Why Anxiety Is Your Superpower with Humble The Poet

What if anxiety wasn’t the enemy—but the invitation? In this episode, I sit down with my good friend Humble The Poet, and we have a real, raw conversation about one of the most common challenges we all face—anxiety. But we don’t treat it like a monster hiding in the closet. Instead, we explore it for what it really is: a signal, not a sentence. Humble brings a refreshing, honest lens to what it means to feel anxious in today’s world. He says anxiety isn’t about danger—it’s about uncertainty. It’s not that something’s wrong with you. It’s that you’ve been conditioned to believe you can’t handle life’s hard moments. But guess what? You can. “Anxiety is when your intelligence grows faster than your courage,” he says. That line hit me. We’re overthinking ourselves into paralysis, while our bodies are screaming for action, for movement, for breath. We also dig into how society—especially social media—is tricking us into thinking we’re not enough. That we’re missing out. That our value is tied to our achievements. But your worth? It’s not on the other side of likes, lists, or trophies. And when Humble said, “The people that matter most don’t care about your achievements,” I thought of my mom, my kids, and how true that really is. You’re not broken. You don’t need to avoid hard things. In fact, you get stronger by facing them—again and again. The goal isn’t to be fearless. The goal is to shorten the time between when fear shows up and when you respond with clarity and grace. That’s equanimity. That’s emotional fitness. That’s the real edge. Key Takeaways:• Why anxiety is not the enemy—it's the alarm pointing to unaddressed challenges.• The difference between reacting and responding—and how to close that gap.• How social media fuels our anxiety and why stepping away might be the best move.• The myth of being “too needy” and the truth about our need for community.• How envy reveals what you truly value—and what to do with that insight.• Why your worth isn’t tied to your most recent achievement. This episode isn’t just for those battling anxiety—it’s for anyone who’s ever questioned their worth, struggled with overthinking, or felt alone. You’re not. And this conversation will remind you of that. Let’s keep growing together. Max out. 👉 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👈 → → → CONNECT WITH ED MYLETT ON SOCIAL MEDIA: ← ← ← ➡️ INSTAGRAM ➡️FACEBOOK ➡️ LINKEDIN ➡️ X ➡️ WEBSITE Get my exclusive Monday Motivation training in GrowthDay, the world’s #1 app for advanced mindset and personal development. Visit https://growthday.com/ed. This show is sponsored by GrowthDay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  So hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive. And the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth-based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down, growthday.com/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content and they're on a regular basis, like having the Avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis, and I do.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free, tuition-free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com/ed. That's growthday.com/ed. I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 p.m. And my third day, 6:00 p.m. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too.

• 1:30Ed Mylett?

  And you definitely can't afford to waste it waiting weeks on a big bank for capital. Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason. Over 20 years in business, over $12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff, borrow better.

• 2:04Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Good times mean competitions between you and your friends. Like seeing who can throw some pigskin the farthest or rush the field the fastest. Winner gets an ultra because it's not just a superior light beer. It's also giving fans superior access to their favorite sporting events. Superior is worth playing for. Visit michelobultra.com slash superior access to enter. Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2026 Anheuser Busch InBev Michelob Ultra Beer, St. Louis, Missouri.

• 2:38Ed Mylett?

  This is the end mile show.

• 2:42Ed Mylett?

  All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. I'm so grateful this man is here today. He's one of my favorite guests ever. I'm not supposed to pick favorites, but I've done about 800 of these and I so enjoyed our conversation. We're just so much closer after our initial conversation. He's a very unique man. When you're in his presence, you just feel a sense of kindness and generosity, but at the same time, strength for me, though, I was struck by what I would literally categorize as brilliance in his work. And he doesn't put stuff out until it's really what he wants it to be. He's not a guy who just cranks out books or content. It's really thought provoking work. I don't know what you'd call him. He's a poet, he's a thought leader, he's an influencer, but what he really is is somebody who just really thinks deeply about life

• 3:27Ed Mylett?

  and helps people live better lives and brings more peace and strength into people's lives. So humble the poet, welcome back to the show, bro.

• 3:34Humble the Poet?

  Thank you so much for having me back. I really appreciate it.

• 3:36Ed Mylett?

  This new book is called Unanxious and I want you to go get it. 50 simple truths to help over thinkers feel less stress and more calm. We're talking about anxiety today, everybody, and I just told you before we started, this one's for me.

• 3:48Humble the Poet?

  Yeah.

• 3:49Ed Mylett?

  Cause I suffer.

• 3:50Humble the Poet?

  I think this one's for everyone.

• 3:50Ed Mylett?

  It is for everyone, brother. You say something in the book, I want to ask you first, wait till you guys hear this interview. I just know this guy, okay? You say anxiety is really overestimating the threat.

• 4:01Humble the Poet?

  Yeah.

• 4:01Ed Mylett?

  And I think you said underestimating your ability to deal with it. Just let that settle for a second and then I'll let you elaborate.

• 4:07Humble the Poet?

  Yeah, definitely. A lot of this has to do with our capacity. We don't know, you know, I like, I like the idea that, you know, we are. Tea bags. We don't know how strong we are until we're in hot water. And the thing is, we, as we get older, we constantly facilitate a life where we want things to be as easy as possible. Conveniences, you know, have food delivered to us, everything on an app on our phone, and we don't realize that comes at the expense of our resilience. And as the resilience goes down, we don't think we can handle things. And then things in life happen, AKA 2020. And all of a sudden, everything that we thought was going to be one way is definitely not. And then we get a chance to see how resilient and how strong we can actually be.

• 4:49Humble the Poet?

  And what we're doing is we're overestimating these dangers and we're underestimating our ability to deal with it is because the signal that we're getting is everything is dangerous, but the definition of danger to our survival brain is like, is it new? Does it kind of remind me of something that hurt me in the past? Is it unfamiliar? Is it just going to be hard work? And especially when we're having these conversations around mental health, it's amazing that we're having mental health conversations, but we've swung the pendulum so far the other way. And now mental health has become this excuse to avoid hard things. It's an excuse to avoid hard people. We treat our mental health like it's this delicate flower.

• 5:24Ed Mylett?

  You're right.

• 5:24Humble the Poet?

  That we have to protect it. And it's like, no, our mental health is like our physical health. It is here to protect us. It's here, our piece is a muscle. Our piece doesn't need to be protected from other people. And our resilience is us training our mental health so we can deal with the BS that's definitely going to find us in the outside world.

• 5:43Ed Mylett?

  That's an interesting perspective because you're right. The thing now is like, hey, protect your peace. Avoid this, avoid this, rid this out of your life. And you're saying that's actually preparation and training to make you more resilient towards anxiety in the future.

• 5:56Humble the Poet?

  Absolutely. It's like, if you go to the gym.

• 5:57Ed Mylett?

  And you know, I agree with you on that.

• 5:58Humble the Poet?

  I know you definitely agree. And you know, you go to the gym, you have to struggle for it to be a good workout. It's the same thing with our mental health. We have to voluntarily struggle mentally, whether it's sitting in an ice bath and calming down our brain from thinking that we're going to die. Holding a yoga pose, you know, reading a book that's a little bit more challenging, having an uncomfortable conversation. Being around people who aren't easy to have conversations with. So instead of just dismissing, oh, that person is a narcissist. I gotta stay away from them. This person is toxic. Because what we might be saying is this person is challenging the way I communicate, the way I live, the way I exist. So I need to step up my game. I need to be uncomfortable.

• 6:41Humble the Poet?

  We have to do hard things on purpose to get stronger, both physically and mentally.

• 6:46Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, you say in the book, and by the way, I, I try to do this. I just don't do it, bro. Is you really can't think your way out of anxiety. You have to physically take action out of you. I think that's the way that you say in the book. And I want to talk about that for a second because I think when anxiety strikes most people, at least like me, I just start thought looping. I'll think about it over and over. Now, now it's the 93rd time I've thought about this as if somehow I'm going to find a door out of this room of anxiety and the solution. If I just think about this enough, it'll, I don't know what I think. I think if I think about it enough, I'll figure something out. I didn't think the first 92 times, I guess. But that just elevates the level of stress and anxiety in my body. And I think actually harms my ability to deal with it.

• 7:28Humble the Poet?

  Absolutely. And I want to approach that from grace. So overthinking is believing your intuition doesn't work, right? So what happens is you, a situation happens, your intuition is whispering to you what you need to do. Most likely it's going to be hard. So then your brain is like, oh, this is uncomfortable. So let me create this thought loop, which will trick me into thinking that I'm solving a problem when I'm really doing nothing. Because one thing that we don't enjoy is uncertainty. So the certainty of like, I gotta figure this, like, I can't come on Ed's show. I have to rehearse my talking points. I gotta get ready. I gotta figure this all out. You know what? I should lose some weight. I gotta do all these things and just continually avoid the challenge that maybe having a conversation with you.

• 8:11Humble the Poet?

  And the thing with this is there's nothing wrong with us for doing it. It's a protective mechanism that we have because when we have these anxious feelings, we want to soothe them. And generally, the three ways that we soothe our anxious feelings is through distracting, medicating, or avoiding. And we trick ourselves and this is our body trying to protect us because our body is responsible for protecting us, but it's not responsible for figuring out what the danger is. So what happens is a new situation happens, our body is told you're in danger and it goes into protection mode. What we have to do is to work to train the body be like this doesn't count as danger. And also some of the familiar things that are unhealthy that you don't consider danger, we need to redress that.

• 8:55Humble the Poet?

  And so the big thing I try to remind people is especially listening to this conversation, they're gonna hear a bunch of good stuff, feel motivated, the body has to catch up to the brain. And the brain can hear it and our prefrontal cortex, our logical brain totally gets it. But our body, which is generally controlled by our survival brain, our amygdala, it needs to practice something to get it. Me and Stephen were talking about jujitsu earlier. I think for me, that was the perfect example was like I meet, I meet a guy, we're chatting, we're about to roll. I know he's kind, I know he doesn't want to harm me, but the second we roll and he like grabs my neck, my body will tense up, my body will think it's in danger, even though logically I know I'm with a friend. And it's that I, the only way to address that is to keep doing it.

• 9:39Humble the Poet?

  You know, if your young child wants to jump into the pool and they're scared, you're like, I'll catch you. Even if they jump in and you catch them, the fear doesn't just delete. You gotta get back out, do it again and keep doing it until we deal with it. This is how acting through anxiety works. If not, you gotta act through it once. Now, if I want to send someone a text message to ask for a favor and I do and I hit send, great, I got through it. That doesn't delete all the anxiety around asking for help. I have to continually practice. And then especially with the lifestyle I have, which is doing all this social stuff, then going into a cave for two years to write again, all of that resets, just like your physical health. If you don't go to the gym after for two years, the atrophy builds, you gotta get back into the swing of things.

• 10:21Humble the Poet?

  And it's the same thing when it comes to doing interviews, being social, what we've practiced is how, what we make progress in. We have to focus on that, progress over perfection. And when it comes to this, the overthinking is our brain's way of tricking us and tricking itself to think, oh, we're solving this problem by constantly revisiting it and creating new problems. True. A great definition of anxiety is anxiety is when your intelligence is growing faster than your courage.

• 10:52Humble the Poet?

  And if you watch that last Disney movie, Inside Out Part Two, you see that perfectly where the anxiety character re-appropriates the imagination section of the brain to just discover things that could be scary. Instead of using the imagination for curiosity, which is courage in disguise, it uses the imagination for judgment. Oh, that might go wrong. That might go wrong. This is the reason not to do it. And that's exactly what we do, especially as adults.

• 11:17Ed Mylett?

  See, guys, this is why I love him. I told Steve, my producer, before we started, this is probably going to go a little long today. So, one of the things you draw a correlation to in the book, or you at least explain, which I totally know is true from all the coaching I do, is that overachievers probably have this proclivity more than maybe even everybody else. If you're listening, you're an overachiever. So, let's get to it. There's no magic pill, but I want you to give us a little bit of a magic pill here for a second. Okay, I'm gonna push you on something. You have a book out right now. Unanxious, by the way. Go get it, everybody. That's why he's here and why we're talking. And I know what comes with putting a book out. I know. Okay, a lot of pressure, a lot of stuff, a lot of interviews. What are my numbers today? Are we gonna hit this list? You guys that don't write books, it sucks, but there's just all this stuff and you want to do-

• 12:01Humble the Poet?

  Writing the book is the easy part.

• 12:03Ed Mylett?

  Writing the book is the easy part, but actually letting it go from you isn't. There's a lot of insecurities and anxiety that comes with, is this the right book? Did I put everything in there I wanted? You know I know, right? So, overachievers have it, maybe even more than everybody else, but everybody has it. What's a thing you've been doing for yourself, an actual tactic you've been using to like, okay, here's how I'm gonna deal with this right now?

• 12:26Humble the Poet?

  So, I think the first thing, and again, this goes back to the mental health conversation, is how we take these things and make them our identity, right? So, someone might say, I'm anxious. And I love what Mel Robbins said. Instead of saying, I'm anxious, say, I feel anxious because, and then finish that sentence. Now, the way we have these mental health conversations is we treat it like astrology, like, oh, I'm a cancer, I'm an overachiever, I have ADHD. And we start labeling these things, not realizing that these labels or these diagnoses are the beginning of the journey. Not the ending like, oh, now I realize why I stress that over thing. I'm an overachiever. It's like, no, no. If you feel like you're an overachiever, that means you identify your value through your achievements. And if we want to get more specific, you identify your values through

• 13:11Humble the Poet?

  your most recent achievements. Cause a lot of overachievers can do that one home run, sell that unicorn company, have that New York Times bestseller and make forever money. And then the next day be like, damn, what's next? Cause my identity is associated with my latest achievement and I'm seeing other people achieve. And I've seen this with some of my friends who are very successful where it's like, even if they're in the process of building the next thing, just social media makes them be like, oh, man, I haven't had a win in a while. I haven't had a W in a while. And it's this idea that our identity and our value is based on this external thing. And that's the first thing that we have to address, that I am not my achievements. Most of the people that actually matter in my life, don't care about my achievements at all. Very well said.

• 13:56Humble the Poet?

  They really don't care. And so for me, that was definitely a thing. I always go back into my history and like, well, let's see how things played out. Well, so this time around, I'm doing an interview with you after the book came out versus, you know, a previous book release. I'd be like, oh, I want to line up all the big interviews before the book comes out and they're going to line up. It's going to feed the almighty algorithm and all this stuff. And it's like, well, I kind of had that before and it happened. And then life moved on and I forgot about it. And it's like, maybe that is not something worth stressing myself out about. And I mean, and by stress, I'm just talking about creating more cortisol, more adrenaline, just creating more of that stuff where your body thinks you're in danger. It's like, maybe this isn't actually worth it. And yeah, I would love to have an amazing debut. I would love to have amazing sales. Not so I can buy a

• 14:40Humble the Poet?

  bunch of stuff, just so I can have enough leverage to write another book, just so people want to have me back on their shows. But at the same time, I realized that, hey, what we realize is we put our identity and our value and our worth through these external things, not realizing that A, most of the achievements that we have are not ours and ours alone. Things had to line up, you know? Luck is opportunity meeting preparation, but the opportunity had to come for our preparedness to meet that. And I think the second thing for people is realizing is like, Especially in the society that we live in right now. I like to say, society is just three different economies in a trench coat. You know. What are they?

• 15:22Humble the Poet?

  You know, it's, it's just designed for us to grow, make money, produce, be in debt. And, and you know, whatever loose time we have, treat that as a product to purchase. You know, work this many hours and you have three hours left, subscribe to this, watch this, buy this. And it's like, but we as human beings, we care about society because we grew up in these smaller villages. You know, these 200, no matter who you are and what part of the world you come from. If you go back three or four generations, your family was in a small community. And that's what our software is designed for, to care about the, the needs of that community. Put the, put our needs second to that village of 200 people. We don't live in those 200 people villages anymore, and we should be mindful of that.

• 16:07Humble the Poet?

  So all this producing, all this achieving, all of it's there because we feel like it, it gives us value in the eyes of other people. And really it doesn't. And again, I'm, I'm talking about this logically, it's going to hit the brain. But for the body to feel like, wait, can I just sit here today and do nothing? You know, that's going to take practice. You may have to put that in your, you know, your hyper organized schedule, an hour of doing nothing. And maybe remind yourself, I'm a human being, I'm not a human doing. Yes. I'm just here to be. Yes. And my happiest moments is when I get to be present where I am. My mind isn't thinking about my regrets of yesterday. My mind isn't thinking about my anxieties for tomorrow. It's just where it's at. Yeah.

• 16:50Humble the Poet?

  And we, we all know that because that's what, that's how we feel when we're driving our car really fast. When we're gambling, when we're having great sex, anything, you know, when we're meditating, when we're gardening, when we're with people we love, where we're completely present. Or maybe we're at a sporting event and all of a sudden now we're a part of the wave at a stadium. And all of a sudden now you don't even exist, you're just a part of a bigger thing. And you're in, you're completely in the present, you're completely in the moment. That's what we're chasing with all these things. That's the soothing that we're chasing. And all I'm encouraging is to say, hey, I know you want to feel better. A lot of the ways that we're currently feeling better are just temporary. We're just hitting snooze on the alarm. Let's go ahead and permanently address the things that are making us feel uncomfortable.

• 17:34Humble the Poet?

  So we don't have to revisit those anymore. And instead, we can revisit the next thing. I'm not here to promise you a life without anxiety. I'm here to promise you a relationship, a better relationship with your emotions, anxiety being the most misunderstood one.

• 17:48Ed Mylett?

  Bro, that's why I liked the book. When you're like unanxious, I'm like, okay, he's gonna tell everybody they're never gonna be anxious again. Like, and, and I know you better than that. And so I want to ask you a hard thing. You said a lot there that I just want to illustrate as a, you know, maybe a little bit older guy than my audience sometimes. The people that matter most don't care about your achievements. I flashed immediately to my mom. I flashed immediately to my kids and my family, my sisters and my wife, and they don't care. And, and frankly, the people that matter least are the ones you really got all this anxiety about most of the time.

• 18:28Ed Mylett?

  And that leads me to a question, and I'm debating this with myself because one of the premises of the book is don't avoid these hard things. But I want to ask you about social media. You brought it up there in your soliloquy and I'm really debating, I've been off for a year. But I'm in a time in my life where, you know, I, I don't need, I never needed any of this, right? I started doing my content for free for the first seven or eight years. And then I'm like, well, I should at least run ads on my show or monetize. And I'm at a point now where I feel like it's getting more and more toxic between the politics that are out there on the internet, the hatred, the keyboard warriors. Seems like even people are trying to help people. There's a lot of taking people out and down. And I'm contemplating, I'm in the middle, I'm doing it with this morning.

• 19:13Ed Mylett?

  Do I want to do this much longer? And I mean, everything. I mean, podcasts, YouTube, social media. Or do I want to get back maybe more often to the things that just truly do bring me peace? Same time, I don't want to avoid my calling of helping people, et cetera, et cetera. I wonder your thoughts, because I think for a lot of people listening to this, social media has flipped a little bit from being this place of information and inspiration and these other things to it's just a lot that creates this wrong feeling in your body.

• 19:43Humble the Poet?

  Absolutely.

• 19:43Ed Mylett?

  So what would you say about that? Get off of it or no? Because the premise of the book is reframe it, reposition it.

• 19:48Humble the Poet?

  I mean, short answer, get off.

• 19:50Ed Mylett?

  Get off.

• 19:50Humble the Poet?

  Short answer, throw, throw your phone in the pool, throw it in the ocean, like, short answer, it's that.

• 19:56Humble the Poet?

  I was off for the last two years. I was probably off since we last saw each other in person. And, you know, there were career consequences from that. And I'm grateful that I had people like you who share their massive platforms with me to even just kind of reignite having my name back out there. Because you can do something like write a book and people could love the book, but if they don't know exists, then they can't read it. And that's kind of what you see people are doing with their platforms is they're maintaining their platforms for years so they can set it up for something else. But with everything, not just social media, everything is a great idea until it's not. You know, and you should always look for the edge of a great idea to know when you're gonna fall off a cliff.

• 20:36Humble the Poet?

  And, you know, just simply our devices, the blue light in our devices harms our sleep. You know, just staring at your device harms your sleep. I have my device on black and white. That hurts your sleep. You know, sleep is probably the most important thing anyone can do to improve their mental health. You know, strengthening your mental health by getting some great sleep. There's that. Also, as I said, judgment is the language of fear. There is no space, there's no safe space for empathy and nuance on social media. People are fighting for attention. And the way to best get attention is to say polarizing things, say violent things, just say things that will get a knee jerk reaction. You know, Mr. Beast, who's like the most famous person on the internet, he constantly calls it, you know, the purple cow. You have to have a purple cow at the beginning of every video.

• 21:20Humble the Poet?

  Show people something they've never seen before, which is generally what people are trying to do with these outrageous claims, these outrageous sentences, these hyperbolic. That's not going to change, you know. So if it's like, if you're in a situation, so even a lot of us justify it, it really is a slot machine where you're just continually pulling it. And it's also the exact same formula of an abusive relationship. If anybody ever wants to know why someone goes back to an abuser, ask yourself why you keep going back to your phone. Because it sucks most of the time, but when it's good, it's so good. Golly. And you don't know when it's going to be good. And us as a species, we love unanticipated rewards, just like slot machines, just like abusive relationships, just like our phone.

• 22:04Humble the Poet?

  We can scroll through it, see a lot of toxicity. Oh my God, look at this cute puppy, hugging a monkey. It was all worth it for the hour. And the truth of the matter is, It soothes anxious feelings temporary. Again, it hits the snooze button on it. But at the end, with every addiction, you can't get enough of it and it almost works.

• 22:25Ed Mylett?

  Did you feel better off or on? Or no change?

• 22:28Humble the Poet?

  No, no, I felt dramatically better on because I remember.

• 22:31Ed Mylett?

  Dramatically better on social media?

• 22:32Humble the Poet?

  No, off.

• 22:32Ed Mylett?

  Off, got it.

• 22:34Humble the Poet?

  I got back onto social media to start promoting this book, October 2024. So pretty much I put it on my phone so I could start posting again and instantly it's like having a salty potato chip after three years. You forgot what life was like without it.

• 22:50Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 22:50Humble the Poet?

  And instantly I could see a degradation in my mental health. I could see a, you know, and, and I went in knowing, I'm like, all right, I'm going to start in October. I'm going to get off in July. I'm going to dive into the mud. I'll be okay. And it was like, no, like it makes, you know, because life is still life. And, and challenging things are happening on the outside and this would just amplify it. And I really think, and I understand what it was. I understand how useful it used to be, you know, I was on Facebook where if you had a hundred followers, a hundred people saw what you posted. You know, those, those days are over, but also it's just we're, we're, we're being exposed to too much. It's become weaponized. It was designed by very, very smart people who were paid by really rich people to keep our attention.

• 23:33Humble the Poet?

  And this attention economy is coming at the expense of our resilience. It's coming at the expense of our peace. And it's coming at the expense of our sleep, which to me, I think is the most important thing.

• 23:43Ed Mylett?

  I agree. What I like about your work is this, is that there are, you shouldn't be avoiding anxiety. Like if work gives you anxiety, you gotta work, right? If you've got a dream in your life to be a public speaker, but speaking gives you anxiety, you've got to find the equanimity in the process of doing that, which we'll talk about in a minute. However, there are things in your life that are giving you anxiety that are unnecessary in your life.

• 24:02Humble the Poet?

  Yes.

• 24:02Ed Mylett?

  That don't have the rate of return. That could be a person. It could be a task you do, a place you go. It could be social media. And for me, I'm pretty sure that that thing is the number one contributor to my anxiety and stress. And that the juice isn't worth the squeeze probably much longer for me, just in my case. So hey guys, I want to jump in here for a second and talk about change and growth. And you know, by the way, it's no secret how people get ahead in life or how they grow. And also taking a look at the future. If you want to change your future, you got to change the things you're doing. If you continue to do the same things, you're probably going to produce the same results. But if you get into a new environment where you're learning new things and you're around other people that are growth oriented, you're much more likely to do that yourself. And that's why I love Growth Day.

• 24:45Ed Mylett?

  Write this down for a second, growthday.com/ed. My friend Brendon Burchard has created the most incredible personal development and business app that I've ever seen in my life. Everything from goal setting software to personal accountability, journaling, courses, thousands of dollars worth of courses in there as well. I create content in there on Mondays where I contribute as do a whole bunch of other influencers, like the Avengers of influencers and business minds in there. It's the Netflix for high achievers or people that want to be high achievers. So go check it out. My friend Brennan has made it very affordable, very easy to get involved. Go to growthday.com/ed. That's growthday.com/ed. This episode is sponsored by Ro. A lot of people assume GLP-1's cost a fortune and that assumption keeps them from even looking into treatment.

• 25:30Ed Mylett?

  Ro helps people find a more affordable path to FDA-approved GLP-1 treatment. Ro wants to help people lose weight. That's why they have more affordable GLP-1 options, whether you're paying with insurance or cash. Ro's free insurance checker makes it easy to see if you're covered for GLP-1 injections. Just submit your insurance card and Ro handles the rest. No paperwork, no waiting on hold, no confusing phone calls. And if insurance doesn't cover treatment, there are still options. Ro offers the lowest cost cash pay FDA-approved GLP-1s, such as daily pills and multi-dose pens. I use products by Ro and you should too. Go to ro.co/milet to see if you qualify. That's R-O dot C-O slash Mylett to get started on Ro.

• 26:14Ed Mylett?

  For side effects of GLP-1 medications, including boxed warning, go to ro.co/safety, ro.co/safety. So when I ended up buying the island, we had to do all of our outdoor decorating and I spent a fortune in the first half of the place and I'm like, I don't want to do this anymore, but I want the best stuff. And that's where Wayfair came in. My wife wanted to get this new garden bed and Wayfair was the place that offered the perfect solution. Wayfair also helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value and trusted reviews. Wayfair verified products are hand vetted by product specialists. They use a 10-point quality inspection system. Here's what I could tell you. The stuff has lasted over time. It looks great and I get compliments on it. Shop thousands of products across every style and budget, whether you're trying to refresh your space for fall or transform your space for Halloween.

• 26:58Ed Mylett?

  Use filters, custom photos and reviews to find the right fit for your home. More than 20 million verified five-star reviews, 20 million. So transform your space with the pieces that hold up to real life. Join Wayfair Rewards today and get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com.

• 27:26Ed Mylett?

  One of the things you say in the book, I want everybody to feel this if you feel despair. You kind of correlate despair to the belief that you've run out of options.

• 27:34Humble the Poet?

  Absolutely.

• 27:35Ed Mylett?

  Which you and I both believe is a lie.

• 27:36Humble the Poet?

  Yeah.

• 27:37Ed Mylett?

  So let's, let's go there for a second. We'll say, I'm not just having anxiety right now. I find myself from time to time in despair.

• 27:42Humble the Poet?

  Yes.

• 27:43Ed Mylett?

  What would you say?

• 27:43Humble the Poet?

  That's actually, you know, the advertisement for the book is, you know, if not, I will take away your anxiety. Cause you don't want me to take away your anxiety. Anxiety is a superpower when used right. I will take away your despair around anxiety. And I'm defining despair as feeling hopeless because you don't have options. And it's like, well, here I'm about to give you 50 extra options. And that's what's important here. When we have despair, let's say, for example, we have financial despair. It's like, oh, I have a bill due next week and I don't have any money. I don't know what to do. Distress is thinking you've run out of options. Now, if somebody who's a little bit more educated in finance is like, oh no, we, we completely have options here.

• 28:26Humble the Poet?

  We can refinance this. We can put these three credit cards together, get you a lower interest rate. Oh, we can get you a loan, security against this. Oh, you know, grandma can lend you some money. All of a sudden, a lot of the anxiety around that goes down. Despair is thinking you don't have options. And the thing is because we're so isolated and we don't talk about our problems and we don't share them. We're limited to what we know. And that's the despair that I really want to address with everything is realizing despair is a lack of options. There always are more options. And the first step is to talk to people and ask what are my options? Even go on chat GPT if you have to and just be like, hey, this is what I'm dealing with. What are my options?

• 29:04Ed Mylett?

  Can I tell you something?

• 29:05Humble the Poet?

  Yes.

• 29:05Ed Mylett?

  I have to say this to you. This is crazy that you just said that. I have some, I wouldn't call it quite despair, but really elevated anxiety about something right now. Last night I could not sleep. This is me.

• 29:17Humble the Poet?

  Yeah.

• 29:18Ed Mylett?

  And you know what I went to? Chat GPT. And like it was my best friend started going back and forth. And they would ask him, what's funny about chat GPT? And they goes, well, what do you think?

• 29:26Humble the Poet?

  Yeah.

• 29:26Ed Mylett?

  And I did that last night. I'm like, have I lost my mind? I'm talking to my phone and AI about a problem, not one of my best friends. But there was something to that last night for me.

• 29:38Humble the Poet?

  Absolutely.

• 29:38Ed Mylett?

  It's amazing. You just said that I did it last night, first time in my life.

• 29:41Humble the Poet?

  Cause, cause what chat GPT and AI is doing is filling in the gap that happened again with this pendulum swing where now the business model of our therapist or physical therapist, their business model requires them to listen and just listen. Meanwhile, our friends don't listen and just keep offering solutions. So now you go to a friend with your problem, your friend is not qualified, but they care about you. What happens is you start telling them your problems, it starts triggering their anxious feelings. So in order to shut you up, they give you solutions. They may not even realize why they're giving solutions. They just want to soothe their own anxious feelings. Meanwhile, that's what a ther- a therapist should be providing like hands on pragmatic solutions. But they're like, I gotta keep this client.

• 30:24Humble the Poet?

  So I'm just gonna listen and be there. And we need to flip it. Friends need to just listen, be there and then respond with, ah, that must suck. Please tell me more. Okay. Because friends aren't charging us by the hour. And our therapist should be like, ooh, that's horrible. This must be difficult. Here is a game plan. And I think chat GPT at this point right now is doing that. It's given us these game plans. But again, it's access to our collective knowledge. And I think there's something brilliant and amazing about that. Again, I'm not encouraging you to just build a relationship with chat GPT. But yeah, I use it for everything in those contexts of like, what are my options?

• 31:04Humble the Poet?

  Because again, there is, as you talked about your job, finances, maybe the weather, you know, all these different things. Maybe a family member with a health issue. These are. Anxiety causing issues that are completely out of our control. So the least we can do is address the ones that are in our control. And the big one is that despair.

• 31:22Ed Mylett?

  You're literally blowing my mind that you just said that. First time I've ever been on chat GPT in my life was 12 hours ago, last night about something that I anxiety about. Blows my mind that that just came up. How random is that? The other thing that's in the book is I you quote me in the book.

• 31:36Humble the Poet?

  Yes.

• 31:36Ed Mylett?

  And I want to talk about it. I'll let you give the answer, but the the other thing that can cause really elevated anxiety, maybe even past that, maybe to despair, is you got to make a decision about something. And you're so afraid to make the wrong one. Whereas I find the most dynamic leaders I know and happiest people have a different belief system about it that I shared with you. And I think you say it better than I do. So go ahead.

• 32:00Humble the Poet?

  Well, you said it to me during our last conversation on your show and and it really hit me. So a lot of anxiety comes from uncertainty. And so imagine you you're just plumped in the middle of a desert and you look around and then like east, west, north, south, all looks the same. You don't know where to go. Clearly, you're going to feel more anxious because first there's despair from not having enough options. Then having infinite options also creates analysis paralysis. Now, if somebody paved the road for you, there'd be much less anxiety because now you know which direction to go. What you had said to me, because I was talking about making the right decision. We always want to make decisions. We always want to make the right decision. You pretty much throughout and you said it as a question like, what if any decision you make was right?

• 32:44Humble the Poet?

  And it was just this, you know, especially as a full grown adult who has written three books at that time. But like, how has no one ever said those words to me? And it's always stuck with me where it's like, oh, I want to move to a new city or should I stay? And then I hear your voice and what if staying is a great idea? What if moving is a great idea? And and then I progressed in that into, you know, don't worry about making the right decision. Worry about making the decision right. And that gives you so much more control, which is like, look, we're here, let's do it. And it's, and it's something that has carried forward in life, finances, romance, even again, even in jujitsu, when you're going against someone, you know, I had a much higher belt, stopped me and said, listen, you're thinking too much.

• 33:28Humble the Poet?

  We're all gonna make mistakes, just go.

• 33:30Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 33:31Humble the Poet?

  And it's like, you know, just try stuff. I think the interesting thing that happens, and this goes back to the anxiety over us being achievers, is we forgot that life is trial and error.

• 33:41Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 33:41Humble the Poet?

  Error is not failure.

• 33:43Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 33:43Humble the Poet?

  When we were in, in, in middle school and high school, we used to do experiments. And like, you know, how much, how much baking soda do you have to mix with the vinegar to get the eruption? We didn't like pour not enough vinegar and just like fall on the floor because we felt like we were failures. Like, oops, that wasn't enough, let's try again.

• 34:00Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 34:00Humble the Poet?

  Trial, you know, Ray Dalio always says, it's not your 10,000 hours that makes you a master, it's your 10,000 trial and errors. And we are so afraid of the errors, but the errors are what paves our successes.

• 34:12Ed Mylett?

  Oh my gosh.

• 34:13Humble the Poet?

  So it's that idea, especially when you said that to me, it really stuck, which is like, look, what if they're all right? And you start to realize they are all right, because we have the ability to make them right. None of us, and this goes back to the overthinking, overthinking is believing our intuition doesn't work. What we're doing is we're assuming our intuition doesn't work because we're assuming we own a crystal ball and we just know what's gonna happen. And it's like, listen, you, you live with yourself, you are your best friend. Allow your intuition and, and the great analogy for this would be Jiminy Cricket with Pinocchio. Right? Jiminy Cricket was the intuition to Pinocchio. And even at some points, Jiminy Cricket was incorrect and got Pinocchio in trouble, but Jiminy Cricket was always on Pinocchio's team.

• 34:57Humble the Poet?

  Your intuition does not have to be perfect, but know what's on your team, trust it, follow it, because you're strengthening a relationship with yourself, which is the most important relationship you'll ever have and will decide all the relationships you have with everybody else.

• 35:10Ed Mylett?

  Bro, this is so good. I mean, I have to, I was just having a conversation a couple of weeks ago with a good friend and I said, here's what I think after 54 years, I'm pretty sure. I said, I think God speaks to your heart, where's, where your intuition lies. You can call the Holy Spirit. And I think sometimes the enemy attacks your mind. And I said, if you can just get into your heart a little bit more than just being in your head all the time, I think you'd find yourself at a lot more equanimity.

• 35:36Humble the Poet?

  Yes.

• 35:36Ed Mylett?

  Through these very stressful times, which we'll talk about in a second, the idea of equanimity. So right when you sat down, I said, we have a great mutual friend in Lewis Howes. Lewis just got married. And I said to you, hey, so were you at Lewis's wedding? And he said, no, blah, blah, blah. We were both discussing when we got invited and how we did or didn't. And, and, but I found myself the weekend of the wedding, seeing all my friends that were there, having a lot of FOMO.

• 36:00Humble the Poet?

  Yeah.

• 36:01Ed Mylett?

  I was missing out on a really cool experience and celebrating our great friend. And in the book, you discuss FOMO.

• 36:07Humble the Poet?

  Yes.

• 36:08Ed Mylett?

  I mean, I still suffer from it. And so every single person listening to the show has had some form of fear of missing out on something. I've got to get to this meeting. I, I gotta get this thing done. I missed that party, whatever it might be. You know, what, what do you say? And that creates a ton of anxiety.

• 36:22Humble the Poet?

  It definitely does create a lot of anxiety. And, and the chapter I call it, you know, trying to go from FOMO to JOMO.

• 36:27Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 36:28Humble the Poet?

  The fear of missing out to the joy of missing out. And I think, again, we have, for 50 generations, most of us were living in small communities. And rejection in a small community meant actual death. You know, if you were ostracized from your village, you were sent out and now you aren't part of the support system. You're left to fend for yourself and you will probably die in the wild. So we have this, you know, internal software that has existed in us for tens of thousands of years that says, if I'm rejected, it's death. The next step is death. We've only lived in modern society, let's say 150 years, you know, the industrial revolution,

• 37:12Humble the Poet?

  these million people cities. Now, getting any type of rejection or left out will trigger that ancient software.

• 37:22Humble the Poet?

  Right? Again, you can't, we can't train ourselves out of it. We can't. We can only recognize it. So when we see a friend's wedding and everyone except for us is at the wedding, it's going to trigger that because it's going to, it's going to remind our body, which is, oh, you're in danger. The tribe has rejected you. Right? And now it's also weaponized against us where it's like, oh, have you guys seen that new show on Netflix? Everybody's talking, you haven't, you're left out. You can't, we can't even, well, we can't even have a conversation with you at the dinner party because everybody else has seen it but you. And we don't want to spoil it for you. So please go stand in the corner. You know, there's that. There's this idea of have you read the book? Have you done all of these things? So all of these kind of ancient softwares that are in us and they're not going anywhere anytime soon. They've been

• 38:05Humble the Poet?

  weaponized against us again by very smart people paid by very rich people. So I think the, the big thing is recognizing, and I learned it, especially living in New York City now, where there is something every single day. And it was actually a 50 cent quote where he said, I had to become wealthy and, and old to realize that staying home wasn't a punishment. And that's something you start to realize is like, oh, staying home is not a punishment. Not being outside isn't a punishment. And one of the best ways I believe that we can address some of this FOMO is to go deep into figuring out our values. So I think the first thing for me would be whenever I feel envy, whenever I, I feel envious of someone, I should

• 38:49Humble the Poet?

  view that as a beautiful thing because it's revealing my values. I don't envy everything that I see. I envy very specific things. So maybe you pull up in a yellow Lamborghini, I might not get triggered with envy, but then tomorrow you speak to Rick Rubin or Ray Dalio. I'm like, oh my God, I wish I was in the room. Oh, how come Ed never called me? I would have flown over just to be in the room. You know what I mean? I feel so left out. I'm like, oh, I value that. I value that. And now let me lean into those values. Very good. Because I think so often we're spending so much time because we combine this anxious feelings around FOMO with our anxious feelings to fit in. So now we're trying to, we're putting ourselves in places that we don't even belong, just because we don't want to feel left out. Well, that's a fact.

• 39:31Humble the Poet?

  And then that's where we start getting these concepts like social anxiety. And that's where I have that quote in the book saying, you know, everybody is a social butterfly if they're in the right garden. So the anxiety that we feel around being in certain spaces is because we are in spaces that are forcing us to belong, forcing us to wear masks, forcing us to carry extra tension. But when you're in spaces where you authentically belong, there'll be significantly less anxiety. So one of the ways to go from FOMO to JOMO is focus on what you actually care about and what actually matters. Very good. And I think for me, that's really come from figuring out what I value through what I envy. And then also, and a perfect example, I live on top of a bar in New York City. I can hear the fun.

• 40:16Humble the Poet?

  And it's New York City, so you hear the fun on a Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. You hear all the fun. You hear people outside. Sometimes you'll see people dancing on the street. You're like, oh, I need to be out. I need to just be outside. I didn't even want to be at that bar, just want to be outside. The energy is there. And it's like, or I want to catch up on this movie, you know? Or I want to play fetch with my puppy. These are things that excite me. You know, I've been traveling for so many weeks, I just want to sit home and be in my space and catch up on some of these things. And I think that's the important thing when it comes to a lot of this. And this is like a Joe Dispenza idea, which is we're never going to get to the point where stuff isn't going to affect us emotionally. All we can do is shorten how long. The duration. Yeah. So it's like, you see the photos, it makes you feel some type of way.

• 41:01Humble the Poet?

  Then this is where we got to do stuff. We got to breeze through it. We got to journal it. Maybe at that point too, and I think this is the important thing that I've realized why I do this work. It's not just prescriptive, do this, do this, do this. It's also just grace. So it's like, hey, I picked up my phone. I saw an event that I didn't get a chance to go to or I wasn't invited to. I feel super left out. My voice is telling me ideas like so and so doesn't like me. These people never really liked me or whatever the stories are to, you know, to reinforce that. Okay, you know what? I got to do something just immediately to feel better. If you got to smoke a cigarette, smoke a cigarette. If you got to go turn on the TV, turn on the TV. Whatever you got to do in that moment to soothe it, by all means soothe it.

• 41:41Humble the Poet?

  But then, the next day, after a great night's sleep, after hydrating, after cuddling with your puppy, after you are optimal, you're in a great place, now voluntarily lean back into it. And say, okay, I was triggered. Triggers are an invitation. Again, with our mental health conversations, that triggers me, I gotta avoid it. They trigger me, I have to avoid it. No, triggers are not meant to be avoided. Triggers are a roadmap for what work needs to be done. You don't have to suck it up and deal with it in the moment. If you got triggered, seeing those photos in the moment, I'm not forcing you to jump into it. Soothe. Hit the snooze button if you gotta do whatever you're soothing is.

• 42:23Humble the Poet?

  Scrolling on Instagram, smoking a cigarette, watching TV, calling a friend, whatever it is. But then the next day, when the sun is shining and you're feeling good, you feel well rested. Everything is there now voluntarily lean into it voluntarily and be like, okay, let's figure out what that was. Let's go look at these pictures now. Now, maybe we got a journal about it. Let's talk about it. And you'll quickly start to learn about yourself. You'll, you'll discover data points about yourself, which is what self-awareness is. It's collecting information about yourself, noticing your patterns. When you notice your patterns, you can be kinder to yourself about it. And then you may have a conversation like, hey, yeah, I really would have wanted to be there.

• 43:07Humble the Poet?

  Or hey, I actually don't even enjoy going to weddings. I just wanted to feel, you know, I had a friend that used to always tell me she's a workaholic. And I would invite her out and you know, she wouldn't come, so I stopped inviting her out. And she said, no, no, no, no, keep inviting me. I'm gonna always say no, but it feels good to be included. I just wanna know when I see your photos later that I could have been there, but I didn't want to. And, and that was a beautiful, vulnerable moment. You know, and I think that's what is that where we have to collect all of that. So anything that ends up triggering us, whether it's a smell, whether it's a sight, whether it's a sound or a person or seeing something on social media, when it triggers us in that moment, do what you gotta do, emergency services. But then the next day, when you're feeling good, lean into it. That will build your resilience.

• 43:50Ed Mylett?

  Brother, you're right. You know what I worry about? I worry about that this show. Someone's passively listening to this and I want to say something to the audience. This is not one of these that you passively, this is such a massive thing in your life of, of dealing with this thing we call anxiety and understanding it. It's, maybe I'm speaking for me, but man, if I'd have worked on this more 20 years ago, I, you know, I would probably still have had the same level of achievement, but the ride in my body, in my journey, in my soul would have been so much better. And it's, it's such a critical thing, everybody, to really look at this. You use the term of self-awareness.

• 44:33Ed Mylett?

  I, people say, well, you get wiser as you get older. Well, hopefully what happens is you just have more self-awareness as you get older and that shows itself as wisdom. I wish someone would have grabbed me when I was in my twenties and said, just consciously be more self-aware of what you say and what you think and what you do and what your patterns are and what your triggers are. And just be more aware, for some reason, as you age, I think you just become more self-aware, at least you should, but there's no reason you can't do it when you're 18 or 22 or 24. And this awareness, a lot of this stuff can be fixed by just being aware of it and beginning to deal with it. Just don't passively listen, guys, on this one, okay? Actively engage here.

• 45:16Ed Mylett?

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• 46:01Ed Mylett?

  Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com/ed for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q U I N C E dot com slash ed. So you know, I've been trying to take my health and my morning routine to the next level. And I used to do a whole bunch of different stuff, tons of different supplements. And then I found all in one in a drink with IM8. IM8 is the way to simplify your supplement routine, finally, once and for all. 16 supplements replaced 90 ingredients across nine major organ systems in one drink. You can have all these supplements for $2.61 a day. I've changed my mornings. The whole IM8 routine has changed my mornings.

• 46:44Ed Mylett?

  I feel great and I bring energy to the entire day. Go to IM8health.com/Ed10 right now, or click the link in the description and use code ED10 for a free welcome kit, five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. That's code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. Code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. You talk in the book about conflict a lot and triggers. So there are things that trigger us negatively. I have a couple of triggers that I actually use to deal with anxiety. I want to know if you believe in that as well.

• 47:29Ed Mylett?

  So like you mentioned dogs earlier. This seems really kind of crazy for me to say, but like I have these three little palm ratings that you've met, Rose, Lily, and Daisy. I'm telling you, something about walking into a room and having them come up to daddy and want to be pet and want to sit in my lap. It's, here's what it, it changes my whole perspective. First off, they don't care if I made $100 million or where we live, but something about their life and that what they don't worry about. I don't, I don't want to be a dog, is what I'm saying, but I'm saying they trigger me into a state, not just of equanimity, but of actually like perspective, perspective, right? And I wonder if you believe someone should be fighting, but this isn't a healthy thing

• 48:14Ed Mylett?

  I do, but you just light up a cigar with one of my buddies and just that's like. Everything in the world's gonna be alright.

• 48:21Humble the Poet?

  Yeah.

• 48:21Ed Mylett?

  You know what I mean? I got a few of those things, working out and training.

• 48:24Humble the Poet?

  Yeah.

• 48:25Ed Mylett?

  Do you believe in building the triggers that can get you out of anxiety as well?

• 48:28Humble the Poet?

  Absolutely. So I think, you know, so one of the other things about the book that I think is really important is on the inside, I have these definitions.

• 48:35Ed Mylett?

  Yes, right on the first page on the hard book.

• 48:37Humble the Poet?

  Triggers are things that remind us of the past. And then I said often linked to earlier threats, which can set off anxiety. So the thing is, we're chasing feelings. We're always chasing feelings. So what we generally say is like, oh, like, you know, again, maybe we see a friend having a wedding that we're not at. It may trigger a feeling that we had in elementary school. We didn't get picked for a team, but we got left out at that point. And that is an unresolved feeling that we have. So this is reminding us of that. And it goes positive too, which is like a certain smell.

• 49:08Ed Mylett?

  Song.

• 49:09Humble the Poet?

  Certain song, all of this nostalgia. And again, this is also weaponized against us. You see it, watch Stranger Things, it's all eighties nostalgia. They're purposely trying to positively trigger us. And I think, again, going back to this idea of self-awareness, what you're asking to do is observe yourself. That's also my definition of surrender. Again, a lot of us want to be in control. And it's like, no, no, we need to surrender. And by surrendering, I don't mean to throw your hands up and just let things play out. I'm saying just take a step back and watch what's happening. Watch what's happening, not with judgment, with curiosity. Right? Because again, as I'm gonna say this, curiosity is courage in disguise. Judgment is the language of fear.

• 49:53Humble the Poet?

  You can't be curious and judgmental at the same time. So just observe these things as they come. So now if you're like, look, a sunny afternoon with a cigar, with a buddy, this triggers memories of a past that feel good, which I've done enough where my body, just my shoulders drop. Everything is there by all means.

• 50:14Humble the Poet?

  What you're doing is you're understanding your relationship with triggers, which is this reminds me of past situations that make me feel something. There's gonna be stuff that makes you feel ways that you want to, like that, like the dogs. And this is gonna be stuff that makes you not want to feel like that, like seeing stuff on social media, like having a certain conversation. I, you know, perfect example is I have a dog as well. She's my second dog. My first dog was a German shepherd. He lived out his life naturally, but the last couple of months, he lost the use of his legs. German shepherds historically have hip issues. And, you know, I have visual memories of when his legs just started to give out. They started to slip. Fast forward, you know, years, because I got my new puppy 10 years after.

• 50:57Humble the Poet?

  Once she was walking on some concrete and I just saw her slip a little, just her back leg slipped, just casually, and she kept walking, but it was a visual trigger. Fast forward again, I had to put my dog to sleep, you know, back when he had to go to sleep. One of my biggest regrets in my life, because I wasn't aware that I should have brought a vet to the house. I didn't know that was an option. Took him to the vet. Cold steel table, put him on, he's looking at me, he's crying. We give him the needle, just, you know, embedded in my brain. Obviously, my brain, to protect me, puts it in the back. So we don't see it anymore. A lot of our, you know, trauma is these negative experiences you don't see coming.

• 51:39Humble the Poet?

  It's not just a negative experience, it's a negative experience that you didn't see coming and didn't expect to happen. And it kind of tattoos itself into the back of your mind. Fast forward to get this new puppy, get it during the pandemic. The first year of vet appointments was leaving her at the door, you know, just leaving the leash at the door. Fast forward, I moved to Los Angeles with her, walk into a vet's office, see the table. My body, my body instantly shivers. And it's like, that was a trigger. Now, again, I'm like, okay, this is a trigger. I understand what a trigger. It also represents one of my biggest regrets, even though, as I said, I didn't know what I didn't know. Logically, I can tell myself that my body still has to deal with it. So I had to repeatedly

• 52:22Humble the Poet?

  go into that office, repeatedly stare at the table, and it goes down maybe by one or two percent each trip. I'm not, you don't solve it by facing it once. I think when we watch the movies, the Disney films.

• 52:32Ed Mylett?

  It's fixed.

• 52:33Humble the Poet?

  Yeah, they face the fear and now they're fearless. It's like, no, it's gonna take a lot of practice, a lot of repetition. And I think it goes back the same way. Reinforce the triggers that make you feel great.

• 52:43Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 52:44Humble the Poet?

  And address and face the triggers that don't make you feel so good, because they're teaching you about yourself. Instead of designing a life to avoid it, do not design a life to avoid triggers, do not design a life to avoid hard things, because A, it doesn't work. Hard things will find us. Please remember 2020, everybody. It might have been the greatest gift we were given, but also prepare yourself for these types of things. You know, when we prepare ourselves for challenges, we're better equipped when challenges find us. It's like, you go to the gym so you can help a friend move a couch. If the first time you lift something heavy is helping that friend move a couch, you're going to get hurt. If the first time you do some heavy mental health lifting is when life hits you, you're going

• 53:27Humble the Poet?

  to get hurt. That's what trauma is. So definitely lean into your positive triggers. Definitely face the negative triggers when you're in a good place.

• 53:36Ed Mylett?

  Right. After you've done your cleanup of your.

• 53:38Humble the Poet?

  Yeah, please, yeah. Don't suck it up. I'm not here to advocate suck it up.

• 53:41Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, but the big thing you're not doing is try to have a life where you avoid anxiety, which is an absolutely ridiculous notion.

• 53:47Humble the Poet?

  Yes, it's a map. It's showing you where all the work needs to be done. Pay attention to it. You don't have to do it immediately, but once you, you're like, oh, that made me feel some sort of way, that needs to get revisited.

• 53:58Ed Mylett?

  The point you made earlier about envy is really true. Mel and I were talking about that. She goes, you know, a lot of times when I'm jealous, she goes, I really pay attention to my jealousy because it tells me it's something that's a priority for me. And you said something very similar with envy. I gotta tell you, you're such a good storyteller. I felt in my heart, right, looking into your eyes where you're describing that table and the needle going into your, your precious dog. I could feel it and.

• 54:20Ed Mylett?

  You're an awesome soul, bro. You affect me. You truly affect me. We're gonna go through two more questions, guys, because I told you we go a little long, because this is my dude here. Overall framework that I just think is worth everybody, just, okay, I gotta leave with a takeaway or two. You discuss, this is so huge, as a business person, as a human, as a, if you're in a romantic relationship, a friendship, when conflict arises, you talk in the book about before conflict, during conflict, and after. But you, I want to tie this all together and throw it at you, let you do what you want with it. You also talk about responsive versus reactive. And that's, to me, like, maybe more than anything, kind of like the idea of dealing with anxiety and

• 55:04Ed Mylett?

  unanxiating yourself in the book. So through that all at you, give me something back.

• 55:08Humble the Poet?

  Yeah, so we are always going to react before we respond. We are always going to react before we respond.

• 55:14Ed Mylett?

  I don't think most people know the difference.

• 55:16Humble the Poet?

  So reaction is going to be the involuntary reaction that your body's been trained to. If you think about it, most of the trauma that we experience happened in childhood, right? And using our child brains, we just tried to figure out how to navigate it and deal with it. And then those turned into habits. And those habits and that software really was never upgraded, as we had more tools, more access, more sovereignty, freedom, and understanding of ourselves. So it was like, oh, you know, dad came home from work and I showed dad a piece of my work and dad just kind of brushed me off and went into his room. I, my body told me, don't ever show him your work anymore. Don't show anybody your work. Stop showing off, right? And then as an adult, you

• 56:01Humble the Poet?

  get this context, he's probably having a bad day at work, right? Or, you know, in my case, you know, he, he only understands, put food on the table, keep you alive. That was the contract he signed for. He didn't even, he doesn't even know there's an emotional component to this. Because he grew up in a village without electricity until he was 13, right? So it's like, but that context is there, but I haven't changed my habits because of that. So I think, you know, so these habits turn into our reactions. So let's say you're driving. In your car and then somebody cuts you off immediately. You have this reaction, hit the horn, throw up a middle finger, scream, you have, you have this. That's always going to be the case because this is our amygdala, our survival brain immediately having a reaction. What we need to do is we need

• 56:45Humble the Poet?

  to shorten how long that reaction happens and get into response, which is I choose what I'm going to do next. You know, I'm this is not no longer a knee jerk reaction. This is no longer impulsive. Think about how often impulsively we just grab our phones. That's a reaction. A response has been like, wait, I shouldn't have this in my hand. Put it back down. Right. For me, what helped a lot, either cold showers or going into ice because when I go in, my body immediately screams, let's get out, we're gonna die, we gotta get out, we're gonna die. And if you can force yourself to stay in long enough, then all of a sudden your body starts to calm down. So let's say if I'm in

• 57:27Humble the Poet?

  for two minutes, for 90 seconds, my body's screaming, we need to get out. For the last 30 seconds, my body's like, hey, maybe this isn't so bad. The work I'm doing isn't to stay in longer. The work I'm doing is to shorten how long my body's freaking out. You know, you want to get in there for 10 seconds, let the body scream and be like, let's do it. And most of the time, the secret here, and this is a really secret thing that I'm going to give away today. The secret to all of this is called breathing. You inhale and you exhale. I don't care how long you inhale or exhale. There's no secret to breathing. Just the deeper we breathe, the more regulated we become. The goal here isn't to be, and we're going to talk about equanimity, but the goal here isn't

• 58:07Humble the Poet?

  to be calm for everything. The goal here is to be prepared. And whatever emotion is needed is needed. Fight or flight isn't the enemy. Sometimes we do have to fight. Sometimes we do have to fly. It shouldn't get triggered when you have an awkward email or a text message. It should get triggered if a bear attacks your dog. It should definitely. So the idea here is to have a managed, you know, nervous system and emotional regulated system. And that comes from practicing whenever we do have these reactions, how quickly can I shorten this? How quickly can I breathe through this? And now allowing my logical brain. So what I, what I do is our amygdala is our, is the size of an almond. That's our survival brain. And then our prefrontal cortex is our logical

• 58:50Humble the Poet?

  brain. Our prefrontal cortex does not get to hold the steering wheel. The amygdala, our survival brain is always holding the steering wheel. How quickly can we kindly take it off the steering wheel and say, like, we got this? It's okay. Yeah, someone cut us off. It's fine. We're gonna slow down. We're gonna breeze through this. And it's in every day-to-day situation that we have. Again, things will catch us off-guard, things that won't catch us off-guard. It's one of those things where, and the more you practice it, the better, you know? Moving to New York City, just, you know, it's a circus of a city. You will see things you've never seen before at least three times a week. I'm constantly being tested, my reaction. And just when I think I got it all, you know, something new happens.

• 59:33Humble the Poet?

  I love the practice. I love the practice. And then the longer you're there, you start to realize how you get a little bit used to it. And then I move to, you know, then I come visit you in a much slower city and it becomes very evident, you know? Just trying to get a coffee and it's like, oh, I have become a New Yorker. And it's just, you realize the things you practice is the things that you become. And all it is, when we were kids, our body didn't know everything, but it tried its best. We're not victims of those habits. Our body will always try to protect us, but now let's work with our body. I love to use the analogy that anxiety is the smoke alarm from your smoke detector.

• 1:00:16Humble the Poet?

  And we've just been taught to go up there and rip it off the wall and take out the battery. And I'm gonna say, because it's annoying and it hurts our ears. And I'm gonna say, or let's look for the smoke. Because if we address the smoke, the alarm won't go off as often. And resilience that we're building, resilience, and I think this is the important thing that even I had to remind myself even last night. Resilience feels like, I don't want to do this. I don't want to be here. This is uncomfortable. It's just like a workout. It's gotta be uncomfortable for it to give value. Building resilience and having to be resilient, it's not a, a courage feels like fear.

• 1:01:04Humble the Poet?

  Right? That's the only time you're being brave is when you're facing a fear. You must feel the fear. People who are doing things without fear aren't being courageous. And I think this is the important thing. It has to be difficult. It has to be uncomfortable. That is the recipe for our growth, not only physically, but emotionally, spiritually, mentally, financially, everything.

• 1:01:26Ed Mylett?

  I'm listening. I think I've gone hmm hmm about 800 times, more than maybe any interview I've done because I'm, I'm agreeing, but it's taking me aback when I'm listening. Um, I think I've said hmm, probably not going to sound very good on the audio, but I've catching myself the entire time you're talking. It happened the last time that we talked on the show too. And sometimes in our, you know, our text exchanges, I've taken a lot away. I'm going to ask you about equanimity next. Stay in for this last question, you guys.

• 1:01:55Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Good times mean competitions between you and your friends, like seeing who can throw some pigskin the farthest or rush the field the fastest. Winner gets an ultra because it's not just a superior light beer. It's also giving fans superior access to their favorite sporting events. Superior is worth playing for. Visit michelobultra.com/superioraccess to enter. Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2026 Anheuser Busch InBev Michelob Ultra Beer, St. Louis, Missouri.

• 1:02:24Ed Mylett?

  I think my takeaway, more than anything, is that I am in training about this. I'm not going to solve it. And that I, this duration shrinkage is what I'm really after. That when I feel the reaction, that the duration until I respond, or I find equanimity, or I am making my choice shrinks. Because like this thing that was bothering me last night, it would have been bothering me for about three days. It would have been cool if that was about three hours. Right? I mean, I could have already been on to the solution phase by now and rid my body of the inflammation, rid my body of my elevated heart rate, my elevated blood pressure. And guys, you know, a lot of you know about my health issues. I'm convinced that a lot of it has just been this internalization most of my life of anxiety and worry that contributes to

• 1:03:07Ed Mylett?

  the anxiety and it has affected my physical health. Eventually you can't carry these things so long in your body with high cortisol levels and you're you just can't. You've got to be able to it's not what you said today that I love that is for me is it's not about never carrying it. It's about the duration you gotta carry. I can carry a 50 pound dumbbell to that wall over there. I can't carry it 60 miles and that's the difference for me. I almost wish I said that earlier in the interview because it's profound. I sometimes think I either have anxiety or I don't. That's not the case.

• 1:03:41Humble the Poet?

  Yeah, definitely not.

• 1:03:42Ed Mylett?

  Okay, there's a word called equanimity that I think in most self-help books, words repeat themselves. Trauma, patterns, triggers, anchors, right? These words repeat. Peace, right? Word not used a lot that most people aren't even familiar with is equanimity. There's it's in a few books and ironically, it's in my book. I have a chapter on that term and that word and so do you. And I just want to know what it means to you. How does one find that? My definition, I'll give it is peace under duress, just similar to what you write in the book. Just talk about equanimity for a second. I think if you don't know the concept, you can't have it.

• 1:04:18Humble the Poet?

  Yeah, absolutely. So I think one of the things, you know, this being my fourth book, you know, this is also a journey for me and this is inspired by anxious feelings I was having, right? And probably the biggest anxious feeling I was having was when the last book came out, just reaching out to people to ask for help. And it got so bad where it's like even friends, perfect example, our mutual friend Jay Shetty, who constantly would be like, oh, is your book done yet? Let me know so I can get you on the pod. He'll say those things to me and then I'll still have anxiety around texting him to ask to get on it. And because the voices in my head will tell me different stories as to why I'm not deserving. Oh, you know, he just had so and so on there. You don't deserve to be on there. And I was like, I need to be able to address this. And probably in my head at some point, I'm like, yeah, because I want to achieve inner peace.

• 1:05:03Humble the Poet?

  And I know, and, and trust me, and you know, even when you look at the cover of this book and you see my long flowing beard, I know some people get into my stuff because I represent what they believe spirituality.

• 1:05:15Humble the Poet?

  And that's why I have the whole chapter about the man on the mountain, you know, meditating and asking people for their social security number and their mom's maiden name and trade for inner peace. I, I, I am not lost on this idea. And what I, what I started to realize is especially if we just think eastern and western philosophy, you know, I'm, I'm, my family's, even though I was born here, my family's from the east. And eastern philosophy is a circle and western philosophy is a straight line. So western philosophy, when you think about like Christianity, for example, is like, do this, do this, do this. And at the end, there's a reward or a punishment, heaven, hell. Eastern philosophy is like, everything is a cycle. So, you know, so now when you think about the wellness space, there's a lot of, hey, I was really messed up. And then I learned all this stuff and now I'm not messed up.

• 1:05:58Humble the Poet?

  And for like three easy payments of nine ninety five, you can learn how not to be messed up too. And it's like where someone like me will be like, look, I was messed up and I learned some stuff and I'm sharing that with you. I'm still messed up, but now we can talk about being messed up together. And the stuff that used to mess me up, isn't the stuff anymore. Now I've discovered new stuff. It's the different levels.

• 1:06:17Ed Mylett?

  You just literally defined my reality and what I do. Exactly.

• 1:06:20Humble the Poet?

  Absolutely. And it's like the things that may have caused a panic attack last year. I've addressed them. That doesn't mean something new isn't going to find me. And this will be an ongoing marathon until I breathe my last breath and I'm okay with that. So you started to realize people are chasing these ideas of like everlasting happiness, happily ever after, inner peace. These ideas don't exist. What can exist is equanimity, which is a very prepared and regulated emotional nervous system that is ready to handle the things that it needs to handle. And it doesn't fly off to handle the second a small thing happens. It, it gives a measured response to what needs to be.

• 1:07:03Humble the Poet?

  You know, it doesn't bite when it just needs to growl. You know, it doesn't lose, you know, they say never make a promise, you know, when you're really happy or really sad. If our emotions can go either way, it can really cause issues where we're not being ourselves and we're just, we're in back into reactionary mode. You know, I'm, I'm from Toronto. I, I was in junior school when the Toronto Raptors were announced. You know, I entered the contest to draw the logo. I was a little kid. Fast forward to 2019, I'm at the finals and they win. I am having an animalistic, I am letting loose. I am, that, that is not equanimity. I am going bananas, but it's in a safe environment and it's socially accepted and it's completely fine.

• 1:07:46Humble the Poet?

  But you can still, you know, you can still lose your, your mind being happy, just as you can, you know, being upset. So I think equanimity really for me is being more prepared to handle things. And it's kind of like, if, if you go really high and really low, how can we taper this off? And I understand the idea of that it could potentially be boring. Um, but I think that's where we can, when we deal with our resilience, when we train ourselves, we put ourselves in scarier situations. We put ourselves in happier situations. And I think what equanimity also taught me was, oh, I'm not really chase, you know, I'm chasing feelings. I'm not chasing things. But you know, the feeling that I really want to chase is not even like happiness, because that's really just probably a lot of dopamine.

• 1:08:31Humble the Poet?

  I'm chasing joy.

• 1:08:34Humble the Poet?

  And joy, I start to realize joy isn't the, oh, announcement that got New York Times bestseller. But joy may be having enough money that on a Wednesday afternoon at 1:00 PM, I could just be bothering my puppy, you know, chewing on her ear and not have to be at work stressing about something. And I think, you know, these are the simple moments of joy and all of us, especially those listening, go back to your memories of joy. Very few of them require you to do, be, or achieve anything. And I think with our, with our emotions is, you know, let's not, let's abandon these ideas that we potentially saw on TV or in the films where somebody's just sitting there, meditating on a hill and they, they figured it all out. It's like, no, we, we live in this

• 1:09:18Humble the Poet?

  world. This world is not designed for who we are anymore. It's not. So it's going to be challenged. You know, taking us back to the biggest idea that feeling anxious isn't a weakness. We're not here to fix anxiety because we're not broken. And equanimity is to say, look, we're going to improve our relationship with this emotion that is the most misunderstood. Cause currently, we call it an identity, I'm anxious. She's, you know, I remember hanging out with this couple and the wife said, you know, definitely send me your book because I'm so anxious. He has no anxiety. And she points to her husband and her husband's like, what are you talking about? I'm anxious all the time. And it's just like, you can see a disconnect even in a house. And what, what I realized about

• 1:10:03Humble the Poet?

  this, why is this such an important conversation? This is the biggest problem impacting us as a species that thankfully hasn't turned political. You know, we are all dealing with this. We all have anxious feelings towards what we don't know is going to happen tomorrow. Whether it's our grocery prices, whether it's a sick family member, whether it's our own health, whether it's the state of the world, whatever it may be, we all feel this. And I think it's really important because as we all get closer to more equanimity, as we all have a better relationship with our emotions and we can own our actions because they weren't reactions, they were responses, the world will become a better place. The

• 1:10:44Humble the Poet?

  world will be more empathetic. The world will feel better. We will see the value in helping others. And we will, because one of the biggest things that is happening in the current structure of our world is this encouraging hyper-independence. You know, we're all just living in little sock drawers of apartments, you know, and it's us against the world, or us and our partner against the world. And everyone is isolated when again, we're from communities. We're meant to be communities, you know, open courtyards where we all come and join and spend time. I, I cite the research where it's like, you know, the amount of lanes on the street you live in decides how often you cross the street, decides if you even know your neighbor.

• 1:11:28Humble the Poet?

  And think about when you do know your neighbors, when you, when you do have this form of community, how much better you start to feel. Community is so important. It's the anecdote for a lot, sorry, the antidote for a lot of the anxious feelings that we have is our unity. And we are so divided, and I'm not even talking about like beliefs and politics. I'm just talking about physically. We don't have, the, the third space has disappeared. You know, I've talked about that. We have our work, we have our home, and there used to be a third space, whether it was the church, whether it was the bar. And over time, less people go to the church, over time, less people go to the bar. But we've, we're starting to use the phone as our third space. And it's given us this fast food version of connection. We're not establishing real

• 1:12:10Humble the Poet?

  connection because real connection requires vulnerability. And the one place that you are not safe to be vulnerable is online. Me and you having a conversation, looking each other in the eyes, sharing things that I regret, sharing things that you're, you're dealing with challenges, that is paving our connection and making it deeper. That needs to happen a lot more. And as that happens, we start to feel that we're less alone. Again, when we feel like we're alone, that increases our despair. It means we have less hope. One of my friends just called me one day and said, I have a new rule. I will not cry alone. So, which means you will not cry alone. If you need to cry, call me. If I need to cry, call me. That's it. Not even why, just, that's the rule now. There is no crying alone. And

• 1:12:54Humble the Poet?

  it's just this understanding of community. We need each other. And there's a chapter in the book says, there's no such thing as being too needy. There's no such thing as being, again, we have all these stories that have been told to us, like, you're too needy. No, there's not, if you need something, you need it. And if you're not getting it and you're expressing that, somebody is dismissing you as needy, that's not the person you gotta be around. Other people will not make you feel bad for having needs. We need each other like we need water. We really, really, really need.

• 1:13:26Ed Mylett?

  I really hope everyone stayed for the end. If you did, let me know because that's my favorite part. Let me just say something to you. You're a light and I think you are actually a little bit of a trigger for equanimity for me. I love being around you. Instantly, when we met the first time, I told you this when you walked in today, I said, I'm gonna know this dude forever. And I just think you're a light in the world and the very end there for me. Please, everybody, hope you stayed to the end because it was so incredible. This whole conversation was stellar. We're not editing a word out of it. I'm letting every single word of this come out. Everyone, that was Humble the Poet that you just listened to and he's not gonna be on social forever, as you heard. So the best thing you can do is go get Unanxious, his new book.

• 1:14:08Humble the Poet?

  And can I, can I let them know?

• 1:14:09Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I think this is a great concept right here to build community.

• 1:14:12Humble the Poet?

  Yes, to build community. So I was, I get a lot of messages and people are like, you know, what's the level of reading? So I wrote the book at a grade six reading level.

• 1:14:20Ed Mylett?

  By the way, it's also written in such a way that every page, most pages, there's like a highlighted part of it that stands out as well. I loved that.

• 1:14:26Humble the Poet?

  You don't have to read the book in order. It's, yeah, it's written at a grade six reading level. So if you have kids and you want them to read it, most definitely they can read it. The thing that I realize is, you know, I get mothers saying, oh, I want my daughter to read this. And you hand your daughter the book and she doesn't read it. The same way if somebody hands me a book, I'm less likely to read it. So what I'm encouraging is get two copies and read it with them. You know, so right now the subtitle says 50 Simple Truths, which means this has 50 chapters. The book actually has 52 chapters. The, the opening chapter is chapter zero, the closing chapter is chapter infinity. So there's 52 chapters. Every chapter is only two or three pages. This is what I highly recommend and just even imagine it for a second.

• 1:15:06Humble the Poet?

  You and a person you care about, read one chapter a week together on FaceTime, in person, over Zoom. If it's a friend far away, figure it out, but read it together, maybe even quietly, and then talk about it. Imagine doing that once a week for a whole year, 52, 52 chapters, 52 weeks in a year. Where do you think your relationship with that person is going to be?

• 1:15:29Ed Mylett?

  It's awesome.

• 1:15:30Humble the Poet?

  Please, like, instead of getting this for someone who you think is dealing with anxiety. A friend of mine, oh, my daughter is dealing with so much anxiety. I'm like, you can't talk about anxiety like it's lice.

• 1:15:41Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:42Humble the Poet?

  Anxiety is not lice, it's not dandruff, it's not herpes, it's not a condition that people need to solve. It's a normal. Signal in our body like hunger. And the same way that we, we don't say to ourselves, I just ate five hours ago. Why am I hungry again? What's wrong with me?

• 1:15:58Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 1:15:58Humble the Poet?

  We get it. It's a signal letting us know it's time for more calories. It's anxiety is a signal letting us know. And what we want to do is we want to improve our relationship. And especially if you have someone that you care about, that you feel is struggling in this department, doing it together, that will by default, add so many more options and you guys are sharing your earned wisdom. This is the thing. If, if you're doing this for your child, they have, they're living in a world that you didn't grow up in. They can share earned wisdom from the world they're from. You can share wisdom that you have. If you're doing this with your spouse, you're doing this with a sibling, you're doing this with your parents. Having this together, community is so important. This is a way to build that bond. And to make sure you actually read the book, you have an accountability buddy.

• 1:16:42Humble the Poet?

  It's like going to the gym with a friend. An accountability buddy will make sure you do it. And then you've accomplished the book. This, this, this isn't a race. I'm not writing a book for a while. You can spend a whole year with this book. And I'm excited to see where you and that other person end up a year from now.

• 1:16:57Ed Mylett?

  It's great advice, brother. Remarkable conversation today, everyone. Hope you get it and I hope you share this episode. God bless you. Max out your life.