How To Thrive In An Economic Winter w/ Dean Graziosi

This week I’ve invited DEAN GRAZIOSI back to talk about a different kind of HEALTH PROBLEM facing every single person in this country right now. There’s UNCERTAINTY with the ECONOMY right now and we are in a RECESSION, what should you be thinking and doing? I’ve had a ton of people reach out to me about this in recent months, and it’s time to DIG DEEPER, get some ANSWERS, and give you STRATEGIES you can put into action to lessen the impacts of what’s happening now and what’s to come. Every news outlet is stoking fears about inflation, a looming recession, and a global economy fighting to maintain strength during serious worldwide issues and so many polarized camps in America. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? You’re about to find out…Dean has been through times like these before. He is in constant contact with some of the other BRIGHTEST MINDS on these subjects, and that’s why you need to listen to what he’s got to say. You’ll get a download about how to PROTECT yourself and SURVIVE through what’s to come and how you can go on offense and THRIVE amidst all the chaos. Dean is also going to give you real ACTIONABLE ADVICE about how to INVEST IN YOURSELF and level up on your MENTAL TOUGHNESS by shifting to an OPPORTUNITY MINDSET. Dean pulls no punches by telling you how you can UNFREEZE YOURSELF, overcome fears and feelings that you’re not worthy of success, and how you can USE YOUR PAIN to change your story. You’ll hear some important thoughts about POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE ENERGY and how you should channel each of them. I can’t stress enough how important our discussion is about this. To wrap things up, Dean talks about the differences between his first and second marriage and what he’s done to improve THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP in his life. We cover a lot of ground this week, and every minute of it will HELP YOU, no matter what’s to come…Go to www.thrive215.com to sign up for the Time To Thrive Challenge! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 p.m. And my third day, 6:00 p.m. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over $12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff. Borrow better.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Mr. President, my company, for me, of the explosion on our rig.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  On October 2nd.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me.

• 1:11Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess. And Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and the Revenant.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You stop, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 1:22Speaker 02

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  I'm not the first nanny.

• 1:27Speaker 02

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.

• 1:36Ed Mylett?

  This is the Ed Mileage Show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. I have a man here who's become such a dear friend of mine and a trusted advisor. I've only had one other person on the show three times. So you are now breaking a record, brother. You are a ratings machine.

• 1:55Ed Mylett?

  But more importantly, you bring such value every time you're here. And when we're done talking, every single time we've done this, I go, oh, my gosh, this is going to get millions of downloads because it made me better. And every time I'm with you, I feel better. I smile more. I feel better about myself and I learned things about how to win, how to succeed, how to persevere. So Dean Graziosi, welcome back to the show, my brother.

• 2:16Dean Graziosi?

  So good to be here. And I have to tell you, the best, you're the most gracious host ever. And to this day, still, our two podcasts, every day, I send you some of them. Every day, I'm like, best podcast ever, best podcast. And I've been on a lot. And it's because you're so gracious, because you care so much. And the reason people are following you and listening, and I know I'm speaking for the people listening, is because they know you care.

• 2:39Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 2:39Dean Graziosi?

  They know that you have me here for a third time, not for any other reason, except you think it will bring more value. And I hope, I hope I don't let everybody down. You got a lot of options. You're here with us. It'll bring more value to them. And that's why I love your success. I love how your book is crushing it.

• 2:53Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 2:54Dean Graziosi?

  The world needs more Ed, so.

• 2:55Ed Mylett?

  Well, by the way, you helped me crush that book. And most people may not know this, but you know, one of the reasons the book did well is we decided to donate all the profits to the shooting victims in Texas. And you immediately stepped up and said, you were throwing $50,000 in on that as well. And I just want to thank you for that.

• 3:10Dean Graziosi?

  You're welcome.

• 3:11Ed Mylett?

  You're a remarkable man. My book launch event, he comes out, flies out at his own expense, brings his entire family, gets on the stage and decides to donate $50,000 in addition to giving me his time and helping promote the book. So that just gives you an idea right out of the gate, who we're talking about here. And I'm excited about things you're doing right now with Tony Robbins that we're going to talk about in a few minutes, that you can help a bunch of other people with. But let's just start out with where you see the world right now. I brought you back mainly because the impact of those two shows was so huge. And one of them was three or four years ago, and we still keep hearing about it. And so, what's your view? I have a lot of people messaging me right now, kind of scared.

• 3:48Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 3:48Ed Mylett?

  Little bit concerned, like, are we in a recession? What does it mean if we are in one? And so what's your take on things? Where do you see the world right now? The economic environment, the business environment? I'll let you kind of describe it first.

• 4:00Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, I mean, I mean, if you just look at the outside world, it's, it's a fact that we have inflation, right? It's a fact, if you follow numbers, we're in a recession. If you, if you follow how a recession is determined. People are uncertain. But if you really think about this, because I've spent a lot of time, and I really want you to hear this, because going into a recession, some people might say, what's that mean? Gas prices are higher and interest rates go up? No big deal. Right? Other people are freaked out. Should I take my money out of crypto? Is it going to go to nothing? Should I take my money out of the stock market? Do I hold? Do I invest? Should I try to sell and get money so I can invest? Should I buy a new house? Should I? Like, there's so much uncertainty, but really, think about it. If you're feeling uncertain, if you're feeling a little scared right now, doesn't matter what level of wealth you have, congratulations for being human. I mean, think about it. Two years ago, we had uncertainty of COVID.

• 4:44Dean Graziosi?

  What does that mean? We're home, we're shifting. If you own a business, you went virtual. If you work in a business, you went virtual. A lot of you realize when you stayed home, it's like, this isn't the job for me. I'm not wasting my life. I'm going to pursue my next level. So you get this uncertainty for two years, and then separation like we've never had in this country of vaxers, no vaxers, masks, no masks, super left, super right. So you compound that with uncertainty, with the news polarizing us more than ever before, and then all of a sudden, recession comes. Right? It's on the back of two years of uncertainty. So I don't want to be a naysayer, Ed, because I hope we wake up tomorrow and it shifted and it's gone. So I'm not the, I'm not the, it's doomsday and I want to...

• 5:28Ed Mylett?

  You're the antithesis of that most of the time, but you're also a truth teller.

• 5:31Dean Graziosi?

  Yes, and the truth that I'd say when most people ask what to do, I think we should talk about the, there's tactical things you should do, right? The quote that's worn out, but I love it is Wayne Gretzky said, "I'm a great hockey player because why? Skate to where the puck is going." You need to investigate and see where is the world going during a shift so you can get out in front of it. But the best advice I would say is, it is way better to anticipate and prepare than it is to react.

• 5:59Ed Mylett?

  So true.

• 6:00Dean Graziosi?

  And I think that's what we could talk about a little bit. It's like, let's, what did Winston Churchill say? "Those that don't understand the past, it's bound to repeat itself." Right? It was probably, he said it more elegantly, but basically, if you don't look backwards, you don't know what's happening in the future. So what I'd say is, understand that the average recession lasts 18 months. There's been like 20 of them since the beginning of America. They last 18 months. So don't make it worse than it is, but you don't have to make it better than it is, right? But prepare, anticipate, things are gonna get different. There are gonna be layoffs if we follow. The housing market isn't, wasn't a bubble and it did bust. And if you're a real estate agent, if you're in the mortgage business, you're in the title company, all those things are gonna be affected. There is no question about it. It's coming. Like, ask an agent right now, like, no, this is temporary.

• 6:44Dean Graziosi?

  That's what, that's what happened in 07 and 99. I was in business.

• 6:46Ed Mylett?

  So true.

• 6:47Dean Graziosi?

  Right? Because it's hard for your brain to say, could this be over?

• 6:50Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 6:50Dean Graziosi?

  And it is over, for a little bit of time.

• 6:52Ed Mylett?

  For a little bit.

• 6:53Dean Graziosi?

  Right?

• 6:54Ed Mylett?

  So, let's unpack a couple of things. One, the Gretzky quote, so profound. Don't, he didn't skate where the puck was. He puck, he skated where the puck was going. This anticipation thing, I have to tell you, when my kids were little, I've heard Tony talk about this too, your partner in your program that we're gonna talk about in a minute. I would play video games with Max, we'd play Madden. And I would be down 45 to nothing in the first quarter. I'm like, how in the heck is this kid this good at this game? He's not this good at real football. It's because he had experience in doing it, right? So he was going where the ball was going. I'm reacting all the time. I'm down 45 to zip.

• 7:26Dean Graziosi?

  Believe me, I play baseball with my son, MLB. I get destroyed.

• 7:29Ed Mylett?

  You get destroyed, right? And it's because we're reacting. And I think there's this fine line right now that we're entering this window. The last many years, you could actually react and still do well. If you're gonna react now, you're toast. You're down 45 to nothing. You've gotta begin to anticipate and see what's around the corner. So, now, one thing about you and I, by the way, if those of you, almost everybody here knows Dean, but if you didn't know him and you're listening to the audio, if you're on video, you go, I recognize that face. Because Dean has been in the public sphere in business, in all different businesses. One thing you and I have that is unique in this personal development, thought leader, business entrepreneur space, is the diversity of things we've done.

• 8:06Dean Graziosi?

  Yep.

• 8:06Ed Mylett?

  And so, you've been on TV back in the infomercial days, you know, in the real estate space and different business environments. So you've seen this movie before, or one like it before. So what do you think? What do you see right now? What do you, where do you think the puck's going? What's your, what's your expectation?

• 8:23Dean Graziosi?

  I can only, I can only say that I'm fortunate enough to surround myself with people smarter than me. And most people, you ask people that are managing $50 billion and, you know, especially being partners with Tony, I get access to a lot of great people. And they feel this is gonna- To be a longer, this is their, again, not giving you advice, don't change your financial situation based on Dean Graziosi. But they feel this is going to be a longer downturn than we've experienced in a long time. They're thinking three to five years because it went too long. It went too long of printing money. It went too long with interest rates at basically zero. It went through long of trying to keep the economy going, whether that was political or not, that's above my pay grade. But it went too long. So the best explanation I could say is I had somebody that I won't share, but he said,

• 9:07Dean Graziosi?

  think about if you push down a trampoline, right? You know, the analogy, you push it down an inch, it comes back an inch. He said, man, we've been pushing down the trampoline for five, six years extra. It's so far that when you let it go, it's got to rebound in the same way. So I'm going to prepare for a three to five year shift mentally first. Right? Because you know better. That's why you wrote the amazing book. By the way, I listened to it with my family and our ride. And my wife took a video. Amazing book. Congratulations. You did a bang up, incredible job. But that's your life. You get it. If we don't work on that, it doesn't matter if you have the right business, if you know where the puck is going. If mentally you're sitting on your hands. Right? And mentally you're freezing, you're going to be left behind. So I would say work on the mindset of thinking,

• 9:52Dean Graziosi?

  it's going to go sideways, but I could figure this out. I could get ahead of it and think about, I mean, this is all the cliches and I hate being cliche, but I want to be, I want to scream from mountain tops. If you Google when the most successful businesses are started and the most money is made, it's always in a down market. So the way I look is most people sit on their hands. And the ones that don't, that investigate, take uncomfortable actions, step into the pain, step into the fear, are the ones that have no competition. So this might be a time for you to go, I'm going to wait or say, no, I'm going to wait for nothing. Yes. Right? And, and the last thing I'll say about it is there, and we know this, and I'm sorry if I'm, I've sound again too cliche, but there's no one coming to save us. Whether you like the last president or the current.

• 10:36Dean Graziosi?

  I don't care, but neither one of them saved you. Neither one of them waved a magic wand and made things better. And the next one is not gonna. So if there is a time to take uncomfortable action, if there is a time to say, let me, let me stick my chest out a little bit further than ever before. Let me protect my family more than I ever did before. Let me be the one, and I read this in your book and I love it. I've heard you say it live, but I loved it in the book. Let me be the one that changes the destiny of my family and let me do it. When no one else has the, I don't want to say it, the nerve, I'll say nerve, right? The nerve to do it, right?

• 11:09Ed Mylett?

  No, you're totally right. I, uh, I built my first big business during what everyone thought was a downturn. Here's why. You really shrink the competition level. When things aren't going well and everyone's panicking or going out of business or doing stuff, there's this massive opportunity for those of us that are not yet successful to get innovative, to capitalize on it.

• 11:25Dean Graziosi?

  Cause you have nothing to lose.

• 11:25Ed Mylett?

  You have nothing to lose. You have nothing to lose. You can get innovative. You can get into a space because the lanes open up that weren't there prior. And you can just, you're absolutely right. Look at Bezos, look at Cuban, look at Zuckerberg, look at Musk.

• 11:36Dean Graziosi?

  All of them.

• 11:37Ed Mylett?

  In our ways, in our own way. It was all done during what kind of looks like this time. There's no quantitative easing to bail out this recession this time. We can't reduce rates much lower. In fact, they're going the other way because of inflation. And so we're probably entering that season. This is a great time, I think personally.

• 11:56Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 11:57Ed Mylett?

  To invest in oneself as well. And you were just, you were talking about right before we started, Warren Buffett and Munger just did their deal.

• 12:04Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 12:04Ed Mylett?

  Uh, that they do every single year. And I think sharing some of those thoughts that you shared with me would really help the audience.

• 12:11Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah. So, so first off, I really believe whatever it takes for you, before I tear, I, I thought what Munger and Buffett did was so good. I love those two guys. Um, but before we get that, like whatever it takes, I'm just going to share, if you take nothing else from this podcast today, take this, whatever it takes. If it's listening to Ed Mylett's book, or Tony Robbins, or something from yourself, or something else, if there's something you read, if something is feel, if you pray, if you talk to God, if you go to church, it's different from everybody, but whatever it takes to keep you in a space of, I'm going to live into my inner purpose. I'm going to tap into my full potential rather than playing small and playing scared. You figure out, this isn't a show about personal development. You can read Ed's book and lots of other things, but do something to keep

• 12:53Dean Graziosi?

  you focusing on where you can go and not sit on your hands. I was with Tom Bilyeu two weeks ago, and he said, during times like this, people talk about fight or flight? He goes, that's not what happens here. It's the third F. They all freeze.

• 13:05Ed Mylett?

  So true.

• 13:06Dean Graziosi?

  And I was like, wow, I got goose. I was like, that's right. So unfreeze yourself, whatever it takes. Secondly.

• 13:11Ed Mylett?

  Very good, by the way. Very good.

• 13:12Dean Graziosi?

  So, so the second thing, once you start realizing that we're not giving you that answer today, I'm saying, go find that answer. But the other thing, I love what, what Buffett said. He said, during a recession, during inflation. Invest in yourself. Get, get better at what you decide to do than anybody else. Cause if it's, he said Reichmarks or seashells, you'll just get more of the pie. So if it's a deflated dollar, when you used to get two, go get six because you're better at what you do.

• 13:38Ed Mylett?

  So true.

• 13:38Dean Graziosi?

  I know it sounds so simple, but it's like, duh.

• 13:40Ed Mylett?

  It doesn't.

• 13:41Dean Graziosi?

  Let me stop staring at the competition. Let me stop talking to my friends about how things go bad. You know, the conversation at your dinner tables are getting different. Be the only one that's saying, no, I'm going to find the gold in this downtime.

• 13:52Ed Mylett?

  Can I say something on that as well?

• 13:52Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 13:53Ed Mylett?

  I want to play off that with you. I'm big on this quote of separation season where I'll say, hey, it's the summertime. Everyone's flinching. This is where you hit the accelerator because you don't catch people in front of you when they're at full speed. It's harder. You can, but it's harder. You catch them when they flinch, they relax, they freeze.

• 14:07Dean Graziosi?

  Yep.

• 14:08Ed Mylett?

  And that's their seasons. And usually it's, it's seasonal, meaning like, okay, August, right? People start to freeze or July, they're gone, they're flinching or Christmas time. Everyone takes time off. Then there are economic cycles that are separation seasons. And I think that's where we are now. They're going to freeze. They're going to panic. They're going to buy into the collective group think of the world, which is this isn't the time to accelerate. This isn't the time to do it. And when they're going that way, you go the other way. The other thing that happens during these times, if you find your lane, you and I have both built tremendous wealth, buying assets in those times that were massively on sale.

• 14:48Ed Mylett?

  And so you have the accelerator of both your brand, your business doing well, and you acquiring things at super discounted prices potentially. So you have this double multiplier whammy.

• 14:57Dean Graziosi?

  Okay. So let me ask you something. You've had so much incredible success. And if we laugh at each other of where we came from, similar backgrounds.

• 15:02Ed Mylett?

  Very similar. Dads, everything.

• 15:05Dean Graziosi?

  At this point, I feel beyond blessed with the success I've had. I know you do too.

• 15:08Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 15:09Dean Graziosi?

  And amazing that the interview you just did, I hope it's your number, I hope the interview before me is your number one interview in history, right?

• 15:15Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 15:17Dean Graziosi?

  But I have a desire to work even harder right now because I know the opportunities that are coming.

• 15:23Ed Mylett?

  Me too.

• 15:23Dean Graziosi?

  It's a mental, like, like I wish I could give it to everyone. Like, I'm like, how do I grind? How do I make another X, X, Y, and Z? Because I know that everything is on sale and everything's gonna be even more deeply discounted. So whatever it takes to motivate you, when everybody's sitting down, freezing, having negative conversations, you should be investigating, look where the puck is going, say, how do I accumulate more cash so I can buy things at a discount? Because when it shifts, that multiplier is unlike anything you could imagine.

• 15:51Ed Mylett?

  Hundred percent.

• 15:51Dean Graziosi?

  You go from doing okay to, when people say, how you doing? You get that smile of like, I'm doing okay.

• 15:57Ed Mylett?

  What's that look like for you right now? Like, are you, do you read certain things? Do you journal? Are you visualizing? Are you looking for problems to solve? Like, what's that look like for you?

• 16:07Dean Graziosi?

  All, all the above. I've been, I've been geeking out on books, different books than I ever had before. Because listen, we all like to learn.

• 16:12Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 16:13Dean Graziosi?

  Right? And we all grow. Um, I'm keeping my mindset super strong, but I think the opportunities are gonna come so strong and we have to be mentally prepared.

• 16:23Ed Mylett?

  I think in times like these, you do need to invest in yourself and grow yourself. If you'd have told me back in 1987, or whenever the heck it was that I got my personal power tapes and I read Unlimited Power by Awaken the Giant with Win and Tony's books, if you'd have told me someone like Dean Graziosi or Tony Robbins would give me their time for free, where I can learn from them, I'd have thought you were absolutely out of your damn mind. And so a couple of things that I think you have to do during this window is you've got to invest in yourself. And if you can surround and change your peer group instantly with the best in the world, you should do it. You and I were talking off camera. You and I are working on right now, me and you, to spend a full day together to strategize about our lives and our businesses. There's a bunch of things that I want to learn from you that you and I have talked about. And so if someone can actually get that time with

• 17:08Ed Mylett?

  you.

• 17:11Ed Mylett?

  For free and with Tony Robbins, that is a monster win. The other thing I'll say is this, great people want to accept challenges. Great people want to be challenged even in their most difficult times. In fact, at this stage in my life, one of the frustrating things for me, Dean, is that, you know, it is a smaller circle. There's very few people who challenge me. So I love when I work out with a training partner and they challenge me. Three more, three more. I'm like, all right, you did three more. I'm doing one more, the power of one more, right? To be challenged. So what you're doing with this challenge, just tell us what it is.

• 17:44Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 17:44Ed Mylett?

  And how they go get part of the challenge. Cause at a minimum, what they're gonna get, this is what I'm fired up about. They're gonna get fed.

• 17:51Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 17:51Ed Mylett?

  They're gonna get.

• 17:52Dean Graziosi?

  A time when you need it.

• 17:53Ed Mylett?

  For, I mean, it's amazing to me that in this day and age, you can get access. People pay a guy like Robbins, millions and millions and millions of dollars to be coached to get a session. They pay me this, they pay you this. Yet the everyday person right now that's out there every day trying to change their life can get access to this stuff for nothing initially. So tell us about it.

• 18:15Dean Graziosi?

  So we, we launched about four years ago to let everybody know. And it was the biggest online event in history. We had 250,000 people show up with unbelievable and started a movement. This year, we're doing the Time to Thrive Challenge. And I'll tell you what that is. This is probably the last year we're doing it because it is a lot of work. It is five days with Tony and I, about three, two to three hours a day. I'd like to say 90 minutes, but Tony goes long. We have amazing guests like our friend Jenna Kutcher and Brendan Burchard and other amazing, even Matthew McConaughey's coming to, because he wrote Greenlight. So over five days, we're doing a time to thrive. We call it time to thrive because it's not a time to sit on your hands. It's not a time to freeze, it's time to thrive. We're calling it a challenge because we're challenging people to take action, challenging them to think differently,

• 18:59Dean Graziosi?

  challenging them to play full out and see for themselves that they could be a part of this industry. And it's happening on August 2nd. And over five days, literally show people how to be in this industry. And it's not kind of free, it's completely free. And if you know Tony, what you do, you guys are friends, you've done a million, you've done podcasts and you, you know, you've had deep conversations. Last year, Tony said, if we're gonna go out, go out with a bang, let's go five days and let's deliver time, let's deliver value in a time when people need it. So what I challenge you to do is just come to the challenge, hang out with us for five days and see if this is for you.

• 19:32Ed Mylett?

  How do they get there?

• 19:33Dean Graziosi?

  Thrive215.com. My team just sent me the URL. It's thrive, T H R I V E, 215.com. Register for free, not kind of free, it's totally free. But here's what I'd encourage you to do. Don't dabble. Just be, sometimes when it's free, people, it's like, ah, it's free, maybe I'll go. Like, pretend you paid five grand. You know, you just said this, I'm not saying, two weeks ago, on a Saturday, I spent one full day with a guy and his company, paid me 250 grand for the day. Right? I'm not saying that to brag, I'm just giving you a point of reference. Tony's got a waiting list that people want to give him a million dollars a year to be his coach. This is free, and it is designed for those to thrive in this shifting world.

• 20:14Ed Mylett?

  Okay, thrive21-

• 20:15Dean Graziosi?

  Five.com.

• 20:16Ed Mylett?

  Okay, so guys, go. Why do you think people are that way about themselves? Let's shift a little bit and stay on this topic, though. What is it about most of us that makes us think we're not worthy of being successful? Because it ties into this, right? I mean, if we can unpack that, I'm gonna go do this. If I don't unpack that, maybe I don't. I've been struck all my life by people that just, like, I, in my case, I'm critical of myself, I'm hard on myself, but I've never had this belief, like, I don't deserve to win. I may not thought I could.

• 20:43Dean Graziosi?

  Right.

• 20:44Ed Mylett?

  I don't know how I'm going to, but I've not had it so all the way back there. I'm like, I just don't deserve to win. Someone like me can't win. I've not ever had that. I've had all the other stuff. But what is it-

• 20:55Dean Graziosi?

  Wow, that's, that's such a good, as you say that, I've never felt that either. I always felt the cards might be stacked against me, this one's gonna be rough, not sure I can get through it.

• 21:02Ed Mylett?

  Me too.

• 21:03Dean Graziosi?

  I've, I've had sleepless nights, a lot of them. I've gone, I've gone six months with sleep in two, three hours a night, because I'm stressed, and, you know, my wake up and my brain's thinking, thinking, thinking. I like to share that with people, because I think when they see success, they think, man, that was just probably a harmonious ride for you, right? I went through a divorce in the middle of it. Like, I've been through a lot of the things on the opposite side, right?

• 21:22Ed Mylett?

  But you've also worked with millions of people, and you know that a lot of them suffer from this.

• 21:25Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, they do, but you just said that, I've never felt I didn't deserve it. And, and I would say it's, I think it's society, and especially, we live in a society right now, where- When you're successful, there's a lot of people that look at it as a negative, right? So we almost have this negative association to sales. We have a negative association to success. But I always, here's the last thing I'll say about it. I always, I said this one time on stage randomly and the audience went nuts, but I just said,

• 21:53Dean Graziosi?

  when it comes to money and success, it's like you're at a therapist, money's on one chair, you're on the other, therapist is in the middle and you go, "I hate that money. If I get that money, I might change, I might be a horrible person." And then in the other part, you're like, "But I need that money so I can have freedom and take care of my family and I need control and I don't want to work in this horrible job anymore." Could you imagine a therapist saying, "Well, we gotta get this straight. Do you hate money in that chair? Or do you love money? I'm really unsure." And I think that's the conflict. I think the conflict is we think, I think money and alcohol just expose and compound who you are. You're a jerk sober, you're a real jerk drunk, right? You're violent sober, you're very violent, right? Same with, same with money. And I think,

• 22:34Dean Graziosi?

  I think if you're listening to Ed Mylett, you have to realize that money is a byproduct of service and what money can do is, listen, when people say to me, "Money doesn't buy happiness," I say, "You haven't given enough away." Right? When I was on your stage, I was compelled, I was compelled by you. I watched your emotions behind camera when you were talking about the families in Texas. I was compelled. Do you know how great? You're thanking me, what, like, you're thanking me for something that filled my heart. You know how great, you know what $50,000 was to me at 18? I thought if I could make that a year, I'd be the richest man alive. And to be able to sit on stage and say, "Hey, Ed, let's, let me give you another 50 grand." But at the same time, I built two schools in Africa, I fed 7 million people, right?

• 23:16Dean Graziosi?

  I donated $600,000 last year to Operation Underground Railroad. How blessed are we that we get to do those things, right? So I don't know, you know, earlier I said, you know, Tony, I like when he says, "Get leverage." I said, "Get in the right mindset." If, if you feel that being successful, that you don't deserve it, or that money is bad, I'm gonna tell you to dig into that. Find out where that is. Ask yourself, one of the simplest ways I always do is ask yourself why seven times. Why, why do I think I don't deserve it? Uh, I'm not that smart. Or why do I think not being smart has anything to do with being successful? And just keep asking why over and over again and you'll get to a point where you'll start getting emotional and be like, "Everything I just shared is [bleep]."

• 23:57Ed Mylett?

  Really, really good, because it's a story we, you're the best at talking about the story we tell ourselves.

• 24:05Ed Mylett?

  Let's stay on this just for a second because I feel like all of this is tied together in order to participate in the challenge. And also every week, I want people on here to change their life every single week. It's why I do the show. You know, like I said, there's only been two humans come back here three times, you and Dr. Joe Dispenza. And because I just think that you, you work on this story thing so well with people. So I have this new show, as you know, coming out, I can't say a lot about it, but it's, it's a show where I intervene in people's lives. It'll be out the end of August, beginning of September. And one of the ladies on the show had gained a bunch of weight, like 180 pounds. And, uh, and then had lost like 90 of it, gained it back and did that a couple of times. And in the middle of it, I said, let me, why do you have all this weight on your body? And I said, there's two things. I said, one, you have the identity,

• 24:48Ed Mylett?

  she adopted the identity of a heavy person who happened to have lost weight. And in that case, she's going to get back to that identity. So she was a heavy person who lost weight. I said, I won't say her name, but I said, we have to adopt that you're a healthy, beautiful, vibrant woman who's gained weight. And if we can switch this identity, switch that narrative.

• 25:07Dean Graziosi?

  Like in chapter two, I think about the thermostat, right? The same thing. You shifted a certain thermostat.

• 25:11Ed Mylett?

  Shifting this story. And then later I said, listen, we don't do anything in our life that there's not some benefit for, even if the majority of it is detrimental. So this story you're all telling yourself, those of you that suffer from it, you don't deserve it. You're doing that for a reason that you get something for doing it. And in her case, she said, I think I hide in my weight. That as I start to lose the weight, maybe people are going to see other things in me that I don't think I can handle. And it was really this very emotional breakthrough. I want people to watch the show. So I'm not gonna get, there's 10 of them, but what about that? That this story we tell ourselves, Dean, even though it may not serve us, there's some service in it that we can hide in it. That it masks other things in our lives. And I think for everyone listening to this right now, this could be the breakthrough moment of your life

• 25:56Ed Mylett?

  as we just talk about this concept. This thing you keep telling you about you that holds you back from jumping into a challenge, holds you back from starting a business, holds you back from getting into that relationship or getting fit like you know you should, or asking yourself the right questions. You're getting something from it, even if massive, most of it. Negative for you. How does one, just in general, start to change the story they tell themselves about their life? Cause you're the master.

• 26:20Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, well, you know, and I know if you're, if you're listening to Ed Mylett, you've heard this before. You have other people talk about it, but I think it's, maybe this is the first time you get to really feel it. Or maybe the silly version that I'm going to give you sticks with you. And if this is why you're here today, this is why you're here. Here's the way I look at it. We need pain sometimes to disconnect from a story. You know, somebody asked me about success once, and I would love to say I was always aspirational. I wanted more. I didn't want to be like my dad and struggle and be like my mom who worked three jobs to make 90 bucks. And I had this vision of something bigger and better and being in control of my life. And all those things sound good at this phase. Sometimes you gotta go to the dark side. I just didn't want to be them. My father was miserable and fought with everyone.

• 27:05Dean Graziosi?

  And he'd be in love for six months and be divorced within three and always mad. And sometimes you gotta give your permission, give yourself permission. When I went in my toughest thing, when I needed the extra boost, the turbo boost to get off the ground. I'm like, you're going to end up like your dad. You're going to end up broke. You're going to end up alone. You're going to end up not in control of your life. Someone else is going to tell you how to raise your kids and how to dress and when to go to work. I would, I would push myself. So sometimes you gotta go to the dark side to get the momentum. And I'm, I'm telling you to use that to shift your story.

• 27:38Ed Mylett?

  Very good.

• 27:38Dean Graziosi?

  Right? So, so I'm, you know, Tony always says to get the rocket off the ground, all the energies in the first couple of feet. And then once it gets in space, you hit the button, you're a thousand miles an hour, right? Do whatever it takes to get the rocket off the ground, if to start the new business, to say I'm worthy, to shift the story. If it's pain that'll drive you, then use the pain because half of us run away from pain. Half of us run towards pleasure. We know that. You, you use the one that you're accustomed to and amplify it, right?

• 28:05Ed Mylett?

  My gosh, that's profound.

• 28:05Dean Graziosi?

  So amplify the pain.

• 28:07Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 28:07Dean Graziosi?

  Most people, Joe Dispenza would probably tell you not to do that. And I love that guy. And I'm glad you had him three times, but I needed that. Secondly, you know, the story, if you think back, I could have made it, but, or I would do it, or. That's how you find this, the number one thing. I'm, I'm, you know, I don't have the money. I don't have the time. My family thinks I'm nuts. I could never do something like this. I'm an introvert. I don't have a following. I don't know what that is, but here's the way I look at it. If you spend enough time today, and this is my quick hack on stories. If you spend enough time today, you can find the one thing. There's lots of them, but you can find the one that's probably held you back the most. So the two things I would say is, go look at what it's already cost you.

• 28:50Dean Graziosi?

  Again, this is personal development 101. I don't want to act like I made this up, but I want to remind you today, we all need reminder services. This story, this thing, this too young, too old, not money. It's already cost you pain. You already missed opportunities. You already let the ship go down the track, the train go down the tracks. You didn't start the business. You didn't go for the relationship. You didn't fix that thing and it's already cost you a lot. So what I say, here's a cool way to look at it. It'd be like two armies. You already know the story that will come up when you decide to go all in. When you say, you know, I don't care about, I'm going, I'm starting the business. I'm scaling the business. I'm not gonna, you already know the army that's coming. You already know the story that's gonna go, ah, ah, ah, at little Eddie.

• 29:34Dean Graziosi?

  You know, come on, Ed, you know, you know where you came. You know what your house looked like when you were little. You know, you weren't that good in school. You know, you cheated in ninth grade. You know, you cheated your way through. I'm making this up.

• 29:43Ed Mylett?

  No, pretty close.

• 29:44Dean Graziosi?

  But it's,

• 29:44Ed Mylett?

  Biology.

• 29:45Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 29:47Dean Graziosi?

  Accounting.

• 29:49Dean Graziosi?

  So if you use the dark or the light, whatever you need to get the engine going. If you identify the story that's already cost you and you really think about it, it becomes painful. But here's the thing, as you think about this next thing you want to do, you want to thrive in a shifting economy. If that story's coming, it's like you're going to war, but the scout went out and you know that the other army is two days away. You know what kind of guns they have. You know how kind of horses you have. You already, here's the thing, you already know your enemy. So if you're not preparing and fortifying and creating the things that block the enemy, then you're kind of inviting the story back. So you could be, you know, how many Uber drivers have you had? I haven't been in Uber in a while, but before COVID, when you were in Uber,

• 30:33Dean Graziosi?

  how many Uber drivers that you say, oh, man, I was, I was on my way, Dean. I see, I love your books and oh, seven, when the market shifted, I lost my business. I'm just said to hell with, you know, many of those stories I've heard?

• 30:43Ed Mylett?

  Me too.

• 30:43Dean Graziosi?

  What they've done is they let that army. Come in, that story come in because at least they have something.

• 30:50Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 30:50Dean Graziosi?

  And what I want to tell you is if you really want more, you know your enemy. The number one enemy is that story that's held you back. You can fortify the gates. You can decide to turn that story around and you cannot let it in.

• 31:02Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, by the way, I, let's stay on this, everyone. This is like kind of breakthrough stuff, even though you, you, I want you to hear me on this. There's a lot of talk in personal development about breaking patterns. I talk about it all the time, you do, Tony does. There's also a lot of power in leveraging them. And this idea, there's two things that are going to move every human being, Dean's told you. It's either to avoid pain, moving from pain, or to gain pleasure.

• 31:25Dean Graziosi?

  Absolutely.

• 31:25Ed Mylett?

  And usually, most human beings, I, I think in general, pain avoidance is the stronger of the mechanism. But it works for both people. You need to know which one moves you. So you've already said, yours is pain avoidance.

• 31:36Dean Graziosi?

  Yep.

• 31:36Ed Mylett?

  Right, so is mine. The truth is, I've become a pretty big dreamer visionary guy, but I wasn't.

• 31:41Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, it took me a long time to get there.

• 31:42Ed Mylett?

  Long time to get there. And the fact is, I only really got really good at that after certain dreams were achieved. But why? I had to figure out which one moves me more. Okay, avoiding pain moves me more, even to this day. Why? It's more familiar to me.

• 31:55Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 31:56Ed Mylett?

  I grew up in pain. So go take a look at the video of your life. Did you grow up in a really beautiful environment with lots of love and dreams and bliss and all this great stuff? Maybe your mover is more dreams and bliss. If you grew up in some pain, chaos, angst, fear, anxiety, stress, that's probably your pattern. And instead of trying to spend all your life breaking that pattern, there's parts of it you need to break, your behavior from it. But the mechanism itself for change for me is pain. And pain avoidance, I'm familiar with lots of pain. And so, to this day, why do I prepare for speeches or podcasts or things so bad? Is it because I want the pleasure of a great podcast? Yeah, that's there.

• 32:33Dean Graziosi?

  You don't want to screw up?

• 32:33Ed Mylett?

  I don't want to screw up.

• 32:34Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 32:35Ed Mylett?

  I don't want to make a mistake. I don't want it not to be good. Why do I work so hard? Is to make difference in the world, obviously.

• 32:40Dean Graziosi?

  You, I don't think anybody listening would know the kind of work you put in it. Seriously.

• 32:44Ed Mylett?

  Or you either.

• 32:45Dean Graziosi?

  I, I don't think they'd know that you started at 3:30, going to do four podcasts, then you're going to jump, you're going to go take a suit, you're going to go do an event tonight, you're going to get up in the morning, fly someplace. I don't think anybody would realize it. Are you doing that because you want to sell more books? Or are you doing it because you don't want to sell just one?

• 32:58Ed Mylett?

  I'm doing it because I don't want to just sell one.

• 33:00Dean Graziosi?

  Right. And now, now you've evolved because you know every time a book gets in someone's hand, you get to change their lives.

• 33:05Ed Mylett?

  I do. So you just nailed it. I was just gonna say the other part of it is impact for me.

• 33:07Dean Graziosi?

  Right. So you know the impact.

• 33:08Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 33:09Dean Graziosi?

  But you're not saying, but I know for a fact you're getting up tomorrow morning subconsciously.

• 33:13Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 33:14Dean Graziosi?

  Not saying, I'm getting up tomorrow because I don't want to. You're getting up subconsciously because you don't want to fail.

• 33:18Ed Mylett?

  I don't.

• 33:18Dean Graziosi?

  That pain hurts.

• 33:19Ed Mylett?

  It's a major.

• 33:20Dean Graziosi?

  And everybody told us we weren't going to make it and our parents probably thought we weren't going to make it and all that kind of stuff.

• 33:24Ed Mylett?

  It's a major driver. And by the way, my impact, stay with me on this because I know you're this way too because you grew up in pain. The impact I make still comes from pain, meaning this, I know so many people are in pain and because I connect with their pain, their lack of belief in themselves, they're feeling invisible, they're hurting right now, they want to be happier. That connection of pain is still the impact I want to make. So a lot of it is connected somehow to pain in my life and it is for you too. It's like one is avoiding the pain of failing or not being successful or not ending up in heaven, which is that picture of who I'm capable of becoming. Like, do I really want to just get to heaven or is it the pain of not becoming that man? It's both. But also even the impact part where I go, I want to make an impact in people's lives is because I connect with pain. I connect with the discomfort.

• 34:08Dean Graziosi?

  And you want to get it out of them.

• 34:09Ed Mylett?

  I want to get it out of them.

• 34:10Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 34:11Ed Mylett?

  So that's a major driver for me is pain and I know my map and I know my pattern. And that's why so many athletes, by the way, when their career is over. They have a very difficult time. One, their identity was tied to their athleticism, but also there's no pain to avoid anymore. Now they're getting pat on the back. You were great. I loved your games. There's no pain to avoid. There's nothing to feel. So I gotta think you're that way too.

• 34:29Dean Graziosi?

  I am. And, and the only reason I share that is because I hope you don't use pain to be successful for the rest of your life. But you can use it as that launching pad.

• 34:39Ed Mylett?

  Yep, it's a leverage.

• 34:40Dean Graziosi?

  And you can use as a launching pad to start the business, to show up for the challenge, to play full out, to do something uncomfortable, right? The, the term I've been using since COVID is we all need to take more uncomfortable action.

• 34:50Ed Mylett?

  Did it surprise you that I said I don't want to just sell one book or did you think that's what I was gonna say?

• 34:53Dean Graziosi?

  I knew that's what you were gonna say.

• 34:54Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 34:54Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah. Because it's me, right? I play like I'm 10 points down. Tony and I are doing this challenge, right? We're gonna put a million people in it. That's the goal. Last year we put 900,000 in, right? And it changed a million people's lives, right? This year, I attacked this, Ed, as if two people are gonna show up. Because I know if you show up, I know the end result. I saw hundreds of thousands of comments a day of like, "Oh, my God, I didn't know it was gonna be like this." "Oh, my God, I love you, Tony. I love you, Dean. I love you. Thank you, thank you." And you know that driver, just like the comments, "I see the comments coming in for your book. You wanna sell another 200,000 copies in the next two weeks so you can help people." I will play like I'm 10 points down through this entire challenge. I will rehearse.

• 35:37Dean Graziosi?

  I've already watched the last two years that we did this. I watched what Tony did. I watched what I did. He's doing the same thing. We're prepping. If people are gonna show up, even if we wanna deliver something that's transformational, but I'm gonna look through the lens of not wanting to fail still. Because that's how, that's the, I'm avoiding the pain of it not working at the level of the impact that I wanna make.

• 35:58Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 35:59Dean Graziosi?

  Right? And I know we went down a couple of different rabbit holes, but I just wanna give people permission today, heading into a recession, heading into a shifting world. Again, I hope it doesn't, but it looks like an economic winter is here. I'm gonna tell you, use whatever leverage you can use to move.

• 36:15Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 36:16Dean Graziosi?

  Just move in a direction. Investigate. Look where the puck is going. Look for something different. Explore, question every story that comes into your head. Know your enemy, that story that's already screwed you over and cost you too much. You know that. How do you shift that story? How do you barricade it? How do you not let it in? How do you talk to someone? Like, whatever you gotta do. I just believe this is an crucial time.

• 36:41Ed Mylett?

  I do too, in people's lives. I think that what you do the next, there's this analogy in anti-aging. David Sinclair, Dr. David Sinclair's been on my show a few times. And he goes, "Hey, if you can get to like 75 in this day and age, you're probably gonna live to 100, if you can get to 75." And in the world today, I really believe that if you can get this next two years nailed.

• 37:01Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 37:02Ed Mylett?

  You've got 20 year type multipliers of wealth, bliss and happiness in your life. If you can get the, but if you don't these next two years. I think the difficulty of getting there is magnified by a huge factor. I think right now is a chance to get way ahead. That same analogy to get to 75 gets you to 100. If you can get these next two years, just momentum. You have to make millions of dollars, but you just get momentum. You get in your groove, you get moving, but if you stay stagnant, another couple of years, you don't get something going. The longer you do that, it's harder to get that sucker going again. And I feel like it'll be much harder. Those people that get moving now, they get, and by the way, it might evolve. You may start marketing one thing right now and it evolves into something else over time, but you've got to get in motion right now. Do you agree with that?

• 37:43Dean Graziosi?

  Oh, true story. I heard somebody say it's a strategic byproduct. How many times in life have we had a goal? And when we have the nerve to go after the goal, we find something that's a strategic byproduct, the goal that's way bigger. Way bigger. You never thought you'd have one of the top podcasts in the world, one of the top books in the world. It's a strategic byproduct of you going all in on your businesses, wanting to impact others.

• 38:03Ed Mylett?

  Great point.

• 38:04Dean Graziosi?

  Right? So know that when, whether it's God, the universe rewards you for just having the nerve to go after it. And usually your goal, you're something so much bigger or something different that actually aligns with you. There's a couple of things I, I, I think as we, as we're at this point in the podcast, I want to say this is a couple of things. If you're going to protect yourself, build a moat. Build a moat on your emotions and, and what I'd say is the news is going to get worse. That's a fact. Conversations with your negative friends is going to get worse. That's a fact. I would say if you really want to stop dabbling, you know, it's somebody who said they want to lose weight, but when no one's watching, they're, they're eating the wrong food. Or someone says they want to start the business, but when no one's watching, they're binging out on Netflix.

• 38:48Dean Graziosi?

  You know, if you're that person and I'm not knocking you, if that's who you are, enjoy it, live it, but don't say you want it. Don't talk out of two sides of your mouth. Like either go all in, burn the boats and do it, or just accept the life that you have. Like I, I hate to be real, but you can't lose weight and not work out and eat bad. Like it just doesn't, or you can't make more money, have Ed's life or someone else's life that you see. You can't have that without putting the work in. So if you're going to put the work in, you have to have the mindset to be committed and dedicated to it. Right? We have to be disciplined. What robs discipline is lack of confidence, insecurity, uncertainty, whatever word you want to use. So here's what I'm gonna share. What are the things that make you uncertain or lack of confidence? I would build a moat around those things. If there's certain people in your life that are gonna make you feel insecure,

• 39:31Dean Graziosi?

  believe me, it's gonna feel worse during a recession and tough time. Spend less time with them or find a way to be a mirror or be a Teflon. If watching the news, whether it's CNN, MSNBC, or Fox, whatever one you want to watch. If when you watch the news, you get frustrated, you get scared, you get uncertain, you get pissed off. Stop watching the news. You need that energy for you. So what I'd say is I would figure out the things that rob your confidence and rob your certainty. And this is gonna sound like, oh, Dean's really smart. Is do less of those. Like especially over this next year. You want to like, you want to take a challenge? Go on a 30-day news diet. Don't talk about it. Don't watch the news. Don't talk and spend 100% of that energy on you 2.0. Spend, take the next 30 days and do not surf the internet.

• 40:14Dean Graziosi?

  All of you are getting sucked into, uh, let me just see what Ed Mylett did. And an hour later, you're like, oh, my God, I just burned an hour online, right? I would say just find the things. Avoid the things that rob your confidence. Don't talk to the negative people that are hurting you. Don't focus on your weaknesses. Identify who your villain is, who that inner, that inner story that's already cost you too much and protect yourself against it. Investigate to where the puck is going. You do those things and this time you're ahead of 95% of the world and they're simple. That's not, I didn't give you a business plan. I gave you just the, the foundation of, of what can make you thrive in this shifting time.

• 40:51Ed Mylett?

  When I hear you say all those things, I think about energy. I think about do things that preserve and increase your energy and don't deplete them. So if there's people around you that rob your energy, you gotta reduce it. If there's things you're doing that take your energy, whether it's worry, fear, surfing the internet, watching news, those other things. Energy, you know, and we all talk about it. I don't know who's first at it or whatever, but energy is influence. We've talked about this a lot. Tony talks about it a lot. You do, I do. And energy is also the most important commodity you can possibly have in your life. And you're going to watch a bunch of people, whether you call it words, thoughts, et cetera. You're going to watch a lot of people, starting now, through the next two or three years of their lives. You're going to watch their energy change.

• 41:28Dean Graziosi?

  Yep.

• 41:29Ed Mylett?

  You're going to watch their vibrational frequency shrink. You're going to watch them shrink. And that's incumbent upon you to feed your energy right now. That's podcasts, that's books, that's events, that's a challenge like what you're doing right now with Tony. You gotta feed your energy. Highest energy wins. Highest energy will win.

• 41:45Dean Graziosi?

  Amen to that.

• 41:47Ed Mylett?

  And I'm going to tell you, everyone's energy is going to evolve and change. It is difficult when everyone's thriving. Why? Everyone's energy is pretty damn good. High energy will stand out now. Positive energy, optimistic energy, movement energy, is momentum energy is going to stand out more than ever. And you're going to see energy change in your investments, in your mindset, in your businesses, all over the place. So I want one shift at the end because it's for me. And I told you, when we were getting ready to do this, I said, I want to ask you, this is, seems uncorrelated, but it's not. It's totally correlated because it comes from a pain point from you. And it comes from a place of, of a sanctuary that can preserve and increase energy, which is personal relationships.

• 42:32Ed Mylett?

  And so particularly your marriage to Lisa. So you've been honest on my show before. And by the way, this is completely correlated to everything we said. Because you said on the show before in the past, hey, man, first time around, probably didn't have that thing wired the right way.

• 42:47Dean Graziosi?

  Yep.

• 42:47Ed Mylett?

  At some point, I knew I wasn't probably with the right person for me, wonderful person, but not right person for me. I wasn't a world-class husband.

• 42:53Dean Graziosi?

  Yep.

• 42:53Ed Mylett?

  You've, you've said this before. And you are a world-class husband to Lisa.

• 42:58Dean Graziosi?

  It's also a true story.

• 42:59Ed Mylett?

  It is. When I think of you, and by the way, you're easily one of the most brilliant business minds I've ever met. You are probably the best. Marketing mind, I know. And you're a very diverse man between your understanding of real estate, human dynamics, interpersonal relationships, energy, influence, I mean, all the different business markets that you're in, you're a very unique man. And I, you know, I hold you in the highest regard. You're one of the few people on the earth that I call for counsel in certain areas. So, obviously.

• 43:29Dean Graziosi?

  Same to you, brother.

• 43:29Ed Mylett?

  Thank you. And of all that, I don't admire you anywhere nearly as much for those things as I do for the kind of husband and father that you are. And I think one of the, I think you show me the quality of your relationships. I think Tony was the first to say that. I'll show you the quality of your life. You have such a massive high quality of life. And I believe that's because of your relationship with Lisa and your children. Why is it so good? In other words, what's been the key from you going to be a not very good husband the first time around, to like, if I think of the list of the best husbands I know that have the best, real intimate, loving, real, not perfect, relationships with people. I don't know that you don't occur first on my list. You know, maybe there's two or three

• 44:12Ed Mylett?

  people that all come up at the same time, but you come up on that list. What's been the key for that? And how important is it to your, your outward success in business? Cause there's a correlation from when you met her to millions and millions more dollars in your bank account, too.

• 44:25Dean Graziosi?

  It is. And, and I have to thank you for saying that. And you're, you're so kind, Ed. It's why your, your podcast does so great. You truly serve from your heart. And thank you for the kind words. My wife's gonna listen to this podcast and smile from ear to ear. She loves you, brother. She's, she's binging on your podcast right now. I'll tell you, first, first thing I'll share, just like a business, is if you have the nerve to recognize that the reason your business might not have worked, or your marriage might not have worked, or your relationship might not have worked, if you're, if you have the self-awareness and the nerve to look in the mirror and say, it was probably you, even if it wasn't all you. But if you have the nerve to say that. And I remember going through divorce and freaking out because, and I won't go deep on this, because I think I shared it on a previous one, but I was freaking out before my kids, because I was a child

• 45:10Dean Graziosi?

  of divorce, and I didn't want them to feel, you know, you know, you get it, right?

• 45:14Ed Mylett?

  Totally.

• 45:16Dean Graziosi?

  I was freaking out about that. And then I remember thinking to myself, I wrote down a list of what was unacceptable in a new relationship, what, what could not be and what could be. And on my, on my could list, Ed, was I need someone that, that loves a crazy entrepreneur, that's into health, that's into personal growth, someone who will love my children as if they're their own. That's, that's a task for a step person, a step parent, right? And I, I wrote down this long list of all the things that were a must. And something hit me in that list. And I'm like, damn, I have nerve to ask for that. Right? And in a moment, I recognized that for me to attract that, I had to become a better man. It had

• 46:00Dean Graziosi?

  nothing to do with finding the perfect woman. I had to be the better man to attract that type of woman. And I worked on me. I got a love coach. I, I unlocked the, the, you know, holding back the full extent of love and all, all the things we could share. But here's what I would say when it comes to relationships. Um, just this, you know, advice only from a guy that knows he messed up in the past, but I am in the greatest relationship in my life, is imagine never keeping the couple of things that came out of what I realized. Imagine never keeping score in a relationship. Imagine having the nerve and the confidence to just go, I'm going to be the best version of me and I hope I get it back. And not say, you know, I've been, I've been doing, I watch relationships unravel

• 46:44Dean Graziosi?

  when someone says, the husband says, I work my tail off. I provide for her. She doesn't have to worry about anything. She doesn't have to pay the bills. She has someone to clean her house. She does all this. And I come home and, and she's, you know, no dinner, keeping score. Right? You're keeping score. And when you start keeping score, soon as you start keeping score and it's not even, how do you go to bed that night and be intimate? How do you, how do you have passionate connection if you're keeping score and thinking, I'm doing more than her? Or I'm taking care of the house. He has no idea what it's like to, to juggle two kids and take care of all this stuff. And he's out flying around, having fun, do, you know, he's working, but at least he gets to be out. I'm stuck in the house. Man, there's the intimacy's gone. Right? And then once the intimacy's gone, then people

• 47:27Dean Graziosi?

  start thinking, man, someone else would love the way I work, someone else the way I take care of things. Right? So one is not keeping score. Here's the toughest one.

• 47:34Ed Mylett?

  That's big.

• 47:34Dean Graziosi?

  Here's the toughest one. Imagine, I know this is gonna sound crazy and some of you are gonna be like, "Yeah, whatever, dreamer." Imagine feeling love when you give it, rather than when you receive it. I fell in love with making my wife feel loved. I love for that woman to look at me and she, like, there's five people in the room and she looks over and I'm staring at her like she's, like, I just saw her for the first time and she catches me and I watch her face. We've been together five and a half years. I could stare at my wife when she doesn't realize it and if she catches me, her cheeks will get red, like she gets nervous even to that and she's like, "Like, what are you looking at? What are you looking at?" And she'll come over and she's like, "You, right? I found, it took me years, I found a way to feel love when I make her feel loved.

• 48:17Dean Graziosi?

  So I don't need her to love me back, but the, but here's the thing, right? Because I don't keep score, my wife tries to outdo me. Because I give, I feel love when I give her love, she tries to give me more love, right? And I know, maybe that takes the right partner and you might be thinking to yourself, "Yeah, Dean, you found the right partner." I, I, I would say I have an amazing woman, but I also know that I did all the opposite crap in the, in the previous one. And, and this is, I'm gonna steal this from Tony. One of the best advice I ever heard was, imagine if you treated the end of a relationship like the beginning. Would there actually be an end? You remember in the beginning of a relationship, you're like, everything's bliss and you're all in and you're listening, eye contact, and you wouldn't dare look at your phone at dinner.

• 49:00Dean Graziosi?

  And now you're three years in and at dinner she wants to tell you about what happened with the kids thing and you're like, "Yeah, let me just, what was that? Hold on, babe, let me just look at my phone one second." Would you have ever done that in the first week of your relationship or on a first date? And that, just that hit me and people a lot of times will ask me, it's like, "I don't know where my relationship is." I'm like, "What if for the next 90 days, you just went all in? And pretended like you guys just met and you were dating again? At the end of 90 days, you might have a completely different situation." Yeah.

• 49:27Ed Mylett?

  It's so good. You are so good.

• 49:30Dean Graziosi?

  I don't know.

• 49:30Ed Mylett?

  Bed your business life, having that part of it?

• 49:33Dean Graziosi?

  Not even a question. Like, the funny part is so many people say to me, what happened to you like four years ago? Man, you just got more dynamic, you're more confident on stage. It was definitely that because the last thing I'll say is on this is I had more, I've had more success than I could have ever dreamed possible. A good zillion times more than what my dreams were. I have two, I now three and a fourth on the way, but I had two amazing children that were just humble and sweet and kind. And my business is thriving and good friends, but I didn't have love in my life and I didn't have connection and I wasn't a good husband. Right? Because I wasn't happy. And I probably, when you're incongruent,

• 50:14Dean Graziosi?

  when not all things in your life are lined up, I never could have understood the power that while I was in it, I just said, no, I should be happy. No, my relationship isn't great, but we co-parent good and we got great kids and the business is good and we got the great house. I just wasn't in alignment. I was kind of living a lie.

• 50:29Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 50:29Dean Graziosi?

  And when I finally shed that, and now I get to be the man, like, and I know you know me, but man, imagine the wish that if anybody put a hidden camera on you for a week, and then your wife, your friends and the world could watch it and go, wow, same guy on camera, same guy on a podcast, same guy when no one was watching.

• 50:48Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 50:49Dean Graziosi?

  That congruency has taken the restrictions off. My business has doubled, my life has doubled, my happiness has doubled. I've attracted dear people in my life like you and other people because I think that I just get to be me at all times.

• 51:03Ed Mylett?

  Beautiful, brother. Gosh, it's so good. I got one last question for you and I want you to answer this in all sincerity. I know you always do, but this is a biggie. Is it all it's cracked up to be? Let me tell you what I mean by it. You know, having a loving relationship, becoming a wealthy man, you know, making the contribution you make is a tremendous amount of work. And there's gonna be a season in one's life where it's not all those things and you're gonna be working and working and working. And there's this part, when you're doing it, you're like, is it even really worth it? Is it even really worth it? Because I think oftentimes, we've all met that one rich person who's also miserable, which there's a lot of them. They get a lot of money and you're like, I don't even wanna be like them. You know,

• 51:48Ed Mylett?

  I was a server, I was a busboy at the whole enchilada in Diamond Bar when I was in high school and college. And it seemed like a lot of the guys with money that came in were the bigger jerks. And it started to make me think, I don't even know if that's worth it, you know? And the reason that it seemed like, because the real rich guys didn't act like rich guys. So when they'd come in, I didn't know it was that guy. But I went through a phase of my life that I think, because you're on the other side, it's easy to forget. But I think there's a lot of people that are considering coming to this challenge, considering changing their life. They're considering it. And then there is a part of them where they're like, I don't know if it's worth it. So I'm being, I'm gonna get you to answer this honestly. Is it? Or is

• 52:30Ed Mylett?

  it different than you thought it would be getting to this other side? You're on the other side. You don't feel like you are, but you are. You're very wealthy. You got a beautiful family. You know, you make a difference in the world. You got rich friendships. Your life's not perfect. You know, the day to day of life can be really difficult for all of us. But was it worth it? And what's it feel like to get to the other side? Sell us the dream or the nightmare of it?

• 52:50Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah. Beyond worth it, but questioning it, I've questioned it on and off since the beginning. And there are only moments of questioning it. And then you get clarity and realize the other side. So here's what I'd say, is if someone's listening to you, Ed, what you've done, and I want to say this publicly, what you've done so elegantly to help the world see, is that your visibility, your notoriety, your podcast being the top podcast, your book, people get to see someone who's been wealthy, or is wealthy, and also an amazing human being.

• 53:25Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 53:26Dean Graziosi?

  And success without fulfillment, success without joy, success without balance, is probably the brokest you could be. So here's what I'd say. Where I'm fortunate, is I started working on me at the same time I was working on making money.

• 53:43Dean Graziosi?

  And I think that is the gift I would, I would love to share with all of you. I believe all of you, every single one of you has the desire, has the opportunity to make unlimited amount of money. I know that sounds, it's easy like, it's easy for you to say now, Dean, but believe me, if Ed can make it, Dean can make it. We all have this amazing opportunity. But I'd say work on you as much as you work on marketing, as much as you work on sales. Because when you find that harmonious balance, and you know, we both, I, you probably too, I've been off, I've had more money than emotional intelligence. Me too. And right, and that's not a cool thing. And there's some people have great emotional intelligence, but they can't make any choices. And they're like, they want to do more, they want to donate more, they want to travel more, they want to retire their husband. So they, he has to stop working this crappy job.

• 54:26Dean Graziosi?

  So they have the emotional intelligence, but they don't have the money to give them the freedom. That harmonious balance of two, I mean, it's the greatest gift you could give anyone. It's why, it's why we're doing a free challenge. It's why Tony, listen, you don't have to work, Tony doesn't have to work. I'm blessed, I know that sounds like, hey, we're a bunch of rich people. It's not that, like, I'm working harder now than I've ever worked in my life. And I have more now than I've ever had in my life. Because I want other people to see that you can have this rich balance. Where you can have, I mean, I just got here, I don't want to get a spoiler alert, but I just, I just got to meet your kids for the first time. Yeah. Right, I met your wife a bunch of times, I got to see your kids. And, and watching that you get to bring this family, that you shifted this generation. You have two humble children. Thank you. It will, you will always question it. Problems will never go away.

• 55:11Dean Graziosi?

  One thing I want to say, you will just get better at handling bigger problems. You want to make more, handle bigger problems, right? So you will handle problems more, you will get, you will turn into someone who wants the bigger problems. Cause you know, there's a bigger paycheck on the other side of bigger, you solve a bigger problem, you get paid more, right? So problems won't go away, I'll tell you that, you'll just handle them more. Like you said in your book, and like Jim Rohn said, for things to get better, you gotta get better, right? So you'll get better at doing those things. You will have times where you question it. But every day in my life, I wake up and I'm so effing grateful that I get the freedom to do what I want to do, to coach the Little League, to drive my kids to school, to do what I want, when I want to do it. And that's, that's the ultimate freedom and I would die for it, Ed.

• 55:56Ed Mylett?

  A great answer. I'm so proud of you. Uh, where do they get the challenge again? Tell me one more time.

• 56:01Dean Graziosi?

  Thrive215.com. And here's what I'd say, don't mess around. I, I know we didn't talk about it much and Ed and I, we, we haven't seen each other in a long time. So we covered everything on this podcast, but if there's one thing I really want you to hear is we do five days. We may never do it again. I promise you the byproduct of these five days is that you will feel different and you will be ready to thrive in this shifting world. We will address all of it. We got some amazing special guests. Tony's fired up. Uh, it's going to be spectacular. It's August 2nd. It's about 90 minutes to three hours a day. Um, go to thrive215.com and reserve a spot.

• 56:35Ed Mylett?

  All right, guys. Dean, thank you. Today was unbelievable. You can go back for the fourth time anytime you want to, brother.

• 56:40Dean Graziosi?

  I love you. Appreciate you.

• 56:41Ed Mylett?

  I love you, man. I'm so proud of you. I'm so grateful that we're friends. All right, everybody. Hey, listen, I hope you enjoyed today's show. You should share this with anybody whose life you would like to make better. Who would like to be happier, more successful. Share today's show with them. Number one show in the world for a reason. Make sure you get the power of one more. Get an extra one, get an extra copy, get the audiobook. You can listen to me do it on audio. You can listen to my voice. Probably sick of it by now, but get some more of this voice you're sick of. All right, guys. God bless you. Max out.