Ep 591 - M-A DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS (Mall)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live Ho Ho Ho. Merry Christmas!!!!! I hope you didn't think we'd take a week off for the holiday ... neva dat. Santy Clause came early with a hot cast for all the good D. A. W. G. Z. and gurs. Please have a Merry Christmas. Please enjoy the episode. God Bless. Visit https://rocketmoney.com/MSSP Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The Wild Wild West. All right, here we go.

• 0:04Matt McCusker?

  Yo, speaking of hot mics.

• 0:05Speaker 00

  Got all that venom out.

• 0:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. Speaking, uh, there was a, there was a principal at, uh, some school in Delaware County that was leaving a voicemail for a parent and he didn't realize the thing was still going and just kind of like, he got in trouble because it was a Jewish parent.

• 0:22Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 0:23Matt McCusker?

  And he was, uh, after like he thought he'd hung up. I think someone was like, who was that? And he goes, this guy is a fucking asshole. He's like a big hothead. And I think he matched, he's like some Jewish guy. He's like, he always wears fucking sweatpants all the time. He comes in here and freaks out.

• 0:36Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 0:36Matt McCusker?

  Wearing sweatpants? And the lady goes, what does he do for a living? He goes, I don't know, controls all the banks or whatever.

• 0:42Matt McCusker?

  And they put that.

• 0:42Speaker 00

  Damn, this guy's funny as shit.

• 0:45Matt McCusker?

  The, the comments are half split between like, this man is a scumbag, needs to be removed and people being like, I'm signing my kids up for this school right now.

• 0:54Speaker 00

  That is like, that's like the worst nightmare.

• 0:57Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 0:58Speaker 00

  Especially if somebody was like, not really bashing you.

• 1:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:01Speaker 00

  You know what I mean? If you like overheard a voicemail where they're like, dude, he just wears sweatpants all the time. He kind of like smells. Like, he's like nice, but he's like just a gross.

• 1:10Matt McCusker?

  He'd have been totally fine if he didn't do the, I don't know, probably controls the banks or whatever.

• 1:14Speaker 00

  I mean, he had to hit that home run. Home run, dude.

• 1:19Speaker 00

  There's nothing you can do about it. Somebody lobbed one right across the plate.

• 1:22Matt McCusker?

  He's the principal, bro. He's gonna have to become a gym teacher now.

• 1:25Speaker 00

  He's, yeah.

• 1:25Matt McCusker?

  They're gonna promote him to gym teacher.

• 1:27Speaker 00

  Gym teacher will be good though.

• 1:28Matt McCusker?

  Five year, that's, that's gym teacher energy.

• 1:30Speaker 00

  That is gym teacher. He should be a gym teacher. Principal's crazy for that type of thing.

• 1:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:35Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, he got busted, uh, but yeah, you know, whatever. That's what you always gotta hang up before you talk shop about the Jews at work.

• 1:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, if you decide, yeah.

• 1:44Matt McCusker?

  And then the lady too, it's just like a total Delco lady, like, what does he do? What? And they're just firing away the questions.

• 1:50Speaker 00

  Probably controls the banks or something. Just, alright.

• 1:55Matt McCusker?

  So that was a fun, um, that was a fun thing to see.

• 1:57Speaker 00

  That's great.

• 1:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I thought it was funny. It was a funny.

• 2:00Speaker 00

  It's without a doubt funny.

• 2:01Matt McCusker?

  I, I guess he's gonna get fired. He has to get fired. There's no way. He's out. I believe he's out on the main line. He might be Chester County boy.

• 2:08Speaker 00

  Oh, if he's mainline, that's trouble.

• 2:10Matt McCusker?

  Yellow.

• 2:11Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's literally the home of.

• 2:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 2:14Speaker 00

  BB.

• 2:16Matt McCusker?

  It's where BB's from.

• 2:17Speaker 00

  BB was chilling out there.

• 2:19Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 2:19Speaker 00

  He's holding it down, dude.

• 2:20Matt McCusker?

  I'm surprised, yeah, he can't have a gully principle popping off like that.

• 2:24Speaker 00

  Fuck, no.

• 2:24Matt McCusker?

  He did have the gully popping off on the voice, dude. I don't like leaving voicemails, like, at all. The thought of having it run unnecessarily long.

• 2:34Speaker 00

  I listen to everybody. When some, when people call me and it stays on, I listen to the whole thing. I go, I know this motherfucker's talking shit. I know. It's my mom. Someone like, no. Just like, I know they're saying something fucked up about me.

• 2:46Matt McCusker?

  I always spy like that. If someone calls me, doesn't realize, or just, I, I'll sit there for an hour and just wait to get some stuff. I, dude, I was.

• 2:53Speaker 00

  These are just in their pocket. Can't really hear anything.

• 2:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. You just, you don't get much good stuff. I was phone screening. I'll be honest, this isn't good, but I was on the plane yesterday, phone screen spying.

• 3:03Speaker 00

  So hard not to.

• 3:04Matt McCusker?

  Bro, I was catching like crazy shit on this dude's screen next to me. So it was like, I don't wanna say, but it was.

• 3:11Speaker 00

  What was he hitting? Sexual stuff or?

• 3:13Matt McCusker?

  Love stuff, yeah.

• 3:14Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 3:15Matt McCusker?

  S E X stuff.

• 3:15Speaker 00

  That happens up there.

• 3:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's kinda nice.

• 3:17Speaker 00

  You get up in the sky, it's.

• 3:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man was horned up, but, uh, yeah, it was pretty tight. So I was like, kinda just like, I like caught one thing and went, what the fuck? And then I kept looking over and I was watching him go back and forth between like the, some lady and then there's a guy asking about some lady. It was like.

• 3:33Speaker 00

  This guy's having fun.

• 3:34Matt McCusker?

  Dude was being a beast. He was an older gentleman, too. I was surprised.

• 3:37Speaker 00

  It's a big font. Were you able to see it?

• 3:39Matt McCusker?

  I could see it. I could, I could read everything and I was just, I would stare straight ahead and just literally just go.

• 3:43Speaker 00

  Oh, he's next to you? Oh, I thought he was in front.

• 3:46Matt McCusker?

  No, I was.

• 3:47Speaker 00

  I was going, I was going next to me. I know. I thought at one point, I was ready for him to, at one point to be like, could you fucking not please? Cause I just kept being like.

• 3:58Speaker 00

  You're not very sly either. You're not slick, dude.

• 4:04Speaker 00

  You were definitely like.

• 4:07Matt McCusker?

  I was hitting with the haunted mansion painting just going.

• 4:12Matt McCusker?

  I couldn't stop. Once I caught one juicy detail, I went.

• 4:16Speaker 00

  You're gonna need the deets.

• 4:17Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it was, yeah, it was pretty sweet, man. I was loving that. I also, I had a nice flight on the way home. I got a million good boy points because we got on the plane and I put an old lady's bag up for her. So I'm like, all right, cool. So that's good boy points for the day. And then I sat across from her and then a mom and daughter got on and the mom sat next to me and the daughter sat over. And they were kind of like talking. I was like, do you guys want to swap seats?

• 4:39Speaker 00

  Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just thinking, there's so many, because I get fucking hammered on these flights. I try to get the good boy points. I've smashed people with bags.

• 4:49Speaker 00

  You got the blue ones, yours? Blue ones, yours? I got you.

• 4:54Speaker 00

  Hit some lady in the shoulder that's sitting down like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. They all watched me get 10 fucking vodkas the entire flight. Sorry.

• 5:04Matt McCusker?

  No, you gotta get the GPPs on the fucking.

• 5:06Speaker 00

  I try to get the GPPs, but sometimes it's too many vodka sodas.

• 5:09Matt McCusker?

  No, but an accidental smash of the bag is totally.

• 5:11Speaker 00

  I've done it. I'm not kidding, at least four times. Just full, just like a dead weight of bag onto somebody.

• 5:18Matt McCusker?

  They got negative 500 GPPs flying out. It wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't his fault. I had kind of set him up. But the whole, well, the long story short is the lady, I just kind of switched seats and then I sat next to the old lady whose bag I helped get up. Dude, for like five minutes, you're such a nice boy. And I was like, thank you. It was the best. She's like, it was amazing.

• 5:38Speaker 00

  I'm sorry, I'm sorry. One more. I'm thinking of the worst GPP I've ever seen at the airport. My uncle, I've told this story before. It kills me. I love thinking about, we just land, we're in JFK and so this lady tried to pick up her suitcase, a girl tried to pick up her suitcase, but it was stuck. And my uncle thought she just couldn't lift it. So he goes and literally fucking deadlifts this thing and just rips it apart at the scene. Her fucking laundry, her panties go everywhere. And then he just walked back and stood next to me like, oh shit. And then you watch it come back around to the lady and her bag just got ripped apart. Anyway, it was great. It was so fun to watch him do it. Oh shit. Anyway, I'll stop cutting you off.

• 6:22Matt McCusker?

  No, that's hilarious.

• 6:24Speaker 00

  It's just immediately in my head.

• 6:27Matt McCusker?

  Coming back and going, oh fuck, man.

• 6:30Speaker 00

  Just ripped that lady's bag in half. He did, dude. I don't know how he did it.

• 6:35Matt McCusker?

  Also, shout out to him. Shout out to him. That's awesome.

• 6:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's a beast.

• 6:38Matt McCusker?

  What a fucking animal, man.

• 6:40Speaker 00

  I don't know why he did it, though.

• 6:41Matt McCusker?

  I know, because every time if a woman's struggling, it's the best thing in the world.

• 6:44Speaker 00

  It is, but I'm.

• 6:45Matt McCusker?

  Gotcha.

• 6:45Speaker 00

  Know what I'm saying? Like, you feel a little, like, oh, this thing's clearly stuck. He must have thought the bag was 800 pounds.

• 6:52Matt McCusker?

  I think he just, I've done this before. He probably went up and was like, yeah, full steam ahead. He might have just been like, why? Because I'll do that every now and again when I'm like grabbing my bag down. I'll like one hand it and pull it down. So sometimes you pull with like too much force.

• 7:05Speaker 00

  That's when you hit people.

• 7:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. Or the baggage claim, when I'm there and I get a bag, I'll try to really like, just fucking beast it. That's Strongboy points.

• 7:15Speaker 00

  There's a lot of.

• 7:15Matt McCusker?

  I get GPs and Strong.

• 7:16Speaker 00

  The Strongboy points at the baggage claim is, you're gonna want to, but it, because it's always, you're so nervous, like, dude, I gotta get this thing quick. It's moving, it's moving a little fast.

• 7:25Matt McCusker?

  Yep.

• 7:26Speaker 00

  This thing's heavy as hell.

• 7:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 7:28Speaker 00

  It's not, ever. You go up and fucking lift it over your head like a fucking.

• 7:32Matt McCusker?

  I get, true. Well, the problem is, though, I'll fly, well, me and Brittany fly with the kids, we'll do one combined suitcase, so both of our stuff's in there. Dude, it weighs like fucking 65 pounds. So that thing can get kind of beefy. But, yeah, usually it's my, yeah, if it's just yours, it's not that heavy. But Nate got negative 500 good boy points at the airport. It wasn't, it wasn't your fault. We, so we, we go in there, first of all, we were flying out, Nate was, he was running a little late and the airport was slammed. So he almost missed the flight, which that's not, that's not your fault. That's not, you know, they were, I think they were racist against Nate. They wouldn't let him in the priority lane. He had, he had priority, but it wasn't on the boarding pass. So he went up, I'm like, just go through priority, it'll be faster. They're like, no.

• 8:13Matt McCusker?

  And then he tried to go to clear, nothing doing, back to priority, they're like, no. And then he, I was like, dude, we're gonna board in like five minutes. He just beast it under the line, snuck in, cut. It was like a sneak in cut, which is, that's.

• 8:25Speaker 00

  Got right through.

• 8:25Matt McCusker?

  He had to do that.

• 8:26Speaker 00

  Why are you making that face, Harry?

• 8:28Matt McCusker?

  That was survival. That was.

• 8:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:29Matt McCusker?

  I had no choice.

• 8:30Speaker 00

  If I, if I saw that, if I was standing in line and just saw that. Three weeks of racism.

• 8:38Speaker 00

  Three weeks.

• 8:39Speaker 02

  I saw people hitting the peak.

• 8:40Speaker 00

  Three weeks straight of racism.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  People peeking out the clear line were hitting that like, no, he's fucking not. I could see him behind me like, watching me get through successfully. Like, gosh.

• 8:50Speaker 00

  You had to do it, I understand.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  I had no choice.

• 8:52Matt McCusker?

  It was survival, all those clear scumbags looking at you. I don't know why I hate clear.

• 8:57Speaker 00

  So do I.

• 8:57Matt McCusker?

  I'm TSA pre, man.

• 8:58Speaker 00

  I used to be clear, now I've switched up on them.

• 9:01Matt McCusker?

  Yep, you had to.

• 9:02Speaker 02

  Pre-check all day.

• 9:03Speaker 00

  Also, the clear would set you up for failure, big time.

• 9:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man.

• 9:06Speaker 00

  If you hit clear at JFK, you gotta walk past a thousand Indians that are in line that, they don't know what clear is. They get furious.

• 9:14Matt McCusker?

  Oh, they get in and then they get stopped?

• 9:16Speaker 00

  They're in the line, and then you're going through clear and somebody's just going like, get out of the way. You gotta walk through their line.

• 9:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 9:22Speaker 00

  And they're like, no! They try to stop you and you're like, dude, fucking get off.

• 9:27Matt McCusker?

  Get out of here, dude.

• 9:29Speaker 00

  Here we go. This episode is brought to you by PrizePix. Everyone's favorite prize pr- everyone's favorite PrizePix holiday promotion is back. Seven days of Picksmas. PrizePix is giving out seven days of deals all the way through Christmas Day, including a Christmas Day max discount. Picksmas starts December 20th, so download the app today and unwrap those deals. On PrizePix, how you play is up to you. Matt, I'd love for you to riff all over me about your favorite feature.

• 9:59Matt McCusker?

  Uh, I like the stacks.

• 10:01Speaker 00

  Oh, you like stacks?

• 10:02Matt McCusker?

  Stacking them, that's when you stack picks.

• 10:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:05Matt McCusker?

  I like to stack all my picks.

• 10:07Speaker 00

  Matt.

• 10:07Matt McCusker?

  Especially if I stack against an injury reboot.

• 10:09Speaker 00

  What about an injury reboot?

• 10:11Matt McCusker?

  That's what I like.

• 10:12Speaker 00

  That's what happens, what happens if, what's an injury reboot?

• 10:15Matt McCusker?

  If someone gets injured, I believe you can reboot your stack.

• 10:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, you get booted up. If you want flexibility, choose FlexPlay where you can get paid even if one of your PrizePix misses. And if you want, I can't read, I'm sorry. And if you want the biggest payouts, go for the power play, no matter, I don't know what's happening. I think something's wrong. No matter your play, PrizePix is a great way to put your takes to the test. What the fuck, you gotta start reading, dude, I can't.

• 10:43Matt McCusker?

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• 10:58Speaker 00

  It's good to be right.

• 10:59Matt McCusker?

  Yes. Yeah, dude. So he goes, he gets through. He, you know, he beasts his way through. I was like, good job on that. But then I had already been in there and dude, the airport was fucking mobbed. So I go in and I'm at like the very, very far end of the airport. Uh, get like 36 where it's just like, there's nowhere to be. And I'm like, fuck, man. I, you know, I, it was like, we're about to board. And I'm like, I'm gonna get, I wanted to get on first because we had a connection. I was in group one. So I'm like, let me like, get up there. I don't like the butt, but I was like peeping out. Fucking screens and I would see three, four. I'm like, all right, I'll keep kind of popping up. I just wanted to be in position. And I, I had like, there's nowhere to go, but I finally weasel next to this guy. He's got like a fucking cowboy hat on. He's just standing there with his bag.

• 11:40Matt McCusker?

  And I, my plan was to stand like, they have like a little market there, but that was roped off. So I was like, fuck. So I just stood right next to this guy and I just heard him start going.

• 11:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course. I'd be so mad.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  God damn, you guys are pissing me off.

• 11:55Matt McCusker?

  He was so mad.

• 11:56Speaker 00

  I'd be so mad. Dude, if somebody stood right next to me.

• 11:59Matt McCusker?

  There was nowhere to go.

• 12:01Speaker 00

  Is this for boarding?

• 12:02Matt McCusker?

  I would have had, we were about to board.

• 12:03Speaker 00

  Who cares? Wait till everyone else boards. You're in first class.

• 12:06Matt McCusker?

  Here's the thing, because then people fill up the overhead slots. We were on a small plane. People fill up the overhead slots. Now I gotta put my bag five rows back, but then I have to jump off and get a quick connection. Our connection was tight. I think. Yeah, it was tight. I think on the way there. And we were delayed. So I was like, bro, I gotta get on this thing, get my stuff and be ready to get off this plane. But I still, I wasn't bugging. I, I've got like, I've like started bugging about that. I was chilling, but I was like, let me just get in a position. Everything's cool. Standing next to this guy, dude, literally starts.

• 12:33Matt McCusker?

  Like, I'm not, I'm not exaggerating. He starts making that noise.

• 12:35Speaker 00

  I would do that. I would do that.

• 12:37Matt McCusker?

  Well then, I stop and I like, I just.

• 12:39Speaker 00

  I would say something. I would be like, oh, hello.

• 12:42Matt McCusker?

  I turned to him. Well, he was, I think he was working that up. I didn't touch him. I didn't, I just got next to him.

• 12:47Speaker 00

  How close are we talking?

• 12:48Matt McCusker?

  I was fucking right. Everyone was right next to each other, dude.

• 12:51Speaker 00

  Get the fuck out of here. You're crazy.

• 12:53Matt McCusker?

  He goes like this.

• 12:56Matt McCusker?

  And I stop, I'm like, bro, are you okay?

• 12:58Speaker 00

  Oh, really?

• 13:00Matt McCusker?

  Not even like being mean.

• 13:01Speaker 00

  That would help.

• 13:01Matt McCusker?

  I was like, are you okay, dude? Like, for real? Like, what's going on? He was just like, everybody's fucking bumping into each other.

• 13:09Matt McCusker?

  Full, full spaz.

• 13:10Speaker 00

  He's totally correct.

• 13:12Matt McCusker?

  But I was like, dude.

• 13:13Speaker 00

  He's totally correct.

• 13:14Matt McCusker?

  I was like, there's nowhere to go. I was like, there's nowhere to go.

• 13:16Speaker 00

  Of course there is. Just fucking stand in the back until they announce your fucking group.

• 13:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but then you gotta push out. You gotta get up there anyway. So I'm like, I'm not gonna stand all the way there and then have to like, cause then you try, I've done that before, where then they go, okay, now it's this group. I'm like, wait, I didn't even get on. It's just like, then I have to like, I just, I'm like, let me just get in a position and I'll like, I try not to ever like, butt, where I'm like in front of you, but I'll try to get to the side by myself. It's a whole like system I have. So this guy's just like, everyone's just bumping into each other. Just in a full, full spaz, dude. I was like, dude, I'm like, oh man, everything's fine. And he's literally goes, I was like, what are you even talking about? Cause I didn't touch the guy. And he was like, I don't wanna talk about it.

• 13:55Matt McCusker?

  I'm like, all right, fine. Dude, but it's like, whenever someone's about to spaz, I'm just like, I have to push him over. Cause I was like laughing, like, what's the matter with you?

• 14:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's good stuff.

• 14:06Matt McCusker?

  And then, so I'm sitting there, all of a sudden here comes Nate. I go, oh boy.

• 14:11Matt McCusker?

  I got a red faced guy in a cowboy hat who's already fucking brewing.

• 14:15Speaker 00

  He's ready to swap. He's gonna swap that hat.

• 14:17Matt McCusker?

  He's gonna be mad with me.

• 14:18Speaker 00

  He's gonna break out that BK.

• 14:21Matt McCusker?

  I was like, when Nate comes up. I was like, Nate, I'm over here. I'm watching Nate come through. By the way, no one else had a fucking problem. Nate comes up and I go, this guy is, I might pop the top, dude. This guy might fucking go.

• 14:36Matt McCusker?

  Nate comes up and accidentally bumped his luggage. Dude, this guy's luggage was stacked like that high. It fell and hit a lady.

• 14:46Matt McCusker?

  I just watched him go, oh.

• 14:50Matt McCusker?

  And I'm sure it bothered him a little bit that Nate was black. Cause it's like, you're like, how could this get any worse? And a black guy busts in front of you and knocks your luggage into a, and the lady was like, oh.

• 15:04Matt McCusker?

  I could have been happier.

• 15:05Speaker 00

  I, yo, fuck you guys. I'm, I'm fully with the cowboy. I'm fully with the cowboy. This episode is brought to you by BlueChew. Oh yeah, fellas, let me introduce you to BlueChew Gold.

• 15:19Matt McCusker?

  Yo.

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• 15:41Matt McCusker?

  Because sex is not just be about being able to perform. I totally agree with that. It's about actually wanting to.

• 15:47Speaker 00

  Now wanting to is extremely important for sexual intercourse.

• 15:51Matt McCusker?

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• 16:11Speaker 00

  Oh yeah.

• 16:15Speaker 00

  You gotta start hitting the M and M right away. If you're the cowboy, you just go, I'm not afraid.

• 16:23Matt McCusker?

  We dished, I dished out, that was my bad. I dished out a double dose of punishment and it was like, and he was already fuming. I think security was crazy. So he was completely fumed out. And he was like prior, what was it called? A concierge key where they're like the very, very-

• 16:38Speaker 00

  He's a top flyer.

• 16:39Matt McCusker?

  Total top flyer. And he was, you know, surrounded by the hoi polloi of group one and two. So I don't think he was very happy.

• 16:46Speaker 00

  I mean, he's still talking about it. He's gonna, at Christmas, he's gonna be like, you know what? The airlines in this country have just gone to hell.

• 16:55Matt McCusker?

  What happened? His bag fell and hit an older lady and she was like, oh, he was like, oh, oh, like couldn't even talk. He was so mad. And then I kinda like followed him at the next airport. I was hoping he'd be on our plane.

• 17:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:11Matt McCusker?

  Cause I just wanted, I was just like, damn, this guy's gonna freak out.

• 17:13Speaker 00

  Where was your connection?

• 17:15Matt McCusker?

  Uh, where did we go to? I doubt. Oh yeah, we went to DC.

• 17:18Speaker 00

  He was headed to DC.

• 17:19Matt McCusker?

  Well, we went to DC and then he was, uh, we were going to Syracuse. He was still in our little wing. Cause we all like split off, but he came to our thing. I'm like, dude, is he gonna be on our flight? That'd be awesome.

• 17:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:30Matt McCusker?

  And, uh, and I was, I was observing at one point, we made it all the way-

• 17:33Speaker 00

  Observing him?

• 17:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 17:35Speaker 00

  That's also in my head, if that's going on with me, I'm going, is somebody, are they fucking with me? And you were, there was actually a malevolent force around him like, what's wrong with you, bro?

• 17:47Matt McCusker?

  I was laughing. Cause I was like, dude, he was literally going, uh, I was like, bro, are you okay? Just like laughing, be like, it's like, what's going on?

• 17:56Speaker 00

  Talk about it.

• 17:57Matt McCusker?

  I don't wanna talk about it.

• 17:59Speaker 00

  It's totally, what time was this flight? I know you guys love, I know you guys love 5am.

• 18:05Matt McCusker?

  It was 6:30 in the morning.

• 18:07Speaker 00

  This guy couldn't be more correct. You guys are the ones that are wrong.

• 18:13Matt McCusker?

  We made it all the way to Washington DC and I had been like, kind of following him. I hope he's on our plane. And then we went to the Red Plum Market in the airport and I got some chicken and then at one point, cause I had been like, kind of tailing him and I was like, damn, I lost him. We go, we gotta go to the Red Plum Market, I'm getting my chicken. He comes around the kiosk.

• 18:31Speaker 00

  From the Red Plum Market?

• 18:32Matt McCusker?

  It's just like a little, it's like a little place in a bunch of airports. I've been grumbling at airports so hard lately. Red Plum Market's good, they got some good chicken. But I grabbed my tray and I was like, damn, I lost him. I turn around, who is it but the cowboy right in front of me? And I went, I just saw like, oh, fuck. I was so happy, like, there you are. And he just was like, and just kind of, yeah.

• 18:54Speaker 00

  Fuck. He wasn't excited to see you?

• 18:56Matt McCusker?

  No, not at all. I don't think so at all. I ruined his day. I didn't mean to, dude. I got plenty of space. I didn't bump, I know I didn't bump this guy. But I saw Nate coming, I did, I'll be honest, I was, that evil part of me was like, hmm. Here we go, here we go.

• 19:12Speaker 00

  Here it comes.

• 19:15Matt McCusker?

  Moving my night to F7, please?

• 19:17Speaker 00

  Dude, 5:30 in the morning.

• 19:20Matt McCusker?

  Bro, it was, yeah, I could, I had my red light glasses on, just be like, are you okay?

• 19:24Speaker 00

  Were you wearing red light glasses? Dude.

• 19:27Matt McCusker?

  He got hit with the whack pack.

• 19:30Speaker 00

  He did.

• 19:31Matt McCusker?

  First thing in the morning. Imagine if you were genuinely mad and some dude was laughing next to you going, dude, are you okay?

• 19:39Speaker 00

  I know. Fuck it, and he's wearing fucking red glasses. You're in a cowboy outfit? And Nate was sweaty from sneaking in? I know you were dripping sweat. I know he was dripping sweat. Yeah, you're dripping sweat.

• 19:56Matt McCusker?

  He was so sweaty.

• 19:57Speaker 00

  And that's such a gross ass sweat. You didn't shower in the morning at 6:00 AM.

• 20:02Matt McCusker?

  That was the first thing Matt said when I walked up, after he told me about the guy.

• 20:06Speaker 00

  I know how sweaty you get, man.

• 20:07Matt McCusker?

  He was all sweaty. You're sweaty as hell.

• 20:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that was, that was my Friday morning. I was, man, I was on just cloud nine. It's been like, this is a funny shit.

• 20:17Speaker 00

  Yes, it is a treat.

• 20:18Matt McCusker?

  It was, I love seeing spa, dude, once people spaz at the airport, again, it could be me, it could be anybody. I could spaz for sure. But it was like, when I see someone else spazzing, there's just a part of me, it's like, bro, I wanna, I wanna see how far you can go.

• 20:30Speaker 00

  You wanna see a real spaz?

• 20:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 20:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:31Matt McCusker?

  I wanna see, I wanna see what you can fully do. Just, I doctor X them. I'm like, you have lots of potential. Let's see. But, yeah. He kept it in. Good for him. He didn't fully spaz.

• 20:43Speaker 00

  Maybe.

• 20:44Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 20:44Speaker 00

  Who knows? Wherever the fuck he went.

• 20:47Matt McCusker?

  The middle of the next flight is like, ah!

• 20:56Matt McCusker?

  Man, the weekend was good, though. We had a good time.

• 20:57Speaker 00

  Did I?

• 20:58Matt McCusker?

  Syracuse, New York.

• 20:59Speaker 00

  It's a good start to the weekend.

• 21:00Matt McCusker?

  Great start to the weekend. Good club, too. Was not bad, dude. The mall, the mall, dude, that is the sickest mall. It has a Dave and Buster's. It has a Dick's Sporting Goods. Uh, what else they have? Escape Room?

• 21:11Speaker 00

  I think that's every single mall.

• 21:13Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 21:14Speaker 00

  It's every, that's every single mall has a Dave and Buster's, Dick's.

• 21:17Matt McCusker?

  Go kart track?

• 21:18Speaker 00

  That, now you're talking, now you're talking next level.

• 21:21Matt McCusker?

  In the mall, though, dude? I've never seen it in the mall.

• 21:23Speaker 00

  Wait till you go to the Capital City Mall in Harrisburg.

• 21:26Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 21:27Speaker 00

  Christ, what are you talking about? That's the Capital City Mall.

• 21:29Matt McCusker?

  True, I didn't, I didn't, I, I've never seen, I only just seen like retail malls with like a food court. I didn't know they're putting the fucking good stuff in there now. Malls are fighting back. Everyone wants to fucking say malls are dead. Yeah, right, dude. You gotta see the, what was that place called? Destiny USA Mall?

• 21:44Speaker 00

  Malls got hit with a bit of the, same thing that happened to water parks.

• 21:52Speaker 00

  They did, dude. The Capital City Mall's, not, not my Capital City Mall, dude. It's, it's changed.

• 22:00Matt McCusker?

  Well, they, they, they did the, they did the, uh, what you gonna call it? Parental escort thing.

• 22:05Speaker 00

  What's that?

• 22:06Matt McCusker?

  The, if you're, if you're a teenager of any kind, nobody cares. If you're a teenager.

• 22:11Speaker 00

  If you're a white teen, you're just a young teen.

• 22:14Matt McCusker?

  Young teen. Your teen, your parents have to be with you. So they crack down on the cheering and running around.

• 22:19Speaker 00

  Well, that kinda, that kinda ruins the mall.

• 22:21Matt McCusker?

  I know. It kinda stinks. But I don't think they really enforce it. I think it's there if they need to drop the hammer. They can go, hey, teenagers aren't allowed in here by themselves. You know what I mean? Teenagers dressed in sports jerseys and sneakers are not allowed in here by themselves.

• 22:38Speaker 00

  Old people used to go and walk.

• 22:40Matt McCusker?

  The ball?

• 22:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. You ever see it?

• 22:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I've seen old people hit the fucking shuffle back in the day. Yeah.

• 22:45Speaker 00

  They, I think they would just bring like, old folks homes. Be like, here, just walk around.

• 22:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah, I, I, there was, uh, yeah, I think a lot of old people too. They would get like coffee at McDonald's in the morning and then just stretch their legs.

• 22:55Speaker 00

  For exercise, just walk through the mall.

• 22:57Matt McCusker?

  Hit the fucking M A double L. But that thing was, that mall was nice.

• 23:01Speaker 00

  M A double hockey sticks.

• 23:06Matt McCusker?

  See, it was victorious, man, but I did not eat well, man, this weekend. Nothing but fucking fried wings and, uh, flatbreads from the mall. Dropped a pile, bro.

• 23:17Speaker 00

  That's a pile.

• 23:17Matt McCusker?

  P I hockey stick E, dude.

• 23:19Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 23:19Matt McCusker?

  Big time. I woke up this morning, dude, I, first thing in the morning, just.

• 23:23Speaker 00

  P I single hockey stick.

• 23:26Speaker 00

  I mean, yeah, you put together a recipe. That's, yeah.

• 23:29Matt McCusker?

  I did. That's why, yeah, I was telling you earlier, fucking goddamn family has pinworms right now. So.

• 23:36Speaker 00

  It's good to pile out. If, if you got, if you got a pin, pinworm epidemic going through the house.

• 23:40Matt McCusker?

  I was telling my wife and she was like, you gotta take the fucking shit. I was like, bro, you think these things are fucking hanging in here?

• 23:44Speaker 00

  What, what, what is the shit you gotta take?

• 23:47Matt McCusker?

  It's like, it's like this, it's like banana flavored. It's like a chalky syrup. You gotta just chug, I had to chug like three tablespoons of it before I came here. That it kills if I have anything. I mean, I could have, who knows? I could have other parasites. It'll fucking kill whatever's in your body.

• 23:59Speaker 00

  It's good.

• 24:00Matt McCusker?

  Then you gotta wait a week because the pinworms lay eggs.

• 24:02Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 24:03Matt McCusker?

  So you gotta wait a week and then you have to take it so in case the eggs hatch, you kill those and then.

• 24:08Speaker 00

  I really hope you don't have any pinworms because I really sit in that chair a lot.

• 24:11Matt McCusker?

  We don't, I don't, I don't think they like come out of you, they come out of your butt at nighttime too.

• 24:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:15Matt McCusker?

  During the, during the day, my little wormies are sleeping.

• 24:18Speaker 00

  I, yeah, I've heard a lot of stories about this. You gotta take a flashlight to your kid's asshole at night. Look for worms.

• 24:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man. That's literally what you have to do.

• 24:27Speaker 00

  You gotta find the night crawlers. You gotta.

• 24:28Matt McCusker?

  You do.

• 24:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:29Matt McCusker?

  Gotta find the creepy crawlers. Yeah, you gotta hit them with the flashlight and just wait.

• 24:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, they come out of your kid's butthole. Oh.

• 24:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man. Yep.

• 24:38Speaker 00

  That's really fucked up. My cat got worms and I was sad about it. Watched him crawl out of his butt. I was going, no, Tibble.

• 24:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man. Would you wait? They say you can put, uh, tape over your butt when you sleep and wake up. I swear to god. And then you wake up, you check the tape.

• 24:52Speaker 00

  I blast the tape off. That's pretty, that's like a fun thing to do. I might start doing that anyway.

• 24:59Matt McCusker?

  Or do it like, you know, people do that with a door to see if anyone's been sneaking in your room. Just put a piece of tape over your butt, wake up, still there, you go, nice.

• 25:06Speaker 00

  Good.

• 25:06Matt McCusker?

  Nobody's accessed me, accessed me while I was sleeping.

• 25:10Speaker 00

  Damn, the flashlight into a butt.

• 25:13Matt McCusker?

  And wait, just waiting too.

• 25:14Speaker 00

  Waiting to see if your kid's got worms.

• 25:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man. But I was, I was at the, uh, Destiny Mall at the time, so I didn't have to deal with that, but yeah, shout out to Brittany for holding down the fort and taking care of all the worms. Worm situation. She was freaking, bro.

• 25:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course.

• 25:30Matt McCusker?

  I, and I get it.

• 25:31Speaker 00

  It's the grossest thing possible.

• 25:32Matt McCusker?

  It's disgusting.

• 25:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:34Matt McCusker?

  It's truly disgusting.

• 25:35Speaker 00

  It's my nightmare.

• 25:35Matt McCusker?

  She's scared of bugs. Like she's scared of regular bugs.

• 25:38Speaker 00

  You know, I got a thing with fucking.

• 25:39Matt McCusker?

  I know you don't like them bugs.

• 25:39Speaker 00

  Whatever these types of bugs are, parasites, there's something wrong with me. It's a very, yeah, it is like a sign of like schizophrenia.

• 25:48Matt McCusker?

  I don't, no, I think it's pretty normal to have like.

• 25:50Speaker 00

  No, it's always like there's bugs under my skin.

• 25:52Matt McCusker?

  Bugs on you.

• 25:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, I thought that, I, I think there's bugs.

• 25:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, okay, that's fair.

• 25:56Speaker 00

  Not now, but now I'm gonna be worried about.

• 25:58Matt McCusker?

  Pinworms?

• 25:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm gonna, when I'm laying in my parents' basement for Christmas, I'm gonna go, mom, I'm gonna have, I'm gonna have enough drinks to work up the courage to go, mom, when I fall asleep tonight, I need you to come in here with a flashlight.

• 26:11Matt McCusker?

  Check my butt hole.

• 26:12Speaker 00

  And just check my butt for worms.

• 26:14Matt McCusker?

  Your mom would do.

• 26:14Speaker 00

  No, you have worms? My son has worms? You're 40, you have worms?

• 26:25Speaker 00

  It can happen to anybody, mom.

• 26:28Matt McCusker?

  She would check for sure.

• 26:31Speaker 00

  I don't know if she would.

• 26:32Matt McCusker?

  She would check your butt. If you were like, mom, if you came to her in earnest and was like, mom, I really need you to check for me, they would do it in a heartbeat.

• 26:37Speaker 00

  I guess.

• 26:38Matt McCusker?

  She would honestly not, I'm.

• 26:39Speaker 00

  No, she's not like, we, we don't have that.

• 26:42Matt McCusker?

  What do you mean?

• 26:42Speaker 00

  I don't think she's one of those ladies that like enjoys that shit.

• 26:45Matt McCusker?

  Like what?

• 26:45Speaker 00

  Like gross shit with their kids.

• 26:47Matt McCusker?

  Not like that, but I'm saying just like, you know, she just probably remembers you as like a little tiny baby. She's like, we probably just.

• 26:52Speaker 00

  She would find out the hard way. I'm all man now. She'd be staring down the barrel of a man's ass.

• 27:00Speaker 00

  With worms. Sarlacc bit.

• 27:04Speaker 00

  Coming right at you.

• 27:05Matt McCusker?

  Well, America does have this thing where like the rest of the world like constantly takes dewarmer and all this stuff. We we think that we don't have like parasites and shit. And I think we I think a lot of people have parasites. So I can give you some a dose too. You can take some of the banana flavored.

• 27:19Speaker 00

  Just in case.

• 27:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, what the fuck? Why not? It's not gonna hurt you.

• 27:21Speaker 00

  I hear you.

• 27:22Matt McCusker?

  It's not gonna hurt you. It probably fucking stopped COVID too, if you get COVID.

• 27:26Speaker 00

  I think it does.

• 27:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, my immune system's on fire right now that I've taken the dewarmer.

• 27:33Speaker 00

  I believe it.

• 27:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that shit was nasty. But yeah, so that was that was my fucking deal, dude. Flew home to an empty house. All my worm girls were gone.

• 27:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:42Matt McCusker?

  Where's my worm girls?

• 27:43Speaker 00

  Worm sisters.

• 27:47Matt McCusker?

  All my worm girls are gone. I almost didn't take it. And I like was talking to a FaceTime and I'm like, I forgot she had the medicine. I'm like, what is this? It's like, that's your dewarmer. Take it right now. I was like, fuck. Chugged it. I'm I'm paranoid about taking a new thing. If I take like a new medicine for the first 40 minutes, I'm like, oh dude, what if it has a weird side effect with just me? And I just die. Right? So I had that was like my half an hour before I left, just being like. Am I feeling this right now?

• 28:12Speaker 00

  You're probably feeling it, dude. You go, that didn't do shit. I'm taking another one. I'm not even fucking high.

• 28:19Matt McCusker?

  Dewarmer sucked.

• 28:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that was our weekend, man. We just fucking it was the spaz was a highlight. Then we just had two fun shows and uh, I don't think anything else really fun happened. I think we just kind of had a good old time. Yeah, it's just fucking freezing cold. I did work out in a uh, the gym. I went to the gym, you know, or not the hotel gym. And there was a basketball team full of like, fourth graders with one adult. So I went in there and fucking mugged them.

• 28:47Speaker 00

  Lifting?

• 28:48Matt McCusker?

  They were like kind of playing around with all this shit while this one guy was just like, oh, be careful, be careful. And he was just like, I walked in.

• 28:54Speaker 00

  You should have, you should have, are you still powerless? You should have been screaming in there.

• 28:58Matt McCusker?

  I wanted to. It only had was fifty.

• 28:59Speaker 00

  Slamming plates.

• 29:00Matt McCusker?

  Fifty pound dumbbells. I couldn't even have.

• 29:01Speaker 00

  Slammed them on the ground.

• 29:02Matt McCusker?

  I should have. I didn't want to fucking grab them these kids. I did mugged them with the treadmill. I put it on 14%.

• 29:08Speaker 00

  They got next to you and you went.

• 29:11Matt McCusker?

  No, I didn't care.

• 29:11Speaker 00

  You became the cowboy. There's little kids running around, little kids running around the gym. You go, I don't want to talk about it. Especially you juiced up, you probably spazzing on them. They shouldn't be in here.

• 29:23Matt McCusker?

  No, I didn't even care. The guy was, the guy was super apologetic and I'm like, bro, I need my little corner. And then I hit the 15, 15% incline on the treadmill and I was running, sprinting hills on the treadmill.

• 29:32Speaker 00

  Damn.

• 29:33Matt McCusker?

  Just mugging the kids.

• 29:34Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 29:34Matt McCusker?

  Just letting them know, but you guys think shit's fucking sweet, bro. I'm about to turn 40, I got worms in my butt.

• 29:38Speaker 00

  That's it.

• 29:38Matt McCusker?

  I'm fucking running.

• 29:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, life sucks. I'm in Syracuse on a treadmill with worms in my butt.

• 29:47Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Dude, real quick, gotta tell you guys about this.

• 29:52Speaker 00

  Oh, I like this.

• 29:52Matt McCusker?

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• 30:35Matt McCusker?

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• 30:49Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 30:50Matt McCusker?

  You're a fool.

• 30:51Speaker 00

  Nutri you.

• 30:52Matt McCusker?

  A pity that NutraFol.

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• 31:10Matt McCusker?

  It's 100% vegan, biotin free, and comes in a smaller capsule size to make your daily routine easier. I can't get enough of this stuff.

• 31:19Speaker 00

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• 31:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you chilled.

• 31:46Speaker 00

  Just watched some football. It was a good time.

• 31:48Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 31:48Speaker 00

  Watched the Jake Paul fight.

• 31:49Matt McCusker?

  Dude.

• 31:50Speaker 00

  Did you guys get to watch that?

• 31:51Matt McCusker?

  No, I didn't even know what was going on until I woke up the next morning. I said Jake Paul got knocked out. I said, so what?

• 31:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:56Matt McCusker?

  Why'd he fight that guy? That guy's enormous.

• 31:58Speaker 00

  Probably for a hundred million dollars.

• 31:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I mean, that's really what people wanted to see is him get knocked out.

• 32:04Speaker 00

  Yeah. He, it looked like he was, it looked like Anthony Joshua was kind of letting it go a little further.

• 32:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 32:11Speaker 00

  But, uh, he also could have just been waiting to tire him out.

• 32:15Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 32:15Speaker 00

  And then, but.

• 32:16Matt McCusker?

  I saw the highlights.

• 32:17Speaker 00

  You gotta give Jake Paul some credit. He was fully gassed, like falling on the ground constantly. Kept getting up. Good for him.

• 32:23Matt McCusker?

  It's also.

• 32:25Speaker 00

  People love hating on that guy. And I get it. He's, he's.

• 32:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 32:28Speaker 00

  He acts a fool.

• 32:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he's like a YouTube guy, but it's also.

• 32:31Speaker 00

  He did stand up, I think, with a fucking shattered jaw.

• 32:34Matt McCusker?

  And dude, I mean, fighting that guy, that guy is, that guy's like a.

• 32:37Speaker 00

  Terrifying.

• 32:38Matt McCusker?

  Nasty boxer, but he's also way bigger.

• 32:41Speaker 00

  He was a heavyweight champ.

• 32:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, that's, that's what I'm saying. It's like, you gotta, you gotta give credit where it's due. Even if they were like, we had an agreement to not do a lot of damage. It's like, dude, if I'd blocked a body shot.

• 32:51Speaker 00

  He started going for damage.

• 32:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he fucking broke his jaw.

• 32:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:54Matt McCusker?

  If I were to block one of that guy's body shots with my arms, I would still quit the fight.

• 32:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, kill.

• 32:58Matt McCusker?

  It would hurt so bad. It would fuck, I'd probably fall over.

• 33:01Speaker 00

  Punching the fucking arm?

• 33:02Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 33:03Speaker 00

  Ow.

• 33:07Speaker 00

  Everybody that doesn't know how to fight in these fights just turns around and tries to walk away. You get hit, you're like, okay, that's it.

• 33:16Speaker 00

  You're hooked in the back of the head.

• 33:17Matt McCusker?

  It would seriously just be like.

• 33:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I had to give credit where it was due. I was like, bro, just even fighting that guy. Cause I guess everyone was being like, you know, a real boxer. Dude, fighting that, just fighting somebody at that skill level is crazy.

• 33:29Speaker 00

  And that size, the size difference.

• 33:30Matt McCusker?

  The size was crazy.

• 33:31Speaker 00

  It's crazy.

• 33:32Matt McCusker?

  That dude mocked Paul.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  It was interesting to me because before they signed this deal, he was supposed to fight Gervonta Davis, who's significantly smaller than him.

• 33:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:42Speaker 03

  So maybe that had something to do with it, trying to fight someone bigger than him after he got a bunch of backlash for trying to fight a small guy.

• 33:51Matt McCusker?

  I mean, well.

• 33:52Speaker 00

  Gervonta would be a problem.

• 33:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, he would be a big problem.

• 33:55Speaker 00

  He'd be a real problem for him.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  But that was an interesting, they called it off, like, Gervonta was alluding to there being like shady business going on and stuff.

• 34:03Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 34:04Speaker 03

  I think so, I don't know.

• 34:05Speaker 00

  I think that's every single boxing match.

• 34:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, true.

• 34:07Speaker 00

  Ever.

• 34:08Speaker 03

  True.

• 34:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 34:09Speaker 00

  Every single time.

• 34:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's, that's, that was like, kind of the rumor stuff I heard online that they, they believe there was like a, you know, a contract clause to like not do a lot of damage.

• 34:20Speaker 00

  I think they at least let, let it go three or four rounds before you start swinging.

• 34:24Matt McCusker?

  Before you start.

• 34:27Matt McCusker?

  What do you mean?

• 34:27Speaker 03

  Bet on how long the fight lasts. Like my friend bet on it to go over two and a half rounds. And like, that's a lock. If you know that they're doing that sort of, like, it's pretty shady.

• 34:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 34:38Speaker 03

  When you bring the sports book into it.

• 34:40Matt McCusker?

  True. I mean, that was, yeah, credit, credit to him for even just taking the damage. Cause that was like, he was fucking whaling him, bro.

• 34:48Matt McCusker?

  But they, he said he never threw a straight right the whole time.

• 34:53Matt McCusker?

  I think he hooked him. Was that a hooker? I think it was a hook. I think, I think he just fucking hooked him. Yeah, he, that was crazy. All my heroes fell, dude.

• 35:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:02Matt McCusker?

  Paul fell, Cobra Tate fell.

• 35:04Speaker 00

  Cobra Tate.

• 35:05Matt McCusker?

  I might have to step up into the manosphere. Wes Watson lost 80 pounds of muscle. I was telling you about that. I don't know if it's 80, but he lost a lot of muscle and fucking, there's a guy who makes, there's a dude on YouTube on Wes Watson's ass, bro.

• 35:18Speaker 00

  Really?

• 35:18Matt McCusker?

  His name is Johnny something. I forget his name, but he, dude, he makes like real time documentaries. Like, he doesn't have any fucking muscle anymore. Those little twerps. Just attacks him the whole time. But yeah, Wes Watson isn't even about muscles anymore. He doesn't even care. He's on the other shit.

• 35:34Speaker 00

  He's too busy.

• 35:35Matt McCusker?

  He's way too busy.

• 35:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:36Matt McCusker?

  So, but yeah, the, the guy's on his ass right now. He's like, you're not even jacked anymore.

• 35:40Speaker 00

  All I saw was Cobra Tate getting hit with uppercuts.

• 35:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 35:44Speaker 00

  Kind of just wild ass uppercuts.

• 35:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I mean, it happens, bro. You stepping in the ring, obviously. You know, who am I to even talk?

• 35:51Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 35:51Matt McCusker?

  I don't have any dust. I'm the, you know, I'm not the man in the arena, but.

• 35:54Speaker 00

  No.

• 35:54Matt McCusker?

  My heroes have fallen. Now I don't have any idea what to say to girls.

• 35:58Speaker 00

  Fuck. I didn't think about that.

• 36:00Matt McCusker?

  Exactly. I gotta, that guy who beat him up, I need to hear what he thinks about girls.

• 36:05Speaker 00

  What does he think about how to approach women?

• 36:06Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. I'm waiting to hear.

• 36:07Speaker 00

  Probably throw a drink on him and spit on him.

• 36:09Matt McCusker?

  Call him a whore.

• 36:11Speaker 00

  That's usually the message.

• 36:12Matt McCusker?

  I'm awaiting instructions for my new sensei.

• 36:15Speaker 00

  We'll find him. We'll find a new sensei.

• 36:17Matt McCusker?

  Who's it gonna be? Show me one guy in the manosphere who's still fucking standing strong.

• 36:22Speaker 00

  Milo Yiannopoulos.

• 36:24Matt McCusker?

  True. Yeah, I guess he could, he could talk about what to say to girls too now.

• 36:28Speaker 00

  He's straight as hell.

• 36:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he's straight as a fucking arrow. So, talk to, yeah, we talked to Milo about girls. I don't know. That'd be nice.

• 36:39Matt McCusker?

  He knows about girls. What are we talking about? Dude, he's a YouTube celebrity. You don't think he gets a ton of girls?

• 36:48Speaker 00

  Relax, Sean.

• 36:51Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. Or maybe it could be Nicki Minaj might be my new hero.

• 36:54Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 36:55Matt McCusker?

  That's a good hero.

• 36:56Speaker 00

  That's a good one.

• 36:56Matt McCusker?

  Dude, she's, I, I, I don't know. I, I believe her. I think she's been super right wing this whole time.

• 37:02Speaker 00

  I think, yeah, I mean, when Lil Wayne met Trump, she was probably, she probably go, okay.

• 37:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. And again, she, she was a absolute, you know, she broke the story about her cousin's gigantic balls from the COVID vaccine, so.

• 37:13Speaker 00

  That would probably, yeah, that would red pill her. Cause everyone's like, shut the fuck up, bitch. You can't, you can't go against the vax badge.

• 37:21Matt McCusker?

  I know. She went against it. She was the only person. But I don't know. I don't know what that's all about, though. I'm kinda curious.

• 37:28Speaker 00

  What?

• 37:29Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. I don't know if it's like a rebranding thing. I don't know if she's seeing it peeping the Candace bag.

• 37:35Matt McCusker?

  Candace's bag is up right now.

• 37:37Speaker 00

  Nicki Minaj has a substantial bag. She probably still has the bag.

• 37:43Matt McCusker?

  Probably has the bag for sure, but dude, the Candace bag is crazy.

• 37:47Speaker 00

  Is it?

• 37:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, bro. I think she, I think her show is like enormous. I think. I could be wrong.

• 37:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's like she is like one of the biggest shows.

• 37:57Speaker 00

  Podcast is like for real, one of the biggest podcasts.

• 37:59Matt McCusker?

  That makes sense.

• 38:00Speaker 00

  Yeah. Since I think since Charlie Kirk died, like she's been talking about it a lot and it's blown up since then.

• 38:07Matt McCusker?

  She also has.

• 38:07Speaker 00

  I watched a couple of those episodes.

• 38:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, she adds a little, she's got her secret recipe. She has her secret ingredient. She's been adding to her show right now. Just being like blaming the juice for everything. That shit's hot right now.

• 38:19Speaker 00

  It is hot.

• 38:20Matt McCusker?

  I mean, bro, you give me the word, we can take this show to the top.

• 38:27Matt McCusker?

  It is hot. It's so fucking hot right now to be just go crazy, go dumb on the on the J E Ws. But nah, I just want to do a comedy podcast. Dude, I'm telling you.

• 38:37Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 38:38Matt McCusker?

  The biggest pod.

• 38:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 38:40Matt McCusker?

  The biggest pod.

• 38:41Speaker 00

  Every single one.

• 38:42Matt McCusker?

  It's crazy. I mean, we're just fucking leaving money on the goddamn table.

• 38:48Speaker 00

  We gotta get in there. We gotta do our, we gotta do independent research.

• 38:52Matt McCusker?

  True. I don't know. I'll just make stuff up to.

• 38:56Speaker 00

  On what?

• 38:58Speaker 02

  It says she's number one, like in the, at the end of this year, she hit number one globally for downloads and views. With 3.6 million daily streams.

• 39:11Matt McCusker?

  People want to know.

• 39:12Speaker 03

  I looked up her net worth though. Well, I guess you can't really, I don't know.

• 39:15Matt McCusker?

  What you mean?

• 39:15Speaker 03

  How true it is.

• 39:16Speaker 00

  Those things are wrong.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, it says like 20 mil for Candace Owens and Nicki Minaj is like 150 million.

• 39:22Matt McCusker?

  Okay, well, I'll shut the fuck up then.

• 39:25Matt McCusker?

  You're probably right though.

• 39:26Speaker 00

  Barbie, bro.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, she had a lot of hits.

• 39:28Matt McCusker?

  You're probably right. Yeah, you're probably right.

• 39:30Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 39:31Matt McCusker?

  And she was on Lil Wayne's music label too, so.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:38Matt McCusker?

  You know.

• 39:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:41Matt McCusker?

  Probably.

• 39:41Speaker 00

  I mean.

• 39:42Matt McCusker?

  Young money.

• 39:44Speaker 00

  Come on, bro.

• 39:44Matt McCusker?

  Yo.

• 39:45Speaker 00

  Come on, bro. How big?

• 39:46Matt McCusker?

  Let's.

• 39:47Speaker 00

  What are we talking about?

• 39:48Matt McCusker?

  True. I guess it's not on here. Why is it not on Spotify?

• 39:50Speaker 00

  It is. Peep number nine.

• 39:52Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 39:54Speaker 00

  Peep number seven.

• 39:55Matt McCusker?

  Uh oh, true.

• 39:56Speaker 00

  And we don't have to be nasty like that.

• 39:58Matt McCusker?

  That's true. We're number seven.

• 39:59Speaker 00

  We're just good boys. I'm good boys.

• 40:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we're just getting G B Ps around here. Getting G B P's, you know, also telling ourselves I wasn't wrong at the airport, that's my bad.

• 40:08Speaker 00

  No, you weren't wrong, you weren't wrong.

• 40:09Matt McCusker?

  I wasn't wrong initially, but the amount of glee I was taking and following this man and peep, I was peeping on him, dude.

• 40:16Speaker 00

  I would have also followed him, I'd like to see what he's doing. There's nothing else to do at the airport. If you're watching a potential spaz. It's so nice, because I see him online all the time, I rarely get to see him in person.

• 40:27Matt McCusker?

  He kept it, I'll be, you know, I'll give him credit where it's due, he did keep it contained pretty well.

• 40:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:32Matt McCusker?

  I saw one other good spaz. What do you, you disagree?

• 40:35Speaker 02

  I mean, when I bumped his back, he hit it out loud, like.

• 40:42Speaker 02

  That was what I pulled up to. I didn't even like.

• 40:45Matt McCusker?

  True, but dude, if you're fucking grumbling, if you're hitting audible grumbles.

• 40:49Speaker 00

  A sweaty dude comes and fucking knocks your shit over.

• 40:53Matt McCusker?

  Bro, he had the biggest bags of all time though.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  His bag was crazy. They were like stacked up like for real for almost as tall as me. It was crazy. And it was just fucking nail-biting.

• 41:06Matt McCusker?

  But, oh man, yeah, I just, you know, I didn't push the envelope any further, but I was trying to get as close as possible to him.

• 41:17Matt McCusker?

  You can't spaz like that. I mean, you really should.

• 41:20Speaker 00

  You can grumble, dude.

• 41:21Matt McCusker?

  You could, no dude, this was a growl. You can grumble, but you can't growl.

• 41:25Speaker 00

  Did he have headphones on?

• 41:26Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 41:27Speaker 00

  Oh, so, alright.

• 41:29Matt McCusker?

  No, no, I know what you're saying, he was like, he didn't realize how loud he was talking, this was a growl, dude.

• 41:35Speaker 00

  This is a headphoneless grumble.

• 41:37Matt McCusker?

  Headphoneless grumble growl.

• 41:42Speaker 00

  That's fucking crazy.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  It's so funny, dude.

• 41:46Matt McCusker?

  I literally, I'll just, it's such a joy in my heart, just really.

• 41:49Speaker 00

  I've become like a, like a mask-wearing liberal in there. I'm very passive-aggressive, I'm like, oh, that's nice. Oh, he knocked over my back, great, thank you.

• 42:00Matt McCusker?

  I guess I'll pick it up then.

• 42:01Speaker 00

  Oh, I'll pick it up. No problem. You know what time it is. Everybody at home, it's time. This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money. Matt, I need you to riff for me daddy on how much, what, you know, what do you fucking do with Rocket Money?

• 42:20Matt McCusker?

  How much time were you spending each month trying to manage your finances before Rocket Money? What do you do with that extra time now?

• 42:29Speaker 00

  Yeah. What do you do with that extra time?

• 42:31Matt McCusker?

  Every, well, once I got my, it took me a while. When I had my budget all over the place, I didn't have a lot of time, you know, to just like do the stuff I needed to do, take care of my own kind of.

• 42:39Speaker 00

  Personal stuff.

• 42:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, personal health, reproductive health. And now that I've organized my budget with Rocket Money, let's just say I've been launching some rockets of my own.

• 42:49Speaker 00

  And it's fun. I'll tell you this, man. When you launch, when you launch a rocket, it's fun to go, here comes Rocket Money.

• 43:01Matt McCusker?

  Your babe walks in, you go, what are you doing?

• 43:06Speaker 00

  Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

• 43:17Speaker 00

  Take it away, Matt.

• 43:18Matt McCusker?

  With Rocket Money, you can see all of your transactions automatically categorized across accounts and set up customizable categories and tags to reveal your spending patterns. You can use it to set budgets and goals, get personalized insights and regular reports, and even receive real time alerts for large transitions.

• 43:40Speaker 00

  Sometimes, sometime, oh, I thought it was transactions as well.

• 43:43Matt McCusker?

  Large transactions.

• 43:44Speaker 00

  Transactions joke.

• 43:45Matt McCusker?

  What did you say?

• 43:46Speaker 00

  Sometimes you gotta give somebody a real personal alert for a large transaction that's headed their way. You know what I mean? You gotta go, get out of the way, it's a big Rocket Money.

• 43:55Matt McCusker?

  What do you want me to do with this Rocket Money?

• 44:02Matt McCusker?

  Upcoming bills, refunds and low balances. And Rocket Money can even automate savings to grow towards your goals with adjustable amounts and frequency. Just set it up and let it do its thing. Shane, give me one more. You do the Rocket Money the best.

• 44:16Speaker 00

  Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/msp. That's rocketmoney.com/msp. Rocketmoney.com/msp.

• 44:33Matt McCusker?

  Hey guys, please catch me doing standup. I'll be in Houston, Texas, January 16th. I'll be in Dal- did I what the fuck that say?

• 44:41Speaker 00

  You'll be inside of a Houston Texan.

• 44:45Matt McCusker?

  Hey guys, it's me. January 16th, I'll be at Houston, Texas, at Performance Hall. January 17th, I'll be at Majestic Theater in Dallas. And then on to Hartford, Connecticut, Albany, New York, Las Vegas, Denver, Boise, go, and a bunch more places. Go to mattmccusker.com for details. Also, Tuesday, the day this is out, at The Creek, I'll be doing the show Alga-Nuts where we go through people's cellphones.

• 45:10Speaker 00

  Is this the debut?

• 45:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's gonna be good. It's gonna be fun. So if you're still around in town, coming to The Creek and Cave, I believe it's at 8 o'clock.

• 45:17Speaker 00

  It could be a hit new show.

• 45:18Matt McCusker?

  I think it could be fun.

• 45:19Speaker 00

  I think it could be a hit.

• 45:20Matt McCusker?

  Go through people's cellphones, project their algorithm onto a screen and then see what the algorithm says about them and you know, we'll show our own algorithms too, so.

• 45:28Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 45:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 45:29Speaker 00

  Uh, I just added Chicago, Nashville, Charlotte and Boston. So check those out. And then of course, the show at The Link in Philadelphia. Please go to that. Let's go. I swear it's gonna be good.

• 45:43Matt McCusker?

  It's gonna be sick.

• 45:44Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 45:46Speaker 03

  Hello, sorry for the interruption. I'll also, this is Sean Gardini and I'll be in Atlanta. But, sorry.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  Hello, sorry for the interruption. I just wanted to let you know I'll be in Atlanta in January 22 and 24 and we have the Noctis January 6th and then the third Tuesday of January as well. Please come if you can. Thank you.

• 46:09Speaker 00

  I saw a guy riding his bike, wearing a mask yesterday.

• 46:12Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 46:13Speaker 00

  It fucking pissed me off.

• 46:16Speaker 00

  And I was like. I was just on my constitutional. Saw a guy riding a bike, wearing a fucking M95.

• 46:23Matt McCusker?

  That's crazy, bro.

• 46:25Speaker 00

  I was, I wanted to, I wanted to yell.

• 46:28Matt McCusker?

  Unless he was trying to get his.

• 46:29Speaker 00

  I grumbled.

• 46:30Matt McCusker?

  You think he was trying to get his VO2 max up?

• 46:32Speaker 00

  No.

• 46:33Matt McCusker?

  That's crazy to wear. No, he definitely wasn't. The K95. It's crazy, man. On the bike?

• 46:40Speaker 00

  They're putting up some wild signs around here in my park.

• 46:42Matt McCusker?

  What'd you get?

• 46:43Speaker 00

  They just keep posting these signs that say queer kids fight back.

• 46:46Matt McCusker?

  Whoa.

• 46:47Speaker 00

  They're getting fired up.

• 46:49Matt McCusker?

  Queer kids fight back?

• 46:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, and then it's a picture of a dog like biting someone. I guess queer kids are dogs and.

• 46:55Matt McCusker?

  What the fuck?

• 46:56Speaker 00

  I guess that's the message.

• 46:57Matt McCusker?

  Was there an event that kicked this off?

• 46:59Speaker 00

  I don't know. No, they keep popping up. They're getting bigger signs.

• 47:01Matt McCusker?

  Queer kids fight back? I'm not, I don't know about this.

• 47:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man. Hold on a second now.

• 47:09Speaker 00

  They're making signs for Nate.

• 47:12Speaker 00

  They know.

• 47:13Matt McCusker?

  I was about to say we're tired of getting called zesty. We're, we're about to start biting people.

• 47:19Speaker 00

  Start growling and biting people?

• 47:21Matt McCusker?

  Oh, okay.

• 47:24Speaker 00

  What is it?

• 47:25Matt McCusker?

  Um.

• 47:28Matt McCusker?

  I don't know, honestly.

• 47:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, this is, this is in my park.

• 47:31Matt McCusker?

  Queer kids fight back.

• 47:33Speaker 00

  Isn't that wild?

• 47:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it, it just includes various forms of activism from grassroots organizing and protests to legal challenges and working with supportive organizations. Well, how about say queer kids get political? You know what I mean?

• 47:50Matt McCusker?

  Queer kids are cool.

• 47:51Speaker 00

  There's also, uh, there's a house by me that somebody spray painted adulteress on the fence. And then a little further down, you see her full name is a slut, spray painted somewhere else.

• 48:04Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 48:06Speaker 00

  Some drama going on around here.

• 48:07Matt McCusker?

  A little drama amongst the Austin housewives.

• 48:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 48:10Speaker 00

  Adulteress, real big. It's like, get out there and paint over that.

• 48:14Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 48:14Speaker 00

  Been there for fucking two weeks.

• 48:15Matt McCusker?

  Maybe she likes it.

• 48:16Speaker 00

  True.

• 48:17Matt McCusker?

  Might get her off.

• 48:18Speaker 00

  I stopped by. I hit the old Wilson. Got right over the fence. I go, hey.

• 48:25Matt McCusker?

  Heard there's an adulteress in these bars.

• 48:26Speaker 00

  There's a slut in here.

• 48:31Speaker 00

  Saw the sign out front. I'm here for the slut.

• 48:35Matt McCusker?

  Go spray paint your phone number right now.

• 48:38Matt McCusker?

  Call me slut. Yeah, that's pretty wild dude.

• 48:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:42Matt McCusker?

  How far is it from here?

• 48:43Speaker 00

  I can walk there, it's pretty close.

• 48:45Matt McCusker?

  We should take a gander at that between the episodes. I'd like to see this slut.

• 48:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:49Matt McCusker?

  Just knock up and be like, you know you have a disparaging message on your, uh, on your thing. Dude, we were, we were driving recently and someone had the, uh, you know when like the windshield gets dusty and people write? Someone had just wrote the N word on this person's car. And, uh, so me and Brittany are driving back from the gym and Brittany pulls up and is like, hey.

• 49:09Speaker 00

  It was funny until then. Sorry.

• 49:11Matt McCusker?

  Well, it was two Mexican ladies in the car. Cause I was like, I want to see whose car this is. And then we pull up and.

• 49:17Speaker 00

  Didn't even know what it said.

• 49:20Matt McCusker?

  I just want to see like, what are we working with here? Just two Mexican ladies just sitting there and Brittany like tried to tell them you have the N and then they were like, no, N D N A's. And then she like, uh, Google translated to them. They went, oh, just kind of just kept driving. Didn't give a fuck.

• 49:37Matt McCusker?

  She just wanted to tell them.

• 49:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, go ahead. Knock yourself out.

• 49:40Speaker 00

  I think that's a reasonable thing to tell someone.

• 49:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you have the N word on your car.

• 49:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. You should get a car wash.

• 49:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, really? Or just wipe it.

• 49:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:49Matt McCusker?

  Someone pranked them. They got punked.

• 49:51Speaker 00

  It's a classic prank.

• 49:52Speaker 02

  That happened to my parents like right after we moved here. That was like the first thing my mom told me. It was like, cause they're old. They don't be taking their car out all the time. But it was like somebody got them with it on the block too.

• 50:01Matt McCusker?

  Oh no.

• 50:02Speaker 00

  In Redding?

• 50:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. Um, it's probably a Puerto Rican person though, like just.

• 50:07Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 50:08Speaker 02

  Yeah. Or one of you guys. Not taking you guys.

• 50:11Speaker 00

  No offense. I'm not trying to claim innocence without knowing anything. Seems like it wasn't us. In Redding?

• 50:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, y'all are in there. Y'all are there. Y'all are in Redding.

• 50:21Matt McCusker?

  Never even been to Redding personally.

• 50:24Speaker 00

  There's like 12 white people.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  It's, it's about, it's about, y'all are like 10%.

• 50:28Speaker 00

  There's a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:29Matt McCusker?

  How big, how big were you talking on the back windshield?

• 50:32Speaker 00

  That's fucking crazy.

• 50:33Speaker 02

  I didn't, I didn't add, I didn't, I didn't get, my mom didn't give me the details. She waited for like a while before she even told me apparently.

• 50:38Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 50:39Speaker 02

  Yeah. She was like, yeah, we got it. It's all, it was all done and said, you know, said and done when I heard about it.

• 50:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 50:44Speaker 02

  But.

• 50:44Matt McCusker?

  Rough start today.

• 50:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:47Matt McCusker?

  That's what's nasty.

• 50:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 50:49Matt McCusker?

  Hard R? Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:51Speaker 00

  How'd they, how'd they write it?

• 50:55Matt McCusker?

  It was the same way, like in a dirty, on a, on a, on a dirty car. Hit a dirty part of the car. They're old.

• 51:02Speaker 00

  No, I'm not mad that they had a dirty car.

• 51:04Matt McCusker?

  I thought you made the face like, what?

• 51:05Speaker 00

  I'm more upset about the slur against your parents.

• 51:09Matt McCusker?

  Oh, no, I thought you would just be a fucking.

• 51:10Speaker 00

  No, I wasn't like, oh, you got a dirty car. Yeah, something's gonna happen.

• 51:13Matt McCusker?

  My bad, my bad.

• 51:14Speaker 00

  The fuck, dude?

• 51:15Matt McCusker?

  My bad.

• 51:16Speaker 00

  I like to joke around. You think I'm actually racist?

• 51:18Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 51:19Speaker 00

  Come on, man.

• 51:20Matt McCusker?

  It's kinda funny, well, dirty car.

• 51:21Speaker 00

  Well, man.

• 51:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, someone tagged you up? Yeah, man. Cause also that's like, you really gotta, you can't just wipe it with your hand. Your fucking hands get all dirty and shit. So then you gotta like, just drive with that on there.

• 51:38Speaker 00

  You gotta go get a paper towel or a towel.

• 51:41Matt McCusker?

  True, I guess, yeah, you're right. I'm thinking about a paper towel. I'd have, you'd have to drive, man. You have to drive, but you have to go to the gas station thing and dunk that thing. It'll be one second, you go.

• 51:49Speaker 00

  It's squeaky.

• 51:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I should just keep this on the back of my car. It's my car.

• 51:56Speaker 00

  It's a free country.

• 51:57Matt McCusker?

  It's a free country. I do whatever I want. But, yeah.

• 52:01Speaker 00

  I can do anything.

• 52:04Matt McCusker?

  No, he doesn't wipe that off, stat.

• 52:06Speaker 00

  I feel bad for the adulterous lady.

• 52:08Matt McCusker?

  Why?

• 52:09Speaker 00

  I just feel bad, the whole situation.

• 52:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I mean, dude, that's, look, dude, it gets, it does, that's what happens. That's the drama and the fucking burbs, dude. You get, the ladies, they do a lot of yoga, they get a little horny.

• 52:21Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 52:22Matt McCusker?

  You know? They're married to an engineer. What would it be like to have sex with an architect? Switch it up.

• 52:28Speaker 00

  Oh, same thing.

• 52:29Matt McCusker?

  Oops, now you're busted.

• 52:30Speaker 00

  Exact same thing.

• 52:31Matt McCusker?

  Oops, now you're busted. An architect's just kind of a gay engineer. Guy couldn't even get hard for me. Now I have slut on my fence.

• 52:39Speaker 00

  Slut on your fence is not great.

• 52:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I lady entrapped a soft noodle. Now I have slut on my fence.

• 52:46Speaker 00

  Slurped the nude. Slurped it.

• 52:49Matt McCusker?

  It is funny to be like a forty five year old lady and cheat on your forty five year old husband with a forty five year old man. It's like, bro, just use a vibrator. Like, what do you think? What do you think this other forty five year old man's about to do to you? Not a lot.

• 53:02Speaker 00

  He's probably so swabbed, though. At the bar, he was probably like, oh, man, you and me could do something special.

• 53:08Matt McCusker?

  Dude, the guy's phone I was peeping. He was a bit of an elder statesman. I said, man, I know you guys are getting all freaky like that. You know, freaky diggy. I'm over here getting G B Ps. I should have told on him to the lady next to me.

• 53:19Speaker 00

  She told the stewardess.

• 53:19Matt McCusker?

  Texting about fucking people. I think he was, might have been texting the stewardess. Not gonna say anything more, but, you know.

• 53:27Speaker 00

  Is it true that Nate was taking a nap and then the male stewardess came over and woke him up? And he tried to kiss him when he woke up? Straight out of his sleep?

• 53:36Matt McCusker?

  It's every time.

• 53:37Speaker 00

  Yeah. He tapped on his shoulder.

• 53:38Matt McCusker?

  I had to put my jacket over his head.

• 53:39Speaker 00

  Tapped on his shoulder and Nate went.

• 53:43Matt McCusker?

  Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry, daddy.

• 53:50Speaker 00

  That's all right. You don't have to. We don't have to keep the bit going.

• 53:54Matt McCusker?

  You can defend yourself if you want.

• 53:55Speaker 00

  You did try to kiss a guy on the plane, but that's it. Can't believe you bumped into the cowboy.

• 54:07Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it was. I mean, it was just so early in the morning. It was just, man, amazing.

• 54:12Speaker 00

  Oh, I had a good night last night.

• 54:14Matt McCusker?

  What'd you do?

• 54:14Speaker 00

  Me and the O'Con man got on Hell Let Loose for a while.

• 54:17Matt McCusker?

  Oh, it's awesome.

• 54:18Speaker 00

  Got a little tank crew. And O'Conner was the driver. I was the gunner. We had a good time. We were, we were, we were doing well. And then I realized his driving was a little erratic.

• 54:28Matt McCusker?

  I was just waiting. I'm like, there's no way this lasted for more than.

• 54:31Speaker 00

  I realized his driving was erratic. And then I was like, dude, are you fucking drunk? He was drunk, dude. He was hammered. I was like, you're getting us killed, dude. You were getting fucking destroyed.

• 54:46Matt McCusker?

  I didn't respond to that. I was like, no.

• 54:47Speaker 00

  No, he was like, yeah. No, I go, dude, are you fucking drunk? He goes, no. I go, did you drink today? He goes, yeah. I was on a flight. I had, I had a couple of drinks. I was like, you're fucking wasted, dude. We're getting killed out here.

• 55:01Matt McCusker?

  It's so funny to be on a tank. It's like, whoa, what the hell?

• 55:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, the driving was a little erratic. And then I'd be like, oh, stop, stop, because I'm trying to aim the fucking thing.

• 55:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 55:09Speaker 00

  There'd be another tank. I'd be like, dude, fucking stop the tank. I couldn't get a shot. I was like, I can't get a fucking shot, Chris. I had the headset on. I was sitting right here. It was fucking great.

• 55:20Matt McCusker?

  That's so funny.

• 55:21Speaker 00

  We probably played for like three or four hours. It was awesome.

• 55:24Matt McCusker?

  That is amazing.

• 55:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:25Matt McCusker?

  Tank Crew was nice, too.

• 55:27Speaker 00

  Tank Crew's very fun.

• 55:27Matt McCusker?

  How'd you guys do overall?

• 55:29Speaker 00

  We, we had some really good games and then some, towards the end, the last game was fucking terrible.

• 55:34Matt McCusker?

  Pizza probably came for O'Connor.

• 55:36Speaker 00

  I will say Chipotle came for me at one point. There was a couple of times I had the mic off. I was fucking grabbing it. Be like, fuck Tank. I'd be like, oh shit.

• 55:47Speaker 00

  It's a good time.

• 55:48Matt McCusker?

  True. That is, that sounds fucking really fun, though.

• 55:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was wholesome.

• 55:52Matt McCusker?

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 55:53Speaker 00

  Very nice.

• 55:53Matt McCusker?

  We also, we finally have to clear the record for Amy's ice cream.

• 55:57Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 55:58Matt McCusker?

  Amy's ice cream does roll. I'm sorry, made fun of the ice cream cake. It was just a simple mistake. They sent us a tiny ice cream cake.

• 56:03Speaker 00

  Told you, I took some bites of that. It was fucking delicious.

• 56:05Matt McCusker?

  Yep. Yeah, that was funny to get the report. I got the report a day later. He was like, yeah, Shane actually liked the cake.

• 56:10Speaker 00

  Cake was so good.

• 56:12Matt McCusker?

  So.

• 56:12Speaker 00

  I was, uh.

• 56:13Matt McCusker?

  Delicious cake.

• 56:14Speaker 00

  I was on the telephone and I was trying to throw it out and I was like, well, I'm not just gonna waste it. I'll take a bite. So while I'm talking to somebody, I was like,

• 56:22Speaker 00

  oh, yeah, man, for sure.

• 56:25Speaker 00

  I got another bite here. I just ate like a half that fucking thing in 20 seconds.

• 56:31Speaker 00

  Standing, eating ice cream cake on the phone with Tony Yayo. It was with G-Unit. I was on the phone with him.

• 56:40Matt McCusker?

  It was your birthday, too.

• 56:41Speaker 00

  And it was my B-day.

• 56:42Matt McCusker?

  It was your fucking B-day.

• 56:43Speaker 00

  Tony called me on my B-day. It was nice.

• 56:44Matt McCusker?

  That's so nice.

• 56:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:46Matt McCusker?

  Hello, Mr. Yayo. Yeah, that's, I didn't want to clear it here.

• 56:49Speaker 00

  It's pretty awesome.

• 56:50Matt McCusker?

  I felt bad. We just smacked an Amy's ice cream cake.

• 56:54Speaker 00

  That was all you. I can't believe I followed through with your nasty plan. I should have, I feel, I feel so guilty about slapping that.

• 56:58Matt McCusker?

  No, that was such a funny thing to just smack a birthday cake out of Sean's hand.

• 57:02Speaker 00

  It is funny, but you know.

• 57:04Matt McCusker?

  It was hilarious.

• 57:05Speaker 00

  That's what, that's what keeps me up at night. Fuck, man. You're just snappy an asshole for fucking 10 seconds. Your friends hate you.

• 57:15Speaker 00

  And then I get a text that says, it's Tony Yayo, G, G, G, G, G, G, Unit. I go, this is how he texts? Yes. This is fucking awesome. That's so tight.

• 57:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, I was pretty excited about that.

• 57:29Matt McCusker?

  I need to see G Unit come back. Fifty Star has re-risen.

• 57:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, another great black Republican.

• 57:35Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah, true. That's true.

• 57:38Speaker 00

  Nicki Minaj, Fifty, Lil Wayne.

• 57:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 57:43Speaker 00

  What the fuck?

• 57:43Matt McCusker?

  Think Kodak Black?

• 57:44Speaker 00

  Kodak Black for sure. He loves Toronto. That's his unk, dude. That's his Gemini twin.

• 57:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, exactly, exactly.

• 57:49Speaker 00

  He loves it. We got, there's a good group.

• 57:51Matt McCusker?

  Black Republicans might rule.

• 57:52Speaker 00

  Obviously. The only way we gotta get Jay-Z, he's the ultimate dem though.

• 57:56Matt McCusker?

  He is, bro.

• 57:57Speaker 00

  Jay-Z's such a dem.

• 57:59Matt McCusker?

  He morphed into a dem.

• 58:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's like an Anderson Cooper dem.

• 58:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. But he's like become a dem.

• 58:05Speaker 00

  He's, yeah.

• 58:07Matt McCusker?

  He's dem hair.

• 58:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, he got the Basquiat in that there, yeah.

• 58:12Matt McCusker?

  I'll be, I, yeah, oh, I don't wanna trash someone's art, but I just, I don't like that crap.

• 58:16Speaker 00

  Basquiat?

• 58:17Matt McCusker?

  Not a fan.

• 58:17Speaker 00

  I don't really know much about it.

• 58:20Matt McCusker?

  Just like cool, I don't, it's like pop art. I don't like pop art, I should say. I shouldn't fairly attack Basquiat. I don't like pop art or whatever, fuck, I don't even know what I'm talking about, but that like very modern looking art.

• 58:30Speaker 00

  Like Warhol?

• 58:31Matt McCusker?

  Hmm?

• 58:32Speaker 00

  Like Andy Warhol shit?

• 58:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm not a, it's, it's like.

• 58:34Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:36Matt McCusker?

  But I, dude, I like a beautiful, I have heard though that those guys that do that stuff can usually technically like are like

• 58:43Speaker 00

  Do the other stuff.

• 58:44Matt McCusker?

  Perfect technical painters, they just get bored and do that stuff.

• 58:46Speaker 00

  They're like alt comics.

• 58:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 58:48Speaker 00

  Like, we could do comics, but I'm just kinda, kinda trash the form, you know what I'm saying?

• 58:52Matt McCusker?

  I don't know.

• 58:53Speaker 00

  I'm just here to trash the whole thing.

• 58:54Matt McCusker?

  I don't know if those guys could technically.

• 58:56Speaker 00

  Of course they can.

• 58:57Matt McCusker?

  But I, I've heard, cause I was like talking to someone, I was talking to my friend Ray about that and I was like, dude, like, how do people not recognize, like, there's a beautiful landscape painting and you have this, and you're like, oh, they can do that, they just

• 59:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:09Matt McCusker?

  choose to do something else.

• 59:10Speaker 00

  I like that.

• 59:12Matt McCusker?

  But it's like, why don't you, that's what I'm saying, man.

• 59:13Speaker 00

  Give me some Goya, bro.

• 59:15Matt McCusker?

  Love that. But I don't know, I'm not gonna sit here and just be a fucking Debbie Downer about anything.

• 59:20Speaker 00

  Tried to watch a documentary on the Spanish Civil War. I still don't understand it.

• 59:25Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 59:25Speaker 00

  I've read so many books about it, I've done, I've done the research.

• 59:29Matt McCusker?

  Who was?

• 59:29Speaker 00

  I can't figure it out.

• 59:30Matt McCusker?

  Was it north and south still or east and west?

• 59:32Speaker 00

  A little north and south, it was kinda the whole country. Like, just random parts, but.

• 59:36Matt McCusker?

  Everyone just beefing?

• 59:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:38Matt McCusker?

  What year was this?

• 59:41Speaker 00

  Late twenties, early thirties.

• 59:43Matt McCusker?

  Oh shit, this is like nineteen hundreds.

• 59:44Speaker 00

  It was like, they were testing out World War Two in there. Like, the Germans were giving the fascists some weapons and shit.

• 59:51Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 59:52Speaker 00

  They were like, try, everybody was kinda trying to, Russia was helping the commies.

• 59:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, so it was fascist versus commies?

• 59:57Speaker 00

  A little bit, yeah, but then that's where it gets fucked up, cause then there's like a bunch of different factions. Like anarchists, communists were kinda on the same team.

• 1:00:07Matt McCusker?

  So all the political parties just attacked each other, basically? Fuck, that sucks, well, it was a pretty-

• 1:00:12Speaker 00

  Then occasionally they'd turn on each other.

• 1:00:14Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 1:00:14Speaker 00

  I don't know what the fuck happened.

• 1:00:15Matt McCusker?

  I think there was a spaz.

• 1:00:16Speaker 00

  I still don't know what hap- it was a Spanish spaz.

• 1:00:18Matt McCusker?

  It was a nationwide spaz.

• 1:00:20Speaker 00

  It was a full spaz for, I don't know, I still don't know what happened.

• 1:00:23Matt McCusker?

  That's crazy, I like, I'm vaguely familiar with it, I like, didn't even really know that in a big civil war.

• 1:00:28Speaker 00

  But they were just massacring each other, all the time, yeah.

• 1:00:31Matt McCusker?

  It was pretty vicious?

• 1:00:32Speaker 00

  In the village, you'd be like, yo, that guy's a fucking fascist. Let's go fucking rip his head off.

• 1:00:37Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 1:00:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:38Matt McCusker?

  What the hell you think that was about? When was TV invented?

• 1:00:43Speaker 00

  After.

• 1:00:45Matt McCusker?

  So after the twenties?

• 1:00:46Speaker 00

  Uh.

• 1:00:47Matt McCusker?

  I don't know, you think they saw a couple of John Wayne flicks and were like, fuck, dude?

• 1:00:50Speaker 00

  No, John Wayne, it was later, but it was close.

• 1:00:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, twenties is way early.

• 1:00:55Speaker 00

  Twenties is, TV, they might have had like, real early TVs, but not in Spain, bro.

• 1:01:02Matt McCusker?

  Nah, yeah, right, that was also like, they had radios, though. So that was, Big Band was the soundtrack, it was swing.

• 1:01:07Speaker 00

  Yeah. It was the roaring twenties, and then in Spain, they were going nuts.

• 1:01:12Matt McCusker?

  That stinks.

• 1:01:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's, I don't, it's weird to, this is a jump, but, did I talk about that Ukraine video, the doc I watched?

• 1:01:19Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 1:01:20Speaker 00

  Bro, it's fucking terrible.

• 1:01:22Matt McCusker?

  What, like, just what about-

• 1:01:24Speaker 00

  It's called Two Thousand Meters to, I forget the name of the town, it's a PBS, PBS doc, dude. They just follow these Ukrainian fighters, and it's all like, body camp shit, like, you see them all fighting.

• 1:01:40Speaker 00

  But then it was last year.

• 1:01:41Matt McCusker?

  Oh, really?

• 1:01:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, it was like-

• 1:01:43Matt McCusker?

  So it's just war footage?

• 1:01:44Speaker 00

  So you're watching it, and you're like, damn, I was at a Notre Dame game during this.

• 1:01:46Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 1:01:47Speaker 00

  What are these, what the fuck? Like, it's, I don't know-

• 1:01:49Matt McCusker?

  Is it pretty brutal?

• 1:01:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's really brutal.

• 1:01:52Matt McCusker?

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:01:52Speaker 00

  Early, very early on, in the documentary, a guy gets shot, you hear him screaming, his boys just drag him into a fucking trench.

• 1:01:59Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 1:02:00Speaker 00

  And they're like, we gotta get out of here, and he's like, dude, just leave me. And they're like, don't fucking blow yourself up, dude, you promise? He's like- Yeah. And they're like, we're coming back. He was like, don't come back. And then you see his body cam footage from the trench he's laying in.

• 1:02:13Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 1:02:13Speaker 00

  Just like looking up at the shitty sky.

• 1:02:15Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 1:02:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's really terrible.

• 1:02:17Matt McCusker?

  Just blows himself up?

• 1:02:18Speaker 00

  I don't know if he did.

• 1:02:19Matt McCusker?

  Oh, he just chills?

• 1:02:19Speaker 00

  He was kinda talking shit like he was about to. Which he did get shot through the arms and legs. So he was.

• 1:02:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:26Speaker 00

  It's either that or you wait for a fucking drone or they come over and stab you or some shit.

• 1:02:30Matt McCusker?

  Oh, God.

• 1:02:31Speaker 00

  It's a really terrible, uh, obviously.

• 1:02:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you don't, like, you kinda died down. The Israel Palestine stuff took over on that front. You don't hear it now. Like, you're still hearing about it. I guess they're, you know, gonna be talking about peace. Be nice little peace for Christmas.

• 1:02:44Speaker 00

  That'd be nice.

• 1:02:44Matt McCusker?

  That'd be a nice little piece for Christmas.

• 1:02:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, give it a watch. Two thou- what's it called?

• 1:02:50Speaker 00

  Andrievka. It's a tough one.

• 1:02:53Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I, yeah, I don't know.

• 1:02:56Speaker 00

  Two thousand meters, yeah.

• 1:02:58Matt McCusker?

  Rugged stuff.

• 1:02:59Speaker 00

  It's crazy, like, the battlefield's fucking crazy. It's like, two sides of it are fields that are covered in mines. So you can't go through it. And then there's this little stretch of forest that's just a straight line to the town. That's two thousand meters. So they're on one side, they're on the other side.

• 1:03:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:14Speaker 00

  You've just gotta keep sending guys through this forest.

• 1:03:17Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 1:03:17Speaker 00

  But they always do like five on five. It's very weird. You never see like a major battle there. It's always like ten guys and it looks like paintball.

• 1:03:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's crazy.

• 1:03:27Speaker 00

  It's weird, yeah.

• 1:03:28Matt McCusker?

  Cause I know that was a big worry from Russia. There's those like open plains that you can easily go from Ukraine, right? To like one of their capital cities. That's like their weak point as a country. So they got that just loaded with mines now. So it's like, kinda takes care of that problem.

• 1:03:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, and it's all cratered out. It looks like World War One. It's fucking, it's weird. It's weird that it's just going on right now.

• 1:03:47Matt McCusker?

  That's what I, I've said it before, it's like.

• 1:03:49Speaker 00

  I know, that's a fucking eighth grader's brain.

• 1:03:51Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 1:03:51Speaker 00

  Being like, it's crazy wars are happening.

• 1:03:53Matt McCusker?

  There is, as technology increases, it does become kind of embarrassing where it's like, well, you could just all blow ourselves up. Like, we could just, you know, it's like, this is kind of crazy. We're still murdering each other to be like, these five miles are ours. It's like, eh, split it or something. I don't know. Fucking split it in half. Don't fucking shoot each other, you psychos. It's just, just seems like an insane way. It's, it's the way we handle it. It literally is the highest court in the land.

• 1:04:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:18Matt McCusker?

  It's like, you know, you go through everything and nothing works. It's like, I'll fucking shoot this guy.

• 1:04:21Speaker 00

  They're talking about some shit with Venezuela right now, and I think they're supposed to make an announcement today.

• 1:04:27Matt McCusker?

  I don't know why they're beefing with Venezuela right now.

• 1:04:29Speaker 00

  Oil. Just talking about oil. You cooking, bitch?

• 1:04:33Matt McCusker?

  True. Going to Earl's.

• 1:04:37Speaker 00

  They better, they better not.

• 1:04:39Matt McCusker?

  Better not what?

• 1:04:40Speaker 00

  They better not fucking.

• 1:04:40Matt McCusker?

  Attack Venezuela?

• 1:04:41Speaker 00

  Fucking Venezuela.

• 1:04:43Matt McCusker?

  Is that even like a-

• 1:04:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, what's that called? Gunboat democracy? Or gunboat, uh, fuck. We just park a bunch of shit outside of a country's. We pull up on the coast.

• 1:04:53Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 1:04:53Speaker 00

  And go, let's, let's talk.

• 1:04:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:56Speaker 00

  Let's negotiate. Oh, those? Fuck it. Don't worry about those.

• 1:04:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, those are all, yeah.

• 1:05:00Speaker 00

  Hopefully this goes well.

• 1:05:01Matt McCusker?

  I mean, wa- is that even a, like, remotely fair fight, US versus Venezuela?

• 1:05:05Speaker 00

  Uh, it would be shitty for us.

• 1:05:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:08Speaker 00

  It'd be like Vietnam. It's in the jungle and there's all these fucking-

• 1:05:11Matt McCusker?

  I forgot, yeah, we, yeah, Vietnam was bad.

• 1:05:12Speaker 00

  You could get bogged down there very easily.

• 1:05:15Matt McCusker?

  That's also crazy, dude. Be like, let's, uh, let's repeat Vietnam. I'd like for somebody to give me like a case why we should start aggressing Venezuela.

• 1:05:24Matt McCusker?

  Is it, is it the fucking oil? Or are they saying they're like a communist country or something?

• 1:05:27Speaker 00

  They're saying they're communists and-

• 1:05:28Matt McCusker?

  Bro.

• 1:05:30Speaker 00

  They're, who gives a fuck about the drugs? They're, that's, that's kind of an excuse, I think.

• 1:05:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, bro, get out of here.

• 1:05:36Speaker 00

  I think they're, Maduro, that's his name, right? Maduro? I think he's starting to deal a little with Russia and China instead of us. We're trying to maintain our sphere of influence over here.

• 1:05:46Matt McCusker?

  He's on that BRICS, he's on that BRICS thing.

• 1:05:48Speaker 00

  Talking some shit, dude.

• 1:05:50Matt McCusker?

  I told you before, we should join BRICS as America. Like, we're in BRICS too. Now you guys are with us.

• 1:05:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, just collapse.

• 1:05:55Matt McCusker?

  Dumbass. Well, dumbass, now you're part of my coalition. Trick you.

• 1:06:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, we're, now we're BRICS.

• 1:06:02Matt McCusker?

  And then they leave BRICS.

• 1:06:02Speaker 00

  What do you think of that?

• 1:06:03Matt McCusker?

  They leave BRICS and you go-

• 1:06:04Speaker 00

  Go back to the dollar.

• 1:06:05Matt McCusker?

  I knew you'd get out of BRICS.

• 1:06:06Speaker 00

  I knew BRICS sucked. You guys knew BRICS sucked.

• 1:06:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's, uh, I mean, I don't know. I just wish, it's, it's just, it is, it does become embarrassing at a point to be like, you have a bunch of guys just shooting each other in the face. It's like, dude, you're just not allowed to do that. Like, don't, don't make an exception to be like, well, you can settle that. But then someone shoots you in the face, you go, fucking shoot him in the fucking face.

• 1:06:25Speaker 00

  Fucking shoot him, what the?

• 1:06:26Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 1:06:27Speaker 00

  Well, whatever, we're, we're-

• 1:06:30Speaker 00

  We are-

• 1:06:30Matt McCusker?

  Chasing him?

• 1:06:31Speaker 00

  We're like commandeering oil tankers.

• 1:06:33Matt McCusker?

  Why? Just pulling them over?

• 1:06:35Speaker 00

  We're going, these are ours. We're just stealing their fucking oil tankers, bro.

• 1:06:42Speaker 00

  We're going, no, you're not allowed to do that.

• 1:06:43Matt McCusker?

  Maybe they're like, yeah, I guess they're gonna say they're probably like, maybe using them to smuggle stuff.

• 1:06:47Speaker 00

  No, it's-

• 1:06:48Matt McCusker?

  It's funny to be like, no, they're just smuggling with oil tankers, nothing else.

• 1:06:51Speaker 00

  It's fully just us stealing their oil.

• 1:06:53Matt McCusker?

  What the hell?

• 1:06:59Speaker 00

  Is there like a Trump and the Secretary of War speech tonight? Oh, it's happening right now? Yeah.

• 1:07:08Matt McCusker?

  I guess oil too is like so.

• 1:07:10Speaker 00

  Hopefully that's nothing.

• 1:07:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that'd be, that'd be nice if it solved it, but it's because it's like if you can, because oil is like the one commodity you really can just start like blowing people up over. You don't really, usually don't fight people over like bananas and shit. So I think there is that one. I know there was.

• 1:07:24Speaker 00

  We used to.

• 1:07:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I knew there was that one. Fuck, what was that called? It was like a, it was a horrible thing the government did that had to just, it was like the Banana Company or whatever.

• 1:07:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, the Dulles's were helping the.

• 1:07:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:36Speaker 00

  Fuck, what is it called? The fruit, the fruit company? It was like, but there's Banana Republics. That's what that's about.

• 1:07:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:43Speaker 00

  Like, uh, they would try to like nationalize their own.

• 1:07:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's what United Fruit Co.

• 1:07:48Speaker 00

  They would try to nationalize their own shit and we'd be like, nah, that's ours.

• 1:07:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we.

• 1:07:51Speaker 00

  We need a regime change.

• 1:07:52Matt McCusker?

  Your bananas are our bananas.

• 1:07:54Speaker 00

  Put in this, uh, fucking insane guy.

• 1:07:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:56Speaker 00

  Who promised us to give us the bananas.

• 1:08:00Matt McCusker?

  That's so crazy, dude.

• 1:08:01Speaker 00

  It's crazy.

• 1:08:02Matt McCusker?

  Just be the bar, like the boss, big banana boss.

• 1:08:05Speaker 00

  There were some big banana bosses, dude. Donkey Kong, yeah, we installed Donkey Kong as their dictator. He went.

• 1:08:14Speaker 00

  Get him Donkey, get him DK.

• 1:08:18Matt McCusker?

  To be the president of a banana company and just be like, kill that guy.

• 1:08:22Speaker 00

  Think of the dumbest product you can think of. That's what was like, like sugar.

• 1:08:25Matt McCusker?

  That's crazy.

• 1:08:26Speaker 00

  Bro, we need to kill a million people for this fucking sugar.

• 1:08:29Matt McCusker?

  Bro, imagine though.

• 1:08:30Speaker 00

  Tea.

• 1:08:31Matt McCusker?

  Imagine getting a tanker of already freckled bananas and you're the banana boss. You go, someone's gotta pay for this. Someone's gotta pay.

• 1:08:39Speaker 00

  We need our bananas.

• 1:08:40Matt McCusker?

  Two days to sell these naners.

• 1:08:43Matt McCusker?

  Call the papers like, do some articles about banana bread. All right, we're gonna use ripe bananas for banana bread.

• 1:08:48Speaker 00

  The bread.

• 1:08:49Matt McCusker?

  Get that going. We're gonna kill this guy.

• 1:08:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, that was like the foundation of the CIA.

• 1:08:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I remember.

• 1:08:54Speaker 00

  Brothers, they were lawyers in New York. They were corporate lawyers who worked for the United Fruit Company. And then they were like, I guess still boys with them. So they're like, we're gonna found the CIA and then like, bro, you got problems?

• 1:09:07Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:09:07Speaker 00

  Now we can fucking do shit about it.

• 1:09:09Matt McCusker?

  Get some bananas flying.

• 1:09:10Speaker 00

  We'll get the bananas going.

• 1:09:13Matt McCusker?

  Well, heck, freaking yeah.

• 1:09:14Speaker 00

  Whatever, I could be wrong about all that.

• 1:09:16Matt McCusker?

  No, I think you're right. I remember as I said that, I was like, oh yeah, I remember hearing something like a United Frucow thing.

• 1:09:21Speaker 00

  Well, that's a good episode.

• 1:09:23Matt McCusker?

  Yes. One hour.

• 1:09:25Speaker 00

  Merry Christmas, everybody.

• 1:09:27Matt McCusker?

  Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify.

• 1:09:31Speaker 00

  Do it.

• 1:09:37Speaker 04

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• 1:10:08Speaker 05

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