MFM Minisode 431

This week's hometowns include a near-death experience and hot dog justice. Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3UFCn1g. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is exactly right.

• 0:06Georgia Hardstark?

  In New Orleans, truckers kept getting sideswiped the exact same way.

• 0:10Speaker 00

  When a man is found murdered under questionable circumstances related to these accidents, that's when the rubber hits the road.

• 0:16Georgia Hardstark?

  And what the feds uncover is a complex scheme of staged wrecks, financial fraud, and a pair of conspiring lovers behind it.

• 0:23Speaker 00

  This is a story about fake accidents that led to real consequences.

• 0:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Listen to Over My Dead Body: Operation Sideswipe wherever you get your podcasts.

• 0:31Speaker 00

  Audible subscribers can binge all episodes early and ad-free right now.

• 0:35Georgia Hardstark?

  Join Audible in the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Goodbye.

• 0:41Speaker 02

  Do you ever feel like your computer is tracking you? Well, it's not. It's your browser following you. But not if you come back to Firefox. Firefox blocks the trackers automatically, doesn't follow you from site to site, and supports the ad blockers other browsers dropped. Plus, you can switch AI on or off when its intelligence is acting too artificial. And switching? Totally painless. Your bookmarks, passwords, and browsing history come right with you. Come back to Firefox. Visit firefox.com.

• 1:28Georgia Hardstark?

  Hello.

• 1:29Speaker 00

  And welcome.

• 1:30Georgia Hardstark?

  To my favorite murder.

• 1:32Speaker 00

  The Miniso.

• 1:33Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right. We read you your stories about anything and everything.

• 1:36Speaker 00

  And your grandma.

• 1:37Georgia Hardstark?

  And your grandma.

• 1:38Speaker 00

  You want to go first?

• 1:39Georgia Hardstark?

  Sure.

• 1:41Georgia Hardstark?

  Mine is called "My Own F-Politeness Story." Greetings, Karen, Georgia, pets, and all fellow murderinos. I'm writing as a longtime listener. I'm a bit behind on the rewinds, but catching up. My wife fondly refers to you as my potty-mouthed podcast girlfriends.

• 1:59Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 2:00Georgia Hardstark?

  After hearing the Adelaide Oval abduction story, I was reminded of a situation for my own career that perfectly embodies your F-Politeness mantra.

• 2:09Speaker 00

  Yay.

• 2:10Georgia Hardstark?

  I retired from a major LA metro law enforcement agency after 32 years, so I've got plenty of stories.

• 2:17Speaker 00

  The LAPD by chance?

• 2:18Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God. But this one felt particularly relevant. One day during my long commute home, LA traffic, you know the drill. I was taking the streets, trying to avoid the freeways. Something caught my eye, that gut feeling you get when something just isn't right. I saw a young girl, maybe 12 or 13, walking alone and a station wagon was slowly following her. The driver was leaning over, trying to talk to her through the passenger window. Her body language screamed that she was uncomfortable. I immediately made a U-turn and pulled in behind the station wagon. As I did, the station wagon pulled into a driveway ahead of us. I spoke to the girl, identified myself as a police officer and asked if she knew the man. She shook her head no, I told her to stay close.

• 3:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Then, I then pulled into the driveway, blocking the station wagon in. And with my badge in one hand and my gun drawn, I ordered the driver to turn off the car and show his hands. The girl stayed behind me shaken. Using my cellphone, a new thing back then, I called the local police, identifying myself as an off-duty officer and explicitly stating that I was the black guy holding a gun on the bad guy. Just to avoid any misunderstandings in North Orange County.

• 3:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Jesus Christ.

• 3:29Georgia Hardstark?

  During the three or four minute wait for the local coppers, the guy tried to give me a story about how he was innocent, pleading for me to let him go, but I wasn't buying it. When the local officers arrived and interviewed the girl, we learned that he had been a substitute mailman who had delivered to her mom's house and had been bothering her. She said he made her extremely uncomfortable and this was the first time he had approached her on her way home from school. He was easily in his late 30s and she was clearly very young. Based on her statement and what I witnessed, he was arrested for annoying a minor. He later pleaded guilty, likely getting probation on a plea deal. I was never called to testify, which is frustrating. I just hope he hasn't preyed on any other children. SSDGM and remember, screw politeness, you don't mind your own business.

• 4:14Georgia Hardstark?

  M. Los Angeles.

• 4:16Karen Kilgariff?

  M. Los Angeles, especially if you're an off-duty police officer.

• 4:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally.

• 4:19Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah. The ultimate in the duty to fuck politeness.

• 4:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Right.

• 4:23Karen Kilgariff?

  Please God, as these people are out. There's something about, and I just, in my mind, that was like a early 80s shitty, broken-down brown station wagon.

• 4:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 4:35Karen Kilgariff?

  That's that.

• 4:36Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 4:36Karen Kilgariff?

  Just beware.

• 4:38Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally.

• 4:39Karen Kilgariff?

  We'll change it a lot, but I won't read you the subject line. It says, "Hi Karen, Georgia, sweet animals and other wonderful humans." There's a, if you're watching this on video, there's a whole control room filled with wonderful humans who make this show and they're right over there. Maybe someday we'll show them to you as they make the show. If they want, if they let us. We put a camera in there. They're all like, "No." "My little sister went to college in Rochester, New York and worked nights at a bar near her campus. She lived off campus with her friends in a super cute old house in a neighborhood of college kids. Megan had always been a badass, take no shit kind of girl, parentheses, probably because she's the baby and has two older sisters." Yeah.

• 5:22Karen Kilgariff?

  "One day she came home from work and noticed a chair under her bedroom window, which was on the first floor." Uh-uh. "Now, this was an older house, so the windows were about six feet off the ground, not easy to see into or get into. She thought it might be something another drunk college kid did and forgot about it. A few days later, she noticed her window AC unit had been tampered with from the outside. She called my dad and he arrived the next day to put in window alarms, a security camera, and floodlights. Then she came home one day from class and happened to notice some movement in her backyard. She stepped outside and saw, all caps, 'someone in her bushes.'" Oh, my God. "Most people might scream, run back inside and lock the doors, and call the police, etc. Not Megan.

• 6:06Karen Kilgariff?

  She yelled at him so loud, he ran out of the bushes, through the yard, and into the street. She chased him." I'll stop right here and say, "Do not ever do this." No, don't chase anyone. "Don't ever do this." But Megan, she's a wild one. Yeah. And it's her story, so let's tell it. Okay. "She ran after him down the middle of the street, still yelling and throwing rocks, sticks, and even her shoes." Damn, Megan. "A few other college kids saw the commotion and tried to help her catch him." Yes. "It's a mini Night Stalker situation." Yeah. "He got in a car and drove off. She later found a grocery store receipt in her backyard and knew immediately it had to be his. She turned it in to the police so they could trace it back to him. I, of course, lost my shit when I heard this.

• 6:49Karen Kilgariff?

  I mailed her pepper spray and a taser, but she wanted to buy a bear trap."

• 6:57Speaker 00

  I mean, it'd work.

• 6:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Megan.

• 6:59Speaker 00

  That'd be so funny.

• 7:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Megan, stop it.

• 7:01Speaker 00

  I love Megan.

• 7:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Thankfully, I talked her out of that. Drunk college kids in a bear trap is a disaster waiting to happen.

• 7:07Speaker 00

  Right.

• 7:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Megan, I just want to invite you.

• 7:12Karen Kilgariff?

  A few months later, she went to a Buffalo Bills game and forgot she had the pepper spray on her keychain. Security wouldn't let her carry it in the stadium, obviously, and so she wasn't allowed in. She was sent a letter in the mail telling her she was banned from the stadium for having a weapon.

• 7:27Speaker 00

  What?

• 7:28Karen Kilgariff?

  I'm pretty sure she has that letter framed.

• 7:30Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 7:31Karen Kilgariff?

  It's all a funny story now, but a few years ago, we had found out that the guy hiding in my little sister's bushes had been arrested and charged with serial rape.

• 7:41Speaker 00

  Holy shit.

• 7:42Karen Kilgariff?

  Because it's always, that's the beginning. That's step one.

• 7:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's not innocently casing the joint of a young female by herself.

• 7:48Karen Kilgariff?

  It's not an 80s movie where being a peeping Tom is charming.

• 7:52Speaker 00

  Fucking asshole.

• 7:52Karen Kilgariff?

  Motherfuckers. He had been stalking, assaulting, and raping college women all over that neighborhood by following them home and sneaking into their bedrooms.

• 8:02Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 8:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Super scary, and I can't believe my little sister chased his ass down the street and threw her shoes at him. God, I love her.

• 8:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:09Karen Kilgariff?

  I love her too.

• 8:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:10Karen Kilgariff?

  Stay sexy and don't be afraid to be scarier than the creepy guy stalking you. Stephanie. P.S. Megan is now a traveling oncology nurse.

• 8:19Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 8:20Karen Kilgariff?

  Working with cancer patients of all ages. She is my hero and the most amazing human I know. Fuck yeah, Megan.

• 8:27Speaker 00

  Megan, like, don't chase, all that stuff, but she showed him she was a fighter.

• 8:32Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 8:32Speaker 00

  And he's like, I'm not coming back to this house.

• 8:34Karen Kilgariff?

  Right.

• 8:34Speaker 00

  Which is pretty incredible.

• 8:36Karen Kilgariff?

  And she's like, don't, because I'll trap you like a bear.

• 8:38Speaker 00

  Right.

• 8:38Karen Kilgariff?

  And then I'll enter you in a circus and make you dance. You perv.

• 8:45Speaker 00

  The holidays are coming, which means we'll all be spending more time away from home.

• 8:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Whether you're visiting family or doing something actually fun, you want to know your home is protected while you're away.

• 8:54Speaker 00

  That's why now is a good time to think about home security with SimpliSafe.

• 8:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Unlike traditional security systems that alert you after a break-in starts, SimpliSafe is designed to help stop intruders before they get inside. These days... You're worried about your house, you're out of town, and then something comes up and you get to look on your phone and Simply Safe is going to show you not only the video of like, it's a raccoon at your front door, but also that they have staff that's sitting there, they already know. And if it was something different or worse, they would have already been on it.

• 9:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, I really think that's invaluable peace of mind that just like relying on your neighbors, paying attention is not going to give you. We've partnered with Simply Safe to offer our listeners their biggest savings of the year. 70% off your new system with professional monitoring when you visit simplysafe.com/mfm.

• 9:40Karen Kilgariff?

  That's simplysafe.com/mfm. And when you order, write in MFM at checkout and it tells them we sent you and it really helps the show.

• 9:48Georgia Hardstark?

  Simply Safe, ahead of crime in real time.

• 9:51Karen Kilgariff?

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• 10:32Karen Kilgariff?

  for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MURDER to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Goodbye.

• 10:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, this next one's called near-death experience and why I maybe should never have been born?

• 10:48Karen Kilgariff?

  That can't be true because we need emails and you're providing them. So this is your destiny.

• 10:53Georgia Hardstark?

  Hey, MFM gang, day one listener here. I've lived in five states and had three baby girls since I first started listening and you guys have been one of the constants in my life.

• 11:03Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 11:04Georgia Hardstark?

  So thank you for that and a whole lot more. Let's get into it. Back in the 80s, long before I was born and my parents were married, they had begun dating in secret because my dad is 19 and a half years older than my mom.

• 11:15Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 11:16Georgia Hardstark?

  And it says in parentheses, gross.

• 11:19Georgia Hardstark?

  And my grandmother would not have approved. And then it says she came around eventually, R I P. Because my dad was a well-known dentist in our relatively small town. So she probably was like 22 if he was 44. Or like 40 or something, you know? Was he 40 though? I hope so. I don't, I don't know. Let's just hope for the best. He and my mom would go on dates in a neighboring town about an hour away where they were less likely to be recognized by anyone. Shit. Mm-hmm. This is the 80s. It was on their way back from one of these dates on a relatively unfrequent road that my dad decided to teach my mom how to drive stick shift in his brand new car, a Porsche 911. Of course. Is that how you say it? Yes, Porsche 911.

• 11:59Georgia Hardstark?

  So we've got an older dentist with a Porsche 911 dating a woman 20 years his junior. Which if you don't know, is a tiny and flashy two-door sports car. Yeah, Porsche 911s were all the rage in like the 80s. For the older dentist. For the older dentist, finance pros, guys that had coke. My mom started out all right, shifting into gear with relative ease. But when it came time to get up over a hill that led to a small, narrow bridge, she panicked and stalled out. They were stuck on the uphill. My mom not quite able to see what might be coming over the narrow bridge from the other side. As my dad tells it, he was able to see and spotted a large logging truck, à la Final Destination,

• 12:41Georgia Hardstark?

  headed their way and told my mom she needed to move the car now. That's a lot of pressure. Yeah, chill. It's a great way to get someone to steer in sticks. She was like grinding the gears over and over again. Yep. She kept working at getting the car into gear and in near tears, looked up to ask my dad for help, only to realize he had opened the door, hopped out and abandoned her and the car and was running down the hill away from the ongoing truck. Oh, no. I mean. Sorry. The world needs dentists. They got married. The world needs dentists. Save yourself, doctor. By some miracle, my mom got the car going, was able to crest the hill and move out of the way just in time for the large truck to cross.

• 13:23Georgia Hardstark?

  The driver laying on his horn as he passed, all caps, with absolutely no help from my dad. My mom still brings up this story and is always quick to note how my dad thought to save himself first before thinking of anything and anyone else. She still fucking married him.

• 13:38Karen Kilgariff?

  She still married him.

• 13:40Georgia Hardstark?

  Is that a happy ending? Who are we gonna call it that?

• 13:42Karen Kilgariff?

  Well, it depends. We have to listen to the rest of the email.

• 13:45Georgia Hardstark?

  Fortunately, my mom got that car moving and saved herself and the expensive car. And despite this huge red flag, she stayed with my dad, they got married and had me a few years later. So it's an ending. It's definitely an ending.

• 13:57Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean.

• 13:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Stay sexy and don't count on your problematically older lover to save you. Alex, she, her. I bet you Alex goes to therapy. I bet you anything. Alex can laugh at it because she's been to so much therapy.

• 14:10Karen Kilgariff?

  Because she has no choice, which is how it is for most of us. I mean, that is the fucking funniest thing of all time. It's just like, well, at least you know what you're dealing with now. Yeah.

• 14:21Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, if something went right, because they got married, so.

• 14:23Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, you married it.

• 14:25Georgia Hardstark?

  If you call, I mean, marriage isn't always a happy ending.

• 14:27Karen Kilgariff?

  If I was that young woman, and I mean young woman, I would have been like, it's my car now.

• 14:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes, that's law.

• 14:35Karen Kilgariff?

  The email's subject line is crawl space treasure in old house three minute read.

• 14:40Georgia Hardstark?

  Amazing.

• 14:41Karen Kilgariff?

  Hello, aunties. My partner and I bought our first home last year in a small town in the middle of Connecticut. We've always had dreams of buying a mid-century fixer-upper, and last year, we finally found it. This home fell into disrepair after the previous owners had passed and it ultimately went to a bank. All we were told was the couple who lived there built the house and lived there until passing.

• 15:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Wow.

• 15:03Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah. Georgia would have loved our first tour of this time capsule as nothing had been updated in this house since the 50s.

• 15:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Dude.

• 15:12Karen Kilgariff?

  Imagine that wallpaper.

• 15:13Georgia Hardstark?

  Gorgeous.

• 15:14Karen Kilgariff?

  Through our final walkthrough, I found that we had some serious crawl spaces on the second floor that were big enough for a bunch of ghosts, stalkers, and deviants to have parties in. Needless to say that when we moved in, I found a great place for a dresser or chair right in front of the crawl space doors. Fast forward to a few months after our purchase and my partner and I were realizing that the funds we had put aside for restoring our home were quickly dwindling. We had finished a few necessary projects, but we were quickly approaching winter with a 1980s furnace and water heater that were not going to hold out for the colder months. Thank you, New England winters. Around the same time, we had some family come stay with us, two of them being my murderino cousins who were excited to get a top to bottom tour of the house.

• 15:58Karen Kilgariff?

  And to my disappointment, they had me move my strategically placed furniture from the crawl space doors so they could have a peek. I ushered them in and we traversed the dark space with our phone lights. As much as I would have rathered we didn't. As much as I would have rathered we didn't. What a wonderful clause. I'm glad we did because one of my cousins found what looked to be an old lockbox tucked away behind a support beam. You gotta go in those old crawl spaces.

• 16:28Georgia Hardstark?

  We had them and we blocked most of them off.

• 16:31Karen Kilgariff?

  You didn't check?

• 16:32Georgia Hardstark?

  I mean, it was like, there's no reason for anyone to have gone in there. So yeah, there's probably a lockbox in there.

• 16:37Karen Kilgariff?

  Except to hide their treasure.

• 16:39Georgia Hardstark?

  It's a perfect place, clearly, to hide stuff.

• 16:41Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah. Maybe, you know, I just thought of this and it's so wrong. I was like, you could hire a Task Rabbit and somebody could come do it for you. And it's like, can you imagine the nightmare? They're like, hey, do you want me to move some furniture? No, get into the crawl space. Horrifying. Okay. Lockbox behind the support beam. The thing weighed a ton and we brought it outside in the backyard, crowbars and hammers in hand.

• 17:04Georgia Hardstark?

  That'd be so fun.

• 17:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, how exciting. After a proper beating on this thing, we finally pried it open to find it full of old coins.

• 17:12Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes.

• 17:13Karen Kilgariff?

  And it says cue Goonies theme music.

• 17:17Georgia Hardstark?

  Definitely.

• 17:18Karen Kilgariff?

  My inner child dreams had come true. I didn't even care what the coins amounted to. Finding literal treasure in an old house is priceless. But this is reality and we are adults, so my partner and I took the old coins to be appraised. We like to think that the old people who owned our house saw how much we loved and appreciated their hard work and wanted to pay it forward to us. So when we left the coin appraisers, $5,000 richer, we knew exactly what we would do with it.

• 17:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes.

• 17:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Our mid-century dream home has since been restored and we had a very warm winter thanks to that treasure.

• 17:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes.

• 17:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Stay sexy and don't be afraid of crawl spaces, L.

• 17:54Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God, that's so satisfying.

• 17:56Karen Kilgariff?

  That's also a great number. It's like-

• 17:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Five thousand, yeah.

• 17:59Karen Kilgariff?

  That's like solid check of like, here, go do some goods-

• 18:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally.

• 18:03Karen Kilgariff?

  Go take care of some stuff.

• 18:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Go take care of that stuff. It's that annoying stuff when you put money into a house and it's nothing you can see.

• 18:10Karen Kilgariff?

  Right.

• 18:10Georgia Hardstark?

  So it's just like fucking frustrating.

• 18:13Karen Kilgariff?

  Until it gets real cold and you're like, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh.

• 18:17Georgia Hardstark?

  Right, right.

• 18:19Georgia Hardstark?

  The holidays are coming, which means we'll all be spending more time away from home.

• 18:23Karen Kilgariff?

  Whether you're visiting family or doing something actually fun, you want to know your home is protected while you're away.

• 18:28Georgia Hardstark?

  That's why now is a good time to think about home security with SimpliSafe.

• 18:32Karen Kilgariff?

  Unlike traditional security systems that alert you after a break-in starts, SimpliSafe is designed to help stop intruders before they get inside. These days, you're worried about your house, you're out of town, and then something comes up and you get to look on your phone and SimpliSafe is going to show you not only the video of like, it's a raccoon at your front door, but also that they have staff that's sitting there, they already know. And if it was something different or worse, they would have already been on it.

• 18:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, I really think that's invaluable peace of mind that just like relying on your neighbors, paying attention is not going to give you. We've partnered with SimpliSafe to offer our listeners their biggest savings of the year, 70% off your new system with professional monitoring when you visit simplisafe.com/mfm.

• 19:15Karen Kilgariff?

  That's simplisafe.com/mfm. And when you order, write in MFM at checkout and it tells them we sent you and it really helps the show.

• 19:23Georgia Hardstark?

  SimpliSafe, ahead of crime, in real time.

• 19:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 19:27Speaker 00

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• 20:12Speaker 00

  It's such an easy way to get everything you need and it tastes good too, which is just huge bonus. So embrace your salty side. Go to kachava.com and use code MFM for 15% off your first order. That's Kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com, code MFM. Goodbye.

• 20:30Georgia Hardstark?

  My last one's called, I'm not telling you.

• 20:32Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 20:33Georgia Hardstark?

  But it's a short and sweet. Hello to all the wonderful people at mfm/ExactlyRight. Since we're all just submitting stories for funsies now, I have a good one.

• 20:43Speaker 00

  Great.

• 20:43Georgia Hardstark?

  My dad and my mom have many odd stories from the early days of their dating/marriage life. My favorite is how my mom met her future Italian in-laws. My parents, Steve and Debbie. Thank you.

• 20:56Speaker 00

  Classic they met in 1987.

• 20:57Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right. Had been dating for a little while before my dad asked my mom if she would like to meet his family. He invited her over and said his entire family would be there. My mom walked into this house filled with Italians to find a wake happening in the living room. Literally a dead body in a casket in the living room. Casual, this was the early 80s.

• 21:19Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 21:20Georgia Hardstark?

  My dad had invited my mom to meet his entire family at his dead uncle's wake in some random family member's living room. How romantic. You'd think this would have been a red flag for my mom, but alas, they've been married for almost 40 years and still going strong.

• 21:34Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 21:35Georgia Hardstark?

  I'd say this is the weirdest story of the relationship, but they literally met at a toga party where my mom was going to buy weed from my dad.

• 21:43Georgia Hardstark?

  This is a good one. This is a sweet one after my weird one.

• 21:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, so good.

• 21:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Stay sexy and don't meet your future mother-in-law in front of a corpse. Much love, Stephanie, she/her.

• 21:52Karen Kilgariff?

  That's also, I've never been to a wake at a home where the body is in the home. But I know that is like traditional.

• 21:59Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes, for sure.

• 22:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Have you ever?

• 22:00Georgia Hardstark?

  No, at a church, but not.

• 22:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 22:03Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, no.

• 22:03Karen Kilgariff?

  Like, in the living room is different.

• 22:05Georgia Hardstark?

  It's creepy.

• 22:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah. Okay, ready? Okay, I picked this simply by the subject line and did not read it.

• 22:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh shit.

• 22:11Karen Kilgariff?

  Because the subject line is hot dog justice.

• 22:14Georgia Hardstark?

  You got it. It has to work.

• 22:16Karen Kilgariff?

  Let's see.

• 22:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Let's make it work.

• 22:17Karen Kilgariff?

  Hi all, I love you, but there's no time to waste on flattery. My moment has come. It's hot dog justice time.

• 22:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god, what?

• 22:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Amazing start.

• 22:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes.

• 22:25Karen Kilgariff?

  I feel good about this. Years ago, my dad was involved in the management of the Western Pyrotechnic Association. I think we're golden.

• 22:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god, we're going, I'm gonna guess, festival, hot dogs, fireworks. Let's hear it.

• 22:40Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay. They'd have a big conference each year in Lake Havasu where they'd build fireworks, shoot them, and party, not necessarily in that order. This particular year, my dad was in charge of providing hot dog buns for the kickoff barbecue. Keep in mind, this is a barbecue for over a thousand sweaty, meat-loving, self-proclaimed pyromaniacs. So he had to purchase thousands of hot dog buns, enough to fill up his green Volvo station wagon to the brim.

• 23:06Georgia Hardstark?

  Whoa.

• 23:07Karen Kilgariff?

  My dad decided that the best course of action was to purchase the hot dog buns from our local Costco. How else could you do it?

• 23:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. Unless you're a business.

• 23:16Karen Kilgariff?

  You're just going to every grocery store in town and just cleaning them out of hot dog buns. Okay, go to Costco and then pack them into our giant rental van, which he would be using to transport all of his firework gear into the desert.

• 23:30Georgia Hardstark?

  Uh oh.

• 23:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Since I was around 12 at the time and the prime age for providing child labor, I helped my dad unload the hot dog buns, which we stacked on every available surface in our yard. We then rushed off to get the rental van. Enter Bodhi, our sweet, highly food-motivated lab pit bull mix.

• 23:48Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh no.

• 23:51Karen Kilgariff?

  As my dad and I returned with the van and pulled into our long gravel driveway, we lived in the countryside of the South Bay area. What up Karen? We saw utter carnage.

• 24:01Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 24:02Karen Kilgariff?

  All around us were whole hot dog buns, parts of hot dog buns, and the tattered remains of the plastic bags that once held them. It truly looked as if there had been a hot dog bun explosion.

• 24:14Speaker 00

  Bodie is like, this is the best moment of my entire life.

• 24:18Karen Kilgariff?

  Bodie is like, for all those times that you told me to get down, told me, no, I couldn't have something.

• 24:24Speaker 00

  Broke a treat in half? Oh yeah?

• 24:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh yeah?

• 24:26Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 24:27Karen Kilgariff?

  How about we double, quadruple, one thousandth that? We got out and my dad started swearing profusely, but he quickly stopped as he did some math. These are a lot of hot dog buns, but this wasn't all of them. Where were the rest? And where was Bodie? Our house had a large ravine on one side, and as we peeked over, we couldn't help but notice a long trail of hot dog buns and bags that led up further into the ravine, under the cover of dense oak trees. We called for Bodie, but he didn't come back. As we waited for our own hot dog dog to return, this is what we figured happened. As soon as we left, Bodie went wild with hot dog joy on thousands of unprotected buns.

• 25:08Karen Kilgariff?

  He jumped on the table, ripped open the bags, and shook the buns out everywhere. He took bites out of some, saw the hundreds around him, got excited, took bites out of those two. Then he realized that he needed to relocate his stash, so he dragged bag after bag to his hideout up in the ravine.

• 25:24Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 25:26Karen Kilgariff?

  We never did find the rest of the hot dog buns, but Bodie got his own hot dog justice. He came back hours later, his stomach so full that it was hard to the touch.

• 25:36Speaker 00

  Oh my god, gross.

• 25:37Karen Kilgariff?

  That happens to Frank.

• 25:38Speaker 00

  So painful.

• 25:39Karen Kilgariff?

  When Frank eats super fast and he goes and lays on the couch and he's just like that. He had packed every possible part of his stomach with those delicious hot dog buns. Bodie laid down in his dog bed and was softly moaning and loudly farting for hours afterwards.

• 25:56Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 25:57Karen Kilgariff?

  And in true dog fashion, he did still try to get us to feed him dinner.

• 26:03Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes. Thanks for reading and thank you for all that you do. You're truly a shining light in a world of darkness. Stay sexy and guard your hot dog buns, Roya. Hey, Roya, thank you for writing a perfect email and letting me roll the dice. That's how much I trust our murdering listeners. They know how to do this.

• 26:22Georgia Hardstark?

  That was great. That was perfect.

• 26:23Karen Kilgariff?

  It was perfection, Bodhi.

• 26:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Bodhi, bad dog, but good boy.

• 26:28Karen Kilgariff?

  It's all up to Bodhi.

• 26:29Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right. Thanks for writing in, you guys, and listening and all the things.

• 26:32Karen Kilgariff?

  We love your stories. And if you want to send one in or try again and again, we'll get there. We'll get to your email. Don't worry.

• 26:39Georgia Hardstark?

  MyFavoriteMurder@gmail.

• 26:40Karen Kilgariff?

  And until then, stay sexy.

• 26:41Georgia Hardstark?

  And don't get murdered.

• 26:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 26:45Georgia Hardstark?

  Elvis, do you want a cookie?

• 26:54Speaker 00

  This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producers are Alejandra Keck and Molly Smith. Our editor is Aristotle LaCiveta. This episode was mixed by Liana Scolacci. Email your hometowns to [email protected]. And follow the show on Instagram at MyFavoriteMurder. Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And now you can watch us on Exactly Right's YouTube page. And while you're there, please like and subscribe. Goodbye.

• 27:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Vacation planning should feel like a breeze, not a deep dive into countless travel sites searching for the best deal.

• 27:30Speaker 00

  With CheapCaribbean's Budget Beach Finder, you can search every destination and every date, all in one search.

• 27:36Karen Kilgariff?

  You'll save time and money with the Budget Beach Finder.

• 27:38Speaker 00

  Say goodbye to endless scrolling and tab hopping and hello to Budget Beach Bliss at your fingertips.

• 27:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Go to CheapCaribbean.com to try out the Budget Beach Finder and see just how stress-free vacation planning should be.

• 27:50Speaker 00

  Goodbye. You know a favorite M-word? Magnesium.

• 27:53Karen Kilgariff?

  Like the kind that's in Dr. Teal's Magnesium Spray.

• 27:56Speaker 00

  Made from a proprietary blend of topical minerals, it's designed to relax and prepare you for a night of rest.

• 28:02Karen Kilgariff?

  If you need a reset after your day, make Dr. Teal's Magnesium Spray part of your nighttime routine.

• 28:07Speaker 00

  Generously spritz each foot before bed and you'll be all set. I've actually started doing this and I'm obsessed with magnesium. It does everything.

• 28:14Karen Kilgariff?

  Something like this is just like, it's simple, it's easy, and it actually works.

• 28:17Speaker 00

  Totally. For wellness you can feel, find Dr. Teal's Magnesium Spray online or in your local bath aisle. Goodbye.

• 28:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Shopping for your next car can feel overwhelming. There's so many options and you want to make sure you're making the right choice.

• 28:30Speaker 00

  That's where cars.com comes in.

• 28:32Karen Kilgariff?

  Research your options with unbiased expert reviews, guides and comparisons. Then shop based on the features that matter most to you.

• 28:40Speaker 00

  You can even see real financing rates and monthly payments to help understand what you can afford.

• 28:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Turn endless possibilities into the right car for you.

• 28:48Speaker 00

  Start your search at cars.com.

• 28:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.