it looked at these eyes. And it was, it was like, maybe that was the moment that, that, and, that something happened there. But it was like coming back in again.

• 7:19Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  And into, it's like being in a dream and then coming back. But what I was left with is that I came back to the dream, but you can never come back. So it's like living, and I can talk out of one world, but I can never be in the world. And I hope this doesn't sound too crazy for your audience.

• 7:41Lewis Howes?

  No.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  The way I can honestly say that that doesn't matter. Everyone has a right to freedom. Everyone has a right to understand how to find freedom. And so that's what I'm doing here.

• 7:56Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:58Lewis Howes?

  So why do you think you were so depressed in the first place? Was it something that you were conditioned to feel as a child? Or did it happen when you were an adult?

• 8:06Speaker 01

  I can answer that question honestly out of experience. Why was I suffering? I would be leaving my thoughts. Done. That's all.

• 8:15Lewis Howes?

  What were your thoughts? I'm worthless. I don't deserve this. I'm nothing. Why should I receive love?

• 8:21Speaker 01

  No one cares about me. Life is hopeless.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  My children don't really care about me. No one really cares about me. On and on and on. And I learned that, listening to the human race, that that there are no new stressful thoughts. There aren't any. And every language in the world, they're the same. And we are still stumbling over the things that were chiseled into rocks. And Gilgamesh is the oldest written story. And it's on rocks. So, you know, all these centuries.

• 9:00Lewis Howes?

  What are the common thoughts that people believe in? That are universal? I'm not deserving of love. Or no one cares about me.

• 9:08Speaker 01

  He doesn't, he doesn't care about me. Or she doesn't care about me. Or they don't care about me. Or there's something wrong with me.

• 9:15Lewis Howes?

  I'm broken.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm broken. I can't do it. This is too hard. Other people are smarter than I am. Other people are happier than I am. You know, just it's.

• 9:32Lewis Howes?

  Why are we conditioned to think?

• 9:33Speaker 01

  He hurt me. He broke my heart, you know.

• 9:36Lewis Howes?

  They betrayed me or lied to me or. Why are we so conditioned to think those thoughts and then believe them?

• 9:43Speaker 01

  Oh, I love that you asked.

• 9:46Lewis Howes?

  Why are all human beings, why is this a universal thing that we do?

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Well, because I think, let's say, Stephen's in the other room. And, and let's say, I think the thought, "He doesn't care about me." So I see an image of Stephen sitting in there in my head. Okay, now that's not now, for all I know, he left the room, went down the elevator, he's taking a little stroll down the street. But in my mind, he's sitting there, and he doesn't care about me. Now, that's a part of it.

• 10:24Speaker 01

  And then there is, let's say, a situation where we were walking up here, and he said something, and I think he doesn't care about me. He doesn't really care about me. So now I'm seeing Stephen in my mind's eye

• 10:39Speaker 01

  of the past. I'm seeing Stephen out there in the future. When I walk out, he's going to give me the look, of course, which he never does. He's not a good example of this, but he's handy dandy as we, as we talk, it seems. So I'm seeing this Stephen, this hurtful Stephen of the past, and I see this hurtful Stephen of the future. And I'm just blowing this interview because I am here, here, and here. And so now is that, the question is, you know, why are we bothered? Why do these thoughts bother us? It's like being on the floor where I believed there was a window.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  I believed there was the wall and the ceiling and everything. I believed, and you cannot see.

• 11:36Speaker 01

  You have to believe in something before you can see it. Has to be. Okay, and I invite no one to believe me.

• 11:44Lewis Howes?

  In your mind or in real life?

• 11:45Speaker 01

  In your mind.

• 11:46Lewis Howes?

  You have to believe it's possible in your mind first before you can see it in your mind.

• 11:49Speaker 01

  You have to believe that it's a wall before you can know it's a wall. So someone taught you, no, no one taught you it was a wall. Someone said "wall," and then someone said "wall," and then your mother said, "Look at the wall, honey," and then you're dun dun dun dun dun. And then there was a moment you believed, and that was the first time you ever. Ever saw a wall. You had to believe it before you could see it. Even though your parents would, you could even say the word "wall", but without meaning. So that's what I experienced on the floor. Okay, now what bothers us? Why does it bother us believing that past? Steven of the past? Steven of the future? That I was describing?

• 12:32Speaker 01

  So now I'm sitting here, oh, you know, I'm flawed. So I can't sit here and be present with you. Okay, so here's the question. You know, I said earlier, it was insane as we were sitting up. For me, it would be insane to be out of now.

• 12:47Lewis Howes?

  To think about the future, about what you're excited about.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  Yes. And I can think about it all I want. And, you know, we don't do thoughts on purpose. So I'm, we're not thinking on purpose. Thoughts happen, it seems. But why is it painful? Okay. I have plenty of experience. There's Steven of the past, there's Steven of the future. I'm watching a movie. Now, I have three Stevens. That one.

• 13:14Lewis Howes?

  The past, the present, the future.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  The one I'm talking about. And so not one of those is Steven. It's an illusion. That's what's meant by "life is a dream". So I cannot focus on this interview because I am busy being thought, being image. The ego is extremely busy and it's full-time because it has got, like, if you take mind out, you can't take it out, you can't touch it, you can't make those Stevens real. It's impossible. So I can question them. I can question what I'm believing

• 14:00Speaker 01

  about the one I, that appears to be Steven, even though he doesn't exist. Now, it can't be this one because mind is not object.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  It's, mind is not physical. I can't take him out and say, "See him, you see?"

• 14:16Lewis Howes?

  It's an idea.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  Yeah. But I can talk about him, talk about him, till you kind of see this beast. This unfair beast, if I'm really on one, you know?

• 14:25Lewis Howes?

  Steve is your husband, just for those that don't know.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, my husband, Steven. And my husband, you know, I really can't claim him, so it always, you always feel that, that, that thing. When, in speaking out of integrity can be tricky, that I, that me, you feel the burn, mine, yeah. So with that going on, I'm crazy because I literally am here. I don't know what you're gonna say. I don't know what we're gonna do. I don't need to bother because waking up from all of that... Oh, you said something earlier that I wanted to address.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  Let's see if I can, if I can recall it. Ah, I can see those images, but they're not, there's no substance in them. So it doesn't matter. I can talk about past, future, all day long. It's just invalid. It's not valid. And you asked me earlier, um, what is my favorite thing to do? What do I love the most? And it was literally, it is literally being here with you.

• 15:41Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  Because this is my world. This is my only world. There's water here, I don't need a pass. There's a candle burning there. Oh, I do, I do, I remember, I do.

• 15:54Lewis Howes?

  Powerful.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:57Lewis Howes?

  So how do we eliminate these thoughts? Or maybe we don't eliminate them. Maybe we just ask different questions about them.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  It wouldn't be kind to eliminate the ego. You know, the ego has a right to life. It's just not real.

• 16:13Speaker 01

  I don't have to fight the wind. I see the ego as a child, like a willful child, just fighting for its survival. And so I just let it play and it's like, oh wow, that was a good one. You know, oh my gosh, that was a good one.

• 16:31Lewis Howes?

  How often does your ego play within your mind? Is it all the time?

• 16:34Speaker 01

  The ego doesn't rest, but unconditional love, you know, love is the power. So when you're questioning what you're believing, you're literally not challenging the ego, but getting close to the ego. And love being the power. You know, I'm not fighting it. I'm not fighting, I want to be as close as I can possibly be to it. I mean, it's the unreal.

• 17:02Lewis Howes?

  Right, not real, yeah.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  No, but anything with that kind of power that can create an entire identity is to be respected.

• 17:10Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm, wow. So it's not gonna go away. Something will be respected. But it doesn't have to have control over your feelings and emotions, is that what I'm hearing?

• 17:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, it will in my case, until I loved it.

• 17:26Lewis Howes?

  Until you loved it. So when the ego is coming up for you, something happens in your life, you feel betrayed or abandoned, or you have a thought.

• 17:34Speaker 01

  It's been a lot of years.

• 17:36Lewis Howes?

  Since you felt this.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  Oh my goodness, yes.

• 17:38Lewis Howes?

  Really, so you don't feel these things anymore?

• 17:40Speaker 01

  I can't say that I won't, but so far, it's so good.

• 17:44Lewis Howes?

  Wow, okay. Well, when you used to feel these things.

• 17:48Speaker 01

  I've got a lot of practice there.

• 17:50Lewis Howes?

  And you started doing the work to where it was like, okay, I'm holding on to this thought that's not real, but it feels real in my body because I'm tensing up my throat, it feels closing on me, I feel headaches, I feel overwhelmed and anxious and stressed.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  So.

• 18:07Lewis Howes?

  How did you start to move through that quicker?

• 18:10Speaker 01

  So let's say one of my children said, "Mom, you don't care about me."

• 18:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  Okay, so have you ever had that thought? About anyone, they don't care about you?

• 18:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  Okay, so let's say, was it him or her?

• 18:24Lewis Howes?

  I mean, everyone, you know, it's like, let's say a her.

• 18:27Speaker 01

  Okay, so let's take notes, okay?

• 18:30Lewis Howes?

  Yep.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  So she doesn't care about you, so the work is meditation. So just be really still with the moment in time when you were believing that you're with her. And she said or did something that prompted you to think, "She doesn't care about me." Okay, do you see that situation in your mind's eye?

• 18:53Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  And I invite you all to find that, if you can find and follow along with it.

• 18:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  So you see it?

• 18:58Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 18:59Speaker 01

  Okay, now, you were sitting on the couch in your living room, living where you were in the car, or you were, you know, just notice where you were in that situation, because that is the focus we're going to anchor in, okay? So be there now. So what did she say or do that led you to believe that?

• 19:18Lewis Howes?

  It was...

• 19:19Speaker 01

  "I'm upset with her because..."

• 19:21Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, because she ignored me.

• 19:22Speaker 01

  Okay, so just write down, "She ignored me," and that's number one.

• 19:27Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  Okay. Now, in that situation, all of you meditators out there, what did you want? So now...

• 19:37Lewis Howes?

  Attention.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, so be there now, and you can see in your mind's eye, you wanted her attention.

• 19:43Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  Okay, so I want her attention.

• 19:45Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 19:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 19:50Speaker 01

  Now, the third one. What advice would you offer her? She should or she shouldn't to get what you want?

• 19:59Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh. Clear advice. I'm just playing a game in my mind, clear advice.

• 20:02Speaker 01

  Well, really, you're meditating in the situation, so the invitation for me is to be there now. Witness her.

• 20:12Lewis Howes?

  Whether it was a year ago, 10 years ago, 30 years ago, doesn't matter.

• 20:14Speaker 01

  Absolutely, yeah. It can't upset you if you don't remember it.

• 20:18Lewis Howes?

  Wow, okay.

• 20:19Speaker 01

  So remembering being a state of mind in the present.

• 20:23Lewis Howes?

  So go into that moment, and that moment is the present now.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 20:27Lewis Howes?

  And then, what advice?

• 20:28Speaker 01

  Be there now.

• 20:29Lewis Howes?

  What advice would you give her in that moment, or to the age you are now?

• 20:33Speaker 01

  To get what you want in that situation, then...

• 20:37Lewis Howes?

  Would this be the advice you give, that you're like, "I'm 36 right now," my 36-year-old self-advice?

• 20:43Speaker 01

  No.

• 20:44Lewis Howes?

  Or like my 10-year-old advice?

• 20:46Speaker 01

  If you were 10?

• 20:47Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Be 10.

• 20:48Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 20:49Speaker 01

  And be there now, 10 years old, with that person, just as they were.

• 20:53Lewis Howes?

  So speaking to her, the advice that I would give her?

• 20:56Speaker 01

  To get what you want, which is for her not to ignore you.

• 21:01Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 21:02Speaker 01

  Okay. And it's really helpful if you give useful advice. That's how to get what you want.

• 21:10Lewis Howes?

  Sure, okay.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  All right, that's three. Now, four, to be happy in that situation. So, close your eyes and be there.

• 21:22Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 21:22Speaker 01

  Maybe you can do it with your eyes open.

• 21:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 21:24Speaker 01

  Okay, so you see you, you see her, and she's ignoring you. You see that? Okay, what do you need from her to be happy? What do you need her to say, or do, or be for you to be happy? In that situation and time?

• 21:43Lewis Howes?

  For me, it would just be a hug.

• 21:44Speaker 01

  Okay, so I need her to hug me?

• 21:47Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:48Speaker 01

  Now, look at her state of mind. Is she open to that?

• 21:52Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 21:52Speaker 01

  Okay, so I need her to hug me.

• 21:57Speaker 01

  Okay, so, write down, I need her to hug me. I love how you lingered there. This is a...

• 22:03Lewis Howes?

  I felt like I was experiencing it happening.

• 22:06Speaker 01

  Okay, so you're... That is, that's how to do the work?

• 22:10Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 22:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:13Speaker 01

  As though you're there.

• 22:14Lewis Howes?

  No, I was in the moment, and she just leaned over and gave me a hug. And it felt beautiful. Yeah.

• 22:24Lewis Howes?

  That's the work, huh?

• 22:26Speaker 01

  Well, so far, so good. Okay, so...

• 22:28Lewis Howes?

  Step five, so that's four?

• 22:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's pure meditation, just to fill in these six things. And they're always free on thework.com, or byronkatie.com.

• 22:35Lewis Howes?

  Thework.com.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  If I have anything of value, it is free there.

• 22:40Lewis Howes?

  Great, okay.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  There's only two more. Five, so meditating there.

• 22:46Lewis Howes?

  So, seeing yourself experiencing the feeling of the action that you wanted to have?

• 22:50Speaker 01

  Well, no, let's just see what happens.

• 22:52Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 22:53Speaker 01

  Okay, because it will show you. We don't have to second guess it.

• 22:56Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 22:57Speaker 01

  Okay?

• 22:57Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  So, um, so meditating there, being there now.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  She's ignoring you. Okay, so what were your thoughts about her then?

• 23:11Lewis Howes?

  After I needed her to hug me?

• 23:12Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 23:13Lewis Howes?

  Step five, what were her thoughts about me then?

• 23:15Speaker 01

  What were your thoughts about her then?

• 23:19Lewis Howes?

  This is after I witnessed my experience?

• 23:22Speaker 01

  No, you're really med- you're just filling in the worksheet now. So you're really meditating in, "She doesn't care about me."

• 23:30Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  No, what was it? She, yeah, was she doesn't care about me, number one?

• 23:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, she ignored me.

• 23:36Speaker 01

  She ignored me.

• 23:37Lewis Howes?

  I wanted her attention. What advice would I give to her that I wanted?

• 23:41Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:41Lewis Howes?

  And then I needed her to hug me.

• 23:43Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 23:43Lewis Howes?

  That's what I wanted.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, so she ignored me. She's ignoring me, so be there now and witness that. What were your thoughts about her then? What were your thoughts about her then?

• 23:58Lewis Howes?

  Uh, then?

• 23:59Speaker 01

  She is, or she-

• 24:00Lewis Howes?

  She was overwhelmed.

• 24:02Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 24:02Lewis Howes?

  She was overworked, she was stressed, she was exhausted.

• 24:06Speaker 01

  Is that what you were thinking then, as a little 10-year-old?

• 24:09Lewis Howes?

  No, that's what I'm thinking now.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  Okay, so go back then.

• 24:13Lewis Howes?

  I think I, I think I would think like, "She's overwhelmed."

• 24:16Speaker 01

  So if you're meditating, you don't have to guess?

• 24:18Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  If you're being there now, look at the little boy.

• 24:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I would say she-

• 24:25Speaker 01

  She doesn't care about me, she, she is angry, she is-

• 24:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, she, I would say she's stressed, she doesn't care, she cares about herself.

• 24:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:36Lewis Howes?

  She cares about her own stuff.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  Okay, so she only cares about herself?

• 24:39Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  You can see why this is private work.

• 24:43Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  And you're, you're, you may be the most heroic-

• 24:46Lewis Howes?

  I know.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  -person I've ever experienced on an interview.

• 24:49Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  But you can see so far, there are no new stressful thoughts. Every human being has these.

• 24:54Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 24:55Speaker 01

  Nothing, you know, we think they're so secret. No, they're universal.

• 25:00Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  So six, in that situation, what is it you never want to experience again? What is it about her or about that situation you never, you never want to experience again?

• 25:15Lewis Howes?

  I never want to feel ignored and lonely and worthless.

• 25:20Speaker 01

  Okay, so write that down.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  You know, when we're angry, we are childlike. It's an immature state of mind. Anger is the effect, hurt feelings are the effect.

• 25:39Lewis Howes?

  What was that about anger?

• 25:40Speaker 01

  Anger is, it's simply another word for fear.

• 25:46Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 25:47Speaker 01

  And when we're angry, we do childish things. We stay and do things that are hurtful. And then we feel guilt. And guilt is the training ground for all the addictions that are going on. We cannot, we cannot see another human being

• 26:08Speaker 01

  and throw these thoughts on them like post-its

• 26:15Speaker 01

  without suffering guilt.

• 26:18Lewis Howes?

  So how do we eliminate anger? If that's the thing that is the cause of guilt, shame.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  Well, we'll take a look. So let's take a look. Look at number one.

• 26:29Lewis Howes?

  Number one. She ignored me?

• 26:31Speaker 01

  So, close your eyes. Be there now. We're gonna do the work with that. Look at her closely. She's ignoring you. Look closely and don't change anything. She's ignoring you. Is it true?

• 26:45Speaker 01

  Is she looking at you? Is she doing something else?

• 26:49Lewis Howes?

  She's doing something else.

• 26:50Speaker 01

  Okay, and what is it if you don't mind?

• 26:53Lewis Howes?

  She's in the kitchen frantically cleaning and organizing and cooking.

• 26:59Speaker 01

  And you're in there? Okay. And she's ignoring you. Is it true?

• 27:06Lewis Howes?

  In my mind, it's true.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  Okay, and you can see because you're there. She's cleaning. She's doing all of that. You're there and she's not looking at you. She's not... So I'd say the answer is yes. We're only looking for the truth.

• 27:20Lewis Howes?

  Right, yes, yes.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. Okay, now notice how you react. What happens when you think the thought, when you believe the thought, she's ignoring you? Notice emotions first.

• 27:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 27:35Speaker 01

  How does it feel?

• 27:37Lewis Howes?

  Feels uncomfortable.

• 27:38Speaker 01

  Okay, now with your eyes closed, I want you to know why it feels uncomfortable. Look at the images that were happening then in that little boy's mind's eye. The images of past, future. What do you see?

• 27:55Lewis Howes?

  I just, I feel, I see, I feel ignored, I feel alone. I feel like I'm not smart enough, or good enough, or interesting enough to have someone look at me.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  Okay, now with your eyes closed, just listen to my words. You cannot feel that way without seeing images of what you just spoke to. Past and future images, where you see, like, let's say, you see images where she doesn't care about you and in the past where you were believing it. And then you see images of the future, even if it's a nanosecond future, you see images of she's not going to, she's not going to give you the time of day in that situation. So, so you see the images, see the little boy standing there,

• 28:58Speaker 01

  seeing her doing all those debt busy making.

• 29:03Speaker 01

  Now, look at, look at the images in your head, past, future. Now, that is the cause of your depression. That is the cause of, of all your suffering in the moment. Now, let's, we're going to do, see if we can prove that out. The fourth question, there are only four. Okay, you're that little boy. Who would you be without your story? Look at her.

• 29:31Speaker 01

  Without the thought, she's ignoring me. Just watch.

• 29:37Speaker 01

  And for those of you keeping up with this, you know, this is where compassion has opportunity to, to kind of shift into your life as an experience for those of you that maybe never even, don't even know what the word means.

• 29:52Speaker 01

  Look at her.

• 29:55Speaker 01

  Without your story attached onto her, what do you see?

• 30:02Lewis Howes?

  I see her dancing and singing.

• 30:06Speaker 01

  Is that what she's really doing?

• 30:10Lewis Howes?

  Well, that's the image I'm creating now.

• 30:12Speaker 01

  No, see her then, just as she was. Don't change a hair on her head.

• 30:17Lewis Howes?

  I see her, you know, really frantic, stressed, overworked. Only focused on herself.

• 30:27Lewis Howes?

  And like out of control, almost like emotionally out of control.

• 30:33Speaker 01

  You feel the intimacy? I mean, you feel connected?

• 30:38Lewis Howes?

  I don't feel connected personally.

• 30:41Speaker 01

  But I mean, from here, witnessing that?

• 30:43Lewis Howes?

  In this moment, yes, yes.

• 30:48Speaker 01

  Can the little boy see that too?

• 30:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 30:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, that's where it comes from. Okay, so she's ignoring me. What's the opposite?

• 31:00Speaker 01

  Try "I'm ignoring."

• 31:04Lewis Howes?

  From the boy's point of view?

• 31:05Speaker 01

  No, from yours, as you witnessed that. From both, just go where you go. She's ignoring me, turned around, I...

• 31:14Speaker 01

  Find an opposite, "I am."

• 31:17Lewis Howes?

  What's the example?

• 31:19Speaker 01

  Okay, "I'm ignoring me."

• 31:23Lewis Howes?

  So not "she is," but "I am."

• 31:26Speaker 01

  These opposites are like here in a shoe store. You found a pair of shoes you just really like, you really love them, but you've got to make sure they fit. So you're just gonna try them on to make sure they fit. So we're just trying on opposites. She's ignoring me, I'm ignoring her.

• 31:42Lewis Howes?

  I'm ignoring her.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  So try that on. What does that mean to you as you look at her?

• 31:53Speaker 01

  What part of her were you ignoring then?

• 31:59Lewis Howes?

  I think being compassionate towards what she was going through.

• 32:04Lewis Howes?

  I was ignoring her when she was wanting to be present with me.

• 32:10Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 32:13Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 32:15Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, when she was there for me, I was ignoring her.

• 32:20Lewis Howes?

  I was pushing her away when she was trying to give me love.

• 32:28Speaker 01

  That's pretty stunning.

• 32:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:34Speaker 01

  Okay, she's ignoring me. Can you find another opposite? She's not ignoring me. Try that one on. Just try it on.

• 32:47Lewis Howes?

  I was like, I'm not ignoring her.

• 32:49Speaker 01

  No, she's not ignoring me.

• 32:51Lewis Howes?

  She's not ignoring me?

• 32:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. See if you can try that on. Just be there now. Did she turn to you? Did she say anything to you?

• 33:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, she turned and asked me a question.

• 33:07Speaker 01

  Remember, can you recall the question?

• 33:11Lewis Howes?

  How are you feeling? How are you feeling? Is there anything you want to say?

• 33:20Lewis Howes?

  Would you like to play together? Would you like to spend some time doing something together?

• 33:24Speaker 01

  So she's ignoring me, turned around. She's not ignoring me.

• 33:27Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  She wasn't ignoring you. She was multitasking.

• 33:31Lewis Howes?

  Right, exactly. Yeah.

• 33:34Speaker 01

  Every mother isn't quite so in touch.

• 33:40Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:43Speaker 01

  Sometimes.

• 33:47Speaker 01

  So she was ignoring you in that situation, is it true?

• 33:54Lewis Howes?

  No.

• 33:54Speaker 01

  No, clearly not. This is homework.

• 34:00Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 34:00Speaker 01

  Literally, coming back homework.

• 34:03Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  Otherwise, we miss the love of our lives. And our identities is formed. We believe, you know, we look back at those moments that you've written on, and we believe our thoughts then. And so when we think of that person, that's who they are in our world. And we try to forgive them. But we can see here, there was nothing to forgive.

• 34:27Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 34:30Lewis Howes?

  What I need to forgive.

• 34:32Speaker 01

  No, she was there.

• 34:33Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 34:35Speaker 01

  A multitasking mother.

• 34:36Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  Wanting to know how you feel.

• 34:38Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  Et cetera. But you were the one that ignored her.

• 34:42Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  And is she still alive? Do you still know her?

• 34:45Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely, yeah.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  Okay, so, so this opens the door for you to go back and, and just share with her what a difficult ten-year-old

• 34:54Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  that you're meeting today and make it right. And, um, we don't say we're gonna make it right, we just do. When she has something to say, it's just effortless to listen because we really get... So is she the problem or what you were thinking and believing in that situation?

• 35:16Lewis Howes?

  What I was thinking and believing?

• 35:18Speaker 01

  One hundred percent. So that is how I'm able to live in the world. And, and forgiveness is never necessary because in my world, no one has done anything wrong in the first place. Now, that is really widening this field. And I don't want to move too, too fast, you know, for those of you watching this because it's just a few, just little doses at a time that are really gigantic.

• 35:49Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  And also, the next time you think someone's ignoring you, you may be more present with it and laugh.

• 35:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 35:57Speaker 01

  And if someone's ignoring me, I've been spared. Anything I don't, that doesn't, anything in this world is, if someone says, "I never want to see you again," I've been spared.

• 36:10Lewis Howes?

  Why is that?

• 36:10Speaker 01

  Because that's the way the universe works. They're free, they're free of me. You want someone to be with you when they don't want to be with you? I mean, to just be so open is to give the gift. It's, it's, it's, it's giving, giving, giving, giving without, without the slightest hesitation because you're awake to yourself.

• 36:31Lewis Howes?

  Wow. And not being attached to that feeling?

• 36:34Speaker 01

  Who said, "If we love them, set them free"? It's like, "Don't leave me, don't leave me, this is all about me." You know, "Don't be happy, be with me." I mean, what kind of setup?

• 36:46Lewis Howes?

  That's not unconditional love.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  That's definitely not, that's taking prisoners.

• 36:50Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 36:52Lewis Howes?

  So, not to diminish my emotions or my feelings and my situation, I was coming up with something that was resonating with me, although I wouldn't say has consumed or controlled my life. My mother's amazing, but there's definitely--

• 37:10Speaker 01

  It has nothing to do with how the mind works. The most amazing mothers in the world are-- ignore me, you know, because I don't question what I'm believing. I disconnected with my mother and I wonder why. You know, "Oh, well, she ignored me when I was little." No, you know, and if she did, the answer is just yes, and we just move on with these four questions and turn it around. Let's look at the want, the second one.

• 37:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, wanted her attention.

• 37:39Speaker 01

  Okay, look at her multitasking, okay? And look at her trying to connect with you, like, "Are you doing okay?" You want her attention, is it true? So, look, now you are a little more enlightened because you can see her more clearly. Her identity has shifted in your world and nothing can shift that back.

• 38:02Lewis Howes?

  Right, for someone who might have a more-- you know, not to compare cases, but someone who might have a more extreme case, whereas maybe the mother left when they were five, or I gave them up for a domshur, or something more extreme happened.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, this work is free on ByronKatie.com. And there's no darkness the mind has entered that you can't-- this is like taking a flashlight in with you and you're the power, because the answer is within you is where enlightenment is. Enlightenment is not something that someone can give you. It's something that-- you know, the Buddha said that life is suffering, you know? Discontent, there's suffering discontent in the world. Well, I think we can all agree with that in this world, the world of as we understand it to be.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  And then the second noble truth is there's a cause to this suffering. You just set in cause, and it wasn't your mother.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  She was your push, and that's a good thing. You know, we talked about the push.

• 39:15Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 39:16Speaker 01

  So then the third noble truth is that, it seems I got these on the floor, and then someone told me about those. Stephen told me about the noble truth. And the third noble truth is there is a way to end suffering.

• 39:32Lewis Howes?

  And what is that reason? How is that for you?

• 39:35Speaker 01

  To question what I'm believing about you, me, the world.

• 39:40Lewis Howes?

  My ego, identity, everything.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  That is, if I'm not connected with you completely, then I look to this because I cannot change you. I like, I don't, you know, it's not necessary to go secondhand. It's like I start here just exactly the way you did. So that the third noble truth is there is a way out of suffering. The fourth noble truth for me on that floor, what I was shown is to question the thoughts that I would think onto another human being or world until I love it. Until I'm connected. And anyone with an open mind can do this work. And it's, you certainly have a taste.

• 40:26Speaker 01

  You're gifted with an open mind. And for some of us, it takes a lot of stillness, a lot of, you know, meditating into that situation. You know, we have to be that still just to fill in the worksheet in the first place.

• 40:39Lewis Howes?

  Right. How often do you feel suffering?

• 40:42Speaker 01

  I, you know, I'm ready to say I don't. But I just really have to look at the question, you know, as...

• 40:53Speaker 01

  I've been in, I've been in situations to back that up. I've had those privileges in these 30-something years. And so far, so good.

• 41:05Lewis Howes?

  And the fastest way to getting out of suffering is to answer the four questions?

• 41:12Speaker 01

  Well, I would suffer if I believed what I was thinking. And if I believe what I'm thinking, if I'm suffering, I look to this for freedom, not to the world.

• 41:24Lewis Howes?

  Not to external forces.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, the world can't give me what I need. And as a result, they give me everything I need because I'm so connected. There's no, there's nothing but that.

• 41:37Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 41:38Speaker 01

  You know, if someone walks up and, and slap me across the face, I thought, wow, isn't life good? It's over.

• 41:46Speaker 01

  I mean, how long does it take? It's over. But if I remember that nanosecond I held, yeah, of that, of that past, then I suffer. Exactly so.

• 42:01Lewis Howes?

  There's another parable story about like the two monks. That um, one monk was helping a woman like get over a puddle of water and put the woman on her back and carried her across the water so she didn't get wet.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:16Lewis Howes?

  And she complained about it, or I'm butchering the story, but she complained about it and was angry at the monk for picking her up. And the other monk, a couple hours later, they're walking together, still fixated and focused on like, can you believe you were so kind and generous and this, this woman was ungrateful? Can you believe this? And the monk said to the other one, he's like, well, I let her go, you know, two hours ago. Why are you still holding on to her?

• 42:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:40Lewis Howes?

  It's exactly what you said. It's like holding on to the thought which makes us suffer.

• 42:45Speaker 01

  But we have to because those images are so convincing. There's all the proof we need and that's the only world that really is.

• 42:53Lewis Howes?

  How do we, I mean, how do we let go of something that's so convincing? Yeah, how do we let go of that imagery that's, or some, that we feel like someone did something to us? They hurt us, they broke up with us, they killed our cat. I don't know, whatever it is, like they did this to us.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, it, it wouldn't matter. Like if someone killed my cat and I was upset, they killed my cat. Is it true? Well, it's obvious, we all saw it, he killed my cat. Okay, so yes, it's true, he killed my cat. Okay, how do I react when I believe the thought? Hate, revenge.

• 43:26Lewis Howes?

  Anger.

• 43:27Speaker 01

  The emotions, anger, frustration, and then guilt if I attack him and he's going, "Oh, I'm so..." You know, I mean, you can't get away with it. You cannot harm another human being for any reason and not suffer guilt.

• 43:43Lewis Howes?

  More afterwards, yeah. You might feel momentarily pleasure or an ease of something, but then the suffering expands.

• 43:51Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 43:51Lewis Howes?

  When you retaliate with your words, your actions, it expands. Shame and guilt.

• 43:58Speaker 01

  So how do I react when I believe the thought?

• 44:00Lewis Howes?

  Someone kills your cat.

• 44:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, how do I react when I believe the thought he killed my cat? I see me in the past with my cat.

• 44:08Lewis Howes?

  Oh.

• 44:09Speaker 01

  And, oh, I see that.

• 44:11Lewis Howes?

  It laid on your stomach.

• 44:12Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, yes.

• 44:13Lewis Howes?

  The joy.

• 44:14Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 44:14Lewis Howes?

  The comfort, it purring on you.

• 44:17Speaker 01

  Yes. Oh, and then I see pictures of the future, and he's dead. And there I am in the future without my cat. Okay, now, who could witness a movie like that without being angry? And going after the guy? And these images act so quickly, we really think it's him. And this is the cause of suffering. This past, future, this dream, this waking dream world. That's the cause of my suffering now. So I'm going after him, thinking, "I'm going to get some justice."

• 44:53Lewis Howes?

  And to get some, like, I'll have some peace once I do this.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 44:56Lewis Howes?

  It'll end my suffering if I end his life.

• 44:59Speaker 01

  So how do I react when I think the thought, "He killed my cat"? I see those, I go after him, I do what I do, and then I experience either frustration if I can't find him, or I experience guilt or both. And in the meantime, I'm telling you about this terrible man, and you about this terrible man, and this... So now, it's a terrible world. There are terrible people in the world, you better be careful, they'll kill your cat. And so that is the believer, that's how believers have to live in the world. And it is not fun. I was one, and I'm still...

• 45:38Lewis Howes?

  That's why you're on the floor with a cockroach crawling over you for ten years.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  I was, you know, on the bottom until I could see what created the world of suffering, the world. So then I turn it around, he kill my cat, I kill my cat. Okay, how do I kill my cat? Over and over, that reminded me when you were saying, he carried her across the pond, but the other guy's carrying her for two hours, you know, later.

• 46:04Lewis Howes?

  In his mind, yeah, yeah.

• 46:05Speaker 01

  So I'm killing my cat, killing my cat, killing my cat, killing my cat, killing my cat. And I don't even know, I think it's him killing my cat. He is the one. That man is the cause of my suffering. Whether I get even or not, that's the cause of my suffering. So.

• 46:22Lewis Howes?

  So you reverse it by saying, I killed my cat.

• 46:25Speaker 01

  Well, well, look, I'm taking my cat across the pond with me.

• 46:29Lewis Howes?

  The joy, yeah, everything.

• 46:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I see the joy of the cat, and then I see the cat dead. And it is like going to a really good movie. And I'm here to invite people to wake themselves up from the movie and find themselves, to find themselves in a kinder world, a world that they are responsible for. I'm responsible for my world.

• 46:54Lewis Howes?

  My feelings.

• 46:55Speaker 01

  No one, no. Well, I can't even have feelings other than joy, like my true nature. I can't have, I can't have any feelings but that unless I'm attached to this dream that's going on. Now, this dream going on is not a terrible thing. It shows me where I'm asleep. And it's the invitation to wake up or suffer.

• 47:23Lewis Howes?

  Let's stay on the cat theme. And I don't know if you have a cat or not.

• 47:27Speaker 01

  Have had.

• 47:28Lewis Howes?

  You've had a cat. Let's imagine you have a cat or a person in your life that is like your person, your animal, that's like a part of your family. And someone does kill that person, or cat, or dog, or pet.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  It's the same.

• 47:43Lewis Howes?

  How would you, how would you approach that? Let's just say there's something so close to you right now.

• 47:47Speaker 01

  If I did not understand, let's say someone killed that person or cat, I can tell you this, out of experience, if I believed what that person believed, I would kill too.

• 48:01Lewis Howes?

  Explain that.

• 48:04Speaker 01

  Have you ever harmed someone?

• 48:06Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 48:07Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 48:07Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 48:08Speaker 01

  Now, look, just get in touch with what you were thinking and believing just before you said or did that hurtful thing.

• 48:18Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 48:19Speaker 01

  Now, tell me where you had a choice when you consider what you were thinking and believing.

• 48:25Lewis Howes?

  Where I had a choice, or?

• 48:27Speaker 01

  You had no choice.

• 48:28Lewis Howes?

  Oh, I had no choice. Tell me where I had no choice?

• 48:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, find it. When you consider what you were thinking and believing, how could you not have said or done what you did?

• 48:37Lewis Howes?

  Right, because I believed so strongly in the anger, the frustration, and...

• 48:40Speaker 01

  So, so did you have a choice?

• 48:44Lewis Howes?

  I mean, yes, but I felt like I didn't.

• 48:47Speaker 01

  Okay, really? Look what you were thinking and believing just before you said and did what you did.

• 48:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I believed so strongly in my thoughts that I had to react, or say the thing, or do the thing. Like, that was justifying the thoughts and the feelings that I had, and the beliefs that I had.

• 49:06Speaker 01

  So now, you've met the rest of us.

• 49:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 49:09Speaker 01

  No one's guilty, other than believing our thoughts.

• 49:15Speaker 01

  We're all innocent. We are under this, we're asleep to our true nature.

• 49:22Lewis Howes?

  And our true nature is?

• 49:25Speaker 01

  Connectedness, a connectedness, and without division.

• 49:29Lewis Howes?

  So when someone kills our pet, or a person in our life that we care about?

• 49:34Speaker 01

  First, I look to myself to see, you know, what was I thinking and believing to let the animal out, or to put it with that person, you know? I look around for my part.

• 49:43Lewis Howes?

  To take responsibility in the situation first?

• 49:45Speaker 01

  Absolutely. And it still doesn't mean he didn't kill the cat.

• 49:49Lewis Howes?

  First, take ownership and responsibility.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 49:51Lewis Howes?

  Even if it seems unfair and unjust, and every worst situation in the world.

• 49:55Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 49:56Lewis Howes?

  And your greatest joy is gone.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:58Lewis Howes?

  Take ownership responsibly first.

• 50:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, because it'll show me where I took a shortcut and I knew not to. Now, how often in my life, how, how big a pattern is that in my life? I mean, cats are pure love. They're that push, like everything else, that, you know, what does it take for you to become self-aware? And there's nothing in the world that is not giving that to anyone that, that, that gets a push in life. In other words, a sadness, a heartbreak, a push. So I look to myself and then if I, before I go out, before I go after that human being, okay? And I mean, they're already gone anyway and I'm sitting here, okay?

• 50:43Speaker 01

  Breathe, okay, so what I'm thinking and believing about that human being belongs on paper, exactly the way you dealt with it.

• 50:50Lewis Howes?

  The person who killed the cat or the person?

• 50:52Speaker 01

  I judge that person.

• 50:54Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 50:54Speaker 01

  And then I, I.

• 50:56Lewis Howes?

  So you write down.

• 50:57Speaker 01

  I write my judgment down.

• 50:58Lewis Howes?

  About the person who did the action?

• 51:00Speaker 01

  No, I write down what I'm thinking.

• 51:02Lewis Howes?

  Thinking.

• 51:02Speaker 01

  About the person.

• 51:03Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 51:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:05Lewis Howes?

  Okay. Who took the action, the harmful action? Okay.

• 51:12Lewis Howes?

  And what would you say?

• 51:12Speaker 01

  Who or what?

• 51:13Lewis Howes?

  If someone, if someone killed your cat hypothetically, what would the thoughts be?

• 51:17Speaker 01

  Kill my cat, is it true?

• 51:20Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 51:20Speaker 01

  And how do you react? Go back, meditate in that, how you reacted when you believed the thought, he killed your cat.

• 51:29Lewis Howes?

  It didn't actually happen to me, so I'm trying to think of like, what would that be like?

• 51:32Speaker 01

  It really needs to be yours, you know, or you can, or you can do a worksheet on that person who is in such grief. And you can be, you can be so connected that it's just, oh my gosh, when, when you're of right mind, the people around you.

• 51:50Speaker 01

  Oh my god, you know, my short version is can do no wrong and they don't anyway. We're sleepwalkers and it's up to our own self to wake us up. I had a kind of, I had a kind of, I had a kind of grace given me that I did nothing for.

• 52:12Lewis Howes?

  You have grace for other people.

• 52:14Speaker 01

  A kind of grace in my life and I see clearly, Lewis, that people, for example, you and you are in me. Meaning you are who I believe you to be and you can never be more and you can never be less in my life. And each of us can say the same. So if I'm not connected with you, to get connected, I would do a worksheet on everything I think about you, fear about you and the way we lined it out earlier. And then I would sit in that and to sit in that is not to sit in you.

• 52:59Speaker 01

  To sit in that is to sit in what I'm believing about you because that's who you are to me. So you are mine, you literally belong to me. So if I'm not connected and you don't have to be connected to me, am I connected to you? So then I sit and I question what I'm thinking and believing and until I'm connected. And then let's say if we're friends and I leave it to you to keep rubbing up against me, to keep pushing me, to keep pushing me until you no longer have that power, which means you won't change your patterns.

• 53:37Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  But the way I see you has completely shifted, just the way you saw your mother in the kitchen.

• 53:43Lewis Howes?

  Right, wow.

• 53:44Speaker 01

  And that's without limit. The slightest little rub can be like trivia. Oh, I won't bother questioning that. No, it's huge. Trivia will shift your life just to put it up against four questions and turn around.

• 54:01Lewis Howes?

  When you see something, let's say, in the world that you think is unjust or unfair, or that you don't like, let's just, I don't know, whether it's a political person saying something you don't agree with, or a friend, or someone that you're not close with. You see someone publicly doing something you don't like. Do you, you know, kind of just do this in your mind now?

• 54:22Speaker 01

  No, I change it if I can.

• 54:26Lewis Howes?

  How do you change it?

• 54:27Speaker 01

  It presents itself in the situation. It's completely clear. It's, I'm in a fearless state of mind. I'm not running a story. That is my story. And as sanity would have it, we change what we can.

• 54:44Lewis Howes?

  So you change the story?

• 54:46Speaker 01

  No. No, it would be like, it would be like, if you, like, you're lowering your hand into fire, and let's say, something hot. I might just reach over and say, "Oh, look, honey, it's hot."

• 54:59Lewis Howes?

  Right, and try to change it physically.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  I change it. But if I am in a story, and you start to do that, go, "Oh, my gosh, oh, you almost burned your hand, and, oh, and you owe me for being so smart, and, oh, it's a good thing I was there for you," and, you know.

• 55:19Speaker 01

  And if I don't say all that, it's like, you know, he's, you know, he gets me.

• 55:25Lewis Howes?

  He should be thanking me.

• 55:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, he gets me, and maybe he'll tell all his friends.

• 55:29Lewis Howes?

  Why do we, that's interesting you said that, because as you said that, I see that I've done that in the past before.

• 55:34Speaker 01

  Oh, well, you know, there's no one in the apparent human race that hasn't.

• 55:39Lewis Howes?

  Right, it's like, "Look what I did for you," like, "Oh, you wouldn't be as well off without me doing this nice thing for you," or "thinking of you in this way," and forward-thinking of what I thought you were gonna put your hand in the fire.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:50Lewis Howes?

  I'm just as guilty as that. Now you said that, I'm like, wow, I know I've done that in the past.

• 55:54Speaker 01

  And just the slightest little thing, you know, it's the ego, like, "Look at me, look at me, I'm so special."

• 56:00Lewis Howes?

  Right. So how do we get rid of that, where we just want to...

• 56:04Speaker 01

  It falls away.

• 56:06Lewis Howes?

  We don't need that anymore.

• 56:07Speaker 01

  Inquiry is a practice, and I invite people to just, just sit in this stuff that's free on ByronKaty.com, just to, to sit in it like 10 minutes every morning. And meditators that sit in incredible practices, when the mind comes in to disturb that practice, just to notice what you're thinking and believing in the moment, just write it down and then come back to your usual meditation. Or just put that worksheet there that we just did, just put it here and just meditating, just notice what arises and, and fill it in because it is unfinished business if it

• 56:52Speaker 01

  causes disturbance within the meditative practice.

• 56:58Lewis Howes?

  It's interesting, my friend Jay Shetty, who was a former monk.

• 57:01Speaker 01

  For example.

• 57:01Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, he, I don't know if this was his quote or if he got this somewhere else, but he said to me, you want to plant trees under which shade you don't plan to sit. Like you want to do things that could develop a tree that you may not get to reap the benefits from. You may not be able to sit under the tree or eat the fruit of the tree, but you want to be planting trees all over the place and not trying to be like, well, that's my tree that I have planted and I deserve to sit here and reap the shade or whatever, or the fruit. And I think it's, it's so hard to, it's so hard to embody.

• 57:37Speaker 01

  It's just such scarcity, as though there's not shade somewhere else.

• 57:40Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 57:41Speaker 01

  And as though you have time to sit in the shade, it's just, you know, it's a dream and we can get, become intoxicated with it. I'm so tired, I'm so this, I'm like that, and I planted the tree and now there's so many people under the tree, there's no room for me and the, the, the, the, oh, boy, you know, just go find your own shade.

• 58:01Lewis Howes?

  How do we tap into more of an abundant mindset, since a lot of people?

• 58:04Speaker 01

  Well, for me, in that situation, I would, I would, I would just see it and I would just walk up and say, does anyone here see a way of, a way that I could sit and enjoy the shade that wouldn't put anyone else out? So would we all just look at that for a moment? And if they say, no, there's no room here, how clear is that? I just find shade somewhere else, or I enjoy the sun.

• 58:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 58:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then if I'm, you know, if, if I'm, the sun's beating down so hard, and I, I've fallen to the ground, and I just lay there, you know, I'm dying, you know, and it's unbearable. The worst that can happen is what I'm thinking and believing, that's it.

• 58:52Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 58:53Speaker 01

  That's all. And a question mind is good company. And it knows where to go, it knows where to find the shade, too.

• 59:00Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh. A lot of challenges I see right now, and a lot of the content that does really well in the world, online, let's say, is around relationships. I think the world, this world is about relationships, you know.

• 59:15Speaker 01

  It is.

• 59:16Lewis Howes?

  The relationships we have with other people, and the relationship we have with ourself, the relationship we have with our thoughts, everything. That's what I'm hearing you say, too. Especially in intimate relationships. What do you feel like is the biggest challenge people are facing with intimacy and commitment these days between intimate partners?

• 59:38Speaker 01

  I think just the thoughts that they're believing about their partners. And it's attachment, to believe is to attach to a thought.

• 59:48Lewis Howes?

  To an expectation or an attachment?

• 59:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, what I'm believing, like, he should, he should, he promised he'd take out the garbage, he should take out the garbage. Let's say Stephen says, "I'll take out the garbage, yeah, yeah, yeah, I promise, I'll take out the garbage, okay." And I wake up in the morning, and it's still there, okay? So he comes in, and he said, "Good morning, honey." And, and I give him the look. Why? Because in my mind's eye, I see the garbage, or I'm looking at it. And then I see the past where he said he would take it out. Now, am I giving, am I giving the right man the look? In other words, am I punishing the right man?

• 1:00:35Speaker 01

  The one last night, promised. So I am punishing the wrong man.

• 1:00:43Lewis Howes?

  You're punishing the one in the moment, not the one?

• 1:00:45Speaker 01

  I'm punishing the one in my head. Thinking it's Stephen. Now, that, Stephen in the moment, that's crazy.

• 1:00:55Lewis Howes?

  So how do we, how do we communicate effectively so that we're not punishing the wrong man?

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  Stephen, I noticed, I noticed the garbage is, is still here and you promised to take it out. I thought I'd remind you, I'd really like it out. And then if he still doesn't do it, who's left? I'm the one that wants it out in the first place.

• 1:01:17Lewis Howes?

  You can take responsibility and ownership.

• 1:01:18Speaker 01

  Absolutely, if I want the garbage emptied.

• 1:01:21Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. We can just pile out, pile up. I've, I've got a choice if I want it out.

• 1:01:27Lewis Howes?

  You can deal with the smell and the look of it, or you can make a request and they can honor it or not do it, or you can do it yourself and move on.

• 1:01:35Speaker 01

  But to punish another human being for what I'm thinking and believing, that's really crazy.

• 1:01:41Lewis Howes?

  And it hurts you probably too.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  Completely.

• 1:01:44Lewis Howes?

  So we're only creating more suffering for ourselves when we try to, when we're angry or punishing someone else.

• 1:01:51Speaker 01

  To treat another human being in any way that is unkind in the long run is not just, that's why it hurts. We're simply in a dream world, a way, like a daydream, a waking dream. It's just like a night dream. And at night when you're dreaming and let's say it's a nightmare, can you, you know, do you want someone to wake you up? Yes. So in, in, in the daytime, when you're in a dream, it, it's like, oh, he promised to take out the garbage and do, do, do, and you did, did, did, like all of that. That's a nightmare, not a nightmare, it's a daymare, but we can wake ourselves up simply by doing what you began today.

• 1:02:34Lewis Howes?

  How do we eliminate, or maybe not eliminate, how do we not allow fears of the future to consume our present moment?

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:02:45Lewis Howes?

  I'm afraid my partner's going to do this in the future. I'm afraid, what if in five years, 10 years, it doesn't work out?

• 1:02:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:53Lewis Howes?

  How do we not allow that thought of that movie running in our head to consume and cripple us from living in the now?

• 1:03:01Speaker 01

  The only way I know is to make love with the story. It is to identify it, write it down, and question it.

• 1:03:14Speaker 01

  I like to say, judge that person, write it down, ask four questions, and turn it around, and have a good life.

• 1:03:20Lewis Howes?

  And what are the four questions? Because we talked about the six things before.

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  The first one, well, that's two. That's a way of lining out the thoughts.

• 1:03:29Lewis Howes?

  Got it.

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  In a story. If you just do one, there's an underworld there to deal with. So, you know, I'd like the whole worksheet, so you get the entire underworld.

• 1:03:38Lewis Howes?

  And we all, people download this too.

• 1:03:40Speaker 01

  The first question is, is it true?

• 1:03:43Lewis Howes?

  So, for example.

• 1:03:45Speaker 01

  Your mother ignored you.

• 1:03:47Lewis Howes?

  Right, okay. What if it's a fear? What if it's a thought about the future?

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  Same thing.

• 1:03:53Lewis Howes?

  Okay, is it true?

• 1:03:53Speaker 01

  Same thing.

• 1:03:54Lewis Howes?

  They're gonna leave me? Are they gonna abandon me?

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, the love of my life is going to leave me. And.

• 1:04:00Lewis Howes?

  Is it true?

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  Is it true?

• 1:04:02Lewis Howes?

  So ask yourself the question, and then write the answer.

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  And then the second one is, can I really know that it's true? She's going to leave me. And you always see an image in your head of, she's got her suitcases, she's leaving.

• 1:04:15Lewis Howes?

  She's got another man.

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  She's got another man.

• 1:04:17Lewis Howes?

  She's happier with someone else.

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  So that's what happens. So the third question is, how do you react? What happens when you believe she's going to leave you? When you believe that thought?

• 1:04:28Lewis Howes?

  How do you react in this moment, or if it happens?

• 1:04:31Speaker 01

  Well, how do you react? Let's say it's already happened, or it's happening, you're afraid it's gonna happen in the future. That's where we were with this. How do you react when you believe the thought? Well, take your pulse already, you know, if you're really in it.

• 1:04:46Lewis Howes?

  You're anxious, you're worried, you're.

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  And how does the mind react? You see the images of what we just described. Her suitcase is packed, et cetera, et cetera. And then you see where you were so happy, and she loved you. And, you know, it's just like the cat again. And then as you watch this movie, that makes you, you know, the dreamed dreamer. It's innocent, but how do you react? You watch those images and then you feel the horror, just like you're sitting in a movie and you cry or you laugh. Oh, you watched the movie. Have you ever been in a movie and cried?

• 1:05:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  Or laughed?

• 1:05:21Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  It's a movie, it's a flat screen. It's, you know, it's a dream. So when it's in your mind, you're watching that past, future, and you're going to feel the emotions as you watch it. It's a dream.

• 1:05:34Lewis Howes?

  So you want to feel the feelings.

• 1:05:35Speaker 01

  Oh, absolutely. Oh, feelings have a right to life. They're so important. It's, it's, it's, um, yeah, it's a beautiful thing. It's a courageous thing, too, for some of us.

• 1:05:45Lewis Howes?

  So feel the fear, the scary, the mess, the loneliness, the sadness.

• 1:05:49Speaker 01

  And then look at the story that created it in your head, the story in your head that created it. Because it doesn't come. We're not just stricken with feelings out of the clear blue. There's a cause, just like the Buddha said. There's a cause to that suffering. The cause is what we're thinking and believing. So how do we deal with it? That fourth noble truth? We question, we question the thoughts we're believing. The fourth one is, um, who or what would you be without the thought?

• 1:06:17Lewis Howes?

  The original thought?

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. The one you're working on?

• 1:06:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:23Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:06:26Lewis Howes?

  Okay. Who or what would you be without the thought? That anxious feeling, that feeling of fear. You'd probably be a lot more loving and present and compassionate and...

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  So just look at, just be...

• 1:06:39Lewis Howes?

  Magnetic.

• 1:06:40Speaker 01

  Be the little boy in the kitchen.

• 1:06:41Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:42Speaker 01

  And we didn't complete that work either.

• 1:06:45Lewis Howes?

  There's more work to do.

• 1:06:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, she, she's ignoring me, I'm ignoring her.

• 1:06:49Lewis Howes?

  Uh-huh.

• 1:06:50Speaker 01

  We talked about the nine-day school earlier. On the other side of nine days, Stanford just did a test, um, a study on, on the last school. And it's, it's just radical what people are experiencing. It's, it's, um, it's, it's a beautiful thing.

• 1:07:06Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:07:06Speaker 01

  But all six of those, you know, one through six that you've filled in, on, on the other side of it, you've got the full story if you go all the way through. But, um, there's also a one belief at a time worksheet in the, um, on the website, so...

• 1:07:24Lewis Howes?

  I'm going through all of them.

• 1:07:25Speaker 01

  Oh, I, oh my gosh, you, you know...

• 1:07:28Lewis Howes?

  I'll go through all of them now.

• 1:07:29Speaker 01

  You are someone that would, because...

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  Because the real challenge is inside, it's not outside.

• 1:07:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:38Speaker 01

  And then, nothing can stop a fearless life. You know, I was, you know, this, um, this depressed woman in this, this, on the floor, and agoraphobic, and all of a sudden, my home, the windows are open, the doors are open, and word of mouth is happening. It was really before internet was, um, people had, all had computers, and, and word of mouth just moving all over the world, and it was just, people would invite me to come, and I would just, just, I used to say my name as yes. I don't want anyone, this is what we have in common, Lewis, I don't want anyone to suffer the way I suffered.

• 1:08:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:24Speaker 01

  And I know a little about you too, and, and it's not fun.

• 1:08:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. There's a cause to that suffering.

• 1:08:32Lewis Howes?

  Of course, yeah.

• 1:08:35Speaker 01

  And there's a way out of that suffering.

• 1:08:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:38Speaker 01

  An inquiry is one way. And you know, there's so many beautiful ways in the world, and, and whatever works for someone, you know, that's the way, and this is, um, this is if people get really, it is a way, and if people get really, really, really stuck, it's always, um, it's always available.

• 1:08:58Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely, yeah. Thework.com, buyorkate.com. What's the biggest challenge you've had to face in your personal life since you've ended suffering for yourself?

• 1:09:13Speaker 01

  The thing most difficult is to try to articulate this, this experience, knowing that it's unnecessary to even speak.

• 1:09:23Lewis Howes?

  Articulate the, the work experience?

• 1:09:25Speaker 01

  Yes, just, just talking like this, how do you?

• 1:09:28Lewis Howes?

  Simplify?

• 1:09:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:31Lewis Howes?

  Knowing that it's not even necessary to speak, is that what you said? Because it just should be unknowing, is that what you mean? Like, we should just embody this already?

• 1:09:38Speaker 01

  It is, and, you know, I could say, I haven't spoken in thirty years, and tell you the truth.

• 1:09:45Lewis Howes?

  How so?

• 1:09:47Speaker 01

  Well, where's my proof?

• 1:09:50Speaker 01

  I just spoke.

• 1:09:52Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 1:09:52Speaker 01

  Where's your proof?

• 1:09:54Lewis Howes?

  It's being recorded, it's... I can play it back.

• 1:09:58Speaker 01

  And all those images are coming from the past.

• 1:10:03Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  And you're seeing the future.

• 1:10:05Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 1:10:05Speaker 01

  And that's your proof? So what did you have for breakfast? Did you have breakfast?

• 1:10:09Lewis Howes?

  I just had water and a coffee.

• 1:10:11Speaker 01

  Okay, and where's your proof?

• 1:10:13Lewis Howes?

  It's in my belly. I don't know.

• 1:10:15Speaker 01

  So you can...

• 1:10:16Lewis Howes?

  It's in there.

• 1:10:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, and where's your proof? You know, I'm not saying that people have to go this far with it. It's just being present. You know, I see that if you ask me if I had breakfast, I know how to say yes if it's true in this world, in my world, in this, in the world. I know the difference between the world, what people are talking about, and the truth. So I can say, you know, if you say, Katie, did you have breakfast? I can say, yes, you know, I did. And I can tell you what it is and everything. Just don't ask me if it's true or not.

• 1:10:57Lewis Howes?

  It's not true because it's just an idea? It's just a thought?

• 1:10:59Speaker 01

  Well, I have no proof.

• 1:11:03Speaker 01

  I'm willing to say yes.

• 1:11:04Lewis Howes?

  It's a memory, right? It's a memory of something.

• 1:11:06Speaker 01

  What is a memory other than the image I see of me having breakfast? How can that be me now if this is me? There can be past, future, present me?

• 1:11:23Lewis Howes?

  There's only me now.

• 1:11:26Speaker 01

  If there is, this is as close as it's gonna get.

• 1:11:29Lewis Howes?

  Right, this moment. What inspires you the most? From all the work you've done and all the lives you've changed and the people you've supported over the years, even though there's no proof of that, what are you inspired by the most?

• 1:11:42Speaker 01

  The human race.

• 1:11:45Lewis Howes?

  What about the human race?

• 1:11:47Speaker 01

  It's beauty. It's innocence.

• 1:11:52Speaker 01

  And also, the infinite mind. The infinite mind, you know, you could do this, you could like, do this work and, and have no attachment whatsoever. And it just continues to expand and expand and expand and expand. It doesn't need, it's, it's infinite. And that's exciting. And, and I have found my attention, I have found, I don't know, quite know how to say. But I've been to some places that are just as real as now. And I can honestly say that after, you know, us playing in, you know, yes, I had breakfast, where's my proof? It's in my head.

• 1:12:35Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 1:12:36Speaker 01

  But I still feel full, okay? I'd have to believe what full feels like before, I mean, it's.

• 1:12:46Lewis Howes?

  Right, it's an imagery.

• 1:12:47Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:12:48Lewis Howes?

  It's a story, it's a movie, yeah, I hear you.

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  And it frees us up to live out our true nature, our true nature being connected without prejudice to the human race and, and, and life now.

• 1:13:04Lewis Howes?

  Have you ever heard of a woman by the name of Mary Baker Eddy?

• 1:13:08Speaker 01

  I have, I have, I had an aunt, gosh, that's funny, I haven't thought about that for years. I had an aunt, that was what she.

• 1:13:16Lewis Howes?

  Christian Science.

• 1:13:18Speaker 01

  That's, yeah, Christian Science, that's what she was into.

• 1:13:20Lewis Howes?

  You remind me, the language you use, I was raised in Christian Science.

• 1:13:24Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:13:24Lewis Howes?

  So I grew up reading her books and her work. And she's a woman who found this religion, Christian Science, back in the 1800s, I guess. And it spread all over the world. Now, this is pre-internet, pre, you know, everything. And it's spread based on the, the truth that she was sharing and the words you're using, infinite mind.

• 1:13:45Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:13:46Lewis Howes?

  This is in her text. And it's all about the imagery. This is stuff I was being taught as a child. These ideas, you know, a lot of stuff that Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about, I don't know if you know his work. You both say similar things in other ways about the mind, the infinite mind.

• 1:14:03Speaker 01

  It's probable, infinite for me means it goes, it appears to go on and on and on and on, even though it doesn't.

• 1:14:10Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm. Yeah, you should check out her book. I think you would really love it.

• 1:14:14Speaker 01

  My, my, my dead aunt for decades would love that.

• 1:14:18Lewis Howes?

  It's a very radical way of thinking that helped a lot of people heal from their thoughts.

• 1:14:24Speaker 01

  She's the one that like.

• 1:14:27Lewis Howes?

  She was very sick for a long time. And then she was like, how do I end this suffering, this sickness, this disease that I'm feeling in my bed all the time? And she started to really study her thoughts.

• 1:14:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:38Lewis Howes?

  This is back in the eighteen hundreds and healed herself and then healed the world. Through her books and her message and her.

• 1:14:48Speaker 01

  Heal the world within her.

• 1:14:49Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 1:14:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, with her mind, her thoughts. So it's funny, you know, because this is something I was raised in and the more I hear someone like yourself and Joe Dispenza and other people who are talking about these things, I'm like, this is stuff that I was learning as a child, but it seems so crazy. In this religion for a lot of people to be like saying these things and having these healings and thinking these thoughts and having this imagery in my mind of going to these places that and talking about it, people are like, you're crazy.

• 1:15:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:18Lewis Howes?

  But now it's like more accessible, these ideas.

• 1:15:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, because you're, you're, it's your background and you, yeah, gosh, you know, that's a, that's a beautiful gift. I didn't have any religious training or anything like that. My mother sent us to Sunday school when we were little sometimes. And so I got to experience it.

• 1:15:40Lewis Howes?

  But you tapped into the truth for yourself.

• 1:15:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just don't want people to have to suffer to that degree. You know, I was in the hospital maybe three years ago because my system started shutting down. And evidently I was some kind of poison or something and something ate, I don't know, but of five of the major organs, they were, they were all shutting down. And I was so fascinated with it, I, I just didn't want to miss it. And so I just lay there.

• 1:16:13Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:16:14Speaker 01

  Experiencing it, you know, happily and, and.

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  I guess that is the science of mind. I, you know, I certainly don't want to talk about anything that's not my experience.

• 1:16:28Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 1:16:29Speaker 01

  So I lay there for about a week, maybe, maybe it was just four days or something, but, but maybe a week. And before I would give Stephen an okay to take me to the hospital. And so he took me into emergency. They could not, then that was more than a, than a week. They could not stop the, stop them from just, just backing off. You know, they were just shutting down.

• 1:16:59Lewis Howes?

  Their organs, yeah.

• 1:17:00Speaker 01

  Yes. And my children would come visit me and my grandchildren would come visit me and my friends would come visit me. And my family was not worried, even though the doctors said, you know, I was dying. And they had me sign a thing of do not resuscitate and, and all of this. And then Stephen, I didn't have, they asked me and I didn't have, I didn't have a preference. And he said, I do and resuscitator.

• 1:17:32Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:17:32Speaker 01

  And I thought, well, you know, you know, if that's what he wants, why not? And, and.

• 1:17:38Lewis Howes?

  So you were ready to go.

• 1:17:39Speaker 01

  Well, I, it was a don't know for me. I, I, I don't know how they began to fail and fail. And I don't know if they want to come back. It's like, like a tree, you water it, you give it sunshine and it, it, it lives or dies. So I just, I just experienced it that way. And, and I only live because I believe I do. That's identification. And then at some point you stop believing that and you just don't belong to you any longer. You're too easy to talk to. I don't know what this is going to be like for an interview. But, oh my goodness. So, and, and, and it's a privilege to talk with you as well.

• 1:18:21Speaker 01

  They were going to try one last thing and which was to wash my lungs out. And, and that's why I had to sign something way or the other before I went into that last ditch effort.

• 1:18:36Lewis Howes?

  Could be over.

• 1:18:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:37Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:18:37Speaker 01

  And so one of my sons went in with me and we laughed through the whole time and talked. Nothing changes. No fear can stop, you know.

• 1:18:49Speaker 01

  No question, there's no downside, once the mind is sane. And sanity for me, you know, it's the absence of suffering. And what I see is beautiful. And there is nothing in this world that is not for all of us. And it's absolutely a gift. It's absolutely a gift, and there's nothing that isn't. So if I see something that, if I see a downside to life, or a person, or anything whatsoever, I would question what I'm believing with an open mind. Could be right, you know, but I'm going to test it.

• 1:19:30Speaker 01

  I think it was Einstein that said, "An unquestioned life is not worth living." And I completely agree with that.

• 1:19:36Lewis Howes?

  That's powerful. Want to respect our time, I have a couple of questions left for you. Before I ask the couple of questions, everyone can go to thework.com or ByronKatie.com to get all these resources, download the worksheets, go through the guides, get your books. You've got a nine-day workshop that's extremely powerful.

• 1:19:56Speaker 01

  A nine-day school for the work.

• 1:19:57Lewis Howes?

  School for the work. So if you want to learn about how to use this more in your life and support other people, you're going to learn everything there.

• 1:20:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, we work on relationships, and prejudice, and the body, and fear and terror. And it's an incredible experience.

• 1:20:17Lewis Howes?

  All your workshop information is at your side, so get all that information there. Sign up for the workshops. Are you on social media as well? Do you?

• 1:20:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I can't resist. I can't resist.

• 1:20:29Lewis Howes?

  Are you on Instagram?

• 1:20:30Speaker 01

  I post something on Instagram, yeah, because I can work that.

• 1:20:41Lewis Howes?

  So Byron Katie, is it The Work?

• 1:20:44Speaker 01

  Gosh, I don't know, I'd say Byron Katie. My office will throw it into Facebook.

• 1:20:50Lewis Howes?

  Okay, great.

• 1:20:51Speaker 01

  And the other.

• 1:20:51Lewis Howes?

  Amazing.

• 1:20:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:53Lewis Howes?

  Before I ask the final questions, is there any advice you have for me?

• 1:20:57Speaker 01

  Oh my, oh my gosh, I love that you'd ask and I didn't even have a question.

• 1:21:01Lewis Howes?

  I usually don't ask people, I usually don't ask people for advice.

• 1:21:04Speaker 01

  Just keep doing what you do. Oh my, oh my gosh, I just, your mind is so unlimited and so open. There's no end to that kind of, there's no end to that kind of gift. And the world can only fall into it because it's so open. It would just have to, that's how it works.

• 1:21:25Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 1:21:26Speaker 01

  Oh my goodness, oh my goodness.

• 1:21:27Lewis Howes?

  I feel like you're so wise, I want to get advice from you. So I'm like, any, any words you have, I'll, I'll listen to.

• 1:21:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, and any time that you come up against a wall, just to identify what you're thinking and believing in that situation and, and write it down and sit with your beautiful self.

• 1:21:43Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, or I'll email you or text you if I, if I need some real advice.

• 1:21:47Speaker 01

  You know how to do that, absolutely.

• 1:21:49Lewis Howes?

  Okay, perfect. Uh, this question is called the three truths. Ask everyone at the end. Uh, imagine this is your last day. Uh, or 50 years from, whenever you choose that you believe you don't want to be here anymore. It's your last day and you can choose the day you're, you leave this world. And you've done everything you want to do. You've achieved everything, you've had the relationships, you've lived the life. But for whatever reason, you've got to take your work and the work with you. So no one has access to the information you've put out in the world. You've got to take it all, hypothetical. But you get to leave behind three things you know to be true about your life. The lessons you've learned, your experiences.

• 1:22:32Lewis Howes?

  Three truths that you would share with people that would be your message to the world. What would you say are those three things that you would leave behind and share?

• 1:22:41Speaker 01

  That people would understand that all problems are imagined.

• 1:22:46Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 1:22:47Speaker 01

  And that the universe is friendly.

• 1:22:52Speaker 01

  And that it's obvious to anyone with an open mind.

• 1:22:59Lewis Howes?

  Those are three powerful ones.

• 1:23:02Lewis Howes?

  I like that.

• 1:23:03Speaker 01

  I like the question.

• 1:23:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's very simple. All problems are imagined. The universe is friendly.

• 1:23:10Lewis Howes?

  And it's obvious to anyone with an open mind.

• 1:23:12Speaker 01

  It's obvious for anyone with an open mind to see.

• 1:23:17Lewis Howes?

  That's powerful. Those are, those are three powerful ones. I want to acknowledge you, Byron, for, gosh, your presence. You have a unique presence from the moment you came in, from our conversations to this whole time of being present and living in peace and harmony and seeing pure love in the world. I think that's very challenging for some who haven't done the work on themselves or who have been awakened to what's possible. And the fact that you are continually showing up and leading workshops and doing interviews and writing and serving humanity is, is for me so inspiring. So I acknowledge you for, for everything that you do and coming back from the dead

• 1:24:01Lewis Howes?

  to continue to serve and heal so many people. I really appreciate it.

• 1:24:04Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:24:05Lewis Howes?

  And I hope I see you many, many times from now.

• 1:24:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I look forward to that as well.

• 1:24:09Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I hope I see you more. My final question is, what is your definition of greatness?

• 1:24:14Speaker 01

  Of greatness?

• 1:24:18Speaker 01

  Knowing oneself.

• 1:24:21Speaker 01

  To know oneself.

• 1:24:24Lewis Howes?

  Perfect. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate it. Appreciate it. It's amazing.

• 1:24:29Speaker 01

  What fun.

• 1:24:29Lewis Howes?

  It's amazing.

• 1:24:33Lewis Howes?

  And there you have it, my friends. I hope you enjoyed this one on the work. Free yourself by doing the work. Let go of suffering by doing the work because enlightenment is within you. It's just about asking yourself certain questions, changing the way you think about the interpretation in your life, what has happened to you, what's happening for you, and changing it around so it's in your favor. You have so much potential within you. You have the enlightenment already within you.

• 1:25:01Lewis Howes?

  In you, it's time to set yourself free. Again, share this with your friends. LewisHowes.com/800 Or just copy the link on the podcast app that you're listening to. Text it to one or two friends. Text it in a friend group. Post it on your Instagram story. Tag myself, Lewis Howes and Byron Katie. Let us know what you thought. I'm sure she would love to hear your feedback on this. We've come a long way, guys. There is a lot of things happening in the world and a lot of things happening in your world. And the bigger the dream, the bigger the challenges and adversities that could potentially arise. More people start to attack you as you grow and as you improve. More people want to see you fail.

• 1:25:45Lewis Howes?

  You know, family members, friends, outsiders, people online. People are going to comment. People are going to judge. You get to do the work every single day to help you overcome anything that is keeping you back, that's holding you back from achieving your dreams and achieving that inner peace that you desire. Let go of the suffering. Free yourself. Enlightenment is within you. Byron Katie said, "The perfect world is created when the mind is free to see it." See the perfect world in your mind. Let go of the things that don't serve you and step into the life you were born to live. I love you so very much. You know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.