BJ Tips, Anal, and Uncircumcised Guys feat. Shaun Galanos

If you couldn't tell by the title, we have a very wholesome episode for you with love coach Shaun Galanos! We're answering all those burning sex questions you may not feel comfortable asking in the group chat – what do you do with an uncircumcised penis, how do you get into anal, what should you call guys in bed, and how do you get your partner to initiate sex more? We're also talking about Shaun's background and his intriguing past as a sensual masseur, plus we're breaking down a recent sexual encounter Rayna had (and its logistics), and discussing why bald guys give better oral. Before Shaun joins us, we're debating some hot topics (what foods go in the fridge vs. on the counter, zip fly vs. button fly), and we break down the facts/risks when it comes to lip flips/filler and oral sex. Enjoy! Follow Shaun on instagram @thelovedrive, read his substack, and listen to his podcast We Can Do Better. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Skims: Shop Skims best intimates at https://skims.com/gge and in stores. Addyi: Learn more at https://addyi.com. Liquid IV: Get 20% off your first order at https://liquidiv.com with code GGE. Helix: Get 27% off plus 2 free pillows at https://helixsleep.com/GGE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Rayna Greenberg?

  There's only two episodes we've ever not aired. That was one of them.

• 0:02Speaker 01

  Wow. And this one being the second one?

• 0:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I just want to get you comfortable with the notion this isn't coming out, you know?

• 0:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  This podcast is a Dear Media production.

• 0:28Rayna Greenberg?

  Hi, guys.

• 0:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Hi, guys.

• 0:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat.

• 0:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Spicy episode.

• 0:33Rayna Greenberg?

  We have a horny ass episode today. I was like, was that the horniest interview we've done?

• 0:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  For you, maybe.

• 0:39Rayna Greenberg?

  You were a little horny? Get out of here.

• 0:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  I was tangentially horny for you.

• 0:44Rayna Greenberg?

  You didn't feel like the topics are so spicy?

• 0:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  Super horny.

• 0:46Rayna Greenberg?

  You did like anal and dicks and I mean, oh, my dirty talk. Sexy, like new room massage? No, that's like when you lube your whole body up.

• 0:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  What is that?

• 0:56Rayna Greenberg?

  New room massage. It's like a

• 0:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  What are you saying?

• 0:59Rayna Greenberg?

  New room massage.

• 1:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  New room?

• 1:00Rayna Greenberg?

  New ru.

• 1:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  New ru?

• 1:02Rayna Greenberg?

  New ru.

• 1:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like N U R U?

• 1:05Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, it's a porn category of like massages where people like lube their whole bodies up and just like slide around.

• 1:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  We should sponsor that with our lube.

• 1:14Rayna Greenberg?

  The porn category?

• 1:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  We should do an event.

• 1:19Rayna Greenberg?

  We just, there's massage tables all over. You had to just squirt all over your body and see if you could survive.

• 1:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Remember the Jell-O wrestling in old school?

• 1:26Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, I thought you meant like in college.

• 1:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. I never did it.

• 1:29Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't think I did it. I was drunk a lot, though.

• 1:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, just doing that privately.

• 1:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Robin.

• 1:37Rayna Greenberg?

  I've actually been secretly lying to you if I'm like, Brina likes, you're always like, Brina likes tubs. I'm like, so I can do Jell-O wrestling? At the top.

• 1:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, it's a really good episode and we can't wait for you guys to hear it.

• 1:49Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. All right. Well, we'll thank a couple of our partners and then we'll jump right in. Thanks to Helix. Get 27% off plus two free pillows at helixsleep.com/gg and Skims. Shop Skims. Best intimates at skims.com and in stores.

• 2:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  And thank you to Addy. Learn more at addyi.com and Liquid IV. Get 20% off your first order at liquidiv.com with code

• 2:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Code GGE. What's up?

• 2:11Rayna Greenberg?

  I just, you said you wanted to debate something with me and then I keep thinking of other stuff I wanted to debate with you. You know what you and I talked about the other day, which is not like dating or sex related, but like, do you know your license plate number?

• 2:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:21Rayna Greenberg?

  I've been wanting, I've been meaning to like ask people this for years. Cause I don't know my license plate number and I realized this because I had to end, I had to input it into like a parking thing.

• 2:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 2:30Rayna Greenberg?

  And I was doing it and I was like, when I ask this, is it going to be a resounding like, what do you mean? You don't know your license plate number? But like, I don't know what normal behavior is. Also, I didn't own a car until my mid 30s.

• 2:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right. Like I remember my, like one from high school, but

• 2:46Rayna Greenberg?

  You do?

• 2:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, we, I had like a black plate with like a low number. You know, there's a whole Delaware license plate culture.

• 2:52Rayna Greenberg?

  No.

• 2:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, one night we talked about at dinner, remember? And then I started sending you guys articles about it. In Delaware, it's like the number one is, goes to the governor and that gets passed down governor to governor. And then there's, I don't know, maybe there's someone else, two, three, whatever, but like low plates are like crazy high value. And then they're like black plates. Yeah.

• 3:12Rayna Greenberg?

  When it starts with a one?

• 3:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, just like lower digits, like a four digit license plate. This might be other states too, but not every state has like license plate culture. Like I had like a black plate in high school. I was like, I'm an icon.

• 3:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Did you request it?

• 3:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  It was in the family.

• 3:28Rayna Greenberg?

  It was passed down from generation to generation.

• 3:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's still in the family. It's like on my dad's car now.

• 3:33Rayna Greenberg?

  And he's going to give it to your nephews.

• 3:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Maybe. When they get the extera, can you imagine?

• 3:39Rayna Greenberg?

  But you can get, I don't think that exists in Pennsylvania or in California, a four digit license plate number? Like, aren't they seven or eight?

• 3:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's what I'm saying. So it's rare. So, I mean, you can Google this, like, I mean, again, there might be other states. I don't think that we're that special. I do, I do think Delaware is very special, but people will auction them off and stuff.

• 3:57Rayna Greenberg?

  I, I get it though. Like a special license plate.

• 4:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 4:00Rayna Greenberg?

  And you guys have one in the family. It's a family heirloom.

• 4:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, so Delaware's license plate culture centers around low number plates, which are highly sought after and can be worth thousands of dollars. The plates are considered a symbol of prestige and can be passed down through generations. Literally, we have one in my family. I mean, so the first three numbers are reserved for the governor, lieutenant governor, and secretary of state. The remaining numbers are assigned to vehicle owners in perpetuity. Vehicle owners can transfer their plates to others, so they're super scarce, valuable. They indicate political clout. That's my family. I'm just kidding. You know, we're like low-key Kennedys.

• 4:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, your brother is like the mayor of Dewey Beach.

• 4:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  They can be purchased at auction when they become available to the public. They can be inherited as heirlooms. Delaware is the only state that allows private manufacture of plates for legal registration purposes. Delaware is the only place to keep porcelain plates in the modern era. We don't have porcelain, guys, I don't know. Delaware is the only state with non-standard-sized plates in current use.

• 4:57Rayna Greenberg?

  But like, you can order like a special plate that says like that, bish.

• 5:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, like a vanity plate?

• 5:02Rayna Greenberg?

  You can order a vanity plate that has four numbers, so this doesn't count as a family heirloom if you've ordered it and you didn't just get handed it. You know what I mean?

• 5:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, the numbers are done. Like, you can't just be like, "I want like 5467." Like, that's someone's out there, it's worth thousands of dollars, it's probably been passed down generations.

• 5:16Rayna Greenberg?

  Uh huh.

• 5:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, you could order one that it says like, "I'm that bitch," or whatever. Like, I don't know.

• 5:22Rayna Greenberg?

  It's like-

• 5:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  "I'm that bitch" is probably taken.

• 5:24Rayna Greenberg?

  B-I-S-A-H. Somebody has that, right?

• 5:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  So, I mean, I pretty much know mine. I can like visualize it, like 9UW. I don't know, but I guess like gun to my head, I don't think I could tell you it.

• 5:37Rayna Greenberg?

  I couldn't tell you a single number or letter.

• 5:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh.

• 5:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Not one, and I entered it into a machine the other day. I don't, no clue. I was sitting there like, "Why would I need this information literally ever?" But like, I'm in my car all day, every day. I walk up to like, how have I not, through osmosis, digested this information?

• 5:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, but yeah, but then, I mean, do you know my phone number?

• 5:55Rayna Greenberg?

  I know the first six digits. And I learned this the other day because I was outside of the gate with Melanie and I realized I forgot my phone and I needed to get in touch with you, and so Melanie had to text you.

• 6:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 6:06Rayna Greenberg?

  But I couldn't even tell you what some of the digits are in the last four. Do you know mine?

• 6:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Um, no.

• 6:12Rayna Greenberg?

  None of them? None of the numbers?

• 6:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  The first three.

• 6:15Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 6:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Maybe the first six?

• 6:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Or the second three, 626? There is not a 6 in the whole thing.

• 6:25Rayna Greenberg?

  You know what I always wanted, I would have died for, was a 212 number. In New York, they're so elite, and I didn't think you could even get them anymore, but you can buy one. You heard it here first, 212, you can buy them now.

• 6:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  And Delaware, the whole state is one area code. 302, 302 for life. Okay, so what I wanted to discuss with you is,

• 6:44Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 6:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  I got a butter dish this morning.

• 6:48Rayna Greenberg?

  What's a butter, okay, you finish.

• 6:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  So, I feel like there's two types of people who keep their butter in the fridge and keep their butter out room temp.

• 7:00Rayna Greenberg?

  You did something this morning?

• 7:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  My butter dish arrived.

• 7:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  So.

• 7:08Rayna Greenberg?

  I was like, well, I was ever slaving away over the outlet cover.

• 7:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  So, this morning.

• 7:12Rayna Greenberg?

  You were shopping for butter dish.

• 7:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  This morning, when I was churning my own butter. No, I grew up in like a room temp butter household. So, we, my mom had, do you remember Longa Burger?

• 7:23Rayna Greenberg?

  No.

• 7:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  It was like, um, these baskets, before my mom started weaving her own baskets, she would get these like Longa Burger baskets, and it was probably an MLM. It was probably, but they, she would have parties and stuff. And we had like, a lot of the dishes and bowls and stuff too, with a lot of the kitchenware. And it was this like Longa Burger butter dish, but we had room temp butter, which is always, it's ready to go, it's ready to spread.

• 7:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Do you flip it over in the water?

• 7:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  What water?

• 7:49Rayna Greenberg?

  You just have like butter sitting out on a plate?

• 7:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's in a butter dish.

• 7:53Rayna Greenberg?

  But it's covered.

• 7:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's a cover.

• 7:55Rayna Greenberg?

  But like, regular butter dishes, you put it into this little thing, and then you flip it over upside down, and then it is supposed to like seal it.

• 8:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  No idea what you're talking about. I have a, it's like, uh, like wood, the butter sits on it, last top.

• 8:07Rayna Greenberg?

  The little cloche on the top.

• 8:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 8:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 8:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  So now I'm just always ready to butter something.

• 8:12Rayna Greenberg?

  How often do you butter a thing?

• 8:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, I eat a lot of toast. And so, I just, like, I was wondering, I feel like people think that's crazy. People are like, no, butter stays in the fridge.

• 8:23Rayna Greenberg?

  Listen, people have been doing it for years. And so, I know it is like, it's fine, I guess you can do it, I'm not a doctor or scientist, maybe I'll get a cabinet position. I'm like, I have absolutely no qualifications, you should. Hire me. But I know that people do it and it does improve the consistency is incredible. It's just my mind goes like dairy refrigerator.

• 8:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  So yes, then I looked it up and I just, I don't think you're supposed to keep like a stick of butter out for like weeks at a time or in a really warm climate, you know, but like it's always cold in my house. We live in California. It's always cold here. Like, and I'm just, I like having butter at the ready.

• 8:56Rayna Greenberg?

  It's a great consistency. I mean, nothing makes me more sad when I'm trying to butter something.

• 8:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Thank you.

• 9:00Rayna Greenberg?

  A hard rock of fat.

• 9:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Thank you. What are you supposed to do?

• 9:03Rayna Greenberg?

  What am I supposed to do? And you can't microwave it because it just turns to liquid. I'm not trying to fuck with that consistency either.

• 9:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Exactly, exactly.

• 9:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Nothing is better than room temp butter.

• 9:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, I think there's a few things that I insist on being room temp that people would probably put in the fridge and nothing bad has happened to me yet.

• 9:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Like what?

• 9:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Cake. You're not supposed to refrigerate cake.

• 9:20Rayna Greenberg?

  No, I'm with you on that. Okay. I'm with you on that.

• 9:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Cake sits out.

• 9:23Rayna Greenberg?

  Pastries in general, desserts, pie. I don't.

• 9:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 9:26Rayna Greenberg?

  Out of the fridge.

• 9:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Exactly, exactly.

• 9:28Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 9:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  So anyway, just mainly cake and butter.

• 9:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, but like. Okay. What about, what about a vegetable? Okay. What about an onion?

• 9:39Rayna Greenberg?

  I do think that onions, garlic, I think all vegetables can be left out.

• 9:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 9:43Rayna Greenberg?

  You just have to eat them quickly, but some vegetables, so like avocados will ripen better if they're left out. Onions and garlic can be left out for all the live long day.

• 9:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Tomatoes. Don't put a tomato in the fridge, you guys. Here's something I kind of like, not a lot of people are doing this. Sometimes, sometimes I'll put a banana in the fridge.

• 10:01Rayna Greenberg?

  Bananas are a countertop item for me.

• 10:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  They're usually countertop, but if they start to get a little brown, I throw them in the fridge and I weirdly like a cold banana.

• 10:09Rayna Greenberg?

  I like a brown banana. So, no, I'm lying. I don't, I like a green banana. I like them hard and raw. That's how I like them.

• 10:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  So funny. I was like, ew.

• 10:19Rayna Greenberg?

  Like if you.

• 10:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  With the spots?

• 10:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, that's disgusting.

• 10:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  If you like a sour banana, you like a green of sour.

• 10:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Sour ass banana. Was I with you the other day? I was with somebody and they were like, this is inedible. And I was like, that is the perfect banana.

• 10:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  You like it rock hard.

• 10:35Rayna Greenberg?

  If it can fuck you, that's how I want to eat it.

• 10:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  Guys, let us know in the comments if you are RoomTempl butter, cold butter, or green or brown banana.

• 10:45Rayna Greenberg?

  I think that all produce can be left out.

• 10:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 10:48Rayna Greenberg?

  Right?

• 10:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I think so.

• 10:50Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't know that there's like, you have to, okay, let me ask you. I have a couple more of these and we're gonna pivot to clothing.

• 10:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  The fact that we said this was gonna be a horny episode.

• 10:58Rayna Greenberg?

  We're like.

• 10:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  And they're like, so anyway, do you guys leave your vegetables out?

• 11:01Rayna Greenberg?

  All right, let me hit you with this next one. Condiments, which go in the cabinet, which go in the fridge, because I refrigerate soy sauce, which I don't think most people do. I think most people have soy sauce as a cabinet item.

• 11:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Soy sauce cabinet, I guess I don't care. I've seen like, heavy debates about this on the internet. Like, I forget who posted a clip of like, mustard in the fridge, and it was a couple, I wish I could remember, and he was like, no, I keep the mustard, doesn't need to be refrigerated. And she was like, you're a psycho, mustard goes in the fridge.

• 11:31Rayna Greenberg?

  To me, my brain goes, you've opened this bottle, put it in the fridge. Like, the only thing I don't refrigerate is like, oil, vinegar.

• 11:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 11:39Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, stuff that you also want at RoomTempl. Like, I want those things cold, mustard and ketchup.

• 11:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, how about when there's like, a big display of Parmesan cheese at the grocery store? It hasn't been sealed, it's a chunk that they wrapped in some Saran Wrap and put a price on it. Why does that get to sit out?

• 11:57Rayna Greenberg?

  So, cheese is very specific because of the way that it's aged.

• 12:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 12:01Rayna Greenberg?

  So, cheese, it's just, it's supposed to be aged, and so it sits out, mold is like, very normal to cheese. Blue cheese is, is cheese that's had mold injected into it.

• 12:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  But no one has their blue cheese in the cabinet.

• 12:11Rayna Greenberg?

  But also, that cheese is usually in a refrigerator section. It's not just sitting out warm, but cheese specifically, Parmesan cheese specifically, it can just sit out, it gets better with age, it gets those crunchies.

• 12:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 12:23Rayna Greenberg?

  But like, I don't think, I don't think there's a shelf life, right? So you could leave it out for two days, three days.

• 12:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 12:28Rayna Greenberg?

  And then you guys start fucking with that refrigerator again.

• 12:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, well, you guys are welcome, but yeah, I'm really excited about my butter dish. We ordered an air fryer, hybrid toaster.

• 12:36Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 12:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oven.

• 12:37Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm excited to see what you think about the air fryer and if you ever use it. It's one of those things that's so gigantic.

• 12:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's so big. I thought we had like a compact one. It does flip up. So it's a space saver, but I'm like, this is so huge.

• 12:49Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, it's enormous.

• 12:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think this is why people don't get them. They're like, I don't have the counter space for that.

• 12:52Rayna Greenberg?

  Imagine in New York City getting an air fryer. Do you remember bread makers had like such a moment?

• 12:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my God.

• 12:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Bread makers, you're like, it's fun for two days and you're like, I don't really need a bread maker. But like air fryers, some people use them every day.

• 13:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, people are into them.

• 13:05Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, I have my next topic for you to do.

• 13:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 13:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Then we can choose some like other stuff, but okay. So I was looking at your pants because we were both wearing these like cute jeans.

• 13:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 13:12Rayna Greenberg?

  And you were like, oh.

• 13:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  Your cute jeans.

• 13:14Rayna Greenberg?

  Huh?

• 13:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Do you know that reference?

• 13:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Of course it is the Kardashians. I saw it this morning.

• 13:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  That episode?

• 13:21Rayna Greenberg?

  No, I saw that, just a meme of it.

• 13:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Someone posted? Yeah. Okay, yeah. It's a deep cut, but like one time I said, "your cute jeans" to someone and they like didn't know. And I was like, forget it. It's, you're not even gonna, just forget it.

• 13:32Rayna Greenberg?

  It's Kendall and Chris talking and she was like, "your cute, your jeans are so cute." And she's like, "your cute jeans."

• 13:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I think so.

• 13:39Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, I want to talk about the fly on jeans.

• 13:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 13:42Rayna Greenberg?

  More than half of my jeans have a button fly and I do not understand this. Who looked at a pair of jeans and it was like, you know what we should do is make this harder to put on and get off?

• 13:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  I hate it.

• 13:51Rayna Greenberg?

  What? There has to be a reason for it, right? It's, I'm assuming it's harder to install than a zipper because you've got to do like five of them. It's probably more expensive, a little bit more installing five snaps than one zipper. And it certainly doesn't make it an easier thing to use.

• 14:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, I think my jeans that have buttons are more fupa jeans. They're not smooth.

• 14:12Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 14:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, I mean, I, I'm not even saying it's because of the buttons, but for whatever reason, like every pair of jeans that I feel like gives that more fupa vibe has a button fly.

• 14:22Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 14:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  You're gonna break a nail. It's a crime.

• 14:25Rayna Greenberg?

  But like, why are we doing this? Who's like, oh, what we should do is take, take pants that are already super uncomfortable.

• 14:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 14:32Rayna Greenberg?

  That to sit in, to do anything and let's make it worse.

• 14:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 14:35Rayna Greenberg?

  And that first button at the bottom, I mean, I have the longest fingernails. It takes me an hour to get into that.

• 14:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right. And if you're trying to squeeze into them, like that is a embarrassing moment. Like if you're really squeezing into some. Like tight jeans, which I love to do it. You know what I mean? They stretch out a little during the day. Like that is, that feels nice to zip up. Like when you're trying to pull jeans over your stomach and you have to button them, you better hope no one else is in the room.

• 14:59Rayna Greenberg?

  It's certainly not a time saver.

• 15:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 15:00Rayna Greenberg?

  And it's embarrassing to do it.

• 15:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know. I'm with you.

• 15:02Rayna Greenberg?

  I was wondering, I was wondering if other people were like, no, I love it.

• 15:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love a button fly.

• 15:06Rayna Greenberg?

  It just, it really scoops me up and just like seals everything in there.

• 15:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm not into it.

• 15:10Rayna Greenberg?

  I hate it.

• 15:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 15:11Rayna Greenberg?

  It's my new campaign.

• 15:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. So we got a question that we wanted to talk about and we were like, we're not going to talk about this with Sean, but we asked our listeners different questions and this one came up and I was so excited to talk about it.

• 15:21Rayna Greenberg?

  It was about taboo sex questions.

• 15:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 15:23Rayna Greenberg?

  Which is what we're doing with him today.

• 15:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes. So we got the question, will getting a lip flip affect your blowjob skills?

• 15:30Rayna Greenberg?

  So let's explain what a lip flip is.

• 15:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes. I have a lip flip. I have had lip flips consistently for a year and a half, maybe. And it is just a little bit of botox or Daxify. I get Daxify right at the top of your lip. And it makes your lip flip up a little bit. So people get it as a alternative or a gateway into lip filler. I don't have any lip filler, but my top lip disappears a little bit when I smile. I felt like I have a little bit of a gummy or smile and I don't want to get lip filler. So that's my alternative. So it wears off fairly quickly because you use your mouth all the time. You're talking, you're laughing.

• 16:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Eating.

• 16:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Eating, yes. And so again, they just do like six units total. I think it's like three and three. And it just kind of, I mean, it makes your lip not curl up as much and just kind of makes it appear to be fuller.

• 16:21Rayna Greenberg?

  So this girl, and I think it's like a pretty normal question. Like if you're going to paralyze the top of your lip, does it, does it make it hard to suck a dick?

• 16:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  So I'd love to just even talk about what happens in general. Like you shouldn't really have complications when you get a good one. You know, typically like you shouldn't, it shouldn't affect your life that much, but you'll notice as it starts to set in, if you, again, Daxify starts working a little bit sooner than botox, but whatever you get done, once it kind of starts to settle in, when you like. Spit something out like you're when you're brushing your teeth, you're it feels weird. Like it feels like you don't have as much control of your lip sucking on a straw is a little bit more difficult. Like you do have, I guess, like less mobility, but then it settles in and it's fine, but you do notice that a little bit, but some people have complications with it. I guess everybody's different, but I've seen even things on Tik Tok where this girl was like,

• 17:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  I can't drink out of a straw anymore. And I drink iced coffee every day and this is, you know, affecting my life. And some people in the comments were like, you didn't get a good one, but everybody's different, but it really shouldn't affect your dick sucking too much. You shouldn't be doing so, so much with that top lip and it's, you know, a dick is bigger than a straw. Like when you're sucking a straw, you're like pursing your lips.

• 17:33Rayna Greenberg?

  That's what I thought. Straws are so usually so much different size than a penis. Yeah. So like you're using more facial muscles to suck a dick.

• 17:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 17:40Rayna Greenberg?

  You're just like the, it's more of my jaw that's and like the sides of my cheeks when I'm sucking a dick than like the top of my mouth working. Whereas a straw, you gotta get really good in there.

• 17:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  You're like bearing down. Yeah. And like even when you spit that water out when you're brushing your teeth or your toothpaste out, you're like, like that spitting motion. Like you have a wider open mouth when you're sucking a dick. But then I got in this hole about lip filler and sucking dick.

• 18:03Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 18:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  They do say you should wait a little bit after getting lip filler to suck dick.

• 18:08Rayna Greenberg?

  What's a little bit? Like, cause when you get lip filler, I've never had it. It's like, it's the one thing in my body that's perfect is my lips. You swell up a lot. Most people like balloon up and I'm assuming it's not going to be pleasant for you. It hurts. So.

• 18:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Don't Google lip filler blowjob because you'll just get Pornhub coming up. So I found this article. I don't know if I can vouch for it, but it just says, well, BJ's ruined my lip filler injections. And it says that if you really suck a lot of dick, it could deflate them a little bit.

• 18:41Rayna Greenberg?

  What? But why would it deflate them? I would be worried it would displace the filler. You know, some people have that let ridge at the top of their lips and you can tell that it's filler because it doesn't actually go to the lip line.

• 18:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  So it says your lips need a little bit of time to properly heal and allow the filler to settle in. They say wait three to five days post-injection before you suck dick, post-lip filler.

• 19:02Rayna Greenberg?

  Wow.

• 19:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, I think that's fine.

• 19:04Rayna Greenberg?

  I would worry about it displacing the filler.

• 19:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 19:07Rayna Greenberg?

  I just, I would want it to settle where, I mean, I have plenty of friends that get lip filler and they suck dick all the time. I've never heard this complaint. But it's just like anything, you gotta get used to it. You gotta be a little careful. People always, and my nails are pretty long and people are always like, what's it like typing with that? And I'm just like, it has never crossed my mind in 20 years what it's like to type with fake nails. I just, that's just how I'm living.

• 19:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So lip flip really shouldn't affect your dick sucking too much unless you're with a guy who has the dick the size of a straw.

• 19:34Rayna Greenberg?

  Uh huh. And then in which case, yes.

• 19:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  And then which case it could, which you're probably not putting in your mouth anyway. I don't know.

• 19:41Rayna Greenberg?

  Doing God's work.

• 19:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  And if you are, you're really doing the Lord's work. But yeah, I mean, it changes a little. I just, I, I love it so much and I recommend it if you feel like you have a little thinner top lip and you don't want to get lip filler, but it is so painful.

• 19:58Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, I watch you do it and it's hard to say.

• 20:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's so quick that it's like over, but it is the most painful place I've ever gotten that type of injection.

• 20:08Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, you know me, I numb up like crazy. I've taken laughing gas. I don't get that done, but just to get any kind of injectables. Filler, like, I mean, you have left the doctor's office with me. It doesn't matter how great the doctors, and you and I are lucky to like have great doctors in our lives, but like, I get so upset and worked up. I get, I start to like panic. So I need like laughing gas, everything.

• 20:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  And then lip filler, again, I've never gotten it. I can't speak on it. I do hear it's painful. And then a friend of ours had to get hers dissolved and she said it was the most painful thing she's ever experienced in her life.

• 20:38Rayna Greenberg?

  Which is so interesting because they like, they always numb you. I mean, laughing gas is rare. I don't think that like most doctors are passing out laughing gas, but most people numb you and then it's still so bad. You know, it sounds so bad to me, though. Have you listened to any interviews with Pete Davidson talking about taking his tattoos off?

• 20:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  No.

• 20:54Rayna Greenberg?

  You know, he's like almost through taking his tattoos off.

• 20:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like all of them?

• 20:58Rayna Greenberg?

  All of them.

• 20:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  No.

• 20:59Rayna Greenberg?

  And he said that like, there's like a process by which, yes, tattoo removal in general.

• 21:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  I heard it's the most painful.

• 21:04Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, I've watched it done. The smell is so nauseating. It looks unbearable and you gotta do it like, I don't know, everybody's skin's different and black tattoos can be like harder, like I, I'm, don't quote, six times you gotta do it and they're burning your flesh off.

• 21:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like they're extracting like permanent ink from your body. I mean, it's gotta be a horror scene.

• 21:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes. And he was tattooed, I mean, up to his fucking eyeballs.

• 21:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  I didn't realize he was getting them all removed.

• 21:30Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes. And he was talking about it.

• 21:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  He just likes the pain at that point.

• 21:33Rayna Greenberg?

  Just Google it, you guys. It's on some, it's a recent appearance on some talk show at night. But yeah, he said, you, you go through this process, you gotta do it like, he said, like 10 more times. I just, every time I get a tattoo, I'm like, I really hope I want this. And there's a couple that I would love to take off. I have a crown on my thigh, which I would love to take off and I edited it out of photos.

• 21:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's so easy to edit.

• 21:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 21:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's an easy edit.

• 21:53Rayna Greenberg?

  But it's the smell and the sound and the pain are too, I'm a fucking pussy about pain.

• 21:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, that's the thing. I mean, like, I understand. People get tattoos. They want them taken off. And I think some people think like, I'll just get it removed. It's like, not that easy.

• 22:06Rayna Greenberg?

  No, absolutely not. It's not like an earring. You just take it out. It closes up.

• 22:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. Or not like, you know, laser hair removal. Different vibes.

• 22:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, we're about to.

• 22:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  We're on our journey, you guys. Stay tuned.

• 22:15Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm excited. Okay. And then there's one thing I want to talk to you about before we get into the episode. How is Wedding Planner going?

• 22:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Wedding planning is going really great. We are down to two venues.

• 22:26Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 22:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  We know the date. It's the date I wanted.

• 22:28Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 22:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  And we are deciding, but I really wanted to talk about my wedding planner because I'm just having the best experience with her. And her name's Jacqueline and she is the owner of The Wedding Plan and Company. And that is theweddingplanandco.com. And I had met her through a friend, through our friend Taylor. This was, I think, 2021 and we went to this party. You were, you were in LA that day and you left.

• 22:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I'd been, I had been in LA for two weeks. It was time to go home.

• 22:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And we ended up going to this party and it was kind of like, you know, like things were just starting to get back to normal. Post-COVID and this woman was there and I just like loved her vibe and we hung out with her for the rest of the day. And Taylor was like, she's like this amazing wedding planner and she does weddings like all over, you know, east coast, west coast, wherever. And I just always had her in mind and we've been following each other and she saw that I got engaged and we just got on a call and I was like, she's the one. Like I want you, everything she said, you know, you, you see how people like run their business and they like get you. I mean, this is something you need somebody to get you, get your vibe.

• 23:25Rayna Greenberg?

  This is how I feel about our marketing company for vibes and we've gone through so many people. You just want to like be on the phone with somebody and you're just like, they get it.

• 23:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  You get it. Yeah. I even said, I was like, she reminds me of Ashley Pollard, who like runs the marketing company that we use. And just like the way she structures her business too, in like an honest way. And I think a lot of people get taken advantage of and planning weddings because everything's like, you know, obviously the prices are so inflated and things like that. And so she really got my vibe and she's been on it. And I've just loved working with her and then we're going to have her on the podcast. So closer to the wedding, down the road, she'll come on, we'll ask her all the questions and I'm so excited. We'll see what you guys want to know. We've never had a wedding planner on.

• 24:04Rayna Greenberg?

  We also haven't had a wedding episode in a long time. I'm really excited.

• 24:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 24:07Rayna Greenberg?

  It'll be great.

• 24:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  So she is actually doing my wedding herself, which I feel so blessed. But in the company, there are like 15 wedding planners and assistants and I trust that they're all wonderful. The teams are based in Newark, New Jersey and also LA, but they do weddings all over, of course. I mean, if you guys are looking for a wedding planner at The Wedding Plan and Company, I just wanted to plug them because I'm having like such an incredible experience. And you know, I went into it like I kind, I know what I want, but I don't know even the, the name of one like venue, you know, especially here in LA. And she's shot back all these options and she even presented ones and she was like, listen, hear me out. And like kind of cool out of the box type thing. And I've just been so thrilled. And so, you know, she's wonderful, they're wonderful. Check them out.

• 24:48Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, it's just, there's so many ideas that not you, you specifically, but you plural like have and it's like, Raw spaces, sound really cool, but you don't think about like how much money it is to like bus in all the equipment and staff and well, my mom picked everything, but yeah, I planned a wedding. But that was like my dream, like we'll just get this raw space. How cool is it? It's like, are you ready to hire 10 different vendors?

• 25:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 25:09Rayna Greenberg?

  Like I, I like what you're looking at because they just, it's turnkey. They do weddings every single weekend. They're great at it. That's what they specialize in. Their kitchen specializes in it, you know?

• 25:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  And you know what's very funny? Like, so I had a call with her and again, I've, I've met her and I decided I wanted to work with her. We wanted to work with her and then we had a Zoom with me and her and my fiance. And like, I've never been on like a Zoom with him.

• 25:33Rayna Greenberg?

  That is funny.

• 25:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like this is before he moved here. It was like a business type energy. Like I've never sent him a Zoom link.

• 25:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Isn't that so funny?

• 25:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's like, it's weirdly funny. And like, he came into the Zoom and like introduced himself. I was like, you're being so hot. Like I kind of saw him in like almost a work environment.

• 25:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 25:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Where he introduced himself on a Zoom and I was like, babe, you stop. You're turning me on.

• 25:56Rayna Greenberg?

  That's so funny. The first time you see your partner on a Zoom, it's been like years. I sort of like that the first time you email somebody like.

• 26:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh my God. The first time I emailed him, I was like, what's your email address? It's so weird.

• 26:08Rayna Greenberg?

  It's so weird when it comes up and like the, when you are dating somebody, it's all sexy. And then you're like, what's your email address? I'll send it to you. I've dated people probably for six months before I emailed them something.

• 26:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So it was just, it was cute to see him on the, the Zoom with her and he and I are just very aligned. And she's been along on the journey, but she's partially on the East Coast or she hasn't been with us every tour, but she sets me up. And then we voice note her after just like stream of consciousness. Here's exactly what we're thinking. And you know, she's really working it out. And so I'm so thrilled to like have her on and like really get into it with her when we eventually do.

• 26:45Rayna Greenberg?

  All right. Well, stay tuned, you guys.

• 26:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's going well. Yeah. And I was like, you don't have to worry about officiant. Like when I went through the menu of services, I'm like, we don't need officiant, video, photo. DJ, music, leave that to me.

• 26:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Ashley's gonna do it.

• 27:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Tessa will advance the wedding.

• 27:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, Tessa does our shows.

• 27:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 27:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 27:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, Tessa, you'll DJ it. You'll DJ the whole event.

• 27:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Can you imagine? Okay.

• 27:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, we have a great episode for you guys. We're really excited. We're just going to quickly thank some partners and then get ready to get horny.

• 27:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. This show is sponsored by Liquid IV. A perfect segue because when I eventually do any sort of welcome gifts for the guests of my wedding, those will be in the welcome bags. I said this before, but when I had my 40th birthday and I made everyone little welcome bags, that was like the first thing I went out and got was to put Liquid IV in them. So we've just been using this product for years and it really is such a great way to get extra, extra hydrated. So if that's a goal of yours, it should always be a goal that you want to stay hydrated and just feel better. We just love Liquid IV and they are these packets that you just dump into a glass of water. I really like to use ice cold water and then just shake it up, stir it up and just drink it and that's going to keep you really hydrated. We love their different flavors.

• 28:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love the lemon lime. The lemon lime and the guava are my favorite. They also have sugar-free raspberry lemonade, which people really love. That's going to be a nice raspberry citrusy taste. So again, the benefits are going to be staying hydrated during long days, especially if you want, it gets hot outside and you're outside, you play sports, if you work out, whatever. If you wake up and you're just feeling kind of sluggish, that's a great time to take it. Again, the true to fruit flavors are going to be really delicious and those sugar-free flavors as well. So you can break the mold and own your ritual. Just one stick plus 16 ounce of water hydrates better than water alone. Powered by live hydro science and optimized ratio of electrolytes, essential vitamins, and clinically tested nutrients that turn ordinary water into extraordinary hydration. Three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink, eight essential vitamins and

• 28:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  nutrients, always non-GMO, vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free, and soy-free. So we love it. You guys should check it out. Embrace your ritual with extraordinary hydration from Liquid IV. Get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use code GGE at checkout. That's 20% off your first order when you shop better hydration today using promo code GGE at liquidiv.com.

• 29:07Rayna Greenberg?

  All right. And the perfect sponsor for this episode, mattresses. Helix is in every single bedroom in my house, Ashley's house, Ashley's family's house. I just, I love these mattresses. You go to the Helix website and you just take a quiz about all of your preferences. Do you sleep next to somebody? Are you a hot sleeper? Are you big and tall? What do you like out of your mattress? And then they prescribe a mattress for you. It takes two seconds. And every day I get in bed and I cannot believe how comfy my mattress is. I just roll around on that thing like, oh, I'm so lucky. Nothing is more important to me than sleep. I need eight hours. If I don't get it, the whole day is shot. And I just love sleeping on my Helix mattress. I also tend to like roll around. I like to back sleep sometimes, front sleep. I love getting boob jobs, so I do have to sleep on my back sometimes. I just, I'm a huge fan. Helps me sleep better,

• 29:51Rayna Greenberg?

  helps me wake up better. Love, love, love Helix. Love their pillows. Every single bedroom in my house.

• 29:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  The pillows.

• 29:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Can't get enough of them.

• 29:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, again, I said this before, when I had evacuated, I was like sleeping in different people's houses. I brought my pillow with me. It really matters.

• 30:04Rayna Greenberg?

  It matters.

• 30:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  If I can't have my mattress here with me, then at least I have my Helix pillow.

• 30:08Rayna Greenberg?

  And they give you tons of options. So you'll just take that quiz, knock it out. They will prescribe you a mattress that I know that you're gonna love. And we have a deal for you guys. helixsleep.com/gg. Get 27% off sitewide and two free dream pillows with mattress purchase and free bedding bundle, which is two dream pillows, a sheet set, and a mattress protector with any luxe or elite mattress order. I have the lux. Get 27% off plus two free pillows at helixsleep.com/gg. And you guys are just gonna love it. Check it out. helixsleep.com/gg.

• 30:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, all right.

• 30:42Rayna Greenberg?

  All right, guys. We are very excited for our guest today. He is a speaker and love coach, helping people have a better, more loving relationship with themselves and others. He is the host of the We Can Do Better podcast. His Instagram, The Love Drive, has hundreds of thousands of followers where he gives raw sex and dating advice. He offers retreats and a weekly Substack. Please welcome to the show Sean Gallinos.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 31:02Rayna Greenberg?

  And Roger.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  And my dog Roger.

• 31:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  This is so special. Like, it's our first time with two dogs. This is like the happiest I feel like I've ever been recording with two dogs.

• 31:10Rayna Greenberg?

  Not because your tour came out today.

• 31:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, it's the dogs.

• 31:14Rayna Greenberg?

  We've never allowed anybody to bring a dog on top of a Zulz. This is very special.

• 31:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  And they're both just like chilling.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  I'm also honored to be here after the multiple cancellations that I have done.

• 31:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Let's talk about it.

• 31:25Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 31:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  You're lucky you're here.

• 31:27Speaker 01

  I feel lucky that I'm here.

• 31:29Rayna Greenberg?

  You canceled twice.

• 31:30Speaker 01

  I canceled twice. Once was a Zoom thing.

• 31:33Rayna Greenberg?

  No, you were gonna come here and I confirmed with you and you're like, I've been meaning to cancel. Thank you for reaching out.

• 31:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  That is brutal. Imagine doing that for a date.

• 31:41Rayna Greenberg?

  I know.

• 31:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, hey, just confirming that our date tonight. He's like, oh, I was gonna cancel that.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  I've been meaning to cancel, yeah.

• 31:47Rayna Greenberg?

  And I have to tell you, so we found you through our videographer. He loves you. And he really likes your content.

• 31:51Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 31:51Rayna Greenberg?

  I was like, I fucking hate this guy canceled on me. God damn it. And I was, and then I saw you moved here and so we invited you back.

• 31:57Speaker 01

  Well, here's the thing. I was gonna come visit in LA and then that trip got canceled, but I forgot to cancel and then you reached out. And so my bad.

• 32:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  But you were in the middle of a move.

• 32:06Rayna Greenberg?

  Not the first time he canceled.

• 32:08Speaker 01

  Not the first time.

• 32:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, just in general.

• 32:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I was thinking of moving to LA. So I was doing like an introductory tour of LA.

• 32:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  You were too busy with the thinking.

• 32:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I didn't, yeah, exactly. But then I didn't end up coming. Anyways, then I canceled last week. I canceled last week.

• 32:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know.

• 32:20Speaker 01

  Again.

• 32:21Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, she heard about it.

• 32:22Speaker 01

  I almost, okay, I almost made up an excuse.

• 32:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 32:26Speaker 01

  Like, oh, I have to be out of town or like unexpected. I was like, no, dude, just be honest.

• 32:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 32:31Speaker 01

  You're going skiing.

• 32:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, I thought you canceled for mental health.

• 32:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was mental health. You had to go skiing.

• 32:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh.

• 32:38Rayna Greenberg?

  It was some bullshit man response. First of all, I'm walking through the farm market. I see a text come in from Sean. It fills my whole phone screen. And I'm like, what is this about to be? And it was like, my mental health.

• 32:52Speaker 01

  Okay, to be fair, to be fair, LA is on fire, right? Was on fire.

• 32:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 32:58Speaker 01

  The inauguration has been a total freaking nightmare.

• 33:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  January was like, nobody was okay.

• 33:04Speaker 01

  I was not okay last week.

• 33:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Totally.

• 33:05Speaker 01

  I did go skiing and I'm much better now. But even during the ski, the ski trip, I'm like, what is happening to our world?

• 33:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, can you imagine like this day of the world messes up your ski trip? Rude.

• 33:15Speaker 01

  Rude. During a fucking snowstorm, powder days? Okay, and I'm.

• 33:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  I can't even enjoy skiing.

• 33:21Speaker 01

  I'm freaking out. Anyways, I'm really excited to be here.

• 33:24Rayna Greenberg?

  No, we're excited to have you. And also, you said to me that you went to Santa Barbara. And I was like, oh, he goes to Santa Barbara. And you're like, and I slept in an RV. And I was like, how do I keep finding these people that live in their cars?

• 33:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know.

• 33:34Speaker 01

  My friend's RV.

• 33:36Rayna Greenberg?

  You don't even own it.

• 33:37Speaker 01

  He lives in a trailer park in Santa Barbara.

• 33:39Rayna Greenberg?

  You wouldn't be my first guy who lived in his car, unfortunately, so.

• 33:43Speaker 01

  I do have a tent on the top of my truck, so.

• 33:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Great.

• 33:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  Good. That's a big truck guy. All right, guys. Anyway, Sean's here, Roger's here.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're gonna talk about love and sex and stuff.

• 33:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, can we just talk about Roger a little bit?

• 33:53Speaker 01

  We can, yeah.

• 33:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  So you've had him 12 years.

• 33:56Speaker 01

  12 years.

• 33:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  And he is blind now.

• 33:58Speaker 01

  He's been blind half his life.

• 34:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  But you wouldn't even guess it. Like, I don't know, I guess I haven't been around a fully blind dog. Like, he's really with it.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  I don't baby him. I've never, I've just like taken him everywhere. When he first started going blind, the vet was like, don't move, you know, furniture around. Make sure you keep his life stable. And I was like, oh, we're actually going on a road trip for a year. And the vet was like, well, he'll be fine.

• 34:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  He's a dog.

• 34:21Speaker 01

  He's a dog.

• 34:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Do dogs have seeing eye dogs?

• 34:24Speaker 01

  I'm his seeing eye dog.

• 34:26Rayna Greenberg?

  Sean's the dog.

• 34:27Speaker 01

  That's me. I'm the dog. Yeah, I'm the service animal, the service human.

• 34:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm just laughing, thinking about like getting a seeing eye dog for your blind dog.

• 34:33Speaker 01

  It'd be so cute.

• 34:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  It'd be so cute.

• 34:35Speaker 01

  But that's me. I have to make sure he doesn't get hit by a car. And I like show him where things are. And he falls downstairs. I know, it's really.

• 34:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  They're really a vibe. Okay.

• 34:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Where did you go on your year-long trip?

• 34:45Speaker 01

  I was driving around the United States.

• 34:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 34:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:48Rayna Greenberg?

  How long did you stay in each place?

• 34:49Speaker 01

  Anywhere from like a day to a week or something, just sleeping in the truck. Yeah, I know.

• 34:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's brain is kink.

• 34:56Rayna Greenberg?

  It really is. I hate it.

• 34:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, so tell us a little bit about.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  Wait, does that turn you on? What's the story?

• 34:59Rayna Greenberg?

  Our video guy lives in his van.

• 35:01Speaker 01

  Okay, but that's like a thing now since COVID.

• 35:03Rayna Greenberg?

  It's a Mercedes Sprinter van. It's a nice van.

• 35:05Speaker 01

  It's a Sprinter. It's van life is a thing now.

• 35:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, it's van life. I get served so much this content on Instagram.

• 35:10Speaker 01

  Are we gonna lose our listeners here? Or like, are they in for all this?

• 35:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, people, I talk about him constantly. But we're over that. That's in a past life.

• 35:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  That was 2024.

• 35:18Rayna Greenberg?

  So I love your Instagram, Ash. And I were looking at it. People ask you some like, pretty crazy questions. And the way you answer them is, it's great. A lot of sex.

• 35:27Speaker 01

  A lot of sex. Well, people really, those are the most, the highest performing videos.

• 35:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  People love it. And so it's like, I pander a little bit to that because I know that it's good.

• 35:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, it was the most responses we got. We said like, hit us with your most quote unquote taboo sex questions that you might be embarrassed to ask. And it was like an onslaught. So, I mean, this is why we do what we do. I mean, you want to talk about this stuff, normalize it and everything. So.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  It's fun, too.

• 35:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 35:52Rayna Greenberg?

  And it's fun to see the buckets that come in. Cause I think that we've talked about the same stuff a lot over the years. Like, it just keeps coming up and people still have a thirst for like, but really, how do I do anal?

• 36:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:02Rayna Greenberg?

  You know?

• 36:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. Well, really, what do you do with an uncircumcised penis? So when I first, I went to your.

• 36:07Speaker 01

  We could talk about that.

• 36:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  So I went to your Instagram.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  We're gonna do show and tell.

• 36:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  That was one of the first videos that came up. And it's just funny because it's like, you just, you'll figure it out. I don't know. It's not a thing.

• 36:17Speaker 01

  Well, it's, it's interesting. I just had sex with someone recently and she had never experienced an uncircumcised penis before. And I had to like, kind of walk her through it a little bit.

• 36:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like pulling it back?

• 36:27Speaker 01

  Pulling it back. Like, how does it work? Don't pull it back too far.

• 36:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, we don't usually have to pull it back. Like, when it gets erect, it comes out.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  Sometimes. Sometimes, no.

• 36:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh.

• 36:37Speaker 01

  Depending on how much foreskin you have.

• 36:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh.

• 36:39Speaker 01

  You know, there's even a scale of like length of foreskin. It's called the C scale or something. It goes from C1 to C9. The more foreskin you have, the higher the number.

• 36:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  What number are you?

• 36:50Speaker 01

  I think I'm like a C6.

• 36:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Does yours go back automatically?

• 36:53Speaker 01

  Uh, no, not necessarily.

• 36:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, so when we watch Naked Attraction, some of those foreskins like, were like an unrolled turtleneck, just hanging on.

• 37:02Speaker 01

  And if it's erect, it's still gonna have a little, it's gonna have a little tip there, like a little, yeah, anteater situation.

• 37:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. Yeah. In my experience, I haven't had to pull back.

• 37:11Speaker 01

  It just would pull back on its own.

• 37:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  And you don't even, I'm like, oh, it's just a regular dick.

• 37:15Speaker 01

  Well, a regular dick would be sort of the uncircumcised one.

• 37:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Sorry. It just looks like an circumcised dick.

• 37:21Speaker 01

  But also when you're giving head, sometimes you can manipulate the foreskin in a way that it would go back over the glands. Right?

• 37:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  You can pull it back.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Like kind of the wizard, you pull it back up and down, up and down, sort of like a wizard's sleeve.

• 37:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's like.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  The Jell-O thing, the C cucumber.

• 37:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  Yes. Those things are incredible.

• 37:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  But we'll circle back and we'll talk a little bit more about you. We started kinda hot, but I just don't want any women to be intimidated or scared. It's just, you're gonna be fine. You know, like-

• 37:48Speaker 01

  You're gonna be fine.

• 37:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And hey, more dick.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  More, a little more dick. A little more dick. I've, I've heard from women that they actually prefer the, they can feel the difference during penetration.

• 38:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Remember that one night?

• 38:01Rayna Greenberg?

  Really?

• 38:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Were you there that night? We were at Jackie's studio, that really cool studio. We had dinner, all those girls.

• 38:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 38:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  And we run around the table and we just started talking about the best sex you've ever had with a bunch of women. And everyone had like an uncircumcised guy. That was like their top. So I don't know if there's a correlation there.

• 38:19Rayna Greenberg?

  I feel like I'm outside the culture.

• 38:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  I vouch for it.

• 38:21Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't really come across these very often.

• 38:23Speaker 01

  It depends who, I mean, van guys usually are gonna be uncircumcised.

• 38:27Rayna Greenberg?

  No.

• 38:27Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 38:28Rayna Greenberg?

  Well-

• 38:29Speaker 01

  Harder to keep it clean in a van.

• 38:34Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 38:35Rayna Greenberg?

  He always smelled fine. But like, I don't come across it a lot. Like, when you're in Europe, you come across it.

• 38:40Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 38:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, the European dicks I've had.

• 38:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:43Rayna Greenberg?

  And like, honestly, everything outside of America, it's not so common to be circumcised in the rest of the world. It's very American.

• 38:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, it's very American.

• 38:49Rayna Greenberg?

  And Jewish. But like, Jewish people are circumcised, but otherwise, Americans, and that's kinda it.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, pretty much.

• 38:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  I've seen even other podcasts talk about it. Like, it's, whoa. And it's just like, ladies, nothing to be scared. You've got a little more dick to work with. It's like a fun little-

• 39:03Speaker 01

  Party trick.

• 39:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  You know?

• 39:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 39:04Speaker 01

  Well, also, when masturbating, you don't need lube. It is the lube.

• 39:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  It has its own cable.

• 39:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Wait, really?

• 39:09Speaker 01

  It has its own, yeah. Cause you just pull the skin up and down-

• 39:12Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh.

• 39:12Speaker 01

  As sort of-

• 39:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 39:14Speaker 01

  Masturbation, yeah.

• 39:15Rayna Greenberg?

  The majority of the world deals with this. We just don't in America. So it is like, people have figured this out.

• 39:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you do have to keep it clean. It does require extra-

• 39:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Extra cleaning, yeah.

• 39:23Speaker 01

  Extra cleaning, yeah, for sure.

• 39:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Which, you know, hopefully you do, they do, whoever does.

• 39:28Speaker 01

  Well, you cannot, you know? Some people don't. Some people don't.

• 39:31Rayna Greenberg?

  No, some people really don't. So our friend's boyfriend is a doctor and he was at my house this morning and I was talking to him about, he was asking me who we're interviewing. I was like, telling him about your clip.

• 39:39Speaker 01

  The uncircumcised expert, Sean Galanos.

• 39:43Rayna Greenberg?

  I describe it to other people.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  Uncut coach.

• 39:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes. He was like, he was like, I've seen some pretty bad infections.

• 39:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, God. So, I didn't know if you knew about this, and I guess this is gonna be a big reveal, but I do talk about this in my standup a bit. And I am kicking off my tour on-

• 40:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  National foreskin day.

• 40:03Speaker 01

  Oh, good.

• 40:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Did you know?

• 40:04Speaker 01

  That there's National Foreskin Day?

• 40:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 40:06Speaker 01

  I'm not surprised there's National Everything Day now.

• 40:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's 4/4.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  No.

• 40:11Speaker 01

  4/4/25.

• 40:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's, it's National Foreskin Day is 4/4. And that's all I'm gonna say because come see me, yeah, buy tickets.

• 40:20Speaker 01

  Come see it live.

• 40:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, come see it live, exactly. But anyway, so happy early

• 40:24Speaker 01

  Yes, thank you.

• 40:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  National Foreskin Day to you.

• 40:26Speaker 01

  And to you as well. And to you as well, yeah.

• 40:29Rayna Greenberg?

  No one wished it to me.

• 40:31Speaker 01

  No, to both of you is what I meant.

• 40:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Not to you.

• 40:33Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm not really in the culture that much.

• 40:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  And your Jewish brothers and sisters. They do not get to celebrate.

• 40:36Rayna Greenberg?

  No, definitely not.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  No.

• 40:38Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. Jews don't have that.

• 40:39Speaker 01

  They don't. Well, some of the, you know about Jack? Jews Against Circumcision.

• 40:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's like an activist group?

• 40:45Speaker 01

  It's a group, yeah, an activist group.

• 40:46Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, I think whatever you want, I understand that some people see it as like mutilation and, and not letting somebody decide what they're gonna do with their own body.

• 40:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:54Rayna Greenberg?

  You can do whatever you want with that.

• 40:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, I'm sure it goes both ways. I'm sure there are adults that look back and would be like, I wish mom and dad did do it, right?

• 41:06Speaker 01

  Did?

• 41:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Did, and-

• 41:08Speaker 01

  Like circumcise me?

• 41:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 41:10Speaker 01

  No, cuz they could just do it then.

• 41:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, but then, I don't know, like, remember the Sex and the City episode? Isn't it so painful as an adult?

• 41:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, it's not, it's not something you wanna go into lightly.

• 41:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 41:22Speaker 01

  But also, I think there are more people that regret getting circumcised than don't.

• 41:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Than don't, okay. I, I can't speak on it. I'm just saying, like, there's gotta be two camps of like, do you think there's men out there that wish they were circumcised and then they wish their parents just did it back then?

• 41:36Speaker 01

  I just don't see why you would, unless you had like some sort of condition, some sort of like medical issue, or if there was like phimosis, which is like a too tight foreskin where the glands doesn't, doesn't like come out.

• 41:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's like a Spanx.

• 41:48Speaker 01

  It's like a Spanx for the, for the glands, yeah.

• 41:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like a sausage casing?

• 41:52Speaker 01

  And it can get kinda grody in there for sure.

• 41:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, okay.

• 41:55Speaker 01

  See, I am like an OBGYN.

• 41:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 41:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Dr. Shaw. I actually went to a circumcision recently. Bet you didn't expect that.

• 42:02Speaker 01

  For, for an adult one?

• 42:06Speaker 01

  I'd love to, like, if I ever got circumcised, like-

• 42:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Get that activist group in here because they're like, that should not be happening.

• 42:12Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I was dating somebody and I was like, I insist you do it. No, I'm just kidding. My nephew was circumcised recently.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  You went to a bris?

• 42:17Rayna Greenberg?

  I went to a bris.

• 42:18Speaker 01

  How was it?

• 42:19Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, I was in London and my brother's like, can you get over here? We're gonna do a bris. And I was like, now? Like, in the kitchen right now? I could skip this. And he's like, no, come, we'll take pictures. And I was like, I fucking hate you. So, me and him and his wife and the baby. And the rabbi comes, but he's a doctor. And he stayed with us for like, three hours. And it was like, really nice. He made sure that like, the baby was okay, that he had like, topical cream. He wasn't crying. He like, nursed, like, I don't know, shook the baby?

• 42:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:44Rayna Greenberg?

  Nursed the baby?

• 42:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Rocked it.

• 42:46Speaker 01

  Rocked it, yeah.

• 42:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Neither of those things.

• 42:47Speaker 01

  Rocked that fucking baby.

• 42:48Rayna Greenberg?

  Rocked that, he kicked it across the room. He punted it.

• 42:53Speaker 01

  To like, get it, like, to not stop thinking about the penis.

• 42:56Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 42:56Speaker 01

  You kick it across the room.

• 42:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, they're football sized. I mean, how could you not?

• 42:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  Was it, was there a moil? What's the moil?

• 43:02Rayna Greenberg?

  It's a moil.

• 43:02Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 43:03Rayna Greenberg?

  So, that's the rabbi that does the bris. And they're also a doctor.

• 43:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  We are gonna be on from, so just to click, so sex and blowjobs. If you are a woman who is dealing with a guy with an extra-long foreskin, let's say, that doesn't automatically go back.

• 43:16Speaker 01

  Pull it back.

• 43:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, do you think he should be responsible for pulling back? Or should you, or is that mix it up?

• 43:21Speaker 01

  No, you can pull it back.

• 43:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 43:22Speaker 01

  Anyone can at, at any point.

• 43:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Do you think there's women out there that are like, can he do it? I don't wanna-

• 43:28Speaker 01

  You know what? I got a message.

• 43:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Can he take the turtleneck off?

• 43:30Speaker 01

  I said something like, just pull it back. It'll look like a, you know, a quote-unquote, "normal penis." And she was like, ew, I'd rather if you did that. That's not my job. But it's like, what, if I have to, like, pull your lips apart? Like, is that your job?

• 43:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I wouldn't want somebody to like, treat me and my body like that.

• 43:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's such a good comparison.

• 43:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 43:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  A guy's like, I can't find your clit. Could you separate your lips?

• 43:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Sorry, your labia's in the way of your clit. Could you pull it back?

• 43:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Most people like that, honestly. No, I'm still-

• 44:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Anyway.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  So, so, do whatever you feel is comfortable. And if, and if you're unsure what to do with it, just ask.

• 44:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 44:07Speaker 01

  Ask your person.

• 44:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Exactly.

• 44:08Speaker 01

  That's, that's it.

• 44:09Rayna Greenberg?

  So, you wrote this thing on, on your site. Cause we, we asked people what taboo sex questions they had. We got hundreds and I couldn't even get to the bottom. There were so many of them. And so many of them are things that Ash and I say all the time. If you just said the words out loud and asked your partner, like, you could ask for what you want. You could explain something that you wanted. And I read on your site, it turns out asking for what you want is the best way to get what you want. And I love that, like, notion, but I think it's like, very scared to ask people. Like-

• 44:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:33Rayna Greenberg?

  I'll tell you guys about it later, but I had like, a sex experience recently. And I was like, I don't know how to like-

• 44:37Speaker 01

  Well, why later? What, what's happening later?

• 44:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  When, in 30 minutes?

• 44:41Speaker 01

  Let's go, let's go.

• 44:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, a lot of the questions circled around like, how do I ask him to be more exploratory? And things like that.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  People want language.

• 44:50Rayna Greenberg?

  They want language.

• 44:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Explicit language.

• 44:52Rayna Greenberg?

  And sometimes I think like asking, like flipping it around and saying, well, what do you like? What can I do with you? Well, it'd be exciting for you. And just showing somebody you're also open to different things is a good like gateway into this. So I tried a new thing in bed that I'd never tried. And I've heard about it. I've seen other people.

• 45:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  You've seen TikToks about it?

• 45:09Rayna Greenberg?

  What is it?

• 45:10Speaker 01

  Wait, what is it?

• 45:11Rayna Greenberg?

  He was like, lay on your back, hang your head off the bed. And I was like, oh, you're gonna fuck my face. This has never happened to me before. Like, they stand over you.

• 45:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 45:19Rayna Greenberg?

  And like, you know. So I did. And I was like, I kind of knew what was gonna happen, but it's never happened to me. Cause I've seen it porn.

• 45:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  You were like blowing him with your head?

• 45:28Rayna Greenberg?

  My head hanging off the bed.

• 45:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Hanging off the bed.

• 45:29Rayna Greenberg?

  And he like walked up.

• 45:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Very like Spider-Man kiss.

• 45:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, with the cock.

• 45:32Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes, exactly.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:36Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. But as I'm doing it, I'm like looking up at the sky and they're standing above you. And he had huge balls. And they were on my face.

• 45:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  So weird, right?

• 45:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:45Rayna Greenberg?

  And they're like right in my eye sockets, the two balls.

• 45:49Speaker 01

  The original teabag, the full on teabag.

• 45:54Rayna Greenberg?

  At first it was my forehead. I'm trying to get more comfortable while this is happening.

• 45:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  You're like, excuse me?

• 45:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes. And they were so big. And so I, they're in my eye sockets. And then I get to the point, I move them down, but they're on my cheeks. They're resting on my cheeks. At which point my eyes are free to open my eyes and look directly into his butthole.

• 46:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  The way you two just connected over this whole experience, I really liked it. Like, you're like, exactly. Yep. And now you're just.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  I mean, I could, cause I, cause I've been there before, but also I could just picture the whole thing and how it might be uncomfortable as a first timer.

• 46:26Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. Well, yeah. Not a lot of firsts for me. Like, I've been having sex for a while. There's not a lot of firsts for me. But I was like, well, this seems like something he's into. I want to be like game for it.

• 46:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:36Rayna Greenberg?

  And it opens up the door for me to do some weird shit later.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  Like what?

• 46:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  True.

• 46:41Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm like, you knew your balls were on my cheeks. So I stared up at your butthole.

• 46:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, like I'm, I'm not shaming it anyway. I don't know if like the balls as a blindfold are for me. Like that's gonna throw me off a little.

• 46:55Speaker 01

  Like yoga, you know, it's like restorative, kinda like when you're at a massage and they like, they put the thing.

• 47:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  They felt kinda nice. They were, they were just like, they were soft.

• 47:04Speaker 01

  You know, like buckwheat.

• 47:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right, like a heated iPad.

• 47:07Speaker 01

  A heated iPad.

• 47:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  When I had that shalazion, I could've used them.

• 47:10Rayna Greenberg?

  That's how you get a shalazion though. You put some of these ball sack on your eyeballs.

• 47:14Speaker 01

  But let's be, let's be real here. The angle is what we're really going for in that, in that situation.

• 47:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  So why, I would like to hear from Sean, like, why do you think he wanted to do that? Just for the fun of it all?

• 47:27Rayna Greenberg?

  No, it's the angle.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  The angle. You can get, you can get deep without like a gag, maybe less gag reflex.

• 47:34Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, as someone who doesn't really have a gag reflex, I didn't really need to do that.

• 47:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  But that's why a guy would wanna do that. Like in his head, he's just like, I can get a better blowjob.

• 47:41Speaker 01

  You can get a deeper, a deeper experience.

• 47:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  And there's probably a little bit of like dominating, you know, sort of like, you're kinda in a super vulnerable position.

• 47:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 47:50Speaker 01

  You can't really go anywhere.

• 47:52Rayna Greenberg?

  I think the view must be kinda nice, right? It's like, kinda like a nice view.

• 47:56Speaker 01

  Oh, the view's great.

• 47:56Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, the view's great. Not for you. It's a horrible view for the woman.

• 48:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Did you finish that one?

• 48:02Rayna Greenberg?

  No, we finished just during sex.

• 48:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right, like that was like a foreplay situation. Imagine.

• 48:06Rayna Greenberg?

  No, actually it was in the middle of sex. We were having sex and then we stopped into that.

• 48:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I liked that a lot. Yeah, it's a good like palate cleanser.

• 48:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, we got right into it. How did you get into, can we back up and hear a little bit about you?

• 48:18Speaker 01

  Sure, yeah.

• 48:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  We're all over the place, but like how, tell us how you got started doing all this.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  I'm 42 years old.

• 48:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  I'm a single, straight, white dude.

• 48:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  When is your birthday?

• 48:30Speaker 01

  September 12th, 1982.

• 48:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  I'm a Virgo.

• 48:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 48:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, is that why you were asking?

• 48:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I just wanna know your sign.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  Okay, Capricorn rising with a Cancer moon.

• 48:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 48:39Speaker 01

  Fun, right?

• 48:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 48:41Speaker 01

  Anyways, 10 years ago in 2014, I was driving a taxi in San Francisco.

• 48:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  I was broke. I needed money. I needed a job. I met this guy who was, looked cool and drove a cab and I was like, I'm gonna do that. And it was cool for about two months.

• 48:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 48:57Speaker 01

  And actually driving a cab was like not fun.

• 48:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Not an Uber, like an actual cab?

• 49:01Speaker 01

  This was right as Uber was coming on the scene. So this was like an actual cab where like people would hail it and it was like kind of fun. But then I got bored and my friend said, oh, you should record your conversations with your passengers. And so I did, I put cameras, microphones, lights in the cab and I called it the love drive.

• 49:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh.

• 49:18Rayna Greenberg?

  With their consent.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  With their consent.

• 49:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  They knew they were being filmed. This is so cool.

• 49:21Speaker 01

  They knew they were being filmed. I had them sign a release.

• 49:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like Taxi Cab Confession.

• 49:24Speaker 01

  Like Taxi Cab Confession meets Love Line.

• 49:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, I love a Love Line reference.

• 49:28Speaker 01

  That was the idea. That was the idea. And I was both Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla and the weirdo in Taxi Cab Confession.

• 49:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 49:36Speaker 01

  And so I drove around San Francisco and had conversations with people about sex, love and dating. And it was like pretty lowbrow stuff, like what's up with shaving your balls? And will you have sex on your period? Or like, do we, how do we feel about sex workers? And it was interesting. It was really fun. And I did that for about six months and that was sort of the beginning of the love drive.

• 49:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  Wow, okay.

• 49:54Speaker 01

  So that's the origin story. That's how I got started. And then I started doing like writing about it, doing videos, a podcast. I started doing some coaching and then I was talking to my therapist and I was like, I feel kind of like an imposter. And she looked at me kind of like, you kind of are. And so I got certified as a coach, started coaching properly, then doing courses, retreats, groups, and then more writing and then podcasting. And here we are.

• 50:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Amazing. I'm glad I asked.

• 50:18Rayna Greenberg?

  I, I love this story. And also, I mean, I think a lot of people have imposter syndrome in the beginning. I mean, Mel Robbins will be on the show this week is a perfect example of somebody who just, at 41, just came up with this concept that kind of helped her and her life. And some friends liked it and she was speaking at like schools and churches and then did one of the first TED Talks. And like, you just have to do the tiny thing first, you know?

• 50:37Speaker 01

  And keep doing it. Keep doing some version of, of it, you know?

• 50:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love that. And I also love that your therapist was like, you kind of are. You could get more certified.

• 50:47Speaker 01

  She was right.

• 50:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  And you were like, oh, right, okay.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  I was totally coaching people like off the cuff, not really knowing like the strategies and the... Protocols and that made me a more effective coach once I got certified.

• 50:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So do you talk to Uber drivers now, like for just for the rush of it all?

• 51:03Speaker 01

  No, God, oh my God.

• 51:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  You've overcorrected.

• 51:05Speaker 01

  Don't talk, don't talk to me. Yeah. Don't talk to me.

• 51:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  You, you turn it on them. You just ask your driver. You're like, so anyway, what about shaving those balls?

• 51:13Speaker 01

  The worst is just, yeah, no, I don't want to talk to my, I don't really want to talk to that many people.

• 51:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. Okay. And you also, are you a certified like crisis and rape counselor also?

• 51:22Speaker 01

  I was, yeah. In California, back in Oakland, I got certified as a, as a rape crisis counselor. And so it would do like hotline stuff for sexual assault survivors.

• 51:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my gosh. Wow. That's admirable work.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  It was interesting. I thought it was going to be harder than it was, but if you're able to say things like sexual assault and rape and talk about it in a nonjudgmental way or in sort of like a, without any fear, then that's all really the, people just want support. They want someone that they can talk to. And we had protocols about like, when they say this, say this, and here are the resources that you can give them. And we were sort of just like frontline defense. What are you smiling at?

• 51:58Rayna Greenberg?

  I just think it's really nice. I think it's, I don't know that a lot of men just like wake up one day and we're like, I want to counsel women in crisis. What are you smiling about? I don't know.

• 52:06Speaker 01

  Sorry. I don't know. I thought, I don't know.

• 52:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  This guy sucks.

• 52:12Speaker 01

  It was a sweet thing to do. It was.

• 52:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. So now we feel that you are qualified to continue the conversation.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  Okay. I thought maybe just the content, how I answered the questions was qualifying.

• 52:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, it was too, but we wanted to back up. I feel like our audience is like, who is this?

• 52:27Speaker 01

  A little background, a little background is nice. A little background is us.

• 52:30Rayna Greenberg?

  I used to ask people, what gives you the right? Which is like an old quote from the office, where you speak proud. And people didn't like it.

• 52:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Some people got it, but there was one time I was like, I think we, we both felt like it's time to stop asking that.

• 52:41Rayna Greenberg?

  Somebody was like, the fuck did you say to me, Base? That was the tone. I'm like, what did you just ask me?

• 52:45Speaker 01

  Like a real, like a real expert.

• 52:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Probably. Yeah.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  Probably.

• 52:49Rayna Greenberg?

  And if you don't really know the reference, like it can sound a little rude.

• 52:53Speaker 01

  I wouldn't have known it, but I would have answered it.

• 52:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. Okay. We're just going to take a quick break. On topic today, Raina, I have a question for you. How would you feel if you lost your libido?

• 53:03Rayna Greenberg?

  My sex drive? Is that like a serious question? I've never.

• 53:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know, right? Well, the fact is, millions of premenopausal women are frustrated because they lost their libido. But we are here to let you know that there's a treatment called ADDY that is clinically proven to boost libido in certain premenopausal women. And this isn't some sketchy gas station pill. It's FDA approved. Talk to your doctor to see if ADDY is right for you. And again, it is clinically proven.

• 53:28Rayna Greenberg?

  I love that women have this option.

• 53:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Same. You can go learn more at addyi.com. That is A-D-D-Y-I dot com.

• 53:37Speaker 03

  ADDY, or Flavanturin, is for premenopausal women with acquired generalized hypoactive sexual desire disorder, HSDD, who have not had problems with low sexual desire in the past, who have low sexual desire no matter the type of sexual activity, the situation, or the sexual partner. The low sexual desire is troubling to them and is not due to a medical or mental health problem, problems in the relationship, or medicine or other drug use. ADDY is not for use in men or to enhance sexual performance. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is increased if you drink one to two standard alcoholic drinks close in time to your ADDY dose. Wait at least two hours after drinking before taking ADDY at bedtime. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is also increased if you take certain prescriptions, over the counter or herbal medications, or have liver problems. Low blood pressure and fainting can happen when you take ADDY, even if you don't drink alcohol or take other medicines. Do not take if you are allergic

• 54:21Speaker 03

  to any of the ingredients in ADDY. Allergic reactions may include hives, itching, or trouble breathing. Sleepiness, sometimes serious, can occur. Common side effects include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, and dry mouth. See full PI and medication guide, including boxed warning, at addyi.com/PI, or call 844-PINK-PILL.

• 54:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  ADDY. That is A-D-D-Y-I dot com.

• 54:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. Also, since we're just talking about being sexy today, bras. Ever since Skims became a part of, I'm crazy about their underwear, their boy shorts, their thongs, their bras. I'm wearing one of their bras right now. They have tons of colors to choose from and sizes. The Fits Everybody line is fantastic. I love an underwire bra. So I wear their t-shirt bra. I have it on in cocoa right now. I have the black. I have different shades of nude and tan. Their boy shorts as well. If you're struggling to kind of find like a full coverage underwear, it looks really sexy and it's very comfortable. It's great to wear all day long or to sleep in. Big fan of what they do. And Skims in general, great stuff on the site. PJs. Can't recommend them enough. And again, tons of colors and sizes for everybody. You guys can shop the Skims best intimates, including the Fits Everybody collection and more

• 55:28Rayna Greenberg?

  at skims.com and Skims stores. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select Podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

• 55:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. Like Raina said, I mean, we couldn't, people were chomping at the bit to give us their submissions. So should we just kind of tackle some?

• 55:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, a lot of this really that came in was about asking for what you want in bed, whether it's like to be kinkier, more exploratory, to have more sex, to try new positions. And we can tackle a bunch of this, but a lot of people really are scared to just look at their partner and say like, I want something different.

• 56:01Speaker 01

  Yep. I think it's the, the longer you don't talk about sex, the harder it is to talk about sex, right? It sort of just gets kind of rote. You know, you're like, oh, we don't talk about it. We have sex in a very specific way. And yet there's some desire to have more exploratory sex. And so I think it's just someone has to go first.

• 56:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And we, we talked about that, I think, early on with Ian Kerner, which when you are starting a relationship, everything's so hot and heavy and the spontaneous desire is there and it's just going great. And so you don't talk about it and then you don't have the tools. So you've never talked about it. It's always just sort of happened and it's been fine. And then it stops happening in that way. And you have never had the conversations. You don't have the language. So it's just like, talk about it early on. So you at least feel comfortable, even when things are going great. I guess what I'm saying, people wait for like a problem to arise.

• 56:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. If you can like build it into the early stages of your relationship, we're used to talking about sex. We're used to like doing a debrief after sex. How was that for you? What did you love? What would you have loved more of? What were you like not a huge fan of? You can get used to that. I think that's, it's going to make it a lot easier. By the way, do we think Ian Kerner has done like the most for women getting more orgasms?

• 57:19Rayna Greenberg?

  We love him so much.

• 57:21Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. That book is, was a game changer for me. 100% game changer.

• 57:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, the book is, she comes first. Yeah.

• 57:29Speaker 01

  Sneaks in that were like, pretty simple, but very effective.

• 57:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  So like, when did you read that in your journey? Like, before you got into this or like during?

• 57:38Speaker 01

  Oh, earlier than that, I think. Cause I've always, I've always been into it personally speaking.

• 57:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  How to fuck better?

• 57:43Speaker 01

  How to fuck better, yeah.

• 57:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 57:45Speaker 01

  Oh, I also did a stint as an erotic masseur for a year. Like happy ending massages for women.

• 57:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  You were doing that for a job?

• 57:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Raina, calm down.

• 57:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm, I'm fine.

• 57:59Speaker 01

  And I used a lot of Ian Kerners techniques, by the way.

• 58:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  How did you get into that?

• 58:03Speaker 01

  This was after the taxi thing. Okay, so I have a friend.

• 58:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  It was in the taxis.

• 58:07Speaker 01

  It was, was after the taxi thing.

• 58:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  He filmed this too, actually.

• 58:10Speaker 01

  I didn't film it, but my friend who gave me the idea of the taxi thing also gave me the idea of, she was like, you should be like a male escort or something.

• 58:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 58:18Speaker 01

  I was like, yeah, okay. But then you start thinking about being a male escort and it's like, not that straightforward. There's no real marketplace for it.

• 58:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Uh huh.

• 58:26Speaker 01

  Right? There's a marketplace for female sex workers servicing men, but the other way around, it doesn't really exist. And then there was that show on HBO. What was it called? It was basically a show about a regular dude becoming like a sex worker or something.

• 58:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I don't remember. What's it called? Hung.

• 58:41Speaker 01

  Hung. Yes, thank you.

• 58:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 58:43Speaker 01

  So I was like, oh, I could be like that guy. But the reality is that the, like, what am I doing? Like hanging out in like hotel lobbies? But I decided, oh, if females, if women can, can give erotic massages, then I should be able to give erotic massages.

• 58:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  So like paid?

• 58:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like through a service?

• 58:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  And so I started doing erotic massage on, I like, I would advertise on Craigslist.

• 59:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 59:04Speaker 01

  For like a sensual massage for women experience. Because a lot of women were like, back then in Craigslist, there was the casual encounters.

• 59:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 59:11Speaker 01

  And I think what women were looking for casual sex, but, but the reality of looking for casual sex on the internet is like, actually not quite, not very safe. Low like success rate, right? Like you probably end up meeting a whole bunch of creepy dudes.

• 59:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Uh huh.

• 59:25Speaker 01

  Or like a waste of time. And so I wanted to offer like an experience that was like, you come, you get a massage, you get off, you go home.

• 59:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. Well, also, women want a little more intimacy. Like, it's like the perfect mix of like, I want to get off, I want to have an experience with a guy, but I want it to feel a little more intimate than come over and just fuck me.

• 59:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I want to leave after. Like, I don't want to stay at your weird house. Or, you know, like, there must be, like, total weird dingy situations that people are getting themselves into to have casual sex.

• 59:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, there's this dance of like, when can I leave? When can you leave? Wait, you would go there, though? You would?

• 59:59Speaker 01

  No, they, this is, this happened at my place.

• 1:00:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  They came to you? Do you list your, do you put your photo?

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  I put a bunch of photos, but you couldn't really tell, you couldn't see my face.

• 1:00:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, hands, sexy hands.

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  Hands, yeah, no, and I had a good description, like, you know, educated, 33-year-old.

• 1:00:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  You know, the whole thing. And then I would be, like, explicitly vague about what would, what would go on.

• 1:00:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  So, like, what did you learn from this? About, like, women's pleasure and what they want?

• 1:00:23Speaker 01

  It's a lot like a Rubik's Cube. It's not very straightforward, right? There's a lot of hangups that, that women have around, like, letting go, which I think makes a lot of sense. I think safety was like a very important, it's a very important piece of being able to experience pleasure and orgasm. And so, some women just didn't get there because it was such like a...

• 1:00:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Totally.

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  Just like a weird experience. Even though I did everything I could to, like, make them feel safe and what were they looking for? What were their boundaries? You know, the whole space was, like, very inviting and warm and lovely. But what I learned the most is that I just had, most of my clients were just looking for love. Looking for, like, some loving touch.

• 1:01:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, a little companionship?

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  Something, some, some, a sweetness with a man, you know?

• 1:01:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Wow.

• 1:01:08Speaker 01

  And it was a beautiful experience.

• 1:01:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:10Speaker 01

  And it was also, like, very hard to continue to do that work. It was, like, energetically expensive. To, like, give out that much care and tenderness towards strangers, basically.

• 1:01:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  But to your point, it is different than, like, what we kind of know to be like the man hiring a female sex worker experience, which is like, walk in, fuck, leave.

• 1:01:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  This sounds much more intimate.

• 1:01:31Speaker 01

  Oh, there was like a sitting on the couch, there was soft music, I had lavender tea, like, we sort of had to, like, kind of warm up into the experience.

• 1:01:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  I am just dying to know every single one of those women's stories. Like, because I'm sure some were in relationships.

• 1:01:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, sexless or just not being satisfied. I'm sure some just were single and had been for a long time. I mean...

• 1:01:52Speaker 01

  Widows.

• 1:01:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  Divorces, people that were like not conventionally attractive. Um, and people in sexless marriages.

• 1:02:01Rayna Greenberg?

  Was there a specific age range or was it huge?

• 1:02:04Speaker 01

  It was like mainly thirties and forties.

• 1:02:06Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  I didn't screen also. I didn't like, hey, send me your pictures or something. It was just like, if you booked, you booked.

• 1:02:11Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But it's interesting. There was a lot of like talking ahead of time and just getting comfortable. And I mean, women need to feel like that, you know?

• 1:02:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:18Rayna Greenberg?

  For sure.

• 1:02:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  This should have been like the whole time. I mean, I'm so fascinated by this. I mean, and we, we had on this, uh, I mean, male sex worker years ago, we didn't end up airing it. Like the episode wasn't, he just, it wasn't good, but he would be hired a lot, just as more of even a date, remember? Like he had a lot of high power women clientele that just needed like, arm candy essentially, or like dates to like events and stuff like.

• 1:02:42Rayna Greenberg?

  He would travel with them quite a bit. There's only two episodes we've ever not aired. That was one of them.

• 1:02:46Speaker 01

  Wow. And this one being the second one?

• 1:02:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. I just want to get you comfortable with the notion. This isn't coming out, you know?

• 1:02:55Speaker 01

  That's cool. I'm really glad I came out here and got a little bottle of water, you know?

• 1:02:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm fascinated by your whole trajectory of life.

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  It's been weird. It's been a weird trajectory for sure. Very non-traditional.

• 1:03:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  But you know, I love that you, you really walk the walk.

• 1:03:09Rayna Greenberg?

  Were you in a relationship with anybody during this time?

• 1:03:11Speaker 01

  And that also made dating kind of hard.

• 1:03:14Rayna Greenberg?

  Sure.

• 1:03:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  And you would disclose it?

• 1:03:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. I disclose everything.

• 1:03:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  Yeah. I disclose everything.

• 1:03:18Rayna Greenberg?

  I think it could, it's just not for everybody, you know? Even if you're like, this is professional. This is fine. I was getting a massage from some guy. He talked about his girlfriend the whole time. That guy in Santa Barbara.

• 1:03:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  Is that cool?

• 1:03:27Rayna Greenberg?

  I actually have never talked to somebody.

• 1:03:31Rayna Greenberg?

  She's a very inviting body.

• 1:03:33Speaker 01

  In my massage, I don't want to talk.

• 1:03:34Rayna Greenberg?

  The only, I get a lot of massages. It's like my expensive guilty pleasure, but he's the only person to talk to me during a massage. But I don't know. We just started chatting and I was having fun and I don't know. It was a weird week.

• 1:03:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. That you don't do that a lot. That was like a.

• 1:03:46Speaker 01

  It was a weird week.

• 1:03:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  One off.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  Wait, was this after the fires?

• 1:03:49Rayna Greenberg?

  No, it was just like a week.

• 1:03:50Speaker 01

  Okay. Okay.

• 1:03:51Rayna Greenberg?

  It was the summer and I was just kind of bored.

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  Okay. Did you ever get a massage and wondered yourself or think like, oh, it'd be nice if this went a little extra?

• 1:03:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Every time.

• 1:03:58Speaker 01

  That's what I was offering. It was the massage plus a little extra.

• 1:04:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And, and people like. And we speak about this very sensibly because there's nothing more disgusting than like an unconsensual

• 1:04:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Sexual act. I was like, there was like a whole thing years ago with that one chain. I mean, it was sickening. So yes, but like I've gotten that massage. I mean, I was on some press trip and then the PR company like set me up with the hottest masseuse at the hotel and he walked out. I was like, is this real life? Like I was like, he's gonna be on my body, you know, like towards the end, I was like, I would love for this to go to the next.

• 1:04:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. What would be the next level? Just him touching you?

• 1:04:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, I have not experienced this and Raina can speak on it, but I think, yeah, you're in that area anyway. It just kind of starts to creep up, right?

• 1:04:39Speaker 01

  That was basically the move is that I would, I would just tease the hell out of them.

• 1:04:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Uh huh. Okay. Yeah. The teasing.

• 1:04:44Speaker 01

  Yeah. So like getting real close, but not ever getting there. And then I would, then at some point I would say, would you like me to continue? And they'd be like, yes.

• 1:04:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, exactly.

• 1:04:56Speaker 01

  Lot of buy-in, lot of buy-in.

• 1:04:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, a lot of women have had A, this fantasy or B, this experience. So it makes total sense. Why?

• 1:05:03Rayna Greenberg?

  It's just so sexy. I don't care what the person looks like either. Like it's just, I actually get a little uncomfortable when the guy's like too hot because I'm like, I can't like relax as much as I want to.

• 1:05:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, I also had an experience with a, with a massage I got once in Atlanta and I just felt like the guy was, his tone was a little too sexy for me. It made me very uncomfortable.

• 1:05:19Speaker 01

  And then you can't relax into that.

• 1:05:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Exactly.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  You're like on edge the whole time. Yeah.

• 1:05:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  Fuck, man. Massages are crazy. Just like paying to get touched by another human being.

• 1:05:28Rayna Greenberg?

  But like, how often you meet a total stranger and you were butt naked within three minutes? Their hands are all over your body. Like it's a really interesting like exchange of trust.

• 1:05:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  At the guy.

• 1:05:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  At the guy. No, but not all over your body. It's like start massaging your feet. It was like in the stirrups.

• 1:05:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I've, I've mostly like for years now, I feel like I request women. I just, I just feel more comfortable.

• 1:05:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I do too.

• 1:05:53Speaker 01

  Me too. Yeah.

• 1:05:54Rayna Greenberg?

  No, you don't. Recently at Den Mother, I've requested a woman as a last.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  I do too.

• 1:06:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Or two guys in New York. Yeah, there's two guys.

• 1:06:02Rayna Greenberg?

  There's two guys at ping pong back and forth. She had like a secret massage life. Like I would be like, I wouldn't hear from her for a couple hours and be like, where have you been? And she just, it came out that she was going like weekly to get these secret massages.

• 1:06:15Speaker 01

  What, were they just regular massages?

• 1:06:16Rayna Greenberg?

  Just regular massages.

• 1:06:17Speaker 01

  Okay, just secret, not telling your friends.

• 1:06:19Rayna Greenberg?

  That's myself, that's my self-help, you know?

• 1:06:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:20Rayna Greenberg?

  I just like to get a massage. We're in constant communication. It never stops. If she doesn't hear from me for like an hour, I'm probably at a massage.

• 1:06:25Speaker 01

  Right, concerned.

• 1:06:26Rayna Greenberg?

  I think there's a lot of shame in women. We got a ton of questions about this. People ask us all the time. I can't come from penetrative sex. I can only come from oral. I can only come from a toy. Was there like a big range in terms of like how people got off and what they wanted, how long it took?

• 1:06:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I, I mean, I always say this. I'm always honest about like the success rate was not, it was like probably 50%.

• 1:06:46Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  You know, and like, I, do you know the Endless Honeymoon podcast with Moshe Kasher and Natasha Legere?

• 1:06:52Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, we know Moshe and Natasha.

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah, okay.

• 1:06:54Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:54Speaker 01

  So I was on their podcast and Natasha just roasted the fuck out of, actually, both of them roasted the shit out of me for having such a low success rate. They're like, no wonder no one came back to see you more than once if you're only doing it like half the time.

• 1:07:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Wait, I want to say enough for you though. Women do not get off 50% of the time, not even close.

• 1:07:11Speaker 01

  That's what I'm-

• 1:07:12Rayna Greenberg?

  Out of strangers' home?

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying. I thought I was doing okay.

• 1:07:15Rayna Greenberg?

  We're in our head, even in our safe space, with our, with our partner, you know? So to be in this like strange place with this stranger, I mean, yeah.

• 1:07:23Speaker 01

  I was trying to provide a loving,

• 1:07:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Of course.

• 1:07:25Speaker 01

  caring, sexy experience.

• 1:07:27Rayna Greenberg?

  Of course, of course.

• 1:07:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, and so if you came, I think that that was great, but also there's a limit to the length of the massage.

• 1:07:33Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:34Speaker 01

  You know, and like if I'm sweating trying to make it happen, it's not cute for anybody, you know?

• 1:07:38Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, you're like fighting for your life.

• 1:07:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Well, and also like I didn't go down on them.

• 1:07:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Like if you don't come-

• 1:07:42Speaker 01

  I only use my hands.

• 1:07:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 1:07:43Speaker 01

  So like-

• 1:07:44Rayna Greenberg?

  You are limited.

• 1:07:45Speaker 01

  I'm ver- I'm very limited, yeah. And Ian Kerner's book, you know, there was some mouth action in there.

• 1:07:50Rayna Greenberg?

  Totally. I don't know that everybody can get off from just like clitoral stimulation.

• 1:07:55Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:07:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, and with a stranger in their home.

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  For the first time.

• 1:07:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Totally, right. So I don't know. I think that like sex can be really enjoyable even without the orgasm for me. Like I can still have fun and enjoy the experience.

• 1:08:07Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:08:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, yeah, what I liked about an orgasm, great, but like the whole time leading up to that is really so fun for me, regardless. Well, let's get into something-

• 1:08:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  Other questions.

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:08:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, so I love this one.

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  We didn't even get into a question.

• 1:08:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, yeah. Let's get into a question. First question.

• 1:08:23Speaker 01

  This happens all the time. This happens all the time.

• 1:08:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love it. This is how we like to do it. It's just like an easy flow. Okay, first question. My boyfriend is dead silent during sex. I've tried to tell him to make literally any sound. He's proposing this year and I think it's time to celebrate by making him make a noise.

• 1:08:39Speaker 01

  Hilarious.

• 1:08:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Doesn't emote during sex.

• 1:08:41Speaker 01

  I talked about this on my podcast today. We had a listener call in.

• 1:08:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 1:08:45Speaker 01

  Saying, what's the deal with guys not making any noises?

• 1:08:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:48Speaker 01

  And it's weird.

• 1:08:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:50Speaker 01

  It's weird. I mean, I think there's, I don't know, where does that come from? Is that like shame, I guess?

• 1:08:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, insecure. I mean, not wanting to sound silly.

• 1:08:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Sound silly. I don't think the dirty talk comes natural to your average person. I think it takes time to build up to that. I think, and I certainly don't have a penis, but I think trying to feel like, can I come? I don't want to come too soon. Like, I am, I'm assuming people are like, I don't want to come too fast, so I have to be quiet. It takes me out of it.

• 1:09:14Speaker 01

  I guess. You know, interestingly enough, in Tantra, moaning and making noise is a way to like, release pressure. And so it's a way to move energy and sort of like stuck energy in a tantric, and I'm not a Tantra expert, but in like a tantric way. If you're all like, kind of tense, then you can end up coming faster, right? Like, think about yourself, if you're trying to come, sometimes you're like tense up.

• 1:09:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Tense up, yeah.

• 1:09:37Speaker 01

  And so moaning will like, release energy and sort of like, make it flow freer.

• 1:09:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Interesting.

• 1:09:42Speaker 01

  In a way that, you know, could prevent you from actually coming too soon.

• 1:09:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, I'd want more information. Like, I don't even know if she is wanting dirty talk. I think she's wanting literally anything.

• 1:09:52Speaker 01

  A moan, a moan.

• 1:09:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  But then, you know, we had a friend recently and she told us she slept with a guy and he moaned like a woman and I was like,

• 1:10:01Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:10:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like a, uh, uh.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know. Yeah, no, it has to be like, mm, uh. Like, it has to be like, a little bit deeper.

• 1:10:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  And I never, I like gasped. I was like, oh my, I don't know what I would do. And like, I wouldn't want to shame somebody for their sounds they were making, but if, I feel like if I was with a guy and he was like, uh, uh, he was making the sounds I was making?

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  I don't know.

• 1:10:20Speaker 01

  We don't know who's making what.

• 1:10:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:10:23Rayna Greenberg?

  Was that you or me?

• 1:10:23Speaker 01

  Okay, but wait, I think in, in She Comes First, there, I mean, when you're going down on a woman and you're moaning, you can like make the clit vibrate, like that whole area.

• 1:10:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Kind of like, mm.

• 1:10:35Speaker 01

  Mm.

• 1:10:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, tho- those are great sounds.

• 1:10:37Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:38Speaker 01

  So use that, but when you're having sex, use a deeper like moan.

• 1:10:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. I think it just takes some people out of it. I think a lot of men struggle to not come too quickly. Or if you're just hearing a bunch of noises, maybe that takes you out of it. You can't like focus and concentrate on coming. But I've dealt with this before with a partner that just did not emote, like any, like I would look down at him and I'd be like, am I bothering you? Like, this is crazy. Like, you're not making any noises at all. And he, I mean, we just never got there, but like I, my advice to people is like, tell your partner, like, it really, it turns me on to know that you're turned on.

• 1:11:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Like flip it around and say like, it's really, it's exciting for me to hear this out of you. You know, I, I really like it when you make noises. I would love to make, hear you make noise.

• 1:11:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, if you made a noise. Here's the thing, though. I think boys are used to being really quiet when they're masturbating because they feel ashamed, or they've had parents shame them for masturbating. So they're used to just being kind of furtively pleasing themselves. And that just sort of translates into relationships.

• 1:11:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, my tip is to ask a yes or no question. Like, see if you can get something out of them. Like, maybe they need to break the barrier. I mean, I would like her to just say, like, do you like this? You know, like, get them to say anything to like, break through and see if you can get that out of them, like.

• 1:11:56Speaker 01

  And you can't answer with a, with a yes or no. So you have to go, mm-hmm. Ah, that's a moan right there.

• 1:12:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  They could answer with that. All I'm saying is like, let's do a test here. Like, let's really give it your all, you know, really be having great sex with your partner and then just be like, do you like it? And see what happens. Is he gonna just?

• 1:12:17Speaker 01

  Freeze.

• 1:12:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Do nothing? Like, I feel like if we could just get there, make it easy on him. Again, I don't know if she just wants a moan or if she wants dirty talk, but like, you cannot expect someone who's never made a sound in their life to start proactively dirty talking. You've got to ask them a question.

• 1:12:31Speaker 01

  But even, even more than that, talk about it before or when you're not having sex.

• 1:12:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:12:37Speaker 01

  Hey, honey, I would love to hear you make some noises when we're having sex. It could be a moan, it could be a grunt, anything. Like, it would just turn me on a lot if I could hear you a little bit.

• 1:12:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:48Speaker 01

  I love feeling you. I want to hear you.

• 1:12:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, but just, I think, give it a whirl. Do you like it? See what happens.

• 1:12:54Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes or no questions?

• 1:12:55Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:12:57Rayna Greenberg?

  You don't seem like you like it.

• 1:12:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Also to your point, like, what if he starts making noises and it's real bad? Like, these, because we've heard.

• 1:13:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Longcomer.

• 1:13:04Speaker 01

  Shane Gillis has a joke about how he sounds like a fucking pug fighting for his life.

• 1:13:09Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, you could see that, though, looking at him.

• 1:13:11Speaker 01

  Totally. But like, maybe at some point, maybe you're like, do I want that or do I want silence? So I could just concentrate on my sex.

• 1:13:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right, plot twist, he does not propose, they break up. She's like, so we started making noise.

• 1:13:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:21Rayna Greenberg?

  It was the wrong ones.

• 1:13:22Speaker 01

  Well, you want to know that now.

• 1:13:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:13:26Rayna Greenberg?

  I just, I want to give people space to like, do what they want in the bedroom. Because like, I like a lot of noises and a lot of talking and dirty talk and like, that's what I like, but like, that might take somebody out of it. So maybe you're like, what I like is to be silent and maybe you guys just aren't a match. That's like, really important to me, to like, be with somebody that like, can talk dirty and emote in bed and like, it's not an immediate deal breaker, but it's up there.

• 1:13:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, and I do, there is such a spectrum. I stand firmly that these things can change. And I have had partners that were dead silent, that then dirty talked. You know, like, I think people learn new skills, they learn what you like. So it's, we always say, like, you can't base it off, like, the very beginning of your sex journey with somebody, but you were with someone for quite some time that just, I mean, a year in and still not one expression even while coming. And I think, you know, that might be a non-starter.

• 1:14:16Speaker 01

  Silent coming?

• 1:14:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Silent comer.

• 1:14:18Speaker 01

  No way. Could you tell it was happening?

• 1:14:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, but for other reasons.

• 1:14:21Speaker 01

  Was it like a shudder or like some?

• 1:14:23Rayna Greenberg?

  It was just sort of like a grunt and that was a, not barely a grunt. He's just also just not really emotive in life. Like, he's just not a really, like, excitable person. And we're still friends today. We're just not a romantic match in any way, at all.

• 1:14:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  But don't you think, I mean, I'd like to know, if there is men out there that are just, nothing's coming out of their mouth, they're completely mute, which may be what she's dealing with. Like, I would think most guys say, I'm gonna come, but maybe, like, he never did that either. I mean, that's the lowest bar, right?

• 1:14:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm not saying I'm gonna come. You know I'm coming. Like, and for a while, like, there was a buildup, there was a crescendo. Like, it's not, yeah, it's not a surprise.

• 1:15:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:15:00Speaker 01

  I'm not surprising anybody.

• 1:15:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:03Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I don't know. It's fine if it's a deal breaker.

• 1:15:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  But she could do that. Like, if, again, if he's never made a peep, like, she could be like, "Hey, could you just, like, tell me when you're gonna come?" Like, just so I know.

• 1:15:12Speaker 01

  But also, I think, have a conversation with your partner.

• 1:15:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:15Speaker 01

  Like, "Hey, it really turns me on when you make some noises. Like, how come you don't?" You know? You could be pointed. You could be direct about that kind of stuff.

• 1:15:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. The shame stuff is interesting, and I never really thought about it, but there is so much shame around sex for so many people, and masturbating, and maybe it just doesn't come natural to people to, like, emote that much.

• 1:15:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. Guys are kind of shut down, for the most part.

• 1:15:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:34Speaker 01

  I don't want to throw them under the bus, but like, you know, they're not, men aren't known to be the most emotionally expressive, so in sex, neither.

• 1:15:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And he could have never, obviously, done this with a previous partner. No one had any issue with it, so this is the first time it's coming up for him. And, you know, I have faith in him.

• 1:15:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Talk about it.

• 1:15:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 1:15:52Speaker 01

  You got this.

• 1:15:53Rayna Greenberg?

  My God, there's so many good ones.

• 1:15:54Speaker 01

  I'm gonna come.

• 1:15:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Isolate that soundbite, Tessa. We're gonna clip that.

• 1:16:02Rayna Greenberg?

  Can we talk about, like, frequency of sex and libido?

• 1:16:04Speaker 01

  We can talk about anything you want.

• 1:16:05Rayna Greenberg?

  So, a lot of questions came in about-

• 1:16:07Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no. Not that. Not libido. Not frequency.

• 1:16:11Rayna Greenberg?

  We talked about balls on my face. Yeah. A lot of people saying, "My sex drive is higher than my partner's," essentially. And how do I, like, bring up that I would like to be having more sex? And I'd like them to initiate it. Because I think, eventually, with a lot of people, you keep trying to initiate it, and you're shut down. And, I mean, how could you not turn it on yourself and say that? Maybe they're not attracted to me, you know? But I think that it makes you feel really bad. But if you, I think love is rare. It's hard to find people you care about, and this is something worth working on. So, I have more of a libido than my partner. How do I bring it up?

• 1:16:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. And it's usually, it's usually female has a higher libido than their male partners.

• 1:16:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  Which is, I feel like, this myth, that guys want to fuck all the time. You know, so women get in their head of, like, I thought that guys always were horny and down to fuck.

• 1:16:54Speaker 01

  As we get older-

• 1:16:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:16:56Speaker 01

  -we're less horny.

• 1:16:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:57Speaker 01

  And women end up being more horny.

• 1:16:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's kind of sad. It's kind of tragic. I feel like it's also one of the biggest complaints that some, that couples have.

• 1:17:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:05Speaker 01

  It's either, like, libido discrepancy or money. Those are the two things.

• 1:17:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:17:10Speaker 01

  And I don't know if I, I don't actually have the answer to this. I don't really know- It's funny, I was listening to something recently, it's like, women or people in relationships want their partner to act in a certain way, but if you have to ask for it, and then they do it, and then you go, "Well, I kinda wish you had just done it without me asking for it." But I don't see any other way around saying like, "I have a higher libido, it would feel good to me if you initiated a little bit more, and if we could find, like, meet somewhere in the middle." But there's gonna have to be some sort of compromise here.

• 1:17:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. I mean, we did talk about this at length with Anne Kerner, so you guys can listen back. But there is no just answer.

• 1:17:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  You know, I mean, it's communication and figuring out if you are a match and you can meet in the middle. I mean, I think as women, we feel embarrassed to bring this up, right? And then you're like, "Well, now you're only doing it." It's like, "I want you to wanna do the dishes."

• 1:18:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. "I don't wanna do the dishes."

• 1:18:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right, so it's tough, and I think you approach this with like, "I love you, if you do." You know, if that's where you're at in your relationship.

• 1:18:12Speaker 01

  I love our sex life.

• 1:18:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love our sex life, "I'm so turned on by you."

• 1:18:15Speaker 01

  I would love it even more if...

• 1:18:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, like, start with the positives, and see, and you could have a partner that doesn't even realize it. Maybe, and also, are we just in a stage of life where they're stressed with work? Like, what are you guys dealing with?

• 1:18:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's temporary.

• 1:18:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Is there any stresses in the relationship, like, reminding yourself that relationships ebb and flow? And they, couples go through highs and lows of having sex, too.

• 1:18:41Rayna Greenberg?

  And you take each other for granted, I think when you have children, I can't even imagine coming home after working a whole day and taking care of my kids, and then you feel sexy, you wanna have sex at the end of the day. Like, I think that a lot of people just fall into that script of like, "You're here, I get to sleep next to you." And I think trying to manufacture an environment that's a little sexier, I think massages are a great way to do that.

• 1:19:01Speaker 01

  Schedule that shit also. I know it's unsexy, but like, I think if you have a family and you're really busy,

• 1:19:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:08Speaker 01

  scheduling sex is like a total, I think it's a winning strategy.

• 1:19:12Rayna Greenberg?

  I think there's a lot of like, pros and cons to scheduling sex, and people have like, a big reaction to it, like, "I would never do that."

• 1:19:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:19:18Rayna Greenberg?

  But if nothing's working, why not try this thing?

• 1:19:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, you schedule a date night, so, you know... Is it part of that? But why are we scheduling like our romantic night out, but not the intimacy part of it?

• 1:19:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. Also fuck before dinner, if you can.

• 1:19:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Thank you.

• 1:19:32Rayna Greenberg?

  I love.

• 1:19:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  We could do a whole episode on this.

• 1:19:34Speaker 01

  Fuck before dinner.

• 1:19:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  What?

• 1:19:35Speaker 01

  Fuck first. I just did this with someone. Yeah. And you're gonna enjoy the meal.

• 1:19:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Totally.

• 1:19:39Speaker 01

  She was like, kinda not into it. It was like, took, took her a while to like, wrap her head around it.

• 1:19:44Rayna Greenberg?

  Somebody you were having sex with before dinner?

• 1:19:46Speaker 01

  Y- yes.

• 1:19:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 1:19:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  I, I am never hornier than the afternoon, early evening.

• 1:19:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  And I'm never less horny than after a giant meal.

• 1:19:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  You're just like pushing on my stomach.

• 1:19:58Speaker 01

  She wanted to connect more before sex. And I was like, look, girl, we'll connect after sex.

• 1:20:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Sean's like, we'll get to you and your feelings after I come.

• 1:20:08Speaker 01

  Don't worry. Yeah, exactly.

• 1:20:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  This will make me wanna talk to you.

• 1:20:11Speaker 01

  Well, the fear was that, that I, that I wasn't gonna wanna talk to her because, because after sex, then it's like, some people just aren't into it anymore.

• 1:20:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, but it's like, we have a reservation. You know, we're locked into dinner regardless.

• 1:20:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're going.

• 1:20:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  So have sex before.

• 1:20:24Speaker 01

  I got 20 bucks on this thing. I got a deposit.

• 1:20:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Do you Peloton at all?

• 1:20:27Speaker 01

  No, but I have, I have.

• 1:20:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. Well, so I was taking a Cody Rigsby class the other day, and he started in on this of like, why are we having sex after dinner? Like, it should always be before you eat.

• 1:20:37Rayna Greenberg?

  You know, my nighttime sex is my least favorite. After my whole day, I've done my skincare routine.

• 1:20:43Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:20:44Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm going to sleep.

• 1:20:44Speaker 01

  Balls on your face after that? No. You gotta do it again. You gotta clean your face again after that.

• 1:20:50Rayna Greenberg?

  I had a full face of makeup on when that was happening.

• 1:20:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right now.

• 1:20:53Rayna Greenberg?

  I just had two little eye holes on his balls.

• 1:20:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, he's like, you have mascara running down. Yeah. He's like, you got mascara on my balls. You have to rub it off.

• 1:21:01Speaker 01

  Wait, one more thing is if your male partner's looking at porn, and you're not having sex, there's an issue.

• 1:21:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Hmm. Okay.

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  I don't wanna shame anybody for their porn use. Like, yeah, it's like, you have a solo sex life, that's okay. But if you're prioritizing masturbating to porn over having sex with your partner, that, that's probably an issue.

• 1:21:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes. The issue is actually not that you don't have libido, it's that you aren't having sex with me.

• 1:21:24Speaker 01

  That you're, yeah, exactly.

• 1:21:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And then, then that is, I, there, there is no way to diagnose that without all the information. How long have you been together? What's going on in the relationship? I mean, that's like, sometimes where a third party needs to, to come in.

• 1:21:36Speaker 01

  And I'm not, yeah, I don't, I don't wanna say like, don't look at porn, don't masturbate on your own. That's not what I'm saying, but there could be something to explore there.

• 1:21:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And that's tough. I mean, I'm sure women listening are experiencing this now or they have in the past where they're not having the sex life they want with their partner, but they know he's still watching porn and masturbating. That's really hurtful.

• 1:21:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:57Speaker 01

  And non-monogamy is also, could be a solution for some people, obviously not everybody.

• 1:22:03Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, I think it's fair to open up that conversation and say like, sex is really important to me and like feeling connected physically to somebody. And if you are refusing to give that to me, then I should be allowed to explore this somewhere else. You're allowed to say no and go.

• 1:22:16Speaker 01

  And you're allowed to leave. Yeah. And that might even take some pressure off of the partner who has a lower libido. You know, like, oh, okay, my partner is getting laid and is happy and I don't have to feel bad or guilty about that. That can be nice.

• 1:22:28Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:28Speaker 01

  It's an advanced strategy. I'm not saying like anyone

• 1:22:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Totally.

• 1:22:31Speaker 01

  can just jump into non-monogamy. But there are books like opening up, you know, that walk you through the whole thing.

• 1:22:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  This comes up a lot over all the years we've been doing this of just wanting your partner to initiate sex. And I do think you have to ask yourself, like, have they ever, you know, like, do you want things to go back to a way that they were? Or are you wanting someone to be someone that they never really have been? So I think that's a question to ask yourself too. Like, has something changed? Or have you just been like, I want what I see in the movies? Or I want what I see in my friends' relationships? Or I want him to, you know, rip my clothes off in this way? And it's like, well, is that who we're talking about? Has he ever been that guy? You know, so that's something too.

• 1:23:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, maybe not.

• 1:23:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right. Yeah.

• 1:23:12Speaker 01

  There's also, you can bridge the gap a little bit.

• 1:23:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:15Speaker 01

  We can invite people to try on different.

• 1:23:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And you shouldn't have to shape shift to turn him on, but Raina saying like, is the environment conducive to sex? Are we cleaning up our side of the street first to kind of make it sexy too, is a good place to start.

• 1:23:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Take a shower together, you know?

• 1:23:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  The massages, yeah.

• 1:23:37Rayna Greenberg?

  The massages are a good idea.

• 1:23:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Or suck and blow gel.

• 1:23:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:41Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:23:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  We have a like oral enhancer.

• 1:23:44Rayna Greenberg?

  We'll send you home with some.

• 1:23:45Speaker 01

  Oh, cool.

• 1:23:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, we're gonna send you home with some.

• 1:23:46Speaker 01

  It's like a flowbee but for...

• 1:23:48Rayna Greenberg?

  It's flavored lube essentially.

• 1:23:49Speaker 01

  Oh, yummy.

• 1:23:50Rayna Greenberg?

  It's meant for oral. Yeah. But I think, you know, create an environment. Turn the lights off in the bathroom, light some candles, take a shower together.

• 1:23:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. Also, talk about sex. I feel like, I love all that. Like, that's like very situational, but also can we get there through just talking about what we love, what we wish we could have more of? There's a great tool called the Yes, No, Maybe List. You can Google it. There's a good one by a company or an organization called Autostraddle. Auto, A-U-T-O, straddle.

• 1:24:18Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 1:24:19Speaker 01

  And it's basically this whole exercise that you can go and take with your partner or the person that you're sleeping with. It could even be like a new person. Take it to a cool bar, a cool restaurant, bring pens. And it's basically allows you to learn things that you want to do, don't want to do, or might want to do at some point.

• 1:24:37Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. I love this.

• 1:24:38Speaker 01

  All these different strategies, like all these different little things that you might not think of, like kissing in the shower, or like playing with wax, or like the gamut. Really, the gamut from like really mild to really wild.

• 1:24:50Rayna Greenberg?

  I like the idea that somebody else facilitates this, that you're not really on the hook for this, these questions, that you're just like, I found this list, why don't we do it together at dinner?

• 1:24:58Speaker 01

  Yeah. And you can circle like a happy face or a sad face next to the things that you want to try or absolutely don't want to try. And then there's other things, like, I love it when you refer to my genitals as this. Never refer to my genitals as this.

• 1:25:10Rayna Greenberg?

  I love this.

• 1:25:11Speaker 01

  So you can like, I don't know that you don't like me, you don't like it when I call it dick, but you really like it when I call it a cock.

• 1:25:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Cock, yeah.

• 1:25:17Speaker 01

  And then you start, then you're like...

• 1:25:20Rayna Greenberg?

  I love that. Like, this whole time dick's been taking him out of it.

• 1:25:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:23Rayna Greenberg?

  You know, he's like, I haven't said, I haven't made a moan in bed because you've been calling it a dick.

• 1:25:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:27Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm trying to do a sick cock.

• 1:25:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. A winkle or whatever. I don't know.

• 1:25:31Rayna Greenberg?

  I like slut. I don't like whore.

• 1:25:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:33Rayna Greenberg?

  They feel different to me.

• 1:25:34Speaker 01

  Totally. They are different.

• 1:25:35Rayna Greenberg?

  They are. They feel different to me. Like slut all day. Whore, I'm like, do you, do you hate your mother?

• 1:25:40Speaker 01

  Fuck you. Yeah.

• 1:25:41Rayna Greenberg?

  Why are you talking to me like this?

• 1:25:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Fuck you whore. I'm like, that's right, I am.

• 1:25:46Speaker 01

  Yeah. So the Yes, No, Maybe List.

• 1:25:48Rayna Greenberg?

  Small change.

• 1:25:48Speaker 01

  Small change. It makes a huge difference.

• 1:25:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. Well, then, speaking of this, what are you supposed to call men during sex? Some don't like daddy. So like, what?

• 1:25:56Rayna Greenberg?

  I like that she's, her only vocabulary is daddy.

• 1:26:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, I appreciate the question.

• 1:26:02Rayna Greenberg?

  But like, a new person, baby sounds weird, babe sounds weird. Daddy is not for, that's not flying out of a...

• 1:26:09Speaker 01

  You don't have to call him anything.

• 1:26:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's the thing too. You don't have to call him anything. I'm trying to, I'm thinking of my own experience, like...

• 1:26:14Speaker 01

  Fuck me harder.

• 1:26:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  I don't know that I call him anything.

• 1:26:18Rayna Greenberg?

  I've busted out a daddy here and there, but it depends on who I'm with.

• 1:26:21Speaker 01

  Or their name is actually kind of hot.

• 1:26:22Rayna Greenberg?

  Their name.

• 1:26:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, don't forget their name.

• 1:26:24Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:25Speaker 01

  Use their name.

• 1:26:26Rayna Greenberg?

  God.

• 1:26:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:26:27Speaker 01

  God?

• 1:26:27Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, oh, my god.

• 1:26:28Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 1:26:28Rayna Greenberg?

  God.

• 1:26:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I mean, I'm curious what she's really itching to call him. Like, I really do appreciate the question.

• 1:26:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Me, too.

• 1:26:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Do you call him something else outside of the bedroom? Like, yeah, I guess I'm saying babe sometimes.

• 1:26:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, sweetie. Yes, yeah.

• 1:26:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Sweetie.

• 1:26:43Speaker 01

  Okay, I lived in Panama for a little while.

• 1:26:46Rayna Greenberg?

  Sean, you're so interesting.

• 1:26:47Speaker 01

  I started a hostel for motorcycle travelers a long time ago.

• 1:26:50Rayna Greenberg?

  Obviously.

• 1:26:51Speaker 01

  And I was like, I had read The Game. This was like when The Game kind of came out, and it fucked me up. Because I was like, this is wrong.

• 1:26:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Super toxic.

• 1:26:58Speaker 01

  Doesn't feel right.

• 1:26:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Good, I'm glad you said that.

• 1:27:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, and but I guess I'll try some of these, like, waiting three days to text back or whatever. But I was also in Panama. I didn't speak Spanish at the time. I do now. And I just had a really hard time connecting with people. And this was like pre-dating apps. And anyways, I was like getting really horny and kind of desperate. And my buddies were like, this is bad, dude. Like, you're everywhere you're going, like, you can't stop thinking or talking about sex. And like, I was just like really, and you could smell.

• 1:27:23Rayna Greenberg?

  You're embarrassing us, Sean.

• 1:27:24Speaker 01

  You could smell the desperation.

• 1:27:26Rayna Greenberg?

  Uh huh.

• 1:27:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 1:27:27Speaker 01

  Anyways, yeah, I was, so he brought me to a brothel. And he's like, we just got to get this out of your system.

• 1:27:32Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:33Speaker 01

  And she said, "Que rico, papi." Right, which is like, and it just, it really worked.

• 1:27:39Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 1:27:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Trigger button.

• 1:27:40Speaker 01

  So for me, poppy works.

• 1:27:41Rayna Greenberg?

  There we go.

• 1:27:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, poppy.

• 1:27:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's so funny to say that, just some white dude, just some average white dude calling poppy.

• 1:27:47Speaker 01

  Calling poppy.

• 1:27:48Rayna Greenberg?

  Who did I call? I called [BLEEP] poppy. This little white boy, five eight.

• 1:27:52Speaker 01

  So if you don't like daddy, call him poppy.

• 1:27:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Poppy? Listen, try it. I like it, poppy. I like daddy. I mean, not everybody is the daddy.

• 1:28:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's true.

• 1:28:01Rayna Greenberg?

  Not everybody can absorb the daddy.

• 1:28:02Speaker 01

  The daddy energy.

• 1:28:03Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 1:28:04Speaker 01

  I will say that it did work after the brothel experience.

• 1:28:06Rayna Greenberg?

  What worked?

• 1:28:07Speaker 01

  I wasn't so desperate and like.

• 1:28:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  And you stopped using The Game, obviously.

• 1:28:10Speaker 01

  I stopped using The Game, and I like went on regular dates with people.

• 1:28:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  Text back immediately.

• 1:28:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I treated him nicely.

• 1:28:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. I don't do daddy. I don't know. I don't think this is a big shocker to anybody. Yeah, like, I don't, I don't, I guess I would if my partner wanted it, but like, I have never done it. And like, I think it would really throw him off.

• 1:28:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 1:28:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  So. I think if you call him babe or baby outside of the bedroom, bring it into the bedroom, his name, or nothing.

• 1:28:38Speaker 01

  Or nothing.

• 1:28:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:40Speaker 01

  We solved this one.

• 1:28:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:41Rayna Greenberg?

  Daddy feels more natural to me sexting and not actually saying it out loud.

• 1:28:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, if I were to say daddy, it would be a bit.

• 1:28:48Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, we both start la- like, it would be, he would, he would know it's a joke.

• 1:28:54Rayna Greenberg?

  He'd be like, Ashley said the funniest thing during sex.

• 1:28:56Speaker 01

  Called me daddy.

• 1:28:57Rayna Greenberg?

  She's telling me jokes.

• 1:28:59Speaker 01

  I mean, it's hot to be called daddy, for sure.

• 1:29:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  I get it. I'm not, I'm not shaming it. It's just, it's not in my repertoire. I've asked my fiance, like, do you want me to call you daddy? He was like, no. I was like, glad we got past that. No daddy, no anal.

• 1:29:14Speaker 01

  No daddy, no anal.

• 1:29:15Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, can we wrap up with anal?

• 1:29:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 1:29:17Speaker 01

  Love it. Yes, love it.

• 1:29:18Rayna Greenberg?

  This was one of the most asked questions. How do I get more into anal?

• 1:29:23Speaker 01

  Do we have time? We don't have time for anal. This is.

• 1:29:25Rayna Greenberg?

  There's always time for anal, Sean.

• 1:29:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Let's, five minutes for anal.

• 1:29:28Speaker 01

  It's like, it's like Jell-O.

• 1:29:29Rayna Greenberg?

  So, this came up a ton about anal, and I'm like, I thought we talked about this so much.

• 1:29:35Speaker 01

  I love it.

• 1:29:36Rayna Greenberg?

  We had someone on the show, Dr. Evan Goldstein, and did a whole episode about, like, anal from a doctor. It was two years ago in February, so you guys can look that up. But I think that, like, so many women are like, I genuinely don't care for this, but my partner wants to do it. I don't want to, like, there's this whole hole that, like, I'm not using, and they are requesting it. Like, how can I make this marginally enjoyable for myself?

• 1:29:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, that's actually a pretty common scenario. I've, like, I've experienced women that are like, I'm not really into it, but if it makes you happy, I'm happy to, like, give it a shot. I think you have to be kind of, you, you kind of want to want it. You, you gotta want to want it.

• 1:30:11Rayna Greenberg?

  So, as a man, you, you have sex with females, like, and somebody's sitting there like, oh, oh, yeah, like, why, who would enjoy that?

• 1:30:19Speaker 01

  Well, you can't just, I mean, there's a lot of preparation that comes into having anal sex.

• 1:30:23Rayna Greenberg?

  So, what kind of prep do you do?

• 1:30:25Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, butt plugs are a really good place to start.

• 1:30:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, training kit?

• 1:30:29Speaker 01

  A training kit with, with different sized butt plugs. Start small, medium, and large.

• 1:30:34Rayna Greenberg?

  Right. Starting with a full-sized penis, I mean, that's, it's gonna hurt.

• 1:30:38Speaker 01

  Or a full-sized butt plug. The great thing about butt plugs is that they just, they, they're static. They just stay there. And then your, your butthole sort of just, like, gets used to being kind of stretched out a little bit.

• 1:30:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  We, we sell a great butt plug, and it is, it's not too large. It's a great size. It really could be for a novice or an expert, and, you know, obviously, lube is so important.

• 1:30:58Speaker 01

  Lots of lube pushing out is actually kind of a power move when you're like taking in either the butt plug or a penis is like bearing down, kind of like you would poop.

• 1:31:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 1:31:08Speaker 01

  Sort of like, I don't know, it just kind of primes the sphincter for something to come in.

• 1:31:13Rayna Greenberg?

  I think it's really not a familiar sensation for a lot of people. And so if you've never done it before, and all of a sudden, there's this thing introduced to the cavity of your body, like, it's hard to like that. So I like the idea of training with smaller plugs. You just get to use the sensation.

• 1:31:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, we talked about this at length with, with Dr. Evan. You guys can listen back. We asked all the questions. Is there poop always in there, et cetera?

• 1:31:32Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:31:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, it just depends. A lot of times there is poop in there, right, right in there. A lot of times there's not.

• 1:31:38Speaker 01

  Well, the reality is you can't keep knocking on poop's door expecting poop not to be home.

• 1:31:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, exactly.

• 1:31:47Speaker 01

  I mean, poop's gonna be home sometimes. Why are you coming by?

• 1:31:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I think the question, talking with you, and you're not technically a doctor, is this whole like, I don't want to, and he wants to, and like, I don't really know what to tell you there, you know, like, are you in a position with your partner where you're feeling anxiety surrounding, he wants to do this thing that I really don't want to do? And I don't know that I have the answer to that.

• 1:32:12Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, you're, not everybody's gonna enjoy it and find it pleasurable. I don't like it. I've never had an anal experience I enjoyed, whether it was even a finger, because I think you can like work your way into it with like.

• 1:32:21Speaker 01

  Oh, you should work your way in with a finger, for sure. 100%.

• 1:32:24Rayna Greenberg?

  And just get used to that sensation. But for me, I just, I really don't enjoy it, like, to the point that like, I'm really not gonna be that fun while it's happening either. And I can deal with a finger, even though I like, kind of hate it. It doesn't feel so bad. But a whole penis, I don't want it. I don't like it.

• 1:32:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, also, has this hypothetical couple done a finger? You know, like, if a guy is like, hey, I really want to put it in your butt. I'm like, put your finger in there. We're gonna start there for me and for you.

• 1:32:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  You know, like, eat it, eat it out, eat my butt then.

• 1:32:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, eat my butt, get the finger wet, put the finger in, let's see what that feels like.

• 1:32:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  You don't just get to come in hot.

• 1:32:57Speaker 01

  You can't come in hot. You cannot, 100%.

• 1:32:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  We're not doing anal unless you've eaten my ass a couple times.

• 1:33:02Speaker 01

  Uh, more, but yeah, that's at the very minimum, you eat the ass.

• 1:33:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:33:06Speaker 01

  Then you need way more, like, I'm saying, if you've never had anal sex. Like you're gonna need a couple hours to feel comfortable enough to take a penis. If not a couple sessions.

• 1:33:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:17Speaker 01

  This is not something that you just do on a drunken Wednesday.

• 1:33:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 1:33:20Speaker 01

  You don't want to kind of fire in into it really quickly. Like this is just gonna take a while.

• 1:33:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, but I want to know that you want this booty hole so bad and that might turn me on. So as opposed to like, my man just wants to do anal because he heard it's tighter, whatever he wants. Like it's like, I want to know that you want my butt so bad that you are eating it regularly, that you've stuck your finger in there. Like I think that would turn me on more than like, he just wants to put it in because he thinks it's gonna be tight.

• 1:33:45Speaker 01

  And that you're willing to do the work.

• 1:33:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Thank you.

• 1:33:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  I need you to do the work.

• 1:33:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're willing to take two hours to like really warm me up and do everything that you need to make sure that this doesn't hurt at all. And not only does it not hurt, it feels good.

• 1:33:59Rayna Greenberg?

  What if I have this project with me? If you want this so bad.

• 1:34:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right. I mean, weeks in a va- like eat my ass weekly through Q1.

• 1:34:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  And we'll address this.

• 1:34:09Speaker 01

  In Q2.

• 1:34:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  In April.

• 1:34:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, I will also say that some women, some people love, they are, they are butt sluts.

• 1:34:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Totally.

• 1:34:17Speaker 01

  They love butt sex. So we're talking about like, oh, make it not hurt, you know, like make it pleasure. Well, some people really get off, they get off on it. And so like, you know, obviously this is not this person.

• 1:34:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:34:28Speaker 01

  Like could be that person if you fucking do it right.

• 1:34:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:34:31Speaker 01

  If you do it right.

• 1:34:31Rayna Greenberg?

  But those people that like love it also didn't like do anal for the first time and thought like it's the best thing ever. Like you've got to work towards it.

• 1:34:38Speaker 01

  Maybe they did. Who knows?

• 1:34:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Maybe. Yeah, who's to say?

• 1:34:40Speaker 01

  Who knows?

• 1:34:41Rayna Greenberg?

  Maybe I'll be a butt slut. If I believe in it hard enough, maybe I'll be a butt slut.

• 1:34:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, and go slow. I mean, it's not, yeah, take your time.

• 1:34:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. I just think you need to reframe it in some way to turn yourself on about it. You know what I mean? And for me, that would be like, he cannot get enough of my butt, you know?

• 1:34:56Speaker 01

  I'll be honest, I love butt stuff.

• 1:34:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:58Speaker 01

  I cannot get enough of it.

• 1:34:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Anal too? Like all of it?

• 1:35:01Speaker 01

  All of it. I don't get a lot of it, but I can't get enough of it.

• 1:35:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. Could you be with someone who was like hard line, no anal?

• 1:35:10Speaker 01

  I'm not sure.

• 1:35:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 1:35:12Speaker 01

  I'm not, I'm not sure. Yeah, I'm not sure.

• 1:35:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Totally.

• 1:35:14Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't, if somebody was like, every time, we gotta do butt stuff, I don't think they could date me.

• 1:35:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  But like, it's, it goes back to our original question, like, could you or I be with someone who refused to utter a word in the bedroom? Probably not. You know, like, they're not that dissimilar. It's like, we like what we like, and some people have boundaries surrounding those things, and that may not be your partner.

• 1:35:33Rayna Greenberg?

  But it sounds like also, you're like, I want this, but I'll work with you on it. I'll train that butthole.

• 1:35:37Speaker 01

  Oh, I'll train the butthole, I'll take my time with you. There's no, there's no pressure, there's no rush. Yeah.

• 1:35:43Rayna Greenberg?

  For somebody who really doesn't like butt stuff, people cannot get enough of my butthole. I, just, every guy wants to be inside of it.

• 1:35:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's a good one, right?

• 1:35:50Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, yeah, I was told I have a perfect butthole, just an absolutely perfect butthole.

• 1:35:53Speaker 01

  What makes it perfect?

• 1:35:54Rayna Greenberg?

  Color.

• 1:35:55Speaker 01

  Color.

• 1:35:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Color.

• 1:35:56Speaker 01

  Not too brown?

• 1:35:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Cleanliness? It's totally pink.

• 1:35:58Speaker 01

  It's totally pink. Cleanliness?

• 1:36:01Rayna Greenberg?

  I guess cleanliness and color.

• 1:36:02Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, maybe, I mean, it's also who the butthole belongs to.

• 1:36:06Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, I'm so tiny.

• 1:36:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, the butt.

• 1:36:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:09Speaker 01

  You know, the butt that surrounds the butthole, yeah.

• 1:36:12Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. People forget about my butt, because my boobs are so big, but it's a good butt.

• 1:36:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, it is.

• 1:36:18Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  One final wild card, Sean.

• 1:36:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:36:21Rayna Greenberg?

  Why?

• 1:36:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Are you gonna, you're gonna ask my?

• 1:36:23Rayna Greenberg?

  Everyone, no, you do it.

• 1:36:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, no, I'm not gonna take it away from you.

• 1:36:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, I'm glad that your sha, your head's shaved today. Why do bald guys eat pussy so much better? And then I made a note, Sean shaved his head, we can ask him if it makes him actually better.

• 1:36:34Speaker 01

  So, I saw a video, and they, I saw a reel recently, and it was like, man on the street kinda stuff, and they're asking drunk people stuff, and someone had asked them, what gets better with age? And someone said, a bald man's cock.

• 1:36:49Rayna Greenberg?

  What?

• 1:36:50Speaker 01

  Which I think it's like, you have to try harder if you're bald.

• 1:36:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, it's like being short?

• 1:36:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Psychological reason behind it.

• 1:36:56Speaker 01

  It's like being short, yeah.

• 1:36:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Are you bald? You're not bald, though.

• 1:36:58Speaker 01

  I'm balding.

• 1:36:59Rayna Greenberg?

  You are?

• 1:37:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's like, it's thinner here, and it's thin, I went early. I shaved early.

• 1:37:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, because I wouldn't be able to tell you have any male pattern going on.

• 1:37:07Speaker 01

  But if, it's, my hair is longer, you can see the scalp, and I didn't like it.

• 1:37:11Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 1:37:11Speaker 01

  And so I shaved it in June.

• 1:37:14Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 1:37:14Speaker 01

  And I'm still getting used to it.

• 1:37:16Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 1:37:17Speaker 01

  But, and I still don't love it. I don't love the way I look in photos, I like how I look in the mirror.

• 1:37:22Rayna Greenberg?

  Interesting.

• 1:37:22Speaker 01

  I'm still getting used to it.

• 1:37:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  I get that.

• 1:37:24Rayna Greenberg?

  That's my face.

• 1:37:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's a lot to get used to.

• 1:37:26Rayna Greenberg?

  That's how I feel about my face. I look in the mirror and I'm like, she's killing it. I look at a photo, I'm like, that's what I look like.

• 1:37:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, what's happening? What's happening?

• 1:37:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Um, we encourage people to shave their heads. I often encourage men to go bald.

• 1:37:37Speaker 01

  Well, I'm also not willing to take any like finasteride or Rogaine because of what it does to your hormones.

• 1:37:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 1:37:42Speaker 01

  And it's like, it can impact your libido in a very serious way. And there's even something called post finasteride syndrome, which is people who take Propecia to get, to keep their hair or grow their hair back. They get a problem. They get like erectile dysfunction or watery semen or all this kind of weird low libido. They stop taking the pills. The, the side effects persist.

• 1:38:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Uh, yikes. Cause I mean,

• 1:38:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh no.

• 1:38:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  everything comes at a cost. I don't know. Like, there's no, I feel like perfect solution to a lot of certain things like that. And I mean, also the thing with Rogaine, cause now they have it for menoxidil, they have it for women too, is, cause I, I was having some shedding and I looked into it and you gotta commit to it forever.

• 1:38:18Speaker 01

  Also, there's side effects to Rogaine.

• 1:38:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:21Speaker 01

  There's facial sagging can come from Rogaine.

• 1:38:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:24Speaker 01

  Yeah. So it's, it's gonna cost. So I was like, do I want a hard cock or a bald head?

• 1:38:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:38:28Speaker 01

  You know, and I was like,

• 1:38:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Bald head?

• 1:38:30Speaker 01

  I'm gonna pick, wait, both. Yeah, sorry. A head of hair or a hard cock?

• 1:38:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I think there's something to this, like, just a little bit of trying harder. If this is a correlation. It's just like, I'm bald now, I gotta eat pussy a little better.

• 1:38:42Speaker 01

  And I gotta hit the gym.

• 1:38:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  Uh huh.

• 1:38:43Speaker 01

  I gotta hit the gym. I gotta get, you know, abs or whatever, and I gotta eat pussy. But I've, I've always eaten pussy. That's never changed.

• 1:38:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 1:38:51Speaker 01

  So I don't know what it is about bald dudes and eating pussy.

• 1:38:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  When did you start?

• 1:38:55Speaker 01

  Eating pussy?

• 1:38:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like in high school?

• 1:38:56Speaker 01

  Like, like in middle school.

• 1:38:58Rayna Greenberg?

  What? You were eating pussies in middle school?

• 1:39:01Speaker 01

  Okay, no.

• 1:39:01Rayna Greenberg?

  Like other middle schoolers?

• 1:39:04Speaker 01

  Well, who else would it be?

• 1:39:06Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, do you remember when you first heard about people putting their mouth on your vagina?

• 1:39:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Bro, I remember hearing the term eating her out in middle school. And I was like, what are you talking about? Like, I was like, what do you mean?

• 1:39:17Speaker 01

  I think I must've been in high school.

• 1:39:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, no, I'm not shaming. Like,

• 1:39:21Speaker 01

  No, no, I know, but I'm trying to think, I'm trying to think.

• 1:39:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:24Speaker 01

  I think her name was Lily and I think I was in, I was a freshman in high school.

• 1:39:27Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. How old were you first time somebody went down on you? It was May 5th, 2001.

• 1:39:34Speaker 01

  What happened on May 5th, 2001?

• 1:39:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  That was my senior prom.

• 1:39:38Speaker 01

  Oh, nice.

• 1:39:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So up until then, like I'd been fingered and everything, but that was the first time someone ate my pussy. And I was like, what the fuck? Like, it's crazy. They just like go down there and start licking. Like, I was like, this is wild.

• 1:39:51Rayna Greenberg?

  They usually have an orgasm. It's crazy.

• 1:39:53Speaker 01

  I've never not eaten pussy. Like, I can't, I can think of one or two interactions where I have not, and it's only because she wasn't comfortable with it. Like, it felt too intimate.

• 1:40:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Love it. Yeah. I mean, we had Tinks on. Do you know Tinks?

• 1:40:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  And she kind of is like, guys who don't eat pussy are like, my hard line. She's like, I think it just says a lot about them. And she's like, I know this might be controversial and people can change, but like, an adult man who is like, I don't do that. I don't like to do it. She's like, for personally, it's not for me. And I agree with that stance.

• 1:40:24Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:40:24Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't know, because I think about like, a woman saying like, well, I don't suck dick. And like, that's also like a personal preference. Like, you don't have to be with somebody that doesn't like that. But I'm not like so crazy about people going down on me. It's not that I don't like come. I come like too fast from it. And I'm just like done with the experience. But like, I don't, I don't need it. But guys that don't want to do it.

• 1:40:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's the thing.

• 1:40:43Speaker 01

  That's different.

• 1:40:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Then that's different to me. Like, I'm like, I'm not requesting it on the menu every single day. But like, if you are a hard line, I don't do it.

• 1:40:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I want you to want to do the dishes.

• 1:40:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  I want you to want to eat my pussy.

• 1:40:54Speaker 01

  It's giving misogyny or something.

• 1:40:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 1:40:56Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't exactly understand, but I feel like people who don't go down kind of hate women.

• 1:41:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Mm-hmm. Yeah, I love that.

• 1:41:03Speaker 01

  And it's not man, it's like not manly to go down on a woman.

• 1:41:06Rayna Greenberg?

  Also, like, why should I be like sucking your dick, choking, tears down my face, trying to breathe?

• 1:41:11Speaker 01

  Balls in my, yeah, balls in my eye sockets.

• 1:41:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  On my cheeks.

• 1:41:14Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. A harder job than eating pussy. And you're just like, I'm all set?

• 1:41:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, no, I could never.

• 1:41:19Speaker 01

  They don't call it a blowjob for nothing.

• 1:41:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  I've never experienced a guy like that. And I don't want to.

• 1:41:23Rayna Greenberg?

  That won't go down on you?

• 1:41:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. I've, because I only like liberal men.

• 1:41:27Speaker 01

  You don't like liberal men?

• 1:41:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  I only like liberal men.

• 1:41:29Rayna Greenberg?

  I've let a couple of moderates sneak in there, okay? And maybe a conservative too.

• 1:41:34Speaker 01

  Just to see what it would feel like.

• 1:41:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, it depends how tall they are.

• 1:41:38Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, well.

• 1:41:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Not anymore.

• 1:41:40Speaker 01

  Did we answer the question?

• 1:41:41Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:41Speaker 01

  Bald man going down?

• 1:41:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think it's a little bit of compensating.

• 1:41:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Try harder, yeah.

• 1:41:45Speaker 01

  To anybody who's considering shaving their head, it has, I don't think it has impacted.

• 1:41:52Speaker 01

  How people view me, or like, I'm still able to-

• 1:41:54Rayna Greenberg?

  Or for the better.

• 1:41:56Speaker 01

  Maybe only for the better, I don't know. I mean, there are probably some women that are just like, "I'm not into a shaved head." Like, that's not my style, you know? But for the most part, I'm still able to flirt with people and go on dates, and it doesn't seem to have impacted-

• 1:42:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:08Speaker 01

  -my love life in any negative way.

• 1:42:10Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm glad to hear it. I have been a one-woman marketing machine for bald guys for seven years.

• 1:42:15Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:42:16Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, for years, I've been like, "Go get a guy that has a beard, that's bald, that's so sexy, it's so confident to me."

• 1:42:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:22Rayna Greenberg?

  Because like, you are walking around, I guess, with not like, the quote-unquote "normal haircut." I think it's so confident and sexy.

• 1:42:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, I'm sure there's guys out there that are like, "Listen, yeah, what I would prefer is a full head of hair, but..."

• 1:42:34Speaker 01

  I would prefer a full head of hair.

• 1:42:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, but like, the worst-case scenario is like, thinning balding hair.

• 1:42:40Speaker 01

  Or a limp cock.

• 1:42:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Or that.

• 1:42:42Speaker 01

  And some weird regime where you have to like, fuck with your scalp for three hours a day. I don't have time for that.

• 1:42:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  You have to go on a ski trip.

• 1:42:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm going skiing.

• 1:42:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  She convinced a guy friend to shave his head, and he was like, holding on to that last, you know, patchy-

• 1:42:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  And he's so much hotter, and I feel like he's so much more confident, and he pulls it off, but it's just like, the worst thing you can do is really hold on for dear life.

• 1:43:06Speaker 01

  It's the spiritual path-

• 1:43:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:08Speaker 01

  Of, the fact is that we are aging. It's coming for all of us.

• 1:43:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:43:12Speaker 01

  The bodies are not as tight, things are sagging, things don't, you know?

• 1:43:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  And it's a privilege.

• 1:43:17Speaker 01

  And it's like, we just have to accept the fact that we're changing. We don't have to like, lay down and fucking get bulldozed by it. We can still go to the gym, eat well, sleep well, drink water, all that stuff, but like, we're getting colder.

• 1:43:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, and it just happens gradually. Like, I always thought I was gonna like, lose my fucking mind when I saw gray hair, and I'm like, "I have a couple, I'm fine."

• 1:43:35Rayna Greenberg?

  You're fine.

• 1:43:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, I thought I would like, freak out, and I'm like, "Oh, yeah, all right, whatever."

• 1:43:40Speaker 01

  Gray hair's cool. I started going gray when I was 15, so for me, it like-

• 1:43:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:44Rayna Greenberg?

  Uh-huh.

• 1:43:45Speaker 01

  I just kind of got used to it.

• 1:43:46Rayna Greenberg?

  Been dealing with it for a long time.

• 1:43:47Speaker 01

  Was this not the best?

• 1:43:48Rayna Greenberg?

  It's just fun. I'm glad you showed up.

• 1:43:50Speaker 01

  Holy, yeah, me too. I didn't know it was gonna be so fun.

• 1:43:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, you wouldn't have shown up? What is that?

• 1:43:58Speaker 01

  No, I wouldn't have canceled.

• 1:43:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Everybody has fun.

• 1:44:00Rayna Greenberg?

  Everybody really likes us. They do. People love coming on this show.

• 1:44:03Speaker 01

  I've heard great things, and now I can confirm them.

• 1:44:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  I just, these dogs, you know?

• 1:44:07Speaker 01

  The dogs are special.

• 1:44:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right, they really are.

• 1:44:09Speaker 01

  The dogs are special.

• 1:44:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  I just loved talking about just anal and eating pussy just over these two.

• 1:44:15Speaker 01

  Angels, angels.

• 1:44:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Tess has been laughing out loud the whole time. I'm really, I loved this episode. Well, I'm sure people want more of you. Tell them where to find your Instagram, your website, your podcast, everything.

• 1:44:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, my Instagram is thelovedrive. I have a podcast with the Angry Therapist, John Kim. It's called We Can Do Better, about how men and people can be better when we take listener questions. And I have a Substack called The Love Drive where I write about a lot more intimate parts of my life. And I have a retreat coming up in June at Karpalu, which is like a hippie yoga center in Western Massachusetts.

• 1:44:49Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 1:44:49Speaker 01

  And it's called Love Camp, June 20, 21, and 22. All that stuff is at the link in my bio on Instagram.

• 1:44:56Rayna Greenberg?

  Amazing.

• 1:44:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Amazing.

• 1:44:57Rayna Greenberg?

  This was so much fun. Thank you for doing this.

• 1:44:58Speaker 01

  Thank you so much. I loved it.

• 1:45:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  And you guys know where to find us, girlsgottaeat.com. We are Girls Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash Hess, ashhess.com. Reina is reina.greenberg. Vibesonly.com for the Suck and Blow Gel and all the toys and all the things, the butt plug. And you can subscribe on YouTube, share this episode with a friend that may need it, and we will see you Thursday.

• 1:45:19Rayna Greenberg?

  Have a good week, guys.