Marcus Aurelius' Most Important Education Came From This Man

Want more Stoic inspired parenting wisdom? Subscribe to the Daily Dad Podcast, read each morning by Ryan on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, and all other streaming platforms. On today’s episode of the podcast, Ryan talks about Marcus Aurelius’ step-father Antoninus Pius and the effect he had on his philosophy. Antoninus was held up as an example of all the things Marcus hoped to be in his life. In this video, Ryan Holiday talks about the importance of mentorship and modeling as a parent and a Stoic. Go Macro is a family-owned maker of some of the finest protein bars around. They're vegan, non-GMO, and they come in a bunch of delicious flavors. Visit gomacro.com and use promo code STOIC for 30% off your order plus free shipping on all orders over $50. Athletic Greens is a custom formulation of 75 vitamins, minerals, and other whole-food sourced ingredients that make it easier for you to maintain nutrition in just a single scoop. Visit athleticgreens.com/stoic to get a FREE year supply of Liquid Vitamin D + 5 FREE Travel Packs with subscription. ***If you enjoyed this week’s podcast, we’d love for you to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps with our visibility, and the more people listen to the podcast, the more we can invest into it and make it even better. Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: http://DailyStoic.com/signupFollow @DailyStoic:Twitter: https://twitter.com/dailystoicInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dailystoic/Facebook: http://facebook.com/dailystoicYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/dailystoicTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@daily_stoicSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to the weekend edition of the Daily Stoic. Each weekday, we bring you a meditation inspired by the ancient Stoics, something to help you live up to those four Stoic virtues of courage, justice, temperance, and wisdom. And then here on the weekend, we take a deeper dive into those same topics. We interview Stoic philosophers. We explore at length how these Stoic ideas can be applied to our actual lives and the challenging issues of our time. Here on the weekend, when you have a little bit more space, when things have slowed down, be sure to take some time to think, to go for a walk, to sit with your journal,

• 0:46Ryan Holiday?

  and most importantly, to prepare for what the week ahead may bring.

• 0:54Ryan Holiday?

  Hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoic Podcast. Here on Father's Day, what does that have to do with Stoicism exactly? Well, I think one of the most incredible stories in all of Stoicism is Marcus Aurelius's relationship with his father. Actually, his stepfather. Marcus Aurelius's father dies at an early age. His mother is the formative influence in his life, until he is adopted by the Emperor Hadrian, who adopts Antoninus Pius, who in turn is put in charge of Marcus Aurelius. So Marcus Aurelius's stepfather, Antoninus, is inarguably the most important person in his life. It's this beautiful relationship.

• 1:39Ryan Holiday?

  I mean, Antoninus Pius works his whole life in politics, becomes incredibly powerful, and suddenly he's thrust in this situation where he has to train this boy who he has no relation to for the throne. You know, historically, these situations don't end well. There's a lot of jealousy and fighting and bloodshed. Instead, it became this beautiful surrogate father-son relationship. And Antoninus became everything that Marcus wanted to be. And he taught so powerfully by example and by his decency and goodness and self-control, how he embodied all those four virtues of Stoicism. And so in today's episode, we're going to talk about some of

• 2:21Ryan Holiday?

  the things that Marcus learns from his stepfather, Antoninus, who he learned to love philosophy from and to read and study widely, how to be decisive, why you need to be humble, how to keep an open mind, how to work hard, how to take care of one's health, how to be a good friend, how to be self-reliant and self-sufficient, how to learn from the experts, how to take responsibility, not give excuses, how to control your temper, how to be great in every sense of the word. And this is what fathers are supposed to teach their sons. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen as often as it should, but in this case, it really worked. And I wanted to give you a picture of this extraordinary relationship. It inspires me always, inspires,

• 3:02Ryan Holiday?

  you know, how I try to be a father to my own kids. It inspires a lot of what we do over at Daily Dad, which is the other daily email, daily podcast we do, which you can check out at dailydad.com or Daily Dad, wherever you listen to podcasts. Anyways, here is the most important influence in Marcus Aurelius's life and where the most important parts of his education came from. I think you're really going to like this.

• 3:29Ryan Holiday?

  How did Marcus Aurelius become Marcus Aurelius? How does a boy of ordinary bloodlines etch his name permanently into history? How did a man given absolute power transcend precedent and become the philosopher king that every wise man since Plato had dreamed the world might one day see? It was not destiny or fate. It was not a fancy education. In fact, He was homeschooled by his grandparents for almost his entire early childhood. It wasn't until age 12 that a handful of tutors were selected by the Emperor Hadrian, who first saw something in this little boy. In fact, as one biographer tells us, his first teacher was a slave.

• 4:12Ryan Holiday?

  And another writes of Marcus's education, "That if we were to judge it, we'd predict he'd turn out to be the very worst." "Tutors and masters were selected from every corner of the globe couldn't explain the forming of such a man," the French philosopher Ernest Renan says. "Instead, it was from Marcus's stepfather, Antoninus, whom he revered above all, whom he considered the most beautiful model of a perfect life, that Marcus Aurelius became what he was." You see, Marcus's biological father died when he was just three. He discovered philosophy a few years later. Perhaps he read Seneca's advice to choose a Cato, a model whose life could guide your own.

• 4:54Ryan Holiday?

  Or maybe it was from his favorite philosopher Epictetus, who learned under Musonius Rufus. We don't know for sure, but we know that this young, fatherless boy was searching for someone to hold up as his example. And when Hadrian settled on his succession plan, he adopted that man, Antoninus, who in turn adopted Marcus. What Hadrian saw in Antoninus, an outstanding human being, as one historian says, Marcus clearly saw too. He found his model. He found his Cato. And he spent the next four decades striving to be like him. Somewhere near the end of his life, Marcus sat down and wrote what he learned from his stepfather and his father. It's an impressive list.

• 5:37Ryan Holiday?

  If a father taught their child even half of what Marcus learned from Antoninus, he'd be guaranteed to raise a great son or daughter. So what were these things? And how can we learn from them? Let us list them. First, to love philosophy. Antoninus, as Marcus writes, honored those who were true philosophers, and he did not reproach those who pretended to be philosophers, nor yet was he easily led by them. Two, to read and study widely. Antoninus had a liberal attitude to education. He thought a person should seek to be useful, not just masters of their disciplines, but also well-versed in politics and the problems of state.

• 6:21Ryan Holiday?

  Three, to be decisive. Marcus tells us that Antoninus had a remarkably unwavering adherence to decisions. Once he reached them, there was no hesitation, only resolute action. Four, to be humble. On Hadrian's deathbed, he summoned Antoninus. It was time to hand over the crown. Antoninus pushed back. This indifference to superficial honors, as Marcus said, reassured Hadrian with certainty that he had made the right decision. Marcus said that he revered this in Antoninus, his restrictions on acclamations and all attempts to flatter him. Five, he learned to keep an open mind.

• 7:03Ryan Holiday?

  Marcus says he liked the way that Antoninus listened to anyone who could contribute to the public good. Six, to work hard. Antoninus kept a strict diet, so he could spend less time exercising, more time serving the people of Rome. He limited even his bathroom breaks when he oversaw cases, so that he could do more for more people. Seven, to take care of his health. When we said that he spent less time, it wasn't no time exercising. Marcus would praise Antoninus's willingness to take adequate care of himself. He hardly ever needed medical attention, or drugs, or any sort of salve or ointment.

• 7:45Ryan Holiday?

  By taking care of himself, he took care of his children and his country. Eight, to be a good friend. Antoninus was what we would nowadays call a people person, one of his biographers writes. He felt at ease with other people and could put them at ease, even towards those disingenuous social climbers. Antoninus was kind, and Marcus Aurelius admired how Antoninus never got fed up with them.

• 8:12Ryan Holiday?

  Got a quick message from one of our sponsors here and then we'll get right back to the show. Stay tuned.

• 8:21Ryan Holiday?

  Number nine, to be self-reliant. Antoninus showed Marcus that fortune was fickle. He carried a Spartan attitude to money in his private life, taking frugal meals and reducing the pomp on state occasions to republican simplicity. Frugality in industry was the only way to guarantee financial security. So when Marcus Aurelius wrote self-reliance always, it was Antoninus he was taking as his model. Ten, to look to the experts. When the plague hit Rome in 165 AD, Marcus Aurelius knew what to do. He immediately assembled a team of Rome's most brilliant minds. As McLinn

• 9:01Ryan Holiday?

  explains, his shrewd and careful personnel selection is worthy of study by any person in any position of leadership. But this in particular, Marcus said, he learned from Antoninus, the willingness to yield the floor to experts in speaking, in law, in psychology, whatever, and to support them energetically so that each could fulfill his potential. Eleven, to take responsibility with no excuses. Hadrian was known for his globe trotting and his tendency to seek peace and quiet abroad when Rome was particularly chaotic. In appointed disapproval, Marcus praised Antoninus's contrary example, his willingness to take

• 9:43Ryan Holiday?

  responsibility and blame for the empire's needs and its problems. Twelve, to not lose your temper. Antoninus is dubbed in some Roman history books as the man who never was. Marcus explains why. He never exhibited rudeness, lost control of himself, or turned violent. No one ever saw him sweat, Marcus wrote. Everything was to be approached logically and with due consideration, in calm and orderly fashion, but decisively with no loose ends. And thirteen, to be self-controlled. As Marcus wrote, "Antoninus knew how to enjoy and abstain from the things that most people find it hard to abstain from and all too easy to enjoy.

• 10:28Ryan Holiday?

  Strength, perseverance, self-control in both areas, that was the mark of a soul in readiness." Marcus learned these things not because Antoninus told him about them, not because he received lectures or read about them in books. He learned them because Antoninus lived them. As Epictetus said, "We should not talk about our philosophy, we should embody it." When Marcus himself would say, "Let us waste no more time arguing what a good man is like, be one." What he was saying then is, "Be like my father, be like Antoninus." These lessons guided that powerful man through many trying times. So much so that when he reflected back on his life,

• 11:12Ryan Holiday?

  he could recite them from memory, he could recall their power. And we are still recounting these lessons close to 2,000 years later. The things you teach your kids will shape their future and their children's future and the future of every person. So make sure you're setting that example. Make sure you're not talking about what a good person is like, what a good father is like. Make sure you are being one. If your children were to write down what they learned from you on their own deathbed, what would they write? Would they take you, like Marcus did, as their model? Would they worship your example? Would they sing your praises? If the answer is no, it is not too late. You still have the ability to shape that.

• 11:55Ryan Holiday?

  You still have the ability to inspire them, to call them to greatness. So you must start today of all days.

• 12:04Ryan Holiday?

  Thanks for listening to the Daily Stoic Podcast. And if you didn't know, I also have another podcast and daily email. Every day I write something at dailiedad.com, which gets delivered to thousands of people all over the world. I record the meditations, just like this one, on the podcast for free. So if you're a parent, if you know a parent, if you're an expecting parent, I think you'd really like it. It's called Daily Dad, but it has nothing to do with gender. I'm a dad, that's why it's called that. We'd love to have you over at dailiedad.com. And of course, subscribe to the Daily Dad Podcast.