#127 - Maddy Smith

Maddy Smith returns to the pod to discuss finally making it onto a free episode, the status of unionization at Wild’n Out, getting aggro DMs from creepy fans, why Gen X are such losers, Fran Drescher, and much more. Maddy and Stav help callers including a plus-sized woman who has only been bought a drink by a blind man, and a woman whose longtime ex is now dating a clone of her. Exclusive $35-off Carver Mat at AuraFrames.com. Promo Code STAVVY Protect your home from bugs with Pestie. Go to pestie.com/STAVVY for an extra 10% off your order. Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. See Maddy Smith live and follow her on social media: https://maddysmithcomedy.com/ https://www.facebook.com/somaddysmith https://twitter.com/somaddysmith https://www.instagram.com/somaddysmith/ https://www.tiktok.com/@somaddysmith https://www.youtube.com/c/MaddySmithcomedy 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. Start your morning with the $6 Mcgriddle's Extra Value Meal. Featuring your choice of a sausage, egg and cheese Mcgriddle's or bacon, egg and cheese Mcgriddle's. Plus crispy hash browns and a small premium roast coffee. Sweet, savory, crispy and caffeinated. It's everything your morning ordered, all for just $6. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing at participating McDonald's.

• 0:25Speaker 01

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• 0:54Stavros Halkias?

  Opah, welcome everybody to Stavi's World. 904-800-STOP, calling to solve your problems. We have back one of our favorites, Matty Smith is here.

• 1:07Speaker 03

  Hey, what's up, Stavi?

• 1:08Stavros Halkias?

  What's up? Oh, that's good.

• 1:10Speaker 03

  What's up, Stavi?

• 1:10Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, you're full...

• 1:12Speaker 03

  Before the pod? Yeah, it seems great. My ex turned up, "How you do? I'll see you." "You inspire me."

• 1:19Stavros Halkias?

  You're in full Wild 'N Out mode.

• 1:23Stavros Halkias?

  You're off the clock, Matty, relax.

• 1:25Speaker 03

  Hey, listen, I see that little red light on the camera. I say, "I gotta, I gotta bring some."

• 1:31Stavros Halkias?

  Play a beat for her, let her freestyle.

• 1:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, let's get a little freestyle.

• 1:34Stavros Halkias?

  Let her freestyle roast jokes.

• 1:37Speaker 03

  We in Stavi's World, I'm gonna hurl, I'm a little girl.

• 1:45Speaker 03

  That's all I got.

• 1:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's good.

• 1:46Speaker 03

  Did you ever audition for Wild 'N Out?

• 1:47Stavros Halkias?

  I never did.

• 1:48Speaker 03

  Okay, I know a lot of people went through that.

• 1:51Stavros Halkias?

  That's so funny to have like, because you, you know, you talk to people who have like, "I got so close to SNL" and it like, it like ruins their lives. It's like, imagine it's like Wild 'N Out. "If only it was me that could have said Nick Cannon busts all the time and has a bunch of kids."

• 2:08Speaker 03

  "If only it was me who pulled out a condom and was like, 'Need one of these.'"

• 2:14Speaker 03

  God damn it!

• 2:15Stavros Halkias?

  Why didn't I think about?

• 2:17Speaker 03

  I'm losing it!

• 2:17Stavros Halkias?

  Why didn't I call that guy gay?

• 2:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, why didn't I call that guy gay? Why didn't I tell that white person that they don't season their food? I'm pissed at myself right now.

• 2:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's like, there's six things you need to say.

• 2:28Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, it's a dropdown menu. It's a literal dropdown menu. It's like a multiple choice fucking test. I'm like, "Flat ass."

• 2:35Stavros Halkias?

  Flat ass, yep.

• 2:37Speaker 03

  "You would put your dick in my mouth."

• 2:38Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 2:40Speaker 03

  "Call the cops on a barbecue."

• 2:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah, that's a big one, that's a big one, yes.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  "Can you back that ass up?" I'm like, "I don't like that."

• 2:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that is, you're like, it's like, um, when like, uh, they had, when Fox News hires like a liberal to make fun of them, you're basically like wilding out. You're like, they're like, "All right, we need a, we need the palest white girl you've ever seen in your life."

• 3:04Speaker 03

  "Whitest girl in the world to point out how we are always late."

• 3:09Stavros Halkias?

  I've been here for hours, Nick. Where's the rest of the, where's the rest of the crew?

• 3:14Speaker 03

  Cause in my, in my church, we start on time.

• 3:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you have to pretend you go to church.

• 3:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I do.

• 3:20Stavros Halkias?

  To have jokes about how different white church is.

• 3:23Speaker 03

  I have to pretend I cook, I go to church.

• 3:29Speaker 03

  Gotta pretend, sneakers, I gotta pretend I like sneakers.

• 3:35Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 3:36Speaker 03

  But if you wear like dirty sneakers around black people.

• 3:38Stavros Halkias?

  Forget about it.

• 3:39Speaker 03

  Game over.

• 3:39Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, come on, I know about that.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  Disrespect, yeah, you know, yeah.

• 3:41Stavros Halkias?

  I do know about that. It is true though, that is what, like, it is funny because it's just, to me, that's like, "Oh, I have to just go to high school for the rest of my life?"

• 3:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:51Stavros Halkias?

  Wilding out just feels like the high school cafeteria.

• 3:54Speaker 03

  It really does, doesn't it?

• 3:55Stavros Halkias?

  And you know what? That's funny when you are 14 years old. But it's like, there's 48 year old guys doing that level of humor.

• 4:03Speaker 03

  It is pretty crazy how old everyone is.

• 4:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, everyone is old as shit.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  I've been on for seven, every single season, the EP is like, "We getting rid of people."

• 4:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 4:12Speaker 03

  Cause I don't want, I don't want to work with 40 year olds on MTV.

• 4:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:15Speaker 03

  Same season, over and over, Carlos Miller, Chico Bean.

• 4:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  "Kick him out of the classroom."

• 4:20Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's what I, it's like-

• 4:21Speaker 03

  You have eight baby mamas. And we're, we're like doing nursery rhymes.

• 4:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's like how fucking Ric Flair wrestled till he was 80 years old.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 4:31Stavros Halkias?

  Wild N Out is just gonna go the way of Hulk Hogan.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, it is. Old people.

• 4:37Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that is, it's not, the idea that Wild N Out would continue to be like, would continue to capture the youth is insane. It's just gonna age with the, nothing ever stays fresh and relevant.

• 4:49Speaker 03

  No, it's like, you know, SNL is trying to do like Gen Z humor.

• 4:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 4:54Speaker 03

  Wild N Out is, they wanna think they're for the youth, but they're for the old heads.

• 4:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, well, like, Wild N Out is almost like Gen X. Like, how old is Nick Cannon? Like, to them, to them, the youth is millennials.

• 5:07Speaker 03

  Like, I'll get people, yeah, I know, right?

• 5:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's us, we're old.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  I'm 33, they're like, you kid.

• 5:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:14Speaker 03

  You're such a baby. Yeah, I think Nick is 40, and then I'll have people come to my shows.

• 5:18Stavros Halkias?

  They just think this is what, how white people is, they think you're 18?

• 5:21Speaker 03

  They do, yeah, yeah.

• 5:22Stavros Halkias?

  They're like, well, yeah, white, white people look like shit, right? The young white people look horrible, right?

• 5:30Speaker 03

  This lady's 12.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, it is like, uh, yeah, Nick's 40.

• 5:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, I think, is he older than 40? I don't know, look that, do a little, do a little fucking produ, would it kill you to do some producing elders?

• 5:44Speaker 03

  It's funny, I was thinking the same thing.

• 5:46Stavros Halkias?

  For Christ's sake, and we can't see it, you don't even have us up.

• 5:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, we don't even have the desk.

• 5:49Stavros Halkias?

  You fucking idiot, dude. 44, 1980, that's tough. And then let's look up, uh, the cutoff for the generations.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, he might be a, that might be Gen X, right?

• 6:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 6:03Speaker 03

  Wow, right, right there.

• 6:05Stavros Halkias?

  He's the oldest possible millennial. That's tough. He's really close.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, it is tough.

• 6:12Stavros Halkias?

  You know what they just started? This is a generation, not only, so Z is basically, Z is almost done.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  Z is cooked.

• 6:18Stavros Halkias?

  Z is almost done, Alpha's right around the corner, and now, baby's born this year, or Generation Beta.

• 6:24Speaker 03

  I saw that. That sucks.

• 6:26Stavros Halkias?

  I just had a nephew, he's the first Ba, he's the Nick Cannon of Betas.

• 6:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's a.

• 6:30Stavros Halkias?

  He's gonna be the oldest Gen Beta. He literally was born in January of this year, dude.

• 6:36Speaker 03

  I'm the biggest Beta. Oh, you're a big Beta.

• 6:40Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to my boy.

• 6:42Speaker 03

  Beta sucks, that's like, cuck.

• 6:44Stavros Halkias?

  I know.

• 6:45Speaker 03

  Like, right away, cuck.

• 6:45Stavros Halkias?

  I know. How did X get cool? Like, Gen X, the lamest people of all time.

• 6:50Speaker 03

  Lame, gotta be the lamest.

• 6:51Stavros Halkias?

  Truly the biggest fucking dorks. Like, whatever you wanna say about boomers, they were fucking, they didn't have to worry about AIDS. They were doing ass, they would like take drugs, they would go to like, you know, Woodstock, free love.

• 7:03Speaker 03

  Parent, my mom's, my mom's mom was like, "You, you, you, you, you're so pretty if only you were a little thinner."

• 7:09Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right. They had somebody to rebel against. See, that's the biggest thing that boomers took from us. Is like, they weren't, or at least like the, especially the free love boomers.

• 7:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:19Stavros Halkias?

  Is that like, you didn't have anyone to rebel, you couldn't be cool if your mom like sucked off Jimi Hendrix. You know what I mean? Like, she was always gonna be cooler than you.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  My mom is a huge deadhead.

• 7:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  Always, I mean, I don't think.

• 7:33Stavros Halkias?

  What do you think she did on nitrous? While she was listening to those fucking, those jams.

• 7:39Speaker 03

  I think she bit that finger right off.

• 7:43Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome. Yeah.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's true. Yeah, so Gen X, to me, they're the most like.

• 7:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 7:50Speaker 03

  You'll see it online.

• 7:51Stavros Halkias?

  Well, cuz they didn't have the internet, but they did have AIDS. So it's like, they were scared to fuck and they couldn't like look shit up.

• 7:58Speaker 03

  Right.

• 7:59Stavros Halkias?

  They were just like, they were just hanging around watching VHSs together.

• 8:03Speaker 03

  Very isolated. That sucks.

• 8:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I guess that's why they like had raves.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, I guess so.

• 8:08Stavros Halkias?

  They would like go to warehouses and like, you know, whatever, but yeah, Gen X.

• 8:11Speaker 03

  They had raves and studio or, uh, nineties. I guess, was Gen X like ni- like nineties? Like, i- i- if you're Gen X, were you like twenty in the nineties?

• 8:22Stavros Halkias?

  I guess, I don't fucking know. Elders, producing, we're gonna, uh, nineteen sixty-five to nineteen eighty. Yeah, tw- well, yeah, something like that.

• 8:31Speaker 03

  Word.

• 8:32Stavros Halkias?

  Twenty in the nineties, some of them.

• 8:34Speaker 03

  Like, the people who were like fucking up at Woodstock ninety-nine?

• 8:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, exactly, exactly. And that's a perfect example.

• 8:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:41Stavros Halkias?

  Like, it's like, oh, not like, first of all, get your own idea. Like, it's like, oh, it's Woodstock, but it's like, okay, it's fucking. Limp Bizkit?

• 8:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:51Stavros Halkias?

  You think Limp Bizkit is like a cool thing to do drugs to in a field?

• 8:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that music has its place and it's, you know, uh, you, you play the like aggressive stuff when you're like trying to psych yourself up to beat your wife. Like when you're too much of a coward to do it naturally, you gotta get the Kid Rock flowing. To kind of, and then shadow box a little bit and then, you know, you play their ballads afterwards to apologize for slapping.

• 9:21Speaker 03

  Because I'm, I'm afraid of losing you.

• 9:35Speaker 03

  I will say, what's up 99, like punks in the nineties, gotta be the scariest group of people. Everyone's talking about like black teenagers on a train, a nineties punk.

• 9:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  With like a low, short.

• 9:47Stavros Halkias?

  Well, they were on trains, right? They were like on, like, like crust punk type.

• 9:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, they were.

• 9:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I feel like they are.

• 9:53Speaker 03

  They were on trains.

• 9:54Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, like the, they were on like the true locomotives. Like steam engine.

• 9:59Speaker 03

  They were on steam.

• 10:00Stavros Halkias?

  The shitty, like what hobos used to do.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:03Stavros Halkias?

  I feel like those like kinda.

• 10:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:05Stavros Halkias?

  Disaffected punks.

• 10:06Speaker 03

  Like, like kinda punks who just like love pain.

• 10:09Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  Like you, you like, you like, they're like jumping off a roof after school, like doing flips off a roof.

• 10:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what are, what are they, were they, were they like, what is, what, what, what were like those types of punks bands that they listened to? Like, cause I wanna say Green Day, but that's not right at all.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  But similar, but there was more like, like, like, uh, Limp Bizkit and then what was like Limp Bizkit, like.

• 10:35Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, we're talking new, uh, nu metal and U metal. That's a good point. Corn fans.

• 10:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, cause briefly.

• 10:45Speaker 03

  Slipknot or something?

• 10:46Stavros Halkias?

  See what happened, it, that almost, that was like, like how all white trash acts black. Like that for us, there was a blip where it was like, it almost like got them to act in a scary type of way.

• 11:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:00Stavros Halkias?

  Like, there was a lot of people that like, I remember from that timeframe that like, when they were like fourteen.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:06Stavros Halkias?

  Like, gave up acting, like, stealing black culture.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:10Stavros Halkias?

  And they were like, kinda scary for like, two years.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:13Stavros Halkias?

  And then they were like, went right back and got Four XL.

• 11:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:16Stavros Halkias?

  You know, and then it was like, the, uh, the throwback Jersey era.

• 11:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:21Stavros Halkias?

  A couple of years later, they're wearing.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  Like Y2K, kind of, like, yeah.

• 11:24Stavros Halkias?

  Throwback jerseys, but for a second, yes. At least in Baltimore, it might be different in more white places.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  I remember the touch into the acting white.

• 11:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:33Speaker 03

  And then, cause like, even Brendan Sagalow will talk about like.

• 11:37Stavros Halkias?

  Brendan's actually perfect.

• 11:38Speaker 03

  He's perfect, cause he'll be like, "I went back to rock, and then I dipped back into black."

• 11:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:44Speaker 03

  He's perfect, he's like, like, exactly.

• 11:46Stavros Halkias?

  Well, he's also perfect because he had the most privileged suburban Long Island life.

• 11:51Speaker 03

  I know, yeah.

• 11:51Stavros Halkias?

  Like, Brendan's never had any fucking, he has, he has had no adversity except not getting pussy.

• 11:57Speaker 03

  It's awesome.

• 11:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's the only thing, and like, and he acts like that, it's like.

• 12:00Speaker 03

  And he does, so.

• 12:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, he does now.

• 12:02Speaker 03

  Now, yeah.

• 12:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:03Speaker 03

  Back in the day.

• 12:04Stavros Halkias?

  Back in the day.

• 12:05Speaker 03

  You know.

• 12:05Stavros Halkias?

  Those wounds don't heal, Maddy.

• 12:07Speaker 03

  No, I know.

• 12:09Speaker 03

  It's tough for a guy with clear eyelashes.

• 12:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:13Stavros Halkias?

  I know. I look at Sagalow, and I'm like, "Thank God I got famous."

• 12:19Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like, "Fuck, he's still talking about the friend zone." That would have been me, bro. That would have been fucking me, talking about how fucking girls put you in the friend zone at forty years old. And I'm like, "Good, thank you for the podcast fame, thank you."

• 12:34Speaker 03

  Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

• 12:35Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you for making mentally ill women on the internet fans of every podcast I've done.

• 12:41Speaker 03

  Thank you, I love you, girls.

• 12:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're the best.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  Thank you. As well, I should probably say that.

• 12:48Stavros Halkias?

  No, let's bleep her name out.

• 12:50Speaker 03

  Bleep her out.

• 12:55Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah, no, that, it is so fucking funny, but yes, it's funny because it's like, cause then think of Sagalow, but if he was abused, those kids are scary.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 13:05Stavros Halkias?

  Those kids, like, like, yeah, like.

• 13:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You fucking, yeah, yeah. Like he, Sagal's like, fuck you bitch mom.

• 13:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:15Stavros Halkias?

  And then, and those kids are like, fuck you. And then they just like immediately get punched, like a straight punch. And then they're like, time to find the gay kid in my class. And then like, someone's gonna pay for this.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  I'm angry.

• 13:28Stavros Halkias?

  And it's the type of ethnicity that doesn't have backup in my class or the gay one. And that's who's getting the, you know, who's getting the shit kicked out. If there's like a random Indian kid in your like shitty white school or if there's a gay kid.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  Yes, anyone with no backup, yeah.

• 13:43Stavros Halkias?

  Anyone who does not have a community. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like they weren't gonna make a ra, those kids aren't making race wars.

• 13:48Speaker 03

  No.

• 13:48Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no.

• 13:48Speaker 03

  Just one. Can't be pulling it in AP Calculus.

• 13:57Speaker 03

  That's when he's getting beat up.

• 13:59Stavros Halkias?

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• 14:44Stavros Halkias?

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• 16:06Speaker 03

  Were you good at school in high school?

• 16:07Stavros Halkias?

  I was pretty good. I had pretty good grades. Um, I, cause I like wanted, like I really, the whole re, the way like comedy is essentially craving acceptance from strangers. Like I got so much like positive attention from having good grades.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know what you mean.

• 16:25Stavros Halkias?

  Being like a smart, like in my, within my family, it was like dad was like, yeah, I got like, I was better than my, my stupid brothers. You know what I mean? Like, I was like, oh, these fucking morons. I'm number one.

• 16:36Speaker 03

  I'm number one.

• 16:37Stavros Halkias?

  And there was like a contest, like, like Greek or Greek, I went to a Greek school too after, after regular school, which was horrible.

• 16:46Speaker 03

  Well, after school, like a couple hours?

• 16:47Stavros Halkias?

  I had to go, I had to go like a couple hours, like three times a week. Um, but it would suck dick, but.

• 16:52Speaker 03

  And they did language or history or?

• 16:54Stavros Halkias?

  Language, history. It was language and history. Yeah, exactly. And, cause it was like, you know, uh, American Greeks being like, well, our kids are going to still be Greek, you know?

• 17:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:03Stavros Halkias?

  And I just happened to speak better Greek, like my parents just don't, my dad just doesn't know English the way like some people's parents do. And so I spoke Greek from like, that was my first language. And so I was just better at it. But there was a, every year they did like a valedictorian every year. And so I was like, I gotta fucking win. And I, and then some bitch came from Greece.

• 17:23Speaker 03

  Of course, which doesn't count. This is, that's not fair.

• 17:27Stavros Halkias?

  She beat me and I was fucking pissed, dude. I literally was like recount. We need a recount. I was complaining.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  It should be Greek Americans.

• 17:35Stavros Halkias?

  Greek American, yeah. Born on this soil, good old, good old American soil. But I just loved getting any kind of positive attention when you're like a little ass kid. And I remember being like, I don't care about, like, I remember. My mom like truly, there's a moment where she had no idea. She was like, I don't understand what I'm up against here. Where I was like, I don't care about school. I was like yelling. I was like, I just wanna be the best.

• 18:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:01Stavros Halkias?

  I was like, I wish I didn't care. And she saw me having like a freak out.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:04Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like nine years old, being like, I don't wanna study. I wanna go play Playstation.

• 18:09Speaker 03

  But I want everyone to give me AIDS.

• 18:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 18:12Speaker 03

  Massive dilemma.

• 18:14Stavros Halkias?

  And then you discover cheating when you're in like middle school.

• 18:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay.

• 18:18Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, nice.

• 18:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, sick.

• 18:19Stavros Halkias?

  I'll just fucking take the answers.

• 18:21Speaker 03

  Why don't you just tell me?

• 18:24Stavros Halkias?

  What about you?

• 18:24Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I was pretty good. My sister, she's uh, four years older. She's like smart. She's like one of those that's like reading, reading a dictionary when she's three.

• 18:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 18:36Speaker 03

  And so like, I was always like smart, naturally smart, but they were like

• 18:42Speaker 03

  ooh, Emily, Emily, Emily.

• 18:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:45Speaker 03

  When my parents got divorced, my mom stopped like parenting. And then they were both like

• 18:50Stavros Halkias?

  She hit that. She was like, let's get back to the Grateful Dead days.

• 18:54Speaker 03

  She was, she went on, she got on eHarmony.

• 18:58Speaker 03

  Immediately. It was like engineer after engineer.

• 19:01Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, engineer. And so she was dating to, for financial security? Is that why she went for engineers?

• 19:07Speaker 03

  I really think she was like

• 19:08Stavros Halkias?

  Or do you think they were building?

• 19:09Speaker 03

  You know, when you get out of a relationship and you're like, ooh, dating's kinda fun, even though it's not.

• 19:12Stavros Halkias?

  But why an engineer?

• 19:14Speaker 03

  I, I, I think it was the combo of like in her eHarmony profile, she required Grateful Dead as an interest.

• 19:23Stavros Halkias?

  Right. Only nerds.

• 19:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, only nerds are like upstate New York, engineer boomers, music scene, live music people. There's a big overlap between

• 19:31Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 19:31Speaker 03

  the engineers and the live music scene in upstate New York.

• 19:34Stavros Halkias?

  Do you think she wanted them to build fuck machines for her?

• 19:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, I do.

• 19:37Stavros Halkias?

  Like maybe like they engineer like a kinda

• 19:41Speaker 03

  So like, he can leave and she can get fucked. He's like, good girl.

• 19:48Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck.

• 19:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I think she was uh, I mean, she never likes her, her boyfriends really.

• 19:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 19:56Speaker 03

  She's always over them. She's very short circuited. She's always like popping off for no reason.

• 19:59Stavros Halkias?

  Love that. Love that.

• 20:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:02Stavros Halkias?

  So this is what, at what age that we're talking?

• 20:04Speaker 03

  They, they split when I was thirteen and she brought her first boyfriend home when I was fourteen.

• 20:08Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 20:09Speaker 03

  But when they broke up, when they divorced, they were like, we're separating temporarily.

• 20:13Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 20:13Speaker 03

  And then she brought

• 20:14Stavros Halkias?

  And then mom?

• 20:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:18Stavros Halkias?

  Mom got right to it.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  Mom got right to separating. Those fucking ass cheeks.

• 20:29Speaker 03

  She got right down.

• 20:32Speaker 03

  She brought Bruce home.

• 20:33Stavros Halkias?

  Bruce, classic.

• 20:35Speaker 03

  Classic, of course.

• 20:36Stavros Halkias?

  Not even stepdad, but just boyfriend, mom's boyfriend, Bruce.

• 20:39Speaker 03

  Bruce.

• 20:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 20:40Speaker 03

  So fucking nasty. I'm like, you fucking suck. You made us white trash for no reason. We were fine before this.

• 20:48Stavros Halkias?

  We were doing good.

• 20:49Speaker 03

  And now I gotta tell people who Bruce is. Why I live in a house with a gravel driveway.

• 20:53Stavros Halkias?

  Why a guy with a jean jacket is picking me up from school?

• 20:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. In like a 2003 Honda Accord. Come on. Bumper stickers all over her boyfriend's cars coexist. You fucking loser.

• 21:08Stavros Halkias?

  That's so fucking funny.

• 21:09Speaker 03

  So weird.

• 21:10Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 21:11Speaker 03

  So yeah, my mom like kinda dropped off when I was middle and high school. So they would be like, I don't understand, Emily was such a good, easy kid. But the doctors to my parents would be like, she's just really smart and unusual. Most kids are gonna be fucking around.

• 21:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  But then my parents were like, Madeline is too much.

• 21:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 21:29Speaker 03

  But I was like, normal.

• 21:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were just like, I get to, I don't have supervision.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 21:35Stavros Halkias?

  I'm 13, at maybe the most crucial age.

• 21:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:37Stavros Halkias?

  Like after like infancy, 13 is when you really gotta be looking around. Cause a kid can go some interesting ways there.

• 21:45Speaker 03

  I could have been DP'd on film.

• 21:49Speaker 03

  Luckily I was a fucking loser, so. Nothing ever happened. Hanging out too late with musical theater people. Could have been crack, could have been sucking dick for crack.

• 21:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, could have been.

• 21:58Speaker 03

  Could have been sucking dick for...

• 21:59Stavros Halkias?

  Instead of trying to suck a clearly gay guy's dick in hindsight.

• 22:04Speaker 03

  Sucking dick for, for a guy to pretend to be straight.

• 22:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:10Speaker 03

  You were so good in anything goes.

• 22:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he, he's a guy who does love his parents and doesn't want his dad to know he's gay. So he's gonna give it the old college try with Maddy.

• 22:25Speaker 03

  Here's my girlfriend. Hi. Hi. Your son's a fucking shit.

• 22:32Stavros Halkias?

  Your son's fucking awesome.

• 22:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude, he's cool. He's a cool guy.

• 22:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking hilarious. Oh, that's interesting because it's like, yeah, so and then I guess, I guess pops didn't get to separating that quickly. Did it take, did it hit him harder?

• 22:47Speaker 03

  He's, he, he was hit hard. Then he, he roamed around for a couple of years. Then I, he started dating a woman at his job. Who ended up ruining his life. I think I might have told you about it before.

• 22:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's alright.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  He married a woman named Trish.

• 23:00Stavros Halkias?

  We're let, you know what? Y- yes. Well, give us the Cliff Notes. This is also, we're gonna, we've kept you locked behind Patreon before, so. You know, you get to be on the free.

• 23:09Speaker 03

  Is this real? Is this real?

• 23:10Stavros Halkias?

  This is real, man.

• 23:17Stavros Halkias?

  You're stuck in Patreon jail. It just worked out that way.

• 23:20Speaker 03

  I'm so honored.

• 23:21Stavros Halkias?

  Well, we had a great episode with you and Jordan.

• 23:24Speaker 03

  That was so good.

• 23:24Stavros Halkias?

  But Jordan was realizing she got molested in real time.

• 23:27Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 23:28Stavros Halkias?

  And we, it kind of felt rude to put that on YouTube.

• 23:30Speaker 03

  Understood, yeah.

• 23:32Stavros Halkias?

  Like, we wanted to put that out, but it's like, damn, she's literally going through it on the couch. It was a hilarious episode. Please sign up on Patreon.

• 23:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, her mom was like, did you piss him off?

• 23:45Stavros Halkias?

  She literally realized that her tutor, that was like eight years older than her, was not a good guy.

• 23:53Speaker 03

  But the mom was like, come on over.

• 23:56Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. There was like, she had no, yeah, her mom was all.

• 24:00Speaker 04

  By the first call on that episode, she was just fully withdrawn, like.

• 24:04Stavros Halkias?

  She was just like, quiet, like, not even looking at anyone. You had a sex crime happening, you fucking loser.

• 24:14Stavros Halkias?

  It probably changed the entire course of your life.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, seriously. That's why you are who you are.

• 24:20Stavros Halkias?

  You know how your fucking life is tough now? You're succeeding, but you're not happy, no matter, no matter how many little dogs you fucking buy?

• 24:29Stavros Halkias?

  What do you think that's about? And she's like.

• 24:31Speaker 03

  It's about the tutor who put his dick in your ass.

• 24:36Speaker 03

  She's like, no, it's, uh, it's because of my own OCD.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  Okay, I have a friend who was telling me, uh, you know how you just realize stuff later on?

• 24:50Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 24:51Speaker 03

  Older guys. My friend said, uh, she's Bosnian.

• 24:54Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 24:54Speaker 03

  So she was talking to her.

• 24:55Stavros Halkias?

  Already tough.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 24:56Stavros Halkias?

  Already know, I feel like the age of consent is eleven in Bosnia, probably.

• 25:00Speaker 03

  So she goes, she's in like high school, she went to high school in Manhattan, then she told her history teacher, she's fifteen, she's like, "My cousin just got married, she's twelve." And the teacher goes, "Damn, I should move to Bosnia."

• 25:15Stavros Halkias?

  Even as a joke, as an educator, like that's a joke you make with your friends.

• 25:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:21Stavros Halkias?

  Like, we can make that joke with the cameras off.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah, yeah.

• 25:25Stavros Halkias?

  But a teacher, but yeah, we can do it on Patreon, but a teacher being like.

• 25:30Speaker 03

  Teacher to a student, hmm, you got me thinking.

• 25:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 25:34Speaker 03

  So fucked up.

• 25:35Stavros Halkias?

  Like, like, the only thing, it's interesting to be a pedophile that just really abides by the laws. That's like, look, the second they change the law, I'm in there, but, you know, yeah.

• 25:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's fucking wild.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  Hilarious.

• 25:51Stavros Halkias?

  I know, it is funny to think about, like, just go through your past and just, how many people felt unfathomably old to you? When you're a kid?

• 26:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:00Stavros Halkias?

  And they were like twenty-three years old. They were like twenty-five.

• 26:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're like this, this old hat.

• 26:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I still remember, I still wonder what our, what that teacher we were in love with when we were in second grade. Remember that student teacher?

• 26:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:16Stavros Halkias?

  She was probably like twenty years old.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  Probably, yeah.

• 26:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:19Stavros Halkias?

  We were like, we were like seven.

• 26:19Speaker 04

  Probably twenty-four or something.

• 26:21Stavros Halkias?

  So she's probably in range, dude.

• 26:23Speaker 03

  She definitely knows my mom.

• 26:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:27Stavros Halkias?

  I do love those like little kid ass crushes where it's like.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  Me too.

• 26:30Stavros Halkias?

  You don't, you don't know what fucking is, it's not, it's not sexual, but it is romantic.

• 26:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:36Stavros Halkias?

  Where you're like, I wanna kiss her on the lips and like, hold her hand.

• 26:39Speaker 03

  Honestly, the most romantic a man has ever, it was.

• 26:43Stavros Halkias?

  A little nine-year-old boy.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  Oh, how my heart aches for you, Mrs. Johnson.

• 26:50Stavros Halkias?

  You're right. You're right. They're basically lesbians. They're basically like little lesbians.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  They're like, oh, the way the birds chirp, just pulling my heartstrings.

• 26:59Stavros Halkias?

  Writing valentines. I literally like wrote poems.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  Poems.

• 27:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, to get rejected.

• 27:03Speaker 03

  And now they're like, oh, can you come over? I'm allergic to latex.

• 27:06Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, what's up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm allergic to latex. I'm vegan, so lambskin won't work either.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, sorry.

• 27:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and oh, fuck, I just realized I gotta be up at 5 a.m. tomorrow. You better leave.

• 27:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's just for me.

• 27:20Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, now.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  Yeah. Bye!

• 27:26Speaker 03

  You at nine years old. Oh, how the earth spins, only for you.

• 27:31Stavros Halkias?

  I would, I wouldn't give for just one more moment, one glance at those lips as they part.

• 27:38Speaker 03

  The lips as they part, the blue of your eyes.

• 27:43Stavros Halkias?

  Now you're like.

• 27:44Speaker 03

  Where can I come?

• 27:46Stavros Halkias?

  Where can I come? Oh! So what's going on? Are you like seeing anybody?

• 27:53Speaker 03

  Oh, we? We?

• 27:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, we're friends.

• 27:57Speaker 03

  Fuck, dude. Did not see that coming.

• 27:59Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, dude, you're being weird.

• 28:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, so weird. I love that, though. I love how weird you are.

• 28:05Stavros Halkias?

  So weird. Hold on, wait a second. Yeah, just wait until the refractory period ends and then they're like, oh, actually, um, yeah, you're cool.

• 28:13Speaker 03

  They always do that. They always wait. And they're like, hey, missing you.

• 28:24Speaker 03

  Or the opposite. Yeah, I, I, I've been with guys who are like trying to court me relationship-wise. I like you, I like you, I like you. Then I end up, it ends up not working or whatever.

• 28:34Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 28:34Speaker 03

  A few months later, they throw a hail mary text that's something like filthy.

• 28:38Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 28:39Speaker 03

  Like, man, I wish you didn't stop talking to me. I would have fucked the shit out of you.

• 28:42Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, out of nowhere, just a nice person.

• 28:44Speaker 03

  Out of nowhere, just going through their contacts, horny. Oh, I forgot my money.

• 28:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, why not? I mean, she's not gonna fuck me. What's she gonna do? Not fuck me more?

• 28:53Stavros Halkias?

  What's she gonna do? Fuck me less than zero?

• 28:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, so, there you go.

• 28:57Stavros Halkias?

  Let me see those tits, you fucking whore. I knew you secretly wanted it. Send. Just playing Playstation.

• 29:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:08Stavros Halkias?

  Just being like, send that copy and paste that to five women that rejected him and he's like.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  I wish you didn't reject me, I would have put my cock in your mouth.

• 29:16Stavros Halkias?

  Hopefully a guy they actually loved destroyed them and now they're feeling so bad about themselves that they're willing to fuck me. As a form of self-flagellation.

• 29:28Stavros Halkias?

  And if not, I'm gonna keep Red Dead Redemption rolling.

• 29:32Speaker 03

  Hey, are you guys there?

• 29:38Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 29:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that hail mary's hilarious. You cannot, fellas, don't do that.

• 29:43Speaker 03

  It's hilarious.

• 29:44Stavros Halkias?

  It's never worked.

• 29:45Speaker 03

  The last text was like, the text before.

• 29:47Stavros Halkias?

  I totally get it.

• 29:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:49Stavros Halkias?

  We're in different places right now.

• 29:51Speaker 03

  So respectful. Please let me know I had such a good time with you.

• 29:55Stavros Halkias?

  If anything changes, reach out. You know, I still would love to see Wicked.

• 30:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, something like, we still gotta do that Peyton sip.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  You know, and then like, three months later, like, tits?

• 30:13Stavros Halkias?

  Show me that hole, whore.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  Up tonight?

• 30:19Stavros Halkias?

  That is fucking wild.

• 30:21Speaker 03

  Freak show.

• 30:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you gotta, you gotta stick with whatever you start with. Or you can gradually, yeah.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  You got that dog in you that, you can't put that dog down.

• 30:32Stavros Halkias?

  I know.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  Or gradually, yeah, keep hitting them up.

• 30:35Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 30:35Speaker 03

  Like, kinda lightly.

• 30:36Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:37Stavros Halkias?

  The light hit up, whatever, trying to, you know, trying to like, but it's the immediate, like, the crazy vibe shift.

• 30:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:46Stavros Halkias?

  You can't do, it's never gonna work.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:49Stavros Halkias?

  It's never gonna work.

• 30:50Speaker 03

  Or, uh, nice, nice, nice, nice, and then you're like, and then they're like, slut.

• 30:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's, that's classic stuff. That's like, come on, dude. That's like, not even, like, I actually respect the hail mary more than that.

• 31:02Speaker 03

  Me too.

• 31:02Stavros Halkias?

  Cause that's like, well, it's like, they've done the math, they know the hail mary's probably not gonna work, and they're like, instead of this 1% chance of pussy, how about 100% chance of making myself feel better by calling someone a whore?

• 31:16Speaker 03

  Exactly. Yeah, 100%.

• 31:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:19Speaker 03

  And you know it feels good for them.

• 31:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:20Speaker 03

  I get messages all the time. They call me a whore, slut, fucking cocksucker. It's crazy. I'm like a little lady.

• 31:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  I'm at home, oh, I'm trying this New York Times recipe. I'm like, I'm like, a little intellectual, playing the piano, and I open my phone, spread it wider. I'm like, dude, would you talk to Maya Angelou like that? I'm like, come on, little lady, whatever.

• 31:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:51Speaker 03

  But I don't know, I guess, if you make, it's the hard thing where it's like, you know how Amy Schumer got, Amy Schumer, one time someone came up to her and was like, roasted her on a video? And she was like, don't do that.

• 32:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 32:01Speaker 03

  Like, what's, what's allowed, what's, I don't know, like, I'm very confused what's allowed, because like, I say a lot of jokes, so I'm like-

• 32:07Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, it's, strangers asking to see your pussy is not allowed.

• 32:11Speaker 03

  Okay, word, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.

• 32:13Stavros Halkias?

  You've been gaslit by society so much, you're like, maybe it's me.

• 32:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then people are like, well, what, well, think about it, what kind of comedy are you putting out there? And my comedy is like, I hate men.

• 32:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 32:25Speaker 03

  If you watch the whole set, it's not, you know.

• 32:27Stavros Halkias?

  But even if you were, it's like-

• 32:30Speaker 03

  And even if you-

• 32:30Stavros Halkias?

  They don't know you.

• 32:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:32Stavros Halkias?

  They don't know you personally. It's like, and like, somebody coming up and roasting you, or like, somebody coming up in like, your private time, like, putting a camera on you, never-

• 32:41Speaker 03

  Right.

• 32:41Stavros Halkias?

  Like, they shouldn't do that.

• 32:42Speaker 03

  Cause stand up's under the context of ticket, ticket pair performer.

• 32:47Stavros Halkias?

  And even the like, if you get famous, like, I feel bad for people who are truly famous.

• 32:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:52Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it's like, they don't have a moment to themselves.

• 32:54Speaker 03

  I know.

• 32:55Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, okay, you could be like, that's, they should expect that, it's like, yeah, but you could also not be a piece of shit.

• 33:01Speaker 03

  Oh, great.

• 33:02Stavros Halkias?

  You could even just kinda like, there's people who, I've, I saw fucking Keith for Sutherland, I didn't stop him and go, dude, Lost Boys through 24, you're the man, brother, wanna get a fucking brewski?

• 33:14Speaker 03

  Fire. I gotta get a video with me, my fucking girlfriend loves you, so just stand right there, can you sign this too?

• 33:21Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, it's like, be like, hey, what's up, a quick what's up. But it's just like, yeah, you don't deserve to be, even po- po- like, that's the thing, even, even too much positive attention-

• 33:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:32Stavros Halkias?

  For people that are just trying to like, you know, if you're like, super famous, that could probably wear you down.

• 33:38Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:38Stavros Halkias?

  Let, no one should just get negative attention for no reason.

• 33:41Speaker 03

  Right.

• 33:42Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking rude.

• 33:42Speaker 03

  Right.

• 33:43Stavros Halkias?

  Like, what if someone did that to, you shouldn't just go up to someone and be like, you're a fucking piece of shit.

• 33:47Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:48Stavros Halkias?

  It's rude, but then especially when we get to like- Sexually explicit shit.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  Right.

• 33:53Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's like, no.

• 33:54Speaker 03

  That's a lot.

• 33:55Stavros Halkias?

  There's no argument there at all.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  Okay, word. Alright, I wasn't sure. Really, it took me like years to be like, I think this is weird. I think it was kinda weird. And, yeah, I mean, I am, I am on Wild and Out, like, Nick, put your,

• 34:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:11Speaker 03

  I'll let you put your cannon in me.

• 34:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:15Speaker 03

  Maybe it's definitely, I mean, it's definitely like maybe a black dude thing.

• 34:18Stavros Halkias?

  Not just, but definitely, you know.

• 34:21Speaker 03

  I'm trying to like,

• 34:21Stavros Halkias?

  You're probably fetishized on that show too.

• 34:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:24Stavros Halkias?

  There's people who are like, oh, this is the one white girl that I have a relationship with.

• 34:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:29Stavros Halkias?

  You know, where it's like, I mean, anytime people are familiar with you from something, they do, there is a sense of familiarity.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, they, everyone thinks they know you.

• 34:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, podcasting is truly the worst.

• 34:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:39Stavros Halkias?

  Where it's like, they, they'll like, come up to me and like, say something that I like, dude, I have no, I, I don't respect podcasting. I said a joke eight years ago.

• 34:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:49Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember that, man. And they're like, yeah, right, dude. Why are you a fucking bitch, dude? You're so fake in real life. It's like, I'm, sorry, man. But I do like when people like, I love, like, it feels good when people are like, I love, like, cause I want, that's, you put shit out there, cause you want people to like it.

• 35:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, you don't wanna, not, it does feel good.

• 35:08Stavros Halkias?

  But it's like, give me a pound.

• 35:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's it. Hey, big fan.

• 35:12Stavros Halkias?

  Big fan. That feels, that's the best, that's the best one of all. But, yeah, I mean, luckily, I don't get very sexually harassed, or if I do, it's welcome.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  Do you get all, uh, girls DMing you up?

• 35:23Stavros Halkias?

  I'll get some DMs, yeah. I mean, I'll get gay guys too.

• 35:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:26Stavros Halkias?

  Um, but yeah, I would, you know, it'd be interesting to get on Wild and Out, maybe get some black girls DMing me for a change, that'd be nice.

• 35:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:33Stavros Halkias?

  You know?

• 35:34Speaker 03

  That'd be fun.

• 35:35Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, cause it is, like I said, like, I did, you know, most of my high school beating off was to black girls.

• 35:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:40Stavros Halkias?

  Cause that's all my, that's all your classmates.

• 35:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:42Stavros Halkias?

  You know, it's like, you wanna fuck the people you're in school with.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  Right, so it makes sense, yeah.

• 35:47Stavros Halkias?

  So it's like, you know, maybe I need, maybe I do need to audition for Wild and Out.

• 35:50Speaker 03

  Maybe, yeah.

• 35:50Stavros Halkias?

  You know, maybe this is the year. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:53Speaker 03

  Maybe you could do like a collab with Angel Reese or something?

• 35:55Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, from Baltimore.

• 35:57Speaker 03

  She is?

• 35:58Stavros Halkias?

  She's from Baltimore, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:59Speaker 03

  Perfect.

• 36:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 03

  Boom.

• 36:02Stavros Halkias?

  It sounds like I'm her type. I think she was like, I need to date a basketball player that's over 6'8".

• 36:07Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:08Stavros Halkias?

  So it sounds like she's kind of, she would be, she's also like,

• 36:11Speaker 03

  She would?

• 36:11Stavros Halkias?

  What, 15 year, 20 years younger than me?

• 36:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:15Stavros Halkias?

  No, not 20.

• 36:16Speaker 03

  It's sick as fuck.

• 36:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Not 20, we're not in Bosnia.

• 36:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. What is she, 23 or something?

• 36:22Stavros Halkias?

  Probably something.

• 36:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay.

• 36:23Stavros Halkias?

  You know?

• 36:23Speaker 03

  Fuck it, I went to Baltimore this weekend, I was at the Goobies.

• 36:26Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you were at the Goobies? How'd you feel, how'd you like it?

• 36:29Speaker 03

  I got a little new backdrop.

• 36:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:31Speaker 03

  Modernized it.

• 36:32Stavros Halkias?

  They went art deco with it.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  They always do, they always do. New green room, like beige walls.

• 36:37Stavros Halkias?

  I love that they were like, we need to change something, and it's not the name, Magoobies.

• 36:42Speaker 03

  Or the location.

• 36:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:47Speaker 03

  The backdrop.

• 36:48Stavros Halkias?

  The backdrop.

• 36:48Speaker 03

  I like the old back. I hate when people take their old school backdrops away.

• 36:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:51Speaker 03

  I like them.

• 36:52Stavros Halkias?

  Not to be too sanitized, although I do like, it's pretty, it does look pretty good. I actually did some shows there over Chris, like Christmas break.

• 36:59Speaker 03

  It's not, it's pretty good, huh?

• 37:00Stavros Halkias?

  I got, I want, my goal is to get them to put a bathroom in the green room.

• 37:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:05Stavros Halkias?

  And I want it named the Stavros Halkias Memorial Bathroom.

• 37:07Speaker 03

  Okay, word.

• 37:08Stavros Halkias?

  I want my, I want like a bronze.

• 37:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think you have to serve a memorial bathroom.

• 37:14Speaker 03

  And everyone has to call it that every time they go to the bathroom. Hey, where are you? I'm in the Stavros Halkias Memorial Bathroom.

• 37:21Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah. Um, yeah, that, it is so funny. There's just the desperation of a man who's been, like, I have definitely been there being like, there's some key to sh, I just have to unlock it.

• 37:34Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 37:34Stavros Halkias?

  If I send the perfect message,

• 37:37Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 37:37Stavros Halkias?

  I can't fuck this woman. And it's like, if you're doing that, it's over, fellas. Just take it from all of us. We've all been there. It's never gonna, it's never gonna happen. Move, move forward.

• 37:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:49Stavros Halkias?

  It, you, leave with some dignity, that's all I can tell you.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  Leave, cause those texts are there.

• 37:54Stavros Halkias?

  And that's why ghosting exists also.

• 37:56Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 37:57Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, it's like you've, but when you feel the vibes not going your way, You can make one last stand, one valiant last stand, but if you get cancelled on a couple of times in a row.

• 38:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:09Stavros Halkias?

  Don't keep.

• 38:10Speaker 03

  You're cooked.

• 38:11Stavros Halkias?

  I remember when I first moved to New York, I went on a date with a girl. And it was shockingly pretty good, like I had no self esteem. It's like when you first move to New York, you have no self esteem whatsoever.

• 38:21Speaker 03

  Left and right.

• 38:22Stavros Halkias?

  It was brutal.

• 38:23Speaker 03

  Fucking dudes blackout.

• 38:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I definitely fucked some atrocious women that I, that I in hindsight, it was like, I wanted nothing to do with, but I was like, this girl was cool. She was like, she was like half Greek. We had like, we had like a little something going. Um, and again, you know when you're on a date and you're like, I can't believe, and she was hot. I was like, I can't believe I'm doing well. Like, this is crazy.

• 38:45Speaker 03

  Waiting for the big drop.

• 38:47Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like, what's gonna happen?

• 38:48Speaker 03

  I'm trans.

• 38:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, which hey.

• 38:49Speaker 03

  Hey, bring it on.

• 38:50Stavros Halkias?

  If she looked like that and was trans.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  Love it.

• 38:56Stavros Halkias?

  She had a, as long as her dick was littler than mine.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's all that matters. That's all that matters. Put it up side by side.

• 39:04Stavros Halkias?

  Which now that I'm thinking would be kinda tough, but maybe the hormones shrink it. I don't know how that works.

• 39:09Speaker 03

  I really don't know how it works.

• 39:10Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know what they do.

• 39:11Speaker 03

  Do the hormones shrink it? I have no idea.

• 39:12Stavros Halkias?

  What if they make it bigger? Estrogen plumps up your lips and tits. What does it do to your dick?

• 39:22Speaker 03

  Oh, here we go.

• 39:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, here we go.

• 39:23Speaker 03

  It does shrink.

• 39:24Stavros Halkias?

  It does shrink. Oh, interesting.

• 39:25Speaker 03

  Without T in your system.

• 39:27Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, T makes your cock hard.

• 39:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:29Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I did have some, I did have some blood tests come back and I am on the lower end of the normal range of T.

• 39:35Speaker 03

  Uh oh.

• 39:36Stavros Halkias?

  So.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Oh, boy.

• 39:37Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe I need a T, maybe I need to fucking, maybe I need to get on that Mark Zuckerberg.

• 39:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:41Stavros Halkias?

  Now I'm fucking badass. He's clearly on T. It's crazy. I've never seen a man, a man more on testosterone in my life.

• 39:49Speaker 03

  And like, he went from like noob to.

• 39:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  Albanian?

• 39:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for real. It's so fucking pathetic. These guys, it's like, why can't nerds just be? It's like you, I can't believe we're losing, I can't believe the, our overlords are fucking dork losers.

• 40:06Speaker 03

  I can't believe our overlords are dork losers.

• 40:09Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, in the medieval times, great warriors. would like come through Alexander the Great would come through a village. His soldiers would behead your your priest. They would all fuck everyone. They would take whatever they wanted. These guys are just like stealing your data slowly.

• 40:26Speaker 03

  But getting jacked in a fake way.

• 40:29Stavros Halkias?

  Getting jacked. They'll probably have a standing army soon. Like, like, you know, I think more people should go Luigi mode. Uh, and when that starts to happen, when when they start taking this, taking out CEOs that are ruining our lives. They're gonna start getting their own armies. They're gonna have militias. We're gonna be fucked, honestly.

• 40:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:48Stavros Halkias?

  But if enough Luigi's are out there.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  I feel like there could be.

• 40:52Stavros Halkias?

  We could stop this. We can stem the tide.

• 40:53Speaker 03

  I think there could be. People are feeling pretty anarchist right now.

• 40:56Stavros Halkias?

  Like, if you have a a a um, terminal disease.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, take one for the team.

• 41:04Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not gonna tell you what to do for the record. I'm not suggesting anything.

• 41:09Speaker 03

  Doctor says you have a few months.

• 41:12Speaker 03

  I got eyes on.

• 41:14Stavros Halkias?

  Just something to think about. I'm not even gonna, I'm not even gonna tell you what.

• 41:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:18Stavros Halkias?

  But just something to think about.

• 41:19Speaker 03

  Who would you, okay, doctor says you had, think about, well, obviously, you know, take your meds and stuff, but think. Reflect, how do you want the world to look when you go?

• 41:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:28Speaker 03

  Okay, who would you, who would you pin?

• 41:30Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I don't know.

• 41:31Speaker 03

  Maybe that president of SAG.

• 41:35Stavros Halkias?

  Maddy's anti-union. He's like, we need, we live.

• 41:41Speaker 03

  How dare you? How you dare you make a distinction between non-union and union work? It's all the same.

• 41:49Stavros Halkias?

  Too many years on Wild and Out.

• 41:51Speaker 03

  Over it.

• 41:54Speaker 03

  Over it. Yeah, I'm killing SAG.

• 41:56Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, Nick Cannon doesn't have a union shop. I'm scared. I'm shocked.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, stay scared.

• 42:04Stavros Halkias?

  Isn't the president of SAG Fran Drescher?

• 42:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, it is, I think, right?

• 42:08Stavros Halkias?

  So you would kill Fran Drescher?

• 42:11Speaker 03

  Boom, down with one. Oh, my God.

• 42:15Stavros Halkias?

  Ow!

• 42:16Speaker 03

  Ow!

• 42:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's her.

• 42:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, it is. Cool.

• 42:20Stavros Halkias?

  Salute the friend.

• 42:21Speaker 03

  Well, they picked me up with their uh-

• 42:22Stavros Halkias?

  She's too sexy for me to kill.

• 42:23Speaker 03

  She's hot.

• 42:24Stavros Halkias?

  I know.

• 42:24Speaker 03

  Her outfit's back in the day.

• 42:26Stavros Halkias?

  The nanny, honestly, definitely, I watched a lot of, that was randomly a sitcom I watched a lot as a kid.

• 42:32Speaker 03

  Randomly?

• 42:33Stavros Halkias?

  And, yeah, and in hindsight, it's like, I wanted to fuck with it.

• 42:36Speaker 03

  Oh, Miss Fran.

• 42:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Oh, if I could only share a sunset with you, nanny.

• 42:42Speaker 03

  Nanny. Oh, the nanny.

• 42:45Stavros Halkias?

  If only you were mine, nanny.

• 42:47Speaker 03

  She had great outfits.

• 42:47Stavros Halkias?

  I would listen, no matter what. Yeah, I mean, loud, loud, annoying girls that dress stupid.

• 42:54Speaker 03

  Like, I love that.

• 42:55Stavros Halkias?

  Sign me the fuck up. Sign me up.

• 42:58Speaker 03

  Very intriguing to me.

• 43:01Stavros Halkias?

  Intriguing to you, are you, are you fully straight? What are we working with?

• 43:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:05Stavros Halkias?

  Would you fuck one of these chicks?

• 43:06Speaker 03

  I, I hooked up with a couple and nah, pass.

• 43:09Stavros Halkias?

  Just not for you?

• 43:10Speaker 03

  Yeah. Tell you that much. This is how I felt about vagina. I was like, feels like my vagina. I don't, I wasn't really like, oh!

• 43:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:20Speaker 03

  I like a dick. I have a dick, you know?

• 43:23Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 43:23Speaker 03

  I have a dick.

• 43:24Stavros Halkias?

  It is the most open-minded thing to just be like, yeah, I fucked a couple, it wasn't for me.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:29Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, nobody, everybody acts like, it would, it's insane to do some gay shit, like.

• 43:34Speaker 03

  I feel like, if you're, if you're on the world, on the earth for eighty, ninety years.

• 43:39Stavros Halkias?

  You're not gonna do any gay shit. You're not gonna do any gay shit.

• 43:42Speaker 03

  No one's gonna kill you.

• 43:43Stavros Halkias?

  It's great.

• 43:44Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, depends where you are, but, yeah.

• 43:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we're getting to that point again.

• 43:47Speaker 03

  But, eh, eh, like, I don't know, humanity, we should just be like, fucking and sucking each other off, like, just to see what's up.

• 43:53Stavros Halkias?

  Every, like, I mean, ancient societies were sucking and fucking. They had, they probably didn't have, like, you know, they had some version of, like, people that were in-between genders, you know what I mean?

• 44:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, they definitely did. There's gay men drawings of like-

• 44:08Speaker 03

  Like, a RuPaul kinda, Dylan Mulvaney.

• 44:13Speaker 03

  Definitely has always been around.

• 44:15Stavros Halkias?

  And there like there was like, you know, there's some like native native like Native American and like where there was like a type there. They basically had like a question mark gender.

• 44:24Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 44:24Stavros Halkias?

  Where it's like a dude who's kind of

• 44:26Speaker 03

  Right.

• 44:26Stavros Halkias?

  Like a woman.

• 44:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:27Stavros Halkias?

  And they're like, you don't go hunting. You chill with the chicks.

• 44:31Speaker 03

  You chill with the chicks.

• 44:32Stavros Halkias?

  And Albania has that type of like, uh, lesbian.

• 44:36Speaker 04

  The Burnesha.

• 44:37Stavros Halkias?

  The Burnesha.

• 44:38Speaker 03

  And it's a guy, it's a guy.

• 44:39Stavros Halkias?

  It's chicks that just like guys.

• 44:41Speaker 03

  It's like, yeah, they butch it up.

• 44:44Stavros Halkias?

  Burnesha.

• 44:44Speaker 04

  It's like, it's like women who basically present as men, like, you know, in terms of like social function or whatever.

• 44:51Stavros Halkias?

  Like your classic, like, like masked lesbian.

• 44:55Speaker 04

  It's, it's usually like.

• 44:56Stavros Halkias?

  Your classic stud.

• 44:57Speaker 04

  It's usually like, there's like not a man in the family to like protect, uh,

• 45:02Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 45:03Speaker 04

  Somebody's gotta step up. Like they're, you know, they're.

• 45:05Stavros Halkias?

  Someone's gotta butch up. Look at these ladies.

• 45:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:07Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 45:08Stavros Halkias?

  Or these fellas, whatever.

• 45:09Speaker 03

  Love that. I would not mind visiting the Balkans someday.

• 45:13Stavros Halkias?

  Tangle with a Burnesha.

• 45:14Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 45:15Stavros Halkias?

  Would you like to get your pussy eaten by a Burnesha?

• 45:18Speaker 03

  I bet she does it nasty. She's sucking on that thing.

• 45:28Stavros Halkias?

  Keep the sound and just blur out what Maddy was doing.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:32Stavros Halkias?

  Let that go. Let it be to everyone's imagination.

• 45:37Speaker 03

  Oh, Miss Nina.

• 45:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. So, but we say, anyway, I guess, would you give it another go for prime friend dresser?

• 45:49Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I mean, uh, sure.

• 45:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:51Speaker 03

  I would pull, I would pull through, but

• 45:53Stavros Halkias?

  But it's not your thing.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  She's hot too, but the idea of like sliding my hand into her panting doesn't really, makes me sink in my head. I'm like, can't wait for this to end.

• 46:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 46:04Speaker 03

  But if I see a hot dude, I think about putting my, I'm like.

• 46:06Stavros Halkias?

  Right, nice. Let's get, let's honk on that prick.

• 46:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's more of an indifferent vibe about the chicks.

• 46:12Stavros Halkias?

  So even if they were hot as hell, you'd just be indifferent?

• 46:15Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah.

• 46:16Stavros Halkias?

  You would get indifferent?

• 46:17Speaker 03

  I think I would still be aroused, but I wouldn't be like excited, like touching her parts.

• 46:22Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I also think like women are just visually more stimul- like.

• 46:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, they can like.

• 46:26Stavros Halkias?

  Cause what you just said for me and a hot guy does not, I'm not like, well, if a guy's hot enough, it's at least stimulating, even though I don't wanna grab his cock. I just don't want to do that.

• 46:36Speaker 03

  But, but the female figure is just.

• 46:39Stavros Halkias?

  Fran Drescher back in the day, 90's Fran Drescher.

• 46:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:43Stavros Halkias?

  With some fucking, some highlighter pink sequin. Get in there dude, come on. Yeah, the boa, little sunglasses.

• 46:50Speaker 03

  Short skirt.

• 46:52Stavros Halkias?

  There's an episode where, uh, I think, um, Costanza is like a guest star and he dates her briefly and I cling on to those pictures. I love looking at the pictures of her.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  Let's see.

• 47:03Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis, pull him up. I mean, it's like, you didn't think this was gonna come up? When I was saying it?

• 47:09Speaker 04

  He doesn't even fucking know.

• 47:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's just, he's just Googling Fran Drescher nanny, hoping one of these pictures is what I was talking about.

• 47:19Speaker 03

  And the one time he was on for 10 minutes.

• 47:22Stavros Halkias?

  Fran Drescher nanny and, uh, what the fuck is his name?

• 47:26Speaker 03

  She does kinda look like.

• 47:27Stavros Halkias?

  What's his real, Jason Alexander?

• 47:29Speaker 03

  Sarah squirm, Sarah squirm a little bit.

• 47:31Stavros Halkias?

  Let's relax.

• 47:32Speaker 03

  Bruh.

• 47:33Stavros Halkias?

  Sarah, Sarah does not look like Fran Drescher. Just cause they dress stupid, doesn't mean she looks like, and I love Sarah, but.

• 47:42Speaker 03

  Sorry, I didn't mean to.

• 47:43Stavros Halkias?

  No, you know what? You're probably right.

• 47:44Speaker 03

  Right there on the left.

• 47:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, it's right there, dude. He, he still doesn't know. We told him what to Google. He didn't know which one to fucking, like this is, and the other one go, the other one where he's wearing glass, sunglasses? That's me dude.

• 47:58Speaker 03

  That's you.

• 47:59Stavros Halkias?

  That's like, that's what I want my life to be like.

• 48:01Speaker 03

  Who's your crush these days?

• 48:04Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. I'm open to developing one. Some Friends dresser style type bitch, that's what I want. That's exactly on my vision board right there, man. That's. Although, is he playing a blind guy?

• 48:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, it looks like it, right?

• 48:17Stavros Halkias?

  I thought he had sunglasses because he was cool, but I guess he's playing a blind guy.

• 48:19Speaker 03

  But we can look at it. I mean, the dog indicates that maybe it's a blind thing.

• 48:22Stavros Halkias?

  Well, either way, I don't want to go blind, but I would like to end up with a woman with hair like this.

• 48:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:28Stavros Halkias?

  Who's like, like Fred Drescher and then also, um, good god, Marisa Tomei and.

• 48:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:34Stavros Halkias?

  My Cousin Vinny.

• 48:35Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 48:35Stavros Halkias?

  That might be.

• 48:37Speaker 03

  Her outfits, fire.

• 48:38Stavros Halkias?

  And her attitude.

• 48:39Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 48:39Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking annoying Italian attitude.

• 48:41Speaker 03

  And she's like, you're stupid.

• 48:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 48:44Speaker 03

  This is why the cork is.

• 48:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want my sexy, my sexy, you know, attitude wife to be chewing gum at me so loud. Pissed off because I brought home the wrong can of tomatoes.

• 48:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's all I fucking dream. That's what I'm dreaming of.

• 49:00Speaker 03

  Pissed off hot wife.

• 49:01Stavros Halkias?

  She's like, shut the fuck up.

• 49:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:02Stavros Halkias?

  She's like, what did you say?

• 49:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:04Stavros Halkias?

  Nothing.

• 49:05Speaker 03

  That's funny. That's what I thought.

• 49:11Speaker 04

  You gotta watch Anora stuff. That's like two hours of that.

• 49:14Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:15Stavros Halkias?

  I do have to see Anora, you're right. And that girl's so hot, too.

• 49:17Speaker 03

  She's hot. That's a hot bitch.

• 49:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 49:19Speaker 03

  I love a hot white bitch who you're like, is she like something else, too?

• 49:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's got a little something going on. But I looked at, I haven't seen Anora, but I'm like, what, what style of woman do I want to fuck? I'm just doing research. I think she's just like a Jewish girl from LA, I believe.

• 49:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, Mikey Madison.

• 49:34Stavros Halkias?

  Still.

• 49:35Speaker 03

  Fine.

• 49:35Stavros Halkias?

  Very hot. Good actor, too, but also, you know.

• 49:39Speaker 03

  Fine as fuck.

• 49:40Stavros Halkias?

  She's so sexy.

• 49:41Speaker 03

  I'd be a good actor if I was hot as shit.

• 49:44Speaker 03

  I'll play anything.

• 49:47Speaker 03

  Makes a difference. Everything seems really easy when you're hot as fuck. Summer, summer when you're hot?

• 49:54Stavros Halkias?

  Summer when you're sexy?

• 49:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:55Stavros Halkias?

  You just wear barely any clothes?

• 49:57Speaker 03

  Seems great.

• 49:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, totally.

• 49:58Speaker 03

  Bikini? I gotta think about where all my parts are gonna sit.

• 50:02Stavros Halkias?

  Right, and the pale must be hard in the summer. What, what's the?

• 50:06Speaker 03

  It's not good.

• 50:07Stavros Halkias?

  What's the most tan you could possibly get?

• 50:09Speaker 03

  Like, I don't. It goes from like, just red and then freckles.

• 50:15Stavros Halkias?

  You just freckle up?

• 50:15Speaker 03

  I guess there's times where I get so many freckles that it kinda ends up looking like a little orangey.

• 50:19Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure.

• 50:20Speaker 03

  But no tanning, so I look like shit on the beach.

• 50:23Stavros Halkias?

  You can't get tanner than this, is what you're saying?

• 50:24Speaker 03

  Correct, yeah.

• 50:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's crazy.

• 50:26Speaker 03

  Like this, like my stomach's like this. And like, on the beach, it's like ten minutes in, burning.

• 50:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that sucks. Yeah, cuz I do get-

• 50:34Speaker 03

  I'm pale, and like, pale is not attractive.

• 50:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and then the wintertime is like a, there's definitely a, you know, pale can be attractive, but it's like, summer is not pale time.

• 50:45Speaker 03

  No, it's not.

• 50:45Stavros Halkias?

  It's gotta be fall.

• 50:46Speaker 03

  It's very jarring.

• 50:47Stavros Halkias?

  When it's or- it's like, you gotta kinda match your color palette.

• 50:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, you do.

• 50:51Stavros Halkias?

  When the leaves are falling, that's when you're-

• 50:52Speaker 03

  I'm like, mm.

• 50:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's when stock is up.

• 50:55Speaker 03

  But-

• 50:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's when you gotta trap one of these fellas.

• 50:58Speaker 03

  I gotta get like, yeah, tan coat, ankle boot.

• 51:01Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally, totally.

• 51:02Speaker 03

  Browns, reds, oranges.

• 51:04Stavros Halkias?

  And then, yeah, you know how people like go somewhere warm for like the winter? You need to do the opposite.

• 51:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, go somewhere cold for the winter.

• 51:11Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta go to Australia in the fucking summer.

• 51:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, Australia.

• 51:14Stavros Halkias?

  And go through the winter over there.

• 51:16Speaker 03

  Russia. Hang out there, come back here in the win- just do full one hundred percent winter.

• 51:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 51:22Speaker 03

  Year round, yeah.

• 51:22Stavros Halkias?

  I'm assuming, so is your fa- like, is your, are your parents like Irish, or where the fuck is this coming from?

• 51:27Speaker 03

  Irish, Scottish.

• 51:28Stavros Halkias?

  Irish, Scottish.

• 51:29Speaker 03

  Irish, Scottish. My dad, uh, my dad grew up on a dairy farm.

• 51:33Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 51:33Speaker 03

  Bunch of Irish kids, twelve kids.

• 51:36Stavros Halkias?

  Twelve kids on a dairy farm, where?

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Upstate, Buffalo, yeah, sorry.

• 51:41Stavros Halkias?

  Sorry, yeah, this is gonna come out in like, April.

• 51:47Speaker 03

  I'm sorry.

• 51:49Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know what you're talking about. Ravens didn't just lose to the Buffalo Bills?

• 51:56Speaker 03

  It's friggin' Easter, dude.

• 51:57Stavros Halkias?

  It's Easter, idiot. Come see the Dreamboat Tour, which is in the, we're in the middle of it right now.

• 52:02Speaker 03

  Right now, yeah.

• 52:03Stavros Halkias?

  We actually should start plugging the tour more. I just realized we've been recording all the episodes for it and we haven't plugged it one time.

• 52:10Speaker 03

  When's it start officially?

• 52:11Stavros Halkias?

  Um, it has already begun, obviously. It started back in February.

• 52:14Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 52:15Stavros Halkias?

  Started back February 21st in Wheatland. Boy, those shows were magic, weren't they, Aldous?

• 52:21Speaker 03

  I remember you telling me they were so good.

• 52:23Speaker 04

  Bakersfield was fucking epic.

• 52:25Stavros Halkias?

  No, that one, that one's looking rough. You know, yes, fuck. We can't plug it because it's probably already happened, but yeah, no one's buying tickets to fucking Bakersfield, but whatever. Fuck that town. I don't give a fuck about Bakersfield.

• 52:38Speaker 03

  L.A. has all those random little towns around it. What are we doing?

• 52:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we did too much around. And I, I'm, I'm open to talk about it because it's past now and, you know, all those other shows except Bakersfield were great, as we all remember. Damn Dairy Farm with that many motherfuckers, that's crazy.

• 52:55Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. They were like, my dad would have to wake up, go out, work, go to school.

• 52:59Stavros Halkias?

  What did he do? What did he end up doing?

• 53:01Speaker 03

  For his job?

• 53:02Stavros Halkias?

  For his actual job?

• 53:04Speaker 03

  Trucking management. Like managing truck drivers at FedEx and freight, like freight.

• 53:10Stavros Halkias?

  I see. Logistics.

• 53:11Speaker 03

  Logistics, operations management, yeah. Like, he worked on a dock when he was like 19.

• 53:17Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 53:18Speaker 03

  And then his dad died and then I think he was like, I think, he wanted to be a history teacher and then he was like, oh god, oh god.

• 53:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 53:26Speaker 03

  So he just worked at FedEx for 50 years.

• 53:28Stavros Halkias?

  Damn. FedEx for 50 years and then your mom ruined his life and then another lady ruined his life? Did he ever get it back?

• 53:35Speaker 03

  Now he's, you know.

• 53:38Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds like no.

• 53:39Speaker 03

  Single, retired. He tried to date, but someone ghosted him. He got really pissed.

• 53:42Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no.

• 53:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:43Stavros Halkias?

  Your dad's like, show me that fucking pussy, bitch.

• 53:48Speaker 03

  Fucking.

• 53:50Speaker 03

  Do you want to take this dick or no? Because you canceled on me a lot.

• 53:53Stavros Halkias?

  You canceled on me. I was gonna take you to Cheesecake Factory, you fucking bitch.

• 53:58Speaker 03

  Fucking whore.

• 54:01Speaker 03

  He's retired. Your parents retired?

• 54:04Stavros Halkias?

  My mom based, yeah. My dad's not, I mean, he has no retirement plan. He has no money.

• 54:10Speaker 03

  What's his job?

• 54:11Stavros Halkias?

  He's a carpenter. He's really good. He's actually insanely talented, but he was always bad at business. And just had no retirement plan, other than like, we gets, and like, he didn't believe in comedy at all. I remember when I called him, he called, when I was graduating college, I got a call and he would like never call me.

• 54:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:29Stavros Halkias?

  And he was like, I told my mom, I was like, hey, by the way, don't expect me to get a job.

• 54:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:33Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I'm doing comedy. Like, I'm gonna be an open mic. And so like, your hopes and dreams when you came to America

• 54:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:39Stavros Halkias?

  are not coming true.

• 54:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, so drop it.

• 54:42Stavros Halkias?

  So I was like, don't fuck it. Literally, that was essentially the conversation I had with him. I was like, get off my dick, I'm not getting a job.

• 54:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:47Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gonna like work part-time and then do open mics. But I didn't tell my dad that because, you know, I didn't feel like it. Like, I just didn't want to. Uh, cuz, you know, he's not exactly the easiest guy in the world, especially back then, you couldn't have a conversation with him. And so he calls me and I'm like, hello? And I just hear like a, just like a

• 55:08Stavros Halkias?

  like a long sigh. And I'm like, hello?

• 55:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:12Stavros Halkias?

  And he's, I was like, dad? And he's like, your mom tells me you're gonna do comedy? And I was like, oh, yeah. And I'm, part of me, for some reason, part of me is like, hopeful in that moment. I don't know why. You always just want your dad to.

• 55:25Speaker 03

  I always knew you were funny.

• 55:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because my dad was, you know, my dad is pretty funny. And like, his family's, like, my aunt is funny. They, they have very ball, it's very ball busty.

• 55:35Speaker 03

  Ball busty, yeah.

• 55:37Stavros Halkias?

  Because they're just like poor, they were, like, his, my grandfather was a construction worker. And it was just like, we were poor people in Athens, too. And they were just like, you know, that blue collar ball busty shit. And he was like, he also would like do the, like, my dad like acted in like community theater and stuff. And like, he was pretty funny. And so, part of me is like, Because sometimes you hear about people who their parents like like living through them vicariously and I'm like maybe my dad finally even though he never

• 56:04Speaker 03

  Right.

• 56:05Stavros Halkias?

  Showed any hint of ever uh being positive or believing in me

• 56:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:10Stavros Halkias?

  Or being supportive of anything other than thing me getting a job that would help him pay his debt off. Maybe finally he's like, you know what, son?

• 56:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:20Stavros Halkias?

  I'm glad we stayed in America. You get to do what you love.

• 56:23Speaker 03

  I think being creative is important.

• 56:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, it's very important. And yeah, I mean, my dad was like complain about how we weren't in Greece in the middle of the Greek financial crisis. He'd be like, if only we were there. I'm like, they have no, what are you talking about?

• 56:38Speaker 03

  If we were there, this wouldn't be happening.

• 56:39Stavros Halkias?

  Like, what do you mean? We'd be fucking so poor.

• 56:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:42Stavros Halkias?

  Um, and he was just like, and I was like, yeah, I was like, yeah, I am. And he's like, and then all I hear is another ah, and he hangs up. That was the like, that was the like, I remember where I wa- I was like outside, I was getting out of my car.

• 56:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:57Stavros Halkias?

  In my like little, you know, on off campus apartment thing. Yeah, yeah. No, no, I was like, I was like 21.

• 57:03Speaker 03

  Okay, still in college.

• 57:04Stavros Halkias?

  Twenty one, twenty two, yeah, still in college.

• 57:06Speaker 03

  Hilarious.

• 57:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Cause I quit comedy. I started comedy when I was nineteen and then I'd stopped and like took it seriously, took school seriously for a couple of years. And so this is when I started again and I was like, I can't do this bullshit.

• 57:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:21Stavros Halkias?

  I got it. And then one, they kind of thought like, oh, he got that out of, out of his system a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I was like, oh, actually, like, I tried, this sucks dick.

• 57:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:33Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm gonna, and so that's when I got that call, but

• 57:35Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 57:36Stavros Halkias?

  So, um, so he like, so he, so his goal, his whole, all his plan was that one of us gets successful. I did get successful. But now it's like, I don't know, he's fucking weird. He doesn't like

• 57:47Speaker 03

  He doesn't

• 57:48Stavros Halkias?

  It's like

• 57:49Speaker 03

  He didn't say like dreamboat tour.

• 57:51Stavros Halkias?

  No, I mean, he's, he came to a show for the first time.

• 57:53Speaker 03

  What'd he say?

• 57:54Stavros Halkias?

  He said it was good.

• 57:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:55Stavros Halkias?

  But he's like, ah, what'd he say? He was like my

• 57:58Speaker 04

  I, I, he brought like some people with him. I was walking him to the green room after the show. He was like, my son is fucking crazy, man.

• 58:06Stavros Halkias?

  And I like censored myself.

• 58:09Speaker 03

  Right.

• 58:09Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it was the family show.

• 58:10Speaker 03

  Are you ever hooking up with a young lady?

• 58:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I didn't do the getting, I didn't do the, there's some, there's some sex work material in there. There's some, uh, stuff about there, about our family that I just skipped. Cause I was like.

• 58:24Speaker 03

  No way. Yeah.

• 58:25Stavros Halkias?

  And, uh, but so, I don't know, whatever. So like, yeah, there, my dad is like, he wants to retire, but I don't know how the fuck he's going to. Who knows?

• 58:33Speaker 03

  Do you give your family money?

• 58:35Stavros Halkias?

  I, I mean, yeah, I mean, I fucking, I paid for their divorce essentially.

• 58:38Speaker 03

  Really?

• 58:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like, I, I bought him out of the house.

• 58:42Speaker 03

  Your parents got divorced after, when you were in your twenties?

• 58:44Stavros Halkias?

  They got divorced, they got divorced last year.

• 58:46Speaker 03

  They did?

• 58:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:47Speaker 03

  What the hell happened?

• 58:48Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, what should have happened.

• 58:50Speaker 03

  Right. They were just like, okay, fine.

• 58:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. It was like, I think my mom finally was like, it's really my mom should have stood up for herself years ago. And then my dad was like, what? I thought I'm grandfathered in.

• 59:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:01Stavros Halkias?

  He was like, I made it.

• 59:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:02Stavros Halkias?

  I made it past, we're too fucking old now.

• 59:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're old, we hate each other.

• 59:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this is what hap, this is what marriage is. My parents wanted to kill, you know, hated each other my whole life.

• 59:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:11Stavros Halkias?

  That's literally his thought process, but yeah, I mean, you know, a lot. My fucking, anyway, it doesn't, it doesn't matter, but yeah.

• 59:18Speaker 03

  They live separately.

• 59:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but it's, you know, on some level, it's like, I guess weirdly they did, they did get the American dream backwards.

• 59:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:29Stavros Halkias?

  It's like they failed, they failed so much that it created a situation where like, I had to become, I became an artistic.

• 59:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:37Stavros Halkias?

  And I, and I somehow.

• 59:39Speaker 03

  Comedy for the money.

• 59:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, how did that happen? I was so, it was the producers where it's like, we fucked up so bad, we made a.

• 59:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:47Stavros Halkias?

  We were, we, yeah, we had such a bad family dynamic that it created a comedian, a successful comedian.

• 59:53Speaker 03

  Yeah. Turned around and just taking, taking care of the divorce.

• 59:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, taking care of the divorce, having a place, paying for both of your homes, but whatever, man. Normal stuff, man. It's all good.

• 1:00:05Speaker 03

  Like stop, people wanna know why you're never home.

• 1:00:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, truly. It's like, why don't you visit? It's like, oh, two weeks at the fucking of the holidays and I wanted to fucking hang myself.

• 1:00:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, literally.

• 1:00:19Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, so yeah, clearly I got it all figured out. I'm the kind of guy that's ready to fucking give advice. And you too, Maddy.

• 1:00:26Speaker 03

  And me too.

• 1:00:26Stavros Halkias?

  I think what's clear is that both of us

• 1:00:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:29Stavros Halkias?

  are people in their mid 30s

• 1:00:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:31Stavros Halkias?

  that are happy with their lives.

• 1:00:32Speaker 03

  Happy, on top of it.

• 1:00:33Stavros Halkias?

  Despite, despite, you know, reasonable success, we're very happy still.

• 1:00:39Speaker 03

  Super happy. The happiness just keeps flowing. Keeps coming in.

• 1:00:44Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead, Al. Let's play us a couple fucking calls here.

• 1:00:46Speaker 03

  Stabby baby.

• 1:00:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, and here, in the mid, in the midway point, is there anything you would like to plug?

• 1:00:52Speaker 03

  Uh, I'm always on the, I was on the road.

• 1:00:56Stavros Halkias?

  Always on the road.

• 1:00:56Speaker 03

  maddysmithcomedy.com.

• 1:00:58Stavros Halkias?

  maddysmithcomedy.com.

• 1:00:59Speaker 03

  I might have filmed a special by now, so I guess I'll look out for that. I don't know what I know. I'll probably be a different gender by the time this comes out.

• 1:01:08Stavros Halkias?

  You'll be fully lesbian. You'll take back everything you said.

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  Something will happen. I'll be fully, uh, Bushera, or whatever it is. Yeah, maddysmithcomedy.com. Come see me live. I was doing shows.

• 1:01:19Stavros Halkias?

  Love it.

• 1:01:19Speaker 03

  So Maddy Smith, Instagram, podcast called Mad House.

• 1:01:21Stavros Halkias?

  Love it.

• 1:01:23Speaker 03

  Thanks.

• 1:01:24Stavros Halkias?

  All right, Al, just hit us up.

• 1:01:27Speaker 05

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• 1:01:56Speaker 00

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• 1:02:20Speaker 06

  Bobby, Elvis, guest, advise me. So, ten years ago, in my mid twenties, I befriended a coworker, a guy. Uh, we became really good friends. Uh, he's a great friend. And for the first eightish years, he never got flirtatious with me. But maybe twoish years ago, he started saying pretty forward things all the time. Like, the line at this bar is too long, wanna go to back to mine and hook up?

• 1:02:43Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, pretty forward, I agree.

• 1:02:46Speaker 03

  Change my bed sheets, wanna go roll around?

• 1:02:49Stavros Halkias?

  It's almost like the line's too long, wanna suck my dick?

• 1:02:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, just.

• 1:02:53Stavros Halkias?

  It's taken you wanna get a gin and tonic, maybe you could, maybe I could fuck you.

• 1:02:57Speaker 03

  Yeah. Waiting for the restaurant is pretty long, you know?

• 1:03:04Stavros Halkias?

  You could eat my ass.

• 1:03:06Speaker 03

  Just saying it out loud.

• 1:03:07Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead, Elvis.

• 1:03:08Speaker 06

  Like, the line at this bar is too long, wanna go to back to mine and hook up? Or, I just changed my bed sheets, wanna go roll around in them? Or he'd just call me hot. And I would brush it off because I was thinking he was just being silly.

• 1:03:19Stavros Halkias?

  You would brush it off?

• 1:03:20Speaker 06

  Uh, but a couple times, I was like, there's a chance. I'm gonna have to imagine here, hit someone I know and trust, why not? So a few times, I reciprocated with flirty touching, but he would always move away. Um, so nothing ever happened. And eventually, I asked him, like, what was going on here? What is this weird pattern we're in? And he said that he's just saying words, and I'm the one actually touching. So he's not flirting, I am. And he's never been attracted to me. Only sees me as a friend and thinks it's hilarious. I'd think otherwise. Um, and the next two times we hung out, he brought this up again to say, you know I never flirt with you, right? Which is a point I would never concede to him, because I'm not insane. Um, so my question is, from your POV, what is this behavior?

• 1:04:05Speaker 06

  Do you think it's, uh, I don't know what it is. What is going on here? And do you think it's an overreaction to maybe distance myself, cut off contact a little? Because I'm frankly kinda weirded out by this guy's reaction he had to this. Thank you, guys.

• 1:04:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, this is insane.

• 1:04:21Speaker 03

  Cut it off.

• 1:04:22Stavros Halkias?

  Like, he's a, uh, what's my read on this? I think he's a coward, clearly. He's a coward. Maybe he is, like, I...

• 1:04:35Speaker 03

  Like...

• 1:04:36Stavros Halkias?

  Is he fully, like, was he throwing it out there?

• 1:04:41Stavros Halkias?

  Like maybe he, I don't know, he's, definitely he's a coward, right? Definitely, cause like as soon as you were like, you even would fuck it. You were like, hey, fuck, let's see where this, like, you even were like, hey, he's my friend. We get along well, why not?

• 1:04:53Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:04:54Stavros Halkias?

  And the fact that he backs away, it's one thing. Now, it's possible he, he didn't, he didn't think it through, like, it's kind of like DMing.

• 1:05:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, just saying it.

• 1:05:07Stavros Halkias?

  And being like, well, they're never gonna DM me back, so I can be wild.

• 1:05:10Speaker 03

  They're never gonna call me out.

• 1:05:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:05:11Speaker 03

  You're not flirting?

• 1:05:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, it's like, whoa, you're being a weird bitch. You, you do comedy, I should be able to say this shit to you.

• 1:05:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:18Stavros Halkias?

  Like, it's kind of that, exactly, where it's like.

• 1:05:20Speaker 03

  Very similar, yeah.

• 1:05:21Stavros Halkias?

  I wasn't, you touched me, you're the flirt.

• 1:05:23Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:05:23Stavros Halkias?

  I reject you. Yeah, you want me, weirdo.

• 1:05:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:30Speaker 03

  I would say just cut off, don't handle this person.

• 1:05:32Stavros Halkias?

  Because one read of it is, he didn't think it was possible.

• 1:05:35Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:05:36Stavros Halkias?

  And then may, and then maybe he actually doesn't want to for some reason. Whether that's being scared, whether that's being like, I'm actually not attracted to you, I just wanted to like.

• 1:05:47Speaker 03

  Say shit?

• 1:05:48Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe he was doing it for his self-esteem is the, is the least charitable read of like, he's kind of using you as like, you know, the way, the way like, you know, uh, like, going to a gay, people would make that joke about going to a gay bar for compliments, like, leading on, like a gay friend, when you're like, whatever. Maybe he's just using you for, for self-esteem, and then this is even a shittier version of that, where part of it is putting you down for just reacting normally, you know?

• 1:06:17Speaker 03

  Self-esteem.

• 1:06:19Stavros Halkias?

  But either way, it's not good.

• 1:06:21Speaker 03

  Not good, yeah, I would cut off.

• 1:06:22Stavros Halkias?

  And you're not overreacting, because it's very fucking strange to be like.

• 1:06:27Speaker 03

  Especially after eight years.

• 1:06:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's like, you know, that's a good point, it's like, you know each other for a while, and then it's also like, you know what? You took him up on it, you're like, hey, fuck it, let's see where this goes. She gave him a little flirty touch back, so. He's a, yeah, you gotta get out of there, cuz I don't, this is, there's no good thing that comes of this.

• 1:06:46Speaker 03

  What would be there, you have a friend, you're still confused, or you date and he's like a piece of shit?

• 1:06:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, I guess best case scenario is he still does want to hook up with you, he's just that much of a coward.

• 1:06:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:58Stavros Halkias?

  That you're gonna have to do everything, and he's gonna maintain plausible deniability along the way, this was never his idea.

• 1:07:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:05Stavros Halkias?

  And you, that's not-

• 1:07:06Speaker 03

  For some reason, he's gonna stand by like, you came onto me.

• 1:07:09Stavros Halkias?

  You might be fucking dating for a year, and then he just like, breaks up, and he's like, well, this wasn't really my thing, you wanted it.

• 1:07:14Speaker 03

  Agreed.

• 1:07:15Stavros Halkias?

  There's just something strange here, and I think, at the very least, he does not value you enough.

• 1:07:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:21Stavros Halkias?

  Um, is my general read.

• 1:07:22Speaker 04

  It's interesting, so you said they're like platonic friends for eight years, and he started like, being very forthright for like, two years?

• 1:07:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:29Speaker 04

  I wonder if he was just a fucking loser for a long time, and he just learned how to like, get pussy in the last year or something? And maybe he like, started trying to chip away at her two years ago?

• 1:07:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:40Speaker 04

  But then he's like, actually been fucking like, recently, so he's like, eh, you know, I could, I could, I know how to fuck now, so I don't like, need to like, hang around like, my, my like platonic friend who I secretly did wanna fuck for like a decade.

• 1:07:53Stavros Halkias?

  I wanted to fuck her, now I feel like I'm better than her, and now I'm so embarrassed that at any point, I was trying to fuck her, that I'm trying to gaslight her into thinking she's the one that wanted to fuck me all along.

• 1:08:04Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:08:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yeah, I mean, this sounds a lot like he's on chapter one of, uh, like, Pua shit? It's like he watched one, the introductory video of how to nag women?

• 1:08:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:15Stavros Halkias?

  He hasn't finished. It feels like, it feels like, oh, what do I do when they actually wanna fuck you?

• 1:08:20Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:08:22Stavros Halkias?

  I haven't gotten to this part yet, uh, you're a bitch!

• 1:08:27Stavros Halkias?

  I'm scared.

• 1:08:28Speaker 03

  You have daddy issues.

• 1:08:31Speaker 03

  Just started listening to Andrew Tate.

• 1:08:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, this sucks. This guy, this guy's gotta go.

• 1:08:36Speaker 03

  Don't hang with him anymore.

• 1:08:37Stavros Halkias?

  You're, you're, you're right in your read of him, I believe.

• 1:08:40Speaker 03

  Agreed.

• 1:08:42Stavros Halkias?

  What else we got, Eld? Hey, Bobby, long time listener, first time caller, uh, seen guest.

• 1:08:50Speaker 06

  Just seeing if you guys did figure me out some problems, I guess. I have this girl that I just met and we've been dating for like three months now. He essentially acted before, I'm assuming, but he told me she's never had anybody make her come.

• 1:09:09Speaker 03

  Mmm.

• 1:09:09Speaker 06

  So I made her finish and now she's like-

• 1:09:13Speaker 03

  Do it every time.

• 1:09:14Speaker 06

  Like expecting it, me to do it every time.

• 1:09:16Speaker 03

  Fuck.

• 1:09:17Speaker 06

  And it's like cool, whatever.

• 1:09:19Speaker 03

  I should have done that.

• 1:09:20Speaker 06

  She pump, pump, just like every time.

• 1:09:23Stavros Halkias?

  Do you bust every time, man?

• 1:09:27Speaker 06

  So how could I explain to her that?

• 1:09:29Speaker 03

  Bruh.

• 1:09:30Stavros Halkias?

  This is crazy, dude.

• 1:09:32Speaker 03

  This guy's hilarious.

• 1:09:34Speaker 06

  Have a good one.

• 1:09:34Speaker 03

  Dude, not every time.

• 1:09:36Stavros Halkias?

  It's one thing if you-

• 1:09:37Speaker 03

  I love that.

• 1:09:38Stavros Halkias?

  It's one thing if it's like, look, it's hard to make her come, like, I'm trying my best, but I can't get it to happen. But you're just like, I could do it, but come on.

• 1:09:48Speaker 03

  And she's saying every time.

• 1:09:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I mean, if you're some kind of freak who gets his dick sucked without busting and they can go about his day.

• 1:09:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:56Stavros Halkias?

  Which I weirdly have friends like that who don't, who like, they just wanna fuck a little bit. And it's like, they fuck like women who they've never been able to come.

• 1:10:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:04Stavros Halkias?

  Like, that's insane to me.

• 1:10:06Speaker 03

  Totally, that's insane, yeah.

• 1:10:06Stavros Halkias?

  For a guy to behave that way is insane. But like, like, now, is, are we missing something? Like, it's just like, I guess-

• 1:10:16Speaker 03

  Unless he's, unless it takes forever.

• 1:10:18Stavros Halkias?

  If it takes like ninety minutes.

• 1:10:20Speaker 03

  And she's got him standing next to her bed, like, for three hours, yeah.

• 1:10:23Stavros Halkias?

  He's gotta ice his shoulder afterwards.

• 1:10:25Speaker 03

  And she's like, keep going, keep going, keep going.

• 1:10:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:28Speaker 03

  But to me, but also like that sort of long, the taking long can be, uh, help, uh, shortens if you're in a relationship and they keep making you finish every time.

• 1:10:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly. It's like you figure out a rhythm.

• 1:10:39Speaker 03

  Speeds up.

• 1:10:40Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, look, I get, hopefully, we're going to do benefit of the doubt and say we're missing something in that, like-

• 1:10:46Speaker 03

  Otherwise hilarious character, guy who doesn't think women should come every time.

• 1:10:52Stavros Halkias?

  Like because, okay, I will say I have been with, I dated, or not even dated, whatever. I knew a person, it doesn't matter, I just wanna be.

• 1:11:01Speaker 03

  I knew a person.

• 1:11:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I just wanna be general here. I did, okay, you know, I did date somebody back in the day, right? Um, and this is like in Baltimore even, like, this is when I was like younger, and it was like, I had something similar happen where she was like, no one's ever made me come, and I will say, it was a true ordeal.

• 1:11:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:19Stavros Halkias?

  It really was like a over hour, like, it wa- I literally had a sore, a sore shoulder.

• 1:11:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:27Stavros Halkias?

  I'm eating pussy, many very different types of ways, like, and I'm, and it's like, and I could feel her like, it's like that, the most teasing thing in the world is like, when a girl is about to bust for forty minutes. When it's like, when you're like.

• 1:11:43Speaker 03

  Oh my god, fuck.

• 1:11:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're like, nice, we're getting close.

• 1:11:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:48Stavros Halkias?

  And then it's like, fuck, and I ju- I just fucking threw it into turbo mode, my jaw's getting sore.

• 1:11:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:54Stavros Halkias?

  I literally like, I fail because of fatigue.

• 1:11:57Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:11:57Stavros Halkias?

  You know, where I'm like, I cannot keep this up, I am not strong enough, thinking like, I literally can't do this. I'm too fat to be able to eat pussy and finger at the same time for a long time, my tits get in the way, you know?

• 1:12:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:10Stavros Halkias?

  And so like, so if that's the case, but at the same time, it's like.

• 1:12:16Speaker 03

  And if that's the case, you can toss a vibrator in.

• 1:12:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, get a vibrator and mix, like, you know, exactly, like, that's the other thing, it's like, I think what she's saying is, if you guys are having a proper fuck sesh, which, when you first start, three months in, it's like, you get a lot of like, fucking is like the centerpiece of a new relationship.

• 1:12:34Speaker 03

  Three months in, it's like, all you're thinking about is fucking that person.

• 1:12:36Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, and it's like, you are having these long, like, even weekends where you're just like laying in bed and you might fuck for a while, and then like, you don't start your day till like, like, this is the part where fucking takes, you know, center stage.

• 1:12:50Speaker 03

  Center, it's like lesbians, every relationship is lesbians the first three months.

• 1:12:54Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, exactly. And so, and so like, yeah, dude, uh, basically, when you're having a proper fuck sesh, she's gotta bust every time, now if it's, if it's some kinda like, you know, twelve minute situation, but that's only if, again, that's us giving you the charitable read, but if it just means you don't feel like eating pussy for, let's say, eleven minutes.

• 1:13:17Speaker 03

  Eleven, yeah.

• 1:13:19Stavros Halkias?

  Come on dude, you gotta suck it up. Like so unless there's some kind of like real hour-long situation here.

• 1:13:27Speaker 03

  If that's, yeah.

• 1:13:27Stavros Halkias?

  Then then like, okay, we can give you some grace here, but it's like even that is like you got, when it's a full sesh, you gotta do your best. And then if it's a quickie, then yeah, you could be like, look, I'm trying my hardest over here, but I can't make you bust every time.

• 1:13:41Speaker 03

  Sorry, we don't have a lot of time.

• 1:13:42Stavros Halkias?

  This is still kind of early, though, to be doing this kind of shit. Like, I have thought about, like, I like, you, and what you said is so is true too, where it's like, you start dating someone and you figure out, I feel like the first three months, I'm in, I'm in the exploratory phase of like, how do I make this person come?

• 1:14:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, then after, bleh.

• 1:14:02Stavros Halkias?

  Then you have, and then it's like, and then even after you're like, nice, I'm doing, and then it's like, it honestly takes, it should take a while after that for you not to want to make them come.

• 1:14:10Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:14:11Stavros Halkias?

  And it's another thing to be like, the the clocks take, like, you're trying your hardest, and it's like, we gotta be at work, uh,

• 1:14:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:18Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just gonna fuck you real fast and nut.

• 1:14:21Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, look, the clock's ticking, it's, it's been a half hour. You gotta leave, I'm gonna nut here if that's okay with you, right? That's different than be, from the beginning, not even giving it the old college try, you know?

• 1:14:33Speaker 03

  And also like, seeing your girlfriends coming, I was like,

• 1:14:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, great, I made her come. I'm the fir-, like, that's like, when some, when a girl told me.

• 1:14:41Speaker 03

  Coming I made you do?

• 1:14:44Stavros Halkias?

  After you've come five times in your life from intercourse?

• 1:14:47Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 1:14:48Stavros Halkias?

  Thanks to me?

• 1:14:49Speaker 03

  Just seems, you know.

• 1:14:50Stavros Halkias?

  It does, that should also make you feel cool. Like, it does make me feel unreasonably cool when a girl's told me that.

• 1:14:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:57Stavros Halkias?

  You know, where it's like, or when you-

• 1:14:58Speaker 03

  I think you should be pumped.

• 1:14:59Stavros Halkias?

  You should be pumped and you should still be in the halo phase of it. You're not in the like, this is taking up too much of my time phase. Again, unless we're missing something, but I don't think we are.

• 1:15:09Speaker 03

  Like, the, what sex is, he's probably assuming that it's guys nut every time.

• 1:15:15Stavros Halkias?

  Well, yeah, if you're used-

• 1:15:16Speaker 03

  And women is optional.

• 1:15:17Stavros Halkias?

  If you're used to sex taking four minutes.

• 1:15:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:22Stavros Halkias?

  And you're like, I don't want to take 25 minutes with with foreplay. Then you have no case. But if you're like, I'm used to sex taking 10 to 25 minutes. And now it's taking one hour to two hours. There's a little more gray area there, but still, I do feel like you're a little early to be looking, looking for, to get out of the, you know. You're you're not in like, long-term relationship zone where it's like, let's get the vibrator out, let's do it. All right, I put hard boiled eggs in. We have seven minutes before they're done.

• 1:15:56Speaker 03

  Let's go.

• 1:16:02Speaker 04

  His dick's soft because he came already. He's got the vibrator out with the soft dick.

• 1:16:07Speaker 03

  Soft dick vibrator hilarious.

• 1:16:08Stavros Halkias?

  You're not with your, yeah, that's when you really love someone.

• 1:16:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:11Stavros Halkias?

  And you're just working a vibrator post nut, you're just like.

• 1:16:14Speaker 03

  Yep, changing the batteries, looking at your phone, watching the Ravens.

• 1:16:18Stavros Halkias?

  Just kind of like, unenthusiastically choking her like.

• 1:16:25Speaker 03

  She's like making your head tired.

• 1:16:31Stavros Halkias?

  You're not there yet, buddy. You're not there yet. So fuck with fervor for a while.

• 1:16:36Speaker 03

  Consider like, maybe not, maybe some non-sex surprise comes where you're just like fingering, eating out and no sex.

• 1:16:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:44Speaker 03

  She come, you don't. And there's sex later and there's no pressure. You can just sex.

• 1:16:49Stavros Halkias?

  You want to keep the ledger even, as even as you possibly can.

• 1:16:53Speaker 03

  Come for a come.

• 1:16:54Stavros Halkias?

  If you want to bank a couple nuts, if you want to bank a couple quick nuts, bank a couple quick nuts, but you, yeah. Dude, I can't like, it should be equal, man. Like, that's the whole point. Sometimes, look, some some ladies are tough busts. I get that. But if you have the means, you should keep it equal.

• 1:17:15Speaker 03

  I'm offended by his last, how do I explain that to her?

• 1:17:17Stavros Halkias?

  I know. Like, she doesn't get something.

• 1:17:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:20Stavros Halkias?

  Like, she's too stupid to get it.

• 1:17:24Speaker 03

  How do I knock this into her silly little head? You're not coming every time.

• 1:17:31Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, man. Come on, man. Get to the, get bustin'. Get to making ladies bust.

• 1:17:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, you gotta make them bust. They're gonna be so much nicer to you.

• 1:17:39Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. We're a pro bust fucking podcast here.

• 1:17:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:43Stavros Halkias?

  Your life is better if you make the person you're dating bust.

• 1:17:46Speaker 03

  I'm telling you.

• 1:17:46Stavros Halkias?

  I have got, I got to hook up with a girl who did not like me and had huge tits, because I was good at eating pussy. She was like, she was like, it was awesome. I felt, I totally felt like purely objectified.

• 1:17:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:59Stavros Halkias?

  For eating pussy. And she just clearly, like, we went on one date, and I could tell she was like, whatever, but she was kind of freaky. She's like, I'm still gonna fuck the guy. And then, her tone changed when I ate her pussy.

• 1:18:10Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:18:11Stavros Halkias?

  And it was like.

• 1:18:12Speaker 03

  I respect you.

• 1:18:13Stavros Halkias?

  It was awesome. It was awesome. That, that felt, like, you don't want that all the time. You don't want to feel like, a piece of, you know. But, you know, when you're fat, when you've grown up fat as shit too.

• 1:18:23Speaker 03

  And you're getting praised for eating.

• 1:18:24Stavros Halkias?

  And then Eve, yeah.

• 1:18:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. She's like, wow. The way you work that mouth.

• 1:18:34Stavros Halkias?

  It's important, man. It felt good.

• 1:18:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, it is. I just, I felt sucking a good D. You got, you got, you got right in the palm of your hands.

• 1:18:42Stavros Halkias?

  I literally.

• 1:18:43Speaker 03

  Guys are so nice after you.

• 1:18:44Stavros Halkias?

  There are four women who can ask me for anything.

• 1:18:48Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:18:49Stavros Halkias?

  Because, there's like, four types of head.

• 1:18:52Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:18:52Stavros Halkias?

  That it's like, if I get this head again, whatever you need.

• 1:18:55Speaker 03

  What are some, what are some specialties of, of these DJs, uh? Or it just depends on the gal and how, how it fixes him with the girl and.

• 1:19:05Stavros Halkias?

  It's one, one of them had like a wild, almost like tornado technique.

• 1:19:09Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:19:09Stavros Halkias?

  Of like, there was like an air vacuum that took, like, she like sucked it away where it was like. Hand, it was hand, mouth, or a weird.

• 1:19:17Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:19:18Stavros Halkias?

  When the mouth comes off, it was like a weird vacuum for a second.

• 1:19:21Speaker 03

  You go.

• 1:19:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. It was, but it, it was incredible. And then more than anything, it's just persistence and a nice, a nice suck and jerk at the same time.

• 1:19:31Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Suck and jerk a little, and you gotta, you gotta like, be like, oh my god, I love this.

• 1:19:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even need that. I just need the technical ability.

• 1:19:43Stavros Halkias?

  I'm no fool, I know. See, the thing is, you don't need, that's one of those show don't tells.

• 1:19:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:49Stavros Halkias?

  Somebody talking about loving how much they're sucking dick, they're overdoing it.

• 1:19:53Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 1:19:54Stavros Halkias?

  Somebody who loves sucking dick so much, they don't even have a moment to spare.

• 1:19:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, you got.

• 1:19:58Stavros Halkias?

  Cause they're greedily sucking dick.

• 1:20:00Speaker 03

  Right. They don't even have, like, people are talking about eye contact, don't even look at me.

• 1:20:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:04Speaker 03

  Focus on.

• 1:20:04Stavros Halkias?

  Gimme like one second, then I'm like, oh.

• 1:20:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:10Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, she loves.

• 1:20:13Speaker 03

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:20:14Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, so yeah, good luck, you gotta bust.

• 1:20:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, good luck dude, that's just like, if she breaks up with you for the future, you gotta, you gotta make her not.

• 1:20:21Stavros Halkias?

  And get your technique better, it's all good.

• 1:20:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:23Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, next question, Eldis.

• 1:20:26Speaker 07

  Hi, Stav, I am a new time listener, long time hater. Um, just kidding.

• 1:20:32Speaker 03

  Funny girl.

• 1:20:33Speaker 07

  I recently in August got out of a year-long relationship with this guy, who I was in love with, like, we were gonna get married. I'm like 25, he's 30. Uh, we had a house together, we like renovated this house, we did electrical work together.

• 1:20:50Stavros Halkias?

  In a year?

• 1:20:51Speaker 07

  Um, loved his family, we were all really close.

• 1:20:54Stavros Halkias?

  How did you get this close in a year?

• 1:20:55Speaker 07

  And he just kind of ended up not being what I needed and had a lot of issues there. And so I left, um, and it like really hurt and it really sucked.

• 1:21:05Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:21:06Speaker 07

  But I had enough love for myself and for him, that I didn't want to go to hate him. And so I, and I saw that the things that you were dedicated doing.

• 1:21:15Stavros Halkias?

  You.

• 1:21:16Speaker 07

  Was over much trying to fix and it wasn't getting better. Anyway, so I leave him and he's like all, you know, up about it. He was not handling it well. And like a month later, this girl that I know, who has the same name as me. We like look like curly brown hair, brown eyes, like, literally, she was just like an older version of me. He moved her into the house that I helped build.

• 1:21:44Stavros Halkias?

  Respect to this guy.

• 1:21:45Speaker 03

  Classic move.

• 1:21:46Stavros Halkias?

  This guy be like, alright, um, we got another one of these laying around somewhere.

• 1:21:50Speaker 03

  You with the brown curly hair.

• 1:21:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, so this is your spot.

• 1:21:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's so fucking funny.

• 1:21:57Speaker 03

  These are photos that look like you.

• 1:21:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, we've all, I literally have done similar things where I'm like, you date someone who looks like somebody you're not over, and then you're like, oh, this is a different person.

• 1:22:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:10Stavros Halkias?

  Like, you're like, oh, this will be great. It's just like, it'll just be like whoever. And then you go on a date and they're like, you're not acting like she acted.

• 1:22:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, wait a second.

• 1:22:19Stavros Halkias?

  This sucks. Fucking you is not that fun.

• 1:22:23Speaker 03

  You just kinda look like her.

• 1:22:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, this sucks, actually. You're being rude.

• 1:22:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:30Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead, Al.

• 1:22:31Speaker 07

  I helped build, and then they both thought they needed to be like, I promise nothing's going on.

• 1:22:38Stavros Halkias?

  Who cares?

• 1:22:39Speaker 07

  And now they're dating.

• 1:22:41Stavros Halkias?

  He broke up with her?

• 1:22:43Speaker 07

  And this is like, one of my old friends.

• 1:22:45Stavros Halkias?

  So what?

• 1:22:46Speaker 07

  And my ex, a month after I left him. Um, and everyone's telling me like, that to not be upset about it and to get over it and like, whatever. But I'm like, no, actually, I am kind of, that's crazy. Because like, was it all a lie? Did you actually love me?

• 1:23:03Stavros Halkias?

  Pause this, pause this.

• 1:23:04Speaker 03

  Were you ever gonna make me come?

• 1:23:05Stavros Halkias?

  You broke up? Yeah.

• 1:23:09Speaker 04

  The new one doesn't complain.

• 1:23:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, right? She's coming. She actually is allergic to orgasms. Sick.

• 1:23:18Stavros Halkias?

  My doctor said I'm not allowed to have them. He's like, that's, will you marry me?

• 1:23:24Speaker 03

  Please, you're the one of my dreams.

• 1:23:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, then you go back to being an eight-year-old. If you find a woman who doesn't wanna come, you're like, oh, my heart is intertwined with yours.

• 1:23:34Speaker 03

  Oh, how the sun shines only for you.

• 1:23:38Stavros Halkias?

  Um, okay, I guess we'll let her get through this, but like,

• 1:23:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:42Stavros Halkias?

  Just, yeah, whatever, let her get through it.

• 1:23:43Speaker 03

  It's okay, yeah, you can be upset, but also you did your thing.

• 1:23:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, let's, let's, let's see what else we got.

• 1:23:49Speaker 07

  Was it all a lie? Did you actually love me? Are you just gonna continue to look for me in every woman you see?

• 1:23:55Stavros Halkias?

  Relax.

• 1:23:57Speaker 07

  Yeah, so what do you, how do you think I should respond or react to this? I haven't obviously like, said or done anything, and I don't know if I ever will, but, like, am I okay to be fucking upset about that? Anyways.

• 1:24:10Speaker 07

  Fun in the round. Thank you. Love you. Bye.

• 1:24:12Stavros Halkias?

  You can be upset, obviously. Anyone, of course. And look, whenever you break up with someone afterwards, like, it sucks when they first start dating somebody. Even if you're like, I ne- we were never gonna be good together.

• 1:24:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:27Stavros Halkias?

  But it's like, you can't help that. There's natural jealousies.

• 1:24:31Speaker 03

  My ex from years ago got married. I said,

• 1:24:36Speaker 03

  what?

• 1:24:38Speaker 03

  How dare you? You're supposed to be still like, like crying over me. And this whole time you were building it. Wow, okay.

• 1:24:45Stavros Halkias?

  You were building a life?

• 1:24:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, news to me.

• 1:24:47Stavros Halkias?

  You're a fucking piece of shit.

• 1:24:49Speaker 03

  But like, you have to also own, like, I did that.

• 1:24:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:52Speaker 03

  And the feelings you were feeling before you broke up were real.

• 1:24:55Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, exactly. And it's like, look, and also, it's like, you also, you get even a little less ability to be upset when you broke up. Like, if somebody breaks up with you and says, this isn't gonna work.

• 1:25:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:25:07Stavros Halkias?

  And then one month later, starts dating a friend of yours that looks exactly like you.

• 1:25:12Speaker 03

  Then you'd be like, the fuck?

• 1:25:13Stavros Halkias?

  You said we get, you just,

• 1:25:15Speaker 03

  Psycho.

• 1:25:16Stavros Halkias?

  You know, like, but none of this, was it all re- was it ever real? Was it whatever? You can't have those thoughts.

• 1:25:22Speaker 03

  Cause you cut him off.

• 1:25:22Stavros Halkias?

  You, you broke up.

• 1:25:24Speaker 03

  Cause he probably asked himself that, when you cut him off.

• 1:25:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and, and, yeah, exactly. It's like, he, and he's, you know, maybe this'll last, maybe it won't, but ultimately, this is not your fucking business.

• 1:25:34Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:25:34Stavros Halkias?

  Like, when you break up with somebody, you can't be fucking looking at who they start dating.

• 1:25:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, you gotta, you gotta.

• 1:25:40Stavros Halkias?

  And look, being your, being like, kind of a friend of yours, that's fucked up. Maybe, maybe there's some anger towards the friend.

• 1:25:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, maybe.

• 1:25:49Stavros Halkias?

  If anything, if this person was a friend, that's where I would have some anger. But the guy, you can't be mad about them moving on when you broke up with them. You just can't. And you can't police how they move on.

• 1:26:01Speaker 03

  Yeah. And you lived in a house with him, he's gonna have someone else in that house, bitch?

• 1:26:04Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. What did you think was gonna happen? I know the house that you built, but also, it's like, let this be a lesson to, you said you dated this one for one year?

• 1:26:11Speaker 03

  And you're renovating with him?

• 1:26:13Stavros Halkias?

  You're doing electrical, you're doing duct work in that fucking house? You know his family enough to love them in a year? That's nuts.

• 1:26:21Speaker 03

  Motherfucker's caulking?

• 1:26:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're caulking with this fucking guy? You're fucking picking out tile and shit? That's cra- in one year, that's crazy.

• 1:26:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:29Stavros Halkias?

  That is fucking nuts, I gotta say.

• 1:26:30Speaker 03

  I say, like, don't look, block.

• 1:26:33Stavros Halkias?

  Block for sure. You're you're so squarely in the block zone of a breakup.

• 1:26:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:40Stavros Halkias?

  That you shouldn't even have this information.

• 1:26:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, you should be blocked and you should tell all your friends, I blocked them, so don't even.

• 1:26:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I don't want to know about it. I'm moving forward, whatever. We don't have to gossip about it. You're right, this might be some small town shit where it's like, everybody knows everybody, so it's like the talk of the town, or at least the talk of a friend group. Which is like, that's the nice thing about being in a big city where it's like, you can live in the same city as your ex and you work.

• 1:27:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:03Stavros Halkias?

  And never see them again.

• 1:27:05Speaker 03

  Ever see them. You can break up with them that day and that night, you can get dick.

• 1:27:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And maybe that's another thing. Go get a little dick.

• 1:27:12Speaker 03

  Get some dick.

• 1:27:14Stavros Halkias?

  Let this let this wash over you.

• 1:27:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:17Speaker 04

  Also, how sure is she that he's like looking for her in other women? Like, maybe a curly haired girl like sucked his dick awesome in high school and she's like his second or third attempt to like try to recreate that.

• 1:27:27Stavros Halkias?

  Great point.

• 1:27:28Speaker 03

  Right, it could be someone else who's the.

• 1:27:30Stavros Halkias?

  I love, yeah, you're not the fucking inciting curly haired brown eyed girl, potentially. Yeah, that's the thing. Don't get a little, look, we all, don't get high and mighty.

• 1:27:40Speaker 03

  Everyone on this pod say they would fuck Fran Drescher if she's got brown hair. So, it's not you, oh. It's not you at all.

• 1:27:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, sorry, sometimes you need tough love from your pals.

• 1:27:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:51Stavros Halkias?

  And we're giving it to you.

• 1:27:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, biatch.

• 1:27:53Stavros Halkias?

  But you're doing good, you see, it was it was mature of you to get out of it when you knew it didn't work.

• 1:27:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good instinct, but don't, and you can be upset. Definitely don't do anything. Definitely don't engage. Don't, this is over, block, live your life, you'll be okay.

• 1:28:09Speaker 03

  Anything you'll say you regret.

• 1:28:11Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:28:12Speaker 03

  One million percent.

• 1:28:13Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:28:17Speaker 05

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• 1:28:45Speaker 00

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• 1:29:10Speaker 03

  Hey, stop it.

• 1:29:12Speaker 06

  Hey, Stavi, um, I have a question. I have something I guess I want some feedback on.

• 1:29:18Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:29:19Speaker 06

  So, um, one of the only times that a man has ever asked, has ever, uh, bought me a drink at a bar, um, he was blind.

• 1:29:32Speaker 03

  Terrible stats.

• 1:29:33Speaker 06

  And I was at the bar with my friend. You know, he, my friend like struck up a conversation with him like at the bar and, um, yeah, he was like, oh, let me, let me like, you know, purchase some libations for these beautiful, these two young, beautiful women. And, um, this, this is, this is the crazy part is like, okay, this is like, one of the only times I can remember from college, being bought a drink at a bar was by a blind guy and his friend was there with him.

• 1:30:06Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, that's a Family Guy joke.

• 1:30:08Speaker 06

  He, his friend was definitely saying to him like, dude, like you just bought two fat chicks like drinks, like don't, you know, don't whatever. But I was like a muscular size fourteen with like awesome tits and like a beautiful smile in college. I'm now I really am like, you know, a, a true fatty.

• 1:30:30Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:30:31Speaker 06

  But then it was like, I don't know. I guess I'm just wondering like, are, are men really that fat phobic?

• 1:30:38Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, yes.

• 1:30:40Speaker 06

  Is that the sense, do other men know that other men are fat phobic? Is that something that we're talking about? I just feel like I did not get as much play as I should have as a striking, you know, size fourteen beauty. Um, so yeah, that blind guy bought me drinks. His friend told, told, you know, told him that we were two fat chicks and not to go for it. It was just that one round, um, and his seeing eye dog was named Jamal. And the guy was white. Who named that dog Jamal?

• 1:31:13Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, let's relax.

• 1:31:13Speaker 03

  Okay, yeah, right.

• 1:31:15Stavros Halkias?

  Let's not.

• 1:31:15Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:31:16Stavros Halkias?

  This is part of the problem.

• 1:31:20Stavros Halkias?

  Let's just stay on the thing, let's not try and juice romantic society, start making calls and issues.

• 1:31:26Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:31:26Stavros Halkias?

  Jamal is a fine name.

• 1:31:28Speaker 03

  Who named that fucking dog?

• 1:31:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:29Speaker 03

  A black man?

• 1:31:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:33Stavros Halkias?

  Let's leave the dog out of this. Um, yes, look, I get that, I get, I mean, I know what you mean, like, I remember being, looking at pictures of myself, where I was like, like in col- like, my whole life, I've thought I was like, too fat.

• 1:31:47Speaker 03

  Me too, yeah.

• 1:31:47Stavros Halkias?

  You look at yourself in college, and it's like, I was handsome, like, I was not bad looking at all, like, I have fucked a, as an atrocious looking man. And if I had my confidence at that age, it's like, I was a, and so like, you know, I don't doubt that like, you know, you look at college you, and you're like, yeah, what the fuck, I should have been getting a little dick, and maybe you were, maybe you were, you know, insecure in ways you shouldn't have been. Um, are men fat phobic? I mean, is society incredibly fat phobic? Yeah, I mean, truly.

• 1:32:16Speaker 03

  I've seen more men lately come out and say, I need a little cushion.

• 1:32:19Stavros Halkias?

  That's coming.

• 1:32:20Speaker 03

  But you know, guys, when they say that, they mean like tits and ass on a skinny girl.

• 1:32:25Stavros Halkias?

  Tits you've ever seen in your life.

• 1:32:26Speaker 03

  But not like a fully regular fat person, yeah.

• 1:32:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are people.

• 1:32:29Speaker 03

  Jamal probably was into.

• 1:32:30Stavros Halkias?

  The dog?

• 1:32:36Speaker 03

  Jamal wanting that fat ass washing.

• 1:32:39Stavros Halkias?

  She's back on wilding out mode, folks. Maddy takes out a fucking dope patch, she's like.

• 1:32:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:32:44Stavros Halkias?

  Jamal, fat bitch.

• 1:32:46Speaker 03

  Jamal, seen our dog named Jamal.

• 1:32:50Speaker 03

  He tried to get in them sheets. He bought us some Hennessy.

• 1:32:57Speaker 03

  Hilarious.

• 1:32:58Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's good stuff, um.

• 1:32:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I, yeah. What do you think, are guys, what do you think, guys, like, in, every guy's kind of different.

• 1:33:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, here's the thing, I do think there are people who are attracted to fat people.

• 1:33:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:33:10Stavros Halkias?

  That because of the stigma.

• 1:33:13Stavros Halkias?

  Won't admit it, like, like, there's definitely a thing of, there's a, there's a culture, especially like, young guys, where it's like, they're fucking women in a very gay way, where they're doing it to show their boys, and they're doing it to like, gain points amongst their male friends.

• 1:33:31Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 1:33:32Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm, there are people who are definitely attracted to bigger people, that won't, probably wouldn't do it, or like, even, even this example of like, that guy was having a good time. And it's like, and probably, it's not that he didn't wanna keep talking to you, because he bought you some drinks, whatever.

• 1:33:48Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:33:49Stavros Halkias?

  Like, it's just that, he val- he valued his friend's approval at that age, more than he did, cuz it's not a sure thing he gets to fuck you. It's a coin flip whether he gets to fuck you or not.

• 1:34:02Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:34:02Stavros Halkias?

  But it's a hundred percent, his, he, he scores points with this boy, if he disses you or whatever, right?

• 1:34:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, true.

• 1:34:10Stavros Halkias?

  So like, I think that happens a lot, and I think you are right about, you know, about, about like, unfortunately, yes, fat people get treated worse, and I'm, I definitely, I, I'm all about acceptance and, and like, you know, living your best life, whatever, but I also, I just know that I've been treated better by people when I weighed less.

• 1:34:31Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:34:31Stavros Halkias?

  When I weighed less, I know that it's like, these are, I'm in the perfect type of like, like, my life is very hilarious, cuz it's like, some people treat me so, like, I am internet famous, and I look like shit. And I live in an immigrant community.

• 1:34:47Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:34:48Stavros Halkias?

  And immigrants really don't fucking care about fat people, right?

• 1:34:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:51Stavros Halkias?

  And so, the, the wa- the swings of, like, politeness, customer service, the way people treat me goes from like, whoa, oh, you're fucking, including like, hot women to men, whatever.

• 1:35:05Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:35:05Stavros Halkias?

  I get treated like fu- like, insanely famous and like, I'm the man, right? And then, I will go to a restaurant, and like, people will be like, they'll look at me, they'll be like, ew, like a waitress will be like, scared to like, you know what I mean? Like, they'll just see the fattest bald, weird bald, fat Greek guy, that they're like, ew, disgusting.

• 1:35:24Speaker 03

  Everyone in the restaurant's like.

• 1:35:26Stavros Halkias?

  And so, I know firsthand that like, yeah, like, I have, I have cultivated a life where I get treated good, and then even people who don't fuck with me, it's like, because of my personality, I can talk my way into getting friends or whatever, but- There is no way around it. Society treats you bad if you are ju- a fat person and they don't think they can get anything out of you.

• 1:35:50Speaker 03

  Agreed, especially for women.

• 1:35:51Stavros Halkias?

  Especially for women.

• 1:35:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:35:53Stavros Halkias?

  And, and that's what sucks too is like, there might be guys that, that are attracted to you, but it's like, then they might mistreat you because that like, society just like, you know, that like, that like, let me see your fucking tits.

• 1:36:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:36:04Stavros Halkias?

  Like, there's a meme going around where it's like, uh, um, it was just like, you know, talking to a man as a fat girl and it's just like, a guy being like, show me your nipples, we'll call your nipples. It's like, it's like, hey, how you doing? Like, matching on a, on a dating app as a fat girl. It's like, they see you as less than, they just,

• 1:36:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:36:21Stavros Halkias?

  This is just truth, right?

• 1:36:23Speaker 03

  They'll see fat girls and think like, oh, they're, they're so fat and they're so like, self empowered, that they probably fuck.

• 1:36:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:36:31Speaker 03

  They probably fuck like crazy.

• 1:36:31Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally.

• 1:36:32Speaker 03

  Because they've had to live in that fat body.

• 1:36:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't want to just be taken out on a nice date like any other human being.

• 1:36:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:36:40Stavros Halkias?

  They want to come over and suck my dick.

• 1:36:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, they want,

• 1:36:44Stavros Halkias?

  you know what they say, they're good at sucking dick, fat whores.

• 1:36:48Speaker 03

  Fat chicks.

• 1:36:48Stavros Halkias?

  So it's like, unfor- and look, I don't know what the, and this is just reality from your fat pal Stavros. Right? And like, um, you know, it's tou- it's just very tough. I'm like, you're treated worse. And so, if that's the feedback you're looking for, yes. Unfortunately, uh, we're going to confirm your worst fears. And that's not saying that's everybody, right? That's not saying that like, everyone treats you that way, but it's like, on balance, it's just harder. And I totally feel for fat women because it's so much easier to be a fat guy.

• 1:37:23Speaker 03

  It's crazy. When I was in college, I, I was always like, kind of like athletic growing up, probably how she was talking.

• 1:37:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:28Speaker 03

  Then I lost all this weight in college, like, went down to like a hundred twenty pounds.

• 1:37:32Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 1:37:33Speaker 03

  The guy started,

• 1:37:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:34Speaker 03

  First time in my life ever.

• 1:37:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:36Speaker 03

  Then gained it all back.

• 1:37:37Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:37:38Speaker 03

  For research, obviously.

• 1:37:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. For this call.

• 1:37:41Speaker 03

  It was a first sociology class. And then, uh, no one, like, no one looked at me. If anything, they were like disgusted.

• 1:37:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:48Speaker 03

  It went from like, they were flocking to me like, "You're beautiful."

• 1:37:52Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:37:52Speaker 03

  "I have to tell you, you're beautiful."

• 1:37:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:54Speaker 03

  To like, right, be right through me.

• 1:37:56Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:37:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:58Stavros Halkias?

  That kinda shit?

• 1:37:58Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 1:37:59Speaker 04

  I will say too, we talk about this all the time, how like, yeah, we look at pictures of ourselves in college when we felt so fucking fat. And now we're like, oh, wow, actually, I would kill to get back to that fucking weight now.

• 1:38:10Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:38:11Speaker 04

  And it's like, well, you know, the bottom line is like, you were still in college when everyone was less fat and just looked better. Cause they were like, younger or whatever. And, you know, in college, if anything, like, just the unfair, whatever, dating standards are like amplified by like, fucking eighteen to twenty-two year olds. That being said, one day you're gonna look back at pictures of yourself now, like ten years down the line and be like, oh, what? I would kill to fucking be back there.

• 1:38:39Speaker 03

  Now, too, yeah.

• 1:38:40Speaker 04

  So you gotta think like that. And it's like, you know, just feel, just feel good about yourself now and like, do whatever you can to gas yourself up a little. And that, just that alone will make like, dating feel better and like, you know.

• 1:38:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:38:55Stavros Halkias?

  No, you're right. And I also wanna say this, and Maddy, your grandfather didn't because you were a fat drunk in college.

• 1:39:00Speaker 03

  Thanks, I appreciate that.

• 1:39:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right? So we'll, we'll let you stay on, but everyone who's not fat, turn the podcast off right now.

• 1:39:07Speaker 03

  Please, turn it off.

• 1:39:07Stavros Halkias?

  If you're not fat, you gotta give us a couple of minutes here, okay? You gotta lose a little weight.

• 1:39:14Speaker 03

  A little, there's, it's empowering.

• 1:39:17Stavros Halkias?

  I hate admitting this around non-fat people.

• 1:39:19Speaker 03

  It's empowering.

• 1:39:19Stavros Halkias?

  It feels good. It, it, no one should be treated bad, cause they're fat. We agree on that.

• 1:39:24Speaker 03

  Agreed.

• 1:39:24Stavros Halkias?

  And definitely, skin, like, people who just got a genetic lottery and don't eat as much and don't like,

• 1:39:31Speaker 03

  Of course, it sucks that they exist. It sucks Sydney Sweeney exists and I do too.

• 1:39:34Stavros Halkias?

  Well, yeah, but, but it sucks the people that are, feel superior because they just got, this isn't their issue, right? Like, like, and it is unfair that it's like, it's such a, And it's, humans are so simple that it's a visible, they just look at it. And you just, anyone who's visibly different, and then they can, these people have nothing going on in their lives like, well, at least I'm not a fat piece of shit. At least I have willpower. Meanwhile, they have gonorrhea, they are, they are cocaine addicts, whatever, like, yeah, exactly. Being pieces of shit. Whatever, right? They, it's unfortunate that being fat is one of the things everyone feels superior to. Because that, humans are base and ugly if we really get down to it.

• 1:40:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:40:16Stavros Halkias?

  But, you just gotta lose a little weight. And you can't feel sorry for yourself, like, being like, like, what's your, what's the crux of this question? Why didn't I get more dick when I was hot, right? Why didn't I get more dick in college? It's like, you can't feel sorry for yourself. Uh, society's unfair, but we still have to, like, we have to still swim in these waters. And it's not fair, whatever, you're allowed to be fucking mad about it, but you also should lose a little weight, you'll feel better.

• 1:40:44Speaker 03

  Feel good.

• 1:40:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's not sa- like, sometimes we overdo the like, acceptance is one thing, and not being treated bad is one thing, but I can tell you as a person who has been fatter than I am now, I felt bad. Like physically bad, like I just didn't, I felt unhealthy, and even now, it's like, I'm working to lose weight because the older you get, the harder it is on like your joints, everything, your heart, whatever. And you'll just feel better, it's good for you. We're not saying you gotta fucking, you know, have a drastic thing, but it just-

• 1:41:17Speaker 03

  Get some steps, drink some water.

• 1:41:19Stavros Halkias?

  Look, look and feel a little better, and I, I really do mean, feel is the important part.

• 1:41:24Speaker 03

  Agreed.

• 1:41:24Stavros Halkias?

  But unfortunately, losing weight does make you feel better. And like, you can't, I, I know, this deck is stacked against you, but you can only feel sorry for yourself so much, and you have to work hard. And you, you know, hopefully you'll find somebody who's supportive, hopefully you have friends in your life who are supportive, because I've seen that too. I've seen people who just like, are the butt of their friend group, as the fat person, right? Like, surround yourself around people who are, are helping you be the best version of yourself possible, you know? That's striking beauty still there, and like Elda said, like, you're gonna look at pictures of yourself now, even if you do nothing, and be like, in the future, be like, fuck, why don't I look like that? But- Just, you'll feel better, I promise you.

• 1:42:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can do little steps at first, just to feel a little movement, some water. Weigh yourself every day.

• 1:42:14Stavros Halkias?

  Watch Stavi gets ripped.

• 1:42:16Speaker 03

  Watch Stavi gets ripped.

• 1:42:17Stavros Halkias?

  We have, we have a fitness series where the person is incredibly fat and is making very slow progress. Okay, watch that. But anyway, okay, everybody who's not fat can come back in now.

• 1:42:28Speaker 03

  Hey, you guys.

• 1:42:29Stavros Halkias?

  What's up? Don't worry about it. Well, don't worry.

• 1:42:31Speaker 03

  Little pep talk.

• 1:42:32Stavros Halkias?

  Don't worry about what we were talking about. It's not your business.

• 1:42:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:42:35Stavros Halkias?

  It is not your business. All right, what else we got, Eldis?

• 1:42:41Speaker 03

  Here we go.

• 1:42:42Speaker 06

  Hi, Stavi. Uh, my name is Emily.

• 1:42:44Stavros Halkias?

  Hello, Emily.

• 1:42:45Speaker 06

  I have a thirty-six year old email. I'm calling in today about, uh, a little dilemma that I've been having as I talk to my friends about a guy that I've just started seeing. Um, so we hooked, we've been on a couple of dates, uh, we hooked up for the first time, um, really normal, wonderful guy. Uh, but has a Prince Albert piercing?

• 1:43:10Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:43:10Speaker 06

  Um.

• 1:43:11Speaker 03

  Is that cock on the cock?

• 1:43:12Speaker 06

  Which I did not comment on at all. Uh, but as I've told friends about this, because this is the first of these I've ever encountered. Um, there's been a lot of debate about what that means about him, what that says about him.

• 1:43:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's a strange move, honestly.

• 1:43:30Speaker 06

  And a lot of debate as well about if I should ask, like, was this a recent thing? Why did you ask this?

• 1:43:38Speaker 03

  It's right there.

• 1:43:39Speaker 06

  Um, and a lot of my friends have said that they think he was probably surprised that I didn't ask or didn't comment on it at all, as though this is something that I see every day. Um, so just wanted to get your thoughts on, does this say anything about this human? Should I ask or inquire about it? What do we think? Thank you so much. Love the show.

• 1:44:02Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I mean, yeah, he's, he was like, he does want to be asked about it. You don't fucking pierce your cock.

• 1:44:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:44:09Stavros Halkias?

  Because you want, because you want to be, keep everything low key.

• 1:44:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:44:12Stavros Halkias?

  He's clearly like proud, you know, he gets, he probably gets off on being so like, straight laced otherwise.

• 1:44:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:44:21Stavros Halkias?

  And having a pierced dick.

• 1:44:22Speaker 03

  And having like all her friends be like, ask him about it.

• 1:44:24Stavros Halkias?

  He loves this, he loves this. And look, what that says about him, he's, he's a little bit of a freak.

• 1:44:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:44:29Stavros Halkias?

  That's fine, nothing crazy, like, whatever. I've seen pierced, pierced titties, A+. But I've seen some pierced pussies, you know what I mean? Yeah, I've seen a little bit of that.

• 1:44:39Speaker 03

  I, yeah, I don't think it says anything about him. I don't think it says like he's a neo-Nazi or anything, skinhead, so weird, I think. It just means he maybe had an edgy, I had a belly button ring once, I don't know.

• 1:44:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh shit, yeah.

• 1:44:49Speaker 03

  And people said, people would, you know, put their hands over and say, who hurt you?

• 1:44:55Stavros Halkias?

  No, that was a classic. I mean, people of our age, belly, but I did a lot, you know, there, that was definitely a thing going around.

• 1:45:01Speaker 03

  Everyone, yeah.

• 1:45:02Stavros Halkias?

  Did a lot of beating off the belly button rings.

• 1:45:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, totally.

• 1:45:04Stavros Halkias?

  Christina Aguilera dirty.

• 1:45:06Speaker 03

  Oh yeah.

• 1:45:06Stavros Halkias?

  You know?

• 1:45:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh, fire, she was dirty in that. Yeah, yeah, you can ask.

• 1:45:12Stavros Halkias?

  He can ask, he wants you to ask, for sure.

• 1:45:14Speaker 03

  Oh, that thing, um.

• 1:45:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, this whole thing?

• 1:45:18Speaker 03

  It's probably some college or 20s Vegas trip of sorts.

• 1:45:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, it's funny to ask about it, especially if you don't, like, the fact that you're cool with it, that's, then it's totally fine to ask, you know what I mean?

• 1:45:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, and if you've, you've seen it already, you can ask.

• 1:45:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:36Speaker 03

  What's with that dick piercing?

• 1:45:36Stavros Halkias?

  Like, if I see some shit like that, like a piercing or a pussy tattoo or some shit like that, I'll just, you, I do, you just can't help but remark on it, just be like, even a quick, like, that's awesome.

• 1:45:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:45:47Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? I feel like that's probably the most, like, ooh, hell yeah. The most I've done. But like, it is funny to not have the immediate, like, ooh, you know what I mean?

• 1:45:56Speaker 03

  It is, yeah.

• 1:45:57Stavros Halkias?

  The fact that she's like, like, I've had girls done that because I'm uncircumcised, not, not because I have a fucking piercing, you know, so maybe you just need to be, you need to work on like.

• 1:46:06Speaker 03

  Ow!

• 1:46:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:46:11Speaker 03

  Different.

• 1:46:18Stavros Halkias?

  Hit, as soon as I bust, you gotta hit the bricks.

• 1:46:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:46:22Stavros Halkias?

  Um, no, but, but I've never gotten like, actually, there's been only like one real negative, but yes. Still, some people make comments about shit like that.

• 1:46:30Speaker 03

  It's a Prince Albert in some ways, because it's like, got a cape, like a hood.

• 1:46:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. He's like a, he's like a duke. He's got his protective layer. What is it? Who's roused me from my slumber? It's better be pussy and not jacking off again.

• 1:46:46Speaker 03

  Otherwise, oh, yes, oh, it's the hand.

• 1:46:49Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, the hand again.

• 1:46:52Speaker 03

  I'm staying in.

• 1:46:54Stavros Halkias?

  Be quick about it. If it's the hand, be quick. Um, yeah, you can ask, there's nothing wrong about it. Don't, it'd be weird to never bring it up.

• 1:47:04Speaker 03

  Right, yeah.

• 1:47:05Stavros Halkias?

  That's crazy.

• 1:47:06Speaker 03

  Can't we just ask? I don't think he's gonna be, why'd you ask about that?

• 1:47:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and also, this sounds, this sounds like you need to, you need to be a little more, uh, sorry, forthright. Because it's like, you're good at hiding your initial reaction to things. And that's, that can be good in some situations.

• 1:47:22Speaker 03

  Agree, yeah, you should just say stuff.

• 1:47:24Stavros Halkias?

  Just say stuff. The sooner something makes an impression on you, the sooner you say it. The more freeing you'll feel.

• 1:47:30Speaker 03

  You're sitting on it, and you're sitting on something that easily you can say right out loud.

• 1:47:34Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:47:34Speaker 03

  So what happens if he does something else, and for four weeks, you and your friends?

• 1:47:37Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:47:38Speaker 03

  What would I do?

• 1:47:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is good.

• 1:47:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's good to get into a rhythm of just saying stuff.

• 1:47:42Stavros Halkias?

  Is a good, like, um, uh, test. It's a good, um, fuck, bellwether, whatever the fuck.

• 1:47:49Speaker 03

  Whatever the fuck. Litmus.

• 1:47:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, litmus, that's good, yeah, canary in the coal mine, a lot of good stuff. It's still not what I'm looking for, but who cares? I don't fucking care. Fuck this podcast.

• 1:48:00Speaker 03

  Fuck this fucking podcast.

• 1:48:03Stavros Halkias?

  Um, all right, what do you think, Big L? Do you got one more for us here?

• 1:48:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, this is an update from an early episode with Mark Norman's first step.

• 1:48:13Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:48:14Speaker 04

  It was a guy who called in, he was a 31-year-old virgin. And he was close to getting pussy, but the girl told him that, uh, she's like religious or something, and she said, "This won't work, and we shouldn't fuck, because God doesn't want you to have sex right now."

• 1:48:29Speaker 03

  Word, okay.

• 1:48:30Speaker 04

  He has a little, he has a little-

• 1:48:32Stavros Halkias?

  The fact that he didn't become a fucking mass shooter.

• 1:48:34Speaker 03

  Right, I'm shocked.

• 1:48:35Stavros Halkias?

  A miracle.

• 1:48:39Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead.

• 1:48:40Speaker 04

  So let's see how our buddy's doing a few years later.

• 1:48:42Stavros Halkias?

  A few years later, let's see.

• 1:48:43Speaker 03

  Okay, let's see.

• 1:48:44Speaker 07

  Hey, Stobby, this is.

• 1:48:48Speaker 07

  Sorry, didn't realize my name.

• 1:48:50Stavros Halkias?

  We can bleep it out, buddy.

• 1:48:52Speaker 07

  Um, this is the thirty-one-year-old, uh, virgin who called in on episode fourteen with Mark Norman and, um, I'm thirty-three now.

• 1:49:02Stavros Halkias?

  I like that Eldis has no, this is how short-term Eldis producing does. Mark Norman is gonna do an episode in like a week or two. And like, God forbid, we fucking bring it all full circle. How Eldis is just, every episode like, ah, I need a couple calls, I need a couple, oh, this'll be good, this'll be good. He's on the schedule, we've talked about getting Mark on. God forbid you do a little thinking in advance, Eldis.

• 1:49:27Speaker 03

  Hilarious.

• 1:49:31Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway.

• 1:49:33Speaker 04

  I'll, I'll brief him after.

• 1:49:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can, you can tell him. Oh, wow, crazy.

• 1:49:37Stavros Halkias?

  It's not for Mark's sake, you fucking moron. Like, Mark gives a fuck about this guy, it would just have been good to do. It just would have been a good.

• 1:49:51Stavros Halkias?

  The professionalism of the show, but anyway.

• 1:49:53Speaker 03

  All good.

• 1:49:56Speaker 07

  Called in on episode fourteen with Mark Norman and, um, I'm thirty-three now, uh, no longer a virgin. I guess I kind of took your advice, um, but long story short, um, I, I got godzoned, I think was the term I used.

• 1:50:15Stavros Halkias?

  Godzoned.

• 1:50:16Speaker 07

  And you suggested that I go have some fun, so I did. And lost my virginity to a Peruvian girl, very nice.

• 1:50:24Stavros Halkias?

  Peruvian, nice.

• 1:50:25Speaker 07

  Have to say, I lived up to the hype, um.

• 1:50:27Stavros Halkias?

  Lived up to the hype, getting pussy. He's like, you know what? Pussy checks out.

• 1:50:33Speaker 03

  Gotta say, it's.

• 1:50:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:35Speaker 03

  Yeah. I, I, I know, sometimes you try something and you're like, oh, that's what people say.

• 1:50:40Stavros Halkias?

  You know, I'd never seen The Godfather and you know what? People are right about it, man. It's, it is fucking good. It is good, yeah. It's awesome to be like, yeah, pussy was awesome.

• 1:50:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:50:51Stavros Halkias?

  Respect.

• 1:50:54Speaker 06

  Unfortunately, and this is the crazy part, uh, she did give me herpes.

• 1:50:59Stavros Halkias?

  No! No!

• 1:51:04Speaker 03

  Oh herpes!

• 1:51:05Stavros Halkias?

  Herpes!

• 1:51:06Speaker 03

  I thought you were screaming about Mardi Gras.

• 1:51:07Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no, not beads.

• 1:51:09Speaker 03

  I thought you were screaming about anal beads.

• 1:51:11Stavros Halkias?

  Herpes!

• 1:51:11Speaker 03

  Herpes! No!

• 1:51:15Stavros Halkias?

  The first time he fucked, he got herpes?

• 1:51:17Speaker 03

  Now he has, every time he fucks, he has to tell him he has herpes?

• 1:51:20Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe the other girl was right about God.

• 1:51:22Speaker 03

  Yes, seriously.

• 1:51:23Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe he's got, wasn't meant to get pussy, holy shit. Okay, okay.

• 1:51:27Speaker 03

  Damn! That sucks.

• 1:51:29Speaker 06

  So, that's pretty hilarious.

• 1:51:33Stavros Halkias?

  It is, yeah.

• 1:51:34Speaker 06

  Anyways, uh, it was a bit prompted by another, I, I got into another relationship after I got Godzoned. That girl ended up, uh, getting impregnated by one of my coworkers after we broke up, but still, pretty rough.

• 1:51:49Speaker 03

  This guy cannot get to break.

• 1:51:51Stavros Halkias?

  So a girl breaks up with him and gets, oh my god, that's so, this was, the, the girl who got impregnated is not the God one, right? It's a different one. Another relationship, it was another one, it was.

• 1:52:02Speaker 03

  That was the herpes one, right?

• 1:52:04Stavros Halkias?

  No, this is a different girl that he dated, I guess. After getting herpes, whatever.

• 1:52:09Speaker 06

  Getting impregnated by one of my coworkers after we broke up, but still, pretty rough. So, I guess my question for you is, how should I handle that?

• 1:52:20Stavros Halkias?

  Handle what?

• 1:52:23Speaker 06

  Um, I am a busy guy, so I can't,

• 1:52:26Speaker 03

  I'm a busy guy.

• 1:52:26Speaker 06

  I don't have time to listen to every single episode you put out, so I'm gonna go ahead and shoot you and Eldis a Venmo over and hope, Eldis, if you have time, uh, email me or, uh, text me or Venmo me back and let me know which episode I'm on. Alright, thanks, I'll go, I'll see you in Portland, sorry.

• 1:52:44Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, okay.

• 1:52:45Speaker 04

  If you're listening, I take payola, no guarantee will play your call, but go ahead and Venmo me all you want.

• 1:52:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:52:52Speaker 04

  And that definitely can't hurt.

• 1:52:54Stavros Halkias?

  It can't, and I have nothing to do with this for the record.

• 1:52:57Speaker 03

  But, you know, put in your bed.

• 1:52:59Stavros Halkias?

  We just get a hundred, like, so is Compton getting back together? Eldis makes a thousand dollars?

• 1:53:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:53:05Stavros Halkias?

  So, um, what's Nick Mullin like?

• 1:53:07Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:53:09Stavros Halkias?

  Cause Eldis wants to fucking eat a Chipotle for free.

• 1:53:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:53:14Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like, hey Eldis, the calls have gotten kinda weird lately. He's in a fur coat.

• 1:53:17Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:53:18Stavros Halkias?

  He's wearing diamonds. I don't know what you're talking about, man. I think they've been very engaging calls.

• 1:53:23Speaker 03

  Gilded Kane.

• 1:53:28Speaker 03

  Okay, so what do we do about this? Dude, stay busy and keep meeting bitches.

• 1:53:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:53:33Speaker 03

  Is that what he's asking?

• 1:53:33Stavros Halkias?

  Herpes not a big deal. Is he talking about what he's supposed to do about his ex getting impregnated? Cause nothing.

• 1:53:41Speaker 03

  He's like, this is my life now.

• 1:53:42Speaker 04

  I think just about all of it. He just doesn't know what to make with his bad virginity luck here.

• 1:53:48Stavros Halkias?

  Which, look, it's tough, but you know.

• 1:53:51Speaker 04

  That's a bad O for two to.

• 1:53:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, it is.

• 1:53:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:53:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it ain't great. It ain't a great start.

• 1:53:58Stavros Halkias?

  Herpes, no condom?

• 1:54:01Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:54:01Stavros Halkias?

  Outbreak?

• 1:54:02Speaker 03

  Herp, no condom.

• 1:54:03Stavros Halkias?

  This is the problem with no, no sex education. This guy's going to fucking, he's going to Catholic school.

• 1:54:09Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:54:09Stavros Halkias?

  He doesn't know.

• 1:54:10Speaker 03

  Exactly. Yeah, they're all sinners.

• 1:54:12Stavros Halkias?

  Like to.

• 1:54:13Speaker 03

  You can't kill the calm with a condom.

• 1:54:16Speaker 03

  So then he gets herpes from a Peruvian.

• 1:54:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that fucking South American strain. That extra fiery strain of herpes.

• 1:54:24Speaker 03

  Fire herpes. Fire ants.

• 1:54:29Stavros Halkias?

  Montezuma's Herp Venge.

• 1:54:34Stavros Halkias?

  So, look dude, it's rough. You getting your ass fucked here by life. That's okay. Happens to the best of us.

• 1:54:41Speaker 03

  You fucked, so that's good.

• 1:54:42Stavros Halkias?

  You got that out of your system. And look, herpes is not that big a deal, honestly. We talked about this before. Now, did I just get my blood work back? I'm clean as a whistle.

• 1:54:52Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:54:52Stavros Halkias?

  I ain't one of you motherfuckers, but.

• 1:54:54Speaker 03

  Me too, and it's one out of three, so.

• 1:54:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Uh oh, that's true, one out of three.

• 1:54:59Speaker 04

  Don't look at me.

• 1:55:00Stavros Halkias?

  Statistically, I was just like, I'm married, I will never take another STD test. I don't need to know what the results are. Neither does my, whatever I've got, she's got.

• 1:55:10Speaker 03

  Pass.

• 1:55:14Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so, uh, but yeah, we, uh, JP has a great joke about it. It's like, um, and here's the thing, if you're dating within the herpes community, you got access to some of the finest pussy, pussy slingers out there. That's the, to quote, to quote JP's joke, it's like, you know, the best chefs have burns on their

• 1:55:34Speaker 03

  That's so funny.

• 1:55:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, you date some of the herpes, they fuck.

• 1:55:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, so, so you've just, you've graduated to the next level of getting pussy. If you stay within the herpes community, and even if you don't, take your fucking pills.

• 1:55:48Speaker 03

  Take your pills, manage your outbreaks.

• 1:55:50Stavros Halkias?

  Manage it, like, it's to- like, it's totally fine. People fucking, people have partners that don't have herpes, as long as they stay with their

• 1:55:57Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:55:58Stavros Halkias?

  On their

• 1:55:59Speaker 03

  Do you think he should tell everyone every time he fucks, I, he has herpes, or just manages?

• 1:56:03Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta tell people when you have her- you gotta, you gotta be like, and it is tougher for a man. Because like, I, like, women have called in, we're like, look, if you tell someone right before you're about to fuck, having been in this situation.

• 1:56:17Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:56:17Stavros Halkias?

  Where I'm like making out with a girl, I'm sucking her titty, she's like, by the way, I take my meds, whatever, whatever, I have herpes, I'm like, I don't care, I don't fucking care.

• 1:56:24Speaker 03

  Don't care, yeah.

• 1:56:25Stavros Halkias?

  Get some pussy right away, I want pussy. Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy.

• 1:56:34Speaker 03

  Like, we're a school cafeteria, gun room.

• 1:56:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:38Speaker 03

  Food fight.

• 1:56:39Stavros Halkias?

  So it is harder for men, I think.

• 1:56:41Speaker 03

  It is harder, yeah, because we don't have that point of no return, boner.

• 1:56:44Stavros Halkias?

  When your dick is hard and you're like, ah, ah, I have to fuck.

• 1:56:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, do like game theory in your head, okay, fine.

• 1:56:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I've gotten a couple of over the pants tugs, I'm ready to go, right?

• 1:56:55Speaker 03

  Um, but women appreciate more

• 1:56:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:58Speaker 03

  you telling them up top.

• 1:56:59Stavros Halkias?

  But you, you look, here's the thing, dude, we told you go out and have a little fun, but also, you're a pretty wholesome guy, there's nothing wrong with going on some dates, dating,

• 1:57:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:57:08Stavros Halkias?

  dating with the intention of being in a relationship, whatever. You got a nut off, you liked fucking, this is an obstacle, God did, it

• 1:57:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:57:17Stavros Halkias?

  If this, if actually if I were you, I would just maybe dedicate my life to the church. Because God probably doesn't want you to fuck now.

• 1:57:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's gonna send another

• 1:57:26Stavros Halkias?

  If you immediately got herpes, it's like, yeah, this was the first of the pestilence, he sent your dick.

• 1:57:31Speaker 03

  Set next up locusts.

• 1:57:35Speaker 03

  And then flooding, so good luck. Like, God is sending down the fucking plagues or whatever.

• 1:57:40Stavros Halkias?

  He's gonna get crabs.

• 1:57:43Speaker 03

  And yeah.

• 1:57:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:57:45Speaker 03

  AIDS bleeding.

• 1:57:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:57:48Speaker 03

  I definitely wrap it up in the future.

• 1:57:50Stavros Halkias?

  Definitely wear some condoms and, you know.

• 1:57:54Speaker 03

  Condom.

• 1:57:55Stavros Halkias?

  What are you gonna do, man? Hey, that's life.

• 1:57:58Speaker 03

  That's life.

• 1:58:01Speaker 03

  That's life.

• 1:58:04Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, that's a tough one, brother, but we salute you.

• 1:58:07Speaker 03

  Sucks.

• 1:58:09Stavros Halkias?

  If only that fucking religious bitch would have given you a little pussy.

• 1:58:12Speaker 03

  I know, because you know it was clean.

• 1:58:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. It wasn't good, but it was clean. That's, you know, what are you gonna do? Well, we feel for you and, you know, you're on this episode.

• 1:58:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, so I will email you.

• 1:58:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, well, Elders will email you. That's hysterical. That is a guy who hasn't fucked until he's 31. So, um, obviously, if you could just email me personally.

• 1:58:34Speaker 03

  Let me know when I'm in.

• 1:58:36Stavros Halkias?

  That's how this shit works.

• 1:58:37Speaker 03

  People message me, let me know when you're back in Chicago.

• 1:58:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:58:41Speaker 03

  The fuck am I gonna do that?

• 1:58:43Stavros Halkias?

  I'll keep tabs. Um, all right, man. Well, good luck. Maddy, thank you. This was great. You were so funny.

• 1:58:50Speaker 03

  Thanks for having me. Fire time as usual.

• 1:58:52Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, great time. Um, go, uh, go see Maddy on the road. Follow her on Instagram. We'll plug all this stuff. We'll add links to it. And, uh, come see us on the road. We're in the Dreamboat Tour right now and, uh, we'll see you next time, guys. Bye bye. Peace.

• 1:59:52Speaker 00

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