Ordinary Steps For An Extraordinary Wealthy Life w/ Candy Valentino

Remember who you are. Remember that you survived 100% of your worst days because you’re still here…” This week, my guest, CANDY VALENTINO, and I will talk about a subject near and dear to everyone’s heart. That subject is MONEY. How to MAKE IT. How to KEEP IT. The kind of MINDSET you’ll need. And whether the accumulation of wealth is WORTH IT or not. I want you to hear Candy’s story because she started out like most people…with little more than GRIT, DETERMINATION, and unwavering CONFIDENCE. Candy is the REAL DEAL. She’s been successfully building businesses since she was 19. And doing so with NO DEGREE, NO CORPORATE BACKGROUND, NO MONEY, and NO INTERNET ACCESS! Since then, she’s built and sold businesses in service, retail, e-commerce, and product manufacturing, creating a vast real estate portfolio as a flipper and investor. Pay close attention because in the hour we spend together, you will get a TACTICAL MASTER CLASS in creating wealth and using it for GOOD CAUSES from a woman who has become an important author, investor, philanthropist, and more. Much of what we talk about is how to position yourself mentally for financial success. You’re going to hear why Candy advocates for thinking of yourself as a business owner instead of being self-employed. That leads us to the psychology behind LIVING BELOW YOUR MEANS, why RELATIONSHIPS are critical and need to be nurtured as much as possible, GOOD DEBT vs. BAD DEBT, INVESTING LEVERAGE, and why SIDE HUSTLES should be an essential part of your success formula. Many of you also wonder if PLAYING THE LONG GAME and all the SACRIFICE is worth it. It’s no secret I think that’s the case. You’ll want to hear Candy, and I discuss what that sacrifice means, the problems money solves, and more importantly, the problems money does not solve. You rarely get an insider’s education like this, and the best part is the only cost to you is to PAY ATTENTION It’s an INVESTMENT you won’t regret. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 P.M. And my third day, 6:00 P.M. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time, too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over $12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff. Borrow better.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Mr. President, my company, for me, of the explosion on our rig.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  On October 2nd.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me.

• 1:11Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess. And Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You stop, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 1:22Speaker 02

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  I'm not the first nanny.

• 1:27Speaker 02

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  This is the Ed Mileage Show.

• 1:41Ed Mylett?

  All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. I have a friend here today who's extraordinary. Here's what we're going to talk about today. Getting rich. And when I say getting rich, I mean rich in every area of life. Not just financially, although we're going to go there a lot. We're going to talk about building wealth today. And this woman that I've asked to be here today is extraordinary. Picture this. You grew up in a trailer, right? Not necessarily a background that screams wealth. Her dad was a mechanic. Her mom cleaned houses. She's 19. She decides I'm going to go into business. For myself and makes millions and millions of dollars. By the time she's 40, she retires a couple of different times. And she's learned how to build wealth. She's also learned though, how to build a life while doing that because it wasn't always that way.

• 2:23Ed Mylett?

  And so she's got a new book out that you can preorder right now called Wealth Habits, Six Ordinary Steps to Achieve Extraordinary Financial Freedom. And she is extraordinary. Candy Valentino, welcome to the show.

• 2:35Candy Valentino?

  Thank you so much for having me. It's truly an honor to be here, Ed.

• 2:37Ed Mylett?

  It's an honor to have you. We've known each other because I went out and did an event for you and we have a bunch of mutual friends. How did you get rich? How'd you get wealthy?

• 2:46Candy Valentino?

  I had to sum it up. It's a lot of hard work.

• 2:48Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 2:48Candy Valentino?

  Like being okay with making mistakes, being okay to take the next step, even when I didn't know what that was going to entail. Um, understanding that you gotta have the belief and you gotta be okay to fail and make mistakes. And for me, it was just about the reality of what was existing in my life was no longer something that I was okay with. So I was, I was okay with taking the step in fear because I, that unknown is most people, it kind of keeps them where they are. But for me, it was an exciting opportunity to create something new and it's really about playing the long game.

• 3:25Ed Mylett?

  What do you mean by that, playing the long game? Cause you're so young when you started. So how was it a long game?

• 3:29Candy Valentino?

  Yeah. So I think a lot of times people so focused on instant gratification, right? What can I get right now? Like, okay, I made a little bit of money. Let me go buy the car or the boat or all of these things. And for me, I had a goal early on that I, I watched my dad in his auto mechanic shop for my whole life. I got dropped off there every day. Unlike most people learn dance or soccer, I got dropped off at my dad's garage. So I was answering the phone and typing on the typewriter invoices and doing my homework in this, you know, little 13 inch TV, watching cartoons. And so I saw him work so hard every day and miss out on so many things when I was a kid. And I thought, you know what? I want to do this differently. I don't want to be self-employed. I want to build a business.

• 4:11Candy Valentino?

  And I want to be able to, to have freedom so that I can go where I want, when I want, with whoever I want and, and help as many people as I want.

• 4:18Ed Mylett?

  You did it. And the thing about you that's interesting, because you already made one distinction I want to talk about. Cause I don't think most people even understand the difference. This is a woman who was named in the 40 under 40 list. Well, one of the top 50, you know, female entrepreneurs. I mean, she had a ton of accolades happen. But most people don't make that distinction between being self-employed and being a business owner. There is a difference and there's a lot of people running around who are self-employed, who think they're business owners.

• 4:43Candy Valentino?

  That's right.

• 4:44Ed Mylett?

  So let's just start right there with some really good content. Like, what is the difference between those two things?

• 4:49Candy Valentino?

  So being self-employed, you have to show up. Like, a lot of times, people think, "Oh, I'm building a business." No, you just created a job for yourself. Because if you don't show up to the team, to the brick and mortar, for the workshop, for the webinar, you're not gonna make money. Building a business is building an engine that can continually print money while you go do what you want, be with your family, go to the soccer games, you know, hang out with your friends. And so I saw what my dad missed, and I wanted to make sure to do it different. And I knew that I needed a team, and I needed scale in order to do that, so that I could go to Starbucks in the middle of the day, or fly here to be able to see you and do this interview. But most people end up building themselves a job, which turns into a cage. And then, they end up getting these golden handcuffs,

• 5:33Candy Valentino?

  because they have pride and responsibility, and they're making money, and they don't wanna, they don't realize that they've just traded their freedom of way to basically build, to become an entrepreneur. But really, they're just an employee of this new entity that they own, and it owns them.

• 5:49Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, that is, like, so true. Because I've been self-employed only. You really don't even have one job. You have, like, 11.

• 5:55Candy Valentino?

  Yeah.

• 5:56Ed Mylett?

  And a lot of times, it's almost worse than being an employee. Because if you're an employee, you can actually leave, and you're not responsible for the light bill. You're not gonna pay the, the, you know, the rent on the office and the other stuff like that. And so, a lot of people listen to this. Now, what would you say? We're going somewhere, I wasn't sure we would go this early, but, so someone's listening, they're like, "You know what? I kind of am self-employed. Most of my income, or all the responsibility in my business, is incumbent upon me." Should they look at doing a different business, or a different way of doing the business that they're in? So what would you say to them?

• 6:25Candy Valentino?

  So really, you know, I feel context is important. We may be sitting here saying that like, hey, it might not be great to be self-employed. But if you love what you do and you just want to do it for yourself because you don't want to work for anyone else, that's okay.

• 6:38Ed Mylett?

  Sure.

• 6:38Candy Valentino?

  But just know what you're building, right? And so if the idea is to then be able to retire when you're 40, or you know, do this for 20 years and retire, and you don't scale an actual business, you're going to be stuck in that same place. So if someone's sitting here going, oh, gosh, because I've worked with entrepreneurs that they're like, oh, gosh, I didn't realize I was building myself a job. What do I need to do? How can you replace yourself in all of these roles?

• 7:03Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 7:03Candy Valentino?

  And there's a couple of ways you can truly do it because I'm a little out about tactics, right? So we can take a look at what you're currently earning in your small business, being self-employed, and figure out what you actually make as an hourly rate. And you can do this monthly or annually, figure out how many hours you're working, what you're actually bringing home, your net profit or your wages, depending on how you pay yourself out of your business. Figure out what that hourly rate is. And the fastest thing you can do is find who can you hire to do one of those roles, whether it's answering the phones, or emails, or working with customers, or the actual services or products? And how can you replace yourself in the business?

• 7:39Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 7:39Candy Valentino?

  And then you just do that over and over and over with each one of those roles. Now you have a team.

• 7:44Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 7:44Candy Valentino?

  The challenge is most entrepreneurs don't decide if they want to be the entrepreneur, if they are the manager, or if they're actually the talent inside of the business.

• 7:52Ed Mylett?

  Oh, wow.

• 7:53Candy Valentino?

  And if you don't architect that in the beginning, you're going to actually build something that you're probably going to hate, which is what I see most people do in business.

• 8:01Ed Mylett?

  You know what? You reminded me of the E-Myth. Have you read the E-Myth?

• 8:04Candy Valentino?

  A long time ago.

• 8:05Ed Mylett?

  Did you really read the E-Myth?

• 8:06Candy Valentino?

  Yeah.

• 8:06Ed Mylett?

  So most people in this generation have read the E-Myth. It was written by a crazy dude named Michael Gerber, who was actually crazy brilliant. And he talks about that in the book, the difference between, you know, somebody who's an entrepreneur and somebody who works in their own business. And so like if you own a bakery, are you actually a baker? Or do you own a business that sells baking goods, right? And you have to make those distinctions when you're an entrepreneur. So the reason that I wanted you on is you're tactic-heavy. Like, you're known for tactical stuff. So everybody, the rest of this interview, we're going to get real granular on some different things. We're also going to talk about how to build a life, too, because Candy woke up at one point at 40 and had a bunch of money, but didn't have a bunch of life. And so you can have a bunch of money and not be rich. You can not live richly. But one of the things you just said, I want to acknowledge.

• 8:51Ed Mylett?

  I still am cheap and struggle with what you just said. That I don't, I would be wealthier and I would have been happier. And I've had a lot of happiness and I've built a lot of wealth. I'm, you know, done okay on that stuff. However, I would have more of it had I been willing to evaluate what you just said. What am I doing that I could actually replace myself and pay somebody for? But I was such a control freak and also cheap from time to time as an entrepreneur. That I didn't invest in head ahead of myself to scale and give myself a life. So I want to acknowledge that. The other thing that's happening right now is I think by every measurement, we're in a recession. Right now, I think we're in one. Now to the depth of it, the length of it, I'm not capable of forecasting that yet. Maybe I'll never be capable of doing that. If we could forecast that, no one would lose money in recessions, right?

• 9:37Ed Mylett?

  But you have like six things that you can recession proof your life and your business with. You don't have to share all six. But if someone's listening to this right now and they're like, I think we're in a recession. What are some recession proof strategies?

• 9:47Candy Valentino?

  Well, first I want to say that when you hear that word, it invokes a lot of fear in people. And it's specifically designed to do that, right? Because that's what people click on. That's what news topics are all about. But you have to remember the most important part, nothing that happens in our country's economy will ever be more important than what happens in your own personal economy. And if you take the steps to really recession proof your life. And you do really well in the good times so that you can set yourself up to do well in the bad times too. Like, and what does that mean? It's all the non sexy stuff, like live within your means. Like for years within my business, I wasn't making massive amounts of money. But I was living beneath my means. I was saving and investing money into real estate.

• 10:32Candy Valentino?

  Starting at 20 years old. So rather than going and buying all the fancy things that most people do. I was looking at this long game. How do I actually do this in 20 years? And be able to be able to retire and quit and be able to do whatever I want. So the first thing is that, always remember that whatever you do is far more important. And that there's always opportunity. That's why when I did the research for the book since 2020, there has been more billionaires made than any other time in history. Because when one area or industry goes bad, there's so much opportunity. So it's always keeping that in mind. Because if you're focused on the reality of, oh, the economic downturn, and that's all you focus on, then you're gonna miss the opportunity that's right in front of us.

• 11:11Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, you're so right. The data tells us not only are more billionaires been created since 2020, but more millionaires are created during recessions than any other time. Whatever even recession means, and I think you make a really good point about that. You, this live below your means thing, it's interesting to me. When I actually meet a legitimately wealthy person, and I am one also, the commonalities are striking. And they're simple things. Like, I want to just accent something you said there, and I want to maybe talk about it a little bit more, too. Living below your means is an absolute... There's this Vogue thing out here right now that on social media, everyone says, "Get rid of all the money you make, because it'll keep you hungry." Right? "Get rid of all the money you make." Which is really stupid advice, said during booming economies,

• 11:56Ed Mylett?

  which sounds really good when money just keeps flowing in. But what happens if and when that gets reduced? Or if and when that slows down? So it's like the worst advice by a bunch of people that don't know what they're talking about, that got wealthy like in the last three or four or five years. I've been wealthy for 30 years. You've been wealthy a long time. The things we talk about actually work, right? And so, I've lived below my means. And I want to just say this to everybody. I'm talking about like being a crazy person going, you know what? I spend four bucks on a coffee at Starbucks. I can make one at home for 90 cents. I'm saving the $3 in some sort of save. Are you that nuts about it? Because I was. I think if you don't save money when you don't have a lot, you're probably not going to save money when you do have a lot.

• 12:38Candy Valentino?

  Absolutely, it's a habit. Like, how you build wealth is a habit. And when you start developing that habit, when you have a little, whatever you develop, you're gonna do the same thing when you have a lot.

• 12:48Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 12:48Candy Valentino?

  So, I mean, I could go at any point in my life, I could've went and bought the Rolls Royce, the Bentley, the whatever, and I just, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I still drive a car. I, I never buy a brand-new car. I never have debt on bad debt or car payments. I buy, like, my Range Rover, I bought three years old, and I parked it right next to a client of mine that had a brand-new one that paid a hundred and forty thousand for it. And I'm like, that is the stupidest thing. Like, why wouldn't you buy it three years old? You could've got it at half-price.

• 13:16Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 13:17Candy Valentino?

  You know, so, it, it's, I don't, I don't understand. I think that the way the litmus test that someone can decide right now if they're living beyond their means is this one little tactic, is if you can't save, if you can't invest twenty percent of your money right now, if I say to you, "The only way that you can get wealthy is to take twenty percent of what you're earning right now, and you need to start investing it, here's what you invest in." And if you say, "Oh, my gosh, I can't do it," you're overspending.

• 13:44Ed Mylett?

  I so totally agree. And what's really great about this conversation is almost no one talks about this anymore. Like, it's completely counterculture. Now, it's like, spend everything you make. I have, um, I bought my first new car for my wife, by the way, not for me, last year. And I'm fifty-one. I don't buy new cars. People go, "Man, your jets are unbelievable." They are unbelievable, and they're a freaking fortune, and I've never bought a brand-new one.

• 14:07Candy Valentino?

  Yep.

• 14:07Ed Mylett?

  Why would I do that? Why would I buy, go, buy a G550 that someone paid fifty-five million for that twenty, two, twenty-four months later, I can pay twenty-two million dollars for? And thirty-six months later, I can pay fifteen million dollars for? And I know those are huge numbers, but why would I spend a hundred and twenty thousand on a Range Rover where eighteen months later, I can buy the same damn thing for sixty-eight thousand bucks? Or whatever the heck the math is on it.

• 14:29Candy Valentino?

  Right.

• 14:29Ed Mylett?

  I'm totally with you on that. Because I think, and by the way, if you're in a relationship, there's just two types of people in life. There are savers and spenders. And if you live alone, you're either a saver or a spender. You wanna build the habit of being a saver and an investor. If you're married to somebody, I hope at least one of you's a saver. Here's a formula for a broke marriage: two spenders.

• 14:49Candy Valentino?

  Yes.

• 14:49Ed Mylett?

  Do you agree with that? Two spenders that are in a marriage together are toast. They cannot physically make enough money to ever get wealthy, 'cause they spend, so I'm with you on that. Okay. Someone's listening, and they say, "All right, I'm actually listening to this, and I have a job." And I don't think I always want to have one. Um, the self-employed thing sounds a little better, but the business owner thing sounds really good. You have something in here that you talk about how to start a business while keeping your steady paycheck. I think you and I did it the same way in the same industry, so but I'll let you talk about what you think one of those ways is.

• 15:20Candy Valentino?

  So the easiest way to keep your job and do something else is to find what do you already have experience in? What do you have skills in? This isn't about like start posting on the internet that you're a business coach if you've never built a business. Like it drives me insane, like have integrity, what you have experience in, what you have skills in. And you can start doing that on the side for yourself. It opens you up to building a business. You can get an LLC. It opens you up to tax savings, which we talk about in the book too. Like when you be, when you are a business owner or a real estate investor, now you have the same thing that these massive corporations pay millions of dollars in lobbyists to get breaks. Now you have them too. So if you're doing something currently in your job, just do it for yourself.

• 16:04Candy Valentino?

  It could be going on Upwork or Fiverr. It could be, you know, going to Facebook group in a community that you live in and say, hey, I'm an electrician, but I'm also taking a little bit of side jobs on the, on the side. Contact me here. I've seen people build massive businesses, stringing lights and doing landscaping and turning into a real business so that they don't. You know, it's easy for people to say, burn the boats, create the business. But sometimes if you have a family to depend on, that's reckless advice.

• 16:30Ed Mylett?

  Man, like you're totally right. And this is, again, everybody, why today is so important to me is I have real deep concerns about the advice I see being thrown around on social media and in a lot of coaching programs that will work when all of the economy is exploding.

• 16:47Candy Valentino?

  Yes.

• 16:47Ed Mylett?

  You almost in a good economy can't give somebody too much stupid advice because the tide keeps rising. Where you separate great advice from so-so or terrible advice is when the economy recesses to some extent. That's when all of the flaws in something is revealed. When there's a bunch of water flowing, you don't see all the rocks under the ocean. But when it starts to recess and the tide comes back, then you see the rocks and the bumps and the scary stuff. And so you're 100% right about that. If you have a family, maybe you shouldn't burn every single bolt. Maybe your kids need to eat. Maybe them going to school still matters. Maybe there's a transition period. Maybe there's a time where you're gonna have three jobs.

• 17:25Candy Valentino?

  Yeah.

• 17:26Ed Mylett?

  Right, you're gonna have your full-time job, another job, and your side hustle. And that's okay as well, because it's gonna make a great story for you someday.

• 17:32Candy Valentino?

  And maybe you don't wanna stress out your relationship.

• 17:35Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 17:35Candy Valentino?

  Sometimes people burn the boats, go all in, and then they're completely stressed out of their mind. Because now they have all this responsibility. There's another way that you can still build wealth and still have a great quality of life. And I think that's the most important part of the whole thing is it's like, a lot of the advice I hear, which I think is what you're referencing is, it's like, there's this all-or-nothing mentality.

• 17:57Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 17:58Candy Valentino?

  But in these difficult times, it's kinda like you said with the rocks. The rocks are still there.

• 18:02Ed Mylett?

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:02Candy Valentino?

  You're just now seeing them.

• 18:04Ed Mylett?

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:04Candy Valentino?

  But they were always there. And I think with, with any industry, any vertical, any type of market, it's always going to. When we did research, I looked at the last 40 years of every market, the S and P 500, the real estate market. And it always pulls back.

• 18:18Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 18:18Candy Valentino?

  So it's like, and when you really look at the chart over time, that's why wealth, business, relationships, it's playing the long game. Because when you look at the chart, it always pulls back. But then in that opportunity, when you can double down, because you've lived below your means, you've been able to invest, then you can double down in these dips, and you can create more wealth than you ever would have if it was a straight-up chart.

• 18:39Ed Mylett?

  Oh, my gosh, that's a fact. By the way, if it's a straight-up chart, it doesn't let the little person ever get on the train.

• 18:44Candy Valentino?

  Absolutely.

• 18:44Ed Mylett?

  But when it dips is when small, economically small people, like myself when I started, like when you started, it allows us to get into the game. If the chart just went straight up all the time, we've missed it.

• 18:54Candy Valentino?

  That's right.

• 18:55Ed Mylett?

  But when it dips, it's a good thing. That's what everybody needs to get. And I don't even know if we're in a big dip. We may be in a huge dip right now, and it may be not so big of a dip. I don't know. But what I do know is this is a great time to be living below your means, as is all the time. The other thing you said that I want to second, I get asked a lot. And I don't, I always wanna say this with all the love that I can muster for somebody. But they'll say, hey, I wanna be the best speaker in the world like you, or I wanna be a coach. And I often say, I think the thing you probably should do first is build your resume.

• 19:25Candy Valentino?

  Yes.

• 19:25Ed Mylett?

  Like, do something first. Have some credibility to your message. Say, this is what I did. The reason I wanted you on is you built real wealth as a young woman. The thing you just said, though, that when you got there, my understanding is you got to a certain point, and you're like, hmm. This isn't great. I mean, I've got a bunch of money, but my life is not what I thought it would be. And I relate to that on some level, that other parts of my life weren't as rich as they should have been by the time I got to being rich financially. And that there actually became a part of me in my life, which I now don't believe, but I wondered for a while, like, was this worth it? What it did to me emotionally?

• 20:10Candy Valentino?

  Yeah.

• 20:10Ed Mylett?

  What it did to me physically, because the amount of work really required to win is a lot. And I didn't take care of myself during those years. I didn't take care of my emotional well-being. I didn't heal some things in me. I was like, I don't know about you, but I was always like, I'll get around to it once I'm rich.

• 20:27Candy Valentino?

  Yeah.

• 20:28Ed Mylett?

  I'm gonna get to this thing. I probably should. And by the way, maybe if I get rich enough, it'll just like go away. So what about for you?

• 20:35Candy Valentino?

  So it's interesting because we do, I think that it's a common thought in society that money solves problems. And certainly it can make life easier in a lot of ways and fuller in some ways, but when that's the goal, if it's only to build money, if it's only to be rich, you've really missed the point of the entire thing. And so I started at 19 and it was about 25, 26 years old. I had a couple of commercial properties. I had a couple of flips under my belt. You know, I was buying foreclosures at 20, $30,000 and selling them for $100,000, like not crazy, but just enough that while some friends were doing the bar scene and, you know, all of the golfing and all of that, I was flipping houses on the weekend. Like, that's what I was doing.

• 21:18Ed Mylett?

  Exactly the same.

• 21:19Candy Valentino?

  And so, you know, but I was doing all of that. And I think what happened was at 19, if looking back, I realized that I was trying to run from something, right? I was trying to become something. I was trying to, I had so much leverage of not wanting to be poor, not wanting to ever depend on anybody, to not ever need anybody. Because I thought if, if I need somebody financially, then they can control me. They have power over me. And coming from the childhood that I had, I didn't ever want to have someone have that control. And so I feel like I ran so hard that once I was getting there, if you will, I started getting there and having money and having all of these things. I was like, is this it? Like, did I climb this mountain? Did I get out of poverty? Did I overcome

• 22:04Candy Valentino?

  all of this for this? And I felt so empty. Like, I had more than I ever had in my life, but yet I felt empty. I'm like, how is this possible? And I had bought a building at the corner of town, and I had no clue what I was gonna do with it, but it was a good deal, and so I bought it. And I was driving by that building that day. I was in a black Escalade, had the shoes from, you know, the outside, all the things that the girls want, right? And I'm like, what am I gonna do with that building? And it was like a voice, just like us talking, said, put your animal shelter there. And I thought, I've never wanted an animal. Like, that was never a conscious thought in my mind. And it was like, when I looked at that street, and I saw the businesses

• 22:45Candy Valentino?

  that I owned, and the buildings that I owned, and I heard that, it was like, the recognition of everything I had, and also what I didn't, all in the same moment. Because while I was trying to build wealth and build the business and become this thing, I realized that I was driving home to a guy I didn't even know if he loved me or cared about me. I had, you know, friends that I wasn't even sure if they were really my friends, or if it was just because of business and all of these other things. And when I heard that voice in that moment, it was like, I realized that all of this really means nothing. That if the goal is to build money and have the things and to be rich, we actually miss the whole point of why we're here. It's to contribute, it's to give, it's to make a difference. And

• 23:30Candy Valentino?

  so, from that moment on, I took, again, in fear, no clue on how to start a nonprofit, I took every step forward on figuring out how to start a nonprofit, and how to take this building that I bought and turn it into an animal shelter, and start saving lives. And then, you know, we grew on from there and developed a sanctuary and have programs for at-risk youth and kids that are abused. But yeah, so I mean, it's interesting when you're running from something, that you sometimes forget to pause and realize how far you've come. Because sometimes those mountains, we get so focused on climbing that mountain that we don't realize that maybe this next mountain isn't for us to climb. Maybe we need to look back and acknowledge on all of those hills that we came, we came

• 24:14Candy Valentino?

  through and see if maybe there's something we've missing. You know, sometimes I feel like we were so focused on what we want in life, that sometimes we miss what we can actually have.

• 24:26Ed Mylett?

  Oh, wow.

• 24:27Candy Valentino?

  And that it might just be that much bigger and bolder than what we truly want.

• 24:32Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, you're amazing. That's wonderful that you've done that, by the way. One of my favorite things I've ever said on the show, right there, in 500 shows or whatever it is. You know, I, uh, we, we're a lot alike and, and I think it's okay to be running from something like, the truth is, my, my main driver for many years was not to be rich, it was to not be broke.

• 24:55Candy Valentino?

  Mm-hmm, yes.

• 24:56Ed Mylett?

  And, and, and I don't know if that's because like when my dad would drink, I was worried he was gonna leave and my mom was a homemaker and had no way to support our family, or I don't know what it is. But I know I've always been very much not wanting to be broke. And so I ran from that. I ran from, I ran, many people can relate to this, I know you did too. I ran from like whatever bad stuff happened to me when I was a kid. I wanted to get as far from that as I could. I ran from my lack of confidence. I ran from feeling, feeling insecure. I ran from fear, right? I ran from those things. And I actually think most successful people have that in common and it's okay. But I want everybody to hear this, because I'm writing about it right now, but I just think what you just said is so eloquent.

• 25:40Ed Mylett?

  It's okay to be running from something, but at some point in that race, you have to begin to run towards what your dream is, towards what fulfills you. That'll only take you so far. And when you finally get away from it, like you said, I'm rich now, I'm no longer poor. You go, this was it? Because I never ran towards what I wanted to become. I didn't run towards what I wanted to create. I didn't run towards what I wanted to give. And it was only till later in life, maybe like 20 years ago, that I went, oh, I'm gonna both not be back there poor and I want to live richly. I want to give, I want to share my message with the world, I want to grow and contribute to people. So in the midst of running from something, if you're at that stage, it's okay, just... Heat or advice, at some point, begin to run towards who you want to become as well.

• 26:24Ed Mylett?

  And what you'll learn is that you don't actually don't have to really run towards it. It's already within you.

• 26:27Candy Valentino?

  It is.

• 26:28Ed Mylett?

  And you just magnify more and more of who you've always been in there when you find your, your real home.

• 26:34Candy Valentino?

  That's all that money really is.

• 26:36Ed Mylett?

  Right, it's a magnifier, is that what you mean?

• 26:37Candy Valentino?

  Yeah, I mean, if you are already a good person and you have a heart to help people and maybe you're doing that right now in some way, like, all that money is going to do is give you that, it's gonna magnify it. If you're a jerk, you're just gonna be a bigger jerk with money, that's really all it is, it's gonna magnify who you are. So for me, it gave me the ability to, you know, buy my dad a motorcycle and, you know, be able to like just gift and donate and serve and start a farm and all these things. And I think that's really where it is, but I think where people get tripped up is they sometimes have the big idea, they have the big dream, and then it gets replaced with big fear of either not being enough or not, you know, having the right education or not being from the right family.

• 27:21Candy Valentino?

  And so one of the things I did is really young, and I don't know where I got this from, but I started writing down all of the things I overcame on a list, like just literally writing it down. If anyone's, if you're not driving, you're listening to this, I would encourage everyone to do this, because I think it's a really powerful exercise, I've never heard anyone else talk about this, but grab a sheet of paper. And if you're, if you're struggling with something right now, if you don't know, like, you know, what, what is this thing for me, or I'm too scared to do this next thing, or I can't create wealth, I'm always going to be here because of X, Y, and Z, I want you to write down everything that you've overcome, everything that was sent to destroy you, everything that was meant to, to cripple you, and write down all of those things. Was it, you know, losing a parent, or losing a child, or not have, being able to have

• 28:05Candy Valentino?

  a child, or, you know, suffering abuse in some way, like everyone has pain and trauma. And I want you to, like, when you're about to do this next thing, whether you get inspired from this and you wanna go, go create wealth or start a business, like, and that fear creeps up, you gotta pull out that list and review all of those things and remember who you are. Remember that you survived 100% of your worst days, because you're still here.

• 28:34Candy Valentino?

  And if you can accomplish all of that, who's to say that this business or starting a Roth IRA or yada yada? Like, it's all a joke because you've got through all of this other stuff. And I think that's so important for people to remember that how powerful they truly are.

• 28:50Ed Mylett?

  Well, you're an example of that. Again, you don't only do one of these a week. And so like the seat you're in is really precious to me.

• 29:01Ed Mylett?

  Because there's millions of people that are now extended part of my family. And when someone sits in that seat and is doing what you're doing right now, like, I'm really honored to be doing this. What you just said is like, it makes me emotional because you're 100% right. It also makes me emotional because I know a little bit more now about what you've had to overcome. You're like an example of this. And so you see this woman, very young, starts these businesses. Dad's a mechanic, mom's cleaning houses. And she just grows up into to become this amazing person with this amazing life. She's gotten wealthy, she's helped other people get wealthy, she teaches people how to get wealthy. She started the shelter, she's done all these other things. Yet, you had your own form of abuse that you had to overcome. I just think if you're willing to share a little bit about it,

• 29:46Ed Mylett?

  you'd give a lot of people a lot of hope. So, what was the main thing? You had to overcome a lot of different things, but what was the main thing you had to overcome?

• 29:55Candy Valentino?

  Yeah, so, you know, it's interesting. I didn't talk, when this originally happened, I probably hadn't talked about it for 20 years. And it's still something new, but it's tough to share, to be completely transparent with you. But I do it because I feel that when people see us in a certain way, right? And they see us the way we are right now. They think, oh, that person had it easy and, oh, they don't understand my journey. And I've been through stuff. And I agree, I mean, one out of every six girls has been raped or sexually abused. And so I guarantee you, there are tons of people listening. And I'm one of those six. I was sexually abused as a child by a family member for a really long time.

• 30:36Candy Valentino?

  I really don't think I ever went back and, you know, did a lot of that to try to figure it out. And that's okay, but it took 20 years to ever talk about it. And because of that, you know, it's interesting. I've often thought like, what exactly happens? I feel like there's like a, almost like a part of your soul that dies when that happens. Because you're never the same.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:59Candy Valentino?

  And you never make decisions the same way. And I feel like it's always something that you have to heal from. And it could be physical abuse for someone listening. It could be emotional, or you know, you're in a relationship with a narcissist. And whatever it is for you, the most important thing you can do is number one, don't let it define you. And when I was 15 years old, I heard for the first time in my life that you are a product of your decisions, not of your circumstances. And it was at that point, I thought, this does not need to define me. I get to choose. Like, I can't control what someone does to me, but I can surely control what I do next.

• 31:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:40Candy Valentino?

  And I wanted to be that person that no matter what, if somebody else is dealing with something, here's proof. Here's proof that no matter what it is, no matter how difficult your life has been, you too can choose to heal. And you can use that pain as opposed to letting it cripple you. You can use that pain to really get you closer to your purpose. And I don't mean purpose in something you sit on the couch and like, oh, what's my purpose? But like actually moving towards, which I think what it all is, is contribution. How can you contribute? How can you serve? How can you show up in the world to just show people what's possible? And that it's safe for them to do it too. And, you know, so I've done a long journey.

• 32:22Candy Valentino?

  I've, you know, made some poor relationship decisions along the way and had a lot of healing to do. And that's really where the nonprofit came in. You know, it's why it's called Heal Animal Rescue.

• 32:33Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 32:33Candy Valentino?

  Because we, we heal animals and we heal kids and humans that, you know, we've, we've rescued animals that have been adopted. And we've heard people say like, I wanted to kill myself, but I knew that if I did, my dog wouldn't get out today. So it's, it's so much bigger than us. And I feel that if I hadn't gone through what I went through as a child, if I hadn't had to figure all of that out and, and learn as I go and just find my own way. That I wouldn't have the heart that I have now for people that I wouldn't, you know, I want, I don't want people to suffer, whether it's entrepreneurs or people that are, you know, maybe not economically where they want to be or, or any animal that's suffering. Like, I wouldn't have that same thing. So, anyone that's going through something or has gone through something,

• 33:18Candy Valentino?

  imagine when you're through this and you're healed. Who you can help. And who you can serve through it. If you just sit on the couch and stay at home and wallow in that pain, you've missed the point.

• 33:31Ed Mylett?

  You have.

• 33:36Ed Mylett?

  I cannot thank you enough for being willing to share that. And, because I know how, I don't have anything like that. But I also know how hard it is when you've become successful to then reveal parts of your life that are, they can feel embarrassing. Right? They can feel embarrassing. I know when I started to first talk about my dad and drinking and all that, like, it's kind of embar- even still a little bit. And what you're sharing is a hundred million times more difficult to share. So I just want to acknowledge your courage on it. And, I don't know, when someone does, I have this weird thing.

• 34:11Ed Mylett?

  I like picture the little girl you. You know, I wish I could go back and hug her until it's going to be okay and then say, by the way, here's who you're going to become. Here's who you're going to become. And you're going to be sitting in a studio someday, helping millions of people with this story. It's going to be okay. But the thing you said that makes it okay, and this is the rub, your story isn't inspiring if you didn't come out the other side of it. The fact that you won, the fact that you persevered, the fact that you became something makes the story inspiring, because it didn't define you. And so if you're sitting there and you've had some sort of a struggle, a divorce, a relationship, someone's lied to you, you've been cheated on, an injury, an illness, you've lost a family member,

• 34:55Ed Mylett?

  abuse, alcohol, sexual, whatever it might be.

• 34:59Ed Mylett?

  It's only inspiring if you win.

• 35:01Candy Valentino?

  Yeah.

• 35:01Ed Mylett?

  It's only inspiring if you come out of the other side of it and do something great with your life. And that's what you've done. And that's, I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of people who go do something with their life, having to overcome things. And we all over, in our life, whatever happened to you is major to you. It's major to you. And so, and those who go, I haven't really had anything happen. Then you, your ass sure as heck should be winning.

• 35:26Candy Valentino?

  Right.

• 35:26Ed Mylett?

  You sure as heck should be winning so you can go help people who are going through it. And this notion that Rory said on our show about you're most qualified and capable to help the person you used to be is such a powerful statement. It's why we want to change and we want to grow. But let's help them financially a little bit, because this is your wheelhouse. I'm not going to have you on and not talk more, not enough about the money pieces of things. So let's just go right to it. First of all, what would you teach children about money? Because I think a lot of us, I mean, a lot of adults who have an elementary understanding still of money, to no fault of their own. It's not taught in school. I learned the geometry and algebra. I haven't used it since. Actually, I'm not even really sure I ever learned it. I'm pretty sure I cheated off Melissa Ramos's paper for three years.

• 36:08Ed Mylett?

  But aside from that, even had I learned it, I never used it since. I would have loved some basic budgeting, like how to read a financial statement, you know, some of that stuff. So what advice would you give to somebody? What would you teach your kids about money?

• 36:22Candy Valentino?

  So I want to say one thing before we get into all of this, because like we shared, there's a lot of things, right? The accolades, the lists, the things that overcome. But I want to make sure everyone knows that there is nothing about my story. There is nothing about my journey. There's, there's nothing that extraordinary. I wasn't that smart. I wasn't that connected. I wasn't, I just did a lot of ordinary things. So this isn't going to be some like life-changing innovation that we're going to, you know, charter a rover to Pluto. Like, these are going to be very basic things that anyone can do. And I think that where the schools really miss are teaching, basic fundamentals. And I mean, it could be as simple as like, like we were saying, don't take on bad debt.

• 37:05Candy Valentino?

  Don't buy the car because you can make the payment. Just because you can make the payment, doesn't mean you can afford it. If you can't actually write a check for something, you cannot afford it.

• 37:15Ed Mylett?

  Period.

• 37:15Candy Valentino?

  But what people want to do is that they want to look like they can afford something. So they take the payment as opposed to writing a check for the car that they can actually afford.

• 37:24Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 37:25Candy Valentino?

  And so I think that's, that's key and, and our kids are only going to do what we do.

• 37:29Ed Mylett?

  Mm hmm.

• 37:30Candy Valentino?

  They're not going to listen to what we say.

• 37:32Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, caught, not taught.

• 37:33Candy Valentino?

  Yes, caught, not taught, yes. So if you, if you are telling them, hey, you don't want to take on bad debt and you don't want to live with beneath your means and you want to save and you want to give, but you're not actively doing those things, you're a hypocrite.

• 37:45Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 37:45Candy Valentino?

  So it's like first you gotta be able to do these things and teach them to kids so that you can close the gap where the schools leave out. So a lot of it is, you know, I, I think one of the, the quickest things you could do for kids is if you give your kids anything, an allowance or, you know, make sure that instead of just buying them the next thing, that you give them a way to budget their own money. Let's say instead of giving them, you know, we're just going to go buy your clothes. You say to them, you have $300 for school clothes. I don't care if you buy a $500 or a $150 pair of shoes and two shirts, or if you buy 14 shirts and pants, but you have $300 and I'm not giving you a dime more.

• 38:22Ed Mylett?

  Great idea.

• 38:23Candy Valentino?

  And you allow them to look at prices and figure out what they want and be able to go shop sales and maybe look on Amazon or online to find it cheaper. But oftentimes I see parents just shopping.

• 38:35Ed Mylett?

  Very good.

• 38:36Candy Valentino?

  So that's one quick lesson.

• 38:37Ed Mylett?

  Shoot, I wish I would have done that. No, for real, that's great.

• 38:40Candy Valentino?

  Right, and, and then it helps them if they ever want to build a business or just with their own family, how to budget money. Another one is my late friend Anne always did this with her three kids and she actually came from money. So this is a really hard thing, I think, for people with money to even do. But she would have her kids, she would give them whatever their allowance was for the month and they could only spend half. They had to invest 25%, they had to give 25%, then they could spend 50%.

• 39:08Candy Valentino?

  So what if you, what are you actually teaching your kids? Or we can say, oh, make sure that you donate. But if you're not actually framing it in a way that they can be successful, kids, I see it every day at the shelter. Kids love to get involved in causes that they can see. You know, donating their birthday presents to a charity instead of just collecting more junk that's going to sit in a landmine year down the road is a great way. Getting them involved in helping and giving back. Like, you know, we didn't have a lot, of course, but I remember every Christmas going to Hills. Do you remember Hills Department Store? And they had a tree with, with little angels on it. And you could pull a kid's name off a tree. And I knew that that meant I got one less gifts because we only had so much. But I remember that.

• 39:50Candy Valentino?

  I remember pulling the angels and giving the gifts far more than anything I ever got. And that's so important. And so I think some of those things are really, really key, making sure that-

• 40:02Ed Mylett?

  You're totally wrong about one thing where you said like, what you're going to say isn't revolutionary or life changing. That really was like, I've raised two great kids. I wish I'd have done both those things. Like, that's really a big deal, teaching them how to, I mean, I want to go back through it. It was just, it's super good. It's really, really good. I get the feeling, well, I know, one of those businesses you made a lot of money in is real estate. Right? And so if someone's listening to this, they're like, I don't know what business to start. I've always sort of, I'm not, I'm licensed, so I can't make any financial recommendations to people because I have to, so I have to let you be the person to do that. But what would you say to somebody who says, you know what? I haven't really found, you know, that thing you said about the career earlier. That's not really, I'm a nurse, but I don't think I want to do nursing as my side thing. I, you know, I, what would you, I think I know where you might go on that.

• 40:47Ed Mylett?

  But like, what would you say to them about an industry to at least take a look at where there might be some promise long term?

• 40:52Candy Valentino?

  So what I love about real estate investing is the barrier to entry. And people might think, well, no, is the barrier to entry high? If you're going to buy a million dollars in stocks, you need a million bucks. If you're gonna buy a million dollar property, you might only need 250 or 300,000, depending on your debt to income ratio and all those things we don't need to get into, but I just want to give the concept that you need less money to buy real estate. But if you're gonna invest in a stock, you actually need that money. And if for any reason, something happens in the market, guess what? Let's say you're on margin, they can do a call, and now all of a sudden, you need to come up with that money. But the way that the government has structured loans for real estate, real assets, they can't do that.

• 41:35Candy Valentino?

  And you're locked in at a specific interest rate typically for a long time. So I love real estate because it allows anybody to start to build wealth. Because it's really hard to make money on 20 grand in the stock market. It's a long time. Not to say that you shouldn't be 100% maxing out your Roth IRA. You absolutely, if you have a business, should be looking at a 401k or a simple or self-employed 401k to max all of your tax savings out. But for the average person, you know, anyone listening here that hasn't bought a house yet, and maybe this will be your first purchase because you're renting, think about getting a first-time home buyer's loan, which is called FHA, as you know. 3.5%, a little bit more in fees.

• 42:17Ed Mylett?

  Down, by the way, down is what she's saying.

• 42:19Candy Valentino?

  3.5% down, sorry. You can actually buy a duplex, a triplex.

• 42:25Ed Mylett?

  Live in one and rent the other out.

• 42:26Candy Valentino?

  It's the, it's the number one hack to, to build wealth.

• 42:30Ed Mylett?

  First property I ever owned.

• 42:31Candy Valentino?

  Get out.

• 42:32Ed Mylett?

  First property I ever owned.

• 42:33Candy Valentino?

  Yeah.

• 42:33Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, bought a $200,000 duplex. I lived in one side and rented out the other.

• 42:37Candy Valentino?

  Your living expenses are paid. You stay there a year. You fulfill your FHA loan requirements, which require you to stay there for a year. You put someone else there, rinse and repeat. Most people want what has been pitched to us, which is the big house, the picket fence. If you will delay that sort of stuff, I promise you that you will be able to buy a bigger house with a bigger fence and more toys inside, but people want the now.

• 43:03Ed Mylett?

  I promise you, she's right.

• 43:08Ed Mylett?

  Let me just tell you, I'm sitting here right now, I can promise you, I started to play little Monopoly, so I could play big Monopoly later in my life. Now, let's go do a couple of things. People say, "Wait a minute, you both just said 15 minutes ago that debt is stupid." But there's two types of debt, everybody. So, explain the difference. Just, some people listen and go, "I already know this part, just listen."

• 43:24Candy Valentino?

  Just listen anyways.

• 43:25Ed Mylett?

  Right, just listen.

• 43:26Candy Valentino?

  We'll make it short. Good debt is anything that can appreciate, assets, businesses, right? Anything that's a good debt. And this is where there's a lot of conflict in the quote, you know, thought leader space, because there's a difference between good and bad debt. Bad debt is anything that depreciates. Your car, your Louis bag, your shoes, your Rolex, your boat, those are all depreciating assets. The second you buy them, they lose value. You're buying them at the highest price possible, and then they continually just depreciate until it's, like, I look at this, in 2001, I wanted to buy my dream car, which at the time was a Jeep Grand Cherokee.

• 43:58Ed Mylett?

  [laughing]

• 43:59Candy Valentino?

  And it was, I think, thirty-some thousand dollars at the time. The house up the street was a foreclosure for $23,000.

• 44:06Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 44:07Candy Valentino?

  Guess which one I bought?

• 44:08Ed Mylett?

  You bought the house.

• 44:09Candy Valentino?

  And guess what that's worth now?

• 44:10Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 44:11Candy Valentino?

  Right? That Jeep's now worth, you probably couldn't even get four grand for that Jeep, a 2001 Jeep Grand Cherokee. That house has cash flowed, year after year after year, for 20 years, and then when I flipped it, I was able to take that money and put it into another property.

• 44:25Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. A lot of people listen, they go, "Okay, that sounded really good earlier, that whole thing, like, I could control the property, but I still need the 200, 300 grand, I don't have that." The other thing about real estate, I'm not pitching real estate, she is, just to be clear, because I'm licensed, but the other thing is, is that sometimes you can control that entire piece of real estate with none of your own money, if you find an unbelievable property and find somebody with money who would put the 20% down, and you split profits together. So, there's lots of ways to get creative, and it's an industry worth investigating. I think you wanted to say something on that, but also, what if someone listens and goes, "Hey, but I could buy a house right now that would be depreciating, because I might be buying at the top of the market. You just said there might be a recession. What if I pay 240 for that house?" And this is valid.

• 45:03Candy Valentino?

  Yeah.

• 45:04Ed Mylett?

  And I could wake up in two years, because we've all seen this happen before, and it's worth 200. So, obviously, there's something to be said for being savvy and market analysis and everything else, but I think you should at least address that because that's what someone's thinking listening to this.

• 45:18Candy Valentino?

  100%. I hear this every day.

• 45:19Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 45:20Candy Valentino?

  How long are you holding that property? Real estate is also playing the long game. If you're looking to buy a property and then flip it in three to six months, yeah, you better know what you're doing, or you could lose your butt in this market. But if your goal is to build a portfolio, to have investments, even if it's just a few, and you're 20, or 40, or 50, and you're planning to hold them until you retire, it doesn't matter if it drops 10, 20%, because, again, like we talked in the beginning of the episode, no chart goes up forever. There's always dips. And the same thing in the real estate market. Even if you bought that property for 250, and it drops to 200, if you're collecting rent on it, who cares? When the market dries up, and there isn't maybe as much people buying because of the

• 46:04Candy Valentino?

  interest rates are so high, guess what they're going to be doing? They're going to be renting. So there's going to be an influx of people renting. There has never been a time in the history of the United States that there hasn't been a need for rentals. So you will always, it's like it's having infinite demand, and there's only supply issues. They can't build them in certain areas. And I know there's people, "Oh, you can't even buy a house for 240,000." It's all in where you look. Yes, you're not going to in California, or in Phoenix necessarily, but in little pockets of towns that are outside of, I could buy a house right now, tons of them for 100 grand, back where I'm originally from. So they're available. And just remember that anything, it's playing the long game.

• 46:42Ed Mylett?

  Okay. I totally agree. I wish there were things we could debate here today, because I really enjoy doing that, but there's nothing so far that I would debate with you. I just, I agree with that. The other thing, too, everybody, is that, um, don't do a deal that you can't explain. In other words, don't, I've bought, I think it's safe to say, hundreds of millions of dollars of real estate, and even I recently got taken advantage of by somebody in a couple of deals I did, because I trusted the person and not the deal. And the person was not ethical at all, probably did some illegal things, too. And so, when you are going to invest money, my dad used to say this to me, "If you can't explain it back to me, don't do it." And so if you can't explain it back to somebody, don't do it. Make sure you do your due diligence. Make sure you're careful about it.

• 47:26Ed Mylett?

  Okay, let's move over to life a little bit now. Cause I got you. We've done a lot of stuff on financial. We've moved around on that. Was it worth it? I want you to be real. You sacrificed some things. I didn't go to the club either. I didn't go to the club. We're a lot alike that when I met you, you're a serious person. You have a good time, but you're a serious person. I love serious people because I love, I have lots of friends who are really funny people, but they just, they're more intentional about their life. Um, my son's that way. He's very intentional about his life. He's a pretty serious guy. Has a good time, but I, when I met you, I immediately was impressed. I mean, like immediately, I'm talking within like, we met backstage at an event I was speaking for you at. It wasn't your biggest event ever.

• 48:09Ed Mylett?

  And I, you walked away about, you know, three minutes later. Rarely do I say this upon first meeting somebody. I went, I'm impressed with her. You have a presence about you and a seriousness about your life that I relate to. A lot of people just aren't. You know exactly what I mean. It's why you're where you are. It's why you where you are after 20 years. I meet a lot of people who are successful for three or four or five years. I want to say this to everybody listening to, I have, I have more friends who used to be wealthy than currently are wealthy. So I've had a lot of friends get wealthy for a year, for five years, for six or seven years. But what they were doing was more market driven, not habitually driven, like the habits we're talking about here.

• 48:53Ed Mylett?

  So you probably weren't at the club a lot. You probably didn't party a lot. I bet you lost friends over how successful you are. You can elaborate on that if I'm wrong. You lost friends over your focus, over your intensity, over you not wanting to be around clowns anymore, right? And you missed a lot of things. Truthfully speaking, okay? Was all that worth it? And if it wasn't, that's okay. But was it worth it? And did you lose friends and have those things I described? Cause I think people need to know, this is probably going to happen if you're going to do it.

• 49:21Candy Valentino?

  It was a hundred percent worth it. And I lost a lot of people along the way. Judged a lot of the way. Remember in 1999, when I first started my business, I remember my mom saying, when I was about to graduate high school, do you want to be a teacher or a nurse? And I was like, what do you mean? Like, those were the two professions that even back then that a lot of women were going to. And I was like, well, I don't, I, those, those two professions, they work so hard. Like, we need great teachers and great nurses and we need more of them. But I was like, I am not really great with blood, so I don't know that that's gonna be good. Or snot with kids. But I was like, no, I, I don't wanna do that. And so, you know, starting a business when all of my friends were going to college, when, you know,

• 50:04Candy Valentino?

  everyone at the time would walk into my first business and go, oh, hi, where's the owner? I was like, hi, it's me. Oh, no, like, is it your husband? Is it your brother? Like, I dealt with that for years and years and years. And, you know, anytime that I wanted to do something big, it's like, oh, who does she think she is? What's she trying to prove? It was like, I wasn't actually doing anything to prove to anyone other than to myself of what I'm capable of, of what I feel that God put inside me. And for so long, I downplayed it, I tried to minimize it because it wasn't accepted. And anytime, as you know, you put your head out there, you try to stretch, there's gonna be people that come along and try to take a whack.

• 50:47Candy Valentino?

  But here's what I wanna know, anyone that has fear of that, you gotta understand two things. The only reason that someone will ever hate, gossip, or throw shade your way is because, one, something in you is triggering lack in them. And rather than them go fix whatever in their life that needs fixed, they would rather attack you because it's a heck of a lot easier. And the only other way, number two, is you already have something that they want and consciously they know it. So it's an unconscious, intangible desire, or a conscious tangible desire, that's it. And rather than them going and doing all of the, because it's available to anyone. Anyone listening can do anything that I just did. There's, I don't have some, you know, like, some people are born really smart, right?

• 51:30Candy Valentino?

  Like Elon and these, they're just born smart. That's not my path. Like, I just happened to do all of the things that were necessary and I didn't quit. And I was relentless and I was persistent. And even when it was like, well, you know what? Women are better to be Seen than heard, or you know what guys don't like to be with strong women. All of the things that I had heard for so long, so it made me try to be smaller play. And it was like inner civil war. Because when you are not being congruent with who you're really created to be. It will feel like this war that's going on inside of you. And I guarantee there's somebody listening that understands that.

• 52:09Candy Valentino?

  And I just want you to know that that is the the physical feeling of you not going after what you darn well know that you should be.

• 52:16Ed Mylett?

  Oh, my gosh. Okay, you did it again. You just did one of these things that I so. The I wish there was the beginning of the interview when you just said, I hope you're all still here right now because that was. One of the things that made me the most emotional about what I've been blessed to have with this following the last. Eight years, whatever it is is um.

• 52:37Ed Mylett?

  Oh, wow, it got me right there. Sorry.

• 52:42Ed Mylett?

  Is the amount of women who want to be somebody in this world right now. And like. Like.

• 52:53Ed Mylett?

  Sorry. There's just millions and like they work so hard. From eight I have. Twelve thirteen year old little girls who are aspiring to be entrepreneurs. You know, not all of them now want to just be, you know, what they were when I was they had to be an actress or I'm like or or an athlete or I'm like. They want to be entrepreneurs. They want to give, they want to create, they want to contribute, they want to win for their family. All the way up to I have seventy five year I'm like I have millions of women who. Follow my work and follow the show that you're speaking to right now. There isn't just one. And they have a little bit of that. Or they come from a family where there isn't been one yet.

• 53:34Candy Valentino?

  Yeah.

• 53:34Ed Mylett?

  Right? And it's just it moves me like I have thousands of messages a day, thousands a day. And so many of them are women like I want to win and they're in different businesses or they're trying network marketing or they're trying real estate or they've started something and. It's like there's been a there is a tsunami of women coming in this world that are entrepreneurs. And and I don't I don't play the gender game. People are people, but I got to tell you. It's inspiring to see the face of change in the world today. And I don't think it's just women. I think there's people from certain, if you come from a certain family background and everyone's always just sort of worked with their hands and you're gonna decide, "I'm gonna work with my mind," or the reverse.

• 54:18Ed Mylett?

  Everyone's always worked with their minds. You're like, "I love construction," or "I love building things." So what you just said is huge. It's huge. And we need more examples. We need more people stepping out. And it leads to one of the questions I was dying to ask you after I met you. Because the other thing I saw in you, because I see it in me, I'm very serious. One of the reasons I'm very serious is probably when I was young, it was a mask for my lack of confidence. If I can come across very professional, very serious, they won't notice that I'm not that smart, at least in my own mind. They won't notice that I'm this young. They won't notice that I'm not yet successful yet. And so that was a little bit of a mask for me and my confidence. What about you? What have you done? Have you struggled with your self-confidence? And what did you do to build it?

• 55:02Candy Valentino?

  That's a great question. So I feel that a lot of women struggle with self-conscious, being self-conscious. We're constantly being thrown images that we don't look like. We're constantly being thrown pictures of what we should want. And when what you want doesn't line up with those pictures, you start to think that something's wrong with you. And that is something I've struggled with because, you know, everybody wanted the degree and the family and the four kids and a minivan. And that wasn't something that I genuinely wanted. And because of that, people often thought I was missing something or that something was broken inside of me, that then I would start to think about was broken inside of me. But confidence is like a muscle.

• 55:47Candy Valentino?

  It's like going into the gym and picking up that first five-pound weight. You gotta do that before you're ever gonna curl a 50. And so for me, it's taking the steps forward in fear. No matter what, and then it's just like I shared earlier, reviewing the data. Like, look at what you've accomplished to this point. So that when you have self, when you're self-conscious about this next thing that you've never done, go back to that list and see what you've done, what you've overcome, how you've raised a child and you had no clue, how you got through that abusive relationship. Remember who you are and what you did, so that you know this next thing, you're gonna get through it too. Like, now I have the data, so that anything I wanna do, I have a greater chance of being successful,

• 56:30Candy Valentino?

  because there's proof that someone else has done it, even if I haven't yet. And anyone listening that's like, "I wanna be something," you already are. You gotta give yourself permission to get there. Like, you are the one, if someone is like, "I'm not there yet," no, you actually are. It's just that your actions don't meet your reality. And you have to get clear of giving yourself permission to take the step forward. Because if you don't, you will never develop that muscle of confidence. There is proof everywhere. If somebody wants to build the biggest company, or create a bunch of wealth, or whatever it is, there is someone that's already done it.

• 57:10Candy Valentino?

  So there is more data that you'll be successful at this than there is that you'll fail. And so that's what I always hang my hat on, that's what I always look towards. If I can see that someone else has done it, why can't I? And rather, most people will look and say, "Oh, so-and-so did that, I don't know how I can do that." And if you continue to ask yourself crappy questions, you're gonna continue to get crappy answers. Ask better questions. What am I missing? How can I do this? Who can help me? Where can I find the answers? Your brain, as you know, it processes all of the stuff that we ask it. Ask better questions, and your life will drastically change.

• 57:47Ed Mylett?

  You're so right. Everything, yes, yes, yes, yes. The quality of your life's the quality of the questions you ask yourself. People say, "I need to change how I think." Thinking is the process of asking and answering questions to yourself. The way you change a thought is you ask a different question, which produces a different answer. You have a different thought, and you don't have to believe everything you think. We all think crazy crap all the time.

• 58:08Candy Valentino?

  All the time.

• 58:08Ed Mylett?

  I think crazy things, insecure thoughts, all the time that are totally not true.

• 58:12Candy Valentino?

  And you can do all the things that we're talking about and still, while walking in here, I'm like, okay, what's the lighting gonna be like? Or how many wrinkles are they gonna see? Right? Like, so we still think all of that, but it's a choice to continue to get better.

• 58:24Ed Mylett?

  I did the same thing before you walked in. I said, can you guys turn the lights down? I'm 51. Let's throw a filter on this sucker.

• 58:30Candy Valentino?

  I know, right?

• 58:31Ed Mylett?

  I did the exact same thing. You, on the other hand, don't have to worry about any of that. That is like, literally a crazy belief for you. All right, this has been so good, but I want to ask you one last question. Like, I can just feel people that are like, wow, I got, I got financial stuff, I got life stuff, I got overcoming abuse stuff, I got inspirational stuff, I got tactics, I like this Roth IRA thing, I should look into the real estate, I should be scaling my business, I don't want to be self-employed, I want to be a business owner. Like, we got some stuff in here today, which I knew we would. So if we just stepped back, we go, okay, let's go big here. Let's, let's look at the big picture right now. And I'm driving right now and I'm pretty darn fired up or inspired, or I'm on the treadmill and I'm running at like, level 10 and I was at 2 when this thing started, right? And I go, you know what? There's just an area of change I want. I already am an entrepreneur, but I want to be happier. Or I, I am an employee and I want to be an entrepreneur.

• 59:16Ed Mylett?

  Or I don't have a good, whatever it is. I got something I want to change in my life. Cause you've clearly changed your life.

• 59:23Candy Valentino?

  Yeah.

• 59:23Ed Mylett?

  That's what you've done. You've changed your life. You're the one. You know, I always talk about the one. You're the one in your family. You've changed it forever. Your family will never be exactly the same because of you. That 19-year-old girl driving around who's like, can I meet the owner? Turns out, she was the owner, right? And so, you've changed your family forever. If someone's listening to this, I just go, yeah, I mean, you guys have covered a lot today. In addition to what you've covered, if you could give me one piece of advice, would it be find a mentor? Would it be read a book? Would it be start a business? Would it be, whatever it was, anything you haven't said, what would you add to the recipe that you've already given us today as one last thing to change their life?

• 1:00:03Candy Valentino?

  Decide. You gotta decide. People waffle. People say they want something, but then the proof is actually there that they don't. Because the decisions that they're making, the actions that they're taking, the things that they're doing, don't align with what they say they want. What do you really want? And are you willing to do the work to get there? Because you can say, it's easy to say, "Oh, I want to build a business." But are you willing to do what it takes to build it? Are you willing to decide? Are you really willing to not do certain things now, so that you can do anything later? I was able to, you know, when I was 19, 20, 20, I had to say no to so many things. I had to say no to the parties. I had to say no to the friends. I had to say no to hanging out with the girlfriends

• 1:00:47Candy Valentino?

  and going on trips. But guess what? I can say yes to anything now. I can go anywhere. I can gift anything. I can, I can do that now because I said no before. So what are you willing to say no to now, so that you can say yes to anything later?

• 1:01:05Ed Mylett?

  Ah, so good. Today was a big thank you from me to you.

• 1:01:10Candy Valentino?

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:01:11Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, like you slayed today. Guys, go get Wealth Habits from Candy Valentino. It's out November 15th, so it depends on when your list is, before November 15th, you're pre-ordering it. If it's after November 15th, you're ordering it. While you're grabbing it, go grab The Power of One More by Ed Mylett. I hear that's pretty good, too. Grab that book, get them together. And thank you for today. Where do they find you? Social? Candy Valentino?

• 1:01:37Candy Valentino?

  Candy Valentino everywhere, and the book is anywhere books are sold.

• 1:01:40Ed Mylett?

  One of the great names, by the way, of all time. Candy Valentino. You won't forget, though. You know, like, a lot of people listen to podcasts, like, "Hey, I heard this lady on this podcast. It was really good." In your case, like, "I heard Candy Valentino on the podcast today." So, thank you. You were awesome. And I'm so grateful that I had you here today.

• 1:01:57Candy Valentino?

  Thank you for having me. Truly, truly grateful.

• 1:02:00Ed Mylett?

  All right, guys. Listen, share the show. Number one fastest growing show on this planet is this show. You know why? Because you guys share it because it's really good every week. And every week you're learning, growing, being inspired and getting your life changed. And so I would appreciate if you'd share this one too. Somebody you love, somebody you believe in, somebody you care about, or everybody on your damn list. Either way, share it with them. God bless you all. Max out. This is the Ed Mileage Show.