Becky G: Cheating & People Pleasing

Join Alex in the studio for an interview with Becky G! For the first time ever, Becky opens up about the state of her relationship, what it was like navigating a public cheating scandal, and the nuance that comes with truly being a strong woman. She also talks about stepping into her father’s role in her family, unlearning people pleasing tendencies, and how there’s always room for more than one woman at the top. Enjoy!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Southern New Hampshire University. Daddy gang, let's get real, okay? We like to make our own rules. Southern New Hampshire University gets it. They let you learn what you want with over 200 career-focused programs, where you want with 100% online courses, and how you want with no set class times. Basically, you get to call the shots from day one. Visit SNHU.edu/callherdaddy to learn more. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Fall is about finding pieces you love, making them your own and creating looks and spaces just right for the season. Whether you're updating a small apartment or a spacious home, drawn to timeless neutrals or bold seasonal touches,

• 0:45Alex Cooper?

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• 1:30Alex Cooper?

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• 2:13Alex Cooper?

  What is up Daddy Gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy.

• 2:22Alex Cooper?

  Becky G, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  Do I call you Daddy or Alex?

• 2:26Alex Cooper?

  You can call me whatever you want.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  I'll call you Boppy. Ooh.

• 2:30Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 2:31Speaker 01

  I'm just kidding.

• 2:32Alex Cooper?

  I will not, I will not get upset about that. Um, I have been so excited to talk to you. I feel like you have had just such an incredible massive career. I know you started at nine years old. Now your music has streamed over 28 billion times. You've sold out tours. You've received five Latin Grammy nominations. You've been in this industry for almost two decades, but I do still feel like there is so much to discover about you and so much of your story that hasn't fully been told. So I've been really looking forward to sit down with you.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  Same. Thank you so much for having me.

• 3:07Alex Cooper?

  Of course. I heard that on your rider, you always have tequila and your pre-show ritual is to take a tequila shot before. So I figured if you're down, I poured us two tequila shots.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Girl.

• 3:22Alex Cooper?

  No.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  I love this. This is gonna be my favorite podcast I've ever done, ever.

• 3:27Alex Cooper?

  I'm like, it's 1:00 PM. I wanna do a little cheers.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  It's 5 o'clock somewhere.

• 3:32Alex Cooper?

  What should we toast to?

• 3:34Speaker 01

  I think we should toast to, um, being big daddies in our fields. I think we should toast to the fact that I'm sitting in this couch because I've seen so many people that I love and admire sit right here across from you. And I just feel so, yeah, excited for this conversation. So toast to you.

• 3:55Alex Cooper?

  Cheers.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  Cheers. We'll do the para arriba.

• 3:57Alex Cooper?

  Para arriba.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  Para abajo.

• 3:58Alex Cooper?

  Para abajo.

• 3:59Speaker 01

  Para el centro.

• 4:00Alex Cooper?

  Para el centro.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  Para adentro.

• 4:01Alex Cooper?

  Para adentro. Oh shit, this looks big.

• 4:06Speaker 01

  These are really cute glasses.

• 4:09Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 4:09Speaker 01

  You took that down nice, girl.

• 4:11Alex Cooper?

  Well, I'm trying.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  Are you a tequila drinker?

• 4:13Alex Cooper?

  I am, but I'm more Reposado also. I was looking in your eyes and I'm like, why is she not flinching? So I'm trying not to flinch, but I'm like.

• 4:20Speaker 01

  I think you wore it nicely.

• 4:21Alex Cooper?

  Okay, okay. Yeah, we did that right. We did that right. Um, how did that become a tradition for you with your shows that you do that before every show?

• 4:28Speaker 01

  I'm Mexican.

• 4:30Alex Cooper?

  It just felt right.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, it just felt right. I know that sounds really funny, but I just feel like that's like our... It's like a celebratory thing. It's also like a warm-up thing. I'm sure you've heard singers talk about like hot toddies and stuff like that.

• 4:42Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  That's just like, I just wanted tequila straight.

• 4:45Alex Cooper?

  Is that your go-to drink?

• 4:46Speaker 01

  It really is.

• 4:46Alex Cooper?

  Just tequila straight?

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Just tequila on the rocks, or it could be, it could be warm, it could be mixed.

• 4:54Alex Cooper?

  I knew we were gonna get along. I will just have tequila on the rocks and I'm happy, happy. Um, fuck, marry, kill, tequila vodka gin.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  Oh, just fuck, marry, tequila, everything else can die.

• 5:08Alex Cooper?

  You don't drink anything else?

• 5:09Speaker 01

  You know, I do. I like wine. I'm gonna sound like an alcoholic. Oh, my God.

• 5:12Alex Cooper?

  I'm like, you're fine.

• 5:13Speaker 01

  Let me watch myself. Um, no, I love wines. Um, so is, you know what's funny? I feel like wines and food are great pairings for me. I'm also like a champagne girly every now and then. I love a little, a little bubbles. Um.

• 5:28Alex Cooper?

  But it's tequila.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  But tequila is just my shit. Yeah. I'll have a beer every now and then, a little chill on the side. Yeah.

• 5:36Alex Cooper?

  But tequila, okay?

• 5:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:37Alex Cooper?

  Okay, we're gonna kick it off with a game.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Oh, let's go.

• 5:40Alex Cooper?

  I'm gonna ask you some of your firsts and your worsts.

• 5:44Speaker 01

  Oof.

• 5:45Alex Cooper?

  Are you ready?

• 5:46Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 5:46Alex Cooper?

  Okay. What is the first thing you do every morning when you wake up?

• 5:51Speaker 01

  First thing I do every morning when I wake up? I don't know. Try to get it together, girl. Yeah, it depends on the season. If I'm in like recovery season, it's like meditation and make my morning coffee at home. Um, if it's a busy season, I'm probably panicking at the like multiple text messages that I've missed that have, you know, approvals that I need to get to and deadlines that need to be met. That's the season I'm in right now.

• 6:21Alex Cooper?

  It's funny, it's like, I want to be that girl that's not like, I look at my phone, but I'm like, oh, fuck, I am that person that's like, I look at my phone, I check, and I'm like, I need to stop.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, and so I do, I, I catch myself. I would say like, I try to, a balance is impossible to sustain all the time. It's just, you have to recalibrate.

• 6:38Alex Cooper?

  Okay, good answer. What's the worst habit you have?

• 6:42Speaker 01

  You know what it used to be? Biting my nails. These are my actual nails, y'all. I do not buy my nails no more.

• 6:51Alex Cooper?

  I am so bad at that, and that's why I just do gel. Cause I'm like, okay, who is the first celebrity that actually left you starstruck?

• 7:00Speaker 01

  Oh shit. Oh damn. You know what's so crazy? Okay, obviously you've probably had the same thing where it's like, this is what we do, right? So you're like, play it cool, play it cool. And you'll meet some people and there's so much more like human and chill than you thought they would be. So you're actually not as like, woo, like, oh my God, you're actually like, oh, you're cool as fuck. Like, we can have a conversation and I don't feel what I thought I was gonna feel. In the best way, not in a bad way. But I would say when I did the Oscars for the first time and I was doing the rehearsals on the stage, I wasn't even starstruck by the person themselves, but the photo cards that they have of them. You know how they have pictures of them?

• 7:37Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  Girl, Denzel Washington. I was like, I've seen him in so many movies. Like, why is it that I'm freaking out right now? Like, he's gonna be right there when I'm, when I'm singing, like, huh?

• 7:48Alex Cooper?

  That actually is such a good answer too, because it's not like Denzel Washington's like finding places to get paparazzi.

• 7:53Speaker 01

  Like mega, super famous people that are obviously like so worthy of like kiss the ground they walk on, you know, they're so incredible.

• 8:00Alex Cooper?

  No, that's a good answer. He's a legend.

• 8:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:03Alex Cooper?

  Um, okay, what's the worst rumor you've ever seen about yourself online?

• 8:08Speaker 01

  Look, I know AI is a touchy conversation these days. Um, but I be seeing the craziest pictures of myself.

• 8:17Alex Cooper?

  And they're fully AI.

• 8:18Speaker 01

  Like crazy, crazy.

• 8:20Alex Cooper?

  Has it ever been so bad?

• 8:22Speaker 01

  Now I know what I'm gonna look like when I'm pregnant and she's giving cutesy like I'm here for it.

• 8:26Alex Cooper?

  Dude, that's getting scary.

• 8:28Speaker 01

  It's scary.

• 8:29Alex Cooper?

  What is the worst date you've ever been on?

• 8:32Speaker 01

  Um, I remember still till this day, it is, I love food. So like if you have me choose between you and food, I'm gonna choose food because food's always been there for me, you know? Um, I remember it was so awkward and like me and this guy were like dating for some time too. So it was like, okay, you're getting a little too comfortable and I don't like this. Uh, but it was something as simple as like the food came and I was like eating and I'm, I do happy dances and like, I don't chew with my mouth open, but I take big bites, you know? I want to get a little bit of everything on the plate. And this homeboy has the choice of words to say, you know, it's not going anywhere, right?

• 9:15Speaker 01

  Like, okay.

• 9:16Alex Cooper?

  I would be so livid.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  No, I remember and I'm like, motherfucker, you brought me to Olive Garden. What did you think was gonna happen?

• 9:24Alex Cooper?

  Wait, okay, so he brought-

• 9:25Speaker 01

  Unlimited, unlimited breadsticks.

• 9:28Alex Cooper?

  Wait, those breadsticks?

• 9:30Speaker 01

  And the pasta.

• 9:32Alex Cooper?

  They won't be there forever.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  I know it's frozen technically, but it's so good. Like it's the consistency. It's just, you know?

• 9:39Alex Cooper?

  The fettuccine alfredo.

• 9:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:41Alex Cooper?

  Wow.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  You dip the breadstick in it, it's just, mm.

• 9:44Alex Cooper?

  What was your reaction?

• 9:46Speaker 01

  No, I just remember I kept eating my food. I was like, you're just background noise right now. Like I'm now I'm gonna chew with my mouth open. I hope you don't like me. Break up with me right now.

• 9:55Alex Cooper?

  You're like, I'm gonna finish this and then I'm gonna actually leave you. But again, I'm not leaving until I finish this meal.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, uh, and it's unlimited soup and salad, bitch, so.

• 10:03Alex Cooper?

  Girl, oh, I would be livid. Okay. What is your worst irrational fear?

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Worst irrational fear?

• 10:14Speaker 01

  You know, I had a feeling we'd get into like therapy talk eventually, but like this is a little soon. Um, I think just letting, it's not really irrational, I guess, but just like letting the people I love down. Like, yeah, the people I love down is like, letting them down is just, it's a lot.

• 10:32Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 10:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:34Alex Cooper?

  So let's get into therapy talk.

• 10:35Speaker 01

  Yes, let's do it, girl.

• 10:45Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Airbnb. As you guys know, I have basically been working double time throughout this pregnancy to bank episodes for the month that I will be on maternity leave. And a few weeks ago, it all just kind of hit me. I was like, wait, wait, wait, where did summer go? And I was talking about this with Matt and he ended up surprising me with a little staycation. He booked this beautiful home on Airbnb in Malibu so that we could pretend like it was summer while it's still warm here in LA. The weather was perfect. The house was right on the beach, which was so relaxing and amazing. It also had just such a gorgeous kitchen. We stayed in, we cooked dinner together. And you know, Daddy Gang, my cooking skills, they have,

• 11:29Alex Cooper?

  they have gotten better. They've gotten a little bit better through pregnancy. But it was really just so nice to unplug and spend that time together before the baby comes and we move into this completely new chapter of our life. So whether you're planning a cozy weekend away, or you're just looking for an excuse to unplug for a few days, October is the perfect time to get out of town. Booking a home on Airbnb makes the trip feel even more special because everyone has room to actually spend time together. Whether you're coming back after a long day out, or you're also just cooking dinner, Airbnb makes settling in even easier because you can order groceries for your trip and have all the snacks and essentials delivered after you arrive.

• 12:12Alex Cooper?

  My favorite fall trips always have one thing in common, an amazing place to stay. That's why I always look at Airbnb first. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Southern New Hampshire University. Daddy gang, let's get real, okay? We like to make our own rules. Southern New Hampshire University gets it. They let you learn what you want with over 200 career-focused programs, where you want with 100% online courses, and how you want with no set class times. Basically, you get to call the shots from day one. Visit SNHU.edu/callherdaddy to learn more.

• 12:48Alex Cooper?

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• 13:31Alex Cooper?

  they just become part of their feed. Shopify truly makes it so much easier for customers to discover and buy products wherever they're browsing. And this has been such a game changer for Unwell. I love being able to sell merch directly on all the Call Her Daddy channels. So everything is in one place for the daddy gang. So, ready to add entrepreneur to your list of accomplishments? Head to Shopify.com/daddy. That's Shopify.com/daddy. Okay, so take me back. Tell me about growing up in Los Angeles. Like, what was your community like?

• 14:06Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm a proud Inglewood native and I'm a proud Chicana, Mexican-American. I'm one of 19 grandchildren on my mom's side and one of 15 on my dad's. There's grandbabies or great-grandbabies now. So I'm a tia. I have nieces and nephews. And my baby sister just had a baby too. So the family just keeps growing. So I grew up around a lot of community. As my grandma would say, like mi pueblito, like my little village. Like, this is, this was everything for us growing up. So I feel like I grew up feeling supported and feeling like I was never truly alone, even though obviously you go through things in life that sometimes you do feel lonely in. I always

• 14:51Speaker 01

  had like my tribe.

• 14:52Alex Cooper?

  You had all these people, yeah.

• 14:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I would say Inglewood, you know, it's a predominantly brown and black community. I grew up watching the airplanes take off from LAX and land into LAX. And I would always wonder, where are those planes going and where are they coming from, you know? And now like it's so crazy to fast forward to where my life is now and I'm still here. I'm still in L A. I'm a proud Angelino. Um, but I'm on the planes now and I get to see my, my grandparents' houses. Depending on which side of the plane I'm sitting on, because if you know LAX and you're on a plane, if you're on the right side, you can see Inglewood on the right side. And if you're on the left side, you can see Hawthorne. And that's kind of like the South Bay, like that's like where my, my family is from.

• 15:35Alex Cooper?

  It is so crazy that like no matter how successful you get and where your life takes you, you still connect that younger version of yourself where like that little girl was like, I want to be on one of those planes one day and like, I want to see the world. And now every time you're on a plane, you're looking down being like, oh my gosh, I'm the girl on the plane now, which is really sweet.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:52Alex Cooper?

  Um, I do know that at nine years old, you decided to start working to help support your family, which is like, that is really, really young. That's about like third grade. Did it feel like a choice at the time?

• 16:09Speaker 01

  It did. I think older me now, looking back at it, considering the circumstances, there was definitely pressure, external pressure. Um, just from the, the system, I think around me to, to step up in some kind of way, but one thing I admire about Little Bex is that she was very much the driver of her life. Even if she wasn't, she was convinced she was. And I, I think this is a theme with like, I'm the oldest of four kids. I have two younger brothers and a little sister. And you just always got to know. Like even if I don't know, I gotta know. I gotta figure it out, you know? So, um, I very much knew what I was getting myself into.

• 16:54Speaker 01

  I very much wanted to pursue this. Considering that no one else in my family had ever worked in the entertainment industry, it was kind of out of the blue that all of a sudden, because I saw random Shirley Temple, you know, uh, multi, uh, V H S videos growing up. But I was like, oh, she did it. I can do it too, you know, or Dakota Fanning and, um, and so I, I, yeah, I just, I just did it.

• 17:23Alex Cooper?

  And I think what's interesting is like, having this passion that you were like, I want to do this, like no one told me to do this, like I really wanted to do this. But then inevitably, especially I think in the entertainment industry, because you're around so many adults, like. You are forced to grow up quickly in a way that no one can really prepare you for. And like, in what ways, I guess, did being praised for being, I'm assuming, getting called mature? Like, a lot of young girls do.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, the badge of honor.

• 17:51Alex Cooper?

  Yes, like, how did getting called mature and strong reinforce those traits? It's like the eldest daughter to like, step up and to take everything on yourself.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  I think it does feel very rewarding when you're young. You're like, oh, I'm doing something good, I'm doing something right. Me today is like, there's no such thing as good or bad, or right or wrong, there just is. And I think I very much was just trying to survive the circumstances that I was living. And when we lost our home, which was kind of like the catalyst, as well as, and I talk about this in my documentary, actually, but the addiction kind of playing a huge part in the four walls that I was growing up with, with my dad being an addict. We had nothing. We found ourselves living in my grandparents' converted garage. It's six of us, and, you know, there was no insulation.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  We did have carpet, it was just rolled out on the ground, though. Concrete on the other side, so it wasn't soft or plushy, but it was carpet. And it was, it wasn't tough, though. Like, you're a kid, there's a bit of naivety that I think was in my favor, if that makes sense? Because I was like, oh, it's a big sleepover every single night. Like, oh, I'm sharing a bed with my baby sister, like, oh, cuddles, you know? Like, it was never looked at as something that I was ashamed of, at least not yet. Because in that time, you're so young, you don't really know what's happening. Or you do, you have an idea, but you can't really do something about it, you know? So you're just, you're just making with what you got.

• 19:27Alex Cooper?

  And like, when you talk about how, you know, addiction and those four walls, like, when you look back, like, how long do you feel like you were in survival mode of like, there's nothing I can really do, I just gotta, I just gotta get up every day and go do my thing?

• 19:42Speaker 01

  I mean, the truth is, is it's generational. Yeah, it's generational and I, I think when you and anybody I think who's probably tuning in knows if you, you've grown up around addiction.

• 19:57Speaker 01

  It is, there's something there. It's, it's not always just drugs. It's not always just alcohol. You know, sometimes it's work. Um, there's a, an avoidance of type that fuels this, this deeper wound and that is absolutely generational. You know, so this is before my parents. This is before my, my grandparents even. Um, and I have a lot of empathy around that for sure, but. I, I would say then the, the moment I came out, you know, I had young, high school sweetheart parents who, who got married straight out and were like, we want to have a family. And by the time my mom was 23, she had all four kids.

• 20:35Alex Cooper?

  And I think what's so interesting when something is generational, it's like. It inevitably is so hard to not have it just be this like normalized, understood thing. That it actually takes someone going against the grain and making things like a little uncomfortable or calling things out to actually have it not continue to be this transgenerational trauma. But that takes such an effort to break. And so when you are such a young child. How are you going to do anything other than like fall in line and play your role? And then eventually when you have some more autonomy, then you'll be able to look back and be like, huh, what would I have changed about that dynamic?

• 21:16Alex Cooper?

  But until you have that, there's nothing you can really do. And I think something that could be really relatable to. The audience watching is like, it, it makes me think back to that word mature as a young girl, like. You shouldn't have to be mature at such a young age. So when you are given that validation, that makes you feel like you're in the inner circle of adults. It's intoxicating, but what it really is when you get older, you look back, you're like, that's really fucking dangerous to tell a young woman like you're so mature, you're so strong. It's like. But should I have had to be that mature and strong? Like, did you ever feel like, why am I carrying a lot of this weight? Like, did, when did that click for you? Cause I'm assuming it did.

• 21:58Speaker 01

  It absolutely did. It manifested physically before it did, uh, with like full conscious awareness. So a lot of my symptoms were, uh, full blown panic attacks, multiple day, um. Chronic people pleasing.

• 22:14Speaker 01

  I just, the words no, like, the way my body would just like literally like contortion in a sense if I like really felt to know and I had to say it and then and most times I would fold and I'd be like, okay, well, maybe not like because I'd see the reaction on the other side. Growing up in this industry longer than I've ever not been doing it. It was like the perfect storm. So it starts within the household, right? The four walls that I grew up in, but then the conditioning that happens in the industry. It's very rewarding when you start to gain success for being such a chronic people pleaser because you're like, wow, you love me? You, you choose me when I'm doing what you want me to do.

• 22:57Alex Cooper?

  But what you're also though saying Becky is like you grew up in a place where you were people pleasing.

• 23:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, how many times did I have to say yes?

• 23:05Alex Cooper?

  Right. So no wasn't really a part.

• 23:06Speaker 01

  It wasn't really an option. It didn't feel like it.

• 23:09Alex Cooper?

  Can you also talk about you mentioned earlier, which I think so many people will relate to is also the added level of complexity of being the eldest daughter.

• 23:19Speaker 01

  Oh, girl, you want to get into uh birth order theories? We can do that. We can do all of attachment theories. I I am definitely someone who I think in the beginning was like, oh, I'm just an empath. Like that just is, you know, like, and and I am. I am somebody who chooses to lead with um, you know, kindness and awareness around how someone is allowed to feel, how they want to feel, even if it doesn't align with where I'm at. But that's like the progress part that I've gotten to. If we rewind a few years ago. Yeah, I was like, oh, I'm just, I have to be a self-sacrificer.

• 24:00Speaker 01

  I have to give up mine for the greater good. I have to, you know, think logically and not about how I actually feel. And I think a lot of

• 24:12Speaker 01

  Firstborns feel that way, but what's cool about learning about birth order theory, because I'm the oldest of four and I will stand ten toes down for my brothers and my sister. I'm so thankful that they exist and they are my best friends. Um, they didn't have it easy either, you know? So it's not that like firstborns have it the hardest, but it's that we have a different version of our parents. All of us do.

• 24:39Alex Cooper?

  It's such a good point because I have friends who are the oldest child and that is so in line with what they've said. And then also I think any of my friends who are the oldest and had some instability in their home. A lot of times we talk about how a parentified child develops such a high EQ because you're so hyper aware of every single person's emotions in your family and it almost forces you to be one step ahead of every situation so that you know like, this is how I'll solve it, this is how I'll handle it, like this is going on with my parents, like this is how I'm gonna save my siblings, this is how I'm gonna save myself, this is how I'm gonna fix the situation. And you're constantly having to be ahead and thinking of everyone but yourself.

• 25:23Alex Cooper?

  And it's hard to realize that everyone's emotions are not your responsibility.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:28Alex Cooper?

  And I'm curious if you have any advice now as you've like clearly done a lot of work on yourself and lived a lot of life to anyone who is watching that has still that like weight or burden of being the oldest child and taking on so much responsibility.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, wait, as you're saying this, it's literally making me think about, there was a time where I, oh my God, this is gonna be really embarrassing to share. I don't think I've ever shared this story, but um, I remember I was, we were going through a lot as a family and I was like, I was offered this opportunity to be a part of like this like Disney holiday experience and I was gonna perform and it was gonna be the coolest thing ever. And I, me and my family, we're from Cali, like we loved going to Disneyland growing up. And my baby sister had never been to Disney World before. So I was like, oh my God, like, you know, things are not so good at home. I'm gonna take my baby sister to Disney World, this is gonna be amazing. Um, I'm gonna do some work, but we're gonna have a good time.

• 26:33Speaker 01

  Do drinks around the world. And Epcot. And have one too many. And I wake up in my hotel room. And I'm like. Wait, the sun hasn't even gone down yet? Like, what happened? Like, I was in full panic mode, palpitations. Like, I'm sweating. I'm looking at my sister, and the moment I look at her, I just start crying. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. And my sister's like crying, but she's like laughing. She's like, this is my baby sister, guys. And we're, because we're going through so much at home, I was like, I wanted to like, take her to have a break from everything that we've been going through. And then here I am, getting all topsy-turvy, upside down.

• 27:15Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, but it sounds like Becky, it's because you needed a break.

• 27:19Speaker 01

  Girl, I hit a complete breaking point. And I'm over here crucifying myself, right? And I'm like, I'm the worst sister on the planet. Like, I can't believe I did this. Like, I ruined the trip. Like, I'm so sorry. I'm like, profusely apologizing to her. I'm apologizing to my girls who were on the trip. Uh, Morgan, who we were talking about earlier, my stylist, shout out to Morgan. Um, you know, and, and so it was like a very small group of us. And I, I call them to the room and I like, I'm like putting on this like, you know, confessional, like apology of like, why I did what I did. And I'm explaining myself. And they're literally looking at me like, are you serious right now? As they're still tipsy, by the way.

• 27:58Alex Cooper?

  Right, they're like, girl.

• 27:59Speaker 01

  They're like, do you know what I have done? Blackout drunk.

• 28:03Alex Cooper?

  And also like, girl, like, you, all of us are here because of you. You, you were looking at your sister being like, I am going to give you the reprieve that you need. Meanwhile, it's like, what we just talked about, like, hey, actually, seems like someone may need it a little bit more.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  Me. I needed it a little bit more. And yeah, me pasé de copa. And I was just like.

• 28:26Speaker 01

  And I walked away from it being like, wait. And so it just led to a much more open conversation around other young women my age. Who were like, wait, don't do this to yourself. Like. By the way, you know, that's like a thing, right? People go drinking around Epcot and it's like a challenge of like, how far can you go? And bitch, you made it to Frozen. Like you were like, let it go, let it go. And we were like, yes, like, let it go.

• 28:51Alex Cooper?

  And you're in your head thinking you ruin everyone's time.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:55Alex Cooper?

  And you're like, oh my God, I ruined this whole thing. And it's like, girl.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  And like, why couldn't I just?

• 29:01Alex Cooper?

  Because of those people pleasing tendencies where you're like, it's, you're so hardwired essentially.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:07Alex Cooper?

  Ready for the worst case scenario, ready to make sure that everyone else is comfortable. And everyone's like. Becky, go back to bed. You're like, oh, yeah, that's.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  That's just like a good example. Like, you know, some people are just like, girl, I don't even remember what happened. Wasn't that so funny? No, I was like, oh my God, I don't even remember what happened. Like, how did we get back? Like. Oh my God, I put my baby sister in the worst position as if she's not also like a whole like. Grown ass, young woman herself, you know? And so it was just like one of those times where I was like, yo, I need to check in with myself. And I need to like dive into this. Like, why am I hanging myself up for something that? Should actually lead me to more curiosity.

• 29:49Alex Cooper?

  Yes. Like, what is going on? And it's like, what's so crazy? Cause I have siblings too, and I'm the youngest, but it's like when. You have dynamics with your siblings, no matter how old you get. You still kind of see each other in those four walls that you grew up in. And so when you are around your siblings, like my siblings and I have had some really beautiful conversations around like. Regressing almost when we're around each other. Cause like, I still feel like the baby and you still feel like my oldest sister and like. There's so much history that. You meet adults and you're a complete different person to these people that you're interacting with. They don't see you as the oldest daughter. They don't see you as someone who was trying to help provide for them.

• 30:30Alex Cooper?

  So there's like so much ingrained in family dynamics that are so beautiful, but also like they can be really big wounds that you have to like actively recognize and be like, girl, your baby sister is fine. You took her to Disneyland and she's a big enough adult that she could have managed herself. You can't ruin her time.

• 30:48Speaker 01

  Well, the party continued. Like I stayed in the room. I ate some chicken nuggets and I definitely was like, I needed to sober up and take a shower. But the party continued with the vibes and the Disney of it on. Everything was fine. Everything was totally fine. By the way, I was like, is there pictures? Is there videos? Like, did somebody catch me off guard? And they were like, no. Like you were so normal. Like you were so fine, but I was going through so much.

• 31:10Alex Cooper?

  Panicking.

• 31:10Speaker 01

  That I like completely shut off. And like, you know, I think that that, that is like a really good example of like, just how far on the spectrum you can go of like codependency, people pleasing. Like you don't give yourself any space and grace to just be a young 20 something year old figuring it out.

• 31:30Alex Cooper?

  I was gonna say, it also feels like from your upbringing, like you really had to be in such control at all times. Cause there was no plan B. There was no safety net. It's like, you need to figure this out because there's no other option. And um, I know you had a complicated relationship with your father. How did that dynamic influence just like decisions you made growing up as a child?

• 31:56Speaker 01

  You know, it's really interesting looking back at it now. I think I had a lot of anger. Um, anger wasn't an easy emotion for me to process. Obviously they say anger is sadness. Uh, what is it? Sadness is a bodyguard. And so my anger, I would put towards my career. I just thought that the more successful I became, the more uh, I made uh, the less this would be an issue. And if I became a better husband to my mother and I became a better father to my siblings, then you know, maybe he'll figure it out.

• 32:36Speaker 01

  You can't do the work for someone else, you know, and I, I wish, yes, of course, you can't go back in time, but I wish younger me had someone to, to lean on and also hear that from. Because it is this like unspoken permission that you give yourself to say, you know what? Not my problem.

• 33:00Alex Cooper?

  It takes a long time to get there.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  It takes a lot. And when it feels like the whole entire family system depends on you for that. And by the way, every person who plays a part in that system feels the same way, right? So it's like, like I said, it's this like unspoken thing, but yeah, it's definitely something that I wore for a really long time. And there was a lot of avoidance with that, um, with my dad and I, I just tried to out dad my dad. That's how I became a big daddy, you know?

• 33:29Alex Cooper?

  How do you think like that essentially it sounds like, yes, anger and resentment towards your father? Like, how do you think it impacted your view of like, just like authoritative figures at a young age? Like, did you respect male figures and adults? Were you scared of them?

• 33:46Speaker 01

  I think it made me more vulnerable. I didn't necessarily respect my dad. And we've had many conversations about this. Um, I had no respect for him and, and the choices that he was making. I still had love for him. And so the care to want to continue to move things along for the sake of my siblings and their mental health and their emotional wellbeing, that desperate need was, was very much present. But it made me vulnerable to looking to other men in the industry to be like the one who was gonna look out for me. Like big brother figures or other father figures and like, these people are not your daddy. They are not your big brother. They are, they can be healthy partners actually in business. But if you put this like very young filter on it, you are, you're like, wow, no one's ever looked out for me

• 34:31Speaker 01

  or believed in me in that way. And you, you hold the keys to, to, to the, the treasure box that I'm, I'm trying to unlock of, of what's gonna get me to where it is that I, I know I can get. And so you are, you absolutely are vulnerable to it. But that was something that I needed to work through. That wasn't anyone else's fault, you know?

• 34:50Alex Cooper?

  That point too, and I bet so many women will relate to what you're talking about was like, the feeling of never ending, like you just said, like, I wanted to out dad my dad. That is like, Such a heavy thing to feel cuz

• 35:06Alex Cooper?

  you're you're never gonna be the dad of your family, but you tried clearly. And then that's gonna like linger, yes, into these male relationships where you're like, can you play this one role that I needed in this role like? What did outdadding your dad look like in your childhood for you?

• 35:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I became the sole provider for my family by sixteen years old.

• 35:24Alex Cooper?

  Girl.

• 35:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. And it looked like being at, you know, peaks on charts and not having any health insurance. Because when you work in the entertainment industry, you know how that goes. Like, it's not, you don't. Health insurance isn't built into a record deal, you know, like, these are things that, you know, uh, I was able to provide for myself, but like, when it came to my family, I was like, my dad's losing his job, like, my siblings gotta get through school, tuitions have to get paid, like, and they deserve to play sports if they want to, like, cuz they're good at it and and I I I have an escape. They deserve an escape too. So it was like, I just needed to produce

• 36:05Speaker 01

  more than for myself, but for everyone else since, yeah, since my very, very early teen years.

• 36:12Alex Cooper?

  There's so much pressure to put on yourself.

• 36:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, it it was. It was a lot.

• 36:16Alex Cooper?

  Was anyone there to support you?

• 36:20Speaker 01

  I think that people were there to support me in the best ways they knew how to. Yeah, I think my mom. Oh, my God, my mom is my girl, like, my mom is is somebody who, even when she didn't know what was going on, I think she had a good read on things. I remember they're getting, uh, it getting to a point where, um, I had worked so hard to to to get far in my career and optically, things were very successful. Behind closed doors, things were not very successful. Um, financially, you know, I was carrying a lot of weight. And so if I was just a single girl living on her own, like, I'd be just fine. But I'm providing for my whole family and, you know,

• 37:05Speaker 01

  it looks a lot different. And so I remember just kinda like finally like looking up and being like, wow, I'm still here. Like, I'm still here and not in a good way. Like, I haven't moved forward. Like, I'm still in the same neighborhood I grew up in. I'm still dealing with the same shit when it comes to like my parents and their marriage. I'm still carrying these weights. I'm still, and I, and I thought I, I reached like a milestone at that point that many my age hadn't even really breached. And I was still hung up on the fact that like, but we're still here, like, you know, and, and I think that my mom, when she's witnessing me in that moment,

• 37:51Speaker 01

  you know, it gets to a point where you had a breaking point. You're like, I, this pressure is unbearable that like, I don't even want to exist anymore. And I remember my mom grabbing me by the face and telling me, "You could choose to never pick up a microphone ever again, and I promise you it's okay."

• 38:08Speaker 01

  "You, you're good. We'll figure it out. We've always figured it out. Like, it's not on you. This isn't on you." And she took that off of me.

• 38:15Alex Cooper?

  Were you able to fully hear that, though? Like, could you believe it?

• 38:18Speaker 01

  I did not receive it. Girl, that's a whole other thing. Was I willing to receive it? No. Because again, the system isn't, it's, it's subconscious. It's not, I don't think our parents go through life saying, "I want to cause our kids harm." I don't think our grandparents do that, saying, "I want to cause my kids harm." You know, these are just things that systemically exist. You know, and so when I say it's generational, like, it's generational. And so I'm like, yeah, but somebody's got to do it. Because if I don't, who else will? And that was the voice that kept me going for a really long time, until I ended up in therapy and I was like, "Yeah, I can't. This isn't sustainable."

• 39:05Alex Cooper?

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• 39:50Alex Cooper?

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• 40:31Alex Cooper?

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• 41:14Alex Cooper?

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• 41:53Alex Cooper?

  I feel like so much of our dynamic with our parents shapes the partners we choose and how we show up in relationships. Like, looking back, how do you think your upbringing influenced the relationships that you were drawn to?

• 42:09Speaker 01

  Oh, tremendously, tremendously. I think the first time we ever experienced love is through our parents' eyes. You know, and it's, yes, of course, in the way they love us, but also in the way they love each other.

• 42:26Speaker 01

  And I think I grew up in a culture, I mean, it's gonna sound funny, but it was like very ride or die. And like me today is like, if I ride, why do I gotta die? Like, why do we gotta die? Where are we going? I wanna know. Like, if I'm riding, there's some conditions here, there's some boundaries that I'd like to put in place, you know? But it was very much this, like, my grandma would say this phrase to my mom with my dad and in regards to their marriage. Like, ponte las guantes, mija, like, put your gloves on, like, you're gonna fight for your marriage. And I remember being young and being like, well, that's very one-sided, like, shouldn't it be both sides? Like, shouldn't it be? But you can only meet people as deep as they've met themselves. And I think my mom had a very profound way of loving.

• 43:12Speaker 01

  And my dad did too, but it just looked very differently. You know, it looked very different.

• 43:17Alex Cooper?

  I know you grew up in a household where one of your parents cheated. And then in your documentary, you opened up about being betrayed by your partner. How did you decide to share that with the world?

• 43:31Speaker 01

  You know, I remember going into that process with the documentary in particularly. And there being conversations about, are you gonna talk about this, you know, very public situation? Are you not gonna talk about it? And I was like, well, we're gonna talk about it. We have to. To me, I've always believed, like, half the truth is still a lie. And there was conversations about, like, well, I just wouldn't even mention it. Like, some people don't even know what happened. Like, some people don't even, even are looking for it. And I'm like, yeah, but how can I have been in a relationship with someone for so many years? And do a body of work, you know, that's supposed to really...

• 44:09Speaker 01

  Capture where I am in this time in my life and also my history. And control all delete and pretend that this person never existed, you know, and I was in many relationships, but particularly in a long-term relationship since I was nineteen years old. And I know that there's like things online about like the nineteen theory, like, you know, when you go, I think anybody who gets into a a serious relationship at a young age isn't conscious of the fact that you are gonna shed and you are gonna go through seasons and that doesn't stop necessarily. But in your younger adult years, I think I had a very strong sense of self based off of old programming.

• 44:51Speaker 01

  And when I went through this very public situation with my partner, it was like this like awakening. It was this like moment of like, oh, there's a massive misalignment in who I thought I was and who I actually am. And I think that that happens a lot for people who grow up in family systems where it's like you can see it on someone else. So easy to judge someone else and say, oh, my God, like, don't you see it? You know? And then you can find yourself on the other side of that table the next day and be like, wait, hold on.

• 45:31Speaker 01

  Not everything is what it seems. And also, I am not my mother and he is not my father. And so there's also the possibility that there's an opportunity here for there to be some healing, whether together or not.

• 45:46Speaker 01

  An opportunity, though, nonetheless, to really practice what it is to be the person that I know I want to be in this world versus who I thought I was. Right? And and and that's like going so far back into, again, the conditioning of the chronic people pleasing and like wanting to just say yes and wanting to be like sweep it under the rug and keep it moving, you know? Yeah, and even like, I appreciate you saying that because I think

• 46:16Alex Cooper?

  Having had, like you just, like we're talking about, like watching your father cheat on your mother and being like, "Okay, I have a documentary moment where I have something playing out in my life that to me at face value could look like I'm reliving what happened to my parents. But now I need to assess it and be like, I can't let my shit from my past influence. Like what is how I feel right now with this partner and what do I want to do? Like, do you mind talking about just like when you found out? Like, how did it affect you? Because you're obviously in such a more healed place now, but like I've been there.

• 46:56Alex Cooper?

  I have been there, girl, where like I stayed with someone who cheated and I wanted to stay, but I was, it was so complicated because those decisions are like, people are judging, you don't know how to react. Like, how did you handle all this in the moment?

• 47:11Speaker 01

  I think also you saying like you wanting to stay, it's interesting because your want isn't enough. Like you can want it so bad, but that's just not enough, you know? And I think that understanding where that want comes from is also really important. Because if you're just doing it to want to prove other people wrong, then you're just doing it for others and that's not a good place, you know, to come from. And it's interesting because, well, first off, I've never talked about this. So it is, uh, I'm thankful for the safe space to be able to talk about it because some of the stuff that I was challenged with,

• 47:46Speaker 01

  there's a private heartbreak that's taking place and then there's a public heartbreak that's taking place. And both are extremely painful. But what was, I think, the hardest part for me to navigate through was giving myself that space and grace to make that decision for myself. And that was one of those moments where it was an opportunity for me to heal and look inward as to, okay, whether it's... This person or another person that I get into a relationship with, I'm capable of still making these same decisions. So this is more than just like, uh, well, let me be the Barbie that everybody wants me to be and play, uh, Cupid with all of these cute guys in the industry that everybody wants me to be with.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  And because my life is supposed to be entertainment for other people. Or, um, let me, um, you know, really listen to what other people's, uh, perception is on what an empowered woman is. Um, you know, this very binary thinking, right? I wanted to go there. I really did. Oh, man, the therapy sessions that I had of this like very black and white space that I was existing in. It's like, you know, and, and it was very clear to me that it was a space where I needed to decide for myself.

• 49:00Alex Cooper?

  But that's so hard, Becky, because like I, I think we all know, like there, especially because you were handling it in the public and private, like you just said, there is such a loud narrative, especially for women of like, if you stay, you don't respect yourself. If you stay, you're weak. And like, what, what is your take on that assumption? And how did you manage to like block that out and be like, what do I want?

• 49:29Speaker 01

  It's interesting you say that. There's a, a quote that Esther Perel, who I know you've even spoken to, who I love. I have the biggest girl crush on her.

• 49:38Alex Cooper?

  She's amazing.

• 49:39Speaker 01

  I remember hearing something along the lines of like, you know, back in the days, women used to be shamed for leaving. It was just a mistake. How could you leave? How could you throw it all away? You know, he can change. And then now it's like the opposite. Now it's like, if you stay, you're a dumb bitch. You're a dumb bitch. You so stupid. I cannot believe her. Oh my God, I could never, I could never. And it's like the girls who would say, I could never, like, I actually love that for you. I love that that's where you started, that that was your ground zero. That was not my ground zero. My ground zero was people pleasing, self-sacrificing, doing what other people wanted me to do, forgetting that I mattered in that equation and this was an opportunity in my life.

• 50:24Speaker 01

  To unlock and go inward and make this about me, which was so uncomfortable. You know, it was really, really uncomfortable to go inward and say, wait, this is about me and what I want. And if you know me, you know that I do not make decisions passively. And it was so hard to shut out the noise. And the insiders say, she didn't, she didn't even say anything. They just swept it under the rug and kept it moving like, no, I called off my engagement. I took off my ring. Like, there are things here that took place behind closed doors privately between me and this person who I love and care for deeply, who I've been betrayed by. And we could go into the spectrum of betrayal because it looks different for everybody.

• 51:08Speaker 01

  But the thing about betrayal is it doesn't just make you not trust the other person. You don't trust yourself anymore. And so that was like, this ain't even about you anymore. This isn't even about them anymore. This is about me. And there was something so empowering about that process to say, no, I come first. This is about me, what do I want? And there has to be alignment with the person on the other side. Like I said earlier, like the want isn't enough. The love isn't enough. Like, it, love is, it's a beautiful thing to experience for someone. But, I mean, considering everything I went through with my family, like, I, I walked away from my dad.

• 51:52Speaker 01

  Like, it wasn't something that I wasn't willing to do. And so I think the misalignment from how, from a public perspective, how it was so, uh, and I'm not really like a controversial person, you know? Maybe getting, getting black out drunk at Disney World is probably the most controversial thing I've done. So it was so unfamiliar for me to kind of like wear this like, uh, I don't know, this thing that was projected onto me that I am like not an empowered woman, that I'm a contradiction about what I sing about. And it's like, no, those feelings are real. What I sing about is real. Like, those, there's so much more nuance to emotions. Like, you're putting me in a box and everything I've ever worked for is now being squeezed into

• 52:36Speaker 01

  this tiny, like, I'm, I'm put to be this small all of a sudden. And it's like, everything else I had ever worked on didn't matter anymore. And like, of course, I was, you think I was mad at everybody in the world. I was mad at him too. I was like, come on. Why do I gotta be put in this position? You know?

• 52:53Alex Cooper?

  It's so hard. It's like, almost like when someone experiences it with their friends and family not wanting them to go back, like, imagining that heightened to the hundredth degree where the world is like, what are you doing? What are you doing? And then putting the world aside for a second, because I think this can be really relatable. Because again, I went through it. Like, how did you navigate the emotions of feeling so hurt? But loving someone so much?

• 53:23Speaker 01

  I think that emotions aren't forever.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  They're temporary. They come and they go. I can't make life decisions based off of other people's emotions in my comment section. You know, I think when you are a person on a platform or of some type of celebrity uh, and fame, you are a bit of like a mirror to other people sometimes. And they think they're seeing you, but really what they're seeing is themselves. And so maybe they've gone through something and that's why when, when a girl stands on her, I could never, I'm like, girl, from now this point on, I could never. Trust me when I say, I just had to get there. Like I said, their zero was that. Mine had to be learned, experienced, felt, processed. Um, and, and really like worked on with real professional intervention before I could make that decision.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  And that was, that, that's what was really, I guess, um, important to me when it came to the documentary and like talking about it. I was, you know, some people were like, it's very unresolved. Like, are they together? Are they not? And I was like, well, that, that's what it was. It was three years ago and it was unresolved. We didn't know. What was, we were gonna, we were committed to working on it and we were committed to figuring it out because when you spend that much time with someone, it's not that.

• 54:37Speaker 01

  You want to forgive and forget? You almost have to remember. You have to remember what you come from.

• 54:47Speaker 01

  And the hurt that's been caused to know that you don't want to be capable of ever doing that to someone else ever again. And I got to experience that and I did, there were close people to me with enough, I think, discernment to know that people who don't know me don't should not have a say in what I do with my life. Um, but there was people in my close circle who were protective of me, of course, who were just as hurt and upset about what happened, but also just as curious and also just as um supportive of the figuring it out because if if this was gonna end, it was gonna end amicably, it was gonna end with clarity and with real resolution and with respect because that's that's what I deserve. You know?

• 55:32Speaker 01

  And if it's gonna continue, uh, in the words of Esther Perrow, I I love her, um, it's gotta be a new relationship. Because what was can no longer be anymore. And I know that there's a lot of things with like betrayal, you know, in relationships, any type of betrayal trauma in general, it's like, it'll never be the same again, but maybe that's the point.

• 55:52Speaker 01

  You know?

• 55:52Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, it's such a, it is such a great point. Can I ask, are you still together?

• 55:58Speaker 01

  Girl. Yes, yes.

• 56:01Alex Cooper?

  Okay, so can we talk about like, one, how does it feel right now, just like talking about this for the first time?

• 56:06Speaker 01

  I got butterflies.

• 56:07Alex Cooper?

  Well, I'm happy for you because I remember in the days, weeks and like month following when this happened to me. Um, when this happens, like your your reality is so shattered. Because like you said, you don't trust yourself, you don't trust him, you're like, wait, what, what, what just happened? I'm really struggling to.

• 56:27Alex Cooper?

  Understand how we got here. How did you stabilize your reality? And what questions did you need to start asking yourself that you're kind of referring to? That got you to the place where you knew you wanted to move forward?

• 56:40Speaker 01

  I think removing myself from the relationship. Yeah, and in a way that was

• 56:47Speaker 01

  about not just like self-preservation, obviously, like I was distraught and and and broken in a lot of ways. But I think it was more like removing myself from the context of anyone I've ever had to be something to. So it was much deeper, like what came from this revelation wasn't just like my romantic relationship with this particular person. It's like every romantic relationship I've ever been in. Every family relationship I've ever had, every business, girl, every business relationship I've ever had. How? How many dynamics have I been in where this version of myself has been in the driver's seat? And and really taking the time to evaluate it,

• 57:30Speaker 01

  feel it, understand it, and then come to a place where then my needs, my wants are a lot more clear. And then getting to, you know, uh, uh, what is it called, like conscious uncoupling? You know, like conscious uncoupling? To then be like, this is the new baseline. Is there still alignment in where it is that we see ourselves? You know, and that was really empowering, not just for me, I think for the for the both of us. But um, but especially for me, like getting to a place where I was like, oh, no, like I'm allowed to change, I'm allowed to evolve, and I'm allowed to exist in this so much differently. And if I'm capable of doing it, what actions are you doing that proves that you are committed to the same thing?

• 58:13Speaker 01

  And that takes time, like that doesn't happen in weeks. That doesn't even happen in months. Like this happens with continued effort and experiences and willingness and and it's it's that commitment to being different on on both sides. I'd say that really is what unlocks the the healing of it all.

• 58:33Alex Cooper?

  How did you?

• 58:36Alex Cooper?

  Start to rebuild trust and like, how did he meet you there? Cause I think it, it really can't just yes be on the person who was the person who strayed. Like you also, like you're saying, have to take up accountability to also be like, I'm not going to hold this over your head. I am choosing to move forward. Like, what did rebuilding that trust look like for both of you?

• 58:57Speaker 01

  I think you just know. I think it's just, it's so, it is, uh, I, I remember being like, okay, well, I can't trust my gut. Cause my gut has led me into some funny places, right? If I'm always going this off of survival mode. So like really, um, I don't think over analyzing it, but really being honest with yourself at what part is coming up? Like I did in, in individual therapy and family therapy and couples therapy. Like I do a lot of parts work and it's so helpful for me because it makes me understand that I'm not just this version of myself right now. I'm every version and this one and will be many more, you know? So like that grace that we were talking about before was something that I felt like I needed to take my time with.

• 59:41Speaker 01

  And so it was just, it was just me. I was really like learning to give myself the space and empowering myself with the experiences, with professional intervention especially, to be able to, to feel good about this decision. Because like I said, I think that whole like it, it'll never be the same again. Like something about that was actually exciting. Like, oh, there can be something new and it's like, oh, I'm not the same version of myself that I was when I was 19, when you first met me. You're not the same person that you were at 22, when I first met you. Like we are very, or 23, uh, very different versions of ourselves today, you know?

• 1:00:25Speaker 01

  And, and so I don't know, it's just this like earned wisdom, I guess you can say that kind of. Is the guide in that?

• 1:00:31Alex Cooper?

  And I think what's so powerful, what you're talking about and very relatable is how you're talking about, it's not just you as Becky at this age, going through this with your partner. It's still like I, we talked about the beginning of this is like the younger you watching your dad cheat on your mom and watching your mom with like the boxing glove analogy and being like, well, why do I gotta die? Like, why do I gotta ride or die? Like, what if we can have these honest conversations? To go back a little bit to your childhood, how did you really, really have to consciously work to be like, my emotions right now are about my partner in this?

• 1:01:14Alex Cooper?

  Or are my emotions right now about what my father did to my mother? And how am I gonna try to differentiate the two?

• 1:01:20Speaker 01

  That awareness was very evident to me from the, from the, from the beginning, I think. Um, at, at least in this season of my life, when, when this took place. And so, yeah, I knew I couldn't trust myself in that moment to make any decision. It was like, it was again, very binary in my thinking. It was like, you're either fuck yes or absolutely not. And it was like, I'm gonna end up in the same situation, if not here with someone else. And I need to take this time to figure out why, like why? What is the why?

• 1:01:51Alex Cooper?

  I remember, I think it's in your documentary, you kind of talk about how your dad wasn't like entirely secretive about his infidelity with you and it put you in some really difficult situations. Like, how, when you look back at your younger self, do you think those moments impacted you as a little girl?

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, it, of course it impacts you. I think it definitely leaves an impression of like, oh, so that just happens. And like younger me, teenage me, out working my dad, being a better husband, being a better father, really standing on my, I could never, it's different when you end up in your own situations, you know? And like I said, it wasn't just this particular relationship. It was like every relationship I had ever been in was a dynamic of me hoping that things would be different and masking this like subconsciousness of passiveness around this. To stay or to leave is anyone's choice to make, you know, for themselves.

• 1:02:53Speaker 01

  And I made my choice and I, I made it. From parts of me that I, like I said, really worked on and earned to feel good about that decision.

• 1:03:04Speaker 01

  But I also can see all the other sides now, you know, and it's it's really a relief to be able to talk about it because I know that there's so many people who don't know me, fans who are very supportive and very loving, um, you know, who who saw me kind of going through this from an outside lens, not knowing the details, not knowing everything that actually happened, not knowing that what you see is not always what it is. Um, and and I feel like for them to know, like, it wasn't something that was done passively and it wasn't something that wasn't done taking everything into consideration. Um, it's not that it was important to me for validation, but it was important for me in the sense of standing up for myself.

• 1:03:45Alex Cooper?

  Absolutely. And I also, just to like, reiterate what you're saying, I think it's so, I can even feel it from you. I'm also happy you're talking about it because I can imagine even if you don't give a shit about what the internet says or whatever, like, it is a little bit of an attack on your character when people are calling you weak or whatever. And you're like, there's so much that you don't owe people to tell them the amount of work you were doing behind the scenes. But what I what I would assume is like, this is one of the most amazing parts of your life now that you've worked through it and this is someone you genuinely love. And so to not be able to like, feel fully like you can celebrate it because there has been this stigma. Like, I hope this now allows you to just like, release that and know that like,

• 1:04:30Alex Cooper?

  there shouldn't be judgment around this and you shouldn't have had to explain this. But now that you do, I can imagine there are so many women listening being like, okay, like how many of us have stayed and it did work out and that's beautiful. And if you didn't, that's beautiful for you, but we can't judge anyone's situation, right?

• 1:04:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, without really knowing. It's interesting you say, I appreciate all of that. I I will say, going back to like the piece that I feel, I don't think it's that I was waiting at all for anybody. I think it was more just feeling like, I wanted to catch people up to speed on my time instead of on other people's time, like going back to the pressure cooker, like. I also wasn't hiding, like we go to the grocery store together, we, you know, like we have good times together, we are closest friends and family, you know, know what it is and that's really all that matters to me, but I think, um, but it's that peace, you know, the, the difference between secrecy and privacy was unclear to me at a young age, growing up in the industry with everything and anything. And I think anybody who grew up on the internet, like I got discovered

• 1:05:33Speaker 01

  at 14 years old, making covers on YouTube. So I thought like, what I eat for breakfast, everybody should know. When I take a shit on the toilet, hey y'all, guess what I'm doing, sitting on the toilet. You know, like all that era of like real time posting, like, I don't know, it's my relationship with it is so different and has definitely, um, in, in a more evolved way matured, um, that feels right sized to the version of me that I am today, which is I don't have it all figured out. I am absolutely not perfect, but do I feel empowered? Yes, because empowerment as a woman isn't being perfect, it's living in your truth and standing in your truth and owning

• 1:06:16Speaker 01

  that there is a spectrum and array of experiences and emotions and opportunities that are gonna be taking place in this lifetime. And if I'm not fully present for it, that's where I'm really cutting myself short. And so to be fully present in this moment with you, talking about what it's taken to get here, you know, from the beginning up until this point is, yeah, it feels really good and feels really liberating. It's, it's kind of what's been inspiring everything I've been working on, so.

• 1:06:48Alex Cooper?

  It's amazing because you can see how also passionate you are about this current era, I guess, essentially you're in.

• 1:06:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:56Alex Cooper?

  Can you see yourself getting married?

• 1:06:58Speaker 01

  Can I see? Absolutely, girl.

• 1:07:00Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 1:07:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:01Alex Cooper?

  Good to know.

• 1:07:02Speaker 01

  I would love to. I'm like, re-propose to me. Why not? Propose to me every year, why not?

• 1:07:08Alex Cooper?

  I love it.

• 1:07:08Speaker 01

  I've seen, there was actually this really cute TikTok trend about this woman who is, uh, sharing that and I thought it was adorable. But yeah, I guess it's to each their own, you know?

• 1:07:16Alex Cooper?

  I think something that's so- Incredible about you is like you're so positive. And I think that when people are faced with really difficult situations in their life, not this specifically, but just like everything we're talking about. There's kind of a choice you have to make. It's either going to define you or you're going to take it and you're going to grow from it. How have you managed to reframe challenges in your life and be so positive?

• 1:07:45Speaker 01

  Can I just say this, I can say the same about you. No, I actually think like PTG, post-traumatic growth is a choice. And I do think that there is a shift in mentality that happened for me where it was like, I don't want to be a victim of anything. I want to be a survivor of things. And also we deserve so much more than just to survive life, but to actually thrive in it. And that is also available to us too. And so I can change my mind today and that's okay. And I can, you know, embrace different versions of myself that thought they knew what was best and not shame them or judge them. And same for future versions of myself.

• 1:08:30Speaker 01

  Like I can build her up and I can be her greatest champion because I know she's waiting for me. Like a relay, like this is, this shit's a marathon, girl. And we are all running it with ourselves and we just got to keep going. But constantly, of course, with connecting with ourselves, understanding like, what is it actually going to take of me? What is it going to cost me? Because when I say yes to something, I'm also saying no to something else. And if I'm saying no to something that actually means more to me, like I should take time to understand that, you know? And so with everything that's been taking place with my growth now being kind of the...

• 1:09:10Speaker 01

  The source of inspiration, um, the phoenix that I feel that I am rising from the ashes of, of so much that I had to overcome in my younger years. I just feel like, I know it sounds funny and we talk about being a bad bitch, but like, man, like it feels really good to know, like, I've always, she's always been there. This isn't like a new era. This isn't like, this is just an expansion of who I am. You know, like, I'm just evolving.

• 1:09:39Alex Cooper?

  And I think it's so inspiring for people listening, cause like, I can assure everyone that you and I have both sat in moments in our life where it has felt like the lowest and it has felt so horrible. And the positive you can tell yourself when you are going through the toughest times is knowing all of this is going to make you stronger. And then you will sit here one day like Becky G being like, girl, I feel like a bad bitch. I feel confident. And it's like, because the amount of things that try to chip away at your confidence and your self-esteem, if you do not become a victim of those circumstances and you actually use it as power and strength, you end up just being like, oh, I am unstoppable. As corny

• 1:10:21Alex Cooper?

  as it sounds, like, I think for women, it's important to hear, cause it is such a fucking hard ride that all of us in our own journeys have to ride. But when you start to kind of re-shift that mentality, it doesn't happen overnight. But at some point, you're like, am I gonna just keep getting fucking knocked down and be like, this is so depressing. This person did this to me. I hate that. Or you can actually change your entire life if you just reframe the way you look at things.

• 1:10:46Speaker 01

  And it is a lot easier said than done. Uh, my advice would be to feel it. Like, shit is still shit. You could put perfume on it. You could put a bow on it. You could put sprinkles on it, bedazzle it. It's still shit. Let the shit be shit. It's a shitty situation. Like, give yourself permission to feel it. Because once you can allow yourself, emotions are energy, emotion. So let it go through you.

• 1:11:14Alex Cooper?

  Let the shit be the shit.

• 1:11:15Speaker 01

  Let the shit be shit. And remember, you're always deep down inside, you are that bitch. Like, you really are. And she's just gotta like, we forget, like, I think we live in such a hustle culture, where it's like, we're like proud to be like, I'm burnt out. Like, oh my God, I haven't slept. Like, don't be proud of that, Mama. Like, rest, recover, like prioritize like your, your well-being. Like, these are things that like, of course, I had to learn. But like, I, I definitely hold so much grace for the past versions of myself that had led me to this version because I'm just like, damn, like, we really are out here functioning, thinking that like, it's just gonna move on. And it's like, this too shall pass is something that I've lived by,

• 1:12:00Speaker 01

  um, for sure. But I think that, you know, life will keep meeting you with the same lessons until you actually listen and learn it. And you, you can think, oh, you know, different job, or different person, or different environment. Like, I've moved my life across the world. You will continue to attract the same things if you don't level up your frequency and nurture yourself and put yourself first.

• 1:12:30Alex Cooper?

  Girl.

• 1:12:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:31Alex Cooper?

  We all needed that.

• 1:12:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:41Alex Cooper?

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• 1:13:25Alex Cooper?

  all your data in one place. Klaviyo's AI agents answer them 24/7 in your voice and build your campaigns from one prompt, emails, texts, and WhatsApp. Plus Klaviyo finds your next sale before you do. It's time to meet your new CRM BFF. Go to K L A V I Y O dot com slash best friends. I want to also talk about how that kind of becomes unapplicable to the industry you're in with regard to women. It's no secret that the world is set up to make us feel like there's only space for one woman in the room. And I think in your specific situation, the

• 1:14:08Alex Cooper?

  media constantly tries to pit you and other artists against each other. How have you navigated this throughout your career?

• 1:14:17Speaker 01

  I think we are realizing that I always say juntas somos más, together we are so much more. And I've been blessed that in my career, I've been able to lead with that mentality. And there were situations growing up in this industry, whether it was on in the English market or in the Spanish market, which now I'm just like, I'm Spanglish speaking. I have no English, no Spanish. I just am who I am. But specifically in the earlier years, where it was very separate, that programming was still the same, like deeply rooted in the media and in the industry systems. And it was interesting going into like, Spanish music, because it was the most empowered

• 1:14:57Speaker 01

  I ever felt as a young woman in my artistry. But it was the most macho world that I could be involved in. And there was very few of us at the time. And it was like an iconic, like, few of us, you know, that were doing it like, in the mainstream way. And I look back at it and it's like, the fact that radio or playlisting had the audacity to be like, we can only have one female in rotation. And I'm like, so you're gonna say that to me, Carol G, Nati Natasha, Anita, like, who are all global superstars in their own right today, but was Carol G from

• 1:15:39Speaker 01

  Colombia, Anita from Brazil, you know, Becky G coming from LA, Nati Natasha coming from, you know, the Dominican Republic, like, That's what we're, that's what we were dealing with. We were dealing with being on, you know, radio show, um, radio shows, like festivals and stuff and, you know, you're toe to toe. Like, it was so cool to be a part. I, I, to me, my experience in it was really great because there was a lot of synergy with where we wanted to come together. But, um, you know, we're toe to toe with our boys, like, on the charts. And we're like, ha ha, you know, we're all gang, gang and hanging out. And they're just as supportive of us, but we're looking at their shows like, well, they've got 20 dancers and crazy scaffolding and amazing lighting programming.

• 1:16:23Speaker 01

  And I'm here with four dancers and my DJ, who's my cousin, who's been with me since day one. And we are very limited because what we're getting compared to what our male counterparts are getting, looks very different. And instead of being like, why don't we get what they get? It was like, alright, we're gonna work together. So, um, we're gonna get the same makeup artist. I'm gonna get the early shift, you'll get the later shift, or swap, swap skis on the next show. And I'll get her flights and you book her hotel. And then, you know Angie, right? Angie, Angie was our girl. Angie, she's that girl.

• 1:16:57Alex Cooper?

  The best beat ever. Angie, shout out, she has the best beat.

• 1:16:59Speaker 01

  Shout out, Angie Mar. Um, so Angie would come with us and she'd be glam with all the girls. And we'd all be like pitching in and it'd be like, we all look amazing. We all have the beat that we wanted. We all have like the, the styling and the everything because we were working together behind the scenes. And I don't think people really know that, that that type of like teamwork was already being practiced backstage. And it was this like iron sharpens iron. Like, it's not personal. It's not me versus you. It's us versus the system. And damn, it was so powerful. Like, we made history together. All the female collaborations that I've ever put together have done incredible things. Like, history making numbers.

• 1:17:42Speaker 01

  And that make, brings me so much pride because it's so much more than a hit song. Like, hit songs happen every single fucking day. I saw something bigger. The amount of times somebody would tell me, if you think it's such a hit, why would you share it with somebody else? Like, why, why do you want to do this with them? And- Because it's them and I'm me and us together is we, which is massive. Like I needed to see that as a little girl. So I don't know. I guess for me, it's not really like, how do we prove to other people that we're deserving and worthy? No, we know we're deserving. We know we're worthy. Y'all better catch up or get out the way.

• 1:18:23Alex Cooper?

  And how incredible because no, I don't think a lot of us knew that story. I think it's pretty, again, rare because the system is set up for women to feel so competitive with each other. The fact that you four women looked at each other and you were like, let's all go in on this together to basically support, help further all of our careers. That is such a testament to an exact example of how we actually can all further put a bunch of us up the hill instead of one person.

• 1:18:54Speaker 01

  And that's just how I move. Like, and I, and I hope it does inspire more people. You know, I, I do think that it's unfortunate that we are still having the one seat at the table conversation. But like, look around, other tables are being built and you can build your own and it doesn't have to be what it was. It can be something new. Going back to like that radical change in your mind, like you can change your mind, you know, you can, you have the power to do so.

• 1:19:19Alex Cooper?

  It's amazing. Can we talk about your new music?

• 1:19:21Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:19:23Alex Cooper?

  You have a new single, Marathon, and you look so good in this music video. I was mesmerized. I'm like,

• 1:19:30Speaker 01

  We really? Wait, what did you think? I need to know.

• 1:19:32Alex Cooper?

  It's so, like, I was literally, this is me, I'm sitting at my kitchen table and I was watching and I was literally like this.

• 1:19:39Alex Cooper?

  The outfits, the glam, the styling, the dancers, the whole thing. I'm like, you're, you're amazing. You're incredible.

• 1:19:46Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:19:46Alex Cooper?

  And you're so talented, but like, what can you tell us about it? Like, how did this come together? How did this song come together? What does it mean to you?

• 1:19:54Speaker 01

  It was just like this divine alignment. I don't know how else to explain it other than that. Like, it was just this, like, taking my power back. And when I did Marathon, I was like,

• 1:20:07Speaker 01

  This just really encompasses exactly where I am, exactly where I am, and exactly where my audience is because the alignment of what's happening with Shower and Marathon, like a decade and plus, and I have, you know, the comment section saying, "This is my middle school song and my favorite, my freshman year, this is my favorite." I was like, technically mine too. We all grew up together, we all have been out here pushing forward, like doing what we do, doing the best that we can, and the fact that there's this energy of just like, and we're gonna keep going, it's just, I don't know, it feels so special.

• 1:20:42Alex Cooper?

  Well, and it is such, it's such a good song where you're like, I like wanna like, get ready to this when I'm going out with my girlfriends, I wanna listen to this, like when I'm alone in the car and I need a little like confidence, like it has all of those things that you want in a song, but it's also so clearly your style, like it's just so right, and I'm so happy for you, like it's such, it's really incredible, like I'm obsessed.

• 1:21:07Speaker 01

  Thank you so much, that makes me so happy.

• 1:21:09Alex Cooper?

  What went into the writing process?

• 1:21:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I would say the whole process from like beginning to end, including like music video and even like playing it for fans before its actual release, was like so interesting, um, and how like, there was just a lot of things that were just like, oh, this is meant to be, oh, this is meant to be.

• 1:21:29Alex Cooper?

  Can you feel it when you have a song?

• 1:21:31Speaker 01

  You can feel, I really do think, I know there's, there has been moments where I'm like, you know, I don't think you really know, like you don't really know what's gonna happen, I, there have been moments where I'm like, oh, this feels so good, this feels so right, I don't even really care what happens after this.

• 1:21:44Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:44Speaker 01

  It's just so right, like this is just, oh, it feels great. Um, and to get to that and my artistry at this phase of my career, having been through so much, it's like so beautiful and such a blessing to be able to feel that and know that that's possible. Um, but from beginning to finish, it was like, it was just a good time. Like everything that I've made in this season is like, even if we're crying, We're crying in the club, girl. Like, we are, you know, like, it's a vibe. It's it's meant to bring joy. And that was important to me because everything that is happening right now, like, around us, is not like, there, it's not giving joy.

• 1:22:25Speaker 01

  Like, it's not, it's not been giving joy. It's been giving pressure. It's been giving hate. It's been giving so much negativity. And to be in a position of privilege as an artist, earned privilege to get into a space where I feel safe enough to lean into my individuality, my empowerment, my, like, just this liberation. I was like, I need to put this into a song so that I can microdose it to my fans so that if they are going through something, like, they listen to this song, they know they could shake their ass, and they deserve to shake their ass. Like, they deserve this moment right now for themselves. And Marathon is like, that's like, you gotta have that hype, girl. You gotta be your own biggest hype girl.

• 1:23:05Alex Cooper?

  Before we go, in your documentary, you said Becky G came to save Rebecca. What relationship do you feel like Becky G and Rebecca have today?

• 1:23:15Speaker 01

  Oh, man. I did say that, huh? I would say that, look, I've been blessed to collaborate with so many amazing artists in my career, but I feel like this is my greatest collaboration yet. Me with myself. Yeah. It's been beautiful to know that, like, Becky G, the boss, the person who says it how it is, who goes on stage and doesn't second guess herself. She's very much real. And Rebecca, who is this more vulnerable, more passionate, um, more intimate, more sensual side of myself, is also a star in what I've been doing lately.

• 1:23:58Speaker 01

  So it's just like, yeah, I'd say they're like the best collaborators now. Yeah.

• 1:24:02Alex Cooper?

  I think it is such a beautiful message to anyone watching of like your circumstances growing up don't need to define you, but you can use them as your greatest strengths. And now the fact that you make music for people and like even you saying like, I do this for my fans. I want them. If you're having a bad day, you can listen to my music. Like you're still doing what you did at a young age, but now in the capacity, like you said, where it is like genuinely something you want to do. You don't have to do it. And that's incredible.

• 1:24:29Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 1:24:30Alex Cooper?

  I'm a fan. I'm truly like so inspired by you and like, I can't thank you enough for your time and for sharing so much about your life today.

• 1:24:38Speaker 01

  No, I can say the same. The feeling is absolutely mutual. It's funny. One thing I did think about before coming into this is what I admire most about you is that you really are a facilitator for a safe space. And so when it comes to like, you know, we want to keep things light as a feather today. Like, let's just talk about the fit, girl. Like, let's just talk about your outfit. That's totally fine. And if we want to go as deep as the ocean, like, I'm right here with you. Let's talk therapy. Let's go there. And I think that that, uh, that is something that obviously for someone in my position is just such a blessing because ultimately anybody who's listening to this, like, we're all just human beings. We're all looking for quality connection

• 1:25:19Speaker 01

  in life. And there is no difference between me, you, and whoever the hell is listening to this in their car, at home, with their homegirls, or all alone. Like, we're just, we deserve, yeah, we deserve that.

• 1:25:32Alex Cooper?

  No, this is the girl talk we needed.

• 1:25:36Speaker 01

  Thanks.

• 1:25:36Alex Cooper?

  Becky G, thank you so much for coming on Call Her Daddy.

• 1:25:38Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 1:25:54Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Fall is about finding pieces you love, making them your own, and creating looks and spaces just right for the season. Whether you're updating a small apartment or a spacious home, drawn to timeless neutrals, or bold seasonal touches, Easy to imagine what's next and bring your fall vision to life. Ross makes fashion accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off other retailers prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Klaviyo. So Klaviyo says it's your brand's best friend.

• 1:26:33Alex Cooper?

  Both claim, but here's the thing. Klaviyo knows your brand, your tone, your customers, all your data in one place. Klaviyo's AI agents answer them 24/7 in your voice and build your campaigns from one prompt emails, texts, and WhatsApp. Plus Klaviyo finds your next sale before you do. It's time to meet your new CRM BFF. Go to K L A V I Y O dot com slash best friends. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Pandora Jewelry. I love to accessorize my outfits with jewelry, obviously. And I feel like all the time depending on my outfit, it's going to be kind of dependent on what jewelry I'm wanting to wear that day.

• 1:27:16Alex Cooper?

  Discover Pandora Talisman, a new collection designed to help you express every side of who you are. Because the most powerful statement you can make is being yourself, obviously. Daddy gang, they have meaningful Zodiac symbols and personalized jewelry pieces. Each design tells a story that's uniquely yours, a reflection of what you stand for, what you believe, and how you choose to show up every day. Pandora Talisman, a new language of self-expression because every version of you deserves to be seen. Shop new styles in store or online at pandora.net.