‘Someone to Watch Over Me’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan spend the night in the Upper East Side with Mike and Claire as they rewatch Ridley Scott’s 1987 crime thriller ‘Someone to Watch Over Me’—starring Tom Berenger, Mimi Rogers, and Lorraine Bracco Podcast Manager: Craig Horlbeck Video Producers: Ronak Nair and Jack Sanders Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Welcome to the brand new Zach Lowe Show. That's right, I'm back to have the same in-depth NBA conversations you're used to. We're going to talk about the games, the X's and O's, the drama. The playoffs are coming up and now you get to see every episode in full on video on Spotify and on my own YouTube channel. Episodes drop every Monday and Thursday with a collection of guests you're gonna love. So make sure you follow and subscribe to the brand new Zach Lowe Show on Spotify or wherever you watch or listen to your podcasts. Let's go!

• 0:35Speaker 01

  Observe the North American dad. 50's, great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, dang, that's a good offer. The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him boss. He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.

• 1:05Bill Simmons?

  When the sun goes down, the appetizers come out. Yeah, you heard that right. Late night half-price appetizers are here at Applebee's. Saucy, sweet and spicy boneless wings. Crispy, cheesy mozzarella sticks. Creamy spinach and artichoke dip. Your favorite app's half-price available every single night because why should appetizers have curfews? Tap the banner to learn more. Dining only for a limited time at participating locations. Restrictions apply. Copyright 2026 Applebee's Restaurant LLC. The Rewatchables are brought to you by The Ringer Podcast Network. Where you can find the watch with CR. Still in on The Last of Us?

• 1:44Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, still in.

• 1:44Bill Simmons?

  Heard shit's going down on that show.

• 1:46Chris Ryan?

  It's all going down, yeah. Nobody's safe.

• 1:48Bill Simmons?

  Nobody's safe. It's a nobody's safe show.

• 1:51Chris Ryan?

  How about Andor? Are you gonna check that out?

• 1:53Bill Simmons?

  You keep telling me to.

• 1:54Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, a novelistic approach to the Star Wars galaxy.

• 1:56Bill Simmons?

  I just wanna see Jon Hamm steal from his friends. That's where, that's where MTV was. My name is Bill Simmons. CR and I have been doing, we did the first Rewatchables ever. It started in my, it started my pool house. This might be the last one. Every once in a while, we do one for us. We've been circling this for a while, but really. Tubi, who is not a sponsor of this podcast. And I'm mad at Tubi because they won't give us Kiss the Death and they can actually fuck off. So this is not a sponsor. But every once in a while, Tubi understands us. And they kept shoving Someone to Watch Over Me.

• 2:31Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 2:32Bill Simmons?

  Always, "Hey, have you heard about this movie?" It's like, not only have I heard about this movie, I've seen it 30 times. And we said, "Fuck it, we're doing the rewatchables, it's next."

• 2:41Speaker 04

  An unwilling witness.

• 2:43Speaker 05

  I never saw anybody killed before. I've never been a detective before.

• 2:48Speaker 04

  Undeniable attraction. You get off this case or you don't come home. Unprostined danger.

• 2:55Speaker 05

  I know you have a wife. I'm not asking for anything, but I'm scared.

• 3:00Speaker 04

  A classic thriller with a twist of romance. Someone to Watch Over Me, rated R. Special advance preview Saturday at select theaters.

• 3:22Bill Simmons?

  All right, CR. I thought Craig's text this week encapsulated this one perfectly. He's flying home from the draft and he texted us about this movie. "I looked this movie up and it's exactly the type of shit that gets me fired up for a rewatchables. Mid-budget action movie I've never heard of with a big director and some has-been actors."

• 3:42Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Well, for Craig, it are has-beens. For us, they were, they were the big, beautiful faces on screen.

• 3:47Bill Simmons?

  They were was's or they were is's. They were gonna be's.

• 3:53Bill Simmons?

  So I have the flawed rewatchables checklist. Because we've had some flawed rewatchables. We've done a lot of ones for us.

• 3:58Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:59Bill Simmons?

  Eight Millimeter, probably one of my favorites.

• 4:02Chris Ryan?

  You just got to meet the machine. You want to talk about that a little bit?

• 4:04Bill Simmons?

  Machine. You know, I really, I really, I really blew it by not saying, "Machine, love your work."

• 4:12Bill Simmons?

  Because I kind of froze. I think, I think Chris Bauer, who plays Machine, was so stunned that I opened with, "I love Eight Millimeter."

• 4:20Chris Ryan?

  What did he, literally, what did he say when you said that?

• 4:22Bill Simmons?

  He was just, because I'm sure these guys-

• 4:24Chris Ryan?

  He gets Subaca, he gets a lot of stuff.

• 4:26Bill Simmons?

  He must get a lot of Subaca. He must get a lot of heels.

• 4:29Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 4:29Bill Simmons?

  A lot, who knows?

• 4:31Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 4:31Bill Simmons?

  Maybe he was on Law and Order. But yeah, I don't think he gets a lot of Eight Millimeter. Anyway, flawed rewatchables checklist, here we go.

• 4:39Bill Simmons?

  Is it okay if your movie is flawed, but it's an incredibly cool hang? I think it is.

• 4:46Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 4:47Bill Simmons?

  Is it okay if I like the performances more than the actual movie they're in? I'm gonna say yes. Is it okay if I had a great time the entire time and then the ending fell apart? And I'm not gonna hold it against the movie. And then is it okay if an excellent director said, "Plot schmat." "I care more about how this looks." What are the flawed rewatchables, like, things? Where you're just like, "I'm just gonna forgive this, cuz I'm having a great time."

• 5:15Chris Ryan?

  I think there's gotta be a big ensemble that you're excited about seeing.

• 5:19Bill Simmons?

  Oh, just randos.

• 5:20Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, random guys. I think Someone to Watch Over Me has a bunch of really random choices by random actors.

• 5:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 5:27Chris Ryan?

  Where you're like, "Why are you bringing this energy to this scene, my man?" And it's like, "Doesn't matter, you're dead anyway."

• 5:32Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 5:33Chris Ryan?

  I love that. I think a lot of faces, so Someone to Watch Over Me has, you'll see like, "Oh, there's Jerry Orbach." There's Mark Moses. Like, a lot of guys that are just kinda floating around in there. And I gotta say, for us, I think flawed rewatchables do demand a little bit of sexual intercourse. Like, I think it helps to have like a little bit of sex, a little bit of violence, a lot of smoking.

• 5:57Bill Simmons?

  Well, we'll talk later about whether there was enough.

• 5:59Chris Ryan?

  I know. But just even like the hint of it, or like the neurosis around it, I think it really helps.

• 6:04Bill Simmons?

  So, I watched, I put this on Tubi last week cuz I couldn't find anything. And it was like 11:30 at night. I was doing my classic, "I'm not quite tired enough yet of any movie." And I just put it on and then ended up watching the whole thing. And that was when I texted you after, I was like, "We just gotta bang this out." So, I could stop watching this. But I think the number one reason I like this movie is cuz I'm just, I saw this movie when I was probably a senior in high school. I just love Mimi Rogers in this movie. And I don't, we can have the whole Mimi Rogers conversation later, but this Claire character is so compelling. But then, we also have this Lorraine Bracco.

• 6:39Chris Ryan?

  This is the thing, is that I feel like you and I are Wilbon and Kornheiser here, where I'm like, "That's your girl, Mimi Rogers." But I'm like mesmerized by Lorraine Bracco in this movie.

• 6:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, when this movie came out, nobody knew who she was. It was a complete out of nowhere. And it was a complete out of nowhere for Mimi Rogers. And the only person we had a history with was Behringer. But you have this moral choice for this cop. Where he's like, I have this great queen, and they do a really good job with the family life stuff. This great family life. My house is just big enough. It's cool. We're all together. We bust each other's balls. I have all these great friends. And my wife is cool and she's, she's kinda like queen's hot.

• 7:18Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. A queen's eight.

• 7:21Bill Simmons?

  Queen's nine and a half. And then, and then he's with Mimi Rogers and he goes into her world for five seconds and he's like, this is Princess Diana?

• 7:30Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 7:30Bill Simmons?

  Um, and he's just battling that, but I think the most, I, my wife was, we were talking about this and she's like, why do we like this movie so much? And I, and I said, cause it pulls off the hardest thing you can pull off. Somebody's doing something terrible. But you can kinda see it and you're not holding it against them.

• 7:47Chris Ryan?

  Isn't this why we love this like eighty-five to ninety-five, ninety-seven run where you get?

• 7:54Chris Ryan?

  All these like erotic thrillers and indie movies like where it's body double, body heat, Sea of Love, Big Easy, Fatal Attraction, Sex Lies and Videotape. All the way up through Eyes Wide Shut even. Where you're like, this is just really interesting. There might be a genre movie happening around it. So there's a cop movie happening around it. But what you're there for is this guy's midlife crisis and this crossroads that he comes for, comes to where he's like, God, this is like a complete fantasy land up here in Manhattan, but then I have like this decent life.

• 8:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 8:24Chris Ryan?

  And you're actually kind of like, you can see both sides of it. No matter where you are in your life, you can kinda see like, I can see why this would be pretty seductive, but also you got your kid and your wife over here and you.

• 8:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you're doing good.

• 8:35Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 8:35Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's a moral crossroads movie. Maybe that's the genre. Fatal Attraction, which comes out the same year. This is just, and this is probably Tubi's greatest year, eighty-seven. They should just have one of the categories should be, and by the way, this is not an ad for Tubi because they could fuck off because they haven't given us Kiss of Death yet. But they could do a carousel category just called eighty-seven.

• 8:57Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 8:57Bill Simmons?

  And there's like twenty of these that they made this year, but Fatal Attraction was the one that I think did the best.

• 9:03Chris Ryan?

  I would like that the carousel should be called, you should probably go home now.

• 9:09Bill Simmons?

  Don't have that drink.

• 9:10Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, don't have that martini with her.

• 9:12Bill Simmons?

  But it's a lot of, they'll set up in the beginning, oh, man, this guy's really got a nice life.

• 9:17Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 9:17Bill Simmons?

  Really, there's usually only one kid. They never have two, because two, it gets a little chaotic. The one kid they can both have the relationship with, he'll bust the parents' balls. They'll throw some scene in the first 15 minutes where either they just had sex, or they're thinking about it, and the wife still looks good. But you can also see why he would get seduced by Mimi Rogers, or crazy Glenn Close with her hair. There's, he's kind of, you know, this is, he's settled into whatever his life's gonna be, but there's that small piece of him going, huh, I wonder what else is out there?

• 9:51Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 9:52Bill Simmons?

  And these movies just attacked it for 10 years.

• 9:54Chris Ryan?

  So I love the way this movie opens the first few scenes outside of the nightclub part, where you're getting to see Tom Berenger's character, Mike Keegan, he's got this duplex in Queens, and he's making breakfast for his family.

• 10:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 10:09Chris Ryan?

  And it's very homey, but you can see him tripping over skateboards. The kid is really fun, but when he's like done with his napkin, he just throws it into the kitchen. Like, everything about it is like charming, but like, a little like, man, we're really like, living on top of each other here.

• 10:25Bill Simmons?

  We're cramped in here.

• 10:26Chris Ryan?

  And then when he goes to Claire's apartment, he gets lost in it. It's so big that he can't find his way back. There's so many doors. And really, Scott never like overdoes it. He does it by visually showing you what a completely different universe this guy is in. And that's where you get to the really Scott part of this, where it's like, this guy is so talented to be doing basically like a pulpy erotic thriller.

• 10:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 10:50Chris Ryan?

  Um, and he's, he's able to elevate it, I think.

• 10:54Bill Simmons?

  So, off of what you just said, Mimi Rogers had this quote. Ridley Scott is the most visual director I've ever worked with. He actually paints with light and with lenses with angles. And it's a very unique process. It becomes an element of the story because Ridley creates such a strong mood with his visuals. And she was saying like, he almost cared more about how something looked than, than what the actors were doing.

• 11:20Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:20Bill Simmons?

  And she was saying, there was that YouTube interview, I did a Mimi Rogers deep dive.

• 11:25Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 11:25Bill Simmons?

  Our girl Bobby Waggant, who had these weird interviews in Dallas, where they just keep the cameras rolling even before the interview starts.

• 11:32Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, it's just like, oh, it's good to see you again.

• 11:34Bill Simmons?

  And it's the most awkward things you've ever seen. And she's got like the big bun hairdo.

• 11:39Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 11:40Bill Simmons?

  And she's just like, Chris, so the watch, it's doing well, huh? And then you're like, yeah, it is doing well. And you could just tell these people are doing 130 interviews in five days.

• 11:52Chris Ryan?

  We've kind of now arrived back at that where it's like, you know, the Sinner's cast and they're like, do your favorite dog's reverse ranked top five.

• 12:00Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, there's more creativity.

• 12:01Chris Ryan?

  While eating your favorite snack.

• 12:03Bill Simmons?

  Eat these hot chicken wings.

• 12:05Chris Ryan?

  But you're answering for Hailee Steinfeld. And you're just like, okay, man, like.

• 12:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, back then it was, it was more simple questions like, you have such beautiful hair, but your hair is different in the movie. Why is it different? That's an actual question Bobby Waggant answered.

• 12:20Chris Ryan?

  Is it hard to kiss someone you're not married to?

• 12:22Bill Simmons?

  Right, right. So it's a lot of stuff like that. But Mimi Rogers said, yeah, I cut, when my hair's shorter, it gets fluffier. But Ridley wanted me to put these little blonde highlights in it. So my hair's a little lighter because so much of what we filmed that night was in the dark.

• 12:36Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:37Bill Simmons?

  And a dark, like shadows, all this stuff. And he wanted the light to hit the highlights of my hair. And it's like Ridley Scott, you're the fucking man.

• 12:45Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 12:45Bill Simmons?

  Even this movie, that's a pretty average plot for a late eighties movie. And he's just like, I'm making a Picasso out of this movie.

• 12:54Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, he obviously wanted to make something that paid tribute to 40s and 50s noir movies.

• 13:01Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 13:01Chris Ryan?

  But also brings like his very modern, very commercial sensibility. A lot of people and I have talked about how, you know, you'll watch a Ridley Scott movie and if you close your eyes, sometimes you think it's a Tony Scott movie. I wonder whether or not, you know, we can have the like, in the director what ifs, casting what if stuff, like, we can talk about whether this would be a cooler Tony Scott movie than a Ridley Scott movie.

• 13:22Bill Simmons?

  We have three more action scenes.

• 13:24Chris Ryan?

  Um, but Ridley like is also really, really good at like locations. So like picking a place to set action that just feels like the apartment, the Guggenheim, the nightclub, like.

• 13:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 13:37Chris Ryan?

  He's just fantastic at like being.

• 13:38Bill Simmons?

  Or Behringer walking the streets.

• 13:40Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 13:40Bill Simmons?

  And it's, and as usual in New York movies, nobody's on the street.

• 13:43Chris Ryan?

  Right.

• 13:43Bill Simmons?

  There's not a single hobo, anything, just, just wet streets with sunlight streaming off them.

• 13:49Chris Ryan?

  Jumping the rails.

• 13:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, there's nobody, nobody's gonna stab you. He was in, I think it was like the third or fourth premiere magazine ever. I'm gonna show it on camera, cause we're now a video podcast. Where.

• 14:02Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 14:03Bill Simmons?

  Check him out. Like now he's, he looks like Logan Roy now, but back then, uh, younger. But he wrote this piece about why he wanted to make this movie. And he was coming off The Duelist, the movie that you and Sean, we might have to re-watchables that one at some point.

• 14:18Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 14:18Bill Simmons?

  Um, Blade Runner, he did Legend, he, he, he felt like.

• 14:23Chris Ryan?

  Alien.

• 14:24Bill Simmons?

  Alien, he felt like he was becoming pigeonholed as this kind of like grand idea, you know, sci-fi, alien, whatever. And he really just, he said, someone to watch over me was to be a change of pace for me. It's set in present day New York and it deals with the lives and relationships of contemporary characters. And then he did all this research, which I thought was funny, where he really wanted to study Queens, how cops interacted. And I was just thinking how funny that would have been in like 1986, you have this like this Ridley Scott showing up.

• 14:55Chris Ryan?

  British guy directed Alien is just like.

• 14:56Bill Simmons?

  Hey, can I just watch you guys interact in this bowling alley? What happens at the pub?

• 15:02Chris Ryan?

  It is pretty crazy. He makes these two films that are essentially like genre defining for the the decades to come for Blade Runner and Alien. And you would think that like, he would pretty much be in what we would consider like, almost like a Kubrick zone in terms of like, every four years, I'm gonna make a mind altering masterpiece. But he just really likes working. And he really likes, he still does. I mean,

• 15:25Bill Simmons?

  It's a lot of Soderberghy, right?

• 15:27Chris Ryan?

  Knocking out two movies a year practically. Uh, so this is kind of like, an interesting, it's funny to see him come almost full circle now where he'll just make, you know, the House of Gucci or something like that because he's interested in this mystery in the heart of like, the high fashion world. This is clearly just something that, that piqued his interest. And also, like, I think you said, like, he just wanted to shoot a nighttime New York movie.

• 15:49Bill Simmons?

  That he was interested in this high, high society life. And somebody going between these two worlds. And he was like, he said, this is another quote he had, "I wanted to create that dilemma in the central character's mind by giving him a very strong home life and a very strong wife. I wanted his attraction to Claire to be more than sexual. I wanted to be cerebral about everything. It's a choice between women." So the casting was important, but like the key scene in this movie that says it's not, he's just not thinking about fucking Mimi Rogers. When his wife is in the bathroom and she's swearing and he's like, why do you have to swear? And you're like, oh, man, Mimi's got you. You, you, you love a taste of the classy lady.

• 16:32Chris Ryan?

  For Lorraine Brock, Ellie's like, I've been swearing for 16 years.

• 16:36Bill Simmons?

  What the fuck? Why are you bringing this up now, fuckface? She's like, he's like, that's what I mean. Behringer. Big Chill, Eddie and the Cruisers. Uh, I'm gonna look at the camera for this one. Fuck you again, Tubi, cuz Eddie and the Cruisers, you assholes. We do your movies. Then you put them on the main screen. And you won't give us Eddie and the Cruisers and Kiss Death. Fuck off. Um, Platoon, Someone to Watch Over Me. And then has this shoot to kill betrayed last rites, major league is kind of the last. And then he kind of moves into some different territory, but it never a hundred percent happens. And yet I feel like he had something, we talked about it during the Big Chill podcast.

• 17:17Bill Simmons?

  He had some sort of leading man thing that I I just don't understand why he wasn't Clooney Costner. It just felt like that should have been his career for 10 years.

• 17:26Chris Ryan?

  He needed a couple of more westerns. Like he has like a really great westerns face and I feel like he needed like.

• 17:33Bill Simmons?

  Like he does Tombstone in 1985?

• 17:35Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, something like he needed some kind of like, go play Wyatt Earp, man, or, you know, and I I think that he had such.

• 17:41Bill Simmons?

  Could he have been Untouchables guy instead of Costner? I feel like there's parts we could have thrown him in.

• 17:45Chris Ryan?

  Look at Tom Berenger and you see, oh, you see the kind of guy who would be like, you know, maybe I'm gonna leave my wife. Costner never would do that. Costner is this angelic kind of like, I'm entirely dedicated to Amy Madigan or Patricia Clarkson or whoever he's with in the movie. Tom Berenger is kind of like, whoa, is that guy still at the bar? Okay.

• 18:02Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 18:04Chris Ryan?

  You going home? No?

• 18:05Bill Simmons?

  Like a tiny dark side.

• 18:06Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:07Bill Simmons?

  Hmm. I don't know. I'd.

• 18:10Chris Ryan?

  And then I think maybe like, I think he's like stuck in between, right? Cause he's like a, got movie star charisma, but he's got kind of a character actor's look. So he can't really, he can't really be Richard Gere, for instance, right?

• 18:22Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 18:22Chris Ryan?

  He's probably closer to like Sam Shepard than he was.

• 18:24Bill Simmons?

  Probably almost more like Don Johnson, like Sonny Crockett, like those kind of roles.

• 18:28Chris Ryan?

  Johnson's a movie star. Like, I mean, like his face is like, his demeanor is like really like movie star.

• 18:33Bill Simmons?

  But in Big Chill, he plays like Sam, the fucking Magnum P I guy.

• 18:37Chris Ryan?

  He's supposed to be Tom Selleck or whatever. Yeah.

• 18:38Bill Simmons?

  I don't, I, I liked him. I thought he was really good in editing the cruisers too. Um, Shoot to Kill?

• 18:43Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:44Bill Simmons?

  Really weird movie. It was sold as Poetie's, like, like a kind of comeback.

• 18:50Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 18:51Bill Simmons?

  Mainstream comeback movie. Um, it's actually a good one. That's another like classic that's probably on Tubi right now. Oh, yeah.

• 18:58Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 18:59Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I have, I, I, I think Platoon's rewatchable.

• 19:03Chris Ryan?

  I do too.

• 19:03Bill Simmons?

  It's not a fun hang.

• 19:04Chris Ryan?

  I'm asking you. Yeah. Yeah.

• 19:06Bill Simmons?

  Don't you think?

• 19:07Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, but he's extraordinary in Platoon.

• 19:08Bill Simmons?

  He's extraordinary. He's great. And by the way, Charlie Sheen's really good in it. So is Defoe.

• 19:13Chris Ryan?

  It's really cool that Ridley Scott got to like watch an earlier version of Platoon. Cause he was, he was thinking about Catherine Berenger. He had been inspired by The Big Chill because he liked like his tough guy look in that movie.

• 19:25Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 19:25Chris Ryan?

  But saw him in, in Platoon and was like, holy shit, I better jump on this while I can.

• 19:30Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he, he said that was the reason, because he saw some rough cut of Platoon and became fascinated by, uh, by Behringer. I don't know, that, the, this era is just so weird from a movie standpoint, because there's so many of them that we love, and there's so many of them that are flawed, and then there's so many stars from the eighties that I'm just like, why wasn't their career better? But maybe it was just less movies, there's less prestige TV.

• 19:53Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:54Bill Simmons?

  But Behringer's one of those. I felt like that was one level higher.

• 19:56Chris Ryan?

  That is a good point, is that I probably, for, in our head, we're like, well Behringer, why didn't you just make a Taylor Sheridan show? But there weren't Taylor Sheridan shows, you know, like,

• 20:04Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 20:04Chris Ryan?

  Behringer would be basically going up against the same ten stars for these movies, but he would not want to go down and play Sam Malone. Like, you know, he's, he's not going to go back down to television once you're in the movies back then.

• 20:18Bill Simmons?

  What was the one he made? Was it The Substitute?

• 20:20Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. He's making like B-movies by the, by the nineties.

• 20:23Bill Simmons?

  When he became a B-movie guy, I gotta say, I really, really enjoyed that Behringer era.

• 20:28Chris Ryan?

  Well, I liked Sniper a lot.

• 20:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, yeah, Sniper's a good one. And then, I remember, it started to turn on him, and maybe he led a hard life, but I remember, I saw Sliver in the theater with Joe House in Boston. We were like, we're sharing Stone season tickets at that point. And he's in that, and he just looked, it looked like he had aged twenty years from Someone Watch Over Me. And that movie came out, I think, six years after, and it was like, wow, Behringer.

• 20:55Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 20:55Bill Simmons?

  What happened to this guy? But he might have led a, might have led a semi-hard life. He had a, he had a two-episode Cheers run, too.

• 21:02Chris Ryan?

  Did he?

• 21:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 21:04Chris Ryan?

  When?

• 21:05Bill Simmons?

  Hmm, nineteen ninety-three, the last year. Yeah, so he ends up, it's basically by the time we get to the nineties, all this, The Substitute's nineteen ninety-six, so it's just, couldn't keep it going, but I always liked them.

• 21:17Chris Ryan?

  Perfectly cast for this movie, because if you put someone prettier...

• 21:22Chris Ryan?

  If you put gear in this role, if you put gear in the someone to watch over me role.

• 21:26Bill Simmons?

  It's not realistic.

• 21:26Chris Ryan?

  Well, you're just like.

• 21:27Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 21:28Chris Ryan?

  These women should be throwing themselves at this guy. Behringer, it's like, this guy hit the lottery. He has the best wife in Queens.

• 21:37Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 21:37Chris Ryan?

  But he somehow has like drawn the eye of Mimi Rogers' character, who's in this vulnerable state.

• 21:44Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 21:44Chris Ryan?

  Joey fucking Lanza's running after her.

• 21:46Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 21:48Chris Ryan?

  Or Lanza, sorry.

• 21:49Bill Simmons?

  Lorraine Bracco, first movie, um, she's phenomenal. And then Scott said this was the hardest part to cast. Did we have a couple of cast and whatevs with that too? Um, it's so funny to watch this now, knowing she's gonna be Karen in three years. Karen! That was all the money we had!

• 22:12Bill Simmons?

  But.

• 22:13Chris Ryan?

  They were gonna find it!

• 22:16Bill Simmons?

  They, uh.

• 22:16Chris Ryan?

  She gets a little, they were gonna find it in this.

• 22:19Bill Simmons?

  Well, I did some Bracco research. Bracco?

• 22:22Chris Ryan?

  Bracco.

• 22:23Bill Simmons?

  I did some Bracco research. And, uh, I didn't realize she was a model. Like, they kinda uglier up in this movie. They give her like the worst possible hairdo and, um, but then they make her look, finally she looks really good in that, in that restaurant scene when she confronts Behringer's character. But, uh, they, they definitely, no makeup, she's just looking like super queens, housewifey. But, um, I didn't realize she had this whole modeling career. And then Goodfellas takes off. And then she's in our lives through Goodfellas and The Sopranos, like forever.

• 22:54Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 22:55Bill Simmons?

  And this is like an afterthought movie for her.

• 22:58Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, but it's, it's a great, it's a great debut. It's a great rookie season for her.

• 23:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, a part that in the wrong hands might have not been a great part.

• 23:05Chris Ryan?

  Well, cause like throughout the film, you're just kinda like, Ellie has such a great charm and energy. And she's like wearing a hooded sweatshirt with a sweater over it.

• 23:15Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 23:15Chris Ryan?

  Coming in with brown grocery bags and stuff and kinda pinching his butt and making everything like kinda work. And I think it, I think it'd be very easy for that to be like, oh man, drop, drop the wife. Let's go.

• 23:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, let's go.

• 23:29Chris Ryan?

  You know?

• 23:30Bill Simmons?

  Well, let's talk Mimi.

• 23:35Bill Simmons?

  There's a lot of Mimi stuff going on during this movie because she's met Tom Cruise.

• 23:40Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm. Who was in Legend.

• 23:42Bill Simmons?

  And I think, I think they're married when the movie comes out. I'm not sure if they were married when they were making it. But I'm just gonna do this now.

• 23:52Chris Ryan?

  True.

• 23:52Bill Simmons?

  Because I think she's one of the most fascinating deep dive random actresses you're gonna find. Graduated from high school at age 14.

• 23:59Chris Ryan?

  Oh, wow. We're doing the whole biography.

• 24:01Bill Simmons?

  Screen tested for body heat, lost to Kathleen Turner.

• 24:06Bill Simmons?

  Her first husband, Jim Rogers, was a Church of Scientology counselor.

• 24:11Bill Simmons?

  She is such a good poker player that she's on the board of directors for the World Poker Tour. She dated Emilio Estevez, who then was the best man in her wedding with Tom Cruise. She quietly quit Scientology in the 90s. She's a member of Mensa. She did Playboy magazine in 1993 for some reason. She said in the piece about her ex-husband at that point, Tom Cruise, "At least for that period of time, it looked as though marriage wouldn't fit into his overall spiritual need, and he thought he had to be celibate to maintain the purity of his instrument. My instrument needed tuning." And then she said, "I retract those comments. I've been misquoted." And then you do a little deeper. And she shared an apartment with Kirstie Alley.

• 24:54Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 24:54Bill Simmons?

  And they were first working out. There's a lot going on here, CR. Like, a lot. And I sent you that Bobby Wagan interview, and Bobby asks Mimi about Tom Cruise and like, "So you were married to Tom Cruise?" And Mimi, like, immediately, and this is they were married for two more years after the interview, Mimi immediately.

• 25:12Chris Ryan?

  It's like, hey, we're not gonna talk about that.

• 25:13Bill Simmons?

  Gets weird. And she's like, "Do you think you'll ever be in a movie with Tom?" And Mimi's like, "Yeah, maybe." Just frozen smile. And it's like, man, this is a weird relationship. But that's kind of what she became known for. I feel like there was more there.

• 25:27Chris Ryan?

  More there for Mimi Rogers's career, or?

• 25:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Just, and then there's another casting what-if where she lost basic instinct to Sharon Stone.

• 25:37Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.

• 25:40Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. What, what, why didn't it happen for her?

• 25:43Chris Ryan?

  I don't know. I mean, she, she works a lot. I think that she obviously has a lot of other interests outside of just acting and just doing the movie star thing. Maybe she's more private after the Tom Cruise thing.

• 25:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 25:53Chris Ryan?

  She became a little bit more, more walled off.

• 25:55Bill Simmons?

  I thought, that would be my guess.

• 25:56Chris Ryan?

  She had a cool movie. I can't remember the last time I saw it, but I-

• 25:59Bill Simmons?

  The Rapture.

• 26:00Chris Ryan?

  I was gonna say The Rapture, Michael Tolkien, right?

• 26:02Bill Simmons?

  That movie was awesome.

• 26:03Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 26:03Bill Simmons?

  It's, I mean, it's completely fucked up. I don't know if I'd ever watch it again, but I remember-

• 26:07Chris Ryan?

  And she got like a lot of like awards buzz around that, I-

• 26:09Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 26:10Chris Ryan?

  Remember, but kinda, yeah, I feel like she's, she's had like a very decent career, but definitely could have been like, like she could have been Susan Sarandon in Bolder or something like that. Like there were definitely roles out there that she could have been in Thelma Louise, baby, like-

• 26:22Bill Simmons?

  She was a good talk show guest, too. She would kind of go through the circuit. She's in this, it got really weird for her by the mid 90s. She's in this masseuse movie with Coughlin from Cocktail Brian Brown. And he's just massaging her. She's naked like half the movie. It's like, what's going on?

• 26:38Chris Ryan?

  It's like Cocktail, but it's for masseuses?

• 26:40Bill Simmons?

  No.

• 26:40Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 26:40Bill Simmons?

  I'm just saying Coughlin's in it.

• 26:42Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 26:43Bill Simmons?

  And it's like a weird massage movie. And uh-

• 26:45Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 26:46Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 26:48Chris Ryan?

  Wait, what's it called?

• 26:49Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. Massage movie. Craig, Craig will find it.

• 26:55Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, Craig, look up massage movie.

• 26:57Bill Simmons?

  Look up Mimi Rogers.

• 27:00Chris Ryan?

  I was looking at massage movie last night, actually.

• 27:04Bill Simmons?

  Hold on, I'm gonna, I'm gonna find this weird massage movie. So I'm gonna say it was mid 90s.

• 27:09Chris Ryan?

  It's a TV movie. I believe it's called Full Body Massage?

• 27:13Bill Simmons?

  Wasn't a TV movie, cause she's naked in it.

• 27:15Chris Ryan?

  It says TV movie, Mimi Rogers, Brian Brown?

• 27:17Bill Simmons?

  Maybe it was for like Showtime?

• 27:19Chris Ryan?

  Full Body Massage?

• 27:20Bill Simmons?

  Full Body Massage, literally the name of the movie. A successful but world-weary art dealer finds out that her usual masseur has sent a substitute for a weekly massage at her home. They find out that they're both mutually attracted and annoy one another a great deal. Director Nicholas Rogue.

• 27:39Chris Ryan?

  Is this a Skinamax movie?

• 27:40Bill Simmons?

  Nicholas Rogue, director, your guy.

• 27:42Chris Ryan?

  But why is it called Full Body Massage?

• 27:44Bill Simmons?

  I'm just, listen, I'm just a messenger.

• 27:46Chris Ryan?

  Okay. This stuff's just out there.

• 27:50Bill Simmons?

  Just gotta, gotta find it. But uh, for what she's trying to do in this movie, I think she's fantastic.

• 28:01Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, she's great. She has to be, like you said, she has to be the princess that needs saving.

• 28:05Bill Simmons?

  Like, who's this person now? Cause you have to be, there's a difference between, oh, she's a rich lady and the way they do this character is like-

• 28:12Chris Ryan?

  Jessica Chastain?

• 28:15Bill Simmons?

  That's a good one.

• 28:17Bill Simmons?

  It's beyond rich. She is in a world that she only deals with a few people.

• 28:21Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 28:22Bill Simmons?

  She has conversations with the most dressed up. Like, that party scene is so key in the beginning. She, everyone's dressed up. The conversations they have, it's almost like another language.

• 28:30Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 28:31Bill Simmons?

  And she just moves in these circles. It's like the limo driver's right there. I go from here to here. I need to get you a tie. She walks into the store. Everybody knows who she is. Like, it's just, and she pulls it off, like, there's an elegance to it.

• 28:46Chris Ryan?

  And then, like, when she's, she's effectively vulnerable. So, like, when, cause you can see why she would want the sort of protection and the masculinity of the Keegan character in her life, because, like, for one thing, she's got this, like, nevish boyfriend, but for the other, like, she's finally been, like, shown the outside world, like, outside of her penthouse, outside of, like, the limo that can attack her, that can get to her. So, like, she does a really good job grounding it.

• 29:12Bill Simmons?

  Someone to watch over me. I could just tell you're a Team Braco.

• 29:16Chris Ryan?

  Yes, I am.

• 29:16Bill Simmons?

  Okay. Someone to watch over me. George Gershwin, your guy.

• 29:20Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 29:21Bill Simmons?

  Double G.

• 29:22Chris Ryan?

  One of the best to ever tickle the ivories.

• 29:25Bill Simmons?

  They play this song three times.

• 29:29Bill Simmons?

  Sting. They get him for the start.

• 29:31Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 29:32Bill Simmons?

  That's the opening credits. Roberta Flack heard over the end credits, not available on Spotify or any platform for some reason.

• 29:40Chris Ryan?

  Do you like the Sting version or the Roberta Flack version better?

• 29:42Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna answer that in a later category.

• 29:44Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 29:45Bill Simmons?

  And then they run the original one midway through the movie. The Sting and Roberta Flack movie, uh, versions were new takes. They never had a soundtrack album for it, cause the same song a bunch of times.

• 29:54Chris Ryan?

  The opening reminds me a lot. It's like the New York version of the Lethal Weapon opening.

• 29:58Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah.

• 29:58Chris Ryan?

  Just like Night City.

• 30:00Bill Simmons?

  I would say it's a most rewatchable scene, how they do it, but, uh, it's rare to have a song three times in the same movie titled after the movie. That also is the theme of the movie.

• 30:12Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 30:12Bill Simmons?

  It's like the fucking triple crown.

• 30:13Chris Ryan?

  And then they say versions of the title of the movie multiple times.

• 30:17Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna watch over you tonight.

• 30:19Chris Ryan?

  Thank you for watching over me, yeah.

• 30:20Bill Simmons?

  Congratulations. One of the great songs. Written by Howard Franklin. So Ridley follows Blade Runner with Legend, Someone to Watch Over Me, Black Rain, which has been circled for a while, and then Thelma and Louise, which I'm not positive we've ever done.

• 30:37Chris Ryan?

  Thelma?

• 30:39Bill Simmons?

  I don't think we've done it.

• 30:40Chris Ryan?

  We've never done it. Oh, my god. Wow.

• 30:45Bill Simmons?

  12.8 million. Made 10.3 billion.

• 30:50Bill Simmons?

  A rewatchable loser, Craig. A box office.

• 30:53Chris Ryan?

  It's really hard to lose money on 12.3 billion.

• 30:58Bill Simmons?

  This is how you know it's a one for us. The movie lost money and Roger Ebert gave it two stars.

• 31:02Chris Ryan?

  They're gonna put up the image where it's like, come in Monday, and it's just gonna be Behringer, and people are gonna be like, seriously, what the fucking movie is this?

• 31:08Bill Simmons?

  These fucking guys.

• 31:09Chris Ryan?

  I can't even reverse Google image search this.

• 31:12Bill Simmons?

  I'm trying to think what the meanest things will be, but it'll probably be a lot of, I thought we were getting Hunt for Red October, and we get this fucking movie.

• 31:19Chris Ryan?

  That's my burner today.

• 31:24Chris Ryan?

  My army of guys.

• 31:25Bill Simmons?

  Roger Ebert, two-star review. I thought it was one of the better reviews I've read from him on any movie we've done. He really lays out

• 31:32Chris Ryan?

  Why he doesn't like it.

• 31:33Bill Simmons?

  This whole thing about high-concept movies. Once you master the concept, there's nothing left for the movie. Movies like this are on automatic pilot. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with the script in which the hero sleeps with the wrong woman. I'm not talking here in moral terms, but in story terms, the makers of this film got so carried away with their high concept that they missed the point of the whole story. That rich broad really does have a great kitchen, though.

• 31:56Chris Ryan?

  Rog.

• 31:57Bill Simmons?

  Rog got a little feisty at the end.

• 31:58Chris Ryan?

  Pauline Kael said Ridley Scott put so much morbid, finicky care into this silly little story that he's worried the fun out of it.

• 32:09Bill Simmons?

  Late 80s Pauline. It's kind of needed big heaping helping a settle down juice. Just in general. Just pour it in the morning like green juice. Settle down, Pauline.

• 32:20Chris Ryan?

  Take it with your Metamucil.

• 32:22Bill Simmons?

  All right, we're gonna take a break and come back and do most rewatchables.

• 32:26Speaker 06

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• 32:55Bill Simmons?

  It's me, the.

• 32:56Speaker 06

  Priceline Negotiator.

• 32:58Bill Simmons?

  We don't need the jingle twice.

• 33:00Speaker 06

  What about a third time?

• 33:01Bill Simmons?

  Stop it. This is about vacation inflation and how Priceline negotiates amazing deals on hotels, flights, and rental cars. Seems like they just started. Yeah, but I didn't mention that you can save up to 60% off hotels in the Priceline app. Time to read the timeline. Fine. No one deals more deals than. Priceline. Please stop. Priceline. Touche. Priceline. Priceline. All right, most rewatchable scene. Opening credits, mention that. Sting still had his voice in 87.

• 33:30Chris Ryan?

  He did.

• 33:30Bill Simmons?

  Could still hit the notes.

• 33:31Chris Ryan?

  Did he lose it, you think?

• 33:33Bill Simmons?

  Uh, yeah.

• 33:34Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 33:35Bill Simmons?

  By probably mid 90s. Can't hit those notes anymore.

• 33:37Chris Ryan?

  Isn't he doing like Fields of Gold in the 90s?

• 33:39Bill Simmons?

  Nah, that's, that was about it. The Fields of Golds album, I think, was it. Elton lost it. People, those people who can live in the high, high, high areas. You're not doing that when you're like 45.

• 33:50Chris Ryan?

  I was never much of a Sting guy, to be completely honest. I like the Police.

• 33:53Bill Simmons?

  Really? Not a tantric sex guy?

• 33:59Bill Simmons?

  Police guy?

• 34:00Chris Ryan?

  Uh, Police are good, yeah.

• 34:02Bill Simmons?

  I love the Police.

• 34:03Chris Ryan?

  I bet you do. You've mentioned that before and it also seems like your kind of band. Not in a.

• 34:07Bill Simmons?

  Love them.

• 34:08Chris Ryan?

  Pejorative way.

• 34:09Bill Simmons?

  Love them. Well, I like, I like that they were like six years done.

• 34:12Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. And hated each other.

• 34:14Bill Simmons?

  Hated each other's guts. There was great background, deep dive stuff, once the internet ran in a shape, but uh, as you've heard my theory that. Three-person bands, I just feel like should be graded on a different curve.

• 34:26Chris Ryan?

  Because it's just so impressive that they're making all that music together.

• 34:29Bill Simmons?

  If you're standing up with all the other bands and you only have three people, it'd be like if I won the NBA title with four guys on the court.

• 34:35Chris Ryan?

  Tom Thibodeau is like, "I'll try it. I'll try it. Ice."

• 34:41Bill Simmons?

  Most rewatchable scene.

• 34:44Bill Simmons?

  The opening cop party.

• 34:46Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 34:47Bill Simmons?

  I have this in Woods Age the Best as well. I don't know what it is, because Copland has this too, some of these other ones, these cop movies set in like Jersey or New York or wherever. I just like hanging out with cops.

• 35:00Chris Ryan?

  All-day party, too.

• 35:01Bill Simmons?

  Maybe not when Karen Reed's involved, but for the most part, it seems like a fun hang.

• 35:08Bill Simmons?

  Maybe not at three in the morning at Attleboro.

• 35:12Bill Simmons?

  But for the most part, fun hangs.

• 35:14Chris Ryan?

  Did you notice, though, that it starts in the afternoon and that it's like two in the morning and they're still at the house?

• 35:19Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah.

• 35:19Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 35:20Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. And everybody knows everybody and everybody's kind of on the verge of being inappropriate and nobody's judging anybody and people are smoking.

• 35:29Chris Ryan?

  Decent storytelling, though, too. Like, it's like this guy's getting promoted, that's the most important thing, like, you know, and like, he's got like this, all his friends are over, but the cake is for his promotion to getting into this new district and precinct in Manhattan.

• 35:42Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 35:43Chris Ryan?

  And it's like, yeah, because it's really hard to get up the ladder in this thing.

• 35:46Bill Simmons?

  Do you think we need more, like, New York-area cop ball-busting at parties just for the ringer?

• 35:52Chris Ryan?

  For us?

• 35:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, where it's like, "Craig, look at this dude with a big promotion. Hey! Jack Sanders running the big pick now. Look at this guy."

• 36:03Chris Ryan?

  That would be good.

• 36:04Bill Simmons?

  But that's like basically all the dialogue.

• 36:06Chris Ryan?

  Swedish HR law.

• 36:08Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I gotta, I'll check out the sweets. But I like those cop scenes. Behringer's first day, when they're walking around the incredible Claire apartment. Next rewatchable scene. And he gets lost, but ends up in the closet.

• 36:23Speaker 05

  Lieutenant.

• 36:28Speaker 05

  Detective.

• 36:30Speaker 05

  I, um.

• 36:33Speaker 05

  I hope you understand how upsetting this is. Yes, ma'am, I do.

• 36:37Bill Simmons?

  And the way she handles it.

• 36:39Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 36:40Bill Simmons?

  You're just like, whoa, this is a lady that has talked down to a lot of people.

• 36:45Chris Ryan?

  But also like levels of them.

• 36:47Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 36:47Chris Ryan?

  She's just like, this is really upsetting for me.

• 36:49Bill Simmons?

  I hope, I hope you understand how upsetting this is for me. Really good stuff. All right, now we're cooking with gas because Claire has to go out. Mike has to go with her. They're going to the Guggenheim. We go tie shopping, everyone knows her.

• 37:05Speaker 05

  Pardon? Well, if you're going to be my escort, you need a new tie.

• 37:11Speaker 05

  Perfect. All right, I'll take it. I, I get my. No, no, my account. Yes, Ms. Scruggs. If we had more time, I'd work on the suit, too.

• 37:22Bill Simmons?

  Buys him the new tie. If I had more time, I'd work on the suit, too. Now we're getting a little flirty.

• 37:26Chris Ryan?

  The tie also really brings his outfit together. She's right.

• 37:29Bill Simmons?

  It's great.

• 37:30Chris Ryan?

  The paisley tie is whatever, but like he puts, he puts on this new tie and I'm like, look at this guy.

• 37:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, oh, he's 16 years, maybe learn how to buy your guy a tie.

• 37:37Chris Ryan?

  It's fun.

• 37:38Bill Simmons?

  I'm making the case for, for Mike as it's going. It's like, ah, Claire's got some points here. There's paparazzi.

• 37:45Chris Ryan?

  For some reason, I think because we just watched it in Boston, I was thinking of Heat when the tie thing is happening. Because it's like when Jeremy Piven's like, my, my daughter gave me.

• 37:55Chris Ryan?

  He's like, I don't give a shit.

• 37:56Bill Simmons?

  Give me that. We have to have some ball busting with the I'm on duty. What kind of duty? Jiggle low.

• 38:02Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 38:05Bill Simmons?

  I loved Claire's friends fishing for info at the party. I could have watched the scene for 20 more minutes.

• 38:10Chris Ryan?

  What does, what does the old one say? Like, don't, you have, he has really nice eyes.

• 38:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, yeah. Who, who have you been hiding from us? It's the most pretentious party, I think. I've personally never been to a party like that, ever. Where, where it's like, everyone at the party is 100% rich and pretentious. And there's like no other people at the party. And just people, this is it. This is the highlight of their month, going to this thing and hanging out with the, the rich people.

• 38:36Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, it's just another example of him being like kind of overwhelmed by architecture. First in Claire's apartment, but he walks into the Guggenheim and he's just like, it's also awesome, uh, chase, uh, location because of the spiral hallway.

• 38:48Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 38:48Chris Ryan?

  In the Guggenheim, so when he goes after, uh, Venza.

• 38:52Bill Simmons?

  The lady comes up to him and says, does shooting a gun make you hard?

• 38:55Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah, I love her.

• 38:57Bill Simmons?

  She's great. She's coming up later. Then Claire's in danger. Somehow Mike fucks this up. And then he chases him out and I like when Behringer does a Benzo! He's got that cop, that cop voice.

• 39:10Bill Simmons?

  But this whole scene is lights out. Next one I have is Ellie finds out Mike went to a party with Claire. And that she bought her a tie.

• 39:20Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 39:21Bill Simmons?

  Really good bravo.

• 39:23Bill Simmons?

  Claire asks Mike on his last day to go for a drink.

• 39:27Chris Ryan?

  So they go to like Bemelmans or someplace like they go to a nice bar?

• 39:32Bill Simmons?

  It's been nice having you watch over me. I bet it has.

• 39:37Bill Simmons?

  Good. That scene probably could have gone longer for me. I would have, could have gone like two, three more. Like a little background of Claire, like, so I went to Harvard.

• 39:46Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 39:46Bill Simmons?

  I graduated as an art major.

• 39:48Chris Ryan?

  The way that they kind of do it. It isn't that they're connecting on a personality, experiential soul level. It's more just like, we're two people who are currently trying to escape our immediate circumstances. And it's very present tense. Like, it's not gonna work. You're not gonna move in with me. We're not going to Europe together. But like right now, right here, it works. And so when you think about it like that, it's kind of nice that they're not telling each other their life stories.

• 40:16Bill Simmons?

  Would you have had her smoke or not smoke?

• 40:18Chris Ryan?

  I could see her doing a Virginia Slim or something elegant.

• 40:22Bill Simmons?

  So many good categories. Should this character have had one cigarette?

• 40:26Chris Ryan?

  I have some cigarette awards coming up.

• 40:28Bill Simmons?

  Is there, could there have been elegant smoking scene for her?

• 40:32Chris Ryan?

  I think that there would have been a cigarette out of just pure tension. Just like, oh, I stopped smoking.

• 40:36Bill Simmons?

  Maybe in the

• 40:37Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 40:38Bill Simmons?

  On the other hand, she's too classy to smoke. I like when they're in the, when they, he gives her the coat. Feels like they're gonna fuck. We're in the elevator and they're just kind of like.

• 40:48Chris Ryan?

  What are we doing?

• 40:49Bill Simmons?

  She looks at each, looks at him and then walks away. Just a nitpick now, just so I remember it. They get home at three in the morning?

• 40:57Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:59Bill Simmons?

  So she wants to get a drink. What time is it? I know, but is it like 11 at night?

• 41:03Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 41:05Bill Simmons?

  So they're out having a drink till 3 in the morning.

• 41:08Chris Ryan?

  Let's call it a good night.

• 41:08Bill Simmons?

  Wouldn't they be a little more drunk?

• 41:09Chris Ryan?

  He starts working in the middle of the night, doesn't he? Doesn't he go on at like 8 p.m.?

• 41:13Bill Simmons?

  They'd be a little more sauced. She'd be a little more tipsy.

• 41:15Chris Ryan?

  It's the 80s. They just put it away.

• 41:17Bill Simmons?

  Tall lady, maybe she shouldn't carry liquor. I like the cops busting the glass.

• 41:21Chris Ryan?

  Maybe she's like Larry Bird. She can put a case away for a game.

• 41:26Bill Simmons?

  Claire and Mike finally... Benza gets out. Claire and Mike have some scared sex for Claire. She's, she needs somebody.

• 41:33Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm. To watch over her.

• 41:36Bill Simmons?

  I, uh, I'm gonna bring this up now. The Mallory Rubin Award, did this movie need a better sex scene?

• 41:41Chris Ryan?

  It kinda did.

• 41:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. I think Ridley was afraid to do it because if, if there was a pounding away scene, maybe it's a little tougher to... You wanna keep a little mystery?

• 41:51Chris Ryan?

  I think that there's definitely...

• 41:55Chris Ryan?

  There's a way to have shown like the way Mike has sex with both of these different women as like illustrated of, of like his, his sort of choice he has to make.

• 42:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 42:05Chris Ryan?

  It's a little bit chaste, the way it happens. It's like almost close to Top Gun Maverick laughing, you know?

• 42:11Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 42:13Chris Ryan?

  Um, but I, I think Mallory probably would have turned, turned the temperature up a little bit.

• 42:20Bill Simmons?

  Next scene, Ellie finds out at, at lunch about Mike's cheating.

• 42:24Chris Ryan?

  Love this scene.

• 42:25Bill Simmons?

  Incredible Bracco.

• 42:28Bill Simmons?

  Bracco. Why do I keep saying Bracco?

• 42:29Chris Ryan?

  I think you're just reading it. It's okay.

• 42:32Bill Simmons?

  Twin Towers in the background?

• 42:33Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 42:35Bill Simmons?

  I behave like the kind of lady you apparently prefer.

• 42:39Chris Ryan?

  I behave like a lady!

• 42:40Bill Simmons?

  You come back, you come back for me. Not for Tommy.

• 42:46Speaker 04

  Not for your mother, not for your goddamn job. You come back for me, okay?

• 42:56Speaker 04

  I'm sorry, Elle. I love you. I do.

• 43:03Speaker 04

  And you are a lady, and I...

• 43:04Bill Simmons?

  I respect you very much. Don't talk to me.

• 43:11Bill Simmons?

  You come back, you come back for me.

• 43:14Chris Ryan?

  It's a good line.

• 43:15Bill Simmons?

  Not for your goddamn job, you come back for me, okay?

• 43:18Chris Ryan?

  Then she punches him. Terrible sound effect for the punch.

• 43:21Bill Simmons?

  Terrible.

• 43:21Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 43:22Bill Simmons?

  It's beyond a what stage the worst.

• 43:23Chris Ryan?

  I know, I just wanted to bring it up as soon as you said it.

• 43:25Bill Simmons?

  Ridley's like, can you put like four highlights in Mimi's hair because I want to make the light shine off it? And I got, can you wet the street again?

• 43:33Chris Ryan?

  But when Lorraine Bracco punches down Behringer, it sounds like Jackson Dark clapping.

• 43:39Bill Simmons?

  It's the second after the punch.

• 43:43Bill Simmons?

  Let me watch over you tonight is another one. Tom's been kicked out of that bear, uh, Mike's been kicked out of the house. He goes, shows up anyway, even though TJ is there and then we get the whole, I love the, the switching the runner.

• 43:56Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 43:57Bill Simmons?

  That's, that's some Bill and C R shit right there. Like scoping out the jogger, how he's running at seven o'clock, buying the exact same outfit, putting the hood over it.

• 44:09Bill Simmons?

  And then TJ gets shot, we get a little, little action scene. And then, um.

• 44:13Chris Ryan?

  We get the Hall and Mirrors action too, within the, within the apartment.

• 44:17Bill Simmons?

  You knew that was gonna come into play when we saw it in the beginning.

• 44:19Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 44:20Bill Simmons?

  It's like, these bears are coming back. And then I got, Mike shows up at the Queen's party that she's throwing. Someone will watch over me playing again and she does like the, oh, that's kind of my song with my weird cop that stayed with us. It wouldn't work out clear. How long you going away for to forget about you? I feel like that line, that exchange has been in like 40 movies. Gets me every time.

• 44:43Bill Simmons?

  Any others for rewatchable?

• 44:44Chris Ryan?

  I feel like it's, uh, we've got like 40 some minutes and you're just haven't said Joey Lanza yet.

• 44:52Bill Simmons?

  He's coming up.

• 44:52Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 44:53Bill Simmons?

  Benza.

• 44:54Chris Ryan?

  I have Venza, uh, Joey Venza, I don't know why I wrote down Lanza. Joey Venza, uh, with Keegan's family at the end is a pretty amazing, it's ridiculous, but it's just an incredible.

• 45:05Bill Simmons?

  Ridiculously compelling.

• 45:06Chris Ryan?

  Diagram.

• 45:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 45:07Chris Ryan?

  Uh, and I also have the Studio 54 style club, which they shot in the.

• 45:13Bill Simmons?

  At the beginning.

• 45:13Chris Ryan?

  At the beginning.

• 45:14Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 45:14Chris Ryan?

  Okay. But my number one is.

• 45:19Chris Ryan?

  Guy, I think it's when, when Ellie finds out about Claire, honestly. It's such a great scene.

• 45:24Bill Simmons?

  I have, uh, when they go to the Guggenheim. What's the most 1987 thing about this movie? I had Sting doing your theme song? Or a club blaring Steve Winwood?

• 45:40Bill Simmons?

  I love Steve Winwood. I would never listen to Steve Winwood again for any reason.

• 45:44Chris Ryan?

  It is also like a perfect like music to be listening to in 1987.

• 45:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it was either that, him and Peter Gabriel in the finals for what made sense there. What's age the best? I have a bunch of small stuff. What do you have?

• 45:58Chris Ryan?

  I have a bunch of small stuff too. I really just for the top note is people reacting to adultery in an adult way. So like, you know, it's a little bit dated probably.

• 46:10Bill Simmons?

  Personal experience here?

• 46:11Chris Ryan?

  No, but just like, I think that the crisis and like, Lorraine Brock is not just like, you're out. You know, it's not like our marriage is over. She's kind of like working with it and working through it. I kind of liked it, like just watching them, you know, have like an adult reaction to it.

• 46:26Bill Simmons?

  Now it would be like, here's my essay for the LA Times about when my husband cheated on me. If his name was Mike.

• 46:32Chris Ryan?

  Here's when I entered a polycule. Um, I, I really like the kid, Tommy.

• 46:38Bill Simmons?

  Tommy was an excellent little kid. Yeah, he could have been super annoying and he wasn't.

• 46:42Chris Ryan?

  Perfect 1987 kid with a little cyclist hat and it's just like, lay back, Mac, I got my skateboard. It's like Bart Simpson.

• 46:49Bill Simmons?

  He easily could have gone right into being Josh Baskin's best friend in Big and been in nine other 80s movies.

• 46:55Chris Ryan?

  Uh, and number one, this is an age of the worst that's actually age the best. And it's one of the little details of this movie that makes it worth completely rewatching. One of the other cops is this guy named Kuntz.

• 47:08Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 47:08Chris Ryan?

  And when he, when Keegan finds out that his family has been taken hostage by a Venza. It's revealed that Kuntz just has a little stud earring.

• 47:21Chris Ryan?

  And I really, really thought for a second about coming into it with a study.

• 47:26Bill Simmons?

  Just sneaking it in.

• 47:28Chris Ryan?

  But just like, I want, I feel like I should just start like, yeah, check it out. I'm not having a midlife crisis at all.

• 47:37Bill Simmons?

  That's a good one. Uh, I have a couple of small ones. These are just personal preferences. Cop daughters in a movie who then marry a cop.

• 47:46Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, Ellie, yeah.

• 47:48Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I like that one. They kind of know the drill.

• 47:50Chris Ryan?

  My dad was a cop. I married a cop.

• 47:52Bill Simmons?

  I've seen some adultery in my day. Cops calling other cops' wives the old lady?

• 47:57Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 47:57Bill Simmons?

  When do we stop doing this?

• 48:00Chris Ryan?

  I don't know. I don't think anybody would appreciate it anymore.

• 48:03Bill Simmons?

  Like.

• 48:03Chris Ryan?

  Hey Craig, how's your old lady?

• 48:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Craig, you want to film that video later or you got to see the old lady?

• 48:09Speaker 07

  Yeah, say that to Liz the next time she's in the office. She'll love that.

• 48:12Bill Simmons?

  The old lady, I think, when do you think it went away? Like early 2000s?

• 48:15Chris Ryan?

  Uh, I think it went away like in the, in the 80s. Like I think this is the last gasp.

• 48:20Bill Simmons?

  This was the last old lady?

• 48:21Chris Ryan?

  I don't remember anyone ever referring to even, even my mother as, how's your old lady doing?

• 48:28Bill Simmons?

  It's offensive. It's the rare thing that's offensive to all parties. It's offensive to the person you're saying it to. It's offensive to the lady. Everyone loses. Uh. I mentioned this earlier, but all the, all the Lorraine Bracco scenes, knowing Goodfellas is coming is just makes me laugh. Two-way mirrors?

• 48:47Chris Ryan?

  Yep. For the, for the.

• 48:49Bill Simmons?

  For any cop scene for the perp ID, I just have always enjoyed them and um, might put one in my house. I'm kidding.

• 49:01Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if you picked this up, but it's a great Woods Age the Best. Mike's wearing this old school 80s Jets sweatshirt.

• 49:09Chris Ryan?

  Oh, is he?

• 49:10Bill Simmons?

  And it's a sweatshirt that had a collar and they only made these for a couple of years. I used to have the Pats one, but I lost it.

• 49:16Chris Ryan?

  Perfect that he's a Jets fan.

• 49:17Bill Simmons?

  And it's, it's actually.

• 49:18Chris Ryan?

  New York sack exchange today.

• 49:21Chris Ryan?

  Cast to know.

• 49:22Bill Simmons?

  They keep, refs are cracking down on it. They should have had like them go to a Jets game. That could have fit in this. But um, but it's a really nice sweatshirt. I want to point that out. Uh, a New York guy pronouncing the word idea as idea.

• 49:37Bill Simmons?

  That's a pretty good idea, Claire. Behringer's apartment you mentioned, and then cops hanging out with their families.

• 49:43Chris Ryan?

  I got one more for you. And I know you, I know you picked up on this.

• 49:46Bill Simmons?

  Is it a good idea?

• 49:46Chris Ryan?

  Uh, no, it's Scotty Behringer's bachelor friend who he moves in with, his apartment. Where he's got the bunk beds. And he's like, check out the bathroom, real nice.

• 49:55Bill Simmons?

  Yes.

• 49:56Chris Ryan?

  But then at the end, he's just like, we're gonna have to figure out the bedroom because, what does he say? Like Renee is a moaner?

• 50:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, yeah, Renee is a screamer. That guy had a heat check for like two minutes.

• 50:10Bill Simmons?

  Great Shaq Gordon Award, what'd you have?

• 50:12Chris Ryan?

  Uh, I love this shot of Behringer on the New York 80's subway, standing up.

• 50:18Bill Simmons?

  I had the same thing. I liked the shot of him on the subway.

• 50:20Chris Ryan?

  And the lights are flickering, yeah. Yeah.

• 50:23Bill Simmons?

  Ridley.

• 50:24Chris Ryan?

  Just beautiful.

• 50:25Bill Simmons?

  Probably spent two days storyboarding that and doing it, and then gets the punch completely wrong. Come on Ridley. Dennis Thieves Benihana Award, uh, scene stealing location, the New York City apartment. The Guggenheim's pretty cool though.

• 50:38Chris Ryan?

  Guggenheim's really high up there.

• 50:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I enjoyed that. Kid Cudi Pursuit of Happyness Award, would you go Steve Winwood or Roberta Flack at the end?

• 50:45Chris Ryan?

  I'd go Roberta.

• 50:46Bill Simmons?

  Okay. Oh, a category we rarely give to, get to give out. The Amanda Dobbins Award for Best Piece of Real Estate.

• 50:55Bill Simmons?

  Claire's apartment, which I was always like, I, when I was doing the research for the movie, I was like, I can't wait to find out where they filmed this, in this apartment. And sadly found out that it was at Burbank Studios.

• 51:06Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 51:07Bill Simmons?

  That they made the apartment from scratch and, uh...

• 51:10Chris Ryan?

  It's Upper East Side is supposed to be?

• 51:12Bill Simmons?

  Supposed to be.

• 51:13Chris Ryan?

  Okay. I mean, I guess then Guggenheim gets Best Real Estate, right?

• 51:17Bill Simmons?

  I guess. They did a great job creating a fake New York City apartment though.

• 51:21Chris Ryan?

  I like, I love the nightclub, which is shot in the Queen Mary, but it is supposed to be a New York nightclub.

• 51:27Bill Simmons?

  The Chess Rockwell and Brock Laners Award for Best Character Name? Winhockings is the guy who gets killed in the beginning?

• 51:34Chris Ryan?

  You wanna talk about the Winhockings killing?

• 51:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, let's go.

• 51:37Chris Ryan?

  Venza kinda goes zero to 60 there on him.

• 51:39Bill Simmons?

  Is it Benza or Venza?

• 51:41Chris Ryan?

  Venza.

• 51:43Chris Ryan?

  Joey Venza.

• 51:44Bill Simmons?

  Joey. I thought it was Benza.

• 51:47Chris Ryan?

  Well, I thought it was.

• 51:47Bill Simmons?

  I think you're right.

• 51:48Chris Ryan?

  So, yeah.

• 51:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he goes from zero to 60 pretty fast. You probably noticed that the host of the party has been stabbed to death if you're there wondering where he's been for two hours.

• 51:58Chris Ryan?

  Well, Venza doesn't seem to think that he, he's got a real like invincibility armor to him where he's just like,

• 52:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 52:05Chris Ryan?

  that nobody is gonna ever catch me for cold-blooded first degree murder in a public place and also intimidating witnesses and taking cops, families hostages.

• 52:15Bill Simmons?

  And also I showed up at this party and they're like, you're not allowed in, Mr. Venza. And he's like, okay, and goes in anyway.

• 52:23Bill Simmons?

  Winn Hockings not, kind of maybe needed one more scene with Winn to understand what his business interests were.

• 52:29Chris Ryan?

  So, and then also.

• 52:31Bill Simmons?

  Was he in the mafia?

• 52:32Chris Ryan?

  Was he Claire's ex?

• 52:32Bill Simmons?

  Mafia Jason. Yeah, did Claire. It seemed like she's got that doofus guy she was dating Neil, but it seems like she and Winn had something.

• 52:40Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 52:41Bill Simmons?

  Unexplored.

• 52:44Bill Simmons?

  Well, we have some smoking subcategories here.

• 52:48Bill Simmons?

  The Sean Penn, I brought my own pack award for excellence in on-screen smoking.

• 52:52Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, this goes to Joey Venza's smoking while holding a 350 second Magnum to a child's head.

• 52:59Chris Ryan?

  And then angrily throwing the cigarette.

• 53:02Bill Simmons?

  So, the first time we did The Fugitive with Greenwald.

• 53:04Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 53:06Bill Simmons?

  We did this whole thing about Art Torris, whatever his name is, who played the one armed man in The Fugitive and.

• 53:11Chris Ryan?

  Andreas Katsoulis.

• 53:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, and how he was such a chains, he was like this, there's in the research, a beloved guy on sets, but was an absolute chain smoker and the scene would end and he would light it up and then he died of lung cancer.

• 53:24Chris Ryan?

  Uh huh.

• 53:24Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. But yeah, he's clearly like, yo, is it cool if I smoke in this scene? And they're like, go ahead, Art Torris.

• 53:30Chris Ryan?

  Just actually think for a second, what, how many hands it takes to take out a cigarette from a pack and light it, but also restrain a child and hold a gun to his head. So, how many hands? Like, we're gonna, I mean, like, it's just amazing.

• 53:45Bill Simmons?

  He probably asked the kid to hold the gun on himself while he did it. And then we have the Edie Falco and Coppola award for the character that got three times hotter by smoking. Yeah, I thought of you.

• 53:55Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, when she, when he takes the cigarette.

• 53:57Bill Simmons?

  Kind of dangling from the side. What do you have? You have a flex category. Did we already do it?

• 54:03Chris Ryan?

  Um, I had, uh, the Vincent Chase award, uh, for are we sure this character is actually good at this job for the New York Police Department?

• 54:12Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 54:12Chris Ryan?

  It's just like, we know who killed Win Hawkins.

• 54:15Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 54:15Chris Ryan?

  We know exactly what he looks like and what he's doing, but we just kinda gotta let him kind of work it out.

• 54:20Bill Simmons?

  Nobody read him his rights when we, we found Venza. We can't protect Claire. She almost gets killed in the bathroom.

• 54:28Chris Ryan?

  But isn't that a crime in and of itself if Claire's like, Joey Venza just beat the shit out of me in a bathroom?

• 54:33Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 54:33Chris Ryan?

  Wouldn't that also be some?

• 54:34Bill Simmons?

  Smear lipstick?

• 54:34Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 54:35Bill Simmons?

  Seems like it would be something. That leads to the butcher's girlfriend award for weak link of the film, which is the last 10 minutes, which includes decisions like,

• 54:44Bill Simmons?

  Joey gets a hold of Mike at a Queens party.

• 54:47Chris Ryan?

  Uh huh.

• 54:47Bill Simmons?

  Just kinda knows he's there.

• 54:52Bill Simmons?

  Figured you'd be there at Claire's party. You did?

• 54:54Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 54:54Bill Simmons?

  Like, they, like, what?

• 54:55Chris Ryan?

  Would you have like the entire world bugged?

• 54:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 54:57Chris Ryan?

  Like, how are you doing this?

• 54:58Bill Simmons?

  What's his strategy? So he's gonna-

• 55:00Chris Ryan?

  I don't know. He's gonna have Claire come, kill Claire, and then he's gonna walk out? I don't know. I really don't know.

• 55:08Bill Simmons?

  What's, what's Mike's strategy? I'm gonna bring Claire, maybe she'll just get shot, but I'll get my family back? It's one way to get out of an affair.

• 55:15Chris Ryan?

  Well, there's, there's Chekhov's gun from earlier in the movie where they're like, where's the, where's the gun? And he's like, oh, it's in the closet. Yeah.

• 55:22Bill Simmons?

  He's just gonna trade the female characters and throw in his son as a first round draft pick? This is like an NFL draft trade?

• 55:30Chris Ryan?

  He's the new Jags GM.

• 55:31Bill Simmons?

  It's like the Falcons moving up for Pierce?

• 55:35Bill Simmons?

  I do like that the wife shoots, uh, Joey.

• 55:38Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 55:39Bill Simmons?

  And I do think it's a pretty funny, tough beat for Claire.

• 55:44Bill Simmons?

  But this is the reason that this movie is not considered a classic.

• 55:47Chris Ryan?

  It's the last 10 minutes.

• 55:47Bill Simmons?

  Because the last 10 minutes just, I, I, but this is an eighties thing. Sometimes they just didn't know how to end movies and they just made the movie anyway. Like, what are we gonna do about the ending? I don't know. It's just-

• 56:00Chris Ryan?

  It's a Venza kidnap everybody. I will say it's, I had it in maybe What's Aged The Worst, but we just did have a decade where like the bad guys in movies were psychos. And now we try to ascribe all this like meaning and like motivation to like why bad guys in shows and movies do things? Like, why is he doing this? Back then, it was just like the guys in Commando were just psychos.

• 56:21Bill Simmons?

  Right, right. This guy's just a bloodthirsty maniac. What's Aged The Worst?

• 56:28Bill Simmons?

  Claire having a painting of herself.

• 56:29Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 56:30Bill Simmons?

  It's a rich person move. I've never understood it. It's like, what's that? Oh, it's, I had this artist.

• 56:36Chris Ryan?

  Come do a portrait of me. Yeah.

• 56:37Bill Simmons?

  Oil painting of me.

• 56:38Chris Ryan?

  It's more like 19th century English people did that, but I don't know why we still bother.

• 56:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, let's, let's get rid of that. The fake punch sound we talked about, and then there's that one scene when Mike's in the hospital and Orbach, who's like, doesn't realize he's gonna be in Crimes and Misdemeanors in a much better movie in two years. So he's really gotta go for the Oscar. And he's like, is it love, Mike? I hope so.

• 57:03Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 57:03Bill Simmons?

  I want it to be worth it for your sake.

• 57:05Chris Ryan?

  That is an incredible.

• 57:05Bill Simmons?

  But he's really trying to act.

• 57:06Chris Ryan?

  Incredible, like, workplace, like, changes over the decades is like, this captain is like, so tell me a little bit about this relationship you got going on.

• 57:15Bill Simmons?

  It's more than just sex, or what else do you have for What Stage Is the Worst?

• 57:18Chris Ryan?

  I, I just, I just had to focus on this, the sound effect. I don't know why Ridley Scott can't just go in and fix that as a digital, like.

• 57:26Bill Simmons?

  For Tubi? Could Tubi give him like $5,000?

• 57:29Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 57:30Bill Simmons?

  Not a bad idea. Ruffalo Hannah Rubenek Partridge overacting word. Venza!

• 57:36Chris Ryan?

  Or also Venzo when he's like, I give the order, I don't take orders!

• 57:40Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 57:41Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Or when Venza first gets Mimi Rogers in the bathroom at the party and he, the first thing he says to her is like, don't say a word!

• 57:50Chris Ryan?

  Screaming at the top of his lungs.

• 57:53Bill Simmons?

  That's another, like, What Stage Is the Worst? How does he get in that party? How does he sneak into the bathroom with nobody noticing him? He's like a wanted fugitive at that point.

• 58:02Chris Ryan?

  He also always seems to have a tux.

• 58:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Tux killer. That would have been a better idea.

• 58:10Bill Simmons?

  Oh, this'll be good. The CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford, hottest take award.

• 58:16Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 58:16Bill Simmons?

  I have a good one. What do you have?

• 58:17Chris Ryan?

  I think Venza's the best thing that ever happened to Mike and Ellie. I think that his entrance into Claire's life while dangerous and costing Win Hawkins his life, it just starts this snowball going downhill where Mike and Ellie, they were probably head towards a life of recrimination, financial stress, all this stuff, struggling to make ends meet. Then this crazy tuxedo killer comes into the world and it shows them what's important and it probably reinvigorates their sex life.

• 58:46Bill Simmons?

  Or you could say they got divorced in 12 months. It's one of the two. Yeah, that is, it did light a little fire on them. They'll probably speak fondly of them. I'm going bigger and grander. I think this had all the tools, much like Craig's guy, Ted McMillan.

• 59:08Bill Simmons?

  It's had all the tools to be the greatest erotic thriller of all time.

• 59:12Chris Ryan?

  Wow.

• 59:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. I even think it's a better blueprint than Fatal Attraction.

• 59:19Chris Ryan?

  Okay.

• 59:22Bill Simmons?

  It's, it's, it's a model that I think then got stolen by a bunch of Skinamax movies, where a cop protecting a socialite and they start having, but then they would actually have the sex. But you have, you could have a sex scene in the beginning with, when she's like, look at my ass. My ass is dropping. It's like, let's go at it there. Uh, we have, baby.

• 59:46Chris Ryan?

  You got so excited to diagram the different places we could have humping in this movie.

• 59:52Bill Simmons?

  We get, we get a solo, a solo scene with Claire. The unrequited sex thing. Yeah, she's in the bathtub.

• 1:00:01Chris Ryan?

  Okay, Bill, what the fuck?

• 1:00:03Bill Simmons?

  I'm just going through.

• 1:00:07Bill Simmons?

  Right through their playbook.

• 1:00:09Chris Ryan?

  Okay, so Claire rubs one out. Yeah.

• 1:00:15Bill Simmons?

  Neil comes over. He hears the moaning. We see that, right? We have a couple scenes with, uh, with Claire and Mike. It's bang nose out.

• 1:00:27Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:27Bill Simmons?

  Maybe, maybe one with Ellie where he's not quite, he has to stop during another.

• 1:00:32Chris Ryan?

  It's just like he can't get it up maybe, or like.

• 1:00:33Bill Simmons?

  And then some makeup sex at the end.

• 1:00:35Chris Ryan?

  Or maybe he makes.

• 1:00:36Bill Simmons?

  This is eight sex scenes they could have had.

• 1:00:38Chris Ryan?

  There is also the like, he could have brought home like an expensive dress and dressed Ellie like Claire.

• 1:00:44Bill Simmons?

  Oh.

• 1:00:46Chris Ryan?

  That would have been good.

• 1:00:46Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:00:47Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:47Bill Simmons?

  You've never bought me a dress like this, Michael. Or a nightgown.

• 1:00:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Put on Steve Winwood. Craig, am I crazy or does this have all the ingredients?

• 1:00:58Chris Ryan?

  I like, I like you breaking down erotic thriller play looks like Todd McShay.

• 1:01:01Bill Simmons?

  And also bursting into tears. I feel like my bench.

• 1:01:07Bill Simmons?

  I think this could have been.

• 1:01:08Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:09Bill Simmons?

  Uh, anyway, we missed out on that. Um, casting what ifs.

• 1:01:15Bill Simmons?

  Mimi tested for both parts.

• 1:01:17Chris Ryan?

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:01:18Bill Simmons?

  Didn't get the Bracco part.

• 1:01:19Chris Ryan?

  She wanted that. She wanted Ellie Moore.

• 1:01:21Bill Simmons?

  Didn't get the Bracco part. Didn't hear from them for a little bit. They brought her back for Claire. And she did this whole thing about how she knew it was just for Claire. She tried to dress middle on the road when she was auditioning for Ridley because she was doing both parts, but for Claire the second time. Got this really nice dress, really tried to socialize herself up and kind of inhabit the character. So she got it. But she also did a screen test with Behringer. But they had already screen tested together because they both went out for body heat. Neither of them got it.

• 1:01:54Chris Ryan?

  Interesting.

• 1:01:54Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. So good to see you again. Here's the big one though. Sharon Stone, screen tested for Claire. And then it went to Mimi and then four years later, flip, she gets Basic Instinct, Mimi doesn't.

• 1:02:09Chris Ryan?

  I'm sure the Sharon Stones probably got the right end of that deal.

• 1:02:14Bill Simmons?

  Sharon Stone as Claire is a completely different movie because I just don't think he's, I don't think he's going back to Queens. Yeah, he's not going back. Like you saw what she did in Basic Instinct with the cop. Like that guy's 20 minutes, he's doing cocaine and sitting, smoking cigs and killing people.

• 1:02:34Chris Ryan?

  I am never going back.

• 1:02:38Chris Ryan?

  That's the thing about me.

• 1:02:40Bill Simmons?

  Uh, so I think that probably worked out correctly.

• 1:02:43Chris Ryan?

  Uh, I would just throw.

• 1:02:46Chris Ryan?

  I just, I, I was trying to get like, I, I was trying to figure out whether Sarandon would have worked for Claire.

• 1:02:52Bill Simmons?

  I was just thinking about that.

• 1:02:57Bill Simmons?

  The erotic thriller. Oh man, this, we really took this to the next level. Uh, Susan Sarandon?

• 1:03:04Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. Nevermind.

• 1:03:07Chris Ryan?

  Who cares?

• 1:03:13Bill Simmons?

  So you'd have Susan Sarandon for Claire?

• 1:03:16Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. I don't think she worked, she would work as Ellie. I think you need somebody more Queensy than...

• 1:03:22Bill Simmons?

  Is Gina Davis too young?

• 1:03:23Chris Ryan?

  Oh, Gina Davis or Melanie Griffith might have worked as Ellie.

• 1:03:27Bill Simmons?

  Now, Melanie Griffith, you could always feel the, the, the damage from the past in all of her parts.

• 1:03:32Chris Ryan?

  Well, I mean, okay. Even in like, I guess something while she's, she's damaged, yeah.

• 1:03:38Bill Simmons?

  Kidman in like 95 would have been interesting?

• 1:03:40Chris Ryan?

  No.

• 1:03:41Bill Simmons?

  I'm saying like eight years later.

• 1:03:43Chris Ryan?

  Okay. Oh, okay. Like post Days of Thunder.

• 1:03:45Bill Simmons?

  I think your Chastain one is really good.

• 1:03:48Chris Ryan?

  Thanks.

• 1:03:48Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's like Chastain, like maybe early, mid 2010s.

• 1:03:52Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:03:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's a really good one. Demi Moore?

• 1:03:59Bill Simmons?

  Like maybe 93, 94 disclosure range?

• 1:04:03Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 1:04:05Bill Simmons?

  I thought Mamie was really good. Let's, uh...

• 1:04:11Bill Simmons?

  Let's take another break to regroup.

• 1:04:13Chris Ryan?

  Do you just keep thinking of different?

• 1:04:17Speaker 06

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• 1:04:44Speaker 07

  Priceline Negotiator. It's me, the... Priceline Negotiator. We don't need the jingle twice. What about a third time? Stop it. This is about vacation inflation and how Priceline negotiates amazing deals on hotels, flights, and rental cars. Seems like they just started. Yeah, but I didn't mention that you can save up to 60% off hotels in the Priceline app. Time to read the tagline. Fine. No one deals more deals than... Priceline. Please stop. Priceline. Touche. Priceline. Priceline.

• 1:05:14Bill Simmons?

  All right. Best that guy word. Does Andreas Katsoulis qualify anymore? He does, right? He's, I mean, he's just the one-armed man from the future.

• 1:05:23Chris Ryan?

  That guy, yeah.

• 1:05:24Bill Simmons?

  Only we know he's Andreas Katsoulis.

• 1:05:26Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, and then-

• 1:05:26Bill Simmons?

  So he wins.

• 1:05:27Chris Ryan?

  The other one would be Mark Moses for me.

• 1:05:29Bill Simmons?

  So I have Tony DiBenedetto as TJ, who also played Johnny Fingers in Mark for Death with Steven Seagal.

• 1:05:35Chris Ryan?

  That's right.

• 1:05:36Bill Simmons?

  So he's been in two movies. He's one of those guys. But yeah. Dionne Wade is a word.

• 1:05:42Chris Ryan?

  I have Orbach. Orbach.

• 1:05:47Bill Simmons?

  TJ, possibility. The cop buddy who lets Mike move in. Scotty.

• 1:05:53Bill Simmons?

  Rich, cocky murder guy, Win Hawkins. Orbach.

• 1:05:57Chris Ryan?

  I think Orbach.

• 1:05:58Bill Simmons?

  I considered him.

• 1:05:58Chris Ryan?

  Like you said, he's like really trying to go for it in that scene where he's just like, "Mike, what is this, love?"

• 1:06:06Bill Simmons?

  Can I make the case for does shooting someone make you hard, lady?

• 1:06:10Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, you can.

• 1:06:11Bill Simmons?

  She's in the movie for like a minute and a half and is great.

• 1:06:14Chris Ryan?

  It's great when she shows up again and he's just like, "Oh, Jesus Christ."

• 1:06:18Bill Simmons?

  Oh, thank God. I was gonna do this later for an answer, but does shooting someone make you hard?

• 1:06:23Chris Ryan?

  No.

• 1:06:25Bill Simmons?

  I was afraid to Google it. I didn't want to get a virus.

• 1:06:27Chris Ryan?

  Well, you've already got Craig Googling full-body masseuse.

• 1:06:30Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:30Speaker 07

  I don't know, it might. Isn't it the line in Superbad where he's like, "Having a gun is like having a second cock."

• 1:06:39Bill Simmons?

  Recasting couch director, City.

• 1:06:43Bill Simmons?

  How about Dennis Franz as TJ?

• 1:06:45Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 1:06:45Bill Simmons?

  Let's dial it up a notch.

• 1:06:46Chris Ryan?

  Yeah. I've, could we find a spot for Caruso in this movie?

• 1:06:53Chris Ryan?

  Could Caruso have been Scotty?

• 1:06:54Bill Simmons?

  Could Caruso have been Mike?

• 1:06:57Chris Ryan?

  A little early, right? But definitely like in, in the, the vein of the stuff that he's good at.

• 1:07:02Bill Simmons?

  He kills Vence at the end. He's like, "Step a legend."

• 1:07:10Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, we could have worked Caruso in this.

• 1:07:11Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:12Bill Simmons?

  I don't know, like, he was in, well, he was in King of New York, that was, that was, uh...

• 1:07:17Chris Ryan?

  Eighty-eight?

• 1:07:18Bill Simmons?

  That was like ninety.

• 1:07:19Chris Ryan?

  Ninety? Yeah, it's ninety, I just, yeah, it's ninety.

• 1:07:24Bill Simmons?

  Craig has a flex category choice, can't wait for this. What is it, Craig?

• 1:07:28Speaker 07

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna come up with a new one, and it's the weirdest attempt at a, a human intimate moment, when Tom Berenger, I'm gonna give him a D minus for his hair pulling performance of Mimi Rogers in that weird sex moment he had.

• 1:07:40Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:41Speaker 07

  It's like he's checking to see if she's wearing a wig.

• 1:07:44Bill Simmons?

  Or a wire.

• 1:07:44Speaker 07

  Ripping out the side of her hair, it's bizarre.

• 1:07:48Bill Simmons?

  So weirdest seduc-, I'm trying to think what that category would be.

• 1:07:53Chris Ryan?

  It's kind of like the...

• 1:07:54Bill Simmons?

  Least seductive, seductive move?

• 1:07:55Chris Ryan?

  Michael Douglas dancing with Roxy.

• 1:08:00Bill Simmons?

  Roxy, our girl. Roxy could have been...

• 1:08:03Chris Ryan?

  Oh my god.

• 1:08:04Bill Simmons?

  Anybody in this movie.

• 1:08:05Chris Ryan?

  Maybe like a friend of Ellie's.

• 1:08:06Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Half-assed internet research. You mentioned the Queen married thing, I kinda did all my research, I had a lot of Mimi Rogers research. And I don't really have any extra stuff. Uh, Apex Mountain.

• 1:08:20Chris Ryan?

  Berenger?

• 1:08:22Bill Simmons?

  I think it's Platoon.

• 1:08:23Chris Ryan?

  Well, this is eighty-seven, so like, like, it's Platoon, he gets recognized in Platoon, like, this twelve-month period.

• 1:08:29Bill Simmons?

  Yes, you're right. Mimi Rogers, she's the star of this movie, that they're pushing the hell out of it, and she's married to Tom Cruise, I feel like it probably is.

• 1:08:41Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:08:43Bill Simmons?

  You know, the great Bobby Wagon asked her why they hadn't worked together yet, and I was thinking, she could have easily been the Gina Gershon role in, uh, Cocktail, if they wanted to work together.

• 1:08:52Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:53Bill Simmons?

  But she wasn't. Bracco?

• 1:08:57Chris Ryan?

  No.

• 1:08:58Bill Simmons?

  We said it was, uh, Goodfellas.

• 1:09:00Chris Ryan?

  Yes.

• 1:09:01Bill Simmons?

  Not Sopranos.

• 1:09:03Chris Ryan?

  No.

• 1:09:04Bill Simmons?

  Arturis?

• 1:09:06Chris Ryan?

  Fugitive.

• 1:09:08Bill Simmons?

  Ridley Scott Gladiator?

• 1:09:10Chris Ryan?

  It's definitely not this.

• 1:09:12Bill Simmons?

  Definitely not this.

• 1:09:12Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:15Bill Simmons?

  Someone to Watch Over Me renditions in a movie.

• 1:09:18Chris Ryan?

  I mean, when you have three of them, I think, I think it's gotta be Apex Mountain.

• 1:09:22Bill Simmons?

  Counter.

• 1:09:24Bill Simmons?

  Mr. Holland's Opus. Rowena sings Someone to Watch Over Me. And Richard Dreyfuss's wife realizes that maybe something's going on there. And she has that great performance. So that might be, that's... I mean, you have three of them in this, but that's probably a more famous movie. I would say probably that movie. Queens? Movies in Queens? What are the competitions?

• 1:09:48Chris Ryan?

  Well, I mean, like, a lot of Goodfellas takes place in Queens, right?

• 1:09:51Bill Simmons?

  But do people think of Goodfellas as a Queens movie?

• 1:09:54Chris Ryan?

  Queens Boulevard?

• 1:09:58Chris Ryan?

  It's Jesus.

• 1:10:00Bill Simmons?

  I was just reading the, uh... I just caught up on the Seth Rogen vs. Doug Allen blood feud for the last 20 years that the studio reignited this week.

• 1:10:09Chris Ryan?

  Uh huh.

• 1:10:10Bill Simmons?

  Craig, are you familiar with this?

• 1:10:12Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, they hate each other and Seth Rogen wrote a Simpsons episode that like shits on Entourage and they've just been go... Cause he was gonna be Turtle, right? He was suppo...

• 1:10:19Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:20Chris Ryan?

  Ellen wanted Rogen as Turtle.

• 1:10:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he took a shot at Entourage and then there's a 2009 Entourage episode that starts with the characters talking about knocked up for like a minute. And Turtle's like, "I don't understand. That guy's so ugly. How does he land Katherine Heigl? He's so ugly." And they're just like saying how ugly he is for like 45 seconds. So it's still going.

• 1:10:43Chris Ryan?

  A great Queens movie is Coming to America.

• 1:10:47Bill Simmons?

  That's the best Queens movie. I think you're right.

• 1:10:51Chris Ryan?

  Apex Mountain for the Guggenheim?

• 1:10:54Bill Simmons?

  What are the other candidates?

• 1:10:55Chris Ryan?

  Well, just like, I guess the Guggenheim museum existing would probably be bigger than being in Someone to Watch Over Me.

• 1:11:01Bill Simmons?

  No, in a movie.

• 1:11:02Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I can't remember another Guggenheim scene, actually.

• 1:11:05Bill Simmons?

  The only other one I had for Apex Mountain was rich, hot, socialite characters.

• 1:11:12Bill Simmons?

  The platonic ideal of what that is.

• 1:11:13Chris Ryan?

  I just don't, I didn't remember that. Guggenheim is.

• 1:11:17Bill Simmons?

  That's probably the apex. Rich, rich, hot, socialite characters in a movie?

• 1:11:24Bill Simmons?

  Really needs to go up a notch.

• 1:11:26Chris Ryan?

  No, I think, I think Talented Mr. Ripley is, is hot socially.

• 1:11:30Bill Simmons?

  Oh, Gwyneth Paltrow's character?

• 1:11:32Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, Apex.

• 1:11:33Bill Simmons?

  Marge?

• 1:11:33Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:35Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's pretty good.

• 1:11:36Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I like that. Cruise or Hanks?

• 1:11:38Chris Ryan?

  Hanks.

• 1:11:40Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:42Chris Ryan?

  Although it would be pretty funny if Cruise was playing Mike.

• 1:11:45Bill Simmons?

  And instead of the sex scene, they're just laughing in bed after? Him and Claire?

• 1:11:52Bill Simmons?

  He spills like a cranberry juice on the, on the side table and they just laugh?

• 1:11:56Chris Ryan?

  Where he trips over Tommy's skateboard, he's like, Tommy!

• 1:11:59Bill Simmons?

  Ah, skating! Yeah, I'd go Hanks too. Scorsese or Spielberg is a little more interesting. Could make the case for both.

• 1:12:07Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I mean, the material would lend itself probably more to Scorsese, I think, especially at this time.

• 1:12:13Bill Simmons?

  Cocaine gets involved with Mike, I think.

• 1:12:15Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:15Bill Simmons?

  I think Mike and Scotty have a scene where they're signing fucking Bender in the bunk beds.

• 1:12:19Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:21Bill Simmons?

  He's on one, Scotty's on the other.

• 1:12:23Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, she's, she's a screamer.

• 1:12:25Bill Simmons?

  What role would Philip Seymour Hoffman have played? It could be Win Hawkins, you could talk me into, you could talk me into Neil.

• 1:12:33Chris Ryan?

  I'm gonna go with Coontz, the cop with the stud earring.

• 1:12:36Bill Simmons?

  Oh, just randomly thrown in there, okay.

• 1:12:40Bill Simmons?

  Picking nits.

• 1:12:43Chris Ryan?

  What the fuck is Venza doing? Like, what, what, what is the plan? Is he Kaiser Soze? Like, how has he just got? He runs roughshod up, first of all, what, what has Venza made his money doing? Is he the mob? Is he in the mafia?

• 1:12:56Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it seems like he's one of the preeminent mafia people in New York.

• 1:13:00Chris Ryan?

  But also-

• 1:13:01Bill Simmons?

  Who's now slumming it, just trying to kill this one lady and doesn't have other people trying to kill her.

• 1:13:06Chris Ryan?

  Cause the beginning of the movie, it's basically, he is given probably dirty money to Win Hawkins to open this club or to do whatever he's done.

• 1:13:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:13Chris Ryan?

  And now Win is buying him out. He's like, I don't wanna be bought out, so he just kills Win. But he murders a guy in cold blood, tries to intimidate a witness, gets caught at the Guggenheim doing it again.

• 1:13:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. But gets out.

• 1:13:31Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, but like, why?

• 1:13:33Bill Simmons?

  Isn't he free? Like, they're like, yeah, he's free. You didn't read him his rights, so now he's out. Is he out on bail or is he just out? Is the case closed?

• 1:13:40Chris Ryan?

  I don't understand what, and there's no district attorney in New York consulting on like any of this, like, well, this is what we gotta do here.

• 1:13:46Bill Simmons?

  And then if he's out, why does he have to kill her?

• 1:13:48Chris Ryan?

  And for what it's worth, as people have pointed out on the internet, actually, like, once a witness protection takes place over a couple, more than a day or something, the FBI takes you to like a secure location. She would not be like, I'm at my apartment going out in New York City a lot.

• 1:14:02Bill Simmons?

  Oh, people on the internet pointed that out?

• 1:14:03Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:04Bill Simmons?

  That's pretty good. I didn't see that. That's a pretty good point.

• 1:14:07Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:08Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, she would.

• 1:14:08Chris Ryan?

  She would be in a motel somewhere in like, you know, Hackensack, New Jersey, waiting for trial.

• 1:14:13Bill Simmons?

  Like Kiss of Death?

• 1:14:13Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:14Bill Simmons?

  When they take his family because he decides to go and, um, a movie that you won't see because it's not on fucking Tubi. Fuck you, Tubi.

• 1:14:24Bill Simmons?

  More pick and nits.

• 1:14:26Bill Simmons?

  Claire would never be with Neil. Neil sucks.

• 1:14:29Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, I didn't really.

• 1:14:30Bill Simmons?

  They have to establish that Neil is worth like a kajillion dollars and is like a minority owner of the New York Giants or something. I need, I need way more ammo than Neil. Yeah, I need, I need way more ammo that Neil is, he just blows. There's nothing cool about Neil at all.

• 1:14:43Chris Ryan?

  Also Neil be like, I have to travel for work. It's like your girlfriend is under constant threat from the Joker.

• 1:14:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, stick around Neil. Oh, and he's got this handsome cop who's gonna protect her and he's like, I've gotta go to Angola. I'll be back.

• 1:14:58Bill Simmons?

  Claire says to Mike at one, they nailed the socialite, rich person stuff with Claire. It's really great. But then she says, I have to go for a pee. To Mike. I just don't think she would say that.

• 1:15:10Chris Ryan?

  No.

• 1:15:11Bill Simmons?

  She was like, I have to stop by the ladies room. She would, it would just be classy. I don't think she would say that.

• 1:15:16Chris Ryan?

  Also, Mike would probably just stand outside the ladies room. Do you know what I mean? Like, it wouldn't be like, oh, cool, you, you.

• 1:15:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I'm just gonna get a drink and talk to the lady who asks if I get hard when I shoot people.

• 1:15:28Bill Simmons?

  Why, uh, why doesn't Joey just murder Claire in the bathroom?

• 1:15:33Chris Ryan?

  I don't know.

• 1:15:33Bill Simmons?

  It's the two of them. He murdered Winhockings.

• 1:15:36Chris Ryan?

  He's killed Winhockings. He will later almost kill a small child. He could have just stabbed Claire in the bathroom and left.

• 1:15:44Bill Simmons?

  He could have done the shot caller, just quick, 20 quick kidney shots.

• 1:15:51Chris Ryan?

  Instead, he screamed, "You don't say a word!"

• 1:15:53Bill Simmons?

  Yes, he makes a lot of noise.

• 1:15:55Chris Ryan?

  Be quiet!

• 1:15:56Bill Simmons?

  And then smears lipstick over her face, then runs out so he can get arrested. It's fucking shock collar.

• 1:16:04Bill Simmons?

  Sequel, prequel, prestige, TV, all black cast or untouchable?

• 1:16:07Chris Ryan?

  I think I'm all good.

• 1:16:09Bill Simmons?

  You're good?

• 1:16:10Chris Ryan?

  Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't think-

• 1:16:11Bill Simmons?

  It's not even an untouchable.

• 1:16:12Chris Ryan?

  I don't need to see Elliot and Mike the next day.

• 1:16:14Bill Simmons?

  Is this a new part of the category?

• 1:16:15Chris Ryan?

  I don't need to see how Claire got here. I, I, there's no character in this where I'm like, what was, I, under, other than Joey Venza, there's nobody else that like, I'm like, we need more of this.

• 1:16:27Bill Simmons?

  Can I make the prestige TV case?

• 1:16:29Chris Ryan?

  But it would be like, that would be the kind of show that we would watch the first episode and be like, this fucking rules. And then it would be like, episode six, and Joey Venza would be like, you know, flooding Madison Square Garden to do something. And we would be like, what the shit is going on?

• 1:16:45Bill Simmons?

  You don't think this could have been an Apple show? Apple loves like, rich people shit.

• 1:16:49Chris Ryan?

  By the fifth episode.

• 1:16:52Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. We could learn more about the queens, some of the cops.

• 1:16:54Chris Ryan?

  Sure.

• 1:16:55Bill Simmons?

  Scotty's divorce.

• 1:16:56Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:56Bill Simmons?

  The moaner.

• 1:16:58Chris Ryan?

  And then the twist would be that it turns out Tommy was the one who killed Winhockings.

• 1:17:02Bill Simmons?

  Craig, would you watch Someone to Watch Over Me on Apple?

• 1:17:04Speaker 07

  You just want more moments for erotic thriller scenes, Tony. You just want, you just want more sex scenes.

• 1:17:09Bill Simmons?

  It's like a Starz show.

• 1:17:11Chris Ryan?

  Is there, uh, there are not really that many erotic shows on TV.

• 1:17:14Bill Simmons?

  Starz had that show where it's like the couples that live next to each other in a house, and it's like a, seems like a, a simile erotic thriller show. I never watched it.

• 1:17:24Chris Ryan?

  I gotta admit, I don't know what show you're talking about.

• 1:17:26Bill Simmons?

  I really like Starz.

• 1:17:29Bill Simmons?

  Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Trejo, Doris Burke, Sam Jackson, Nell, Byron Mayo, Barney Cousins, Tony Romo, Harley Mays, Henry Hill? Added Henry Hill. Chris Collinsworth, Daniel Plainview, Long Legs, or Wilford Brimley in The Firm?

• 1:17:42Chris Ryan?

  Goddamn, Andreas!

• 1:17:45Chris Ryan?

  I didn't know I was working with a two armed man. I thought, much like Tobias Harris, you can't go left. Turns out you can kill in the name of pro Vasek or contract law. You better stop intimidating witnesses or Sergeant Barnes is gonna send you away. Law, fucking time, big boy.

• 1:18:06Bill Simmons?

  That was a really good one. I'm not even gonna do mine. You don't want to do DB at all just because it's playoff times?

• 1:18:14Chris Ryan?

  I don't have anything prepared. How is DB, has she been doing the Celtics?

• 1:18:18Bill Simmons?

  DB when Mike's walking the streets of New York. I see you, Mike. Battling this moral conscience of marriage versus adultery.

• 1:18:28Bill Simmons?

  Just want to ask her, who gets it? Braco? I think Braco. She's really good.

• 1:18:33Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, great, it's point actros, it's great.

• 1:18:36Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I have some really good, probably unanswerable questions.

• 1:18:41Bill Simmons?

  How loaded was Claire?

• 1:18:45Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:45Bill Simmons?

  That's like a-

• 1:18:45Chris Ryan?

  This is generational wealth that we're talking about, right? Like, is she, do you think she's-

• 1:18:48Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, what's going on here?

• 1:18:49Chris Ryan?

  Do you think that she's like a, like a-

• 1:18:51Bill Simmons?

  Is she like one of the Getty's?

• 1:18:53Chris Ryan?

  Astor family money?

• 1:18:54Bill Simmons?

  She talks about, she's like, I have to go to this thing because my dad funded this school and-

• 1:18:58Chris Ryan?

  Dead husband?

• 1:18:59Bill Simmons?

  Queens.

• 1:19:00Chris Ryan?

  Divorce?

• 1:19:01Bill Simmons?

  How old do we think she is?

• 1:19:03Chris Ryan?

  I think it's family money.

• 1:19:04Bill Simmons?

  Mimi's like 31, 32 in real life when she films this. Probably, probably engaged once.

• 1:19:12Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:19:13Bill Simmons?

  Um, in the, in her twenties and it, and the engagement got broken off.

• 1:19:18Chris Ryan?

  And you think Neil is kind of snooping around there?

• 1:19:20Bill Simmons?

  I think Neil is like a rich guy, but doesn't make her toes curl.

• 1:19:24Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:25Bill Simmons?

  She's, I feel like one of the Getty's.

• 1:19:29Chris Ryan?

  She had a bad relationship and Neil's the rebound, the safe, kind of like, he's, he's, he's-

• 1:19:34Bill Simmons?

  Maybe with some guy for five years, but it somehow didn't work out.

• 1:19:37Chris Ryan?

  But I feel like she probably is supposed to be like a Mary Astor, kind of like, you know.

• 1:19:41Bill Simmons?

  What does she do for a living, do we think?

• 1:19:43Chris Ryan?

  Nothing.

• 1:19:44Bill Simmons?

  Socialite slash, maybe owns an arcalary.

• 1:19:47Chris Ryan?

  Charitable foundations.

• 1:19:48Bill Simmons?

  Does charitable stuff. The dad is probably-

• 1:19:53Bill Simmons?

  Probably not alive anymore because I feel like he would have gotten involved.

• 1:19:56Chris Ryan?

  And he's also got his name on a bunch of buildings, probably.

• 1:19:58Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, so maybe the parents are dead. Maybe they died in a small helicopter crash.

• 1:20:02Chris Ryan?

  Good.

• 1:20:02Bill Simmons?

  In the early eighties.

• 1:20:03Chris Ryan?

  Having sex?

• 1:20:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, having sex. That's the first scene of the erotic thriller. They should have humped in the helicopter.

• 1:20:11Bill Simmons?

  But, uh, but yeah, so she probably no parents, engaged, um, inherited all this wealth. And money's just no object at all times.

• 1:20:22Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, but it's just like she doesn't, there's no feeling into it. Like she's, she's not getting any juice from it.

• 1:20:26Bill Simmons?

  But people like that, they, sometimes how are they gonna meet people? They're so intimidating.

• 1:20:30Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:31Bill Simmons?

  It's like the Princess Di corollary.

• 1:20:33Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:34Bill Simmons?

  Or, or the Tiger Woods's ex-wife when she was smoking hot and inherited most of his money and then everybody was afraid to date her for like four years.

• 1:20:41Chris Ryan?

  That's right. I forgot about that.

• 1:20:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Sometimes that happens. Uh, which leads me to my next unanswerable question. Claire, one of the great catches in movie history?

• 1:20:49Chris Ryan?

  And now she's just off to Europe. You know?

• 1:20:53Bill Simmons?

  Did anyone check more boxes than Claire?

• 1:20:56Chris Ryan?

  I mean, it's just, I think she would just be difficult to approach, you know? You're just, if you bump into her at the, at the Oak Bar, the Oak Room.

• 1:21:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you really have to have a lot of confidence and probably some deep wallets. I feel like Craig could maybe hang for like an hour. Craig, could you hang with an hour? Single Craig?

• 1:21:11Speaker 07

  Yeah, I'd tell her about Tet.

• 1:21:14Bill Simmons?

  The NFL Draft stuff. Tell her about the Dannys.

• 1:21:21Speaker 07

  She'd love to hear about the Dannys.

• 1:21:23Chris Ryan?

  Tell me more about hyphens.

• 1:21:25Bill Simmons?

  So one of them lives in-

• 1:21:26Chris Ryan?

  Fascinating. Good chemistry.

• 1:21:27Bill Simmons?

  One of them lives in DC and the other's in Seattle?

• 1:21:30Speaker 07

  Why are you so interested in what I do?

• 1:21:32Bill Simmons?

  Why so interested in the NFL Draft, lady?

• 1:21:37Bill Simmons?

  My last unanswerable, this is a really good one.

• 1:21:41Bill Simmons?

  Great- Movie breakups where it's just like, I'm not sure this person's gonna be the same anytime soon.

• 1:21:47Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:47Bill Simmons?

  This is way up there. What do Claire's next three boyfriends look like after this?

• 1:21:52Chris Ryan?

  Oh, I mean, she's gotta be with an Italian count next. Like, she's gotta go for the stars next.

• 1:21:58Bill Simmons?

  Well, it's like when Anne Hathaway, when she was dating that guy that I think she was engaged to.

• 1:22:03Chris Ryan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:22:03Bill Simmons?

  And he was that rich Italian dude, but then it turned out he was a complete phony.

• 1:22:07Chris Ryan?

  Con artist?

• 1:22:08Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he was a con artist. And then it was like, what did, like, after that, who do you?

• 1:22:12Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:13Bill Simmons?

  Are you on Raya after that? Being like, yeah, I'd love to meet somebody. Like, you're just like, I never want to meet anyone again.

• 1:22:18Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:19Bill Simmons?

  I just don't know what her next three look like. Probably like, I think she goes super old.

• 1:22:24Chris Ryan?

  It would be great if she like-

• 1:22:25Bill Simmons?

  Like, late 70s.

• 1:22:26Chris Ryan?

  If she dated like Wally Backman next.

• 1:22:30Bill Simmons?

  That's why I couldn't.

• 1:22:34Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:34Bill Simmons?

  That's a pretty good one. She's dating, yeah, I'm dating Gerald Wilkins. He's on the Knicks. He's the starting two guard.

• 1:22:44Bill Simmons?

  The Zouattine Award. What happened the next day?

• 1:22:46Chris Ryan?

  Mike and Ellie break up. He's made destitute by the divorce, has to pick up another job working security and dies of a heart attack at 45.

• 1:22:54Bill Simmons?

  Starts smoking heavily. Yeah. I have the same. What piece of memorabilia would you want or not want from this movie?

• 1:23:02Chris Ryan?

  I definitely would not want the bunk bed in Scotty's bachelor pad.

• 1:23:08Bill Simmons?

  I love when he's like, yeah, bunk beds, you know, kids.

• 1:23:13Chris Ryan?

  I would like the Jets sweatshirt to give it to Sean.

• 1:23:15Bill Simmons?

  I'd-

• 1:23:15Chris Ryan?

  To give it to Fenwick.

• 1:23:16Bill Simmons?

  Had that and, or the tie, but the Jets sweatshirt. I wonder if it's findable on eBay. The Coach Finstalker Award for Best Life Lesson. What the hell is so great about being married? Marriage is an idea whose time has come and gone, is an actual quote in this movie.

• 1:23:31Chris Ryan?

  In 1987.

• 1:23:32Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:32Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:32Bill Simmons?

  From Scotty.

• 1:23:33Chris Ryan?

  What do you think about, uh- I was gonna say, like, I was trying to articulate the like, like, is it, is it good that Mike cops to the falling for Claire to Ellie? Like, could he have just played that, like, yeah, look, it's a couple more night shifts, don't worry about it?

• 1:23:49Bill Simmons?

  I don't think he wants to. She kinda breaks him down.

• 1:23:52Chris Ryan?

  No, she doesn't. He like, he's clearly like, he wants to admit it.

• 1:23:55Bill Simmons?

  He can't even make eye contact with her. Yeah. Well, I think they have such a good relationship. He doesn't wanna hide stuff from her. That's how I interpreted it.

• 1:24:01Chris Ryan?

  Um, yeah, I think that the, the marriage was a good life lessons.

• 1:24:06Bill Simmons?

  Best double feature choice.

• 1:24:08Chris Ryan?

  I had Jagged Edge.

• 1:24:09Bill Simmons?

  So eighty-seven, just again, the two B greatest, almost like how the NBA was. That was one of the best NBA years. I had Black Widow.

• 1:24:19Chris Ryan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:24:19Bill Simmons?

  But you also could've talked me into Fatal Attraction, Jagged Edge, or a couple other movies from that. But I think it has to be another eighty-seven movie to get. Cause I had Black Widow because that's another movie. I think that also might be a two B movie.

• 1:24:32Chris Ryan?

  Black Widow is?

• 1:24:33Bill Simmons?

  Deborah Winger and Teresa Russell.

• 1:24:35Chris Ryan?

  Yeah, Jagged Edge is a couple of years before. Glenn Close plays a lawyer.

• 1:24:38Bill Simmons?

  Oh, right. That's eighty-five.

• 1:24:39Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:39Bill Simmons?

  Um, but I think Suspect is eighty-seven, which is another one. Dennis Quaid and Cher. Another two B all-star. But, uh, Black Widow. It's another one where the first ninety percent of the movie is awesome.

• 1:24:52Chris Ryan?

  And then the last ten percent sucks.

• 1:24:52Bill Simmons?

  And then the last ten minutes, you're like, what the fuck? That's the ending?

• 1:24:56Chris Ryan?

  Well, this is the thing with Someone to Watch Over Me is a way better midlife crisis movie than it is a cop movie.

• 1:25:01Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:04Bill Simmons?

  Really tough one. Who won the movie?

• 1:25:09Chris Ryan?

  I think it's a push among the actors. I, it would be kinda crazy to give it to Braco, so I'm gonna go Ridley.

• 1:25:16Bill Simmons?

  I think it's Mimi or Braco. But I think it's Mimi because this movie left me.

• 1:25:22Chris Ryan?

  Wishing she had done more.

• 1:25:24Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Braco got to be in some good stuff. Mimi, it's like, what? Felt like there was more there. Maybe there could have been some, like, could she have been the lead of Law and Order SVU for like 25 years?

• 1:25:36Chris Ryan?

  Did you say that she was like a great poker player too? Is that what you?

• 1:25:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:39Chris Ryan?

  I mean, maybe she was just-

• 1:25:40Bill Simmons?

  I'm fascinated by her.

• 1:25:41Chris Ryan?

  Taking down big pots.

• 1:25:42Bill Simmons?

  Maybe we just need to have her on the rewatchables and just dive into stuff. Yeah. Figure out what's going on with her. All right, this is really, really exciting. Craig had no idea what this movie was. What'd you think, Craig?

• 1:25:53Speaker 07

  I don't know what it says about me that now I'm like, Minority Report, not for me. And then this movie, I'm like, pretty good.

• 1:26:01Speaker 07

  I'm just into this now. You guys have converted me.

• 1:26:04Chris Ryan?

  Do you think you like it more now after Bill started crying, laughing, talking about all the places that they could have fucked?

• 1:26:10Speaker 07

  Yeah, I love the-

• 1:26:11Bill Simmons?

  Mallory has my back.

• 1:26:13Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah. My ass is not as tight as it used to be. Jump in there.

• 1:26:16Bill Simmons?

  Right, yeah.

• 1:26:17Speaker 07

  Perfect spot.

• 1:26:18Bill Simmons?

  Let me build your self-esteem up.

• 1:26:20Speaker 07

  Yeah, I don't know. These do it for me now. It's like scouting Abdul Carter's boring. I want like a fourth round tackle out of Chattanooga, you know? And that's what this movie is. It's a couple squares short of 80's movie bingo, but it hits a lot of them, you know? You get the love triangle, you got like the twangy guitar sound, like in between scenes, you got dance club. I think this is hairdo apex mountain.

• 1:26:42Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:42Speaker 07

  This is the Wade, LeBron and Bosch big three of 80's hairdos.

• 1:26:46Bill Simmons?

  Hmm.

• 1:26:46Speaker 07

  Out of the three of them?

• 1:26:48Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, there was a lot of style.

• 1:26:49Chris Ryan?

  The best mom hair I've ever seen.

• 1:26:51Speaker 07

  It's like bordering on Marge Simpson.

• 1:26:53Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:54Speaker 07

  Yeah. But it's just no gratuitous nudity. We have to have that. No sex scene. It's a huge miss.

• 1:26:59Chris Ryan?

  I was almost wondering if I was watching the TV cut.

• 1:27:02Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:27:02Chris Ryan?

  I was like, did I admit, like, is there really no nudity in this movie?

• 1:27:06Speaker 07

  I mean, there's like nothing.

• 1:27:07Chris Ryan?

  Bear, bear in your ass?

• 1:27:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, cuz I think, I honestly don't understand it. It's really like-

• 1:27:13Chris Ryan?

  I think he was trying to make it very tasteful and classical.

• 1:27:16Bill Simmons?

  Like, he's not really like a big crazy nudity sex guy, is he?

• 1:27:20Speaker 07

  Sigourney Weaver at the end of Aliens in her underwear. Mimi Rogers is like in a turtleneck the whole time.

• 1:27:24Bill Simmons?

  Right. Right. Well, it's an interesting choice because like Mimi's tall and she's, I would, I'll say the word buxom. And they really try to hide her in clothes the entire movie. We, you don't know it because it's all about like her hair and her face.

• 1:27:41Chris Ryan?

  It's also like, what is it? I guess it must be like fall in New York. I mean, like it's appropriate for like the weather and like whatever.

• 1:27:47Bill Simmons?

  That's why we needed the jet scene.

• 1:27:48Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:48Bill Simmons?

  We needed a jet scene.

• 1:27:50Chris Ryan?

  Can you imagine if, if Mike takes Claire to the Jets?

• 1:27:53Bill Simmons?

  Oh my God.

• 1:27:55Chris Ryan?

  He was like, I wanted to show you some of my world. So we're gonna sit next to Fireman and watch Castleville.

• 1:28:01Bill Simmons?

  Some kid in a Johnny Lamb Jones jersey throws up next to her. She starts booting up Miller Lite.

• 1:28:07Speaker 07

  Mike is really borderline concussed. When she's like, you want to go grab a drink? He like sits there and thinks about it for 15 seconds.

• 1:28:14Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:14Speaker 07

  He's like, cocktails, huh?

• 1:28:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:17Speaker 07

  I'm like, well, what's Mike's deal? Let's go have those cocktails.

• 1:28:20Bill Simmons?

  Should, this would have been a good category. Should Mike have had a mustache?

• 1:28:23Chris Ryan?

  Hmm.

• 1:28:24Bill Simmons?

  Would you have given him a New York? Cause he has some mustache and big chill.

• 1:28:26Chris Ryan?

  Earlier, he should have, but this was 80's. We're getting, we're getting towards the 90's. So I think guys were.

• 1:28:31Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that category we have about did this movie need a sports scene? This movie so clearly needs a jet scene with him going to the Jets with three of his buddies. Not with Claire, but when they're like, so Mikey, what's going on with you and that rich broad?

• 1:28:44Chris Ryan?

  It would be funny if there was like a, a Tommy skateboarding sequence where he's like doing all these tricks and stuff, but Mike's just daydreaming about nailing Claire.

• 1:28:53Bill Simmons?

  Tommy breaks an ankle.

• 1:28:54Speaker 07

  I would like to say good morning to Mimi Rogers. I was unfamiliar with her game.

• 1:28:58Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. So what'd you think? Were you surprised that this was basically the best movie she's been in?

• 1:29:03Speaker 07

  Yeah, her name is a name I've always known, but I, I could never put a face to it. I could not have told you a movie she's in and she, I mean, she's up there.

• 1:29:12Bill Simmons?

  It's an incredible, can't believe her and Cruz were a couple.

• 1:29:18Speaker 07

  I know. I didn't even really know that. Or I think that's why I only knew her name from that, but I didn't know what she looked like or who she really was.

• 1:29:23Bill Simmons?

  Lot of, lot of teeth for both of them. The kids would have been really interesting, probably super handsome, but kinda Kennedy leg.

• 1:29:29Chris Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:30Bill Simmons?

  Anyway, all right. Craig Corbett, producer.

• 1:29:33Chris Ryan?

  Great job by you today, by the way.

• 1:29:34Bill Simmons?

  Thanks. Jack Sanders as well back there. Uh, CR Chris Ryan. Uh, a one for us. We'll, we'll start doing some bigger ones after this episode, but we had to squeeze this out. Good to see you, CR.

• 1:29:45Chris Ryan?

  Good to see you.

• 1:29:57Speaker 06

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