MFM Minisode 509

This week’s hometowns include a corded phone catastrophe and a toddler conwoman. For our sources, please visit https://www.myfavoritemurder.com/episodes. Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3UFCn1g. Head to social media to share your favorite moments from this episode. Instagram: instagram.com/myfavoritemurder http://instagram.com/myfavoritemurder Facebook: facebook.com/myfavoritemurder http://facebook.com/myfavoritemurder TikTok: tiktok.com/@my_favorite_murder http://tiktok.com/@my_favorite_murder Send your hometown stories to [email protected] mailto:[email protected]. Join the Fan Cult to access ad-free episodes of My Favorite Murder. Members also receive merch store discounts, exclusive audio and video content and more! Visit www.fancult.supercast.com http://www.fancult.supercast.com/ to join. Shop for My Favorite Murder and other Exactly Right merchandise here: www.exactlyrightstore.com https://www.exactlyrightstore.com. Rate, review and follow My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you like to listen. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is exactly right.

• 0:07Speaker 00

  911, what's your emergency?

• 0:09Speaker 01

  Please help us. They're everywhere. We think they're murder hornets. 911 Nashville returns.

• 0:17Speaker 02

  It's a homicide detective down here.

• 0:19Speaker 03

  Three bodies on the ground.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  With emergencies of biblical proportions.

• 0:23Speaker 03

  Hell, since swarms upon you and upon your people.

• 0:26Speaker 02

  That's one of the plagues of the Bible.

• 0:27Speaker 03

  And somebody's unleashing them on Nashville.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Brian Phillippe, 911 Nashville. All new Thursdays on ABC, next day on Hulu.

• 0:37Speaker 00

  Whether you're buying, renting, or selling, Zillow can help make your someday today. To help find a home that fits where you are in life, or that apartment that's a little closer to where you want to be. Zillow has the right information, tools, and support to help turn your future home into a reality. Because someday starts today. Visit zillow.com/today to get started.

• 1:02Speaker 04

  OnDeck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps, OnDeck's loans up to $400,000 help make it happen fast. Rated A+ by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star TrustPilot reviews, OnDeck delivers funding you can count on. Apply in minutes at ondeck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank. OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans in amount subject to lender approval.

• 1:47Georgia Hardstark?

  Hello.

• 1:49Karen Kilgariff?

  And welcome.

• 1:49Georgia Hardstark?

  To my favorite murder.

• 1:51Karen Kilgariff?

  The minisode.

• 1:52Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right. We read you stories. You listen to them. And then maybe you write your own in for fun.

• 1:56Karen Kilgariff?

  You know, it's like a casual agreement of content churning.

• 2:02Georgia Hardstark?

  That you've never consented to.

• 2:05Karen Kilgariff?

  You want to go first?

• 2:06Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. Okay, my first one is called "The Brazilian Boogeyman." Just starts. "I was born and raised in Brasilia, Brazil's capital." I think I'm saying that right. "I have a Brasilia story for you that has everything: a family massacre, a massive manhunt, the Brazilian wilderness, a guy who seemed to disappear into thin air." And because apparently we cannot have a Brazilian true crime story without some seasoning, rumors that he made a deal with the devil and was basically fucking magical.

• 2:33Karen Kilgariff?

  Wow.

• 2:34Georgia Hardstark?

  "In 2021, mid-COVID madness, the entire region was introduced to a man named Lazaro Barbosa. For about three weeks, it felt like the entire country was looking for him. In June 2021, Lazaro was accused of killing four members of a family at their rural property in an area about 40 minutes outside central Brasilia. He fled into the Sahado, the huge savanna-like wilderness surrounding Brasilia. The Sahado is dense scrub, tall grass, trees, rivers, rocky terrain, and enormous stretches of land where you can disappear if you know what you're doing. And apparently Lazaro knew exactly what he was doing. For 20 days, he stayed ahead of the police. More than 270 officers from different police and federal agencies were involved in the search.

• 3:20Georgia Hardstark?

  There were helicopters, drones, tracking dogs, roadblocks, and news crews following the whole thing. And somehow, this one guy kept getting away. He crossed rivers to throw off the dogs, moved between rural properties, stole cars, took people hostage, and allegedly committed additional crimes while he was on the run. Every time the police thought they had him surrounded, he disappeared again. And then something fascinating happened. Lazaro stopped being just a dangerous fugitive. He became a legend. People in the area were terrified. And rumors started spreading that he had supernatural powers. Some people said he made a pact with the devils. Others claimed he could disappear into the woods, turn invisible, or somehow transform himself so police couldn't find him. Obviously, there was no evidence of any of this, but when you've got hundreds of police officers,

• 4:05Georgia Hardstark?

  helicopters, dogs, and drones looking for one guy, and he keeps disappearing into the Brazilian wilderness, reality starts to feel like folklore. The media coverage was also insane. It became this bizarre national obsession. People were afraid to leave their homes. Rural families were locking themselves inside. Some people even left the area because they were so afraid he'd show up at their property. And then after 20 days, it finally ended. Lazaro was located in a city just outside Brasilia. He exchanged gunfire with police, was shot, and died. And just like that, the manhunt was over. The whole thing reminded me a little of Richard Ramirez. Not because their crimes were the same, because they absolutely weren't, but because of what happened to the criminal's image.

• 4:48Georgia Hardstark?

  Richard Ramirez became almost mythical while he was still at large. The media turned him into the Night Stalker, and people became obsessed with where he was and when he would strike next. Lazaro became something similar in Brazil. He became bigger than the individual crimes. He became a boogeyman. And honestly, if you've ever been around Brasilia, you understand why the setting made this so terrifying. The Sahado is beautiful, but it's huge. You can be relatively close to the city and suddenly feel like you're in the middle of nowhere. So the idea of someone dangerous disappearing into that landscape? Terrifying. Add Brazilian folklore, sensationalist television, social media, and three weeks of everyone asking, "Where the fuck is Lazaro?" And suddenly you've got a true crime story

• 5:32Georgia Hardstark?

  that starts feeling like a campfire legend. Anyway, Brasilia says hi. SSDGM Lorena. Like Lauren, but with a Latin rolled R and an A at the end. The Reina.

• 5:45Karen Kilgariff?

  La Reina.

• 5:46Georgia Hardstark?

  The Reina.

• 5:47Karen Kilgariff?

  La Reina. Wow.

• 5:49Georgia Hardstark?

  I know. I'd never heard of that.

• 5:51Karen Kilgariff?

  Never heard of it. Also, sorry to say, never knew, well, of course, never knew that Brasilia was the capital of Brazil. But then also that there was like this surrounding landscape. Like, that sounds amazing.

• 6:05Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. The insects, though. Oh my God.

• 6:09Karen Kilgariff?

  And that really big Jesus. So big.

• 6:12Georgia Hardstark?

  Insects and Jesus everywhere.

• 6:14Karen Kilgariff?

  Insects and Jesus everywhere you look. Okay.

• 6:21Karen Kilgariff?

  I think because of the international flavor of your first one, I'm going to use this one as my first one.

• 6:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay.

• 6:27Karen Kilgariff?

  The subject line of this email is "No Sex, No Raft, Just a Man in a Rowboat." And it starts, "Hello, gals, pals, and pets. I just listened to Karen's story about the sex raft, and your discussion about how terrifying the ocean is reminded me of a story from my home country. I'm from Finland, so apologies for any grammar mistakes. Please, you're writing an email in English. Could we do that in Finnish? No, never. Not even..."

• 6:54Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, I could.

• 6:55Karen Kilgariff?

  Well, sorry. Sorry to speak for Georgia. But not even with Google Translate, could I? Then it says, "We Finns are known for a little thing we call sisu," which I've told you about that movie. There's a movie called Sisu, S-I-S-U.

• 7:10Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:11Karen Kilgariff?

  "If you and Vince are ever bored, I tell you, it will be a rollicking romp that you will not regret watching." Unbelievable movie. And it's about this Finnish miner during World War II and the end of World War II. He's trying to stay away from the Nazis, that one. It's so good. But basically, you learn a little bit about what this person's about to start talking about in that movie. So it says, "We Finns are known for a little something we call sisu, which basically means having an unreasonable amount of determination, grit, and resilience. And sometimes, apparently, using that determination to row across an entire fucking ocean. Enter Yari, a 53-year-old Finnish firefighter.

• 7:55Karen Kilgariff?

  In 2023, Yari decided to row solo across the Atlantic Ocean in a rowboat."

• 8:00Georgia Hardstark?

  What?

• 8:01Karen Kilgariff?

  Because I guess running into burning buildings for a living wasn't enough excitement.

• 8:06Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God.

• 8:07Karen Kilgariff?

  He rowed from the Canary Islands to Antigua. Then he made his way to Canada so he could row back across the Atlantic to Germany.

• 8:15Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God.

• 8:15Karen Kilgariff?

  In total, he spent 178 days at sea. By the time he finished, he was malnourished and could barely stand upright because his body had gotten so used to being thrown around by ocean waves that walking on land was difficult. This made him a bit of a Finnish legend. So after finally recovering from spending nearly half a year alone in a rowboat, Yari had a very normal thought. I should do that again. So in 2025, he set off on another solo expedition. "Yari, go to therapy. It's just words. You'll be fine."

• 8:52Georgia Hardstark?

  Like do a cold plunge, you know, every morning or something.

• 8:56Karen Kilgariff?

  Eat some tinned fish and talk to another human being. So in 2025, he set off on another solo expedition, this time attempting to row from Cape Horn, Chile to Cape Town, South Africa. The trip was expected to take three to four months. And for 65 days, things were going relatively well. Until one Thursday night, his team back in Finland lost contact with him during a storm. Then a massive wave hit his boat and flipped the entire thing upside down. Thankfully, the boat was designed to flip back up by itself, which it did. Unfortunately, it also swallowed a massive amount of seawater. And that seawater got into the electrical system.

• 9:38Karen Kilgariff?

  And the electrical system, all caps, caught on fire. So just to read it up, Yari is alone in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean at night. His boat has flipped upside down, and now his rowboat is on fire. Pick a struggle, my guy. That's what it says. He managed to put out that fire, but his electrical system was destroyed. His boat went completely dark. He no longer could operate it properly and his only satellite phone had about 10% battery left with no way to recharge it. He managed to briefly contact his team in Finland and they agreed he would only turn the phone on once an hour to save the battery. Meanwhile, he was soaking wet, freezing and getting dangerously close to hypothermia,

• 10:22Karen Kilgariff?

  while his powerless little boat continued drifting farther away from the coordinates rescuers had been given. Eventually, he got word that a South African rescue boat was about two to three hours away, which is great, except it was the middle of the night, pitch black, and he was still drifting around the Atlantic Ocean. Finally, around 2:30 AM, Yari saw the lights of the rescue boat. They found him. After being awake for nearly 48 hours, surviving a capsized boat, an electrical fire, freezing temperatures, and almost being lost in the Atlantic, Yari was finally pulled to safety. After thanking the South African crew for saving his life, he had one request: a glass of whiskey. Honestly, fair, I would too.

• 11:07Karen Kilgariff?

  Yari has since vowed that he will not attempt another ocean crossing, but he is Finnish and clearly has no interest in sitting still, so I personally would not put any money on that. Thanks for reading my story. Stay sexy and stay on dry land. Helena from Finland.

• 11:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Guys, men, dudes.

• 11:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Men, dudes. What's out there so bad? What's out there that you think you're gonna, that's gonna help you, that can't help you at your, at your local

• 11:38Georgia Hardstark?

  Truly.

• 11:39Karen Kilgariff?

  library therapist's office, community gathering spot?

• 11:46Karen Kilgariff?

  911, what's your emergency?

• 11:49Speaker 02

  Please help us, they're everywhere. We think they're murder hornets.

• 11:53Speaker 01

  911 Nashville returns.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  What's a homicide detective doing here?

• 11:58Speaker 03

  Three bodies on the ground.

• 11:59Speaker 01

  With emergencies of biblical proportions.

• 12:02Speaker 03

  Oh, since swarms upon you and upon your people.

• 12:04Speaker 02

  That's one of the plagues for Bible.

• 12:06Speaker 03

  And somebody's unleashing them on Nashville.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  Brian Philippi joins 911 Nashville. All new Thursdays on ABC, next day on Hulu.

• 12:16Speaker 00

  Whether you're buying, renting, or selling, Zillow can help make your someday today to help find a home that fits where you are in life, or that apartment that's a little closer to where you want to be. Zillow has the right information, tools, and support to help turn your future home into a reality, because someday starts today. Visit zillow.com/today to get started.

• 12:41Speaker 04

  OnDeck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps, OnDeck's loans up to $400,000 help make it happen fast. Rated A+ by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star TrustPilot reviews, OnDeck delivers funding you can count on. Apply in minutes at ondeck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank. OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

• 13:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, my next one's about cats. I'm not gonna read you the subject, though. Hello, lovely ladies and fellow murderinos. About 25 years ago, in Aberdeen, north of Scotland, I worked in an office from nine to five and then in a bar from six to 11. Jesus. One evening, while I was working behind the bar, my mom called to tell me that their cat, Sparky, affectionately known as Little Shit, had died. I was devastated. Sparky was a gorgeous, long-haired, black and white cat until he wasn't. He would rub his head against your hand until you gave him one pet too many, at which point he would attempt to remove your hand with his furry flick knives. Hence, Little Shit. He actually responded to Little Shit, which I found hilarious.

• 13:54Georgia Hardstark?

  I sat behind the bar and shed a little tear, desperately trying to hide my face so nobody would notice. Unfortunately, I didn't fool the regular customers, who were very concerned, because I really wasn't much of a crier back then. 25 years later, and menopausal, I can confirm that things have changed considerably. Anyway, my mom told me they had found Sparky at the bottom of the garden. They assumed he had been knocked over or hit by a car because the main road running through the village ran alongside their house. We always had cats growing up, and whenever one died, my dad would bury them in the garden. My parents, Mary and Alan, would then go to the garden center, C E N T R E, of course, and buy a rose, and buy a rose bush to mark the grave.

• 14:36Georgia Hardstark?

  So my dad dug a hole, put Sparky directly into the earth, no blanket, no box, because apparently my dad had very firm views about feline funerals, and called my mom outside to say goodbye. She didn't want to go, but dad insisted, "Come on, come and say goodbye to him." So she went out into the garden, Sparky was curled up in the earth, and according to my mom, looked exactly like he was sleeping. She went back into the house, sat in the conservatory crying, and pretended to read her book.

• 15:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, someone's got a conservatory.

• 15:04Georgia Hardstark?

  I know.

• 15:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Pinky out. Play the violin, why not you?

• 15:09Georgia Hardstark?

  Dad told her he was going to have a shower, and then they could drive to the garden center and choose a rose for Sparky. My mom was sitting in the conservatory when she heard dad walk down the hallway, and then she heard, all caps, "Jesus, Mary, mother and fuck," followed by "Mary, Mary."

• 15:28Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, I wish I could hear in the accent.

• 15:31Karen Kilgariff?

  I know what this is.

• 15:32Georgia Hardstark?

  Do you do?

• 15:33Karen Kilgariff?

  I think I do.

• 15:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Mom came running. She got to their bedroom, and there, lying on the bed, fast asleep, was Sparky. They just stared at him, then they stared at each other, then back at the cat. Eventually, my dad whispered, "If that's Sparky, who's in the ground?" My mom called Sparky. The cat opened his eyes, looked at her, had a stretch, and went back to sleep. Basically, his expression said, "Stop bothering me, I'm trying to sleep." At this point, my parents went running back into the garden, and there, still lying in the hole, was the exact same cat. Identical. The same long, black and white fur, same size, everything. What the actual fuck? Whose cat was this?

• 16:13Karen Kilgariff?

  God.

• 16:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Is that what you thought it was?

• 16:15Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 16:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay. I thought the cat was gonna come back to life. That was what I initially

• 16:19Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, like dig its way out of a hole? I kind of thought it would be covered in dirt.

• 16:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Right. They started asking the neighbors if anyone knew of another black and white cat in the area, but nobody did. Unable to find the owner, my parents decided to continue with the burial. They went to the garden center, bought a beautiful rose, and planted it over the grave. Problem solved. Except, two or three days later, there was a knock at the door. Standing there was a young couple from around the corner, asking if my mom and dad had seen their missing black and white cat. My parents invited them in and explained the entire bizarre situation. Then they introduced them to Sparky. The couple took one look at him and immediately understood the confusion, but unfortunately, they wanted their cat back. So my dad had to go back into the garden, all caps, "Dig the cat up again."

• 17:06Karen Kilgariff?

  No.

• 17:07Georgia Hardstark?

  And hand it back to them. Remember, dad didn't believe in burying animals in blankets or boxes, so this poor cat was pulled directly out of the earth. My dad handed the cat to its owners while trying to brush the soil off him. Apparently, the look on their faces was one of pure horror.

• 17:22Karen Kilgariff?

  No, I'm sorry. You don't get to have a look on your face.

• 17:25Georgia Hardstark?

  No.

• 17:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Leave the cat alone.

• 17:27Georgia Hardstark?

  I'd be happy that someone cared enough about a strange cat.

• 17:31Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 17:32Georgia Hardstark?

  And I'd come and look every year on the anniversary.

• 17:35Karen Kilgariff?

  And I'd go, I'd be like, "That was so nice of you, thank you." And as I walk out the door, I pick up Sparky and just take him with us. Cause they're all, it's all the same.

• 17:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Same diff.

• 17:47Georgia Hardstark?

  Meanwhile, back at the bar, it took me about 10 minutes to explain to everyone why I had gone from crying over the death of beloved cat to absolutely pissing myself laughing. And honestly, I couldn't stop, because the mental image of my dad calmly digging up somebody else's dead cat and then handing it back to them while sweeping the dirt off it, still makes me giggle 25 years later. Sparky lived on, completely unfazed by the whole experience, and somewhere, presumably, another family had their own black and white Little Shit. SSDGM, Angie.

• 18:17Karen Kilgariff?

  That's a great story. I mean, basically, same thing where we had this old cat, and my mom drugged the cat. She got drugs from work and then drugged the cat, cause the cat had, like, seizures and now all this weird shit and was clearly not okay.

• 18:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 18:33Karen Kilgariff?

  But my mom was very close to this cat, because Laura and I had left, like, at the same time, so she was like, that was her empty nest friend. And so she drugs the cat, and she's crying, feels bad that she has to do it, but is putting the cat out of her misery.

• 18:48Georgia Hardstark?

  No.

• 18:48Karen Kilgariff?

  And the cat walks outside and goes in a circle and lays down, and my mom cries and goes inside and has a moment, and then, like, an hour later, the cat jumps up on the fucking couch, and as if nothing happened.

• 19:01Georgia Hardstark?

  So she didn't kill the cat?

• 19:02Karen Kilgariff?

  She didn't kill it. She didn't give him, it basically got enough drugs to kind of like, take a long nap and be like, drugged out on the lawn.

• 19:09Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, your mom's just going through it the whole time? It has to go through it again? Oh my god.

• 19:15Karen Kilgariff?

  And the cat's like, "What's up?"

• 19:17Georgia Hardstark?

  Thanks for that. Can I get another hit?

• 19:19Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, for real.

• 19:20Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 19:21Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay, here's my next one. The subject line of this is corded phone catastrophe. So, there's so many people, I had no idea what that would even, could possibly mean. It says, "Hi Karen in Georgia. It was 1993, around 3:00 PM, when I got home from the burning hot hellscape that was my Southern California high school."

• 19:41Karen Kilgariff?

  I went straight to our yellow refrigerator. That's, that's the one we had. Mustard yellow. Grabbed a liter bottle of bright orange crush and poured myself a glass. Thirst quenched, I walked around the counter to make a phone call. We had the typical late 70s ranch house with an oversized U-shaped countertop, open to the family room on one side. So you could pull up a bunch of vinyl bar stools and never actually have to dine in your dining room. The phone was on the outside wall closest to the living room with a fairly long cord, just long enough that it could stretch across the kitchen. I dialed my friend and started talking about whatever we talked about at 15. And then in parentheses, it says, probably boys and drugs. And began to pace around the kitchen.

• 20:24Karen Kilgariff?

  As I paced, I began to circle back around the counter and somehow smack the liter bottle of closed orange crush off the counter and onto the kitchen floor. You probably assumed this would be no big deal since it was closed, but you would be wrong. In fact, it would have been better if I had left the cap off, which honestly is more like me. Instead, somehow the plastic bottle cracked, but just enough in and around the right place so that the bottle spun around in circles on the floor, while a jet stream of orange crush coated the ceiling, walls, cabinets, counters, appliances, and me. I was in so much shock that my teenage brain didn't even entertain the thought of trying to pick up the bottle or put something on top of it to stop this brain.

• 21:08Karen Kilgariff?

  There was not a crevice in that kitchen that was left untouched.

• 21:12Georgia Hardstark?

  It's just, that's like a car accident, like a minor car accident. It's never gonna be the same again.

• 21:16Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 21:17Georgia Hardstark?

  Like, it's just a little fucked for the rest of its life.

• 21:19Karen Kilgariff?

  It's just always gonna be sticky and a little orange crushy. I did the typical teenager thing and cleaned, in quotations, but I don't think I got past the floor and countertops before my mom came home and I left to change out of my orange sprayed clothes. She was already on a ladder cleaning off the ceiling when I came back and I snuck out of the house to avoid helping clean up the rest.

• 21:44Georgia Hardstark?

  This is why, no kids, no children, ever.

• 21:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Horrible things. Because I was a teenager and teenagers can be pretty selfish assholes. Yeah, you know what? That's self-awareness. I respect it.

• 21:56Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, and it's true, yeah.

• 21:58Karen Kilgariff?

  But also, I just love, there's households where that, you just had the kind of mom that's up on the ladder, like, oh, I'll be back for dinner. Do you know how you'd be destroyed emotionally, financially, and reputationally if you did something like that in our house?

• 22:13Georgia Hardstark?

  Same. Janet, you think she'd fucking be cool with that, with you walking away?

• 22:17Karen Kilgariff?

  For one fucking, get the fuck back.

• 22:20Georgia Hardstark?

  She'd say, I'm leaving to get a drink and by the time I get back, this better be fucking cleaned up.

• 22:24Karen Kilgariff?

  For real.

• 22:25Georgia Hardstark?

  She's not wrong. It's not wrong.

• 22:27Karen Kilgariff?

  Now the countdown is on. I wonder if that's why I'm so obsessed with games and stuff like that.

• 22:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Let's do it before mom beats the shit out of me.

• 22:35Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, you have 15 minutes. Okay. They go on to say, I now have two teenagers of my own and although neither of them has managed to spray soda all over the house, which they don't drink it anymore.

• 22:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Right.

• 22:47Karen Kilgariff?

  These young people, I'm always like, hey, you want a Diet Coke? And they're like, no, I'll have water. I'll have water from my bottle, please. Okay.

• 22:55Georgia Hardstark?

  They want reverse osmosis water, please, with electrolytes.

• 22:59Karen Kilgariff?

  That's right. So neither of them has managed to spray soda all over the house, but I do feel like my experience helped me somewhat keep my cool when one of my sweet baby angels went to fill the bathtub and instead of waiting and watching it fill up, decided they had had enough time to go play video games.

• 23:19Karen Kilgariff?

  I'm not sure how long the tub ran for, but it flooded the bathroom so bad that the water ran out of the bathroom, onto our second story landing down the stairs, and even through the bathroom floor, through the ceiling, where it dripped down into the dining room below.

• 23:35Georgia Hardstark?

  No, that is structural damage and like mold toxicity. Fuck.

• 23:40Karen Kilgariff?

  Luckily, our house was 106 years old, drafty, full of cracks, and built mostly out of redwood, so it dried out surprisingly well.

• 23:51Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, I did, however, get to clean up that mess myself. What goes around, comes around.

• 23:56Georgia Hardstark?

  Amazing.

• 23:57Karen Kilgariff?

  SSDGM and don't buy vinyl bar stools when you live in a hot climate. A.

• 24:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, here's what we need. I love this. Send us the fucked up thing that you did as a kid that made you think when your kid did something fucked up, you couldn't get that mad at them.

• 24:13Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 24:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Like, the payback you got from your kid because of what you did to your parents.

• 24:18Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes. That's a great one.

• 24:20Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, my favorite murder at Gmail. Send us the...

• 24:23Karen Kilgariff?

  And we'll call it Grandma's Revenge.

• 24:27Karen Kilgariff?

  I told you so.

• 24:30Speaker 07

  911, what's your emergency?

• 24:34Speaker 07

  Please help us. They're everywhere. We think they're murder warrants.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  911 Nashville returns.

• 24:41Speaker 02

  It's a homicide detective down here.

• 24:42Speaker 03

  Three bodies on the ground.

• 24:44Speaker 01

  With emergencies of biblical proportions.

• 24:46Speaker 03

  All sins swarms upon you and upon your people.

• 24:49Speaker 02

  That's one of the plagues of the Bible.

• 24:51Speaker 03

  And somebody's unleashing them on Nashville.

• 24:54Speaker 01

  Brian Phillippe joins 911 Nashville. All new Thursdays on ABC, next day on Hulu.

• 25:00Speaker 00

  Whether you're buying, renting, or selling, Zillow can help make your someday today to help find a home that fits where you are in life or that apartment that's a little closer to where you want to be. Zillow has the right information, tools, and support to help turn your future home into a reality. Because someday starts today. Visit zillow.com/today to get started.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  Cash flow crunch? OnDeck's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds, up to $200,000, right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat. With flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment, get funded quickly and confidently. Apply today at ondeck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank. OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

• 25:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Speaking of, I have a grand, my last story is a grandma story.

• 26:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, nice.

• 26:00Georgia Hardstark?

  Grandma Jackie Robinson story.

• 26:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Ooh.

• 26:03Georgia Hardstark?

  Hi Karen and Georgia. My grandma lived in a small town in Wisconsin in the 40s and 50s. Jackie Robinson was playing for the Brooklyn Dodgers when she was in high school. In August 1952, just before her junior year, she heard that he would be playing a game in Chicago. Lucky for her, her best friend's dad worked for the railroad at the time and was able to help get the girls to Chicago via train ride to watch him play. After a long day of travel, the girls got to their seats in the stadium just as the teams were warming up. Grandma grabbed her camera, walked down the railing, yelled, hi Jackie, and he turned and smiled at them. He held a throwing pose for her to be able to snap a photo of him. She said it was by far one of the best memories of her youth.

• 26:47Georgia Hardstark?

  I loved hearing her tell people this story with such youthful joy, like she was right back there in the stadium every time she told it. Coincidentally, my grandma's name was also Jackie.

• 27:00Karen Kilgariff?

  It was the perfect combination.

• 27:03Georgia Hardstark?

  After she passed away a few years ago, my uncle had the photo professionally retouched and printed on canvas, including a school photo of grandma and a copy of Jackie Robinson's rookie card for my mom. He titled the photo Jackie by Jackie. It says, see attached photo of the canvas and original, which I'll show you in a second. Grandma was notorious for writing on her photos, but there's something cozy about seeing her handwriting. Grandparents are such treasures slash treasures, and I hope you enjoyed this little story about mine. SSDGM Renee. And then it says, PS, shout out to my bestie Kate, a day one listener, who introduced me to MFM. We saw you in Chicago and watching you pull a hot dog out of your dress pocket

• 27:45Georgia Hardstark?

  and tossing it into the audience was one of the highlights of my life.

• 27:49Karen Kilgariff?

  Spoiler teaser, spoiler teaser for the upcoming show.

• 27:53Georgia Hardstark?

  You guys will know. And so let me show you this photos. We'll put it on social media, but you can see him like posing like he's about to throw the ball.

• 28:01Karen Kilgariff?

  He's like, here, is this what you want? Aww.

• 28:04Georgia Hardstark?

  I know, isn't it cute?

• 28:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes. God, that's so funny. It's like, I, I was picturing the famous picture of him that's very close up.

• 28:11Georgia Hardstark?

  No, yeah.

• 28:13Karen Kilgariff?

  Grandma Jackie got like the full scene of them all warming up on the field.

• 28:18Georgia Hardstark?

  Isn't that cute with her little cute handwriting?

• 28:20Karen Kilgariff?

  I know.

• 28:21Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay. You got one more?

• 28:23Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, I got one more for you. And the subject line of this email, just to change it, change the direction one more time, is toddler con woman. It says, you asked for scam artist con stories and my parents love to talk about how I was a toddler con woman. And then in parentheses, it says, con girl, con child? Question mark. Okay, so my dad was a lawyer with a small practice and my mom was his office manager. She would bring me to work with her daily, since what was the boss gonna say? My mom used to put baby me in one of those walkers that you can sit in and walk around in as it had wheels. Remember this?

• 29:03Karen Kilgariff?

  I had free reign of not only the law office, but the whole building. For some reason, they'd open the door and let me wander around when I got older.

• 29:12Georgia Hardstark?

  No, just like down the stairs, out the door?

• 29:16Karen Kilgariff?

  Is it also like down the stairs? The baby's like holding, holding itself back, trying not to fall. But it's just like, the things that I think you and I have such reservations about, raising children, it seems like most people have never cared about any of that.

• 29:33Georgia Hardstark?

  You and I are the only people who have thought of these things. The people who are never having children are like, wait, maybe you shouldn't do that with children.

• 29:40Karen Kilgariff?

  I don't know if you should let your, your toddler go door to door. I don't know. What would I know? Okay, so it said, thankfully, all the other building tenants knew me and I quickly learned that the other office employees would give me candy or snacks.

• 29:54Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, they would.

• 29:55Karen Kilgariff?

  I would go office to office, making grabby hands at the various candy bowls and everyone would give me a piece of candy. At some point, I think my mom told them to stop giving me candy because the supply dried up, but I was undeterred. My mom's favorite part of this story is that I would make my way to the building's vending machine on the first floor. Her office was on the second.

• 30:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Take the elevator down or what?

• 30:20Karen Kilgariff?

  I would wait by the elevators until someone was going down and ride along.

• 30:25Georgia Hardstark?

  I'm sorry, if I got to saw a baby getting in an elevator with me.

• 30:28Karen Kilgariff?

  I would never stop dreaming.

• 30:29Georgia Hardstark?

  I wouldn't be like, what floor?

• 30:31Karen Kilgariff?

  I would be like, get the fuck out of here.

• 30:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Punt that baby out of...

• 30:36Karen Kilgariff?

  I would have the strangest reaction. I think, um, you can't come in here.

• 30:42Georgia Hardstark?

  No babies in the elevator.

• 30:44Karen Kilgariff?

  You don't go to this school.

• 30:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, you can't sit with us.

• 30:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay. God, that's crazy. I would then stand next to the vending machine and wait for a poor sap to walk by. When someone approached, I would tap on the vending machine, quiver my lip, and tears would fill my eyes. I would say, Coke? Coke?

• 31:06Karen Kilgariff?

  While tapping pathetically. I guess people would fall for it because they would insert coins and buy me a Coke. They often open the can for me, which I would happily accept and toddle off.

• 31:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Holy shit. What if you were high and that happened?

• 31:21Karen Kilgariff?

  You're just like, did I hallucinate a baby?

• 31:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 31:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Did I baby, did I buy a baby a Coke? Or am I the baby? One time, it was a client of my dad's, so he followed me as I went to the elevator. I rode up with him and I accompanied him to the office. When he got into a meeting with my dad, he told him that he'd bought me a Coke, and my dad was very exasperated, as that day, it had been the third one that day that someone had got for me.

• 31:48Georgia Hardstark?

  Shit.

• 31:50Karen Kilgariff?

  I don't know. Maybe supervise the fucking baby.

• 31:53Georgia Hardstark?

  Or just put a fucking note on the, on the fucking vending machine. If there's a baby trying to make you.

• 31:58Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, no Cokes for this baby.

• 32:00Georgia Hardstark?

  No Cokes for babies, please.

• 32:01Karen Kilgariff?

  How about you shut that baby into the conference room?

• 32:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Right.

• 32:04Karen Kilgariff?

  That's a full round of mini racetrack for a baby.

• 32:08Georgia Hardstark?

  Absolutely.

• 32:08Karen Kilgariff?

  Of course, when I'd show back up at the office, holding the can, they'd take it away from me. I never cried. I just shrugged it off and went back to con some other person out of a Coke. And this is in bold. Eventually, they put up a sign saying, don't buy the baby a Coke.

• 32:24Georgia Hardstark?

  I wish I had a picture of that.

• 32:26Karen Kilgariff?

  That's so good.

• 32:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Don't buy the baby a Coke. She got her diet only. That's what they should have. Diet or nothing.

• 32:34Karen Kilgariff?

  Because you know, then you think about it, where you're like, there's some babies that look older and they're toddlers, but you're like, oh, is that a four-year-old or whatever? But then that thing, then there's some babies that look younger. What if it looked like a, like a six-month-old baby, but it's like, Coke? So scary. And then this is the next paragraph. After it says, don't buy the baby a Coke, it says, people still would, though. And then it said, now we're in the, the kind of questioning philosophical part of the email. Why was I left to wander in office building? Why was I left to wander in office building by myself? I guess it was the 90s. My con toddler days are over, and I grew up to be a law-abiding citizen. Nowadays, my toddler hasn't had to perfect any sort of routine because my parents are her biggest

• 33:17Karen Kilgariff?

  suckers. Yes. The ultimate scam, which is the loosey-goosey parents in the 90s are now the greatest grandparents in the 2020s.

• 33:26Georgia Hardstark?

  No.

• 33:27Karen Kilgariff?

  Thanks for being a bright spot to my weeks. I listened a lot during my daughter's extended NICU stay, as you brought me a lot of comfort. Oh, so scary.

• 33:35Georgia Hardstark?

  My God.

• 33:36Karen Kilgariff?

  She has ridden in the car, and we often listen together, though I screen episodes now beforehand, and don't listen to the darker slash violent ones with her. Thank you. That's good.

• 33:45Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes, good parenting, turns out.

• 33:47Karen Kilgariff?

  Look at you parenting, out of nowhere.

• 33:52Karen Kilgariff?

  It says, when I start the car, I'll ask her, do you want music or talking? And oftentimes, she says, talking. And if I put on a different podcast, she'll say, no, I want to listen to the ladies.

• 34:03Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes. Tell her to leave her review. We need it.

• 34:08Karen Kilgariff?

  Tell her, ask her if she's interested in the fan cult.

• 34:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes, I love that.

• 34:13Karen Kilgariff?

  She wants to listen to the ladies.

• 34:14Georgia Hardstark?

  The baby likes us.

• 34:16Karen Kilgariff?

  I'm gonna get that baby a Coke. Anyway, that's probably not a good idea either. Oh, well. Sincerely, Katie.

• 34:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Katie.

• 34:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, what was the baby's name? We don't know. The new baby. Hi, new baby. We love you.

• 34:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Hi, baby old enough to be able to make requests on the car. Now the babies are calling the shots from the backseat.

• 34:37Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right.

• 34:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Before you were left to scam for, for cane sugar. What a time.

• 34:44Georgia Hardstark?

  Send us your email, whatever it may be, at myfavoritemurder@gmail, obviously, anything.

• 34:50Karen Kilgariff?

  This was more like a hang with Katie, where Katie was just kind of like, hey, here's a memory I have from being a child.

• 34:56Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally. And I loved it.

• 34:57Karen Kilgariff?

  One of the best. We loved it.

• 34:59Georgia Hardstark?

  Good job. Good job, everyone. Thank you for listening.

• 35:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Thank you all kindly, and stay sexy.

• 35:05Georgia Hardstark?

  And don't get murdered.

• 35:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?

• 35:17Karen Kilgariff?

  This has been an Exactly Right Production.

• 35:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Our managing producer is Molly Smith.

• 35:21Karen Kilgariff?

  Our consulting producer is Kate Schellbach.

• 35:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Our creative lead is Allison Agosti.

• 35:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Our associate producer is Tessa Hughes, and our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

• 35:29Georgia Hardstark?

  This episode was mixed by Leona Scolacci.

• 35:32Karen Kilgariff?

  Email your hometowns to [email protected] and follow the show on Instagram at MyFavoriteMurder.

• 35:38Georgia Hardstark?

  Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 35:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Or watch new episodes every week on Netflix. Search for My Favorite Murder, add us to your list, and hit the double thumbs up button. Goodbye.

• 35:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Calling all amateur detectives and podcast obsessives.

• 36:00Georgia Hardstark?

  Virgin Voyages' second True Crime Voyage sets sail March 20, 2027, for a five-night escape to Grand Turk and the Beach Club at Bimini.

• 36:09Karen Kilgariff?

  As part of the On Air at Sea collection, this immersive sailing brings together fan favorite podcasts, including Disgrace Land, Buried Bones, and Wise Crack, for live recordings, behind-the-scenes access, exclusive meet and greets, and crime-themed programming that you won't find anywhere else.

• 36:25Georgia Hardstark?

  All aboard our award-winning, kid-free ships.

• 36:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Head over to virginvoyages.com/truecrime to secure your spot. Goodbye.

• 36:34Speaker 00

  Okay, laundry stinks, literally. I mean, you could just keep buying new underwear. Not that I've ever done that. Or maybe sort your clothes into piles based on how re-wearable or filthy they are. Or just use Arm & Hammer Deep Clean. It's made for real-life stinks and stains. So even if you don't do laundry the, quote, "right way," Deep Clean will knock it out. I mean, it is from the number one liquid detergent brand that tackles more loads than any other. Come clean with Arm & Hammer Deep Clean. Number one claim based on total wash loads sold. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast, the true crime comedy podcast, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice

• 37:19Speaker 00

  it. Each week, I bring on an amazing guest. Ooh, I scammed them. What? I could talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper, like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.