Using Amazon For Body Disposal w/ Duncan Trussell | Your Mom's House Ep. 865

Gape your 4th eye with Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell's new podcast Mystery Boys and get to the bottom of what's really going on in the world: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-i3EV1v5hLdsQknDbyTEDhROmB-qoGg7 SPONSORS: If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: https://learn.nocd.com/YMH You can get $5 off your next order, including the Protein Pastries, at https://MagicSpoon.com/YMH. Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://quo.com/YMH. For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. What's up , chomos! Tom's traveling, so Christina P brings back Duncan Trussell, Mystery Boys co-host and a man whose stated life philosophy is permanent, undisclosed arousal. They open the show with another offering from the Horny Cowboy, who we learn has Howie Mandel as a follower, and a "hog reveal" so disappointing you'll wish he really did whip it out. After that, thongs as bacterial superhighways, why orgies sound exhausting, and Duncan's never-before-told stint as a sex worker who was, infuriatingly, only ever booked by women. Then it's off to Bicycle Day, the true story of Albert Hofmann accidentally inventing LSD while trying to help women give birth. They detour into body disposal logistics on Amazon, airport stress-piss theory, and Disney Adult shirts for every condition imaginable. Yes, even erectile dysfunction! Christina's TikTok curations close us out, featuring an Austin rap guy, a woman live-documenting her suspiciously cinematic bedtime routine, a separate woman convinced she's married to a Shia LaBeouf clone, homeless-removal drone fantasies, and amateur gimp training. Duncan has some really serious thoughts on gimps too. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 865 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:41 - Stick My Dick In A Fan 00:09:26 - Opening Clip: Flash Your Lady 00:19:18 - Hog Reveal, Swinger Lingo & Orgy Logistics 00:25:40 - Sex Worker Confession 00:32:33 - Clip: Dracula Ass Pool 00:36:47 - Airport Bathrooms 00:42:25 - How to Dispose of a Body 00:46:22 - Bicycle Day: The Untold Story of LSD 00:51:53 - Disney Adults & Disney Diseases 01:03:10 - Christina's TikTok Curations 01:10:33 - The Shia LaBeouf Clone Conspiracy 01:20:47 - More TikToks 01:30:56 - Poser Gimps 01:38:57 - Closing Song - "FaceFat" by Jasilisk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:11Tom Segura?

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• 0:56Tom Segura?

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• 1:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  What's your favorite genre?

• 1:14Speaker 02

  Genre? Right now, drum and...

• 1:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Farts, black guys, Jews, old people, conflict, making fun of women?

• 1:22Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go, like, black guys, Jews?

• 1:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, I can't... Black, black guy Jews?

• 1:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, is that what you said?

• 1:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, where's blacks on here? I know there's a...

• 1:37Speaker 02

  It's the blue one. If we have to pick, you do farts, Jews.

• 1:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, black.

• 1:41Speaker 02

  Jew farts.

• 1:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Black. There's a ton of black drops, right?

• 1:45Speaker 03

  You got a McDonald's, nigga?

• 1:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's Brian Simpson.

• 1:47Speaker 03

  A dickson ain't cheating. Oh, my fucking god. Fucking retarded.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:57Speaker 03

  Damn, damn, that nigga nice. That nigga nice.

• 2:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, it's from the video.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  What's the Jew content?

• 2:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, sure.

• 2:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Set it off, bitch. That's my favorite part. Here's the Jew stuff.

• 2:10Speaker 04

  Invented highways, invented the very microphone that I use as a musician.

• 2:15Speaker 02

  Who said that?

• 2:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't know.

• 2:16Speaker 02

  Who was that?

• 2:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Which Jew was that?

• 2:18Speaker 05

  Kanye.

• 2:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, Kanye.

• 2:20Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, he's apology tour.

• 2:22Speaker 05

  He said he created the microphone.

• 2:24Speaker 06

  Cause I like his name to be honest. Hitler.

• 2:28Speaker 04

  I don't like the word evil next to Nazis.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  That's what offends you?

• 2:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Her yummy pussy. You know, there's a lot of people that are pro Hitler. Let's start the show. Hi, guys. Welcome to Your Mom's House. I'm Christine. Tim is traveling and in his place, I have the wonderful Duncan Trussell. Everybody, Duncan's back.

• 2:52Speaker 02

  Hi.

• 2:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  In Your Mom's House.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 2:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Back by popular demand.

• 2:56Speaker 02

  Thank you. That's, that's amazing.

• 2:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  We love you.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  I love coming on the show. You fill me in on what's happening, the important things going on in the culture.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 3:12Speaker 02

  Wow, that's, was that opening up to Ken Homans sarcophagus?

• 3:19Speaker 02

  Isn't that the sound when they opened it up after?

• 3:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes.

• 3:21Speaker 02

  And it's eerie. It's like thousands of years.

• 3:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  It's been closed and then they open it and thank God they were, will you play it again? Cause it's so eerie.

• 3:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's my mother-in-law's monumental fart. That's the fart heard around the world. Did you know that? It's like a 30-second fart or something? No, listen, just really listen. I want you to really hear it.

• 3:50Speaker 02

  You know, I bet you could use, I bet you could give that to AI and it could create, it could show what her butthole looks like.

• 3:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  Acoustically, I bet there's a way to identify the, probably, right? I mean, there's gotta be. Like you could.

• 4:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  You know what to do, people. You know what to do. He's right. There's an app out there that's like, match the butthole movements to this fart.

• 4:12Speaker 02

  There has to be.

• 4:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Match this, or you should invent it if it's not there.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  Someone will do a much better job than me. I'm out of my vibe coding phase, but maybe I'll jump back into it just for that.

• 4:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Listen, before we get into it, I have to plug, I always want, don't you feel like when you say the word plug, you, I automatically think butt plug? Or like plug my asshole?

• 4:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  I have to plug my, my anus.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  Isn't that wild?

• 4:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  Butt plugs, like, because of butt plugs, it's hard to say plug now?

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Isn't that crazy?

• 4:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know, and I don't want to think it. It's like whenever I see a fan, I always think, I want to put my dick in this fan, even though I don't even have a dick.

• 4:48Speaker 02

  What?

• 4:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 4:49Speaker 02

  That is so cool. That's such a, I've thought that too, when I, when I see fans. That's a weird thing.

• 4:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why is that so prominent that?

• 4:57Speaker 02

  It might be, you know, it just might be the thing that gives you access to the simulator. Like, you know what I mean? It's like, it's a, it's a cheat code in the simulator, because no one will ever put their dick in a fan. So don't worry about that.

• 5:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Somebody's doing it right now, Duncan.

• 5:11Speaker 02

  Because of this, hundreds of people now are putting their dicks in fans, hoping they can control time space.

• 5:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's why you do it? That's why you do it?

• 5:20Speaker 02

  That's the only way. The only way to drive a time machine is that you navigate via your cock in a, in a fan, a metal fan.

• 5:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  What if that was the secret to time travel? And all these smart people like Stephen Hawking and all, they've tried for years? And like, just some fucking dumb stoner in Austin?

• 5:37Speaker 02

  It's just like, oh, I'm gonna stick my dick in a fan. Holy shit, dinosaurs!

• 5:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, we just wrote the next Hollywood movie. This is this Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park 8 or whatever, horrific.

• 5:50Speaker 02

  It's the secret of Doctor Who. It's just, yeah. That does, I think it

• 5:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  They suck, okay, sorry. We haven't plugged, I forgot to plug my asshole.

• 5:59Speaker 02

  Plug your ass.

• 6:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Plug my butt. I'm so jazzed, I'm coming to London. I can't believe I said jazzed, I'm so embarrassed. God. Uh, July 22nd, Leicester Square Theatre in London, and then I do Chicago, September 18th and 19th, and then Shart Lake titties in Pootat, Wise Guys, and then Jew Orleans.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Lost, Lost Louisiana, I was gonna say Los Angeles, but that's not where that is.

• 6:24Speaker 02

  Jew Orleans.

• 6:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Jew Orleans at the Mardi Gras World is part of, uh,

• 6:28Speaker 02

  Legion of Skanks?

• 6:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. Skank Fest, dude, are you doing it?

• 6:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Shut the fuck up, bro.

• 6:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm doing it. Me and Metzger, I think, are gonna do a Mystery Boys, live.

• 6:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, your show, by the way, if y'all aren't on fucking Mystery Boys, get your life, get your life. It's so, it's crushing, it's so good.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, thanks, it's here, it's YMH, it's like, it's incredible.

• 6:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's a fit.

• 6:51Speaker 02

  It's a fit.

• 6:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's a fit. Where's, where's the get your life?

• 6:55Speaker 02

  What?

• 6:55Speaker 05

  Gotta be in the black folder.

• 6:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Black women? You gotta get your life. Well, no, I gotta, here it is.

• 7:01Speaker 06

  Get your life.

• 7:04Speaker 02

  Get your what?

• 7:05Speaker 06

  Get your life.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  Get your life?

• 7:07Speaker 06

  Get your life.

• 7:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  You gotta get your life. If you don't know, if you don't know the Mystery Boys podcast.

• 7:15Speaker 02

  Get your life.

• 7:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's what I mean. Um, okay, so wait, unplug those live dates. Duncan, what, what dates do you have coming up that you wanna bu- bu- plug?

• 7:23Speaker 02

  I'm gonna bu- plug the, um, I think I, did I, what, can you, do you have the da- I don't, my brain is gone.

• 7:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Put your dick in a fan.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go put my dick in the fan. I'm gonna be doing live performance art, it's just me putting my dick in a fan, over and over.

• 7:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  You would sell so many tickets.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Way more tickets than I'm selling now. Way more. All of a sudden, my day, he's just like, what did you do? You doing some kind of new pro? No, I just, I decided to just publicly start putting my cock in a fan for an hour, and just sold out immediately.

• 7:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Seriously, that's, that's the essence of showbiz.

• 7:58Speaker 02

  All the years of working on jokes, no, I just, the whole time, all I could've done was publicly shove my cock in different kinds of fans. Uh, I'm gonna-

• 8:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  I would watch that tour, the shove my dick in the fan tour. Why don't you rename it? You gotta rename your tour. Branding, bro.

• 8:16Speaker 02

  You know what you could call that tour?

• 8:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  What?

• 8:18Speaker 02

  The Cristalia Tour.

• 8:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Did he put his dick in the fan?

• 8:22Speaker 02

  He put his dick in lots of fans.

• 8:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow, what a banger.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 8:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Talent Duncan Trussell.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Thank you so much, thank you.

• 8:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  God damn, that was funny.

• 8:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm the roast master. I love to roast. It's my favorite thing, roasting.

• 8:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's what you're know-

• 8:44Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, everyone knows me for my great roasts.

• 8:48Speaker 02

  Boy, you better watch out when I roast ya. I'll get ya.

• 8:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Zing.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Uh, June 25th, June 26th, June, June 25th to the 26th, that's actually two days, I don't know if you say two that, two days. Anyway, I'm gonna be in Nashville, uh, getting my dick massacred and at Zany's Comedy Night Club. And, cause I have a special fan I haven't used yet. Sharpened blades.

• 9:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm gonna pee.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  Sharpened blades.

• 9:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh my god, please, please.

• 9:18Speaker 02

  And then, of course, I'll be at the Wilbur, June 27th.

• 9:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  You guys, Boston, massive huge tits, that's a great venue.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  I love the Wilbur.

• 9:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  You guys, he's gonna bring out a bigger fan.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, alright, I don't wanna give it away. Spoiler, it's a, it's actually a boat propeller, which to me is a fan. It's basically a fan.

• 9:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's fucking amazing.

• 9:40Speaker 02

  I know, it's gonna be brutal though, it hurts a lot, dude, it's, it hurts. I gotta have to get stitches after the show.

• 9:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, but you'll make enough money to offset the cost of the, the ER trip.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, we, you know, we got all these kids now.

• 9:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Cost benefit, yeah, that's another thing.

• 9:56Speaker 02

  I just don't want any more kids.

• 9:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  You guys, you guys, homeboys got, how many kids you have now?

• 10:02Speaker 02

  Four.

• 10:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  You guys, buy tickets to see the goddamn show.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  Please.

• 10:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  What are you doing?

• 10:05Speaker 02

  Please.

• 10:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Help Duncan Trussell, support his family.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  And if, if you happen to be at the show where I, where I successfully dismember my cock, we, we will do a raffle and one person in the audience will take my cock home.

• 10:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  You heard it here first. That's a YMH exclusive.

• 10:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  He said it. It's gonna happen.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  Come on out.

• 10:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  All right. You know what? Let's get the show started. I feel like you and I are lightning in a bottle today.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  It feels good.

• 10:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Do you feel aroused yet? Cause, hold on.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  I'm always at kind of like a high level state of arousal. How gross. I'm always, uh, turned on. That's awful. What an awful person.

• 10:51Speaker 02

  God, all the time.

• 10:54Speaker 07

  Flash your lady.

• 10:57Speaker 07

  And then tell her, I hope this made your day. Cause I'm looking forward to you making my day. When you do the same thing.

• 11:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm gonna puke. Hold on. I can't.

• 11:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, here's the thing.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  Dude.

• 11:24Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 11:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. Dude, there's so much there.

• 11:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Meow, meow, meow.

• 11:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

• 11:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  There you go. Meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, feel it in your jeans. Pull them all the way up. There you go. Are your jeans tight?

• 11:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Good.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  Cause I have a hernia.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  It hurts. It pushes into my hernia.

• 12:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  You like it though?

• 12:06Speaker 02

  It leaves, I, I, it's something about it is sensual.

• 12:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sensual. Can I tell you that I know a lady, a gal, who only wears thong underwear. And that's literally what that is, is a piece of fabric running against your B-hole.

• 12:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  And she's had two kids, so like she's got hemorrhoids probably just like I do.

• 12:28Speaker 02

  Sure, of course.

• 12:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  What do you think's happening there?

• 12:30Speaker 02

  To the hemorrhoids?

• 12:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, just like psychologically in her life.

• 12:34Speaker 02

  That she's wearing a thong?

• 12:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  You know, the, the thong phenomena.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  Is really curious, isn't it? Cause it's like, you've got essentially a cord, right? That's what it is. It's like just a rubbing against your, it's a cord.

• 12:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  It literally is taking like a piece of rope and being like, let me rub it against.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  My butt.

• 12:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  And my vagina. But sometimes I wanna move, I wanna bend over and then the bacteria from my ass will go into my vagina.

• 13:03Speaker 02

  I would guess that the back, for the bacteria in your asshole, the thong is a kind of super highway that you can travel down into the pussy. It has to be, right? I, maybe some scientists out there could, but it would spread theoretically like it. So, so yeah, if you're wearing a thong, you're for sure, your ass bacteria, it's like the equivalent of the Silk Road. It's like this Silk Road that changed history where they started shipping. It's like seafare. It's, it's a gift, but I guess it's all underwear. I mean, I, you know, I don't have anything against thongs. It's just, it seems like you're, you're trying to say, look, I wanna show my butthole. I mean, my butt. It's a way to show your butt.

• 13:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  I, I agree because I wear a full flavored cotton breathable chonies. Cause I am, I'm 50. When, when am I, who, who, who am I fucking impressing? But does it make my butt look great? No, no.

• 13:58Speaker 02

  Right.

• 13:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  But then it's like the sacrifice of vanity versus vaginal infections. You really got it, but maybe she doesn't get vaginal infections.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  Maybe not. Maybe she sterilizes the thong before she puts it on.

• 14:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Or maybe she's, cause she's done it her whole life. Like maybe her.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  Callus, callus butt, thong calluses. Yeah, I, I don't know. I've never put much thought into the like.

• 14:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, it's time to start thinking, isn't it?

• 14:24Speaker 02

  I'm sorry. I'm, it's, it's one of those things that passes you by.

• 14:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's time to put thought to important topics.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  Oh my God, yeah. I, I don't know. I need to think about this stuff more.

• 14:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, Phil, let's talk about the horny cowboy first of all. Sorry.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, let's get into him.

• 14:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Carl, hot Carl.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  Is that his name?

• 14:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's Carl, right?

• 14:45Speaker 02

  Kurt.

• 14:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh Kurt.

• 14:46Speaker 02

  Kurt. That dude's name is Kurt. Is his last name available?

• 14:52Speaker 02

  I don't want to dox him or anything, but have you seen the new Cape Fear?

• 14:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Not yet. Is it good?

• 14:57Speaker 02

  It's great. It's great. But like, imagine that is Max Cady. Like, that's the-

• 15:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's the guy!

• 15:04Speaker 02

  That's the guy who stalks you. Just this-

• 15:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yo.

• 15:08Speaker 02

  Yo. Because that is a scary man.

• 15:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Duncan, you're 100% right. It's not the one that outwardly looks like the psycho. It's the guy like this. It's like, well, I'm just a nice guy. I'm just trying to-

• 15:19Speaker 02

  What's weird about this? Just trying to flash my wife and my lady and get her to flash me back? It makes me, but it's, but the look in his, the thing that's always freaked me out about his work, his body of work, is that he's got a kind of clarity in his eyes that I don't like. You know what I mean? He's somehow really all there. He's super focused. He's got this-

• 15:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, but you know what that means is that, that he's just really this horny. Like, he's just so, oh, look at Happy Taco Tuesday.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 15:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, dude. It's pinned. He liked it so much, he pinned it.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  Ahhh, she's gonna shit on his face!

• 16:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Ahhh.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  That is, well, and then, wow.

• 16:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, that is so gnarly.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  Look at that.

• 16:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Now, let me ask you this. Do you think he's so, and he's, he's married, right?

• 16:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Is he just horny, or is it this chick that's arousing him this hard?

• 16:18Speaker 02

  Uh, I'm, okay, here's gonna be my guess.

• 16:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  My guess is that, you know, garden variety swingers, right? And, and they started posting, he started posting his weird stuff and he didn't expect it to take off. And then suddenly it takes off. Now they're locked into being eternally horny. Like, he can't post, he can't come on there and post like, "My mother passed away."

• 16:41Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Every-

• 16:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's his identity now.

• 16:43Speaker 02

  Yes!

• 16:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Because it gets him traction.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why aren't you following him, dude? What's up? Fucking Ian Fydats follows him.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 16:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Kyle Duncan.

• 16:53Speaker 02

  Kyle Duncan. Every, every comic follows him!

• 16:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  This guy's the best, dude. Howie Mandel follows him!

• 17:02Speaker 02

  Howie Mandel follows him! That is so cool!

• 17:07Speaker 02

  See all followers. Let's see, Obama, the Clintons.

• 17:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's in a secret cabal of leadership. What if he's tied into the Obamas?

• 17:19Speaker 02

  Welcome to the Mystery Boys. I'm Kermit Zrez Whiteclawsus, Dunston Trudeau. We're here to gape your fourth eye.

• 17:28Speaker 02

  Free Eye Atlas. JFK's doctor. Hamas. Hitler's doctor. MK Ultra. Drina Crum. Elsa Crowley. You ain't heard the Mystery Boys get the bottom.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  I didn't see one dick in those catacombs and I looked everywhere. Well, this is the show, guys. I hope that your mom's house is happy.

• 17:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Anyone else ever had a thought that's so out of left field? And no matter what you go to distract or logic your way out of it, it just keeps coming back. Here's the thing a lot of people don't know. That thought loop might actually be OCD. Not the, I like things to be clean kind, like real OCD involves intrusive, unwanted thoughts that cause genuine distress, along with mental or physical behaviors you feel driven to do to get relief. And it can attach itself to anything, your relationships, your identity, your deepest fears about who you are. But it doesn't have to be that way because OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy. OCD needs ERP or Exposure and Response Prevention.

• 18:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  And that's where NOCD comes in. NOCD is the world's largest provider of OCD treatment and it's covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. All their licensed therapists specialize in ERP and will help you learn to take the power away from intrusive thoughts through virtual or face-to-face sessions. If any of this sounds familiar, visit nocd.com to book a free 15-minute call. That's N-O-C-D dot com. If you ever find yourself feeling nostalgic for the cereal you grew up eating while watching cartoons on a Saturday morning, you've got to listen up. Magic Spoon is here to satisfy your cravings with the same great taste and without the

• 19:17Christina Pazsitzky?

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• 19:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  They're packed with protein and taste like the nostalgic toaster pastries you grew up with, but without all the sugar. You can get $5 off your next order, including the protein pastries at magicspoon.com/ymh. That's magicspoon.com/ymh for $5 off. Dude, I think you're right. He's a swinger. His beard has gotten darker. He's definitely dying his beard.

• 20:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's okay.

• 20:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's okay. It's a little jarring at first. He's so horny.

• 20:29Speaker 02

  Can we scroll down? I just want to see if there's any, anything he says that isn't this like crazed.

• 20:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, he's lifting his weight. He's got to show you he's lifting weight.

• 20:44Speaker 02

  Ah, very inspirational.

• 20:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Look at what Matt Daily19 asks.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  Oh, are you Christian?

• 20:55Speaker 02

  That's your question?

• 20:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Who cares?

• 20:58Speaker 02

  That dude is like, he's like the groundskeeper at Zoro Ranch, like Epstein's ranch.

• 21:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  For sure. Look, that other guy said, "Still waiting for the hog reveal."

• 21:12Speaker 02

  Hail Satan X99X, "Still waiting for that hog reveal. You've been torturing me for years, man. When do I get to finally see that hog?" And then right underneath it, "Are you Christian?"

• 21:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's such a dichotomy.

• 21:27Speaker 02

  It is. The light and dark right next to each other, right there.

• 21:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like, if he is a Christian, it's okay?

• 21:34Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 21:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is amazing.

• 21:37Speaker 02

  Let's look at the reply from, because did he write back to hail Satan 999? Ah, he wrote back, didn't we have a hog reveal on April 1st? The video is still posted.

• 21:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  What? Get in there immediately.

• 21:50Speaker 02

  Laughing emoji.

• 21:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  What are you doing?

• 21:52Speaker 02

  We got a hog reveal, April 1st, let's get down.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  Where's that hog reveal? There's no way, you can't show his hog.

• 22:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, he probably has a joke, it's probably like a pig. And he's like, huh huh, see, you guys wanna see my hog? Like, that's what these idiots think is, is like, real funny.

• 22:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's gonna be a pig.

• 22:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 22:12Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 22:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Ew, look at him and his gross.

• 22:16Speaker 02

  Here we go, I need to watch this.

• 22:17Speaker 07

  Is to start by running your hand up the back of her head.

• 22:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fuck off.

• 22:22Speaker 07

  And gripping her hair.

• 22:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, I'm gonna fuckin' frog.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 22:26Speaker 07

  And then run your hands down the side of her face.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 22:30Speaker 07

  Her chin.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  Okay, okay, got it, I got it.

• 22:32Speaker 07

  Raise your chin and lean in just a little bit.

• 22:34Speaker 02

  Okay, how much?

• 22:35Speaker 07

  Best way to stimulate her sexual nervous system.

• 22:38Speaker 02

  What the fuck?

• 22:39Speaker 07

  Just start by running your hand.

• 22:43Speaker 07

  Kristen has given her permission for a hog reveal.

• 22:47Speaker 02

  Hog reveal!

• 22:50Speaker 06

  April 4th.

• 22:52Speaker 02

  They got us!

• 22:53Speaker 07

  Kristen has given her permission.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  They got us! They got us! Oh, that Satanist was like, what the fuck? He had the, he had the lube out, he was like, finally a hog reveal.

• 23:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  And you know what, too, you're absolutely right, it's swinger, because he's using that lingo of like, Kristen gave me permission. Like, they have to talk about, I mean, look, I understand the, the allure of being a swinger. I get it, I totally do. I think the non-stop communication with your partner would make me insane. And like, is it really worth it if you have to discuss every fucking feeling you have?

• 23:31Speaker 02

  It's horrible.

• 23:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, I would hate it.

• 23:33Speaker 02

  It's a hell situation. Orgies?

• 23:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  I've never done one, tell me.

• 23:37Speaker 02

  Can you imagine how fucked up, I've never done an orgy?

• 23:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'd like to.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  You would do an orgy?

• 23:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Absolutely.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  Oh, god.

• 23:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Absolutely. That's one of my, I would love to.

• 23:46Speaker 02

  Dude, I, I, I would do it if like, I would do it if I could get like Kumail Nanjiani's trainer and fucking... And whatever that shit is like.

• 23:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's in great shape.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  If I could get like that, but it like, you know what I mean? Having to like, look around it, no doubt. Like, like, everybody's gonna be in better shape than me. I'm gonna come within three seconds.

• 24:10Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 24:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  He looks great.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  Imagine being in a.

• 24:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  He really does.

• 24:12Speaker 02

  Being in an orgy and Nan Gianni walks in, just starts banging.

• 24:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, but here's the thing Duncan is like, you're not gonna do it in a brightly well lit place. Like, you're gonna be fucking ripped in half, bro. Like, you're gonna be high as fuck.

• 24:24Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 24:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's gonna be dark and you're not gonna care.

• 24:28Speaker 02

  I'm gonna care. I'm gonna care. No, for real. I, I, this is not anyone else's problem. Like, I guess I shouldn't like, shit on orgies because it's.

• 24:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  You can, you can shit on whatever you want.

• 24:39Speaker 02

  But it's just, you know, the orgy dome at Burning Man, I could've.

• 24:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, yeah, I forgot.

• 24:43Speaker 02

  I could've gone there. I didn't go.

• 24:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Here's my problem with sexual activity at Burning Man. I've been there one time. Just, I, I did a TV show there.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  Wow, I didn't know that.

• 24:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, a long time ago. And I remember there was like, an omelet for orgasms tent and, and like, girls were getting eaten out or whatever. And here's the deal is that, it's so dirty at Burning Man. Like, there's no showering. Like, the hose truck comes by and hoses people down. There's no way to piss and shit in dignity. You have to go and.

• 25:14Speaker 02

  To go to the porta john.

• 25:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, it's not sanitary.

• 25:17Speaker 02

  No one's ever said that. It's filthy. You're using wet wipes to clean your body out there in the dust, like.

• 25:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's disgusting.

• 25:24Speaker 02

  It's very disgusting.

• 25:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  But as that, as a lady, like, if I had an orgy, I would STD test everybody. Like, I want everybody's stuff.

• 25:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  And then everyone gets showered thoroughly cleaned.

• 25:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like, I want like.

• 25:38Speaker 02

  Hire a bather.

• 25:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  Like, when you go to those, like, spas where they, have you ever been to those spas where they scrub you down? Get it, like, Korean spa, scrub everyone down, test their, test what's going on and then bang.

• 25:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  And then bang, yeah.

• 25:51Speaker 02

  But how, how, it's just, it's just, how long does it go on for? Like, doesn't it just get old?

• 25:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Five minutes. It's like trying to watch an entire porn. There's no way.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  No way. So your orgy's like five minutes, except for like, people like the horny cowboy. Who's gonna be fucking all night. He's not gonna stop. It's gonna be him and like two others. You know what I mean? You're ready to go to bed. You're done. You came, you're coming down. You're just like, I wanna go to bed. And this guy's like, ah, you know, this technique, Tantra technique. Put two fingers in your lady's nostrils and pull her towards you, smearing your jizz in her eyes.

• 26:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Tantra. There's no bigger nightmare for me than that. I mean, I don't know. I, I, I can't imagine.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  Me either.

• 26:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  I can't. Maybe I'm uncomfortable with my own sexual, probably. I'm sure, you know, I'm, I'm way too traumatized.

• 26:42Speaker 02

  Me too. Me too.

• 26:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, really?

• 26:45Speaker 02

  Oh, my God. I mean, this is, I'll do, I'll do a reveal that I've never talked about.

• 26:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, okay, go ahead.

• 26:50Speaker 02

  So, you know, um, when, when I first came to LA, I had to make money. And so I, I became a prostitute, a sex worker. They didn't say that back then. They called us hoes. And so like, I had a pimp and I had to like, you know, and you can't, when you're a, what they're calling a sex worker now, but when you're a hoe and you're, you're called up and like, hey, go fuck this lady. Weirdly, it was always ladies, never once a dude, never once a dude. And I was always banging these ladies up in the Hollywood hills.

• 27:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  And it broke my heart.

• 27:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  It did?

• 27:29Speaker 02

  I was used.

• 27:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, used and abused.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  Like, once I remember going to, I haven't even told this to Aaron, but I, I remember going up to like, an entire, it was like a gymnasium filled with these like elite models. And they, what they did to me that night.

• 27:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Traumatized.

• 27:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I have trauma, PTSD, so I can't do an orgy.

• 27:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  You are lucky that you never got called to do a dude. Like, that's.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  Never once.

• 27:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Just like a hot, young.

• 27:55Speaker 02

  I would have loved it.

• 27:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 27:59Speaker 02

  I was always excited, just if one dude, just one, can I get one guy?

• 28:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  Do you know how quick, like, how efficient of a sex worker you would be if you only did men? Like, guys probably know how to make another guy

• 28:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  begock in like, two seconds. Your business would be, dude, you could, you could crank so many dicks in like, an hour. If you, if you routed it correctly in LA, if you're like, hey, I'm in the west side, fucking four o'clock on a Friday, you could

• 28:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Jack, five minutes, this guy's house, five minutes, five minutes, five minutes.

• 28:32Speaker 02

  Wow. Though I guess that's like, you know, if you're, that's what we need is like an Uber for

• 28:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude.

• 28:39Speaker 02

  sex workers.

• 28:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is a great idea.

• 28:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. You know, I, I don't, if you had to guess, though, like, if you had to guess, how many, like, male heterosexual sex workers are there? Like, how many dudes are out there making a living, like, getting paid by women to fuck the women?

• 28:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, 0.01.

• 29:00Speaker 02

  There's a few, right, but it's not many.

• 29:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  There's no such thing.

• 29:03Speaker 02

  There's no such thing. It's not real.

• 29:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  There was that TV show, Jigalos, that we were really into, was it on HBO or Showtime? And they claimed to be heterosexual male prostitutes. And like, yeah, but you could tell it was so produced, because it would be like, I don't know, like, rare. Like, maybe occasionally the Office Kathy, you know what I mean?

• 29:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Who's like, I just wanted to do this for my, treat myself for my birthday. And you're like, okay.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  But you know, I mean, obviously, there's that, like, what's it called? The strip, the strip show in Vegas.

• 29:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, yeah. But what's it called? Beef, Beef Cowboy or something?

• 29:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, Beef Cowboys. But for cowboy beef, but for sure, those guys probably sell their ass, right? Like, after a show.

• 29:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  For sure.

• 29:53Speaker 02

  So that's the 0.001% is definitely like, after the show, they

• 29:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  See, because I think married women, or women in general, would feel comfortable being in gaggles of other women ogling young dudes. That, there's a safety to that.

• 30:06Speaker 02

  Right.

• 30:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Because you know there's not going to be a boundary crossed.

• 30:08Speaker 02

  Right.

• 30:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, but actual, I don't know, dude, the thunder

• 30:12Speaker 02

  From down under.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  If you really want to show your lady how much you love her, get her tickets to Thunder from Down Under.

• 30:21Christina Pazsitzky?

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• 31:05Christina Pazsitzky?

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• 31:47Christina Pazsitzky?

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• 32:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's hims.com/ymh for your free online visit. Hems.com/ymh. Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil and finasteride. It's just gay to see dudes. First of all, they look kinda gay already. And then when they dance, it's not hot. When they dance like strippers do, like, I don't know, dude. That, you know, it's not hot. Oh, this shit's so fucking gay.

• 33:03Speaker 02

  It is gay.

• 33:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean, it's gay as fuck.

• 33:05Speaker 02

  It's gay.

• 33:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, it's, look at that fucking cowboy. Dude, the cowboys, I'd rather see a real cowboy, like a real guy from Texas. The guy that comes to your house to fix your air conditioning?

• 33:16Speaker 02

  Right.

• 33:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  When he takes his boots off on your front porch?

• 33:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's arousing. You're like, oh, this guy's a real fucking cowboy.

• 33:22Speaker 02

  Wow, that's an actual cowboy versus that. Well, look, it's an abomination. We live in the world of Satan and everything's collapsing.

• 33:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  Enough said. Speaking of, uh, hold on. How do you feel about this guy? Maybe he's more your speed.

• 33:42Speaker 03

  The world is mine. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Who says the devil doesn't drink happiness?

• 33:58Speaker 02

  You know what? You know what really fucks that up? That whole thing is the exit sign. You know what I mean? Cause he's trying to give the impression he's in his little blood grotto. And then you see that green exit sign. What does that say?

• 34:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Where the fuck is this?

• 34:13Speaker 02

  What does that say?

• 34:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can you?

• 34:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, look at his face. He's really silent.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  Oh, he's evil. That guy's real evil.

• 34:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  And for somebody, his body's not great. He's really letting it rip.

• 34:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's at peace with his body at least.

• 34:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 34:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  This has to be where in Romania? Okay, here we go. Upload Instagram under the handle. A short reel of a weirdo. Here's the description.

• 34:43Speaker 02

  What is it? What's the description?

• 34:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is what the staff writes, ready?

• 34:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  A short reel of a weirdo and his Dracula ass Gothic pool. Exact location unknown.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  Well, it's some kind of stupid hotel. Like, it's a dumb tourist hotel. It's not real blood.

• 35:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  What?

• 35:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't mean to. Look, I don't mean to do this. I don't mean to be a debunker. But if I had to guess, the weirdo is not in real blood. He's at some garbage goth theme hotel. And probably when he got in the pool and started doing that shit, everyone who was there left because they're like, get the fuck out. He's out of his mind.

• 35:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  To me, it just looks like he got his period.

• 35:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's period blood.

• 35:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Nightmare.

• 35:30Speaker 02

  It's horrible.

• 35:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  It sucks.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  But this is not. Wait, oh, here. What'd he say?

• 35:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 35:35Speaker 02

  You're right. It's a hotel in Turkey called the Garden of Tombs.

• 35:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, boy.

• 35:39Speaker 02

  But that still doesn't explain all the wild symbolism throughout the place.

• 35:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Doesn't explain it.

• 35:43Speaker 02

  Oh, boy. But we really want to know what it is. Oh, with his stupid candle.

• 35:51Speaker 02

  Get the fuck out of here. You're not the vampire Lestat.

• 35:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's no Lestat.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  You're no fucking Lestat, you piece of shit.

• 35:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, a vampire. Listen, I'm into this shit heavy. Okay, if I'm gonna be honest, I'm a goth. I fucking love this stuff. I'm gonna go here. This is the Garden of Tombs in Turkey.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would love it.

• 36:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  I would love it to pieces. He is no vampire, sir. You're not doing a good job.

• 36:12Speaker 02

  Not a vampire.

• 36:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, you don't walk around. Lestat would never walk around in wet boxer shorts clinging to his little cock, right? You'd never see Lestat doing that.

• 36:22Speaker 02

  Lestat would at least pull his shorts down. But he would be mortified. Like, this guy.

• 36:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Or go nude. I feel like Lestat's got a good body.

• 36:30Speaker 02

  Lestat would go nude and levitate out of there.

• 36:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

• 36:35Speaker 02

  Lestat wouldn't wear those shitty fucking Spencer's gifts.

• 36:40Speaker 02

  Rings.

• 36:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  See, exactly. This is why it doesn't work.

• 36:44Speaker 02

  It doesn't work.

• 36:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  If he were more vampire vampiric.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'd be, I'd be like, yeah, dude.

• 36:50Speaker 02

  That's cool.

• 36:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes, this is this, this guy has it dialed in. He didn't take it seriously enough. It feels like he's a weekender is what we used to call goths that

• 36:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  were only weekend goths, like not full time. Like this guy's going to Hot Topic.

• 37:03Speaker 02

  Day Tripper.

• 37:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 37:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is bullshit.

• 37:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  And I don't even, but you know, and I think it'd be fun to go there, but like real goths, they're like in the catacombs of Paris. Like, you know, you want to find the real vampires. They're out there, but there's no way they're getting sucked into some bullshit tourist attraction tomb of bullshit thing. No one can, it's so embarrassing.

• 37:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm so embarrassed. As a goth, I'm very embarrassed.

• 37:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, I don't think that, you know, I don't think you should be embarrassed because everyone who looks at that knows this is the most.

• 37:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, he's representing my community.

• 37:36Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 37:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  And this is why I'm like, I don't want everybody to think that this is, this is my community. You know what I mean? As a goth.

• 37:42Speaker 02

  Right. I don't think people, I don't look at him and I don't, I don't think goth at all, at all.

• 37:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Um. Before.

• 37:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay. I was on an airplane going to Brea this weekend or last weekend, wherever the fuck it was. And, um, dude, I saw like grown men, like a lot of grown men with backpacks, which is fine, but the charm, you know, you've seen these fools with like the charms attached to a backpack.

• 38:12Speaker 02

  The La Boo Boo's.

• 38:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Is that what that is?

• 38:14Speaker 02

  Well, it's, it's part of the thing is you put a La Boo Boo on your backpack and it's not, I, I have to say this. I do have a backpack, but I put it on my suitcase. I don't, I don't carry it on my, unless I absolutely have to, I don't carry it on my back. And the reason I don't do that is because these fuckers with their backpacks. When they go on the plane, they slam into your ass with their stupid. So you get a greasy Comic Con jizz crusted LaBubu rubbing into your faces. They're like turning around with their backpacks. Their LaBubus jangling. No, no. It is completely, absolutely unacceptable across the board.

• 38:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's unacceptable. Okay, so that's the LaBubu. I know I've heard the word, but I couldn't imagine an adult male heterosexual doing this. Is this in the heterosexual male community?

• 39:04Speaker 02

  No, it's, I think it's like the deep nerd community. It's like, you know what I mean? It's, it's you're, you're wearing a Roblox shirt. You're in your 40s. You got LaBubus on your fucking backpack. You're pasty and sick. These are the people who like lay down on the floor of the airport. They'll lay, they'll lay you like that. Yeah.

• 39:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yo, ask someone that's done that. Like I've been trapped overnight in airports as a, as a younger comic. I've done it. We've all done it.

• 39:31Speaker 02

  I have too.

• 39:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  But it's so vile now as an adult. I'm like, oh my God. That's how you get AIDS and all the fucking diseases, dude.

• 39:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's so dirty.

• 39:41Speaker 02

  It's so nasty.

• 39:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  You think they ever steam clean those airport carpets?

• 39:45Speaker 02

  No.

• 39:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Not once.

• 39:46Speaker 02

  No, and, and it's the, the, the way you understand why you shouldn't lay on the carpet of an airport is go into the airport bathroom. The guys bathrooms, it's just guys just piss all over the floor. They don't even try to piss in the urinal. So it's just in, in front of the urinals inevitably is like a, almost a creek, like a creek of piss. Cause guys are, there's, everyone's stressed out, so they piss on the floor.

• 40:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Stressed out. You think it's the, the travel?

• 40:12Speaker 02

  It's stress piss. They're like, you know, they're freaking out. Their benzos haven't kicked in yet or kicked in too much and they piss next to the urinal. And then all the piss gets on their shoes. And then they walk through the airport. And so every square inch of airport carpet is covered in piss.

• 40:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  And then the little babies, those poor little babies are wa, and you're like, put fuck, don't let your baby crawl on the fucking floor.

• 40:34Speaker 02

  No.

• 40:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, you know what's interesting about, now that you say that, the stress piss? Dude, you just blew my mind.

• 40:39Speaker 02

  Stress piss.

• 40:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Bro, I just had a fucking epiphany like 50 years of life. I didn't fucking put two and two together, why the ladies room always smells like hot diarrhea.

• 40:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  People are stressed, stress shitting.

• 40:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Cause I was like, most ladies rooms don't smell this bad.

• 40:57Speaker 02

  Oh dude.

• 40:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  But like an airport toilet?

• 40:59Speaker 02

  Dude.

• 41:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's a, it is hell on earth.

• 41:01Speaker 02

  And you see these like waves of like, you know, um, one of my kids told me, I didn't know this. Apparently like when monkeys, when one monkey pisses, it triggers like the yawn response in humans. They all start pissing. And so some stress shit pheromone gets released from some dude. And spreads to the airport. And then you get these lines of people who need to take a stress shit. And the bathroom is just filling with just the rancid stink.

• 41:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's.

• 41:31Speaker 02

  It's so bad.

• 41:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Horrific.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  Airports are nasty.

• 41:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  And by, as somebody, oh, this is a hot tip if you're, if you're a traveler. Um, I'm exclusively a Washlet user, a Toto Washlet.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  What is that?

• 41:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, well, you've shit at my house, haven't you?

• 41:48Speaker 02

  No.

• 41:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  What are you talking about?

• 41:49Speaker 02

  I've used the bathroom. I haven't shit in your house yet.

• 41:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, what do you?

• 41:52Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 41:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Are we even friends?

• 41:54Speaker 02

  We, I just, I haven't had to shit there yet.

• 41:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, well, come over.

• 41:57Speaker 02

  I'll shit, I'll come over and shit at your house. I kinda have to shit now. Thank you. Happy to shit at you.

• 42:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  And then come over and shit in my house. Uh, we have a, the spray, it's a spray, like a bidet. And it sprays water onto your asshole so that you're not mushing, uh, filthy shit. You know what I mean?

• 42:16Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 42:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Taking toilet paper and mashing the shit into your ass.

• 42:19Speaker 02

  Bidets are the best thing ever.

• 42:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, so, so when I use the airport toilet, I can't, there's no bidet there.

• 42:27Speaker 02

  You could, you would, shouldn't use a bidet at an airport toilet.

• 42:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, but you know what I have figured out? I buy the wipes and fuck the airport's plumbing. I don't care if I clog up their toilets.

• 42:38Speaker 02

  Right, no.

• 42:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Or the hotel that I'm staying in.

• 42:41Speaker 02

  Nope.

• 42:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'll, I'll fuck up their plumbing too.

• 42:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 42:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  If you don't have a Washlet for me, like, here you go asshole. Why didn't you think about that for me?

• 42:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. I think it's, number one, I'm guessing like whatever plumbing they use at airports is the same shit they use on like Elon Musk rockets. Right, like they. God only knows what's getting flushed through those pipes every day.

• 43:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh my God, like drug mules that have changed their mind?

• 43:06Speaker 02

  Glass eyes, fingers, like sternums, ground up bones, ashes. I'm sure more than a few people's ashes have just been dumped. You're taking your ashes and you're like, I can't do it anymore. Just dump it in the toilet. We're not going to scatter that around Disney.

• 43:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh my God, of course.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, just medical waste.

• 43:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 43:27Speaker 02

  No tell.

• 43:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  So I went on my kid's field trip to the garbage dump here in Austin. Yeah, see, I didn't think it would be exciting until I started talking to the dudes that worked at the garbage dump. Do you know how many severed heads they find? A lot.

• 43:43Speaker 02

  How many?

• 43:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's like one a quarter. There's a severed head or a limb and yo, they'll find like the arm at this dump. And then they'll report to the police and then they'll find like the guy's leg or the woman's leg probably in another dump in a different district. So whoever it is puts it in different trash cans in different areas.

• 44:03Speaker 02

  Just scatters it around to disperse it. That is so, it's, it's so, there's something, I, I mean, obviously murder or dismemberment, it's evil and bad. But you do have to respect the amount of work murderers put into that, their craft.

• 44:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 44:19Speaker 02

  Cause like I'm, you know, I'm so lazy. I feel like, you know, like the idea of going to a bunch of different dumpsters and I'm always impressed with that. Like that level of, of, um, of, like that, that rapper, remember, what's that dude's name? Who like killed his, apparently killed his girlfriend. You know what I'm talking about?

• 44:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Which one?

• 44:40Speaker 02

  It's some singer. They found, he was dating an underage girl and they found her body in the back of his Tesla. But he'd only like started dismembering the body and then kind of was like, I'm not doing this. And then just left.

• 44:53Tom Segura?

  David in the Tesla?

• 44:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's him.

• 44:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, it's kind of.

• 44:58Speaker 02

  V4VD.

• 44:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think people underestimate how hard it is to saw through a, a body, like bones and shit.

• 45:06Speaker 02

  Is it hard?

• 45:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's what I've heard.

• 45:07Speaker 02

  If you have a surgical saw, I can't be, it's probably not.

• 45:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Where do you get a surgical saw from? Where does one a quarter?

• 45:12Speaker 02

  Amazon. Look up surgical saw on Amazon. I guarantee you could get everything you need to dispose of a body on Amazon. No prob, they write a list. There you go, 17 bucks, no problem.

• 45:26Speaker 02

  Easy, 70 bucks. Now, okay, surgical saw. What else are you gonna need?

• 45:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  A bag. A bag. But the special kind of bag that can handle decomposing parts and the gases and the juices, medical waste.

• 45:39Speaker 02

  Medical waste bags. Extra sturdy medical waste bags.

• 45:50Speaker 02

  There you go. No problem. No problem.

• 45:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, hold on. What about lime? When you spray that on the body?

• 45:57Speaker 02

  Lime. Yeah, something that like, I bet you could just use glade, though. But let's look up lime.

• 46:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Glade.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  Lime.

• 46:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  Glade.

• 46:06Speaker 02

  There you go. There you go. Fast acting lime. They got everything you need to dispose of a body. Well, this is amazing. What else? So we got the bags, we got the lime. We got the saw.

• 46:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Holy, I mean, you legit hydrated lime. Leg- like.

• 46:24Speaker 02

  I mean, and then obvious, you can obviously get all the other stuff you're gonna need before the murder, right?

• 46:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  The problem with buying it on Amazon, though, is that it's so easily traced to you. Unless you send it to somebody, like an ex-boss that did you dirty, you can send it to their address, maybe?

• 46:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, you could send it to someone else's house. I mean, I'm sure they have all these things at Home Depot. Like, you just go to Home Depot. That's how a lot of people get busted, is Home Depot.

• 46:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right. That's the thing, is that how do you buy these things undetected?

• 46:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, you have to be very careful about it. It's interesting, like, what I've heard about manufacturing LSD, because all of the precursor materials to make LSD are also tracked. Like, if you're buying this or that, it probably means you're trying to make LSD. So people will like fly, like get different people to fly to different parts of the world and buy the separate materials and then bring them together, so.

• 47:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, what's in LSD? Will you look up? I'm curious. Now you got me curious.

• 47:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is great. Look up how to make LSD after we just looked up everything you need to dispose of a body. Like right now, there's some light blinking on an NSA agent's desk. Beep beep beep. What the fuck?

• 47:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Ah, larsialic acid diethylamide. I know that. Make it bigger. Come on, we're old. I had my eye exam. It's not good.

• 47:48Speaker 02

  Let's see, LSD is synthesized from larsialic acid, which is naturally extracted from ergot, a parasitic fungus that grows on grains like rye. While its precursor comes from a natural source, the drug itself is produced via chemical processing in a lab. How is it consumed? How it is? Come on.

• 48:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  We know that.

• 48:05Speaker 02

  Everybody knows that.

• 48:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, I didn't realize it was from a fungus.

• 48:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  I thought it was all like manmade weird.

• 48:13Speaker 02

  Isn't that cool?

• 48:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Timothy Leary created it or something.

• 48:15Speaker 02

  Well, Albert Hoffman did, but the, the, um.

• 48:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  I like that you know that offhand. You're like, Christina, it's Albert.

• 48:21Speaker 02

  Albert Hoffman. Pull up a picture of Albert Hoffman.

• 48:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Nobody knows that. Just don't.

• 48:25Speaker 02

  People know that. Albert Hoffman is like, ah.

• 48:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  He came up with this shit?

• 48:29Speaker 02

  This guy does not get enough credit, man. Look at him. This guy.

• 48:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  That guy?

• 48:35Speaker 02

  Cause we would not have LSD, probably if not for this guy who is doing, um, who is studying actually how to induce uterine contractions. They were looking for something that would, um, help women give birth. And so they tried this ergot derivative. And they apparently like, you know, they were testing on mice and the mice started acting weird because they were getting huge.

• 49:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Downloads from God?

• 49:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  They're like, what is the meaning of this?

• 49:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. They were fully like talking to Jesus and like, but I think he said they were walking backwards and their hair would stand. Cause you, the amount of acid they gave those poor mice, God only knows, because they didn't know how potent it was. And so they shelved the experiment, which it's Sandoz Laboratories. They're like, okay, like it makes, I mean, it makes mice do funny shit, but like it's not going to help pregnant ladies. And so then he had some intuition or something and he took it back out again. And, um, essentially like dosed himself and that's bicycle day, April 19th. That's what we celebrate.

• 49:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's real.

• 49:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's called Bicycle Day.

• 49:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  He dosed himself. Could you imagine though, dude? Like you, you're the first guy to drop acid alone. Like you don't even have like a partner to talk you down when you're like, what the fuck?

• 49:56Speaker 02

  You got it.

• 49:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I would freak out.

• 49:58Speaker 02

  He gave himself apparently somewhere around like 800 micrograms. And that is so, and this is fresh to the universe LSD. It's just existed. This is like Jesus tears. This is like, you know what I mean? This is like getting a drop of Christ tears off the cross. And they call it Bicycle Day. Cause he apparently was riding his bicycle home. And he looked down and he was flying over the mountains. And he thought to himself, well, I either have died. Or something at the laboratory is like this LSD is like.

• 50:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Banging.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  He gets home, losing his fucking mind. And remember, like, you know, anyone who's taken acid around hour six, hour seven. You're like, I just want to come down.

• 50:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 50:44Speaker 02

  And you know, you're going to come down. You, people will tell you it's nine hours, but you know, we have reference. Like it lasts maybe 12 hours at the most. He didn't know he was going to come down. His wife was giving him milk to try to help him. Cause that's what you give with for helping someone. So the last thing you want to drink on acid is like glasses of like warm milk, Swedish milk. So yeah, that's Bicycle Day.

• 51:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, that trip, I wonder if he even could relax and enjoy the journey. When you're that high and you have no idea when it's going to stop? Fuck dude. That's so awful.

• 51:22Speaker 02

  Outside of the mice, it has to be one of the worst trips in all of human history. To the point where when he found out the hippies were taking it recreationally, he was like, why? Like he had such a bad trip. Yeah. He was really confused. People were like, yeah, man, let's trip out. But it's because they knew that they would come down. But yeah, he's like, he's up there with Oppenheimer. He's up there with. Yeah. Cause think of how much acid changed the world.

• 51:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. Great music. A whole generation like did stuff.

• 51:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, I mean, like during, right, like the Vietnam era, right? You know, entire generation of people who dropped out of society and were like, fuck this. I'm not doing what my parents did.

• 52:04Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 52:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let's just go do a bunch of drugs and live on a commune and...

• 52:08Speaker 02

  Yep, the Unabomber.

• 52:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  The Unabomber.

• 52:10Speaker 02

  We got the Unabomber, they're in tests on him at Harvard.

• 52:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, they were doing MKUltra shit to Ted Kaczynski and they think, there's no proof they were giving him LSD, but they're, they were probably giving him LSD.

• 52:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes, isn't there stories about Manson too? And his clan, that the government was seeding them LSD.

• 52:28Speaker 02

  Just testing the hippies, the dirty hippies, just, they would come into like, the free clinic in San Francisco, I think.

• 52:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes, I read that in that book about Manson that just came out, Chaos.

• 52:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, but that's wild, that shit is crazy, but who cares? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? We could be in an experiment right now, right?

• 52:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, well, I'm sure we are, I'm sure it's already, fuck, no. But anyway, the point of the story is, I saw adult males with these LaBubu things and I was so confused. And then you came in and mentioned Disney adults. And, yeah, like, I just, I don't like the infantilization of like, men today. It's so fucking gross, dude. Like, they're so gross.

• 53:15Speaker 02

  It's a whole

• 53:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  I hate it.

• 53:17Speaker 02

  series of performative, it's like, in the old days, flashing, right? There was like a basic way you flash, right? These were the good old days, you get a trench coat and you flash. That's how you do it. Everyone knew you were a flasher.

• 53:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 53:32Speaker 02

  You're flashing, maybe you, like, streaking somehow became like a more acceptable form.

• 53:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, I like streaking, that's so fun.

• 53:39Speaker 02

  Which is just flashy, it's another form of flashing because it's athletic or something.

• 53:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sure.

• 53:43Speaker 02

  It's more accepted. But now there's these new forms of flashing, which is not necessarily showing your junk, but it's still going to a place you shouldn't be.

• 53:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  And in a performative way. Drawing all the attention to your ulcerated, pox-ridden, god-cursed body and acting like the fact that people don't want you there is a sign that society is collapsing.

• 54:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right. It's an inversion of the morality behind it too. We're the assholes, because we're like, not permitting these pedos to do their weird shit.

• 54:20Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 54:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  And now you're the dick, because you're not letting someone live their best life. The Disney adult.

• 54:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, oh, I'm sorry.

• 54:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Now, look at these grown men with these little dollies. I mean, this is...

• 54:29Speaker 02

  Did he just get his LaBooBoo? Look, I just, oh, yeah! I, oh, hey, look at your kid's babysitter. I would, I would give all of the money I had if, to keep my children away, if I knew there was a way. Like, look, look at this. He's got the LaBooBoo belt.

• 54:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't like this at all.

• 54:48Speaker 02

  No, he seems like he's gonna blow up, like, a mosque.

• 54:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't like any of this shit.

• 54:53Speaker 02

  Look at this dude hauling out his fucking LaBooBoo's.

• 54:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Look, I feel ashamed that I'm just late to this, this hatred party. I can't hate this more.

• 55:01Speaker 02

  Well, apparently they're putting microphones in LaBooBoo's. You know about that?

• 55:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, good. To find these creeps that are doing terrible things. Is that why?

• 55:09Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, I mean, I don't know why. It's like, there's, obviously, you look at these things, they're, it's, I don't know what you call the, like, secret aesthetic? The, you know what I mean? But it is that aesthetic. It's the Podesta art aesthetic. You know what I mean? It's that kind of like, I don't know what it is.

• 55:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's like a symbol. Like, hey, I'm, I'm creep over here.

• 55:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let's do creepy shit together, you and me, bro.

• 55:33Speaker 02

  Like, and LaBooBoo weirdly sounds like Pazuzu, which is like a demon, a Sumerian demon. So it's like, I don't know if that was intentional or not, but, you know? The original LaBooBoo, there you go, fucking Pazuzu. Look, it looks like a LaBooBoo.

• 55:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's horrible. I hate it.

• 55:50Speaker 02

  It's fucked up.

• 55:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can't hate it more. But show, um, you sent Josh Zolo a really inspiring Disney adult thing. Could you show that, Josh?

• 55:59Speaker 02

  I, I am one of these.

• 56:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. I wish you could play the music because the music is just like Disney adult with anxiety. You mean every parent at Disney?

• 56:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, like it sucks to be there. So just for people listening and not watching, it says Disney adult with diabetes is the first slide and it's got the fucking hand hearts, which I can't hate hand hearts more. I fucking hate hand hearts. It's so disingenuous. Oh, get fucked with your hand. Fuck off. Fuck right off. I hate it. Fucking hand hearts. Put those hands in your asshole.

• 56:33Speaker 02

  But I think.

• 56:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  But Disney adult with diabetes, Disney adult with anxiety. Yeah, no shit. Everybody. Disney adult with endometriosis. Very specific.

• 56:44Speaker 02

  Very specific.

• 56:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Disney adult with pots?

• 56:49Speaker 02

  Disney adult with erectile dysfunction. Where's that one?

• 56:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Those are the only Disney adults that should be there, the ones that can't get boners.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  Disney adult with lupus.

• 56:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Lupus.

• 57:00Speaker 02

  How many of these did this, they make?

• 57:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean, this is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen. Fibromyalgia Disney adult.

• 57:07Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 57:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  God, everybody has to be represented right now.

• 57:11Speaker 02

  Autism.

• 57:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, that's okay.

• 57:13Speaker 02

  That's okay.

• 57:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  I like autistics a lot.

• 57:15Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 57:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  They deserve it.

• 57:17Speaker 02

  Migraines.

• 57:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Migraines.

• 57:18Speaker 02

  I mean, come on.

• 57:21Speaker 02

  Disney adult with a cold.

• 57:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Disney adult with gaffe.

• 57:24Speaker 02

  Disney adult who's hungry.

• 57:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, multiple MS, I feel like I'll, I'll let them, that community, do the heart hands, Disney adult.

• 57:34Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 57:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean, their, their life is hard.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  Some of these are okay. Not all of them. Hashimoto's thyroiditis.

• 57:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Very specific.

• 57:42Speaker 02

  God damn.

• 57:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Everybody gets one.

• 57:45Speaker 02

  Everybody. That's literally every disease. Disney adult with schizophrenia. Disney adult with a lobotomy.

• 57:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Disney adult. These fucking nerds, man.

• 57:58Speaker 02

  Read, but if you read with a script, this is, I guess, the thing that is like bothers me. It's like, it's like, it's not to say that like, it's not like, I know it's hard. Like, we exist in a, we exist in a very rough part of time space and our bodies fall apart. Everyone's body falls apart. All of, all of us will die in probably horrible ways. Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, God knows what'll happen to you. It's not that, it's the ennobling. Or like, if you read this, it's some of the strongest people in the Disney parks are fighting battles you'd never notice from the outside.

• 58:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, everybody's fighting battles.

• 58:38Speaker 02

  Exactly. Exactly.

• 58:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's what life is, you stupid.

• 58:43Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 58:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Battle after battle after.

• 58:45Speaker 02

  Battle. It's like, what, the other thing I think we don't like about this is the implication that everyone else at Disney are bullies. Yeah. Before these shirts came out, we were like, what, you got diabetes, you piece of shit? You shouldn't be in this park.

• 59:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right. And if we don't acknowledge them as special, you're a piece of shit.

• 59:06Speaker 02

  Right.

• 59:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right. They deserve to have special treatment. Yes.

• 59:10Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 59:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Here we go. I've got asthma. Disney adult with asthma. Parkinson's. Oh my God. Cerebral palsy. Spina bifida. Sickle cell. God, these are for down.

• 59:23Speaker 02

  Down syndrome.

• 59:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  They deserve.

• 59:24Speaker 02

  They deserve.

• 59:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think that's the right term for the Disney adult. Isn't that their technical term?

• 59:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. Traumatic brain injury.

• 59:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 59:33Speaker 02

  What else?

• 59:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right on the money.

• 59:35Speaker 02

  Muscular dystrophy.

• 59:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh my God. Lymphedema.

• 59:38Speaker 02

  You know, here's what it is. It's like, you're, I feel like I need to say this.

• 59:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Go ahead.

• 59:45Speaker 02

  I am a man struggling with diabetes.

• 59:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh my God.

• 59:50Speaker 02

  Do you know what I go through? Do you know I have to take Ozempic? Do you know what that's like? I have to inject myself. It is awesome. It's the best. But you know, I'm not going to define myself by a dude with diabetes or a person with one ball. You know what I mean?

• 1:00:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. You know what I think this is for? This is for people that don't have actual battle wounds. Like you haven't actually been through some shit.

• 1:00:17Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:00:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like, this is their first rendezvous.

• 1:00:20Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:00:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  With bullshit. And they're like, I survived erectile dysfunction. And you're like, I need a t-shirt and a pen. It's like, okay, well, hang in there. Cause you're just getting started, bro.

• 1:00:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  Life is just a Ferris wheel of bullshit.

• 1:00:33Speaker 02

  Kids, you know, it's super cute. Like, would your kids want a Band-Aid?

• 1:00:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:39Speaker 02

  And even though they don't need the Band-Aid.

• 1:00:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  You know, they still, it makes them feel better. And it's a badge. It's like, you've been injured. And that's, but that's a kid. That's a kid. Once you become an adult.

• 1:00:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's what it is. You nailed it. It, this is, oh my God, I got chills. Yo, we just cracked it, like, first of all, people stress shit in airports. I just learned that. And this is an adult Band-Aid. You're right. It's the acknowledgement that I have suffered.

• 1:01:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. Which is, and also the, surely our instincts can't be wrong. Like the millions of people out there who recoil when they see shit like this. We're not crazy. Like, there's a, there's, it's, we have to trust our own minds. And, you know, I'll tell you, dude, if I see somebody with endometriosis at fucking Disney and I've done it before, I will kick your ass. If you have endo, I do. You're not going to stop me. I'll fucking, you better watch out if I catch one.

• 1:01:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  There's yours. Well, where's mine?

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  I want that. Are these shirts? I need that. I mean, I don't want with, with is like you still have it.

• 1:01:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh yeah. No, in remission. Never getting it again.

• 1:01:43Speaker 02

  Disney adult with swollen, aching balls that he's not cutting off.

• 1:01:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. Did you want to walk around informing everybody what you've got right now?

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  Disney adult with active Ebola.

• 1:01:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  God.

• 1:01:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Herpes outbreak. Yeah, nobody should know.

• 1:01:59Speaker 02

  Disney adult festering with herpes. Hi, I'm a Disney adult with a bubonic plague.

• 1:02:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's terrible. Wait, where's the pleo- pleomorphic breast cancer?

• 1:02:11Speaker 02

  Where's the amorph-?

• 1:02:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Where's my specific one?

• 1:02:13Speaker 02

  You got left out. You should reach out to them. I bet you got left out. Where the fuck is amorphic breast cancer?

• 1:02:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, I had pleomorphic, oh, thank God I can't remember it. Pleomorphic carcinoma of sing- testicular.

• 1:02:26Speaker 02

  How are you doing with that? That just happened.

• 1:02:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm good. I got my tits reconstructed. I got a fucking tummy tuck. I got a brow lift. They just did a biopsy. I'm cool. Like, bro, I'm like-

• 1:02:37Speaker 02

  I know, but the biopsy part. I hated that shit. You're a badass. Cause like I go, that part of the thing where I have to keep getting checked again and again, that's the part that fucked with my head.

• 1:02:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  But they're putting needles in your beans, right? That's different.

• 1:02:50Speaker 02

  In my beans?

• 1:02:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like in your bean sack? Wait, where are they putting the needles?

• 1:02:53Speaker 02

  No, they just test. They do blood tests and stuff. They weren't putting needles in my bean.

• 1:02:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  Needles in my bean!

• 1:03:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:03:03Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Just like that paranoia can, that can come in, you know?

• 1:03:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  You're gonna die any minute. Pleomorphic, fuck, what? PLCIS is what I had. Pleomorphic lobular carcinoma in C2. And it was a 1%, like, nobody got it. And you were the first person I called. You were the first person I called. I just, I blocked that out. You were my first phone call.

• 1:03:26Speaker 02

  I remember.

• 1:03:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, that was a really fun conversation.

• 1:03:29Speaker 02

  Cancer club.

• 1:03:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Cancer club. Where's our fucking t-shirt?

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  Where's our shirt? Well, they got mine. I mean, they, yours, you would take up a-

• 1:03:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, they would take cancer.

• 1:03:39Speaker 02

  Yay! You guys are incredible!

• 1:03:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  That was a fast-

• 1:03:43Speaker 02

  How did you do that?

• 1:03:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 1:03:46Speaker 02

  That's the exact font.

• 1:03:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. These boomers are blown away by your fucking ability.

• 1:03:51Speaker 02

  Yeah!

• 1:03:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  We're like, how does that work?

• 1:03:54Speaker 02

  Did you use a computer for that? Rock.

• 1:03:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  The last three too.

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  Oh, you did you dirty, dirty. So they don't have testicular cancer.

• 1:04:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, they're out. They're omitting you.

• 1:04:06Speaker 02

  Now they do.

• 1:04:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  We got it right.

• 1:04:08Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:04:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  They're not being inclusive enough.

• 1:04:11Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:04:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  No. Well, I'm so happy we fixed this. Listen, I've got my TikToks for you. I'm locked and loaded. Are you ready to do these?

• 1:04:21Speaker 02

  This is my favorite part.

• 1:04:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, cause mine too.

• 1:04:24Speaker 02

  And I'm looking at the wrong one. I should be looking at this one. I don't know why I turned. I want to look at the one you're looking at.

• 1:04:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, you know, I, as every, if you don't know, I like to feature the marginalized communities.

• 1:04:33Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:04:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  On TikTok. Here we go. Here you go.

• 1:04:36Speaker 07

  This is a rap about Austin, Texas. Austin, Texas and Travis County. The school district is Austin Independent School District. And it's the capital of the great state of Texas. They have 1 million residents and the metropolitan area has 2.61 residents and millions. They have the Austin Aquarium.

• 1:05:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:01Speaker 07

  And Interstate 35 and lots of highways.

• 1:05:04Speaker 02

  11.

• 1:05:05Speaker 07

  The Austin Steam Train Association Museum is located there. The Second Street District is there. The Barton Creek Square Mall.

• 1:05:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  I was gonna say Barton Creek.

• 1:05:16Speaker 07

  Domain Mall is over there and they have the Austin Zoo. They also have the capital of Texas Zoo. The Austin Bergstrom International Airport and the Colorado River goes right through it. The Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower.

• 1:05:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  You get the picture. It just goes on.

• 1:05:36Speaker 02

  How long is it?

• 1:05:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's 10 minutes.

• 1:05:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, you know, here's the thing. That is how I rap. Like whenever I try to rap, that's what I sound like. It's hard for me to judge it. I try to do that around my kids and they're like, no, no.

• 1:05:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know what you mean.

• 1:05:51Speaker 02

  Look how happy he is.

• 1:05:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's the best and he does them for other cities too.

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  It's incredible. Like, let's, let's get him some beats.

• 1:06:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yo, somebody.

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  Somebody should send him beats that he could do it to.

• 1:06:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Your mommies, you know what to do.

• 1:06:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  I met the saxophone guy, by the way, in Brea. So one time as a joke, I was like, you know what this fucking YMH intro needs? Saxophone. And this guy mailed it in. It was, he mailed it in. It was so good. So you guys know what to do. Somebody put a beat under the Austin Texas rap guy, please.

• 1:06:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  And you know what? He doesn't mention, um, Terry Black's barbecue, which I feel like should be like higher on that list. Don't you think like barbecue in general?

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of things I noticed he didn't mention.

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  And not to critique, but he missed some important spots. You know, he did. He missed some spots. Jeffries.

• 1:06:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Jeffries. That's the only spot that I know.

• 1:06:46Speaker 02

  He didn't mention Jeffries.

• 1:06:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Jeffries. You didn't, like, uh, Clark's?

• 1:06:50Speaker 02

  Clark's? Not a mention of that?

• 1:06:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Not a mention of that.

• 1:06:54Speaker 02

  The tunnels under Austin? The bodies in the lake?

• 1:06:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  The body, there are bodies in the lake. There's bodies in every lake.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  Secret serial killer.

• 1:07:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  So cool. Okay. Well, let's, let's, this is a little dark. Here we go. You and I tend to get existential and dark. Let's lighten it up a little.

• 1:07:10Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:07:13Speaker 06

  Well, I am so tired tonight. I think I'm going to just go home and go to bed for the night. I made my bed up so I could just relax a little bit and then go, go to sleep.

• 1:07:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. Good idea.

• 1:07:27Speaker 06

  I hope everybody had a great day.

• 1:07:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Thank you.

• 1:07:30Speaker 06

  And everything.

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  Cheers.

• 1:07:32Speaker 06

  And good night. Catch you later.

• 1:07:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well.

• 1:07:37Speaker 02

  Here's the creepy thing you don't know, is that what you're hearing is the person who's captured her and is keeping her trapped in the house. And just narrates everything she has to do it.

• 1:07:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  And this is the, this is the thing, the thrill that the kidnapper has.

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'm just going now. Looks like I'm gonna put my hand on a hot stove. I'm gonna do that real quick. It'd burn my hand. She has to do it. Yeah, that's sad. You're, you're, you're basically, this is just the loneliest thing anyone's ever seen, right? That's what this is.

• 1:08:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  This?

• 1:08:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Is it though, because Duncan, like you felt lonely, you and I do the road. There's no lonelier place than a hotel room. She at least had the emotional, like I isolate and I don't want to talk. I don't want to be seen.

• 1:08:26Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:08:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  She still wants to be seen and heard in her lonely state. I think that that must mean that she's mentally healthier than me.

• 1:08:34Speaker 02

  I'm gonna say no.

• 1:08:37Speaker 02

  I'm gonna say no, she's not.

• 1:08:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  What?

• 1:08:40Speaker 02

  I'm gonna say she is not as mentally healthy. I mean, I don't know, I can't judge this person, but there is something. Can we play it one more time? Let's just do a quick analysis.

• 1:08:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Of course, of course.

• 1:08:51Speaker 02

  Just break it, okay, pause here, pause here.

• 1:08:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  She's tired, but see, there's different, there's different cuts. Do you know what I mean? Like the first angle.

• 1:09:00Speaker 02

  I'm gonna say you're not, you're not doing okay because you're set, you're doing a lot of setups. Right? You're doing a lot of setups. How many setups do we have? Let's count the setups. You got the hallway shot.

• 1:09:13Speaker 02

  Can you guys go back? You guys could analyze this better than me because you guys know how to do this stuff, but.

• 1:09:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:09:18Speaker 02

  Let's count the shots. Let's count the shots.

• 1:09:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, you're fucking right. Okay, can you do that from the booth?

• 1:09:22Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:09:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, shot one.

• 1:09:23Speaker 02

  Tripod is here.

• 1:09:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fuck.

• 1:09:25Speaker 02

  She's gonna catch herself. The framing is weird. You can't see her right arm, but it's gets her out of the frame. Okay.

• 1:09:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Everybody, I'm going in the hallway and then I go down.

• 1:09:36Speaker 02

  She's set it up first and walked down the hallway and you have to ask how many takes? How many times is she like, that's not the right walk down my lonely hallway?

• 1:09:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  She did it 20 times.

• 1:09:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, at least. And now here we go. This is weird, this angle, she set up, the tripod is set high, pulling the pillows down. You notice the light? That is actually pro lighting. She's got some kind of shit from Best Buy that she has set up. You can see it.

• 1:10:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Because normal people lighting, she would just have some crummy overhead.

• 1:10:07Speaker 02

  Right, no.

• 1:10:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like muted.

• 1:10:08Speaker 02

  So she, that means that she's like, all right, if I'm gonna do these go to bed videos, I'm gonna have to get real. I have to look up how Stanley Kubrick do light a room. And so, no, she's definitely something to range.

• 1:10:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hey, can you do me a favor? I want you to do a. On her, can we find out other things that she narrate? Cause she also does other things like, hey, I'm just cooking dinner tonight. And here's what I'm having for dinner. And can I tell you, I want to judge and I want to laugh. But then I'm like, well, what's going to happen next? What is she gonna do? Like, I'm engaged, I'm riveted. What does the bedroom look like?

• 1:10:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  What is she reading? I need to know more.

• 1:10:45Speaker 02

  Who, this could be a performance artist. This could be some like incredible sort of critique of the modern life is an empty, hellish world.

• 1:10:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, and her nightstand is so free of clutter. Like my nightstand, it's coffee cups, books, books, books, wipes for my lenses. Like, it's just disgusting. Okay, let's see what, what, which one, which one are you feeling? What's my Friday plans? What's my Friday?

• 1:11:13Speaker 02

  Okay, let's check it out.

• 1:11:16Speaker 06

  What is my Friday night plans? Going straight to bed.

• 1:11:22Speaker 06

  This is my plan for the night.

• 1:11:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:25Speaker 06

  I am so tired. It's time for me to lay down. Good night now.

• 1:11:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  I feel like she reused the footage. Like, oh, no, she's wearing a different colored shirt.

• 1:11:36Speaker 02

  Did I? By the way, I don't mean to cut this off.

• 1:11:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 1:11:39Speaker 02

  But it just made me think of this off of it. Did you get the thing I sent you? The, the woman who thinks that she's married to Shia LaBeouf? How do you say it's LaBeouf?

• 1:11:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Shia LaBeouf?

• 1:11:50Speaker 02

  LaBeouf.

• 1:11:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Shia LaBeouf?

• 1:11:52Speaker 02

  Shia LaBeouf. Do you?

• 1:11:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, I sent it to you and I've sent it to, and I'm starting to think it's, I'm the problem because no one's really responded. But, and I've sent it to many people. That's it, HF campaign. And this is interesting. These are new.

• 1:12:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Stop.

• 1:12:09Speaker 02

  This is anomalous. This is anomalous, whatever's going on here. Police information release, the tigers, like, but scroll, but you'll notice the picture. It's her with Shia, superimposed, but.

• 1:12:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, I didn't even know. Wait, go up. I want to see the profile. She did that.

• 1:12:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:12:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  How did she do that, Duncan?

• 1:12:28Speaker 02

  I think she used a computer.

• 1:12:32Speaker 05

  It's interesting. It says not the public figure, but shows the public figure. So.

• 1:12:37Speaker 02

  So scroll, scroll down. You see, I follow her. Scroll down.

• 1:12:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wife. Oh, oh, oh, she's Muslim.

• 1:12:45Speaker 02

  Now play, she, the hijab she started wearing, like you can find pre hijab. She started wearing the hijab, but just play any of these. They all start the same way.

• 1:12:54Speaker 03

  Hi Shia, it's 10:03 PM, June 12th, 2026. I just wanted to let you know I'm at Kroger grocery store.

• 1:13:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh Kroger. I love Kroger. Yeah.

• 1:13:03Speaker 03

  My mom ran in to get a few things and we went and did our grocery shopping, got everything done. By 10, we started to shop at 7 AM.

• 1:13:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, that's a.

• 1:13:14Speaker 03

  So I'm gonna be going back and making a video around 3 PM. So I'm thinking about you. I love you Shia. Thank you so much Shia.

• 1:13:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean, I have, we have to ask the obvious is, why can't she just send it directly to Shia?

• 1:13:27Speaker 02

  Because he's, he's probably has a restraining order. Like this is, this woman is stalking Shia and like scroll, scroll down.

• 1:13:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is why you don't want to be that famous. You really don't.

• 1:13:37Speaker 02

  Exactly. Cause this is coming your way. Inevitably. You're gonna get this. It's gonna, keep scrolling. You have cops.

• 1:13:45Speaker 05

  I got calls from two different people on Facebook that are friends of yours and they're concerned that you might hurt yourself or someone.

• 1:13:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh dear.

• 1:13:52Speaker 05

  Said that you're posting that you're married to Shia LaBeouf.

• 1:13:56Speaker 03

  I'm not married to the clone Shia LaBeouf. There's someone that had their identity stolen named Shia LaBeouf. I'm not posting.

• 1:14:04Speaker 02

  Ah, I'm so sorry ma'am. That's all you had to say. Oh, I'm sorry. That clears it up. That's all you had to say. I get it. Have a great day ma'am.

• 1:14:15Speaker 03

  People in regards to Shia LaBeouf, the clone or the celebrity.

• 1:14:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, the clone.

• 1:14:21Speaker 05

  They said there was something about you.

• 1:14:22Speaker 03

  They're trying to illegally frame me.

• 1:14:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Of course, officer.

• 1:14:27Speaker 03

  They're trying to illegally frame me and get me in trouble because they're trying to criminally frame me and saying that I'm harassing the celebrity. I'm not harassing the celebrity.

• 1:14:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's the clone.

• 1:14:37Speaker 02

  I'm harassing his clone.

• 1:14:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:39Speaker 03

  Strange going on where my DNA was stolen.

• 1:14:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh.

• 1:14:43Speaker 03

  My mother Deanna sold my DNA.

• 1:14:45Speaker 02

  What's that movement? That was a signal. Did you see what he did? That's a signal.

• 1:14:49Speaker 03

  Something happened with my DNA. Something happened. My husband's DNA. And we're in a very dangerous situation.

• 1:14:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Shia LaBeouf, stupid.

• 1:14:56Speaker 03

  It's not the celebrity named Shia LaBeouf.

• 1:14:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's the clone, don't you get it?

• 1:15:00Speaker 02

  You dumb fucking piece of shit.

• 1:15:02Speaker 03

  The only thing I need to be concerned about is, are you thinking about hurting yourself? No, I am not. I am not thinking about hurting anybody. I'm not thinking about hurting hurting anyone. I'm not thinking about hurting myself.

• 1:15:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 1:15:15Speaker 03

  I am in a lot of danger.

• 1:15:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, she's scared.

• 1:15:18Speaker 03

  I'm trying to, uh, I told you, I I've reported reports in regards to people attempting to try to, uh, hurt me and possibly, uh, um, not make me be alive. There's a ton of things that's happening in regards to, uh, the crime that's happening to me, but besides that, no. These people that are reporting are trying to illegally frame me as

• 1:15:43Speaker 02

  Cop is falling asleep.

• 1:15:46Speaker 02

  He's so bored.

• 1:15:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's like, alright.

• 1:15:48Speaker 02

  Now, this is the main thing. Can you just scroll down?

• 1:15:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  There's a fundraiser.

• 1:15:52Speaker 02

  Just keep scrolling down.

• 1:15:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, she's cute. She's a blonde.

• 1:15:54Speaker 02

  It's just the quantity of these. Honestly, this is, I I do want to say this.

• 1:15:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  She's so cute.

• 1:15:59Speaker 02

  Because I wouldn't be surprised if Shia watches this show. And I feel like this is a missed love connection.

• 1:16:08Speaker 02

  Right?

• 1:16:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, I didn't even think about that.

• 1:16:10Speaker 02

  He might, this, I think if anything is gonna help this person connect with Shia, this is it.

• 1:16:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  God damn, you're so smart.

• 1:16:18Speaker 02

  Because he's gonna see this and be like, oh, look, that's her mom. Check it out.

• 1:16:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, let's see what it says.

• 1:16:21Speaker 06

  Hi.

• 1:16:22Speaker 03

  Hi Shia.

• 1:16:23Speaker 06

  Hi Shia, it's Doris calling.

• 1:16:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hi Doris.

• 1:16:26Speaker 06

  And it's nice to see your picture.

• 1:16:31Speaker 06

  Know what we're, how we're related. So, I'll probably see you again.

• 1:16:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Do you think?

• 1:16:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Doris has any inclination of what's really happening?

• 1:16:42Speaker 02

  No, she seems kinda out of it, but I I don't know this for sure because like there's so many videos. It's hard to collect everything that's happening. But there is tension between her and her mom. You hear them fighting in some videos and stuff.

• 1:16:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, no.

• 1:16:54Speaker 02

  Um.

• 1:16:57Speaker 02

  Whoa, I haven't seen this one.

• 1:17:01Speaker 03

  Yep, have a good day.

• 1:17:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  Duncan, I mean, how did I miss this? I apologize.

• 1:17:10Speaker 02

  It's okay.

• 1:17:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean, like, I want you to feel seen and validated and heard. Cause you said that people weren't giving you the credit. And like, I fully commend you.

• 1:17:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm, I'm so inspired by this.

• 1:17:23Speaker 02

  I figured you would, it's right up your alley.

• 1:17:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean.

• 1:17:27Speaker 02

  You, usually you are the one, I'm finding things from you.

• 1:17:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right.

• 1:17:30Speaker 02

  And also.

• 1:17:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right.

• 1:17:32Speaker 02

  Because of your content, your content trains my algorithm. You know what I mean? If, if you just go through your stuff, your algorithm will suddenly start giving you the craziest shit.

• 1:17:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  You know, I've heard this from people.

• 1:17:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  People that follow me or watch my stories of that nature. Yeah, I've heard this.

• 1:17:52Speaker 02

  It's the best. It's the best.

• 1:17:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm not sure people would care.

• 1:17:56Speaker 02

  Dude, one of my friends started sending me like videos of crazy people and was like, why did it suddenly start showing me crazy people? I want to say you and our Christina's gram, right?

• 1:18:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't know, but look, all I know is that somebody will be like, hey, have you seen, like, I have, I have like one normie friend. Actually, and like, she's like, oh my God, have you seen that trend on TikTok where you're getting the dance on the, everyone's wearing tutus? And I was like, no, dude, you don't, you don't understand how dark I am. Like, I don't know anything normal. I didn't know what a fucking La Booboo was, right?

• 1:18:33Speaker 02

  That is wild.

• 1:18:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  But I know about the vampire Lestat. I knew that the new, the new series is coming out.

• 1:18:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:18:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Lestat.

• 1:18:40Speaker 02

  You know about the horny cowboy.

• 1:18:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  The horny cowboy.

• 1:18:43Speaker 02

  You, you have, your eye is glued to this new technological people, which shows us how absolutely insane the world has become. You're just looking through this people into the future.

• 1:18:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 1:18:56Speaker 02

  Everyone's melting down. And you know, the other thing is, you know, normally it's a contagion. Cause like somebody's watching like this video of this, the lady, whoever this lady is.

• 1:19:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:07Speaker 02

  The lady who like films herself going to bed. And they're like, look at how many views she's getting.

• 1:19:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:19:12Speaker 02

  I'm gonna do that.

• 1:19:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:13Speaker 02

  And it's. It spreads. It spreads. That's, this is the gift of meta.

• 1:19:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I love that. I could watch this. I could watch this endlessly. In fact, I do. I like this. I can watch over any normal. What did I see? I saw this stupid Star Wars movie yesterday with the kids. What a bunch. It was so, first of all, the Mandalorian.

• 1:19:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:19:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  And the grog, the Greg. The thing is, the Mandalorian, I like the character. But he wears a helmet that covers his face the whole time. So the lead character.

• 1:19:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Is that, you don't even see the guy's mouth or nothing. Like, what kind of acting is this? I can't, there's no emotion.

• 1:19:53Speaker 02

  It's bullshit. Is it even the actor? It could be anybody in the helmet.

• 1:19:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Anybody in that. And you can tell they totally did that. Cause he's not, okay. And then the little Yoda guy, he doesn't talk either. So now I've got two main characters. The movie is about two characters. One who wears a full fucking facial helmet. And then a little thing that doesn't talk.

• 1:20:13Speaker 02

  The Yoda doesn't talk?

• 1:20:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, he doesn't speak. He's like, like he's like a gremlin. And which is rad, but like, guys, somebody has to emote and speak in this fucking movie.

• 1:20:24Speaker 02

  It's ridiculous.

• 1:20:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  And then they all have a monotone delivery. I don't know if that's a, like a choice. Is that like a character? This is, this is Pedro, Pedro Pascal, whatever. He's the Mandalorian.

• 1:20:36Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:20:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Pedro Pascal. He's great.

• 1:20:39Speaker 02

  How, think how expensive it is to book that guy. You're gonna put a helmet on his sweet ass?

• 1:20:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's what I'm saying. Show me this fucking pun.

• 1:20:46Speaker 02

  Give me a fucking break. You're gonna cover that? Honk up?

• 1:20:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Thank you. But the thing is, so he's acting, it's very muted because I don't know why. His, his thing is like, we have to leave the place immediately. We're going to be killed. That's how he talks the whole, are any dorks in there that can tell me why the Mandalorian talks like that? Any nerds?

• 1:21:05Speaker 02

  Isn't, I'm so sorry.

• 1:21:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, thank God. I was gonna fire whoever answered that question immediately.

• 1:21:11Speaker 02

  Is the Mandalorian Boba Fett?

• 1:21:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Is that dude?

• 1:21:15Speaker 02

  I'm sorry.

• 1:21:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Boba Fett's black.

• 1:21:17Speaker 02

  No, I know, but aren't, doesn't, don't they wear this? I'm so, I should never have said that. This, this is gonna come back on me.

• 1:21:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  You realize the Star Wars community is furious with us right now?

• 1:21:25Speaker 02

  We've already talked shit about Labubus, Disney adults, and now I just said The Mandalorian is Boba Fett. I'm done. It's over.

• 1:21:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Canceled.

• 1:21:35Speaker 02

  Didn't do-

• 1:21:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, The Mandalorian and Boba Fett are two completely different characters. Thank God. Are you so embarrassed, you fucking idiot? Why didn't you fucking know that, stupid?

• 1:21:44Speaker 02

  I don't know, I've, I've, I've been under a lot of pressure lately, man.

• 1:21:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  What the fuck is wrong with you?

• 1:21:48Speaker 02

  I got endometriosis, man.

• 1:21:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  You need to put your shirt on and go to Disney. Alright, I got a few more to show you. You have time for me?

• 1:21:55Speaker 02

  I do.

• 1:21:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, I love you.

• 1:21:57Speaker 02

  Love you.

• 1:21:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Here we go.

• 1:21:58Speaker 06

  So you think telling me to be fucking nicer is really gonna get you somewhere?

• 1:22:07Speaker 06

  You got the devil now.

• 1:22:08Speaker 02

  Oh no!

• 1:22:11Speaker 06

  I'm, I'm nice compared to what she's gonna be. You keep screwing with me.

• 1:22:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, I'm terrified.

• 1:22:19Speaker 02

  Fucking terrifying! She's about to unleash that lady.

• 1:22:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yep.

• 1:22:24Speaker 02

  God, zoom in on that face. Can you zoom in on that fucking face?

• 1:22:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let's see that face, that demon.

• 1:22:28Speaker 02

  Look at that look!

• 1:22:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  She's wearing Christina P's perfect red, which is lovely. Thank you so much for representing my lipstick.

• 1:22:35Speaker 02

  Looks good.

• 1:22:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can you zoom in?

• 1:22:39Speaker 02

  Look at those earbutts, she got, is there those earbutts?

• 1:22:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  I hate when, they are the comb drops. I hate when people wear those.

• 1:22:43Speaker 02

  I do too.

• 1:22:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Take them off.

• 1:22:45Speaker 02

  I do too, especially for this video. It's not helping you look sinister.

• 1:22:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow, again, much like the guy that's in the blood pool. Like, if you're gonna commit, commit.

• 1:22:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  What happened? We can't, you guys can make-

• 1:23:00Speaker 02

  They can't-

• 1:23:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  -phony posters, you can't fucking zoom in on the demon girl?

• 1:23:04Speaker 02

  Put the picture in your computer and you should be able to zoom in.

• 1:23:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Computer?

• 1:23:08Speaker 02

  Oh my God! Those aren't earbutts. What is that shit in her ear? Those aren't earbutts. That's holding her ear on. It's some kind of clip.

• 1:23:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's a staple. Well, she looks terrified.

• 1:23:21Speaker 02

  She, she-

• 1:23:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  She's got my makeup on right now, I swear to you.

• 1:23:24Speaker 02

  She's pretty.

• 1:23:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  My makeup is exactly the same as hers today.

• 1:23:28Speaker 02

  She's a, she, what'd you say?

• 1:23:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  She's, she's very attractive. I think the eyebrows are a little dark. I, I wouldn't have put them in black.

• 1:23:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  She just needs a different brow pencil color.

• 1:23:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  But, I mean, she's smoking, dude.

• 1:23:39Speaker 02

  What do you think about her, um- Eye makeup.

• 1:23:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean, like, I literally, I literally have the same shit on right now. Like, I'm wearing black, kinda winged.

• 1:23:48Speaker 02

  I see.

• 1:23:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Eye makeup, too, and like, a red lip. So I can't really shit on that. I think she's great. I'm, I'm-

• 1:23:55Speaker 02

  Can we zoom out, zoom back a little bit and kinda watch her one more time? I wish you would say who this person was.

• 1:24:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. That's the problem with-

• 1:24:03Speaker 02

  It's the devil.

• 1:24:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  These private videos where it's just a message to one person. It's like, well, what's the whole story? Fuck, alright. Oh, are you doing something? Nice try.

• 1:24:16Speaker 02

  Nice try.

• 1:24:17Speaker 06

  You think telling me to be fucking nicer is really gonna get you somewhere?

• 1:24:25Speaker 02

  Oh, dude.

• 1:24:25Speaker 06

  You got the devil now.

• 1:24:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, shit.

• 1:24:27Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ. Oh, shit.

• 1:24:30Speaker 06

  I'm nice compared to what she's gonna be. You keep screwing with me.

• 1:24:35Speaker 02

  Fuck.

• 1:24:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude, I wouldn't mess with that bitch.

• 1:24:38Speaker 02

  I wouldn't mess, I, I, I would not sleep anymore if I saw that. That's terrifying.

• 1:24:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  She's so scary. Okay, I, I got it, I can't. Okay, here we go. Um, here.

• 1:24:49Speaker 02

  Oh, shit.

• 1:24:53Speaker 02

  What the fuck?

• 1:24:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's so much. It's so much. It's so much.

• 1:25:02Speaker 02

  What is he doing with that, Z?

• 1:25:07Speaker 02

  That's a perfect video.

• 1:25:10Speaker 02

  Can you play it one more time? I, these videos, they're not long enough.

• 1:25:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's perfect.

• 1:25:14Speaker 02

  It's a beautiful video.

• 1:25:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  There's so much to know.

• 1:25:23Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:25:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow. There's so many questions here, Duncan.

• 1:25:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why the choice to wear a polo shirt in the pool? And it's buttoned all the way up.

• 1:25:34Speaker 02

  Okay, first, I think your definition of pool is not my definition of pool. That is-

• 1:25:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sure.

• 1:25:40Speaker 02

  That's like a, can we zoom out a little bit on that thing? Cause it's not a pool. He could have easily been in some kind of cryogenic, he could have been cryogenically frozen-

• 1:25:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:51Speaker 02

  In that shirt, and it melted, and he's just waking up for the first time.

• 1:25:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's true. We didn't think of the full potential.

• 1:25:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, that's a tiny box. You're right. He was cryogenically frozen and he just woke up.

• 1:26:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  Dude.

• 1:26:04Speaker 02

  He's been resurrected. That's, that's, he used to be in parliament or something and they froze him and now he's emerging to save the world.

• 1:26:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's so rad that he caught that though. Like, you know, when you come out of anesthesia or surgery, like, I wish I could see what I look like. That's so rad that he could see himself coming out of cryo phase.

• 1:26:22Speaker 02

  Historic. Where is he? What a beautiful place.

• 1:26:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 1:26:26Speaker 02

  It's crazy. Like when you're in a beautiful tourist place like that.

• 1:26:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 1:26:29Speaker 02

  You have no idea that there's like a black dude in a polo shirt, sitting in a freezer with water.

• 1:26:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  But now you can know. And that's the best part of TikTok. It's like, now you can know exactly how mentally ill the world is. Oh, this one's pretty cool. Tell me, you mentioned putting your penis in a fan.

• 1:26:46Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:26:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  At the Wilbur. You're gonna be doing the Wilbur Theater, June 27th.

• 1:26:50Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:26:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Consider booking this as your opener.

• 1:26:52Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:27:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's only about 10 minutes longer. That's...

• 1:27:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, that, you get the gist.

• 1:27:08Speaker 02

  Isn't this guy, I think I've, I've stumbled upon him because of you, but isn't he kind of like, he considers himself a sound designer or something?

• 1:27:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  You nailed it. You nailed it.

• 1:27:18Speaker 02

  And, and you should appreciate this. It's, it's, it's, that's what sucks about it. It's cause it's like, if you don't appreciate how great this is.

• 1:27:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can you imagine how long it took him to come up with something that detailed, that, I mean, it goes on and on and on.

• 1:27:32Speaker 02

  To script it. I want to read the script. How do you write out those sounds?

• 1:27:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, let's, let's give it another.

• 1:27:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:27:46Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:27:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's coming down now. He's, it's resting.

• 1:27:50Speaker 02

  It's building up.

• 1:27:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 1:27:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is basically, this is homeless guy music, right? Doesn't this sound like every homeless person?

• 1:28:00Speaker 02

  It does. That is the sound. That's the sound that gets you into your car faster.

• 1:28:07Speaker 02

  Shit, fuck, fuck, fuck. I'll call you back. I'll call you back.

• 1:28:13Speaker 02

  And you can't look.

• 1:28:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is you getting to your car from the Comedy Store. You do like that little fuck dude.

• 1:28:22Speaker 02

  Motherfucker. And if you look, that's how they get you.

• 1:28:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Don't make eye contact.

• 1:28:27Speaker 02

  If you turn and look, as you should, they're like, what? Stupid piece of shit. Something bothering you?

• 1:28:36Speaker 02

  Why'd you look at me? It's the worst.

• 1:28:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's the, that's, I think that's why this doesn't vote, it triggers that feeling of fear and anxiety in me. You know, maybe I don't get it, what he's doing, but it's homeless guy anxiety.

• 1:28:51Speaker 02

  That's, it's basically just, this is probably some kind of workshop for homeless people who want to get better at their fucking satanic gibber. And dude, this is why I'm looking forward to drone technologies. And I know a lot of people are gonna say I'm Machiavellian here.

• 1:29:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay.

• 1:29:07Speaker 02

  But there, it is completely feasible. Thanks to the good people at Palantir, that we could theoretically have drones stationed on buildings that tune into that that sound.

• 1:29:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sure.

• 1:29:18Speaker 02

  And they just fly down and carry them away.

• 1:29:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, that's amazing.

• 1:29:21Speaker 02

  Wouldn't that be incredible?

• 1:29:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  I wish.

• 1:29:23Speaker 02

  Just carry them away. You see them, you hear that sound and then you're like comforted because you hear the of a drone coming and just carries them off into the mountains or something. Why do we have to, it sucks. It happened the other day. Checking into a hotel with the air and the baby.

• 1:29:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, but do you think as a homeless person, if you had to choose your environment, that the mountains? I mean, I get why they go to the beach. Like, who doesn't love the beach?

• 1:29:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  But I didn't even think about the mountains. That's really cool.

• 1:29:56Speaker 02

  Carry them to the mountains. Carry them up to the mountains. You could watch it.

• 1:30:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm thinking Montana. There's a lot of land up there that nobody's using.

• 1:30:03Speaker 02

  Here's the good news. Thanks to my friends at Palantir, you don't have to think about stuff like that. You're just gonna look up and you're gonna see like somebody being carried away by a drone.

• 1:30:15Speaker 02

  And that's it. They'll take them to the mountains. They're not really taking them. They're not taking them to the mountains.

• 1:30:22Speaker 02

  I don't worry about where they're taking them. Not the mountains.

• 1:30:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's kind of what happened here in Austin. Like when we moved here, there were so many more homeless. And now you're like, where the hell?

• 1:30:32Speaker 02

  What happened? What happened?

• 1:30:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  They're in the mountains.

• 1:30:34Speaker 02

  They're keeping you up at night?

• 1:30:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes.

• 1:30:38Speaker 02

  Where'd they go?

• 1:30:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Absolutely. I'm super worried.

• 1:30:41Speaker 02

  I've been, I've been, I'm like, you know, this is like my hobby. I'm kind of like, I've been trying to find out where they all went.

• 1:30:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Did you and Kurt figure it out?

• 1:30:49Speaker 02

  Not yet. It's a mystery.

• 1:30:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  You gotta figure it out on your show.

• 1:30:52Speaker 02

  We're gonna find them and we're gonna bring them back.

• 1:30:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, no, no, no.

• 1:30:56Speaker 02

  We will find them and return them to Austin. Austin's most precious resource. It's ridiculous. These fascist fucks taking the weird out of Austin. Keep Austin weird, baby. We're gonna bring them back.

• 1:31:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Bring the homeless back. You gotta run on this.

• 1:31:11Speaker 02

  People are gonna...

• 1:31:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  People are gonna love this.

• 1:31:13Speaker 02

  People, we're trying to raise money. Go to Bring Them Back, Bring Them Back on, we're doing a Kickstarter. It's like we're tracking them. We're trying to find out where they've gone. We will return them.

• 1:31:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Will you track them? Will you put trackers under their skin?

• 1:31:28Speaker 02

  We do.

• 1:31:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like your cat, like when you get your cat chipped, your dog?

• 1:31:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  Take the homeless people chipped so you can keep tabs?

• 1:31:34Speaker 02

  We chip them. We have videos of it. It's, there's some, it's beautiful. You know, we tranquilize them and then we get in there and get a chip on them and track them to see where they're going. They love it. They love being chipped. They love it.

• 1:31:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  They do. They love it. And what's really nice is that they get all that space. There's a lot of space in Texas that's underutilized. A lot of...

• 1:31:57Speaker 02

  A lot of mountains.

• 1:31:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Desert mountains.

• 1:32:00Speaker 02

  So much space.

• 1:32:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay. This has been so much fun. We'll close on this last TikTok. Bring the homeless back to Austin.

• 1:32:07Speaker 02

  Bring them back. We're bringing them back. The other day I was walking with my kid and he's like, Dad, right around here you used to step on human shit. What happened? I thought we were keeping Austin weird. That's what inspired me. I'm like, we're gonna bring them back.

• 1:32:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  We're gonna bring them back. Bring them back.

• 1:32:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Lock is a sometimes thing. Sometimes. With communication, constant check ins and supervision all the time.

• 1:32:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's that. That's the worst gimp I've ever seen. That's a fucking fraudulent fashion gimp. We hate gimps like you're not a gimp. You'll never be a gimp. You a true gimp. You know what they don't ask? What happens if there's a fire?

• 1:32:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Duh.

• 1:33:00Speaker 02

  No real gimp. This kind of safety gimpery. It's an embarrassment. He's not even wearing a gimp outfit. You're not in a cage if you can get out. Period.

• 1:33:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yo, it's like your dog's crate. Like if you if your dog had hands, it could just reach and then just unlatch it like there's no danger. There's no.

• 1:33:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh.

• 1:33:19Speaker 02

  It was a room with bars. If you can get out of it, you're not in a cage.

• 1:33:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, this guy is fucking fraudulent.

• 1:33:24Speaker 02

  He's a he's a poser gimp. It's a it's an entire. You know what happens if gimp? If my gimp asked me, what happens if there's a fire, which they definitely wouldn't? We had their teeth removed and half of their tongue. But if they asked me that, I'd be like, you could burn. You'll burn. You burned to death.

• 1:33:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, that's the point of being somebody's gimp.

• 1:33:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:33:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  You're meant to just like, it makes your dick super hard and that's the priority is staying aroused sexually, even if it is dangerous to your being. Right?

• 1:33:55Speaker 02

  Get your priorities straight.

• 1:33:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Thank you.

• 1:33:57Speaker 02

  This is an embarrassment. This this really is upsetting to me just the aesthetic, the thing. It's like, dude, you're sleepy cage.

• 1:34:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fuck you.

• 1:34:06Speaker 02

  You're sleepy cage.

• 1:34:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  And look, he has the nerve to call himself hooligan. Oh, my.

• 1:34:11Speaker 02

  Number eighty seven.

• 1:34:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, get the fuck out of here, you fucking bitch.

• 1:34:16Speaker 02

  Just a this is absolutely. You know what people like him are doing? They're they're making gimps. America's gimps are weak and I don't want to go boomer here, but the gimps, the new Gen Z gimps.

• 1:34:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:30Speaker 02

  They're like this. They don't even put on the leather, the inflatable.

• 1:34:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  So see, for those of you who might not really understand a gimp, can you please bring up an image of like? Like I'm talking like. Nineties San Francisco gimp. This is the kind of shit you would see like during like.

• 1:34:48Speaker 02

  There's a real gimp.

• 1:34:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  A Wednesday.

• 1:34:50Speaker 02

  That's a gimp.

• 1:34:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, this is Folsom Street Fair. Like you would just see these psychos. Yeah.

• 1:34:55Speaker 02

  These are gimps.

• 1:34:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's the aesthetic.

• 1:34:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, these are gimps.

• 1:34:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  I agree.

• 1:35:00Speaker 02

  That's what a gimp is. That's what a gimp has always been.

• 1:35:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:03Speaker 02

  And look, can you pull up the one you pulled the caged gimp, just so people see this?

• 1:35:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, that's how you sleep, dummy.

• 1:35:09Speaker 02

  Look, you're gonna burn. If the house burns down, you're burning with it.

• 1:35:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:35:13Speaker 02

  I don't have time to unshackle you, gimp. You're lucky to be in my cage.

• 1:35:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  And like, what a pussy. He's worried about, oh, when you get your, like, fuck off. Who cares? Your dick is hard and that's all that matters.

• 1:35:25Speaker 02

  Constant communication. That's when you take out their tongue. You're like, shut the fuck up. Why are you talking? Why are you talking? You could, you know, or, well, here's what's crazy about it.

• 1:35:39Speaker 02

  Like, sometimes, like, an untrained gimp will take their bean can and bang it into the bar. That happened to us. And, and, and it, dude.

• 1:35:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  You tolerated that?

• 1:35:50Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:35:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, how did they get their hands on the bean can?

• 1:35:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is the problem, because we got a gimp sitter and honestly, we're in our, and they were giving him bean cans. You never fucking do that. I said, just don't feed him for a couple of days. He'll be fine. So, but he, they did that and they left the bean can in. And then when we got, um, he started.

• 1:36:11Speaker 02

  Horrible, horrible. So, yeah, we, you know, we did. Easy fix. We got another can of beans.

• 1:36:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:18Speaker 02

  And we put in that can of beans. I won't say the exact ingredients, but let's just say.

• 1:36:26Speaker 02

  He fell asleep for a long time.

• 1:36:30Speaker 02

  Because that's what you have to do. Once they start, it's like when a dog starts sucking eggs, when a gimp starts banging a can, they're not gonna stop.

• 1:36:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 1:36:36Speaker 02

  This, this guy's weak, weakening America's gimps.

• 1:36:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's not even in latex. I hate that he gets to wear fabric. That's how you should look.

• 1:36:44Speaker 02

  That's what you, yeah.

• 1:36:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Harness. Your balls are tied up with a, a, a chain, a lock. You've got a, a face mask on. You can't breathe. Like, that's the essence of this.

• 1:36:54Speaker 02

  And I do want to give a shout out to Metal Bond NYC Gay Male Bondage Training. These guys are doing the Lord's work out there. You know, it is, we are living in a much busier time and like, I'm not proud of it, but we don't have time to like, train up our gimps like we used to. But they're, these guys, I couldn't give them a higher rating. I've sent unruly gimps to them. And they come back tip top shit.

• 1:37:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  You guys, you heard him. Go to Yelp, give them a five star review.

• 1:37:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:37:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let them know.

• 1:37:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is great. Look at this. See what's happening there? It's so great.

• 1:37:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Can you, can we, can we see the training program? The training by the New York master? Oh, wow. I didn't realize.

• 1:37:32Speaker 02

  Metal, Metal Bond, he's great.

• 1:37:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hmm.

• 1:37:35Speaker 02

  Now, look.

• 1:37:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay.

• 1:37:36Speaker 02

  Gimp training within, look, these are, this is, this is what you're looking for.

• 1:37:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is what I need.

• 1:37:42Speaker 02

  Oops, I don't know. Here you go. You are gonna show that.

• 1:37:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, that'll be blurred out. Yeah, you need somebody, a professional. You're right, because who's got time?

• 1:37:50Speaker 02

  Look at that.

• 1:37:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:51Speaker 02

  Perfect, perfect. And it is amazing how relaxing it is to, after a hard day's work, to stretch out on your gimp.

• 1:37:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Of course. Why else do you get one?

• 1:38:00Speaker 02

  And you don't want constant communication. You're watching a fucking show.

• 1:38:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, shut the fuck up.

• 1:38:05Speaker 02

  Shut the fuck up.

• 1:38:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Mommy's watching The View.

• 1:38:07Speaker 02

  What if there's a fire?

• 1:38:10Speaker 02

  You, fuck that.

• 1:38:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fucking homo.

• 1:38:14Speaker 02

  That's not how we roll.

• 1:38:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  So good, dude.

• 1:38:16Speaker 02

  Chirp. This guy's name's, what is this guy? Official Ambassador? What is that? Go back to the, the Poser Gimp.

• 1:38:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Poser Gimp. Yeah, Chip. What's his fucking name?

• 1:38:26Speaker 02

  Chirp.

• 1:38:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Chirp. Yeah, he's, I agree.

• 1:38:29Speaker 02

  Constant check-ins and supervision.

• 1:38:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's a child. This is this generation.

• 1:38:35Speaker 02

  Grow up.

• 1:38:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:37Speaker 02

  I didn't mean to end on a, I mean, I.

• 1:38:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, no, I, look, you gave, this is positive. We're telling people, we're sending people where to go to train their gimp, which I think is cool.

• 1:38:46Speaker 02

  Right, right, right, right. So there is a way to, I don't think that Chirp is, there's much you could do. With that, but maybe, maybe there's hope. That'd be kinda cool. Maybe they would offer a scholarship or you could go up there and like-

• 1:38:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  A scholarship?

• 1:38:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:39:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, wow. Now you're talking.

• 1:39:02Speaker 02

  Learn to, learn to, learn to fucking obey. Shut the fuck up.

• 1:39:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Check out Mystery Boys. New episodes drop every Thursday, 8:00 PM Central on YMH Studios. Uh, go see Duncan at Zany's, June 25th, 27th of June. He's at the Wilbur Theater. Your mother is coming to London, July 22nd, uh, at the Leicester Square Theater.

• 1:39:27Speaker 02

  So cool.

• 1:39:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Get your tickets right now at ChristinaP.com. Duncan, this was, I so badly needed this, like-

• 1:39:34Speaker 02

  Me too.

• 1:39:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  I just laughed my tits off this whole time.

• 1:39:37Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:39:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Please come back. Will you come back soon?

• 1:39:38Speaker 02

  Anytime. I'll come back anytime you want. This is the best.

• 1:39:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, this is the best. I, I've had so much fun with you. Thank you so much.

• 1:39:45Speaker 02

  Thank you so much. Thanks for educating all of us. We need what you're showing the world. The world needs you. The world needs this. They need to see the truth.

• 1:39:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  It does. Thank you so much. We're doing God's work. Alright, guys, until next time, keep your jeans high and tight. Love you, mommies.

• 1:40:00Speaker 02

  Bye.

• 1:40:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Meow, meow, mommies.

• 1:40:02Speaker 02

  Hello, excuse me. Can I talk to you, please, girl? Life feels like fucking hell without a girlfriend. Just 'cause I got a bald head and I'm horny doesn't make me a bad person. You get into like fucking, straight up fucking songs, you know?

• 1:40:18Speaker 06

  Only wanna think about her every day and every night, girl. You're gonna be the most important person in my life, girl. We're gonna be lovers at first sight, girl. Fuck what others think about us. There's nothing wrong with being horny. Everyone's different. It's part of life. I need sex, girl. I get horny fast, girl. Let's fuck in my car, 'cause I wanna sweat, girl. I need sex, girl. I get horny fast, girl. Let's fuck in my car, 'cause I wanna sweat, girl. So I can lose face fast. Face flat. Baby, girl. So I can look sexy. Face flat. Baby, girl.

• 1:41:01Speaker 06

  So I can look sexy. Face flat.

• 1:41:08Speaker 04

  So I can look sexy. Face friend. Baby. Baby girl. So I can look. Let's fall in love, girl. So we can enjoy the best for every young years together. So we can have passionate hardcore sex every day and every night. And make Armenian babies one day.

• 1:41:35Speaker 03

  From the studio that brought you WandaVision. I was an Avenger, but I'm not a hero anymore.

• 1:41:43Speaker 03

  The Vision returns for the final chapter of the groundbreaking trilogy. That family wasn't real. You sure about that? I had a father called Vision. How is this possible?

• 1:41:54Speaker 03

  Don't miss the two-episode premiere of Marvel Television's Vision Quest. Nothing bonds a family together quite like Mortal Jeopardy. Now streaming only on Disney+.