Boston Gets Clocked, Round 1 Predictions, and a Mega-Mailbag With Chris Ryan and Joe House

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Chris Ryan and Joe House to react to the 76ers extending the series against the Celtics, the Knicks taking a 3-2 lead against the Hawks, and the Spurs eliminating the Trail Blazers to move on to the conference semifinals (3:13). Then, they predict the outcomes for the rest of Round 1 and take a look at the NBA's anti-tanking draft lottery proposal (31:36). Finally, Bill and House answer some mailbag questions (01:02:29). Host: Bill Simmons Guests: Chris Ryan and Joe House Producers: Chia Hao Tat and Eduardo Ocampo #ULTRACourtside could get you closer to the game! https://michelobultra.com/courtside MICHELOB ULTRA® COURTSIDE ’25 to ’26. No Purchase Necessary. Open to US residents 21 plus. Begins on October 1, 2025 and ends on June 30, 2026 Multiple entry periods. See Official Rules at https://michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes, and details. The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit https://fanduel.com/playwithaplan to learn more about the resources and helplines Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Sony Pictures Classics. A perfect crime film, says the Daily Beast. John Torturo gives a career best performance. Don't miss the acclaimed new thriller, The Only Living Pickpocket in New York. Torturo stars as an aging master pickpocket, whose latest score puts him in the crosshairs of a ruthless crime family. It's also starring Giancarlo Esposito, Tatiana Maslany, Will Price, and our guy, Steve Buscemi. See the film that the LA Times calls instantly classic, The Only Living Pickpocket in New York, now playing in theaters nationwide.

• 0:41Bill Simmons?

  The Bill Simmons Podcast, brought to you by FanDuel. We are also brought to you by The Ringer Podcast Network, where I put up new rewatchables. On Monday, we did Ghostbusters. First time ever, we did that one. It was me and Chris Ryan and Van Lathan. That one you can watch on Netflix. All the movies that we're doing for basically the next 10 weeks are all going to be available on Netflix, including in May, a bunch of comedies. And we actually got them to license some. And I'm not sure which ones we're doing out of these, but I know what we're doing next Monday because it's going to be There's Something About Mary. So that's available on Netflix in May. They're going to have Animal House, Borat, 48 Hours, Tropic Thunder, Splash, Tootsie, just a slew of them.

• 1:25Bill Simmons?

  So when May hits, go check it out. And we are going to do them all through May. And then June moves into From Hell Month, which is the month I am the most excited about in rewatchable history. I'll explain more when we get to June. But there's Something About Mary Monday. Yeah. Legata, which is our narrative series that we're doing. Episode five dropped today. It is, I think, a seven-episode series, but please catch up on that if you haven't been listening to that. Don't forget about Todd McShay did a bunch of great NFL draft stuff. He has his Too Early Mock Draft Newsletter that went out, I think, today. And then Sean Fantasy, who was on this podcast on Thursday,

• 2:06Bill Simmons?

  he's doing his Projections Newsletter as we try to ease into newsletters a little bit more. I like newsletters. I wish my fingers still worked. That would have a newsletter. Coming up on this podcast, me and Joe House and Chris Ryan. We recorded right after the three Tuesday night playoff games. And then we go in a time machine. House and I did a mailbag. I had so many mailbag questions, I had to rip through them. So House and I did that actually before the Tuesday game. So it's gonna be me, CR, House, basically live right after the games. And then we go backwards in time a few hours and we're doing a mailbag with Joe House. So that's the podcast. We're into break and then Pro Jip. The Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by FanDuel.

• 2:51Bill Simmons?

  The NBA postseason is here and FanDuel knows the only thing better than watching your favorite team win is winning along with them. FanDuel, the best place to bet the teams, players and plays during their playoff run. Build a same game parlay or try live betting and jump in after tip off. Don't forget with FanDuel, you get paid instantly when you win. Download the FanDuel Sportsbook app now and play your game. 21 plus select states or 18 plus DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. Game problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut.

• 3:49Bill Simmons?

  All right, little past 9:15 Pacific time. We're presented by New Air for this first segment. CR is here, Chris Ryan, fresh off a dramatic Sixers win. Joe House also here, fresh off a non-dramatic Spurs Blazers game. The Spurs wrapped it up. We made the fatal mistake of waiting for the entire game to end before we started this segment. I'm sorry, guys. You just never know with, with Denny and the frisky Blazers, what they're capable of. Let's talk Sixers Celtics first. CR, did you expect a win tonight? What were you expecting?

• 4:21Speaker 01

  No, I expected this to be my customary cuck position where, you know, Boston defeats Philadelphia in something and I have to come on and listen to you talk about Jordan Walsh. But you got a big heart. Don't let anybody ever tell you otherwise, Bill. Here we are, going back to Philly for game six. And what a Joel Embiid night. That was really great. That, that, that actually was like a really great sports moment for me.

• 4:42Bill Simmons?

  What was the story for you, House, as a non-biased, non-Sixers and non-Celtics fan? Another guaranteed loser. On an all chalk chalk parlay.

• 4:53Bill Simmons?

  Sit down. Oh, let's sit down and look at these favorites. Okay, Boston close out, Spurs close out, Knicks, Atlanta. I'm not sure. Let's see. Uh, let's just go ahead and parlay all the favorites and give some money away to the sports book. I mean, honestly, throwing the Celtics as a big favorite at home. I was texting you guys on the gambling thread. Um, just a mistake. The Celtics in the last five playoffs, including the 22 and they made the finals, 25 and 11 on the road and 24 and 17 at home. Just over and over again. I don't know how many times they've lost as big favorites, but it's already happened twice this series. This went beyond a, like regardless of if they finish Philly off, or if

• 5:38Bill Simmons?

  they just have an unbelievable dramatic 1982 reverse. Uh, I guess it would be 1981 reverse of going up 3-1 and then blowing the last three games, which Chris's Sixers did in 1981 against Celtics.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  This is ridiculous.

• 5:51Bill Simmons?

  If we flip that and you guys come back.

• 5:55Bill Simmons?

  No, big picture. I have some, I'm developing some real concerns with the Celtics team.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 6:00Bill Simmons?

  And I think you saw some of them tonight. Like this Derrick White thing is, is a real problem. He's averaging 8.2 points a game in the playoffs. He's shooting 29.8% and he's made five of 21 threes. And it felt like CR, the, the Sixers were just leaving him open tonight?

• 6:17Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, I think that this was a little bit more about what the Sixers did right than what the Celtics did wrong. But Derrick White has definitely not blown my mind in this series. He's obviously like accrued enough credit in the NBA that, that like, it doesn't really matter if he has like an off series or something like that. But it wasn't even like I was, when I was watching, I wasn't like, well, it's not like he's on VJ Island or something like that. Like I couldn't really figure out if he was being shut down with, by somebody in particular. He just seems like he's just, he's just missing something from his game right now. And, and the Sixers like, you know, the Sixers hit their threes tonight. That was the, the big story aside from Embiid. Yeah.

• 6:54Bill Simmons?

  This confidence swoon happened for White in 2022 house in the fi- in the, basically the whole playoffs.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  You remember that, Joe?

• 7:02Bill Simmons?

  Of course.

• 7:02Speaker 02

  2022, I was there.

• 7:04Bill Simmons?

  Well, this is a weird one because it was on the fringe of happening the whole year. It was probably the reason he didn't make the All-Star team because his shooting stuff wasn't good enough. And it felt like it was getting worse and now now it's a problem. I mean, my dad was at the game and he was saying that the fans were really mad. They didn't bring Pritchard in sooner. They brought him in four minutes left, really after the game ended. The Celtics missed 12 shots in a row down the stretch in the fourth quarter. And they put big minutes on Brown and Tatum, which I thought was also weird. 40, 40 plus minutes for each. And I guess the part I don't understand watching this, and we can talk about the Sixers in a second. They had this whole bench mob thing and all of these different lineups they could do. And they were going small and big and all these different looks.

• 7:47Bill Simmons?

  And, and it just feels like they're going chalk against the Sixers in a way that I don't understand. Whereas Nurse, I feel like has changed stuff as the series went along. And now he's like, Embiid's back, we're playing six guys today.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:59Bill Simmons?

  Drummond played seven minutes, Barlow played five. They really went six, they went big minutes for everybody and they felt like they had real advantages, right?

• 8:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, and this was one of those games where I, I think that if you're a Sixers fan, if you watch them, you can see sometimes when Embiid comes back into the mix, he seems to discombobulate the guards a little bit. Like they're not playing at the pace that they want to play at.

• 8:19Bill Simmons?

  That happened in game four.

• 8:21Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, so, but seeing him out there tonight, he was the best player on the floor the whole night. And when he went out with the knee scare, that was, I was like, oh, that's the end of the series. That if this is it for him and that's really tough, but like pretty, pretty amazing him coming back in. Now, like he's got, uh, Kada and, and Garza and, and you know, he's not like exactly facing Olajuwon, but like he's doing a really nice job against those guys. And I thought defensively, he was awesome tonight. The kind of turning point was that, that layup he swallowed on Tatum where he just kind of like,

• 8:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  changed his mind mid, mid air. Maxey stole it, PG gets it on the wing and pops it out to Edgecombe on for a three. And that kind of like, every time the Celtics threatened to leave their atmosphere, the Sixers pulled them back in.

• 9:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 9:06Speaker 01

  Mostly because of Embiid.

• 9:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, my dad was saying, he thought they were going to go up 15, 16, 17 in the first half. Never got there, Sixers hung around. Embiid stopped chucking threes house. That was the other thing.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  That was the only thing.

• 9:19Bill Simmons?

  Once he started playing around the basket, the whole offense changed, it felt like.

• 9:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, the only way for the Celtics to stop Embiid was. To encourage him to shoot more threes and at halftime he went in having missed six of them and said, you know what, maybe I should step inside the three point line, distribute some. The Sixers shot seven of 12 from the three point line in the third quarter and Embiid made seven of his first nine shots in the third quarter and that swung the entire game. They were down 13 in the third quarter, the Sixers were, and the Celtics were mainly scoring inside in the first half, all of their points. This was, this is a reminder of who this Celtics team is. It is a team very much in transition. This wasn't, this wasn't a team built for

• 10:02Speaker 02

  a championship run, a deep run. It is by happenstance, good fortune, good planning that this team was as competitive as they were this season. Tatum's return is, is really a goddamn miracle, but this is not a, a team, a Celtics team built for a championship run. They're going to live and die on three point variance and tonight they die. They had three guys on the entire roster with double digit shot attempts and they had three guys who scored in, in double digits. That's not a recipe for, for success and they don't have anybody to, to guard Embiid or, or to really take advantage of his immobility except for the three point shot. If it doesn't fall, they're, they're vulnerable.

• 10:46Bill Simmons?

  But that was weird about it. First of all, I'm fine with Embiid getting twos. When you start doubling him and giving up threes, that's when I think stuff can multiply and Sixers guys can get hot. So I, I just like let Embiid score. If he's going to have 40, he's going to have 40, but don't let the other guys get going. And then on offense, I just, like just go, either go at him, attack him or go smaller and pull him out, make him have to guard somebody. And they didn't really do either. He was kind of just floating around in the middle. It seemed like they were really afraid to challenge him. And then a couple of times when they did, it was like those half ass challenges that he swallowed up. Listen. There's a weird Jalen Brown thing happening in this series too, that the stats don't totally back up.

• 11:29Bill Simmons?

  I'm just going eye test from what I watched during the season. I thought the Sixers have done this whole series that they made it really hard for him to go buy people.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  It's also been a bit of a vintage Paul George defensive.

• 11:41Bill Simmons?

  He's been really good. He was really good again today. Played 43 minutes. This guy, we thought this guy, House and I talked about him later in the mailbag. We thought this was a guy on his way out of the league. And I think he's been a real asset in this series, but Jalen's had, Jalen was, I think he made the most two-point baskets of anyone in the league this season. Was really good in the, getting to the paint and getting these good shots and was doing it all year against Lou Dort, all these A-list defenders. And Philly has really, I think, throttled him a little bit. Even when he's scoring, they're really tough shots. You know, Tatum's been up and down, which you can expect, but I think he's probably been the most consistent player. And then the fact that they're getting no offense from White, if they get a game like Pritchard today where it's 12 points.

• 12:25Bill Simmons?

  All right, well now where am I getting the rest of my offense? Well, it's not coming from the bench with the defense going nuts back and forth. So I feel differently about this series than Hawks-Nicks.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  Where it's just like, there's just been a complete reverse and like the talent kind of showed out.

• 12:41Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, where I think the Knicks figured out the series and it's 3-2, but the Hawks won two one-point games. I don't, I don't necessarily think the Celtics are going to lose this series and they're minus 2,200 to win it. But I also think Philly has a lot of confidence against him. And I thought, I thought that game three, they had a lot of confidence.

• 12:58Speaker 01

  The only thing that makes me think it's not going seven is just that Philly tightens up playing in Philly. Like I don't, I don't know what the record is in the playoffs over the years, like you just said, but like they, they feel like they play a little more free on the road. And this was like a very.

• 13:12Bill Simmons?

  The Celtics certainly do.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  Yeah. And this was just a great anti-Cancun game. Like these were a bunch of guys who were just like, we don't want our series, our season to end tonight. I think you could see also for as much backroom stuff as Sixers fans engage with of like, oh, should we, you know, is this, is this it for him? B, should we trade him? Should he ask out? Whatever. Like that team was really playing for him as much as with him. And I think that, I think that was like a really nice, meaningful capstone on what's been like a very troubled season for him.

• 13:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I think that's fair. He, he looked really good today.

• 13:47Bill Simmons?

  The Celts have some moves. I think a little more.

• 13:51Speaker 01

  Tactically, you mean?

• 13:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Yeah, I think, I think they really have to figure out the bench. Like, Shireman, once again, didn't play a lot. And, and I, I think he's important, but it just feels like they need more energy and some more fight. The problem tonight, the Sixers had the two best guys in the game. So, and I think like you're up 3-2 in a series, but you just played a game five that you didn't just lose, but the, there were two guys in the game who stood out and you had neither of them. That's a problem. And then the three-point variance with the Sixers. You know, if they're missing threes, it's gonna come down to whether, uh, you know, Embiid just can put the whole team on his back, which I'm dubious of, because I thought he looked exhausted.

• 14:30Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I mean, that's the. It's been a little bit of the thing with Nurse is that he ground Maxey down a lot during the season. Nurse plays his guys a lot. He played them a lot in Toronto. And then tonight, I just felt like the team was gassed. I mean, we were, I, luckily, Boston didn't have that much in the tank either, but turning around and playing on Thursday does not inspire me with like much Cinderella confidence. You know, like, I, I'm not excited about seeing Joel on, on what, 48 hours rest.

• 14:57Bill Simmons?

  Right, after big minutes. House, I thought the move tonight, I thought for sure Missoula was gonna do this, was go back to kind of the regular season, kind of lineup rotation that the Celts had, go big on the bench, try to get some confidence for Shireman, for Walsh, maybe even Hugo, um, a little Garza, and try to do, this was a team that in game 82, they benched everybody and beat Orlando with their G League team, because they had these guys that actually played really well together. I thought they would do that. Instead, they put big minutes on Brown and Tatum. And I almost wonder if, if Missoula's like, we're gonna close them out, we'll get rest, we'll put big minutes. And now they're playing 48 minutes later, and Tatum's played big minutes in this series. So.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:39Bill Simmons?

  I think this series has already been like, turned out not awesome for the Celtics. Like, this should be over already, and it's not.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  I agree, uh, with all of that, except the thing is, you know, again, that, that's who this Celtics team is, like. Tonight should have been the night that they did the kind of hockey lineup, um, kind of rotation, right? All those guys play good at home. They all feed off of that home crowd. That, that, that bench mob and that might have, um, changed the energy, but Missoula's playing, you know, kind of a long hand here, right? But the, the, the long hand is to get, well, but you want Tatum and, and Brown on the same page if you're going to make a deep playoff run.

• 16:19Speaker 01

  You feel like he's like almost, he's almost like pressure testing the, the partnership in a game where he's like, I bet we're going to win this series if we just win one more out of the next three.

• 16:29Speaker 02

  Yes, that is exactly what I think. That, that's the truth, the strategic call that I think he made instead of doing the thing that would have changed the energy, um, in the first half, which was going in that bench mob direction that's been successful for the Celtics all season long. I think they, they need, um, JT and JB to play together. I mean, uh, JB was shot 39% from the field today and, and could not get anything in terms of that, that penetration. It's the point that, that Bill made where he was getting those twos all season long. It's playoff time and the one thing the Sixers have is good perimeter defense if Paul George is healthy.

• 17:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  And he is, and so there you go.

• 17:08Speaker 01

  Edgecombe hits his threes then like, I mean, Zach, I don't, whatever the reverse of Zach Lowe's stat from the other night where it was like, VJ Edgecombe is 0 for 16 in Sixers playoff losses this year. So it's like, if he's hitting three out of six, like we're, we're looking pretty good. I, I gotta say, I mean, for as much as Bill, like I, you know, admire what the Celtics have accomplished without Tatum and then bringing him back into the fold. Like if you have Embiid, Maxey, Paul George playing well and Edgecombe rising and Grimes having a hot night, I'll put them up against the Celtics.

• 17:38Bill Simmons?

  It's like you can hang with them.

• 17:39Speaker 01

  Four or five, sure. We can hang, you know?

• 17:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Grimes was really good today. I, I really liked, I thought he should have been playing more in this series. Played 24 minutes tonight. He was plus 18.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  Nick Nurse is addicted to Kelly Oubre.

• 17:51Bill Simmons?

  I know.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  He had two four point plays.

• 17:54Bill Simmons?

  Grimes is one of those, when he's open, I feel like it's going in. It's like, fuck. This is happening. So yeah, they had, they have some momentum. You, we haven't, have we had like an incredible maxi game yet?

• 18:07Speaker 01

  I guess.

• 18:07Bill Simmons?

  No, I mean, he. Game two, sort of.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  I think his finger hurts. I think he's, he still has like a kind of busted hand and I think he's tired. But I think there was more zip in his game tonight and I felt like the, even if it wasn't exactly like Denver level, it was the dribble handoff stuff that him and Embiid were doing at the top of the key and whipping the ball around. Like, it just felt like they were like, we're, we're not going home tonight. Like, this is not the end of the season and, and if they can bring that Thursday,

• 18:34Speaker 01

  you never know.

• 18:35Bill Simmons?

  My dad was.

• 18:36Speaker 01

  I'm excited. This, this has rekindled my excitement, you know?

• 18:39Bill Simmons?

  My dad was pretty disgusted afterwards, although the Bruins, I don't know if he's a pass to neck big overtime goal. So that kind of lifted his.

• 18:45Speaker 01

  That was on my smaller TV. Yeah.

• 18:47Bill Simmons?

  But he, uh, he was pretty, he was just like, you could feel it. That the game never had the right flow, even when we had the lead and it just, something felt off about it. How's, I'm gonna go glass half full on it though. I do think this Celtics team, I'm, I'm okay with them having some adversity and seeing if they can ride through it or not. With, with the Tatum just being thrown back into this like this, Tatum and Brown together, them trying to like, let's see it now. Let's go to Philly for a game six. Philly's got confidence and bead is probably the best center they're gonna play in a playoff round until the, unless they can somehow get to the finals and play whoever comes out of the West. And, and let's, like, they found out tonight, Vucevic

• 19:33Bill Simmons?

  against some of these big scoring centers, he's just not, it's not happening. He's not stopping anybody and he's a real liability. So what does that mean? Are they gonna go smaller, et cetera, et cetera? Who knows? Uh, the Hawks Knicks, so

• 19:47Bill Simmons?

  I gotta say, like, who would you, let's say the Celtics get through the Sixers series and the Knicks finish off Atlanta.

• 19:55Bill Simmons?

  Who do you think would win a Knicks Celtics series? Because I almost, even though game sevens in Boston, I almost feel like the Knicks would have to be a slight favorite in that series, House. How would you have the odds?

• 20:08Speaker 02

  They won't be favored because the Celtics have home court advantage.

• 20:14Bill Simmons?

  Well, home court advantage, that has not mattered to them as much as it should have for five years. Like, I don't know.

• 20:19Speaker 01

  What's the first reason why you say that, Bill?

• 20:23Bill Simmons?

  The Knicks were built to beat the Celtics. I think they have a lot of confidence playing the Celtics. And I think they have a little more cohesion. Like you saw tonight, when they can turn on their defense and Brunson, you know, can have a game like he had tonight, they're really good. Like they have, the Celtics are a little live by the three, die by the three, or some of their bench stuff. The Knicks feel like a little more consistent to me for a series. But the Celtics, I think, I really want to see them battle through the adversity here. What do you think, House?

• 20:53Speaker 02

  I have the Knicks in the finals. So, I mean, you know, my, my prediction for this NBA finals was the Knicks and the Nuggets. Good luck. That, that's not happening.

• 21:03Bill Simmons?

  Well.

• 21:03Speaker 02

  But

• 21:05Speaker 02

  the, um, the Knicks part of it, you know, this, this, this little odyssey, this mini experiment with Atlanta, when we were sitting back looking at the playoff matchups before the, the games got started, we, we, we kind of circled this Knicks Hawks as like, hmm, if you're, if you're looking for one where it might be surprisingly competitive.

• 21:24Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  That this might fit the bill because this, this Atlanta team is like kind of multifaceted. They can definitely defend.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  The one thing they can't defend is Karl-Anthony Towns. And Karl-Anthony Towns, the most important thing the Knicks did was make sure that he got touches in the first quarter.

• 21:40Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 21:41Speaker 02

  I mean, he, he ended up, uh, with, he didn't score 20 points, but he was a very, very important part of the offense in the, in the first quarter. He got off.

• 21:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 21:50Speaker 02

  Yep. And, and that really set them up. They, they, they basically got out to the lead that they never really relinquished over the balance of the game from the first quarter on.

• 22:00Bill Simmons?

  Even bringing in Alvarado for these little cameos, it feels like it's supercharges them, which is what I was saying about the Celts before, like the Celts used to get that from the bench, even like the little Alvarado run. Uh, Brunson was masterful tonight. The CJ piece was really interesting, CR.

• 22:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I was mostly watching Sixers Celtics and by the time I flipped over, this was pretty much over. So he only had six points. What happened here?

• 22:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he just was a non-factor. I think what happened is he's 34 years old and old guys in the playoffs, just, you know, you're gonna have nights where they just don't have it. Like you said, Drew Holiday tonight in the San Antonio game was another one. It can look great in a game two. All of a sudden in game five, it's a two for 15, but they, I guess the benefit house was that with CJ, now they're not gonna have to pay him $35 million a year in the free agency if they lose in six. And he kind of peters out near the end. Maybe they get him on a better deal.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  Somebody should.

• 22:56Bill Simmons?

  Atlanta made some interesting additions. They put Daniels on Cat. They put a Kongu on OG and they put Alexander Walker on Brunson. And watching in the beginning, I was like, oh, I like this. I like Daniels on Towns. This is good. And then the Knicks figured it out in about 10 minutes. And that was that. But I think, CR, I think we can retire the CJ McCollum on the Reggie Miller villain MSG storyline.

• 23:19Speaker 01

  To be fair to him, I think he was like,

• 23:20Bill Simmons?

  I think he didn't even want to start it.

• 23:22Speaker 01

  Have some settle down juice. Like, I'm 34. I do wonder whether or not the front row of Stiller, Tina Fey, Tracy Morgan and Shalhoub was.

• 23:33Bill Simmons?

  Don't forget Jenner.

• 23:34Speaker 01

  And Jenner. And whether that was like, kind of like a hat tip to Adam Silver. Like, this is, we can't lose in front of these guys, like, kind of situation.

• 23:45Bill Simmons?

  First, great to see Shalhoub back out there, having fun again. It feels like the Oscars were a million years ago.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  When was he not having fun?

• 23:52Bill Simmons?

  I'm glad he's living his life. And I'm glad, I'm glad he's not wearing his Knicks concerns on his face. But I, this playoffs really feels like the Knicks fans have passed the Laker fans from a star power standpoint. That was a pretty impressive fivesome that they had trotted out. I was like, wow, this is, this is good. I don't know what the Lakers equivalent. The Lakers are really struggling as Jack is getting older. I think they've really struggled to pack.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  That's true. Who's the mayor of the Lakers right now?

• 24:21Bill Simmons?

  It's really tough. Like, you hope Denzel, but Denzel is like also a Knicks fan. He's like a sports bigamist.

• 24:27Speaker 02

  Does Flea still make it on the screen?

• 24:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you have Flea, you have Diane Cannon. Like, they can't,

• 24:31Speaker 02

  Oh, gosh.

• 24:32Bill Simmons?

  They're in a knife fight with like,

• 24:34Speaker 02

  AARP.

• 24:35Bill Simmons?

  Butter knives. Yeah. They really need to double down on a, on their fan base.

• 24:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, so I guess going forward with the Knicks, the only thing is Bridges just seems like he's in section eight at this point offensively, and that's just how it's gonna go. But they, what the Knicks had in game four with the being down 2-1, this is a real, people staring at each other, the fans freaking out, all right, what do we got in us? Are we gonna come together? And they did. It's not far away from where the Celtics are these next couple of days now, where they really looked, they legitimately lost tonight. That was not a, oh, we didn't hit our threes, that's why we're doing it. It was like, they got their butts beat tonight in the second half. So what is that gonna mean? And what adjustments are they? Spurs Blazers. Thanks anyway, Portland. Thanks for, uh, thanks for all your efforts and your concerns.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  Thanks, Denny.

• 25:28Bill Simmons?

  Thanks, Denny. You tried, you got mad at people a couple of times, you lost half of a tooth.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:33Bill Simmons?

  Thanks, Drew Holiday. Enjoyed your performance. Uh, thanks, Scoot Henderson for that quick little cameo that boosted my stock before Dylan Harper took it to him.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  Donovan Kling, can he make a three-point shot? Or have I just not seen it?

• 25:47Bill Simmons?

  He'll take them.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. He'll make, he'll make you think about him.

• 25:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 25:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:52Bill Simmons?

  He'll shoot it. Yeah, he'll take it. He's no Drummond. Drummond's just automatic from the corner now. I mean, Jesus. Um, yeah, so how, is this a sweep without the Wemby concussion?

• 26:04Speaker 02

  Yes. Yes, it is. But, you know, I'm, I want to give some flowers to this Portland team. They were in it. Like, you know, they fought. That was, uh, they showed the value of, you know, pushing all the way to the end, because there was kind of an inflection point moment for their season where they could have found themselves in the lottery again without too much effort. Um, but I, I mean, I love this revelation of Denny, and I'm interested in their offseason. They have cap space.

• 26:35Bill Simmons?

  They kind of need a point guard, because I don't know if Scoot's gonna be the point guard.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  Well, isn't Damian Lillard supposed to be the point guard?

• 26:42Speaker 02

  Well, that, well, Denny, what's he gonna do, right? Um, he will be something to them. He will be a very important, meaningful piece to them. But they have some money. They have some interesting pieces. They have 15 million bucks. You have to ask, maybe Tom Dundon thinks he gets to keep that.

• 26:58Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, you're like, I'm gonna give them their flowers. I think Dundon might be like, I'm not paying for those flowers. These guys don't need flowers. They're basketball players.

• 27:07Bill Simmons?

  I got this email from a guy named Parker who had more ideas for Tom Dundon to save money. And one of them, he had stuff like, on the bench, only have seats for the coaches, for like the two best coaches. And everybody else give to paying customers because you can make more courtside stuff. Use unpaid people to clean up the court. Halftime shows, just don't have a halftime show at all.

• 27:33Speaker 01

  Honestly, there's a couple of these things that I'd be pretty into.

• 27:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he can really zag the other way.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  I just think that like, like Dundon is obviously gonna drive, like if this keeps going, like it'll be an embarrassment for the league. But like, if he was like, you know what, you guys, we don't, we don't need somebody unicycling around during halftime. Like, just go to the bathroom, get a beer, come back.

• 27:54Bill Simmons?

  We're just gonna play some music. He could have the scorer's table, could just have two people on it, try to sneak some courtsides in there. What else could he do, House?

• 28:02Speaker 02

  I mean, the halftime is easy. That's kids playing basketball.

• 28:06Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 28:06Speaker 02

  And, you know, you can, depending on how cynical you want to be about it, you can set odds, like, you know, you can, you can bet on kids.

• 28:14Speaker 02

  That's a thing.

• 28:15Speaker 01

  Same game parlay within the game.

• 28:17Speaker 02

  Yes, that's right.

• 28:18Bill Simmons?

  He thinks, he thinks he can save, Parker thinks he can save money on the exercise warmup bike and maybe just use real bikes because they're cheaper. So the guys would have to actually pedal around.

• 28:28Speaker 01

  Well, you could do that. You could just basically say to a guy, you'd be like, you're either in the game or you're out. Riding a bike is not gonna change it.

• 28:34Bill Simmons?

  We've gotten rid of the bikes. We save $590. So yeah, this will be some Blazers summer. They're gonna be cheaping out on a coach. They do have some cat, some, some maneuverability with some trade stuff. They didn't have Shaden Sharp really for this series because he had a stress fracture thing and he barely played. He wasn't the same. And I do wonder like with his scoring, could they have made this a six game series?

• 28:59Speaker 01

  Fun team though. I'm excited. I do hope he doesn't destroy them. Like, I'm, I'm excited.

• 29:03Bill Simmons?

  Interesting team. The Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by FanDuel. We are right in the middle of the NBA playoffs. I'm making picks left and right. Did a, did an unexpected one on Monday night because I really liked the slate. So we did, um, OKC money line, SGA 25 plus points, K 25 plus points, Tobias Harris 15 plus, and it hit. It was two to one. Um, gonna try to, every time I like any sort of parlay or any situation, probably just gonna tweet it out. And if there's additional FanDuel value like there is tonight, where all customers get a profit boost. Oh yeah, you love those profit boosts. Um, and if you can match that with the parlay or the bet that you like, your win hits bigger. FanDuel giving you better payouts

• 29:47Bill Simmons?

  on same game parlays on NBA playoffs, all playoffs long. Lock in your bets, boost your odds, make the playoffs pay off with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA. Head to FanDuel.com/BS to get started. FanDuel, play your game. 21 plus select states or 18 plus DC, Kentucky, Wyoming. Restrictions apply. See terms at sportsbook.fanduel.com. Game problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat. Connecticut. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. You know what my favorite thing about the playoffs is? I like during, and it's usually maybe a game four, might even be a game five, game seven, everyone's nervous, there's a different level of energy. But game

• 30:31Bill Simmons?

  four, game five, for one of the two teams, there's this realization with like five minutes left in the fourth quarter. What's like, uh oh. Our fate is, is suddenly in real flux right now. Who's stepping up? What are we gonna do? Let's calm down. Can we rise to the moment or are we gonna shrink from it? And you can kind of see it with different teams. It's definitely like, for instance, gonna happen in this Denver Minnesota series. It's gonna be a moment in one of the later games when all of a sudden either Minnesota's taking it from Denver and at some point somebody in Denver's gonna have to hit a shot and you're gonna look around and go, who's gonna do it? Or in Minnesota's case, maybe Denver,

• 31:12Bill Simmons?

  um, is, is punching them back and now Edwards has to step up or DiFenzenzo and you just never know. And you never know how somebody's gonna respond to pressure. But that's why we love the playoffs every spring. Uh, it's as great as opening up. Michelob Ultra, a nice cold one, crisp, refreshing, the ultimate prize. Plus, as the official beer partner of the NBA, they're giving fans a chance to win courtside tickets, custom merch, and more. You could be at one of those games when the pressure rises. Michelob Ultra, superior is worth playing for. Enter now at michelobultra.com/courtside.

• 31:54Bill Simmons?

  Michelob Ultra Courtside 25-26, no purchase necessary, open to U.S. residents 21+. Begins on October 1st, 2025, ends on June 30th, 2026. Multiple entry periods, see official rules at michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, and prizes and details. We're gonna play a game of which underdog would you rather be? Lakers Rockets, the Rockets are plus 750 for the series. Celtics Sixers, Sixers are plus 1100 for the series, which seems way too high. And then Knicks Hawks, plus 560 for the Hawks.

• 32:32Speaker 01

  This Rockets idea is Durant, there's no Durant, right?

• 32:36Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. Is there Durant?

• 32:40Speaker 01

  Well, even if there isn't, is it better without him, right? In some crazy way.

• 32:44Bill Simmons?

  Better without him? Like, do you want him on the bench?

• 32:48Speaker 01

  Well, he was laughing it up with Reece Shepard and Jabari last night. So, I mean, it seemed like, or the other night, so it seemed like everything was cool. Joe, you go first.

• 32:57Speaker 02

  So, are you reading the prices as they exist right now in the FanDuel Sportsbook, Bill Simmons?

• 33:03Bill Simmons?

  They are where I saw them a half an hour ago. Maybe they changed a little bit.

• 33:06Speaker 02

  And what is the Rockets' price?

• 33:08Bill Simmons?

  The Rockets' price, I'm gonna give it to you right now. The Rockets' price is plus 730.

• 33:16Speaker 02

  Okay. So that's because no team in the history of the NBA has come back from a 3-0 deficit.

• 33:23Bill Simmons?

  Philly is still 11-1, and Atlanta is plus 570. And weirdly, I probably feel the worst about Atlanta. I feel like they had their, they're like the Turk in The Godfather. I missed my chance. I am the hunted one now. They had the Knicks. It's like Solotso, yeah. I missed my chance. Who would you have, House? I think probably the Sixers, just because...

• 33:54Bill Simmons?

  There's a world where Maxey has one awesome game and Embiid has another awesome game and then all of a sudden the Celtics are going home and it's like, what just happened?

• 34:01Speaker 02

  We got Edgecombe. I mean, at the price, that's right. Uh, we got one great Edgecombe game. He's capable of two. So if Edgecombe and Maxey together go off, and they did do this a couple of times in the season. I mean, we even have, have we, there's, there still could be like a vintage Paul George game in there. I guess that's the one because of the price.

• 34:22Bill Simmons?

  What does a vintage Paul George game look like?

• 34:24Speaker 01

  Honestly, though, he's right.

• 34:26Bill Simmons?

  It's like saying like a vintage Nell Carter performance.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  It's scoring in the high twenties, early thirties and locking down one of Boston's wings.

• 34:35Speaker 02

  That's

• 34:36Speaker 01

  I'm going to regret saying this. I agree. It's, it's the Sixers. It is, it is like, let's win game six and then game sevens are weird.

• 34:45Bill Simmons?

  Great theory about how the Rockets, I mean, the Lakers didn't want to win game four because they wanted to extend the series so that the next series would start later to buy Luca more time. I don't believe this. I just said caught Conspiracy Bill's attention that the Lakers would lose game four and game five to push the next series to like Tuesday.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  Oh, they would lose both?

• 35:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they, they, they basically throw multiple games. I don't believe this, but Conspiracy Bill, it did come across his desk. I did hold it up to the light, didn't pass the

• 35:15Speaker 01

  Do you think every time Luca watches Lou Dort trip a guy, he's like, ah, you know what? This is getting a little tight though.

• 35:23Bill Simmons?

  One more second here. It's going to be fun watching SGA against, I don't even know who, and the Lakers, if that ends up being the series. Who, who's? Yeah, that, that's not going to last too long. Okay. Next question. Which team would you rather be?

• 35:39Bill Simmons?

  Denver minus 142 or Minnesota plus 120 right now heading into game six. If your life depended on it, which team would you rather be? Which team would you rather back?

• 35:50Speaker 01

  So I missed it. What's the state of Nas Reed?

• 35:54Bill Simmons?

  He came back in the game. I think he's okay.

• 35:57Speaker 01

  Okay. Um, man, that's really rolling downhill against Minnesota. Uh,

• 36:06Speaker 01

  Would I rather be Denver or would I rather be who?

• 36:10Bill Simmons?

  Minnesota. Denver's minus 138, Minnesota's plus 138.

• 36:13Speaker 01

  Oh, I thought it was a different series. Yeah, I would rather be Denver.

• 36:18Bill Simmons?

  House?

• 36:18Speaker 02

  Why is that a question? I don't understand.

• 36:24Bill Simmons?

  It's a question.

• 36:25Speaker 01

  Which team would I rather be? Minnesota just has to win one game.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, but they don't have Anthony Edwards. They don't have their best player. They're not gonna be, I mean.

• 36:34Bill Simmons?

  Well, can I give you the?

• 36:36Speaker 02

  What you're doing is you're saying that the version of the Joker that we've seen thus far, even with, you know, an empty calorie triple double to stave off elimination.

• 36:46Bill Simmons?

  That was not an empty calorie triple double. Why do you say that? He was great in that game.

• 36:51Speaker 02

  He was fine.

• 36:52Bill Simmons?

  Here's my fear. The game five, Spencer Jones, Cam Johnson were really good at home in a game five. What is that gonna look like in a game six in Minnesota? When you're on the road and, and your team actually needs you. I just think it's easier for guys like that to play at home. That's one of the things that frustrated me with the Celtics tonight. Like, home games are the time to bring out your bench guys and hope you strike oil with one of them. I don't really trust that many of these Denver guys. Of course, it's not gonna play. You know, and that, and I don't think Minnesota needed that game. I just think that's the way the league works. It's like, we're up 3-1. It would be nice if we could steal this.

• 37:36Speaker 02

  They don't have Anthony Edwards. They need every game. There are no giveaway games for them.

• 37:40Bill Simmons?

  I'm not saying it was a giveaway game. I just think there's a level of desperation that one team has versus the other. You could feel it a little in Philly-Boston, but especially in Denver-Minnesota, where Minnesota's like, all right, we don't really need this game. But game six is the one they need.

• 37:55Speaker 01

  But they, that's, wouldn't you call that a must-win basically, though? That game six for them?

• 38:00Bill Simmons?

  I mean. I wouldn't because I don't, I, I, I don't, I think it's conceivable to go in somebody's building and win game sevens. We just see it over and over again now. I like how it's not like what we grew up in the eighties where it was like game seven at home, you won. And if, and if you could win a game seven in somebody's building, it was like a fucking miracle. I feel like anybody can win anywhere now.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  If Anthony Edwards was playing for Minnesota, they'd win this series. This is a Minnesota team that went to the goddamn Western Conference Finals two consecutive years. They have no problem beating Denver and they, they demonstrated, you know, the, the idea for this series was that this is a new Denver. Denver reeled off 13 straight wins coming into the playoffs. I don't know the last time they lost three consecutive games. They just lost three consecutive games to this Minnesota team. Um, because this Minnesota team has, they, they know how to beat Denver. They are built to beat Denver. They know how to beat Denver. They have no issue beating Denver, but they don't have Anthony Edwards. So I think that Denver's going to win three straight games and they're going to beat Minnesota in the series.

• 39:02Bill Simmons?

  Well, it sounds like you should bet the Denver money line for this series then.

• 39:06Speaker 02

  Done.

• 39:06Bill Simmons?

  I'll tell you this.

• 39:07Speaker 02

  Say less.

• 39:08Bill Simmons?

  I think the line for game five is out of whack. Minnesota is plus five and a half at home in game six. I think it's a 50 50 game and I don't really trust Denver without Gordon with him either playing hurt or not playing at all. They don't have five guys that I trust in a game like this. And I think that's what worries me with them. So if you have with Minnesota, even if it's just Io, McDaniels, Reed, Randall and Gobert, and you get lucky with one of the bench guys, I think you could beat Denver in a game like that. So I'm, I'm leaning Minnesota. I mean, I would take the points, but I also, I, something is a little off with Denver. I don't, I don't like it. I think Gordon's too important to them. So you would really have to see Joker just go bonkers.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, but don't you think he has that game in him? Like, don't you, I mean, unless he's got some secret injury or, or a horse he loves dies, like he's got that game in.

• 40:02Bill Simmons?

  Of course. I don't know. He's, the fact that he's just not hitting threes anymore worries me. That, the NBA did the little bit of the playbook in game four. McDaniels had two fouls in the first three minutes of the game, which was just a classic. And I don't, you're not getting that in this game. And I bet McDaniels is all over the place. All right. So we disagree on that one.

• 40:24Bill Simmons?

  This one's probably a little easier. Which team would you rather be Cleveland or Toronto? Cleveland's minus 460. Toronto's plus 380. I would be very worried if I was Cleveland though, because I think Toronto's found something with the muck it up, small ball thing. And Cleveland has James Harden.

• 40:44Bill Simmons?

  Those would be my two concerns.

• 40:46Speaker 02

  Zach Lowe called this one correctly. This is gonna go seven and the home team is gonna win this series. And it's kind of unnecessary that it's gonna go seven.

• 40:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it really does not need to go seven.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  Because Cleveland shouldn't have, it doesn't need to go seven. Cleveland has advantages in a lot of different ways. Except, is Evan Mobley a bitch? I mean, I think it's time to go ahead and put it on the table.

• 41:08Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if I would use that word.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  Well, what word would you like to use? Because it's step up time. It's step the fuck up time. This team was built to be a 55-win team this series, this season coming in. They were supposed to be comparable to the team from last year. They hit the reset button and brought in some really important valuable assets at the trade deadline because it wasn't working. The formula didn't work. And I just would like to see the guys that were adorning with the, they're here, the leap is coming, here it comes, this is what this team's supposed to be on paper. And I'm still waiting. We're playing playoff basketball games now.

• 41:52Speaker 02

  That's where their advantage is supposed to reside, is that dude with his inside-outside, you know, capacity. I don't know. I'll just sit tight and wait for it to happen, I guess.

• 42:05Bill Simmons?

  I said this to Zach on Sunday. He doesn't seem to have these games where it's like, wow, Evan Mobley is running amok. He's just destroying Toronto tonight. Like, he's kind of there. He does some nice things, but I don't know if there's that last level for him. This might just be who he is here.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I I I've not spent a ton of time with this series. This is always the one that seems to be on.

• 42:28Bill Simmons?

  You're not locked into Raptors Cavs?

• 42:29Speaker 01

  On Tubi at like 1:30 PM, you know, like I'm never sure. Uh, the Mobley thing though is strange because you would hope that something like the Harden trade is the exact thing that would be like, look like, I mean, Harden was very, very, very good for Embiid. Like, I mean, it's just like playing with a big man and being able to like facilitate that kind of stuff. And it just doesn't seem to have made an appreciable difference. I do kind of feel like Cleveland's playing with their food a little bit here and will win the series, but uh, it is, it's an unnecessary amount of labor for these guys, I think.

• 43:02Bill Simmons?

  I picked Cleveland in six. The two series ones I liked were Cleveland in six and the Knicks in six. Cleveland in six is now minus 105, so it's even. Cleveland in seven is plus 170. And if you wanted to get nuts and think Toronto upsets Cleveland in game seven and we have another James Harden moment, that is 7-1.

• 43:24Bill Simmons?

  I do think they found something with Murray Boils though and going smaller, like they've, you know, they, they basically turned it into an athletic rock fight. And they made it really difficult for the Cavs and I'll be interested to see what the uh, what the adjustments are. I'd probably lean Cleveland in six still. But if it goes to a seven, I would just be really nervous. The history of Cleveland sports, the history of James Harden, the Donovan Mitchell. Eh, um, okay. And then Orlando Detroit, Orlando is minus 240 and Detroit is plus 198, but we did find out that Franz is yet the latest one. Oh, now it's minus 290, minus 250 Orlando, plus 205 Detroit.

• 44:07Bill Simmons?

  We did find out, even though Orlando's up 3-1, that Franz has a calf thing and is going to miss game five.

• 44:14Speaker 01

  That's a shaking, like it's like probably for the rest of the series.

• 44:18Bill Simmons?

  It's a calf thing where you're missing a game, which tells me that's at least a week and it's not 100%. And the way that I thought that team really found something with the five starters and Kane and a little black, but really like six and a half guys. So this, this changes that a little bit. I, I don't know, House. Where, where do you stand in this series, House?

• 44:38Speaker 02

  Um, it's the most impossible one to figure because of the schizophrenic magic. They were schizophrenic coming, coming down the stretch. They lost seven straight games. Then they, they finished the season on a seven and three over their last 10.

• 44:53Bill Simmons?

  They lost to our G League team.

• 44:55Speaker 02

  They, they.

• 44:56Bill Simmons?

  When they needed a win, they played all their starters.

• 44:58Speaker 02

  G League team, and then they lost to, to Philadelphia.

• 45:01Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 45:02Speaker 02

  In the, in the play in and, and really didn't even show up.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, they, they did not want to be in the playoffs against us.

• 45:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, they, that was a one, two, three Cancun vibe they were giving off for sure, Paolo. But Franz reminded us when like, he was really important to them. He really can score. He really can create, but he's Franz questionable Wagner. Tell me, take the cue out of, out of the, the, you know, next to his name and go play. Just play. He can't play. He can't be on the floor.

• 45:34Speaker 01

  Chris? It's hard to imagine because Detroit's so new to this. Uh, and this is all happening so soon for them and playing as a one seed that I don't think they have like the institutional knowledge necessarily to claw themselves out of this. So even without Wagner, it doesn't feel like this is Detroit ripping off three in a row. And it, and, and they don't, there's no guy on that team where I'm like, well, he's going to put it together. Cade's been playing like he's had a lot of turnovers, but he's been playing fine. It's just like, it's exactly what you've been talking about where it's just like they, they stood pat at the trade deadline. Maybe in three years they'll be able to be like, see, that's why we did that. But this year they're going to regret it and it's going to be a little bit of like a bruise going into next season where you're like,

• 46:15Speaker 01

  your number one seed, you were the number one seed, almost like wire to wire. I, I think they were pretty high up there at least for, for most of the season. And to get beat by the eight seed of a bunch of guys who most people were like, Jamal Mosley's going to get fired in between play in games.

• 46:29Bill Simmons?

  Still might get fired. He might win the series and still get fired.

• 46:32Speaker 01

  That's, that's crazy. So I mean, I think that that's pretty unnerving for Detroit.

• 46:37Bill Simmons?

  Well, you get the stink on you because you have this great regular season, then you flame out in round one. And then you go to the next season and no matter what the result is for the first three months, people like, well, you, this was what happened last year. Like we've seen this happen with the Cavs. We saw it happen with the Phoenix Suns. There's these teams that can have these great regular seasons and it just evaporates overnight when you, when you have like a flame out.

• 47:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm willing to be a tiny bit more generous with Detroit. They did, like Jaden Ivey might have played an important role in this series. It's, it's possible. You can't dismiss it out of hand. He could have played a meaningful minute.

• 47:16Bill Simmons?

  For TMZ headlines?

• 47:18Speaker 02

  Well, for, no, for, I mean, you know, he, he's, he's, it could have been a viable starter. And it's the case that like, you know, we complained that they didn't do more at the trade deadline, but they thought they were going to have Malik Beasley last summer. They thought Malik Beasley was going to play basketball for them. The best, one of the best three point shooters in the league last year.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, but they've known for a long time.

• 47:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. I know.

• 47:42Bill Simmons?

  Nobody put a gun to their head and told them to sign Karis Levert when their other free agents. I mean, they, they, I don't think they covered themselves in glory. I think Orlando.

• 47:50Speaker 02

  They won 60 games.

• 47:51Bill Simmons?

  No, but I'm saying.

• 47:52Speaker 02

  I think that's pretty good.

• 47:54Bill Simmons?

  You could feel it now.

• 47:56Speaker 02

  Right.

• 47:57Bill Simmons?

  I really like the Orlando minus 240 and I just think they will win one of the next three games because I don't, I, their defense, the rock fight nature of this, I just don't see Detroit winning three.

• 48:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. And Duren seems like he's on another planet. So.

• 48:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  Like they, they. If he was like, if he was balling and like, it was just like, they just are losing close games or something, but he seems.

• 48:21Speaker 02

  I mean, he just got.

• 48:22Bill Simmons?

  Major Reese.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Right. We cover that later. Uh, last thing, the lottery proposal. Shams wrote this three, two, one lottery proposal that they leaked out. Lottery is now 16 teams. This would be the idea.

• 48:37Bill Simmons?

  Teams four through 10 in the lottery order get three lottery balls. But if you fall into the bottom three, you only get two. And then everybody else, nine and 10, playing seeds in each conference also get two. And the losers of these seven, eight playing games get one. And then they had some other stuff about no team would be able to win the top pick in consecutive years, which I like. No team would be able to win three consecutive top five picks. I like that as well. And then you would not be able to protect picks in the 12 to 15 slots going forward.

• 49:13Speaker 01

  Oh, interesting.

• 49:15Bill Simmons?

  So I thought this was too confusing. The only ones I really liked out of this were the, uh, the ban on winning top pick and the ban on winning three consecutive top five picks. This other stuff, like, I still feel like there's gonna just be different ways to tank. Like, would Golden State have rather been a playing team or would rather be in the four through 10 spot with more lottery balls than anybody else than the other six teams? I would rather throw away the playing game at that point, which to me sounds like even more severe.

• 49:46Speaker 01

  So going into the playoffs, I was chatting a little bit with Zach about whether or not, like, the, the teams in this, in this play-in tournament, if that's what you wanna call it, were like a validation of the concept of the play-in or a repudiation of it? And like, would you rather be in the, the A.J. Peterson, you know, A-cuff sweepstakes? Or would you rather, you know, go get your teeth kicked in by Oklahoma City or, or I thought Detroit? And now it's like, you know, not only has Orlando now made this a series with Detroit and that's super fun, like, you know, it'll probably be a little bit hard in the second round, but like, I, I don't know, man. Like, I kinda think that-

• 50:29Speaker 01

  Improving the enticing teams that are like mediocre or low mediocre to duck the playoffs or to be worse than they actually are because they might get into the into the lottery. Even even if it's weighted that way, I still don't love it. And again, I know this is kind of a superficial critique, but if you can't explain it to me in an elevator ride, it seems like it's not going to really be popular. And that's also one of the problems with this is it's like the it's not like the NFL draft where everybody is like, I can find somebody at 30 that could help my team go to the playoffs. Like you kind of tune out after the first four picks. What about you, House?

• 51:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, this is the inherent challenge that's super unique to the NBA. And as long as the incentive structure rewards teams that fare worse over the course of the season with a higher draft pick, then you are stone cold fucked. You have created an incentive structure for teams to go try and get that because the impact is outsized. The impact of getting a player that can change your franchise, you know, in a in a in a split second. I mean, you know, Wemby isn't a good example because he's a once in a whatever kind of a player.

• 51:51Bill Simmons?

  And Detroit had the highest number that year and didn't get him.

• 51:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's right. I mean, and Washington has been up there in the mix for a handful of years. But, you know, Cooper Flag to Dallas completely resuscitated.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  Like saved the franchise.

• 52:09Speaker 02

  A dead situation. It's a miracle that they got that lottery. I'll never get over. I'll never get over there. It's a miracle.

• 52:16Bill Simmons?

  It's like gonna be a miracle when Golden State wins this year. When Golden State gets a top point pick. It's gonna be miraculous.

• 52:22Speaker 02

  It's gonna be a miracle.

• 52:24Bill Simmons?

  I don't know why we can't just have the top 10 worst teams each get eight. And anybody in from the one to 10, 8% and then we split the other 20% with how many teams you want to go and then put in those other things about the top five pick consecutive years and all that stuff. I'm fine with that. The thing I really don't like about this bottom three record being penalized thing, what happens if you just have the year from hell and a bunch of guys get injured? Like Indiana, Indiana, I actually watched those games and felt like they were trying to win most of the time for the most part. They weren't doing a lot of that chicanery or other. They just had a lot of injuries.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  First part of the season. The second part of the season. I mean, let's, let's.

• 53:08Speaker 01

  But there were teams earlier in the season and earlier than.

• 53:11Bill Simmons?

  Didn't have a choice of what was happening.

• 53:13Speaker 01

  Yeah. But then there were teams like, with no disrespect, Utah, who I felt like were.

• 53:20Bill Simmons?

  Utah definitely could have been better than.

• 53:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. Why with no disrespect?

• 53:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, because they get very touchy about that.

• 53:27Bill Simmons?

  I know, but Utah should have done that. Like if the system is gonna tell you to do this.

• 53:33Speaker 01

  Cause you talk again, AJ and have Markkinen and JJ Jay and be awesome next year, you know, like they could be really exciting.

• 53:40Bill Simmons?

  I still wonder if there's some way to, to split, like split the seasons in half for the lottery balls. And if like in that second part of the season.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  Like Argentinian soccer.

• 53:53Bill Simmons?

  Well, if your, if your record is just way out of whack with what it was in the first half of the season, then maybe that, maybe that should be, but, but this gets into your elevator thing, CR. I do think you were gonna have to be able to explain this in a sentence. It's like anything else. It's like good TV shows. You should be able to explain in a sentence. A movie pitch should be a sentence. A pitch I have for a company should be a sentence and the latter should be one sentence. And it's like, hey, top 10, the worst 10 teams, 8% chance each. You can't win the top pick two years in a row and you can't get a top five pick three years in a row. And those are our new rules and that's what we're doing. I think people would accept that more than what we have now. This three to one thing.

• 54:36Speaker 01

  The only danger is just like you, the, the teams that are 13th, 14th worst try to, try to dip in.

• 54:43Bill Simmons?

  Like, look at this. This is the proposal. This is a fucking 400 words. That can't be your proposal. So hopefully this will not be what they end up doing.

• 54:54Bill Simmons?

  House just wants to win one more lottery before they pack it in.

• 54:58Speaker 01

  This is the one.

• 54:59Bill Simmons?

  What are your big ones?

• 54:59Speaker 01

  Dude, House, there's a, there's a big culture change happening in Washington. I was reading about it.

• 55:03Bill Simmons?

  Culture change?

• 55:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. They're doing one on ones with like the whole staff of the players. Like I was reading about it. It was kinda cool. I was like, Ted.

• 55:12Bill Simmons?

  Well, House is about to do a mailbag.

• 55:12Speaker 01

  There are two ways to change, baby.

• 55:14Bill Simmons?

  We have a great, great, great, uh, Washington wizard question in the mailbag that we're about to do. CR, what's life been like after CR month? Just, just searching for answers after that? What happened?

• 55:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, searching for meaning. Yeah. Um, no, it's been pretty good.

• 55:30Speaker 02

  Hi, what are you talking about?

• 55:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I'm.

• 55:32Speaker 02

  Ghostbusters, baby.

• 55:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, Ghostbusters was great. Um, Bill, did you see, uh, the PSG Bayern Munich game today at all?

• 55:41Bill Simmons?

  I did not.

• 55:41Speaker 01

  The Champions League game.

• 55:42Bill Simmons?

  Sadly, I was doing work stuff.

• 55:44Speaker 01

  I highly recommend you check it out on the highlights.

• 55:46Bill Simmons?

  What was the final score of it?

• 55:47Speaker 01

  5-4 PSG. It's one of the best soccer football matches I've ever seen.

• 55:53Bill Simmons?

  Oh, really?

• 55:53Speaker 01

  And this guy, Michael Olise, who plays for Bayern Munich is, played out of his mind today. I was hoping he would go to Liverpool next season.

• 55:59Bill Simmons?

  You know what I did see was the second division Spanish goalkeeper clocked that other guy and got jumped by 20 guys. I watched that. I watched a bunch of angles of that one. Can that happen more? Because the goal is like the pads too.

• 56:11Speaker 02

  Send me that one. I wanna see that one.

• 56:13Bill Simmons?

  Oh, it was great. He cold cocked the guy.

• 56:15Speaker 01

  It was good stuff. Yeah.

• 56:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, and everybody got mad. Is that what's going on?

• 56:19Speaker 01

  Uh, I mean, like it's, I think it's, it's heating up obviously, but no, the PSG Bayern game was like the, like revived my, uh, my soul. It was amazing.

• 56:28Bill Simmons?

  Do you have a Champions League pick for, for House and I?

• 56:31Speaker 01

  I think PSG is gonna win.

• 56:33Bill Simmons?

  You think they're gonna win the whole thing? You got House's attention.

• 56:36Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 56:37Bill Simmons?

  He just.

• 56:37Speaker 02

  What are the odds?

• 56:39Speaker 01

  I don't know, but I think the tough thing for Arsenal is if they beat Atletico, the Spanish team, they're

• 56:46Bill Simmons?

  Plus one eighty five s.

• 56:48Speaker 02

  Okay, good. I'm in.

• 56:49Speaker 01

  They're running Arsenal's run in is tight because they're they're going nose to nose with Man City for the for the title. So it's a little harder for them than it would be for PSG.

• 56:58Bill Simmons?

  CR is just as soon as the Sixers get eliminated, whatever round, he moves right into World Cup mode. And England, just thinking about everything, where we're gonna go.

• 57:08Speaker 02

  Is that is that the well, who's your your World Cup pick?

• 57:11Speaker 01

  I uh, my World Cup pick?

• 57:14Bill Simmons?

  He hasn't done all the all the research.

• 57:16Speaker 01

  It really depends because a bunch of guys have gotten hurt recently. So I have to kind of rethink it. A couple of French guys got hurt.

• 57:23Bill Simmons?

  He's doing, he's preparing for Sean's doing a movie draft of the best Philip Baker Hall movies. They're running out of movie draft ideas, so they're doing that. He's hoping to get happiness with the second round pick.

• 57:35Speaker 01

  Hey, I don't want to keep House up very late, but I have to ask him one question.

• 57:38Bill Simmons?

  Groggy House loves this. What are you talking about?

• 57:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm good.

• 57:41Speaker 01

  For the last like 10, 12 days, maybe a little bit longer, he's been kind of trolling me about how unquestionable it is that R E M is better than the replacements. And

• 57:53Speaker 02

  God.

• 57:54Speaker 01

  I I didn't know where you stood on this, but I know you must think it's a closer fight than Bill seems to.

• 57:59Bill Simmons?

  That wasn't what I said. As usual, classic CR, you twisted my words around. I said at the time, CR that R E M was a much bigger band than the replacements and it wasn't arguable and we didn't put them next to each other.

• 58:12Speaker 02

  That is true.

• 58:13Bill Simmons?

  And now as the years have passed.

• 58:15Speaker 02

  Different.

• 58:15Bill Simmons?

  People are like, no, actually the replacements were better. And that's been a thing that is now happening.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  Different arguments and you following me down the hallway and being like the bums lost is not convincing me because you said they're bigger. I said, I know they're bigger. And you were like, and they were better. And I it's like, I just don't agree.

• 58:32Bill Simmons?

  They had a more successful career.

• 58:34Speaker 02

  Okay, again, two different like, you know, who had a more NSYNC had a more successful career than Minor Threat. Okay.

• 58:43Speaker 01

  Now we're talking.

• 58:45Speaker 02

  NSYNC had had a, you know, made more money, was more well known, you know, more critical, not more critical acclaim, but uh.

• 58:54Bill Simmons?

  House, when we were in college, R E M. Was the crown prince of alternative college radio. They were the band.

• 59:02Speaker 02

  I was a DJ.

• 59:04Bill Simmons?

  I know.

• 59:04Speaker 02

  At WCHC, the College of the Holy Cross, the hip stuff, 99.1 FM. From the day I arrived, you know, the first time they let me on in that radio station, within the first couple of weeks of school, they gave me, uh, me and Jeff Mason, uh, the 10 a.m., 10 p.m., the 1 a.m. Friday night slot. Hey freshman, go suck a fat one. Here's your radio slot, Friday nights at Holy Cross.

• 59:33Bill Simmons?

  It's actually a good spot.

• 59:34Speaker 01

  Lights and Mountain Dew with Joe House and Jeff Mason.

• 59:39Speaker 02

  And I'm here to tell you, I didn't play R E M. In four years, from 19, the fall of 1987 to the, to the spring of 1991, I didn't play a single R E M. Song, not once in my entire college.

• 59:55Bill Simmons?

  Cause they were too mainstream and you were hanging zapping against the mainstream at that place.

• 1:00:00Speaker 02

  Say it against the R.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  How much Tim did you, did you, do you bang? How much?

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  Amazing. Of course, of course, goes without saying.

• 1:00:08Speaker 01

  There you go. That's the only metric that counts, Bill.

• 1:00:10Speaker 02

  Mission of Burma, you know, Replacements, Lemonheads back, like also all amazing stuff we could do. Volcano Suns, bang it, baby.

• 1:00:21Bill Simmons?

  So what's your answer, House?

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  But what?

• 1:00:25Bill Simmons?

  Who do you prefer?

• 1:00:26Speaker 02

  R E M. Was more, has more, has established a lengthier career, but the Replacements are irrefutably, incredibly impactful for the moment that they, they arrived in what they did. Okay.

• 1:00:39Bill Simmons?

  I agree.

• 1:00:40Speaker 02

  On the same page. We're all on the same page.

• 1:00:42Bill Simmons?

  So is Fugazi.

• 1:00:44Speaker 02

  Fugazi surpasses the Replacements to be, I mean respectfully.

• 1:00:48Bill Simmons?

  Uh, you know, it's coming back, guys.

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  Longer conversation.

• 1:00:52Bill Simmons?

  Early 2000s music is fucking back.

• 1:00:57Speaker 02

  Let's go.

• 1:00:58Bill Simmons?

  Ben Simmons went to Coachella. Number one reason was because the Strokes were playing. He was more excited about them than anything else. All that music is back from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the Strokes, all that stuff is back. LCD.

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  I saw a Strokes bunch back in the day. They were a little wet party for me.

• 1:01:20Speaker 02

  Like I saw them with guided by voices. That's the problem, CR.

• 1:01:23Speaker 01

  And guided by voices kicked their ass, right?

• 1:01:26Speaker 02

  It wasn't even close. Yeah. So that's the problem. First time I saw the Strokes where they played with guided by voices.

• 1:01:31Bill Simmons?

  All right. Can we, can we schedule like a late eighties, early nineties?

• 1:01:35Speaker 01

  Please.

• 1:01:35Bill Simmons?

  Alternative rock.

• 1:01:37Speaker 01

  Is this the first time Minor Threats ever been mentioned on your podcast?

• 1:01:39Bill Simmons?

  That was pretty impressive. Definitely. There's a hundred percent chance.

• 1:01:45Bill Simmons?

  All right. House is gonna stay because we're doing a mailbag. CR is gonna go and celebrate with a couple of VJ Edgecombe brews. VJ Edgecombe lights.

• 1:01:55Speaker 02

  That sounds delicious.

• 1:01:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. VJ lights. Guys, thanks so much.

• 1:01:58Bill Simmons?

  See you soon. All right. We are in full swing for the NBA playoffs. Great teams, great players, great action every single night. The stakes are the absolute highest. And when I watch, I love to bet on FanDuel, especially when I'm on the East Coast back for something game. So that I could just jump right in. FanDuel, a brand I trust. Easy to build by bet. I know I will get my winnings instantly. So Wednesday night, a couple of really fun ones because we have, we have Orlando, Detroit, Toronto, Cleveland, and Houston Lakers. And honestly, I don't think you can go wrong with the underdog money lines in any of those. I'm gonna send out an official pick if I really love one of the matchups or a parlay situation. But um,

• 1:02:41Bill Simmons?

  I think all of those series are 50 50 series, especially like Orlando might just be better than Detroit. Toronto has really figured out a small ball lineup to bug Cleveland. And Houston Lakers, who knows? I mean, that series should be 2-2. It's 3-1. Anyway, I will figure it out. Check out my picks in the FanDuel Sportsbook app and on my social feed. Don't forget to boost your potential winnings before you place it. FanDuel, play your game. All right. You just saw House with CR. Now we've gone in a time machine backwards about uh, 10 hours, House. And we're gonna do some mailbag questions. I had so many good mailbag questions. People sending them into bs podcast 33 at gmail.com. You came on and did the mailbag with me, I think last month. And you said after, I just had a great time.

• 1:03:26Speaker 02

  It's a true story. I love the mailbag. It's one of, I mean, I'm not as sure that I'm allowed to talk about your reapex, but the reintroduction of the mailbag into your steady stream of content is, is, is welcome and America loves it.

• 1:03:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. When I started my column on this Boston Sports Guide 97, I think the mailbag was like the third one I ever did. It was encouraging people to send emails. So I'm glad they're still happening. I have a bunch of good ones for us. First one is from Chad H. who made a request.

• 1:03:59Bill Simmons?

  Would prefer if you could answer this one with house for obvious reasons.

• 1:04:03Speaker 02

  Uh oh.

• 1:04:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Where do you think this is going?

• 1:04:07Speaker 02

  There are two or three possibilities, none of which are good.

• 1:04:10Bill Simmons?

  He said, I was so excited for Arby's Steak Nuggets when they came out last year. And then it seemed like they dropped off the face of the earth. It was over before it started. I think this should be an NBA award. Who is this year's Arby's Steak Nuggets NBA Player of the Year named for the player that showed such early promise and then for one reason or another completely fell off the map?

• 1:04:34Speaker 02

  Wow. Tremendous question.

• 1:04:36Bill Simmons?

  Really good. I have a good answer for this that I can go first unless you want to jump in.

• 1:04:41Speaker 02

  I need you to go first, but I will say in Arby's defense, part of the allure of the Nuggets was their scarcity. It was a limited time run, a limited edition. Now I'm not suggesting that whatever player you have in mind and one that I'll think of in the next 35 seconds also should, should be scarce or should be a limited run. But there's nothing keeping Arby's from bringing back the steak nuggets. And in the same way that this player that we're going to talk about could ascend yet.

• 1:05:10Bill Simmons?

  So the scarcity, I think what we're landing on here is it had to be somebody we felt like was going to be in our life more consistently. And then it was abruptly over.

• 1:05:21Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:05:22Bill Simmons?

  But we know next season, the player is going to come back, much like the Arby's Steak Nuggets. So the candidates to me are basically anyone on Charlotte. We could go with, we could go with Conklinipal that we thought we were going to get a great playoff run from him. All of a sudden it was over. He didn't win Rookie of the Year. And it's just abrupt, but I think the answer is Jalen Durin, who I voted for second, I voted for him second team all NBA. I really thought he-

• 1:05:51Speaker 02

  Daily content out of this now. He hurt your feelings. You're, you're really in your feelings about this.

• 1:05:56Bill Simmons?

  I really believed, I had him second team all NBA. I wanna, I wanna write into the NBA and see if I can change my vote, even though I already sent it in. He's been so bad in these playoffs for him, for somebody that I thought was just impactful and consistent night after night. And now it just seems like he's a mess. That I wonder if it's, but he's still playing, so I don't know if that qualifies.

• 1:06:18Speaker 02

  So I was trying to think of teams that came out hot and then fell off at the beginning of the season. We thought, oh, look at this team. And then they fell off, but I can't really come up with anybody that fits that very well. It, does Giannis qualify? Like the version of the Bucks that we all lost money on because we thought that the Bucks were gonna be really something this, this season. Uh, and we got tiny tastes of him and like, oh, uh, Hollins, like, look at this, you know, what, what he's done in terms of, of the, like, they've got the role players. It looks like this Bucks team could be something. It was very fleeting. It tasted good for a minute and now it's gone.

• 1:06:54Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's pretty good.

• 1:06:57Bill Simmons?

  I think that's probably the answer. There was like this, when Giannis came back and the Bucks had hung around. And it, but the thing is like the Arby's Steak Nuggets came out of nowhere. Giannis we'd had for years and years. So I do feel like it has to be like a fast riser guy.

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  Oh, a player that we, yeah, that we didn't anticipate.

• 1:07:16Bill Simmons?

  You know, it could be LaMelo too. Like we didn't realize this LaMelo thing, but yeah, I think it's LaMelo. That's the answer.

• 1:07:22Speaker 02

  I like that one.

• 1:07:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it abruptly ended and then we were mad at him and he just did a bunch of dumb things and we don't know where he went. All right, we'll go with LaMelo. Uh, Alex from Virginia said, I know you and Zach are old white guys. Good start. And maybe you need Van Lathan to inform you of important information that the beautiful Angel Reese used to date Jalen Durin. Now she is the proud girl of Wendell Carter and has taunted Duren on Instagram during the series. So Carter may have taken Angel Reese, outplayed Duren in a series and potentially even sent him home as a 1-8 underdog. Wendell needs respect. So I didn't know about this till yesterday. So maybe that is because I'm an old white guy. Because she did an Instagram

• 1:08:06Bill Simmons?

  of Kane on the Magic, who Raising Kane came out of nowhere and dunked right on Duren's head. And she did an Instagram post about it and has been, I guess, I'm not, I'm not really on social like that. So I sometimes I miss stuff and I definitely miss this storyline. I wish we could have incorporated into our bet. I feel like we might have even taken Orlando money line if we had known this was a factor. But anyway, did you know about this as another old white guy?

• 1:08:37Speaker 02

  Game by game, I'm familiar with the, who she's dating now. I'm familiar with this current relationship. I didn't, I don't, I didn't know the entirety of the history. I will say, since game two with Orlando, I've thought that Orlando's been super live. And I'm sure we were covering it in the, in the portion with CR. So I won't elaborate right now.

• 1:09:01Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:09:03Bill Simmons?

  Zach wants to know, for all the times you mentioned people saying Denver beat no one on the way to their championship in 23. I mentioned, I didn't say I felt this way, but this is a thing that people are saying now, that Denver's only won one title. They didn't beat anyone that year. Zach wants us to remember that all the experts picked both the Lakers and the Suns to win the West a year and the Suns team was allegedly stacked. And the whole reason I started listening to your podcast in the first place is you were the only voice outside Denver that genuinely believed the Nuggets could win. I just feel like I need to defend our only championship as we potentially fall apart this year. It is one of those stupid narratives because Denver was not on the radar like that. And people did think it was going to be Lakers. I don't remember what the Suns Nuggets line was that series, but I think people felt like that was going to be even.

• 1:09:49Bill Simmons?

  Right?

• 1:09:49Speaker 02

  I loathe this. I loathe it. That is to say that the storyline about a team with an undeserved NBA championship outcome, the only one within modern era that you could possibly take issue with poke holes in is

• 1:10:06Bill Simmons?

  The bubble.

• 1:10:06Speaker 02

  The summer camp, the summer camp championship that the Lakers won. That's exactly right.

• 1:10:10Bill Simmons?

  I mean, did you?

• 1:10:11Speaker 02

  Everything else. Come on.

• 1:10:12Bill Simmons?

  Did you see what Davis said about that? He felt like they didn't even really totally win. And it was so weird there and it was just completely different.

• 1:10:20Speaker 02

  That sounds like every other Davis. That makes sense.

• 1:10:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. Shocker.

• 1:10:25Bill Simmons?

  No, I thought, I thought Denver, you know, when they played Miami, Miami was like a giant killer at that point. They'd taken out a lot of good teams and you could make the case, the, the only thing you could really ding Denver on, it's not their fault. It was Dragic got hurt and Dragic wasn't the same in the finals. And I think that would have been a really live finals for Miami if Dragic is healthy. I don't know if they would have won.

• 1:10:45Speaker 02

  We have examples of, of, of teams that, that suffer an injury in that way, you know, either as the finals get started during the course of the finals, that the NBA history is replete with those examples. Denver earned that title. It was legit. They,

• 1:10:59Bill Simmons?

  That's how I feel.

• 1:11:00Speaker 02

  You can pave it however you say, oh, the path because they encountered this and that. Like every champion of the last 50 years has those kinds of weird oddities.

• 1:11:10Bill Simmons?

  If we're going to do that with teams and pick the 24 Celtics or another team, we're like, oh, who they play? If we're going to do that with half the titles, then we should swing the other way. And we should talk about the 2011 Mavericks title reverentially, where they went through every good team in the West. I think they were underdogs. They, they beat Portland in a series they were down on. They swept the Lakers. They beat OKC. And when OKC was really scary and then

• 1:11:37Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:11:38Bill Simmons?

  Upset this Miami team that everybody thought, everybody thought was going to win eight straight titles. Then we should talk about Dirk reverentially. We should talk about the 2011 Mavs all the time. You can't have it both ways.

• 1:11:48Speaker 02

  That's fine.

• 1:11:49Bill Simmons?

  All roads are equal.

• 1:11:51Speaker 02

  We, we. But they're all hard. I mean, I'm not, why were you trying to?

• 1:11:55Bill Simmons?

  It's hard to win 16 playoff games. Yeah.

• 1:11:57Speaker 02

  It's hard to win 16 playoff games.

• 1:11:58Bill Simmons?

  We're on the same page with that.

• 1:11:59Speaker 02

  I don't want to get into the business of, of, yeah, we're on the same side.

• 1:12:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Cause you look at OKC this year, they get Phoenix in round one. They're going to get Lakers, Rockets, you know, that winner in round two. And then, um, you know, potentially San Antonio, Denver, whatever happens.

• 1:12:19Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:12:20Bill Simmons?

  And maybe, who knows if one of those teams is even going to be fully healthy in that series. So I don't know. You could do this all the time. This one I did not know about, and I checked today and it was not a big deal. It was, it was brought to my attention by Dave Workman. Who said, did you hear Jay Moore's latest pod with Vlad Edivats?

• 1:12:39Bill Simmons?

  Now, there is a really funny part of this where Vlad explains, um, why they took Marvin Bagley over Luca, because they already had this leader in De'Aaron Fox, who was happy to be in a small market and he thought Luca was a big market guy. It might not be a fit. It was like insane. It was like he had six years to workshop it. Anyway, Dave says, obviously he's married to Jeannie Buss. When they were talking about Luca, he said, quote, "I knew about the Luca trade for like six weeks because of Jeannie. Had to keep my mouth shut. And I was like, don't trade AD. That's crazy." And then he asked thoughts. Okay. So this goes back to

• 1:13:20Bill Simmons?

  a great conspiracy building that I've even tried to badger, uh, Rich Paul, who does a podcast for The Ringer about, I feel like way more people than everyone claims knew about this Luca trade. I'm, I'm just always going to believe it.

• 1:13:35Speaker 02

  You've been saying it from the very beginning.

• 1:13:37Bill Simmons?

  Always going to say it. I'm always going to, Cuban pretends he didn't know. Uh, Dumont's pretended they didn't know until the last minute. Jason Kidd, who I wouldn't say has like an awesome. Truth history. Um, he claimed he didn't know. JJ Reddick said he knew at the last second. It was basically-

• 1:13:57Speaker 02

  Of every single person so far, I believe JJ the most.

• 1:14:00Bill Simmons?

  And I think Genie even said, yeah, we didn't know until the last second. Well, now your boyfriend just went on or now your husband went on a podcast and said he knew for six weeks. So-

• 1:14:10Speaker 02

  I mean, the proof is in the pudding. You spell it out immediately. AD waved the trade kicker. That's it. That's all you need to know.

• 1:14:15Bill Simmons?

  AD waved the trade kicker almost overnight for reasons that remain unclear because he was fine with the trade because he wasn't 100% happy in LA. And I just, I, I, what would you say? Over, under people that know? I'm going, if I give you over now, over, under nine and a half? Would you go over or under?

• 1:14:31Speaker 02

  I thought you, I thought you were going to set it at 15 and a half because think about everybody in that on the two ownership groups, right? Those ownership groups are, uh, you know, have minority owners, whatever. Yeah. Uh, nine and a half isn't over for me.

• 1:14:45Bill Simmons?

  Okay. This is one of the reasons I wanted to have you on. A fantastic email from Fergus Collins.

• 1:14:52Speaker 02

  All right, Fergus.

• 1:14:53Bill Simmons?

  I'm from Ireland. I mostly follow Irish sports, but I'm also a Celtics fan. Why does following Rory McIlroy and following the Celtics feel like the exact same emotional roller coaster? They both give me the most hope for success to a fan while also giving me the greatest chance of a dramatic collapse. The Celtics lost two 20-point leads against the Knicks last year. McIlroy ties the round with Scottie in the 18th and Ryder Cup. The Heat upset the Celtics in the playoffs. Rory throws a four-shot final round lead in the Masters in 2011, going up six on Saturday in Augusta. Countless articles about how no golfer is ever so major. Then he's talking about the Celtics favored to win the East.

• 1:15:33Bill Simmons?

  Scrappy team, but always blows lead. He goes on and on and he said, uh, how did I end up with both of these people in my life? Basically. What a great analogy because Rory is the most talented, I mean, other than Scottie, he's the most talented golfer.

• 1:15:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:15:49Bill Simmons?

  And it's always like-

• 1:15:50Speaker 02

  And over the last 20 years, he's, he's really, you know, he's been in that upper, upper, upper echelon.

• 1:15:55Bill Simmons?

  And he, the greatest enemy to Rory is himself. And in a lot of ways, I felt the same way about the Celtics the last few years. Even the other night in Portland, in Philly, when they're up in game four by 25. And I'm like, I'm still have my seatbelt on. I'm fully prepared for them to just take 10 terrible threes in a row. And all of a sudden we're up seven. There's something about their style of play. I just never feel safe, which I think is exactly the same feeling as Rory. So I actually think this is really good.

• 1:16:25Speaker 02

  It's great. Never feel safe with Rory, any lead whatsoever. I mean, going to bed Friday night with that six stroke lead. You know, the conversations in my threads were like, you know, how, how is this going to get tightened up? We all know that, that it's, you know, that the six strokes are going to evaporate by hook or by crook. The only thing I wonder about, and it is a tremendous job by Fergus.

• 1:16:49Speaker 02

  Rory has an element of

• 1:16:54Speaker 02

  unmet potential because there was a 10 year gap between the majors that he won. Was there a point since, you know, the Celtics won in 24. So they finally got the Jays, the championship. But it felt like that was on time. It didn't feel like the Jays should have won a championship earlier than that to me.

• 1:17:15Bill Simmons?

  No, they, they should have won in 22. They just weren't ready to win it.

• 1:17:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, I agree.

• 1:17:20Bill Simmons?

  They were better. They had a better Curry just, that was Curry and the Warriors infrastructure and the, and the Celtics not being ready yet. But I think if you go back and watch those games, it's like, oh my God, how did they not pull this off? It was just Curry was the know how. You couldn't compete with it.

• 1:17:37Speaker 02

  That's right. I agree.

• 1:17:38Bill Simmons?

  20 in the bubble is interesting because I don't think they were really ready that year. And they had the Kemba Walker piece of it, but they really went toe to toe with all those teams that year. And that was easily one that could have made the finals. And then 18, that game seven against Cleveland, we, you know, one of LeBron's greatest games ever. He plays all 48 minutes and it's basically just LeBron against the Celtics. What did they miss 100 threes? So they would have made the finals. So if you say. This whole run from when they got out Horford all the way to now, and it's basically, they've only made the finals twice. I would say that's a slight underachieve for the potential.

• 1:18:16Speaker 02

  Okay. Yeah. Because I mean, you would point to for Rory, the US Open that he coughed up against Bryson when Bryson snatched it, you know, on the 18th hole with Rory missing a short putt, or Rory lost the Open Championship, Cam Smith, a couple of years ago, shot a super low score and Rory couldn't get any birdies to roll in. So it was right there on a Sunday on the back nine of those championships and couldn't get it across the line. Okay.

• 1:18:39Bill Simmons?

  And last year too, like they blow two 20-point leads to the Knicks and then Tatum gets hurt and they, you know, squander that series. Indiana ends up making it and taking OKC to seven and OKC is young and not totally ready yet. And who knows what the Celtics would have been. But I, I think that's a, I think that's a good analogy. I think we're going to look back at how they had Tatum and Brown basically coming in at the same time a year apart.

• 1:19:07Bill Simmons?

  Which is impossible now in this day and age to keep two guys like that who are that expensive together. But they also had cap space and a great GM. And I'm like, man, they only made two finals. That's why I think there's some pressure on them this year.

• 1:19:19Speaker 02

  That's a great point.

• 1:19:19Bill Simmons?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:19:20Speaker 02

  It's like, wow.

• 1:19:21Bill Simmons?

  I like this. Why didn't we make more finals than that? We had these two guys the whole time.

• 1:19:25Speaker 02

  It's important.

• 1:19:25Bill Simmons?

  Speaking of Tatum.

• 1:19:28Bill Simmons?

  Xavier in New York says Dante DiVincenzo, they said he already went full Tatum surgery. Are we at the point where that should just be what it's called? Like how Tommy John became TJ, tear it, fix it immediately, no debate. Tatum bounced back. Have we now created the JT surgery? Because so much of it depends on how fast players get it after they tear their Achilles. You have to repair it immediately if a better chance to come back. Will this be called the Tatum surgery?

• 1:19:56Speaker 02

  I, I can't, I can't stand for it. And it's not because I have any particular feelings for the player that I think it's appropriately assigned to. But we did, we lived through it with Aaron Rodgers. Aaron Rodgers was threatening coming back and playing football games, you know, the, the, the, the season right after.

• 1:20:19Bill Simmons?

  But he got a different, Aaron Rodgers got the different surgery though. He got the quickie surgery. Tatum got the one where-

• 1:20:25Speaker 02

  He hit it immediately.

• 1:20:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, but he got the one that allowed him to come back faster. Tatum got the one where they did the full heal, but they did it within 10 hours of the injury. And they feel like that and allowed it to come back 100%. I do feel like he might have, the doctor who did it might have created some new version of this.

• 1:20:42Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:20:42Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. I'm, I don't like having Tatum's name involved with the surgery is my least favorite part of this.

• 1:20:49Speaker 02

  How long did it take Kobe? I feel like Kobe was his comeback.

• 1:20:53Bill Simmons?

  But then he got hurt again.

• 1:20:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:20:55Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he came back, but then hurt something else. I threw this at Zach. I wanted to get your take from Rob from Pennsyl. Could you consider renaming the Ewing theory after Trey Young? Got a few of these about the Hawks without Trey Young are eligible. And my, my take was pretty steadfast. Like he wasn't good enough to be eligible for the Ewing theory. And I don't feel like anybody thought the Hawks were screwed when they traded him. You, you're, you're down with that, right?

• 1:21:18Speaker 02

  No, and, and also I feel like an element of Ewing theory includes a kind of immediacy. Like the, the player is supposed to be part of your plan and the player is lost and you're not.

• 1:21:29Bill Simmons?

  Like, like Edwards getting hurt right now. If Minnesota makes the finals without Edwards, that's the Ewing theory.

• 1:21:34Speaker 02

  That would be the Ewing theory. Exactly. Trey Young had already been marginalized, like the direction of the, the team. Yeah. With the trades that they made, the acquisitions, the off season acquisitions, the direction of the team. They were looking to, I feel like they knew what they had with Trey. It, they, you know, the answer to this because they didn't extend him. Like if, if they, he was the most important player to them, then they would have extended him. So I, I, I don't ever criticize anyone for trying, you know, let's, let's be creative here. Everybody's innovating with, with the theory, but I feel like we have to visit.

• 1:22:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, don't forget what the bones of it are, which was a superstar that the media felt was the single biggest reason the team would win the title. Gets hurt, everybody writes off, gets hurt or traded or whatever. Everybody writes off the team and then they do better without him. That is fundamentally what the Ewing theory is. Edwards would be an example. Another one would be like if Jalen Brunson sprained an ankle or something. And all of a sudden the Knicks started running stuff through towns and were much better. Without Brunson, basically. And we're like, whoa, it's a different Knicks team, but are they better? And that would be an example of the Ewing theory. Like, oh, my God, we're so screwed. We don't have Brunson and then he's better.

• 1:22:45Speaker 02

  And it would be the Knicks. I mean, that would be pretty interesting.

• 1:22:47Bill Simmons?

  Or if the Celtics last year, if Tatum had got hurt and they came back from 3-1 and made the finals and then.

• 1:22:52Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:22:52Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's that. It has to be that level of player. Will Hanselman from Chicago writes, I didn't know this. He said, a lot of people talk about Ripken's consecutive games played, a streak that you love dearly, or Wilt's 100. I will always think the most unbelievable sports stat is LeBron averaging 27, 7 and 7 over 1600 plus games, but never playing a single game that had the stat line 27, 7 and 7. I feel like it's more likely his points record gets broken than whatever the hell that record is. It's the perfect metaphor for a guy who's historical consistency never stops changing and evolving. I had no way to look this up because I'm not smart enough.

• 1:23:36Bill Simmons?

  But if this is true, if he never actually had a 27, 7, 7 while averaging 27 and 7 and 7 every year, that's fucking crazy. That's the single, that's crazier than Bam's 83 point game. So please, can somebody tell us once and for all if that is true or not?

• 1:23:53Speaker 02

  Somebody to look that up.

• 1:23:54Bill Simmons?

  How is that possible?

• 1:23:55Speaker 02

  27, 7 and 7 for all the games that he played, where you think about, he made eight straight finals. So you're not just talking about regular season games. You're talking about playoff series after playoff series after, and they weren't like, you know, 4-0s or 4-1s. Like, that's a lot of games to not get a 27, 7, 7.

• 1:24:15Bill Simmons?

  It can't be true. John Palmer asks, you'll love this one. Will pulling a Paul George become a thing? Every aging star dealing with injuries should be taking tons of alleged HCH and other alleged banned substances, get stronger and recover faster. The penalty if caught is a 20-plus game midseason vacation, which you probably would have missed anyway via load management, leaving you more time to recover and train. They come back healthier and better just in time to spin up for the playoffs. They're giving up money, of course, but what were the other negative consequences for Paul George? Again, this is from John Palmer. So here's the thing.

• 1:24:55Bill Simmons?

  Paul George has looked really good in this Sixers Celtics series. Like he, I talked to this with Zach on Sunday night. It's like, I feel like he's resuscitated his trade value. So he cost himself, what, 10 million with the suspension? But he's resuscitated himself as an asset, whereas in March with big Waz, he was the second pick in our worst contract draft. I don't think he would be the second pick anymore. So I, I, I love the concept of pulling a Paul George in general and trying to guess who would do this next year. It's like, oh, Zach Levine, he's pulling a Paul George.

• 1:25:30Speaker 02

  No, it's gotta be somebody good who needs the rest, somebody like Draymond, like somebody, yeah, yeah, somebody who.

• 1:25:36Bill Simmons?

  So then they're 30s.

• 1:25:38Speaker 02

  We're in that stretch right before the playoffs. That would be to me, if you're looking for an opportunity for there to be genuine salary cap circumvention, uh, that would be one where the team and the player and its representatives are all like, you know, you felt like, you felt like just taking a look. Cause like in terms of, of, of NBA, um, public consumership, I feel like it's, it's, I, you don't get as mad at the player for, oh, he got popped for, for a piss test as opposed to he's sitting out deliberately because he's resting up for the playoffs.

• 1:26:16Bill Simmons?

  True.

• 1:26:17Speaker 02

  I feel like it gives you a pass a little bit to fail the piss test.

• 1:26:20Bill Simmons?

  Plus he brilliantly played the mental health card immediately, right? When he came back and people were like, okay, didn't realize. And that was it. Like Barry Bonds was like, fuck, why did I know that in 2004?

• 1:26:30Speaker 02

  If only, if only he knew. Yeah.

• 1:26:33Bill Simmons?

  I was thinking of some of the best pulling of blanks ever. And I think my favorite one is Vince Vaughn in swingers saying, I want to grab two cocktail wedges and pull me a Fredo or whatever he said, like putting the pulling a Fredo was my favorite pulling of. But pulling a Paul George, pretty good. And now it's time for our new segment called Era Comp. It is brought to you by New Era, the official cap of the NBA. Today's players, I know they're incredible. It's also important to recognize the legends who shaped the game we're watching today. As you know, I love to do this in my podcast, constantly bring up the past, bring up the history, everything. The New Era NBA Hardwood Classics Collection celebrates a lot of those iconic moments and players who made that era unforgettable.

• 1:27:16Bill Simmons?

  So let's put the era side by side, the eighties and now. They wanted me to pick up top player now and compare him to a player in the eighties. And this is a little unconventional, but I think there's a lot of Jokic and late eighties Magic Johnson, who, Magic Johnson was allegedly a point guard. He really wasn't. He couldn't guard the other point guard on the other team. He controlled the game. He could post up. He did a lot of stuff with his back to the basket. He controlled the pace of the game. Unbelievable passer. He could score 37 points in a game. He could score 20. He could have 20 assists in the game. He could have eight. He could rebound. He could get triple doubles and was just all over every single game offensively. And I think Joker, even though he's a center, when I watch

• 1:28:01Bill Simmons?

  them, they really remind me of each other. Joker is like the, the kind of spawn of Bird and Magic, but really closer to the late eighties Magic side, I think is the comp. And when I watch Joker, it's hard not to think of late eighties Magic as Kareem is bald and old and everything had to run through Magic. Anyway, you can relive vintage logos and timeless icons with the New Era NBA Hardwood Classics Collection. Headwear available in a wide range of fitted and adjustable styles. I'm personally an adjustable guy because I have a giant head, as well as hardwood classics apparel. Here's what you have to do. You have to visit newera cap.com/ringer. That is newera cap.com/ringer and you can shop now and you can use one time code RINGER

• 1:28:45Bill Simmons?

  for 20% off your first order. Go do it.

• 1:28:48Speaker 03

  What if you could run your Oracle databases in the cloud you already use? Good news, you can. Oracle AI Database runs in every major cloud, including AWS, Google Cloud, Microsoft Azure, and OCI. Migrate your Oracle databases to the cloud of your choice today, simply, securely, and on your terms. Find out how at oracle.com/migrate. That's oracle.com/migrate. oracle.com/migrate.

• 1:29:17Bill Simmons?

  D Bob in New York.

• 1:29:20Bill Simmons?

  He says, I think the streaming resolution, I'm sorry, the streaming revolution of the last seven years was secretly pushed by big advertisement. Before streaming, I never watched a commercial in my life. When the game went to break, I flipped channels. If I was watching on DVR, I fast forwarded. Now I'm taking every second of commercials in because it takes too long to get out of the Amazon or Peacock app. Thoughts?

• 1:29:44Speaker 02

  It is true.

• 1:29:45Bill Simmons?

  D Bob.

• 1:29:46Speaker 02

  D Bob is on the money here.

• 1:29:48Bill Simmons?

  I can't touch it. We're on Peacock. First of all, if you leave Peacock, you can't get back for another seven minutes. It's like, it auto locks you out.

• 1:29:57Speaker 02

  I had no, I thought it was me. I thought that, you know, I'm a pretty caveman TV person.

• 1:30:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:04Speaker 02

  So I thought it's because I'm using the internet to pull up my streaming, my streamers are all like.

• 1:30:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:10Speaker 02

  Yes, yeah, I'm doing it. And I thought, oh, I must be the only moron who can't switch from there to, you know, ESPN to see what's going on in the, in the hockey game. Because it will take me, you know, another four and a half minutes just to get over to ESPN. So good, this makes me feel better.

• 1:30:27Bill Simmons?

  These sports on streamers, I think there's been some real ramifications that we weren't really fully able to assess until these playoffs started. Cause like when Netflix had the Christmas games, it's like, cool, I'll just pop over and check out the Christmas game or I'll watch the Christmas game. But now in late April, when there's hockey and basketball and baseball on, you really want the ability to maneuver around. And unless, like, thank God for me, I have multiple TVs and I can keep stuff on.

• 1:30:54Speaker 02

  Thank God for you.

• 1:30:55Bill Simmons?

  But if you're a college kid, you have one TV or if you're at a bar.

• 1:30:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:00Bill Simmons?

  Like, somebody was telling me in New York.

• 1:31:02Speaker 02

  If you're at a bar, you can go from that portion of where that TV over to this portion where the other TV is.

• 1:31:07Bill Simmons?

  Somebody was telling me at a bar in New York. They could only have the Amazon on one, one of like the eight TVs because they lock you out after, after three devices. So the other seven TVs were like tied to ESPN and baseball and, and there was like the one Amazon TV. And I was like, that makes sense. Like, I can't even watch Amazon with my dad and my daughter hopping on my Amazon at the same time. We really, this is, we need a sports bar, sports are to really figure all of this out because I just feel like Amazon should relax the device thing for the playoffs. And Peacock, same thing where it should just be like during the playoffs, 25 people can

• 1:31:47Bill Simmons?

  use my Peacock or my Amazon. And, and then bar, or maybe bars get a special exemption. I don't know. There's got to be a better way to do this.

• 1:31:56Speaker 02

  There's got to be a better way to do this. I, I just want the, the back function. How do I get the back function restored? I can't have two TVs.

• 1:32:03Bill Simmons?

  Yesterday, that, or Tuesday, Monday's game, the first one ended on Peacock. And I wanted to go backwards out of it.

• 1:32:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:32:14Bill Simmons?

  And I just went into an abyss on the TV. I was like, I was like Pluto. I was like, what happened? Yeah, I just skidded sideways. Um, this email is no longer timely, but I really liked it. And I feel like we gotta figure out how to use it anyway. I am a proud female listener, and I've been riding hard for the pod for decades. Now to business. The playoffs start on April 17th, and I need to know which matchups are you fully locked in for? And which ones are you not, absolutely not drinking any fucking Merlot on? Do all eight matchups have some Pinot in them? Or do any qualify as a Merlot matchup? Maybe you can spend quality time

• 1:32:57Bill Simmons?

  with your family and miss one. And this is written by Nicole, quotes BJ Diamond in Larchmont, New York. I'm just reading the email.

• 1:33:07Bill Simmons?

  Tremendous.

• 1:33:11Bill Simmons?

  What was our, I like the idea of the Merlot matchup, though. I think it was OKC, Phoenix was our Merlot.

• 1:33:16Speaker 02

  Definitely. Definitely. I'm only interested in that to get a gauge on whether I'm going to live bet the spread, the second half spread, or the fourth quarter. Is OKC going to cover? How am I going to live bet this? That's it. I would check in. Do I want to live bet it?

• 1:33:33Bill Simmons?

  I did a FanDuel thing yesterday that actually hit where I had K25 plus Tobias 15 plus OKC to win. And Shay 25 plus. So I was rooting for Shay to score. And Shay had five points at the end of the first quarter. And it was really fun because it was like, all right, I'm probably safe here. It's SGA. And then Shay just ripped off like 14 points in like three minutes. And it was like, this is great. I'm having so much fun. Bet it is over. Yeah.

• 1:34:03Speaker 02

  Phoenix was very, very, very plucky. They were, they were in that.

• 1:34:08Bill Simmons?

  But it was, it was a really fun way to watch the Merlot matchup between OKC and Phoenix. So next year, I'm just going to bet the over on Shay points. But I like the Merlot matchup because we don't have NBA TV anymore. So we needed somebody to replace NBA TV.

• 1:34:22Speaker 02

  And it really only applies to round one, right? Because we're not going to have, every matchup in round two is going to be a delight, an absolute full, full on banger. Big, big Reds. We're going to Big Redland, aren't we?

• 1:34:33Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, well, Lakers, OKC, if Luca's not back, will be interesting to watch, but I.

• 1:34:40Speaker 02

  Isn't Reeves likely to be back? I understand.

• 1:34:43Bill Simmons?

  They're not beating OKC.

• 1:34:45Speaker 02

  No, they're not.

• 1:34:45Bill Simmons?

  They would need injuries on the OKC side. Braden from New Brunswick, Canada. Check the average Roger Goodell hug time for the first rounds of 2026 and 2015. And said, my instinct, which I said on Thursday that I thought the hugs were getting longer, is correct. In 26, the average hugs were four seconds. And 10 years later, they were two seconds. And he wonders if this doubles each decade going forward in 2036, eight second hugs. Now, he said this before, um, the guy who stayed in the green room the whole time didn't get picked, the nose tackle, and then got picked and came out a 19 second hug with Goodell.

• 1:35:29Bill Simmons?

  So that might've even bumped the hug number.

• 1:35:33Speaker 02

  Well, you know, that was emotional.

• 1:35:36Bill Simmons?

  The move is somebody should come out instead of going for the hug, just a firm handshake.

• 1:35:43Speaker 02

  A firm handshake.

• 1:35:43Bill Simmons?

  Like, almost refuse the hug. I, I just would like to give you a business-like handshake. Well, how would Goodell react? Would he pull the guy in Trump style and like just maul him? What would he do?

• 1:35:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, it feels like, I mean, cause Goodell isn't tiny. He's not, you know, he's doesn't, he's not dwarfed by these guys. I feel like, yeah, Goodell, he wouldn't, he wouldn't tolerate it. As soon as he gets your hand.

• 1:36:06Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he's putting you in, he's Trump, he's Trump hugging you.

• 1:36:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:36:11Bill Simmons?

  Listener.

• 1:36:12Speaker 02

  Why do we, why, why, why are the hugs longer though? What's the explanation for that?

• 1:36:17Bill Simmons?

  I don't know.

• 1:36:19Speaker 02

  Oh, I thought that's where we were headed on this whole.

• 1:36:22Bill Simmons?

  We know the hugs are twice as long as they were 10, 10 years ago. So why?

• 1:36:26Speaker 02

  Is it because Roger's more comfortable? He's like, I own all this shit. I, I, I am the man in charge.

• 1:36:34Bill Simmons?

  Let me ask you.

• 1:36:35Speaker 02

  You wanna hug me?

• 1:36:36Bill Simmons?

  Who have you hugged for more than two seconds in the last 10 years that was a friend of yours?

• 1:36:42Speaker 02

  I'm not at liberty to discuss this. I mean.

• 1:36:44Bill Simmons?

  What do you mean?

• 1:36:45Speaker 02

  A friend of mine?

• 1:36:45Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, a friend, a male friend.

• 1:36:47Speaker 02

  Uh, oh, I've had some very.

• 1:36:50Bill Simmons?

  When you saw the Holy Cross guys.

• 1:36:51Speaker 02

  Like Joey unhappy. Let me think about this.

• 1:36:54Bill Simmons?

  When you saw, when you saw Finney and the Holy Cross guys, did you have a four second hug with any of them?

• 1:36:58Speaker 02

  You go like this hug and then you go to the arm around each other, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. Yeah, those lasted.

• 1:37:03Bill Simmons?

  But you didn't go four second full body hug with anyone, right?

• 1:37:07Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no. Not, not, not, not, you know, not junk to junk.

• 1:37:11Bill Simmons?

  I think the guys, it's like, it's like the quick, quick hug and then the back slap.

• 1:37:15Speaker 02

  Handshake, you're tight and then, and then I like the arms around the shoulders.

• 1:37:18Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:19Speaker 02

  Stuff to chop it up on a little bit.

• 1:37:21Bill Simmons?

  Around the shoulder, like extends the hug, but it's not like a full, nobody goes genital to genital.

• 1:37:28Bill Simmons?

  Which, that was what, that was my favorite.

• 1:37:30Speaker 02

  Did he do that? Goodell didn't do that for four seconds with anybody?

• 1:37:33Bill Simmons?

  Full, straight on, like hugs.

• 1:37:37Bill Simmons?

  This is what, remember, this is my favorite NBA draft moment ever. Darius Miles and David Stern went full waist to waist general, general hug for some reason. And it's one of the funniest photos of all time.

• 1:37:48Speaker 02

  Let's get the clip. Let's run the clip.

• 1:37:50Bill Simmons?

  Listener Bill Dahl said, I am a Wizards season ticket holder.

• 1:37:55Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, Bill.

• 1:37:57Bill Simmons?

  My hot take is that LeBron is coming to DC this summer.

• 1:38:00Speaker 02

  And no, he's not.

• 1:38:01Bill Simmons?

  Here's the evidence. He was incredibly complimentary of the Wizards young core on Steve Nash's podcast. I like that he called it Steve Nash's podcast. It's LeBron and Steve Nash podcast. Number two, he was seen hanging out with Jaden Daniels post Lakers game. Number three, he's a good fit with Trey and Anthony Davis, his old buddy.

• 1:38:22Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:38:23Bill Simmons?

  It's LeBron's team, nobody's else. Number four, shifting the Michael LeBron narrative by actually winning in DC. Somewhere Michael couldn't even make the playoffs in.

• 1:38:34Speaker 02

  Ah, that's good. I like that.

• 1:38:35Bill Simmons?

  The go combo.

• 1:38:36Speaker 02

  Great job.

• 1:38:37Bill Simmons?

  Now that this has spoken to the ethos, it won't happen, but maybe those of us up in the 400s, we'll actually get some decent basketball here in the nation's capital. A guy can dream. I like the MJ angle. MJ finished here. I did too, and I made the conference finals with Anthony Davis and Trey Young. It is kind of fun.

• 1:38:57Speaker 02

  It wa- I mean, that team with him on it, they would be better than any team that MJ played with during MJ's era here.

• 1:39:03Bill Simmons?

  Can we talk it out for a second? So you'd have Trey Young, Anthony Davis, LeBron James, Alex Sar.

• 1:39:13Bill Simmons?

  And who's your shooting, who the shooting, it can't be Kula Bali, right?

• 1:39:16Speaker 02

  It would be Keyshawn George.

• 1:39:18Bill Simmons?

  Keyshawn George, yeah, we like him.

• 1:39:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. He's, he's good. We do, with, we like him with good reason.

• 1:39:23Bill Simmons?

  And a little Trey off the bench.

• 1:39:25Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:39:28Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. That could be talk myself into 45 wins.

• 1:39:32Speaker 02

  It's a, it's a low 40s. Yeah. To 45. It's, it's a, it could win, they could win around in the playoffs.

• 1:39:38Bill Simmons?

  His goal could be like, look, this, this LeBron versus MJ thing. I brought to the table. I've played way longer.

• 1:39:47Bill Simmons?

  I threw an alley-oop to my son in a playoff game. And now I've won around one series in Washington. I've done three things Michael Jordan couldn't do. Also, I was never maybe secretly suspended by David Stern because of gambling. So there's four.

• 1:40:01Speaker 02

  Great, great point.

• 1:40:02Bill Simmons?

  Speaking of conspiracies. This is from Peter L. Assume the conspiracy theory that the NBA draft lottery is rigged is real. And you've just been appointed the commissioner with these powers. How are you arranging the first four picks in the upcoming draft lottery?

• 1:40:19Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:40:21Bill Simmons?

  It's a great, great question.

• 1:40:22Speaker 02

  We had this conversation, what was it, a month ago?

• 1:40:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:26Speaker 02

  Who did we say was going to be the funniest to win?

• 1:40:29Bill Simmons?

  Well, Golden State.

• 1:40:31Speaker 02

  Oh, Golden State.

• 1:40:33Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. I'm gonna throw-

• 1:40:35Speaker 02

  Well, that's not the funniest. That, that's an actual genuine, like, that's a conspiracy.

• 1:40:40Bill Simmons?

  Well, that's what he's saying. So, all right. So I get the commissioner job. I'd obviously immediately hire you as my Mark Tatum. I'd let you announce all the second round picks. And now it asks the second round, Joe House.

• 1:40:54Bill Simmons?

  So the lottery teams we have, I'll just give you the top 12. Well, I'll give you all of them. Washington, this is in order of one to 14 for odds.

• 1:41:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:41:04Bill Simmons?

  So Washington, Indiana, and Brooklyn all have 14%. Utah, Sacramento, 11.5. Memphis, New Orleans, Dallas, Chicago, Milwaukee, Golden State. OKC, they're out. Not fixing anything for them. They're too good already. They don't need the, Miami and Charlotte. So if we're rigging this. Golden State has to be in the top four because it's our last chance to stay of Steph. So it's more a question of who is the best guy for him to play with. And I actually think it's Caleb Wilson.

• 1:41:32Speaker 02

  Wow. Okay.

• 1:41:34Bill Simmons?

  So I'm happy just putting them at four. So they end up with Caleb Wilson, even though I'm becoming increasingly concerned he could go, not for him, but for, for the Boozer family. I think he's gonna leapfrog Boozer. I think-

• 1:41:49Bill Simmons?

  His tape is too crazy. Like, I really think you'd have to, if we were in the room, I feel like we would spend enough time scouting these tapes and at some point, look at each other and be like, we gotta take Wilson. Like, this guy is a fucking freak.

• 1:42:03Speaker 02

  Man, I watched so much Boozer and he was so tough. I thought he was NBA ready every time I watched him play. I understand the limitations. I think there's a ceiling, right?

• 1:42:12Bill Simmons?

  He would, he is not the guy I would have for Golden State.

• 1:42:15Speaker 02

  That's totally fair. That makes tons of sense.

• 1:42:18Bill Simmons?

  All right, so we'll put Golden State four and we'll give them Wilson. So now we have three teams before. Can we, Charlotte has 2.4% odds, but can we have them jump to three and take Boozer?

• 1:42:31Speaker 02

  Oh, oh, wow. Wow. That's pretty good.

• 1:42:36Bill Simmons?

  LaMelo, Con, Bridges, Boozer, and, uh, and who am I leaving?

• 1:42:41Speaker 02

  That's pretty good.

• 1:42:42Bill Simmons?

  Who am I leaving out? Oh, and Brandon Miller. And then Diabate, that's a fun team.

• 1:42:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, Diabate, that's who I was thinking of.

• 1:42:49Bill Simmons?

  Atlanta at two, I was thinking because of, uh, Peterson, adding Peterson to what they have now as like the CJ McCollum understudy eventually moving in. It's not gonna matter if he doesn't have personality because that team has a lot of personalities already.

• 1:43:08Speaker 02

  The New Orleans pick, lands two.

• 1:43:09Bill Simmons?

  That'd be the New Orleans pick. Atlanta moves up. So I'm thinking them at two. And then number one, like, why not, why not Joe House? Why not Washington?

• 1:43:18Speaker 02

  Why not?

• 1:43:19Bill Simmons?

  You have DeBansa. Why not?

• 1:43:20Speaker 02

  I would definitely fix it for me. That goes without saying.

• 1:43:23Bill Simmons?

  But I think DeBansa, that's, it's, the most fun teams for him would be Washington or Utah for him to go in right away. And then in this scenario, the Clippers get the fifth pick and that would be really fun, too. And Indiana would not get any of the top four picks.

• 1:43:37Speaker 02

  Right, because five to nine, the Clippers keep it? Is that what it is?

• 1:43:40Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's basically five or six, they keep it. It can't go lower than six. Now, I do, I do love Indiana and I'd feel bad if they didn't get the pick, but. I don't know.

• 1:43:50Speaker 02

  Why did they put the protection on it then? They shouldn't have put that protection.

• 1:43:52Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, also, why did you give up all of that for Zubots? There's a lot.

• 1:43:57Speaker 02

  Zubots, I think is gonna be awesome on that.

• 1:43:59Bill Simmons?

  I know, but that's a top four pick in this draft.

• 1:44:02Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's fair.

• 1:44:04Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. Now that we're here and that they could actually lose the pick, this draft is fucking incredible.

• 1:44:10Speaker 02

  It's gonna be really good.

• 1:44:13Bill Simmons?

  The other one I was thinking.

• 1:44:14Speaker 02

  Clippers getting Acuff or something.

• 1:44:15Bill Simmons?

  Well, the other thing you could do, you put Indiana in that Darren Peterson spot at two.

• 1:44:22Bill Simmons?

  And then you put Atlanta fifth. And Atlanta gets our guy Acuff at five.

• 1:44:29Bill Simmons?

  Who I think the combination of Acuff and Atlanta, his name ends with first letters in A. There's like some A, double A stuff.

• 1:44:39Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:44:40Bill Simmons?

  His game in Atlanta.

• 1:44:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:44:42Bill Simmons?

  Could be really special. Yeah, like I feel like he'd be a hero in Atlanta pretty quickly.

• 1:44:47Speaker 02

  And they can run. I mean, they can definitely.

• 1:44:49Bill Simmons?

  So is that our answer for the fixing?

• 1:44:52Speaker 02

  Do it again. I, I, I'm, I think I agree.

• 1:44:54Bill Simmons?

  The banter.

• 1:44:54Speaker 02

  I know I agree with Washington number one.

• 1:44:55Bill Simmons?

  The banter one to Washington. Peterson to Indiana two. Boozer to Charlotte three.

• 1:45:03Bill Simmons?

  And then Golden State gets, gets Wilson at four.

• 1:45:09Speaker 02

  Atlanta at five.

• 1:45:11Bill Simmons?

  Atlanta at five takes Acuff.

• 1:45:13Speaker 02

  Acuff.

• 1:45:14Bill Simmons?

  And then there's one more team I wanted to take care of. Oh.

• 1:45:17Speaker 02

  We better go bet this.

• 1:45:18Bill Simmons?

  No, number six. Dallas has to get top six because they need to get either Acuff or, or Wogler from Illinois.

• 1:45:27Speaker 02

  I want, I want Dallas to fuck off. I'd like to invite the Dallas Mavericks.

• 1:45:31Bill Simmons?

  Oh, their fans are like so traumatized. Come on.

• 1:45:34Speaker 02

  I understand. This isn't, they, they, they already.

• 1:45:36Bill Simmons?

  All right, so that'll be our top five.

• 1:45:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:45:39Bill Simmons?

  Okay. All right. Good question. Glad we talked that one out. Corey writes in, "I'm 25 years old from the Bay Area and a lifelong Warriors fan. Trying to come to grips with the fact that Steph Curry will be retiring sooner than later. My basketball life will be changed forever unless the expendables happens. I imagine this is similar to how you felt when Larry Bird was nearing the end of his career. What advice do you have for coping with the loss of one of the greats?" House was in my place a couple of times in the mid 90s when I would break out old Bird Celtics tapes because the Celtics were so depressing, it was all I had to go back and watch old playoff games. And honestly, Corey, welcome to your future. If it gets super depressing with the Warriors, all you have are the old tapes and reliving Curry games.

• 1:46:22Bill Simmons?

  And I had a two and a half foot bong at the time. That was really helpful.

• 1:46:28Speaker 02

  You did. That's true.

• 1:46:29Bill Simmons?

  To get super baked and watch old Celtic games and pretend they're happening live. I've talked about that, but that would be my advice. That's, that's what the post Curry era, because you're never, it's just never going to happen again. This is once in a generation, you get somebody like that. You're never.

• 1:46:43Speaker 02

  And, and you know, you, you look at it so fondly. You say, "I can't believe I was so lucky to, to enjoy that." And you, in the same way that Corey's being prepared, I mean, Steph is missing big chunks of, of regular seasons now.

• 1:46:55Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:56Speaker 02

  And, and you know, Bird was, was so broken at the end.

• 1:47:00Bill Simmons?

  Right. We, we knew. Yeah, we knew. We knew.

• 1:47:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:47:03Bill Simmons?

  Paul and Los, I got a few people who mentioned, and this has been on the internet, two, Tatum, Halliburton, Lillard and DiVincenzo. All had the number zero. It all tore their Achilles.

• 1:47:13Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:47:15Bill Simmons?

  Do you have to be?

• 1:47:15Speaker 02

  Agent zero from, did not.

• 1:47:18Bill Simmons?

  Do you have to be crazy at this point to have number zero? Is this like a jinx number? Would you change your number if you were a zero at this point?

• 1:47:25Speaker 02

  You know, I was, I was making the joke about Gilbert Arenas as agent zero, but he did have a debilitating leg injury.

• 1:47:31Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. What's up with zero?

• 1:47:33Speaker 02

  And the Wizards did give him a giant, uh, extension anyway.

• 1:47:38Bill Simmons?

  Are there any more zeros right now?

• 1:47:41Speaker 02

  I mean, the answer is definitely yes.

• 1:47:42Bill Simmons?

  Oh, no. Tyrese Maxey's a zero.

• 1:47:44Speaker 02

  Oh, offseason number change. We need it.

• 1:47:47Bill Simmons?

  Jalen Durin, Christian Brown, Kula Bali on your team? I'm just out on zero. Don't get rid of the zero. We've seen too much damage at this point.

• 1:48:00Bill Simmons?

  Kelly from Iowa, I know you'd like this one. Kelly from Iowa wants to know, can we please have Baby Doll get Waymo to sponsor Tiger Woods? Come on, baby. Who loses here? I love the idea of Baby Doll taking on Tiger Woods as a client.

• 1:48:14Bill Simmons?

  And trying to keep it low and making, just calling different people in his life and making it seem like you're the only person he's told. And meanwhile, he would tell 150 people in five hours.

• 1:48:24Speaker 02

  Everybody would know and there'd be pictures of Tiger in a Waymo.

• 1:48:28Bill Simmons?

  I do like, why couldn't Waymo offer Tiger like $50 million to be the first Waymo sponsor? It's actually a great idea.

• 1:48:36Speaker 02

  That, that is, is kind of brilliant. I mean, you know, we have to get to the point where we can have a little bit of a chuckle, maybe? I mean, it's tough to have a sense of humor.

• 1:48:46Bill Simmons?

  We obviously just reached it right now. Like, let's, let's a little Waymo sponsor for him.

• 1:48:52Bill Simmons?

  Chase from Kent, Ohio. I didn't know about this. Said that Cavs had a social media playoff theme in 2026 that they called Be The Fucking Difference for their fans.

• 1:49:04Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:49:04Bill Simmons?

  But they blotted out all the letters in fucking and just kept the C. So the T-shirts read Be The C Diff.

• 1:49:14Bill Simmons?

  And then apparently C diff is the shorthand for Clostridias difficile, which is a bacterial infection, severe watery diarrhea, abdominal pain. One of the most known treatments is mixing your poop with the poop if someone you share bacteria with.

• 1:49:30Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 1:49:31Bill Simmons?

  Is hit to a dried up poop pellet they put in your stomach. I'm not even joking. Wants to know where does this stand in your pyramid of poop jokes?

• 1:49:41Bill Simmons?

  How could the Cavs win the title with the postseason theme of be the C diff? And would anything funny have ever happened? You know, it'd actually be funnier is if they got bounced in round one. After be the C diff became a thing. Yeah, this is apparently, this is a thing that happened.

• 1:49:57Speaker 02

  This is is amazing. Poor Cleveland deserves, the fans deserve better. Now, they did have LeBron for all the time that they had.

• 1:50:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they did win the LeBron lottery.

• 1:50:07Speaker 02

  But, you know.

• 1:50:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. So if you, if you Google this.

• 1:50:15Bill Simmons?

  Be the C diff, I can't believe they did that. How did they not Google that?

• 1:50:20Bill Simmons?

  Mitch from Carlsbad wants to know, you and Zach touched upon Kevin Durant's complicated legacy a bit on Sunday. Too often, his Olympic performances aren't discussed, and they should be. He was often the best player on the floor. He'd be dink for a lot of things, including leadership skills, lack of the same team jumping. But I do think his Olympic performances should be mentioned. You agree with this?

• 1:50:40Speaker 02

  Totally agree with this. And, and the same goes for, for Mello. Like, part of what, uh, you know, when, when those guys play with their peers and their peers find them and their peers, you know, revere the, the performance at that level. Uh, and let them, you know, sort of take over the way that they have. That, that to me just says so much about, um, you know, who that player is in their era.

• 1:51:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:06Speaker 02

  And so KD's ability to do it across, what is it? Five golds? Is that what he ended up with? That, that, that is something that needs to be mentioned. It's a top line on the resume for me.

• 1:51:18Speaker 02

  One of the top four lines on the resume.

• 1:51:21Bill Simmons?

  Maybe his legacy is he couldn't plan the bachelor party. And he might've been a wild card at the bachelor party. But there's a bunch of different scenarios where he would have been really fun at the bachelor party.

• 1:51:33Speaker 02

  The MVP of the bachelor party.

• 1:51:34Bill Simmons?

  He might've been the MVP of the bachelor party, didn't plan it, didn't pick the location. You had to kind of fight for him to get there, but then he was tremendous for two straight days.

• 1:51:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, elevated everybody, elevated the whole thing.

• 1:51:45Bill Simmons?

  But if you put him in charge, it might not have gone great.

• 1:51:48Speaker 02

  Sure, that's fair. We've all got friends like that.

• 1:51:52Bill Simmons?

  We'll never go to a bachelor party again. We, we don't know.

• 1:51:55Speaker 02

  Says, who says who?

• 1:51:56Bill Simmons?

  I don't, we'd have to have somebody our age divorce.

• 1:51:59Speaker 02

  Second marriage? Yeah.

• 1:52:00Bill Simmons?

  Is the second marriage, do second marriage people have a bachelor party?

• 1:52:04Speaker 02

  I sure hope so. I haven't been invited to one, but I would go.

• 1:52:09Bill Simmons?

  Chris wants to know, is Ime Udoka getting himself fired the most underrated key to Boston's continued success? I can only imagine how quickly he would have mentally broken and buried Cato, Walsh, and Sharman, and how the Celtics offense would look with Chris Boucher and Xavier Tillman standing around while Tatum and Brown played iso ball. The Rockets are a bad sequel to the 22 Celtics in the finals. Now, I don't think that's totally fair because they did make the finals. They did have some good wins. The offense was really rough and we blamed Tatum and Brown a lot and now we're watching the Rockets basically do the exact same thing. Game four, as Zach and I talked about on Sunday, was the first time they actually were like, hey, we should maybe attack Luke Kennard and spread out. And it was pretty bad. What was your Ime take?

• 1:52:53Speaker 02

  Well, I honestly, the longer this has gone on, I'm subscribing to the theory that there is, there is some dysfunction in the, in the decision-making. Guys are not all on the same page inside the building at Houston. Because the Reed Shepard bit is inexplicable. Our guy, Raheem Palmer, has been loudly, all season long, saying, you've got to get Shepard his minutes. It doesn't matter whether, you know, how you feel about his, his contribution. He needs to be ready for right now because Houston, for whatever reason, thought they could, they could play this season without a point guard. I do want to go back, by the way, you guys, you and Zach, on Sunday's show, entirely appropriately

• 1:53:37Speaker 02

  giving CJ McCollum his flowers. You, me, and Zach sat in your studio and I said, hey, Houston, go get CJ mother effing McCollum.

• 1:53:46Bill Simmons?

  You did.

• 1:53:47Speaker 02

  These are gonna be available.

• 1:53:48Bill Simmons?

  Before the season.

• 1:53:49Speaker 02

  October.

• 1:53:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:53:51Speaker 02

  October of 2025. And look at this guy in the playoffs. But be that as it may, Ime to me, like, even as early as November, you're watching end of game sequences and it didn't make sense who was getting the ball. It didn't make sense the way the rotations were, were playing. I feel like there's something going on inside that building where personnel and, and Ime are not on the same page.

• 1:54:15Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I would look at it when you're talking about point guards that you know you're going to need in the playoffs. It's almost like scuba diving. Where you need to get you X amount of hours to become an official scuba diver that can go 100 feet under the sea or whatever it is. I don't scuba dive as you can tell, but it's like you can't do this until you've had this number of hours of instruction and now you're finally allowed to go below this level.

• 1:54:41Speaker 02

  Your body's got to acclimate to the pressure.

• 1:54:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, to me, it's like, I know it's probably going to be frustrating at that fun to play this guy 25 to 30 minutes a game, but you're going to have to do it because in April, this is going to be your one chance to do anything because Fred Van Bleet's not coming back.

• 1:54:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:54:56Bill Simmons?

  The crazier thing, though, is that they didn't trade for DeSousa or Kobe White. I just don't understand the thinking of that at all. I mean, the Pistons, too. We said this at the time when the Pistons were like, Kevin Herter, we're good. It's like, you're not necessarily good.

• 1:55:11Speaker 02

  Doesn't feel like enough.

• 1:55:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Last question. This is from Chris Kraus, who, for some reason, was thinking of car-centric movies that I could parody with Con Conipple. Feel free to add your own, he said, but here are the ones he came up with. Driving Miss Daisy. Instead of solving racism, Bill teaches Khan the value of 1980s pop culture and why being on his phone less than allowing himself to be bored is good. Speed. Instead of having to keep the car at a set mile an hour, Bill and Khan have to keep podcasting. What will run out first, their gas or list of topics? And then his last one, Collateral. Bill already has the silver haired look, so he's obviously the Tom Cruise assassin, but in this scenario, it's Khan realizing Bill is driving to the houses of his least favorite

• 1:55:55Bill Simmons?

  internet trolls. Close shot of Khan looking terrified as Bill beats a keyboard warrior to death with a copy of the Book of Basketball. If any of these are made, I only recruit producer credit. House? Yep, these are my listeners. This guy wants me to remake Collateral with Con Conipple where I beat people to death with a Book of Basketball that trolled me on the internet. Pretty phenomenal. I don't know where these, I don't know where these questions come from, but I love all of them.

• 1:56:26Bill Simmons?

  Great job Kraus. How did, how, uh, before we go, how do you feel about Sonny Stiles? You happy? Oh, I'm over the moon. I, I just couldn't believe that he fell to seven for this. Well, I mean, this is why I'm out here repping, uh, the squad. I think what Washington did on defense and Stiles is a perfect fit for our new, uh, defensive coordinator, the guy from, from Minnesota. He's so versatile. He's so fast. He's so athletic. It's going to be a great fit. Um, he's already, you know, but the team has already embraced him. Amazing job. Two, two things dear to your heart, where he was the only one that noticed a hundred dollars at the end of the playbook allegedly and mailed it back. Great story. Whether it's true or not. Whether it's true or not, great story. And then unbelievable high school basketball mixtape.

• 1:57:10Bill Simmons?

  Oh, outrageous. You love nothing more than that. The football player, high school mixtape. On repeat. I was, well, I made myself. Drake May had one, you went nuts and you didn't even pitch Drake May.

• 1:57:22Bill Simmons?

  But that, I mean, you know, that, that, that gives your, your, your brain like, oh, he could do all of these things. Look at this. It's great. I really, if I was in the war room, I would really factor that in. The high school basketball mixtape, like, look how generous he is with the ball and his teammates like this. Maybe he'll be this way as a teammate. It counts. It counts. I mean, hoops like you is not a small thing. All right. House, thanks for doing the mailbag with me. I appreciate it. Always a pleasure. Thank you for inviting me. See you on Fairway Roland and on the Ringer Gambling Show as well. If you want to check out more house. Happy playoffs. All right. That's it for the podcast. Thanks to House and CR. Thanks Eduardo and Gahow as well. Don't forget Ghostbusters. That is the new rewatchables and

• 1:58:04Bill Simmons?

  it's up and you can listen to it and you have six days to watch. There's Something About Mary because that's going to be the next one. Um, I will see you on this feed on Thursday night. God only knows what's going to happen with the basketball these next couple of nights, but we will have a big, action packed podcast on Thursday, probably taping at least the first part of it right after the game. So I will see you on Thursday. Go Suns.

• 1:58:46Bill Simmons?

  Must be 21 plus and present in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino, or 18 plus and present in DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming. Opting for a bonus issued as non-d withdrawable profit boost tokens. Restrictions apply, including any token expiration, max wager amount. See terms at sportsbook.founder.com. Game problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or 1-800-MYRESSET. Call 888-797777 or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut, or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplineMA.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24/7 support in Massachusetts, or call 8778HOPENY, or text HOPENY in New York. For Louisiana, call 877-770-7867.