Sebastian Maniscalco OPENS UP "I Struggle With My Inner Critic" How He OVERCAME Anxiety & Self-Doubt

Have you bought your tickets to Summit of Greatness 2024 yet?! Get them before they sell out at lewishowes.com/ticketsWelcome back! Today, Lewis interviews the incredibly talented comedian Sebastian Maniscalco. They dive into Sebastian's journey from waiting tables in Hollywood to becoming a comedy sensation. Sebastian shares his insights on perseverance, the importance of family, and the behind-the-scenes struggles of his career. He opens up about the challenges of balancing work and personal life, dealing with self-doubt, and the pressure to constantly evolve. Lewis and Sebastian also discuss the significance of gratitude and how to find joy in the moment despite the chaos of life and work. In this episode you will learnHow Sebastian transitioned from waiting tables to selling out arenas. The role of perseverance and self-belief in achieving long-term success. The impact of family support on pursuing unconventional dreams. The challenges and pressures of maintaining success in the entertainment industry. The importance of gratitude and living in the moment. For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1639For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Eckhart Tolle – https://link.chtbl.com/1463-podRhonda Byrne – https://link.chtbl.com/1525-podJohn Maxwell – https://link.chtbl.com/1501-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  Hey everyone, this is Lewis Howes and I am so excited to invite you to the Summit of Greatness 2024, happening at the iconic Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, California. This is more than just an event, it's a powerful experience designed to ignite your passion, boost your growth, and connect you with a community of other inspiring achievers. Join us Friday, September 13th and Saturday, September 14th, for two days packed with inspiration and transformation from some of the most incredible speakers on the planet. Don't miss out on this chance to elevate your life, unlock your potential, and be part of something truly special. Make sure to get your tickets right now and step into greatness with us at the Summit of Greatness 2024. Head over to lewishouse.com/tickets and get your tickets today and I will see you there.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  My negative voice is with me daily. Is this the last day? Anybody gonna come to the show? Anybody gonna buy tickets? Are you doing enough? Are you funny? Are you as funny as you were five years ago?

• 0:58Speaker 02

  Today we're joined by Sebastian Maniscalco. An actor, a comedian, a writer, probably one of the most brilliant performers alive. The new king of comedy.

• 1:06Lewis Howes?

  Sebastian Maniscalco!

• 1:09Speaker 01

  I'm almost editing as I'm talking. Really? Yeah. If I speak more openly, I'm extremely sensitive and emotional. I tend to say things that might be a little abrupt and brash, but I mask it with humor. A lot of these moments that have happened in my career, I could have never imagined, you know, me doing a movie with De Niro and Pesci and Pacino. I wasn't really enjoying it. I was nervous, had anxiety. It was like, can I do this? But again, in my head, always looking at the negative. I'm done. It's over. I'm going home. It's never, oh, they're probably talking about how great I was. That's insane to think that. My mom and my dad are divorced. Mom's always gonna pick up the phone. Really?

• 1:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, always. You think they're always gonna be there. I told myself I wasn't gonna get emotional, but...

• 2:06Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness. We have the inspiring Sebastian Maniscalco in the house. Welcome to the School of Greatness.

• 2:14Speaker 01

  Thanks for having me on. Appreciate it.

• 2:15Lewis Howes?

  Very excited, man. You've got, uh, me and my fiance were watching your, your comedy specials a couple of years ago and I was like, one day I gotta get Sebastian on here and talk about his life because the more I researched about you, it wasn't just like, okay, I'm gonna sell out Madison Square Garden five times in a row, which is what you've done. I'm gonna sell out, you know, this arena tour around the world, which is what you've done and have all these Netflix specials and movies and TV shows and you've become a massive star. But as I started to learn about your background, you were a waiter for seven years in Hollywood, just trying to figure out how to make a few bucks. And it was hard to get a job as a waiter for you. And what I want to know is how do you emotionally and mentally, in a time and a season of life

• 3:00Lewis Howes?

  where there's no social media really, back then, how do you work full-time, but also go on the road full-time to make a name for yourself and go for your dreams? And I also read a quote that you said, um, about how long are you gonna give yourself? Your mom asked you on this dream, this crazy comedian dream when no one can really make money back in the day when you were kinda getting into it. She asked you how long are you gonna give to yourself until you make it? And you said, if I give myself a time limit, I'm setting myself up for failure. How did you have the belief in yourself during those early years as a waiter that you could actually make a full-time living, making people laugh and

• 3:44Lewis Howes?

  bringing comedy to the world?

• 3:46Speaker 01

  Well, uh, for me, I always knew I had an ability to make people laugh throughout my whole life, my childhood, uh, with my friends, with my family. So I knew I had something there, just like an athlete would know that, okay, I'm, I'm faster than everybody else. I could jump higher than everybody else. I kinda had that with my comedy. I was a huge fan of stand-up growing up. I would watch it like game tape.

• 4:14Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 4:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would watch.

• 4:16Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  Video after video after video, just mesmerized. How are they doing this? How are they remembering all this? I used to go to comedy clubs when I was 15 years old with a girlfriend that I had at the time who snuck, knew the guy and snuck us through the back door. This is in Rosemont, Illinois. Uh, so I had confidence.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Now, you come here in 98, you know, I don't know, a soul. I started looking for a job. Um, I end up at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills waiting tables. But I didn't come out here to wait tables. But also, I'm not the type of guy to sleep on somebody's couch. So I came out with 10 grand. I wanted to have a cushion. It's not like Guns N' Roses, he came out, you know, Axl Rose with like a guitar and $4 in his pocket. Right, right. I've always been like responsible. You know, coming out here, my mother was like, what are you gonna do for health insurance? You know, like a lot of, like, a lot of, like, entertainment types don't even bother with health insurance. Like, I had a Cobra plan.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  Uh, so it was a priority for me and my family that I was like covered with health insurance. So, um, I got this job and then I started doing, uh, stand-up wherever I could, open mic nights. Uh, I took a stand-up comedy class just so I would, uh, have a supportive environment around me. Um, cause I didn't really do stand-up until I came out here. I did it once where I went to school at Northern Illinois University. Mm-hmm. But then, uh- Edwardsville? Uh, DeKalb. Okay. DeKalb. Yeah, I went to school in Illinois for a little bit too. Oh, you did? Yeah. Where? Principia College, small school near, near Alton, Illinois. Don't even know where that is. Hour from St. Louis. Okay.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  On the Mississippi River, anyways. Alright. Um, so, coming out here, I, I was determined to learn how to do this. And I knew it wasn't gonna be easy. I knew it was gonna take a while. Comedy, I heard, stand-up comedy, you don't really get your voice until maybe seven to 10 years into it. Uh, you know, there are exceptions. Eddie Murphy had it big young. Um, but I knew that I had to really put the time and effort it was going to take. It's like bodybuilding, you know, it's like, you're not gonna, you're not gonna look the way you look overnight. It takes time in the gym, it takes diet, it takes dedication. So I knew that.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  That's not to say that I, I, there was one point in my life where I called my father. I go, I don't know what the hell's going on. I've been doing this for five years. I'm still waiting tables. I'm not really making any money at this. You know, I was discouraged, not ready to quit, but just needed like a pep talk.

• 7:04Lewis Howes?

  Did you have any momentum? Were you like, were people laughing at the shows you were doing? Were you getting audiences to show up? Did you build a name?

• 7:12Speaker 01

  Not in five years. I didn't have like a fan base. I just was bouncing around. I, I, I took a, a kind of a different approach than a lot of comedians. A lot of comedians come out to Los Angeles from a place that they were already doing stand up, whether it be Chicago, New York, Florida.

• 7:27Lewis Howes?

  And they were like the king or the queen of that city.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's like, oh, it's time to go. Where I came and I didn't do any comedy anywhere other than here. So I had to kind of make my bones around town, which at that time, there was not a lot of opportunities for our stand up comedy. There's not a lot of clubs here in Los Angeles compared to New York. I think New York's got 21 comedy clubs here. It was like four major clubs. But, uh, you know, taking gigs wherever you could get them. I mean, if I had to go to Modesto for 50 bucks, which is, is a far drive, I would go because they were giving me 45 minutes worth of time. And then here locally, you get 15 minutes. So that extra half an hour for me was worth the drive. So, so you call your dad. I call my dad, you know, he's, you know, I did this in college too.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  Cause my first semester of college, I was discouraged because of, uh, I was, I was failing. I was, I was, I had a 1.2 grade point average out of four my first semester. Cause I was shocked to be away from home. I was living with a roommate that I didn't know. Just having a tough go of it. Just tough. Called home, called my parents, you know, they kind of set me right. Just it's because I was ready to quit. They're like, don't, don't quit. Stay there. Just, you know, stay the course. So same thing here. I called home.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  Waiting, waiting for like, just to make some money. That's all I want. I didn't want to like fame and fortune. I never got into this for fame or any money, nothing. This is something I got into strictly because I enjoy putting a smile on people's face. That's it. I think a lot of people go into some of these things for the wrong reason.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  And I, I was not, uh, I had a work ethic like, I worked constantly when I was a teenager. Whether it be Owen Mills Portrait Studio, Olive Garden. I was glazing ham and honey baked ham. There was no like, you know, you come home from college and then you get like a spring break. There was none of that. It was like, where are you working? Right. Cause you got seven days to make some money. What's that temp job you can get right now? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was with a temp agency, anything to get money. Just because my dad is psychotic when it comes to work. He's still working. He's 77 years old. He's still, he's a, he's a hairdresser and he's still, uh, doing die jobs. So,

• 9:55Speaker 01

  I'm not, I'm very, I'm willing to put the work in. Yeah. So, um, at that, at that five year point, I was just kind of a little discouraged just because I didn't really see a lot of progress in the sense of making a living at this. I was making people laugh. I just was, you know, didn't book any, go on auditions, which was awful for me. I hate auditioning. Sitting there in a room sweating and doing something that is not really natural to me. Amen. But, you know, kind of reset myself and then, uh, just said to myself, you know, you can't really look at other people's successes and, and, and

• 10:37Speaker 01

  say, hey, that guy got a TV show. How come I didn't? Everybody's got their own course. You might, you might not realize it at the time, but. If you're worried about other people, what they're doing, you're kind of taking the focus off yourself. So the only thing I could really concentrate on was just being as funny as I could be. That's it. That's the only thing I had control over. I didn't have control over how many people were gonna come to the show. I didn't have a control over when I was going to get paid for this. The only thing I could do is like, how funny can I get myself to be? And then after that, hopefully, that will be enough to start making some, a living out of it. But I would say every year, I found myself getting better and better and better.

• 11:20Speaker 01

  It's not, it's not, it's not like I went on stage and no one was laughing. I knew I had it. It's just, when is it gonna kind of turn?

• 11:29Lewis Howes?

  When is the audience gonna build? When is the money gonna come? The gigs, the opportunities? So when you called your dad for that pep top, what did he say to you then?

• 11:38Speaker 01

  You know, he just basically said, you know, the same thing. He said, it was both my mom and dad said, you know, you went through this during college. You wanted to give up during college. It's not that you want to give up now. But, you know, you spent five years there and nothing. We have a saying in our family, like the Maniscalcos always have to go through the tough road to get where we want to go. It's never been easy for my family, never. It's always been like, you know, if someone went from A to B, we're going A, B, C, D, E. And then, you know, then we get there.

• 12:10Lewis Howes?

  The longest way possible.

• 12:11Speaker 01

  The longest way possible. There's never a shortcut.

• 12:13Lewis Howes?

  Climb every mountain.

• 12:14Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's never like, oh my God, you know, you made it a year in? No, it's always been gotta, gotta work for it. So, you know.

• 12:25Lewis Howes?

  Did your mom say, hey, I told you like, maybe, you know, you should have given yourself a time limit? Or like, hey, maybe you should get a real job now. Or hey, you know, it's like, maybe it's time to give this up. I'm just doing it on the weekends for fun.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  I don't think there was ever a point where my parents encouraged me to give this up. I mean, even though my mom said that in the beginning, I think my mother saw that I had an ability or talent to do this and was super supportive. I mean, my family, coming from an immigrant family, generally speaking, the arts are discouraged just because there's no stability, there's no health insurance. What are you gonna do? You know, start a family? So, but my case, they were go for it, get it, uh, pursue it. And uh, thank God I had that support system because, you know, this is, it's a tough road.

• 13:19Speaker 01

  And if you got your parents telling you, come home, and it's like, everybody's against you.

• 13:24Lewis Howes?

  But I've also heard you say that your dad is like pretty critical of you too, right?

• 13:28Speaker 01

  Very. He was early on. I, I think it's subsided over the years because we've had some discussions where I had told my father, listen, because my father is always on my shoulder whispering, you know, better write material because people are coming back to spending money. They don't want to hear the same thing. You better be on your game. He's even said to me, you should do your act the same way every night from, from front to back. Not a word out of place. And I'm like, Jesus, like I don't work that way, Dad.

• 14:02Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  Um, he's a, he's a creative too. He's a hairstylist. I said, you do the same hairstyle night in and night out? And you gotta like, this is.

• 14:09Lewis Howes?

  Get bored. Yeah, yeah.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I get bored. I gotta switch it up. But he, he got so intense with my like, you, why did you leave out this line in this joke? That's the funniest thing in there. Like, because you know, I don't know, I forgot it or I didn't want to do it. But um, yeah, my, my parents have been critical of my, of, of what I do and also super proud of what I do.

• 14:36Lewis Howes?

  Right. So they're encouraging, but they're also like, but you could have done it better. It's like, keep going after it. We support you, but why'd you mess that up?

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. There's no big head. You can't get a big head in my family. There's the, you know, they're, they don't want you to, and you know, I'm seeing that a little bit with my kids now. I mean, I think you take from your parents and go, this is what.

• 14:59Lewis Howes?

  Works well.

• 14:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, works well. And this is what, what doesn't. Um, but you know, my daughter does a recital or my son does a game. Yeah, they're young, they're five and seven. I know that, that they could do better. So I, I, I, I see what my parents were seeing in, in me, potential. You could do better. You, you, you gotta commit more. And I see that sometimes with my kids. So I get it. I get, I get the parental concern when it comes to your kids.

• 15:26Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  If they're, if they're reaching their full potential. So, but there's a time where.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  You know, I mean, I've reached a certain level of success where it's like, okay, daddy, you know, some, something is working here. But then also it could be the fact that they're always pushing me to do better.

• 15:43Lewis Howes?

  And he might be saying, well, it's because I'm on top of you all the time, right? It's because I'm critical of you. That's why you're successful.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:48Lewis Howes?

  You never know.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:49Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious, before you go on stage, whether it be at a local comedy store here in LA or at Madison Square Garden, do you have a negative voice that speaks to you that day, that hour before? If so, what is that negative voice? And do you combat it with anything? Any tool or strategy or mantra or personal statement to support you to overcome that negativity before going on stage?

• 16:19Speaker 01

  I don't have a negative voice prior to doing shows. My negative voice is with me daily, like on a, like on a daily basis.

• 16:29Lewis Howes?

  Like, what's it, what's it sound like? What's the voice saying to you?

• 16:33Speaker 01

  It's, it's, it's a variety of things. So we were talking before this started of like, when's this gonna end? Is this the last day? You know, anybody gonna come to the show? Anybody gonna buy tickets? Are you doing enough to? Are you funny? Are you as funny as you were five years ago? Have I peaked? This is, this is constant.

• 16:55Lewis Howes?

  Every day.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:58Lewis Howes?

  Kind of a general.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  It's a kind of a general like voice in my head that are you spending enough time with your family? You know, what are you doing in, what are you doing in Montana at a, at a show when your kids at a recital? And that's, they're never gonna be able to see that recital again. That's a one moment in time that that's happening. Then you combat that voice with, my kids are seeing me work. And when they see that, they might emulate that when they get older. Like daddy was working. He wasn't sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn all day. Sometimes I think kids, you know, they ape to behavior of their parents. So the, the fact that they're seeing their father and mother work.

• 17:41Speaker 01

  For me is like you're giving them a template of this is how and I'm coming from where I come from in the north, the northwest suburbs of Chicago, the Midwest. I grew up working, middle-class family. We went on one vacation a year. There was not a lot of abundance, but we were never starving. We were never, you know, our clothes were, you know, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, that type of deal. And I liked the way I grew up. I liked the way that my parents, you know, brought me up manners. You know, we went to the Chicago Bulls game to see Michael Jordan, but I was sitting in the, in the obstructed view. Trying to look around. Look around. Yeah.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  So now, very conscious that my kids are growing up in a completely different environment, completely different city, seeing things that probably I've never seen as a kid. So my objective is always to tell my kids, you know, my daddy's working, but you know, what, you know, all fun things that we do, we wouldn't be able to do those things if daddy didn't work. And you guys, a lot of people don't get to do these things, you know, so, you know, we go to Disneyland and we had, we had a guided tour once. I grew up at Disneyland, I was sitting in the line for, for two and a half hours, right?

• 19:06Speaker 01

  Now, it's, it's, it's, it's an interesting dynamic because I work so hard to get to a place where I don't really have to stay in, stand in the line. Cause I don't want to stand in the line. No. And if I have the opportunity to do this, to enjoy it, why wouldn't I? But then also, I'm also conscious of my kids, I don't want them to think. That if they go to Disneyland with another family that doesn't have a guide, that that that that family is looked as lesser than or what have you. So I'm I'm constantly preaching to them these lessons.

• 19:46Speaker 01

  Because very easily, and I seen it, like people that, "Hey, let's go to the front row to game," and they don't explain to their kid that this isn't necessarily a normal thing for a lot of people in the world.

• 20:02Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 20:03Speaker 01

  So.

• 20:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, man, it's tough. It's tricky.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I gotta learn to enjoy these moments. Because if I'm always pining over, "Are the kids gonna grow up to be spoiled?" You know, like, then it's like not fun.

• 20:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, of course. Have you, I mean, I've heard you talk about money, how you struggled with money and how to spend it. And, you know, you didn't grow up with abundance, but you also didn't have a horrible childhood. But it sounds like there's still a mentality today, and I think you're 51, is that right?

• 20:32Speaker 01

  We should be one in a couple of weeks yet.

• 20:33Lewis Howes?

  51. It sounds like today that you're constantly thinking about, "How do I earn more? How do I make more? How do I save more? I don't want this to end. Is it gonna end someday? So I have to keep working to make more money." Are you able to enjoy your money that you're making? Or is it a constant anxious feeling around making money, having money, seeing it at the bank, seeing it leave, seeing it come? What is that psychologically for you?

• 21:04Speaker 01

  Wish my wife was here. She's complete opposite. She's she's a spender. Well, she's not. She's like, "Let's enjoy ourselves," rather than sit here and pine over the fact, because, you know what? You can do this, whatever business you're in, whether it be tech or or you're running a pizza, whatever it is.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  You could always say, I'm gonna work, I'm gonna work, and more money, more money, more success. By the time, you're 80 and you're in a wheelchair and you're like, what the hell just happened? That's why we're talking about this book, Die With Zero. Like, what are we saving for? What is the main objective with this money in the bank? What are you doing with it? Are you going to start a charity foundation and pass it on to charity when you die? Pass it on to your kids? That's another thing. It's like, do you give your kids this type of money? And them knowing that, does that take away their motivation to do anything for themselves? I've seen this happen with a lot of wealthy families where the kids are coasting because they know,

• 22:12Speaker 01

  look at daddy, when he dies, I get this, or I got a trust fund, or what have you. So, I just wish I could, and I'm getting better at it. I am getting better at it. But then also too, I have no template for this. Like, I can't call my dad and go, Dad, when you had this, what did you do? You know, yeah, there's other people that I could maybe confide in. But also too, you know, I've never been a guy that like, money was something that you never talked about growing up. My father often said, don't you dare tell anybody what I make.

• 22:46Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 22:47Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:48Lewis Howes?

  Very hush, hush.

• 22:48Speaker 01

  To this day, I don't like to like, you know, people go, oh, how much money do you make during the show? I don't, I'm not a, I'm not that guy. I don't flaunt what I have. I don't, you know, if I'm doing something that's kind of special, it's special. But it's special to me and my family. It's not necessarily special to social media. I'm not the one to grab my phone all the time and go, look where we're at. You know, it's just not who I am. It's, I find that behavior a little gross and immature. And, but I am getting better at kind of letting loose. Not that I'm cheap, I'm not cheap. We do great things.

• 23:32Speaker 01

  But like, for example, you know, remodel our house, like, what's the extent of the remodel?

• 23:38Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you could go unlimited spend. You could spend forever.

• 23:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, do we get a new kitchen? Or like, once you get the new kitchen, then you look at the other room? We've gone through this, like, we just wanted to do something and then it starts, it starts metastasizing throughout the house. And before you know it, it's like, we should have knocked down the house. So all these decisions that and another weakness that I have is decision making. I can't make decisions like there's a lot of people that just remodel. We're going on vacation in June. We're gonna go see your mother in December. Me, I sit there and I pine and by the time I make the decision that the the date's gone. You know, where are we bringing the kids on this tour? What cities, you know, still, well, if we figure if we go from Connecticut to Florida,

• 24:25Speaker 01

  that's gonna be a long, you know, it's like, it's like some people are just like, let's do. And I, and I, and I look at those people and go, man, I wish I had a little bit of that in me.

• 24:35Lewis Howes?

  Wow. Do you, do you find it's hard to make decisions in your comedy career? Because you have a lot of different things going on. Do you feel like I need to say yes to everything because I don't want the money to stop coming in? Or I'm, I'm in a hot season right now and I don't want that to die down. So I have to say yes to everything. Or can you make better decisions? Yes and no on things in your career?

• 24:58Speaker 01

  I think career wise, I'm a little bit more disciplined on my decision making.

• 25:01Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 25:01Speaker 01

  I don't take a lot of things. I'm not that guy.

• 25:04Lewis Howes?

  Why is that?

• 25:05Speaker 01

  Uh, I always want to keep my profile elevated. I don't want to do anything that's just to do it. So when I do a TV show, I, this, the show I'm doing now, Bookie, is, is an elevated look for me. It's something that I feel passionate about. It's something that I really enjoy the people I'm working with. Um, and it kind of goes, I, I've worked so hard to build up my stand up comedy to where it is. I don't want anything I do to be less than what I'm, what I'm really good at. So I don't take a lot of things that, that are just low hanging fruit.

• 25:44Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 25:44Speaker 01

  Like if I'm, you know, gonna do a, a collaboration or a brand deal, not that I do a lot, but I'm gonna make sure that that, that kind of fits within my pillars of what I do, whether it be, you know, food, family, being Italian, like I don't want to do anything outside of. Of my.

• 26:05Lewis Howes?

  Unless it's, unless it's COVID and you gotta do Zoom calls all day, right? To make money.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  Well, then COVID hit and then I was like, it's funny because my dad always said, you don't know when it's gonna end, right? And you're, you know, your toe could fall out tomorrow. And COVID happened.

• 26:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 26:20Speaker 01

  And thank God, because I was fine. I, you know, I thankfully had enough to get me through. I saved and, and that, I don't even want to dip into that. So I was doing Zoom comedy for corporations, but not like, I heard people were doing like comedy with a microphone in their living room to people. Mine wasn't like that. I said, okay, how could we adjust here? And it was more of a conversation. So it was like, there was a moderator and I was funny in the delivery of me answering the questions to a group of people on Zoom. So it wasn't like cheesies.

• 27:01Lewis Howes?

  I, I remember the 2008, 2009, I was on my sister's couch for a year and a half. I was planning to try to make it in the NFL. I played arena football. I got injured. And then that was the end of 2007, 2008. I had a surgery. I was in a cast for about six months. So I was sleeping, sleeping on my sister's couch in Columbus, Ohio at the time. And I remember the feeling of having no money and not being able to find opportunities during 2008, 2009. I don't know if you, where you were at then, were you still?

• 27:34Speaker 01

  I was at the comedy clubs. I was making a living, but I was making like 1,200 bucks a week.

• 27:38Lewis Howes?

  Right. But this is like, this is when the housing market crashed and it was just like, you know, people with masters couldn't get jobs. And I was like, I'm, you know, almost a point out of college. How am I gonna get a job? And I remember thinking to myself, I never want to be in this situation again when the next thing happens. So when 2020 happened, I was like, I'm ready for this because I had saved and I invested. I was like, Bring it, you know, mentally. I didn't like that it happened, but I was like, I am financially ready now for winter. And we were talking a little bit beforehand. I was like, I always saved and just, you know, rode in the backseat of, uh, you know, every plane, middle seat, cheapest flight I could

• 28:21Lewis Howes?

  get, multiple, uh, connections, whatever it is to save money for years. And then I realized, okay, there, maybe there's a time for that, but there, we have to unlearn those things once we're generating more also and start using our money a little bit more.

• 28:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:36Lewis Howes?

  Um, what does your wife think about with the amount of abundance that you've created for your family over the last, you've known her for 15 years, married, I think 10.

• 28:47Lewis Howes?

  But you weren't financially abundant when you really met her.

• 28:51Speaker 01

  No, but she comes from, um, means.

• 28:55Lewis Howes?

  More means.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, than I did. Uh, so my wife is kind of used to, uh, being around wealth. So for her, I mean, and, and to her credit, I mean, when I was doing comedy clubs in Addison, Texas on Beltline, we stayed at the Doubletree and she was right there with me, although she might've been used to staying at five star hotels. She was right there with me and she was out there selling DVDs while I was taking pictures. So she was not spoiled by any means. She was, she's just a, a super, super positive person, always walking around with a smile on her face. And you never

• 29:41Speaker 01

  would have thought she was from, you know, that, that, that part of the world. So my wife is extremely, um, proud of what we have been able to accomplish. And I say we because she's a huge part of what I do. Yeah. You see me do stand up, but she's working behind the scenes as well as a lot of people are to kind of create what we, what we've created. So my wife's an artist and she kind of tackles all things visual with whether it be merchandising or posters, or how is this going to look, photo shoots, what have you. So she's.

• 30:17Lewis Howes?

  She, she represents your brand. She supports the image of you.

• 30:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. And she's a Virgo and she's very, very particular, but perfectionist by.

• 30:28Speaker 01

  All stretches of the word. I mean, like, you know, like even. To criticize everything in here. Well, not that criticize, but like even you got coming up with the school of greatness. Like, how does that look? Should we tilt it this way? Should we tilt it that way? You know, and I'm more like, eh, it looks good, you know? And she's more like, you know, should we take the of and, and, and make the other words curse it? Like, wants to see a lot of different ways it could be done. Wow. So, what's her birthday? September 6th. Okay. Yeah. Why? What are you? I'm Pisces. Oh, you're Pisces. In March, but my fiance's Virgo. She's August 20. Oh, is she, uh, very specific? Yeah, she's an artist too. I mean, she's an actress and writer, producer, and yeah. So you know, you know what I'm going through at all? Exactly, yeah, exactly.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  Um, what's the thing you love about your wife the most? What do I love about my, uh, just the, just the optimism, like anything's possible. Um, she is super social, which I'm not. Really? And she has. Are you more introverted? Yeah, definitely, definitely, uh, not the life of the party. Come on. No. If you, if I know you, we're gonna have a good time. If, mm, you know, I don't, it takes me a while. I'm like souffle, you know? It takes me a while to. To get ready. To warm up, yeah, yeah. To warm up. You're more reserved around people you don't know. Yes, very laid back, very. But when you're doing stand-up, you don't know the audience.

• 31:59Speaker 01

  I don't know the audience. I feel stand-up is completely different than, uh, going to a party or going to a dinner with a group of people that I'm unfamiliar with. I tend to, even going golfing with three other guys I don't know, or I'm, I'm, I'm quiet. I'm just quiet. I, I, I like to listen first before I start opening my mouth. I don't like to, I don't share a lot of my, uh.

• 32:29Speaker 01

  Personal views or about me a lot. You know, like I come on these things too. It's like, you know, how much do you share? You know, coming into this like,

• 32:40Speaker 01

  you know, do I?

• 32:41Lewis Howes?

  Who's this Louis guy? I'm gonna open up to him and tell him my whole life.

• 32:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of people. I've seen your show. You know, some people sometimes they break down a little bit. They get emotional. I've gotten emotional. I was on Gayle King and I got, I was crying with my, my father on, on an interview. So it's like, you know, how vulnerable are you gonna be on these things? You know, I'm sure like people, you, you could tell some, someone might have their guard up a little bit. Like they're not gonna like and give you a lot. So yeah, that's, it's always like, even in nowadays, it's like, I know this is gonna go out to a ton of people. And you, you know, you say, oh, anything that you don't want in here, we could edit out or whatever. You know, but like, you know, I'm always, I'm almost editing as I'm talking.

• 33:23Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 33:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What do you think would happen in your life if you didn't edit before you spoke? I mean, obviously we wanna be mindful of what we're saying at all times and not just blurt out mean things. But if you spoke more openly from your heart, do you think something would change?

• 33:40Speaker 01

  Um, if I speak more openly, I'm extremely sensitive and emotional. So my fear is always going down the wor, like, I, I could cry at any moment. I just want to go see if the.

• 33:54Lewis Howes?

  Oh, I saw that this last weekend.

• 33:56Speaker 01

  Did we ball?

• 33:56Lewis Howes?

  Dude, it's beautiful. Yeah.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  So it's the music and oh, man. So, so not that I'm fearful of crying. It's just sometimes like, oh, do I really wanna go down this road today?

• 34:12Speaker 01

  So, and you ask, oh, what would happen if I was unfiltered? I tend to say things that might be a little abrupt and brash, but I mask it with humor and it comes out, you can laugh at it. Or it doesn't come out as, I get my point across, but I make you laugh as I'm doing.

• 34:34Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  If, but there is a part of me that could come out if I don't do it with humor, could be a little aggressive.

• 34:43Lewis Howes?

  Like a jerk or something?

• 34:44Speaker 01

  I wouldn't say a jerk, it would be a little, um, you know, I don't wanna say inappropriate, it would just be a little.

• 34:51Lewis Howes?

  Insensitive.

• 34:52Speaker 01

  Insensitive, yeah.

• 34:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that makes sense.

• 34:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:55Lewis Howes?

  Interesting. I've had a, I've had a lot of comedians on here, um, and I'm curious, who are two or three when you were kind of in the scene early on, that you really looked up to, that you still respect today?

• 35:13Speaker 01

  Um, when I started comedy, when I came out here in 98, I really enjoyed watching Bill Burr.

• 35:22Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, man, he is funny.

• 35:23Speaker 01

  Funny cat. I got into the elevator of where I was living in the apartment complex, and first day I lived there, Bill Burr's in the elevator.

• 35:31Lewis Howes?

  Come on.

• 35:33Speaker 01

  And I was like, stunned. I was absolutely stunned because, you know, you're in Hollywood, you see these people on TV, and it's a far cry from northwest suburbs of Chicago. I always thought Hollywood was a, growing up, like, where do these people live?

• 35:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, but they're out in the streets.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  But they're out in the streets. And now I'm seeing it firsthand, like, Bill Burr's in the, in the elevator? So gracious, he invited me, I even opened up, I said, "Bro, I came out here, I'm a huge fan, I'm starting comedy out here," and he's like, "You wanna come to the show tonight at The Laugh Factory?"

• 36:09Lewis Howes?

  Come on, he did not.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  So he invited me to the show at The Laugh Factory that night, first night I'm here.

• 36:12Lewis Howes?

  Come on.

• 36:13Speaker 01

  I'm at The Laugh Factory.

• 36:14Lewis Howes?

  The first day you got to LA?

• 36:15Speaker 01

  First day.

• 36:16Lewis Howes?

  Shut up.

• 36:16Speaker 01

  It's crazy. I couldn't, couldn't believe it. I literally couldn't believe that I ran in, it was almost like kismet, it's like I ran into a comedian I respect and, and thought was super funny, and now he's inviting me to a show. Um, so, yeah, he, he's one of the guys that, um, was an inspiration for me, and, you know, friends with him to this day, he comes over once in a while for the kids' party, so, um...

• 36:45Speaker 01

  Who else did I enjoy? I mean, I've always been a Seinfeld fan. And then subsequently met him years ago.

• 36:53Lewis Howes?

  What was that like doing the, recently you did a stand up with him with Netflix?

• 36:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, we did myself, Gaffigan and Bergatze at the Hollywood Bowl.

• 37:01Lewis Howes?

  What was that like? Growing up watching Seinfeld and then being on stage for after him? As like the same level essentially?

• 37:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, you know, I felt that feeling when he invited me on the comedians in cars like, here's a guy, grew up watching.

• 37:21Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh.

• 37:22Speaker 01

  His show and now, I looked at that show as like, he was like our Johnny Carson. Cause we didn't have Johnny Carson. So I felt like if Seinfeld thought you were funny, then you kinda like were in the club.

• 37:32Lewis Howes?

  He gave you the nod, right?

• 37:33Speaker 01

  The nod, like come sit down on the couch.

• 37:35Lewis Howes?

  What was that like?

• 37:37Speaker 01

  It was surreal. I mean, we're whipping around Los Angeles in a 1969 Camaro. And then when I went to New York, he invited me back on the show again and we were on Vespa's. Going through New York on Vespa's. So yeah, a lot of these moments that have happened in my career, I could have never, I could have never imagined, you know, me doing a movie with Scorsese, a guy I had posters on my wall and De Niro and Pesci and Pacino. I mean, it's really, I mean, and in the, again, enjoying those moments when they're happening. Cause I wasn't really enjoying it. I was

• 38:24Speaker 01

  nervous, had anxiety. I was like, can I do this? I mean, before I got out of my trailer, I go, I'm gonna go do a scene with Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci with Scorsese directing.

• 38:35Lewis Howes?

  I haven't, I haven't acted really. I mean, I've done a handful of things. Skits or something. Yeah, yeah.

• 38:41Speaker 01

  It's like, you know.

• 38:43Lewis Howes?

  What was that like? How did you perform?

• 38:45Speaker 01

  I didn't sleep for two nights before the scene. And when I went to rehearse with them, it was just ironically enough. They took the Gotham Comedy Club in New York and they made it the Copacabana. So I'm literally performing, acting in the same club that I started performing in New York. Come on. Years later. Come on. Or years earlier, so. In a way, did you feel more comfortable because you'd been on that stage? Yeah, I was on the comedy club, but it didn't look like the comedy club, obviously, but.

• 39:19Speaker 01

  That's surreal, man. Surreal. And then when I came out there to meet them, I didn't know, like, you know, like, here, to relate it to what you do, you got someone that's coming in that you're gonna interview, maybe that you admired as a kid. Sure. And the night before, you're almost playing these, how's that gonna work? When he comes in or when she comes in. Are they gonna be cool? Is it gonna be good or good vibe? They're gonna have a lot of people with them. Are they gonna like, like, you know, so set up or whatever, you know? That's me, the night before. How's this gonna work? Are they gonna come in? Are they gonna, do they think that I know what I'm doing? Cause I don't. Yeah.

• 39:59Speaker 01

  But very gracious, very nice.

• 40:02Speaker 01

  And now we're gonna do the scene and then we do the scene and they yell cut. And De Niro and Pesci and Scorsese get in a huddle without me. I'm the only actor that they're not talking. Like, did I do something wrong? Am I messing up? I thought I was fired. But, you know, they've done, they've been working together for 40 years. I got a shorthand, so, but again, in my head, always negative. Always looking at the negative. I'm done. It's over. I'm going home. It's never, oh, they're probably talking about how great I was.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  So I don't know what that is and I don't know who, who, who thinks otherwise. I, I, you know, like, we were talking, you seem a very positive guy and grateful and this. And I'm grateful that we get to live in Los Angeles and I saw a seven-year-old kid who was selling candy.

• 40:56Speaker 01

  And I'm sitting there listening to that, I was like, wow, man, I, I sometime, I'm, I'm about LA. What the going on? This ain't the LA I knew when it came out in 1998. Look at the on the street, that this and that, crime and infrastructure. Taxes. Taxes. So I'm, I'm that guy. Where you're the, hey.

• 41:19Speaker 01

  It's sunny today. How blessed are we?

• 41:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 41:22Speaker 01

  I ain't that guy. Which, you know, I, people like you, I'm like, wow. It's nice to be around.

• 41:28Lewis Howes?

  It's a practice, you know, I can be in a, I can be in a negative state. Whenever I wanna be and it's. And then at the end of the day, I'm like, that's not a good day. I didn't feel like I had a good day. Like me complaining about everything that's happening or what I don't have. Doesn't make me feel good and the energy isn't supporting my fiance, my friends, my team. They're probably all feeling my energy too. And it doesn't mean just make every day positive, even when stuff's going bad. But it's also. When I'm in the practice of, okay, what can I do? You know, I ran three miles this morning to make sure I get out any frustrated energy, right? I'm gonna lift later, probably. I'm gonna get in the sauna, you know, you're starting to do the ice tub, which you don't like.

• 42:10Lewis Howes?

  I heard you complaining about that on social media, you know, it's like, I'm doing things that I think is gonna give me more peace. And so it's. It's a practice.

• 42:18Speaker 01

  It's a practice. I agree with you. However. In my line of work. I am. Looking at.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  To make a living almost, cuz it, a lot of what I do is, is funny.

• 42:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's true. Like nobody wants. Seinfeld too, it's kind of like, you know, in a different way. It's like, how can you find the negative of things? And speak about it.

• 42:40Speaker 01

  I went out last night and there's a service charge now on, on when you go out to dinner. It's a service charge and then tip, right? So if I don't, I have a take on that. And it's a.

• 42:50Lewis Howes?

  Plus tax on top of that.

• 42:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. So it's a, it's a, I'm [__] about that, but it's, and, and it's funny. I've, I've realized there's nothing funny. Funny doesn't come from like, oh, if there's a service charge, that's fine. I'll pay it. That's not like, people are not gonna like, laugh at that. People are gonna laugh at the fact that, what are they trying to do? Rip me, you know, like it, it, it becomes humorous.

• 43:14Lewis Howes?

  Or like the tipping culture now, it's like when you buy something at a kiosk, it's like default is 25% tip.

• 43:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. Or you're kind of a jerk if you say no. Well, then they almost shame you into the tip. They'll turn it around. They'll go. Hide out. It's gonna ask you a few questions. Ask you a few questions? Why don't you just tell me? It's gonna ask me if I wanna pay you more money. Right. Um, but yeah, I mean, there is something to be said about living your life in a positive way and how that that positivity affects people around you. Because if you are positive, you're right. Your fiance is going to be a lot happier with you. Your coworkers or your employees are gonna be much more happier rather than you walking around with this negative cloud over your head. So, and again, I don't wanna paint a picture like I'm walking around with like just negativity. It's just my thought process is always.

• 44:06Speaker 01

  I give an example. Uh, doctor wanted to change my appointment, like we were gonna go over some blood work. Can we can we do this 15 minutes earlier?

• 44:19Speaker 01

  I read into that. I, I think, oh, they found something in my blood and they needed extra 15 minutes to tell me I'm gonna pass away. Right? Really? That's, again, funny. Yeah. Funny. Yeah, yeah. Right? But, like, who the hell would? Normal people go, oh, yeah, no problem. We'll do it at 10 o'clock. I go, why? Why are you switching this? Yeah. Cause my blood's screwed up? You know, like, that's insane to think that. Right. But that's part of what makes me, as a performer, funny. Yes. Cause I'm looking at that and I guarantee you, other people, maybe not you, but if I say that on stage tonight at the Comedy Store.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  They'll laugh their. Because they're laughing. I laugh too. Yeah, they're laughing at my neuroses. Uh huh. No, it's interesting. I mean, it's like, I played football and it's.

• 45:17Lewis Howes?

  I have compassion, I'm gonna be careful what I say here, but I have compassion for some football players when they are trained by their coaches to be killers for three hours in practice. And then all of a sudden, you're supposed to switch it off and be like this almost loving zen human being. When it might take a few hours when you're driving back home, where you're like, still kind of got that testosterone rage feeling where you're screaming at someone in the car, or you're just quick with someone, or you're whatever, because you've been physically pounding against another human being for hours in practice. There takes time to like, step into kind of almost a new identity, a new personality, a new human. And that's not easy to do when you're trained to be a certain

• 46:00Lewis Howes?

  way, and you're paid to be a certain way, and you're celebrated to be aggressive if you're an athlete like that, where you're celebrated to be neurotic. You're paid more

• 46:12Speaker 01

  It's funny.

• 46:12Lewis Howes?

  by living in that way of thinking for those hour, two hour sets that you do. And then to just go back and be like, life is beautiful. Thank you for this 20% upcharge. And you know, I'm blessed to pay taxes in California. It's like.

• 46:29Speaker 01

  Well, I never thought of it that way. It's funny that you put it in those terms and kind of correlating it to a, you know, a trained almost killer out there. And then he's got to come back and.

• 46:38Lewis Howes?

  Be like this loving husband.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  Loving husband. Yeah, I get it. Like, I'm paid to think a certain way. How do you shut that off when it comes to everyday life, which for me is, that's, you make, you make a good point of it. I'll definitely, definitely leave here today, thinking more about what you just said than, and trying to apply it.

• 47:01Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, but I'm assuming that, I mean,

• 47:05Lewis Howes?

  correct me if I'm wrong, I'm assuming that. All day, you're looking for those moments to set up for material.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  It's not that I'm looking, it just hits me.

• 47:13Lewis Howes?

  Hits you, but you're you're like, you're writing it down, you're memorizing, you're thinking about it, you're telling someone, oh, did that land? And it's just a constant, you're looking out and you're seeing it, or it's hitting you. And it's part of your daily thought process. Because that's what makes you funny. Otherwise, you don't just sit down for two days and say, let me think about the last three months and how I can make funny material.

• 47:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, always a hypersensitivity of what's going on around me, which could be great when it comes to being a comedian, but also could act as a something as a negative, because you see things maybe that other people are not seeing.

• 47:48Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  I've run into this with my wife where, you know, she might meet somebody and not kind of see what I'm seeing and what they're doing or how they're behaving.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  And, and, you know, and she's like, can you just like, you know, and I go, I can't. It's almost like a, it's like, I relate it to an allergy. If you're allergic to peanuts, and I brought peanuts in here, you are either going to start coughing, sneezing, whatever, you don't have any control of that. That's the way I look at comedians.

• 48:20Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 48:21Speaker 01

  It's, it's like, it's like an allergy. We react to the environment around us and we're unconscious about it. It's just, it's happening. It's like we're, we're constantly having an allergic reaction to society.

• 48:34Lewis Howes?

  And then you're using that as material. Going back to what you said, you know, Scorsese, De Miro are huddling after you do this scene, and you're not in the huddle. And you're thinking to myself, I'm fired, I was horrible, I can't believe I screwed this opportunity up. What happens next?

• 48:53Speaker 01

  We gotta do better.

• 48:54Lewis Howes?

  They came to you?

• 48:55Speaker 01

  No, me, on my head.

• 48:56Lewis Howes?

  But what, what happened though after that?

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Nothing, do it again?

• 49:01Speaker 01

  I don't know what the hell they said, but we're doing it again.

• 49:06Speaker 01

  And then as time went on, over the course of the day, doing the same scene over and over and over again. And Scorsese would come out and give me a note. Joe Pesci came out and he started directing me a little bit.

• 49:18Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 49:18Speaker 01

  Which I was like, eh, is this?

• 49:21Lewis Howes?

  Am I supposed to be directed by an actor? Yeah, yeah.

• 49:23Speaker 01

  But I guess Scorsese, I found out later on through Joe Pesci, had said, you know, you know, like, I guess Scorsese always thought Pesci should be a director because he always got good instincts. So, you know, that was something I think worked out with them where there's a scene where I'm telling De Niro's character off and I throw up my hand and when Pesci had told me prior to that, he goes, "This guy's gonna kill you in the next scene. You need to leave this scene." So he is so pissed off at you, he's gonna kill you. You can't leave here kind of nonchalant. You gotta, gotta leave here with some intention.

• 49:58Lewis Howes?

  Piss him off, yeah.

• 49:59Speaker 01

  Piss him off. And again, it's like, wow, that's a great note. And I, but again, I go, why did I think of that? Even though this, this show I'm doing right now, Bookie, Chuck Lorre will come out and go, "You know what? Do it, do it this way because your character's feeling this right now." And I'm like,

• 50:18Speaker 01

  "Why did, why didn't I think of that? So he didn't have to come out and tell me that." But again.

• 50:23Lewis Howes?

  That's your thought process?

• 50:24Speaker 01

  That's my thought process.

• 50:25Lewis Howes?

  You think Kobe told his coaches, "Don't coach me"? After, where they do a timeout when they're losing? And he's like, "Don't tell me what to do." Think Michael Jordan, you know, when you're watching him back in Arlington Heights and you went to to watch him in the arena, you think, uh, his coach has not given him some positive reencouragement and said, "Hey, here's what I'm noticing that you didn't see." Because it's a blind spot.

• 50:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:52Lewis Howes?

  You think Jordan's saying, "Screw you, coach. I'm gonna do it my way."

• 50:55Speaker 01

  No.

• 50:55Lewis Howes?

  "I got it all figured out."

• 50:56Speaker 01

  No.

• 50:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I mean, it's like...

• 50:59Speaker 01

  But here's where the insecurity comes in. For me, it's like...

• 51:04Speaker 01

  I've had so much pressure on myself to to be the best. And then when you fall short of it and somebody's gonna tell you that's not the best. Try it this way. I I take it as like, oh, I should I should I should have came up. But I've been I'm becoming more. I'm adjusting my thought process when it comes to that because I've talked to other actors and they're saying what he's watching it on the screen. To your point, you're not seeing what he's seeing. You're you're here, he's there. So he's got a bird's eye view of what's happening where you're kind of.

• 51:38Lewis Howes?

  And if you're thinking about what's on the screen, you're not in the flow.

• 51:41Speaker 01

  Not at all.

• 51:42Lewis Howes?

  When you got two kids, right?

• 51:44Speaker 01

  Two kids.

• 51:45Lewis Howes?

  They're five and seven.

• 51:46Speaker 01

  Five and seven, yeah.

• 51:47Lewis Howes?

  So when they were like one, one and a half and they were trying to walk and they kept falling over. Did you like scream at them and say, hey, you should you should have this already figured out this walking thing?

• 52:00Speaker 01

  No, I didn't.

• 52:01Lewis Howes?

  You know what I mean? It's kind of like you've never trained to be an actor. Like, how are you supposed to be this like world class actor in your first few scenes?

• 52:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I I I get it. But I again, I would just think that I would be able to have enough instinct to become that. It's again.

• 52:22Lewis Howes?

  That much instinct with De Niro and Scorsese in your first scenes ever? It's like, come on. You just never want to be so much pressure on yourself.

• 52:29Speaker 01

  You never want to be the weak link. I hear you. I hear it. Even though you're a rookie on a football team, right? And you're gonna go out for a pass and you never played in the NFL before.

• 52:39Lewis Howes?

  True.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  You miss an open path.

• 52:40Lewis Howes?

  Boom, done. Yeah, you don't want to drop the ball.

• 52:42Speaker 01

  Your teammates like this is the pros, bro. Those mistakes you can't make. You know what I'm saying?

• 52:47Lewis Howes?

  True.

• 52:47Speaker 01

  Regardless of you're a rookie or a five year veteran, I think if you're playing in the same game that everybody else is playing in, you have to be as equal to or greater than those those people.

• 53:00Lewis Howes?

  Man, and and yes, and also have context like, hey, this is my first movie. They know they're bringing me in for a specific reason because I have a gift in some other area or I have an audience in some other area that can bring to this movie. They wanted me for this. It's not like playing the whole movie. It's like a specific role. So they should also give context of like your experience level. If I'm 15 and I get dropped in the NFL, I can't expect to live up to the standards of 28 year old men who are pros. Just because I played football for a few years.

• 53:35Speaker 01

  True.

• 53:37Lewis Howes?

  But had the opportunity to like catch a pass or something. So context also, I feel like.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  Context.

• 53:42Lewis Howes?

  But I hear you though, man. I'm, I'm all, I did my first scene in a movie, my fiance's movie. And I was nervous, man. I was so nervous. Cause I'd never done acting before. I don't know how to act. But I fricking trained for those four lines for like two weeks, like over and over.

• 53:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:59Lewis Howes?

  Cause I didn't want to, I didn't want to slow down the set. I didn't want to waste any time. I was like, I'm going to nail it and do the best I can. And um, it was nerve wracking for sure.

• 54:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, but in that case, you, you don't, you don't do, you, you, you're stepping so far out of the box of what you normally do. The expectations cannot be that high with you, right?

• 54:24Lewis Howes?

  They are high for me because.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  For you.

• 54:26Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 54:26Speaker 01

  But what I'm saying is this guy don't act. The other people, maybe your fiance or what have you. I'm, I'm, I'm in the entertainment business and I'm going from one thing.

• 54:37Lewis Howes?

  You're not acting.

• 54:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I'm, it's similar. Stand up, I'm acting up there in a way. It's similar. It's not like I'm taking a huge leap outside. It's not like I'm a comedian.

• 54:48Lewis Howes?

  A leap.

• 54:48Speaker 01

  And now I'm going to be a chef. You know, it's, it's, it's.

• 54:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's two different arts though. It's like saying I'm going to shoot a photograph and paint a photograph. Those are two different art. You're in the arts, but it's two different arts.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I, I think they're close enough together.

• 55:04Lewis Howes?

  I hear you, man. I hear you. This is a great conversation. I'm loving this conversation about this. So what, I also heard you talk about. Earlier in this conversation, you said you are a sensitive emotional person. You'll cry. You cried at a movie this weekend that you watched. But you struggled crying on set with De Niro. Is that right? In a scene with De Niro?

• 55:22Speaker 01

  Oh, God, yeah. That was tough.

• 55:24Lewis Howes?

  How, how, why, why was it hard for you to cry on a scene with De Niro? Versus you can watch a movie and cry in a moment? What was the struggle there?

• 55:35Speaker 01

  Uh, with the De Niro thing, it was the expectation that you're, you're gonna cry.

• 55:42Lewis Howes?

  Pressure.

• 55:43Speaker 01

  Pressure. But go, go see a movie. There's no like, you just, the emotion hits you. This was, okay, this is an emotional scene. You gotta cry. Plus, during that scene, I, during that whole movie, I had sciatic pain. I had sciatic pain for two years, uh, trying to perform stand-up, acting. I don't know if you've ever had it, but it's, it's just not, not a good feeling.

• 56:07Lewis Howes?

  It's like nerve pain on the side, yeah.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  Shooting.

• 56:10Lewis Howes?

  I don't know.

• 56:12Speaker 01

  I had to come into that scene out of breath. And the director says, why don't you run around the tarmac and then come into the scene? And then you'll have, you know, so I'm running with sciatic pain. In like slippers.

• 56:24Lewis Howes?

  That should have made you cry alone.

• 56:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  I should have.

• 56:30Speaker 01

  In agony, yeah. Um, so I, I go into the scene, we do the scene, De Niro's crying. I mean, I almost became, uh, I did become, um, just a fan. I was just watching him like in the scene. I'm, I'm in the scene, but in, in my head, I'm going.

• 56:47Lewis Howes?

  That's amazing, man.

• 56:48Speaker 01

  And I'm, I'm like, that, I got the next line. Cut, do it again. No cry. Second scene, no cry.

• 56:56Lewis Howes?

  You did your line also, no cry.

• 56:58Speaker 01

  It was a scene. It was, there's lines back and forth, back and forth. I'm not crying. So I tell, I tell De Niro, I said, listen, I need help. Uh, I, I don't know what to do there. I was, um. So we go into the airplane that was on the tarmac. And I said, I can't get there. I've never cried on film before. Can you give me some advice? He goes, well, I was gonna tie up, but I'm gonna go through your process. I go, hey, there's no process. This is, I'm just coming into this, hoping to God, I cry. And he starts to tell me, you know, what I do, what his process is. He starts talking about his kids. He starts crying as he's talking to me. Real life cry.

• 57:43Speaker 01

  About his, the family. Not fake cry, real cry. Yeah, I start crying. Watching him cry. I go, I gotta use this. So as, as I'm, I ran out of the airplane. I started running around the tarmac crying. He told me, think about your father and your mother. What they sacrificed for you to get to where you are. Your father came from a small town in Sicily. Wow. At 15 years old, didn't know the language. And started a family, bought a home. Think of all those things. So I start, I'm like, wow. You know, as I'm, as I'm like, thinking about this, as I'm running on the tarmac going,

• 58:28Speaker 01

  it's amazing where my family came from and where I am now. And that really kind of produced a lot of emotion. The problem with movie making is I did it, right? I did it, I cried during the scene. Cut, do it again, do it again. It's so hard. I gotta think about that again, like, you know, like, and then each cry, each scene gets lesser and lesser of emotion. Yeah. And that's why those days, I've, I mean, just, it's a, it's a learning lesson. Now I know, when you do an emotional scene, you got about three, three of those in you. Three takes, man. After that, it's hard to like recreate that emotion time and time again. I mean, there's people that can do it, but for me, it's like,

• 59:12Speaker 01

  we did the scene, you know, cause you do a wide and then you're close, well, on that, we do a close up first and then you kind of go from there. But my God, it was, it was a learning experience. I mean, I'm arguably with one of the best actors who ever done it. And for him to kind of walk me through that was, was very instrumental in me kind of taking that and then applying some of those lessons to what I'm doing now with Bookie and, and other projects. So. This is beautiful, man. I'm curious about.

• 59:40Lewis Howes?

  Comedy feels like it's really having a big moment right now in culture. I mean, it's like, you go on Netflix or any streamer and it just seems like there's specials everywhere.

• 59:51Lewis Howes?

  Everyone's on a tour, people are building millions of followers on social media. And it seems like social media has created more superstars in comedy in the last four or five years. And probably in the last 20, it seems, it seems that way.

• 1:00:09Lewis Howes?

  How do you feel about the, the rise of comedy startup for so many guys? In the last three to five years and their rise to success with social media versus the way you and others did it? Pre-social media, when it was just, hey, we were on the road for 10 years, making 50 bucks a night if we were lucky. Working as a waiter or whatever it might be for seven to 10 years, trying to get a special. What's your thoughts about where comedy is now and where some of these guys and gals are kind of really taking off with content? Versus before?

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  So this is an interesting question for me because you could slip into this.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  My day ahead of the, you could do that, which I've had my moments of like.

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  Is what we're seeing now on social media with these kind of, I call them like flash in the pan videos.

• 1:01:10Speaker 01

  And then they're catapulted into, okay, you're gonna go see him live now. And 2,000 people are gonna show up and see, what are they gonna see? I've, I've never been to these stand-up shows, so I don't, I don't know, I can't speak to like if a guy or a woman makes it offline. And then starts doing comedy live, I don't even know what that looks like. All I know is I know how hard it is to come up with material. And, and I know how much practice that this requires to be a polished, seasoned comedian. I can't even imagine.

• 1:01:49Speaker 01

  How the internet prepares you at all for live performance? Cause you gotta do the work. There's no like, you can't jump the line. You can, but then like, what happens after that? Right. You could build audience and get attention, but you still have to deliver on stage. Gotta deliver on stage. So that's number one. Am I mad at the way this is? I'm mad at the sense that maybe we're not going to see, or maybe this is taking away from the younger generation, the course of doing night after night after night. And maybe we're not going to see as polished comedians. Maybe. I don't know. Time will tell.

• 1:02:34Speaker 01

  You could also look at it like this.

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  I have the same.

• 1:02:40Speaker 01

  I have social media. I have the same opportunities that they have, right? I could be utilizing social media to become the biggest comedian in the world. Because I not only have the act, I also have the opportunity now to build with these videos online. Now, for me, I don't think I have found my world. You're lame. My lane. I don't know where, you know, I do a podcast, The Pete and Sebastian Show. Been doing this for 12 years. Wow. 12. 12 years? Years. I've been doing this 11. I didn't know many people were doing it longer than me.

• 1:03:26Speaker 01

  We're under the radar. You're popular. We're not. Now,

• 1:03:32Speaker 01

  I've been trying to crack the podcast code, right? Now. With all these comedians blowing up on podcasts, right? Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, jeez, like, you just go down the list, the Theo Von. Everyone but you. Yeah. Everybody but me is making it in the podcast arena, right? So I'm like, all right, what do we gotta do on our, what are we missing on the podcast? What's not, what do we, we've never had guests. It's just Pete and I talking. So we're like. The fact that we don't have guests, is that why we're still in the basement?

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  Because we're not bringing in a guy or a girl with an audience that's going to make our podcast broader appeal? Right? So we started bringing in guests over the last year. And we have yet to see whether or not like this is going to

• 1:04:25Lewis Howes?

  Pay off or whatever.

• 1:04:25Speaker 01

  Pay off, but you know, social media is there. You got the same social media everybody else has. So you can't complain that somebody is doing well on social media. And then selling tickets in an arena, you can't complain on that.

• 1:04:43Lewis Howes?

  But it is a level of focus, attention and energy. And I feel like social media in a sense is its own art. It's like, do you want to spend five hours a day thinking of one video? And is it going to take off or is it not going to take off? It could be a full-time job, thinking about bits on social media. Or how are you going to start this content or the, whatever it might be? And we only have so much energy and attention. It's like, do you want to be great on stand-up or in your specials? Or can you be great at everything? I don't know, that's challenging.

• 1:05:16Speaker 01

  No, I've heard time and time again, you pick one thing and you're great at that, that thing. And that's it. Not that's it, I mean, you could do other things, but your energy is, listen, if I took my energy and said, okay, I got a podcast, I gotta do the video of the week or whatever it is. I'm not writing material, I'm not thinking about material, I'm thinking about all these other things.

• 1:05:40Speaker 01

  You look at social media and go, this got 38 million views? You know, like you go there and going, there was really no time or energy thought into this. It was just kind of like this hit like a moment. And you don't, you can't explain why things are popular and why things are not. You'd like to think that, you know, it's just like cooking. If you're in, if you're in the kitchen for three, four hours preparing a meal. And somebody's in the kitchen for five minutes preparing a meal, what's going to be better? The five-minute meal or the guy that took the time?

• 1:06:13Lewis Howes?

  Never know.

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't know, you would think it would be the guy that took the time. Uh, but now it just seems, I don't know, I can't figure out even today's humor.

• 1:06:25Speaker 01

  What are people laughing at? Because it's so subjective. It's like you look at something online and go, I don't, I don't think that's funny. Or you go see somebody do stand up and go, I don't get it. I don't understand why this guy's got 15,000 people in the audience.

• 1:06:40Speaker 01

  It's so subjective and to try and figure it out, you, you'll, you'll.

• 1:06:43Lewis Howes?

  But, well, I think it is the relationship they've created with their audience. What makes it funny to them? You know, it's like they, especially with kind of the online social media audiences with the, the content. It's like they've built a relationship of the content that they like in consuming that personality. And then they might go to sell out 15,000 people. And for you, it may not be that funny or others, it may not be funny, but to their audience, they've found a connection humor.

• 1:07:09Speaker 01

  You make a good point.

• 1:07:10Lewis Howes?

  Probably same with you. It's like, you know, you've captured an audience that's just like sells out everything you do.

• 1:07:17Speaker 01

  Well, the audience was, I, I, I've created it through the stand-up.

• 1:07:22Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:07:23Speaker 01

  It's not necessarily that people fell in love with me personally. They fell in love with the stand-up. What I think is happening is these podcasts, they fall in love with the personality.

• 1:07:32Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  Oh God, this guy is like, he's going through so much stuff at home and then, and then he, he or she puts out tickets for sale and they go, not necessarily for the stand-up, but for, to your point, oh, I have a connection with him because he farts in bed too.

• 1:07:49Lewis Howes?

  Right?

• 1:07:51Speaker 01

  So.

• 1:07:51Lewis Howes?

  And if the person learns how to be great at stand-up or talented enough, they should have a great career or a good career.

• 1:07:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you, to me, the, the stand-up, listen, you, you, you gotta do it. It's just you, you have to do it and, and, and.

• 1:08:11Lewis Howes?

  Takes reps.

• 1:08:11Speaker 01

  I think if you want to go see a seasoned comedian and maybe a guy or a girl who hasn't really been, you, you'd tell the difference if it's, if it's right next to.

• 1:08:21Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  Eating a steak, you eat, if you're eating, if you eat McDonald's and you don't have any other comparison.

• 1:08:29Lewis Howes?

  Tastes great?

• 1:08:30Speaker 01

  Tastes phenomenal.

• 1:08:33Lewis Howes?

  I hear that. Who are the, who's one stand-up comedian that you've seen in the last five years? That doesn't have a big audience? That isn't selling out arenas, but you're just like, man, this person has really, they've got a gift. They've really studied well. They've put in the reps, they've put in the time.

• 1:08:53Lewis Howes?

  And it's just like, they are funny every time. But they're not well-known yet. Who is that?

• 1:08:59Speaker 01

  I wish I could give you a name. I'm not one of these guys, and I probably could have done this. Actually, I did this with, um, I said Theo Von a while back. Guy was going on stage and really killing, but no one really knew who he was. This was about seven years ago.

• 1:09:14Lewis Howes?

  Really? So he was crushing on stage?

• 1:09:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. He, he, he, he came into his own to, in stand-up, like, it kinda happened. He was at it for a while, and then he, something clicked where he started doing.

• 1:09:29Lewis Howes?

  And the video content started to take off.

• 1:09:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then, and then the podcasting took off. So that was a guy that I kinda thought that was going to, to go places. But I'm not a guy now, now that I have a family. The time is limited.

• 1:09:41Lewis Howes?

  You're not going out four nights a week?

• 1:09:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I'll go to the Comedy Store tonight, I'm gonna do two sets there, and I'm gonna go home. It's not like I'm gonna be hanging out watching other guys or, or girls perform. So I don't know who the hot person is coming up, just because time. I, I don't, I don't have time.

• 1:10:00Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What's the best piece of advice your dad has given you lately? You're at the top of your game in terms of where you've ever been in the past. There's obviously a lot of room for you to grow. If you wanna grow. You've sold out Madison Square Garden five times. You've got a massive tour that's about to happen here, I think, next month, Oliver. And, um, what is the best thing that your dad has said to you with all the success that you have at almost 51 years of age now?

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  I, I guess the, the advice is never to rest on your success. So, and then, you know, my mom is gonna watch this too. My mom is always, "Never talk about me." She's always wondering, "How come she's not in the act? How come I, you don't talk about me on podcasts or whatnot?" But I love my mother to death, and she's also a huge part of kinda giving me advice. Everybody goes to my dad because my dad, I always talk about him, but also my mom, you know. My mom is my muse. My mom is someone, if I could get dying laughing, I'm like, that, that, I'll use that on stage. That works then. That works. My mom is a good gauge of kind of what's funny.

• 1:11:20Speaker 01

  And when I call her and we get on a roll, uh, there's nothing, there's nothing better than making my mother laugh. Other than my own family, when I get my mother going, it's like, because, uh, uh.

• 1:11:44Speaker 01

  My mom is.

• 1:11:52Speaker 01

  My mom and my dad are divorced.

• 1:11:57Speaker 01

  And my mom is living in California, near my sister, and she lives alone. Yeah. And, um, I never thought my parents would have gotten divorced. Grew up in a family where laughing, and now they're not together. Hmm. So for me, to make my mom laugh, not that she's, she's, my mom goes on more than I do. She's got friends, she's having a jazz night here, she's having a glass of wine here, but I feel with my mother, if I could make her laugh, that, uh, it's just, uh, I don't know, it's a, it's a good, selfishly, it's a good feeling for me because, you know,

• 1:12:37Speaker 01

  I, I never would have thought my mother would be living alone at 78 years old. I thought my, my parents were gonna grow old together and die together. I never thought, here, I never thought I'd call my mom and then have to call my dad. I always thought it was gonna be, ma, put dad on. Right. And it's not that way. And yeah, they got, they got divorced later on in life, so for me, it was, you know, some, some, some kids, um, witnessed divorce early on. Maybe they don't know what's going on, like, why is that mommy and dad? But when you have like a, a, a. Full thirty-five years to like there together.

• 1:13:18Speaker 01

  And now, and now you got kids yourself and, you know. They're not coming to see your kids together. They're separately coming. It's separate and it's like, it's, it's, it's a tough pill to swallow just because I never perceived it going that, that way. And, uh, you know, they still talk, but, uh, you know, they're still, they're still in communication, but it's just like, Christmas is not with the both of them. So, so providing laughter to, to her to, for me is, is gold. And same, same thing with my kids and, and my wife too. Sure. Um, what's the thing you love about your mom the most?

• 1:14:03Speaker 01

  My mom, um, it's just always there. Really? It never like, uh, you know, always there. Mom's always gonna pick up the phone. Yeah. Always. So for me, um, I told myself I wasn't gonna get emotional, but I think this is appropriate. And especially now that my parents are getting up in age, you think they're always gonna be there.

• 1:14:41Speaker 01

  And sometimes you take it for granted and, uh, I always try to make that a point in my head like, my mom always says, I said, Mom, I gotta call you back. She goes, yeah, right. Cause sometimes I don't call her back. And I should be more mindful of that. But, uh, yeah, my mom is, is gold. Wow. That's beautiful, man.

• 1:15:05Lewis Howes?

  If you could, uh, your parents are seventy.

• 1:15:09Speaker 01

  Seventy-eight, seventy-seven.

• 1:15:12Lewis Howes?

  Um, so let's, let's do a hypothetical question here. If you could fast forward, call it thirty years and you're eighty-one, uh, eighty, eighty-one. And, uh, you continue to accomplish every dream that you have imaginable in your personal career, but also in your personal life. You see your kids grow up the way you want to. You're there, you're loving, all these things happen in your life. And hypothetically, if you could be your eighty-year-old self for a second, or see him having a conversation with you.

• 1:15:51Lewis Howes?

  And he could

• 1:15:54Lewis Howes?

  know exactly what you're about to go through the next, next thirty years. And he can give you three pieces of advice for you today. What do you think your eighty-year-old self would say to you today about how to live the next thirty years of your life?

• 1:16:10Speaker 01

  Wow, uh, my eighty-year-old self would tell me, no, first and foremost, um, stop worrying so much. Just

• 1:16:21Speaker 01

  take each day as a blessing. Don't, don't worry about what you cannot see in the future. Cause I'm always worried about what ifs. What if this happens? What if that happens? Don't worry. Um, also he would say, um, don't work so much.

• 1:16:39Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 1:16:40Speaker 01

  Don't, don't kill yourself working this much. Uh, spend time with your family. Uh, my, my dad has often said, he, he worked too much. For what? You know, like, for what? You know, like, he missed a lot of the childhood memories, you know? Um, so he'd probably tell me to relax with the work, which I've often said, you know, after this tour, maybe, maybe I just go and do casinos or Las Vegas.

• 1:17:13Speaker 01

  You know, maybe pull back a little bit. This is, this is a big undertaking, this tour for me. It's, it's a lot. How many cities? Ninety-four. Ninety-four cities? Ninety-four shows, I presume, ninety-four shows. How many months? From July 11th to April 10th, I think. They shoot a special at the end. Ninety-four shows in a couple of months? Well, no, no, April to, uh, I'm sorry, now July to April. Oh, for next, next year, oh gosh, I was thinking April to July, there's a delay.

• 1:17:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, over a course of eight months. Okay, I got you. Wow, ninety? Ninety-four shows, so. And these aren't like going down the street to the comedy? No, these are like major, you know, we're doing five. Arenas? Yeah, yeah. It's a lot of energy. A lot of energy, but what I like about it is I used to do two shows a night. Like I used to go to a theater and I'd go two, let's say. Seven out of nine or something, yeah. Yeah. And for me, it's like one show, give it all I got and then leave it on the table next night and the same thing. So going on this tour, it's not only the tour, it's the promotion behind the tour. It's the, it's the, the selling of the tickets.

• 1:18:29Speaker 01

  It's, it's all that and for me, I, you know, it's great, it's great. But maybe pull back a little bit after this and kind of enjoy the fruits of my labor, enjoy my family. And, and just enjoy without, without, you know, like I did it, it's, it's great. I love doing this, but you know, what's it all about? I, I want to get more into charity. I want to start giving back more. I want to do, uh, I might want to tackle something else. I told my wife, I go, maybe I want to go to culinary school. Maybe I want, because I'm passionate about cooking. Not to become a chef or open up a restaurant, just to. The love of it.

• 1:19:12Speaker 01

  Just for the love of doing something, just to do something out of pure enjoyment, not figuring out. How do I monetize? You know, everything now is like, if you have a hobby, put it up online and then you could get a chef the sauce. Because you're, you know, like. I'm kinda tired of like trying to figure out how I exploit my own personal love of life for and how it feeds into stand up. Can't I just do something to do it without not in the world? No, I'm making pasta tonight. Why can't I just make pasta and not go, hey, guys, I'm doing that?

• 1:19:54Speaker 01

  You know, it's it gets to become a little too consuming of like, you know, just wanna just wanna go on vacation and not like tell anybody I'm going on vacation. Or how do we like make people laugh while I'm on vacation? Do I have to? But no, it's like I feel like a lot of people have feel pressure to constantly be putting out this content that, I don't know, do you really need to be? I mean, I just it's getting to like, is there any privacy anymore? I people are in the hospital, their their grandfather's not and they're whipping up a Facebook live grandpa's that you know, it's like, can't we just keep it the family? Yeah, I don't know.

• 1:20:39Speaker 01

  Maybe I'm antiquated in my thinking, but I I don't know. I just feel like.

• 1:20:45Lewis Howes?

  Have you ever been able to enjoy the tours, the big tours that you've done? Like you said, I'm gonna finish this and hopefully I kind of just pull back and maybe do casinos or smaller, smaller mini tours or weekend gigs or whatever. But do you think you can enjoy day by day these next nine months?

• 1:21:02Speaker 01

  Well, I told myself I'm going to enjoy it more than I ever have in the past because in the past, you know, like people go, oh, you sold out Madison Square Garden four times. How was that experience? I don't even remember because I was worried about selling out Fort Lauderdale the next weekend. Wow. So sometimes when you're in it, you're not really in it. You're you're past it already and you're not you're not even. You're not even conscious of what's going on around you because your head might be other other places this time around. Cause I'm bringing my family. Oh, it's good. Cause I'm bringing my kids. That's cool. I want them to like relish. That's beautiful. Relish in this. I I get more enjoyment now. And I always have. Uh, I'm, I'm, I'm a big guy in hospitality. I, I love making feel good.

• 1:21:46Speaker 01

  People making feel, I love making people feel good. That's why I do stand up comedy. But I also like making people feel good in other areas, whether it be me hosting them at the house for a party or, um, you know, giving back to my family in a way where, you know, whether it be financial or whether it be educational, whatever it is, I just like giving. And that's where I think this charity component is going to come in after I think this do this tour to, to get more involved in the community. Stop about what you're seeing and go do something about it. You know what I'm saying? Like, how do we,

• 1:22:30Speaker 01

  how do we, how do I improve? Cause I think a lot of times, like, what am I gonna do? What, what am I going to do that's going to cause an impact in a problem that's so huge? You know? It's like voting, you know? Yeah, it's hard. You gonna vote?

• 1:22:47Speaker 01

  What's it gonna do? What's my vote gonna do? Well, you're going to how many cities? Ninety, well, ninety-four shows. I think it's like some eighty, eighty, eighty some cities. I mean, do you have a charity component already? I have a foundation called Tag You're It. I fund it. There's no board of directors, no nothing. I just give money to it. I'll go on a game show. I'll play for my charity. And then the, the, the pillars of the charity are Alzheimer's disease, cause my grandfather died from Alzheimer's, um, veterans. Yeah. Cause my father's a US veteran, a United States Army veteran, and children's education. Wow, that's beautiful. I know, uh, you know, a lot of communities are underserved when it comes to education. And my, my kids are fortunate to go to private school.

• 1:23:32Speaker 01

  Because the LA school system is kind of shot, but you know, if I could do anything to help that, that's great. But then again.

• 1:23:41Lewis Howes?

  What type of impact can you make? Well, I would love to push back on you for what you just said because I think you go into 80 cities, you're going to be in front of tens of thousands of people most nights. You have a big impact to whether to to to say something before, after, on stage to every city. You and your family do something for a local Alzheimer's facility or schools and to make it a point, maybe not every city, but you're saying, hey, as a family, we're going to go to show up at a few of these cities to the children's hospital or to the Alzheimer's or to the old folks homes or whatever it might be and bring joy and serve.

• 1:24:20Speaker 01

  You know, I need you as like a as a lifeline, bro. To talk, talking to you, it's like, hey, what? Again, I'm sitting here as you're saying this, I'm going, why didn't I think of that? You know, why didn't I think of having a charity component on the tour?

• 1:24:34Lewis Howes?

  This is why I talk about, I mean, because you're focused on being the best at what you do. You're focused on the reps of comedy, of stand up, of promotion. You don't have all the time and energy to see the blind spots. This is why I love having coaches. And I have a coach that supports me in almost every area of life. I don't know everything about money. How am I supposed to know about money? Like you said, growing up with the scripts that we had as kids. So I have to unlearn things and read books, find money mentors, invest in it. You know, go to courses, whatever it might be. Same thing with relationships. My parents were fighting all the time, screaming at each other. They got divorced when I was a teen. It was a nightmare. I left, I ran away from home to go to a private boarding school when I was 13

• 1:25:19Lewis Howes?

  because I didn't want to be at home. I didn't feel emotionally safe. I didn't know about relationships. I failed in multiple relationships until I'm in the relationship now. And it took years of coaching to heal, to unlearn. And I used to beat myself up and feel shame thinking I should have known better. Why didn't I already know this? But I spent. Fifteen years shaming myself and that doesn't feel good. And so I've just learned through more self compassion. I'm not going to know everything in the world. Let me try to surround myself with good coaches and mentors and just learn a little bit more as I go. As I feel stuck or feel like I'm going through a problem. And so I was just saying it for you because I know you have a big platform in person.

• 1:26:04Lewis Howes?

  And you can move audiences to laugh. And when you can open someone's heart to laugh. You can get them to take action in other areas or at least be aware. You can get them to listen. And if you want to say a one minute message about something you care about with your charity. I think it's a great opportunity and bring your kids on stage and say, hey, we're doing this as a part of our tour. We're going to these different Alzheimer's centers. We're doing kids school, whatever it might be that you care about. I think it's a great way to enjoy this process even more over the next year.

• 1:26:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, I agree.

• 1:26:35Lewis Howes?

  By serving just a little bit outside of the comedy as well.

• 1:26:40Lewis Howes?

  So you can enjoy it and be of service and do good, but we can talk later about it if you want more. More I'm not going to coach you on this, but.

• 1:26:47Speaker 01

  No, it's a, it's a great idea and I definitely want to implement that.

• 1:26:51Lewis Howes?

  And you got enough on your mind already. So maybe it's something your wife supports you with.

• 1:26:55Speaker 01

  This is something that's important and it would make it more meaningful.

• 1:27:00Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. Every time, you know, you talked about gratitude. And really wanting to enjoy this tour and, and I want everyone watching and listening to go to the tour. I want to go, hopefully you're coming here in LA.

• 1:27:14Speaker 01

  August 17th.

• 1:27:15Lewis Howes?

  August 17th. So I gotta go check it out because your stand up on your specials are fricking hilarious.

• 1:27:21Speaker 01

  Well, thank you.

• 1:27:22Lewis Howes?

  So I want everyone to go who's watching and listening. Where can we sign up for tickets to buy tickets on the tour?

• 1:27:28Speaker 01

  So go to sebastianlive.com. All the tour dates are, are there and, and going to a lot of different cities. I haven't even gone before like Youngstown, Ohio.

• 1:27:37Lewis Howes?

  All right. I'm from Ohio. So that's good. Okay.

• 1:27:39Speaker 01

  So, uh, yeah, we're going to all the, you know, Boston, New York, Chicago's and Philadelphia Fort Lauderdale's, but.

• 1:27:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, San Antonio, someplace that I performed once, Austin, Texas, got a brand new arena. So yeah, go into a lot of different places and Sebastian Live, Sebastian Comedy is the Instagram and the Twitter. I try and populate that with funny videos so people get away from it. You start scrolling down any of these social media platforms, it's depending on your algorithm or what it's feeding you.

• 1:28:14Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 1:28:15Speaker 01

  But, you know, for me, I always stop on the videos that, you know, create a smile and not so much anxiety. And I don't even watch the news anymore.

• 1:28:26Lewis Howes?

  I don't either.

• 1:28:27Speaker 01

  So.

• 1:28:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you put out humor and things to make people laugh. I try to put out positivity. I think that's what people should consume more of.

• 1:28:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:35Lewis Howes?

  Things that bring a smile to someone's face. Sebastianlive.com. Make sure you guys get tickets, bring your friends, your family. I just feel like, especially over the next six months, I think you're doing this at the perfect time as there's gonna be so much chaos in the world with the election and the political season and just like families probably like fighting with each other over like what's right and wrong and who to vote, all these different things. Like just stop fighting, go watch you live, laugh, bring your family, bring your friends, connect, have fun. We can enjoy life too.

• 1:29:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you know what, to reflect on what you said earlier about laughter and how popular comedy is, and I think the reason is because to the point of people bickering, red, you know, blue, that's wrong, and the way you think is sucks, or whatever it is. When you get people together in a comedy club, or arena, or theater, none of that is happening. It's just, everybody is laughing in unison as one for an hour. Regardless of your political

• 1:29:53Speaker 01

  affiliation, your religion, or whatever it might be, everybody at least agrees, in my opinion, for an hour, everybody in that room agrees that this is funny, right? And then they leave and then they be [BLEEP] out of each other. But I think that's why people are looking for this. People are so inundated with all this. Whether it be you open up your iPad, your phone, you turn on the TV and just getting constantly bombarded by all this stuff. And people are looking for a release and outlet, and I think comedy is providing that right now for people. So. Yeah, you're right. I think this is a great time to tour.

• 1:30:36Lewis Howes?

  Perfect timing, man. I hope.

• 1:30:39Lewis Howes?

  I hope I'm gonna, I'm gonna message you halfway through and check in and making sure that you're enjoying the moments. I'm sure there's gonna be stress and travel and all these things, but I hope that you're enjoying it as well. And if you are watching or listening and you go and you get a VIP upgrade and you get to do a meet and greet with Sebastian. Make sure to remind him to enjoy the moment and say, hey, School of Greatness, I heard you say you were gonna work on Enjoy the Moment. And make sure to remind him in case he's not. I do have two final questions for you.

• 1:31:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:31:10Lewis Howes?

  Before I ask them, Sebastian, I just want to acknowledge you. Again, this is our first time meeting. And I want to acknowledge you for your openness, your realness and your honesty about where you're at in your life. You know, 50 years of living. Ups and downs, but a lot of joy, a lot of success and a lot of fun and fulfillment. And I acknowledge you for, there's some comedians I've had on that they want to be in comedy mode all the time and it's fun. But I appreciate that you're able to also open your heart. And talk about things you're working on, things you're struggling with, things that you're, you know, excited about and all these different things. So I acknowledge you for just the real human connection that we've had and you're, you're open in realness. And

• 1:31:56Lewis Howes?

  the journey you're at. I just think it's a beautiful journey to watch. So congratulations on everything and I acknowledge you for the, the joy you bring to so many people in the world.

• 1:32:06Speaker 01

  Very, very nice of you to say all those things. Very nice.

• 1:32:11Speaker 01

  My question to you is.

• 1:32:15Speaker 01

  Is this something that I like to acknowledge you for? Is this something that you have learned from somebody else? Or is this something that you came up with to do at the end of these shows? Or did you? Because I think a lot of times, like, I'll take some of the stuff that you told me today.

• 1:32:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:33Speaker 01

  And I will repurpose it and say it like it's my own.

• 1:32:38Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, sure.

• 1:32:40Speaker 01

  The positivity, the gratitude, even what you're saying now, I acknowledge you for. I think this is a good, it's a good thing to say to somebody. Because, you know, you go through an interview and you kind of let's recap it in your own way.

• 1:32:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:55Speaker 01

  Is this learned? Or is this something that you came up with on your own?

• 1:33:02Lewis Howes?

  I don't know if anyone comes up with anything on their own. I never saw anyone at the end of an interview say, I acknowledge you for what I'm seeing in you. But I have done a lot of courses, personal development work, you know, trainings, mentors, coaches. And I think what I always wanted as a child was to be seen and acknowledged. And I think every child wants to be seen and acknowledged for their existence.

• 1:33:31Lewis Howes?

  And many years, I didn't feel seen and acknowledged. And so I overworked, I over hustled, I did whatever it took to be the best in my sports. So that I was never neglected. That continued in the business world after I got injured. I overworked, I overtrained, I was, you know, whatever I can do to be the best. When I hit 30, I'm 41 now.

• 1:33:59Lewis Howes?

  You know, I was a multimillionaire in the bank accounts. I had like a little audience, I had a successful business, a little personal brand. But I was extremely miserable. And I was chasing validation from everyone else. But I didn't have it with myself. I wasn't able to acknowledge me or see me, the worst of me, the best of me, and everything in the middle. And so it's been an 11-year journey since starting this show.

• 1:34:33Lewis Howes?

  Of kind of reclaiming that power and ownership of. Sure, it's nice to be seen and acknowledged by others. But the real tragedy is if we work so hard on the things we love and enjoy and we don't acknowledge ourselves. And so I try to acknowledge me, you know, quietly every day and say, man. Just keep doing the work. You're doing a good job. Sure, you can be better, but being consistent is a great step. And I know that most people crave acknowledgement. And it's just something I started doing on the show. Again, I never saw someone do it, but I was just like, I know. People want to feel acknowledged and I want to speak into people what I see in them.

• 1:35:18Lewis Howes?

  So, yeah, I started doing it at the end of every interview and. I just think it's, um, imagine a world where everyone. Was able to acknowledge themselves better and the people in their lives better. And, you know, I'm not saying like. Your dad never saw you or your mom never saw you. They just were criticizing you all the time. It's not what happened, obviously. They saw you and they acknowledged you, but. Imagine a world where. You know, we can coach and empower people to level up and also see all the beauty of the side of it. So that's.

• 1:35:54Speaker 01

  It's a nice, it's a nice touch and sometimes I don't know how to accept those acknowledgements, you know, like even compliments like I feel, I feel like.

• 1:36:02Lewis Howes?

  It's hard for people to acknowledge, to receive.

• 1:36:04Speaker 01

  To receive it. Yeah, that's like, I almost want to jump out of it.

• 1:36:07Lewis Howes?

  I know. It's very uncomfortable for a lot of people.

• 1:36:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, as you were saying, I'm like, oh, another one? He's doing another one?

• 1:36:16Lewis Howes?

  Well, it's interesting because in the more, in the more I've, and most people are uncomfortable. And I don't do it to make people uncomfortable.

• 1:36:23Speaker 01

  No, I really don't.

• 1:36:24Lewis Howes?

  But I've, I've learned that most people. And comedians, believe it or not, you know, they want, or actors, they want the laughter, they want the. You know, it's, what's the, there's like a joke about comedians, I can't remember, and like actors about. Always needing applause growing up or something, or never having like their parents like acknowledge them or I can't remember, but. There is a stereotype of actors and comedians needing that to fuel them to feel worthy. Right? And I'm not saying you need that, but I've seen comedians struggle with receiving acknowledgement. Even when they get clapped on stage, it's like fueling something, but they still don't feel enough.

• 1:37:07Lewis Howes?

  Sometimes. I don't know if that lands or if that that speaks to your industry at all, but it's what I've noticed.

• 1:37:15Speaker 01

  I struggle with that. At the end of my show, I know some comedians that stay out there and they're bowing.

• 1:37:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, they really receive it.

• 1:37:25Speaker 01

  Taking it all in, right? Me, I want to get out of there.

• 1:37:29Lewis Howes?

  Thank you. Off the stage.

• 1:37:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. And maybe people are wanting to give a standing ovation, or maybe people are wanting to kind of applaud the performance more. And I cut it short because laughing at me is fine, but then acknowledging me is some some switches.

• 1:37:48Lewis Howes?

  This is interesting. If you're willing to go for a few minutes on this.

• 1:37:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:54Lewis Howes?

  Something I've learned over the years, because I used to say, nah, like I could do better. Like when someone wouldn't acknowledge me or celebrate me, I'd be like, yeah, but what about that one thing I missed? I remember, I'll tell you a story. I I broke a world record for the most receiving yards in a single game. Four hundred and eighteen yards in college in one game.

• 1:38:10Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 1:38:12Lewis Howes?

  Seventeen receptions, five touchdowns, four hundred and eighteen yards in one game, and we lost the game. And afterwards, I'm pissed that we lost the game. I'm the last one in the shower to leave the locker room. I'm moping around, I'm frustrated, I'm angry. Everyone left the locker room. My coach comes in. I'm literally in the shower, naked. He comes, it's an open shower, you know, for those who watch it. Guys shower naked anyways, coach comes in and kind of creeps around the corner and just says,

• 1:38:45Lewis Howes?

  congratulations, you broke a world record today, most receiving yards in a single game ever in the history of college football and no one's done this in the professional leagues either. And I was head against the the shower kind of wall, the hot water running down me, again butt naked and I'm thinking, what? And we just lost the game. And he's like, congrats. And I was miserable for a week. Like I'd done something no one in the history had ever done. But all I could focus on was like, yeah, but I dropped that one pass. And what if that was the thing that could have got us to win? It's still on me why we lost. It was like beating myself up. It took me weeks to be able to be like, oh, that's actually kind of cool that I did that. And I've learned over the years that

• 1:39:30Lewis Howes?

  when you block someone from saying, hey, that was awesome. Congratulations. What a beautiful job you did. When you say nah, or you block it, or you don't receive it, you're robbing that person of a gift. You're robbing the audience. And you're not doing this intentionally. So I'm not trying to put you down, but you rob an audience of really being like, wow, I just had my mind blown. Thank you for giving me this hour of joy. My life was before I came here. And you took me out of the darkest place of my life. Without that, I don't know where I would have been tonight. I might have been drinking all night. I might have been beating someone up. I might have committed suicide. But because of your gift, your hard work, 50 years of life experience that you brought for this hour,

• 1:40:15Lewis Howes?

  you brought me joy. And if someone stands up and wants to applaud and scream, it's a disservice to rob them of that gift. And again, I'm not blaming you or making you wrong for never doing that in the past. But I would again, encourage you to take it in for a little longer than you used to. Be willing to stand there and see what people do and just be uncomfortable for 60 seconds. See what happens at the end of the day.

• 1:40:42Speaker 01

  No, I'll fight through it.

• 1:40:44Lewis Howes?

  That's my suggestion.

• 1:40:45Speaker 01

  It does get quite uncomfortable.

• 1:40:47Lewis Howes?

  I can imagine, man. It's hard to see 20,000 people just sit there and acknowledge you and like standing ovation and scream. And it's not easy.

• 1:40:57Speaker 01

  Unless you're a narcissist, maybe then you're like, keep it coming, keep it coming. You know, it's like, no, no.

• 1:41:03Lewis Howes?

  If you're a decent human being, you feel like a little bit of like, oh, you know.

• 1:41:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:08Lewis Howes?

  You want to have some humility, you feel uncomfortable, like, I understand, yeah.

• 1:41:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, because there is, there is a sense of, I, again, negative. I'm thinking if I stay out there longer than I should, someone's going, what is this? Yeah, like, yeah, like, hit the.

• 1:41:25Lewis Howes?

  I hear you, and there might be three or four people that are saying that too. You're probably gonna get a few people that said, what was he out there for 30 seconds tweeting out there? You're gonna see that.

• 1:41:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:41:34Lewis Howes?

  You know, you don't have to be there five minutes, but it's like, if you stay five seconds, try to stay 50 seconds. You know, it's like, extend it and see how you can make yourself as an experience feel uncomfortable and really receive and enjoy those moments. That would be my suggestion, but. You didn't come here to get coached by me, Sebastian.

• 1:41:50Speaker 01

  It's a good learning experience for me, so, but thank you for, I have to acknowledge you for giving me some nuggets and morsels of knowledge where I'll leave here and implement it to my own life, that one being the, the charity event and the other being the, um, the relishing and the applause.

• 1:42:10Lewis Howes?

  The receiving, yeah. I told you before we started, my intention is to make this the most powerful conversation you've ever had.

• 1:42:16Speaker 01

  It was, it was damn good, I gotta tell you.

• 1:42:18Lewis Howes?

  And to impact people around the world.

• 1:42:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:21Lewis Howes?

  And so I have, uh, one final question for you. I acknowledge you, you shared kind of your three lessons, if you were 80, what you would tell yourself today. You said, stop worrying, you said, don't work so much, uh, and be with family. I don't know if you said the third thing, but is there one other thing that your 80-year-old self would say to your, your current self?

• 1:42:43Speaker 01

  Uh, take care of your health.

• 1:42:45Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 1:42:48Speaker 01

  Which I'm in the process of doing. I, I feel like, um, yeah, you spend money on a car, you spend money on vacation. Why don't we spend money on becoming the most, uh, healthiest person you could possibly be? Because I think sometimes, especially now getting up in your 50s, not to say that. That's old, but you know, things, parts are getting older and they're starting to fall apart. I just snapped my calf muscle performing and had to do the rest of the show limping around.

• 1:43:20Lewis Howes?

  Oh, man, that's tough.

• 1:43:22Speaker 01

  So I don't want those things happening anymore. I mean, I work out. It's not a workout where I come out of there exhausted. I'm moving around, I, you know, light stretching and what have you. But the workouts of like to exhaustion are not something I'm doing. Just because I'm afraid what else is gonna snap.

• 1:43:47Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 1:43:48Speaker 01

  I mean, I was talking about this on Joe Rogan, I snapped two of my, my, my biceps. I ruptured my biceps.

• 1:43:55Lewis Howes?

  The same time?

• 1:43:56Speaker 01

  Uh, not at the same time, different time, but there is no trauma. I had no trauma in, in it. I didn't, it's, it sounded like, oh, what is that? It was like, I woke up and, you know, this is what I have.

• 1:44:06Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 1:44:08Speaker 01

  And I got kids and I don't wanna be, I become or I'm becoming, which I, I don't wanna. We go to an event and it's, um, we went to Disneyland. My family gets on there, say hi to daddy. I'm the say hi to daddy, like I'm on the sidelines.

• 1:44:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:44:27Speaker 01

  They went skiing. I can't ski. Say hi to daddy. And I'm thinking, I'm missing memories, moments with my kids because what? I, I'm not taking care of my body and I'm not, I'm not at optimal health. So my 80 year old self would definitely tell my 50 year old self, when you're my age, 80, you don't wanna be stagnant and sitting in a chair. And I, I don't, you know.

• 1:44:52Lewis Howes?

  You don't want that.

• 1:44:52Speaker 01

  I don't want that.

• 1:44:53Lewis Howes?

  Final question, Sebastian, what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:44:58Speaker 01

  Definition of greatness?

• 1:45:04Speaker 01

  I don't think you can define yourself as great. I think greatness has to be from other people. Like, you know, Muhammad, he said he was the greatest, right? But that was just his kind of persona. To me, Michael Jordan is the best basketball player I've ever seen play. There's debate on that. But I think you're great when other people are applauding your greatness, not necessarily yourself. I mean, not to say that there's people out there saying I'm great. But greatness to me is, you know,

• 1:45:47Speaker 01

  you see something or you taste something and go, I've never seen or felt anything like that. So there's, and I think we're throwing greatness around too much. You know, there's just like, everybody, oh, he's a genius or he's the GOAT. I did a thing a year ago about the GOAT. Everybody's the GOAT now. I mean, goats are there. You know what I'm saying? So I think if we've reserved greatness for true greatness, it has much more meaning than if you start throwing this word around for every, everything that you see.

• 1:46:26Lewis Howes?

  I hope today's episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today's show with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me as well as ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcast. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend, leave us a review over on Apple Podcast and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels, at Lewis Howes. I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better. And if you want more inspiration from our world-class guests and content to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter

• 1:47:10Lewis Howes?

  and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com/newsletter. And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.