Overcoming Loss Through Humor with Alexandra Madison and Jon Bouffard

Y’all, we all deal with grief in our own way—but could laughter really be the best medicine? Today, your favorite TikTok sketch comedy duo, Alexandra Madison and Jon Bouffard, open up about the heartbreaking loss of their child and how they navigated their grief through humor. They also spill the tea on some of the wildest advice they’ve been asked to give on their podcast “Give It To Me Straight”—including a mother-in-law out here poking holes in condoms—and break down why your sex life might just be the realest indicator of your relationship’s health. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Keke Palmer?

  Hey listeners, today's episode is one for the heart. I've got your favorite husband and wife duo Alexandra Madison and John Bouffard in the house, and let me tell you, their story is one of love, loss, and resilience. These two have been through it, but instead of letting grief tear them apart, they found a way to stay united and even bring humor into their healing. How do you laugh through your tears? How do you hold on to each other when life feels impossible? We're gonna talk through all of that, so grab your tissue, maybe your favorite feel-good snack, and let's get into it, because baby, this is Keke Palmer.

• 1:06Keke Palmer?

  I'm excited to talk to these two, Mom, because, you know, I love dark humor. You know me, you know your whole family, me, Larry, L'Oreal, Rennie, Tinker. We all love to get into it, even when there's dark times. It really pulls us through.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19Keke Palmer?

  So I'm excited to talk to this couple, because they've been through a lot. You know, they unfortunately lost a child.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  So sorry.

• 1:25Keke Palmer?

  Yeah, yeah, this past year, and it was tough, but the way that they dealt with it was very in the open, and humor was a big part of how they dealt with their grief. And a part of their, I think, probably their personality and just their kind of jovial state in general.

• 1:39Speaker 01

  Yeah. Humor is healing. It can be very healing, yeah.

• 1:43Keke Palmer?

  And so I really wanted to talk to you a little bit about that. Like, what role has humor played in your life? You know, because you're very funny, but you're also very funny in a crass way. Like, you just like tell it like it is, you know what I mean?

• 1:54Speaker 01

  Someone once said that I tell it like it is with religious overtones or...

• 2:02Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, I don't know, I'm just, I just think you have to find the humor in things that you just can't explain, you know what I mean? You know, you can sit there and cry about things, but sometimes you just have to just go, wow, that really was fucked up. Let me see, how did this happen? And you just kind of find the humor in it. I mean, your dad and I both have been able to find the humor, you know, in many different things that has happened to us. And, you know, those were some of the best times when we didn't have money or, you know, we were going to Little Caesar Pizza, or, you know what I mean? So, um...

• 2:42Keke Palmer?

  Yeah, I feel the same way. I feel like so much of my personality, you know, I think I often joke that everybody's personality is a defense mechanism, and I feel like so much of my silliness, my goofiness, the, you know, just kind of like my, just my attitude overall is a, is a survival. When I think about how sensitive I can be to life and, and how actually crazy life can actually be, the way that I deal with it is through humor. That's why I am that kind of person is because I feel like that's the best way to deal with life. Um, and some of the moments that you could think about your greatest grief, whether it was humor or not, how did you get through them? What's kind of been your main go-to?

• 3:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just know that losing my mother was traumatic, and I just remember being at the funeral. And we were at the funeral and we were at the grave site in particular, and we released the doves, you remember? And all I kept thinking was, when the doves shot up, they went into like a cross formation? Cause like they go up and then the other doves cross and we paid like maybe, I don't know, three hundred and fifty bucks for those doves to fly up and do what they did for like twenty seconds, and all I could think of was, my mother was dramatic like that. And she would have loved them damn doves!

• 3:58Keke Palmer?

  Oh my gosh!

• 3:59Speaker 01

  And then her first cousins, who she was always competing with, they were always in competition with each other, I was like, nah, bitches, we got doves!

• 4:10Keke Palmer?

  For the competition to still be going during the funeral is absolutely insane.

• 4:16Keke Palmer?

  Competing through death.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  And I know my mother would have loved it because that's just who she was. She was married that bitch, for real.

• 4:24Keke Palmer?

  And it's so funny, when you think about it too, I feel like culturally too, thinking about funerals, it always ends up being a gathering after.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 4:33Keke Palmer?

  I remember when I was a kid and we'd go down to the south, you know, somebody passed away, auntie or uncle or whoever it might have been. It always ended up turning into a family reunion. I feel like that is so interesting.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  That's the sad part.

• 4:46Keke Palmer?

  Yeah.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  Because that's how some families, they only get together for, you know, memorials or passings and things like that. But yeah, I mean, but that's what it's supposed to be, right? And that's what it's called. You're supposed to celebrate the home going. So, at least in our family, in our culture, that's what we do. We celebrate the person going home because we choose to believe they're going to a better place, right?

• 5:08Keke Palmer?

  That's right.

• 5:08Speaker 01

  And we the ones left here on earth to deal with.

• 5:11Keke Palmer?

  I mean, earth and anything, you're always gonna choose anything.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  Right.

• 5:16Keke Palmer?

  Because, yeah.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  Right.

• 5:17Keke Palmer?

  Um, what have you noticed about other people dealing with grief, right? Because everybody deals with it differently, like in your experiences, whether it be family or friends or even your children.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:27Keke Palmer?

  What has grief taught you about other people in close relations?

• 5:31Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. You know, I just think people handle grief differently. But in our family, we choose to handle it with laughter. My Larry, you know, and when they buried their mother, you know, a mother of nine sons, you know, they were laughing. They were hugging each other. They were proud of each other. They were like, she would have, you know, it wasn't sad. It was very honorable, but there wasn't no tears like that.

• 5:57Keke Palmer?

  I feel like it's so funny because it is like an unspoken language. I think... With it, when it comes to grief, how to help people deal with it is so different. And I feel like with our family, even if sometimes we don't necessarily say anything.

• 6:10Speaker 01

  Right.

• 6:11Keke Palmer?

  We, I think we've gotten better, right? Over the years have come, I think we, we, our awareness as a, as a family has been more like, hey, do you need anything? Is everything okay? But if I could think about it at its most premature state, even way back in, in Illinois, it was like, I'm gonna entertain you.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  Right.

• 6:28Keke Palmer?

  You know, uh, dad, I'ma cook for you.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  Right.

• 6:31Keke Palmer?

  You know, or let's make a joke, y'all wanna watch a movie? You know, there's always some level in which I think when it comes to our personal relationships, that we have to discover how this person best needs. And we come from a place of service, whether it's entertaining you, making you laugh, cooking you some food, putting on a movie.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  Exactly, like, we, remember we were at the, um, Christmas? We were all together for Christmas? And we watched the movie with Chris Rock. What is it?

• 6:53Keke Palmer?

  Oh my gosh, Death at a Funeral.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. That movie reminded me so much of my family and crazy things that happened. Like, when my father passed away, my older brother, he had, uh, got in front of the funeral, it's led to funeral. He had, he was, he was high off of something, I don't know what he was.

• 7:12Keke Palmer?

  Oh my god.

• 7:13Speaker 01

  And he jumped in front of it, so it reminded me of that one character who accidentally took the drugs and was out on the house naked. Okay, my brother, he jumped in front of the hearse and was started to lead the funeral, you know?

• 7:28Keke Palmer?

  Oh my, yeah, grief does make some crazy stuff.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  Make you do some crazy shit.

• 7:31Keke Palmer?

  I, yeah, I can't even imagine what I would do experiencing that.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  I've been at funerals when people threw themselves on the casket and.

• 7:38Keke Palmer?

  Oh my gosh.

• 7:39Speaker 01

  Was trying to get the casket open.

• 7:41Keke Palmer?

  What?

• 7:42Speaker 01

  I've seen that display.

• 7:43Keke Palmer?

  So what, what, what were they gonna do once it got open?

• 7:46Speaker 01

  I don't know what the hell I was gonna do, cause they had to get that damn thing open.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Hell to the no.

• 7:53Keke Palmer?

  Oh my gosh.

• 7:54Speaker 01

  No, I don't know, I've just seen all of that. I've seen, you know, they had to take people out and screaming and all this kinda stuff. And, uh, you know, but I've also been to funerals where they were playing the Temptations music. Where they were playing, you know, Gladys Knight and the Pips. And it was like a Motown revue, you know?

• 8:12Keke Palmer?

  Not Motown revue.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I've, I've been to many different, you know, types of funerals. I remember the height of the AIDS epidemic. You know, uh, one of my teachers passed away. He had died from AIDS and I remember in that friend row, it was they play opera. And then I just remember his, I guess it was his partner, I don't know. But I just he- he- he remember him screaming my teacher's name. His name was Chet. And I remember him going, "Oh, Chet, Chet." And the opera was going and he was screaming, "Chet." It was very macabre.

• 8:47Keke Palmer?

  I must say, that sounds macabre. That one took a dramatic turn. But Chet might have loved that.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  Chet would have loved it. He was dramatic like my mother.

• 8:55Keke Palmer?

  That's right. That's right. Now.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  They would have loved it. He would have loved it.

• 8:58Keke Palmer?

  Did you ever feel like, uh, in a moment, cause obviously Alex and, uh, John are married. With you and dad. I mean, those are very close. When you're married, it's a very close relationship. Your grief is his grief, his grief is your grief.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 9:11Keke Palmer?

  How has that brought y'all together or in times, maybe not?

• 9:17Speaker 01

  Oh, you know, it brings us together. Cause your father is a person of service. Meaning that he's always Johnny on the spot if you need anything. And anytime we've experienced grief, then he's always been a big support for me. You know, he's always been the person, okay, this, uh, let's do this. You know, he's always cooking. He's always volunteering to do something, to help, to do, do something. So no, I don't know what I could have done without him all these years in terms of just dealing with family stuff.

• 9:48Keke Palmer?

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Um, you know, he is very funny, as you know. And he always sees the humor and everything. Even when we're having a serious conversation, he's always the one dropping crazy jokes in the middle of the conversation. And I think that is how he deals with the stress.

• 10:07Keke Palmer?

  Yeah.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  I think he deals with stress with humor. And I think you and he are very similar in that way. But I think you genuinely are a entertainer. You really just like to see people smile. You like to see people, um, enlightened in some kind of way. You really do give yourself. In that regards and and that's something that I watch and it's very special. I wonder if you even know that that's, you know, what you're doing.

• 10:34Keke Palmer?

  Yeah, I mean, I love it. I love it for that reason because I feel like I don't know what else. I know that this, what I'm gonna say can sound sad, but it's not sad to me. I don't know what else I'm living for. I don't know how else. And that that's maybe just who I am and that's my makeup and that's what I was meant to do. But for me, performing, letting it out on stage, whether I'm crying or going to a deep place for a character or finding a humor in a hard situation or just in general making people laugh. However, I'm breaking my neck to get that emotion across. To me, that's what life is about and there's no better place to do that than on stage.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  You know, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I remember talking to a guy who rode motorcycles all across the country. And he was very sad because he was telling me he wasn't gonna be able to do it anymore. And I said, why? And he said he could no longer hold his motorcycle up. And I said, well, he said, well, you gotta have strength and he said, I'm getting older and I almost dropped the bike. And so I can't do it anymore. And um, and he just says that the freedom that he had riding that motorcycle, he didn't want to do anything else. So to some people, that might sound crazy.

• 11:41Keke Palmer?

  Right.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  But to him, that was his love. That was his passion.

• 11:44Keke Palmer?

  I think for me, so much of that, you know, I am a very serious person. Like inside, there's a very serious internal dialogue. And to me, life can be grieving. Like the experience of life is grieving and I think at a young age. I mean, I remember that time that y'all always talk about when I went to that cousin of yours funeral and I was five years old and I was screaming, crying. I didn't know that lady. You're saying, but I was screaming, crying over a lady that I didn't know.

• 12:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you saw all of us crying.

• 12:12Keke Palmer?

  Well, I saw that, how, how life can be.

• 12:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:16Keke Palmer?

  You know, I mean, I think, I think because of, I don't know why I was like that, but at a young age, I understood things so deeply and I just felt like this is so tough.

• 12:23Speaker 01

  Death is final, yeah.

• 12:24Keke Palmer?

  Death is final, but also like who you touch, family, friends, like. I think I just felt the weight of that so early on. And for me, the way that I, I think I internalize it or how I figured out how to deal with that was through the arts. Like I want to experience life through the fullest. I want to have, feel all the emotions and be engaged and also like, I don't even know how to explain it, but it just for me, that is, it is an escape. It is a freedom um, to explore those feelings.

• 12:52Speaker 01

  Right, now being in the public eye. As you are. And how do you feel about sharing traumatic situations? And do you think that the world needs to know every damn thing about what you go through?

• 13:08Keke Palmer?

  I don't want to waste people's time. So I think that if I do share something traumatic, I have to be sharing it because I think that it could help someone else. Like, there has to be a reason. It can't just be like doing it for sake, or because I want to explain. I don't feel the need to explain myself for things. Um, I'm very careful too of like what gets me attention. You know what I'm saying? I don't ever want to be somebody that is using my life, my personal life experiences, to receive attention for my work. Like, I feel like if I'm getting attention, I'm gonna be on a magazine, or somebody's gonna write about me. I would love for it to be about my art and my craft. And I say that because we live in a very tabloid era. You know what I'm saying?

• 13:50Keke Palmer?

  So that sometimes a tabloid thing is the best thing, is the most important thing. It's hard sometimes to get a write-up on, "They just did a fabulous job." So I try to resist being put in that space because I don't know that that's valuable to people.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  Right.

• 14:04Keke Palmer?

  Um, however, if there are things that happen that I have an opportunity to talk about, then I will. And I think I've also had the great opportunity to be able to do some of those things in my art. You know, whether it's a character or a role that's giving me, it's a vehicle that's giving me the opportunity to speak to something or a topic that I think is important, that may end up opening me up to share a traumatic experience, that's fine. Or if it's music, an album, a project, where I speak and I say how I feel or I think, and then I can discuss that further, then I'm fine with it. I just don't want to be somebody that is saying stuff just because. I want there to be a takeaway, and I want it to be a good takeaway. So that means I also have to get my full thoughts around it.

• 14:47Keke Palmer?

  You know, I mean, I've grown up in the public eye, and I've said a lot of different things that, once years went by, I said, "Oh, you know what? I was traumatized." So my experience or my thoughts on that was based in the fact that I hadn't even healed yet. Things like that. So I really try, and I'm not, I don't have regret for that, but what I'm just saying is, I take it seriously.

• 15:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:06Keke Palmer?

  So whatever I share, I need to make sure that I have a full thought on it, so that, because I don't want to hurt anybody. I don't want to lead anybody astray, or make things more muddled up, you know, if I don't have to.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I understand that, definitely.

• 15:28Keke Palmer?

  All right, y'all. Today's guests are just the cutest, okay? You probably know them from their hilarious sketches on Relationship Dynamics and the Amazing Advice Podcast, Give It To Me Straight, that they co-host together, Alexandra Madison and John Buhard. Welcome to the show. Now, did I mess up your last name? No, no, no.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  You actually did.

• 15:49Keke Palmer?

  Because it's so fancy.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  So fancy. Thank you.

• 15:52Speaker 03

  Thank you for having us.

• 15:54Keke Palmer?

  Oh, my gosh. First of all, we were talking, guys, for like, literally 15, 20 minutes before we started this podcast. I really, really live for them. They're just so cute and amazing.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 16:03Keke Palmer?

  And New Yorkers, period.

• 16:06Speaker 03

  Well, I feel like John, he's, I don't want to say wannabe, but you're new. Like, I truly feel like, unless you were born here.

• 16:12Speaker 02

  You're the real one.

• 16:13Keke Palmer?

  You give New York down.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  I'll take it.

• 16:15Keke Palmer?

  Yeah, he does.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  The mustache.

• 16:17Keke Palmer?

  So, I mean, how have you guys been? You went through a lot last year, you know, and so how you feeling coming into 2022? I mean, you went through a lot personally on top of society combined. We all, like, it was a lot, you know, all together. So how do you guys feel coming into 2025? What are the vibes?

• 16:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know, I would love to say, like, 2025, we could take it on, you know, bring it, but at the same time, I don't want to. I don't want to put that energy out there because 2025 will be like, hold my beer. So I'm just like, come as you are, and we'll just see.

• 16:45Keke Palmer?

  It's like those memes where they're like, God, I don't want to be one of your strongest shoulders.

• 16:48Speaker 03

  No. Enough character development from 2024, we're good.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  Just a better year. Let's just have a better year than 2024.

• 16:56Keke Palmer?

  Literally, anything is better than 2024. You guys have really built a brand on exploring relatable tension in relationships. And what's really amazing, I think, is your ability to find humor in some of these very uncomfortable things that people don't usually talk about, especially in romantic relationships. Well, why can't you guys make fun of something really uncomfortable and then finding humor in it? And I'm wondering if that kind of dissipates the uncomfortableness around it? For you.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  For us, I just, I mean, Alex comes up with all the skits. I'm like, just tell me, tell me what you want me to do. But I look at it like, it is like a therapy for us, doing these skits. Because if there is some sort of tension and we, and we do it together, I don't know. It's just how we hash things out a little bit, too.

• 17:40Speaker 03

  I, John is my muse. He does something and I'm just like, we have to, well, he doesn't mean to be, but yeah.

• 17:45Speaker 02

  No, definitely not.

• 17:46Speaker 03

  He is so entertaining on his own that I'll just observe him. And I'm like, this is, this is content gold right here. So I'll make a more exaggerated version in a skit. But I would say that, yeah, it's kind of therapeutic in a way that you're putting something that is relatable out there in a comedic way. So other people can feel connected to it and they feel seen.

• 18:07Keke Palmer?

  And I think it's really brave, honestly, and vulnerable, because you're talking about things that not only are relatable to all of us, but that are relatable to your personal relationship. So you're like centering your relationship in a way that I think does make other people feel easily to expose themselves, like, girl, yes, you know, or, oh, my gosh, my husband is same, or my wife's the same.

• 18:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:26Keke Palmer?

  You seem effortlessly able to find humor in things. Was that always kind of the vibe of your relationship? Or is that the, what took over in your content creation?

• 18:34Speaker 03

  I think from the beginning of our relationship, that's why we were so drawn to each other, was because we just had fun. Like, I tell people this all the time. I'm like, we were, and we weren't friends first, we hooked up early on.

• 18:45Keke Palmer?

  Period. I know that's right.

• 18:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, but we, we really developed a core friendship while we were dating.

• 18:52Keke Palmer?

  Yeah.

• 18:53Speaker 03

  And just, we enjoyed each other's company so much. Like, there was always, it was always just fun. We made each other laugh from the beginning. And I think that that was, one of the first things that obviously drew me to him was, he was like, you make me laugh. And I was like, okay.

• 19:04Keke Palmer?

  Yes! A funny girl's hard to resist.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  I don't think I'm funny at all. So that, I think that's what makes Alex think I'm funny.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  Is because you're so miserable sometimes.

• 19:16Speaker 03

  That it is, there's just comedy in that.

• 19:18Keke Palmer?

  It's always comedy in people being authentically themselves.

• 19:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:22Keke Palmer?

  That's the, that's the thing.

• 19:23Speaker 03

  You're just so honest and blunt.

• 19:24Speaker 02

  I can't be anything else, you know?

• 19:27Keke Palmer?

  Now, before you guys even started doing the content, how would you find, would you be finding the dark humor in your relationship in real time? Was it like just something that naturally would happen where after a big fight would blow up, you guys are like making a joke about it?

• 19:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't, I mean, if you want to answer.

• 19:41Speaker 02

  No, no, God.

• 19:41Speaker 03

  I was gonna say, we also can't actually be mad at each other for too long because we've always worked together. So before we did content, we had a business filming weddings. So we were wedding filmmakers. We also did like small business commercials.

• 19:54Keke Palmer?

  You guys are obsessed with each other. Oh, my gosh, working together from the beginning. It's the cutest thing ever.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  We've learned a lot.

• 20:00Speaker 03

  You have to be so good at communication. And so our arguments, we really couldn't stay mad at each other long. It would just, someone would break the ice so easy, you know, like if he'd be like, what, what, like, or just a hug, you know?

• 20:13Speaker 02

  We'll do like a five minute separation, come back, we'd do like a stupid look at each other.

• 20:16Speaker 03

  And then it just, it breaks it and.

• 20:19Keke Palmer?

  Now, you guys, so you said you started off kind of hooking up, was this while you were doing that wedding job or did the wedding job come after?

• 20:24Speaker 02

  She was working for a wedding company.

• 20:26Keke Palmer?

  Okay.

• 20:26Speaker 03

  I was working for a wedding company and then he was like, you're so talented behind the camera and editing. He was like, I will help you because I was like, I can't do it by myself. If, he really encouraged me to go off and start my own business and then came along with me. And then, yeah, over.

• 20:40Speaker 02

  Oh, I knew nothing about filming, about editing, holding a camera. Like she's had a camera in her hands since she was a kid.

• 20:46Keke Palmer?

  Oh, my gosh, she's the manifesting generator. You're the projector.

• 20:49Speaker 03

  100%.

• 20:50Keke Palmer?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  Is that, what is that?

• 20:52Keke Palmer?

  It's a winning combination.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  Oh, perfect. All right, nice.

• 20:56Keke Palmer?

  I love this. Now, I'm curious, when you guys are doing this content, does it always bring you closer together or does it sometimes stir some shit up?

• 21:04Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, no, yeah.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, no.

• 21:06Speaker 03

  Sometimes, yeah, we have to take a beat, but actually, one time, I always will think of this, we were doing a brand partnership for our company and it was in store. And I don't think we could have been more mad at each other. I don't even know what it was about, but we had to, we were live, having to shoot in store.

• 21:22Keke Palmer?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 21:23Speaker 03

  On this day, in this hour.

• 21:24Keke Palmer?

  Not other people there.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. And we were like. We have to fucking lock it up. I don't know, can I curse on here?

• 21:28Keke Palmer?

  Yeah, I curse on.

• 21:29Speaker 03

  We have to lock it up and get it together. So yeah, we do have to kind of push through sometimes. But again, at the end of the day, it's nothing really that serious.

• 21:36Keke Palmer?

  Yeah.

• 21:37Speaker 03

  You know, but yeah, we're normal. Like we banter and bicker with each other, but.

• 21:41Speaker 02

  Well, we're together 24/7.

• 21:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, we definitely take our me time though.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  We work from home, you know, we're shooting from home. Any work trip, we're together because we're both creators. So you really need to learn how to like work together for sure.

• 21:53Speaker 03

  But we take our space too.

• 21:55Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:55Keke Palmer?

  I love that. Now, just so you guys that maybe don't know their videos, I'll repeat again, like they do all these really personal videos about what's going on in their life. Like one of the recent ones you did was John being sick. And then you show like a fantasy of Alexandra pampering you and then you show how she really is when you're sick. You know, kind of standing away spraying disinfectant.

• 22:15Speaker 02

  Brutal.

• 22:16Keke Palmer?

  My mom did that to me during COVID and I cried. I stepped through the door and she sprayed me with Lysol. I was heartbroken. For some reason that truly devastated me.

• 22:24Speaker 03

  Because it's your mom.

• 22:25Keke Palmer?

  It's like, I'm like, you're frightening me.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  You're like, she's like, get away.

• 22:29Keke Palmer?

  Exactly. So is that kind of really what happens when you're sick? Is she really like, boy, bye?

• 22:35Speaker 02

  If I'm sick for longer than like five hours, she's like, that's enough.

• 22:39Speaker 03

  You're so.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  We're done.

• 22:40Speaker 03

  You're so dramatic.

• 22:41Keke Palmer?

  I live for we're done.

• 22:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, you're so dramatic though. I feel like the man flu is such a thing where it's like, I'm sorry, just again, women were great. We just deal with so much. I'm like, it is not that big of a deal. You act like you're dying.

• 22:54Speaker 02

  I didn't ask for any help. I was like, I'll just die on the couch.

• 22:57Keke Palmer?

  Because no one wants to hear you kind of like in the back being like, mm, moaning and groaning and coughing and clearing your throat.

• 23:04Speaker 03

  Shut it. You're fine.

• 23:06Keke Palmer?

  Now, do you guys ever make videos making fun of the way you treat each other and then end up treating each other better as a result? Like, oh, wait a minute, do you actually feel that way? Like, do you learn something about the perspective of that the other person has of you that you didn't otherwise realize?

• 23:19Speaker 02

  I'm never passive, like aggressive about anything. So like in the moment, I'm, I'm going to tell you and it's vice versa.

• 23:26Speaker 03

  If something is.

• 23:27Speaker 02

  I'm not creative enough to come up with a concept about how I'm feeling in the moment. I'm just going to tell you.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  I think in regards to our content, that those are more. Again, like comedy-based, flushed-out concepts. The podcast, though, I would say, is really where we see each other's different perspectives on things because of the questions that we get asked from other couples. And he might have a different view than I do. And I'm like, oh, maybe that's why you act this way. Or, you know, it helps us.

• 23:53Keke Palmer?

  You kind of learn about each other outside of just this is my partner type of vibe, and this is how I deal with this person. But this is actually what they think.

• 23:59Speaker 03

  Yep, yeah.

• 24:00Keke Palmer?

  That seems really exciting. I have a lot of questions on that. But I do want to also ask about something that is really important that you guys went through last year, 2024. I don't want to be dramatic about it, but I feel like there's no other way to be dramatic about you losing your child.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was June. We lost him in June. We announced our pregnancy in March.

• 24:17Keke Palmer?

  And then you ended up losing the baby?

• 24:19Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 24:20Keke Palmer?

  That's just terrible. But you guys talked about it with your audience and even found a way to make videos, made that Dinks video, which anybody who hasn't seen it, y'all need to really watch it because it was so... It wasn't like when I watched it, I wasn't immediately like, ha ha. But it made me like, damn, that's funny, but damn, that's real.

• 24:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:39Keke Palmer?

  Like, it was really meaningful in the way that I love comedy to be. Like, anybody that knows me, I feel like as an artist, comedy is one of the easiest ways to approach horrible situations.

• 24:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:52Keke Palmer?

  And I felt that that was so well done. So I want to start with, like I said, I apologize that you went through that. And then also, how did you get to the point of even wanting to make a video about something like that?

• 25:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I think for us, it was such a dark time that it felt like we truly were never going to come up for air. And when we did announce that we were pregnant, we did a dual-income, no-kids, a Dinks video, where we had... Because we were very much known on social media for being a dual-income, no-kid couple. Not that we ever said we were never going to have kids. We just...

• 25:27Keke Palmer?

  That was just the vibe.

• 25:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was just a vibe. So the video that we did was there was like this fake person, this receptionist in the dual income no kid office, and we were handing in our resignation. And she goes through all the reasons as to like why, you know, what we're gonna miss out on now that we're becoming parents and, you know, the things that we're gonna lose on dinks, whatever. And people loved it because it's very relatable again. And then, so when we lost our son, and I could finally come up for air to breathe again, because I was like, I'll never find joy, I'll never laugh, nothing will ever be funny. But then you do, you know? Yeah. Day by day, week by week, you're able to build yourself back up. And I brought this idea to John, and I was like, is this out of touch? And I'm like, I, I just feel like, and I don't wanna be like, you kind of get to use

• 26:12Speaker 03

  this card, though, once you've been through something traumatic. Yeah. Um, or I was like, you know what, but this is our trauma, and the way that I deal with things is through comedy. And I feel like if this is something that I'm experiencing, there has to be other people who experience this as well. And if it's a way for people to feel connected and seen, we might as well do it. But I was pooping my pants before I, I hit post, because I was so nervous that people would think this is, you know, out of touch, or... It was really, really smart, I felt. Like, when I saw it, I was like, damn, oh. Like, that's the best way that I can explain it. And to give your listeners, in case they haven't seen it, it's, I mean, you could go watch, but... Yeah, but please.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  It, um, we, we go back into the office, the dual income no kid office, and we ask for our resignation papers back. But we don't say anything, we just look pissed, we put out our hand, and she nervously... And John's like, fuck you. Yeah. She nervously gets the papers back together, hands it, and we're like, you know, we'll be back. But we leave, and, yeah, I think it, it's again... What were the comments on it? Was everybody positive? I'm sure everybody gets some trolls. Yeah, yeah, of course, yeah. Like, the 1% of the loudest people who are annoying. But no, the majority of people, just to your point, felt... Like it was a perfect display of the feeling of what it was in a comedic way. But like, and true, they were like, I don't know if I should laugh at this or not.

• 27:33Keke Palmer?

  Right, but then it's a little struggle.

• 27:35Speaker 03

  But it was our way also, because we are a comedy page, of kind of giving people permission to laugh with us. Because we're like, it felt so, I was like, how are we gonna come back to being this comedy page after going through something so dark and so traumatic? And I've never seen people turn it into something comedic, because it's not funny. But there is dark humor.

• 27:55Keke Palmer?

  And life is kind of a tragic comedy.

• 27:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:58Keke Palmer?

  Like I talk about, we live, we fall in love, everybody start dying.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 28:01Keke Palmer?

  You know what I'm saying? Sometimes you can be the last one left.

• 28:03Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah.

• 28:03Keke Palmer?

  Sometimes your kids go first. Like, it's like, there's so much terrible things that can go down, but then it's like so lovely. And then you're like, wait a minute, my life is over. So I do think, like, yeah, it is a bit tragic at times. How important for you, and I think maybe even in this time, did you realize comedy was a tool for you?

• 28:21Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. Well, if you're not laughing, you're crying. And I was like, I needed comedy to help pull me out, because...

• 28:28Speaker 02

  It was a very good outlet for us, for sure. I mean, and then we've done more than just that video. And I think the more we did it, the more it helped us, you know? And I was reluctant at first, I was like, I don't know, like, do you really wanna like air our shit out like that? And it did, it ended up helping us and like ripping the Band-Aid off, kind of, so.

• 28:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, and again, I think that that's just our art form. It's like, because we know that no matter what, there are gonna be those dark days. And so, why not try to bring light? The joke that we were having behind the scenes, we were like, I bet other people who are lost parents would enjoy this joke as well.

• 29:06Keke Palmer?

  Absolutely, absolutely.

• 29:16Keke Palmer?

  Now, you guys obviously have handled it all with such grace, but I imagine going through, I mean, having kids, losing kids, it can bring hostility in the relationship. How was it for you guys internally, dealing with that loss outside of, you know, the content and the catharsis of humor? What truly was helping you get through?

• 29:33Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  It was a learning curve. I mean, it was scary. I was scared, I was scared for her. I didn't know what to do. I mean, what am I gonna do? I'm just trying to be there to comfort her, you know? There was moments where I couldn't get her out of bed, I mean, like, months.

• 29:49Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 29:49Speaker 02

  And... To, you know, be a husband and feel like you were just not doing enough was really shitty. And then just we're really good at communicating. I mean, we've always been amazing at communicating. So we're able to like work through it, talk through it, so.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  It's hard in relationships, I think, too, because people have this idea that you need to be 50 50. But truly in a marriage or any relationship, it's not always going to be 50 50. You know, you both want to be able to give a hundred. But when shit hits the fan, sometimes I'm giving zero and he's giving a hundred. Or, you know, and as time has progressed, I went through a big grieving process in the beginning. And he, once he saw that I was doing better, he started to grieve more, like he gave himself permission to grieve. And so he was more at 20% and I'm operating at 80%. And so it's really just a balance. And I think when you're choosing a partner, you have to think, how is this person going to stand there and support me?

• 30:49Speaker 03

  When things go bad, because nobody is immune to tragedy happening to them. You know, it does not discriminate. Again, we were just talking about the fires and it's like you could give your thoughts and prayers to this person or that person and think, wow, like, I can't believe this happened to me and not to them. Someone else might have gone through something that you don't know about, or they haven't gone through it yet. And so I just think that, again, it's making sure that you're choosing someone who will show up for you and pick you up when you are at your lowest. Because you just never know when that will be.

• 31:20Keke Palmer?

  Everything you say right now is exactly why people need to watch Give It To Me Straight and listen, watch and listen to your podcast. Because you guys are actually giving advice to people about relationships. What inspired you to make the podcast?

• 31:33Speaker 03

  It was actually, do you want to go into what from the beginning?

• 31:37Speaker 02

  So long ago, I thought it was because we thought Trump was getting rid of TikTok back in the day.

• 31:43Speaker 03

  Back in 2020.

• 31:44Keke Palmer?

  Because that's been something on his mind, I remember that.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  Because we started on TikTok and we had, that's where we were growing. We didn't even have Instagram then. And then when he said he was going to get rid of it, we're like, oh no, we gotta, what are we gonna do?

• 31:55Keke Palmer?

  Time to repo.

• 31:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, so we were like, let's, you know, and people would write in or just DM us and be like, you know, asking us questions about relationships or just wanting our advice on things. So we're like, why not just do another relationship podcast?

• 32:09Keke Palmer?

  Yeah, I mean, hell. But also one that sounds more realistic. I love the sometimes it's zero and a hundred. And because I think that sometimes we hear. A lot of idealistic stuff about relationships. And growing up for me, I see my parents be equal. You know what I'm saying? They both put the same in when they could. And when they couldn't, this other person picked up. And I feel like we should hear and see a little bit more of that realism. Because everybody's not taking you to Bali on day two.

• 32:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:34Keke Palmer?

  You know, it's just not going to happen. Everybody's not rich.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 32:37Keke Palmer?

  You know, that's just not the reality of it.

• 32:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:39Keke Palmer?

  What are the moments, because you mentioned this before, that you find you have the most different perspective than each other?

• 32:46Speaker 03

  Hmm. That's a good question. I would probably say when we're talking on the podcast, because it's uninterrupted time, where we get these really interesting perspectives or questions from other couples. And I'm like, you really think that? Are you for real? Like, we'll sometimes have completely opposite opinions on how a situation should be handled.

• 33:06Keke Palmer?

  What's the craziest thing that someone asked you guys advice on?

• 33:09Speaker 02

  Crazy? The questions we get are absurd. And first off, most of the questions, we get a ton of questions. I don't know, people, everyone is the same. If you think, we're like, well, no one's unique. There's so, the amount of questions we just got about cheating.

• 33:24Keke Palmer?

  But like, what do they ask about cheating? Because I mean, it's like, it's happy that you cool with it or you...

• 33:28Speaker 03

  Right, exactly.

• 33:29Keke Palmer?

  You know, you're staying or you're leaving.

• 33:30Speaker 03

  Right, yeah.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  They're always like, I don't know what to do. I'm like, did you tell them? Did you fucking talk to the person?

• 33:35Speaker 03

  The majority of the issues all boil down to communication. But one that was crazy that we got was a mother-in-law poked holes in her son's condoms because she wanted grandbabies.

• 33:48Keke Palmer?

  That's absolutely disgusting. And you need, like, the triangulation must stop.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  Oh, my gosh.

• 33:53Keke Palmer?

  You need to stop triangulating with your son.

• 33:55Speaker 02

  You know how they found out?

• 33:56Keke Palmer?

  That's crazy.

• 33:57Speaker 02

  They found out at the, was it the baby shower?

• 33:59Speaker 03

  The baby shower. Or not the baby shower, at the, her first birthday party. The mother said, we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me. They cut her out.

• 34:07Keke Palmer?

  That's a crime, bitch.

• 34:08Speaker 03

  Right? No, I think that is.

• 34:10Keke Palmer?

  Like, that's fucking crime. Are you kidding? And her saying it openly, I would have called the police right there.

• 34:16Speaker 02

  They were going to be like, happy with her.

• 34:18Speaker 03

  But I don't know, sometimes we get questions. I'm like, it's not real. We're going to ask them. But I'm like, is that for real?

• 34:23Keke Palmer?

  Right, it's like, is this a Jerry moment?

• 34:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 34:26Keke Palmer?

  Um, do you ever get emails that are too weird? That you know, or difficult, I won't say weird, I don't wanna be judgmental, but that you're just like, I can't even say this, or I can't speak to this. Or do you kind of let everybody through?

• 34:38Speaker 03

  No, we don't let everybody through. Honestly, because there's, we get thousands. If they're not written well, they're hard to read, I'm like, I'm not editing this. If they're too long, I'm like, I'm not gonna do this.

• 34:48Speaker 02

  Ages long.

• 34:48Speaker 03

  Ages long.

• 34:49Keke Palmer?

  Yeah.

• 34:49Speaker 03

  Um, or just repetitive, like questions that we got a lot.

• 34:52Keke Palmer?

  What are your thoughts on cheating? Does that mean the relationship's over, or can it move forward?

• 34:57Speaker 03

  I think it depends on where you're at. What was the context of it? Like, is it emotional affair? Is it a physical affair? There's so much, there's so much context.

• 35:08Keke Palmer?

  I love the word affair. I don't like the experience of it.

• 35:10Speaker 03

  Right, exactly. But there's so much that, it's, it's just not as black and white.

• 35:16Speaker 02

  But it's, it's very subjective, because everyone's threshold's different.

• 35:20Speaker 03

  Because it really comes down to trust, too. Can you rebuild that trust? And if you can't, it's probably not gonna work, you know?

• 35:29Keke Palmer?

  So there is a way, but you gotta want the way.

• 35:32Speaker 03

  Maybe. I don't know that there's always a way. I don't know that there's always a way.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, I feel like our threshold's different. Like, if you were, you know, whatever crosses your line? Because then you're always, that's gonna be in the back of your head.

• 35:44Keke Palmer?

  Yeah, yeah, it is, it is. If you can't reach out.

• 35:47Speaker 02

  Too many fish in the sea, you know?

• 35:48Speaker 03

  It really would depend on the scenario. Like, in what, and again, is this a long-term thing? Was it like a one-night, oopsie? Again, none of them are acceptable. But it's just really, to each their own. Everyone has a different threshold of what they're willing to forgive.

• 36:06Keke Palmer?

  Which brings me to another one. I'm curious, you guys' thoughts about divorce, or like, really till death do us part?

• 36:12Speaker 03

  Fuck no. If it's toxic, get divorced. Oh, my God. People are together for the worst reasons. And I'm like, for what? Oh my gosh.

• 36:22Keke Palmer?

  How do you know when it's over? How do you know when it's? Because this, obviously, as you guys have said, relationships can be hard. You'll have hard times. When is it like, girl, or homeboy, stick it through? And when is it like, you need to run?

• 36:34Speaker 03

  You can sense a lot from your sex life, truly.

• 36:37Keke Palmer?

  Well, no, that's right.

• 36:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think that like,

• 36:39Keke Palmer?

  Because we're getting busy.

• 36:40Speaker 03

  One, yeah. And I think also like-

• 36:43Speaker 02

  That shifts the mood completely.

• 36:44Keke Palmer?

  That means intimacy is gone, I think.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  And like, also, if your woman is not interested to be intimate with you, it's probably because you're not showing up in a way that you need to-

• 36:55Keke Palmer?

  Let's go.

• 36:56Speaker 03

  In the relationship.

• 36:56Keke Palmer?

  Come on.

• 36:57Speaker 03

  The reason why I want to jump John's bones all the time-

• 37:00Keke Palmer?

  Period.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  Is because he shows up as the best partner for me. Like, we operate on the mindset of making each other's lives easier. And I think that-

• 37:09Keke Palmer?

  Thing of service.

• 37:10Speaker 03

  Yes, and I'm like, I never have to, if the garbage can is full, I don't look at it and say, well, that's John's job. I look at it and say, oh my gosh, I don't want John to have to do this, so I'll take it out. Just like, if I go over to the dishwasher, it's emptied. I'm like, because he didn't want me to do it. Like, you have to-

• 37:25Keke Palmer?

  I'm done with the gender roles, and I'm so happy you brought that up. That shit has got to go.

• 37:28Speaker 03

  No.

• 37:29Keke Palmer?

  Into the gutter.

• 37:30Speaker 03

  You have to work together as a team, and I think because-

• 37:32Speaker 02

  Your whole goal should be making your partner's life easier. So you both are trying to focus on that.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:38Keke Palmer?

  Yes, okay. I am in love with them. They mean the world to me. I want kids, they don't want kids. Do I gotta let them go?

• 37:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, there's some big, there's some big questions, like, if you can't agree on-

• 37:50Speaker 03

  I think all those little things, you'll end up being resentful over time. Why are you sacrificing who you truly are and what you want for someone who's not willing to meet you in the middle or compromise for you? You're only going to butt, that's just the first thing.

• 38:04Keke Palmer?

  And that word is so key to the compromise for you. Because I know my mom, my dad, when my mom and my dad first met, my dad was like, I want 10 kids. And my mom was like, I want zero. And she was like, but you know what? Let's meet in the middle. And then she realized- Being a mother was everything I ever wanted. But she wanted to compromise to begin with. Yeah. So it's not, you're not gonna get to that point.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  Got a hard no.

• 38:23Keke Palmer?

  Yeah, exactly. If it's a hard no, then it's like, it's a hard no. Yeah.

• 38:27Speaker 02

  Kiki, were you, uh, were you meeting these guys? Like, when you, are you like on Tinder? We met on Tinder.

• 38:32Keke Palmer?

  We did. Oh my gosh, so you know, it's so funny. I have done dating ads before. I love that you asked this. I did, you know, they always have these ones, Raya. I did Raya. I did, first of all, Raya is a networking service. Like, it's so bullshit. Right. Sorry to the bad brand. But, um, I did also Hinge.

• 38:48Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 38:49Keke Palmer?

  When I was in New York.

• 38:50Speaker 02

  Too creative. You gotta be witty. I'd be so fucked.

• 38:52Keke Palmer?

  Kiki's creative, though.

• 38:53Speaker 02

  Oh, you would be fine.

• 38:54Keke Palmer?

  But nobody really picked me. And I think, I don't know why, you know, I use my first name. You probably thought you were a spam account. That's bingo. I think a hundred percent, they must've thought I was fake. If I came across you, I'd be like, this is not real. You know, I'm trying to get my date on. Mostly, I meet people through mutual group. Because who says get your date on? I need to just go. I'm trying to get my date on. I'm in the early 2000s with that one.

• 39:15Keke Palmer?

  But yeah, I, I meet people usually with friends. Yeah. You know, at some type of party they have. And honestly, so rare these days. But it's amazing that you guys met on Tinder. My aunt and uncle, they've been married for over 30 years. I feel like the first Tinder was newspaper ads. And that's how they met. Yeah. They met in a newspaper ad. They said, I'm looking for love. She was looking for love. They met. You know, so I'm not mad at the social, digital, you know what I mean? If it works. Right. Well, guys, I've had a blast talking to you. I don't know if it was a vibe. I don't know if it was a blast.

• 39:44Speaker 02

  Vibe and a blast.

• 39:46Keke Palmer?

  A blast.

• 39:48Keke Palmer?

  I love it. You're so funny. And I wish that everybody can, like, guys, you gotta go listen to their podcast. Because literally, they're nothing but laughs. Just like on their social media. We have been cackling up in here. Thank you. Um, but before I let you guys go, I always play a game with my guests. So come on, you have to play this game. This one is called Here For It or Not, okay? I'm gonna throw out some relationship-themed topics. And all you have to do is tell me if you're here for it or not, okay? The concept of love languages.

• 40:17Speaker 03

  Here for it.

• 40:17Speaker 02

  I'm not.

• 40:18Keke Palmer?

  Yes, John, you are.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  I'm not.

• 40:20Keke Palmer?

  You say that, you are.

• 40:22Speaker 02

  Because we've talked about it so many times.

• 40:24Keke Palmer?

  So wait, why do you say you're not and why do you say he is?

• 40:25Speaker 03

  Because this man loves words of affirmation. He needs to be told that he is doing the best.

• 40:30Keke Palmer?

  I'm that too.

• 40:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, he needs to be told.

• 40:32Keke Palmer?

  I need the words. I don't care like what's happening. I need to hear that you love me so much.

• 40:36Speaker 03

  No, that is him. If I don't tell him, I love your mustache, your muscles are huge, you're the best, you're so funny.

• 40:42Speaker 02

  I only said one thing, just like go on off.

• 40:44Speaker 03

  Because you, that's how you like to be loved is words. You don't give.

• 40:48Keke Palmer?

  What do you think that, how you think she likes to be loved? Like, is she a physical touch? Is she acts of service?

• 40:53Speaker 02

  There's one physical touch that we go direct that she, that's what she likes. She doesn't like hugs.

• 40:58Speaker 03

  Oh, there's only one type of physical touch?

• 41:00Keke Palmer?

  Oh, I know.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  Again.

• 41:02Speaker 02

  It's exactly what, exactly what you're thinking.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  Your sex life is struggling.

• 41:06Keke Palmer?

  That's why you're so fit and bodies on point.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  It's because you're not helping your partner around the house.

• 41:08Speaker 02

  It's aggressive.

• 41:11Keke Palmer?

  Oh, my gosh, okay. Looking for explanations to relationship problems in astrology. You guys are both astrologers. Yeah, I could already tell you guys are not astrology folk.

• 41:20Speaker 03

  I went to this one birth chart reader in LA and I was sold for a minute. And I was like, I think that this is legit, John.

• 41:27Keke Palmer?

  What did they tell y'all?

• 41:28Speaker 03

  Um, I mean, I did like a one-on-one with her and I wish, I really just want to hear more about John.

• 41:34Keke Palmer?

  Oh, my gosh, you guys are so cute.

• 41:36Speaker 03

  I just want to hear like your birth chart.

• 41:38Keke Palmer?

  Just like, let me analyze, John.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  It would help me understand him more.

• 41:40Keke Palmer?

  Favorite pastime.

• 41:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:42Keke Palmer?

  Um, reality dating shows. You guys have got to love it, no?

• 41:46Speaker 03

  Oh, I love it. Do I think that it's you're actually on the refined love? No, it's for entertainment.

• 41:50Keke Palmer?

  Yeah, it's just like, nobody was on A and D M trying to be a Meg's next top model. We were trying to find a Meg's next top reality star. You know what I mean? It's always that case. Okay, going back to dating apps, if y'all were single again, you met on Tinder, right?

• 42:03Speaker 02

  Right.

• 42:04Keke Palmer?

  So what do y'all think? Y'all still like the dating app vibe? You think it's good?

• 42:07Speaker 02

  I have to. I have no, if I went up to someone and was like, hey, they'd be, get the fuck away from me.

• 42:13Keke Palmer?

  I have to. So that means you would text, what's his lines like?

• 42:18Speaker 02

  I can't spell.

• 42:18Keke Palmer?

  Just perfectly.

• 42:20Speaker 03

  No, and that's the difference too, which.

• 42:22Speaker 02

  It was brutal.

• 42:24Speaker 03

  I did not, I was like about to cancel this date because I was like, he's such a bad texter. And was so boring, but then in real life, that's why you have to meet people in real life too.

• 42:34Keke Palmer?

  So wait, guys, first date quickly, because that just excited me. You, you wanted to cancel because you're like, he's dry on text, yuck. You guys meet, you see the person, like what hap- what was the, like what happened?

• 42:43Speaker 02

  Well, first I slammed my car into the sidewalk and fucked up my rim. Then I got into the restaurant, she's not there.

• 42:51Keke Palmer?

  I love a girl that's lonely.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  Exactly, I'm sorry, I'm not gonna be there first.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  Then I hear her come through the door and she's loud. She's like, John, I'm on the second floor, she's yelling at me.

• 43:01Speaker 03

  He goes, the first thing he said to me, why are you yelling?

• 43:04Speaker 02

  Why are you yelling? I say that all the time, why are you yelling?

• 43:06Keke Palmer?

  You guys were immediately yourselves.

• 43:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, um, he's like, oh, we're just doing drinks. I was like, well, I'm hungry, so I ordered a pizza. And then we ate.

• 43:16Speaker 02

  Who orders a pizza on the first date, a full pie?

• 43:19Keke Palmer?

  Alex, no.

• 43:20Speaker 03

  Yeah. And now we're married. Like, it, it brought you true love.

• 43:25Keke Palmer?

  Can we just quickly take a moment to just talk about like that authenticity piece in relationships? I find that even in my own life, you put on, look, it's normal in the beginning, I can understand it. But when you really just, even on that first meeting, be your 100% self, it really helps. And I think it can be difficult and hard because you want people to like you and you don't want them to be turned off. But it's like, man, if I'm me, that'll help you, A, know that you can be you, and then B, we can see if we even really jive.

• 43:53Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:53Keke Palmer?

  You know?

• 43:54Speaker 03

  I think you just cut out.

• 43:56Speaker 02

  Just, the one thing you need to cut out, it's like, don't be that person that tells your life story in like five minutes.

• 44:01Keke Palmer?

  Yeah, you do need to have some coo.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  There's certain things.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  It's a mystery.

• 44:04Speaker 02

  Reel it back a little bit, you know?

• 44:06Speaker 03

  No, but I think that goes with anything in life, like even on social media. Why are you trying to be someone you're not? Like, let people unfollow you, you know? Don't be, don't be out there hurting people's feelings and being mean. But if you are who you are and you're not everyone's cup of tea, that's okay. It helps you find your community.

• 44:23Keke Palmer?

  Yeah, it's so, it's so much more comfortable. Okay. Couples sharing passwords to their phones and social medias.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  I'm for it. Yeah, we have each other's.

• 44:32Keke Palmer?

  Period.

• 44:32Speaker 02

  Well, we're also married. Like, once you're married, I, we just, everything.

• 44:36Keke Palmer?

  Well, like, cut the bullshit.

• 44:37Speaker 03

  I'm like, I have nothing to hide.

• 44:37Speaker 02

  It's so much easier, like, fifty-fifty, or like...

• 44:40Keke Palmer?

  My parents shared email. It's too much. And they've merged their names. Like, it's their name together. It's so bad. Like, my parents are, my, my parents are like, you guys, it's too much, but it's everything you need. It's everything you need. It's really, it's literally what they call relationship goals.

• 44:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh, I love it.

• 44:57Keke Palmer?

  Okay, last one. Make your partner, I feel like I know what you guys are gonna say this, but making your partner have a location sharing on their phone turned on all times.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:05Keke Palmer?

  I mean, you gotta know they got kidnapped.

• 45:06Speaker 03

  We do, yeah, we do. Well, oh, my gosh. Okay, sorry to, like, segue. I know I have a story real quick. We moved into our house in New York. I'm pregnant, high risk, so I'm emotional. John's like, mm, I'm gonna take this bike out for, like, a ride in the neighborhood. And I'm like, okay, I'm making dinner, be home in, like, forty minutes. I love to make dinner. When I was depressed, I did not make dinner at all.

• 45:25Keke Palmer?

  That's so cute.

• 45:26Speaker 03

  But John is out riding his bike. The sun is going down. I'm like, where the fuck is this man? So I'm like, I call him, his phone is at home. I'm, so I get in the car, it's pitch blackout. I'm driving through this new neighborhood.

• 45:38Keke Palmer?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 45:39Speaker 03

  He got lost.

• 45:40Speaker 02

  I got lost.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  He's in the driveway waiting, coming home. I'm sobbing, because I'm like, this man is dead. I was like, he just moved to this house, he got kidnapped. Yeah. And, um, he's laughing hysterical, because he's like, I just left my phone at home. I was like, you never do that.

• 45:52Speaker 02

  Which was not the move.

• 45:53Speaker 03

  How am I supposed to see where you are? And if you're dead in a ditch, keep your phone on you.

• 45:57Keke Palmer?

  Period. This ain't ghost.

• 45:58Speaker 03

  I'm not giving more.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  Now we know.

• 46:01Speaker 03

  Like, I'm gonna put an air tag on your bike.

• 46:02Keke Palmer?

  Guys, you are so delightful. I'm so happy that you came on the podcast, and I can't wait to get it to give it to me straight. Um, thank you again.

• 46:09Speaker 03

  Thank you so much for having us. Yay.

• 46:11Keke Palmer?

  So delightful.

• 46:15Keke Palmer?

  And that's a wrap, y'all. Can we just take a moment to appreciate Alexandra and John? I mean, the way they was keeping it real and loving and laughing, that's what it's all about. What I've learned from them is that life's gonna throw some hard stuff your way, but it's okay to sit with the pain. Just don't forget to let a little humor slip in, because sometimes laughter is the best kind of medicine. So take care of yourselves, hold on to your people close, and keep finding those moments of joy. Especially in 2025. I'll see you next time. You know it's your girl.

• 46:56Keke Palmer?

  Enjoy Baby This Is Keke Palmer on the Wondery app, wherever you get your podcasts, and now, on YouTube, where you can watch full episodes. Subscribe to the Wondery channel on YouTube and don't miss any episodes. You can listen to Baby This Is Keke Palmer early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

• 47:20Keke Palmer?

  Baby This Is Keke Palmer is hosted and executive produced by me, Keke Palmer. Lucas Segal is our post-producer. Music supervisor is Scott Valasquez. Our original theme song was written and performed by me, Keke Palmer. For Team Kiki, my producer is Sharon Palmer. For Wondery, our managing producer is Olivia Fonte. Our producer is Tristan McNeil. Senior producers are Lizzie Basset and Candace Manriquez-Brenn. Our executive producers are Date Easton and Marshall Louie.