The Death Defying Duper Mark Olmsted w/ Jamie Loftus (Re-Release)

CONgregation, in today’s Cinco de Mayo episode, we’re revisiting Episode Five, where Laci was joined by comedian, Emmy-nominated writer, and podcaster Jamie Loftus (The Bechdel Cast, Robot Chicken). They dive into the many curious cons of Mark Olmsted, a man on the brink of death who became a death certificate–forging, credit card–stealing insurance fraudster. Stay schemin’! (Originally Released 10/28/2019) Keep the scams coming and snitch on your friends by emailing us at [email protected]. Follow on Instagram: Scam Goddess Pod: @scamgoddesspod Laci Mosley: @divalaci Jamie Loftus: @jamiechristsuperstar Research by Sharilyn Vera SOURCES https://www.gq.com/story/the-man-who-wouldnt-die https://www.newser.com/story/275416/he-thought-hed-die-so-he-began-a-con-he-didnt-die.html

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

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• 2:18Laci Mosley?

  Oh my god. Well, hi, guys. Welcome back to Scam Goddess. This is a pod dedicated to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week, we break down famous scams and capers and bring on hilarious comedians to tell us about their own relationships with scams as well. And today, I'm so honored to have the Jamie Loftus. Actor, stand-up, one-woman performer, everything in front of me. Thank you so much for doing the show.

• 2:49Speaker 00

  Of course. I'm so excited.

• 2:51Laci Mosley?

  Yes. Yes. I'm a big fan of Jamie. I love doing. She has a podcast called The Backdoor Cast, which I guess you could plug later, but I'm already plugging it up top.

• 3:00Speaker 00

  The most beloved guest on that show.

• 3:02Laci Mosley?

  It's so good. I love that show so much. Well, let's get into it, Jamie. We'll start with what's hot in fraud. So what's hot in fraud is a segment where we warn our listeners about popular scams. If you want to warn us or tell us about a scam that you have experienced in your life, please email us at [email protected]. We'd love to share it on the show. All right. So we're going to start with what's hot in fraud. So this is a segment where we regale our listeners with the hottest, newest scams, you know, to protect them from getting scammed. We only want our listeners doing our scams.

• 3:38Speaker 00

  Right. And we fully support those.

• 3:41Laci Mosley?

  If we call you, it's legitimate.

• 3:43Speaker 00

  It's right, because we care. And, you know, I think that podcasters really form this false sense of trust with the people that listen to them. And that's why podcasters are such great scammers.

• 3:53Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, but a podcast, podcasts are scams, so enjoy. This scam came from me on Twitter, and I'll just read what he wrote. Somebody called me with this phone number. I'm not going to say the phone number, because I want that guy to keep scamming.

• 4:07Laci Mosley?

  Telling me he was doing some registration online and he mistakenly put my number on what he was registering. He said that my number is similar to his number and that the password of what he was registering was sent to my phone. He was actually now appealing to me to give him a reset code that was actually sent to my phone so that he could finish his registration. I got online to find out more, only to discover that he was actually trying to reset my bank online Yahoo Mail password and that he's a fraudster. Okay, so one, I just want to say, sir, why are you operating on Yahoo Mail?

• 4:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, that's honestly, not to say he's asking for it by stopping on Yahoo Mail.

• 4:48Laci Mosley?

  Yahoo Mail is for scams.

• 4:49Speaker 00

  That's a red flag, yeah.

• 4:50Laci Mosley?

  Literally. Like, you use Yahoo Mail when you go to a clothing store and they're like, "We'll give you 10% off if you give us an email."

• 4:56Speaker 00

  You shouldn't still be using your first email ever. You gotta, you gotta, I still have my, I have, if you ever want to email me and not, and I won't see it, you should email [email protected]. That's where all the scams go for me.

• 5:11Laci Mosley?

  I see that and I raise you [email protected].

• 5:16Speaker 00

  Love it. Oh, you got the high school graduation year in there? It's a classic.

• 5:21Laci Mosley?

  And the lil, it was all, everyone was like lil back then. Like, my cousin has an email that was lilblue2007. It was all about what year you were graduating and lil.

• 5:31Speaker 00

  And what you were a lil version of.

• 5:32Laci Mosley?

  Exactly. He was a lil version of the color blue. And I was a lil chica bonita. Yes, I called myself beautiful in my own email. It was like, email me at beautifullittlegirl.com.

• 5:46Speaker 00

  Beautiful little girl graduating not yet.

• 5:49Laci Mosley?

  Maybe I should, like, look into that. I want to see what kind of emails beautiful little girl is getting. Probably not good ones.

• 5:55Speaker 00

  I feel like that is like an email you would guess to send a scam to.

• 5:59Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 6:01Laci Mosley?

  Also, like, this, this intrigued me, because I guess, like, anyone calling you with like, any kind of elaborate story about how they need information from you is always a scam.

• 6:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's, but I feel like they target people, and I like, I've, I've come close to falling for it. I've never gone so far as to like, give them any info.

• 6:20Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 6:20Speaker 00

  But like, when they sound like, "Hey, it would be really helpful if," I, I am automatically like, I don't want to disappoint anyone.

• 6:27Laci Mosley?

  So you're like, an empath for scams?

• 6:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:29Laci Mosley?

  Because there's different types. Because for me, I'm an incentive scammer. So if you call me and you're like, "Oh, you know, I'm about to wire you this, this money. All I need is the taxes and fees." Like, I'm more apt to do that scam than I am like, "Can you help me out, blah, blah, blah." I'm like, "Nah, fuck you. What am I getting out of this?"

• 6:45Speaker 00

  I fall for like, the Nigerian prince scams. I'm just like, I need, I, I, it would be so helpful if you, I'd be so, I, a stranger, would be so disappointed in you. I'm like, "No!"

• 6:56Laci Mosley?

  No, I need this stranger. I need this stranger to like me. Yeah, see, and I guess, like, and it's cool to kind of figure out the different strategies. Because there are people who, I think you're a worse scammer if you're appealing to people's good nature. I think that's more fucked up.

• 7:11Speaker 00

  I bet, yeah, it's more fucked up, and I bet less effective, too.

• 7:15Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, I would think so too, but at the same time, people like to be liked. This scam is probably working for him. He's definitely resetting mad Yahoo accounts. With, with, what do you do with that?

• 7:25Speaker 00

  Do you think it's like, the Yahoo people specifically he is targeting? Or is it like, I guess, I'm like, how does he, how do you get something like this off the ground? I have to admire it.

• 7:36Laci Mosley?

  Maybe he's like, "Okay, once I get into your email, then I'll get, like, more information about you, and then I'll use that."

• 7:43Speaker 00

  And then you just reset everything.

• 7:45Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 7:45Speaker 00

  Right, right.

• 7:46Laci Mosley?

  Because when you have an email, then you can really reset your whole life. That's the crazy thing, is like, Google is the biggest scam. My Google fucking crashed my Gmail, because someone from BuzzFeed sent me a spam email and I opened it. And then it sent out a spam email to everyone in my, like, email account. And they froze my account, and my life fell apart. And I was like, "Oh, my God, I've given so much power to Google." Like, my calendar stopped working. I was like, "Where do I be? What do I do? Who am I?"

• 8:12Speaker 00

  You like, lose access to your bank, right?

• 8:14Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, couldn't send any emails, couldn't tell anybody that I was off the grid. It was like, I had a full-on, like, meltdown, like, panic attack.

• 8:21Speaker 00

  I think if that happened to me, I would just start over.

• 8:24Laci Mosley?

  In a new city.

• 8:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:27Speaker 00

  All right.

• 8:28Laci Mosley?

  I get a stick and a bandana and I pack all my belongings in it.

• 8:32Speaker 00

  I would just leave.

• 8:34Laci Mosley?

  Just fucking skip town. You're right, you're right. I think that's what you have to do when your email shuts down. It's like, all right, I quit.

• 8:41Speaker 00

  All right, I've been canceled for some reason and I'll move on.

• 8:44Laci Mosley?

  It's been good, America. Not that good, but okay. Now I'm leaving the country. But yeah, so that's interesting to me that like, this is one of those like, can you help me out type scams? I am very not likely to fall for those.

• 8:57Speaker 00

  You would hang up?

• 8:58Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. Although if, guys, if I call you and I need your help, like, I really care.

• 9:02Speaker 00

  Oh, she's, she needs that, yeah.

• 9:04Laci Mosley?

  So help me out and give me your social security number.

• 9:06Speaker 00

  I've already done it.

• 9:07Laci Mosley?

  And your Yahoo password. Yes, Jamie, I told Jamie to do this show, like, she needed to give me her social security.

• 9:12Speaker 00

  Or she wouldn't like me anymore. And I was like, yeah, I'll do it.

• 9:14Laci Mosley?

  That was all, the only payment was my like and approval.

• 9:17Speaker 00

  Yep. I'll take it.

• 9:19Laci Mosley?

  Yo, so Jamie, uh, what, what is your relationship with scams? Have you ever been scammed? Have you ever been involved in a scam? You don't have to talk about any current scams that you have going, but.

• 9:29Speaker 00

  Oh, no, just, just retired scams at this point. Uh, there is a scam that I sort of fell for. I don't know, it got murky. But I, for the past year, I've been interacting a lot with the Mensa.

• 9:42Laci Mosley?

  Yes, I love your Mensa. They're mean people.

• 9:46Speaker 00

  They're mean spirited people.

• 9:48Laci Mosley?

  They're so fucking mean.

• 9:49Speaker 00

  Like, and it kind of goes without saying that a high IQ society, that you need to pay eighty dollars to join.

• 9:56Laci Mosley?

  Oh, snobby.

• 9:57Speaker 00

  Is a scam.

• 9:57Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 9:58Speaker 00

  Uh, but it's also like, it's, so that's the one I just sort of, I just had to sympathize with them. Cause it was, it just like, I, I joined as like a joke for this piece I was writing and they were, they were like, we'll pay the fee. Just like, go and see what they're like and stuff. And they were like, they, they were so.

• 10:17Laci Mosley?

  She's like, I joined Mensa just to write a piece. They don't let you into Mensa because you pay a fee. You have to be a genius. I'm sitting with a genius.

• 10:25Speaker 00

  No, well, that's the thing is, I think that even the testing is a scam. Like, it was not a difficult test.

• 10:31Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, cause you're a genius.

• 10:32Speaker 00

  No.

• 10:35Laci Mosley?

  What if I was like, I did it in my sleep. Why can't, everyone can't do this?

• 10:40Speaker 00

  There was, it was, it was the thing though, they were like, when I was taking the test, I was like, I don't know. Cause you have to be like arrogant enough to think that you could be a genius.

• 10:49Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 10:49Speaker 00

  So there's already like this ego point of entry.

• 10:52Laci Mosley?

  Which is a big thing in scams, confidence, like to a point of egomaniac is like necessary.

• 10:57Speaker 00

  And then you won't want to admit that you're wrong later because you already have been telling people you're a genius. And the, but the questions on the test, like there were some that were, there, there was like some math shit and some pattern shit that was like harder for me. But there was a whole section on just like, do you know who this famous person is and what's their job? Like there was, you had to, you had, there, Bill Cosby was on the test.

• 11:19Laci Mosley?

  Oh God.

• 11:20Speaker 00

  And I was like, I don't know what category, he belongs in multiple of these categories. This must be an old question. Uh, but.

• 11:26Laci Mosley?

  So they also aren't updating the test, it sounds like, if Bill Cosby's on the test.

• 11:31Speaker 00

  No, it's just like they're, they're just, I think that they're like going for, uh, like egomaniacs who are like, yeah, I'm probably a genius. And then just kind of taking their money.

• 11:41Laci Mosley?

  Yo, that's actually very smart because it's like, you can, you have to keep the society exclusive enough that people feel privileged. But also you gotta keep that shit going. So somebody gotta be getting in there that ain't a genius.

• 11:52Speaker 00

  Yeah. And then, and then it goes from there is like, once you, once you like get in and you take the test, which costs $75. Then you gotta pay the $80 fee to, to actually join the group. And then you gotta participate in your local group and then you gotta go to Phoenix in the summer.

• 12:07Laci Mosley?

  Phoenix?

• 12:07Speaker 00

  I had to go to Phoenix.

• 12:08Laci Mosley?

  What the fuck is in Phoenix, Arizona for geniuses?

• 12:11Speaker 00

  A lot of people that were mad at me. There, there's, I, there is, I, I'm like, my biggest fear is confrontation to my face. And I had maybe 100 confrontations to my face and I'm cured now and I'll never be upset about anything again. But it was just like, the like level of.

• 12:29Laci Mosley?

  What were they mad at you about?

• 12:31Speaker 00

  They were mad at me because I made fun of them in my piece.

• 12:34Laci Mosley?

  And they all read it because they read.

• 12:36Speaker 00

  They were all, they all read it and then they posted in this secret Facebook group. And it was just like all these insults and all these like, I had never posted in this group. But they were just like, this stupid bitch, like she's, I hate her eyebrows. That was, there was some-

• 12:49Laci Mosley?

  You have such good eyebrows.

• 12:50Speaker 00

  Thank you so much. I was like, I just, I was shocked at the low, the low like Spencer's gift level humor bar.

• 12:58Laci Mosley?

  You guys are geniuses. Can you insult me on like an intellectual level?

• 13:02Speaker 00

  Challenge me. Give me an insult I haven't heard before.

• 13:05Laci Mosley?

  Problem that's an insult.

• 13:06Speaker 00

  Right. And then, but then, and then there was like a very weird death threat. And I was like, oh, this is serious.

• 13:12Laci Mosley?

  Oh, shut up.

• 13:13Speaker 00

  Like, what's going on? And then it just, it just like went spiraled out from there. But the, but just on a base level, like a high IQ society where you have to already be like, I'm special to get in. It's so easy to take money from people who believe that they're better than everyone.

• 13:30Laci Mosley?

  Cause that's a different type of scam. That's the ego. So you're getting the reward of feeling better than someone. That's like the whole premise of the Fire Fest was like, hot, beautiful, rich models. You have to have so much money to go here.

• 13:41Speaker 00

  And once you're, and once you're in, like you'll keep paying to keep appearances up, which is like-

• 13:47Laci Mosley?

  For all the other snooty intellectuals.

• 13:49Speaker 00

  Exactly. Cause you want to match everyone. And it's, it's weird. Cause I mean, that group is, it was, it's like more, it was more diverse in like class background. It is like majority of white people, uh, but they're, they're, but it's people from all classes. So I'm like, they're, they're like scamming some like low income families who did well on a test. They're like, no, come to Phoenix, buy this Deadpool shirt. We may like-

• 14:15Laci Mosley?

  I got the Deadpool shirt. That sounds good.

• 14:17Speaker 00

  It says Brainpool on it, Lacey.

• 14:20Laci Mosley?

  Wow.

• 14:20Speaker 00

  It's just Deadpool with a big ass head. And it says Brainpool.

• 14:24Laci Mosley?

  I mean, look, you gotta flex on a hoe. You know what I mean? You gotta show people that you got that big ass brain.

• 14:28Speaker 00

  I go out there, I wear my Brainpool shirt and people line up.

• 14:32Laci Mosley?

  Were there kids in the society?

• 14:33Speaker 00

  There are kids, which is all, which is another thing about it that freaks me out. Cause it's like, can you imagine a worse thing to do to a kid than tell them they're better than everyone? Like-

• 14:42Laci Mosley?

  Oh, I loved it. It personally fueled me as a child was knowing that I was better than everyone. Uh, I never did Mensa, but I was a, a kid, like aspiring actor.

• 14:52Speaker 00

  I always like, you know, like when you go into a mall and you're little and you're like, maybe today's the day. When there's just like, is there some pervert like, that's a scam is like

• 15:01Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 15:01Speaker 00

  wandering the mall and then just approaching hot kids and being like, do you want to be a star? Like, that could be anyone.

• 15:08Laci Mosley?

  That was the biggest scam of the 90s.

• 15:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:11Laci Mosley?

  Was like people discovering people at water fountains.

• 15:13Speaker 00

  Oh, we were all so excited.

• 15:15Laci Mosley?

  I was so hot at the water fountain, just sipping that water so, so slow.

• 15:19Speaker 00

  Performing, walking in and out of Claire's. It's just like, somebody notice me.

• 15:25Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, the mall is a place for scams and for creeps.

• 15:27Speaker 00

  Oh, it's true.

• 15:28Laci Mosley?

  My friend got inducted into a cult from being at the mall.

• 15:32Speaker 00

  No.

• 15:34Laci Mosley?

  They were at the mall and they got her.

• 15:35Speaker 00

  Wow. That's honestly, at a mall, I'll fall for almost anything. I've done those Dead Sea salt face scrubs.

• 15:44Laci Mosley?

  If you've ever bought something from a mall kiosk, you've participated in a scam. Like those stores that are literally like a moving cart.

• 15:51Speaker 00

  I like the belts that you can program to say whatever you want.

• 15:54Laci Mosley?

  Yes, those were big in the 90s.

• 15:56Speaker 00

  Those are fun.

• 15:57Laci Mosley?

  Yes, you get that, you wear it to the B2K concert, live it up.

• 16:01Speaker 00

  Number one fan.

• 16:03Laci Mosley?

  Scam.

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• 17:08Speaker 07

  Hello everyone and welcome to Rushing the Field. I'm Nicole Auerbach.

• 17:11Speaker 08

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• 17:13Speaker 07

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• 17:39Laci Mosley?

  All right, well, we're going to move into our biggest segment here and my favorite. This is actually really dope because Jamie sent me this story. And then I went on a super deep dive about it. But this is a story about Mark Luke, Mark Luke. Mark or Luke Olmsted? That's the question. That's the question. Mark or Luke or both? So this is a story that happens during the AIDS epidemic in the 80s before we had like good medication and you could actually live for a very long time, you know, and have a full life with HIV. And this is about a man who says, he says that because he was diagnosed

• 18:22Laci Mosley?

  with HIV, that he started doing scams because he didn't think he was going to live very long. However, when I took a deep dive into these scams, I was like, oh no, honey, you was a scammer. He was setting up for the long haul. Career scam. Yeah. Yes. So Luke and Mark are two brothers. So Luke was two years older than Mark and he was like industrial and athletic. He was an Eagle Scout and like a good person. And Mark was, you know, rumoredly very funny and quick witted and charming, but like kind of a fuck up, which is the real makers of a scammer. Like a scammer. A charismatic fuck up.

• 19:03Laci Mosley?

  Charismatic as shit. Like scammers, you love them. They embolden you. You feel special around them. They're fucking insane and I love it. So.

• 19:15Laci Mosley?

  Luke, like, just to get really into it, um, they were both actually gay. And Luke ended up being diagnosed with HIV at the same time as Mark. Cause it was an epidemic in the eighties. It was insane.

• 19:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:27Laci Mosley?

  Um, actually, one of my uncles passed away from HIV, um, and got it in the eighties. And like, thank God now for modern medicine and this is not as big of an issue. Like, you know what I mean?

• 19:35Speaker 00

  It was, it's not like a death sentence.

• 19:36Laci Mosley?

  It's not a death sentence anymore. Yeah, it's still a big issue, but it's not a death sentence. And so, but at the time it was. And Mark capitalized on this.

• 19:45Speaker 00

  Mark was like scamming as if he was going to die young.

• 19:48Laci Mosley?

  Literally.

• 19:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:49Laci Mosley?

  Uh, is that a song?

• 19:51Speaker 00

  That's a, I think I just referenced a Kesha song.

• 19:55Speaker 00

  It's like 10 years old.

• 19:56Laci Mosley?

  Brush your teeth with a bottle of Jack. Uh, Mark, Mark Luke. Um, so to just cut to the chase, Luke passes away. And, and, and you know, it's always the good ones.

• 20:06Speaker 00

  I know.

• 20:06Laci Mosley?

  Like, he was sweet and lovely and everyone, and it seemed like a really good guy, at least how they tell these stories. And Mark was a shady fuck up and of course he lives.

• 20:15Speaker 00

  He lives forever.

• 20:16Laci Mosley?

  That's how it goes. I have one aunt alive from being a child, one great aunt. And she was the most fucking evil person and she has outlived everyone.

• 20:24Speaker 00

  Lives forever. Yeah. Evil really just, I don't know what it does to you.

• 20:28Laci Mosley?

  Fortifies you.

• 20:29Speaker 00

  It really does. It keeps you alive. We were, I had an evil grandma and we were just like, it's never gonna happen. She's never gonna die. She'll bury us.

• 20:39Laci Mosley?

  She's gonna bury you all. It's like John McCain's mom. John McCain's mom must have done some real fucked up shit in her life because that bitch is living.

• 20:46Speaker 00

  It reminds me of like Rasputin from Anastasia. Make a deal with the devil and then all of a sudden you can like be dead, but also alive.

• 20:53Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 20:54Speaker 00

  It's, yeah.

• 20:54Laci Mosley?

  She's literally Melisandre from Game of Thrones.

• 20:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:58Laci Mosley?

  She's just so fucking old and petty and not going anywhere. And I stand.

• 21:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:02Laci Mosley?

  At some point I'm gonna have to start being evil because I would like to live that long as well.

• 21:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:06Laci Mosley?

  I think around 50, I'm gonna have to just start being a real fucked up bitch.

• 21:08Speaker 00

  Oh, we're gonna have to like renegotiate our morals entirely.

• 21:11Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 21:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:12Laci Mosley?

  So that we can live longer. So Mark continues living. Um, but Luke and Mark had been living together since they'd been diagnosed in San Diego. So when Luke passes away, you know, Mark's like devastated. But then Luke's disability checks start coming in the mail.

• 21:31Laci Mosley?

  And Mark was responsible for filing his death certificate, which uh, when the checks started coming, Mark was like, maybe I'll wait on this death certificate. Maybe I'll wait on that, you know?

• 21:45Speaker 00

  And it's like, okay, he's grieving, maybe he's just-

• 21:48Laci Mosley?

  And Luke was a physician, so his, his like disability checks were uh, checks.

• 21:54Speaker 00

  And his, I mean his, because wasn't he like researching uh, HIV AIDS? Like he was looking for cures. Mark is a fucked up man. His brother was literally an angel trying to like-

• 22:05Laci Mosley?

  Trying to save everyone.

• 22:07Speaker 00

  And Mark was like, well, let's see.

• 22:10Laci Mosley?

  Disability checks, yes. Mark was, no scruples. So, uh, he continues to cash these checks for forever. Um, and then Mark is like, hmm, well if I can cash these checks, then um, what about a driver's license? Which I don't think is the next natural step here.

• 22:33Speaker 00

  No. He takes so many like huge risks, like early into this scam.

• 22:40Laci Mosley?

  So Luke, and this is also the eighties, so the technology is not that great. Isn't this like when um, ghosts came out and everybody was, had computers with green letters on them?

• 22:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then they just like 20 minutes to turn on. And you could like not communicate something to someone and get away, and they wouldn't find out for a year.

• 22:56Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 22:57Speaker 00

  Kind of thing.

• 22:57Laci Mosley?

  Literally. So this is like the era of like ghost era computers and like, nobody's checking that green font that hard. You know, we don't got time.

• 23:04Speaker 00

  It hurts your eyes.

• 23:06Laci Mosley?

  It truly does. Nobody's checking for scams on that green font. So, an envelope arrived, so it seems like everything kind of started as opportunistic. It was like, oh, these checks are still arriving, I'm gonna cash these checks. Oh, this envelope says that you have to renew your driver's license, uh, so I'mma renew as you. So what I didn't understand was, is that Mark showed up to the DMV. And took Luke's driver's license photo.

• 23:32Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 23:33Laci Mosley?

  And then now Mark's face is on Luke's driver's license.

• 23:37Speaker 00

  It's so hard for me to like, put myself in a headspace where this works.

• 23:41Laci Mosley?

  I guess it's because it's the eighties. Because I'm like, I guess they didn't have photos on the computer. So if you were just like, I need to renew my driver's license, they were like, great.

• 23:49Speaker 00

  Have like the certi- like the birth certificate or whatever.

• 23:51Laci Mosley?

  Or a social security card, which don't have photos on them.

• 23:54Speaker 00

  Which is also weird. I mean, I guess your birth certificate, it'd just be you as a baby, so it doesn't count.

• 23:58Laci Mosley?

  Right, that's true. You're holding it up like, is this you?

• 24:01Speaker 00

  Could be.

• 24:04Laci Mosley?

  It's just like me coming up with a photo of a black baby. It's me. Yes, so I guess you could just go take other people's driver's license photos in the eighties. What a time for scams.

• 24:14Speaker 00

  Why weren't more people doing that?

• 24:16Laci Mosley?

  God, that's amazing.

• 24:17Speaker 00

  They didn't know that there's, this is a limited time scam.

• 24:20Laci Mosley?

  They didn't know technology was gonna improve and you weren't gonna be able to do this.

• 24:23Speaker 00

  The gateway computer comes out, this is over.

• 24:25Laci Mosley?

  A rap. Yo, Bill Gates probably ruined mad people scams. As much as we're like, oh, we love the computer and shit, I bet there's a lot of people out there who were like, bitch.

• 24:35Speaker 00

  I bet, it's almost like when a, when a job becomes defunct because it's like been replaced by something automated, you have to retrain. So scammers like, couldn't do the DMV scams anymore, but they could start internet scams. They just had to recalibrate their brains.

• 24:48Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, they did. And good scammers, they rise to the occasion.

• 24:51Speaker 00

  Oh, good scammers never die.

• 24:52Laci Mosley?

  No, and not at all. You gotta keep evolving. You know, it's a great, it's every great business plan.

• 24:57Speaker 00

  Really inspiring when you think about it.

• 24:59Laci Mosley?

  Truly. That's why I love scammers. I love them so much. So at this point, he now has his brother's driver's license with his face on it. And he's cashing these disability checks. Now, Mark is a creative. So weird turn, um, he actually gets a screenwriting gig.

• 25:19Speaker 00

  This is crazy.

• 25:21Laci Mosley?

  Which is like, okay.

• 25:22Speaker 00

  But doesn't it involve like Whoopi Goldberg?

• 25:25Laci Mosley?

  So Whoopi went on record and said that she did not endorse this movie. But I think she had known about the screenplay because she was asked about it a few times. It was like, yeah, I did like hear about it, but I, I wasn't involved in the project. But the way that Mark was selling it. Was is that he had a screenwriting gig and he was working with two colleagues and this was all abroad too. And that Whoopi Goldberg claimed that she wanted to be a part of it.

• 25:51Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 25:51Laci Mosley?

  But then his two colleagues die of AIDS.

• 25:55Speaker 00

  Yes. Oh, I forgot that.

• 25:57Laci Mosley?

  So like, this is still during this.

• 25:59Speaker 00

  Very sad scam.

• 25:59Laci Mosley?

  It is, but not for Mark.

• 26:02Speaker 00

  Not for Mark, no. Mark is immortal.

• 26:04Laci Mosley?

  Honestly, I was like, is this scam too sad for this show? But Mark is so shady that I was like, no.

• 26:10Speaker 00

  It's a fascinating scam. Yeah. I mean, he takes full advantage.

• 26:14Laci Mosley?

  He's taking full advantage of an epidemic.

• 26:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's the worst.

• 26:18Laci Mosley?

  Everyone else is like having concerts and selling T-shirts.

• 26:21Speaker 00

  Or his brother was literally trying to cure HIV/AIDS and.

• 26:26Laci Mosley?

  He was like, I see an opportunity.

• 26:28Speaker 00

  Mark's like, alright, let's see if I can write a Whoopi Goldberg vehicle. That'll.

• 26:35Speaker 00

  And it seems like too, he's like a failed writer.

• 26:38Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 26:38Speaker 00

  That, yeah.

• 26:39Laci Mosley?

  Absolutely.

• 26:40Speaker 00

  Yikes.

• 26:41Laci Mosley?

  So he has the idea, right? He's got the disability checks. What comes next? Credit cards. So he starts getting credit cards in Luke's name. And he's running up these bills. And he had over $40,000 in credit card debt on just one card alone. So now these credit card companies are calling like, hey Luke, look Mark, um, we need our coins. So when one rep from a credit card company phoned and asked for Luke, his mind raced. And then Mark was like, oh fuck, I, I am Luke. I just gotta say I'm Luke. Okay, great, great, great. So he does it. And he says, Mr. Olmsted, we've heard of your brother's death. So what he did was, is Mark had a bunch of credit card debt.

• 27:25Laci Mosley?

  And he decided instead of killing Luke, to kill himself.

• 27:30Speaker 00

  Right.

• 27:31Laci Mosley?

  So he sent in a death certificate for himself.

• 27:35Speaker 00

  And he's like, exacto knife, like forging the documents.

• 27:39Laci Mosley?

  He also went to Office Max, which. Office Max, eighties.

• 27:44Speaker 00

  Enabler of chaos.

• 27:46Laci Mosley?

  Enabler of scams. And got a stamp that said CC on it.

• 27:52Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 27:53Laci Mosley?

  And he was using that on his fake death certificates to say certified copy. Cause that's basically the exact same stamp that they would use. Now, if anybody had cared to zoom in, it would have saw that it also said Corona Kruegers, which was a childhood Little League baseball, uh, team.

• 28:11Speaker 00

  Oh, my God.

• 28:13Laci Mosley?

  So he was using this Corona Krueger stamp to like certify documents and death certificates, which I thought was lit because stamps, like in the late eighties, early nineties, like people had stamps of their signatures. My mom had a stamp of her signature that I would use to sign off on detention documents that I got.

• 28:33Speaker 00

  She didn't know that?

• 28:35Laci Mosley?

  Ah, I went to detention all the time for just being late. I would have like, I had, I think I had, when I was 12, my sixth grade year, I had 36 detentions. And every time you got five detentions, you got a Friday night, which was like, a Friday night was a three, which was what a punishment to teachers.

• 28:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, just for being late.

• 28:51Laci Mosley?

  A three hour detention on Friday nights. And so then I would have to do those because my detentions had added up too much.

• 28:57Speaker 00

  There, that's like one thing where anytime I've been punished for being late, like as a kid, it's like I, it has never made me more on time as an adult.

• 29:05Laci Mosley?

  I continued to be late.

• 29:07Speaker 00

  I'm late for almost everything still, like it's, it doesn't help.

• 29:11Laci Mosley?

  No. Well, you know, being late is a big scam because people who are late or tardy end up paying more in, over their lifetime than people who are prompt. So things like late fees, things like, like express, like I went to the airport and had to buy a fast pass through the airport, cause I was so late. A $15 JetBlue fast pass.

• 29:33Speaker 00

  Whoa, they do it like Disneyland now?

• 29:34Laci Mosley?

  They do it like Disneyland now.

• 29:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, I just had to expedite a passport, cause I forgot, like.

• 29:39Laci Mosley?

  And they pay, they charge you for that.

• 29:41Speaker 00

  So much.

• 29:41Laci Mosley?

  Anytime you don't plan, anytime you're late, that's a big scam that people are profiting off of. And I wanna stop, but also I can't.

• 29:48Speaker 00

  I kind of refuse. I'm like, you know what, I'll get another job so I can continue to be late to everything.

• 29:54Laci Mosley?

  This is just my, I drive for Lyft, so I can be late. I just drive for Lyft on the weekends, just to be late to things.

• 30:01Laci Mosley?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, and also, I'll never buy another fast pass in the airport because now I just know I can say I have it because no one checks.

• 30:09Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 30:09Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 30:10Speaker 00

  Is that just for JetBlue or is that for other?

• 30:12Laci Mosley?

  Uh, so for everyone else, it could be like priority memberships. So if you're flying first class or you have priority boarding, or if you're like one of those sparkle, diamond, silver, sapphire, blue jet guests. You know what I mean?

• 30:24Speaker 00

  It's just like, you just need the confidence to enter. I want to go into one of those lounges someday. You know, those like, they have like the United Lounge.

• 30:33Laci Mosley?

  Now, they check that shit.

• 30:34Speaker 00

  They check that shit?

• 30:35Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. I know, because I've tried to just like breeze in.

• 30:38Speaker 00

  Just to get in?

• 30:39Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 30:40Speaker 00

  Damn, I'll try someday.

• 30:41Laci Mosley?

  I try to breeze in when I actually have the pass too because I want to see how easy it is.

• 30:46Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 30:47Laci Mosley?

  Because I'm like, now I have insurance, but I also want to see if I can just do this whenever. So, yeah, now I'll always say that I have priority boarding. No one checks.

• 30:54Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 30:54Laci Mosley?

  No one checks.

• 30:55Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 30:55Laci Mosley?

  Also, tip for people going to LAX, if it's ever crowded and there's like really big lines, I've learned as a scammer to always look for like what ADA compliant or like handicap accessible things exist. Uh, not to get in the way of someone who's actually needs them.

• 31:12Speaker 00

  Right.

• 31:12Laci Mosley?

  But if they're empty, I've found that you can get everywhere much faster.

• 31:16Speaker 00

  Oh, that makes a lot of sense.

• 31:18Laci Mosley?

  So everyone was waiting in line for an escalator. I just took the elevator and then skipped every.

• 31:24Speaker 00

  It's such a simple scam.

• 31:28Laci Mosley?

  So good.

• 31:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:29Laci Mosley?

  But yeah, completely sidetracked. But yes, so Mark killed himself.

• 31:36Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 31:37Laci Mosley?

  And then he used a stamp to certify his own death certificate because he had too much credit card debt. So they called Luke, who is actually Mark, and were like, hey, we heard about your brother's death. And the thing is, is, um, it needs a raised and colored seal on this death certificate, and it doesn't have that. So then Mark literally starts panicking because he's like, I made this shit up, like the jig is up, they're gonna catch me. All Mark did was tell the guy, tell the woman on the phone that he was really sad about his brother's death. Oh.

• 32:14Speaker 00

  He did the empathy scam.

• 32:15Laci Mosley?

  He did the empathy scam and she just stopped asking questions.

• 32:19Speaker 00

  Wow, that would have been me. I would have fallen for that. So I would have, yeah. Shit.

• 32:24Laci Mosley?

  Right? It works, right?

• 32:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:27Laci Mosley?

  So, under Luke's name, his death has now, his debt has now reached like fifty thousand dollars.

• 32:32Speaker 00

  Cause he's like doing, and he's like partying and like doing drugs and all this shit, right?

• 32:35Laci Mosley?

  Exactly. So he started working at a magazine and then decided to quit and collect unemployment.

• 32:42Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 32:43Laci Mosley?

  So, he is now.

• 32:46Speaker 00

  He's working at the magazine under his own name?

• 32:49Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 32:49Speaker 00

  As if he's not dead? Okay.

• 32:50Laci Mosley?

  Yes. No, he's working at the magazine under Luke's name.

• 32:53Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 32:53Laci Mosley?

  Yes. He's full on how started a career as Luke. No, and he gets confused. Like, as much as we're confused as I'm telling this story and I'm sure our listeners are confused, Mark Luke is gonna get very confused as well. This is why I started with like, Mark Luke? Luke Mark? So, he kills Luke.

• 33:13Speaker 00

  Right.

• 33:14Laci Mosley?

  Next. So, first he kills himself, then he kills Luke because now he has too much debt under Luke's name.

• 33:21Speaker 00

  So now they're both dead?

• 33:22Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 33:22Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 33:23Laci Mosley?

  So then,

• 33:27Laci Mosley?

  he goes to the DMV and says.

• 33:31Speaker 00

  Classic Mark Luke.

• 33:33Laci Mosley?

  He loves the DMV. Everyone hates the DMV, but he loves the DMV.

• 33:38Speaker 00

  He is addicted to it.

• 33:39Laci Mosley?

  He goes there, no, actually, no, not the DMV. He goes to the social security office as Luke, after he's killed Mark and Luke.

• 33:47Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 33:48Laci Mosley?

  And he goes there and he says, hey, I need to apply for benefits because the difference on, remember like, he quit his magazine job and was gaining disability, but his disability is not as much as his brother's because his brother was a doctor.

• 34:00Speaker 00

  Right.

• 34:01Laci Mosley?

  And a hero.

• 34:01Speaker 00

  Right. And, and a good person.

• 34:03Laci Mosley?

  And a good person.

• 34:04Speaker 00

  May he rest in peace.

• 34:04Laci Mosley?

  So he goes to social security office and he says, hey, I'm sick again. I really need to get social security again. And the guy at the social security office says, uh, Luke Olmsted died. And he goes, but I'm right here though. And gives him a huge smile. And he was ready with this story that he had been working for Doctors Beyond Borders in Africa and lost his passport, like he had a whole story ready. But what actually happened was the guy at the social security office goes, "These things happen," and then puts him on disability.

• 34:35Speaker 00

  "These things happen." I just...

• 34:38Laci Mosley?

  The 80s was such a good time for scams.

• 34:40Speaker 00

  It's so weird, like I think now, like 30 years from now, what are people gonna say, "We should have been scamming and we're not capitalizing on the opportunity."

• 34:49Laci Mosley?

  Oh, there's definitely gotta be some stuff on that we should be.

• 34:51Speaker 00

  There's gotta be stuff that we should be that just future people will know better than us.

• 34:54Laci Mosley?

  Right. Also, some of this, I'm like, no one is, most people aren't working at government jobs because it's their passion. So I'm sure if you catch somebody who's like not petty, that's the only thing that the government jobs have going for them is like they hire petty people. I feel like they must be in the interview like, "Hey, so Brenda, I see that you've worked in a few other administration positions and, um, like, uh, how likely are you to key someone's car?"

• 35:26Laci Mosley?

  From a scale of 1 to 10.

• 35:27Speaker 00

  There, have you ever worked a government job?

• 35:29Laci Mosley?

  No.

• 35:29Speaker 00

  It is such, I worked in the comptroller's office for a couple summers in college and it is, it is full of either very petty people who will like beat a non-issue into the ground or people like Mark Luke encounters that are just like, "If you say so, I don't give a fuck."

• 35:49Laci Mosley?

  I don't give a fuck.

• 35:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:50Laci Mosley?

  So those are the two types of people who work there. So he got lucky, he didn't get the petty person, he got the person who's like, "I don't, yeah, people be dying, but they don't be dead." Anyway, where do I need to stand?

• 36:01Laci Mosley?

  Here you go.

• 36:02Speaker 00

  Wow, so he gets away with it again.

• 36:03Laci Mosley?

  Yes, he gets away with it again, probably because he's also so charming.

• 36:06Speaker 00

  So now Luke is alive, but Mark is still dead.

• 36:08Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 36:09Speaker 00

  Got it.

• 36:10Laci Mosley?

  Yes, Luke is back alive.

• 36:11Speaker 00

  He's back.

• 36:12Laci Mosley?

  But Mark is still dead.

• 36:13Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 36:14Laci Mosley?

  But actually, Mark is alive.

• 36:16Speaker 00

  Mark is the one doing this.

• 36:17Laci Mosley?

  Just to keep everybody on the same.

• 36:19Speaker 00

  But canonically, he's dead.

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• 37:57Laci Mosley?

  So Mark also, throughout this time period, has been making pretty good money off these scams. And he's living it up. You know, he's buying drugs, he's partying, he's having a good-ass time. He also has pretty good health, considering he's not really on any, like, drugs right now for his actual, like, condition. But he's in really good health. And then he realizes, like, oh, fuck, I'm out of money again. Luke is back in debt, right? So he decided to take out a life insurance bid, I guess, against his policy, which basically means, like, you can say that you're gonna die soon and someone will buy your life insurance. Insurance policy from you at a discounted rate. So he had a hundred thousand dollar life insurance policy. And he basically was trying to sell it to another acquisition company.

• 38:43Laci Mosley?

  That would give him fifty eight thousand dollars for his hundred thousand dollar life insurance. So basically, they turn a profit on you wanting to use your money while you're alive.

• 38:53Speaker 00

  Oh, that's so dark, but okay.

• 38:54Laci Mosley?

  But I mean, it's a whole business. And so he tries to do this and the company is like, you're too healthy. Right. And he, he tells him, oh, I have HIV, like, you know, this is a death sentence in the eighties, like, he's using the death sentence to get money. And they're like, you're too healthy. So he stops taking, so now at this point, he is on anti viral medication. He stops taking it and drives his T cell countdown so that he can get this money.

• 39:22Speaker 00

  The mental gymnastics of this is like so alarming.

• 39:26Laci Mosley?

  Insane. So he does this and then he gets fifty eight thousand dollars. Then guess what? Mark Luke's back in good health, baby.

• 39:35Speaker 00

  All of a sudden, oh yeah, forgot, here's my medication.

• 39:39Laci Mosley?

  I'm living forever. So I'm sure whoever bought that policy from him like lost their job because he just did not die. They're not getting any money from him.

• 39:50Speaker 00

  He just got fifty eight thousand dollars for nothing. Nothing. Wow.

• 39:54Laci Mosley?

  So in August in two thousand and three, the FBI rushed into Mark's apartment. And found narcotics. So this is like, Mark, whilst doing scams, also decided to part time be a meth dealer.

• 40:09Speaker 00

  Right. I forgot the whole meth dealer part of this.

• 40:11Laci Mosley?

  I can't even bring it in like, like, I can't even explain it. I just have to be like, he also was dealing meth.

• 40:20Laci Mosley?

  And he had a meth den. He was making a lot of good money.

• 40:23Speaker 00

  He lived around here, right?

• 40:25Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. So he was making, and West Hollywood, great place to be selling meth. Sells itself.

• 40:31Speaker 00

  You don't have to try.

• 40:32Laci Mosley?

  At all. So he has a meth den. He has like lots of people hanging out there and people are in and out. He's just, you know, carefree meth dealer scammer. One of his meth dealer. Regulars snitches on him to the FBI.

• 40:47Speaker 00

  Right.

• 40:48Laci Mosley?

  So in August two thousand and three, the FBI rushes into Mark's apartment and found narcotics. Five weeks later, in court, Mark's public defender made HIV the center of his case. Basically saying like, he has this horrible disease, it is a death sentence, that's why he started selling meth, because he just, you know, what, what else was he supposed to do? And obviously, there's an outpour of sympathy for this, right? So he ends up getting a two thousand dollar restitution fine, twenty two hundred dollar restitution fine, and three hundred hours of community service. And the article calls it a white boy special.

• 41:27Speaker 00

  Yes, yes.

• 41:30Laci Mosley?

  Get out of here, you little scamp.

• 41:31Speaker 00

  He was dealing meth for years.

• 41:34Laci Mosley?

  He was sad, Jamie.

• 41:35Speaker 00

  He was sad. And they're, they're like, he got a death sentence twenty years ago.

• 41:40Laci Mosley?

  Never mind that he's still alive. Never mind that it's two thousand and three and he had it, he got it to be in nineteen eighty.

• 41:45Speaker 00

  This is, it is so hard to like contextualize this person in my head. You're like, yeah, I mean, he is, he is grieving. Like, the first couple of years, you're like, he's maybe grieving, it's maybe there's some dissociation going on. But we're like twenty years deep at this point. You're like, no, you should have, no. You've, you've re-killed your own brother like three or four times. It's.

• 42:09Laci Mosley?

  Sir, you are, you are not sad. You are a scammer.

• 42:13Speaker 00

  You're too deep in the lifestyle at this point.

• 42:15Laci Mosley?

  So.

• 42:16Speaker 00

  The white boy special, yeah.

• 42:18Laci Mosley?

  When he got out, immediately, he, so before he went to jail, I can't even like tell this story in an accurate way. Before he went to jail and he was selling all this meth, he was on Craigslist and he was like, I should get a real job.

• 42:34Speaker 00

  Oh, I forgot about this. Yeah, yeah.

• 42:36Laci Mosley?

  So he was gonna get a real job.

• 42:40Laci Mosley?

  But he got arrested, like, so he had an interview set up to go to this Craigslist job, and then he got arrested by the FBI. Uh, so he was in jail for a little bit before they released him with restitution and 300 hours of community service. Yeah. So when he gets out of jail, he finds the same job on Craigslist, and he goes in to apply for the job. Mm-hmm. So he's like, "Hey, hey, guys, yeah, sorry I didn't show up for the first interview. I was in jail. Uh, little meth thing, don't worry about it, I was sad." Doing community service, gonna be fine. So, he goes back and he gets this job. Yeah. So, he ends up starting to sell meth again.

• 43:22Laci Mosley?

  I wish I could, like, tell this in a way that, like, builds up to it, but no, he just starts selling meth again. It's just like, wow, he's really not gonna learn this lesson. Yeah, so I guess he tried to, you know, do a legitimate job when he got out of jail, the little pinch. What was the job? So, it was like a print, like a, like a marketing job for a magazine. Oh, okay. Yeah, uh, which apparently he was good at. Yeah. Uh, scammers are great at marketing. Yeah, that's true, yeah. We're good at brands, we're good at hooking people, we're real good at it. So, he's doing that for a little bit, it's not giving him enough money, he goes back to selling meth. This time, the FBI raids again. Yes. And they find his passport, his six passports. Oh.

• 44:04Laci Mosley?

  And they go in his wallet, cause like, they open the door, and they're like, "Mark Olmsted, you're under arrest." And he's like, "I'm not Mark, I'm Luke. I'm not Mark, I'm Luke. I'm Luke, I'm Mark. I'm Luke, I'm Mark. I'm Mark and Luke. Hello?"

• 44:19Laci Mosley?

  And the FBI goes into his wallet and finds several IDs for Mark and for Luke. No, all the DMV scams catch up. Why you got them in the same wallet? You need a Mark wallet and a Luke wallet. He literally had his, like, basically a box that just said "crime" on it.

• 44:38Laci Mosley?

  And they're like, I guess we should open this one. Um, and then they find, you know, meth that he's selling.

• 44:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:44Laci Mosley?

  And then they find six passports, death certificates, and Mark and Luke's DMV identifications.

• 44:53Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 44:55Laci Mosley?

  Sorry, why were you keeping them together?

• 44:56Speaker 00

  All the, yeah, you get various plants throughout your house. Like, that's where you hide things.

• 45:01Laci Mosley?

  What are you doing?

• 45:02Speaker 00

  Speaking from experience.

• 45:03Laci Mosley?

  So he goes to jail.

• 45:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:05Laci Mosley?

  But really for only like a short amount of time.

• 45:08Speaker 00

  Again, he

• 45:09Laci Mosley?

  A few years.

• 45:09Speaker 00

  He can't get caught.

• 45:11Laci Mosley?

  No. This time, the judge was like, okay, we do have to send you to jail, Mark. I know you're sad, but like, you gotta go to jail a little bit.

• 45:18Speaker 00

  And he's like, okay.

• 45:20Laci Mosley?

  Darn it.

• 45:22Laci Mosley?

  So he goes to jail. He gets out of prison. He only, he only, he only served less than a year.

• 45:30Speaker 00

  It's just like there for a semester.

• 45:32Laci Mosley?

  Honestly, he's harmless. You know what I mean? He sold a little meth, he did some fake identity stuff.

• 45:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's probably gonna kill his brother and sell meth again, but like

• 45:41Laci Mosley?

  What are we gonna do? He's so nice, you know?

• 45:45Speaker 00

  He, did you hear Whoopi Goldberg was almost in one of his movies once?

• 45:49Laci Mosley?

  So he gets out of jail and he says that he had survivor's guilt and that he thanks God for being in prison because he needed to feel a little punished.

• 45:59Speaker 00

  Just a little, though.

• 46:00Laci Mosley?

  Just a little, though.

• 46:00Speaker 00

  A little.

• 46:01Laci Mosley?

  So he gets out and now his latest business opportunity has been screenwriting for oligarchs. He goes back into the screenwriting stuff.

• 46:10Speaker 00

  Wait, what is screenwriting for oligarchs? That sounds so dark.

• 46:15Laci Mosley?

  So he has a bunch of Russian film investors and that wanna produce American films. So he's helping them do so with all of his experience that he has from not producing anything ever.

• 46:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay, mediocrity reigns, cool.

• 46:33Laci Mosley?

  And he's also working on a prison memoir called Ink From The Pen.

• 46:38Speaker 00

  From less than a year in prison? That is a scam in itself.

• 46:45Laci Mosley?

  He went to prison for less than a year and now he's writing Oz.

• 46:48Speaker 00

  I

• 46:50Laci Mosley?

  Also, I love the title, Ink From The Pen, because like, the pen, the penitentiary.

• 46:55Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 46:55Laci Mosley?

  Ink. But this is writing from the pen. Like, that's deep. That's sexy. I want to read Ink From The Pen. Uh, Oprah, please put it on your, your list.

• 47:05Speaker 00

  Oprah's fallen for scam artists.

• 47:07Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, a million little pieces.

• 47:09Speaker 00

  Yeah. James Fry is thriving out here, too.

• 47:12Laci Mosley?

  He wrote more books.

• 47:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, he continued. And then he's like, alright, these ones are fiction, but they're still.

• 47:17Laci Mosley?

  Alright, guys, you got me. I won't say I lived this one, but...

• 47:20Speaker 00

  But still, really compelling narrative. Damn. Wow. Ink From, I honestly would read Ink From The Pen the same way I would read like, that Marianne Williamson book.

• 47:29Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, I want to know.

• 47:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm like, I am curious at what you thought you went through.

• 47:35Laci Mosley?

  I'm curious at what you're making up that you thought you went through for true and for fake.

• 47:39Speaker 00

  You're insulting people who are actually serving time for far lesser crimes, but yeah, sure, Mark, tell us. You only did a million billion crimes.

• 47:48Laci Mosley?

  You're the worst. Your only redeemable quality, I guess, is that you were ill-fated in a time where, you know, a horrible disease was wreaking havoc on our community and our world. But that's not even redeeming.

• 48:04Speaker 00

  Right. It's so, it's like such a, like, I don't want to, like, discount, like, I'm sure he was in deep grief. I can't imagine, like, everyone around you dying from the same disease and feeling like your death is inevitable. But then it's also like, what kind of person then capitalizes on that? Like, and, and takes advantage of this horrible thing.

• 48:24Laci Mosley?

  And he took full advantage, like, not just by, like, doing, you know, the social security fraud and the disability fraud, uh, but also by being in court and being like, hey, I thought I was gonna die, so I made a meth den.

• 48:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, like, and, and just like, taking advantage of, like, everyone's, like, empathy.

• 48:43Laci Mosley?

  Sympathy, and empathy.

• 48:44Speaker 00

  And just, just being like, yeah, I'm dealing meth because AIDS. And then everyone's like, oh shit, like, no one wants to be the person to be like, what does that mean?

• 48:54Laci Mosley?

  But also, I'm glad that something positive came out of such a horrible time.

• 48:57Speaker 00

  I, I, I'm like, he did get to, I mean, I'm sure that, uh, his, his brother is somewhere being very disappointed in him. And he is, he's like, he's like sober now and

• 49:08Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 49:08Speaker 00

  writing these shit. So that's good. It's a good story. I don't even know. It's like, this is the kind of scam where it's like, hmm, who is, besides like the emotional trauma to his family?

• 49:20Laci Mosley?

  And the meth he was dealing to people.

• 49:22Speaker 00

  And the meth he was dealing.

• 49:24Laci Mosley?

  Cause meth is a bad, meth is a bad drug.

• 49:26Speaker 00

  And the insult to, uh, everyone who was, uh, was alive during the AIDS epidemic. Besides that, who did he really hurt?

• 49:37Speaker 00

  He took money from the government and from insurance companies. And I like that part of the scam.

• 49:42Laci Mosley?

  Cause fuck the government and fuck insurance companies.

• 49:44Speaker 00

  Exactly. Like that's fun, but then it's like, but he also hurt a lot of people. Damn. That's a complicated one.

• 49:51Laci Mosley?

  It is.

• 49:51Speaker 00

  That's emotionally fraught.

• 49:53Laci Mosley?

  Mark Luke.

• 49:54Speaker 00

  Mark Luke, which, whichever you're identifying by these days. Oh, poor Luke. Luke literally only tried to do good and like loved his brother and brother.

• 50:06Laci Mosley?

  He got the short end of the stick.

• 50:08Speaker 00

  Yikes.

• 50:09Laci Mosley?

  Oh, man.

• 50:10Speaker 00

  I'm gonna give my brother permission to do that to me.

• 50:12Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, if, yeah, when I die, like, please bring me back to life again, over and over again.

• 50:17Speaker 00

  Then just keep killing me over and over. Don't worry. I think it's funny.

• 50:21Laci Mosley?

  I think it's so funny wherever I am.

• 50:23Speaker 00

  But only take money from the government and insurance agencies. Don't hurt, don't hurt regular people.

• 50:28Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, that's all we want.

• 50:29Speaker 00

  Yeah. And scam of the week, I actually wanna highlight a business.

• 50:32Laci Mosley?

  Ooh.

• 50:33Speaker 00

  That I'm, I really love. Um, aftertherapturepetcare.com.

• 50:41Speaker 00

  That's the longest website title in history. What is it again?

• 50:47Laci Mosley?

  HTTP, uh, W W dot aftertherapturepetcare.com.

• 50:55Speaker 00

  Okay, I'm ready.

• 50:56Laci Mosley?

  Slash backslash.

• 51:01Laci Mosley?

  So, listen, dear fellow Christians, as the Apostle Paul described in Thessalonians as quoted above, "At some point in future, Jesus will come in the air and catch up the church from the earth, and then return to heaven with said church. This is known as the rapture, and it will be glorious. But what of our pets? Who will take care of our pets when we are gone?" That's ain't going to heaven. You know all dogs go to heaven? Apparently, no.

• 51:29Speaker 00

  So, this is on the assumption that pets aren't included in the rapture?

• 51:32Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 51:32Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 51:33Laci Mosley?

  Which I don't know if there's any evidence to this conclusion.

• 51:36Speaker 00

  Every pet I've ever had is more worthy of being a part of the rapture than me.

• 51:42Laci Mosley?

  Than most human beings, absolutely.

• 51:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:43Laci Mosley?

  Well, the after the rapture pet care story starts because the idea came from seeing someone else as a joke. An atheist created a site in England that said that she would take care of Christian-owned pets after the rapture, and asked for 70 pounds as a donation. She promoted it as a joke, and as it virally made the rounds amongst non-believers, who enjoy making fun of us Christians. My husband saw it, he's an internet geek, and he told me about it. Admittedly, it did seem funny. Um, a couple of weeks later, Carol came back and suggested that we start the Rapture Pet Care Store together. Carol, a real Christian name.

• 52:23Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 52:24Laci Mosley?

  She said that she had asked several... So, it goes from first person to then, like, second person? Wasn't this "I" story? Um, I'm just gonna make all these "she's" eyes, because I was very confused. Then it goes back to "I." Okay. Oh, my God. So, she tells, like, a bunch of Christian friends about this service, saying that, "If you pay, I will ensure at the time of the rapture, your pets get taken care of." Now, here's where I'm confused.

• 52:51Speaker 00

  So, does she not include her?

• 52:52Laci Mosley?

  Is she not going to heaven?

• 52:56Laci Mosley?

  It's like she just admitted she is a scammer. She's just like, "Listen, there is no way." Bitch, I'm going to hell, and gasoline draws, okay? I've been sinning since the beginning.

• 53:06Speaker 00

  But then it's like, "I'm going to hell, and I'm taking your pets with me?" Like, what is...

• 53:14Laci Mosley?

  Right, like, where you gonna be at?

• 53:16Speaker 00

  Does she not say? She doesn't, oh my god.

• 53:21Laci Mosley?

  That's, that's really what's confusing about it.

• 53:24Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 53:25Laci Mosley?

  So. Oh god, so while they're planning the system, they thought about stories of pet rescues in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Imagine how many more pets would have been saved if there had been a database of pets and volunteers activated immediately. This is something we could do for Christian owned pets, but only Christian owned pets.

• 53:43Speaker 00

  Oh, not heathen pets.

• 53:44Laci Mosley?

  No, not heathen pets.

• 53:46Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 53:47Laci Mosley?

  Also imagine like your owner a heathen, so now you gotta be a heathen by proxy?

• 53:52Speaker 00

  I gotta like get my dog baptized or something.

• 53:56Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, I gotta sprinkle some holy water.

• 53:57Speaker 00

  He's good to go.

• 53:58Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 53:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:59Laci Mosley?

  So.

• 54:01Laci Mosley?

  They created a database that is stored on multiple secure servers with multi-location, online and offline password protected backups. While I don't intend to be here when the rapture comes, we are building a network of non-Christians who have agreed to rescue and care for our members' pets if we all disappear. So.

• 54:21Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 54:22Laci Mosley?

  She isn't planning to be here when the rapture comes, but she's like.

• 54:26Speaker 00

  She's just setting up a Google Doc of people who could maybe take care of these dogs if they weren't Christians?

• 54:35Laci Mosley?

  Mark Luke is definitely gonna be taking care of some of these dogs.

• 54:39Speaker 00

  Mark Luke, oh my god.

• 54:42Laci Mosley?

  Mark Luke, get in on this.

• 54:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, this is a good way, you don't gotta sell, sell meth, there's a better way. Participating in this scam.

• 54:50Laci Mosley?

  Oh my gosh, so they have a monthly fee to upkeep?

• 54:55Speaker 00

  How much?

• 54:56Laci Mosley?

  Oh my god, it does not say. I wanna, I wanna know how much the monthly fee is.

• 55:00Speaker 00

  So wait, so she's just saying like, we're gonna put your pet's name down so that a non-Christian person will later show up after all, after we're all in heaven?

• 55:12Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 55:13Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 55:14Laci Mosley?

  And to watch your dog.

• 55:15Speaker 00

  To watch your dog for you. That is a very generous, I wonder, is there any way of telling how popular this service is, or it's like over?

• 55:24Laci Mosley?

  I think people are using it. I'm trying to get on the site right now.

• 55:28Speaker 00

  Wow, this is really, this is a very creative, this is like a sub-sub-sub scam. I like a niche scam.

• 55:36Laci Mosley?

  I do too. Like, we're really taking into care of like religion, register your pets.

• 55:42Speaker 00

  Christian pet owners who believe that the rapture is coming soon.

• 55:47Laci Mosley?

  Also, how soon? What if your pet dies and you've been paying this rapture insurance?

• 55:51Speaker 00

  Is there any refund involved? I'm sure there's not.

• 55:55Laci Mosley?

  So...

• 55:57Speaker 00

  That's so wild.

• 55:58Laci Mosley?

  Payment. We have never taken payments for our service, is what they say.

• 56:02Speaker 00

  What?

• 56:02Laci Mosley?

  We state that it is a $10 fee to weed out jokers who would submit fake pets thinking they are funny.

• 56:12Speaker 00

  That is...

• 56:13Laci Mosley?

  This is a free service, but it costs $10.

• 56:18Laci Mosley?

  It's free, but also put your credit card information in right here.

• 56:22Speaker 00

  They've got merch shops.

• 56:23Laci Mosley?

  Yo! They've got merch!

• 56:26Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 56:27Laci Mosley?

  Oh my god. After the Rapture Pet Care has, you can get photos of your dog. What's, okay, when you get rapture, you ain't taking the shirt with you?

• 56:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, this is so... Oh, oh no, it's for the volunteers. After the Rapture Pet Care volunteer pet, so that's for...

• 56:40Laci Mosley?

  For the sinners.

• 56:42Speaker 00

  Wow, there's even merch for the sinners. That's more inclusive than I thought.

• 56:45Laci Mosley?

  If you're going to hell, you might as well go impeccably dressed. Get you!

• 56:49Speaker 00

  I don't like that there's pictures of souls being sucked up into heaven. That is alarming.

• 56:57Laci Mosley?

  So disturbing. But then, okay, so guys, it's pictures of souls being sucked up into heaven? And then it's like cats and dogs watching from the window?

• 57:11Speaker 00

  Watching very passively, by the way.

• 57:14Laci Mosley?

  I don't know, look at that dog look bad. Like, for real, though? So y'all just gonna go to heaven, though? Y'all gonna leave me down here with no kibbles, no bits?

• 57:22Speaker 00

  Oh, that's so crazy. He's living with a family of atheists. They got fucking Bill Maher on in the background. Now he's gotta live with Bill Maher watchers.

• 57:32Laci Mosley?

  Oh god, fucking Bill Maher.

• 57:34Speaker 00

  That's hell on earth. That's not fair. Oh my god.

• 57:38Laci Mosley?

  Shout out to AfterTheRapturePetCare.com with a $10 free, free donation that's mandatory.

• 57:46Speaker 00

  And then you'll live in their Google Doc forever.

• 57:48Laci Mosley?

  Forever. That's password protected, on and offline.

• 57:53Speaker 00

  That could mean literally anything.

• 57:56Laci Mosley?

  Oh my god.

• 57:58Speaker 00

  I admire it.

• 57:59Laci Mosley?

  It's been amazing having you, Jamie.

• 58:00Speaker 00

  Thank you for having me.

• 58:01Laci Mosley?

  Where can people find you?

• 58:02Speaker 00

  You can find, uh, my podcast is The Bechdel Cast. I host it with Caitlin Durante, uh, and we, uh, bring a guest on. Lacey's been on twice and, uh, we love reviewing movies from a feminist perspectiva. And, uh, you can find me on Twitter at Jamie Loftus Help and Instagram at Jamie Cry Superstar.

• 58:24Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. All right, guys, as always, you can find us at Scam Goddess Pod on all the internet's platforms, uh, Gmail, uh, Twitter, and Instagram, and Yahoo.com. Uh, and then you can find me, guys, at Diva Laci, D I V A L A C I, on all platforms. Uh, guys, we love you. Stay scheming. Stay shady.

• 58:49Speaker 00

  And if you're listening, Mark, Luke, come on the show.

• 58:51Laci Mosley?

  Mark, Luke, I need you on the show. Mark or Luke, or both.

• 58:55Speaker 00

  Whoever's alive at the time.

• 58:59Laci Mosley?

  Scam Goddess. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Our producer is Jessica Cisneros, and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by Kate Doyle. Stay scheming.

• 59:18Speaker 07

  Hello, everyone, and welcome to Rushing the Field. I'm Nicole Auerbach.

• 59:22Speaker 08

  And I'm Joshua Perry.

• 59:23Speaker 07

  We're so excited to be here to chat about our favorite thing in the entire world, college football.

• 59:29Speaker 08

  From the biggest headlines and breaking news to the stories shaping the sport behind the scenes, Rushing the Field is your home for everything college football.

• 59:36Speaker 07

  Whether you're obsessed with rankings, rivalries, or game day drama, we've got you covered. Watch Rushing the Field on NBC Sports now.

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