John Crist!

Are You Garbage presents comedian and podcast host John Crist! We're talking growing up Christian, Gambling and family vacation! You know John Crist from stand up comedy, The Tonight Show w/ Jimmy Fallon, Net Positive Podcast, The Nateland Podcast, This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von, The Shawn Ryan Show, his comedy special "Emotional Support" and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: BetterHelp: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/GARBAGE Factor: Get started at https://factormeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Gang, do you have a garbage question that the boys have to hear? Do you like stand-up comedy? You like having a night out with the boys, having a couple of pops? Come see an Are You Garbage live show.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, we got a second show added in San Francisco, then Portland, Seattle, Brea, California, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts. Low ticket alert. Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

• 0:24H. Foley?

  Big one.

• 0:25Speaker 01

  At the Met, Rochester, New York, and Toronto. Get your tickets now at areyougarbage.com and we'll see you on the road.

• 0:31H. Foley?

  Back on the block.

• 0:32Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:51H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage.

• 0:57Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:57H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're to be classy.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02H. Foley?

  Just a big old piece of trash.

• 1:04Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 1:05H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new addition. She drank all the milk.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:11H. Foley?

  So if you're looking for a bowl of cereal.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  I'm screwed.

• 1:14H. Foley?

  You're gonna have to use coffee creamer.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:16H. Foley?

  Second time I told her, don't drink all the milk.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:18H. Foley?

  All right, fair enough. Seven hours down the drain. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:32Speaker 01

  Hey, everybody, thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on Spotify, baby. And those numbers are cooking.

• 1:41H. Foley?

  In the charts over there.

• 1:42Speaker 01

  I know. Then the best website of all time, my brain is mush. The best website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. Go over there, get all that bonus content, gang.

• 1:51H. Foley?

  And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a very funny, very successful stand-up comedian, podcaster, and author. And you might have seen him in Not Limited 2. You got Gotham Comedy Live, Fox and Friends, Nashville Squares, The Tonight Show as of recently. You can hear him every week on his amazing podcast, Net Positive. He has multiple stand-up specials out, including John Crist Would Like To Release A Statement, What Are We Doing?, and his brand-new special Emotional Support, which's already got 3 million views over there on YouTube. He's got his book Delete That, and he's gonna be kicking off a fall tour. August 31st in Las Vegas, Nevada, at the Encore Theater, The Jokes For Humans Tour.

• 2:34H. Foley?

  Do me a favor, give it up for Mr. John Crist.

• 2:37Speaker 03

  Oh, man.

• 2:38H. Foley?

  Look at you.

• 2:39Speaker 03

  That was the best intro I ever got.

• 2:40H. Foley?

  Thank you, buddy. And I did it with the ears going in and on the stage. Luke's throwing me curveballs over there.

• 2:46Speaker 01

  Luke, you're killing me over there. Luke's got a new setup, but he screwed us.

• 2:49H. Foley?

  You got John Crist in here.

• 2:50Speaker 03

  It's coming in and out. I got it, though.

• 2:51H. Foley?

  Look at that jacket. Look at that nice jacket he's got on.

• 2:53Speaker 03

  I got it.

• 2:54H. Foley?

  You're in here blowing it.

• 2:55Speaker 01

  Really showing your ass, Luke.

• 2:56H. Foley?

  Oh, look at you crawling in like a rat.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  He's under the table. This is an all-time flub by new guy Luke. That's actually might have fixed it there, big dog. That's a little crisp.

• 3:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:06H. Foley?

  Thank you, Lucas Patoukas.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  Appreciate you, bud.

• 3:08H. Foley?

  We gotta get you in all black, like a stagehand.

• 3:11Speaker 03

  It's gonna go back out again.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's fired. I don't know what you're talking about.

• 3:14H. Foley?

  John, thank you so much for coming in, buddy.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  And I apologize for Luke's behavior thus far.

• 3:19Speaker 03

  No, I'm honored to be here.

• 3:20H. Foley?

  Look at the doo. Look at the bitch. Keeps it tight.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  Good-looking kid.

• 3:24H. Foley?

  Look at you.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  Good-looking guy.

• 3:25H. Foley?

  34, 35?

• 3:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll take that 41.

• 3:28H. Foley?

  41, only. Are those veneers or are they yours?

• 3:32Speaker 03

  No, these are real.

• 3:33H. Foley?

  God damn it.

• 3:34Speaker 03

  This is a wild podcast.

• 3:38H. Foley?

  Got underwear you got on, huh?

• 3:39Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Let's get to it.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  I've never been called out so quick. We also did get pretty bogged down on how he looked right away.

• 3:49H. Foley?

  Hey, good-looking kid. What do you want from me? I've been out of the house in a couple of days. Buddy, give us the backstory. Give us the origin story.

• 3:56Speaker 03

  Oh, no, dude.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, hitting the southern boy, I believe.

• 3:58H. Foley?

  Is that right?

• 3:59Speaker 03

  Southern boy, yep. Uh, one of eight kids.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 4:04H. Foley?

  Wait, you are, or your parents are?

• 4:05Speaker 03

  I'm one of eight.

• 4:06Speaker 01

  That's old-school stuff.

• 4:07H. Foley?

  Holy hillbell. God damn it, one of eight.

• 4:10Speaker 03

  Uh, dad is a Pentecostal preacher.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  Really?

• 4:14Speaker 03

  I don't know what's funny about that, but...

• 4:16Speaker 01

  We're Catholics, aren't we?

• 4:17H. Foley?

  Beginning of a Stephen King novel. I like it.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  Uh, everybody homeschooled.

• 4:24H. Foley?

  That's what's funny about it.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  That's all, that's all the time we have.

• 4:26H. Foley?

  Wait a minute.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  We're good.

• 4:28H. Foley?

  Hold on a second.

• 4:29Speaker 03

  And, uh, okay.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, I.

• 4:31H. Foley?

  Where are you, where are you from exactly?

• 4:33Speaker 03

  Lilburn, Georgia.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Sounds like a rapper. Lilburn?

• 4:38H. Foley?

  He just got shot, didn't he?

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Shout out Lilburn. He's, he's, he's in with that Drake.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  It's not a good start.

• 4:44H. Foley?

  A little burn, Georgia?

• 4:46Speaker 01

  I think it will.

• 4:46H. Foley?

  Holy shit.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  How do you spell it? L I L?

• 4:48Speaker 03

  L I L B U R N. One word, though.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 4:51Speaker 03

  Yes, Lilburn.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  Apostrophe.

• 4:55H. Foley?

  What, what, what record label is he on?

• 4:57Speaker 03

  Lilburn.

• 4:59H. Foley?

  One of eight kids.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:00H. Foley?

  Your dad's a preacher.

• 5:01Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 5:02H. Foley?

  What'd your mom do?

• 5:04Speaker 03

  Um, stay at home mom. Eight?

• 5:06H. Foley?

  What kind of kid?

• 5:07Speaker 01

  I know, eight, that's a lot of daycare you're paying for.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  What do you, I think it's, well, so my, uh, so my, I wish any of these were made up, but my, my extended family is Amish.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  Really?

• 5:20H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 5:21Speaker 01

  Where, where, like, where Amish?

• 5:23Speaker 03

  Uh, so my parents, my grandparents split off from the Amish community and went to Menonite.

• 5:29H. Foley?

  Right.

• 5:30Speaker 03

  It's like.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. Amish light.

• 5:32Speaker 03

  But electricity.

• 5:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:33H. Foley?

  They can watch football.

• 5:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, but they still know, they don't believe in healthcare, they don't believe in war.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  I see them at the Wawa outside, like, in Lancaster or something.

• 5:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, Lancaster, Pennsylvania, that's where my parents are from.

• 5:43H. Foley?

  No shit.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  That's where we spend every Christmas.

• 5:45H. Foley?

  Really?

• 5:45Speaker 01

  We used to go and watch, watch your family at field trips. Really, we'd go on a bus and go, be like, "Look at these fucking haircuts these guys got."

• 5:52H. Foley?

  That explains the pies you brought, huh?

• 5:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, so they, they, my family, my parents grew up like that, then they became Menonite, and then my dad went to seminary to, and then he, if Amish, if Menonite broke off from Amish, Pentecostal kind of broke off from.

• 6:10Speaker 01

  From Menonite.

• 6:10Speaker 03

  Menonite, yeah.

• 6:11H. Foley?

  No shit.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 6:12H. Foley?

  Wait, so your parents were both Amish?

• 6:15Speaker 03

  Extended family, like grandparents. What does that mean?

• 6:17Speaker 01

  Grandparents.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  What does this mean? Stop him? He went like this.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  He's, this guy's, this guy's putting the whole system on trial over here. Came in with his Amish magic. And he's tricking us.

• 6:30H. Foley?

  Can you read my thoughts? Throw some Skittles in front of me, I just get distracted. Wait, your parents-

• 6:37Speaker 01

  I realized, wow, he's the only one to ever pick up on. I have an odd body language thing with you where I have to clear the air because I see you getting confused.

• 6:48H. Foley?

  Your grandparents were Amish. Grandparents were Amish. Your grandfather broke off.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:53H. Foley?

  So damn, they were, so they were in like the same town, or whatever.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Holy shit.

• 7:00Speaker 03

  He was a, ran a dairy.

• 7:03Speaker 01

  No way.

• 7:04Speaker 03

  Dairy farmer.

• 7:05Speaker 01

  That's crazy, man.

• 7:06H. Foley?

  Probably good milk.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  Great milk.

• 7:07H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  I thought he needs some. Okay.

• 7:11H. Foley?

  Wait a minute.

• 7:13H. Foley?

  Wait, so how would you, how would you guys go back and spend Christmas there? Wasn't, weren't they shunned?

• 7:18Speaker 03

  We still do. Alright, so, alright, so in the-

• 7:21Speaker 01

  You go to the Mennonite side, not the Amish.

• 7:22Speaker 03

  No, the Amish side. We go to the Amish side.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  But they're Mennonites now.

• 7:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  You're not hanging with the Amish, you're hanging with the Mennonites.

• 7:27Speaker 03

  No, we're hanging with the Amish.

• 7:28H. Foley?

  Dude, you must roll in like a dude from the future.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:31H. Foley?

  Blowing people's minds.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  They're like, what? Yeah, they don't know about the Tonight Show, but if they did-

• 7:36Speaker 01

  They'd be, they'd be impressed.

• 7:37H. Foley?

  Jimmy Fallon!

• 7:38Speaker 03

  They'd be impressed. Well, okay, so, if you leave, so the Mennonite church is, the Amish church is having problems now because people are finding out about stuff.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 7:48Speaker 03

  Like the internet. Like if it just, when you-

• 7:50Speaker 01

  Oh, they're fine, yeah, I gotcha.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Well, every cult, it's not a cult, I love the family I'm from, but every religious org has to have control of information.

• 7:59Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 7:59Speaker 03

  And once a kid goes, "Wait, what? What are they doing in Times Square? I'm out of here."

• 8:04Speaker 01

  I'm out of here.

• 8:04Speaker 03

  Everybody.

• 8:05H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  So, everybody, so you know what Rumspringer is?

• 8:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, what's the rate on that? Don't a lot of them, probably less and less are going now. The Temptations are greater.

• 8:13Speaker 03

  Everybody's, so at 18, you can go out, do whatever you want, for as long as you want, and then once you come back and join, you gotta be under the rules of the Amish, of the bishop. So a lot of people, what they're doing now is leaving and then hanging around the community and never joining.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  So they can have an iPhone, but they're-

• 8:34Speaker 01

  They're in the world a little bit.

• 8:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, but they're chill, but they still like to have the baked goods and they're still Christian, but they're like, you know, like vape.

• 8:43Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 8:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I shouldn't say that about, but they're like, "You exposed us on Ari's garbage."

• 8:47H. Foley?

  It's like, it's like when you-

• 8:48Speaker 01

  They'll never see this.

• 8:51Speaker 01

  I'm gonna top Jimmy Fallon.

• 8:57H. Foley?

  He's sending down Jimmy Fallon and Robert De Niro.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  I love the Amish.

• 9:03H. Foley?

  The best.

• 9:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos about Amish people recently. That's crazy. And also Lancaster, I mean, that's like.

• 9:09H. Foley?

  Man, they throw out.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  We're two dirtbags from the Philadelphia area. So Lancaster, that's like.

• 9:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  Crazy town.

• 9:15H. Foley?

  They throw out a buffet up there near Dutch Wonderland that'll blow your hair back.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  The world's largest buffet is out there.

• 9:20H. Foley?

  Woo!

• 9:21Speaker 03

  A lot of baked goods. Well, you know, the Mormons, they're the ones that don't do caffeine.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  Yes. Salt Lake City, you can't get a cup of coffee.

• 9:30Speaker 03

  Can't do caffeine. So, but we, I said, if, if, if the religion, because they updated, they're like, all right, we gotta include black people. Like back in the seventies, which is very like.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  There was no black Amish?

• 9:39Speaker 03

  No, this is Mormons.

• 9:41Speaker 01

  Okay. There was no black Mormons.

• 9:43Speaker 03

  Yeah. So they're like, no caffeine. You could tell it's kind of, the rules were kind of created on the go because it really should be no sugar.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 9:51Speaker 03

  Right?

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Sure. That makes sense.

• 9:53Speaker 03

  Because they were like, no caffeine. But back in the, remember the eighties, like caffeine was like, you have a Dr. Pepper for bed and you don't know what you're gonna dream about.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 10:01Speaker 03

  And now it should, they, if they're updating, the Mormons should be, because sugar, we grew up, sugar's great.

• 10:08Speaker 01

  Hey, look at us. Yeah.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  No one ever, no one, when I was growing up, no one ever had a problem. No one ever was like, watch the sugar.

• 10:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:16Speaker 03

  Never.

• 10:16Speaker 01

  No.

• 10:17Speaker 03

  We have pixie sticks, dude.

• 10:18Speaker 01

  I know. Shout out to them. We still got them here if you need any.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  We're not Amish.

• 10:23H. Foley?

  You let the black people in, you get rid of the sugar. You're trying to explain this to them? They're all just staring at you.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  All right. Wow.

• 10:32H. Foley?

  Yeah. Okay. So how are you able to go back?

• 10:37Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 10:37H. Foley?

  Because your grandparents were obviously in.

• 10:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:41H. Foley?

  In, in the church.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  My great grandmother was in Amish church.

• 10:43Speaker 01

  So they weren't shunned? That's not necessarily shunned? Or they weren't?

• 10:46Speaker 03

  No, they left, they left the Amish church.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  Okay. So there's, there's still an olive branch between them and the community.

• 10:52Speaker 03

  They still hang.

• 10:53Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:54H. Foley?

  Whose house do you stay at when you guys go back there for Christmas?

• 10:57Speaker 03

  I stay in a hotel. So there's a place called, this is gonna blow your mind, but there's a place out north of Sarasota. You look it up.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  Sarasota, New York?

• 11:06Speaker 03

  Sarasota, Florida.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 11:07Speaker 03

  It's called Pine Craft. It's like Amish, I don't know what, any way to describe it's Amish Las Vegas.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  I know, this is, this is my life, you guys. No, I'm just joking.

• 11:18Speaker 01

  This is crazy.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  So Amish, so doubt, so every, you have to join the Amish church.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 11:24Speaker 03

  Okay, so you're, you're, you pretty much report to your, you know, Christianity, you can kinda just be out here.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  You're hanging.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, there's no accountability.

• 11:31Speaker 01

  I'm in, I'm out, maybe, maybe not.

• 11:33Speaker 03

  Whose church do you go to? I watch online. There's not a lot of rules. The Amish communities are very close knit. So you are in charge of, of the pastor you report to. So the, the Florida bishop is kinda, it's like spring break bishop. He's kinda chill.

• 11:49H. Foley?

  Yeah, he's like a summer school teacher.

• 11:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they have bikes. They have no cars. They have bikes with electric motors though. I know.

• 11:59H. Foley?

  Wait, so that's where you go at Christmas? You don't go, you don't go to Lancaster?

• 12:02Speaker 03

  We go to Pine Craft. Lancaster, we used to go to for like my first 30 years of life. Now we, now we go to the spring break.

• 12:07H. Foley?

  And when you would go to Lancaster, where would you stay at? Like one of your cousin's house?

• 12:11Speaker 03

  Hotel.

• 12:12H. Foley?

  You'd still stay at a hotel? So you weren't staying in the house with no electricity?

• 12:15Speaker 03

  No, no, no, we don't go in that. No, we, well, my parents broke, my parents aren't with that.

• 12:20H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  We wouldn't, they wouldn't do that.

• 12:22H. Foley?

  Well, who do you go and visit up there?

• 12:24Speaker 03

  Just the, the community.

• 12:26H. Foley?

  So at some point-

• 12:27Speaker 03

  All the cousins, all the people that-

• 12:28H. Foley?

  Where are you doing that?

• 12:29Speaker 03

  Making leather belts and stuff like that.

• 12:31H. Foley?

  Where are you doing that? At like their house?

• 12:32Speaker 03

  They're all around the community. We go visit them.

• 12:35H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  See what they're up to.

• 12:36H. Foley?

  What's that like? What's an, what's an Amish Christmas? Probably pretty homie.

• 12:39Speaker 03

  They don't celebrate Christmas.

• 12:40H. Foley?

  No.

• 12:41Speaker 03

  No.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Devils, they don't have Christmas.

• 12:43H. Foley?

  Oh, there's no Christmas tree and like, you know, apple pies and-

• 12:47Speaker 03

  No, probably-

• 12:47H. Foley?

  Ham and all that stuff?

• 12:48Speaker 03

  Well-

• 12:49Speaker 01

  It's all food with you? They don't have sherbet or-

• 12:52Speaker 03

  Hey, hey, hey.

• 12:56H. Foley?

  So you just do that at that time? Do you guys celebrate Christmas?

• 12:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, we do. But my cousins don't.

• 13:01H. Foley?

  Your cuz, up there don't?

• 13:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. They, everybody kinda broke away and they decided what they, what they're gonna do.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  What they do and what they don't do.

• 13:08H. Foley?

  They don't do Halloween up in the Amish?

• 13:09Speaker 03

  No, we don't do Halloween.

• 13:11H. Foley?

  You don't do Halloween?

• 13:11Speaker 03

  My family don't do Halloween. Which I have a joke in my show. It's like, how could we leave the, believe in this god of the universe? It's almighty, all powerful. Then the six-year-old puts on an Elsa dress. He's like, nah, nothing I can do. We lost her.

• 13:23H. Foley?

  Give the kid a Snickers, will you?

• 13:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, we lost her.

• 13:25Speaker 01

  Holy shit. Wow.

• 13:26H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  This might be the first Amish bloodline, right? We have?

• 13:31Speaker 03

  It's a lot of pressure.

• 13:33H. Foley?

  An Italian guy once.

• 13:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:36H. Foley?

  Um, alright, so let's back this up.

• 13:39Speaker 01

  I'm baffled. Alright, so, oh, but you specifically grew up in Georgia, right?

• 13:46Speaker 03

  My dad moved to Georgia to start a, uh, in essence, it's called the Atlanta Vineyard, a Pentecostal church.

• 13:53H. Foley?

  Started his own church?

• 13:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:54H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 13:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:55H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  And eight kids, where do you fall in the eight kids?

• 13:58Speaker 03

  Third.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  Your third oldest?

• 14:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, third from the top.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  How many boys, how many girls?

• 14:03Speaker 03

  Uh, five boys, three girls.

• 14:06H. Foley?

  Five boys, three girls. Where'd your dad meet your mom?

• 14:08Speaker 03

  At, uh, uh, Mennonite College.

• 14:11H. Foley?

  Really?

• 14:11Speaker 03

  Goshen College.

• 14:12H. Foley?

  She was Mennonite too?

• 14:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:14Speaker 01

  Goshen, New York?

• 14:14Speaker 03

  Did, Goshen, Indiana.

• 14:16Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm missing what you're saying.

• 14:19Speaker 03

  What, Saras, there's a Sarasota, New York?

• 14:21Speaker 01

  Atlanta, Utah?

• 14:23Speaker 03

  I never heard of this place.

• 14:24H. Foley?

  There's a Saratoga, New York.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  I'm taking it a racetrack.

• 14:30Speaker 01

  These cans are all fucked up. Luke's got my cane.

• 14:33Speaker 03

  Sarah, say the last, I got it, I'll take it from here.

• 14:35H. Foley?

  The Mennonite Derby? Is that where they met?

• 14:37Speaker 01

  Hey, listen, you're Amish, you can't be judging me. Take that with a grain of salt or a bale of hay, whatever you guys are doing.

• 14:43H. Foley?

  Put on a Halloween mask and scare the shit out of you.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  I always got to.

• 14:46H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  They use that economy, the Amish guy.

• 14:48Speaker 03

  Alright, there's a big Amish community in Shipshewana, Indiana. That's the real name of the city. There's 650 people that live there. There's, there's a Blue Gate Theater. I, every year I go there, I sell 7,000 tickets.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  Really?

• 15:04Speaker 03

  I wish I could sell a ticket in New York City.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:08Speaker 03

  But Shipshewana.

• 15:09H. Foley?

  Wait, do you have a big Amish following?

• 15:12Speaker 03

  Like a ve- a very like conservative, like a Christian following.

• 15:15Speaker 01

  Amish adjacent, maybe.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, that they're kinda like, they, they're like, our, our buddy down the street has Netflix.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  That's kinda my...

• 15:23Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 15:23H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's awesome.

• 15:24Speaker 03

  We're not gonna, we still go to church, but like, have you heard this Cardi B?

• 15:27H. Foley?

  Sure, more modernized.

• 15:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I...

• 15:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, what's the times?

• 15:31H. Foley?

  Yeah, I like that. I'm more that.

• 15:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, cause my parents, we, uh, we were homeschooled, cause they didn't want us to learn about evolution.

• 15:38H. Foley?

  No kidding.

• 15:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  I mean, I, listen, I went to public school. I don't ever remember anybody. Do we really learn about evolution?

• 15:47H. Foley?

  Couple of weeks, I think.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  Really?

• 15:49H. Foley?

  I just remember the diagram of the

• 15:51Speaker 01

  With the toad?

• 15:51H. Foley?

  The monkey walking and then all of a sudden it was a dude.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  I know, I mean.

• 15:54H. Foley?

  That's enough, right?

• 15:56Speaker 01

  Enough to get ya. Alright, I'm with everybody.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Too much, dude, he's gone, we left him, yeah.

• 16:01H. Foley?

  So your mom did the teaching?

• 16:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:03H. Foley?

  Now how was that conducted? So, wait, what's the, what's the full span between the youngest and the oldest?

• 16:09Speaker 03

  Alright, so I'm 41, my oldest brother's 45, the youngest is probably 25. So, it was every two years for 16 years.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  So my mom was either pregnant or breastfeeding for 16 years.

• 16:22H. Foley?

  So how many kids are in your class, would you say, as you're coming up? At the most?

• 16:27Speaker 03

  I won.

• 16:28H. Foley?

  You know what I mean, like, how many kids was your mom?

• 16:30Speaker 01

  It's not a school.

• 16:31Speaker 03

  Oh, uh, my four brothers, I remember.

• 16:33H. Foley?

  So about four, about four of you.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  But they're different grades.

• 16:36H. Foley?

  Right.

• 16:36Speaker 03

  They still have, I think, but then my, your brother would write a message in like the, you know, chapter eight, and then two years later you'd get it.

• 16:42Speaker 01

  You'd get the book.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:44H. Foley?

  Were you at textbooks?

• 16:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're like Christian, again. It'd be like, if Jesus had five loaves and two fish, he gave three loaves away, how many, like, all the math was taught in the Bible.

• 16:55H. Foley?

  They always made those loaves of bread look so good. I don't know what it was.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  If the Jews kill your savior, how many?

• 17:01Speaker 03

  How many do you have left?

• 17:04H. Foley?

  Holy shit.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  For question one.

• 17:06H. Foley?

  Gang, this is an ad by BetterHelp. You know, we're big on the, uh, the mental health journey over here.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  Some of us are.

• 17:12H. Foley?

  Some of us are.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 17:13H. Foley?

  I'm not crazy. Not no more.

• 17:15Speaker 01

  Not with Better, not because you got better help.

• 17:17H. Foley?

  That's right, but you know what, there's a lot of stigmas involved with men taking their mental health seriously.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  Oh, is there, pitch man?

• 17:25H. Foley?

  Men today face immense pressure to perform, to provide, and keep it all together. I'm losing it! So it's no wonder that 6 million men in the United States suffer from depression every year, and it's often undiagnosed. If you've got some stuff going on, gang, do yourself a favor. Reach out to BetterHelp. You can do it from the privacy of your own home with a licensed therapist at a fraction of the cost.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  Yes. We've said it a million times, we're big proponents of talk therapy here. It's a great tool to use for a short term, for a long term, every week if you're just in a rough patch, just to get it out and get a little bit of perspective, add some light to it, shine the light, you know what I mean?

• 18:03H. Foley?

  Yep.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  Get rid of the fucking shadows, get out of Shadowville. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/garbage. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash garbage. Do it.

• 18:26H. Foley?

  Yeah. Okay, let's talk about Factor.

• 18:28Speaker 01

  Shout out to Factor.

• 18:29H. Foley?

  Summertime's here.

• 18:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:31H. Foley?

  We're both taking another run at our health. Losing weight, you're killing it.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 18:36H. Foley?

  All right, I'm taking steps.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 18:38H. Foley?

  You've got a busy summer coming up, you want nutritious, delicious meals that you don't have to think about, do yourself a favor, get over to Factor, they're absolutely fantastic.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  Yes. Guys, Factor meals arrives fresh and ready to eat, perfect for any active lifestyle over the summer and beyond. They have 45 weekly menu options you can pick from gourmet meals that fit your summer gains, your goals, choose from options like calorie smart, protein plus, keto and more. Listen, it has been a fantastic way to just go, I get a couple of them a week and I lean and I go, boom, shredded chicken, I'm coming home, I got my triggers, I'm all tired or whatever.

• 19:13H. Foley?

  We ain't selling you, these babies sell themselves.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  I'm gonna get pizza and I go, you know, don't stop and get pizza. I got a Factor at the house, it'll be ready in two minutes, I throw it on the pan, shoot, I got the shredded taco bowl in the gullet with a water, I'm out the door.

• 19:25H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 19:26Speaker 01

  It's fantastic, so here it is, get started, factormeals.com/garbage, 50 off, and use code garbage50off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. That's code garbage50off at factormeals.com/garbage50off for 50% off plus free shipping, factormeals.com/garbage50off, do it.

• 19:43H. Foley?

  So you did that all the way through high school?

• 19:46Speaker 03

  I went to, my mom, when she had the eighth kid, she kinda went into like a depressive, like, this is, which I would have had that after too, like, she was like, she went into postpartum and then we, they sent us to private school.

• 20:00H. Foley?

  Private school?

• 20:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  Private school, there's an asterisk on this private school. It was a sweater vest and-

• 20:05Speaker 03

  Oh, Christian school, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I should've just said Christians.

• 20:09H. Foley?

  How old were you when that happened?

• 20:10Speaker 03

  Eighth grade.

• 20:11H. Foley?

  Eighth grade, and so you got to do high school pretty regularly?

• 20:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, once a, once a, yeah, five days a week.

• 20:16H. Foley?

  Right.

• 20:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I went to high school.

• 20:19Speaker 01

  It was a regular experience, you're saying.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, it was still, you still had to tuck your shirt in, we still had to say the pledge of allegiance and memorize Bible scriptures and stuff like that.

• 20:27H. Foley?

  We did the pledge of allegiance, I think, right?

• 20:28Speaker 03

  Oh, that's everybody. Is that everybody? Yeah.

• 20:33Speaker 01

  Nah, I'm no commie, you know what I mean?

• 20:35Speaker 03

  We all did it.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  Red-blooded American here.

• 20:37H. Foley?

  I like a candy corn, I'm not the devil.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  Okay, and how big was this house?

• 20:42Speaker 03

  I feel like you guys are like investigators.

• 20:44Speaker 01

  We are. Well, listen, you're trash, you're trash, but there's no, this is mostly scientific at this point.

• 20:49Speaker 03

  Oh, the jury's not out anymore.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, they came back in three minutes.

• 20:52H. Foley?

  I'm teetering, to be honest with you.

• 20:55Speaker 03

  They're like, I'm trying to convince the last witness, but you're already-

• 20:58Speaker 01

  Dude, the way you look and dress, and I figure from, he's outside Vegas or something, he was born, you know what I mean? He grew up off the strip.

• 21:05Speaker 03

  That's worse.

• 21:06Speaker 01

  He's got a good, but you're, I mean, you're put, you got the good teeth and everything?

• 21:09Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. I don't know, I don't work that-

• 21:11H. Foley?

  He's trying to have milk.

• 21:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:14H. Foley?

  Kid's all vitamin D.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  Okay, alright, so how big was the house? How many bedrooms was this house?

• 21:19Speaker 03

  It was a, it was a refurbished-

• 21:22Speaker 01

  You don't refurbish a house, you refurbish a cellphone, not a house.

• 21:26Speaker 03

  It was a refurbished train station.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  What?

• 21:30H. Foley?

  Hey, you're looking at us like we're nuts.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  This guy's living in Port-au-Prince.

• 21:34H. Foley?

  Did the train still come?

• 21:36Speaker 03

  No, I mean, it's, it's right next to the train track, it doesn't stop there though anymore.

• 21:39Speaker 01

  You grew up next to the train tracks?

• 21:43Speaker 03

  I've never verbalized any of this out loud, but it does sound insane.

• 21:46Speaker 01

  That's all I would do. I would walk into every room and go, "I grew up next to the train track."

• 21:49Speaker 03

  I did, yeah.

• 21:50H. Foley?

  Would a train, a train would go by?

• 21:51Speaker 03

  At night, all the time.

• 21:53H. Foley?

  We're talking, we talking?

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Talking to trains, that's what we're talking about.

• 21:56Speaker 03

  I don't know what kind of trains there are.

• 21:57H. Foley?

  It's not a commuter, it was like, uh, like a coal car?

• 21:59Speaker 03

  Like a coal car, yeah, yeah.

• 22:02Speaker 01

  It's not people waiting outside the bedroom to catch the, to catch the 603 to work.

• 22:08H. Foley?

  Should be by in a minute.

• 22:10Speaker 01

  She's been running late all week.

• 22:12H. Foley?

  What else was in the neighborhood?

• 22:16Speaker 03

  There was this place, it was a candy store, a clock shop.

• 22:21Speaker 01

  That's like any town USA.

• 22:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, small, small town, you know.

• 22:24H. Foley?

  Your dad's church?

• 22:26Speaker 03

  No, we were in another city. We on the other, we weren't in the same city, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:31Speaker 01

  Alright, so, alright, hold on.

• 22:32H. Foley?

  Did your dad build this church?

• 22:34Speaker 03

  He started it, yeah. Like, build the building?

• 22:36H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 22:36Speaker 03

  No, he didn't, I think we bought, we, it was in a strip mall.

• 22:39Speaker 01

  What?

• 22:42Speaker 03

  You know churches now are like, oh, like, you know, those cool pastors, you ever seen those like cool Justin Bieber's pastors?

• 22:48Speaker 01

  Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:49Speaker 03

  They meet in like, in like, converted Home Depots and stuff.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  No, I know, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:52Speaker 03

  Churches aren't, like, old school churches aren't cool anymore.

• 22:54Speaker 01

  For sure, it's not like a, like an ornate Catholic.

• 22:56H. Foley?

  Would he, would your dad lean more Joel Olsteen than like, what I'm thinking of as like a pastor in like a small town church?

• 23:02Speaker 03

  No, he would, I mean, we would do a lot of, uh, this isn't gonna help me, my cause, but like, speaking in tongues, you know what that is? Like, if you pray for someone, they fall over, cause the Holy Spirit is...

• 23:14H. Foley?

  Did you ever fall over?

• 23:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, they put a blanket over you.

• 23:17H. Foley?

  No kidding.

• 23:18Speaker 01

  Man, I gotta go to church after this.

• 23:21H. Foley?

  Where were you baptized? Were you baptized in, in like a river or something like that?

• 23:23Speaker 03

  I was baptized, I was baptized at, well, we, once we grew out of the strip mall, we split a church, we rented a church from a Seventh Day Adventist, because if you don't know anything about them, they meet on Saturdays. They believe the Sabbath is Saturday.

• 23:38H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 23:39Speaker 01

  So you guys got Sunday?

• 23:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, so we're just like, well, we'll just take Sunday.

• 23:43Speaker 01

  You're in a church timeshare.

• 23:45H. Foley?

  Did you guys have baptism?

• 23:47Speaker 03

  That's where we had a baptism. I got baptized at Seventh Day Adventist Church.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  What was the body of water?

• 23:51Speaker 03

  Water?

• 23:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, but was it like a, like?

• 23:54Speaker 03

  It was like a-

• 23:55Speaker 01

  Was it a pool, a tub?

• 23:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was like a, it was like a pool up behind the stage and it's like elevated behind it, so.

• 24:00Speaker 01

  So it was in the church? It wasn't like, okay?

• 24:02Speaker 03

  Oh, not like in a river.

• 24:03Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 24:03H. Foley?

  When do you, when do you do that in your, in your religion? When do you get baptized? Not when you're a baby?

• 24:07Speaker 03

  No, I was nine.

• 24:09H. Foley?

  No kidding?

• 24:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:10H. Foley?

  Was that a powerful experience? I'd imagine it would have to be.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  Yep, so I, I remember-

• 24:15Speaker 01

  Cold.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  Uh, my dad, so he'd like, uh, you ever heard of like someone getting like, uh, saved or like converted?

• 24:23H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 24:23Speaker 03

  Alright, so he, he kind of draws out this like, uh, basically like he's like, uh, God is here. Humans are sinful, they're here, there's a, a, a chasm or a canyon in the middle. The cross of Jesus was like kind of, so you can, you can be with God. He kind of drew it out on the two by four while he was doing construction.

• 24:42Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 24:43Speaker 03

  I only say that because that's how I accepted Christ and I, they still have the two by four.

• 24:48Speaker 01

  But you saw, he explained it to you written on a two by four when he was doing construction and that's what saved you, that-

• 24:53Speaker 03

  I got seen that, I would like to do that.

• 24:56H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 24:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:57H. Foley?

  That's awesome. I feel like you feel that. I don't remember anything, I was a baby.

• 25:01Speaker 03

  But it was it a, what, what, oh, they just blessed you or something?

• 25:04H. Foley?

  Yeah, it was Catholic church.

• 25:05Speaker 03

  Yeah. It was like a, it was like a, you kind of can't be saved before the, well, everybody has the different age of accountability. Some say it's six or something like that, yeah.

• 25:13H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  So you can't make a decision on your, your, the eternal life at-

• 25:19Speaker 01

  Hey, you're telling me.

• 25:19H. Foley?

  Wait, so you're making, wait, so you make, you make the decision? You say, "I want to be saved"?

• 25:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, the Bible says you had to profess with your mouth and believe in your heart.

• 25:28H. Foley?

  Man, that's- Do you guys have a party afterwards? A little something?

• 25:32Speaker 03

  Well, we went to a Mexican restaurant.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  Really?

• 25:34Speaker 03

  Yeah. I have a joke in my show now, it's like-

• 25:38Speaker 01

  I can't get a ree, he's living in a train station, he's going to church at a strip mall and he's hanging out at a Mexican joint after his baptism.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  The cra- the craziest guy I've ever met, my-

• 25:47H. Foley?

  I just picture you sitting there soaking wet, eating chips and salsa.

• 26:00Speaker 01

  Their seats all wet?

• 26:01Speaker 03

  They have towels for you.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 26:03H. Foley?

  And what, so what did they, what did your dad move into after, how big's the congregation?

• 26:07Speaker 01

  We have to get back to the train station.

• 26:09H. Foley?

  I know.

• 26:10Speaker 01

  We, we, that's crazy.

• 26:11H. Foley?

  This is fast.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  Converted train station, which my parents bought for like $25,000, all cash.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  Like a, uh...

• 26:18H. Foley?

  It's probably beautiful, I would assume.

• 26:20Speaker 03

  Well, it's re, it's redone now. Yeah. It's in, yeah, Lilburn, Georgia. It's like the, the, kind of the city center, or whatever.

• 26:28Speaker 01

  The train station is?

• 26:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, people come on like tours of our house, like a Victorian, Victorian home tours.

• 26:33Speaker 01

  Can I find it?

• 26:34Speaker 03

  Probably.

• 26:35H. Foley?

  That's probably nice. Is your dad handy?

• 26:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, he builds everything.

• 26:39H. Foley?

  No shit?

• 26:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:40H. Foley?

  So what did you guys move into after the strip mall?

• 26:43Speaker 03

  Uh, then we went to a, it's now, it was in like a building, uh, a racquetball court.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  Wait, did you say a racquetball court?

• 26:54Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, racquetball court.

• 26:56Speaker 01

  I zoomed, I tuned out for a second. We're at a racquetball court and church now?

• 27:01Speaker 01

  There you go, baby. That's it.

• 27:04H. Foley?

  Wow, that's beautiful.

• 27:05Speaker 01

  Okay, that looks like a house. That's more, that's more house than I was, I was in.

• 27:09H. Foley?

  Did he do all that, the brickwork? Man, that's gorgeous.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  American flag, maybe? Is that good or bad? Does that go towards me?

• 27:15Speaker 01

  That's, that's a classy, beautiful home.

• 27:16Speaker 03

  Does that help me or no? American flag?

• 27:18H. Foley?

  Nah, yeah, that's good.

• 27:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, you gotta sign, that's cla, that's, that's very classy.

• 27:22H. Foley?

  That's a nice spot right there.

• 27:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:24H. Foley?

  And I'm sure the property value, that's going up.

• 27:26Speaker 03

  Way up.

• 27:26H. Foley?

  Look at it.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  Good for, okay, alright, so we got a little more.

• 27:29Speaker 03

  Alright, oh yeah, here we go, here we go. Yeah.

• 27:31H. Foley?

  So your dad did, your dad was doing okay?

• 27:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:34H. Foley?

  How big's the congregation now?

• 27:35Speaker 03

  Uh, well, he, he left to become the mayor of the city.

• 27:39H. Foley?

  Why didn't you fucking open the dad?

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Shoot, he's the mayor of Lilburn, Georgia.

• 27:43H. Foley?

  Are you kidding me?

• 27:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, he left to, yeah.

• 27:47H. Foley?

  Holy shit!

• 27:49Speaker 01

  I've said it a bunch about other guests, but I cannot get a read on this guy.

• 27:53H. Foley?

  Your dad's the mayor?

• 27:55Speaker 01

  He is all over the place.

• 27:55Speaker 03

  He left, the, being the preacher to become the mayor.

• 27:58H. Foley?

  Holy shit, the mayor!

• 28:01Speaker 03

  Of Lilburn, Georgia. Johnny Crist.

• 28:04H. Foley?

  That's on Johnny, vote for Johnny Crist.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:06Speaker 01

  How could you not?

• 28:07H. Foley?

  Man, are you crazy? He's got the railroad house.

• 28:11H. Foley?

  Plus eight goons running around.

• 28:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, all of varying degrees of, you know, success.

• 28:16Speaker 01

  What are some of the other professions that the brothers and sisters do?

• 28:20Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 28:21Speaker 01

  A school teacher in there?

• 28:22Speaker 03

  Well, we got a pastor.

• 28:24Speaker 01

  You had another pastor, okay.

• 28:26Speaker 03

  We got a guy, a guy that worked, two guys worked in finance.

• 28:30Speaker 01

  Okay, pretty good.

• 28:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, one's builds homes.

• 28:33H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 28:34Speaker 03

  And one works in real estate, and I'm a comedian.

• 28:36Speaker 01

  Look at that. That's a good, that's a good, that's a sharp, good family.

• 28:39Speaker 03

  If you, if you would ask my dad, he would say scoreboard. He's like, my kids are, look at them, they're all successful.

• 28:44Speaker 01

  Killing it.

• 28:45Speaker 03

  You know, yeah.

• 28:45H. Foley?

  He's the mayor.

• 28:46Speaker 01

  He's the mayor. That's coming from the mayor. That's a guy you can trust.

• 28:48Speaker 03

  Well, I went to rehab in 2009.

• 28:54H. Foley?

  Goddamn train running by the house every night. Who's not gonna want to have a drink?

• 28:58Speaker 01

  I'd be a little on edge too.

• 29:01H. Foley?

  I went to rehab.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  Other than that, yeah, the blemish on the record.

• 29:04H. Foley?

  Did you go to college?

• 29:06Speaker 03

  Uh, I went to Sanford University on a, um, walked onto the tennis team.

• 29:10H. Foley?

  Get the, had you ever played tennis before?

• 29:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I played all, yeah.

• 29:14H. Foley?

  I don't fucking know, he's Chris, man, they're good.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  He's sitting there, one day he picks it up, he goes, feel the power of Christ, and just walks out, starts acing it.

• 29:23Speaker 03

  I'm going to college with this. It's gonna take me everywhere I need to go.

• 29:26H. Foley?

  Where were you playing tennis?

• 29:27Speaker 03

  At the, the, the Lilburn City Park is right across the street from the house because of the train station. We, that, all they had was tennis courts, so we just played there.

• 29:35H. Foley?

  No kidding?

• 29:35Speaker 01

  You got good enough to get a, you walk off?

• 29:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, I didn't have any, I didn't have anything else to do, I just played all day.

• 29:41Speaker 01

  Was there a TV in the home?

• 29:43Speaker 03

  No.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  No TV?

• 29:44Speaker 03

  No TV, no.

• 29:45Speaker 01

  What was like the, what was the entertainment? Just books and stuff? Like, what was the, what was the treat?

• 29:49Speaker 03

  We would listen to the radio.

• 29:51Speaker 01

  Listen to the radio?

• 29:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, we listened to the Christian radio, 91.5.

• 29:56Speaker 01

  The Hawk?

• 29:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, W125. Uh, we would, so they would, like, uh, in 1991, the Braves were in the World Series, and my dad rented a TV.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  And we would watch the games, but, oh, when the, when the game was not on, we'd put a, my dad would put a black trash bag over that he didn't want.

• 30:19Speaker 01

  Is that signals? Is that radio signals? Is that just?

• 30:22Speaker 03

  Outside influences, you know, coming into the.

• 30:26Speaker 03

  We're not allowed to turn it on until the game.

• 30:28Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  It was very, like, in a lot of, a lot of, you see a lot of that today and like very, you know how everybody's like, the, the, the drag queens are gonna read and books to the kids, like, is that really happening? We're not sure, but they're terrified of it.

• 30:42Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 30:42Speaker 03

  The right is. Is that fair to say?

• 30:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, so your dad was more of like the idea of this happening.

• 30:47Speaker 03

  It's terrifying, yeah, where everybody were like, like, very, um, we, my mom, they decided, the, somebody told them the more Christians, the more kids you have, the more you could populate the earth with Christians.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, my mom's Irish Catholic, my mom's one of nine, it's the same.

• 31:04Speaker 03

  I like how everything else was objectionary and I say that and you're like, well, that lines up.

• 31:08Speaker 01

  These old, these old world people are crazy.

• 31:10Speaker 03

  That I buy.

• 31:11H. Foley?

  His family was worried of.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  Bad pullout game.

• 31:17H. Foley?

  Wait, so.

• 31:20H. Foley?

  Hi.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just, I need a minute. Let's all go, let's go catch a smoker.

• 31:24H. Foley?

  Hold on, your brothers are in finance, so you guys must have been good in school when you got to, did everybody eventually go to a regular high school?

• 31:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:31H. Foley?

  Okay. Did you do good in high school? Were you a good student?

• 31:35Speaker 03

  No.

• 31:36H. Foley?

  Really?

• 31:36Speaker 03

  My brothers were, but like, I think a lot of, I have like a, like a, whatever you call, not a, I had a learning disability. Where I went, because they were like, take the test, we don't know what grade this guy's in, we never, the system had never seen me.

• 31:49H. Foley?

  This guy's 38 years old.

• 31:50Speaker 01

  He's like Alf, they don't know what to do.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  So they took.

• 31:59Speaker 01

  They've never seen anything like him, they don't know what grade he's in, he's like the Kenbe Matumba, they don't know how old he is.

• 32:04Speaker 03

  Who is, remember, uh, yeah, so they go, they go, well, you have to take this test to see what grade you're gonna be in. So then I show up and then I'm making friends with these kids, yeah, I'm making friends with all these kids and like, sixth grade, I have this like, on the other wing, this class where you like, playing memory and like, saying shapes and like, triangles, I'm like, does anyone else have this? They're like, we never heard of that one.

• 32:29Speaker 01

  Is anybody else in shapes and sounds?

• 32:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like in the, it's in the, it's in like the elementary building and I've, that, I found out like, after I graduated that I had a learning disability that no one told me about and they're like, you just, they're just like, go, sixth period, just go up to Miss, uh, Nora Lahey and she's gonna teach you about triangles and like, if you rotate a triangle, when does it matter? Like, very.

• 32:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:51H. Foley?

  Did you ace that?

• 32:53Speaker 03

  I think they got my brain up to where it was supposed to be.

• 32:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, up to speed, yeah.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, nah, I was never ahead, but I was, I could survive.

• 32:58H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:59H. Foley?

  Um, growing up, you guys, I would assume, sit down, have dinner together.

• 33:05Speaker 03

  Every night.

• 33:06H. Foley?

  Your mom cooking?

• 33:07Speaker 03

  Every night.

• 33:07H. Foley?

  How was she in the kitchen?

• 33:09Speaker 03

  Aces, bro, lights out.

• 33:10Speaker 01

  What was the good, what was your favorite that she did?

• 33:12Speaker 03

  Lights out, and the roast beef was unbelievable.

• 33:14H. Foley?

  Would she make like biscuits and stuff like that?

• 33:16Speaker 03

  From, like dude, she had a, my dad got her a, a week grinder.

• 33:23H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 33:24Speaker 03

  To like, you know how like, somebody like makes a muffin, but like, yeah, you made it from the thing.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  It's in a box or whatever.

• 33:29Speaker 03

  What did the box make it from and what did they make it from? Like, starting with grain.

• 33:34H. Foley?

  Really?

• 33:35Speaker 03

  Can make bread.

• 33:37H. Foley?

  That's awesome. So it was homey. Loving home, would you say?

• 33:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, there wasn't, numbers wise, there wasn't enough love.

• 33:45H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 33:46Speaker 03

  Just time wise to go around for everybody, so that's probably why I do it.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  What a very diplomatic, very Mayoral way to say that, I would say.

• 33:53H. Foley?

  But everybody, everybody was on board, it was, it was, it was cozy, it was homey.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, and your brothers were like, kind of your best friend.

• 34:01H. Foley?

  Sure, you guys were out running around, playing tennis, football, all that kind of stuff.

• 34:05Speaker 03

  Football, not a lot.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  Does anybody not talk to each other?

• 34:07Speaker 03

  No, everybody's friends with each other, no. Yeah, and everybody's kind of different, we, I have a lot of jokes in my act about the family group text, because everybody's married to a regular person.

• 34:16Speaker 01

  Really?

• 34:16Speaker 03

  Or like a, an outsider, and we're not, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:20Speaker 01

  Call, he just calls outsiders.

• 34:21Speaker 03

  No, no, no.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  Like, I'm some sort of freak.

• 34:23H. Foley?

  I think the word you're looking for is heathens.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  I grew up in a normal house.

• 34:26Speaker 03

  Regular, a regular person, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:28H. Foley?

  Hell dwellers.

• 34:29Speaker 03

  So everybody, everybody, I think has had this, that you, that they go, and the, the.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  It's just shot.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  The in-laws are chatting, they're like, the Chris's.

• 34:39Speaker 01

  They're nuts, these guys.

• 34:40Speaker 03

  Are nuts.

• 34:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, have you guys, they're going, have you, it's the ones.

• 34:42H. Foley?

  Don't I have those? Muffins, didn't they shut the fuck up, huh?

• 34:45Speaker 01

  The one won't go near the microwave. It's gray. You're like, whatever.

• 34:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, there's a lot of, like, obviously, my parents are a lot of, eh, vaccines. Cause they don't, because the, um, Amish don't believe in healthcare. They're like, if, if God, it's God's will. You know, like, the...

• 35:00H. Foley?

  So what'd you do when you got sick as a kid? Wrote it out?

• 35:03Speaker 03

  Wrote it out.

• 35:04H. Foley?

  Damn.

• 35:04Speaker 03

  And my brother, we were playing, um, something in the park one time, and I kneed him in the temple, and he was down, laid down for hours.

• 35:12Speaker 01

  That'll take you the hours.

• 35:15Speaker 03

  Laid down, and we couldn't, and my mom was like, "Drink some Sprite."

• 35:18Speaker 01

  Get that sugar in you, boy.

• 35:20Speaker 03

  Yeah. And so for, it was probably five days, he literally couldn't get up. He, he couldn't get up. And finally, reluctantly, we laugh about it now, but they took him to the hospital, and they were like, "If you'd have come in here," another...

• 35:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, his brain's swelling or something.

• 35:33Speaker 03

  He was swelling with blood. His brain was, he has a giant scar all the way down here because...

• 35:38Speaker 01

  They'd open him up or whatever?

• 35:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, drain his, drain the blood from his head. Cause we're like, we don't, it's, God created, I'm, I'm not joking, God created... Like, there's a lot of Pentecostal churches that handle snakes, poisonous snakes. You know, people have done documentaries on them. They're like, "We believe that if God, if you get bitten..." I don't believe this.

• 35:58Speaker 01

  You don't have any snakes on you right now, dude.

• 35:59Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no. That it's God's will, you showing faith by handling these snake. I don't believe that.

• 36:07Speaker 01

  That's logical to me.

• 36:09H. Foley?

  If a snake bites you, that means you're a bad person?

• 36:11Speaker 03

  No, that means, and then, yeah, that was God's will.

• 36:13Speaker 01

  You're going, "I trust God not to hurt me."

• 36:15Speaker 03

  And I'm gonna go into, I'm going to a better place anyway. I, I'm not on board with that.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  That's law. I can draw that line.

• 36:21Speaker 03

  You know how the...

• 36:21H. Foley?

  I wouldn't pass the snake test, I don't think.

• 36:23Speaker 03

  You know how the...

• 36:24Speaker 01

  He wouldn't pass the triangle test.

• 36:27Speaker 01

  Bring it back.

• 36:29Speaker 03

  You know how the Mormons do, like, soaking and stuff like that? You ever heard of that?

• 36:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:32Speaker 03

  Okay, we don't...

• 36:33Speaker 01

  You know soaking?

• 36:33H. Foley?

  The sex thing?

• 36:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. Okay, weirdo. I don't know why you said it like that.

• 36:38H. Foley?

  Where you just put it in and sit there?

• 36:39Speaker 01

  Cause you're not allowed to, it's technically not sex.

• 36:41H. Foley?

  And then you get, you get somebody to sit up...

• 36:42Speaker 01

  Is it true they have someone to work your hips? Is that true, or is that a myth?

• 36:44Speaker 03

  Somebody under the bed.

• 36:46Speaker 01

  I hear that. They call it like a thrusters.

• 36:48Speaker 03

  Well, I say, I, I say in jest about other, uh, sex or denominations that are more extreme, but we're kind of... With the, you know what I'm saying, like, we don't do that, but virginity is very important.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  And then, so they were like, that's a loophole.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 37:04Speaker 03

  You know, does that make sense?

• 37:05Speaker 01

  I like loopholes.

• 37:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:07Speaker 01

  I'm all about that.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  So you can see, you're like, the snake handling, that doesn't really make any sense, but you're like, one or two before that is like,

• 37:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, where's your line?

• 37:15Speaker 03

  We believe that if, that God is, but then I believe, we're like, well, you should take some Tylenol if you're... But very, nobody would do like an antidepressant, or...

• 37:25H. Foley?

  And how are your parents as far as you expanding, like, you coming up with your own way to live? Like, you,

• 37:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:31H. Foley?

  Are they cool with that?

• 37:34Speaker 03

  Well, I started doing comedy for the first like 10 years in church.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  Gotcha. A lot of those, a lot of you southern guys do that.

• 37:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was like, I was like just doing the churches.

• 37:42Speaker 01

  Probably done it. By the way, the southern guys are killing it right now.

• 37:45Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, the southern guys are killing it, yeah.

• 37:47Speaker 01

  You guys are on one.

• 37:48Speaker 03

  Nate, Dusty's been through here.

• 37:49Speaker 01

  Never heard of them. Yeah!

• 37:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:51H. Foley?

  When's the first time you saw TV? Like, when's the last time you, so you grew up watching, watching like sitcoms or anything like that?

• 37:58Speaker 03

  Never. No, we didn't, like, anything like Rugrats, or that was all like,

• 38:01Speaker 01

  Shut up, Rugrats.

• 38:03Speaker 03

  Caillou, he was like, you know, mean to his parents.

• 38:06H. Foley?

  Yeah, I didn't even talk about that.

• 38:08Speaker 03

  All the, we, we saw like,

• 38:10H. Foley?

  Would you see this at your friend's house?

• 38:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, like a friend's, we would go over for dinner and they would be like, the Disney movies, I remember, like, seeing The Lion King and you're like, What?

• 38:19H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 38:20Speaker 03

  This is unreal.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  You're spitting at the TV. Were you, he's there with snakes. You're your friend.

• 38:27Speaker 03

  Nah, dude, yeah.

• 38:58Speaker 04

  Born from the intensity of a night in the eternal city. Introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin, and warm vanilla. Masculine leaning but unisex Womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's.com.

• 39:27Speaker 01

  So your friends were obviously, they wouldn't be like me. They were also still more religious and conservative.

• 39:32Speaker 03

  What are you?

• 39:33Speaker 01

  A fucking dirtbag. You know what I mean? Like you weren't coming over and we weren't stealing my dad's smokes or whatever.

• 39:38Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 39:39Speaker 01

  So like they were still more reserved, but they were just now...

• 39:41Speaker 03

  They were still Christian.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  They were still Christian based.

• 39:43Speaker 03

  But they maybe went to school. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, they had, you know, TVs.

• 39:49Speaker 01

  But yeah.

• 39:49Speaker 03

  But it was very limited.

• 39:50Speaker 01

  What they even that had.

• 39:51Speaker 03

  What, no, what we were allowed to, like, if the parents were eating dinner, what's going on in here? What movie?

• 39:59H. Foley?

  Your mom and dad would want to know.

• 40:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, everything. Because they want to kind of...

• 40:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, can you keep the reins? I get that, okay.

• 40:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:07H. Foley?

  When was the first time you saw a porno?

• 40:09Speaker 03

  Dude, I saw...

• 40:10Speaker 01

  Why did you whisper it?

• 40:12Speaker 03

  Yeah. I saw me and my brother were riding bikes at this place called The Mud Flats where like it was like a, we ride bikes down there all the time. And we rode, there was a ditch, I never forget this, and there was a Playboy open. And I never, I mean, I had to been later than other 10.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  And we, me and my brother Joe, we looked at it and we knew we shouldn't see that.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  Lord save me.

• 40:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:43H. Foley?

  We knew we were out.

• 40:45Speaker 03

  We knew, bro, and that...

• 40:46Speaker 01

  Talk about rum springer.

• 40:47Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, we knew. But then I'm like every other, I'm still a human, like I remember laying in bed that night and trying to figure out a situation where I could...

• 40:59H. Foley?

  Get back there and get your hands on it?

• 41:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:01Speaker 01

  Without telling, were you planning on telling your brother? Not to, no.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no. I gotta go, hey, I gotta go, like, try to organize a situation where you could...

• 41:10Speaker 01

  You're gonna go get there on your own?

• 41:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:12H. Foley?

  I left my gun back.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  I'm gonna go baptize myself.

• 41:17H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 41:18Speaker 01

  Huh.

• 41:18H. Foley?

  Man. College was somewhat normal?

• 41:21Speaker 01

  Sorry, one second. Okay, yeah, go. No college.

• 41:23H. Foley?

  College was... When do you start getting out into the world?

• 41:26Speaker 01

  Is that a religious college?

• 41:28Speaker 03

  Uh, it was Christian.

• 41:29Speaker 01

  Christian.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  Christian college where we had like, I mean, then we had Sanford University, but there was like a proxy on the, you couldn't just look up whatever you wanted on the internet. I mean, this is 2002, but they had filters on the internet.

• 41:44H. Foley?

  Damn.

• 41:44Speaker 03

  So you couldn't type in like boobs or something. They would be like nah, nah, and then somebody would, hey, you can't be doing that.

• 41:51H. Foley?

  No shit?

• 41:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, people get in trouble for that all the time.

• 41:53H. Foley?

  Holy cow, they know?

• 41:54Speaker 03

  So then, the internet was different back then, because there was like a pro, you had to enter this like secret website to get around the...

• 42:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:02H. Foley?

  My man, loopholes.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, but people are always...

• 42:05Speaker 01

  Johnny Loops are gonna start calling it.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 42:09H. Foley?

  Mudflaps and loopholes.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  Mudflaps.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  Mudflaps isn't a fucking stripper bar.

• 42:16Speaker 03

  Mudflaps, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Go down to Mudflaps.

• 42:19H. Foley?

  Ah, alright.

• 42:21Speaker 01

  Now, what's your relationship with medicine now? How do you feel about it?

• 42:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think if you're gonna, if you're gonna break your wrist and you're gonna put it in the sling, people's brains are, the chemicals aren't firing right. And then you're just like, let's give you some, so we can fire them right, and people are on their feet. I got no problem with an antidepressant.

• 42:40H. Foley?

  What'd you go to rehab for?

• 42:41Speaker 03

  Uh, alcohol.

• 42:42H. Foley?

  Okay, so you're off the booze now?

• 42:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, five years sober.

• 42:45Speaker 01

  Congratulations, man.

• 42:46Speaker 03

  Because of the Lord. Well, I always argue the Lord might have got me there, but he also got me out.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, what is that? I guess, what is that?

• 42:52Speaker 03

  It's a joke, but yeah.

• 42:54Speaker 01

  Where does, where does the logic fall on that of?

• 42:57Speaker 03

  Where did the, yeah.

• 42:58Speaker 01

  So like, is it that you didn't follow his plan and started drinking?

• 43:01Speaker 03

  Well, what happened was, so I started, I never touched alcohol till I was like 30.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  I never and and.

• 43:10Speaker 01

  I feel you gotta start younger. I started young and all my buddies that didn't do anything till later. They then go after.

• 43:17H. Foley?

  I started, I started young and I ended up in a bad spot.

• 43:21Speaker 01

  Buddy, you're still in a bad spot.

• 43:25Speaker 01

  We gotta save you some.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  He's like, I think there was a lot of, uh, in terms of sheltered, very sheltered. Don't, don't show them anything of the world. Don't, don't, but we're like, we're all, we're gonna, the, the flip side is like, we're gonna learn, we're gonna see, you're gonna figure out masturbation.

• 43:45Speaker 01

  Right.

• 43:46Speaker 03

  At some point, whether you tell us about it.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  I went to rehab for that.

• 43:50Speaker 03

  Or alcohol and then I, I started becoming like very popular in Christian circles.

• 43:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's how I remember getting, you know, exposed.

• 44:02Speaker 03

  And then I had to like, kind of, uh, it was so stressful and everybody knew me and then I started like having a kind of like a secret life. Cause I was so.

• 44:11Speaker 01

  You didn't want that stuff public.

• 44:13Speaker 03

  And then everybody, and then the shame of church, that's what we joke about. You go to church to try to get rid of the shame, but the, but the religion also gave you the shame.

• 44:21H. Foley?

  Causes you.

• 44:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a tricky.

• 44:23H. Foley?

  You go to church, you still go to church now?

• 44:25Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 44:25H. Foley?

  You're very connected?

• 44:26Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. Yep.

• 44:29H. Foley?

  Fascinating.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  Wild story.

• 44:31H. Foley?

  Man.

• 44:32Speaker 01

  Huh, what was the first job?

• 44:35Speaker 03

  Uh, Chick-fil-A.

• 44:36Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 44:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, so we weren't allowed, it's Christian.

• 44:39H. Foley?

  No, were you not allowed to work at like a pizza place or nothing like that?

• 44:41Speaker 03

  No, no, because dude, think about that. What you mean, dude? Think about going, think about your parents raising you and then you're just gonna go.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  To go work with you at a pizza shop.

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, these heathens out there, you don't know what they're.

• 44:53Speaker 01

  You'd be like, cigarettes are good, kid.

• 44:56H. Foley?

  Wait, but they figured Chick-fil-A was okay.

• 44:57Speaker 03

  I see Joe Pesci from Home Alone.

• 45:00H. Foley?

  Because they figured, he just saw that.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  This is unbelievable.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  I'm lost in New York.

• 45:07H. Foley?

  New movie, my cousin Benny.

• 45:10H. Foley?

  Wait, so they figured Chick-fil-A because it was Christian.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  It's Christian.

• 45:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's Christian. But think about if you like when we go to the, we go to the Amish community for Christmas. For fun, at night, okay, they, they play shuffleboard.

• 45:26Speaker 01

  With the stick?

• 45:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, and everybody kind of watches. That's like the, everybody gathers around then we.

• 45:31H. Foley?

  But they're not doing Christmas. You just go up there at that time of the year.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a holiday because the, the, um, the, um, harvest. The, the seasons are switching.

• 45:39Speaker 01

  Guys are on the almanac.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  Can't be held down to a, it's been a 25th.

• 45:45H. Foley?

  So they don't celebrate Christmas, but there is a holiday around that time of the year.

• 45:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, because everybody has been planted. And then if you're like, let's say you're, you're making things, you still have to, you're selling them to the people that they're off.

• 45:56H. Foley?

  Right.

• 45:56Speaker 03

  You know what I'm saying? So if you're a machinist, that you're like, well, we sell our carts to, and they're off for the holidays. So we, they do holiday, they do take time off.

• 46:05Speaker 01

  They deserve a time off, yeah.

• 46:07H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 46:07Speaker 03

  But, but in terms of religion, if you go, these people, what do, what does somebody in New York need to do to, to get a little dopamine rush? They need to drink, smoke, look up.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  Now we're talking.

• 46:21Speaker 03

  No, drink, smoke, get with some girls, get on social media, go to a rave and like, and the Amish people just to get the same high. Play shuffleboard. Aren't they winning?

• 46:33Speaker 01

  I, listen, yeah, I would argue it's like if you watch too much pornography, you then start chasing the dragon. You get like, well, I'm desensitized to. I mean, if an Amish guy came and lived, lived a day in the life of, you'd be fucking, he'd go nuts, you know what I mean?

• 46:48Speaker 03

  I would get quote, high.

• 46:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:50Speaker 03

  Now by after I would get some DoorDash and then gamble on the late coast, the late west coast NBA game. After my show, because I'm kind of.

• 47:02Speaker 01

  You're still chasing the high.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  I used to go chase like.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  The booze and stuff.

• 47:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I don't do that anymore.

• 47:07Speaker 01

  What was the drink of choice, if you don't mind me asking?

• 47:09Speaker 03

  Man, I would drink, uh, grapefruit deep Eddys.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  What the hell is a grapefruit deep Eddy?

• 47:14Speaker 03

  Is anything normal with you?

• 47:16Speaker 01

  It's what Moses drank.

• 47:19H. Foley?

  Grape juice in a desert?

• 47:21Speaker 01

  Deep Eddie?

• 47:22Speaker 03

  Deep Eddie's. You know what that is?

• 47:23Speaker 01

  No.

• 47:24H. Foley?

  We find that it's just 7-Up? Nothing on that?

• 47:28Speaker 01

  Oh, Deep Eddie is a brand?

• 47:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, Deep Eddie's vodka.

• 47:30H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 47:31Speaker 03

  Grapefruit vodka. But I would just like-

• 47:33Speaker 01

  Just straight?

• 47:34Speaker 03

  Yeah. I never understood like socially, I was like, this feels awesome to get drunk.

• 47:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's great.

• 47:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's awesome, dude.

• 47:42Speaker 03

  Don't have to sell us on that.

• 47:43H. Foley?

  Vodka grapefruit.

• 47:44Speaker 01

  Okay, so let's say, you know, if you don't mind me jumping in here a little bit, what uh, what would that look like? You'd do a show and then have it after? Did anybody in the green, were you hiding it in the green room?

• 47:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude, we went on this uh, we went on this-

• 47:56Speaker 01

  Who knew?

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Ah.

• 47:59H. Foley?

  Jesus.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  The Lord.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, there you go.

• 48:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, we went on this tour, this uh, arena, this Christian arena tour.

• 48:06Speaker 01

  You guys are killing it.

• 48:08Speaker 03

  Called, it's called a winter jam. So it was like, it was a bunch of bands, I was the comedian on it, and it was a dry tour. So you can't, because of the witness, you don't want the Christian, you don't want them to see you drinking, obviously.

• 48:20Speaker 01

  Of course, yeah.

• 48:20Speaker 03

  So, everyone would have to put it in like another, I mean, they're all, we're all in our adults.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  30s or whatever.

• 48:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then when somebody tells you you can't do something, you want to do it.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:32Speaker 03

  So it's all in like Gatorade, but, and then everybody, you've been in a, in a, on the tour bus, there's the bunks, so everybody's drinking alone.

• 48:41Speaker 01

  In like a 12-bunk box.

• 48:42Speaker 03

  Which is way worse, which, that's how you become an alcoholic.

• 48:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:46Speaker 03

  Cause you can't drink socially, so everybody does it in private.

• 48:49Speaker 01

  Really?

• 48:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:51Speaker 01

  Wow, man.

• 48:51H. Foley?

  It's wild.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  What a wild story.

• 48:54Speaker 03

  But it, but alcohol didn't really like, cause I, I came across it later.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  What was the first time?

• 49:00Speaker 03

  Man, the first time I ever drank, I was at this Christian uh, camp.

• 49:05H. Foley?

  Was it a vodka grapefruit?

• 49:07Speaker 03

  No, it was a beer.

• 49:08H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 49:08Speaker 03

  And they to, and I was 20, late 20, they told me we couldn't drink, and I was like, no, I'm drinking. Cause something told me I couldn't, which is, this makes no sense.

• 49:17H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 49:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I'm like, I'm getting around the rules.

• 49:20H. Foley?

  Would your parents, would your dad have wine or anything?

• 49:22Speaker 03

  No, dude. My parents-

• 49:24H. Foley?

  I didn't know- At the

• 49:27Speaker 01

  Not dude, they're not the

• 49:28H. Foley?

  The blood of Christ.

• 49:29Speaker 01

  They're not Guidos.

• 49:30Speaker 03

  That's

• 49:32Speaker 01

  They're not Guidos out in Sheep's Head Bay.

• 49:35Speaker 03

  But my parents went to, they, uh, somebody invited them over for dinner and they had pasta sauce cooked in wine and they went home. They said, we're not, we're not doing that.

• 49:43Speaker 01

  Guidos.

• 49:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:45H. Foley?

  Can't have Penney all vodka?

• 49:46Speaker 03

  No.

• 49:48Speaker 01

  That's nuts.

• 49:48Speaker 03

  But there are a lot of people that are, are, are of the same denomination of Christianity that drink.

• 49:53H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 49:54Speaker 03

  So

• 49:54Speaker 01

  And so it's where you draw your line, or you know, whatever. Yeah.

• 49:57Speaker 03

  And I, and I, it's hard to come down on anybody, like all these, every church is like, this is what we do.

• 50:02H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 50:03Speaker 03

  And then you're like, dude, like my parents didn't really believe in like, you know, birth control, or they're just like, God is gonna open and close the womb as he sees fit.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  Hmm. Man. You're, you're interesting.

• 50:17H. Foley?

  But your parents are okay with how you live your life?

• 50:21H. Foley?

  To a degree.

• 50:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, they think, they, well, they're still kinda, look at the neighbor. They were still, have like, you know, they,

• 50:30Speaker 03

  they would still talk like, yeah, they're like, uh, still gossip about other people. So I kinda just saying these things out loud is like, dude, they think it's awesome.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  That makes sense.

• 50:40Speaker 03

  But it's all, I wouldn't, I never like would cuss or anything.

• 50:43H. Foley?

  In front of your parents, gotcha.

• 50:44Speaker 03

  No, in my show or anything.

• 50:45H. Foley?

  Oh, gotcha.

• 50:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, southern guys play it straight. They really do.

• 50:49H. Foley?

  No crystal light growing up?

• 50:51Speaker 03

  Who are all these other southern guys?

• 50:52Speaker 01

  I don't know, you, Nate.

• 50:53Speaker 03

  Dusty.

• 50:54Speaker 01

  Dusty.

• 50:54H. Foley?

  What were you drinking at dinner?

• 50:55Speaker 01

  That's the three wise men.

• 50:56Speaker 03

  Oh, uh, sweet tea.

• 50:58H. Foley?

  Sweet?

• 50:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, because tea, because the sugar was

• 51:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:01Speaker 03

  All systems go.

• 51:02H. Foley?

  No, any soda?

• 51:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 51:04H. Foley?

  You'd love to have soda?

• 51:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:06Speaker 01

  That's a spray for the headaches.

• 51:07Speaker 03

  Later.

• 51:08Speaker 01

  For the brain contusion.

• 51:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:10H. Foley?

  Would your mom ever make Italian food? Like, would you have spaghetti and meatballs?

• 51:13Speaker 03

  Mm, spaghetti.

• 51:14H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 51:15Speaker 03

  Spaghetti. Oh, yeah.

• 51:17H. Foley?

  Would you guys go out to eat as a kid?

• 51:20Speaker 03

  Well, we, we, you gotta think about everything's 10x.

• 51:24H. Foley?

  Right.

• 51:25Speaker 03

  So we would get a, we would go to Taco Bell and after church and, you know, I never forget this, we would always, we would go Taco Bell, Taco Bell. Beg for it, beg for it, but we could never go out to eat, cause everything's, it's, it's a lot of money for 10 people.

• 51:39H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, so we would get, he would get a, uh, it was like a pyramid of, of soft tacos.

• 51:43H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 51:44Speaker 03

  Probably 30 and then, uh, one drink.

• 51:48H. Foley?

  One drink.

• 51:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, just then whoever drank the last one, go fill it back up.

• 51:52H. Foley?

  Oh, you don't share it?

• 51:53Speaker 03

  No, no, everybody shares it.

• 51:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  And then you just, it's free refills.

• 51:58H. Foley?

  Suckers.

• 51:59Speaker 03

  I don't think that's.

• 51:59H. Foley?

  Loophole.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  Johnny Loops.

• 52:03H. Foley?

  What was the family car?

• 52:05Speaker 03

  A van, like an eighteen, fifteen passenger van.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  Like a church van, like one of the big.

• 52:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, church van, and we'd all ride in that, yeah. And we'd all dress alike.

• 52:11H. Foley?

  No, you wouldn't.

• 52:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, we'd all dress the exact same.

• 52:14Speaker 01

  What'd that look like?

• 52:16Speaker 03

  Like everybody was wearing like a matching outfit.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  Like every day?

• 52:20Speaker 03

  When we went out.

• 52:22Speaker 01

  You went out, everybody put their white thing.

• 52:23H. Foley?

  Your mom and dad too?

• 52:25Speaker 03

  No, they were, all the kids were matching in like, you know, overalls or something like that.

• 52:29H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 52:30Speaker 03

  I'm just saying these things out loud for the first time and it sounds insane.

• 52:33Speaker 01

  That's a lot of overalls.

• 52:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:35H. Foley?

  Hammy, a lot of hammy downs, I would assume.

• 52:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, I didn't have my own, yeah, you just give it to the next kid. Yeah, very, a lot of gender neutral outfits.

• 52:41H. Foley?

  Your mom was crushing all that laundry?

• 52:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, we had a, like, once the, um, once she went into depression, we had a laundry lady.

• 52:49Speaker 01

  Did I just come into laundry?

• 52:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, just laundry.

• 52:51Speaker 01

  Imagine that.

• 52:52Speaker 03

  Brenda.

• 52:53H. Foley?

  Brenda. Was she in the church too?

• 52:56Speaker 03

  No, she was on the other, she was a.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  Yikes, outsider.

• 52:59Speaker 03

  They weren't allowed to talk to her.

• 53:00Speaker 01

  Uh, and you.

• 53:01H. Foley?

  You weren't allowed to talk to her?

• 53:02Speaker 03

  Well, they, she was kind of a loose cannon.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  I'd be too. That's a lot of socks.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  I'd be drinking on the job, a little, a little Deep Eddy vodka.

• 53:14H. Foley?

  Deep Eddy vodka.

• 53:15Speaker 03

  Deep Eddy, bro. I can't believe I just said that.

• 53:18H. Foley?

  Couple of Deep Eddys.

• 53:19Speaker 03

  Let's go.

• 53:20Speaker 01

  What a, huh.

• 53:21Speaker 03

  Buddy, but if you get like, that what's, I mean, I got the, I, it's probably two thousand, I've been doing stand up for fifteen years, but I, I, I mean, what, I always go, what was the plan? Like, I got Instagram and it was posting funny videos. Girls were like, what's up? And I was like, what? I mean, we've all experienced the way you guys have sure experienced it, cause.

• 53:45Speaker 01

  Nope.

• 53:47H. Foley?

  Have you seen us?

• 53:48Speaker 01

  I get a lot of guys that look like me. Going, hey, where'd you get that meatball parm?

• 53:54H. Foley?

  My husband's a huge fan.

• 53:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, they go, well, I just know, like, kinda getting bullied a little bit when I went to that, that school. And then all of a sudden, you're like.

• 54:04Speaker 01

  You're cool.

• 54:06Speaker 03

  You, but I think comedy makes people that otherwise, look at all these comics. That wouldn't, are not socially, or that would fit in, comedy makes us cool. Right?

• 54:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I agree.

• 54:18H. Foley?

  Hear that, Luke?

• 54:20Speaker 01

  Take that.

• 54:22Speaker 03

  Comedy makes us cool.

• 54:23H. Foley?

  Uh, no, you're, you're, you agree.

• 54:23Speaker 03

  That my compression socks.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  I agree. I'd be a construction worker if it wasn't for this. Um, hmm.

• 54:31Speaker 01

  How, well.

• 54:31H. Foley?

  Would you have chores, hold on, would you have chores around the house?

• 54:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, chores.

• 54:34Speaker 01

  God, they're probably, yeah, they're probably on a chain gang.

• 54:36Speaker 03

  We had, yeah, uh, every Saturday, we wake up and there's a, a list.

• 54:40H. Foley?

  Cut the lawn, do this.

• 54:41Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, cut the lawn, cut the grass.

• 54:41H. Foley?

  And it looks like from, the old man likes to keep the place nice.

• 54:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, gotta be clean. Everything's gotta be clean.

• 54:46Speaker 01

  What was the cushy job? What did you want? Did you want the?

• 54:48Speaker 03

  Well, see, there's, there's the front yard, and then it was the front yard, then the backyard was in half. So it's the top half of the back or bottom half of the back.

• 54:57Speaker 01

  There's a hill.

• 54:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's a hill. So you wanted the top half because the, the water went down to the, and it was thick down there. And the top half, na na na na na na, you're out of there. The bottom half.

• 55:07H. Foley?

  No pool, I assume?

• 55:08Speaker 03

  No pool, we had, did.

• 55:10H. Foley?

  Can you swim?

• 55:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I can swim.

• 55:13H. Foley?

  Where'd you learn how to swim?

• 55:14Speaker 03

  Uh, this girl, Ashley Stewart's house. She had above ground pool.

• 55:18Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 55:19Speaker 03

  A loophole. We went over there. She was wearing a blue bikini one time.

• 55:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, she was.

• 55:26Speaker 03

  I'd never experienced something like that before. It was unbelievable.

• 55:30Speaker 01

  Uh huh. I know that.

• 55:32H. Foley?

  Uh, let's talk about now.

• 55:33Speaker 01

  I got, oh, sorry, well, what was a, what was a vacation? I guess to, up to Lancaster?

• 55:38Speaker 03

  We would go to like, like, we'd drive to like, uh, national parks and stuff. Like, um, Yosemite, Yellowstone, seeing the geysers. Everything had to be kind of homeschool, everything was like a homeschool.

• 55:51Speaker 01

  Extension.

• 55:52Speaker 03

  Learning.

• 55:52Speaker 01

  Let's go look at the caves.

• 55:53Speaker 03

  We learned about the, the, uh, Mount whatever, Rushmore, let's go see.

• 55:58Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 55:59Speaker 03

  So, uh, every vacation was learning.

• 56:01H. Foley?

  No video games?

• 56:03Speaker 03

  No, dude.

• 56:03H. Foley?

  So when you would go to bed at night?

• 56:05Speaker 01

  They put a trash bag on a TV after the Braves game.

• 56:09Speaker 03

  We Super Mario Brothers, one of our buddies had it.

• 56:11H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 56:12Speaker 03

  Bum bum bum bum bum bum.

• 56:13Speaker 01

  That probably blew your brain, no?

• 56:14Speaker 03

  Oh, blew my brain.

• 56:16H. Foley?

  Were you aware that video games existed?

• 56:20Speaker 03

  No. I mean, we never heard, we, no.

• 56:23Speaker 01

  That's like, that's like trying to explain the internet to a doll. You just like, you're like, yeah, there's a TV, then there's a guy you play, you run around, you jump, you jump in a plant's mouth.

• 56:30H. Foley?

  So what would you do at night?

• 56:31Speaker 03

  Tetris was just, I mean, this is what, we had never seen something like this.

• 56:35H. Foley?

  What would you do at night before you went to bed? Would you like read?

• 56:39Speaker 03

  There would be a lot of like, uh, building, a lot of reading, the Hardy Boys.

• 56:44H. Foley?

  Hardy Boys, that's not bad.

• 56:45Speaker 01

  Good clean fun.

• 56:46Speaker 03

  Hardy Boys was wild, did we, yeah. And then the, uh, there's like Christian, um, like music.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  Everything was, you know, curved.

• 56:53H. Foley?

  What time was Lights Out?

• 56:55Speaker 03

  You ever know any Christian bands?

• 56:57Speaker 01

  No, not really.

• 56:59Speaker 03

  Dang, DC Talk, Chris Tomlin, nothing, Hillsong. None of this? Yeah, no, Hillsong.

• 57:06H. Foley?

  Hillsong's the church, isn't it?

• 57:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, Hillsong's the church, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:09H. Foley?

  That guy packs them in, doesn't he?

• 57:11Speaker 01

  Moves that kid.

• 57:16Speaker 01

  The southern kids are killing it right now.

• 57:20H. Foley?

  What time was Lights Out?

• 57:21Speaker 03

  Ten o'clock, ten o'clock.

• 57:22H. Foley?

  Ten o'clock?

• 57:23Speaker 01

  That's not bad.

• 57:24H. Foley?

  And how many, who, how many were you in a room with?

• 57:26Speaker 03

  Five.

• 57:28Speaker 01

  How many bedrooms was this train station?

• 57:29Speaker 03

  It was one big room above the garage. He, my dad built the garage.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  Gotcha. Oh, that's pretty cool. So you had your own little out, your own little...

• 57:35Speaker 03

  He's like, we're doing a lot of, we were moving a lot of, we got a lot of bodies up here, so we would just, it was, it was like, uh...

• 57:41Speaker 01

  It was detached from the house?

• 57:42Speaker 03

  Kind of, yeah, the beds were kind of on the walls, and they're like in the, like, uh...

• 57:47Speaker 01

  That's a little bit of independence, where you're like away from the main house.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:50H. Foley?

  You put the boys to bond a little bit?

• 57:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, all five boys over there.

• 57:52Speaker 01

  I like that, that's pretty cool.

• 57:53H. Foley?

  What were the Christmas presents like?

• 57:55Speaker 03

  Well, the, the, um, the, one of our grandmothers was kind of doing well. So she, we always went up there to Christmas.

• 58:03Speaker 01

  What's well?

• 58:04Speaker 03

  It, they, the dairy.

• 58:05H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 58:06Speaker 03

  She owned the dairy, so we would always, we would go up there for Christmas, up to Lancaster, and she was doing well.

• 58:12H. Foley?

  But she wouldn't get you like G.I. Joes and stuff like that, right?

• 58:15Speaker 03

  No, no, no, like a Scrabble or something like that, or like a...

• 58:18H. Foley?

  Scrabble's doing well?

• 58:19Speaker 03

  Like a, a horn, or like a...

• 58:20H. Foley?

  I got a G.I. Joe headquarters and that'll blow your brains out, you kidding me?

• 58:24Speaker 01

  He got that for Christmas this year.

• 58:26Speaker 03

  But wouldn't you want to, wouldn't you want to, if you could like, starting now... Like when I went to rehab.

• 58:30Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 58:31Speaker 03

  It was no, obviously no drugs, no alcohol, no women, no uh uh no caffeine, no sugar, no fiction books, no uh even if you got a runner's high from working out, they wouldn't let you do that. So in essence, it'll, it was so sad and depressing and horrible, but it reset the.

• 58:50Speaker 01

  I would love that.

• 58:51Speaker 03

  Have a chicken sandwich.

• 58:52Speaker 01

  Reset your levels.

• 58:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, you go out and have like a Sprite and it was like.

• 58:55Speaker 01

  So now shuffleboard's cool again.

• 58:57Speaker 03

  Dude, going to like the park with my nephew, I was like playing golf on, that's rehab.

• 59:05Speaker 01

  You're good at golf?

• 59:06Speaker 03

  Great at golf.

• 59:07Speaker 01

  What do you shoot?

• 59:07Speaker 03

  Um, eight handicap. Me and me.

• 59:12Speaker 01

  Very good.

• 59:13Speaker 03

  Me and Bargazzi play a pretty good bit.

• 59:14Speaker 01

  What's he hitting?

• 59:15Speaker 03

  He's about a six, but we play straight up when we gamble.

• 59:18Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 59:19Speaker 03

  Oh, where gambling's kind of, that's a new.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  That's where you draw the rule.

• 59:23Speaker 03

  No, that's where we.

• 59:24Speaker 01

  And you're allowed to?

• 59:25Speaker 03

  Not really, but I kinda like.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  I ain't talking to nobody.

• 59:28H. Foley?

  He wasn't allowed to drink the Ed Hardee's or whatever the hell they were either. Did it.

• 59:32Speaker 03

  Well, Draft.

• 59:32Speaker 01

  Harvey Wallbanger?

• 59:33Speaker 03

  DraftKings, DraftKings was like, hey, we want to sponsor for my podcast. And I was like.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  What's that promo code looking like?

• 59:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Or what, like, what would my fan base, would that be?

• 59:45Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 59:45Speaker 03

  You know what I'm saying? Like, I wouldn't do like one of the sex, like.

• 59:49Speaker 01

  Adam and Eve or something.

• 59:50Speaker 03

  I probably, I wouldn't.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:52Speaker 03

  But.

• 59:53Speaker 01

  Either would we. That's promo code garlic.

• 59:55Speaker 03

  But, but you go, I don't know. Like Christians are kind of, we, I always have a joke about it in my show. Like, we're kind of easing up on gambling now. They're like, eh.

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  That makes sense.

• 1:00:04Speaker 03

  Which all my act is very like, like, these things are put into perspective.

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  It's you, not, it's you, yeah.

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  But I'm still in it. I'm still in it. Yeah. And that's what the whole, the whole thing is like, well, what do we love?

• 1:00:14Speaker 01

  Well, it's like, yeah, this rule was written whenever and now there's DraftKings. So that's how, how are we coping?

• 1:00:20Speaker 03

  So how, and if you pray for some, a team to win and then you bet on it, that's a fate.

• 1:00:25H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 1:00:27Speaker 03

  Nothing wrong with that.

• 1:00:29H. Foley?

  Jesus likes the over.

• 1:00:32Speaker 03

  They've been making loopholes. Like every, I think Adam Carolla had a bit about, he goes, every religion that was ever man-made is like, what do the guys like to do like Rastafarian? Like, we gotta get rid of, what about weed?

• 1:00:44Speaker 03

  They're like, hey, what about, uh, multiple wives? Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of ah going on. And that's what my, that's what my act is. Yeah.

• 1:00:53H. Foley?

  When did you get your passport?

• 1:00:55Speaker 03

  Ooh. I've had one forever.

• 1:00:57H. Foley?

  Forever?

• 1:00:58Speaker 03

  My whole life, I've had one.

• 1:00:59H. Foley?

  Really?

• 1:00:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, we went to, my parents took us to Europe. As a kid, my dad was preaching over there for something.

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  Very cool.

• 1:01:06Speaker 03

  I went, I've had it for always. I've been to like, every, probably, on church missions, I've probably been to 30 countries.

• 1:01:12Speaker 01

  No kidding?

• 1:01:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, and Christians are also easing up on that too. Like, we shouldn't be going over there and telling them how to get to heaven. Maybe, yeah, this is probably not helping.

• 1:01:22H. Foley?

  You ever do the thing where you guys go to like an island and talk to like a tribe or anything like that?

• 1:01:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  No kidding?

• 1:01:27Speaker 03

  Yeah. Build them a well or something like that?

• 1:01:29H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 1:01:30Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  Holy shit.

• 1:01:32Speaker 03

  I'm going to one in like a month.

• 1:01:34H. Foley?

  Really?

• 1:01:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're going to Peru.

• 1:01:36Speaker 01

  No kidding?

• 1:01:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:37Speaker 01

  I'm going to Cancun. Get some of that deep Eddie in.

• 1:01:43Speaker 03

  Deep Eddie's.

• 1:01:43H. Foley?

  Maybe I'll catch you on a layover.

• 1:01:45Speaker 03

  Deep Eddie's is like, what, sales are going up? What happened? I was like, oh yeah, there's this guy that was heavy into deep Eddie's.

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  All right, a couple of questions now. Very well put together.

• 1:01:52H. Foley?

  Very well.

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  I keep getting eyes on that Shaq.

• 1:01:56H. Foley?

  Sharp guy, you're a very sharp guy.

• 1:01:57Speaker 01

  What brand is that?

• 1:01:59Speaker 03

  Uh, I don't know, Stylist.

• 1:02:00Speaker 01

  Stylist did, ah, you're doing press and stuff. Now, do you own that? Or do you gotta give that back?

• 1:02:05Speaker 03

  Uh, I own this one.

• 1:02:06Speaker 01

  You own that one?

• 1:02:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  Do you know how to tie a tie? How many suits do you own?

• 1:02:12Speaker 03

  Six or seven.

• 1:02:13H. Foley?

  Wait, hold on, you said Stylist put that together for you?

• 1:02:16Speaker 03

  Whoa. Yeah.

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  You're on the Tonight Show.

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  The Tonight Show, yeah, they got, they got me.

• 1:02:19Speaker 01

  And I'm Jimmy Fallon.

• 1:02:22H. Foley?

  We'll be right back.

• 1:02:25H. Foley?

  No kidding.

• 1:02:26Speaker 03

  They may looking good over there. Yeah, but that's only because I've been able to, you know, like, rich people look better.

• 1:02:33H. Foley?

  You're doing well.

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  Well, they have a-

• 1:02:34Speaker 01

  We do pretty well. We still look like shit.

• 1:02:36Speaker 03

  You know how those photos of like if Brad Pitt was like middle class?

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, for sure. I agree. Okay.

• 1:02:43H. Foley?

  I saw him the other night. He was going out to dinner with Bradley Cooper. I don't know what the hell he was wearing.

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, he looked-

• 1:02:49Speaker 01

  What were you wearing at the time you saw it?

• 1:02:51H. Foley?

  I think I was in my underwear.

• 1:02:52Speaker 03

  You know, that's like a Billy Ma- or not Billy Madison, Adam Sandler. He dresses-

• 1:02:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  But he dresses like that ironically.

• 1:02:57H. Foley?

  Yes, of course.

• 1:02:58Speaker 03

  That's what people don't understand. They're like, dude, in the South, it's big like, are you, do you have this mullet?

• 1:03:03Speaker 01

  Ironically, yeah, now it's cool. Cause the South is cool. Like, the Southern culture is very cool.

• 1:03:07Speaker 03

  NASCAR, are you at this race ironically?

• 1:03:10Speaker 01

  Because it's a thing to do.

• 1:03:11Speaker 03

  Or are you like, OMG Dale Earnhardt Jr. Or are you like, or do you love Chase Elliott?

• 1:03:17H. Foley?

  Pitt was wearing something goofy. It was like oversized jeans and like a weird fluffy shirt. Bradley Cooper's got a regular T on jeans and nice fit.

• 1:03:25Speaker 01

  Hey, Page Six, we got an Amish guy over here. Shut up.

• 1:03:29H. Foley?

  Have you ever seen Page? Do you know who Brad Pitt is?

• 1:03:30Speaker 03

  Page Six, I don't know who Page Six is. Yeah.

• 1:03:33H. Foley?

  Ah, oh man.

• 1:03:35Speaker 01

  What kind of car you got?

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  A Range Rover.

• 1:03:37Speaker 01

  Yay, you do.

• 1:03:40H. Foley?

  You're doing well.

• 1:03:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're doing well. We're doing well.

• 1:03:43H. Foley?

  Do you own the house out in Nashville?

• 1:03:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, he does.

• 1:03:45H. Foley?

  Place out there, huh?

• 1:03:46Speaker 03

  That was always, uh-

• 1:03:48H. Foley?

  Will the family come out?

• 1:03:49Speaker 01

  Good for you.

• 1:03:50Speaker 03

  The family come to my house?

• 1:03:51H. Foley?

  Yeah, he's killing it. What are you talking about?

• 1:03:53Speaker 01

  I'm not, what did I say that made it seem that he wasn't doing well? Just own a fucking Land Rover, a Range Rover.

• 1:04:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you always like, you know, like, well, it was, it was, well, I don't do churches anymore.

• 1:04:06H. Foley?

  Right.

• 1:04:06Speaker 03

  So I'm in the past, for the past six years, I haven't done a church. Just cause I think the relationship's a little tricky. You're paying money to see me, and that's kind of what led to my- Rehab slash cancellation is like, we thought he was going home to read the Bible. Cause we saw him in church and I wasn't.

• 1:04:21Speaker 01

  So like, yeah, there was, I see what you're saying. There was a responsibility to live in the exact certain way.

• 1:04:27Speaker 03

  If you were like a missionary to a foreign country, like, we're all sending you money. You can't have a Range Rover.

• 1:04:32Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:04:32Speaker 03

  Cause you're...

• 1:04:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:34Speaker 03

  Like the preacher, that's the argument about the preachers these days. Is they're on the tithe. You can't have a jet, cause we, you told us you were...

• 1:04:43H. Foley?

  Kenneth Copeland.

• 1:04:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:44H. Foley?

  Got Tyler Perry's jet.

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, so that's a rub, so if I go, if I'm working in churches, you can't really be like, flexing.

• 1:04:52Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:04:53Speaker 03

  On a private jet.

• 1:04:53Speaker 01

  I get it, cause I feel bad that I quit smoking cigs. I feel like I let our fanbase down. So I get what you're saying, just from another angle.

• 1:05:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, same thing. Yeah, I got you.

• 1:05:04H. Foley?

  I mean, that's a very commendable thing, so you stepped out of that to make it more...

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  Well, I just think it was a little, and I wasn't living...

• 1:05:12Speaker 01

  How you felt you should be living in a church.

• 1:05:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was living a secret, a living a secret, and now I'm not anymore.

• 1:05:17Speaker 01

  That's respectable, living like 20.

• 1:05:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, so if I'm...

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  That I know of.

• 1:05:24H. Foley?

  Wait, so when your family, when your mom and dad come over, you got the TV and all that stuff, right?

• 1:05:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, they got the TV now.

• 1:05:30H. Foley?

  Oh, they do?

• 1:05:31Speaker 01

  Times are changing, who don't have a TV? Comes with the, comes with the train station.

• 1:05:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, God is loosening, my joke is like, when I was growing up, there were so many rules now. God seems to be chilling out.

• 1:05:40Speaker 01

  You can only fight it for so long. I mean, everything's, you know...

• 1:05:44H. Foley?

  Are you doing, are you doing Christmas out? Everybody come to your house?

• 1:05:47Speaker 03

  Um, Nashville, we did Christmas in Nashville once.

• 1:05:50H. Foley?

  Are you doing the best out of the whole family, I would say? Financially?

• 1:05:54Speaker 03

  Man, I don't know about that. I don't know about that.

• 1:05:56H. Foley?

  Your brothers are finance.

• 1:05:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, it is kind of a... Is it like that in your family? You're just trying to guess how everybody's doing?

• 1:06:03H. Foley?

  I know my brother's killing me.

• 1:06:05Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, he is? So if you guys go to...

• 1:06:08H. Foley?

  Buy me and sell me.

• 1:06:08Speaker 03

  So if you go to dinner, he picks it up?

• 1:06:11H. Foley?

  No, I do.

• 1:06:11Speaker 01

  He does it now.

• 1:06:12H. Foley?

  I do it now.

• 1:06:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, but why?

• 1:06:14H. Foley?

  Because I'm trying to make up for being a scumbag all my life.

• 1:06:16Speaker 01

  We lived off our brothers for a very long time.

• 1:06:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, but now you're doing decent, you're doing better.

• 1:06:21Speaker 01

  I'm doing very well.

• 1:06:22Speaker 03

  You're doing very well, yeah, you're doing very well. Yeah, this is, everything is unbelievable.

• 1:06:26H. Foley?

  I got a TV.

• 1:06:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, I see, I know where your podcast ranks.

• 1:06:30Speaker 01

  I wouldn't be here if it wasn't.

• 1:06:31Speaker 03

  You're doing very well.

• 1:06:33Speaker 01

  I got a stylist.

• 1:06:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:36Speaker 01

  Wasting my time with you guys. All right, I mean, listen.

• 1:06:39H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:41Speaker 01

  Phew.

• 1:06:41H. Foley?

  Gotta have you back.

• 1:06:42Speaker 03

  What, is there a final verdict, or what?

• 1:06:44Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, you're trash, for sure. There's no way around that. Uh, very tough to bounce back from with the Amish, the train state, although it's very nice, you know.

• 1:06:52H. Foley?

  That's crazy story.

• 1:06:54Speaker 01

  I mean, yeah, you're a hundred percent, we barely scratched it. You and Dusty Slay have the only...

• 1:07:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:01Speaker 01

  We only made it till Dusty's 18th birthday, to graduate high school, and then we have to, yeah, we...

• 1:07:05Speaker 03

  What was your verdict on him?

• 1:07:06Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:07:07Speaker 03

  What? Yeah, yeah, I got you, got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's, dude, he's become more...

• 1:07:11H. Foley?

  He was in the army for like 45 minutes.

• 1:07:15Speaker 03

  He's become more, like, conservative and Christian, not in a conservative in a political way, but like, he's more... Hey, we're gonna remove ourselves from...

• 1:07:24Speaker 01

  That life.

• 1:07:25Speaker 03

  We're going farming, we're gonna make sure...

• 1:07:27H. Foley?

  He's got his shit together, too.

• 1:07:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's tightened it up.

• 1:07:31H. Foley?

  You guys, you eat deviled eggs?

• 1:07:33Speaker 03

  That's hilarious that you asked that. We didn't.

• 1:07:35H. Foley?

  No kidding, 'cause they're deviled eggs?

• 1:07:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, we didn't.

• 1:07:37Speaker 01

  I just, 'cause he asks everybody that. I didn't even put the devil...

• 1:07:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. Angel food cake's what we had, brother. Yeah, we had the devil's eggs, no.

• 1:07:46H. Foley?

  With paprika?

• 1:07:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. It was all very, a lot of, a lot of stuff like that. They were like, uh, you know, like...

• 1:07:51H. Foley?

  So no devil's food cake?

• 1:07:52Speaker 03

  No, like, stuff like horns, or like, any kind of...

• 1:07:55H. Foley?

  Horns?

• 1:07:56Speaker 01

  How, how, how off there they come?

• 1:07:59H. Foley?

  Who's he?

• 1:08:01Speaker 01

  Take a, take the horns off that paprika.

• 1:08:03Speaker 03

  Did you ever hear any, did you ever heard, like, if, like, backwards masking, like, if you listen to ACDC backwards?

• 1:08:08Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:08:08Speaker 03

  Your devil is in your... That kind of stuff. A lot of, a lot of fear of, of unknown.

• 1:08:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it, of course, yeah.

• 1:08:17H. Foley?

  Hey, you missed out on a lot of good horn, I'll tell you that.

• 1:08:19Speaker 01

  What'd you say, Pizza Hut or Domino's?

• 1:08:21Speaker 03

  Pizza Hut, for sure, uh, because the personal pen, we read a lot of books.

• 1:08:25H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:26Speaker 03

  Remember that?

• 1:08:26H. Foley?

  So you were allowed to do Pizza Hut?

• 1:08:28Speaker 01

  The book it.

• 1:08:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude. We would, because we would come in there with, we would ride our bikes to the library. Yeah, game over, dude.

• 1:08:34Speaker 01

  Oh, God, here comes the Chris.

• 1:08:35Speaker 03

  They had to change the policy.

• 1:08:37Speaker 01

  There's 10 of them and they don't have a TV. We're screwed.

• 1:08:41H. Foley?

  Hide the cups.

• 1:08:43Speaker 01

  Quick, throw the horns up. Scare them off.

• 1:08:46H. Foley?

  Oh my god. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. John Crist.

• 1:08:50Speaker 01

  Amazing. What a story.

• 1:08:51Speaker 03

  Honored to be here.

• 1:08:52H. Foley?

  Unbelievable.

• 1:08:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, man.

• 1:08:54H. Foley?

  Check out emotional support on his YouTube page. Check out his whole YouTube page. And of course, he's gonna be kicking off the fall tour. In Las Vegas, Nevada, the Encore Theater, August 31st.

• 1:09:03Speaker 03

  No gambling.

• 1:09:04Speaker 01

  No gambling.

• 1:09:04H. Foley?

  No gambling.

• 1:09:05Speaker 01

  None.

• 1:09:06Speaker 03

  Well, that's a big deal about that.

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  Depends on the spread.

• 1:09:08Speaker 03

  We're going to, yeah. Christians, Christians coming to, coming to Vegas is a big, we would never do that 10 years ago.

• 1:09:13Speaker 01

  I mean, that's, that's a test of, uh, God's will.

• 1:09:16Speaker 03

  It's a see, yeah, but Christians are cool about that now.

• 1:09:19H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 1:09:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, loosening the, loosening the belt a little bit.

• 1:09:22H. Foley?

  Loopholes, baby. It's all about the loopholes. Buddy, that was absolutely fantastic. We can't thank you enough.

• 1:09:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was amazing.

• 1:09:27Speaker 03

  Honored to be here.

• 1:09:28H. Foley?

  We love you. Anything else you want the folks out there to know?

• 1:09:30Speaker 03

  Ah, dude, anything, dude. Come by and say hi. If you come by through a meet and greet or something like that, that if you've come from RE Garbage, that would be awesome.

• 1:09:37Speaker 01

  Go.

• 1:09:38Speaker 03

  If somebody, no, somebody says, cause a lot of, like, I think, uh, like, the, really, the comics, Pods put me on the map. That's, everybody would say, like, Theo.

• 1:09:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:48Speaker 03

  Nate, uh, Andrew Santino.

• 1:09:51Speaker 01

  Love those guys.

• 1:09:52Speaker 03

  Those are the guys that were like, I, Tonight Show is like my first ever credit.

• 1:09:57H. Foley?

  Same thing with us.

• 1:09:59Speaker 03

  Doing my own thing and comics.

• 1:10:00Speaker 01

  The podcast, the, the comic podcasters have been the most supportive.

• 1:10:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:04Speaker 01

  Of, you know, it's like, it's a, it's a great community.

• 1:10:06Speaker 03

  I think it's awesome.

• 1:10:07H. Foley?

  Bert, Tom, Tim.

• 1:10:08Speaker 03

  Bert, too.

• 1:10:08H. Foley?

  Schultz, yeah.

• 1:10:09Speaker 01

  Everybody's been great.

• 1:10:10H. Foley?

  Stavi, everybody.

• 1:10:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, we gotta figure it out.

• 1:10:12H. Foley?

  Yeah. Buddy, we love you.

• 1:10:13Speaker 03

  Thank you, man.

• 1:10:14H. Foley?

  Thank you so much for coming.

• 1:10:15Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 1:10:15H. Foley?

  Uh, Kip, what do you got for him?

• 1:10:16Speaker 01

  Uh, we're on the, we're on the road to fall and winter dates are on sale. REGarbage.com. Uh, get your tickets before they're gone.

• 1:10:23H. Foley?

  Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week.