Ep 579 - Crumb & The Hutt (feat. Joe Derosa & Lemaire Lee)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod WATCH MATT'S NEW SPESH 'A HUMBLE OFFERING' on NETFLIX October 7th Go See Joe Live @ https://www.joederosa.com/ Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ hello. Here we are with the cast. Hope you're all having a good week so far. Matt's out on the Beast coast this week (peep MSSB on the paytch). We got Salacious Crumb to join us in his absence. Hot Cast. Please enjoy. God Bless. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wild, wild west.

• 0:01Speaker 01

  I can still swap it out.

• 0:03Speaker 02

  If that.

• 0:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:04Speaker 02

  It's probably, it's probably less than that. Yeah, it's.

• 0:08Speaker 00

  What'd you say, zest the ass? Alright, let's get started.

• 0:14Speaker 00

  Damn, one second in and you're gay.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  You can get a decent eighty fiver for like seven, eight hundred bucks.

• 0:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  I mean, I mean, you can go all the way up to three grand or whatever, but.

• 0:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:26Speaker 03

  You talking extra on top of the seventy something?

• 0:28Speaker 01

  No, no, no. The seventy five was only six.

• 0:33Speaker 00

  You get the four K. You guys are on a star podcast?

• 0:35Speaker 01

  I'm ready, dude.

• 0:36Speaker 00

  Oh, you were doing it? That was what you want to do?

• 0:39Speaker 01

  I'm just sitting waiting for you to say, let's go.

• 0:41Speaker 00

  Let's talk TV prices.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude.

• 0:43Speaker 00

  Fire it up.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  You gonna be in my ass all day?

• 0:45Speaker 00

  Matt's gone, so uh, I was just really scraping the fucking.

• 0:51Speaker 00

  I'm just joking, man. Happy to have you. Look, man, your anxiety, I know where you're at.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  Where we at?

• 0:57Speaker 00

  Once you get clean and sober like me.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  You're a fucking animal, dude.

• 1:02Speaker 00

  I'm sorry.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  You, you don't drink for two days, you think you're fucking living right?

• 1:06Speaker 00

  Who doesn't? After three days, I go, I'm fucking fine.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  I go for one day, I have one healthy shit, I'm like, oh, I'm fine.

• 1:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, what the fuck? The fuck was I worried about the last thirty years?

• 1:20Speaker 01

  I've been doing this stuff called dose.

• 1:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:23Speaker 01

  You know what I'm talking about?

• 1:24Speaker 00

  It's supposed to help. We'll see.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  Dude, it does. Your energy, it like, jacks your energy up.

• 1:29Speaker 00

  What does it do?

• 1:30Speaker 01

  I don't know, I have it, I have it, uh, whatever. You gotta do it every day. It's a liver cleanse. And uh.

• 1:37Speaker 00

  It's for guys who don't really want to stop drinking.

• 1:41Speaker 00

  It's a little supplement on Instagram where they go, you've talked about being a booze bag a lot. We've picked that up. And here's your liver, liver health in your algorithm.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50Speaker 02

  I don't want to stop drinking. It's too fun.

• 1:51Speaker 00

  Yeah. Hey, I'll tell you what, I've, I've, I got my hands on a little Revolutionary Ward doc.

• 1:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57Speaker 00

  You want to know, how do you think we came up with the name United States of America? No one even thinks about it, do they?

• 2:03Speaker 01

  Well, I just assumed it was a bunch of states that would be united.

• 2:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, but you still gotta come up with a name when you go, we're declaring independence. What the fuck do we call ourselves?

• 2:12Speaker 01

  I feel like it was early on and you called things what they were back then. You weren't, you weren't gonna come up with a fancy name. You were gonna just say, this is what it is. We're, it's a fuck you to the king, the United States of America.

• 2:22Speaker 00

  I like, I like that you're trying to sell that you're wrong, but I like it.

• 2:25Speaker 01

  I mean, I have no idea, cause I don't nerd out these dots.

• 2:28Speaker 00

  Okay, Star Wars dad.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Freddy Krueger's issue?

• 2:36Speaker 00

  But no, I never even took the time to think about it.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  But it's not that simple? It's not just like this?

• 2:41Speaker 00

  You can't just be like, uh, we all agree, this is what we're calling it. Cause everybody has to come together and be like, what do we?

• 2:47Speaker 02

  What is in America anyway? You know?

• 2:51Speaker 00

  That's a good point, Lemaire. What's a Europe?

• 2:53Speaker 02

  Shit dude.

• 2:54Speaker 00

  What's in Africa?

• 2:55Speaker 02

  Dude.

• 2:56Speaker 00

  You're asking a hard hitting question. I always thought it was named after Amerigo Vespucci.

• 3:02Speaker 00

  That's what they, which I think that's been debunked, proven false.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, the Columbus Indians thing is probably false too.

• 3:11Speaker 00

  Probably.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  That he called them Indians because he thought it was in India.

• 3:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think he knew exactly where he was.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  There was like a term they were called that said, people of God. And it was like in, I forget, I forget what it is.

• 3:23Speaker 00

  I thought he called them Spanish for, well, anyway.

• 3:26Speaker 01

  Anyway.

• 3:26Speaker 00

  Turns out, yeah, just some fucking guy wrote into a local paper, the Pennsylvania Post and said, we should be the United States of America. It was like an editorial. And he's, he didn't write his real name. His, his pseudonym was Republicus.

• 3:46Speaker 00

  Fucking badass, Republicus.

• 3:49Speaker 00

  Fired me up last night. Also, is there a bigger juice on the planet? That's the juice. Writing into the paper and going, we should call this country, United States of America. Also, my name's Republicus. And the whole country was like, yo, United States of America is sick, dude. I bet a USA chant started, almost like the first guy was like, USA. U S A.

• 4:19Speaker 00

  Republicus.

• 4:21Speaker 02

  You know, in the music docs, they like, they're like, hmm.

• 4:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  Fucking war pigs. They did that with the USA.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  But wait a minute, why, uh, but I agree with Lemaire. Wh- wh- what does America come from if it's not the American Vespucci guy?

• 4:37Speaker 00

  I'm not sure. I, I think it might be America.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  What if it was Vespucci's Voltaire?

• 4:43Speaker 00

  What?

• 4:45Speaker 02

  I said, what if, uh, Republicus was Vespucci's Voltaire?

• 4:49Speaker 00

  What does that mean?

• 4:49Speaker 02

  Voltaire, it's like a.

• 4:50Speaker 00

  I know who Voltaire is.

• 4:51Speaker 02

  He was an art, yeah, he had a fake name and then, you know, he got in trouble. And people say if you have a fake name, you have a Voltaire.

• 5:00Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  I didn't know that.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  Sorry.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  It's all right.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  I didn't mean to be smart.

• 5:05Speaker 00

  What you said?

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Like, what if, uh, Republicus is Vespucci?

• 5:10Speaker 00

  No, it was.

• 5:11Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 5:12Speaker 00

  It was, uh, it was like two, 300 years later.

• 5:15Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 5:16Speaker 00

  So.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  All right. All right. Yeah, well, shit, man.

• 5:23Speaker 00

  You live and you learn. No, I think they said it was, uh, Thomas Paine or. N- uh. I think they said that might have been Republicus. They don't know who Republicus was.

• 5:37Speaker 03

  Chat G P P still says it's from America Vespucci.

• 5:41Speaker 02

  All right.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  All right.

• 5:42Speaker 03

  But it's the feminine Latin form of America's, which I kind of like America's more.

• 5:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, I like America's.

• 5:48Speaker 01

  America's is good. Yeah, U S on the end of a word or a name or O R.

• 5:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, you like some Latin.

• 5:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. Us, Republicus, Republicore, like, they sound like Transformer names.

• 6:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, or He-Man names.

• 6:02Speaker 00

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• 6:29Matt McCusker?

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• 7:00Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:01Matt McCusker?

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• 7:40Speaker 00

  Incredible. Yeah.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  I saw this little fucking shadow pig. Scouring at home where.

• 7:47Speaker 00

  He is a little rat, dude.

• 7:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude, he's a shadow pig.

• 7:51Speaker 00

  You can't tell he's a pig because he's always like, oh, yeah.

• 7:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:55Speaker 00

  Uh.

• 7:55Speaker 01

  Shits in the corner.

• 7:56Speaker 00

  Oh, shit, he's blacked out.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:59Speaker 00

  I see, there's no, there's not like a real, it's like when a British person's retarded.

• 8:04Speaker 00

  This guy's smart.

• 8:07Speaker 00

  Like with Gargol, he's always sounds like he's blacked out. Hey, yeah.

• 8:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:13Speaker 00

  Uh.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  Just smoking cedars in the corner, dude. Back to back American spirit yellows.

• 8:17Speaker 00

  That's what he'd be doing so.

• 8:18Speaker 01

  Blues.

• 8:19Speaker 00

  Yeah. You can't tell.

• 8:21Speaker 01

  Where was the bird last night? Yeah.

• 8:23Speaker 00

  See?

• 8:23Speaker 01

  That's a garden.

• 8:24Speaker 00

  That was a sober man.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:26Speaker 00

  You were sober man? How late were you out?

• 8:28Speaker 01

  I saw you like ten thirty. I was just getting to the Kill Tony after hang. It was like ten fifteen, ten thirty, and he was walking out with his girl. I was like, where are you guys going? And his girl went, we're gonna go home. And I could see the shadow pig's eyes like what he wanted to stay, dude.

• 8:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, you hit him with one of these like.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  No, that's not true. I wanted to go home. He's like, yeah, I'm happy to be going home, man.

• 8:53Speaker 00

  It's good.

• 8:56Speaker 00

  I'm gonna take a break.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  I was happy to go. You missed out. We got fucked up.

• 9:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, you guys had a good time?

• 9:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, we had a nice time.

• 9:03Speaker 00

  I had a good time. I was watching an American Revolutionary War doc. Shit was tight. Don't think you understand.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  Well, tell me about it, man. I love, this is one of my favorite things about you, and I truly do mean it. I am enamored by the fact that you truly love history. And you, like, I wish I loved something that was of use like that. I only love nerdy shit.

• 9:26Speaker 00

  Really of use for me to be like, republicus.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  No, but it's history. Like, like, I, I, I only get in, like, I swear to God, dude, I'm not kidding. I'll get into like the He-Man mythology, the way you'll get into Civil War. I, it's like, it's, it's the kind of shit that excites me.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  Deep mythos, brother.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, He-Man's dope as shit.

• 9:44Speaker 00

  History is, yeah, whatever.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wish I liked history. I know, I wish, I know.

• 9:49Speaker 00

  And it tells you why we're, where we're at. But, uh, you know what I was thinking about? You know how they think like tar and feathering is kind of funny?

• 9:57Speaker 01

  Wait.

• 9:58Speaker 00

  Like, it's like a silly thing. They're like, oh, we tarred and feathered him, huh? That was like a brutal.

• 10:03Speaker 01

  No, it's horrible.

• 10:04Speaker 00

  Horrific.

• 10:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:06Speaker 00

  Scolding hot tar. It like killed people.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:10Speaker 00

  It's like one of the worst deaths.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  It burned your skin off and the feathers would fuse into your skin.

• 10:16Speaker 00

  Fucking horrific.

• 10:16Speaker 02

  It became a chicken.

• 10:17Speaker 00

  There's a, there's a, thank you, there's a, uh, maybe, never mind.

• 10:24Speaker 00

  I was about to, I had to walk that back. I was about to be so racist. I was about to be as racist as possible. That was crazy.

• 10:34Speaker 00

  But no, you ever see John Adams?

• 10:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:38Speaker 00

  Great, great mini series, but they tar and feather a guy in that and it always stuck with me. And then I watched, I watched the first two episodes last night and they're two hours. I don't know if I'm allowed to say it, but I got my hands on the Ken Burns Revolutionary War. It's not out yet.

• 10:52Speaker 01

  Oh, nice.

• 10:52Speaker 00

  And my, my manager sent it to me at like 10. And I was like, I'm watching this right now.

• 10:57Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 10:57Speaker 00

  I watched it for four hours. It's fucking great.

• 11:00Speaker 01

  Uh, so that's the document watching?

• 11:03Speaker 00

  Yeah. I feel like I'm not allowed to say it.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  You're not even, you're not even allowed to say you've been watching it. You're spilling the beans of stuff that's in it, dude.

• 11:09Speaker 00

  Well, it's historical fact.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  Nobody knew about Republicans.

• 11:12Speaker 00

  I know, Republicans is nice. No one's gonna watch, I mean, not, there's a lot of people that watch this that don't get down with Ken Burns. They should.

• 11:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, Ken Burns is a.

• 11:21Speaker 00

  Ken Burns Vietnam was fucking nice.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  We were talking about this, I don't remember if it was you and me or not, but what was the doc? Was like Ken Burns's Sergeant Pepper's, like what's the doc that broke him? I think it's the jazz one, cause I remember my friend Scott had the box set, the, the soundtrack of that. And I just remember that Ken Burns jazz documentary was like everywhere. And I was like, that's the one I feel like made him.

• 11:46Speaker 00

  I think, I mean, for me, it was the Civil War one.

• 11:49Speaker 01

  Right.

• 11:50Speaker 00

  Ken Burns Civil War, Ken Burns, baseball is fucking nice.

• 11:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I heard baseball was good.

• 11:54Speaker 00

  Big one. And then his brother puts out docs too. Like one of them did Brooklyn Bridge. Which is nice.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  What are they, the boring brothers?

• 12:07Speaker 00

  I mean, probably, yeah. Probably the most boring fucking guys.

• 12:12Speaker 00

  Is both of them sitting there in sweaters?

• 12:15Speaker 01

  Just looking at books?

• 12:16Speaker 00

  Looking at fucking books, dude.

• 12:18Speaker 01

  Come on, man. Pick up some video games.

• 12:21Speaker 00

  Play the Viges and Jack all.

• 12:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude. You gotta make Ken Burns, the Revolutionary War, the video game. I'd be all in on that.

• 12:28Speaker 00

  That would be nice.

• 12:29Speaker 01

  What is the, um, what's his brother's name?

• 12:31Speaker 00

  I forget.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  The, and you also love Louis Theroux?

• 12:35Speaker 00

  Louis Theroux is great, yeah.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like him. He's a little more of a provocative documentary.

• 12:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  But my favorite one he did was the, was the Courtney Love one.

• 12:44Speaker 00

  Did you ever see his Miami, when he goes into super prisons?

• 12:48Speaker 01

  No.

• 12:49Speaker 00

  As funny as it gets. He's just in there with black dudes that are like, we fucking, we have to beat your ass. And he's like, no, why? What if I don't want to fight? Oh, you're gonna have to fight. We gonna fuck you up. He's like, but, but you don't have to do that.

• 13:04Speaker 00

  It's pretty great.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  You know, the, one of the best docs I've ever seen?

• 13:08Speaker 00

  Is his new one about the right wing?

• 13:11Speaker 02

  No, his new one's about, uh...

• 13:12Speaker 00

  Israel, Palestine?

• 13:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, I haven't, I haven't watched it. I heard it was pretty fucking good.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  He goes deep, man. The first Scientology one I ever saw, the guys like threatening him and shit. It was crazy, dude.

• 13:22Speaker 00

  Does he interview a settler in that?

• 13:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:25Speaker 00

  And she's just like, fully like, oh, yeah.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:29Speaker 00

  Not great.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  They were saying the whole time, they're like, they can leave or...

• 13:36Speaker 02

  That's what the settlers were saying.

• 13:42Speaker 01

  Did you see Netanyahu where he compares himself to Hitler?

• 13:46Speaker 02

  He compared himself to Hitler?

• 13:48Speaker 01

  He's, dude, I swear to you, I watched it three times. I was like, he can't be saying that. But he's like, he's like, they say, uh, you know, step back, step down. And he's like, you don't just stand aside and say, here you go. You have the land. Adolf Hitler didn't do that. I was like, no, no, no, no, no.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  I looked at the caption and it was like, Netanyahu compares himself to Hitler. I was like, holy shit, I think he just did that.

• 14:14Speaker 00

  Are you sure it was not AI? Cause I've been tricked. They're getting real good at just showing a speech and changing like two words.

• 14:23Speaker 01

  Can you, uh, Gardini, can you look that up?

• 14:25Speaker 00

  Was he saying, maybe he meant, uh, what he was trying to say was?

• 14:29Speaker 01

  The opposite.

• 14:30Speaker 00

  People didn't placate Hitler. Like when he was taking all the land.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  Doesn't sound like he showed that because they're, it's like, it's as they're doing the ground strike now.

• 14:39Speaker 00

  He's doing a lot of stuff that, uh...

• 14:44Speaker 01

  He's doing a lot of stuff.

• 14:45Speaker 00

  He's doing a lot of stuff.

• 14:47Speaker 02

  Can I say, this is another Kanye was right moment?

• 14:53Speaker 01

  Did you ever see the Gavin Mcgittes interview with Kanye?

• 14:56Speaker 00

  No.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  Where he goes, he goes, and Kanye's in the full black, like ski mask hood thing. Where you can't see his face. And Gavin goes, now, look, he's like, you know, there are statistics about black people, about the crime and stuff like that. He goes, but when you meet a black person, you don't take those statistics into it. You start with a clean slate and you judge them as a person. Do you do that with Jews? And Kanye goes, nope.

• 15:22Speaker 01

  And Gavin Mcgittes starts laughing, he goes, this intervention is not going well.

• 15:28Speaker 00

  I think it was going right where Gavin wanted it too.

• 15:34Speaker 00

  Well, there we go. What else is going on? We're just remembering stuff we saw. I like that.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  I have a good doc to recommend. It's only 30 minutes long. It's called The Quilters. And it's, it's, no, no, listen to me, trust me.

• 15:46Speaker 00

  It doesn't sound great.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  Trust me. It's on HBO. It's like 30 minutes long. It's about a maximum security prison. And there are these level five convicts, which means level five is murder. Like it's all the worst crimes. And there's a quilt shop in there and they make quilts for like needy children. And they're super into it. And these guys that got like murder, double murder, whatever, they're in the quilt shop and they're like, here's all their fabrics and they run it like a quilt and they get so into it and the kids send them, dude, the quilts are amazing.

• 16:20Speaker 00

  Kids send them what?

• 16:21Speaker 01

  They send them pictures of like me with, and it's like, thank you so much.

• 16:24Speaker 00

  I don't know if I love that.

• 16:25Speaker 01

  And they cry, dude.

• 16:26Speaker 00

  Well, that's nice.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  It's beautiful, dude. It's beautiful. These guys are like, this is the only way I can give back to society for what I did. It's crazy. I cried during it.

• 16:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's very nice.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  It's really nice.

• 16:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, maybe I'll give that a shot.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  You should.

• 16:39Speaker 00

  I gotta tell you, I've been watching this Mussolini show. And

• 16:43Speaker 01

  A doc or like a?

• 16:44Speaker 00

  It's a scripted show.

• 16:46Speaker 01

  Who plays the moose?

• 16:47Speaker 00

  I don't know. It's

• 16:52Speaker 00

  Some Italian guy. It was made in Italy. But of course, Europe is also, you know, 10 years behind us when it comes to like on the nose shit.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  Right.

• 17:03Speaker 00

  Like culturally.

• 17:07Speaker 00

  The last episode, he's like, I'm gonna make Italy great again. And you're like, oh, so Trump's a fascist. Okay, you just buttfucked the whole show.

• 17:17Speaker 02

  Turn off.

• 17:19Speaker 00

  I'm out.

• 17:20Speaker 02

  Is it only like one season? Is this season two?

• 17:22Speaker 00

  I'm not sure. I think it comes out weekly.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  That.

• 17:26Speaker 00

  And I was kind of excited about, I mean, they make him a bumbling idiot, which

• 17:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:30Speaker 00

  I doubt he was based on what he got done. They do that a lot with, with history.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  Mussolini apparently was kind of a putz.

• 17:39Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 17:40Speaker 01

  That, I mean, that's like the, the.

• 17:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:42Speaker 00

  But you ever seen him give a speech?

• 17:44Speaker 01

  Oh, it's good.

• 17:45Speaker 00

  Swag.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:46Speaker 00

  Swag out the wazoo. People give Hitler a lot of credit for speeches? Check out the moose, dude.

• 17:54Speaker 00

  The pauses, the fucking arm crosses, the, oh.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  Is Mussolini the guy who plucked a chicken during a meeting or?

• 18:01Speaker 00

  I've never heard that one.

• 18:02Speaker 02

  Really? I can't remember who, but it was a story about somebody.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  He just got chicken on the brain.

• 18:09Speaker 00

  No.

• 18:15Speaker 00

  Second chicken talk. You got chicken on the brain.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  The, uh, not interracial.

• 18:27Speaker 00

  What is it? It is Mussolini plucking a chicken? Nice, little man.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  It's like on Metaphor, so it's a political cartoon.

• 18:38Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  Did you find anything for the? I can't find it. It's hard to. Bet I got AI'd. God damn dude. But they could also be.

• 18:48Speaker 03

  There's things he said a long time ago. It also might have been old. There was like one from 2015 where he kind of says what you said in a different way.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  Maybe that's what it was.

• 18:56Speaker 00

  I would imagine as a politician, go out of your way to avoid saying, I'm a lot like Adolf Hitler.

• 19:02Speaker 01

  You think?

• 19:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:03Speaker 01

  You'd think, I mean, that used to be a bad thing.

• 19:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, used to be rough. No, that thing about make Italy great again, that, that kind of stupid fucking winky thing, that ruined, uh, Skull Island for me, Kong Skull Island.

• 19:22Speaker 00

  What happened there?

• 19:23Speaker 01

  It takes place in the sixties and the first line, the taxi pulls up in front of like. I don't know, some fucking, the cap, some, some state building or something. And, um, and John Goodman goes, there's two dudes in the back of the car and John Goodman goes, "My boy, we are entering the strangest decade of politics this country will ever see." And it was like right when Trump got in, I was like, fuck off.

• 19:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:49Speaker 01

  Like, you know, like, it's just, it's, I, I hate shit like that.

• 19:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, letting your politics come into the King Kong movie I'm trying to watch?

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Dude, American King Kong, he, they ruined Godzilla for me. Cause they had the running Godzilla.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  Godzilla sucked.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  Oh my God, dude.

• 20:07Speaker 00

  Godzilla Zero was fucking sick.

• 20:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:10Speaker 00

  The Japanese one?

• 20:11Speaker 01

  Wait, that's, yeah, that's from overseas. Yeah, yeah. That's, that's classic Godzilla.

• 20:15Speaker 02

  I'm talking King Kong, Godzilla, Forbidden Kingdom, or whatever.

• 20:19Speaker 00

  If you went into that thinking that was gonna be good, the bag's on you.

• 20:24Speaker 00

  You're an adult man.

• 20:25Speaker 02

  The guy, uh, King Kong had a mecha arm, Godzilla was running, the whole world's in flames. It's crazy.

• 20:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, once they got into that too, that like-

• 20:34Speaker 00

  That was the last straw for you.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  That was literally the last straw.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  Godzilla doesn't run, dude.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  When they did the like world between worlds thing, where like King Kong lives in that weird other, I was like, this is idiotic. I met the kid a couple of times that directed every single one of those movies. He must be stacking coin right now, man. I mean, Jesus Christ, they make like 400 million dollars at least. At least.

• 21:00Speaker 00

  Chinese people must go nuts when they see those movies.

• 21:05Speaker 00

  They're five huge hits in China.

• 21:12Speaker 00

  Matt's gone, I'll be reading on behalf of Matt.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 21:16Speaker 00

  Matt. Okay, okay. A quick break from the show for a special segment called More or Less Football Edition. And it's brought to you by PrizePix. Right, so Shane and I are going to be presented with three player picks and decide together whether we should go more or less each pick. Shane, so who's looking sharp? And who's just like a pedestrian on the field?

• 21:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:40Speaker 00

  Matt, this is what we're thinking prize picks this week. Let's choose more or less each of the following picks. A.J. Brown, more or less than 55 receiving yards. I'm going more.

• 21:52Speaker 01

  More.

• 21:53Speaker 00

  He's been getting, he's not getting a lot of touches. He's starting to complain. They're gonna force the ball to him more than 55 yards receiving.

• 21:59Speaker 01

  I'll go less since you guys want more, just to mix it up.

• 22:02Speaker 00

  Cam Scataboo, more or less than .5 rushing touchdowns. You think he's gonna score or not?

• 22:07Speaker 01

  I love the name, I'm gonna say more.

• 22:09Speaker 00

  I like it too. He's got a bit of a Star Wars name there.

• 22:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:12Speaker 00

  Josh Allen, more or less 228 passing yards. You gotta go more, the guy's a gunslinger.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 22:18Speaker 02

  Shane, I'm gonna say I'd go less. Last week, I picked him and he went under.

• 22:23Speaker 00

  Hmm, how about that? Wow, alright. So that's our take, now it's time to lock in the doors. Prize picks, don't just stand your fave, stand on business, win real money with your best takes, whether it's touchdown passes, receptions, take your more or less pick on their stat projections to cash in this season. Uh, here, you read for Matt there, second paragraph up. Yeah, it's small, it's not that easy.

• 22:48Speaker 02

  Don't forget to follow other PrizePicks players directly on the app. You can even copy their lineups in one click. Whether it's a friend, a celebrity partner, or just someone whose picks you like, hit the follow button and check out every lineup they create in the new feed tab on PrizePicks.

• 23:05Speaker 00

  The bag's on me. That was a great read, man. PrizePicks, it's good to be right. Man, I'll tell you what I'm mad about, Bad Bunny's doing the fucking halftime show.

• 23:14Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 23:15Speaker 00

  Pissing me the fuck. Now, of course, of course, who gives a fuck? It was very funny to me that people were upset about that.

• 23:20Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm not upset about it.

• 23:21Speaker 00

  Every once in a while, the right, the right gets it so wrong with what they're outraged. Everybody's outraged about everything, obviously, but when it's like, dude, don't lose on this one.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  Why are they mad about Bad Bunny?

• 23:33Speaker 00

  I think it's because it's, because he doesn't speak any, speak English, I'm trying to watch football. And my point was, last year's halftime show was barely, uh, intelligible. Maybe that was for China, bing bop boom ping.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  You hate Kendrick.

• 23:52Speaker 00

  No, I don't hate Kendrick.

• 23:53Speaker 01

  Stop hating.

• 23:54Speaker 00

  We don't have to talk Kendrick.

• 23:55Speaker 02

  Didn't Shakira do the halftime show?

• 23:58Speaker 00

  What?

• 23:59Speaker 02

  Didn't Shakira do the halftime show before?

• 24:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:02Speaker 02

  What are they mad about?

• 24:03Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  Janet Jackson whipped her tits out on it.

• 24:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, that shit rocked.

• 24:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was great.

• 24:08Speaker 02

  Man, that was a pivotal moment in like, American history, like for TV and stuff.

• 24:13Speaker 01

  That was considered, like, now it'd be nothing.

• 24:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:16Speaker 00

  Cause once she had a sticky over her nipple.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  She had like a, she had like a, it was, I think it was pierced and she had this big thing like, almost like a vote for me pin, covering her whole nipple, you know what I mean? But yeah, it wasn't that crazy.

• 24:31Speaker 00

  It wasn't that crazy. Also, why'd they pretend it was like, uh, when they were like, it was a wardrobe malfunction?

• 24:37Speaker 01

  I remember when they tried to lie.

• 24:39Speaker 00

  It was like a pose. He like ripped it off and they both went.

• 24:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's wild the way they would just lie about shit. It's, you know, and, and just, let's see if they buy it. The wardrobe malfunction.

• 24:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, they bought it.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're gonna buy it.

• 24:51Speaker 01

  That, she got like, she was like in trouble for a long time.

• 24:54Speaker 00

  I remember that.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  Was that the first live TV titty drop?

• 25:00Speaker 00

  I feel like, but that was a, uh, what's that called? A thing on the nipple?

• 25:04Speaker 02

  The pasty.

• 25:05Speaker 00

  A pasty. I mean, I remember Sable used to break those out.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  Sable would break out the pasties all the time, dude.

• 25:11Speaker 00

  Yeah. WWF had some nips.

• 25:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, they had nips. The Cat, Terry Reynolds, don't get me started. Jacqueline, don't get me started.

• 25:19Speaker 00

  I'm gonna get you, so you're gonna, you're gonna jack off in there.

• 25:24Speaker 02

  True Stratus never had pasties.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  That was the first ever, I think, I think for, right?

• 25:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, live TV titty drop, that had to be the first one.

• 25:31Speaker 00

  That was a pretty big one. I remember me and my friends went nuts. In my basement, everyone just went, ah! We were standing on the couch, we were fired up.

• 25:40Speaker 01

  That's when Timberlake was the ma, like, he was, like, he's still awesome, but that, he was like untouchable.

• 25:47Speaker 00

  You remind me of Timberlake.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  Why is that?

• 25:48Speaker 00

  Just like a smooth operator slick.

• 25:52Speaker 01

  You about to say something mean?

• 25:53Speaker 00

  No, that's it.

• 25:54Speaker 01

  You, yeah?

• 25:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:55Speaker 01

  Genuine compliment.

• 25:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, you remind me of Justin Timberlake. You're both smooth operators and you're slick.

• 26:02Speaker 00

  And I feel like you could beatbox.

• 26:04Speaker 01

  Uh, I can't beatbox.

• 26:05Speaker 00

  Oh, you thought about it.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  But I was an all right rapper.

• 26:07Speaker 00

  You're a good rapper?

• 26:08Speaker 01

  I was a decent rapper at one point. You know, I haven't done it in a long time. Sometimes I still write little rhymes in my head. I'm like, I wish I was a rapper.

• 26:15Speaker 00

  Give me, give me some bars.

• 26:19Speaker 00

  I can't remember anything right now.

• 26:21Speaker 01

  No, and I honestly am gonna try to remember something.

• 26:24Speaker 00

  Okay, please. Yeah, but. Cause that would be big for me. I think everyone would happy, would be very happy to hear you spit some bars.

• 26:32Speaker 02

  Joe had a band.

• 26:33Speaker 00

  I know, it still does.

• 26:35Speaker 02

  You still have a band? The hell?

• 26:37Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, no, yeah, still have a band. Yeah, it's also wonderful. Yeah, our new record comes out in a couple of months.

• 26:42Speaker 02

  Oh, sick.

• 26:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, it's done. Yeah, yeah. And then we're gonna, we're gonna run and do shows and stuff. That's fun, man. I love doing that. But yeah, the rapping, not so much anymore.

• 26:53Speaker 00

  It's a young man's game.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  It's a young man's game.

• 26:56Speaker 00

  Black man's game.

• 26:57Speaker 01

  It's, it's, it's a different level of commitment. Yeah. Rapping is like being a comic. It's like you have to be a rapper. You know what I mean? Like you have to, it's, it's an everyday thing. It's not, you know, not to say that being in a band isn't, but it's a little more, it's a little more lax for whatever reason, but, but there's something about rapping. Cause it's a solo, it's a solo act. It's, that's why I said it's like being a comic. It's like constantly.

• 27:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's a solo.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  What do you got in the battle? You know what I mean?

• 27:25Speaker 00

  Have you ever rap battled?

• 27:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I used to do it all the time.

• 27:27Speaker 00

  That must've been so gay. Where's that? Where can I get that footage? Holy shit.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  We used to freestyle, we used to do freestyle battles when I was in college at parties and shit. People like.

• 27:39Speaker 00

  Don't you have any regrets?

• 27:41Speaker 01

  No.

• 27:42Speaker 00

  I would regret that so much.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  Why?

• 27:44Speaker 00

  I was pretty good at it.

• 27:46Speaker 01

  I was pretty good at it. No, people liked it. Like the party we get, I got chicks from doing it and stuff. It was, you know.

• 27:52Speaker 00

  They saw that Timberlake.

• 27:53Speaker 01

  They saw that Timberlake.

• 27:54Speaker 00

  You smooth operator.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  You have this Timberlake. Timberlake the Moose.

• 27:59Speaker 00

  The Moose. You gotta see the Moose.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  Timberlake the Moose.

• 28:02Speaker 00

  That's a good rap name. That's actually a great nickname.

• 28:06Speaker 02

  Timberlake the Moose.

• 28:08Speaker 01

  The, uh, should we talk about our new nicknames?

• 28:11Speaker 00

  I mean, you can try.

• 28:15Speaker 00

  There it is.

• 28:17Speaker 00

  Tried to bait me with my, cuz Joe, alright, first off, you're calling me the hut.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, but explain why.

• 28:26Speaker 01

  But dude.

• 28:26Speaker 00

  The what?

• 28:27Speaker 01

  But dude.

• 28:28Speaker 00

  It's literally laid up like hut.

• 28:30Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't, hold on dude.

• 28:33Speaker 00

  That's a hut.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  I don't do his bidding. Do your bidding.

• 28:37Speaker 00

  I said Joe, I said Joe looked exactly like Salacious Crumb from Star Wars. And if you look at Salacious Crumb, especially Salacious Crumb with his legs crossed sitting. And that lad.

• 28:53Speaker 00

  Joe Salacious Crumb.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  And I said, yeah. And I said Shane's Jabba the Hutt.

• 29:01Speaker 00

  And then he went low and called me Jabba.

• 29:03Speaker 01

  It's not, it's not a body joke. I'm just saying you're the hut dude.

• 29:10Speaker 01

  Look at Crumb in the hut. Tell me it's not me and Shane hanging out at a bar.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  I'll happily sit at this man's legs and drink.

• 29:23Speaker 00

  As the Crumb dude.

• 29:26Speaker 00

  Just is DeRosa.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  It's like, dude, you know what?

• 29:33Speaker 00

  Salacious Crumb, underworld creature.

• 29:39Speaker 00

  Salacious Crumb.

• 29:43Speaker 00

  I didn't know he had a name either. I was just like, dude, you look like fucking Jabba's friend. And he was like, he knows Star Wars. He was like, oh, Salacious Crumb.

• 29:51Speaker 01

  As soon as you said it, I was.

• 29:55Speaker 00

  You gotta get that.

• 29:56Speaker 01

  That's us kicking it dude.

• 29:58Speaker 00

  Alright, I'll give you that. I'll give you that. That's a good one.

• 30:01Speaker 01

  Dude, you love just sitting up there.

• 30:03Speaker 00

  I'll take hut.

• 30:04Speaker 01

  Playing with everybody's emotions in the room.

• 30:06Speaker 00

  Tony is obviously C3BO. It's not even close.

• 30:12Speaker 01

  Tony might be laying, dude.

• 30:14Speaker 00

  Beesers bib fortuna.

• 30:16Speaker 01

  Tony might be laying the bikini, dude.

• 30:18Speaker 00

  Beesers bib fortuna.

• 30:21Speaker 01

  A hundred percent Beesers bib fortuna. A hundred thousand percent.

• 30:25Speaker 00

  Who's the Boba? Which one's that?

• 30:28Speaker 02

  He's the, uh, he's the one who gave Anakin his.

• 30:30Speaker 01

  It's gotta be all Jabba's palace, though.

• 30:32Speaker 02

  Oh, okay, okay, okay.

• 30:33Speaker 01

  Everybody else, from there out, everybody else is too cool.

• 30:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's tough not to, you can't give someone a cool one.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, nobody gets to be like Boba Fett.

• 30:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:41Speaker 01

  It's too cool.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, who's the rancor? Is that in Jabba's?

• 30:45Speaker 01

  You know, La Merish?

• 30:47Speaker 00

  The Warthog? The Warthog Guard?

• 30:50Speaker 01

  No, no, La Merish is the.

• 30:51Speaker 00

  The pig guard.

• 30:52Speaker 01

  No, La Merish is the blue dude that plays the keyboards.

• 30:55Speaker 00

  That's a cool one, though.

• 30:56Speaker 01

  No, it's not.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  Look up the blue.

• 31:02Speaker 00

  Uh, I think.

• 31:09Speaker 01

  That's a.

• 31:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's fucking La Merish.

• 31:13Speaker 02

  That's cool.

• 31:13Speaker 00

  But look at the, can you do me a kindness and look up the, uh?

• 31:16Speaker 01

  The pig guard?

• 31:17Speaker 00

  The pig guard at Jabba's Palace? It's got a bit of, bit of a me's in there, but that, that guard's a little pushy. I don't think La Merish is very pushy.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  No, that's what I'm saying. He's the keyboard player.

• 31:26Speaker 00

  Keyboard player is very close, but the pig guard?

• 31:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:29Speaker 00

  Let me take a look at that guard.

• 31:30Speaker 02

  Cantina Band plays good music.

• 31:32Speaker 00

  That's, does have me'sy written all over it.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  Who is it?

• 31:38Speaker 02

  I mean, I, I.

• 31:40Speaker 00

  I, I like the keyboard.

• 31:40Speaker 02

  I'll tell you what the pig guard is. I think, I think that's O'Connor.

• 31:45Speaker 00

  The O'Connor?

• 31:46Speaker 01

  The O'Connor where they want to shove a dude against the wall?

• 31:49Speaker 00

  You know who Tommy is? I know it's, it's on Tatooine, though. It's, uh,

• 31:54Speaker 00

  fucking what's his name? Uh, the guy's like, I don't like you. That's Tommy, dude. Just get his arm cut off right away.

• 32:01Speaker 01

  That's O'Connor Pope.

• 32:02Speaker 00

  That's O'Connor Pope.

• 32:05Speaker 00

  These two drunk assholes. You're like, fuck you, dude.

• 32:11Speaker 02

  Did you say I don't like you? My friend doesn't like you either.

• 32:15Speaker 01

  I got the death toll on thirty-eight systems. Yeah.

• 32:19Speaker 00

  Nate's a tough one.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  Swing and lando.

• 32:24Speaker 00

  It's Jawa?

• 32:26Speaker 01

  Nate might be a fucking Jawa.

• 32:29Speaker 00

  Oh, no, he's an Ewok, bro.

• 32:31Speaker 01

  No, it's gotta be Tatooine. We gotta keep it near Jabba's palace. Jawa. All right, Tony's.

• 32:37Speaker 00

  What are you looking at, Jawas?

• 32:40Speaker 00

  Nate kinda looks like an Ewok a little.

• 32:45Speaker 01

  All right, fuck it, yeah.

• 32:46Speaker 02

  That's me, my bad, my bad.

• 32:47Speaker 01

  No, Nate's Warwick the Ewok. Or Wicked, I mean. Wicked the Ewok. Yeah, fuck it, dude. We'll fly you to Jabba's palace.

• 33:00Speaker 01

  Who's, uh, all right, Tony's three PO.

• 33:03Speaker 00

  Definitely.

• 33:04Speaker 01

  Who's Leia then?

• 33:07Speaker 00

  Can't give a hot babe.

• 33:09Speaker 01

  No.

• 33:10Speaker 00

  Unless you give it to a dude.

• 33:11Speaker 01

  No, dude, Leia's fucking, uh, Leia's, uh, uh, Kyla. Is a bad-mouthed chick. Chick with a bad attitude.

• 33:21Speaker 00

  I hear you. You excited for Red October?

• 33:24Speaker 01

  What's Red October? Is it a video game?

• 33:26Speaker 02

  Let's go.

• 33:26Speaker 00

  No, Phil's, dude.

• 33:28Speaker 02

  Fighting Phil's.

• 33:28Speaker 00

  Fighting Phil's.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  Well, fill me in, you know, I don't watch sports.

• 33:31Speaker 00

  We gotta buy, which could be a problem. The playoffs start.

• 33:34Speaker 01

  Oh, they're going to playoffs?

• 33:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:36Speaker 01

  I'll go to those games.

• 33:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go Monday.

• 33:41Speaker 01

  Jesus, it's October. I'm like, I'm like thinking this is like months away.

• 33:44Speaker 00

  No, it's September. You almost have it. It is October next week.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  No, it's October tomorrow.

• 33:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, I guess tomorrow.

• 33:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:52Speaker 00

  Jesus Christ.

• 33:55Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 33:56Speaker 00

  This is a crazy podcast. We're just, this is a regular conversation.

• 34:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. Do you, do you wanna, do you wanna get onto a specific topic?

• 34:04Speaker 00

  No, I don't give a fuck at all. I feel like this is good. I like Star Wars.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  I've been watching Everybody Loves Raymond. That show's good, dude. Dude, I started watching it recently, too. Airtight. Airtight, man. Every episode, I'm like, that was a beat.

• 34:21Speaker 00

  How cool is Ray Romano?

• 34:22Speaker 01

  He's awesome.

• 34:23Speaker 00

  He's like the coolest.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:25Speaker 00

  Whenever he comes to the cellar, it's like, god damn.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:28Speaker 00

  He's just a fucking cool.

• 34:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:31Speaker 00

  He's sitting there, he's watching sports, he's like, who you got on this? You got the over, the under? I'm like.

• 34:35Speaker 01

  That's awesome. That's awesome. I don't know, dude, they got better looking in his like sixties.

• 34:42Speaker 00

  I never thought of that.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's like.

• 34:44Speaker 00

  I didn't sexualize him when I saw him.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  He's a, I sexualize everybody.

• 34:47Speaker 00

  That's fair. That's why you're JT, dude. That's why you got that Timberlake.

• 34:52Speaker 01

  Sorry, I'm the moose.

• 34:55Speaker 00

  Timberlake the moose, dude. You're salacious chrome. The chrome laugh.

• 35:00Speaker 01

  I'm the fucking vile horrendous chrome, dude.

• 35:02Speaker 00

  Vile horrendous salacious chrome.

• 35:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, but that's, nobody has the juice, like, United States of America.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  No, no, it's, it's.

• 35:11Speaker 00

  Salacious chrome, obviously that's good juice.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  Right.

• 35:14Speaker 00

  Vile horrendous, great juice.

• 35:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:16Speaker 00

  No one's just like, I'm gonna write this down and send it to the paper and name the country.

• 35:23Speaker 01

  I mean, it's, it is, it is fucking wild. I wanna find out, I'd like to find out who this republicist guy is.

• 35:29Speaker 00

  I think it is Thomas Paine, but it's just pure speculation, cuz it was just a humble man, dude. That's why he's republicist. He's going, I don't need any glory for this. This is for the fucking republic.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. But wait, how do you get in the paper?

• 35:40Speaker 00

  Oh, cuz it's Thomas Paine.

• 35:46Speaker 01

  What other things from the doc can you reveal?

• 35:49Speaker 00

  Uh, it's, it's just standard, uh, it's nothing too, it gets into Benedict Arnold, which is exciting. Cuz he was kinda the man.

• 35:58Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 35:59Speaker 00

  Until he wasn't.

• 36:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 36:00Speaker 00

  But he was, he was like a little climber, though. He was good at his job, but he was a climber.

• 36:04Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 36:05Speaker 00

  So he get, anytime he got passed over, he would start bitching and. Yeah.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 36:10Speaker 00

  But it was stuff I kinda knew already, like he was, he was the hero at Ticonderoga.

• 36:14Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 36:15Speaker 00

  So he, people don't know, like.

• 36:17Speaker 01

  The pencil?

• 36:18Speaker 00

  Yes. Uh, he, uh, he was like a war hero. He was like a big deal before he swi- before he switched sides.

• 36:28Speaker 01

  What was his official turncoat moment?

• 36:30Speaker 00

  Uh, I'm not sure. I think he sold or, or gave British intel on how to get past West Point. The fort. I think he gave the fort up. I could be wrong.

• 36:43Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 36:44Speaker 00

  I haven't got that far, but I remember in, uh, I read the book Lafayette, who was the man too. He was like, that was kinda the only time he ever saw George Washington like break down. Cause Washington like liked this guy.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 36:56Speaker 00

  And when he got, he got to West Point and they were like, Arnold's gone. He was just like, oh, he started like sobbing. He was like, no, my boy. Something like that. That's the story I took from it.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  Did you ever eat at that restaurant in New York where, uh, Washington took his men before the Battle of Valley Forge?

• 37:15Speaker 00

  No.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  It's in Fidai. You know that, you know that area of Fidai where it's like the cobblestone street and there's all the bars? It's right down there. It's Steakhouse. Yeah. Yeah. And he took his, isn't that, it's so wild. Like it, yeah, they were like, they were treating it like they were like about to shoot a movie or something. Like it was this big dinner. They all get fucking cocked up and then they're like, all right, we gotta go fight tomorrow.

• 37:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's awesome.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  It's, it was like, yeah, this weird.

• 37:38Speaker 00

  Well, they were drinking. They were drinking back then.

• 37:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:41Speaker 00

  He made sure his boys all got whiskey and rum.

• 37:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's wild.

• 37:44Speaker 00

  Rum and then everybody got a cup of their, their rations where you got a cup of whiskey every day, every soldier.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 37:51Speaker 00

  And then he was like, if the rations were low, we'll, or rum at first, and then we'll switch to whiskey if we run out of rum. So the boys were a little, they were loose, dude. It was for freedom.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:00Speaker 00

  And a couple of brewskis before you go shoot some redcoats.

• 38:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, you have to be.

• 38:05Speaker 00

  Also, you know, you know what fired me up? There's a part where, so obviously the, the revolution starts in Massachusetts and then they're trying to rally the rest of the colonies to be like, help us out. And then so like Virginia, that's why they get Washington, cause he was the, he was a Virginian. So they wanna bring the whole, all the colonies in. But then when Pennsylvania and like South Carolina and North Carolina start joining in. And then it's just such a. Like it was, it was a true melting pot. You know what I mean? But it's talking about how like just frontiersmen from Pennsylvania started rolling in and hanging out with all these New England pussies.

• 38:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 38:37Speaker 00

  It's like, damn, that's pretty sick.

• 38:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:38Speaker 00

  And they were like, these guys are a problem.

• 38:42Speaker 00

  They were like, uh, like the British were like, oh, fuck. They got the retarded guys.

• 38:46Speaker 01

  PA was always a problem?

• 38:47Speaker 00

  PA was a problem. Could PA, anybody that was like out, Appalachia was where the country stopped.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 38:53Speaker 00

  Like past that was like native land and there were people out there fighting. So these guys had been fighting for 40 years.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  See, this is the shit I wish, I wish.

• 39:01Speaker 00

  And they're just animals.

• 39:02Speaker 01

  I could retain, I, I, I, this is, it's impressive to me that you have this.

• 39:05Speaker 00

  And they're trappers and shit.

• 39:06Speaker 01

  Working knowledge.

• 39:07Speaker 00

  And like survivalists, so they knew how to live on the land, like with no food and shit.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  Right.

• 39:11Speaker 00

  So all of a sudden you got all these like freaks coming out of the woods. And you're just some fucking queer from fucking London.

• 39:18Speaker 01

  I have a real, I, this is a serious question. From watching all that stuff and whatever, do you feel like you have like some working knowledge of survival skills?

• 39:27Speaker 00

  Oh, my God, no.

• 39:28Speaker 01

  If you got trapped in the woods?

• 39:29Speaker 00

  I can't, I, I, I struggle with scrambled eggs.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  I'll tell you, you gotta get a coffee maker.

• 39:35Speaker 00

  Somebody was like, if somebody was like, make me pancakes, I'd be like, whoo.

• 39:41Speaker 00

  You could get me instant pancake mix and everything that I need. And I'd be like, oh, this is gonna be tough.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:46Speaker 00

  I have no survival skills.

• 39:48Speaker 01

  Pancakes are tough. I could teach you how.

• 39:50Speaker 00

  Pancakes are tough.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  But they're tough. You know the trick to flipping a pancake?

• 39:53Speaker 00

  What is it?

• 39:54Speaker 01

  Uh, when the top part is all bubbled, when you see like all the little holes in it, that's when you know it's ready to flip.

• 40:02Speaker 00

  I'll keep that in mind.

• 40:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, but pancakes are tough.

• 40:04Speaker 00

  You know what else I like? I like a little, uh, I like a little raw pancake.

• 40:07Speaker 01

  Dude, a little cakey pancake?

• 40:08Speaker 00

  I don't mind a little batter in there.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  That's gross.

• 40:10Speaker 00

  I know it's gross. I'm not afraid to admit that.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  That's really gross.

• 40:13Speaker 00

  Shut the fuck up, Joe.

• 40:14Speaker 01

  That's good shit.

• 40:15Speaker 00

  Thanks, man.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  I think you get salmonella like that.

• 40:18Speaker 00

  I don't give a fuck about salmonella.

• 40:20Speaker 01

  From flour?

• 40:20Speaker 00

  I'll never get salmonella.

• 40:25Speaker 01

  The 22 bubblies will kill it.

• 40:27Speaker 00

  I will never get salmonella.

• 40:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. Drowned in 22 years.

• 40:30Speaker 00

  Dude, I'm on Revolutionary War fucking diet, dude. Glass of whiskey, eat a couple fucking lemons.

• 40:36Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 40:38Speaker 00

  Whatever I can get my hands on, dude.

• 40:39Speaker 01

  I was talking to McCann, James McCann, about the road and just hating the road.

• 40:45Speaker 00

  Hey, it was funny. He, I talked to him about it.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:48Speaker 00

  He said, I don't know how you've been doing.

• 40:49Speaker 01

  Like this.

• 40:50Speaker 00

  I was like.

• 40:51Speaker 01

  He goes, he goes, you take Shane, he, he's got his routine. He gets up, he has his 20 beers. He does the show.

• 41:01Speaker 00

  That's how you do it, dude.

• 41:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:05Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  Starbleezies. Look at this fucking thing that La Mer got.

• 41:10Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  Thanks, Gardines.

• 41:12Speaker 02

  It's gonna be good, dude. You could take it. I mean, if you want, it's wicked.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  Nice immunity defense drink. Don't hurt, don't hurt.

• 41:21Speaker 02

  Fixing the guts.

• 41:22Speaker 01

  Look at this abomination.

• 41:24Speaker 02

  This is good.

• 41:25Speaker 01

  Look at that, dude.

• 41:26Speaker 02

  It is good. This is good stuff.

• 41:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, he doesn't drink coffee. He drinks, you give him lemonade and sugar.

• 41:31Speaker 00

  I have one of those every morning.

• 41:32Speaker 01

  What?

• 41:33Speaker 00

  And then he runs around, and then he runs around.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  It's coconut milk? It's strawberry milk?

• 41:36Speaker 00

  He gets the zoomies after that.

• 41:38Speaker 02

  Strawberry coconut milk.

• 41:39Speaker 00

  I have to yell at him to get off the couch. You're not supposed to be up there, but that's all right.

• 41:46Speaker 02

  Dude, I met Sarah Palin.

• 41:47Speaker 00

  You can lay on the couch.

• 41:49Speaker 02

  Dude, I met Sarah Palin and she was fucking cool.

• 41:51Speaker 01

  I'm sure.

• 41:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, she was cool as hell.

• 41:53Speaker 01

  She's still hot?

• 41:54Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. She's just older now, you know?

• 41:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like that shit.

• 41:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:00Speaker 02

  I would respectfully, you know?

• 42:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:04Speaker 02

  Very much respectfully.

• 42:05Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, she was banging, dude.

• 42:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:09Speaker 01

  Oof. Those McCain years?

• 42:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:12Speaker 00

  She was so hot.

• 42:13Speaker 01

  Banging, dude, yeah.

• 42:14Speaker 00

  She kind of blew it, right?

• 42:16Speaker 01

  Uh, by talking? She fucking up real bad.

• 42:19Speaker 00

  I think she kind of blew it a little. Crazy, the Republicans were like, we need a female vice president.

• 42:25Speaker 01

  Dude, by the end of that, by the end of that election McCain was like, like he was just, like, you could, you could see.

• 42:33Speaker 00

  He was that fucking JT Realmuto when that, you ever see that when that fat pitcher runs out of the bullpen? It's fucking incredible. And then the catcher for Philly sees, so this big, he's not that fat. He's like a chubby guy. Comes sprinting out of the bullpen and then the camera cuss the catcher who's standing there and he just goes.

• 42:53Speaker 00

  The guy's gassed. He's out of breath at the mound. He can't, he can't catch his breath. Gives up a homer and they fucking get him off the field.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  Dude, what's the clip where the guys are in the, where the guys are in the pen? And they're yelling at the umpire's call? And the coach just going, "He's a cunt."

• 43:14Speaker 00

  I never saw it.

• 43:15Speaker 01

  He's a cunt. He's doing the symbol.

• 43:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:17Speaker 01

  He's a cunt. He's screaming it, dude. It's from like the eighties, early nineties. I'm like, something like a TV camera caught that.

• 43:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:26Speaker 01

  Like, people didn't have iPhones. There was some camera guy recording it. It was so, dude, baseball.

• 43:32Speaker 00

  When they spaz, it's the best.

• 43:34Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 43:34Speaker 00

  Who is it? Is it Tommy Lasorda with the?

• 43:36Speaker 01

  Best one ever.

• 43:37Speaker 00

  Where he's like, "My ass is in the jackpot if I don't get you out of here, Tommy." "Tommy, you know my ass is in the jackpot right now."

• 43:45Speaker 01

  Wait, I thought you were gonna talk about the radio interview. The Bakalva one. Uh, where they're like, "They said you might..." It's Lasorda. It's after a game, dude. It's on AM radio. So it's going out live. They're interviewing him after a game. Clearly, they must have lost. He's in a mood. And they go, "We heard you were gonna trade so-and-so for Bobby Bakalva or something." He goes, "Let me tell you something about that cocksucker." "Bobby Bakalva couldn't hit fucking water if he fell out of a fucking boat." "You know, I'm gonna bring him on my fucking team. He's gonna be out of your fucking mind." Like, dude, it's, he just loses it, dude. Lose.

• 44:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, baseball spazes are nuts, dude.

• 44:22Speaker 01

  They're the best.

• 44:22Speaker 00

  They lose their mind more than football.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  The best spazes are baseball and then Bobby Knight basketball spazes.

• 44:29Speaker 00

  Bobby Knight basketball. Dossing a chair across the court.

• 44:33Speaker 00

  Choking a player. White guy. It's basically white boy spazes. True white boy rage spaz.

• 44:39Speaker 01

  Did you ever see the Jim Belushi? When he was on SNL, when he was a cast member?

• 44:46Speaker 01

  It's from the eighties, when he's doing the chess coach, but he's doing it like Bobby Knight, high school chess coach.

• 44:50Speaker 00

  That's great.

• 44:51Speaker 01

  And he's kicking the chairs. He's like, "Come on! You call that a rook to ball?"

• 44:57Speaker 00

  That's awesome.

• 44:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's really funny.

• 45:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, Bobby was good. I think he choked a player at a practice.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  Bitch.

• 45:03Speaker 00

  Which was great.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  You can't choke players anymore, dude.

• 45:06Speaker 00

  I didn't, you couldn't even choke players back then. They were, they were really upset about it.

• 45:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, the Bobby Knight's things, the, the, the things where he's in the press con, because he hates reporters so much. There's one where a lady asks him a question, he goes, well, let me tell you something. And I love speaking to a person whose job is one step below prostitution.

• 45:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's nice.

• 45:30Speaker 01

  It's fire at these people.

• 45:32Speaker 00

  That's nice.

• 45:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's the best.

• 45:35Speaker 00

  I think, yeah, baseball has number one spas.

• 45:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, why is that? Because it's such a soothing game and it's like, they're out on the mound.

• 45:44Speaker 00

  Out of nowhere, a guy's fucking kicking dirt at somebody. Tommy, my ass is in a jackpot. You know I gotta fucking do this. They're chest to chest every time they yell.

• 45:53Speaker 01

  Umpire mask grab is always great.

• 45:55Speaker 00

  Fucking insane, dude.

• 45:58Speaker 01

  It's fucking, it's crazy.

• 46:02Speaker 00

  I guess you're out there for fucking 180 games. You're, you've been gone from home for fucking six months. It's August.

• 46:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:10Speaker 00

  You're doing a double header in Cincinnati.

• 46:13Speaker 01

  Yeah. You're sweating your ass off.

• 46:15Speaker 00

  Some ump's just fucking you.

• 46:18Speaker 01

  I gotta be honest, I don't know that I've ever seen a football spaz.

• 46:22Speaker 00

  There's been some good ones.

• 46:23Speaker 01

  They've happened, I'm sure, but.

• 46:24Speaker 00

  No, there's been some good ones. There's, you get a good spaz when the, when the reporter interviews the coach right before halftime. You know, you know how they do that?

• 46:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:33Speaker 00

  Like when the team's head of the locker room, they're like, what, what difference, what changes do you have to make on offense to get this thing going? The guy's just like, the players are out there trying their fucking hardest and the coaches are fucking it up. It just keeps rotting. You're like, oh shit.

• 46:49Speaker 00

  This is an ad by BetterHelp.

• 46:51Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 46:52Speaker 00

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• 46:54Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 46:54Speaker 00

  October isn't just for sweet treats and scares. I like, this is good writing. It's also a good time to appreciate therapists who have helped you and a loved one. Because if you don't know already, October 10th is World Mental Health Day.

• 47:06Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 47:06Speaker 00

  Did you know that?

• 47:07Speaker 01

  I did not.

• 47:08Speaker 00

  All right. If you feel comfortable, give a huge thanks to a current or past therapist. How did they help you? Maybe set you in a new direction, taught you how to celebrate small wins, or provide a safe space for you to cry and unload. I've found a couple of safe spaces to unload. One time I thought I had a safe space to unload. I was on this couch and somebody walked right in.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  Who?

• 47:29Speaker 00

  My girlfriend. I had to skedaddle because I was trying to unload on the couch. I wanted to know.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  She could have hopped in.

• 47:36Speaker 00

  Well, I was crying also. I was crying and unloading.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:39Speaker 00

  Sometimes a good person will help you cry and unload.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  I'd like to point out that for me, every day is mental health day.

• 47:46Speaker 00

  That's good.

• 47:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, thank you.

• 47:48Speaker 00

  Well, Mayor, can you give us a time that somebody taught you how to celebrate small wins and provide a safe space for you to cry and unload?

• 47:55Speaker 02

  I, dude, I know.

• 48:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, you were about to. You can share. This is for BetterHelp.

• 48:04Speaker 02

  BetterHelp.

• 48:04Speaker 00

  With the better.

• 48:05Speaker 02

  Well, uh, uh, the dead girlfriend, she told me that like every time you see somebody you don't know who's like nice, you gotta go, you gotta mention it. That's it.

• 48:16Speaker 00

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• 48:32Speaker 01

  I've used it over the years. It's a good service.

• 48:34Speaker 00

  That's good. It's helped you a lot. The world, I know, I know. This World Mental Health Day, we're celebrating the therapists who've helped millions of people like Joe to take a step forward. If you're already, if you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash MSSP. That's betterhelp.com slash MSSP.

• 49:00Speaker 01

  Hey, folks. Thanks for having.

• 49:05Speaker 00

  You got it.

• 49:06Speaker 01

  Listen, buddy.

• 49:07Speaker 00

  That's good.

• 49:07Speaker 01

  Thanks for having me on the show.

• 49:09Speaker 00

  No, thanks for doing it, man. I know it was short notice and that's a tough seat to fill.

• 49:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know. McCusker's a good man.

• 49:16Speaker 00

  One of the best.

• 49:17Speaker 01

  Funny man. One of the best. But thank you for having me. I, I got the San Francisco Punch Line all weekend. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday. Come on out. Let's have some fun. And my special, I Never Promised You a Rose Garden, is on my YouTube, which is at Joe De Rosa Comedy. Please go check that out if you haven't yet and smash that subscribe button.

• 49:40Speaker 00

  Don't subscribe. Also, I.

• 49:43Speaker 00

  That, uh, you remember we met at a punchline? Well, no, we didn't meet there. I opened for you at the Philadelphia Punchline. And a guy spit on you in the front row. Anyway, what were you doing?

• 49:52Speaker 01

  We talked about it when I was, when I think last time.

• 49:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think so, yeah.

• 49:56Speaker 02

  Hello, everybody. It's me, La Mer. I'm going to knock this on October 7th. And then I'm going to be in Knoxville, Tennessee, October 16th. And then also Des Moines, Iowa, October 23rd and 24th. Please come hang out.

• 50:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's good stuff.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. You know what? Also, sorry, one, one other plug, uh, cause this is hometown. Phoenixville, Pennsylvania. I'm headlining the Colonial Theater on Bridge Street, uh, December 20th for, uh, Home for the Holidays, it's called.

• 50:21Speaker 00

  Hey.

• 50:21Speaker 01

  Big Christmas show.

• 50:22Speaker 00

  Go to Shane M Gillis dot com. I'm gonna do Baltimore, Vegas, San Francisco, Sacramento, Tucson, Phoenix, Boise, Portland, and then Madison Square Garden. Fuck you, Nate. Let's get back to the show.

• 50:37Speaker 01

  Oh, man. That's awesome. I, I don't watch sports at all, but I, I, I will frequently look up sports spaz, sports meltdown, like there, it, nothing like a good, oh wait, we talked about this last time. Nothing like a good meltdown on camera.

• 50:51Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 50:51Speaker 01

  It's, we talked about comedy ones last time.

• 50:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:55Speaker 02

  You ever watch like Super Smash Brothers, like professional players' meltdowns?

• 50:58Speaker 00

  I mean, gamer meltdowns must be number one.

• 51:00Speaker 02

  Dude, it's crazy.

• 51:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:01Speaker 02

  They go nuts. Like one guy, uh, no, that was a fake.

• 51:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, those are shooters, bro.

• 51:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:06Speaker 00

  Those are, yeah, they're a couple of pills away from pulling a trigger on someone.

• 51:10Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 51:12Speaker 01

  Like, I need this. Yeah, 12 year old kid smashing his keyboard.

• 51:16Speaker 00

  Solder hit the fucking meltdown on you, dude.

• 51:19Speaker 01

  That's how we started talking about this last time.

• 51:21Speaker 00

  Literally my favorite spaz.

• 51:23Speaker 01

  You, you, you, you pulled out. I started trying to tell you.

• 51:26Speaker 00

  I know, I don't like bringing it up. I don't like bringing it up, cause Danny, uh, I mean, I bring it up constantly, but.

• 51:30Speaker 01

  Danny, we love you, but yeah.

• 51:31Speaker 00

  Dan's the best.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  I got Dan so mad when we were, they were playing NC.

• 51:35Speaker 00

  You didn't understand, you didn't understand the context.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  I know.

• 51:38Speaker 00

  We just got the game. Me, it's me and him. It's our favorite thing. Like, I used to go to his house and we played together. We had a dynasty. I ran offense, he ran defense. We, it was, it was a glorious time. Uh, and then the game reboots and we get it back for the first time in 10 years. So he comes to Philly to play it with me. And I beat him.

• 51:56Speaker 01

  And you guys did like a gig? Like, it was like?

• 51:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was for EA Sports. We streamed it. And it was like, uh, I beat him the first couple, I was just killing him. And then the one game he was winning, the salacious.

• 52:10Speaker 00

  My minion comes in and starts doing my bidding. Just sat on the couch next to me. It was like, yeah, Dan. I was like, yeah, of course. Your guys can fucking, you guys are holding on to every block. My guys can't block for shit. And you were like, yeah, it does seem like the guys on Dan's team are better at blocking. He was just like, shut the fuck up. And then he blew a 14 or 17 point lead and missed an extra point and lost.

• 52:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:36Speaker 00

  Just spazzed.

• 52:37Speaker 01

  And I said something. He went like this. He went, DeRosa.

• 52:41Speaker 00

  I was like, yo, dude. Bro, he's a number one video game spaz. Punches the table, spazzes through shit.

• 52:53Speaker 01

  Dude, I remember we were watching the Niners and the Eagles play.

• 52:56Speaker 00

  Oh, this is so good.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  At Jay's house. No, this isn't the, this, it's not the other one. It's not the one where he texts me and said, if I was in the room with you right now, I'd punch you in the face. Cause it was the Niners.

• 53:09Speaker 00

  Dude, you don't understand sports, dude. The Niners are losing in the NFC Championship to the Eagles and this cocksucker's in the group text like, yeah, the Niners look like shit.

• 53:20Speaker 01

  It was when the Niners start the fight on the field. And I go, I go, I remember when this was a game, a bunch of bums out on this field today. It was like, if I was in the room with you, I'd punch you in the face. You're a little girl.

• 53:35Speaker 00

  Couldn't agree more with Dan. If Notre Dame was losing a game and one of my friends that doesn't watch sports was like, they suck. They're assholes.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  Jay was cracking up because it was, it was pro Eagles.

• 53:45Speaker 00

  It was his team, yeah.

• 53:47Speaker 01

  No, one time we were, we were, the three of us were watching. It was me, Jay and Soder at Jay's house in New York. And the Niners were losing and Dan was all like, okay, okay, man. Okay, okay. All we did, we gotta get it back. We gotta run up the field. I go, it's not gonna happen, Dan. They're not good enough.

• 54:09Speaker 00

  Dude, you're the crumb, dude. You're the salacious. That would fucking kill me. Yeah, I'd be furious. I can tell I would get dark red face immediately. If you said that, I would feel my cheeks get red and I'd be like, haha, I don't even care. I'd give it about five seconds. I go, dude, shut the fuck up.

• 54:34Speaker 01

  I get, listen, I swear to God, that's how I get when somebody says like, you know, if somebody's like, I remember I got that mad at Bill because Burr said the Empire Strikes Back and Star Wars don't hold up his movies. And I got as mad as you're talking at him about that. And I was like, you know what the fuck you're talking about, dude? You don't, you, you think, oh, you fucking saw it too? Shut the fuck up, dude. You know, I, I like literally get that mad.

• 54:57Speaker 02

  Which one's the Empire Strikes Back? Is that the?

• 54:59Speaker 01

  The second one.

• 55:00Speaker 00

  Second.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  When Han gets frozen.

• 55:01Speaker 00

  It's on Hoth, dude. That shit rocks.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  That's tough. That's tough. That's a good one.

• 55:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, Empire Strikes Back.

• 55:05Speaker 00

  Arguably number one.

• 55:06Speaker 02

  It ended bad.

• 55:06Speaker 01

  It's the best one.

• 55:07Speaker 00

  Almost inarguably number one.

• 55:08Speaker 01

  I gotta think hands down it's the best one. And I, and I'm.

• 55:13Speaker 00

  Might have been bad.

• 55:14Speaker 02

  Because what did they do? They just fucking played to the sequel?

• 55:17Speaker 01

  Wait, what happened?

• 55:18Speaker 02

  At the end of the second Star Wars, it just plays to the sequel.

• 55:22Speaker 01

  What do you mean plays to the sequel?

• 55:23Speaker 02

  Like it just ends. It's like a cliffhanger.

• 55:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. That's awesome though.

• 55:27Speaker 02

  That's gay.

• 55:28Speaker 01

  Dude, I saw that movie in the theater as a kid. That was torturous, dude.

• 55:32Speaker 00

  Was that seventy-five?

• 55:34Speaker 01

  No, eighty. It came out in eighty and then I think we saw like a re, you know, when I was like four, five, I think.

• 55:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:41Speaker 01

  But I was old enough to understand because I watched Star Wars on TV. And like, dude, it, it like that cliffhanger, it was, it was torturous.

• 55:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  I was like.

• 55:49Speaker 00

  Lord of the Rings got me. I saw the first one. They just walked the whole time and it fucking ended. I was like.

• 55:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:55Speaker 00

  It was three hours. Oh, when the next one's in fucking three years?

• 55:59Speaker 01

  I, dude, I never read the books.

• 56:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:02Speaker 01

  I knew, I read The Hobbit, but I never read The Lord of the Rings was, I thought the first book, they get to Mordor and they end it. And then the second movie was a different story. And I was like, wait, what the fuck? Like that realization of there's two more movies of them going to Mordor. And I, I was, I was, I don't know if I got this in.

• 56:19Speaker 00

  It's kind of how I felt about Dune one.

• 56:21Speaker 01

  It wasn't for me.

• 56:22Speaker 00

  Dune ended and I was like, oh, you killed like one guy.

• 56:27Speaker 00

  Dune's alright though, Dune 2 picks up.

• 56:30Speaker 01

  Uh, I didn't like the first one, I wasn't feeling the first one.

• 56:33Speaker 00

  Are you excited to see, uh, that new Leonardo movie?

• 56:36Speaker 01

  It looks pretty good.

• 56:37Speaker 00

  The libs are loving it, so I'm sure you're gonna fucking jack off to it.

• 56:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm, I was really excited about it and I hope it's good, but so far, everyone that has like, been like, posting about it or like, hyped about it has been...

• 56:52Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 56:53Speaker 00

  A diehard lib.

• 56:54Speaker 01

  I agree that it's, it's...

• 56:56Speaker 00

  So we'll see what it is.

• 56:57Speaker 01

  When it gets rah-rahed by a certain...

• 56:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:00Speaker 01

  Percentage.

• 57:00Speaker 00

  That's how, that's how movies get ruined.

• 57:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like, yeah.

• 57:02Speaker 00

  That's why I went and saw Black Panther, I was like, this fucking blows dude. Everyone's just jacking off to it.

• 57:07Speaker 02

  It's Black James Bond.

• 57:09Speaker 00

  What is?

• 57:09Speaker 02

  Black Panther. It's just Black James Bond the whole time.

• 57:13Speaker 00

  No, it's not, how the fuck is it James Bond?

• 57:15Speaker 02

  He's, he's, goes to Q, his sister, he gets all the tech and then he goes solve the mysteries.

• 57:22Speaker 00

  Alright.

• 57:23Speaker 01

  I never thought of it like that.

• 57:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's just Black James Bond.

• 57:29Speaker 00

  Of course you didn't think it.

• 57:30Speaker 01

  I think it's more like Black Batman.

• 57:32Speaker 02

  No, Batman stinks.

• 57:35Speaker 01

  What the fuck are you talking about?

• 57:37Speaker 02

  Batman fucking sucks dude.

• 57:38Speaker 01

  What are you talking about?

• 57:40Speaker 02

  Dude, I'm a Superman man, Superman rules, Batman stinks.

• 57:44Speaker 00

  You guys love Superman over Batman?

• 57:45Speaker 01

  No, no, Batman's the king.

• 57:47Speaker 00

  What are you talking about?

• 57:48Speaker 01

  I didn't say that, he said that.

• 57:49Speaker 02

  Batman ruined society, Batman sucks, Superman, we need more Superman in the world.

• 57:53Speaker 01

  Wait, what do you mean Batman ruined society?

• 57:55Speaker 02

  Dude, as soon as Batman Begins came out, everybody started being all like, dark and anti-fucking moral, they're like, I'm gonna do what I need to do to get where I need to be, but there's nobody doing anything.

• 58:06Speaker 01

  What the fuck are you talking about?

• 58:07Speaker 02

  I'm talking about morality, brother.

• 58:09Speaker 01

  You think Batman Begins ruined society?

• 58:12Speaker 02

  Batman Begins started like, amorality culturally.

• 58:15Speaker 01

  How?

• 58:16Speaker 02

  I don't know dude, something about 2005 and Batman doesn't, Batman isn't caring, he doesn't care. He's, he started the billionaire worship culture actually.

• 58:25Speaker 00

  He cares a lot.

• 58:26Speaker 02

  Batman, Batman doesn't give a fuck.

• 58:28Speaker 00

  Bro, he sacrifices himself, dude.

• 58:30Speaker 01

  Batman cares the most, dude. He cares the most.

• 58:33Speaker 02

  Batman is selfish. Batman is selfish and he's a narcissist.

• 58:36Speaker 00

  No, he's not out standing in front of everyone, flying going, oh, I'm Superman. No, dude, he keeps himself.

• 58:40Speaker 02

  Superman doesn't fly. Superman's among the people. He lives with the people.

• 58:43Speaker 00

  Superman doesn't fly?

• 58:44Speaker 02

  Superman, I'm sorry.

• 58:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:46Speaker 02

  Superman isn't flying around willy nilly.

• 58:48Speaker 00

  He's flying through buildings like 9/11 every day.

• 58:51Speaker 02

  He's not flying through buildings.

• 58:52Speaker 00

  There's so many 9/11s because of him.

• 58:53Speaker 02

  Real Superman doesn't fly through buildings. That's just, that's just, that's just the...

• 58:57Speaker 01

  I just watched the, uh, the, uh, Pete Holmes did Batman Fires the Justice League videos.

• 59:02Speaker 00

  Those are funny.

• 59:03Speaker 01

  They are. The Superman one where he goes, let's have a toast. He fills out these glasses and they're green.

• 59:11Speaker 01

  These were having to be kryptonite ice cubes. Would they be Batman? He goes, no, it's Asian green tea.

• 59:18Speaker 01

  He's like, why don't you take a sip first? He just goes.

• 59:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, Pete Holmes Batman's are funny as fuck.

• 59:26Speaker 01

  They're really funny. The, um, uh, the mayor, I, you're, you're, I don't know what you're talking about, right? Batman is the most selfless man on earth. He, he, he doesn't live a Playboy billionaire life. He doesn't enjoy his life because he's there for Gotham. He's giving himself to the city.

• 59:43Speaker 00

  It was Gotham, dude.

• 59:45Speaker 02

  I don't think so.

• 59:46Speaker 01

  At the end of the third one, he almost kills himself to save the entire city.

• 59:51Speaker 02

  The city would be better without Batman. Only reason evil villains exist is because of Batman.

• 59:57Speaker 01

  I never realized, by the way, you guys know Dark Knight Returns, or Rises, I mean.

• 1:00:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:01Speaker 01

  I remember when I first saw it, everybody said, when he, when Alfred sees him in the restaurant at the end in Italy.

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  Do you remember Alfred goes, I have this fantasy where I see you?

• 1:00:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  I remember when I saw the movie, everybody was like, so wait, does Alfred really see him or is that just like, he hopes that he will one day? And I was always like, well, I guess it's up for interpretation. But then I watched it again recently and I never caught the part where, at the very end, Morgan Freeman goes, the autopilot doesn't work on this. And they go, yes, it does. It was fixed by Bruce Wayne. And I was like, oh, he autopiloted the ship and got out.

• 1:00:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  I never caught that. I never caught that part.

• 1:00:38Speaker 00

  You should see Morgan Freeman's Twitter.

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  Why? What's on it?

• 1:00:43Speaker 00

  It's just nuts.

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  Why?

• 1:00:45Speaker 00

  No, there's just somebody named Morgan J Freeman that just is like ultra liberal. For like two years, I thought it was Morgan Freeman. I was like, this guy's a fucking asshole. It's like, fuck Morgan Freeman.

• 1:01:00Speaker 01

  What's he saying? Does he pretend it's Morgan Freeman?

• 1:01:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's just the guy's name is Morgan J Freeman.

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  But he's not like, he's not faking it.

• 1:01:07Speaker 00

  I was like, what the fuck is Morgan Freeman talking about?

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  Do you ever read the, do you ever look on the James Woods Twitter?

• 1:01:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'll peep some James Woods.

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  He goes hard to peep.

• 1:01:17Speaker 00

  He's fired up.

• 1:01:18Speaker 01

  They'll be like, yeah, I guess cops are all bad, you fat pig, Sharpton. He goes hard, dude.

• 1:01:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, James Woods is fired up.

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ, man.

• 1:01:29Speaker 00

  They're our Batmans, dude.

• 1:01:31Speaker 01

  James Woods?

• 1:01:32Speaker 00

  We need somebody, dude. He's the fucking Cape Crusader. We need him. We need him in the, in the shadows. You know what? Maybe I am racist.

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  Yes, dude, I wasn't gonna say it. Jesus Christ.

• 1:01:47Speaker 00

  Man, I'm not for the Batman.

• 1:01:49Speaker 01

  Wait, did you like the new Superman movie?

• 1:01:51Speaker 00

  Yeah. It was fun. It was nice. Superman was Superman.

• 1:01:56Speaker 01

  Except for the fact that he gets beat up at every scene.

• 1:01:59Speaker 00

  Because he does, here's the thing, he doesn't know who's in the suit. Superman has to temper his power to fight.

• 1:02:05Speaker 01

  Not in the suit. The lizard beats him up, the fucking.

• 1:02:09Speaker 00

  He didn't get beat up by a lizard.

• 1:02:10Speaker 01

  The dog saves him like eight times.

• 1:02:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, he got beat up by.

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  He got beat up by a fucking lizard?

• 1:02:15Speaker 00

  He got beat up, no, no.

• 1:02:16Speaker 01

  It's a giant like Godzilla thing.

• 1:02:18Speaker 00

  Superman kills that thing.

• 1:02:19Speaker 01

  By a lizard? He gets knocked around.

• 1:02:20Speaker 00

  He kills that thing. Superman gets knocked around, but he doesn't even kill that thing without exploding it. He knocks it unconscious.

• 1:02:27Speaker 01

  Notre Dame looked good against Arkansas. Notre Dame looked good, dude. Notre Dame fucked up Arkansas so bad, they destroyed the program. Everyone got fired. Really?

• 1:02:37Speaker 00

  Yeah. Notre Dame went crazy on them.

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 1:02:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:02:40Speaker 01

  Hey, how was that show?

• 1:02:41Speaker 00

  Did Notre Dame show? It was, uh, it was not ideal for standup, but it was a dream come true. It's kind of the, probably the coolest thing I've ever done.

• 1:02:52Speaker 01

  How many people?

• 1:02:53Speaker 00

  It's probably like eighty-five thousand.

• 1:02:55Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:02:56Speaker 00

  Not ideal for standup, but pretty fucking cool.

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  What does a laugh sound like in an environment like that?

• 1:03:02Speaker 00

  Well, I didn't run into too many laughs.

• 1:03:07Speaker 00

  A lot of families, a lot of people that were very confused going, who the fuck is this guy? When's he gonna start playing whatever instrument he's supposed to play? Why is he walking around talking for thirty minutes?

• 1:03:18Speaker 01

  Talking about a Down syndrome coffee shop for fifteen minutes.

• 1:03:22Speaker 00

  What the fuck?

• 1:03:25Speaker 01

  That's so fucking funny, man.

• 1:03:26Speaker 00

  Yeah. Shout out to them for letting me do that, the university. They didn't know what I was gonna say, but I'm sure they got some letters since then. And I haven't, they haven't said anything to me, so that's nice.

• 1:03:38Speaker 01

  But it was more hit, so you feel it was more his crowd than your crowd?

• 1:03:41Speaker 00

  It was, I had a lot of people there for sure.

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  Good.

• 1:03:44Speaker 00

  I had a lot, like a lot of people were really, it was, it was cool.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  Good.

• 1:03:47Speaker 00

  It was cool, but there were definitely people there that had no idea who I was and did not see the billing. Or did see the billing and were like, this must be a country singer that I've never heard of. And we're just like.

• 1:03:58Speaker 01

  Your name does sound kinda like a country singer.

• 1:04:00Speaker 00

  He's just, he's just talking for the first ten, will pick up something, he's probably really good. This guy's funny for a musician.

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, the, you, you have a country singer's name. Shane Gillis sounds like a country singer.

• 1:04:17Speaker 00

  I think you can do that with any name. Joe DeRosa?

• 1:04:20Speaker 01

  Doesn't.

• 1:04:20Speaker 00

  Sounds like Ponderosa, it sounds exactly like a western.

• 1:04:25Speaker 00

  Hey folks, I'm Joe DeRosa.

• 1:04:27Speaker 01

  Doesn't have the Shane ring.

• 1:04:28Speaker 00

  It does, you got a country, that's what, you need to get in the country instead of hip hop. Like, have you thought of the bars yet? Cause I'm gonna need those before the end of this.

• 1:04:36Speaker 00

  Desperately.

• 1:04:36Speaker 01

  Sometimes I would write lyrics, like in my head for rappers I was a fan of.

• 1:04:42Speaker 00

  Alright, give me an example.

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  So like I wrote a Too Short lyric in my head once.

• 1:04:46Speaker 00

  Let me hear it.

• 1:04:46Speaker 01

  I wanted, I always wanted to hear Too Short go, "'Cause the one thing I learned about being a Mac. Treat a girl bad, the dumb bitch comes back." That was my Too Short lyric that I wrote.

• 1:04:57Speaker 00

  It's pretty good.

• 1:04:58Speaker 01

  Yeah. You could hear Too Short saying it, couldn't you?

• 1:05:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's nothing to be ashamed of there.

• 1:05:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. Nate's fucking feeling it.

• 1:05:07Speaker 00

  Not in a bad way, but it was way better than I thought it was gonna be.

• 1:05:10Speaker 01

  That's fine.

• 1:05:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was definitely not like great, but it was also.

• 1:05:13Speaker 01

  Two, that's two shirts.

• 1:05:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  I thought you were possessed. I thought you were possessed by two shirts for a second.

• 1:05:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  I actually felt like my two shirt impression wasn't that bad for a first attempt.

• 1:05:23Speaker 00

  No, it was good. I mean, you've been thinking about it for thirty years.

• 1:05:26Speaker 01

  Thirty, about thirty.

• 1:05:27Speaker 00

  Just bouncing around in there. You finally let it out. You can move on.

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  About thirty.

• 1:05:32Speaker 02

  Do you have another one? Can you do like a Nas?

• 1:05:35Speaker 01

  Sometimes I write little raps in my head about comedians I hate and I'm like.

• 1:05:39Speaker 00

  Ooh, that would be ideal.

• 1:05:41Speaker 01

  Do a rap song about comedians and not look like an idiot.

• 1:05:45Speaker 01

  It's no way of doing it not look like an idiot.

• 1:05:47Speaker 00

  Absolute idiot. Decent ones, whatever.

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  Just come out, just rip everybody.

• 1:05:56Speaker 00

  Crack Amigo would bury you, dude. You can't step into his lane.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  Crack's, uh, Cracko's hard.

• 1:06:01Speaker 00

  Sack mad, too.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  Cracko's real hard.

• 1:06:03Speaker 00

  Sacklo's good, too.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  Sacklo is very good. Yeah.

• 1:06:06Speaker 00

  Sacklo sounds like a rapper you would like.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  Sacklo sounds very good. And it's serious rap. It's not funny.

• 1:06:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's good. He's good.

• 1:06:15Speaker 00

  You ever think of any, uh, good raps?

• 1:06:17Speaker 02

  No, I'm not a rapper. That's my trait, though.

• 1:06:20Speaker 00

  Outside of stand-up, what would you do creatively to express your, uh, your inner darkness?

• 1:06:29Speaker 02

  Probably be in a car shop.

• 1:06:30Speaker 00

  Car shop?

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  Playing Yu-Gi-Oh! or something.

• 1:06:33Speaker 00

  Card shop?

• 1:06:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. Playing video games in an arcade.

• 1:06:36Speaker 00

  No, no, I meant creatively.

• 1:06:37Speaker 02

  Oh, card shop.

• 1:06:39Speaker 00

  What?

• 1:06:39Speaker 01

  What's a card shop? You mean like a place that sells Pokemon?

• 1:06:42Speaker 02

  I thought you were making a song.

• 1:06:45Speaker 01

  Let me hear. If you weren't so laid back, I would think you were on coke right now. The shit they're talking about is insane.

• 1:06:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, this is.

• 1:06:51Speaker 01

  You're like, Batman Begins, Rogue Society. I would work in a card shop.

• 1:06:54Speaker 02

  I stand on that. That's a good thing.

• 1:06:57Speaker 00

  Maybe America Vespucci was Voltaire.

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  Dude, that was good, too. That was good, too.

• 1:07:03Speaker 00

  It's a reach. You make, you say a sentence and then everyone has to wait and try to figure out what you meant. And then ask you and go, what, where did that come from? What did you mean by that?

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  I don't know. Just tapped into my smartness.

• 1:07:19Speaker 00

  Just tapped into my smartness. You're a fucking child.

• 1:07:26Speaker 00

  I don't mean to be that mean, but Christ.

• 1:07:28Speaker 02

  Just having fun.

• 1:07:29Speaker 00

  We are having fun and you're, you're.

• 1:07:31Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by Viore.

• 1:07:33Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:34Matt McCusker?

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• 1:07:40Speaker 00

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• 1:07:40Matt McCusker?

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• 1:08:26Matt McCusker?

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• 1:09:26Speaker 00

  Dear friend.

• 1:09:26Speaker 02

  Dude, the Star Wars trilogy, the second one, episode one, two, and three, better set of movies than the first four, five, six. I'll stand on that.

• 1:09:35Speaker 00

  You think the prequels are better than the original?

• 1:09:37Speaker 02

  Like as a set of movies, like all together.

• 1:09:41Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:09:41Speaker 02

  Dude.

• 1:09:42Speaker 01

  I mean, I like the prequels, but no.

• 1:09:43Speaker 02

  As soon as Palpatine goes execute Order sixty-six, it makes all the other movies worth it.

• 1:09:49Speaker 01

  Well, no, Sith is, I love Sith.

• 1:09:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, Sith is awesome.

• 1:09:52Speaker 01

  Sith is in my top three, but, but.

• 1:09:54Speaker 00

  I never gave Clone Wars a real chance.

• 1:09:56Speaker 01

  Attack of the Clones?

• 1:09:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah, Attack of the Clones.

• 1:09:59Speaker 01

  Attack of the Clones is,

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  it's really cool at times, but he, he, he went so hog wild with the CGI shit in it.

• 1:10:09Speaker 00

  CGI is nuts in it.

• 1:10:10Speaker 01

  It's a lot. Like that Droid Factory sequence, it's a little too much, but, but hey, the whole end, like, once they get to that arena and like, like Padme and Obi-Wan and Anakin have to fight those beasts, and then the Jedi come and like, it's the battle and then like, and then they fight Dooku and Yoda comes out like, oh, that shit's awesome, man.

• 1:10:33Speaker 01

  All that shit's awesome. And then Sidious shows up at the very end.

• 1:10:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:10:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, that, that's awesome, but Sith rips.

• 1:10:43Speaker 00

  Don't kill me, Theta.

• 1:10:46Speaker 00

  This is all good stuff.

• 1:10:47Speaker 01

  Sith fucking rips. And then Force Awakens rips, and then they suck after that.

• 1:10:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. I haven't seen any of the newer ones.

• 1:10:54Speaker 00

  Force Awakens gave me real hope.

• 1:10:56Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 1:10:57Speaker 00

  A new hope.

• 1:10:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, me too.

• 1:10:58Speaker 00

  I thought, this is it.

• 1:11:01Speaker 00

  And then the liberals struck back.

• 1:11:04Speaker 01

  Man.

• 1:11:05Speaker 00

  The liberals struck back. They said, you can't have Star Wars. I said, you can take anything you want, but don't take Star Wars.

• 1:11:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, but they.

• 1:11:13Speaker 00

  The liberals got their greedy paws on my Star Wars.

• 1:11:17Speaker 01

  Disney snatched it back.

• 1:11:18Speaker 00

  Disney's, Disney's liberal Star Wars. They ruined it.

• 1:11:24Speaker 01

  They were like, the acolyte is gonna change everything. We believe in the show more than anything. We put the most money into it. Dude, it got trashed. They pulled all the acolyte merch out of the store. They were just like.

• 1:11:34Speaker 00

  What was the acolyte?

• 1:11:35Speaker 01

  It was the one where there was like all the chick Jedis.

• 1:11:41Speaker 00

  It's for the boys, dude. Star Wars is for the boys.

• 1:11:46Speaker 01

  Here's the thing, make it all girl Jedi show, just make it good, make it awesome. Where you're like, this is fucking great. They didn't, it sucked. It sucked. Don't start, they did that whole lesbian planet.

• 1:11:58Speaker 00

  Hey.

• 1:12:01Speaker 00

  Doing the pod right now. Here, you're on.

• 1:12:04Speaker 05

  My ears must have been burning, bro. I don't know.

• 1:12:06Speaker 00

  Uh, it's good so far. It's me, LaMarr and DeRosa. We're kind of just talking about stuff we saw.

• 1:12:12Speaker 00

  Lot of Star Wars, lot of Star Wars talk.

• 1:12:14Speaker 01

  Who's that?

• 1:12:15Speaker 00

  It's McCusker.

• 1:12:15Speaker 01

  Oh, nice.

• 1:12:16Speaker 00

  DeRosa's in your chair right now. He says it's his chair now.

• 1:12:20Speaker 05

  Bro, he's, I, I advocate to throw it to him immediately.

• 1:12:25Speaker 01

  McCusker, I was confused. When Shane texted me, I thought he was saying you needed a partner. And I was like, okay, where are we recording then? He's like, my house. I was like, uh, okay. Where are you gonna be? He's like, my house. I was like.

• 1:12:41Speaker 00

  See, that's what I'm working with. These, these types of stories is what I've been working with.

• 1:12:46Speaker 00

  All I mean is, I'm, I'm trying, dude, I'm trying. You would have been pumped. I had some history stuff early. They walked all over it with, uh.

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  Not true.

• 1:12:52Speaker 00

  They went straight to Batman versus Superman, Star Wars.

• 1:12:56Speaker 01

  Not true.

• 1:12:57Speaker 00

  We're gonna talk about their favorite, uh, toys coming up here in a second. Both of them are figurine collectors.

• 1:13:03Speaker 01

  Matt, he, you know what he kept saying? He kept going, I don't even know why I have Matt here.

• 1:13:10Speaker 05

  They're gonna come together.

• 1:13:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, these dudes, yeah. Arab and black autism are uniting right now.

• 1:13:17Speaker 01

  Man, he keeps saying, he keeps saying McCusker who? I don't know why I bother doing this with him. Uh, he's talking a lot of shit, dude.

• 1:13:24Speaker 00

  Where are you at, Matt?

• 1:13:26Speaker 05

  I'm in New York. I, I just got a, I've been doing my little podcast, podcast whirlwind tour.

• 1:13:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's, it's coming out. I'm very excited for October 7th.

• 1:13:34Speaker 05

  Dude, me too, man. Thank you.

• 1:13:35Speaker 00

  All of our plans are gonna come together.

• 1:13:38Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. Finally, dude.

• 1:13:40Speaker 01

  Wait, it comes out on October 7th?

• 1:13:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, Matt's, Matt's, Matt's special comes out October 7th.

• 1:13:46Speaker 01

  Holy shit.

• 1:13:47Speaker 00

  It's actually, I mean, it's at least, yeah, it's memorable.

• 1:13:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's easy. Exactly. You're not gonna forget. You're gonna go, oh, yeah, yeah, I remember that thing. That's, that's when that comes out. Perfect.

• 1:13:56Speaker 00

  Yeah. Uh, I just saw the, the trailer you posted. It looks wonderful. I can't wait to see it. I can't wait to see you.

• 1:14:04Speaker 05

  Dude, I can't wait to see you either.

• 1:14:05Speaker 00

  All right. I miss you. I love you.

• 1:14:07Speaker 05

  Love you guys, listen bro.

• 1:14:09Speaker 01

  Bye Matt.

• 1:14:11Speaker 00

  I said I love you, he said I love you guys. Interesting.

• 1:14:17Speaker 01

  I felt jealous. I felt jealous. I don't know that I I have gotten an I love you from you before.

• 1:14:25Speaker 00

  You and me say I love you every fucking night, dude.

• 1:14:27Speaker 01

  But that was, that was a very nice sign off. And I kinda wanna change our dynamic. I wanna take some of the-

• 1:14:33Speaker 00

  You're gonna have to, you're gonna have to make some big changes.

• 1:14:35Speaker 01

  I wanna take-

• 1:14:35Speaker 00

  So you've had this question with me before. You go, "How come you don't talk to Matt or Soder like that?"

• 1:14:40Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no.

• 1:14:41Speaker 00

  Cause they are not rotten pigs.

• 1:14:42Speaker 01

  That's not what I'm saying.

• 1:14:43Speaker 00

  All the time.

• 1:14:43Speaker 01

  That's not what I'm saying.

• 1:14:44Speaker 00

  You go, "You don't talk shit to them like you do to me." Yes, because they don't talk shit to me.

• 1:14:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:14:49Speaker 00

  Like you do to me.

• 1:14:50Speaker 01

  Well, well-

• 1:14:50Speaker 00

  I don't want war. I've seen war. But if you want war, so help me God, somebody else will be raising your fucking children.

• 1:15:00Speaker 01

  Hold on, you cut off my nice thing I was gonna say.

• 1:15:03Speaker 00

  What?

• 1:15:03Speaker 01

  And I was gonna own it.

• 1:15:04Speaker 00

  It wasn't gonna be nice, it was gonna be-

• 1:15:05Speaker 01

  Yes, it was. It was gonna be nice. I was gonna say, I wanna start removing some of the acidity from the relationship. And start to move towards a more caring, a more endearing, more loving dynamic.

• 1:15:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, what are your proposals? What changes are you gonna make? What are you offering me other than-

• 1:15:22Speaker 01

  Let's be-

• 1:15:23Speaker 00

  Sounds like you're coming to the table going, Shane, you need to make some changes.

• 1:15:25Speaker 01

  No, no, no, let's be honest. We both have some heavy lifting to do. But I'll, I'll start.

• 1:15:30Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:15:31Speaker 01

  I'll start.

• 1:15:32Speaker 00

  Here's how we can start.

• 1:15:32Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:15:33Speaker 00

  Next time we hang out.

• 1:15:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:35Speaker 00

  Neither of us criticize the other one.

• 1:15:36Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:15:37Speaker 00

  Until the other one

• 1:15:39Speaker 01

  Does it first.

• 1:15:39Speaker 00

  It's a ceasefire. And I'm gonna go see you started it.

• 1:15:42Speaker 01

  Alright, no, ceasefire.

• 1:15:43Speaker 00

  Ceasefire. But if you're doing something slimy or gay, I do get to say that that's slimy and gay.

• 1:15:49Speaker 01

  But hold on a second. Here's the problem. You think everything's slimy and gay.

• 1:15:53Speaker 00

  That's not true.

• 1:15:53Speaker 01

  So you call out, yes you do, you call out-

• 1:15:57Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:15:57Speaker 01

  So much shit.

• 1:15:58Speaker 00

  Nate, I, I don't do that to you.

• 1:16:02Speaker 03

  You don't, you don't call me slimy and gay?

• 1:16:05Speaker 00

  No, I call you zesty, but that's a fun joke.

• 1:16:08Speaker 03

  Hmm, you, you call me slimy and gay.

• 1:16:12Speaker 00

  Why are you gay? You are slimy. Why are you, when, when do, I don't think so. If I, I don't, you don't really do too many, you don't really do too many things that I would be like, stop doing that.

• 1:16:22Speaker 03

  You don't mean it from the heart.

• 1:16:23Speaker 00

  I like when you, I like when you goof off.

• 1:16:25Speaker 03

  You, you hit me with a, I can't believe you're doing this when I'm having fun, but it's because you know it's gonna put me in my head.

• 1:16:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean, like, if you were, and we can delete this part if we need to. But if I saw you sitting at the bar being like, talking to a girl, being like, oh, that's cool body art you have. Look at this, this piece right here. I got this, blah, blah, blah. If I'm in the bar and I see you doing that, I'm gonna slime you out.

• 1:16:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, but, but see, you shouldn't do that. You gotta let your, you gotta let your friends work in the way they work.

• 1:16:57Speaker 00

  I don't like to see him work that way.

• 1:16:59Speaker 01

  No. How do you like to see your friends work? Let, let a man work. Let my techniques work.

• 1:17:05Speaker 00

  And you have stepped on my techniques sometimes.

• 1:17:08Speaker 01

  Stepped on your techniques?

• 1:17:09Speaker 00

  Oh, my God.

• 1:17:09Speaker 01

  It's so funny. The only times I've been talking to a chick at a bar and you're, you're visibly mocking me from across the room. Like visibly, like.

• 1:17:19Speaker 00

  I, look. I'm all for one of the bros getting some pussy.

• 1:17:25Speaker 00

  But you gotta do it the right way.

• 1:17:27Speaker 01

  I know how to do it. You gotta.

• 1:17:29Speaker 00

  You know how to, yeah, alright.

• 1:17:30Speaker 01

  I know how to talk. I know how to talk.

• 1:17:32Speaker 00

  I don't like the, I, you do. You're very good at, that's why you're very, that's why you remind me of Timberlake.

• 1:17:41Speaker 01

  The moose.

• 1:17:42Speaker 00

  You remind me of the moose, dude.

• 1:17:45Speaker 01

  Timberlake, the moose.

• 1:17:46Speaker 00

  You remind me of Timberlake and the moose. Shout out Mussolini, Justin Timberlake Mussolini. But I guess, yeah, maybe that's on me. May, alright, I'll allow.

• 1:17:56Speaker 01

  So I'm saying, I think we both got a little heavy lifting to do.

• 1:17:59Speaker 00

  It was so hard not to make fun of a guy that's like, it depends how you're talking to a girl. Brother, if it's like, I see you laying it on thick, dude, I go, what is he doing? Just play it cool, baby.

• 1:18:16Speaker 00

  Play it cool, baby.

• 1:18:18Speaker 01

  You, this is, listen, listen, I think we both have to remove some judgment of the other man's behaviors, and I think we'll get very far.

• 1:18:28Speaker 00

  I like where we're at.

• 1:18:30Speaker 01

  I don't hate it.

• 1:18:31Speaker 00

  I like where we're at.

• 1:18:32Speaker 01

  I don't hate it, but I will say this, we've gotten ourselves into a corner of it's at a nine and a half from the beginning of that.

• 1:18:41Speaker 00

  No, it used to be, it used to be, it's not, it's not, it's not anymore. That's like three years ago, shit.

• 1:18:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're right, it's chilled out, it's chilled out.

• 1:18:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, we'd have, every time we'd go out, we'd have to talk on the phone two days later.

• 1:18:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, we good dude, yeah, I just, you know.

• 1:18:59Speaker 01

  Oh dude, you fuck off, fuck off dude. You fucking, you, you had your share of, come on, you know, the, you know, just poking, poking, from the poking, you're a poker.

• 1:19:14Speaker 00

  You got little brother syndrome.

• 1:19:15Speaker 01

  Admit that you're a poker.

• 1:19:16Speaker 00

  You got a lot of little brother in you.

• 1:19:17Speaker 01

  You're, you got a lot of big brother in you.

• 1:19:20Speaker 00

  You poke first, then you get poked and you go, mom.

• 1:19:24Speaker 01

  Sometimes I poke first, sometimes you poke first, admit it, sometimes you sit on my head in the living room.

• 1:19:32Speaker 00

  Just right away.

• 1:19:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. I'll tell you a huge moment, huge moment for us, this huge positive, huge positive moment, this year, when, when, when we got a little tense on my birthday, as we did last year on my birthday, you said to me, you go, you get a little sensitive around your birthday, don't you, and I was like, yeah dude, dude, I get very depressed.

• 1:19:55Speaker 00

  You got way too sensitive.

• 1:19:56Speaker 01

  That was a huge moment for me.

• 1:19:57Speaker 00

  You were letting Voss Man get in your head.

• 1:20:00Speaker 01

  Listen.

• 1:20:01Speaker 00

  Voss Man was in there, dude.

• 1:20:02Speaker 01

  Voss Man in my head and me wanting to say, Voss, shut the fuck up, that's two different things, Voss is like a cheese grater after a while, and you're like, bro, shut up dude.

• 1:20:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, but it's so funny, it's, he doesn't say anything mean.

• 1:20:17Speaker 01

  No, no, that's, you're just like, Voss, shut up, shut up.

• 1:20:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, but he's just having fun.

• 1:20:23Speaker 01

  He's talking about Israel for 25 minutes, and then he's like.

• 1:20:26Speaker 00

  For some reason with him, I don't care, when he's like, you see what they're doing now, they're fucking, they keep hiding under the school. Yeah, alright, alright.

• 1:20:35Speaker 01

  This is Voss, this is what he did, when we were in, we were in Yellow Springs, we went to this comic book, the comic store, I bought that Boba Fett comic book.

• 1:20:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:20:44Speaker 01

  When I first saw it, I was in the store with Voss earlier that day. And he comes up to me and he goes, he goes, "Do you, the number one Superman, the first one?" I go, "The, the action comics number one where he's like holding the car over his head?" And he's like, "Yeah," he goes, "Is, that's worth money, right?" And I go, "Yeah, it's considerable money." And he goes, "I, I have it." And I go, "You have action, you don't have it." And he goes, "No, no, no, I swear to God." He goes, "I have it for when I was like, my dad gave it to me from whatever." And he's like, "I have it." He goes, "And I knew it was probably worth something like, so I kept it in decent shape, but like, I don't know, I just never sold it. Do you think it's worth anything?" And I go, "Yeah, it's probably worth hundreds of thousands of dollars." And he goes, "Psych."

• 1:21:30Speaker 00

  He just never had you.

• 1:21:33Speaker 01

  And I go, "I don't give a shit if you don't have a valuable thing." Like, what is the joke? I don't even understand what the joke is.

• 1:21:40Speaker 00

  Voss made it, baby. Voss is in your head.

• 1:21:44Speaker 01

  That's an example, though, of what he'll do all day, and you're like, "Voss, shut up."

• 1:21:47Speaker 00

  I, I love it, I love it. I'm bringing him to Vegas. You're not getting one weekend without the Voss man. You're not getting one without Voss.

• 1:21:56Speaker 01

  Let's go, dude.

• 1:21:58Speaker 00

  The Voss man's on your ass.

• 1:22:02Speaker 01

  The Voss man cometh.

• 1:22:04Speaker 00

  Voss dominates, Derosa.

• 1:22:06Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 1:22:06Speaker 00

  Cause Voss is also bulletproof, dude.

• 1:22:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:09Speaker 00

  He's a-

• 1:22:10Speaker 01

  What are you, he's bulletproof?

• 1:22:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, you can make fun of him all day.

• 1:22:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:14Speaker 00

  Nothing. In one ear, out the other, just every insult, he just laughs with you.

• 1:22:19Speaker 01

  I love, I love, I love the Voss man. I love the Voss man.

• 1:22:22Speaker 00

  He'll get you.

• 1:22:22Speaker 01

  But you know you're wasting a slot in Vegas.

• 1:22:25Speaker 00

  With a soberman?

• 1:22:26Speaker 01

  You need to fuck, eat a fucking degenerate into that.

• 1:22:29Speaker 00

  No, no, I've got a nice thing going on the road. One degenerate, one soberman.

• 1:22:34Speaker 01

  Alright, fair enough, yeah.

• 1:22:35Speaker 00

  Took Tommy and Bobby Kelly.

• 1:22:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I saw.

• 1:22:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:38Speaker 01

  You're bringing a sobe in?

• 1:22:39Speaker 00

  You do, you bring the sobe in.

• 1:22:40Speaker 01

  And Jay's only gonna have three beers.

• 1:22:42Speaker 00

  Jay's going to bed at 10pm.

• 1:22:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Jay's gonna go play a steam deck.

• 1:22:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:22:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. Bobby's gonna wear fucking sunglasses, not drink.

• 1:22:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:22:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, but then you got the Pope, the Pope, that's like having three Alkis.

• 1:22:57Speaker 00

  Pope mobile is flying, dude.

• 1:22:59Speaker 01

  The Pope mobile?

• 1:23:06Speaker 00

  He's not stopped, dude.

• 1:23:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what it is from there on. That's tricky with Pope. I want the Pope mobile tonight, dude.

• 1:23:14Speaker 00

  He, he just goes, dude. He brought, so we got off the plane and went to, uh, the, the mothership. He brought a paper cup with no ice filled to the brim with tequila.

• 1:23:26Speaker 01

  Jesus.

• 1:23:27Speaker 00

  It was like a crumbled up cup and he put it on the, no one else was in the bar. So they were like cleaning up and he put the paper cup on the bar and went to the bathroom. And then he said he walked back in and he heard me being like, well, yeah, he's a fucking alcoholic.

• 1:23:39Speaker 01

  Wait, was this Saturday night?

• 1:23:41Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah. It was like, we got in like, we got in like one. We just missed you guys.

• 1:23:45Speaker 01

  Dude, I left because I was like, nothing's going on. I'm going to sit here and drink for no reason.

• 1:23:48Speaker 00

  It's good. It's good. We missed everybody and just went home.

• 1:23:50Speaker 01

  Um, holy shit, dude. That is so fucking funny.

• 1:23:54Speaker 00

  He was flying.

• 1:23:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, our last, I told you.

• 1:23:57Speaker 00

  This is my favorite. He got in, he got in the car or we were leaving, leaving the hotel and sometimes autograph people show up. And I, you know, I'm hungover. It's the next morning. My God, I get in the car. I'm like, he's fucking, dude. And they're not fans. They're just people selling signatures.

• 1:24:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:14Speaker 00

  And it's like, Jesus, like sometimes they'll be like, Sean, Sean.

• 1:24:18Speaker 00

  Big fan. And, uh, I get in the car and I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ, dude. These guys suck. And he just looks at me and goes, God forbid somebody, God forbid somebody loves you.

• 1:24:28Speaker 00

  And I was just like, oh, you're hammered? It's fucking 11 a.m. dude. It's like, you're drunk right now.

• 1:24:36Speaker 00

  And he was like, yeah, I got the, yeah, there you go. I got a fucking buddy.

• 1:24:40Speaker 01

  The Eagles played the day, the, the last, my last mothership show was Sunday.

• 1:24:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:24:45Speaker 01

  And the Eagles played that day.

• 1:24:46Speaker 00

  It was Eagles Rams.

• 1:24:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:48Speaker 00

  The whole squad was hurting.

• 1:24:49Speaker 01

  So dude, I, I show up, I stay in all day. Tony and everybody, they're out bar hopping. They're like, come on, pig. And I'm like, I, I can't guys, I have a show.

• 1:24:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, Tony's like, the pig signal is in the air. Let's go, dude. And I was like, I got a show, dude. I'll meet you an hour before. I can't bar hop with you guys.

• 1:25:10Speaker 01

  Anyway, I finally, I show up at Copper Tank like an hour before the show and Pope is sitting there. And I walk up, he's sitting like this, and I walk up to the table and I go, what's up, dude? I hit him on the shoulder and he goes like this.

• 1:25:25Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 1:25:26Speaker 00

  He goes, I don't like you.

• 1:25:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, dead eyes. He goes, I've been drinking since 9 a.m. I was like, oh my god.

• 1:25:33Speaker 00

  It's not good. That was a rough one.

• 1:25:36Speaker 01

  Killed like he was sober. Killed like couldn't, you couldn't tell he had one drink.

• 1:25:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, his stand up is pretty, uh, he can do it hammered.

• 1:25:45Speaker 01

  You couldn't, yeah, it was wild. You couldn't tell he had one drink.

• 1:25:50Speaker 00

  That was a fun night, though. That was, Tony was hammered. I've never, he's been getting, it's very funny. He's like, I just realized getting as drunk as possible is fun.

• 1:26:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, dude, it rocks.

• 1:26:06Speaker 00

  Don't do it too much, but it does rock.

• 1:26:07Speaker 01

  No, we always sing this song when we see, we see each other. I was like.

• 1:26:10Speaker 00

  You should not tell anyone this, but go ahead.

• 1:26:12Speaker 01

  Oh, no, no, all right, nevermind.

• 1:26:13Speaker 00

  Go ahead, do it.

• 1:26:14Speaker 01

  See?

• 1:26:14Speaker 00

  I'm trying to help you.

• 1:26:15Speaker 01

  You're, you're, you're doing.

• 1:26:16Speaker 00

  I'm trying to help you, I swear, but go ahead.

• 1:26:18Speaker 01

  No, no, no, you're doing your little.

• 1:26:20Speaker 00

  What was, what's the song you and Tony sing when you see each other?

• 1:26:22Speaker 01

  You're doing your little.

• 1:26:23Speaker 00

  I just saved you. You think I'm being a bad guy. I'm Snape right now.

• 1:26:28Speaker 00

  This whole time you thought I was against you, dude. You know I'm Snape.

• 1:26:33Speaker 01

  Snape, Snape the hot.

• 1:26:38Speaker 01

  All right, we'll tell the song.

• 1:26:40Speaker 00

  Please tell the song.

• 1:26:40Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 1:26:41Speaker 00

  No, no, now I'd really like to know.

• 1:26:42Speaker 01

  It's when we're hammered.

• 1:26:43Speaker 00

  I know, but I'd like to know it now.

• 1:26:45Speaker 01

  Cause we're always like, all right, dude, let's chill out tomorrow night. Let's not do anything. And then we, and then cut to the next night, 2 a.m. Like, huh, we did it again. And he goes, cause we got a problem. And that's the song. We sing a song called We Got A Problem. It makes us laugh. And yeah, cut that out. Cut that out.

• 1:27:04Speaker 00

  Nope.

• 1:27:05Speaker 01

  Cut that out.

• 1:27:05Speaker 00

  Cause we got a problem.

• 1:27:09Speaker 01

  Funny to sing.

• 1:27:10Speaker 00

  Ooh, that's gonna come back to haunt you.

• 1:27:13Speaker 01

  It's funny to sing. It's funny to sing.

• 1:27:16Speaker 00

  Well, when you're drunk, it seems very funny.

• 1:27:17Speaker 02

  I love singing when I get drunk. Me and the boys, we hit a quartet.

• 1:27:20Speaker 00

  What do you guys sing?

• 1:27:20Speaker 02

  We fucking, uh, and if I ever, uh, no, it's, uh, Fall in Love by, I can't remember, Shay. I think it's about him. Hit some, uh, CCR.

• 1:27:31Speaker 00

  Can you sing? Yeah. Can you sing, uh, If I Ever Fall in Love With You?

• 1:27:36Speaker 02

  Which one is that?

• 1:27:37Speaker 00

  The one you were just saying you sang?

• 1:27:38Speaker 02

  Oh, and if, that's Casey and JoJo though, right?

• 1:27:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm not sure who it is. Can you sing it? Can you sing it as, as literally as, as hard as you can?

• 1:27:48Speaker 02

  Nah, if I'm drunk.

• 1:27:49Speaker 00

  Like, no, but like right now, can you sing?

• 1:27:50Speaker 02

  I'm not, I can't.

• 1:27:52Speaker 00

  It's a fun game to play. You try to make your boys actually sing.

• 1:27:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's why I have committed to the we've got a problem.

• 1:27:58Speaker 00

  I know. I would have, I would have liked to hear you really sing.

• 1:28:00Speaker 01

  Don't cut that out, but cut out when I said cut that out.

• 1:28:06Speaker 00

  Keep them all in. Although that's funny.

• 1:28:09Speaker 01

  It's a dumb thing you do with your friend when you're drunk and it, it's, it's funny to you guys, you know?

• 1:28:14Speaker 00

  It is funny and I'm excited to sing it with you.

• 1:28:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:18Speaker 01

  I bet you have a good time singing it with us.

• 1:28:20Speaker 00

  Probably will.

• 1:28:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. 10 beers will change that attitude.

• 1:28:25Speaker 00

  Usually a pretty jolly mood.

• 1:28:27Speaker 01

  God damn drinking is fun. Why does it never get old? Why does it never get old?

• 1:28:33Speaker 00

  Are you sure? It gets so old.

• 1:28:37Speaker 01

  Like you said, one, two days off and you're like, I'm.

• 1:28:42Speaker 00

  Day three comes around, I go, I'm gonna have a couple.

• 1:28:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:44Speaker 00

  I'm gonna take it easy tonight.

• 1:28:46Speaker 01

  But my point is this, like, like, uh, like with, uh, mushrooms, for instance, right? I had, I had a bad, uh, trip over COVID and I was like, that's it. I've never taken mushrooms.

• 1:28:59Speaker 00

  People do that with alcohol that are not alcoholics.

• 1:29:02Speaker 01

  I don't get why, no matter how bad of a hangover I've ever had, it never sticks. Like, no, don't do this anymore.

• 1:29:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, there's hangovers you wake up and go, all right, fucking, I'm done.

• 1:29:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29:13Speaker 00

  There you go. I'm not gonna drink for two weeks.

• 1:29:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29:16Speaker 00

  Fucking Wednesday.

• 1:29:17Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying.

• 1:29:20Speaker 02

  Guess who just got back today?

• 1:29:24Speaker 01

  You know what I think the difference is? You know what I think the difference is? I think it's easier to quit a drug because a drug, the bad part happens during. With booze, the bad part happens after, and that's why it's always so hard to remember that part. If, in other words, like if I drank-

• 1:29:44Speaker 00

  I also think alcohol is extremely addictive.

• 1:29:46Speaker 01

  Sure, that might be it too. But if I drank and I started having panic attacks while I was drinking, I'd be like, I'm not doing it. I would be terrified, you know what I mean? Like you would like a bad acid trip or something, but like the bad part of alcohol is just you feel like hell the next day sometimes.

• 1:30:03Speaker 00

  I watched a good PBS doc on prohibition.

• 1:30:05Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 1:30:06Speaker 00

  It's pretty good.

• 1:30:07Speaker 01

  What'd he say?

• 1:30:08Speaker 00

  Uh, the thing I never really thought of was, so like women were really leading the prohibition movement. They were like, we need to make alcohol illegal because, or no, but that's what I always thought. I always thought, ugh, just ruining a fucking good time. Turns out there's no laws back then about beating the fuck out of your family or raping your wife.

• 1:30:28Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:30:29Speaker 00

  So these guys would come home, no, there's no laws, dude. These guys would come home and just whoop their families ass.

• 1:30:36Speaker 01

  They thought taking the booze away would make the guys less angry?

• 1:30:39Speaker 00

  I think so.

• 1:30:40Speaker 01

  The beating's uptick after the booze was taken away.

• 1:30:44Speaker 00

  No, these guys were coming home, dude, they drank back then.

• 1:30:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:30:49Speaker 02

  Dude, they had a hard day. The food's cold.

• 1:30:53Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 1:30:54Speaker 00

  And also you're blacked out.

• 1:30:56Speaker 01

  And you're working in a fucking factory. I mean, it's, you know, jobs sucked back then.

• 1:31:01Speaker 02

  Your kids are shit.

• 1:31:02Speaker 01

  I'm not justifying what they did.

• 1:31:04Speaker 00

  Sounds like it.

• 1:31:05Speaker 01

  It's a powder keg is what I'm saying.

• 1:31:07Speaker 02

  I'm justifying it.

• 1:31:08Speaker 00

  You're justifying it.

• 1:31:09Speaker 02

  The kids are shit. The wife doesn't fucking do her shit. You wanna hit them. You know, you're blacked out, you gotta hit them.

• 1:31:16Speaker 01

  Balls are too.

• 1:31:17Speaker 02

  To the moon.

• 1:31:19Speaker 01

  Remember in Goodfellas? Remember in Goodfellas when his dad beats him up real bad because he hasn't been going to school for months? Yeah. Like, imagine the rage you would have felt if you immigrated here from Ireland or Italy or wherever. Because you wanted to have a better life for your family and then you have a kid here, all you sacrificed for him and then your kid turns out to be a punk. I can't imagine the fucking rage you would feel about that, you know what I mean? Like, it's beyond disappointment. Yeah. You know, it's beyond. You're like, I sacrificed literally everything to try to build this for you guys and you don't appreciate it? Like, you know, that's why those guys, I think, drag so much.

• 1:32:01Speaker 01

  I'm not saying that's the only reason, but it's a hell of a, it's a hell of a reason. Yeah. You know, but- Sure.

• 1:32:07Speaker 02

  So you little punk, when I was your age, I had four jobs.

• 1:32:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, but fucking, I mean, man, I wonder what it was like to get cocked in a bar like, I mean, there must have been fights every night and, yeah. Yeah, they're talking about how the bars were back then and it was- What'd they say? It was just, it was brutal, yeah. It was everything you think. Just guys getting stabbed and shit? And the amount, like, America drank more than every country on earth, like, immediately. Like, just immediately. Because it was all fucking immigrants from Ireland, like, poor immigrants. They were just obliterated. And other coun- like, people were like, this is gonna ruin this country. Nah, we took right off. Yeah. We took right off. It's good, you should check it out, Prohibition on PBS. Is it Ken Burns?

• 1:32:52Speaker 01

  Uh, it's Ken Burns adjacent, if it's not Ken. Is it Barry Burns, the brother of Ken? This mysterious, this mysterious Ken Burns brother?

• 1:33:03Speaker 02

  Did a, uh, when was prohibition?

• 1:33:06Speaker 01

  The 30s, right? Or was it the 20s? It was the, fuck. Had to be right before- It would have been the 20s? It's Al Capone time. Yeah. So like, late 20s, maybe? 20s, 30s.

• 1:33:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:22Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:33:22Speaker 01

  Damn dude.

• 1:33:24Speaker 00

  It is.

• 1:33:24Speaker 01

  I didn't know it was that long.

• 1:33:26Speaker 00

  But it just immediately led to gangsters and it's pretty cool. It's a cool time.

• 1:33:33Speaker 01

  There's this bar I went to.

• 1:33:34Speaker 00

  The roaring twenties and then into the Great Depression. They had to fucking let the booze out there in the Depression. They were like, alright, fucking.

• 1:33:40Speaker 01

  And by the way dude.

• 1:33:41Speaker 02

  The Depression was detox.

• 1:33:43Speaker 01

  How fun would it have been to get fucked up in the roaring twenties? Cause you had to drink it like little speakeasies in secret places.

• 1:33:50Speaker 00

  Would've been fun.

• 1:33:51Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 1:33:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, it would've been like high school.

• 1:33:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:53Speaker 00

  Chicks go out to the woods.

• 1:33:55Speaker 02

  I went to this one place in Worcester. It's like a pirate tavern. It's like a pirate bar. But under it, they had the Babe Ruth, uh, they had a prohibition like.

• 1:34:05Speaker 00

  Speakeasy.

• 1:34:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was speakeasy, but there was like a, it was connected to the water where they would like send bottles of alcohol there. And they would just pick them up for like Babe Ruth and like athletes and stuff.

• 1:34:14Speaker 01

  That's cool.

• 1:34:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:34:15Speaker 01

  The, um.

• 1:34:17Speaker 00

  I like that little man.

• 1:34:18Speaker 01

  I feel like it's.

• 1:34:19Speaker 00

  The fuck?

• 1:34:20Speaker 01

  I feel like it was like, I feel like speakeasies, like prohibition, I feel like it was like prostitution where like, there's a goddamn massage parlor every three feet. You know what's going on in a lot of these places? It's like the cops never raid them. They just operate.

• 1:34:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:34:34Speaker 01

  I feel like that's how prohibition was.

• 1:34:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, the term bootlegger came from, uh, just guys who would sell booze on the street. They would just keep like in their socks or their pants. They would have a bottle and you'd just go up and take a swig and then put it back in. They called them bootleggers.

• 1:34:50Speaker 01

  Now I get it.

• 1:34:51Speaker 00

  What do you think about that, fellas?

• 1:34:54Speaker 00

  Interesting stuff.

• 1:34:54Speaker 01

  My coffee thing flew over there. Sorry.

• 1:34:56Speaker 00

  That's alright. We should end this podcast. Matthew, we miss you. We love you. October 7th, Matthew's new special comes out. Also Baltimore, there's still tickets left. Come to that show.

• 1:35:16Speaker 06

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