Conan Vs. Edibles Part II

Conan explores how his reluctance to follow Sona down the path of hedonism is the result of a complex family history. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Conan O'Brien?

  Now Sona, clearly I'm a very important person to you.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:05Conan O'Brien?

  Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:08Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?

• 0:13Speaker 01

  A vase.

• 0:15Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  A jacket.

• 0:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, that jacket. Nice jacket.

• 0:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so now you have to do it, because you said you would.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  Aw man, I didn't know you were doing that.

• 0:25Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:37Conan O'Brien?

  Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more, all in one place so you can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at macy's.com/giftguide.

• 1:03Conan O'Brien?

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• 1:04Speaker 01

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• 1:05Conan O'Brien?

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• 1:11Speaker 01

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• 1:11Conan O'Brien?

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• 1:19Speaker 01

  The way you said that, thinly and thickly was uncomfortable.

• 1:22Conan O'Brien?

  It doesn't overwhelm the pistachio. They know what they're doing. I'm so glad they made the right choice.

• 1:28Conan O'Brien?

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• 1:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42Conan O'Brien?

  Look it up in history. It never has. Never has.

• 1:46Speaker 01

  Can you?

• 1:46Conan O'Brien?

  Check out wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more about Wonderful Pistachios chocolate products.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit TeamCoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started.

• 2:04Conan O'Brien?

  Hello, Conan O'Brien here. Normally, this would be a fan interaction of some kind. This is the drop. I call it the drop. Where, you know, I talk to somebody in the world. And those are fun. Today, we're going to do a little something different. And this is called fan service. I know my fans are anxiously awaiting word on my gummy situation.

• 2:29Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 2:30Conan O'Brien?

  Now, let's recap for anyone who didn't hear that and doesn't know the situation. Not long ago, Sona, you got me some gummies.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  Sure did.

• 2:38Conan O'Brien?

  And they're lovely looking. It's these canisters that are just gorgeous.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:44Conan O'Brien?

  And they're gummies. You got me all kinds of gummies for all kinds of occasions. Isn't that true?

• 2:50Speaker 01

  Yes, I did.

• 2:50Conan O'Brien?

  What were some of the gummies? Refresh my mind.

• 2:53Speaker 01

  Some of them were to, you know, liven you up, maybe put some pep in your step.

• 2:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  They're all, I'm going to say they're all Camino brand. They have not sent us anything yet.

• 3:03Conan O'Brien?

  It's probably in the mail.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  It better be.

• 3:05Conan O'Brien?

  Maybe.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  Because I just said it again.

• 3:07Conan O'Brien?

  Also, maybe they're on brand and they're taking their time. They can't get off the couch.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  Like, they're all stoners there.

• 3:14Conan O'Brien?

  Well, it's a fun little riff.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Well, if you say so.

• 3:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, pretty funny. Anyway.

• 3:19Speaker 01

  You have to say that your riff is funny.

• 3:20Conan O'Brien?

  They're all like, yeah, bro, we didn't send those. I forget many. Now, they're never sending you anything.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  I sent ones for sleep. They all different flavors, you know? I gave you a bunch, thinking that it could help you.

• 3:35Conan O'Brien?

  You gave me a bunch, and I was excited. I was looking at them all, and I thought, this could really change my life. Maybe, you know, a lifetime, a lifetime of being on it. Well, you can fill in the blanks here. Type A.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  The rules.

• 3:51Conan O'Brien?

  Follow the rules.

• 3:52Speaker 01

  L seven.

• 3:52Conan O'Brien?

  L seven, yeah.

• 3:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:54Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know what blah, but the but when you go blah.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  I gotta do make up all the rules. I can't do anything. It's not.

• 4:00Conan O'Brien?

  But what is this part? Blah, but the but the.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  But the blah, blah, blah. That's how I I don't. That's my impression of you. It's like, oh, gosh, guys, don't do that, guys, guys. It can fry your brain cells, everybody.

• 4:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so.

• 4:13Speaker 01

  You were just, you're a straight lace.

• 4:15Conan O'Brien?

  A straight lace. I think that's what I say. Yeah.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's not a bad thing.

• 4:19Conan O'Brien?

  Well, after what you just did, after that whole run, I think it's a terrible thing. It's not bad being a cyborg sent from the future to destroy humankind. Um, yeah, so I need to come clean. People are probably, we, we think fans are saying, oh, my God, Conan got these gummies. What happened? Because he promised he was gonna go off and do them. And this is the hilarious part. It's now been, I think, two weeks.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's been a minute.

• 4:45Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's been a minute. Well, I just said two weeks, so I don't know why.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  A minute is a cooler way to say it, I think.

• 4:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, well, that's factual. Um, blah, blah, blah. Two weeks is the appropriate time spent. All right, here's this, here's the update, and I think this is gonna have to be a work in progress. And I have turned taking gummies into a chore. I have turned taking gummies into a, I'll get to it. I just have to slot it in.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  I know.

• 5:15Conan O'Brien?

  That's what I've done with gummies. And apparently, the best gummies one can get.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  Camino.

• 5:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 5:21Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 5:22Conan O'Brien?

  Um, he man, they mentioned this, man.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Cheech and Chong worked there?

• 5:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, they do. Uh, so, um, uh, I'll come clean. I have nibbled on the corner of the sleep one.

• 5:38Conan O'Brien?

  And.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  Nibbled on the corner.

• 5:40Conan O'Brien?

  I wanna say less than half. First of all, they're delicious.

• 5:44Speaker 01

  They are.

• 5:45Conan O'Brien?

  They are really, they taste great, and I think paired with the right wine, fantastic.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 5:50Conan O'Brien?

  So anyway, I had, I wanna say maybe I had a quarter. I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm, that's a little quarter of one. We'll get to you, Eduardo. Eduardo, basically.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  Eduardo looks so disappointed.

• 6:03Conan O'Brien?

  Eduardo famously called me a little bitch on the podcast. Um, because he, uh, he heard me being squeamish about taking my gummy and.

• 6:18Conan O'Brien?

  So anyway, you're being proven right, Eduardo. Because what I've managed to do in two weeks is, I think on two occasions, nibbled on maybe a quarter of one. And it looks like a very tiny mouse got it one. That's what it looks like. I mean, the smallest mouse that ever... A mouse embryo lived long enough to nibble on the corner of a sleep gummy. And, yeah, I'm a redhead, so I'm very tolerant. So of course I've felt nothing so far. And that's nothing on Camino, big supporter. Hey, man, thanks, man. But, uh, you know, I haven't gone whole hog. Now, there's another one that gets you, uh...

• 6:58Speaker 01

  It's called exhilarate.

• 6:59Conan O'Brien?

  It's called like, no, there's one called chill.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, chill, chill.

• 7:02Conan O'Brien?

  I don't need to be exhilarated because, let's face it, I was born, um, kinda leaning into life.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  Up there.

• 7:11Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and I don't need that. I don't need to be sped up. Chill is the one that interested me. I have not tried one yet, and I'll look at it and I'll go, well, I'll try and get to that tonight. Uh, I don't know. Yeah, go ahead.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  Uh, when you, when you said that you're treating it like a chore, I did, I think we were on the phone on Friday, David was there, and I, I begged you to take them to try it over the weekend, and you were like, kinda groaned and...

• 7:33Conan O'Brien?

  Because Adam is like, we need this. The fans need to... Adam is always wielding his whip, and Adam is like, you need to get to this. This needs to be a segment, and the fans are waiting, and you're about to leave for your next travel show, and you'll be gone for two weeks. And I started going, okay. So I've got a guy on the phone nagging me, and he could have been someone from the IRS saying, do, you gotta file your return on the 15th, and I'm going, I'll get to it! I just haven't had it. I've gotta go find this shoebox of receipts. That is my attitude about taking a gummy. Where does this come from?

• 8:09Speaker 02

  Is this something like you want us to put in your calendar? Like, take, take gummy?

• 8:15Conan O'Brien?

  I think you have to.

• 8:16Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:16Speaker 01

  People be put it in my calendar.

• 8:21Conan O'Brien?

  So I'm a side, is that it? I'm like R2-D2?

• 8:23Speaker 01

  I think you're just, you're, you're overthinking it. Look, if you don't wanna do it, that's fine. We're not peer pressuring you. Are we peer pressuring you?

• 8:31Conan O'Brien?

  That's the dictionary definition of what you're doing.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah, we are.

• 8:34Conan O'Brien?

  You are.

• 8:34Speaker 01

  Eduardo called you a little bit.

• 8:36Conan O'Brien?

  You are my peers.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, Adam was on the phone.

• 8:39Conan O'Brien?

  And you're exerting enormous...

• 8:41Conan O'Brien?

  Eduardo called me a little bitch.

• 8:43Speaker 03

  That was just an observation. That wasn't peer pressure. That wasn't...

• 8:47Conan O'Brien?

  Just an observation. Between your little bitch, Adam calling me anxiously and saying, "We gotta get on this." Um, yeah, I guess I'm feeling a little bit of pressure. Uh, but I'm, I'm going to, I'm gonna do it. Uh, I'm just, if we could be real here for a second. I come from, you know, I, as you know, my dad, uh, a doctor. Um, and he, we, I mean, I just grew up. He was against us taking anything. I mean, you know, aspirin was like a big leap. Do you know what I mean? And so that's why, that's probably...

• 9:26Speaker 01

  I bet he was high all the time.

• 9:28Conan O'Brien?

  My dad?

• 9:28Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 9:29Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, he was. You know, my dad was, you know, my dad was Jamaican. He was Jamaican. He was in a ska group in the 50s. He was! Yeah, he's a ska, my dad was in a ska, a very good ska band in Jamaica. And then he emigrated to Boston in the late 50s. And, um, his stage name was O'Brien. And then he, uh, cut his hair and became a, you know, microbiologist at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  Well, I think your dad would have been more on board with you, you know, taking an edible than doing, like taking an antibiotic, for instance. So I think he would have been on board with a little bit.

• 10:16Conan O'Brien?

  He would have been okay with the correct antibiotic. My dad was a, you know, leading authority on antibiotic resistance. This is the stuff the fans really want to hear about.

• 10:24Speaker 01

  After his ska band.

• 10:26Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, yeah, well. His, I'm sorry, his ska band was Antibiotic Resistance. And it was a name that... Really was unpopular in Jamaica. And Jimmy Cliff was telling him, you gotta change that. And he was like, hey, man. You know, and it's a whole thing.

• 10:47Conan O'Brien?

  So anyway, um, he, uh, he would have been in favor. He was in favor of antibiotics.

• 10:53Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 10:54Conan O'Brien?

  My dad was not like an RFK Junior. He was in favor of the right, correct antibiotic. He just didn't like it when people took the shotgun approach to antibiotics, which is a major problem.

• 11:04Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 11:04Conan O'Brien?

  And has caused a lot of resistant bacteria and been a huge issue. And I bring that up in my dad's memory. Uh, and I think he was correct. Obviously, he was correct. But anyway, um, get back, getting back to the fun part. I think that, uh, no, my dad would have been like, what? You don't take something that, what? You wanna relax? That would have, that's what he would have said. You wanna relax? You wanna, you wanna not be on guard for a second? What are you talking about? So that's the culture I come from.

• 11:30Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 11:31Conan O'Brien?

  You know, we, we gotta go to Catholic church. We've gotta, we've gotta stay on it. And that's been my, that's been my way.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  Okay, but I think it's, it's only because you've expressed some interest in it. That's why we, we think it'll be nice for you to just do a little dabble.

• 11:48Conan O'Brien?

  Can I just say that?

• 11:49Speaker 01

  Again, no peer pressure.

• 11:50Conan O'Brien?

  I'm also, I'm also.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  But do it.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  But do it.

• 11:53Conan O'Brien?

  I'm also intrigued by the thought of an orgy. I mean, there's a lot of things that.

• 11:59Conan O'Brien?

  There's a lot of things that intrigue me, but I don't think I'll try it. Am I intrigued by the idea of there being nine naked bodies? All of us rolling around on a massive bed?

• 12:14Conan O'Brien?

  You know, and there's the ladies, but there's also the fellas and things that are flipping and flopping. You know, sure. Sure. Am I curious? Yeah. Have I made several appointments sometimes? Yes, I have.

• 12:38Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:41Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 12:55Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 12:56Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 13:09Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 13:28Speaker 01

  Hello!

• 13:29Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 14:03Conan O'Brien?

  Did you know that one in four Americans targeted by scams end up falling for them? You fell for one.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  I fell for a scam?

• 14:10Conan O'Brien?

  Now, you didn't lose too much money, but you did lose.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  I did lose and it was very inconvenient and now they put protections on my account like I'm, uh, dumb.

• 14:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. I don't know where they got that impression.

• 14:22Conan O'Brien?

  Criminals are now using AI to make scams look more realistic than ever. In 2025, AI fraud spiked 1,210% and cost Americans $893 million. That's incredible. Well, with AI, it can get so smart now.

• 14:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:39Conan O'Brien?

  Do you know what I mean?

• 14:39Speaker 01

  Maybe I should start scamming.

• 14:41Conan O'Brien?

  No, that's not the point.

• 14:42Speaker 01

  Oh, no, that's not the point of this.

• 14:43Conan O'Brien?

  That's not the point.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  It's so much money.

• 14:45Conan O'Brien?

  So quick, Sona can expose your information, putting you at risk of identity theft. Luckily, this is the point. Not that you should start scamming, but that everyone should get LifeLock.

• 14:54Speaker 01

  Right, right, right, right.

• 14:55Conan O'Brien?

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• 15:06Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:07Conan O'Brien?

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• 15:14Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:15Conan O'Brien?

  Join now and save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply.

• 15:26Conan O'Brien?

  Ever invest in something that seemed incredible at first, but didn't live up to the hype?

• 15:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, like all the time.

• 15:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. I did that with an all-potato restaurant.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 15:37Conan O'Brien?

  Marketers know that feeling. They optimize for the numbers that look great, like impressions, but then they don't see revenue. You know what I'm talking about, don't you, Sona?

• 15:46Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, all the time.

• 15:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. LinkedIn has a word for that: bull spend.

• 15:50Speaker 01

  Bull spend.

• 15:50Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Instead, you can get the highest ROAS of major ad networks with LinkedIn ads.

• 15:55Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:55Conan O'Brien?

  Cut the bull spend. Advertise on LinkedIn. Spend $250 and get a $250 credit. Go to linkedin.com/conan. Terms apply.

• 16:11Conan O'Brien?

  Earth can be a lot. There's gravity, there's mosquitoes.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:15Conan O'Brien?

  And a sun that will gulf us in about 5 billion years, give or take.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  Oh, good.

• 16:19Conan O'Brien?

  It is going to eventually incinerate us, the sun, but we've got 5 billion years.

• 16:22Speaker 01

  Okay, that's time.

• 16:23Conan O'Brien?

  Cosmically speaking, you're under break, so escape to Pluto TV.

• 16:26Speaker 01

  That's where this was going.

• 16:28Conan O'Brien?

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• 17:01Conan O'Brien?

  If you grow up Catholic, the way I did, there are all these things, the notion of it titillates you. I just said titillate. That, the saying titillate intrigued me for a long time, and I just said it for the first time.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 17:12Conan O'Brien?

  Um, things excite you, but you, oh, God, you know, it's forbidden fruit. You don't go there. So for me, that's the chill gummy. Now, I think I made a big step by eating a quarter of a sleep gummy.

• 17:25Speaker 03

  That is true.

• 17:25Conan O'Brien?

  And, um.

• 17:26Speaker 01

  And you felt nothing.

• 17:27Conan O'Brien?

  Well, uh, yeah, I have to say, and that's not on the gummy brand at all. That's on me. I'm 6'4".

• 17:35Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 17:36Conan O'Brien?

  You know, 193 pounds of pure beef. I'm also a redhead, so.

• 17:41Speaker 01

  Pure beef?

• 17:42Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I'm sorry. I am.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 17:43Conan O'Brien?

  Very muscular.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, uh-huh.

• 17:45Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, you, and people are surprised when they, you know.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  You, you are in great shape.

• 17:48Conan O'Brien?

  Thank you very much.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  And that's why I thought, you know, maybe half or even a full five milligram would be.

• 17:53Conan O'Brien?

  I'm not ready to do that yet.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  That's okay. Baby steps.

• 17:56Conan O'Brien?

  Also, I'm always operating heavy machinery. That's a regular part of my life. I bought a, I bought a forklift about a year ago. And one of my ways of relaxing is just driving it around the neighborhood. Um, and lifting things and storing them in a warehouse. So, you know, you can't.

• 18:13Speaker 01

  No.

• 18:13Conan O'Brien?

  You can't take medication or gummies before you operate the forklift.

• 18:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:17Conan O'Brien?

  But no, I'm gonna get to it. I promise. But I think it's, this is unintentional. It sounds like a bit, but it really isn't. You gave me gummies. I was excited and I've turned it into something I need. I need to carve out time for that, which is so hilarious.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  It is really funny, the way you're overthinking it.

• 18:36Speaker 03

  Well, can I just ask a question, which is?

• 18:38Conan O'Brien?

  You will. You're doing it right now. Let's go.

• 18:40Speaker 03

  Uh, which is, which is, you've had beer and wine and alcohol and it wears off. I mean, this is the same thing. It's not like you're gonna take a gummy and then forever you're gonna be.

• 18:51Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, let me, let me address that. Let me, let me address that issue. I know exactly what you're saying. And I think it's a fair point. Um, I really don't, uh, you know, I, I try not to drink a lot these days. Um, and, but yeah, I have been in an altered state and boy, am I funny. Very, I'm really.

• 19:08Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 19:09Conan O'Brien?

  Really funny when I've had a few, but, but, I mean, God, it's like whole next level. And if you think this was good, uh-huh, you know, we should do a thing where Alcona has a couple of glasses of wine and then people are. But you know what? It's gonna be like, you know, Oppenheimer's, Oppenheimer's seeing the big light. People can't handle it. They're gonna have to put on. No, seriously, we're gonna have to tell people who listen to the pod, Conan's gonna have a couple glasses of wine. Everyone needs to get into some kind of a shelter. You can watch through a little slit. You have to have glasses made of lead, because it's gonna be that kind of thing.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  It's fun.

• 19:40Conan O'Brien?

  And then Sirius is gonna call and go, you know, our whole system is down because of the energy you emitted with your comedic ray. I'll be like, oh, fuck, what are we gonna do now? So, any hoots? Um, be that as it may, uh, yeah, that is a true thing. I think, I grew up in that era where, I mean, I grew up in a dry house. My parents didn't drink, there was no liquor in the house, there was nothing. So, I took a brave step by having some red wine. You know, I didn't, so, that was my big excursion into the wilderness. Then, uh, but then you add gummies, marijuana, and it's, it's, what's that?

• 20:17Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 20:19Conan O'Brien?

  You add, I'm glad you're here. No one adds to a story like you. Um, I'm the ham and you just dropped one little clove into it. I, I come from that era where if some, I remember my uncle Gavin calling them like jazz cigarettes.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  Oh, geez.

• 20:37Conan O'Brien?

  My uncle Gavin came to Saturday Night Live and he was, he came to a taping of Saturday Night Live and afterwards he was amazed. He saw it live, he got to sit on the floor, right in front of where they do the monologue, and he saw G.E. Smith and the band play, and he came out afterwards. And I remember Bob Odenkirk and I were standing there and he went, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, that band, tell me that guitarist doesn't have a jazz cigarette jammed down his bootleg."

• 21:00Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 21:02Conan O'Brien?

  That's the era I come from.

• 21:04Speaker 01

  You're, you're going to the Netherlands. You're going to the, like, weed capital of the world.

• 21:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, but that doesn't hold any water anymore, because I think LA is the weed capital of the world. I mean, it's legal.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  Well, they have cafes there, it's a big part of, you know, why a lot of tourists go there. So, are you not gonna partake at all?

• 21:23Conan O'Brien?

  You know who's coming on this trip? Who never comes on trips?

• 21:26Speaker 01

  Who?

• 21:26Conan O'Brien?

  My wife. Liza's coming.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  Hey, Liza.

• 21:29Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, but she, you know, if I say, "Hey, let's hit a cafe and I'll have some wacky tobaccy." In my Boba tea, she's gonna say, "You will not." You know?

• 21:40Speaker 01

  Ah, I don't know. I think she'd be into it.

• 21:43Conan O'Brien?

  No, she's not a Bobby McFerrin, you know? She's not a...

• 21:46Speaker 01

  What?

• 21:47Conan O'Brien?

  She's not a "don't worry, be happy" person.

• 21:49Speaker 01

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 21:50Conan O'Brien?

  She's a "you better toe the line, see?"

• 21:53Speaker 01

  And I'm like, "Yes, dear. No, dear. Yes, dear. No, dear."

• 21:57Conan O'Brien?

  So, um, and trust me, that is the most spot-on impression of my wife.

• 22:01Speaker 01

  Absolutely not.

• 22:02Conan O'Brien?

  Now, you listen to me. You think you're going to relax and have fun? Not on my watch.

• 22:10Speaker 01

  Yes, dear. No, dear. Yes, dear. No, dear. How dare you?

• 22:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's so insane.

• 22:16Speaker 01

  I know. I won't take this Liza blasphemy.

• 22:18Conan O'Brien?

  She is the mother of my children, uh, she is an angel, and I just totally portrayed her.

• 22:24Speaker 01

  You did.

• 22:25Conan O'Brien?

  But maybe there's a grain of truth, who knows? I don't think she's gonna be the one saying, "Hey, you better go get fucked up." That's not Liza either. So, look, if it was me going on this trip, sans my wife, um, and Jeff Ross is there going, "Hey, bump, bump, bump." "Let's go. Let's get fucked up."

• 22:42Speaker 02

  Jeff's gonna have the best time on this trip.

• 22:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, Blay's too. Blay, you're gonna enjoy it.

• 22:47Speaker 03

  We're gonna have some fun.

• 22:48Conan O'Brien?

  Yep, well, okay, well, you get fucked up in most places we go.

• 22:52Speaker 01

  Oh, snappety-dappety.

• 22:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, even places where he shouldn't be. He manages to have a good time. That's not the point. The point is, I love to say that's not the point. The point is, even when no one's disagreeing with me.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  Nobody, yeah.

• 23:04Conan O'Brien?

  I love it. It's one of my favorite things. But that's not the point. The point is, wait, Conan, you're the only one talking. Who are you talking back to?

• 23:09Speaker 01

  This is why you need a dummy.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  You just proved it.

• 23:12Speaker 02

  This is what it's like inside your mind.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, this stops. This, you just sit. You'll just sit. It's okay. Look, on your own time, don't feel like you have to, but you should. Oh, no.

• 23:24Speaker 02

  Conan?

• 23:24Conan O'Brien?

  I did this on Kimmel. People loved it, where I froze my face.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's good for an audio medium.

• 23:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, everyone listening.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 23:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, he's, um, so I'll get to it. I'll get to the gummy. But you know, that whole thing of, hey, Amsterdam, I don't think that holds water anymore. Because literally, the streetlights here in Los Angeles are made of marijuana.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 23:52Conan O'Brien?

  You know, tightly packed woven marijuana.

• 23:55Speaker 01

  I partake from time to time. And I.

• 24:01Conan O'Brien?

  You, if you miss a day, come on, be honest.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  No, there are some days where I can't. Cause I have to mother.

• 24:09Conan O'Brien?

  From I partake from, hey, occasionally, there's a moment when I can't. Is very different from I partake from time to time.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  From time to time, I partake, but if I ever went to Amsterdam, I would definitely enjoy doing it there.

• 24:24Conan O'Brien?

  You take gummies the way a person with terrible diabetes takes insulin.

• 24:29Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 24:32Conan O'Brien?

  Constantly.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  What are you talking about?

• 24:34Conan O'Brien?

  You inject yourself with gummy. Liquid gummy.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  I'm not, I'm not a total, I don't wake and bake, I'm not a total potted, I have children I have to take care of.

• 24:44Conan O'Brien?

  That's true.

• 24:44Speaker 01

  But at the end of the day, after a long day, yeah, I'm chill, I could not.

• 24:48Conan O'Brien?

  Is it called gum it up? What's the cool way to say take a gummy?

• 24:51Speaker 01

  I don't know, but I don't think it's gum it up. I don't know what it is.

• 24:55Conan O'Brien?

  What do you ride the gum train? What do you do?

• 24:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, I ride the gum train. You know what? This, it'll help you with all of this. And I think.

• 25:02Conan O'Brien?

  Do we want to help me? That's the other thing. What if, I'm gonna propose something. What if I take the chill when I really like it, and I take a little more and I really like it, and suddenly I come in here, I don't have any of my psychic wounds, I don't have any of my old neural grooves, I don't have my weird spasms and my flights of fancy based on neurotic madness, and then suddenly, all of this ends. All of this ends. I mean, I'm gonna come in and I'm like, hi Sona, how are you?

• 25:32Speaker 01

  What but it?

• 25:33Conan O'Brien?

  Are you okay?

• 25:33Speaker 01

  Oh, are you talking to me with respect?

• 25:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Oh, I hate this. What are you talking about?

• 25:38Conan O'Brien?

  Just how are you? Are you okay?

• 25:39Speaker 01

  I'm doing really well, Conan. How are you?

• 25:41Conan O'Brien?

  How are you? I'm very well, thank you.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  Oh, good.

• 25:43Conan O'Brien?

  David, how are you?

• 25:43Speaker 02

  You're like, you're lowering your.

• 25:45Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, but how are you, David?

• 25:46Speaker 02

  Scared.

• 25:47Conan O'Brien?

  No, this is the new Conan. I just had some chill and um.

• 25:51Speaker 02

  Blaze raising his hand.

• 25:52Conan O'Brien?

  I was gonna talk about, well, I guess just the news today, I guess.

• 25:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 25:57Conan O'Brien?

  Lot going on in the news, so let's discuss that and, yes, what's up?

• 26:00Speaker 03

  That's never gonna happen. And I would, I would also say.

• 26:03Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, how are you?

• 26:04Speaker 03

  No.

• 26:04Conan O'Brien?

  And you know what? I welcome you on, Mike.

• 26:06Speaker 03

  I'm gonna tell you.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 26:08Speaker 03

  That's definitely not gonna happen. I, my favorite quote, I've said this before on the podcast, my favorite quote of yours you ever said was, we were on a flight going on an international trip. It's in the middle of the night and I was up reading and you come back to my seat. You're like, hey, how's it going? I'm like, hey, man, what's up? And you're like, uh, good. I'm like, uh, you should get some sleep. We have to shoot as soon as we get off the plane. You're like, I took an Ambien and it was like throwing a Tic Tac into the sun.

• 26:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 26:32Speaker 03

  And so let me tell you.

• 26:33Conan O'Brien?

  I burn through meds.

• 26:34Speaker 03

  The gummies are not gonna do anything.

• 26:36Conan O'Brien?

  When meds meet my system, they just.

• 26:39Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 26:39Conan O'Brien?

  You know, except propofol, which is why I get a, which is why I get a colonoscopy every week. I tell them, don't even put a camera back there.

• 26:51Conan O'Brien?

  I said, don't just sketch from memory. You don't need a camera. But, you know, I'm always in there. And sometimes I get a colonoscopy and then I sit out there and then I come back in and I put a mustache on and say, uh, Mr. Jones.

• 27:07Conan O'Brien?

  And then I put a mustache on my bare ass. So it looks like someone else's ass.

• 27:14Conan O'Brien?

  And they go like, I go like, that's, and this is my ass, Mr. Jones's ass. And then I have my ass go, hello, I've never had a colonoscopy. And they're like, why is your ass talking to us in a lower tone? And I say, just, uh, let's have the propofol and get going.

• 27:31Conan O'Brien?

  I have the most photographed colon of all time. Seriously. They're thinking of running them all together and having its own channel. A streaming, a streaming channel. 900 hours of all Conan.

• 27:47Conan O'Brien?

  I loves the probe. Loves the probe. I loves the probe. But, uh, yeah, so there will be another episode where I update you because I am going to do it. Oh, mark my words, I promise you, I shall take the chill gummy and I'll take a whole, uh, sleep gummy. And we'll see what happens. Okay. You know what I mean? No pressure. All right. Well, listen, I look forward to this and it will be the end of the podcast as we know it. Cause a relaxed Conan, not a fun Conan. That's all I'm gonna say. Who's the little bitch now, Eduardo?

• 28:23Speaker 04

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 28:40Speaker 04

  Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Dougherty and Lisa Berman. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down.

• 29:09Speaker 04

  Hey, it's me, Teddy Swims. You hear that? That's life. So go grab it. Grab your old friends, grab new friends, grab a White Claw. Grab flavor for everyone in your group. Grab music, laughter, and moments you'll never forget. You'll never regret it. Oh, hey, man. Grab new friends, grab old friends, grab life by the claw, White Claw. Please drink responsibly. White Claw Celta Works, Chicago, Illinois.