#2333 - Protect Our Parks 15

Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, and Ari Shaffir are stand-up comics, writers, and podcasters. Shane is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" with Matt McCusker and one half of the sketch comedy duo "Gilly and Keeves" with John McKeever. Season two of his Netflix series, "Tires," premieres on June 5.www.shanemgillis.comMark is the host of the "All Over the Road" podcast, and co-host of "Tuesdays with Stories" with Joe List and "We Might Be Drunk" with Sam Morril. Watch his stand-up special, "Soup to Nuts," on Netflix.www.marknormandcomedy.comAri is the host of the "You Be Trippin'" podcast. Watch his latest comedy special, "Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart," on Netflix. www.arishaffir.com Go to ExpressVPN.com/ROGAN to get 4 months free! Tap into exclusive PPVs with an ESPN+ subscription Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:12Joe Rogan?

  All right, we're rolling. We're rolling, don't do anything illegal. No. Come on, everybody's on the zim.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  I'm not, I think it's probably bad for you.

• 0:21Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:22Speaker 01

  It might in the end be bad for you.

• 0:24Joe Rogan?

  Curious.

• 0:24Speaker 01

  And there's also that part of me, I can't bring myself to actually not work out.

• 0:28Joe Rogan?

  You look ripped.

• 0:29Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 0:30Joe Rogan?

  You're allowed to work out. You don't want to talk about it, but look at those shoulders. Look at those shoulders, dog, those shoulders are coming in strong. Yeah.

• 0:38Speaker 01

  Don't hit me.

• 0:38Joe Rogan?

  You look noticeably thicker, like noticeably.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  That's what I said to my trainer, he was like, you want to lose weight? I said, no.

• 0:46Joe Rogan?

  Bigger. Want to get jacked.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  Fucking huge.

• 0:49Joe Rogan?

  Dude, you've been in this gym like super fucking consistent.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  If I'm in Austin, I come here.

• 0:53Joe Rogan?

  It's awesome.

• 0:54Speaker 01

  Every day, it's very nice.

• 0:55Joe Rogan?

  Every time you open that door and I see you pop out, I'm like, fuck, yeah.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  Always dead.

• 0:59Joe Rogan?

  Get after it, get after it. Do you worry about the buff comedy, though?

• 1:04Speaker 01

  I will never actually get in shape.

• 1:07Joe Rogan?

  Well, I very rarely wear a t-shirt on stage. That's true. Or anything tight, shirtless is my move. I just want to look like a fucking champ. Take your shirt off like Hulk Hogan. Oh, that's fun.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  Start comedy.

• 1:18Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, Greysher, when he started losing weight and he was getting jacked, I'm like, that's, you're taking away from your act there, fella. Exactly. You look like a football player now, like Bert was getting some big, thick ass shoulders.

• 1:29Speaker 01

  I don't do the, a lot of fat jokes.

• 1:31Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  If any.

• 1:32Speaker 02

  No, you don't really.

• 1:33Joe Rogan?

  You might make fun of yourself if it helps something.

• 1:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36Joe Rogan?

  It doesn't matter. Well, you're not fat enough, you're just, you're more like squishy.

• 1:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, just a fat guy, yeah.

• 1:41Joe Rogan?

  You're not, you're like a fat guy.

• 1:43Speaker 01

  So absurdly fat that we have to talk about it.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  Bert doesn't really do fat jokes either.

• 1:47Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:48Joe Rogan?

  No. Really?

• 1:50Speaker 02

  Not really.

• 1:51Joe Rogan?

  Sometimes you just gotta attack the elephant in the room just to get it out of the way, but then after that, fuck it. But if you're really good, you don't even need it. But if you have a joke that's funny, that's like, who fucking cares? That's the weirdest thing is comics like policing what should be talked about.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 2:07Joe Rogan?

  If someone comes up with the most amazing fart joke of all time, I'm gonna die laughing. You know, it's like, I don't do any, I don't have any, but it's like,

• 2:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:16Joe Rogan?

  On anything and everything, there's a take on anything and everything that's like, ah!

• 2:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:22Joe Rogan?

  You know, it's just gotta find where it is.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  Kind of my goal, is to come up with the best fart joke of all time.

• 2:27Joe Rogan?

  Hates dog?

• 2:28Speaker 01

  No, not yet.

• 2:28Joe Rogan?

  Come on, what's that?

• 2:30Speaker 01

  You're bad at Lucy's.

• 2:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, what's up with you?

• 2:33Speaker 01

  He's fired up, dude. He's game, dude.

• 2:35Speaker 03

  Pulled out three drugs, I've been here eight minutes.

• 2:38Joe Rogan?

  Shh, there's no drugs.

• 2:39Speaker 03

  No drugs, no drugs.

• 2:41Joe Rogan?

  It's just nicotine.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  Just Ozempic.

• 2:42Joe Rogan?

  Don't get the feds on us.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  Lucy Breakers.

• 2:45Speaker 01

  What's the hecklefish?

• 2:46Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's from, um, you ever see that YouTube show, The Y Files?

• 2:51Speaker 03

  No.

• 2:51Joe Rogan?

  It's a great fucking show. It's all about like fucking aliens and why you can't go into the Grand Canyon and you know, secret fucking temples and stuff like that. And AJ Gentile is the host and then this is a fish that sits in the fish tank next to him and talks shit to him.

• 3:07Speaker 04

  I will be a strict but fair lord of these lands and my fate will come to an end.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  We went to the drugs. That's an epitome right away. Can't say there's no drugs, we hold up a fucking stuffed animal. Guys, check this out. You put his nose on his forehead.

• 3:23Joe Rogan?

  Try to bite me. Well, the thing is like now everybody comes and they give me something for the table. That's like part of the fun.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:28Joe Rogan?

  I got this little Olmec head.

• 3:30Speaker 01

  That's sick.

• 3:31Joe Rogan?

  From Lou Caverns, pretty dope. I also got an Aztec death whistle, do not blow it.

• 3:36Speaker 01

  I blew it.

• 3:36Joe Rogan?

  The last time.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  It's Theo's.

• 3:38Joe Rogan?

  We, last time we had one of these and we blew it.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  You blew the death whistle on the party?

• 3:41Joe Rogan?

  Callan blew it on the podcast and the pandemic started a month later. I'm not kidding, fucking LA was locked down, everything had, people were like connecting it to the death whistle.

• 3:50Speaker 03

  It killed Bob Saget.

• 3:51Joe Rogan?

  It was a conspiracy theory. Yeah, oh, poor Bob.

• 3:55Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 3:56Joe Rogan?

  You got me.

• 3:56Speaker 03

  Ah, the death battle.

• 3:57Joe Rogan?

  Cause I think, that one drives me nuts.

• 4:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:02Speaker 02

  Pop Saget does?

• 4:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, cause it's the same thing that happened to Heather McDonald. Blacked out, fell, smashed her head, died. She lived, cause she was on stage and luckily they got medical help.

• 4:12Speaker 02

  Rug, wrong enough stage also.

• 4:13Joe Rogan?

  It was fake?

• 4:14Speaker 02

  No, rug.

• 4:15Joe Rogan?

  Oh, no, she was, it was hardwood.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  I don't think there was a rug.

• 4:17Joe Rogan?

  Hardwood.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  Bro, her head bounced.

• 4:19Speaker 02

  What stage was it?

• 4:19Joe Rogan?

  I've seen that video thirty times. It's hardwood.

• 4:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 4:22Joe Rogan?

  Her head bounces. It's very terrifying. Cause that's how people die in street fights.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:26Joe Rogan?

  That's the big reason why people die in street fights. They get knocked down, they hit their head. It's not from getting punched to death, most of the time.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  Right.

• 4:34Joe Rogan?

  Most of the time it's from falling, hitting your head.

• 4:36Speaker 03

  Remember the knockout game?

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Knockout game.

• 4:38Joe Rogan?

  Bro, that is so scary. That is so scary.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  Filming crimes is a very, no, that's a hard stage.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  We're already watching it again.

• 4:45Joe Rogan?

  That stage is hard as fuck. Here she goes.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Get the Hitler speed.

• 4:48Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  It kinda gets enveloped into the stage.

• 4:52Joe Rogan?

  Fractured her skull.

• 4:52Speaker 03

  That was crazy.

• 4:53Speaker 02

  Really?

• 4:54Joe Rogan?

  Fractured her skull, yeah.

• 4:55Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 4:56Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Scary shit.

• 4:58Speaker 03

  Yikes.

• 4:59Joe Rogan?

  Cause you could bleed, you bleed in the brain and you could, you know.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  Didn't need the whole thing, that's perfect.

• 5:03Joe Rogan?

  Possibility you'll never be the same again.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  Question is, did it kill? Did it get a laugh?

• 5:07Joe Rogan?

  It's the biggest laugh of all time.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  Alright, well, might have been worth it.

• 5:11Speaker 01

  Till people found out.

• 5:11Joe Rogan?

  It was real. Yeah, they thought she was just being hilarious.

• 5:15Speaker 03

  Oh, wow. Yikes.

• 5:16Joe Rogan?

  Which is the way you would do it.

• 5:17Speaker 02

  You ever get an accidental joke where you say something and everyone laughs, you're like, oh, I can see the double meaning on that. Okay, I'll pretend I meant that.

• 5:23Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, oh yeah, definitely. Well, that's the difference between like writing it and saying it, right? You write it and you're like, I think I know how to go with this. And then you go on stage and say it and you're like, oh, that's the funny part.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:34Joe Rogan?

  This is, this is fucking ridiculous. The fact that this exists is ridiculous.

• 5:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm always embarrassed if I wrote something and then say it and it's not even close.

• 5:40Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  What the fuck was I thinking?

• 5:43Speaker 03

  It's crazy how much that happens.

• 5:44Joe Rogan?

  I always think of it as like a scaffolding. I'm like, I don't know what's good until I get up there.

• 5:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, it's funny how when you're in your apartment, you're killing. You're like, man, this is good stuff. And then when you get up there, you can like feel, this won't work.

• 5:56Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, right when you're on stage, yeah.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  I don't know why I'm saying this.

• 5:59Speaker 03

  But when you have people in front of you, you're like, oh, this is not gonna hit.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  Oh my god, it's the best. And then you went into it, was so prepared, and then they're just looking at you like, I don't get it.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  You go into it like, I wrote a new bit today, this thing's gonna fucking kill.

• 6:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:12Speaker 02

  Two words into it, you go.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  But that's why comedy is great, cuz you can never really crack it. You can get better at it, but you can never really go, "This is gonna work."

• 6:21Joe Rogan?

  It's also like a truly collaborative thing. You have to have an audience. Yeah. It's like Gary Clark Jr. could write a fucking amazing album by himself in his like, private music studio. And nobody has to hear it until you listen to it the first time. You're like, "God damn." Yeah. Like Oliver Anthony's new album. I haven't heard it. Bro.

• 6:40Speaker 03

  Really?

• 6:40Joe Rogan?

  Bro, there's a song. We're gonna play this song. Leak it? You can't play it on the air, so we'll play it.

• 6:47Speaker 03

  Same one you already sent me?

• 6:47Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:48Speaker 03

  I should have it already.

• 6:48Joe Rogan?

  We'll play it and then we'll react to it. Okay, I'll tell you guys, cut all this out. I'll tell you guys what happened. So Oliver Anthony has no money, right? He's poor, he's selling farm equipment. He puts his song on YouTube. He's a fucking superstar, right? He doesn't know what to do. He freaks out. He asks me for advice. I call him on the phone. We have a conversation for like a fucking hour where I go, "Don't sign anything with anybody." And he's like, "They're telling me I have to strike while the iron's hot." I go, "Bullshit, they're trying to steal money from you." I go, "You're independent, you're already there. You already made it." I know if you wrote that song. Yeah. I'm like, "If you wrote that song, you could write a dozen of those fucking songs." You don't need anybody. They're just, he's like, "They're offering me seven million dollars." I go, "No, no, no, they're offering to steal money from you for the rest of your life. That's what they're doing."

• 7:32Joe Rogan?

  I go, "You don't need them, you have talent." So, cut to, he starts making millions of dollars doing arenas. The wife divorces him. She wants everything. She wants everything. She wants more than half. She wants all the money that he's gonna be making in the future cuz she was with him when he was broke. So she, it's fucking crazy. He's just tortured. What a fucking idiot. Wants to die. Wants to die. And he writes this song.

• 7:57Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 7:58Joe Rogan?

  Wait, this song you're about to play? Yes. He writes this song. You got it, Jamie? This episode is presented by Searchlight Pictures Wild Horse 9. Shortly before Chile's 1973 coup, two CIA agents, played by John Malkovich and Sam Rockwell, find their mission on Easter Island spiraling into a web of conspiracies, unexpected alliances, and chaos. Wild Horse 9, only in theaters. Friday, get tickets now. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. Hook up a better speaker to your TV and your home theater experience is immediately 10 times better. Or add a little extra treat to your dog's food. They get so happy at dinnertime.

• 8:41Joe Rogan?

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• 9:26Joe Rogan?

  That's ziprecruiter.com/rogan. ZipRecruiter, meet your match on ZipRecruiter. This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. Scams have gotten smarter because criminals use AI to flood you with fake texts, emails, and phone calls that are designed to be more convincing than ever. One wrong click could put your personal information and your identity at risk, so protect yourself with LifeLock. LifeLock helps detect and alert you to threats, and if your identity is stolen, LifeLock will step in to fix it, guaranteed or your money back. Dedicated US-based identity restoration specialists will work with you until your

• 10:06Joe Rogan?

  identity is restored, backed by the million-dollar protection package with up to $3 million in coverage for eligible losses and expenses. Visit lifelock.com and save up to 30% your first year with the promo code JRE. That's promo code JRE, or go to lifelock.com/JRE for 30% off. Terms apply. Bro. By the time this episode comes out, that song will be out. Okay. Really?

• 10:36Speaker 01

  Well, he just wrote the...

• 10:38Joe Rogan?

  Yo.

• 10:38Speaker 01

  He just ethered his wife.

• 10:40Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 10:41Speaker 01

  That was Nas to Jay-Z.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  What a diss track.

• 10:45Joe Rogan?

  Bro, that's the craziest diss track of all time.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  It's coming out tomorrow, the next day?

• 10:48Joe Rogan?

  It's coming out tomorrow.

• 10:50Speaker 02

  The song is?

• 10:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, so the day this comes out, that album.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  The math don't seem right.

• 10:54Speaker 01

  It's so funny. Every divorced dude on earth is gonna be just fucking.

• 10:57Joe Rogan?

  The judge says fifty fifty, but the math don't seem right to a scorned woman. Woo wee!

• 11:03Speaker 02

  That's what he said, it doesn't seem right for her.

• 11:05Joe Rogan?

  For her.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  That she wants more than that.

• 11:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 11:07Speaker 03

  She's lucky he got out with the song, because he would have killed her.

• 11:11Joe Rogan?

  Bro.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, if he didn't have a guitar, that's a strangling.

• 11:15Joe Rogan?

  That guy doesn't need a record deal. That guy don't need nobody. He don't need, he don't need nobody.

• 11:22Speaker 02

  He's Lisa Loeb, remember Lisa Loeb?

• 11:23Joe Rogan?

  Did she do everything?

• 11:24Speaker 02

  She had a top five hit on a subway.

• 11:27Joe Rogan?

  Whoa.

• 11:27Speaker 02

  And then, and then every, every, every like label was like, we want you. And she's like, well, hold on now, I think I got the upper hand.

• 11:34Joe Rogan?

  Oh, very clever. Yeah, there's a bunch of people that done that now, that just completely bypass the system. Lobotomy? What happened there? Lisa Loeb? That's a stretch. That's a stretch.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  You see him?

• 11:45Speaker 01

  Just trying to get Norman going.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  Here Loeb.

• 11:47Joe Rogan?

  Some of those ladies, they kind of vanish, you know, like Lisa Loeb was huge.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  She was.

• 11:52Joe Rogan?

  She was the chick with the glasses, right?

• 11:54Speaker 03

  She was cute, cute little hip.

• 11:55Joe Rogan?

  I did something with her on VH1 once.

• 11:58Speaker 03

  Ooh!

• 11:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, some talk show thing. She was very nice.

• 12:02Speaker 03

  Nice lady.

• 12:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  What time is it? Before three, right?

• 12:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Why, you want coffee?

• 12:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:06Joe Rogan?

  At 3pm, you cut it off?

• 12:08Speaker 02

  I just start to slow down.

• 12:09Joe Rogan?

  Look at you, Mr. Regimented.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  I won't sleep. Anyway, let's talk more about Lisa Loeb's pussy.

• 12:13Joe Rogan?

  You have a hard time sleeping?

• 12:14Speaker 02

  If I have too much of this.

• 12:15Speaker 03

  Same. I'm on the pills.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  You're on what pills?

• 12:18Speaker 03

  Sleeping pills.

• 12:19Joe Rogan?

  Oh no, which ones?

• 12:20Speaker 02

  You gotta get on boner pills, that way better.

• 12:21Speaker 03

  I'm taking that anti schizophrenia thing.

• 12:24Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 12:25Speaker 03

  It's the only, Ceraquil.

• 12:26Speaker 01

  I've taken that shit.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  Give that a good.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  That shit sucks.

• 12:28Speaker 02

  Wait, that's the thing that works for me?

• 12:30Speaker 01

  Fucking Stanhope gave you that.

• 12:31Joe Rogan?

  That makes you go to sleep?

• 12:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  It's anti psyched, yeah, it makes you sleep.

• 12:33Speaker 02

  Wait, isn't that ways?

• 12:34Speaker 03

  Oh yeah.

• 12:35Joe Rogan?

  Have you tried deadlifts? Just work out real hard so you're exhausted.

• 12:40Speaker 02

  You work out. Wait, isn't that where Brody was on Seracil?

• 12:42Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  Isn't that where he got off?

• 12:44Speaker 01

  Seracil is serious.

• 12:45Speaker 02

  I think that's where he got off.

• 12:46Joe Rogan?

  I think it is. I think he got off on his own and that's when he went off the rails.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  Alright, there you go.

• 12:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that got real weird.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  He's a deadlift. When I got back.

• 12:54Joe Rogan?

  Oh, you son of a bitch.

• 12:57Speaker 02

  Friend.

• 13:01Speaker 01

  When I got back from Stanhope's, when I was out there, I had some Seracil in the wrapper in my pocket. And I got back to my parents' house. It was during COVID. My mom was doing laundry.

• 13:12Joe Rogan?

  Oh, no.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  And was like, what the fuck is Seracil? And I was like, I don't know. Somebody gave it to me and I took it. Yeah. Did it help you sleep? Yeah, fucked me up for like three days. Really? I'd take it every night.

• 13:24Joe Rogan?

  Maybe I had a stronger. You're supposed to take somebody else's, especially not Stanhope's.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  Stanhope's dosage is not your dosage for anything.

• 13:31Joe Rogan?

  For anything.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, I woke up on Wednesday.

• 13:33Joe Rogan?

  You could go beer to beer with them for sure, but anything else.

• 13:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:36Joe Rogan?

  Anything else, stay away. Stanhope has a tolerance.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  If you need it. He does.

• 13:40Joe Rogan?

  He says just don't go to the, just don't go to the doctor. Just in case you don't want to know.

• 13:46Speaker 02

  So funny when somebody gives you drugs and you're like, it's, it's strong. Like, to who? Who are we talking about now?

• 13:51Joe Rogan?

  Stanhope has various hernias all over his stomach. He could just lay back and like pop his stomach.

• 13:57Speaker 01

  Oh, no. Really?

• 13:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he's a mess. He's the best.

• 14:01Speaker 02

  He's the best.

• 14:01Joe Rogan?

  He's riding it till the wheels fall off.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  He is. Hell, yeah.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  He's a mess. He's the best. He's riding till the wheels fall off. Give that to Oliver Anthony and say, run with it.

• 14:08Joe Rogan?

  Run with it, yeah. An ode to Stanhope.

• 14:13Joe Rogan?

  I check out his Instagram somewhere. He's wearing fucking flea market clothes.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 14:17Joe Rogan?

  In some other country, doing stand up.

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, he did, uh, he did. We're in Ukraine.

• 14:23Joe Rogan?

  Fuck out of there.

• 14:23Speaker 01

  Fucking hell it on.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  We're in the smoking room at a bar in Luton. I think I'll film a special here.

• 14:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, exactly. There's 30 people. Let's go.

• 14:32Speaker 03

  He's a maniac. He did my podcast recently and he, you know, it's like at 1pm, he gets hammered and then he's like, what are we doing? And we're like, we gotta do another one. And he was like, what? I thought we were hanging out all day. And he was pissed.

• 14:46Speaker 02

  I get it.

• 14:46Joe Rogan?

  Well, you gotta set the terms for your agreement in advance.

• 14:49Speaker 03

  I guess. Hey, you do a pod, you'd leave after.

• 14:51Joe Rogan?

  You can't just assume we're gonna get hammered and hang out all day unless we talk about it.

• 14:54Speaker 03

  Right.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  I would say though, if I get day drunk with people, I, I assume.

• 14:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's a good plan. Where are you going?

• 15:01Speaker 02

  After, yeah.

• 15:02Joe Rogan?

  If we get together and have barbecue at Terry Black's at 1 o'clock and like, let's fucking get blasted.

• 15:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:07Joe Rogan?

  It's over. The day's over. Yeah. You're hanging out all day.

• 15:10Speaker 02

  You're, yeah, you're done for three days.

• 15:12Joe Rogan?

  I rarely get those days. I rarely get that.

• 15:15Speaker 03

  Those days were fun back in the, when you had all the time in the world. You had nothing to do, no pod.

• 15:20Joe Rogan?

  My family went away for a week.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  Covid was the best. Noon, you're with DeRosa, you call Big Jay, like, it's 12:02, you wanna drink? Like, I guess.

• 15:27Joe Rogan?

  That was the good thing about Covid, right? The people who are risk takers, you get together with them.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. You go outside too and just drink out there.

• 15:33Joe Rogan?

  How long did you guys go without being around anybody, though?

• 15:36Speaker 03

  Oh, man. As long as I could.

• 15:37Speaker 02

  People the whole time.

• 15:38Joe Rogan?

  The whole time?

• 15:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:39Joe Rogan?

  You never like took a week off of, I mean, other than like family and like real close friends?

• 15:44Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, I did do that.

• 15:46Joe Rogan?

  It was, that's like.

• 15:47Speaker 02

  Three, four weeks, actually.

• 15:48Joe Rogan?

  Bro, that's so bad for your brain.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  I went, I went three months.

• 15:51Joe Rogan?

  How many guys never came back?

• 15:53Speaker 03

  A lot of people.

• 15:54Speaker 02

  A lot of people never came back. Some people are starting to come back.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:57Speaker 02

  I don't wanna name them, but.

• 15:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

• 15:59Speaker 02

  You go, oh shit.

• 16:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  It's funny to see them the first week and you know, that's where I was when I got, I was like, hey, too close, too close. Louis immediately go, I'm like, hey, I'm still trying to, and he just licks your face.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  But like you see people like, hi, I'm like, oh, you just got back?

• 16:15Speaker 03

  It's like a week.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  You gotta get back now, though.

• 16:16Joe Rogan?

  Burr would only do elbow touches for a while.

• 16:19Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:21Joe Rogan?

  Meet outside and do elbow touches, like. Get the fuck out of here. Everybody, I was hugging everybody, fuck it.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  Those were dark days. I remember nothing was gonna end.

• 16:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:31Joe Rogan?

  I know, man. But there's a lot of good came out of it.

• 16:34Speaker 02

  It was my favorite.

• 16:34Joe Rogan?

  Forced me to move here.

• 16:36Speaker 02

  It was my favorite too.

• 16:37Speaker 03

  Really?

• 16:37Speaker 02

  What a fun time.

• 16:38Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 16:39Speaker 02

  You had time to think. Time to hang out with your friends.

• 16:41Speaker 01

  Also, I had just gotten cancelled.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:45Speaker 01

  I just went to a beach house.

• 16:47Speaker 02

  Same, same, actually.

• 16:49Speaker 01

  It was twenty dollars on Airbnb.

• 16:50Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  You went to North Carolina, right?

• 16:53Speaker 03

  Didn't you have time to like just sit in it, though? Like, you're just thinking about it?

• 16:56Speaker 01

  Drinking at the beach.

• 16:57Speaker 03

  Oh, alright.

• 16:57Speaker 02

  What advice did I give you when you went to North Carolina? It was something normal.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Don't say goo.

• 17:02Speaker 02

  Make a fire on the beach.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  Stop saying it.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  That was my advice. Don't say it.

• 17:13Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  Uh, no.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  It was making fire.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  It was Hill and Ed, and it was making fire. We made fires every night.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  I remember you called me like, hey, you were right.

• 17:19Speaker 01

  Me, O'Connor, Beezer, Kylo.

• 17:22Speaker 03

  Wow, what a trash crew.

• 17:23Speaker 01

  It's the trashies, yeah.

• 17:24Speaker 03

  That's fun.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  A crew of pigs.

• 17:27Speaker 03

  A thing of pigs.

• 17:32Joe Rogan?

  We've been cigar.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  Let's go.

• 17:34Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Good call.

• 17:36Joe Rogan?

  You guys want a big one or a little one?

• 17:37Speaker 02

  I'll take a littleie.

• 17:38Joe Rogan?

  You want a little, like a this one, or like a this one?

• 17:40Speaker 03

  I'll do a little guy.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  Is that a short story?

• 17:42Joe Rogan?

  These are all given to me by Jose Andres.

• 17:44Speaker 02

  Is that a short, short story?

• 17:46Joe Rogan?

  Uh, you know, maybe you know.

• 17:48Speaker 02

  I know.

• 17:49Speaker 03

  Cigari Shafir.

• 17:50Joe Rogan?

  A short story, that's what they're going. You want a short one?

• 17:52Speaker 02

  Let me see.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  I'm actually alright, I don't like any of them, but...

• 17:55Speaker 02

  Let me see all of them.

• 17:56Speaker 03

  You don't know what the fuck that is.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  Oh, this is the one. It's OpenX. This is the high-end version of this brand.

• 18:03Joe Rogan?

  They're all very, they're super legit. What do you want, Norman?

• 18:05Speaker 02

  The short stories are great, though.

• 18:06Speaker 03

  I'll take a nice, light one.

• 18:07Speaker 02

  You won't appreciate it.

• 18:08Joe Rogan?

  That's a...

• 18:09Speaker 03

  That might be too heavy for me.

• 18:10Speaker 02

  Do a short story. You'll like it.

• 18:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're talking, give me a little chode.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  That's not a chode, that thing's fine.

• 18:16Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 18:18Joe Rogan?

  Well, if you only want like a little bit, like Ron White has those little tiny ones.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:22Joe Rogan?

  Tiny cigars.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  Darius has those all the time.

• 18:25Joe Rogan?

  But he inhales those motherfuckers.

• 18:26Speaker 02

  He does.

• 18:27Joe Rogan?

  He inhales them like he does a cigarette. I'm like, that is so bad for you. Those are so bad for you. You're going, you're, you're taking straight cigar smoking, your lungs. There you go.

• 18:40Speaker 02

  You know how to do it. That side.

• 18:41Joe Rogan?

  Teeth. Bro, how good is that song? That song freaks me out. Very good.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  Good soulful song.

• 18:45Joe Rogan?

  It feels like a throwback. You can't fake that. You can't fake that.

• 18:48Speaker 02

  I've never heard a guy make a song about a, you know, divorce.

• 18:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 18:54Speaker 02

  It's pretty funny.

• 18:54Joe Rogan?

  He's going through it, dog.

• 18:56Speaker 02

  It's like, it's like, yeah, rock's like, uh, you'll, you'll be mad if you make thirty grand, if you have to give up half. Half, half at ten million is nothing, half at thirty grand.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  Fucking crazy song.

• 19:07Joe Rogan?

  Great tune.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  It reminds me of Mike Lawrence's joke on Ralphie May during roast battle. He goes, your wife's divorcing you, which is crazy to split up now and get half where you can just wait six months and get all of it.

• 19:18Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that bro killed him. That's crazy. That's crazy.

• 19:24Speaker 02

  Hey Jamie, do we have any beers in here?

• 19:26Joe Rogan?

  Uh, there's a whole cooler of them right there, dog. Could you imagine?

• 19:29Speaker 02

  Oh, hello.

• 19:31Joe Rogan?

  Oh, hello. Actually giving her that advice? Imagine like if you're the lawyer.

• 19:36Speaker 02

  Hey, just wait a little bit.

• 19:37Joe Rogan?

  If you're the lawyer, you're like, you know, take him out to eat.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, just wait him out.

• 19:41Joe Rogan?

  Take him to fucking Denny's. Oh, sorry. Same thing, two in one. Keep him going. Yeah. Keep that party rolling. Did you ever work with Panette? Yes, I did. He is a funny fat guy. I saw Panette when I was like an open mic'er. He was like a few years ahead of me. I saw him murder one night.

• 19:57Speaker 02

  He's such a crusher.

• 19:58Joe Rogan?

  He had this bit about going to a Chinese food, all you can eat buffet, and they're like, no, you get out.

• 20:04Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. I saw it on TV.

• 20:07Joe Rogan?

  Bro, he did that at Nick's Comedy Stop one night, packed house.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  You got out.

• 20:10Joe Rogan?

  Brought the fucking house down. And he had that Boston old school rapid fire punchline style. And he was a big guy. And he was, he was fucking huge at one point in time, but the physical stuff, the, the body being that big, just sabotaged.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  When I moved to, uh, LA, it wasn't the first times I realized how phony Hollywood is. He came into the improv and all the agents and managers and the suckups like, John, you look amazing. He's like a four hundred and eighty pound guy. And I'm like, what?

• 20:39Joe Rogan?

  We did it to Shane twenty minutes ago. No, no, no.

• 20:43Speaker 01

  And now everyone was very mean.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  One of the guys outside was like, "You look good. Well, better." That's like, I believe you now. He wasn't joking. He was totally genuine.

• 20:55Joe Rogan?

  Being honest with you.

• 20:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. Pretty funny. Well, better. It's such a great...

• 21:01Joe Rogan?

  With how much of privacy is being invaded online, VPNs are no longer just a nice thing to have. It's a necessity. Some people think, "I don't need a VPN because I have nothing to hide." But that's exactly what data brokers want you to think, because their profits depend on you having nothing to hide. What you do online is your business, and if you want to keep it your business, you need ExpressVPN. With ExpressVPN, 100% of your online activity travels through secure encrypted servers. It hides your IP address, so no one can use it to track and sell your online activity, and your privacy is restored. ExpressVPN is also a great tool to secure your sensitive information from hackers. If you're using public wifi, like at a hotel, airport, or coffee shop,

• 21:46Joe Rogan?

  anyone can hijack your connection and access your most sensitive information. With ExpressVPN, you know that your passwords and banking info are safe and secure. ExpressVPN is the number one ranked VPN by the experts at CNET and The Verge. And right now, you can get an amazing deal. They're offering four extra months free if you go to expressvpn.com/rogan or tap the banner. And if you're watching on YouTube, you can get your four free months by scanning the QR code on screen or clicking the link in the description. Yeah, imagine telling a 455-pound guy who looks great.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  You're looking fucking good, dude.

• 22:24Joe Rogan?

  You look great. They'll tell that to you. You look great.

• 22:26Speaker 01

  Good first step.

• 22:27Joe Rogan?

  You'd never look better. You look 20 years younger.

• 22:29Speaker 03

  Oh, look how fat. Man.

• 22:34Joe Rogan?

  Unfortunately.

• 22:35Speaker 03

  He's already funny. He just looks funny.

• 22:36Joe Rogan?

  He was so funny. He was so good.

• 22:38Speaker 01

  If Ozempic was earlier.

• 22:40Joe Rogan?

  Such a good comic.

• 22:40Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:41Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but then you have a big head.

• 22:43Speaker 02

  He'd be alive.

• 22:45Joe Rogan?

  The thing, alive with a big head's pretty funny too. That's true. Cause when you have a big fat guy's body, your head grows.

• 22:52Speaker 02

  Your skull grows?

• 22:53Joe Rogan?

  Physically. Wait, what? Yeah, yeah. If you ever watch a big, giant fat guy, when they lose a lot of weight, their head looks way too big for their body. Cause they were 500 pounds. They had a head of a 500 pound man for 20 years. And then all of a sudden, you know, you get a belly band and now you weigh a buck 50. You got 500 pound dude's head.

• 23:12Speaker 02

  Go from a fighting style of this to...

• 23:15Joe Rogan?

  Also, all that chewing, all these muscles. Oh, yeah. Your jaw is one of the weirdest things. That's cardio. That's what mewing is all about, when people change their jawline. Your jaw moves. Your jaw can get larger. You can actually change your jawline from exercise. Isn't it crazy? You can't alter your dick. You gain weight, nothing happens. You can't work out your dick. We work out our dick every night. Nothing to your dick. Nothing. Put a man on the moon.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  And we can't.

• 23:41Joe Rogan?

  You can't fix the dick. Can't fix the dick. If you got a micro penis, oh, by the way, that female boxer, that female boxer that's, that everybody's saying was a woman? That's a man. Come on. Fact, now proven.

• 23:52Speaker 02

  Wait, I thought you said...

• 23:53Joe Rogan?

  They got a sex result.

• 23:54Speaker 02

  It was a, the Iranian one?

• 23:56Joe Rogan?

  The Iranian one that won the Olympic gold medalist is a man. So she's funny. They released a medical report.

• 24:04Speaker 02

  Who's that?

• 24:05Joe Rogan?

  The IOC, well, the IOC is the one that allowed her to compete in the Olympics, but one of these amateur boxing organizations apparently did a test.

• 24:13Speaker 02

  I thought it was one of those where it's like, you guys are wrong about this one. It's not a trans, it's actually just some...

• 24:16Joe Rogan?

  It's a biological male. Yeah, that went through puberty, the whole deal. Crazy.

• 24:22Speaker 01

  Teeing off on bitches in Paris.

• 24:23Joe Rogan?

  WAP, WAP. That's so crazy.

• 24:27Speaker 02

  We should have that as an Olympic sport. Beating bitches.

• 24:30Joe Rogan?

  But, I think this person has like...

• 24:32Speaker 01

  Line them up.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  I'll tell you what, Iran, Iran would...

• 24:34Joe Rogan?

  Iran would crush on that. Oh, yeah.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  No, no, you gotta uppercuts. It's like, they have all the technique down from years.

• 24:42Joe Rogan?

  You know, it's really dark.

• 24:43Speaker 02

  First you grab the arm, you bend.

• 24:45Speaker 01

  You say, "Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. I told you not to bring that up in front of my fucking friends."

• 24:50Joe Rogan?

  Did I see you driving?

• 24:52Speaker 02

  I told you not to bring that up. It's such a good, like, help me out here. Give me a good pitch.

• 24:56Joe Rogan?

  You see Greta Thunberg's on her way there right now. She's gonna fix it.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  What is it?

• 25:01Joe Rogan?

  Thunberg's on her way to Iran. She's gonna fix Gaza.

• 25:03Speaker 02

  Oh, she's on a sailboat.

• 25:04Joe Rogan?

  She's taking a sailboat to Gaza.

• 25:04Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 25:05Speaker 02

  Three years fucking later. Who is?

• 25:07Joe Rogan?

  I can't wait for them to meet her. Bro, that, that little, how you dare, how dare you, girl? Yeah. How dare you? You know, the climate change girl? You know, the little autistic girl?

• 25:16Speaker 02

  She's in a boat, I don't know who cares.

• 25:16Joe Rogan?

  Well, now she's free Palestine. She's singing things off her phone. Now she's at the front of a boat, like George Washington, making its way to Gaza. Whatever the environment though.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  Really?

• 25:24Joe Rogan?

  Bro, it's like, there she is. Is the environment done? Leonardo DiCaprio.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  She's got a nice boat.

• 25:29Joe Rogan?

  From the river to the rising sea. Levels. She's gonna fix it.

• 25:32Speaker 02

  Not bad, dude.

• 25:33Joe Rogan?

  She's gonna break the Israeli naval blockade.

• 25:34Speaker 02

  I've worked on it. That shit got more.

• 25:36Joe Rogan?

  Bro, those IDF guys are gonna turn her into cat food.

• 25:42Joe Rogan?

  They will, they will light her up from the fucking shore. Before she's even close. They don't play no games.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  Everyone's gonna, both sides are gonna blow that boat.

• 25:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they don't play no games. Yeah.

• 25:52Speaker 02

  They're actually, maybe come together on who gets to blow it up. Maybe that can bridge the gap here.

• 25:56Speaker 01

  She could be sacrificing herself for all of us.

• 25:59Joe Rogan?

  Well, she could be just the best person ever. Nothing greener than killing yourself. She could be someone that they take advantage of and use at the front of the line for every cause.

• 26:08Speaker 01

  It's one of those.

• 26:08Joe Rogan?

  She's a young kid, man. It's so crazy to take a young kid and like, put them as the-

• 26:12Speaker 02

  Alter their lives? This is gonna be your life now, forever.

• 26:14Joe Rogan?

  You're the face of X, Y, and Z.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  This is, uh, this is, uh- Even if it's not up to her and it is obvious, not obviously, but it could be out of her hands. She probably has handlers and political shit, but it's like-

• 26:25Joe Rogan?

  Oh, for now.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  At least she's-

• 26:28Joe Rogan?

  She is trying, yeah, she's trying some. Yeah, gainfully employed.

• 26:31Speaker 02

  But this is when they got, uh, the South Park kids to fight against Harbuck's.

• 26:34Joe Rogan?

  What's Harbuck's?

• 26:35Speaker 02

  Harbuck's coming in, it's giving tweaks, yeah, it's overcoming tweaks. And they're like, make the kids do a story about it and they're like, ah, alright. And everyone's like, the children are upset. It's the easiest way to go to get your cause done. Let a kid be crying about Trump.

• 26:47Speaker 01

  A war though, like Israel, Palestine, and Russia, Ukraine really ended the fucking climate change.

• 26:53Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah. Ended everything.

• 26:54Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? It was like, there's World War 3's coming, it's like, we don't have time.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, none of the climate change people are like, these bombs are increasing the temperature.

• 27:01Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 27:01Speaker 01

  I think Greta Thunberg, actually, unless that was fake.

• 27:05Speaker 03

  It ended a lot of shit. Like, the Palestine, it was like, "Oh, we forgot about Ukraine, we forgot about BLM, we forgot about..."

• 27:11Speaker 02

  It ended everybody saying, "Dead babies are bad." They go, "Well, let me see where they're from first." It's crazy, however, but it's just not, this is all just terrible.

• 27:22Speaker 01

  It's really terrible.

• 27:23Speaker 03

  You can't kill them in Texas either.

• 27:25Speaker 01

  It's a weird time.

• 27:26Joe Rogan?

  Ha, I caught that one.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  Hey, thanks.

• 27:28Speaker 01

  I caught it too, I just stared right through it. Stared at the table, "God, I don't even think that's mine."

• 27:36Speaker 03

  It is crazy I can't watch porn here on my phone.

• 27:38Speaker 02

  That's a real fucking bummer.

• 27:40Joe Rogan?

  You just have to take a photo of your ID and send it to the government. What's the problem, Mark?

• 27:44Speaker 03

  What am I, a migrant?

• 27:45Joe Rogan?

  We want to know how into feet you really are.

• 27:47Speaker 02

  Why are some of these states doing that? What do we do with that?

• 27:50Speaker 03

  I'll find feet.

• 27:52Speaker 02

  We just want to track you completely.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  It is.

• 27:54Joe Rogan?

  We want to see what your search history is on Pornhub.

• 27:56Speaker 01

  It's a nice treat, though, you go on the road, you go, "Oh, yeah."

• 27:58Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  You guys are out in New York, you don't know.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  It's all the tax-free states too. Florida, Tennessee, Florida, I don't know. Tennessee for sure.

• 28:05Speaker 01

  It is a bummer, and the only way you find out is when you're doing a show in Tennessee.

• 28:09Joe Rogan?

  Don't you guys know about ExpressVPN?

• 28:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:12Joe Rogan?

  Get ExpressVPN, say you're fucking phoning in from Thailand, you can see everything.

• 28:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, but then sometimes it goes like, "It's not registering right, it's not..." It's like, "Come on."

• 28:19Joe Rogan?

  Come on. Really, VPNs? What do you, grandpa? Grandpa doesn't know how to use the phone?

• 28:24Speaker 01

  It's still the same VPN.

• 28:25Speaker 02

  I'll tell you, the result is, I go on Xvideos now, because you could get on there.

• 28:28Speaker 01

  Everybody goes to Xvideos.

• 28:29Speaker 02

  More regular chicks, now I'm turned on to just regular bars. Before, it had to be at this level, now I'm like, "You only got 10 pounds extra, I'm into it."

• 28:36Speaker 01

  Xvideos is rough, though.

• 28:37Speaker 02

  It's rough.

• 28:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's janky.

• 28:38Speaker 02

  Bad lighting, bad stomachs.

• 28:40Joe Rogan?

  Ladies need to know, 10 pounds extra is way better than 10 pounds too thin. Right? Ozempic 10 pounds, that Ozempic 10, where your face gets sucked in.

• 28:47Speaker 02

  Depends if you're sitting up.

• 28:48Joe Rogan?

  I like soft.

• 28:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, you don't want the hollow crust.

• 28:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, like, an extra few pounds is nice. Like, when girls start thinking they need to lose weight, that's when they're like, "Tch, right there."

• 28:58Speaker 01

  And they start fucking with their face?

• 28:59Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  Cut it out.

• 29:01Joe Rogan?

  When they, they should get to, get to the point where they think they should lose a little weight and stay right there. That's, that's where they're perfect.

• 29:07Speaker 01

  Have you, are you about to call, make fun of someone's face?

• 29:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:11Speaker 02

  On top of it afterwards, I gotta tell you.

• 29:13Joe Rogan?

  It's fucking ske- Ozempic is sketchy, man. Cause like, you gotta stay on that, bro.

• 29:18Speaker 02

  It's gotta be.

• 29:18Joe Rogan?

  You don't get on it and lose a hundred pounds and then like, alright, now I get it.

• 29:22Speaker 02

  Big Jay's doing great.

• 29:24Joe Rogan?

  On Ozempic?

• 29:24Speaker 02

  He's slowly going.

• 29:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, he's skinny. He was just on the road with me this weekend.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  He's like slowly going down.

• 29:29Joe Rogan?

  How big's his head? What's his head look like?

• 29:31Speaker 03

  He's got a normal head.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  It's okay, he's turned into, you can see that he's an old Jew now.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:35Speaker 01

  Before that, he was fat enough that you didn't really see all the Jewish features.

• 29:39Joe Rogan?

  You know who said that?

• 29:40Speaker 01

  Now he's lost.

• 29:41Joe Rogan?

  William Shakner says he stays fat because it keeps the wrinkles away.

• 29:43Speaker 02

  Shakner?

• 29:44Joe Rogan?

  Cause he's, you have a plump face. Captain, motherfucking Kirk.

• 29:49Speaker 02

  Shatner?

• 29:50Joe Rogan?

  Shatner, whatever.

• 29:52Speaker 03

  Same shit, dog. Favorite basketball player is Shat.

• 29:58Speaker 02

  But he, uh, it's funny to watch Jay, like whenever we get in a car now to go somewhere, he's like, I'll get in the back. And it's like.

• 30:03Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 30:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're new, you're new, you're spry now.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's a good guy move.

• 30:08Speaker 01

  As a big guy, I relate to that.

• 30:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:10Speaker 01

  One day I dreamed to be like, fellas, I'll sit in the wayback.

• 30:13Speaker 03

  So what's he gonna do with all those giant jean shorts?

• 30:17Joe Rogan?

  Sell them.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  He's gotta buy new clothes.

• 30:18Joe Rogan?

  Make a sale for Greta. Sew them all together.

• 30:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, go fucking tents out in fucking. Myanmar.

• 30:26Speaker 02

  And re-hawking, yeah.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  I hope she live logs that shit. I wanna see her go down.

• 30:30Joe Rogan?

  Some of the rebels were arming neat tents.

• 30:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, fire them up.

• 30:35Speaker 02

  Greta Thunberg going to Palestine is like those people going to the uncharitable islands and be like, hi, I'm Christian.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  Yeah. Spearing me, you know, like.

• 30:42Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, like North Sentinel Island.

• 30:44Speaker 02

  Jesus, you forsaken me.

• 30:45Speaker 03

  That shit's crazy.

• 30:46Joe Rogan?

  Bro.

• 30:47Speaker 03

  Or the white social worker who goes into Baltimore ghetto, he's like, hey, everybody, I'm here, and they just beat the fuck out of him.

• 30:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, this isn't, this isn't, what's the movie with the?

• 30:55Joe Rogan?

  How about the dude who was a Rockefeller? The dude who was a Rockefeller?

• 30:59Speaker 02

  Dangerous Minds.

• 30:59Joe Rogan?

  Who went to the Papua New Guinea tribe and they ate him?

• 31:02Speaker 02

  You know what? He fucked up.

• 31:03Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 31:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, he fucked up because he said, "I'm actually very important where I am." They go, "Oh, that's that's more nutrients."

• 31:09Joe Rogan?

  No, no, what happened was he fucked up and was trying to get a sacred item from them and trying to buy it from them and they didn't want to give it and he was very insistent and he, he apparently offended them deeply. And then when he returned, they're like, "Oh, he's back." And they stabbed him when he was in the boat. They were taking him in the boat over there and they, they stuck him with a spear.

• 31:27Speaker 02

  Oh, maybe they just-

• 31:28Joe Rogan?

  And he's like, "Oh!" screaming out and he cried and then the guy who told the story, it's, there's a whole depiction of how he died.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  Pull it up.

• 31:34Speaker 02

  I read that it's because also like he was an important man in America, in another country, like that's, that's better to eat that. That's a good person to eat.

• 31:42Joe Rogan?

  I think the big thing was-

• 31:44Speaker 02

  You get their power.

• 31:44Joe Rogan?

  Offense. I think it was the offense because they would have killed him the first time.

• 31:48Speaker 02

  Maybe they would have killed him and not eaten him.

• 31:49Joe Rogan?

  When it came back.

• 31:50Speaker 01

  Mmm.

• 31:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 31:51Speaker 01

  Here's one and I'm trying to remember who it is. It might have been a Rockefeller.

• 31:54Speaker 02

  What?

• 31:55Speaker 01

  Somebody, somebody's like kid went to Africa and paid to watch them cannibalize a kid.

• 32:04Speaker 01

  Yikes. Whoa! I gotta remember, it's, it's a Rockefeller, like a Dupont, or like one of those names.

• 32:09Speaker 02

  I wonder if he's telling this at parties. He goes, "Guys, just so you know, they were gonna kill him and eat him anyway."

• 32:14Speaker 01

  He did? No, that's, I think that's exactly what he did. Came back and was like, "They're gonna eat him anyway."

• 32:18Speaker 02

  I just wanted to watch it.

• 32:19Speaker 01

  Holy moly.

• 32:20Joe Rogan?

  Could you imagine watching that? How about that dude, General Butt Naked? You remember that guy?

• 32:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, hell yeah.

• 32:25Joe Rogan?

  From Liberia?

• 32:26Speaker 02

  Liberia, yeah.

• 32:27Speaker 01

  No, who's that?

• 32:28Joe Rogan?

  He would, they would kidnap a child and cut the child's heart out and eat it raw before they would go into battle. And he would go into battle buck naked.

• 32:36Speaker 02

  Jameson Whiskey.

• 32:38Speaker 01

  Whoa!

• 32:38Joe Rogan?

  Jameson Whiskey aired by a slave girl to watch her get cannibalized. What? Is that true? Referenced to 130 year old what?

• 32:46Speaker 02

  That's a tough one.

• 32:47Joe Rogan?

  130 year old scandal and a horrifying anecdote from a colonial expedition.

• 32:51Speaker 02

  Jamo's been around for 130 years?

• 32:53Joe Rogan?

  Wow, he bought a slave girl to watch her get cannibalized?

• 32:56Speaker 02

  Yikes.

• 32:58Joe Rogan?

  What's true? Go up to the top, scroll up, right there. By his own admission, Jameson witnessed the murder and mutilation of a girl and is now the Democratic Republic of the Congo in 1888. Incident took place after Jameson paid handkerchiefs to a man who said, "Give me a bill of cloth and see." Oh, boy.

• 33:18Speaker 02

  What?

• 33:18Joe Rogan?

  So, Jameson insisted he did not set out with the intention of causing or witnessing any murder or act of cannibalism and described what he ultimately witnessed as the most horrifyingly sickening sight I am ever likely to see in my life.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  I mean, somebody's like, "Give me a handkerchief."

• 33:33Joe Rogan?

  But if you're like, "What do you guys do? You guys eat people?" It's like, "Give me a handkerchief and you'll see." And that's all you have to give the guy? A handkerchief?

• 33:39Speaker 02

  We all would have done it. We all would have given it a handkerchief, not knowing what it's gonna be.

• 33:42Joe Rogan?

  What does this mean?

• 33:43Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 33:44Joe Rogan?

  First of all, I'd be terrified to not give him the handkerchief.

• 33:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:47Joe Rogan?

  Because he's already killing and eating people.

• 33:48Speaker 02

  You don't know what you're getting.

• 33:49Joe Rogan?

  Like, the guy who got killed and eaten in Papua New Guinea. I bet he had no idea he offended them. He thought he was bargaining.

• 33:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:55Joe Rogan?

  You know, like, if you don't know their culture and you're deeply offending them by wanting some sacred item that they have, like, whoopsies.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  Pissing on the tree in, uh, Midsommar.

• 34:05Joe Rogan?

  In where?

• 34:05Speaker 02

  In Midsommar. He pissed on the tree. He's like, "What are you doing?" He's like, "Well, I just wanted to piss."

• 34:09Joe Rogan?

  I don't know what that is. What is that reference to? Oh, it's a hell of a movie.

• 34:13Speaker 02

  Midsommar. Ari Aster.

• 34:16Joe Rogan?

  Do you know it, Jamie? I've never said it that way.

• 34:19Speaker 02

  It's a good movie.

• 34:20Joe Rogan?

  It's a horror film.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  Good rec.

• 34:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Oh, I've never seen this.

• 34:23Speaker 02

  Oh, it's a good one.

• 34:24Joe Rogan?

  Oh, you would hate it. Would I hate it?

• 34:26Speaker 02

  No, you wouldn't.

• 34:26Speaker 01

  No, I think the phrase, you would think it was fucked up. It's too fucked up. It's pretty great.

• 34:31Speaker 02

  But it's cool.

• 34:32Joe Rogan?

  It's an 824.

• 34:33Speaker 02

  Anyway, the reference, forget it.

• 34:34Joe Rogan?

  How many fucking AI movies are gonna be made over the next year? They're coming.

• 34:38Speaker 02

  All of them. Let's get rid of the actors. I'm all for it.

• 34:39Joe Rogan?

  They're coming. Well, we don't have to hear from them.

• 34:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, we don't have to hear from them.

• 34:42Joe Rogan?

  All the mediocre actors, all the, like, CBS, like, uh, cop show actors who always played, like, the deputy. "We've got the papers, but we don't know if he did it yet." You know, that guy's gone. That guy's gone. All the NPCs are gone.

• 34:57Speaker 03

  They're looking real good. They can make a Protect Our Parks AI, three hours long.

• 35:01Speaker 02

  Do it.

• 35:02Speaker 01

  So easy to replicate. We replicate it.

• 35:04Speaker 03

  We're easy. Play Free Bird.

• 35:07Speaker 02

  Get these guys not at their best. Play Free Bird, forty minutes in. Yeah, we'll do some Hitler stuff.

• 35:12Speaker 03

  Get a pun in there.

• 35:12Speaker 01

  Get a couple of drinks and do some Hitler speeches.

• 35:15Speaker 02

  Play, hey, every play come out of the closet?

• 35:18Speaker 01

  Ooh, no, he probably will play.

• 35:19Joe Rogan?

  Hey, is that Kanye? Kanye won the hallelujah one, is that real?

• 35:23Speaker 03

  I was gonna say, he changed it.

• 35:24Joe Rogan?

  Is that legit?

• 35:25Speaker 01

  He actually changed it?

• 35:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:26Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he changed, he made a hallelujah one.

• 35:28Speaker 03

  Another version, I would.

• 35:29Speaker 02

  Of the same song?

• 35:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but it's, but it's not.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  Is that?

• 35:32Joe Rogan?

  It's like, all my brothers Christians, hallelujah.

• 35:35Speaker 03

  They still have the N-word in it?

• 35:36Joe Rogan?

  Nay, I do not believe so. I don't know. Does it, Jamie? I think it's brothers. He says brothers.

• 35:42Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 35:42Joe Rogan?

  That song was the craziest song anybody's ever put out.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  It was the craziest song I've ever heard.

• 35:46Joe Rogan?

  Have we talked about that on this? No?

• 35:48Speaker 02

  Which song? Brothers?

• 35:49Joe Rogan?

  Catchy and fucking insane.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  It's a little catchy.

• 35:51Joe Rogan?

  He said the three things you could never say all together.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  Well, that was, it was tough how tricky it was, or how catchy it was.

• 35:59Speaker 03

  I know.

• 35:59Speaker 01

  I'd listen to it and then I'd be like, that was crazy. And then the rest of my day, I'd be walking around going, hmm.

• 36:04Joe Rogan?

  It was one.

• 36:05Speaker 03

  I was humming it.

• 36:06Joe Rogan?

  Shows how important Twitter is.

• 36:08Speaker 01

  They're like, they kept it up.

• 36:09Speaker 03

  I know.

• 36:11Speaker 01

  It's up there.

• 36:11Speaker 03

  It was number two in Israel.

• 36:13Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 36:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, hit the chart, pull it up. Give it a go. Oh, it's still got the N-word in, all right. Good.

• 36:20Joe Rogan?

  Oh, it is. So he just changed that part?

• 36:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like that. It's how the melody goes, you gotta leave it.

• 36:24Joe Rogan?

  Oh, okay. I only heard one part where he's saying, all my brothers Christians.

• 36:29Speaker 03

  Google if it's number two in Israel. I swear I heard that on Spotify.

• 36:32Speaker 02

  Wait, they changed the Hitler song to the hallelujah song?

• 36:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:35Joe Rogan?

  It's wholesome.

• 36:36Speaker 01

  It's nice now.

• 36:37Speaker 02

  That's like when they changed that, let's get retarded or let's get it started.

• 36:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:40Speaker 02

  So they could do NBA commercials.

• 36:41Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 36:42Speaker 02

  It's not as good anymore.

• 36:44Joe Rogan?

  No, everybody forgets, let's get retarded and here was the song.

• 36:47Speaker 03

  That's a clear shift of like when things change.

• 36:49Joe Rogan?

  You know the first one? Um, is, uh, tutti fruity? What? Tu- tutti fruity, the original was tutti fruity good booty.

• 36:58Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 36:59Joe Rogan?

  It wasn't old Rudy. Little Richard was singing about booties.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  Your booty.

• 37:03Speaker 02

  Tu- tutti fruity.

• 37:05Joe Rogan?

  Tu- tutti fruity good booty. It's all about sex. If you listen to the song.

• 37:08Speaker 02

  It was an IHOP commercial.

• 37:09Joe Rogan?

  The original version of the song, like you could see the lyrics online. You could find them.

• 37:13Speaker 03

  It's a fun fucking song.

• 37:14Joe Rogan?

  That was the original song. He was talking about.

• 37:16Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 37:18Speaker 02

  Oh, that's, that's how you're.

• 37:19Joe Rogan?

  He's thinking about good booty.

• 37:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, we all.

• 37:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Isn't that wild?

• 37:23Speaker 03

  Good for him.

• 37:25Joe Rogan?

  This episode is brought to you by UFC on ESPN plus. All right, guys, mark your calendars because UFC 316 is going down Saturday, June 7th, live from Newark, New Jersey, and this card is stacked. In the main event, Marab Dwawaswili, AKA The Machine, the bantamweight champion of the world, making his second title defense, and he's taking on none other than Sugar Sean O'Malley. You heard that right. It's a rematch from their wild clash at Noche UFC. Then, in the co-main, it's Kayla Harrison finally getting her shot at UFC gold. She's facing Juliana Peña, who is defending her title in her second reign. And listen, there's some serious heat between these two because whoever comes out on top might just

• 38:08Joe Rogan?

  end up facing Hall of Famer Amanda Nunez. Don't miss this one. Purchase UFC 316 at ESPNplus.com/Rogan. Saturday, June 7th at 10:00 PM Eastern. Very gay. You can find the lyrics.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  He used to come into the store, Little Richard. Stayed next door.

• 38:25Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 38:26Speaker 02

  Stayed beyond us.

• 38:26Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. He used to live there, right?

• 38:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, I lived at the, it was the Hyatt back then. He lived there.

• 38:30Joe Rogan?

  Holy shit.

• 38:31Speaker 02

  Weird.

• 38:32Joe Rogan?

  Sometimes guys get to a certain point where they just want a maid to fucking clean the room. Who cares? An apartment, anywhere else, same thing.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  Val Kilmer lived in a hotel, too.

• 38:41Joe Rogan?

  Probably.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  So.

• 38:43Joe Rogan?

  It's a wild thing. They do so much money.

• 38:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know, right? That Chateau Marmont. A lot of people live there.

• 38:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, when you're cracked out.

• 38:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:51Joe Rogan?

  It's a good place to go to be fully cracked out.

• 38:53Speaker 03

  It's the beginning of the end over there.

• 38:55Joe Rogan?

  You go there with a fucking plan. Velvet jacket and a plan. I'm gonna fucking die here.

• 39:04Speaker 02

  I need to get to the right level of coke where I think I have powers.

• 39:06Joe Rogan?

  You got a cigarette holder with them long stems. That must be so nice.

• 39:11Speaker 03

  I know.

• 39:11Joe Rogan?

  To be that high on cocaine that you're like, I am the man.

• 39:14Speaker 02

  I am the man.

• 39:15Joe Rogan?

  I'm gonna fucking die in this place.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  I wouldn't want the maid coming in, though. Living in a hotel, you got secret shit in there.

• 39:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but that's the thrill of it. That's the thrill of it. It's like spies. Like spy versus spy. And you're so high.

• 39:27Speaker 02

  Husky pin.

• 39:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:29Joe Rogan?

  You're absolutely convinced the maid is CIA. Yeah.

• 39:32Speaker 03

  Oh, 100%.

• 39:33Speaker 02

  That's what the maid is like. You're coming in, you're coming all the way in.

• 39:36Speaker 02

  No peek in your head.

• 39:37Speaker 03

  There's something hot about the maid in the room, isn't it?

• 39:39Speaker 02

  It's because of your porn search. Don't force it. You can grease it, make it easy.

• 39:43Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 39:45Joe Rogan?

  They're replaced with tutti fruity all rudy. Tutti fruity all rudy. Tutti fruity good booty. If it don't fit, don't force it. You can grease it, make it easy. What is the rest?

• 39:54Speaker 02

  This is WAP. This is the original WAP.

• 39:56Joe Rogan?

  Tutti fruity, good booty. If it's tight, it's alright.

• 40:00Speaker 02

  If it's greasy, it makes it easy?

• 40:01Joe Rogan?

  It makes it easy.

• 40:02Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 40:03Speaker 05

  I think it said he was playing the song live and then when they recorded it changed it.

• 40:07Speaker 03

  Wait, he was gay?

• 40:08Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 40:10Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 40:11Speaker 03

  Get out of here.

• 40:12Joe Rogan?

  Verses contain descriptions of anal sex. Oh my goodness.

• 40:16Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. It hits different. You know it's a gay guy.

• 40:18Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my goodness.

• 40:18Speaker 03

  Gross.

• 40:20Joe Rogan?

  What does it say about? Hold on. Go back to the bottom. Stop right there. Um, Blackwell contacted local songwriter Dorothy. A lady wrote this?

• 40:30Speaker 05

  That's revised.

• 40:31Joe Rogan?

  Boss tree to revise the lyrics. Oh, there we go. With Little Richard still playing in his characteristic style. Oh, after lively performance, Blackwell knew the song was going to be a hit, but recognized that the lyrics with their menstrual modes and sexual humor needed to be revised for lyrical purity.

• 40:47Speaker 02

  Little habits time. Someone should make that now with the original.

• 40:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 40:51Speaker 03

  It's like Lil Nas X.

• 40:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Yeah, Lil Nas X should put that out.

• 40:56Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 40:56Speaker 05

  1955.

• 40:57Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 40:58Joe Rogan?

  It was 1955? He was talking about greasing up guys' dicks and asses?

• 41:02Speaker 02

  Fetty WAP could do it.

• 41:03Joe Rogan?

  Free Fetty WAP.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  Free Fetty.

• 41:06Speaker 03

  What did he do?

• 41:07Speaker 01

  I think he sold drugs.

• 41:08Speaker 02

  Nothing.

• 41:10Speaker 03

  What was he accused of?

• 41:12Speaker 02

  Juicy J.

• 41:13Speaker 01

  I think it was selling drugs.

• 41:15Speaker 02

  Juicy J could pull that song off of the air.

• 41:17Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  Yeah. He never came off his game.

• 41:20Joe Rogan?

  There's dudes out there that can pull that off.

• 41:21Speaker 02

  Can't get a mouth pregnant.

• 41:24Speaker 02

  It's a Juicy J lyric.

• 41:25Speaker 03

  Is that right?

• 41:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  That's fun.

• 41:30Joe Rogan?

  They used to have to hide. Gay guys used to have to hide. Isn't that crazy?

• 41:34Speaker 02

  Just like metaphor.

• 41:35Joe Rogan?

  Used to have to hide.

• 41:36Speaker 03

  The psycho, Anthony Perkis.

• 41:40Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he was gay too?

• 41:40Speaker 03

  Big homo.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  Big.

• 41:45Joe Rogan?

  He got the AIDS. You know where they still have to hide, though? Leading man roles. Yeah, Tom Cruise. I don't know if that's true. Well, he's gonna fly off a mountain just to not blow a guy.

• 41:55Speaker 02

  He's grandfather anyway.

• 41:58Joe Rogan?

  He's gotta do those stunts.

• 42:00Speaker 01

  Get me to outer space.

• 42:01Joe Rogan?

  But you know what I'm saying, like if you know a guy's married and he has a husband, you don't wanna see him in a leading role making out with a lady. For what, you're like, ah, he's all there thinking about dicks. Yeah, that's a good point, but it's acting. That, but it's the one thing where we don't, we're homophobic, like openly, right? Like lesbians, it doesn't matter. Like if you know a lady's a lesbian, like Jodie Foster, she's allowed to play a wife of somebody. Nobody cares. Nobody blinks. But if you know, name one instance of a guy who's a young, handsome gay guy, who gets to play straight in a big movie. It's like, who would use, like, if you found out that...

• 42:39Speaker 02

  Who's super gay?

• 42:40Joe Rogan?

  Christian Bale. Like if you found out Christian Bale was gay, it would ruin his whole gig.

• 42:42Speaker 02

  Who are the gay?

• 42:43Speaker 01

  Now, he's, he'd be, it'd be like, he's like one of those actors like Daniel Day-Lewis.

• 42:48Speaker 02

  Too good.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  Where you're like, he's such a fucking artist that you'd be like...

• 42:52Joe Rogan?

  Up to a point.

• 42:53Speaker 01

  He's something.

• 42:53Joe Rogan?

  I think Tom Hardy. No one's pulled that off.

• 42:55Speaker 02

  Tom Hardy.

• 42:56Joe Rogan?

  Tom Hardy's bi.

• 42:57Speaker 01

  Tom Hardy's had some butt sex.

• 42:58Joe Rogan?

  Is that true? Yeah, pull up.

• 42:59Speaker 02

  Can't go all the way.

• 43:01Joe Rogan?

  Is that confirmed?

• 43:02Speaker 02

  He's such a good actor, he played a Mohican.

• 43:03Speaker 05

  That's for sure.

• 43:04Joe Rogan?

  I'm Hardy. So weird statements are fun. He's explicitly stated that he's, while he's not explicitly stated he's gay or bisexual, he's acknowledged exploring his sexuality. Alright, what we told him then.

• 43:15Speaker 02

  He wears masks.

• 43:16Joe Rogan?

  He just wears masks. No, he's tooty fruity. He wears goggles. He's great on Mob Land, bro.

• 43:23Speaker 01

  He's a beast. Heard Mob Land, bro.

• 43:25Joe Rogan?

  Is so good. He's great in everything. Have you seen it, Ari?

• 43:27Speaker 02

  Uh-uh.

• 43:28Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god, Paramount Plus, Mob Land, five stars. I give it all, all the stars. Guy Ritchie show. Oh, he's great. Crazy, English mob show. You're like, Jesus Christ, every show gives me anxiety. Every episode, like, what the fuck?

• 43:40Speaker 02

  They need a rating system back on TV, because I am too deep into these shows, where it's like, oh, this is made for children. And like, you don't know.

• 43:48Joe Rogan?

  What are you watching?

• 43:48Speaker 02

  Paramount Plus has stuff on regular TV and stuff like that, and they just blend it all in together, and you don't know what you're getting into.

• 43:54Speaker 01

  You're watching fucking Bluey?

• 43:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you're watching Coco Melon?

• 43:57Speaker 02

  And you're like, oh, this is a fucking...

• 43:59Speaker 01

  Episode seven of Bluey, you go, this is for fucking kids.

• 44:02Joe Rogan?

  Ari's high watching Miss Rachel.

• 44:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, what is, uh, don't they tell you, like, violence, nudity, all that stuff at the beginning of the show?

• 44:11Speaker 02

  So you need that, otherwise, like, I can't have it? I need ones made for the kids. Who's the one that's half deer? All the kids are half, like, animals and half-

• 44:17Joe Rogan?

  Half deer? What?

• 44:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know what that is.

• 44:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:20Speaker 01

  I saw, I saw the first- Yeah, yeah.

• 44:22Speaker 02

  You see a season in, you're like, oh.

• 44:24Joe Rogan?

  It's a kid's show where they're half animals? Sweet Tooth.

• 44:27Speaker 02

  Sweet Tooth.

• 44:28Joe Rogan?

  Never heard of this. What is it about?

• 44:29Speaker 01

  It's a little s-

• 44:30Speaker 02

  Post-apocalyptic.

• 44:31Joe Rogan?

  Sweet Tooth. A post-apocalyptic-

• 44:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, where, like, humans and animals started merging.

• 44:35Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 44:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a cool idea.

• 44:37Joe Rogan?

  But it's a kid's show?

• 44:38Speaker 02

  They don't tell you in the teaser.

• 44:40Speaker 01

  It's not really a kid's show.

• 44:41Joe Rogan?

  DC Comics, I don't know. What the fuck?

• 44:42Speaker 02

  It's like not made for adults.

• 44:43Joe Rogan?

  What are you missing? They wish they had more violence?

• 44:47Speaker 02

  More real violence, it's just too sweet. It's just made for, like, fifteen years.

• 44:52Joe Rogan?

  That's cute. Kids with antlers, that's kinda weird. Fun. They gotta sleep in the back. Is this a new, uh? How you sleep with antlers, bullshit. You think it's cute? Give a kid a fucking head gear that he can't move around his house with? That sucks. What if he tries to get through the trees and he gets stuck? He's gonna cry. Yeah. Human kids with antlers, it's a terrible idea.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  Terrible idea. Don't do it.

• 45:15Speaker 01

  They got it for Fallout, boy.

• 45:17Joe Rogan?

  And then your fucking neck hurts, cause you're carrying on all that extra weight, and it falls off, and then it pops back up again. And that means you only breed once a year if you have antlers.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  Joe's taking it.

• 45:26Joe Rogan?

  You got one month out of the year where you get horny.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  Watch out for you, dude.

• 45:30Joe Rogan?

  Not only that, you're gonna stab your friends to death with those antlers.

• 45:33Speaker 01

  You're gonna be out in the woods.

• 45:34Joe Rogan?

  You're gonna shoot them with a-

• 45:34Speaker 01

  That motherfucker.

• 45:35Joe Rogan?

  Crossbow. I hunt those kids.

• 45:37Speaker 02

  This show's recommended for ages ten and up.

• 45:39Joe Rogan?

  You're over ten. There you go. You're over ten.

• 45:42Speaker 02

  Fair, fair, I'll give it another go. I will give it another go.

• 45:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, the antlers, sometimes they get stuck in a tree. A hundred percent. Yeah, animals die that way sometimes. Damn.

• 45:52Speaker 01

  I'd like to see them, you ever see those guys, like, moose, like, when they shake their fucking antlers off? What's that called?

• 45:56Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, shedding.

• 45:57Speaker 01

  Shed, yeah.

• 45:57Joe Rogan?

  Whoa.

• 45:58Speaker 01

  I could've got that, fuck.

• 45:59Joe Rogan?

  Giant paddles. Pull it up. Yeah, giant paddles.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  It, like, surprises them.

• 46:03Joe Rogan?

  And then they're, they're free, because of all that weight. You know how much those things weigh? Those are bone. But it's basically a weapon, right? See, this is, uh, these two deer are locked.

• 46:11Speaker 02

  Oh. What, that's the guy's gonna shoot it?

• 46:13Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you gotta, this guy's gonna shoot the antlers off. He's gonna separate them. What the fuck? So he's gonna do that with a shotgun. He's just gonna get a good shot.

• 46:20Speaker 02

  So, only he's gonna shoot the antlers and not them?

• 46:22Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, not them. He's an expert.

• 46:23Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 46:24Joe Rogan?

  He's a really good shot.

• 46:25Speaker 01

  In the snow, this guy's a man.

• 46:27Joe Rogan?

  So all he has to do is like clip one of the antlers and it'll blow them all apart.

• 46:30Speaker 03

  Chelsea Antlers.

• 46:31Speaker 01

  No way.

• 46:32Joe Rogan?

  He got it, boom. So he shot the antler, boom.

• 46:36Speaker 03

  What a guy.

• 46:37Joe Rogan?

  They broke free. Cause they get eaten by coyotes that way. And the coyote eats your friend while you're stuck to him.

• 46:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:43Joe Rogan?

  They found this one deer, well buddy of mine found one deer that was connected still to this, uh, dead deer.

• 46:49Speaker 01

  Oh, and it, yeah.

• 46:50Joe Rogan?

  The coyotes are eating his friend, they tore, ate his guts out, everything was gone, they just ate as much as they wanted. In the morning, he's still stuck.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 46:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, and he lived. Imagine how horrifying that would be? You're handcuffed to your buddy and your buddy gets eaten by zombies, but they're full.

• 47:06Speaker 01

  He's gotta chill with them for a minute.

• 47:07Joe Rogan?

  But you're still handcuffed to him.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  It's like when those guys fuck the Siamese twin? And they're like, well, it's only one asshole.

• 47:13Joe Rogan?

  Look at this, here's another one of those. So this is, uh, this, so this happens more than, you know. So it's coyotes that are moving in on him, they've already killed his buddy and he's still attached to him. And they're like, it's just, it's just gory and horrible.

• 47:29Speaker 03

  That's brutal.

• 47:30Joe Rogan?

  It's crazy. And he's, he was stuck with them the whole time. Look how much they ate out of him.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  That's so dangerous.

• 47:36Speaker 03

  Hung, handcuffed his drunk friend.

• 47:37Joe Rogan?

  Coyotes are just little wolves. That's all they are. They're little wolves that are everywhere in every state.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  They're everywhere.

• 47:42Joe Rogan?

  Everywhere.

• 47:43Speaker 01

  They came to, they're at my parents' house now in Pennsylvania.

• 47:46Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they spread across the whole country.

• 47:47Speaker 01

  You can hear them at night, it's fucking, it's pretty intense. Starts screaming, you know, like, oh, somebody's fucking pet.

• 47:52Speaker 02

  They triangulate, right?

• 47:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. They mostly eat pets.

• 47:55Speaker 01

  My cat was out there and I was watching TV one night and I heard them all screaming. I heard like screaming for a little and I was like, what the fuck was that? And then I walked outside and my cat was like laying on the ground and there were just three coyotes.

• 48:08Speaker 03

  What?

• 48:08Speaker 01

  Circling him. And I don't run out there, I was so scared. I was like, hey, get the fuck out of here.

• 48:13Speaker 03

  Right.

• 48:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they don't listen.

• 48:15Speaker 01

  But I picked my cat up and he was purring, it was very weird.

• 48:17Joe Rogan?

  It's probably so happy that your daddy was up there.

• 48:19Speaker 01

  It was really sweet, yeah.

• 48:20Joe Rogan?

  It is sweet, yeah.

• 48:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love that cat, he's dead now. R.I.P. Tibble.

• 48:24Joe Rogan?

  That's the problem with cats, they don't live that long.

• 48:26Speaker 01

  He got fucking mauled by, uh, something. He was an outdoor cat.

• 48:29Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Outdoor cats are little murderers though.

• 48:30Speaker 01

  I like them.

• 48:31Joe Rogan?

  He had it coming. They kill all the birds.

• 48:33Speaker 02

  And present it to you.

• 48:34Joe Rogan?

  Yes.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  Brought rabbits into the house alive.

• 48:37Speaker 02

  Killed this for you.

• 48:38Speaker 01

  Fucking demon.

• 48:39Joe Rogan?

  Do you imagine how fun it must be to be a cat and you have all your food, so you're covered already.

• 48:45Speaker 01

  This is just for fun.

• 48:45Joe Rogan?

  This is funsies. Yeah. You're not eating for survival.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  I liked letting them out.

• 48:49Speaker 02

  I feed off the screens.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  House cat.

• 48:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, if a cat's got a yard, it's kind of brutal to not let them out, but it's brutal to let them out for everything else.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  I love those missing cat pictures in, uh, on the.

• 49:01Joe Rogan?

  On the posts?

• 49:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, in LA.

• 49:02Joe Rogan?

  Guess what?

• 49:03Speaker 02

  Buddy.

• 49:03Joe Rogan?

  They're gone. You ain't getting that cat.

• 49:05Speaker 01

  Before coyotes, though, it wasn't.

• 49:07Joe Rogan?

  No. Unreasonable. It was a car accident.

• 49:09Speaker 01

  Now it's like.

• 49:09Joe Rogan?

  Before a coyote, you, you found your cat dead on the side of the road, like, aww. Every now and then, like a month later, that thing will come back, like a, like a stepdad.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  That's how they've, both of my cats were outdoor cats and they came back.

• 49:21Joe Rogan?

  See?

• 49:21Speaker 01

  Fucking mauled.

• 49:23Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 49:24Speaker 01

  Like, one of them had its eyeball hanging out.

• 49:26Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 49:27Speaker 01

  And like crawled back to the house.

• 49:29Joe Rogan?

  It's like John Wick. Why? Come back torn up. They go out and fight to the death.

• 49:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:33Joe Rogan?

  Cats fight. It's horrible watching cats fight. Oh, yeah. Especially the outside ones, where they really get after it, because they used to kill and things.

• 49:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:41Joe Rogan?

  Regular indoor cat, their whole life, they just like walk around with a boner, never get the fuck, you know, that's what it's like. You're a little murderer and you're a little murderer that's contained in the house. That's true, and you're showing me your asshole. And if you let that little murderer out, it could be 11 years old, 11 years of the perfect life.

• 49:56Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 49:57Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 49:57Speaker 01

  Let them out.

• 49:58Joe Rogan?

  Lock on a burp.

• 49:59Speaker 01

  Who do you, who do you think wins? City cats or outdoor rural cats?

• 50:04Speaker 02

  Rural, rural.

• 50:04Joe Rogan?

  Rural, yeah. Just like humans.

• 50:07Speaker 01

  I'm, uh, yeah.

• 50:08Joe Rogan?

  Just like humans.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  Just like humans, yeah.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Happy week.

• 50:10Speaker 02

  Appalachia wins. Appalachia wins over New York City every day.

• 50:12Joe Rogan?

  If Dallas had to like fight the ranchers. The ranchers that surround Dallas.

• 50:18Speaker 02

  They're like my Stetson hat.

• 50:20Joe Rogan?

  Fucking bloodbath. It'd be a bloodbath. Tim Walz versus Rogan. Yeah, it's not, yeah. The world's got it all day long.

• 50:28Speaker 01

  It's funny, I had pride in that. Like, I would, when in Queens, when I was walking around, I'd see like a outdoor cat and I'd just be like, Tibble would fuck you up. My guy would fuck you up.

• 50:39Speaker 03

  My cat, I got a Maine Coon.

• 50:41Speaker 01

  That's awesome.

• 50:41Speaker 03

  Huge, big claws, big ears, but I can't let it out.

• 50:45Speaker 01

  No shit.

• 50:45Speaker 03

  It's staying in my apartment. Yeah. It's like a honey badger.

• 50:49Joe Rogan?

  That's so crazy, people say a lynx is loose.

• 50:52Speaker 03

  I mean, that thing's jumping up the stairs, it's crazy.

• 50:56Joe Rogan?

  When I was in high school, we lived across the street from this park area, and I had this black cat. This cat was evil, he killed everything. And one day, he killed a squirrel, and he was dragging it across the street. The squirrel's as big as him. And he's got his mouth on the squirrel's neck, and the squirrel's body's between his legs, and he's walking around like this. Dragging it because he wants to show me that he killed the squirrel. I was like, yo, I was watching him do it from the window in the kitchen, I was like, what the fuck?

• 51:24Speaker 01

  I have to have told this story on here before, and stop me if I have.

• 51:27Joe Rogan?

  This episode is brought to you by Noco, you're miles from home, you turn the key, nothing, dead battery. Normally, that means finding another car, someone willing to give you a jump, and dealing with old jumper cables. But what if you didn't need any of that? Keep a Noco portable jump starter in your glove box, and jump start your car yourself. No cables, no second vehicle, no waiting for help. It also works as a power bank and has a built-in LED flashlight. Noco, the end of jumper cables. Use code ROGEN10 for 10% off, select jump starters at N O dot C O. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. If you're thinking about building a website, you should try Squarespace.

• 52:12Joe Rogan?

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• 52:43Speaker 01

  I watched Tibble kill a rabbit in the yard, and I heard it screaming. So I like went out to be like, I pulled him off the rabbit. And when I lifted, it was funny. He was all muscle. I was holding him under his chest and he was just

• 52:57Speaker 01

  like you could feel him, feel him breathing. Then I put him back in the house and as soon as I put him down, he fucking scratched me and walked away.

• 53:03Joe Rogan?

  Whoa, he was mad at you.

• 53:05Speaker 01

  It was crazy.

• 53:05Joe Rogan?

  He was mad at you. You ruined his fun, piece of shit. This is what I live for.

• 53:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, for real.

• 53:10Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 53:11Speaker 01

  I got called gay by my cat.

• 53:14Joe Rogan?

  Did I tell you when my dog, my dog got honey dick by a coyote and tricked into breaking into the chicken coop? Wait, honey dick what, huh? Yeah, this coyote became his friend. He was this big mastiff and the coyotes knew they couldn't eat him because he was huge. So they became friends with him. Hmm. So he thought they were dogs. And so, uh, the coyote hopped the fence. He's like, hey, you know, there's a chicken in there. We can get in there. And he's like, I can get in there. So he fucking tears open the chicken coop because he could at any time he wanted to. The coyote grabs it and the coyote hopped over the fence. I watched the coyote hop over a six foot wrought iron fence like it was nothing.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  That's awesome.

• 53:49Joe Rogan?

  He leaped up in the air, touched the top of the fence with his feet and then put his back feet on and hopped over with a chicken in his mouth. It's like a Mexican. I was like, I am under.

• 53:57Speaker 01

  You saw it taking the chicken?

• 53:59Joe Rogan?

  No, I just saw the chick. We were playing. I was playing a board game with my family in the living room and one of my kids yelled out. One of my kids yelled out, it's a coyote. And then you see this fucking coyote run across the backyard with a chicken in his mouth. Just get to that fucking fence and leap. It like flew like it was like gravity wasn't real.

• 54:21Speaker 01

  Were you like impressed or were you mad?

• 54:22Joe Rogan?

  Super impressed.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 54:24Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's like that. You can't be mad. I was mad. I wanted to kill it, but it's like that's, that's what they do and that was impressive.

• 54:30Speaker 01

  But that's all you, that chicken's cost is worth you saying that.

• 54:34Joe Rogan?

  Oh, a hundred percent. Yeah, a hundred percent. But then Johnny realized that there's this whole, that was like, one chicken was brooding. And when a chicken's brooding, you have to separate them from the other chickens because they won't lay eggs and they pick all their feathers out. They think they're going to make a baby with this unfertilized egg. So they would just want to sit on top of the egg. They don't want to go around. It's a weird psychological thing. The way to break them of it, you take them and you put them in a little tiny pen by themselves where they have to stand on a post. So then they, they can't nest, right? And then they do it for a few days. Like, um, I'm over it. And then they go back to being a regular chicken. They're not the smartest things in the world. But this, so this one was in this little tiny one. But then Johnny Cash realized. I could just go through this wall. Cause he was a hundred and forty pound mastiff. He was huge.

• 55:18Joe Rogan?

  So he just tore the chicken wire open himself and killed nine chickens before I got to him.

• 55:25Speaker 03

  Holy shit.

• 55:26Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that was a couple of days later. But the coyotes had talked to kill him and convinced him like, chicken eating is fun. You're good, you're not eating these chickens. Look how big you are. You can eat the chickens.

• 55:36Speaker 02

  Good point.

• 55:37Joe Rogan?

  It tricked him into doing it, man. I got, he had never done that before. And then he's hanging out with this coyote and the coyote is like his homie.

• 55:45Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 55:46Speaker 02

  Honey dictum?

• 55:47Joe Rogan?

  Honey dictum.

• 55:47Speaker 02

  What's that, what's that term?

• 55:49Joe Rogan?

  They probably sent a female coyote and just like, ooh.

• 55:53Speaker 02

  That's what the Mormons do.

• 55:54Joe Rogan?

  Smells like pussy, doesn't it?

• 55:56Speaker 02

  The Mormons out in Salt Lake, they send all the cute ones to try to convert you, try to get you in.

• 55:59Speaker 01

  I heard it works. That would work on me in a second.

• 56:01Joe Rogan?

  That'd work.

• 56:02Speaker 03

  Fuck that hot, if you're twenty one.

• 56:04Speaker 02

  No, but the problem is it's a Utah hot. So it's like a five.

• 56:07Speaker 01

  I disagree, Utah, Utah's.

• 56:09Speaker 03

  Utah's pretty hot.

• 56:10Speaker 02

  The one's out, the one's out. The one's still in or chubby and fucking not tattooed.

• 56:14Speaker 03

  You see Japan.

• 56:17Joe Rogan?

  Or is it they have to be tattooed for I like them? That's hilarious.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  Anyone in Utah that's out of the Mormons that are just like fuck sleeves.

• 56:23Speaker 03

  Always.

• 56:24Speaker 02

  Hair and.

• 56:24Joe Rogan?

  Once they get out, once they get out, they go hard.

• 56:26Speaker 02

  Far out.

• 56:27Joe Rogan?

  They go hard.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  Fake tits, they go in.

• 56:29Joe Rogan?

  Well, the thing is they feel like they have to make up for lost time.

• 56:31Speaker 03

  Right.

• 56:32Joe Rogan?

  They've been wearing magic underwear since you're twenty four.

• 56:34Speaker 03

  They can't even drink coffee.

• 56:36Joe Rogan?

  That's so crazy. But you can drink energy drinks? Did you know that?

• 56:38Speaker 02

  Really?

• 56:39Speaker 03

  No.

• 56:39Joe Rogan?

  My friend was a Mormon. He was down in these fucking giant monsters. I was like, bro, that is way more caffeine.

• 56:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:45Joe Rogan?

  Than a, than a cup of coffee. He's like, yeah, but it says coffee. It doesn't say energy drinks. Like, yeah, but a guy wrote it. We know the guy.

• 56:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. It's a tough town of Mormons. They believe a guy wrote it.

• 56:55Joe Rogan?

  They're like, what are you, what are you, what are you talking about? A fourteen year old wrote that down.

• 56:59Speaker 02

  Just some dude.

• 56:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, he had gold tablet and he was the only one that could read it.

• 57:01Joe Rogan?

  He would deprive energy drinks of you too.

• 57:04Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 57:04Speaker 02

  He would now.

• 57:05Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, a hundred percent.

• 57:06Speaker 02

  He just didn't know about it.

• 57:06Joe Rogan?

  No loopholes.

• 57:07Speaker 03

  No porn, no caffeine, no booze.

• 57:09Joe Rogan?

  Magic underwear.

• 57:10Speaker 03

  And they gotta soak. They can't throw.

• 57:12Joe Rogan?

  That's fine.

• 57:13Speaker 01

  I don't mind a little soaking, dude. I love the.

• 57:15Speaker 02

  Soak is actually pretty good.

• 57:16Speaker 03

  I couldn't do it.

• 57:17Speaker 02

  If a girl gets off on a soak, just leave it in, no movement. She's like, that's what I like. Like, whoa.

• 57:22Speaker 01

  Whoa. Where the fuck do you find her? That'd be.

• 57:24Joe Rogan?

  Mormon country.

• 57:25Speaker 02

  New York.

• 57:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:27Joe Rogan?

  You gotta get an Amish lady.

• 57:28Speaker 01

  Your address.

• 57:30Speaker 03

  She's asleep.

• 57:32Joe Rogan?

  Come on now, right now.

• 57:33Speaker 03

  Wanna see pictures?

• 57:35Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, no, the, when I found out about soaking, I was like, oh, Chris.

• 57:39Joe Rogan?

  It's so crazy that they allow them to do that.

• 57:42Speaker 02

  Also, you know you're gonna blow if you're soaking.

• 57:44Speaker 01

  I blow just being next to a girl.

• 57:47Speaker 03

  Of course, of course. It's a hot meat glove.

• 57:49Speaker 02

  In there.

• 57:50Joe Rogan?

  It's designed for that. It's designed to trick you into making people.

• 57:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:54Joe Rogan?

  It's designed to trick you into it.

• 57:56Speaker 03

  You see, uh, Japan's birth rate is so low, they're flying people in. You get a birthright. Blow it up.

• 58:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it is crazy. Yeah, they make it real economical. Real safe to live there, too. Lot of appeal. But you gotta learn Japanese.

• 58:08Speaker 03

  Eh, I think they would learn if they're submissive.

• 58:11Speaker 02

  Easy language to learn.

• 58:12Joe Rogan?

  Is it?

• 58:12Speaker 02

  No, it's all symbols and upside down bushes and stuff.

• 58:15Joe Rogan?

  It's so nuts that people develop these fucking languages that are just so different than anywhere else. Like, when you look at, like, Russian writing, you're like, what are you doing with the letters?

• 58:24Speaker 02

  I was in, uh, New York yesterday and there was a, there was a white family speaking a lang- I'm usually pretty good at picking out what the language is.

• 58:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:31Speaker 02

  No idea.

• 58:32Joe Rogan?

  Should call Ari Matty. Probably Estonians.

• 58:35Speaker 02

  Icelandic or some shit. It was something like crazy.

• 58:38Speaker 01

  Viking. Viking talk.

• 58:40Joe Rogan?

  They look like Vikings.

• 58:41Speaker 01

  Boom.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  Man. I just played Reykjavik. That is a great town.

• 58:45Joe Rogan?

  Is it?

• 58:46Speaker 03

  Unreal. It's like otherworldly. It's glaciers, it's volcanoes, it's saunas and hot springs.

• 58:53Joe Rogan?

  And they all speak English.

• 58:54Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 58:55Speaker 02

  In town, for sure.

• 58:56Speaker 03

  It was great. No Myobies.

• 58:58Joe Rogan?

  Out of town, they do Viking songs.

• 58:59Speaker 02

  In the whatever, they, they don't, but like, yeah, Reykjavik rules. That's all cool drinking town.

• 59:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, great town.

• 59:05Speaker 02

  Interesting. The chicks are like smart.

• 59:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:08Joe Rogan?

  That's where all the strongmen come from, too.

• 59:10Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Big dudes out there.

• 59:12Joe Rogan?

  Magnus von Magnuson type dudes.

• 59:14Speaker 03

  Blonde men.

• 59:15Joe Rogan?

  Big fucking Viking leftovers.

• 59:17Speaker 02

  Plus your cousin fucking-

• 59:18Speaker 01

  I was hoping I had some Viking in me.

• 59:20Joe Rogan?

  You don't?

• 59:20Speaker 01

  No, just strictly fucking Irish.

• 59:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, big Irish.

• 59:23Speaker 01

  I was hoping I was one of those fucking Irish people that got raped by Vikings.

• 59:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  It's like, I'm probably a fucking Viking. Nope, just a fucking mud person.

• 59:31Joe Rogan?

  How far back, how far back can they tell, like, like, what happened to you?

• 59:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, what percentage?

• 59:36Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, how do they, they're always updating it, too, like 23andMe. Thank God they get, didn't get bought by the Chinese. Some other company bought 23andMe. Now a date is safe again, boys.

• 59:45Speaker 01

  I don't know what they're gonna do with my spit.

• 59:47Speaker 03

  I know.

• 59:48Joe Rogan?

  They're gonna use it to make a fucking disease that only kills you.

• 59:51Speaker 03

  They got your DNA now.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  I got that. I got that already. It's called fucking-

• 59:56Speaker 03

  Call Irish.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, me and my whole island that I came from.

• 1:00:03Speaker 03

  Belfast, it's wild, you can't bring up the whole, you know.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, the troubles?

• 1:00:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, the troubles, which is a cute name.

• 1:00:09Speaker 02

  You can't bring it up.

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  I don't know, that got weird. Neecap's back, let's go. Neecap's back, I put the wrong flag on Instagram and I got like twenty messages like, take that shit down, we'll kill you.

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, well, you can't put up any flag.

• 1:00:20Joe Rogan?

  Don't put up.

• 1:00:21Speaker 03

  I didn't know.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  If you put up a flag, you're gonna get messages from somebody.

• 1:00:25Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 1:00:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, Spain has like three flags.

• 1:00:27Speaker 03

  The pride flag got me in trouble too.

• 1:00:29Joe Rogan?

  Pride flag. It's the whole month, boys.

• 1:00:31Speaker 03

  Oh, that's right.

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's time.

• 1:00:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:34Speaker 02

  A few days down.

• 1:00:34Speaker 03

  It's a lot less, uh, talk about it.

• 1:00:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's not everywhere anymore.

• 1:00:39Speaker 03

  Every corporation.

• 1:00:40Speaker 02

  It's funny, the corporations are like, oh, we don't have to anymore, turns out we're always, didn't give a fuck.

• 1:00:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:44Speaker 02

  We never once actually gave a fuck.

• 1:00:46Joe Rogan?

  They give a fuck for one month. Is it still pride month?

• 1:00:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, it just started.

• 1:00:49Joe Rogan?

  Say no pride month.

• 1:00:50Speaker 01

  They're still gonna do pride, pride month.

• 1:00:52Joe Rogan?

  Does Trump say no pride month?

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  I hope he doesn't say no pride month.

• 1:00:54Joe Rogan?

  Well, you can't.

• 1:00:55Speaker 01

  Cause then they're gonna really.

• 1:00:56Joe Rogan?

  But the thing is, you can't, like, if we, if we decide to protect our parks month, who the fuck is that to tell us?

• 1:01:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's not, it's not, it's not an official thing.

• 1:01:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Well, who's, who are the officials at this point in time?

• 1:01:06Speaker 03

  The gay overlords.

• 1:01:07Joe Rogan?

  Pride month no more, Trump administration says, June is Title IX month.

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  What is that?

• 1:01:11Joe Rogan?

  That is the, the thing that allows women to compete with only women in sports.

• 1:01:15Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:01:16Speaker 02

  Isn't Title IX where they have to give women sports money?

• 1:01:19Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah, equal representation for women's sports.

• 1:01:22Speaker 02

  And now Title IX is anti, it's anti-trans? It was pro-women.

• 1:01:26Joe Rogan?

  It's pro-women and then there's trans women who think they're women and they wanna compete with women and Title IX should be there protecting. Yeah. Some dude with a problem with his mom. Yeah, some guy who hates women.

• 1:01:39Speaker 02

  Some dude with a problem with his mom.

• 1:01:41Joe Rogan?

  Some guy who had a rough time shows up. If you just were allowed to like beat up women, if you like made a league where men are allowed to fight women, how fucking scary.

• 1:01:49Speaker 01

  I've imagined that every day. Every morning I wake up, I go, oh, you're lucky that my fucking league hasn't taken off yet.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  You and me, fucking heavyweight title.

• 1:02:01Speaker 02

  Matt has a joke about it.

• 1:02:02Joe Rogan?

  Who?

• 1:02:03Speaker 02

  I think he did it in a special.

• 1:02:04Speaker 01

  McCosker?

• 1:02:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, where it's like he went to like Iran or something with his chick and she was like, we're supposed to come here. I was like, you talk to, you let her talk to you?

• 1:02:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:11Speaker 02

  They're just like, oh, you're about to punch.

• 1:02:13Speaker 01

  He's like, I'm gonna take my babe on a nice vacation.

• 1:02:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, some guy in the neighborhood might smack her in the head for you.

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:18Joe Rogan?

  Some guy might walk by and just smack her if she's yelling at you. Hey. You know Iran is the place that has the, one of the places that has the most, uh, gender transition surgeries? No way. Yeah, you know why?

• 1:02:29Speaker 02

  Why?

• 1:02:30Joe Rogan?

  Cause you can't be gay. Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  So.

• 1:02:33Joe Rogan?

  So they just become trans.

• 1:02:35Speaker 01

  Lot of religious loopholes.

• 1:02:37Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 1:02:37Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. See if that's true. I'm pretty sure that's true.

• 1:02:40Speaker 02

  I love that moment, you say something aloud, you're like.

• 1:02:42Joe Rogan?

  Pretty sure that's true.

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  That might not be.

• 1:02:43Joe Rogan?

  I, I'm pretty sure we've actually looked it up before.

• 1:02:45Speaker 02

  And so you're not gay, you're trans, so it's so, interesting.

• 1:02:48Joe Rogan?

  But they don't allow trans. They do.

• 1:02:50Speaker 02

  They do.

• 1:02:50Joe Rogan?

  They do, you just gotta wrap it up. Ah, you gotta be convincing. Wrap it up.

• 1:02:54Speaker 02

  And drag queens.

• 1:02:55Joe Rogan?

  Cover the face. Oh, yeah, it's so easy to be trans there. Yeah, you could be a furry, that's what furries are all about. You had a hatch, you're just a hatch.

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  True.

• 1:03:03Joe Rogan?

  You pop the hatch, you're fucking a squirrel, that's what's going on.

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  Don't get me started.

• 1:03:06Joe Rogan?

  You're just a happy chipmunk banging a squirrel.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  Don't get me started on these good ideas.

• 1:03:11Joe Rogan?

  They're great ideas. Everybody just looks like a cute cartoon character. You never go eye to eye with anybody, cause they're soulless, there's no eye there. Uh, there is, uh, sex reassignment surgery is not only legal in Iran, but Tehran is considered to be an international hub for obtaining it.

• 1:03:26Speaker 02

  Guys, let's go.

• 1:03:27Joe Rogan?

  The procedure's been allowed since Ayatollah, boy, say his name.

• 1:03:30Speaker 02

  Ayatollah Khomeini.

• 1:03:31Joe Rogan?

  Khomeini, but the first, the men, the menial part, was Ruola.

• 1:03:34Speaker 02

  I've never heard that.

• 1:03:35Joe Rogan?

  Khomeini learned of the hardships of trans women and issued a religious decree to legalize it in the mid 1980s.

• 1:03:42Speaker 02

  Wow, during Ayatollah, oh, Ayatollah Khomeini's rule, that's crazy.

• 1:03:46Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, so it's illegal to be gay. But you can switch, switch genders, cause that's what's really going on. You're just, you're not really a gay man, that's impossible.

• 1:03:54Speaker 01

  Every time I read these like, uh, Muslim Sharia things, I'm like, god damn, they're the bros. It's just bro law, they're like dude, come on.

• 1:04:02Speaker 03

  They're having a good time.

• 1:04:03Joe Rogan?

  You can't be gay, but you can be a chick.

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:06Joe Rogan?

  You can be a chick. Okay, are you sure? Alright, let's go, surgery. Our guys are good at it, we've been doing it since the eighties.

• 1:04:11Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:04:12Speaker 01

  Wow, the eighties? Yeah, we use a Kirby sword, we slice your penis.

• 1:04:15Joe Rogan?

  Sash, hi, yo.

• 1:04:19Joe Rogan?

  Phew.

• 1:04:20Speaker 03

  Phew, yikes.

• 1:04:21Joe Rogan?

  By the way, everybody's-

• 1:04:21Speaker 01

  Cocked over seven.

• 1:04:23Joe Rogan?

  Everybody's cat's trans.

• 1:04:25Speaker 03

  Wait, what?

• 1:04:25Speaker 01

  No, it was his earlier.

• 1:04:26Joe Rogan?

  You have a male cat, you castrate him. Everybody does. Cause you leave him in the house, if your cat goes in the house, they'll pee all over your fucking house.

• 1:04:32Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 1:04:33Joe Rogan?

  They will mark every spot in your house.

• 1:04:35Speaker 01

  Cat games.

• 1:04:36Joe Rogan?

  You have to cut their balls off.

• 1:04:37Speaker 01

  I'm just trying to get an order to say.

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  R. Kelly.

• 1:04:40Joe Rogan?

  It's fun, it's amazing how many cats there are out there, cause every male cat gets his balls chopped off.

• 1:04:44Speaker 03

  That's true, but cat, the stray cats do all the fucking.

• 1:04:47Speaker 01

  Oh yeah.

• 1:04:47Speaker 03

  They-

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  They do a lot of fucking, Doug.

• 1:04:49Speaker 03

  Pick up the slack.

• 1:04:50Speaker 01

  They do a lot of fuck. Wow!

• 1:04:52Speaker 03

  I think cat dicks have barbs on them.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  Wow!

• 1:04:55Speaker 03

  Oh really? Cat dicks have little spikes where they go in, they can't come out.

• 1:04:59Joe Rogan?

  Did you ever see that video where the crow talks, these two cats, and they're fighting each other?

• 1:05:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. What? She's pushing at him.

• 1:05:06Joe Rogan?

  He fucks with them, he fucks with one cat, then he flies over to the other roof and fucks with the other cat.

• 1:05:09Speaker 01

  So you see what that guy's fucking saying?

• 1:05:10Joe Rogan?

  Gets them fully worked up, fully worked up, and then they fucking start duking it out, and the crow flies down. He goes down while they're scrambling, it's like, this is great.

• 1:05:19Speaker 01

  He's fucking Herb Dean.

• 1:05:19Joe Rogan?

  He loved it. He-

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  Set him up, let's go.

• 1:05:22Joe Rogan?

  Instigated it, got it to happen, and was a fucking willing participant.

• 1:05:28Speaker 03

  We should be using crows, they're so smart.

• 1:05:30Joe Rogan?

  They're crazy smart.

• 1:05:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:31Joe Rogan?

  Crazy smart.

• 1:05:32Speaker 03

  We gotta harness that.

• 1:05:33Speaker 01

  Just befriending them.

• 1:05:34Joe Rogan?

  I mean Edgar Allan Poe figured that out way back in the day.

• 1:05:38Speaker 03

  Crowbar.

• 1:05:38Joe Rogan?

  Ravens and crows, they're so fucking intelligent.

• 1:05:41Speaker 01

  He had it, Edgar Allan Poe. Crowing machine.

• 1:05:43Joe Rogan?

  Edgar Allan Poe. He starts fucking with this one cat, just get real close to him, just kinda pecking at him. Fuck up, what the fuck is wrong with you bitch?

• 1:05:52Speaker 03

  Oh shit!

• 1:05:53Joe Rogan?

  Fucking just fucking with him. Just completely riling up, pecking at him.

• 1:05:57Speaker 03

  Look at this.

• 1:05:57Joe Rogan?

  And just jumping just out of the way, he knows how fast he is, he knows how fast the cat is, like, not quick enough bitch.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  Go get that one.

• 1:06:03Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 1:06:04Joe Rogan?

  And so he gets over, he's like, fuck it up, that's cat!

• 1:06:07Joe Rogan?

  Wow. Before that, though, he went over to the other side and was fucking with that. Look at they fall off the roof.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  And then he goes down and follows him.

• 1:06:13Joe Rogan?

  Still getting after it. They don't stop when they fall thirty feet. Yeah. They're still duking it out, man. Just duking it out. And then they go down those stairs. Look at that little hole. Look, they're gonna fall down the hole. Boom! Still duking it out. Look at this. They're going after it, son. That's a fight to the death.

• 1:06:30Speaker 01

  They do love jujitsu, too. They're good from their back. They lay on their back and kick up.

• 1:06:34Joe Rogan?

  They scratch the fuck out of each other. My outdoor cat would come home and just deep scratches all over his ears. His ears are all tattered. Yikes. Ugh.

• 1:06:44Speaker 01

  That's funny. It's a funny idea.

• 1:06:46Joe Rogan?

  And if they get locked when they're having sex? They get stuck? Exactly. Barb dick.

• 1:06:50Speaker 01

  I've seen dogs do that.

• 1:06:52Joe Rogan?

  Wait, dogs what?

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  Dogs have the same thing.

• 1:06:54Speaker 03

  Locked dicks.

• 1:06:54Joe Rogan?

  Oh, really?

• 1:06:55Speaker 01

  Facing the other way, yeah.

• 1:06:56Joe Rogan?

  Pull it up. They're just stuck with a hard dick.

• 1:07:00Speaker 01

  Sounds like every one I stand.

• 1:07:02Joe Rogan?

  That's mostly...

• 1:07:02Speaker 01

  I wanna get outta here.

• 1:07:03Joe Rogan?

  Well, we're the only mammals, I think, that don't have a bone for the dick, cause otherwise we just use it constantly. Speak for yourself. Yeah. Yeah, these poor dogs.

• 1:07:12Speaker 01

  Dogs locked.

• 1:07:13Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's it. Beagles.

• 1:07:15Speaker 01

  Alright, we've reached...

• 1:07:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:18Speaker 01

  This is exactly where this podcast goes.

• 1:07:20Joe Rogan?

  I don't even know how you get them unstuck. Do you throw cold water on them? What do you do? It's like antlers. You gotta shoot it.

• 1:07:24Speaker 01

  How do they get unstuck? They gotta go back to the right position?

• 1:07:27Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you gotta wait. Oh, my god. Wait till what? You gotta wait till the dick goes soft. Yeah.

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  You gotta get them to jizz.

• 1:07:33Joe Rogan?

  But it's just a bone. That's what's crazy. Is that right? Yeah. But you see dogs fucking on the side of the road. It looks pleasant.

• 1:07:40Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. No one's ever said that before. We've all seen it, like, eh, look at that. Looks like a good time. No one's ever said, "That's pleasant." That's like a warm cup of tea.

• 1:07:47Speaker 01

  I've never seen dogs actually fucking.

• 1:07:48Joe Rogan?

  Oh, I've seen it all the time.

• 1:07:49Speaker 01

  I see it at the dog park all the time, and it's so funny, cause the owners get like, "Hey, I'm so sorry."

• 1:07:54Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:54Speaker 01

  And the dog's like, "Leave us alone."

• 1:07:56Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:07:56Speaker 01

  "We don't care."

• 1:07:57Joe Rogan?

  But you never see a dog like...

• 1:07:58Speaker 01

  The owner's like, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."

• 1:08:00Joe Rogan?

  Woo! Kinda calm, fucking.

• 1:08:02Speaker 01

  They just do it real quick and get outta there.

• 1:08:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, like a Mormon.

• 1:08:05Speaker 01

  The girl dogs aren't upset. I saw a video of this, these bulldogs fucking, and it made me actually kinda sad. Jamie, find a sad bulldogs fucking.

• 1:08:13Joe Rogan?

  What was sad about it? Just the...

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  You'll see. It's a tale as long as time.

• 1:08:17Joe Rogan?

  Fucking twisted.

• 1:08:19Speaker 01

  Just makes you feel a type of way.

• 1:08:21Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 1:08:21Speaker 01

  I don't wanna give you it. Yeah, there's a twist on this. There's a shame twist on this video.

• 1:08:26Joe Rogan?

  What happens?

• 1:08:27Speaker 01

  No, nothing that bad. It's just, you know.

• 1:08:30Joe Rogan?

  Ooh. Oh, baby.

• 1:08:33Joe Rogan?

  What went wrong with this bulldog?

• 1:08:35Speaker 01

  Nothing, it's just a guy, it's a guy dog trying to talk to a girl and then another guy comes in and he's like, "What's up?" And they run off.

• 1:08:40Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 1:08:41Speaker 01

  And then the camera pans over and they're fucking again and then goes back to the bulldog and then sit there and he's like...

• 1:08:45Speaker 03

  Oh, I've been there.

• 1:08:47Speaker 01

  Damn it, yeah, we've all been there.

• 1:08:48Speaker 03

  That's the worst.

• 1:08:49Speaker 01

  So if Jamo was quicker, Bulldog's fucking sad.

• 1:08:52Speaker 03

  Jamo's losing.

• 1:08:53Speaker 01

  I thought he was gonna nail that.

• 1:08:54Speaker 02

  Jamo's losing, he's all, he's a...

• 1:08:55Joe Rogan?

  He has a different algorithm than you.

• 1:08:56Speaker 05

  No, he started describing a different thing.

• 1:08:58Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:08:59Speaker 05

  We were talking about dogs stuck together, so I'm looking for two dogs stuck together and I said it was a third dog.

• 1:09:04Speaker 03

  Guy gets one velvet suit.

• 1:09:05Speaker 01

  Three way, yeah.

• 1:09:05Speaker 03

  Talking back.

• 1:09:06Speaker 01

  You ever see a lady fuck a dog on the internet?

• 1:09:08Joe Rogan?

  I did.

• 1:09:09Speaker 01

  I did.

• 1:09:09Joe Rogan?

  I saw one on a VHS tape when I was eighteen.

• 1:09:11Speaker 03

  Me too.

• 1:09:12Speaker 01

  Really does something.

• 1:09:13Speaker 03

  Best day of my life.

• 1:09:14Joe Rogan?

  It was a German shepherd, this lady was fucking a German shepherd.

• 1:09:17Speaker 01

  It's always a goddamn German shepherd.

• 1:09:18Joe Rogan?

  Why is this?

• 1:09:18Speaker 03

  Always.

• 1:09:19Speaker 02

  I saw two guys getting in a fight, Jim Painter and Carbone, and um, they were watching a dog, we were all watching a dog fucking a chick, and Jim was like, "She has nice tits." And, and Pete Carbone was like, "What the, she's getting fucked by a dog!" And he's like, "That has nothing to do with the tits! The tits are nice! What's that have to do with it?"

• 1:09:35Speaker 01

  I'm glad they had that argument, that's everybody's internal...

• 1:09:37Joe Rogan?

  They really had an argument about it?

• 1:09:38Speaker 01

  About whether her tits were nice or not.

• 1:09:39Joe Rogan?

  Pete's that fucked up about it, he needs to leave the room.

• 1:09:42Speaker 01

  No, I had that fight in my head when I saw it.

• 1:09:44Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 1:09:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, two sides of me were going, "What the fuck are you watching? This is disgusting, that lady should be put down." And then the other side of me is going, "It's fucking nice."

• 1:09:54Speaker 03

  Same with chick with dick, you're like, eh, good tits, you know, but the balls are a problem, but uh...

• 1:10:00Joe Rogan?

  Some guys get to a point where that's the only thing that turns them on.

• 1:10:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, been there.

• 1:10:04Joe Rogan?

  Big tits and a hard on, let's go.

• 1:10:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, best of both worlds.

• 1:10:08Joe Rogan?

  Get crazy.

• 1:10:09Speaker 01

  Tough thing to be locked in.

• 1:10:10Joe Rogan?

  Plus you want someone who never says no, you want someone who wants it all the time. Yeah, you want, "Oh, you wanna fuck? Okay."

• 1:10:15Speaker 01

  The Ayatollah was into it.

• 1:10:17Joe Rogan?

  Apparently.

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  Apparently, yeah, he's like, "I have a religious decree, dude, trans is fucking sick."

• 1:10:23Joe Rogan?

  Let me be the first to try them.

• 1:10:25Speaker 03

  Buy a dollar.

• 1:10:26Joe Rogan?

  Wah!

• 1:10:28Speaker 02

  Not bad.

• 1:10:29Joe Rogan?

  Wah! Not bad, not bad.

• 1:10:31Speaker 01

  Alright, the bulldog video is not good enough for us to take this time.

• 1:10:34Speaker 03

  I guess so.

• 1:10:36Joe Rogan?

  It's falling out of favor.

• 1:10:37Speaker 02

  I think Jamie's not looking it up because he's still worried about that money he owes him.

• 1:10:40Speaker 03

  Oh!

• 1:10:41Joe Rogan?

  Oh!

• 1:10:43Speaker 03

  Shit!

• 1:10:44Speaker 01

  What are you talking about?

• 1:10:45Joe Rogan?

  Not the old debt.

• 1:10:46Speaker 02

  Oh, I thought you guys better than that for a chip cam.

• 1:10:48Speaker 01

  He owes me more money.

• 1:10:51Speaker 01

  He owes me money for what? No, no, no. I saved you.

• 1:10:55Joe Rogan?

  It's back.

• 1:10:56Speaker 02

  Leave it to the Jew to bring up the debt. That debt is owed. That debt is owed.

• 1:11:02Speaker 01

  I definitely paid him the debt back. I flew him back from the game. He brought confetti onto the fucking flight.

• 1:11:07Joe Rogan?

  Sorry, I was telling someone the other day about how when you were a struggling comic, you would make a living going to those poker tournaments.

• 1:11:15Speaker 02

  If he wasn't calm, he wasn't paying.

• 1:11:16Joe Rogan?

  He was making a living playing poker.

• 1:11:18Speaker 02

  Was this a year ago?

• 1:11:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, the drunk Mexicans on Fridays. Just steal money off them on paydays. Mexicans. They would just go all in with the jackpots.

• 1:11:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. You didn't have to get so descriptive.

• 1:11:32Speaker 02

  You gotta know, oh, it was great.

• 1:11:34Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I remember you, like, that was how you were making a living. It was crazy. I was like, I don't think I've ever met anybody who, like, reasonably approached gambling. Like, this is how I'm gonna, like, use this as a job. You're the first guy that I ever met that, like, used poker as, like, you played it professionally. Like, you were, you were intelligent about it.

• 1:11:53Speaker 02

  It's the mathematicians. My math wasn't great. Like, these other guys are crazy. They know the exact number. But mine, compared to just a regular, I was, I was pretty good.

• 1:12:01Speaker 01

  And you took all the money from the poor drunk Mexicans?

• 1:12:03Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 1:12:04Speaker 01

  You really are a Jew.

• 1:12:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:05Speaker 01

  Taxes. That wasn't even funny enough for that.

• 1:12:08Speaker 02

  But, uh...

• 1:12:09Joe Rogan?

  That was gonna get you in trouble.

• 1:12:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's an equalizer. You played with the fucking owner of the Lakers, didn't know what was gonna become, and then, like, Jose Canseco was there, but you're all equal. Tournament. You're all buying for the same. And then I just started smoking weed. Like, at the time, we really had, so I could, like, see through people when I was high. Ooh.

• 1:12:27Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 1:12:27Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:12:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah, you see something, right?

• 1:12:29Speaker 02

  You're just like, got it.

• 1:12:32Speaker 01

  That's nice.

• 1:12:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was nice. What happens if you never won? You gotta pay the rent. Uh, well, I played with the bank. Oh, jeez. So, like, whatever I had already won a little bit, it's like you're just playing out of there. And so, when you, when you, like, win big, you see all these, like, guys kinda looking at you as you're going to cash in, and you're just like, uh, can you keep this money here for me for next time? Like, yeah, I'm like, okay. I'm gonna walk to my car. They trail you all the time. They trail you, pull you over six blocks out.

• 1:12:58Joe Rogan?

  A hundred percent, a hundred percent.

• 1:13:00Speaker 02

  You're leaving with twelve thousand dollars on a fucking second-place victory at fucking Hustler Casino or Hollywood Park.

• 1:13:18Speaker 06

  The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Weeping, November 20th, rated PG-13.

• 1:13:21Speaker 07

  Bonjour, compadre. It's the

• 1:13:23Speaker 06

  Priceline Negotiator.

• 1:13:25Speaker 07

  How do I negotiate so many great travel deals? My greatest gadget, the Priceline app. It's got hotel deals, flight deals, rental car deals, all of those deals in a bundle. Deals, game day deals, concert trip deals. No one deals more deals than Priceline. Hold your horses, there's more. The app lets you filter hotels by neighborhood, vibe, star level, and amenities like pools and spas and beachfronts. Wait, I'm not done. Stop cutting me off.

• 1:13:51Joe Rogan?

  Man, so slick.

• 1:13:53Speaker 02

  That's a really, that's a better idea than being good at poker.

• 1:13:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:56Speaker 02

  Just get a gun.

• 1:13:57Speaker 01

  Just follow some

• 1:13:58Speaker 02

  You wanna go, alright.

• 1:13:59Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:14:00Speaker 02

  That's easy.

• 1:14:01Joe Rogan?

  So glutton over the gambling addiction.

• 1:14:03Speaker 02

  Shady times.

• 1:14:03Joe Rogan?

  It's a scary addiction. That'll fuck your life up.

• 1:14:06Speaker 02

  And it's, uh...

• 1:14:06Joe Rogan?

  I don't either.

• 1:14:07Speaker 02

  It's fun to gamble on sports a little.

• 1:14:10Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:12Speaker 02

  But I don't have the, I don't chase it ever.

• 1:14:14Joe Rogan?

  For some people, it's like a thrill, and there's nothing else in their life that gives them a thrill.

• 1:14:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:20Joe Rogan?

  They got a job, the job sucks, they got a family they don't like, and they, they go out and they fucking risk it all. Yeah. Risk it all, they're fucking shaking, and they can't wait to do it again.

• 1:14:31Speaker 02

  We'd play, we'd, we'd, we'd go after spots, and then we'd go like midnight one, go down there, and then if you played for like five hours, you're alright, leave. If you, if it's seven, you're like, hey, it's rush hour. That means you gotta play for 10. You gotta miss rush hour to get back. You'd just be there forever.

• 1:14:47Joe Rogan?

  Damn. Yeah, and it's a 24-hour-a-day deal.

• 1:14:49Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, there's no windows.

• 1:14:51Joe Rogan?

  No windows.

• 1:14:52Speaker 02

  There, it's just like

• 1:14:53Joe Rogan?

  It's like this.

• 1:14:54Speaker 02

  Different world of people, too, real degenerates.

• 1:14:56Joe Rogan?

  Sitting around with sunglasses, drinking.

• 1:14:57Speaker 02

  Yeah. Same as the pool hall people.

• 1:14:59Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:14:59Speaker 02

  Probably those are worse, probably.

• 1:15:01Joe Rogan?

  Same humans.

• 1:15:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:15:02Joe Rogan?

  Same hu, at least the pool hall people have some skill.

• 1:15:05Speaker 02

  You get to know each other.

• 1:15:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:07Speaker 02

  Like, oh, you're regulars, you talk all the ti, and it's just like, we're all trying to steal money from each other.

• 1:15:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:13Speaker 02

  So we're like enemies, but like, we're being friendly.

• 1:15:15Joe Rogan?

  That was pool hall banter. Those are all guys who were like trying to rob other guys. Like, I can't play you even. I need the eight ball. And they'd be sitting around talking forever. Everyone's got a gambling addiction. It's like, who can hold out the longest? Mm-hmm. You know, it's like two guys with a boner, like, ah, we can't fuck yet. Come on, ah, what's fuck? No, no, no, not yet. And like, hold off to try to get a better deal.

• 1:15:37Speaker 01

  And you were in there. You're... That was, that was funny when we were in the car and we were talking about you playing pool all the time and you were, he was just like, "I'm a psycho."

• 1:15:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's a psycho. We'd go out to shows, they'd be like, "Let's go play pool." It's like something to do, you know, after a show.

• 1:15:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:50Speaker 02

  Something, "Okay, cool, an hour or two?" Seven. You know, some point, he's like, "Joe, can we please get out of here?"

• 1:15:56Joe Rogan?

  I have a problem. Really? I got a lot of problems. It's good problems.

• 1:16:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's not a, that's not a good one.

• 1:16:01Joe Rogan?

  Like, I smoke crack. It's like, I, I, my problem is when I lock on something, like, time goes away.

• 1:16:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can catch heroin, you can catch fishing.

• 1:16:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:09Speaker 02

  That's, that's a better one. Pool is a better one.

• 1:16:11Joe Rogan?

  Pool's a better one. Pool's a good one, because you can only do it physically for so long. Whereas vi- video games, you can play video games 12 hours in a row. That's true. No problem. Oh, you're just doing sitting.

• 1:16:21Speaker 02

  Keeps you up.

• 1:16:22Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, drink Mountain Dew, it keeps you totally dialed in. Yeah. You got explosions going off in your ear, you're gunning folks down. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. You're running down hallways.

• 1:16:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, all right, one more level, one more level. And then it's four hours past.

• 1:16:34Joe Rogan?

  Why am I going to bed? Got the headset on, I call a guy in Mumbai a fag. Yeah. You need a job in the morning that you have to get up for, otherwise you're just...

• 1:16:41Speaker 02

  I had a call duty problem.

• 1:16:42Speaker 01

  Or a girlfriend.

• 1:16:42Joe Rogan?

  Or a girlfriend that gets mad at you. Yeah.

• 1:16:44Speaker 02

  That walks out, you're wearing a headphone.

• 1:16:45Joe Rogan?

  Are you fucking serious? It's four in the morning. Yeah. Come to bed.

• 1:16:49Speaker 02

  I had a call duty problem, was I had oversleep spots. You go to sleep at like, 4:00 PM. You know, just like, up, up, up, and then you're like, "Oh, fuck, I missed my spot because I was sleeping."

• 1:16:58Joe Rogan?

  Man, you lived a lot of lives. Dude, they're gonna put a fucking helmet on you one day. And are you prepared to engage? Oh, that's coming. Yes. You're gonna be in the world, like, fully in the world, bombs going off, you're running down a dirty street, hoping that this is not real life, that if you die, you're gonna respawn.

• 1:17:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:21Speaker 02

  It's Westworld.

• 1:17:21Joe Rogan?

  Bullets are flying by, breaking the bricks behind your head. All that shit's, yeah, Westworld. But, Westworld, you could die.

• 1:17:29Speaker 02

  You could die, but the people didn't know that they were robots. They thought they were in the game, but they were, like, who am I?

• 1:17:34Joe Rogan?

  That's gonna happen, man.

• 1:17:36Speaker 02

  We're all ones and zeros. We've been, we've been in the AI for a long time. You didn't hear that?

• 1:17:39Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, we've, we're in the simulation.

• 1:17:41Speaker 02

  We're in the, yeah.

• 1:17:42Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 1:17:43Joe Rogan?

  I'm kinda willing to believe that.

• 1:17:44Speaker 02

  Humanity ended hundreds of years ago, but they mined us for our info, so they keep us going.

• 1:17:48Joe Rogan?

  Well, this is just what reality is. I think we have a version of reality that's not real. The real reality is, we're in a, we're in a gigantic computer simulation.

• 1:17:56Speaker 03

  Damn, I couldn't have gotten a bigger dick.

• 1:17:58Joe Rogan?

  Nope, that's what you get, if you want that sense of humor.

• 1:18:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, what happened, Sim?

• 1:18:02Joe Rogan?

  Want that sense of humor?

• 1:18:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, make the average eight.

• 1:18:05Joe Rogan?

  It is kinda crazy that they've come up with so many medications, not one to grow a dick.

• 1:18:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:18:12Joe Rogan?

  There's probably a bunch of guys that don't want it, but you can't give them big dicks. Cause if you give them big dicks, if it's like, only like, a couple hundred bucks. Yeah, society will shut down.

• 1:18:19Speaker 02

  The pussies will have to catch up. Eventually, you got pussies so big, they'll flop down to freedom.

• 1:18:24Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, flying squirrel pussy people, remember that bit? That's sort of in the name of the special. That's old school, right? That was old school.

• 1:18:32Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's a weird thing.

• 1:18:33Speaker 02

  Pushing a dick around in a shopping cart.

• 1:18:34Joe Rogan?

  If you have, that's what a lot of people thought, like, the war on steroids was, like, you're trying to stop people from getting just massive.

• 1:18:41Speaker 03

  That's why, that's why China's so angry. Those little dicks are pissing them off.

• 1:18:46Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, dude, they're using CRISPR now. I bet they've got giant dicks, we just haven't seen them yet.

• 1:18:50Speaker 03

  What's CRISPR?

• 1:18:51Speaker 02

  What's CRISPR?

• 1:18:52Joe Rogan?

  Genetic engineering. They're editing people's genes.

• 1:18:55Speaker 02

  That's the number, that's the number one thing you'd go, like, give my son a big dick, let's see what.

• 1:18:58Joe Rogan?

  Give a big dick super brain. They, they supposedly inoculated these kids from HIV, they kept them from getting HIV, but in the process, made them more intelligent. Like, dude, I know what you're doing, you're making them more intelligent.

• 1:19:10Speaker 02

  Oh, oopsie, we also made them way more intelligent.

• 1:19:12Joe Rogan?

  They're like, you're not supposed to do that, so they put the guy in jail for a couple of years, now he's back, kicking ass again. He was like their top dude, their top genetic guy. Like, yeah, you're gonna be in jail, and in jail, you get millions of dollars in hookers. In jail, you get your dick sucked every day, and you're eating roast beef.

• 1:19:29Speaker 03

  Fucking jail.

• 1:19:29Joe Rogan?

  In jail, you're a bad boy, you did a good job, good job.

• 1:19:34Speaker 03

  Hear me out here, maybe this is the, the shrooms talking. But, uh, I think the dick size you have makes you who you are.

• 1:19:43Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 1:19:44Speaker 03

  Cause you gotta overcome.

• 1:19:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:19:45Joe Rogan?

  Tell us that lady was beating up on chicks in the Olympics.

• 1:19:47Speaker 03

  Alright.

• 1:19:48Speaker 02

  How big was the tiny dick?

• 1:19:50Joe Rogan?

  I dunno.

• 1:19:50Speaker 03

  Ahah!

• 1:19:51Speaker 01

  That was a tiny dick. That's a tiny dick move is to become great.

• 1:19:54Speaker 03

  Exactly!

• 1:19:54Joe Rogan?

  To beat up women.

• 1:19:55Speaker 03

  Kevin Hart syndrome.

• 1:19:56Speaker 01

  Tiny dick.

• 1:19:57Joe Rogan?

  Oh, how dare you.

• 1:19:58Speaker 02

  I can't beat up men because I'll go, "Don't you have a small dick?" You're like, "Damn it, good point." And they leave, find a woman to beat up.

• 1:20:04Speaker 03

  Mmm, boy. I'm telling ya, you gotta work with what you got.

• 1:20:07Speaker 01

  You gotta, if you have the choice through CRISPR, how big your son's dick's gonna be, you gotta give him a medium.

• 1:20:14Speaker 03

  Medium!

• 1:20:14Speaker 02

  What do you choose?

• 1:20:15Speaker 01

  You can't go crazy.

• 1:20:16Speaker 02

  Six and a half, seven?

• 1:20:17Speaker 01

  He'll dominate your house.

• 1:20:18Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, 12 inch dick.

• 1:20:19Speaker 01

  What'd you say to me?

• 1:20:20Joe Rogan?

  15 year old, 12 inch dick.

• 1:20:21Speaker 01

  He'll supplant you. I said, "Clean your room!"

• 1:20:23Joe Rogan?

  I paid for that dick, son!

• 1:20:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I gave you that dick, you motherfucker.

• 1:20:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, you created a monster.

• 1:20:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:30Joe Rogan?

  Well, having a son is probably a lot like having a wild dog. Where you have to like, train him, get him exercising every day, like wear him out, get him calm.

• 1:20:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:40Joe Rogan?

  Realize like, "Hey fella, I know you're ready to go all the time. Guess what we gotta do? We gotta burn that out of you every day so you be a good citizen."

• 1:20:47Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:20:48Joe Rogan?

  Okay? But if you're just fucking not paying attention.

• 1:20:50Speaker 03

  Then they'll shoot you.

• 1:20:51Joe Rogan?

  And you got a wild teenager.

• 1:20:52Speaker 01

  They'll shoot you to school.

• 1:20:53Speaker 02

  It must be crazy. Yeah, if you have a son, you just have to get him to not shoot up, or, or rape until they understand why both of them are wrong.

• 1:21:00Speaker 01

  Has there been a jacked school shooter?

• 1:21:02Speaker 03

  Never, of course not.

• 1:21:03Joe Rogan?

  Not one.

• 1:21:04Speaker 03

  They don't need it.

• 1:21:04Joe Rogan?

  Has there ever been one that's not on medication? Not one.

• 1:21:07Speaker 03

  Although-

• 1:21:07Speaker 02

  Every school shooter looks like Michael Moore.

• 1:21:09Speaker 03

  Thomas Matthew Crook's had a huge hog.

• 1:21:11Joe Rogan?

  Who's that?

• 1:21:11Speaker 02

  Who's that?

• 1:21:12Speaker 03

  The guy who shot Trump.

• 1:21:13Joe Rogan?

  Did he?

• 1:21:14Speaker 03

  Huge hog! The kid?

• 1:21:17Speaker 01

  I can see it. Every one of those guys-

• 1:21:18Joe Rogan?

  The 20 year old kid?

• 1:21:19Speaker 03

  Yeah!

• 1:21:20Joe Rogan?

  How do you know he had a huge hog?

• 1:21:21Speaker 03

  Oh, it's all over the, uh, the 4chan.

• 1:21:23Speaker 01

  Sucked him off on the roof.

• 1:21:26Speaker 02

  That's why he couldn't get away.

• 1:21:28Joe Rogan?

  Hey, wait a minute. Don't hurt a shot, but hold on.

• 1:21:31Speaker 03

  He didn't miss my mouth.

• 1:21:33Speaker 01

  I will say-

• 1:21:34Joe Rogan?

  I didn't miss my mouth.

• 1:21:35Speaker 02

  It was like those two had those locks on, and Robert's like, "Don't get away."

• 1:21:38Speaker 01

  The school shooters do have giant dick builds, though.

• 1:21:41Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, skinny.

• 1:21:42Speaker 01

  They're all tall, skinny, weird guys.

• 1:21:44Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:45Speaker 01

  Alien bodies.

• 1:21:45Joe Rogan?

  Bro, there's this guy who was a, he was a professor of mathematics at MIT. And I did taekwondo with him. I don't want to say his name, but if I tell you his name, it's even more hilarious. And this guy had a donkey dick. Really? And everybody, everybody would like change in the locker room. It would change. We'd be like, what the fuck? Really? He's like this really kind of uncoordinated, like crazy hair. He had the Jew fro, the whole deal. He had a dick that was like a solid limp nine inches. What? It was a giant dick with giant balls. And everybody would see it and be like, what the fuck? And his wife never left his side. She just like, she was protecting that diamond. She had that diamond dick everywhere she went. It was really like a dog with a bone.

• 1:22:26Joe Rogan?

  She was always there at every training session. She would travel with him to tournaments. She wasn't going nowhere. Did the dick ever hit you on the mat? You're like, Jesus. No, it was taekwondo. You had to wear a cup. You were in a cup. It's all tucked away. Could you call it out at the locker room? Could you go, Jesus, Harry? No, it's the one thing you didn't talk about. You wear cups for jujitsu? Yes, I do.

• 1:22:46Speaker 01

  I gotta wear a pitcher.

• 1:22:47Joe Rogan?

  You need to easily. Some guys don't. Some guys don't, but you get, I got kneed in the balls too many times. Great.

• 1:22:51Speaker 01

  Thanks, man.

• 1:22:52Joe Rogan?

  A pitcher.

• 1:22:54Speaker 01

  It is funny. It's very funny when you see one of your buddies has a huge dick.

• 1:22:58Joe Rogan?

  It's weird. Changes the dynamic.

• 1:23:00Speaker 01

  And people with huge dicks don't like talking about it.

• 1:23:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:23:03Speaker 01

  You ever make fun of a guy for having a big dick?

• 1:23:05Joe Rogan?

  Big dick embarrassment. They're weird.

• 1:23:06Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 1:23:07Joe Rogan?

  Like you with your shoulders. Bro, you're getting jacked.

• 1:23:10Speaker 01

  Not a big deal. Shut the fuck up.

• 1:23:11Joe Rogan?

  You're getting jacked. Yeah, the huge dong is a game changer. It's like when you see your friend playing the piano. You're like, where'd this come from?

• 1:23:17Speaker 01

  Holy shit.

• 1:23:18Joe Rogan?

  You tapped it? It's a weird skill to have.

• 1:23:21Speaker 01

  Piano?

• 1:23:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, when someone sits down, all of a sudden they can play and you're like, you never told me?

• 1:23:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:25Joe Rogan?

  It's funny to see any friend who has a skill. Hinchcliffe can play piano. Come on!

• 1:23:29Speaker 01

  And drums. Fucking checks out.

• 1:23:30Joe Rogan?

  And drums. Piano checks out. Drums is not. But he sits down and just start playing piano. You're like, where'd this come from? Plays a skin flute.

• 1:23:38Speaker 01

  That's a trombone, the old rusty trombone. Oh, yeah.

• 1:23:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, the extracurricular skills off stand up is interesting. Bobby Lee can dance well and skate.

• 1:23:49Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:23:50Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:23:51Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:23:51Joe Rogan?

  I bet he plays a fuck out of some video games.

• 1:23:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, and some math.

• 1:23:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, certain guys can do other sports. Andy Haynes can shred on skis.

• 1:24:00Speaker 01

  Right. Yeah.

• 1:24:01Speaker 02

  There's certain guys that are just like, what's this other thing?

• 1:24:03Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:24:04Speaker 01

  O'Connor was D1 lacrosse. Wow.

• 1:24:07Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 1:24:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:08Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 1:24:09Speaker 01

  Man, Penn State? Uh, Drexel. Nice. You were thinking Duke.

• 1:24:15Speaker 01

  That's so impressive. I got my, uh, rags mixed up.

• 1:24:17Joe Rogan?

  Michael Costa. Michael Costa, professional tennis player.

• 1:24:21Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 1:24:21Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:24:21Joe Rogan?

  He was like a really good tennis player.

• 1:24:23Speaker 02

  Twelve hundredth in the world. Which doesn't sound good, but it's pretty good.

• 1:24:27Joe Rogan?

  It's pretty good.

• 1:24:27Speaker 01

  How about Boss being like a karate guy? Oh, that was a golfer. Did you see those pictures?

• 1:24:31Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 1:24:32Speaker 01

  No. He's a golf guy. He has like, it was like right when he started doing crack.

• 1:24:36Joe Rogan?

  Oh, Jeff Ross.

• 1:24:37Speaker 01

  No, Boss.

• 1:24:38Joe Rogan?

  Oh, Jeff Ross is a black belt in Taekwondo.

• 1:24:40Speaker 01

  Shit, I would never have guessed that.

• 1:24:44Speaker 02

  It's like there's people that can like do something, like what?

• 1:24:46Speaker 01

  Boss has a photo of him throwing a kick with, he's got a Jerry curl. Oh, that's right. And he just got addicted to fucking crack. And he was doing karate. Let me see his form.

• 1:24:56Speaker 02

  Remember he kicked that guy?

• 1:24:56Speaker 01

  No, it's fucking, it's good. Let me see his form. See if you can find the photo, Jay.

• 1:25:00Speaker 02

  Do you hear about kicking that guy? Some guy, some young comic was trying to like get in with him and like be cool and he was making fun of his kid. Just too familiar.

• 1:25:06Speaker 01

  Jason Kaner.

• 1:25:09Speaker 01

  I was gonna say. Oh, sorry. He doesn't care. He doesn't care.

• 1:25:12Speaker 02

  And he just kicked him. Boss just kicked him.

• 1:25:13Joe Rogan?

  Broke his ribs.

• 1:25:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:15Speaker 01

  Boss fucking rules.

• 1:25:15Speaker 02

  Broke his ribs. He was like, actually nah, Jason, nah, just broke a rib.

• 1:25:21Joe Rogan?

  Oh, Jesus Christ.

• 1:25:22Speaker 01

  His drug stories. Horse kicked him like that.

• 1:25:25Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 1:25:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, at the Carolines Christmas party. Fucking front kicked him at a Christmas party.

• 1:25:30Joe Rogan?

  What the fuck?

• 1:25:31Speaker 02

  I think I heard Jason was like, no, I was out of line.

• 1:25:33Speaker 01

  He was.

• 1:25:33Joe Rogan?

  What year was this? What year was this?

• 1:25:35Speaker 01

  Two thousand nine.

• 1:25:36Joe Rogan?

  Wow, that's a risky time. Risky time to be front kicking people. The internet existed.

• 1:25:41Speaker 01

  True.

• 1:25:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:44Joe Rogan?

  You could front kick people in the eighties.

• 1:25:46Speaker 02

  Easily.

• 1:25:48Joe Rogan?

  No one's gonna believe you. You got any DNA? You got nothing. What do you got? You got a story?

• 1:25:54Speaker 02

  Barclay threw a guy through a window.

• 1:25:56Joe Rogan?

  It was wild.

• 1:25:57Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:25:57Joe Rogan?

  Nobody knew anything. What's up?

• 1:25:58Speaker 02

  Barclay threw a guy through a window at a bar.

• 1:26:00Joe Rogan?

  What? Charles?

• 1:26:01Speaker 02

  But there's no video. He could just do it.

• 1:26:03Joe Rogan?

  Whoa. Threw a guy through a window is dangerous. Bro, that's how people die.

• 1:26:08Speaker 02

  I loved it too.

• 1:26:09Joe Rogan?

  Cut your neck, glass, oh.

• 1:26:11Speaker 01

  I mean, the way he died, he was talking shit to fucking Charles Barkley.

• 1:26:13Joe Rogan?

  Charles Barkley, yeah. Giant super.

• 1:26:16Speaker 02

  I might be six five, but I rebound like six nine. So quiet.

• 1:26:19Speaker 03

  He's a funny guy.

• 1:26:20Joe Rogan?

  Also, if that guy fucking punches you, oh my god. You get punched by an NBA player? If you're gonna bother me, I'm gonna whip your ass. Charles Barkley threw a man through a glass window.

• 1:26:28Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 1:26:30Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:26:31Joe Rogan?

  Wow. That, imagine, like, you're just some dummy who just thinks you could just talk shit to a guy forever, and then this three hundred pound giant man just.

• 1:26:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26:41Joe Rogan?

  The fuck out of here. Throws you away like you're. You're a cushion on a couch. He just chucks you.

• 1:26:48Speaker 03

  It's like the guy on the flight who tried to fuck with Tyson.

• 1:26:51Joe Rogan?

  Tyson, yeah.

• 1:26:52Speaker 01

  Well, that's wonderful.

• 1:26:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. There's dudes out there.

• 1:26:56Speaker 01

  Sitting back and watching Chuck, or Charles Barkley become like the coolest guy of all time.

• 1:27:01Speaker 03

  So funny.

• 1:27:02Speaker 01

  That guy, that guy's sitting there like, I bothered him once at a bar and he threw me through a window. I hated him my whole life. And then you watch him on TV, like, fuck, he's the coolest guy.

• 1:27:10Speaker 02

  He's so cool, funny.

• 1:27:11Speaker 01

  Literally the coolest guy.

• 1:27:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:13Speaker 02

  I love when he, he was gonna do the play by play or color, whatever, for, um.

• 1:27:17Speaker 03

  Easy.

• 1:27:18Speaker 02

  L I V. The colored comment. For a live golf. And they were like, well, that's evil. He goes, where'd you get your money from? Don't you all do like iPhone ads? Like, let's easy on the judgment.

• 1:27:30Speaker 01

  That's an interesting Charles Barkley.

• 1:27:33Speaker 01

  That's an interesting.

• 1:27:34Joe Rogan?

  It wasn't the best.

• 1:27:35Speaker 01

  Where'd you get your money, bro?

• 1:27:37Speaker 03

  From a Karl Malone.

• 1:27:38Joe Rogan?

  Wasn't the best impression.

• 1:27:41Speaker 02

  Kimon is the best.

• 1:27:41Joe Rogan?

  This is a pretty crazy story. He said, the guy says, "You're not gonna do shit. You're nothing but a big ass pussy." The taunt set Barclay off. The cops were already here at this point. William reached for his radio to call for backup. Oh, the cop. That's the cop. According to the police report. Oh, my god. As he released his grip, he felt Lugo escape, except the 20-year-old hadn't gotten away. "I felt victim from being pulled, I felt the victim being pulled from my grasp," Williams wrote in the account of the incident. "I looked up and I saw Barclay holding the victim up in the air by his arms." Wow. Oh, god.

• 1:28:12Speaker 02

  What did he say to precede that? Flung him like he was a toy.

• 1:28:15Joe Rogan?

  He says, "Do you know who the fuck I am? Do you know who the fuck I am?" In a matter of seconds, Charles chucked Lugo through the plate glass window. Oh, my god. Even if he don't know who he is, he's 6'9". Flung him like he was a toy. Flung him like he was a toy. Right before this too, he had, the cops told him not to go up to him. He's like, "I'm just gonna talk to him. I don't wanna, I won't hurt him. I just wanna talk to him." "I won't hurt him," Charles assured the officer. "I just wanna talk to him." Oh, my god.

• 1:28:40Speaker 02

  I just wanna say, and the officer's like, "Okay, you can just talk to him, within arms' reach."

• 1:28:44Joe Rogan?

  And the guy says, "You're not gonna do shit. You're nothing but a big ass pussy."

• 1:28:50Joe Rogan?

  Bro, there's people like that out there in the world, you know?

• 1:28:53Speaker 02

  So funny, you're like, "You're rich." And like, "I wasn't raised rich." So, that's who I am.

• 1:28:57Joe Rogan?

  You guys have seen the video of Joe Schilling knocking that guy out in the bar? No, pull it up. Oh, my god. So, there's this asshole at a bar. He's being rude, and apparently, he was being rude all night, and Joe Schilling, who's a multiple-time world champion kickboxer, walks by this guy, and the guy like, tries to like, make him flinch, and Joe just goes, "Da-da-da!" Watch this. So, there's this guy, you know, drinking, having a good time, being an asshole, talking about beating somebody in arm wrestling, or whatever, and Joe just is behind him, and he just touches him, you know, nothing, and then he says something to him. He turns around. Oh, that was quick. Yeah. Well, he's a world champion kickboxer. You can't flinch on a guy. That guy's trained.

• 1:29:38Speaker 02

  He was out of his, he was walking, he delayed himself four seconds.

• 1:29:41Joe Rogan?

  I don't think it was four. I don't think it's four. I mean, he knew the guy was out. Like, look.

• 1:29:46Speaker 02

  Okay, here, one.

• 1:29:47Joe Rogan?

  He just, he just passes by and he calls him back. Oh, that's step forward. The step forward with the chin up in the air. It was like, you can't do that to a guy like that.

• 1:29:57Speaker 02

  He comes at him with like, you want them? It's okay.

• 1:29:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, like, what?

• 1:30:01Speaker 02

  That's scary, because that could happen to them.

• 1:30:03Joe Rogan?

  Anybody. So he had to go to court.

• 1:30:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:30:06Joe Rogan?

  He had to go to court for that, and he won.

• 1:30:08Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:30:09Joe Rogan?

  Because it's Florida. It's Florida. It's like, stand your ground.

• 1:30:12Speaker 02

  Florida does rule.

• 1:30:13Joe Rogan?

  They have some good rules. I love Florida.

• 1:30:14Speaker 02

  What was that medicine they give you during COVID? I forgot the name of it.

• 1:30:17Joe Rogan?

  Ivermectin.

• 1:30:18Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no. The treatment.

• 1:30:20Joe Rogan?

  Monoclonal antibodies?

• 1:30:21Speaker 02

  That. Yeah, that's what I was trying to remember.

• 1:30:23Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they banned that in a lot of places. They stopped people from getting that. I had a whole podcast about it. Yeah, you got it. I got it to a lot of people.

• 1:30:30Speaker 02

  When I was down there, you were like, oh, they got you in Florida. Okay, cool, do this.

• 1:30:33Joe Rogan?

  There's places they wouldn't give it to you. They restricted it. Florida was pretty good during the pandemic. No, it was great. They were a good place to go. Did a lot of comedy there. That's where I caught COVID.

• 1:30:43Speaker 02

  That's where I got it too.

• 1:30:48Joe Rogan?

  Thank God you got rid of that. Yeah, a lot of your people down there.

• 1:30:52Speaker 02

  Jews?

• 1:30:53Joe Rogan?

  Olds.

• 1:30:53Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. They don't come to shows.

• 1:30:55Joe Rogan?

  They like to relax. Go to Miami and relax. That's true. A place built on cocaine. Imagine.

• 1:31:02Speaker 02

  Cocaine, Jews, trannies.

• 1:31:04Joe Rogan?

  And Hulk Hogan, Carole Baskin, Scientology. Rented Lamborghinis. Yeah.

• 1:31:10Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:31:11Joe Rogan?

  A lot of rented Lamborghinis. A lot of people frightened.

• 1:31:13Speaker 02

  We got to the store, somebody pulled up in a limousine. It was a door guy. And I was like, oh, who's this? And the manager's already been jaded. He goes, somebody with fifty dollars.

• 1:31:23Joe Rogan?

  Already jaded? The jaded guy. When I got there, Harris Pete was the most jaded guy of all time.

• 1:31:28Speaker 02

  Maybe of all time.

• 1:31:29Joe Rogan?

  Of all time. He had been through all the eras, and he was like, you gotta impress the shit out of Harris Pete.

• 1:31:34Speaker 02

  Made a deal with, the rumor was, Leno and Letterman said, hey, all three of us, whoever makes it will take care of the other ones.

• 1:31:39Joe Rogan?

  Really? Does that sound like a deal you would make?

• 1:31:42Speaker 02

  Sounds like a deal you'd make one night while you're drinking, not a real deal.

• 1:31:46Joe Rogan?

  We're all gonna, we're all in this together.

• 1:31:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. The guy, the guy who kinda sucks.

• 1:31:51Joe Rogan?

  The guy who kinda sucks.

• 1:31:51Speaker 02

  Come on, one of us is gonna make it, right?

• 1:31:53Joe Rogan?

  You bring us with you.

• 1:31:56Speaker 02

  It's Shane Gillis, Dave Chappelle, all talking like, so three of us.

• 1:32:01Joe Rogan?

  We're all in this together, boys. We said we were in this together. Like, hey, hey, hey.

• 1:32:05Speaker 02

  You promised. You promised. I said, get away. I said, get me a beer.

• 1:32:10Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's not like you founded Twitter together. Relax.

• 1:32:14Joe Rogan?

  Relax.

• 1:32:14Speaker 03

  We did the, did the Boston Comedy Fest and we were all in the finals and we were like, alright, whoever wins, cause the, the pot was ten grand, which was enormous at that level.

• 1:32:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:24Speaker 03

  And we were like, whoever wins, we'll split it up this way, that way.

• 1:32:27Joe Rogan?

  Do a saver.

• 1:32:29Speaker 03

  One guy was off in the, in the shadows, we're like, he's not gonna make it, this guy sucks, he's no good.

• 1:32:34Speaker 01

  That guy's definitely gonna win.

• 1:32:35Speaker 03

  He won. Gave the whole thing to Boston Strong, we all hated him.

• 1:32:39Joe Rogan?

  What's Boston Strong?

• 1:32:40Speaker 03

  The marathon. It was that year.

• 1:32:42Speaker 01

  What a fucking, great guy.

• 1:32:44Speaker 03

  What a piece of shit.

• 1:32:47Joe Rogan?

  Did he ever make it as a comic?

• 1:32:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's hilarious. He's a really funny guy, but at the time, we're like, this guy's going nowhere, and then he won.

• 1:32:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, anytime I've done a comedy competition, the guy who's sitting by himself and quiet, you go, fuck.

• 1:32:58Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:32:59Speaker 02

  He's doing the math over and he just made points.

• 1:33:01Speaker 01

  He's not here having fun.

• 1:33:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. We're all hungover and drinking. This little Indian kid.

• 1:33:06Joe Rogan?

  They used to have this thing called the Boston Comedy Riot. It was like the biggest comedy competi- yeah. WBNCN Radio would host it. It's the Boston Comedy Riot. It was like in the 1980s.

• 1:33:16Speaker 03

  WBZ.

• 1:33:17Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:17Speaker 02

  The Boston and the Seattle competitions were the big ones. I never did either one of them, but it was like, it was like weeks long, so you had to either keep going up there or be there.

• 1:33:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, that Seattle was like, that was hell.

• 1:33:27Joe Rogan?

  So you have to be a guy with no life.

• 1:33:29Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:33:30Speaker 02

  Or a Seattle resident.

• 1:33:31Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, or a Seattle resident. Willing to hang in there for the long haul, for the golden prize of being the winner of the Seattle competition.

• 1:33:38Speaker 02

  Did you do any competitions? I think I lost one to Sam.

• 1:33:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, I did a bunch at the beginning.

• 1:33:43Joe Rogan?

  With Sam?

• 1:33:43Speaker 02

  Atlanta, Maril. I think he ended up winning. I think we're both in the final.

• 1:33:48Speaker 03

  Oh, the Laughing Skull. He did win that.

• 1:33:50Speaker 02

  Did they just kick them out?

• 1:33:52Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 1:33:52Speaker 02

  The Laughing Skull, did the vortex just kick out the Laughing Skull?

• 1:33:55Joe Rogan?

  What happened?

• 1:33:56Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 1:33:56Speaker 02

  I think the vortex said like, you guys gotta go, the owners gotta go.

• 1:33:59Speaker 03

  Pull it up.

• 1:34:00Joe Rogan?

  What happened?

• 1:34:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 1:34:01Joe Rogan?

  You gotta pee?

• 1:34:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:34:02Joe Rogan?

  What is that about? You know why? That was a great little room.

• 1:34:04Speaker 03

  That was. Eighty-five seats.

• 1:34:07Joe Rogan?

  Great, great little room. Fun room.

• 1:34:15Speaker 08

  Hey Mitch, you've been trying to take down these games from Star.

• 1:34:18Speaker 06

  Filmed for IMAX.

• 1:34:19Speaker 08

  Make them remember you.

• 1:34:22Speaker 06

  The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Leaping, November 20th, made in PG-13.

• 1:34:26Speaker 07

  Bonjour, compadre. It's the...

• 1:34:30Speaker 07

  How do I negotiate so many great travel deals? My greatest gadget, the Priceline app. It's got hotel deals, flight deals, rental car deals, all of those deals in a bundle. Deals, game day deals, concert trip deals. No one deals more deals than Priceline. Hold your horses, there's more. The app lets you filter hotels by neighborhood, vibe, star level, and amenities like pools and spas and beachfronts. Wait, I'm not done. Stop cutting me off.

• 1:34:55Speaker 02

  It's got a film special, there's no space for cameras, but someone still had to.

• 1:34:59Joe Rogan?

  I think someone filmed something there. I think I've seen stuff from there. Yeah, Atlanta's a great comedy town.

• 1:35:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, what happened, what happened? There was this headline, I kind of passed by for a second, you ever do those and then go and you're like, I actually read that one.

• 1:35:11Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah, the headlines. You just, you think, you're just getting overwhelmed by headlines, that's the problem. That's true. Like, there's so much, oh, that's important, but maybe not as important as the next one, or maybe scroll down a little.

• 1:35:23Speaker 02

  But it all goes into your brain.

• 1:35:24Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:35:25Speaker 02

  And you know the headlines are all lies.

• 1:35:26Joe Rogan?

  They're all lies.

• 1:35:27Speaker 02

  Made by some other, not the writer. So you're like, oh, okay, I guess it's that, and you're like...

• 1:35:31Joe Rogan?

  Isn't that weird?

• 1:35:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:35:32Joe Rogan?

  If you write a really good article, someone could like fuck it up with like some misleading shit in the headline. Laughing Skull Lounge Founder Will Leave The Vortex After 16 Years. Sad. Wow. That was a great room. After two decades, they're splitting up.

• 1:35:45Speaker 02

  What does that mean? There'd be no, there'd be no Laughing Skull, or just the guys out?

• 1:35:49Joe Rogan?

  I think, I don't know.

• 1:35:51Speaker 02

  Laughing Skull Lounge will still be opening the vortex, but not as we know it today.

• 1:35:55Joe Rogan?

  Uh-oh. The founder and team will be exploring other comedy avenues in the city. So they'll do another Laughing Skull somewhere else.

• 1:36:03Speaker 02

  Nah, nah, nah, nobody cares about the name.

• 1:36:06Joe Rogan?

  Wow, that room. Well, they know how to do it, though. They'll probably find one that's like it.

• 1:36:11Speaker 02

  Nah, the rooms are important. Size of rooms, it's not like you can't just reproduce it somewhere.

• 1:36:15Joe Rogan?

  But you might be able to find a similar sized room.

• 1:36:18Speaker 02

  I mean, yeah.

• 1:36:19Joe Rogan?

  I mean, Atlanta's got a lot of. But it's not starting a new room. They have a giant email list. Why are you so pessimistic?

• 1:36:25Speaker 02

  No, because like the actual, the actual room, the old stand versus the new stand, they're different.

• 1:36:30Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:36:30Speaker 02

  The La Jolla Comedy Store versus the regular Comedy Store, the Comedy Store versus the main room. Those are different rooms.

• 1:36:35Speaker 03

  Elliot Page.

• 1:36:36Speaker 02

  You know, yeah, Elliot versus Elliot. Yeah. It's like, so it's like, you can't reproduce that.

• 1:36:40Joe Rogan?

  Right. But you can make, look, look.

• 1:36:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, he ran it well. That part will be reproduced.

• 1:36:44Joe Rogan?

  The little boy in the mothership.

• 1:36:46Speaker 02

  Those are different.

• 1:36:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but we made that. That's a new room and it's a tiny little room, just like that. It's the same kind of thing. It's like, you can, you can, you just know how to do it right. You can be recreated.

• 1:36:56Speaker 02

  And the vet, the location is big. Like, what kind of people are in that area already versus like?

• 1:37:02Joe Rogan?

  Sure. Yep. Yep.

• 1:37:03Speaker 03

  It's funny how a room has a feel. Like, like the OR in the store has such a weird feel.

• 1:37:09Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:10Speaker 02

  It's a specific. And smoke is built into the walls. Evil's built into the walls.

• 1:37:13Joe Rogan?

  It's also like, there's something good about the, I used to think it was bad, but there's something good about the commotion in the hallway in the back.

• 1:37:20Speaker 03

  Mmm.

• 1:37:20Joe Rogan?

  The good about it is it's chaos.

• 1:37:22Speaker 02

  Chaos.

• 1:37:22Joe Rogan?

  The show's chaos.

• 1:37:23Speaker 02

  You can hear chaos.

• 1:37:23Joe Rogan?

  That room is a chaos room. Diaz used to have the most chaos in that room. Like Diaz would crush in the main room, but there's something about Diaz when he would go on stage in the fucking OR, like late at night when no one cared.

• 1:37:36Speaker 02

  Just doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. And then he would go and crush it.

• 1:37:40Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. He would go crush it. He would go crush it.

• 1:37:42Speaker 03

  Really? I'd love to see him in that little of a room.

• 1:37:45Speaker 02

  Well, a few people know what that means.

• 1:37:46Speaker 03

  Oh, you're sick.

• 1:37:48Speaker 02

  And then he'd go shake his hand so his dick came out.

• 1:37:50Joe Rogan?

  When I did a.

• 1:37:51Speaker 03

  You sick fuck.

• 1:37:52Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he came back with the bong.

• 1:37:53Speaker 02

  It's just plastic. It's just plastic made in America. Hold on, I gotta piss. Don't start it before I get it. I won't.

• 1:38:00Joe Rogan?

  Thank God you're leaving to piss.

• 1:38:03Joe Rogan?

  We're bottles over here. Yeah, we're trying to keep him from you.

• 1:38:05Speaker 03

  We got buh buh buh buffalo.

• 1:38:08Joe Rogan?

  We had a triple wash this fucking pitcher because Norman pissed in it once.

• 1:38:12Speaker 02

  Oh, fuck, I forgot about that.

• 1:38:16Speaker 01

  We've had some really rough ones.

• 1:38:18Speaker 03

  We've had some rippers.

• 1:38:18Speaker 01

  Like to the point where when it's like Protect Our Parks Day, I'm like.

• 1:38:22Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. It's like a marathon.

• 1:38:24Joe Rogan?

  But America needs it.

• 1:38:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:38:26Joe Rogan?

  The boys need it. They do. They tell me all the time. I see them out in the streets.

• 1:38:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:38:30Joe Rogan?

  So when, when, when's Protect Our Parks coming back? They say it all the time.

• 1:38:33Speaker 03

  All the time.

• 1:38:34Joe Rogan?

  That's the first, when I do those Q and As after shows sometimes.

• 1:38:36Speaker 03

  Me too.

• 1:38:37Joe Rogan?

  Like, number one question.

• 1:38:38Speaker 03

  When's the next one?

• 1:38:39Joe Rogan?

  When's the next Protect Our Parks?

• 1:38:40Speaker 03

  But they take a year off your life, so you gotta spread them out a little bit, you know? It's like, um, bear, what's that, what's that, the tough mutter?

• 1:38:46Joe Rogan?

  Right, right. You can't do them every weekend.

• 1:38:48Speaker 01

  That one, uh, photo from the one where I had like twenty-five or twenty-six beers. Everyone just wanted to see the photo, and I'm like, oh my god.

• 1:38:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:38:56Speaker 01

  What a nightmare that was.

• 1:38:58Joe Rogan?

  But that is what people genuinely need. They need bros. Like, having, having a good time as bros, like with

• 1:39:05Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:39:05Joe Rogan?

  no restrictions.

• 1:39:06Speaker 03

  Cause they're doing it.

• 1:39:07Joe Rogan?

  They want to. If they can't, they wish they could.

• 1:39:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:39:11Joe Rogan?

  They want to. Everybody wants to.

• 1:39:13Speaker 03

  I grew up doing this shit, you know?

• 1:39:14Joe Rogan?

  Every man wants to have fun.

• 1:39:16Speaker 01

  I was really hoping I would stop doing this at some point.

• 1:39:18Speaker 03

  No, never, never.

• 1:39:20Speaker 01

  This is my first party in the woods in high school. I was just like, well, I'm gonna do this for the rest of my life.

• 1:39:26Speaker 03

  At least now you're monetizing it kinda.

• 1:39:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:28Speaker 03

  Like, you're making, you made it a living.

• 1:39:29Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Listen, this is the best life. This is the best life for guys.

• 1:39:33Speaker 03

  A hundred percent.

• 1:39:34Joe Rogan?

  We are the luckiest fucking people that have ever lived.

• 1:39:36Speaker 03

  Like, you had Jimmy Carr on, and he was talking like, he's like, I'm doing this today, then I'm going to Chappelle's thing, then I'm doing Kill Tony, then I'm doing the mothership, then I'm doing an arena in fucking Scandinavia.

• 1:39:47Joe Rogan?

  Best life.

• 1:39:48Speaker 03

  What a life.

• 1:39:48Joe Rogan?

  It's the best life. Jimmy Carr was fucking hilarious.

• 1:39:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:52Joe Rogan?

  When he came out of the club with this new shit he's working on, he just had a bunch of notes.

• 1:39:56Speaker 01

  He always has it.

• 1:39:57Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god, he was so good.

• 1:39:58Speaker 03

  He's a beast.

• 1:39:59Joe Rogan?

  He was so, it was so fun to watch. It was like, when you watch a guy who's like, ah, like, just, just fucking dialed in.

• 1:40:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:05Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:40:06Joe Rogan?

  Dialed.

• 1:40:06Speaker 01

  I saw him tell that story about what's his name fucking with him too, about me.

• 1:40:10Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:40:11Speaker 02

  So funny because I remember.

• 1:40:12Joe Rogan?

  Greg Giraldo.

• 1:40:13Speaker 01

  It's so funny.

• 1:40:13Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, Greg Giraldo told him that Ari had cancer.

• 1:40:17Speaker 02

  And then, and then Greg Giraldo goes and dies.

• 1:40:20Joe Rogan?

  And Jimmy Carr's living with this. And then he sees Ari, he's like, you look, you look good, you look good. He's like, what the fuck is going on?

• 1:40:26Speaker 01

  With half your face shaved?

• 1:40:28Speaker 02

  No, no, this was like ten years ago.

• 1:40:29Speaker 01

  Keen was only on one side.

• 1:40:32Speaker 01

  Fucking crazy, type of cancer.

• 1:40:34Speaker 02

  I was like, thanks, man, appreciate it. And then a year later, I'd be like, so, you all right? I'm like, what the fuck is going on? But you're just weird looking enough where you're like, yeah, he does look godfucked up. When he told me, they said you had cancer, I'm like, what? He goes, yeah, they said you're cancer, that's why you're like that, because you don't care anymore. Ah, what? Kobe, he had cancer, the guy's dying. Fifteen years ago, it was so crazy. Let him spike your drink, he's dying.

• 1:41:00Joe Rogan?

  That's so funny.

• 1:41:02Speaker 01

  That's a nice fucking backup to have. I wish people thought that.

• 1:41:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:41:05Speaker 01

  Be like, yeah, he took a shit on stage, you go, oh, he's got cancer.

• 1:41:08Joe Rogan?

  It's funny that.

• 1:41:09Speaker 02

  That's why it's bloody, right? It's bloody shit.

• 1:41:11Joe Rogan?

  Giraldo said that to him and never told him any different.

• 1:41:15Speaker 02

  He must just been passing through the room, saw him watching any stand up and goes, oh, that guy's got cancer. And then got, got in a beer. That's amazing.

• 1:41:22Joe Rogan?

  Just fucked his head.

• 1:41:23Speaker 02

  Love a comic. That guy went to Harvard Law, too. Love a comic.

• 1:41:26Joe Rogan?

  Like a long burn of a joke, just waiting one day, years later, this joke will pay off.

• 1:41:32Speaker 02

  That's amazing.

• 1:41:33Joe Rogan?

  And I won't even be there.

• 1:41:36Speaker 02

  I won't even be there. Genius.

• 1:41:39Joe Rogan?

  Giraldo and I, we, we shared a parking lot in, when we were both on TV together. At the very first times we were both on TV, when I was on news radio and he was on his own show. He had his own show that was on the same lot. I'd hang out with him at the lot all the time. He had like a, like a show about him being a lawyer.

• 1:41:55Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:41:55Joe Rogan?

  Like a sitcom.

• 1:41:56Speaker 02

  Because he was a lawyer, so he could, he could do this off your life. That's what they always do. What was your job right before this? Let's make a show.

• 1:42:01Joe Rogan?

  Yep.

• 1:42:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I worked in a garage.

• 1:42:03Joe Rogan?

  Knew him from New York, so we'd hang out. That's why he got tires. That's why it works, though, right?

• 1:42:10Speaker 02

  That's why it's so funny.

• 1:42:11Joe Rogan?

  Oh, by the way, when's the new season?

• 1:42:12Speaker 01

  Uh, June 5th.

• 1:42:13Joe Rogan?

  Right now.

• 1:42:14Speaker 02

  Today.

• 1:42:15Speaker 01

  Go check it out on Netflix.

• 1:42:16Joe Rogan?

  If you're listening to this, it's available right now.

• 1:42:18Speaker 02

  Check it out. On Netflix.com, they'll drop ship you a fucking CD, watch it.

• 1:42:23Speaker 01

  Mail it, check your mailbox.

• 1:42:24Speaker 02

  Check your mailbox right now.

• 1:42:25Speaker 01

  It's gonna be a DVD with tires.

• 1:42:26Speaker 02

  Hopefully I didn't send you first season. It's gonna skip a little.

• 1:42:30Joe Rogan?

  And while you're there, you can watch Ari Shaffir's special.

• 1:42:32Speaker 02

  Well, we all got, yeah, shit on there, that's right. But yeah, tires.

• 1:42:37Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:38Speaker 02

  You've managed to rein in trash Kyla in a way. It's unrainable.

• 1:42:43Speaker 01

  Well, everybody in the show plays literally themselves. So Kyla was, Kyla was pretty easy.

• 1:42:49Speaker 02

  What was the, hold on, what was the line? Hold on, I mean, I mean, she was my employee for a long time.

• 1:42:54Speaker 03

  Ron White's in this season, right?

• 1:42:56Speaker 01

  Ron White is, yeah.

• 1:42:57Speaker 03

  Oh, fun.

• 1:42:57Speaker 02

  What was the line you had before? It was, it was how to talk trash was like, I spilled a coffee colada on my scratch.

• 1:43:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:43:03Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:43:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, Ron fucking kills it.

• 1:43:08Speaker 02

  Oh, he brought his own outfit in?

• 1:43:12Speaker 01

  You're not gonna believe it, Ron plays himself.

• 1:43:14Speaker 03

  Full Lebowski there.

• 1:43:15Joe Rogan?

  That's all you'd want him to play.

• 1:43:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, why fuck around? He plays a washed up NASCAR driver.

• 1:43:21Speaker 03

  Ah, fun.

• 1:43:22Speaker 01

  And he's there for like a sign, like a meet and greet that no one shows up to.

• 1:43:26Speaker 02

  Oh, that's great.

• 1:43:27Speaker 01

  It's pretty great.

• 1:43:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're the, we had a Woody Harrelson at the club last night.

• 1:43:33Joe Rogan?

  Oh, was he there last night? He's there a lot, man. He's been there a lot.

• 1:43:35Speaker 01

  I've missed him every fucking time.

• 1:43:37Speaker 03

  He was a sweet, sweet man.

• 1:43:40Speaker 01

  Fucking man.

• 1:43:40Joe Rogan?

  Doesn't have a phone, though. He doesn't do email. So if like you wanna get ahold of him, you gotta go through his wife.

• 1:43:46Speaker 02

  You gotta run into him.

• 1:43:47Joe Rogan?

  Like, he's smart. He's protecting himself from bullshit. The bullshit in the world. He's like, I don't wanna be a part of this.

• 1:43:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:43:53Joe Rogan?

  I don't wanna have a phone. I got no social media. I got no nothing. I'm just a human, like I always was. I was a human before this. I'm staying a human.

• 1:44:01Speaker 01

  It's really nice when you don't have a phone.

• 1:44:02Speaker 03

  He's ear to ear, like he's, he's on, walking on thin air. Is that it?

• 1:44:07Joe Rogan?

  You don't want all that fucking input, man. You don't, it's not good for you.

• 1:44:11Speaker 01

  It's also, it's also nothing ever happens.

• 1:44:14Speaker 02

  Nothing ever, it's just like scrolling, scrolling something.

• 1:44:16Speaker 01

  Fucking India, Pakistan, 1243.

• 1:44:17Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:44:19Speaker 01

  For us.

• 1:44:20Speaker 03

  Man, I don't know, we got the Epstein file.

• 1:44:22Speaker 02

  Not changing, it's like, why am I gonna be aware of this?

• 1:44:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:44:26Speaker 02

  I do, I mean, I guess all of us remember before it, right?

• 1:44:29Speaker 01

  You're the youngest.

• 1:44:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:30Speaker 02

  But still, it's like, those were good times.

• 1:44:33Speaker 03

  Great times.

• 1:44:33Speaker 02

  And so it's like, I get we have better stuff now, but like.

• 1:44:36Speaker 01

  Parts of before were okay.

• 1:44:38Speaker 03

  And not only were they great times.

• 1:44:39Speaker 01

  How do you pull those in?

• 1:44:39Speaker 03

  I'm so glad they weren't filmed. Can you imagine if he had all that shit on film from taking a dump in your dad's mouth?

• 1:44:46Speaker 01

  Throwing up in the street and you gotta worry about somebody's filming you?

• 1:44:48Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:44:50Joe Rogan?

  The, just the pure anxiety that people are living with today.

• 1:44:53Speaker 03

  But yeah.

• 1:44:54Joe Rogan?

  People are living with like pure anxiety, like on a level, it just anxiety on your phone all day long.

• 1:44:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:44:59Joe Rogan?

  Just giving you anxiety and you can't live a life.

• 1:45:02Speaker 01

  Stuff's terrible, stuff's terrible.

• 1:45:02Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, suicides up, depression's up.

• 1:45:04Speaker 01

  You wake up to fucking 20 texts.

• 1:45:06Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:45:07Speaker 01

  They're like, what's up? From all these different people, you gotta fucking.

• 1:45:10Speaker 03

  You gotta micromanage.

• 1:45:11Speaker 02

  Right, even that part, that's not evil, but it's like.

• 1:45:14Speaker 01

  And it's like, I just woke up, so I look at my phone right away.

• 1:45:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:45:17Speaker 01

  I'm sending the dumbest replies.

• 1:45:19Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:19Speaker 01

  I don't know, you know how like when you wake up and you. Yeah, I don't know, how to explain what I'm trying to say.

• 1:45:24Speaker 03

  No, I get it, I get it.

• 1:45:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's 80 people coming at you to do, it's fun thing, a show or something like that.

• 1:45:29Speaker 01

  It's all nice.

• 1:45:30Speaker 02

  And it's like, I, I, it's too much now, I was supposed to run into you and say, yes, I can do that day.

• 1:45:35Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:37Speaker 02

  I need an answer now, it's just constant.

• 1:45:39Speaker 01

  And I got all my, all my buddies are in town. All the Philly, all the Philly trash is here.

• 1:45:44Speaker 03

  Oh geez.

• 1:45:45Speaker 01

  For the, yeah.

• 1:45:46Speaker 03

  Tonight's gonna get nuts.

• 1:45:47Speaker 01

  Tonight is gonna get nuts and I was really hoping to avoid that.

• 1:45:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:45:50Speaker 01

  What is the plan?

• 1:45:53Joe Rogan?

  Tell them some fun, dog.

• 1:45:54Speaker 03

  Well, we'll do the show.

• 1:45:55Speaker 01

  Oh, I guess we won't tell. No, I mean, I mean the, this tonight.

• 1:45:59Joe Rogan?

  Hmm.

• 1:46:00Speaker 01

  When this airs tonight, but we'll tell, I'll tell.

• 1:46:01Speaker 03

  Well, at least we'll be safe in that green room.

• 1:46:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, we'll be safe.

• 1:46:05Speaker 01

  We're not gonna be safe, we're gonna be safe. It's a fucking bar, it's gonna be a nightmare.

• 1:46:08Speaker 03

  It's gonna be a nightmare.

• 1:46:09Speaker 01

  This is gonna be a disaster.

• 1:46:10Speaker 02

  We were talking about it yesterday where it's like, what's the plan usually? I'm like, okay, so we get way too fucked up. Then we go shove meat in our mouth. And then immediately, I'll be like, you're on in five. I'm like, okay. And I go, run to, run to the store, get up. Or with the mothership and then get up and then be like.

• 1:46:28Speaker 03

  All you gotta do is.

• 1:46:29Speaker 02

  It's drunk.

• 1:46:29Speaker 03

  Puke in the hallway, it'll get it all out, you'll be good to go.

• 1:46:33Joe Rogan?

  It's funny, cause I call it the store all the time.

• 1:46:35Speaker 02

  Oh, by, right?

• 1:46:35Joe Rogan?

  I even call it the main room.

• 1:46:37Speaker 02

  That means you did it right.

• 1:46:38Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I don't even.

• 1:46:38Speaker 02

  The main room and the, and the, and the, yeah.

• 1:46:40Joe Rogan?

  And the OR or the, yeah, it's kind of like.

• 1:46:42Speaker 02

  It's either OR or belly.

• 1:46:43Joe Rogan?

  It's kind of a hybrid between the OR and the belly room.

• 1:46:46Speaker 02

  Because the main room is also the OR, the OR is the main room.

• 1:46:48Joe Rogan?

  But the OR.

• 1:46:49Speaker 02

  In LA.

• 1:46:49Joe Rogan?

  The main room at the club at the mothership is like if the main room and the OR had a baby.

• 1:46:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:46:55Joe Rogan?

  And then the other one is like if the OR and the belly room had a baby.

• 1:46:59Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 1:47:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm always like, you're going to the store tonight.

• 1:47:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:02Speaker 02

  I mean, you built it with that in mind.

• 1:47:04Speaker 01

  And Adam Egetz there.

• 1:47:05Joe Rogan?

  I mean, literally named the bar after Mitzi Shore.

• 1:47:08Speaker 01

  Fucking gay as.

• 1:47:09Joe Rogan?

  He's the best.

• 1:47:10Speaker 01

  He is the best.

• 1:47:10Joe Rogan?

  He's the best.

• 1:47:11Speaker 01

  I love him so much.

• 1:47:12Speaker 02

  He might be my favorite homosexual of all time.

• 1:47:14Joe Rogan?

  He's not gay anymore.

• 1:47:15Speaker 02

  Holocaust denier.

• 1:47:16Joe Rogan?

  He's not gay no more.

• 1:47:17Speaker 01

  You cured it?

• 1:47:18Joe Rogan?

  He is delivered. I like women.

• 1:47:23Joe Rogan?

  How long after that video did that guy suck a dick?

• 1:47:25Speaker 01

  Did he wait a week?

• 1:47:27Speaker 02

  That night.

• 1:47:27Speaker 01

  Ten minutes.

• 1:47:29Joe Rogan?

  That fucking dick.

• 1:47:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. Why are you gay?

• 1:47:31Speaker 02

  First dick he saw.

• 1:47:32Joe Rogan?

  He's like, I'm not gay no more. Good. This ain't even a dick. Oh, it's not? No, no, no, no, no.

• 1:47:38Speaker 01

  Well, if you say so.

• 1:47:39Joe Rogan?

  The devil's tricking you into believing my delicious penis is a dick.

• 1:47:42Speaker 02

  But for a moment, he believed it. The way we're all like, I'm not gonna do this one evil thing anymore.

• 1:47:47Joe Rogan?

  Imagine if the whole world didn't want, that's the most brutal thing about homophobia.

• 1:47:52Speaker 01

  You want some though? Fuck.

• 1:47:53Joe Rogan?

  Fine, I'll do a little coke. That's the most brutal thing.

• 1:47:56Speaker 02

  How many times do you quit drinking for a week or quit weed for a week and then not made it that night?

• 1:48:00Speaker 01

  Alright, so last week. Totally. Last week, last week, I was like, alright, I gotta take a week off. Fucking giant storm comes through Texas. Ah. My power's out for three days.

• 1:48:10Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:48:10Speaker 01

  Wow. Day three, I'm sitting in a hot house going. The only place I can go right now is a bar.

• 1:48:16Speaker 02

  Actually, I went right. Kelly's?

• 1:48:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, and they gave me this shirt. They gave me this on Thursday. There you go. Like, buy merch. He was hammered. I got hammered, they, yeah.

• 1:48:25Joe Rogan?

  Where's Kelly's? Where is that?

• 1:48:27Speaker 01

  Ah, I have no idea.

• 1:48:28Joe Rogan?

  Kelly's Irish Pub.

• 1:48:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:29Joe Rogan?

  Is that here? It's in Austin?

• 1:48:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, shit rules.

• 1:48:32Joe Rogan?

  Oh, no shit. I've heard of that place.

• 1:48:34Speaker 01

  The place was actually really great.

• 1:48:35Joe Rogan?

  That's nice.

• 1:48:35Speaker 01

  The owners, they're all Irish. Everyone.

• 1:48:37Speaker 02

  Irish people have exported the bar, the proper bar, the best way. The Irish bar is the same in every country in the world.

• 1:48:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's the best. They figured out the best place.

• 1:48:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, is there an Irish pub in town? People always ask that.

• 1:48:50Speaker 02

  And it is the same.

• 1:48:51Speaker 01

  Well, they're not blaring techno and all this shit. Yeah, it's dark and you drink. Yes, like you should.

• 1:48:56Speaker 02

  Couple old Guinness signs.

• 1:48:57Speaker 01

  It's like Ireland.

• 1:48:58Joe Rogan?

  Do they play music at the Irish pub?

• 1:49:00Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, I think they actually have Irish music, like a live band.

• 1:49:04Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 1:49:05Speaker 01

  I think it's actually pretty sick.

• 1:49:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was just.

• 1:49:08Speaker 01

  The owner was, the owner was the fucking man. He gave me a bunch of, uh, yeah, whatever.

• 1:49:12Joe Rogan?

  That's one of the good things about.

• 1:49:14Speaker 01

  No, not drugs, not drugs. He gave me some fucking like IRA stuff.

• 1:49:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:49:18Speaker 01

  I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't know if he gets in trouble.

• 1:49:20Speaker 02

  Somebody gave me some Nazi money. I have a wall for my U B Chipping Podcast.

• 1:49:23Speaker 01

  Oh, IRA.

• 1:49:23Speaker 02

  And I put like money up there from different countries. Somebody's like, want some Nazi money? I'm like, yeah, I want it for sure.

• 1:49:29Speaker 01

  I was thinking about buying a fucking Adolf Hitler autograph.

• 1:49:32Speaker 03

  You might as well.

• 1:49:33Speaker 01

  And I don't know what's.

• 1:49:34Joe Rogan?

  Get it from Kanye, he'll sell you one.

• 1:49:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you can buy.

• 1:49:38Speaker 02

  You can buy them.

• 1:49:38Speaker 01

  They're really expensive, but you can buy an, an Adolf Hitler autograph.

• 1:49:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, it's gotta be worth a ton of money.

• 1:49:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know. And then I figured maybe when I'm, if I have grandkids or something, I go, this is gonna be worth a billion dollars.

• 1:49:53Speaker 02

  The most evil man.

• 1:49:55Joe Rogan?

  Con's autograph.

• 1:49:56Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:49:56Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 1:49:57Joe Rogan?

  Won't be forbidden anymore.

• 1:49:58Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 1:49:59Joe Rogan?

  After like a thousand years.

• 1:50:00Speaker 02

  You're not revering him. You're just like, he was notable.

• 1:50:03Speaker 03

  He's the most famous guy ever.

• 1:50:04Speaker 02

  There's somebody who was like, I was reading Mein Kampf just to read it, but she was reading it on the bus and she had to go. So people didn't think she was a grand boss.

• 1:50:13Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but you can get in trouble just having that.

• 1:50:15Speaker 03

  You gotta get a book cover on that thing.

• 1:50:17Joe Rogan?

  Few outstanding, very original document, letter signed, autographed by Adolf.

• 1:50:21Speaker 02

  Seventy-eight hundred dollars, seventy-seven hundred.

• 1:50:25Speaker 01

  That's not bad for a fuck.

• 1:50:27Joe Rogan?

  Adolf Eichmann.

• 1:50:28Speaker 02

  Not just on a piece of paper. This is like.

• 1:50:30Joe Rogan?

  Is, uh, is a Nazi military officer charged by Hitler. He's not Adolf Hitler.

• 1:50:35Speaker 02

  No, Eichmann was, that's right. It's not Adolf.

• 1:50:37Speaker 01

  Oof.

• 1:50:38Speaker 03

  How much are you?

• 1:50:38Speaker 02

  Eichmann's the worst one.

• 1:50:41Speaker 03

  How much is that Holocaust?

• 1:50:43Joe Rogan?

  I can't believe you can just buy Nazi stuff.

• 1:50:44Speaker 01

  You can.

• 1:50:45Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, dude, it's in thrift stores too. It's not, I've seen them.

• 1:50:47Joe Rogan?

  Whoa, look at that. Original, look at that, the arm sleeve, officer's sleeve eagle.

• 1:50:53Speaker 03

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:50:54Joe Rogan?

  From a guy's fucking uniform.

• 1:50:57Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 1:50:57Speaker 01

  See what I mean?

• 1:50:58Speaker 03

  That guy killed your grandpa.

• 1:50:59Speaker 02

  Hundred eighty bucks.

• 1:51:00Speaker 01

  You see how you start going?

• 1:51:01Joe Rogan?

  Oh, no.

• 1:51:02Speaker 01

  I could spend fucking five hundred bucks.

• 1:51:03Speaker 03

  It's history.

• 1:51:04Joe Rogan?

  Only four hundred and eighty bucks? That's crazy.

• 1:51:06Speaker 02

  I have a new version of that.

• 1:51:07Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 1:51:08Speaker 02

  The Chinese. The Chinese made new money to give it up for the workers during covid. And it's all these scientists on their, on their bills. They made a whole new bill.

• 1:51:18Joe Rogan?

  Really? Interesting.

• 1:51:19Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 1:51:20Joe Rogan?

  I swear to god. These are the people that caused the pandemic.

• 1:51:22Speaker 01

  I don't, see, every, every time I've brought this up.

• 1:51:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:51:25Speaker 01

  People get upset.

• 1:51:27Speaker 02

  He's a, he's a polarizing figure.

• 1:51:29Speaker 01

  But I don't, of course he's polarizing. It's not like, but I'm not like.

• 1:51:31Joe Rogan?

  Doing a lot of bad things.

• 1:51:32Speaker 02

  Polarizing.

• 1:51:33Speaker 01

  I know, but I'm not like Hitler's the man.

• 1:51:35Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you're really galling it because someone just edited that part.

• 1:51:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, Hitler's the man. No, but it's like, he's the worst, he's the.

• 1:51:43Joe Rogan?

  Of course.

• 1:51:44Speaker 01

  Edit this part, he's the biggest faggot that's ever lived.

• 1:51:46Joe Rogan?

  Sure. Actually Mao was worse.

• 1:51:48Speaker 02

  Wait, wait, that's so funny. I mean, it's a, it's a whatever bit, but like, calling Hitler a faggot will get you in trouble for the wrong reason.

• 1:51:55Joe Rogan?

  That's true.

• 1:51:56Speaker 01

  But he's like, the top five all time.

• 1:51:58Joe Rogan?

  Top five.

• 1:51:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. Biggest fucking turds on earth.

• 1:52:01Joe Rogan?

  He's the Michael Jordan of faggots. Cranked out of his mind the entire time.

• 1:52:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:52:05Joe Rogan?

  Like a, a poster boy for don't do drugs.

• 1:52:08Speaker 02

  It was actually Eichmann was, drove it more, because Hitler was like, whatever you need to go, Eichmann was the one, that's where I think I remember is him going, let's find, we need an other, he was a smarter one about it, because we need some other. And he goes, let's do the Jews, they stated themselves. But he was like, well, anyone will do.

• 1:52:24Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 1:52:24Speaker 02

  He was the, he was the, like, the, the writer of all of it. And, and Adolf was like, that'll help us get like nationalism going.

• 1:52:31Joe Rogan?

  Dick Cheney, the George W.

• 1:52:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:52:33Speaker 01

  Adolf was like, dude, just let me spit.

• 1:52:35Joe Rogan?

  He was like, Joe Biden.

• 1:52:35Speaker 01

  Tell me who.

• 1:52:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:52:37Joe Rogan?

  We, we found out Dick Cheney's still alive the other day.

• 1:52:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:52:40Speaker 02

  Really? Isn't that interesting?

• 1:52:41Joe Rogan?

  I thought he was, I thought it's like a Berenstein Bears Mandela effect thing. I thought he was dead.

• 1:52:45Speaker 01

  No, he endorsed Kamala Harris and they bragged about it.

• 1:52:48Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's, oh, that's right.

• 1:52:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, Dave Smith pointed out, yeah, yeah, someone with visual.

• 1:52:51Joe Rogan?

  George Washington? It might be real, it says. Bro, 240 grand, you got this Shane.

• 1:52:57Speaker 02

  What is that, his flask?

• 1:52:58Joe Rogan?

  George Washington's powder flask.

• 1:53:00Speaker 02

  Powder.

• 1:53:01Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, call upon stars.

• 1:53:03Speaker 02

  Jen Washington.

• 1:53:05Joe Rogan?

  That might be real.

• 1:53:06Speaker 01

  See what I mean? You can have that at your house.

• 1:53:08Joe Rogan?

  That's pretty dope.

• 1:53:09Speaker 02

  But.

• 1:53:09Joe Rogan?

  But that's the founding father.

• 1:53:10Speaker 02

  Same, same, but different.

• 1:53:11Speaker 01

  Well, he had slaves.

• 1:53:12Joe Rogan?

  Drinking beers out of it. Don't tell anybody. Don't tell anybody, they won't Google it.

• 1:53:17Speaker 01

  Fucking slaves.

• 1:53:18Joe Rogan?

  He did.

• 1:53:19Speaker 01

  You get any of his, the Napoleon hat, was that you who sent me that, Jamie?

• 1:53:24Speaker 02

  Napoleon's hat is up for auction.

• 1:53:26Speaker 01

  Yo.

• 1:53:27Speaker 02

  Hell yeah.

• 1:53:27Joe Rogan?

  How do you know if it's really his hat, though?

• 1:53:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:53:29Joe Rogan?

  You know how many hats I have?

• 1:53:32Joe Rogan?

  I have a thousand baseball hats. I literally have a thousand baseball hats. If somebody like sold my hats, you can sell my hat.

• 1:53:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you wouldn't know. But you wouldn't know if it's his or just recreated like that.

• 1:53:41Joe Rogan?

  I wouldn't even know if you sold one of my hats.

• 1:53:43Speaker 02

  I remember an old, old pod we were doing at your place. At your house, that's how old it was. And it was like, we're talking about art from like the whatever era, and you're like, well, this one's hella old. They're like, how do you know? And it was like, oh yeah, I guess. Yeah, you have no idea.

• 1:53:56Joe Rogan?

  I don't really know.

• 1:53:57Speaker 02

  Just painting.

• 1:53:57Joe Rogan?

  Somebody told me it's old.

• 1:53:58Speaker 02

  Right. Yeah.

• 1:53:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. There's a lot of lies out there.

• 1:54:00Speaker 02

  It just looks.

• 1:54:01Joe Rogan?

  A lot of fake paints. A lot of fucking, a lot of dudes.

• 1:54:04Speaker 02

  I mean, it looks good. That's badass.

• 1:54:06Joe Rogan?

  Legit like his hat.

• 1:54:07Speaker 01

  I think it's pretty expensive.

• 1:54:08Joe Rogan?

  How much is that bitch? A million bucks?

• 1:54:10Speaker 05

  It sold one auction, uh, one auction went for, what, two million? One, two point one, I think it said.

• 1:54:15Speaker 02

  What, how much is Judge's 63rd?

• 1:54:16Joe Rogan?

  Jesus Christ, who wants that?

• 1:54:18Speaker 05

  Twenty of them.

• 1:54:19Joe Rogan?

  Imagine you got so much money, you spent two million on a hat.

• 1:54:22Speaker 01

  You don't want to jack off wearing a Napoleon hat?

• 1:54:24Joe Rogan?

  I do want to.

• 1:54:25Speaker 02

  You gotta fuckin' have that.

• 1:54:26Joe Rogan?

  I didn't until you brought it up.

• 1:54:27Speaker 02

  You gotta wear that while doing doggy.

• 1:54:29Joe Rogan?

  I'm gonna do a full-length mirror, flexin'.

• 1:54:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. Did we talk about what Hitler did to Napoleon? Did we talk about this already? When Napoleon's tomb, everyone had to bow their head to him.

• 1:54:38Joe Rogan?

  Napoleon was in 1800.

• 1:54:40Speaker 02

  And Hitler built a series of mirrors so he wouldn't have to bow, so he could look at it without bowing down. That's wild. It was before I go in, yeah. Yeah. Changed all the mirrors, so he could just go, he didn't get me, Napoleon. But he loved him.

• 1:54:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:54:51Joe Rogan?

  Interesting.

• 1:54:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. Interesting.

• 1:54:53Speaker 01

  Every once in a while, you hear a Hitler story where you go, god damn, that was pretty sick.

• 1:54:57Speaker 02

  Shit on my chest to get hard. Love it. I feel that way, but a lot of them.

• 1:55:02Joe Rogan?

  Gals are shit on their chest.

• 1:55:03Speaker 02

  I don't know, they told us, and I could see them, that's being propaganda for Gen Jews today. He was pretty stupid.

• 1:55:09Joe Rogan?

  That's very methy.

• 1:55:10Speaker 02

  Shit on my chest.

• 1:55:11Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:55:11Speaker 02

  It might have been accidental shit on meth. He did some meth, man.

• 1:55:14Joe Rogan?

  As soon as you hear about a guy doing meth, you're like, oh.

• 1:55:17Speaker 02

  Everything goes from that.

• 1:55:18Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, meth, oh, he's doing meth.

• 1:55:20Speaker 01

  The book I read about him, he was, eh, by the end, he was just sitting by his fire and you just had to listen to him tell stories. And he would be on meth and he'd be screaming for hours.

• 1:55:29Speaker 03

  I've had that with Stan.

• 1:55:33Speaker 01

  And what he was screaming about was like, I'm the greatest architect that's ever lived. I shouldn't even be doing this war.

• 1:55:38Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:55:38Speaker 01

  I didn't even wanna do it, but fucking Churchill made me.

• 1:55:41Speaker 02

  The greatest architect.

• 1:55:42Speaker 01

  I'm the best architect that's ever, he thought he was the, everybody thinks he thought he was a great artist. He thought he was the greatest architect.

• 1:55:48Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:55:48Speaker 02

  This is Elvis with karate.

• 1:55:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:55:52Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:55:52Speaker 01

  Look out, move.

• 1:55:53Speaker 02

  No one could tell him.

• 1:55:54Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:55:55Speaker 01

  Elvis karate shirt, oh, my god.

• 1:55:56Speaker 02

  That's where that idea came from.

• 1:55:58Joe Rogan?

  Roots of Fight. Shout out to Roots of Fight. Yeah, Elvis would get pilled up and they'd pretend that he was good at karate. And dudes are just like, I can't believe you're doing this to me. They would try to move him and he'd like, put his neck out there and stop them from moving.

• 1:56:11Speaker 01

  That's kinda nice.

• 1:56:12Joe Rogan?

  Crank down on pills.

• 1:56:13Speaker 02

  Help the soul man.

• 1:56:14Joe Rogan?

  His liver was redlining all day long.

• 1:56:20Speaker 01

  And just be like, I'm the great, I'm the best fighter ever, Tom, man.

• 1:56:22Speaker 02

  We went to Graceland.

• 1:56:24Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:56:25Speaker 02

  We were there at the same time. We went to the Graceland tour.

• 1:56:27Speaker 03

  The racquetball court where he died.

• 1:56:28Speaker 02

  He had multiple TVs so we could watch every channel in existence all at once. We had four TVs.

• 1:56:33Joe Rogan?

  Come on, man.

• 1:56:34Speaker 03

  That was big back then.

• 1:56:35Speaker 01

  He tied it to a racquetball? I thought it was on a toilet.

• 1:56:37Speaker 02

  Toilet outside his racquetball court.

• 1:56:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's a myth.

• 1:56:40Speaker 01

  He said, I fellas, I'm gonna take a shit.

• 1:56:42Speaker 02

  He had a separate house for racquetball.

• 1:56:44Joe Rogan?

  He's like one of those kids that got the vaccine. You just immediately have a heart attack.

• 1:56:48Speaker 03

  He's Heather McDonald. Yeah, he, eh, he was playing, he couldn't sleep, so he started playing racquetball and he called a guy like at 3 a.m. like, gotta come play with.

• 1:56:55Speaker 02

  Get down here.

• 1:56:56Joe Rogan?

  Come on, man.

• 1:56:56Speaker 01

  I'm gonna fucking beat your ass in racquetball.

• 1:56:58Speaker 03

  You're Elvis. And he, he was like, I gotta take a dump, and there it was.

• 1:57:03Joe Rogan?

  He was the first super famous guy.

• 1:57:07Speaker 03

  You think? What about Hitler?

• 1:57:09Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, a different kind of famous.

• 1:57:10Speaker 02

  No, no, yeah.

• 1:57:11Joe Rogan?

  Like the first beloved star.

• 1:57:12Speaker 02

  Sixties, fifties? When was he?

• 1:57:14Joe Rogan?

  Well, it started in the sixties.

• 1:57:15Speaker 03

  Sixties. Fifties.

• 1:57:17Joe Rogan?

  Started in the, yeah, started in the fifties, went into the seventies.

• 1:57:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, there was nobody.

• 1:57:20Joe Rogan?

  He died in like nineteen seventy six? I wanna say seventy eight, maybe?

• 1:57:28Speaker 02

  He was already passed the huge then.

• 1:57:30Joe Rogan?

  Well, he was still.

• 1:57:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, but like not.

• 1:57:31Joe Rogan?

  He was still huge, though. He could still.

• 1:57:33Speaker 02

  But he got big in the.

• 1:57:34Joe Rogan?

  He got real fat and crazy and just was just shrugged out of his mind. You ever see the video of him singing from Vegas?

• 1:57:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, Unchained, Unchained Melody is incredible.

• 1:57:42Joe Rogan?

  Still amazing. Bloated, dying, still.

• 1:57:47Speaker 02

  His entry, I got something good. He got his entrance, his entrance on some place where it's like.

• 1:57:52Speaker 02

  And he just like walks with, just, he just, just walks here, the mic's there, walks this, is like this, you know, and he's just going back and forth like, and he will take it. And then immediately goes and starts singing. And I'm like, what a fucking entrance.

• 1:58:04Joe Rogan?

  What a fucking entrance.

• 1:58:05Speaker 02

  My whole life, I hated Elvis. I thought he sucked. And then I watched him.

• 1:58:08Speaker 03

  What's the hate?

• 1:58:09Joe Rogan?

  Young Elvis is so in.

• 1:58:11Speaker 02

  I don't know. I guess whoever liked Elvis, I thought was popular.

• 1:58:13Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 1:58:14Joe Rogan?

  It's too obvious.

• 1:58:15Speaker 02

  Watched it.

• 1:58:15Joe Rogan?

  That's it. It's too obvious, but it's really good. It's like ACDC. Like, oh, look, ACDC. Bitch, listen to Long Way to the Top. Listen to that fucking song. It's a long way. If you don't like that song, you don't like America. You don't like freedom. You don't like hard work. Shut the fuck up. It's just, it's too easy. Elvis was too easy.

• 1:58:36Speaker 02

  Fat Unchained Melody.

• 1:58:38Joe Rogan?

  Bro, he was so good. He was so good. Look at him. Look how big he was.

• 1:58:41Speaker 02

  Come on, man.

• 1:58:42Speaker 03

  Damn. Panet.

• 1:58:44Joe Rogan?

  And he wasn't that old.

• 1:58:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, what is he there, forty?

• 1:58:47Joe Rogan?

  Funny we call him that, Pat. He looks better than me.

• 1:58:53Joe Rogan?

  Look at this.

• 1:58:54Speaker 03

  Well, compared to how hot he was. He was like a hot guy.

• 1:58:56Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he was so hot when he was young.

• 1:58:58Speaker 03

  He was like the, the, the first black, white guy.

• 1:59:01Speaker 02

  Is that the general?

• 1:59:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:59:02Speaker 03

  You know, he was like the first Wigger.

• 1:59:04Speaker 02

  Is that the general right there?

• 1:59:06Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 1:59:07Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:59:07Speaker 02

  It's a different guy. Different handle it?

• 1:59:08Joe Rogan?

  No, I think that's one of his musicians.

• 1:59:10Speaker 02

  So I heard Dolly talking about him.

• 1:59:12Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he's cranked out of his fucking mind, Dolly. Dolly Lama? Oh, this is nice.

• 1:59:25Speaker 04

  Two weeks to be on?

• 1:59:26Speaker 02

  He's no different than Winehouse late. Wow!

• 1:59:29Joe Rogan?

  You're thinking, "How's this guy gonna do this?" You're thinking, "He's out of his mind." "He's in another dimension right now." Is he on uppers or downers?

• 1:59:37Speaker 02

  You can hear how quiet the room is, they're going, "God damn." This is like O'Connor before he goes on drunk.

• 1:59:42Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:59:42Speaker 02

  He's like, "He'll be fine." "He'll figure it out."

• 1:59:45Speaker 01

  That's funny, this is the... I'll tell you in a second. I was nervous about...

• 1:59:50Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 1:59:51Joe Rogan?

  Cranked out of his mind, listen how good this is.

• 1:59:54Speaker 02

  Wow!

• 1:59:54Joe Rogan?

  Wow!

• 1:59:59Joe Rogan?

  They can't get a mic stand?

• 2:00:03Speaker 02

  That's the point.

• 2:00:05Speaker 02

  Wow!

• 2:00:31Joe Rogan?

  Goddamn! That's so good! Wow, so good!

• 2:00:37Speaker 01

  It was, uh...

• 2:00:39Joe Rogan?

  Man, you imagine him shitting?

• 2:00:41Speaker 01

  McKeever before my special...

• 2:00:43Joe Rogan?

  Goddamn, that's good.

• 2:00:44Speaker 01

  He made that exact joke about O'Connor, like... He was like, "The only way you can fuck this special up is if you like blackout before the show." And then even then, it'd be like Fat Elvis on Jane Mall. It's like, "Crush it." He'd go in the green room, I'm like...

• 2:00:56Joe Rogan?

  Get on stage, just crush it.

• 2:01:02Joe Rogan?

  Goddamn, that was good. I mean, if you heard that guy talking before the... If you were in the audience, like, "Oh no, we came to the wrong night."

• 2:01:08Speaker 01

  You see them going, "Is this song out yet?" And they go, "Two weeks, guys."

• 2:01:11Speaker 02

  It's just pure talent that'll overcome the...

• 2:01:14Joe Rogan?

  Look how sweaty he is, dude. So chubby. Give me some more of this, Jamie.

• 2:01:23Speaker 02

  He's launching this song right now? Like, he's showing it to them. He's like, "I know you're about to hear it all-timer."

• 2:01:27Joe Rogan?

  They haven't even heard it yet. Whoa!

• 2:01:38Speaker 03

  That's a fucker, damn!

• 2:02:03Speaker 03

  Greatest roadie's crust.

• 2:02:17Speaker 03

  Woo! Still hits.

• 2:02:26Speaker 03

  God damn! You guys are allegedly on mushrooms, that must have been fucking nice.

• 2:02:32Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god, it's so good.

• 2:02:34Speaker 03

  That is one fat talent.

• 2:02:35Joe Rogan?

  That's what we live for. We live for tho- like, if you could belt out one of them moments in your life, you did it.

• 2:02:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:02:42Joe Rogan?

  One of those moments, I mean, this guy had a ton of them. But one of those moments, and nobody had ever gotten that famous before. Nobody had ever, like, nobody gets that famous-

• 2:02:50Speaker 03

  Faint out of your sight.

• 2:02:51Joe Rogan?

  Ever, and doesn't go crazy. But nobody had ever gotten that famous before Elvis. He was the first.

• 2:02:57Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's also, you go to his house, it's not that big. Oh, right. Like, your house is probably the same size as Elvis's. No, it's pretty nice. His house is bigger.

• 2:03:04Joe Rogan?

  Come on, man.

• 2:03:05Speaker 03

  Who?

• 2:03:06Joe Rogan?

  Come on.

• 2:03:06Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 2:03:07Joe Rogan?

  I live in a big ass house, man.

• 2:03:08Speaker 03

  Oh, okay. Hey, come on, man. Come on, watch me do a little jujitsu.

• 2:03:11Joe Rogan?

  First of all, which house?

• 2:03:15Speaker 03

  I was just saying, you see, like, little bow-wow on your face. He's got a suburban house. Seven- It's just like, house in the burbs.

• 2:03:20Joe Rogan?

  That's all, I've always said, you don't need a big house. If I was by myself, I'd have a regular house.

• 2:03:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, you would.

• 2:03:26Joe Rogan?

  I don't, you don't need, it's all nonsense, it's just where you live. That's the first thing I figured out when I came to Hollywood. I was 27 years old, that was the first time I ever had a nice apartment in my life. I had a loft, I had a fucking pool table, I was like, this is sick! And then I got, and then I'm like, oh, this is just where I live. I felt like, oh, I'm like, that's another trick you gotta be aware of. Like, this idea of always getting a bigger, better, you never appreciate it. It's always just where you live. Hmm. This is all you need, a place that's safe, that has a TV. There you go. You have a kitchen, you have a TV.

• 2:03:56Speaker 02

  No playground next to you to wake you up.

• 2:03:57Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you don't want anything crazy and loud, you don't want it near a train station.

• 2:04:00Speaker 02

  Buying a house, and I'm like, I'm literally just gonna hang out in two rooms.

• 2:04:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:04:04Speaker 02

  I'm gonna walk from my bed to the fucking couch.

• 2:04:06Joe Rogan?

  The only time it changes is if you have a family. You have a family, then you want a yard, then you want a pool, then you want a lot of things. You want a lot of things.

• 2:04:12Speaker 02

  You wanna have a night.

• 2:04:13Joe Rogan?

  Or if you want a dog.

• 2:04:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, you wanna have a room to be like, ah, I don't know where to put this. I'll just shove it in that extra room.

• 2:04:18Joe Rogan?

  My garage is fucked.

• 2:04:19Speaker 02

  Oh, well.

• 2:04:20Joe Rogan?

  I've always had dogs, so I always have a big yard. I'm like, that's the thing, can't have a dog, that's why, the only reason why I'd never bought Crest Hill. The, the house above the store. The, the Mitzi house. Yes, I went to look at it. Uh, cause it was like, Sam Kinison used to live there. I'm like, this would be crazy to own this fucking house, but I had a crazy dog, and that yard was too little. I was like, he'll find a way out.

• 2:04:41Speaker 02

  Sam Kinison pissed on Marc Maron's bed up there.

• 2:04:43Joe Rogan?

  Nice. Whoa, what the fuck? Imagine if that was on YouTube, that'd have a hundred million views.

• 2:04:50Speaker 02

  All over his bed, just standing up.

• 2:04:52Joe Rogan?

  Wow, that's a credit. That's Mark's territory. That's what your cat does, that's why you gotta give him spade.

• 2:05:00Joe Rogan?

  Easy. Spade new to your pets, I'm Bob Barker.

• 2:05:04Speaker 02

  Wow, what a weird thing he had. That was his big call.

• 2:05:07Joe Rogan?

  That was his big thing.

• 2:05:08Speaker 02

  That's what Australia was.

• 2:05:10Joe Rogan?

  He's spade new to your pets.

• 2:05:11Speaker 02

  Every episode, five a week.

• 2:05:13Joe Rogan?

  Turn your dog's trans. Everyone, turn your dog's trans, it's important to have a trans dog. How about just don't let your dog fuck random dogs?

• 2:05:20Speaker 02

  Especially when your name's Bob Barker?

• 2:05:21Joe Rogan?

  Oh, shit, I never put that together.

• 2:05:25Speaker 02

  What a fucking freak.

• 2:05:26Joe Rogan?

  What a freak, what a freak, what was his real name?

• 2:05:31Joe Rogan?

  Cat Stevens.

• 2:05:35Speaker 01

  That's not a good joke.

• 2:05:38Joe Rogan?

  It's a good joke.

• 2:05:39Speaker 02

  This is a little fucked up.

• 2:05:41Joe Rogan?

  It's a solid joke. Come on, that made me laugh. In this room, that's a solid joke.

• 2:05:46Speaker 02

  Right now, it's good.

• 2:05:47Joe Rogan?

  With three people laughing, that's a solid, you have an audience of three. Jamie, were you laughing at that?

• 2:05:53Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:05:53Speaker 02

  Jamie's still pissed about that guy.

• 2:05:57Speaker 05

  Did you see that, uh, Stan Hope had uploaded a pilot they found of the Mitch Hedberg project that they made back in 2001?

• 2:06:04Joe Rogan?

  No way.

• 2:06:05Speaker 05

  It's on a YouTube channel they put up like yesterday.

• 2:06:07Joe Rogan?

  Oh, cool.

• 2:06:07Speaker 02

  This looks like it's about to be some Sam Hyde stuff.

• 2:06:09Speaker 05

  That's like a TV show they made.

• 2:06:10Joe Rogan?

  Oh, cool.

• 2:06:11Speaker 01

  Sam Hyde stuff.

• 2:06:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, it's like, what madness is this?

• 2:06:14Joe Rogan?

  You know that Sam Hyde thing where he sits down just with the fucking, the chair and is like breaking down things that are going on in the world?

• 2:06:19Speaker 02

  Oh, no, I don't know that.

• 2:06:20Joe Rogan?

  You ever seen that video?

• 2:06:21Speaker 02

  Are you on Moms?

• 2:06:22Joe Rogan?

  It went, it went fucking viral. You've seen it, right?

• 2:06:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm friends with him. I was, he's doing his-

• 2:06:26Joe Rogan?

  Great video.

• 2:06:27Speaker 01

  He's doing his premiere for Million Dollar Extreme 2 in Austin on Sunday.

• 2:06:31Joe Rogan?

  What does that mean?

• 2:06:32Speaker 01

  They had a, they had a sketch show called Million Dollar Extreme.

• 2:06:35Speaker 02

  It was funny.

• 2:06:35Speaker 01

  And it got cancelled off Adult Swim.

• 2:06:37Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's right.

• 2:06:38Speaker 01

  And now they, they've made it again and I, I was supposed to go.

• 2:06:41Joe Rogan?

  He's a little too wild.

• 2:06:42Speaker 01

  He's a wild fucking boy.

• 2:06:43Joe Rogan?

  He's a little wild.

• 2:06:45Speaker 02

  But that, you see Moms or Mothers? What is it?

• 2:06:47Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:06:48Speaker 02

  That's a brilliant one.

• 2:06:49Speaker 01

  It's-

• 2:06:49Joe Rogan?

  What is it?

• 2:06:50Speaker 02

  He writes a script, realizes he can get some local, I'll try to be an actress to read the lines, so they're like, oh, well, let's write crazy lines. And they're reading these lines not knowing what it is, and he goes, it's something like, yes, I am the curly haired one.

• 2:07:04Joe Rogan?

  I think we should try to fuck the curly haired one.

• 2:07:07Speaker 01

  No, it's, it's, it's crazy.

• 2:07:09Speaker 02

  It's like, and they're just like trying not to laugh so hard.

• 2:07:12Speaker 01

  But him and Nick, Nick Rocheford's one of the funniest dudes I've ever met. Char, those guys-

• 2:07:17Speaker 02

  They're doing some wild stuff, locking a bunch of homeless people in a, in a fucking-

• 2:07:20Speaker 01

  Well, I don't agree with all this.

• 2:07:21Speaker 02

  Room and just let's watch them.

• 2:07:23Speaker 01

  Hold on, hold on.

• 2:07:23Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 2:07:24Speaker 01

  I don't agree with all this.

• 2:07:25Speaker 02

  I think this one's wild. I love it.

• 2:07:26Joe Rogan?

  Like bum fights, you mean?

• 2:07:27Speaker 01

  No, you're talking Fish Tank.

• 2:07:28Speaker 02

  Bum Liv. It's just like, it's, it's Real World.

• 2:07:31Speaker 01

  You're saying Fish Tank?

• 2:07:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's Real World. You get the craziest people put together-

• 2:07:35Joe Rogan?

  Isn't it funny like Real World's okay because they're only mildly mentally ill?

• 2:07:38Speaker 02

  But they always got a racist and a black on Real World. And like, let's put them in.

• 2:07:41Joe Rogan?

  Producers, they know how to make drama.

• 2:07:43Speaker 02

  That's what he's doing.

• 2:07:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:07:45Speaker 02

  Fish Tank.

• 2:07:46Joe Rogan?

  I mean, if you're gonna make a show, you can't just have a bunch of people hanging out, having a good time.

• 2:07:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:07:50Joe Rogan?

  You need a bunch of catfights.

• 2:07:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's fucking friends.

• 2:07:52Joe Rogan?

  Even the Kardashians went after each other.

• 2:07:56Joe Rogan?

  Remember that?

• 2:08:00Joe Rogan?

  They, they're in the hallway, one of them threw a leg kick.

• 2:08:05Speaker 02

  Joe was watching, commentating.

• 2:08:08Joe Rogan?

  People know how to throw leg kicks now. That's like a new thing with street fights. People throw leg kicks.

• 2:08:13Speaker 02

  I saw it after, uh. Who was with me? It was, it was, uh, Patriots versus, um, Broncos. So there's some fucking drunk Boston fans who were leaving and somebody, some old man talked some shit to him.

• 2:08:28Speaker 02

  About luck next time. He's like, shut your mouth. He goes, easy, bro. And then just leg kick to the face, knocked him out.

• 2:08:35Speaker 02

  Oh, to the leg.

• 2:08:36Speaker 01

  A leg kick.

• 2:08:37Joe Rogan?

  Using the leg.

• 2:08:42Joe Rogan?

  He opened up with a head kick?

• 2:08:44Speaker 02

  He just spun and kicked him. It was like, this guy was like a nice Denver resident.

• 2:08:49Speaker 03

  You never know who knows that jujitsu shit now.

• 2:08:51Joe Rogan?

  He's hit him with a wheel kick or spun around?

• 2:08:57Joe Rogan?

  Kick in front of his wife?

• 2:08:59Speaker 02

  They were like, he was like sixty.

• 2:09:00Joe Rogan?

  Oh, no. Yeah, you can't do that.

• 2:09:02Speaker 03

  Sixty?

• 2:09:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was pretty brutal.

• 2:09:04Joe Rogan?

  Die and then you go to jail for the rest of your life for looking cool.

• 2:09:07Speaker 02

  I think it was me and Simone.

• 2:09:11Joe Rogan?

  So dangerous.

• 2:09:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I, the karate guys and MMA guys should not be allowed to drink.

• 2:09:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, true.

• 2:09:18Joe Rogan?

  They're usually pretty cool. With something, well, he doesn't do anything. He's sober. Sean Strickland.

• 2:09:22Speaker 01

  If I could, if I could do a cool kick.

• 2:09:25Speaker 02

  You're doing it.

• 2:09:26Speaker 01

  I'm fucking kicking everybody. Second I start drinking, I go, what'd you fucking say, Jamie, about Ohio State, you motherfucker?

• 2:09:35Speaker 01

  Oh, Jamie, can you bring up, uh, Michigan walking into Ohio State Stadium?

• 2:09:39Speaker 03

  Nice change of subject.

• 2:09:41Joe Rogan?

  The thing is though, I don't think you would do it if you could do it.

• 2:09:44Speaker 01

  True, yeah, I guess it humbles you a little, yeah, you don't care.

• 2:09:46Joe Rogan?

  I could do it, I don't do it to anybody.

• 2:09:48Speaker 02

  That's what I noticed about going to UFC's, the backstage stuff, is they're so quiet and just very chill, meek people.

• 2:09:55Joe Rogan?

  Very nice.

• 2:09:55Speaker 01

  I don't know, I've hung out with Nate a lot.

• 2:09:59Speaker 02

  He's a different animal.

• 2:10:00Joe Rogan?

  But that's also why he's such a superstar, everybody loves him, because he's, he's the same guy.

• 2:10:04Speaker 01

  It's also why he's great.

• 2:10:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:10:06Speaker 01

  Fighting.

• 2:10:07Joe Rogan?

  Absolutely, genuinely doesn't give a fuck.

• 2:10:09Speaker 01

  Leon Edwards is my favorite fight.

• 2:10:10Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, when he, when he cracked him with the left hand, then pointed at him, like, oh, I got you.

• 2:10:15Speaker 01

  For four straight rounds, Leon's doing moves.

• 2:10:18Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:10:18Speaker 01

  Like, trying shit.

• 2:10:19Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:10:20Speaker 01

  Spinning elbow to the forehead and Nate just goes.

• 2:10:23Joe Rogan?

  Oh, we're doing spin shit?

• 2:10:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, fucking gay ass spin. Fucking gay bullshit, come here.

• 2:10:30Joe Rogan?

  I heard he's, he's trying to come back to the UFC.

• 2:10:33Speaker 01

  Nate?

• 2:10:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I was reading articles, I don't know if it's substantiated, but.

• 2:10:36Speaker 02

  Money's there.

• 2:10:36Joe Rogan?

  Looking for, fuck yeah.

• 2:10:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:10:38Joe Rogan?

  That guy?

• 2:10:39Speaker 02

  One of those popular all the time.

• 2:10:40Joe Rogan?

  That guy shows up.

• 2:10:41Speaker 01

  He'll fight anyone.

• 2:10:41Joe Rogan?

  Bro, I was always said that he was the most underappreciated superstar during the Conor McGregor times.

• 2:10:46Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:10:47Joe Rogan?

  I was like, you guys are missing out, like, you got Conor McGregor, but Nate Diaz just beat him and said, "I'm not surprised, motherfucker."

• 2:10:54Speaker 02

  Yeah. Not just like, I can't believe it, it wasn't Storm the Field guy.

• 2:10:57Joe Rogan?

  "I'm not surprised, motherfucker."

• 2:10:59Speaker 02

  What the fuck's a gazelle?

• 2:11:01Speaker 01

  That was what got me, that's what got me into the sport.

• 2:11:03Speaker 02

  What about this, I was at that one with Epstein. Oh.

• 2:11:06Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god, amazing, yeah.

• 2:11:08Speaker 02

  It was like, what? Epstein. This, this jujitsu guy.

• 2:11:12Joe Rogan?

  He caught, he caught a dude in a triangle, caught a dude in a triangle, and then did a double flex.

• 2:11:18Speaker 01

  He's telling the cameras?

• 2:11:19Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, while he had him in a triangle, like, fully locked up, and had him tapped.

• 2:11:23Speaker 02

  Einstein, Einstein. Damn.

• 2:11:25Joe Rogan?

  Amazing, he was amazing.

• 2:11:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, his name is Einstein.

• 2:11:27Speaker 01

  Nice going, Einstein.

• 2:11:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, I messed up his name. What does he do in offseason? How's he make money?

• 2:11:32Joe Rogan?

  Nate, well, he, he got, something happened, he had a boxing match with Jorge Masvidal.

• 2:11:39Speaker 01

  He won.

• 2:11:40Joe Rogan?

  And he won, but they didn't give him the money, I think he's got a big, yeah, I think, see if that got resolved. There's a, there was a crazy thi- you know, you have these fly-by-night promotions and sometimes they're not funded correctly.

• 2:11:53Speaker 02

  Like any black room, like we'll send you the check and like, give it to me now. Give it to me now.

• 2:11:58Joe Rogan?

  That is the wrong show.

• 2:11:59Speaker 01

  I don't know what you're talking about.

• 2:12:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, right.

• 2:12:01Speaker 01

  Jay, delete all the stuff I said about Hillary.

• 2:12:03Joe Rogan?

  Bro, I had that with a mob club I used to work for in Connecticut. You get paid if you're lucky.

• 2:12:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, if you're lucky. I saw you almost fucking beat a guy in Vancouver Island.

• 2:12:12Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:12:12Speaker 02

  He's like, I'll send it to you later. I've never seen him before because I were always, the checks were always from him. They're coming.

• 2:12:17Joe Rogan?

  What happened?

• 2:12:18Speaker 02

  Give me my money. He goes, no, we gotta send it. He goes, bro, he went into the back.

• 2:12:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's like, no, no, no, no, no.

• 2:12:23Speaker 02

  Write the check now. Pay me now.

• 2:12:25Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that guy was, that was su- guy was super sketchy. Talking about his balance and his, what are you talking about?

• 2:12:32Speaker 01

  These have to clear.

• 2:12:34Joe Rogan?

  Sues reported nine million dollars. So they robbed him out of nine million bucks. Pre-fight deal in place. Promoter, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, so he beat him, but he's owed nine million dollars. I hope he gets his money.

• 2:12:46Speaker 02

  Me too.

• 2:12:47Joe Rogan?

  Damn.

• 2:12:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, also, he's doing alright.

• 2:12:48Joe Rogan?

  It's hard to get money out of a person that doesn't have any money, though.

• 2:12:51Speaker 01

  That's impossible.

• 2:12:51Joe Rogan?

  That's the problem. You get an old Ferrari. He could have his stuff.

• 2:12:55Speaker 01

  But Nate, Nate does, uh, they do like, uh, jujitsu shit. They'll do like, uh...

• 2:13:01Joe Rogan?

  Seminars.

• 2:13:01Speaker 01

  What's that? Yeah.

• 2:13:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he does a lot of seminars. Makes plenty of money doing seminars. Nate's a legit jujitsu black belt.

• 2:13:08Speaker 02

  Purple. He always say purple, right? He'd always like, as he was doing this, he'd be like, I'm just a purple belt.

• 2:13:13Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 2:13:13Speaker 02

  Like, shut up, dude.

• 2:13:15Joe Rogan?

  He was, and his brother was one of the best of all time.

• 2:13:18Speaker 01

  That was always cool, him, because anytime I've hung out with Nate, I've never hung out with Nick, but they always, he talks about Nick with this reverence.

• 2:13:26Joe Rogan?

  There was a time.

• 2:13:27Speaker 01

  That I've never seen anything like it.

• 2:13:29Joe Rogan?

  People missed it because most of it happened in the Strikeforce days and, you know, it was a small, yeah, Nick's prime. Nick's prime, he was a bad motherfucker, dude. He was a terrifying guy because he had the most insane cardio that's ever existed. He's, this guy swam from Alcatraz to the shore. He swam five times. What? Five, I said he swam, and he corrected me online. He said five times. Since then, he's probably swam a bunch more. So it's probably like 10 times now. Holy shit. Swim from Alcatraz in the ocean with the sharks. The thing that was supposed to keep people from ever escaping that island. People voluntarily do it and he's done it a ton of times. Train bad. His fucking cardio was off the charts and you just couldn't keep his pace.

• 2:14:13Joe Rogan?

  He'd put a pace on you and hit you with like 50% punches. Yeah. 50% punches, but constantly having your face wise talking shit. What are you gonna do bitch? What you gonna do bitch? Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And then every now and then rip one to the body, rip one to the body, pop, pop, pop. And you're exhausted and you can't breathe because when someone's punching you, you can't take a breath. So even if he's only punching you like this, you're you're all tense, he's relaxed. He's a better boxer than you, he's better at jiu-jitsu. What are you gonna do? You gonna take him down? Like, what are you gonna do? And that's, yeah, I didn't know that.

• 2:14:42Speaker 02

  How did he ever lose when he lost?

• 2:14:43Joe Rogan?

  It got to a point where later in his career. Same here.

• 2:14:47Speaker 02

  Early though.

• 2:14:47Joe Rogan?

  Everybody slows down, but in Strikeforce, he was in his prime, like Frank Shamrock. Nick Diaz versus Frank Shamrock in, in Strikeforce, a great example.

• 2:14:56Speaker 03

  Whoa, that's a fight.

• 2:14:58Speaker 02

  He beat Shamrock.

• 2:14:59Joe Rogan?

  He beat his ass.

• 2:14:59Speaker 02

  Well, when he lost in his prime, why, how did he lose?

• 2:15:02Joe Rogan?

  Well, he didn't really lose in his prime. Well, he, he might've lost a couple of decisions in his prime in like three rounders. I'd have to like go back and look at it, but like he submitted Gomi, which was like this huge thing in Pride with a gogo plata, like off of his back while he was high. He tested, he tested positive so, he was tested so positive after the fight that like he had to be fighting high.

• 2:15:25Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 2:15:25Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, and

• 2:15:26Speaker 02

  He'd be like, yeah.

• 2:15:27Joe Rogan?

  Fuck yeah, fight high, let's go bitch.

• 2:15:30Speaker 03

  That new Rock movie looks fun.

• 2:15:32Joe Rogan?

  Oh, the Smashing Machine?

• 2:15:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's not gay. But, uh, yeah, the trailer is amazing.

• 2:15:39Speaker 02

  Jamie, bring up Michigan walking on the field versus Ohio State.

• 2:15:42Speaker 03

  Oh shit.

• 2:15:44Speaker 02

  He won't do it.

• 2:15:46Speaker 03

  He has the laptop.

• 2:15:47Speaker 05

  We won, we're living high right now. We don't need to

• 2:15:50Speaker 02

  What'd you win? You beat Michigan?

• 2:15:51Speaker 05

  No, we won the national championship.

• 2:15:52Joe Rogan?

  What's this wee shit?

• 2:15:53Speaker 02

  There's a lot of wee shit.

• 2:15:55Joe Rogan?

  A lot of wee shit going on.

• 2:15:56Speaker 01

  We did it, we fucking did it. Yeah, me and Nate almost beat Leon.

• 2:16:01Speaker 01

  Man, when I slapped him, it was crazy.

• 2:16:04Speaker 03

  We got the belt.

• 2:16:05Joe Rogan?

  Uh, the bitch slaps. That was the other thing. He'd hit you with bitch slaps.

• 2:16:10Speaker 01

  It's crazy. I didn't, I never thought about the, cause his punches were like, I didn't know they were 50% like that.

• 2:16:15Joe Rogan?

  Oh yeah.

• 2:16:15Speaker 01

  It's like you just can't breathe.

• 2:16:16Speaker 02

  Because if he went full, he'd tire himself out.

• 2:16:18Joe Rogan?

  Exactly.

• 2:16:19Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 2:16:19Joe Rogan?

  So he's putting a pace on you that you can't keep up with.

• 2:16:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:16:21Joe Rogan?

  And he's not hitting you at full blast. Like Nick would throw kicks, like for fun. They were silly kicks. Like they didn't, they were never gonna hit you. He would throw like, he would pretend to throw like a wheel kick or throw a high kick. He wasn't even trying to hit you. He was just trying to put something in your face. Put something in your face and then let it, you know that he's so relaxed in there with you, he'll throw silly kicks at you.

• 2:16:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:16:42Joe Rogan?

  And just beat you up.

• 2:16:43Speaker 03

  I might go to that New Orleans fight. I think, uh, Poirier's fighting again.

• 2:16:47Joe Rogan?

  Yes, Poirier's gonna fight Max Holloway, right?

• 2:16:50Speaker 03

  Ooh, that's a hot one.

• 2:16:52Joe Rogan?

  Ooh, that's the last fight of his career, right?

• 2:16:54Speaker 03

  Uh oh.

• 2:16:55Joe Rogan?

  That's in New Orleans.

• 2:16:56Speaker 03

  Maybe.

• 2:16:56Joe Rogan?

  Exactly.

• 2:16:57Speaker 02

  Holloway's or Poirier's?

• 2:16:58Joe Rogan?

  Well, Poirier's got, he wanted one more and he wanted a legend, so they got a Max Holloway.

• 2:17:02Speaker 02

  I think Max Holloway might be the number one guy for fights in the stands.

• 2:17:07Joe Rogan?

  Oh, really?

• 2:17:07Speaker 03

  Really?

• 2:17:08Speaker 02

  All the whole, he's Hawaiian?

• 2:17:09Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:17:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, they, they go.

• 2:17:11Speaker 01

  They love fucking fighting.

• 2:17:13Speaker 02

  And you're always in the 300.

• 2:17:16Joe Rogan?

  Think of the genes, they just people.

• 2:17:17Speaker 01

  Get him a couple of fucking Coronas up there. Here's some Medellas, dude.

• 2:17:20Speaker 02

  Like smuggled in, little airplane bottles and then like, "What are you fucking talking about Holloway? Are you talking about Holloway?"

• 2:17:25Speaker 01

  Talking about Hawaii? Dude, I've never been there.

• 2:17:28Speaker 03

  Hawaiians are terrifying.

• 2:17:30Joe Rogan?

  The ancestors of people that had the balls to get out in the ocean. Get out in a fucking homemade canoe and make it across the ocean to an island.

• 2:17:38Speaker 01

  That's why I was hoping I had Viking, dude. I don't.

• 2:17:42Speaker 01

  Farmer.

• 2:17:43Joe Rogan?

  Just a farmer.

• 2:17:44Speaker 01

  A billion years of just going.

• 2:17:46Speaker 03

  Pass out a fucking.

• 2:17:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, fucking farmers are coming in.

• 2:17:50Speaker 03

  Farmers only.

• 2:17:54Joe Rogan?

  What a crazy dating app that is. Farmers only.

• 2:17:57Speaker 03

  I know. It basically means whites only.

• 2:17:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, they should have just gone.

• 2:18:00Speaker 03

  That's all that is.

• 2:18:01Speaker 02

  It's a, how do you say it without saying it?

• 2:18:03Speaker 03

  Not all black farmers, unless you're talking weed.

• 2:18:05Joe Rogan?

  I got good news and bad news, daddy.

• 2:18:08Speaker 01

  Found a farmer.

• 2:18:10Joe Rogan?

  His name's Ty Row.

• 2:18:13Joe Rogan?

  He grows weed.

• 2:18:14Speaker 03

  It's only watermelon. I don't know what the hell.

• 2:18:18Speaker 01

  It's worse than usual.

• 2:18:19Speaker 03

  Sorry, we've been drinking.

• 2:18:22Joe Rogan?

  Isn't it crazy that delicious food is racist?

• 2:18:24Speaker 03

  Chicken, watermelon, they're both great. I love them both.

• 2:18:27Joe Rogan?

  It doesn't work with any other race. You can't, you make fun of Italians for pizza and no one, Irish potatoes, no one cares. That was super sensitive.

• 2:18:35Speaker 01

  Fish.

• 2:18:35Joe Rogan?

  And but the thing is, it's also foods that everybody loves. I know. Delicious. They're like, how how did that happen? Well, like if you bring up fried chicken and black people, you're a piece of shit, but like, doesn't everybody love fried chicken? Chappelle has a bit about it.

• 2:18:50Speaker 01

  It's the best.

• 2:18:51Joe Rogan?

  He does. It's a great bit.

• 2:18:53Speaker 01

  No, I was talking about fried chicken.

• 2:18:54Joe Rogan?

  It's so good. You ever go to Gus's in town? Gus's fried chicken? Oh, it's so good.

• 2:18:59Speaker 01

  I try to genuinely actually avoid fried chicken.

• 2:19:02Joe Rogan?

  It'll kill you. I love it. I grew up on Popeyes and it'll weigh you down. We used to get Roscoe's when I was in LA, Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. Oh my god. It's so good. With butter and the syrup and then you got the hot sauce with the chicken and oh. Doggy. Oh. That's good stuff. It's so good. Diabetes. It's coming, but not today. Not today, dude. Today is mouth pleasure.

• 2:19:28Speaker 01

  I was, bro, I thought that diabetes was coming.

• 2:19:31Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but you're not. You're good.

• 2:19:32Speaker 01

  I got that fucking solid. Ways to well, I was like, I gotta at least be prediabetic.

• 2:19:36Joe Rogan?

  Nah, you got those fucking Irish jeans, son. You got the full ride.

• 2:19:40Speaker 01

  Diabetes will do fucking nothing.

• 2:19:42Joe Rogan?

  Do nothing. You know what'll get us?

• 2:19:45Speaker 01

  Eventually he lost.

• 2:19:47Joe Rogan?

  I'm in your wife's DMs. You know what he'll get us is the gout. The gout's coming for us.

• 2:19:52Speaker 01

  When I heard the.

• 2:19:53Joe Rogan?

  Gout?

• 2:19:53Speaker 01

  Gout for fatties, isn't it?

• 2:19:55Joe Rogan?

  No, no, Kyle Kanaan has the gout. What is it? How do you get gout? No. I think it's a booze.

• 2:20:00Speaker 01

  Red meat and beer.

• 2:20:01Joe Rogan?

  That's it. It's a booze and thing. Barbecue and beer? Gout. Meat. It's the king's disease.

• 2:20:07Speaker 01

  Yes. Meat?

• 2:20:08Joe Rogan?

  But what is the real cause?

• 2:20:10Speaker 01

  Fucking red meat. It's like, uh, no, it's like.

• 2:20:11Joe Rogan?

  Literally all I eat. Uh oh. I eat ninety percent red meat. Wait, wait, wait. Are you sober? Yeah. Dog, for three months.

• 2:20:20Speaker 01

  Sober from alcohol.

• 2:20:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:20:22Speaker 01

  Be clear.

• 2:20:23Joe Rogan?

  And according to the law, everything else.

• 2:20:25Speaker 01

  And nothing else today.

• 2:20:26Joe Rogan?

  Gout known as disease of kings, a type of arthritis characterized by painful swelling and inflammation of the joints. Often the big toe. Ow, caused by a buildup of uric acid in the body, leading to formation of urate crystals in the joints. Ew. Linked to lavish diets and alcohol consumption of wealthy individuals, including royalty. I guarantee you, it's the it's the alcohol.

• 2:20:47Speaker 01

  And not moving.

• 2:20:48Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's not. It has nothing to do with meat.

• 2:20:50Speaker 01

  Tell you what, first time I saw that description, I went.

• 2:20:54Joe Rogan?

  Ooh, I'm getting it.

• 2:20:55Speaker 01

  That's the one that's gonna get it.

• 2:20:56Joe Rogan?

  It's coming, crystallize my joints.

• 2:21:01Speaker 03

  Wait, are you going to church too, or is that bullshit?

• 2:21:03Joe Rogan?

  I have been to church.

• 2:21:04Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck.

• 2:21:05Speaker 01

  Why?

• 2:21:06Joe Rogan?

  Have you ever been to church before?

• 2:21:07Speaker 03

  I've been.

• 2:21:08Joe Rogan?

  It's actually very nice. They're all just trying to be better people. It's a good vibe.

• 2:21:12Speaker 01

  Why don't you go to a Catholic church?

• 2:21:14Joe Rogan?

  I tried that. I did that.

• 2:21:16Speaker 01

  I went to St. Pat's in New York.

• 2:21:18Speaker 03

  That's a beautiful place.

• 2:21:19Speaker 01

  So nice. Some guy gave me a rosary. I keep it.

• 2:21:23Speaker 03

  If it's not Catholic, what is which one is it?

• 2:21:25Joe Rogan?

  It's just a Christian church.

• 2:21:26Speaker 01

  A non-denominational Christian. Yeah, all this fucking Jewish.

• 2:21:29Speaker 03

  Joel Osteen shit?

• 2:21:30Joe Rogan?

  Nah, yeah, I'm just giving all my money to Osteen. Animal proteins such as pork, red meat, shellfish, and oily fish are high in purines, making individuals susceptible to gout.

• 2:21:39Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 2:21:40Joe Rogan?

  Huh.

• 2:21:41Speaker 03

  No shellfish.

• 2:21:42Joe Rogan?

  Additionally, alcohol reduces the metabolism of uric acid, enhances disease condition.

• 2:21:47Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 2:21:48Speaker 01

  It's both, right?

• 2:21:49Joe Rogan?

  I guarantee it's the alcohol.

• 2:21:51Speaker 03

  And we're getting a steak tonight. I have to drink it all day.

• 2:21:52Joe Rogan?

  The problem is, the alcohol fucking lobby probably said, yeah, it's the meat, the meat, bro. It's just like they did with sugar. You know, the sugar lobby's like, actually, it's not us. It's saturated fat that's causing all these heart attacks to happen often.

• 2:22:06Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:22:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's a long COVID. It has nothing to do with us. It has nothing to do with us. It's long COVID. You're getting cancer because of COVID. It's all the COVID got you.

• 2:22:19Speaker 03

  That was a new strain. You see that?

• 2:22:20Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:22:20Speaker 01

  Of what?

• 2:22:22Speaker 03

  COVID.

• 2:22:22Speaker 01

  Come on. You're lying.

• 2:22:24Joe Rogan?

  It's a new one coming out of China.

• 2:22:25Speaker 01

  There's always a new strain.

• 2:22:26Joe Rogan?

  It's a new release. It's a mixtape.

• 2:22:28Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 2:22:29Joe Rogan?

  It's Beastie Boys' lost mixtape.

• 2:22:32Speaker 01

  COVID hasn't been good since 2019, dude. They fell off.

• 2:22:35Joe Rogan?

  They got a new producer.

• 2:22:37Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 2:22:37Joe Rogan?

  They got a new producer with better beats. This one gets the kids.

• 2:22:42Speaker 01

  It only gets kids.

• 2:22:43Joe Rogan?

  It's catchy with the kids. They call it the Fauci.

• 2:22:47Speaker 01

  Kids is a big one. They always throw kids at you to make you like, oh, I guess we have to fucking take care.

• 2:22:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I gotta take care of the old people. What about grandma? What about, where are you from? I saw someone on Twitter saying, you literally killed my mother, to people who are out there doing shows.

• 2:22:59Speaker 01

  Less than 20.

• 2:23:00Speaker 03

  Oh, less than 20, alright.

• 2:23:01Speaker 01

  We're back, dude.

• 2:23:02Joe Rogan?

  20 cases of the new variant had reported in the US.

• 2:23:04Speaker 03

  Sweetest thing in China.

• 2:23:06Joe Rogan?

  That's how it happened in Seattle, remember? You heard about the guy, or Portland, where was it? The first case in the United States?

• 2:23:11Speaker 01

  Of what?

• 2:23:12Joe Rogan?

  Somewhere in the Northwest. Someone had come over from China, and they gave the Wuhan. They they gave it over there and that's the first cases. And. And those people don't got no sunlight, so they're they got zero vitamin D. They're susceptible.

• 2:23:24Speaker 02

  I hope that monkeypox joke worked in your storytelling show.

• 2:23:27Joe Rogan?

  Look at this. Look how they described this. Look at this.

• 2:23:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was really, it was actually really funny. We were all like, talk about it afterwards. It's like, it's so silly.

• 2:23:35Joe Rogan?

  Describe this a slightly upgraded version.

• 2:23:37Speaker 02

  I forgot about it. That was really funny.

• 2:23:39Joe Rogan?

  See, upgraded. The slightly upgraded version of the variant that's prominent right now. Oh, God. Subhash Verma. Somebody at the mothership got, oh, Ron.

• 2:23:48Speaker 02

  Bred to be a scientist.

• 2:23:49Joe Rogan?

  Ron got the COVID recently. He got the COVID and it whacked him for like a week. Really? A week? Yeah, fucking smokes twenty cigars a day. Easy.

• 2:23:58Speaker 02

  He inhales cigars.

• 2:23:59Joe Rogan?

  He got the vax too. He got the jab.

• 2:24:02Speaker 02

  Thank God. She would have been way worse for him.

• 2:24:07Joe Rogan?

  Isn't that a funny thing?

• 2:24:09Speaker 02

  The thing, it could have been worse. It's so, but my sister flipped her car once when she was in high school and she was totally fine and um total the car, the cigarette lighter was the only thing that's salvageable. She was fine, wasn't wearing a seatbelt. So she was on the roof of the car and we're all like, thank God you weren't wearing a seatbelt or it could have been worse.

• 2:24:27Speaker 02

  They always say.

• 2:24:28Joe Rogan?

  Well, you ever see guys get flown out of the car and they live and the car flips thirty fucking times and they live because they got thrown in the wreckage? Never heard of that.

• 2:24:35Speaker 01

  Isn't that a saying too, like a urban myth at least that uh if you if you're like hammered? You get an accident, you're like relaxed, so.

• 2:24:44Joe Rogan?

  I've heard that. Yeah, I've heard that. Yeah. It's the same thing as people falling.

• 2:24:50Speaker 02

  Oh, there was somebody on this not happening, this fucking Irish Chicago guy, I forgot his name, Sullivan something, but he was listening, she was listening, he was walked off a building. And the nurse was like, the nurse was like, it's only thing to save you is, did you not know you were falling the entire time? He goes, I was just walking.

• 2:25:14Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my God. Damn. Oh, my God.

• 2:25:17Speaker 01

  All right, all right, let's bong a fucking beer.

• 2:25:19Joe Rogan?

  There you go. It's about fucking time.

• 2:25:21Speaker 02

  Feeling these envies though.

• 2:25:23Speaker 01

  I would.

• 2:25:24Speaker 02

  Getting the yawns.

• 2:25:25Joe Rogan?

  The only reason I stopped the booze, the only reason I stopped the booze is because I wanted to see what it'd be like to have no booze for a long period of time.

• 2:25:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:25:32Joe Rogan?

  It's a lot better.

• 2:25:33Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 2:25:33Joe Rogan?

  You feel a lot better. Don't you get bored though at night? No, I thought I would. That's the thing. Like, I have fun doing stand up. I have fun hanging out in the green room.

• 2:25:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. But you're also not like, action.

• 2:25:47Speaker 01

  Well, when it comes to sobriety.

• 2:25:49Speaker 03

  No booze.

• 2:25:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, Diaz did that once. At the improv, he goes.

• 2:25:52Speaker 01

  Shut up, Jamie, you're so cold, dude.

• 2:25:54Speaker 02

  He goes, I stopped smoking weed, everyone booed. He goes, oh, I mean, I'm still doing vapes and stuff. I'd be like, oh, alright. He goes, nah, it just hurt my throat.

• 2:26:01Speaker 03

  What flipped you? What was the, the final switch?

• 2:26:04Joe Rogan?

  Well, I wanted to try it. You saw me fall down. Well, I'm just kind of tired of fucking feeling like shit when I would work out the next day.

• 2:26:10Speaker 02

  The hangovers are real later.

• 2:26:11Joe Rogan?

  It's real. It's also, you fucking, it just, you're just tired all the time. It's like, it beats you down. And if I was doing three nights in a week at the club.

• 2:26:19Speaker 01

  Hold on, let me bong this beer.

• 2:26:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. Libo digger cat.

• 2:26:25Speaker 02

  He's got a 29 year old metabolism.

• 2:26:29Speaker 01

  So cold.

• 2:26:29Speaker 03

  You'll be back, you'll be back.

• 2:26:31Joe Rogan?

  You think so?

• 2:26:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:26:32Joe Rogan?

  That's a supportive friend.

• 2:26:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:26:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:26:34Joe Rogan?

  I mean, it's not like, I'm not out of.

• 2:26:35Speaker 01

  You didn't have a fucking problem.

• 2:26:36Speaker 02

  We're saying we don't judge you for your current situation.

• 2:26:39Joe Rogan?

  Thank you.

• 2:26:39Speaker 02

  We would love to have you back.

• 2:26:40Joe Rogan?

  It's just one of those things where you stop doing it and you're like, oh, I feel so much better. Why was I doing that?

• 2:26:44Speaker 02

  It's also like, at this point, like, who gives a, so don't drink.

• 2:26:47Speaker 01

  See, I have the, I have a different thing. I go, I go, I'll go like four or five days.

• 2:26:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:26:52Speaker 01

  Typically, I try to get four or five days.

• 2:26:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:26:54Speaker 01

  Off. By day five, by day five, I'm going.

• 2:26:57Speaker 03

  Let's go.

• 2:26:58Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 2:26:59Speaker 03

  I know.

• 2:26:59Speaker 01

  Ooh, I'm getting fucking wrecked.

• 2:27:02Speaker 03

  Same, same thing.

• 2:27:04Speaker 01

  It's, it's not even like.

• 2:27:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can't just have all of a beer.

• 2:27:07Speaker 03

  And then you regret it.

• 2:27:08Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 2:27:08Speaker 03

  You regret it the next day, but you're like.

• 2:27:10Speaker 01

  Well, the next day, you go, fucking, I already threw away those five days.

• 2:27:12Speaker 03

  Let's keep going.

• 2:27:13Speaker 01

  Fucking right.

• 2:27:14Speaker 02

  Turned into a regretted.

• 2:27:15Speaker 03

  Until the wheels fall off.

• 2:27:17Joe Rogan?

  Look, I had a good time drinking. Don't get me wrong. I like it.

• 2:27:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:27:20Speaker 03

  Oh, it's fun.

• 2:27:21Joe Rogan?

  I don't like what it does to your body.

• 2:27:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean.

• 2:27:23Speaker 03

  Ah!

• 2:27:24Speaker 02

  It's always done that.

• 2:27:24Joe Rogan?

  What did someone say? Someone had a great statement that it's like you're paying for tomorrow.

• 2:27:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:27:29Joe Rogan?

  At a, you know, a high interest rate today.

• 2:27:31Speaker 01

  I was listening to your podcast when I heard that.

• 2:27:32Speaker 02

  I will gladly pay you to- today, what tomorrow for one hamburger today.

• 2:27:37Joe Rogan?

  That guy.

• 2:27:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:27:38Joe Rogan?

  The Popeye guy. The guy was addicted to hamburgers.

• 2:27:41Speaker 02

  He had no money, never had money.

• 2:27:42Speaker 03

  Wimpy, wimpy?

• 2:27:44Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, wimpy.

• 2:27:44Speaker 02

  Wimpy.

• 2:27:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:27:45Speaker 01

  Who the fuck is this?

• 2:27:46Speaker 02

  Wimpy's Burgers.

• 2:27:46Speaker 03

  Oh, Wimpy's big.

• 2:27:47Speaker 01

  He's just a guy addicted to burgers?

• 2:27:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. He was a comic. He died.

• 2:27:53Speaker 02

  He's dancing to him.

• 2:27:54Speaker 01

  He died from burgers?

• 2:27:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, Five Guys killed him.

• 2:27:57Speaker 01

  Fucking assholes.

• 2:27:58Speaker 03

  I know.

• 2:27:59Joe Rogan?

  Bro, those old cartoons were crazy.

• 2:28:02Speaker 03

  Oh, don't give me a start on the racist one.

• 2:28:04Joe Rogan?

  Oh, they're all racist. I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

• 2:28:08Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 2:28:09Joe Rogan?

  I just wanted burgers.

• 2:28:10Speaker 02

  Oh, so you ever see the stories of blow on the set of Popeye?

• 2:28:13Joe Rogan?

  Huh?

• 2:28:14Speaker 02

  The blow on the set of Popeye? The movie Popeye with Rob Williams? They were shooting in Malta, they could be away from the studios and they would send film cams back and they'd send the empty film cams back full of cocaine for the set. Cause they wouldn't check through the film cams.

• 2:28:29Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god, that's so crazy. When Popeye came to Malta, the film set was full of cocaine.

• 2:28:35Speaker 02

  They had to be like, we're gonna do something wild.

• 2:28:36Joe Rogan?

  Of course.

• 2:28:37Speaker 03

  He's not even in character.

• 2:28:39Joe Rogan?

  Every he's coked up, he's got one eye closed.

• 2:28:42Speaker 02

  That's funny, I've made that face. Every single time I've ever done cocaine, I go.

• 2:28:46Joe Rogan?

  You couldn't escape it, they were actually shipping film cans at the time. Film cans were sent back to LA for daily processing, this was shot in Malta. And we found out the film cans were actually being used to ship cocaine back and forth to this set. Everyone was stoned, I don't know why they're saying stoned.

• 2:29:01Speaker 02

  What a lame way to talk about blown out, blow.

• 2:29:04Joe Rogan?

  And what a bunch of dorks.

• 2:29:05Speaker 02

  Dorks.

• 2:29:05Speaker 03

  It makes sense.

• 2:29:06Joe Rogan?

  Shelley Duvall, she went, she went through that and The Shining. How did that lady survive?

• 2:29:10Speaker 03

  Well, have you seen her now?

• 2:29:12Speaker 02

  She died.

• 2:29:12Speaker 03

  Oh, she did?

• 2:29:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:29:14Joe Rogan?

  She died?

• 2:29:15Speaker 02

  Four years ago. She died and then Mark, you were saying, what were you saying? She was ugly before she died?

• 2:29:19Speaker 03

  Beautiful.

• 2:29:20Speaker 02

  Is that what you were saying?

• 2:29:21Speaker 03

  She aged gracefully and uh... I love Popeye.

• 2:29:24Joe Rogan?

  How many memes are the fucking Jack Nicholson with the axe coming through the wall?

• 2:29:28Speaker 03

  Ah, here's Johnny.

• 2:29:30Joe Rogan?

  Like inclusivity and then trans women on dating apps?

• 2:29:34Speaker 03

  I think I sent this that way. That was on the thread.

• 2:29:37Joe Rogan?

  There's so many of those. Like that one scene with Shelley Duvall in the bathroom when the axe is coming through, here's Johnny.

• 2:29:43Speaker 03

  Oh yeah.

• 2:29:44Speaker 02

  That fucking movie was crazy.

• 2:29:46Speaker 03

  Slow build if you re-watch it, slow build.

• 2:29:49Speaker 02

  It's really nice.

• 2:29:49Speaker 03

  It's great.

• 2:29:50Speaker 02

  It's a really good movie to watch.

• 2:29:52Joe Rogan?

  You know what's crazy is that Stephen King didn't like it.

• 2:29:54Speaker 03

  Kubrick.

• 2:29:56Joe Rogan?

  King didn't like that version of it.

• 2:29:57Speaker 02

  Stephen King doesn't like anything cool. He likes Salem's Lot.

• 2:30:01Speaker 03

  Tough follow on Twitter. He is mean.

• 2:30:04Speaker 02

  He hates the coolest shit, dude.

• 2:30:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's fun.

• 2:30:07Speaker 03

  He's zigging everybody.

• 2:30:08Joe Rogan?

  Well, you gotta, the guy got hit by a bus.

• 2:30:10Speaker 03

  Did he?

• 2:30:11Joe Rogan?

  He got hit by a guy driving a fucking truck not paying attention. And he was walking on the side of the road and he got clipped and broke like every bone in his body.

• 2:30:20Speaker 03

  Whoa!

• 2:30:21Speaker 02

  I'm not laughing at that, it's just a funny way to...

• 2:30:23Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he was hospitalized for a long time. He got clipped.

• 2:30:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:30:26Joe Rogan?

  He got really broken apart as an older man, you know, not like as a young guy where he maybe could kinda recover.

• 2:30:33Speaker 02

  How hot is it in here?

• 2:30:34Joe Rogan?

  Not hot at all.

• 2:30:34Speaker 01

  It's so hot. It's Jamie. It's Jamie's fault.

• 2:30:37Joe Rogan?

  It's America.

• 2:30:37Speaker 02

  Is it? Is it not hot? Seventy-two? Let's go sixty-nine.

• 2:30:40Speaker 01

  Seventy-two is a little hot. Come on, man. You're schwitzing. Jamie, you know, seventy-two is a little crazy. You all right, Ari?

• 2:30:46Joe Rogan?

  Nah, he met the devil.

• 2:30:47Speaker 01

  Sixty-nine, sixty-nine. He met the devil.

• 2:30:50Speaker 02

  Oh, you had it set at seventy-two, Jamie? That's unforgivable. What are you, a girl?

• 2:30:56Speaker 01

  You're riding Jamie.

• 2:30:57Speaker 02

  Ah, girls like it warm.

• 2:30:58Joe Rogan?

  They like it warm?

• 2:30:59Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:30:59Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. They love it warm. If it's up to a girl, she'll go seventy-five. Easy.

• 2:31:04Joe Rogan?

  Hey, Bert Kreischer's gonna sue you.

• 2:31:05Speaker 02

  Legitimately hot.

• 2:31:07Joe Rogan?

  Bert Kreischer's gonna sue you.

• 2:31:08Speaker 01

  I wish you weren't doing that. That is a bad look. Auschwitz, twenty-twenty-five.

• 2:31:14Joe Rogan?

  He did that for the, the thing.

• 2:31:17Speaker 01

  It was a good bit. For the survivors?

• 2:31:19Speaker 02

  It was not a bit. I'm legitimately, I was schwitzing in here.

• 2:31:21Speaker 01

  That's gonna be, I like it.

• 2:31:23Joe Rogan?

  You feel better now?

• 2:31:24Speaker 01

  That'll be a meme. You shirtless doing that?

• 2:31:26Speaker 02

  But I am hot.

• 2:31:28Speaker 01

  Jamie.

• 2:31:28Speaker 02

  I mean, it's obviously the stuff.

• 2:31:29Speaker 01

  Jamie, can you bring up, uh, Michigan taking the field against Ohio State? I think Joe Zachary will like him and I think he's gonna respect football when he sees it.

• 2:31:36Joe Rogan?

  Let's go.

• 2:31:36Speaker 02

  Joe does not respect football.

• 2:31:37Joe Rogan?

  Let's go. I do respect football. That's not true at all.

• 2:31:39Speaker 01

  He has recently come around.

• 2:31:40Speaker 02

  I started watching football.

• 2:31:41Speaker 01

  I don't approve of the CTE.

• 2:31:43Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's not good.

• 2:31:44Speaker 01

  Horrible.

• 2:31:45Speaker 02

  Who the fuck?

• 2:31:45Speaker 01

  You moved up to CTE.

• 2:31:47Joe Rogan?

  I know. Listen.

• 2:31:48Speaker 01

  I'm a referee.

• 2:31:50Speaker 02

  It's like, it's like, yeah, it's like booze versus weed. It's like, guys, you're both fucking all.

• 2:31:54Joe Rogan?

  I got a touch of CTE myself, for sure. It's, you don't escape it. They, they tested high school kids that have CTE.

• 2:32:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm a little worried.

• 2:32:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you should, you should be worried.

• 2:32:04Speaker 01

  I'm not, yeah.

• 2:32:04Joe Rogan?

  But you got the touch. The touch is good. A little touch makes you a little reckless, a little funny, a little crazy.

• 2:32:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got touched.

• 2:32:10Joe Rogan?

  I got touched.

• 2:32:11Speaker 01

  JMo, I know what you're gonna do, cuz I know you're a nasty little fuck. I know what you're gonna do. Oh, you knew.

• 2:32:20Speaker 01

  Oh, they got you there.

• 2:32:21Speaker 02

  Gotta make a tackle.

• 2:32:22Speaker 01

  Damn it. They got you there. I knew he was gonna do it, dude.

• 2:32:27Joe Rogan?

  Uh, does that hurt you?

• 2:32:28Speaker 05

  You know where they threw that?

• 2:32:29Joe Rogan?

  That actually did hurt. That hurts you? What a catch though, look at that catch.

• 2:32:32Speaker 05

  I was sitting right there, right where he caught it.

• 2:32:33Joe Rogan?

  That's fucking beautiful.

• 2:32:34Speaker 02

  Because that was a third down.

• 2:32:35Joe Rogan?

  How'd you get over there, you fucking little nasty little fuck?

• 2:32:38Speaker 05

  I don't know, airplane.

• 2:32:40Joe Rogan?

  He is ready. He had that geared up, he knew you were coming in. But, wait till you see it. It looks like a movie, it looks like a movie. What I sent Jamie yesterday, you, you wanna get mad?

• 2:32:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:32:49Joe Rogan?

  Let's get mad.

• 2:32:50Speaker 02

  Let's get mad.

• 2:32:51Joe Rogan?

  The LA Fire Fund, you know, they had this big show, big fundraiser, they raised a hundred million dollars.

• 2:32:59Speaker 02

  What did all go to BLM?

• 2:33:01Joe Rogan?

  Wait till you find out where the money went. It is, it's, James Lee did a thing about it on Instagram. Yeah, and there's been articles written about it where people are like, where's the money? This, the way they distribute the money is so crazy, you, you're gonna, you're gonna read this and you're never gonna wanna donate to charity again. Cause you find out what charities are really, what a lot of these like nonprofits are really about. The lady running the charity that got the money makes almost a million dollars a year.

• 2:33:27Speaker 02

  BLM, Me Too, this.

• 2:33:29Joe Rogan?

  Same lady?

• 2:33:30Speaker 02

  No, but it's all, everyone's like, well, let me get, let me get a taste.

• 2:33:33Joe Rogan?

  Same fucking lady, she's killing it. Listen, listen to this.

• 2:33:36Speaker 05

  I watched this, I looked into it a little bit, we'll watch it, but I, what, what they say though is that within the first month they distributed half of that money.

• 2:33:45Speaker 02

  Hold on, before you press play on it.

• 2:33:46Joe Rogan?

  I also don't trust this guy.

• 2:33:47Speaker 02

  That guy with the fishing hat is not a reliable news source.

• 2:33:50Joe Rogan?

  That's my number one source of news.

• 2:33:54Speaker 05

  Getting, and then he's trying to, he's, he's trying to blame the Annenberg Foundation, that is one of the richest fucking families in California, they have, they're worth so much fucking money.

• 2:34:03Joe Rogan?

  Wonder how they got money?

• 2:34:05Speaker 05

  I mean.

• 2:34:06Joe Rogan?

  Fire aid is giving fire passes. Doesn't matter, it's like. Shut up, liberal ass Jamie, you fucking Ohio State fan, liberal ass. How about just play the video? How about play the video and let everybody figure it out for themselves?

• 2:34:15Speaker 02

  Let's platform this guy.

• 2:34:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, play, liberal. Jesus.

• 2:34:19Speaker 09

  Concert might be one of the biggest scams in disaster fundraising history. And as usual, I'm bringing the receipts. First off, according to reports, the fire aid benefit concerts raised over a hundred million dollars, supposedly for LA fire victims. But since then, residents have been asking, where did all the money go?

• 2:34:37Speaker 06

  A hundred million dollars raised for residents, community things, and.

• 2:34:43Speaker 06

  That are supposed to help with palisades and there's no accounting.

• 2:34:47Speaker 05

  He's a CTA, he played football.

• 2:34:50Speaker 09

  Hmm, let's figure this out. So according to the FireAid website, it says that all direct donations will be distributed under the advisement of the Annenberg Foundation. According to the IRS 990 form, the Annenberg Foundation is a 501(c)(3) based in Conshocken, Pennsylvania. I live there, Conchi, baby. This lovely office building. One massive red flag by way is that only thirty-three percent of their annual expenses goes towards actual charity programs. The rest goes to administrative costs like executive compensation. Look at the numbers, they treat you pretty good over there, starting with top dog Cynthia Kennard, who's making three quarters of a million dollars plus another six figures in bonuses. She started the fire.

• 2:35:32Speaker 09

  Basically almost seven figures just for one person there. Here is Cynthia, AKA Cinni, hanging out with Gavin Newsom, discussing or strategizing about things like how to solve. Wood, wood. Both of them, six figures. Yeah. Anyway, just to give you a point of comparison with another nonprofit, Doctors Without Borders, they spent almost ninety percent of their money on actual programs versus less than one percent on administrative costs. Local journalists have also been asking, where's the money? They found, quote, "The FireAid website names only three Palisades organizations that receive grants." Among almost a hundred and twenty organizations listed as receiving grants. Couple of Q ones. No, no, keep it going.

• 2:36:13Speaker 02

  You see who got the money?

• 2:36:13Speaker 09

  Couple of Q ones in there, hold on, let me read it.

• 2:36:15Speaker 05

  Why'd you stop?

• 2:36:16Speaker 09

  Because he's focused on the Palisades.

• 2:36:17Speaker 05

  Just display it, just play, we'll talk later.

• 2:36:20Speaker 09

  None of them are specific to Pacific Palisades. What's Israel? Those three are Kahlet, Israel, Haban of Pacific Palisades, and Palisades Charter High School. Listen, scorpion sting. Others tried to directly reach out to the Annenberg Foundation, they were kind of given the runaround, various extension numbers, somebody saying they would call them back, no one called back. Also referring them to some mysterious man named Philip, no last name, he was never found. This is just crazy. So essentially what they're doing is taking the hundred million dollars, then paying themselves roughly seventy percent of it. Wow. And the rest of the money, they're dishing out to various other nonprofits with their own administrative expenses, and that's how a hundred million dollars just ends up disappearing. Ay yi yi.

• 2:37:02Speaker 05

  Wow, okay.

• 2:37:04Speaker 09

  I'll believe it.

• 2:37:06Joe Rogan?

  Maybe he's selling the truth, maybe he's exaggerating, but the very least.

• 2:37:10Speaker 02

  This is what the NFL does, NFL does with the cancer research stuff.

• 2:37:13Joe Rogan?

  Seventy percent goes to administration, thirty percent goes to the actual cost.

• 2:37:16Speaker 02

  These nonprofits.

• 2:37:17Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy.

• 2:37:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:37:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:37:19Speaker 02

  They're for their own profit.

• 2:37:21Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's just a loophole. It's a loophole. They found a loophole to make a great living by being virtuous.

• 2:37:27Speaker 02

  And then they see a fire, they're like, sick, we're all getting raises.

• 2:37:30Joe Rogan?

  Well, all we're saying, Jamie, is that this guy is saying that seventy percent traditionally goes to administrative costs, thirty percent goes to the actual problem.

• 2:37:40Speaker 05

  That's for all charities.

• 2:37:41Joe Rogan?

  But if, right, that is for all charities, for a lot of charities, but not Doctors Without Borders, which is one of the things that he brought up.

• 2:37:47Speaker 05

  He just picked one, though. He was comparing you at this stuff to, he's like, I'll pick a charity, and this, he picked probably one of the worst ones, you know, we've gone over the charity stuff many times, there's good and bad charities.

• 2:37:57Joe Rogan?

  There's good and bad charities. But the point is that this hundred million dollars, you're saying, was distributed to a bunch of different places, not just Pacific Power states.

• 2:38:06Speaker 05

  Looking into it, two hundred million was a number that got used in advertising to make everything look big and look good. Probably, I was, my part I was trying to say too, assuming that it is a hundred million, there's a bunch of companies and a bunch of, like, artists have said, I'm gonna pledge a million, I'm gonna pledge a million.

• 2:38:20Speaker 02

  They never.

• 2:38:21Speaker 05

  And you have to go collect it all, you don't know if they all sent it in.

• 2:38:23Speaker 02

  Oh, you know how many times I pledged stuff?

• 2:38:25Speaker 01

  I pledged a million dollars to Notre Dame's NIL. I haven't done one single.

• 2:38:28Joe Rogan?

  Did you do it by yourself? Were you in your apartment?

• 2:38:31Speaker 01

  No, I was at the fucking championship game watching Ohio State win, and I was going, Notre Dame needs a D tackle, I'm gonna give them a million bucks.

• 2:38:37Joe Rogan?

  For real?

• 2:38:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then, uh, they were like, hey, you wanna give us that million bucks? I was like, no.

• 2:38:42Joe Rogan?

  I pledged.

• 2:38:43Speaker 02

  Is that legally binding?

• 2:38:44Speaker 01

  It was a pledge. JMo.

• 2:38:46Joe Rogan?

  Well, that's, isn't that the weirdest thing about colleges? Like, how much money colleges get in donations from people that are, like, really wealthy that used to go there?

• 2:38:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:38:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I didn't even go there.

• 2:38:55Speaker 02

  Didn't go there.

• 2:38:57Joe Rogan?

  But that's a big thing with colleges, right?

• 2:38:59Speaker 01

  Win before my dad does.

• 2:39:00Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. That's why these college kids are getting money now.

• 2:39:03Speaker 02

  It's kinda crazy. I talked to one at Barstool in Chicago, he played Indiana Center, and it's like, how much per year? He goes, three hundred grand to transfer to Indiana.

• 2:39:11Speaker 01

  Oh, that's for a year.

• 2:39:12Speaker 05

  Notre Dame's Pat Coogan. What? Transferred to Indiana. He was from Notre.

• 2:39:16Speaker 02

  And it's just like, that's a good living, I don't have to go into this for my life, I'm gonna take my degree and like actually start a life.

• 2:39:21Joe Rogan?

  For those kids forever.

• 2:39:22Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 2:39:22Joe Rogan?

  They're making money off of them forever, they're sold out stadiums.

• 2:39:25Speaker 02

  The only negative is you can't have a player for four straight years.

• 2:39:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, there just needs to be regulation on it. Cause this is now that now they're letting them pay players. So now it's just the fucking Wild West.

• 2:39:34Speaker 02

  They gotta, they gotta make some.

• 2:39:36Joe Rogan?

  They need to do that shit for the Olympics.

• 2:39:38Speaker 02

  They gotta make, make them make four year pledge. Even then it's the big schools are all gonna.

• 2:39:42Joe Rogan?

  The Olympics, Olympics, they don't get nothing.

• 2:39:44Speaker 01

  The Olympics, they get nothing.

• 2:39:45Joe Rogan?

  Zero. Everybody else gets rich. You beat up by a man. That can happen. Enrolled in that woman's boxing.

• 2:39:52Speaker 01

  Some broad getting teed off.

• 2:39:54Speaker 02

  You went, you said that they were wrong about that one. And now like new info came out.

• 2:39:58Joe Rogan?

  What's that?

• 2:39:58Speaker 02

  You, I thought you were like, no, that's actually not a trans. That's a different.

• 2:40:01Joe Rogan?

  They were thinking, there was a lot of people that were saying that it wasn't really a man and that it was just some woman with an issue.

• 2:40:08Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:40:08Joe Rogan?

  Like some sort of medical issue. The medical issue is testicles. And an XY chromosome.

• 2:40:14Speaker 02

  Medical issue.

• 2:40:14Joe Rogan?

  XY chromosome and testicle, testicles. Apparently internal testies that don't drop. It's like a condition. Oh. That some males have. Some micropenis, internal testicles.

• 2:40:24Speaker 01

  Whatever.

• 2:40:25Joe Rogan?

  Whatever, bro.

• 2:40:26Speaker 02

  Call it big clit.

• 2:40:26Joe Rogan?

  It's normal.

• 2:40:27Speaker 02

  Micro penis, dude. It happens to a lot of guys. It's fine.

• 2:40:29Speaker 01

  Come up with the pills, you scientists.

• 2:40:31Joe Rogan?

  Fix it. They ain't fixing shit, except in China. They're crisping the shit out of those dicks. Making it a big juicy dick.

• 2:40:37Speaker 01

  Good math guy with a big dick, dude. That's a issue.

• 2:40:40Joe Rogan?

  Man. Yeah.

• 2:40:42Speaker 01

  Long dividing and then fucking banging your lady. You go, who the fuck was that guy?

• 2:40:46Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah. With CCP hat on. Show your work. Man, I gotta look into this CRISPR. I've never heard of it.

• 2:40:54Speaker 02

  I gotta do it. Is it too late for us?

• 2:40:55Joe Rogan?

  I think it's too late for now, but in the future.

• 2:40:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're fucked, dude.

• 2:40:59Joe Rogan?

  But not in the future. In the future, they're gonna be able to gene edit people that are alive. Right now they're doing it to like fetuses.

• 2:41:04Speaker 02

  We gotta go back in time and then shoot my, shoot my dad up with the stuff to get me the real shit.

• 2:41:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Viking genes.

• 2:41:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:41:10Joe Rogan?

  Come back.

• 2:41:11Speaker 01

  Fuck, I wish I had.

• 2:41:12Joe Rogan?

  We do it to protect our parks four months from now or he's 150 pounds heavier.

• 2:41:16Speaker 02

  Hi, guys.

• 2:41:17Joe Rogan?

  He's just gigantic, a giant hog. He pulled the balls out last night. That was pretty. They don't look like.

• 2:41:23Speaker 03

  You have great balls.

• 2:41:24Joe Rogan?

  From a human.

• 2:41:25Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 2:41:25Joe Rogan?

  Huge balls. They dwarf the dick. A bighorn sheep. You ever seen a bighorn sheep's balls?

• 2:41:31Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:41:31Joe Rogan?

  They're ridiculous. Pull them up. The first time I saw a bighorn sheep, my friend Steve Vrenelles, like, look at his balls. You need to look at their balls. It's like they're, it's extraordinary. They're like church bells. Whoa. Giant fucking balls.

• 2:41:42Speaker 01

  It's like master balls.

• 2:41:43Joe Rogan?

  They're in the head.

• 2:41:45Speaker 01

  Oh my god!

• 2:41:46Joe Rogan?

  Whoa, elephantitis. Giant sacks.

• 2:41:48Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 2:41:49Joe Rogan?

  They all have giant balls. Wow.

• 2:41:51Speaker 01

  Can't be running with that.

• 2:41:52Joe Rogan?

  Looks like a big puss. Look at him up there with his. Ho! No, he's got a problem. Of course, the black one. You can't tell what's AI anymore, man.

• 2:41:59Speaker 01

  You really cannot.

• 2:42:00Joe Rogan?

  It's all, it's over. There's no way to tell.

• 2:42:02Speaker 01

  You gotta go straight to the comments and hopefully people pointed it out. I got tricked by, I got tricked by one. I was.

• 2:42:07Joe Rogan?

  By a sheep?

• 2:42:07Speaker 01

  I was embarrassed.

• 2:42:08Joe Rogan?

  What happened? You fucked it? And he's like, oh my god.

• 2:42:10Speaker 01

  Some fucking hot ass sheep came to the bar.

• 2:42:13Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:42:17Speaker 01

  No, it was a, it was a video of Trump giving a speech, but they AI'd what he was saying.

• 2:42:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:42:22Speaker 01

  And I watched it and I was like, no fucking way, god damn it. It was not, uh, it was actually really funny. It was like, uh, something about gay people. I forget.

• 2:42:30Joe Rogan?

  Oh, no, no, no.

• 2:42:30Speaker 01

  But it was like really funny and it, it seemed like something he might say. Yeah.

• 2:42:35Joe Rogan?

  He's so funny.

• 2:42:36Speaker 01

  And then you're watching it. You're like, nice, well played. Fuck, it was close, but it took me like, three minutes to be like.

• 2:42:42Joe Rogan?

  Three minutes is long.

• 2:42:43Speaker 01

  He wouldn't say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:42:45Joe Rogan?

  Finish coming. But it's, it's over now. Like, there's no way.

• 2:42:48Speaker 01

  There is no truth. There's no video. Let me hear this.

• 2:42:50Speaker 06

  I saw this yesterday.

• 2:42:51Speaker 01

  Well, I'm gonna be embarrassed, but yeah, oh, I tricked you too? Good.

• 2:42:53Speaker 04

  Taking careful note of the work of Colossal Labs, the biotech company that.

• 2:42:57Speaker 06

  We started over because it was out, so that's what we're on.

• 2:42:59Speaker 04

  The worst group of people we've got in our country and it's not even close. I think we'd all be better off with them gone, but as I was saying, my administration and I have been taking careful note of the work of Colossal Labs, the biotech company that resurrected the dire wolf. If they can bring back wolves, they can bring back dinosaurs. Terrible lizard. That's what dinosaur means if you break it down. But picture this, folks. Velociraptor, mounted border patrol agents. They'll rip your head clear off. Pterodactyls patrolling the skies, velociraptors on the ground. To prevent the immigration apocalypse, we may have to counter with a dino apocalypse, folks. It's true.

• 2:43:40Joe Rogan?

  But I mean, you watch something like that.

• 2:43:43Speaker 01

  While you're watching, you go.

• 2:43:44Joe Rogan?

  He might have said that.

• 2:43:45Speaker 02

  Also, Trump's so wild, you just never know.

• 2:43:47Speaker 03

  You never know.

• 2:43:47Joe Rogan?

  Didn't he fucking post something the other day that Biden was assassinated, they used a clone?

• 2:43:52Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 2:43:53Joe Rogan?

  God, I hope he didn't.

• 2:43:54Speaker 02

  You know what's happening to parks, don't you?

• 2:43:55Joe Rogan?

  Didn't that like Truth Social, Truth Social, didn't he post something like that? Some, some, some wild thing that somebody posted, Biden, this isn't even Biden, because he had a bunch of plastic surgery. He had his face pulled back like a lizard.

• 2:44:07Speaker 02

  Do you know what they're actually doing at the Forest Department? Every email they sent that mentions biodiversity gets bounced back.

• 2:44:14Speaker 03

  What does that mean?

• 2:44:15Speaker 02

  They are so against the word diversity, that biodiversity, those emails are not allowed to be sent from company emails.

• 2:44:22Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 2:44:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:44:23Speaker 03

  Did you see his N-word thing?

• 2:44:24Speaker 01

  You gotta protect the parks.

• 2:44:26Joe Rogan?

  Here goes, Trump shared, look at this.

• 2:44:28Speaker 01

  You might actually be protecting the parks.

• 2:44:29Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 2:44:30Joe Rogan?

  Trump, Trump shares unfounded conspiracy theory claiming Biden was executed in 2020.

• 2:44:34Speaker 03

  Holy hell.

• 2:44:36Speaker 02

  Oh, who is he debating then?

• 2:44:38Speaker 03

  Who did it? Stairs?

• 2:44:39Joe Rogan?

  That is so ridiculous.

• 2:44:41Speaker 02

  But who was he debating? He thinks he was.

• 2:44:45Joe Rogan?

  What do you mean?

• 2:44:46Speaker 02

  He debated him in 2020.

• 2:44:48Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he debated a different guy.

• 2:44:50Speaker 02

  He's saying it's a clone?

• 2:44:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, not really Biden anymore.

• 2:44:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, the one he kind of lost, I bet he was like, fucking clone showed up. It doesn't seem like that.

• 2:44:57Joe Rogan?

  Well, there was that time that the tall Biden was at the White House.

• 2:45:01Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:45:01Joe Rogan?

  That was crazy. That was crazy. There was a Biden that was like six inches taller than Biden. And they have makeup, they can do things to people, they can make you look like Biden, they can make you, maybe not you. But like, like some people would not, not so long a face.

• 2:45:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, Barron, was he six eight?

• 2:45:18Joe Rogan?

  They put Barron, Barron would stand out, he'd be too tall.

• 2:45:22Speaker 01

  Barron was long face.

• 2:45:23Joe Rogan?

  Why the long face?

• 2:45:27Speaker 03

  Mark Barron.

• 2:45:27Joe Rogan?

  Biden, don't be, don't be depressed.

• 2:45:28Speaker 02

  Don't be sour.

• 2:45:29Joe Rogan?

  I know we're pulling you out.

• 2:45:31Speaker 01

  I'll never forget.

• 2:45:32Joe Rogan?

  But you were a great president, you were like Lincoln.

• 2:45:34Speaker 01

  This is way off topic and you guys aren't gonna think it's as funny as I do, but one time my, my family and I, we were out to dinner at Haas's in Mechanicsburg. And the waiter came over and goes, I got a joke for you. We were like, what, what is it? He's like, a horse walks into the bar and the bartender goes, why the long face? And my family and I erupted. Laughing for like twenty minutes.

• 2:45:57Speaker 03

  Classic.

• 2:45:58Speaker 01

  No, but it became like, we can't stop laughing about how good that waiter was.

• 2:46:03Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:46:03Speaker 01

  And, uh, yeah, it stuck with me my whole life and I, I knew when I started telling that story, it wasn't gonna be good.

• 2:46:08Speaker 03

  Ah, that's literally the joke that I said to him.

• 2:46:11Speaker 01

  I know, I know. That's what it reminded me of.

• 2:46:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:46:14Speaker 01

  But just that, that's just that whole like, you know, when you can't stop laughing.

• 2:46:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:46:18Joe Rogan?

  Pull up the video that's all Biden, Jamie.

• 2:46:20Speaker 03

  Been there. What is Hoss's?

• 2:46:23Speaker 01

  It was a tough one for me. Do you like Hoss's?

• 2:46:25Speaker 02

  It's like a lower level, um.

• 2:46:27Speaker 03

  Sizzler?

• 2:46:28Speaker 02

  Some reference, I can't remember.

• 2:46:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, the wheels are off.

• 2:46:31Speaker 02

  The wheels are off, bro.

• 2:46:32Speaker 03

  Chili's?

• 2:46:32Speaker 02

  The wheels are off. Sure, Cracker Barrel, whatever.

• 2:46:35Speaker 03

  I'll go to a Chili's any day.

• 2:46:36Speaker 01

  There's a salad bar at Hoss's.

• 2:46:38Speaker 03

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 2:46:39Speaker 01

  But you know what? No one touches it, but they do have nachos and melted cheese. You go, there you go. I'm gonna go to the salad bar.

• 2:46:45Speaker 02

  That's essential PA salad.

• 2:46:48Speaker 03

  Salad bar's got that diced ham. You know those little cubes?

• 2:46:51Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:46:51Speaker 03

  Oh, baby.

• 2:46:52Speaker 01

  Now you're talking my language.

• 2:46:53Speaker 02

  The Pittsburgh salad? You know the Pittsburgh salad is?

• 2:46:55Speaker 03

  Uh, is that what you shit on a guy's chest?

• 2:46:56Speaker 01

  It's just fries with some lettuce on top.

• 2:46:59Speaker 03

  Oh, wow. That's fun. Pittsburgh people are fat.

• 2:47:03Speaker 01

  Pittsburgh fucking rules.

• 2:47:04Speaker 03

  That's a great city. Underrated city.

• 2:47:06Speaker 01

  Every fat city's the best city.

• 2:47:08Joe Rogan?

  They know how to party.

• 2:47:09Speaker 01

  I love them.

• 2:47:10Speaker 03

  What's another fest? Cleveland?

• 2:47:11Speaker 01

  Buffalo, Cleveland. I like Great Lakes.

• 2:47:13Joe Rogan?

  Look at this. Look at tall Biden. Look at the size of him. That's crazy.

• 2:47:16Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 2:47:17Joe Rogan?

  Bro, look at the size of him. He doesn't look anything like Biden.

• 2:47:21Speaker 02

  Shane, we were there.

• 2:47:22Joe Rogan?

  Look how tall he is.

• 2:47:23Speaker 02

  We were right there.

• 2:47:23Joe Rogan?

  He's towering.

• 2:47:24Speaker 02

  Inside windows.

• 2:47:25Joe Rogan?

  Towering over his wife. Like, what is that?

• 2:47:27Speaker 03

  Wow, Biden dirty.

• 2:47:29Joe Rogan?

  Like, what is that?

• 2:47:30Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 2:47:31Joe Rogan?

  That's weird.

• 2:47:32Speaker 02

  Shane, I went to the White House.

• 2:47:33Joe Rogan?

  I think there was times when we had, he had some complications and they just brought in another guy. Yeah, I think so.

• 2:47:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:47:40Joe Rogan?

  I think they've probably done that before with people.

• 2:47:41Speaker 03

  Roosevelt.

• 2:47:43Joe Rogan?

  Apparently there's a.

• 2:47:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:47:45Speaker 02

  I mean, you should, Connor.

• 2:47:47Joe Rogan?

  Who was telling the story? Was it here that they were telling the story of Obama was sitting there talking to one of the people that he worked with? And then they removed the mask and he realized that the person who he was talking to was not the person he works with? And they were showing him how good the CIA masks are? Oh, it was green room conversation. Someone was explaining the green room. That they have the CIA have.

• 2:48:07Speaker 01

  It might have been Metzger.

• 2:48:08Speaker 06

  Looming over you. You don't know? You don't know? You don't know about that? That guy's wild.

• 2:48:14Speaker 02

  You know your reference of a name you've never heard of? Like, so why do you think he went to Seattle in 2016? I'm like, who is any of these people?

• 2:48:21Joe Rogan?

  Bro, and then he'll hit you with five more in a row before he recovered from the first one.

• 2:48:25Speaker 02

  Oh, the picture you took of me?

• 2:48:27Joe Rogan?

  He's looming over you.

• 2:48:28Speaker 06

  I took a picture of Ari getting trapped.

• 2:48:30Speaker 02

  Because I loved Metzger for two decades, and then she's like, ah, I'm in it.

• 2:48:34Speaker 03

  You need a break after a while.

• 2:48:36Joe Rogan?

  He cornered me at Terry Black's the other day. I was in the corner.

• 2:48:39Speaker 02

  I heard he was at Terry Black's.

• 2:48:40Joe Rogan?

  And he was like looming over to me, and everybody else was having their own conversations. I'm like, hey, hey!

• 2:48:44Speaker 02

  Help me.

• 2:48:46Joe Rogan?

  Hey! Help!

• 2:48:48Speaker 03

  Well, less with headlines. The Massad.

• 2:48:50Joe Rogan?

  Help! Safe word.

• 2:48:51Speaker 03

  Epstein.

• 2:48:52Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:48:53Joe Rogan?

  Bro, he just hits you with like five, six conspiracies in a row that you don't know about. You don't know about that? Cleveland, 36?

• 2:48:58Speaker 02

  He's a...

• 2:48:58Joe Rogan?

  Look it up. I don't know. What happened? What happened?

• 2:49:01Speaker 02

  You know Downton City was just an experiment gone wrong?

• 2:49:03Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 2:49:04Speaker 03

  Right.

• 2:49:04Joe Rogan?

  I think it was a part of that program.

• 2:49:06Speaker 02

  It was the South Africans.

• 2:49:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, programs. A lot of programs. That's what happens when you grow up in a cult, and you think everything's a cult when you get out. Like, everything's a cult. And then he starts working for Jimmy Dore, so he like finds out about real conspiracies.

• 2:49:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, Metzger had his first birthday like four years ago. It's not an easy life.

• 2:49:23Speaker 03

  His eyeballs. Enough's enough.

• 2:49:26Joe Rogan?

  When he looms over you with the conspiracies, it's like he's not even a real person. He's like a cartoon.

• 2:49:30Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:49:31Joe Rogan?

  He's like a guy in a movie. There's no guy really like that that just traps you and hits you with 50 conspiracies. Yep, Kurt Metzger.

• 2:49:37Speaker 02

  He'll get you.

• 2:49:37Joe Rogan?

  When I have him on a podcast, it's hilarious. It's just like wind him up and then, hold on, hold on, hold on. The first thing you said, the first thing you said. Let's go back to that. Like, what are you talking about? Like, what did they do in the Pacific? Then, who did it? They sunk a ship? What happened?

• 2:49:53Joe Rogan?

  Jesus Christ, dude. Oh, you don't know? You don't know? No, I don't know! How can you know? How do you know all these fucking things?

• 2:50:01Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, that's it. When they put out the Epstein files, he's the guy who reads the 60,000 pages.

• 2:50:06Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah. Instantaneously. He's always jerking off. He's doing other things on the side. He's playing chess, jerking off, reading the stuff.

• 2:50:13Speaker 02

  So, where to? He started in black rooms.

• 2:50:16Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy.

• 2:50:17Speaker 06

  Him and Big Jay.

• 2:50:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:50:19Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 2:50:20Speaker 02

  Black rooms will have you.

• 2:50:22Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:50:22Speaker 02

  You're like a shitty young comic.

• 2:50:23Joe Rogan?

  And they will pay you.

• 2:50:24Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 2:50:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, they love, they love having a white guy.

• 2:50:27Joe Rogan?

  There's, there's dudes that are just joke machines. Metzger's a joke machine.

• 2:50:31Speaker 01

  Oh, he's so funny.

• 2:50:32Joe Rogan?

  If you got him in the writers room, he's a machine.

• 2:50:34Speaker 02

  Dude, Ms. Pat got me a spot in Atlanta once. I was down there for something. And she was like, alright, go. And the show started at eight. I got there at seven thirty. Doors are locked.

• 2:50:43Joe Rogan?

  Nah.

• 2:50:44Speaker 02

  Till eight forty-five. That's just black room. And then I go in, I'm like, hey, Ms. Pat, send me like, oh, we got you, got you. The MC does almost an hour.

• 2:50:52Joe Rogan?

  The MC did an hour?

• 2:50:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then he goes, oh, y'all, Billy from Iowa.

• 2:50:57Joe Rogan?

  Billy from Iowa? You're Billy from Iowa?

• 2:51:00Speaker 02

  Oh, is that me?

• 2:51:01Joe Rogan?

  Ah.

• 2:51:03Speaker 02

  A pure death.

• 2:51:04Joe Rogan?

  It sounds like it. Ari Shaffir, Billy from Iowa.

• 2:51:06Speaker 02

  Same thing.

• 2:51:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Close enough, after an hour.

• 2:51:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. Eight dicks in front of my manager at the time. Oh, my God.

• 2:51:12Speaker 01

  You invited your manager to the black room?

• 2:51:14Joe Rogan?

  Ooh.

• 2:51:15Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, it's fired up, dude. This shit makes me laugh.

• 2:51:18Joe Rogan?

  What is it?

• 2:51:19Speaker 01

  Cameron and Mace.

• 2:51:20Joe Rogan?

  What were they talking about?

• 2:51:21Speaker 01

  I, I posted this on my story. It's the, it, I was a little hungover, laying in bed, and this was killing me, how funny this is. Uh, start, can you start from the beginning?

• 2:51:34Speaker 06

  Diddy Charles, named The Punisher came in here.

• 2:51:41Speaker 01

  Because I was watching the Diddy Charles, some guy came to, named The Punisher.

• 2:51:44Speaker 06

  Boy, back in the days, my, named The Punisher.

• 2:51:50Speaker 06

  Who was The Punisher?

• 2:51:55Speaker 06

  Was it security or something back in the?

• 2:52:02Speaker 06

  Who's The Punisher?

• 2:52:04Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:52:05Speaker 02

  Oh, man, that is.

• 2:52:06Joe Rogan?

  Did you ever see the, the, meek Mill talking about how Suge Knight used to put handlebars on guys?

• 2:52:12Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:52:12Joe Rogan?

  No, that's horrific. Meek Mill said some crazy shit about Suge Knight.

• 2:52:17Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 2:52:18Joe Rogan?

  Suge Knight put handlebars on dudes.

• 2:52:20Speaker 01

  That'd be funny if you put a helmet on too. Fucking the guy.

• 2:52:23Joe Rogan?

  So why are they, why are they fucking each other? What's going on?

• 2:52:26Speaker 01

  They're homosexuals.

• 2:52:28Speaker 02

  Power move.

• 2:52:28Joe Rogan?

  It's a power, I think it's a power, yeah.

• 2:52:30Speaker 02

  Mark, I'll tell you what, I never thought of it like that.

• 2:52:34Joe Rogan?

  I think Ari's got it. Ray J, oh, it's Ray J.

• 2:52:36Speaker 01

  Oh, huge Don.

• 2:52:38Joe Rogan?

  Okay. Why did I think it was Meek Mill? Accuses Suge Knight of sexually assaulting men behind bars.

• 2:52:44Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 2:52:44Joe Rogan?

  Maybe it wasn't Meek Mill. Maybe it was Ray J.

• 2:52:46Speaker 03

  That's a different video. I've seen that one.

• 2:52:48Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, no, no, no, it is. It's Ray J.

• 2:52:52Speaker 03

  Twenty-five sticks of butter.

• 2:52:54Joe Rogan?

  Oh, Jesus.

• 2:52:55Speaker 03

  Use the butter as anal.

• 2:53:00Joe Rogan?

  Not Marjorie. Marjorie's bad for you.

• 2:53:03Speaker 02

  Not grease it up, bro.

• 2:53:06Joe Rogan?

  That's so crazy.

• 2:53:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, the Diddy.

• 2:53:10Speaker 02

  Cameron and Mace are...

• 2:53:11Joe Rogan?

  They get together, have fun.

• 2:53:12Speaker 01

  They have fun and they forget that they're on. Mike and times have changed.

• 2:53:16Speaker 02

  They don't give a fuck. They don't.

• 2:53:17Speaker 03

  He might get off.

• 2:53:18Joe Rogan?

  But times didn't really change. It's just like people have to hide it. And that's why people like Protect Our Parks.

• 2:53:23Speaker 01

  Times...

• 2:53:24Joe Rogan?

  The times are the same.

• 2:53:26Speaker 01

  And times definitely don't change if you're fucking black dudes from Harlem.

• 2:53:29Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 2:53:29Speaker 01

  Or rappers, Cameron and Mace.

• 2:53:31Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:53:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, their life is still the same.

• 2:53:34Speaker 02

  Fucking, they can say whatever they want.

• 2:53:34Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they can. They can say whatever they want.

• 2:53:37Speaker 03

  But are we gonna get the dirt out of all the Diddy people?

• 2:53:42Speaker 01

  Or get some?

• 2:53:42Joe Rogan?

  What are you doing with your chin?

• 2:53:43Speaker 01

  Have you heard about it? It's all dirt.

• 2:53:44Speaker 03

  What the fuck are you doing with your chin? I want something concrete.

• 2:53:47Speaker 01

  Bro, it's, listen to any story, dude, fucking...

• 2:53:49Speaker 03

  What, like J Lo, DiCaprio? Are they gonna talk?

• 2:53:53Speaker 01

  Kid Cudi said...

• 2:53:54Speaker 03

  Bieber?

• 2:53:55Speaker 01

  Kid Cudi said Puff Daddy.

• 2:53:58Speaker 03

  Burned his car.

• 2:53:59Speaker 01

  Broke into his house before Christmas and opened all the gifts for his kids.

• 2:54:03Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 2:54:04Speaker 03

  Yeah. Really? That's like the Grinch.

• 2:54:06Joe Rogan?

  And he called him when he's in his house.

• 2:54:09Speaker 02

  Hey, buddy, I'm in your house. Just wanted to listen to you in your house right now.

• 2:54:12Speaker 01

  He opened all the presents under the tree.

• 2:54:13Speaker 03

  Holy shit. That's insane.

• 2:54:16Speaker 01

  It's the funniest thing I've ever heard.

• 2:54:18Speaker 03

  That's hilarious.

• 2:54:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's like Ari. Ari might be fucking white Diddy.

• 2:54:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:54:22Speaker 01

  That's a fucking Ari trick.

• 2:54:23Speaker 03

  You hate Christmas, you heeb.

• 2:54:31Speaker 01

  Damn, dude, I can't believe you guys killed him.

• 2:54:35Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:54:35Joe Rogan?

  Jesus.

• 2:54:36Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:54:37Speaker 03

  Santa, too, you would if you could.

• 2:54:39Speaker 01

  You would. If the Jews got there, you're gonna burn your beak.

• 2:54:45Speaker 01

  Jamie, delete the anti-7. No, keep it, it's allowed.

• 2:54:50Speaker 02

  Fifty-five minutes out of this episode, and everyone in the past.

• 2:54:53Speaker 01

  Jamie, I'm not trying to add work, I swear, brother. Sorry, JMo.

• 2:54:58Joe Rogan?

  Jamie's very sensitive on these shows. He needs to be respected.

• 2:55:01Speaker 01

  I guess so. I respect him. JMo, bong a beer, brother. We'd love to have you. Are you sober too, like gay rogue? You have been losing weight. You look good. You look fucking fit. Velvet.

• 2:55:13Speaker 02

  Jamie, bong one beer. Bong one.

• 2:55:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. He's actually, secretly, he's the best guy at bonging beers. I know, right? He does it quietly, and then he comes up here and does it, and he's like, "Yeah, it was nothing."

• 2:55:25Joe Rogan?

  Luke Combs.

• 2:55:26Speaker 01

  Luke Combs?

• 2:55:27Joe Rogan?

  No one can fuck with him. No one can fuck with him. He does it so quick, it's like, it doesn't even make sense. How are you doing that?

• 2:55:33Speaker 01

  Is that a magic trick, then?

• 2:55:35Joe Rogan?

  He just punches the bottom of them, straight from the can, and two seconds, it's gone. You're like, "How?" How you doing it? Skills.

• 2:55:43Speaker 01

  Skill.

• 2:55:44Joe Rogan?

  Come? You can't help yourself.

• 2:55:46Speaker 01

  It's a problem.

• 2:55:49Speaker 01

  There's so many country guys, I can't keep up now.

• 2:55:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's a big popular genre now.

• 2:55:53Speaker 01

  Brian, Zach. Really did blow up. Country blew up. God's country.

• 2:55:57Joe Rogan?

  Well, it used to be a thing that you would have to hide.

• 2:55:59Speaker 02

  People like, what kind of music? Like, anything except country.

• 2:56:02Speaker 01

  Anything but country. Yes! That was a thing!

• 2:56:04Speaker 02

  They wouldn't mention polka.

• 2:56:06Speaker 01

  Right. Have you listened to polka?

• 2:56:08Speaker 02

  No, I guess I got it.

• 2:56:09Joe Rogan?

  Shit rocks.

• 2:56:11Speaker 01

  Go out to Weston, PA, you get a little polka.

• 2:56:13Joe Rogan?

  I remember I was dating this girl in the 90s, I turned her on to Dwight Yoakam. I'm like, "You don't... Stop all this country shit. Just listen to A Thousand Miles From Nowhere. You tell me that's not a good song? You're crazy."

• 2:56:25Speaker 01

  Old country's the best.

• 2:56:26Speaker 02

  Old country rules.

• 2:56:27Joe Rogan?

  Oh, old country's great, but Dwight Yoakam was...

• 2:56:29Speaker 01

  That's why a lot of the new guys are good. Exactly. There's a lot of guys doing old country.

• 2:56:32Speaker 02

  Old country.

• 2:56:33Speaker 01

  That Oliver guy.

• 2:56:33Joe Rogan?

  Guitars, Cadillacs, hillbilly music, that song?

• 2:56:36Speaker 01

  Beer, swigging, fish biting.

• 2:56:39Joe Rogan?

  I mean, what did...

• 2:56:40Speaker 01

  Shit's great.

• 2:56:40Joe Rogan?

  What did Oliver Anthony do? That's... that... I mean, what is that?

• 2:56:44Speaker 01

  Yeah. Who? Oh, yeah, that feels very old. Throwback.

• 2:56:47Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my God. I mean, that is like some shit that's gonna, that's gonna stand the test of time, that song.

• 2:56:53Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:56:53Joe Rogan?

  Whew, that song's gonna be around a long time.

• 2:56:55Speaker 02

  Fucking Beyonce's doing country, that's how popular it is.

• 2:56:57Joe Rogan?

  Right? Yeah. Texas Hold'em? Yeah.

• 2:57:00Speaker 01

  Blowing my mind here.

• 2:57:01Joe Rogan?

  She's winning awards.

• 2:57:05Speaker 03

  She's kinda turning white.

• 2:57:06Joe Rogan?

  Well, I think what happens is...

• 2:57:09Speaker 02

  Once Jay-Z stopped fucking up, she's like, "Let me go full white."

• 2:57:11Speaker 03

  She's like, "Come on now, she's watching her kids."

• 2:57:14Joe Rogan?

  Jay-Z did Jesus. Oh, Jesus. I think what happens is the fucking country just swings one way and they want simpler times.

• 2:57:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:57:22Joe Rogan?

  Terrified of nuclear war, terrified of fucking, "What's going on? What are we doing with Russia?"

• 2:57:27Speaker 03

  You know, it's a big one. The military enrollment went up.

• 2:57:30Joe Rogan?

  Oh, during Trump?

• 2:57:31Speaker 02

  They put out a fucking, uh, white commercial.

• 2:57:33Speaker 03

  A who?

• 2:57:34Speaker 02

  They put out a white guy commercial. They're trying to get the whites.

• 2:57:37Speaker 03

  Well, the whites are out there.

• 2:57:38Speaker 02

  The army's back. They're going, "Hey, come on, whites."

• 2:57:41Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's funny to watch the left try to get the men.

• 2:57:44Speaker 02

  Whites, you gotta fight Iran. Come on, whites.

• 2:57:45Joe Rogan?

  Well, they also stopped the whole...

• 2:57:47Speaker 02

  Why are we fighting Iran?

• 2:57:47Joe Rogan?

  Trans thing in the military. They stopped all that.

• 2:57:50Speaker 03

  What? Let them fight. They're scary.

• 2:57:52Speaker 02

  I love Dave Smith pointing out, it's like, the, the left is like... The left is going, "No, trans people should also kill innocent people in Yemen."

• 2:58:00Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:58:01Speaker 06

  It's like, "You guys are taking the wrong stance."

• 2:58:03Joe Rogan?

  Is that Dave Smith?

• 2:58:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:58:04Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:58:04Speaker 02

  It should be, "Don't kill random people at a wedding party."

• 2:58:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:58:09Joe Rogan?

  Bro, how about when Trump tweeted out that Houthis thing? They got those guys in a circle? And they blow them all up, and Trump's like, "There, we'll never bomb our fucking ships again." Like, okay.

• 2:58:19Speaker 02

  I don't have much advice for the Houthis, other than, "Stop fucking hanging out together."

• 2:58:26Speaker 02

  They literally in a circle, they all walk to a truck.

• 2:58:29Speaker 03

  Oh, right. Yeah.

• 2:58:31Speaker 02

  Guys, one at a time. One at a time.

• 2:58:33Joe Rogan?

  I bet they don't do that anymore.

• 2:58:35Speaker 02

  They keep doing it. Every time I see a drone strike, it's fucking twenty dudes walking together.

• 2:58:39Joe Rogan?

  Well, the, what the anti-war people are saying is that that's a tribal ceremony. That they do these, they get together in these groups, has nothing to do with the war.

• 2:58:49Speaker 02

  Also possible.

• 2:58:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:58:50Speaker 02

  Like, I didn't know those guys.

• 2:58:51Joe Rogan?

  Well, you can't ask questions when you're in a drone.

• 2:58:54Speaker 03

  It's a terrorist group?

• 2:58:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, you just label a terrorist, kill anybody you want.

• 2:58:59Joe Rogan?

  Do I get a green light? Do I get a green light or no? Green light, green light, green light.

• 2:59:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:59:03Speaker 03

  All of Houthis.

• 2:59:04Speaker 02

  And that's been Bush, Obama, Biden, Trump.

• 2:59:07Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:59:07Speaker 02

  They just kill anybody, label them later.

• 2:59:09Speaker 03

  Ah-ha.

• 2:59:10Joe Rogan?

  Well, the amount of people that are, that get killed by drones that are innocents is off the charts.

• 2:59:15Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:59:15Joe Rogan?

  Any other, any other type of warfare. Like, it's, it's like ninety percent.

• 2:59:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, we gotta go back to swords.

• 2:59:21Speaker 03

  It'd be nice.

• 2:59:22Speaker 01

  It'd be tough to catch it.

• 2:59:23Joe Rogan?

  You're looking at the guy, like, that's the bad guy.

• 2:59:24Speaker 01

  Catch a fucking bystander with a sword?

• 2:59:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:59:28Joe Rogan?

  Well, back then, everybody was a bystander. You know, when they, the sword times, they didn't spare anybody.

• 2:59:33Speaker 03

  You see, they sent drones into Russia, Ukraine, they hit them on that, that roof?

• 2:59:37Speaker 01

  I've heard about this. Everything I've heard from Russia, Ukraine, I've, I've never believed any of it.

• 2:59:42Speaker 03

  Ah, who knows?

• 2:59:43Speaker 01

  It's so much propaganda on both sides.

• 2:59:45Joe Rogan?

  But the one thing that the Ukraine attack is legit, where they bombed all the bombers with the drones.

• 2:59:50Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:59:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they, they, they caused seven billion dollars in damage in one day. And they blew up all these bombers.

• 2:59:58Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, planes.

• 2:59:59Joe Rogan?

  And they sent suicide drones to blow up all these bombers that were like, uh, on these airfields.

• 3:00:04Speaker 01

  Suicide drones is such a great term. It's just a bomb.

• 3:00:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's a remote control, but it, it doesn't shoot things, it flies into things, it detonates.

• 3:00:13Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 3:00:13Joe Rogan?

  That's why they call them suicide drones.

• 3:00:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:00:15Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they, they fly the drone, the drone is the weapon itself. And it's, you know, it's intelligently controlled. And they just fly them into these jets and blow them.

• 3:00:24Speaker 01

  Japan was all over that.

• 3:00:25Joe Rogan?

  Japan was? Oh, yeah.

• 3:00:27Speaker 01

  Kamikaze.

• 3:00:28Joe Rogan?

  Also meth.

• 3:00:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:00:29Joe Rogan?

  That's how they got those guys to do it, meth.

• 3:00:32Speaker 03

  Really?

• 3:00:33Joe Rogan?

  But, yeah, they were all meth, yeah, the, the kamikazes, that was all meth.

• 3:00:36Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 3:00:37Joe Rogan?

  You get those guys methed up and fly them right into the, fuck, a, a, a, a, you're, you know, you're methed out of your fucking mind. Same thing with the, the Nazis at the, in the tanks, the tank guys were the guys that had the most meth.

• 3:00:48Speaker 01

  And the ones who dance at clubs, it's the Methodist molly. Gets you going.

• 3:00:54Joe Rogan?

  Remember the techno Viking, remember that guy?

• 3:00:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:00:57Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:00:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, that guy ruled.

• 3:00:59Joe Rogan?

  There was some guy who was being shitty to some girl and he grabs her by the arm, you, get out of here.

• 3:01:03Speaker 01

  Trying to steal her, like, purse.

• 3:01:05Joe Rogan?

  Some guy gives him a bottle of water, he drinks a little of the water, and then he starts fucking Viking dancing.

• 3:01:09Speaker 01

  Viking ruled. Yeah, Viking dance rules. I saw that on E-bombs world.

• 3:01:13Joe Rogan?

  Can we see that guy, Jamie?

• 3:01:14Speaker 01

  Like, sixth grade, I was like, here we go.

• 3:01:16Speaker 03

  Loved E-bombs.

• 3:01:17Speaker 01

  He's trying to steal.

• 3:01:18Joe Rogan?

  So he takes this guy, hey, get out of here. Get out of here.

• 3:01:22Speaker 01

  I'm with that guy, I'm going home.

• 3:01:24Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you're going home. If you see this fucking dude, that dude has cardio. He'll beat your ass for hours. And then he has to point at him one more time. Go.

• 3:01:33Speaker 03

  You don't wanna fuck with that guy.

• 3:01:36Joe Rogan?

  That guy's, that's the bad motherfucker that hangs in the group.

• 3:01:39Speaker 01

  Let it go, bro.

• 3:01:40Joe Rogan?

  Look at this dork.

• 3:01:41Speaker 01

  Breathe it out.

• 3:01:41Joe Rogan?

  The beta comes over, offers the water.

• 3:01:44Speaker 01

  The beta.

• 3:01:45Speaker 03

  Upside down water.

• 3:01:46Joe Rogan?

  Trying to like, you know, really important.

• 3:01:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, but if that's your boy.

• 3:01:49Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 3:01:49Speaker 01

  If one of your boys is the Viking guy. Chill, bro. I know, I know I got you close to you.

• 3:01:53Joe Rogan?

  And then the dance starts. Give me some music, Jamie.

• 3:01:55Speaker 03

  Is that a gun on the, on the left of him?

• 3:01:58Joe Rogan?

  Techno Viking in the house.

• 3:02:02Speaker 03

  Holy moly, he can move. Black socks all the way up.

• 3:02:05Joe Rogan?

  That guy fucked all the dirty hippies that night.

• 3:02:08Speaker 01

  No one else is dancing. Yeah, I haven't seen it since I was a boy. Now that I'm looking back on it, this guy's kind of fucking gay as shit. No one else is dancing. I remember being a kid thinking he was the man.

• 3:02:18Joe Rogan?

  He's str-.

• 3:02:18Speaker 01

  This guy blows. People are walking through. No one else is dancing like him.

• 3:02:21Speaker 03

  He don't want to hang out with this guy.

• 3:02:22Joe Rogan?

  Now they're dancing.

• 3:02:23Speaker 01

  Fuck no, I don't want to hang out with them. Although, oh, there's the, cut to the dude who got sent away.

• 3:02:28Joe Rogan?

  Poor dude.

• 3:02:29Speaker 03

  Where are we?

• 3:02:30Joe Rogan?

  It's Detroit.

• 3:02:31Speaker 01

  Berlin.

• 3:02:32Speaker 03

  Oh, is it? Okay.

• 3:02:34Speaker 01

  Techno.

• 3:02:35Joe Rogan?

  Berlin.

• 3:02:35Speaker 03

  Oh, Berlin. That makes sense.

• 3:02:37Speaker 01

  Fuck parade.

• 3:02:40Speaker 01

  It's a fuck parade. That could be the new name of Protect Our Parks. The fuck parade. That really is a fuck parade. 2000 fuck parade Berlin.

• 3:02:49Speaker 03

  This is what pride is.

• 3:02:50Joe Rogan?

  Boy, I hope they don't all gang up together and fight Russia.

• 3:02:53Speaker 03

  Got a crazy weird abs.

• 3:02:55Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 3:02:56Speaker 03

  Uneven.

• 3:02:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, mismatched.

• 3:02:58Joe Rogan?

  A lot of abs are like that.

• 3:02:59Speaker 05

  This almost says that could have been, this whole thing could have been staged. They're not sure.

• 3:03:02Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 3:03:02Speaker 05

  Because it was made by an artist, the whole video.

• 3:03:04Speaker 03

  Oh, it's totally staged.

• 3:03:06Joe Rogan?

  That totally makes sense because the way he pointed was so performative.

• 3:03:10Speaker 05

  Cut back to the guy too. Why would they have followed up on the guy that?

• 3:03:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is Twisted Sister.

• 3:03:13Joe Rogan?

  Jamie, always getting into the bond with things.

• 3:03:16Speaker 01

  Jamie, you're great and we all love you.

• 3:03:17Joe Rogan?

  We do love you, Jamie.

• 3:03:18Speaker 01

  You know we all love you. I know you got fired up earlier. Sorry about all that.

• 3:03:21Joe Rogan?

  Well, you, you stick bringing up Ohio, you get his fucking hackles up.

• 3:03:25Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 3:03:27Speaker 01

  This fucking asshole ass, he brought up fucking Notre Dame.

• 3:03:29Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but because you, you gotta let him slide. It's like when you have a little kid, can't yell at him.

• 3:03:34Speaker 01

  By the way, this is classic Ohio State. They won the title. And they're still babies.

• 3:03:41Speaker 03

  Oh, boy.

• 3:03:42Speaker 01

  They're still babies. You can get on the skin. You can go, you know, you guys lost to Michigan? They all go, nah.

• 3:03:48Speaker 06

  Fuck you.

• 3:03:50Speaker 05

  You guys won't even play them anymore.

• 3:03:51Speaker 01

  Oh, boy. They won't play us, dude.

• 3:03:53Speaker 05

  Oh, whatever.

• 3:03:54Speaker 01

  Be careful. Look into that history.

• 3:03:56Speaker 05

  You know what, Texas, though? Texas plays Ohio State, first game of the season, and they won't play them on Sunday night.

• 3:04:01Speaker 01

  I did see that. That pissed me off.

• 3:04:02Speaker 05

  Why not?

• 3:04:03Speaker 01

  Because they don't, they don't, they don't want it to be a night game.

• 3:04:05Speaker 05

  No.

• 3:04:06Speaker 01

  Why? Because fans, it's, it's a much more rowdy environment. They want a fucking noon, they want a noon kickoff.

• 3:04:13Speaker 05

  It's Sunday. It's the Lord's Day.

• 3:04:15Speaker 01

  It's coward, it's coward's work.

• 3:04:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, they want, they want hungover people.

• 3:04:18Joe Rogan?

  That's funny when you have to schedule your games based on how fucked up people will be. Like, let's be careful. Let's not let them, 10 p.m. game. Oh, my God.

• 3:04:26Speaker 01

  Joe, you would love watching Michigan walk into Ohio State.

• 3:04:29Joe Rogan?

  Can I see it?

• 3:04:30Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 3:04:34Joe Rogan?

  See, he's got the controls. Not today, Satan.

• 3:04:37Speaker 05

  Only because you asked. I'll show it.

• 3:04:39Joe Rogan?

  Oh, you asked.

• 3:04:40Speaker 01

  Michigan, who I hate more than Ohio State, did suck this year. They're playing at Ohio State. Michigan has owned them for no fucking...

• 3:04:49Speaker 02

  Three straight years going into this?

• 3:04:50Speaker 01

  No, yeah, three straight, yeah. And, uh, it's just nice to watch a team walk into an entire environment that hates you.

• 3:04:58Joe Rogan?

  What's it?

• 3:04:59Speaker 01

  And they're just together, just walking. I mean, it's...

• 3:05:04Speaker 01

  And I hate Michigan.

• 3:05:05Speaker 02

  And Michigan's not even good here?

• 3:05:06Speaker 01

  But it's nice to watch.

• 3:05:07Speaker 02

  But they haven't lost to Ohio State. So it's like a juju, it's like a great MMA. Okay, here we go.

• 3:05:12Joe Rogan?

  Ooh.

• 3:05:13Speaker 05

  So wait, they're not wanted? It's only gonna play 20 seconds, though.

• 3:05:17Speaker 01

  That's all right. When it shows the stadium.

• 3:05:20Speaker 05

  Damn, that's quite a stadium.

• 3:05:21Joe Rogan?

  Wow, imagine being one of those guys, imagine being one of those guys about to play this game. Fuck CTE, let's go.

• 3:05:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, fuck CTE.

• 3:05:28Joe Rogan?

  Let's go.

• 3:05:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, fuck it. What, I want to be smart when I'm fucking 70? Who gives a fuck?

• 3:05:35Speaker 05

  Is this it?

• 3:05:36Joe Rogan?

  Is this it?

• 3:05:37Speaker 05

  Oh, this is Ohio State. You're gonna watch that, you're gonna watch this.

• 3:05:40Speaker 01

  What's this?

• 3:05:42Joe Rogan?

  Watch this, let's play this, too.

• 3:05:46Speaker 01

  Oh for two.

• 3:05:47Joe Rogan?

  I want to hear this. I want to hear this when they get out on the field.

• 3:05:57Speaker 01

  Oh, this is not the Michigan game. It's Tennessee. Yeah.

• 3:06:02Speaker 01

  Shit rules. Man, these guys are fired up. This is how I felt coming here today.

• 3:06:06Speaker 02

  First ever December game?

• 3:06:08Speaker 01

  That's when Ohio State turned it around.

• 3:06:11Speaker 02

  What is first ever December game?

• 3:06:14Speaker 01

  They just added the playoffs this year, so there's never been games this late.

• 3:06:19Speaker 01

  That's exciting. Oh, we're doing this?

• 3:06:22Joe Rogan?

  God, this is amazing.

• 3:06:24Speaker 01

  Enter Sandman, Virginia Tech, Miami. We did it? We did that already. We got some good entrances. Hold on.

• 3:06:30Joe Rogan?

  Sandman's the greatest fucking, the greatest beginning of a game song of all time.

• 3:06:35Speaker 01

  Fuck, I'm trying to think of some good entrances.

• 3:06:41Speaker 01

  Metallica just played. Metallica just played Blacksburg. They played Virginia Tech Stadium.

• 3:06:47Joe Rogan?

  Bro, how about when they played Berlin after the fall?

• 3:06:50Speaker 01

  Is that right?

• 3:06:50Joe Rogan?

  Oh my God.

• 3:06:51Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no. You're thinking Moscow.

• 3:06:53Joe Rogan?

  Moscow, that's right. They played Moscow and there's like a million people there.

• 3:06:58Speaker 01

  We watched that. We watched that.

• 3:06:59Joe Rogan?

  It's the most insane concert you've ever seen in your life. You need to see it right. Ari needs to see it right now.

• 3:07:03Speaker 01

  Ari's definitely seen it in that seat.

• 3:07:06Joe Rogan?

  But he needs to see it right now because he's in another dimension right now.

• 3:07:09Speaker 02

  After that, you got to show Billy Joel and USSR.

• 3:07:11Speaker 01

  We've done that too.

• 3:07:12Speaker 02

  We saw that.

• 3:07:13Speaker 01

  We've done that as well.

• 3:07:14Speaker 02

  It was the punk that's ever been.

• 3:07:15Joe Rogan?

  Have we ever played Led Zeppelin?

• 3:07:17Speaker 01

  Jump Around, Wisconsin, that's a good one. The sound isn't as good as it used to be. What about, there's an Ariana Grande concert in London. Manchester, you asshole.

• 3:07:28Joe Rogan?

  Imagine being in that audience?

• 3:07:34Joe Rogan?

  Look at that fucking crowd!

• 3:07:41Speaker 01

  Is this Berlin? It's Blacksburg, Virginia. They're about to watch some mediocre football.

• 3:07:51Speaker 01

  Yo, hokey!

• 3:08:02Speaker 03

  Hey, hey, white fam members.

• 3:08:06Speaker 01

  I'd love to tell you I didn't watch this earlier today.

• 3:08:13Speaker 03

  Oh, man.

• 3:08:14Speaker 02

  This is the fucking Coliseum.

• 3:08:24Speaker 03

  Oh, you gotta run there.

• 3:08:34Speaker 01

  Man.

• 3:08:35Joe Rogan?

  What a fucking song.

• 3:08:36Speaker 01

  America fucking rules. What a country. What are we talking about?

• 3:08:40Joe Rogan?

  Of course, people walk here from Guatemala.

• 3:08:43Speaker 01

  Dude, if I saw Wisconsin going this crazy and I lived in Guatemala, I would go, "Bro, I'm gonna walk."

• 3:08:48Joe Rogan?

  I'm going across that fucking desert.

• 3:08:51Speaker 01

  There you go, JMo.

• 3:08:52Joe Rogan?

  Extra bottles of water and I'm making it across that fucking desert.

• 3:08:56Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:08:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, that video we just showed, that's 65,000 people in the crowd, the first one we watched was Ohio Stadium, and this place here is double.

• 3:09:02Speaker 01

  Holy shit. This is the big house.

• 3:09:05Joe Rogan?

  Seventy thousand now, holy shit.

• 3:09:07Speaker 01

  You know how I was supposed to perform there this year? Yeah, really? Me and Zach Bryan, we're gonna do Michigan Stadium. Yeah. And, uh, they said no to me. But then they catch back on, I thought. Well, Notre Dame got me. Oh, that's great.

• 3:09:19Joe Rogan?

  What? They said no to you?

• 3:09:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, what the fuck? What did you do?

• 3:09:22Joe Rogan?

  I fucking some stuff.

• 3:09:27Speaker 01

  Said a couple things, come on, man, you guys are joking around.

• 3:09:29Joe Rogan?

  This is back in the day, I didn't mean it. Um, let's play, uh, let's leave with, uh, Russia. Do Enter Saman in Russia.

• 3:09:36Speaker 01

  Oh, shit. Don't.

• 3:09:38Joe Rogan?

  That's the shit.

• 3:09:38Speaker 01

  Don't do it. Do we wanna promote Russia?

• 3:09:40Joe Rogan?

  Look at the size of the crowd, nah, it's just the fucking people.

• 3:09:42Speaker 01

  No, this is America giving it to Russia. This is America going, America going, "Bro, you wanna see what's good?" Okay.

• 3:09:47Joe Rogan?

  Look at the size of the fucking crowd. This is Moscow, 1991. Look at that crowd.

• 3:09:53Speaker 01

  Holy shit, how many people is that? Helicopter right over it?

• 3:09:57Joe Rogan?

  Bro, it has to be millions.

• 3:09:58Speaker 05

  They said it's over a million, for sure.

• 3:09:59Speaker 01

  Why is the helicopter right there? It's the end of your empire. Yeah. For real, you go, "We're all poor." This is Putin saw this and goes, "I'll be back." Yeah, he came back. Kinda sick.

• 3:10:10Joe Rogan?

  Right, he's in the KGB at the time, going, "Yeah."

• 3:10:14Speaker 01

  Going, "Nah." Moscow. Yule.

• 3:10:20Speaker 01

  Oh shit.

• 3:10:21Joe Rogan?

  Look at that fucking crowd. Jesus Christ. Can you imagine being on that stage with that energy feels like?

• 3:10:26Speaker 01

  No.

• 3:10:32Speaker 05

  1.6 million.

• 3:10:33Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god.

• 3:10:34Speaker 01

  In the crowd? Man, it's like Sunset Club.

• 3:10:38Speaker 05

  Some things just up to 2 million.

• 3:10:40Speaker 01

  1.6 million in the crowd?

• 3:10:42Joe Rogan?

  That's so crazy. You do one show, you retire.

• 3:10:45Speaker 01

  Yep. No, they didn't. How was the paycheck, I wonder?

• 3:10:49Joe Rogan?

  Oh, must have been in rubles.

• 3:10:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, it must have been nothing.

• 3:10:52Joe Rogan?

  You get 5 potatoes and your life. You get to live.

• 3:10:57Speaker 01

  We are not going to kill you, so...

• 3:10:59Joe Rogan?

  Congratulations.

• 3:11:00Speaker 01

  Long-haired gays.

• 3:11:05Speaker 01

  Alright, wait. I know we're trying to play it out. This is crazy. Keep it coming. I don't want to go home. Now, JMo.

• 3:11:13Speaker 01

  Woodstock 99 corn. Alright, we really hit the bottom here. Hold on. Woodstock corn? Trust me daddy. Trust me daddy. I hate corn.

• 3:11:26Speaker 01

  This is nuts.

• 3:11:34Speaker 01

  Oh, they need this.

• 3:11:37Speaker 03

  Let's protect our parks.

• 3:11:40Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 3:11:43Joe Rogan?

  I mean, there's supposed to be no experience on earth like being Hatfield on that stage. There's no experience in on earth.

• 3:11:51Speaker 01

  Also, there's no coming back.

• 3:11:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 3:11:54Speaker 01

  What do you mean? Have you seen... You go...

• 3:11:58Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 3:11:59Speaker 01

  What? What's the Asian guy who does the biggest song in the world? Phew. Sorry.

• 3:12:03Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that guy.

• 3:12:04Speaker 01

  Gangnam Style. Gangnam Style. What, he comes up from the stage? Just trust me on Woodstock 99 corn. I mean... Look, you're allowed to not like corn. I didn't really like corn until I saw this fucking video. We'll see it, we'll see it. It's on my intros. I trust you. Alright, then we got Gangnam Style.

• 3:12:20Joe Rogan?

  You would never throw so bad one?

• 3:12:22Speaker 01

  I wouldn't do this, other than that Bulldog video that never got brought up. Trust me.

• 3:12:25Joe Rogan?

  You're fucked up with Ohio dishes.

• 3:12:28Speaker 01

  Never got brought up.

• 3:12:29Joe Rogan?

  Here it is.

• 3:12:30Speaker 01

  Just... Alright, I saw some chicks. You're allowed to not like corn. Look at all those skanks fans. Do you see this crowd? Look at the jugs on jig... jig league.

• 3:12:41Speaker 01

  Ben Flaxton.

• 3:12:42Speaker 03

  Ninety-nine.

• 3:12:43Speaker 01

  Not Israel.

• 3:12:44Speaker 03

  It was pre nine eleven.

• 3:12:47Speaker 05

  This was on pay-per-view.

• 3:12:48Speaker 03

  Oh shit. That guy's

• 3:12:52Speaker 03

  full hood.

• 3:12:58Speaker 03

  I remember this song. From my youth.

• 3:13:03Speaker 05

  I think the idea here, keep an eye on the crowd, right?

• 3:13:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:13:05Speaker 05

  When the

• 3:13:06Speaker 01

  And also, you know what got me was

• 3:13:07Joe Rogan?

  Break Yourself?

• 3:13:08Speaker 01

  The lead singer's face when he walks out and sees the crowd.

• 3:13:12Joe Rogan?

  He gets it.

• 3:13:13Speaker 01

  Like, you just watch a guy like, take that energy in.

• 3:13:23Speaker 03

  This is a weird time in music, like, rock, rap.

• 3:13:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:13:29Speaker 05

  DMX, played earlier in the day.

• 3:13:31Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 3:13:31Speaker 01

  Kid Rock.

• 3:13:33Speaker 03

  Limp Bizkit.

• 3:13:36Speaker 03

  Oh geez.

• 3:13:54Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god. Oh my god, look at that crowd.

• 3:13:58Speaker 03

  Look at the crowd.

• 3:13:58Joe Rogan?

  Bro, that crowd's alive.

• 3:13:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's crazy.

• 3:14:00Joe Rogan?

  That's a living organism. Imagine being an alien, and you come down, you watch this, you're like, what the fuck are they doing? The pinnacle of their existence seems to be giving yourself CTE in front of a million people.

• 3:14:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:14:15Joe Rogan?

  Head banging.

• 3:14:16Speaker 01

  Anyway, that one got me going.

• 3:14:18Speaker 03

  That's fun. That was the nineties, baby.

• 3:14:20Joe Rogan?

  What was the last one that we wanted to do?

• 3:14:21Speaker 03

  Gangnam Style.

• 3:14:22Joe Rogan?

  Gangnam Style.

• 3:14:23Speaker 03

  I mean, when he does that jump out.

• 3:14:24Joe Rogan?

  The jump out.

• 3:14:25Speaker 01

  Gangnam Style, fucking rocks.

• 3:14:26Joe Rogan?

  Jump out for the win. Did he have any other big hits other than that?

• 3:14:29Speaker 03

  No, he faded away.

• 3:14:31Joe Rogan?

  No, he had one other big one. Right off that one.

• 3:14:33Speaker 03

  Really?

• 3:14:34Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 3:14:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, I kinda remember it too.

• 3:14:35Joe Rogan?

  Norman already shut him down.

• 3:14:36Speaker 03

  Wow, I thought he got the COVID.

• 3:14:38Joe Rogan?

  Not giving the man his flowers, as the kids like to say.

• 3:14:40Speaker 03

  Oh shit, my bad.

• 3:14:42Joe Rogan?

  No one's like, fuck him, fuck him, he went away.

• 3:14:47Joe Rogan?

  Psyop.

• 3:14:50Speaker 01

  Here we go.

• 3:14:50Speaker 03

  Oh, well, I mean, the wait.

• 3:14:51Joe Rogan?

  It's just for him.

• 3:14:53Speaker 03

  This isn't it, is it?

• 3:14:54Joe Rogan?

  That's not it. No, the one where he pops out of the floor.

• 3:14:56Speaker 03

  He gotta pop out.

• 3:14:57Speaker 01

  That was like, the fucking Asian Macarena.

• 3:14:59Joe Rogan?

  There's that one where he comes flying out of the floor, this is it.

• 3:15:03Speaker 03

  The Macarena.

• 3:15:04Joe Rogan?

  Watch this.

• 3:15:07Speaker 03

  I'm in.

• 3:15:09Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 3:15:10Speaker 03

  Can you imagine that feeling?

• 3:15:11Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 3:15:12Speaker 03

  That fucking rules. And he goes right into it. Holy shit. Whoa, oh my god. They're gonna all kill us eventually.

• 3:15:23Speaker 03

  Holy shit. Oh, they're chanting, it's fucking Squid Game. Look at the size of that crowd.

• 3:15:29Speaker 01

  It's literally drone footage, dude, we're gonna rock them.

• 3:15:35Speaker 03

  Holy shit. Holy shit. That's insane.

• 3:15:44Speaker 03

  Wow. Wow. How many people was that, I wonder? Holy shit. It shook the whole place, yeah, no shit. That's millions of people.

• 3:15:53Speaker 01

  Can you imagine being his wife? Be like, "Hey, could you clean up a little?" "See what I fucking did, you fucking idiot?"

• 3:16:01Speaker 03

  I just flew out of the floor. "Shut the fuck up and cook me a sandwich." "Alright, we're done." Should we eat? God bless America. Yeah.

• 3:16:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, hell yeah.

• 3:16:10Speaker 02

  Let's go get some gout.

• 3:16:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:16:14Speaker 03

  Gout of order. Bye, everybody.