Chain Restaurants Edition w/ Kippy & Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon about Chain Restaurants! It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Helix Sleep: Go to https://helixsleep.com/garbage for 20% Off Sitewide Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/garbage Aura Frames: Exclusive $20-off Carver Mat at https://AuraFrames.com. Use code GARBAGE at checkout to save Truewerk: Check out the full lineup and get 15 percent off your first order at https://TRUEWERK.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Again, we want to thank everybody for all the love and support on the Route 66 special. It is out now. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and check it out.

• 0:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, and the Back on the Block Tour starts this week. Tickets still available for Pontiac, Michigan, March 8th. March 11th, Milwaukee Improv. And then March 14th, Minneapolis, Minnesota at the Fillmore. Get your tickets on barbecue.com. We'll see you there.

• 0:20Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:40H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:46Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:46H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they have to be classy.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:51H. Foley?

  Except they're just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:53Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:54H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new addition. Beautiful spring day. Tooties got the screen windows put in.

• 1:02Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:02H. Foley?

  A lot of holes in those things. If you know what I mean.

• 1:05Speaker 01

  Couple of crack pipes.

• 1:06H. Foley?

  Couple of crack pipes, some fucking bowls, whatever she's doing with them. It's like a tic-tac-toe board in there.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:14H. Foley?

  Like Weevil's got at them or something.

• 1:16Speaker 01

  And Ooh's got it.

• 1:18H. Foley?

  My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman. He's my best pal in the whole wide world. Let me tell you this right now, when you're reaching for a best pal, do yourself a favor, you make it a kippy. Give it up for Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:33Speaker 01

  What up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe. Rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available on Spotify. Go over there, leave your little comments. We're climbing the charts over there.

• 1:45H. Foley?

  Climbing the charts over there on Spotify. I don't want to dig it.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  I know. Kids are cooking.

• 1:49H. Foley?

  Tell that Mel Robbins to step aside. The boys are in town.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  Uh, then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, you get all your bonus content, gang.

• 1:58H. Foley?

  And of course, the Route 66 Tour.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  Go check out the special, baby.

• 2:01H. Foley?

  You'll love it.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  If you've ever wondered if you're a part of the army of garbage, go watch that. And if that don't punch you right in the dick, I don't know what does. You ain't my kind of guy.

• 2:11H. Foley?

  You'll laugh, you'll cry. I think there's no smell of vision on this thing.

• 2:17H. Foley?

  Let me tell you this.

• 2:18Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:19H. Foley?

  Let me take you back. It's a Friday night.

• 2:23H. Foley?

  Say you're in about 8th grade.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  I'm listening.

• 2:25H. Foley?

  You spent the afternoon in class. Probably got a little swamp ass. You get home.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  I'm listening.

• 2:31H. Foley?

  Probably had some cigarettes.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Eighth.

• 2:33H. Foley?

  Right? Probably smoking some heaters.

• 2:35Speaker 01

  Wait, in school?

• 2:37H. Foley?

  Waiting for the, I don't know what you do.

• 2:38Speaker 01

  Now, we-

• 2:39H. Foley?

  Under the bleachers, out by the woods.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  Now, that was, heaters were still weekend. I was a weekend warrior when it came to heaters at that age.

• 2:46H. Foley?

  Maybe you looked at your nudie mags or whatever.

• 2:48Speaker 01

  Nah, we had the internet.

• 2:49H. Foley?

  Denise gets home from work.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 2:51H. Foley?

  Nothing's in the fridge.

• 2:53Speaker 01

  Sure, that sounds about right.

• 2:54H. Foley?

  You got three hungry kids. What does she say? Load up the bravado. We're going out to Applebee's.

• 3:02Speaker 01

  Shout out to Applebee's on Street Road, uh, down there, Street Road in like Knoll's Ave or something like.

• 3:09H. Foley?

  Oooh.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Feast, I'm talking Feasterville. Not down, not down there with the dirt bags at the opposite end.

• 3:13H. Foley?

  Wash your hands, clean the boogers out of your nose.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  No, so this was it-

• 3:17H. Foley?

  Start your LimeWire download before you leave.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  This was, this was it for, uh, uh, we were an Applebee's family, so at this point, 8th grade, 7th, 8th grade, whatever. My brother and sister were kinda gone. My sister's in college at that point. My brother's going to a school in Philadelphia, so he's, he was-

• 3:35H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 3:36Speaker 01

  He was just kinda loosey goose. He's living with my aunt, not living with my aunt, living with, living with, living with the rich kids.

• 3:41H. Foley?

  Is that what he was doing? He was that, he went to Episcopal, right?

• 3:45Speaker 01

  He went to Penn Charter.

• 3:46H. Foley?

  Very good schools if you don't know.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  A couple of strings had to be pulled to get him in there. I think he had to repeat two or three years. He did.

• 3:55H. Foley?

  Only 21 year old in 10th grade?

• 3:57Speaker 01

  He doubled up on 10th grade or something. He's ahead of his time.

• 4:00H. Foley?

  I didn't know that.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  What?

• 4:02H. Foley?

  Wow, that he was, you were, man, you are trash.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  What?

• 4:05H. Foley?

  You were do, he was down there staying with an aunt?

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Well, my aunt lived in Jersey, but her kids also went there.

• 4:11H. Foley?

  Right.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  I don't know how they all got in there.

• 4:14H. Foley?

  Good lord.

• 4:15Speaker 01

  Uh, but, so they all stayed together.

• 4:17H. Foley?

  That's a, that's a premium Philadelphia school district.

• 4:20Speaker 01

  Academy.

• 4:21H. Foley?

  Academy?

• 4:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:22H. Foley?

  Is that a Friends school?

• 4:24Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 4:24H. Foley?

  Never understood what that was.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  No, it's a Quaker school. Maybe the Quakers are friends.

• 4:27H. Foley?

  Yikes. They used to creep me out.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Start fucking, start brainwashing you.

• 4:32H. Foley?

  When we went there, I knew that place was haunted. Wherever we went, like, uh, you know, Abington Friends or whatever it was. Mm mm, I'm not going to that locker room.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Buddy, I ain't taking my underwear off around here. You gonna get me.

• 4:43H. Foley?

  God damn, the nut will get me.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  But at that point, I'm by myself. It's me, my mom. My mom comes home from work, pearly.

• 4:52H. Foley?

  Was there ever a situation?

• 4:53Speaker 01

  It's a rainy, it's a rainy spring night. We're in, we're probably, at this point, we're probably in the Sebring. I had a little bit of a leak in that, I gotta be honest with you.

• 5:03H. Foley?

  Sebring convertible.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  Sebring convertible. Uh, her midlife crisis car.

• 5:09Speaker 01

  Uh, she let my brother, she let my, yeah, my stepdad's in the picture, but she let my brother negotiate that deal when he was about 13 years old, not even joking. They were driving by, he goes, "Let's go look at that." He, he, we went in and he's like, "Listen, we'll do like five, we'll do five, roll this over."

• 5:24H. Foley?

  He's out there kicking the tires, his pen charter uniform on.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  Beating the kid up on price. Um, my stepdad worked down around the street road, that's where his shop was. So, we would go, "Oh, Joe's wrapping up at the shop. It's Friday night, they're each looking for some cocktails, I'm looking for some chicken tendies."

• 5:44H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 5:44Speaker 01

  Where does that happen? Eat and go to the neighborhood, shout out the Applebee's.

• 5:48H. Foley?

  Now, if you weren't in the picture.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 5:50H. Foley?

  Say you drowned in a pool or something like that.

• 5:52Speaker 01

  Applebee's, not the booth.

• 5:53H. Foley?

  They'd be out enjoying themselves.

• 5:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:55H. Foley?

  But they got you, third wheeling it.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 5:58H. Foley?

  Gunning up the works.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  Yeah? I mean, that was a lot of birthdays there, a lot of times just me and my mom, or me and my mom, my stepdad, just there. Just, just there, that was the first time I-

• 6:09H. Foley?

  Signature cocktails.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  Nah, that was Absolut and Tonics, doubles, big glass, big glass.

• 6:16H. Foley?

  Holy shit.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  What?

• 6:17H. Foley?

  That's, what do you mean, what? What me? Also too-

• 6:22Speaker 01

  My stepdad was an Absolut and tonic man.

• 6:24H. Foley?

  Also too-

• 6:25Speaker 01

  What?

• 6:25H. Foley?

  Which I respect the Absolut, Absolut hit hard. Everybody loved Absolut.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  The merch alone, you were fucking all over.

• 6:33H. Foley?

  And then Absolut Citron, oh my god, Absolut. Then it all fell apart with Pinnacle and fucking, uh, what was the one, the cotton candy one, was that Pinnacle?

• 6:41Speaker 01

  I think that was Pinnacle, yeah, the Pinnacle had all the different-

• 6:44H. Foley?

  Three olives?

• 6:45Speaker 01

  Uh, shout out Three Olives. I remember, we had it, we had a bottle of, we had a bottle of Absolut Pepper.

• 6:52H. Foley?

  When the coke's all gone. When you're out of salt, hit the pepper.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  I remember taking a nip at that one time. Must have been about 12 years. Woo, man. Felt like a bang bang. Felt like I was doing a line of, a line of coke and gunpowder.

• 7:07H. Foley?

  What, isn't that what they do?

• 7:08Speaker 01

  In order to war.

• 7:11Speaker 01

  A bang bang, I think.

• 7:12H. Foley?

  Some Somalis are doing over there.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Get all hopped up. Shout out to Coney.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  Joseph Coney. He got the child warriors all hopped up on bang bangs.

• 7:27H. Foley?

  A pair of sweats and an AK, look at that.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  Uh huh. But a lot of my time, we were, we were there and then they would go out, I've said this before, they would go out on their anniversary or birthdays. They would go to App, they'd go to Outback and the kids couldn't go.

• 7:38H. Foley?

  Sure. Which we were never really, other than a few times with the family, my parents looked at those places as more expensive for some reason, which I didn't get. They never, I think maybe when they, when the, the rib deal was going on at Chili's or whatever, maybe they took advantage of that. But either my dad didn't trust them. He liked the Denny's. We'd do a Denny's, we'd do a Ponderosa, do a ground round, the first, you know, incarnation of, of the casual dining chain spot. But I do have to say this, when you're going to an Applebee's on a Friday night as a family and there's two separate cars, buddy, that's bad.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:23H. Foley?

  He's out there in the world. Then you leave, go into the, because for me as a kid, walking out of that place, go to the parking lot.

• 8:30Speaker 01

  Never thought about it that way.

• 8:31H. Foley?

  I'll see you guys at home. And he goes and gets in his car and you get in the car with your mom or vice versa.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Yeah. I never thought about it that way.

• 8:40H. Foley?

  That wasn't happening at the Dempsey household.

• 8:42Speaker 03

  Happened like four times.

• 8:44Speaker 01

  Uh, but I mean.

• 8:45H. Foley?

  You're telling your parents for getting divorced, probably.

• 8:47Speaker 01

  That, it was, yeah. So that, my first time had barbecue chicken done right, I blew my fucking hair back. Also, I remember the first, we were a big Pizza Hut family too. Shout out to Pizza, Pizza Hut, the, the, the sit down. I'd go there with my mom. That was the first time.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  But that was my mom's go-to. That was like celebrations. That was the first place I ever had ice cream on a hot brownie. And I told everybody. The duality of temperatures blew my fucking hair back.

• 11:33H. Foley?

  They call it "à la mode."

• 11:35Speaker 01

  Is that what that means?

• 11:36H. Foley?

  À la mode.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  I always thought that had to do with-

• 11:38H. Foley?

  French almonds. For a fat ass kid.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  No, it was my birthday. And man, I remember dipping in like it, the spoon melted the ice cream a little. And I remember being like, "I'll give it a shot."

• 11:50H. Foley?

  The melted ice cream?

• 11:51Speaker 01

  Ohhh. It-

• 11:54H. Foley?

  Woo!

• 11:55Speaker 01

  I thought only they did it. I was like, "You guys gotta get down to Applebee's in Feasterville."

• 12:01H. Foley?

  They are- This ain't on the news.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. I didn't know that was like at restaurants. Cause we were in a dessert family. I was just, it was my birthday or something. I got it.

• 12:09H. Foley?

  That's why they're great. They just took the extra stuff. You get a brownie and ice cream at home, your mom, unless they're coming out of the oven, she's not gonna take the brownie and put it in a bowl, pop it in the microwave for a couple of, you know, for 20 seconds to get it warm and then throw a dollop of-

• 12:22Speaker 01

  She's Chef Ramsay, maybe. And he fucking, Denise was not doing that.

• 12:26H. Foley?

  Man, that's alright.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  I was, "Woo wee." I was, I mean like, I didn't, also didn't find out chain restaurants, and obviously when we say trashy, obviously they're a maze. I love them. We go to them on the road. I was at a cheese, I was at a Cheesecake Factory, which I wouldn't lump into that, but people do.

• 12:47H. Foley?

  Cheesecake Factory, you said?

• 12:48Speaker 01

  I just, I had it.

• 12:49H. Foley?

  Gentlemen.

• 12:49Speaker 01

  I had it yesterday in North Jersey.

• 12:51H. Foley?

  You did?

• 12:52Speaker 01

  I did.

• 12:52H. Foley?

  Whoa!

• 12:54Speaker 01

  I had to convince my wi- well, she's been there, but she had forgot. I don't know how you forget the Factory. And I was like, "Yeah, it's great. They got a lot of good things." Meanwhile, I knew I was getting that chicken parm sandwich and-

• 13:04H. Foley?

  You heard that work whistle? Woo! Let's go punching at the Factory.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  Got my hard hat on. 1820 calories out the door.

• 13:11H. Foley?

  Dude, the iced tea's 1800. I, dude, you get unsweetened iced tea there, it's 4,000 calories.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 13:18H. Foley?

  So they gotta get rid of all that shit, putting that in our faces.

• 13:21Speaker 01

  They should all that.

• 13:22H. Foley?

  Try to have a good time.

• 13:23Speaker 01

  Um, I, I would lump that in. I didn't find out Applebee's was tra- you know, not considered high class.

• 13:30H. Foley?

  Well, here's the thing, I'm trying to cut you off-

• 13:31Speaker 01

  Until my boy Flip, his parents were a little more culture. Like, a little more, I would call them artsy douchebags.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  Remember his dad liked jazz. I was like, what the fuck dude? What is he, what is he back in time? What do you mean he likes jazz?

• 13:48H. Foley?

  Where do the lyrics kick in?

• 13:51H. Foley?

  It's got no hook on it dude. This shit stinks.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  Does he not know any Stones? This guy stinks.

• 13:56H. Foley?

  Jazz to a kid might as well be a stun gun.

• 13:58Speaker 01

  But he was like, we gonna, he just said it in passing one time. Yeah, it was like fucking Applebee's or whatever. I was like, whoa. That, it was, I heard it in passing that it wa-

• 14:07H. Foley?

  Who's getting married?

• 14:08Speaker 01

  It wasn't considered good, no.

• 14:10H. Foley?

  Well, at, for a minute, they, I mean, not for a minute, for a while, they were. I mean, that was, you know what I mean? That was it.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  That was, the nicest places we would go were just chain restaurants. You know, a Fridays out there or wherever. Or we would do like Philly at that point had a couple, in northeast Philly, there was a couple independent ones. They were like bars, but their version of like a TGI Fridays.

• 14:35H. Foley?

  I know the guy that kinda started that stuff in Philly. For a long time in Philly, it was either, you know, like a diner or it was a really nice, uh, like, you know, like a, like a five star restaurant. What's, what's the French joint that was down there? You remember that French place?

• 14:49Speaker 01

  Le Bozo.

• 14:50H. Foley?

  Something like that. Le Bec Fin.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  Le Bec Fin.

• 14:52H. Foley?

  It was like, it was like that.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  I always thought they just serve, uh, like sharks and stuff there. Like, I thought it was like high end seafood. It had fin in the name. That's all, buddy. They didn't have, they, they were, they were serving fish.

• 15:05H. Foley?

  They got me eating walrus.

• 15:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was like, nah dude.

• 15:08H. Foley?

  Yeah. And then the, the, you know, the, the, the smaller casual dining places started popping up. But that wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for the big chains.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  They, they were the trailblazers.

• 15:17H. Foley?

  Goddamn Fridays, Chili's, Ponderosa.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 15:21H. Foley?

  Give me a break.

• 15:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. We, we have all, one of our, one of my favorite meals ever was with you at a, at Altoona, Pennsylvania or whatever.

• 15:28H. Foley?

  Altoona, cold day in Altoona.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  The very weekend where Are You Garbage started.

• 15:33H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  On that ride home. I was making fun of you for drinking milk with dinner, but we had to cross like five lanes of highway to get to a fucking, uh, empty, empty Fridays.

• 15:44H. Foley?

  An oasis.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  Empty. It was empty.

• 15:46H. Foley?

  In the middle of a desert.

• 15:47Speaker 01

  And we, I remember putting, I go, you wanna do a, I had to do a sampler. And, man, sampler to start? Hey, man, talk of Le Bec Fin who?

• 15:58H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  Shout out to TGI.

• 15:59H. Foley?

  I remember the nap I took after that. I eat sugar coma. Seepy time.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  Jack Daniels barbecue sauce. Uh, alright, but let's get into it. So obviously, we're talking, um, chain restaurants, casual dining. I'm talking your, everything from your Chi Chi's to your Applebee's to your Friday.

• 16:18H. Foley?

  Fried ice cream.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  Ponderosa Grill, whatever that was for you, because some of them are regional, obviously.

• 16:23H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 16:23Speaker 01

  And in some of the smaller, more rural areas, these are like the restaurants. Like you gotta drive 30, 40 minutes to get to the Applebee's and they're throwing out the best food.

• 16:33H. Foley?

  Catch a wait too.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  And most consistent.

• 16:35H. Foley?

  Catch a wait.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  Catch a wait. I remember I used to get, I used to get the pager.

• 16:38H. Foley?

  Get the pager.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  Get the pager. Jesus Christ. We were big. My dad would pull up, someone run in and put our name in. And that was, you always felt like you were like a forward operating, like marine team.

• 16:50H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  He'd how you'd like roll out of the car and still be moving. Let me get five for smoking under Dan.

• 16:55H. Foley?

  You know where the Foley's didn't do well?

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Everywhere.

• 16:58H. Foley?

  Waiting, waiting for your table in the vestibule, going into the restaurant where the benches were.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  Two kids fighting.

• 17:06H. Foley?

  Talk about, get over here, move, get away.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  There was always a good family across from you, where they were like holding their kids back from you. Like, oh no, don't look at these. Me and my dude Danny had me in a headlock, I'm crying.

• 17:17H. Foley?

  Chasing a gumball on the floor. Yeah. Bad news.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  Asking for change.

• 17:22H. Foley?

  At any moment, dinner could be ruined. Until we got to the table, and even at the table, all it took was one knocked over Shirley Temple and it was gonna be a bad night.

• 17:32Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 17:32H. Foley?

  I don't know if my dad ever had a peaceful, enjoyable meal until I was in college. Then we, then we like, he liked going out to dinner. We'd go down to Ralph's down in Philly, get on the muscles, all that shit. Ruin his shirt.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 17:45H. Foley?

  But up until that, it was just, yeah.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:48H. Foley?

  Chaos could break out at any moment.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  I know. What are you doing?

• 17:51H. Foley?

  Helix, helix, helix, baby.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  Woo hoo.

• 17:53H. Foley?

  Kippy, let's talk about Helix mattresses. I know you got one, I got one, gang. Do yourself a favor. Get over to Helix, take the quiz, find out how you sleep, get a little information. How long does a quiz take, you ask?

• 18:05Speaker 01

  I don't know, probably was it an hour?

• 18:07H. Foley?

  Two, three minutes, man.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  That's why they're good.

• 18:09H. Foley?

  Find out whether you sleep on your side, on your back. Are you a heavy sleeper? Are you a light sleeper? Do you sleep hot? Do you sleep cold? Find all that stuff out. They match up with the perfect mattress for you. Helix, the last mattress you're ever gonna have.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, before I had a Helix mattress, I used to wake up. My wife would wake up. I'd be at the end of the bed like a, like an old detective with a case hanging. I couldn't sleep. Well, I don't sleep great. Helix is the only good sleep I can get. If I'm on the road, I get bad sleep because I'm not in my Helix. I gotta get home and get to the Helix, baby. Everybody knows that. It's, uh, it's the best sleep I had in my life. And when I'm not in my Helix, I, boy, do I miss it.

• 18:43H. Foley?

  And he is cranky.

• 18:44Speaker 01

  Some other guy is. Go to helixsleep.com/garbage for 20% off site wide, baby. That's 20% off site wide at helixsleep.com/garbage. One more time, 20% off site wide. Helixsleep.com/garbage. Do it.

• 18:57H. Foley?

  Get what's on about Shopify?

• 18:58Speaker 01

  Shout out to Shopify, baby.

• 19:00H. Foley?

  Are you Shopify family here?

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Why do you ask me stupid questions? Of course we're a Shopify family.

• 19:05H. Foley?

  When you go to our website, what's the checkout? Is it Shopify?

• 19:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's why everything goes smoothly because Shopify is running point on it, daddy-o.

• 19:12H. Foley?

  We know we got a lot of hustlers out there. We know we got a lot of guys trying to get some projects off the ground. They're selling this, they're selling that, but they want to make it their main, main, main gig. Shopify can help you do that.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, uh, before Shopify, we were using some bozo ass company. I forget what it was, but everything was getting jammed up. I was, this order was getting lost. Hey, I never got this. I never got that. Things weren't being completed. Hey, I paid you. I didn't get a receipt. This whole nine yards. Shopify, I ain't had to worry about nothing since. Uh, so upgrade your business and get the same exact checkout that we're using over there at areyougarbage.com. You can sign up, uh, for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com/garbage. All lowercase, by the way. Go to Shopify.com/garbage to upgrade your selling today. One more time, get a pen, get a pencil, upgrade your, listen, if they get, they're, they're, they're the biggest seller, there's a closing deals all over the place. Get in with Shopify. Shopify.com/garbage. Do it.

• 20:08Speaker 01

  Uh, all right, let's see here. Let's get into it. Uh, this one's from Big Tony. This is more of a story. One time, six buddies and I went to Applebee's for the dollar drinks. Back in, back in 2018, we got there at 9:00 PM and found out after we were seated, the promotion was from 10 till 2. Is it garbage to sit there for an hour and not order anything? Well, just do the water till 10. Thank you very much. That I respect, I mean.

• 20:33H. Foley?

  I respect it.

• 20:34Speaker 01

  We...

• 20:35H. Foley?

  At that point, you just gave it to him. Hey, what are you doing? Cut me off at 11.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  It's probably not in the system.

• 20:41H. Foley?

  I'm not gonna make it till 10:30 anyway.

• 20:42Speaker 01

  I'll be carrying me out of here. I remember one time on the road with a comic that I didn't know. He's like, "Let's stop at Applebee's." I said, "All right." We were like, you know, whatever. And they were like, "Are you here for dollaritas?" And I said, "I wasn't, but I'll fucking..." This guy's driving. I had two, he had three.

• 20:57H. Foley?

  That's funny. Those things are quiet assassins.

• 21:00Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:00H. Foley?

  You get up to go to the bathroom.

• 21:02Speaker 01

  Your cross is...

• 21:02H. Foley?

  Stumbling backwards.

• 21:04Speaker 01

  You're in the girls' room. Wait, your dress over your head.

• 21:09H. Foley?

  Crying.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  Uh... This one too, I don't know about you, but for us, so as a kid, we went to these, like, you know, went to these chain restaurants a lot. And then as an older kid, high school, when you had a little bit of freedom, we all had like a day, not a day job, we all had job, like, you know, some sort of after school or weekend job.

• 21:28H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  So we would make like 150 bucks a week or whatever like that. So you had a little bit of cash, a little bit of spending cash. And we would, we started going back to Applebee's in high school as like seniors a little bit. And that was our... To have like a waiter.

• 21:44H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  Is, and high school, for a, for a high school dirtbag is like, you know, meanwhile, as a kid, we went to school with.

• 21:51H. Foley?

  Yeah, and I look, I look back, we, Denny's was our place for that. In high school and college, and I look back thinking, "Man, that poor fucking server."

• 22:00Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:01H. Foley?

  Fucking sucked.

• 22:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:03H. Foley?

  Couple of fuckers, I've had that, waiting to take a couple of rats. Just in there fucking, ugh.

• 22:09Speaker 01

  In there too long. No one could do the math.

• 22:12H. Foley?

  Fucking up the sugar caddies.

• 22:13Speaker 01

  No one can do the math for 20%.

• 22:15H. Foley?

  Yeah, getting ripped off.

• 22:16Speaker 01

  Uh-huh. I know, it's, and we would go, and then I think even a little bit afterwards, like somebody start, or maybe we were like with an older kid, a kid who was a little bit older. ID, so like one kid would be getting, he had a fake ID, so he'd be ordering a beer. Meanwhile, I hadn't hit puberty yet. I'm like, "Dude, this is crazy that this 22-year-old's hanging out with this fucking kid who's 14." You know what I mean? Uh, but that was a big thing.

• 22:38H. Foley?

  Across state lines.

• 22:40Speaker 01

  That was like another big thing. So this is, this is from Ace the Homie. "We used to go to Applebee's for weeknight karaoke in high school. They were doing stuff."

• 22:48H. Foley?

  I mean, that's crazy.

• 22:49Speaker 01

  We'd order like one appetizer each and watch my friend, it's, watch my friend sing Enrique Iglesias' Hero. He put on a hell of a show for the whole place. I mean, in a more small town, that is the entertainment, like that's what I'm saying. That's where you're going.

• 23:05H. Foley?

  High school, that's not, that's nerd shit right there.

• 23:08Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 23:09H. Foley?

  Go to, get, get in the garage, get some beers.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  I could be a hero, baby. I could do that every night. People's parents are home. You gotta go fuck it. I gotta go get some trim at the Applebee's.

• 23:18H. Foley?

  Man, karaoke at an Applebee's.

• 23:19Speaker 01

  You did comedy at an Applebee's?

• 23:21H. Foley?

  I did on New Year's Eve in Philadelphia.

• 23:24Speaker 01

  I was so jealous I wasn't on that show.

• 23:25H. Foley?

  Really?

• 23:26Speaker 01

  It was you, Tommy Pope, me and Fi Dance, Chris Cotton.

• 23:29H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 23:30Speaker 01

  And I said, "You really, you, well, you get a big gig like this? You don't like get me wet his beak?"

• 23:34H. Foley?

  Yeah, I remember that. That, that flyer's still floating around out there.

• 23:37Speaker 01

  Oh, I know. It's, I have it hanging on my wall with a big X through your face.

• 23:43Speaker 01

  Laces out, Foley.

• 23:47H. Foley?

  Yeah, they really, they really started expanding those things and trying to do more of that stuff.

• 23:53Speaker 01

  They tried to be like neighborhood bars.

• 23:54H. Foley?

  But it's funny, when that all collapsed and like you'd be in there eating with your family and you go to the, where's the bathroom? Oh, it's upstairs. And you get upstairs to like a banquet hall and you'd be like, "What the fuck is this?" Tables are all flipped over. There's mop buckets everywhere. That shit got shut down real quick.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Uh, all right. This one's from another generation of garbage. "When I was 17, my mom and I went to Red Robin Great Burgers. A girl I went to school with said one of the other servers thought I was cute. The girl gave me her number the next day, like the, her, the girl he went to school with gave the coworker's number to him the next day at school. When I went to hang out with her, she turned out to be 35 and had her own apartment. She wasn't bad looking and had a great body. She was 35 at working at Red Robin. That night, I received my first BJ. Red Robin will always have a special place in my heart. Even 32 years later, I miss her and think of her often. What a gal."

• 24:53Speaker 01

  Awesome. So many-

• 24:55H. Foley?

  Let alone the unlimited basket of fries.

• 24:57Speaker 01

  So many things have broken down in that night. The kid's there with his mom. A 35-year-old woman sees a high school kid there with his mom, goes, "That kid's got it going on." Tells another 8, 7, 18, 18-year-old girl, "Hey, give it my number." They hang out.

• 25:13H. Foley?

  Catches a hummy.

• 25:14Speaker 01

  Catches a fucking-

• 25:15H. Foley?

  A blowie, as Yanni Pappas would say.

• 25:17Speaker 01

  How wild is that?

• 25:18H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  That's what- It goes back to the supermarket. These places in suburban or rural areas are the, like- A lot of people's like, first what at, first jobs, first crushes, first date, like- Are, are, these are like, you know, the, the hubs of certain, certain things.

• 25:33H. Foley?

  That guy will never be able to drive by a Red Robin.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  Without thinking of catching a hu- dude, imagine being 18? Hopefully he's 18. Catching a, catching a hummy?

• 25:41H. Foley?

  35 with her own apartment?

• 25:43Speaker 01

  Dude, a 35-year-old Red Robin waitress. That is a specific kind of brilliant. This is, it's gotta be in the 90s too. 32 years later, what's 32 years from now? It's gotta be-

• 25:55Speaker 01

  This is like 95? Dude, whoa, that's-

• 25:58H. Foley?

  Talking about playing it fast and loose.

• 26:01Speaker 01

  That girl is alright. I'll talk to him, teardrop butt.

• 26:07H. Foley?

  I wonder what she was driving? A Mitsubishi something.

• 26:11Speaker 01

  It was something without a hubcap.

• 26:12H. Foley?

  RAV4, Mitsubishi. Yeah. Man.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  Probably stick too. That was, that was, that was a manual transmission.

• 26:20H. Foley?

  Man, a girl that drove stick back then? What, are you in the army?

• 26:25Speaker 01

  Got a, got a heater hanging out of the-

• 26:29H. Foley?

  Don't be a pussy. My husband won't be home for another hour. I don't know, lady.

• 26:33Speaker 01

  There's a car seat in the back.

• 26:34H. Foley?

  There's definitely some takeout back there too. The waitress taking her dinner home from work.

• 26:41Speaker 01

  Oh, man. Alright, this one's from Thick Bones Jones. $5 Modelo, never had one red. "Family rarely went out to eat since there was five of us."

• 26:51H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 26:51Speaker 01

  "One night, we went to Chili's. Everything was going great. The cokes were flowing, the chips and salsa was banging. I got the chicken crispers, how you doing?"

• 27:02Speaker 01

  And asked for extra ranch. They brought out a gravy boat of ranch. I proceeded to eat the whole boat and then puked everything up in the parking lot. Dot, dot, dot, I used to puke most times going out to eat. Puked all over the table at a Red Lobster when I was seven. Why the fuck they giving lobster to a kid? My mom, my mom took me to a Walmart to get a shirt. My dad finished the meal. That, I mean, come on, dude. That's fucking crazy. You would be surprised at the amount of submissions where kids threw up at chain restaurants.

• 27:34H. Foley?

  I was never a puker. I wasn't a puker.

• 27:37Speaker 01

  I wa- I mean, I was-

• 27:39H. Foley?

  Overeat puker?

• 27:40Speaker 01

  Nah, I was a drinking puker, for sure.

• 27:42H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  Um, but I mean, one out of every four was, and then I threw up in the parking lot. Then I threw up on the table. Then I threw up, it was crazy.

• 27:51H. Foley?

  Yeah. They get all excited. They start wolfing down that marinara sauce.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:56H. Foley?

  Next thing you know, they're yakking.

• 27:58Speaker 01

  All hopped up.

• 27:59H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, uh, that's it, dude. I mean, so many, there's just, so many people have so many memories of just, that was it. Like, we didn't go out, then we went out and it went bad.

• 28:13H. Foley?

  The first, the, the, one of the only times as a family, and like, when we'd go out to eat as a family, it would be my family, my cousin's family, the other cousins, everybody would go out. We'd have like a table of 15. And I remember going to a Red Lobster for the first time. I thought that was like the White House.

• 28:29Speaker 01

  I still don't think I've ever been to a Red Lobster.

• 28:31H. Foley?

  And I remember when we got it, being like, this fucking stinks.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  Really?

• 28:35H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:36Speaker 01

  Really?

• 28:37H. Foley?

  My dad does Lobsters at the house better than this. They all dry and shit.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  Uh, we had a family reunion at a Friday's. This just hit me. I wouldn't say reunion, but part of my dad's family, one of the, one of the brothers moved out to Hawaii or California or something. I had never, I had never seen him. I'm about eight. I don't know him.

• 28:57H. Foley?

  Somebody moving from your family to Hawaii. Man, the rumors going around.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  Or maybe the kid, or maybe he married a lady from Hawaii and they were living in California? Either way, the kid-

• 29:10H. Foley?

  Wait, did I meet this guy? Was this guy at the park show? This family? Is that a possibility?

• 29:17Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 29:18H. Foley?

  Because I talked to a family at the park show, you, that are around your age, that live out there.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  No.

• 29:25H. Foley?

  No?

• 29:25Speaker 01

  They shouldn't have been. No, I didn't know that guy you were talking to.

• 29:29H. Foley?

  Oh, really?

• 29:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I forgot about that. I'd never seen that guy in my life. He was like a friend of a friend of a brother's friend.

• 29:35H. Foley?

  Fucking went in on a timeshare with this guy.

• 29:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember you going, "Yeah, we go down to Connyo, hey, man, I get the little..." I'm like, "Dude, I'll see you later. I don't fucking know this guy." I gotta work a room here.

• 29:44H. Foley?

  Good people.

• 29:45Speaker 01

  Um...

• 29:48Speaker 01

  What, uh... So, I met my cousins for the first time and they were part Hawaiian, because the mom was Hawaiian. And I, dude, you tell eight, little eight-year-old Kevin, "I'm at a TGI Fridays," and they're going, "These kids are your cousins." I said, "Yeah, I ain't never met these fucking kids in my life." I remember they got entree. They got like adult entrees, and I was ordering the chicken tenders. Yeah, Fridays, you know, and they were like, "I'll do like the sea bass or whatever." And I was like, "Jeez, where... What planet are you kids from?"

• 30:18H. Foley?

  We weren't allowed to order entrees like that. You get a hamburger. That's hamburger and fried. Nothing that came with a super is salad, I can tell you that.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  I remember when it was like, we weren't allowed to do the platter, the chicken finger platter. Sometimes you'd have to do the appetizer, the chicken finger basket, which didn't come with fries typically, and sometimes the platter deluxe.

• 30:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I used to know my, dude, you can show me a menu from 50 feet away, I could tell you where the chicken tenders were falling on it.

• 30:45H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 30:45Speaker 01

  If it was a kid's menu, if it was like there was a platter portion.

• 30:48H. Foley?

  Usually went like fourth in the appetizer.

• 30:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'll do the chicken tend... Sometimes I would just be, you know, coloring and look up. I wouldn't even look at the menu. And I went to Applebee's, I didn't need to look at the menu. But you still got the... You know why I'm here. Bring out the money maker.

• 31:06H. Foley?

  Give me the usual. Start heating up that brownie, too.

• 31:10Speaker 01

  Couple extra toothpicks for my stepdad here.

• 31:12H. Foley?

  Ah, man, that's alright.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  Um, alright, this one's from Jackie Treehorn. Great name. "One of my dad's best friends got robbed by two ladies of the night he met at a TGI Fridays bar on a work trip. He took them up to his hotel room, they tied him up at knife point and tried to take his wallet. Choke's on them, he was hammered and left his wallet at the bar.

• 31:38Speaker 01

  He proudly told this story to my dad in front of me at a different TGI Fridays a few months later."

• 31:47Speaker 01

  Never return to the scene of the crime.

• 31:49H. Foley?

  Man, if you're working the TGI Fridays.

• 31:52Speaker 01

  Again, this is, dude, I remember doing a show in like upstate Pennsylvania at a Ramada and that bar was like...

• 32:00H. Foley?

  The bar.

• 32:00Speaker 01

  That was the bar. And I was sitting there waiting to go on and bam. And uh, there was like people hanging out and a couple of, you know, night crawlers.

• 32:10H. Foley?

  Ladies.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I'm like, she ain't, you know.

• 32:13H. Foley?

  You on the show too?

• 32:15Speaker 01

  How long you been doing comedy? I'm three years in. I'm the host. I got moved down from feature.

• 32:23H. Foley?

  Man, that's a tale right there.

• 32:24Speaker 01

  That's all, I mean, it's just so, that's, listen, you're an older guy, you know, middle aged guy, you're on a business trip. It's not like you're in, you're not in downtown Philadelphia, midtown Manhattan.

• 32:38H. Foley?

  Look who you're talking to.

• 32:39Speaker 01

  You're going to, you're going to a TGI Friedy's.

• 32:42H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 32:43Speaker 01

  Getting fucked, getting worked over. Dude, joke's on them being so fucked up. You left, you left your wallet at the bar.

• 32:49H. Foley?

  He's just tied up laughing.

• 32:52Speaker 01

  They got, still got to see your titties.

• 32:55Speaker 01

  Uh, man, alright, let's see here. Um, this is from Abbeville. I was a server at Applebee's in Westchester, Pennsylvania, when the Eagles won in 2018. The main host of the place was a diehard Eagles fan, called out for the parade and never came back. Go Birds. That's the best day that guy's life. He probably died. Like, ran over by a horse or something.

• 33:21H. Foley?

  It was always great when somebody made it out. Hey, he's not coming back.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's a great, that's how you quit those jobs. When you're off a day you're not supposed to be off. Those jobs, a retail job, a shitty office job, a, you know, a chain restaurant, a shitty restaurant, this, you're getting that cycle of like, ah, I worked these days and these nights and these days. And the second you crack that, and you have like a three day weekend, you go, what the fuck am I going back to this? You got a little bit of sunshine in your face, you touch a little grass.

• 33:52H. Foley?

  I was big on uh, getting my last paycheck. I'm gonna go in, get my paycheck and either not gonna show up for brunch the next day, or tell them, hey, by the way, I'm done. I'm out. Go Birds. They're losing.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  Applebee's sucks.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  Uh, we've talked about this before, but Waiting has hit that cul- the, the movie Waiting.

• 34:13H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 34:14Speaker 01

  Hit that culture.

• 34:15H. Foley?

  Perfectly.

• 34:16Speaker 01

  Nail on the head, out of the fucking park. It's like you know every- if you grew up with a relatively dirtbag background, not even that dirt, you know every single person of, in that movie.

• 34:26H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:27Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, this one's, uh, from, uh, Brandonio. "I worked at an Outback Steakhouse for seven plus years throughout high school and college. One time I was high on Molly and reversed my car into the building by the takeout room. Destroyed the back of my car. To this day, there's still an indent in the building and pieces of my taillight embedded in there."

• 34:53Speaker 01

  I love how you're like, "Ah, pretty good gig. I'm on Molly all shift." That's pretty, um...

• 35:01Speaker 01

  That's great. I mean, Luke, can you find out what, who's got the best, go to, go to their web, go to every, not every, go to the, give me Outback, give me Applebee's.

• 35:11Speaker 03

  I got the top five.

• 35:12Speaker 01

  Top five what?

• 35:14Speaker 03

  So, we're starting out, we got Buffalo Wild Wings, they do about four billion, Chili's, four billion, Applebee's, Texas Roadhouse, Olive Garden.

• 35:21H. Foley?

  Four billion dollars a year in revenue? And fuck, what's the first one, Buffalo Wild Wings?

• 35:26Speaker 03

  Buffalo Wild Wings is the lowest.

• 35:28H. Foley?

  I don't count that shit.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  Why?

• 35:30H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's, that's not, that's not, that's not eating good in the neighborhood, that's not family.

• 35:35Speaker 01

  I might have to push, I see what you're saying, but-

• 35:37H. Foley?

  I've never been to one.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  You've never been to one? And they, they, they weren't, they came online when you were, like, they, I've, they opened up in, like, 2014. Like, I was already broke. Like, I couldn't go to a Buffalo Wild Wings, you know what I mean?

• 35:53H. Foley?

  Yeah, I was, uh, yeah. I take that back.

• 35:57Speaker 01

  I would've loved, that's like a, that's like a Chickies and Pete's.

• 36:01H. Foley?

  Yeah, I don't think I've ever been with actual Chickie and Pete's. Just at the stadiums. Crab fries, right?

• 36:06Speaker 01

  That don't count.

• 36:07Speaker 03

  So what do you want me to find?

• 36:08Speaker 01

  Find, go to their homepages and find out who's got what specials are currently, you know what I mean?

• 36:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:14Speaker 01

  It should be like in the banner, like, hey, we got two for two days.

• 36:17H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:17Speaker 01

  Give me an out, give me an Outback, give me an Applebee's.

• 36:20H. Foley?

  I can't believe four billion, four billion.

• 36:23Speaker 01

  Go, just go to the top five on that list you had.

• 36:26H. Foley?

  That's a lot of cash.

• 36:27Speaker 01

  A lot of tendies.

• 36:29H. Foley?

  Four billion dollars they're doing.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 36:31H. Foley?

  Chili's, four billion. Damn. Somebody's still eating there.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  I, a lot, yeah, a lot of fucking people.

• 36:38H. Foley?

  I think they dipped and came back. Right?

• 36:40Speaker 01

  I think they did too, yeah. I mean, they got the fucking, uh...

• 36:43H. Foley?

  Cause I remember they were in the, they were all in the toilet for all, when they, when they started doing the curbside shit.

• 36:50Speaker 01

  That was insane to me.

• 36:51H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 36:51Speaker 01

  I remember, I used to go to the one in Newtown, it was like...

• 36:54H. Foley?

  How am I gonna get fucking free refills, huh? How am I, what, I gotta fucking drive back?

• 36:59Speaker 01

  I was here yesterday. A little top, top.

• 37:01H. Foley?

  They go over the top with the packaging, too.

• 37:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:05H. Foley?

  It's nuts. It's like space age shit.

• 37:07Speaker 01

  It's just, to me, that food is such... Being there. Like, like I want, I can get tenders from anywhere.

• 37:16H. Foley?

  I got tenders, I got tender guy.

• 37:20Speaker 01

  My thing is like, that's part of the experience. You go there, you sit, you break balls, you have a dollerita, someone gets too fucked up, whatever, whatever.

• 37:28H. Foley?

  Parents are smoking.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's part of it. The getting, the food's mediocre. I mean, if I'm getting, you know, food's fine at best, you know?

• 37:39H. Foley?

  Were you a booth family?

• 37:40Speaker 01

  Always, always a booth. Uh...

• 37:43H. Foley?

  I'd add like the table.

• 37:46Speaker 01

  Did they, I'm trying to think, did they have smoking?

• 37:49H. Foley?

  Yeah, for sure. When I was a kid, for sure.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, so with the one on Tree Road, you'd go in and to the left was the smoking section.

• 37:56H. Foley?

  Like at the bar.

• 37:56Speaker 01

  Cause now that I'm thinking, I've never been on the right side of...

• 37:59H. Foley?

  Yeah, the bar area was smoking. Ripping heaters at the bar.

• 38:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I think even the, there was like an elevated platform on the left of the bar.

• 38:06H. Foley?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, there was like the high tops and shit.

• 38:08Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no, like a...

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Mine where you'd walk in, it was like the Thunderdome a little bit. You'd walk in and the bar was right in front of ya. And then everything else was like two or three steps up around that.

• 38:19H. Foley?

  I think those play, that's the first time I saw the bar that went all the way around.

• 38:23Speaker 01

  The octagon bar. Woo, two men enter, one man leaves.

• 38:26H. Foley?

  Kim, let's talk about Aura Frames.

• 38:27Speaker 01

  Shout out Aura Frames.

• 38:29H. Foley?

  Again, and a homerun Aura Frames. What are you thinking about getting your mom for Mother's Day this year? I know it's a little far away.

• 38:35Speaker 01

  She's getting her third Aura Frame that she can put in the powder room if she needs it, because that's the best damn product out there.

• 38:39H. Foley?

  Listen, if your mom, if your wife, if your aunt, if your uncle.

• 38:43Speaker 01

  Mother-in-law.

• 38:44H. Foley?

  Anybody, grandparents, grandpa, everybody loves it, man. Do yourself a favor. Aura Frames, digital, upload, boom. What are the kids doing? Johnny's got a basketball game. Oh, how's Johnny doing? What are you gonna do? You're gonna send the pics? They upload right to the frame, man. You keep it coming, keeps them happy, shuts them up. Do yourself a favor if you want the easiest gift to get your mother this Mother's Day, or if somebody's got a birthday coming up, it's gonna be an Aura Frame. You're gonna look like a goddamn hero.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  And I said it before, getting an Aura Frame for these people means you ain't gotta see them as much as you gotta see them, because they think you're saying, they think they're having dinner with you, because you're over there, you're on the nightstand.

• 39:20H. Foley?

  Talk to the frame.

• 39:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, buddy, I'm busy, but the frame's available for dinner. You know what I mean? Right now, you can save on the perfect gift that keeps on giving by visiting AuraFrames.com for a limited time. Our listeners can get $20 off their best-selling Carver Matte Frame with code GARBAGE. That's Aura, A-U-R-A, Frames.com, promo code GARBAGE. Don't forget to mention that the boy sent ya, so you know, so you, sent you to support for the show. I just had a stroke. Terms and conditions apply. Let them know the boy sent you $20 off, code GARBAGE, do it.

• 39:50H. Foley?

  Yeah. Kim, let's talk about Truework.

• 39:52Speaker 01

  Shout out to Truework.

• 39:54H. Foley?

  Gang, if you don't know Truework, Truework has hell been on creating the most technical high-performance workwear in the world. The Truework story begins in the Colorado Mountains, where a trade worker knew that there had to be a better solution than wet, heavy gear that was weighing him down. And that is where Truework was born. Do yourself a favor, if you're an outdoor guy, if you're a working man, Truework is your answer.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. They were kind enough to send us. Some stuff and it's tight gear. You get it?

• 40:22H. Foley?

  Top quality.

• 40:23Speaker 01

  You feel cool. Listen, I'm not a, I'm not a blue collar guy no more. I hung up my work boots.

• 40:26H. Foley?

  Feel like a real man putting those things on.

• 40:28Speaker 01

  But I go to the deli and everybody thinks I'm a project manager on a, on a high rise being built.

• 40:34H. Foley?

  Goddamn GC over here.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  No, no joke. I was stuck in traffic. It was pouring the other day and I watched this construction worker just soggy, just walking and he got in a truck. I was like-

• 40:42H. Foley?

  Should've got, should've yelled out, "True work!"

• 40:44Speaker 01

  Promoco garbage.

• 40:45H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 40:46Speaker 01

  Uh, it's soft, stretchy, sweat, sweat wicking, soft shell work pants are an major upgrade for overall wet, heavy jeans, windproof, waterproof, the whole nine yards are taking care of you. Truework has over 50,000 five star reviews and countless stories from trade pros in every state and every job across the country. Uh, so check out their full lineup and get 15% off your first order at truewerk.com/garbage. That's 15% off at truework, T R U E W E R K dot com slash garbage dot. Speaking of the bar, this one I've never thought of, and this is fantastic. This is from Roy Munson. Is it garbage or use your Red Robin gift card at the bar? Gift card money spends the same, baby. So in my head-

• 41:25H. Foley?

  Drink.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. In my head, if someone went, "Here's a $50 gift card to Chili's," I'd have to go sit down and eat dinner. In my, I'd never thought I could just go to the bar and get 50 bucks worth of booze with me and the boys.

• 41:38H. Foley?

  Can you do that?

• 41:39Speaker 01

  That's what he's saying. Spends like money.

• 41:41H. Foley?

  I thought they'd trip you up on shit like that. Nah, it's gotta be at a table and-

• 41:45Speaker 01

  Ah, I mean, even if it's a ta-

• 41:47H. Foley?

  That's all I got.

• 41:47Speaker 01

  Even if it's a table.

• 41:48H. Foley?

  Hooker took my wallet.

• 41:50Speaker 01

  This is what you're getting. I mean, even if it's at a table, you go, "Hey, drop the chips and salsa and keep the fucking Michelob's flowing," you know?

• 41:57H. Foley?

  Man, if you caught that when they were doing one of those dollar drink specials?

• 41:59Speaker 01

  You'd be fucking, fucking ossified. They'd have to pull you out of there.

• 42:05H. Foley?

  Plus the molly?

• 42:06Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Uh.

• 42:10Speaker 01

  Um, this one's from Reggie. This is a deep cup, deep, deep cut on a couple of things. Hey, gang, never had one red. Is it garbage if you sold enough magazine subscriptions during the magazine drive in seventh grade that the school got a limo to take you and a bunch of other kids to TGI Fridays for lunch one day? Couldn't tell me shit on that day.

• 42:30H. Foley?

  This is fucking Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross?

• 42:31Speaker 01

  That's crazy. That, that was always a, a myth. If you sold whatever, you'd get a limo ride to Pizza Hut or whatever.

• 42:39H. Foley?

  I'd never heard that in my life.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  Uh, you know, I, that was always a myth to me.

• 42:43H. Foley?

  What, selling what? Magazines?

• 42:44Speaker 01

  Yeah. So it would be like a drive of some sort.

• 42:46H. Foley?

  We did candy around Easter.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  Okay, same thing.

• 42:50H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  If you sold enough candy, the, the theory would always be like, oh, the school three towns away sends you the top guy in a limo. And I ain't never, I never seen it, but this kid fucking did it.

• 43:01H. Foley?

  Hitting the fucking pavement.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  This kid's like blank check over here.

• 43:04H. Foley?

  That's crazy.

• 43:06Speaker 01

  That's awesome, man. Anything on a school day.

• 43:10H. Foley?

  Forget it.

• 43:11Speaker 01

  It was, you know.

• 43:12H. Foley?

  That's where I went to Chi Chi's for fucking, uh, Spanish class. Loaded up the bus, went over there.

• 43:17Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 43:17H. Foley?

  It was fantastic.

• 43:18Speaker 01

  We went to Marita's Cantina. I remember we always used to, whenever I was sick, I'd always make my mom stop and get Burger King, which like seems counterproductive now that I'm an adult. I'd leave the doctor's office and go get Burger King.

• 43:31H. Foley?

  When you were sick? Or if you were like getting a physical?

• 43:34Speaker 01

  I forget. I'd be going home. And we would get Burger King, I'd eat it in the car ride home, then she'd go back to work and I'd be-

• 43:41H. Foley?

  Trying to drag my feet on that shit.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  I'd be at the crib snoozing probably, or tug him out a little rootski.

• 43:50Speaker 01

  Uh, what do you got, Lucas?

• 43:52Speaker 03

  The deals are all like, uh, two for blank deals now, except Texas Roadhouse. They have the, uh-

• 44:00H. Foley?

  Texas Roadhouse. Fantastic.

• 44:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, they got the Monday Margarita. Texas T-Bone Tuesday. Wild West Wednesday.

• 44:08Speaker 01

  What's the Monday Margarita? What's that banging?

• 44:09Speaker 03

  Discounted margaritas.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  Discounted vaged.

• 44:11H. Foley?

  And let me tell you something, those things are strong as shit and you get, you can't eat it, it's all sugar. They're the, I had a pomegranate one when we went out. Holy shit. Three of those and I didn't know who I was. Talking about singing show tunes. Good night.

• 44:28Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  And then you got, I mean, Applebee's has double the deal, double the fun, meal deal for two.

• 44:33Speaker 01

  They're just making shit up at this point. Hey, give us 20 bucks, we'll give you a shit ton of food, is what it's- Double the food, double-

• 44:39H. Foley?

  Double the deal, double the fun.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  Hey, what do you got? It's, it seems very used car salesman-y.

• 44:44H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 44:45Speaker 01

  It's just a guy out front doing this?

• 44:46Speaker 03

  Chili's three for one.

• 44:48H. Foley?

  What's three for one?

• 44:49Speaker 01

  Three for one apps?

• 44:50Speaker 03

  So you get an app, an entree and a drink.

• 44:52H. Foley?

  Ah, okay.

• 44:53Speaker 01

  For one?

• 44:54Speaker 03

  For the price of one. I think it's about 22 dollars, something like that.

• 44:58H. Foley?

  That's not bad. That's not bad. Plus, it's somebody's birthday.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  They all have the birthday deal. That's big.

• 45:06Speaker 01

  It's free. You get, you get half, you get a free app or something.

• 45:09Speaker 03

  Some way. They all, they all a little different. Some people are gonna get a free something.

• 45:14H. Foley?

  Every Veterans Day, my parents would go to lunch at either Applebee's or TGI Friday's, whichever one did that.

• 45:20Speaker 01

  Your mom's dressed like Sergeant Slaughter.

• 45:25H. Foley?

  She's got the gun belt.

• 45:32H. Foley?

  Yeah, they'd go like, for lunch. Couldn't imagine what that place looked like.

• 45:39Speaker 03

  If you order online at Olive Garden, you can do a $6 take-home entree.

• 45:43H. Foley?

  Yeah, they like, they got the apps and the online shit. Fuck that.

• 45:46Speaker 01

  When I was doing DoorDash, I remember delivering a guy Applebee's in a rough apartment, like, real rough. And it was like, so much.

• 45:55H. Foley?

  What are you celebrating?

• 45:59Speaker 01

  Looking out the window. He was laying low for sure, this guy. This is in a, this is in a rough strip of apartments. And I remember, uh, there was like, so much Applebee's, like, over a hundred dollars worth of Applebee's, and this is in like, Bumblefuck Jersey.

• 46:16H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's hiding out.

• 46:17Speaker 01

  And I remember being like, "Why are you staying here? And if you got a hundred and twenty bucks to spend at Applebee's, you're class to join up, go, go, go get a room at the Hilton or something." You got the cash, you know what I mean? I remember having to call him, he's like, "Nah, keep going," and I was like,

• 46:38H. Foley?

  "Take the keys."

• 46:39Speaker 01

  "Make sure I left the Montego running." Uh, god. Um,

• 46:47Speaker 01

  this one's pretty good. Uh, this is from, uh, Arous Lou. Uh, "I've, I've been going to Applebee's at least once a month for 12 years with two friends. Great tradition."

• 46:58H. Foley?

  Love that.

• 46:58Speaker 01

  "We have only ever paid for half-priced apps, never had an entree." I respect that.

• 47:05H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  That's like, uh...

• 47:08Speaker 01

  That's a good hang with the boys.

• 47:10H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 47:11Speaker 01

  We're gonna go, we're each gonna have two or three drinks. Maybe every third month, someone you get fucking, you're like, you know what? My wife's out of town getting fucking shit housed.

• 47:19H. Foley?

  Crippled.

• 47:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. And just keep the half-priced app. This goes back to my, I don't need an entree. Post me up at a high top, two of my boys. Gimme flip, pat. And just let them. Who?

• 47:33H. Foley?

  Ahem.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  You don't, it's well documented, you don't like a high top.

• 47:36H. Foley?

  Hey, can't get a goddamn table.

• 47:40H. Foley?

  I like dollar margaritas.

• 47:41Speaker 01

  You're off restaurants.

• 47:43H. Foley?

  I'm off restaurants.

• 47:43Speaker 01

  Uh, I would have you, but you're off restaurants.

• 47:46H. Foley?

  Fair enough. I'd make an exception for a Friday's half-price appetizer.

• 47:50Speaker 01

  So it got us in this trouble to begin with. Uh, and just post up for like three or four and just, you know, get the.

• 47:58H. Foley?

  Nice snowy day.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  Man, step out for a heater, come, I'm off the heaters, but step out for a heater.

• 48:04H. Foley?

  That's where you step out for a heater. When you're in there drinking, step out for a heater.

• 48:08Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 48:08H. Foley?

  Before the apps get there. Feel the cold.

• 48:11Speaker 01

  Well, that's a bar, that's like, that's what's so unique about those. The middle of those establishments is a bar. There's hookers, you're hitting on people, like, but then there's like a kid celebrating his birthday five feet away, you know? They got the touch tunes, like.

• 48:25H. Foley?

  Kid with no future.

• 48:27Speaker 01

  Hey, I turned out pretty good. Uh, this, this leads right into this, socks with sandals. Is it garbage to take your small children to Applebee's at night at 9:00 PM? I was definitely in an Applebee's on a school night.

• 48:39H. Foley?

  Man.

• 48:40Speaker 01

  Past when I for sure should have been.

• 48:43H. Foley?

  That's crazy.

• 48:44Speaker 01

  But that's, I mean, what's, what's the, dude, I've been seeing more and more young kid, like, uh, like couples with like a baby.

• 48:55H. Foley?

  We saw that, uh, when we were at that diner.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Where?

• 48:58H. Foley?

  At the 24, the diner 24.

• 49:00Speaker 01

  That's what, that was, yeah, last week.

• 49:02H. Foley?

  Yeah, they were like, they were getting like chopped, they were having like a date. I guess, you know, you're working, that's the only time you could see your wife, you got the kid.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  I was one, they weren't working, they were, they, no, no, not one of them was in a uniform. Like if one was in scrubs, I go, all right, you just got off third shift or whatever.

• 49:18H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  I'll get a second shift, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

• 49:20H. Foley?

  They had a baby.

• 49:20Speaker 01

  They had a baby.

• 49:23Speaker 01

  It was 1 o'clock in the morning on a fucking Wednesday.

• 49:25H. Foley?

  Maybe you don't know, maybe she just woke up. Maybe the baby just got off work. Who knows?

• 49:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. I've just been seeing more and more of that. I'm like, god damn.

• 49:33H. Foley?

  I remember being, when we were in Vegas for Skank Fest, walking down that Fremont and like, it'd be like 2 o'clock in the morning and there's like a 5-year-old with like, a yard in his hand. Just walking down next to his stroller. Like, what are we doing? I respect it.

• 49:49Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 49:49H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  Uh, alright.

• 49:52H. Foley?

  The little kids, sorry, the little kids in those situations. You know, my, you know, my, my dad was always a good judge of, alright, it's time to get out of here.

• 49:59Speaker 01

  With the kids?

• 50:00H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 50:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. I wish I could say the same. Um...

• 50:05H. Foley?

  You're coming in as we're leaving?

• 50:07Speaker 01

  Where are you going? I got a stack of quarters.

• 50:09H. Foley?

  I just got here! Dirtbag.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, man, hanging at the bar of those joints was, uh, was alright. I mean, we would... I remember bumping into like, my brother's teacher or something and I think my dad was hitting on her. It was, it was...

• 50:27H. Foley?

  It's 11:30 at night, Kevin.

• 50:28Speaker 01

  I remember them being like, "They're talking too much." Like, my dad don't like people. For him to be talking that much.

• 50:35H. Foley?

  What was she doing in there?

• 50:36Speaker 01

  Fucking, probably throwing it at him.

• 50:39H. Foley?

  Dying one on.

• 50:41Speaker 01

  I thought, I think she was, I thought she was a lesbian, but I'd still, I remember going, "They're talking way too inten-" I was like, "Yo, what are you doing here? What the fuck's going on?"

• 50:51Speaker 03

  Bear your teacher coverage.

• 50:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, there was a lot of times where it was just like, I remember one time we were at a Friday's or somewhere.

• 51:06Speaker 01

  It was far. We were, we were in northeast Philly. We were like down on the boulevard somewhere. And, uh, like, and my dad and my brother, we were hang- we were in the smoking, I remember this vividly. My dad and my brother got in an argument that my dad couldn't run home from where we were. Cause my dad used to be like a pretty good runner.

• 51:27H. Foley?

  He was all drinking?

• 51:30H. Foley?

  I'll be $20, you can't do 60 pushups right now.

• 51:34Speaker 01

  Or they were arguing, oh, I might, you know, I'm sure my dad had...

• 51:39Speaker 01

  A lot of cocktails, enough in them.

• 51:41H. Foley?

  Say no more.

• 51:43Speaker 01

  And he's gonna, "I'll fucking run home right now." And I was like, dude, I must have been-

• 51:46H. Foley?

  You gonna leave us here?

• 51:48Speaker 01

  I remember being like, "What are we just gonna drive real slow?" Forrest Gump had just come out? So I remember being like, "Are we just gonna drive real slow next to you the whole time?" It was raining too. And I think he said, "If it wasn't raining, I'd fucking do it." I'm like, "I'm like, one dude, you're fucking, you're at your 50th Marlboro Red of the day." "You got at least eight or nine Michelob's in ya and some fucking fettuccine Alfredo." But this is after dinner.

• 52:13H. Foley?

  You'll be hurling at a quarter mile.

• 52:14Speaker 01

  Uh huh. And it was like, it had to be about 15 miles.

• 52:18H. Foley?

  What?

• 52:19Speaker 01

  Oh no, it was like, not in the neighborhood. It was, it was, it was, like, right now, if you were like, "Hey, you gotta get in the car and drive", I'd be like, "Ah, we'll just go tomorrow." Like, it was that far. It was a 30 minute drive, maybe.

• 52:34H. Foley?

  Jesus. That's bad.

• 52:36Speaker 01

  Getting in a bar argument with an eight-year-old? Woo!

• 52:42H. Foley?

  Getting thrown out?

• 52:43Speaker 01

  Aw, man.

• 52:45H. Foley?

  Aw, that's alright.

• 52:47Speaker 01

  Very of the, this is, this is from Desiree. "Is it garbage if I've been at a Chili's for dinner and you and your dad have to break up a father-son fight at the table next to you after the son smacked the shit out of the dad?"

• 52:59H. Foley?

  That's where you get smacked, in there.

• 53:01Speaker 01

  A lot of smack I've ever heard. And that- He goes, "They were like, they were 30 and 60. I let my dad control the son and I took the old guy to calm down." That's a relationship, that's like, if I went and met, if I reached out to them, they were trying to rekindle. That's where you go. If I reached out to my dad now, I was like, "Yo, what are you doing? Let's go to, uh, meet at the Applebee's."

• 53:24H. Foley?

  Meet at the Applebee's.

• 53:25Speaker 01

  And we're sitting there and then-

• 53:26H. Foley?

  You're not meeting at a Cheesecake Factory.

• 53:27Speaker 01

  No. Ruin my chicken parm.

• 53:29H. Foley?

  Splitting tuna nachos.

• 53:31Speaker 01

  Uh, that's what, then after, you know, probably when the entrees get dropped, you realize-

• 53:39Speaker 01

  Things are still the same.

• 53:40H. Foley?

  You got a couple in ya?

• 53:41Speaker 01

  You got, yeah, one or two in ya.

• 53:42H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 53:43Speaker 01

  He didn't change, you're still complaining about this and that.

• 53:45H. Foley?

  Wish mom felt that way.

• 53:47Speaker 01

  What'd you say?

• 53:47H. Foley?

  What'd you say? Yeah.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  Fucking whap, fucking crack. Imagine slapping a six year old dude at a Chili's?

• 53:54H. Foley?

  But here's the thing, those kind of places, that's where people step in. You go to, you're at a nice fancy restaurant or whatever, those people aren't gonna get involved. When you're in the neighborhood, people are gonna stay. That's not right, don't be itting him.

• 54:07Speaker 01

  Put you in a sleeper hold real quick.

• 54:08H. Foley?

  You ever see the one where the guy's with his wife and his kid? And he starts like screaming at her? Dude, there's like a mob, dudes are looking to be the hero in those spots.

• 54:18Speaker 01

  Sure. They're all fighting each other to get there.

• 54:20H. Foley?

  Yeah, yeah. It's great.

• 54:22Speaker 01

  That makes sense.

• 54:24H. Foley?

  That's where you find John Quinones.

• 54:26Speaker 01

  Who?

• 54:27H. Foley?

  The guy from ABC News, What Would You Do?

• 54:29Speaker 01

  I just saw it. Hey, it's actually me, John Quinones or whatever. Buddy, no one knows who you are, get the fuck outta here. He steps in, he steps out like he's Wayne Newton, like everybody's gonna be falling all, nobody knows who the fuck you are.

• 54:41H. Foley?

  I thought you were John Taffer.

• 54:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, it said bar rescue, kick rocks. Fuck you, go find me Chef Ramsay, he's not what I care about. I just saw.

• 54:49H. Foley?

  Shut this place down.

• 54:50Speaker 01

  I just saw him do that in a bar, like somebody was saying something in a bar and he's like, hey, oh, easy pal, you're on, uh, I'm John Quinones, yeah, buddy. No, thank you. Ah, shit. Um, alright, this one's from Max, $10 long-term investor. In college, my homies and I would frequent the Tiger Perkins in Orlando. Purely based off the fact that's the exact location Tiger Woods slept with a Perkins server. That's.

• 55:18H. Foley?

  Wait, hold on, so it's a Perkins, not Tiger Perkins?

• 55:21Speaker 01

  No, they called it Tiger Perkins. Yo, you wanna go to Tiger Perkins?

• 55:27H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 55:28Speaker 01

  I would do that, if that was the time when you're like.

• 55:32H. Foley?

  He also had a Denny's hostess, didn't he?

• 55:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, it might have been Perkins.

• 55:36Speaker 03

  Perkins was the famous one.

• 55:37Speaker 01

  Perkins was.

• 55:38Speaker 03

  Where she dropped the tampon on, in the parking lot. That's how they found out.

• 55:44Speaker 01

  What?

• 55:44Speaker 03

  She, so there was like a journalist following Tiger Woods. And she dropped a tampon out the window. Tiger Woods did his thing. And then a journalist took it, picked it up, found it, and like, kept it for evidence.

• 55:58Speaker 01

  Oh, they were watching. Got out the Perkins, closing deals. All that money you're saving.

• 56:05H. Foley?

  Perkins is alright.

• 56:07Speaker 01

  We were never a Perkins fam.

• 56:08H. Foley?

  Hit a couple in our day.

• 56:10Speaker 01

  Sure you did.

• 56:10H. Foley?

  Nothing wrong with it.

• 56:11Speaker 01

  Uh huh, little Perkadoodles.

• 56:14H. Foley?

  More of a Hula Hands family.

• 56:16Speaker 01

  Shout out to Hula Hands. Uh, yeah, I recently did my Red Rob- my first Red Robins.

• 56:23H. Foley?

  It's Red Robin. I don't think it's Red Robins.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  Really? Whatever.

• 56:28H. Foley?

  Scumbag. Right? It's Red Robin.

• 56:32Speaker 01

  Did you ever do Cheeseburger Cheeseburger? That's why I didn't get eyes on that. I thought that was a chain.

• 56:38H. Foley?

  That's a place in Chicago.

• 56:40Speaker 01

  Cheeseburger?

• 56:41H. Foley?

  That's from the John Belushi sketch, Cheeseburger Cheeseburger.

• 56:44Speaker 01

  I know, but they pulled- well, Cheeseburger Cheeseburger, they opened up when I was into it. Did you ever, you know, you like missed something? Everybody at school was talking about, "Oh, we're at Cheeseburger Cheeseburger." And I'm like, dude, it sounds like you're talking a different fucking language. What happened at Cheeseburger Cheeseburger?

• 57:02Speaker 03

  Uh, founded in 1986.

• 57:04H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 57:05Speaker 01

  Uh... Oh, there's only two US locations anymore. Sanibel Island, Florida, and Richmond International Airport. Jesus Christ, dude.

• 57:15H. Foley?

  That's all over the map.

• 57:16Speaker 01

  They proudly serve Pepsi products. But there was one in Oxford Valley that like, I mean, this place, it came in like fucking, uh... Like the Beatles, dude. Everybody was talking Cheeseburger Cheeseburger. You gotta go to Cheeseburger Cheeseburger.

• 57:32H. Foley?

  That was PF Chang's at the Plymouth Meeting Mall when they started putting them in the parking lot.

• 57:36Speaker 01

  Same for us.

• 57:36H. Foley?

  Let's go. Everybody. Might as well be in Studio 54.

• 57:41Speaker 01

  Well, I do respect the more heightened versions of, like we said, the Applebee's and Friday's, you know, Storm the Beaches, so these Cheesecake Factories, the PF Chang's.

• 57:53H. Foley?

  Bonefish Grill.

• 57:54Speaker 01

  The Bonefish Grill, the Seasons 52's, or like...

• 57:57H. Foley?

  Harry's? Wasn't there a Harry's?

• 57:59Speaker 01

  There's a Houston's or something too. Well, I just went to, uh, we're buying a bunch of baby stuff, so we're at all these friggin' malls. I went to two different malls, and I gotta tell you, you pull in and it's just Rosa Knight, like, nice casual corporate restaurants. You go, this is fucking, I can get down with this. Let's go look at some strollers, which ain't cheap by the way.

• 58:20H. Foley?

  Go get a table.

• 58:20Speaker 01

  Go get a table. Get a nice fucking baseball steak. Maybe a couple of pot sticks. I love an app.

• 58:27H. Foley?

  Pot stickers are on everybody's menu now.

• 58:30Speaker 01

  If they ain't, you fucking get with the times, you know what I mean, Daddy-O? Oh god, that's alright. Um, alright, this one's from Kippy's jar of Skippy, $10 homie here. Say you're at a Chili's.

• 58:42H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 58:43Speaker 01

  This is how he opens up. Say you're at a Chili's and the table next to you leaves,

• 58:49Speaker 01

  and there is a half pitcher of beer still on the table. How garbage is it to refill your glass from that pitcher?

• 58:56H. Foley?

  Very.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  Very garbage, for sure. And I'm not a guy to do, I don't like other people's stuff. I would be remiss if I would say there wasn't a time when I was at...

• 59:10H. Foley?

  As a college kid, yeah, sure.

• 59:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, the Rich Barrel Pub or something.

• 59:14H. Foley?

  If you're with your family, your uncle gets up.

• 59:16Speaker 01

  Also, what kind of fucking animals are leaving half pitchers of beer? That's two beers, how many people are at that table?

• 59:21H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  You gotta fucking... Who's, and also, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...

• 59:25H. Foley?

  Hey, my throw you out for something like that today, you can't be doing that. Can't go around drinking floaters at a restaurant?

• 59:31Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 59:32H. Foley?

  That's gotta be illegal, you gotta check your ID and shit first.

• 59:34Speaker 01

  No, a floater is unknown. That is some guy's beer. That's different than a floater.

• 59:40H. Foley?

  It's a family floater. Family stuff.

• 59:43Speaker 01

  Also, what, what, what'd you get, a phone call that the dog got hit by a car, you gotta bounce like that? You're having, you ordered a pitcher, you finished the pitcher. That's all I'm frickin' saying.

• 59:51H. Foley?

  Good pitcher of Bud Light sitting there, kidding me? You're nuts.

• 59:54Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, that would be, yeah, I don't know, I don't, I don't know in what world... I would just say do it. It depends. Depends on your age and who you're with, you're with your family, you can't do that, you're with your wife and your kids. You can't do that. You're with the boys, eating half price apps? Think about it.

• 1:00:12H. Foley?

  If you're with your family and you're doing that, you're definitely leaving in separate cars.

• 1:00:17H. Foley?

  That's a dad in a separate car. I'll meet you at home.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  For sure. Uh, alright, we got time for one more here, this is from Nick. Uh, it's a little sentimental.

• 1:00:26H. Foley?

  Love it.

• 1:00:27Speaker 01

  I met my first wi- I fucked up, I met my first wife at a Chili's in my hometown as a waitress. Got married two months later. When she met my parents after the wedding, we found out we were step cousins.

• 1:00:40H. Foley?

  Wait, hold on, take that back.

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  Alright, that is some, that is some, first of all, that is some Chili's ass shit. That would never happen at Applebee's or DJI Friday.

• 1:00:48H. Foley?

  Start again.

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  Definitely not the Cheesecake Factory. I met my first wife at a Chili's in my hometown as a waitress.

• 1:00:54H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  So I want to know where this was. We got married two months later.

• 1:00:57H. Foley?

  Two months?

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  Man. Two months to a Chili's waitress?

• 1:01:02H. Foley?

  She must have been a dime piece.

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  Woo wee!

• 1:01:05H. Foley?

  Throw it all away.

• 1:01:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:06H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 1:01:07Speaker 01

  Let's take, dude, that's, that's one where you're like, I'll get you out of here. You're getting stopped, you know what I mean? There's, there's delusions of granger there.

• 1:01:14H. Foley?

  For sure.

• 1:01:15Speaker 01

  Met my first wife at a Chili's at my hometown as a waitress, got married two months later. When she met my parents after the wedding, we found out we were step cousins.

• 1:01:24H. Foley?

  Met my parents.

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  After the wedding.

• 1:01:26H. Foley?

  That's nuts.

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  Which means...

• 1:01:28H. Foley?

  They eloped.

• 1:01:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:29H. Foley?

  To a courthouse.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  But they didn't like...

• 1:01:31H. Foley?

  The parents didn't meet her before they got married. Man, that's a, that's a Chili's romance right there.

• 1:01:37Speaker 01

  I'm like, it's also, how else did you think that was? That is like the most Chili's shit ever.

• 1:01:41H. Foley?

  That's your sister!

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  Step cousin. So what if step cousin would be?

• 1:01:46H. Foley?

  Step cousin would be...

• 1:01:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I have step cousins.

• 1:01:49H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:49Speaker 01

  Who were attractive.

• 1:01:50H. Foley?

  That's not blood related. There's nothing wrong with that.

• 1:01:52Speaker 01

  There's nothing right with it.

• 1:01:53H. Foley?

  I mean...

• 1:01:54Speaker 01

  You can't do that.

• 1:01:56H. Foley?

  Sure. Hey.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  Not ha-

• 1:01:59H. Foley?

  Double the food, double the fun.

• 1:02:01Speaker 01

  Double the pleasure, baby. Double the cousins. Alright, we gotta wrap it up, gang.

• 1:02:05H. Foley?

  Ah, what a fun one. Gang, we love you to death. Please, if you haven't, check out the Route 66 Tours on the YouTube page. Um, we love ya. See you next week.

• 1:02:15Speaker 01

  Peace!

• 1:02:15H. Foley?

  Peace.