Giggling about sourdough, supplements, and sex scenes

Hannah fought for her life in the airport and Paige realized she actually does have hobbies. subscribe to our newsletter watch our youtube docuseries

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Hannah Berner?

  I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.

• 0:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, so many people have my location.

• 0:08Hannah Berner?

  And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone, "I'm home."

• 0:12Paige DeSorbo?

  And if your friend like doesn't text you, "Oh, you got home," you're calling the FBI.

• 0:17Hannah Berner?

  Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. And even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?

• 0:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.

• 0:34Hannah Berner?

  And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat. So, once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.

• 0:42Paige DeSorbo?

  And you know, I love alone time, and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.

• 0:46Hannah Berner?

  Especially after being social. Like, I love everyone, but like...

• 0:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Please, nobody speak to me.

• 0:51Hannah Berner?

  Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising. And you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts you ignored all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.

• 1:04Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's the thing. It's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.

• 1:11Hannah Berner?

  And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.

• 1:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Which truly, women deserve.

• 1:16Hannah Berner?

  We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.

• 1:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I mean, put that on a t-shirt, for real.

• 1:22Hannah Berner?

  And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.

• 1:31Paige DeSorbo?

  And we spend enough of our lives being on.

• 1:34Hannah Berner?

  Exactly.

• 1:35Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't need to be on in the car.

• 1:37Hannah Berner?

  Getting around shouldn't require so much mental energy. And if this sounds like your ideal way to get around too, download the Waymo app and use code GIGLY to get 20% off your next two rides. You can check out the full terms in the app.

• 1:49Paige DeSorbo?

  We love a discount.

• 1:51Hannah Berner?

  And if Waymo isn't in your city yet, head to waymo.com/gigly to sign up and help bring Waymo to you. This episode is sponsored by Cars.com. I feel like your car says a lot about you. It's transportation, storage, and honestly, kind of a personality test. Maybe you need something for weekend road trips, something you can actually parallel park in the city, or... Or just enough trunk space for an emergency outfit and backup shoes. Personally, I like options and I'm very specific. So this is where cars.com comes in. Cars.com has the tools that make your car shopping way less overwhelming. With more than 200 advanced search filters, you can narrow things down based on what actually matters to you. Deal badges help show how fairly a vehicle is priced, so you can browse with more confidence and fewer chaotic tabs open, which I think we can all appreciate.

• 2:36Hannah Berner?

  Start your search with cars.com. Where to next?

• 2:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, remember when I told you how excited I was about Lululemon dropping their fall collection on September 8? Well, the collection is finally here and I just got my hands on a few pieces. And let's just say these will be in my rotation on repeat. I got the Groove Yoga Bra and the high-rise matching short. They're so buttery soft. They have laser cut pocket openings for optional and removable cups, which I love that because sometimes I don't want to have a bra insert when I'm working out, but sometimes I do. Performance never compromises style at Lululemon. I love their vintage-inspired styles and everything comes in such an assortment of colors. So if you don't want to stick to black, which is my traditional go-to, you can explore other colors. Like, I love a burgundy workout set. New styles from Lululemon's fall collection are here.

• 3:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Popular colors go fast, so be on the lookout for those drops. And if something doesn't work out for you, free returns always. That's lululemon.com, lululemon.com.

• 3:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup, Giggler?

• 3:38Speaker 02

  Jerry, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 3:50Hannah Berner?

  I just need you guys to know that Paige just sneezed and said, "Okay, now we're cleared and ready to go." I can't even. I have not been this stuck. Here's the thing, I'm...

• 4:00Paige DeSorbo?

  If I was a man, I'd be like, I'm dying. I have to go to the hospital. But because I'm a woman, I've worked full days, you know?

• 4:10Hannah Berner?

  You're like, I'm working overtime.

• 4:11Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a Sunday. I had to like catch up on things. One thing I do want to say, and this is not an ad. Honest Company makes these tissues called Sniffer Soothers.

• 4:23Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 4:24Paige DeSorbo?

  They've changed my whole life.

• 4:26Hannah Berner?

  I, I love that you've become a flu influencer. You're on TikTok telling people to put Vicks Vapor Rub into their brain. By the way, you're gonna get.

• 4:39Hannah Berner?

  You're gonna get sued. You can't just tell people to like stick Vicks Vapor Rub up their ass. There's gonna be infections.

• 4:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, who is the company that emailed me and they were like, please stop? Who was that?

• 4:50Hannah Berner?

  Oh, because you were saying you use something for a different thing.

• 4:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like I low key have so much to say on this pod, but I like, I can't get anything out.

• 4:58Hannah Berner?

  Okay, should I start with a story?

• 5:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 5:01Hannah Berner?

  Are you still ordering Overeats? I swear to God.

• 5:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow, that felt really good. I needed that cough. I needed that sneeze 20 seconds ago. Here's one thing before you tell your story. I'm obsessed with Botox. I got too much in my chin. I can't move my fucking bottom lip and I love it. I literally thought I was having a stroke last night as the goo is one side of my face drooping. Nope, Allison just did a little bit too much in the chin, but I fucking love it. I'm obsessed.

• 5:30Hannah Berner?

  Did you get your chin before?

• 5:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I did.

• 5:33Hannah Berner?

  Okay, so it's like a refill?

• 5:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I went back and like got some more done, you know, because it was time for my check-in. And she was like, did we hit your chin last time? And I was like, we did. And so she did it again. And I think maybe just like a

• 5:48Paige DeSorbo?

  like a little, a little bit too much. Because now my chin, my bottom lip goes to one side, but I'm like obsessed with it and I knew this was gonna happen and now I'm like freeze my whole goddamn face. Proceed with your story.

• 6:05Hannah Berner?

  If you're not on YouTube, um, watching Paige's eyes are like all red and swollen, but her forehead is so perfect and shiny right now. She looks gorgeous.

• 6:17Paige DeSorbo?

  I took a bath today. I washed up. I really needed it. Um, I am gonna blow my nose quickly.

• 6:25Hannah Berner?

  Let's see your nose.

• 6:26Paige DeSorbo?

  If you wanna see my snivels.

• 6:28Hannah Berner?

  Using technique as a, as a flu influencer. How's the best way to blow your nose? Okay, she's taking her long fingers. Oh, she goes back and forth. She doesn't do one at a time. She goes buh buh buh buh. Interesting.

• 6:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Somebody tagged me in a, in a TikTok that said, Queen Elizabeth the first had like the longest fingers ever. I think they were like three inches, three and a half inches or something. And they became the beauty standard in England and everybody wanted long fingers.

• 6:59Hannah Berner?

  People are getting finger extensions?

• 7:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, yep. They were like wearing gloves and all of this stuff. And so I just wanna put that out there in the ether.

• 7:06Hannah Berner?

  They were stuffing. They were stuffing their gloves. Wait, maybe you're her reincarnated?

• 7:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Maybe.

• 7:12Hannah Berner?

  That would make, that would actually answer a lot of things.

• 7:15Paige DeSorbo?

  If you have long fingers, like you're that girl.

• 7:18Hannah Berner?

  You're bossing people around.

• 7:20Paige DeSorbo?

  You're a part of the bloodline.

• 7:21Hannah Berner?

  You could also catch a football with one hand. Um, as you guys know, I'm on tour without Paige, fighting for my life. So right now I'm in New York City, but I.

• 7:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, okay. So you're at home.

• 7:39Hannah Berner?

  I was supposed to be in Durham and Charlotte and Nashville, but they got canceled because of the storm.

• 7:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that, down there, they're like freak out. Yeah, they can't go out.

• 7:48Hannah Berner?

  The southern girlies were like, hi Hannah, please read Bless Your Heart, read my DM. I cannot be out here in the ice. I don't care if it's one foot of snow. We're shutting down. We have power outages. We can't do this. So I said, um, fuck this. I'm not having people fight for their lives to get to my show. Um, next week I'm gonna be in Milwaukee and where else? Sorry, I'm blanking. Indianapolis. Um, but.

• 8:13Hannah Berner?

  I've had like pretty good travel up until this last weekend. I had one show in Atlanta. The only show that didn't get cancelled was Atlanta. So I I flew in and then after my show, I see that there's a ten thirty P M. Flight and I said, "Look, she's a jet setter."

• 8:32Paige DeSorbo?

  She's crazy.

• 8:34Hannah Berner?

  Got offstage.

• 8:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 8:36Hannah Berner?

  Got back in the car and said, "Send me home."

• 8:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 8:39Hannah Berner?

  And look, I stayed on the stage a little longer, but I was feeling myself. I was having fun. The Atlanta Gigglers were amazing. And I get in the car and there's some traffic, but I'm not, I'm not worried. You know why? Because I'm a professional. I have clear. I have pre-check.

• 8:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I was just gonna say, are you flying Delta?

• 8:56Hannah Berner?

  Well, that's the thing.

• 8:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 8:57Hannah Berner?

  That's the thing. Have you ever heard of Frontier?

• 9:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm hmm.

• 9:03Hannah Berner?

  I was, I've never really heard of Frontier, so I was optimistic going in.

• 9:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 9:07Hannah Berner?

  It's gr- green logo, green is positivity, wealth, um, this'll go well. Turns out also the Atlanta Airport, the biggest airport, there's a north and a southern hemisphere, hemisphere. And the lady's like, "Is it north or south?" I'm like, "Of what?" First of all, I don't know what north is.

• 9:23Paige DeSorbo?

  A couple of airports I'm not fucking with, Atlanta and Denver. I'm going seven hours early.

• 9:29Hannah Berner?

  And those, both those airports love a train.

• 9:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm hmm, mm.

• 9:32Hannah Berner?

  They love to throw you on a train. Now, Atlanta is like the hub for a lot of international flights, so it is necessary and I respect like the women of the arts that work there. However, I get in.

• 9:44Hannah Berner?

  And I get to the security girl, everything's smooth and she's like, "Oh, we don't have your Frontier flight." And I'm like, "That's crazy." So then I go back to Frontier, come back and they're like, "Oh yeah, sorry, it was our system." So already I'm like, "Okay, that's a little weird, fine." Get to security.

• 10:05Paige DeSorbo?

  You're the only person I know that like can fully go through the airport and they're like, "Hannah Berner? Never heard of her."

• 10:12Hannah Berner?

  I go, "It's on my phone." I go, "Did the flight get cancelled?" They go, "No." And I go, "What's going on?"

• 10:18Hannah Berner?

  Never heard of her. So then I get to, I get to security, they let me through. And I go, where's, um, where's pre-check? And they go, oh, after nine PM in Atlanta, there's no pre-check or, um, the other one.

• 10:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Clear.

• 10:34Hannah Berner?

  Clear. I said, I didn't know that we had a curfew. Cause mama needs to get home.

• 10:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, so, okay, keep going.

• 10:42Hannah Berner?

  So, when I tell you the line was, it said twenty minutes on the thing, and it was one of these mazes that like, you didn't even know where the line started and ended. Like, it was, and my phone, of course, is at eight percent, so I'm like,

• 10:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Of course.

• 10:54Hannah Berner?

  I have to raw dog this line to be able to get there. So, it's nine fifty-five, boarding's at ten oh five. And this plane closes at ten thirty.

• 11:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 11:06Hannah Berner?

  So I'm just thinking, door close, you gotta make it by door close.

• 11:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like door closes ten, fifteen minutes before takeoff, no? Anyway, you're in a pickle, okay, keep going.

• 11:16Hannah Berner?

  We're in a pickle. And you're, I'm looking around, and I realize, like, I can't care in this, like, everyone else is also in a pickle with me, like, everyone is worried about getting on their flight. No one anticipated a thirty-minute wait at ten PM in Atlanta.

• 11:29Paige DeSorbo?

  What, did they shut down the clear, like, machine?

• 11:33Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. No, I was like, I'll do it, I'll fucking start scanning people, what do you need? So I'm just waiting there, can't look at my phone, cause I can't have it lose battery. And I'm waiting, I'm waiting, I'm waiting. It gets to like, ten fifteen, and the door is closed at ten thirty. And there's no other flights after this, babe. Like, this is, you got one shot, do not miss your chance to blow.

• 11:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you have a-

• 11:56Hannah Berner?

  This opportunity comes once in, oh, like, sorry, I'm quoting our man.

• 11:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, I know, sorry. Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off, that was my bad.

• 12:03Hannah Berner?

  Sorry, I was trying to do a monologue, what, what'd you say?

• 12:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you have a flight for Saturday? No.

• 12:11Hannah Berner?

  No. Girl, you got one sho- shot, do not miss your chance to blow.

• 12:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, I should've listened.

• 12:16Hannah Berner?

  So it's 10:15, I have 15 minutes. And I'm like, okay, I'm gonna make it. And then I realize, I don't know where my gate is. I'm in the fucking Atlanta airport. It could be anywhere. Now, mind you, I don't get recognized too much at, um, by airport security, because it's mostly men. So I don't, I don't get like VIP treatment. But I, I get to the front and we're putting, we finally are putting our luggage through.

• 12:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, remember the time that giggler let me come back into America from Canada and I like didn't?

• 12:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I have bronchitis.

• 12:54Hannah Berner?

  You fully do. Before you die, let me finish this story. Before you black out. So I realize I have 10 minutes. And I'm putting my stuff down and this, this guy just looks at me who worked in there and he goes, "Do I know your face from somewhere?" And normally when people say they know you, but they can't put their finger on it, I'm not giving you a resume. I say, I'm not here being like, well, you know, I did do.

• 13:17Paige DeSorbo?

  I had a stint on reality TV.

• 13:21Hannah Berner?

  Now it's on Peacock, I think.

• 13:22Paige DeSorbo?

  You could stream it.

• 13:25Hannah Berner?

  Have you heard of Betches before?

• 13:30Hannah Berner?

  I also have these street videos online. Also, have you heard of Paige? Because people like our friendship.

• 13:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Do, do my chance watch the Hot Wing Challenge?

• 13:44Hannah Berner?

  I did win the trophy. I did win the trophy. People don't talk about it. People don't bring it up ever.

• 13:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, you're so right. You didn't get enough praise for that.

• 13:54Hannah Berner?

  No. So then I, I look at him and I go, "Yes, I'm a comedian." And he goes, "Oh my God." And I go, "Also, my flight..."

• 14:06Hannah Berner?

  Sorry, it's so loud.

• 14:10Hannah Berner?

  I got my flight.

• 14:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you know I read the wrong ads? I read the ads for last week and Grace texted me and goes, you read the wrong ads. And I go, I'm really sick. And she goes, okay.

• 14:23Hannah Berner?

  I'll do some.

• 14:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, keep going.

• 14:26Hannah Berner?

  So I say, by the way, the door is closing on my flight in 10 minutes. And he goes, don't worry, I'll get you through. Takes my luggage and puts it in front of everyone. And I'm like, this be my, this must be my fucking lucky day. As I'm walking through, I'll cocky feeling myself, looking at everyone, I'm like, what's up losers?

• 14:46Hannah Berner?

  I realize, fuck, this morning, I put the water from the flight in my backpack.

• 14:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, Hannah.

• 14:53Hannah Berner?

  So this guy is like, so I'm literally watching and I go, there's water, there's water. And the guys look at me like you dumb ass.

• 14:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, no, it has to go back through.

• 15:00Hannah Berner?

  So it had to go back through, so it literally was a net zero.

• 15:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 15:05Hannah Berner?

  Um, but I was like, I love you so much. Then I go, how long until I get to C7? He goes, with no drama, six minutes.

• 15:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, what could the drama possibly be?

• 15:15Hannah Berner?

  I have to get on a train. So I have seven minutes. I have six minutes, but there's seven minutes.

• 15:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:24Hannah Berner?

  I have to make it in six minutes. So first I walk down, the train says it's two minutes away. When the fuck has the train ever been two minutes away? I, that's never happened to me, ever.

• 15:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, what is this, a goddamn subway trying to get to Brooklyn?

• 15:38Hannah Berner?

  Also, do you know how long two minutes feels when like, I felt like I was holding a plank. I felt like I was having the worst sex in my life. I was like, when is every second gonna be over? I'm from, looking around, I'm freaking, I'm tweaking. I get on, it's three stops and I have seven minutes. So, and I'm just checking my phone, which is dying, by the way, my phone's dead. So then I finally get off, I have three minutes to get to C7. And it's, and it's C1 to C40. And I go, please God, have C7 be closed.

• 16:10Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, I always see people like you in the airport and I always think.

• 16:14Hannah Berner?

  How did they get there? What decisions did they make?

• 16:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, what happened earlier today? That they're running full speed.

• 16:24Hannah Berner?

  I also did an preface for you. I'm in my full outfit that I wore on stage. I'm wearing a tie. I'm wearing my high-waisted, what are they called? Cumber batches? Cumber buns?

• 16:36Paige DeSorbo?

  A cumber bun?

• 16:37Hannah Berner?

  Some, a cumber bun. And my Amazon high boots with heels.

• 16:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I know.

• 16:44Hannah Berner?

  So...

• 16:44Paige DeSorbo?

  You didn't, you didn't change in the car into like sweats and sneakers? Why didn't you change in the green room?

• 16:50Hannah Berner?

  Cause in my head, well, I ran, I didn't go to the green room. I ran out onto the car and in my head, I was like, I'll be there thirty minutes early and I'll do it peacefully in one of the small bathroom stalls where you like can't even move. Um, also mind you, to get to the walking place, you have to go up the longest escalator in the history of escalators. And me and this other girl I can see, we both are like, she starts running, right? And I'm behind her. We're holding our luggage. Grown women, holding our luggage, running up the escalator and then she starts getting too tired. Cause this is a long escalator and she literally looks at me and she was like, "Save yourself." Like, I can't, I can't go on.

• 17:32Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, "Okay, well, I'll tell them to wait." And she was like, "C four." And I was like, "Okay, ma'am."

• 17:41Hannah Berner?

  So I'm...

• 17:41Paige DeSorbo?

  This is like saving Private Ryan, like what?

• 17:44Hannah Berner?

  I'm running up and I see that I have three minutes to get from, of course, C seven is at the far end. So I have to go from C forty to C seven in three minutes.

• 17:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 17:55Hannah Berner?

  It's possible, but I need to do high knees.

• 17:58Paige DeSorbo?

  I would have cried. I would have been crying.

• 17:59Hannah Berner?

  I start running. You know, we talked about the mile test?

• 18:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 18:03Hannah Berner?

  I was back in college, six AM, running the mile, fighting for my life.

• 18:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Sometimes I feel like we talk about something on here and we're like, "That'll never happen again." And then the universe is like, "You manifested it. Here it is."

• 18:17Hannah Berner?

  Paige, do you know when you're like running late for something? I don't know if you'd ever go into a jog if you're running late. I feel like you would just lay down, but...

• 18:24Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you wanna know what I do is I speed walk, speed walk, speed walk, stop. Walk normal, speed walk, speed walk, speed walk.

• 18:30Hannah Berner?

  So I do this all the time in New York, but I'll run, then stop. So imagine when you're running and you feel like you need to stop and then saying Hannah, you got one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. So I'm running to the point where I start feeling like blood in my throat. Have you ever?

• 18:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god, yes, I know what you're talking about.

• 18:48Hannah Berner?

  I'm dying and I'm looking at my phone and it's at, it's at 10:29, doors close at 10:30. And I'm literally still like five gates away and I'm dead, like I'm nothing, I am, do not have the cardio for this. I do not have the cardio.

• 19:03Paige DeSorbo?

  In heels? This is crazy.

• 19:05Hannah Berner?

  Pilates does not help you with cardio, I'm just gonna say it in case anyone was confused. But um, I do have a good pelvic tilt. Anyway, so I'm, I'm running, I'm running and I'm dying, I'm sweating, I'm breathing so heavy, I'm starting to make like asthmatic noises, I'm like

• 19:21Hannah Berner?

  So, and then I see that there's people at the gate, but I'm assuming it's cuz like the next flight is already ready to go.

• 19:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:29Hannah Berner?

  So I sprint and I look at my phone and it's 10:30 on the dot. And I go to the guy and then he goes, what are you here for? And I'm like, the my, I have to go to the

• 19:40Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, my flight, you're like, take me home.

• 19:44Hannah Berner?

  Take me home. And he looks at me and goes, oh, we already shut the doors. And I go, I, I take my phone and go, but it's 10:30, you said doors close at 10:30. And he's like, yeah, we already closed it. And I look at him and he looks at me and then he pauses for like three seconds, he goes, just kidding, the flight's delayed. In that moment, I realized not only have I been punked.

• 20:06Paige DeSorbo?

  By a man.

• 20:07Hannah Berner?

  By a man. And I don't, I don't like when men make jokes.

• 20:10Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, isn't your crowd having enough problems that you gotta start beefing with me? Like, isn't your club in enough hot water?

• 20:20Hannah Berner?

  I was at my lowest point and he took a fucking dagger and stabbed me. So then people around me are like giggling.

• 20:28Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's what they do, and that's what they do.

• 20:29Hannah Berner?

  That's what they do. They, they, talk about punching down. Um, so I'm, but I also feel a mix of emotions cuz part of me is like, great. I got, I, I didn't miss it, but then part of me is like, that was fucked up. And then part of me is also like, oh no, how long am I gonna have to wait? We had to wait like two and a half hours, I got home at like 3:30 AM.

• 20:51Hannah Berner?

  I got McDonald's at like 1 a.m. at the airport. It was kind of fabulous.

• 20:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that's low-key kind of so fun. Did you change?

• 20:59Hannah Berner?

  Well, then after that, I was like, okay, I need to change. I go to change, but I s- I didn't catch my breath.

• 21:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:05Hannah Berner?

  For forty minutes.

• 21:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:07Hannah Berner?

  I at one point was lying down on the ground.

• 21:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Was there anyone else in the airport? Probably not. Were there?

• 21:14Hannah Berner?

  There were not that many people.

• 21:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:15Hannah Berner?

  Um, if any gigglers saw me at the Atlanta airport on, I believe, Friday night, that was the kind of backstory.

• 21:23Paige DeSorbo?

  What a story.

• 21:25Hannah Berner?

  And actually, I woke up, my thighs are burning, like so sore. Um, I'm traumatized. I th- it was the whole thing. I just, I wouldn't wish I'm- oh! Then I get on the flight. Sorry, I'm not dumb. Frontier is a bunch of animals, okay? And all kinds of animals, by the way. The, the girl next to me, and I say girl lightly, she was nineteen.

• 21:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 21:50Hannah Berner?

  Was putting her foot on my armrest, which I was using, obviously. So she kept kicking my elbow when I was trying to sleep, and I was like, ma'am. Like, I kept doing the like kind of turn, and she just kept doing it. And then the woman in front of me.

• 22:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Nineteen, is that Gen Z? Nineteen?

• 22:08Hannah Berner?

  I think it's alpha. But the woman in front of me was humming the whole time, and I know it sounds nice and sweet. It wasn't. I was trying to sleep, and you just hear like, I don't even know what song you're humming, which is throwing me off. It's actually like, uh, it really was pissing me off. And then there was a midwestern couple on the left, who were talking like this. Every single thing they're gonna do on their vacation, they had to talk about. And it was like, you're sitting next to each other. Why are we yelling pleasantries at each other? You're married. What do you possibly have to talk about at a 1 a.m. flight?

• 22:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that's crazy.

• 22:43Hannah Berner?

  Oh, and you had to pay for water.

• 22:48Hannah Berner?

  No, I know. It was, it was so.

• 22:50Paige DeSorbo?

  We're not doing well over here.

• 22:53Hannah Berner?

  We're not doing well. But anyway, I made it, and I'm so excited for tour. Um, St. Louis, Missouri, I'm coming. Anyway, what's going on with you?

• 23:01Paige DeSorbo?

  A word, a quick word from my sponsor, Aquaphor.

• 23:06Hannah Berner?

  Oh wait, you got the thick one.

• 23:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, they're not actually a sponsor, but let me influence you on something else when you're sick. You have to have the Aquaphor balm stick for the winter because if you live in a cold climate, putting chapstick just on your lips isn't gonna frickin cut it. So you have-

• 23:27Hannah Berner?

  So you're putting it all over?

• 23:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I'm putting it right here, honey.

• 23:29Hannah Berner?

  What is it called? Do you remember slugging? Remember when you were like obsessed with slugging?

• 23:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I was obsessed with that.

• 23:34Hannah Berner?

  Is that how you slug without that?

• 23:36Paige DeSorbo?

  This is probably like cross-contamination, but I don't give a fuck.

• 23:38Hannah Berner?

  I mean, this is the thing. You are influencing everyone, but you also are not getting better. So I feel like everyone should take it with a grain of salt.

• 23:46Hannah Berner?

  She's like choking on herself. She's like, this has been amazing. Yep, yep. Um, fun update in the Giggly Squad community. A giggler DM'd me and said she named her sourdough starters Hannah and Paige.

• 24:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I have actually had a couple of those, um, because my last name, De Sorbo, the girls are really innovative on how they make it a sourdough, de-sour- they're smart about it.

• 24:18Hannah Berner?

  Paige De-Sourdough?

• 24:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, something like that.

• 24:20Hannah Berner?

  Paige De- Starter? I love that.

• 24:22Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Afagato. Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around 2 o'clock. Whether that's making a pick-me-up coffee, or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Afagato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat-yourself moment in the middle of the day, and this is a classic Hershey's Milk Chocolate layered with a salted caramel or Afagato creme filling.

• 25:04Paige DeSorbo?

  So it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate. Pick up the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel or Afagato wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite. Okay, autumn in New York is the season where we can finally start dressing again. Every single thing is an excuse to put on a look. Going to work, outfit. Leading a meeting, outfit. Getting drinks with your friends, obviously outfit. And as we all know, every great outfit starts from the feet up. That is why I'm currently obsessed with alleys from Sam Edelman. They're a ballet flat, but a little something extra for fall. A contrasting velvet cap toe, I have them in this gorgeous azure blue, which is like a dusty muted blue that somehow goes with everything, even Daphne's eyes.

• 25:48Paige DeSorbo?

  They're so cute and I'm already envisioning my next outfit. Straight leg jeans, an oversized blazer and a little shoulder bag. Very, I just threw this on when we all know I absolutely did not. And Hannah is loving hers too. She has the Michaela, which is the Sam Edelman's take on a Mary Jane. And this season it comes in the chicest leopard. So gorge, so easy and exactly the kind of shoe that makes an otherwise basic outfit look like you actually tried. And there's so much more coming from Sam Edelman this fall beyond these two. Like the new Teigan and Tallulah pumps, plus ready to wear handbags, fragrances, and even a new men's collection. So basically you can make sure both you and your man are looking good for date night because we're not doing all that getting dressed just to let him show up in a t-shirt.

• 26:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Head to samedelman.com and get 15% off with code GIGGLY15. Can we talk about the difference between a home that's furnished and a home that's intentional? Because if you're still living with a mattress on the floor at 25, that's crazy. And Cozy is here to help. Bed frames, sofas, rugs, shelves, tables. Cozy has everything and it all comes in boxes directly to your door. Cozy furniture is modular, so the piece you buy for your current place can reconfigure to fit your next one. And you can always add as your space and taste evolves. You can swap covers when you want to change and they go right in the wash whenever you spill something. If you have no clue where to start, they offer free one-on-one design consultations so a real person can help you plan your space. No fees.

• 27:17Paige DeSorbo?

  So transform your living space today with Cozy. That's C-O-Z-E-Y.com. Make yourself at home. Giggly Squad, as we know, is A sports podcast, but it's also a mental health podcast. And if you've ever had intrusive thoughts, you're not alone. For millions of people, it's not just anxiety, that's OCD. And most of them have no idea. Real OCD is persistent, unwanted intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character, along with mental or physical behaviors you feel driven to do to get relief. And these thoughts can feel very real, which makes them so upsetting. OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy. It needs ERP, Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy, proven to be the most effective treatment.

• 28:01Paige DeSorbo?

  NoCD is the world's leading provider of OCD treatment, covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. Licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy in live, face-to-face, virtual sessions, with support between sessions, so you're never facing OCD alone. If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NoCD can help. Book a free 15-minute call to get started at learn.noCD.com/giggle. Wait, I saw something the other day. You know how, you know how we're always like, oh, sometimes you go and you watch a video and you're like, that was crazy, let me check the comments, everyone must think that's crazy. And they don't, and they're like really agreeing.

• 28:44Paige DeSorbo?

  And I always am like, I have to remember that example to tell Hannah, because we never have like, a good example.

• 28:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw a TikTok video, and it was this girl being like, why do we need sex scenes? They're like so intrusive, they're like so much like, like, okay, just allude to the fact that like, they're having sex, like, I don't need like a full sex scene. And I was like, surely, this is rage bait, like, no sex scene in a movie, like, certain movies.

• 29:13Hannah Berner?

  Was she Amish?

• 29:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Just Gen Z. I go into the, I go into the comments, and they're like, seriously, especially when like the scene starts out as like they're having sex, and I'm like,

• 29:26Hannah Berner?

  That's every great movie, Bridesmaids, hello, greatest movie of all time.

• 29:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like,

• 29:30Hannah Berner?

  Kristen Wiig on top of Jon Hamm, thank you, give me 27 of them right now.

• 29:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Fucking Lou, I'm like, are you kidding me? Like, there are, there are some movies that I'm like, I will, do you remember my stint with 365? I mean, hello?

• 29:45Hannah Berner?

  Also, I don't know, grow up, like, if I'm watching a love affair movie and they don't,

• 29:51Hannah Berner?

  Show a li- I wanna be like judging the chemistry with the casting, right?

• 29:54Paige DeSorbo?

  It's also just like, you're watching a fucking movie. It's not real life. And-

• 29:59Hannah Berner?

  Sex is part of life and, and life is art and art is movies and sex is movies.

• 30:04Paige DeSorbo?

  And it made me think like, oh my god, are they so... I think maybe the girl was even younger. Now I'm like, maybe it is Gen Alpha. Are they so not socialized with each other? That they don't even, cuz also the teen pregnancy rate is down. And I know that everyone thinks it's a good thing, but you know what? We've got a bunch of losers out there. They're not even going out and having sex. A part of high school, a peak canon event in high school is thinking you're pregnant when you like haven't even really had sex.

• 30:35Hannah Berner?

  A handjob, a handjob. And you're like, oh no, I think, I think it went on my hand and then I brushed my teeth and then it might've, when I slept, went in my mouth and then went through my-

• 30:44Paige DeSorbo?

  If you don't sit in a homeroom and think, do you think I have chlamydia? And your best friend's like, I don't know, like what do you think?

• 30:50Hannah Berner?

  The amount of friends I talked off the ledge about their chlamydia, not knowing if they had it or not, but just wanted to-

• 30:55Paige DeSorbo?

  The amount of pregnancy tests I think collectively my friends in high school took to all be negative because it's actually hard to get pregnant. I'm like, what is going on?

• 31:07Hannah Berner?

  And then the girls who did get pregnant when they were 16 back in our day, they got famous on MTV.

• 31:13Paige DeSorbo?

  And we carved a space for them, okay?

• 31:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Anyway, so I saw that and I was like so annoyed by it. Um... Also, I've added something to my nighttime routine and, which brings me to my next point. There was this girl that made this TikTok about her sister. And it was like she was praising her sister. She was just like, my sister's so cool. Like I've always like loved everything about my sister. My friends love my sister. She's just so perfect. She's so nice. She's so gorgeous. And she was like, and then I realized that she's so pretty and she's so like delicate, but she also does a ton of shit that I would never want to do or think about doing. And then she started talking about how like grooming and being ultra like

• 32:02Paige DeSorbo?

  you love your skincare routine, like you wanna do all these different, you wanna do a hair mask, all of this stuff is actually a hobby. Like my Sunday routine is one of my most favorite hobbies. And why it's looked down upon when it's literally just hygiene. Are you, have you noticed my lip at all?

• 32:23Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 32:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 32:29Hannah Berner?

  This is girlhood, going on a rant about nothing and being like, am I ugly?

• 32:35Hannah Berner?

  Have you been looking at my lip because I'm ugly? Like, no, I'm trying to understand what you're saying in between coughs.

• 32:43Hannah Berner?

  No, Paige, not to like make you like,

• 32:47Hannah Berner?

  basically you've inspired me to take care of myself more because I didn't realize you could have so much joy out of such little things. And you know what? We work on living such a big life all the time. And it's crazy because in my 30s now I'm like, I just want to enjoy the little things of life. Because that's all you really can control. Is, is that face mask going to hit when you put it on? That's life.

• 33:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I know I said a couple of years ago that I didn't want to ever slow down, but honey, I am.

• 33:18Hannah Berner?

  Paige, I'm off this weekend, by the way. Like I haven't been off in forever. Do you know what I did?

• 33:22Paige DeSorbo?

  What?

• 33:24Hannah Berner?

  Well, the, the building made a new law that if you want to put your boxes away to recycling, you have to cut them first. You have to cut the boxes. I don't know if it's my fault. I don't know how it happened.

• 33:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Nothing worse than getting an email after you've done something and you're like, hmm.

• 33:40Hannah Berner?

  So Dez told me that he bought a box cutter, which I thought was aggressive and honestly like male toxicness.

• 33:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I own two.

• 33:47Hannah Berner?

  We don't need a box cutter to box, to cut boxes.

• 33:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, what are you talking about? I own literally two box cutters. How are you going through life without a box cutter?

• 33:57Hannah Berner?

  You have like some toxic, toxic masculinity to you, but that's for another time.

• 34:01Paige DeSorbo?

  How do you open an Amazon package without a box cutter?

• 34:05Hannah Berner?

  With a scissor, cuz I'm a woman of the arts. I'm not,

• 34:10Hannah Berner?

  I'm not bringing out a weapon to open up. But anyway.

• 34:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I also own bolt cutters, so.

• 34:16Hannah Berner?

  Dez is gone in Toronto this weekend, shout out. Dez working his little butt off. So I'm here with all these Amazon boxes and I noticed this box cutter and I said, okay, let's give it a try. Like, I appreciate other cultures, let's figure it out. Holy fuck, that felt amazing.

• 34:33Paige DeSorbo?

  No, box cutters are amazing.

• 34:35Hannah Berner?

  Is, I could not stop cutting boxes. I cut every box in the house. I layered them up. I called Dez. I go, you're not gonna fucking believe it. I love cutting boxes. It's my new hobby. It's my new passion. If anyone needs a box cut, send it to me.

• 34:49Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm gonna get you a letter opener for your birthday. The, the joy of-

• 34:55Hannah Berner?

  But Paige, this is my problem. I don't, I don't like receiving mail.

• 34:58Paige DeSorbo?

  I know.

• 34:59Hannah Berner?

  Like, actual mail.

• 35:00Paige DeSorbo?

  You will if you get to put a knife out. If you get to pull a knife out, you actually will receive, like, receiving mail. I'm telling you.

• 35:07Hannah Berner?

  No, like, it, it's the most, like, ASMR relaxing feeling. Cutting up boxes and then putting them in a layered way and then getting them out of your apartment. So that's what I've been up to all weekend.

• 35:19Paige DeSorbo?

  There's also nothing like spending a weekend, like, throwing shit away at your apartment.

• 35:23Hannah Berner?

  Ah, do you think we're losing listeners? They're like, okay, Hannah's cutting boxes. You're just coughing.

• 35:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Not till I tell you the next thing you have to buy. I recently bought, part of my nighttime machine, a red light. Me and Kitty lay on the bed every single night.

• 35:40Hannah Berner?

  Does she have a red light?

• 35:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, well, Paris Hilton said that she red lighted her chihuahua and she literally lived to like seventeen. And so I was like, Kitty, get your fucking ass over here. We're red light therapy. Now, I wear protective sunglasses, but I can't find small ones for cats. So I've just been putting regular sunglasses on Kitty, but I'm nervous that I'm not protecting her eyes well enough. But I, I would assume she's closing them. No, I'm like, can't be that stupid Kitty.

• 36:12Hannah Berner?

  Pete is gonna be on the phone, surely.

• 36:14Paige DeSorbo?

  They're definitely, yeah, they're just not happy about it. Um.

• 36:19Paige DeSorbo?

  One other thing I could not wait to talk to you about. Did you see the Adam Sandler Chanel? Uh, store thing?

• 36:29Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 36:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, so apparently there's this, I, it's like a rumor slash like story that Adam Sandler's daughter went into a Chanel store in, I think, Los Angeles. And she was dressed like a normal like kid. I think she had like sweatpants on and like a hoodie.

• 36:47Paige DeSorbo?

  And she goes in and she's asking the saleswoman like, oh, can I see this bag? And the bag was like twenty grand or like twenty-five thousand dollars. And the sales lady was like, this is for serious customers. Like, no, I'm not showing you this bag. Like, it's twenty-six thousand dollars. And so she calls her dad and she tells Adam Sandler like what happened. He comes into the store and he goes like up to his daughter, puts his arm around her. Says to the saleswoman like, so you judge people based on how they look and like what they're wearing? I'll take every style that this bag is in every color in the whole store.

• 37:30Paige DeSorbo?

  He walked out, he spent like three hundred thousand dollars and bought all their bags.

• 37:35Hannah Berner?

  But he just gave her like the best commission ever.

• 37:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, that's why I knew I wanted to bring this up to you.

• 37:42Hannah Berner?

  You had to go to another store and you're supposed to say, huge mistake, huge. Go to Prada, get all Prada bags, walk past Chanel and be like, suck my dick.

• 37:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Watch a Julia Roberts movie. But what, isn't that so? What a story.

• 37:56Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say though, I went shopping this weekend because you know, I've been, I, I need to get boxes to cut.

• 38:05Hannah Berner?

  Chicken or the egg, you know? So I, my daily wear, and I think it's because I'm an athlete, is what I've been telling myself now. If I'm not performing, I'm in, I'm in practice clothes, right? Like, I'm wearing sweats, I'm wearing a t-shirt, and I'm wearing a zip-up hoodie. I like it monochromatic, it's all gray. Also, no, I'm not putting makeup on. Yes, I haven't brushed my hair. And then I'm walking through this, like, nice area of stores, and I realize, like, I don't feel comfortable walking into these stores because they're looking at me, like, I just climbed out of the ground.

• 38:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 38:41Hannah Berner?

  The subway.

• 38:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 38:42Hannah Berner?

  Um, but I do have to, um, call a store out. I went into the Supreme store, which is a very cool store, and it's all these, like, boys. I'm not gonna say men, because it's all these, like, boys, and they, like, one of them, like, has a skateboard, like, I don't know what's go- the vibe is kinda crazy. And I'm like, I'm a fucking New Yorker. Like, I've known about Supreme since day one.

• 39:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:03Hannah Berner?

  Everyone calm down. But these boys are, like, they're all hanging and, like, talking really loudly. The guys who work at the store.

• 39:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, oh, okay, so not customers?

• 39:10Hannah Berner?

  No, and it's this big, big store. And it has this huge opening in the middle, and the clothes are just around the edges. So, like, I love a t-shirt more than anyone, so I see, like, a cool Supreme t-shirt. I'm obsessed, I love Supreme. But it's, like, a large, and I'm like, mm, maybe it'll be too baggy, Paige will get mad, whatever. So I look at the guy, who's very nice, and I said, can I try this on? And he goes, "Yeah." And I go, "Do you have a dressing room?" And he goes, "Oh, no, you have to try on the shirts right here." And I looked at him like, "What?" And he's like, "Yeah, just, you could put it over your shirt." I was like, "What kind of, like..."

• 39:48Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that's illegal, Hannah.

• 39:50Hannah Berner?

  Humiliation ritual is going- I'm like, "What in the Oritsia?"

• 39:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm pretty sure that's illegal. No, you can't do that.

• 39:59Hannah Berner?

  So if it was a pant, I'm allowed to use the dressing room, but I can't-

• 40:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you ask that?

• 40:03Hannah Berner?

  For a t-shirt? Well, then I was like, "Fuck it, I'll just get the medium."

• 40:09Hannah Berner?

  I'm Adam Sandler.

• 40:10Paige DeSorbo?

  You Adam Sandler, you were like, you know what? This is a horrible policy, I'll take three.

• 40:16Hannah Berner?

  This is sexist, this is weird, but the shirt is really cool. But I'm gonna talk about it on my podcast, and I don't like this at all. But what the fu- like, they had dressing rooms, would not let me go, so then I'm like, okay, do I have to pull a a pant to go try it out?

• 40:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Were you by yourself?

• 40:33Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I was so scared. It was me and just all these men, and he's like, yeah, try on the shirt. I'm like, what? What? Have some coof. Have some coof. Also, no, my, I'm sweating underneath, my armpits are sweating.

• 40:46Paige DeSorbo?

  That's where we are so different.

• 40:49Hannah Berner?

  Like, what would you have done?

• 40:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, okay, I don't wanna say that I'm a Karen by any means, because I'm not ever asking for like, a manager, or like, but I'm definitely being like, that's so fucking weird, and there's no way that's real, like...

• 41:04Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, you would say that. Also, I hate to say it, and this could be totally false. I feel like if you asked, they would be like, oh yes, little princess, go try it on in the back. But like, me, I was like, I was like, what, what, what shirt is this? And he's like, put it on!

• 41:20Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, I'm still a lady, and I actually have gorgeous breasts under this outfit, that you can't see. But he was literally like, try!

• 41:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Stop, you're making me cough, you're making me cough too loud.

• 41:35Hannah Berner?

  We've all been in Zara where you're like, yeah, I'll try this bomber jacket on over my outfit, but no one's trying a t-shirt over their t-shirt.

• 41:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the other thing. Like, Zara and Aritzia, it's all girls, too, so it's like...

• 41:47Hannah Berner?

  It's all, Paige, I was so scared in that moment. There was like fifteen boys, they're all in their twenties, standing there, and the guy's like, try the shirt on. Put it over your shirt. I was like, I felt... I don't know, I was like, what fraternity am I in right now? Are you gonna make, try to make me make out with my friend also? Like, what's going on?

• 42:09Hannah Berner?

  He's like, we have some punch in the back too, if you want to taste it. It's, it's, it's the frat masters recipe.

• 42:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Another girl walks in, he's like, do you guys know each other?

• 42:20Hannah Berner?

  No, but at first I was like, this is so cool of me to be like the only girl here and taking up space in this male dominated store. And then he was like, try it on the in the middle if you're really cool. And I was like, I'm not and I'm scared.

• 42:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Show us your tits if you want the shirt. Free if you show us your tits.

• 42:37Hannah Berner?

  Literally, I do have to say, that was so, but then I went into Kith afterwards because I was in my like cool girl era. And they were so kind and they got me in the back and I could try on clothes without all these men staring at me.

• 42:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, oh my God. What a crazy shot. I've never in my life, like even Aritzia, they're like, oh, the mirror is in the middle. Shut the fuck up. Like that, I think is the craziest thing ever.

• 43:03Hannah Berner?

  I never got into Aritzia.

• 43:04Paige DeSorbo?

  I've literally, I don't own a single thing from Aritzia because here's the other thing. Shopping in person, it, there is no shopping in person. It's actually, it makes me so sad. And if I really sit down and think about it, I'll cry.

• 43:18Hannah Berner?

  Is important, touching it, seeing how it actually hangs on your body.

• 43:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Example is like, I do so many segments for the Today Show and like, because it's news and like, sometimes I won't know like until like four or five days before. And if I have to do like four outfits for a segment of like all different body types, all different ages, I have to order clothes.

• 43:43Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 43:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I can't even, sometimes if something doesn't fit or like I don't have the right item, I can't even go and find it in stores. And I'm like, this is New York City. And they're like, every time I walk into a store, they're like, we don't have it in the store. You're going to have to order it online. And I'm like,

• 43:59Hannah Berner?

  It's like, what's in the stores? It's such a weird time.

• 44:03Paige DeSorbo?

  It's such a weird shopping time.

• 44:06Hannah Berner?

  I was just thinking about, let's say I said yes to the guy. I said, okay. And I put down my, my purse, which I don't like, I hate that. And then I take off my zip up and who knows if I'm wearing a bra, you know me, I probably didn't have a bra on. And then I put the shirt over my head with all the men watching, then these men are going to tell me if it looks good or not. That's diabolical. Then if I don't, then I have to take it off in front of everyone and it gets like stuck on my earring or something.

• 44:34Paige DeSorbo?

  No Hannah, they're hazing you.

• 44:35Hannah Berner?

  To a new country.

• 44:37Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never heard that in my life.

• 44:40Hannah Berner?

  I got bullied at Supreme and I will be wearing the t-shirts on just one of the next pods.

• 44:46Paige DeSorbo?

  And I will be supporting their company.

• 44:49Paige DeSorbo?

  And I will continue to purchase from there.

• 44:52Hannah Berner?

  Also, when I got to the the register, the guy was, I was like, I was like, how are you? And I was like, good. How are you? And he said chill. And I was like, I'll fuck and blow my brains out. I need to get out of here. I need to get out of here. He was like chill, chill, shut the fuck, shut up. You, you shut the fuck up. You grew up in Connecticut. Shut up.

• 45:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Young men are scary.

• 45:13Hannah Berner?

  Girls are allowed to grow up in Connecticut, by the way. Girls are allowed to, boys aren't.

• 45:20Paige DeSorbo?

  That is one of the realest things you've ever said. That's so true. Girls are from Connecticut. Not boys.

• 45:30Hannah Berner?

  Boys are not, the boys from Connecticut.

• 45:35Hannah Berner?

  You, you grew up in Connecticut? No, thank you.

• 45:38Paige DeSorbo?

  The archetype of that?

• 45:40Hannah Berner?

  That's why all the guys lie when they grow up in Connecticut.

• 45:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's what we don't talk about enough as women. Thinning hair is common and there's something you can actually do about it. Hers gives you access to prescription hair regrowth treatment personalized to you and delivered right to your door. Are you ever looking at photos and part of your hair looks wider than it used to? Or you notice in the mirror, your hair just looking different? And then the shower drain, there's so much hair. Hers is built around the science of hair regrowth. Getting started is simple. All you have to do is complete an intake form online and connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your treatment is delivered right to your door. No pharmacy trips, no insurance necessary. And all you have to do is see thicker, fuller hair.

• 46:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Get ready for thicker, fuller hair. Start your free online visit today at hers.com/giggly for personalized hair. That's F O R H E R S dot com slash giggly for hers dot com slash giggly. Individual results may vary. Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety. Effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. I've always wanted to be more consistent with strength training, but my biggest problem is getting to the gym and thinking, okay, now what? I'll do a few exercises I remember, maybe pull something up I saved on Instagram, but there's really never any planning behind it and you know I hate a workout class.

• 47:12Paige DeSorbo?

  That's why I've been loving the Ladder app. I can open it and my workout is already planned and I can do it anywhere. You have an expert coach and you know exactly what exercises you're doing, how many sets, how many reps, and the in-ear coaching gives you cues and motivation throughout the workout. It genuinely feels like you have a personal trainer in your headphones. I've been using this for a while now and I also feel and see myself getting stronger each day because of Ladder. I have also been eyeing their Pilates workout routines for a little while now, so that will definitely be my next workout venture. And for less than $1 a day, you can't beat it. And I love that Ladder remembers my weights, reps, and sets because I can actually see my progress instead of wondering whether I'm doing it all correctly. Plus, you can get a new plan every week that builds on the last.

• 47:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Remove the guesswork with Ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything is planned for you. And if you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit/giggly and take a quick quiz to find your perfect Ladder plan. Use our link to get a free seven-day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join.

• 48:16Hannah Berner?

  Giggler, the holidays are coming and Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest-ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats, I'm a cat missionary and make sure everyone in my life has a cat and I'm doing really well at it. I foster and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes. And around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home. But the holidays, you guys are hosting, you have your cat, and you have such a to-do list, you know? Hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy, so that part is already handled in the background.

• 48:59Hannah Berner?

  So then I can focus on my guests and maybe convince one of them they need a cat. For all my fellow cat parents, be guest-ready with Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. Find it now at Walmart or Amazon.

• 49:11Paige DeSorbo?

  You know when someone walks into a room and you're like, okay, she has something. It's confidence. It's that effortless, put-together energy. Honestly, a lot of time, it's the smile. Well, it doesn't happen by itself. There's chemistry behind the charisma. Colgate Optic White Pro Series Toothpaste is clinically proven to remove 15 years of stains when you brush twice daily for only two weeks. The formula is powered by hydrogen peroxide complex, Colgate's unique formulation of hydrogen peroxide, which is the ingredient dentists use to whiten teeth. Colgate Optic White Pro Series Toothpaste works at the molecular level to gently dissolve stains deep within the enamel where your brush can't reach. I have to drink my daily coffee every morning. I literally go to bed thinking about it.

• 49:57Paige DeSorbo?

  So cutting out coffee is just not an option for me when it comes to whitening my teeth. And a good smile is kind of like a great outfit. You don't always know why someone looks put together. You just know that they do. I love that Colgate Optic White Pro Series Toothpaste works on those everyday stains while still being enamel safe for daily use. It's proof that daily routine can be remarkable. That's the science of wow. Colgate Optic White.

• 50:23Hannah Berner?

  Have you heard of the concept forearm-to-calf ratio?

• 50:28Paige DeSorbo?

  No, Hannah. You know, I'm sick right now. I don't need this. I don't need a...

• 50:36Hannah Berner?

  Sorry, I was starting with a question.

• 50:39Paige DeSorbo?

  What happened to... Hello, how are you?

• 50:42Hannah Berner?

  How are you?

• 50:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I'm literally in a fragile state and you're like, have you ever done algebra?

• 50:49Hannah Berner?

  It's because it was math that was triggering. I'm really sorry. Well, it's not real math, but I was talking to one of my single friends, shout out Gabby Bryan, who is my only other blonde friend I talk about on the pod, who has never met Paige, but they DM. So she's single.

• 51:06Hannah Berner?

  She's single and we had a show in Atlanta and she was like, I found this guy on Instagram I wanna, I've been chatting to. So immediately I'm like, send it to me. Cause one thing I will do is live vicariously through my single friends. I want every detail. I'm, I'm part of it.

• 51:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 51:19Hannah Berner?

  So I see the guy and he's standing in front of like some cabinets and I just said, ooh, can you double check that cabinet video? I don't like where his head was compared to the cabinets. It's giving like five, five nine, five 10. And Gabby's tall. Gabby's like five 10. Um, and you don't want to kiss like looking down. So I was just looking out for her.

• 51:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Also looking eyes to eyes. I'm like,

• 51:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like I'm in an eye exam. I feel like you are my eye doctor.

• 51:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, I actually can't see that.

• 51:49Hannah Berner?

  If we hug and your head goes in my neck, I'm out.

• 51:55Hannah Berner?

  I'm out. I'm out. If you're curled up in my bosom, I'm out.

• 52:00Paige DeSorbo?

  What are you, a squirrel? Don't snuggle up into my neck, you freak.

• 52:05Hannah Berner?

  No, I want my hand to be a little high when I'm trying to hold your hand. Anyway, I digress.

• 52:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I can't hold hands with anyone. It's actually so.

• 52:13Hannah Berner?

  That's.

• 52:14Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so crazy.

• 52:15Hannah Berner?

  Disposing cons to your gift.

• 52:19Hannah Berner?

  The guy's like, why? You have a claw. Um.

• 52:22Paige DeSorbo?

  That claw.

• 52:24Hannah Berner?

  So, stop laughing. You're gonna cough. Stop, stop it, stop. So Gabby was like, don't worry. I did the forearm to calf ratio. I said, I've never heard of this. So she basically was like, if he has short calves, it means he's short. And I was like, that's not true. Cause I have short calves and I'm five seven. Cause I'm all torso. And she's like, yeah, that's why you also double check, check that they have long forearms. And I was like, I've never thought of this before. But I don't know if it's true.

• 52:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait a minute. I thought this was somehow gonna relate to their dick. And I'm really pissed that it doesn't. Like.

• 53:00Hannah Berner?

  No, but like also, I feel like I don't have particularly long forearms. I'm just torso and I'm tall. I think girls are just trying to like, understand.

• 53:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you know that your foot is the size of your forearm?

• 53:14Hannah Berner?

  My forearm's longer than my foot. It's not true.

• 53:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, well, you're an alien and a freak.

• 53:20Hannah Berner?

  Who told you, who told you that?

• 53:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know. Wait, there's one other cuckoo wacko thing I bought on TikTok. Well, actually, no, I didn't buy it on TikTok cause the millennial in me makes me go over to Amazon and I buy it.

• 53:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I can't do purchases on TikTok, that's insane.

• 53:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Tuning forks?

• 53:40Hannah Berner?

  Oh, we lost her. You guys who lost her. She's far, far too gone. Paige.

• 53:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I took an oregano supplement earlier too, and I think it's

• 53:51Hannah Berner?

  Wait, did I tell you I've been taking oregano supplements?

• 53:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Shut the fuck up.

• 53:56Hannah Berner?

  De Sorbo, shut the fuck up, you witch. You little witch. No, because I've been on tour with Ally Colbert and she gets sick because she's weak. Gets me sick, now I'm weak, now we're both weak. And I tell her that it's mental and then I get it. She goes, have you taken an oregano shot? And I was like, fuck yeah, let's do it. And she goes, it's really, really painful. It tastes really bad. And I'm like, I'm not a pussy. I've taken tequila shots, I could take an oregano shot. The way I almost died in that Uber.

• 54:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Oregano is like no fucking joke. Well.

• 54:29Hannah Berner?

  Who, who told you to take it?

• 54:30Paige DeSorbo?

  So my holistic guy. Part of my, part of my UTI regimen that we're like testing out to see is he has me on like an oregano supplement and then like another cranberry supplement. And I'm like seeing if that like builds up my uterine line. I don't fucking know.

• 54:48Hannah Berner?

  How often do you take oregano to the face?

• 54:51Paige DeSorbo?

  So I take one a day, but they are so potent. So you, so you do have to like ask a professional. Because I think you can really fuck up your stomach if you take too much of it.

• 55:04Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I was scared. Also, you have to take it with like some juice. You have to do juice, oregano juice. Oh, and eat. There's all these rules, who knew? But yeah, I was, I've been into oregano. Do you think because we're Italian, it like?

• 55:17Paige DeSorbo?

  It feels good in our soul.

• 55:18Hannah Berner?

  Likes it? Yeah, like our body's like, mm, back to our people.

• 55:22Paige DeSorbo?

  They say it like helps clear out like bacteria and like.

• 55:25Hannah Berner?

  But this is the thing, Paige. You're sitting here. You're telling me all your holistic strategies. And they're not working, babe. You go, I've never felt worse. I'm on my deathbed, but I swear oregano shots are incredible.

• 55:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never felt worse, but truly, this is the first time I think I've ever realized that like men are so weak.

• 55:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I knew, but I, I needed like a really like a certain type of reminder around sickness, like true flu symptoms. And it's so interesting to listen to them speak about it. Cause I'm like, you're weak.

• 56:08Hannah Berner?

  I think about the men who are listening to this pod accidentally. It's in the background. And we'll finally get into a part that like, we're in a funny flow. The men are probably laughing. And then just when they think they're safe, we can always, we always get it back to the men somehow. Um, so just keep one eye open.

• 56:26Paige DeSorbo?

  There's a man somewhere in a car being like, their whole personality is just hating on men. So really they're obsessed with us. Shut up.

• 56:34Hannah Berner?

  Men will catch strays. They will catch trays, strays, trays, and they catch trays too. Um, Amanda Rodriguez sent us a giggler, DMs me a really good mental health moment that I think it's time for.

• 56:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 56:47Hannah Berner?

  Before you blackout.

• 56:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Before I take Sudafed to the face.

• 56:53Hannah Berner?

  She goes, I saw a post about what is the most unhinged way that you practice micro feminism in your life? And one of the comments was, anytime I'm being mean to myself, I remind myself that I'm being mean to a woman. And then I stop. It's a great mental health moment.

• 57:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that is so sweet.

• 57:11Hannah Berner?

  No, like whenever you're being mean to yourself, you're like, we support women. We support women in the arts. Are you not a woman in the art? Let's move on. Do you know I got an IV last weekend?

• 57:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you? For what?

• 57:23Hannah Berner?

  I got an IV because I was like really sick and dying with Ally.

• 57:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 57:27Hannah Berner?

  And Ally's just like you, where we get to the IV person and they're telling us all these add-ons. And I'm like, I'm not doing drugs. Give me the basics. I don't want LSD. I don't want to be spiraling.

• 57:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Ring it up.

• 57:42Hannah Berner?

  Literally. So Ally's sitting there. She's like, yeah, whatever. And the lady's like, it was after our show. So it was like 10 PM and she tells Ally like, do you want some Benadryl? And I'll just like put you to sleep. And Ally was like, yeah, I'll take some Benadryl. And they asked me and I was like, no, I don't need to be black.

• 57:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, I don't do methamphetamine.

• 58:03Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, I can't handle melatonin. I'm not taking Benadryl to the lung. Okay? So Ally's like, yeah, I'll take some fucking Benadryl. Five minutes in, she's looking at me. And she's like-

• 58:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm gonna pass out. I'm gonna faint.

• 58:18Hannah Berner?

  Hannah, well, I start laughing and go, last time I did this with Paige. Paige-

• 58:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Almost fainted.

• 58:24Hannah Berner?

  Thought she was dying and was fainting, cuz she got some extra shit.

• 58:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Remember I was like- Nurse put something in the bag, she's trying to kill us.

• 58:31Hannah Berner?

  Paige, Paige goes, "This would be the per-perfect way to murder. This is the perfect murder." I'm like, "The nurse is still in the room. The nurse is standing right here, she can hear you."

• 58:42Hannah Berner?

  And Ally is looking at me, she goes, "Can you tell I'm high? Can you tell I'm high?" She's like, "I'm, I just want you to know, I'm not freaking out, but I'm freaking out right now, I'm getting high." And I'm like, "I'm trying to have a nice night, and my friends always have to get fucked up off some IV." And Ally's like, no, and she looks at the lady and she's like, "Am I supposed to be feeling this fucking high from the Benadryl?" She's like, "Can you..." The lady starts panicking and like, looking at the vials to see if she put the right thing on, but she was like, "Yeah, it just, it comes harder cuz it's right into the bloodstream."

• 59:11Paige DeSorbo?

  And Ally's small.

• 59:13Hannah Berner?

  Oh, tiny, put it in your pocket. You didn't have an excuse, but, I'm just kidding.

• 59:25Hannah Berner?

  You're a Winkspan babe! You can handle-

• 59:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Your big ass feet that's the size of your forearm, you can handle it.

• 59:37Hannah Berner?

  Do you wanna know how humbled I was? I asked Ally for a belt. She's like, "Yeah, I have brown, I have black." I said, "Amazing." Couldn't get it around my waist. I said, "Ally."

• 59:51Paige DeSorbo?

  You were like, "Sorry, a belt for an adult." I don't-

• 59:56Hannah Berner?

  But she's small, but I never consider her like, like that tiny, but...

• 1:00:03Hannah Berner?

  Couldn't get it around, it was the most, I said, "Thank you, but no thank you."

• 1:00:06Paige DeSorbo?

  That is so you, you're like, "Hold on." The math actually is, this is the matrix, because if my waist and your waist, there is something, this isn't making sense.

• 1:00:17Hannah Berner?

  I looked at her and I said, "Is this..." "Is this..." I said, "Does this fit you?" And she's like, "Yeah, it's my mouth." And I said, "That's crazy cuz we look the same."

• 1:00:28Paige DeSorbo?

  You asking her if her belt fit her is so you.

• 1:00:32Hannah Berner?

  Okay, I thought belts had ranged though. Like, why do you have so many holes in it? But it was like, the end of the holes.

• 1:00:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Range for that size. She's like an extra small, small.

• 1:00:44Hannah Berner?

  No, guys, I'm all about body positivity. I've never felt fucking grosser in that moment. And I wasn't even bloated.

• 1:00:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't. She's also, Ally is also so tiny. She's way shorter than you.

• 1:00:54Hannah Berner?

  I know, you, I know.

• 1:00:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, you just called me fat, but I'll make you feel better.

• 1:01:00Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we're good. I'm dying. This might be the last time you fucking see me.

• 1:01:07Hannah Berner?

  Oh, God. Anything else?

• 1:01:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw an Instagram video of Derek Jeter the other day, so that brightened my day. And that's about it.

• 1:01:17Hannah Berner?

  Love of my life. And I do have to just say one thing, though, about men.

• 1:01:23Hannah Berner?

  Every man that everyone's like, and he's the good one, he's not. Like, I even, I recently saw like a list of people being like, be like these non-problematic male comedians. They listen, and I was like, nope, nope, nope, nope, and nope. So, anyway, remember all men are not good? So Derek Jeter, I don't know what you've done, but we still love you, but I just want to normalize. We're not like putting him on a pedestal.

• 1:01:49Paige DeSorbo?

  I just saw one clip, quick video of him.

• 1:01:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like I never see him on social media.

• 1:01:55Hannah Berner?

  Look, we had a complicated breakup. We had a complicated, you don't follow him?

• 1:01:58Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I do, but I feel like I never see his stuff, never pops up.

• 1:02:02Hannah Berner?

  It's always like him being a dad.

• 1:02:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it was him being a dad, and I was like, oh, my God, I feel like I never, I've never seen this in this context. And then I did have a thought about Tom Brady, but honestly, I digress. I digress.

• 1:02:15Hannah Berner?

  You don't want to get into it.

• 1:02:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't. I'm too sick to get into it.

• 1:02:17Hannah Berner?

  Like a positive thought?

• 1:02:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I can't get into it. I'm too sick. I just thought like, wow.

• 1:02:29Hannah Berner?

  I'm too sick for this.

• 1:02:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I just thought like, wow, Derek Jeter is the blueprint of feel like of like how an athlete should behave.

• 1:02:38Hannah Berner?

  He apparently gave gift baskets to women he'd hook up with. They'd leave with a signed ball.

• 1:02:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I then started to think about, um, like the Colton of it all.

• 1:02:47Hannah Berner?

  Oh, no.

• 1:02:51Hannah Berner?

  She goes, you know why I'm sick? Colton Underwood and his fucking.

• 1:02:56Paige DeSorbo?

  You've opened up a can of worms. If you really want me to say what I was thinking, I'm gonna give it to you. Here's what I was thinking. I was thinking, wow, Colton Underwood can get another really big job, like on a hit TV show. Then I was thinking, wow, actually, athletes can do like a lot of fucked up shit and then like continue to play.

• 1:03:16Hannah Berner?

  And they just get two games suspension.

• 1:03:18Paige DeSorbo?

  And I was like, you could.

• 1:03:19Hannah Berner?

  Two games suspension.

• 1:03:20Paige DeSorbo?

  You could literally beat your girlfriend.

• 1:03:22Hannah Berner?

  It's a vacation.

• 1:03:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Beat your girlfriend up in an elevator, in a hallway, in her own home. It doesn't matter. You can be suspended for two games. If you smoke weed, though, you could be suspended for like four.

• 1:03:34Hannah Berner?

  And this is a sports podcast. Oh, she's bringing out her special wipey. Ew, she's, okay.

• 1:03:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I had to spit.

• 1:03:42Hannah Berner?

  Turn off the YouTube. Turn off the YouTube. Turn it off. Blur that, Grace. That was, at least warn the viewers. That was crazy. That was crazy.

• 1:03:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you wanted me to go on a rant and this is what happens.

• 1:03:55Hannah Berner?

  I'm glad that it's flowing, though. We don't want it to get stuck.

• 1:03:57Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I think I took a shower and I like seamed. This is what I wanted. I I gua shod. I like did all this stuff for my.

• 1:04:05Hannah Berner?

  No, you look so sick but so glowy at the same time.

• 1:04:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Thank you, doll. I don't feel glowy, but thank you.

• 1:04:12Hannah Berner?

  No, you do. You do. Um.

• 1:04:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I have a hundred pages left in my book.

• 1:04:16Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my gosh. How long's that gonna take you?

• 1:04:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, we don't know.

• 1:04:20Hannah Berner?

  It's funny, books, I feel like they either like fly by or you're like, it's been three years.

• 1:04:27Hannah Berner?

  Like one paragraph.

• 1:04:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I have to go. I can't, I can't even laugh anymore.

• 1:04:31Hannah Berner?

  One paragraph. Continue. You guys, we have to go. We love you so much. Thank you for giggling. Um, and we'll talk to you later.

• 1:04:40Paige DeSorbo?

  See ya.

• 1:04:47Speaker 03

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• 1:05:20Speaker 04

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